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Review: WWF One Night Only 1997, from Birmingham, England, 9/20/97

I'm not too happy with the Bengals losing right now, so here goes something to get that off my mind. The bolded are always the title matches, if that's what you're interested in.   We start off with a video package narrated by Jim Ross, it's about Bulldog's career accomplishments, and it shows the finish to Bret/Bulldog at Summerslam 92. Good stuff.   On commentary are the Three Stooges, Vince, JR, and Lawler. Can't stand Vince commentated shows, but since I'm reviewing, my mind is hardly on the announcing.   1st match, the "King of the Ring" Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna v. Dude Love.   Prematch: Kicks off with a cool Dude promo where Dude talks his jive and funkiness in an english accent. Corny, but it fits with the character. HHH comes out and Chyna has no tits. You know how those guys in the WWE folder call all the women trannies? Well, I wouldn't blame them in this case. She looks like she's packin' heat.   Blow-by-blow: A quick backdrop off a whip, and a slugfest in the corner for the quick start. DUDE'S TAKIN OVAH (sorry for the bWo reference) so HHH bails and gets clocked on his way in with a right. Dude starts some work on the left arm, then he does an armbreaker type thing and takes HHH down to the canvas. HHH fights him off, whips him in and tries a drop toe hold, but Dude jumps over it and gets his own. He gets a modified indian deathlock, works on that for a bit, and throws HHH into the buckle. HHH does a Flair flip and gets caught upside down. Love pounds on him and nails an elbow to the face of HHH. Dude TUNES UP THE BAND AND IT'S TIME FOR SWEET SHIN MUSIC DADDY, but HHH simply jumps over it (much like Dude jumped over the drop toe hold earlier) and bails to the outside. Dude chases him around and gets clocked by that strong man in HHH's corner Chyna with a clothesline, and she throws Dude back in the ring for his trouble. She picked him up with ease, at that. Then she helps HHH beat up Foley in the corner as he distracts the ref, then the signature H knee to face, and an abdominal stretch after another whip. HHH gets caught with his hand on the ropes for leverage, so Mike Chioda tells HHH to break. HHH argues with the official, but the official fights back and pushes HHH to the canvas. Back on the inside, Dude gets a bulldog for 2, then HHH gets a swinging neckbreaker for two off a reversal. He does that stupider than shit courtsey, so it's a good thing Dude slingshots him into the post, and rams his head three times into each turnbuckle (top, middle, bottom). An avalanche by Dude and then another one where HHH gets his foot up. It gets a 2 count. Don't know why the spot was repeated. Anyway, HHH goes up to the top and Dude goes all "fuck that shit", and armdrags HHH down from the top rope. Cool. Dude Love TUNES UP THE BAND AND IT'S TIME FOR SWEET SHIN MUSIC DADDY and this time he hits it, and adds a double-arm DDT to boot. During the pin, Chyna puts HHH's foot on the rope to save him. That bitch. Dude gets distracted, turns around, and gets Pedigreed to finish at 12:51. The Pedigree isn't the same without JR screaming GAWD DAMN PEDIGREE HE HIT IT HE HIT IT KING GAWD DAMMIT NEW CHAMP THAT SON OF A BITCH.   Match analysis: These two have pretty good chemistry and it showed. They both kept a good pace and the Chyna trash didn't affect the match in any negative way. I enjoyed it...***1/2.   _________________________     Here's a little segment where they have an interviewer ask people outside the arena who they think will win a match, in this case, they ask who's gonna win the European Title match later tonight. Oh YEAH.   2nd match, Leif Cassidy v. Tiger Ali Singh w/Tiger Jeet Singh.   Prematch: Fuck. What did I do to deserve a Tiger Ali Singh match. Guess I'll stop watching wrestling again.       Ok, I'm not going to do that. Sunny's the guest ring announcer, which no doubt played a part in this decision. Yeesh. Terrible music for both, as Tiger Ali brings Tiger Jeet with him, and Ali cuts a promo about being drug-free and some other shit, quite frankly, it sucks and I wasn't paying attention. Jeet cuts a promo of his own in Indian and I can't understand a word. I'm not going to call Snow "Cassidy" either. Bunch of "fuck that."   Blow-by-blow: King says something about both Tiger Ali and Tiger Jeet being taxi drivers...and in response, Tiger starts things off with some shitty looking punch, kick. Tighten it up, for fuck's sake. Ali gets a belly-to-belly which was the best move of this match BY FAR, and Al Snow hits a clothesline in respons. Spinning heel kick and an ARMBAR by Snow and Ali's selling of the move is terrible, as is he. Blown roll-up spot by Ali, then a blown pickup to place Snow on the top rope...but after a while Tiger finally gets him up there and delivers a bulldog for the pin at 4:06. Announcers dubbed it, "the Tiger Bomb." Whatever.   Match analysis: Tiger Ali Singh is terrible. Why waste words. 1/4* for the belly-to-belly.   ________________________     Before the next match, they show Austin costing Owen and Bulldog the tag team championship at Ground Zero. The winners of that bout, are the champions in this bout.   The 3rd match, is for THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD. The challengers are LOS BORICUAS, Savio and Miguel version and the champions are THE HEADBANGERS, THRASHER AND MOSH.   Prematch: I love Los Boricuas' music. Miguel Perez is hairy.   Blow-by-blow: Boricuas attack, but the Headbangers fight them off, when things shake out it's Perez and Mosh in there with Mosh giving an armdrag to Perez. Thrasher tags in and hits a clothesline on Perez from the 2nd rope. Savio tags in and he and Thrasher trade headlocks (3 for each) and Perez tags in. Savio catches Thrasher with a knee after Thrasher charges into the heel corner, then Savio comes in and gives him a NICE running leg lariat that puts Thrasher out on the floor. Thrasher's in trouble, as Savio and Miguel switch in and out after some punches and Mosh's attempt to break the doubleteam up. Nerve hold by Savio, and a false comeback off a crossbody gets 2 for Thrasher. Miguel gets a twisting senton and a standing moonsault for two as he tags in, and we GO BACK TO THE NERVE HOLD. Generic heel offense leads to a front face lock and subsequent fake hot tag, during the process Los Boricuas switch again, illegally. Miguel back in and A NERVE HOLD, THEN A CHINLOCK, knee to the stomach of Trasher and Savio gets in. He misses a splash, and there's a fake hot tag segment that fooled me. I had a mark moment and really thought Thrasher would get there. He's been in for 8 solid minutes at this point. Anyway, Thrasher finally gets SOMETHING with a sunset flip on Miguel that gets two, and a back suplex for Savio. FINALLY Mosh gets the hot tag and gives Los Boricuas the standard fare when a guy gets tagged in. A rana from the top by Mosh and a powerslam gets 2. The heels regain control as Perez hits a nice powerbomb on Thrasher, but Mosh comes off the top with the POWER OF HIS ASS for 3 at 13:25.   Match analysis: Kinda lame, but there was some good stuff in here. **1/4.   OK, from here, through Flash Funk v. The Patriot (*3/4), and Godwinns v. LOD (*1/2) is lost. I'm not reviewing those two boring matches again.     ________________________   Crappy Shamrock/Rockabilly sequence that they originally did on the 3/17/97 RAW. Waste of time.     ________________________   6th match, THE MAN THEY CALL VADER BAH GAWD v. Owen Hart w/the Canadian Flag.   Prematch: On his way to the ring, Owen drapes his Canadian flag over the heads of the commentators. Nice.   Blow-by-blow: Vader shows how strong he is and Owen bumps like a champ for it, in the process, Vader asserts himself as the heel in the bout. That's how you're supposed to work, adjust to the reaction you're getting and go from there. Owen gets a rana after forcing Vader to do a little running around, and a springboard crossbody off the turnbuckle gets 2 for Owen. He goes for the Sharpshooter, but Vader's too fat and not tired enough for Owen to pull it off. Vader's too big for Owen to suplex, so Vader tries his own that Owen reverses through and gets a rollup for 2. Smooooooth. Owen tries a crucifix but gets nailed with a samoan drop, so Vader drags Owen toward the buckle and gets a splash from the second rope (not the Vader Bomb) for two. Owen does the Bret© turnbuckle spot where he runs toward the turnbuckle at 100 mph, you know; he tries a bodyslam afterward but Vader is TOO FAT. Vader takes advantage of this situation and pulls out the rarely used armbar, and then the chinlock. Vader gets an avalanche and some submission work, an armbar, then a modified STF/halfcrab-ish thing. Owen has this fixation with SLAMMING Vader, but he can't this time after Vader misses an avalanhe, instead Owen whips Vader into the ropes and gets clotheslined for his efforts. Another modified halfcrab and a BIG splash for two. Vader tries a powerbomb, Owen attempts a kick and gets caught, so he pulls out the enziguri. Vader's down, Owen goes for the Sharpshooter. Teased finish as the hold is applied for a while, but Vader gets to the ropes. They get up and OWEN FINALLY SLAMS HIS FAT ASS for 2. They fight in the corner and with Owen down, it's Vader Time, Vader Bomb Time, as he goes up. He eats knees and a top rope dropkick from Owen. Leg lariat from off the ropes, and Owen has this seeming lack of focus and WILL TO WIN as he goes up to the top. Vader catches him on his way down and gives him a BIG POWERSLAM (Owen's head nearly bounces off the canvas) for the finish at 12:13. Owen should have went over, here.   Match analysis: I loved it. Good big man v. little man thing goin' on, and both guys really had their working boots on. One of Vader's last good matches in the WWF, I couldn't say if he's had any since. ***1/2.     ________________________   A video of Summerslam, when Shawn laid out UT to give Bret another WWF Championship.   The 7th match is for THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. The challenger is from DEATH VALLEY, it's some guy called THE UNDERTAKER and the champion is this other guy from CALGARY named BRET THE BEST THERE IS BEST THERE WAS AND BEST THERE EVER WILL BE EXCELLENCE OF EXECUTION THE HITMAN HART.   Prematch: UT cuts a promo about resting in peace and all that jazz, lots of lighters flickering as per usual on his entrance with the lights off.   Blow-by-blow: The action is fast and furious, I kept up as best as I could until it slowed down a bit. Bret starts strong but UT stops things with a choke toss, knees to the gut in the turnbuckle, and a choke in the corner. As the official damns UT straight to hell for daring to use a choke, Bret unties the turnbuckle pad, leaving the buckle exposed. Bret can't get a hiptoss, so UT clotheslines him straight to the canvas for 2. UT misses an elbow drop, so Bret goes for the Sharpshooter. He can't get it, so on UT's way back up, Bret hits him with a clothesline, then he dumps UT and hits him with a quick baseball slide that drives UT into the announce table. Bret tries an axhandle from the second rope, but gets caught and spinebustered on the padding. They fight up the entrance aisle and UT gains the edge with a slam and a choke. Bret plays "I'm out on my feet" and UT guides him back to the ring and tosses him in. Punches and a side headlock by the big, dead guy, then he sends Bret into the ropes and is hit with a running DDT by Hart. 3 elbows to the leg by the Hitman, but UT no-sells the elbows and sits-up. Bret rakes UT's face across the top rope and chokes him, but UT gets the edge. The camera focuses on the turnbuckle pad, and sure enough, Bret does his spot and runs 100 mph into the exposed turnbuckle. He's having chest pain, so logically, UT delivers a HEART PUNCH (!) and elbows to the chest that get a 2 count. UT gets a crucifix for 2, then hits Bret with a backbreaker-turned-backbreaker submission. Drops him, but the cover only gets 2. Bret starts to work on the left knee and it's surprisingly SOLD for a LONG TIME by Taker, as Taker fails a charge to the exposed buckle, and his knee's about to tear, he's about to die again, and he's going to get buried alive.     Seriously though, Bret goes to work on the left knee, and once he ain't feelin' it anymore, UT can't stand up. Bret sees it, loves it, and starts again. He drags him to the ringpost and puts on the MOTHERFUCKING RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR, and Chioda says "no more of that", so Bret gets up, drags Taker to the middle of the ring, and applies it regularly. The crowd gets a "Rest in Peace" chant going, so Taker rises up from the death, gathers the power of the creatures of the night and reverses the Figure-Four. This goes on for a while and finally Bret gets to the rope. Taker sells the leg really well whilst buidling some offense, he misses a big boot with the right foot (cause he can't get the left leg in the air, see) and Bret goes back to the left leg with a kick to it on the big boot miss. When I say go back to the leg in this sense for this match, I mean the simple leglock they use in the Smackdown! series of games. Wrap UT's leg around the knee of Bret, and the like. UT tries to apply a chinlock while Bret's head is near UT's arms, but UT can't, so he tries to slug away instead. The Excellence of Execution begins with russian leg sweep.suplex.backbreaker.elbow from the second rope. NO, WAIT. Some variation, with UT getting his boot up in Bret's face so the elbow doesn't come down. They both stagger to their feet, and they each hit a clothesline for a well-deserved 8-count rest. UT up first, and he uses his right leg for a legdrop to the sack of Bret, but Bret grabs on, reverses and grabs the Sharpshooter, but UT kicks him off into the ropes and Bret responds with a headbutt to the abdominal area. Taker grabs a choke (which I believe was him looking for the chokeslam) and gets kicked in the leg, but he no-sells it   TIMEOUT. First time the Freakin' Undertaker, king of the no-sell no-sold that leg all match. Must be some kind of record.   and hits a big boot. Legdrop with the right leg for UT gets a 2 count. Bret goes to the outside and grabs the ringbell. UT boots him in the gut and Taker decides he wants to give the bell a go, but the referee snatches it out of his hands. Taker's pissed, but he sees Bret on his way back up and dumps him. He whips Bret into the stairs, they go back in and Bret does this spot where he gets whipped toward the exposed turnbuckle, but instead of taking another blow from the buckle to the chest, he slides down and takes a big ram-slide into the post. I don't know how many people noticed it, but it's an awesome added thing to the match. UT grabs the arm and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but Bret armdrags him off the top rope. UT attempts a Tombstone, but Bret rolls him up for two. They do another Tombstone reversal sequence with Bret attempting it first, but this time UT gets through, has him in Tombstone position, and in a spot that looked kinda contrived, he drops Bret through the ropes, tying him up by his head. Taker beats Hart up while in the ropes, and the referee decides he's going to disqualify UT at 28:31, by way of the almost never-used, you had 5 and didn't break, match over spot. Chioda gets chokeslammed, Brisco goes down to help untie Bret, and he gets chokeslammed, Owen gets Bret out of there, and UT chases them to the back. Apparently Tim is Impotent. Sorry Tim. As the ring announcer calls the decision, UT makes his way toward him. Poor guy. Announcer gets out of dodge, and that's it. What a fucking match, and Bret keeps his title.   Match analysis: What can one say about this match. Find it. Watch it. Record it and keep it. It's so easy to just dismiss this as a carryjob by Bret, but that's fucking bullshit. UT busted his ass, and he showed what he could do when he wasn't in there with a slug. The guy can work, period. BY FAR, this is The Undertaker's best match. I'd have given it ***** if UT hadn't no-sold the leg and if there was a legit finish to the match. As it stands, it's hard to believe anything on this show could top it. Right here, the show should have been over. Should have been. ****1/2 for the best match I've watched in a long time.   ________________________   HBK promo about winning the Grand Slam (WWF, Intercontinental, Tag, and European Titles)...yadayadayadayada, it was better when Sunny was with you.   In the Main Event, from Birmingham, England, "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels v. "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith, for the European Championship, in this very ring, ON THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF THIS VERY SPORT.   Prematch: Davey's terminally ill sister comes out with him, and HBK does some quality heeling by breaking a kid's Bulldog figure. These two have history, as well. Crowd is rabid for Davey, and HBK is getting a sorta-pop. For now.   Blow-by-blow: Shawn somehow gets to the top, he winds up being tossed off, chopblocked and dumped over the top by Davey. I didn't know I was watching a MONGO match. Shawn with some rights on the apron, but he gets thrown in the hard way and military pressed as Davey parades around the ring. Hebner pleads for Davey not to throw Michaels into the crowd in a Bam Bam v. Spike esque moment. Davey gets an abdominal stretch after an irish whip, Shawn gets a hipblock of that and HBK takes a huge back body drop bump to the outside. In the hard way, Davey armdrags him (I thought we were done with that shit) and then gives him an armdrag press (you know, when a guy has someone in an armbar and lifts them over their head. If anyone knows what that is, I'd appreciate finding out). Shawn stalls for a bit, then takes some shoulderblocks around the ring. He runs to three sides of the ring in the process, getting shoulderblocked twice, but on the third time, he pokes Davey in the eye. Nice. Shawn tries a rana, but gets a sitout powerbomb instead, a samoan drop and then a surfboard. Davey's shoulders are down for two in the process (I don't know why, but Davey calls Hebner a son of a bitch after the count. I guess he thought Hebner was going to screw him, and this is before the screwjob. Weird little moment.) Afterward, Davey gives Shawn a delayed vertical suplex, and RICK RUDE, "THE INSURANCE POLICY" is on his way to the ring. Davey and Shawn do a rollup reverse sequence, and Shawn gets two out of it after Rude tips the rollup in favor of Shawn. Rude with some interference while Shawn distracts the ref, and Shawn goes to the top and hits an axehandle all the way to the floor. More Rude interference, and on the inside, Shawn gives Davey a back elbow and follows with a sleeper. Davey powers out and hits him with a nice back suplex for 2. HBK puts DBS hard to the buckle, and then hiptosses him and applies a short-arm scissors. Davey powers out in a nice-looking sequence that makes Davey look like a strongman, and uses a modified electric chair drop. They both collide, and HHH and CHYNA are on their way to the ring. Davey backdrops Shawn, tosses him to the buckle, then a Flair flip by Shawn as he gets tripped and slingshot into the post for two. Shawn turns the tide after a failed charge by Smith and slams Davey, then up to the top for an elbow. He nails it. HE TUNES UP THE BAND FOR SWEET CHIN MUSIC, but SWEET CHIN MUSIC misses, so Davey goes for THE POWERSLAM OF THE UNION JACK, but Rick Rude holds his leg and they dump to the outside. HHH can't help Shawn, HHH takes a clothesline from Davey. Davey blows THE POWERSLAM, HAIL BRITTANIA on the outside (I'm not sure if it was a blown spot, so *'s won't come off, but it sure looked like it) as his foot gets caught between the padding on the outside of the ring and the barricade separating that from the seating. Commence the overbooking. HHH and Rude work the barricade to make it look like they're doing damage, but they're really trying to get Davey's leg out, and once Davey gets up it's SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and then a PEDIGREE by HHH, and they put Davey back in. Here's where shit gets out of hand, so I'm going to separate this from the review. The guys in the ring and the promotion crossed the fucking line.   Once inside, Shawn pulls Davey's knee brace off and throws it to Diana Hart/Smith. I believe he says "this is for you," and if he did, kinda fucked. Anyway, Shawn applies a figure-four leglock, and uses HHH to hold onto for leverage. Davey bites the BLOOD CAPSULE and is capsuling out of his mouth, so sayeth the Three Stooges. After about three minutes of the figure-four and HHH and Chyna grabbing HBK for leverage, HHH distracts the ref and Rick Rude clocks Davey in the head, and Davey passes out at 22:53. The new European Champion is Shawn Michaels. Once the match is stopped, HBK FUCKING BURIES the Bulldog on the stick, knowing full well DBS can't do shit about it or he'll get fired, then HBK BURIES his terminally-ill sister, and HHH follows with it. There's trash all over the ring, and kids, THAT'S HOW YOU KILL A TOWN. Diana runs in the ring and tries to help Davey (worked-shoot or what, I have no idea), but she can't do a thing, so the Harts save. How's Davey's sister supposed to know whether or not these words are a shoot or work. She sure looked like she wouldn't be able to tell. HHH carries HBK out of the ring with the belt as they both yell, TRIPLE THREAT BAYBAY, HBK's got his Grand Slam, a town is killed, and not a single soul goes home happy. The face reaction for HBK is completely gone. What would soon be Degeneration-X celebrate on the ramp as the show ends.   Match analysis: Techincally, the match was sound until the overbooking. Complete and total fucking overkill once it hit that point. I really don't know how to rate the match. Post-match disgusted me, and it probably would have been better if Davey lost clean. EVERYONE involved should be ashamed of themselves. Yeah, I know the reason for it being this way, but at a point it crossed the line between what is acceptable and what isn't. Disgraceful.   Oh yeah, the match. **** for that, as I was diggin' it until the end. The finish had kept Davey strong, but not like it mattered. He got buried quickly after.     As for the whole show, I'm giving it ***3/4. It's a must watch, with UT's best match, one of Bret's last great matches, and a good Bulldog match with a pivotal moment in WWE history. And it has Dude Love. For the negatives, Tiger Ali Singh. At times it drags, but you can FF through it. ____________________________             Ok, whew, I got through the Big Ones section this time. That's the hard part. If you don't like long reviews, my style probably isn't for you. Suggestions, comments, concerns, recommendations, pretty much anything is welcome. I'll be doing the MNW separately, and the NWA and WCCW reviews should be fun.
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Review: WWF Monday Night RAW, from Atlantic City, New Jersey; 8/15/1997.

Let's see how this compares to Nitro, shall we? ___________________   Rick Rude comes out, and wants everyone to shut up. I thought he was going to launch into the old routine. Similar, but instead of taking his robe off, he just asked everyone to be quiet. He cracks a few insurance jokes, and leaves. He sells insurance to all. ___________________   Owen Hart and The British Bulldog will face The Legion of Doom in our first match.   - Slaughter and Shawn Michaels were arguing in the back prior to this...   - At about the four minute mark, Animal tags in, and the Godwinns head down to the ring. One of them hits Animal with a slop bucket, and Owen pins Animal for the win at 4:58. *3/4. After the bout, all three teams fight. Nothing was solved. ___________________   Mankind has some comments about Taker...he still hasn't forgotten their feud not so long ago.   Shawn Michaels says that he's mad about the WWF, then we've got ___________________   Sunny to the ring, to introduce Brian Christopher vs. Flash Funk.   - Both Christopher and Funk had some recorded comments. Christopher wanted to face a heavyweight after his disappointing loss to Taka Michinoku. Vince's comments that try to put Flash over are hilarious. "Oh he's so funky." Picture it. Lawler wants his son to give Funk a piledriver, but his words distract Christopher, leading to a Funk 450 splash for the victory at 3:41. **. ___________________   Taker comments on Shawn, and then says that Mankind had better stay in line. Well, he's right. ___________________   The Sultan w/The Iron Sheik is up against Ken Shamrock.   - Shamrock is quite popular. Sheik jumps up on the apron and is given a belly-to-belly suplex. Shamrock rana's Sultan, slaps on the ANKLE LOCK, and Sultan taps out at 3:16. *1/2. Dominant performance. ___________________   The Nation of Domination comes down for an interview...Faarooq first. He says that Ahmed Johnson is a white man. No shit. He said that Ahmed couldn't be white if they sandblasted his ass. Very harsh. Just kidding about the "no shit" comment in regards to Ahmed being white. Rocky's got the microphone now, and calls the Disciples of Apocalypse a bunch of racists. Well, the Harris Brothers are part of the faction. I'd call it likely. It's a good heat promo from Rocky too. Calls the fans jackasses and that sort of thing, until DOA pop up on the TitanTron. They're there to kick ass. Come on down to the parking lot and they'll fight.   After HHH cuts a promo, they do fight. Until Los Boricuas take DOA's choppers. LOL. ___________________   Jesse Jammes vs. Brian Pillman in a dress...   - Funny dress, this one. I don't like this angle anymore. Goldust comes out and elbowdrops Jammes, which leads to Pillman getting DQ'd at 1:47. Good finish. That should happen in all "you must ________ if you lose" matches.   - Afterward, Pillman says that he'll leave if Goldust can beat him. Well! But, if Pillman beats Goldust, Marlena has to be Pillman's personal assistant for thirty days. Goldust declines, but Pillman says that Dakota is his lovechild. Goldust runs to the ring to beat Pillman up, but can't get to him. Marlena accepts Pillman's challenge, and Goldust ain't too happy about it. ___________________   Vader cuts a promo, and now that the Warzone has begun, it's TIME. Vader's facing the Patriot.   - Bret comes down the aisle, just to stand there. Don't like the way they use Vader, jobbing him out, I mean. Bret being out to watch sucks all the heat out of the match. Or maybe this is the Atlantic City crowd. We'll see. Full nelson slam gets the win for the Patriot at 4:56. Good win for him. **.   Vader knocks the Patriot off the apron, and beats him up on the inside. He's going to give Patriot a VADER BOMB, but Bret places the Canadian flag on Patriot. That pissed Vader off pretty bad. Vader breaks the Canadian flag, then he and Bret fight. Patriot won't let Vader get beat up, either. Go Vader! ___________________   Bret cuts a promo in the back, says that Vader's next after the Patriot. Well, go figure.   Steve Austin had a great sit down interview with Jim Ross in which he talked about his neck injury. Great. Great. Great. ___________________   Triple H and Shawn Michaels w/Chyna are now going to face The Undertaker and Mankind in the main event...   - Shawn's interaction with Chyna prior to the match was funny. Think it's kinda funny that WWF and WCW ran two big tag matches on the same night.   - All these dudes are still involved with the company. BUT TAKER RETIURD!1!11!1   - Before the commercial, Rick Rude came out. Good. Total brawl in front of a not heated AC crowd, Rude distracts, which leads to HHH being given a chokeslam by Taker. Shawn hits Taker in the head with a chair for the DQ at 8:31, and Taker blades. Again in the head, then Taker sits up, and the future DX leaves. All over. **3/4. ___________________   Rating: Great. Angles were really top notch, and wrestling was okay for TV. However, crowd sucked a fat one.   Best Segment: I liked when Vader kicked Bret's ass.   Worst Segment: Pillman in a dress. ___________________   RAW wins this time, by far. Next I'll review Vengeance 2007.  
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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 4/7/97, from Muncie, Indiana.

Let's see if RAW will be as good as Nitro. ___________________   A recap of Mankind's actions last week is aired first, and then, the intro to the show. Remember, Mankind lit a fireball in Undertaker's face.   Commentators this week are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and the Honky Tonk Man. Half the roster is overseas. The other half is what you'll see tonight.   The first match is a non-title tag team match (why non-title?), with Owen Hart and the British Bulldog facing the Godwinns.   Before the match, Owen says that he's thankful for Bret Hart, and when Shawn Michaels has his interview later, he better not have anything bad to say about his brother. Henry starts the match off with a press slam that gets 2, OHHEGOTHIMNOHEDIDN'T. Henry slams Phineas onto Owen, and after the Hart Foundation members retreat, Owen gets an armwringer and tags Bulldog in. Phineas gives Bulldog a hiptoss, and sorta freaks out, making the Harts retreat. I have no idea what that was about, but at the same time, the picture went into splitscreen mode, with Shawn Michaels on the other side. Of course, he didn't have much to say. Owen gives Phineas a spinning heel kick as he gets back into the ring, then Phineas gets a backslide for 2. It's hard to describe the action, just picture it in slow motion. An Owen enziguri gets 2, and we go to a   commercial break.   Back from the break, Henry gets tagged in, and slams both men. Split screen with LOD, as Henry gives Bulldog a slop drop, but the referee's not paying attention. Owen comes off the top rope with a double axhandle onto Henry, and puts Bulldog on top of Henry for the cover and victory, at 7:11. 1/4*, junk. LOD make their way to the ring, and the Godwinns slop them on accident. Is that how the Godwinns turn heel? ___________________   Owen and Bulldog are in the promo area, and they enlighten us with reasons why America is a joke, namely referring to the Godwinns slopping LOD. Steve Austin happens to wander by, and he looks pissed off. Anyway, it's his match coming up right now, Steve Austin vs. Billy Gunn.   Austin beats up Gunn, then backdrops him, as the match starts. He dumps Gunn to the outside, and chokes him on the top rope on Gunn's way back in. He rams Billy's arm into the ringpost, and applies an armbar, before Billy gives him a neckbreaker. Austin stomps a mudhole in Gunn, and kicks him in the nuts. Stone Cold gives the referee two middle fingers (crowd liked that), and goes up to the top rope. Billy shakes the ropes so Austin gets crotched, and gives Austin a middle finger, which is blurred out by the censors, just like the last one. Gay. Gunn misses a clothesline and that's it, kick, STUNNER at 6:08. Not very good, and distinctly different from Austin's matches after the neck injury at Summerslam 1997. 1/2*, Honky Tonk Man comes into the ring and tells Gunn that he believes in him, and will fix him up. However, Billy Gunn punches his lights out. Gunn wants no part of that. ___________________   Shawn Michaels interview was filled with a lot of shootish comments, but nothing we don't know now. It was probably groundbreaking at the time, but in hindsight, it came off as boring. Shawn talks about sucking up your problems backstage in order to give the fans a show, which is such hypocritical bullshit for a guy that's gotten out of jobbing titles at the rate he has. He says Bret's reason for his return was horseshit, and Bret played the WWF and a "rival organization" in order to get paid as much as possible. There's truth in that. Shawn says the WWF did the best business with him as champ that they did in 6 years previous. LOL. I like Shawn as a wrestler, but he has no business making comments like this. Anyway, the interview got boring, just like Bret's interview a week or two ago. Owen and Bulldog make their way to the ring, but Shawn grabs a chair, so we don't get to see a fight. Pretty much a pointless segment, I suppose. ___________________   Warzone time.   The Headbangers have a match against Barry Horowitz and Freddie Joe Floyd.   Horowitz has a Star of David on his trunks. Does it make me a bad person to have laughed at that? This match goes about 4:14, and the Headbangers win it after a Mosh powerbomb leads to a Thrasher legdrop off the top rope. It was a DUD, so I just made it easier on myself. ___________________   Ken Shamrock vs. Vernon White in an exhibition fight, and I won't give a full review, because worked "shoot" fights, especially this one, aren't very good. Vince McMahon plugs UFC's next PPV before the fight, which is something I guarantee you wouldn't see now. Shamrock wins via ground and pound at 1:57, after White kicked him in the gut. Vince McMahon says, this fight was supposed to be an exhibition, but White took it further than that. I don't know how, or if the blood was real at all, but there was blood everywhere after the ground-n-pound by Shamrock. Vader comes to the ring, does his WHO'S DA MAN thing, and confronts Shamrock. The usual officials come to the ring in order to prevent a scrum, and there's Pat Patterson, with a cigarette in his ear. Hello Pat! ___________________   To follow up on Vader's appearance, he came to the ring, along with Paul Bearer, because Vader's facing Frank Stilleto. Vader does what he usually does to jobbers, and that's beat the shit out of them. He gives Stilleto a release german suplex, then pounds on his face. Splitscreen to Mankind, and he says he'll be at the ring soon. Vader gives Stilleto two VADER BOMBS, and a powerbomb, which leads to a Vader pinfall victory at 2:15. *. ___________________   Gorilla explains the situation for what was supposed to be a Sid v. Mankind match later, and it's that Sid just isn't there. He bailed out on the company, really. Stone Cold comes into the picture after Gorilla says that Austin will have to face Mankind. It's surreal to see Austin cussing up a storm at Gorilla, what with Gorilla being the obvious link to old time wrestling on the show, and all. Austin says he'll face Mankind if he gets to face Bret Hart at Revenge of the Taker. Gorilla gives in, and says Austin can have what he wants. ___________________   Mankind comes to the ring, and explains why he burned Undertaker. He wanted Taker to know what it was like to burn, cause Mankind already knows what it's like. He somewhat references the Deathmatch Tournament in Japan, but not by name, and how he had to fly home with the smell of burnt flesh bothering everyone around him. He gets in a subtle dig at the salary of Marc Mero, by saying he's sick of getting paid less than pretty boys who open the show. Heh. Mankind says it COULD be his last match, but if it is, it'll be Taker's too. He made himself a reservation for a bed at the hospital in Rochester, but he did the same for Taker. Taker's music sounds, and his voice echoes through the arena. Hell hath no fury like the Undertakers, Mankind will know what it's like to burn for eternal damnation, blah blah blah. Pretty good segment. ___________________   Now, Mankind w/Paul Bearer stays in the ring, waiting for Steve Austin to arrive so they can have their match.   Blow-by-blow: Austin comes to the ring, but the crowd gives him very little pop. What's up with that? Austin and Mankind brawl on the outside, and Austin suplexes Mankind on the entrance ramp. Mankind gets a clothesline, and then is tossed into the stairs by Austin. Mankind chokes him, and then legdrops Austin on the ring apron. We go splitscreen with Owen Hart, and he calls Sid a "gutless coward." Good job of explaining the situation, Owen. Mankind whips Austin into the guardrail, and grabs a steel chair. He's unable to hit Austin with it, and Austin drops him onto the guardrail. Austin comes off the ring apron with a double axhandle, which, like I said, is far different than the type of things he'd be doing in the ring a year later. The style he's wrestling here doesn't fit the character. He clotheslines Mankind, but gets put into the bell table afterward. Finally the combatants come inside the ring, and Austin tackles Mankind, then punches him. He kicks Mick in the gut, and gets a back elbow for two. Austin goes to the chinlock, and Bulldog and Owen make an appearance in the crowd. Austin breaks the hold, and tells them to come on down.   commercial break   As we come back, we get a vignette for the upcoming PPV. Not a big deal. Mankind can't suplex Austin in, so he chokes Austin on the top rope. During the break, Mankind hit Austin with a chair. Mankind goes to the chinlock, and during the hold, you can see Austin holding his hands up so he can call a spot. If I wasn't smartened up, I never would've noticed. Austin breaks the hold, but misses an elbowdrop. Mankind gives him another legdrop on the apron, and Mankind peels back the padding on the floor. Mankind gives Austin a Cactus style elbow off the apron, and an eye rake afterward. Mankind attempts to piledrive Austin on the ramp, but gets pushed off the ramp, HARD, into the guardrail. No wonder this guy has brain damage. The two wrestlers get in the ring again, and Owen and Bulldog have decided to make their way down from the crowd. The Legion of Doom join them at ringside, and chase the Hart Foundation members. Austin gives Mankind a clothesline while this is happening, then stomps a mudhole in Mankind. Vader comes out to help Mankind, but hits him instead. The bell sounds at 11:10, denoting a no-contest. Vader and Mankind fight, but Uncle Paul gets them to stop. **1/2. That's the end of the show. ___________________   Rating: Poor. If not for the Austin/Mankind match, the show would have been completely forgettable.   Best Match: Obviously, Austin vs. Mankind.   Worst Match: Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. The Godwinns.   Loudest Sound: Shawn Michaels, then Vader and Shamrock's confrontation.   No Sound: The Headbangers and Billy Gunn. Jobbers don't really count. ___________________   Nitro wins this battle. Better matches, and it was more consistent throughout the course of the show. It was to be expected though, with half the roster being overseas, the show was bound to suck.
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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 4/28/97, from Omaha, Nebraska.

