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Review: Undertaker DVD, Part 5.

Time for something easy to review.... ___________________   The first match in this part of the DVD is from Fully Loaded 1999. It's for the World Wrestling Federation Championship, and the challenger is, of course, the Undertaker. The Champion is Stone Cold Steve Austin, and the match is a First Blood, End of an Era match. If Austin loses, he can't challenge for the WWF Title again. If the Undertaker loses, Vince McMahon will have to leave the WWF "forever."   Blow-by-blow: First, this mix of the Undertaker's music kicks ass. Austin made Taker bleed earlier in the night, and Taker tells the referee not to worry about that cut. Second, Vince McMahon is a guest commentator for the bout. Austin comes out and Taker meets him in the aisle. They brawl, and Austin swings the Smokin' Skull belt at Taker, but misses. They're by the guardrails in the aisle, and Austin is covering up to protect himself from the rights and lefts that Taker is throwing. Taker knocks Austin into the crowd after a right hand, and throws the steel stairs at him. But they miss, and Austin tries to hit Taker with the steps. Taker kicks him in the gut, throws him over the rail, and rams him into the announce table. Finally they get in the ring, and Taker chokes Austin with his boot. Taker tries to rip the stitches out of Austin's head from attacks on RAW in the previous weeks, then chokes Austin, but Austin chopblocks him after a missed big boot. Austin goes for the left leg, and tells someone out there, "you got this shit." Austin kicks him in the nuts, and for some reason, the crowd's kinda dead. I've never seen this show, so I don't know why. Austin rams the left leg of Taker into the post, and on the outside afterwards, Taker knocks Austin into the crowd. They trade rights, and Taker knocks Austin back to ringside. For some reason I like this match, even though the crowd may not. Taker grabs a chair, and swings it twice, both times missing. He attempts to swing it a third time, and Austin drop-toeholds him into what's left of the steel steps. Austin chokes Taker with a television cable, during the process, he takes a mini-electrical fan and rams it into Taker's face. Taker pushes the ref back in the ring, then trips over the ref and winds up tied in the ropes. Shane McMahon runs in with a chair, and he takes a hard chairshot from Austin to put him on the outside. Austin is gonna hit Taker with the chair, but Taker gives him a big boot. Taker kicks Austin in the groin, and takes off the turnbuckle pad. Steve with a low blow, and a STONE COLD STUNNER. Vince McMahon hobbles to the ring and tries to hit Austin with a crutch because he's hurt, so he can't walk, see. Austin has a chair after he hits Vince, but Taker hits Austin in the back with it. X-PAC (WTF?) comes down to the ring and spinning heelkicks the chair into the face of Taker, and Austin grabs a television camera. Oh yeah, now I remember why X-Pac came down to the ring. He was partners with Kane, and Kane had a match with the Big Show. Who was the Undertakers partner. Anyhow, Austin hits Taker with the camera, and WE HAVE BLOOD. BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD. The ref's down, so the match isn't stopped immediately. Taker goes for the TOMBSTONE, and Earl Hebner sees that Taker's bleeding. We all go "RING THE FUCKING BELL," and the match is over at 15:38. Austin gives Vince a STUNNER, and Triple H comes out. THE ROCK comes out to attack HHH, and we brawl. Taker hits Austin with the chair, and Austin's bloody. Austin hits Taker with the crutch of McMahon's, and Shane gets punched by Taker. Finally, the brawl breaks up. Austin offers to give Vince a goodbye handshake, well, he does that, then gives him a Stunner.   Match Analysis: Wow. People complain about Russo's use of run-ins in TNA, but what I saw there, now THAT was overbooking. It was fun though, and well within the context of the match and other angles that were going on at the time. **1/4, although that may be overrating the match, I liked it. ___________________   This match is from Wrestlemania 17, and it's The Undertaker vs. Triple H. Remember, this all started because HHH said he's beaten everyone, Taker came out and said no, then HHH destroyed his bike. Yada, yada, yada.   Blow-by-blow: The dubbed music of the Undertaker actually sounds pretty good. Like that could be his real music, or something. Unusual to find good dubbed music on this channel... They brawl on the outside, which is when I start the timer, when the action starts. Taker gets the best of it, and punches HHH who flies through the makeshift Spanish Announce Table. Just a regular table, in Dudley Boyz fashion. HHH with a high knee in the ring, and Taker no-sells it. He backdrops HHH, and clotheslines him. An Undertaker powerslam gets two, but he misses his elbow drop. Taker does a flying clothesline and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but HHH armdrags him off the top. HHH with a neckbreaker that gets two, and two elbows to the head of Taker. HHH gets another neckbreaker, this time of the swinging variety, for a 2 count. HHH goes outside and grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, as he gets this sick and twisted look on his face. That's good acting. The referee steals the SLEDGEHAMMER, and Taker slingshots HHH into the referee after a Pedigree attempt is reversed. Taker chokeslams HHH for a 2 count, and because it was ONLY a two count, Taker stomps on the ref and gives him an elbowdrop. He tosses HHH over the top rope and over to the floor, and HHH rams Taker's head into the steps. Taker backdrops HHH into the crowd, and they brawl up to the technical, usually off camera area. HHH hits Taker in the back and the head with a chair, and then wallops him all over the body with it. Taker chokeslams HHH "down to the floor," and I'll be honest, when I saw WM 17 on PPV, I thought HHH was dead. But, as we see on the replay, it was a well-cushioned fall. Taker jumps off the stage thing and elbowdrops HHH, and EMT's have brought out a stretcher to wheel HHH back with. Taker shoves them sumbitches out of the way, and the two men make their way back to the ring. Taker has the SLEDGEHAMMER now, and HHH gives him a nut-shot. HHH has the SLEDGEHAMMER, but Taker with a big boot. HHH goes for the TOMBSTONE but Taker reverses, and there's no referee to make the count. Taker "revives" the official, and picks HHH up for the LAST RIDE. HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER in mid-flight, and the cover gets 2. Taker's busted wide open, and HHH goes up for the 10 punch in the corner. Unfortunately for him, Taker gets the LAST RIDE (which I think looks visually better than almost all other powerbomb variations) for the 3 count at 18:58.   Match Analysis: Fun, and the overly gimmicked chokeslam at the technical area really didn't bother me. A good, dramatic match which made me think HHH would be the one to beat Taker at Mania the first time I watched it. Cool finish too. ***1/4. ___________________   From Judgment Day 2002, this match is for the Undisputed Championship, and it's the challenger, The Undertaker vs. the Champion, Hulk Hogan.   Blow-by-blow: Hogan's ring entrance took a while, and it could give someone a seizure. The lights in front of the stage setup hurt my eyes. Taker's wearing Hogan's weightlifting belt to the ring, and once Hogan gets in, Taker smacks him with it a few times. Hogan finds a way to get the belt away, then hits Taker with it three times. Hogan clotheslines Taker as JR says, "this won't be a classic." No shit, huh. Hogan backdrops Taker and dumps him, and then he goes into HULKAMANIA BROTHER and tears his shirt off. Hogan with an eye rake, but Taker gives him a headbutt on the outside. Still on the outside, Hogan whips Taker into the steps. Hogan with some chops, but Taker gets an armbar and goes up for OLD SCHOOL. Hogan crotches him and gets a superplex (WTF?) for 2. It looked kinda funny. Taker with a chopblock, and he rams Hogan's knee into the ringpost. He wrenches the leg, but Hogan continually kicks Taker in the head to get out of it. They trade right hands, then Hogan misses the BIG BOOT AND LEGDROP, and Taker grabs Hogan's leg in a half crab. Hogan gets to the ropes and both men trade right hands. Hogan misses a clothesline, and Taker gives him the ugliest chokeslam I've ever seen. Hogan kicks out at two, and Hulks up. We all know the routine, 3 right hands, a big boot, and HE DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG, but only gets two. A Taker running DDT gets a 2 count and Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring. Taker goes and grabs a chair, but Hogan kicks it into his face. He gives Taker the LEGDROP, but the ref isn't counting thanks to Vince. Hogan punches Vince and legdrops him, but Taker hits him with the chair and chokeslams him at 12:23 to become the new Undisputed Champion. Undertaker tells Hebner to put the belt around his waist, and he goes and grabs the chair "for his motorcycle." He "Team 3D's" him, you know, cause of what they did to Shark Boy, and that's it.   Match Analysis: Not a DUD, cause I was entertained. And I thought it was better than their match at Survivor Series 1991 so...I have to give it 3/4*. It was kept short, and to the point. That was for the better. If both men had more time for this match, it would have been terrible. With a capital T. ___________________   An overall rating of the DVD will be coming soon, when I post Part 6. Since there's not much content that I haven't reviewed on 24/7 right now, I'll take my time.

Guest

Guest

 

Review: NWA Halloween Havoc 1989, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 10/28/89.

