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Patty O'Green

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 1/21/10

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-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-

-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-

-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

 

 

hd.jpg

 

We open with Maggie Nerdly, dressed in a black ruffled skirt and a Paramore t-shirt, standing in the center of the ring.

 

MAGGIE

What is up Winnipeg?!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

MAGGIE

Welcome to our house, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! the most kick ass show on TV!

 

"YEAAAAAAAAAA!"

 

MAGGIE

I don’t wanna waste anymore time, so lets get this party started!

 

Hey, hey, you, you

I don't like your girlfriend!

No way, no way!

I think you need a new one

Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Hey, hey, you, you!

I know that you like me!

No way, no way!

No, it's not a secret

Hey, hey, you, you!!

I want to be your girlfriend!

 

COLE

Here they come! Four time tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks!

 

COACH

Hide, man, hide!

 

COLE

What’s wrong with you?

 

COACH

If they can’t see us they can’t son us! Simple logic! You can’t son what you can’t see!

 

COLE

You won't be able to check out their asses if you hide.

 

COACH

Oh lord, why must you make me make such a sacrifice to! :(

 

As Coach goes into panic mode and begs to be spared both the potential danger and assured humiliation of having to interview the Chicks Over Dicks, said chicks over said appendages arrive through the entrance doors to a thunderous ovation! Krista wears jeans and a flannel shirt (flannel IS BACK!) while Alix wears heavily destroyed jeans and a Hollister green and white striped polo. Krista leads the way for Alix, who for no particular reason skips down the ramp, throwing flower petals from a basket out to the fans. The fans would much rather have money or maybe some Stridex pads thrown at them, but whatever. Krista is in no mood for playing around, although then again when is she, striding down the aisle and into the ring and calling for a microphone. Alix begins to do a lap of the ring meanwhile, realising she's run out of petals halfway around and simply throwing out waves and smiles to all!

 

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” the fans sing as they girls head into the ring.

 

MAGGIE

Krista, you’ve won two world titles, you’re a two time superstar of the year winner, and a four time tag team champion. What brings ya back to our joint?

 

KRISTA

Maggie, my dear sweet child, you act as if I have no reason to come back! Why sit around in a six million dollar home, overlooking the ocean, with its Olympic sized swimming pool, full chef staff, butlers, 73 inch televisions, private movie theatre, NBA sized basketball court in the basement, fighting pit where I can make my Honduran slaves fight for their freedom, why sit with all that when I can come here and mingle with people who in their words “prefer pepperoni dick pizza”

 

ALIX

Pepperoni dick pizza? A tasty treat only Christian Wright could enjoy? Or a metaphor for a higher plateau of Hindu spiritual being.

 

KRISTA

So in a nutshell, that’s why I came back so fast. And because Maya’s doing some experiment with stale sushi.

 

ALIX

And the whole first floor smells like Tony Tourettes arm pits! I heard his arm pit hair is a delicacy in, like, some South American country. True story, ask Rico, I bet he snacks on it.

 

MAGGIE

I gotta ask but how’s the arm?

 

KRISTA

As an upstanding celebrity figure with her own star on the walk of fame, I’m a little bit above name dropping. So I guess there’s no reason to tell you Hugh Heffner signed my cast. So I’ll just answer your question as plainly and as un-name dropping as I can. No need to mention that Charlie Sheen came over to my house to sign it. Or that after all my intense hours of physical therapy, Avril Lavigne signed it in the parking lot. Why even mention that Sandra Bullock signed it as well, that really has nothing to do with your great question, does it, honey?

 

MAGGIE

Um, are you worried about people attacking that arm?

 

KRISTA

Now, honey, why would I be worried about something like that. Terry Taylor said I have a bullseye on my arm, prompting Alix to retrieve her cross bow and hunt me down through the backyard. But that’s not terribly important, I got over being shot with a poison arrow fairly quickly. Its not any worry to this beautiful blonde hottie, because everyone knows if they touch my arm I will gouge out their eye balls and paint dots on the side and use them for dice on family game night.

 

ALIX

Whoo-hooo strip Yahzee!

 

KRISTA

Alix thinks every game is a stripping game. Which is more than fine with me, except when we’re playing go fish with my Grandparents. That gave a new meaning to the words “Deep sea diving”

 

MAGGIE

What’s up with you entering the Anderson Cup?

 

ALIX

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! I wanna answer! I wanna answer! After I left Krista handcuffed to the bed spread, and went off and popped some cheese popcorn and forgot about her as I watched America’s got talented, our therapist said our relationship can’t be all about meaningless kinky sex, we need to find things that we enjoy. We both enjoy running down members of the Christian Collation, or leaving flaming bags of poop on Rush Limbaugh’s door step, but those thing aren’t exactly legal! So, like, we also both enjoy sonning the entire OAOAST roster. Soooooooo, we figured there’s no better way to do that than the Anderson Cup. And, ya know what else? Its our first Anderson Cup ever! Ever! Wow! Can you believe that?

 

MAGGIE

It is, ain’t it?

 

ALIX

So it super important we win. We, like, already hold the record for tag title runs, but if we could win the Anderson Cup, we’d be the greatest team ever!

 

KRISTA

Better than the stripping doctors, and Landon’s sycophantic stalker and his incoherent psychotic fat ass lover? That’ll take some hard work!

 

ALIX

And Krista’s also super competitive. One time back when we playing soccer at UCLA. Some make a wish kid, got by her and scored a goal on me. And, well, like, I just don’t think that kid’s wish was to be chased around the field by a crazy college girl with huge boobs! Actually, seeing that she wasn’t wearing a bra maybe that WAS his wish!

 

MAGGIE

Let’s rap about the teams in the field. You guys think you’ll have any trouble with them?

 

KRISTA

Trouble, trouble, trouble! I love strip trouble!

 

KRISTA

Do you mean trouble, like trouble scraping James Blonde’s blood off my heels?

 

ALIX

Or trouble in properly inserting Logan’s head into Synth’s BUTT?

 

KRISTA

Or maybe trouble in locating all the teeth we kicked out Scottish Scott’s mouth?

 

ALIX

Or trouble after we cut Danny Boy’s brakes, and he dies in firery blaze~!

