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Patty O'Green

OAOAST Syndicated 4/27

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OAOAST Syndicated!













Brought to you by American Express


It was a star filled night on Syndicated as six of the eight praticipants in the Anglemania Money In The Bank match collided to settle a number one contender for the OAOAST World Title. The lucky winner's reward for a hard fought victory was to be a world title shot against either Tim Cash or Mister Dick on HeldDOWN~!


Denzel Spencer vs Theodore Moneymaker


Prior to the match, Christian Wright, who was originally scheduled to meet Denzel, announced to Terry Taylor that he had allowed Moneymaker to take his spot in the tournament as a sign of respect and solidarity. The former World champion appeared to take the Heartland champion a little lightly, and paid for it in the early going, as Denzel sent him to the floor with an array of kicks. Denzel continued to control the match as Moneymaker had trouble keeping up with his torrid pace, but finally managed to turn the tide by getting his foot up on a charge. Moneymaker slowed it down and kept it on the mat for the next few minutes, until Denzel ducked underneath a clothesline and hit a spinning wheel kick. Both men were out of it on the mat, then made their way to their feet, where Denzel went on a roll offensively, ultimately knocking Moneymaker to the apron. The referee backed him off, as Moneymaker went into his tights for a foreign object. Denzel ducked a swing, then tried a suplex inside, but Moneymaker drilled him with the object for the three-count. As Moneymaker celebrated, a second official ran to the ring and informed the match official of the shenanigans, stripping the object from Moneymaker's hands unexpectedly, which prompted the lead official to reverse the decision, DQ'ing Moneymaker.


WINNER: Denzel Spencer (reverse decision)


Alix put on her serious about wrasslin glasses and did her hair up all Sarah Palin style for an interview with Shayne Brave. Showtime told Alix and Maya that his eye was still a little sore, and he saw Clash of the titans in 3d and could barely make out what was going on, to which Maya replied that wasn’t his eye, that was the “movie’s incoherent plot and crappy acting” Shayne went on to promise victory in front of his hometown crowd, and that he was looking forward to revenge on The Enterprise. This brought out Lorelei DeCenzo, who personally apologized for Shayne’s eye injury. Maya and Alix thought the apology was bogus but Shayne took her at her word and thanked her for her kindness. After all pretty women don’t lie, do they? When has a beautiful woman ever done a man wrong, answer me that!


Thunderkid vs Sandman9000


After both men made their entrances, Reject made his way to the ring and huddled up with his comrades, convincing them to call off the match. Reject made his way to the referee and told him to ring the bell and count both men out, which he did. The three men exited the ring, but as the referee got midway through his count, TK tiptoed back to the ring and rolled inside as the referee finished!



WINNER: Thunderkid (count-out)


The OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK featured the closing moments of last week's 6-man tag title match on HeldDOWN~! Afterwards OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor caught up with World Heavyweight Champion Mister Dick backstage in Baltimore. Dick explained "a mechanical problem" kept the charter jet that was to fly him and fellow tag team champion Baron Windels grounded for hours, and that nobody was more sick to see Tim Cash lose his chance at holding championship gold than he was. The OAOAST Champion then added, "Of course, he could've man'd up and got the job done instead of hopin' and prayin' I -- and BW -- would show up to bail his ass out. But he better not use this as an excuse for going down in defeat at the Motor City Spectacular, because I'm gonna treat him like any other OAOAST superstar. I'm gonna pound his ass!"


In lieu of an actual segment I’d like to post the lyrics from Toad The Wet Sprocket’s


we spotted the ocean at the head of the trail

where are we going, so far away

and somebody told me that this is the place

where everything's better, everything's safe

walk on the ocean

step on the stones

flesh becomes water

wood becomes bone

and half and hour later we packed up our things

we said we'd send letters and all those little things

and they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same

it seemed they'd already forgotten we'd came


now we're back at the homestead

where the air makes you choke

and people don't know you

and trust is a joke

we don't even have pictures

just memories to hold

that grow sweeter each season

as we slowly grow old


Flesh becomes water. Wood becomes bone. Those are some heavy ass lyrics, bro! And because of Toad The Wet Sprocket we now know what trust is. Trust is a joke! Marinate on those lyrics for a little bit.



