Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2010 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We cut from the opening vid straight to Sofa Central where Michael Cole and Johnathan Coachman wait to call the action as it happens live on HeldDOWN~! COLE Folks, welcome to New Orleans! It is time for another exciting edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I'm Michael Cole- COACH And I'm the poor son of a bitch forced to sit next to this jackass. I hate my life. I hate this company. I HATE THIS WORLD! The crowd pops as “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down hits. COLE As Tim Cash and One & Only World tag team title co-holder Baron Windels make their way to the ring, let’s take you back to last week. It was just after Mister Dick had explained his side of the whole tag title change controversy that tempers flared between him and the man he’ll defend the OAOAST Championship against at the Motor City Spectacular, Tim Cash. BARON Hey Jock, you don’t have to explain anything to me, man. The video backed up your story. But you know, with all the controversy and stuff, I think it’s only right we give COD a rematch to put any doubts to rest. MISTER DICK Rematch?!? BARON ASAP. MISTER DICK (to Cash) This is your idea, isn’t it? CASH MISTER DICK You can’t handle the fact I did in ONE NIGHT what you couldn’t do in ONE YEAR… and that’s carry BW to tag team gold. Cash decks MD! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE That was too much for the mild manner Tim Cash to handle. Malaysia lunges towards Cash but is restrained by BW. When Cash turns to see the fuss behind him MD attacks. COACH We got all hell breaking loose, Mikey Cole. OAOAST officials rush the ring as BW desperately tries to get MD off Cash. It’s only until Malaysia intervenes that order is restored. Back live in the arena, Cash motions for the crowd to pipe down. Kindly of course. CASH Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I have something to get off my chest. Last week I let my emotions get the best of me and not only embarrassed myself, the OAOAST but also my dear friend Baron Windels. Rather than discuss things in a civil matter I chose to act out in violence. So at this time I want to publicly apologize to the entire OAOAST Galaxy, the OAOAST itself and Baron Windels for my inexplicable behavior. I’d also like to apologize to Mister Dick. Like me I’m sure he regrets his choice of words as well last week. “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue blasts through the speakers and Mr. Dick marches ringside accompanied by Malaysia. COLE We’ve got company, Coach. And not just anybody, but the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion himself. MD pulls a microphone out of his crotch. COACH Sorry Cole. Mister Dick had a mic in his pants. He wasn’t happy to see you. COLE (sarcastically) I’m crushed. MISTER DICK Tim Cash, I accept your apology. But I don’t regret a damn thing I said. CASH MISTER DICK Like they say, the truth hurts. Your cheap shot last week proved it. Although I gotta admit, I was pretty impressed. I didn’t think you had the balls. BARON Damnit, Jock. I thought we agreed to bury the hatchet? MISTER DICK It’s 6 feet under BW. I just want his scrawny ass to know we’re two different people. See, I ain’t afraid to thumb somebody in the eye or do whatever it takes to win. What you see is what you get. Kissing babies and helping little old bags across the street ain’t my deal, but pounding ass in and out of the ring is. COACH I bet you know a thing or two about getting your ass pounded, Cole. *laughs* MISTER DICK And next week we’re gonna pound some ass in 6-man action, no homo. And when we come out on top, it’s gonna be as the new 6-man tag team champions. COLE The Cucaracha Kingdom vs. Mr. Dick, Baron Windels and Tim Cash for the 6-man tag titles here next week!?! MISTER DICK Before we start thinking about next week though, BW and I gotta worry about tonight. See, I thought over what you said last week. You know, putting to rest any doubts people had about the way we won the tag titles by giving them the match they all want to see. Well I can’t think of any better time than tonight. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Are you kidding me? COLE It’s gonna happen live tonight. MD and Malaysia exit, but only after BW assures MD giving the people what they want is the right thing to do. Citizen Soldiers then play to the crowd as we go to break. LATER TONIGHT SKIRTS, MASKS AND QUEERS LDC MONEYGANG VS J-MAX AND MARIACHI TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2010 TAPED TUESDAY BY MOLLY NERDLY Los Angeles, CA We find Alix and Krista sitting outside in The Ivy restaurant, sipping on Mermosas. ALIX 30 hours of community serivice. Totally unfair! KRISTA I don’t know how you can say that, you gave the lady a stone cold stunner. ALIX I sooooooooo had my hands on that purse first, she’s really lucky I didn’t rock bottom her through the lingerie counter. She really looked like she could use a good lace thong anyway. KRISTA I still can’t believe you