 

KRISTA

Yeah, and tro…wait, what? Cut the breaks?

 

ALIX

It’s a new gameplan, dude! I’m changing the script on these sucka ass looking suckas! Cutting their breaks, kindnapping their kids, firing shots at their baby mama’s. Real hardcore G shit for Glock Lesnar, pullin jack moves on Michelle Obama in broad daylight. Ya’ll niggas don’t want it with us. Anderson Cup too raw for ya’ll, and you know this, maaaaaaaaaaan.

 

MAGGIE

Chicks Over Dicks, ya’ll!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience screams, while Krista and Alix wave to them as though they were on a parade float.

 

COLE

More HeldDOWN after this!

 

TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT

LETHAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER

LEON RODEZ VS ???

THE MAINEVENT!

 

COMMERCIAL

 

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We return from break, hearing these familiar words...

 

Womaizer, womanizer, womanizer

 

Britney Spears’ Womanizer teams with a golden pyro shower to hearald the arrival of Mister Dick and Malaysia. The Human Hard On flexes his powerful muscles, as Malaysia, clad in a corset and bikini bottoms, massages his tightly built chest. He shoots a smirk into the camera, and then leads Malaysia to the ring.

 

BUFFER

The following is a LAST CHANCE MATCH, where the number one entry in the Lethal Rumble shall switch with the 30th entry should he win. Now making his way to the ring, representing the DEADLY ALLIANCE, accompanied by Malaysia Nerdly, he is the number one entrant to the Lethal Rumble, he weighes 238 pounds, and hails from San Antonio, Texas, he is The Human Hard On….MIIIIIISSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEER DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK

 

COLE

Mister Dick tried to put on a good face last week about being number one in the Lethal Rumble. But he wisely leaped at the opportunity to change his misfortune.

 

COACH

You can’t blame the cat, can ya? He’s almost gotta run a gauntlet of twenty nine other dudes to win. He’s coming up against Bohemoth, Tommy G, Cuban Wall. Big dudes like that! He needs a better draw.

 

Mister Dick dives into the ring, finding that special lady in the audience and dedicating his humping the canvas just to her.

 

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

 

(Jesus Walks)

God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down

(Jesus Walks with me)

The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now

(Jesus Walks)

And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs

(Jesus Walks with me)

I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long

 

In unison green and yellow lights descend upon the arena, joined b Kanye West’s Jesus Walks. A white mist settles over the colorful entrance stage. Entrance doors spread apart and through the mist come Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. CW wears black slacks, while Lorelei wears a beautiful blue sequined strapless dress. Together they hook arms, and proceed down the entrance ramp.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent! Hailing from Washington DC, he is accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo and weighes in at 8/13 bars of gold. He is the undefeated God Child….CHRIIIIIIIISTIIIIIAAAAAAAAN WRIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT!

 

“BOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Wright heads up the stage with a confident strut, bringing himself into the squared circle that’s dipped in green lights. He then leans over the ropes to discus strategy with Lorelei.

 

COLE

In Theodore Moneymaker’s absence due to a shoulder injury, The Enterprise has been rolling, Christian Wright is undefeated , and the LDC Moneygang are one and only world tag team champions. Maybe they’re better off without Moneymaker.

 

COACH

Don’t be speaking that blasphemy about Mister Moneymaker, fool.

 

DING DING DING

 

Mister Dick takes the early upperhand, firing off right hands at CW. The shots back The God Child into the corner, a perfect position for Mister Dick. He winds up, ready to hammer his foe in the face. But when CW slides out the way, Mister Dick’s fist catch nothing but thin air. He spins around to face Wright, but is brought down by a snapmare. A side headlock finds its way around his headlock, causing the Human Hard On great annoyance.

 

“Bravo! Bravo!” Lorelei applauds on the outside.

 

Mister Dick pushes to his feet, and begins shooting elbows into CW’s ribs. This bothers The God Child enough to release MD and throw him into the ropes. When Mister Dick returns, CW hooks onto his arm and throws him over with a sitout armdrag. Before MD can even think of escaping CW traps him inside an armbar. The Cocky Prick struggles against the grip of his foe, but has no luck in escaping.

 

COLE

Mister Dick has got to escape this hold.

 

COACH

And Mister Obvious strikes again with another gem of wisdom.

 

MD rolls forward and kips up, switching the painful armdrag into a more advantageous arm wrench. However, that hold doesn’t last for more than a few seconds before CW overturns the hold into another armbar. He then sweeps out MD’s long legs, driving him backwards into the canvas. Growing aggravated by the lack of movement by her man, Malaysia pounds her fists on the ring apron. This seems to inspire MD somewhat, and he begins kicking his knee back at CW. Enough of these shots cause the damage necessary to fight back to his feet. CW soon joins him, but is caught within a hammerlock by The Human Hard On.

 

COLE

Last week Mister Dick said he would win the rumble from the first entry. But he jumped at this contest, knowing how lucky the one with number 30 can be.

 

Mister Dick keeps his hold on Wright’s arm and rushes him into the nearest corner. Wright’s chest slams against the turnbuckle once more as MD uses the same attack . He then shoves CW to the ground, and switches into a grounded facelock. A smile spreads across his face, thinking he can gain a submission from the simple hold. But he can’t even get close to that goal as Wright reaches back and puts his foot on the ring ropes.

 

“Brilliant!” Lorelei exclaims as the referee forces MD to break his hold.

 

Back on their feet, the two ring warriors grab each other in a lockuop. They jostle for position with all their meet, fighting across the ring. Finally its CW who scores the upperhand by taking him down with a fireman’s carry. Mister Dick tries to make a quick return to his feet, but this only meets failure when The Centennial Man snatches him inside another armbar!

 

“CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” the sold out audience harps on The God Child.

 

Eyes narrowed, he barks back, “SILENCE”

 

His moment of preoccupation with the audience costs him somewhat, as The God Child is forced to his feet by Mister Dick. The Human Hard On then uses his free arm to crook around CW’s head. From there he sits out and nails CW with a stunner. Hurt by such a sudden attack, CW is forced to relinquish his old. He stumbles away, nursing his hurt jaw. Little reprieve comes to him as MD hooks an inverted facelock on his opponent.

 

“Give it to him, baby!” Malaysia encourages her man.