Now, to follow up... ___________________   Welcome everyone to Monday Night RAWWWW. Flashback to Steve Austin/Bret Hart from last week. As much as I liked the angle, I could've done without that. ___________________   Brian Pillman comes out to the ring, with a mic I might add, and begins to talk about religion. He wants everyone to pray for Bret Hart, and the people who liked what Austin did to Bret. He prays for the destruction of Austin, and that people everywhere will begin to listen to Bret again. Austin comes on the TitanTron, and says that Pillman had better pray. Pillman says he'll turn the other cheek, then turns around and bends over so that his ass is facing the TitanTron. Here comes Austin to the ring, and it was a trap. Owen and Bulldog try to attack Austin, but Austin runs through the ring and into the crowd. Davey and Owen stay in the ring, and pray along with Pillman. Both Davey and Owen pray for Bret, and Austin comes back in, with an axehandle that he broke the end of an ax off from. He chases the three guys away and into the crowd, and tells them they better give their souls to the Lord, cause their asses are his. That segment is open to interpretation. Some may like it, some may not. I thought it was just decent. ___________________   Pillman's praying in the back, before the match between Flash Funk and Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man.   Not bad on paper, but the gimmicks. Oh Lord, the gimmicks. Flash dances, until Rockabilly pushes him to the ground. Flash gives him a dropkick and a hiptoss, and then a springboard crossbody for 2. Flash gives him an armdrag, as we go splitscreen, with Bret sitting in an ambulance, waiting to make an appearance. Back to the action, where Flash dumps Rockabilly to the outside, and follows him out with a clothesline from the 2nd turnbuckle. Honky distracts Flash while Flash is on the apron, which leads to a Rockabilly clothesline. He suplexes Flash in, and gets a cover for 2. A FAMEASSER follows, and Rockabilly goes up to the top. Flash crotches him, but is given a swinging DDT, for 2. Didn't know Billy Gunn had that in him. Honky gets on the ring apron, and Rockabilly runs into him, which leads to Funk giving Rockabilly a hurricanrana, and the pinfall for Flash, at 4:21. I don't quite get why they'd have Rockabilly lose this match. **. After the match, Honky hits Flash in the head with his guitar. Poor guy. ___________________   Bret Hart comes out of the ambulance, and to the ring. He talks about Pillman's praying, and says that it can't help you all the time. More anti-American stuff, mainly talking about how bloodthirsty we are. He says that Austin and Shawn Michaels will be the next to get put in an ambulance. ___________________   Austin's in the back, looking for the First Aid room. After that, there's a FUNNY WWF commercial. Prelude to the attitude. ___________________   The next match is the Legion of Doom v. Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon.   Before the match, we go split screen and listen to Furnas talk about being a legitimate wrestler, and that it's the fans fault they haven't been able to win matches. That's cool. Animal and LaFon start, and Animal gives him an elbow to the head. LaFon comes back with a spinning leg lariat, but Animal gives him a flying shoulderblock and an elbowdrop. Furnas and Hawk tag in, and Hawk gives him a clothesline and neckbreaker. Hawk gives him a fistdrop, but Furnas quickly gives him a belly-to-belly suplex, and a legdrop. LaFon tags in, and they both give Hawk a shoulderblock, for 2. LaFon gives him a trapping suplex, and a cross armbreaker. He lets go quickly, and gives Hawk a snap suplex. Double colission follows, and so does the hot tag to Animal. Dropkicks for both and a powerslam for Furnas, until Hawk clotheslines both. They go for the DOOMSDAY DEVICE, but Furnas gives Animal a dropkick, knocking both he and LaFon out of the ring. Hawk goes through with the move though and gives Furnas a clothesline off the top rope, which gives LOD the pinfall at 3:47. *1/2. JR's in the ring with Furnas and LaFon, and they say what they said before the match. The fans suck. ___________________   On Shotgun Saturday Night, Sunny was under cover. Literally. Well, the Headbangers came out, and sat in the bed with her. So, she models an Austin shirt on RAW, as Michael Hayes is giving us the rundown on sizes and all that. Whenever Sunny's on my screen is a good thing, but this is lame. Still feel bad for Hayes....   And Ahmed Johnson's backstage. He's sick of the Nation, so he wrecks shit.   Now Pillman kisses Owen's Slammy's, before... ___________________   For the Intercontinental Championship, it's Owen Hart w/Bret Hart and the British Bulldog vs. Rocky Maivia. Owen's family hangs out near the TitanTron, and that'll be the case during the later match as well.   Owen says he's going to win it for Bret. How sweet. Owen attacks Rocky at the start, but Rocky quickly responds with a clothesline, dropkick and an armdrag. He gives Owen a powerslam for 2, and applies an armbar. Rocky gives him a backdrop, and goes back to the armbar, before giving Owen a shoulderblock. Strong start from Rocky. Owen tosses Rocky out of the ring, and gives him a baseball slide. Then Rocky comes back in, and Owen gives him a missile dropkick for 2. Owen goes to the chinlock, and gives him a droptoehold. He snaps Rocky's lower leg back twice, and begins to work on the left knee, with an indian deathlock. Rocky rolls him up for 2, but Owen goes back to the knee, with three leg whips. He goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Rocky won't allow it. Owen gives him a suplex, but Rocky comes back with that floatover DDT of his, which gets two. He gives Owen ROCK BOTTOM, but it only gets 2. Certainly wasn't his finisher then, if you didn't know. Rocky rams Owen into the buckle, but Owen comes out with a spinning leg lariat. Owen goes up top for a moonsault, but he gets crotched, and back suplexed off by Rocky, which gets 2. That spot always makes me cringe, with the way that the recipient lands on his head. Rocky tries a suplex, but Owen rolls through it and winds up behind Rocky, where he pins him with a rolling clutch hold for 3 at 8:26, and the INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE. As much as it boggles my mind to say this, that was his first singles title in the WWF. Yeah, really. **1/2. Rocky did the best he could. Owen celebrates by placing the Intercontinental Title in Bret's lap.   Backstage, Austin's in a wheelchair. What? ___________________   We're in the Warzone, and it's Austin, again. He's carrying that wheelchair through the crowd, and to the ring. He sits in the wheelchair when he gets in the ring, and asks the crowd if they want to see a wheelchair match between him and Bret. He says he'd whip Bret's ass for sure. Austin's gonna whip Taker's as at A Cold Day in Hell, or so he says. Bret pops up on the TitanTron, and promises that Austin will ride in an ambulance. ___________________   Vader's back, and there's some footage of him grabbing the interviewer in Kuwait, during Good Morning Kuwait. Let me say that I'm awfully surprised to see Taker out of character on that show, dressed like he usually did as BikerTaker. More so that it was shown on RAW. A stupid Ken Shamrock video follows that, unfortunately, featuring video from his in-ring interactions. Never liked Shamrock. He's annoying.   Obviously, the previous things shown mean that it's time. It's VADER TIME. He's facing Jesse Jammes. The singing gets worse every week. Vader smashes Jammes, then gives him a big splash off the 2nd rope. He picks Jammes up at two, and gives him the VADER BOMB, to finish the match at 1:35. Thank you. *1/4. JR goes into the ring to ask Vader a few questions, and Vader's first answer is that he went to Kuwait to do a job.     I'll take that literally. He starts to bully JR by taking his hat and glasses, so Ken Shamrock runs to the ring to save JR, by giving Vader a belly-to-belly suplex. Vader bails, and goes into his WHO'S DA MAN routine while walking backstage. Good build for their match at the PPV, which   ___________________   It's Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna vs. Goldust next. Before the match, Goldust says that ringside is no place for a woman, so Marlena's not allowed out there.   Slug it out, until Goldust gives Hunter two clotheslines. He whips Hunter to the corner, where he goes upside down. 10 punch time, and after #9, Goldie bites him. He gives Hunter a BUTT bump, and a slap to the face, before more 10 punch. But before he can get started, Hunter gives him an inverted atomic drop. Hunter follows that with a high knee, and he tosses Goldust out of the ring, where Chyna kicks him a whole bunch. Marlena comes down to the ring, and we have a...   commercial break.   We're back, and Hunter's giving Goldust a knee to the face. Chyna looks like a man, and Vince pretty much compares her to Ellen, calling her a lesbian. I'd say she's a transsexual. Goldust grabs his own nuts, and clotheslines Hunter. Well. Goldust gives him a bulldog, and Chyna moves towards Marlena. Marlena throws powder at Chyna, and Chyna starts choking Hunter, who came out of the ring to get Goldust. That leads to Hunter being counted out at 4:50 (commercial time not included, obviously). Cute little finish, but the match was no good. *. ___________________   The Undertaker comes on the TitanTron as Hunter and Chyna take the quick road backstage (taking a right in the aisleway and walking around the TitanTron), and says a bit about Austin. He's not too worried about him, and he can do worse to Austin than put him in a wheelchair.   After that, Sable models an Undertaker shirt. When I was a kid, well, you figure it out. Pillman prays for Bulldog to hurt the Undertaker, and we get another funny WWF commercial, where this time, the kid thinks he's Stone Cold Steve Austin. ___________________   The main event is the British Bulldog w/Bret and Owen Hart vs. The Undertaker, in a non-title bout. So, this match did happen more than once.   Unfortunately, we go to a   commercial as soon as the match starts, after a Taker choke toss.   We're back, and Bulldog has Taker up in a delayed vertical suplex, which gets 2. Bulldog misses a clothesline, and gets chokeslammed by Taker. That forces Owen to run-in, at 1:18 (commercial not included). No rating, the entire match happened during the commercial.   Austin comes through the crowd to save Taker(?), and after chasing Owen and Davey away, grabs the WWF Title and celebrates with it. Heh. Austin gives Taker a STUNNER, but while flippin' the bird at him, Taker sits up and gives Austin a chokeslam. Don't particularly care for the Taker/Austin booking. They were trying to pop a buyrate, but it's gonna make Austin seem like a bitch, in the end. Remember, I watched WCW in 1997, not much WWF. Austin sees Bret at the stage, and Bret can't get away. When he tries to, JIM FUCKING NEIDHART comes out, and attacks Austin. Bret hits Austin with a crutch, and that knocks Austin off the stage. That looked like a hard fall, with no added protection. We cut backstage as Austin's being stretchered out, and Pillman has this insane look on his face, to end the show. Loose Cannon, indeed. ___________________   Rating: Good. Three things, though.   1. Too much Austin. Just a bit too much. But having Neidhart come back offsets that.   2. No Mankind. Boo.   3. Title change is good. Very, very good.   Plus, any show that Jesse Jammes gets squashed on is fun. The show had a good crowd, for once.   Best Segment: I got the most enjoyment out of Pillman's look at the end, and Neidhart's return. So that.   Worst Segment: The Shamrock video. Ugh.   Loudest Sound: Austin, Taker, and the Hart Foundation. Figures.   No Sound: Furnas and LaFon, Rocky Maivia and Jesse Jammes. They pushed Rocky too hard, too fast. That's not the right way to analyze why the fans hated him, though. They hated him because he was vanilla. No personality, or natural charisma. Now how that changed, I couldn't say. When he went heel, it was like someone flipped a switch. ___________________   Shorties section is next. I've seen everything there is to offer, so far. I'd like for them to add something obscure today. It only took me 2 hours to type 5 pages. That's a new record.
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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 4/21/97, from Binghamton, NY.

Not in a good mood tonight, so time to pound this review out. ___________________   Pictures from Revenge of the Taker, which was the previous night, and after the usual pyro which opens the show, Steve Austin makes his way to the ring for an interview with Vince McMahon. He says he whipped Bret Hart's ass last night, and he wants Bret in the ring, now. He gives him a minute, Bret doesn't come to the ring, so Austin's gonna comes look for him. Bret comes on the TitanTron, and says that the Hart family is too good for the American public. That causes Austin to get on his highhorse and run backstage. Really good segment, IMO. The only problem is, Austin isn't getting the crowd behind him. Dunno why, really. Is Bret that hard to boo? ___________________   Anyway, our first match of the night is The Sultan w/The Iron Sheik vs. Ahmed Johnson.   Sultan starts the fight with some blows to the head and back of Johnson, but Johnson comes back with an axe kick and scissor kick. The Sultan gets a superkick, and a piledriver for 2, after beating up Ahmed in the corner. Sultan goes to the chinlock, and then, Ahmed comes back with a front suplex for 2. Ahmed gets a spinebuster and goes for the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE, but the Nation of Fucking Domination decides to let their presence be known, at the top of the aisleway. They make their way down after the Sultan rams Ahmed into the ringpost, and the Nation makes their way to the ring. Ahmed grabs his 2x4 from under the ring, and hits the Sultan with it, getting disqualified at 4:43. Well, the Nation won't be making their way any closer, they're a little scared. He hits the Sultan with the 2x4 again, and chokes him with it, and well, commercial break. Way too heelish from Ahmed, IMO. *1/4. ___________________   The cameras have found Austin, as he's beating the shit (well, if that applies) out of Bret's lockerroom door, until Bret Hart finally says, send him to the ring. So, we're going to get a match out of this.   Ken Shamrock will be taking on Vader at A Cold Day in Hell, as they reference Vader being held hostage in Kuwait. Remember, he tried to beat up that guy who asked him if wrestling was fake. Anyhow, Ken Shamrock talks about how much he hates bullies, personally, I don't give a fuck what he thinks, and it's funny to hear that talk coming from an Ultimate Fighter, but as it went on, he challenged Mike Tyson to a fight. OK. He stuttered throughout his promo, which basically solidified the fact that you can't let the guy talk on live television. Taped promos are his friend. ___________________   Austin's at the ring again, and acts like he's going to fight Vince, of course he's not going to, though. Bret won't get in the ring, and we soon find out why, as the British Bulldog and Owen Hart attack Austin. Shawn Michaels comes out to attack all three members of the Hart Foundation, but the only one he can't hit with his chair is Bret Hart. Oh well. He chases Bulldog and Owen to the back, and now, the match starts. Bret gives Austin a piledriver, and grabs a chair. He tries to "Pillmanize" Austin's ankle, but he misses his jump off the top rope. Austin hits Bret in the leg with the chair, hard to boot, now Austin's tearing Bret's knee up with the chair. He laughs at Bret, as Bret's hurting pretty bad, now Austin's hitting him all over the place. Austin applies the SHARPSHOOTER, and all the road agents/officials/referees are trying to get Austin to break the hold. He doesn't do it for a while, and he finally does, as we go to a commercial break. Honestly, can't rate the match, that's what it was, remember, and I didn't time it either. Didn't know where to start. Hot, hot sequence that makes me feel like Nitro couldn't attempt to be the better show this week.   Back from the break, Davey, Bret and Owen are in the ring, as Bret's being loaded onto the stretcher. Backstage, Gorilla Monsoon tells Austin he needs to get his ass out of the building. Yeah, he really said that.   It's hour #2, and the WWF decided to follow that great segment with...Salvatore Sincere vs. Tiger Ali Singh. You have got to be kidding me.   Sincere gives Singh a chop, and Singh comes back with an avalanche and belly-to-belly suplex. Tiger gets a bulldog, then Sincere gets some offense, after countering a suplex with a northern lights suplex for 2. Sincere gives Singh a falldown slam, and then an elbowdrop off the top, in Vader Bomb-ish fashion, for 2. Tiger comes back with a sunset flip for 2, and Sincere gives Singh a clothesline for 2. No flow at all, here. Sincere gets a jawbreaker for 2, and Tiger gets a backslide for 2. The crowd really doesn't like this match. Well, finally, Tiger gives Sincere a spinning heel kick, which gets him the win at 4:41. Boy. DUD. Like I've said before, Singh is my least favorite wrestler of all time. ___________________   Ok, we all know what happens here. Bret Hart's being loaded into an ambulance, and once the EMT tells his driver to go, Austin comes out from the drivers seat, and says "we're going straight to hell." Best line EVER. Bret gets the shit beaten out of him by Austin, until Owen Hart saves him, and gets in a couple shots of his own. After the commercial break, Owen and Davey are trying real hard to find Austin. As we segue to... ___________________   This is the feud that ignited the WWF. Fuck that Hart/Austin stuff. Who are those guys? This is Jesse Jammes vs. Rockabilly. Yeah, you heard me.   Rockabilly hits Jammes a whole bunch, but misses a big boot, so Jammes gives him a hiptoss for 2. He gives Rockabilly an armdrag, but only gets 1 on a sunset flip. I forgot, Honky Tonk Man's at ringside, as Rockabilly's manager. But I'm sure everyone knows who the manager of the Federation's biggest star is. Rockabilly rakes Jammes eyes, and then does Honky's little dance. Dear Lord. Rockabilly gives Jammes a suplex, as JR and the King go into this little bit about Honky, and JR asks, "what is he, your cousin?" The King goes, "maybe." Funny stuff. The only thing good about this match, in face. Rockabilly chokes Jammes for the LONGEST TIME, and then applies a chinlock. Jammes starsts his comeback, with a crossbody for 2. He rams Rockabilly into the buckle, then clotheslines him. Rockabilly gives Jammes a hotshot, and then gives him the SHAKE, RATTLE and ROLL for 3 at 8:47. I'll say this. I really, really had to think about giving this negative stars. Brutal stuff. But, the line on commentary caused me to be nice, and give it a DUD. Had I went negative, I had -*1/2 in mind. Honky busts his guitar over Jammes head after the match, in an attempt to get Rockabilly some heat. TRUST ME, nothing is going to get either of these two a bit of crowd reaction. They've been dead since the ambulance thing, and that's unfortunate. In fact, they've been dead ever since Austin started his push a few weeks ago. WHY? ___________________   Austin's arguing with Shawn Michaels now, mainly because Austin doesn't want his help. Good argument, but I didn't get much out of it.   Mankind is on the TitanTron, talking about Paul Bearer's burning flesh and the like. He's the best thing on either RAW or Nitro, honestly. And, as we move on, obviously, since Mankind was on the Tron, we must have...   The Undertaker vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna, in a non-title matchup.   Taker attacks HHH in the aisle, and Chyna doesn't want any part of the fight, as she backs away. Inside the ring they go, and Taker rams Helmsley into the turnbuckle. Taker gives Helmsley a choke toss, then a big boot and clothesline, which gets a 2 count. A Taker legdrop gets one, and now, it's time for OLD SCHOOL. Cover gets 2, and then Taker goes to the chinlock. He throws Helmsley out afterward, and rams him into the steel steps. Helmsley comes back inside the ring, and gives Taker a few punches to the face. Helmsley pushes the referee away, but no ref bump here. Remember, Taker has a "bruise" or whatever you want to call it from Mankind burning his face, so Helmsley continually rakes his hands across it. HHH gets a kneedrop for 2, then puts his head down in an attempt to backdrop Taker, but Taker jumps up and legdrops him, Fameasser style. Taker whips Helmsley into the buckle, and Helmsley goes upside down, like usual for him at that point in time. Taker goes to the chinlock, but he gets dumped to the outside, and Helmsley rams him into the stairs. Helmsley courtseys inside the ring, then gets on the apron and jumps down, delivering an axhandle to Taker. Helmsley applies the chinlock, and uses the 2nd rope for leverage. As we pan out, Dustin Rhodes and Terri are in the crowd, and yes, that's exactly how they were referred to. Surprising, at least to me.   commercial break   And we're back, as Taker gives Helmsley another choke toss. A right puts Helmsley out, and Mankind is making his way to the ring. With a FUCKING BLOWTORCH. Taker chokeslams Helmsley, and Mankind jumps in the ring, and hits Taker with the bottle that's connected to the blowtorch. Obviously, HHH is DQ'd at 12:12. *3/4. Mankind tries to ignite the torch, but it won't ignite. It finally does, as Taker begins to choke Mankind. Quite simply, those two just brawl to the back. But the cool thing is, Dustin and Terri come out of the crowd and beat up HHH and Chyna. Terri chokes Chyna with her purse and all, but we go to a commercial break once all four are separated. ___________________   Austin's with Vince again, in the ring, and he heels on the crowd a little bit. Why, exactly? He says he'll whip Vince's ass if he doesn't leave him alone, and says Taker's going to have the Coldest Day in Hell. I like how he just says, I don't give a crap what day or where it is. Don't get the heeling, though. Owen and Bulldog run out and attack Austin, Vince tries to stop them, but Owen keeps him from doing so. HBK's back to the ring, and he chases Owen and Bulldog to the back. We have a bit of a delay, and all of a sudden, BRIAN FUCKING PILLMAN comes out of the crowd, and beats up Austin with a chair. But again, HBK saves Austin, and the show's over. Why is he doing this, exactly? Guess we'll see soon. ___________________   Rating: Great. The angles on this show, are quite simply, awesome. The dead period in the middle doesn't bother me all that much, because we got to see a Hart/Austin match off PPV.   Best Match: Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart. DUH.   Worst Match: Jesse Jammes vs. Rockabilly. Unfortunately, I have a feeling we'll be seeing those two a lot in this slot.   Loudest Sound: Mankind, The Undertaker, HBK, Bret Hart, and the surprise return of Brian Pillman. Caught everyone off guard, including me.   No Sound: Jesse Jammes, Sal Sincere, Tiger Ali Singh, and the Sultan. Rockabilly got a bit of heat when Honky hit Jammes with the guitar, so, off the list he goes. ___________________   Nitro's next, but since it's Thanksgiving, I'm not going to do much typing today.
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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 3/31/97, from Peoria, Illinois.

We all know which episode this is, and I'm looking forward to it...   ___________________     We start things off with a European Title match, and it's the challenger, Owen Hart, facing off against the champion, The British Bulldog.   Prematch: Owen always has his Slammy's, of course. This match came about because of the two participants pull-apart last week on RAW.   Blow-by-blow: Once Bulldog gets near the ring, Owen baseball slides into him. Owen beats Bulldog up on the outside, and claims that the European Title is HIS BELT. Owen tosses Bulldog in, then hits him with a springboard crossbody for a 2 count. Owen then hits Bulldog with a low blow and some mounted punches, and he follows that with a whip into the turnbuckle and clothesline for a 2 count. Chinlock time, and when Bulldog powers out, he gets kneed in the midsection off a whip. Owen goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but that's not happenin'. Back to the Owen chinlock, but a Bulldog rollup gets a 2 count. Then a Bulldog backslide gets two, and Owen ends Davey's run with a standing dropkick and piledriver. Now we go to a   commercial break   and as we come back, we see that Owen landed an elbow drop from the top rope during the break, and nearly won the match and title. An Owen suplex gets a 2 count, and back to the chinlock again. Up to the top, but Owen misses a dropkick. BULLDOG goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Owen delivers an enziguri to the back of the head. The match is really starting to pick up. Owen backflips off the top after Bulldog fights off a superplex attempt, and Owen knocks Bulldog out of the ring. On the floor, Bulldog catches Owen after Owen attempts to deliver a plancha. Bulldog slams him into the guardrail, and clotheslines him twice. Then, Bulldog slingshots Owen into the turnbuckle and gets a 2 count on the cover. A really bad blown backdrop by Bulldog nearly ends up with Owen landing on his head, but they repeat the spot, then Owen gets dumped. Bulldog suplex Owen on the steel entranceway ramp, and back in the ring, press slams Owen for a 2 count. Ref bump after an Owen leapfrog over a charging Bulldog, and that's the last we see of him. Owen goes out to grab a chair, but Bret Hart comes down the aisle, to keep him from using it. Bret grabs a microphone, and he wants to know where their family values have gone. Bret tells them they're doing what "these Americans" want them to do. He also says that the US loves to turn families against each other. And they group hug, as the Hart Foundation forms. How sweet. Match ran about 13 minutes...   Match analysis: Well, the match was solid, but that wasn't the point. IT's all about the angle, brudda. And you know what, it worked well. The whole segment is a **** segment. The match is **3/4, and the 1/4 is subtracted because of the blown backdrop that could have killed Owen. ___________________   Sunny comes down to the ring for guest commentary...and it's for a match between El Mosco and Super Nova.   The match is sorta drab, but Sunny's commentary where she generally acts like a whore is funny. I like how she calls JR fat, using Spanish. Nothing really to see here, a blown spot or two, and Mosco finishes with a springboard moonsault at 3:53. *1/4. Spare me. To be honest, almost every AAA match that the WWF imported sucked. ___________________   LOD has an interview in the ring where they tell the Harts they shouldn't disrespect the USA. But, the interview was so bad that I couldn't wait for them to finish. It's about their title match against Owen and Bulldog at IYH: Revenge of the Taker. ___________________   Wow. It's Jesse Jammes vs. an unnamed Jobber. His name is Jerry Fox, apparently.   Jesse's singing, and it, along with his theme and ring attire, are awful. AWFUL. That's gotta be embarrasing to do that, and he looks nothing like the man he would soon become. It's a squash, Jammes atomic drops Fox, clotheslines him from the ring apron, and finishes with the Pumphandle Slam at 1:37. 1/4*. Honky likes him and gives Jesse the guitar, but Jesse destroys it. He says the guitar is "out of tune." Keep that shit off my television. ___________________   The NATION OF DOMINATION comes out, and it's Savio Vega and Crush vs. two unnamed jobbers. And this time, I'm not looking it up. When they disposed of squashes on RAW, the world reaped the benefits. Shawn's on the phone to speak his mind, as Crush gives one of the guys a double backbreaker, and then he tosses him over his head. Big back suplex by Crush, then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker follows. And we finish with Demolition Decapitation at 3:16. 1/2*. Waste of time. ___________________   A Ken Shamrock vignette follows, as he has an exhibition next week against an unnamed opponent. ___________________   And it's hour TWO. Paul Bearer has something to say, and his entrance music is African-ish. He wants The Undertaker to take him back. Well, The Undertaker comes out to the ring, and locks the casket set-up at ringside to make sure there's no surprises. Taker says he may be able to forgive Paul, but he'll never be able to forget. He hands Paul Bearer the WWF Title, but then punches Paul's lights out. Taker grabs the urn off the casket, but Mankind comes out from under the ring and lights a fireball near Taker's eye. TAKER CAN'T SEE BAH GAWD, and SID comes out to chase Mankind backstage. My initial reaction to that was, WTF?   Back from a commercial break, and Sid tells Mankind that he's going to burn in hell. OK. ___________________   Now, there are no managers allowed, for the Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust match.   Prematch: No usual Goldust entrance, he only has his wig on. He runs to the ring, and here we go.   Blow-by-blow: Goldust pounds on HHH (fuck Helmsley, it's HHH), HHH does his upside down thing after getting whipped into the buckle, and then he does that Harley race thing where he flies out of the ring after being whipped into the buckle. He perfected it later on when he did it so his face would always hit the guardrail. Back in, and Goldust bumps into HHH with his ass. He misses a crossbody, so HHH takes over for a while. H slams him on the ramp, then goes inside the ring and does that gay courtsey thing. When both men are back in, HHH hits Goldy with a high knee. He chokes Goldust with his boot, and gives him a swinging neckbreaker for a 2 count. A suplex and kneedrop get another 2 count. To the chinlock, until a Goldust crossbody gets a 2 count. This match is pretty slow. A HHH DDT gets a 2 count, and they trade rights until Goldust is dumped by HHH. Chyna's at the stage, and at the same time that we notice him, uh.....er, her, HHH dives to the outside off the 2nd turnbuckle.   commercial break   and we come back with news that Sid will be facing Mankind next week. Does not happen. Anyway, Chyna makes her way to the ring, as Goldust gives HHH the Curtain Call. She beats up some officials, and HHH starts fighting with Pat Patterson. Patterson's giving it to him, and then Chyna beats him up. Goldust and Chyna stare off, and that's it for that. 9:51 is the time, of the cut match.   Match analysis: A decent match, but this feud dragged on way too long. At this point, they'd been feuding for the whole year. Could have been better, cause this was slow. *1/2. I really like Goldust, and I like some of the work that HHH did later on. ___________________   Stone Cold Steve Austin comes to the ring, and Vince is in the squared circle conducting the interview. He calls Ken Shamrock deaf, says that Bret Hart couldn't do a damn thing to him, and that Bret's a piece of trash. Steve's not changin' for anyone, and all he wants to do is whip some ass. Bret comes out on the Titantron, and he says he already beat Stone Cold's ass, and Bret says he's done with Steve Austin. Steve calls Bret a piece of crap, and Bret storms off. ___________________ In the main event, we have an INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE bout, the challenger is Bret "The Hitman" Hart, and the champion is Rocky Miavia.   Prematch: An announcement is made before this match that Bret Hart will be facing Sid at Revenge of the Taker. Again, no. Does not happen. This is the low point of the Intercontinental Title, IMO. Rocky is not over, and this match has absolutely no heat.   Blow-by-blow: The two wrestlers lock up, and Bret takes Rocky over with a headlock. Tony Atlas is in the crowd, hey guy! Bret grabs Rocky's arm and works it over, then a Rocky crossbody gets a 2 count. Both men kip-up after headlock takeovers, and Bret delivers a knee to the midsection of Rocky. Boot to the midsection by Bret, and he rakes Rocky's eyes across the ropes. An inverted atomic drop and clothesline follow, and then we have a Bret Hart russian legsweep. Now we go to a   commercial break   and we come back to an image of Bret headbutting Rocky in the back. Then in the head. Bret with a backbreaker after a back suplex, but he misses his usual 2nd rope elbow. Rocky with a few right hands, and a fisherman's suplex of his gets two. Whoa. Where did that move come from, and why didn't he use it later in his career. A belly-to-belly suplex by Rocky gets two, and his swinging DDT puts Bret out long enough for Rocky to climb up to the top rope. Bret rolls through his flying body press and gets two, and Bret then applies the ringpost figure-four. Unfortunately, he gets disqualified. So Rocky wins the match, and retains his title, at 10:31. Bret won't let go, so Austin comes down to MAKE him let go. Too bad for him though, Owen Hart and the British Bulldog attack him, but the Legion of Doom chase the Hart Foundation into the crowd. End of that, and the end of the show.   Match analysis:Good, old school wrestling match. But even I can't deny that the match was hurt by the lack of heat. I liked it, though. I don't know how much of it was a carryjob, it was really good from all sides. Also a nice way to end the show, too. **1/2 for the match, even though I feel like going a little higher.   ___________________   As for a show rating, on this (Great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible) scale, it's a GOOD show. Almost great, but it dragged. Any TV show with two 10 minute long, almost *** matches is good, IMO.   Rating: Good   Best Match: Owen v. Bulldog   Worst Match: Jesse Jammes vs. Jerry Fox   ___________________   To note, star ratings aren't everything when it comes to Worst and Best matches on a TV show. Other things come into factor.   'Til next time...
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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 3/24/97, from Rockford, Illinois.

The Angels lost today. GOOD.       A flashback to Wrestlemania 13 starts things off, where The Undertaker pinned Sycho Sid in one of the worst WWF main events I've ever seen. One of these days, I'll review it. Have I mentioned I love the entrance to Raw, with the warehouse and that cool song?   The Three Stooges say that the number one contender for the World Wrestling Federation Title is...MANKIND! He and The Undertaker do battle at IYH: Revenge of the Taker, and that can be seen on the 2nd part of the Tombstone DVD that's currently posted on WWE On Demand. I'm still tinkering with my review format, so it'll look different for the majority. It'll be somewhat similar to my last review.   The first match is for the WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, and it's the BRITISH BULLDOG and OWEN HART vs. The Headbangers. The Champions are in caps.   A bit of background on this one, the breakup of Owen and Davey Boy has been teased for a while, and the Headbangers won an 4 way Elimination Tag Team match at Wrestlemania last night to get this title shot.   Owen does his reverse sequence to start things off with Mosh, you know, the opponent armbar, then Owen does his roll-throughs and front flip to change the tide. He reels off an armdrag (I am so fucking sick of this move), and a dragon screw(!) on Mosh. The Headbangers double team Owen, and we wind up with Bulldog and Thrasher in the ring. Bulldog with scoop slam, then a neat double team as he tags Owen and military presses Owen onto Thrasher for a 2 count. RAW goes to a split-screen format, as LOD prepare to face the champs at Revenge of the Taker. Ok, then. Mosh hits the post after a failed charge to the corner, and Bulldog comes back in with a spinebuster. A nice delayed suplex to Thrasher by the Bulldog, and Bulldog accidentally knocks Owen off the apron after being ran into by Thrasher. Owen's pissed and tells Bulldog, "see ya later, do it yourself." And we have a commercial break.   We're back ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW (/vince), and the Headbangers hit a sick combination move on Bulldog that looks somewhat like the Death Sentence of AMW fame. Headbangers with some more double-team moves and this time they really tease the Owen/Bulldog breakup, as Owen won't tag in. Meanwhile, Mosh bigsplashes Bulldog for a 2 count. He goes to whip Bulldog into the ropes, and Bulldog hits a sunset flip on the way back for a 1 count. The Headbangers try a doubleteam, but they both get DDT'd by Bulldog. Hot tag to Owen as he barely sticks his hand out there, and he's a HOUSE OF FIRE, with leg lariats and an overhead belly-to-belly for the opposition. He then hits a backbreaker and quickly tags Davey Boy back in, with Davey Boy having no time to rest. He hits a snap powerslam for two (not his finisher) and gets Owen back in there while he's unawares. Some variation from the norm by Owen, that's a gutwrench suplex and a top rope dropkick for Thrasher, and it's SHARPSHOOTER TIME in Rockford. The hold is broken up by Mosh, and Davey comes in and hits his finish, the POWERSLAM. He tries to drag Owen over for the cover, but Owen's having none of that. He's pissed, and wants to know why Bulldog's hands are on him. Bulldog pushes the ref at 9:31 (cut for commercials), and he goes to war with Owen. Owen wants the European Championship, and Bulldog says sure. Anytime, anywhere, but Owen only gets one shot. The match was **1/4.     Mankind's in the boiler room, and the geniuses with the WWF stuck a camera in there to find out why. Well, Mankind is pissed that Paul Bearer's not with him. He wants his Uncle Paul back. ___________________   We're back from the break, and Bart Gunn's in the ring. He faces off against Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who's accompanied by this strongman named Chyna. Bret Hart's on the Titantron and wants his interview time. Where's my time Vince, where's my time. Everyone's gonna get a piece of Bret's mind. Helmsley freakin' carries Gunn through the first 5 minutes, making the match look decent. Gunn is about to try a bulldog on HHH (fuck it, it's easier, and it's what he is. So I'll call him that.) and Chyna pulls the rope down, dumping Gunn to the outside. Chyna bodyslams him on the outside and rams him into the steel post. HHH pulls Gunn back in and hits the Pedigree at 7:15. *1/2, all for HHH. By the way, next week, it's Goldust v. Hunter Hearst Helmsley, no Marlena at ringside and no Chyna at ringside.   ___________________   We're back, and there's a lucha match that I'm not going to review, because the shitty commentary guys did nothing during the entire match to distinguish the wrestlers from each other. They all look like Power Rangers except for one, who looks like a member of KISS. Anyway, on one team we have, Venum, Super Nova, & Discovery, and on the other we have Hysteria, Abismo Negro, & Maniaco. Bret's still pissed that he hasn't had time to talk yet. The Green Ranger is the best of these luchadors, he hits some great looking moves, but the Yellow Ranger is the worst. He blows balls...and spots. He blows two spots terribly, and the Blue Ranger finishes at 4:10. Apparently the Blue Ranger is on the first team, so sayeth thehistoryofwwe.com. *, pointless.   ___________________   An interview with both Rocky Johnson and Rocky Maivia airs, and it was shot earlier in this very building, as it was empty. Nothing stood out.   Honky Tonk Man's on his way to the ring for guest commentary, and the match is Flash Funk vs. The Brooklyn Brawler. Flash Funk's ring entrance is WAY TOO LONG, I didn't time it but I'll bet it's longer than this match. As one of the participants names would note, they brawl to start and Funk hits a rana. He grabs onto Brawler and hits a half-nelson back suplex, but catches knees on a standing moonsault attempt. Brawler throws Funk into the air for a flapjack, and for some reason, Funk throws Brawler to the outside. THAT reason, just so happens to be a plancha. Back inside for a crossbody by Funk for a 2 count, another back suplex, and the 450 splash finishes at 3:07. Yeah, the entrance was longer than the match.   Shamrock's on the Titantron to explain why he stopped the I Quit Match at WM 13, and we go to break afterward. He gives little insight.   ___________________   We're back with the start of Warzone, and Bret's finally going to get his interview time. To be kind, the reception is lukewarm as opposed to dead, which is what this crowd really is.   Bret apologizes for his actions in the past few weeks, but he damn sure isn't apologizing to the Americans in the crowd. He hates Shawn Michaels, and says that Shawn poses for gay magazines. I like HBK for some reason and no, it ain't cause I'm gay, but it wouldn't surprise me if he really did pose for a gay magazine. Bret's going to clean up the WWF. With middle fingers and vulgarity the likes of which he displays in this promo. He makes fun of Shawn's lost smile and haven't we all, and follows that up with all to oft-used, "you Americans can kiss my ass." Like I haven't heard that before. Everyone screws Bret (ugh), so HBK comes out and gives us a little business exposure as he mentions how hard it is to get the title belt away from Bret Hart. He puts over Stone Cold Steve Austin, says that the fans can do what they want, and at the same time, Shawn wants to fight Bret. Bret tells Shawn he better walk to the back and get the hell out of his face. That line was so brilliantly delivered it could almost be believed to be real. Shawn says that Bret must be you-know-what, cause how else would he know if Shawn posed nude in magazines. Now they fight, and Bret ringpost Figure-Four leglocks him to cement his heel turn. Sid comes out for some reason and chases Bret to the back. Ooooook.   ___________________   But Bret really didn't stay in the back for very long, as he makes his way out to the commentary table as an unwanted guest for the match between the Intercontinental Champion, Rocky Miavia, and Al Snow Leif Cassidy. The bout is not for the Intercontinental Championship. Snow misses a frog splash when they cut back to the ring that would have missed even if Rocky didn't roll. Al is so unsatisfied with his job that at this point, he really doesn't give a shit. Belly-to-belly by Rocky gets 2, and then his rollover DDT and crossbody from the top finish the bout, as the Intercontinental Champ picks up the victory. And he is not over, at all. In fact, this crowd is dead, and has been all show. DUD for the match.   ___________________   The last match of the show is Ahmed Johnson vs Savio Vega, the Nation of Domination made their way to the arena, but they're staying on the entrance ramp, because Ahmed brought his Jim Duggan endorsed 2x4. Faarooq's "hospitalized", so he's not there. Crush is the defacto leader. Savio works him over with rights, left, and spinning heel kicks. Ahmed back-bumps off a chop, which shows you that he's ready to work tonight. This is getting the full recap treatment, as it's has some time behind it and it's the main event. Ahmed comes back with an atomic drop, and they dump to the outside after an Ahmed clothesline puts them over the top rope.   Commercial break.   We're back, and Ahmed's in the midst of delivering a delayed vertical suplex. Ahmed goes up to the top and somersaults onto Savio Vega, certainly "Holy Shit" worthy if you ask me, but the crowd makes no noise. Goodness. Afterward, he misses an elbow drop, so Savio regains control with a superkick. Savio goes to the sleeper and they rest, FF 25 seconds and Ahmed starts a comeback. Uranage (which becomes Rock Bottom) by Ahmed, then a shitty spinebuster and the Nation's on their way down to the ring. Ahmed goes for the Pearl River Plunge, instead of Savio taking it, Crush pulls him out and that's DQ worthy at 6:09, cut. Ahmed Johnson gets the victory. Ahmed grabs his 2x4 and the Nation backs off. Ahmed then challenges the Nation to a "if I beat one of you, you leave the WW[bleep] forever," match. The Nation no-sells his proposal, and then walks to the back. The match was *1/2, Johnson wanted to work tonight and did his best. His best ain't that good, but whatever.   ___________________   Paul Bearer's standing by backstage as the show returns from commercial break, and he wants to talk with someone, but he doesn't say who that is in particular. The Undertaker comes to the ring with the Championship he won the night before at Wrestlemania 13, and cuts a terrible promo. He's not good with the long interview format, but he says one good thing that stands out. The WWF is in for dark days. Yeah, no shit. They were in for dark days long before you got the belt, and they will be for your whole title reign. I like UT, but he's not saying anything the smark community doesn't know 10 years later. Which is why I found it interesting. Uncle Paul comes to the ring and Mankind appears on the Titantron. Mankind needs Paul and this show comes to an abrupt end. No forewarning, just the copyrights and that's it. Weird. I think they ran over the alloted time and couldn't get an overrun, so the show came to an abrupt halt as they were about to get to the meat of the promo.   ___________________   I'm not entirely interested in RAW, as the WWF is clearly the worse of the two big federations at this time. I usually enjoy Nitro the most. This certainly dragged, but the Bret promo was strong once Shawn came out, and RAW started strong with the opener for the Tag Team Titles. The last match was passable, but the crowd's lack of enthusiasm for everything besides the opening fireworks was terrible. I have no idea why Rocky had a title at this time. He's useless. I know what they're setting things up for, but getting there wasn't exactly setting the world on fire.     Rating: Decent.   I'm going to review Nitro tomorrow, and comments are most definitely welcome. I already watched it and took notes, but I won't spill the beans, no I won't.
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Review: WWF Monday Night RAW from Detroit, Michigan, 3/11/02.

