Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 20, 2010 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- I'm very tempted to change the theme song to this... I just may do it to. We come to the OAOAST Arena We then zip to sofa central where Michael Cole and Da Coach are decked out in Anglemania FUR COATS. Hold up a minute there's two much swag in her I gotta crack the window.... There we go. COLE Welcome, welcome, welcome to Saskatoon the sight of tonight's HeldDOWN~! We are one week away from the extravaganza known as The Nerdly Spectacular! I'm Michael Cole, joined as always by Johnathan Coachman. We will be crowning a king of the ring next week in Edmonton, but who that king will be is still hotly contested. COACH That's right, and we have two king of the ring qualifiers here tonight. LATER TONIGHT KING OF THE RING QUALIFIERS JUMBO VS CHRISTIAN WRIGHT LANDON MADDIX VS BIFF ATLAS TONIGHT! ALSO TONIGHT A COLD DISH OF REVENGE THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS VS TEAM HEYROSS TONIGHT COLE And that Team Heyross versus The Heavenly Rockers ought to be amazing! 3 Doors Down’s ode to the army “Citizen Soldiers” hits, and Baron Windells and Tim Cash storm through the entrance doors with purpose and intent. COLE We're kicking things off with the classiest guys in the OAOAST Citizen Soldiers! COACH That's a great selling point. Classy. And when they're behind the fans can chant "quiet dignity" at them. It'll be great. Behind the duo is Melody Nerdly, clad in daisy duke shorts and flannel top, warming up the audience and stirring their passions. Doesn’t that sound nice. Stirring their passions. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes. Introducing first, from Peoria, Illionois, he is Gentleman Tim Cash! And his partner he hails from San Antonio, Texas, he is The Lonestar Gunslinger….BARON WINDELLS! Accompanied by Melody Nerdly, they are…..CITIZEN SOLDIERS! A loud cheer goes up for the duo as Baron, wearing burnt orange trunks, stomps down the entry way. Cash, in white trunks with Cash written in green font, offers the legendary TWO HANDED HANDSHAKE to the gathered front row fans. COLE This match came about after The Lethal Rumble where Citizen Soldiers and The Deadly Alliance had several contentious run ins. The Wall by Kanas comes to life as the entry way fills with lights and matching smoke. Entrance doors split apart bringing out the intimidating threesome of ThunderKid, Sandman, and Mister Dick. They stand tall and proud atop the entrance stage, unaffected by the jeers and taunts that swell around them. ThunderKid wears black bicycle tights with white lightening bolts down the side, and matching black boots and elbow pads. Sandman wears his traditional garb of bandanas, black sweatpants and a white sleeveless Deadly Alliance shirt. Mister Dick sports black athletic pants and a Texas A&M football jersey along with his glittery white cowboy hat. BUFFER And their opponents, being accompanied by Mister Dick, first from Green Bay, Wisconsin, he is a former United States and tag team champion….THUNDERKIIIIDDDDDDDD! And his partner, a former Heartland Champion, he is from South Of Heaven, THE SAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAN! “BOOOOOOOOO!” Sandman enters the ring and discards his bandana, showing a face that’s been worn and tested by numerous battles over the years. TK raises his arms, drawing strong boos from the Saskatoon audience. Elsewhere Mister Dick takes a seat at the sofa central. MISTER DICK Well, I’ll be, this is mighty comfortable! I may have to trade my Anglemania mainevent for a seat on this thing. COLE History is in the making! For the first time ever it is Citizen Soldiers versus the Deadly Alliance. MISTER DICK All four of them are talented as a blue ribbon winning pig but they ain’t got nothing on Mister Dick and I mean that with all due respect of course. COLE Your old partner Baron did almost have you eliminated from the Lethal Rumble. MISTER DICK Baron’s almost done a lot of things to me. The boy and I are competitive as two horses fighting over the last sugar cube. I got one up on him at Anglepalooza, he’ll get one up on me sometime down the road. It’s just gonna be that way. There’s a bit of an argument between Sandman and TK over who will start the contest. The debate becomes heated enough that the referee has to step into the verbal spat and anoint TK the starter of the contest. DING DING DING An intense stare down occurs between both ThunderKid and Baron Windells. Once that stand off comes to a close, Windells captures TK into a side headlock. BW wrenches on the hold, torqing on TK’s neck and offering him annoying pain. COLE In my opinion we have two of the greatest athletes in the OAOAST standing in that ring. MISTER DICK Uh-uh! Think again, pencil dick, no one stands up to myself. How do you think I got the stamina to pump Malaysia all night every night or win the Lethal Rumble from the number one entrant? It comes from being the best damn athlete your beady little crooked eyes have ever seen. ThunderKid pushes BW into the ropes, but doesn’t find much luck with that move as BW bounces off the cables to shoulder block him to the canvas. Next BW makes another run of the ropes, but finds himself leapfrogged by the agile Green Bay native. When he makes his third return, TK drops to his bell and strikes him with a drop toe hold. BW is then scrapped off the canvas and thrown into the ropes by TK. The former Heartland champion ducks his head, causing a leapfrog from BW. The cables spew BW backwards and he takes TK off his feet with a leaping shoulder tackle. Windells attempts to follow up with a running elbow strike, but TK slides out the way. He quickly rolls upright and throws a lunging elbow attack at BW. However, WIndells side steps the move and then grabs hold of TK’s waist. From there he throws TK to the ground with a side belly to belly suplex! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” “Go home and be a family man!” Melody quotes Guile from street fighter. MISTER DICK That’s what I don’t miss about the Lonestar Gunslingers, her and her crazy talk! TK is back onto his feet, but is hammered with powerful overhand punches by the former tag team champion! Once done with beating away at TK, BW whips him across the ring. TK smashes into the corner with such force that it pushes him back towards the center of the ring. BW seizes on this opportunity and darts at TK. But the Green Bay native captures him a side belly to belly suplex. TK then attempts the first cover of the contest…. ONE! TWO! Baron makes the kickout, bringing joy the sold out audience. COLE A close call there, Baron surely wasn’t expecting that suplex. TK throws himself off the ropes, and returns with high flying cross body block. But BW catches him within his well muscled arms and then throws him backwards with the Devil’s Addiction! The fans cheer as TK arches his back in pain and misery. His pain only grows worse, when Baron Windells pulls him into a standing front facelock. COLE Brigham Young Cocktail? MISTER DICK I hate that damn move worse than I hate you, Cole! But Sandman rushes into the ring and strikes BW in the back of the head. Somewhat offended by the help, TK shouts to Sandman he could’ve gotten out the hold on his own. “Enforce the rules, you must!” Melody reminds the referee in her Yoda voice. Baron does his own version of enforcing by attacking the Sandman to the crowd’s glee. Less to their delight is the fact that ThunderKid jumps the crowd favorite from behind. Together the Deadly Alliance members beat on BW with clubbing blows to the back. This offends Tim Cash’s senses of honor and integrity and he rushes into the ring to defend his partner! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Eventually BW and TK carry themselves out the ring, leaving behind the duo of Cash and Sandman. The brawling ability of the former Heartland titleholder wins out over Cash’s gentlemanly style as he beats his foe into a neutral corner. Sandman begins lighting up Cash with vicious closed fists that are warned against by the referee. But Cash takes matters into his own hand by tossing Sandman into the corner he once resided in. The fans come alive with cheers as Cash pounds on his rival with perfect knife edge chops. MISTER DICK Really Sandman? Getting lit up by the biggest bag of pussy in the OAOAST? Is that what the Deadly Alliance is about now? Cash backs away to the center of the ring to rally the audience with some hand clapping. Once they’re truly behind him, he runs to Sandman and nails him with a leaping body splash! As Sandman sags to the canvas, Cash celebrates by raising his arms to the adoring fans. MISTER DICK Now this guy s’posed to be the Ultimate Nice Guy, I ain’t buyin that for a silly minute, if I did what he was doin’ I’d get yelled outta house and home fer being a showboat. Sandman staggers towards the center of the ring, and finds himself under fire from a series of jabs by Tim Cash. As the blows leave Sandman stunned in the middle of the ring, Cash grabs onto him and attempts to crack his back with a Cashback (Randy Orton style backbreaker) but Sandman avoids the deadly signature attack by giving Cash an inverted headbutt! The unique move floors the Gentlemen, and allows Sandman to strike him with a leaping knee drop! “Come on Sandman, hit him harder than that!” TK chides his partner from the apron. COLE ThunderKid oddly going after Sandman. I don’t understand that. MISTER DICK Like the US Army ThunderKid is trynna make Sandy be all he can be. Visibly annoyed with TK, Sandman rakes Cash off the canvas and circles him inside a rear waistlock. This does not exactly sit well with BW, who rushes into the ring and delivers a lariat to the back of Sandman. The former Heartland Champion tumbles over in annoying amounts of pain. MISTER DICK That ain’t gentlemanly! COLE Baron isn’t the one who claims to be a gentlemen. Forgoing the legal man rules, the referee allows Baron Windells to remain in the match. The buff Texan throws a cascade of punches at Sandman’s head as he tries to get back towards is feet. Once through with simple punches, he brings Sandman to his feet and throws him into the ropes. Windells lifts up his leg for a big boot but Sandman sweeps bellow the dangerous strike. Unfortunately for him he’s then caught by a whirling elbow from The Lonestar Star Gunslinger. “YEAAAAAA!” The fans continue to cheer as wrestling’s last real good guy is tagged into the contest. He grabs onto Sandman’s arm and launches him into the far corner. But as he charges in after him, Sandman throws out an elbow that knocks Cash away. With The Gentlemen weakened Sandman rushes after him with a lariat. But Cash swings forward with a lariat and both men wipe each other out. The referee immediately begins the count, as both men struggle to move. ONE! TWO! THREE! Each competitor stirs, buts its Sandman who puts forth the most movement. Because of this he’s able to make a hasty tag to ThunderKid. The god of thunder enters the ring and cuts off Cash from his partner with a leaping elbow drop! MISTER DICK Damn smart move by ThunerKid? Now why can’t sum-a-bitch do that all the time? An irish whip sends Tim Cash into the ropes. As he returns TK floors him with a lunging back elbow. No sooner than a second after Cash hits the canvas TK runs over and elbows BW off the ring! “BOOOOOOOOO!” The audience’s mood grows even worse when TK lifts Cash off the canvas and drives his head through the ring with a deadly pile driver. COACH That’s not a move you see often in the OAOAST. MISTER DICK Whatever works ya gotta use it. Smiling to himself, TK hooks both of Cash’s legs for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! But Baron Windells breaks up the pinfall at the last possible second “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans and Melody shout. COACH Get him out of there, ref! Angered by BW’s interference, TK takes it out on Cash with hard and vicious stomps. Once through with those attacks, TK applies the tag to Sandman. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” the audience voices their displeasure as Sandman makes his latest appearance into the ring. Sandman wraps his arms around Cash’s waist and within seconds he flings The Gentlemen backwards with a release German Suplex! While Cash cringes in pain, Sandman makes the tag with ThunderKid. COLE Quick tagging by the Deadly Alliance. MISTER DICK Teamwork at its best. They learn from watchin’ me, a former tag champ in my own right. TK wears down Cash in the corner with powerful right hands. Next TK hurls him across the ring, causing him to crash into the ring posts. TK snorts like a mad bull and then runs in after him, but misses with a body splash! The fans sing their delight as TK stumbles out the corner. Their cheers become even louder when Cash cracks TK with an enzgiuri. Both men now lie prone on the canvas, each in desperate need of a tag with their partners. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” Cash begins to inch towards his corner, prompting TK to hold down his legs. But Cash’s strength and will is too much for TK to overcome and a tag is made to The Lonestar Gunslinger! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK Ah crap on a stick! Baron Windells cleans house like a maid service, taking out both members of the Deadly Alliance with amazingly deadly punches. The fans joy in watching the Gunslinger dominate the disliked duo. The pair scramble towards their feet on opposite sides of Baron. TK lunges forward with a desperation spear. However, BW leaps into the air and TK accidentally spears Sandman! Needless to say Sandman is not pleased with this. Nor is he pleased to be taken into a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! TK attempts to break it up with an elbow, but once again BW moves out the way and Sandman takes the blow directly onto his face. “BARON! BARON! BARON!” The fans’ chants continue as BW hooks TK into a front facelock. From there he leaps upwards and strikes him with the ultra lethal Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT)! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The referee gets into position to count BW’s fall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Sandman breaks the count with a basement dropkick to BW’s head. The fans are mighty displeased with this development, and so is Baron as he’s chased outside by Sandman. Meanwhile back in the ring, TK has staggered upright. But that’s a short lived accomplishment as Cash puts him back on the ground with the lethal Cashback backbreaker! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” But Sandman returns to the squared circle to nail Cash with the Archangel Wings! COLE Oh that had to be it! That had to be it! MISTER DICK Kiss mama goodnight, this baby is all over! But BW enters ring and surprises Sandman with a Brigham Young Cocktail! The fans erupt with immense pleasure as The Lonestar Gunslinger makes the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! BUT THE PIN IS BROKEN UP BY THUNDERKID! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!’ TK strikes Windells with repeated stomps, seeking to delay him from using his deathly finisher. With Windells subdued for the moment, TK rouses Sandman. Though groggy Sandman is able to get towards his feet. He scoops Baron up and holds his arms behind his back. “Here it comes!” TK shouts, then lunges forward with a lariat! But Sandman loses his grip on Windells and The Gunslinger sneaks out the hold. This of course causes TK to crash directly into his partner. “Are you retarded or something?” Sandman complains, and then rolls out the ring to heal himself. MISTER DICK Christ in heaven! What happened to the teamwork I was talking about? How many times are ya gonna hit yer own partner in the face before it stops bein’ an accident? TK tries to explain himself, but as the words spill out his mouth, Tim Cash traps him inside a school boy! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!!!! DING DING DING The fans explode with thrilled cheer as Citizen Soldiers hug in the center of the ring. Cash offers his hand in kindness to Sandman, but with his pride as hurt as his body the former Heartland champion merely rolls away. BUFFER Your winners, as a result of a pinfall…..CITIZEN SOLDIERS! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA” COACH Jock, I think you missed your cue. MISTER DICK My cue to do what? COACH To interfere. MISTER DICK Son, lemme lay it out for ya real fast. You gotta do for yourself before others do for yourself. See what I’m sayin? I did for myself in the Lethal Rumble and its got me to Anglemania. Now, if these boys had kept on top of their game instead of falling apart and actin’ like some bickerin’ old hags over a bingo game then we ain’t gonna be havin’ this here conversation. See what I’m sayin’? Now I gotta go mop up this mess before ThunderKid winds up with a kendo stick through his damn skull. Mister Dick leaves sofa central to calm the brewing storm before it tears apart the Deadly Alliance. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 20, 2010 MIND BODY SOUL DESTROYED DESTROY MORGAN NERDLY MIND BODY SOUL The violent war of words against Morgan Nerdly has attracted the interest of her sister Maggie. The youngest of the Nerdlies is seen walking down the hallway, hurrying past those that would wish to greet her. She eventually makes her way into Josie's office, which is littered with papers, posters, and OAOAST magazines. JOSIE Maggie? The pleasant sister. What can I do for you? MAGGIE I’m not trying to offend ya or anything, but as an interviewer and a sister I gotta ask…. JOSIE Ask what, Maggie. MAGGIE These “Destroy Morgan” messages aimed at my sis, do you know who’s behind it? Josie leans back in her chair and sighs a heavy sort of sigh. JOSIE Yes. MAGGIE JOSIE Don't be that shocked. It is my plan after all. I have eyes and ears everywhere in this company. But, lately they’re all focused on Morgan. I am consumed by Morgan. Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. I can see everything, I can see every step she takes, or even feel every breath she makes. MAGGIE That sounds mad stalkerish. JOSIE Your sister is more than a thorn in my side, she’s a cancer on my brain. I need to be rid of her, I need her away from the OAOAST and away from me. Far away. Very far away. I am desperate. I am losing it, with every day it gets worse. I don't understand why she can survive through every obstacle I've laid down for her. I've set a field of landmines and she just tip toes through it. I can not and will not stand it! I’ve had this plan for quite some time, Maggie, but I didn’t know when the appropriate moment was to unleash it. Well, Maggie, the time has come. Two weeks from now on HeldDOWN live from Montreal, Quebec, there will be a women’s title match. MAGGIE Get out! JOSIE Between Lindsay Gonzalez and Morgan. Should Morgan beat Lindsay, my plan will kick into overdrive, and your sister will come face to face with the one meant to destroy her. This is not about titles anymore. Its about freedom. And that freedom is from Morgan Nerdly. Because she is a blight on my company, and I’ve lived too long with her around. So on the next HeldDOWN, Morgan’s mind, her broken body, and her wretched soul will be crushed by one person. Morgan will look into this person's eyes and realize that her painful life will be coming to an end. Go and give your sister that message. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT KING OF THE RING QUALIFIER CHRISTIAN WRIGHT VS JUMBO NEXT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 20, 2010 Returning from the commercial break, "Sweet Home Chicago" hits and cheerful as ever, the bigman Jumbo struts through the entrance way. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match. Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois... weighing in at four hundred, fourty pounds... JJJUUUUUUUUMMMMMBBOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Jumbo tags hands down to the ring and makes his way around, the sight of this gigantic man strutting around in his red leather jacket bringing great joy to the people of Saskatoon. COLE King Of The Ring Qualifying Match here tonight, with the winner moving on to the eight man, single elimination stage at the Nerdly Spectacular. The bigman Jumbo set for action and it's always a great time when Jumbo's in the house! COACH You know, Jumbo'd be the perfect person to win this tournament. COLE (wary) Why's that? COACH Well, he's already used to having everything King-Sized! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long Through the thick fog of night, emerges Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. The God Child soaks up the bile from the audience, and then releases it with one powerful thrust of his arm into the air. Right at that moment green pyro blazes upwards towards the rafters. Looking splendid in a backless yellow gown, Lorelei joins him his side with a bright and bold smile. Together they hook each other's arms and walk down the entrance ramp with heads held high in pride and contempt for the audience. COACH Ol' Jumbo's got his work cut out for him tonight. BUFFER And the opponent. Now residing in Washington D.C... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Christian climbs the steps into the ring, showing no intimidation from Jumbo as he enters. COLE Christian Wright is still a man of his word, still undefeated in the OAOAST ever since he made his proclaimation to remain so. Now four months without a pinfall or submission against him and I have to admit, I doubted Christian Wright at first. But he has been most impressive. COACH It just goes to show what a little dedication and some goal orientation can do for a man. CW is a man at the top of his game, no doubt. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds, but Christian isn't ready just yet. Taking his time over unbuttoning his dress shirt, The God Child makes his opponent wait for him. COLE However, you have to wonder what exactly is going to happen when Christian finally does lose a match. COACH He won't. Not so long as the sun may set and the moon may rise and all that jazz. COLE Well, impressive or not, I don't see how one man, at 26 years old, can go the rest of their career without a loss against their name. And tonight Christian has got to face a man twice his size. We'll see if this newfound confidence can overcome the size and girth of big Jumbo. Finally stripped down and ready to go Christian gets into the match and circles his large opponent. They lock up and Wright tries to fight the power head on. However, Jumbo merely throws Wright off. Shaken up by this, Christian calmly walks back to his corner and kneels down to consult with Lorelei over some new strategy. COLE Confidence or no confidence, that's not the way to overcome Jumbo. CW emerges from the corner and locks up with Jumbo again. This time Wright has a plan in mind, kneeing Jumbo in the gut. Wright dishes out a European uppercut. And a second one. Off the ropes, Wright then hits a clothesline. Jumbo doesn't go down after all this, leaving Christian looking a little perplexed. Running the ropes again he delivers a second clothesline, still not enough to do any more than wobble Jumbo a bit. So CW hits the ropes again, only for Jumbo to cut him off and engulf him with a big body attack! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Nor is running into Jumbo and expecting him to budge! Cover by Jumbo... 1... 2... Kickout. Wright quickly rolls away and underneath the bottom rope, trying to collect his thoughts. COLE Christian trying to get away, but he's not going to get away for long here. Reaching over the ropes, Jumbo grabs Wright by the hair and drags him back up onto the apron. However, Christian manages to shrug him off and hangs Jumbo across the top rope! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright quickly rolls back in and catches Jumbo from behind with a chopblock! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Man down! COLE Oh man, Jumbo's knee buckled on that shot. And that's a lot of weight coming down on your leg if you land awkwardly. Cover by Wright... 1... 