My Leon Sharpe stash of stuff

[Guest LesnarLunatic]

Some background on the men involved here..

 

Leon Sharpe is sorta like Kevin Nash, in the sense that they are both tall and around 315lbs. Sharpe seems to have a quick wit, he occaisonally uses psychology and he isn't a lazy bastard, although I have included the tendancy of Sharpe to not pay too much attention to the show as a semi-shoot reference to myself, I too don't seem to look at the EWA cards enough.

 

Sharpe pretty much left the EWA after a weird angle where he teamed with another guy, who then kidnapped him and in his weird booking, had my character get gangbanged by a dozen men. During that, Sharpe was betrayed by his main lackey, who turned heel and brought in a lawyer (Louis Syffler) and some other guy (Lou Albino). Syffler put up a restraining order on Sharpe to not touch Rocker. Of course, that would have worked if I bothered to continue with the angle. So, all that sorta flopped. Sharpe's last EWA appearance before he returned involved him running out, beating up Rocker (violating the restraining order) and then getting beat up by alot of people. Violating the restraining order was the storyline reason that Sharpe got "suspended", but I never really established that due to apathy and laziness. It didn't help that Sharpe got 'fired' (while on the inactive list) when Rocker and Syffler got fired. Sharpe's "real life" reason for leaving was that he injured his neck in some earlier matches, requiring a little bit of surgery.

 

Now for the little characters:

 

The EMTs, one day back in like October in the EWA, I did a few segments of Leon Sharpe chatting with the EMTs, since Sharpe probably wanted to establish some communication with those who would be taking care of his opponents.

 

Louis Syffler is an old thorn in the side of Sharpe. Syffler is a lawyer, he was with Shawn Rocker until they got fired for trying to blackmail the owner into keeping their jobs with phony photos of the owner. Syffler then brought in The Truth, as revenge on the owner for all that. Sharpe wants some time with Syffler where he can beat the hell out of him.

 

Truth, is Syffler's main ally in the EWA. Truth, obviously, won't let Syffler be beat up by Sharpe. Truth is sorta like the Malcolm X of the EWA, he's from Mexico, he's saying he is fighting against the system in the EWA. Claiming that the EWA Owner is pretty much a tyrant who is denying the wrestlers certain rights. He's sorta like a Marxist/Socialist. He's a mix of Mexican machismo, paranoia and rage. Truth's real name is Tomas Mendosa.

 

The Mexican guys with Truth are his bodyguards. Truth brought them in because he felt the EWA was gonna try to bring in somebody to injure him and take him out of wrestling. So he keeps at least two men by him at all times. None of them speak English, so they talk in Spanish [via Babelfish] to Truth.

 

Alignments:

Sharpe - Face (but a jerk)

Syffler - Heel

Truth and friends - Heels

 

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Let the pasting begin..

 

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[We fade backstage where Leon Sharpe is seen slamming the door of his cab angrily.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - God damnit... I heard the rumors, I thought that sonuvabitch Tortez was kidding around, how the fuck am I supposed to wrestle on one leg?

 

[sharpe glances at the camera.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Tell me that, How am I supposed to use my finisher on one leg?

 

Cameraman - I don't know.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Sometimes, I get the impression that I work alongside a group of morons. It's even worse that we've having this fucking card in god damn New Hampshire. I am not in a very good mood.

 

[sharpe walks into the building and spots an EMT, who starts walking off.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - What the fuck are you running off for?

 

EMT - Um... emergency.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - I didn't miss the scaffold match with that one guy and the Kung Fu guy, did I?

 

[sharpe said this right after the scaffold match between the Extreme champ and his Japanese challenger.]

 

EMT - uh... we..

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Look man.. your occupation was made famous by me. I even kept you guys company. You guys are the delivery men. I am Pizza Hut and your my drivers, I make the pizzas and you drive them to the houses.

 

EMT - Leon... uh... welcome back, that was a very bizarre analogy that you made up.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - It works..