Alfdogg vs Tha Puerto Rican


Two former world champions with a well-documented history, Alf and PRL found themselves across from each other once more with a shot at another title reign on the line. The two legends battled to a standstill for several minutes as the crowd was divided. PRL gained the first major advantage when Alf sent him to the floor, but he was able to move out of the way when Alf attempted a plancha. PRL pummeled Alf on the floor, then rolled him back inside and began to set him up for the finish. Alf fought back with some right hands, but PRL ducked a swing and locked in a sleeper. Alf went down, but fought his way back up, ramming PRL into the buckles to break the hold. Alf whipped PRL into the ropes, and PRL ducked a clothesline, but both men then clotheslined each other. After a few seconds of laying on the mat, Alf was able to position his legs with PRL's, and attempted to execute the Sharpshooter from the mat, but PRL was too close to the ropes. Alf waits for PRL to get up and attempts a superkick, but PRL ducks and hits one of his own! PRL then goes for the P.R. Nightmare, but Alf is able to block it, so PRL hammers on his back and attempts an Irish whip. Alf reverses the whip, and PRL attempts a flying bodypress. Alf tries to catch him, but the momentum carries both men over the top rope to the floor! PRL comes up clutching his knee, and Alf picks him up and rolls him inside. Alf follows, but is held off by the referee. When the referee moves, PRL springs up and rolls Alf in a small package for two, at which point Alf reverses the move and gets the three-count. As the announcement is made, PRL and Alf sit on the mat and stare at each other, then nod in the direction of each other in a show of respect.


WINNER: Alfdogg


Holly stood with the rest of The Heavenly Rockers inside the Rocker tourbus to cut a promo on Maggie Nerdly. What was this promo about? Well, I’m not gonna tell you! Use your imagination! Naw I fucks with you on a comical level, I’ll tell you. The Rockers threatened that if any Nerdly kids got involved in the match they would answer to a Percussion DDT. Holly claimed that she wasn’t afraid of Maggie, even after Maggie beat her two weeks ago on HeldDOWN~! She stated Maggie didn’t have a chance against her and that she was wasting her time even bothering to compete. She said it a lot more profane than I typed it but is a TV PG post, people!


Tony Brannigan conducted a podium interview with Tim Cash. Cash said he's still sore from last week but looks forward to facing Mister Dick for the World title at the Motor City Spectacular. Brannigan then brought up Dick saying he was gonna treat Cash like any other OAOAST superstar, to which Cash replied, "I wouldn't want it any other way."


Alfdogg vs Denzel Spencer vs Thunderkid


TK's bid at a World title shot didn't start out too well, as Alf and Denzel began the match working together against him. TK is sent to the outside, and Alf and Denzel engage in some chain wrestling sequences. Ultimately Denzel takes down Alf with a spin kick, only to be clotheslined to the mat by the returning TK. TK then floors Alf with a bicycle kick after tossing Denzel, getting a near-fall. Alf fights back and sends TK to the floor, then hits him with a plancha. Alf slugs away at TK, then brings him to his feet, but as he does, Denzel floors both men with a springboard moonsault! All three men lay on the outside, then Denzel comes to his feet and tosses TK back inside, getting a near-fall. Denzel picks up TK and sets him up on the top rope, then climbs up after him and hammers away. Alf comes back into the ring and brings Denzel off on his shoulders. TK gets to his feet on the top rope, and lunges at Denzel, who rolls forward and rolls Alf into a victory roll, which ironically does not get a victory. Alf comes to his feet first and catches Denzel with a CHOP~!, taking him right off his feet. He then starts chopping TK, then whips him across, but TK bounces out with a clothesline. TK then executes press slams on both men, and gloats to the crowd. TK then goes to the top and tries a swanton bomb on Denzel, who moves. Alf then goes to the top and hits the Five-Star Alf Splash on TK, but Denzel breaks the count. Denzel then scoops up Alf and hits the Carribean Compactor, but Alf gets a foot on the ropes. Everyone lays on the mat, then comes to their feet, as Alf sends TK over the top with a superkick. Alf then sets up Denzel with his suplexes, but Denzel comes back with a spinning crescent kick, then attempts the scissor kick, but Alf catches his leg at the last second, trips him up, and applies the Sharpshooter. Denzel reaches the ropes after a long struggle, and Alf releases. Alf whips Denzel into the ropes, but Denzel spins through a hiptoss attempt, and scoops up Alf, drilling him with a tombstone. TK breaks the count by pulling Alf out of the ring. He hammers away on Alf, but Alf reverses an Irish whip and sends TK into the steel steps. Alf then sends a shoulder into Denzel, and springs inside for a sunset flip, but Denzel hooks the legs ala Davey Boy Smith, and scores the pin! Alf comes to his knees with his hands on his hips, as Denzel celebrates, then comes to Alf for a handshake, which Alf gives him after some hesitation.


WINNER: Denzel Spencer

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