NS: AC Finals

[Patty O'Green 0]

We focus on Melissa in the center of the ring, standing inside a golden spotlight.

MELISSA
Ladies and gentlemen of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, it is time for the 2010 Anderson Cup finals!

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

Cue: [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofkpkJeKA5k"]Khyber Pass[/url]

Hard rocking Arab inspired instrumentals break into the Canadian night. The neon entrance stage glows bright and hot with the flashing of multicolored lights. 

COLE
A new sound for The Heavenly Rockers, one we heard on last week’s HeldDOWN~! after their cruel and heinous actions against Team Heyross.

COACH
You always said Team Heyross is the hottest team on the roster, I guess Quentin Benjamin really is :D 

COLE
Folks, we here in the OAOAST Galaxy wish Qunetin Benjamin the best. He suffered minor burns and he’ll be sidelined indefinitely.  However, Team Heyross  has released a statement saying they’re looking forward to payback.

Stepping onto the colorful entrance stage is Synth Abdul Jabbar, in blue truns with white clouds decorating the back.  At his side is the robed Abdullah Abir Nerdly, offering him praise and spiritual betterment ahead of this important content.  Behind them stands Logan Mann and Holly, each well matched in letter pants with bloody swords down the side. Their upper bodies differ as Logan goes topless while Holly wears a tight crimson fishnet shirt over a black bikini top.  Together they form a liplock that could make even Vivid Entertainment blush. Lumbering behind them is Quiz, clad in simple jeans and a pink and black flannel.

MELISSA
Being accompanied by Quiz, Holly, and my brother Colonel Abdullah Abir Nerdly-

“BOOOOOOOO”

ABDULLAH
:firedevil:

MELISSA
They are former Anderson Cup winners in their own right, and three time tag team champions. They hail from Las Vegas, Nevada, Colonel Abdullah Abir Nerdly presents the only rock n wrestling band that matters…..SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR, LOGAN MACHO MACHO MANN, THE HEAVENLYYYYYY ROOOCKERRRRSSSSS!

The evil fivesome cruises down the entrance ramp with Abdullah still feeling the barbs of being booed in his own hometown. As Synth tries to cheer him up with promises of crushing victory, Quiz threatens anyone who dares to insult the holy icon. For their part, Logan and Holly hold each other’s butts and stare lustily at one another’s eyes.

COLE
This is it, Coach, a meeting of All Star tag teams right here at the Nerdly Spectacular. These two men are former Anderson Cup champions looking to repeat against four time tag team champions but Anderson Cup rookies, Chicks Over Dicks.

COACH
You ain’t gonna find a more marquee tag team match than this, Mikey. Its going to be a war.

[font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way, no way!
I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you
I could be your girlfriend![/color][/font]

“YEAAAAAAAAAA!”
[font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]
Hey, hey, you, you!
I know that you like me!
No way, no way!
No, it's not a secret
Hey, hey, you, you!!
I want to be your girlfriend![/color][/font]

The skating rink is illuminated with dazzling multicolored light effects, as a red pyro waterfall spills from the ceiling. A beautiful pink pyro fountain shoots into the sky, romancing with its red counterpart. Suddenly a yellow pyro wall explodes to life, dashing out the other pyro that seems so flimsy in comparasion. The phenomena known as Chicks Over Dicks steps through the entrance doors to a mammoth reception.  Alix sports a furry motif in her attire with a furry white bikini top, furry boots, and white booty shorts. Krista reps Judaism hard with a white booty shorts with the star of david on the back, a white headband with the star of david on front and a tube top with the star of david on each side of the chest. Krista spins Alix around before pulling her adorable girlfriend into her arms. Alix sexily looks over her shoulders and tosses a cute kiss to the camera as super imposed lips sweep onto screen. 

COACH
How do you think Alix and Krista feel knowing that they’re responsible for Shelton Benjamin being fried like Church’s chicken? Do you think they care?

COLE
They, like everyone else, know that The Rockers are the ones who deserve the blame.

MELISSA
And the opponents….first she is the reigning United States champion, the most searched on Google in 2009, the Hollywood Bad Girl….ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAA! And, her tag team partner. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Together, they are your #2 seeds in the Anderson Cup, the incomparable... CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

The beloved duo happily skips down the entrance ramp, arm and arm, blowing kisses and waving to their adoring fanbase.

COLE
This is such a personal match with so many incidents and attacks leading up to it. It may be the most intense Anderson Cup finals we’ve ever had.