 

EMT - Uh... yeah, sure it does.

 

[The EMT starts walking faster.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - You gonna wish me luck later?

 

EMT - Uh... sure.. good luck.

 

[The EMT runs off as Sharpe is left to himself.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - God damn.. he's acting like somebody fell off the plank or something.

 

[sharpe shrugs and walks off.]

 

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[We fade to outside Truth's lockerroom where one of his bodyguards walks up to the door, he finds a note on the door, he takes it off and walks into the room, where Truth is laying back.]

 

Truth - Hola amigo! Como estas? {Hey buddy, how are you?}

 

Tone Loc - Bien. {good}

 

Truth - Hombre, usted faltó a ese idiota Sakyo que era lanzado alrededor {Man, that idiot Sakyo sure got beat up}

 

Tone Loc - ¿Él no tiene otro fósforo? {Doesn't he wrestle twice tonight?}

 

Truth - ¡El Sakyo doble! ¡Los golpeos dobles! {Double the Sakyo! Double the beatings!}

 

Tone Loc - Hey Tomas, encontré esta nota en inglés sobre Syffler. Usted puede desear leerlo. {Hey Tomas, I found this note in English about Syffler. You want to read it?}

 

Truth - Déjeme verlo. {Let me see it}

 

[syffler notices his name and glances over as Truth gets the note.]

 

Louis Syffler - What's this about?

 

Truth - Let me read it Luis..

 

[Truth gulps some water and begins to read the letter]

 

"Hello Truth, You don't know me, but I am Terminator Leon Sharpe, I have returned. I've been to your country many times, nice place, bad water. Anyways Truth, I want to know if you feel like handing your buddy Syffler over to me so I can beat him senseless for his role in my absence from this federation. Chaviar dreams and Burrito fantasies, your amigo, Leon Sharpe"

 

[Truth and Syffler stare at each other as Syffler starts sweating profusely.]

 

Louis Syffler - donthandmeover! donthandmeover!

 

Truth - Don't worry... I'd never do such a thing. Leon Sharpe.. he doesn't intimidate me. He's a cremepuff. Don't worry man.

 

[syffler sighs.]

 

Louis Syffler - Thanks for harboring me Truth..

 

Truth - Your welcome..

 

Tone Loc - ¿Hey, no estaba Leon Sharpe ese un individuo que tenía sexo con esos veinte otros individuos? {Hey, wasn't Leon Sharpe the one guy who had sex with those twelve men?}

 

Truth - Lo pienso era. {I think he was}

 

[Truth and Tone Loc chuckle as we fade to black.]

 

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[After his match, Leon Sharpe is walking thru the backstage area, he gets to the lockerroom door for the Truth, he knocks on the door a few times.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - time for our meeting.

 

[We switch views to thje interior the lockerroom of the Truth, who is watching Sharpe knocking on their door.]

 

Tone Loc - ¡Usted consigue la puerta! {You get the door!}

 

Pancho - ¡No, usted lo consigue! {No, you get it!}

 

[Truth shrugs and walks toward the door.]

 

[We switch views to Sharpe outside of the door, watching a TV monitor in the hall of Truth walking towards the door. Truth opens the door and Sharpe looks up towards him.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Hello Pedro... how are you tonight buddy?

 

Truth - My name is The Truth!

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Look.. even I have a first name. Why don't we call each other that. I mean, we're buddies and all.

 

Truth - No... we're not even friends.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Ya know.. I watched your response to my letter. I must say that your comments are angering me. Truth, are you sure that you mean those words.

 

Truth - What makes you think I am lying about you?

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Look Pedro..

 

Truth - My god damn name isn't Pedro!

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - You don't have to be a baby about it.. what is your first name?

 

Truth - Tomas..

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Look Tommy..

 

[Truth growls a bit.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - How about you let Louis come out so I can beat him into a bloody pulp?

 

Truth - No... I refuse to do that.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Okay, enough of the direct approach. Let me sweeten the deal for you. If you let me beat up Syffler, I will call up this fat black guy I know named Crisqo and he can be your new spokesman.