have to speak at inner city schools in Compton. ALIX Dude, I can! You told the judge I hated black people! KRISTA He had a Hitler mustache! I thought for sure Sieg Hiel behind the bench would be rather sympathetic to that. ALIX Like, I still don’t really get why I have to go to rehab and stuff. KRISTA Uh, probably because you told the judge you were on crack! ALIX I had to swear on a stack of bibles, I had, like, no choice! KRISTA Oh, honey, what is the bible besides a heavy book to throw at us Jews? From the distance the girls can see Josie, carrying a wealth of shopping bags, approaching them ALIX Woah! Hey, here comes Josie! Look sharp, team! Look sharp! Josie situates her bags onto the ground and takes a seat next to Krista. JOSIE Hello, girls, hello, Molly. MOLLY Hi! ALIX I ain’t payin’ you to talk! MOLLY You aren’t paying me period. ALIX Exactly! JOSIE I must thank you again for the lovely trip to Los Angeles. Great shopping you have here! And furthermore the tours of the studios were fantastic. I met Jeff Goldblum! KRISTA How’s his job as a janitor at FOX coming? JOSIE And having Terry Taylor as my personal servant was a great touch. KRISTA He didn’t try to lick you did he? MOLLY They’re training him. JOSIE Only once. ALIX No milkbones for him tonight! JOSIE But let’s talk business. You didn’t invite me all the way to LA to play fetch with Terry at Griffith Park or to you tell you he needs a flea bath badly. So what do you want, girls? ALIX KRISTA A tag title shot The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. KRISTA Heehehee. This is funny, Alix is a funny little lady. Like the time in Botany class she stood up and proclaimed that leaves fall off trees because they’re jumping off before the birds can eat them. Funny. Too funny. So funny I just want to do a funny little dance, while wearing a funny little hat. ALIX I’m being way serious! We lost the tag titles to a dude that jerked off on another dude on live TV and wrote a song about it, and the dude he came on! Now I’ve had a lot of guys jerk off on me- KRISTA ALIX But nobody’s ever wrote a song about it! Well, not since My Sharona. Anyskittle, we were totally cheated out of our belts and we want them back. KRISTA Honey, don’t listen to her! She belly to belly suplexed an 85 year old lady through the bargain bin at Nordstrom’s. Listen to Krista, the simple, smart sane one, that won’t leave you explaining to reporters why you employ a woman who deals hardcore pornography to school children as a side job. We want the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, and we want them bad. JOSIE Based on what they did to Maya? KRISTA Honey, absolutely. They humiliated my little girl, only I, as a good Jewish mother, can undercut and trample my children’s self esteem. Do you know what happens to people who humiliate my children? First I gingerly slice off their nipples, then I vulcanize them to create Hockey pucks, then I get a charming member of the Anaheim Ducks and I have him take a slap shot at their head with their vulcanized nipples. If it hits them they die, if it misses, well I carry a gun so I’ll just shoot them. Now you can save Rico and Lucius’ nipples and let us face them, or I can see which Mighty Duck is up for some street hockey. ALIX Um, like, at the risk of having my nipples, which are erect by the way, used in the Stanley Cup playoffs, I wanna speak. I know it really sucks what happened to Maya, but Yosemite Sam and Butch Cassidy are running around with our tag team titles and that’s even suckier! JOSIE Okay, I’ve heard both arguments and before you run out of jokes I’ll tell you what I’m going to be doing. I think you’ll both like what I’ve come up with. Krista, you’ve got the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club at Motor City Spectacular, and Alix, if you beat them, then you’ve got a tag title shot at The Lonestar Gunslingers at School’s Out. Girls, is that fair? KRISTA AND ALIX Fair! MOLLY Splendid, now lets dine! ALIX I ain’t paying you to eat either! ALL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2010 The thick Arab insturmentals of Khyber Pass rock into the jam packed arena. The hard driving beats bring out Logan Mann, clad in leather pants with a sword running down each side and Holly, attired in a long sleeve shirt with a dead angel on the front, black boy shorts and army boots. The couple enages in a steamy kiss that’s almost too hot for TV, as their bodyguard Quiz strikes a towering presence above them. BUFFER The following intergender tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making their way to the ring, accompanied by Quiz, they hail from Sin City, Nevada, they are LOGAN MANN AND the OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPION HOLLLLLYYYYYYYY! COLE Well, Logan and Holly are all set to take on PRL and Maggie Nerdly, and because of that Coach is nowhere to be found. Last week we saw PRL’s brother Victor make his debut, but now its big brother’s turn to get back on the winning track after missing out on the Money In The Bank briefcase at Anglemania. The muscle bound Quiz takes up position on the outside, cracking his knuckles and scowling as any good bodyguard should do. In the ring Holly holds up her women’s title to the booing crowd, as Logan gives her a pleasurable shoulder massage. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" The audience gets ready to “Know Your Role” as the classic entrance theme comes to life. The lights dim in the arena as The Latin Lion’s voice announces that the champ is indeed here. Smoke fills the entry way and white lights flash about the arena as the audience cheers at the top of their lungs. Emerging from parted entrance doors is Tha Puerto Rican, wearing a Puerto Rican flag as a cape as well as long red tights with the words Puerto written down the white in blocky letters. Hooked between his arms is the ultra cute Maggie Nerdly, looking spunky in a checkerboard mini skirt and 30 Seconds to Mars t-shirt. The two lovers SMELL THE ELECTRICITY before making their way to ringside. BUFFER And the opponents, first from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is a former OAOAST women’s champion….MAGGIE NEERRRRRDDLLYYYYYY! And her partner, he hails from San Juan Puerto Rico, he is a former OAOAST World Champion…..he is THA PUERTO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE A huge ovation as always for Tha Puerto Rican. He’s a beloved member of the OAOAST Galaxy, but he faces a tough opponent in three time tag team champion Logan Mann. And Maggie Nerdly gets her first taste of what awaits her at the Motor City Spectacular. PR climbs to the second turnbuckle and once again SMELLS THE ELECTRCITY as Maggie flashes the RAWK hand signal to their adoring fanbase. DING DING DING PRL immediately brings the fight to Logan Mann with rock style punches. Mann braves these harsh attacks to launch a salvo of left hands and soon he’s overpowered The Latin Lion. This allows him to batter PRL’s back with clubbing forearms that force the former world champion into a neutrual corner. Trapped against the ring posts, PRL is defenseless and is easily choked by Mann. The Macho Macho Mann’s attack hurts mightly and Maggie worries at the sight of her injured boyfriend. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” FINALLY referee Earl Hebner calls for Logan to cease his illegal chokehold. Mann does so, but keeps the pressure on PRL with dangerous left jabs to the chin. He then takes a step back to taunt his opponent. This is a horribly poor idea as PRL claims sudden life and throws Logan into the corner. As the audience chants his name, PRL lights up Logan with rock style punches! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is going to town! PRL hooks Logan into a front facelock, and lifts him into the air for vertical suplex. But Mann slides out the hold and winds up behind his rival. He reaches between his legs and drags him downwards with a school boy effort… ONE! TWO! PRL finds his way out the pinfall, and quickly springs to his feet. COLE Close call! PRL’s stabbed in the gut by Logan’s right boot and doubled over. This leads Mann to bounce off the ropes. When he returns he flattens PRL with an elbow strike to the jaw. LOGAN “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Mann scoffs at the audience’s disdain and attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! PRL makes another timely kickout. He scrambles to his feet but is thrown under fire by Logan’s wicked left hands. Mann whips his foe into the corner, and then connects with a rushing lariat. PRL falls to his knees, and Logan shoves him to the canvas for another pinfall… ONE! TWO! PRL pops his shoulder off the canvas. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Quiz pounds his fist angrily against the canvas. Logan grabs onto PRL’s right arm and begins bringing him to his feet. But PRL finds a second wind and begins peppering Mann with jabs. Sensing that his boss may be in grave danger, Quiz elevates himself onto the ring apron to shout at PRL. Unfortunatley for Quiz PRL isn’t the easy target he suspected him to be; The Latin Lion knocks him off the apron with one punch! “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” COLE You can’t keep Tha Puerto Rican down for very long that’s for sure. He’s one of the toughest superstars we’ve got in the OAOAST. PRL sends Logan into the ropes and flings him to the canvas with a hiptoss. Mann quickly scurries back to his feet, only to be planted with a DDT! As Logan grapples with his pain, PRL SMELLS THE MOTHERFUCKING ELECTRICITY~! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The audience is given further reasons to cheer as Maggie Nerdly is tagged into the contest. This brings out the perpetually dour Holly, who offers a few choice words to PRL. COLE Maggie and Holly set to meet up at Motor City Spectacular in just two weeks! The RAWK chick launches herself forward and spears Holly to the canvas. The fans are delighted to see the beskirtted babes roll around on the canvas, tearing at each other’s hair. Finally the two roll to their feet and make a fitful exchange of elbow strikes. Holly gains the upperhand with a back hand slap that teeters Maggie. She then grabs onto the smaller girl’s bare arm and throws her into a corner. A lariat follows and Maggie staggers towards the center of the ring. While she’s dizzied, Holly runs the ropes and returns to take a fistful of her highlighted hair. She then shoots her body forward and slams Maggie to the canvas with a face crusher. A pinfall attempt is made… ONE! Maggie gets her shoulder off the canvas. Soon her whole body follows, but she’s thrown under heavy fire by Holly’s army boots kicking at her shins. With Maggie weakened, Holly snatches her inside a front facelock. She then lifts her off the canvas and dumps her downwards with a vertical suplex. Holly then rolls Maggie back to her feet with the front facelock still applied. From there she attempts another vertical suplex, but Maggie blocks it and shoves Holly away. Angered, Holly then charges forward with a lariat but is promptly sucked into a small package from the baby of the Nerdly family…. ONE! TWO! Quiz recovers in time to pull Holly out of the pinfall. This earns him a stern warning from the referee, but the stoic bodyguard doesn’t seem to care much about the possibilities of being thrown out the contest. Menawhile, Holly and Maggie are trading elbows in the center of the ring. Maggie gains a quick upper hand, which throws fear into Holly’s heart. Thus, she grabs onto Maggie’s mini skirt and pulls her forward to crash her arm into the corner posts. COLE Oh my! That was just nasty. Holly mocks Maggie’s pain as PRL complains to the referee about the questionable attack. Holly then grabs Maggie’s highlighted hair and pulls her from the corner. She drags the Nerdly kid into a front facelock and then raises her into the air for a delayed vertical suplex. COLE Look at that strength! Finally Holly bridges backwards and smashes Maggie’s back into the canvas. The Angel Of Death quickly floats over into a cover… ONE! TWO! But Maggie makes the kickout! Frustrated, Holly rolls to her corner and applies the tag with her husband. This draws PRL into the ring and another loud reception awaits him. Mann, on the other hand, is less pleased to see PRL and spits at the former world champion. This enrages PRL, and he charges at Mann. But Mann hurriedly slides out the ring to avoid any harm that may befall him. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans deride Logan, who brushes them off with a wave of his hand. But his dismissive nature doesn’t deter PRL who dives out the ring to give chase to his foe. Mann quickly finds his way back into the squared circle, and when PRL rushes back he attacks the Latin Lion with a fist drop from his left hand. COLE Logan just suckered in The Latin Lion. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” the fans attempt to rally their fallen hero. But their cheers do nothing but fall on death ears, as Logan stomps his opponent out the ring. He even goes as far as to wave bye-bye to PRL. “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” More infuriating to the audience is that Logan drags Maggie into the center of the ring. The youngest Nerdly girl tries to fight her way free, as Holly applauds the torture that’s soon to come. Maggie can find no escape from Mann’s clutches as he traps her inside a front facelock. The finger twirl of doom is given, and Holly cackles with delight. COLE He wouldn’t! He won’t as PRL returns to the ring to flatten Mann with a well timed lariat! The fans are overjoyed while Holly shrieks on the ring apron. PRL himself gets into an argumet with the referee over Maggie’s safety. This allows Logan to make a much needed tag to Holly, keeping Maggie trapped inside the ring. Holly taunts Maggie and slaps the girl in her cute face. She then scrapes her off the ring floor and throws her into the ropes. But as she returns, Maggie scores big with a diving elbow strike! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as PRL pumps his fist in celebration. Maggie crawls into her corner where the outstretched hand of PRL awaits a tag. She slaps his hands and the fans once again go wild. Sighing to himself, Logan reenters the ring and makes a weak dash towards PRL. He’s taken off a feet with a back body drop, and then proceeds to be hammered by Rock style right hands. Logan tries to fight back with a swinging lariat, but PRL intercepts him with a boot to the gut and strikes him down with a snap ddt! COLE PRL is going to town on Logan Mann! A pinfall is then attempted… ONE! TWO! But Mann finds his way out the pinfall. Both competitors spring to their feet, with PRL attempting to strike first with a lariat. But Logan ducks the attack and connects with a neckbreaker that leaves PRL wounded on the canvas. He hasn’t much time to nurse his injuries before Logan throws him into the corner and batters his midsection with stomps from his white boots. The referee attempts to pull Logan away and gets slapped in the face by Holly for his troubles! COLE Automatic DQ! Too fearful of the profanity spewing Holly, the referee meekly shies away and takes his slapping like a pure bitch. Logan