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Trade Deadline Madness.

A lot of things that happen this time of year confuse the fuck out of me, but some things stay the same.   Why trade for Wilson Betemit when you are going to trade for Julio Lugo, despite only having one place to play them?   Why trade one of the best players in baseball for a few nothing prospects?   Atlanta wants to trade Andruw Jones. WHY?   Now, for things that stay the same.   Jim Bowden fucked up again.   The Orioles do not know what they fuck they are doing.   Ditto the Pirates.   The Mets get a Latino player.   The Yankees get what they want without giving anything for it. This simply amazes me. Much respect to Steinbrenner.   Stoneman lived up to his name.   The A's did not trade a pitcher, and the Giants didn't sell one of their veterans.   Kenny Williams does a lot of posturing.   The Cubs fuck up.   There are tons of SAWX rumors, and nothing happens.   I guess the point of this list was to show that the more things change, the more they stay the same. In some cases it's sad, but in others it just serves to let us know which teams are going to be contenders. This is baseball, and this is why we watch.   Winners: Yankees, Reds, Rangers and Dodgers   Losers: Nationals (they fucked up), Phillies, Orioles and Pirates   The winners are the teams that I think may have been pushed over the brink and into the playoffs as a result of their acquisitions, and the losers were the teams that simply did not know what to do with what they had. Jim Bowden is the biggest idiot of all.
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Review: Undertaker DVD, Part 5.

Time for something easy to review.... ___________________   The first match in this part of the DVD is from Fully Loaded 1999. It's for the World Wrestling Federation Championship, and the challenger is, of course, the Undertaker. The Champion is Stone Cold Steve Austin, and the match is a First Blood, End of an Era match. If Austin loses, he can't challenge for the WWF Title again. If the Undertaker loses, Vince McMahon will have to leave the WWF "forever."   Blow-by-blow: First, this mix of the Undertaker's music kicks ass. Austin made Taker bleed earlier in the night, and Taker tells the referee not to worry about that cut. Second, Vince McMahon is a guest commentator for the bout. Austin comes out and Taker meets him in the aisle. They brawl, and Austin swings the Smokin' Skull belt at Taker, but misses. They're by the guardrails in the aisle, and Austin is covering up to protect himself from the rights and lefts that Taker is throwing. Taker knocks Austin into the crowd after a right hand, and throws the steel stairs at him. But they miss, and Austin tries to hit Taker with the steps. Taker kicks him in the gut, throws him over the rail, and rams him into the announce table. Finally they get in the ring, and Taker chokes Austin with his boot. Taker tries to rip the stitches out of Austin's head from attacks on RAW in the previous weeks, then chokes Austin, but Austin chopblocks him after a missed big boot. Austin goes for the left leg, and tells someone out there, "you got this shit." Austin kicks him in the nuts, and for some reason, the crowd's kinda dead. I've never seen this show, so I don't know why. Austin rams the left leg of Taker into the post, and on the outside afterwards, Taker knocks Austin into the crowd. They trade rights, and Taker knocks Austin back to ringside. For some reason I like this match, even though the crowd may not. Taker grabs a chair, and swings it twice, both times missing. He attempts to swing it a third time, and Austin drop-toeholds him into what's left of the steel steps. Austin chokes Taker with a television cable, during the process, he takes a mini-electrical fan and rams it into Taker's face. Taker pushes the ref back in the ring, then trips over the ref and winds up tied in the ropes. Shane McMahon runs in with a chair, and he takes a hard chairshot from Austin to put him on the outside. Austin is gonna hit Taker with the chair, but Taker gives him a big boot. Taker kicks Austin in the groin, and takes off the turnbuckle pad. Steve with a low blow, and a STONE COLD STUNNER. Vince McMahon hobbles to the ring and tries to hit Austin with a crutch because he's hurt, so he can't walk, see. Austin has a chair after he hits Vince, but Taker hits Austin in the back with it. X-PAC (WTF?) comes down to the ring and spinning heelkicks the chair into the face of Taker, and Austin grabs a television camera. Oh yeah, now I remember why X-Pac came down to the ring. He was partners with Kane, and Kane had a match with the Big Show. Who was the Undertakers partner. Anyhow, Austin hits Taker with the camera, and WE HAVE BLOOD. BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD. The ref's down, so the match isn't stopped immediately. Taker goes for the TOMBSTONE, and Earl Hebner sees that Taker's bleeding. We all go "RING THE FUCKING BELL," and the match is over at 15:38. Austin gives Vince a STUNNER, and Triple H comes out. THE ROCK comes out to attack HHH, and we brawl. Taker hits Austin with the chair, and Austin's bloody. Austin hits Taker with the crutch of McMahon's, and Shane gets punched by Taker. Finally, the brawl breaks up. Austin offers to give Vince a goodbye handshake, well, he does that, then gives him a Stunner.   Match Analysis: Wow. People complain about Russo's use of run-ins in TNA, but what I saw there, now THAT was overbooking. It was fun though, and well within the context of the match and other angles that were going on at the time. **1/4, although that may be overrating the match, I liked it. ___________________   This match is from Wrestlemania 17, and it's The Undertaker vs. Triple H. Remember, this all started because HHH said he's beaten everyone, Taker came out and said no, then HHH destroyed his bike. Yada, yada, yada.   Blow-by-blow: The dubbed music of the Undertaker actually sounds pretty good. Like that could be his real music, or something. Unusual to find good dubbed music on this channel... They brawl on the outside, which is when I start the timer, when the action starts. Taker gets the best of it, and punches HHH who flies through the makeshift Spanish Announce Table. Just a regular table, in Dudley Boyz fashion. HHH with a high knee in the ring, and Taker no-sells it. He backdrops HHH, and clotheslines him. An Undertaker powerslam gets two, but he misses his elbow drop. Taker does a flying clothesline and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but HHH armdrags him off the top. HHH with a neckbreaker that gets two, and two elbows to the head of Taker. HHH gets another neckbreaker, this time of the swinging variety, for a 2 count. HHH goes outside and grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, as he gets this sick and twisted look on his face. That's good acting. The referee steals the SLEDGEHAMMER, and Taker slingshots HHH into the referee after a Pedigree attempt is reversed. Taker chokeslams HHH for a 2 count, and because it was ONLY a two count, Taker stomps on the ref and gives him an elbowdrop. He tosses HHH over the top rope and over to the floor, and HHH rams Taker's head into the steps. Taker backdrops HHH into the crowd, and they brawl up to the technical, usually off camera area. HHH hits Taker in the back and the head with a chair, and then wallops him all over the body with it. Taker chokeslams HHH "down to the floor," and I'll be honest, when I saw WM 17 on PPV, I thought HHH was dead. But, as we see on the replay, it was a well-cushioned fall. Taker jumps off the stage thing and elbowdrops HHH, and EMT's have brought out a stretcher to wheel HHH back with. Taker shoves them sumbitches out of the way, and the two men make their way back to the ring. Taker has the SLEDGEHAMMER now, and HHH gives him a nut-shot. HHH has the SLEDGEHAMMER, but Taker with a big boot. HHH goes for the TOMBSTONE but Taker reverses, and there's no referee to make the count. Taker "revives" the official, and picks HHH up for the LAST RIDE. HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER in mid-flight, and the cover gets 2. Taker's busted wide open, and HHH goes up for the 10 punch in the corner. Unfortunately for him, Taker gets the LAST RIDE (which I think looks visually better than almost all other powerbomb variations) for the 3 count at 18:58.   Match Analysis: Fun, and the overly gimmicked chokeslam at the technical area really didn't bother me. A good, dramatic match which made me think HHH would be the one to beat Taker at Mania the first time I watched it. Cool finish too. ***1/4. ___________________   From Judgment Day 2002, this match is for the Undisputed Championship, and it's the challenger, The Undertaker vs. the Champion, Hulk Hogan.   Blow-by-blow: Hogan's ring entrance took a while, and it could give someone a seizure. The lights in front of the stage setup hurt my eyes. Taker's wearing Hogan's weightlifting belt to the ring, and once Hogan gets in, Taker smacks him with it a few times. Hogan finds a way to get the belt away, then hits Taker with it three times. Hogan clotheslines Taker as JR says, "this won't be a classic." No shit, huh. Hogan backdrops Taker and dumps him, and then he goes into HULKAMANIA BROTHER and tears his shirt off. Hogan with an eye rake, but Taker gives him a headbutt on the outside. Still on the outside, Hogan whips Taker into the steps. Hogan with some chops, but Taker gets an armbar and goes up for OLD SCHOOL. Hogan crotches him and gets a superplex (WTF?) for 2. It looked kinda funny. Taker with a chopblock, and he rams Hogan's knee into the ringpost. He wrenches the leg, but Hogan continually kicks Taker in the head to get out of it. They trade right hands, then Hogan misses the BIG BOOT AND LEGDROP, and Taker grabs Hogan's leg in a half crab. Hogan gets to the ropes and both men trade right hands. Hogan misses a clothesline, and Taker gives him the ugliest chokeslam I've ever seen. Hogan kicks out at two, and Hulks up. We all know the routine, 3 right hands, a big boot, and HE DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG, but only gets two. A Taker running DDT gets a 2 count and Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring. Taker goes and grabs a chair, but Hogan kicks it into his face. He gives Taker the LEGDROP, but the ref isn't counting thanks to Vince. Hogan punches Vince and legdrops him, but Taker hits him with the chair and chokeslams him at 12:23 to become the new Undisputed Champion. Undertaker tells Hebner to put the belt around his waist, and he goes and grabs the chair "for his motorcycle." He "Team 3D's" him, you know, cause of what they did to Shark Boy, and that's it.   Match Analysis: Not a DUD, cause I was entertained. And I thought it was better than their match at Survivor Series 1991 so...I have to give it 3/4*. It was kept short, and to the point. That was for the better. If both men had more time for this match, it would have been terrible. With a capital T. ___________________   An overall rating of the DVD will be coming soon, when I post Part 6. Since there's not much content that I haven't reviewed on 24/7 right now, I'll take my time.
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Review: Shorties Section from the update of 11/1.

I'm really amped for this set of matches. I've never seen Vader/Flair.   Again, in chronological order... ___________________   From March 1st, 1976, it's "The Big Cat" Ernie Ladd vs. Bruno Sammartino, for the WWWF Championship. Of course, Bruno's the champ. On this same show, Ric Flair made his MSG debut.   Blow-by-blow: Ladd played at Grambling, and for the Chargers in the AFL, so it fits with the football theme 24/7 has goin' on. Ladd's gigantic. One of the biggest wrestlers I've ever seen. Bruno armdrags Ladd twice, but during the armbar that occurs after each armdrag, Ladd winds up in the ropes. Ladd grabs onto a bearhug and gets a few 2 counts as Bruno's down on the mat, while cheating by putting his feet on the ropes. The official sees the cheating each time, so Ladd breaks the hold, then hipblocks Bruno. Ladd chokes Bruno while shielding the actual choke from the ref, and once the official finally catches him, he hits Bruno in the throat 3 times. Bruno comes back and knocks Ladd over the top rope with a few punches, and Bruno chokes Ladd with his boot. Wait a sec. Isn't Ladd the heel? Strange to see a babyface resort to those tactics in that era... Bruno with a backdrop (Ladd looks funny doing the front flip over. His legs are HIGH in the air. Think Andre.), and Bruno rams Ladd's face into the mat. Ladd grabs a foreign object out of his trunks, and continually hits Bruno with it. Ladd football tackles Bruno twice, then gives him two legdrops. Ladd slams Bruno and heads up to the top rope. He misses a big splash, and gets pinned at 10:19. Apparently the match is clipped, because the announcer said 11:25. I don't believe it, though.   Match Analysis: The rating scale is different for matches that take place pre-1980. For me, anyway. Of course, most would say this match was a DUD. No. *3/4. The ending docks 1/4. Wrestling was different then, so my ratings should be too. The ending came out of nowhere, and I really didn't like it. Prior to that, it was solid. ___________________   I'm not reviewing the Pillman match. Let me explain why.   1. I don't like Stampede Wrestling. The camera makes me nauseous. I don't know why. To some of you, that probably makes me a bad person.   2. It's a 6 man tag, in a promotion in which I don't know the participants. Automatic grounds for a non-review. Sorry. I might come back and do the review in the next week or two, but I doubt it. ___________________   The next match is from Wrestlemania XI, and it's Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. Yes, I'm saving Vader/Flair for last, and this is exactly how I watched them. Taylor brought a bunch of linebackers with him, and Bigelow brought the Million Dollar Corporation. Pat Patterson's the special referee, and Jim Ross enlightens us with the fact that Patterson trained LT. No, not on the actual match broadcast. He would've been taken out back and shot had he said that. I'm one to assume that the reason Patterson is the ref IS because he trained LT. That's why there are special referees in a lot of these celebrity matches, see. That's a guess.   Blow-by-blow: Bam Bam shoves LT, and LT slaps him. LT gives a flying fist to the face of Bam Bam, and he clotheslines Bam Bam over the top rope. Bam Bam misses a charge, and LT gets a bulldog for 2. You know they've shown too many highlight clips of this match when I can remember every spot and I've only seen the match once before this. And I mean, I can remember every spot, exactly as it takes place. Ring position and all. Bam Bam comes back in, and gets hiptossed right back out. The linebackers and the Corporation mix things up, although they don't fight, and Bam Bam takes control. Bam Bam headbutts LT and bodyslams him, then LT gets raked in the eyes. LT is really good at acting like it's a real match. It's sorta business exposing, but he fights with Bigelow for every single move. Even on punches. Bam Bam goes for a Boston crab and gets it, but his weight makes it so that he has to go to a half crab. He can't stay in a squat position for a long period of time, obviously. Bam Bam pulls LT away from the ropes, and applies a variation of the indian deathlock. LT makes the ropes and Bam Bam applies a headlock, but LT back suplexes him out of it. That's an awfully dangerous move for someone with little-to-no wrestling experience to be trying. Bam Bam headbutts Taylor twice, then gives him a legdrop and his (strange looking) moonsault for a one count, only a one count because Bam Bam sold the knee and couldn't cover LT. LT with a gutwrench suplex that looked blown, like he was going to powerbomb or piledrive Bam Bam. Bam Bam with an enziguri and a headbutt, and he goes up top for a DIVING headbutt that gets a 2 count. LT with some shoulder charges in the buckle, then he goes up to the 2nd rope and hits Bigelow with a flying punch for the 3 count at 11:43. DiBiase's embarassed, cause Bigelow got beat by a football player.   Match Analysis: I don't know why Bigelow agreed to do the job. Personally, I would have had it written into my contract that I'd have a run as champion, honestly. If such a thing could occur, but Vince would probably have changed the name of the title. Bigelow should be embarassed, and the WWF should have been too. The pop for LT's win was embarassing. Non-existant, at that. **. ___________________   From Nitro, on the night of July 6th, 1998, we have one of the dumbest business decisions in the history of this country...yes, I said this country, not just the wrestling business; it's Goldberg vs the champ, HOLLYWOOD HOGAN BROTHER, for the WCW Heavyweight Championship. Goldberg beat Scott Hall earlier in the night, so he's "107-0." Apparently JR officiated one of Goldberg's high school football games. That's neat.   Blow-by-blow: So, during Hogan's entrance, he says "he's going to kick GOLDBERG'S......(long pause) BUTT." Watch the clip, and you'll laugh. Hogan also looks like he's wearing a sock on his head. Goldberg starts off with a headlock and shoulderblock, then Hogan grabs onto Goldberg with a front facelock. The TEST OF STRENGTH follows, and Goldberg wins. Hogan gets to the ropes and begins to SCRATCH THE BACK of Goldberg, then he breaks out his weightlifting belt and hits Goldberg with it twice. Goldberg steals the belt, then throws it out of the ring. Goldberg doesn't need that shit. Goldberg applies a full nelson, but Hogan lifts his leg back in order to kick Goldberg in the nuts. Hogan with a clothesline and chokehold, then a scoop slam. He misses an elbowdrop, and gets clotheslined. Hogan bails, and puts his belt back on. Hogan comes back in and dumps Goldberg to the floor, then tosses him into the guardrail. Hogan hits him with a chair three times (this is the kinda shit WCW did that makes no sense. They let this go at random, then disqualify someone for the same thing 20 minutes later.), and on the inside, Hogan slams Goldberg and DROPS THE FUCKING LEG twice. For some reason that again, makes no sense, Curt Hennig's on his way to the ring, when Hogan seemingly has the match in hand. Why? Anyway, Karl Malone and DDP follow, and Malone gives Hennig a good looking DIAMOND CUTTER at ringside. Goldberg kicks out of the cover by Hogan, SPEARS HIM, and looks mean for a little bit. Then, Goldberg JACKHAMMERS him for the pin at 8:12. The commentary in this match was really, REALLY good.   Match Analysis: Let's get the rating out of the way. *. Dumbest thing ever. Ever. Even more dumb is that these two NEVER headlined a PPV against one another. The most surprising thing...Hogan never got his job back, and he did this one CLEAN. If I'm wrong about him not getting his job back, correct me. I'm pretty sure that I'm right, though. When this Nitro gets posted, I'll ramble about this for a long time. Not now. ___________________   The last match I watched yesterday was from Starrcade '93, and it was Ric Flair vs. Big Van Vader, the WCW World Champion. Not the WCW International World Champion. I can't explain, because I have to keep people interested for when entire shows are posted, and not individual matches. That way, I'll be able to save my thoughts about the whole thing, and summarize it. It's a title match, and that DOES need to be noted, cause this was WCW. You never know unless you're told, and even then, you still don't know. Harley Race comes along with Vader, btw. If Flair does not win this match, he must retire.   A little note before the match, the commentary is awesome. AWESOME. Jesse Ventura's commentary is included, so that's a plus. WCW in 1992 and 1993 is also great. Pre-WWF 2000, find me a better workrate period in this country. Can you? I don't care what the haters say.   Blow-by-blow: Vader poses before the match, and the Flair chants start early. They lock-up twice, and each time, Vader tosses Flair across the ring. Flair bails and Vader chases, but that's what Flair wants. So Vader quits running, and calmly enters the ring. Vader headbutts him, and applies a knucklelock. Vader then slaps Flair and clotheslines him, and says, "FLAIR AIN'T MAN ENOUGH FOR THIS." I love Vader's running commentary of his own matches (all quotes from him will be capitalized, along with the usual stuff). There isn't enough of that going on in wrestling today. The fans are dead-ass quiet during Vader's offense. Not because he isn't over. But because they're scared shitless of him. Flair chops Vader, and Vader pushes him out of the way. Flair tries to run away, but Vader catches him and press slams him into the guardrail. The ring seems sorta large for WCW, I have to say. "WHO'S DA MAN," but Flair comes back and runs Vader into the ringpost on the outside. Harley Race gives Flair a big left hand, and Vader standing suplexes Flair into the ring, and then as Flair tries to bail, he does it again. Standing suplexes are when the suplex'er' doesn't go down to the canvas. Vader headbutts Flair, then beats him up with left and right hands. Vader whips Flair into the buckle and we have a Flair Flip, as he tumbles to the concrete floor after nearly colliding with a cameraman. Vader with a stiff LARIAT (yeah, "lariat" when it's stiff, clothesline when its not. duh), but Flair begins to chop him. Vader sells nothing, with a grin on his face. Gotta love him. Vader gives Flair a rough looking fall-down slam, and a clothesline from the 2nd rope. Vader then taunts the crowd, but I can't tell exactly what he said. He takes Flair down, then goes up to the 2nd rope and misses a big splash. Flair gives Vader three overhand flying chops, the 2nd of which didn't even touch Vader. At least he didn't sell it. The third one puts Vader down, and then Flair gives Vader a kneedrop. I'm loving this match. Vader comes back with a clothesline and superplex, after which, he screams, "WHO'S DA MAN." Flair's mouth is bloody, and I don't believe it to be of the blood capsule variety given the nature of Vader's work, so there. Vader misses a splash, unfortunately for Flair, he tries to run into Vader and Vader trucks him. Ouch. Harley stomps on the face of Flair outside the ring, then steps on Flair's throat. See, Harley and Flair had a cage match at Starrcade 1983, which was the first Starrcade. That was 10 years before this, and Flair took the title from Harley for the last time. Meaning that Race never got it back, obviously. So, the random attacks make sense. For a lot of reasons, that among them. Just a small part of a great story being told. In the ring, Vader misses an avalanche after a few chops from Flair. Flair chops him more, but this time, he gets avalanched. Harley tells Flair that "he should quit," and Vader grabs onto that knucklelock again. Flair puts Vader down again with left hands, right hands and some chops, and somewhere in this sequence, Vader's mask comes off. It looks like Vader's having that problem with his eye again. It's not coming out like during that Hansen match, but it's really swollen. After a bit, he starts bleeding from above the eye, probably because Flair potatoed him. Well, Vader did it to Flair, so...Flair rams Vader's left leg into the ringpost, and grabs a chair. Harley's distracting the ref because he has a look on this face that leads the referee to believe Harley's going to punch Flair, and Flair hits Vader with the chair on Vader's left leg, and then onto the head. Back inside, Flair bites Vader, jumps on Vader's left leg, and attempts to apply the FIGURE-FOUR. Vader kicks Flair away from him, though, and tries to go up for the VADER BOMB. Unfortunately for him, he misses. Flair locks on the FIGURE-FOUR, and Harley jumps onto the ring apron. See, kids, this is what a manager is supposed to be. He doesn't steal the heat, he makes people hate VADER more. Not so much himself. Vader reaches the ropes and gives Flair a big boot and elbow to the gut, as he goes up for the MOONSAULT. Holy freaking fuck, he misses and Flair tries to cover him, so Harley goes up top and misses a diving headbutt. OLD MEN ARE FLYING!!!! The referee shoves Race out of the ring, and the crowd goes nuts. Anyway, Flair gets a flying forearm and Vader trucks Flair again, but this time, Vader comes up a little woozy, presumably from Race's headbutt, trips over Flair, and gets rolled up by Flair for what is announced as #11, at 21:09.   He still held the belt when the NWA left WCW, but the NWA stripped him. That's how he lost world titleholder status during that time.. Counting WWF Titles, this was number 14. By my count, others vary. Here are his title wins up to that point, over Dusty, Race, Race again, Kerry, Dusty, Garvin, Steamboat, Sting, WCW proclaimed him champ (+1), Fujinami, Royal Rumble, Savage, Windham, Vader. That's just my opinion. Others definitely vary. His loss to the Midnight Rider in Florida really doesn't count. Anyway...   Match Analysis: Perfect ending to a great match. It wouldn't have made sense to have Vader quit, so that finish is out. Flair can't retire, so that's out. Harley can't directly cost Vader the match, but he has to play a part, given the history he has with Flair. Vader can't get pinned on anything that doesn't look flukish, given his monster heel status. So, Flair trips him and pins him. Simple, right? Of course it is. ****1/2. Hard to give it full marks because it started sorta slow, but it REALLY picked up. Everything after the first, "WHO'S DA MAN" routine was GOLD. Schiavone's over dramatic commentary is too much. "HE PICKED HIM UP" or "HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN" are staples of my childhood. It doesn't disappoint here. Tony sounds like he's truly afraid that Flair's going to die in there. For all those that say Flair always does the same match, have them watch this. And when it's over, tell them kindly..."no." ___________________   Rating will come when I review the next 5 matches that'll be posted in 2 weeks. The quality is abundant in this month's selection. IF my brother's here today, Survivor Series '90 will be next. If not, the NWA show will be. I can watch that with my mentally challenged cousin and he'll mark out for the duration.
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Review: WWF Survivor Series 1995, from Landover, MD, 11/19/1995.

