OAOAST Syndicated 12/24/09

[Patty O'Green 0]

 

OAOAST Syndicated!

 

With

 

 

JESSE VENTURA

 

 

TONY SCHIAVONE

 

 

LEAD CORESPONDENT TONY BRANNIGAN

 

 

SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

 

AND

 

 

HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

Brought to you by American Express

 

Alix started off the show with her usual monologue, bantering back and forth with sidekick Maya Duncan Blanchard. The highlight joke was “Congress is planning on saving 40 billions dollars from terminating unnecessary contracts. When asked what congress should do with the 40 billion, Senator John McCain responded ‘Build a time machine so I can go back to 2008 and kill Sarah Palin” However the joking mood was stifled when Leon Rodez appeared on set. Absent Morgan, he stood on his own as he lamented his own lost show The Love Shack. He mentioned that's where he and Alix fell in love, but in the long run she left him for Krista. He felt as though he'd been strung along and mislead by Alix. The Princess of Los Angeles contested that statement, saying he ruined the relationship by chosing the 24/7 title over her. However, Alix was glad he did so as it allowed her to move onto Krista, whom she loved for years. Alix remarked that Leon is as selfish now as he was then, and he'll probably break Morgan's heart with his cruel self adsorbed attitude. The Fallen Idol ignored the accusation and complained about the fact that Alix would be spending Christmas with her loved ones, whereas he'd be dining on a TV dinner alone in his living room. Leon promised he'd gain retribution for the things she and Krista have done to him, and that revenge would be the greatest holiday gift he could ever get.

 

***VICE Vs Panic! At the Disco/W Tony Tourettes***

 

A Santa Claus dressed Tony Tourettes handed out Christmas presents as a kind gesture towards the OAOAST Marks. Less kind was Bosley, who ripped the presents out of people’s hands and laughed as he stomped them into the ground

 

Vinny looked sharp in the opening against Bosley, out wrestling the former New York police officer. This gave Bosley a severe case of roid rage and he attempted to unload his fury on Valentine. But Vinny was able to ride out the storm and pick up some nice near falls. Biff came in and carried on V-Squared’s good work. Several high impact holds nearly won his team the contest. However, when CPA got the tag the fortunes of PATD begin to sink. The former boxer’s powerful punches did a number on Vinny, settling him a good distance from his partner. Bosley and CPA took turns beating on Valentine and the outcome appeared bleak for The Disco Duck. But Vinny fought back against both members of VICE. However, on his way to make the hot tag, his partner was yanked off the apron by All The Queen’s Men! The referee rung the bell as the four hooligans dragged poor Biff to the back.

 

Winner: Panic! At The Disco, via DQ

 

Alix and Maya’s guest for the week was none other than Kris Kringle, Santa Claus! The jolly old man brought presents for the two girls, even though he accused both of them of being very naughty. Maya claimed she was well within her rights to clock Kathy LeBarron at school for insisting Joe Jonas was hotter than Zac Effron. Alix said when she’s naughty, Krista spanks her for nearly a half an hour because she’s too drunk to hear Alix screaming the safe word. Santa said he had gifts for the OAOAST talent as well. Maya wondered if his bag had a personality for Ken Pantera, and Alix thought it should have “A reason for Rico De Janerio to exist”

 

ONE & ONLY QUOTE OF THE WEEK

 

Compared to Molly or Mom your chest might as well be pavement at Daytona.

 

***One & Only World Tag Team Championship: Team Heyross © d. Los Diablos de Fuego***

 

6 minutes of nonstop action saw the champs retain after hitting the Super Rocker Dropper on Mariachi. After the bout Tony Brannigan conducted a podium interview with Team Heyross. Brannigan mentioned the Can-Am Assassins were forced to back out of the upcoming tag title match at WDW Seasons Beatings due to a knee injury Ken Pantera suffered at the hand of the LDC Moneygang last week on HeldDOWN~! It was also noted WDW event organizers and OAOAST officials agreed to name a replacement team, but before the announcement could be made the LDC Moneygang arrived on the set.

 

Spencer Reiger: “Spoiler alert, boys and girls. So if you don’t want to know who the replacement team is until Brannigan officially announces it, I suggest you cover your ears and mute your televisions. Now that you’ve done that, allow me to let the cat out of the bag. It’s us! That’s right. We’re the second ranked team in the tag division, and with the very unfortunate news of Ken's injury, that shoots us up to the top spot! So do us a favor and shine those belts real nice for us. We‘ll pick them up at Seasons Beatings.”

 

The LDC Moneygang’s jaws dropped when Brannigan revealed Deuce Deuce Bigelow and Jumbo were getting the title shot at Seasons Beatings, not them.

 

Brannigan: “It’s a WDW event and they competed in WDW. Although I was informed you, Spencer Reiger, will be in action at Seasons Beatings against Felix Strutter in a special challenge match!”