2... No. Wright jumps back up and puts the boots to Jumbo, then focuses on the leg. He drops an elbow to the inside of the knee. And then a second. Trying to apply a figure four, he soon realises Jumbo is the wrong size for that kind of move, so settles for a spinning toehold instead. COLE Now Christian going to work on that knee. This is a sounder strategy than the last one. Get this big man down to size. COACH See, the man had a great strategy all along and all you could do was criticise from the sideline. As CW puts the torque on the knee, Jumbo refuses to give up. And after some time being worn away at, he finally aleviates his knee by kicking Wright off with the free leg. Wright is straight back to his feet though. Not letting Jumbo up, he kicks the bigman back down before applying the toehold again. Lorelei applauds from ringside, the only one in the arena enjoying this. "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" WRIGHT SILENCE! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" Irritated by the chants, Wright lets go of the hold and drops an elbow on Jumbo's chest, looking for a pin... 1... 2... No. Jumbo hobbles back to his feet and catches CW walking in with a right hand. And another one. Wright goes to the knee with a quick kick though and hobbles Jumbo again. Ducking behind, Wright leaps up and slaps on a Sleeper Hold. With all of Christian's weight on his back Jumbo's knee eventually buckles and he falls down trapped in the hold. COACH We're playing the slow game, Michael. Let's hope Jumbo's been doing his cardio and not his carbohydrates. The crowd get behind Jumbo as they sense him beginning to weaken. Not just yet says Jumbo, wagging his finger. He climbs back up and elbows Christian in the gut, almost forcing his guts out through his mouth! COLE Oh, Christian got caught good that time! With Wright doubled up, Jumbo picks him up and delivers a bodyslam, bad leg and all! COLE And are we going to see it already!? Jumbo, looking to end the undefeated streak with a real splash... an XL Splash, to be precise! Backing into the ropes Jumbo pumps his arm and goes for the XL SPLASH... ...BUT CHRISTIAN ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Nobody home! And maybe it was a little too early for Jumbo after all. COACH Eyes bigger than his stomach. Always been Jumbo's problem. Which considering the size of his stomach is quite a large problem. Jumbo comes up holding his knee after landing and Christian sees an opportunity. He climbs to the middle rope and with Jumbo still down and hurt, comes off with an elbowdrop from the second floor. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Despite the kickout, Jumbo is still prone. So Wright starts climbing the turnbuckles again. COLE Look at this, Christian Wright heading to the top this time. You don't see that often! Off the top, Christian flies and hits a Frog Splash!! He hooks the leg as best possible, trying to put Jumbo away... 1... 2... Kickout! Wright puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head. COLE Jumbo kicking out, but that's about all. COACH Guess what... he's fallen... and he can't get up! Climbing the turnbuckles again Christian has the time to reach the top again, with Jumbo still struggling to pick himself back up. Able to roll over and start to reach his feet, Jumbo doesn't make it all the way, as Wright comes off with another Frog Splash, this time aimed at the legs, crashing down on the backs of Jumbo's knees!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jumbo groans in pain and reaches for his leg, but Wright is busy wrapping them up and applying, as best possible on a 440 pound man, a cloverleaf. COLE Looking for the Wallstreet Cloverleaf, but can he get it on Jumbo... he can! COACH Wow! Wright manages to lock in the Wallstreet Cloverleaf and sits back, pulling up on Jumbo's legs as much as he's able. At first Jumbo shakes his head no, despite being in clear pain. However after a good ten seconds in the hold and no sign of escaping, Jumbo eventually can take no more and gives up, to a satisfied smile from Lorelei. *DINGDINGDING* COLE Wow is right. Christian Wright advances! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, advancing to the 2010 King Of The Ring... "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHHRRIIIISSSTTIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRRIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Letting go of the submission Wright raises his hands to the skies as Lorelei rushes around to fetch him a microphone. The referee checks on Jumbo and his injured knee meanwhile, as CW takes the mic. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! The crowd boo as the increasingly confident Christian soaks in the grandeur of his latest win. COACH And if I'm a betting man, there's your next King of the OAOAST. A King, a God Child, a man to be looking up to. COLE We'll see how he'll perform under the spotlight of the Nerdly Spectacular! Will he be a king or will he be a peasant? NERDLY SPECTACULAR Younger Sexier Nerdlier KING OF THE RING MATCHES EVENING GOWN PILLOW FIGHT: THE NERDLIES VS QUEEN ESTHER, LORELEI, HOLLY, LINDSAY GONZALEZ ANDERSON CUP FINAL: CHICKS OVER DICKS VS THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS February 25th, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 20, 2010 Anywhere else in the world it would be considered strange. In the hallways backstage at the OAOAST though? Dressed up in her light blue ballgown, Queen Esther scuttles her way around in a tizzy, passing normal people who are dressed normally, acting normal. Making Queen Esther look even more out of place than she is. In the OAOAST, this is normal. QUEEN ESTHER Oh, this is terrible. Just terrible. As the Queen scuttles around flapping her hands, Josh Matthews appears, giving Esther a start. QUEEN ESTHER OH! MATTHEWS Are you okay? QUEEN ESTHER Good heavens, you appeared from the very air that surrounds you! MATTHEWS Actually I just came out of the bathroom. Door's right over there. Anyway, why are you so flustered? Is there a problem? QUEEN ESTHER Why, there most certainly is. Problems aplenty! Oh, I have been suffering from great sadness all week. Twas to have been a night of great jubilation, but it has all gone wrong! This is not how it was supposed to have been. No no no, it is not. My noble Scottish Kings were to have progressed on to the main attraction of this fine, ancient tournament named in honour of Sir Anderson of Minnesota. But, oh... woe! WOE IS ME! For my Kings were defeated, by two young ladies. Oh, they messed it all up for me. They ruined it all, all of my hopes and dreams, left in tatters! MATTHEWS Well, Krista and Alix... they'll do that to ya. Queen Esther gives Josh a funny look, as if not sure what he's talking about. MATTHEWS Are you okay? QUEEN ESTHER I'm fine. I must go, for my heart needs time to heal. MATTHEWS Uhm, before you go, have you got any thoughts about the upcoming King Of The Ring tournament? Again, Queen Esther gives Josh one of those "what are you talking about" looks. It's amazing how someone walking around a sports arena in a ballgown and tiara can look at someone else as if they're the crazy one. MATTHEWS The King Of The Ring. February 25th. You didn't know about it? QUEEN ESTHER There is to be a King crowned! Oh, my word, then I really must go and prepare myself! Oh, this is the most wonderous news! A competition to find me a King! How marvelous! MATTHEWS Uh, actually... I don't think it's for you. QUEEN ESTHER Oh. I see. Well. Then, I of course applaud the OAOAST for embracing the paegentry of royalty. I hope they shall find themselves a fine King. Although, of course, royalty and nobility like mine is not something you can merely 'win'. MATTHEWS Of course. The Queen stands around for a few seconds, not realising her interview is over, before she marches off, a bit perturbed. COLE Oh dear. Do you think the Queen is feeling a bit threatened by the prospect of a King being crowned in the OAOAST? COACH She's got other things on her mind, Michael. Like what happened a couple of weeks ago. COLE Well Chicks Over Dicks did beat the Queen's team, Danny Boy and Scottish Scott, two weeks ago. And Krista and Alix will be going to the Anderson Cup Final on February 25th, at the Nerdly Spectacular, taking on The Heavenly Rockers. That should be something. COACH And Team Heyross and The Heavenly Rockers is gonna be something violent! COLE Its next! “Dani California” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers starts playing, and the crowd immediately stands up and boos as the entrance doors slide open, and James Riggs steps out. As usual, Riggs doesn’t even bother to pose, instead deciding to just walk down the entrance ramp, mumbling to himself and not looking at the fans. COLE Or not. James Riggs once again ’gracing’ us with his presence. And as we all know, he has had his problems with Tha Puerto Rican the past few weeks. He interrupted Tha Puerto Rican’s return 2 weeks ago to vent his frustrations, then last week, while PRL was being interviewed by his girlfriend, Maggie Nerdly, James attacked PRL from behind with the Rolling Koppou Kick! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to footage from last week. THA PUERTO RICAN So, if you wanna make an impact, make an impact! But if not, then just stay out of my face and stay out of the OAOAST! James Riggs just stands there staring at Tha Puerto Rican. He is breathing heavily. The crowd is buzzing, wondering what JR is going to do next. Riggs simply leaves, causing the crowd to boo. PRL watches him leave. THA PUERTO RICAN Boy, don’t we got some sad people working here? I mean, really, they’ve gotta-- JAMES RIGGS ATTACKS THA PUERTO RICAN FROM BEHIND! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Riggs stomps on PR’s back as Maggie screams! JAMES RIGGS SHUT UP, SKANK! Riggs continues stomping on Puerto and then takes a few steps back. He motions for PRL to get up. When he does, Riggs charges forward, doing a forward cartwheel, sending his right foot crashing into the skull of Tha Puerto Rican’s! COLE The Rolling Koppou Kick! Rolling Koppou Kick on Tha Puerto Rican! Riggs gets up and gets in the face of the fallen Puerto Rican! JAMES RIGGS DID I MAKE AN IMPACT NOW!? DID I MAKE AN IMPACT NOW!? Riggs spits on Tha Puerto Rican and then leaves. Maggie gets down on her knees and cradles her boyfriend in her arms. MAGGIE Oh my God! P.R.! Speak to me! Honey, you okay? Oh God! SOMEBODY HELP HIM! PLEASE! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. James Riggs is in the ring and demanding a microphone. COLE That was the scene from last week! A cheap shot, an attack from behind by James Riggs! Riggs clearly taking out his frustrations of being ‘held back’ on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Clearly he is. Everybody knows that everything good that has happened to Tha Puerto Rican SHOULD have happened to James Riggs! Main eventing AngleMania? That should have been James. Winning his first World Heavyweight Championship in his first AngleMania main event? That should have been James. Winning a 60-Minute Iron Man Match? James. Winning 2 Angle Awards? James again! Being The People’s Champion? Well, that’s really The Rock‘s job, but if anyone should be ripping him off, it SHOULD be James Riggs! JR grabs a microphone from the ringside attendant and threatens to hit him for no reason whatsoever. “Dani California” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers dies down. Riggs is wearing a grey T-shirt, a leather jacket, a watch on his right wrist, a belt with a silver belt buckle, jeans and black workman boots. JAMES RIGGS Have I gotten your attention yet? Have I made an impact yet? Do you know who I am now? My name is James Riggs, and last week, I TOOK DOWN A FORMER WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JAMES RIGGS Oh yeah. You can boo me. I don’t care anymore. I don’t give a damn whether you like me or not! JR Nation is DEAD as far as I am concerned! COLE It was never alive to begin with. JAMES RIGGS (CONT’D) My wife left me. I could no longer afford to live in my mansion in California so I had to move to piss poor Montana. And I can’t get out of my damn contract! NOTHING matters anymore! I’ve got nothing to lose! So why NOT go after Tha Puerto Rican? Why NOT take the risk? Hell, it paid off and it paid off in spades because it was Tha Puerto Rican who was laying last week after I gave him my Rolling Koppou Kick! More boos from the fans. JAMES RIGGS I now look out for ME and MY best interests! And my best interests include showing the One And Only AngleSault Thread the mistake they made IGNORING ME! The mistake they made overlooking me despite the fact that I have actually held titles in this damn company! COLE Someone’s bitter. COACH Shush. JR They wanted Tha Puerto Rican to be the man! They wanted Tha Puerto Rican to represent them! They wanted Tha Puerto Rican to get the endorsement deals, the roles in movies, the money, the fame, the admiration! THEY WANTED HIM AND NOT ME AND IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH! JR is furious! He paces back and forth in the ring, calming himself down before he continues speaking. JAMES RIGGS Well, if that’s the way things have to be, that’s the way things have to be. But, if I have to be ignored, if I have to go down, at least I’m going to go down in a blaze of glory! I took out Tha Puerto Rican. Now, I wonder, just who can I target next? Which other OAOAST veteran who thinks he’s so much better than me can I go after now? Zack Malibu? Alfdogg? Leon Rodez? Krista Isadora Duncan? Why don’t I go after someone long gone, and show them just how much better I am then they ever were? Caboose? Crystal? Calvin Szechstein? Axel? Ragdoll? “Reckless” Drek Stone? I know that Tony Brannigan is backstage. Maybe he would like to do a special interview with me! I’ll be right back. James goes to leave the ring. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. COLE Hold on there a minute, James Riggs! The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke to a loud pop from the thousands in attendance. PR stops on the entrance stage to look at his fans, a serious expression on his face. He points to a fuming James Riggs in the ring and says, “Unbelievable.” PRL can’t help but smh at Riggs, before taking a deep breath, and then walking down the entrance ramp to the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican not in the best of moods after last week. You can bet that he still feels the effects of that Rolling Koppou Kick in the interview area! Coach has disappeared again. COLE This is why I love it when Tha Puerto Rican comes out here! EXACTLY why! PRL looks directly at James Riggs while slapping hands with the fans. PR, in his ring attire, shakes his head at Riggs again before walking around the ringside area tagging hands. He grabs a microphone from the timekeeper’s table and then climbs up the ring steps onto the ring apron. There, he gives JR The People’s Eyebrow and then enters the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and James Riggs face-to-face again. 2 weeks ago, it ended with a Latin Slam. Last week, it ended with a Rolling Koppou Kick. I wonder how it will end this week? Tha Puerto Rican walks up to James Riggs and engages in a staredown with him. James has the slight height advantage at 6’0” compared to P.R.’s 5’9”, but PRL has the crowd advantage, with the sold out crowd in the Credit Union Centre going nuts for him and rooting his every move. COLE This is what James Riggs wanted. He wanted to be noticed. Well, he has the attention of a former World Heavyweight Champion. Hopefully, he doesn’t regret seeking all of this attention. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd is going nuts for PRL. PRL is still staring down JR. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” THA PUERTO RICAN Before you go ahead and beat up interviewers, there’s a little matter of what happened last week to discuss! JAMES RIGGS What’s there to discuss, P.R.? I kicked you right in your arrogant face! I left you laying! There’s nothing more to discuss! It’s over! I made my point! THA PUERTO RICAN You made your point? You think you REALLY made your point? You think that you impress Tha Puerto Rican because you keep your hair long, still dress like it’s 1994, and go around attacking people from behind and kicking them in the face!? You think ONE single Rolling Koppou Kick is going to make myself and the One And Only AngleSault Thread go, ‘Gee. We were wrong about James Riggs! He really is great! Why did we ignore him for so long? James, we’re sorry! Come over here and suck on our proverbial teat!’ UH-UH! I don’t think so! It doesn’t work that way here in the OAOAST! COLE Oh my! THA PUERTO RICAN No James, you wanna make a point? You wanna make an impact? You do so in the ring, where it matters! So, James Riggs, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you will have a match at The Nerdly Spectacular against me! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” THA PUERTO RICAN The bad news is that you will have a match at The Nerdly Spectacular against me! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican stands toe to toe with JR. He stares him down before continuing to speak. THA PUERTO RICAN There’s going to be nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. You’re going to have to man up. You want to show the world just how good you *think* you are? You want people to remember your name? You’re going to have your chance. On the show named after my girlfriend, you will have the spotlight shine down on you! But, I’m warning you, consider this your one AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE and only warning: You’re going to regret wanting to make an impact. You’re going to regret wanting to make a name for yourself. You think you’re on top of the world now just because you attacked me from behind? I’d like to see what you do when you actually gotta FIGHT ME in a one-on-one match! You think that I’m intimidated by you? You think that I am shaking in my boots? James, let me tell you something: I have been attacked from behind before. I have been kicked in the face before. I have been punched, slapped, bitten, choked, bloodied, spanked and raked before. I have been electrocuted. I have almost been hung. I have been hit in every part of my body multiple times. I have been hit over the head with chairs, Kendo Sticks, ring steps, ring bells and anything else you can think of. I have been put through tables, barricades, cages. I have fallen off a Hell In A Cell and lived to tell about it and I have also fallen off of ladders! I have shed enough blood to fill 10,000 bathtubs! I have had arenas full of people cheer me! And I have had arenas full of people tell me that I suck! I have suffered more physical, mental and emotional pain than anyone I know! I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE HIGHEST OF HIGHS AND THE LOWEST OF LOWS! AND YET DESPITE ALL OF THIS, I AM STILL STANDING! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” James Riggs just stares at PRL. THA PUERTO RICAN So, if you think for one second that I am frightened at the thought of facing you, then you are sadly, SADLY MISTAKEN! There is nothing you can do to me that I haven’t already gone through! No insult, no sneak attack that can bring me down and break my spirit! No one thing you can think of that somebody else hasn’t already thought of and done to me! I have sacrificed 12 years of my life for this business. I’m only 30-years-old, yet there are some days when I can’t walk at all as if I was 90-years-old! Where the pain just is too much. You haven’t experienced that. You don’t know that feeling. You don’t know HALF of the things that I do, and you haven’t gone through HALF of the things that I have! There is not one advantage you have over me. None at all. Everything you can do, I can do better. It’s that simple. I am going to win next Thursday, James. Not only because The Lightning Bolts want it. The crowd cheers! THA PUERTO RICAN But simply because I can. And that’s the truth, Ruth. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE PRL laying into James Riggs on the microphone. Tha Puerto Rican stares at JR. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” THA PUERTO RICAN So, what are you going to do now? What are you going to do now that I am staring at you face-to-face? Huh? What do you have planned? What diabolical scheme do you have in the works? Huh? I’m right here. I’m staring you right in the face. You’re looking at your opponent next Thursday right in the eyes standing one inch away from you! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO!? WHAT NOW!? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!? YOU GOT YOUR CHANCE! YOU SAY YOU WANT TO MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF!? GO AHEAD! MAKE AN IMPACT, I DARE YOU! Tha Puerto Rican sticks his right hand in front of James Riggs’ face. He then turns it around and says... THA PUERTO RICAN JUST BRING IT~! JAMES RIGGS … James Riggs turns around and exits the ring. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE What? After all that!? He’s just leaving!? The crowd boos loudly. “JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!” “JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!” “JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!” “JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!” Riggs ignores the chants and simply walks up the entrance ramp. COLE Riggs had his chance to do something to Tha Puerto Rican face-to-face, but he just left! Seems as though SOMEONE is a little intimidated, and it’s not the person standing in the ring! JR stands on the entrance stage and stares at PRL with a cocky smirk on his face. PRL stares back with a serious expression on his face. COLE James Riggs might be regretting attacking Tha Puerto Rican now. He can't just attack him from behind again in front of all of these people and with the AngleTron RIGHT THERE. But he won’t have anywhere to run next Thursday night when he and Tha Puerto Rican hook it up one-on-one in Edmonton! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican starts running his mouth as James Riggs continues standing on the entrance stage doing nothing but smirking. COLE Well, James Riggs got his wish. He will once again be wrestling on the One And Only AngleSault Thread Television Network against a former World Heavyweight Champion AND The Most Electrifying Man In Professional Wrestling in just one week’s time! Another match has been added to The Nerdly Spectacular, an event I am sure Tha Puerto Rican is most looking forward to for obvious reasons! Tha Puerto Rican will be making his much anticipated in-ring return to the One And Only AngleSault Thread taking on former OAOAST X-Division Champion and former OAOAST 24/7 Champion James Riggs in a one-on-one contest! We’ve still got more HeldDOWN~! to come! We’ll be right back in 2 minutes and 2 seconds! Stay with us! Don’t go away! Tha Puerto Rican is still running his mouth at a smirking James Riggs as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. FADE OUT COMING UP NEXT TEAM HEYROSS VS THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS NEXT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 20, 2010 We return from break focused on the announce team who are highlighted by soft orange and white lights. COLE Guess who’s joining us on the sofa for our next match, partner? COACH Academy Award-winner Sidney Poitier? COLE Think younger, hotter and gayer! Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Aw, damnit. Coach’s worst fears are realized as COD walkout to the tune of "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. Things in the arena get pinker and gayer, as the lights flicker from red to pink and the various gay audience members wave their rainbow flags to salute the four time tag team champions. COLE 2010 Anderson Cup Finalists Chicks Over Dicks, welcome to Sofa Central. ALIX Gracias, amigo. COACH Wha…? KRISTA No, Ally, that’s Spanish. We’re in Canada. ALIX Oh right. Bonjour! KRISTA Close enough. HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! The familiar music of the Heavenly Rockers play them down the multicolored lit stage. BUFFER The following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by HOLLY… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Heavenly Rockers shoot COD daggers from the ring. COACH There they are, ladies -- and I use that term loosely -- the men who defeated you once for the gold and will defeat you again at the Nerdly Spectacular, this time for the Anderson Cup… the Heavenly Rockers. ALIX It’s 2010, not 2008, Count Chocula. So they beat us once, props to them. Now they gotta do it again. KRISTA And I wouldn’t bet on it if I were you, Coach. “Shine” by Collective Soul cues. BUFFER And their opponents… total combined weight 485 pounds… 3-time former World tag team champions… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Team Heyross pose as red, white and blue pyro blasts in the background. KRISTA Isn’t this the part where you go on and on about Team Heyross being the most decorated tag team in OAOAST history, Cole? COLE Usually, yes. But I thank you for doing that for me. ALIX Krissy, does that mean we get paid double for doing Mikey’s job? KRISTA Silence does a better job than Cole, sweetie. COACH * DINGDINGDING * Benjamin and Synth get the nod for their respective teams and Benjamin executes a fireman’s carry out of a tie-up. Synth charges into a pair of arm drags and then a drop toehold. Benjamin applies a side headlock but Synth shoves him away. Shoulder tackle floors Synth, who turns onto his stomach as Benjamin shoots off the ropes, only to be caught trying to leapfrog with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Synth rolls away and tags out. Logan swings in over the top and points to Moss. COLE Apparently Logan Mann wants no part of Quentin Benjamin. KRISTA Or Logan’s taking a stand against black on black violence in a desperate ploy to win an NAACP since a Grammy is out of the question. * phone vibrates * ALIX Just got a text from Melody. “Pwned!” Moss tags in and takes Logan down with a go-behind, but Logan escapes and rakes the eyes. The Macho MACHO Mann pummels Moss and then sends him for the ride…but Moss puts on the brakes and knocks Logan straight back with a kick, followed by an STO BACKBREAKER! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moss slams Logan and attempts a Vader Bomb, but Logan gets the knees up and delivers a top rope double axe handle smash! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Logan drives Moss into Synth’s knee and then baits Benjamin inside so he and Synth can double-team Moss in the corner. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Alix, Krista, have you ever been double-teamed by a man? *laughs* KRISTA Hey Coach, have you ever had a dildo rammed up your ass? Because you will in the next few seconds if you don’t shut up! COLE I’d love to see that. And not for any sexual thrill. *nervous laughter* Coach has just been a naughty, naughty boy for a very long time. COACH ALIX Coleminer has a whole new meaning now. COLE Uh… And we have a tag! Thankfully the focus shifts back to the match. Double back elbow decks Moss, and then Synth heads up to the middle rope for THE SKYHOOK ELBOW… BUT NOBODY’S HOME! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Benjamin receives the not so hot tag and cleans house. Moss joins in and all 4 men brawl in the ring. The action spills outside where the Colonel falls into the crotch of Krista! COLE The Colonel going where no man has gone before. Well, not since Ned Blanchard. Repulsed, Abdullah SLAPS Krista! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Krista chases Abdullah around and eventually into the ring, only to have Synth jump her from behind. Synth holds Krista up as Abdullah pulls something out of his pants. COACH Contain your excitement, Cole. The match still ongoing Benjamin tries to sneak up on Synth, but Alix tackles the Synthmeister to the ground and Benjamin gets hit by a FIREBALL intended for Krista! COLE/COACH/MOSS/KRISTA/ALIX * DINGDINGDING * Logan gives Moss a LOW BLOW outside and then shoves him into the RINGPOST. Logan jumps back in and attacks Krista while Holly goes after Alix. Meanwhile, OAOAST officials rush to Benjamin’s aid. COLE All hell is breaking loose. The Heavenly Rockers deliver a pair of PERCUSSION DDT’S on COD, then pose over them as the BRAND NEW theme of The Heavenly Rockers "Khyber Pass" by Ministry plays. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 20, 2010 As we come back to HeldDOWN, we find Biff Atlas, already in the ring, ready for a huge opportunity. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF... AAAAATTLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Biff raises an arm in the air, acknowledging the crowd. COLE Biff Atlas... could we soon be calling him "King Biff"? COACH No. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" As the powering power ballad "Shadows Of The Night" by Pat Benetar powers through the area, I wonder where I left my thesaurus. But more importantly, Landon Maddix powers through the entrance doors with a grandious stride. Arms out-stretched he does a twirl on the stage, as Megan stands behind, hands on hips. BUFFER And his opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by his manager, MEGAN SKYE! From Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, eight pounds. He is the leader of CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL and one fourth of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... LLAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Landon heads to the ring, stopping to allow Megan up the ring steps before him. Which would be gentlemanly, if it wasn't just so Megan could hold the ropes open as he spins into the ring. Throwing back his hair, Landon holds up his makeshift "8-Man Tag Title" belt with a big grin on his face. COLE So this is our final Qualifying Match for next week's King Of The Ring extravaganza, one spot remaining in the tournament. And no doubt, Landon would love to be there. But first he must beat Biff Atlas and whatever you think about Biff, Landon shouldn't be under-estimating him. COACH Why not? Is it possible to under-estimate Biff? Estimating him at all seems like over-estimating, to me. Handing over his belt and ring jacket to Megan, Landon certainly looks confident as he stands across the ring from Biff. *DINGDINGDING* Landon offers to start the match with a handshake, to HOWLS of disapproval from the crowd. Biff doesn't look sure what to do despite the thousands of people yelling at him and decides to take the handshake. Sure enough, his reward is a boot to the gut. COACH Haha, the oldest trick in the book, Michael! This is gonna be an easy night for La Cucaracha, I can feel it. Even Landon can't quite believe Biff fell for that one and he shrugs. Backing Biff into a corner Landon then dishes out a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a second one. Big smile, Landon takes a moment to turn and perform a very regal looking bow, apparantly in the king's mood already. However when Landon turns back around, Biff surprises him by grabbing and then hurling him high into the turnbuckles! COACH Woah! COLE I think that one caught Landon a bit by surprise. Getting his head together, Landon dusts himself off and runs out of the corner, right into a shoulder tackle! Bowled over Maddix rolls underneath the bottom rope and wonders what the heck just happen as Biff is left standing tall in the ring. COLE I told you Coach. You take any opponent in the OAOAST too lightly and you're asking for trouble. Especially Biff, who's not been the same Biff we all know and despair of recently. COACH Yes he is. Once a loser, always a loser. Landon takes his time on the outside, talking things over with Megan and making Biff wait. He climbs back into the ring and this time looks for a lock-up. Unable to match power Maddix quickly goes to the gut again, this time with a knee, then hammers away at Biff with forearms. Irish whip is reversed though and Landon runs into another shoulder tackle. This time Landon doesn't go down. But only because the ropes keep him up, propelling him right back into another shoulder tackle which does knock him down. Cover by Biff... 1... 