I lied. No ECW just yet, I felt like getting this one out of the way. Let me say, it was a great decision to watch this. ___________________   Vince, MR. PERFECT, and Jim Ross are on commentary, and in case you missed it, Perfect was introduced before the show. This is Survivor Series 1995, also known as "shitty gimmicks galore."   The first match of the night is Marty Jannetty, Hakushi, Barry Horowitz and Bob Holly (The Underdogs) vs. Tom Prichard, Skip, Rad Radford (Louie Spicolli), and the 1-2-3 Kid w/Ted DiBiase and Sunny.   Blow-by-blow: Before the match, during Kid's entrance, he gives the Kliq sign. The things I notice now...anyhow, Razor Ramon tries to attack the Kid, and we see why, as during a Razor v. Sid match on RAW, Kid was the special referee, and fast counted Razor. Prichard and Jannetty get the action going, and Jannetty just runs over to the heels corner and hits everyone. Prichard hits the Kid on accident, and gets backdroped by Jannetty. Radford and Holly tag in, at which point Holly shoulderblocks Radford, then gives Radford a hurricanrana. Well, that's a move I've never seen Holly do. Radford tries to do the same, but gets powerbombed by Holly. Holly slams Radford and legdrops him after an armdrag, then tags in Hakushi. Hakushi gets spinebustered though, and Radford tags in the Kid. Kid gets a splash off the top rope for 2, and does a spinning kick, much in the fashion that he's always done. Skip tags in and tries to give Hakushi a back suplex from the top rope, but Hakushi reverses it into a crossbody. He tags in Holly, who gets a backdrop, but Prichard tags in as well. Prichard gives Holly a gutwrench powerbomb for 2, then slams him afterward. Prichard goes up to the top, but misses his moonsault. Holly comes off the top after tagging in, and gives Prichard a crossbody, which eliminates Prichard at 5:39.   Skip comes in quickly, and rolls up Holly at 5:45, eliminating him. That was fast.   Hakushi comes in with a few rolling kicks(!), but misses a pump splash out of the corner. Skip gives Hakushi a frankensteiner off the TOP ROPE, but he's hurt, so both men are down. These guys are doing some crazy shit tonight. Kid comes in, but is given a springboard elbow, just like the Great Muta's. Hakushi goes up top, and gets a flying shoulderblock for 2. Hakushi slams the Kid, but misses his slingshot flying headbutt. Radford tags in, and Kid kicks Hakushi in the back of the head, which leads to a Radford pinfall at 8:32.   Barry Horowitz comes into the ring for the first time during the match, and the crowd goes nuts. I guess I never really realized how over he was. Kid comes back in again, and he and Radford gives Barry a double back elbow. Kid suplexes Horowitz, and kicks him a few times. Radford comes in and gets a gutwrench suplex for 2, but once Horowitz gets up, Horowitz gives Radford a jawbreaker. A Radford clothesline gets 2, but he doesn't let the referee finish the count, picking Horowitz up at 2. Radford headbutts Horowitz in the nuts, then does the Mr. Perfect-ish neck snap. Funny that Perfect is at ringside, isn't it. Radford gets a northern lights suplex for 2, then starts doing some pushups. Too bad for him, Horowitz rolls him up out of nowhere, and eliminates Radford at 11:47. Heh.   Skip comes in, and Horowitz gives him a hiptoss. Kid tags in, and gives Horowitz a legdrop, leading to the pin at 12:47. Marty, Skip and Kid are the only ones left.   Marty tries a german suplex after Skip misses a charge towards the corner, but he can't get it. Marty rolls through a powerbomb attempt and gets 2, then gives Skip a ROCKER DROPPER. Marty goes up top, but Sunny shakes the ropes, leading to Jannetty being crotched on the top rope. In a strange finish, Marty SUPERBOMBS Skip, leading to Skip being pinned at 15:24. Two things. One, I would never let Marty freakin' Jannetty give me that move. Ever. Two, this move, in the WWF? Goodness.   Kid gives Marty a legdrop from the top rope for 2 as he comes in, and a running dropkick. Kid slams Marty, then goes up top, but misses a rolling senton. Marty gets a dropkick for 2, as Psycho Sid makes his way to the ring. Well, we know who's gonna win the match, if there was any doubt to begin with. Marty gives Kid a facesmash, and a ROCKER DROPPER for 2. Kid grabs the ropes on the pinfall, as DiBiase gets on the ring apron. Sid comes up from behind, now that the referee is distracted, and drops Marty along the top rope, which leads to the pinfall and the win for the 1-2-3 Kid, at 19:07. Finish was crap.   Survivor: The 1-2-3 Kid.   Match Analysis: Yeah, the finish was junk, but the rest of the match was awesome. I've watched a lot of the Survivor Series', and this is likely my favorite elimination match of the bunch. ****1/4, the crap finish to the match deducts a 1/4. But it was still awesome, and well worth watching. Not surprising, given the workers involved. Not a single bad one in the match.   Razor's reaction to Kid winning the match is shown, he pretty much wrecks all the shit in the lockerroom, as for some reason he was with the Undertaker's team. Henry Godwinn's his boy, yo. ___________________   Todd Pettingill's with Owen Hart, Yokozuna and Dean Douglas, who along with Razor Ramon will be part of the Wildcard match later on.   Michael Hayes promotes the Survivor Series 1995 t-shirt, and honestly, this embarasses the shit out of me. They've got him running around under the Dok Hendrix name, promoting their bullshit. Makes me feel weird.   Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Lioness Asuka, and Tomoko Watanabe w/Harvey Wippleman vs. (WWF Women's Champion) Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa, and Chaparita Asari was the next match, and honestly, I can't review it. I have a really hard time reviewing multi-man matches with people that aren't established by the announce team, if you haven't noticed. They need to help a brotha out. That's what they're for, right? Otherwise they're useless. Singles matches are no problem, I can catch on quickly, but a 6 or 8 man tag? No can do. Anyway, the match finished at 10:01, with AJA KONG as the sole survivor, after pinning Blayze with a Shonie Carter-esque spinning backfist. She was made to be the "monster" of the match, and with good reason. Her offense was rough. One of the women hit a SKY TWISTER PRESS, which is just awesome. Match was **, I felt like one or two finishes were screwed up, and the crowd wasn't ready for it.   Survivor: Aja Kong. ___________________   Todd Pettingill is with the Bill Clinton impersonator, and when Bam Bam Bigelow's pyro goes off, his "secret service" agents dive on top of him, making him take over. Fucking lame.   Finally, we get a regular match, Goldust vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.   Blow-by-blow: Goldust's entrance takes way too fucking long. WAY. Goldust starts the match with a few right hands and a thrust to the throat of Bigelow, then chokes Bam Bam in the corner. Goldust bails out of the ring after a Bigelow Irish whip, and slaps Bigelow when he comes back in. Bigelow gives him a dropkick, and on the outside, Goldust misses a clothesline, ramming himself into the ringpost. Inside, and just as they get in, Goldust clotheslines Bigelow over the top rope. What's the point of that? Inside, Goldust gets headbutted, then comes back with a kneelift. Goldust goes to a front facelock, and then tosses Bigelow over the top rope. He rams Bigelow into the steps and brings him back in, but Bigelow gives him a back suplex. He goes for a falling headbutt, but misses it. Goldust practically humps the guy on a cover, that only gets a 2 count. Goldust goes to the chinlock, but changes strategy and gives Bigelow a head vice instead. Bam Bam puts him on his shoulders and drops him, but Goldust comes back with a clothesline. He's not selling anything. A kneedrop gets 2, and we go back to the chinlock, at which point Bigelow goes Gene Okerlund, meaning "FUCK IT," and gives Goldust another back suplex. A clothesline gets 2, and on an Irish whip to the turnbuckle, Goldie fucks it up and falls down once hitting the buckle. He gets back up and walks over to the buckle (which is so business exposing it's ludicrous), and then Bigelow misses a charge, so Goldust gives Bigelow a bulldog which gets the 3 count at 8:19.   Match Analysis: This was all over the place. Junk that had no flow, and I probably wouldn't watch it again. DUD. Really disappointing, but expected, given that this was Bigelow's last match with the company. ___________________   "Clinton" tells Bob Backlund he should run for President, and Backlund can't even make it through his lines without stuttering. That's supposed to be the first sign you shouldn't be doing that segment. As we move to what could be even worse... ___________________   We have the Darkside: The Undertaker, Savio Vega, Henry Godwinn and FATU w/Paul Bearer and a bucket of slop vs. The Royals: Jerry "the King" Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Issac Yankem D.D.S., and King Mabel w/Sir Mo. IMO, this is the worst collection of gimmicks in any Survivor Series match, outside of the midget match the year before. Prior to the match, we take a look back at King of the Ring 1995 (:shudder:), when Mabel won the King of the Ring after interference from Kama, against Taker. After that, we go to a RAW which took place a month ago, when Mabel broke Taker's face. Taker has this Phantom of the Opera thing goin', and I sorta like it. Fits with the ridiculousness of a lot of things on this show.   Blow-by-blow: FATU and Helmsley start the match, and Helmsley does that gay courtsey of his. Since Fatu's makin' a difference, he does the same thing, but only to make fun of Helmsley's. For the children. Fatu gives Helmsley a backdrop, but after a few Helmsley right hands, he tries the PEDIGREE. Doesn't do it though, as he looks over and sees Taker starting him down. After all, Helmsley was standing right next to him. Godwinn and Lawler tag in, but Lawler doesn't want to fight. He tags in his lackey, Yankem, and Godwinn hiptosses the guy. Godwinn bodyslams him and gives him an elbowdrop, but after ramming him into the buckle, Yankem comes back with a back suplex. Helmsley tags in, and chokes Godwinn, as the commentators note Helmsley's undefeated streak in singles competition thus far in the World Wrestling Federation. Helmsley gets a high knee for 2, but gets press slammed as Godwinn gets in some offense. He squeals like a pig, then tags in Vega, while Helmsley tags in Lawler. Vega does this gay dance after a hiptoss, then Lawler does one which is equally as dumb. Vega gives him a dropkick, then tags in Fatu. He rams Lawler's head into the turnbuckle 10 times, but gets kneed by Yankem. Lawler gives Fatu a fistdrop, then tags in Yankem, who slams Fatu and legdrops him. MABEL finally comes in, but misses an avalanche. Vega comes in, but gets slammed by Mabel in Bossman Slam fashion. Mabel gives him a belly-to-belly throw, as in, he threw Vega the whole way across the ring like that. Yankem tags in with a dropkick, and applies a nerve hold. Like I said in the Survivor Series 90 review, that shit DOES NOT BELONG in these matches. Mabel and Yankem choke Vega, and Helmsley comes in with a kneedrop for 2. Mabel clotheslines Vega while Mabel's standing on the apron, and tags Lawler in. He piledrives Vega, but only gets a 2 count. That was a bit of a surprise. Helmsley comes in, and HITS ROCK BOTTOM, courtesy of Savio Vega. I never thought I'd see Vega do that move. Lawler tags in and piledrives Vega again, but Vega no-sells it, and FINALLY, the Undertaker will enter the ring. That no-sell was fucking dumb. He chokes Lawler, and Lawler attempts to make a tag, but there isn't a single guy willing to get in. A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER from Taker finishes the King at 12:18. Kinda figured he'd be the first to go.   Yankem comes in and does nothing, before Taker gives him a flying clothesline. TOMBSTONE, see you later at 12:50.   Helmsley acts like he's going to leave, but Godwinn grabs the slop bucket, forcing Helmsley to make a tough decision. Since Helmsley's a blueblood, he'll take the asskickin'. He gets chokeslammed in, and pinned by Taker at 13:35.   Mabel's the only heel left, and he gives Taker a belly-to-belly, along with a legdrop. Mabel dances, but Taker sits up. I forgot to mention two things. One, Mabel was carried to the ring, and was nearly dropped. If you look at the carrier on the right side of the screen, he's having such a hard time that he looks as if he's shitting his pants. Two, Mabel's sporting an UGLY mohawk. Well, the guy's ugly, so it's no surprise his mohawk is the same. Mo attacks Taker as the referee is distracted, and Mabel just leaves, at 14:24. Taker chokeslams him, but Mo no-sells it and leaves. Bet that pissed someone off.   Survivors: Savio Vega, The Undertaker, Fatu and Henry Godwinn. You mean to tell me one of those couldn't do a job?   Match Analysis: Booking was funny, but it fit. Taker should have been the one to take care of the heels, I'm not complaining. It's a little thing, but the nervehold bugged me, even though the match was shitty. 3/4*, and I'm probably being kind. These matches have action, but it isn't always good action. This show has way too many dead people on it, but none of them played any part in this match. Weird. Anyway, onto part 2, which definitely will be on this review. Just wanted to show where part 1 ends, is all. ___________________   Finally, the Wildcard match. This is an idea which definitely needs to be repeated. But first...   Bret Hart with a promo about his match later vs. Diesel...   Diesel returns the favor with one of his own...   Lastly, we have a promo with Shawn Michaels' team, and Cornette seems to be playing both sides. He was in the interviews with each team. ___________________   Speaking of the Wildcard match, it's Shawn Michaels, the British Bulldog, Psycho Sid, and Ahmed Johnson w/Jim Cornette and Ted DiBiase vs. Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Dean Douglas and (WWF Intercontinental Champion) Razor Ramon w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette. Like I said, Corny's playing both sides. Not only that, but Yoko is the fattest I've ever seen him. Note that I've hardly watched anything WWF from 1996, and what I have watched didn't have Yoko involved.   Blow-by-blow: HBK and Owen start the match, with HBK getting a shoulderblock. Owen gives him a hiptoss and tries to throw HBK out, but HBK skins the cat and gives Owen a headscissor out. Cornette swings his tennis racket at HBK, but HBK grabs it and hits Corny on the ass with it. Owen gives him a belly-to-belly suplex on the inside, then tags in Douglas. He gives HBK a delayed suplex, but Shawn puts Dean hard into the buckle, and gives Dean a flying forearm. An axhandle from the top rope gets 2, but after a missed charge to the buckle, he gets slammed by Douglas, who goes up for a pump splash, and misses. HBK gets a moonsault block for 2, then tags in Ahmed. Ahmed tries to slam Yokozuna, but can't do it. He gets scratched on the back, then Yoko tags in Douglas again. To the chinlock we go, but Dean breaks the hold and tags in Owen instead. Owen chokes Ahmed, and Ramon goes to work on him, then Dean tags in. Ahmed gets a powerslam, then slams HBK onto Douglas, which gets 2. Douglas avoids SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and on the outside, Douglas and Razor get into an argument. Douglas gets in the ring as Ramon is on the apron, and Ramon belts him, leading to Shawn rolling Douglas up at 7:29, so Douglas is gone.   Bulldog and Owen are in, and they fight, despite being managed by Cornette. Bulldog gives Owen a monkeyflip, and then Owen gives Bulldog a spinning leg lariat. Yoko's laughing on the ring apron for some reason, as HBK tags back in, along with Razor. They play up the "we don't fight unless there's ladders involved" thing, and Razor clotheslines him, prior to HBK doing the flying forearm and kipping up. Razor gives HBK the RAZOR'S EDGE, seemingly out of nowhere, but Ahmed breaks up the pin attempt. Razor gives Shawn a kneelift, and after an Irish whip, both wrestlers collide in the center of the ring. Sid finally comes in, and beats Razor up a little bit, but Yoko comes in to help Razor out. Razor and Sid clothesline each other, but Sid goes up to the top rope after, and gets slammed off by Razor, which gets a 2 count. Kick, punch sequence follows, and Sid gives Razor a 1 handed chokeslam, and calls for the powerbomb. He tags Shawn instead, who gives Sid a SWEET CHIN MUSIC on accident. Razor gets two, because Bulldog overjumps his cue and runs in on Razor too quickly. Razor then pins Sid again, and gets 3, at 16:19. Should have done another move to Sid after the pin breakup, as it was, it looked like shit and was business exposing.   Bulldog runs in now, and beats up Razor, which distracts the referee from seeing Sid POWERBOMB HBK. Owen comes in and gives Bulldog a backbreaker and backdrop, then tags Yokozuna. He puts Shawn into the corner, where Shawn does that flip of his. Yoko gives Shawn a nerve hold, and considering that it's Yoko, I'll deal with it. Owen comes in and along with Yoko, both headbutt Shawn, then Owen gives him a suplex. Up top, but Owen misses a diving headbutt. Ahmed gets the hot tag, and he's a house of fire. Quickly as he gets in, he gives Owen the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE, which eliminates Owen at 21:47.   Razor comes in with a bulldog, and the spot gets screwed up a little, as Razor had to chase him down, like Ahmed wasn't paying attention. Ahmed gets a spinebuster after catching Razor unawares, then taunts him on the 2nd turnbuckle. Well, Razor gets up quickly, and gives Ahmed a RAZOR'S EDGE off the 2nd turnbuckle. Bulldog attacks Razor though, so no cover is registered. Ahmed tagged Bulldog while up in the RAZOR'S EDGE, so Bulldog's able to stay in. Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid make their way back to the ring, in case you didn't know, Sid is pretty much Ted DiBiase's bodyguard. Razor gives Bulldog a fall-away slam, but Kid trips Razor, and Bulldog powerslams Razor, eliminating him at 24:07.   Yoko's the only one left, and he pokes HBK in the eye. He slams and legdrops Yoko, so Yoko goes for the BANZAI!!! He misses, and Ahmed comes in, who slams Yokozuna. Bulldog breaks the pin up, because Yoko's his buddy, so Ahmed and HBK clothesline Bulldog out of the ring. HBK gives Yoko the SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and Ahmed finishes the bout with a big splash on Yoko for 3 at 27:23. The crowd goes banana, as Ahmed and HBK celebrate. Bulldog's celebrating too, and it looked so awkward. Funny, at that.   Survivors: Ahmed Johnson, Shawn Michaels, and the British Bulldog   Match Analysis: Weird, but unique. Most of all, fun. I liked that everyone jobbed, and we didn't get any bullshit DQ or countout finishes. ***1/2, and the concept should definitely be revisited. Funny to see faces face faces and heels face heels. I liked what the WWF was doing with Sid right here, although I don't know particularly where it led. Didn't Sid break his leg during a softball game, so the whole thing was dropped? The angle with Shawn passing out happened the next night, btw. ___________________   Pettingill's with "Clinton" AGAIN, and this time, Sunny's sitting on his lap. I guess it was a little funny.   Pictures from KotR 94, and Rumble 1995, the only times Bret has been given the powerbomb by Diesel. ___________________   Now, the main event, for the WWF Championship. The challenger is none other than Bret "the Hitman" Hart vs. the Champion, Diesel. He's Diesel powered, you know.   Blow-by-blow: Both Diesel and Bret untie a turnbuckle pad at the beginning of the match, Diesel was seemingly doing it to psych Bret out, but now that Bret did it too, not psyched out, I guess. Bret puts Diesel into the buckle, but Diesel comes back with a few knees and right hands. Bret goes to the outside, making Diesel chase him, and Diesel complies. He drops Bret on the guardrail, then rams him into the apron. Diesel chokes Bret with his boot, then gets back in the ring. Bret starts kicking Diesel in the knee, but Diesel hits him a few times, getting him to stop. He tosses Bret out of the ring, and whips him into the steps, then rams him into the post. Diesel gets a chair, and hits Bret with it. It has a padded cushion on it, so it's not too violent looking. Rather lame, at that. On the inside, Diesel clotheslines Bret and calls for the jackknife, but he can't get it, cause Bret holds onto his leg. Bret bites him, and rakes the nose of Diesel, while being on Diesel's back. He attacks Diesel's knee, and elbows it a few times. He jumps on it, while it's draped on the bottom rope, and applies the figure-four leglock. Diesel reaches the ropes, but now Bret tries to go for the SHARPSHOOTER. Diesel kicks Bret in the face, so that's the end of that, also, Bret's head hit the exposed turnbuckle as he fell back. Bret rams Diesel's knee into the post after avoiding a charge from Diesel, and Bret applies a leg grapevine, in which he uses a television cord to tie Diesel's leg around the ringpost. Smooth move. Bret clotheslines Diesel from the top rope, cause Diesel can't avoid it. Bret goes to get a chair, but Diesel gives him a big boot. Diesel can't reach the chair, though, so Bret gets to take a few shots at him, to the back and to the knee. Bret gives him an elbowdrop and backbreaker, then goes up top with the chair. He gets crotched though, and slammed off by Diesel. Diesel unties himself, then chokes Bret with the cord. Diesel gives Bret a sidewalk slam, then whips Bret into the exposed buckle, while Bret runs 100 mph into the post. Diesel's selling the leg well, by limping of course, and he jumps on Bret with Bret draped over the 2nd rope. Diesel limps to the corner and gives Bret SNAKE EYES, then tries it again at the exposed buckle, but Bret rams Diesel into the buckle instead. Bret gets a clothesline for 2, and a bulldog from the top rope for 2. A russian legsweep gets 2, and then, he clotheslines Diesel over the top rope. Bret misses a plancha, and when Bret tries to get into the ring from the ring apron, Diesel pushes him off of it and through the Spanish announce table. Back in, and Diesel goes for the jackknife...but he can't pick Bret up. Obviously, Bret feels like a sack of shit. Well, Bret's FAKING INJURY, and rolls Diesel up for the win and his THIRD WWF TITLE, at 24:32.   Diesel's really pissed off about that, so he jackknifes Bret after the match. He hits all the officials that run in, and jackknifes Bret a second time. He tosses the belt to Bret, and yells, "I'M BACK!" Sure you are.   Match Analysis: I really liked the psychology of the match and Diesel's selling, but it started out awfully slow. Is it as good as Flair/Vader? No, I don't think that it is. I liked Diesel's match with Shawn at a later IYH more than this, so this isn't his best, IMO. Well, Flair vs. Vader is my standard for ****1/2 matches, so everything has to be as good or better than that to get a rating above, so I'll go a rung lower and give it ****1/4. I have the Bret DVD, but for some reason, I've never watched it. Dunno why, really.   Show's over. ___________________   Rating: Excellent. I might catch flack for this, but this is one of the best WWF PPV's, from top to bottom. Lot of action, although there were a lot of shitty gimmicks too. I know how shitty the "New Generation" was, but with in-ring quality like this, a majority of the shows are at least worth a look see. By majority, I don't mean a show like King of the Ring '95.   Best Match: Bret Hart vs. Diesel.   Worst Match: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust. Sucked the meat missile, I'm afraid.   Loudest Sound: HBK, Razor Ramon, the 1-2-3 Kid and the Undertaker.   No Sound: Almost the entirety of the women in their match, and Bob Holly. Poor Bob. ___________________   Anyway, PTW has to come soon. Don't know when, but soon.
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Review: Shorties Section from 12-1 to 12-4-07.

I bring GIFTS!!! I'll be posting these in increments of four. ___________________   We're saving the best for last, so it'll be Val Venis' gift, right now. I thought this would be the skit where his dick got chopped off, and next week he said it wasn't, but it's not. Instead, it's Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito from 11/28/05.   Blow-by-blow: Carlito spits in the face of people that aren't cool, obviously meaning Shawn, then knocks Shawn out to ringside. I like when Carlito spits on people. Carlito chokes HBK with his shirt, and rams him into the barrier at ringside. On the inside, Carlito does the move I saw on Wiki was called the Back Stabber, obviously to work on the back of Shawn. Carlito applies a headlock, and takes Shawn down to the canvas. He gives Shawn a shoulderblock when shot into the ropes, and goes for another, but Shawn gives him a hiptoss. Shawn tries to roll up Carlito, and gets thrown back, but misses a charge to the ropes, and SKINS THE CAT, to come back in. Carlito clotheslines Shawn over the top when he gets back in, and gives him a plancha out to the floor. Back in, Carlito gets 2. Carlito beats up Shawn, and now they each trade chops in the corner. Each guy delivers 5 to the other, and Carlito whips Shawn into the corner, where Shawn avoids a charge, and Carlito comes off the 2nd rope with a springboard crossbody for 2. Shawn gives Carlito the flying forearm, and kips up, but his knee buckled. OMG, IT'S A SHEWT!!! No, it really isn't, but anyway, Shawn's knee's in pain, so he rolls out to the floor. Great selljob, to the point where you actually COULD wonder if it was real. Of course it's not, as you see when Carlito gives Shawn a baseball slide. And we go to a   commercial break.   We come back, and Carlito has a half crab applied on HBK. Carlito chopblocks HBK and tries to apply another leglock, but HBK kicks him away a few times, keeping Carlito from applying anything. Carlito misses a charge to the corner when HBK gets up, so HBK tries to climb to the top. Very, very slowly. Carlito crotches him, and goes up for a back suplex. He gets knocked off, so Shawn turns around, and gives him the flying elbow off the top. He didn't exactly jump to do it, either. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, but his knee gives out when he tries to deliver SWEET CHIN MUSIC. A DDT by Carlito gets 2, and Shawn tries for SWEET CHIN MUSIC out of nowhere, but he can't get it, crumpling to the canvas. Then Carlito tries this reverse DDT looking thing, and gets pushed into the referee, after which HBK gives Carlito SWEET CHIN MUSIC, for the win, at 13:44, 10:10 of which was shown, due to commercials.   Match Analysis: See, things like that are why main event wrestlers should have TWO finishers. It didn't make any sense for Shawn to finish the match with a superkick, after the legwork. It was still good though, and I'll rate it **3/4. In some of these young guy vs. old guy matches, I'll say who I thought should have gone over. Shawn definitely should have went over. FWIW, since I found it funny, when I quit watching the WWE altogether after Royal Rumble 2004, Orton was on RAW. I looked at the results for Survivor Series 05 the other day, and he was on Smackdown. Now he's back on RAW. Well then. I don't particularly care for that much switching from brand to brand. Yes, I know that had nothing to do with the last match. ___________________   Chuck Palumbo's gift is from WM 17, the Undertaker vs. Triple H. I'm glad he chose this, but not really. I'm not even going to watch the match again, so it's a copy and paste job. Remember, this all started because HHH said he's beaten everyone, Taker came out and said no, then HHH destroyed his bike. Yada, yada, yada.   Blow-by-blow: This time, the dubbed music is the Ministry of Darkness music. I like. That's as far as I got before turning it off. They brawl on the outside, which is when I start the timer, when the action starts. Taker gets the best of it, and punches HHH who flies through the makeshift Spanish Announce Table. Just a regular table, in Dudley Boyz fashion. HHH with a high knee in the ring, and Taker no-sells it. He backdrops HHH, and clotheslines him. An Undertaker powerslam gets two, but he misses his elbow drop. Taker does a flying clothesline and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but HHH armdrags him off the top. HHH with a neckbreaker that gets two, and two elbows to the head of Taker. HHH gets another neckbreaker, this time of the swinging variety, for a 2 count. HHH goes outside and grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, as he gets this sick and twisted look on his face. That's good acting. The referee steals the SLEDGEHAMMER, and Taker slingshots HHH into the referee after a Pedigree attempt is reversed. Taker chokeslams HHH for a 2 count, and because it was ONLY a two count, Taker stomps on the ref and gives him an elbowdrop. He tosses HHH over the top rope and over to the floor, and HHH rams Taker's head into the steps. Taker backdrops HHH into the crowd, and they brawl up to the technical, usually off camera area. HHH hits Taker in the back and the head with a chair, and then wallops him all over the body with it. Taker chokeslams HHH "down to the floor," and I'll be honest, when I saw WM 17 on PPV, I thought HHH was dead. But, as we see on the replay, it was a well-cushioned fall. Taker jumps off the stage thing and elbowdrops HHH, and EMT's have brought out a stretcher to wheel HHH back with. Taker shoves them sumbitches out of the way, and the two men make their way back to the ring. Taker has the SLEDGEHAMMER now, and HHH gives him a nut-shot. HHH has the SLEDGEHAMMER, but Taker with a big boot. HHH goes for the TOMBSTONE but Taker reverses, and there's no referee to make the count. Taker "revives" the official, and picks HHH up for the LAST RIDE. HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER in mid-flight, and the cover gets 2. Taker's busted wide open, and HHH goes up for the 10 punch in the corner. Unfortunately for him, Taker gets the LAST RIDE (which I think looks visually better than almost all other powerbomb variations) for the 3 count at 18:58.   Match Analysis: Fun, and the overly gimmicked chokeslam at the technical area really didn't bother me. A good, dramatic match which made me think HHH would be the one to beat Taker at Mania the first time I watched it. Cool finish too. ***1/2. Remember, I changed the rating cause of what I thought of the Brock/Taker match at No Mercy '02. ___________________   Gene Okerlund's gift to us, is Hulk Hogan vs. Nick Bockwinkel w/Bobby Heenan for the AWA Championship, and that took place on AWA Super Sunday, in 1983. The date in the description is NOT RIGHT.   Blow-by-blow: Bockwinkel stalls outside of the ring, then comes back in, but bails again. He's scared of the HULKSTER, BROTHER. Hogan gives him a shoulderblock, and pushes Bockwinkel into the turnbuckle. Hogan gives him 2 more shoulderblocks, and Bockwinkel bails to the outside, to meet with Bobby Heenan. Bockwinkel comes back in with a few knees to Hogan's gut, and he tries a backdrop, but Hogan kicks him in the gut, and delivers a few knees of his own to Bockwinkel. Hogan gives Bock a doublestomp, and a backbreaker for 2, as Bockwinkel's feet are on the bottom rope. Hogan charges into the corner and runs over Bock, but Bock comes back with a few punches, which only get 1. Bockwinkel applies a front facelock type choke, and keeps reapplying it whenever the referee makes him break the hold. Bockwinkel covers Hogan for 2 and tries a piledriver, but Hogan gives him a backdrop to get away from the hold. Bockwinkel misses a charge, so Hogan punches away at him, and Hogan's cover gets 2. Hogan gives him a clothesline and elbowdrop for 2, then a shoulderbreaker for 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel a kneelift and a powerslam for 2, but he's unable to DROP THE FUCKING LEG, DUDE. Bockwinkel gives him repeated shouldercharges in the corner and tries a scoop slam, but can't get it, so Hogan falls on top and gets 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel another elbowdrop for 2, on a kickout that was screwed up by Bockwinkel. The ref just stopped counting, and Bockwinkel didn't kick out until a bit afterward. Hogan misses a charge to the corner, and Bockwinkel applies a sleeper. Hogan pulls him over his head and to the canvas, knocking Bockwinkel into the referee. Bockwinkel reapplies the sleeper, and Hogan rams him into the turnbuckle, where the ref is trying to recouperate. Ok, that's overkill. The crowd's shitting all over it, making matters worse. Now Hogan tosses Bockwinkel over the top rope. That's three different ways for a Dusty Finish in one match. Find another with that many. Hogan suplexes Bockwinkel in from the apron, and DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG, for the 3 count and pinfall at 18:11. I love how "Real American" was edited in. It sounds like that was actually the music being played. Anyhow, Gene Okerlund's in the ring, to announce that AWA President Stanley Blackburn has reversed the decision, because Hogan threw Bockwinkel over the top rope. The crowd shits all over it, as they should.   Match Analysis: The finish ruined a good match. Plain and simple. However, this was a classic match. Everything was going good, until the finish. And honestly, the AWA deserved to die a painful death after doing something like that. The crowd was primed for a title change. **1/2. Down from ****, which is where it would have been without that AWFUL finish. ___________________   Ok, when I said I'm saving the best for last, I meant that literally. As in, I'll be posting it at the end of the month! Hahaha, fooled you all. I'll post Steamboat/Flair from the Clash on New Year's Eve. There are multiple reasons for that, but namely because I want to end the year on a good note. I'll be posting more of these on the 8th.
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Review: WCW Bash at the Beach 1994, from Orlando, Florida, 7/17/1994.

My hand is nearly ready to start typing these in full. Nearly, but who knows how long that'll be. Anyhow, nothing will be there to review in full like that until the 15th, at which point I'll probably bring back a full review with Royal Rumble 1988. Fitting in with the theme of the month "Big Bangs and Dazzling Debuts," it's Hulk Hogan's WCW debut. So... ___________________   Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan talk for a while, until we are given a rendition of the national anthem by some guy named Daron Norwood. Who? Next, we see a clip of Sting vs. Ric Flair from WCW Saturday Night. I've heard that match is a very good one, but it's just a clip here. Anyway, Sting was scheduled to challenge Lord Steven Regal for the TV Title tonight. But since he has a lacarated cornea or something from Sensous (their name for her, not mine) Sherri scratching him on the face, after coming through the crowd dressed as a man. After that, Hulk Hogan ran into the ring to save Sting, until Ric Flair got the edge on him after a chopblock. The attack continued until Mr. T and Jimmy Hart save Hogan from Flair. Ok, then. ___________________   The first match on the card is Johnny B. Badd vs. Lord Steven Regal w/Sir William for the WCW TV Title. Yes, Sir William is Bill Dundee. My brother thinks Badd looks really fabulous. Take that for what you will.   I don't like that there's confetti all over the ring during the match, from when Badd shot it out of the Badd Blaster during his entrance. The crowd was into this match, which was definitely a good thing. However, this one was strange. The match didn't get going well until at the end, at which point Badd began to take over the match. He hit Regal with a left hook, which knocked him to the floor, and then he hit Regal with a pescado. He tossed Regal in and came in with a sunset flip, but Regal reversed it (strangely) into a rollup for 3 at 10:40. After the match, Badd attacks Sir William, and then, WCW's crew clears the confetti out of the ring. Thank you. The ending looked really bad, but it was still something good to open the show. **1/2. ___________________   Next, Antonio Inoki's in the ring. Zuh? Well, Steven Regal comes into the ring, and runs down the fact that he's not being given an award, while Inoki is. After talking for a while, Inoki chases him around the inside of the ring, until Regal chickens out and goes backstage. Jesse Ventura then comes out for commentary, prior to... ___________________   This bout is The Guardian Angel vs. Vader w/Harley Race. Guardian Angel = Ray Traylor.   My brother points out to me that Traylor looks like a Russian with the beret he wears during his entrance. He's right. This was a fun one. And Vader gave Traylor the moonsault, which was great. Anyway, Race gave Vader this baton thing to hit Traylor with as the referee was down, but Traylor stole it. The referee then wakes up and sees Traylor with the baton, and he disqualifies Traylor, giving Vader the win by disqualification, at 7:58. He never even hit Vader with the thing, which soured me on an otherwise decent affair. *3/4. ___________________   Mike Tenay and Chris Cruise, who are operating the WCW Hotline, want to speak to Terry Funk, but Funk wants no part of that. Now, for a recap of the feud between Dustin Rhodes, Bunkhouse Buck and Funk. On some show, Terry hit Dustin with a branding iron. And Dustin does a great bladejob, which was a surprise, given WCW's restrictions on blood. Anyway, Dustin wants Arn Anderson to team with him against Buck and Funk, and Arn says sure.   Before that match, there's a video of some silly match before the show. I have no idea what this is. ___________________   And now, we have Bunkhouse Buck and Terry Funk w/Meng and Colonel Robert Parker vs. Dustin Rhodes and Arn Anderson in a Grudge Match.   I'm very interested to see what happens in this match. I don't know what happens here at all. Anyway, Dustin takes an asskicking. Funk acts like a nutcase for most of the match, which is great. Anyway, Dustin finally powers up and hits both opponents with multiple elbows, and when he hits Robert Parker, he decides to tag in Arn. Arn is fired up too...but he gives DUSTIN A DDT. What the FUCK. Ok, that one surprised me. Wow. Funk then covers Dustin at 11:15 for the 3 count. There is monstrous heel heat here. Now the heels go to work on the arm, stomping it and kneedropping it. What a great match finish, ***. There was a gigantic WTF factor there, the crowd didn't expect, and neither did I. Like I said, I try not to find things out about these shows, and not only that, I've never seen this show in my life. WCW post-Hogan arrival to Fall Brawl 1995 is a blank slate to me. Mean Gene Okerlund then encounters Arn in the aisleway, and asks him why he did that. He sidesteps the question, and says that they're going to celebrate. ___________________   Tony and Bobby begin to talk to Hank Aaron, but thankfully, it's time for Part 2, as this conversation is edited out. ___________________   A Jimmy Hart thing (not part of the Bash show) opens up Part 2, and then it's Ric Flair and Sensous Sherri with Mean Gene. I've gotta ask, couldn't they think of a better first name for Sherri? That one sucks. Flair loves the match being live, and worldwide. This isn't on Worldwide, what the hell's he talking about? Sherri says that Flair's the man, and now, we have... ___________________   Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin, for the US Title. This match sounds great, and it should be. Steamboat's entrance with the dubbed music sounds like something out of Pirates of the Carribean. Just sayin'.   I love watching Steamboat chop the shit out of his opponent. Austin has the words, "Dragon Slayer" on his trunks. Thought that was worth a mention. Ventura gushes over Steamboat throughout the match, which is no surprise. He always gives Ricky credit. Unfortunately, this match is a disappointment. I expected far more. There's too much "going through the motions" here, and Tony never fails to disappoint with his "biggest night in the history of our sport" crap. I think that's the first time he's done so thus far. The match gets good at the end, but by that point it was a bit beyond being saved. Steamboat gives Austin a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER after multiple reversals, and goes to the top rope. Before this, Austin tried to toss Steamboat over the top rope twice. You know, because of that retarded DQ rule. Austin then pushes the referee, and the referee goes to make a disqualification. Steamboat then talks to the referee, and pleads for the match to continue and not be ended via disqualification. And the referee listens. Austin then spears Steamboat and beats him up. He throws him into the ropes and misses a clothesline, so Steamboat counters with a crossbody. Austin reverses the crossbody and puts his feet on the ropes, to get the pinfall at 20:06. I expected much, much more from this. A disappointing ***1/4. Still good, but nowhere near what one would expect from these two. ___________________   Next is a WCW Hotline promo, before Bobby Heenan (back on commentary in place of Ventura) and Tony make their predictions of who will win the tag team match that's up next. I didn't pay attention to what they said. Following that, Mean Gene is with the newly formed Stud's Stable. That's what Arn joined, see. Arn talks about the Sid thing without mentioning him by name, and says that this is the real Arn Anderson. ___________________   Ok, the next match is Pretty Wonderful vs. Cactus Jack and Kevin Sullivan w/Dave Sullivan for the WCW World Tag Team Championship. Pretty Wonderful was the team of Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma.   This sounds decent on paper. On paper. In actuality, this is a pile of shit. So much so, that the crowd starts doing the wave during the match. That's gotta be disheartening to the wrestlers involved. This is so boring, there's at been at least 6 minutes of restholds. Anyway, Cactus gets the cold tag, and gives Orndorff a double-arm DDT. Dave Sullivan then gets on the ring apron for some inexplicable reason, and Roma trips Cactus. Orndorff then pins Cactus while Roma holds Cactus' feet down, giving Pretty Wonderful the win and tag titles at 20:11. This was terrible. DUD. Everyone should be ashamed of the shitty effort they put in. ___________________   It's time for the main event, the biggest match in the history of our sport! First Nick Bockwinkel comes to the ring, and then, Shaquille O'Neal. That gets a rise out of the crowd, this being Orlando and all. ___________________   The match everyone's talking about is Hulk Hogan w/Mr. T and Jimmy Hart vs. Ric Flair w/Sensous Sherri for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Well, Hogan's music is shit. Not that I forgot about it, but it's terrible.   Ok, since this match has so much overbooking, I'll give that the rundown. Multiple times Ric Flair pulls Sherri in between he and Hogan when outside of the ring. That's no surprise. Hogan's technical wrestling is solid in this match, and that was a surprise. Ok, a bit later, Sherri grabs Hulk's leg while Hulk is running the ropes. It causes Hulk to turn around, and Flair chops him out of the ring. Sherri then grabs a chair, but Jimmy Hart steals it away from her. Flair takes a back suplex outside of the ring during the match, which was great. Hogan does a faux Hulk-Up, and gives Flair a big boot, which gets 2 as a result of Sherri pulling the official out of the ring. Sherri then hits Jimmy Hart, and gives Hogan a big splash off the top rope. There's a new referee, but Flair distracts him, while Sherri chokes Hogan with her panty hose. Flair then puts Hogan in the figure-four, and Sherri tries another splash on Hogan from the top. She misses, so Hogan knocks her out of the ring, while clotheslining Flair. He gives Flair a figure-four, as Mr. T carries Sherri to the back. But before T gets there, she tosses Flair a foreign object to hit Hogan with. Flair punches Hogan and only gets two, so it's HULK-UP TIME LITTLE DUDE. ONE TWO THREE, BOOT, DROP THE FUCKING LEG for 3 at 21:50. Ok, at first, I was going to call this **3/4. However, there's a gigantic amount of overbooking. I'm not going to deduct anything, for third reasons. First, the segments in between the overbooking are outstanding. The wrestling is crisp, and psychology is sound. Secondly, I feel like I already deducted stars for rating it that low in the first place. Third, should I deduct stars, I have no idea how low I should go. There was just SO MUCH. My rating is still **3/4, with an aforementioned warning that the overbooking is such that it can make the match un-enjoyable. However, I still enjoyed it.   After the match, Shaq hands Hogan the title, and Hogan poses. I was hoping this was the end of the show, but it's not. Hogan gives an interview in the back, and runs into Brutus Beefcake and Jim Duggan along the way back there. Talk about who I would not want in WCW, those two are atop the list. Once he gets back there to talk to Gene Okerlund, he goes into formula Hogan mode. He puts over Johnny B. Badd, Duggan, Beefcake and Brian Pillman(?) as loyal Hulkamaniacs, and rambles for a while, until the interview ends and we go back to Bobby and Tony. Show's over, after they say a few things. ___________________   Rating: Decent. Largely disappointing, IMO. I thought this was going to be a great show, I really did. I nearly forgot to mention that NO babyfaces won on the entire card until the main event. I think that's shitty of WCW. Had I paid for the show, I would've been a little peeved. However, unlike StarrCade '92, I definitely would have bought this in the first place. Not a question about it. That said, there are still things about this show that are well worth checking out, namely Hogan/Flair, and Arn Anderson's turn.   Best Segment: Arn Anderson's turn on Dustin Rhodes. No contest.   Worst Segment: Kevin Sullivan and Cactus Jack vs. Pretty Wonderful. Brutal stuff.   Loudest Sound: Johnny B. Badd, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and all participants in the grudge match. After the Arn heel turn, the crowd really turned down the volume. That wasn't a good thing.   No Sound: Ricky Steamboat, Cactus Jack, Kevin Sullivan, and Steve Austin. Although Pretty Wonderful are Pretty Awful, they got massive heel heat prior to and after their title win. Austin was the only heel to get little reaction. ___________________   The Lakers play tonight, so when I post that "Random Thoughts" thing in a few days, there won't be anything about Smackdown except for what I thought of the booking, if anything at all. I won't be watching much of Smackdown unless there's a blowout in the Laker game. Anyhow, that thing will probably be up Monday afternoon.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-13-08.