Yeah, RAW, from Detroit. ___________________   Gene Okerlund introduces the show, much like he has been with all the WrestleMania related programming. The first match on the card is the Dudley Boys and William Regal vs. the Hardy Boys and Rob Van Dam.   - RVD started things off with a pescado onto Regal, which was great. The dudleys go for a table during the match, but it gets kicked into D-Von's face. That's also great.   - There's a shmoz, and after multiple finishers, it ends with the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH onto William Regal, getting the pinfall at 4:01. **. Good way to start things off. ___________________   You see, there's an emergency board meeting right now. Thanks to Ric Flair, this company is in a state of emergency. Vince McMahon wants the board to choose what direction the company will head in. I always hate these board meetings. Just a big waste of time is all they are.   Kurt Angle has a microphone in the ring, and he wants to talk about crime, cause this is Detroit, and all. He says that he was robbed of a WrestleMania title shot a few weeks ago, and turns to Kane. He knows that Kane is the Big Red Machine, but he says that Kurt Angle is the Big Red White and Blue Machine. I LOL'd. He's facing Kane at WrestleMania, calls the fans stupid...which brings out Booker T. Booker T says that Kurt Angle's pissing him off, so the fans cheer. Then he says, that these people are BEYOND stupid. It's all their fault he doesn't have the Japanese shampoo endorsement, which of course, brings out Edge. Edge wants to face Booker T at WrestleMania, and then the conversation turns into how white Kurt Angle is. Kurt Angle says he has soul, and does a spinaroonie. Then they challenge Edge and a partner of his choice.   Stephanie McMahon has HHH's dog, she hates it, has a court order which says she owns it, yadayadayada ___________________   The second match on the show is Rikishi vs. Test.   - Oh no. Sounds terrible. On Heat, Test helped Mr. Perfect beat Rikishi. So we have this.   - Mr. Perfect tried to interfere, even though it was thwarted, Test still pinned Rikishi after the big boot at 1:57. 1/4*. Not good at all. ___________________   Chris Jericho hates dogs, you see. The dog shits on the floor, and Stephanie makes he and the dog leave. He ties the dog to a door handle on a limo, and leaves. I can't believe they made him into Stephanie's bitch. Oh wait, I do believe it, I just didn't like it.   DDP's trying to help Christian, but they encounter Billy and Chuck. Christian wants to face Billy tonight. He believes that he'll be able to end his losing streak. That's not a bad thing, that's A GOOD THING.   Vince McMahon shows the board of directors a clip in which Flair accidentally punched a fan and was arrested. Big whoop. ___________________   Al Snow is facing Goldust for the Hardcore Title now...   - I love Goldust's gold weapons. Funny stuff. Al Snow wins the title after a SNOWPLOW onto a trash can, at 1:03. *. ___________________   Chris Jericho jumped in the limo cause he wanted to go buy something, and the driver ran over the dog. Poor dog. HHH is pretty pissed off. ___________________   We have that little tag team match, which is Kurt Angle and Booker T vs. Edge and...THE BIG SHOW.   - Hoo-rah for mystery partners.   - Go to the end, ANGLE SLAM on Show, ANKLE LOCK on Show, and he taps out at 4:38. *1/2. ___________________   At WWF New York, Jacqueline, Torrie Wilson and Terri are there, parading around in bikinis. Yeah. ___________________   Billy w/Chuck is taking on Christian w/DDP...   - DDP goes on commentary for a bit. Nothing wrong with that, although there's defnitely something wrong with Christian's temper tantrums. I've seen enough shitty booking and ideas on this show to last a lifetime.   - As the referee was distracted, DDP snuck in and gave Christian a DIAMOND CUTTER. So, that helped Christian to break his losing streak after the pinfall at 2:08. 1/2*.   After the bout, Christian gives DDP a reverse DDT. Seeing as DDP's the European Champion, obviously Christian wants a title shot. ___________________   Back to the board of directors, Vince wants a vote of confidence in him. Whatever. ___________________   Lita and Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler and Jazz is the next match...   - On Smackdown, Jazz attacked Lita during her match with Stacy Keibler. Plus, Jazz, Lita and Trish will be facing each other at WrestleMania, so this is self-explanatory.   - There's a brawl, Trish kicks Lita on accident, and Jazz pins her at 2:24. DUD. Boy oh boy, this show sucks a fat one. ___________________   Stephanie McMahon is on her way to the ring, and she says that it wasn't her fault what happened to HHH's dog. HHH comes down, chases her and tosses her into the ring...and before the PEDIGREE, Jericho hits him in the knee with the SLEDGEHAMMER. OMG. "I think I tore my quad." During the commercial break, Jericho chopblocked HHH while he was being helped to the back. What a dastardly human being. HHH does the whole stretcher job, and we go back to the...   Board meeting. Vince gets full authority now, but they can review this decision after WrestleMania. Flair cuts a good, calm promo about how he's going to get revenge on the Undertaker, at ANY COST. ___________________   The NWO is in the back, and see, they can't wait until WrestleMania. But right now, they're going to face Steve Austin and the Rock in a handicap match.   - Personally, I cannot believe this match was on television. On television the week before a PPV, no less.   - The black and white effect during the NWO entrance is fantastic. In the late 90's-2000, any of these matchups (example...Austin/Nash, Hall/Rock) would've been big money drawing matches. I wouldn't have had Rock and Hogan interact at all during this match. Just my opinion.   - The match is ridiculously formula, and it finishes when Hogan DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG on Rock at 9:13. Austin attacked Hogan post-match, but Hall and Nash beat he and the Rock down. *1/4 for the whole thing...where's the spraypaint? End show. ___________________   Rating: Bad. Really bad. This was one of the worst RAW's I've watched in a long time. If not for the novelty of the main event, I'd have called it terrible.   Best Segment: Opening 6-man tag.   Worst: Take your pick. ___________________   WrestleMania X8 review will be up next, but there's no rush. Unless WrestleMania VIII gets posted on Tuesday, WM X8 is the only thing I have to review for a week and a half.
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Review: WWF King of the Ring 1994, 6/16/1994; from Baltimore, Maryland.

It took me a while to watch this, but I finally did. I had to make time. ___________________   After our National Anthem and introduction of our commentary team (including Art Donovan!), we have Razor Ramon taking on Bam Bam Bigelow in a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Bout.   - Nearly forgot, Bam Bam's accompanied by his MAIN SQUEEZE, Luna Vachon. Like the matchup.   - Razor toothpicked Luna, which allowed Bam Bam to attack. Back and forth stuff, until a Bam Bam resthold, which is a TORTURE RACK. Seriously. Bam Bam goes to the top after some nice moves, but Razor schoolboy's him from the top rope for the victory at 8:25.   Crowd's happy, but the match was nothing special at all. While I liked the matchup, the match itself wasn't so good in execution. Glad we didn't see more from these two, and if we did on television, I haven't seen it. *3/4. ___________________   Todd Pettingill is with Mabel and IRS, and Irwin cuts a bad promo. He does that quite a bit. Mabel's, however, is okay. ___________________ IRS vs. Mabel w/Oscar is obviously our next Quarterfinal Match.   - Oscar raps. That's about it. IRS walks out with no music, and talks about the tax cheats that are populating our crowd tonight.   - I hate Mabel, btw. I hate Art Donovan too. That said, this match could be much worse. Mabel goes up to the second rope, but IRS shakes the ropes, knocking him down. IRS pins Mabel, for the victory at 5:39.   While saying it could be much worse, it's still bad. Bad enough to slap a 1/2* on it and do my best to forget the whole thing. THE WHOLE THING. ___________________   While Stan Lane does an interview with Lex Luger, we watch the video that led to Lex Luger not being able to make the King of the Ring proceedings tonight, as he lost to Jeff Jarrett. Crush attacked. ___________________   Tatanka is facing Owen Hart in our third King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match...   - All that pink. Nice to see Owen. My cousin thinks that Tatanka will win, btw.   - Razor and IRS were fighting in the back, as Owen and Tatanka went to a chinlock. Good timing! Tatanka tries a sunset flip during his comeback, but Owen sits on him for the three count at 8:20.   Quite good. Better than I remembered as well. Tatanka's no **** guy, but he could work back in the day. Which was good, I mean, with that gimmick and all. **3/4. ___________________   Todd Pettingill is with Shawn Michaels and Diesel, interviewing them before Diesel's big match later on. We flashback to their attack on Bret Hart during RAW a few weeks ago, as well. ___________________   In our last King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match, we have Jeff Jarrett vs. The 1-2-3 Kid.   - Jarrett's ring attire is always really homosexual. The way Art Donovan asks about everyone is super annoying. Is it too much to ask that the guest commentator be educated about the product?   - Jarrett gives Kid a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX...awesome. If I was a wrestler, some variation of that would be my finisher. Kid pushed Jarrett off the top and crossbodied him for two, I haven't watched this in a while, but I was sure it was over. Jarrett tries a FIGURE-FOUR, but Kid cradles him for the win at 4:39. Jarrett attacks after the match...ONE PILEDRIVER. TWO PILEDRIVER. THREE PILEDRIVER. I believe the 1-2-3 Kid has died.   **1/2, post-match attack included. How could anyone not like that beatdown. I'll reference this beatdown later. ___________________   A video for the New Generation shows up (also to be referenced later), and then, Bret Hart cuts a promo. Obviously, for the next match. ___________________   Champion vs. Champion, Diesel (Intercontinental Champion) w/Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart w/Jim Neidhart for the World Wrestling Federation Championship.   - Bret's new theme debuts. Description of this match and others in the future that I find to be needing it will be more detailed. We'll see if Diesel carries his share of the load. After Diesel missed a charge and his knee rammed into the ringpost, Bret went to work. Really went to work. Shawn clotheslines Bret with the referees back turned, ending that. So Neidhart gives chase, but he can't catch Shawn.   - Diesel botches a bearhug, and winds up in Bret's guard on the canvas. OOPS, wrong form of entertainment. Bret misses a pescado, as the ten minute mark passes...   - Constant double teams on Bret follow, and with the referee distracted, Shawn loosens a turnbuckle pad. I suppose Diesel has carried his share of the load. Bret rams Diesel into the exposed turnbuckle, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER. Shawn's going nuts on the outside, and when Diesel gets out of the hold, he can't even do an Irish whip. That blown up. Bret gives Diesel a ROLLING BOSTON CRAB when Diesel stands over him, but Diesel makes the ropes. Diesel hits Neidhart and Shawn clocks Bret with a title belt, then Diesel elbowdrops Bret, for two. Neidhart runs in, and clotheslines Diesel after a JACKKNIFE on Bret, leading to a DQ win for Diesel at 22:51. Then Neidhart leaves, and Shawn piledrives Bret, leading to officials making their entry and forcing the heels to the back.   Epic carryjob from Bret here. No doubt Nash's best match to that point. ***1/2, even though he was blown up near the end. ___________________   After Pettingill interviews Jerry Lawler, we have Razor Ramon vs. IRS in our first King of the Ring Semifinal Match.   - IRS cuts an awful promo, one the likes of which cannot even be repeated in seriousness. Geez, keep the guy away from the mic. One good thing about this, it's the end of Razor and IRS' little vendetta. Razor dominates a boring contest, and finishes with THE EDGE at 5:13.   *. Not bery fun. ___________________ Todd Pettingill was supposed to interview the 1-2-3 Kid, but he didn't show up for the interview. HOWEVER, he made it to the ring for his King of the Ring Semifinal Match against Owen Hart.   - Owen gave Kid a baseball slide to start, which hurt Kid's neck even more. Then both guys go to war. Could you imagine if this match had gone, say, 12-15 minutes? Owen powerbombs Kid on a Kid rana attempt, and Owen locks in the SHARPSHOOTER. Kid gives at 3:38.   Wow, what a short little match. *** easy. Felt like WCW Nitro with the bumps and overall shortness. ___________________   Stan Lane and Ted DiBiase are talking during a 900 line thing, then we have Yokozuna and Crush w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette vs. The Headshrinkers w/Captain Lou Albano and Afa for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   - Fatworld. Would it have been so hard to have the Steiners hold the belts longer or more often? Seriously, after the Bret/Owen breakup, have the Quebecers drop the belts. Not some bullshit with Men on a Mission. Not interested in this match, but I like this version of Crush much better. He's a tough dude.   - Lex Luger ran down and distracted Crush, but it didn't lead to a Headshrinker victory. Close though. Fatu superkicks Crush, and that does get the win at 9:34. Luger and Crush fight, and the Headshrinkers come in to help Luger get the best of it. Yay!   Who cares, really, just a throwaway matchup involving a makeshift team and a pile of shit team. *1/2. Meaningless. ___________________   Todd Pettingill interviews Owen Hart before his match with Razor Ramon, in the King of the Ring Final. Nothing important was said.   - I like Razor's back suplex off the top. Owen backdrops him out on a RAZOR'S EDGE attempt, and the Anvil comes down to clothesline Razor. Uh...   - Owen comes off the top with a big elbowdrop, getting the pinfall win at 6:36.   Sizeable babyface reaction, not that I blame anyone. Owen was always very likeable, even during this phase. **1/4. ___________________   While they're putting the boots to Razor, Raymond Rougeau is with Bret Hart, who doesn't really care about Owen's King of the Ring victory.   Coronation. Owen makes Todd Pettingill get on his knees, and then proclaims himself to be the KING OF HARTS! ___________________   Finally, our main event, which exemplifies our NEW GENERATION. Jerry Lawler vs. Roddy Piper.   - Lawler talked trash, before Piper's bagpipe entrance. Lawler humiliated some kid on RAW, and Piper brings the kid with him to the ring. Piper came to kick ass, he says.   - This isn't as bad as I thought it would be. When I watched this show the first time around, I used my fast-forward button. A piledriver occurs, which has lost its impact after the four times it's been used earlier. Lawler has brass knuckles, hits Piper, as the referee is out. The kid keeps Lawler from getting the win, and Piper back suplexes Lawler for the win at 12:16.   Thank God that's over. A DUD for sure. Of course, I'm trying to be nice. That match was awful. ___________________   Rating: Poor. A very poor outing from the WWF. Owen winning KotR is choice. The rest, blah.   Best Segment: Bret vs. Diesel. Strange with the Anvil and all.   Worst: Lawler vs. Piper. Duh. ___________________   I'll review RAW and Nitro sometime soon.  
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Review: WWF King of the Ring 1993, from Dayton, Ohio; 6/13/1993.

Here we go, the first King of the Ring on PPV! ___________________   Ross, Savage, and Heenan on commentary. And we jump right to...Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart in a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match.   - This is also a rematch from the Royal Rumble, in case you forgot. Both guys are O-V-E-R. There's a big 1-2-3 chant in reference to Razor's loss to the Kid a few weeks ago. I haven't seen that in a while.   - Razor clotheslines Bret, sets him up on top for a back suplex, but Bret lands on top, picking up the pinfall victory at 10:27. So, Bret advances to the semifinals, to face the winner of our next bout. Also, I must mention that Razor stomped on Bret's fingers at some point in the match.   -When Razor wants to work, he can. I thought that Bret's cradle after slipping out of the Edge would be the victory, but it wasn't. Always nice to be surprised. Anyhow, I've got no problem slapping a ***1/4 rating on this. Wrestling was good, crowd loved it, and I did too. All that needs to happen, did. ___________________   We look to Superstars, when Giant Gonzalez and the Undertaker were fighting. Then Mr. Hughes came in, and hit the Undertaker with his own urn. Hughes stole it, too. ___________________   Quite obviously, that means Mr. Hughes w/Harvey Wippleman is going to face Mr. Perfect in a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match.   - Anyone who wrestles while wearing sunglasses is fine by me. We go to a split-screen in which Bret Hart says that he'd rather face Mr. Perfect than Mr. Hughes. Ok. Hughes botches a Perfect crossbody attempt, so he and Perfect dosey-do down to the canvas. That was funny.   - Hughes grabs the stolen urn, and hits Perfect with it for the DQ loss at 6:01. Ugh. Dumb finish. Especially made dumb by Hughes not ever facing Taker in a big television or PPV match, but hey, what can you do? I also don't understand why Hughes didn't make the jump back to WCW when he left the WWF...Oh yeah, the rating. 3/4*. The botched crossbody was super funny. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna...Fuji says that Hogan cheated to win the belt. I don't disagree. Then Yoko says some stuff about America, and we're done. ___________________   Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan is our next Quarterfinal Match...   - Hooooo!!! Lock-up, and Bigelow's shoulderblock does nothing.   - Duggan's three point stance shoulder-tackle misses, hitting the buckle, so Bigelow's up top, diving headbutt, pinfall win for the Beast from the East at 4:59. Average. Made better by Duggan losing cleanly...that's really all there is to say. *1/4. ___________________   Lex Luger vs. Tatanka is our final King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match.   - That was a really fast transitition to this match. Had to have been edited. Anyhow, about Luger, I can't believe Vince couldn't make him a success. The referee makes Luger wear an elbowpad, so he can't use the LOADED FOREARM.   - Heenan begins to ramble about Tatanka..."Many moon come before I win match." I really laughed, just because. We cut to a split-screen with Bam Bam Bigelow. He wants to face the Indian.   -Tatanka misses a chop off the top, so Luger gives him a clothesline and powerslam for two. Luger follows with a suplex, that gets two. A backbreaker gets two, and we have a DRAW at 14:58. 15 minute time-limit, remember? After the match, Luger asks for five more minutes, to a big pop. Tatanka turns around to leave, and gets hit with the LOADED FOREARM. To another ovation. Well, no wonder he made the turn. Bam Bam gets a bye to the final.   - Pretty good show these two put on, IMO. Could've been worse, given what was in there, but I thought Luger did well. You could see the positives from having good matches with others. I'm going to call this **1/4. I might be all alone with that rating. ___________________   Mean Gene stirs up shit with Bret Hart and Mr. Perfect, who are facing each other in the Semifinal Round of the King of the Ring. Gene asked whose dad was better and that sort of thing. Good stuff.   - Perfect acts like he'll let Bret back in, but he kicks him. Heh. Now, you know who's going to play heel. Perfect launches Bret from the apron into the steel guardrail, so now Bret's knee is hurt, in addition to a few fingers that were taped up at the beginning of the match.   - We go to the SHARPSHOOTER, but Perfect grabs Bret's injured fingers and stomps on them. Oh hell no, you monster. He tries a PERFECT-PLEX, but Bret suplexes him down ot the floor. Fantastic match. Perfect cradles Bret for two back on the inside, but Bret reverses for the pinfall, advancing to the King of the Ring Final and a match with Bam Bam Bigelow at 18:56.   - Much like Scott Keith, I think this was better than their meeting at SummerSlam 1991. Shocking! Particularly liked how the broken fingers came into play. That was choice. ****1/2. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Hulk Hogan, who is defending his WWF Championship against Yokozuna, right now!   - Who doesn't like Jimmy Hart, now, seriously? The placement of this match on the card definitely gives away the result. A Yoko belly-to-belly gets two, so we have a HULK-UP. Yawn. Hogan finally puts Yoko down after THREE big boots, but the LEGDROP only gets a two count. Now a photographer gets on the apron, shoots a fireball at Hogan, and Yoko drops a leg of his own for the victory at 13:11. BANZAI DROP afterward, and it's over for Hogan. ALL OVER.   - Uh, awfully boring. Historic, but really bad. If Yokozuna has to carry a match, well, it's going to be shit. I like him because he was on the first PPV I ever watched, but seriously now. 1/2*. I did like Yoko's title reign, though. It was good stuff (for a fat lug), especially the shit with Crush. ___________________   Shawn and Diesel are in the back, and Shawn is just TEARING INTO Hulk Hogan. I'm going to guess this was a contingency plan in case Hulk stayed. Hulk feuds with Diesel to get to Shawn. LOL. Like I said, a guess. Shawn called Hogan a dinosaur, which was good for a laugh. ___________________   Next up, an eight-man tag. We've got the Steiner Brothers and The Smokin' Gunns vs. Money Inc. and the Headshrinkers w/Afa.   - Non-elimination, btw. DiBiase's looking a little pudgy.   - MILLION DOLLAR DREAM...but Billy puts DiBiase in a small package for the victory at 7:03. After the match, they brawl, and the faces get the best.   - Rick Steiner didn't even enter. That was weird. Anyway, just a simple, throwaway match to try and bring the fans back. We'll see how that last part worked out later on. **. ___________________   Crush is facing Shawn Michaels w/Diesel for the Intercontinental Title, after Yokozuna had an interview in the back.   - This is a strange match. IMO, Crush came around about three years later than he should have. Perfect gimmick for the 80's. Savage talks about potential for Crush/Yoko...   - Crush dominates the match, until he clotheslines Shawn over the top. Doink is at the ramp...I SEE THREE OF THEM. WHAT THE FUCK. Actually, it's two. They distracted Crush somethin' good, so Shawn superkicked the big Hawaiian in the back of the head for the victory at 11:14. Crush chases the Doink's to the back, of course. **1/4 is my rating. Shawn did all the work, but Crush held up his end of the bargain. This could've been brutal. ___________________ Mean Gene talks to Bam Bam Bigelow before he faces Bret Hart in the King of the Ring Final...   - Bret favors the leg on the way down. And gets dominated throughout. Luna Vachon came down and hit Bret with a chair, stacking the odds further. Bret comes in afterward, gets slammed and given the flying headbutt off the top for three at 9:23. NO, WAIT A SECOND. Another referee comes out, and says no. No, because of Luna. Some people are leaving, but the match will restart. And everyone runs back to their seats.   - Bret and Bam Bam proceed to tear the house down, ya heard. Bam Bam misses a charge to the corner, and Bret gives him a victory roll for a three count and huge pop at 18:17. Great match, highly underrated. ****. Savage congratulates, as...   Bret moves to the stage, to be crowned king! Jerry Lawler comes to the stage, and says that he's the only king in the World Wrestling Federation. Bret needs to bow and kiss Lawler's feet, he says. Bret calls him the Burger King, which births a chant that I abhor to this day. As thanks for said chant, Lawler takes Bret out with a scepter. Then Lawler tosses the throne onto Bret, and beats the shit out of him. He kicks Bret off the platform, and we're out of time. That was an intense angle. I loved it, as is the case with many end of show PPV angles. ___________________   Rating: Great. Bret's one man show. Must see. All that stuff.   Best Segment: I've gotta give the angle with Lawler and Bret its due. The crowd was really, really hating Lawler. On one hand, the show was almost all in favor of heels. That's something for the live fans to not like.   Worst Segment: Hughes vs. Perfect. For meaninglessness. ___________________   I'll review King of the Ring 1994, just like I did this one. My brother graduates tomorrow, so I won't watch it until later in the week.
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Review: WWF In Your House: Mind Games, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; 9/22/1996.

There is, really, one thing to see here. And we all know what it is...it's JERRY LAWLER VS. MARK HENRY! ___________________   Ok, not really. So, Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Mr. Perfect are on commentary. ___________________ The first match here is Justin Hawk Bradshaw w/Uncle Zebekiah vs. Savio Vega in a CARIBBEAN Strap Match. Yeah, funny how they posted two of those in one update.   Blow-by-Blow: Why is Harvey Wippleman a referee? Anyway, after Vega cuts a promo in the back, Bradshaw whips Vega with the strap a BUNCH of times, before Vega can finally get hooked up to it. Anyway, there's some ECW guys in the crowd...this guy with blonde hair and a beer can spits at Savio Vega, why, whoever could that be? Some guy with a hat is holding him and this other dude back, before they get ordered to the back. BTW, other dude, was wearing a short that he usually wears when I see him wrestle. But I can't remember his damn name! Vega gives Bradshaw a back suplex after some buckle touching, then he lashes Bradshaw's back with the strap. Vega touches three turnbuckles...but Bradshaw pulls him down to the canvas, then gives Vega a big boot. Bradshaw follows it up with a lariat, and drags Vega across the ring to each turnbuckle. Vega's touching all of them right behind Bradshaw, and hey, Bradshaw accidentally pulls Vega into the fourth buckle, just like how Austin did so at Beware of Dog 2. Vega wins at 7:07 via corner touching. Match Analysis: Nowhere near as good as the Vega/Austin match, but respectable enough, I suppose. Match is *3/4, just because I'm in a good mood. Now, I've gotta wonder...what's up with them posting a two shows, each of which contain a strap match. Coincidence? ___________________   Anyway, Jim Cornette taunted Jose Lothario for a few weeks, so now, they're going to face each other.   Blow-by-Blow: In the lockerroom before this match, Diesel and Razor Ramon attacked Savio Vega. WHAT THE FUCK OMG THEY'RE BACK IN TEH WWFWii! Really though, of course that's not the real Diesel and the real Razor Ramon. Anyway, they should've posted this event next month, given that Lothario is a LATINO LEGEND. Lothario punches Cornette, rams him into the buckle, and covers him after a left uppercut for the win at 0:56. Match Analysis: Negative stars just for making a mockery of wrestling. How many, though. Let's see here...one for each participant. -**. I love Cornette, but this idea, oh boy, it sucks. Please, no more of this, ever. ___________________   We go to a split-screen ad for the SUPERSTAR HOTLINE. On one side, we have Marc Mero and Sable. On the other, we have Faarooq Asad and Sunny. Guess what, these two are going to face each other in the Finals of the Intercontinental Title Tournament, on RAW. ___________________   Here comes Brian Pillman to the ring...hell yes. He's a loose cannon, you see. Before this segment, we saw a video in which Bret Hart called Pillman and Owen Hart liars. Well, now Pillman calls Owen Hart out here, to talk. Owen's the best, you see. Now Steve Austin comes out...to music that sounds a lot like that of Chris Masters. Austin says that Bret Hart is a chicken, because Bret was supposed to be there, and well, he isn't. I'm sure that's where the "liars" comment comes from, Owen and Pillman probably talked the Hart appearance up. Austin wants you to put an 's' in front of Hitman, cause that's what he thinks about Bret. Now that's uncalled for. All done.   Good segment, too. ___________________   We see a Mark Henry video of him touring Philadelphia...then a video of Psycho Sid doing a chat on America Online. He's too good to do the typing himself. ___________________ Next up, we have Owen Hart and the British Bulldog squaring off against The Smokin' Gunns w/Sunny for the WWF Tag Team Championships.   Blow-by-Blow: For some reason, a poster comes down out of the rafters, and the commentators sell it as being ruined by Bulldog and Owen. Ok. Anyhow, Clarence Mason comes to the ring, which distracts Owen enough to be rolled up from behind by Billy Gunn, although it only gets a 2 count. Owen does his arm-wringer reversal sequence, but Billy takes him down with a shoulderblock. Owen quickly respnds with a hiptoss and an armdrag, before giving Billy a crossbody for 2. Owen cradles Billy for 2, but Bart comes in and slams Owen to the canvas. He misses an elbowdrop, which allows Bulldog to tag in, only to be shoulderblocked. Bulldog rolls Bart up for 2, then gives him a dropkick and an armdrag. Owen tags in and chopblocks Bart (good move right there), then begins to go to work on the leg. He applies an INDIAN DEATHLOCK, then goes right to a BOSTON CRAB, but Bart grabs the ropes. Bulldog tags in and delivers with a delayed vertical suplex (Owen and Bulldog are pretty over as babyfaces, I should add. But it's Philly.), and then a legdrop which gets a 2 count. Owen continues the assualt with a leg snap, then he goes all 1980's on us with a spinning toehold. Bart eventually cradles Owen for 2, but Owen comes right back with an enziguri, not allowing Bart to gain any momentum. Billy suckers Bulldog over to the corner so that Bart can give him a clothesline, and he tags into the match. He rams Bulldog into the steps, then Bart comes right back in, but only for a second. Billy comes in with a poetry in clothesline (you like that), before tagging Bart back into the match. They give Bulldog the SIDEWINDER (a kickass move if you haven't seen it), but the referee gets distracted by Clarence Mason. Owen hits Billy in the head, and Bulldog covers him for...a 2 count. That was close. Bart tags in and gives Bulldog a bodyslam, before tagging Billy right back into the action. Billy goes to the chinlock...but that doesn't last long at all, as Bart comes in. He tries to give Bulldog a taste of his own medicine (meaning Bulldog's finisher), but Bulldog slips off Bart's shoulder and pushes Bart into an unsuspecting Billy. That allows Bulldog to give Bart the RUNNING POWERSLAM, for the pinfall victory at 11:00. The crowd goes nuts, and we have new champs! After the match, Sunny calls the Gunns wannabe cowboys. So she quits. Figures.   Match Analysis: First things first, the reason that Clarence Mason came to the ring was because he stole Owen and Bulldog's contracts out from under Jim Cornette. I suppose that makes sense. As for the match itself, it was quite good, well, as good a match as you'd expect. Which is average, btw. I enjoyed it, but I call it right down the middle. **1/2. ___________________   Kevin Kelly is with Mankind and Paul Bearer...Shawn has not yet felt the sort of pain that Mankind is about to inflict upon him. ___________________ Jerry Lawler is taking on Mark Henry...   Blow-by-Blow: Mark Henry is wearing something...I can't even say exactly what it is. Something Madusa would wear. Anyway, Lawler says that Henry can't get out of a headlock, so Lawler gives him one. Of course, Henry gets out of it, and reverses to a hammerlock to boot. This guy has SKILLZ! Now, Henry applies a headlock, and Lawler reverses out to a hammerlock. Henry reverses that into a hammerlock of his own, then he tosses Lawler into the turnbuckle. Lawler tries a bodyslam, but he can't pick Henry up, so Henry gives Lawler a gorilla press slam, nearly killing Lawler in the process. Lawler can't shoulderblock Henry, so Henry tosses Lawler out and into the guardrail. Lawler distracts the referee on his way in so he can grab a fist pack out of his tights, then he hits Henry with it. That doesn't do anything, so Henry gives Lawler an ARGENTINE BACKBREAKER for the submission at 5:09. Boo. Anyway, AL SNOW runs in to attack Henry, but Henry tosses him out of the ring. The same thing happens to Marty Jannetty, and lastly, Hunter Hearst Helmsley runs in and gets gorilla pressed to the outside, landing on both of the New Rockers. Yeesh, they really did punish Helmsley. Match Analysis: S-Q-U-A-S-H. Not a very good one either. Thank goodness the WWF saw the light and decided not to unleash this manbeast upon us all until the following year. Oh, the rating. 1/2*. Lawler's always good for a laugh. ___________________   Next match and the beginning of part 2 of this program (as seen on WWE 24/7) is The Undertaker vs. Goldust w/Marlena in a Final Curtain Match. That means, there must be a winner by pinfall, and there are no disqualifications. Simple, eh?   Blow-by-blow: Before this match starts, we see an ad for next month's PPV, In Your House: Buried Alive. At that show, Mankind is going to face the Undertaker in a Buried Alive Match. It'll be non-sanctioned, and in case Mankind wins the WWF Title, the non-sanction means that the title wouldn't be on the line, in any case. So, now for the match. Taker rams Goldust right into the buckle, then gives him a choketoss. Quick start for the PHENOM. Taker gives Goldust a legdrop for 2, but Goldust responds with a swinging neckbreaker after bailing to the outside. Taker gives Goldust a big boot and a suplex as if to say, "that shit don't hurt me," but the cover only gets 2. OLD SCHOOL TIME, and then Taker tosses Goldust over the top and to the floor. Goldust grabs some...gold dust, and flings it in the eyes of Taker. He now chokes Taker, before ramming him into the announce table. Back in, and Goldust gives Taker a clothesline for 2. Goldust chokes Taker with his boot, then applies a headlock, which Taker back suplexes out of. Goldust gives Taker a hiptoss for 2, in an attempt to disallow Taker from gaining control of the matchup. Goldust whips Taker into the buckle, but Taker comes out fiercely with some punches and a chokehold. A Goldust powerslam only gets 2, so Taker fires off the ropes with a clothesline. Taker misses a charge, and Goldust goes to the top, only to be chokeslammed from all the way up there. TOMBSTONE CITY, and Taker wins at 10:18. That feud is OVAAAH. Match Analysis: If most of the matches were like this one, THANK GOD it is. Match wasn't very good at all, but hey, it ended without interference. That was a surprise, and we'll give this one *1/2. Of course, both would move on to bigger things. Don't know if I can say that Goldust moved on to a higher profile feud...he kinda didn't. If these matches had been better, well, who knows. ___________________   Kevin Kelly interviews Shawn Michaels...who is a bit nervous about this title defense, to put it that way.   Yeah, Mankind w/Paul Bearer is facing Shawn Michaels w/Jose Lothario for the WWF Championship.   Blow-by-Blow: Mankind comes down to the ring inside of a casket during his entrance...of course, I love that. Both lock-up to start, and Mankind gives Shawn a quick back elbow. He then backdrops Shawn, and gives him a CACTUS CLOTHESLINE, which of course sends both men down to the floor. Mankind kicks Shawn into the guardrail, before peeling off the padding at ringside, which exposes the concrete floor. Shawn dropkicks the padding onto Mankind, then he stomps on Mankind, who has the padding on top of him. Funny. Anyway, he gives Mankind a crossbody from the 2nd turnbuckle, then Shawn jumps off the apron and rams Mankind's head into the floor. Back in, and Shawn comes off the top with a double axhandle. A clothesline follows, and so does a bodyslam and a FLYING ELBOW from up top. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, so Mankind dives out of the ring, to avoid SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Mankind takes Shawn down to the canvas back inside the ring, so they brawl. He goes for the MANDIBLE CLAW, but nope, he can't get it. Instead, he gives Shawn a clothesline, then tosses Shawn out of the ring. Mankind pulls a table over, but Shawn flies over the table and jumps on top of Mick. Shawn suplexes Mankind into the steel steps, and back on the inside, he gives Mankind a chopblock. Shawn then rams Mankind's left knee into the casket, before giving him a dragon screw. To the FIGURE-FOUR we go, and once Mankind makes the ropes, Shawn gets up and dropkicks him in the knee. Shawn applies a half-crab now, but Mankind makes it to the ropes again. Shawn follows it up with a sunset flip, but that only gets a 2 count. Mankind gives Shawn a hotshot in an attempt to regain control...and now, Mankind stabs himself in the knee with a pen, to regain feeling in his knee. Mankind rams Shawn into the casket, then puts him in the corner, for the running knee to head. Mankind then slams Shawn's head into the canvas, but Shawn replies with a back suplex. Mankind shoots HBK into the corner, so HBK goes upside down and into tree of woe position. Mankind notices this situation, and gives him two elbowdrops, as he generally would. A big boot puts Shawn out of the ring, but Mankind accidentally knees the steps, after missing a charge. That shit must hurt. Shawn then drop-toe holds Mankind face-first into the steps, before trying to suplex him back into the ring. He can't, though, so Mankind suplexes Shawn onto the ring apron. Mankind tries to charge into Shawn, but he misses, and hits the ringpost. So...Shawn gives Mankind a flying back elbow inside the ring, and a powerslam to boot, for a 2 count. Shawn tosses Mankind into the ropes, and Mick does the thing where he hangs by his neck. Awesome. He applies the MANDIBLE CLAW(!) while tied in the ropes, then slips out of the ropes, thanks to the official. On the outside, Shawn rams Mick into the guardrail, and gets a chair, which Mick punches on accident. Shawn hits Mankind on the knee with the chair, and then right on the hand, before going crazy on the hand work. Inside of course, Shawn stomps all over Mick's hand, but Mankind responds with a backdrop, sending Shawn over the top and to the floor. Mankind elbowdrops Shawn from the apron, and does the thing where he runs from the ring, slides under the bottom rope, and gives his opponent a swinging neckbreaker. Yeah, that's great. A DOUBLE-ARM DDT is delivered to Shawn, but it only gets a 2 couont. A Mankind piledriver also gets 2, which incenses the big lug. He tosses two chairs into the ring now, and opens up the casket. Shawn absolutely will not get pushed in there though, and he comes back with the flying forearm/kip-up combo. Crowd goes nut, but a crossbody from the top only gets a 2 count. Up top Shawn goes, but Mankind crotches him, and sets him up for a big move. A back suplex to be exact, but Shawn reverses it to a crossbody and both FLY THROUGH A TABLE. Yo. After a bit, Mankind gets on the top rope with a chair, but Shawn sets up the other chair and launches into Mankind with SWEET CHIN MUSIC! The cover only gets a 2 count though, which brings Vader down to the ring, for the disqualification at 26:25. Mankind hits Shawn in the head with the URN, and here's SID! He brawls to the back with Vader, and now, Mankind wants to put Shawn in the casket. Paul Bearer opens it, and...there's THE UNDERTAKER. Taker tosses Mankind out and chases him to the back, which ends the show.   Match Analysis: Wow. Just, wow. I can't give it ***** because of the non-finish, but had there been a finish, I definitely would've given it full marks. We'll go with ****3/4, and this is probably the best, I don't know, non-thumbtack and fly through cell match of Foley's career, that I've seen. Keywords: That I've seen. I wish Foley would've won, although his title win two years later wouldn't have happened, and if it didn't, we don't have that great moment. So I guess I'm glad that he didn't win the title. ___________________ Rating: At best, it's a decent show. The crap that's on this show is pretty crappy, to say the least. Lothario/Cornette has no business even happening, much less being on PPV. Same with Lawler/Henry.   Best Segment: HBK/Mankind. At least we got a bitchin' match out of a less than spectacular PPV.   Worst Segment: Lothario/Cornette. Please, don't ever do that to me. ___________________   Badd Blood 2003 review will be up on Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest. I'm not too happy that this was voted onto 24/7 over a show like Fall Brawl 2000.  
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Review: WWF In Your House: Beware of Dog, from South Carolina; 5/26 and 5/28/1996.

