Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2010 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We come to the OAOAST Arena We cut to Sofa Central which is decorated with Anglemania paraphernalia such as banners, life size stand ups of Reject and Mister Dick, and of course bobble heads of OAOAST legends. Sitting in the comfy leather sofa, wearing Anglemania baseball jerseys, are Michael Cole and Da Coach! COLE The road to Anglemania is ON FIRE as the King of The Ring qualifying matches continue with some of the OAOAST's biggest names! TONIGHT KING OF THE RING QUALIFIERS LANDON MADDIX Vs BIFF ATLAS THE UNDEFEATED CHRISTIAN WRIGHT Vs JUMBO TONIGHT! COACH That ain't all that's goin' down tonight. We got an interview with Anderson Cup finalists Chicks Over Dicks and Lethal Rumble winner Mister Dick will test himself against Ned Blanchard. COLE But first we start with Tha Puerto Rican! PRL promo Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2010 COLE Ladies and gentlemen, earlier today an incident took place between Chicks Over Dicks and the manager of their Anderson Cup Finals opponents, Abdullah Nerdly, when the Colonel interrupted a demonstration of Krista’s “Fit with Kid” videogame for the Wii system. Footage courtesy: Molly Nerdly KRISTA And so you see not only is this exercise great for the calves, it also helps sculpt the interior postoid, which is a muscle group I just made up to see if you're paying attention to anything besides my ass. Lost in a trance, Alix stares lustfully at Krista’s BUTT as the fitness guru showcases an array of moves on her Wii fit board. MOLLY (O.S) Oh no. Why oh why must this happen? KRISTA To everyone’s surprise, COLONEL ABDULLAH NERDLY walks onto the set wearing his custom Arabic headdress cowboy hat. ALIX Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Wilmer Valderrama! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! KRISTA You must forgive, Alix. She thought my mother was Barbara Streisand the first time they met. ALIX At least I didn’t wet my pants this time. The doctor told me I might have an enlarged prostate until he found out I was a chick. ABDULLAH In the words of the great American philosopher Chad Ochocinco, “Child, please.” I am not some B-list celebrity, but rather one of the most renowned spiritual leaders and promoter of the only rock ‘n’ wrestling band that matters, Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. And I’m here on behalf of the 2010 Anderson Cup winners… the Heavenly Rockers! ALIX Wait a sec, dude. First, the Anderson Cup Finals haven’t happened yet. Secondly, me and Krista are gonna win it. And third worldly, I’m starting to believe you are who you say you are -- and it’s certainly not a superstar like Wilmer Valderrama because unlike you he’s a ginormous COD fan. ABDULLAH Finally your pea sized brain gets it. As I said, I’m here on behalf of the Heavenly Rockers to issue you and Krista a warning. Synth and Logan are on a mission to regain what they last held 2 years ago, the One & Only World tag team championship. In fact, the last time they won the titles it was at COD’s expense. KRISTA Yawn. Ancient history. Our president was still white, I still hated Ned, Maya was only 5 and I had one less daughter. * cheers and applause * ABDULLAH Listen, Rosie… KRISTA ALIX Oh, no, you didn’t. Oh, no! KRISTA In the interest of improving Jew/Muslim relations I'm gonna give you one more chance to not get scorched off this earth. What did you call me? ABDULLAH Rosie! ALIX Peace talks have broken down! Israeli forces launch their deadliest attack on record! Krista places the Colonel in a TESTICULAR CLAW~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" ABDULLAH KRISTA No, you listen, Fez. I want you to take this message back to your boys. *squeezes tighter * Heaven doesn’t want us and hell’s afraid we’d take over. You got it? ALIX And we’re outta time! Until next week, bye! COD wave to the camera as Krista maintains the claw on Abdullah. LATER TONIGHT LETHAL REVENGE MISTER DICK Vs NED BLANCHARD TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2010 MIND BODY SOUL DESTROYED DESTROY MORGAN NERDLY MIND BODY SOUL COLE There's that message again! Is someone targeting Morgan? COACH No, they want to invite her over for tea and crumpets. Of course someone is targeting her, dumbass, it says "Destroy Morgan"! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2010 We switch from ringside to the locker room area where Josh Matthews stands with Lindsay Gonzalez and her two intimidating clients. JOSH I’m backstage in the CAN-AM Assassins locker room with Lindsay Gonzalez and of course Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera. Lindsay, most people seem to think you’re behind the “Destroy Morgan” Messages. Any truth to that? LINDSAY One thing I don’t need in life is help. I don’t stand around with my hand out, begging for someone to lend me some assistance. I’m not the kind of girl that can’t get by without someone holding her hand through every aspect of life. I am an independent woman. I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t, do you know what that means? It means I get things done on my own. Isn’t that right, boys? Felix and Ken nod. LINDSAY That why I don’t need to play video tricks,or harass the production crew into sending out threats to Morgan Nerdly. I don’t need anyone to make my point for me, or perform my actions on my behalf. I can do bad all by myself, and I will do bad all by myself. Who’s ever responsible for the “Destroy Morgan” messages, I’ll show you love for going after what you want. But what you want is what I want, and we both can’t want the same thing. Why? Because you’ll never get it. I always get mine, money, boys, clothes and toys, everything eventually becomes mine. Right boys? Felix and Ken nod once again. LINDSAY Someone wants to destroy Morgan? Then I would tell them to get to the back of the line, because Morgan is all mine. And so is the women’s title. And I hope whoever is behind the Destroy Morgan messages is aware of that, otherwise (Lindsay points to Felix and Ken) they’re in deep trouble. JOSH Thank you very much for your time. OAOAST Marks, don't miss out on the Nerdly Spectacular where Lindsay will team with Lorelei DeCenzo, Queen Esther, and Holly to face a Nerdly all star team of Morgan, Maggie, Melody and Molly in an evening gown pillow fight. Only on TSM and The Pit! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2010 The interview lounge is once again our setting as Terry stands with Alix Maria Spezia, and a very happy Krista Isadora Duncan. Why is she so happy? Because drinks are on the house in the interview lounge! TERRY Hello, OAOAST Marks! Its Terry Taylor standing backstage with one half of the Anderson Cup finalist, Chicks Over Dicks. Girls, you’re gunning for your first ever Anderson Cup. What makes you think you’ll be able to beat former Anderson Cup winners The Heavenly Rockers? KRISTA Terry, my dear sweet bundle of love, there’s something about us Jews that makes us special. ALIX Your impossibly big noses? KRISTA Yeah, I guess there’s that. ALIX You make overbearing, hard to please, and generally a major nuisance mothers? KRISTA Yeah, that to. ALIX Your men all have goofy white-man afros? KRISTA Yeah, some of them do. ALIX You’re cheap? KRISTA I guess that’s another one. ALIX You really like- KRISTA Okay, Himler, I think we got it, now back to the third reich you go! Terry, we Jews are greedy. And this little slice of Scandinavian Jewish heaven is so greedy I could make Scrooge McDuck look like philanthropist of the year. ALIX Race, cars, lasers, airplanes, its on Ducktales! Might solve a mystery or rewrite history! Ducktales! KRISTA I just want every single little piece of magic and wonder the world has got! I wanted a Lamborghini, I cried until dad got me one. I wanted a luxury yacht, I got it. ALIX You wanted Theodore Moneymaker’s imminent death. KRISTA As soon as the check for the Hit-man clears. I wanted a hot Latina Girlfriend? I got a nightmarish hell that I must endure for the rest of my cursed and doomed existence. I wanted to grab Beyonce’s ass, and I did it on New Years, and if Jay-Z has a problem with I’ll knock his camel-looking ass out of hip-hop straight into Bal-Musete. It’s a a style of French music and dance which arose in 1880s Paris especially the 5th, 11th, and 12th districts. ALIX The Hebrew Hammer stay droppin’ knowledge on these thirsty ass niggas, to raw to real, shit that keep your third eye potent. KRISTA And now, I’m kinda hungry for a little Anderson. And I’m not talking about Megan Anderson, the junior I went down on behind the bleachers after a soccer game sophmore year. I’m simply talking about the Anderson Cup. Terry, you know my house- TERRY How could I not, my cage is in the basement. ALIX Ooooh crap! I forgot to tell Rosa to change your paper and refill your water dish. KRISTA Well, Terry if you weren’t caged up or only brought out to perform sea-lion like tricks at parties, you’d know that my house is a gorgeous treasure trove of trophies. You have my walk of fame plaque, Alix’s all American awards from soccer at UCLA, Maya’s student athlete of the year awards from middle school, and Jade’s umm….well we had to make up a few awards like "Toothbrusher of the year" "Spic and span award for cleanest nightstand" for her because she’s not all that great at things. JADE (OS) Thanks mom! Really appreciate that! KRISTA I know you do, honey, and that’s what makes it wonderful. But as I was saying the Anderson Cup would make a great addition to the trophy case right next to