 

MD wrenches back on the hold, choking away at his trapped foe. Despite the harsh grip however, Wright begins throwing his knees against MD’s face. Unable to shield himself from these blows, Mister Dick is injured mightily and is forced to relinquish his hold. While he copes with his agony, CW rushes to the ropes. Bouncing back , he dodges a big boot from The Human Hard On. But Wright ducks beneath the attack and stands up behind the Texas A&M alum. From there he locks MD into a sleeper hold! Mister Dick immediately attempts to fight out the hold, but has no such luck as CW holds firm.

 

COLE

A sleeper hold! Its rare we see that move in the OAOAST, much less used to win a match.

 

COACH

Mister Dick has already fought Christian Wright on several occasions, Mikey. Sometimes you gotta switch your gameplan up.

 

Mister Dick uses his awesome strength to back CW into the turnbuckles. Despite hitting with booming force, Wright manages to maintain the precious hold. Not getting the hint, the handsome Texan tries the same technique. One more attempt encounters the same unfortunate fate.

 

COLE

Mister Dick is doing everything in his power to get out that sleeper hold.

 

COACH

It’d be a major setback to lose this early in the match, and still be stuck at number one in the lethal rumble.

 

With no other option besides submission, Mister Dick happily resorts to mule kicking CW in the netherregions. With Wright hobbled by the cheap tactic, MD is able to break free of the hold. Taunting CW, he grabs onto his crotch and spits in CW’s direction. Needless to say, The Gold Child is rather displeased with MD’s behavior. Thus he begins firing right jabs at MD’s face.

 

COACH

Finally we got a fight going!

 

The two men trade punches, neither one willing to give an inch to the other. But its MD who gains the advantage with a picturesque dropkick that causes Wright to become tangled inside the ropes. This leads MD to give him an enthusiastic crotch chop before heading to the ropes. He comes back at top speeds, but is flipped over with a snap powerslam by CW. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer counts the pinfall….

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Mister Dick lifts his shoulders off the canvas.

 

COLE

Close one there, and I think Mister Dick might have wasted some time by taunting CW.

 

The God Child lays his loafers into MD, not so subtle punishment for the earlier low blow. Upon completing his stomps, he drags MD upright and shoves him into the corner. There Wright stomps away at MD’s toned midsection. Mister Dick begins fighting back, however, throwing crosses across Wright’s head. The God Child quickly puts an end to MD’s flurry of offense with a lethal European uppercut.

 

COLE

Ain’t nobody in the OAOAST who throws those uppercuts like The Cenntinal Man.

 

Wright attempts an irish whip on Mister Dick, however the Texan reverses the hold and sends CW crashing into the corner. As The Gold Child slowly staggers away from the posts, Mister Dick takes a run of the ropes. As he bounces back, he raises his long right leg into the air and strikes CW in the back of the head with a Stiff Kick!

 

COLE

That is one of Mister Dick’s favorite move, that hard kick to an opponent’s head.

 

Mister Dick rolls CW onto his back for a pinfall….

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Kickout!

 

Frustration darts across CW’s face, as the disappointment of almost being defeated settles over him. He has little time lament his luck, as MD grabs him by the part of his hair and guides him upright. Now standing, CW is thrown under fire by punches that leave him wounded and dazed. MD leaves him staggering, and takes another run of the ropes. However, when he returns its to a recovered Wright. The God Child grabs onto his opponent’s waist and slams him into the canvas with a sidewalk slam!

 

Wright hooks the legs for a pivotal pinfall….

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Mister Dick lifts his shoulder off the mat at the last possible moment. He rolls over onto his stomach, looking worried and perturbed over this near loss.

 

COLE

That pin was so close to ending this match. And you can tell Mister Dick realizes that.

 

MD gets up under his own power, but is soon attacked by the European Uppercuts of The God Child. After several uppercuts scrape across MD’s broad chest, The Natural lifts him into a fireman’s carry.

 

COACH

The God Child goin’ for that Bank Roll!

 

However, Wright’s signature attack never comes to fruition as MD agilely shifts his body out of the hold. He gives CW little time to react, as he clamps his arms around his neck and brings him to the canvas with a rear naked choke.

 

COLE

I don’t know how Wright is going to survive this one!

 

Stuck in MD’s arms, Wright struggles with all his strength. His eyes flutter as he almost slips away into the blackness of unconsciousness.

 

COACH

Mikey, I think Mister Dick has got him!

 

Wright fights furiously to be free of the deadly hold. Mister Dick has to match Wright’s persistence with tactics of his own. As such he rolls himself and CW to the side. But this is a costly error, as it allows CW to reach out with his foot and touch the ropes. The referee calls for a clean break, which Mister Dick begrudgingly gives.

 

COLE

Coach, you were almost correct. I think with a few more seconds, Mister Dick would’ve submitted the undefeated Christian Wright.

 

Mister Dick grabs hold of Wright’s arm and uses it to pull him upright. He traps him inside a front facelock, and then hooks his arms around CW’s slacks. An attempt of a vertical suplex is made, but Wright blocks it by hooking his leg inside MD’s. Growing highly aggravated, MD attempts another suplex. But his efforts are waisted as Wright bridges back to pin him down with a Northern Lights suplex. Buzzlefoxer drops to the canvas to count the pinfall….

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Mister Dick rolls himself out the pin., and quickly scrambles upright. Now standing he greets CW’s ascension with a knee to the gut. This doubles over Wright, and allows MD to trap him inside a standing head scissors. He brings CW into the air for a powerbomb. However, his grip on The Cenntinal Man is weak, and Wright easily slides out the hold. Landing in front of MD, CW shoves him in his muscular chest. MD goes teetering backwards into the ropes. The ring cables quickly bounce him towards Wright, who grabs onto his arms with both hands and drags him down to the mat with the Wright Off As Lorelei applauds on the outside, Buzzlefoxer slides into position to count the pinfall….

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

A kickout by Mister Dick makes it Malaysia’s turn to applaud.

 

COLE

With so much at stake, Mister Dick can’t afford to let Wright hit his signature moves like the Wright Off.