 

Reiger: “Tell Josie she’s out of her mind. I’m not wrestling at a WDW event. Their fans are animals!”

 

The interview concluded with Team Heyross never saying a word and directly to our next match.

 

***Deuce Deuce Bigelow & Jumbo Vs. Los Conquistadors***

 

How do you spell victory? S-Q-U-A-S-H. Funky Cold Medina followed by the XL Splash too much for the voodoo practitioners to handle.

 

The road to AngleMania begins.

 

ANGLEPALOOZA

 

Live from New York

Sunday night, January 31

Only on Pay-Per-View

 

Backsatge Josh Matthews was supposed to get an interview with The Last Kings Of Scotland. However, when he approached the interview area he found no sign of the European hooligans. Instead all he found was an open door leading to the outside area. Curious as to where this door would take him, Josh quickly went through it. Once outside he saw the astonishing sight of Biff Atlas five feet off the ground and tied to a light post by Christmas lights. At that point, Danny Boy, Scottish Scott, Rico, and Lucius Soul stepped forward to claim credit for their handiwork. Rico bragged about their new environmental friendly version of a Christmas tree. Scott told Josh they did it to prove a point, that messing with any of the queen’s men could be a dangerous proposition. Danny Boy nodded his agreement, and said he’s in a holiday mood. That meant he was also in a mood to give gifts. He offered Biff the gift of being able to back out their match at WDW: Seasons Beatings. But Biff refused to give up, and spit in Danny’s direction. This led to Biff being knocked out by Scott’s spiked club. Danny Boy promised Biff would be treated even worse at Season’s Beatings.

 

“Eat Like The Superstars” returned to the screen with Maggie and Morgan showing OAOAST Marks fans and Alix how to make a delicious Christmas cake just like Mama Nerdly. Morgan didn’t seem to keen on cooking, remembering back to days Abdullah used to shove the cake into her socks as a practical joke. Maggie was much more thrilled to cook, until her brothers, MARV AND MEL, on a munchie rampage, invaded the set. The two wanted to put their special “green” spice into the mix. Maggie would have none of it, however. A tug of war ensued between her and MARV until the cake flew out of their hands and atop Morgan’s head! Morgan was understandably annoyed, but was then mystified as Alix grabbed a fork and began eating off her head!

 

Josie Baker made her way out to the ring for a special announcement, calling Reject and Alfdogg out to the ring, as well. Josie attempts to make her announcement, but is continually interrupted by Alf and Reject sniping at each other. Josie noted that maybe she couldn't keep them under control, but the special referee she had appointed could do so. This got both men's undivided attention, as she noted that since this was a WDW reunion show, it was only fitting that she got someone with WDW history, and then proceeded to bring out none other than CWM! Reject frantically protested this decision, while Alf, in deep thought, simply stared at CWM as he came down the aisle. CWM returned the stare from across the ring as he entered, then stared at Reject, who is fuming with anger. He shook hands with Josie Baker, then got on the mic and promised that the match would be officiated fairly before departing.

 

HOT NEWZ this week: the upcoming OAOAST New Year’s Spectacular and Anderson Cup, with the announcement All the Queen’s Men (Last Kings of Scotland & Mardi Gras Hellfire Club) and the Heavenly Rockers have joined the Orange County Cobras, LDC Moneygang and a mystery team in next year’s cup. The final two spots and finalized pairings to be revealed at the NYS.

 

 

(That's Scottish Scott btw)

 

 

 

damn neegas dudes need to book something

 

***Landon Maddix w/Megan Skye -VS- Tyler Bryant w/Jade Rodez-Duncan and Maya Blanchard-Duncan***

Singles action for Tyler, against a former OAOAST World Champion. Tyler didn't let reputations intimidate him though and took the fight to Maddix early on, forcing the half-Spaniard to bail from the ring to try and keep the pace slowed down. After the third bailout, Tyler had had enough. Unfortunately, his decision to chase Landon around the ring was unwise and he fell right into Landon's trap. With the advantage, Landon slowly picked apart Tyler, cutting him off with a well-placed kick any time Tyler started to fight back. Landon started to enjoy himself too much though. And after taking an eternity over a second rope dropkick, he was caught and slingshot back into the turnbuckles! With the Duncan girls cheering him on Tyler ran wild, looking like he might upset the former World Champion. A top rope clothesline brought 2, a shining enziguri an even closer 2. Tyler went for the TKO, but Landon slipped out and almost won with a sitout sliced bread. Calling for the GTS, Landon was slipped out on though, Tyler rolling him up for 2. Just as things were looking good for Tyler though he took too long climbing the ropes and with his legs being swept, landing stomach first on the top turnbuckle. Landon took advantage, lifting him off to hit the Go 2 Sleep and get the pinfall victory.

 

Winner: Landon Maddix, via pinfall

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE OAOAST