my Hooters rack of the year award, and Alix’s GLAAD easiest lesbian to get out her clothes. ALIX If I don't go down on you within 30 seconds of the date, your pizza is free! KRISTA And furthermore we are four time tag team champions of the whole wide disgusting, cruel, miserable blue and green rock we live in. But we have never, ever in our lives had the honor of hositing up the trophy named after an old guy I’ve never heard of. As teams like The Moneygang, Team Heyross, and The Last Kings of Scotland get better by the day, its important to remind people that Alix and I have the cutest asses in the company, and that we are the best tag team the OAOAST has ever seen. As said by none other than Tony Brannigan. ALIX You slipped him a date rape drug and held a knife to his throat! KRISTA So what he still said it. But there’s just one problem with my and my equally well endowed girlfriend taking home the Anderson Cup. ALIX Did someone pee in it? Because my dad once peed in the Holy water at church, and holy crap, you’d think someone just called the Virgin Mary a dumpster slut. KRISTA No, no one peed in it. Although now that you mention it, it does have a weird kind of smell. No our problem, our annoyingly annoying obstacles are The Heavenly Rockers. TERRY Who’s spiritual counselor you had a run in with earlier today. ALIX I dunno what that dude's problemo is! You wouldn’t guess how much free crap we get from the blue ball special. Crushing pain in your testicles is kinda forgotten about when the hottest chick on the walk of fame is the one doing it. KRISTA Like Michael J Foxx The Rockers need to come back to future because they’re living in the past. They’re holding onto one teensy tiny sliver of hope based on the fact that they eliminated me from a battle royal two years ago and won the tag titles. Whoop dee doo ladeey da supercalafragilisticexpioladocius the thought of them winning the Anderson Cup is really quite atrocious! JADE (OS) Mom, look out! Jade’s proclamation comes too late as Colonel Abdullah and Logan and Synth pounce upon Chicks Over Dicks! Holly is eager to join in on the beating, but finds herself tackled to the ground by Jade! The numbers and strength advantage quickly pays dividends for THR as they’re easily able to overwhelm COD. Alix and Krista are pummeled with stomps and punches, until several wrestlers such as the Orange County Cobras, J-MAX, and Mariachi join with backstage officails to ward the troublemaking rockstars off. LOGAN This isn’t over! All HeldDOWN, every HeldDOWN, you’re going be our hoes straight up to Nerdly Spectacular! Logan tosses “Fit With Kid” for the Wii at Krista. SYNTH Here’s ya stupid game back! I didn't lose any weight off my hips! You think I like lookin' like a waddling platapyus? Make a better game! The Rockers storm off with Synth still grumbling about the ineffectivness of the fitness game. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2010 We return back to ringside where “Living in America“ by James Brown cues and the All-American Boys proudly wave Old Glory down the aisle. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Hearts of the American people, they fight for truth, justice and the American way… FREEDOM and LIBERTY… THE ALL-AMERICAN BOYS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The guys lead a chant of “USA“ as their music fades out in favor of “The World is Mine” by David Guetta. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by the CEO of THE ENTERPRISE, THEODORE MONEYMAKER… at a total combine weight of 420 pounds, THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker points his junior partners down the green and gold lit stage and shouts “ATTACK!” * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds as the LDCMG ambush the flag waving All-American Boys. CMJ drops Liberty on his head with an IRISH SUPLEX, while Reiger whips Freedom into the corner and takes him down with a RUNNING INVERTED BULLDOG! COACH New York Knockout! Moneymaker gives the signal and the LDCMG deliver THE SPIKE REIGER COUNTER! COLE And that’s gonna do it. COACH Teddy’s got these guys focused like never before. The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the match… THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker grabs the mic and enters the ring. MONEYMAKER MARV and MEL, if you’re not already more baked than a bag of potato chips I hope you’re paying real close attention, boys. What you just witness was the public execution of two things that mean a lot to me -- liberty and freedom. No, not because I turned into a democrat, but rather thanks to you. Thanks to you embarrassing us across the county and around the world on OAOAST Syndicated. And as everybody knows, nobody embarrasses Theodore Moneymaker or his Enterprise and gets way with it. REIGER