Krista showcases her ten million dollar legs to the audience, as Alix stares with tongue wagging at her hypersexed girlfriend. The Heavenly Rockers get a much cruder view as both members of COD offer them a one finger salute.

[b]“DING DING DING”[/b]

Rather than allow Alix to get into their heads early on, The Heavenly Rockers jump the Princess of Los Angeles. Synth is quickly pointed out the ring, but Mann remains and batters Alix with wicked left hands.  He manages to wear her to the ground where he’s able to drop a series of elbows onto the small of her back.

“LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!”

Mann scrapes Alix off the canvas, and fires off left hands. The blows back her into THR’s corner, allowing Logan to apply a tag with Synth.   The Synthmeister enters the ring with powerful overhand punches. Mann holds her arms behind her back, leaving her defenseless against the attacks.

COLE
Referee, get him out of there!

Charles Robinson takes the hint from the announcers and the fans and ushers Logan out the ring.  This does little to assist Alix, who has been mounted by Synth and is being pummeled with punches. Ally attempts to cover up, but this hardly helps her as Synth punishes her with punches. Once through with that Synth brings her to her feet in order to smash her head against his knees. She cries out in pain, etching  a worried look onto Krista’s face. 

COLE
This is not a good start for Chicks Over Dicks, which is odd because they usually start off very well.

With one hand holding Alix in place, Synth makes a tag to his bandmate. Mann enters with forearms to Alix’s face, and then throws her into his corner. Problematically Alix comes to sudden life and begins hammering the MACHO Macho Mann with powerful punches. But Mann shrugs aside the blow to elbow Alix directly in the face. As she staggers away, the Rockers’ lead sing stretches out and makes the tag to Synth. Logan pins her arms behind her back, infuriating Krista and the crowd, but also allowing him to slug Alix in the face. Logan then leaves the ring, and his partner and bashes her face into the top turnbuckle.

COACH
Why attack the face fellas? Why attack that beautiful face?

COLE
I thought you’d be delighted that COD is losing.

COACH
I ain’t delighted when my spank material has got two black eyes!

Synth lunges forward to strike Alix with a lariat. But the plucky diva ducks bellow the strike, and Synth falls into the corner. She batters him powerful punches, until the referee forces her to make a break. Alix abides by the rules, and clutches onto his parted air to drag him to her corner. There a tag is applied to Krista with an eager and enthusiastic cheer from the fans.

“Ya’ll niggas done fucked up now!“ Alix shouts as Krista prepares to enter the ring. And indeed those niggas is fucked as Krista slingshots into the ring and strikes down her opponent with a slingshot dropkick. Unfortunately for Krista her advantage is short lived, as Synth springs to his feet. He wraps his around her svelte waist and drives her all the way into the Rockers corner. He then applies the tag to his partner in rock n wrestling, Logan Mann.

“BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans seethe as Logan steps into the ring. He grabs hold of Krista’s arm and flings her into the ropes. When she returns, he throws a lariat at her. But the fitness queen swings her body beneath his arm. Logan quickly whirls around to catch her, but Miss California lifts him into her arms to set up an atomic drop.

LOGAN
No! No! No!

KRISTA
No you don’t want to me drive your balls through your throat out your mouth?

LOGAN
No! No!

KRISTA
No, you do want me to drive your balls through your throat out your mouth?  Honey, its one or the other, make up your mind!

LOGAN
No!

Holly is growing annoyed by the situation.

HOLLY
You stupid bitch! Drop him!

ALIX
You heard the [i]man[/i]! Drop him.

HOLLY
I’m not a man!

KRISTA
If that’s what the tranny wants that’s he/she gets!

And Krista drops him….right onto her outstretched knee! As Logan is hobbled by the hideous anguish, Krista grabs onto his leather pants and trips him to the floor. She spreads apart his legs leading Alix waxes nostalgic. 

ALIX
Back on the ground, legs spread in the air, and an angry drunk on top getting ready to nail me. Wow, its just like a visit from my uncle Hector.

Choosing to ignore the unwelcome trip down memory lane, Krista leaps between Logan’s legs and crushes his midection with a double leg drop. The rock n wrestling superstar howls in agony, but receives little in the way of sympathy from Krista.