I've seen a lot of people bitching about the way this show is edited, and I'd like to say that I find all those people to be complaining about a whole lot of nothing. It's not important. As long as a show has all the matches and all the commentary, I'm fine with it. The rest is unnecessary, as although I'd like to see it, I'll live with it, and like it anyway.   ___________________   Now, for the review.   Jim Ross and Bob Caudle are the hosts from the Civic Center in Philadelphia, and they're pretty good ones too. As there aren't any entrances, the usual prematch part will be left off my review. ___________________   We start things off in the ring with Gary Michael Cappetta, and the first match is The Z Man vs. Captain Mike Rotunda. Rotunda is of course, the future Irwin R. Schyster.   Blow-by-blow: The two men lockup, and Rotunda gets an amateur style takedown of Zenk from behind. Zenk rebounds with a headlock and two shoulderblocks, afterwards, Rotunda bails to the outside. Back in, and Rotunda gets a hipblock. He then misses an elbow drop, and Zenk follows with a dropkick, so Rotunda bails again. Rotunda with a knee and a thumb to the eye, then he tosses Zenk out of the ring. JR says the ladies came up with the Z Man name. O RLY? Zenk comes in with a sunset flip for 2, and grabs onto Rotunda's arm with a hammerlock. The ropes lead to a break of the hold, and Zenk with a headlock takeover next. Rotunda with a headscissor on the mat, and he cheats using the ropes. He gets caught when he tries again, so the hold is broken. Rotunda throws Zenk out under the top rope, and slams Zenk's head into the apron. Rotunda with a kick to the back of the head of Zenk, and a suplex in for a 2 count. Rotunda with an abdominal stretch as he holds the ropes, but the referee catches him, so he goes to a chinlock. Zenk attempts a comeback, but Rotunda finishes that with a good clothesline. Rotunda misses a dropkick and Zenk gets a back elbow, but Rotunda gives him a rake to the eyes in an attempt to slow Zenk down. Rotunda attempts a springboard crossbody block, but The Z Man rolls through it for the pinfall at 13:22.   Match Analysis: It was a solid match, and although I don't believe that the crowd cared for either man, they seemed to be into it. It was missing something though, so my rating is *3/4. It was slow, I didn't mind that. But the finish kinda came out of nowhere. ___________________   Chris Cruise is with our Guest Referee for the main event, Bruno Sammartino. He talks about the Thunderdome match, and how he won't take any crap. The usual. ___________________   The next contest is a 6-Man Tag Team attraction. We have the Samoan Swat Team & The Samoan Savage w/Sir Oliver Humperdink vs. The Midnight Express (Stan Lane and Bobby Eaton version) and "Dr. Death" Steve Williams w/Jim Cornette. Yes, it's weird seeing Cornette in the same corner as Steve Williams. Anyhow...   Blow-by-blow: Lane starts off with a backdrop on the Savage, and then he clotheslines the Savage over the top rope. I'll enlighten the reader of this with some information in case they didn't know, the Samoan Savage is Tama of the Islanders. Moving on from that, the Midnight Express hit one of those fat asses with a double backelbow, and now Samu comes in after a Savage eye gouge. He misses an elbow drop on Eaton, and chops him a few times. Samu then misses an avalanche, and Steve Williams is on his way in. The crowd loves him, too. Williams with right hands and clotheslines for everyone, and all the Samoans bail out. Fatu is the Samoan that decides to get in the ring with Williams and Williams clotheslines him, and football tackles all the Samoans. Bobby Eaton comes in, and applies an armbar on Fatu, then Stan Lane comes in. Fatu with a clothesline on Lane after Lane's failed hiptoss attempt, and Samu comes in with a dropkick. Dr. Death soon follows, and Samu eats a clothesline. Williams with a legdrop, and Eaton comes in with a big flying clothesline. That gets 2. Samu attempts a monkeyflip, but Eaton elbows him. Both Lane and Fatu are tagged in, and Fatu gets a falldown slam. He misses an elbowdrop, though, and Bobby Eaton tags in, along with the Samoan Savage. Eaton gets crotched into the ringpost after an attempt at a bulldog, and then Samu and Fatu crotch him on the guardrail outside. Fatu beels Eaton HARD on the concrete, and after Eaton recovers, he sunset flips the Savage inside for a 2 count. Savage with a chop, and Fatu comes in. The SST's come in and clothesline Eaton, as he's the heat magnet du-jour. A Fatu headbutt gets two, and he goes to the nervehold. Fatu with a clothesline and then Samu comes in with a legdrop and headbutt for 2. Fatu in with a headbutt and the SST's kick Eaton in the nuts with the referee distracted, and then the Savage tags back in. A sideslam gets two, and then the Savage goes up to the top. He misses a pump splash, and the hot tag goes to Steve Williams. And the crowd just LOVES it, as Williams is a HOUSE OF DEATH. That was terrible, sorry. Williams with a double axhandle off the top, a LARIAT, and a press slam. A scoop slam and powerslam get a 2 count, and Lane comes in with a swinging neckbreaker on the Savage, and an enziguri. Cornette hits Humperdink with his tennis racked, but Lane and Cornette collide with each other, and the Samoan Savage gets the pin for his team at 18:16.   Match Analysis: See, at first, I thought this was a **1/2 match. But after thinking about it, it was a little better than that. The crowd heat is a large part of the *** rating. They were wild for Williams, and Eaton's heat sequence was really good. Really, really good. ___________________   Gordon Solie is with Terry Funk and Gary Hart backstage, and Hart says the J-Tex Corporation NEVER quits, and that Flair is going to fry when they get inside the Thunderdome tonight. ___________________   The next contest is "Wildfire" Tommy "4 Days" Rich vs. The Cuban Assassin. Wildfire is a really shitty nickname. FIDEL SIERRA!!!   Blow-by-blow: The Assassin attacks, and throws Rich into the turnbuckle. Rich slams the Assassin twice and the Cuban bails. The crowd just shits all over Rich for the duration of this match, and the match is so bad that I'm having a hard time re-writing everything again. Cuban Assassin gets a springboard crossbody for a 2 count, and Rich follows that with an "ugly as fuck" sunset flip for a 2 count of his own. Yes, the quoted is what I said aloud while watching that move take place. The crowd starts a "BORING" chant, but it doesn't get too loud. I'm thinking please take the match home while watching Rich do nothing but armdrags and punches, but I don't get what I want. Rich backdrops Assassin after the Cuban attempts a piledriver, but Assassin suplexes him. After Rich crotches the Assassin, Rich does an ugly back elbow. The Cuban tries another springboard crossbody, but this time he misses, and Rich does a Lou Thesz Press for the pinfall at 8:25.   Match Analysis: Just fastforward. It's not -*'s because I usually get enjoyment out of negative starred matches. In this case, it was completely unenjoyable. And that's my criteria for a DUD. ___________________   Gordon Solie's with the Fabolous Freebirds, unfortunately they have nothing to say, but lo and behold, they're a part of the next match. See, they're the NWA Tag Team Champions, and they're taking on the Dynamic Dudes, who're managed by Jim Cornette. The Dynamic Dudes are a mullet-clad Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace, and the Freebirds are Michael fuckin' Hayes and Jimmy Garvin, for those that don't know.   Blow-by-blow: Hayes struts at the beginning and the crowd just eats it up. The Philadelphia crowd is in love, LOVE, with The Freebirds. Hayes armdrags Douglas, and then headlocks him. Hayes with a sunset flip that Douglas reverses for a 1 count, and Hayes chops Shane. We soon see how GREEN Douglas is, as he absolutely blows a spot where Hayes comes off the ropes. It was REALLY bad. Douglas headlocks Hayes and gives him a swinging neckbreaker, and then both Garvin and Ace come in. Ace with a dropkick and armdrag, as Douglas comes back in with an armbar. Shane with a backdrop, and Hayes comes in. Shane with a wristlock reversal, and Ace comes off the top rope with an axhandle as he's tagged in. Ace with a powerslam, and the Dudes clear the ring with a double dropkick. The fans just boo the SHIT out of them, and as the Birds get settled down, Douglas reapplies the armbar. Ace with a face smash for a 2 count, and then a headlock on Garvin. Ace with a backdrop and he headscissors Hayes over as he takes Garvin over with a headlock. Ace with a headlock and then a shoulderblock on Garvin, and a roll-up of Garvin gets a 2 count. The Dudes playing to the crowd like babyfaces is beyond annoying. Not a soul is cheering for them, they're being booed. Loudly. Hayes clocks Ace in the head from the apron, and Garvin gives him a back suplex. Garvin kicks Ace in the back, and Hayes comes in with some right hands. Garvin does the same when he comes in, and backdrops Ace. Hayes back in as the crowd chants "DDT, DDT, DDT," although Hayes can't apply it. Douglas comes back in and backdrops the Freebirds, then dropkicks them a whole bunch and rams their heads into one another. A double high-knee follows by the Dudes, but Garvin reverses a double back suplex as he winds up on top for the full 3 count, at 11:27. The Freebirds retain their belts, and Philadelphia rejoices.   Match Analysis: The Freebirds really know how to work the crowd, and the heat on the Dudes was just hilarious. Really funny match, and although I'm probably overrating it, I'll give it **. It's a must-see match, if you're able to. Douglas was green as grass, but Hayes was awesome at actually being able to play to the crowd and get a pop. He didn't have to go for heel heat, and the fans just loved it. Douglas would see better days in Philly. ___________________   Rick and Scott Steiner cut a promo with Chris Cruise, and oh boy, Rick Steiner is fuckin' terrible. That's almost as bad as the Ken Patera promo I heard the other day. I'll link that at the end of this. After that, we obviously have their match. It's the Steiner Brothers vs. Doom w/Woman. Doom is masked, here, and if you don't know any better, you can't tell who's who. But I know better.   Blow-by-blow: A brawl starts things off, and the Steiners give each member of Doom a german suplex to clear the ring. Butch Reed is the skinnier one, Ron Simmons is more compact. That's how I can tell Doom apart. Rick's hair is wild here, it's a good thing he cut it. STEINERLINE's for both members of Doom as they get back in, and they'll regroup again. Ron Simmons and Scott Steiner will start, and a Steinerline gets 2. Rick has Steinerlines for both members of Doom, and he barks. That gimmick was over, even then. Rick and Butch Reed are in now, and a big right hand by Rick gets a 2 count. Butch with an inverted atomic drop and I've gotta say, if you don't already know who these two are, good luck watching. The announcers did nothing to establish them from one another, and neither did the wrestlers. One could have worn different color boots, or something. Simmons in with a headbutt, but Rick reverses his suplex attempt. Scott's in, with a Steinerline off the 2nd rope for two. Scott with an armbar, and Rick comes in with a chinlock, but Simmons counters with an ace crusher variant. A legdrop by Simmons follows, and he tags Butch. A big clothesline by Butch turns Rick inside out, and Reed drops Rick along the top rope for 2. Scott finds his way into the match (no, I don't know how), and gives Reed a front suplex for 2. Simmons is in, and Scott gives him a release german suplex. An elbowdrop by Scott gets 2, and a snapmare and chinlock follows. Doom takes control though, as Reed uses a double axhandle off the 2nd rope in order to do that. Simmons beats up Scott on the outside and slams him twice into the guardrail, and then Butch Reed gives Scott an eye gouge. Clever. A double back elbow by Doom gets two, and they practically choke Scott to death for 2 minutes. As the referee is distracted, Reed throws Scott Steiner over the top rope. The ref was distracted cause that's illegal, see. A Reed swinging neckbreaker gets two, and he follows that with a powerslam. Both members of Doom slam Scott for free, and we have a false hot tag, as Scott tags Rick with the ref distracted again. Does.Not.Count. A spike piledriver by Doom gets 2, and they go to the chinlock. Scott kicks Simmons on the irish whip, though, and Rick FINALLY gets the tag. Rick with a backdrop to Butch, STEINERLINE'S for everyone, and Scott does a FRANKENSTEINER. Rick with a powerslam and belly-to-belly as Woman gets on the apron, and she slips a foreign object into the mask of Butch Reed. Reed headbutts Rick Steiner and DOOM wins the match at 15:24.   