Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- What do the Angle Awards mean? JESSE VENTURA They mean you’re the best in your field. What do the Angle Awards mean? COLE They mean you can go to the biggest stage of them all and hold your head up pride. What do the Angle Awards mean? TONY BRANNIGAN They mean greatness. What do the Angle Awards mean? TERRY TAYLOR They mean you can stand among immortals. What do the Angle Awards mean? CWM They mean everything. What do the Angle Awards mean? COACH They mean your broke ass can start getting paid decent unless you got a dumbass agent like that idiot Biff Atlas. Saw that whiteboy on an overpass in LA, begging for socks just shook my head and kept it moving. We go into the live arena and see that the entrance stage has been converted to appear like this THE VOICE Welcome to the 2010 OAOAST Angle Awards! “YEAAAAAAAH!” THE VOICE Here to present the award for Young Lion of the year…. Tony Brannigan To a large reception from the sold out audience, a tuxedo clad Tony Brannigan steps up to the stage. TONY Welcome everybody, thanks for joining us. I spend a lot of time working with the future stars of tomorrow at OAOVW. Its one of my many joys in life to see the kids I’ve trained go onto great success here in the OAOAST. It makes me feel proud and good about myself and what our organization does. Over the last year I’ve gotten a chance to watch several of our students be promoted to the main roster. Not only were they promoted, though, they shined as bright as superstars that have been here for years. Tonight we honor these special kids. ~~~YOUNG LION OF THE YEAR~~~ MORGAN NERDLY LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND DENZEL SPENCER LDC MONEYGANG ~~~YOUNG LION OF THE YEAR~~~ TONY The winner is……THE LDC MONEYGANG! Shades on, the LDC Moneygang stand tall wearing all 3 tag belts associated with the One & Only World Tag Team Championship, Young Lion Angle Awards in hand. LORELEI Like they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. And doesn't this one say it all? CMJ/REIGER “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” REIGER Why are you going to be someone that just won an award? If your mothers won employee of the month at their whore house, I wouldn't boo them. I'd be happy for the aids infested whores. Heheheheh. CMJ We'd also wanna dedicaht this awahad to Teddy Moneymakah, lookin forward to seein ya real soon, boss! CMJ and Reiger raise their awards to the jeering crowd and then walk off with Lorelei. VOICE Coming up next……BROMANCE OF THE YEAR! COMMERCIAL ALSO TONIGHT 8 MAN TITLES! CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL VS ALL THE QUEENS MEN TONIGHT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 THE VOICE Here to present the Angle Award for BROMANCE OF THE YEAR…..MAGGIE NERDLY! Maggie emerges from the sliding entrance doors wearing this number… MAGGIE What’s up ya’ll? Maggie Nerdly, It Girl, at the Angle Awards here to present tag team of the year. We’ve got a ton of great tag teams, except for Los Conquesitadors they kind of suck, but the others kick ass. And that’s why its so difficult to pick a tag team of the year. But they gotta pick someone, and we’re gonna find out who! ~BROMANCE OF THE YEAR~ The Heavenly Rockers Team Heyross LDC Moneygang Orange County Cobras D*LUX ~BROMANCE OF THE YEAR~ MAGGIE Your winner is…..TEAM HEYROSS!!!!!! "YEAAAAAAAA!" the fans scream as the former champions make their way onto the stage. BENJAMIN Bromance of the Year is a bit gay... (looks off-camera) ...no offense... LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO BENJAMIN ...but we proudly accept the Angle Award for Tag Team of the Year. MOSS Although we start a new year without gold around our waists yet again, we plan on ending 2010 just like we did 2009 as your One & Only World tag team champions. Maggie leaves with the champions as the commotion from the victory dies down. THE VOICE Here to present the award for ENTERTAINING CHARACTER......CPA! CPA stalks onto stage, puffing on a fine cigar. CPA Entertaining character of the year (looks down at speech) Fuck naw, I ain’t sayin all that shit. (crumbles up speech). The nominees are… ~ENTERTAINING CHARACTER OF THE YEAR~ EVERYBODY! ~ENTERTAINING CHARACTER OF THE YEAR~ CPA The winner is….Queen Esther. CPA is indifferent to the victory. That is until Queen Esther rushes onto stage and kisses him on the lips! That improves the dour superstars disposition quite a bit. QUEEN ESTHER Oh my! I must confess this is a most unusual situation for myself to be in. I never won an award as a child, because of my mentally retarded brother would eat the metal. I was awarded wood chips for jobs well done, but they pale to this beautiful trophy! However, I am a bit confused by this “character” person. Its as if someone thinks I’m only playing a role. And while I do love a good drama, I assure you I am no character. I am just Queen Esther Elenore Endicott, friend of animals everywhere. But I will still humbly accept your award, and I wish you all a happy and merry new year! THE VOICE Coming up....MANAGER OF THE YEAR! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 “Living in America“ by James Brown cues and the All-American Boys proudly wave Old Glory down the aisle. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Hearts of the American people, they fight for truth, justice and the American way… FREEDOM and LIBERTY… THE ALL-AMERICAN BOYS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The guys start up a USA chant, which gets silenced by the familiar music of their opponents. HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Colonel Abdullah and Holly lead the Heavenly Rockers to the ring. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by HOLLY… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The Heavenly Rockers play to the crowd, then get ready to take care of business. COACH And there you see them, Cole, the team that’ll win the 2010 Anderson Cup, The Heavenly Rockers. COLE They guaranteed it on a recent edition of OAOAST Syndicated, along with some not-so-nice comments directed at the then-tag team champions, Team Heyross. * DINGDINGDING * Logan charges Freedom and beats him down, then clubs Liberty in the corner. COLE What a cheap shot! Freedom gets drilled by a back elbow, followed by a scoop slam. Logan heads up top, spreads his wings (arms) and flies, spiking his knee into the head of the All-American Boy! Synth receives the tag and delivers his patent SKY HOOK ELBOWDROP~!!! COACH Stick a fork in these guys, Cole. It’s over. Synth makes the cover as Logan dumps Liberty inside and gives him a PERCUSSION DDT! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Coach handles the replay, and then we go back to the ring where Cole is with the Heavenly Rockers. COLE Another impressive victory for the Heavenly Rockers, who in 3 weeks face Citizen Soldiers in a first round Anderson Cup bout on HeldDOWN~! LOGAN They have as good a shot at beating us as the Jets do of winning the Super Bowl. SYNTH Slim to none! LOGAN & SYNTH ABDULLAH Forget about Citizen Soldiers, Brother Mikey. Let’s talk about Team Heyross. SYNTH Losers! ABDULLAH Who in their right mind would award them the Angle for Tag Team of the Year? COLE The OAOAST Galaxy. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" ABDULLAH Well that explains everything. They are not sound of the mind, body and spirit. How dare they snub the only rock ‘n wrestling band that matters. May a camel defecate in their bowl of cereal! LOGAN Most decorated tag team in OAOAST history, Cole? How bout most embarrassed? Not only did they lose the gold, they got eliminated first! And you know why? SYNTH Because they suck! ABDULLAH Praise be! The music cues and we go back to the award stage! THE VOICE Here to present the award for MANAGER OF THE YEAR....MORGAN NERDLY! Morgan timidly walks onto the stage, but perks up just a little when she hears the applause from the audience. MORGAN Um….hi. Hi, everyone. I don’t really have much to say. So, maybe they should just show the nominees. ~MANAGER OF THE YEAR~! Maya Duncan-Blanchard Jade Rodez-Duncan Molly Nerdly Queen Esther Megan Skye ~MANAGER OF THE YEAR~! MORGAN The winner is Maya Duncan-Blanchard. Maya rushes onto stage and gives Morgan a BIG hug. Morgan is somewhat shocked, but still manages to lightly pat Maya on the back. MAYA I did it! I did it! And I couldn't have done it without any of you guys in the stands. Give it up for yourselves! “YEAAAAAAA!” MAYA Yeaaaaaaa is right, you all are the best. Finally something else I can do better than my sister, long division, dressing, flirting with boys, cooking, cleaning, golfing, tennis, dancing, rock climbing, jumprope, Rock Band, Solitaire, gardening, poker…. COMMERCIAL BREAK MAYA Sewing, knitting, acting, skateboarding, snowboarding, skiing, jogging, multiplication, science, bird watching, and now managing! Thanks guys you’ve been great! Here’s to a D*LUX tag title run in 2010! THE VOICE Up next.....THE HEEL OF THE YEAR COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 THE VOICE Here to present the award for heel of the year.... BREAK THE WALLS DOWN The fans pop rightfully expecting Chris Jericho. But all they get is a smirking Spencer Reiger gliding onto the entrance stage. SPENCER REIGER Expecting someone else? You know, I don’t like this. I don’t like it one bit. Why am I presenting heel of the year? Do I look like a heel? Do I act like a heel? Nope, I act like the dopest dude on earth, and I look like my face oughta be on the cover of GQ everywhere. But, no, according to the Angle Awards committee I’m a bad guy, I kick babies down the street, I poison children’s milk. I helped nail up Christ! I know what it is! I’m better than everyone, and once you’re better than people they catch an inferiority complex and make up a bunch of lies about you. Spencer has an attitude. Spencer never talks to anyone besides Lorelei, and Collin. Spencer won’t sign autographs for kids. Well, I hate kids, and I don’t want to sign shit for your ugly fart-faced munchkins. So get you and your silly crack babies out my face. Man, do I hate kids. Well, whatever, lets see the heel of the year. ~HEEL OF THE YEAR~ Leon Rodez Reject Theodore Moneymaker Landon Maddix Mister Dick ~HEEL OF THE YEAR~ REIGER The winner is.....LEON RODEZ! "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" Leon approaches the podium with the fixed scowl on his face. He looks with disdain at the trophy left for him, picking it up as he glares out at the crowd. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Leon continues to glare, in no hurry to make any sort of a speech. LEON Well... doesn't this just put the icing on the cake of the fall from grace? Waving the award around as he spits out those words, Leon looks around with contempt. LEON Just goes to show how fickle life can be. How fickle people can be. After all I've been put through, all I've had to put up with and deal with in this past year, now you all see fit to look down your noses at me. And why? Because last year, I finally decided that I wasn't going to sit back and take it anymore? That I was going to make other people suffer, the same way that I'm made to suffer everything day of my life? Looking at the award again Leon shakes his head. LEON You know, I used to really care about these things. What you people thought of me actually used to make a difference in my life. Well not anymore. As far as I'm concerned, this 'award' just goes to show how low you people are. And now, anytime I want to know just how little I care about you all... all I have to do is look at this. And think of the disgust you fill me with. ... You're welcome. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Leon walks off with the trophy, still scowling away as he lurches his way bitterly through the entrance doors. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 THE VOICE Here to present the award for face of the year.....MELODY NERDLY and Televisions CHARLIE SHEEN! Melody and TV's Sheen walk onto stage, waving towards the cheering audience MELODY Dunn-dunnn-dunnn-dunnnn-do-deee-deeeeeee. Legend of Zelda theme. Some of you might know it. I am here to present the award for face of the year! For those of you living on Romulus, your Klingon superiors salute you, also a face is a good all around guy or girl. They’re popular with the fans, they don’t pour water on your memory cards when they’re mad at you. CHARLIE SHEEN Klingon superiors? Perhaps I should handle the rest of the speech. The five people nominated for this award are charismatic, noble, and honorable. And most important of all they're beloved by you the fans. MELODY The nominees for face of the year are. ~FACE OF THE YEAR~ Bohemoth Alfdogg Krista Isadora Duncan Baron Windells Alix Maria Spezia ~FACE OF THE YEAR~ CHARLIE SHEEN And the winner is....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN "YEAAAAAAAAAAAH! MELODY Here to accept the award on behalf of her mother, my BFF Jade Rodez-Duncan. Jade walks onto stage and garners a warm ovation from the audience. JADE Thanks, everybody. Mom can't be here tonight, because, um....well.....there's a Martin marathon on BET and she doesn't want to miss "MARTY MAR!" She did tell me that if she won, she'd like to thank everyone in the OAOAST Galaxy for supporting her and putting up with that very geeky nickname. She says that everything she does is aimed at entertaining you all, and she's glad that you've loved it and welcomed her into your homes and your heart. She says if she's gotta be forced to work for a wrestling company under her DUI probation, then she's glad its the OAOAST. Thanks again! Jade bows to the roaring audience. COMING UP NEXT HIGH STAKES MATCH MISTER DICK Vs CHRISTIAN WRIGHT NEXT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 A plume of white mist fills the entrance area as military inspired beat of "Jesus Walks" comes over the loud speakers. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long Green and gold lights flash from the sides of the entrance stage, as Christian Wright and Lorlei step through the misty entry way. Wright’s dressed to kill in grey Armani slacks and fine loafers. Lorelei appears as beautiful as ever in a strapless and backless sparkling blue dress. She twirls around to showcase her stunning beauty, aided by the hand of CW. They hook each other’s arms, hold their noses to the booing audience and make their way to the entrance ramp. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes, the winner will be the number thirty entry in the Lethal Rumble, and the loser will be the number one entry. Now making his way to the ring residing in Washington D.C and accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!! COLE The Angle Awards will continue soon, but right now we have a match with lethal implications! Christian Wright has been holding firm as the leader of The Enterprise while Mister Moneymaker is away taking care of business and nursing a separated shoulder. He gets a chance to due his boss proud if he can be the number 30 entrant in the Lethal Rumble. Wright makes a graceful bow to the audience, which only infuriates the already upset crowd further. Leaving Lorelei to chastise the fans, Wright makes dignified charge up the ring steps. Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer The golden pyro lowers down onto an entrance staged bathed in golden lights. Coming from behind the beautiful downpour is Mister Dick, his toned body filling out tight white breifs and sparkling chaps. At his side, rubbing his broad chest, is Malaysia. The former women’s champion wears black bikini bottoms and a black corset. Mister Dick flexes his powerful muscles and snarls at the camera. The gesture thrills Malyaisa, and she laughes in rapture. BUFFER And the opponent….from San Antonio, Texas, he is accompanied by Malyaisa Nerdly, he is THE HUMAN HARD ON, THE COCKY PRICK, MISTER DICK!!!! COLE I know a student of the game like Alfdogg is watching this match, because the man that wins could very well be his opponent at Anglemania. COACH He has to get past Reject first. Mister Dick dives into the ring, and pumps his crotch into the canvas as he makes kissy faces towards Lorelei. The Money Honey is quite disgusted DING DING DING The two fighters square off in the center of the ring, neither one wanting to commit the first mistake. The crowd boos, urging them to combat. Wright holds firm, but Mister Dick makes a hasty move. He manages to snag CW into a side headlock, earning a small victory. He then switches around his foe, and drops him with a side Russian leg sweep. CW then floats over into a pinfall that’s scored by Clem Buzzlefoxer… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Mister Dick going for that early win. Wright leaps to his feet with hands raised, ready to brawl. But Mister Dick inches away to glare at the referee. Getting no where with Clem, Mister Dick returns to CW with firing right hands. The Natural is bulldozed to the ropes, where MD leans into him and launches him across the ring. The Human Hard On lowers his head, allowing CW to make a leapfrog and head to the opposite ropes. But his return to MD is met with peril as the Texan whirls around and knocks him to the canvas with a spinning lariat! A pinfall is then attempted… ONE! TWO! CW lifts his shoulder off the canavs. COACH Can’t blame Mister Dick for trying to end this match quick. Christian Wright’s been on roll and the longer this match goes the more it favors him. Mister Dick spins around, trying to hit a homerun with that spinning lariat. But The God Child ducks the attack and grabs MD’s hard body into a waistlock. MD struggles through the hold for quite some time, until he finally resorts to his dickish ways and slams a boot into CW’s nether regions. While Wright stumbles around in horrific agony, his smiling foe takes to the ropes. He shoots back at CW with leg raised for a stiff kick. But CW catches his boot and slams it to the ground. Before The Cocky Prick can recover, Wright bridges backwards and throws him down with a Northern Lights Suplex! ONE! TWO! MD pushes his way through the pinfall! As he gets to his feet, Wright pushes a foot forward in an attempt to strike him in the chest. But Mister Dick catches his foot and shakes his head at the fearful God Child. He then upends him, sending him crashing to the mat! As soon as CW hits the canvas, MD is leaping forward to crush his chest with an elbow drop. As Wright grimaces in pain, MD grabs hold of his gelled hair and brings him off the canvas. He lifts The Natural onto his broad shoulders, and spins around to wow the audience. Once he comes to a halt he throws CW forward and lands him chest first across his knees! Thrilled with that accomplishment, MD turns to the crowd and offers them an unwelcome crotch chop. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!“ Sneering at the sold out audience, the Human Hard On begins bringing CW to his feet. But The God Child begins slamming elbows into MD’s ripped stomach. Thus MD is forced to counter with a series of knife edge chops to his foe’s chest. With CW subdued, MD grabs onto his leg and raises him into the air to drop him down with a flap jack. MD once again turns to the fans to celebrate by flexing his amazing muscles. COLE Mister Dick may be one of the most talented and cut athletes in our sport today. CW rolls himself out the ring, to welcome encouragement from Lorelei. But he can’t even get past the apron before MD is grabbing onto his slacks, and jerking him upright. “Foul swine!” Wright bellows and shoves MD away. This greatly arouses MD’s anger and he comes charging back at CW. But The Gold Child sinks down and rams his shoulder into MD’s well cut stomach. MD staggers away, his preoccupation with his own pain allowing CW carry himself to the top rope. When MD refouces his attention on CW, The God Child flies forward to tackle him to the canvas with a diving lariat! CW immediately covers him for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! The Human Hard On makes the kickout! Both competitors roll to their feet and exchange blows. MD takes the victory in the slugfest with a chop to CW’s neck. The DC native has trouble breathing, which allows MD to slam a pump kick into his sore chest. Wright stumbles backwards, finding himself resting against the corner posts. He doesn’t get much reprieve though as MD makes him bite his shiny metal dick! Wright teeters out from the ring posts, leaving him perfectly exposed to the dropkick MD slams into his chest. COLE Mister Dick has decided to target Christian Wright’s chest and it could very well lead to end of The God Child’s unbeaten streak. Mister Dick bounces off the ropes and floors Wright with a lariat! Keeping his frantic pace, MD latches onto Wright’s legs and bridges backwards to slingshot him chest first into the corner posts. On the outside Malaysia grins in delight over CW’s misery. MD seeks to add to that miserey and runs in with a corner splash. But The God Child beats him away with a raised elbow. The Natural rushes after MD and batters him with European uppercuts. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” “SILENCE!” Wright demands, hitting MD with another searing uppercut. MD attempts to fight back, but The God Child unloads another round of uppercuts to quiet him. He then places MD onto his shoulders and rolls forward to dump him on the canvas. COACH C-Dub with the Bank Roll! Is that gonna be enough to keep The Cocky Prick down? ONE! TWO! Mister Dick lifts his shoulder off the canvas. This does not please The God Child, who stomps away at his foe’s arm. He then brings MD off the canvas, only to drop him back down with a neckbreaker. Another pin attempt is made…. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick makes the kickout! Lorelei derides old Clem, but CW is more than content to continue stomping at MD. He brings the Human Hard On to his feet by his slick-backed hair. He then hurls him into the ropes. MD bounces back, and as he nears CW, the DC native swings around and captures him with a sleeper hold. That move doesn’t last very long however, as MD sitsout and stuns him with, well, a stunner. CW goes staggering backwards, clutching his sore jaw. MD builds up some steam and fires himself around to floor CW with a discus punch. He then grabs onto his prized possession and spits at the sold out audience. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Well deserved jeers for Mister Dick. I can’t explain why he continues to antagonize everyone associated with the OAOAST. Mister Dick waits for CW to make his slow rise from the canvas. Once he does, MD springs forward with a polish hammer. But Wright jabs is loafer into MD’s right knee, hobbling the vulgar superstar. Wright hooks on to both his arms and brings him into the air, he then slams him down across his outstretched knee for a back breaker. MD rolls onto his side to cope with his pain. Its an ill advised move, as CW slams a barrage of kicks into his back. To finish off the flurry, CW pushes MD onto his stomach and drops a knee into the center of his back! A pinfall quickly follows…. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick manages a kickout. Still smarting over the attacks to his back, the Texas A&M alum rolls himself to the ropes to catch a breather. There’s no rest for this wicked brawler; CW stalks his position and shoves him into a corner. But there MD finds a sudden surge of life and begins to slam punches into CW’s head. CW is staggered backwards, and a smile appears on MD’s face as he charges forward at his foe. However, The God Child lays him out with a superkick! COLE Oh my, that may have knocked out a few pearly whites, and ruined Mister Dick’s bid to be the number 30 entrant in the Lethal Rumble. As Lorelei applauds for CW, he hooks onto MD’s left leg for the pinall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Mister Dick crawls upright, holding his hand against his burning face. Wright is able to sneak behind him and lift him into the air for a back suplex! Wright bridges his legs and backs and traps MD into a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick again kicksout. “Come on, baby, get up and turn me on!” Malaysia shouts. The Centennial Man hauls Mister Dick off the canvas and throws him stomach first into the corner. He then charges in and slams his shoulder into MD’s back, causing much pain for The Human Hard On. COACH Mister Dick is a former Heisman candidate at Texas A&M, so he’s double tough. COLE Would you stop with the Heisman nonsense? Anyone can look on wikipedia and see that Jock was a third string QB at best! COACH What does that have to do with wrestling? COLE You brought it up! CW wows the audience by hitting a snap powersalm as soon as Mister Dick stumbles out the corner. He quickly hooks the leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Mister Dick again makes a kickout! COLE Neither of these men has won Angle Awards tonight, but they’re fighting for something just as important and that’s positioning in the Lethal Rumble. Mister Dick gets to his feet, and finds himself under fire from CW’s European uppercuts. He quickly brings the attack to an end with a rake of CW’s eyes. This permits him to grab CW into a front facelock and spike his head off the canvas with a devastating DDT! “Yes, baby, yes! Give me more!” Malaysia shouts. Mister Dick heeds her request and drags Christian to his feet. But Wright shoves The Cocky Prick into the nearest corner. Without a wasted motion he rushes after him, but is turned aside with a left cross from the Human Hard On! As Wright awkwardly stagers away, MD bounces himself off the ropes. He comes back and floors The Centennial Man with a lariat to the back of the head! COLE Did you see the way Christian Wright’s head snapped? COACH I saw it, and we might have seen his winning streak be snapped also! Mister Dick makes a rather lazy cover on The God Child. ONE! TWO! Wright pops his shoulder off the canvas, permitting Lorelei to breathe a sigh of relief. Both competitors roll to their feet, but its MD striking first as he hooks CW into a full nelson. Malaysia’s blue eyes brighten at the beautiful maneuver that’s soon to come. COLE Trouble in The Enterprise land! Mister Dick hauls CW up and violently pounds him into the canvas with the Pure Penetration! The Texas A&M alum makes the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! CW kicksout the deadly attack! COACH I thought that was it, Mikey. I thought Mister Dick ended the unbeaten streak. COLE By the look on Mister Dick’s face, he felt the exact same way. Mister Dick spits at Clem for the failed pinfall, causing the elder referee to back away in fear. Wright tries to take advantage of this and lunges at the distracted MD with a lariat. But Mister Dick reads the move, and throws him back down to the canvas with a kneeling rock bottom! COLE The fans may not like either of these two guys, but they are getting quite the wrestling treat here on HeldDOWN! Mister Dick makes another pinfall, informing Clem he better count three this time… ONE! TWO! MD’s hopes for victory are deflated with a kickout! The Human Hard On jumps to his feet and demands Wright do the same. When CW comes to his feet, Wright lifts him onto his shoulders. “Yes, yes, yes, cock block him, cock block him bad!” Malaysia cries in ecstasy. But her fantasies go unfilled as CW succeeds in slipping out of The Human Hard On’s clutches. Mister Dick whirls around to try and tag him with a punch. But CW grabs him inside a front facelock. He then hooks onto MD’s chaps, brings him into the sky then slams him forward with the Stockmakret Crash! “OHHHHHHHHHHH!” Wright hooks both legs for the pivotal pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE Oh my! BUFFER Your winner and now the number thirty entrant in the Lethal Rumble….CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Lorelei joins CW in the ring to celebrate this epic achievement. He bows to the less than adoring audience, but doesn’t let their jeers effect his massive happiness. COLE It’s the unbeaten Christian Wright at lucky number 30, and a very unlucky Mister Dick at entry number one. Lorelei passes CW a microphone so that he may repeat his familiar refrain… WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! THE VOICE Up next...the woman not named Krista of the year award! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 THE VOICE Here to present the Woman Not Named Krista Of The Year Award....DETECTIVE BOSLEY AND KATE HUDSON! Hudson walks arm in arm with Bosley, who jaw jacks to the fans about his being linked with the mega star. KATE The women nominated for this award are heroes to us all. They fight with courage and pride and- BOSLEY Hell yeah, its my turn to rock this bitch! Fuck all these Nerdly bitches getting awards, family full of uptight Virgin Mary’s, don’t matter to me, Chris Jericho breaks the walls down, so does Bosley, vagina walls that is. I will teach you faggots out there how to nail a solid 10. BE UNPREDICTABLE.......sometimes just show up without calling at her crib, that let's her ass know that you are fully aware that she might creep, and if she even think of doing so , she betta think again. DON'T BE OVERTLY CORDIAL TO HER FRIENDS...."mah homegirl say you be mean to her"..You respond....fuck that bitch, she can't pay our bills, she just taking up space, she might respond that your insensitive, but inside she is filled with happiness, because she knows her friends ain't shit, she just hoping you would catch it on your own. I got more, but I ain’t gonna dish my secrets out to you chumps and lowlifes. The crowd stares on in bemused wonderment, having no idea what this to do with the women of the year award. KATE Uh, the nominees are.... ~WOMAN NOT NAMED KRISTA OF THE YEAR AWARD Jade Rodez-Duncan Sophie Holly Morgan Nerdly Molly Nerdly ~WOMAN NOT NAMED KRISTA OF THE YEAR AWARD KATE The winner is.....MORGAN NERDLY! BOSLEY Now that's an ass I can tap! Morgan comes out and looks somewhat like a deer in the headlights, with the spotlight and all eyes on her but no match to concentrate on. Approaching the podium, she picks up the award and looks out at the crowd. And pauses. For some time. MORGAN I... uhm... Morgan leans into the microphone, one hand nervously running through her hair over and over again. Some of the crowd cheer, perhaps trying to encourage the nervous public speaker. Some boo coz she's a heel n kayfabe livez. MORGAN I'd like to... thank everyone who voted... for this. Uhhh... I'd like to thank Leon for being there for me. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MORGAN Ple-please don't boo. He's been so supportive and so understanding and I really don't know what I'd have done without him. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Getting rattled by the chants, Morgan starts to fidget around. MORGAN I... I said STOP, o-okay? The crowd are the ones rattled now and quiten down a little. Morgan takes a few breaths and calms herself down. MORGAN Being the Women's Champion and now... the Woman Of The Year... i-it really means a lot. It feels good. I guess. I'm... not really sure how it feels. I've... never really won anything before, so it's kinda... Morgan trails off again. But, this time, it's not through nerves. Instead, she's interrupted, as Lindsay Gonzalez crashes the stage! Morgan shies away as Lindsay approaches the podium and pulls the bendy microphone towards her. LINDSAY Morgan Nerdly. Woman Of The Year, huh? Hmm. Let me think about that. What's the matter, Morgan? You don't have to be nervous. I'm just out here to be the first to congratulate you on your win. This must be a very proud moment for you. And you know what, you deserve it. I've sat back and I've watched you throughout 2009. You're... quite something. Lindsay sneers. LINDSAY But, let me tell you WHY I was watching you, Morgan. It's because you're the little girl, holding a woman's title. You're the girl who has what I want. The OAOAST Women's Title. A naive little thing like you, couldn't begin to grasp what that title means to someone like me. Someone who's been in this company longer than you've been out of grade school! Somebody who uses this business to make a living... and a very lucrative living at that. This is my business. This is a woman's business. And not one woman in this company understands it like I do. I've lead people to World Championships. Where-as you just subserve yourself to them. Reaching across the podium, Lindsay picks up Morgan's Angle Award. Morgan's eyes grow worried as she sees her award being taken from her. LINDSAY Trust me. This time next year, it'll be Lindsay Gonzalez, OAOAST Women's Champion and 2010 Woman Of The Year! So, until then, enjoy your award... Lindsay turns towards the stage and TOSSES the award away contemptuously. The award hits the stage with a thud and Morgan's heart sinks. LINDSAY Laughing like a hyena, Lindsay walks off and leaves Morgan and her award in pieces. Morgan goes over to her award and drops to her knees, holding a broken-off piece of gold statue and looking on the verge of tears. COLE That was totally uncalled for. This should have been the happiest moment of poor Morgan's life. And Lindsay Gonzalez has the nerve to come out here and just toss her award away, break Morgan's award. What a bitch! COACH Yeah. But not just a bitch, a determined bitch. I like it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 Mariano, Waldo, and Luther are shown in the locker room with Tony Tourettes, Deadbeat Dave and a dejected Vinny Valentine. MARIANO Yo man, why you still bummin' over there? VINNY I just don't know what went wrong, man. I really thought this team was going somewhere. Then all this "superhero" shit started. WALDO Fuck that nigga, he's a chump 4 life, ya smell me? You still got us, homie. MARIANO Yeah, we got yo back. VINNY Thanks, guys. The door knocks. TONY THAT BETTER BE MY GOD DAMN FUCKIN PIZZA! Tony dashes for the door, knocking Luther and Waldo out of the way on his way. He opens the door, but it's Quincy. TONY WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN? I ORDERED MY PIZZA AN HOUR AND A FUCKIN HALF AGO! QUINCY I ain't the pizza man, stupid! It's me, Q, baby! WALDO He prolly ordered one of them pepperoni dick pizzas! TONY FUCK YOU! Tony chucks a beer bottle at Waldo, who ducks as it shatters against the wall. QUINCY Yo V-squared, I just got back from Josie, we got a tag match on Syndicated, son! And we gonna walk out with the W, we guarantee it! And I'm gonna explain how. TONY (pacing the floor) When that pizza guy gets here, I'm gonna SHIT ON HIS FACE WITH MY DICK! Vinny and the BB's continue to talk as the camera cuts back. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 THE VOICE Here to present the award for Feud of the year......VINNY VALENTINE, and KC from KC and the shunshine band! Light applause greet the throwback duo. VINNY VALENTINE Awe Sooky Sooky now, the party is about to start, because the party starter is in da house! Woop woop! KC That's the way uh-uh I like it! VINNY V-Squared knows a thing or two about feuds, daddio. He’s currently got one going down with Biff Atlas, my former best friend that turned square on me over night. I don’t expect us to win feud of the year next year, because next time we meet I’m just gonna take my boogie shoes and dance right up and down his ass. You can tell him I said that! Enough about that jive time turkey! KC Let’s see the nominees for feud of the year. ~FEUD OF THE YEAR~ Alf Vs Reject Krista Vs Leon Krista Vs Mister Dick LDC Moneygang Vs Team Heyross Vs CAA Vs Jumbo and Deuce Morgan Vs Holly ~FEUD OF THE YEAR~ KC The winner is....ALFDOGG AND REJECT! VINNY But neither of them had the balls to face up with V-Squared, the disco legend. That means I'm keepin their award for myself! Ha! Vinny V, you, are an Angle Award winner! V-Squared walks off the stage laughing over his newly "won" award while the crowd heavily booes him. COLE He stole an award! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan stands on the world famous interview stage. BRANNIGAN Oakland, California, please welcome the new tag team champions of the world and Young Lions of the Year… SPENCER REIGER, COLIN MAGUIRE, JR… THE LDC MONEYGANG! And they are accompanied by their manager… LORELEI DECENZO! “The World is Mine“ cues and the LDCMG head ringside to a chorus of boos. Once in the ring they drape their tag titles around Lorelei’s shoulders, and pass their Angle Awards to a nearby referee. BRANNIGAN It’s been signed, sealed and delivered, guys. Sunday night, January 31st live exclusively on pay-per-view, the titles will be on the line as you defend against the Can-Am Assassins at Anglepalooza. And they’ve gone on record stating Lorelei DeCenzo will be in for a surprise if she attempts to interfere again. LORELEI For the last time, I was only trying to find my contact lens. BRANNIGAN How do you explain the low blow? LORELEI That?!? You need to re-watch the video, honey. Felix Strutter fell back into me the same time I was picking my lens off the mat, causing his groin to make contact with my arm. Quite frankly, I think he did that on purpose. I see the lust in Felix‘s eyes. He wants me bad, he wants me real bad. Can you blame him? I’m so beautiful I fantasize about myself. BRANNIGAN Some mental image that is. CMJ The Can-Am Assassins can take their surprise and shove it. Nobody’s taking these belts way from us. REIGER I bet you know something about this so-called “surprise“, Brannigan. You know everything. BRANNIGAN I’m in the dark like you. And it’s certainly not due to a lack of trying. But I do know that next week CMJ has a date with Ken Pantera. CMJ Yeah, and Kenny won’t be getting any flowers when he enters the ring; he'll be getting an ass-kicking! Just like the Can-Am Assassins will at Anglepalooza. LORELEI Now if you'll excuse us. We got better things to do than hang out in Oakland. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BRANNIGAN That’s it from here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 THE VOICE Here to present the award for Match of the Year....ANGLESAULT! The boos are almost deafning as the co-founder of this great company emerges onto stage. "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" ANGLESAULT News falsh: you're booing the reason all of you can even show up to the arena tonight! I made it all possible, I'm the one who turned a dream into a billion dollar empire. The match of the year award is a celebration of all of my hardwork and my forsight. Every time an OAOAST Superstar puts on a classic match, they're doing it in ode and honor to me. These performers are saying thank you to me for putting them on the map. They realize they owe me everything in their life and this is their way of repaying their enormous debt to me. ~MATCH OF THE YEAR~ Team Leject (Leon Rodez, OAOAST World Champion Reject, ThunderKid & The Heavenly Rockers) Vs Team Alix (Alix Maria Spezia, Alfdogg, Bohemoth & D*LUX) Team Landon (Landon Maddix, Nathanial Black, James Blonde, Faqu & the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club) VS Team Baron (Baron Windels, Tim Cash, the Orange County Cobras, Christ Air Express) First blood match: Krista Isadora Duncan Vs Theodore Moneymaker Anglemania: Team Heyross Vs The LDC Moneygang ~MATCH OF THE YEAR~ ANGLESAULT The lucky winner is.....Team Landon Vs Team Baron! To a chorus of boos, Queen Esther emerges, flanked by all of her Queen's Men, dressed to compete. They approach the podium and Queen Esther begins to gush over recieving the award. QUEEN ESTHER Oh! Good heavens! My bosom swells with pride. Gosh! On behalf of my victorious team, it is our honour and our privilege to accept this award for Best Combat. My troops are noble and brave and strong. And we shall fight on, forever more! For Queen and for country! Tally-ho! The Queen picks up one of the awards and heads to the ring, trailing behind The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and Last Kings Of Scotland, who march confidently in front. COLE And All The Queen's Men, set for more... how did she put it... "combat"? Anyway, they're in action next. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Hang on a second. All The Queen's Men and the Queen herself stop at the bottom of the aisle and turn around, to see CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL heading out. Also dressed to compete. And carrying their title belts. Landon forces a smile as he waves down to Queen Esther and her troops, asking them to hold on while he heads to the podium. MADDIX Sorry to jump the gun here. But, uhm, you kinda beat us to it there. That's okay. Obviously, very exciting to have been involved in the best Match Of The Year for 2009. Which is why, as the official team captain for the winning team at November Reign, it's my pleasure to accept this award on behalf of Cucaracha Internacional. Taking the other trophy, Landon's acceptance speech doesn't go down too well with The Hellfire Club or Last Kings, who voice their annoyance from the ring. MADDIX It was a great effort from our team... lead by myself, as I mentioned. And although it was me who scored the final two pinfalls, for the team I captained, I feel that I should not take all of the credit and was definately a team effort. As it will be tonight, when Cucaracha Internacional once again show the world why we're the strongest unit in the entire OAOAST. So, with that in mind, to the Queen, again, thank you for your assistance. And thank you very much for everyone who voted for me... uh, I mean us. Thank you! Landon raises the Angle Award high in the air and begins to lead his team to the ring, with Megan rolling her eyes. COLE Well, the winning team from our match of the year, set to compete over the 8-Man Tag Team Titles right here and now. And maybe Landon could have timed those comments a little better. The champions climb into the ring with Landon making his usual, theatrical spin in. His path is blocked by The Last Kings Of Scotland though, taking exception to Landon's words a moment ago. And pretty soon all eight men are squared off and arguing. Well, seven men. Faqu doesn't argue. *DINGDINGDING!* But as soon as the bell rings, he lets out a roar and starts lashing out at the Hellfire Club, while the LKOS start to fire off on Landon! COLE And I don't think this is quite what Landon and Queen Esther agreed to! COACH Come on guys, can't we all just get along!? A pier-six brawl, or more accurately a pier-eight brawl, erupts and quickly spills outside. Left in the ring are Scottish Scott and Maddix. Scott hammers away on Landon and whips him out of a corner, hard into the opposite one. Landon staggers out and gets sent flying with a big backdrop from the mohawked Scott. Suddenly, Landon wants to play team again and offers a handshake. Hand behind his back and all. Looking down at him, Scott just spits at Landon's hand and starts hammering away again. COLE We've got battles on the floor, a battle in the ring. It's pandemonium here. Scott goes for another irish whip, which Landon tries to reverse, only to find the big Scott refusing to budge. Dropping to his knees Landon tries to beg again. Which still doesn't work, Scott lifting Maddix up by the arm and letting him hang in mid-air for a second, before dropping him to the mat! COLE That could have ripped Landon's shoulder out of the socket! A whimpering Landon rolls out of the ring, allowing Nathaniel Black to sneak in from behind and club Scott across the back. Black succeeds in whipping Scottish Scott to the ropes, burying a headbutt to the midsection. Off the ropes, Black then blasts Scott in the side of the head with a Knee Trembler! He roars out to the crowd, but then turns around and takes a dropkick from Danny Boy! COACH Aah! I just realised, I don't know who to cheer for! Curse all these incredibly talented men! As Black rolls outside, James Blonde replaces him. Ducking underneath a clothesline, Blonde comes off the ropes and hits Danny Boy with a flying forearm. He kips up, then hits a HBK pose for no real reason. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde turns around, confronted by Lucius Soul, who finds time in this melee to comb his 'fro. Apparantly Blonde is impressed with the look. And Lucius offers the comb to Blonde. As Blonde starts to comb at his locks though, Lucius surprises him with a boot to the gut! Whipped off the ropes, Blonde manages to duck a clothesline. He doesn't duck the spinning wheel kick that follows though. Kipping up in even more impressive fashion than his opponent, Lucius busts out a second comb and teases at his 'fro with a smirk on his face. The smirk disappears quickly though, as Faqu enters the ring. Sensing something is amiss, Lucius jams the pick in his 'fro and turns around, fearing the worst... FAQU BLAAARWHAAAGHHAAAHHH!! ...and gets chopped off his feet!! COLE Oh, MY what a shot! Rico comes in, but Faqu only needs to give him a look to send him scurrying to the outside. Grabbing Lucius by the hair Faqu throws him into a corner. Stricken with fear The Black Knight is clubbed and struck until he's sat against the bottom turnbuckle, before being choked with the foot. COLE Uh-oh. Not the place to be for Lucius Soul. Black and Blonde rush over and block off Rico and Danny Boy, while Landon holds Lucius from the outside, not allowing him to escape from the RUNNING ASS CHARGING HIS WAY!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH Oh! Not even a 'fro gonna cushion that blow! As Lucius rolls outside, Scottish Scott rolls in behind Faqu. The big Samoan beats his chest and turns around, face to face with the big Scott. Who shows no fear, going NOSE TO NOSE with Faqu! Heavy breathing, grunting and snorting aplenty. COLE What a face off this is. COACH Looks like something off of the Discovery Channel. You ever seen two big ol' ugly apes fighting over an apple core? COLE Shall I tell Scott you said that? After staring each other down, the two big men start trading blows. Scott clubs Faqu across the chest with a forearm. And Faqu responds. Clubbing forearm from Scott. Clubbing forearm from Faqu, neither man budging. Faqu suddenly beats his chest and screams in Samoan... so Scott beats his chest and yells right back at him, then backs off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Knocked off balance, Faqu comes back off the ropes behind him with a shoulder tackle of his own. Scott hits another shoulder tackle. But Faqu comes back and finally drops Scottish Scott with a charge! COLE Wow, big knockdown. Faqu, king of the jungle in the view of Jonathan Coachman. Faqu starts shouting and hollering again. Coming off the ropes, he walks right into Scottish Scott though, who PICKS HIM UP AND HITS A BODYSLAM!!!! "WOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH YO~! COLE What a display of power from Scottish Scott! Incredible! Getting over-excited, Scott starts pounding his chest and gets rolled up by Landon! 1... 2... No! Back up, Scott goes to take Landon's head off with a clothesline, but Landon ducks and Scott goes flying over the top to the arena floor. COLE Bodies flying everywhere. I guess the referee has abandoned any sense of a legal man. And I don't know if I can blame him. As Scott picks himself up Landon sizes him up and looks ready to fly. He tries to get the crowd into the idea, which is a fail. But undettered, he takes off into the ropes, charging towards Scott's side of the ring... AND THROWING HIMSELF UNDER THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH A DIVE!!!! "YYEEEAAAAAHHHHH - BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Low flying suicide dive, Landon just DROVE Scottish Scott back into the guardrail! Inside, Rico exchanges shots with Black, while Blonde lays in wait out of sight. But Danny Boy appears and pulls Blonde out of the ring before he can interject himself. Ducking a forearm, Black doesn't need him though, nailing Rico with a Lariat!! 1... 2... No! Black growls at the referee and yells at Rico to "get up" in his thick Cockney accent. COLE Black is poised here. Rico in trouble! As the Brazilian gets back up, his gives his 'stache a bit of a stroke and falls backwards, into the clutches of Black... ...but Rico escapes the Crossface Chickenwing! Slipping behind, Rico picks Black up, ready for a back suplex. Showing great strength he holds the Brit in place, waiting while Lucius slides into the ring, to catch Black with a Neckbreaker on the way down!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE A Hairraising Experience for Nathaniel Black! Could we have new champions here? Cover by Rico... 1... 2... Kickout! Now it's the Hellfire Club's turn to call for the end and they set Black up for the 3:10 to Hell. Lucius climbs the turnbuckles, while Rico picks Black up for the powerbomb. However, as Lucius gets to the top rope, Landon re-appears and gives Lucius a shove... ...SENDING HIM FLYING OFF THE TOP ONTO DANNY BOY AND BLONDE!!!! QUEEN ESTHER COACH Damn! Dudes is flying everywhere! COLE Landon with a save, but sacrifices one of his own in the process. Although if he had to sacrifice someone it might as well by who'd take a bullet for you, if asked. Or, even if not asked. Infact he'd probably ask to if he thought it'd make Landon happy. Seeing his partner plummet out of the corner of his eye, Rico turns around and grabs Landon. Maddix shrugs it off though and drops to the floor, hanging the Brazilian's neck across the top rope. Rico staggers backwards, into Black, who does a quick 180 and lays him out with the BLACK LARIAT! Cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE Rico hanging in there. A win here tonight would go some way towards making up for Anderson Cup disappointment, at the hands of the Orange County Cobras earlier this week. As Rico gets back up, Landon slides in and starts directing traffic. Rico is whipped into a corner and targetted by the champions. Clothesline in the corner by Black. Jumping forearm in the corner by Landon. And a big Avalanche in the corner from Faqu!! COACH So, more disappointment then? COLE It looks that way right now. Winded, Rico falls out of the corner. Maddix quickly reels him in and plants Rico face-first into the mat with the Complete Shot, quickly going for the cover... 1... 2... SAVE BY SCOTTISH SCOTT! COLE No, the Queen's Men still in this one. And maybe it's Landon who'll be disappointed. Disappointed he ever agreed to this match with the Queen! Because I'm sure that's not what he signed up for when this 'working relationship' began. Scott is ambushed by Faqu and Black and comes up swinging, trying to fight both men off. A knee from Black puts a stop to that though. Overwhelmed by Faqu and Black, Scott is beaten down to his knees. But he surprises both men from there, by jabbing his mohawked head into each of their stomachs. Scott then hits a big shoulder check, sending Faqu crashing through the ropes to the outside! COLE One thing the Queen's Men have is Scott's power... Cucaracha Internacional use Faqu to do the damage, which has been the downfall of most teams who come up against them. But Scott has butted heads with the big Samoan and come out pretty well from it. Butting heads again, he and Black start trading headbutts after going toe to toe with forearms. Neither man really gets the advantage and only end up hurting themselves. Which allows Landon to pick his spot, catching Scott with a Dropsault. The bigman doesn't go down. So Black runs him over the top rope with a clothesline. Scott falls right into Faqu and they start going at it again, while Landon pats Black on the back... ...and turns around to be hit with the HAND OF GOD by Rico!! "YYEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!" COACH AAAHH! COLE Landon didn't see it coming! Rico quickly jumps on top... 1... 