 

Both competitors spring to their feet, and begin trading punches. Wright comes with speedy barrage of punches that cripple Mister Dick. Taking advantage of his foe’s weakness, Wright gathers him into a front facelock. His free hand gives the money fingers gesture, drawing numerous jeers from the audience. But his taunting comes with a price; Mister Dick busts free of his facelock. Without giving CW a chance to catch him, MD whirls around and snags his foe into a full nelson. From there he raises him into the air and then dives downwards to crush him with the Pure Penetration!

 

COLE

VINTAGE Mister Dick!

 

While Malaysia roars in sexual ecstasy, her man makes a pinfall attempt….

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Wright kicks out with mere seconds to spare. Mister Dick realizes how close he was to victory, and smashes his hands against the mat in rage. Once he suppresses his fury, he brings CW off the canvas to whip him into a corner. He charges in after The God Child, making him Bite his Shiny Metal Dick! Wright staggers from the corner, dazed from the attack. Pleased with himself, Mister Dick offer a crotch chop to both opponent and audience member alike.

 

“PENCIL DICK! PENCIL DICK! PENCIL DICK!”

 

Jawing back at the audience, Mister Dick climbs to the top rope. He smiles to himself, sensing that Wright’s unbeaten streak is near its end. He aims to bring that finale upon CW with a top rope lariat. But CW is well prepared for his foe, and twists The Human Hard On into a powerslam! Buzzlefoxer makes the count….

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

Mister Dick throws his shoulder off the canvas, earning boos from the OAOAST Galaxy.

 

Wright quickly gets to his feet, and waits for MD to do the same. Once The Human Hard On reaches his vertical base, Wright attempts to capture him inside a cobra clutch. Fearing submission, MD puts all his effort into fighting back. He’s rewarded when he’s able to drive CW backwards with a back suplex. He applies a bridge, and referee Buzzlefoxer makes the count…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

CW kicks out the pinfall which lets Lorelei breathe a little easier. He starts back to his feet, finding himself taking heavy fire from Mister Dick’s right hands. With CW left bone weary by the attacks, MD latches onto him and brings him onto his shoulders.

 

COLE

Going for the Cock Block!

 

Mister Dick attempts to throw CW forward , the snotty superstar slides free of his clutches. Deeply irritated by this escape, MD whirls around with a discus punch. But when he comes face to face with CW, The God Child grabs him inside a front facelock. The Human Hard On fights desperately for his freedom. But its effort gone to waste as Wright lifts him up, then throws him downwards with the Stockmarket Crash!

 

COACH

The American economy is in the dumps, and it looks like Jock’s chance of winning the rumble are in there to!

 

Wright hooks the legs for the pinfall….

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

DING DING DING

 

COLE

The Centennial Man pulls through with his twentieth straight victory, and holds onto his spot at number thirty in the Lethal Rumble.

 

BUFFER

Your winner as a result of a pinfall……CHRISTIAAAAAN WRIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTTTTTTTT!

 

“Jesus Walks” plays its familiar tune as The God Child exchanges celebratory kisses on the cheek. Wright then grabs a microphone and calls for silence.

 

WRIGHT

From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat!

 

While the crowd boos Wright’s proclamation, his foe begins stirring. He holds his head in hand, unable to fathom being stuck at entry number one in the Lethal Rumble.

 

COLE

Mister Dick now officially has the toughest road to Anglemania.

 

COMMERCIAL

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LAST WEEK

 

Pantera attempts a double underhook, but CMJ blocks it and goes under to hit a high-lifting GERMAN SUPLEX!

 

COACH

Irish Suplex!

 

The count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

CMJ immediately looks to clamp on THE BOSTON STRANGLER, but Pantera counters with a hammerlock and places CMJ in a FULL NELSON!

 

COLE

There it is, the full nelson!

 

COACH

And Pantera’s got it on good, Cole. CMJ needs to get out of this soon or it’ll be over in a hurry.

 

Reiger grabs the referee’s attention, but Strutter comes over and delivers a big roundhouse! As the official tries to retain order, Lorelei DeCenzo sneaks behind Pantera, only to be blindsided by…

 

…LINDSAY GONZALEZ!?!

 

LORELEI

:huh:

 

BITCHSLAP knocks Lorelei out of the ring.

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

LINDSAY

Surprise, bitch!

 

Lindsay dusts her hands as she exits.

 

COLE

Is Lindsay the Can-Am Assassins’ surprise?

 

COACH

I think that’s why she said, “surprise, bitch!”

 

With nobody around to help CMJ is forced to SUBMIT!

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

BUFFER

The winner of the match… KEN PANTERA!!

 

CMJ

:angry:

 

COLE

The Can-Am Assassins got the better of the LDC Moneygang tonight. Cab they do it again at Anglepalooza?

 

Up in the ring we find OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan.

 

BRANNIGAN

Two weeks from this Sunday live exclusively on pay-per-view my guests will challenge the LDC Moneygang for the One & Only World tag team championship at Anglepalooza. Accompanied by LINDSAY GONZALEZ, here are FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS!

 

“Tom Sawyer” by Rush hits and the reaction is mixed as the CAA and Lindsay join Brannigan in the ring.

 

BRANNIGAN

We’ve got a lot of topics to discuss, but let’s start with the most recent development and that’s your surprise association with Lindsay Gonzalez.

 

STRUTTER

Unlike Spencer Reiger and CMJ, we don’t need some broad to handle our business affairs, but we damn sure needed one crazy bitch to combat Lorelei DeCenzo since we can‘t lay a hand on her without facing major consequences. Just think about the men Lindsay’s hanged with in the past, Brannigan. We’re talking guys like Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Popick. You gotta be crazy tough to willingly associate with the likes of them.

 

BRANNIGAN

Speaking of laying hands on Lorelei DeCenzo, she claims you’re suffering from a chronic case of jungle fever!

 

STRUTTER

(laughs)

She’s got it wrong, Brannigan. Lorelei is the one who dreams about going after hours with Felix Strutter. But that little girl’s been passed around more times than rolls during Thanksgiving that I wouldn’t touch her to scratch her. She’s gotta be her doctor’s favorite patient.

 

BRANNIGAN

I’m sure those comments won’t sit well with Lorelei, just as I’m sure her comments this past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated probably didn’t sit too well with you, Lindsay Gonzalez. Before I get your response, let’s hear Lorelei’s comments again for people who may have missed it.