Match Analysis: That was a fun power match. Man, Scott could go. Why the fuck did this guy have to ruin his body? The shit he was doing in there was great. ***. Doom is good too. I always thought Butch Reed was an underrated worker, and Simmons pulled his weight in this match. ___________________   Solie's with Lex Luger before his match...the promo is surprisingly good, and HE'S THE CHAMPION OF THE 90'S. LAWL.   Yeah, this match is for the United States Title, and the challenger is Flyin' Brian Pillman. The CHAMPION is The Total Package, Lex Luger. Both guys are disgustingly juiced. I think Pillman looks more gross, honestly.   Blow-by-blow: We go to THE LOCKUP, and Luger with a knee to the body of Pillman. Clubbing right hands follow, as Luger whips Pillman into the buckle. Luger slams Pillman and slaps him across the face, and then tosses Pillman out of the ring. Pillman comes back in really quick though, and football tackles Luger. He then chops Luger, backdrops, dropkicks and baseball slides into Luger. As we are now on the outside, Pillman chops Luger some more. Pillman chases Luger around the ring, but since Luger got in first, he's in control. He pummels Pillman with some right hands, but Pillman gets a springboard crossbody for a 2 count. Pillman goes to the armbar after an armdrag, and Luger whips him into the ropes where Pillman counters a Luger hipblock (impressively so, the counter) and dropkicks Luger. Back to the armdrag, but Luger regains his composure, and shoulderblocks the challenger twice. Pillman with a crucifix after another armdrag, but the crucifix only gets 2. I don't know why Pillman keeps armdragging Luger, but he does it again, and we're done with that for the rest of the match. Luger misses a charge into a corner, and Pillman goes up to the top and misses a splash. Lex follows with a HUGE flapjack, and then he drops Pillman along the top rope. Luger with a clothesline and big boot, and then he clotheslines Pillman twice, with the last one being to the back of the head. A Luger delayed vertical suplex gets two. Two elbowdrops from Luger follow, and Luger dumps Pillman to the outside. Pillman comes back in with a sunset flip for 2, and unfortunately for him, Luger gives him a inverted atomic drop. He sets Pillman up on the top rope, but Pillman pushes him up. Luger tells Pillman to come down and he does, with a sunset flip Yes, obvious spot call...and Pillman gives Luger a nice flying back elbow. He backdrops Luger and slingshots in with a clothesline. I believe the youngin's call that "Air Pillman." Luger's in the ropes though, so no pinfall. Pillman with a neckbreaker and he goes up, but he misses a missile dropkick. Luger HOTSHOTS him along the top rope, and Luger retains his title at 16:48. Yes, there wasn't a TORTURE RACK in this match.   Match Analysis: Well, you learn something new every day. One, Luger can call a match in the ring. Two, that Luger can call a GOOD match in the ring. Three, that Luger can have good matches with guys not named Ric Flair. The match got better as it went, and I've seen another reviewer give this quite a high rating. I can't go that high though, but I'll go close and give it ***3/4.   ___________________   Chris Cruise is with the Road Warriors and Paul Ellering, Hawk made sense for the duration of the interview and didn't talk about breaking limbs, or other such nonsense. Good stuff. ___________________   This contest features The Road Warriors w/Paul Ellering vs. The Skyscrapers, who are accompanied by Teddy Long. Long's carrying a big key, and a skullet of hair. Imagine that. He looks funny. The reason behind the Skyscraper name is obvious. Both Sid and Spivey are huge.   Blow-by-blow: Animal and Danny Spivey start, and Danny lets off a couple left hands. Animal with a clothesline, and Spivey bails. Hawk tags in, gives Spivey a double axhandle off the top rope, and a shoulderblock does nothing. But a flying shoulderblock does, and that forces Sid Vicious to tag in. Sid does what he wants, so after a Hawk clothesline, Sid does, well, nothing. Animal comes in and the Road Warriors deliver a double back elbow, but once Hawk leaves, Animal's shoulderblock to Sid does absolutely nothing. Nothing, I say. Sid misses a clothesline, and Animal's flying shoulderblock puts Sid down. Notice the pattern? Hawk comes in, and we have a TEST OF STRENGTH. Sid wins it, but Hawk monkeyflips him. A clothesline follows as Animal and Spivey comes in, and Animal clotheslines him, and both men tag out again. Hawk and Sid are in. Sid with a headlock takeover and a KIP-UP (!) as he clotheslines Hawk. Sid picks up Hawk in Razor's Edge position, and spins around the ring with him, soon to throw him to the canvas. Whoa. That was an impressive visual. Spivey with a sideslam for 2, and Hawk clotheslines Danny after Spivey misses a clothesline. Spivey baseball slides Hawk out of the ring, and Sid drops him along the guardrail. A Spivey delayed vertcial suplex gets a 2 count, and Sid comes in. Spivey with a clothesline in the corner before he leaves the ring, and Sid follows by choking Hawk. Hawk with a chop in an attempt to fend Sid off, but Sid comes back with a clothesline, ending those hopes. Spivey tags in and tries to suplex Hawk, but Hawk counters the move with a suplex of his own. Sid comes in and applies a front facelock, and Long distracts the referee as we have a false hot tag. Animal must go back to his corner, and Spivey gives Hawk an avalanche in the meanwhile. Hawk finally does what is necessary to get back to Animal, as he clotheslines Spivey, so Animal tags in. Yay! A dropkick by Animal and flying shoulderblock put Spivey down for a while. When Sid comes in, a pier-6 breaks out. Animal with a powerslam, and for some reason, Paul Ellering's on the apron, presumably because the ref isn't counting the fall. Teddy Long hits Ellering with the big key, and tosses the key to Spivey. I'm assuming that the key is supposed to be the key to controlling these two behemoths. But I don't know. Spivey hits both Animal and Hawk with the key, so the Road Warriors win by disqualification at 11:37. Hawk steals the key after a flying clothesline, and hits both Skyscrapers with it.   Match Analysis: There were good reasons to not have this match end cleanly. Therefore, no deduction for it. Also, this is the "good Sid." The one that's not screwing up moves, being generally disagreeable, and the one that's fun to watch. I can watch the Sid from this match all day. It's fun. **1/2. ___________________   Sting, Ole Anderson and Ric Flair are with Chris Cruise, and that means it's time for the main event. They say that under NO circumstances will Ole throw the towel in tonight, and that J-Tex Corporation is done, starting now. ___________________   The MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING is a THUNDERDOME Cage Match, and the participants are...from J-Tex Corporation, The Television Champion, The GREAT MUTA, and TERRY FUNK (the first time I wrote that, I wrote it as Terry Fuck. On accident.). Their "third" is Gary Hart. I'll explain in a bit.   And on the other team, it's STING, and THE NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, THE NATURE BOY, RIC FLAIR. Their "third" is Ole Anderson. For those that aren't accustomed to this, the caps are deliberate, and not intended to be funny in the least. It's a main event of a PPV, it's cap worthy.   The guest referee of this match is none other than BRUNO SAMMARTINO. To win this match, the opponents third must throw in the towel. Simple as that. And the cage is ELECTRIFIED!   Blow-by-blow: The Thunderdome is like a taller Hell in a Cell, but without a full roof. And some genius decided to decorate it with leaves, Tarzan-ish ropes, and vines. Only in that company, I swear. Obviously enough, the leaves catch on fire. Muta puts them out with his mist. Haha. His face is painted red, too. Flair and Funk start, and Terry shoulderblocks Flair. Flair with chops and Funk with a bodyslam afterward. Flair returns the favor with 2 slams of his own, and some chops. I don't understand why you have to tag your partner in, but whatever. Sting comes in and dumps Terry to the floor, and then slams Terry hard into the cage. Flair tags in, and he and his partner Sting deliver a double back elbow into Funk. A kneedrop from Flair follows, and the GREAT MUTA comes in. Flair chops both he and Funk, and Sting comes in with a dropkick. Funk pushes Bruno, and Bruno ignores it for now. Sting attacks Muta, and Sting press slams him too. Sting with a suplex, and Flair comes in. Flair with an inverted atomic drop and a kneedrop, and then he tags in Sting again. Sting dumps Muta and rams him into the cage, but once they're back in the ring, Muta begins to take over. An elbowdrop and legdrop follows, as Muta really knows how to work the crowd. He really does. Flair chokes Muta as Funk is choking Sting, and Funk rams Flair into the cage. Muta suplexes Sting, and we're done with tagging in. Flair with an atomic drop and Sting with a clothesline, as Sting attempts to apply the SCORPION. That's what the Scorpion Deathlock was called then. Muta kicks Sting hard in the back, and then Funk chases Sting around the ring on the outside. This match is a mess, but in a fun way. Muta chokes Flair, and once Funk chases Sting into the ring, Funk is attacked by Flair. Now they climb up the fence for no apparent reason, seemingly because the top of the cage is electrified, but even still, it makes no sense whatsoever. Sting suplexes Muta, and now Muta climbs the cage. He gets shocked (I don't know if it was real or not. I just don't.), and Muta comes down from the cage. While Funk and Flair are up there, Flair swings off a rope that's hanging down from the cage and into Terry Funk. I laughed. He's flying into Funk at a really slow speed. Sting has Muta held up in press slam position, but he just drops him instead of throwing him into the cage. Terry's on the cage and Muta's under the ring, as this match is starting to turn into a giant clusterfuck. Muta comes out from under the ring and rams Flair into the cage, and Terry and Sting climb up the cage. Flair with a back suplex and figure-four, but he releases it. At the same time, Sting grabs onto the rope and "Tarzans" into Funk. I asked my brother what to call that, and he said Tarzan. So I did. Muta kicks Flair in the back of the head, and applies the INVERTED STF. If nothing else, it's a cool visual. Why someone hasn't blatantly ripped this move off, I don't know. As the camera pans over, we notice that Funk tied Sting up. Ole unties Sting while Funk and Muta beat Flair up, and during the process, J-Tex gives him a spike piledriver. Ouch. Now Sting is untied, and he FLIES from the cage onto Funk in the ring with a body press. He jumped halfway across the cage, BAH GAWD. Ross then says that Muta's going to become "fried wonton," as Muta climbs up the cage. LOL. The un-PCness of announcers back then astounds me. Flair with a shinbreaker on Funk, as Muta is at the top of the cage. Flair with a kneedrop to Funk, and Muta decides to come down. Muta with a spinning heel kick on Sting and a backbreaker as he goes up top for his moonsault, but he gets crotched on the top rope. Flair applies the figure-four as Sting repeatedly splashes off the top rope into Funk, and Hart says he ain't throwin in the towel. Muta hits Bruno Sammartino, and Bruno knocks him out. Gary Hart gets on the apron in an attempt to break up the figure-four, and Ole Anderson hits him, so Gary Hart's towel flies onto the shoulder of Bruno. Bruno sees that, and says the match is over. Flair and Sting win the bout at 21:53.   And that's also the end of the show!   Match Analysis: Too weird. The whole cage should have been electrified, not just the top. What sense does it make to climb up there knowing you will get shocked? Aside from that, it's a perfectly fine match. Not great, but passable. **. Don't forget, Muta is still "undefeated" at this point, so they made sure that he wasn't the one to look weak. But Terry sure did. ___________________       I realized that my overall ratings are flawed, so we'll add the "excellent" category. Not that this show is excellent, but I need another category to define how good a show is. There are some really good tag teams on this show. The Skyscrapers, Steiners, Doom, Road Warriors, Samoan Swat Team, The Midnight Express...   Rating: Good. Lots of decently rated matches, and a few good ones in particular. Only one terrible match, and that's good.   Best Match: Lex Luger v. Brian Pillman   Worst Match: Tommy Rich vs. The Cuban Assassin   Loudest Sound (two guys that got the biggest pop/heat): Michael Hayes and Steve Williams   No sound: Tommy Rich and Tom Zenk. ___________________   Badd Blood will be done tomorrow, until then...   OH, I almost forgot. The Ken Patera promo   http://youtube.com/watch?v=hELEcT2aZKU