KRISTA
Those legs are insured for ten million dollars, and they just touched your slimy, back acne riddled poorly odored, funky spots in weird places body. Feel honored, 

Bringing Logan to his feet, the two time world champion twists his arms and guides him to the COD corner where a tag is made.  Alix enters the ring, and the girls throw Logan into the ropes. They bounce off the cables themselves and then their tanned legs connect with Triple H style knee strikes.  Logan immediately clutches his face as pain rips across his head.

KRISTA
Well, we took care of Buckwheat, what do you want to do now?

ALIX
Bootysault?

KRISTA
Much too early. Give em the booty now and what we will give them later? 

ALIX
The coochie? 

KRISTA
I really should seriously consider petitioning Morgan to be my new partner. Why don’t we just stomp him?

ALIX
Like this?

STOMP!

KRISTA
No like this.

[SIZE=3]STOMP[/3]

KRISYA
Or like this!

[SIZE=5]STOMP[/SIZE]

KRISTA
Develop a rhythm with it, make it fun. Bring the music to the people for if you don’t who will? Try stomping to the beat of Shout.

KRISTA
[SIZE=5]STOMP STOMP STOMP LOGAN OUT, THESE ARE THE FEELINGS OF A CRAZY JEW, COME ON I’M STOMPING ON YOU COME ON![/size]

Robinson finally gets things under order forcing Kista leave and letting Alix handle Logan. Unfortunately she’s cut off from Logan by Synth who comes in to shove her to the canvas. 

ALIX
Hey, that’s mean!

SYNTH
Look at ma face, do it look like the face of someone who gives a damn? :lol:

Less funny is the fact that Alix punts him in the balls! While the audience loudly salutes this attack, The Hollywood Bad Girl grabs Synth into a front facelock. From there she bridges backwards and removes the threat he poses with a DDT!

COLE
Synth had no business in that ring.

COACH
And Krista had business singing the top 40 hits of the 80’s?

COLE
One is entertaining the other is just a goggle wearing nuisance. 

Alix deals with Logan as effectively as she did Synth, using sharp kicks to batter the Rockers’ lead singer.  Having hobbled Mann her furry boots spring off the ropes and her shoulders rip through his midsection spring board spear.

COLE
Straight Outta Compton!

Alix attempts a pinfall…

ONE!

TWO!

Mann makes the desperate kickout. Wheezing, he’s then brought to his feet by Alix and attacked with a bevy of strikes. Unfortunately she’s halted by the throat thrust Mann attacks her with.  As Alix is doubled over at a loss for breath, the Rockers’ lead singer applies an opportunistic tag to his partner.  Mann then holds Alix into place, as Synth taunts her with light kicks to the head.  After Mann is forced to the apron by the referee, Synth clamps down on Alix’s neck with a facelock. He grabs onto her white booty shorts and raises her into the air before dropping her downwards with a deadly and I do mean deadly vertical suplex.

COACH
The balance of power has shifted, Mikey, hopefully for good.

Figuring that a vertical suplex is enough effort on his part, Synth slaps the outstretched hand of the MACHO Macho Mann. 

“MACHO MACHO MANN, SYNTH WANTS TO FUCK THE MACHO MANN! MACHO MACHO MANN SYNTH WANTS TO FUCK THE MACHO MANN!” the vulgar audience sings.

KRISTA
Well there’s a mental image I was dying to have. Thank you Edmonton, for you have illuminated my day and wet my loins in ways you couldn’t imagine.

Mann delivers a hard European uppercut to Alix, that tosses her onto the second rope. Seizing on her poor position, Logan drives his knee into her upper back choking her on the cable.  This attack only lasts several seconds before Robinson yanks Logan away. The two engage in a heated argument with Logan brutally cursing the offical. This debate distracts Robinson and permits Holly to strike Alix with a vicious slap. 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

KRISTA
Don’t just boo! Throw things at her! Watch! (Krista pulls off her star of david head band and throws it Holly, coming up well short) Okay the object was questionable, but the intent to maim and injure was present, I assure you that!

Mann struts around the ring, hands on his hips and a smile on his face.  He then drags Alix to the center of the squared circle for a pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

Ally makes the kickout, and all of Edmonton is delighted.

LOGAN
You dumb referee, you better learn to count faster!

Having properly insulted poor Robinson, Mann traps Alix within a neck vice.  The pain is immediate but doesn’t stop Alix from trying to wiggle out the hold. In response, Mann tightens the grip and demands her submission. Yet Alix is still able to escalate to her feet. Frustrated by Alix’s tenacity, Mann allows her to go free only tag her with a left hook.  As soon as Alix crumples to the canvas, Mann reaches out to make the tag with Synth.

