Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We travel to Sofa Central where our announce team, wearing Anglemania football jerseys, sits in an area decorated to celebrate the upcoming PPV event. COLE Welcome to St.Louis everybody! Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I’m Michael Cole sitting alongside Johnathan Coachman. On a night where the world champion Reject will face Baron Windels we have one heck of an exciting show on hand for you tonight. Cue: Stunning the sold out audience, Maya Duncan-Blanchard arrives onto the scene. Even more odd than her solo appearance is that she’s dressed to fight in grey Abercrombie track pants and a white “D*LUX” t-shirt. COLE This is most certainly unexpected. Maya Duncan-Blanchard out here on her own. But for what purpose? Maya walks down the ramp with purpose in her step. She enters the ring and quickly procures a microphone. MAYA Hi, Saint Louis! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA Odd. You cheer me when I say hello, but my own sister gives me the finger. Maybe that’s because I always follow up hello with a combination of the word fat and ass. Anyway, onto business. Last week Spencer Reiger did the unthinkable! He did the unimaginable! He did the unbelievable! He tipped over my bake sale and chili table and ruined the entire thing. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” MAYA I know, right! My school counts on that money! Just because we’re all from Beverly Hills doesn’t mean we have cash growing out of our ears and credit cards up to our arm pits. The school depends on that money so we can have field trips, top notch facilities, and great sports program. And I was the one who everyone was depending on! “Oh Maya, she can get it done, if anyone can do it its Maya” “Maya’s great she’ll raise all the money the grade needs” Well there I was on Monday morning explaining why I raised less money than Trent Kirkwood, the kid who’s famous for eating baloney and worm soup. I was also trying to raise money for the earthquake victims of Chile. I know you don’t care about anyone that’s not staring you back in the mirror, Spencer, but those people need all the help you can get. I was raising money for them, so they could survive, and you took that away from them. You know that makes you? A big stupid jerk! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA Spencer, what you did was like forearming Orville Redenbacher, or rock bottoming Betty Crocker, or pimp slapping Aunt Jemima, or superkicking Mrs.Butterworth. So I’m a wee bit pissed off. Just a wee bit. And if you’re ticked off like I’m ticked off throw your hands in the air and scream Spencer sucks! “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” MAYA Darn tootin! HeldDOWN is a two hour show, so the way I kinda see it is that I’ve got two hours to wait on Spencer Regier. Because I am officially calling Spencer out, and if you want to see Spencer get his BUTT beat like he owes me money, lemme hear another Spencer Sucks chant! “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” MAYA Spencer go ahead and hurry up, because the only thing that’d get me out of this ring is if someone dropped an atomic bomb on me. My name isn’t Hiroshima, so I don’t see that happening any time soon. Now does anyone have a diet root beer for Maya Duncan-Blanchard? As the fans cheer, Maya is passed a cooler of root beer and a chair to sit in. She takes a seat and pulls out a root beer. MAYA (in game show voice) Spencer Reiger you are our next contestant, cooooooome on doooooooooown! “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” MAYA Spencer, I’ve got plenty of time and plenty of root beer. “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” MAYA I swear to god if I have to come back there…. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” To Maya’s shock and a little bit to her consternation, Krista and Alix make their way to the ring, Krista pats her daughter on the head in sympathy as Alix gathers a pair of microphones. KRISTA Maya, sweetie, calm down. Its okay, mommy is going to take it from here. MAYA But mom! KRISTA (sternly) Maya. MAYA I was gonna lay the smackdown on his roody poo candy ass! KRISTA Never talk like that again. Ever. MAYA I was just turning my swag on. Ease up on a sistah. Dang. KRISTA Spencer Reiger, we seem to have half of St.Louis telling you, you suck… “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” KRISTA And the other half wondering what the hell is a Spencer Reiger. ALIX Lesson time! A Spencer Reiger is more commonly referred to as a douchebag, characterized by being a complete waste of sperm and egg! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA Spencer, you’ve been flying under my radar for quite sometime. I apologize that I haven’t made sufficient enough time to give you the proper humiliating and castration you so richly deserve. Tonight, honey, I’m going to make up for lost time. Because you and I are going do a little dance and I’m not talking about the Charleston I’m talking about wrestling…that line sounded better in my head. Much much better actually. Regardless, you can accept my kind challenge to a friendly athletic competition or….there’s a nice little river near by I’d be happy to throw your mangled body into. Just make up your mind quickly; I’ve got a lot to do today. Such as discuss my and Al’s time at the Oscars. I decided to go with something classy, yet sexy, a sensual touch with a bit of spunk. Designed by none other than Versace. Alix on the other hand chose to wear something that look like a Pizza Hut table cloth. Ryan Seacrest quipped “did someone order a personal pan pizza?” He’s a great guy, I love him. Now, the person we were most eager to meet was Anna Kendrick of blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah As Krista rambles on and on about the Oscars we fade to commercial. Thankfully. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT GRUDGE MATCH REJECT Vs BARON WINDELS TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 We return from commercial break with Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo standing in the center of the OAOAST ring. They’re shrouded by a green spotlight while the rest of the audience is bathed in a yellow glow. WRIGHT Dear people, it is with ravishment and jubilance that I do make the honor of appearing on this public spectacle. Yet, I come today not as supercilious foe, or cavalier n’er do well. Instead I stand before thee a humbled soul. Baron Windells hath quarreled me, and flashed his blade in spite of my period of undefeated competition. To say I affixed upon me a look of modest fear whence this transpired, would only disrespect my emotions with extreme understatement. Baron Windells nearly took from me an endless panoply of pomp and merriment with his desecration of my lengthy time of competitive betterment. Know this, consorts, that a moment where my procession of athletic victories is ground to a halt shall never come again. LORELEI What he means is as close as Baron Windells came to ending his defeated streak, he came up short. Just like everyone else who faces Christian. No one will ever, and I do mean ever, get that close to beating Christian Wright again. Trust me on that. WRIGHT Well stated, Madame DeCenzo. My heart beats with the presentiment of you thousands in delirious anticipation of the OAOAST Anglemania. While you observers of this sport of kings no doubt revel in the thought of meritorious athletic competitions, I only have the gift of vision for the Money In The Bank ladder match. LORELEI Yes, you heard correctly, there’s going to be a Money in the bank ladder match at Anglemania. Real original idea, guys. Originality issues aside this match only matters for one person. The winner. And I’ll give you three guesses as to who that winner will be. That’s right, its Christian Wright. No one in their right mind would guess otherwise. Christian has it all! And its all going to come together at Anglemania. Bank on it. WRIGHT The world awaits a new god, and I shall be that god! “Like The Angels” turns the audience jeers into cheers as MARV, dressed to wrestle, and Melody dressed to arouse in daisy duke shorts appear on stage. WRIGHT What in the devil? MARV Bro, that’s all well and good, but don’t count your eggs before they hatch! So you think you’re going to be Mister Money In The Bank? First you gotta qualify….against me! The way I see it is that your ass is grass and I’m gonna do what I do best…SMOKE IT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!“ COLE Its MARV against Christian Wright in a Money In The Bank qualifying match coming up after this! COMMERCIAL The two combatants leap into a lockup to begin the contest. Both men struggle in their fight to overpower their opponent. Eventually a stalemate ensues with both men forced to break the lockup. Wright is frustrated with his inability to overpower MARV and is made even madder when MARV waves him on. COLE A little bit of taunting from the Nerdly twin. Another lockup ensues, but this time its CW gaining the upperhand on MARV by whriling behind him and capturing him into a rear waistlock. MARV is not an easy prisoner, however, and fights with his foe to be free of the waistlock. Eventually MARV wins out and is able to swing behind CW to gain a waistlock of his own. Annoyance immediately registers on CW’s face, as he starts to try and fight free of the hold. He needn’t struggle too much; quickly he’s able to whirl around and snag his foe into a waistlock. But that hold lasts for mere seconds before MARV arm drags him to the canvas. Wright attempts to ground MARV by wrapping his legs around his head, but the skate sensation quickly kips out of the hold. COLE Lots of great mat action here, as MARV looks to one up The Enterprise and get some revenge. Both men speed to their feet, eager to draw first blood. Its MARV drawing first blood by hurling CW over with a side headlock takedown. This highly annoys CW, who begins thrashing and bucking at MARV’s grip. His loafers ram themselves into the side of MARV’s head, causing peppering pain to the Canadian. While these attacks allow CW to get to his feet, he remains trapped inside the headlock. Unable to pull is head free, he takes the only root left to him; he pushes MARV all the way to the corner to force a clean break. “Clean”, however, is not in CW’s vocabulary as he nows pounds his opponent with European uppercuts. COACH The Centennial Man is lighting that no good stoner up! Wright takes MARV down with a snapmare takeover. Not wishing to let the Nerdly boy get to his feet, Wright keeps him grounded with several painfaul kicks to the back. On the outside, Lorelei cheers with delight as MARV winces with pain. Next, The God Child hauls his foe off the canvas. A pair of European uppercuts weaken MARV, allowing Wright to easily whip him into the ropes. But MARV reverses the attack and its Wright that’s sent on a path to the ropes. He returns to a bent over MARV, and is forced to leapfrog him lest he risk impalement. But Wright can’t lay a single hand on MARV as the skater boy rushes into the ropes. Wright expects a low flying attack, and springs into the air for a leapfrog. However, his prediction proves inaccurate as his foe tags him with a dropkick that nails his stomach! “YEAAAAAAA!” As the audience continues their cheers, MARV makes a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright makes the kickout. “BOOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses and finds themselves shushed by