taunts the poor official with mock slaps to the bemusement of the audience. But all this distraction gave PRL the opportunity to regain his lost strength and he assails Logan with his classic punches. COLE That’s the way Puerto Rican! “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” PRL attempts to irish whip Mann, only to be reversed. Mann swings at PRL’s return with a lariat, but his has attack ducked. PRL skids to a quick halt and attempts to hit a side Russian leg sweep. But Mann counters that with a leg sweep of his own. He then drops on top of PRL for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! A slow count aids PRL’s kickout efforts, but infuriates Holly and Logan. COLE These two have the nerve to be offended over a slow count after what they did to this poor official? Unbeliviable. Logan rams PRL’s face into the ring posts in a neturual corner. He expects to be able to pummel him with violent left hands, but The Latin Lion shows tremendous fire and fights back with right hands. The attacks land with excellent power and force, pushing Mann to the center of the ring. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” The Latin Lion grabs onto Logan’s arm and throws him into the ropes. He lowers his head, believing that Mann will leapfrog him. However, he thinks wrong as Mann throws him down with a devastating neckbreaker. COLE Nobody throws a neckbreaker better than Logan Mann of The Heavenly Rockers. And I do mean nobody. Mann smiles to the booing audience, causing them an infinite amount of anger. He then takes off to the ropes, seeking to come back with an elbow drop. But PRL kips-up and slams Mann to the canvas with a spinebuster! Mann screams out in agony, as the fans scream out in glee! PRL then steps to the head of Mann, causing the audience to rise to their feet in anticipation for The People’s Elbow! COLE Here it comes! Here it doesn’t come as Holly low blows The Latin Lion! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans are irate as they watch PRL hobble around the ring, wounded by the cheap attack. COLE Damn her! Damn her to hell! Logan traps PRL inside a front facelock and offers the audience the finger twirl of doom! “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE The Percussion DDT is coming up, and no one kicksout of that! PRL fights furiously to be free of the hold, and thrashes against his foe’s grip. He finally finds some success in double leg takedowning Mann to the ground. As the audience roots him on, he bridges backwards to slingshot the Macho Macho Mann towards Holly! The Angel Of Death attempts to dive out the way, but her movement is much too slow and Mann collides directly with her! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Mann staggers out the corner, as Holly begins to slowly find her way back to her feet. PRL’s focus is at first on Mann, who pounds with powerful right hands. Having weakened Logan with those attacks, PRL grabs onto his afro and throws him over the top rope! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing, as Holly stumbles towards PRL. The Latin Lion regards her with a contempting sneer as she attacks him with her usual tirade of profanities. Not willing to be talked to in such a manner, PRL wastes little time in nailing Holly with the PR Nightmare! COLE Oh my! The former world champion sniffs the electricity in the air, as the sold out audience sings his name. He thinks about attempting a pinfall on Holly, however this train of thought is changed by the sight of his girlfriend begging for the tag. COLE And Maggie Nerdly wants into this contest! PRL smiles a warm smile as he applies a tender tag to Maggie. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Maggie heads to the top rope, where she removes her left pinstriped armband, and throws it to the roaring audience. She then leaps off the turnbuckles, forming the up yours hand gesture before connecting with a devastating elbow drop! COLE The People’s Elbow Drop! The People’s Elbow Drop! Maggie hooks onto Holly’s bare legs for a pinfall as the referee slides into position… ONE! TWO! QUIZ DIVES INTO THE RING TO TRY AND BREAK UP THE COUNT THREE!!!!! DING DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…MAGGIE NERDLY AND THA PUERTO RICAAAAAAAAAAAN! Hugs and kisses are the order of the day as PRL and Maggie celebrate their hard won victory over wrestling’s most profane couple. COLE Maggie Nerdly pinning Holly tonight in New Orleans but will she have the same success in two weeks at the Motor City Spectacular live from Detroit? We’ll certainly find out! 