COLE
Lots of quick tags by The Heavenly Rockers.

COACH
Its smart, Mikey. You never give your opponent a chance to get use to your attack pattern. 

Synth and Logan brings Alix to her feet and then smash her against their knees. Alix cries out in anguish and falls over to the mat. Smiling at the inevitable victory, Synth hooks the legs for a pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

But the victory isn’t so inevitable as Alix kicksout!

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

Annoyed with Alix’s kickout, Synth roughly drags her upright. He brings her in close and slugs her in the chest with a devastating short arm lariat.  Synth cockily dusts his hands off and then attempts a pivotal pinfall…

ONE!

TWO!

Alix with another kickout! Growing all the angrier, Synth traps Alix into a chinlock.  The move does little to excite the audience but it certainly hurts Alix who yelps her distress. 

“LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!”

Alix begins waving her arms, trying to strike Synth with lucky punches and telling the referee she’s still in the contest. On the outside, Holly yells for her to submit and Logan does the same.  But Alix is as resilient as she is beautiful and begins fighting to her feet. Rather than let her make an escape, Synth releases the hold. He then grabs onto the back of her head and slams her downward into the canvas. 

COLE
What a dirty tactic by Synth.

COACH
It’s the Anderson Cup, baby, sometimes you gotta cut corners and bend the rules. Of course only real wrestlers like The Rockers can understand this.

COLE
Are you saying Alix and Krista aren’t real wrestlers?

COACH
I’m saying the truth. 

Synth heads up to the third rope, and rolls his elbow in preparation for a big time attack. On the outside Abdullah celebrates imminent victory with a strange holy dance. Synth smiles at his spiritual guide and then flies forward with the legendary [b]Sky Hook Elbow[/b]. But Alix slides out the way, and Abdul-Jabbar meets with a disastrous crash onto the mat. The fans cheer wildly, and Alix wastes little time in getting to her corner to make the tag to Krista!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Krista’s entrance into the ring is met with a running lariat from the MACHO Macho Mann.  Unfortunately for him, Krista is half a step too fast for him and blows him down with a spinning wheel kick.  Krista then turns her attention to Synth.

KRISTA
Honey, those goggles are sublime, in a company where high fashion is passed off as assless chaps and glittery cowboy hats, you set the trend. You must let me try them on.

More used to being harassed about his snowboarding goggles then complimented, Synth shrugs his shoulders and hands over his eye wear.

KRISTA
Hmmmm…..snug fit, clear vision, and one other thing….

[b]KRISTA HEADBUTTS SYNTH![/b]

KRISTA
They work great for headbutting. Thanks, honey, you’re a dream. 

Enraged at his partner’s humliation, Logan is back to his feet. But he can’t get any revenge as Krista easily traps him inside a front facelock. 

“Life In The Fab Lane!” She calls out, and then waves to the roaring audience. From there she whirls around and sends Mann crashing into the canvas with her version of the twist of fate.

KRISTA
Now, honey, I told you what move I was going to use, and I even stopped to wave to the fans, I did everything but play Beethoven’s 5th on Alix’s dumb kazoo. And you still couldn’t stop me? The school system that the retard bus drove you to everyday has failed you.  And on a greater level its failed America.

Sighing at Logan’s stupidity, Krista hooks the leg for a pinfall….

ONE!


TWO!

Logan swiftly kicks out and retreats to a neutral corner to rethink his errant strategy. Problematically Krista’s high heels are already running towards him. He hastily slides himself out the way, thinking she’ll crash into the posts. He has no such luck as the fitness queen elevates herself to the top rope and flies back at him with a corckscrew moonsault press! Together the rockstar and the walk of famer tumble down to the mat. 

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the audience sings as Krista attempts a pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

However the fall is broken up by Synth! This does sit overly well with Krista, who begins blasting Synth with powerful kicks with her expensive heels. Synth fights back, but foolishly slugs her in his former goggles!

SYNTH
Ow! Ow! Ow!

COLE
Ha! Now you know how it feels!

COACH
So now Krista has goggles and a hard cast!

Krista grabs onto Synth’s arms and smashes his head against her knees in a Triple H style face crusher that fells him to the canvas. Synth rather wisely rolls to the outside to be consoled by his spiritual advisor. However this leaves Logan alone with the beautiful duo as Alix has ventured into the ring.  Logan fires double lariats at four time tag team champions. But is upended by a clever sitout hip toss by the girls.