Lorelei. While the Money Honey continues to bicker with the fans, MARV finds his way up the rope. He claps his hands to rally the fans, then settles himself on the third post. Moments later he flies off to connect with another dropick to topple The God Child to the canvas. Rather than risk his unbeaten streak, Wright hastily rolls out the ring to remap his strategy. COLE What cowardice by this so called God Child. COACH Wright got your pussy discharging like this? Live your life, son. You’re pathetic. COLE On that crude note, we’ll be back with more HeldDOWN~! COMMERCIAL As we return from break, Wright is in a better position than we found him in before the commercial break. He blasts a corner based MARV in the jaw with elbows before attempting to whip him across the ring. But MARV shifts his weight and hurls CW into the far corner. Rushing ahead at top speed the skater leaps into the air for a body splash. But Wright throws his elbow up as a shield and wards his opponent away with the painful attack. Thinking that he’s secured the upperhand, The God Child runs forth with arms raised to strike down MARV. But the Edmonton native strikes down his foe with the Kickflip (dropsault)! COLE Great move by MARV. What ring awareness to know that Wright would come charging after him. MARV attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright kicksout mere moments before the three count. Exhausted by the attack, Wright staggers to his feet and stumbles to the corner to catch a breath. However, a reprieve is something he won’t get with MARV hammering him with knife edge chops. Once those attacks cease he grabs onto CW’s arm and throws him into the corner. MARV darts behind him, expecting to be able to crush The Centennial Man with a body splash. But Wright slides out the way. MARV is able to make course correction and position his orange boots onto second rope. Unfortunately for him , Wright kicksout his legs, causing him to topple over to the canvas. COACH You wanna talk about ring awareness? That’s ring awareness! COLE These two men battling for a spot in the Money In The Bank Ladder match at Anglemania. Wright pounces on his foe with furious blows that send MARV’s head snapping back and forth like a tether ball. The use of closed fists quickly comes to the attention of referee Earl Hebener, who separates Wright from his victim. Not exactly appreciating the interruption, an annoyed Wright taks out his anger on his foe with brutal stomps to head from his expensive loafers. “SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!” Melody and the crowd try to rally the fallen Nerdly. MARV slowly gets back to his feet, clutching his sore head. Unfortunately his anguish only grows worse as his foe rushes forward to kick him in the stomach. MARV falls to the ground, howling in anguish as Wright gloats over top of him. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” WRIGHT SILENCE! “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Through with bickering with the audience, Wright traps his opponent inside the Wallstreet Cloverleaf! The pain settles in with alarming quickness causing MARV to reach out for the ropes. Unfortunately for him, Wright realizes what MARV is attempting and merely drags him back towards the center of the ring. “SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!” the fans and Melody chant to rally the fallen Nerdly. MARV is in incredible anguish and seems to be on the verge of tapping out. Heaping insult to injury, Wright demands his submission in his typical verbose manner. Yet slowly but surely MARV begins inching his way closer and closer to the ropes. This frustrates CW and causes him to lose all composure as he ends the submission hold. COACH Dang, I thought The God Child had thinks locked up with that Wallstreet Cloverleaf. COLE Full credit to MARV for being able to survive such a deadly submission hold. Wright lifts MARV off the mat, and hooks onto his blue and orange tights. From there he hoists him into the air in set up for a back suplex. But MARV’s superior agility wins out as he’s able to reverse the attack into a lateral press! The referee drops to his knees to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright makes the kickout. Perturbed over being reversed, The God Child rushes to his feet and stomps away at the former tag team champion. He then picks up MARV by his shaggy hair, and snapmares him to the canvas. Seconds later his loafers smash into MARV’s back, throwing out a violent scream from the skateboarder. As Lorelei applauds his dominance, The God Child attempts a pinfall.. . ONE! TWO! MARV pops out the pinfall, bringing out a cheer from the St.Louis audience. COLE MARV is so tough and so strong that its going to take more than a kick to the back from fancy loafers to do in the Nerdly. Wright mounts MARV and batters him with punches. The referee tries to interject himself into the procession of closed fists, but is roughly ushered aside by The Centennial Man. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!“ The crowd manages to do what the official could not, and that’s pull Wright away from MARV. The Natural leans over the ropes and calls for silence, but gets nothing more than harsher boos in return. COACH When will the OAOAST Galaxy learn to appreciate greatness when it appears before their very eyes? The alleged greatness of Christian Wright sees him hooking his opponent into a chicken wing. Lorelei cheers with wild excitement as Wright tightens the hold to cause maximum pain on MARV. The skateboarder screams out as the misery explodes across his body. However, he forces himself to stomach the agony and begins inching towards the corner. Wright holds on with all his might, making the journey to the turnbuckles an arduous one. But MARV finds it within him to create a sudden burst of energy that propels him to the croner. He lowers his body, causing Wright to crash into the top turnbuckle, and destroying the submission attempt. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!“ COLE What a resourceful counter from MARV. This young man has all the talent and the mental tools to take home the Money In The Bank prize. COACH Mental tools? The dude stays higher than Delta Airlines. Wright staggers back towards the center of the ring, causing MARV to believe he’s seized the advantage in the contest. Thusly he rushes forward to attack his foe, but is caught by the devastating Wright Off (sky high)! A pinfall is then made by The God Child… ONE! TWO! MARV makes a crucial kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A very vexed CW rolls MARV off the canavs, tagging him with elbows as he does so. He then hooks him into a front facelock and quickly snaps him backwards with a vertical suplex. He then floats over into a cover… ONE! TWO! MARV throws his shoulder off the canvas, bringing smiles to the faces of Melody and the fans. Those smiles quickly turn upside down as CW locks his opponent back inside the Wallstreet Cloverleaf. COACH Now this is it, Mikey. No way this Canadian junkie makes it out of this one. The fans loudly root MARV on in his effort to reach the ropes. His struggles are wearisome and exhausting as Wright leans back, crushing MARV beneath his weight. Melody beats on the canvas to encourage her brother to fight through the pain. MARV answers the call and eventually finds his way to the cables. COLE He got out again, Coach! Wright is visibly heated as he brings MARV to his feet. His frustrations only grow worse when the skater stuns him with a Jaw Jacker (inverted stunner) Wright stumbles away as the audience cheers his agony. Things continue to worsen for The God Child as MARV blasts him with a leaping heel kick! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the audience cheers as Wright is throw into the corner. He shakes off the ill effects of the hold, and then makes an angry charge at MARV. The skateboarder ducks Wright’s approach and carries himself to the corner where he climbs to the second rope. He then flings himself off the ropes and nails his opponent with a spinning wheel kick! COLE Wright is being given the run around here in the show me state! COACH Christian Wright needs to show me something! Show me he can keep his winning streak alive! MARV hooks both of CW’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright throws his shoulder off the canvas with only mere moments to spare. “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” COACH No it wasn’t you morons! Wright finds his own way upright only to be greeted by two straight kicks to the chest. A leaping roundhouse is avoided, as The God Child runs to the ropes. However, he can’t evade the spinning elbow strike MARV nails him with on the rebound. As Melody and the fans give him “props” MARV makes another pinfall… COLE Could be it! ONE! TWO! CW kicksout the pin, deflating the audience somewhat. MARV brings him to his feet for an irish whip attempt. But CW reverses it and draws MARV in close for a snap powerslam. The referee hits the ground to score the pinfall… ONE! TWO! MARV reverses the pinfall! ONE! TWO! Wright with the kickout! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” MARV heads to his feet and takes a run towards the ropes. He springboards off the third cable, expecting to nail CW with a body splash. But The Natural converts the attack into a Wright Off! COLE Oh man! Wright leans forward to complete a pinfall that’s scored by the referee…. ONE! TWO! MARV with the shocking kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” CW and Lorelei are both understandably furious, but The God Child leaves his business associate to complain to the referee. He focuses himself on pulling the skater boy to his feet. But as MARV is stood up he finds a new surge of energy and connects with powerful elbows to his opponent’s head. With CW dazed by the attacks, MARV traps him inside an inverted facelock! He then takes a run up the turnbuckles for an Acid Drop (Dudley dog). COLE Here comes the big one! But as the move is about to be completed, CW hastily shoves MARV away. The skateboarder lands on his feet and comes charging at The God Child. But Wright sucks him into a front facelock. Next he latches onto MARV’s blue and orange tights and lifts him into the air. From there he throws him forward with the Stockmarket Crash (Gordbuster)! COACH Now that’s the big one, Mikey. Melody recoils in fear and the audience sags visibly as CW makes the pinfall attempt… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall and advancing to the money in the bank match at Anglemania….CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Lorelei enters the ring with applause and compliments for her victorious client. Accepting them graciously, Wright makes the infamous money fingers gesture that symbolizes The Enterprise’s greatness. Melody attends to her disappointed brother as CW is given a mic WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! The audience derides him with negativity while he and The Money Honey celebrate his latest in a long string of victories. COLE Christian Wright has advanced to the Money In The Bank ladder match at Anglemania! Folks, we’ll be back with more HeldDOWN~! on the road to Anglemania after this! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 We return from commercial break focused on a Sofa Central bathed in purple and red lights. COLE Now, we've been passed some reports in the minutes leading up to this show that a number of fans have spotted Leon Rodez, outside the Scottrade Center. Apparantly he was just seen wandering around outside the arena. Now, we haven't seen Leon Rodez since Anglepalooza, where he failed to win the Lethal Rumble of course and we're told that nobody backstage has reported seeing Leon inside the building. So we hope to follow up on that development during the course of this show. In the meantime, let's take you backstage to Josh Matthews. Josh? In accordance with their new name and line-up, the Cucaracha Internacional locker room has been transformed into the Cucaracha Kingdom castle! A plush purple carpet lines the room, a deep red wallpaper scheme with lots of gold ornaments and design features around the room. And overlooking all of this, two regal thrones. One seating Queen Esther, next to her new King, Landon Maddix. Landon wears his purple robe but has the crown sat next to him for now. Stood on either side of the thrones are Faqu and James Blonde, and the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. MATTHEWS Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time, Landon Maddix... BLONDE King Landon! King! Say it! MATTHEWS Sorry. King Landon and Queen Esther. Landon gets a smug look on his face and gazes off into the distance. MATTHEWS Last week was the big coronation ceremony to crown you as 2010 King Of The Ring and quite frankly, it turned into complete chaos. And most of it seemed to be your doing Landon. BLONDE King Landon! MATTHEWS ...King Landon. KING LANDON Joshua, all that happened last week was a glorious occassion. Great celebration. I finally arose to my throne, to rule over the OAOAST. That is all that really matters. Now, granted, a couple of ungrateful, unworthy, unloyal subjects tried to ruin my big moment and they almost achieved it. But in the end, the Cucaracha Kingdom is stronger for having overcome that setback. Last week myself and Queen Esther announced our coming together as an alliance. And we've sorted the nobility from the disability, to create the impossible... the IMPOSSIBLE!... a unit even STRONGER than Cucaracha Internacional were. MATTHEWS A unit which doesn't involve The Last Kings Of Scotland. QUEEN ESTHER Brutes! Heathens! Oh, how at ease I feel not being in the presence of those boarish thuggards anymore! With their shocking haircuts, their foul mouths, their terrible table manners. They way they would throth at the mouth like wild dogs. It would make my face red with shame. Why, they are nothing more than beasts! And a Queen should not be surrounded by beasts! In the background, Faqu snorts. KING LANDON A lady with such beauty and such a fine heart like Queen Esther should never have been associated with people like that. So we rid our Kingdom of them. And we are better for it. MATTHEWS And what about Nathaniel Black? And Megan Skye, who'd been at your side for about 5 years. Landon sighs and shakes his head, gripping Queen Esther's hand for support. KING LANDON Megan has helped me a lot in the past. I don't deny this. But, I always felt that she was becoming self-absorbed. MATTHEWS Excuse me? KING LANDON I expect complete loyalty from my men and my women, Joshua. Loyalty to my cause. Loyalty to my vision! Megan couldn't handle her place in my Kingdom. She looked at my new Queen with envious eyes. And that was bad enough. Then, she laid her hands on my Queen. And that was simply unacceptable. She betrayed the King. And when you betray the King, when you commit treason in the Cucaracha Kingdom, you have to pay the price. Now as far as Nathaniel Black is concerned... he's had the envious eyes for years now. Envy of me. He's just like Megan. He couldn't handle the fact that somebody else was better than him, he couldn't take orders. He thought he knew best. And he committed high treason by attempting to stand up to me. Well, he's got what he wants now. He's going to be forced to forage for himself. To make his own existance, no more handouts from me. But he is now an enemy of the Kingdom. Motioning to Blonde, Landon is handed the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Title belts. The three of them. But no sign of his makeshift fourth. KING LANDON The weak link of our unit has been dealt with. As of this moment, I am officially proclaiming that he has been stripped of his championship standing. Nathaniel Black no longer has any connection to me, or my Kingdom. And that myself, James Blonde and Faqu shall reign officially from this point on as OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions. MATTHEWS Can you do that? KING LANDON Of course I can. I'm the King of the OAOAST. King Of The Ring! King Of Spain! I can do whatever I want. And my Kingdom, my structured Kingdom, can reign over the OAOAST as an unstoppable force. My beautiful Queen, Queen Esther... Esther begins to blush at the compliment. KING LANDON My Knights, The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. My Regal Wrecking Ball, Faqu. My Prince, James Blonde. And myself, as King. We are an all-powerful Kingdom. And heaven forbid anyone who dares to fight the Kingdom. We go back to Sofa Central, with Coach and a sceptical looking Michael Cole. COLE When did Landon get the dictionary? COACH He's a noble man now. Noble men speak with noble words. COLE I'm pretty sure you don't become 'noble' overnight. Although, I'm far from surprised at how quick this has all gone to Landon's head. COACH King Landon! COLE Sigh. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 "Virgin Island Thunder" Victor Perez MATCH Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 We are in the glorious interview lounge TERRY Wow! I can't believe I am hear in the interview lounge with former world champion Crystal. Wow, this is amazing! This is an honor! This is stupendous! Crystal, Crystal, Crystal! CRYSTAL Get a hold of yourself, Terry, before I have to have you restrained. Freak. TERRY Woah, I get enough of that with the new leash Alix bought me. CRYSTAL Pathetic. TERRY What brings you back to the OAOAST? CRYSTAL What brings me back? A very desperate woman named Josie Baker. Like the old saying always go, desperate people do desperate things. I guess you could consider a nice seven figure contract a desperate thing. TERRY Josie gave you that much? CRYSTAL Of course she did! She’s got a problem, a very nasty one, and who better to solve it than the first female to ever win an OAOAST world championship. Of course fine gems like myself don’t work cheap, you do know that. TERRY Did you come back only for the money? CRYSTAL Well now, I’d by lying if I said the briefcase full of cash wasn’t a big motivator. But the other reason I came back is because of the fans. TERRY The OAOAST Marks, you still have a soft spot for them don’t you? CRYSTAL No! I came back because the fans are something I despise. They’re fickle idiots. Forgetful morons. Lambrained baboons! I can think of numerous names for them and they all tell the same story. TERRY What’s that? CRYSTAL That the OAOAST Galaxy has forgotten the name Crystal. No one seems to remember I’m the woman who took Axel to the limit, humiliated Zack Malibu, embarrassed Leon Rodez, ran through that generic lunkhead Hoff. They don’t remember that, and they don’t even care to try! They have their new obsessions, Alix and Krista, all these airheaded Nerdly girls. They’ve all taken the place of Crystal. No one wants to celebrate what I’ve done, no one even remembers it! Its pathetic! I deserve better! I’m an OAOAST legend, don’t you get that? I’ve made history! By beating Morgan Nerdly, at the biggest show of the year, I’ll etch Crystal back into the minds of the OAOAST. TERRY What do you think about Morgan? CRYSTAL I think she’s a sad little girl, that’s in way over her head. This is a mean business and someone like her has no place in it! She needs to be coddled and held, but instead she’s a prime target and everyone wants to take her out. But, don’t expect me to show any sympathy for her because of her condition. Josie’s not paying me for sympathy. I am poised to unleash a reign of terror over Morgan Nerdly. All in the name of my legacy. You think you have problems, Morgan, but your problems have just begun. Do you actually think you can stop me? Don’t you realize there’s some flames tht can’t be extinguished. I’m one of them. Soon you will realize that I am your worst nightmare. I will show you just how serious I am with my threat. Morgan your title will be mine. And when it does I will retire it, and go down as the greatest female performer in OAOAST history. TERRY Thank you for your time, and we'll see you at Anglemania. ANGLEMANIA IX WOMEN'S TITLE MORGAN NERDLY VS CRYSTAL OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLES CHICKS OVER DICKS VS LDC MONEYGANG OAOAST WORLD TITLE MISTER DICK VS REJECT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 We swoop over to OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan atop the world famous interview stage. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the promoter of the only rock ‘n’ wrestling band that matters… COLONEL ABDULLAH NERDLY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Colonel happily makes his way out to a chorus of boos. COACH Please welcome? Doesn’t Brannigan know we’re in St. Louis? A man like the Colonel isn’t welcomed here or pretty much anywhere in North America. Bunch of bigots! COLE Oh please, like that young man’s attitude has nothing to do with it. It’s no wonder he jumped on the Heavenly Rockers tour bus. They were made for each other. The Colonel kisses Brannigan on both cheeks, much to his surprise. BRANNIGAN Sorry to inform you, Colonel… Valentine Day’s passed. But let’s get to the reason why you are here. It’s all because of what occurred on this very program 2 weeks ago. OAOAST FLASH!BACK Krista chases Abdullah around and eventually into the ring, only to have Synth jump her from behind. Synth holds Krista up as Abdullah pulls something out of his pants. COACH Contain your excitement, Cole. The match still ongoing Benjamin tries to sneak up on Synth, but Alix tackles the Synthmeister to the ground and Benjamin gets hit by a FIREBALL intended for Krista! COLE/COACH/MOSS/KRISTA/ALIX * DINGDINGDING * Logan gives Moss a LOW BLOW outside and then shoves him into the RINGPOST. Logan jumps back in and attacks Krista while Holly goes after Alix. Meanwhile, OAOAST officials rush to Benjamin’s aid. ABDULLAH BRANNIGAN Abdullah Nerdly, you’ve gotta be one sick individual to find any humor in that. A man was nearly disfigured for life! ABDULLAH I laugh not at the pain of suffering of one man, but the notion it was intentional. That fireball was meant for Krista Isadora Duncan, as the video clearly proves. Quentin Benjamin was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Abdullah is suddenly spun around and floored by CHARLIE MOSS! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MOSS Funny, so were you. Moss exits back through the crowd. COLE Charlie Moss of Team Heyross with a little payback for what happened to Quentin Benjamin. COACH That's 10 times worse than what the Colonel did, Cole. Unlike the Colonel, Moss did this on purpose. COLE Abdullah's lucky he only took a punch to the jaw. The action continues in just a moment. COMING UP NEXT CHILD WARFARE KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS SPENCER REIGER NEXT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 Returning from commercial we're shown an image of the gateway arch “The World is Mine” by David Guetta blasts through the speakers as Spencer Reiger walks down the aisle. BUFFER The following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and the Chief Executive Officer of THE ENTERPRISE, THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Hailing from Manhattan, New York, one-half of the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… "THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT" of looks, skills and charisma... SSSSPPPEEEEEEEEENNCCCCCEEEEEEERRRRR RRRREEEEEEIIIIIIIIIGGEEEEERRRRRRR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The tag team champions let the fans know how they feel in their own special way. COACH Get a good look at Spencer Reiger, Cole, because that’s a future World Champion. COLE Tonight he gets to go up against a former World Champion in Krista. COACH And he’s gonna make her eat her words. Krista might not even make it to AngleMania when tonight’s said and done. Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time “On Top of the World” by the Pussycat Dolls cues and the crowd goes crazy. BUFFER And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California… her list of accomplishments include being a member of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the 2009 Wrestler of the Year, best selling author, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos and games. Accompanied by her daughter MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD and ALIX MARIA SPEZIA… presenting one-half of the wildly popular Chicks Over Dicks tag team and former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World… KRISTA ISADORA DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Maya handles the hand slapping as Krista power walks to the ring. COLE I wouldn’t want to be Spencer Reiger right now. COACH Yeah, because you’d be force to make physical contact with a girl! Krista charges after Reiger who hides behind the referee. Instructed to back away, Krista reluctantly does so. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and both competitors circle around. Maya unexpectedly gets involved taking a swipe at Reiger’s feet. Reiger retaliates with a kick that thankfully misses, but Krista doesn’t with a REVERSE X-FACTOR! COLE Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey. It’s the big one! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! CMJ/MONEYMAKER COLE COACH The hell just happened?!? * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match in near record time… KRISTA ISADORA DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Alix and Maya jump in the ring to celebrate with Krista, a celebration cut short when CMJ and Moneymaker strike. COLE Hey, come on! The match is over, damnit! COACH That’s what they get for rubbing it in, Cole. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Krista shoves Maya outside for her protection. Meanwhile, LORELEI DECENZO appears on the scene with a pair of SCISSORS. COLE Now what? Alix is struck by the CAMBRIDGE CURSE and then Krista receives a SPIKE REIGER COUNTER! MONEYMAKER Guys, it’s time to give our friends a proper haircut. Reiger tosses strands of Krista’s hair in the air following every snip. COLE This is sickening! OAOAST officials rush the ring but CMJ and Moneymaker keep them at bay, prompting Maya to JUMP on Reiger’s back and CLAW HIS EYES! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Whaaa…? COLE You go girl! Reiger snaps her over and the LDCMG move in. COLE Don’t you do it. Don’t you guys lay a hand on her. She’s just a kid! COACH Aren’t COD for equal rights? Well, CMJ and Reiger plan on treating Maya just like they would a man. Alix returns with a STEEL CHAIR in hand to chase the gang away. Moneymaker and the LDCMG proud of a job well done. COLE The carnage is over… but the damage has been done. COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 PRL PROMO/SKIT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 COLE Apparantly, we're being told that our cameras are outside. And they believe they've caught up with Leon Rodez. Lets go back there, see what's going on. Out in the St Louis streets Josh Matthews is heading off in pursuit of someone in the distance, microphone in hand. The cameras approach the figure hunched over in the distance and find Leon Rodez, hidden under a black hoodie, sat on the edge of the pavement. MATTHEWS Leon! Leon... what are you doing out here? Glancing out from under his hood Leon glares at the camera and puts his head back down. LEON I'm not doing a thing. MATTHEWS Well, where have you been these past few weeks? And why are you sitting in the dirt? The show's inside, we've been going for about 45 minutes already.... LEON I don't care about your 'show'. I don't care about your cameras. I don't care about this interview time you're apparantly giving me. Leon peels back his hood and looks fairly bedraggled. His hair is a mess and there are bags under his eyes. LEON As of now, I'm not a part of this show anymore. So you're wasting your time. You want to know where I've been? Blame Josie Baker. I am an outcast. I am being denied what is mine... a shot at the OAOAST World Title... the only thing in that arena worth my time and effort. Until I get what I want, the OAOAST do not get me. Call this a strike. Call it a protest. I don't care. Until Josie Baker treats me fairly and gives me my title shot, I am boycotting the OAOAST. No matches... no interviews... nothing. If Josie wants to sue me for breach of contract? Fine. Money is immaterial to me. There's only one thing Josie can do to get me back inside. And she knows exactly what that is. You won't see me inside an OAOAST building until I am sure my demand is met. End of story. MATTHEWS But, Leon, you realise that Anglemania is less than two weeks away, don't you? The biggest show of the year. Looking unconcerned by this, Leon merely shrugs his shoulders. MATTHEWS Okay. Well, what about