Starting things off, was ECW from 1/8/07. Seeing as I took good notes, this'll be an exact copy of them. ___________________   The first match on this show was a 15 Minutes of Fame match for the WWE Tag Team Titles, between the team of Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore and the team of John Morrison and the Miz. The 15 Minutes of Fame thing is basically an ironman rules match. Simple, right?   - I already said how gay I thought Morrison's entrance is, so this'll be the last mention forever. Get rid of the slowmotion stuff, for fuck's sake.   - Yang collides with Miz on the ring apron, and Morrison rolls Yang up while holding his tights for the first fall, with 11:14 remaining. These times are not exact, because it's hard to write and take the exact time of the fall from the timer on the screen at a precise moment. Well, for me, anyway.   - Yang gives the Miz a moonsault press, which gets his team a fall at 6:08. So, it's 1-1.   - The Miz has very little in-ring presence. Not only that, but he doesn't do anything of note. He just punches and kicks, with a resthold or two in-between.   - Ok, now the ending. Moore nearly fucks up multiple aerial attacks, in the leadup to what's obviously going to be a draw. Yang gives someone (unimportant) a moonsault press, which nearly misses...and that gets a 2 count, as the time expires. Didn't care for it at all, as it was clear from the 2nd fall that this was going to be a draw. **. ___________________   I guess Chavo Guerrero gets a 2nd Chance at CM Punk tonight. Uh, why?   The white kid from last week is there again. He gets squashed by Mark Henry, in a bout that ends with the World's Strongest Slam at 1:07. Who cares. *, for the bit of laughter I had when Henry gave him a flapjack. ___________________   A Kofi Kingston vignette followed this, where Kingston knocked out some white guy on the beaches of Jamaica. I didn't laugh, I just thought it was weird. Who knows where this is going.   The Royal Rumble promo this year is great. Thought that should be mentioned too. ___________________   The Diva Danceoff is next, between Kelly Kelly and Layla. Layla is much better looking than Kelly Kelly, which is saying a lot, because I generally like blondes far more than other women. Anyhow, they both do a few shitty dances, and the MC, some girl named Lena (no, not Leena, in case you get confused) decides to enter herself. So she does, and proclaims herself as the winner. This was a waste of time. Who writes this shit? ___________________   Before the main event, Shelton Benjamin cut a pretty good promo. There ain't no stoppin' him now. I hope he puts it together this time and doesn't fuck up what looks to be a pretty good upcoming push. ___________________   And now, the main event is Chavo's 2nd Chance, featuring, well, Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk (ECW Champion). If Chavo wins, he gets a title shot.   - Why should Chavo get another chance? Not only that, but it's kinda weird to see Chavo getting a "top level" push after all this time. I say top level, because nothing on ECW is a main event program. Not to take away from anyone, it just isn't. I can see why the crowd doesn't buy it, after watching the guy get jobbed out during his entire run in the company. I wouldn't either.   - Anyway, we're back from the commercial break, as Chavo has Punk locked in an abdominal stretch. Speaking of breaks, it's hard to rate a match that has a commercial break right in the middle of it. The crowd has emptied out, as you'd figure, and what's left of them are shitting on this match. I think it's ok...   - Punk's offense is good, but the crowd kills it. I had something else written down, but I won't say it, as I already said it over here...INSERT LINK   - Ending time. Chavo takes the turnbuckle pad off, and as the referee's putting it back on (what jackass would put the pad back on in such an important match.. Oh, now I'm using my brain again, something I shouldn't be doing right now. Brain off.), Chavo grabs the ECW Championship belt, and goes to hit Punk with it. The referee spots him, and takes the belt away from Chavo, after which, he disqualifies Chavo at 14:41. So, Chavo doesn't get a title shot. **1/2, based on the premise of the match, finish, and lack of heat. Otherwise I'd have no problem giving ***, which is basically my barometer for saying a +9 minute match was really good. The crowd doesn't care about Chavo, which kills any potential good match against Punk (or any World Title holder) dead. And if they do this match again at MSG during the Royal Rumble card, the crowd is going to shit all over it, even worse.   - After the match, Punk gives Chavo a GO 2 SLEEP. And that's the end of the show. ___________________   I watched both parts of the Ladder Match DVD that are up on 24/7, and there's a few things I want to say about them.   - I've seen the first ladder match with Big Daddy Ritter (JYD) and Jake Roberts before, and didn't care for it. Mainly because I don't like the idea of the ringcrew holding the ladder up for guys to climb.   - I'm only going to review the RAW and Smackdown matches on here, when they get posted on the service. I'm not reviewing the Bret/Shawn Ladder Match because I think it justifies a full review, something which I'm loathe to try on a singular match. Since I have it on tape, I'll review that match, and that one only, when my hand is better. It was hurting yesterday, so I didn't even take notes.   - The Razor/HBK Ladder Match from Summerslam '95 is not nearly as good as the one from WM X.   - TLC I is the best one, not 2, 3, 4 or whatever.   - The WCW Ladder Match from Starrcade 2000 had the most predictable ending imaginable...not only that, but the commentary was as shitty as I remembered it being. Which is to say that it's even worse than the current TNA commentary team. ___________________   I didn't watch Friday Night Smackdown at all, because I was so interested in the Laker game. Seeing as the Lakers don't play during Smackdown for about a month, this won't happen for a while. ___________________   I watched the Territories Roundtable, but didn't take notes. I only have a few things to say.   - Tazz is of little use to this particular roundtable. He doesn't say a whole lot, mainly because he wasn't around in the days of the territories. But there's so much said by the other guys that it really doesn't matter.   - Pat Patterson's stories about San Francisco were great. Just talking about how he was able to be home every night, and all that.   - They talked about the Montreal Screwjob, and how that was common in the days of the territories. Through that conversation, Michael Hayes told a story about Tommy Rich beating Harley Race for the NWA Title. Supposedly that was a double-cross.   - JR's insight about the promoters getting together and talking about killing Vince McMahon after Black Saturday was something I most certainly believe...it doesn't surprise me in the least.   I enjoyed the roundtable, as it was better than the last. ___________________   Ok, I didn't watch the MSG show yet, because I'm sick. I'll watch it tomorrow. So, that, RAW, ECW and probably one more thing will be on the next random thoughts piece, but I might review the PYBO next all by its lonesome, as it features that HHH/Shawn match from December '03 that I love. Basically, we'll see.
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Review: WWF WrestleMania X8, from Toronto, Ontario, 3/17/2002.

While I don't like this show, seeing as WrestleMania VIII is up, I gotta get this out of the way. ___________________ Opening video and all that, but to start the show off, the first match on the card is Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal for the Intercontinental Championship.   Blow-by-blow: RVD attacks to start, and clotheslines Regal. A standing moonsault follows, but RVD misses a charge to the corner soon after. Regal looks for brass knuckles in his tights, but RVD kicks them out of his hand. He dropkicks Regal and goes for the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH, but RVD misses. Regal knees RVD in the face for a 2 count, but RVD follows with a crossbody for 2. Regal gives RVD a drop-toe hold, and a suplex for 2 count. A neckbreaker follows for 2, and then, Regal applies a cross armed choke. He likes that move. Regal's bleeding from the mouth, and RVD misses ROLLING THUNDER when given the chance to hit it. Regal gives RVD a double-underhook powerbomb for 2, but RVD rolls him up afterward, only getting 2. RVD gives Regal a dropkick and a monkeyflip, but he misses a charge to the corner. Regal drops RVD on his head with a half-nelson suplex, and goes for the brass knuckles. RVD kicks Regal so he can't hit RVD with the knuckles, and finishes the bout via pinfall after a FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH at 6:20. New Intercontinental Champion and all that.   Match Analysis: Eh, what do you say. It was a good opener. It was also too short, and strange given both wrestlers style. **1/4. ___________________   Christian cuts a promo next, and we see a clip from RAW, when he beat Billy Gunn. He heels on this second class city that the show's in (being Toronto), and smiles for the camera. What a fellow. ___________________   Christian vs. DDP is our European Championship match...   Blow-by-blow: Christian's music is top-20 of all time. Yeah, I said it. DDP's coming full-circle. If you don't know the story, he drove Rhythm & Blues to the ring in a pink Cadillac at WrestleMania VI. In Toronto. Anyhow, Christian tries to surprise Page, but Page recovers and gives Christian a gutwrench chestbreaker. Yeah, I just said that. He clotheslines Christian ove rthe top and rams him into the retaining wall twice, before bringing Christian back in. Page goes for a 10 punch at the corner, but Christian lowblows him. Ouch. He drops Page along the top rope, and knocks him down all the way to the floor on a charge. Inside, DDP trips Christian and tries to ram him nut-first into the ringpost, but Christian pulls DDP into the post. Christian gives DDP an abdominal stretch, and follows it up with a reverse DDT-backbreaker type thing for 2. Christian goes up to the top, but DDP slams him off, all the way down to the canvas. That's followed up by a spinning sitout-powerbomb for 2. Christian tries for the UNPRETTIER, but instead, he rams DDP into the buckle and gives him a reverse DDT. Then there's a little reversal sequence, which ends with the DIAMOND CUTTER. Obviously, that ends the match, and Page retains his title via pinfall at 6:09. After the match, DDP grabs a microphone and talks a bit, which causes Christian to throw a temper tantrum.   Match Analysis: Would've been really good if it was longer than 6 minutes. But it wasn't, so it was just good. Same rating as the last, that being **1/4. DDP still had the ability to have a good/great match. ___________________   Here's what happened next.   http://youtube.com/watch?v=u1TC8TgrFRI   I put these great promos in, because honestly, I can't sum them up well enough for people to read it. It's just better to post them.   I noticed that you can't embed videos anymore. What the hell is this nonsense? ___________________   Goldust vs. Maven for the HARDCORE Title is our next match...   Blow-by-blow: Goldie has those gold weaponz!11!1! Goludst attacks to start, and beels Maven into the retaining wall at ringside. That looked like it hurt. Goldust gets on the apron after placing Maven on the wall, and he dives out onto him. Goldust then hits Maven with a cookie sheet, and inside, he slingshots him into a trash can. Well, he kinda missed the can, so Maven quickly gets up and dropkicks the can into Goldust's face. Maven cradles him for 2, but Goldust comes back with a neckbreaker for 2. Goldust gives Maven a front suplex, and kicks the handle of a GOLD SHOVEL into Maven's throat. Goldust places a garbage can in the corner, and rams Maven into it for a 2 count. Goldust grabs a garbage lid, but Maven has one too, and they hit each other with them. SPIKE DUDLEY runs down to the ring, and he pins Maven to win the Hardcore Title at 3:17. Haha. Crash Holly chases Spike out of the building, and both Maven and Goldust give chase as well.   Match Analysis: 1/2*. But I love the 24/7 rule. ___________________   Next is a shitty performance by Drowning Pool...honestly, I fast-forwarded.   In the back, Crash Holly rams Spike Dudley into a wall, getting a 2 count. Al Snow's driving a golf cart, and he runs over a ton of boxes on accident, instead of hitting Spike. Spike turns to leave, but Hurricane FLIES into the picture and hits Spike, before covering him to win the Hardcore Title. 24/7 rules, son. HAHA. Bring back the Hardcore Title! ___________________ Kurt Angle takes on Kane, but first, Kurt Angle cuts a promo on Canada. Like you didn't see that coming.   Blow-by-blow: In mid-promo, Kane comes out. Angle hits him with the bell, so he can't be disqualified. The bell never rang! They slug it out once the bell rings, and Angle gives him a german suplex. Kane comes back with (what else) a back elbow, and then a choke toss. He tries for the chokeslam, but Angle pushes him away and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex. Angle chokes away after two clotheslines, and gives Kane a back suplex for 2. Angle goes for the front facelock, but when Kane powers out, he just drops Angle to the canvas like he's nothin'. Kane gives Angle a sideslam, but in response, Angle gives Kane the ROLLING GERMAN SUPLEXES. Three suplexes, at that. It only gets a 2 count. Angle comes off the top rope with a clothesline, but when he goes up top again, Kane clotheslines him on the way down. Kane gives Angle a big boot and a backdrop, followed up by a powerslam for 2. Kane misses a charge to the corner, but he still gives Angle a chokeslam for 2. Kane goes for the TOMBSTONE, but Angle counters the hold with an ANGLE SLAM for 2. The straps come off, and Angle goes to the ANKLE LOCK. Kane powers out after a bit, and gives Kurt an enziguri. Kane goes to the top, but Angle gives him the pop-up belly-to-belly suplex. An Angle Slam attempt follows, but Kane counters it with a chokehold. Angle rolls through the choke, and pins Kane with his feet on the ropes for 3 at 10:43.   Match Analysis: An Olympic carryjob. I mean, wow. *** for what is almost the best match on the card. Haven't seen anything better from Kane, in, like, ever. ___________________   The Hurricane's in the back, trying to hide from the action. He also has a broom, but Godfather's hos are in the room. Yeah, there's a boner joke and all, until the Godfather chases him out. ___________________   Ric Flair vs. the Undertaker is our next match, and there are NO disqualifications.   Blow-by-blow: Hype video and all that, in probably the only match on this show that didn't have some retarded reason for occuring. Flair runs down to the ring and attacks Taker, so they trade blows. They fight on the announce table, until Taker rams Flair into the ringpost. Into the stairs Flair goes, then we go back into the ring. Taker whips Flair into the corner, but Flair can't make it over the turnbuckles. Poor guy. They do the spot again, and Flair makes it over, given a big boot when on the apron for his troubles. Taker sits Flair down in a chair and punches away, so Flair bleeds. Inside, Taker kicks Flair, and Flair flops to the ground. Taker gives Flair two clotheslines, and places him on the top, for a gigantic superplex (the superplex is my favorite wrestling move, you see). It only gets 2, because Taker pulls Flair up. Taker places Flair on the apron and legdrops him, but he only gets 2, for the same reason as the last. Taker goes for OLD SCHOOL, but Flair throws him down to the canvas. That doesn't really matter, as Taker gives Flair a sideslam for 2. Flair chops away, knocking Taker out of the ring, and gets a lead pipe. He hits Taker in the head with it, so Taker bleeds. More shots with the lead pipe and a "keep off" sign follow, as we go back in the ring. Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Flair gives him a low blow and applies the FIGURE-FOUR leglock. Taker chokes Flair to break the hold, and chokeslams Flair for a 2 count. Taker tosses the referee into the turnbuckle, and goes out to get the pipe. ARN FREAKING ANDERSON runs down to the ring, unexpectedly I might add, and gives Taker a SPINEBUSTER, getting Flair a 2 count. When watching this live, I thought it was over. Taker punches Arn to make him bleed, and applies a dragon sleeper, until Flair hits him in the back with a chair. Flair tries to hit him in the head with it, but Taker kicks it back into his face. Flair's unable to take the LAST RIDE, so instead, Taker gives him the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER for 3 at 18:46.   Match Analysis: Really good match, but it was too long. After thinking about it, it's just as good as Angle/Kane, so I'll give it ***. Streak and all that, but Arn's run-in really should've ended the match in favor of Flair. ___________________   Booker T cuts a promo next, talking about Einstein's theory of relatives. I laughed. He had on glasses, too. Good stuff. ___________________ Booker T vs. Edge is the next match, obviously.   Blow-by-blow: Worst feud in the history of feuds. Period. Edge gets the best of the initial punchout, but Booker gives him a shoulderblock. Edge comes back with a dropkick and facebuster, which only gets a 1 count. Booker gives Edge a hotshot, and a spinning heel kick for 2. Booker clotheslines Edge over the top, and comes off the apron onto Edge with a big right hand. Booker goes up to the top when Edge gets back in, and gives him a missile dropkick. Booker follows with a spinebuster for 2, but when he goes back up top, Edge crotches him. Edge gives Booker a hurricanrana with Booker placed on top, but it looked all funny. That's followed up by 2 Edge clotheslines, and a spinning heel kick off the top for 2. Edge gives Booker a slingshot into the turnbuckle, but he misses the spear attempt that ensues. Booker gives Edge a superkick, and entertains us with...THE SPINAROONIE! Booker follows with the SCISSOR KICK for 2, before going for the BOOKEND. Edge says no, and SPEARS Booker for 2. EDGEAROONIE and all that, then the EDGECUTION finishes off Booker for the 3 count at 6:32. Match Analysis: Going through the motions...**. ___________________   In the back, THE HURRICANE is talking to Jonathan Coachman. Mighty Molly is there, and she hits Hurricane with a frying pan to win the Hardcore Title. Ha. ___________________ STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN is going to take on Scott Hall...who's accompanied by Kevin Nash.   Blow-by-blow: Austin in the mid-card boggles the mind, as does the NWO music being dubbed over. Austin stomps a mudhole in Hall to start the match, and gives him a back elbow. Austin follows it up with the THESZ PRESS, and an elbowdrop. Hall bails, but Austin attacks both he and Nash. Hall gets rammed into the steel steps, and they go back inside. Hall clotheslines Austin for 2, and whips Austin into a turnbuckle that Nash pulled the pad off of. Outside Austin goes, where Nash beats him up. In the process, Nash tears his quad. Back inside, and Hall gives Austin a fallaway slam for 2. Hall gives Austin a clothesline for 2, and with the referee distracted afterward, Nash punches Austin. Austin comes back with a spinebuster on Hall, and a STUNNER...but Nash pulls the referee out of the ring during the count and clobbers him. Nash comes into the ring as Hall gets a chair, but Austin gives both a STUNNER. The cover on Hall gets two, as Nash elbowdrops the new referee. Ha. Nash goes out of the ring thanks to Austin, and so does Hall, via a backdrop. Yo. The referees come out and make Nash leave, as Austin and Hall fight on the outside. Hall gives Austin a STUNNER back in the ring, but he only gets a 2 count. Austin pops back up, two STUNNERS, and the win at 9:52. Love how Hall just stood there, looking, well, stunned, after the first of those two STUNNERS. Beer celebration, surprised Hall didn't snag one for himself, harharharharhar. Match Analysis: More going through the motions stuff...*3/4. ___________________   To part two of the program we go, and WWF Axxess. Doesn't need to be covered. ___________________   The next matchup is a 4 Corners Elimination Match, as it's the Dudley Boyz w/Stacy Keibler vs. the APA vs. the Hardy Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   This is probably the hardest match I've had to review so far. It wasn't very easy. APA attack the champions at the start, and Bradshaw will start the match, facing Billy Gunn. Bradshaw tries a fallaway slam, but Chuck tags in. Bradshaw still gives Gunn the fallaway slam, but Chuck tripped him or something. Bradshaw gives Billy a back suplex, and Faarooq tags in. Billy rams him into the buckle and stomps on Faarooq, but Faarooq counters with a powerslam. A DDT follows for 2, and D-Von tags in, with Billy going out. Faarooq gives D-Von a spinebuster, and Billy is given the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL by Bradshaw...but Bradshaw is given the 3D, eliminating his team at 3:25. * for that, it was a mess.   The Hardys both come into the ring and do a bunch of combo moves on their opponent, honestly, this shit is happening so fast that I can't even write it down. The Dudleys set up a table, and Jeff gives Bubba Ray a pescado. Stacy Keibler gets on the ring apron, so Jeff spanks her when she pulls up her shorts as a distraction. Smart move. Bubba gives Billy a BUBBA BOMB, but he misses a charge to the corner. He's still able to give Jeff Hardy a backdrop, for a 2 count. D-Von gives Jeff a suplex for 2, and when Bubba tags back in, he stomps on Jeff's nuts. D-Von gives Jeff a back elbow after the tag, but Jeff responds with a reverse DDT. Matt Hardy and Bubba Ray tag in, Matt gives Bubba a DDT, and slams D-Von. Cause he's a house of fire. I know this part of the review is a mess, but just bear with me. Bubba gives Matt a back suplex, but he misses a senton off the top rope. Obviously, that means Matt Hardy has to go UHHHH and give Bubba a legdrop off the 2nd rope. The Dudleys try to do the WAZZUP headbutt after a few punches, but Billy pushes D-Von all the way down to the floor and through the table that was sitting at ringside. Ouch. TWIST OF FATE on Bubba, SWANTON, and the Dudleys are gone at 11:49. Useless pile of shit waste of time. DUD.   Chuck gives Matt a superkick for a 2 count to start this portion of the the match, so in response, Jeff legdrops Chuck in the lower abdominal area. Matt gives Chuck what would later be known as the SIDE EFFECT, and Jeff tags right back in. POETRY IN MOTION is given to both Billy and Chuck, and then, Chuck is given a TWIST OF FATE. The SWANTON BOMB follows, but Billy gives Jeff a FAMEASSER, for 2. Billy runs in with one of the tag titles, and he hits Jeff in the back of the head with it, giving Chuck the pinfall over Jeff at 13:51. Whadda ya know? The two non-shitty parts of this match (although that is debatable) gave us the best part of the match. I rated this part **. Now, for the overall rating. 3 out of a possible 15 stars is a...* rating. Awfully shitty for a nearly 15 minute match. Add length and how terrible that length was into the equation, and knock down half. 1/2* is my rating for that horrendous spectacle. 2nd worst tag title match at WrestleMania.   (The worst is going to be put on this channel next week...or at least I remember it being the worst.) ___________________   You see, HULK HOGAN wants to go at it alone tonight, so the other members of the NWO will not accompany him to the ring.   After that, Christian hits Mighty Molly with the top half of a two-halved door, and pins her to win the Hardcore Title. Sonofabitch. ___________________   Excuse the copy and paste job. I think this is the best review of any match I've done, so I'm proud of it.   Rock vs. Hogan. That's all the description you need.   Blow-by-blow: The staredown before the bout still gives me chills, even though I've watched this match at least 20 times. Both wrestlers lock-up, until Hogan pushes Rocky to the canvas. He poses, and the crowd goes apeshit. I still mark for this entire match, so everything is going to be insanely biased. Hogan gives Rock a shoulderblock, and poses more. Hell yeah, son! He gives him a clothesline, but Rock comes back with one of his own, and tells him to BRING IT. Rocky gives him the SPIT PUNCH, but Hogan seems deathly terrified of taking a bump over the top, so he scoots out of the ring under the bottom rope. Rocky throws Hogan back in, and clotheslines him after Hogan isn't able to backdrop the Rock. Rock goes for ROCK BOTTOM, but he gets elbowed away by Hogan, and then given a running elbow. Hogan gives him 2 elbowdrops, and a face stomp to boot. Rocky gives Hogan a spear, and the mount punch. Hogan then gives Rock a back suplex, which gets a 2 count. Hogan goes to the ABDOMINAL STRETCH, and then rolls Rock up for another 2 count. He gives Rock the BACK RAKE, and a few chops, before taking him to the corner. Over there, he gives Rock two punches, and bites him. Rocky gives him a few chops (huh), and Hogan misses a charge to the corner, but quickly gives Rock a chokeslam afterward. Hogan takes the tape off his wrists and chokes the Rock with it, and tosses Rock out over the top rope. He rams the Rock into the steel steps, and slams him throat-first onto the barrier at ringside. Hogan begins to take apart the announce table, seemingly to slam Rocky onto it, but the Rock gets there first, and rams Hogan into the table. Rock grabs a chair, but the official takes it away, preventing him from using it. Back inside, Hogan gives Rock a clothesline, and sidesteps when the Rock's running afterward, forcing the Rock to run into the official. Rock comes back with an ugly spinebuster, and the SHARPSHOOTER. Hogan gets to the ropes, but since the ref's out, why break the hold? Once Rock thinks he's done enough, he revives the referee, as the crowd chants "Rocky Sucks." Gee, they love him, don't they. Hogan gives the Rock a low blow, and a ROCK BOTTOM, which only gets 2. Hogan takes off his weight belt now, and hits Rock with it three times. If Hollywood hasn't used his belt yet, the match isn't going to be ending. Of course, he has to take some punishment too, after he misses a punch with the belt on his hand, and gets caught with a DDT by Rocky. Rock grabs the belt now, and hits Hogan with it 7 times. He gives Hogan ROCK BOTTOM, which gets an early 2 count. Oh my GAWD, he's HULKIN' UP! Boom, boom, boom, big boot, DROP THE FUCKING LEG, but it only gets 2. JR was going into raptures about how Hogan pinned Andre with the legdrop, so it's fitting that the move didn't finish the match. Hogan gives Rock another big boot, but is unable to DROP THE FUCKING LEG. Rock gives him ROCK BOTTOM, and sends him down to ROCK BOTTOM AGAIN, then kips up and gives him the MF'ING PEOPLE'S ELBOW for 3 at 16:23. After the Rock celebrates for a bit, Hogan extends his hand in friendship. The Rock accepts the gesture, so Scott Hall and Kevin Nash go to the ring. They thought Hogan was NWO 4 LIFE, but I guess he's not, so they attack him. The Rock runs back down to the ring, and cleans house, along with Hogan. He wants Hogan to pose, so he does. That's the end of WM X8...oh wait, it's not.   Match Analysis: ***. I don't have any problem with those that say the match wasn't that good, but come on. Not only that, but it should've been their only match, and the match at No Way Out 2003 should never have happened. But yeah, the show should've ended here. It would've been the perfect ending, Hogan passing the torch, and then Rocky coming back to help run off the dastardly NWO, who turned on the guy they thought was NWO 4 LIFE. For shame WWF, for shame.   (One last thing, from the present and not the C&P. You know how I said this should've ended the show? Well, this rings ever true throughout the rewatch. Everything else on this show is not worthy of being at WrestleMania. Everything.) ___________________   Lita vs. Trish vs. Jazz is our Triple Threat for the Women's Title match....   Blow-by-blow: You talk about a dead crowd, goodness. Lita and Jazz fight in the middle of the ring before Trish can run down (nice buttshorts btw), and Jazz kicks Trish in the mush when she finally gets there. Jazz gives Trish a BOSTON CRAB, Rick Martel style, and follows it up with a chickenwing toss on Lita. She's dominating the match, and gives Lita a legdrop, for 2. Jazz gives Lita a double-underhook suplex, as Trish goes out of the ring. Lita mounts a comeback with a flying headscissor, and a powerbomb on Jazz for 2. Jazz gives Lita a hotshot, and places her up top, but Trish comes in, ending whatever Jazz had in mind. Trish rolls Jazz up for 2, and reverses a Lita crossbody for a 2 count. Lita clotheslines Jazz, and in response, Trish kicks Lita and gives her a bulldog for 2. Jazz splashes Lita for 2, then gives Trish a fisherman's buster for a 2 count. You know, they're trying to do the whole Jazz thing with Beth Phoenix, and it doesn't work. Trish gives Jazz a reverse DDT for 2, then Lita and Trish get in a little argument. Lita slaps Trish and gives her a backdrop, before giving Jazz a TWIST OF FATE. Lita takes off her shirt, but misses a moonsault from the top, unfortunately. Trish rolls Lita up for 2, but seeing as that failed, she tries to give Jazz a backslide, also getting 2. Lita backdrops Jazz over the top and rams Trish into the buckle, before going UP top. Trish crotches her and gets knocked off the apron, so Jazz makes her way up and gives Lita a FISHERMAN'S BUSTER OFF THE TOP for 3 at 6:16.   Match Analysis: First off, why have the Canadian lose when the crowd is dying/dead. Give them some life. But then again, why have the Canadian win when the crowd is dead. Then it makes it look like the title change means nothing. *1/2, and I would've rated it higher, but a large part of good women's wrestling on this continent is being able to get the crowd into it. They weren't here, but when the crowd does enjoy it, the matches rock. Unfortunately, there are few matches which have fit that billing in the WWF or WWE, whatever iteration of the company you want to look at. ___________________   Christian's about to leave in a taxi, but Maven sneaks up behind him and rolls him up for the 3 count. How many title changes on the whole show have there been, 6? I think it's 6, to this point. Anyway, Maven jumps in the taxi and leaves. Not only did Christian lose the Hardcore Title, he lost his luggage as well. Then he throws a temper tantrum, likely because he lost a 100 dollar pair of underwear or something. ___________________   The (un-anticipated) main event on this card is Triple H vs. Chris Jericho w/Stephanie McMahon for the Undisputed Championship.   Blow-by-blow: Drowning Pool plays HHH to the ring, but this time, I don't fast-forward. Why? Because I like this song, at least as much as you can like a Drowning Pool song. Jericho goes for the knee at the beginning of the match, but HHH just gives him a backdrop in response. Two clotheslines follow, and so does a high knee. HHH sells the leg injury afterward, so Jericho backdrops him over the top. HHH slams Jericho from the top rope to the floor as Jericho tried to leap on HHH, and HHH gives Jericho a suplex on the outside. HHH peels apart the announce tables, but Jericho gives him a few front leg back kicks to prevent anything from occuring. Inside, HHH gives Jericho a spear, but Jericho responds by going right back to the leg. Jericho gives HHH three elbowdrops, and kicks HHH's leg twice, before going to the eyes. HHH responds with a kneebreaker and a FIGURE-FOUR, until Stephanie McMahon forces HHH to break the hold. HHH pulls her onto the apron, and makes Jericho run into her, knocking her down to the floor. HHH then tosses her in, but Jericho gives him a missile dropkick. Jericho rams HHH's leg into the post and applies a leglock soon after, before ramming HHH's knee into the canvas. Jericho slaps on the RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR (original is better in this case), but he can't hold it for too long anyway. Jericho applies a spinning toehold next, and uses the ropes, until HHH kicks him into the buckle. HHH follows that up with a neckbreaker, and a clothesline for a 2 count. HHH continues the assault with the knee to the face, and a spinebuster, which gets a 2 count. Jericho tosses HHH over the top rope to catch a break, and then they both go toward the announce tables. Jericho tries the WALLS OF JERICHO on one announce table (like, what does that add to the move, exactly), but he can't get the move to work. HHH then goes for the PEDIGREE, but Jericho backdrops him onto and through the other announce table. Back in and a LIONSAULT gets 2, twice. Nobody really cares. Little finisher reversal sequence here, which ends in the WALLS OF JERICHO. HHH makes the ropes, of course, like everyone else does. Stephanie gets on the apron to distract the referee as Jericho grabs a chair, but HHH kicks the chair in Jericho's face and DDT's him onto the chair for a 2 count. Stephanie now has the chair, but the referee takes it away...leaving her with no defense against HHH. HHH gives her a PEDIGREE to a substantial pop, but Jericho hits him with a chair, for 2. Jericho goes for the JERICHOGREE or something, but it's not happenin'. HHH rams him into the buckle and gives him the PEDIGREE, to win the Undisputed Title at 18:41. HHH celebrates, to end the show. Match Analysis: It wasn't even a bad match. It was actually a good match...but for that crowd. Man, that killed everything for me. **3/4. The Stephanie shit got really tiresome throughout, to be fair. ___________________   Rating: Decent. Just a regular, standard PPV show.   Best Segment: Uh, Rock/Hogan. Not close, really.   Worst Segment: Dudleys vs. Hardys vs. APA vs. Billy and Chuck. Awful. ___________________   I'll put up a WrestleMania VIII review sometime before or on Wednesday.
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Review: WWF WrestleMania VIII, from Indianapolis, Indiana, 4/5/1992.