KRISTA
Duck soup!

ALIX
No thanks, I don’t eat duck. 

KRISTA
Dummy, it means….oh why do I bother to explain the nuances of my subtle genius, lets just shake our asses.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The girls both head to opposite corners and climb up to the top rope, which confuses the booty hungry crowd more than it excites them.  Perched up high, they each toss cute a kiss to the other. Then the raunchy show begins, as their firm delectable ass cheeks jiggle and bounce to enthused cheers of the Edmonton audience!

COACH
Well, I got what I came to see. Wake me up when the Rockers win.

Cutting the booty shaking short, the girls flip backwards to crush Logan with double moonsaults.

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”

Mann hastily and wisely rolls away while Alix is removed from the ring by the referee. Mann slaps Synth’s hand, bringing his partner into the ring. Krista greets him with a leaping sidekick, but Abdul Jabbar ducks the attack. Krista spins around to catch him with her cast covered arm, but Synth drops her with a lightening fast right cross.  Synth then grabs onto her legs and spreads them apart. He salivates over the upskirt view he gets just a bit too much and lingers on his move. This enables Krista to kick him away. Frustrated by the shrug off, Synth runs forward and plants his arab style boots into her sternum. 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans shout as Synth dusts off his hands.

Synth lifts Krista off the canvas, and then hurls her into the ropes. When she returns he hooks beneath her arms and sends her flying over with an arm drag! Figuring that’s enough to keep Krista down, Abdul-Jabbar makes a pinfall effort…

ONE!

TWO!

Krista lifts her shoulder off the canvas, giving the audience a reason to celebrate.  Their mood is tempered somewhat, as Synth begins dropping elbows against Krista’s toned stomach. Next he lifts her off the canvas and shoves her across the ring into his corner. He lays in a few hard elbows for good measure before applying the tag to Logan.  The MACHO Macho Mann isn’t warmly welcomed by the Canadian crowd. He’s even more poorly received when he blasts Krista with a WICKED left uppercut.

COLE
No one is more proficient with the left hands than the southpaw Logan Mann.

COACH
Word, the Heavenly Rockers do one thing better than Alix and Krista and that’s brawl. They brawl well and they brawl hard.

Mann hooks onto Krista’s bare leg for a pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

Somehow Krista finds the strength to kickout. She tries to use the ropes to pull herself upright, but this effort is hindered by Logan repeatedly kicking her in the back.  Mann then makes a tag with Abdul Jabbar and drags Krista towards the center of the ring. In unison with Mann, Synth drops a vicious leg across her neck. Logan quickly scuttles out the ring so that Synth may make the pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

No, Krista makes the kickout! Not wanting her to gain any momentum, Synth holds Krista down with a body lock.  Almost instantly does the crowd begin chanting Krista’s name, willing her to fight towards her feet. Now upright she begins bashing her cast against Synth’s cranium, doing enough damage to hobble the rockstar. With Synth dazed and in pain, she runs to the ropes. The cables push her back and she leaps over her paunchy foe with a sunset flip. The official scores the pinfall…

ONE!

TWO!

Synth pops out of the pin, and promptly begins unleashing on the superstar of the year with hard punches. While she whimpers in distress, Abdul Jabbar brings her off the canvas and roughly shoves her into The Rockers’ corner. There a tag is made with Logan, which does nothing to please the Albertan audience.  

“LOGAN SUCKS! LOGAN SUCKS! LOGAN SUCKS!”

Logan and Synth lift Krista high into the air with dual military presses. After suspending her for several seconds they drop her downwards crashing her stomach into their knees. Krista screams out in pain, and clutches her sore midsection.

COACH
I don’t care how many stomach crunches she does per day that has to hurt! 

Synth parades around the ring, arms raised and mouth spewing cries of victory. While he infuriates the audience, Mann makes an important pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

The audience has a reason to cheer as Krista makes a timely kickout. But their cheers are short lived, as Mann brings Krista to her feet and punishes her stomach with brutal knees. Krista grits her teeth, trying her hardest to tolerate the incredible  pain that rolls through her body.  Logan continues to put the pressure on Krista, grabbing onto her neck and swinging her around with a neckbreaker. Krista’s neck snaps violently off the canvas, and her screams are immediate. 

