Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted December 24, 2009 [i]Rock Your Baby[/i] hits, as the lights go out and the giant multi-colored disco ball comes down from the ceiling. A haze-like smoke fills the entryway, and Vinny Valentine struts through, followed by an enraged looking Biff Atlas. His nose flares, his teeth grit, and his eyes are narrowed into sinster slits. Vinny attempts to cheer his partner up with some funky dance moves, but Biff will have none of it. All Vinny can do his shrug his shoulders and strut down the entrance ramp, with a disco themed walk. Biff stalks behind him, breathing heavy, and giving nasty glares at anyone who dares look at him. COACH What is this suck ass sucka’s problem? He gets to be on a major show doing something that doesn’t involve being thrown off a scaffold by Mister Dick. He should be happy. PENZER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 448 pounds...the team off BIFF ATLAS and WDW SUPERSTAR VINNY VALENTINE...PANIC AT THE DISSSSSSSSSSSSCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Vinny slides into the ring, where he flashes a smile at the ring announcer. He then hops onto his feet, and shows off his groovy and far out zebra print pants. For his part, Biff partakes in no showy expressions, instead solemnly leans against the corner. PENZER And the opponents…. [color="#000080"][i]Mother Tell your children not to walk my way Tell your children not to hear my words What they mean What they say Mother Mother Can you keep them in the dark for life Can you hide them from the waiting world Oh mother Father Gonna take your daughter out tonight Gonna show her my world Oh father[/i][/color] The bold strings of [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgSn0SbQJQI"]Danzigs “Mother[/url]” wash away any remnants of “Rock Your Body”. Blue lights blast from the entrance stage towards the ring as the pulsing guitars scream across the arena. The unusual combination of the dainty and innocent Queen Esther and her mohawked mauraders appears through the entrance door. Danny Boy squats down, and his long tongue slithers out his mouth like a fierce snake. Scott stands at his side, holding his spiked club in the air, his wild eyes daring Panic! At The Disco to confront him. Behind these two the WDW lettering flashes with bright blue and white lights, while the globe displays their numerous conquests and adventures. PENZER Being accompanied by Queen Esther hailing from Ireland and Scotland respecticvly, they are THE CELTIC THUNDER DANNY BOY, THE BRAVEHEART SCOTTISH SCOTT….THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAAAAAND! [color="#000080"][i]Not about to see your light And if you wanna find hell with me I can show you what it's like Till you're bleeding Not about to see your light And if you wanna find hell with me I can show you what it's like Till you're bleeding![/i][/color] COACH These are just some evil grimy ass dudes, no lie. These cats is straight out the gutter. There’s very few cheers for the brutish hooligans and their queen as they stomp along the entrance ramp. Their violent eyes scan the audience, eagerly looking for some poor soul to pummel. Oblivious to her team’s crazed and violent ways Queen Esther eagerly gets to the announce table to fill in Jivin Jr’s spot. With great pride and eagerness she watches her charges slide into the ring. They strike a pose with Danny squatting down on one knee, while Scott puts on a ferocious snarl and holds his spiked club above his mohawked head. COACH Thank god! Welcome, your highness, it is a pleasure to sit with true royalty. QUEEN ESTHER Yes, yes! I’m almost delirious from the excitement of our entrance, all those boos must have been because they wanted us be longer and more theatrical to showcase our acting talents. COACH Yes, your highness, that is exactly what those boos were for. DING DING DING Not forgetting that he’s been hung from a light post, Biff bum rushes the Last Kings, sending them toppling to the canvas. Scott is wise enough to roll out of harms way, but his partner owns no such wisdom. As such he’s furiously stomped at by the enraged Californian. QUEEN ESTHER My, I can’t watch this animalistic display! It offends my delicate sensibilities! Biff scrapes Danny