One of my favorite shows...a must-watch. ___________________   The national anthem was performed by Reba McEntire. When I was a kid and watched this, my mom liked that. ___________________   El Matador vs. Shawn Michaels w/Sensational Sherri is the first match...   Blow-by-blow: Of course, El Matador is Tito Santana. Not like I had to tell you that. The version of Shawn's theme that Sherri sings is the best. Both push each other at the start of the bout, and Tito gives Shawn a crossbody for 2. They push again and Tito puts Shawn in a headlock, before clotheslining him over the top rope. Tito brings Shawn in with a headlock, but Shawn breaks the hold at the corner with a few shouldercharges. Tito misses a charge to the corner, but in a smart move, he fakes another charge, and takes Shawn down with a headlock right after. Another headlock takedown by Tito gets 2, as does an inside cradle. Shawn tosses Tito over the top on a charge attempt, and gives him a backbreaker for 2 when back inside the ring. To the chinlock we go, but when Tito makes a comeback attempt, Shawn superkicks him. Shawn goes for a side suplex, but Tito counters and gives Shawn the FLYING JALAPENO, to knock Shawn out of the ring. Tito rams Shawn into the steel steps, and on the inside, he gives him a kneelift. An inverted atomic drop follows, as does ANOTHER flying forearm, this time to the back of the head. Shawn bails and Tito tries to bring him in with a slam, but Shawn uses the top rope for initial leverage and picks up the pinfall victory at 10:38. After the match, after Shawn's posing, Bobby Heenan says, "there's the star of the 90's." No kiddin'.   Match Analysis: A good opener, by WrestleMania standards. You know, many other WrestleMania's have lesser openers than this, hence the "good" title. I'll give it **3/4. The WWF must've thought highly of this match, because they put Shawn up against Randy Savage on the UK-only PPV that occured soon after the event. ___________________   The LEGION OF DOOM come to a little interview set-up for (obviously) an interview, with Gene Okerlund. Paul Ellering's being introduced, they talk about destruction and other nonsense that I don't entirely comprehend. That's all.   Sean Mooney is with Jake Roberts in the back, for another interview. The past footage shown highlights when Jake shut the Undertaker's hand inside of a casket on Paul Bearer's "Funeral Parlor" interview segment. Jake hit him a few times with a chair, too. Anyway, this is a great promo. Like almost every other big match promo Jake gave. Jack Tunney said that the snake will not be allowed at ringside, so Jake will do this alone. ___________________   Jake Roberts vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer. A grudge match.   Blow-by-blow: These are two of my favorite characters, so I'm biased. I didn't realize how great Jake's new entrance music was until I watched this match. Roberts tries to avoid Taker's attacks, and he does, by clotheslining Taker over the top rope. Taker pulls Roberts to the outside, and rams him into the ringpost, before sending him back in. Taker chokes Roberts for a really LONG time, before giving him an elbowdrop. Taker follows it up with a flying clothesline, but Jake responds with the DDT. After taunting and a few cheers, Jake gives Taker a short clothesline. ANOTHER DDT follows, and Jake goes to the outside to chase Paul Bearer. Taker sits up and makes his way to the outside, where he gives Jake a TOMBSTONE, before rolling Jake back into the ring for the three count at 6:42.   Match Analysis: Taker squash to even further establish him as a main event player...otherwise, there's nothing to see here. Notable for the end of Jake's WWF run and that's it. *. ___________________   Time for copy & paste....but there's a promo with both men that I find to be one of the funniest I've seen. "Love the way your mama used to make them sammidges."   It's Bret Hart vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper for the Intercontinental Championship. I deleted all the other nonsense that I put in the title when I first posted this, I don't know what I was thinking.   Blow-by-blow: Thankfully, they show the pre-match promo. I'll review that when the whole event is posted. Bret's in his all pink attire, and I don't know who the referee is. Both men trade armdrags before Piper takes Bret down to the canvas. Piper has his arms locked around Bret, and Bret runs and ducks down so that Piper goes out under the top rope. Clever. Piper spits at Bret to establish that he'll be playing the heel tonight, then we have a test of strength. Piper chops Bret after they exchange armwringers, and he rams Bret into the turnbuckle. Piper chops him more, and Bret gets a running dropkick. Bret plays possum on the canvas, holding his shoulder, then rolls Piper up for a 2 count. I think that's the first time he did that in the WWF, I'm not sure though. Piper slaps him, and now IT'S ON. Bret crossbody's Piper to the floor (see what I said about Piper liking that spot) even though it took a while for both men to get to the floor, and Piper holds the ring ropes open so that Bret can come back in. What a guy. Piper makes the referee check Bret for weapons, and Piper slugs Bret in the face with his left hand as Bret's head is down, so obviously, Bret couldn't see him. Wink, wink. Bret blades off the punch (blading was a no-no at the time) and Piper rams his head into the buckle. Piper with a bulldog that gets two and a dropkick for 2, but Bret comes back with a sunset flip for 2. Piper with some lefts and rights for 2, then a Bret flying forearm puts Piper out of the ring. Piper comes back in and both men clothesline each other. Piper goes up to the top as Bret is playing possum AGAIN, and he drapes Piper's feet on the ropes, then rams his face into the canvas. Here comes the usual, Bret with a inverted atomic drop, suplex, russian leg sweep and backbreaker, but Piper blocks the SHARPSHOOTER. Bret goes up to the 2nd rope for his elbowdrop, but he eats Piper's boot on the way down. The two combatants trade punches from their knees (I was going to say "trade blows from their knees," but for some reason, I didn't. Hopefully you can make sense of it.) and Piper rams Bret into the referee. Piper clotheslines Bret out, then rams him into the steel steps. Piper grabs the ringbell, but thinks better of using it. Cause he's a good guy at heart, 'ya know? He tosses the bell out and puts Bret in a sleeper hold, but Bret kicks the turnbuckle pad in the corner, and the momentum puts Bret on top of Piper for the 3 count, and the win, at 13:50. I can't describe the finish any better than that, sorry. It was like Bret-Austin at Survivor Series 1996.   Match Analysis: I won't say too much, but this match is WAY underrated. I don't see what keeps this from being a great match, considering that most people don't put it in that category. It told a great story, and moreover, helped launch Bret on his push that culminated in him winning the WWF title later in the year. Would it have been the same had Bret beaten the Mountie (or insert mid-card heel here) at WM 8 to get the title back? No, of course it wouldn't have. ****1/4. One of my favorite matches. ___________________   Bobby Heenan introduces LEX LUGER, from the World Bodybuilding Federation. MWHAHAHAHAHA. Luger calls Gorilla Monsoon "fat," so Gorilla jumps out of his seat. That was funny. Then Luger drinks a glass of milk, because it does a body good. ___________________   The next match is an 8-man tag, as the Nasty Boys, the Repo Man and the Mountie are taking on Jim Duggan, Virgil, Sgt. Slaughter, and the BIG Bossman. Before the match, the heel side cuts one of the funniest promos I've ever seen. You must see it. Anyhow, Ray Combs of Family Feud fame does this little comedy bit on the heels, saying that he surveyed 100 people. They chased him out of the ring when he finished the speech up.   Blow-by-blow: Everyone brawls, and all the heels get clotheslined, before bailing to the outside. WAIT A SECOND, Bobby Heenan has a special announcement. SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. Ok, now back to the action. Duggan and Sags start the match, and after a Duggan clothesline, Sgt. Slaughter tags in. Knobbs also tags in, and Slaughter gives him a chestbreaker. A back elbow follows, and Bossman tags in. Bossman misses a charge to the corner though, so Repo Man comes into the match. Bossman gives him a shoulderblock, but he misses a splash. Repo tries to jump on Bossman, but Bossman quickly turns over and punches him in the nuts. Ouch. Virgil tags in and gives Repo a dropkick, then a crossbody off the top rope for 2. The Mountie punches Virgil in the head so that Repo can gain control, and Repo does, with a back suplex. Now everyone brawls, Sarge hits Knobbs with a roll of tape, and Virgil pins Knobbs for the victory at 6:32. Match Analysis: Just one of those "get everyone on the show" tag matches. Nothing wrong with that. 1/2*. ___________________   Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair are with Sean Mooney, and they're also in possession of a photo of Miss Elizabeth. Who knows what's inside the envelope. They plan to unveil it on the big screen when Flair wins.   Randy Savage's door is shut for Gene Okerlund, he grants no interviews before this match. ___________________   And now, one part of the co-main event, this being Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair w/Mr. Perfect for the WWF Championship.   Blow-by-blow: Lots of bad blood here. Macho's wearing gold...foreshadowing, perhaps? Savage chases Flair around the ring, and attacks him in the aisle, before Perfect can pull Savage off of Flair. Flair gets Savage inside the ring, but Savage clotheslines Flair and knees him in the back. Savage goes up for a 10 punch, but Flair tries to bring him down with an inverted atomic drop, only to be clotheslined. Savage gives Flair a back elbow for 2, but on a charge at Flair, Flair backdrops Savage all the way to the floor. Yo. Savage's back hit the apron on the way down, so this looked a bit more rough than the other times that Savage took this move. Flair chops away and rams Savage into the apron before bringing Savage back in, where he gives Savage a suplex for 2. A Flair back suplex also gets a 2 count, as does a cover after a few chops. Flair gives Savage a kneedrop, then sends him outside, ramming him back-first into the ring apron. Then with Savage on the ring apron, he suplexes him in, for a 2 count. Savage finally comes back with a neckbreaker after a few punches, then Flair goes up to the top. Flair gets slammed down to the canvas, and then given a backdrop. 2 clotheslines follow as does a Flair flip, then Savage clotheslines Flair when Flair's on the apron, for a 2 count. Savage clotheslines Flair over the top, then goes all BOMBS AWAY down to the floor. Flair gets rammed to the steps as he's bleeding, and Savage gives Flair a suplex, on the floor. In we go, and Savage gives Flair a double axhandle for 2. Savage goes up again, and this time, he gives Flair the FLYING ELBOWDROP. Perfect pulls Savage out of the ring on the cover, so Savage chases Perfect. Perfect tosses an INTERNATIONAL object to Flair (had to wait long as possible to pull out that phrase), thusly, Flair hits Savage with it. The cover only gets 2. Perfect hits Savage in the back with a chair as the referee is distracted, which brings Elizabeth down to the ring. Flair begins to work on Savage's leg, with a kneebreaker and the FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK, as he uses Perfect for leverage. Savage reverses the hold as the referee spots the cheating, and when both stand up, Savage cradles Flair for 2. Flair tries to give Savage a kneebreaker, but Savage flips over and rolls up Flair while HOLDING THE TIGHTS for the THREE COUNT at 18:05. OMG, TWO TIME WWF CHAMPION MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE. Bobby Heenan says that he absolutely MUST leave the commentary position, and he does. Elizabeth came into the ring to celebrate, and now, Flair's making a move towards her. He kisses her, she slaps him. Savage enters the picture, and begins to beat the shit out of Flair, at least until officials intervene. Of course, Savage and Elizabeth celebrate, to end the show. OH WAIT, we've still got a whole lot more.   Match Analysis: Would've been the perfect moment to end a show on, amirite? Too bad it didn't. The things that knock this match down are the same things that knock Flair vs. Hogan at Bash '94 down, although to a lesser extent. Yeah, there is a ton of overbooking in this. Much of it is completely unnecessary. As for what is unnecessary, I don't really need to say, I'd rather have other people figure it out. The only part I believe isn't excess is Liz coming down to the ring. You can get there other ways than with Flair knocking Savage cold with a foreign object. Still, ****1/4. A damn good wrestling match, despite all of that. The overbooking wasn't what made the match great. ___________________   Sean Mooney is with Mr. Perfect, Bobby Heenan, and Ric Flair, cause Flair has a LOT to say. Flair says that Savage is going to be claiming many falsehoods now, and that's what they are, false. The crazed look in Flair's eyes is the best thing on this entire show. Just being honest.   Mean Gene is with Savage, and this isn't over at all. He wants Elizabeth to take the title and go, then he says he'll do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get a hold of Flair. I'm still pissed that we didn't get a proper blowoff to this feud. ___________________   Now, we look at a flashback from the WrestleMania VIII press conference, in which Hulk Hogan was named the #1 contender. Sid Justice really didn't like that, as he stated in an interview. At Saturday Night's Main Event #30, he showed his true colors. During a match which featured he and Hulk Hogan taking on Ric Flair and the Undertaker, Sid left the Hulkster in the ring, while he was being worked over by the heels. Brutus Beefcake tried to get all tough with Sid and make him stay, but when Sid reached back to punch Beefcake, Beefcake let him go. Remember, Beefcake had a messed up face, unfortunately, Sid didn't punch him. Then the WWF would've had reason to keep Beefcake off TV forever.   To be fair, Beefcake didn't stick around much longer, because Sid destroyed the Barber Shop on Wrestling Challenge. Sid had shaving cream all over his face while he wrecked the place. Ok, now enough of the professional sounding writing. Lastly, we get to see a video of Sid destroying a bunch of jobbers, Virgil among them. ___________________   Before this next match, Rick Martel cuts a promo, namely describing how "Indians" know nothing about fashion. Haha. Obviously, the next match is "The Model" Rick Martel vs. Tatanka.   Blow-by-blow: Prior to the bout, some Native Americans were doing this little performance in the ring. Surely to keep the fans in the arena awake, because it was a long time between the end of the Savage match and the start of this one. The Model is one of my favorite gimmicks, like, ever. Does that make me a homosexual? Tatanka hiptosses Martel to start the match, then slams him twice, causing Martel to bail out. Martel comes back in and rams Tatanka into the warrior, but Tatanka returns the favor. Martel misses a charge to the corner, but he comes right back with a chokeslam. Martel tosses Tatanka over the top and brings him right back in for some reason, giving Tatanka a backbreaker inside of the ring. Tatanka gives Martel a backdrop as his comeback is being made, and then a tomahawk chop. Martel responds with a scoop slam and clothesline, but Tatanka gives Martel a crossbody for 3 at 4:31.   Match Analysis: Just like the 8-man tag. A match to fill out the card. Better than the other, though. *1/4. ___________________   Sean Mooney is with Money Inc., and seeing as IRS knows it's tax time, they have a lot of collecting to do, from the Natural Disasters. The Disasters are with Mean Gene, and they blabber a whole bunch of nonsense. Why were these two babyfaces, again? ___________________ The next contest is, of course, the NATURAL DISASTERS vs. Money Inc. w/Jimmy Hart for the WWF Tag Team Championships.   Blow-by-blow: Earthquake and IRS look like they're about to start the match, but really, they can't decide who's going to start. DiBiase comes into the match, but Earthquake tosses him into the buckle, then clotheslines DiBiase's partner to follow. Earthquake works on IRS and Typhoon comes in, giving IRS a hipblock. Typhoon steps on IRS' tie, and then rams him into the buckle multiple times, before missing a charge to the corner. DiBiase comes in and chops away, but Typhoon comes back with a headbutt. Typhoon misses a charge at DiBiase and goes over the top to the outside, where IRS rams him into the steps. Inside, and IRS gives Typhoon an elbowdrop for 2. Follow that up with a double back elbow, and a DiBiase axhandle off the 2nd rope for 2. Then there's a double collision, and Earthquake tags in, along with IRS. Earthquake gives him a clothesline and a scoop slam, before SHAKING THE FOUNDATIONS OF THIS VERY RING. Hart and DiBiase then pull IRS out, and leave, getting counted out at 8:37. Match Analysis: Well, that sucked. BUT, it wasn't the worst tag title match at Mania. That's on the next show. 3/4* for a general waste of time. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Brutus the Barber...uh, why? Brutus talks about HULKAMANIA, but I'm not listening. ___________________   Owen Hart vs. Skinner is our before the main event filler...   Blow-by-blow: Right from the get-go, Skinner spits some chewing tobacco on Owen. GROSS. Skinner gives Owen a shoulerbreaker, and a reverse DDT for a 2 count. Skinner tosses Owen over the top, Owen skins the cat to come back in, and rolls Skinner up for 3 at 1:10.   Match Analysis: Uh, good while it lasted? *. ___________________   Now, the big hype for the big match.   Harvey Wippleman and Sid are with Mean Gene, talking about how he's the master, and how Sid rules the world. He says it's Hogan's last match. We see a video of Vince McMahon thanking Hogan for what he's given to the WWF, and that Hogan doesn't know whether or not this is his last match. Then we cut back to Sid, and Sid says he doesn't really care what Hogan had to say, cause he RULES THE WORLD. ___________________   Of course, the main event is NOW, and that's Sid Justice w/Harvey Wippleman vs. Hulk Hogan.   Blow-by-blow: Harvey's at the ring to introduce Sid, during which Gorilla Monsoon says that he calls Sid, "Psycho Sid." Ha. Sid attacks Hogan at the beginning of the bout, but in response Hogan knocks Sid out of the ring and keeps him out. A big clothesline follows, so Hogan tears his shirt. Crowd is going batshit at the moment, so the two wrestlers stare down. Sid gives Hogan a knee and a rake of the face, but Hogan responds with a few rights that knock Sid out of the ring. Now we go to a LONG TEST OF STRENGTH, that Sid wins when he knees Hogan. Sid gives Hogan a big chokeslam (to a positive reaction), and he cuts a promo during the middle of the match. MWAHAHAHA. Sid punches Hogan in the kidney, then hits him with Harvey's doctor bag on the outside, twice, before sending Hogan in for the NERVE HOLD. Super, super long on that, but Sid ends Hogan's little rally with a sidewalk slam. Sid gives Hogan the POWERBOMB, and of course, it only gets 2. HULK-UP, big boot, SLAM, DROP THE FUCKIN' LEG, but Hogan only gets a 2 count. As we all know, Papa Shango was supposed to run into the ring. He did not. Not only did he not, he wasn't even close to getting there in time. Harvey runs into the match to get Hogan DQ'd at 12:26, so Hogan tosses Harvey onto Sid. Sid stands there like an idiot waiting for Shango, and when Shango finally gets there, he and Sid attack Hogan. The ULTIMATE WARRIOR'S music hits, and then the place really goes nuts. Bobby Heenan does too, and now, the Warrior cleans house. A chairshot from Sid does absolutely nothing, so he bails out. Now Warrior and Hogan pose to end the show.   Match Analysis: See, now that I've watched it again, I can understand why people said that Kerry Von Erich was the Ultimate Warrior. No lie when I say that I could not tell the difference during that run-in. Match was absolutely terrible. 1/2*. The Warrior run-in is something I watch multiple times whenever I watch the show. Can't help it, mostly because I love to hear Heenan's reaction. ___________________ Rating: Great. Two ****+ matches equals great. Not the best WrestleMania up to that point, but close.   Best Segment: Uh, I prefer Bret vs. Piper to the rest. Maybe I'm alone on that.   Worst Segment: I have to pick something...the 8-man tag wasn't the worst, because of Ray Combs' funny little comedy routine. LOD's promo was. ___________________   WrestleMania IX review will be up sometime. With the NCAA tournament occuring, who knows when.
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Going in a new direction.

So, I guess this thing is going to become my Dodger/Kings/Lakers rant blog. I've got a lot to say after every game, and I guess this is going to be my platform to say it. After the Dodger game tonight, I'll update again.
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Predictions for Thursday's NCAA Tournament Games

This tournament is a crapshoot, so why not post my bullshit predictions? I'll separate them by the sites of the games.   Lexington, Kentucky. Games are from the South bracket.   (1) Buckeyes (29-3) vs. (16) Central Conn. St. (22-11). Ohio State's going to win this game by 50 points. That's the great analysis that you could only find on this blog.   (8) Mormons (25-8) vs. (9) X (24-8). This is a tossup. I'll take Xavier. They've got something to prove, and they're playing much closer to home than Brigham Young. Plus, BYU has an Ainge on their team. For that, they can go to hell. Xavier by 6.   (6) Cardinals (23-9) vs. (11) Cardinal (18-12). I'm going to pick a lot of the #11 seeds. This pick is based on my knowledge of Stanford, having watched them a gajillion times. Brook Lopez is a force on the inside. Stanford by 10.   (3) Texas A&M (25-6) vs. (14) Pennsylvania (22-8). A&M's a Final Four pick of mine. They'll get a 20 point win.   Sacramento, California. If SC would have been playing in Cowtown, I'd use my FFM's to get up there. The first two games are from the West bracket, and the 2nd set are from the East Bracket.   (2) F UCLA (26-5) vs. (15) Weber St. (20-11). Weber State has a shooter's chance. That's all they've got, because with their lack of athleticism they'll need to rain 3's on UCLA to keep it close. I really don't see that happening, so UCLA by a comfortable 25.   (7) Indiana (20-10) vs. (10) Zags (23-10). If Gonzaga had Heytvelt, I'd pick 'em. They don't, so they lose an edge in what will likely be a typical Sampson, slow, boring ass game. Indiana by Fo. ______________________________________   (3) Wazoo (25-7) vs. (14) Oral Roberts (23-10). Wazoo is starting to fall back to earth. Oral Roberts is the earth that Wazoo will hit. No analysis, just an Oral Roberts upset after a late comeback.   (6) Vandy(20-11) vs. (11) G-Dub (23-8). I just don't think that Vandy's that good. Sue me. GW by 7.   Winston-Salem, North Carolina. All 4 matchups from the East bracket.   (1) North Carolina (27-6) vs. (16) Eastern Kentucky (21-11). I don't think UNC should have received a #1 seed. They won't do anything to prove me right in this matchup.   (2) Hoyas (26-6) vs. 15) Belmont (23-9). This will be the biggest beating of any non-#1 seed game taking place in the entire tournament. I like Georgetown to go all the way, but that's not what this blog is for. It's for picking the matchups that are set.   (7) BC. (20-11) vs. (10) Knight U. (21-12). I haven't been feelin' the BC love all year. That said, I don't like Texas Tech very much either. SO, this will probably be a great game. BC in OT.   (8) Marquette (24-9) vs. (9) Sparta (22-11). The 2nd best 1st round matchup. I've got a feeling that one of these teams is going to get blown out, and I don't see Michigan St. having that ability. Marquette by a nice +15.   Buffalo, New York. First two games are from the West bracket, 2nd set is from the East bracket.   (3) SHIT Panthers (27-7) vs. (14) Wright St. (23-9). This game is going to be much, MUCH closer than anyone thinks. Pitt survives in the same fashion that Florida did when they had Mike Miller.   (6) Dook (22-10) vs. (11) VCU (27-6). This is going to be the biggest shitkicking of Dook I've ever seen. VCU by 15. Duke's white guys are going to get ran out of the building. ___________________________________________   (4) Terps (24-8) vs. (13) Davidson (29-4). This is going to become a trendy upset pick by the networks over the period leading up to the tournament. I really don't see it. Maryland by 13.   (5) Butler (27-6) vs. (12) Old Dominion (24-8). I hate how the committee matched these two teams together. I thought that they both had Sweet 16 potential. OT game here, I'll take Butler.     Tomorrow I'll hit up the Friday games. Comments, complaints and anything else you can think of are welcome.
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3.21, Teh Sopranos.

Ok, so I rented the 1st disc of Season 1 from the library a few days ago and just finished it. I thought it was cool, but not ass-blastingly overwhelming, so what I'm trying to ask is, is it worth it to continue on? I love watching almost anything m0b-related, so I just wanna know if it's worth it.   If anyone comes across this and wants to answer my question, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT.   Predictions for the Thursday and Friday NCAA tourney games will be made tomorrow.
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Review: NWA 12/28/85.

This should be good, what with the built-up matches for this show and all.   It's the usual hosts, David and Tony.   Dusty Rhodes says he's getting a haircut soon..OK. ___________________   Sam Houston is up against Tony Zane...and this is a boring squash, that ends with a Houston bulldog at 3:40. All Sam Houston squashes are boring. 1/2*. Zane needs to wear a shirt. ___________________   Tully Blanchard's out to talk about 1986 and the TV Title tournament, and I learn that Harley Race was involved. If there is a tape of this tournament, I must have it.   Jim Cornette follows with a promo about how the Midnight Express are going to beat up the Rock n Roll Express, and he rambles on like only Corny could do. Great promo. ___________________   And guess who, it's the Midnight Express vs. Mark Cooper and Josh Stroud. Bobby Eaton and Stroud start, both ME's stomp on Stroud, and Cooper comes in. Corny runs his mouth through half the match, and it's absolutely hilarious. Stroud comes back in, and gets hipblocked by Eaton, and Dennis Condrey comes in with a scoop slam. An elbow follows, and both Eaton and Cooper come in. Eaton dumps Cooper to the outside, and comes off the top rope to the concrete with an elbow to the head of Cooper. Condrey chokes Cooper, and Eaton slams him on the inside. Eaton then comes off the top rope with a kneedrop, and a Condrey lariat finishes at 3:17. Now kids, this is how you squash. *3/4. ___________________   In the next match, we have one half of the National Tag Team Champions (don't ask), Arn Anderson vs. George South. Lockup, Arn just gives this guy nothing the whole match as Arn works on the left arm, a hammerlock slam highlights that. Arn finishes things up out of nowhere with the Gourdbuster at 3:10. *. See, the difference between last week and this week, is that the squashes are short, and entertaining. No bullshit, no Barbarian 5 minute match. ___________________   Ric Flair has something to say about ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE, WHOOOOOOOOO and that NOBODY, NOBODY can beat THE WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.   WHOO. ___________________   Rocky King is facing Mac Jeffers next. WTF? These two are practically jobbers. Boring as fuck, to boot. Rocky King finishes with an ugly powerslam, after offense that consisted of another powerlam, and front face lock, at 3:58. 1/4*. ___________________   Before this match, Magnum TA has to say Ric Flair is overrated. I summarized that, btw. O RLY?   Jim Jeffers is facing Black Bart, and they both trade right hands. A Jeffers rollup gets two, and Bart replies with some forearms. A Jeffers crossbody gets two, and there's a TEST OF STRENGTH. Jeffers monkeyflips Bart, and dropkicks him. He follows with an armbar, and Bart slams him in response. Bart tries to slam him again, but Jeffers rolls him up for two. Jeffers gives Bart two dropkicks, but misses the 3rd, and Bart legdrops Jeffers for the pin at 4:40. *1/4, but Black Bart gave Jeffers WAY too much offense. ___________________   Jim Cornette's out again, and his mom sent Tony Schiavone a tie. But Jim likes it so much, he'll keep it for himself. I was able to jot that down, because his mouth was running 100 miles a minute. I couldn't get anything else. ___________________   Now, the last match of the SuperStation Championship Challenge Series, is for the US Title, and it's Magnum TA vs. Ole Anderson. Champ is bolded.   Blow-by-blow: Both lockup, and Ole applies a wristlock on Magnum. He misses an elbow, and they square off and measure each other up. Magnum with some right hands (he does this a lot, we'll call it fighting back), and Ole knees him in the stomach. Magnum's head gets pounded into the turnbuckle, and an Ole bodyslam gets a 2 count. Ole continually applies a crossface (no, not like the murderer) and it gets broken in the ropes, and he does it again, and again. A "Let's go Magnum" chant gets started, as Ole works on the left arm of Magnum. He locks Magnum's arm up, and punches and headbutts it. Magnum fights back and returns the armwork that Ole was giving him earlier. Ole with an eye gouge, but a Magnum slam gets two. Ole with a knee to the head, and Magnum's trapped in the corner. But he fights back, only to be thwarted as Ole pulls Magnum through the turnbuckle spacing, and into the steel ringpost.   commercial break   and we're back, as Ole has applied a front facelock. But ARN ANDERSON is at the ring, and DUSTY RHODES BRUDDA HARD TIMES BRUDDA is there to neutralize any added help that would be given by Arn. Magnum fights back, but Ole ends it with an elbow. Ole goes up, but Magnum hits him with his fist on the way down. A Magnum back elbow gets 2, but Ole gives him a big boot after an irish whip. Ole slams Magnum's head into the mat, but Magnum doesn't quit. Magnum with a backdrop and dropkick for 2, a Magnum small package attempt occurs, but both men are stuck in the ropes. Ole goes back to the eyes, and rams Magnum's head into the turnbuckle. Magnum returns the favor, and does the ten punch count at the turnbuckle. Magnum misses a legdrop, and both men slug it out. Double shoulderblock follows, and these two take their first rest. Magnum headbutts Ole, but it hurts Magnum more than it does Ole. Ole back to the eyes AGAIN, and he follows with a scoop slam. He stomps on Magnum, then whips Magnum into the rope, but Magnum shoulderblocks him twice. Ole then elbowdrops him for two, 2 counts. Ole tries to cheat like Ric Flair on a rollup, but the ref spots it. Magnum dropkicks him and follows with a double axehandle from the top rope for 2, but the bell rings. HOWEVER, Jim Crockett says there must be a winner! Ole leaves, and we go to a commercial break as Ole comes back to the ring. Ole with a scoop slam, and some elbow drops, but he misses the 3rd. Magnum is tripped by Arn Anderson, so Dusty comes over to take care of Arn. As that goes on, Magnum rolls up Ole for the win at around 21:00. Wow.   Match analysis: Does it get better than this, on a televised program? I don't know. I took off 1/2* for the commercial break toward the end of the match (that may not be fair to both guys, but I did it), but this ALONE makes the show worth watching. Both men went at it, and didn't let up. Great match, but it probably would have been even better with 10 more minutes. ***1/2. ___________________   Jim Crockett says that we'll have a special edition of World Championship Wrestling on Friday, February the 7th, on TBS, where the fans pick the 4 matches that will take place on the show. I hope, HOPE that WWE 24/7 shows this, but I doubt it. ___________________   The next match, is for the NWA WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, DADDY. It's the champion, NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR, vs. Ronnie Garvin.   Blow-by-blow: The two men shake hands, and they lock up. Garvin with a hiptoss and two flying headscissors, but Flair powers out. Both chop each other, and Garvin gets a shoulderblock. Flair with a hiptoss, but he misses an elbow. Garvin with a hiptoss of his own and a short armscissor, and they chop. Garvin's were harder than Flair's, so Ric bails out to the floor. Flair's "gonna kick your BUTT," so Flair chops him. Garvin with a few right hands and headbutts, then some chops and a roll-up, but it only gets a 2 count. Front facelock by Garvin, but Flair stomps on his arm. Flair with some rights and chops, and Garvin with an eye gouge to counter. A Garvin backdrop and elbow gets a 2 count, and back to the front facelock. The two wrestlers have a war of chops, but Garvin stops that with a headlock. Flair with a right to the chest, and he throws Garvin to the floor. On the floor, Flair rams Garvin's arm into the steel ringpost. Flair with some blows to the chest of Garvin, and   commercial break   we're back, with Flair choking Garvin. Flair mounts Garvin and punches him in the mouth, and chops him. Garvin with some rights, and we have our first Flair Flop. And now Flair gets whipped into the buckle, and we have a Flair Flip, as Flair goes over, and out to the floor. Garvin with somemore hard chops, and a Garvin crossbody block gets two. Flair begs off, but Garvin chops him until Flair pokes him in the eye. Now Flair takes over, as he gives him a back suplex and kneedrop for 2. Flair with some chops, then Garvin blocks his suplex attempt. Garvin gets the suplex, then a sleeper. Flair with a shinbreaker, and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL. If school consists of Garvin headbutts, chops, and a bite of the nose, you're right. Flair chops him some more, and chokes him too. Garvin gets a shoulderblock, and THEN A FIST OF FUCKING STONE TO THE MOUTH, which is followed up with a backdrop. Flair with a headlock takeover and they do the bridge, and backslide out of that spot, with Garvin doing the powering up and backslide, which gets a 2 count. Whew. Garvin hits him with another FIST OF STONE for two, and Flair crotches Garvin along the top rope when he gets up. Flair throws the referee out of the way, and DUSTY RHODES is down at the ring as the bell rings at 15:39, which I will assume is a double DQ. Dusty with the figure-four, but the Andersons attack. This looks as if it'll be a repeat of the angle with Dusty trapped in a cage, but it's not. Babyface wrestlers such as Magnum TA and Sam Houston fight off 3/4ths of the soon to become, Four Horsemen. Ole, Arn and Flair cut a promo afterward, and Flair says he beat Garvin, damnit. He looks possessed, honestly. Like Ken Shamrock, sorta.   Match analysis: Simply put, a great match. Definitely the best televised match of that year (unless there's something I'm missing, and nothing from Starrcade counts). A clean finish would only add to the rating, but as of now, this is the best Ron Garvin match I've seen. Both guys went all-out for 15 minutes, and I appreciated it. **** is the rating, I could only add 1/4* more if the finish were clean. Excellent stuff. ___________________   Italian Stallion is facing Pablo Crenshaw now, and this is a boring squash with Stallion hitting a powerslam to win at 3:10. *, I could have done without that. ___________________   JJ Dillon has a promo in which he really, REALLY foreshadows the formation of the Four Horsemen (but if you didn't know any better, just another group) and he says that HE was the one that paid for Baby Doll to go to Acapulco and leave Tully alone for a while. WELL.   Dusty Rhodes follows that with his own promo, where he destroys the desk of the announcers. He needs room, and he wants Ric Flair now. And if Flair's not going to come and get it, Rhodes is going to bring it to him. And he'll do it now. ___________________   Tully Blanchard vs. Kent Glover is next, and Tully works on the right leg, with a spinning toe hold. David Crockett says there's trouble in the back, so he bails on the broadcast. Back to the spinning toe hold, and a Tully slingshot suplex finishes at 2:12. 3/4*. I'm starting to get used to seeing these jobbers every week, and I'm going to be picking favorites soon. ___________________   That's all.   As for the show...   Rating: Great. Whenever you get two, long, GOOD TV matches such as the two that took place on this show, it's a good TV show. That's the best wrestling TV show I've seen from the 80's, hands down. The two matches in the middle are worth tracking down, if you don't have WWE 24/7.   Best match: Ric Flair vs. Ronnie Garvin. Lots of brawling, but it was great.   Worst match: Sam Houston vs. Tony Zane. A boring squash. ___________________   And that's it, the next thing I post will probably be a review of Halloween Havoc '89, and that'll come on Sunday unless my brother's girlfriend doesn't come over.
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Review: WWF Survivor Series 1994, from San Antonio, TX, 11/23/1994.