HOLLY
Yeah! Put that dyke bitch away!

Logan grabs onto Krista’s flowing golden hair, and begins bringing her to her feet. He hooks her into a front facelock and then performs a finger twirl that incites the sold out audience. They watch in horror as Logan dives backwards and crashes Krista’s head into the canvas with a [b]Percussion DDT[/b]

SYNTH
:headbang:

Mann smiles over the misery he’s heaped upon Krista as he hooks her leg for the pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

Krista makes a miraculous kickout that almost brings the audience to their feet.

COACH
I don’t believe it!

HOLLY
Robinson! I thought my husband told your (beep)sucking ass to count faster!

While Robinson lectures Holly on lady like language, Logan takes Krista into a front facelock. Rather than execute his deadly finisher or any other hold, Mann simply chokes away at the two time world champion.  Krista makes every effort her weakened body can afford to fight free of the hold, but Mann’s grip is murderously tight.

“LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” the fans chant led on by Alix. The song of the audience seems to work like wondrous magic and Krista begins fighting upwards. Logan clamps down tighter on the hold, and yells at Krista to abandon her fight. But Krista heeds only the encouragement of the audience and begins driving her cast-ridden arm into his stomach. The blows stun Mann mightily and with each attack, his hold fails him more and more. Finally Logan hasn’t any choice but to release Krista, lest her cast cut through his chocolate skin entirely.  Annoyed with his hold’s failure, Logan lunges forward to quiet his rage. Unfortunately Krista avoids him by leaping onto the third rope and springboarding back at him. Her body flips through the air and her arm with the cast connects with Logan’s head, completing a graceful moonsault lariat!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience along with Alix shouts their excitement.

Krista would like to capitalize on her new found advantage, to dazzle the audience with another show of agility, or simply make a much needed tag. But none of those options are available to her as she’s too weakened to even attempt to move her muscles. 

“LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!”

The audience’s chants are appreciated by Miss California, but even they do little to help her cause.  Alix takes up to performing an Indian war cry to rally her girlfriend. The front row fans beat their hands against the guardrails, doing their part to aid Krista. Abdullah and Holly chastise the audience for their support of Krista, but only cause them to grow all the louder. With all of Edmonton behind her finally Krista begins making some effort to her corner.  Mann finally recovers slightly, noticing Krista’s escape attempt. He clamps down tightly on her ankle, trying with every bit of strength in his body to hold her back. However, Krista’s will to victory is too strong for even Mann to overcome and she continues sliding to her corner.

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”   

Krista makes the tag to Alix! The Hollywood Bad Girl rushes into the ring with Edmonton rooting her on. Her arrival is met by a charging Logan Mann. But Alix takes him off his feet with a stupendous high flipping lariat.  She hasn’t much time to celebrate though as Synth begins blasting her with forearms to the back. His attacks only last but so long, as Alix takes to BITING his nose. While Synth tries to cope with the pain of being bitten, Alix traps him inside a side facelock. Moments later she’s somersaulting forward, bringing him down with the [b]Confessions of a Kristaholic[/b]! The fans erupt with overjoyed jubilation as Alix makes the crucial pinfall…

CROWD
ONE!

CROWD
TWO!

Colonel Abdullah distracts the ref by climbing onto the apron and disseminating his holy views.  This draws the audience’s wrath, but not Alix’s as she simply turns her attention to Mann.  She snags hold of his arm and whips him into the ropes. Holly springs into action, grabbing onto her husband’s boot in order to prevent him from being struck by Alix. Unfortunately this only delays the inevitable; Alix soon charges forth and cracks Logan’s skull with a running enziguri!

ALIX 
Ya-hoooooo! Ten thousand monkey points! 

As Logan tries to struggle towards his feet, he’s seized upon by the queen of the monkey points who chucks him into the far corner. As soon as he lands against the ring posts he must deal with Alix striking him with a beautiful body splash.  His body tries to topple over to the canvas, but he’s held in place by Alix’s headlock. Together they run forward, with Alix stretching out her body to bulldog Logan and strike the oncoming Synth Abdul Jabbar with a lariat!

COLE
Oh what a move that was! What a move!

COACH
There needs to be a little more ass shaking and a lot less ass kicking from Alix.

Alix makes the cover and the audience counts along.

CROWD
ONE!

CROWD
TWO!