I wasn't sure what to put in the "from" part of the title, so I just said, "from South Carolina." I think that'll suffice. ___________________   The video to open flashes back to RAW, when Diana Smith, um, said that Shawn Michaels wanted her. Yeah, really. Anyway, I suppose that set this whole thing up, and on commentary, we have Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler. ___________________   Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/some woman vs. Marc Mero w/Sable is the first match.   Blow-by-Blow: Michael Hayes gives Mero an interview, thankfully it's short, because it's brutal. Anyway, Mero runs right into the ring and clobbers HHH, to start the match. Mero chases HHH as he runs around the ring, which allows HHH to get the better when both come back in the ring. Both men trade punches which knocks HHH out of the ring, so Mero gives HHH a tope suicida. Mero sends HHH back in, and follows with a slingshot legdrop, which gets a 2 count. Mero sends HHH into the buckle where HHH goes upside down, then hits him with a big left hand for 2. Mero misses a charge to the corner, and unfortunately, he also gets rammed into the ringpost. HHH gives Mero a single-arm DDT, and a high knee for a 2 count. HHH goes to the armbar, but Mero rolls him up for a 2 count. Mero tries for a backslide, but Mero's left arm is hurt, so HHH rams it into the ringpost, twice. HHH wrenches on Mero's arm, before applying a cross-armbreaker. Poor Mero. He won't quit though, so instead, he makes the ropes. HHH gives Mero a kneedrop, then goes to a wristlock. Mero reverses a HHH back suplex into a rolling clutch hold, which gives him a 2 count. A HHH clothesline only gets a 2 count, so HHH goes to the top. He comes down with a big chop, then applies an armbar on Mero. HHH kneedrops Mero's arm twice, then gives him a hammerlock slam. Up to the top HHH goes, but Mero crotches him and gives him a FRANKENSTEINER. Mero then gives HHH a flying headscissors, and a kneelift. Then a backdrop, and Mero comes off the top rope with a sunset flip for 2. I don't understand the advantages of doing a top rope sunset flip as opposed to a regular one. A dropkick knocks HHH over the top and out of the ring, so Mero tries to fly out with a tope con hilo. He missed, and hurt his knee. Well, it looked legit, but I doubt that it was. Anyway, HHH stalls by berating Sable, and when he goes for the PEDIGREE, Mero slingshots HHH into the ringpost which gets Mero the pinfall victory at 16:24. Match Analysis: Well, this was the beginning of HHH's punishment for the whole Kliq incident, I suppose. It was certain he would lose anyway to a debuting wrestler, but still. By punishment, I mean that he lost almost every match for the next few months, few meaning until October. He only beat guys like Aldo Montoya, Bob Holly, and Freddie Joe Floyd. Then he won the Intercontinental Title from Marc Mero and all was forgiven. Oh yeah, the match rating. ***1/2. Very good selling from Mero, and the psychology was top notch. Can't stand when guys with hurt arms do backslides and the like. ___________________   Mr. Perfect is with Jim Cornette, and the rest of the British Bulldog's posse. Owen Hart has obtained a managerial license, for one night only. Well I'll be damned. Also, Michael Hayes interviews Shawn Michaels. Power of the KLIQ and all that.   The power went off, so we skip all the way forward to the main event of show #1, that being The British Bulldog w/Diana Smith and Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels w/Jose Lothario for the World Wrestling Federation Championship.   Blow-by-Blow: Before the match, Clarence Mason says that Shawn Michaels will be served with a lawsuit. Uh, why? The dumb angle with Diana Smith is just that, dumb. Anyway, Shawn tears the lawsuit papers, which incenses Bulldog to the point where he attacks Shawn. Shawn misses a charge to the corner, but he gives Bulldog an armdrag. Shawn then avoids Bulldog's attempts at an attack, but he tries a SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Well, Bulldog ducks out because he's the smart one, so Shawn gives him a pescado. Back in the ring, they lock up, and Shawn takes Bulldog to the canvas with a headlock. Shawn tries a rollup, but nothing happens, and Bulldog gives Shawn a bearhug. Shawn pins Bulldog for a 2 count after Bulldog ducks to avoid the on-rushing Michaels, then Shawn gives Bulldog an enziguri, which gets a 2 count as well. Shawn applies an armbar, then gives Bulldog a hiptoss and goes to a short-arm scissors. Bulldog does the 'whole power out and pick my opponent up so I can drop them to the canvas thing,' which I like. Bulldog then gives Shawn a backdrop, before picking Shawn up by his hair and dropping him to the canvas. Bulldog then gives Shawn a headbutt, before going to the chinlock. Boo. After a brief moment, Bulldog picks Shawn up in an ARGENTINE BACKBREAKER. Shawn tries a crucifix, but instead, Bulldog just gives him a modified samoan drop. He's tough, oh yeah. A legdrop from the Bulldog gets a 2 count, so Bulldog goes right back to the chinlock. This whole match is, I don't know, weird. Both men run the ropes now, and Shawn falls out of the ring after ducking a clothesline, which made me laugh even more. Bulldog tosses him into the guardrail, then into the apron, before heading back in. While taunting Shawn, Shawn knocks him down to the canvas and gives him a slingshot clothesline, which gets 2. Both collide in the center of the ring, but Shawn gets up first, and delivers a flying forearm to the head of the Bulldog. Of course, Shawn kips up, and he slams Bulldog, before going up top and giving him a double axhandle for 2. Bulldog runs into the official, so now Shawn can give him a flying elbow off the top, too. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND...and kicks Owen, who tried to sneak attack Shawn. Obviously that didn't work. We now have a new ref, and after Bulldog is unable to give Shawn the RUNNING POWERSLAM, Shawn knocks Bulldog into the buckle. A german suplex follows, and we have a three count at 17:22. The winner is...THE BRITISH BULLDOG. OMG WTF NEW CHAMPION. The rest of Camp Cornette is celebrating, and Diana Smith is standing in the aisle with the championship. Wait a second, the other referee just so happens to raise Shawn Michaels hand. OMG WTF SAME CHAMPION. Gorilla Monsoon takes the belt away from her, and he says the winner of this match is....NOBODY. WE HAVE A DRAW. That means Shawn Michaels stays champion, and we'll need to have a rematch, which of course would later take place at King of the Ring '96. Match Analysis: Uh, while I like the double pin finish for some reason, this match was wonky the whole way through. Not bad, just weird. The power outtage must've had something to do with it. I can't possibly see rating this match as anything but average, so we'll slap a **1/2 rating on this one. Could've been lots better, in my opinion. I read that they had another match laid out, but the power outtage kinda killed it. Wonder if that was the match they wound up doing at King of the Ring or not. Anyway, we'll never know. ___________________   Beware of Dog 2 now begins...yeah, this took place on Tuesday of that week. Jim Ross and Mr. Perfect are on commentary, and to start things off, we're going to have Steve Austin w/Ted DiBiase vs. Savio Vega in a CARIBBEAN Strap Match. If Steve Austin loses, Ted DiBiase will be forced to leave the WWF. If Savio Vega loses, he'll have to be Ted DiBiase's chauffeur. If you've never seen a strap match (I'm sure you all have), to win, you must drag your opponent around the ring and touch all four corners. Simple..sure. Also, during show #1, this match (and others) went on, in the DARK. Yes, it was dark, and definitely dangerous.   Blow-by-Blow: So yeah, what a way to start #2. At the start, Austin won't let Vega into the ring, so he uses the strap to keep Vega out. Smart move. Bell rings and both are hooked up to the strap, which Vega uses to scare Austin back out of the ring. Now Vega gives Austin a backdrop on the inside, causing Austin to bail out. Well, Vega pulls him right back in, and whips him with the strap. Hell yes. I love strap matches. Austin tries to bail out again, but Vega whips him, and suplexes him back into the ring. A spinning heel kick from Vega follows, as Vega tries to touch the corners. He touches two, but gets stopped dead in his tracks as Austin pulls him down to the canvas. Austin whips Vega with the strap, then punches away, as both men brawl on the outside. Austin straps Vega, then sends him into the guardrail. Austin now suplexes Vega in, and drags him to three of the corners...but Vega pulls Austin back into the third turnbuckle, hard. Vega clotheslines Austin before beating him with the strap, but Austin backdrops Vega over the top, only to be pulled over the top by the strap. Austin tries a suplex out there, but Vega counters and gives him one of his own. Oh no. Austin tries to give Vega a double axhandle off the ring apron, but he misses. Back in, and Vega ties Austin up, going for some turnbuckles. He touches three of them, but Austin trips him, preventing him from getting to the fourth. Vega places Austin on the top rope, but Austin pushes Vega down to the canvas. Austin stands up, and...Vega crotches him, then gives him a superplex. This match is great. Vega now touches three of the turnbuckle, almost to fo...but Austin gives him a spinebuster just as I'm writing that down. I'm not trying to be Moses Malone with the fo' thing, don't worry about that. Austin tries a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, but Vega reverses, Austin reverses, while heading to the corner. Austin tries to hang Vega from the top rope, but instead, he goes for an axhandle off the top to the outside, and he misses. Ouch, that hurt. Austin rams Vega into the steps anyway, and in we go. Vega places Austin on his shoulders and touches three buckles, before Austin can pull him down to the canvas. Austin gives Vega a piledriver (ooh), but Millionaire Ted doesn't want just one, he wants another. Vega backdrops Austin though, but Austin comes right back with a MILLION DOLLAR DREAM. This guy just won't quit. Vega carries Austin on his back as the hold is applied, so he can touch two turnbuckles, but Vega can't take it, so he kicks off the turnbuckles, launching his body onto Austin's. Austin now ties Vega up and drags him by the neck, but Vega's touching the turnbuckles right after Austin. 1, 2...3 (little hesitation, as Austin almost pulled him too fast. Neat touch that got the crowd a little worked up), and now, they're pulling at each other, trying to keep the other one from touching the last turnbuckle. Vega stops pulling while Austin's pulling too hard, so that launches Vega past Austin and into the fourth turnbuckle, giving him the win at 21:23. Of course, that wasn't how Austin justified it, but hey, I try to call it how it looks. Oh yeah, DiBiase's gone. See ya.   Match Analysis: Hell of a match. Hell of a match. I deliberately typed that twice, for emphasis. That's gotta be the best thing I've seen from Vega, and, well, Austin's great. You knew that, though. I could probably watch that a few more times, and I'm sure I'll watch it once more. I wonder how Vega's strap match with Bradshaw at Mind Games was, but hey, I'm reviewing that next! ****. I checked the Dave Meltzer list, and he has it the same. There's my justification, but he's a journalist and can't be trusted! And yes, I am one of those dudes that likes to look and see how other people's rankings compare to mine. But I only check after I watch the show and rate the matches. ___________________ Vader w/Jim Cornette vs. Yokozuna is up next.   Blow-by-Blow: Man, the WWF fucked Vader's run up. It rings ever true when you hear the reaction he got here. Guy was over. Yoko is just too large...Jesus. Both men slug it out to start, and Yoko gets the better of it. So now, Vader wants a sumo challenge type thing. They stall for a bad 3 or 4 minutes, and Yoko wins their sumo challenge, by knocking Vader over. Yoko clotheslines Vader over the top, but Vader comes back in, and punches away at Yoko. Yoko drops the elbow on Vader's leg twice, because Vader broke his leg on RAW a few months back, you see. Vader tries a bodyslam, but Yokozuna gives him a uranage instead. A samoan drop from Yokozuna follows, then Yoko goes upstairs for the BANZAI DROP. Jim Cornette steps to Yoko, so Yoko tosses him in. After a headbutt, he goes to give Corny a BANZAI DROP, but Vader pulls Cornette out from under Yoko, causing Yoko to rock the ring with his giant ass. VADER BOMB, and thankfully, it's over, at 8:55. Match Analysis: This one made Vader look sorta weak, although you have to take into account that he's facing a giant human being. Still, weak. The match sucked balls, and I advise that all of you fast-forward past it. 1/4*. ___________________ The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs. Goldust w/Marlena in a CASKET MATCH for the Intercontinental Title is our "main event."   Blow-by-Blow: It's a good thing that Vince isn't on commentary for this. It would be unbearable. So, we see a video of Goldust's exploits on RAW the night previous...yes, that was the night where he gave Ahmed Johnson "CPR." As far as that segment goes, I think that's pushing the envelope a little too far. Just a little. I looked for a video so the rest of you could see, but I couldn't find one. Anyway, the bell tolls, lights go out, and hey, Paul Bearer's coming down the aisle, but the Undertaker's in the ring! He rams Goldust into the canvas, then the turnbuckle, before giving Goldust a back elbow. Goldust gets a little too close to the casket, which scares him, so he backs away. Only to be thrown on top of the casket, that is. Taker rams Goldust into the steps, then the casket, before bringing him back in. Bodyslam and a legdrop, then OLD SCHOOL. Well, it isn't really old school, cause it's current school. Anyway, Taker misses a charge to the corner, which allows Goldust to gain control. A Goldust slam doesn't do a whole lot, and neither does a Goldust TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER. Goldust clotheslines Taker so he can put him in the casket, but the casket will not shut. Taker storms out and gives Goldust a big boot, but Goldust responds by backdropping Taker over the top rope. Goldust rams Taker into the steel steps, and chokes him with a TV cord for good measure. Back inside, Goldust gives Taker a sleeper, presumably to put him out for good. It works, but once inside the casket, Taker won't let the thing close. Goldust tries to lie on the casket in order to get it shut, but Taker throws him off and to the floor. Back in we go, and Taker clotheslines Goldust right back over the top. Taker grabs a chair, but Goldust kicks him, and gives him a clothesline before going back into the ring. Goldust gives Taker a powerslam, and a clothesline from up top, before covering Taker. Uh...easily explainable within the context of the match, so who cares how dumb it looks. Anyway, Goldust tries OLD SCHOOL, but Taker pulls him down to the canvas. What a mistake. TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER from Taker, now Taker brings Goldust over to the canvas. When the casket is opened...there's MANKIND! How the fuck do they do that (meaning make a guy appear inside of the casket), anyway? Mankind applies the MANDIBLE CLAW, then stuffs Taker into the casket, and shuts it, giving Goldust the win at 12:38. MWHAHAHAHA. Mankind now locks the casket, which causes smoke to come out of the thing. Whoa dudes. Goldust and Mankind leave, then the casket opens and...there's NOBODY THERE. Now, how the fuck do they do that? Anyway, lights out much like on Sunday Night, and the show's over.   Match Analysis: Far better than I thought. Still average though, but a different average than the average displayed in Shawn/Davey. This is a good average, as in, you sure as hell wouldn't expect this. Shawn/Davey was bad average, the average I sure as hell don't want to see. **1/2. Like I said, average. There was one thing I liked though, even though Goldust couldn't beat Taker by himself, he was put over quite well. Being able to "hang" with a main-eventer puts someone over well, I feel. Or it used to. ___________________   Rating: Let's see, we've got five matches. Four of them are **1/2 or above. Now, what do you think I have to give this? Well, I'll say it's great. How about that? Yeah, I favor cards that are able to give me as much good or average as possible. Little to no bad is a definite plus.   Best Segment: Caribbean Strap Match. Yeah.   Worst Segment: Yokozuna vs. Vader. Boo. ___________________   Mind Games review will be up next. Maybe even Saturday. Who knows, with these two hour shows. If you can't tell, I really enjoy reviewing WWF shows. I don't know why, but my match analyses are longer when doing them. Maybe because they haven't posted many WCW shows from what I'd call my DOMAIN. When they did, my hand was hurt. Don't forget that.   Seeing as comments have tapered off a bit, I'd like to remind everyone that comments are encouraged. I realize that comments kinda going away may have a bit to do with the 24/7 folder, too. Tomorrow I might go through the trouble of cataloguing everything so that it's easier to find.
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Review: WWF from the Boston Garden, 9/7/85

Wow, this is older than me. Full review this time, and if I'm feelin' it, same for One Night Only tomorrow or Tuesday. If I'm not feelin' it, a truncated version will have to do.   Gorilla and Jesse on commentary, thank goodness. Can't stand when they edit Jesse out of these...   1st match, "Leaping" Lanny Poffo v. Iron Mike Sharpe.   Prematch: ....   Blow-by blow: Sharpe wants the ring announcer to introduce him as the Best Canadian something or other, so they re-do his ring entrance. No poem from Lanny, for shame. 2 minutes of wasted time and a monkey flip and three dropkicks starts it off for Poffo, a quick kip-up, and a cross-body gets two. Poffo's a house of fire, so he gets three arm drags and Sharpe reverses the arm-wringer into a head scissor. Poffo stands on his head, does some gay split-legged, bicycle riding shit, and gets out of the scissor. Some SLOW armwork by Sharpe leads to a hammerlock reversal by Poffo, and Sharpe breaks it. Poffo gets an enziguri, they brawl on the outside as this just feels like a draw, and Poffo gets a sunset flip for one on his way in, as the ref counts SLOW AS FUCK. Speed that shit up, son. Punches for 2 minutes (yes, I timed these times which seem randomly arbitrary, and they aren't random so nyah), and Sharpe misses an ugly dropkick. Real ugly. Poffo does a front flip off the top for a slow 2, then a standing front flip onto Sharpe for another 2 count, and then a standing MOONSAULT IN 1985! for 2 more. Seems like a build to a finish, but Sharpe kills that with a knee and shoulderblock, Poffo gets a small package on a bodyslam reversal for 2, another cradle for 2 and the "20 minute" time limit expires at around 17 minutes. Poffo gives Sharpe a small beating at the end and Sharpe bails to the back.   Match analysis: I can't stand time-limit draws, and this was no exception. They screwed around for about 10 minutes and brought some good stuff at the end. To be kind, I'll give them **.   2nd match, Rene Goulet v. King Tonga.   Prematch: Goulet is the man with the GLOVE OF SHINING DIAMONDS, but he removes said glove and brings out a bowling glove. Huh? King Tonga is Haku, btw. Obviously...   Blow-by-blow: Stalling (sigh), and Tonga gets a beel as Goulet stops screwing around. A takedown, arm-wringer and strikes follow, as Tonga gets punched in the head to stop it. But Islanders have hard heads, see; as Jesse points out, so it doesn't affect King Tonga. Boring chant gets started (and I don't blame them), and Tonga gets a snapmare for two. Whip in and Goulet gets a pretty good clothesline in on Tonga, and Goulet applies THE CLAWWWWW. More boring chants. Goulet grabs something out of his tights and whaps King Tonga upside his head with it. Goulet then bites him, and applies the claw. Haku Tonga breaks it up with some karate strikes, and throws Goulet into the turnbuckle for a Flair Flip. A back suplex from Tonga gets two, but a nice superkick and crossbody from the top finishes for King Tonga at 9:33. I did some fact checking on the times, but I like mine better.   Match analysis: Sucked, no heat, boring, sucked, no heat. Goulet is obviously near the end of the line at this point. 3/4*.   3rd match, Moondog Spot[/i ] v. [i]Corporal Kirchner.   Prematch: Spot's holding a bone and I like Kirchner's music. The beret is sorta ghey.   Blow-by-blow: Kirchner starts off with a dropkick to send Spot out, as soon as Spot gets back in, his ass eats an atomic drop to send him back out. Kirchner gets an armdrag and legdrop on the right arm and puts some more work in. Spot breaks it up with a knee to the head, but Kirchner sends him into the corner for a monkey flip. Now Kirchner starts working on the left (I absolutely can't stand when someone does this) arm and Kirchner says forget it, and gives him some shoulder and a crossbody for 2. They wind up on the floor, and Spot throws Kirchner into the barricade, knocking the barricade over. I liked that part. Chinlock on the inside from Spot, power out by the Cpl, and both guys miss elbows, a nice sunset flip by Kirchner gets two. A small dead period here, and when it's done, Spot comes off the 2nd rope with a fist to the head of Kirchner. Back to the chinlock...then a stomachbreaker by Moondog Spot. Back to the chinlock....and Kirchner starts his comeback. Hiptoss, another monkey flip, and a double clothesline to kill it. I got the feeling there was going to be a draw, but Spot tries a slam and it's reversed into a cradle by Corporal Kirchner for the fall at 14:51.   Match analysis: If you haven't noticed, I know how to make shitty matches sound decent. This one was terrible. Another 3/4*.   4th match, Swede Hanson vs. The Missing Link!!!!!   Prematch: I have a confession to make. I've never, EVER seen a Missing Link match. Hopefully I won't be disappointed.   Blow-by-blow: Headbutts by Link, 2 backrakes by Missing Link, 3 backslaps by Link, and another headbutt by The Missing Link to start out. Punchy, kicky and a headbutt for Swede. Missed headbutt by Link, but he gets an elbow drop and another headbutt. Then a springboard headbutt for Link, and on his way back up, Swede gives him a nutshot and a scoop slam. Some legwork on Link's left leg, and a knee lift as he gives up the legwork. Link headbutts him some more, and The Missing Link hits a headbutt off the 2nd rope to finish at 5:35.   Match analysis: Ugh. Color me disappointed. Nothing but headbutts. DUD.   The 5th match is for the WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION BAH GAWD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD. The challenger is King Kong Bundy w/Jimmy Hart and the champion is HULK MF HOGAN.   Prematch: Danny Davis is the ref, and he's sporting a nice little fro. King Kong Bundy is looking decidedly less mean than he did in months afterward, and it's always weird (for me anyway) to see Hart not wearing a special jacket for his charge. Hulk Hogan comes out to a freakin' gigantic pop, probably one of the 5 loudest and longest. I've heard for him. They love him in Boston. Hogan's wearing white, and I believe we all know what that means. If you don't, you will. Hogan's also American Made. The only things I dislike about the houseshows are the lack of rambling promos in the prematch, and Hillbilly Jim. I hate Hillbilly Jim. Anyway.   Blow-by-blow: Hulk's the irresistable force meeting the immovable object, as he gets a big head of steam and runs into Bundy. Bundy doesn't move the first time, so Hulk decides he's going to give him a knee lift for his pleasure the second time 'round and knocks Bundy down quick. Hogan tries to slam Bundy, but it fails and Bundy falls on him for a close two. Big elbow drop by Bundy and Bundy gives him a splash for two. Hogan gets up and gives Bundy some head smashes into the turnbuckle, a whip to the other side and Hogan gives him a HUGE clothesline to put Bundy's fatass on the ground. Bundy catches Hogan in the gut as Hogan's about to go to work, and King Kong takes Hulk over. He chokes him and goes to a chinlock. Hogan powers out quickly and attempts a wristlock reversal. It goes well for a few seconds, but Bundy clocks him, snapmare's Hogan over, an elbow drop and back to the chinlock. Quick break again leads to a bearhug that eats up a minute of the match. The star ratings come off, because the match was really goin' up to this point. Monsoon calls Hulk Hogan, "the People's Champ (now where have I heard that?)." A fake Hulk-up gets Hogan a clothesline and kneedrop for his troubles. Cover gets two, as Bundy decides it's time to finish things up. Whip into the turnbuckle and Bundy goes for the Avalanche. He nails it, but the big splash afterward only gets 2. Another Avalanche and an elbowdrop gets 2, and it's Hulk-up time. 3 punch, boot, Bundy doesn't go down, running elbow, and the atomic drop is what gets Bundy down. Hart finally gets involved and eats the power of Hulkamania. He gets on the apron again and tosses the megaphone to Bundy. Megaphone shot leads to a DQ for Bundy and Hogan retains his title at 8:58. Hogan does a decent blade-job (that's why he was wearing white, btw) cleans out the ring, does some posing and that's that. The crowd is dead from here, just as they were dead before this match.   Match analysis: I loved it. Heat was off the charts, and the time of the rest holds was kept to a minimum. No doubt MOTN, **1/4 for the affair. Got Bundy over as a threat (because Hogan never hit the legdrop, and never had a chance to, at that), and next month's show in Boston finished what was started in September. I feel bad for whoever stayed after this.     6th match, SD Jones v. Adrian Adonis.   Prematch: This is before Adrian's gay gimmick, as he comes to the ring wearing biker garb. It hides his fat well, as one can see when it is disposed of. He's gigantic. He has the Yankees logo on his boots, getting over the whole, "from Hell's Kitchen" thing.   Blow-by-blow: Adonis swings his belt at SD, and SD somehow gets it back, but he doesn't take a swing although Adonis turns his back and vacates. They trade hammerlocks as Jones takes him over, but Adonis gets up and gives him a shoulderblock and nice drop toe hold. Starts with the legwork, but Jones hits a monkey flip and an armdrag as there's a disturbance in the crowd. They trade punches for a bit to let the commotion die down, and Adonis does an Albert type slingshot/decapitation into the ropes and SD sells the neck well. Adonis won't let SD in unless it's the hard way, and the hard way is a suplex in by Adonis. It gets a 2 count. Goodnight Irene for Jones, but it's not over as Jones does the babyface powerup. SD gives Adonis a nice Special Delivery headbutt, then he delivers big ol' Adrian into the ropes and Adonis does a nice tie-up spot. I've never seen that one before. It was a backflip out of the ring, but Adrian tied his hands into the ropes, leaving the entire front of the body open for shots as he's on his knees. Nice stuff. Adonis gets out and turned upside down as he's whipped into the buckle, but SD's comeback doesn't last for long, as he whips AA into the ropes for a "reverse bulldog," as Monsoon would say, but really, it's a DDT by Adonis for the win at 8:07. My times aren't like the listed ones because even if the bell's rang, if a guy doesn't have his garb off and nothing's going on, I don't time it.   Match analysis: Strong work by Adonis. Not much more than a glorified squash of Jones, but both guys did a good job. *1/2. The match was harmless, and guys in the current 'E' would do well to learn from this. Wrestling isn't just about hitting spots.   7th match, Desiree Peterson v. Leilani Kai   Prematch: Nothing much of note here, but they announced Desiree Peterson as being from Copenhagen. Come on.   Blow-by-blow: Starts off with 2 dropkicks from Peterson and Kai tries to bail. She can't, as she gets beeled back in. A nice flying headscissor from Peterson and one of them (I honestly forgot) makes the other one spread their legs in a submission move. I forgot who it was, because I was so surprised to see it. Really, WTF? A nice drop toe hold from Peterson, then a half crab, arm-wringer and then legdrop on the arm. Monkey flip by Peterson, but Kai turns the tide with a hairmare and an eye rake against the ropes. Chokes and crap to Peterson, a blown double underhook once, but re-do the spot again and Kai gets it for a SSSSSLLLLLOOOOWWW two. Goodness, what's in the water tonight. Every ref but Davis has been slow as hell. 2 fist drops get two for Kai, but Peterson pulls out an abdominal stretch on an irish whip reversal. Poor Peterson, she can't catch a break as Kai goes to work with some back rakes. Two big throws by Kai and a scoop slam. Good dropkick by Peterson coming off the whip, then she picks Kai up and gives her a backdrop followed by a slam. Failed splash by Peterson, but she decides to go up to the top. Peterson gets three after a BIG flying dropkick. No time, but it was longish.   Match analysis: Dead crowd. Dead me. It's going to take much better than that effort to get my attention. *1/2, it could have been much better.       Now, for the Main Event of the Evening, a 6 Man Tag, it's the current WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, The Dream Team, Valentine and Beefcake with Johnny V as their third man, and the team of Pedro Morales, Ivan Putski, and Uncle Elmer, and they're accompanied by Cousin Junior and Hillbilly Jim   Prematch: This shit is going to suck. The hillbilly that can actually put in a decent match is on the outside, Putski is an old man roided to the gills, and I don't care much for Morales. With Johnny V and Beefcake on the other side, that'll be bad for teh snowflakes. Junior does some redneck dance and we're underway.   Blow-by-blow: Literally, nothing happens for 5 minutes. They're starting at -* and have to work their way up. Valentine and Elmer finally go to work, and Elmer sends Valentine down with a weak right, so he does it again and this time it looks better. Shoulderblock by Elmer and a choke toss, and Elmer wants Beefcake, so Beefcake tags in. He taunts Hillbilly, and during that Putski tags in with some POLISH POWER and works over the heels with some POLISH POWERED PUNCHES. Tag to Morales, and the faces are doing well for themselves now that Elmer's out. They're out of negative territory. Double noggin-knocker for Johnny V and Beefcake, but the heels take over quickly. A Beefcake slam and then the camera cuts to a sign that says "Brutus Beefcake loves Greg the Faggot Valentine." Exactly as it was written, I shit you not. Got a laugh out of me, if only because I wasn't expecting it. That isn't the only reason, it's also because this show has really tried my patience. Back to the action, as Valentine tags in, misses an elbow and Pedro starts to go to work. Lefts for Valentine, but Johnny V catches Morales and sets him up for Valentine. Valentine misses and hits Johnny V with a good looking right. No big deal, Valentine didn't forget about Morales. He stops that assault and tags in Johnny V, who definitely wants a piece of Morales. Some weak offense by Valiant, but Putski decides he wants to break it up anyway. The ref gets in the way (I think it's Davis again), and Valiant grabs a front facelock on Morales. A false hot tag, and the heels do a switch, as Valentine takes over. Couple elbows and a few two counts, but Morales kicks out. Legwork by the Hammer leads to a Figure 4, but fatass Elmer breaks it up. Pedro sneaks through the legs of one of the heels and tags Putski. POLISH POWER leads to a schmoz, and Pedro rolls up Johnny V although neither of them were the legal man. Gay. The Hillbillies, sans Elmer, dance in the ring to end the show, as the broadcast portion goes out with a shot of Monsoon and Ventura saying good things about Boston.   Match analysis: 5 minutes of nothing doesn't cut it for me. *1/4. If I were to ignore the nothing portion of the match, I'd give it 1/2 a star more. Elmer is useless, and Beefcake doesn't do much. Beefcake didn't play a big part, so that was nice.   Bad show that gets a * star rating, but it's not as bad as Hardcore Heaven. Despite the poor rating for this, Hardcore Heaven was simply inexcusable, as wrestling was in a state that could produce far better matches. Not only that, I expected more out of Hardcore Heaven. I knew all I was going to get out of this was Bundy v. Hogan, and while I believe that was easily the best match with by far the most heat, it's not enough. Watch for historical purposes, prepare to FF. Not good.   Comments and suggestions are welcome. My bad reviews will probably be longer than the good ones, but then again, I haven't reviewed anything good so far. Keep the hits comin', as I can't keep up the 2 reviews per day pace forever.   I thought it would be easier than this, but it's a guaranteed two hour entry for each one I write. It shouldn't be like this for the TV shows or PPV's, but for house shows it's tough. I'll keep 'em comin' until it isn't fun anymore, which won't be for a while.
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Review: WWF from Madison Square Garden, 8/22/1987.