Guest

Guest

 

Review: NWA 12/28/85.

This should be good, what with the built-up matches for this show and all.   It's the usual hosts, David and Tony.   Dusty Rhodes says he's getting a haircut soon..OK. ___________________   Sam Houston is up against Tony Zane...and this is a boring squash, that ends with a Houston bulldog at 3:40. All Sam Houston squashes are boring. 1/2*. Zane needs to wear a shirt. ___________________   Tully Blanchard's out to talk about 1986 and the TV Title tournament, and I learn that Harley Race was involved. If there is a tape of this tournament, I must have it.   Jim Cornette follows with a promo about how the Midnight Express are going to beat up the Rock n Roll Express, and he rambles on like only Corny could do. Great promo. ___________________   And guess who, it's the Midnight Express vs. Mark Cooper and Josh Stroud. Bobby Eaton and Stroud start, both ME's stomp on Stroud, and Cooper comes in. Corny runs his mouth through half the match, and it's absolutely hilarious. Stroud comes back in, and gets hipblocked by Eaton, and Dennis Condrey comes in with a scoop slam. An elbow follows, and both Eaton and Cooper come in. Eaton dumps Cooper to the outside, and comes off the top rope to the concrete with an elbow to the head of Cooper. Condrey chokes Cooper, and Eaton slams him on the inside. Eaton then comes off the top rope with a kneedrop, and a Condrey lariat finishes at 3:17. Now kids, this is how you squash. *3/4. ___________________   In the next match, we have one half of the National Tag Team Champions (don't ask), Arn Anderson vs. George South. Lockup, Arn just gives this guy nothing the whole match as Arn works on the left arm, a hammerlock slam highlights that. Arn finishes things up out of nowhere with the Gourdbuster at 3:10. *. See, the difference between last week and this week, is that the squashes are short, and entertaining. No bullshit, no Barbarian 5 minute match. ___________________   Ric Flair has something to say about ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE, WHOOOOOOOOO and that NOBODY, NOBODY can beat THE WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.   WHOO. ___________________   Rocky King is facing Mac Jeffers next. WTF? These two are practically jobbers. Boring as fuck, to boot. Rocky King finishes with an ugly powerslam, after offense that consisted of another powerlam, and front face lock, at 3:58. 1/4*. ___________________   Before this match, Magnum TA has to say Ric Flair is overrated. I summarized that, btw. O RLY?   Jim Jeffers is facing Black Bart, and they both trade right hands. A Jeffers rollup gets two, and Bart replies with some forearms. A Jeffers crossbody gets two, and there's a TEST OF STRENGTH. Jeffers monkeyflips Bart, and dropkicks him. He follows with an armbar, and Bart slams him in response. Bart tries to slam him again, but Jeffers rolls him up for two. Jeffers gives Bart two dropkicks, but misses the 3rd, and Bart legdrops Jeffers for the pin at 4:40. *1/4, but Black Bart gave Jeffers WAY too much offense. ___________________   Jim Cornette's out again, and his mom sent Tony Schiavone a tie. But Jim likes it so much, he'll keep it for himself. I was able to jot that down, because his mouth was running 100 miles a minute. I couldn't get anything else. ___________________   Now, the last match of the SuperStation Championship Challenge Series, is for the US Title, and it's Magnum TA vs. Ole Anderson. Champ is bolded.   Blow-by-blow: Both lockup, and Ole applies a wristlock on Magnum. He misses an elbow, and they square off and measure each other up. Magnum with some right hands (he does this a lot, we'll call it fighting back), and Ole knees him in the stomach. Magnum's head gets pounded into the turnbuckle, and an Ole bodyslam gets a 2 count. Ole continually applies a crossface (no, not like the murderer) and it gets broken in the ropes, and he does it again, and again. A "Let's go Magnum" chant gets started, as Ole works on the left arm of Magnum. He locks Magnum's arm up, and punches and headbutts it. Magnum fights back and returns the armwork that Ole was giving him earlier. Ole with an eye gouge, but a Magnum slam gets two. Ole with a knee to the head, and Magnum's trapped in the corner. But he fights back, only to be thwarted as Ole pulls Magnum through the turnbuckle spacing, and into the steel ringpost.   commercial break   and we're back, as Ole has applied a front facelock. But ARN ANDERSON is at the ring, and DUSTY RHODES BRUDDA HARD TIMES BRUDDA is there to neutralize any added help that would be given by Arn. Magnum fights back, but Ole ends it with an elbow. Ole goes up, but Magnum hits him with his fist on the way down. A Magnum back elbow gets 2, but Ole gives him a big boot after an irish whip. Ole slams Magnum's head into the mat, but Magnum doesn't quit. Magnum with a backdrop and dropkick for 2, a Magnum small package attempt occurs, but both men are stuck in the ropes. Ole goes back to the eyes, and rams Magnum's head into the turnbuckle. Magnum returns the favor, and does the ten punch count at the turnbuckle. Magnum misses a legdrop, and both men slug it out. Double shoulderblock follows, and these two take their first rest. Magnum headbutts Ole, but it hurts Magnum more than it does Ole. Ole back to the eyes AGAIN, and he follows with a scoop slam. He stomps on Magnum, then whips Magnum into the rope, but Magnum shoulderblocks him twice. Ole then elbowdrops him for two, 2 counts. Ole tries to cheat like Ric Flair on a rollup, but the ref spots it. Magnum dropkicks him and follows with a double axehandle from the top rope for 2, but the bell rings. HOWEVER, Jim Crockett says there must be a winner! Ole leaves, and we go to a commercial break as Ole comes back to the ring. Ole with a scoop slam, and some elbow drops, but he misses the 3rd. Magnum is tripped by Arn Anderson, so Dusty comes over to take care of Arn. As that goes on, Magnum rolls up Ole for the win at around 21:00. Wow.   Match analysis: Does it get better than this, on a televised program? I don't know. I took off 1/2* for the commercial break toward the end of the match (that may not be fair to both guys, but I did it), but this ALONE makes the show worth watching. Both men went at it, and didn't let up. Great match, but it probably would have been even better with 10 more minutes. ***1/2. ___________________   Jim Crockett says that we'll have a special edition of World Championship Wrestling on Friday, February the 7th, on TBS, where the fans pick the 4 matches that will take place on the show. I hope, HOPE that WWE 24/7 shows this, but I doubt it. ___________________   The next match, is for the NWA WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, DADDY. It's the champion, NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR, vs. Ronnie Garvin.   Blow-by-blow: The two men shake hands, and they lock up. Garvin with a hiptoss and two flying headscissors, but Flair powers out. Both chop each other, and Garvin gets a shoulderblock. Flair with a hiptoss, but he misses an elbow. Garvin with a hiptoss of his own and a short armscissor, and they chop. Garvin's were harder than Flair's, so Ric bails out to the floor. Flair's "gonna kick your BUTT," so Flair chops him. Garvin with a few right hands and headbutts, then some chops and a roll-up, but it only gets a 2 count. Front facelock by Garvin, but Flair stomps on his arm. Flair with some rights and chops, and Garvin with an eye gouge to counter. A Garvin backdrop and elbow gets a 2 count, and back to the front facelock. The two wrestlers have a war of chops, but Garvin stops that with a headlock. Flair with a right to the chest, and he throws Garvin to the floor. On the floor, Flair rams Garvin's arm into the steel ringpost. Flair with some blows to the chest of Garvin, and   commercial break   we're back, with Flair choking Garvin. Flair mounts Garvin and punches him in the mouth, and chops him. Garvin with some rights, and we have our first Flair Flop. And now Flair gets whipped into the buckle, and we have a Flair Flip, as Flair goes over, and out to the floor. Garvin with somemore hard chops, and a Garvin crossbody block gets two. Flair begs off, but Garvin chops him until Flair pokes him in the eye. Now Flair takes over, as he gives him a back suplex and kneedrop for 2. Flair with some chops, then Garvin blocks his suplex attempt. Garvin gets the suplex, then a sleeper. Flair with a shinbreaker, and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL. If school consists of Garvin headbutts, chops, and a bite of the nose, you're right. Flair chops him some more, and chokes him too. Garvin gets a shoulderblock, and THEN A FIST OF FUCKING STONE TO THE MOUTH, which is followed up with a backdrop. Flair with a headlock takeover and they do the bridge, and backslide out of that spot, with Garvin doing the powering up and backslide, which gets a 2 count. Whew. Garvin hits him with another FIST OF STONE for two, and Flair crotches Garvin along the top rope when he gets up. Flair throws the referee out of the way, and DUSTY RHODES is down at the ring as the bell rings at 15:39, which I will assume is a double DQ. Dusty with the figure-four, but the Andersons attack. This looks as if it'll be a repeat of the angle with Dusty trapped in a cage, but it's not. Babyface wrestlers such as Magnum TA and Sam Houston fight off 3/4ths of the soon to become, Four Horsemen. Ole, Arn and Flair cut a promo afterward, and Flair says he beat Garvin, damnit. He looks possessed, honestly. Like Ken Shamrock, sorta.   Match analysis: Simply put, a great match. Definitely the best televised match of that year (unless there's something I'm missing, and nothing from Starrcade counts). A clean finish would only add to the rating, but as of now, this is the best Ron Garvin match I've seen. Both guys went all-out for 15 minutes, and I appreciated it. **** is the rating, I could only add 1/4* more if the finish were clean. Excellent stuff. ___________________   Italian Stallion is facing Pablo Crenshaw now, and this is a boring squash with Stallion hitting a powerslam to win at 3:10. *, I could have done without that. ___________________   JJ Dillon has a promo in which he really, REALLY foreshadows the formation of the Four Horsemen (but if you didn't know any better, just another group) and he says that HE was the one that paid for Baby Doll to go to Acapulco and leave Tully alone for a while. WELL.   Dusty Rhodes follows that with his own promo, where he destroys the desk of the announcers. He needs room, and he wants Ric Flair now. And if Flair's not going to come and get it, Rhodes is going to bring it to him. And he'll do it now. ___________________   Tully Blanchard vs. Kent Glover is next, and Tully works on the right leg, with a spinning toe hold. David Crockett says there's trouble in the back, so he bails on the broadcast. Back to the spinning toe hold, and a Tully slingshot suplex finishes at 2:12. 3/4*. I'm starting to get used to seeing these jobbers every week, and I'm going to be picking favorites soon. ___________________   That's all.   As for the show...   Rating: Great. Whenever you get two, long, GOOD TV matches such as the two that took place on this show, it's a good TV show. That's the best wrestling TV show I've seen from the 80's, hands down. The two matches in the middle are worth tracking down, if you don't have WWE 24/7.   Best match: Ric Flair vs. Ronnie Garvin. Lots of brawling, but it was great.   Worst match: Sam Houston vs. Tony Zane. A boring squash. ___________________   And that's it, the next thing I post will probably be a review of Halloween Havoc '89, and that'll come on Sunday unless my brother's girlfriend doesn't come over.

Guest

Guest

 

Review: WCW Monday Nitro, 3/31/97, from Roanoke, Virginia.