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Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2010 Promo Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2010 "Skills" by Beatbullyz hits and as the crowd begin to clap along to the beat, the masked figure of J-Max heads out through the entrance. Followed by another masked figure, clad in pink. Wearing his sombrero and poncho, Mariachi does a sexy grind on the stage, while J-MAX heads to the ring trying to play along with his unique partner, without actually... well, "playing with him". BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, total combined weight, three hundred fifty pounds... the team of "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" J-MMMMAAAAAAAAXXXXX... and, his tag team partner, MMMAAAARRRIIIIIAAAAACCHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" J-MAX vaults into the ring with a springboard moonsault, landing on his feet to a cheer. The two masked men salute the crowd, Mariachi's eyes wandering towards his partner's well-toned body. COLE What an exciting tandem this should be. The high-flying J-MAX and the always entertaining Mariachi! COACH Always entertaining, you say? COLE Yeah. He likes to have fun! And hopefully Mariachi is starting to move on with life without his former partner, in the ring and out, Moracca. COACH In the "ring", you say? As the masked men limber up, "The World Is Mine" by David Guetta pumps through the arena. And to their eternal embarrassment, out walk the LDC Moneygang, Colin the schoolgirl and Spencer in his Hello Kitty tanktop, skirt and heels. BUFFER And their opponents! Representing THE ENTERPRISE... total combined weight, four hundred thirty pounds... SPENCER REIGER and the OAOAST United States Champion COLIN MAGUIRE JR. ... THE L D C MMMOOOOOONNEEEEYYYY - GGAAAAAAAAANNGG!!!!! No boos. No jeers. That would be great for LDCMG right now. Instead, laughter fills the arena. Colin looks ready to slaughter somebody while Spencer is mortified. Meanwhile, in the ring, Mariachi's eyes are practically bulging out of his mask and... well, something else may be bulging out of somewhere else, if you know what I mean. COLE Somebody pinch Mariachi, let him know he's not dreaming! As they approach the ring, Spencer attempts to climb onto the apron. The cameraman promptly goes for an UPSKIRT SHOT and Reiger flips his shit at him, the Moneygang chasing the cameraman away! COLE Oh, lord! COACH This is horrible. Two of the finest wrestlers in our sport, being reduced to this. I mean, for god's sake, Colin is the United States Champion of this company and he's dressed up like a schoolgirl!! Composing themselves, Colin and Spencer climb to the apron. And once he gets a good look at them, Mariachi promptly FAINTS and takes a bump! SPENCER ...that's it, we're outta here! The LDC Moneygang jump back down off the apron and decide the match isn't worth their time or embarrassment, so head to the back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" J-MAX isn't going to let that happen though and sprints up the aisle to catch them, ramming the Moneygang's heads together! J-MAX then brings Spencer back to the ring and throws him back inside, allowing the ref to ring the bell. *DINGDINGDING* Beginning to stir, Mariachi gets up as Spencer tries his best to stand up without exposing his underwear. COACH Behind you, Spencer! Look out, you're wide open! Literally! Spencer gets to his feet bitching out the referee, before slowly realising that Mariachi is behind him. Close behind him. Spencer freezes in fear as Mariachi starts playing around with his skirt and whispers something in his ear! COACH Oh my God. Whatever was said, Spencer doesn't appreciate it and wheels around with a right hand. But Mariachi ducks and LIFTS UP SPENCER'S SKIRT!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH AAAHHH!! COLE Spencer Reiger just became New York's Finest Flasher! Freaking out Spencer runs away, coming back off the ropes with a big clothesline. Mariachi ducks the line and sweeps out Spencer's legs. As Spencer tries to roll over and protect his modesty he ends up on all fours and Mariachi jumps on, riding Reiger and shouting "HELLO KITTY!" with some slaps on the ass to get Spencer moving!! COACH Somebody stop this. This is awful! COLE This is great! Mariachi must feel like all his Christmases have come at once! Spencer manages to buck Mariachi off of him and having had more than his fill of the embarrassment, tags Colin in. But Colin, understandably, doesn't want to come in. Mariachi waves him on, practically licking his lips. COLE Come on in, Colin. Join the fun! Nervously, Colin steps into the ring and tries a simple lock-up with Mariachi, who scares him off by making kissy-faces. COACH I hope Chicks Over Dicks are proud of themselves right now. COLE I'm sure they are. As they go to lock knuckles Colin surprises Mariachi with a boot to the gut, then piefaces him to the mat, angry at being made a fool of. Colin starts obsessing over his schoolgirl outfit though and doesn't notice J-MAX tagging in. As he turns around, Colin is hit with a Springboard Crossbody! 1... 2... No! J-MAX hits the ropes, ducking an elbow from Colin and catching him with a Spinning Wheel Kick! Another cover... 1... 2... No! Wringing the arm, J-MAX takes control with an armbar, armdragging Colin to the mat with it. Colin trying in vain to close his skirt. COLE J-MAX is taking CMJ to school right here! COACH (deadpan) HA HA HA HA HA. Vintage Michael Cole. Colin gets back to his feet and catches J-MAX with a knee. And a second one. Free of the armbar, Colin then takes J-MAX to the corner and rams him into the turnbuckles. Tag is made and the Moneygang double-team, stomping the masked Brit in the corner and releasing some of their frustrations. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There ya go. You've gone and made them mad now. Spencer and Colin ain't gonna take this kind of humiliation lying down. Make 'em pay boys! Dragging J-MAX out of the corner, Spencer scoops and slams him in the middle of the ring. Fuming, Spencer glares over at Mariachi and out at the crowd before he hits his Measured Kneedrop. Cover... 1... 2... No! Spencer drags J-MAX up with a hold of the mask again, making another tag. The US Champion dishes out a couple of Irish uppercuts, then whips J-MAX to the ropes and cuts him down with a back elbow. Cover by Colin... 1... 2... No! Rear chinlock applied by Colin, he and Spencer trying to ignore the crowd as they start to WOLF-WHISTLE at them! COLE The LDC Moneygang trying to focus on the task at hand here, which has to be extremely hard considering they're dressed up in short skirts. COACH Exactly! This isn't just humiliation. COD are trying to ruin their livelihood with this stupid stunt. COLE Well, it's hard to feel too sorry for them. They did bring it on themselves... and it is kinda funny. J-MAX gets back to his feet and starts to fight out of the chinlock, ramming elbows into the exposed stomach of CMJ. Once free, J-MAX quickly snapmares Colin over. He comes off the ropes and looks for a basement dropkick, but Colin moves out of the way! First to his feet Colin is then able to hit a quick boot and deliver a DDT, to the concern of Mariachi. COACH Here's where COD got it all wrong though. The Moneygang's quality will shine through. Great moves like that are great moves, no matter what you're wearing. Colin rolls J-MAX over and hooks the leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Another tag is made on the LDC side and Spencer comes in, stomping J-MAX down. COACH How about we ask J-MAX how humiliating it is to get beat down by a dude wearing a skirt? Spencer whips J-MAX into a neutral corner of the ring, hard. Angrily adjusting his ill-fitting ladies top Spencer then comes charging in... and runs into a knee! With Reiger staggered, J-MAX quickly hops onto the middle rope and hits a Blockbuster Neckbreaker to the despair of CMJ! COLE Oh, SNAP! Both men are down, but suddenly J-MAX leaps up and makes a diving tag to Mariachi! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Colin comes in to try and cut Mariachi off immediately, but Mariachi ducks his clothesline and starts chopping away at Colin's chest with overhand chops. Another CMJ clothesline is ducked and as he comes back off the ropes, Mariachi is waiting with a BUTT bump to the face! Out rolls Colin, but Spencer is back up and jumps Mariachi from behind. COLE Mariachi full of energy, but he needs to keep that wandering eye of his on the man in the ring. Whipped to the ropes Mariachi ducks underneath a shot from Spencer and tries for a crucifix. But when that doesn't work, he turns it into a sunset flip and pulls The Prodigy down... 1... 2... NO! The LDC are getting frustrated now, another wild swing going right over the head of Mariachi. With Spencer off balance Mariachi grabs him in a rear waistlock and hits a PENIS THRUST FROM BEHIND!! More embarrassing than painful, but it does cause Spencer to stumble forward while Mariachi comes off the ropes, catching Spencer turning around with a crossbody! 1... 2... NO! COLE The Moneygang are all over the place here! And what an upset this would be if J-MAX and Mariachi could pull this one off. Caught with a boot, Spencer is sent into the ropes. Mariachi waits and leaps up, hoping to catch Spencer on the way back with a Frankensteiner... but Spencer counters and FOLDS Mariachi up with a kneeling powerbomb!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Great counter! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Angry, Spencer turns Mariachi over and rains down right hands to the head until the referee drags him off and warns about the closed fists. Spencer vents back at the ref, giving Mariachi a chance to escape. COLE Look out, tag made. COACH Turn around Spencer! When Spencer finally turns around he's left looking up in shock, as J-MAX frontflips off the top and wipes him out with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton!! 1... 2... NO!! Spencer staggers back up and walks right into a jump spinning back kick, right under the jaw! Down he goes, allowing J-MAX to position himself and follow up with a STANDING CORKSCREW MOONSAULT!! COLE Whatamove, count him ref! 1... 2... SAVE BY COLIN!! COLE Whoo, how close was that? The LDC Moneygang a split second away from defeat if Colin hadn't been alert. Colin beats on J-MAX with forearms but the Brit bites back, laying into Colin with a couple of jabs. With Spencer back up J-MAX fends off CMJ with some kicks to the body, then cracks both Spencer and then Colin with a hard kick to the quadracep. Both of the Moneygang are hobbled and J-MAX hits the ropes with both in his crosshairs, only for Colin to step forward and cut J-MAX off, snatching him up for a HARDVARDPLEX!