As I said, I didn't rate or review the matches from the house show posted at the beginning of the month. ___________________   Scott Casey vs. Tama is the first match, as Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary.   - I'm not too excited about this match, so there's going to be an evident lack of words. Tama has rabies, cause he's foaming at the mouth. Literally!   - A Tama splash off the second rope finishes things via pinfall at 11:24. 1/2* for a matchup in which little effort was put forth. ___________________   Tito Santana vs. Outlaw Ron Bass is next up...   - Tito attacks at the start, and then we see a wild brawl. The floor is really dirty, as you can see by the color of Tito's back, which is black. Bass' piledriver was funny, because Tito's head never came close to the canvas. Like, a foot away.   - We're going to the time limit. 19:49 is the end of the bout, after Tito knocks Bass to the floor with a flying forearm. We have a draw. Tito wanted 5 more minutes, but Bass said "no mas" and left. **1/2. Would've liked it more had there been a finish. ___________________ Velvet McIntyre is taking on Sensational Sherri for the Ladies' Title.   - Sherri's entrance attire (cape and all) makes her look like a superhero. Just sayin'.   - The match isn't very good, as I figured. That's too bad. We get to see a giant swing, which keeps me happy. While not good, this is better than Casey/Tama. Sherri pins McIntyre after a back suplex at 14:24. *. You read right, 14 minutes for a ladies match. It'll be easier to explain why as this continues. ___________________ Rick Martel vs. Haku w/Tama is right now...   - But we've got a bit of an argument here. Tito Santana joins us because he's got a problem with Tama being at ringside. So, Tama wants that dumb Mexican to leave. However, the referee wants BOTH Tama and Santana to leave. They do.   - Duke Doherty has joined us for commentary. Thankfully, he's nowhere near as bad as he was on that Houston show I reviewed a while back.   - Tama hits Martel with a steel chair, allowing Haku to pick up the victory at 9:18. **. A stretcher comes out, but Martel leaves without using it. ___________________   Andre the Giant comes out, but doesn't get into the ring, because the fans were booing him. He then leaves. ___________________   The lumberjacks are out, and they consist of almost everyone with matches on the show. Ok, not almost everyone, but many of them. Those guys are...Tito Santana, the Islanders, George Steele, Junkyard Dog, Jose Estrada, Lanny Poffo, Ron Bass and Scott Casey. A jobberific roster to be sure, which explains how the ladies match and so many others ran/run so long.   The match they're lumberjacking in is Ricky Steamboat vs. Honky Tonk Man w/Jimmy Hart for the Intercontinental Championship.   - The entrances were during the commercial break, which sucks. This is a good excuse to have Santana fight with the Islanders.   - Good stuff we have here. Steamboat goes for the end, but Jimmy Hart distracts the referee, so we don't have a pinfall. For some reason, George Steele came into the ring and counted the fall, so the referee's gotta send him out. While the referee is doing that, Steamboat hits Jimmy Hart, which leaves the megaphone in the ring. Honky waffles Steamboat with it, and we've got a victor via pinfall at 11:40. ***. After the bout, much like in most lumberjack matches, we've got a free for all. Noice. The o in that word was deliberate. Just say it out loud. ___________________   After Gorilla Monsoon interviews Duke Doherty and I wonder why, I suddenly remember that intermission is usually after the real main event. So, we've got a few of these.   Next, with Superstar Billy Graham. I love his promo style.   A terrible promo with Butch Reed and Slic follows...   Last, Gorilla Monsoon is with the Junkyard Dog and George "the Animal" Steele. ___________________ Superstar Billy Graham vs. Butch Reed w/Slick is on...   - Graham's body looks like Hogan's circa 2002. Not in a good way. He can't take a flat-back bump, so he shouldn't be wrestling. As a result, the match sucks.   - Slick hits Graham with his cane, to end things at 8:58. -*. Both guys fight, until it gets broken up by Pat Patterson and Gorilla Monsoon. You read that last name right. On the way in, he elbowed Slick to the canvas. That was the only redeemable aspect of that situation. Both guys were DQ'd. ___________________   Lanny Poffo vs. Jose Estrada is next...I fastforwarded. Poffo won. ___________________ Our main event is...Demolition vs. The Junkyard Dog and George "the Animal" Steele.   - Ok, this is really going to suck. We all know it.   - The match could not possibly be slower. Steele hits Smash with a chair, getting his team disqualified at 6:10. At least it was short. DUD. ___________________   Rating: Bad. Too many DUD'y matches.   Best Segment: Steamboat/Honky   Worst Segment: Graham vs. Reed. ___________________   You see, this was the WWF's "B" roster. The "C" roster's show on the same day was headlined by...Paul Orndorff vs. Harley Race, and Jake Roberts vs. King Kong Bundy. The "A" roster's show had matches like Ted DiBiase vs. Davey Boy Smith, The Hart Foundation vs. Kamala and Sika, and Hulk Hogan vs. Killer Khan. The roster was in need of strengthening. Thankfully, that would come soon after, with guys moving up the card, people like Rick Rude coming in, etc...   No Way Out 2008 review will be up before or on Tuesday.  
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Review: WWF from Madison Square Garden, 2/23/92.

Back to the PPV-ish review system we go...     Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary.   ___________________   The first match, is The Berzerker vs. Jim Brunzell.   Prematch: Huss, huss, huss, huss, huss, huss...and Brunzell looks strange not being a part of the Killer Bees.   Blow-by-blow: Brunzell gives Berzerker a monkeyflip and an atomic drop, then Berzerker counters with a boot to the head. Berzerker chop, jumping boot (weird move), and then The Berzerker pushes Brunzell into the steel post on the outside. Berzerker peels back the padding and slams Brunzell on the concrete, and tosses him back in the ring afterward. He keeps tossing Brunzell out, then we go to some restholds. Once we get out of that, Berzerker hits Jim with a HUGE shoulderblock for a 2 count. Brunzell then bites Berzerker, and mongolian chops him. I hate that move. Brunzell hits Berzerker with his signature dropkick for 2, then comes off the ropes with a crossbody attempt, but gets hit with a Berzerker fall-down slam for the pinfall at 8:42.   Match analysis: Just a solid opener. Nothing to see here, but Berzerker looked good. *1/2.   ___________________   The 2nd match, is The Bushwhackers vs. The Nasty Boys w/Jimmy Hart.   Prematch: Why. This could be terrible, or just bad. Hopefully bad.   Blow-by-blow: Both teams play to the crowd for two minutes until Luke bites Knobbs on the ass. Ew, gross. The Bushwhackers then do that little "wishbone, step on the nuts but we're really stepping on your stomachs" spot, and the Nasties bail. If I had it my way, they would have stayed gone. This match is just ttteedddiiioouusss so I'll pick up near the hot-tag. The Nasties chinlock Luke to death, until Knobbs goes up and misses a splash. Tag Butch, and Butch is a house of fire. Just some weak-ass bullshit offense, then the Battering Ram. Knobbs has Heenan's coke poured on him by one of the Bushwhackers, and Saggs makes the save with a bellshot to the back of Butch for the pin at 12:38.   Match analysis: It could have been worse. FAR, FAR worse. DUD.   ___________________   The 3rd match, is Chris Walker vs. The Warlord.   Prematch: Walker has this Tarzan thing going on. I know what I'm going to get here, so pardon me if it seems like it's not interesting. The match sure wasn't.   Blow-by-blow: This is a Warlord squash. He's slow as fuck, and he sucks dick. And the match is 11 minutes long. I'm going to spare you all the review. Just fastforward past this shit and don't look back. Warlord powerbombs Walker after an attempted rana for the pin at 11:13.   Match analysis: No. Just, fuck no. Warlord can't work worth a shit, and they gave him more than 10 minutes. Give me a break. -*, for my first negative star rating I've given. And probably the worst squash match I've ever seen. I'd rather watch Nash work with El Gigante. I would have reviewed it, had it not been a squash. Had it not been a squash, it could have been average.   ___________________   The 4th match, is Sid Justice w/Harvey Whippleman vs. Hercules.   Prematch: Hercules doesn't have his chain. He probably forgot all about it when the WWF told him the time he had for this match. This is by far the best "version" of Sid. They built him up like a beast, gave him great music, and a manager to cover for his verbal deficiencies. The audience cheered Sid, even though he was supposed to be a monster heel. I'm not kidding. Sid grabs the mic real quick and gives Herc a chance to leave, but being the man Herc is, he won't.   Blow-by-blow: Big boot, powerbomb, goodbye. 0:25 is the time.   Match analysis: That's probably the best Sid match of all-time. *. That's how you squash, brother.   ___________________   The 5th match, is for the World Rasslin' Federation Intercontinental Championship. The challenger, from the Motor City (harhar) is the Repo Man. The champion, is Rowdy Roddy Piper.   Prematch: There's a lot goin' on here. Piper having the title is two things. One, a lifetime achievement. Two, a vehicle they can use to help put Bret Hart over, which Piper did. I could do some checking, but I'm too lazy, so I'll say that the WM VIII match with Bret was Piper's only pinfall loss in the WWF. Repo Man's music is the shit. Before the match, he steals a watch from an "unsuspecting" woman at ringside. Piper finds out once he gets to the ring, and he's pissed. The announcers mention WM 8 at every opportunity, and Alfred lets us know it's intermission after this match, as he leaves the commentary table for a brief time.   Blow-by-blow: Piper takes off the belt to his skirt kilt, and starts beating Repo Man with it. Piper then clotheslines Repo with the belt. Repo misses the inverted atomic drop, and Piper does the spot where he pokes his opponent in the eye. Piper rams Repo into the stairs, and Repo returns the favor, but into the post rather than the stairs. On the inside, Piper gets the sleeper, then Repo makes the ropes. Thought it was over, I did. Repo has his tow hook, but Earl Hebner grabs the rope attached to the hook to prevent him from using it. Piper grabs the hook and nails Repo with it, which leads to the pinfall at 3:33. Piper then gives the lady at ringside her watch.   Match analysis: Harmless, really. They saved Piper for the battle royal later. *1/4.   ___________________   It's INTERMISSION time, and we go to a set of interviews. Flair...Piper....Hogan. 4 brothers in Hogan's spiel, btw.   ___________________   The 6th match is one that I've wanted to see for a long time. It's the British Bulldog vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer.   Prematch: Taker's entrance is awesome, even then. That's all.   Blow-by-blow: UT chokes DBS, once the referee breaks DBS finds the strength within to clothesline UT over the top rope. Davey can't hold UT up for a suplex or body slam, so UT just simply chokes him. Again, he chokes after the break. UT no-sells every damn thing in this match. Davey finally gets the delayed vertical suplex, and my initial reaction is..WOW. UT's feet are 12-13 feet high in the air. That's high. Davey charges at UT, but gets stungun'd along the top rope and UT pins him at 5:19.   Match analysis: Strange, strange match. *, for the novelty of the match, but I wonder who Davey pissed off. He was squashed like a bug.   ___________________   The 7th match is the Big Boss Man (that's how it was displayed on the graphic) vs. "The Model" Rick Martel w/Arrogance.   Prematch: Bossman has the nightstick, and Martel has Arrogance. Martel looks terrible wearing that pink garbage down to the ring. Martel says something about the terrible fans at MSG, and we start...   Blow-by-blow: Martel slaps Bossman across the face, then runs and hides. Smart guy. Bossman slams Martel twice, so Martel bails out of the ring. Bossman chases him, then hipblocks him. Then he messes Martel's hair up and stomps on his face. Armwringer by Bossman, then a hipblock reversal in favor of Bossman. Bossman clocks Martel upside his head, then pushes him down with one finger. Bossman misses a charge toward the turnbuckle, and Martel takes over. Martel with a back suplex for a 2 count, as the tide has been reversed. Martel works on the back of Bossman, by sitting on his back while applying a chinlock (it's the little things that make a match, like this), and as Rick notices Bossman powering out, he runs up to the turnbuckle and delivers a double axehandle off the 2nd rope. Bossman gets a small package out of nowhere for 2, so Martel gives him a backbreaker. Logically, it makes sense. Bossman crotches Martel as he heads to the top this time, then backdrops him. Martel situates him on the ropes, and Bossman slides to the outside and delivers a thrust to the throat of Martel. Martel grabs Arrogance and the Bossman steals it, but Martel uses the nightstick instead, wallops Bossman with it, and gets the pinfall victory at 13:49.   Match analysis: These guys are among my favorite guys to watch, and they put together a nice match here. Enjoyable, a **1/2 rating is in order.   ___________________   It's battle royal time, and I need to explain my rating system. Yes, it is based mostly on the finish, and who the participants are. For my review, I just write down the important parts. I can review a Royal Rumble, but not this. Too much goes on, too fast. I try to keep up the best I can. I rate them like _/10, and the scale is completely independent than that of other matches. 10/10 is what I believe to be the best battle royal possible. The one on RAW in 93 that set up Razor's first IC title victory is my favorite. Just being honest. It's on the Monday Night RAW tape from 94 or so that, IMO, is the best Coliseum Video tape of all. It's amazing.   ___________________   The participants in this 20 man battle royal are: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Chris Walker, The Model Rick Martel, Ric Flair, The Big Boss Man, British Bulldog, Hulk Hogan, Brian Knobbs, The Berzerker, Hercules, Bushwhacker Luke, Skinner, Repo Man, The Warlord, Kato, Jim Brunzell, Jerry Saggs, Bushwhacker Butch, The Undertaker, and Sid Justice.   So, here we go. Butch has taped ribs to sell the bellshot from Saggs that took place earlier, so he's the first to go. Before that, Hogan and Sid brawled as soon as Hogan got into the ring, and that started the match. That makes sense. After that, nobody goes out for a bit, until The Berzerker is dumped. Skinner out. Kato out. Brunzell goes out somewhere in here, as I'm paying attention to Undertaker and Hogan teaming up on Ric Flair. Hercules and Martel go out, then Piper and Flair brawl. Saggs out, Luke out, Walker out, Flair and Repo get dumped quickly thereafter by Piper, so Sid dumps Piper to get both Flair and Piper back to the dressing room. They can hug it out. Bossman puts UT out, then Sid puts Davey out. Hogan then puts Knobbs out, and we have 4 men left at 13:10. The Warlord, Sid, Hogan and Bossman are the guys left and it's obvious who will exit, and we go to the finish quickly as Hogan dumps Warlord, and Sid dumps Bossman. The crowd is fuckin' electric for this encounter, and for some reason, a damn ref is in the ring. Sid whoops on that ref, and gets dumped by Hogan. BUT, because there's no ref to ring the bell, Justice slides back in. Sid grabs Harvey Whippleman's doctor bad, and hits Hogan with it. He slides Hogan out under the rope, and wakes the ref up. Why the fuck couldn't Hogan just let Sid throw him out like everyone else? Once the ref wakes up, it's Hebner BAH GAWD, AND IT'S TIME TO RING THE FUCKIN' BELL AT 16:37.   As for the match, 7/10 is my ranking. IT's not bad, but it's nothing great. But there's quite a bit of talent in that ring, so the rating gets bumped up.     That's it, show's over.     For the entire show, my ranking is *1/4. It's not worth it to sit down and watch the whole thing. If you skip the 2nd and 3rd matches, you'll be in good shape. I'm going to watch it again, but only by skipping those matches. It's a solid enough show. Match of the night is Bossman/Martel, and the worst match is obviously Warlord/Walker.     ___________________   I think I'll do part 3 of the Undertaker DVD next, but I'm not reviewing the first HiAC until Badd Blood is posted later this month. Til then...   Before too much longer, I'll discuss my rating system, and how I write these.
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Review: WWF from Madison Square Garden, 12/28/90.

I looked on thehistoryofwwe.com, and saw that this card looked pretty good. So, here.   Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary. ___________________   The first match is Koko B. Ware vs. Black Bart...for whatever reason, I haven't seen Bart in the WWF before. Frankie, Koko's parrot, comes along with him.   Blow-by-blow: We start things up with a lock-up, and Bart attempts to knock Koko's head off with a punch, but misses. Koko takes Bart over with an armwringer, but Bart reaches the ropes. Koko applies a hammerlock, but again, Bart gets the ropes. Koko gives Bart two hiptosses and a dropkick, so Bart bails out of the ring. Bart wants a TEST OF STRENGTH, Koko complies, and in doing so, after winning the test of strength, steps on Bart's hand. Koko dropkicks him, but after a few right hands, Bart chokes Koko with his boot. Bart tosses Koko onto the top prope for 2, and applies the CHINLOCK. Bart gives Koko a knee to the gut for 2, and reapplies the CHINLOCK. Koko punches Bart in the head, and both men go down. Bart with a bodyslam, but he misses an elbowdrop. Koko can't slam him, and Bart falls on top for a 2 count. Bart misses a charge into the corner, and they begin the ending sequence. Koko gets a roll-up for a 2 count, and a suplex for 2. Then, Koko gets a small package for 2, but afterwards, Bart chokes him. He scratches Koko on the back, and Koko delivers a running headbutt to Bart. Koko with a missile dropkick and he gets a BRAINBUSTER for 3, at 10:08.   Match Analysis: I always thought the Ghostbuster was like an X-Factor, but a BRAINBUSTER? Wish I had known that before. Anyway, the match was **. Solid opener, probably as good as it could have been. ___________________   Next up, we have The Warlord vs. Jimmy "SUPERFLY" Snuka. I don't care for Jimmy's music. To make a simple observation, Snuka's fall from 1983 to 1990 was a hard one. From steel cages with Don Muraco to opening with the Warlord. Damn, he was 47 at this point. That's hard to believe, even though it's the truth. Explains a lot...   Blow-by-blow: Warlord attacks Snuka from behind, then chokes him, as the bell rings. Snuka's offense consists of chops and headbutts, just so you know what you're in for. That's what he does, and he also tries a crossbody here. He can't get that, as he's caught and slammed to the canvas by the Warlord. Warlord misses an elbowdrop, so Snuka headbutts him. Snuka brings the action toward the corner, and chops Warlord in the neck a few times. Unfortunately for Snuka, Warlord gives him an inverted atomic drop. THE SUPERFLY gets clotheslined, and choked by the Warlord. Warlord follows that with a boot to the head of Snuka that knocks Snuka out of the ring; Warlord joins Snuka on the outside and slams Snuka into the ringpost. Warlord suplexes Snuka back into the ring, and gives him an elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Warlord gives Snuka a bearhug, a move that will certainly affect my enjoyment of this match. It was going swell, until that. Anyhow, Snuka headbutts Warlord in order to break the hold, and gives him a headbutt off the top rope for 2. Standing headbutt, not diving. Snuka with more chops and headbutts, but Warlord catches him off an irish whip and hotshots him. Warlord chokes Snuka along the top rope at 8:29, and gets disqualified because he won't break the hold. That's one of the lamest finishes, ever. Anyway, Snuka chops Warlord out of the ring after the match. The end.   Match Analysis: That was probably one of the best one-on-one matches the Warlord has ever had. No, I'm not kidding, as it's surely the best one I'VE seen. *1/4.   After all that, the Gobbledygooker comes out and struts around ringside, after which he does a dosey-do with Howard Finkel. Ugh. ___________________   Here's what I was watching the show for, The Rockers vs. Power and Glory.   Blow-by-blow: Hercules is swinging the CHAIN in the ring, but one of the Rockers distracts him by attacking Roma, and it's on like Donkey Kong. The Rockers get the best of the brawl after a double superkick, and after Roma and Hercules huddle up, Roma starts the match with Jannetty. Roma rams Marty's head into the buckle, then Irish whips Marty into the ropes, at which point Marty tries a sunset flip. Roma tries to punch Marty, but misses, so his hand hits the canvas. Marty works his way around Roma, and tags Shawn. Shawn gives Roma an inverted atomic drop, then goes toward the turnbuckle for the 10 punch. Hercules tries to sneak up behind Shawn, but Shawn leaps off Roma and gives Hercules a crossbody. That was cool. Marty slingshots Shawn into both heels, and after they double superkick both heels, Power and Glory bail to the outside. The Rockers get booed a little, this being Madison Square Garden and all. Hercules comes in quickly with a clothesline, and kicks Shawn in the head. Power and Glory double team Shawn with the ref distracted, and afterwards while Shawn is running the ropes, Roma trips him. The heels double team Shawn again, then Hercules gives Shawn an elbow to the head. Roma beats up Shawn with the referee distracted, then Hercules misses a charge toward the corner. Marty tags in, and comes off the top rope with a double axhandle. Shawn tags in and does the same, and Hercules receives a double back elbow from the Rockers. Marty rams Herc's face into the canvas, then takes him over with an armdrag. Marty applies a short-arm scissor, as the Rockers begin to work over the arms of both their opponents. They armdrag Roma and Hercules a whole bunch, and after the last armdrag of that sequence, Shawn tags in as Marty gives Roma a droptoehold, and Shawn gives him an elbowdrop for 2. Shawn with another armdrag as he tags in Marty, and they both work over Roma's arm, then chop him. Marty with the last armdrag of the match, and as Marty runs the ropes a bit after, Hercules clobbers him in the back of his head. Hercules tags in and rams Marty's head into the turnbuckle, then gives Roma a turn at doing the same. He can't though, and Marty clotheslines him while coming out of the corner. Shawn tags in, and gives Roma a back elbow. While running the ropes, Hercules pulls down the top rope, which sends Shawn to the outside. I've noticed that Power and Glory are both fond of those sorts of spots. Roma rams Shawn's back into the apron after Hercules distracts the referee, and for whatever reason, the crowd isn't particularly fond of this match. I don't know why, it's really good. Roma gives Shawn a bodyslam outside the ring, then on the inside, Hercules whips Shawn into the buckle, and Shawn goes upside down. Hercules poses, and then gives Shawn a bearhug. Shawn won't quit, but Herc brings him toward his corner. Guess he wants to beat him into submission, harharhar. Hercules sets Shawn on the top rope for either a superplex or POWERPLEX, but as he goes up, the 2nd rope breaks. Dunno whether that was intentional or not. It's BIZAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRE. Hot tag Marty, and Marty gives Roma a back elbow and kneelift. Roma misses a charge toward Marty, and a Marty clothesline gets 2. Hercules tosses Shawn out, and Marty gives Hercules a small package. Roma turns it over to put Herc on top, and then Shawn does the same to put Marty on top. The Rockers get a 2 count, then double slam Hercules. The Rockers get a ROCKET LAUNCHER, but during the count, the bell rings, at 21:16. It's a timelimit draw. Boo. Both teams fight after the bell, but Power and Glory retreat. They throw a few chairs into the ring, but the Rockers avoid them, then sit down in them   Match Analysis: Very, very good. Not as good as Rockers/Orient Express from Rumble '91, but still good. ***1/4, and I added a 1/4 because the rope fell off. Just because I can, and it was definitely good enough to warrant it. The fans should have been ashamed, there was little pop for a very good match. ___________________   Here's a pissbreak match, Greg Valentine w/Jimmy Hart vs. Saba Simba. HEY, THAT'S TONY ATLAS!   Blow-by-blow: What fool wouldn't know it was Tony in the first place? I think the internet rumor about that being the reason Saba Simba didn't last long is bunk. Atlas is one of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen. Anyway, Simba pushes Valentine to the canvas, and armdrags him. Valentine chops Simba, but misses an elbowdrop. Simba chops back, and gives Valentine an UGLY heel kick. It was like Booker T's scissor kick, but Atlas just tapped Valentine with his heel and didn't go to the canvas. Awful. Valentine bails to the outside, and back inside, applies a chinlock. Simba gives Valentine a shoulderblock, but afterwards, is dumped to the outside. Simba comes back in the ring quickly, and clotheslines Valentine. The Hammer regains control, and works on Simba's leg. He tries to slam Simba, but can't. Simba is already blown up, 5 minutes in, if that at all. Just terrible. Valentine goes to a sloppy bow-and-arrow, which confirms my suspicion. Simba is just lying there. Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Simba kicks him away. Out of respect for Atlas, I call him Simba. It's easier to type than Atlas, for some reason. Valentine gives Simba an elbow, and a fistdrop for 2. Simba chops Valentine, then rams his head into 3 turnbuckles. Valentine gets headbutted, and after the two combatants lock up, Valentine pushes the referee for some reason. So, Simba wins by DQ, at 8:28. Valentine holds Simba in place for Jimmy Hart to hit Simba with the guitar, but instead, he hits Valentine on accident. I think Valentine was bleeding before the guitar shot, but anyhow...Valentine's pissed off. Hart begs Greg not to hit him, then runs away. This was probably the loudest part of the entire show.   Match Analysis: Awful. -1/2*. I almost started crying. Like I said, Atlas is one of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen. Valentine could have had a better match with El Gigante. ___________________   It's Hulk Hogan and Tugboat against Earthquake and Dino Bravo w/Jimmy Hart. I don't know why they had to bring Tugboat and Bravo into the mix during the Hogan/Quake program, but anyway. I hated Bravo, and still can't stand watching him.   Blow-by-blow: Hogan and Bravo start the match, and they both push each other into the corner. Hogan gets a backdrop and atomic drop, then both Hogan and Tugboat beat Bravo up. Tugboat tags in, and the babyfaces give Bravo a double back elbow. Hogan tags in, with a double axhandle off the top rope. He gives Bravo a rake to the eyes, and rams him into the buckle, tagging Tugboat in. Double big boot is on the menu for Bravo, which puts Bravo outside, but Bravo comes back in with a boot of his own. After an inverted atomic drop, Earthquake tags in. Earthquake misses an elbowdrop, so Hogan tags back in. Right hands for Quake follow, and Bravo gets slammed. Then Quake gets slammed, and clotheslined. HULKAMANIA'S RUNNIN' WILD BROTHER. Tugboat tags in, and avalanches Quake. A clothesline follows, but as 'Boat is about to do another, Bravo hits him with Hart's megaphone. Earthquake tags Bravo, and Bravo's pin gets a 2 count. Bravo spits on Hogan, then tags in Quake. Bravo and Quake clothesline Tugboat after Earthquake tags in, and a big splash by Quake gets 2, only cause Hogan broke up the pin. Quake goes to the chinlock, but that doesn't last long, thankfully. Earthquake takes Tugboat down, and tags in Bravo. Fake hot tag follows (you know, where the ref is distracted and doesn't see the tag), so Quake and Bravo give Tugboat a double slam. It's time for the ASS SPLASH, but Hogan gives Quake a clothesline as Quake was running the ropes. Tag Hogan, and Bravo follows, as Hogan goes into his routine, after the big boot, he rolls Bravo up for the 3 count at 9:19. Strange finish, isn't it. Tugboat and Hogan pose for a while, and then, out of nowhere, Earthquake comes back to the ring, and hits Hogan with a chair; at the same time, Jimmy Hart throws chalk into the eyes of Tugboat. Quake gives Hogan an ASS SPLASH, and Hogan's down for the count. He won't do a stretcher job, though, so Tugboat helps him to the back. Hogan's a man's man.   Match Analysis: Short and inoffensive, *. That was as good as we could have hoped for. ___________________   Ted DiBiase had knee surgery, so Virgil will take his place in this bout against the Texas Tornado.   Blow-by-blow: Kerry's so strung out it's ridiculous. He never met a drug he didn't like. Virgil sends Kerry outside after a few clubbing blows to the back, and then rams him into the stairs. Tornado blocks a right hand, and hiptosses Virgil out. Into the stairs Virgil goes, and Virgil doesn't come into the ring for about 2 minutes. Goodness. Tornado makes him come in, and then tosses him into the buckle, where he misses a charge. Virgil applies an armbar, and rakes Kerry in the eyes. Kerry gets two clotheslines and a backdrop, so Virgil begs for forgiveness. Kerry gets a suplex and another backdrop, which leads to a Boston Crab. The CLAW follows, but Virgil makes the ropes. Kerry finishes the match with the DISCUSCUSCUSCUS punch at 7:55. After the match, Virgil offers to shake Kerry's hand, and Kerry shakes it.   Match Analysis: Not good at all. -1/2*. I'll never watch that match again, under any circumstances. Same level of suck as the Valentine/Simba match, hence the rating.   Jimmy Hart comes to the ring, and says Honky Tonk Man challenges Valentine to a match at the next MSG show. Well, Honky left the company, so it never happened. ___________________   In a seemingly impromptu partnership, Dusty Rhodes and Jim Duggan face Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan.   Blow-by-blow: Dusty's in the worst shape of his entire wrestling career, up to that point anyway. He really let himself go. Slaughter tries to grab Duggan's 2x4, but isn't able to. Dusty elbows Slaughter, and tags in Duggan. HOOOOOOOO, then he whips Slaughter into the corner, where Slaughter does that thing where he rams himself into the steel ringpost, catapulting himself to the floor. Adnan and Slaughter huddle up, and on the inside, Slaughter gets headbutted by Duggan. Guess their strategy didn't work. Duggan rams Slaughter's head into the turnbuckle, and Dusty tags in, and gets FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY JACK. Double punch on Slaughter, and Duggan comes back in. Duggan gives Slaughter a shoulderblock, and Adnan attempts to trip Duggan on an Irish whip. He doesn't, but Slaughter clotheslines Duggan over the top rope anyway. Adnan rams Duggan into the steel post, and Slaughter rams Duggan into the steps. Poor guy. Adnan tags in on the inside, and applies a HEAD VICE. That's no CRANIUM CRUSH. He rams Hacksaw into the buckle, and tags in Slaughter. Slaughter gets a backbreaker for 2, and a kneedrop for 2. He goes up top, but misses with a kneedrop. Dusty Rhodes tags in, and he has elbows for Slaughter. The babyfaces take turns beating up Slaughter, but Dusty misses a charge toward the turnbuckle. Slaughter elbows him, and applies the CAMEL CLUTCH. Duggan breaks it up, so Adnan sneaks around the outside of the ring and nails Duggan with the Iraqi flag. Duggan chases Adnan to the back, meanwhile, Slaughter applies the CAMEL CLUTCH, and it's over at 9:10. Slaughter keeps the hold applied after the bell, until Duggan chases him away. Poor Dusty.   Match Analysis: Nothing special. Is it wrong of me to say that I sorta enjoyed Slaughter in the "traitor heel" role? It probably is, but I don't care. I liked seeing Hogan beat him up, too. 1/2* ___________________   Now, we have a dream match of mine. Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Mr. Perfect for Perfect's Intercontinental Title. YES!!!   Blow-by-blow: Piper tosses his kilt at Perfect, then does the same with his shirt. The wrestlers go nose-to-nose with one another, until Roddy spits at Perfect. HERE WE GO, as Bobby Heenan would say. Perfect goes behind Piper, and Piper kicks him in the nuts. I love Piper in this cheating role, only he and a select few others, namely Eddie Guerrero, could pull it off. But when Eddie did it, it was comedy a lot of the time. When Piper does it, it's serious. Both men chop each other, and Piper chops Perfect out onto the announce table. The announce tables were situated up against the ring then, and they didn't break. Piper pulls Perfect in by the hair, and beels him. A slap to the face follows, and Perfect tries to go low. DOWN LOW. Piper blocks it, and throws Perfect out of the ring. Perfect oversells everything, but not to the point of ridiculousness. Piper puts Perfect into the guardrail, and hits him with a chair. I don't think that was in the plans, no sir. Perfect's ring attire is torn, and Piper tosses him into the ring by the remnants of it. Piper pokes Perfect in the eye, and hits him with a right hand for 2. A double clothesline follows, and both men are out. Perfect pulls off the turnbuckle pad once he gets up, and rams Piper into the exposed buckle. He's still woozy, so Perfect only gets a 2 count once he wakes up. Perfect goes for a FIELD GOAL, and it's good, twice. He laid into Piper with those kicks. Perfect gives Piper a standing dropkick, so they brawl on the outside. Gorilla's been surprisingly unbiased tonight, and it stays the same, even though Perfect hits Piper with a chair. Eye for an eye, one for one. Perfect goes for the sleeper, and gets a few 2 counts out of it. Once Piper powers out, he chin checks Perfect. Meaning that he grabbed Perfect by the head, and rammed the chin of Perfect into the top of his head. Perfect goes for a suplex after regaining control, but Piper falls on top of Perfect for a 2 count. Perfect gets a small package for 2, then both wrestlers trade kneelifts. Perfect goes for the PERFECTPLEX after a clothesline, and Roddy kicks out at 2. You just knew he wasn't jobbing. Piper gets a roll-up for 2, and Perfect backdrops Piper to the outside. Perfect follows, then tosses Piper back in. He wastes a bit of time, then goes to the top rope, WITHOUT entering the ring first. Piper shakes the ropes, and Perfect falls to the outside. Now, the bell rings. Mr. Perfect has been counted out at 12:38. Both men fight for control of the title, and Roddy is the one to get it. He swings the title at Perfect and misses, but he finally knocks Perfect out with the title. Piper then lies the title on the stomach of Perfect, as if to say, you can have it. For now.   Match Analysis: I wasn't disappointed. That match was FUN. **3/4. Definitely worth watching the show for. Piper's matches are fun when he has a foil that can make things believable. You stick him in there with a stiff, and it ain't gonna work. With Bad News Brown, although Bad News wasn't a stiff, it forced Piper to resort to "bad ass brawling tactics." He couldn't do his usual cheating thing, cause it wouldn't fit in with the way the match was supposed to go. That's why that feud didn't provide much in the way of great matches, whereas his matches with Bret and Perfect were very solid. They programmed around the circuit, and I bet a majority of the matches were fun. I bet the Flair vs. Piper blowoff at MSG a year later was fun too.   Anyway, that's the end of the show. Gorilla says the Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage will fight each other in a cage on the 21st of January. I'd like to see that. ___________________   Rating: Above-average. (Excellent, great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible) is the scale, and I needed to post it again so I don't have to look for it whenever I post a show. There was some awful stuff on this show, but the good outweighed it.   Best Match: Power and Glory vs. The Rockers   Worst Match: Greg Valentine vs. Saba Simba   Loudest Sound: When Valentine was going to turn on Jimmy Hart, and the heat during the Piper/Perfect match.   No Sound: Virgil and Saba Simba. The crowd just didn't care. ___________________   Nitro will be up next, then RAW.
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Review: WWF from Boston Garden; 3/18/1989.

Tony and Lord Alfred are sitting at ringside for this much awaited event... ___________________   First match is the Young Stallions vs. Los Conquistadors.   - The Conquistadors constant switching in and out is always nice. But I'm not interested in the match at all. It's an okay match, I just don't care. A Roma missile dropkick leads to the pinfall victory for the Young Stallions at 14:58. **. ___________________   Judy Martin vs. Rockin' Robin is teh fast forward time. Sorry. ___________________   Mr. Perfect vs. Ronnie Garvin is the next bout.   - I've never seen Garvin so juiced up. Most everyone hit the juice real hard once they went up north, so I'm not surprised. Lots of chop trading and overselling. And chinlocks!   - GARVIN STOMP. Yeah, that's lame. Perfect reverses a Garvin crossbody from the top for the win at 14:23. *1/2. Too much chinlocking. ___________________   Leaping Lanny Poffo read us a WrestleMania V promo...he's gone heel now! Got quite a bit of heat. ___________________   The Brainbusters vs. The Rockers is up...   - Oh God, what a match this is going to be. Stereo dropkicks by the Rockers! After Arn's in for oh, about ten minutes, Tully tags in, and the Rockers give them stereo FIGURE-FOURS!   - Tony calling a match with Tully and Arn involved is TOO NWA for me. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Jannetty's been in for a really long time. Once Shawn makes the tag and the Rockers go on a roll, Shawn hits a big splash from Marty's shoulders onto Tully, but Arn pulls the referee out. So, the Brainbusters get disqualified at 22:27. What a lengthy match. Good stuff, but lacking oomph. And a finish. I believe their match at MSG that's on the Shawn DVD was better. ***1/2. ___________________   The Brooklyn Brawler is set to face The Red Rooster.   - Poor Terry Taylor. Brawler teased leaving, but, you know, he came back. Chinlocks are far too numerous in this bout, and seeing as the crowd didn't care in the first place, I don't blame the two for their use of them. Taylor wins with a backslide at 11:22. Yes, a backslide. *. ___________________   Bad News Brown vs. Hercules looks, um, strange.   - Yeah, strange. Bad News would've been a good dude to use during the Attitude Era. Bad News uses weapons, like the bell and a wooden chair. Both men fly to the outside, that's a double countout at 6:04. Bad News dumped Hercules to the outside, but the chain scared Bad News away. Throwaway match. 1/2*. ___________________   The Rougeau Brothers and Dino Bravo w/Frenchy Martin are set to face Jim Duggan and the Bushwhackers.   - All American Boys! Love that song. However, oh God, the Bushwhackers. Could've done without them. I hate these comedy matches, but this one has a lot more serious wrestling. Duggan cleans house, then hits Raymond with the 2x4, allowing Butch to pick up the pinfall victory at 11:35. 3/4*. ___________________   Big Bossman w/Slick is set to take on Hulk Hogan inside of a Steel Cage.   - Great main. Fast action early, as Slick tosses Bossman a chain. Referee opened the door to check both guys after the chainshot, and Hogan's up at 9. Hogan can't get through the door, so he suplexes Bossman instead. Hogan hits Bossman with the chain, and he's busted wide open. You could see the marks from Bossman's bladejob earlier in the day. Quite clearly! Big legdrop, up the cage, but Slick's holding on tight to Hogan's leg. Hogan kicks him away, and crotches Bossman on the top. He takes Slick's handcuffs, handcuffs Bossman to the top rope, and Hogan goes over and out for the win at 9:17. Hogan hits Bossman with the ringbell and tosses Slick into the cage. Hogan poses in the ring, and the show's over.   Their match earlier in the day at MSG was better. I remember it from an old Hulkamania video I rented at the old videostore a long time back. I could be mistaken, but I am 100% sure that match had a Hogan superplex from the top of the cage. This one was only ***. I don't know how they were able to run both MSG and Boston Garden in one day. Crazy. All the matches had the same winner, and in the case of Bad News/Hercules, the same double countout. ___________________   Rating: Good. Too much crud to wade through, but having two *** matches on a show from the 80's is a positive.   Best Segment: I love cage matches. Rockers/Busters was better, but cage matches are my favorite. So the main event. AGAIN.   Worst Segment: Bad News vs. Hercules really sucked. ___________________   ECW time next time. Living Dangerously 1999.
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Review: WWF Badd Blood, from St. Louis, Missouri, 10/5/97.

