Stupidest Commercials of All-Time

[Guest MrRant]

Mine currently would probably be the new Apple switch commercials and the one where the guy drinks a slurpee to numb his tongue before getting it pierced.

[Guest chirs3]

The new Cocoa-Puffs. Sonny eats a bite and then jumps on a skateboard and pulls off impossible tricks on a vert ramp. Then two kids take a bite and do the same thing. Ahah, haha- er... no...

[Guest razazteca]

Ron Jermany ExtenZe commercial fake Viagra

 

those hair removal commercials Igia, Sugering, Nair

 

that stupid commercial by either Rhino or Razor & Tie for 80s metal cd....the woman forgot to shave!!!! plus everybody looked like Kid Rock or Andrew WK.

[Guest MrRant]

The JuiceMan informericals... just because that guy fucking scares me. I also despise Tony Little. I wish he would just die from a heart attack while exercising on his goddamn Gazelle.

[Guest dreamer420]

ibm's "do you really want a clone" commercials. and the fast and furious wannabe poptarts commerical. that one makes me change the fucking channel every time.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Check out my website for my growing collection of Infomercial reviews. As soon as I get a USB cable for my Digital Camera again(I have no idea where the old one went, it disappeared when the computer was moved upstairs), there will be more up.

 

Anyways, the dumbest ever was:

 

Scene: A man at breakfast. He pours his cereal, puts some strawberries in it, some slices of banana, and grabs a spoon. He reaches for his milk. He goes to pour the carton, but only a single drop comes out, hitting a strawberry in slow motion. A shot inside the carton shows the man looking into the pouring hole.

 

Voiceover: FOR MORE INFORMATION ON SOCIAL SECURITY, WRITE TO THIS ADDRESS OR CALL THIS TOLL-FREE NUMBER.

 

I kid you not. I haven't seen it since that first time, but it was so nonsensical, it's stuck with me.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

As for terrible, annoying commercials, there are very few that will ever top truth... god, it just makes me want to buy a pack of cigarettes. I can't STAND those guys!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I think the Truth commercials are brilliant, but perhaps they should be fighting the drug problem instead of tobacco, because smokers aren't going to stop.

 

However, their obvious approach is to prevent new smokers from forming, which I heartily support.

 

Still, that Anti-Drug campaign isn't doing jack.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Still, that Anti-Drug campaign isn't doing jack.

If you're referring to the new one, with the whole "if you're supporting drugs you're supporting terror" thing, I couldn't agree more. Perhaps the reason teens aren't buying that is because it doesn't relate to them at all, and there really is no connection. You're supporting terror by supporting oil and a government that OK's foreign military strikes and suppression of first amendment rights much more than you're supporting terror by toking a little weed every so often, or throwing some smack in your veins.

 

However, there has been one classic anti-drug image, and I think you all know what I'm talking about:

 

"This is your brain... [egg] This is your brain on drugs [egg cracks into frying pan]. Any questions?"

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

Still, that Anti-Drug campaign isn't doing jack.

If you're referring to the new one, with the whole "if you're supporting drugs you're supporting terror" thing, I couldn't agree more. Perhaps the reason teens aren't buying that is because it doesn't relate to them at all, and there really is no connection. You're supporting terror by supporting oil and a government that OK's foreign military strikes and suppression of first amendment rights much more than you're supporting terror by toking a little weed every so often, or throwing some smack in your veins.

Definitely. And I love how they're using 9/11 patriotism heat to get this message across. Doing that seems a lot more suspect and morally wrong than if I was to simply buy a bag from a low-level dealer in the park.

 

"I helped a bomber get a fake passport."

 

 

I can't think of any all-time commercials, but I hate the current car commercials with that little "zoom zoom" bastard. I can't think of the company right now though.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

I think it's Kia, and yes, the zoom-zoom bastard needs to get hit by one of those cars.

 

I fucking hate the Truth commercials. I say increase the percentage of smokers. Why? It helps boost the overall economy and helps lower our already overpopulated cities. Or at least do some GOOD commercials. Why not do a rip-off of the scene from Clerks that involves the Chewlie's rep? That'd get the message across.

 

As for the commercials that really make me wanna change the channel...the one's that show the little 10-year-old kids at the movies, and then that one fucker pulls out a cellphone because he got a ring. Yeah, it's an anti-pot commercial. Ya know what? I'm pro-pot 100%, and I don't even smoke it, and I don't agree WITH smoking it. Legalize it already, but do the same thing with tobacco and alcohol: age limit. The government really is missing out on a huge opportunity to make some cash here.

[Guest sk8420kid]

God I hate that commercial so much.

 

"You should be out with your friends, but you smoked weed and got grounded." WTF is that shit?

 

I had a similiar idea once. I was in an assembly at my school, and they were talking about how the school needs money for events and shit by doing fundraisers and stuff, so I thought "Hey, if the school sold drugs, they would never have any financial woes." They could even sell it at the school store or something with pens and shit haha.