 

Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated

 

Lorelei’s promo where she claimed jealously is fueling Lindsay's alliance with the Can-Am Assassins. "Looks, money, talent. I got everything you don't. Something else you're not, the manager of the One & Only World tag team champions. And you never will be."

 

LINDSAY

Me jealous? Don’t flatter yourself, Lorelei, be concerned. Be concerned you might go home with permanent black and blue eye shadow if you try to interfere like you did at the New Year’s Spectacular.

 

STRUTTER

Kenny, my man, it looks like you got something to say. Do you?

 

PANTERA

Reiger, CMJ, we’re taking the belts home at Anglepalooza!

 

“Tom Sawyer” cues as Strutter plays to the crowd.

 

BRANNIGAN

The Can-Am Assassins are ready. Will they become the new One & Only World tag team champions? Only way to find out is by ordering Anglepalooza live exclusively on pay-per-view! Let's head to commercial!

COMING UP NEXT

ANDERSON CUP FIRST ROUND ACTION

JUMBO AND DEUCE VS LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND

NEXT!

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We return from break and “Mother” by Danzig cues as Queen Esther leads the Last Kings of Scotland ringside.

 

BUFFER

The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a first round Anderson Cup bout! Introducing first, the #6 team in the tournament, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER! From Glasgow, Scotland, total combine weight 475 pounds, Europe’s finest athletes… “THE CELTIC THUNDER” DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Here we go with our second to last first round Anderson Cup bout, the winner to meet COD in the semifinals.

 

“Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody” plays Deuce and Jumbo to the ring.

 

PENZER

And their opponents, ranked #3 in the Anderson Cup… total combine weight 830 pounds… from Las Vegas, Nevada… DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! His tag team partner, from Chicago, Illinois... JUMMMMMMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

Danny Boy and Deuce circle around before locking up, and Danny immediately rakes the eyes! He hammers away on the Flaming Gigolo and then attempts an Irish whip, but Deuce puts on the breaks and executes a MILITARY PRESS SLAM!

 

QUEEN ESTHER

:o

 

Scottish Scott enters and suffers the same fate. Deuce clotheslines him outside and then levels Danny with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK!

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Deuce rams Danny into the big boot of Jumbo, who receives the tag and proceeds to drive his shoulder into Danny’s midsection again and again.

 

COACH

Come on, referee! Jumbo’s gotta let him out of the corner.

 

Jumbo does alright, although Danny wishes he hadn’t as he’s splashed in the opposite corner! Danny falls back smack in the middle of the ring, prompting Jumbo‘s eyes to light up.

 

COACH

Oh no, not the XL Splash.

 

COLE

This is gonna be the shortest match in Anderson Cup history.

 

Fortunately for Danny, Scott climbs in and pulls him to safety.

 

COACH

Scottish Scott saved his team from elimination.

 

COLE

At least for now.

 

The Last Kings regroup and Scottish Scott tags in. He and Jumbo lockup and Scott lands a knee to the gut, then repeatedly clubs Jumbo across the back. Jumbo reverses a whip and drills Scott with a BIG BOOT. Again he goes for the XL Splash, but nobody’s home as Scott moves. Scott baits Deuce inside and the Last Kings pummel Jumbo with rapid-fire double axe handle smashes ala Demolition.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Danny exits to Esther’s applause and receives the tag. Up top he goes, only to be caught in a BEARHUG on the way down! Danny quickly thumbs the eye and attempts a PUMPHANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM. Needless to say, Danny can’t even get the big guy inches off the ground. Jumbo counters with a hip block and tags Deuce.

 

COLE

Well, that was foolish.

 

COACH

You gotta give Danny Boy an A for effort, though.

 

Falcon Arrow plants Danny mid-ring, and then Deuce signals for THE FLYING HEADBUTT, prompting Queen Esther to rush over to the corner.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Excuse me? Excuse me, kind sir? Could you please not dive off the top?

 

Intentional or not, Esther distracts Deuce long enough for him to be hit by a dropkick and fall to the floor.

 

COLE

Oh, come on.

 

COACH

Come on, what?

 

COLE

You don’t think Queen Esther distracted Deuce on purpose?

 

COACH

I have no doubt she wanted to spare her man pain, but not inflict any on Deuce. It’s not her fault he didn’t keep an eye out on his opponent.

 

The referee keeps Danny at bay while Scottish Scott works over Deuce outside.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Scott rolls Deuce back in and the Last Kings tag. Scott stomps the tattooed head of Deuce and then drops down to choke him!

 

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FI--

 

Scott waits till the very end to break. Quick tag ensues and Danny Boy performs a springboard cross body splash!

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

We get another quick tag after Danny rams Deuce into the knee of Scott. Scott whips Deuce into the ropes and connects with a clubbing clothesline.

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Scott sets Deuce for a piledriver, but Deuce counters with a backdrop, rolls under a clothesline, decks Danny and drills Scott with a dropkick!

 

COLE

The Flaming Gigolo on fire.

 

Jumbo tags in and delivers THE XL SPLASH~!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

But first the referee orders Deuce out of the ring, allowing Danny to dive off the top rope to drill Jumbo with the HANDLE of Scott’s SPIKED CLUB!!

 

COLE

Damn him!

 

Danny places Scott on top and exits.

 

The count.

 

DEUCE

:huh:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!!!

 

The bell sounds as Deuce is late breaking up the pin.

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the semifinals… DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The Queen celebrates with her men.

 

COLE

The Last Kings of Scotland steal the victory, which means they’ll face COD in the semi-finals, Coach.

 

COACH

No doubt they’ll be the heavy underdogs, just as they were tonight. But Scottish Scott and Danny Boy showed they’ll do anything to win. COD better not take them lightly or they won’t make it to the finals.

 

COLE

Our final first round bout next week will see the Heavenly Rockers take on Citizen Soldiers.

 

COACH

The Heavenly Rockers said it would be a piece of cake and I’m not one to doubt them.

 

COLE

Stay with us, folks. HeldDOWN~! continues after this.

 

COMMERCIAL

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We go to Josie’s office, were the HeldDOWN bench boss is furiously typing away at her computer. Her moment of word processing comes to an end when Lindsay Gonzalez enters the room with Ken Pantera at her side.