I'm eagerly awaiting this one, and the reasons are obvious. The midget match is cut out, and that's good. I don't want to watch that trash. The prematch section is gone forever. It'll be integrated into the regular review of the match. ___________________   From the Kiel Center in St. Louis, this is Badd Blood 1997. And the hosts are Vince, JR, and the King. No, not me. ___________________   We start this pay-per-view with a handicap match. It's The Nation of Domination which consists of Kama Mustafa, Rocky Miavia and D'Lo Brown vs. The Legion of Doom, Animal and Hawk.   Blow-by-blow: We learn before the match that Ken Shamrock was supposed to be on the good guy side, but he had some "internal injuries" occur during a bout with Faarooq. That's a good thing, IMO. Hawk and D'Lo start, and D'Lo does a shoulderblock that inflicts no damage to Hawk. Hawk with a hipblock and dropkick, and then a big boot and clothesline leads Rocky to decide that he wants a piece of Hawk. However, the crowd begins to chant "Rocky Sucks," so he bails out of the ring and covers his ears. Rocky puts Animal into the buckle, and Animal comes out with a flying shoulderblock. Hawk tags in, and hits Rocky with a double axhandle from the 2nd rope. Kama comes in, and misses a charge to the buckle. Hawk with an enziguri, and Animal comes in with a powerslam. Rocky with a DDT as he interferes, and Kama with a karate kick to Animal. Animal gets tosses out, and the rest of NOD attack. D'Lo tags in, and prevents Animal from getting to his corner. D'Lo with a snapmare and two legdrops that get a 2 count, after that, he tags Rocky in. Rocky applies a chinlock, and you can just tell that the guy is a natural heel. Big things to come for him....and Rocky stomps a mudhole in Animal. Rocky punches him in the nuts with the referee distracted, and that gets a 2 count. Kama tags in and misses a charge, and Hawk gets a false hot tag. He can't come in, and on his way out of the ring, D'Lo comes in with the Lo'Down. Rocky covers and gets two. Animal with a clothesline now, and there's the tag to Hawk. Hawk with a powerslam to Rocky and a neckbreaker to D'Lo, and they dump Kama out of the ring. Animal and Hawk both with clotheslines, and they lift Rocky up for the Doomsday Device. Faarooq comes out as a distraction, and Rocky gives Hawk the ROCK BOTTOM for the pinfall at 12:19.   Match Analysis: I didn't think it was very good, and for two reasons. First, the heels were really green, or in the case of Kama, just not very good. Secondly, LOD were so far deteriorated that it was hard for them to have a decent match with anyone. *1/2. ___________________   The next match is for the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Titles. The challengers, accompanied by Uncle Cletus, are the Godwinns. The champions are the Headbangers, Mosh and Thrasher.   Blow-by-blow: Sunny's the guest ring announcer, and the tag titles are FAR from what they would become less than a year later. Some of you may know Uncle Cletus as Dirty White Boy from SMW, or T.L. Hopper. The Godwinns get beat up by the Headbangers, so they leave the ring, and once they come back in, it happens again. Mosh rana's Phineas out to the floor, and Thrasher comes off the apron with one of the ugliest rana's you'll ever see on Henry. Mosh with a springboard body press to the outside, and the Headbangers do a tag team maneuver that nearly breaks the neck of Phineas. The cover gets two, and Thrasher and Henry tag in. A Thrasher rollup gets a 1 count, and he follows that with a dropkick. Henry bails, so both teams switch, as the Headbangers double team Phineas with that hop over the other move that the World's Greatest Tag Team does or used to do, I don't know if they're still a team. This match is really poor, so I'll get to the end. Mosh finally gets the hot tag and gives Phineas a BUTT-bump. The Headbangers then hit Cletus, and slam Phineas. However, Mosh comes off the top in a Bombs Away attempt, and gets powerbombed by Phineas. It gets a 3 count at 12:17. Cletus kept Thrasher from breaking up the pinfall, so the win wasn't clean. After the match, the Godwinns beat up the Headbangers. Tim White says that if they don't leave, they'll lose their newly won titles. So they leave.   Match Analysis: Unbelievably poor match. The crowd was dead, and the less said, the better. 1/2*. ___________________   Now we have a video package that shows how out of control Stone Cold Steve Austin is, and afterward, Owen says he's going to be getting the Intercontinental Title back tonight. ___________________   A legends ceremony follows, and the men brought out are Gene Kiniski, Jack Brisco, Dory Funk Jr., Harley Race, Terry Funk, Sam Muchnick, and Lou Thesz. Pretty good lineup of guys, if I say so myself. ___________________   Michael Hayes (fuck that Dok Hendrix crap) is with the Nation of Domination, and Faarooq says Owen is going to get his ass kicked. Strong words. Better be able to back them up. Vince has a few words to say about Brian Pillman's death, and he doesn't say much. Seems like he knew the cause wouldn't be so good for Brian's family to know. ___________________   And now, we have the final match of the Intercontinental Championship tournament. It's Faarooq vs. Owen Hart.   Blow-by-blow: Owen's wearing an Owen 3:16 shirt, and Stone Cold Steve Austin is supposed to present the Intercontinental Title to the winner of this match. Austin takes the broadcast headset away from Vince and says that the Owen 3:16 shirt is nothing but cheap heat. He said it like he really meant it, in shoot fashion. Who knows if it was. Faarooq with a shoulderblock and Owen follows it with a headlock, and then a leg lariat after being thrown into the ropes. Owen works on the left leg with assorted offense, namely a leg grapevine and kneedrop to the leg, as Austin makes his way to each commentary table and has some words for the respective announcers. The WWF built him up PERFECTLY. A Faarooq backbreaker gets two and Faarooq attempts a bodyslam, but Owen falls on him for 2. Faarooq with a falldown slam, but he misses a legdrop from the 2nd rope. Owen tries the SHARPSHOOTER but he can't get it, and Faarooq gets a powerslam for 2. Jim Neidhart comes out to support Owen, but Faarooq hits a spinebuster. Fortunately, that only gets a two count. And again, fortunately for Owen, Austin hits Faarooq with the Intercontinental Belt, and Owen pins Faarooq for the win at 7:15. Austin tosses the title to Owen and leaves.   Match Analysis: Austin was hilarious, but his presence at ringside took away from the match. The match already had enough going against it, both men were heels. *. In a different situation, I think these two could have put together a decent match. ___________________   The next match is filler because of Pillman's death, but it's Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse. In truth, it's kinda hard to pay attention. Mostly because the Boricuas chinlock Chainz to death. There should never be a chinlock in an 8 man tag match. WHY THE FUCK are you resting? Just tag out or work the guy over with some moves. Anyway, Crush finishes with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker at 9:10. That's the first babyface victory of the night. The crowd likes them, even if they weren't supposed to be babyfaces. Who knows. The whole GANG WARZ thing was fuckin' stupid to begin with. DUD. ___________________   This match is a FLAG MATCH, and it's The Patriot and Vader representing the United States vs. The British Bulldog and the WWF Champion Bret Hart, representing Canada. In this flag match, due to the injuries of all participants, the Flag Match can be won by pinfall or submission.   Blow-by-blow: Before the match, Vader calls the "Best there is, best there was and the best there ever will be" slogan BULLSHIT, Vince apologizes soon after, and now we have our match. The Patriot hits Bret with the American flag that he brought to the ring, and Vader hits Bret with the Canadian flag that Bret brought to the ring. Now the Hart Foundation returns the favor, and the American flag breaks as the Patriot is being hit with it. The babyfaces get in the ring as the heels regroup, and why aren't they going for the flag? Davey and the Patriot start, as the Patriot gets a suplex, hiptoss and an ugly backdrop. Vader comes in with a shoulderblock, and Bret tags in as well. A short-arm clothesline from Vader follows, and Bulldog clotheslines Vader from the ring apron. Bret with a russian leg sweep on Vader and he goes for the flag, but Vader hits him low. Down low. Vader sits on Bret after Bret tries a sunset flip, and that gets two. Bulldog and Patriot come in, and a Patriot dropkick gets 2. Patriot slams Davey and tries for the flag, but he can't get there. Following that, Bret applies the ringpost figure-4 on The Patriot. And it's perfectly legal too. Bret then slams Patriot, and headbutts him in the nuts. Bret gets the SHARPSHOOTER on Patriot, but Patriot reverses it. A Bulldog clothesline from behind ends that, but all men are in one corner and Patriot tries to climb over all them in order to get the flag. But he can't. Vader runs into an opponent for a 2 count, and then gets a back suplex on Davey. Vader with a splash for two, and Davey goes to the chinlock. Bret comes in with a back suplex and THE SHARPSHOOTER, but Patriot breaks it up. Vader goes for the SHARPSHOOTER but he can't get it, so he tags the Patriot in. The Patriot applies the figure-four, but Bret gets in a position to tag the Bulldog. Bulldog with a delayed vertical suplex for 2, and the Patriot gets a poweslam for two. Bret kicks Patriot in the back and gets a suplex, and then he goes for the flag. Vader stops him and tags in, slams Bret, and goes for a MOONSAULT. He misses the moonsault but lands on his feet, and Vader dumps Bret to the floor. Bret hits both the Patriot and Vader with the ring bell, and we go back in. Bret with an elbow from the 2nd rope and legdrop, and then a DDT for 2. Vader clotheslines both heels and Patriot comes in. He gets the UNCLE SLAM for a 2 count and a fan comes in the ring. Nobody goes Eddie Guerrero and punches him though, so Vader goes up for the VADER BOMB, and gets it. However, a bit of a scrum ensues, and Bret reverses a Patriot rollup for the pinfall at 21:16.   Match Analysis: It was kinda slow, and the Patriot just isn't very good. As with all the other matches so far, no heat. Kinda sad to say that when you have a 21,000+ crowd. Rating is **, and I'm being kind. ___________________   Michael Hayes is with HBK, and he says that nobody, NOBODY can beat the SHOWSTOPPA. ___________________   And now, we have the MAIN EVENT. It's the first EVER Hell in a Cell match, and it's for the #1 contenders spot and a WWF Title match at Survivor Series. And we all know what happened there. It's the European Champion, The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker. The match is not for the European Championship...   Blow-by-blow: The Cell is on its way down, and HHH, Rick Rude and Chyna make their way out of the ring. They aren't allowed in, see. Commissioner Slaughter checks under the ring, and it's all good. Taker enters and Shawn plays the 'scared as shit' role real well, as he runs away. Shawn gets to the ring, and Taker whips him hard into the buckle, and Shawn goes upside down. Shawn gets clotheslined for two, and Taker goes OLD SCHOOL. Taker with a slam and legdrop for 2, and a HUGE backdrop has Shawn's feet touching the roof of the Cell. Taker just THROWS Shawn out of the ring and to the floor, and the bump looked like it hurt. Shawn tries to climb the wall on the inside to get away from Taker, and gets pulled down to the ground by Taker. Taker tosses Shawn into the cage and clotheslines him....and then he does it again. Taker picks up HBK in powerbomb position, but Shawn traps him against the Cell and punches him. Taker follows with some rights and lefts to the body of Shawn, and he picks him up and rams him from Cell to post, Cell to post. Shawn tosses Taker into the Cell, but Taker no-sells it and clotheslines Shawn. Into the stairs Shawn goes, and Taker chokes him. Taker misses a charge toward the Cell though, and Shawn gets a bit of control. Shawn with a TOPE through the ropes, and he follows that up by climbing the inside wall of the Cell and giving Taker an elbow drop. Shawn with a flying clothesline off the ring apron, and he grabs the steel stairs and rams them into the back of Taker. Then, Shawn PILEDRIVES Taker on the steps, and Shawn jumps from the top rope onto Taker with a double axhandle. Shawn grabs a chair from under the ring (remember, that started their feud) and hits Taker twice in the back with it. The cover gets a 2 count, and Taker fights back with a backdrop that puts Shawn on the floor. Shawn punches Flash Funk a cameraman, and the announcers apologize to the family of the cameraman. Uh-huh. Shawn does his flying forearm and kip-up that he always does, and now there's help for the cameraman. So the Cell door opens. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, and Taker no-sells Sweet Chin Music. Shawn sees the door open, and he's gone. Shawn gets slingshot into the cage and blades, and Shawn gets his face rammed into the cage a couple of times. Shawn climbs up the Cell, and the crowd goes nuts. Taker backdrops him up there after a Shawn piledriver attempt, and Taker press slams him. Shawn climbs part way down, and Taker steps on his hand until he falls off, and through the Spanish Announce Table. Wow. Pre-KotR 98, that IS THE big WWF bump. Taker biel's Shawn onto the French table, and press slams him off it to the floor. HBK is bleeding everywhere, as Taker drags him back into the Cell, and into the ring. Taker chokeslams Shawn from the TOP ROPE into the ring, and gets a chair of his own. He hits Shawn in the head with it, and signals for the TOMBSTONE. But the lights go out. AND THAT'S GOTTA BE KANE. HE RIPS THE DOOR OFF THE HINGES, THROWS HEBNER INTO THE CELL WALL, his pyro goes off, he STARES DOWN UT, and TOMBSTONES HIM. Shawn drags his dead carcass over to Taker, and Hebner counts what has to be the slowest 3 count of all time at 29:54, so Shawn gets the Title Match at Survivor Series. Literally, Shawn came out of a pool of his own blood. DX comes to the ring and carries Shawn out of the ring, and backstage. Shawn didn't move the whole time, so I meant it when I said carried.   That's the end of the show!   Match Analysis: This is my favorite match. Shawn bumped like a madman for Taker, so it's no wonder he had all that back trouble a little bit down the road. The ending is flawed because of Kane having music, which he shouldn't have. It didn't make sense for Kane to have music or pyro. I don't care, though. It's a ***** match. At this point, it's near impossible for Shawn to have a bad match. Show me a bad Shawn PPV match from the end of 1992 to the end of his run in 1998. I doubt you can. I don't think he's the best worker of all time although he's definitely top 5, but I'm able to look past all the wrong things he did in the past. Politicking and stuff, mostly. All people wanting to wrestle should watch this match and take notes. And when I said that the ONO match was Taker's best, I meant it was his best straight wrestling match. This is obviously his best match. ___________________   This show was a DOG. D-O-G. Terrible until the main event, and all the heels won, except for one tweener group. If not for the main event, it's one of the worst WWF PPV's of all time. IMO.   Rating: Decent. Only because of Hell in a Cel.l   Best Match: Hell in a Cell, Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker.   Worst Match: Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Los Boricuas.   Loudest Sound: Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, and Rocky Miavia. Rocky was hated...   No sound: Headbangers and the Godwinns. ___________________   That's it, I might do a review tomorrow, and if I do, it'll be posted at night. I get a content update tonight, but the Kings are playing, so I'm not watching anything. Until then...
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Review: WWE Vengeance 2007, from Houston, Texas; 6/24/2007.

Okay, gotta get this one out of the way. Looks good. ___________________   Barry Windham and Mike Rotundaoaoaoaoaoaoa are introduced, prior to the Hardy Boys vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Titles.   - Matt and Jeff are obviously very over. Duh. Legwork on Matt begins the heat period. Actually, the no heat period. Funny how I'm watching this and Murdoch was just released. I'm indifferent to that news.   - Jeff tagged in, cleaned house, but Murdoch pushed him off the top rope. Cade pins Jeff after a sky high at 8:52. **. Okay match. ___________________   King Booker and Queen Sharmell are in the back...I wasn't watching during the whole King Booker thing, but his accent is hilarious. ___________________   We see an Eddie Guerrero video to fit in with the whole Night of Champions theme, then we've got Jimmy Wang Yang challenging for Chavo Guerrero's Cruiserweight Title.   - Another video was shown during the entrances, this one being a...DEAN MALENKO video. We saw him in the back as well, then, the match begins. Yang's gimmick is shit.   - Good back and forth action. Much aerial stuff, and Chavo hipblocking Yang into the buckle was pretty noice. Seems like we're building to a good ending.   - Yang misses a moonsault, but counters a Gory Bomb as well, so he doesn't get beaten as quickly. He still loses of course, after a frog splash to the back by Chavo at 9:15. ***1/4, highly entertaining, most of all, had a clean finish and no dumbness. Yeah, no dumbness. ___________________   JR talks about the Vince McMahon blown up limo thing, and then we watch a video. Worst angle ever. Afterward, we see that there's a poll on WWE.com asking us who did it. Paul London's inclusion was LOL worthy. ___________________   Prior to CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro for the vacant ECW Title, we got to see a Tazz highlight package. Oh wait, Taz. Not Tazz.   - Not much heat, cause, you know, we're in Houston. Bad Blood 2003 didn't have the noisiest crowd either.   - No GO TO SLEEP, but a Nitro swinging neckbreaker picks up the victory at 8:02. Okay. *1/2. Drab match, not a finish with impact...something I could've done without. Both seemed disinterested. ___________________   Orton and Foley do a ridiculous fake tension bit in the back, honest to God, this is WWE at its worst. I don't buy segments like this. Nobody does. The best way to get through to the fans is have guys take chairshot after chairshot and have the wrestler delivering the chairshots lick the blood of his opponent, BJ Penn style. Or choke them out into unconsciousness while the officials stand aside because they're so terrified it'll happen to them. The pull-apart bullshit sucks, and so does trading barbs in the back. Why talk when you're standing close enough to kick the guy's ass? Makes no sense. Anyway, WWE's attempts at drama constantly keep me from becoming interested in their product. Brutal stuff. ___________________   Ricky Steamboat is introduced, prior to Umaga vs. Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Championship.   - Too many champions going out first. Santino shakes Steamboat's hand prior to the contest. Nice touch. I guess I'll see how bad Santino is in ring, given that this will be longer than the usual two minute RAW match. Oh, wait. Guess not! Umaga gets DQ'd for excessive punching at 2:35. What the fuck? DUD thanks to that finish. Umaga squashes Santino after the bell. Obviously that was going to happen. ___________________   Some dude says that Vince McMahon's "death" is under investigation...for fuck's sake. ___________________   Magnum TA's in the crowd, as we watch Ric Flair vs. MVP for the United States Championship.   - MVP and Magnum did a bit of a faceoff. Nice touch there. A few elbows from MVP opened Flair up, but even some color couldn't save this match. It's not good. MVP pokes Flair in the eye, and gives him the PLAYMAKER, for the pinfall victory at 8:41. *. Really bad, but I feel obligated to give a star for Flair. But bad, like I said. ___________________   Todd Grisham is with John Cena, who then argues with Edge. That was far better than the Orton/Foley segment. Anything's better than talking low and sounding like it's the most serious moment of your life. Which it is not. ___________________   Rick Martel(!) and Tony Garea are in the crowd, to watch Jimmy Snuka and Sgt. Slaughter face Deuce and Domino w/Cherry for the WWE Tag Team Titles.   - Heels make fun of Martel and Garea prior to the match. Always nice to see Snuka though. If Snuka comes off the top, I'll mark.   - Problem is, Snuka can't run the ropes. Poor guy. No heat, bringing me to my next point. Only do shows with legends on them in the Northeast, St. Louis, or Chicago. WrestleMania fits too. Otherwise, don't. At least Slaughter can actually work. However, Snuka goes to the top, and his son reverses the crossbody for the win at 6:30. Nice touch. 1/2*. Heels attack afterward, until Martel and Garea make the save. ___________________   Batista vs. Edge is a Last Chance World Heavyweight Title Match. Batista does not win, he does not get another shot at Edge while he's champion.   - Harley Race is in the crowd. Yeah, boy.   - Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Michael Cole's little nicknames for everyone? "Smackdown's Resident Redneck!" "The Ultimate Opportunist!" Hate that fucking guy. Not feeling this show, either. These two tried the rasslin for a little too long. Gotta brawl, yo.   - Business picked up after a little while, but Edge lowblowed Batista for the DQ at 12:47. **1/4. Dull all around.   Wait a second, Teddy Long comes out, and restarts the match. Fooled me. If Edge gets disqualified, he loses his title.   - So, uh, Edge speared Batista really early, but couldn't get the win. Batista gives Edge a powerbomb on the floor, but he gets counted out at 2:07. I must take something off on principle. Final rating for the match is *3/4. Lame ass match. Batista Bomb after the match...okay. ___________________   Candice Michelle vs. Melina for the Women's Title...   - Good luck with this match. Terrible stuff. Candice wins with a spinwheel kick at 4:20. DUD. New champ, btw. ___________________   Prior to this match, JBL wanted recognition. The ring announcer read a speech, and then, we've got... ___________________   Bobby Lashley vs. Mick Foley vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker w/Queen Sharmell vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship. Non elimination, first man to get a decision wins. No DQ, no countout.   - Lashley stole Brock's ring jump explosives. Gay. Booker's pirouetting is so funny. LOL stuff. No heat at all for the entrances...I can't take it anymore.   - Everyone wants to beat up Orton. They do, and then Lashley does a TOPE onto everyone. Impressive. I don't like how they tease Lashley vs. Cena. Lashley is not Brock Lesnar.   - There's action all over the place, which heats the crowd up. Lashley gets F-U'd through a table, and after a while, Foley hits Lashley, Booker, and Cena with a chair. Orton stops Foley and punts him, good thing, he was next. Confusion ensues, and Cena hits the F-U on Foley for the win at 10:08. Biggest no duh of all the time. No question Foley was taking the fall. ***1/2. Was fun, but way too short to matter. Would've been better if longer. Cena up against the odds is worn out. ___________________   Rating: Poor. Trying to be nice, but can't rate the show highly. It sucked. Period.   Best Segment: Basically every moment that the legends were on screen. Had I watched it live, would've been total mark time.   Worst Segment: Women's match. Nothing redeemable at all. ___________________   Boston show from March 1989 is next. Unfortunately this show wasn't as good as it looked.
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Review: WWE Unforgiven 2007, from Memphis, Tennessee, 9/16/2007.

Another let's get this out of the way show. I have no idea what to expect. The video to open the show is very cool, and very professional looking. Even better than the ones they used to have during the Attitude Era. ___________________   The first match, is Elijah Burke vs. CM Punk, for Punk's ECW Championship. Yeah, I'm one of those people that doesn't like the use of the ECW name. At all. I don't even know who this Elijah Burke guy is...and I'll be saying that a lot during the show.   Blow-by-blow: Punk pushes Burke, and they both go onto the mat, obviously for some mat wrestling. Burke with the go-behind, but Punk bridges out, and gives Burke a droptoehold. Punk applies a short arm scissor, but Burke gets into the ropes. Buke with an elbow to Punk, but he misses a charge, and gets kicked. Punk hits Burke in the gut, and gives him a russian leg sweep for 2. Punk chops him and kicks him, before giving him a snapmare and kicking him in the back. Punk gives Burke a backbreaker for 2, and on an Irish whip to the corner, Burke blows the reversal, tripping over Punk's feet. Didn't fall down, though. Burke rams Punk's head into the mat, which gets a 2 count. He gives Punk some of his own medicine, with a kick to Punk's back. Burke gives Punk a surfboard, until Punk kicks him. Punk gives Burke a bulldog, and slingshots from the apron back into the ring with a clothesline, for 2. Burke then pulls Punk out to the floor, and rams Punk into the apron. On the inside, a cover gets 2, and Burke goes for a Boston crab, which he gets. Punk's facial expressions are VERY good. Punk reaches the ropes, so Burke decides he needs to give him 2 german suplexes, consecutively. Burke gives Punk an STO, which gets a 2 count. Burke applies this leglock thing, I don't know what it's called. It looks cool, though. Punk rolls through the hold, but gets kicked twice. For some reason Burke grabs Punk's leg, and Punk gives him an enziguri. That made no fuckin' sense, on Burke's part. Burke gives Punk an uppercut for 2, but stalls around, and gets rolled up by Punk for 3 at 11:52.   Match Analysis: It's known I don't like that finish, but it didn't bother me this time. It was solid, and I don't know if this Burke guy is supposed to be a good worker, because it really seemed like Punk was leading him along. It's **, and a good opener. ___________________   Oh noes, partners who don't like each other. It's the WWE Tag Team Champions, Matt Hardy and MVP vs. Deuce and Domino w/Cherry. Cherry = yum, from what I see.   Blow-by-blow: I like MVP's entrance, and I got kinda sad when I found out the "internet" part of Hardy's entrance was gone. Boo. Deuce and Domino have no heat...at all. Their whole thing is so corny, I kinda like it. MVP and Hardy argue, and I guess Hardy decides he's going to start the match, but MVP slaps Hardy on the back, tagging in. Domino and MVP begin the match, as MVP gives Domino an armdrag, and a bodyslam, before tagging in. Hardy gives Deuce an armdrag and a bodyslam, then a swinging neckbreaker. So Hardy's better, he did more. I'm enjoying the interaction between the two champions. MVP tags in and gives Deuce a chop and bulldog, and goes to the 2nd rope, for that Matt Hardy elbowdrop. Hardy's pissed though, and keeps him from doing it. He doesn't care for the imitation. Hardy and Domino tag in, and Domino misses a charge to the buckle. Hardy slams him, then does an awful impression of the BALLIN! elbow, and lastly gives him the REAL VERSION(1UUUUUUH) of that move, for 2. Deuce pulls Hardy's hair, then tags in. Knee to the face for 1, and he gives Hardy a cobra clutch. Hey. Deuce misses a charge to the corner, and gets rolled up by Hardy for 2. Domino comes in and slams Hardy, then gets a legdrop for 2. He rams Hardy into the buckle, then tags in Deuce again. Deuce applies an armbar, and Cherry grabs Hardy's leg during his comeback, keeping him from making the tag. Hardy still gives Deuce the SIDE EFFECT, but Deuce quickly tags in Domino, who keeps Hardy from tagging MVP, by hitting MVP. MVP's pissed off about getting hit, and goes back to the entranceway. Deuce and Domino do this cool double team that would look like the Powerplex if done at the same time, and it gets 2. MVP runs back to the apron, as Deuce applies a front facelock on Hardy. Hardy bulldogs Deuce while clotheslining Domino, and it's hot tag MVP. MVP clotheslines Deuce, then gives him an elbow, backdrop, and two difference facebuster variations. Hardy tags in when MVP does the BALLIN! elbow, and uses MVP as a battering ram, pushing him into Domino. Hardy then gives Deuce the TWIST OF FATE, which finishes the bout after the pinfall, at 9:19.   Match Analysis: I swayed back and forth on what I was going to rate it, and I decided on **. I really, really enjoyed the interaction between MVP and Matt Hardy. Usually I think the "feuding partners" angle sucks, but this time at least, it felt right. ___________________   Rey's on WWE Mobile (what's this?) and has something to say about how he was beaten up by Khali. Yeah, he's an underdog and all that. ___________________   The next match is No Disqualification, but for Carlito only. What the fuck? He's facing Triple H.   Blow-by-blow: HHH starts the match off with a few punches, and a back elbow. Carlito bails, but comes back in quickly, and gets backdropped. Carlito goes out to grab a trash can, but HHH pulls him in before he can grab it. HHH clotheslines Carlito out, and Carlito goes to grab a chair. He swings it, but hits the ringpost on accident. HHH drives Carlito into the barrier, and then into the ring apron. HHH gives Carlito an elbowdrop to the back, and a backbreaker, before applying an abdominal stretch. HHH cheats by using the rope, and then pulls Carlito's hair. HHH gets caught and forced to break the hold, so Carlito runs out and tries to unhook a television monitor. HHH stops him, and tosses him onto, but not through, the ECW announce table. Carlito hits HHH with the ring bell, twice, but no blood. Surprising. Carlito chokes HHH with the cord, and then grabs his apple. He spits in the face of people that aren't cool, but apparently, HHH is cool. Cause he was unable to spit in his face. Carlito then hits HHH with a trash can 5 times, then grabs another can and back suplexes HHH onto it, then gets ANOTHER CAN and puts it in the corner, where nothing happens. HHH clotheslines Carlito, and gives him a high knee, then the knee-to-face facebuster, for 2. Carlito grabs some powder, and throws it at HHH. Don't know what to say about that. Carlito grabs a chair, but can't hit HHH with it, as HHH gives him a spinebuster. HHH grabs the chair, but lowblows Carlito instead. And now it's the PEDIGREE, which gives HHH the pinfall at 10:41. HHH takes FOREVER to get out of the ring, which bothers me. It bothers me when anyone does it during the middle of the card.   Match Analysis: I didn't care for it. It was basically a glorified squash, and not much more. *1/4. To be fair, I don't think Carlito's very good (from what I've seen), and I don't think the match could have been any better. ___________________   Maria's with Batista...not a fan of Batista's promos, especially in this case, as he gives me a creepy feeling that he's undressing Maria with his eyes...yeah, I'd really rather not know about that. ___________________   Anyway, the next match is Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle for the Women's Title. The champion is always billed last, unless it's a special case.   Blow-by-blow: Candice Michelle's music is AWFUL. It makes me want to throw my remote at the TV, or fast forward past it. Candice grabs onto a headlock, but Phoenix just throws her away. She does that alot. He gives Candice a knucklelock, and picks her up, then drops her to the canvas. Candice avoids a charge, and springboards back into the ring with an armdrag on Phoenix. Phoenix gives Candice a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and whips her hard into the buckle. Sometimes it's hard to watch women's wrestling, especially in the WWE, because they don't give you that feeling that the moves have a rough impact on their opponent. Phoenix whips her into the buckle, and it's like Candice just smooths her way into being hit. Phoenix rams Candice's head into the mat, which gets 2. We go to the chinlock, and instead, Phoenix applies a surfboard. She gives Candice a back elbow afterward, and an argentine backbreaker. Candice counters it with a neckbreaker, and then a dropkick, but Phoenix rams her into the buckle. Then, Phoenix gives her a press slam. Guess that looked cool. Candice rolls Phoenix up out of nowhere, and gets 3, at 7:05.   Match Analysis: There was nothing that could have made the match worse, so just a DUD. The finish didn't even bother me, I disliked the match that bad. It was a matter of personal preference, not bad wrestling, to a point. Everything was well executed. It just didn't flow, for some reason. ___________________   The Great Khali and his manager, Ranjin Singh, have an interview, and whenever Khali talks, the fans go WHAT? Nice to know that didn't go away. Khali crushes a canteloupe, to signify what he's going to do to Rey Mysterio's head. Note the mask on the canteloupe. And then he crushes a watermelon, to signify what he'll do to Batista. Great promo. I'm being dead serious, that was awesome. ___________________   A video comes first, but it's Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. The Great Khali in a triple threat match, for the World Heavyweight Championship. I'll have something to say about this afterward, but it'll wait.   Blow-by-blow: Batista's entrance is fuckin' DUMB. Both his and Rey's take forever too. Bothersome. Batista and Rey beat up Khali, until Khali throws Rey out of the ring. Sorry, I can't take Rey vs. Khali seriously. That wasn't what I was going to say, though. Khali clotheslines Batista, and rams him into the buckle. He kicks Batista, but misses a charge to the corner. Batista gives him a few shouldercharges, and rams Rey into Khali. Hey, you gotta try somethin'. Rey rolls up Batista for 2. Hey, you gotta try somethin'. Rey gives Batista a flying headscissors, and a bulldog for a 2 count. He goes onto the apron and springboards in with a senton, and I've gotta ask. Is he able to do the West Coast Pop anymore? I'd really like an answer, so please, tell me. Khali gives Rey a gigantic boot to the face, and tries to give Batista the HEAD CRUSH. That finisher is so damn funny. I know it's not called the HEAD CRUSH, but I like it that way. Khali clotheslines him, and then he's able to give him the HEAD CRUSH. Rey grabs a chair and hits Khali with it, well, it doesn't do a thing. Khali goes to the outside, and tosses Batista onto a table. Khali is unable to catch up to Rey, but when he does, he chokes him, and clotheslines him. Khali applies a nerve hold, and gives Rey a big boot when he tries to break it. Khali applies the HEAD CRUSH on Rey, but Batista comes flying back in with a shoulderblock. Khali gets tied in the ropes, so Rey and Batista have to fight. Batista tries to powerbomb Rey, but gets given a rana by Rey. 619 time for Batista, and one for Khali too. Rey with a seated senton onto Khali, but Batista catches Rey afterward, and powerbombs him onto Khali. Batista gives Khali a spinebuster, and pins him, to win the World Title, at 8:00.   Match Analysis: I liked this match better than the triple threat I watched yesterday. But that doesn't MAKE the match THAT much better, although it was better. The finishing sequence is what made the match better, no doubt. And it was kept short, and simple. Thankfully. *1/2, and I don't mean that in a bad way, at all.   Now, what I had to say about this was, this is what I hate about the brand split. A PPV, with only 2 non-title matches. Something is not right about that, and it kinda cheapens some of the titles in the first place. Especially when a bunch change. I'm of the opinion that there should be 1 World Title. 1 Tag Team Title. 2 Midcard Titles, being the IC and US Title. Cruiserweight Champion, and Women's Champion. I think that's all there should be. Have the champion go on both shows again. It's more fun that way, and I may even start watching on a weekly basis again. But RIGHT NOW, the sheer amount of titles there are is overkill. Too much to keep track of. The brand split is fine, when you don't have this many titles. ___________________   Now, a flashback to the Hornswoggle stuff. I didn't want to see it then, and I didn't want to see it now. But, the stupidity of the whole thing had me laughing. HARD. HHH and Batista are backstage, and HHH congratulates him, yeah that whole thing. ___________________   Paul London and Brian Kendrick are facing Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Championships, and I have to say, I don't know what to think of London and Kendrick's getup. Meaning the colors, purple and green. It looks like something Kriss Kross would wear. Wow.   Blow-by-blow: Cade and Kendrick start, and Cade gives him a hiptoss. Kendrick gives Cade a dropkick, and Cade returns with a shoulderblock. Murdoch comes in, and gets rolled up for 2. London tags in after a Kendrick armdrag, and he comes in with an elbow off the top. Kendrick comes in, and does the same, before tagging London in again. London kicks Murdoch's left arm, where they were giving the elbows to. Murdoch misses a charge, and the obviousness of the spot call bothered me a little. He looked at Kendrick and practically told him, come here. Kendrick comes in with a sunset flip for 2, but Murdoch gives him a clothesline. Cade tags in, and is given a flying headscissors by Kendrick. Both London and Kendrick clothesline Cade over the top, and dropkick Murdoch out, and then London and Kendrick suicide dive onto both. Cool. Kendrick goes up top, but misses a crossbody, once they all come back in. Murdoch tosses Kendrick out, and brings him back in the hard way. Cade gets a shoulderblock for 2, and slams Murdoch onto Kendrick, with Murdoch giving Kendrick a legdrop. Cade keeps Kendrick away from tagging London, and puts Kendrick up top, where he powerslams him from the 2nd rope for 2. Murdoch tags in and gets an elbowdrop for 2, then applies a neck vice. Kendrick gets some momentum, and gives him a leg lariat. Cade tags in, and misses a charge to the buckle, but keeps Kendrick from making the tag. Murdoch misses a move from up top, and London finally tags in. He flips into the ring, and has dropkicks for both his opponents. He gives Cade an inverted atomic drop, and a hurricanrana. The crowd has been quiet all match, and I don't know why. London gives a DOUBLE STOMP to a STANDING Murdoch, but misses a charge to the corner. Cade goes up top, but misses a flying elbowdrop. London gets a dropkick for 2, and Kendrick tags in, then comes off the top with a crossbody for 2. Cade and Murdoch do a cool double team, where Cade gives an opponent an inverted atomic drop, and Murdoch gives the same opponent a big boot, but it only gets 2. Murdoch mises a charge to the buckle, but Cade gives Kendrick a sitout-uranage powerbomb, and Cade tosses London out of the ring so he can't make the save during Murdoch's pin, giving Cade and Murdoch the victory and pinfall at 11:49.   Match Analysis: I liked it. But the crowd didn't. They shit all over it. Still, fuck them. They don't matter, when they're as dumb as this. **1/4. ___________________   A Condemned promo and video package for the match takes place, prior to Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship. I thought their match at Summerslam was good, so this should be...right?   Blow-by-blow: Cena's dad is sitting at ringside, remember, Orton kicked him in the face. Anyhow, the crowd is a typical WWE crowd, half heeling on Cena, half not. It looks really bad when they do that. They both slug it out at the opening bell, and Cena gets the best of it, after a clothesline. The crowd is hot, which is no surprise. It was like this last time. Orton bails after being rammed into the turnbuckle and clotheslined. Back in, and Cena tries for the STFU. Can't get it, though, as Orton bails, and gives Cena a European uppercut, on the floor. Orton DDT's Cena from the 2nd rope, back into the ring, but it only get 2. Orton and Cena fight some more, but Cena misses a charge to the buckle, and Orton applies a sleeper. Not this bullshit again. And it goes to a chinlock. So fucking typical. Dueling chants suck, too. I had to say that. Cena breaks the hold and clotheslines Orton, then beats him up in the corner, and pushes the referee twice which leads to a disqualification at 7:21. Fuck that finish. Orton pulls Cena's dad over the barrier, and Cena applies the STFU to Orton, when Orton had attempted to kick Cena's dad again. Cena's dad returns the favor from RAW, and runs backstage. Funny moment: Shot cuts to the crowd, and there's this guy rapping out Cena's music. That's funny shit. Reminds me of something I would have done, back in the day.   Match Analysis: A chinlock in a 7 minute match. The shitty finish. The fake looking brawling. Save that bullshit for RAW. Goodness, I'd feel so RIPPED off had I paid the PPV price for that. Such bullshit. The finish is enough to knock the match down to DUD territory. Terrible. And if you're doing a 7 minute match, for the LOVE OF GOD, don't go to a chinlock. Keep it high intensity, for fuck's sake. ___________________   Jonathan Coachman is with Cena's dad, and he basically tells the guy to stay out of Orton and Cena's business. Then Cena comes in and says, you mess with him, you mess with me. He pushes Coach to the ground, and walks away. ___________________   The main event to end all main events, Mark Henry vs. The Undertaker. Seriously, what the fuck.   Blow-by-blow: The entrance wall falls down, and The Undertaker comes out of it. And now what's left of said wall lights on fire. Haha. The crowd's all standing up, but nobody's making any noise. Once Taker gets in the ring, both men slug it out (harharhar, slugs) and Taker gets the best of it. He gives Henry a headbutt and avalanche, but when he tries another avalanche, Henry picks him up and rams him into the turnbuckle. Didn't matter though, Taker came back with a big boot and headbutt to put Henry down. OLD SCHOOL TIME, but Henry crotches him, then takes about 2 minutes to get up there and give Taker a superplex. Henry gives Taker a clothesline and big boot, but it doesn't do a thing. Taker knocks Henry to the floor, and rams him into one of the announce tables. Henry rams Taker into the apron, and I swear to God, the crowd hasn't made a single sound all match. Henry gives Taker a clothesline for 2, and a big splash for 2. Haha, Taker's on the ground like a sack of potatoes. No movement, no facial expressions, nothing. Another big splash gets 2, but a 3rd misses. Henry gives Taker an STO and a bodyslam, then ANOTHER big splash. He wasts time, and Taker sits up. Thankfully, this is going to be over soon. Taker with two avalanches and OLD SCHOOL, then a CHOKESLAM, which gets 2. Taker goes for the LAST RIDE, but can't get it, so he kicks Henry instead. Henry applies a bearhug and takes Taker over to the corner for the 10 punch, but Taker LAST RIDE's him out of the corner for 3 at 11:26. And the show is over.   Match Analysis: Awful, in very way. I'm convinced that Mark Henry can't be carried to more than a **. Taker did his part to make the match shitty, though. Anyway, there was no crowd heat, and it was an awful decision to put this on last. For that awful decision, combined with the awful match, that's a negative. -*. Really could have done without seeing that. ___________________   Rating: Poor. Better than Armageddon 2003, but not by much. But there were enough average matches to give it a poor rating, and the negative rating keeps it from going to being average.   Best Segment: I enjoyed London/Kendrick vs. Cade/Murdoch the most. I love tag team matches. MVP and Matt Hardy were right after that, on the enjoyment ladder.   Worst Segment: Obviously Undertaker vs. Mark Henry. I don't think the crowd bought into Henry as a threat, thus the lack of crowd reaction.   Loudest Sound: HHH, John Cena (both negatively and positively), Batista, Matt Hardy, and The Great Khali. People really didn't like that ugly bastard.   No Sound: London and Kendrick (but fuck those fans), Deuce and Domino, both women in their match, and Mark Henry. No surprises.   But about the World Heavyweight Title change in the middle of the card, that's exactly why these shows suck. You have a World Title match in the middle, you change the title, get a pop...and then nothing for almost the entirety of the night afterward. Not good. ___________________   Well, that's done. I'll probably watch PTW today, but if I don't, it may be that Jesse Ventura stuff.
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Review: WWE Tribute to the Troops 2006, from Iraq.