Like I said....but this one was a hard one to finish. Very long. ___________________   The beginning of the show starts with the Survivor Series teams gameplanning (that a word?) for their respective teams...Gorilla Monsoon and Vince McMahon are on commentary. That won't be good.   The first match is the Teamsters: (WWF Tag Team Champion) Diesel, (WWF Tag Team Champion) Shawn Michaels, "Double J" Jeff Jarrett, Jim the Anvil Neidhart, and "The King of Harts" Owen Hart vs. Da Bad Guys: (WWF Intercontinental Champion) Razor Ramon, The 1-2-3 Kid, the British Bulldog, Fatu, and Sionne (The Barbarian)w/Captain Lou Albano and Afa.   Blow-by-blow: For some reason, the Headshrinkers are wearing boots. This will come into play later. Seemingly, fireworks just came out of HBK's shoulderpads. WHOA, DUDE. Both teams won't leave the ring for quite a while, but Kid and Owen start the match. Fatu's having problems with his boots, as Neidhart comes in instead. He gives Kid a shoulderblock, but Kid comes back with a dropkick. Neidhart gives him another shoulderblock, and tags in Jarrett. Jarrett avoids a charge to the corner, and Kid gives him a spin kick. Jarrett misses a sunset flip, and Kid covers him for 2, and then tags in Sionne. I don't know why Samu ever left, so... Anyhow, Sionne gives Jarrett a press slam, and charges into the corner, but Jarrett gets his feet up. He goes up top for a clothesline, and gets in, but only getss a 2 count. Owen tags in, as does Bulldog, and they both trade the armwringer sequence that Owen likes to do, with the kip-up and all. Bulldog slingshots Owen into his teams corner, and they all take their turn at beating up Owen. The crowd liked that. Bulldog gives him a press slam, but gets enziguri'd by Owen afterward. Owen and Neidhart gives Bulldog a clothesline, as Anvil tags in, and Anvil pulls on Bulldog's hair for a bit. Bulldog clotheslines both Owen and Neidhart, then gives Neidhart a delayed vertical suplex. Fatu tags in, and gets a headbutt off the top rope, but the boot bothers him, keeping him from making the pin. Because Fatu's wild, see. Anyway, Fatu gets a powerslam, then tags in Razor Ramon. Jarrett gives Razor an armdrag, then struts, and then takes him down, and gives him some paintbrush type slaps on the head. Razor comes back with a clothesline, and then gives Jarrett another, putting him over the top and to the floor. Razor gives him a fallaway slam on the inside, then tags in Kid, and fallaway slams him onto Jarrett for 2. Jarrett applies an abdominal stretch, but Kid reverses, and Jarrett reverses that, tossing Kid out to the floor. Jarrett tries to suplex Kid in, but can't, so Kid takes his legs out, and tags in Fatu. Owen tags in and gives Fatu a spinning leg lariat for 2, then rams Fatu into the buckle. Cause he's Samoan, that does nothing. Owen gives him a DDT, which doesn't do anything either, so Fatu gives him a superkick. Diesel comes in off the tag and turns Fatu inside out with a clothesline, then gives him the JACKKNIFE for the 3 count at 13:31.   That was fast. Kid gives him a sunset flip off the top, but can't get Diesel to the canvas, so Diesel picks him up by the neck, throws him, then gives him the JACKKNIFE for 2 at 14:12.   Sionne comes in, and gets a JACKKNIFE from Diesel at 14:44. Yeesh.   Bulldog comes in, and Diesel gives him a big boot to put him outside, then Owen, Jarrett and Neidhart keep him from getting back to the ring, counting Bulldog out at 15:02.   Razor rolls up Diesel, but only gets 2. He's the only one left, you know? Razor gives Diesel a bulldog off the top after a missed charge, but HBK breaks the cover up. Diesel gives Razor Snake Eyes, as the crowd's been going nuts pretty much for the duration of the match. Diesel tries to do it again, but can't, so Razor slams him and calls for the RAZOR'S EDGE. Diesel counters with a backdrop, and gets the big boot. Diesel gives Razor the JACKKNIFE, then HBK tells Diesel to hold up Razor for SWEET CHIN MUSIC. HBK hasn't tagged in yet, if you couldn't tell. HBK gives SCM to Diesel on accident, so Diesel's pissed at HBK. He chases HBK to the back, and hits all of his teammates on the way there. All the Teamsters get counted out at 21:46...as we go to Todd Pettingill in the match. He's with a frantic HBK, who's trying to leave the arena. Well, he gets in his car and leaves, but not before throwing his tag team belt on the ground. Guess the title is vacated.   Survivor: Razor Ramon.   Match Analysis: Good booking. Can't think of much else to say, it was a good way to establish Diesel as being unstoppable, justifying him getting a title shot and winning. I liked it, but there was a lot going on. Almost too much, really. ***1/4. ___________________   Great, just what I was looking forward to. It's the Royal Family: Jerry the King Lawler, Queazy, Sleazy and Cheezy vs. Clowns R Us: Doink, Dink, Wink and Pink. Save us all.   Blow-by-blow: Doink starts the match with an enziguri, and Lawler tries to do the same, but can't. All the Doinks run over Lawler as Lawler's on the canvas, and Lawler's team does the same. Please stop. Lawler puts Doink down, and Lawler's midgets try to run over Doink, but trip and fall. Doink slams Lawler three times, and all Doink's midgets pin Lawler, but they're not legal in the match, so no count. Lawler slams Doink, and his midgets do the same, but he tosses them away. This shit is not funny at all. Dink runs in and puts a Burger King crown on Lawler, so Sleazy comes in, and we have a chickenfight. Anyway, Sleazy tries to put Lawler on his shoulders, but falls, putting Lawler flat on his face. Dink headbutts Cheezy, and the midgets do a criss-cross sequence. Doink's team runs Lawler's over...then Lawler grabs a foreign object out of his trunks, and hits Doink with it. All Lawler's team chokes Doink, but Doink rams Lawler into them. Doink gets a hiptoss, then Doink's team chases Lawler's around the ring apron, but Doink goes for a springboard crossbody, which gets reversed by Lawler after grabbing the tights, for Doink's elimination at 10:32.   Queazy and Dink tag in, and they both trade biting each other on the ass. Then Dink bites Lawler on the ass, as Wink and Cheezy tag in. Wink grabs Cheezy's beard and tags in Dink, who comes in with an axhandle off the top, and a monkeyflip, but Queazy covers Wink with his feet on the ropes at 13:06. Came out of nowhere.   Nothing happens for a minute, pretty much, until Lawler slams Cheezy on Wink for a 3 count at 14:27.   Dink gets a suplex as he comes in, and gives Cheezy and Queazy a double noggin-knocker. Dink goes up top for a CROSSBODY, but Lawler breaks the cover, and Queazy distracts the referee, so Sleazy can reverse the pinfall for the win at 16:03.   Survivors: The entire team of the Royal Family.   After the match, all Lawler's midgets chase Lawler outside of the ring, after Lawler said he hated short people, and then Doink's midgets came out from under the ring, cornered Lawler, and chased him down the aisle, at which point he turned around and Doink threw a pumpkin pie in his face. Wow.   Match Analysis: I think this may have been the worst comedy match I've ever watched. Why'd the scene after the match have to be so long? I've seen worse matches, all of them being ones that were supposed to be serious. But no comedy match this bad, ever. Wish I'd have been spared. -*****. ___________________   This next match is for the World Wrestling Federation Title, and basically, the only reason I wanted to watch this show in the first place. It's a submission match, and the wrestlers second has to throw the towel in, in order for them to lose. Simple, right? The challenger is Bob Backlund w/Owen Hart, and the champion is Bret Hart w/the British Bulldog. Backlund's crossface-chickenwing was portrayed as a death move on TV leading up to this match. Not only that, but in the age of entrance music being a big thing...Backlund doesn't have any.   Blow-by-blow: Bret Hart's family is there, of course, but in a moment that's a little strange...Helen and Stu are down at ringside, while the rest of Bret's family is upstairs, in a premium seating area, or so it would seem. Hart slams Backlund at the beginning, and gives Backlund a hiptoss. He armdrags Backlund out to the floor, and on the inside, headbutts him. Backlund bails again, but Bulldog puts him back into the ring. Hart slams Backlund and gives him a bulldog, and holds onto the headlock. While doing so, Backlund gives him a back suplex, but Hart comes back with a European uppercut, and goes to the chinlock. Backlund gives him a shoulderblock, but Hart goes back to the headlock. Backlund whips him into the ropes, and gives him a droptoehold. To note, this match is moving quite slowly. Not in a bad way, though. Backlund tries the chickenwing, but can't get the hold applied. The wrestlers do a reversal sequence that eventually winds up in a headlock applied by Bret, then Hart gives Backlund a belly-to-belly suplex. Bret tries for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Backlund kicks away from it. Bret applies an abdominal stretch, but Backlund hiptosses out of it. Backlund tries to slam Bret, but Bret lands on top. No cover, though, remember, it's a submission match. Bret gives Backlund a slam of his own, but misses an elbowdrop off the 2nd rope. Backlund works on the arm, and puts Hart into the buckle, He tries for the chickenwing again, but can't get it, so he kicks Bret's arm instead. Backlund applies a fujiwara armbar, then gives Bret a head stomp. I really like when wrestlers kick their opponent in the head. Don't know why. Bret kips up, but Backlund gives Bret a forearm which knocks Bret out of the ring. Owen gets Bret's attention once Bret gets back in the ring, so Backlund can regain control. Backlund elbows Bret in the face, then applies an armbar again. Bret slams him, but it doesn't force Backlund to release the hold. Hart gives him a swinging neckbreaker, but Backlund just WON'T release the arm of Bret. Bret gives him an inverted atomic drop, which finally gets Backlund to release the hold. Now Bret tries the figure-four leglock, and gets the hold locked in. Backlund asks for the towel to be thrown in, but there's no way Owen'll do it. Backlund reverses the hold, but Bret re-reverses it. Backlund finally gets to the ropes, and Hart starts to work on the knee. He wrenches it, kneedrops it, and elbows it, then repeats the same sequence again. Bret goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Backlund gets to the ropes before the hold is applied. Backlund punches Bret a few times, then goes for a PILEDRIVER, which he gets. Now Backlund goes for his finisher AGAIN, but can't get it. So he headbutts Bret, and gives Bret a swinging neckbreaker. There's a uniqueness to the match, and it's the style of Backlund. Sort of a realness, funny as that is. He puts Bret into the buckle twice, but Backlund misses a charge. He tries another PILEDRIVER, but Bret counters it with a backdrop. Backlund goes for the sleeper, but Bret runs towards the buckle and ducks, leading Backlund to hit his head on the buckle and break the hold. A Backlund shoulderblock brings a collision, and Hart gets up first with a legdrop. Bret gets a PILEDRIVER, then another bulldog and a russian leg sweep to boot. Bret gets a backbreaker and elbow off the 2nd rope, and now it's time for the SHARPSHOOTER. Owen distracts Bulldog, getting him to chase Owen, and Owen takes the chase into the ring, where the referee tries to usher Bulldog out, and Owen gives Bret a bulldog, forcing Bret to break the hold. Whew. Bulldog starts chasing Owen again, but Owen ducks and Bulldog goes head first into the steel stairs, "knocking" Bulldog out cold. Backlund locks on the crossface-chickenwing, as Owen begins to show concern for Davey. "This wasn't what I wanted," and all that. Owen's "crying," and he tells Bret he's sorry. Bret tries to power out of the hold, but he can't. This whole sequence continues for 8 MINUTES, as Owen tells his mother this wasn't what he wanted. He keeps begging Helen to throw in the towel, and once the barricade is removed so Helen and Stu can come ringside, Helen grabs the towel. She tries to throw it, but Stu prevents her from doing so. Bret hasn't moved for a while, to sell the hold, of course. It looks like a deadly move. About a minute later, Helen snatches the towel out of Stu's hand and throws it in, and the referee rings the bell at 35:17, which gives Backlund his SECOND WWF TITLE. Backlund immediately releases the hold, to boos from the crowd, as Owen runs backstage with Bret's towel, in celebration. Faker. Help comes ringside, to bring Bret backstage. Of course, that was a route they had to take, because they wanted to put the title on Diesel, and all that.   Match Analysis: EXTREMELY LONG for a WWF match, and most surprisingly, not the type of match they'd had since Backlund was the champion. Featured a ton of mat wrestling, which is certainly an acquired taste. If you don't like it, you won't like the match. But I enjoyed the mat wrestling, SO....***3/4. A bit of overkill as far as how long the hold was applied, but certainly necessary. Vince bemoans the state of the New Generation...well, he ain't kidding. Unfortunately, it could and DID get a whole lot worse. ___________________   Bam Bam Bigelow, Tatanka, King Kong Bundy, Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Prichard w/ Ted DiBiase and Jim Cornette vs. Lex Luger, Bart Gunn, Billy Gunn, Adam Bomb, and Mabel w/Mo is the 5th match of the night, and one that interests me, in a weird way. Funny lineup.   Blow-by-blow: Lex and Tatanka start, and Tatanka's chops and right hands don't do a thing to the Lex Express. Tatanka suplexes Lex, but of course, Lex no-sells it. Luger gives him a face smash and two clotheslines, then clotheslines Tatanka out to the floor. Luger press slams Tatanka onto Bigelow, so both Mabel and Bundy tag in. That's a lot of obesity right there. Bundy decides to get out, and Prichard takes his place. Mabel slams Prichard, but misses an elbowdrop. Mabel takes a kneedrop from Prichard, but gets a backdrop, and then, he goes UP TO THE 2ND ROPE, giving Prichard a crossbody off, for the elimination at 3:58.   Del Ray tries to dropkick Mabel, but can't do it, so Mabel gives him that Bossman slam thing. Bundy comes in, and both men's shoulderblocks don't do a thing, until Mabel tries for a 2nd time and finally, Bundy goes down. Bam Bam tags in, and Mabel gives hima spinning heel kick and goes UP to the TOP, but Bigelow slams him down. Bigelow tries for a sunset flip from the top, but Mabel sits on him. Mabel clotheslines him over the top and to the floor, but Mabel hits his head on the concrete, and gets counted out, at about 7:27.   Billy comes in, and bridges out of a pinfall into a backslide for 2. It really had no place in the match whatsoever, he just did it. Bomb comes in, and gets a droptoehold, but tries for a crossbody and misses, falling to the outside. He gets a slingshot clothesline back in, and 2 clotheslines, before Bundy stops his little rally with a clothesline to the back of Bomb's head. Bigelow gives Bomb a bulldog, and then a moonsault to put Bomb out at 9:09. Guess it's a good thing I changed my username.   Lex comes in with a quick roll-up for 2, in an attempt to catch Bigelow off guard, and Del Ray tags back in. He gets a superkick, but on the Irish whip Lex avoids a clothesline, and then gets the RUNNING FOREARM for the pinfall at 10:55. Hate his finisher with a passion, I do.   Bart tags in and slams Tatanka, which gets a 2 count. Billy comes in, and gets a legdrop for 2. The Gunns get a double russian leg sweep for 2, and Billy stays in, and gets a slam. They work over Tatanka for a while, namely getting a monkey flip for 2. Bart gives him a sidewalk slam, but after Tatanka reverses an Irish whip, Tatanka gives Bart the END OF THE BAH GAWD TRAIL for 2 at 14:28. End of the Trail = samoan drop.   Lex comes in with an axhandle off the top rope, and Billy comes in with a hiptoss for 2. An elbowdrop gets 2, and then Lex gets a slam. Tatanka gives Billy a powerslam, then tags Bundy, who misses an elbowdrop, but gets a AVALANCHE in the corner for 3 at 17:14. It's Luger vs Bundy, Bigelow and Tatanka.   Tatanka tries to sneak in and beat Luger up, and Bigelow comes in, but misses a charge. Lex clotheslines Bigelow and Tatanka. Close 2 count on the cover against Tatanka, and then Luger gives him a sunset flip, but Tatanka tagged Bigelow so there wasn't a cover. Bigelow gives Luger a suplex for 2, and then Bundy comes in and gets a kneedrop for 2. DiBiase taunts Luger, as Bigelow comes in, and gets a falling headbutt for 2. Bundy puts Luger to the buckle, and gets an elbowdrop for 2. Tatanka tags in and gets a powerslam for 2, and I swear, Vince McMahon is the worst commentator ever. On every 2 count during this match, the "ohhegothimnohedidnt" was running strong. Tatanka gives Lex three elbowdrops, but Lex cradles him out of nowhere, putting Tatanka out at 23:14.   Almost immediately, Bundy comes in and gives Luger a big splash, at 23:22, gaining the win for his team. Luger gets attacked after the match, and given the END OF THE TRAIL. Bigelow and Bundy both do a few damaging attacks, so all of Luger's team runs out to make the save, and they clean house. Well, Mabel took a while getting there, so he clotheslined the Heavenly Bodies in the aisleway.   Survivors: King Kong Bundy and Bam Bam Bigelow.   Match Analysis: Good booking that established Mabel as a threat, and entertaining too, but this match pretty much solidified the fact that Luger was going to also-ran territory. Anyhow, weird placement, as if they were trying to build up the crowd, and although the main event had heat, I'm not so sure it was because of this. They would have been better served to put this as the opener, but who am I to say so? I just don't see the need to put a match with many lower carders this late in the show. My .02. Anyhow, it's **. ___________________   Todd Pettingill's with Bob Backlund, who says he beat Bret to save our society, and that he really doesn't care about the "New Generation." Not a bad promo, but why should I care?   Anyhow, the main event is a casket match, and of course, it's Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer. Oh yeah, CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS is on the outside, keeping Yoko from having help in beating Taker like last time, at Royal Rumble 1994.   Blow-by-blow: During Undertaker's entrance, the video wall separates, for him to walk out of. Yeah, that was strange. Once Taker gets in the ring, he points to the casket and tells Yoko that he's goin' in. Yokozuna gives Taker an avalanche in the corner, but it doesn't do a thing. Yoko gets rammed into the casket, and then, Taker rams him into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Taker delivers OLD SCHOOL, but Yoko comes back with a samoan drop. Taker no-sells it, but gets clotheslined. Another no-sell follows, so Yokozuna gives him ROCK BOTTOM, ROCK BOTTOM....and a legdrop. Yoko drags him to the casket, and puts Taker inside, but Taker pulls Yoko in too, and they fight. Fuji grabs Taker, so Taker chases him, and hits Cornette on his way. Inside again, Yoko slams Taker, then knocks him out of the ring and rams him into the steps. Yoko chokes Taker, and now the match begins to slow down a bit. This goes for a while, until Taker gives him a clothesline, and then goes up top and does the same. To the casket we go, as King Kong Bundy and Bam Bam Bigelow grace us with their presence. Needless to say, they're scared of Chuck Norris. Who isn't? IRS comes into the ring, and Norris isn't noticing, and IRS applies a sleeper on the Undertaker. He puts Taker in the casket and disapperars, but Yoko can't shut the lid, because Taker got up. Taker chokes him, and Jeff Jarrett makes his way to the ring, but he gets KARAAAAAATTTTTE kicked by Norris and knocked out. Taker gives Yoko a flying clothesline and running DDT, then a big boot which puts Yokozuna in the casket. Taker grabs Fuji's Japanese flag, breaks it and throws it inside, then shuts the lid for the win at 15:25.   Match Analysis: That was a million times better than I thought it would be. So much so, that I won't go into negatives. It was the right way to end the Taker/Yoko thing, with the outside interference not getting the job done, and the seeming nature of a squash throughout the match. Honestly, it felt like that the whole way, IMO. Better than it had any right to be, but still 1/2*. It wasn't good.   Show's over! ___________________   Rating: Decent. I'm being kind, but Backlund/Hart is certainly worth a look. Considering that, you kinda have to watch it. I'm generous to this show because I started watching wrestling in 1994, and it is one of my favorite time periods. Not because it was good, but because I liked it when I was a kid.   Best Match: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart for the WWF Title. Self explanatory.   Worst Match: Lawler's team vs. Doink's team. I never want to watch that again.   Loudest Sound: The Undertaker, Razor Ramon, Diesel and Owen Hart.   No Sound: The Heavenly Bodies, Smoking Gunns, Tatanka, and Adam Bomb. That's half the people in a match, and really no embellishment. ___________________   Not reviewing the roundtable, but I watched it last night. Really, really fun watch. This channel is great, and really, the main reason I watch wrestling. If it wasn't around, I probably wouldn't watch, because such a large library wouldn't be easy to access.
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Review: WWE Unforgiven 2007, from Memphis, Tennessee, 9/16/2007.

Another let's get this out of the way show. I have no idea what to expect. The video to open the show is very cool, and very professional looking. Even better than the ones they used to have during the Attitude Era. ___________________   The first match, is Elijah Burke vs. CM Punk, for Punk's ECW Championship. Yeah, I'm one of those people that doesn't like the use of the ECW name. At all. I don't even know who this Elijah Burke guy is...and I'll be saying that a lot during the show.   Blow-by-blow: Punk pushes Burke, and they both go onto the mat, obviously for some mat wrestling. Burke with the go-behind, but Punk bridges out, and gives Burke a droptoehold. Punk applies a short arm scissor, but Burke gets into the ropes. Buke with an elbow to Punk, but he misses a charge, and gets kicked. Punk hits Burke in the gut, and gives him a russian leg sweep for 2. Punk chops him and kicks him, before giving him a snapmare and kicking him in the back. Punk gives Burke a backbreaker for 2, and on an Irish whip to the corner, Burke blows the reversal, tripping over Punk's feet. Didn't fall down, though. Burke rams Punk's head into the mat, which gets a 2 count. He gives Punk some of his own medicine, with a kick to Punk's back. Burke gives Punk a surfboard, until Punk kicks him. Punk gives Burke a bulldog, and slingshots from the apron back into the ring with a clothesline, for 2. Burke then pulls Punk out to the floor, and rams Punk into the apron. On the inside, a cover gets 2, and Burke goes for a Boston crab, which he gets. Punk's facial expressions are VERY good. Punk reaches the ropes, so Burke decides he needs to give him 2 german suplexes, consecutively. Burke gives Punk an STO, which gets a 2 count. Burke applies this leglock thing, I don't know what it's called. It looks cool, though. Punk rolls through the hold, but gets kicked twice. For some reason Burke grabs Punk's leg, and Punk gives him an enziguri. That made no fuckin' sense, on Burke's part. Burke gives Punk an uppercut for 2, but stalls around, and gets rolled up by Punk for 3 at 11:52.   Match Analysis: It's known I don't like that finish, but it didn't bother me this time. It was solid, and I don't know if this Burke guy is supposed to be a good worker, because it really seemed like Punk was leading him along. It's **, and a good opener. ___________________   Oh noes, partners who don't like each other. It's the WWE Tag Team Champions, Matt Hardy and MVP vs. Deuce and Domino w/Cherry. Cherry = yum, from what I see.   Blow-by-blow: I like MVP's entrance, and I got kinda sad when I found out the "internet" part of Hardy's entrance was gone. Boo. Deuce and Domino have no heat...at all. Their whole thing is so corny, I kinda like it. MVP and Hardy argue, and I guess Hardy decides he's going to start the match, but MVP slaps Hardy on the back, tagging in. Domino and MVP begin the match, as MVP gives Domino an armdrag, and a bodyslam, before tagging in. Hardy gives Deuce an armdrag and a bodyslam, then a swinging neckbreaker. So Hardy's better, he did more. I'm enjoying the interaction between the two champions. MVP tags in and gives Deuce a chop and bulldog, and goes to the 2nd rope, for that Matt Hardy elbowdrop. Hardy's pissed though, and keeps him from doing it. He doesn't care for the imitation. Hardy and Domino tag in, and Domino misses a charge to the buckle. Hardy slams him, then does an awful impression of the BALLIN! elbow, and lastly gives him the REAL VERSION(1UUUUUUH) of that move, for 2. Deuce pulls Hardy's hair, then tags in. Knee to the face for 1, and he gives Hardy a cobra clutch. Hey. Deuce misses a charge to the corner, and gets rolled up by Hardy for 2. Domino comes in and slams Hardy, then gets a legdrop for 2. He rams Hardy into the buckle, then tags in Deuce again. Deuce applies an armbar, and Cherry grabs Hardy's leg during his comeback, keeping him from making the tag. Hardy still gives Deuce the SIDE EFFECT, but Deuce quickly tags in Domino, who keeps Hardy from tagging MVP, by hitting MVP. MVP's pissed off about getting hit, and goes back to the entranceway. Deuce and Domino do this cool double team that would look like the Powerplex if done at the same time, and it gets 2. MVP runs back to the apron, as Deuce applies a front facelock on Hardy. Hardy bulldogs Deuce while clotheslining Domino, and it's hot tag MVP. MVP clotheslines Deuce, then gives him an elbow, backdrop, and two difference facebuster variations. Hardy tags in when MVP does the BALLIN! elbow, and uses MVP as a battering ram, pushing him into Domino. Hardy then gives Deuce the TWIST OF FATE, which finishes the bout after the pinfall, at 9:19.   Match Analysis: I swayed back and forth on what I was going to rate it, and I decided on **. I really, really enjoyed the interaction between MVP and Matt Hardy. Usually I think the "feuding partners" angle sucks, but this time at least, it felt right. ___________________   Rey's on WWE Mobile (what's this?) and has something to say about how he was beaten up by Khali. Yeah, he's an underdog and all that. ___________________   The next match is No Disqualification, but for Carlito only. What the fuck? He's facing Triple H.   Blow-by-blow: HHH starts the match off with a few punches, and a back elbow. Carlito bails, but comes back in quickly, and gets backdropped. Carlito goes out to grab a trash can, but HHH pulls him in before he can grab it. HHH clotheslines Carlito out, and Carlito goes to grab a chair. He swings it, but hits the ringpost on accident. HHH drives Carlito into the barrier, and then into the ring apron. HHH gives Carlito an elbowdrop to the back, and a backbreaker, before applying an abdominal stretch. HHH cheats by using the rope, and then pulls Carlito's hair. HHH gets caught and forced to break the hold, so Carlito runs out and tries to unhook a television monitor. HHH stops him, and tosses him onto, but not through, the ECW announce table. Carlito hits HHH with the ring bell, twice, but no blood. Surprising. Carlito chokes HHH with the cord, and then grabs his apple. He spits in the face of people that aren't cool, but apparently, HHH is cool. Cause he was unable to spit in his face. Carlito then hits HHH with a trash can 5 times, then grabs another can and back suplexes HHH onto it, then gets ANOTHER CAN and puts it in the corner, where nothing happens. HHH clotheslines Carlito, and gives him a high knee, then the knee-to-face facebuster, for 2. Carlito grabs some powder, and throws it at HHH. Don't know what to say about that. Carlito grabs a chair, but can't hit HHH with it, as HHH gives him a spinebuster. HHH grabs the chair, but lowblows Carlito instead. And now it's the PEDIGREE, which gives HHH the pinfall at 10:41. HHH takes FOREVER to get out of the ring, which bothers me. It bothers me when anyone does it during the middle of the card.   Match Analysis: I didn't care for it. It was basically a glorified squash, and not much more. *1/4. To be fair, I don't think Carlito's very good (from what I've seen), and I don't think the match could have been any better. ___________________   Maria's with Batista...not a fan of Batista's promos, especially in this case, as he gives me a creepy feeling that he's undressing Maria with his eyes...yeah, I'd really rather not know about that. ___________________   Anyway, the next match is Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle for the Women's Title. The champion is always billed last, unless it's a special case.   Blow-by-blow: Candice Michelle's music is AWFUL. It makes me want to throw my remote at the TV, or fast forward past it. Candice grabs onto a headlock, but Phoenix just throws her away. She does that alot. He gives Candice a knucklelock, and picks her up, then drops her to the canvas. Candice avoids a charge, and springboards back into the ring with an armdrag on Phoenix. Phoenix gives Candice a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and whips her hard into the buckle. Sometimes it's hard to watch women's wrestling, especially in the WWE, because they don't give you that feeling that the moves have a rough impact on their opponent. Phoenix whips her into the buckle, and it's like Candice just smooths her way into being hit. Phoenix rams Candice's head into the mat, which gets 2. We go to the chinlock, and instead, Phoenix applies a surfboard. She gives Candice a back elbow afterward, and an argentine backbreaker. Candice counters it with a neckbreaker, and then a dropkick, but Phoenix rams her into the buckle. Then, Phoenix gives her a press slam. Guess that looked cool. Candice rolls Phoenix up out of nowhere, and gets 3, at 7:05.   Match Analysis: There was nothing that could have made the match worse, so just a DUD. The finish didn't even bother me, I disliked the match that bad. It was a matter of personal preference, not bad wrestling, to a point. Everything was well executed. It just didn't flow, for some reason. ___________________   The Great Khali and his manager, Ranjin Singh, have an interview, and whenever Khali talks, the fans go WHAT? Nice to know that didn't go away. Khali crushes a canteloupe, to signify what he's going to do to Rey Mysterio's head. Note the mask on the canteloupe. And then he crushes a watermelon, to signify what he'll do to Batista. Great promo. I'm being dead serious, that was awesome. ___________________   A video comes first, but it's Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. The Great Khali in a triple threat match, for the World Heavyweight Championship. I'll have something to say about this afterward, but it'll wait.   Blow-by-blow: Batista's entrance is fuckin' DUMB. Both his and Rey's take forever too. Bothersome. Batista and Rey beat up Khali, until Khali throws Rey out of the ring. Sorry, I can't take Rey vs. Khali seriously. That wasn't what I was going to say, though. Khali clotheslines Batista, and rams him into the buckle. He kicks Batista, but misses a charge to the corner. Batista gives him a few shouldercharges, and rams Rey into Khali. Hey, you gotta try somethin'. Rey rolls up Batista for 2. Hey, you gotta try somethin'. Rey gives Batista a flying headscissors, and a bulldog for a 2 count. He goes onto the apron and springboards in with a senton, and I've gotta ask. Is he able to do the West Coast Pop anymore? I'd really like an answer, so please, tell me. Khali gives Rey a gigantic boot to the face, and tries to give Batista the HEAD CRUSH. That finisher is so damn funny. I know it's not called the HEAD CRUSH, but I like it that way. Khali clotheslines him, and then he's able to give him the HEAD CRUSH. Rey grabs a chair and hits Khali with it, well, it doesn't do a thing. Khali goes to the outside, and tosses Batista onto a table. Khali is unable to catch up to Rey, but when he does, he chokes him, and clotheslines him. Khali applies a nerve hold, and gives Rey a big boot when he tries to break it. Khali applies the HEAD CRUSH on Rey, but Batista comes flying back in with a shoulderblock. Khali gets tied in the ropes, so Rey and Batista have to fight. Batista tries to powerbomb Rey, but gets given a rana by Rey. 619 time for Batista, and one for Khali too. Rey with a seated senton onto Khali, but Batista catches Rey afterward, and powerbombs him onto Khali. Batista gives Khali a spinebuster, and pins him, to win the World Title, at 8:00.   Match Analysis: I liked this match better than the triple threat I watched yesterday. But that doesn't MAKE the match THAT much better, although it was better. The finishing sequence is what made the match better, no doubt. And it was kept short, and simple. Thankfully. *1/2, and I don't mean that in a bad way, at all.   Now, what I had to say about this was, this is what I hate about the brand split. A PPV, with only 2 non-title matches. Something is not right about that, and it kinda cheapens some of the titles in the first place. Especially when a bunch change. I'm of the opinion that there should be 1 World Title. 1 Tag Team Title. 2 Midcard Titles, being the IC and US Title. Cruiserweight Champion, and Women's Champion. I think that's all there should be. Have the champion go on both shows again. It's more fun that way, and I may even start watching on a weekly basis again. But RIGHT NOW, the sheer amount of titles there are is overkill. Too much to keep track of. The brand split is fine, when you don't have this many titles. ___________________   Now, a flashback to the Hornswoggle stuff. I didn't want to see it then, and I didn't want to see it now. But, the stupidity of the whole thing had me laughing. HARD. HHH and Batista are backstage, and HHH congratulates him, yeah that whole thing. ___________________   Paul London and Brian Kendrick are facing Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Championships, and I have to say, I don't know what to think of London and Kendrick's getup. Meaning the colors, purple and green. It looks like something Kriss Kross would wear. Wow.   Blow-by-blow: Cade and Kendrick start, and Cade gives him a hiptoss. Kendrick gives Cade a dropkick, and Cade returns with a shoulderblock. Murdoch comes in, and gets rolled up for 2. London tags in after a Kendrick armdrag, and he comes in with an elbow off the top. Kendrick comes in, and does the same, before tagging London in again. London kicks Murdoch's left arm, where they were giving the elbows to. Murdoch misses a charge, and the obviousness of the spot call bothered me a little. He looked at Kendrick and practically told him, come here. Kendrick comes in with a sunset flip for 2, but Murdoch gives him a clothesline. Cade tags in, and is given a flying headscissors by Kendrick. Both London and Kendrick clothesline Cade over the top, and dropkick Murdoch out, and then London and Kendrick suicide dive onto both. Cool. Kendrick goes up top, but misses a crossbody, once they all come back in. Murdoch tosses Kendrick out, and brings him back in the hard way. Cade gets a shoulderblock for 2, and slams Murdoch onto Kendrick, with Murdoch giving Kendrick a legdrop. Cade keeps Kendrick away from tagging London, and puts Kendrick up top, where he powerslams him from the 2nd rope for 2. Murdoch tags in and gets an elbowdrop for 2, then applies a neck vice. Kendrick gets some momentum, and gives him a leg lariat. Cade tags in, and misses a charge to the buckle, but keeps Kendrick from making the tag. Murdoch misses a move from up top, and London finally tags in. He flips into the ring, and has dropkicks for both his opponents. He gives Cade an inverted atomic drop, and a hurricanrana. The crowd has been quiet all match, and I don't know why. London gives a DOUBLE STOMP to a STANDING Murdoch, but misses a charge to the corner. Cade goes up top, but misses a flying elbowdrop. London gets a dropkick for 2, and Kendrick tags in, then comes off the top with a crossbody for 2. Cade and Murdoch do a cool double team, where Cade gives an opponent an inverted atomic drop, and Murdoch gives the same opponent a big boot, but it only gets 2. Murdoch mises a charge to the buckle, but Cade gives Kendrick a sitout-uranage powerbomb, and Cade tosses London out of the ring so he can't make the save during Murdoch's pin, giving Cade and Murdoch the victory and pinfall at 11:49.   Match Analysis: I liked it. But the crowd didn't. They shit all over it. Still, fuck them. They don't matter, when they're as dumb as this. **1/4. ___________________   A Condemned promo and video package for the match takes place, prior to Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship. I thought their match at Summerslam was good, so this should be...right?   Blow-by-blow: Cena's dad is sitting at ringside, remember, Orton kicked him in the face. Anyhow, the crowd is a typical WWE crowd, half heeling on Cena, half not. It looks really bad when they do that. They both slug it out at the opening bell, and Cena gets the best of it, after a clothesline. The crowd is hot, which is no surprise. It was like this last time. Orton bails after being rammed into the turnbuckle and clotheslined. Back in, and Cena tries for the STFU. Can't get it, though, as Orton bails, and gives Cena a European uppercut, on the floor. Orton DDT's Cena from the 2nd rope, back into the ring, but it only get 2. Orton and Cena fight some more, but Cena misses a charge to the buckle, and Orton applies a sleeper. Not this bullshit again. And it goes to a chinlock. So fucking typical. Dueling chants suck, too. I had to say that. Cena breaks the hold and clotheslines Orton, then beats him up in the corner, and pushes the referee twice which leads to a disqualification at 7:21. Fuck that finish. Orton pulls Cena's dad over the barrier, and Cena applies the STFU to Orton, when Orton had attempted to kick Cena's dad again. Cena's dad returns the favor from RAW, and runs backstage. Funny moment: Shot cuts to the crowd, and there's this guy rapping out Cena's music. That's funny shit. Reminds me of something I would have done, back in the day.   Match Analysis: A chinlock in a 7 minute match. The shitty finish. The fake looking brawling. Save that bullshit for RAW. Goodness, I'd feel so RIPPED off had I paid the PPV price for that. Such bullshit. The finish is enough to knock the match down to DUD territory. Terrible. And if you're doing a 7 minute match, for the LOVE OF GOD, don't go to a chinlock. Keep it high intensity, for fuck's sake. ___________________   Jonathan Coachman is with Cena's dad, and he basically tells the guy to stay out of Orton and Cena's business. Then Cena comes in and says, you mess with him, you mess with me. He pushes Coach to the ground, and walks away. ___________________   The main event to end all main events, Mark Henry vs. The Undertaker. Seriously, what the fuck.   Blow-by-blow: The entrance wall falls down, and The Undertaker comes out of it. And now what's left of said wall lights on fire. Haha. The crowd's all standing up, but nobody's making any noise. Once Taker gets in the ring, both men slug it out (harharhar, slugs) and Taker gets the best of it. He gives Henry a headbutt and avalanche, but when he tries another avalanche, Henry picks him up and rams him into the turnbuckle. Didn't matter though, Taker came back with a big boot and headbutt to put Henry down. OLD SCHOOL TIME, but Henry crotches him, then takes about 2 minutes to get up there and give Taker a superplex. Henry gives Taker a clothesline and big boot, but it doesn't do a thing. Taker knocks Henry to the floor, and rams him into one of the announce tables. Henry rams Taker into the apron, and I swear to God, the crowd hasn't made a single sound all match. Henry gives Taker a clothesline for 2, and a big splash for 2. Haha, Taker's on the ground like a sack of potatoes. No movement, no facial expressions, nothing. Another big splash gets 2, but a 3rd misses. Henry gives Taker an STO and a bodyslam, then ANOTHER big splash. He wasts time, and Taker sits up. Thankfully, this is going to be over soon. Taker with two avalanches and OLD SCHOOL, then a CHOKESLAM, which gets 2. Taker goes for the LAST RIDE, but can't get it, so he kicks Henry instead. Henry applies a bearhug and takes Taker over to the corner for the 10 punch, but Taker LAST RIDE's him out of the corner for 3 at 11:26. And the show is over.   Match Analysis: Awful, in very way. I'm convinced that Mark Henry can't be carried to more than a **. Taker did his part to make the match shitty, though. Anyway, there was no crowd heat, and it was an awful decision to put this on last. For that awful decision, combined with the awful match, that's a negative. -*. Really could have done without seeing that. ___________________   Rating: Poor. Better than Armageddon 2003, but not by much. But there were enough average matches to give it a poor rating, and the negative rating keeps it from going to being average.   Best Segment: I enjoyed London/Kendrick vs. Cade/Murdoch the most. I love tag team matches. MVP and Matt Hardy were right after that, on the enjoyment ladder.   Worst Segment: Obviously Undertaker vs. Mark Henry. I don't think the crowd bought into Henry as a threat, thus the lack of crowd reaction.   Loudest Sound: HHH, John Cena (both negatively and positively), Batista, Matt Hardy, and The Great Khali. People really didn't like that ugly bastard.   No Sound: London and Kendrick (but fuck those fans), Deuce and Domino, both women in their match, and Mark Henry. No surprises.   But about the World Heavyweight Title change in the middle of the card, that's exactly why these shows suck. You have a World Title match in the middle, you change the title, get a pop...and then nothing for almost the entirety of the night afterward. Not good. ___________________   Well, that's done. I'll probably watch PTW today, but if I don't, it may be that Jesse Ventura stuff.
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Review: WWE Tribute to the Troops 2006, from Iraq.

