OAOAST Syndicated 11/25/09

[Patty O'Green 0]

 

OAOAST Syndicated!

 

With

 

 

JESSE VENTURA

 

 

TONY SCHIAVONE

 

 

LEAD CORESPONDENT TONY BRANNIGAN

 

 

SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

 

AND

 

 

HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

Brought to you by American Express

 

 

Alix kicked off the show with her monolouge, some highlights: "So recently the city of Los Angeles has jailed a guy for using his house as a place for homeless people to seek shelter. In other news its been announced that LA will now be going by the name "Home of the most evil bastards on earth." "In other news Michael Jackson's doctor seeing patients despite investigation of homocide, these patients have a very rare disease called "are you idiots fucking stupid-itis, a disease who's earliest known case is George W.Bush"

 

Tony Brannigan conducted a podium interview with the Can-Am Assassins, who chewed out the LDC Moneygang for interfering in their recent tag title bout against Team Heyross. This prompted a response by the LDC Moneygang, with Spencer Reiger claiming his emotions got the better of him as he could no longer sit and watch Team Heyross “cheat like politicians on their wives. Our good intentions resulted in bad consequences, but we kept out word…we had your backs.” After a moment of silence Strutter looked the LDC Moneygang in the eyes and stated, “That’s deep, man. It hit me right there, in the heart. And you’re right, you had our backs. You supported us in an arena full of haters that night. Ken and I would like to return the favor this coming week as you guys go for the gold on HeldDOWN~! Put ’er there, homie.” The segment closed with Strutter giving Reiger a fist bump, and Reiger looking into the camera to say, "BTW, we're the team captains.

 

***ThunderKid Vs Tyler Bryant****

 

Tyler got the better of the early exchanges with kicks and some well placed slams. TK fought his way back into the match using elbows and well placed strikes. He then took over the contest, pummeling Tyler with powerful blows. But a missed lariat, spelled doom as it allowed Tyler to get back on the offense. Things were evenly matched at that point, until Tyler reversed a pinfall into a hurricanrana for a surprise pinfall!

 

Winner: Tyler Bryant, via pinfall.

 

Post match did not fare so well for Tyler Bryant, as TK became a sore loser and nailed the D*LUX member with a Thunderbolt DDT! Gotta keep that heat, my nigs.

 

THIS WEEK ON A SPECIAL THANKSGIVING HeldDOWN~!

TAG TEAM TITLES: TEAM HEYROSS VS LDC MONEYGANG

US TITLE: ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS THUNDERKID

THURSDAY!

 

We cut inside an empty roller skating rink, where Josh Matthews is sitting on a bench with Denzel Spencer. Josh asks Denzel to explain the upcoming match at November Reign for the fans, and Denzel explains that the match is called a "Skate or Die" match, and the match would take place inside this roll arena, with all participants competing while wearing roller skates. He explains as he skates alongside Josh on the rink that the match will last 20 minutes, with pins counting throughout, and the last combatant to score a pin will walk out the champion. So just like the Sunday Detention match from 2006, except it's in a roller rink on roller skates.

 

The OAOAST Quote of the Week

 

Jade, its pro wrestling, there are only three guarantees; it’ll be homoerotic, it will unfailingly promote ethnic stereotypes, and it will lie to and possibly destroy its own fanbase. Morgan she's all your's. Have a blast!

 

A new feature to the show aired titled "Eat like the Superstars," where OAOAST talent share their favorite receipes. This week it was how to cook a delicious turkey dinner with Mr. Dick and Malaysia. "Now, the first thing you gotta do is buy a turkey. Unlike pleasing a woman, size doesn't matter so any bird will do. Next you wanna get your turkey injector and marinate that sumbitch with special flavor." With that Mr. Dick dropped trou and reimagined the famous pie scene from American Pie.

 

"Hey, you can't do that. You're gonna get us thrown off the air!" a producer shouted.

 

The show's logo appeared on-screen as the director immediately cut away, though audio of Mr. Dick pounding the turkey could still be heard. "MMM-MMM, UNH! Once finished pop that bird in the oven, set it to about 325° and in a few hours you'll have one delicious turkey."

 

***Megan Skye and Queen Esther -VS- Melody Nerdly and Molly Nerdly***

Queen Esther came to the ring decked out in her luxurious velvet tracksuit, ready to fight. If she really had to. So long as she didn't have to, she was perfectly fine with standing on the outside and observing. So Megan contested virtually the entire match by herself against both of the nerdiest Nerdly sisters. Megan held her own fairly well, using her kickboxing background to fend off her opponents. After cutting off Molly, Megan eventually got confident enough to tag in Esther. The Queen delivered a grand total of two stomps before tagging back out and soaking in the feeling of being in battle. Way to go. Megan could only hold of Molly for so long before she escaped and tagged in Melody. A big "wacky comeback" from Melody was stopped by a roundhouse to the back of the head. However, Megan set up for the Tornado DDT and was countered, Melody hitting the SHORYUKEN~! Queen Esther reached up and tagged herself in, trying to surprise Melody with a rollup. She only scored two and was then in trouble. 'Surrounded', Esther turned away from Molly and was pinned, after ONE Melody Tomahawk Chop to the head renderred her powerless to kickout.

 

Needless to say, Megan didn't look too impressed.

 

Winners: Melody Nerdly and Molly Nerdly, via pinfall

 

No sympathy from her partner, Queen Esther wailed in pain and had to be helped to the back, such was the DOOM she had just suffered.