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" The force rolls J-MAX to his feet for Spencer to follow up with a BRAINBUSTER!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Playtime's over, baby! COLE What a brutal pair of suplexes. All fired up the Moneygang start shoving each other in the chest, trying to psych each other up a bit. COLE And the Moneygang have suddenly pulled their act together, it seems. As Spencer runs Mariachi off the apron, Colin uses a short whip on J-MAX to reel him in and hang him across the top rope with the Cambridge Curse!! J-MAX lays hung over the top but is hauled right back off his feet by Colin, who hands him over to Spencer. COACH Here we go! Together, with Colin still holding the legs and Spencer with the head, the LDC Moneygang turn J-MAX over. Colin holds him in a wheelbarrow, while Spencer hooks up the arms. And with a determined look on their faces, the LDC proceed to SPIKE J-MAX on his head with a devestating SPIKE REIGER COUNTER!!! Spencer flips J-MAX over and presses him into the mat while Colin aims a hard boot at Mariachi to send him back to the floor again... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... THE L D C MMMOOOOOONNEEYYYY - GGAAAAAAAAANNGG!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Still seething and breathing heavily, Colin and Spencer have their hands raised in victory as they scowl at the crowd, almost daring them to laugh now. COLE This was no walk in the park for the former World Tag Team Champions. They almost, almost slipped up here tonight. But ultimately, once Colin and Spencer were finally able to get their heads in the game, they did enough to come away with the win. COACH With the odds stacked against them. You take away their concentration, forcing them to wrestle in women's clothes. You try and turn them into a laughing stock. Well, The LDC Moneygang are nobody's laughing stocks! And Krista and Alix ain't gonna keep these guys down forever. Spencer kicks up some dust on J-MAX before he leaves, the Moneygang still worked up over their women's attire as they walk back up the ramp. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2010 PROMO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2010 “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue hits and the One & Only World tag team champions head to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is for THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, accompanied by MALAYSIA… from SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, at a total combine weight of 503 pounds… THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS and OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Malaysia to her knees and MD directs her head towards his crotch where the OAOAST Championship hangs out from his short shorts, which she pulls off with her mouth. COACH It suddenly got a little hot in here, Cole. COLE Quite an entrance for the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. The music dies down and the anticipation builds for the next introduction. BUFFER And their opponents, from Los Angeles, California… "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER … to New York and all points in between… OAOAST GALAXY “Living in America” by James Brown cues to a mix reaction. BUFFER … FREEDOM and LIBERTY… THE ALL-AMERICAN BOYS!! The masked patriots proudly wave Old Glory down the aisle. COLE With all due respect to the All-American Boys, they’re not who we expected. I mean, they haven’t won a match since the Bush administration! COACH 43 not 41, so it really wasn’t too long ago. MD salutes the AAB who salute back, then shake a stunned BW’s hand. COLE Look at Baron Windels. You can tell he expected COD like all of us. Before the match begins the AAB speak with ring announcer Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the All-American Boys respectfully ask that you all please rise for the playing of our national anthem. Since it wasn’t a foreigner who requested it, the fans do stand. The anthem plays only to be cut short after MD delivers a STIFF KICK to Freedom and gives Liberty a FACIAL! COLE What the heck? COACH Maybe Mr. Dick expected a live performance and was disappointed it was an instrumental instead. COLE He can join the club. A lot of people have been disappointed tonight. In any event, that may be the shortest title match in OAOAST history. BW tries to have a word with MD but is shunned. MD executes THE COCK BLOCK and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the match and still your One & Only World tag team champions… BARON WINDELS and OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… MISTER DICK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Although a few scattered boos can be heard, they’re mostly drowned out by cheers. Unlike MD, BW isn’t in a celebratory mood. He tends to the All-American Boys while MD gloats with his two championship belts as we... FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