You got that right, boss. The Christ Air Express sucker punched us. I mean, they’d still be in the hospital had it been a fair fight. But we’re not gonna cry over spilled milk. Instead we plan on embarrassing them in their own hometown at the Nerdly Spectacular. Hell, we’ll even put the titles on the line. MONEYMAKER “Money Talks” by AC/DC cues as Moneymaker and the LDCMG exit. COLE A challenge has been issued to the Christ Air Express for the Nerdly Spectacular and you know they’ll jump at the chance to face the tag team champions in their hometown. COACH Some things money can’t buy, Cole -- confidence. The LDC Moneygang clearly have it. COLE Folks, money also can't buy The Nerdly Spectacular. Because its free on TSM and The Pit, and catch the encore on The OAOAST Network! We'll see the epic contract signing of Mister Dick against Reject for Anglemania, the Anderson Cup finals, and so much more! Don't miss it! NERDLY SPECTACULAR Younger Sexier Nerdlier February 25th, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2010 Coming back from break “Slither” by Velvet Revolver rocks into the arena, bringing forth a large from the sold out audience. Appearing from behind the entrance doors is Ned Blanchard, wearing light silver trunks with a giant red star on the back and red stars on the front. At his side stands film buff extraordinaire Molly Nerdly, wearing a green polo shirt and khaki pants. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televisied time limit of ten minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Orange County, California, he is accompanied by Molly Nerdly, he weighes 235 pounds he is THE HANDSOME HUSTLER….NED BLAAAAANCHAAAAAAAAAARD! Ned climbs onto the ring apron and holds his arms into the air as the crowd mimics the gesture. Molly stands on the ring mats, at his side, pointing happily to their man. COLE Ned Blanchard set to take on the man who eliminated him from The Lethal Rumble, the eventual Rumble winner Mister Dick. COACH Ned's barking up the wrong tree tonight. Mister Dick is running hot after tearing through twenty nine other guys to do the impossible! Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer It’s a golden shower of Mister Dick power, as the golden pyro cascades from the ceiling, raining down onto the entrance stage. Through this thick downfall steps the impressive physique of Mister Dick, clad in white leather chaps and matching trunks with red lips on the front. At side stands the imposing figure of Malaysia, her muscular body held inside a black corset and black bikini briefs. She massages the heavily oiled physique of her lethal rumble-winning lover, before the two make their way down the entrance ramp. BUFFER And his opponent….from San Antonio, Texas, he is the 2010 Lethal Rumble winner, being accompanied by Malaysia Nerdly he represents the Deadly Alliance he is THE HUMAN HARD ON…..MISTER DIIICCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK! Mister Dick dives into the ring, humping the mat and making kissy faces at Molly. Rather repulsed by the gesture Molly waves him off and begs for a pardon. COLE We have a very interesting matchup here, a first time singles meeting between these two performers. Both very arrogant, and both very into their looks and physique. But both men also very competitive and very talented. DING DING DING Mister Dick gets the match off to a dirty start by clubbing down Ned with powerful forearms. As Blanchard lies prone on the canvas, MD takes full advantage of his weakness with stomps from his white cowboy boots. “Come on, boy, you ain’t beatin me!” Mister Dick shouts at Ned. COLE Mister Dick again being exactly that with a cheap shot on his opponent. COACH Ned is veteran, Mikey, he’s gotta be more aware of what goes in the ring. Mister Dick grabs hold of Ned’s blond hair and rips him off the canvas. He then throws him forward into the corner, smashing his head against the ring posts. Ned winces in pain, and is anguish only grows worse with kicks to the midsection from MD. The Human Hard On quickly grows tired of stomps and instead throws powerful blows into Ned’s handsome face. The attacks sink the Cobra to the ground allowing for MD to press his glittery boots into Ned’s neck. Neither the crowd nor the referee will stand for this, and the official quickly forces MD away. Displeased with the interruption of his attack, MD grabs his crotch and spits at the official. COLE Mister Dick makes no apologies about whom he is. He doesn’t try to excuse or cover up his behavior; he’s just his own man. “Break him down, baby! I wanna see him cry! I wanna hear him beg for mercy!” Malaysia shrieks on the outside. Adhering to Malaysia’s request Mister Dick returns to the corner and plants a boot directly into Ned’s chest. Pleased with himself, Mister Dick turns