off the canvas, by the seat of his trunks and tosses him into the corner. The Celtic Thunder tries to make a speedy escape, but Biff keeps him there with furious right hands. The blows land with incredible power, drawing welts along Danny’s face. But they come to abrupt end as Biff opts for a different direction. He leaps into Danny’s chest and then falls backwards to monkey flip him into the center of the ring. By sheer luck alone does Danny land on his boots. His luck quickly runs out when Biff grabs onto his Mohawk and slams him down to the mat. “I HAVE UNLEASHED THE FUUUUUURRRRYYYYYYYYYY!” Biff shouts while pounding his chest. QUEEN ESTHER Quick, someone shoot him before he kills again! COACH Now this idiot thinks he’s the Incredible Hulk. “BIFF ANGRY!” he shouts at The Celtic Warrior, who can’t quite comprehend why Biff is talking in the third person and in capital letters. That’s the least of his worries, though, as Biff runs forward to smash him upside the head with a forearm. Danny falls over onto the canvas, leaving him open to more painful stomps from his crazed rival. Once through with leaving his foot print on Danny’s face, Biff scrapes him off the canvas. He then guides his foe to the Panic corner, where a tag is made with Vinny Valentine. “BIFF REST. YOU KILL!” “Don’t worry, daddio, V-squared is on his game!” Vinny assures Biff, strangely not freaked out about his sudden personality change. Vinny launches a parade of punches at Danny Boy, that move the Irishman back towards the center of the ring. He then grabs onto his arm and throws him into the ropes for an irish whip. Vinny lowers his head, forcing a leapfrog on Danny as he returns. When Danny bounces off the ropes, he’s caught by a flipping dropkick from V2. QUEEN ESTHER This is awful! This half-zebra half-man creature is hurting my loyal knights! COACH Half zebra….I think those are just his tights, not actual zebra legs. Vinny hooks the leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Scottish Scott returns from the middle of nowhere to break up the pinfall! Eager to gain some revenge, he begins pounding on Vinny while Danny Boy takes a moment to recover. SS hurries his partner along, and together they bring Vinny off the canvas. The two ignore warnings and chastisement from the referee, as they set the dazed Disco Duck up in front of them. In one super fast motion they strike his head with a double headbutt! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” QUEEN ESTHER They have called that the Mohawk Tomahawk. Isn’t it just majestic? No half zebra half man can escape the pain of that move. COACH Half zebra….he’s not….you know what, you’re right, he is half zebra half man and he’s a horrible mutation that doesn’t deserve to live. QUEEN ESTHER I’m tickled that you see it my way! Danny attempts a pinfall on his downed foe. ONE! TWO! “BIFF DESTORY!” comes a thunderous roar as Atlas kicks Danny off his partner. “YEAAAAAAAA!” Deciding its better not to be shellacked by Biff once again, Danny rolls backwards to his corner and applies the tag with Scottish Scott. COACH I gotta ask. I love The Last Kings of Scotland, but how do you, such a classy chick, get linked up with crazy, violent, Mohawked hooligans? QUEEN ESTHER Oh you mustn’t refer to them as hooligans. They’re brave and loyal knights, and I can file my nails on their Mohawks. The Braveheart lifts Vinny off the canvas and treats his midsection to a bevy of knee strikes. Valentine stumbles away, short on breath and weak in the legs. Scott uses this time to bounce himself off the ring ropes. And when he returns he levels Vinny with a lariat to the back. “SCOTT ANGRY! SCOTT KILL!” The Braveheart mocks Biff all while laying stomps into Valentine’s back. Next, he grabs onto Vinny’s slick hair and pulls him to his feet. He then shoves him into a neutral corner and backs to the center of the ring. SS snorts like a bull, then charges like one at V-Squared. But Vinny is ready for his arrival with a kick to the face! The fans cheer as Scottish Scott timbers backwards to the canvas. Scott’s pain allows Vinny to crawl along the ring ropes and apply the tag to Biff. “BIFF HAVE THE FUUUUURRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!” QUEEN ESTHER That’s not even proper queen’s