 

JOSIE (to Josie)

You got it!

 

LINDSAY

Got what?

 

JOSIE

What you came in here for.

 

Lindsay puts her hands on her hips and crooks her head sideways.

 

LINDSAY

And what did I come in here for?

 

JOSIE

A women’s title shot at Anglepalooza. Its all your’s. It was your’s before you even woke up this morning. I need someone like you. You’re a very valuable asset.

 

LINDSAY

Oh, I agree whole-heartedly! Its taken people too long to realize my skills go beyond mere beauty. Not to sound conceited, but I’m the ideal 21st century woman.

 

JOSIE

I’ve been waiting for a person like you to come along. Holly is too wild, too finicky, too rebellious for the job. That’s why she failed time and time again with Morgan. That’s why I was left with my head in my hands. You’re different.

 

LINDSAY

I’m smart. Much, much, smarter.

 

JOSIE

Yes you are. You’re a thinking woman; you’re a woman with a plan.

 

LINDSAY

My plan is to take the women’s title off Morgan, and be the top female superstar in not just this company, not just this country, but in the entire world!

 

JOSIE

That’s a plan I can get behind.

 

COMING UP NEXT

ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER

LEON RODEZ VS ???

THE MAINEVENT IS NEXT!

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"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long

Just tryin' to find my way back home

But the old me's dead and gone

Dead and gone

And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long

Just tryin' to find my way back home

But the old me's dead and gone

Dead and gone, dead and gone..."

 

The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, creating a dark mood over the arena. Boos ring out as Leon Rodez skulks through the entrance way. Head down, a scowl on his face, Leon stops on the stage for a second as he glances up from his sorrowful state to look at the crowd. The sea of down-turned thumbs and up-turned middle fingers that greet him only make Leon look even more disgusted.

 

COLE

Another frosty welcome for 2009's most hated OAOAST personality.

 

Followed out timidly by Morgan Nerdly, Leon and his lone friend in life slowly make their way down the aisle as the song meanders along. Coming to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Leon then looks up, Morgan falling to a knee beside him, as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static.

 

"I'VE BECOME SO NUMB

I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE

BECOME SO TIRED

SO MUCH MORE AWARE!

I'M BECOMING THIS

ALL I WANT TO DO

IS BE MORE LIKE ME

AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!"

 

Leon shakes his head as he moves on to ringside, climbing up the ring steps and entering the ring.

 

BUFFER

The following contest is a Lethal Rumble Qualifying Match, set for one fall. Introducing first. Accompanied to the ring by the OAOAST Women's Champion, MORGAN NERDLY! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... he weighs two hundred, eighteen pounds... "THE FALLEN IDOL" of the OAOAST... LLLEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COLE

Tonight is do or die for Leon Rodez. For months he has moaned and complained, campaigning for another shot at the OAOAST World Championship and finally a concession has been made by Josie Baker. He can enter the Lethal Rumble at Anglepalooza, with the chance at a World Title shot at AngleMania on the line for the winner... if he can win this qualifying match here tonight. And we still don't know who Leon's opponent is actually going to be tonight.

 

COACH

That's a hell of a 'concession'. Another one of these 'surprises', like last week, when James Blonde and Faqu weren't allowed to know their opponents. Which was funny since it ended up being Chicks Over Dicks. Who hate Leon. Favouritism much? Women ganging up on guys? Reverse sexism? Yeah, all of that goin' on up in here.

 

Standing in the middle of the ring Leon looks around the sold-out crowd in Winnipeg, scowl etched on his face as they continue to give him a hard time. Morgan stands sadly by the ropes.

 

BUFFER

And introducing, his opponent.

 

 

 

"Come on God, Answer Me.

For Years, I've Been Asking You Why?

Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive?

Where is Justice? Where is Punishment?

. . . . . . . . . . .

Or Have You Already Answered?

Have You Already Said to the World,

Here is Justice. Here is Punishment.

Here....

In Me."

 

Rolling his eyes, Leon shakes his head and lets out a frustrated curse as "Punishment" by Biohazard powers out. Brock Ausstin walks out and breaks out his HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! before heading to the ring.

 

COLE

I get the feeling, this isn't what Leon was hoping for.

 

BUFFER

From Victoria, Minnesota... weighing in at two hundred, ninety pounds... BBRRRRRRRROOOOOOOCCKK... AAAAAAUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINN!!!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Leon leaves the ring long before Brock has reached the end of the aisle. Brock smirks through the ropes at him as he leaps onto the apron, jerking back on the top rope and causing pyro to burst out of all four ring posts. This scares the jittery Morgan, who clings onto Leon for safety, Rodez not bothering to so much as glance down at his fearful friend as he stares into the ring.

 

COLE

And AnglePalooza must suddenly seem a bit further away for Leon Rodez now. Brock Ausstin, a former Heartland Champion and a man with Lethal Rumble pedigree. He's competed in the last seven Rumbles and reached the final five in both 2004 and 2006. How he'd love to be in the field of 30 again this year.

 

COACH

I'm telling you, some serious favouritism going on!

 

Frustrated, Leon starts to walk around the ring, with Morgan following dutifully behind him. Leon manages to shrug his shadow off once he rolls into the ring, eyeing Brock up carefully from his corner.

 

COLE

Josie Baker certainly not making things easy on Leon Rodez. Remember, the winner of this match qualifies for next Sunday's Lethal Rumble Match. The loser is out of the running and out of luck as it pertains to main eventing AngleMania in Las Vegas.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING*

 

Even though the bell has rung, Leon is in no rush to start the match. Infact he even contemplates leaving and just calling it quits, but realises what that would mean for his Rumble chances.

 

"LE - ON SUCKS!"

"LE - ON SUCKS!"

"LE - ON SUCKS!"

"LE - ON SUCKS!"

 

Cursing under his breath again Leon finally comes in from between the ropes and gets on with the match, walking right into some right hands from Brock Ausstin! Brock hammers away on Leon, then throws him into the ropes. A big back elbow knocks Leon down on the rebound and that's all Leon can stand, rolling out of the ring and throwing his hands up.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

You can tell, Leon wants absolutely no part of Brock Ausstin!