The NWO have arrived.... ___________________   Anyway, the first match is Lex Luger and The Giant vs. Roadblock and Rick Fuller. Giant chops Fuller HARD early on in the corner, clotheslines him, then tags in Luger. Luger goes up to the 2nd rope, and comes down hard with a double axehandle. Fuller pokes Luger in the eye, and tags in Roadblock. Roadblock with a big avalanche, and some other shitty oldschool offense. Roadblock misses an elbow drop from the 2nd rope, and The Giant is on his way in. Superkick by the Giant (wtf) and then Giant clotheslines both of his opponents. The CHOKESLAM and POWER RACK, OMG finish at 5:00. After the match, Harlem Heat run in and attack Luger and the Giant. There's a 4 way match at Spring Stampede, see. *1/4. Harlem Heat then have an interview, they're the Patriots cause they get no respect, and Sherri says they will divide and conquer on Sunday. Whatever. ___________________   Now there's a women's match that I'm not rating, because the incompetent commentary team didn't tell me who they were. Not only that, I don't rate women's squash matches. A regular match is different. This is part of a "Ladies Cruiserweight Title" tournament, and I can only assume this angle was dropped, because the crowd just doesn't care. ___________________   Villano IV vs. Psychosis is the next match...and both wrestlers do a lucha sequence where they armdrag each other and kip-up. To the chinlock we go, until Villano decides he wants to rana Psychosis. Psychosis with a spinning heel kick to knock Villano to the floor, and he follows that by going up to the top and getting a HUGE corkscrew moonsault, landing on Villano IV, on the floor. Backstage, the NWO is having some problems. Hogan, Hall, Bischoff, DiBiase, and Vincent are at Dennis Rodman's movie premiere. VK Wallstreet is the one with problems...back to the ring, and Villano gives Psychosis a fisherman belly-to-belly suplex. Strange move. He misses a moonsault, and a Psychosis superkick and guillotine legdrop finish at 4:25. *3/4, could have been better. ___________________   RIC FUCKIN' FLAIR is on his way to the ring, for an interview with Mean Gene, and Roddy Piper eventually joins them. Flair wants to go party with Piper, and Piper says ok. Then they leave. That.was.pointless. ___________________   Prince Iaukea vs. LA PARKA is the next match, and it's for Prince's TV Title. La Parka misses a charge toward the turnbuckle, but he comes back with a spinning heel kick. Both guys REALLY blow a springboard moonsault spot, and La Parka could have really hurt Iaukea there. Prince charged in toward the turnbuckle and nearly was met with a flying knee to the top of the head. Idiot. It was his fault, IMO. Anyway, a La Parka senton bomb (senton is no flip, remember) gets a 2 count. A double jump moonsault by La Parka gets the same. Somehow both guys wind up on the outside, and Prince springboards off the ropes with a body press. La Parka has his chair, cause he's chairman of WCW. He sits Prince down in the chair, and does a suicide dive onto him. Prince superkicks La Parka back on the inside, but misses a crossbody. La Parka kicks the chair onto Prince, and then he does some Sabu thing where he uses the chair to springboard and jump into Prince. A Prince crossbody off the top rope out of nowhere gets the pin at around 5:05. Way too many blown spots. 3/4*. ___________________   The next match is Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Jericho, and prior to the match, Regal has some words for the people out there. Rey Mysterio's a dwarf, and Rey will get the first shot at the TV Title if Regal wins it at Spring Stampede. The crowd chants USA, which makes me laugh for obvious reasons, and Regal begins the bout with some mat wrestling, and a drop toe hold. Jericho clotheslines him, and gives him a spinning heel kick. A springboard dropkick and suplex follows from Jericho, and he's in control. A lionsault from Jericho gets a two count, and Regal gives him a stiff kick to the midsection. Jericho then rolls up Regal at 2:27 for THE WIN! I'm very surprised. *. Regal attacks Jericho post match, he gives him a huge halfnelson suplex off the top turnbuckle. whoa. A piledriver and the Regal Stretch follows, and the Renegade and Joe Gomez come out to help Jericho, but Renegade doesn't want to. What the hell? Gomez gets piledriven, and Lenny Lane and Billy Kidman come out and try to help. But they can't. The beatdown was fun... ___________________   This is hour two...and we find out that VK Wallstreet is leaving...and there's another women's match I'm not reviewing or rating. Akira Hokuto is in this one, and post-match, Hokuto attacks Madusa. Following that, there's a video package highlighting the past of Sting. And this package shows how far behind WCW is compared to WWE in this sense. ___________________   The next match is the Amazing French Canadians w/Col. Robert Parker vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael w/Debra. OH CANADA, OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND. Sorry. This match really, really sucks. Mongo chopblocks the AFC's, and Public Enemy hits the ring. They try to take the Haliburton briefcase, but Robert Parker winds up with it, and he tosses it in to Jacques Rougeau, who hits Mongo with it for the win at 3:00. Just, no. DUD. Mean Gene comes to the ring, and Mongo wants to know why Jeff has the briefcase. He thinks Jeff was the one that hit him with it. ___________________   DDP is facing off against a guy my brother said was named Lance Ringo..and it ends quick with a DIAMOND CUTTER out of a firemans carry position. It kinda looked like an F-5. 1:43 is the time, and 1/2* is the rating. Randy Savage is in the crowd with a mic, and he says he finally found out what DDP's name was. But he's still wonderin' if DDP has family jewels. Oh, you. ___________________   The last match is The Steiner Brothers vs. High Voltage. I love the Steiners music. STEINERLINE! It's so overly corny. Scott starts with a pumphandle slam, and Rick comes in with a STEINERLINE. RUFF, RUFF, RUFF (just doin' the Rick thing). Rick with a release German suplex, and Rage rams Rick's head into the ringpost. Rick has a problem with his head, see, so he's hurt. A Kaos neckbreaker follows, and Rage comes in and misses a springboard rolling senton. He almost jumped all the way out of the ring, lol. Scott's in, an overhead belly-to-belly, press slam and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER finishes at 3:30. I love that move, so the match gets * as a result. ___________________   The NWO invade the broadcast table now, and Nash will fight WCW by himself if the other NWO members don't want to show up.   End of show ___________________   That sucked. Sucked dick. From now on, I'm not going to give Nitro a full review unless there's something important, like a title change, or important match or angle. There was literally nothing here except for some matches. NOTHING. It's a waste of my time to type all this up unless there's something worth doing so, for. Here's what it'll look like next time if nothing good happens.   Steiners vs. High Voltage: *, good Steiner Scredriver in there led to a Steiners win   DDP vs. Lance Ringo: 1/2*, inventive Diamond Cutter...   ___________________   Yeah, like that. Hopefully, I don't have to, because I want to be entertained and given something worth watching.   Rating: Bad.   Best match: Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Jericho: the one time on the show something good happened.   Worst match: Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael vs. The Amazing French Canadians.   Until next time...

Guest

Guest

 

Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 3/31/97, from Peoria, Illinois.

We all know which episode this is, and I'm looking forward to it...   ___________________     We start things off with a European Title match, and it's the challenger, Owen Hart, facing off against the champion, The British Bulldog.   Prematch: Owen always has his Slammy's, of course. This match came about because of the two participants pull-apart last week on RAW.   Blow-by-blow: Once Bulldog gets near the ring, Owen baseball slides into him. Owen beats Bulldog up on the outside, and claims that the European Title is HIS BELT. Owen tosses Bulldog in, then hits him with a springboard crossbody for a 2 count. Owen then hits Bulldog with a low blow and some mounted punches, and he follows that with a whip into the turnbuckle and clothesline for a 2 count. Chinlock time, and when Bulldog powers out, he gets kneed in the midsection off a whip. Owen goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but that's not happenin'. Back to the Owen chinlock, but a Bulldog rollup gets a 2 count. Then a Bulldog backslide gets two, and Owen ends Davey's run with a standing dropkick and piledriver. Now we go to a   commercial break   and as we come back, we see that Owen landed an elbow drop from the top rope during the break, and nearly won the match and title. An Owen suplex gets a 2 count, and back to the chinlock again. Up to the top, but Owen misses a dropkick. BULLDOG goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Owen delivers an enziguri to the back of the head. The match is really starting to pick up. Owen backflips off the top after Bulldog fights off a superplex attempt, and Owen knocks Bulldog out of the ring. On the floor, Bulldog catches Owen after Owen attempts to deliver a plancha. Bulldog slams him into the guardrail, and clotheslines him twice. Then, Bulldog slingshots Owen into the turnbuckle and gets a 2 count on the cover. A really bad blown backdrop by Bulldog nearly ends up with Owen landing on his head, but they repeat the spot, then Owen gets dumped. Bulldog suplex Owen on the steel entranceway ramp, and back in the ring, press slams Owen for a 2 count. Ref bump after an Owen leapfrog over a charging Bulldog, and that's the last we see of him. Owen goes out to grab a chair, but Bret Hart comes down the aisle, to keep him from using it. Bret grabs a microphone, and he wants to know where their family values have gone. Bret tells them they're doing what "these Americans" want them to do. He also says that the US loves to turn families against each other. And they group hug, as the Hart Foundation forms. How sweet. Match ran about 13 minutes...   Match analysis: Well, the match was solid, but that wasn't the point. IT's all about the angle, brudda. And you know what, it worked well. The whole segment is a **** segment. The match is **3/4, and the 1/4 is subtracted because of the blown backdrop that could have killed Owen. ___________________   Sunny comes down to the ring for guest commentary...and it's for a match between El Mosco and Super Nova.   The match is sorta drab, but Sunny's commentary where she generally acts like a whore is funny. I like how she calls JR fat, using Spanish. Nothing really to see here, a blown spot or two, and Mosco finishes with a springboard moonsault at 3:53. *1/4. Spare me. To be honest, almost every AAA match that the WWF imported sucked. ___________________   LOD has an interview in the ring where they tell the Harts they shouldn't disrespect the USA. But, the interview was so bad that I couldn't wait for them to finish. It's about their title match against Owen and Bulldog at IYH: Revenge of the Taker. ___________________   Wow. It's Jesse Jammes vs. an unnamed Jobber. His name is Jerry Fox, apparently.   Jesse's singing, and it, along with his theme and ring attire, are awful. AWFUL. That's gotta be embarrasing to do that, and he looks nothing like the man he would soon become. It's a squash, Jammes atomic drops Fox, clotheslines him from the ring apron, and finishes with the Pumphandle Slam at 1:37. 1/4*. Honky likes him and gives Jesse the guitar, but Jesse destroys it. He says the guitar is "out of tune." Keep that shit off my television. ___________________   The NATION OF DOMINATION comes out, and it's Savio Vega and Crush vs. two unnamed jobbers. And this time, I'm not looking it up. When they disposed of squashes on RAW, the world reaped the benefits. Shawn's on the phone to speak his mind, as Crush gives one of the guys a double backbreaker, and then he tosses him over his head. Big back suplex by Crush, then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker follows. And we finish with Demolition Decapitation at 3:16. 1/2*. Waste of time. ___________________   A Ken Shamrock vignette follows, as he has an exhibition next week against an unnamed opponent. ___________________   And it's hour TWO. Paul Bearer has something to say, and his entrance music is African-ish. He wants The Undertaker to take him back. Well, The Undertaker comes out to the ring, and locks the casket set-up at ringside to make sure there's no surprises. Taker says he may be able to forgive Paul, but he'll never be able to forget. He hands Paul Bearer the WWF Title, but then punches Paul's lights out. Taker grabs the urn off the casket, but Mankind comes out from under the ring and lights a fireball near Taker's eye. TAKER CAN'T SEE BAH GAWD, and SID comes out to chase Mankind backstage. My initial reaction to that was, WTF?   Back from a commercial break, and Sid tells Mankind that he's going to burn in hell. OK. ___________________   Now, there are no managers allowed, for the Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust match.   Prematch: No usual Goldust entrance, he only has his wig on. He runs to the ring, and here we go.   Blow-by-blow: Goldust pounds on HHH (fuck Helmsley, it's HHH), HHH does his upside down thing after getting whipped into the buckle, and then he does that Harley race thing where he flies out of the ring after being whipped into the buckle. He perfected it later on when he did it so his face would always hit the guardrail. Back in, and Goldust bumps into HHH with his ass. He misses a crossbody, so HHH takes over for a while. H slams him on the ramp, then goes inside the ring and does that gay courtsey thing. When both men are back in, HHH hits Goldy with a high knee. He chokes Goldust with his boot, and gives him a swinging neckbreaker for a 2 count. A suplex and kneedrop get another 2 count. To the chinlock, until a Goldust crossbody gets a 2 count. This match is pretty slow. A HHH DDT gets a 2 count, and they trade rights until Goldust is dumped by HHH. Chyna's at the stage, and at the same time that we notice him, uh.....er, her, HHH dives to the outside off the 2nd turnbuckle.   commercial break   and we come back with news that Sid will be facing Mankind next week. Does not happen. Anyway, Chyna makes her way to the ring, as Goldust gives HHH the Curtain Call. She beats up some officials, and HHH starts fighting with Pat Patterson. Patterson's giving it to him, and then Chyna beats him up. Goldust and Chyna stare off, and that's it for that. 9:51 is the time, of the cut match.   Match analysis: A decent match, but this feud dragged on way too long. At this point, they'd been feuding for the whole year. Could have been better, cause this was slow. *1/2. I really like Goldust, and I like some of the work that HHH did later on. ___________________   Stone Cold Steve Austin comes to the ring, and Vince is in the squared circle conducting the interview. He calls Ken Shamrock deaf, says that Bret Hart couldn't do a damn thing to him, and that Bret's a piece of trash. Steve's not changin' for anyone, and all he wants to do is whip some ass. Bret comes out on the Titantron, and he says he already beat Stone Cold's ass, and Bret says he's done with Steve Austin. Steve calls Bret a piece of crap, and Bret storms off. ___________________ In the main event, we have an INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE bout, the challenger is Bret "The Hitman" Hart, and the champion is Rocky Miavia.   Prematch: An announcement is made before this match that Bret Hart will be facing Sid at Revenge of the Taker. Again, no. Does not happen. This is the low point of the Intercontinental Title, IMO. Rocky is not over, and this match has absolutely no heat.   Blow-by-blow: The two wrestlers lock up, and Bret takes Rocky over with a headlock. Tony Atlas is in the crowd, hey guy! Bret grabs Rocky's arm and works it over, then a Rocky crossbody gets a 2 count. Both men kip-up after headlock takeovers, and Bret delivers a knee to the midsection of Rocky. Boot to the midsection by Bret, and he rakes Rocky's eyes across the ropes. An inverted atomic drop and clothesline follow, and then we have a Bret Hart russian legsweep. Now we go to a   commercial break   and we come back to an image of Bret headbutting Rocky in the back. Then in the head. Bret with a backbreaker after a back suplex, but he misses his usual 2nd rope elbow. Rocky with a few right hands, and a fisherman's suplex of his gets two. Whoa. Where did that move come from, and why didn't he use it later in his career. A belly-to-belly suplex by Rocky gets two, and his swinging DDT puts Bret out long enough for Rocky to climb up to the top rope. Bret rolls through his flying body press and gets two, and Bret then applies the ringpost figure-four. Unfortunately, he gets disqualified. So Rocky wins the match, and retains his title, at 10:31. Bret won't let go, so Austin comes down to MAKE him let go. Too bad for him though, Owen Hart and the British Bulldog attack him, but the Legion of Doom chase the Hart Foundation into the crowd. End of that, and the end of the show.   Match analysis:Good, old school wrestling match. But even I can't deny that the match was hurt by the lack of heat. I liked it, though. I don't know how much of it was a carryjob, it was really good from all sides. Also a nice way to end the show, too. **1/2 for the match, even though I feel like going a little higher.   ___________________   As for a show rating, on this (Great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible) scale, it's a GOOD show. Almost great, but it dragged. Any TV show with two 10 minute long, almost *** matches is good, IMO.   Rating: Good   Best Match: Owen v. Bulldog   Worst Match: Jesse Jammes vs. Jerry Fox   ___________________   To note, star ratings aren't everything when it comes to Worst and Best matches on a TV show. Other things come into factor.   'Til next time...