English! Oh he, must be shot, he just must! Our lives are in danger, Jonathan, don’t you see? COACH Baby, get a little closer to the Coach, I’m gonna save the world. There’s no one to protect Scottish Scott as Biff runs through him with phenomenal power. COACH Now why can’t this idiot do this all the time? Why he gonna be that dude that gets kicked in the face, falls over the top rope and thinks he can fly? Scott slowly and painfully gets back to his feet. Sadly for him, he meets the same result as furious Biff turns him inside out with another shoulder tackle. Scott crawls to the corner, feeling as though his bones have been put through a meat grinder. Not wanting to let up on his surge, a snarling Biff Atlas follows him into the corner. The Braveheart fends him off through with a simple but effective knife edge chop. The blow only makes Biff all the madder, and he winds up to strike down Scott with an overhand right. But the Scotsman delays this strike with a kick to Biff’s knees. Hobbled, Biff is easily struck by a European uppercut from the European. QUEEN ESTHER I simply don’t know how you do it week in and week out! My hearts a flutter, I’m sweating, my hands are shaking, and a half zebra half man creature may eat me! Scottish Scott grabs Biff into a front facelock, and then falls backwards to spike his head into the canvas with a DDT. He rolls his foe onto his back and makes a pinfall… ONE! TWO! “BIFF NEVER DIE!” he shouts with his kickout. QUEEN ESTHER Never die? He can never die? That…that…that means he can be only one thing…A ZOMBIE! A zombie and a half breed animal! I feel as though I could faint from fright! COACH You just fall right into my lap, babygirl. Scott has Biff back on his feet and hits him with a series of forearm shots to the face. These leave Biff staggered, and Scott is able to wrap his arms around Biff’s waist. Within seconds he’s lifting him up and slamming him downwards with a sidewalk slam. Another pinfall attempt is made… ONE! TWO! Biff gets his shoulder off the mat at the last possible second. COACH So much for the Incredible Biff. Scott kicks Biff in the back repeatedly, gaining some retribution from earlier. Smiling as he does so, Scott even invites the referee to get in a few kicks. “Come on ye bastard!” Scott barks as he picks Biff off the canvas. Biff makes an attempt to fight back, winging left hands into Scott’s midsection. However the burly Scotsman shuts down the comeback with wellplaced knees to the head that leave his opponent dazed. QUEEN ESTHER I don’t promote or condone violence, but I think this Biff Atlas needs a good whack in the head. COACH Finally someone says it! Scott brings in Danny Boy with a tag, while still holding onto Biff. Scott’s grip permits The Celtic Thunder to climb to the second rope. With tongue hanging out, Danny leaps forward and strikes Biff’s arm with an elbow. COACH Where is BIFF SMASH, BIFF KILL, now? That’s what I wanna know! Biff staggers away, clutching his sore arm and trying to wring out the pain. Unfortunately this leaves him wide open to Danny Boy nailing him with a chop block! As soon as Biff falls to the canvas, the tongue wagging Irishman attempts a crucial pinfall. ONE! TWO! Biff finds the strength and will to kickout. “BIFF! BIFF! BIFF!” the fans sing, lead on by Vinny. QUEEN ESTHER My, my, I think these people are confused; his name is Danny, not Biff. COACH No they aren’t confused, they’re just stupid, and they relate to a lame ass as stupid as them. The Celtic Thunder brings Biff to his feet and inside a front facelock. He then backs up into his corner, where Scott slaps his back for a tag. Entering the ring, Scott makes his presence known by repeatedly battering Biff’s ribs with kick. Once the referee’s five count is finished and Danny is forced to leave the ring, The Braveheart pounds on Biff’s back with forearms. Biff winces in agony, as he tries to summon the strength that aided him so greatly early in the match. QUEEN ESTHER My loyal kings have slain the mighty dragon! I can breathe again! Esther spoke to soon as Biff begins striking back at Scott with left jabs. Having stunned the Scotsman, Biff traps him inside a front facelock. He calls for a vertical suplex, bringing cheers from the fans. But that joy is short lived