 

Before he can think about leaving, Brock follows Rodez outside and grabs him from behind, throwing him into the guardrail stomach first! Rodez hangs over the barrier groaning in pain and gets pulled back in by Brock, nailed with another big right hand.

 

COLE

Leon isn't having much say in the matter right now though.

 

Rodez gets thrown back in, but recovers and drops a knee on Brock as he attempts to slide in after.

 

COACH

Ooh. There ya go!

 

Stomping down on the back of Brock's neck, Leon takes his frustrations out on his opponent before rounding on the referee for issuing a count to him. Leon glares a hole through the referee's chest, then goes back after Brock. The bigman is up though and grabs hold of Leon by the throat, turning and throwing him high into the corner by the neck, then unloading with another succession of big right hands!!

 

"YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

 

Brock whips Rodez across the ring into the opposite corner, then comes charging... but runs right into a boot! With Brock dazed, Leon goes to the middle rope. And he leaps, right into a POWERSLAM by Brock!!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

Great counter move by Brock and a two count, almost taking Leon Rodez out of the running for the 2010 Lethal Rumble right there and then.

 

COACH

This is so unfair Michael. This is a professional sport. A professional company. You can't force somebody to go into a match without time to prepare for an opponent, without any idea of who they're facing! Josie Baker's taking liberties and I don't like it one bit.

 

Brock hammers away on Rodez some more, then hits the ropes, looking for a big knockout right. Leon manages to duck though and leaps up onto the broad shoulders of Ausstin, clinging on with a sleeper hold!

 

COLE

Sleeper! Leon trying to choke out the bigman, trying to put him to sleep!

 

Before too much damage can be done, Brock backs up and rams Leon back into the turnbuckles, weakening up the hold. Leon clings on desperately, trying to synch the sleeper back in. A second ram into the corner is enough to break the hold though. Shaking it off, Brock blocks a right hand from Leon, nailing him with one of his own. Leon falls back into the corner, but kicks up and catches Brock in the jaw with his boot again. Off the ropes Leon tries to capitalise while Brock is stunned. But he runs right into a powerful GORILLA PRESS from the VANILLA GORILLA!

 

COACH

AAH!

 

Brock holds Leon overhead with the crowd roaring their approval. Picking his spot, he walks over to the ropes...

 

COLE

LOOK OUT!

 

...AND DUMPS LEON OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!!!

 

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Left in a heap on the arena floor Leon is checked on by a horrified Morgan, while Brock stands tall in the ring, cheered on by the fans.

 

COLE

Could that have been a message from the monster from Minnesota? Leon Rodez, dumped over the top rope with frightening ease! The former World Champion's Lethal Rumble hopes hang in the balance, can he recover, or will Brock Ausstin be heading to New York City next Sunday? We'll find out when we come back!

 

 

*COMMERCIAL BREAK*

 

 

Coming back from the commercials, we find the action transplanted back inside the ring, where Leon is trying to get some offence going on Brock. Landing with some right hands, he turns and hits the ropes, only to be blasted off his feet with a big shoulder knockdown.

 

COLE

Welcome back to HeldDOWN and during the break, it has been all Brock Ausstin here in this Lethal Rumble Qualifying Match. And all thanks to what we saw before we left, when Brock picked up Rodez over his head and threw him clean over the top rope, out onto the floor below. If this had been the Lethal Rumble Match, Leon would be done already.

 

COACH

But it's not the Lethal Rumble Match.

 

COLE

No, it's not. But Leon might not even make it to the Rumble if this continues.

 

Backed into a corner, Leon is nailed with some more right hands, Brock completely dominating at this point. Whipping Leon across the ring, the Victoria native makes a mistake though, missing with a charge into the corner and throwing him chest first into the turnbuckles. As Brock turns around, Leon lies in wait and connects with a dropkick.

 

COACH

There we go. That'll get Leon back in this thing.

 

Cover by Leon...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No.

 

Leon stomps away on Brock before placing his foot on the throat and choking away with the ropes gripped for leverage.

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FI..."

 

Breaking before the five count Leon scowls at the referee again, stalking around Brock. Picking up the legs, Leon spreads them apart and delivers an elbow drop. Which seems innoccuous enough, except for the loud yell that Brock lets out as he clutches his groin.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Now that looked like a questionable move to me. Referee didn't get a good view of that, but I think it's pretty clear where Brock felt that elbow land.

 

COACH

It was aimed at the thigh. Chill out.

 

After a warning from the referee, Leon slowly picks Brock back up. Delivering a couple of forearms, Leon whips Brock across and into the turnbuckles. Rodez lines Ausstin up, then comes charging in with a double knee attack to the chest. Boos greet that move and greet Leon's attempts to do it again, backing away from Brock with evil intentions in his eyes. A second double knee attack follows. But this time, Leon doesn't come back down. And Brock walks out of the corner, CARRYING Leon in his arms!

 

COLE

Oh my, Leon got caught!

 

Brock sets and attempts to throw Leon over his head, only for Leon to counter with a sunset flip!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No!

 

Rolling back, Leon manages to beat Brock back up and boots him in the side of the head while he's on one knee.

 

"LE - ON SUCKS!"

"LE - ON SUCKS!"

"LE - ON SUCKS!"

"LE - ON SUCKS!"

 

Not letting the abuse distract him Leon goes to work on Brock, which only makes the chanting louder as the Winnipeg crowd try their best to get under The Fallen Idol's skin. Kicks and punches rain in on Brock. Brock gets back up though, shoving Leon away from him to try and grab a breath. Leon is right back on him with some more shots though, clubbing away.

 

COLE

Leon relentless here, trying to overwhelm his much larger opponent. He knows he can't give Brock a second to breath here.

 

COACH

I don't think it's got anything to do with Brock. I think Leon would be like this against whoever he was facing. This is desperation. Josie Baker's backed him up against a wall and he's trying to scratch and claw his way out of it and back to the top where he thinks he belongs.

 

With Brock dazed, Leon takes him and throws his head into the top turnbuckle. Leon chokes Brock against the rope, until the referee moves in to back Leon off. While the referee is caught up talking to Rodez, suddenly Morgan Nerdly starts to creep into view, beginning to make a move towards Brock. Seemingly unsure even herself of what she's doing, before Morgan gets to Brock, he has stumbled out of the corner and away and she starts to tug on her hair.