Ok, I didn't do this for a while, because, honestly, there wasn't much on to watch. I like to interview a lot of stuff in a row, every day, more like. ___________________   It's Tribute to the Troops from Iraq, so hopefully, the guys put on a good show for the soldiers. That's the main reason I'm interested in watching this, in the first place. JR and the King are on commentary.   The first match, and first segment on the show from Iraq, is a non-title match, between Edge (RAW Tag Team Champion) and John Cena (WWE Champion). Sounds good.   Blow-by-blow: Cena applies a headlock at the beginning of the match, and takes Edge down to the canvas. Edge lifts him up into the air, and Cena does it again. Cena gives Edge a shoulderblock, and we go to the chinlock, early. It doesn't last long, so Edge slaps Cena across the face. Edge gives Cena a forearm, and a shoulderblock of his own. Cena comes back with a hiptoss, and then a scoop slam, followed by an elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Cena misses a charge to the corner, so Edge gives him a DDT. He goes for the "10 punch in the corner," but Cena stops him at #3, and drops Edge face-first onto the turnbuckle. Cena gives Edge a suplex, but it only gets a 2 count. Cena misses a backdrop, so Edge gives him a clothesline. A "you suck" chant gets going, obviously in the direction of Edge. Edge covers Cena for 2, and puts Cena on the ring apron. Cena slugs away, and goes up top, and an poke of the eye by Edge knocks Cena down to the floor. Edge gives Cena a baseball slide, as we go to a   commercial break.   We're back, as Edge has Cena locked in a body scissors. The soldiers bless us with a "CENA" chant, so Cena powers out of the hold. Cena then gives Edge a "Throwback," but Edge comes back quickly with a big boot for 2. Edge goes out to the floor and grabs a chair, but the referee takes it away before he can use it. A Cena rollup gets 2, and Edge comes back with a clothesline, and elbowdrop to the back for 2. Edge gives Cena a spinning leg lariat for 2, and applies the camel clutch. JR's thinking the same thing I am, that it's funny he's doing that move in the Middle East, and all. Cena powers out, of course, and falls back onto Edge, who lands hard on the canvas. The two wrestlers now slug it out, and Cena gets the best of it. He gives Edge two flying shoulderblocks, and then the "Killswitch" for 2. I'm getting these names in quotations off wikipedia, in case you were wondering. Cena then gives Edge the FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE, which the soldiers go nuts for. Cena rams Edge hard into the buckle, and goes for the F-U, but Edge counters with a jumping DDT for 2. It didn't look like his finisher, so I won't call it that. Edge goes up top and Cena tries to give him the F-U from UP THERE, but Edge counters the move into a modified electric chair drop from the top. Edge tries for the SPEAR, but misses, ramming himself into the corner, so Cena gives him the F-U for the victory at 14:01 (what was shown). The enthusiasm of the soldiers during each of the matches on this show makes me feel warm inside. It's nice to see.   Match Analysis: Liked it very much, and I bet these two could do better. Note: I haven't seen any of their other matches. The time period of this match is a dark period to me. Easy ***. It's nice to get a match like this on the show. ___________________   Video of General Casey coming to the ring, and saying thanks to the WWE, and then, talking about how the country can be proud of our soldiers. Then we see pictures of the talent with the soldiers, and we cut to CM Punk saying "happy holidays" to everyone at home. Shelton Benjamin does the same, but like he doesn't even want to be there. "That it?" These two are up next!!! ___________________   Yeah, it's CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin. Sounds good.   Blow-by-blow: Punk gives Shelton a quick armdrag, and Shelton tries to slam Punk afterward. But Punk counters it into an armdrag, and pushes Shelton down to the canvas. Punk Irish whips Shelton, but Shelton goes all.....STOP, and ducks out of the ring, under the bottom rope. Shelton acts like he's going to leave the area, but Punk runs out quickly and tosses him back into the ring. Punk gives Shelton a few forearms, but Shelton rams Punk shoulderfirst into the ringpost. Shelton begins to work on said shoulder, by ramming him arm first into the buckle. Shelton gives Punk a shoulderbreaker, and applies an armbar. Shelton pulls Punk down to the canvas by his hair, which gets 2. Shelton goes back to work on the arm, until Punk powers out of the hold, and gives Shelton a leg lariat. He clotheslines Shelton and gives him a few high knees, then rams Shelton into the buckle. He kinda charges into Shelton, and gives him the running bulldog for 2. Punk goes up top, and Shelton gives him a pop-up springboard superplex for 2. That was NICE. Shelton misses the SHELTON SPLASH (that's a lame name), and Punk gets the roll-up for 3 at 4:47.   Match Analysis: Typically I hate out of nowhere finishes, right? But since the match was so short, it wasn't really out of nowhere, considering it took place during the finishing sequence. It was **1/4. I would LOVE to see these two in a 20 minute match. Is Shelton any good on the stick? If so, he's being WASTED. ___________________   It's Johnny Nitro w/Melina vs. The Undertaker. The fans wanted to see Melina's whole deal when she gets on the apron, but Nitro covers her up to make sure they can't. Taker doesn't go through his whole entrance, either.   Blow-by-blow: Nitro avoids being crushed by Taker, until he corners Taker, and beats him up. Taker picks him up, and does the same to him in the corner, and applies an armbar afterward. Taker gives him a knucklelock slam, and takes Nitro to the buckle, where Taker gives him OLD SCHOOL. Taker goes for the LAST RIDE, but Melina gets on the apron to distract. She screams a whole bunch, and Nitro gives Taker an enziguri. Nitro gives Taker a dropkick, but he gets clotheslined, and taken hard to the buckle. Taker gives him SNAKEEYES, and a big boot. Of course, the CHOKESLAM and TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER finish at 3:57.   Match Analysis: It was what the troops wanted to see, that being a squash. *1/2. ___________________   Now the national anthem with Lillian Garcia is shown...and then the soldiers talk about their experience in Iraq, prior to the mortar attack that took place near the makeshift arena they were going to build. Yeah, a mortar attack. Sheesh. ___________________   The next match on the show is Hardcore Holly vs. Bobby Lashley (ECW Champion) in a non-title bout. Holly's looking a bit too old to pull off the tough guy role they're probably still having him play.   Blow-by-blow: Lashley gives Holly a press slam, so Holly decides he wants to test Lashley's strength. They lock-up, and quickly, Holly kicks him in the gut. Lashley gives him a shoulderblock, and a snap suplex for 2. Lashley then gives Holly a delayed vertical suplex for 2, and Holly bails to the outside. Lashley tries to follow with a baseball slide, but misses, and Holly rams him into the steel steps. Back inside, Holly rams Lashley into the turnbuckle, and applies an armbar. Holly wraps Lashley's around the 2nd rope, presumably working on it, trying to make him submit. Lashley gives Holly a belly-to-belly suplex, and a shoulderblock. Lashley gives Holly a clothesline, and a discus punch to the back of the neck. He then gives Holly a torture rack backbreaker, and another snap suplex for 2. Holly chops Lashley, and Lashley misses a charge to the corner. Holly tries to give him the ALABAMA SLAM, but Lashley rolls through the hold, turning it into a sunset flip, which gets 2. Lashley gives him a "Bulldog" style powerslam, and that gets 3, at 6:27.   Match Analysis: I don't think Lashley's very good, but I can't say so for sure. His moveset is so thin that he repeated a move. Not only that, he reeks of blandness. 3/4*. ___________________   Interview with an Iraqi Army Captain...I was being talked to, so I didn't catch what he said...and then Chris Masters talks about the Masterlock Challenge later on. ___________________   The next match is a non-title bout, between UMAGA and Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion). Umaga's cool, I guess.   Blow-by-blow: Umaga gives Hardy a back elbow, and then misses a clothesline. He also misses a crossbody, and Hardy goes for a sunset flip. Umaga tries to sit on Hardy, but Hardy gives him a seated dropkick. Umaga bails out, and Hardy gives him a baseball slide, and a pescado. Umaga catches him on the pescado though, and rams him into the ringpost and steel steps. Umaga gives him a headbutt, and a legdrop. He then gives Hardy a kick to the back, and quickly applies a nervehold, before giving Hardy a samoan drop. Umaga goes up top, but misses the big splash. Hardy gives him a few clotheslines and a dropkick, but it's not putting Umaga down. He gives Umaga a jawbreaker, and WHISPER IN THE WIND, which finally puts Umaga down, for the 2 count. I wanted to capitalize Umaga's name throughout the review, but it's too hard. I might do it in the future. Umaga goes for the SAMOAN SPIKE, but Hardy avoids it and eventually gets a TWIST OF FATE. Hardy goes for the SWANTON, but hits the knees of Umaga. Umaga gives him the running ass to face at the corner, and the SAMOAN SPIKE, which gets 3 at 5:51.   Match Analysis: The finish was anti-climatic, but the match was still fun. *3/4, and another match that could be better given time. ___________________   Carlito's talking to a female soldier, cause he's cool and all...prior to his match against Randy Orton (RAW Tag Team Champion).   Blow-by-blow: Orton doesn't look healthy when on the juice. That's just a first observation. Orton goes to the headlock, but Carlito reverses it, and comes back with a few left hands. Carlito gives Orton the 10 punch in the corner, and gives him an armdrag. Orton comes back with a dropkick, and then kicks him all over, prior to doing that pose of his. Have I ever mentioned how funny I find the pose? Orton gives Carlito a spinning side slam, and goes to the chinlock. See, before this match, I told my brother he'd do two of three moves. European uppercut, dropkick, and chinlock. I didn't pay attention to see if he did any European uppercuts, because once he did two of them, I quit looking for it. Carlito powers out and gives Orton a back suplex, and a few lefts. Carlito gives Orton a kneelift and clothesline, which gets a 2 count. Carlito gives him a springboard back elbow, which looks about as smooth as any springboard move I've seen. Orton quickly comes back with that Mike Sanders 3.0 backbreaker, and tries to give Carlito the RKO. He's unable to, and near the turnbuckle, Carlito tries the BACKSTABBER. He can't get that either, as Orton holds onto the ropes, preventing himself from being pulled down. Now Orton tries to pin Carlito with his feet on the ropes for 2, and once the referee catches him, Carlito springs up, and rolls Orton up, for 3, while holding Orton's tights and telling the crowd to hush and not ruin his win. Time of the fall was 5:07.   Match Analysis: Cute finish. Really, I loved it. *1/2. Kinda elaborate, but who cares. At least it didn't get screwed up. ___________________   Santa Claus comes to the ring, along with Maria, Crystal and Torrie Wilson. The troops oughta love that. They throw some panties in the crowd, and the troops fight over it. See? Chris Masters comes out, and he doesn't believe in Santa. He hates Christmas, too. Well, he's going to let Santa have a go at breaking the MASTERLOCK. Santa can't do it, so Masters throws him aside. Now, a troop named Jose Avila comes into the ring...yeah, he's tiny. Especially in comparison to Masters. Anyhow, Masters has him locked in, and JBL is SANTA CLAUS! He attacks Masters, and the soldier breaks the MASTERLOCK. Heh. I like how he jumped around and no-sold the move afterward. the MASTERLOCK'S BEEN BROKEN, BAH GAWD, says JR. And now, JBL gives Masters a CLOTHESLINE FROM BAGHDAD. See, I was going to write that once I saw the move, but the announce team stole the words from out of my mouth. ___________________   That's the end of the show, after pictures from Iraq. ___________________   Rating: Good. I thought the show was fun, and had decent matches. So yeah, good.   Best Segment: Cena vs. Edge   Worst Segment: Hardcore Holly vs. Bobby Lashley. Both suck.   Loudest Sound: Taker and Cena   No Sound: Nobody. Everyone was getting some sort of reaction. ___________________   NWA is next. I'm not reviewing the Christmas RAW, because it'll be up again when the MNW hits that point.
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Review: WCW/nWo Starrcade 1998, from Washington, DC, 12/27/1998.

Ok, I tried, I just can't do the full version. I'm pissed off about it, but what can I do? I took notes, though, so someday, I'll flush this one out and do it the right way. ___________________   The usuals are on commentary, Tony, Bobby and Tenay. The Four Horsemen have been banned from the building by Bischoff, and Mean Gene talks about the WCW Hotline. Which isn't active, as the giant black box on the screen says. ___________________   The first match was Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kidman, in a Triangle Match for the WCW Cruiserweight Title. It was overly spotty, but that's what I expected. In that context, I was surprised at how slow it seemed. Anyway, the ending went like this. Eddie Guerrero came to the ring, and reversed Kidman's rollup as the referee was distracted. The referee came in, but the count only got two, as Rey dropkicked Juvi in the face, allowing Kidman to retain his Cruiserweight Title, at 14:54. ***1/2, with a very fun ending, which tied into the next match. Anyhow, Eddie tells Rey and Juvi that they suck. They aren't LWO material, and Kidman's a dweeb. So he needs to come out here... ___________________   Kidman comes out to the ring, and he's going to face Eddie Guerrero, for Kidman's WCW Cruiserweight Title. More of the same, but with a defined heel and face. See, there are things that people can like about Juvi, but not Eddie. He's a real dickhead. Eddie's bodyguard came out to the ring, so the ref's distracted. Juvi crotches Kidman, but Rey pushes Eddie off the top, crotching him along the top rope. Eddie falls to the canvas and Kidman gives him the SHOOTING STAR PRESS, for 3, at 10:47. ***1/2. The first 30 minutes of the show was great. And now it goes WAY downhill. ___________________   Video of Nash/Goldberg confrontations in previous weeks...not much to see. ___________________   The next match is Prince Iaukea vs. NORMAN SMILEY!!! I like Smiley, but why? Starrcade's supposed to be a blowoff show. Anyhow, this match is a steaming pile of shit. Iaukea sucks, and Smiley's style doesn't help matters. He's a mat wrestler, and Iaukea is anything but. Norman does the BIG WIGGLE 3 times throughout the match, and once after. Those were 3 of the 4 pops in the match. The 4th was at the finish, because the crowd was glad to see it end. A huge BORING chant got started during the match, but it died down after a while. Smiley won the match, when Iaukea tapped out to the NORMAN CONQUEST, at 11:32. That's a chickenwing, in case you didn't watch WCW back in the day. Entirely too long. 1/2*. ___________________   Scott Hall comes to the ring now, with no music. A man without music, and without a group. Or so he says. Hey, yo; 2 SWEET and all that. 1998 hasn't been the best for Hall, but '99 will be great. He only has to prove things to himself. Then he leaves. ___________________   Same Nash/Goldberg movie as the last one... ___________________   It's Ernest "the Cat" Miller w/Sonny Onoo vs. Perry Saturn. I like Saturn's music. What I don't like is Miller's cheap heat gimmick. That's all it is. Saturn finishes the bout with the Death Valley Driver at 7:06, after Sonny Onoo accidentally kicked Miller in the chest. Good thing it was short. All Miller did during the entire match was kick. *. Afterward, Miller and Onoo argued on their way to the back. ___________________   Mean Gene Okerlund's in the aisleway, and he interviews Ric Flair. Flair's not at all worried about the Four Horsemen being banned from the building. Bischoff's going to bleed, too.   Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell encounter Konnan in the back, and tell him that the Red and Black is dead. Lex Luger comes into the room, and keeps Konnan from fighting the other two. Konnan wants to know what's going on. We found out what was going on a few weeks later, didn't we? ___________________   We find out that Nash vs. Goldberg later on is going to be No DQ. Well that's great. The next match is Fit Finlay and Jerry Flynn vs. NWO Black and White's Brian Adams and Scott Norton w/Vincent. What's this WCW Saturday Night shit doing on my screen? A way's through, Flynn gets the hot-tag from Fit, kicks Vincent, but gets powerbombed by Norton, giving the NWO B-Teamers the win at 8:55. DUD, just because this shit doesn't belong on PPV. Come on, a JERRY FLYNN PPV match? ___________________   Mean Gene's with Eric Bischoff in the aisleway, and Bischoff's promo is ironically funny. All that "Flair didn't save a penny stuff, of course. ___________________   Before this match between Chris Jericho w/Ralphus and Konnan for the WCW TV Title, we flashback to Jericho beating up a Konnan impersonator on Nitro two weeks ago. This is the Jericho I like. He's awesome. Jericho comes to the ring wearing Konnan's TV Title. Cause he stole it, or something. Towards the end, we get a beltshot from Jericho to Konnan. The cover gets two, and Konnan comes back with a facebuster and the TEQUILA SUNRISE for the submission at 7:28. It was decent, **. Let's put it this way, there's been so much worse on this show. ___________________   From a WCW.com thing earlier in the day, the Giant got mad at Lee Marshall. He didn't hit him or anything. ___________________   This is Eric Bischoff vs. Ric Flair. Yeah, Bischoff goes over after Curt Hennig runs in during a ref bump and gives him a foreign object to hit Flair with, at 7:08. The less said, the better. Yes, it really was that bad. Crowd shit all over it, so that backs up my -** rating. This is a blowoff show where the babyfaces are supposed to win. Repeat that. ___________________   We're on to Part 2. ___________________   It's the "People's Champion" Diamond Dallas Page vs. The Giant. I can't believe they would so blatantly rip off the WWF with that People's Champ nonsense. Wait a minute...of course I believe it. This IS WCW. Every promotion that thinks they're the new WWF does it, with TNA being the worst offender. Page comes through the crowd to the ring, and we begin the match. It's really boring, IMO. The finish is nice, though. Ref bump, and Bret Hart comes to the ring, where he accidentally hits The Giant with a chair. They're both NWO 4 LIFE, see. Page chopblocks Bret, knocking Bret out of the ring. Now, The Giant places Page on the top turnbuckle, and tries to CHOKESLAM him, but Page reverses it to a DIAMOND CUTTER, which picks up the win at 12:45. While it was boring, at least Page went over. Giant's bearhug killed the positive momentum this match had at the beginning, so it's a *1/2 match. Like I said, it was going well until the middle. ___________________   The same Goldberg/Nash video precedes...Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg, for the WCW Heavyweight Title, in a match where there are No Disqualifications. Goldberg is 173-0, or so WCW says. Let's skip to the ending. Again, this match was fine until a certain point. Ref bump, and instantly, the entire crowd looks to the entrance way. Every match of importance hasn't ended clean. WCW doesn't care about Jericho, so that's not important. If you have your crowd trained to see interference coming like that, there's a problem. Disco Inferno came to the ring, and got SPEARED by Goldberg. Now Bam Bam Bigelow comes to the ring, and Goldberg clotheslines him over the top rope. But as security comes out to get rid of the hangers-on (Disco, Bam Bam), SCOTT HALL comes out, in a security outfit, and TASERS GOLDBERG. Then Nash gives Goldberg the JACKKNIFE, for 3, at 11:19. NEW CHAMPION, and the streak is OVER. It's a DUD. Just because of the way the entire show has gone. The crowd went apeshit for this, SO...I am unsure of whether or not this was a bad thing. The Fingerpoke was what killed the company. Aside from the overbooking, the match was decent. But you have to give someone the rub of pinning Goldberg clean...and that just didn't happen. You do that, you have a new star. It has to be someone young, not Nash. ___________________   Rating: Bad. The first 30 minutes saved this show from being one of the worst I've ever watched. Too much overbooking.   Best Segment: Cruiserweight stuff at the beginning. The matches were equally good, so I'll generalize it.   Worst Segment: Brian Adams and Scott Norton vs. Fit Finlay and Jerry Flynn. Just, no.   Loudest Sound: Nash's pop for winning the Title, Eddie Guerrero's heel heat before the promo he cut on the participants in the Triangle Match, Scott Hall's promo, and Ric Flair, along with Eric Bischoff.   No Sound: Fit Finlay and Jerry Flynn, Norman and Iaukea, and Ernest "the Cat" Miller. ___________________   I'm only going to do this for the PPV's and MSG shows that get posted, because my hand isn't holding up too well throughout this. RAW's, Nitro's, and all that other stuff won't get reviewed. I'm disappointed about that, but oh well. I don't know what'll be next, but it'll be a few days.
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Review: WWE No Mercy 2007, from Chicago, Illinois, 10/7/2007.

I wanted to watch this, so... ___________________   At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon and William Regal come to the ring. They talk about John Cena's injury, and present a new WWE Champion, who just so happens to be Randy Orton. Yay! Not really, though. He stands there for a long time, and William Regal congratulates him. Orton's supposed to pick who he defends his title against tonight, BUT, Triple H comes down to the ring. He congratulates Orton, but he wants a title match. Orton says no...so HHH makes fun of Vince. And he gets his title shot, right now. The long-ish opening is too much like RAW, meaning that I don't like it. ___________________   So, yeah, it's HHH vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title. It's a good match, albeit a bit truncated, given the later events of the night. No PEDIGREE, no RKO. HHH pins Orton after a roll-up, when Orton charges into the ringpost, on accident, through the 2nd and top turnbuckles. Time of the fall was 11:06, and it was a ***1/4 match. The ending surprised me, as although I knew the results of the event before hand, I didn't know how the results were had. So that was cool. HHH celebrates for a long time, and we cut to... ___________________   Vince being disappointed in Orton, backstage. Then, a WrestleMania XXIV promo. Ok. ___________________   The next match is a surprise match, between Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion), Paul London and Brian Kendrick, who are facing Mr. Kennedy, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade (World Tag Team Champions, meaning the latter two). There were many cool spots in this match, too many to count, at that. I liked when Hardy did the spot where he runs along the guardrail to jump onto his opponent, but in this case, he tripped and fell at the end. I don't think he was trying to do that. Anyhow, Kennedy ended the match by pinning London after the GREEN BAY PLUNGE, at 8:05. That move looks tough to take. **. ___________________   HHH and Batista encounter each other backstage, until Vince McMahon shows up. He says HHH has to defend his title against Umaga tonight. Vince and HHH have the same looking nose. It's creepy. ___________________   The next match is Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker vs. CM Punk for the ECW Title. Good thing this was short, cause I can't look at Viscera for very long. Striker interferes after a Punk missile dropkick, and that gets V DQ'd, at 1:37. So, why is this on PPV again? DUD. V beats up Punk after the match, and Punk does the whole internal bleeding thing. Just, whatever. ___________________   Matt Hardy and MVP have a pizza eating contest next. Maria is going to keep score for Hardy, and Melina is going to keep score for MVP. Hardy wins, and barfs on MVP. MVP had a REALLY hard time not laughing when Hardy did that. Really. Short, and to the point. Well, it really wasn't, but why should I say more? ___________________   A video package precedes the following match between Umaga and HHH for the WWE Title. Of course, the video was about their 'feud'. HHH pins him with the PEDIGREE at 6:33, after Umaga gave him some tough shots to the ribs. Standard RAW match, so there's really not much to say. *1/2. ___________________   Saveus.22 promo. That's been a real success. ___________________   A promo follows, with Ranjin Singh, Khali's manager. Khali is praying to some Hindu god of violence. I thought this was going to be the Punjabi Prison match. It's not, thankfully. ___________________   This is the first Smackdown match of the night. Well, it took long enough. Who the fuck is this ring announcer? He sucks. Anyway, the match is Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio. There's an elaborate ending, so it'll take a while to explain. Rey kicks Finlay in the head with Finlay on the apron, so he drops down, throat first along the 2nd rope. Basically in 619 position. Rey went up to the top and gave Finlay a legdrop, which caused Finlay to hit his head on the ground, outside the ring. So he's knocked unconscious and all, except he's faking the injury. No time given, because the bell never rang to end the match. You could see him peek his head up, deliberately so, so that the viewers at home knew he was faking. Anyway, he gets put on a stretcher, Rey gets all sad, the referee gives the X, and the crowd starts chanting "Finlay." UNTIL, Finlay gets off the stretcher, and attacks Rey. HARHARHAR. I actually liked that. He beats him up bad, until he leaves. **1/2. Match was sound, but not spectacular. ___________________   Vince and HHH again, as Vince tells HHH he'll face Orton in a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH. I generally HATE Last Man Standing matches. ___________________   Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle is next, for the Women's Title. The battle of terrible theme music!!! Phoenix finishes the match with a fisherman's buster at 4:32, in a finish that only establishes that one, if not both of these wrestlers do not know how to work. It was spot, spot, lay around, Phoenix spot, finish. DUD's are in order. Jerry "the King" Lawler interviews Beth Phoenix after the match, she's perfect and this is a new era...but who cares? ___________________   NOW, we have the Punjabi Prison match between The Great Khali and Batista, for the World Heavyweight Championship. There's one thing I just don't get...why weren't the rules explained? At least, I don't think they were. The rules are...you go through the first of the two cages, to get through the first, you call for a door to be opened. You have a minute to get through, or the door is locked, and closed. There are four doors. If you do not get through the doors, you must climb over the first cage. To win the match, you have to climb over both cages. Basically, this is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever seen in wrestling. The match is really bad, and really slow. No wonder Rey was in the last PPV Title Match. All the doors get closed, so both wrestlers have to climb over the first cage. Batista tries to climb out, but Khali pulls him down to the ring, at which point, Khali climbs over the first cage. As he begins to climb up the 2nd cage, Batista climbs up the first, eventually getting over it. As Batista climbs down, he realizes that he needs to make a rash decision. So, he jumps from the top area of the first cage, all the way to the 2nd cage. Batista makes it down to the floor first, because he's much smaller. Honestly, I wouldn't have been too sad had Batista fallen to the ground. I don't care for him. Anyway, Batista retains his title. DUD, and only because of that insane leap. That kept it from sure -*'s. 14:47 was the time. ___________________   The last match of the night is Randy Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Title, but before the match, HHH has an interview with Todd Grisham. This is a dangerous business, and all that. Anyway, I'll just give the rundown of the big spots. HHH pushes Orton onto the ECW announce table from the RAW announce table, which gets a 9 count. In case you didn't know, the only way to win the match is if your opponent stays down for a 10 count. But I think you already know that. Orton DDT's HHH onto a chair, which gets 9 for both guys. An RKO into a chair, much like Raven does/did with the droptoehold into the chair, gets a 9 count. HHH tells Orton to suck it, and falls back down, for a 9 count. Orton slingshots HHH into the ringpost, at which point HHH does a bladejob. These events are in order, but stuff happens between them. HHH hits Orton in the head with the chair, and in an event that's hard to describe, Orton's head is placed between the portion of the steel steps where it connects to the ringpost, and HHH hits him there with a chair. That looked cool. Crowd is loving this, but it only gets a 9 count. Both men climb on the RAW announce table, and Orton gives HHH an RKO. It doesn't break the announce table, though. Still, that's it. HHH can't get up at the 10 count, and Orton wins the WWE Title, at 20:25. ****1/4, and a hell of a match, although LMS matches are never my favorite. Saved the end of the PPV, too. ___________________   Rating: Good. Two *** matches in this day and age gives a PPV a good rating. Not only that, but it was enjoyable throughout.   Best Segment: Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match.   Worst Segment: Batista vs. Khali in a Punjabi Prison Match.   Loudest Sound: HHH, Randy Orton, Batista and Finlay's attack on Rey. Like I said, I try to put two babyfaces and two heels over here.   No Sound: Big Daddy V, Paul London, Brian Kendrick and Umaga. None of them got a reaction. ___________________   I'll post the Starrcade '92 review tomorrow. My hand's not feeling any better, unfortunately.
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RAW from 5/12/1997...mostly.