[Guest cynicalprofit]

A guy gets in a truck, closes the door, turns to the person next time him and says, "I ask my doctor about propecia today." And that was the entire commercial. No what propecia is on the bottom of the screen, no nothing. Every time i saw the commerical i was like, WHAT THE FUCK IS PROPECIA, sorry im in graphic design and shit like this gets me furious. I mean why spend a million bucks on something that doesnt make any sese....wait wcw spent 80 million on something that didnt make sense...argh brain hurting....

 

The truth adds are intersting, but it doesnt do anything....simply show ppl who have been long time smokers to kids, you know the sickly looking ones, and i guarentee smoking would decrease, but since the govt is getting mad fat kick backs of cigs, no anti-smoking commercial is every gonna work. same with antidurgs, i mean who do you think outs all the drugs back into circulation, why its the us govt.

 

And the whole buying drugs supports terriosm ones, dont even get me started. Fact terriost sell herion, not pot, not crack, not coke(well maybe from time to time), not extascy, HERION. I mean all i hear about is how afganastan has all these fucking poppi fields, where does buying a bag from a friend get connected to supporting terrorism. so if your buying herion, your supporting terrorism, but shouldnt the fact that this guy has a serious drug problem because hes doing herion be a larger issue then he buys drugs, i mean get this guy into treatment and he'll stop buying drugs.(I love how the govt, and republicans, want jails andnot treatment despite facts (drugwarfacts.org) proving that treatment and legalization would be a lot better)

 

Driving an SUV SUPPORTS terrorism, fucking voting republican(cause most are xian, and therefore hate everone who isnt white) is supporting terrorism. Buying pot from a firend is not, and if you know the guy and he's growing it, and he's white, Im pretty sure theres no way in fucking hell he's gonna support terrorism, esp if hes got a huge american flag drapped behind his plants.(hehehehe)

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

As for the commercials that really make me wanna change the channel...the one's that show the little 10-year-old kids at the movies, and then that one fucker pulls out a cellphone because he got a ring.

I hate that commercial as well. But not because I'm pro-pot or anything. It's the fact that these 9 year olds even HAVE cell phones.

 

I can't stand that Mountain Dew or whatever commercial where the car flips over.

[Guest Kingpk]

"Can you hear me now? Good."

 

"Can you hear me now? Good."

 

"Can you hear me now? Good."

 

"Can you hear me now? Good."

 

"Can you hear me..*gunshot*

 

 

Also, anyone see the Dunkin' Donuts commercial where the girl downs a Coolatta in one gulp? If I was the guy, I wouldn't have run away.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

Commercial I hate because of how ridiculous they are are these phone sex commercials that come on late at night. They show all these, glamorous, attractive, stylish people on the phone, and say things like, "Tired of the club scene? Discover the new hip way to meet people."

[Guest starvenger]

>I think it's Kia, and yes, the zoom-zoom bastard needs to get hit by one of those cars.

 

No, the "zoom zoom" commercials are Mazda. Kia's the "Aiyee" commercials. Both are rather annoying, and I refuse to buy either brand now.

 

I haven't seen it on TV, but that Pop Tarts commercial in the movie theatres is incredibly annoying.

 

And anyting with Carrot Top in it is by definition annoying.

 

On the flipside...

The current Much house ads "on this day..." are brilliant though. It's about time that mullets and Madonna having sex were given their just due.

 

And the "I am Canadian" and "Had Ex Today?" ads are great as well.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

The "Zoom, zoom" commercials are for Mazda and yes, that kid needs to get hit a few times.

 

Another commercial that I hate is ANY Dell commercial... Steve should DIE and DIE PAINFULLY...

 

Also, I hate the truth.com shit with a passion, but like it's been said before, the whole "you support terrorism by buying weed" is so pretenious that I even change the channel when I'm taping something and it comes on.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

Here's another one that annoys me: That one Pop-Tarts ad where they have some sort of party and there's red everywhere. I don't know why, but I get pissed off everytime I watch that dumbass kid gawk at that girl like an idiot.

[Guest El Hijo Del Lunatic]

Another commercial that I hate is ANY Dell commercial... Steve should DIE and DIE PAINFULLY...

I want to punch that kid in the face. Actually, the funny part is that I heard that he goes to NYU, and thinks he's the absolute king fish there because he does those commercials.

 

Commercial I hate because of how ridiculous they are are these phone sex commercials that come on late at night. They show all these, glamorous, attractive, stylish people on the phone, and say things like, "Tired of the club scene? Discover the new hip way to meet people."

Are you serious!? They're the best! Between the faked-breasted girls doing bad stripper dances with clothes on to the corny jingles, they RULE ALL. I don't know if anyone's seen the "PICK UP THE PHONE!" ads they play throughout PA and I think NY (at least), but they ROCK.

 

"Can you hear me..*gunshot*"

See, I'd rather jam a pen in his ear. That way, he can't hear anything.

 

But you guys are right - there is nothing more tasteless than trying to tie a national tragedy into the war on drugs. See, the problem really is that not only does it cheapen the aftermath of 9/11, but it's not going to help. You can't win the war on drugs. It won't happen, unless drastic changes are made. So why bother?