 

Truth - No... No way in hell.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Okay, you get Crisqo, a copy of the Limp Bizkit CD 'Significant Other', a CD for Encarta 96, The Weezer Green Album, The complete set of Cheech and Chong movies and a video with the greatest Julio Cesar Chavez fights and I get to beat up Syffler.

 

Truth - No.. do you think I am stupid? Do you think I will sell out my friends for material goods?

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Yeah.. I think if you get enough material, you'll even weave the noose to hang your friends. How about.. all that and a stack of National Geographics that is in the basement of my parent's house.

 

Truth - No.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - All that, and a suscription to TV Guide.

 

Truth - No..

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Okay... all that and.. what is behind door #2

 

[sharpe points to a door to the parking lot and some guy opens it, revealing a Low Rider Cadillac.]

 

Truth - Your offers flatter me Terminator, but, I have no choice but to turn them all down. I will never give Syffler to somebody who intends to beat him up. You are a filthy man. Let me tell you this, never in a million years.

 

[sharpe shakes his head a bit and stares at Truth.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Are you sure you want to do this?

 

Truth - Yes... stop asking stupid questions.

 

[sharpe walks towards Truth]

 

Truth - You're not gonna go for me are ya? like those guys did?

 

[sharpe runs towards Truth and throws him into the wall shoulderfirst. Truth's bodyguards run out and begin swinging at Sharpe as he starts walking off.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Truth, get new bodyguards, those idiots you hired should have been out there before I tossed you around, but think about what I proposed, You know that once you give me Syffler, I'll leave you alone. But, you make any more wiseass comments and I will make the so called repression of the Mexican people seem like child's play to me humilating you. Termination is... nono... MAY THE LEON SHARPE SET YOU FREE!

 

[sharpe laughs as he is seen running off into the distance.]

 

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[suddenly, in the arena, "Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains plays and we see Louis Syffler walk out with three of Truth's bodyguards. He has a mic in hand as he stops in front of the enterance way.]

 

Louis Syffler - Cut the music.

 

[The music, predictibly, cuts.]

 

Louis Syffler - Now... I have decided to address a pain in my BUTT. That pain is a man by the name of Leon Sharpe. Ever since I came to the EWA in December, I have been irritated by Sharpe. Since Sharpe's return two weeks ago, he has insisted on hunting me down and having me injured. Sharpe, if you're out there, come on out.

 

[syffler laughs as nothing happens.]

 

Louis Syffler - I will give you a count of ten to bring your ass out here.

 

Ten!

 

Nine!

 

Eight!

 

Seven!

 

Six!

 

Five!

 

Four!

 

Thr---

 

"LOOSE!"

 

[The crowd begins cheering as "Loose" by Primer 55 starts. We notice Sharpe coming in thru the crowd. Sharpe steps over the rail and gets into the ring with a microphone.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Hey Louis Syffilis. I was wondering when you'd talk more trash on me.

 

Louis Syffler - Wonder no more.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - I was out getting some nachos with jalapenos, and a guy said to me, "Leon, some guy's calling you out.", and I said "Yeah, well, hold my spot in line," and then I dialed up the guys who played the themes and said "I'm coming out, play my music," and they did. So, Louis, how's life treating you?

 

Louis Syffler - Sharpe... I know you want a shot at me.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Did pick up that skill at noticing things in Law School?

 

Louis Syffler - Hahaha.. Leon, you're a regular Sam Kinnison, only taller and less funny. Now, Leon, I've decided that I will give you a shot at me.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Biggest mistake of your life Louie.

 

Louis Syffler - Yes.. provided you can get thru two of these men in a Gauntlet Match. You beat both fo them, and you get a match with me, NEXT WEEK ON HEAT.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - I accept your match Louie. It's been nice doing business with you. Now, if you can come into the ring and finish this off with a handshake.

 

[syffler obviously appears reluctant. He sends down Pancho.]