to Molly and gives her a salacious hip swivel! “I suddenly feel a desperate urge to projectile vomit.” Molly complains. Mister Dick’s preoccupation with the cute art-chick costs him dearly as Blanchard smashes his back with a dropkick. Mister Dick stumbles towards the ropes, which spew him back to Ned. The Handsome Hustler springs forward and connects with a lariat. While MD still tries to recover from the harsh thrashing, Blanchard rips him off the canvas. He hooks him into a front facelock, and quickly throws him backwards with a snap suplex. Blanchard then floats over for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Mister Dick makes the kickout, which does little to please the capacity crowd. Rolling to his feet, The Human Hard On is met with a barrage of chops from the Cobra. These attacks stun MD and give Blanchard the chance to hook onto his arm. From there he throws both himself and Mister Dick backwards with a side Russian leg sweep. Blanchard floats over for another cover…. ONE! TWO! Again, Mister Dick makes the kickout. Molly stirs up a “let’s go Ned” chant which gives Ned the motivation needed to head towards his feet and continue the assault on MD. The Cocky Prick is slung into the ropes nearest Malaysia. This proves to have been a bad idea for Ned as Malaysia grabs onto MD’s leg and prevents him from returning to Blanchard. The Handsome Hustler curses Malaysia’s interference and power walks to MD. But The Human Hard On meets Ned’s arrival with an eye rake that cripples the Orange County native! “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans spew their hatred as Mister Dick flexes his heavenly muscles. “Jock, do you have any idea how much his contacts cost?! We are in a recession!” Molly shouts, trying to appeal to MD’s frugality. Unconcerned with Ned’s plight, MD grabs onto his trunks and pulls him onto his feet. He batters him with several punches to the gut, weakening Ned and enabling MD to take him into a standing fireman’s carry position. Malaysia excitedly readies herself for the destruction to come. However, Blanchard disappoints her by sliding out the hold. Giving MD no chance to recover, he grabs onto the Human Hard On’s leg and rolls him for a pinfall! ONE! TWO! Mister Dick makes the kickout! He comes back to his feet on his own volition but finds himself under attack by a series of knife edge chops. The attacks back him into the corner, where the Cobra slugs him in the jaw with wild punches. But the attacks only effect MD for so long before he turns the table on Blanchard and throws him into the corner. MD overpowers with hard angry blows that beat Ned down to the ground and cause blood to seep from his nose. The referee manages to separate MD from his helpless victim only for so long as MD returns to choke at Blanchard. COLE There’s a certain mean streak in Mister Dick, a tenacity to go along with his arrogance and narcissism. COACH If you want to advance to the next level, you gotta be able to play a little dirty. Ask Reject, or Alfdogg or Leon Rodez. Rodez didn’t play dirty when he was world champion and look where he is now! Finally the official intervenes and pulls Mister Dick away from his weakened rival. While MD and the referee exchange words, Molly checks on Ned, comforting him in his poor state. But Molly hasn’t much time to encourage Ned, as MD yanks him out of the corner. Moments later he throws him through the ropes! Ned slams into the hard outside mats, landing right next to Malaysia. “Heheheh, a pleasure to see you.” Malaysia giggles to herself. The pleasure is all her’s of course as she plants her platform boots into his skull. Molly is beside herself, “Referee, only a blind spider monkey could miss such a foul play!” Not wishing to risk her man’s disqualification, Malaysia begrudgingly chucks Blanchard back into the squared circle. MD saunters over to him, taunting him with cruel words. He begins pulling Blanchard to his feet, but the Handsome Hustler begins fighting back with shots to MD’s ripped midsection. However, MD puts down the rebellion with a kick to his opponent’s head. Bringing Ned to his feet, MD deposits him into the corner. He beats on him with right crosses, until he decides to whip him into the ropes. When Blanchard returns MD flings a discus punch. But Blanchard ducks bellow it and comes to a stop behind MD. The second The Human Hard On turns around he’s blasted with a right jab. And another! And another! And finally Mister Dick is floored by a dropkick! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans celebrate as Ned mocks Mister Dick wit a crotch chop of his own. COACH What a lack of class! COLE Please, you’re one to talk! With Molly encouraging him, Blanchard makes a crucial pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! The Lethal Rumble winner kicksout! “BOOOOOOOO!” Blanchard signals for his famous slingshot suplex, changing the boos to cheers. However the good feelings are only temporary as ThunderKid sneaks out the crowd and appears on the ring apron. This doesn’t do much to please Ned, who moves to confront the former Heartland champion. As the two men engage in a heated argument, Mister Dick begins measuring Ned for a lethal attack. Once he’s narrowed his target he surges forward with the Stiff Kick! But Blanchard dives out the way and TK is nailed in the face by the powerful move. The Green Bay native flies off the apron and smashes into the guard rail, causing him incredible amounts of anguish. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Mister Dick doesn’t seem overly concerned with his running mate’s plight and instead captures Ned onto his shoulders. COLE Cock Block coming up? But Mister Dick’s curiosity is piqued by Molly stepping onto the apron. The NYU student fires off a sly smile that only further grabs MD’s interest. His hunger for what Molly offers grows insatiable, and he releases Blanchard. Molly fills his appetite and then some by ripping away her shirt and revealing her mouthwatering bra encased breasts. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Amidst all this, Blanchard rolls MD up for a pin! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Mister Dick quickly pops out the pinfall. Unfortunately for him as he stands up, Blanchard traps him inside a front facelock. But Mister Dick strikes him with a low blow and rolls him up for a pinfall! ONE! TWO! THREE! Womanizer comes to life as the audience expresses their displeasure with the outcome. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall….MISTER DICK! COLE Mister Dick getting on a roll as we head to Anglemania! And he beat one tough competitor to get there. Rather than check on TK’s wounded condition, Mister Dick celebrates by going to the second and taunting the sold out audience. Malaysia stays behind him, massaging his deeply muscled rear end and smiling at the gathered carnage. COACH Shouldn’t he be checking on ThunderKid? COLE I guess according to Mister Dick’s laws you must live with your own mistakes. COACH Yeah, well, Reject's gonna have to have a talk with Jock, because that ain't playin' team ball. You play for the front of the jersey not the back. COLE He's not wearing a jersey. COACH Burn in hell, bitch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2010 Backstage we find a hurried and distressed Morgan Nerdly bursting through the doors to the parking lot. Standing outside next to the door is her elder brother MARV, taking a smoke break. MARV What up, Morgan? Startled Morgan pulls out her pepper spray and sprays MARV in the face! MARV Ah! Ah! Ah! Why? God damn it, why?! MORGAN Oh no. MARV Shit! Damn it! Ahhhhh! Just some warning! Just some fucking warning! That’s all I want! Some fucking warning! MORGAN I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was you. MARV It hurts so much, but tastes most excellent! MORGAN Its sugar mint breath spray. I ran out of mace last week in the mall when these high schoolers tried to gang up on my in the parking garage. MARV At least you didn’t taze me, kid sister. Um, that “Destory Morgan” crap that keeps running, yo, who do you think is behind it? Got any leads? MORGAN I dunno, when you shock half the staff, you don’t make many friends. MARV I don’t think its someone within. That doesn’t fit anybody’s M.O. MORGAN I just wanna be left alone. Its always the same thing. Let’s hurt Morgan, let’s gang up on her cause she’s weak, lets see how far we can push her until she breaks. We’ll ruin her life, won’t that be fun. I just want to find a place where I can be alone, and no one can bother me! I’m sorry I ever joined this stupid company, but I’m here now, and I’m the champion and Leon says- MARV Don’t listen to that tool! MORGAN Don’t call him that! He’s done more for me than anyone in this rotten family! He says there’s a bullseye on my back and all I can do is keep running, because no one will help me, and if I stop running I’ll just get shot. I…I…I…maybe it would be easier to just let them take me down. I’m tired of running. I don’t want to do it anymore. I…I…can’t run any farther. I’m sick of trying. I’m done. Someone wants to destroy me? Morgan goes to the center of the parking lot and holds her hands out to her sides as she stares to the sky. MORGAN (yelling into the night) Here I am! Come get and me! What are you waiting for? Destroy me! Destroy me! Don’t make me wait! Just strike me down! Destroy, Morgan Nerdly! Do it! Do it while there's still something left to destroy! As a crowd gathers to watch Morgan scream into the night, we fade to commercial... COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