Ok, time for some random thoughts about things I've watched which I'm unable to type a full review of. When I go back to work once this hand is healed, this part of my reviewing, outside of Raw and Nitro, is very likely to stay like this. I won't have the time to write like I did before. I probably shouldn't have tagged this under review, but whatever. ___________________   So, first, Shorties Section. RAW debuts, introduced by Santino Marella.   - Triple H's finisher in his first RAW match was a funny one to see. I couldn't picture him doing a cutter variation now, so that was a surprise.   - The original concept with Mankind's music was awesome. The piano music at the end, I mean. He gave Bob Holly a little too much during the match, though.   - The shoulderbreaker was a pretty lame finisher for a debuting guy. So why did Rocky Maivia have it? Sunny fawning over him on commentary was funny, as was Rocky's hair. Not diggin' all the blue, though.   - The Headbangers beat the Hardy's the hell up, on that RAW where Sid won the title from Bret Hart, the night after the Final Four. Not much to see here at all, except for the Hardy's lame choice in tights.   - Carlito's RAW debut in an Intercontinental Championship match against Shelton Benjamin featured a hilarious botched somersault plancha, by Benjamin. It was one of the funnier botches I've seen, seeing as the guy didn't get hurt. And the match was **1/4, thankfully, as Carlito cheated to win at 9:07. I like Shelton Benjamin, but he always seems to have the most lax attitude in the entire promotion during his matches.   - Umaga beat up Ric Flair in his RAW debut, the night after WM 22. Nothing really to mention here.   - Santino Marella beat Umaga in a no-holds barred Intercontinental Championship match, during his debut in Milan, Italy. First, I loved the European football type atmosphere in the crowd. That was awesome. Second, Bobby Lashley is the exact opposite of what the WWE needs to have on TV. He looks like a black Scott Steiner. Anyway, Santino only won as a result of Bobby Lashley's interference. And there was really no way I could rate that "match."   Ok, that was a pretty good selection to start with, given that you aren't going to get any great matches out of this bunch. It's a hell of a lot better than the WWE picking so many matches I've already seen or have last month. ___________________   Ok, next is Black Saturday, which I watched about an hour ago (when I typed this part, anyway)   - Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch are awesome, although I already knew that. And the move they used to finish their squash tag match was incredible. Like a back suplex Doomsday Device.   - George Steele is a heel is much better than the watered-down version that he became just a few years later.   - Jesse Ventura's match was nothing special...that shouldn't be a surprise.   - B.Brian Blair had an interview with Gene Okerlund, talking about challenging for the WWF Tag Titles...this was quickly followed by an interview with Alexis Smirnoff. I thought Smirnoff's faux Russian accent was brutal.   - The Iron Sheik's squash match was fun, namely because of the chants, "Iran sucks" and "We Want Slaughter." Unfortunately, there was no appearance by Slaughter.   - Bobo Brazil vs. Big John Studd was tough for me to pay attention to, because my cousin wouldn't leave me alone. It was entertaining, which is more than I thought I would say. Studd won with an elbowdrop.   Overall, I can see why people were up in arms about this. And the suggestion that people were up in arms about this just because they were NWA purists is absurd. People were up in arms about this because an entire territory was GONE. I'd be pissed too if an entire roster of wrestlers that I watched and liked just disappeared. That doesn't really count for WCW, because while I watched them, I wanted them to die as a result of their stupidity. I may have been a mark, but I knew the score. Also, it became part of a storyline. This was never the case with Georgia Championship Wrestling. ___________________   Now, onto RAW, from 5/12/97. I'm using thehistoryofwwe.com to jumpstart my memory. The non-match stuff MAY be out of order.   - The show started with the Hart Foundation giving an interview, Vince Russo style. By that, I mean the promo to open the show, which has become a staple in recent weeks. Anyhow, I'm already tired of them. Bret Hart isn't the best person to be giving interviews like this. While I love the guy, he just isn't. Anyway, nothing happened, they just went backstage after being booed. These should always be a vehicle for someone else to come out and either run them down/get ran down/make or announce a match, or for an attack. None of that happened here.   - In a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match, Ahmed Johnson beat HHH by Disqualification, when Chyna hit Ahmed with a steel chair. Now, I've gotta ask a question I don't want answered. How did HHH get back in the tournament if he lost? Anyway, we'll see, but it's going to be stupid regardless.   - Scott Putski then faced Leif Cassidy...I hate Scott Putski. Putski won, and was attacked by Cassidy after the match.   - LOD beat PG-13 in a squash, when the Nation chose who they were going to send out, they sent the two small white boys. I found it funny, for that reason.   - The Undertaker defeated Savio Vega by DQ, after the Nation interfered and beat up Taker. The match sucked, and the lights took forever to go off during Undertaker's entrance. I'll get to the angles on the show at the end, after match thoughts.   - RVD beat Jeff Hardy with a split-legged moonsault. He did a giant splash during the match, but that wasn't the finish. Of note (outside of RVD making an appearance on RAW) was RVD's entrance music, you know, the ECW song where Heyman goes all EXTREME....CHAMPIONSHIP....WRESTLING. It's in the FPR ECW videos, if you don't know what I'm talking about.   - It was never announced whether this was a tag title match or not, but this elimination match was Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. The Headbangers vs. The New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon. The match was kinda shitty, because it cut to commercial in the middle. Owen and the Bulldog won the match, too. So I guess it didn't matter whether or not it was a title match. Now, for the angles/interviews, which are in no order, simply because it didn't matter. The Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels thing ended the show, as Hart was just talking to Shawn. That sucked.   - Faarooq cut a promo in the ring, on the Undertaker. After that, the Undertaker cut a promo on Faarooq, on the TitanTron. This was after Taker's match.   - Mankind came out along with a burnt Paul Bearer, to give the Undertaker a warning, before divulging a secret. I'm pretty sure what this leads to.   - Steve Austin came out and cut a promo on Brian Pillman. You have to cut the ass off a snake first. So, for the Hart Foundation, he'll start with Brian Pillman. Best part of the show.   - There was also Part 2 of that Dustin Rhodes interview, which I really didn't care about.   I think that's it. Anyway, this show wasn't too hot. Next time I'll write this stuff down, because I'm sure I forgot something. That's why there aren't any star ratings. ___________________   Now, Nitro.   - The Ultimo Dragon forced Juventud Guerrera to submit in a fun bout, for Dragon's TV Title. Juvi's mask sucks. This match didn't.disappoint, and ended with the Dragon Sleeper.   - US Champ Dean Malenko defeated Steve McMichael, after interference from Reggie White. I never want to watch the Mongo/White match. Ever. Reggie White's appearances embarass me. Reggie cut a promo after the match. It sucked.   - Wrath squashed Scotty Riggs. I hate Riggs. James Vandenburg came out, along with Mortis before the match, and Vandenburg told us Wrath's name. Glacier came out after the match, and looked menacing. Nobody cared.   - In the last match, Hugh Morrus and Konnan defeated Ice Train and Alex Wright. Wright was totally uninterested in tagging with Ice Train. Teddy Long looked fat. Also, Morrus got cold feet before attempting to moonsault Ice Train. He got up top and went all...I can't do it. Ice Train blows. Also, I love when Alex Wright does that stupid dance. Makes me laugh every time.   - For angles, Randy Savage came out and ran down DDP. Nothing in that.   - Roddy Piper, Kevin Greene and Ric Flair come to the ring and talk...until Syxx, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall appeared on a video screen and ran them down, until the video cut to commercial. My original thought was, those guys are definitely in the building...   - And then, the aformentioned members of the NWO attacked Roddy Piper. THOUGHT SO.   - Lastly, Eric Bischoff and Fake Sting came to the ring, to make fun of/talk trash about the real Sting. So Sting comes down the aisleway, and beats up Fake Sting, which causes Eric Bischoff to run away. That ended the show.   Neither was better this time. Both RAW and Nitro sucked. ___________________   Lastly, we have ECW. No, not the ECW on 24/7. The ECW that was on Sci-Fi last night. Yeah, I buckled, and I'm going to start watching WWE's product again. I knew this would happen. We'll see how it turns out. There are two reasons for this.   1. I am not missing Ric Flair's last run. No way, no how.   2. There are a few "younger" (meaning future stars) who I like, so I'd like to watch them, as well.   Ok, so...   - To start the show, Armando Alejandro Estrada brings out Chavo Guerrero. What's this about? Well, I guess Chavo got sick of hearing about CM Punk, or something. Anyway, the Cuban guy makes a match for later, which will be Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk, and if Chavo wins, he gets an ECW Title Shot. I really hate when a company books the, "if you win, you get a title shot" match. Just do. And also, where did Estrada's accent go? It's gone, isn't it. - Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore and Kelly Kelly defeated John Morrison, The Miz (both preceding are Smackdown Tag Team Champions), and Layla. During the ring entrances, I wondered, why am I watching this shit again? The reasons are self explanatory, if you watch the WWE. If you don't, well, Yang's entrance music is shit, John Morrison looks like a homosexual, and the Miz is the Miz. By, "John Morrison looks like a homosexual," I'm talking about during his entrance. There is absolutely no reason to slow down the video so that we can see his hair blow in the fake wind gusts that come out through the stage. The match was decent, and ended when Yang gave the Miz a moonsault block, for the pin. **1/4. Wang and Moore will face Morrison and the Miz in a 15 minutes of fame match next week, which entails that the team which wins the most falls will win the match. Anyway, the Miz sucks.   - Then, Big Daddy V squashed some white kid. I don't know or care what his name was.   - Shelton Benjamin beats James Curtis...this match was WAY too long. Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is cool, though, unlike his catch phrase. It was smart of him to change his hairstyle, it helps to distinguish him from any other generic wrestler.   - Last, CM Punk defeated Chavo Guerrero by countout. I was flipping back and forth between Dirty Jobs and this during most of the matches, that's why there isn't a rating for anything but the first. Hey, I like Dirty Jobs. Great show. Chavo looks flabby without being on steroids. Drastically different, but that's ok. Don't do drugs.   When there are games on (Lakers or Kings) I'll be flipping back and forth during these shows. But what I saw tonight was good, and I'll keep watching. A positive to the brand extension is that I can just ignore what I don't like watching. A negative is that I quit watching in the first place because I could just ignore shows I don't like watching. We'll see how long I keep watching for. Could only be until Flair retires, who knows. ___________________   So, yeah, that's what I've watched since the last review I posted. The next few of these may not be as in-depth as this one, I don't know. Just generally whatever I think about something, and sometimes, I don't think about anything during a particular match. This kinda turned into what I didn't want it to turn into towards the end. Too review-ish, but that was because I forgot a few things about RAW and Nitro. The next one will not be that way. I'll post the Bash at the Beach '94 review on Friday.
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Review: NWA Clash of the Champions I, from Greensboro, North Carolina, 3/27/88.

I've always wanted to see this show. So now, I will. I had people over, so I wasn't able to watch this until now. And I didn't watch Smackdown, nor do I have plans to. ___________________   Throughout the show, much like during the first RAW that was on 24/7 a few weeks ago, there are multiple interviews about things pertaining to this show. I'd like it if they did that for all the important shows they post (SNME's, Clash's, PPV's, and other shows with special occurences). Wouldn't it be great if they had people on to talk about WrestleMania IX during intervals throughout the show? I'd love to know what people in the business thought about that pile of shit show. Anyway, Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone are on commentary, with Bob Caudle conducting the interviews. ___________________   Our first match on the night is a Varsity Rules match. So, that gives away what faction one of the participants in this match represents. Anyhow, the rules are, you only need to get a one count, and there are 3 five minute periods, with 30 seconds of rest between each period. Like an amateur wrestling match. The match itself is between Jimmy Garvin w/Precious vs. Mike Rotunda w/Kevin Sullivan, for the TV Title. Rotunda talks about how the match went (now), and here we are...   Blow-by-blow: They lock-up, and break, before Rotunda takes Garvin to the canvas. Rotunda armdrags Garvin, but Garvin quickly returns the favor and gives Rotunda a hiptoss. Garvin slams Rotunda, and applies a wristlock. Rotunda pulls Garvin's hair, which forces Garvin to break the hold, and Rotunda runs away. Rotunda applies a headlock and gets shot into the ropes, where Garvin gives him a back elbow. Garvin applies a front facelock, but Rotunda makes the ropes. After that, Rotunda drops Garvin throat-first on the top rope. Rotunda clotheslines Garvin, and goes for a cover, but can't do it, as the first time period expires.   After the 30 second rest period, Rotunda slams Garvin, and goes up top. Garvin slams him off and backdrops him, so Kevin Sullivan gets on the ring apron. Precious holds onto Sullivan's leg, so Garvin clobbers him with a right to the temple. Unfortunately, he forgot about Rotunda, who rolls him up for the 1 count and the victory at 6:02. After, Garvin gives Rotunda a brainbuster, as Rick Steiner runs in. Precious hits Steiner with a 2x4, and chokes out Sullivan with a hanger. Where the hell did she get that?   Match Analysis: I love the concept. It's great. The match wasn't very long, though, so the rating isn't so hot. Just **. Typical JCP heatfest, not that I'm complaining about that. Good start to the show. ___________________   Bob Caudle is with Dr. Death Steve Williams, who treats us to a turrible promo. Turrible. He wants a shot at Ric Flair.   Jim Ross talks about how good the Fantastics/Midnight Express rivalry was (now), in our segue to... ___________________   The Fantastics vs. The Midnight Express w/Jim Cornette for the US Tag Team Titles. The Fantastics are Robert Fulton and Tommy Rogers, in case you didn't know.   Blow-by-blow: Honestly, they went nuts and brawled for the start of the match. I'm talking, ECW level brawl here. The Fantastics get the best, until Eaton grabs a chair and table, and hits both Fantastics with it. Fulton goes to work on Stan Lane in the corner, but the Express double team Rogers, gaining control. Eaton smashes his face in, and Lane tags in, delivering a savate kick to Rogers. Eaton punches away, and with the referee distracted, Cornette picks up a table and Eaton rams Rogers into it. Lane comes in and gives Rogers a legdrop and elbowdrop. Eaton comes in and powerslams Rogers before going to the top, where he gives Rogers an elbowdrop. Lane comes in and gives Rogers a gutwrench suplex; afterward, he picks Rogers nose for him. The Midnight Express give Rogers a Demolition Decapitation, and Eaton gives him a 10 punch in the corner. Rogers gives Eaton a sunset flip, but the ref is distracted and Lane switches in. Lane dumps Rogers out, and Eaton slams Rogers onto, but not through a table. Eaton BULLDOGS Rogers onto the table, so Fulton needs to come over and help him regroup. Eaton tags in, and gives Rogers a legdrop. Fulton tries to tag in, but the referee never saw it. So, Fulton tosses the official over the top, while Cornette comes into the ring. Cornette waffles Eaton with his tennis racket on accident, and Fulton comes off the top during a ROCKET LAUNCHER, winning the tag titles at 10:15. I saw this coming from a mile away, it's a DUSTY FINISH! Because Fulton put his hands on the referee, see. So, the Midnight Express keep their titles. Cornette goes to work on the Fantastics, and Lane whips Fulton with a belt. Haha.   Match Analysis: This match is overrated. I don't even know where to start. I suppose I'll start with Rogers not being in the match after the original brawl. That's dumb. Dusty Finishes are stupid too. More to mark off. And then the ridiculous overbooking. Do not like. ****, because it was HIGHLY entertaining, and there was really good wrestling. The brawling kept me from being really harsh. I'm probably out on Bledsoe Island with this star rating. ___________________   Caudle talks about the barbed wire match later, and Ken Osmond, who plays a guy on the new Leave it to Beaver (that sure worked out well) shows up, and talks with Jim Cornette about going to Cornette's mama's house.   Afterward, Al Perez and Gary Hart are with Caudle, to talk about wanting to be a part of this setup right here. Perez wants to fight Dusty Rhodes, I suppose.   Last, we get a rundown of the top 10 seeds for Crockett Cup '88. Just search for Crockett Cup '88 if you want a match listing, all I wrote down was that Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson were the #1 seed. ___________________   Dusty talks about the barbed wire match (now), which brings us to...   The Road Warriors and Dusty Rhodes w/Paul Ellering vs. The Powers of Pain and Ivan Koloff w/Paul Jones in a BARBED WIRE MATCH.   Blow-by-blow: The barbed wire doesn't look so rough, but I wouldn't dare say that it looks like it wouldn't hurt. It's impossible to follow the action, because the PoP and Road Warriors wear the exact same stuff. Animal's wearing a helmet to protect his eye, so I can see him. Still, it's a 6 person brawl that's restricted to a tiny ring. Dusty and Koloff bleed, Animal powerslams Warlord, and that's basically it, after the pin at 3:37. The heels got SQUASHED. After the match, the Powers of Pain pull Animal's helmet off and beat on his eye while Koloff whips Hawk with his chain, until Dusty saves them.   Match Analysis: The Dusty booking is in full force on this show. Short, sweet, and to the point. That's how I like Dusty matches. *3/4. It was a mess, but one you can enjoy. ___________________   Nikita's with hair, and oh, Bob Caudle too, where he says that kids shouldn't do drugs. Glasnost and stuff, then he bashes Kevin Sullivan.   Barry Windham talks about the upcoming match (now)...again, I reiterate that there should be interviews and stuff like this on every important thing that WWE puts on their 24/7 channel. ___________________   As I was saying, it's Barry Windham and Lex Luger vs. Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson w/JJ Dillon for the NWA Tag Titles. The Four Horsemen connection is so obvious that I really didn't even need to mention it.   Blow-by-blow: Ross calls the challengers the "twin towers." Hey, those were his words, not mine. Luger and Tully start the match, as Luger pushes Tully down to the canvas. Luger poses, until the champions double up on him. Luger clotheslines both, and powerslams Blanchard. It's time for the TORTURE RACK, but Arn kicks Luger in the knee to stop that. Arn tags in, and goes to work on Luger's knee. Elbows and kneedrops galore, until Tully tags back in. Tully does the same, until Luger makes a comeback. Tully takes him to the canvas and Arn tags in, trying for the figure-four. Can't get it, and in Windham comes. Windham gives Tully a LARIAT, and powerslams him for a 2 count. Windham applies a sleeper, and when Tully tries to reach the ropes, Windham rolls through the ropes and keeps the hold applied, outside of the ring. Arn tries to revive Tully when Windham breaks the hold, so when Tully comes in the ring, he applies a choke. Then Tully goes up top, where Windham slams him to the canvas. Windham applies an abdominal stretch, but Arn tags in. He tags Windham with a left hand, and gives him a DDT for 2. Arn gives Windham a spinebuster for two, but Windham knees him in the nuts. Tully tags in, and elbows Windham in the head for a 2 count. Windham gives Tully a crossbody for 2, and then they collide in the center of the ring. Tully takes Windham down so he can't make the tag, and Windham bridges out of a pin attempt, into a double underhook suplex. Arn tags in and grabs onto Windham's arm, but Windham reverses, although he's still unable to tag Luger. Arn misses a kneedrop, but Tully gets in before the tag, and gives Windham a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX, which gets a 2 count. It's tapered off from its hot start, but it's still a great match. Luger and Arn find their way into the ring, and Luger cleans house. Clotheslines for all, until Tully knees Luger in the back. Luger throws Arn into the buckle, and powerslams him, which ignites another brawl. JJ Dillon comes into the ring with a chair as Tully distracts the ref, but Dillon hits Arn with the chair on accident. Luger pins Arn at 9:33, and we have new tag champions! Their title reign didn't last very long, though.   Match Analysis: I liked it more than the earlier tag match. That's not to say it was a better match. It wasn't. I liked how well these two teams worked the formula, and the crowd as well. ***1/2. I could watch this one a few more times. ___________________   Various people talk about competition with WrestleMania IV on that very same night (now), and somehow, that brings us to....   Sting vs. Ric Flair for the NWA Heavyweight Title. There are three judges for this match, Gary Juster, Sandy Scott, and Ken Osmond. The other two have something to do with the business, I think Juster was on the NWA Board of Directors. Anyhow, JJ Dillon must be locked in a cage for the duration of the bout. There's a 45 minute time limit, too.   Blow-by-blow: You can tell by the crowd reaction that Sting isn't that over. Yet. They lock-up, and both men break to do their little wooos. Flair puts Sting in an armwringer, but Sting reverses it. Sting puts Flair in a headlock, and takes him down to the canvas when Flair reverses it into a wristlock. Flair reaches the ropes, and chops away at Sting, who no-sells the blows. Sting hiptosses Flair, and sends him out of the ring with a dropkick. Flair comes back in, and applies a hammerlock, which gets reversed by Sting. Flair makes it to the ropes, but is given a gorilla press slam by Sting. Sting follows that up with a flying headscissor, and a hiptoss. He takes Flair to the canvas with a headlock that gets 2, and stays with the headlock. For a really long time. Sting's bleeding from one of Flair's chops, as we're still in the headlock after a shoulderblock. The build is far too slow. Flair goes for a 10 punch in the corner, but Sting prevents it and hiptosses him. 10 minutes have passed, and Flair tosses Sting out of the ring after a missed dropkick. Sting comes in really quick, and punches Flair 5 times at the corner, before taking him over with a headlock for 2. Flair makes it to the ropes, and gets gorilla pressed again. Sting applies a bearhug to Flair, which lasts about three minutes. You know, when typing this, my opinion of the match just lessens. It's sounds even more boring. We're 16:00 in, and nothing's really happened. This was where the match got good. Sting misses an elbowdrop, and misses a STINGER SPLASH, too. Flair gives Sting an inverted atomic drop, and tosses Sting out of the ring, where he rams him into the railing that surrounds the ring. Flair brings him in, and rams him into the turnbuckle twice, after chopping him. Flair kneedrops Sting twice, and rakes him on the back. Flair grabs a chair, but instead, he gutshots Sting and sends him back into the guardrail, on the outside. Flair chops away inside the ring, but Sting no-sells it, and knocks Flair over the top rope with a big right hand. Sting misses a charge at Flair, and accidentally clotheslines the ring post. Inside, Sting chokes Flair after reversing a wristlock, and gives Flair another hiptoss. He clotheslines Flair for 2, and when Flair tries to bail out, Sting suplexes him back in from the ring apron. Sting applies the SCORPION DEATHLOCK, but Flair makes the ropes. Sting chokes Flair with his boot, but Flair is able to get up and chop him. Sting no-sells that, so Flair begs. Sting hiptosses Flair AGAIN, but he misses a charge at Flair and flies over the top rope. Sting comes back into the ring, so Flair chokes him. That does absolutely nothing, as Flair knocks Sting away, and goes to the top, hitting a crossbody for 2. Flair gives Sting a kneebreaker, and kicks him right in the leg, before giving him another kneebreaker. Flair gives Sting a back suplex, as 30 minutes have passed. Flair gives Sting the FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK, and grabs the ropes to cheat. A lot. Sting pulls Flair away from the ropes, and reverses the hold, causing Flair to break it. Flair tries to suplex Sting out of the ring, but Sting reverses and suplexes him back in. Sting goes for a splash, but he eats knees. Sting applies an abdominal stretch, but Flair finds a way to get him to break the hold. Flair goes to the top after an elbowdrop, and Sting slams him off the top, for a 2 count. Sting takes Flair over to the ringpost, and slides him into it, nuts first. Sting gives Flair a FIGURE-FOUR, but Flair reaches the ropes. Sting gives Flair ANOTHER hiptoss, and stomps away at Flair's knee. Flair pushes the official, so the official pushes back, knocking Flair down. Sting takes Flair to the buckle, and Flair does his flip over the turnbuckles, falling to the floor afterward. Sting rams Flair into a table, and the guardrail, and the ringpost as well. Sting knocks Flair over the guardrail, and pulls him back over, toward the ring. Flair sunset flips in, but Sting knocks him right in the mouth, and takes him to the corner. 40 minutes have passed. Sting gives Flair a 5 punch at the corner, and Flair tries an inverted atomic drop. He isn't able to, so Sting clotheslines him for 2. Sting misses a STINGER SPLASH, and flies over the top, with 3 minutes remaining. Flair chops Sting, and Sting returns the punishment with a shoulderblock. Flair applies a sleeper, so Sting charges at the turnbuckle and ducks, causing Flair's face to ram right into the turnbuckle. Flair dumps Sting out to rest, but Sting flies back in with a sunset flip attempt. Flair grabs the ropes and gets a 2 count, but when forced to let go of the ropes, Sting brings him over for a 2 count. Two minutes remain. Sting takes Flair to the turnbuckle, where he does the Flair Flip, and Flair comes off the top with a crossbody that gets reversed for a 2 count. Flair chops and kicks, but it does absolutely nothing. 1 minute remains. Sting gives Flair a 5 punch at the corner, and a STINGER SPLASH. Sting applies the SCORPION DEATHLOCK, with 30 seconds remaining. Flair holds on...10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...Flair submits, but the bell has sounded. We go to the judges decision, and...they cannot decide on a winner. We have a DRAW, and Flair remains World Champion. That's the end of the show, too.   Match Analysis: The beginning of the match really was not very good, and neither was Sting's repetitive moveset. He must've hiptossed Flair 8 or 9 times, I didn't even mention all of them, I think. The last 30 minutes of the match were among the best I've ever seen in North American wrestling. I suppose I'll meet somewhere and call it ****1/4, because really, the end always has more importance than the beginning. It's still overrated in regards to what I've heard about it in the past, but this really was the match that established Sting. By the end of the match, those fans were going insane for him. ___________________   Rating: Excellent. If you have any questions about what I said in regards to Sting/Flair, just ask. The entire card was fantastic. I'd be hard pressed to find many other wrestling events that I could sit down and watch at random. Watch it.   Best Segment: Flair/Sting. That said, I loved the NWA Tag Title Match.   Worst Segment: Dr. Death's terrible promo. It was horrendous.   Everyone got great crowd reactions. This show was a perfect example of how you book guys to get over and look strong. Not to say that Dusty Finishes are any good, mind you. ___________________   My next thing will have RAW, a few matches from the Ladder Match DVD (the ones that were on RAW), and WWECW.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 2/7/08, featuring RAW, a few thoughts on ladder matches, and WWEECW.

This is the first time I haven't really been too jazzed about watching RAW. It'll probably be crap. ___________________   From Austin, Texas, we have a contract signing, but we also have a John Cena vs. Mark Henry in an armwrestling contest later. Randy Orton wants John Cena to sign a contract so he can't back out of the match at No Way Out. Unless Orton attacks and bloodies him, I don't see the point of this. Cena gets a huge positive reaction when he makes his way out, and signs the contract. Mark Henry runs down to the ring to attack Cena, but Orton gives Cena an RKO first. Smart move. ___________________   We get a Steve Austin DVD promo next...I would've bought this a few years ago, but since then, I've only bought two or three wrestling DVD's, those being the Jake Roberts DVD, Bret Hart DVD and HBK DVD. I wanted to buy the World Class one, but didn't.   Randy Orton's with Mark Henry, so Todd Grisham pops in for an interview bit. Orton justifies his actions, as we go to... ___________________   Kelly Kelly and Mickie James vs. Victoria and Beth Phoenix.   - Uh, brand extension? I wouldn't say anything if it was ever attempted to justify why two non-RAW wrestlers were in the matches they're usually in. Say they were loaned to the show, or something. Mickie's almost as over as Trish was, if not more so.   - Mickie pins Victoria after a tornado DDT at 2:42. Nothing spectacular. *1/4.   William Regal is with Hornswoggle, and he thinks Hornswoggle should be proud of joining the "Kiss my Ass" club tonight. You know, because Regal's a member! ___________________   Shawn Michaels comes out for a promo, cause he's putting everyone who's going to be in the Elimination Chamber on notice. I saw that the entrance was on the right side of the screen as opposed to the left side this week, and the same goes for their new video wall. It's all in reverse. Why? Chris Jericho interrupts HBK, because he doesn't think he'll win the Elimination Chamber. Y2J will, but Jeff Hardy believes otherwise. He has the desire to be in the main event at WrestleMania, you see. JBL REALLY doesn't think so. He says that Texas is a pile of trash, and that's why he left. Mega heel heat for that. JBL says that he'll pay Umaga to protect him in the chamber. So, obviously, UMAGA makes his way to the ring, and quickly thereafter, comes Snitsky. Snitsky says that he should be allowed into the Elimination Chamber. Umaga can't speak English, so he didn't say anything. HBK says that Snitsky only deserves dental care, and now, they all brawl. At least, until William Regal comes out. It'll be Snitsky, JBL and UMANGA vs. HBK, Y2J and Jeff Hardy in a 6 man tag, later tonight. ___________________   Mr. Kennedy faces Super Crazy next...   - I'm surprised that Super Crazy hasn't been released yet. I'm sure he will be soon.   - Anyhow, there's very good psychology in this match. Kennedy applies a strange looking figure-four, and that gets Super Crazy to submit at 2:30. **. The microphone comes down, and we see a clip from MVP vs. Ric Flair on Smackdown last week. MVP got disqualified after not releasing a figure-four, so he attacked Flair after the match. He took Flair out, so to speak. Next week, Kennedy is going to give Flair a chance to forfeit their match at No Way Out. That won't happen.   Mike Adamle is in the crowd, hyping No Way Out. He's been good with this. ___________________   It's Carlito and Santino Marella w/Maria vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick, now.   - I'm starting to get sick of the same guys jobbing every week. It's very annoying.   - Anyway, London chases Santino around the ring for more than half the match, and Carlito gives Kendrick a BACKSTABBER, which gets him the pinfall at 1:08. 1/2* I think that was the first time that Santino did something that was supposed to be funny and I didn't laugh. It was stupid.   Vince McMahon is with a guy who's buffing his ass. What the fuck? ___________________   Let's get this over with quickly. Vince comes to the ring to talk about how all children should kiss their parents asses, literally. This was a great reason to flip the channel and never watch this show again, but I didn't change it. Should I have? Probably. Anyway, this segment was pretty disturbing. Hornswoggle comes out, and won't kiss Vince's ass. "My eyes!" Finlay comes to the ring, and Vince tells him that he's going to kiss his ass once Hornswoggle is done. Hornswoggle then bites Vince on the ass...isn't that worse than kissing it? Next week, it'll be Vince vs. Hornswoggle in a NO DQ match. And if Finlay interferes, HE'LL BE FIRED! I'm glad the crowd sat on their hands during that segment. It was terrible. ___________________   Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch faced Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (World Tag Team Champions) in a non-title match after that pile of junk segment, and...   - I haven't seen the champions defend these titles once. That's pretty bad.   - I don't hate Cody, but he's way too bland. He shouldn't even be on TV, yet. He DDT's Murdoch and picks up the win at 2:14. *. Carlito and Santino come out, because they're the new #1 contenders. That's all they had to say.   The Divas did Project Runway, this show on Bravo where these wannabe fashion designers, design clothes, obviously. I've never watched it. ___________________   Here's our main event, UMAGA, Snitsky and JBL vs. Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.   - But for Snitsky, this could be very good. HBK gets a huge pop when they start the match, because this is Texas. I've noticed that JR has been a better announcer than when I quit watching a few years back. He doesn't bungle stuff nearly as often.   - Before the commercial break, all three babyfaces plancha'd onto an opponent, in stereo. That was cool. The heat segment on Chris Jericho killed the match. I nearly fell asleep. Snitsky and Umaga just applied a hold and sat there during their respective stints in the ring. I absolutely CANNOT stand that.   - The hot tag was made to Jeff Hardy, and then everyone hit a finisher, which ended with Jeff Hardy giving Snitsky the SWANTON BOMB at 15:12. Hot finish, hot start. Awful middle. I suppose I'll be kind and give it **1/4. ___________________   Candice Michelle returns to RAW soon, but I don't really care.   John Cena is going to face Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match, because Cena is at 100%, you know. Honestly, this kind of stuff reminds me too much of the Scott Steiner/HHH feud that SHOOK THE FOUNDATIONS of RAW in early 2003. Anyway, nobody wins the arm wrestling contest, because we have interference! Randy Orton tries to attack Cena from behind, but he bails out when Cena begins to make a comeback. Mark Henry's in trouble, F-U, end show. ___________________   This was a bad show. Really bad. Best segment was the six man tag, which isn't to say much at all, and the worst was the ridiculousness of having an arm wrestling contest on a wrestling program. Just WRESTLE, why don't you. ___________________   Before RAW, I watched parts 3 and 4 of the Ladder Match DVD that's been posted on 24/7. Why put it after RAW, you ask? Because I can. I just rated and noticed a few things about the matches which took place on RAW. I had a lot going on Tuesday.   The first one which took place on RAW was Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero for the Intercontinental Championship from 5/27/02.   - The part where the fan ran into the ring was cut out, which sucked. I have this match on the Eddie DVD, so nothing really stood out to me on a whole that I hadn't noticed before. It isn't the best ladder match, but it's pretty damn good. RVD wins the match after 20 minutes, btw. ****. ___________________   The 2nd ladder match that took place on RAW was Jeff Hardy vs. the Undertaker for the Undisputed Title from 7/1/02.   - I am and I probably always will be in favor of bringing back the Undisputed Title. With two World Titles, you kinda see a lot of the same things happen on each brand within a few months of each other. That's a problem.   - This match was better than I remembered it, which isn't really to say a lot, because I was working my ass off in football and didn't really pay attention to wrestling at the time. A great job was done of building the crowd to believe that Jeff could really win the title. Taker did great, and Jeff did great. Obviously Taker won, at 14:05. ***3/4. ___________________   The last match in these two parts which took place on RAW was Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Bubba Ray and Spike Dudley vs. RVD and Jeff Hardy vs. Kane in TLC match for the World Tag Team Titles from 10/7/02.   - Hurricane was gone, after being attacked by Ric Flair and HHH before the match.   - IMO, this match is better than all the other TLC matches. Hands down. I take back what I said about TLC 1 being the best. The flow was better. The spots were better, and you don't necessarily need tons and tons of falls off the top of ladders through tables to make a match great. This one was really, really fun. Plus, my cousin thought it was the best match he'd seen. So there. *****. Next time I see this one, I'll give it the full review it deserves. Outstanding. ___________________   Now, we have WWECW, from Corpus Christi, TX. This show was a pile of shit, so my notes are VERY short. I was thoroughly bored. ___________________   CM Punk came to the ring, and showed us video from last week where he attacked Chavo Guerrero during a fiesta to celebrate his championship win in the previous week. Chavo comes to the ring, and says that Punk insulted his heritage. Armando Estrada is outside of the building, and says that these two will fight each other in a Gulf of Mexico match. To win, you have to throw your opponent into the water. WOW. We have WrestleCrap occuring right before our eyes, between two wrestlers I like. This is embarassing. At No Way Out, Punk gets a title shot, so it's all good. ___________________   Our first match is Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool vs. Victoria and Layla.   - This was not very good. At least someone who knows how to wrestle won, that being Victoria, after she gave Kelly Kelly the Widow's Peak at 2:42. 1/4*.   Kane faces Shelton Benjamin on Smackdown this week...hey, now I'm definitely going to watch the show. Seriously. ___________________   John Morrison w/The Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer w/Collin Delaney was our first singles match on the night...   - Last week, Delaney was beaten by Morrison and the Miz in a handicap match. Tommy Dreamer went out to help after the match, so here we are. I suppose Dreamer is his protector.   - Morrison tried to do a sky twister press and nearly landed on his head. Save that for the smaller guys, me thinks. Miz became a punching bag for Dreamer later in the match, but it also allowed Morrison to hit Dreamer with a neckbreaker variation for the win, so it worked. Didn't get the time. *3/4.   Stevie Richards had a sitdown interview with Joey Styles, hopefully he'll be back soon. The brand could use him. ___________________   Kofi Kingston faces James Curtis next...   - This wasn't very good either. Kingston won with his kick, and my time disappeared. Needless to say, I wasn't about to go find it. DUD. ___________________   Here's the Gulf of Mexico match, between CM Punk and Chavo Guerrero.   - I thought these two should have an Extreme Rules match, but not like this. Dusty's hand is all over this show. They brawled out of the arena, and tossed each other onto cars. I liked it.   - The concept is definitely WrestleCrap, but the actual match wasn't, at all. Punk GTS'd Chavo into the Gulf at 7:12. **1/4. Good match, and end show. ___________________   The show as a whole was a pile of shit. There were decent matches, but it was so uninteresting. I'll call it bad, best segment was the Gulf of Mexico match and the worst was Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis. Kingston has not been good thus far. ___________________   Next column will have the Boston show from 9/6/86 (I already took notes, so I'm not backing out), original ECW, and Friday Night Smackdown. Should be up on Saturday.   The Savage and Liz Coliseum Video is going to get a review all on its own, which should be up on Sunday, I think. I have this planned out well, for once.
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Review: WWF WrestleMania 2, from Chicago, Illinois; Long Island, NY; and Los Angeles, CA, 4/7/1986.

