Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- Put the party on hold though as we find ourselves stationed outside the back door of the arena. There waiting stands JOSIE BAKER, flanked by the arena's security team. As Josie stands with her arms folded impatiently, the door opens and the security team stand their ground, surrounding the door, blocking the entrance of LEON RODEZ, who carries the OAOAST Money In The Bank briefcase. JOSIE Hold it right there, Leon. Stopped in his tracks, Leon scowls at the security, who are ready incase he makes any sharp moves. JOSIE Now, are you going to hand that thing over, or are you going to play stupid? Leon, much like the security, stands his ground. JOSIE Alright, fine. Get the case. Giving the order, Josie watches as two of the security guards step forward and ask for the case to be handed over. Leon just stands there. So, the guards resort to brute force and grab the case... and find themselves unable to wrestle it away. Leon continues to stand, barely moved by this attempt to steal what he's stolen. Instead he stares straight at Josie, as the security guards back off. They turn to Josie as well, waiting for her to notice, under Leon's sleeve, the briefcase HANDCUFFED to Leon's wrist!!!! LEON Not so stupid after all, am I? Leon breezes past the guards, Josie too stunned to give them any orders to stop him. She looks dumbfounded for a moment, then snarls, angry at being one-upped. We're taken directly to sofa central where Michael Cole and The Coach sit wearing Orange HeldDOWN~! polo shirts. COLE Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! ladies and gentlemen! I am Michael Cole joined by Johnathan Coachman to call the action as it happens in The Nation's Capital! And what a sure we have tonight. COACH Word, we've got the debut of Victor Perez, plus the Orange County Cobras will be in action and we'll hear from world champ and new tag team champ Mister Dick. COLE And in our mainevent, Landon Maddix seeks Heartland gold against Denzel Spencer TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT HEARTLAND TITLE LANDON MADDIX VS DENZEL SPENCER TONIGHT "Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, creating a dark mood over the arena. Boos ring out as Leon Rodez emerges through the entrance way. Dressed in a plain black zip up jacket and jeans, Leon stalks down the aisle, clutching in his arms the Money In The Bank briefcase, still handcuffed to his arm. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... LLLEEEEEEOOOONN RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Not a warm welcome, but the welcome you'd expect for Leon. Coming to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Leon looks down at the briefcase in his hands, then up to the skies as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static. "I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Leon carries on to the ring, briefcase hanging from the cuffs as he climbs up the ring steps. COLE As of last week, we thought we had seen the back of Leon Rodez. He had walked out on the OAOAST, a protest strike against the fact he is no longer in line for an OAOAST World Heavyweight Title shot. And we thought that was a desperate measure. But it turns out, we hadn't seen anything yet. AngleMania IX, we saw the most desperate of desperate measures. Leon Rodez sat in the crowd, biding his time, waiting for the eight competitors in the Money In The Bank Ladder Match to pick each other apart, before running in and STEALING the Money In The Bank briefcase! In a match he wasn't even in, Leon climbed the ladder, grabbed the briefcase and robbed the bank! Huge controversy and controversy which still hasn't been cleared up! COACH Everybody thought he'd given up, thrown in the towel. And he was one step ahead of everyone. Leon demands a microphone and stands in the centre of the ring, holding the briefcase in his other hand and scowling at the fans. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Going to speak, Leon is stopped by the chants. COLE This crowd not too happy with the way Leon Rodez stole that briefcase. LEON You people can boo me... you can yell at me... and you can call me every name under the sun. I... don't... care! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LEON And you can all say what you want about what I did at Anglemania. All the "rules" I broke. You can preach about morality. Right and wrong. And I don't care about that either! Because I've been on the recieving end of the wrongs for far too long now. So, you'll forgive me if I don't feel sorry for Alfdogg. Or for Baron Windels. Or for Tha Puerto Rican. You'll forgive me for not feeling guilty about what I did. Because, people say... two wrongs don't make a right. But I've had more than one wrong done to me lately. A well-timed shot of a fan holding a "CRYBABY LEON" sign is thrown in mid-whine. LEON See, ever since I had the OAOAST World Title stolen from me, I've been frozen out. Josie Baker has been victimising me. Just like she's been victimising Morgan. Picking on the vulnerable. Kicking us while we're down. So, you'll forgive me if you think what I did at Anglemania was... "unfair". Was it "fair" when I was robbed of my title? Was it "fair", when I didn't get my rematch? Was it "fair" when I was forced to qualify for the Lethal Rumble? It wasn't fair. Life isn't fair. But sometimes... sometimes, you get on over on life. Sometimes an opportunity comes along... and you take it. Because you know life isn't going to give you anything. You have to take it. Steal it from under somebody's nose. They'd do the same to you. Fair or not. Leon looks down at the briefcase again. LEON Do you people realise... the damage this briefcase has done? Leon thrusts the briefcase forward into the camera. LEON Do you people realise the anguish this damn briefcase has lead to!? Everything that's gone wrong for me this past year! It's ALL because of this briefcase! It was because of THIS briefcase that Krista... Krista was able to ruin the one, brief moment of happiness I had last year, stealing my World Title the same day that I won it!! It was because of THIS briefcase... that Reject was able to steal the title from under my nose, right when I was about to get my revenge on her!! It's THIS briefcase! So don't TELL me what's fair and what's not fair about this! This briefcase can't ruin my life anymore! It can't hurt me anymore! Because it's MINE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LEON And whether you like it, or you don't like it... there's nothing anybody can do about it! Leaving the ring, Leon goes over to the announce table and slams the briefcase down in front of Michael Cole. Flipping it open Leon demands a pen, which Coach timidly hands over, having it ripped out of his hands. Suddenly, Josie Baker appears on the stage, backed up by the security from earlier. COLE Here's someone who might have something to say about that. JOSIE That's where you're wrong, Leon. That isn't your briefcase, it's not your contract and you won nothing on Sunday. So I suggest you stop this, right now. LEON Oh, I've only just begun, Josie! Tired of the games, Josie sends the security down to ringside. Frantically, Leon scrawls his signature on the contract inside, to another chorus of boos. He balls the contract up, throws it in the briefcase and locks it back up, then wards off the security while he slides back into the ring. LEON Mine or not, it's got my name on it. And as for your goons... Leon holds up his hands, showing off the handcuffs tying the briefcase to his arm, jangling them about for effect. LEON ...I'd like to see them get it off me. Unless you feel like sawing my arm off at the bone, I suggest you get used to this. JOSIE Well, I suggest you don't get used to it, Leon. Because you didn't win that briefcase, so you have no right to a title shot, no matter what you've scrawled on that contract. And I can get this issue sorted very easily with OAOAST management, to ensure that that contract isn't worth the paper it's written on, so long as your name is written on it. Leon looks up at Josie from the ring... and if you didn't know better, you'd swear that a smile was forming on his face. Josie seems taken aback that Leon wouldn't be taking her threat seriously. JOSIE You don't believe me? Try me. LEON Try you? No, Josie, you try me! See how that works for you. The way I see it... possession is nine-tenths of the law... and the other tenth? You're going to struggle to get that. You think the OAOAST are going to listen to you on this? Fine. Go to OAOAST management. Go to the courts. Go to wherever. I'm not worried. Not one bit. By the time I cash this contract in, you'll still be pleading your case. Your credibility is shot, Josie. I'll fight you all the way. And do you really want to start that fight, Josie? After all, what was it you said on Sunday... "the OAOAST is unpredictable"... "sometimes you have to shake up the status quo"? Realising her own words are being used against her, Josie begins to get a sinking feeling. LEON That's spin. Manipulation. I can do that too, Josie. Sure, I wasn't in the match and I grabbed the briefcase. But, I shook up the status quo by doing it. No different from you giving someone winning a Women's Title... when they weren't even supposed to be in a Women's Title match. No? Unless you think OAOAST management would see things differently. In which case, go ahead. Go to them. I've got nothing to lose, Josie. What about you? Josie sticks her hands on her hips, shaking her head. She mulls things over as she leaves, while Leon continues to grip the briefcase defiantly in the face of the leaving security personnel. COLE So, let me get this straight. Leon Rodez has the Money In The Bank briefcase... but he didn't win it. Josie Baker wants to take it back, but can't. And if she goes to the OAOAST's management, she's going to have to answer for her own actions, as it regards to the Women's Title situation and Morgan Nerdly. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Leon Rodez may have Josie Baker backed against a wall here. He holds all the power! COACH Yeah, but what's Josie gonna do about it, that's what I wanna know! COLE We may find out, later tonight! COMING UP NEXT VIRGIN ISLAND THUNDER VICTOR PEREZ DEBUTS NEXT COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first. Already in the ring. From San Jose, California. Weighing in at 230 pounds. MICHAEL ANDERSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN! Michael Anderson, a young 5’8” Caucasian male with semi-long black hair, brown eyes, a white bandana around his head, yellow elbow pads, white wrist tape, long black tights with yellow vertical and horizontal stripes and white wrestling boots, raises his hands in the air to no reaction. He throws his hands up in response. by Big Pun featuring Tony Sunshine starts playing over the P.A. system. [Tony Sunshine] Ooooooooooohhhhh… Puerto Rico [big Punisher] Toma [Chorus: Tony Sunshine] [Pronto llegara] El dia de mi suerte Te lo juro por mi gente Te juro que un dia llegara And we won't stop We always knew we'd make it Even though you player hated we still made it to the top [big Punisher] Puerto Rock Puro, not Menudo no I'm not the one I'm studyin’ Judo, judo know if I got a gun It's Pun, from the X side of things, baguette inside my rings Everything I want I gets, bada-BING It's mine I Shyne like money that sound like Biggie Fuck around my town, Boogie Down my city Come around get pound, to the ground no pity Watch the sound, fo'-pound twenty round milli' Get smacked silly, for coming out your mug I'm known for bouncin’ thugs from the Tunnel to the Salsa clubs Don't matter, put the chrome to your bladder Splatter your abs, have you pissin’ in a plastic bag That's a drag now you abnormal Don't make me go out to rumble, and put some motherfuckin stabs on you The night is young and I'm already fightin’ hidin’ my gun Promoter buggin’ screamin‘, "Who the fuck invited Pun?" [Chorus: Tony Sunshine] [Pronto llegara] El dia de mi suerte Te lo juro por mi gente Te juro que un dia llegara And we won't stop We always knew we'd make it Even though you player hated we still made it to the top The entrance doors slide open, and it is revealed that this entrance theme belongs to Tha Puerto Rican’s brother, “Virgin Island Thunder” Victor Perez! The crowd pops for Victor’s appearance. Victor looks thrilled to be finally making his OAOAST TV debut, as he jumps up and down on the entrance stage. He flashes a peace sign and plays to the crowd some more before walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 208 pounds. Making his OAOAST Television debut. He is “Virgin Island Thunder” VICTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR PERRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Victor’s ring attire consists of long light blue tights that have a Puerto Rican flag design on both sides, the word “QUAGMIRE” written on the waist in gold letters, “Nunca Te Rindas” written on the rear in gold letters which is Spanish for “Never Give Up”, white wrist tape and red wrestling boots just like ones Tha Puerto Rican wears. He comes to the ring wearing a Crucifix around his neck and a black unbuttoned collar shirt that has the Puerto Rican flag stitched onto the left side above the left breast pocket. COLE This young man, at 24 years of age, making his OAOAST debut! The brother of former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Out of fear of Tha Puerto Rican watching this, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut. COLE Good idea. You should keep it shut for the rest of the show! You never know when PRL stops watching this program! Victor makes sure to slap hands with everybody at ringside before stopping at the ring steps, crossing himself, and then running up the ring steps so that he can climb onto the ring apron and hop into the ring. Victor flashes another peace sign to a cheering crowd, and then pumps his fists, clearly excited for this moment as “100%” continues playing. COLE A lifelong dream about to be fulfilled. Victor Perez following in his big brother’s footsteps by stepping into an OAOAST ring for the first time tonight! Victor removes his shirt and hands it over to a ringside attendant. He then removes his Crucifix, kisses it and then hands it over to the same ringside attendant. Perez stretches on the ropes while referee Andrew Thomas pats down Michael Anderson. The referee then pats down Victor. After going over the rules one last time, Andrew Thomas calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* “VIRGIN ISLAND THUNDER” VICTOR PEREZ vs. MICHAEL ANDERSON “100%” by Big Pun featuring Tony Sunshine dies down. Perez claps his hands in order to get the fans to clap along. The fans do so. COLE And here we go. The first match in the OAOAST career of Victor Perez is underway! Victor and Michael circle each other. They lock up. Both men jockey for position. Victor grabs a headlock on Anderson. He cinches the hold tight. Anderson walks with Perez back into the ropes and then shoves him off into the opposite ropes. Victor fires back with a shoulderblock which knocks down Anderson to a pop! Victor then bounces off of the ropes, jumps over Anderson, bounces off of the opposite ropes, and nails Michael with a spinning wheel kick to another pop from the crowd! Victor poses to cheers! COLE And Victor Perez is rolling in the opening minutes of this contest! Victor goes for a cover. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP! Perez picks Michael up and seats him on the mat. He measures Anderson up and then hits him with a STIFF~! kick to the back with his right foot that is heard all over the arena! He hits Anderson with another STIFF~! kick with his left foot that causes the crowd to groan! One more kick to the shoulder blades with his right foot has the crowd (and Michael) groaning. “Virgin Island Thunder” bounces off of the ropes and hits Michael with a front dropkick to the face! Victor covers Michael. He gets a two count! COLE Victor able to keep the also-young Michael Anderson down on the mat! Perez picks Anderson up off the mat, getting elbowed in the gut as he does so. Anderson punches Victor in the gut as he’s getting up. Michael Anderson does several European Uppercuts to Victor Perez, hurting the rookie. COLE And now Anderson is in control. Michael Anderson gives Perez an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. He follows that up with a jumping back elbow which knocks Victor to the mat! Anderson goes for the cover. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP! Anderson applies a chinlock on Victor. He trash talks while doing so. Andrew Thomas checks on Victor as the crowd starts rallying behind him. “VIC-TOR!” “VIC-TOR!” “VIC-TOR!” “VIC-TOR!” COLE The crowd showing support for Victor much in the same way that they support his older brother! Anderson knees Perez in the back several times. He then picks Perez up. A whip into a corner is followed by a clothesline that rocks Perez! Anderson whips Perez into the opposite turnbuckles, but Perez is able to stop in his tracks, grab ahold of the top turnbuckle, jump up when he sees Anderson charging towards him, land behind Anderson when Anderson stops himself from crashing into the turnbuckles, and when Anderson turns around, nail him with repeated kicks to the thighs and midsection! COLE Victor going to work on his opponent! Victor whips Anderson into the ropes--Anderson reverses, Victor bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, jumps off of the mat and somehow manages to wrap his legs around Michael Anderson and give him a hurricarana! COLE Unbelievable! Victor Perez able to do a hurricarana out of nowhere! Amazing! Anderson gets back up quickly and goes for a clothesline. Unfortunately for him, Victor is able to do the MATRIX DODGE~!, surprising Anderson and the crowd. COLE Oh my! Anderson wonders where Victor went for one second, and then turns around, where Victor is back up and punching Anderson in the face repeatedly! The punches rock the journeyman, getting him dazed and confused. Once Victor has Michael stunned, he kisses his right fist and then hits Michael right in the face with a right hook that knocks him down! Afterwards, Victor plays to the crowd. COLE Shades of his brother, right there! Victor climbs the top rope and waits for Michael to get up. COLE What could he be going for now? Once Anderson gets to his feet, Victor SOARS~! with an Evan Bourne-like Senton, bringing Anderson back down to the mat and landing on his knees! COLE I’ve never seen anybody in the OAOAST use that maneuver before! Victor goes for another cover on Anderson! 