2... NO!! Black turns around just in time and breaks the count, pulling Rico off of Landon AND SLAPPING ON THE CROSSFACE CHICKENWING!!!! COLE The Crossface is locked in! Will Rico be forced to tap!? Dragging Rico away from his KOed partner, Black tries to take Rico down. And although the Brazilian fights it, he's eventually pulled to the mat and trapped in the bodyscissors! COLE And now Black has the hold synched in, nowhere to go for Rico! With his shoulder being torn at, Rico tries to hold on, perhaps noticing Danny Boy crawling into the ring. And the Scot starts to inch his way over towards Landon, still laid out and there to be pinned. But before Danny can get there, Rico decides he can take no more AND TAPS OUT!! COLE That's it! *DINGDINGDING!* Black lets Rico go, as Queen Esther looks crushed. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... JAMES BLONDE, FAQU, NATHANIEL BLACK and LANDON MADDIX... CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The titles of dubious lineage stay with Cucaracha Internacional. But they dodged a real bullet tonight. Maybe after this, Landon will need to start refusing even more teams the chance to challenge for the belts, because they came so close to losing out here tonight. COACH Why you gotta downplay a great win like that? Give it up. Show some respect. Eight of the realest dudes on the planet just tore it up and you're whining about Baron again? COLE It was a great match. Happy? COACH Ecstatic. The belts are handed over, but seem to fall on Megan's shoulders as Black and Faqu are unconcerned and Blonde is more worried about dragging Landon's unconscious body to the ring. With Landon still seeing stars, Blonde takes it upon himself to CARRY Landon up the aisle in his arms, which is only slightly gay, honest. And Megan is left with the four mix and match belts. Meanwhile Queen Esther looks sad, as her Men try to hold council over how they could have lost. THE VOICE Coming up the Superstar of the Year Award! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2010 we go to the back, where deep in the darkened negelected reaches of the arena, Morgan Nerdly sits against a wall. Holding her dented and chipped Angle Award in her hands, her head rests in the lap of Leon Rodez, who is also sat against the wall but looking off into the distance, dis-interested. MORGAN ...and I was nine years old. It was the last day of school before the holidays and there was a big assembly in the hall, where all the children were sat and they were going to give out awards. They gave out all of these sports awards and everybody clapped and smiled. And I clapped and smiled. And then, they did some more awards that weren't about sports. They called my name out and I was really surprised, so I jumped up and I remember I had this big smile on my face, because I was going to get an award. Me! I knew Maggie had got a couple before and I think Melody did too, but I could go back home and have one too and it could go next to there's on the trophy case. But when I got out of the assembly, a group of the children in my class started to make fun of me, because my award was for Perfect Attendance. They called me a "teacher's pet" and an "apple polisher", and then they took my award and they started to throw it around and made me try and get it back and when they finally dropped it and I got it they all walked off laughing. Still with the same look on his face, Leon realises the story has finished and glances over at the distressed Morgan. LEON So, somebody threw your award away again tonight. MORGAN Uh huh. LEON I see. You want to know what I think about that? Morgan looks up expectantly. Perhaps expecting some sympathy, or some comforting words. Instead, Leon stands up, takes Morgan's Angle Award... and STOMPS on it, bending and busting it even more. MORGAN With each stomp of the award Morgan cowers and she looks horrified at Leon. LEON You know what this award means? Nothing! It's just a chunk of cheap metal and wood. It doesn't mean a thing! It's worthless. Leon walks over and to further illustrate his point, he starts to stomp and kick at HIS Angle Award until it's busted too, before kicking them both away. LEON These awards mean nothing. The only thing attached to these awards is cold, empty, vain glory. The respect and admiration of people who do not matter. You think the people who voted for this thing care about you? That because they put a tick in your box, or a cross against your name, that that makes up for the contempt they show for your life the other 364 days of the year? Do you really care about what those people think about you? MORGAN ...no. LEON That's what I thought. You've already got the only thing that's worth having. The belt. Awards don't mean a thing. Being the champion does. I don't even have that, how do you think I feel!? MORGAN I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't think. As Morgan hangs her head, Leon rolls his eyes and sits back down. LEON It's okay. I forgive you. Morgan cuddles up to Leon, who continues to stare off again. LEON Tonight wasn't the night to be celebrating anyway. That day will come. Soon. THE VOICE Here to present the award for Superstar of the Year.....MOLLY NERDLY...and....KEVIN BACON! To nice applause the duo walk onto the award stage. MOLLY Kevin, do you mind if we play a game? KEVIN What game? MOLLY Six degrees of Kevin Bacon/ KEVIN Let's not and say we did. MOLLY I'm the quite superstar at the game, go on and ask my family members, they shall tell you of my prowess. KEVIN I bet they will. The award for superstar of the year goes to someone who exhibits talent that goes far beyond the normal man. MOLLY They are courageous, dignified, and possess a truly rare charisma. KEVIN And they kick a lot of ass. ~SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR~ Alfdogg Leon Rodez Krista Isadora Duncan Reject Christian Wright ~SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR~ MOLLY The winner is......for the second straight year....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! "YEAAAAAAAAAA!" KEVIN Unfortunately Krista could not be here tonight, accepting the award in her place are her daughters Maya Duncan-Blanchard and Jade Rodez-Duncan. JADE Hello, again, Oakland, from two Californians to another. If mom were here MAYA I'm sure she'd be looking down Molly's dress. Molly blushes. JADE Yes she would do that, but she'd also tell you how wonderful it is to repeat as superstar of the year. She'd tell you, that many times over her career in the OAOAST that she just wanted to quit for good. She thought no matter how hard she tried or how many wins she piled up, they'd never let her have a crack at the world title. They'd try to placate her with tag title shots. MAYA So it was a big deal for her when she won the world title this last year. She may have played it all cool and stuff, but she was thrilled to be champion, and thrilled that you all supported her. Winning her second superstar of the year award is icing on the cake. JADE We know that when she gets these two awards, she'll put them right up next to her star on the Walk Of Fame. Thanks, everybody! MAYA Ditto! Maya and Jade hug as the audience applauds and we.... FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