as Scotts uses his strength to muscle over Biff with a Northern lights suplex. The referee counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Biff kicks out the pinfall, bringing forth a pop from the WDW audience. COACH The most annoying thing about Biff? He’s hard to kill off. Biff is back on his feet, and throwing right hands against Scott’s face. The Braveheart puts an end to that comeback attempt with a cruel rake of Biff’s grass green eyes. “BOOOOOOOOO!” Wile Biff struggles through the pain in order to regain his vision, Scott tags in Danny Boy. The celtic warrior, seeks to use Biff’s marred vision to his advantage and runs across the ring with arm raised for a lariat. But thanks to a warning from Vinny, Biff is able to detect Danny’s arrival and he swings around to deck him with a diving lariat. The fans are ecstatic over seeing Danny brought down with such a powerful strike. COACH Oh great he’s gonna make a hot tag to Vinny. QUEEN ESTHER Hot? Then simply pour water on him! COACH Even with an idiot like Biff its not that easy, your highness. Just as coach prediticted, Biff dives forward and makes the tag with Vinny Valentine! The WDW fans let out a solid cheer for The Disco Duck who rushes into the ring. “DISCO NEVER DIEEEEEEES, BAAAAAAAAAAABY!” Vinny shouts upon entering the ring. Danny greets his arrival with left and right hooks, but Vinny V soon overpowers his Mohawked foe with wild, winging punches. Weakening Danny with those shots, V-Squared is able to lift him onto his shoulders. Seconds later he throws him down with the Night Fever (Alabama Slam)! Vinny does a funky disco dance in celebration while Danny writhes in pain. The fans cheer as a critical pinfall is made… ONE! TWO! Scottish Scott breaks up the pinfall! This does not sit well with The Disco Duck and he hops to his feet in order to exchange blows with Scott. The Scotsman is overpowered by Valentine, and is forced to take a run to the ropes. Vinny takes his own run of the ropes, and when the warriors meet in the center of the ring, Valentine gives Scott a taste of his boogie shoes. With Scott laying completely KO’ed, Vinny takes a moment to perform some hip swiveling in Queen Esther’s direction. QUEEN ESTHER I can’t watch anymore! I can’t! I’d rather watch my father die a million deaths than this! As Queen Esther covers her eyes in fear, Vinny Valentine covers Scott. ONE! TWO! Danny Boy hurries into the ring and breaks up the pinfall with an elbow to Vinny’s head. This draws the unstable ire of one Biff Atlas… “BIFF RAGE! BIFF BURN YOU DOWN!” he bellows and then hammers Danny with mega powerful overhand punches. The attacks back Danny Boy into the ropes, where he sags weak and out of breath. “RAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRRR!” The Californian screams into the night sky, before taking a mad run at Danny Boy. He connects a lariat with Danny’s chest, and the two gladiators go tumbling over the ropes. They land in a glob of humanity, while the audience compliments Biff for his newfound adrenaline surge. Meanwhile in the ring, Vinny has Scott set up for another Night Fever! The fans ready themselves to cheer the finisher. However, their excitement is a bit premature as Scott roles through the set-up of the hold. Vinny charges him but Scott captures Vinny onto his shoulders in sitting position! QUEEN ESTHER Is it safe to look? COACH In a second. That second sees Scottish Scott to spin around and sit out to slam Vinny face first into the canavs with a Collie-Buckie (Spinning front electric chair slam) “BOOOOOOOOOO!” The pinfall is made by the grinning Scotsman…. ONE! TWO! Biff reenters the ring, but is too late to help his partner. THREE! “BOOOOOOOO!” COACH You can look now, your highness. Your guys won! QUEEN ESTHER Oh hooray! Hooray! What a magical day it is! The fairies have blessed us! The Mohawked Mutants bang their heads together, grinning wildly over a hard earned victory. BUFFER The winners……THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND! Queen Esther gives Coach a kiss on the cheeks and scurries off to celebrate with her men. COACH Hyuk, hyuk, aww shucks! Coach becomes decidedly less pleased when he realizes he has to sit next to JR again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