1...2...3--KICK OUT!!! COLE A close nearfall for Victor Perez, who is absolutely amazing us in his debut match here in the OAOAST! Victor argues the count, but then goes back to the work. He stomps on Anderson a few times, and then picks him up. *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Perez delivers an Irish Whip onto Anderson. Anderson bounces off of the ropes, Victor leapfrogs over him, Anderson bounces off of the opposite ropes, Anderson does a reverse leapfrog over him, Anderson bounces off of the ropes, into an arm-drag from Perez! Anderson gets up, and he gets dropkicked back down by Perez! COLE That one is straight out of Tha Puerto Rican’s playbook! Victor goes to pick Anderson up, but gets poked in the eyes! Michael Anderson fires with punches to “Virgin Island Thunder’s” face. The crowd does not approve of this. Anderson delivers an Irish Whip onto Perez. He goes for a clothesline, Perez ducks, bounces off of the opposite ropes, charges forward…and hits Anderson with a spinning forearm! COLE And Perez back on offense! Perez KIPS UP~! He plays to the crowd and then exits the ring to climb the top rope. COLE Uh-oh. Perez going up top! Anderson might be in trouble here! Victor positions himself on the top rope. He stands up, the crowd buzzing in anticipation of his next move. Victor throws up a double peace sign, looks down at the writhing Anderson, looks at the crowd and looks up at the sky, smiling… before jumping off of the top rope, flipping forward in mid-air, and crushing Michael Anderson with all of his weight to loud cheers from the crowd! COLE Swanton Bomb! A Swanton Bomb from Victor Perez! Victor quickly covers Michael Anderson, making sure to hook his right leg while doing so. Andrew Thomas makes the count, along with the crowd. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (3:09) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And Victor Perez with an impressive debut in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! “100%” by Big Pun featuring Tony Sunshine starts playing over the P.A. system. Victor crosses himself and gives thanks to God, looking up to the heavens as the crowd cheers. BUFFER Here is your winner…”Virgin Island Thunder” VICTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR PERRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Andrew Thomas raises Victor’s hands in victory. Victor, breathing heavily, still has the strength in him to stand up and wave to the crowd. He blows kisses to his fans and then throws up another peace sign. Michael Anderson is still on the mat, holding his back in pain. Victor slowly exits the ring. He slaps hands with the fans as he walks up the entrance ramp. COLE A great showing from Victor Perez! Clearly, Tha Puerto Rican isn’t the only talented member of his family! This kid has got a great GREAT future ahead of him and I am certainly looking forward to seeing where he goes in the OAOAST! LATER TONIGHT THE CHAMPION SPEAKS MISTER DICK TONIGHT COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 We return from commercial break with highlights from the Victor Perez/Michael Anderson match. A caption reading, “MOMENTS AGO” appears on the bottom right hand corner of the screen. The highlights start with Victor’s hurricarana on Michael Anderson while charging towards him. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, just moments ago, we saw the impressive debut of Tha Puerto Rican’s little brother, “Virgin Island Thunder” Victor Perez. We have all been waiting for this man to make his OAOAST debut, and he DID indeed live up to the hype! Victor pulling out all of these innovative, incredible moves that are rarely seen in professional wrestling, let alone in the OAOAST! A replay is shown of Victor’s Swanton Bomb in slow motion. COLE He finished things off with an unbelievably smooth looking Swanton Bomb, picking up the win in his debut! So far in his OAOAST career, “Virgin Island Thunder” Victor Perez is 1-0! And who knows, who can tell how long this winning streak will last for this exciting youngster!? If he keeps at it like he did tonight, Victor Perez will indeed make the Quagmire family, Tha Puerto Rican and himself proud like he said that he wanted to! The camera cuts to a lockerroom. The crowd cheers as Maggie Nerdly and Colombian Heat are congratulating “Virgin Island Thunder” Victor Perez on winning in his debut. Victor is humbled by all of the accolades, sipping on a DAISANI~! water bottle. The talking stops when Tha Puerto Rican enters the room to loud cheers from the crowd. Heat and Maggie look at PRL. PRL looks at his brother with a serious expression on his face. Victor looks at his brother with a serious expression on *his* face. The crowd is wondering what will happen next. After a tense staredown between the two, Tha Puerto Rican starts to crack a smile. So, Victor starts to crack a smile. PRL is soon beaming as he hugs his brother to cheers from Heat, Maggie and the fans. THA PUERTO RICAN All right, little bro! You did it! You finally FINALLY did it! “VIRGIN ISLAND THUNDER” VICTOR PEREZ Thanks, man! Appreciate it! Tha Puerto Rican gives his brother a big bear hug! COLOMBIAN HEAT Gee, dat was awkward for a second! Tha Puerto Rican puts his left arm around his brother’s shoulders. Victor has a wide smile on his face as he looks at his older brother. THA PUERTO RICAN And it’s only the beginning, man. ONLY the beginning! PRL high fives Victor and the two brothers laugh. Maggie and Colombian Heat laugh along with them as the crowd cheers. Tha Puerto Rican, “Virgin Island Thunder” Victor Perez, Colombian Heat and Maggie Nerdly are all smiles and are laughing it up. They all engage in a conversation in the lockerroom as the crowd cheers, happy for the four of them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 TAPED TUESDAY KRISTA’S HOUSE Los Angeles GENEVIEVE DUNCAN (Krista’s mom) KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN and JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN are all gathered over the palatial home of Krista Isadora Duncan. Genevieve sits on a leather couch reading a Vouge magazine, while Krista reclines on the sofa with a scotch in her hand and a wet cloth over her forehead. Jade busies herself with typing away on her brand new IPad! KRISTA This is awful. This mind numbingly, soul crushingly beyond a shadow of a doubt the worst thing in the world. I thought when Alix cut the breaks on the Jetta as an April Fools joke that was bad, but then I realized Jade drives the Jetta and I laughed a little. JADE I didn’t! KRISTA The whole thing gives me aches. Its just miserable! GENEVIEVE Honey, its not easy getting Celine Dion tickets. KRISTA I guess…wait what? Mother! I’m talking about the OAOAST tag team titles. GENEVIEVE Oooooooh. What the hooey are the OAOAST tag team titles? JADE They’re the most prestigious wrestling titles in tag team performing. A guy who used to talk to a fish once held them! GENEVIEVE Your mother currently talks to that funny little monkey character she loves so much. KRISTA Mom, that’s Alix! GENEVIEVE Go on, Jade, what happened to these tag team titles she misses so much. JADE She lost them to someone named Baron Windells, he’s nice person. But his partner…he’s uh...not so nice. He’s this guy… Jade pulls up Mister Dick’s photo on her IPad. GENEVIEVE My, honey who is that? JADE That’s Mister Dick. GENEVIEVE Mmmmm. If I was just twenty years younger, I’d lay him down on the bed, get out my favorite negligee, bring out the chocolate and have a nice oreo cookie, mister dick flavor. JADE Okay. Gross. KRISTA Mom! That’s the person who took my tag team title, hence the source of my great unbearable possibly suicidal miserey. GENEVIEVE Oh, honey, you’ve always been like that. You’ll whine about everything! I beat up Ricky Jones at school and only three people came to watch, I’m so sad. I kicked my little brother down the stairs and daddy didn’t even pat me on the head, I’m so sad. Mommy, I caught you and Santa Claus kissing, and we’re Jewish, and Santa was naked, and he was Uncle Andrew, woe is me! Honey, I want my slice of charboiled hot blond hunk! JADE Grandma you’re married, to Grandpa? Remember? GENEVIEVE What did I tell you about calling me grandma? JADE Mom, already wrote me out the will after I insinuated that maybe just maybe I don’t like it when she decides to model her thongs for me. GENEVIEVE Honey, I’ve been modeling Teddies for your mother for years. KRISTA Now you see why I have to see my therapist three times a week. GENEVIEVE Back to being married, though. Marriage is just an excuse to practice faking orgasms and to get doped up on lithium. KRISTA Since when do you need an excuse to pop some lithium? Its part of a balanced breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch, luncfast, dinunch, and breakinner. But what about my tag team titles? GENEVIEVE Honey, if its that big a deal, just ask the person in charge to let you fight for them one more time. JADE You know…that’s a good, simple idea. KRISTA Every once in a while I don’t hate the fact that you’re my mother. GENEVIEVE Honey, I love you. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT HEARTLAND TITLE LANDON MADDIX VS DENZEL SPENCER THE MAINEVENT COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 We return from break with our view on Sofa Central COLE Back on HeldDOWN and we're ready for tag team action! BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. In the ring, accompanied by the rest of the Burrough Boys. Total combined weight, four hundred fourty five pounds... QUUUIIINNCCCYYYYYY and MMAAAARRRIIIIAAAAAANNOOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The four Burrough Boys goof about in the ring, to the annoyance of the referee they're bugging. COACH My boys lookin' in high spirits tonight! COLE And they're going to have to contend with a team they had an unsuccessful run-in with at AngleMania IX. The fun is over for the BBs though as "Like The Angel" by Rise Against hits. Melody Nerdly summons out her twin brothers with the use of a Wiimote, then makes them hit a jumping high-five, sending one orange and one blue pyrotechnic rocket shooting into the air! BUFFER And their opponents! Accompanied by MELODY NERDLY... at a combined weight of three hundred, seventy pounds... MARV and MEL, THE CHHRRRIIIIIISSSSSTT AAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRR... EEEXXXXXXPPRRRRREEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" MARV and MEL rush into the ring and slide in, only to get jumped by all four Burrough Boys!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Hey! Come on, this is supposed to be two on two, what is this about!? COACH This is how we do in NYC, bitch! COLE Aren't you from Kansas? Beaten on by all four Burrough Boys, MARV and MEL are sent off with a QUADRUPLE whip. They both duck double clotheslines though and dish out double Double Kickflips, knocking down all four New Yorkers at once! COLE Four for the price of two! COACH Just like the places you buy your suits at! *DINGDINGDING* As the bell sounds to start the match, Luther and Waldo bail out leaving the legal men in the match in the ring. MARV and MEL perform a double whip on Quincy and Mariano. The BBs hold onto the ropes though and point out how smart they are. At the same time, they spring off the middle rope with stereo asai moonsaults. But MARV and MEL run right underneath and come off the ropes in front with stereo running dropkicks!! COLE Woah! Fast paced action here on HeldDOWN, hold onto your hats! MARV and MEL whip Quincy into a corner. They go to whip Mariano in as well, but a reversal sends in MARV instead. MARV recovers and hits a running forearm on Quincy in the corner. He then catches Mariano running in, launching him into the air, causing Mariano to hit a top rope bronco buster on Quincy! Quincy falls back in a tree of woe, leaving both Burrough Boys trapped. After a jumping high-five The CAE then run in and launch themselves with dropkicks, one high one low, blasting both Quincy and Mariano!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WOW! Mariano rolls out of the ring, leaving Quincy two on one. The twin brothers send him to the ropes, launched up in the air by MARV and caught with a gutbuster by MEL! MARV then comes off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker, with Quincy's back bending over MEL's knee for good measure! COLE The Christ Air Express are on fire here! Cover by MEL... 1... 2... Kickout! Finally getting some order, referee Charles Robinson gets MARV on the apron, long enough for a tag to be made and another double team to be set up. Sending Quincy to the ropes, they hit a double hiptoss. The CAE then turn around to find Mariano springboarding in off the top rope, but they sidestep and guide him down into a springboard splash onto his own partner! COACH C'mon guys! Get yo' act together, homies! COLE Again, you are from Kansas. Mariano is thrown outside as MARV covers Quincy... 1... 2... No! The count is broken up as Luther and Waldo throw their SNEAKERS into the ring! COLE Pelting the referee with shoes, are you kidding me? As Luther and Waldo argue with the referee, Melody takes exception as well and starts reminstrating with them too. WALDO Yo bitch, there ain't nothin' for ya here! MELODY How you gonna do, homeboy? How you gonna fling dem ice creams like dat? LUTHER Get out' mah grill, hoodrat! MELODY You wanna step to me? Huh? You wanna dance? WALDO Hell naw you ain't got none white girl! MELODY Best get to steppin', 'fore I leave ya'll curbstomped! In the ring meanwhile, MARV and MEL hit the ropes, but MARV is tripped up by Mariano from the outside and dragged to the floor. Quincy catches hold of MEL and holds him up for a SPRINGBOARD HART ATTACK by Mariano!! Cover... 1... 2... NO! The BBs call for the finish. COACH Alright, time to get that cash money! COLE I... nevermind. Quincy sets MEL up, looking for the Tanooki Suit... but MEL kicks up, kicking off of Mariano and floating over the back. He runs the two together, then ducks a clothesline from Quincy and counters with a Full Nelson Facebuster!! COACH No no, come on! Recovering, Mariano runs at MEL. The elder twin ducks and Mariano keeps running, to where MARV has climbed to the apron. MARV nails him with a forearm from the outside. He then jumps in over the top, lands on the middle rope and executes the DIAMOND DUST on Mariano!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Here we go! MARV and MEL looking for that Happy Ending! As The Christ Air Express prepare to finish Quincy off though, VINNY VALENTINE strolls to the ring! Meanwhile, Luther and Waldo jump to the apron to try and help their partner. Dropkicks from The CAE send them flying to the arena floor though. Quincy tries to take advantage, but his double clothesline is ducked and he suffers the HAPPY ENDING after all! 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Here are your winners... the team of MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" As the brothers celebrate though, attention turns to the outside where Vinny is attempting to put the moves to Melody! His disco dancing and chest rubbing doesn't seem to be winning her over, but it does distract MARV and MEL, allowing Luther and Waldo to attack from behind!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And now it's another gangland beatdown from the New York street punks! Luther and Waldo puts the feet (sneakerless, remember) to MARV and MEL, joined by Vinny Valentine. Three on two the odds are too much for The CAE and they're stomped down into the mat. Looking on helplessly, Melody is given a HIP-SWIVEL by Vinny V! MELODY HELP! HEEELLLLPP!! Luckily for Melody, somebody hears her cries for help... ...BIFF ATLAS, running out to the rescue!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE IT'S BIFFMAN TO THE RESCUE!! COACH Aw, you've gotta be kidding me with this! Biff slides into the ring and lands a right hand on Luther, who flies backwards! And one for Waldo, sent crashing out of the ring! Vinny freezes and begs off from the superhero dressed Atlas. Biff grabs him by the head though and with superheroic strength, he launches Vinny V over the top and through the skies, right down onto all four Burrough Boys who unwittingly break the Disco Duck's fall!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Biff checks that MARV and MEL are okay, as The Ghetto Groove Monkeys pick themselves up and run for safety. MELODY My hero! A swooning Melody is caught by Biff, while The CAE pick themselves up and thank Biff for saving them. COACH This simp be getting simpler and simpler! Dude's running around in a Halloween costume now. I thought he was just playing dress-up for AngleMania, now he's acting like a superhero 24/7? COLE He IS a superhero, Coach! COACH Whuh? COLE Well, he just just answered the call of a damsel in distress, ran off the bad guys, came to the rescue of those that needed help. That's pretty heroic if you ask me. Tonight, our main event, Denzel Spencer against King Landon Maddix. And it was just about two months ago, Landon Maddix pulled the royal carpet out from under the Jamaican to become the King Of The Ring. With a hold of the legs Landon falls back with a slingshot, sending Denzel towards the turnbuckles. Denzel lands on the second rope though, unbeknownest to La Cucaracha! Megan waves at him to turn around and when he finally does Denzel springs off the second rope, twisting in mid-air and nailing Landon with a flying lariat!! DENZEL C'MON!