This time its Holly interrupting the count by cursing out Robinson.  With the referee back to lecturing Holly on proper decorum, Quiz sneaks into the ring. He aims his trademark big boot at Alix. However the feisty diva ducks bellow the attack and Quiz misses entirely. Stumbling awkwardly, Quiz is easily taken off his feet by a dropsault from the Princess of Los Angeles! While Quiz was defeated without much effort, his presence brought The Rockers much needed time to recover. As such their easily able to grab hold of Alix and capture her inside a double front facelock. 

LOGAN AND SYNTH
:headbang:

COACH
Here comes the Percussion!

But the Rockers’ famous finisher never has a chance to even begin its execution; Krista surges forward and wipes out both Rockers with double diving lariats! 

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”

Krista sends Logan into the corner and follows up with leaping knees to his face! He stumbles out the corner, grimacing in anguish with blood dripping from his mouth. Krista takes up a perch on the top rope, bending over to show a little bit of her fine ass, while Logan struggles to remain upright. She then hurls herself off the top rope with a shooting star lariat that wipes the rock n wrestling superstar out.  Unfortunately for her, she must quickly turn her attention to the fast approaching Abdul Jabbar. But Krista is up for the task and meets his arrival by reminding him Blonds Never Pay A Cover.

COLE
She got him with the side effect!

A pinfall is attempted as the referee discards any adherence to the legal man rules.

CROWD
ONE!

CROWD
TWO!

Holly leaps onto the ring apron to once again distract Robinson. Krista is oddly calm about the situation as she approaches the hostile Holly.

HOLLY
What the (beep) do you want, (beep) carpet munching dyke?

KRISTA
Honey, I have to ask, do you change your motor oil every three thousand miles?

HOLLY
What the mother (beep)? Why do you give a shit?

KRISTA
I don’t really, honey, I’m just giving Alix a chance to do this.

[B]SUPERKICK BY ALIX![/B]

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Logan sees blood red after his wife’s unfortunate dismissal from the contest. He makes a mad dash for Alix, but is caught with a KIDology from Krista! The fans spring to their feet, ready to celebrate the victory, as Alix makes the pinfall on Mann….

CROWD
ONE!

CROWD
TWO!

CROWD 
THREE!

COLE
They got it!

The fans rise to their feet and high five one another as though they themselves were victorious on this magical night. Abdullah sings to his knees and weeps in great sorrow over the heart crushing defeat. Holly’s sadness quickly turns to anger as she begins kicking anything that can possibly be kicked. 

COLE
Chicks Over Dicks with their first ever Anderson Cup coming at the expense of The Heavenly Rockers! You know Team Heyross has to be somewhere enjoying this outcome.

MELLISA
Your winner and 2010 Anderson Cup Champion….CHICKS OVER DICKS!!!!!!!!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience screams like the news were too incredible to be true. Alix celebrates with the exuberance and joy that only belong to an Anderson Cup victor. Krista for her part plays it cool and calm, accepting a Martini to commemorate the victory. 

COLE
Chicks Over Dicks have done it all, record setting four time tag team champions and now 2010 Anderson Cup champions. Does it get any better than this, Coach?

COACH
Does it get any worse than this, Mikey?  A whole new round of sonnings and humiliation are in store for us.

MELISSA
Here to present the 2010 Anderson Cup….Canadian Olympic Hockey athlete and NHL superstar….RICK NASH!

[img=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/96/Rick_Nash.jpg/220px-Rick_Nash.jpg]

The Blue Jackets’ sniper waves to the audience as he approaches a podium on the stage that holds the golden gift of beauty, The Anderson Cup. Standing at his side are Jessie Ventura, Tony Schiavone, and OAOAST legend Tony Brannigan

NASH
It is my pleasure to award Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia with the 2010 Anderson Cup! Congratulations, ladies.

Krista takes the trophy and hoists it high above her head, mimicking a Stanley Cup celebration for Nash’s benefit.  Alix stands with an overjoyed smile dancing across her face. Barley able to contain her giddiness, she applauds and cheers with the roaring Edmonton audience.

NASH
Best of luck to you in your Anglemania tag title match.

KRISTA
Oh, honey, its not us that’s going to need luck.

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” the fans sing as the girls pose for pictures with the coveted trophy.

COACH
This is disgusting. How can these two win the Anderson Cup over real wrestlers? This is like David Arquette as WCW champ. What’s next? Jessica Alba as Heartland champion? Julia Roberts King Of The Ring? I can’t stand for it!