Guest

Guest

 

Review: Undertaker DVD, Part 4.

Now, the DVD set moves into the heart of the Attitude Era. I don't mind that, as it's a time period I enjoy. Most people say that a person's favorite wrestling period is the one they grew up on. I don't necessarily disagree, even though late-80's NWA is my favorite, this is right behind. I don't give a damn how many people look back and think it sucks. If you disagree, comment and we can discuss it.   And since the Kings won, I'm doing this tonight. Otherwise, I wouldn't work on it until tomorrow.   ___________________   From IYH: Unforgiven in 1998, we have The Undertaker v. Kane w/Paul Bearer in an Inferno Match.   Prematch: This is the end of the UT/Kane feud until they come full-circle with partners they each don't trust, and then they decide to team up themselves. Rinse and repeat about 10 times, and you have Kane's career. The inferno visuals are cool, they kept the flame low so everyone could see.   Blow-by-blow: They trade punches (and I had the feeling I'd be saying that a lot...), until UT avalanches Kane in the corner. Kane's in this phase where he sells nothing, from nobody, so that's what he does. It's even worse than when Taker does it. UT goes up for OLD SCHOOL and the fire blaze gets really high, almost to the knee of UT as he's standing on the ropes. Kane just drops him on the turnbuckle, and hits him with some rights. Whip hard to buckle, rinse and repeat 3 or 4 times. Kane powerslams UT and they both try to smother each other, until Bearer tosses a chair into the ring. Kane hits UT with the chair, and then the camera pans to Bearer wiping the sweat off his face. Yeah, I'm sure those flames are hot. Kane pushes UT toward the flame AND BAH GAWD HE'S GONNA PUT HIS ASS ON FIRE, but Taker finds his way away from it. Taker gives him a russian leg sweep and a legdrop. CHOKESLAM, CHOKESLAM STRAIGHT TO HELL by Kane, so logically, Taker must return the favor. Then, both guys give each other a big boot. It looked weird. Undertaker misses his running, flying clothesline, and he almost flies too far and into the flames. That was close. Kane sideslams Taker and goes up to the top rope, but UT crotches him on the turnbuckle, then superplexes him. Kane gets tossed out over the top rope, but the flames don't get him. OK. What's the point of the match then. As Kane walks towards the back, Vader makes his first televised appearance since No Way Out of Texas, and gives Kane a piece of his mind. The two wrestlers get a little closer to the ring, and UT FLIES over the top rope with a tope, knocking both men down. Taker chases Bearer onto a stage set-up on the side, and puts a drum through Bearer's head after Bearer gives him a WEAK ASS chairshot. Bearer does a blade-job, and back at the ring, Undertaker knocks Kane into the fire after Kane CLEARLY put on a flame-retardant sleeve or something, and that's it. HE'S ON FIRE, OH MAH GAWD. The bell rings at 16:01.   Match analysis: It was weird. Really weird. Not negative star worthy or anything, but the booking was bizarre. The guys never should have left the ring, but then again, Kane would never have been able to put on the flame-retardant sleeve. It's not BAD though, like one would expect. The gimmick (and other reviews out there) tends to have people thinking the match is dogshit. *.   ___________________   From King of the Ring 1998, it's Mankind vs. The Undertaker, in Hell in a Cell.   Prematch: We all know what happens here. UT limps out and climbs the cell. Nothing else sticks out except for the sheer number of lighters while the lights are turned out. Goodness.   Blow-by-blow: Undertaker goes up the Cell, takes a few chairshots and throws Mick off the Cell. The bump still holds up to this day, and it will hold up forever. Two shittier workers, and nobody would have given a fuck. But because it was these two guys, because the Undertaker character was going in a darker direction, and because Mick Foley was supposed to be a sick sonofabitch, it worked. Moving on from that, I like seeing Hugo Savinovich of the Spanish announce team sprawled out after the giant throw off the Cell. It always makes me laugh. Terry Funk, Sgt. Slaughter and Vince McMahon make their way out, he does a stretcher job, BUT HE AIN'T DONE, BAH GAWD, HE'S CRAZY, HE'S SICK!   Stop here. Nothing tops this. I would have loved to seen Mick return the favor, and that would have been the perfect way to end the match, IMO.   They both re-climb the Cell, and Undertaker headbutts Mick. That's a strange thing to see Taker do. Then Taker chokeslams Mick through the Cell. This bump is more impressive than the first, I think. Once UT struggles to get through the hole in the Cell, he chokeslams Terry Funk out of his shoes. Legit LOL there, from both my brother, my father and I. Like I said, I don't watch these alone. This channel brings back good, old memories. Taker punches Mick, and Mick falls down in a heap. It's almost funny, in a sick way. Then the infamous clip of Foley's tooth in his nose follows, and he SAYS that he was trying to stick his tongue through a hole in his lip, but his beard kept everyone from seeing it. For some reason, I'm not so sure about that one. Taker goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but Mick knocks him off. Taker grabs the stairs because Mick can't hold them, so they improvise and Taker launches the stairs into Mick's injured shoulder. Geez, dude. Watch out. Taker then flies into the cell, and you can see the guy scraping his blade up toward his face, trying to get his face to cut. Business exposure, kids. Learn to love it, learn to live with it, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, AND SO ARE THE FOUR HORSEMEN. Sorry. Back in the ring...Mick piledrives Taker onto a chair for two. I'm calling him Mick because his mask is gone, see. A legdrop onto Taker as a chair is draped over Taker's face gets 2, then Mick gives him an ugly looking double arm DDT. He goes under the ring...and we have TACKS. OH MY GAWD, TACKS, TACKS, HE'S SICK...but Mick gives UT FINGERS IN THE MOUTH a MANDIBLE CLAW instead. UT lifts Mick on his back, and then drops him onto a small portion of the TACKS. But Mick ROLLS IN THEM. A chokeslam on the tacks gets most of them stuck to Mick's back, and then Mick gets TOMBSTONE'D for the finish at 17:38.   Match analysis:   1. Both bumps off the top of the Cell were nuts.   2. Most people deride the match because they think all it was, was two big bumps and some thumbtacks.   No.   Fuck those people. The match told a story. A story about two sick motherfuckers that would do anything to win. The only thing that irks me, is that they weren't trying to win anything in particular. Except for pride. And with the history of these two, that's all it takes. I'm stuck in the middle about how I really feel about this match. I've watched it about 10 times including the live airing, I have it on DVD, and my opinion still hasn't changed. So my rating shall be in the middle, as well. **1/2. It isn't the best one of these matches, but it's memorable, and with damn good reason.   ___________________   From King of the Ring 1999, it's a World Wrestling Federation Championship match, with the challenger being The Rock, and the Champion being The Undertaker. Undertaker is accompanied by Paul Bearer...   Prematch: Undertaker is just sick at this point, I'll leave it at that. Yes, this is the PPV where Billy Gunn wins the King of the Ring. No, I haven't seen the whole PPV, or this match. I made a point not to order any WWF PPV's post WM XV until Royal Rumble 2000, and I haven't seen a single one in between, although I watched RAW all the time. My parents felt that ripped off by WM XV, and I didn't disagree. Instead, we ordered WCW PPV's.   Yeah.   Blow-by-blow: Ref bump quick and early before anything starts, and if history is any indication, it should be good. Remember Ground Zero 1997? Unfortunately, when Vince Russo's booking, both logic and history is thrown in the garbage. This match was 3rd from last at this PPV, Billy Gunn's KotR win and a shitty Austin ladder match followed. Anyway, ROCK BOTTOM, HE JUST HIT ROCK BOTTOM, but there's no ref. The new one gets to the ring, and Bearer pulls him out while he was making the count. Fuck. Overbooking at the start? I'm used to that at the finish. Bearer punches the new ref to the ground, and a UT chokeslam gets 2. This match is going in reverse. Rocky clotheslines Taker to gain control, and does his spit punch to finish the combination. This guy was, and is, GOLD. He throws UT out of the ring, and now we brawl. They beat each other up near the stage, and on the way back toward the ring, Taker suplexes Rocky in the entranceway. Back in, and an Undertaker cover gets a 1 count. Armwringer and OLD SCHOOL follows, but nope, Taker's nuts must suffer after being crotched along the top rope. Rocky has a water bottle, and he takes a swig and spits it out at Taker. He's still getting the catchphrases down, and stuff. Into the crowd we go, and Rocky pours beer on Taker. Back near the announce table after some shitty brawling, and Rocky rams the face of Taker into the ringbell. Taker grabs the bell, and Rocky has a chair, and the weapons meet. Who the fuck came up with that idea. The visual is terrible, and accomplishes nothing other than that hitting a bell with a chair hurt Rocky. Bearer then hits Rocky with his shoe. Uh. Lots of Taker punches, and his running DDT gets 2. To the chinlock we go, then Rocky powers out and gives Taker a samoan drop for 2. Double clothesline follows, and Rocky's up first. A Taker TOMBSTONE attempt leads to a Rocky counter, as Rocky DDT's him. Ref bump after a whip and collision, and we HAVE THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW. THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW PAD COMES OFF, AND HE DROPS THE FUCKING ELBOW for no count, as there isn't a ref to do so. Taker gives Rock a nutshot, and Bearer has a rag. He soaks it with ETHER. AND BAH GAWD, IT SMELLS LIKE ETHER. This shit is so fucking stupid, I remember when Taker was going to embalm Steve Austin alive and that sort of booking really reminds me of it. Maybe because it's done by the same guy, I dunno. Well, actually, I do. Rocky steals the rag after a clothesline, and smothers Undertaker with it. But Triple H HAS to come to the ring, and he HAS to PEDIGREE Rocky, and JR has to call him a lousy, no good son of a bitch, and we have to have a run-in, and just fuck it I want this to be over. Taker somehow gets his finger on Rocky as both are out, but Rocky kicks out at 2. Taker gets up first, and TOMBSTONE'S Rocky for the win at 19:47. HHH came out because he's in the Corporate Ministry, ya know?   Match analysis: It's a really shitty, really overbooked title match. My initial rating while watching it was *1/2, but after thinking about it, there's really no way I can go that high. The brawling sucked. The booking sucked. The promos before this match on RAW sucked (yes, I do remember. Learning tree yourself, bitch.). Just the overall writing of the company sucked, but damn, I look on it fondly. The match is 1/2*, and I can't possibly watch it again. If you can't book a 20 minute straight wrestling match ONCE in your ENTIRE fucking life, chances are you're on the wrong business. And you show me a match that Russo booked all by himself that went more than 20 minutes, without run-ins, ref bumps, ether soaked rags, human torches, graveyards, celebrity world champions, a tazer, a heel turn, a "shoot", "blood" coming out of the ceiling, partners that hate each other, tits and ass, or any other shitty gimmick out there...   and I'll show you Michael Jordan. Seriously, if anyone can find a straight, non-gimmicked, Russo booked wrestling match with none of the things I mentioned, I'll review it. I don't think such a thing exists. To be truthful, in this case, Undertaker carried the match. I'm not shittin'. I don't know if this match, with this booking, could have been any better.   ___________________   And that's it. I don't know what I'll do next, but I'll have something done tomorrow. I sure would like to see some comments after some of the statements I've made...   This part of the DVD is worth a watch, if you haven't seen the Inferno match. But if you want to watch it until the end, please take caution. And try to laugh, as often as possible.