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Those were some "big ups" from Denzel, as the kids say! Queen Esther, who had been quite into the match up until now, seems a little distracted now as the fans go wild. Denzel is all fired up and whips the crowd into an uncontrolled frenzy as he waits for a seemingly helpless Landon to get back to his feet. COLE And now Denzel is calling for it, Denzel looking to put this one away and cap an amazing night for him! As Landon picks himself up Denzel is ready and waiting, going to the gut with a kick. Landon doubles over dramatically and Denzel comes off the ropes, looking for the Scissors Kick... ...BUT SUDDENLY HAS HIS FOOT GRABBED BY QUEEN ESTHER!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE What the hell!? Denzel looks as bemused as anyone and tries to snatch his foot back, as the Queen clings on for dear life. He finally does pull away and stares down in confusion, as the referee turns away from Landon and does the same, not seeing enough to issue a disqualification. COLE What was that about? COACH Don't look at me. Turning back to the match Denzel blows Queen Esther off and turns around... ...but gets picked up and BLASTED WITH THE GO TO SLEEP, OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!! COACH BAM! GTS! COLE Denzel was distracted by Queen Esther! And now, the Go To Sleep... you've gotta be kidding me! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE And Landon Maddix has done it! Landon Maddix is the King Of The Ring! COACH ALL HAIL! *DINGDINGDING* The fans are up in arms as Landon rolls over with a look of amazement on his face and punches the sky! "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays to herald the new King, who looks set to explode he's so happy. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this contest... and... the 2010 OAOAST KING OF THE RING... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Landon doesn't know what to do with himself he's so excited, looking around in amazement. There's a brief moment of confusion as he catches sight of Queen Esther, but he's too excited to get distracted for too long and starts to celebrate. COLE Well tonight, the chance for redemption for Denzel Spencer. It's King Of The Ring versus the Heartland Champion. Revenge on the mind of Denzel, more gold in the eyes of the King And that is our main event, here tonight in our nation's capital. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 SCHOOL DAZE II TAPED THURSDAY STARRING… MOLLY NERDLY and MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD The studious young ladies are walking down the campus of Beverly Vista school, the high school attended by Maya. Maya wears her backpack, clearly prepared for another hard day of studying while Molly videotapes the somewhat mundane walk. MAYA Why did you bring your camera with you? MOLLY Its career day. I merely brought it along to showcase the tools of my trade. I am a professional filmmaker after all. MAYA Nope, you’re a student filmmaker. Your job is a valet, and the tools of the trade are exposing your breasts. MOLLY I can’t very well do that at a high school now can I? MAYA In a classroom full of horny teenage boys, it’d be a real crowd pleaser! MOLLY I say, aren’t you rather late for class? MAYA I don’t care. Ever since I got my teacher my mom’s autograph, he’s been a total Maya Mark. The girls enter the building, as students hurry not to be late for their classes. MOLLY Your mom would kill you if she heard you using wrestling terminology. MAYA Anyway he added it to his “Temple of Krista” along with the strand of hair he tugged out at the last school play. Having a teacher with an unhealthy infatuation with your mother makes for some strange parent teacher conferences. Maya and Molly trudge into a classroom where a thin, poindexter type sits behind the teacher’s desk. TEACHER Ah, Maya, and you bought a cute friend. You’re a little late, but your guests for career day have already arrived. MAYA My…huh? Molly came in with me. VOICE We Rico De Janerio and I’m the internationally known and locally respect p-i-m-p, Mister Lucius Soul, but ya’ll can just call me Sweet. MAYA Oh no. Confirming Maya’s dread, Lucius Soul and Rico De Janeiro come OUT OF THE COAT CLOSET and strut a pimp’s strut to the front of the classroom. RICO Hey, mang, we’re Maya speaker, mang. MAYA No, they aren’t! RICO What‘re you kids doing with your life? You’re over sixteen, that’s old enough to get a GED and register for college. But what are you doing? You going home, mang, and you grabbin that coke-coke butter and you gonna beat your meat to Krista's exercise videos like angry Mike Tyson. Trust me, I used to do the same thing. MAYA Now would be a good time for someone to set the school on fire! SOUL Ya’ll some fine looking bitches, but you fellas, you broke status. You ain’t got no job, you livin’ with your parents still, you sittin here listening to Milhouse spit some lines about Abe Lincoln fuckin Margret Thatcher on the Mayflower. When I was your age I had a stable of bad ass hoes ten deep, and a murder rap a mile long. MAYA And a welfare check totaling twenty grand! SOUL Amen. We gonna offer you fellas a change for the better. RICO Yeah, mang, chance to become a something. Take your hands out your pants, stop grabbing dick and start grabbing life! SOUL Its time to stop feeling depressed from watching those high school dropouts getting’ that minimum wage paper and become one of them. If you lucky you can wind up like us. MOLLY If you’re lucky? RICO We was a nothing before Landon Maddix, mang, he come and he let us in his cockroach kingdom. My wife hated me and still does, she try to waste me with the 12 gauge. I took two in the face and fell off bridge, mang. Only this porn stache saved my life. SOUL But back on subject. We was bum fellas like you, but all it took was a pledge of allegiance to Landon Maddix and a Jackson to his pocket to turn our lives around. MAYA You’re here to do an informercial for Landon Maddix? Landon Maddix ran an international wrestling company into the ground in about five months! He lost a TV deal on the TSM network! Good god, half their shows are test patterns, and the others are about cows. SOUL I will continue. We even got education money like the army and shit. Landon asked me what I wanted to do after wrestling, right, and I say sales and homeboy had me enroll in Everest college. So there I was in a unique sales program no one ever heard of. MAYA We got to a school where the tuition costs 10,000 a semester, and you want us to enroll in an unaccredited college? Revolt! KID Quiet I’m trying to hear this! SOUL Now I’m movin’ crack rock like never before. Speaking of, Landon allows you to do your thing on the streets. A nigga gotta stay on top of his pimp game and a ho gotta turn her tricks. With Landon if you a real nigga like me, you can get on your grind and maintain your rep on the streets. Real respects real, and Landon respects Soul. You gotta tithe to him fifty bucks a week, and I ain’t got no money to feed my kids, but a little starvation never hurt nobody. Ask Gandhi. KIDS MAYA See! I told you people! You ignorant, awful, people. RICO Burroughs Boys , mang, they sleepin’ on used mattress. Landon, he buy us royal beds, NASA style space age, when you fuck on this, mang, is like fuckin’ on the moon with gravity. I pipe your moms Neil Armstrong style, mang. KIDS SOUL Tell me that ain’t official. Tell me ya’ll ain’t down with boning these girls on some Captain Kirk space the final frontier mess. That’s our story, and we hope you have been inspired. Hopefully ya’ll will get of your bum asses, pick up the phone and pledge alligence to the flag of Cucaracha Kingdom. We did it and you can to. The students sit in utter at shock at the spiel just presented to them. TEACHER Well, Maya, I believe that’s an A for you. MAYA Wow really?! TEACHER No, its an F. MAYA COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 We return to live action where “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue hits and Mr. Dick heads to the ring draped in championship gold, Malaysia by his side. BUFFER Introducing one-half of your ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS and the current undisputed HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Once inside the squared circle MD and Malaysia are showered with golden pyro. COLE The OAOAST Galaxy still buzzing about last week’s tag title match; how they changed hands in particular. COACH The guy’s name is Mister Dick, Cole. What did people expect, for him to all of a sudden become a Tim Cash-clone? He’d never win another match! MD stares at himself on the AngleTron, microphone in hand. MISTER DICK Mr. T, eat your heart out. Nobody’s ever made wearing this much gold look so good. But I’m not out here to pity that fool. *laughs* I’m here to teabag everybody in the OAOAST Galaxy questioning where I stand after last week. See, I pinned Krista Isadora Duncan yet again right smack in the middle of the ring. First time it was break her unpinned streak in singles competition, and the second time was to capture the One & Only World tag team championship. COLE Along with Baron Windels, I might add. MISTER DICK Apparently this has Krista’s panties in a bunch, not to mention some in the “OAOAST Galaxy.” Let’s take a look to see why. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! LAST WEEK MD sets Krista for THE COCK BLOCK, but she floats over and hits THE CODEBREAKER! COLE KIDology! The cover but no count as the ref is busy trying to breakup Alix/BW. This allows Malaysia to sneak in and whack Krista with her CAT O’NINE TAILS. NO!! Tim Cash slides in and yanks it away. COACH What does that idiot think he’s doing? COLE Trying to keep the playing field leveled, that’s what. Krista spots Cash with the whip and confronts him. Cash denies any ill intent but Krista doesn’t buy it, especially with Malaysia at his side. Mr. Dick then sees the whip in Krista’s possession and kicks her low, which he follows with THE COCK BLOCK! MD covers Krista in compromising fashion as Malaysia takes Cash out with her. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! MISTER DICK As the video clearly shows, I only acted in self-defense. See, I was still woozy so when I saw Krista with Malaysia’s whip I didn’t know whether she was gonna toss it out of the ring or use it as a weapon. It was a chance I didn’t want to take so I went downstairs to protect myself, Malaysia and Tim Cash. Whether Krista or the asswipes in the OAOAST Galaxy -- and you know who you are -- believe that or not I really don’t give a damn. Hell, those who don’t can just swallow it! “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down cues and Tim Cash accompanies Baron Windels ringside. MISTER DICK Just the man I wanted to see. The other half of your One & Only World tag team champions… Baron Windels! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MISTER DICK Listen BW, I hope you’re not upset I never returned your messages last week. When this whole deal hit, man, I just had to get away from it all, you know? I mean, the level some people will stoop. BARON Hey Jock, you don’t have to explain anything to me, man. The video backed up your story. But you know, with all the controversy and stuff, I think it’s only right we give COD a rematch to put any doubts to rest. MISTER DICK Rematch?!? BARON ASAP. MISTER DICK (to Cash) This is your idea, isn’t it? CASH MISTER DICK You can’t handle the fact I did in ONE NIGHT what you couldn’t do in ONE YEAR… and that’s carry BW to tag team gold. Cash decks MD! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE That was too much for the mild manner Tim Cash to handle. COACH Is that guy Alix? COLE Alix? COACH You know, stupid. COLE Malaysia lunges towards Cash but is restrained by BW. When Cash turns to see the fuss behind him MD attacks. COACH We got all hell breaking loose, Mikey Cole. OAOAST officials rush the ring as BW desperately tries to get MD off Cash. It’s only until Malaysia intervenes that order is restored. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we need to get things under control out here. Don’t you go away. We’ll be back! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 "Slither" by Velvet Revolver blasts through the speakers as former tag team champions Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard head to the ring. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, from Seattle, Washington... TERRY VALENTINE! His partner, from Memphis, Tennessee... JERRY PRESLEY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VALENTINE & PRESLEY BUFFER And their opponents… from Orange County, California, total combine weight 460 pounds, 3-time former World tag team champions... SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Simon acknowledges the crowd while Ned is all business. Off come the vests and we're ready for action. * DINGDINGDING * Valentine grabs a side headlock on Simon and is quickly shoved off into the ropes, the victim of a hip toss on the rebound. Following a dropkick the O.C. Cobras tag. Simon executes a drop toehold as Ned drives the ELBOW into the back of the head! COLE Beautiful double-team work right there. You know Simon and Ned would love to get another crack at the One & Only World tag team championship currently held by Mr. Dick and Baron Windels. Ned rams Valentine into the top buckle, then STOMPS A MUDHOLE AND WALKS IT DRY! COACH The Handsome Hustler showing some fire tonight. I haven't seen him this aggressive in a while. Back elbow levels Valentine, who immediately tags out. His partner isn’t anymore successful. Ned makes short work of Presley and tags Simon. A double whip is followed by THE DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK! COLE Get ready Michael Buffer. This one is about to be over. Ned slams Presley mid-ring, then launches Simon off the top! COACH Atomic Blond! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners… THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard make short work of Terry Valentine and Jerry Presley on HeldDOWN~! COACH They never stood a chance, Cole. The O.C. Cobras meant business tonight. COLE We'll be back! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 We come back from break to the backstage area to find MAGGIE NERDLY prepping the set of the relaunched and revamped AfterParty. She’s in an incredibly good mood, until she hears the wailing voice of Logan Mann blasting through the room. LOGAN (singing) Tell me when it’s gonna end? When its gonna end? I’m runnin, runnin, runnin, runnin! When its gonna end? When its gonna end? Runnin, runnin, runnin! I lost all my money, I lost all my friends, I can’t find my direction. Where’s my finish line? MAGGIE Hey, can you knock it off, man? LOGAN Knock what off? MAGGIE What ever the hell you’re doing! LOGAN Singing? MAGGIE You call that singing! I thought you were choking on a chicken bone! I thought Jumbo was having a hernia when I first heard you. LOGAN Yeah, yeah, shut up, Nerdly kid. Just shut it for one little second. I’m singing the music of the gods for the peasants. I am an instrument of the lord, and my notes are his gospel, so sayeth Abdullah Abir Nerdly. Who are you, little one, to turn down the volume on the message of his holiness? MAGGIE I’m trying to set up for Afterparty. I ain’t got no help, no Production Assistants, its just me by myself and you sounding like a dying squirell, man! HOLLY Someone’s gonna (beep) die alright. LOGAN Now you’ve done it. What the devil reaps is what the devil has sowed! Get ‘em, honey! HOLLY You prissy uptight little bitch. You always seem to be where you aren’t wanted. Around my husband first off and second off in a (beep) title match at the Motor City Spectacular. You and me, one on one for the women’s title? It doesn’t make a (beep) bit of (beep) sense, if you ask me. MAGGIE What are you sayin'? LOGAN You don’t deserve this title belt, Margaret. That's what's being said. MAGGIE And this chick does? She won it after my sister went through the most grueling match of her life, and she only got it because of a BS grudge. HOLLY But I still got it, (beep)head. I still got it. And you don’t and you never (beep) will. Just answer me a question, who’s (beep) did you have to swallow to get your title shot? Anglesault? Jesse Ventura? Or was it a whole orgy, my little whore? SLAAAAAAAAAAAAP! Holly goes reeling back, stumbling into Logan’s arms. LOGAN I think this calls for a percussion! HOLLY (Beep) right it does. As a crowd gathers around to see what’s soon to be a heated fight, PRL emerges onto scene. He pushes his way through the spectators and stands tall in front of his ready to brawl girlfriend. PRL What was that, Logan? What does this call for? LOGAN Now here’s another guy coming around where he’s not wanted. The Latin Lion making his monthly appearance on HeldDOWN~! Hooray! I should write a song about this grand appearance. This had nothing to do with you, Edward, but if you want to interject yourself then I guess I better teach you a lesson about minding your manners and your business. Next week all four of us, let’s get in that ring and let’s settle things. PRL smirks and nods his agreement before Logan ushers himself and Holly away. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 We elsewhere backstage, keeping an eye on Leon Rodez and his stolen Money In The Bank briefcase. He stands, staring down at the case, when suddenly he's grabbed in a bearhug from behind by an excitable Morgan Nerdly. Leon turns around and just looks down at her, gripping onto him for dear life. MORGAN Thank you thank you thank you, I knew you'd be back to help me! Leon peels Morgan off of him. LEON I'm sorry, what? MORGAN You... y-you came back! And you're going to get my title back. Like you said earlier... right? LEON When did I say that? MORGAN When you told Josie, about what she did to me, how she ruined my great moment beating Crystal, how she was wrong and how you were going to take it to OAOAST management and make them change things and give me my belt back becau... Leon reaches out and puts his hand over Morgan's mouth, enough to get her to shut up. He waits for a few seconds until he's sure that Morgan has stopped talking before slowly taking the hand away, looking her dead in the eyes. LEON What happened to you has nothing to do with what I said earlier. Okay. MORGAN Bu-but you sai... LEON No. Everything I said was to make sure I get to keep this. *pats briefcase* That's what's important. Josie's not going to open that can of worms. She's not that stupid. You should know that. After all... she outsmarted you. Didn't she. What do I keep telling you? Don't.. trust.. anyone. And yet, what did you do? You took her on her word. You won your match and you started celebrating. Like you thought you'd beaten her. And then what happens? Somebody who's not supposed to be there comes down and beats you? Boo-hoo. I've had that happen to me twice now. And I'm still trying to make things right. I had to learn the hard way. So do you. You didn't listen to me. So why should I help you? You lost the belt. You're going to have to deal with it. Morgan looks crushed, but chokes back her tears and grasps Leon's hand. MORGAN I'm sorry I didn't listen... I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't listen, I am. Rolling his eyes, Leon wraps an arm around Morgan, who buries herself into his chest sobbing. LEON Maybe next time, you will then. COMING UP NEXT HEARTLAND TITLE LANDON MADDIX VS DENZEL SPENCER THE MAINEVENT COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 10, 2010 BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and it is for the OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPIONSHIP!! "Parade Of The Charioteers" trumpets out through the arena and there's a revolt in the stands as the King heads to the ring! Booed by his public, King Landon extends his hands to the skies as golden sparks fall behind him and his Queen! BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER!! Hailing from the Kingdom of Madrid, Spain... he weighs two hundred, eight pounds. He is the leader of the CUCARACHA KINGDOM and one third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... The 2010 OAOAST King Of The Ring ... KKIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGG... LLAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... MMMMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The King and Queen link arms as they walk to the ring, waving obliviously to the fans. As they reach the ring Landon holds the Queen's hand on her way up the steps, Esther holding the ropes open for the King to spin himself and his purple robe into the ring theatrically. Landon disrobes, revealing a similarly regal purple and gold version of his old tights. COACH And lo, the King did look swank as all hell. COLE A chance tonight for Landon Maddix to win his first singles gold in two and a half years. COACH Hold up. One, he's been concentrating on building an Internacional empire and now a Kingdom. Two, the last belt he held was the World Title. And three, he's the King Of The Ring. Bow down, show some proper respect. COLE ...I wasn't trying to criticise. As King and Queen parade around the ring, they're rudely interrupted by "Master Blaster (Jammin')". To a much warmer reaction, Denzel Spencer bounds out and sets off the green and yellow pyrotechnics before heading to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent. From Montego Bay, Jamaica... weighing two hundred, twenty five pounds. The reigning and defending OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... DDEEEEEENNZZZZZZEEEEEEELLLLLL... SSSSSPPPEEEEEENNCCCEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" As Denzel slides into the ring, Landon and Esther take a powder and talk things over from the safety of the arena floor. COLE Denzel, who was involved in that hellacious Money In The Bank match at AngleMania IX. And what a hellacious move he put on his old rival Sandman9000 in that one... a Carribean Compactor, off the apron, through a ladder. You have to wonder if Denzel's back to 100% yet. COACH Doesn't matter. He'll need to be 150% to beat the King, at least. The referee takes the title belt from Denzel and holds it up for the fans. He asks Landon to come back inside for the pre-match rituals, but he declines. COLE You know, he could do that same move to Landon tonight. No disqualifications in the Heartland division. COACH Does the King know about this!? *DINGDINGDING* Finishing up their conversation, Queen Esther kisses King Landon on the hand before he enters the battle. COLE Shouldn't that be the other way around? COACH Shush! Landon strolls up to Denzel with a big smile on his face. The Jamaican responds by cracking the King across the face with a slap! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" To the delight of the crowd Denzel unloads on Landon with a flurry of right hands in the corner. Landon gets beaten down to a seated position and Denzel wheels away, fired up, spotting Queen Esther nearby and shouting something at her too. COACH You don't shout at the Queen! How dare he! Denzel picks Landon up in the corner, dishing out a european uppercut. And another one. Irish whip is reversed on Denzel though, sending him towards the turnbuckles. Denzel leaps onto the middle rope to save himself, then fakes on a leap backwards, causing Landon to dive for cover! Unaware that Denzel is still on the ropes King Landon taps his temple, until his Queen urges him to turn around and Denzel connects with a flying crossbody!! 1... 2... Kickout! Trying to cut Denzel off, Landon runs right into an armdrag! Headlong, he then runs into a second armdrag! The King is smart enough to learn his lesson and turns away from a third armdrag. But again he points to his head instead of concentrating on the match and when he turns around, Denzel is waiting... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop! COACH Be strong, Landon. Strong like a King! *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHH!" COACH Dangit. *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHH!" As the King yelps in pain Denzel grabs him by the head, running him face-first into the turnbuckles. The Jamaican scales up and plays to the crowd... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" Denzel milks the tenth punch though and gets picked up, backdropped over the top rope. Landing safely with both feet on the apron, Spencer sends his shoulder through the ropes, catching the King in the stomach. Landon staggers away and Denzel goes to the air again, springboarding to the top. The King takes a step backwards though and catches Denzel in the ribs with a dropkick as he lands! Cover... 1... 2... No! COLE Well that actually was a smart move by Landon. And for once, he didn't follow it up by pointing to his head and gloating. COACH Yeah, hopefully he can put that right in a second or two. Taking advantage, Landon stomps away on Denzel, then sits him up and cracks him with a kick to the spine. Denzel writhes in pain and King Landon takes the time to pantomime a bow for the crowd. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There, that's better! Denzel picks himself up in the corner in this time and is waiting for Landon, firing a boot into his gut. And a second one. Turning the tables, Denzel places Landon in the corner and dishes out some more right hands, then goes for a whip. Maddix reverses though and Denzel hits the turnbuckles hard. The King gets a smile on his face, but then runs right into a raised boot! Up to the middle rope, Denzel is grabbed before he can capitalise, dragged off the ropes with a hard landing on the back of his head! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" Coming over, the Queen offers some encouraging words to the King and he turns around to cover Denzel... 1... 2... No! This time it's Landon to the middle rope, measuring Denzel before bringing a clubbing blow down across the back of the head. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE And here in our nation's capital, no love being shown for the would-be monarchy! King Landon tries not to get worked up by the chants. Queen Esther however, forced to cover her gentle ears. Whipping Denzel to the ropes Maddix busts out a Dropsault, cramming back the words of some of the fans. Leg hook... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH How can these people boo and taunt such a great, noble athlete? Pulling the Champ back up Landon dishes out some forearms, backing him against the ropes. After a little téte a téte with the referee Landon then tries for a whip, but is reversed by Denzel. Coming back, Landon manages to float over a scoop attempt, landing on his feet behind the Jamaican. A mule kick by Denzel doubles the King up. But as Denzel hits the ropes, Landon follows him in and rocks him with a forearm smash right on the rebound! COLE Landon was right on Denzel's tail with that one! With Denzel dazed, Landon drags him out into the middle of the ring. Setting up a neckbreaker he falls to one knee, dropping Spencer's head across the other! Cover... 1... 