This isn't the best show as you all know, but like all others, it's going to be reviewed. ___________________   Gene Okerlund (now) introduces the show...and from New York, it's Vince McMahon and Susan St. James. America the Beautiful is sung by Ray Charles, and you can't say anything bad about that. Mean Gene says some things from Chicago, and before our first match, Roddy Piper has something to say about his boxing match against Mr. T. Nothing of note is said. ___________________   The first match on the card is Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco w/Mr. Fuji.   Blow-by-blow: These two have attributes which Vince loves. Big, and roided. Thus, they start the show off. Both say things via soundbyte at the beginning of the match, and here we go. Muraco and Orndorff slam each other, and after Orndorff's slam, he makes fun of Fuji's race. Cold. Muraco knees Orndorff and elbows him, but Orndorff whips Muraco into the buckle and backdrops him. An armdrag and drop toe-hold follow, as does an armbar. A Muraco armdrag doesn't break Orndorff's armbar, but a samoan drop does. They trade punches, and Orndorff gives Muraco an elbow. Both brawl to the outside, and we have a double countout at 4:33. Big "bullshit" chant follows, and yeah, those fans certainly have the right. This isn't a TV taping.   Match Analysis: Yeah, that was a terrible finish. Was going well until that point...*1/4.   Mr. T says that his fists are going to do the talking tonight, and now... ___________________   Here's George Steele vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/Elizabeth for the Intercontinental Championship. But first, Randy Savage cuts a promo.   Blow-by-blow: To start, we have the typical beginning of match Steele nonsense. He chases Savage around the ring, and when back inside, he gives Savage a choketoss. He's infatuated with Liz, so Savage is able to take control. He gives Steele a crossbody off the top for a 2 count, so Steele dumps him to the outside. Macho sneaks in from the other side of the ring and attacks, but Steele bites him. Savage goes outside to grab some flowers, and after hitting Steele with them, Steele gets them and shoves them in Savage's face. Steele comes a little too close to Liz outside the ring, so Savage comes off the top with BOMBS AWAY. On the inside, he slams Steele and goes up to the top, coming off with the FLYING ELBOW. It only gets a 2 count (WTF?), so after a Steele missed charge, Savage covers him with his feet on the ropes for 3 at 7:08.   Match Analysis: Awful. Awful. Awful. On the basis of strictly wrestling, there were, uh, 6 wrestling moves, counting the rollup w/feet on ropes. Ain't good enough, and certainly worth negatives. -**. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Bill Fralic and Big John Studd in Chicago to talk about the battle royal, and of course, the two disagree on a few things. Back to New York we go... ___________________   For George Wells vs. Jake "the Snake" Roberts.   Blow-by-blow: Wells attacks Roberts to start the match, and backdrops him. Roberts tosses Wells out and fights him on the outside, until Wells tosses him back in. Wells shoulderblocks Roberts and headbutts him, then he whips him into the buckle. Wells gives him a flying headscissors, and a scoop slam. Wells gives Roberts a kneelift and powerslam, which gets a 2 count. Roberts bails to the outside, and when he comes back in, he gives Wells a kneelift. That's followed up by the DDT, for the 3 count at 3:07. Roberts takes Damien out of the bag, and puts him all over Wells. Gross.   Match Analysis: Simple Roberts squash. Nothing wrong there. *3/4. ___________________   There's some taped footage from the Mr. T/Roddy Piper feud, mostly featuring stuff that was in my last review.   Hulk Hogan's with Jesse Ventura in Los Angeles...yes, I marked to see Ventura interviewing Hogan. Hogan doesn't care about Jesse, BROTHER, only Bundy, BROTHER. ___________________   Howard Finkel is with a few celebrities, and with the use of wikipedia, I can tell you what all are famous for. Joan Rivers (obvious, don't need to say), is the guest ring announcer. The guest judges for this boxing match are Darryl Dawkins (basketball player), Cab Calloway (jazz singer), and G. Gordon Liddy (mastermind of first break-in during Watergate). The timekeeper is Herb (famous for some Burger King commercials). He's a nerd, you know.   Yeah, the match is Mr. T vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper in a boxing match. The wrestlers have Joe Frazier and Lou Duva in their corners, respectively. I'm going to save a ton of words, and use the fast-forward button. As we all know, Piper slams Mr. T with the referee down and gets disqualified. We can call this -*****. It's one of the worst matches I've ever seen. There's a postmatch brawl, and thankfully, this ends the worst portion of the show. ___________________   To Chicago we go, with Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund and Cathy Lee Crosby.   The first match on that portion of the card is Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah for the Ladies Title.   Blow-by-blow: Moolah snapmares McIntyre while pulling her hair, and clotheslines McIntyre as well. McIntyre comes back with two dropkicks and a back elbow, before a scoop slam. McIntyre goes up to the 2nd rope, but she misses a splash and Moolah pins her for 3 at the 58 second mark.   Match Analysis: *, standard fare, and too short to knock off or add to anyway. ___________________   The next bout was Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff w/Classy Freddie Blassie.   Blow-by-blow: Volkoff sings the Russian National Anthem, which I love. Unfortunately, he doesn't get pelted with trash. Kirchner's dubbed music is comical. Enough of that though, as Volkoff starts the bout with a spin kick. Volkoff tosses Kirchner out and bites him, before ramming him into the ringpost. Kirchner bleeds and they go back in the ring, where Kirchner makes his comeback. Kirchner pushes the referee, then grabs Blassie's cane and hits Volkoff with it. That gets the pinfall at 1:35.   Match Analysis: Sucked. Too short. 1/2*. ___________________   For the battle royal, I'll pull something out of an old file. I've reviewed it before.   From WrestleMania 2 in Chicago, we have a battle royal, and the participants are Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Ted Arcidi, King Tonga, Hillbilly Jim, Big John Studd, Tony Atlas, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Danny Spivey, Pedro Morales, BRUNO Sammartino, the Iron Sheik, Jimbo Covert, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, Ernie Holmes, Harvey Martin, THE FRIDGE, and Andre the Giant.   This one really is impossible to review, unlike the one at the MSG show I reviewed a couple weeks ago (actually, it's been months, now). The total combined weight of the wrestlers involved...5,612 pounds. Yo. Order of elimination goes like this...Tonga, Covert, Holmes, Brunzell, Atlas, Morales, Martin, Arcidi (at this point, I notice that Fridge is wearing a thong. Gross.), Spivey, Blair and Hillbilly, Fralic, Sheik, Bruno, and then, it gets easier to review. Studd dumps Fridge, but Fridge pulls Studd out after a handshake. Bret, Francis, Neidhart and Andre are left, and a double dropkick by the Hart Foundation ties Andre up in the ropes, and then, Francis gets eliminated. Andre gives Bret a big boot, then rams the Harts heads into each other. Neidhart gets dumped, and then Andre press slams Bret to the floor, where he lands on Neidhart. Andre wins the battle royal, which was a given. 7/10, the uniqueness of having football players involved made it worth watching.   (P.S. I changed the rating to 7/10. Wasn't really as great as I first thought.) ___________________   The main event from Chicago is the British Bulldogs w/Captain Lou Albano and Ozzy Osbourne vs. The Dream Team w/Johnny V for the WWF Tag Titles. There is another referee on the outside, so no cheating.   Blow-by-blow: Davey and Valentine starts, with an elbow from Valentine. Valentine misses an elbowdrop, but he hiptosses Davey. Valentine misses a forearm, so Dynamite tags in. He rams Valentine into the buckle for a 2 count, and gives him a snap suplex. After an elbowdrop, Davey tags back in and gives Valentine a delayed vertical suplex, for a 2 count. Davey rams Valentine into the buckle, but Valentine comes back with an elbow and a headbutt below the belt, to put it kindly. Beefcake tags in and tries to work on Davey's arm, but Davey gives him a gorilla press slam. Dynamite tags in, and chops Beefcake for a 2 count. He cradles Beefcake for 2, and Davey tags in. Davey gives Beefcake a fisherman's suplex for 2, and then Valentine tags in. He comes off the top with a big chop, and gives Davey a suplex for 2. Valentine goes to a short chinlock, but Dynamite tags in and shouldercharges into Valentine for a 2 count. A double shoulderblock gets 2, as Beefcake breaks up the cover. Dynamite sunset-flips Valentine for 2, and gives him a backbreaker for 2. A kneedrop follows for 2, but Valentine comes back with a piledriver for 2. Gorilla Monsoon says that Ozzy is shaking at ringside...go figure. *Insert joke here* Valentine goes to the top, but Dynamite slams him off. The cover only gets one as they brawl, and Dynamite slams Valentine. Smith tries to gorilla press Dynamite onto Valentine, but Valentine gets out of the way. He clocks Dynamite from behind, but Davey tags in and gives Valentine the running powerslam for a 2 count. Davey suplexes Valentine for 2, but Valentine gains control when he rams Davey shoulder-first into the ringpost. Beefcake tags in and gives Davey a hammerlock, then he drops him on his head after raising him into the air. He rams Davey to the buckle, and tags in Valentine, who gives Davey a shoulderbreaker for 2. He pulls Davey up, but as Dynamite is perched on the top turnbuckle, Davey rams Valentine's head into Dynamite's, which gets the pinfall at 12:01. To say Dynamite took a huge bump down to the floor is an understatement. After the match, Davey, Ozzy and Lou Albano say a few things, basically how glad the Bulldogs are that they're champions, and that they'll stay around in the US to defend them.   Match Analysis: The one constant in all these good Dream Team matches is that Beefcake doesn't come in the match very much. I don't recall whether or not I said that before. I didn't think it was as good as the match from Saturday Night's Main Event. I would've given it ***1/2, but Dynamite's huge bump takes that up a notch. We're talking Mick Foley levels of bumpage there. ***3/4. ___________________   To Los Angeles we go, where Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira are on commentary.   The first match from LA is Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez.   Blow-by-blow: Lee Marshall is the ring announcer. That's weird. Hercules attacks at the start, and rams Steamboat into the buckle. Steamboat comes back with a few armdrags, and holds onto Hercules with an armbar. Steamboat gives Hercules another armdrag, and a few elbowdrops to boot. Steamboat gives Hercules a back elbow and suplex, but Hercules gains control after ramming Steamboat into the turnbuckle. Hercules gives Steamboat a BIG clothesline, and drops him throat-first on the top rope. Steamboat tries a slam, but Hercules falls on top of him for 2. Hercules gives Steamboat two elbowdrops, and then poses, before a cover that gets 2. Hercules clotheslines Steamboat for 2, and gives him two gorilla press slams, before going to the top. Hercules dives off and onto Steamboat's knees, so Steamboat goes up top and gives him a crossbody for the victory at 7:31.   Match Analysis: Pretty good stuff. This should've been the match to open the show in New York. **1/2. ___________________   Uncle Elmer (ugh) vs. Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart is the next bout...   Blow-by-blow: At the start, the crowd chants "faggot" towards Adonis. I larfed. Adonis is wearing a dress, at least until Elmer tears it off. Adonis hugs Jimmy Hart after being chased, and back inside, Elmer attacks him. He tosses Adonis towards the buckle, and Adonis goes upside-down, over and out. Back in, and an Elmer right puts Adonis out. Now Elmer tears off Adonis' dress, and he slingshots Adonis into the ring. Adonis gets tied in the ropes and beaten up, at least until he's untied. He comes back in and Elmer gives him an AVALANCHE, but he misses a big legdrop. Adrian goes to the top and gives Elmer a big splash, which gets the victory at 3:01.   Match Analysis: Haven't seen anything better from Elmer, but this was all Adonis anyway. Elmer just stood there and punched once in a while. *1/2. ___________________   Lord Alfred Hayes is with Hulk Hogan, well you know somethin' AWFUL ALFRED, BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER I'M GONNA WHIP BUNDY BROTHER. ___________________   The next matchup is a good one, which has the Funk Brothers w/Jimmy Hart taking on the Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana.   Blow-by-blow: I'm not going to call Dory Funk "Hoss Funk." We'll just call him Dory. Terry throws a chair into the ring, but Dory and JYD are going to start the match. They lock-up, and Terry falls into the ring while trying to grab JYD, so JYD slams them both. The Funks bail, and when getting back in, it's Santana taking on Terry. Terry chops away, until Santana clotheslines him over the top rope. Santana dropkicks Dory a few times, until Terry gets back into the ring. JYD tags in, and rams Terry into the buckle a whole bunch. JYD headbutts Terry for a 2 count, and tosses him over the top rope after the cover. Dory and Santana come in, and Santana gives Dory the FLYING JALAPENO for 2. Santana and Dory do a criss-cross, at least until Terry knees Santana in the back. Terry tosses Tito out so Jimmy Hart can kick him, but eventually, JYD stops that. He chases Hart away and puts Santana back in the ring, where Terry suplexes him for a 2 count. The referee pushes Terry when Terry gets a little rude, and we have a double collision. Dory comes in and gives Santana a double underhook suplex for 2, and Terry tags back in. A double clothesline and legdrop follows, for a 2 count. Terry misses a second legdrop, which allows JYD to tag in. He cleans house, until Terry chokes him with the tag rope. JYD backdrops Terry to the floor (GIANT BUMP), and then he slams him through a table. WHOA. JYD clocks Hart, as Santana puts the FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK on Dory, but Terry wallops JYD upside his head with the megaphone. Obviously, that allows him to get the pinfall, and the time was 11:43.   Match Analysis: Hell yes. That was fun. On most other shows, this is the best tag match. On most, but on this one, no. Still great. ***1/4. ___________________   Before the main event, there's a Bundy/Hogan feud recap. Hogan's lifting weights and talking to MEAN GENE, but afterward, we have another promo....   It's King Kong Bundy and Bobby Heenan, who are talking to Jesse Ventura. Routine "I am the next WWF Champ" stuff. ___________________   Yeah, the last match on the card is King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan vs. Hulk Hogan in a STEEL CAGE match for the WWF Championship. Tommy Lasorda is your ring announcer, and who cares about the rest.   Blow-by-blow: Hogan attacks and chokes King Kong Bundy with the strap on his ring attire, before ramming Bundy into the cage. Hogan clotheslines Bundy and hits him with a running elbow, so Bundy goes to Hogan's injured ribs. Bundy slams Hogan and puts his boot in his face, before going for the cage door. He can't make it out, so instead, he slams Hogan into the cage. Back to the door he goes, but he can't make it out. Bundy un-tapes Hogan's ribs, and chokes him with the tape. Bundy ties Hogan in the ropes with the tape, but he can't make it out the door, as Hogan pulls him back in. Hogan takes Bundy to the buckle and gives him a back elbow, then he rams Bundy into the cage. Bundy bleeds as Heenan covers up his forehead, and Hogan punches away. Hogan rakes Bundy's back, before ramming him into the cage two more times. He tries to slam Bundy, but Bundy falls on top of him. The door's open, but Bundy can't make it over. Hogan tries to choke him with the tape, but Bundy gives him an eye gouge. He takes Hogan to the corner, and gives him the AVALANCHE. A BIG SPLASH and another AVALANCHE follows, and now, time to HULK UP BROTHER. Powerslam, DROP THE FUCKIN' LEG, over the top of the cage and out, after knocking Bundy back down to the canvas, at 10:17. Heenan's stuck inside the cage, then Hogan comes in and tosses him into the cage. End of show, with Hogan posing.   Match Analysis: A standard cage match to be sure, but for some reason, I enjoy this even more the more often I see it. **1/4. Sloppy bladejob from Bundy takes it down a bit. ___________________   Rating: Bad. I have to change my standards for terrible. We'll make it 2 negative star matches and nothing at or over ***. If there are 3 negative star matches, we'll say nothing at or over ***1/2 gets a terrible rating. Anyway, this is probably the 3rd worst WrestleMania. I think 9 and 15 are the only ones which are worse.   Best Segment: The British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team.   Worst Segment: The "boxing" match. ___________________   RAW and Nitro from 6/16/97 will be up next.
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Review: Monday Nitro and Monday Night Raw from 6/16/97.

We're LIVE FROM CHICAGO, and the NWO is on their way to the ring. In this case, that means Dennis Rodman and HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. This being Chicago and all, the pop for Rodman's entrance is huge. They're smoking cigars, and you know why, because Rodman and Hogan are supposed to face Lex Luger and the GIANT at Bash at the Beach. The NWO really doesn't want that though, instead, they want to face them tonight. Rodman calls out "Lex Luthor," but they get no answer.   At Great American Bash last night, Ric Flair brawled with Syxx, which led to Piper losing their chance at the WCW Tag Titles. So, Flair will be here tonight to explain himself. ___________________   The opener for tonight is Glacier vs. Mortis w/James Vandenberg...   - I think Vandenberg still has Glacier's helmet. One little thing I noticed, Glacier has blue borders around the letters in his name on the display during the entrance. Seriously.   - Wrath comes down the aisle and onto the apron, but Mortis runs into him, which leads to a CRYONIC KICK. That allows Glacier to pin Mortis at 2:14. *3/4. After the bout, Wrath attacks Glacier, until Ernest Miller cleans house. What a terrible angle this is, but that said, this is generally my favorite part of the show. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Madusa, who's being forced to retire after losing to Akira Hokuto last night. Sucks for her. She's a woman of her word, and that's it. See you guys around. ___________________   Dean Malenko comes to the ring, and you know what, seeing as Eddie Guerrero interfered and cost him the US Title against Jeff Jarrett last week, he wants to face him, right now. Instead, Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out, seemingly to stick up for his uncle. And they'll have a match.   - Dean was looking around for Eddie for most of the match, btw.   - Chavo put in a good effort, but he tapped out to the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF at 3:38. **. Eddie Guerrero's at the entrance, but he just leaves without saying anything. ___________________   La Parka vs. Super Calo is next, supposedly because these two are having some problems.   - Calo does that tope con hilo which takes him into the crowd, and I'm starting to hate it. Way too dangerous.   - A flying headscissors off the top gives Calo the pinfall victory at 3:44, and after the bout, LA PARKA breaks a plastic chair over Calo's head. You know, because he's the Chairman of WCW. ** for the whole thing. ___________________   Lex Luger and the GIANT are with Mean Gene, the Giant just babbles, and they want to face the NWO tonight as well. So it'll happen. By the way, I wrote that spoiler into my notes before watching the rest of the show. Just so you know. ___________________   The next matchup on the card tonight is the Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri vs. the Amazing French Canadians w/Col. Robert Parker.   - You see, Sherri and Parker, well, they have history. Last month on WWE 24/7, their wedding was shown. They weren't able to get married, though, thanks to Madusa.   - Jacques Rougeau wants to sing the Canadian National Anthem, but really, all he wants to do is attack Harlem Heat. Last night at Great American Bash, Harlem Heat defeated the Steiners by DQ, thanks to Vincent. That win made them the #1 contenders for the tag titles.   - Booker pinned Jacques at 3:45 after an elevated Harlem Sidekick. The match was only acceptable, so I'll rate it *1/4.   Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon, who says that Harlem Heat's win last night was tainted. They don't want the NWO manipulating results, so next week, there's going to be a rematch. Vincent comes out and says that he did Harlem Heat a favor (this should've occured before the thing with Dillon, not after) at Great American Bash, so Harlem Heat kick his ass. Pseudo face turn right there. ___________________   Rey Mysterio vs. Syxx w/Scott Hall and Kevin Nash for the Cruiserweight Title is up next, and last time these two faced on Nitro, Rey was left battered and bruised in the center of the ring. That'll probably happen this time too.   - It's hour #2 of Nitro, so the pyro goes off. DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH. Only in WCW, I tell you.   - After a Rey hurricanrana off the top, the NWO runs into the ring. BUT, Rey fights them off, and knocks both men out of the ring. That was all the distraction Syxx needed, though, and he slaps on the Buzzkiller to force Rey to tap at 4:47. **1/4. After the bout, Nash JACKKNIFES Rey right on his head. Ouch.   Nash gets on the mic, and talks about Flair and Piper. Hey yo, those guys aren't icons. Here comes Randy Savage, who talks about NWO 4 LIFE and that nobody's BETTAH THAN THE MACHO MAN....OOOOOOOHH YEEAH! DDP is in the crowd to dispute that fact, saying that Savage can't do a thing by himself. He wants to face Hall and Nash, seeing as he's found a partner and all. He's not saying who, though. I'm not going to say who it is, in case anyone's curious. Just wait until we get closer to the show. Don't spoil it for yourself if you don't know. ___________________   The next match is Chris Jericho vs. the Ultimo Dragon.   - Hey, a matchup which frequently occured in WAR. Sonny Onoo tries to pay Jericho off, but Jericho pushes him to the ground.   - Unfortunately, this match is nowhere near as good as its predecessors. It wouldn't even have been good if given time. Dragon pins Jericho with a tiger suplex at 4:38, thankfully. *. ___________________   On the Road with Lee Marshall in Macon, yadayadayada...   After, Mean Gene is with Rowdy Roddy Piper. He doesn't want Rodman to steal his kilt, which elicits a few boos. He wants to talk to Ric Flair, obviously. Flair comes out and says it was the fight of his life once he made it past that curtain at the Bash..but mostly, he's sorry. ___________________   Buff Bagwell and Scott Norton are set to take on Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael, who are of course accompanied by Debra.   - Mongo was a Chicago Bear. Obviously he's beloved by this crowd. Mongo gives Jarrett a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER in mid-strut, and Buff pins Jarrett for the win. My time was messed up, but this wasn't very long. You know why Mongo tombstoned Jarrett? Well, at the Great American Bash, Jarrett accidentally hit Mongo with a briefcase, allowing Mongo to be pinned by Kevin Greene. I reviewed that match some time ago. ** for the match and turn. ___________________   HOLLYWOOD Hogan and Dennis Rodman are set to take on Lex Luger and the GIANT, but...the WCW guys haven't made their entrance. Rodman and Hogan are going to leave, until the GIANT and Luger encounter them in the aisleway. They go back to the ring, and Giant gets Rodman in the CHOKESLAM. The ring is being PELTED with trash, and Hogan stops the chokeslam. Rodman clocks the Giant with the WCW Title, and Hogan hits Luger with it. The typical NWO beatdown ensues, as does the spraypaint. I'd be lying if I said I've seen more trash thrown into a wrestling ring before. This even tops Bash at the Beach from the year previous. This ends the show, and honestly, this was the perfect time for a Sting moment. But with Rodman there, who really knows how the crowd is going to react, this being Chicago. ___________________   The show was good. Best segment was, uh, the ending. Simply because I'm not tired of the beatdowns yet, although I damn sure will be before too long. The worst was the whole Glacier/Miller vs. Wrath/Mortis stuff. This isn't good. ___________________   Now, to MONDAY NIGHT RAW, from Lake Placid, NY. ___________________   Intro to the show and all that, Bret Hart won't be there tonight, and Shawn Michaels is out 4-6 weeks because of his backstage fight with Bret. Because of this, we're going to have a tag team tournament. The winner of that is going to take on Steve Austin and a partner of his choice. Steve Austin now comes to the ring, and in mid-speech, Mankind comes on the TitanTron. He thinks that being flipped the bird shows a bond between them, but Austin says that he doesn't need a freak following him around. He didn't need Shawn Michaels shaking his ass all the time, either. Well, Mankind says that he has a nice ass, Austin says he has a fat ass, and that's the end of their conversation. We flashback to what happened last week when Austin was attacked before his match with Brian Pillman, and he's going to whip Pillman's ass when they face off later tonight. Here comes Ken Shamrock, to different music, again. He challenges Austin, and Austin accepts, saying he'll beat him after he beats Pillman.   Pillman has an interview in which he displays his dislike for the fact that his stablemates will be handcuffed to the ringposts during his match... ___________________   And now, we have the New Blackjacks taking on Owen Hart and the British Bulldog. First round of the tag tourney, I might add.   - There isn't much else to say, other than that Owen gave Bradshaw a spinning heel kick and Bradshaw was pinned for 3 by Bulldog at 3:39. *1/2. ___________________   Paul Bearer and the Undertaker are backstage, where Bearer tells us that he can do WHATEVER HE WANTS.   Ken Shamrock is backstage too, and he cuts a terrible promo. I drew nothing from it. ___________________   HHH w/Chyna is facing Phineas Godwinn now...   - Thank goodness Henry Godwinn had a messed up neck. It saved us from many terrible tag team matches featuring those two hicks.   - Chyna weakly pushed the entrance attire guy before the match. Super weak. Anyhow, toward the end of the match, Chyna gets on the apron, and Phineas kisses her. That's all the distraction HHH needed to give Godwinn the PEDIGREE for the 3 count at 3:34. 1/2*, wasn't good at all. Henry Godwinn comes down the aisle, and he argues with Phineas. He tells Vince McMahon that it's "his fault," and leaves. Vince Russo's fingerprints are all over that. ___________________   Faarooq is with D'Lo Brown, and Faarooq says that two BLACKER members will be added to the Nation tonight. ___________________   Sunny is the guest ring announcer for...Brian Christopher vs. Chris Candido. Yes, I just said that. And Paul Heyman is on commentary.   - I like the angle, but this is just weird. A USWA vs. ECW match on WWF TV?   - Jerry Lawler comes down to the ring, and pulls Candido off the top rope, getting his son DQ'd at 2:44. Lawler, Christopher and Rob Van Dam all stomp on Candido, until Tommy Dreamer makes the save. *. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson says that the Undertaker needs to do things the easy way, just like Paul Bearer said. Don't understand that. ___________________   Jim Neidhart faces Goldust w/Marlena now....   - It's weird seeing the ANVIL in a singles match. Unfortunately, this match is as bad as it sounds. The British Bulldog comes to the ring, you know, because Marlena slapped him last week. Goldust slaps the Bulldog, and pins Neidhart after a punch at 3:46. Neidhart took a ridiculous bump on a punch you could see didn't even hit. So, DUD. ___________________   After a few promos, we have Steve Austin vs. Brian Pillman. The rest of the Hart Foundation is handcuffed to the ringposts.   - Owen continuously tries to get the handcuffs off, to no avail. At least for now. Austin loves to beat on the rest during the match, and we go to a commercial.   - We're back, and Pillman's nose is broken. When Austin gives one of the two referees a STUNNER, Owen reaches into that official's pocket and grabs the keys to unlock himself. He unlocks Neidhart and Bulldog, so at 8:30 (shown), Pillman gets disqualified, as they pound on Austin. **.   Mankind, Goldust and Shamrock all run down to the ring to break things up, at least until Shamrock gives Austin a belly-to-belly suplex. They brawl, until the Legion of Doom comes out. Mankind has mysteriously disappeared, and Goldust grabs a microphone. He wants these five that are in the ring right now to be the five that take on the Hart Foundation at Canadian Stampede. And you know what, he thinks they'll kick their asses. Austin says that he doesn't need the other four, but seeing as he has to have them to take part in that match, he's going to accept. So the main event at Canadian Stampede is set. ___________________   The Hart Foundation is in the back, and they're fine with facing those five. They don't discriminate, they love to kick everyone's ass, they say. ___________________   Here comes Sable, who's the guest ring announcer for this match between Robert Fulton and Tommy Rogers.   - First reaction, WHAT THE FUCK? The Fantastics are facing each other? On WWF TV no less? It's short, but good anyway. At 2:48, Rogers pins Fulton after an UNPRETTIER. *3/4. I can't understand this. After the bout, Marc Mero comes down the aisle. You know why? Because he kinda wants Sable to go to the back. I loved this angle, and the seeds have been planted. Fortunately or unfortunately, he doesn't wrestle until September. ___________________   The Headbangers are taking on Jerry Lawler and Rob Van Dam as part of this tag team tournament...   - Heyman and Tommy Dreamer are in the crowd...you know something's gonna happen. These old clips make me miss RVD...just being honest.   - Big chants of "YOU SOLD OUT" are pointed towards RVD...and when the referee is distracted, THE SANDMAN comes down the aisle and canes Lawler in the nuts. The Headbangers pin Lawler after a cool double team move (don't know what to call it)at 4:38, and now, we brawl. There's a huge fight, at least until it's broken up. Match was *1/2. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson and the Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs. Faarooq and a mystery partner is our main event.   - You know who the mystery partner is? Well, after much delay, it's KAMA MUSTAFA. Talk about a disappointment. We go to a commercial...   - After the commercial, Kama pins Taker CLEAN with a uranage at 3:49 (shown). Yes, I just said that KAMA pinned the Undertaker clean, 1/2*. Ahmed gets in the ring after the match, and gives the Undertaker the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE. Following that...he stands with the Nation, and salutes, to much disdain. He's member #4.   End show. ___________________   The show was decent, the best segment was probably the lead up to the 10 man tag at Canadian Stampede, and the worst was Jim Neidhart vs. Goldust. Nitro was much better this week, and if not for the Stampede buildup and Ahmed turn, we'd be talking about a pretty bad show. ___________________   The RAW from before WrestleMania X8 will be up next. And then of course, WM X8 itself.
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Review: WWF Monday Night RAW from Detroit, Michigan, 3/11/02.

Yeah, RAW, from Detroit. ___________________   Gene Okerlund introduces the show, much like he has been with all the WrestleMania related programming. The first match on the card is the Dudley Boys and William Regal vs. the Hardy Boys and Rob Van Dam.   - RVD started things off with a pescado onto Regal, which was great. The dudleys go for a table during the match, but it gets kicked into D-Von's face. That's also great.   - There's a shmoz, and after multiple finishers, it ends with the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH onto William Regal, getting the pinfall at 4:01. **. Good way to start things off. ___________________   You see, there's an emergency board meeting right now. Thanks to Ric Flair, this company is in a state of emergency. Vince McMahon wants the board to choose what direction the company will head in. I always hate these board meetings. Just a big waste of time is all they are.   Kurt Angle has a microphone in the ring, and he wants to talk about crime, cause this is Detroit, and all. He says that he was robbed of a WrestleMania title shot a few weeks ago, and turns to Kane. He knows that Kane is the Big Red Machine, but he says that Kurt Angle is the Big Red White and Blue Machine. I LOL'd. He's facing Kane at WrestleMania, calls the fans stupid...which brings out Booker T. Booker T says that Kurt Angle's pissing him off, so the fans cheer. Then he says, that these people are BEYOND stupid. It's all their fault he doesn't have the Japanese shampoo endorsement, which of course, brings out Edge. Edge wants to face Booker T at WrestleMania, and then the conversation turns into how white Kurt Angle is. Kurt Angle says he has soul, and does a spinaroonie. Then they challenge Edge and a partner of his choice.   Stephanie McMahon has HHH's dog, she hates it, has a court order which says she owns it, yadayadayada ___________________   The second match on the show is Rikishi vs. Test.   - Oh no. Sounds terrible. On Heat, Test helped Mr. Perfect beat Rikishi. So we have this.   - Mr. Perfect tried to interfere, even though it was thwarted, Test still pinned Rikishi after the big boot at 1:57. 1/4*. Not good at all. ___________________   Chris Jericho hates dogs, you see. The dog shits on the floor, and Stephanie makes he and the dog leave. He ties the dog to a door handle on a limo, and leaves. I can't believe they made him into Stephanie's bitch. Oh wait, I do believe it, I just didn't like it.   DDP's trying to help Christian, but they encounter Billy and Chuck. Christian wants to face Billy tonight. He believes that he'll be able to end his losing streak. That's not a bad thing, that's A GOOD THING.   Vince McMahon shows the board of directors a clip in which Flair accidentally punched a fan and was arrested. Big whoop. ___________________   Al Snow is facing Goldust for the Hardcore Title now...   - I love Goldust's gold weapons. Funny stuff. Al Snow wins the title after a SNOWPLOW onto a trash can, at 1:03. *. ___________________   Chris Jericho jumped in the limo cause he wanted to go buy something, and the driver ran over the dog. Poor dog. HHH is pretty pissed off. ___________________   We have that little tag team match, which is Kurt Angle and Booker T vs. Edge and...THE BIG SHOW.   - Hoo-rah for mystery partners.   - Go to the end, ANGLE SLAM on Show, ANKLE LOCK on Show, and he taps out at 4:38. *1/2. ___________________   At WWF New York, Jacqueline, Torrie Wilson and Terri are there, parading around in bikinis. Yeah. ___________________   Billy w/Chuck is taking on Christian w/DDP...   - DDP goes on commentary for a bit. Nothing wrong with that, although there's defnitely something wrong with Christian's temper tantrums. I've seen enough shitty booking and ideas on this show to last a lifetime.   - As the referee was distracted, DDP snuck in and gave Christian a DIAMOND CUTTER. So, that helped Christian to break his losing streak after the pinfall at 2:08. 1/2*.   After the bout, Christian gives DDP a reverse DDT. Seeing as DDP's the European Champion, obviously Christian wants a title shot. ___________________   Back to the board of directors, Vince wants a vote of confidence in him. Whatever. ___________________   Lita and Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler and Jazz is the next match...   - On Smackdown, Jazz attacked Lita during her match with Stacy Keibler. Plus, Jazz, Lita and Trish will be facing each other at WrestleMania, so this is self-explanatory.   - There's a brawl, Trish kicks Lita on accident, and Jazz pins her at 2:24. DUD. Boy oh boy, this show sucks a fat one. ___________________   Stephanie McMahon is on her way to the ring, and she says that it wasn't her fault what happened to HHH's dog. HHH comes down, chases her and tosses her into the ring...and before the PEDIGREE, Jericho hits him in the knee with the SLEDGEHAMMER. OMG. "I think I tore my quad." During the commercial break, Jericho chopblocked HHH while he was being helped to the back. What a dastardly human being. HHH does the whole stretcher job, and we go back to the...   Board meeting. Vince gets full authority now, but they can review this decision after WrestleMania. Flair cuts a good, calm promo about how he's going to get revenge on the Undertaker, at ANY COST. ___________________   The NWO is in the back, and see, they can't wait until WrestleMania. But right now, they're going to face Steve Austin and the Rock in a handicap match.   - Personally, I cannot believe this match was on television. On television the week before a PPV, no less.   - The black and white effect during the NWO entrance is fantastic. In the late 90's-2000, any of these matchups (example...Austin/Nash, Hall/Rock) would've been big money drawing matches. I wouldn't have had Rock and Hogan interact at all during this match. Just my opinion.   - The match is ridiculously formula, and it finishes when Hogan DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG on Rock at 9:13. Austin attacked Hogan post-match, but Hall and Nash beat he and the Rock down. *1/4 for the whole thing...where's the spraypaint? End show. ___________________   Rating: Bad. Really bad. This was one of the worst RAW's I've watched in a long time. If not for the novelty of the main event, I'd have called it terrible.   Best Segment: Opening 6-man tag.   Worst: Take your pick. ___________________   WrestleMania X8 review will be up next, but there's no rush. Unless WrestleMania VIII gets posted on Tuesday, WM X8 is the only thing I have to review for a week and a half.
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