Guest

Guest

 

Review: ECW...?/?/??, from the ECW Arena.

The date on the program description is wrong. You can't have a show air on 1/4 when the footage was shot on 1/5, obviously. I'll do the logical thing and say this is a 1/11/96 review, not that I'll title it as such.   To start with, before the entire program, WWE put in a video package of The Pitbulls.   I don't review the Tazz/Styles portions of the show where they talk about the past, so we skip ahead to the program.   ___________________   Flashback to "last week", as we have Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie in the back cutting a promo and all of a sudden, THE FUCKING FRANCHISE SHANE DOUGLAS makes his re-debut, as he wonders what the hell happened to ECW...   I believe that would apply to the present as well. ___________________   Now, to the "present," and Joey Styles is in the ring, as he usually is, to introduce the show, of course. Bill freaking Alfonso comes out to the ring, blowing his whistle and screaming about Taz not getting any respect. I love Alfonso's whistle gimmick. Taz then confronts Joey and says he's sick of this shit. He wants to beat Joey's ass. 911 and Tod Gordon come out, Tod attacks Joey and the refs get in-between 911 and Taz. Thank God, I don't want to see that shitty match. Some wrestlers come out to help the officials, as the fans chant "Let them go."   I say, "How about no." They separate, but El Puerto Ricano is in the ring, wearing a shirt that says, "Fonzie Must Die." Well then, Taz sees the shirt, and Tazplexes the guy RIGHT ON HIS HEAD. 911 hits the ring again as a result, but the Eliminators come out and Totally Eliminate him, dude. Jason's with them and he's full of laughs, until Rey Mysterio hits the ring, that is. What the fuck happened to THIS Rey Mysterio, he's all over the place, flying and taking out Kronus and Saturn. I guess we have a tag match, with The Eliminators against Rey and 911. Never once was anything mentioned about a match, until about a minute into their fight. So I don't have a time. Taz comes back to the ring and chokes 911 out with his towel, and I've gotta say, make up your fucking mind. Go to the ring and stay there, or go to the back and stay there. Rey and Saturn are brawling on the outside, and afterward, Kronus gives Rey a bodyslam in the ring. A standing moonsault gets 2 for Kronus. 911 suplexes Saturn in the ring, and at the same time, Kronus gives Rey a powerbomb. Total Elimination on 911 and Taz is back to choke 911 some more. Perry Saturn powerbombs Rey, then the Eliminators whip Rey into the ropes, but get double DDT'd for their trouble. 911 finds his way back to the ring, and Rey goes onto his shoulders for a chickenfight. Saturn goes up for the Eliminators, and Rey jumps to the other side and rana's Saturn off for the pinfall. I liked that spot.   After the match, Rey is Totally Eliminated, and the Pitbulls hit the ring. They look pissed. Francine attacks Jason, but she is also Totally Eliminated. That's the end of that until Jason hits one of the Pitbulls with a steel chair, and they bail soon afterward. Damage Control are out, and Francine does a stretcher job. Totally overbooked trash. Entertaining overbooked trash, that is. **. I can only take so much of that, though. Also, that's 911's last match in ECW for a while, and he only made a one show appearance a few years later. End of a chokeslamming era.   ___________________   ECW then cuts to Styles, as he introduces a segment where Jimmy Del Ray accepts Mr. Hughes as his bodyguard, after him being offered Mr. Hughes by Damien Caine. Whatever.   The match is Buh Buh Ray Dudley w/the rest of the Dudleys vs. "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray w/Curtis Hughes.   Buh Buh can't say his name, as I'm sure most of us know. Del Ray dropkicks him as he's trying to stammer it out, and we're underway. Buh Buh dumps Jimmy, and begins to dance. Very entertaining, even though the wrestling on these shows really lacks. Clipjob, and we come back with a Dudley avalanche for a 2 count. Swinging DDT from the top by Del Ray, then Hughes gets on the apron. Buh Buh's DDT finishes at a clipped 2:45. 3/4*. Buh Buh's music isn't dubbed, thank goodness, and that's cut once Shane Douglas makes a surprise appearance at the ECW Arena. He wants to teach Buh Buh some English, and slaps the taste out of Buh Buh's mouth. And that's that.   ___________________   A useless Rey Mysterio promo...   ___________________   And now, we have what this episode is famous for. The Beulah pregnancy angle. I have to say, this shit does not hold up at all. I was almost embarassed to be watching it. I'm not going to recap it. This kind of shit is what inspired Russo to do his Crash TV garbage, so this is one of my least favorite things I've seen in the wrestling business. What some people call, "pushing the envelope," others call trash. I'm in the group that calls it trash. It just doesn't hold up whatsoever, and I wanted to get that off my chest now. I won't say anything negative about it from now on.   ___________________   My spiel about this show....overbooked. The last episode was far better. If someone watched this episode and called ECW, "Extremely Crappy Wrestling," I wouldn't disagree. Buh Buh's gimmick is really funny, so it gives this show a higher rating than I would give it otherwise.       My rating: Decent. I was entertained, but I couldn't handle it for more than 45 minutes, the length of the episode. The pregnancy angle kinda put a downer on this episode, IMO.

Guest

Guest

 

3.21, Teh Sopranos.

Ok, so I rented the 1st disc of Season 1 from the library a few days ago and just finished it. I thought it was cool, but not ass-blastingly overwhelming, so what I'm trying to ask is, is it worth it to continue on? I love watching almost anything m0b-related, so I just wanna know if it's worth it.   If anyone comes across this and wants to answer my question, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT.   Predictions for the Thursday and Friday NCAA tourney games will be made tomorrow.

Guest

Guest

 

Predictions for Sunday's NCAA Tournament Games.

My fucking entry got deleted, so I'm in a bad fucking mood. Short, sweet and to the point. Fuck posting records at this point, because it's meaningless.   Chicago, Illinois. West, Midwest.   1. Kansas v. 8 Kentucky. Kentucky is just there. Kansas got the easy road to the Elite Eight. Comfortable win here, this will be the only 1 v 8 that I don't think will end at the wire.   2. Wisconsin v. 7 UNLV. Lovin' UNLV and they've got teh athletes. Goes against my, if shit in the first round they'll be good in the 2nd theory, but whatever. UNLV with some cool shit late.   New AWLINS, Louisiana. Midwest, South.   1. Florida v. 9 Purdue. This one's going to be close, because I think on paper, this is the one that looks like it could be a blowout. Arizona needs to purchase their players brains, that's a top 10 team athletically. Florida kinda late.   (2) Memphis vs. (7) Nevada. Man, I really think Nevada's athletes can keep up with Memphis. But Memphis has that turn-on capability, where they can run any team in the tourney out of the building and to the airport. I think Memphis doesn't have the experience with their big time players, so I'll take the Wolfpack.   Spokane, Washington. First game is from the Midwest Region, 2nd is from the East Region. Shitty tournament venue, by the way. Keep this shit in Seattle so I can go next time. Thx.   (3)Oregon vs. (11)Winthrop. Here's my "two-way pick". This is going to be an Oregon blowout, similar to the USC game last week, or it's going to be a close Oregon victory. This Duck team is really good guys. Really good. Pullin' the THEORY on this one. Double the gimmick, double the fun.   (4)Texas vs. (5)USC. There isn't a fucking chance of me picking against USC here. Nick Young is rockin' the MOHAWK~! those Horns need to be fucking hooked, and we fucking owe them. My fucking goodness, we owe those damn cocksuckers. I'm getting excited thinkin' about it. I want to blow these fucking bitches the fuck onto a fucking airplane headed back to fucking Austin. I'm fucking psyched.   Now that I'm heading to the games in Columbus, Ohio I can calm down. Talkin' about the Spokane shit gets me wired. West, South. Feel bad for the organizers at this site, there's no big draw.   (4)Southern Illinois vs. (5)Va. Tech. I think the Hokies proved how I felt about them at the beginning, with the way they played today. Man, I don't like them at all. Southern Illinois big.   (4)Virginia vs. (5) Tennessee. The Vols made firm believers out of me this afternoon. That Long Beach State shit was a beating. I said that the Hoos couldn't get to the Sweet 16 unless they played at home, so Tennessee in the only OT game of the day.     I did pretty good outside of the LBSU debacle. I'm probably going to update this blog often because I have a lot to say about sports that'll get me in trouble on the board. On Monday I'll talk about whatever's the big news that's buggin' me. I'll post some thoughts about each of the results from the weekend on the corresponding days. Comments are way appreciated, even if you disagree. It'll probably lead to some nice discussion.

Guest

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Predictions for Saturday's NCAA Tournament Games.