2... No! King Landon puts his hands on his hips, with a disapproving look at the referee. COACH Watch yourself pal. You want to spend a night in the dungeons? COLE Landon doesn't have a dungeon, does he? COACH He's a King! Of course he has a dungeon. All kings have dungeons. What a stupid question. Fed up, Landon exits the ring and heads for the timekeeper's table. But he stops when Queen Esther applauds him and gushes over his abilities, making Landon too guilty to even think about grabbing a weapon. So he goes back inside and stomps on Denzel some more. COLE Not sure what Landon was thinking there. Maddix picks Denzel back up and whips him into the corner. Pointing out to the Queen he then runs in, hitting a leaping forearm smash! COACH Alright King! As Queen Esther looks on approvingly, Landon steps onto the middle rope. He soaks in the boos of the crowd as he waits for Denzel to turn around, coming off the second rope with a Front Missile Dropkick!! Practically giddy at this point the Queen jumps up and down as Landon goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Looking even more frustrated, King Landon rolls out of the ring and this time makes it to the timekeeper's table. He grabs a chair and starts to turf out the timekeeper, only to catch sight of his Queen again. Seeing her pride, he SHAKES THE TIMEKEEPER'S HAND, then picks up a bottle of water and takes a healthy swig before getting back in the ring. On the way he gives the Queen a thumbs up, but seems secretly annoyed. COACH Ah, nothing like a quick break for refreshments. COLE And that was nothing like a quick break for refereshments. Landon was looking for a weapon. And for some reason, he changed his mind. COACH Slander! Treason! The King doesn't need any weapons, he's no thug, like those traitors he had kicked out of the Kingdom were! As Landon goes to pick Denzel up again, the Jamaican springs to life and shrugs off Landon to hit a right hand! Another one! And another! Firing back on the King, Denzel whips him to the ropes and hits a high spinning back elbow, getting the crowd on their feet! Suddenly the Queen is looking on with shock, as Denzel connects with a high standing dropkick! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE I think Landon could use a weapon right about now! Whipped into the corner Landon is hit with a corner body splash and staggers out into the middle of the ring. On the hop, Denzel catches the King ducking his head and pulls him down with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Back up, Landon throws a wild right hand and is caught in a crucifix! 1... 2... No! The King backs into a corner and tries to lure Denzel in, but the Jamaican catches his foot. Throwing it down, he unloads with right hands, before whipping Landon across the ring. King Landon avoids danger by floating up and over out of the corner though. COACH Ah-ha! As Denzel turns around, he gets caught with a boot to the gut. Pleased with himself, Landon takes a moment to relax before whipping Denzel off the ropes. This time it's Denzel who floats out of a scoop slam attempt though, landing on his feet. Quickly, Denzel hooks Maddix in a waistlock, running him into the ropes. Hanging on, Landon counters the roll-up and as Denzel tries to roll through, he gets caught with the LOW FLYING SUPERKI... NO! Denzel dodges and catches Landon with a schoolboy rollup!! COLE Denzel was ready for it this time! 1... 2... Kickout!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Scrambling back up, Landon runs right into a leg lariat! Another cover. 1... 2... No! Rolling out of the ring Denzel doesn't waste any time like his challenger, heading for the timekeeper's table and bringing in a steel chair. QUEEN ESTHER COACH Look at this cheat! COLE It's all legal, Coach. Landon had his chance to grab a chair and he didn't. COACH Yeah, because he's a man of nobility and morals, unlike Denzel! Sliding back in Denzel waits for King Landon to get back up, the Queen protesting from the outside. Denzel lines Landon up and attempts to crown him with the chair... but Landon ducks! Spun around from the force of his own swing Denzel is left off-balance and Landon quickly kicks the chair back up into his face!! COACH HAHA! Beautiful, King! Beautiful! As the chair goes flying, Landon capitalises, driving Denzel face-first with a quick Complete Shot! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Landon gets back to his feet... and suddenly, the chair slides right into his toe, courtesy of Queen Esther! COLE What happened there, Coach? COACH Magic. That's all the approval the King needs from his Queen and he smirks as he picks up the steel chair, waving Denzel back to his feet. As soon as Denzel is up Landon then rears back and takes a big swing with the chair... DUCKED! And Landon finds himself up on Denzel's shoulders in the process! Eyes bugging out, the King wails out in terror as he's spun around in the dreaded AIRPLANE SPIN by the Heartland Champion! COACH Somebody help the Queen, I think she's going to faint! Delicate women like her get dizzy real easy, you know. After about six revolutions Denzel sets King Landon down. Wobbly legged, Landon still has the chair in his hands. Unlucky for him, as Denzel DROPKICKS THE CHAIR BACK INTO HIS FACE!!!! "YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Cover by Denzel... 1... 2... NO! Picking the chair back up, Denzel sets it in the middle of the ring. Grabbing Landon by the hair he then rams him face-first into the open seat a couple of times, leaving him dazed over the chair. COLE Welcome to your throne for the evening, King Landon. Off the ropes Denzel then leaps, looking to Scissor Kick Landon down into the chair... but Landon moves out of the way! Picking Denzel up in a fireman's carry the King then positions him near the chair, drawing worried boos from the crowd. COLE Uh-oh! Uh-oh! COACH GTS on the chair! But as Landon throws Denzel up, the Jamaican miraculously manages to turn it into a VICTORY ROLL!! 1... 2... NO!! COLE OH how close! What an amazing counter from Denzel, unbelievable body control! Both men are up and Landon kicks Denzel back towards the chair, then takes a run up. Denzel ducks his head though and backdrops the King right over the chair! Holding his back, Landon picks himself up and Denzel sets himself. He hits the ropes, then uses the chair as a launchpad to throw himself at the King... BUT LANDON DUCKS!! Denzel flying forearm goes astray and he lands throat-first on the middle rope, bounced back up to Landon who hooks on an inverted facelock and hits the LANDON EYE!! COLE A miscue from Denzel! And are we going to crown a new Heartland Champion!? 1... 2... KICKOUT! The King pouts and paces around the ring, hands on hips. "DEN - ZEL!" "DEN - ZEL!" "DEN - ZEL!" "DEN - ZEL!" Bouyed by the crowd, Denzel starts to pick himself back up. Landon kicks the chair aside and lies in wait for the Jamaican. When, suddenly, he notices JAMES BLONDE rushing to the ring, carrying the SCEPTER! COLE Wait a minute, what is this goofball doing out here? COACH Goofball!? That's the Prince Of Panache! COLE Exactly! Blonde gets Landon's eye and then tosses in the scepter, giving the King the thumbs up! Landon returns the favour... but, although the thumb stays up, the colour slowly drains out of his face as he looks up behind Blonde, to see THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND on the stage... and NATHANIEL BLACK in between them!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Oh no! SECURITY! GUARDS! SOMEONE! Frozen in shock for a moment, Landon suddenly spots Denzel back up and turns around, but before he can even think about using the scepter he's hit with a boot to the gut sending it flying! Off the ropes, Denzel then delivers the SCISSORS KICK, wiping the King out! Blonde freaks out and jumps onto the apron, trying to save his King. But Denzel spots him and knocks him back down to the arena floor with a dropkick!! COLE There goes "the prince"! Denzel acts quickly, dragging Landon into position. The Queen is horrified but dare not jump in and intervene with the British thugs looking on the from the stage. And she can only watch as Denzel comes off the top with the KINPUPPALICK!!! COLE And there may go the King! 1... 2... 3!!!!!! COLE Yes! Denzel Spencer, retains! COACH Oh, Esther! A travesty! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... DDEEEENNZZZZEEEELLLL... SSSSPPEEEEENNCCCEEEEERRRRRR!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Small satisfaction for Black and The Last Kings, they look on just as miserably as before, as Denzel claims his Heartland Title belt. He is of course much more satisfied, jumping to the turnbuckles and raising the title in the air for the crowd. COLE Sweet revenge for Denzel Spencer, here tonight on HeldDOWN. He may not be the King, but tonight, he was the king of this ring! And he's still the Heartland Champion. As Denzel celebrates the Queen tends to her King, helping him out of the ring with the assistance of James Blonde. But they delay over helping him to the back with Black and The Last Kings still watching on, leaving the Kingdom with nowhere to go. COACH Get these hooligans out of here, the King needs medical assistance! COLE I think the King may need to watch his back. There's a royal revolt brewing. And the revolters are watching him, very, very carefully! The Brits continue to look on, with Denzel's celebrations fading us out of HeldDOWN. GOOD NIGHT, AMERICA Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
