OAOAST Syndicated 3/17/10

[Patty O'Green 0]

 

OAOAST Syndicated!

 

With

 

 

SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

 

AND

 

 

HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

Brought to you by American Express

 

***Denzel Spencer Vs Christopher Patrick Allen W/Detective Bosley***

 

A king of the ring rematch with Money In The Bank implications kicked off Syndicated. With revenge as a motivator, CPA took pleasure in pummeling Denzel at the onset of the contest. However this advantage was short lived as Denzel came back with karate inspired kicks to out brawl the bigger Allen. The match spilled to the outside where the fearsome Ohioan took control after ramming Denzel face first into the ring posts. CPA skirted the limitations of the rulebook as he used chairs and wires to deal damage to his opponent. Avoiding the DQ CPA sent Denzel back into the ring where he worked over the Jamaican. But the Heartland Champion was able to weather the violent storm and came back with ferocious intensity against CPA. The two men traded blows until CPA scooped up Denzel for the Dominator. But Denzel rolled through to gain a shocking pinfall and entry into the Money In The Bank match at AM.

 

Winner: Denzel Spencer, via pinfall

 

Post match Maggie Nerdly caught up with the victor, who promised to break through the glass ceiling and capture the Money In The Bank briefcase en-route to becoming OAOAST World Champion. It was also noted that Sandman and PRL had qualified for the MITB at non-televised events as well. Which is cool because then I don't have to write anything. Yeaaaaaahaaaaaaawwwwww!

 

Vinny Valentine came out and convinced Maggie to give him some interview time. He claimed his US Title match defeat against Alix came because of Biff Atlas. This ludicrous assertion was brought on by the idea that Vinny was wrapped up in proving to the world he carried Biff Atlas in their team and that Biff had no superpowers. He vowed to show himself correct at the biggest event of the year Anglemania IX as he would meet with Biff Atlas in a one on one contest. Biff Atlas at Anglemania? Yes, America, miracles do happen!

 

Alix and Maya sat down for an interview with one Theodore Moneymaker! Not exactly welcome by the pair Moneymaker was embroiled in a brief argument as to whether or not allegations of sheep molestation had valid grounds. Once that was cleared up, Moneymaker explained the reason for Maya’s bake sale destruction and the attempted haircut of one Krista Isadora Duncan. He explained women needed to know their places, lest they start thinking things such as voting, and driving, and chosing who they want to marry are actual options for them. He also said COD doesn’t listen to words only to actions. Thusly he promised Alix actions could get a lot more heated in the weeks leading up to HeldDOWN~! Anglemania. Sorry typo!

 

***French New Wave (Sophie and Molly) Vs Karen Dreams and Tanya Bluster***

 

Sophie returned to the OAOAST after a bit of a lay off with vigor and spice! She took a fierce fight to the large Bluster, showing little signs of ring rust. She and Molly performed excellent double teams that kept their foes guessing and off guard. Several near falls occurred as a result of their shrewd tactics. However things went awry when Sophie missed a top rope body splash on Dreams. From there the larger tag team took over, pounding Sophie in their corner. However, the French girl was resilient showing little signs of quitting. Eventually this resolve paid off as she was able to apply the tag to Molly. The inexperienced team of Dreams and Bluster were no match for the combined efforts of French New Wave, and they quickly fell victim to Molly’s Final Cut.

 

Winner: French New Wave, via pinfall.

 

Back in Los Angeles, Alix and Maya returned with an interview with repeat guest, the world famous Molly Nerdly look alike Kristen Stewart! Kristen dicussed her upcoming projects and the DVD release of New Moon with Maya, while Alix attempt to smash open a rubix cube, believing that the secret of life was contained inside. Or at least a really funny dirty limmirick. Alix wondered if Kristen had any arch enemies. Kristen couldn’t think of any, but that didn’t matter to Alix who proceeded to tell us about her arch enemy, Clarence Witherspoon. “A guy named Clarence started living in the supply room in this studio, he said he had squatters rights. I went in for some staples and he said he'd knife fight me for it. Little did he know I run a knife game like OJ. Cut that dude up like a fillet of fish, tossed him a quarter and told him to catch the bus to Canada and get some free health care cuz his ass got tore da fuck up!”

 

Reject, Thunderkid, & Sandman9000 vs Mr. Dick, Baron Windels & Tim Cash

 

The participants in the AngleMania IX main event got together with their associates for a big-time six-man tag team match. MD's team gained the early advantage, as they worked over TK in their corner. However, Sandman was able to land a shot from the apron into the back of Cash, turning the tide. The DA squad did a similar number on Cash, until Sandman missed a moonsault. Cash crawled to his corner, but the referee missed the tag to MD due to Reject's distraction. Reject spat at MD as the referee tried to put him out, enraging him and allowing a prolonged 3-on-1 assault in the corner. Moments later, Cash took advantage as TK put his head down, delivering a kick and making a quick tag to Baron, who was a HOUSE AFIRE, unloading with haymakers and big elbows, then getting a two-count on TK with a Myspace Comeback. A six-man donnybrook breaks out, which ends with all three DA members being whipped into each other, followed by MD hitting TK with the COCK BLOCK~!!!!!11111 and scoring the win for his team

 

WINNERS: Mr. Dick, Baron Windels & Tim Cash

 

Reject sends Cash into the steel steps outside, as Baron and Melody raise Mr. Dick's arms, but MD takes a knee to the back from Sandman and is sent outside. Baron and Sandman tangle in the corner, as Reject slides in behind Melody, then spins her around and drops her with a EULOGY~!!!!!11111 Sandman slips to the outside, at which point Baron turns around and sees Melody unconscious, dropping to his knees to check on her. A concerned Cash slides in as well, followed by Mr. Dick, who leans against the ropes nearest the aisle, staring down the smirking Reject as he and his DA partners retreat down the aisle.