 

COLE

It doesn't pay to take your eyes off that girl, even for a second.

 

Brock walks into some right hands from Leon. Whipped into the corner again, Brock hits the turnbuckles hard and staggers out. Waiting, Leon catches Brock, looking for an Exploder... but can't get the 290 pounder over. He tries again, with no luck. Before Brock suddenly ducks behind and APPLIES THE KATAHAJIME!!!!!!

 

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COACH

NO!

 

COLE

BROCK'S GOT HIM! BROCK'S GONNA CHOKE HIM OUT!!

 

COACH

NO!

 

Eyes wide in fear, Leon claws out, looking for anything he can to escape the choke. His hand eventually grabs onto the referee's shirt. The ensuing struggle allows Leon to pull the ref in close, then RAISE HIS LEG WITH A LOWBLOW ON BROCK!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

 

COLE

OH, LOWBLOW! And that one was BLATANT!

 

With Brock doubled over, a hacking Leon turns around and hits a DDT, with the referee none the wiser. He turns Brock over and hooks the leg, making the cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!!

 

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Kickout! Brock is still in this one!

 

Leon gives the referee another death-glare and gets to his feet. Nursing his nether regions, Brock tries to get up, but has trouble doing so. As he reaches one knee on the way up Brock is then hit with a Sliding Clothesline as Leon comes charging back off the ropes! Another cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout again!

 

COLE

You can talk about Leon's obsession with the World Heavyweight Title all you want. But guaranteed, Brock Ausstin wants to be in that Lethal Rumble just as badly as Leon does.

 

COACH

I dunno. I think Leon is capable of just about anything when it comes to regaining the World Title. He's a desperate man, Michael. The most desperate of men.

 

Encouraging Brock to get back up, Leon is poised, waiting. Brock gets back to one knee again, still clearly hurting. This time Leon doesn't make any move, except hopping back and forth, waiting for Brock to turn his way, before he unleashes with the ONE HIT KIL...

 

 

 

...NO! Brock ducks the sobat to the face and catches an off balance Rodez, picking him up on his shoulder, looking for the F-STUNNER-5...

 

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

HERE IT COMES! HERE COMES THE PUNISHMENT!

 

 

Leon starts throwing elbows though, catching Brock in the side of the head repeatedly, until Brock is forced to put the former World Champion down. Once his feet hit the mat and the relief wears off, Leon goes right to the EYES with a cruel rake. Leon then hits the ropes, but runs right into a bearhug by Brock and gets thrown with an Overhead Belly To Belly!!

 

COLE

Brock just hurled him! Cover Brock!

 

Brock does make the cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Brock picks Leon back up and executes a Fisherman's Suplex this time...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Picked up again, Leon is grabbed in a waistlock, ready for a German Suplex in his tour of throws. Leon manages to grab onto the top rope though, blocking the suplex. Brock quickly gives up the waistlock, clobbering Rodez across the back instead. As Leon falls back off the ropes, Brock then delivers a boot to the gut and hoists him back up, looking for the F-Stunner-5 again!

 

COLE

Here we go! Going for it agai... no!

 

Rodez escapes, slipping free down the back. Slipping further out of Brock's clutches Leon then slides out of the ring, taking a powder.

 

COLE

And now outside goes Leon, trying to get away from this onslaught from Ausstin.

 

Brock is in hot pursuit though, going right out after Rodez. Suddenly picking up some urgency Leon takes off around the ring, drawing Brock into a game of cat and mouse. Leon manages to get away, sliding back into the ring. Close behind him is Brock. But as he climbs to the apron, Morgan Nerdly's presence is felt again. Literally this time, as she grabs onto Brock's ankle for a second to distract him! Morgan looks instantly remorseful, as if she surprised herself by what she did. Her interference proves valuable though as the referee leans over the ropes to warn her for her actions, allowing Leon to capitalise, KICKING THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH BROCK HALFWAY IN!!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

Hey, wait a minute! Did you see that!?

 

COACH

What? I was watching Morgan.

 

COLE

Rodez just kicked the ropes low on Brock!

 

Surprised by another shot at his groin, Brock is re-positioned by Leon, caught in the ropes. Hooking on a front facelock Leon drags Brock inside, leaving his ankles hanging across the middle ring rope as he delivers the DOWNFALL DDT, dropping Brock face-first into the mat!

 

COLE

Again the referee didn't see the lowblow! And now, Brock is in trouble, Rodez is set, look at that look on his face!

 

With Brock shaken up, Leon waits for him to pick himself back up... before dishing out the ONE HIT KILL, blasting Brock right in the face with the rolling sobat!!!!

 

COLE

One Hit Kill! Not like this though, you've gotta be kidding!

 

COACH

You've got to tak justice, any way you can get it.

 

Cover by Leon...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COLE

And the lethal kick is going to take Leon Rodez to the Lethal Rumble!

 

 

*DINGDINGDING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and entering the 2010 Lethal Rumble Match... LLLLLEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

With a look of relief on his face, Leon rolls over to the ropes and slumps over them with a determined snarl on his face. He shrugs away the referee's attempts to raise his hand in victory, rolling out of the ring. Beckoning over Morgan, he takes a shell-shocked and wraps her in a hug, which judging from the looks on both's faces is a pretty cold gesture on both sides.

 

COLE

Yeah, Leon had ought to thank Morgan, because she was the difference here tonight. The difference between Leon being left out in the cold and now, qualifying to be one of the 30 men in this year's Lethal Rumble Match, with a shot at the World Championship at AngleMania still in Leon Rodez's sights.

 

Leon breaks the hug and leads Morgan, still looking somewhat conflicted about her actions, up the aisle. Not celebrating, Leon instead looks vindicated, as he leaves with his victory.

 

COLE

Leon Rodez, one of the field of 30, next Sunday night at AnglePalooza. And with the OAOAST getting themselves into an Empire State Of Mind... God only knows what kind of state of mind Morgan Nerdly and Leon Rodez are in.

 

Looking out at the crowd, Leon defiantly raises one finger in a sign of victory, a crazed look in his eyes as HeldDOWN fades away to black.

 

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