Ok, I didn't do this for a while, because, honestly, there wasn't much on to watch. I like to interview a lot of stuff in a row, every day, more like. ___________________   It's Tribute to the Troops from Iraq, so hopefully, the guys put on a good show for the soldiers. That's the main reason I'm interested in watching this, in the first place. JR and the King are on commentary.   The first match, and first segment on the show from Iraq, is a non-title match, between Edge (RAW Tag Team Champion) and John Cena (WWE Champion). Sounds good.   Blow-by-blow: Cena applies a headlock at the beginning of the match, and takes Edge down to the canvas. Edge lifts him up into the air, and Cena does it again. Cena gives Edge a shoulderblock, and we go to the chinlock, early. It doesn't last long, so Edge slaps Cena across the face. Edge gives Cena a forearm, and a shoulderblock of his own. Cena comes back with a hiptoss, and then a scoop slam, followed by an elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Cena misses a charge to the corner, so Edge gives him a DDT. He goes for the "10 punch in the corner," but Cena stops him at #3, and drops Edge face-first onto the turnbuckle. Cena gives Edge a suplex, but it only gets a 2 count. Cena misses a backdrop, so Edge gives him a clothesline. A "you suck" chant gets going, obviously in the direction of Edge. Edge covers Cena for 2, and puts Cena on the ring apron. Cena slugs away, and goes up top, and an poke of the eye by Edge knocks Cena down to the floor. Edge gives Cena a baseball slide, as we go to a   commercial break.   We're back, as Edge has Cena locked in a body scissors. The soldiers bless us with a "CENA" chant, so Cena powers out of the hold. Cena then gives Edge a "Throwback," but Edge comes back quickly with a big boot for 2. Edge goes out to the floor and grabs a chair, but the referee takes it away before he can use it. A Cena rollup gets 2, and Edge comes back with a clothesline, and elbowdrop to the back for 2. Edge gives Cena a spinning leg lariat for 2, and applies the camel clutch. JR's thinking the same thing I am, that it's funny he's doing that move in the Middle East, and all. Cena powers out, of course, and falls back onto Edge, who lands hard on the canvas. The two wrestlers now slug it out, and Cena gets the best of it. He gives Edge two flying shoulderblocks, and then the "Killswitch" for 2. I'm getting these names in quotations off wikipedia, in case you were wondering. Cena then gives Edge the FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE, which the soldiers go nuts for. Cena rams Edge hard into the buckle, and goes for the F-U, but Edge counters with a jumping DDT for 2. It didn't look like his finisher, so I won't call it that. Edge goes up top and Cena tries to give him the F-U from UP THERE, but Edge counters the move into a modified electric chair drop from the top. Edge tries for the SPEAR, but misses, ramming himself into the corner, so Cena gives him the F-U for the victory at 14:01 (what was shown). The enthusiasm of the soldiers during each of the matches on this show makes me feel warm inside. It's nice to see.   Match Analysis: Liked it very much, and I bet these two could do better. Note: I haven't seen any of their other matches. The time period of this match is a dark period to me. Easy ***. It's nice to get a match like this on the show. ___________________   Video of General Casey coming to the ring, and saying thanks to the WWE, and then, talking about how the country can be proud of our soldiers. Then we see pictures of the talent with the soldiers, and we cut to CM Punk saying "happy holidays" to everyone at home. Shelton Benjamin does the same, but like he doesn't even want to be there. "That it?" These two are up next!!! ___________________   Yeah, it's CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin. Sounds good.   Blow-by-blow: Punk gives Shelton a quick armdrag, and Shelton tries to slam Punk afterward. But Punk counters it into an armdrag, and pushes Shelton down to the canvas. Punk Irish whips Shelton, but Shelton goes all.....STOP, and ducks out of the ring, under the bottom rope. Shelton acts like he's going to leave the area, but Punk runs out quickly and tosses him back into the ring. Punk gives Shelton a few forearms, but Shelton rams Punk shoulderfirst into the ringpost. Shelton begins to work on said shoulder, by ramming him arm first into the buckle. Shelton gives Punk a shoulderbreaker, and applies an armbar. Shelton pulls Punk down to the canvas by his hair, which gets 2. Shelton goes back to work on the arm, until Punk powers out of the hold, and gives Shelton a leg lariat. He clotheslines Shelton and gives him a few high knees, then rams Shelton into the buckle. He kinda charges into Shelton, and gives him the running bulldog for 2. Punk goes up top, and Shelton gives him a pop-up springboard superplex for 2. That was NICE. Shelton misses the SHELTON SPLASH (that's a lame name), and Punk gets the roll-up for 3 at 4:47.   Match Analysis: Typically I hate out of nowhere finishes, right? But since the match was so short, it wasn't really out of nowhere, considering it took place during the finishing sequence. It was **1/4. I would LOVE to see these two in a 20 minute match. Is Shelton any good on the stick? If so, he's being WASTED. ___________________   It's Johnny Nitro w/Melina vs. The Undertaker. The fans wanted to see Melina's whole deal when she gets on the apron, but Nitro covers her up to make sure they can't. Taker doesn't go through his whole entrance, either.   Blow-by-blow: Nitro avoids being crushed by Taker, until he corners Taker, and beats him up. Taker picks him up, and does the same to him in the corner, and applies an armbar afterward. Taker gives him a knucklelock slam, and takes Nitro to the buckle, where Taker gives him OLD SCHOOL. Taker goes for the LAST RIDE, but Melina gets on the apron to distract. She screams a whole bunch, and Nitro gives Taker an enziguri. Nitro gives Taker a dropkick, but he gets clotheslined, and taken hard to the buckle. Taker gives him SNAKEEYES, and a big boot. Of course, the CHOKESLAM and TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER finish at 3:57.   Match Analysis: It was what the troops wanted to see, that being a squash. *1/2. ___________________   Now the national anthem with Lillian Garcia is shown...and then the soldiers talk about their experience in Iraq, prior to the mortar attack that took place near the makeshift arena they were going to build. Yeah, a mortar attack. Sheesh. ___________________   The next match on the show is Hardcore Holly vs. Bobby Lashley (ECW Champion) in a non-title bout. Holly's looking a bit too old to pull off the tough guy role they're probably still having him play.   Blow-by-blow: Lashley gives Holly a press slam, so Holly decides he wants to test Lashley's strength. They lock-up, and quickly, Holly kicks him in the gut. Lashley gives him a shoulderblock, and a snap suplex for 2. Lashley then gives Holly a delayed vertical suplex for 2, and Holly bails to the outside. Lashley tries to follow with a baseball slide, but misses, and Holly rams him into the steel steps. Back inside, Holly rams Lashley into the turnbuckle, and applies an armbar. Holly wraps Lashley's around the 2nd rope, presumably working on it, trying to make him submit. Lashley gives Holly a belly-to-belly suplex, and a shoulderblock. Lashley gives Holly a clothesline, and a discus punch to the back of the neck. He then gives Holly a torture rack backbreaker, and another snap suplex for 2. Holly chops Lashley, and Lashley misses a charge to the corner. Holly tries to give him the ALABAMA SLAM, but Lashley rolls through the hold, turning it into a sunset flip, which gets 2. Lashley gives him a "Bulldog" style powerslam, and that gets 3, at 6:27.   Match Analysis: I don't think Lashley's very good, but I can't say so for sure. His moveset is so thin that he repeated a move. Not only that, he reeks of blandness. 3/4*. ___________________   Interview with an Iraqi Army Captain...I was being talked to, so I didn't catch what he said...and then Chris Masters talks about the Masterlock Challenge later on. ___________________   The next match is a non-title bout, between UMAGA and Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion). Umaga's cool, I guess.   Blow-by-blow: Umaga gives Hardy a back elbow, and then misses a clothesline. He also misses a crossbody, and Hardy goes for a sunset flip. Umaga tries to sit on Hardy, but Hardy gives him a seated dropkick. Umaga bails out, and Hardy gives him a baseball slide, and a pescado. Umaga catches him on the pescado though, and rams him into the ringpost and steel steps. Umaga gives him a headbutt, and a legdrop. He then gives Hardy a kick to the back, and quickly applies a nervehold, before giving Hardy a samoan drop. Umaga goes up top, but misses the big splash. Hardy gives him a few clotheslines and a dropkick, but it's not putting Umaga down. He gives Umaga a jawbreaker, and WHISPER IN THE WIND, which finally puts Umaga down, for the 2 count. I wanted to capitalize Umaga's name throughout the review, but it's too hard. I might do it in the future. Umaga goes for the SAMOAN SPIKE, but Hardy avoids it and eventually gets a TWIST OF FATE. Hardy goes for the SWANTON, but hits the knees of Umaga. Umaga gives him the running ass to face at the corner, and the SAMOAN SPIKE, which gets 3 at 5:51.   Match Analysis: The finish was anti-climatic, but the match was still fun. *3/4, and another match that could be better given time. ___________________   Carlito's talking to a female soldier, cause he's cool and all...prior to his match against Randy Orton (RAW Tag Team Champion).   Blow-by-blow: Orton doesn't look healthy when on the juice. That's just a first observation. Orton goes to the headlock, but Carlito reverses it, and comes back with a few left hands. Carlito gives Orton the 10 punch in the corner, and gives him an armdrag. Orton comes back with a dropkick, and then kicks him all over, prior to doing that pose of his. Have I ever mentioned how funny I find the pose? Orton gives Carlito a spinning side slam, and goes to the chinlock. See, before this match, I told my brother he'd do two of three moves. European uppercut, dropkick, and chinlock. I didn't pay attention to see if he did any European uppercuts, because once he did two of them, I quit looking for it. Carlito powers out and gives Orton a back suplex, and a few lefts. Carlito gives Orton a kneelift and clothesline, which gets a 2 count. Carlito gives him a springboard back elbow, which looks about as smooth as any springboard move I've seen. Orton quickly comes back with that Mike Sanders 3.0 backbreaker, and tries to give Carlito the RKO. He's unable to, and near the turnbuckle, Carlito tries the BACKSTABBER. He can't get that either, as Orton holds onto the ropes, preventing himself from being pulled down. Now Orton tries to pin Carlito with his feet on the ropes for 2, and once the referee catches him, Carlito springs up, and rolls Orton up, for 3, while holding Orton's tights and telling the crowd to hush and not ruin his win. Time of the fall was 5:07.   Match Analysis: Cute finish. Really, I loved it. *1/2. Kinda elaborate, but who cares. At least it didn't get screwed up. ___________________   Santa Claus comes to the ring, along with Maria, Crystal and Torrie Wilson. The troops oughta love that. They throw some panties in the crowd, and the troops fight over it. See? Chris Masters comes out, and he doesn't believe in Santa. He hates Christmas, too. Well, he's going to let Santa have a go at breaking the MASTERLOCK. Santa can't do it, so Masters throws him aside. Now, a troop named Jose Avila comes into the ring...yeah, he's tiny. Especially in comparison to Masters. Anyhow, Masters has him locked in, and JBL is SANTA CLAUS! He attacks Masters, and the soldier breaks the MASTERLOCK. Heh. I like how he jumped around and no-sold the move afterward. the MASTERLOCK'S BEEN BROKEN, BAH GAWD, says JR. And now, JBL gives Masters a CLOTHESLINE FROM BAGHDAD. See, I was going to write that once I saw the move, but the announce team stole the words from out of my mouth. ___________________   That's the end of the show, after pictures from Iraq. ___________________   Rating: Good. I thought the show was fun, and had decent matches. So yeah, good.   Best Segment: Cena vs. Edge   Worst Segment: Hardcore Holly vs. Bobby Lashley. Both suck.   Loudest Sound: Taker and Cena   No Sound: Nobody. Everyone was getting some sort of reaction. ___________________   NWA is next. I'm not reviewing the Christmas RAW, because it'll be up again when the MNW hits that point.
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Review: WWE Survivor Series 2007, from Miami, Florida, 11/18/2007.

Opening video, and there we are, Survivor Series 2007. ___________________   The first match is John Morrison vs. the Miz vs. CM Punk for the ECW Championship.   Blow-by-blow: Much like Last Man Standing, three-way matches are not my favorite. Morrison and Miz stomp on Punk at the start, but Punk comes back on Miz with a sunset flip for 2. Morrison slingshots Punk into the turnbuckles, but Punk flies back off with a springboard crossbody for a 2 count on Morrison. Punk tosses both Morrison and Miz out of the ring, and flies out onto both with a tope. Punk goes for the slingshot clothesline but Miz blocks him, and Morrison attacks Punk. Morrison and Miz give Punk a double suplex, but Miz dumps Morrison out afterward. Miz gives Punk a back suplex for 2 and applies a camel clutch, but Punk powers out and gives him an enziguri. Morrison dropkicks Miz out and gives Punk a neckbreaker for 2, before applying a strang looking chinlock. Morrison tosses Punk over the top, but as Punk tries to skin the cat, Miz grabs onto his legs and pulls him down to the floor. Morrison suplexes Miz in for a 2 count, and Miz replies with a stroke on Morrison that gets a 2 count. Miz clotheslines Morrison in the corner for a 2 count, but misses a charge, and Morrison responds with a SPLIT-LEGGED SKY TWISTER PRESS for a 2 count. Yes, I just said that. Punk comes back into the ring and places Morrison on the top, where he gives him a frankensteiner. Unfortunately, he frankensteiner'd Morrison into the Miz, who powerbombed him. Punk gives Miz a leg lariat, and follows that up with the knee to the head and bulldog for a 2 count. Punk gives Miz a double-underhook backbreaker for 2, and Morrison quickly comes in, rolling Punk up for a 2 count. Punk tries to give Miz a GO TO SLEEP, and isn't able to, but after Miz gets Morrison out of the way, he's able to give Miz a GO TO SLEEP for the win at 7:58. Yeah, Punk retains.   Match Analysis: Yeah, that was good. Probably would've been better if longer, but I didn't care for the finish. The rest of the match was good, especially for an opener, so **3/4. ___________________   Friday on Smackdown, MVP attacked Matt Hardy's knee, putting him on the shelf.. He has an interview, and yeah, Matt Hardy won't be in the elimination match later tonight. ___________________   Now, we have a 10 Diva tag team match, which features Beth Phoenix (Women's Champ), Layla, Jillian, Victoria and Melina vs. Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool, Kelly Kelly, Maria and Mickie James. I can't really review this, for two reasons. #1, it's meaningless, and will take up more space than I want it to. #2, I assign letters to each name, when I take notes. There are so many matching letters that begin each persons name, making it impossible to keep track. Anyhow, this was non-elimination, and at first, I didn't think there would be time for everyone to tag in. But they did. There were a few comedy spots, and Mickie James gave Melina an UGLY kick for the pinfall victory at 4:41. 1/2*. ___________________   Coach and Regal are in the back, watching Hornswoggle. You know, he's facing the Great Khali later. Earlier though, Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels had some things to say about their match later tonight. ___________________   That leads us to Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Titles...   Blow-by-blow: Honestly, I can't fathom how this could make it to PPV. Seriously. Cade shoulderblocks Rhodes to start things off, and follows it up with a hiptoss. Rhodes responds with a dropkick, and a sunset flip for 2. Cade gives Rhodes a backbreaker, and Murdoch tags in. He tries to give Rhodes a back suplex, but he counters and tags in Holly. Holly chops away, but Murdoch rams him into the buckle. Cade tags in and misses a charge, so Holly sets up that kick to the nuts he's been doing forever. He clotheslines Cade over the top, and Rhodes tosses Murdoch over the top onto Cade. Cade comes in and misses a charge to the corner, so Holly rolls him up for 2. Murdoch comes in and gives Holly a big boot, following it up with a cover for 2. Cade tags in, and after a Murdoch slam, he drops Murdoch onto Holly, which gets a two count. Murdoch tags right back in, and after a snapmare, he goes to the chinlock. He tries a suplex, but Holly blocks it and gives him one of his own. Cade tags in, but he misses an elbowdrop...although he's able to follow it up with a clothesline. Murdoch tags in and Cade tries to drop him on Holly again, but that misses. Rhodes makes the lukewarm tag, gives Murdoch a clothesline, and then a backdrop. He gives Murdoch a bulldog, and comes off the top with a missile dropkick. Holly clotheslines Cade over the top, and Rhodes goes for a DDT, but Murdoch gives him a Rey Mysterio style sunset-flip powerbomb for 3 at 7:18. After the match, Holly leaves Rhodes in the ring. I guess that counts for dissension nowadays.   Match Analysis: Typical WWE tag match. Not good, and not bad. Just ok. *3/4. ___________________   Todd Grisham is with Kane, Rey Mysterio, Jeff Hardy and HHH in the back, for an interview. Without Matt Hardy, they're a man down. And you know what, HHH has history with two of the other three, as mentioned. He says he's sorry for the Katie Vick thing, and he's also sorry for beating the hell out of Jeff back in 2001. Great guy, that Triple H. ___________________   Yeah, this is our only traditional Survivor Series Match. It's Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Big Daddy V, MVP (US Champion) and UMAGA vs. Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion), Triple H, Kane, and Rey Mysterio.   Blow-by-blow: On the heel side, there is not a single credible wrestler. Not a one. On the face side, you have 3 former World Champions, and another who will be the fourth soon enough. Rey and Kennedy start, and Kennedy applies a wristlock. Rey reverses, and shoots Kennedy into the ropes, where Kennedy gives him a shoulderblock for 2. Kennedy misses a charge at Rey, and Rey gives him a flying headscissors. Rey gives him a sunset-flip powerbomb for 2, and tags in Hardy. Hardy gives Kennedy a POETRY IN MOTION, and rams him into the buckle. Kennedy comes back with a clothesline, and MVP tags in, with a cover for 2. Viscera tags in, and gives Jeff a headbutt. That's followed up with a shoulderblock, and Viscera walks over Jeff. Kane tags in, HOSS CENTRAL, Viscera gives him a belly-to-belly suplex. Kane gives Viscera a clothesline, and MVP gets side-slammed. Kane comes off the top with a clothesline, and he chokeslams Finlay. Viscera gives Kane a surprise samoan drop, and the BIG ELBOWDROP for 3 at 5:29. An ode to old Survivor Series matches, with that elbowdrop and all. Unintentionally funny.   With Kane gone, HHH comes in and gives Viscera the knee-to-face, but Viscera follows up with a clothesline. He misses a splash, and Umaga tags in. Umaga misses a charge to the corner, but comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex. He misses a diving headbutt off the 2nd rope, and Rey tags in. Umaga tries to sit on Rey after a big kick, but he misses, and Rey gives him a seated dropkick for 2. Rey is unable to give Umaga a springboard hurricanrana, but he rana's Umaga into the ropes, for the 619. It connects, but the seated senton which follows only gets a 2 count. Umaga gives Rey a GIGANTIC swinging side slam, and the SAMOAN SPIKE follows for the pinfall at 9:18. Wow, what a good finish to the fall.   Down to 2 on the babyface side, so Hardy goes into the ring to face Umaga. Kennedy tags in though, but misses a charge to the corner. Hardy dropkicks Kennedy, but lands on his head after missing that seated dropkick of his in the corner. MVP tag in, and gives Hardy a gorilla press slam out of fireman's carry position. MVP misses a big boot, and Hardy pins him for three after a TWIST OF FATE at 12:51.   Kennedy comes in, but Hardy gives him an enziguri, before making the tag to HHH. HHH clotheslines Kennedy for 2, and gives him a spinebuster. Viscera comes in on the pin attempt and accidentally gives Kennedy an elbowdrop, so he charges at HHH. HHH pulls down the top rope to send Viscera out, and pins Kennedy for the 3 count at 14:24. Kennedy laid there for a while.   Jeff gets rammed into the post by Viscera on the outside, and brings him back in. He works on HHH, and sets things up so that he can squash both. Both Jeff and HHH avoid him, and give Viscera a double DDT for three at 15:28.   Now we're down to 2 on each side, with it being Finlay and Umaga vs. Jeff and HHH. Yeah, that's an even matchup. Finlay comes in, and gives HHH a european uppercut. That's followd up with a clothesline and elbowdrop, but Finlay misses a jump off the top, eating boot. Jeff tags in, and gives Finlay the seated dropkick in the corner for 2, but Umaga gives Jeff a big foot to the face on the ring apron. Inside, Finlay clotheslines Jeff for 2, but Jeff counters an Irish whip with a WHISPER IN THE WIND. After a Jeff enziguri, HHH tags in. High knee for Finlay, spinebuster, PEDIGREE and Finlay's gone at 21:17. Umaga comes in, takes HHH to the corner, and misses the running ass-to-face. HHH gives him the PEDIGREE, and tags Jeff in for the SWANTON BOMB, getting the three count and the victory at 22:09.   Survivors: Jeff Hardy and Triple H.   Match Analysis: The match slowed down when we got to 2 on 2. That sucked. Before that, the match was **** quality. As it was, I'll give it ***1/4. In hindsight, is this the match that jumpstarted Jeff's mini-push? I'd say no, judging from crowd reaction. The fans weren't as amped about this as they were when he beat HHH at Armageddon. ___________________   You know, Shaq's in the crowd. Too bad he doesn't play for the Heat anymore.   Regal and Coach are still with the midget, Vince McMahon comes in, and tells Hornswoggle he has a reputation to uphold. ___________________   Now, we have the match, Hornswoggle vs. the Great Khali. Shane McMahon comes out for some reason, to no crowd reaction. Well, that went well. Vince comes out too, and then, Hornswoggle. Ranjin Singh comes out with Khali, and says that this is a sanctioned match and all that. The fans chant that they want Shaq, but they're not getting it. Anyhow, Hornswoggle gives Singh green mists, beats him up, and goes under the ring to grab a shillelagh. Khali tosses it away and smacks Hornswoggle, so Finlay runs out to get Hornswoggle disqualified at 3:15. Finlay beats up Khali. Wow. This was about 3:15 too long, so in that case, I'm going to rate it -***. Brutal angle, brutal "match." ___________________   Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title is next, and if Orton is disqualified, he loses his belt. If HBK uses Sweet Chin Music, he doesn't get another title shot at Orton for the duration of his reign. Simple? I think so.   Blow-by-blow: To start, Shawn goes to a neck vice, and continues it, until Orton tries to slam him. He can't, so Orton stomps HBK anyway. HBK chops away and shoulderblocks Orton, before going to a chinlock. To a front-facelock we go, until HBK tosses Orton out of the ring. HBK baseball-slides Orton, and follows it up with a quebrada. Haven't seen him do that in forever. Shawn tosses Orton into the ring, and comes off the top with a crossbody, although it's reversed for a 2 count. Shawn takes Orton down and applies the SHARPSHOOTER...you know why? Its been 10 years since Montreal, that's why, although this spot would've been better served being near the end of the match. Orton makes the ropes and drops Shawn neck-first otno them, and gives him a few kneedrops. Orton gives Shawn an elevated DDT for 2, and he goes to the chinlock. After 10 minutes this has been slow, but still, good. So far, anyway. Shawn powers out and chops away, before following it up with the flying forearm, and kip-up. He gives Orton an inverted atomic drop, but Orton responds with a dropkick for 2. Shawn rolls Orton up for two, and slams him twice, before heading up top. Shawn comes down with a flying elbow, and he TUNES UP THE BAND FOR SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Oh wait, he knows he'll get DQ'd, so he cradles Orton for 2. Crowd really liked that. Orton reverses a Shawn roll-up for two, so Shawn replies by putting him in the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! That move elicits a strange reaction, but Orton makes the ropes. Orton rolls through a crossface attempt, and clotheslines Shawn for a 2 count. Orton gives him the 3.0 backbreaker, and gets ready for the RKO...but he decides to kick Shawn instead. Shawn catches the punt attempt and goes for the ANKLE LOCK, he gets it, and applies the HEEL HOOK as well. Should be death...but it ain't. Orton makes the ropes, so Shawn tries to apply the FIGURE-FOUR, but Orton kicks him into the ringpost. He goes for the RKO, but Shawn counters...and goes for SWEET CHIN MUSIC. In mid-move he realizes he can't do that, so Orton gives him the RKO for the victory at 17:48.   Match Analysis: I didn't think it was as good as Cyber Sunday, simply because it didn't quite pick up from the start. An enjoyable **3/4 match, but nothing you'd remember for longer than a few days. ___________________   The main event is The Undertaker vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship in a Hell in a Cell, but first, there's a Saveus.22 promo, cause he'll be there tomorrow.   Blow-by-blow: I hate when the Champion enters first. Hate, hate, hate. The cell is a lot taller than it used to be, which is the easiest thing to notice, visually speaking. They lock-up, and when shot into the ropes, Batista gives Taker a shoulderblock. Taker comes back with some punches and goes for the chokeslam, but instead he clotheslines Batista for 2. He gives Batista an elbowdrop and takes him to the buckle, for SNAKE EYES. The big boot follows for 2, and seeing as it only got two, Taker's pissed. He goes to grab a chair, and when bringing it in, Batista spears him. Batista grabs the chair, but Taker boots it into his face, and clotheslines him for a 2 count. To the outside, and Taker rams Batista into the steel steps. He grates Batista's face along the fencing of the cell, and gives him the apron legdrop. Taker puts a chair on Batista's throat, and rams it into the steel steps, driving the chair into his throat. Batista bites the blood capsule, as Taker chokes him with his boot, and rams the chair into Batista's chest. Back in and the cover gets two...so Taker goes for OLD SCHOOL. Batista catches him and gives him a spinebuster, and they slug it out afterward, ending in a Batista clothesline for a 2 count. Batista clotheslines Taker and powerslams him, which gets a 3 count. Outside, Batista whips Taker into the cell and clotheslines him, and then he torpedo launches Taker into the cell. You know, JBL is an awful commentator. Taker hits Batista in the head with a chair, so now Batista is bleeding. On the inside we get a cover for 2, and Taker goes for OLD SCHOOL AGAIN, but Batista crotches him and superplexes him. Batista goes for the cover, but Taker applies the TRIANGLE CHOKE. Batista makes it to the ropes and bails to the outside, so Taker dives onto him. Taker grabs the steel stemps, but Batista kicks them away and rams him into the post. Batista hits Taker with the steps, and Taker does a lazy bladejob. You can see the guy swiping at his forehead...it looked ridiculous. Anyway, Taker's bleeding pretty bad, and when brought back in, Batista takes Taker to the corner for a 10 punch. Taker comes out with a LAST RIDE, and from being a fresh spot at WM 17, I think I've seen it about 20 times on 24/7 over the past few months. I hate it now. The cover only gets two, and Taker follows it up with a CHOKESLAM, but that only gets 2. Taker tries a TOMBSTONE, but Batista counters and gives him a spinebuster. This is the good stuff. The cover only gets 2, so Batista goes outside to get...a TABLE. Hell yeah. He BATISTA BOMBS Taker through it, and that gets a 2 count. Batista goes to grab the bottom of the steps from the outside, and on a BATISTA BOMB attempt, Taker backdrops him onto them for a 2 count. A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER also can only get a 2 count, but a TOMBSTONE on the STEEL STEPS does the job. Batista would've been down for three, but EDGE (to no surprise, although making his return) comes out from under the ring and pulls the referee to the outside. He clocks Taker in the head with a TV camera, and grabs the bottom of the steps that are currently in the ring. He gives Taker a con-chair-to using those steps as the 2nde, and puts Batista on top of Taker, giving Batista the pinfall victory at 21:25. No DQ, so the ref had to count. After the match, Edge hits Taker in the head with a chair, and that's the end of the show.   Match Analysis: Hell of a match...with great use of interference. I don't understand how these two slugs always have good matches, but they do. Hell, I think these two have had the best hoss vs. hoss matches that have taken place in the WWF/E. I'm going to rate it ***3/4. Worth watching. It was better than the match at Cyber Sunday, but I have a hard time giving it ****. 90% of all other hoss matches are shit, so...this is a rarity. ___________________   Rating: Good. There were four matches near the *** mark, so that's good. Plus, Hell in a Cell was very memorable.   Best Segment: Hell in a Cell.   Worst Segment: Hornswoggle vs. Khali. You know, I didn't know if something would top the Diva match, but this certainly did, in the worst way imaginable. ___________________   I'll have a Saturday Night's Main Event review up next. The one that'll be up on 24/7 is SNME #5.
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Review: WWE Royal Rumble 2008, from New York City; 1/27/2008.