 

The Informer - Pancho, the shortest of the Zapatistas, in the ring with Sharpe...

 

Vic Canon - Charge by Pancho, and Sharpe just clotheslined him out of his shoes!

 

Eddie Sensation - Haha.. that's what happens when you charge at Leon Sharpe.

 

The Informer - Sharpe kicks him in the gut... POWERBOMB! lift back up... DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!

 

Eddie Sensation - I thought you couldn't give Capital Punishment to foreigners in this country.

 

Louis Syffler - Ya know Leon, I'm gonna have to go in and shake your hand.

 

Leon Sharpe - You sure you don't wanna send in any more illegal aliens to try and take me out?

 

Louis Syffler - That's a tempting idea, but I'm gonna have to do the right thing.

 

[syffler and the two bodyguards walk into the ring. Sharpe motions for the bodyguards to get out of the ring and they do.]

 

The Informer - Sharpe extending his hand.

 

Vic Canon - Syffler looking to the crowd to see what they think...

 

Eddie Sensation - It's a trick!

 

Vic Canon - oh shuddup!

 

The Informer - Syffler extends his hand and they.... shake hands. Whoa..

 

[The crowd acts stunned at the lack of somebody beating up somebody during this.]

 

Leon Sharpe - It's nice to see neither of us decided to succumb to our urges and take the other out. Louis.. for your sake, I hope somebody took a picture of that, because it will be the only time that we shake hands. I believe in sportsmanship. But, since I'm a foot taller and a hundred pounds larger than you, I'll easily kick your ass.

 

Louis Syffler - You wish.. you won't even get the shot.

 

Leon Sharpe - Louis, in the spirit of hospitality towards Lawyers. I will give you three seconds to leave this ring before I take your leg and put it over your head.

 

One..

 

[syffler walks towards the ropes.]

 

Two...

 

[syffler goes thru the ropes.]

 

Three!

 

[sharpe charges Syffler and manages to take Syffler's coat off his back. Syffler and his men flee towards the back as Sharpe looks at the coat.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Pardon my use of a cliche.. but...

 

[sharpe begins to put the coat on.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Fat guy in a little coat.. Fat guy in a litt..

 

*RIIIIIIIPPPPP*

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Eh... go figure...

 

[sharpe puts up the ripped jacket and reads a tag.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Made in Mexico.... well.... leave it to Mexicans in a sweatshop to make a coat that can't fit a man too large for it. Syffler, Mexican #3, Ozzy, all those other illegals... Pinfalls are temporary, Termination is forever.

 

[sharpe laughs as his music hits and he walks off to the back.]

 

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[We go to the back where we see Sharpe walking down the hall with a ripped jacket. He bumped into Truth.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Heya Tommy....

 

[The Truth growls and looks at Sharpe with disdain.]

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - Best of luck with your title match, I'm placing money on Dirk, but I'm sure you have a shot.

 

Truth - Leon... Leon... you poor soul... you buy the lie that I will lose. I will win the Extreme title tonight, for the people of Mexico.

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - I'm sure they will be proud of you Tom... one thing I wanna ask.. if you're such a big guy in Mexico, why do you hail from East Los Angeles?

 

[Truth sneers at Sharpe.]

 

Truth - Smartass.... for your information, I live in East Los Angeles and I am from Mexico. Does that answer your question?

 

Terminator Leon Sharpe - yes it does Tomaly... look, can you take this coat to Louis? he lost it out in the ring...

 

[sharpe laughs as he hands the ripped jacket to Truth and walks off. We continue seeing Truth walk, until he makes it to the room where Rachel Stevens is waiting.]

 

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Leon Sharpe, with two times the enthusiasm of Kevin Nash, plus some workrate, plus a weird wit.

 

How can you lose on that deal?

 

heck, give me feed back.. what stuff was good.. what stuff was weird.. is Sharpe trying to hard to be funny?

 

give me feedback, I am an attention whore!

 

please?