Morgan? You realise that she's being targetted by Crystal, who you've got a history with yourself. What about Morgan? LEON ...Morgan can handle herself. MATTHEWS Can she? I don't know, Crystal is... LEON Morgan's problems are Morgan's problems. She'll understand. Leon puts his hood back up and shuts Josh off, leaving the interviewer to wisely give up. MATTHEWS Alright guys, I don't think we're going to get much more out of Leon here. Back to you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 We return to ringside as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy cues and Baron Windels jogs down the aisle slapping hands. BUFFER The following NON-TITLE match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by fellow Citizen Soldier TIM CASH… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BW poses on the middle turnbuckle. COLE About set to go with a grudge match between Baron Windels and OAOAST World Champion Reject. COACH It seems BW is a little butt hurt over the comments made last week by the World Champion. COLE They say the truth hurts, but what Reject said last week was false. Baron isn’t weak, he just strongly believes in giving somebody a second chance. “Final Ride” by TRU hits as the stage is lit silver for the World Champion’s entrance. BUFFER His opponent, accompanied by fellow DEADLY ALLIANCE member THUNDERKID… from the Bronx and weighing in at 230 pounds, the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… RRRRRREEEEEJECT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE This is of course a non-title match, but the title will be on the line when Reject defends against Mr. Dick at AngleMania IX, Sunday night, March 28 live exclusively on pay-per-view. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Mr. Dick sprints down the aisle but is quickly swarmed by OAOAST officials. COACH Speak of the devil. COLE Mr. Dick doesn’t want to wait until AngleMania. He wants Reject now. COACH We’ll be looking for a new challenger if that happens. Reject maintains a safe distance from MD, opting to let OAOAST officials handle the situation. BW decides to take matters into his own hands and tosses Reject inside. * DINGDINGDING * Staggered by Cowboy Bebop elbows, Reject is whipped across for a BAAAAAACK body drop! COLE Baron Windels doesn’t look so weak now, huh, champ? BW plays to the crowd before hammering Reject in the corner. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!! Reject wobbles out and gets clobbered by a boomerang lariat! COLE MySpace Comeback! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reject reverses a whip but charges into a BIG BOOT! BW signals for a BULLDOG, but Reject uses BW’s momentum to CROTCH him on the middle turnbuckle! BARON COACH Say hello to the newest member of the OAOAST glee club, Cole. He’ll be hitting those high notes with ease after that. Reject drags BW away from the corner and stomps the holy hell out of him, all while shouting “DICK! DICK! DICK!” COACH The World Champion sending a message to his opponent at AngleMania, Mr. Dick, Cole. Reject executes a snap suplex, followed by a knee to the throat. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The champ rams BW into the buckle and capitalizes with a series of RVD-style kicks, but BW fights back. Sent for the ride, Reject leapfrogs BW and clotheslines him on the top rope ala Randy Savage! COLE Vintage Reject! Reject poses on the apron before delivering a MISSLE DROPKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reject places BW in a headlock as Tim Cash rallies the crowd behind his partner. Meanwhile, Mr. Dick is seen viewing the match backstage on a monitor. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Fueled by the support, BW fires a round of back elbows to escape Reject’s clutches only to run into a knee to the gut. Reject lifts BW to his feet for a GERMAN SUPLEX, but BW counters with a RUSSIAN LEGWEEP! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Too weaken to make the cover, BW uses the ropes to pull himself up and shakes off the cobwebs. He and Reject then come to blows, with BW getting the better end of it. Thumb to the eyes puts a stop to BW’s momentum, and then Reject looks to put him on his back courtesy of a FISHERMAN’S BUSTER… but BW floats over and hooks reject for the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT. COLE If Baron hits this it’s all over. But he doesn’t thanks to a LOW BLOW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Chain reaction. COLE Chain reaction my ass. That was a deliberate low blow. Reject then delivers BW’s EULOGY~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… RRRRRREEEEEEJECT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" His arm raised in victory, Reject stuns everyone by offering Tim Cash a handshake. COLE Are you kidding me? COACH Who says Reject is a bad guy? Like the good guy that he is, Cash accepts and receives a EULOGY!! COLE That right there! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Unable to hold back any longer MR. DICK storms the ring. He decks TK and chases after Reject, only for SANDMAN9000 to take him down. Reject then goes to grab a STEEL CHAIR as TK and Sandman put the boots to MD. COLE We’re running low on time, ladies and gentlemen. And we have a brutal assault taking place in the ring. BW struggles to his feet and gets jabbed in the gut by the chair, then walloped across the back. Reject’s sights next turn to Mr. Dick whose arms are restrain by Sandman and legs spread by TK. COACH This takes busting somebody’s balls to a whole new level, Cole. Reject cocks the chair. COLE And we’re out of time! © 2010 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved. MR. DICK FADE TO BLACK. COLE OH, MY! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