Going to be a lot of hindsight thinking in this review... ___________________   First match up on this is Ric Flair vs. MVP.   Blow-by-Blow: Flair's last MSG performance...he gets on the mic, thanks the fans, and MVP interrupts. Here we go. MVP takes Flair to the canvas, cause he's BALLIN! Ok, now Flair applies a hammerlock, before giving MVP a shoulderblock. Flair tries that again, and MVP drop-toe holds him down to the canvas. A big boot and neckbreaker get a one count for MVP, so MVP goes to the chinlock, while having the arm barred. MVP misses a charge to the corner, so Flair tries a FIGURE-FOUR...but he can't get it applied. Instead, he gives MVP an atomic drop, but MVP cradles him for 2 on the next attempted move. MVP gives Flair a backdrop, and a running big boot for a 2 count. The two count was because Flair's foot on the ropes. Had the referee not noticed, Flair would've been forced to retire. An MVP clothesline gets a two count, and so does a double underhook suplex. Now MVP places Flair up top for a superplex, but it only gets a 2 count. Double collision now, and once Flair gets up, we get two counts from a small package and a backslide. MVP tries the PLAYMAKER after a knee to the face, but Flair reverses, FIGURE-FOUR, MVP taps out at 7:49. And Flair kisses MSG goodbye...   Match Analysis: Not visually pleasing, to say the least. It really sucked. Saddening to see one of my favorites performing so poorly, but hey, that's life. I'll give it *1/4, and when I watched this one live, first thing I thought was wow, it's probably a good thing that Flair's career is going to end. ___________________   Mike Adamle talks for a bit, and then, we have the hype video for Chris Jericho vs. JBL. Which is now.   Blow-by-Blow: The referee won't let them fight at the start, but that ends when JBL hits Jericho in the back with some clubbing blows. Jericho jumps on top of JBL and punches away, but JBL tosses him out. Jericho comes right back in and goes for the WALLS OF JERICHO, but JBL reaches the ropes. After Jericho gives JBL a baseball slide and rams him into the retaining wall, he rams JBL into the steps. Back in, and JBL gives Jericho a hotshot, so he can regain control. After a lariat, JBL takes Jericho to the ropes to choke him, at least until applying a sleeper. A JBL big boot follows, then he rams Jericho shoulder-first into the ringpost. Well, Jericho's bleeding now. Bradshaw kicks away as Jericho's gushing, but Jericho responds with a clothesline. The botched lionsault is cut out, so we see the LIONSAULT that landed, to a mock cheer. Um...now the fans that haven't seen the show before don't know what that's all about. Which is dumb. Anyway, Jericho clotheslines JBL over the top, and hits him with a steel chair for the disqualification at 9:19. Jericho now has a cord, which he uses to hang JBL with, much like JBL did to him on RAW. Which was great.   Match Analysis: A new side of Jericho was shown in this match, but they went right back to the old one soon after. I'm not really a fan of that decision, because I'm very much in favor of character depth. Who's not? Match was **...not really done at the best time, and not done right in the first place. Had they done this at a non-Rumble show, there definitely would've been more time. ___________________   Ashley knocks on Maria's door in a little time waster segment, and hey, SANTINO MARELLA opens it. YES! He says Maria's not interested in Ashley's boobie magazine. The end. ___________________   After a hype video, we now have Rey Mysterio vs. Edge w/Vickie Guerrero and his team of buddies for the World Heavyweight Championship.   Blow-by-Blow: I found it funny to see Rey get booed. I've got a feeling that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Anyway, Rey gives Edge a hurricanrana at the start, and a dropkick, which gets a one count. Edge chokes Rey at the ropes and tosses him out...so his lackeys make their way over to beat on Mysterio. BUT, the referee tosses them out of the building, so that's not going to happen. Rey comes in with a flying headscissors to take Edge out of the ring, and a PESCADO. Back in now, with a Rey seated senton for a 2 count. Rey springs onto the second rope, but Edge kicks him in the knee, knocking him to the canvas. Edge applies a half-crab on the knee, before giving Rey a powerslam for a two count. Back to the leg, but Rey builds up some momentum and gives Edge a bulldog for two. Before Rey's attack, there was a lengthy dead period in the match. Just saying. After Edge misses a charge at Rey, Rey responds with a seated senton, which gets a two count. Rey comes off the top with a double stomp(!), but it only gets a two count. Rey rana's Edge to the floor now, and follows that with a DDT, which gets a two count when they get back in the ring. Edge responds with a big boot, but he misses a SPEAR. Rey puts Edge's face on the second rope, dial it up, 619, but a splash from up top does not get the victory, because Vickie Guerrero grabbed the official. Hey, she's the GM. She can do that if she wants. Rey tries to give Edge another 619, but Vickie jumps onto the apron and takes the hit, so now when Rey springboards in, Edge is ready to finish. SPEAR on the springboard, and Edge retains via pinfall at 12:34. Poor Vickie has to be wheeled out in her wheelchair...she's hurt, you see.   Match Analysis: Would've been very good if not for the dead period in the middle of the match, but hey, there was a dead period, so that's how I have to judge it. I know that in the past both could've had a great match against one another, but I don't know if Rey is capable of those things anymore. This was just average, but the finishing sequence was really fun. **1/2. ___________________   We go to the lockerroom now, as Ric Flair's coming out of the shower. Thankfully, wearing a towel. Anyway, Mr. Kennedy's in the room, and he says that he wants to retire Flair. Here's HBK, planting seeds asnd all that. He and Flair say that Kennedy ain't goin' anywhere with that gimmick. Now, here's Batista. Like I said, planting seeds. There's HHH too! HBK wants those two to settle down, because the guy that's going to win the Royal Rumble is the one currently wearing the HBK shirt that you can find on WWE.Com. Hey! ___________________   We've got one more segment before our big match though, which is Maria's KISS CAM. YAY! Yeah, we see people kissing and all that, until Ashley comes out. She wants to talk about Playboy, which naturally brings out Santino Marella. He runs down New York City quite well, and then brings his special guest into the ring. That fat dude who dances while wearing a speedo. Ugh.   WrestleMania XXIV promo, and then, Mike Adamle calls Jeff Hardy "Jeff Harvey." Unfortunately, that moment has been edited out. ___________________   Now, it's time for the match that was, well, as big a draw as a singles match at the Rumble could possibly be. And that is Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.   Blow-by-Blow: After the lock-up, Jeff takes Orton down with a shoulderblock, and then with a headlock. An inverted atomic drop followed by a legdrop to the nuts gets a two count for Jeff, but Orton gains some semblance of control by ramming Jeff into the buckle. Unfortunately, Jeff comes right back by clotheslining Orton over the top rope, and then baseball sliding him hard into the retaining wall at ringside. We call that a concussion. Anyway, Jeff follows Orton to the floor with a pescado, which causes Orton to rethink his gameplan. He'll just leave. He takes his belt and begins to walk away, but Hardy stops him and rams his face into the announce table. Orton gets tossed back in, but on Jeff's springboard attempt, Jeff gets dropkicked by Orton, which knocks him down to the floor. Orton suplexes Jeff on the outside, then in we go, for a two count. Orton's kneedrops also get a two count, and after both men trade blows, Jeff sends Orton to the outside. Jeff clotheslines Orton from the apron, but the eventual cover only gets a two count. Jeff misses a charge to the corner on the inside, but that only gets a two count for Orton. Now, we go to the chinlock. Of course, Orton's the one applying it. An Orton powerslam gets a two count, then back to the chinlock we go. Now we head towards the end, but we're not at the end, as Jeff is doing the usual offense that occurs when a guy gets out of a chinlock. Clotheslines and back elbows, but then a WHISPER IN THE WIND, which only gets 2. An enziguri is delivered to the head of Orton, and then, Jeff goes up top. Nope to the SWANTON, instead, Jeff missile dropkicks Orton, who's standing on the ring apron. That knocks him to the floor. A moonsault by Jeff to Orton on the floor barely even hits Orton, and now, both men go into the ring, slowly. Jeff tries the TWIST OF FATE, BAM, RKO instead, Orton with the pinfall victory at 14:06. Courtesy applause for Jeff...yeah yeah yeah.   Match Analysis: Finish wasn't the best...like I said before, I hate out of nowhere finishes. The rest of the match was average, definitely nothing you'd expect from main event level guys. Quite clearly, it was best that Jeff didn't go over. Smart thinking from WWE on that issue. **1/2. ___________________   It is now time for the ROYAL RUMBLE!   Blow-by-Blow: Yeah, it was pretty cool that Michael Buffer intro'd the thing, but I've seen him in person. No big deal. #1 is...THE UNDERTAKER. Big surprise, when watching it live. And #2 is SHAWN MICHAELS. YES! Shawn bumping around for Taker is always fun, and this doesn't disappoint. #3 is Santino Marella! He does some funny stuff, and after being kicked in the mouth, the Undertaker tosses him over the top and to the floor at 2:05. #4 is the Great Khali, who comes into the ring, only to be taunted with chants of "YOU CAN'T WRESTLE" from the MSG faithful. Thankfully, Taker gets rid of him too, at 4:43. #5 is Hardcore Holly, who proceeds to break Shawn Michaels nose. In return, Taker beats him up for ten minutes or so. I thought that was funny when watching it live...thinking that it couldn't possibly be a coincidence that Taker was so involved with someone so low on the card for so long. Also, Bob Holly's been in the WWE for fourteen years. Think about that for a second. Or not. Anyway, #6 is John Morrison. It sucked how the rest of the announcers cut Joey Styles off during the story he was going to tell about Morrison...really sucked. Anyway, Tommy Dreamer is #7, and some people mark out. But not me. #8 is Batista, who throws Dreamer out at 10:10. Well that didn't last long. #9 is Hornswoggle, who hides under the ring. He doesn't want any of that. Our #10 entrant Chuck Palumbo comes out, and does nothing, until Jamie Noble comes in at #11. Chuck kicks Noble out at 14:52, causing Noble to need help in order to get to the back. #12 is CM Punk, who knees Chuck out at 16:34. Thankfully. At #13 we have Cody Rhodes, and at #14, it's UMAGA. He SAMOAN SPIKES Holly out of the ring at 18:52, and then, our number 15 entrant, Snitsky, makes his way to the ring. #16 is the Miz and #17 is Shelton Benjamin, as clearly, there was a bit of a dead period. But at the same time, the intervals are only a bit longer than a minute, so I couldn't write down much in such a short time. Of course, when Shelton entered, he did some cool shit. Like leaping onto the top rope and dropping two opponents throat first onto said top rope. Why in the world doesn't WWE give this guy a push? Shawn superkicks him, which puts Shelton out at 23:07. Now, we've got our first surprise entrant. JIMMY SNUKA, #18! I marked like crazy. After Snuka hits everyone, #19 comes out. And that's ROWDY RODDY PIPER. Then I marked even more crazy! A Rumble moment to last for a long time occurs, as Piper and Snuka fight while the whole ring watches. Awesome. Now, #20 is Kane, who dumps both Snuka and Piper to the floor at 27:00. Aw. #21 is Carlito, who spits in the face of Cody Rhodes. Clearly he is not cool. #22 is Mick Foley, who, honestly, doesn't do a whole lot of anything when first entering the ring. But he does in a bit, something that most will like/liked. #23 is Kennedy, who gets chokeslammed, and as Big Daddy V enters at #24, we get a bunch of eliminations, starting at 32:21. Taker clotheslines Snitsky out, Michaels superkicks Taker out, and Kennedy bundles Michaels over the top. Whew. That was a tough sequence to recap. Taker puts Snitsky through the table with a legdrop, which also happened to make me laugh. Oh, you. #25 is Mark Henry, and shortly after his entrance, Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring and pulls The Miz over the top and to the floor at 34:39. #26 is Chavo Guerrero, showing how little the ECW Title means. I hated this. After Kane gives Morrison a big boot to knock him out at 36:06, and then, Mark Henry pulls Hornswoggle into the ring. That brings Finlay out (before it was time for him to enter), to hit everyone with a shillelagh. Unforunately, he's been disqualified for entering early, and I suppose Hornswoggle is disqualified for being the beneficiary of his interference, at 38:00. #28 is Elijah Burke, who has seemingly disappeared after this appearance. Odd. Anyway, Chavo suplexes Punk over the top and out at 39:20, before HHH enters at #29. He gets rid of Cody Rhodes at 40:16, Big Daddy V at 40:33, and then, he fights with Mick Foley. Hell yes to that, duh. HHH then tosses Foley into Burke, which eliminates the both of them at 40:58. Boo. Down to the last entrant, who is.....JOHN CENA. I'm not gonna lie, I flipped when watching this live. Carlito gets tossed out at 43:19, Chavo Guerrero goes out at 43:22, and Mark Henry goes out at 43:26, to much cheer. The big two square off, that being Cena and HHH. BUT, we've still got a few guys left, don't we? Batista clotheslines Kennedy and UMAGA over the top, eliminating him at 44:28 and 44:41, respectively. We're down to four, those four being Kane, HHH, Batista, and John Cena. Guess who goes out first. 44:53 was the time of that. Now that we've got HHH, Batista and John Cena in the ring together, yeah, that's WWE's biggest possible match. Don't be fooled into thinking otherwise. They all taunt each other, until they fight and HHH clotheslines Batista out at 47:18. Down to two, and the crowd is decidedly split. Boo, yeah, boo, yeah (HHH being cheered, Cena being booed)...but Cena gets the better of it. After the FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE, we get some finisher reversal, which ends in a double clothesline, knocking both men out. Not out of the ring, though. HHH gives Cena a DDT after another failed F-U try, then tries to slam Cena out and to the floor. Nope, Cena slips off HHH's shoulder, and F-U's him to the floor, to win the Rumble and go to WrestleMania No Way Out, for his title shot at the champion. Match ended at 51:30.   Match Analysis: As I've said before, surprises are a huge part of what makes a great Royal Rumble. I'll give this one ****, as really, there weren't dead periods with nothing going on, seeing as guys were constantly entering. And I'll give WWE credit for deviating from the norm. It's not usual to see so many top level guys enter early. A show saving match. ___________________   Rating: Decent. I can't in good conscience give this a good rating, but at the same time, I'll say that I was definitely happy to have ordered it, and I know that I'm going against things I've said in the past. You know, when I say things like, if I would've paid full price for the show, it's a good one? Well, I didn't pay full price for this, I paid half. So nyah.   Best Segment: The Royal Rumble. Usually is.   Worst Segment: Maria's Kiss Cam. I really hate when that fat dude comes into the ring and dances. Just, ugh. ___________________   I'll get the RAW and Nitro review from 7/14/97 up ASAP. Then Clash of the Champions XXXV, but I'm not going to review the Rey Mysterio DVD. Too much content that could be included in potential reviews, and I don't really like reviewing things like that.  
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Review: WWE No Way Out 2008, from Las Vegas, Nevada; 2/17/2008.

Road to WrestleMania and that sort of thing. Still do not understand the point of having two Elimination Chambers on this PPV... ___________________ CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Title is going to open the show...   Blow-by-Blow: Punk kicks right at the start, then gives Chavo a back elbow. After a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Punk, Punk misses a charge to the corner, so he can get kicked off the ring apron. Chavo knocks Punk down for two, before giving him a few weak kicks. A Chavo drop-toe hold leads to a cover for two, so he gives Punk a back suplex, before applying a body scissors. Punk slingshots Chavo into the corner, for a knee and a backdrop. He then misses a charge, but his powerslam gets a two count. He tries the GO TO SLEEP, but Chavo rana's out and follows it up with a tornado DDT for two. A Punk enziguri gets two after Chavo did the Eddie "shake your shoulders" taunt, before Punk does said taunt and tries the three amigos, to quite a bit of heel heat. I don't think Punk should've done that. Anyway, he only was able to give Chavo two suplexes, before the knee and bulldog combination at the corner for two. A big kick puts Chavo out, but after a cover, Punk places Chavo on top. Chavo kicks Punk away and climbs the turnbuckles, but Punk crotches him. Now Punk tries to give him a frankensteiner, but Chavo holds the rope so that Punk goes to the canvas all by his lonesome, FROG SPLASH, Chavo retains his gold at 7:15. Nice reception for his win, btw.   Match Analysis: Basically, just a standard Tuesday night on ECW matchup. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Good for an ECW Title match on PPV, I guess. **1/4. Would've liked Chavo to have more matches with length as champion, but hey, can't get everything you want. ___________________   After a video of some Edge/Rey stuff...we have Mike Adamle with Rey Mysterio. He talked about his torn bicep and whatnot, before Floyd Mayweather showed up. Pumped Rey up a bit. ___________________   Next, we've got...THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER. This is the Smackdown version. Meaning, we've got MVP vs. The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh vs. Finlay vs. Batista vs. Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker vs. The Undertaker.   Blow-by-Blow: Batista and Taker will start the match. I'm not too enthused about this one, but it'll probably be okay. They slug it out, but Taker wins that battle by tossing Batista over the top, onto the steel which rests beside the ring. Batista hits Taker with a big boot to knock him in, then his clothesline gets a one count. Taker goes to a boot choke, then stomps away, before the Batista comeback. A Batista back elbow gets two, and then they both give each other a big boot, as the third entrant comes in...that being BIG DADDY V. V chops both of them, before giving Batista a clothesline and Taker a bodyslam. V gives Taker a samoan drop, before slamming Batista and knocking Taker outside of the Chamber. Yeah, seriously. I don't think that was supposed to happen. Anyway, V avalanches Taker at the steel siding, then does the same to Batista back in the ring. Batista responds with a spinebuster on the fatso, before clotheslining him over the top and onto the steel. Taker DDT's V on the steel floor, and V gets pinned by Batista at 9:08.   #4 enters, and that's the GREAT KHALI. He can't wrestle, you know. Taker tried to chokeslam Khali, but the big man stopped it and choketossed him for a two count. Khali clotheslined Batista for two, and applied the HEAD CRUSH.. No for the submission, because Batista broke it and SPEARED him. Taker boots Batista, and applies the GOGOPLATA on Khali at 12:38. Of course, Khali tapped.   Taker boots Batista, before covering him for two. Now #5 enters, and that's FINLAY. Taker boots him and whips him into the buckle, but Taker misses a charge to the corner. Finlay tosses Batista out, and hits the CELTIC CROSS on Taker, only getting a two count. Batista slingshots Finlay into the cage, but Taker clotheslines Batista for a two count. Finlay tosses Taker out, and rams him into the cage before another two count. Now he rams Taker into the glass on one of the individual pods, which knocks it out. Ouch. Batista rams Finlay into the post, before a muscle buster for two. MVP enters at #6, well, really, he doesn't want to enter. But Taker made him enter. Batista misses a charge at Taker, so MVP boots Batista, and then Taker. Got a two count. MVP takes a chain out of his bodysuit, and chokes Finlay with it...for a two count. MVP then punches away on Taker which also gets a two count, and it also made Taker bleed. MVP climbs on top of a pod to get away from Taker, but Taker CHOKESLAMS HIM DOWN TO THE CANVAS. Well, MVP's done. Finlay pins him at 22:30.   Taker misses an elbowdrop on Finlay, and soon after that happens, Hornswoggle's head appears in a space between the Chamber and the Ring. Ha! He tosses the shillelagh to Finlay, who hits Batista with it on a Batista Bomb attempt. BUT, Taker just chokeslams Finlay onto the steel at 24:12. He's gone, just like that.   Now that Batista's bleeding, I decided it's time to note that Michael Cole keeps talking about concrete. OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Batista gives Taker the BATISTA BOMB, but it only gets a two count. After a 10 punch in the corner by Batista, Taker gives him a LAST RIDE. Like you didn't see that coming. I hate that spot so much now...cover got two, btw. Batista tosses Taker to the floor on a Taker TOMBSTONE attempt, and then, they fight. Batista torpedo's Taker into the cage once, but on the second try, they both fall backward and the ropes help reverse the hold into Taker's TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER position, bam, three count at 29:26. The Undertaker's goin' to WrestleMania! Match Analysis: Wasn't the best, but the match had good enough action and quality highspots. All you could expect from some of the guys in this match, and Batista/Taker is always good. The match would've likely been junk had they not been the first two in. I'll go with **1/2. ___________________   Edge is with his lackeys, he wants them to step it up tonight. BUT, Theodore Long comes in, and says that those two are banned from ringside. That's too bad!   After some footage of Maria and Ashley at the Playboy Mansion, we move on to... ___________________   Mr. Kennedy vs. Ric Flair in a Career Threatening Match. If Flair loses, he retires.   Blow-by-Blow: We begin, with a Kennedy shoulderblock. Then, he mocks Flair by strutting. How rude. Flair chops away and struts himself, until Kennedy applies a headlock. Flair shoots him into the ropes and gives him a hiptoss, before chopping away a bit more. Kennedy dropkicks Flair in the knee, and applies a half-crab. Flair's selling is still good, but it's sad to watch him wrestle. Kennedy rams the leg into the apron, before applying one of my favorite moves...THE RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR! Kennedy covers Flair for two back on the inside, before applying the regular FIGURE-FOUR. I like that Lil Naitch is reffing this matchup. Flair makes it to the ropes, before Kennedy gives him a rolling fireman's carry slam for two. Flair chopblocks Kennedy after a few seconds of time wasting, then does another, before a FIGURE-FOUR attempt. No to that, as Kennedy pushes Flair into the corner before a rollup for 2. Old ass hangeth out. All the way out... Flair gives Kennedy a kneebreaker, but Kennedy rolls him up for two before something else could happen. Flair with the trip, Flair with the FIGURE-FOUR, and Kennedy taps at 7:14. Flair's got a microphone...limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun called the NATURE BOY. WOOO!   Match Analysis: Better than at the Rumble. Other than that, there's not a hell of a lot you can say. *1/2. ___________________   Finlay's being iced down in the back, before Vince McMahon comes in. Vince's son is going to feel the pain when he faces Vince in a steel cage match on Monday Night RAW. ___________________   Our first big title match is Rey Mysterio vs. Edge, for guess what, the World Heavyweight Title.   Blow-by-Blow: Rey starts with an armwringer and flying headscissors, before a solid kick to the head. Edge misses a charge, but boots Rey anyway, knocking him to the floor. After an Edge baseball slide, he tosses Rey into the steps. Back in and Edge puts Rey in tree of woe position, but slides nut first into the post on his dropkick attempt. A Rey moonsault block follows, as Edge misses a charge and gets DDT'd after a Rey dive off the top for a two count. Edge can't sunset flip Rey, so Rey knocks him into the ropes and gives Edge a 619. His arm hurts, so it takes him a while to springboard...INTO AN EDGE SPEAR. Cover, it's over, Edge retains his title at 5:27.   Match Analysis: Rey had one arm. 'Nuff said. At least he made the match watchable and didn't hurt himself any worse, as far as I know. *3/4. ___________________   Here comes the Big Show...which was a surprise for those in attendance. He grabs a mic, says that he'll be champion again. To prove it, he's gonna attack Rey Mysterio. The guy's in a chokehold, as the camera pans over to Floyd Mayweather in the crowd. The entourage is holding him back, but eventually, Floyd hops the rail and we see both Floyd and Show in the ring. Show goes down to Floyd's size, so Floyd pops him in the nose. 1-2-3-4, then he tries to run out of the building, with Show giving chase. Floyd got away, but Show's face shows the aftermath. His nose is torn up, but for some reason, I've got a feeling that there was a blood capsule or something in his nose. That's way too much blood there. Good angle, obv. Shane McMahon tells Show that what he did wasn't a very good idea. Ya think? ___________________   After Mike Adamle runs down this next match, it's John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.   Blow-by-Blow: They lock-up to start, and Cena covers Orton for two after a takedown. We've got dueling chants, as Orton kicks away at Cena, but Cena comes back with a facebuster for a two count. A Cena back elbow also gets two, but Orton kicks and punches away to knock Cena down. Cena rolls Orton up for two, but Orton comes back with a quick clothesline that also gets two. Cena drops Orton along the top, and follows it up with his top rope standing legdrop, getting another two count. Cena misses a charge to the corner, so Orton chokes away until an F-U attempt. Orton elbows Cena in the head and gives him a European uppercut which breaks Cena's attempt, then stomps all over Cena's body. Mainly on his pec and leg...cover got two. Orton misses a kneedrop, but he goes right to the sleeper, which eventually turns into a chinlock, as you'd figure. Once Cena gets out, he shoulderblocks Orton, and gives him a spin-out powerbomb, leading to the FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE. Orton bails out, leading the two to fight on the outside. They make it in at the count of NINE, and Orton gives Cena the inverted backbreaker he loves so much. Cover got two. Orton places Cena on top, only to be pushed off when he tries to follow. Cena misses his top rope standing legdrop, so Orton gets ready for the RKO. Nope, that's not gonna happen, because Cena just pushed him away and applied the STFU. Orton reaches the ropes and bails out, asking the referee to count him out, because his knee hurts. When Cena turns around, we've got an RKO on the floor. Faker. Cena breaks the count at 9 when getting back into the ring, so Orton punches the referee to get disqualified at 15:49. After the match, F-U, STFU, then Cena leaves.   Match Analysis: Good chickenshit heel move right there. Completely understandable, helped set the Mania main event up really well. We'll go with **3/4...I still have to punish the non-finish even though I liked it. ___________________   HHH and HBK are in the back...HBK prematurely apologizes for what's about to happen inside of the Elimination Chamber. ___________________   Of course, now's the time for the RAW Elimination Chamber. Which is...HHH vs. JBL vs. Shawn Michaels vs. UMAGA vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho.   Blow-by-Blow: Jericho and HBK will start things off. HBK shoulderblocks Jericho after a Jericho hammerlock, then they trade chops in the middle of the ring. HBK sunset flips Jericho for a two count, and after a pinfall reversal sequence, Jericho fires off a northern lights suplex for a two count. Shawn powers out to a backslide, but Jericho comes back with a clothesline and backbreaker. After shooting Shawn into the ropes, Jericho gets caught with a flying forearm, as HBK kips up...as usual. A Shawn inverted atomic drop is given to Jericho, but he misses the flying elbow off the top. Jericho with a facebuster, but misses the LIONSAULT. To the WALLS...but Shawn reverses and tries a SHARPSHOOTER. Nope to that as well, as Jericho rolls him up for two. After an elbowdrop and double collision, #3 enters. His name, UMAGA. Umaga hits both his opponents, tosses Jericho out, and clotheslines the both of them. He has Jericho up for a samoan drop, until Shawn jumps on top of UMAGA's shoulders. So instead, he samoan drops the both of them at once! Whoa. Umaga kicks Shawn out and headbutts Jericho, before following Shawn onto the steel and sitting on him. He now comes back in, gets the best after a slugfest with Jericho, but misses a flying headbutt off the second rope. Shawn elbowdrops Umaga from the top rope, and we get a KICKASS combination submssion move. Jericho's got the WALLS on Umaga, and Shawn's got the CROSSFACE on him. Yeah, awesome. #4 enters, that being JBL, which causes Jericho and Michaels to break the hold. Shawn's busted up pretty bad from the Jericho double collision earlier, which I decided to write down as JBL was giving Jericho a swinging neckbreaker. He puts the boots to Jericho, before giving him an elbowdrop for two. Umaga slams Shawn on the steel, while Jericho's giving JBL a swinging DDT, which gets a two count. JBL backdrops Jericho to the outside, as Umaga sends Shawn into the buckle and onto the steel. HHH comes in at #5, and goes right at Umaga. Knee to the face, before giving both Jericho and Umaga a spinebuster. He DDT's JBL for two, and when Umaga misses a charge on the outside, HHH tosses him into the glass on one of the pods. Jericho gives HHH a facebuster but misses the LIONSAULT, which leads JBL to give HHH the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL. CODEBREAKER from Jericho on JBL, though, and JBL's out via pinfall at 13:45.   In response to his elimination, JBL brings in some chairs and hits everyone with them. Oh, except HHH. Funny how that works out. Jericho's bleeding now, as #6 enters. That's Jeff Hardy. He works over Umaga, before dropkicking Shawn and giving Jericho a front suplex. He launches off Jericho's back into Umaga with Poetry in Motion, before giving a Whisper in the Wind to the former DX members. Umaga superkicks Hardy to end his little run, before giving Jericho a catatonic. Heh. HHH winds up in tree of woe position, so Umaga launches Shawn into HHH, sending Shawn upside down and headfirst into HHH's nuts. Umaga charges HHH through the glass via his ass, then goes back in, only to be given SWEET CHIN MUSIC. CODEBREAKER, PEDIGREE, SWANTON OFF THE TOP OF A POD, and Umaga's gone after the Jericho pin at 19:45.   After SWEET CHIN MUSIC on Jericho, Hardy pins him at 19:54. That was fast.   TWIST OF FATE on Shawn, but HHH tosses Hardy out before the pinfall. Instead, HHH gets the pinfall on Shawn after a PEDIGREE, at 20:25.   We're down to HHH and Hardy. Good. HHH tosses Hardy over the top, but Hardy pushes HHH into the chamber and gives him a DDT on the steel, causing HHH to bleed. HHH tries a PEDIGREE on the outside, but Jeff backdrops HHH back into the ring. Hardy misses a SWANTON, so HHH PEDIGREES him. ONLY GETTING TWO. Surprised by that. HHH grabs one of JBL's chairs that was left behind, but Hardy gives him a lowblow. HHH reverses a TWIST OF FATE attempt, PEDIGREE, and it's all over at 23:55. HHH goes to WrestleMania! Show's over, of course.   Match Analysis: Not only was that the best match I've seen (emphasis on seen) from the WWE in 2008, that was the best PPV match I've seen from them since watching the current product on WWE 24/7. IMO, it was better than HHH/Orton in Last Man Standing, which was fantastic. Just watch the match if you don't believe me. Great drama which wasn't spoiled by knowing who was gonna win, great highspots, no drop in pacing...just great. ****1/2. ___________________   Rating: Good. Originally, I had Orton/Cena rated a little bit higher than I should have, but I knocked it down a bit.   Best Segment: The RAW Elimination Chamber   Worst Segment: Flair/Kennedy. It's really too bad. ___________________   I want to review SNME #31 and get it up by tomorrow afternoon, but I won't be able to. The US is playing England at Wembley, and I'm not going to miss that. I'll try to get it up tomorrow night so that I can move on to something else. I'm probably going to review the Nick Bockwinkel matches that get posted too, because those aren't going to be found elsewhere.
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Review: WWE No Mercy 2007, from Chicago, Illinois, 10/7/2007.

I wanted to watch this, so... ___________________   At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon and William Regal come to the ring. They talk about John Cena's injury, and present a new WWE Champion, who just so happens to be Randy Orton. Yay! Not really, though. He stands there for a long time, and William Regal congratulates him. Orton's supposed to pick who he defends his title against tonight, BUT, Triple H comes down to the ring. He congratulates Orton, but he wants a title match. Orton says no...so HHH makes fun of Vince. And he gets his title shot, right now. The long-ish opening is too much like RAW, meaning that I don't like it. ___________________   So, yeah, it's HHH vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title. It's a good match, albeit a bit truncated, given the later events of the night. No PEDIGREE, no RKO. HHH pins Orton after a roll-up, when Orton charges into the ringpost, on accident, through the 2nd and top turnbuckles. Time of the fall was 11:06, and it was a ***1/4 match. The ending surprised me, as although I knew the results of the event before hand, I didn't know how the results were had. So that was cool. HHH celebrates for a long time, and we cut to... ___________________   Vince being disappointed in Orton, backstage. Then, a WrestleMania XXIV promo. Ok. ___________________   The next match is a surprise match, between Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion), Paul London and Brian Kendrick, who are facing Mr. Kennedy, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade (World Tag Team Champions, meaning the latter two). There were many cool spots in this match, too many to count, at that. I liked when Hardy did the spot where he runs along the guardrail to jump onto his opponent, but in this case, he tripped and fell at the end. I don't think he was trying to do that. Anyhow, Kennedy ended the match by pinning London after the GREEN BAY PLUNGE, at 8:05. That move looks tough to take. **. ___________________   HHH and Batista encounter each other backstage, until Vince McMahon shows up. He says HHH has to defend his title against Umaga tonight. Vince and HHH have the same looking nose. It's creepy. ___________________   The next match is Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker vs. CM Punk for the ECW Title. Good thing this was short, cause I can't look at Viscera for very long. Striker interferes after a Punk missile dropkick, and that gets V DQ'd, at 1:37. So, why is this on PPV again? DUD. V beats up Punk after the match, and Punk does the whole internal bleeding thing. Just, whatever. ___________________   Matt Hardy and MVP have a pizza eating contest next. Maria is going to keep score for Hardy, and Melina is going to keep score for MVP. Hardy wins, and barfs on MVP. MVP had a REALLY hard time not laughing when Hardy did that. Really. Short, and to the point. Well, it really wasn't, but why should I say more? ___________________   A video package precedes the following match between Umaga and HHH for the WWE Title. Of course, the video was about their 'feud'. HHH pins him with the PEDIGREE at 6:33, after Umaga gave him some tough shots to the ribs. Standard RAW match, so there's really not much to say. *1/2. ___________________   Saveus.22 promo. That's been a real success. ___________________   A promo follows, with Ranjin Singh, Khali's manager. Khali is praying to some Hindu god of violence. I thought this was going to be the Punjabi Prison match. It's not, thankfully. ___________________   This is the first Smackdown match of the night. Well, it took long enough. Who the fuck is this ring announcer? He sucks. Anyway, the match is Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio. There's an elaborate ending, so it'll take a while to explain. Rey kicks Finlay in the head with Finlay on the apron, so he drops down, throat first along the 2nd rope. Basically in 619 position. Rey went up to the top and gave Finlay a legdrop, which caused Finlay to hit his head on the ground, outside the ring. So he's knocked unconscious and all, except he's faking the injury. No time given, because the bell never rang to end the match. You could see him peek his head up, deliberately so, so that the viewers at home knew he was faking. Anyway, he gets put on a stretcher, Rey gets all sad, the referee gives the X, and the crowd starts chanting "Finlay." UNTIL, Finlay gets off the stretcher, and attacks Rey. HARHARHAR. I actually liked that. He beats him up bad, until he leaves. **1/2. Match was sound, but not spectacular. ___________________   Vince and HHH again, as Vince tells HHH he'll face Orton in a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH. I generally HATE Last Man Standing matches. ___________________   Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle is next, for the Women's Title. The battle of terrible theme music!!! Phoenix finishes the match with a fisherman's buster at 4:32, in a finish that only establishes that one, if not both of these wrestlers do not know how to work. It was spot, spot, lay around, Phoenix spot, finish. DUD's are in order. Jerry "the King" Lawler interviews Beth Phoenix after the match, she's perfect and this is a new era...but who cares? ___________________   NOW, we have the Punjabi Prison match between The Great Khali and Batista, for the World Heavyweight Championship. There's one thing I just don't get...why weren't the rules explained? At least, I don't think they were. The rules are...you go through the first of the two cages, to get through the first, you call for a door to be opened. You have a minute to get through, or the door is locked, and closed. There are four doors. If you do not get through the doors, you must climb over the first cage. To win the match, you have to climb over both cages. Basically, this is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever seen in wrestling. The match is really bad, and really slow. No wonder Rey was in the last PPV Title Match. All the doors get closed, so both wrestlers have to climb over the first cage. Batista tries to climb out, but Khali pulls him down to the ring, at which point, Khali climbs over the first cage. As he begins to climb up the 2nd cage, Batista climbs up the first, eventually getting over it. As Batista climbs down, he realizes that he needs to make a rash decision. So, he jumps from the top area of the first cage, all the way to the 2nd cage. Batista makes it down to the floor first, because he's much smaller. Honestly, I wouldn't have been too sad had Batista fallen to the ground. I don't care for him. Anyway, Batista retains his title. DUD, and only because of that insane leap. That kept it from sure -*'s. 14:47 was the time. ___________________   The last match of the night is Randy Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Title, but before the match, HHH has an interview with Todd Grisham. This is a dangerous business, and all that. Anyway, I'll just give the rundown of the big spots. HHH pushes Orton onto the ECW announce table from the RAW announce table, which gets a 9 count. In case you didn't know, the only way to win the match is if your opponent stays down for a 10 count. But I think you already know that. Orton DDT's HHH onto a chair, which gets 9 for both guys. An RKO into a chair, much like Raven does/did with the droptoehold into the chair, gets a 9 count. HHH tells Orton to suck it, and falls back down, for a 9 count. Orton slingshots HHH into the ringpost, at which point HHH does a bladejob. These events are in order, but stuff happens between them. HHH hits Orton in the head with the chair, and in an event that's hard to describe, Orton's head is placed between the portion of the steel steps where it connects to the ringpost, and HHH hits him there with a chair. That looked cool. Crowd is loving this, but it only gets a 9 count. Both men climb on the RAW announce table, and Orton gives HHH an RKO. It doesn't break the announce table, though. Still, that's it. HHH can't get up at the 10 count, and Orton wins the WWE Title, at 20:25. ****1/4, and a hell of a match, although LMS matches are never my favorite. Saved the end of the PPV, too. ___________________   Rating: Good. Two *** matches in this day and age gives a PPV a good rating. Not only that, but it was enjoyable throughout.   Best Segment: Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match.   Worst Segment: Batista vs. Khali in a Punjabi Prison Match.   Loudest Sound: HHH, Randy Orton, Batista and Finlay's attack on Rey. Like I said, I try to put two babyfaces and two heels over here.   No Sound: Big Daddy V, Paul London, Brian Kendrick and Umaga. None of them got a reaction. ___________________   I'll post the Starrcade '92 review tomorrow. My hand's not feeling any better, unfortunately.
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