2... Landon kicks out and scrambles into a corner to get away. Biff is right on him though, clubbing Landon across the chest with a forearm in the corner. And a second. COLE Biff really laying it in. The scary thing is, I'm not sure Biff really knows his own power. COACH I'm not sure he knows a lot of things. With the five count long used up, the referee steps in to move Biff back. Biff wants to keep the pressure on though and brushes past the referee, falling into Landon's trap and getting dragged face-first into the middle turnbuckle by the tights! Boos ring out for Landon, as he stomps away on Biff in the corner before he too is backed up by the referee. COACH See Biff's strong and all. But so's an ox. And they don't call people "dumb as an ox" for nothing. As Biff picks himself up in the corner, Maddix runs in and delivers a leaping forearm smash. Biff staggers out of the corner and a simple legsweep puts him on his back for a pinfall attempt... 1... 2... Kickout. Landon slaps on a chinlock, nodding his head with a confident smile. COACH This is a complete mismatch Michael. I know you're trying to sugarcoat it so people don't change the channel, see what's on Hallmark or whatever, but come on. You've got one of the smartest men in the entire OAOAST against one of the dumbest. It's a no-brainer... and I don't just mean Biff. Fueled by the crowd, Biff gets back to his feet. An elbow to the midsection rocks Landon. So does a second. But Landon cuts Biff off before he can get any more offence going than that, striking him across the back of the head, then attacking the back of the knees with a couple of kicks. Landon hits the ropes with Biff hobbled. Able to avoid a slam attempt Landon lands on his feet behind Biff and quickly hooks a neckbreaker, dropping Atlas's head into the knee instead of the canvas! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Letting him sit up, Landon drills Biff in the spine with a hard kick! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Hitting another kick, Landon turns around to reminstrate with the fans. Biff gets back to his feet, but Landon doesn't stay distracted long. He whips Biff into the ropes and catches him coming back with a picture-perfect Dropsault, forcing the fans to eat some crow. COACH Yeah, who sucks now!? COLE I don't think anyone can deny that Landon is a talented individual. It's just that his attitude and his personality sucks. Landon makes the cover, eventually... 1... 2... No! Back to the chinlock Maddix tries to wear Biff down some more. COLE And these Saskatchewans now trying to get behind Biff. They seem to be okay with the idea of Biff being their King, Coach. COACH Oh please. He'd be the worse King since King Of Queens went off the air. Biff fights back to his feet again and again makes his escape by going to the breadbasket. Elbowing his way out, Biff turns and hits the ropes. Landon tries to cut him off with a clothesline, but Biff surprises everybody by being quick enough to duck the line, coming off the far ropes and knocking Landon down with a running high knee to the face!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And Biff scores with the knee! Is this the opening he needs? With both men down the referee lays a count in. COACH Come on Landon. If you lose this, you'll never live it down! The referee reaches a count of five before both men reach their feet. Shaking off the effects of the knee, Landon balls up his fist, ready to strike. But, Biff blocks and fires back with a right hand of his own! Landon tries again, blocked again and hit with another right hand! Biff starts to unload with rights, but stops to encourage the crowd, opening him up for a desperate knee to the ribs from La Cucaracha to cut him off. COLE Biff got a little too caught up in the moment there. COACH He's not used to beating people up, cut him some slack. Looking a little shaken up Landon turns and hits the ropes... and gets PICKED UP IN A GORILLA PRESS!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! Freaking out, a screaming Landon is slammed back down to earth by Atlas! COACH Oh no! Landon! Biff plays to the crowd again, this time with Maddix hurting on the mat, which is a little more opportune. Building up a head of steam Biff then waits for Landon to pick himself up on the ropes and comes charging... only for Landon to drop down, sending Biff flying over the top rope and to the outside!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!" COACH COLE I don't know how much Landon knew about that, but it was a timely duck out of the way, that's for sure. And Biff looks like he hit hard. COACH He flew, Michael! He really does have superpowers! Landon takes the time to have a breather and clear his head while Biff lies hurt on the arena floor. Eventually he rolls out of the ring and throws Atlas back inside. Landon gives a thumbs up to Megan to show he's okay, then heads back into the ring, via the top rope. Pausing for dramatic purposes, Landon comes off the top with a double axehandle. But doesn't connect, Biff instead catching hold of Landon and delivering a Side Belly To Belly! COLE Here it is! Huge upset! 1... 2... Kickout! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, I thought he had him! Biff Atlas almost pulled off the upset of his life! COACH Would you quit being so bias? Out here, cheering for this goof. COLE If there's something wrong with routing for the underdog then there's something wrong with this crowd as well. COACH Well that's undoubtedly true. Up first, Biff comes off the ropes and knocks Landon over with a clothesline. Biff then looks around, realises he's actually on the verge of winning and signals for the end, unable to hide his surprise. Wobbly legged, Landon stumbles around into Biff, who grabs the former World Champion and throws him up onto his shoulders! COLE He's going for it! Can Biff put Landon away... No is the answer, Landon firing his elbow into the side of Biff's head until he manages to slip free. Shoving Biff in the back, Landon tries to catch him coming back off the ropes with a Superkick. Biff catches the foot though! Throwing it down Biff then tries to put Maddix up on the shoulder again. But Landon slips free again and with another shove in the back, runs Biff face-first into the turnbuckles. As Biff staggers back, Landon then spins him around and plants him face-first with a quick Complete Shot!! COLE Oh... Biff got caught. COACH About time his luck ran out. A dazed Biff tries to get right back up. Which proves his downfall, as he's lined up and SMASHED in the face with a Low Flying Superkick! Unfortunately for Biff he doesn't go down. Instead the superkick brings him up from one knee to his feet. So Maddix quickly hoists him up and delivers another shot to the face, with the GO 2 SLEEP!! COLE A devestating one-two combo. Landon Maddix, clinical in the end. 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* The fans let out a sound of great disappointment, as Biff is finally put down for three. Rolling to his knees, Landon can't hide the look of relief at first, but raises a smile when his hand is raised in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, advancing to the King Of The Ring Tournament... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Suddenly smug as can be, Landon takes a bow and celebrates his win. COLE So Landon Maddix completes the field of eight who will compete in the 2010 King Of The Ring, next week in Edmonton. It will be Landon, Christian Wright, Tim Cash, Colombian Heat, Thunderkid, Denzel Spencer, Christopher Patrick Allen and Baron Windels to crown the OAOAST's first official King and to reign supreme in the land of the OAOAST. COACH A pretty good lineup, if you ask me. There's at least... ooh... four men worthy of being kings. COLE No prizes for guessing who you think those four are, I suppose. Well whoever comes out on top next week will have to earn it, there's no question about that. A single elimination tournament, a test of attrition, that's next week and what a tournament it promises to be. Folks, we will see you next week live from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, for the Nerdly Spectacular. Good night! FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