 

Dude, you're gettin a MOTHERFUCKING CONCUSSION.

 

LUNATIC

- Pimpin' ho's and clockin' a grip like my name was Dolemite.

[Guest J*ingus]

For the "truth" commercials, I think that Dr. Tom is onto something with his theory:

 

"But you know what? I have a theory about why thetruth.com makes their commercials so confrontational. They court controversy and public dislike for a very good reason, and you only have to follow the money to figure out what it is. Look who bankrolls those truth folks.

 

The tobacco companies.

 

It's part of their settlement with the government - you know, the one where they got ass-raped to the tune of half a trillion dollars for making a perfectly legal product - that they have to do this. It's their job to educate people about the dangers of smoking, ostensibly to deter them from taking it up in the first place. But thetruth.com makes their commercials so in-your-face, I can only come to the conclusion that the tobacco companies want you to hate the ads. They want you to think those truth.com kids are a bunch of sanctimonious pricks who are just trying to tell you how to live your life while mocking you for a choice you made. They want you to be mad at the ads.

 

So mad, in fact, that you'll go out and buy cigarettes to spite those commercials. The tobacco companies still want your business, friends, and if they can get you to hate the "competition" in the process, so much the better. Anecdotal though it may be, I know several people who have refrained from quitting smoking simply because they hate the truth ads. If this is the tobacco companies' real motivation, it seems to be working."

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

Too bad we don't have Zacalex here, he'd be defending Truth til he died(or gotten banned).

[Guest chirs3]

I forgot! For the '02 election, I forget the candidate, he was a semi-big but not Al Gore or George Bush candidate. His ad campaigns focused on anti-illegal-immigration.

 

There's a guy sitting at a table eating spaghetti. Then on the radio he hears "One out of every six American's aren't really Americans - they're illegal aliens", and right then the guy chokes on his food and faints in his spaghetti.

 

STOP ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION - VOTE FOR SO-AND-SO

 

Anyone else see this commercial? Who was the candidate?

[Guest crandamaniac]

I forgot! For the '02 election, I forget the candidate, he was a semi-big but not Al Gore or George Bush candidate. His ad campaigns focused on anti-illegal-immigration.

 

There's a guy sitting at a table eating spaghetti. Then on the radio he hears "One out of every six American's aren't really Americans - they're illegal aliens", and right then the guy chokes on his food and faints in his spaghetti.

 

STOP ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION - VOTE FOR SO-AND-SO

 

Anyone else see this commercial? Who was the candidate?

I seen them, and it's Pat Buchanan.

 

Worse commercial for me goes for the truth also

[Guest chirs3]

Damn, I'm forgetting quite a few: I freaking hate TheTruth commercials.

[Guest phoenixrising]

Actually I'd like to powerbomb Steve on cement, then shove a Dell computer up his ass while screaming "DUDE YOU'RE GETTING A DELL!!!!!"

 

But I'm not bitter.

 

infect-truth.com ads and the terrorist/drug ads are just bad. See, I liked the "This is your brain/This is your brain on drugs". It got its point across and that was it. Infect-truth has to do it in a way that's "revolutionary", "hip", "anti-establishment", whatever. It's just stupid. I find myself waiting for the cops to come and arrest the idiots and give them a beating as well.

 

I'm surprised no one on the terrorist/drug ads has come straight out and said "I caused 9/11" or something to that effect - cause that is the basic message. "9/11 is such a national tragedy...but instead of reviewing our foreign policy and revamping our intelligence agencies, let's blame the stoners! Yeah! They must be responsible!" I don't do drugs, but I would have no problem if they were ever legalized, and I think they won't be because the government would rather use our tax dollars to arrest users rather than send them through programs.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Those goddamned Truth commercials and the Girls Gone Wild videos infomercials suck too. I can't tell you how much I hate the music that plays during them.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

I'm surprised no one on the terrorist/drug ads has come straight out and said "I caused 9/11" or something to that effect - cause that is the basic message. "9/11 is such a national tragedy...but instead of reviewing our foreign policy and revamping our intelligence agencies, let's blame the stoners! Yeah! They must be responsible!" I don't do drugs, but I would have no problem if they were ever legalized, and I think they won't be because the government would rather use our tax dollars to arrest users rather than send them through programs.

They actually did that once in the last few months. The entire commercial had kids/young adults saying that they caused wars in countries and bunch of other terrorist actions. It was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen and I think that some people got so pissed off at it that they just yanked the damn commercial for good.

[Guest Black Lushus]

no, folks, nothing is worse than the damned Subway commercials with that former fat ass Jared...i hate seeing that fuck all the time on my TV....like we're supposed to believe he lost all that weight eating nothing but Subway...

[Guest Vyce]

I actually liked the commercials linking drugs to terrorism.

 

Because if you do do drugs, you really are helping support SOME form of terrorism. It may not be Al Queda. It may be some drug warlord down in Colombia. But in some way, it's all paid with bloodshed.

 

Notice how I have NO sympathy at all for drug users?

 

Those commercials are unpopular because no one wants to accept anything remotely resembling personal responsibility.