These do not coincide with my brackets at all, these are mostly my gambling picks. I make my ballsy picks here, not in the brackets where I have the chance to brag.   Lexington, Kentucky. South Region.   (1) Buckeyes (30-3) vs. (9) X (25-8). I'm lovin' X here. Reasons for this are...   #1. They're playing close to home.   #2. Thad Matta is Xavier's former coach. His recruits will come out to play.   #3. One 8 will beat a 9. I like this matchup better than the other ones.   (3) Texas A&M (26-6) vs. (6) Cardinals (24-9). My analysis on the Stanford game is enough to not trust me on this one. However, I really underestimated the early start time and the Louisville press. I think A&M has enough athletes to break it, so they win. CLOSE.     Sactown, California. West and East.   (2) FUCLA (27-5) vs. (7) Indiana (21-10). This is an awesome matchup for those that like the low-scoring games. This one's going to be real close, if you ask me. I'll go with a UCLA padded victory after teh free throws, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it go the other way.   (3) Wazoo (26-7) vs. (6) Vandy(21-11). Don't get Vandy. Hate Wazoo. Wazoo will get to the Sweet 16, because I really don't get Vanderbilt's success. If someone could explain it to me, it would be helpful. Another close one.     Winston Salem, North Carolina. East Region.   Some prior analysis....     (1) North Carolina (28-6) vs. (9) Sparta (23-11). This game can go one of two ways. UNC blowout or Nazi boy shows up and gives North Carolina a scare. This game could prove my prior analysis right. I know it's not the smart pick, but I want to take Michigan St. here. But I can't, so UNC in a blowout where Neitzel does nothing.   (2) Hoyas (27-6) vs. (7) BC. (21-11). Georgetown is going to make BC pay for leaving the Big East. BC has the experience, but Georgetown needs to show WHY they're a sexy Final Four pick. Georgetown, not in a blowout, but by enough to keep everyone from sweating.   City of Losers, New York. Only Midwest matchup on the day and a Western matchup.   (4) Terps (24-8) vs. (5) Butler (27-6). I have this theory about teams that play real shitty and find their way into the 2nd round. They explode once they get there. Time for Butler to test it, I think they'll win.   3) SHIT Panthers (27-7) vs. (11) VCU (27-6). I'm having a real hard time not picking VCU here. Pitt let Wright State get back into the game before closing them out. Commonwealth has a lot more talent than Wright State. Best game of the day, another down to the wire game.     It almost makes me glad to see these matchups and no upsets, because these are some pretty fucking good matchups. I got 12 of 16 games today right on this blog, so I did a pretty good job. I'm picking with an unbalanced mixture of heart and head here.        

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Predictions for Thursday's NCAA Tournament Games

This tournament is a crapshoot, so why not post my bullshit predictions? I'll separate them by the sites of the games.   Lexington, Kentucky. Games are from the South bracket.   (1) Buckeyes (29-3) vs. (16) Central Conn. St. (22-11). Ohio State's going to win this game by 50 points. That's the great analysis that you could only find on this blog.   (8) Mormons (25-8) vs. (9) X (24-8). This is a tossup. I'll take Xavier. They've got something to prove, and they're playing much closer to home than Brigham Young. Plus, BYU has an Ainge on their team. For that, they can go to hell. Xavier by 6.   (6) Cardinals (23-9) vs. (11) Cardinal (18-12). I'm going to pick a lot of the #11 seeds. This pick is based on my knowledge of Stanford, having watched them a gajillion times. Brook Lopez is a force on the inside. Stanford by 10.   (3) Texas A&M (25-6) vs. (14) Pennsylvania (22-8). A&M's a Final Four pick of mine. They'll get a 20 point win.   Sacramento, California. If SC would have been playing in Cowtown, I'd use my FFM's to get up there. The first two games are from the West bracket, and the 2nd set are from the East Bracket.   (2) F UCLA (26-5) vs. (15) Weber St. (20-11). Weber State has a shooter's chance. That's all they've got, because with their lack of athleticism they'll need to rain 3's on UCLA to keep it close. I really don't see that happening, so UCLA by a comfortable 25.   (7) Indiana (20-10) vs. (10) Zags (23-10). If Gonzaga had Heytvelt, I'd pick 'em. They don't, so they lose an edge in what will likely be a typical Sampson, slow, boring ass game. Indiana by Fo. ______________________________________   (3) Wazoo (25-7) vs. (14) Oral Roberts (23-10). Wazoo is starting to fall back to earth. Oral Roberts is the earth that Wazoo will hit. No analysis, just an Oral Roberts upset after a late comeback.   (6) Vandy(20-11) vs. (11) G-Dub (23-8). I just don't think that Vandy's that good. Sue me. GW by 7.   Winston-Salem, North Carolina. All 4 matchups from the East bracket.   (1) North Carolina (27-6) vs. (16) Eastern Kentucky (21-11). I don't think UNC should have received a #1 seed. They won't do anything to prove me right in this matchup.   (2) Hoyas (26-6) vs. 15) Belmont (23-9). This will be the biggest beating of any non-#1 seed game taking place in the entire tournament. I like Georgetown to go all the way, but that's not what this blog is for. It's for picking the matchups that are set.   (7) BC. (20-11) vs. (10) Knight U. (21-12). I haven't been feelin' the BC love all year. That said, I don't like Texas Tech very much either. SO, this will probably be a great game. BC in OT.   (8) Marquette (24-9) vs. (9) Sparta (22-11). The 2nd best 1st round matchup. I've got a feeling that one of these teams is going to get blown out, and I don't see Michigan St. having that ability. Marquette by a nice +15.   Buffalo, New York. First two games are from the West bracket, 2nd set is from the East bracket.   (3) SHIT Panthers (27-7) vs. (14) Wright St. (23-9). This game is going to be much, MUCH closer than anyone thinks. Pitt survives in the same fashion that Florida did when they had Mike Miller.   (6) Dook (22-10) vs. (11) VCU (27-6). This is going to be the biggest shitkicking of Dook I've ever seen. VCU by 15. Duke's white guys are going to get ran out of the building. ___________________________________________   (4) Terps (24-8) vs. (13) Davidson (29-4). This is going to become a trendy upset pick by the networks over the period leading up to the tournament. I really don't see it. Maryland by 13.   (5) Butler (27-6) vs. (12) Old Dominion (24-8). I hate how the committee matched these two teams together. I thought that they both had Sweet 16 potential. OT game here, I'll take Butler.     Tomorrow I'll hit up the Friday games. Comments, complaints and anything else you can think of are welcome.

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My Thanksgiving Story.

I was taking turkey orders yesterday, and someone (obviously) wanted a turkey. They paid for the turkey and everything else before I told them what else came with it. The person told me that they needed to ask me a question. I told them to go ahead. They asked me if you could reheat the turkey in a microwave. These Mohammedans asked me if there was pork in THE TURKEY STUFFING AND IF THERE WAS SWEET POTATO IN THE YAMS. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.   Happy Turkey shit.

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I need to look for work....AGAIN.

I don't have a problem with my job, but I've gotta find a different place to work. The managers ride me so hard that I feel like Secretariat. Embarass me in front of customers, the whole nine yards.   I applied to work at a new store, and I was hired with the belief that I would be working there when it opened. I went up to the front to ask when the new store would be opened, and if I was going to be going to work there, as my co-workers had told me that I may not be going. I was ignored....blown off, like I wasn't allowed to ask. I didn't think I was being rude, or asking anything that I shouldn't be asking. Apparently, I was. I don't ask for a whole lot at work. I don't care about my pay, and I don't care about the hours that I have to work, or how hard (or easy) my work is. I try to get in, collect my paycheck and do my shit, and get out. The only thing that I want is a modicum of respect, or at least a slight inclination that my superiors care about my work. I've never complained once, about anything that they've asked me to do.   They don't fucking care, so why should I? I don't have to be treated like shit, because I don't have bills to pay and wouldn't be in financial trouble if I quit. SO, I filled out some applications today. It felt pretty fucking good, looking for a different place to work. The only thing that I'm afraid of, is that it's going to be the same way everywhere I go. The sad thing is, I know it's always going to be this way, and yet I get my hopes up over nothing. I really don't know what to do. I can't go back to sitting here all day doing nothing, I'd go fucking nuts.   I'm just really confused. The only thing that I'm sure of is that I won't be working at my store for very much longer. I don't need to be treated like shit. After that, everything's in the air.

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I'm so uncontent.

I need to find work. I need a job where I come in contact with a lot of people, because the lack of contact that I've had with people over the last few months due to not having work or class is driving me crazy. I'm probably going to work at the grocery store or some shit so that I can save enough money for this ghetto JuCo up the street. It's not like I have to pay a car payment or an insurance payment, because I gave my older, already paid for car to my brother so that I wouldn't have to pay the insurance. I don't pay rent either, only for my food out of money that I earn doing odd jobs.   I'm broke as fuck, and not really liking my situation right now. It's not like I'm some fat slob that's just sitting here on the computer all day doing nothing, I'm a healthy guy that has been doing stuff every day in order to curve my boredom. That stuff costs, and I'm out of a way to pay for it. It's not like there's something wrong with me that's keeping me from getting a job, but for some reason, I don't have one. I've looked for work constantly. I'm pretty fortunate to be where I am right now, with people that care about me, but I need to find something for myself. I feel kinda empty. If this sounds like some angsty rant, well, it probably is, because I'm tired and pissed off at myself right now. After all, that's what blogs are for, pissing and moaning.

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Trade Deadline Madness.

A lot of things that happen this time of year confuse the fuck out of me, but some things stay the same.   Why trade for Wilson Betemit when you are going to trade for Julio Lugo, despite only having one place to play them?   Why trade one of the best players in baseball for a few nothing prospects?   Atlanta wants to trade Andruw Jones. WHY?   Now, for things that stay the same.   Jim Bowden fucked up again.   The Orioles do not know what they fuck they are doing.   Ditto the Pirates.   The Mets get a Latino player.   The Yankees get what they want without giving anything for it. This simply amazes me. Much respect to Steinbrenner.   Stoneman lived up to his name.   The A's did not trade a pitcher, and the Giants didn't sell one of their veterans.   Kenny Williams does a lot of posturing.   The Cubs fuck up.   There are tons of SAWX rumors, and nothing happens.   I guess the point of this list was to show that the more things change, the more they stay the same. In some cases it's sad, but in others it just serves to let us know which teams are going to be contenders. This is baseball, and this is why we watch.   Winners: Yankees, Reds, Rangers and Dodgers   Losers: Nationals (they fucked up), Phillies, Orioles and Pirates   The winners are the teams that I think may have been pushed over the brink and into the playoffs as a result of their acquisitions, and the losers were the teams that simply did not know what to do with what they had. Jim Bowden is the biggest idiot of all.

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So, if Shaq gets another ring, and Dodger stuff

Forewarning, this is long. First Lakers, then Dodgers, then USC.   Does the Laker fanbase here support it? I know a ton of people that loved this guy when he was here and hate his guts now. Personally, I think that's a load of shit on their behalf, because nothing changed about Shaq. He's the same guy he always was, everyone just got pissed off because the Lakers were now one of the teams he made fun of. Boo fucking hoo. If they can't handle someone having playful fun or throwing barbs at/with their team, they shouldn't be watching sports in the first place. I'm sick of these uptight assholes in the real world that I have to deal with when I talk about the playoffs on a daily basis. I feel a little better about saying that.   Anyway, to the important LA team at this stage, the Dodgers (fuck that LA Angels hippie shit). This team is a serious contender. I had no idea that their lineup was going to be like this, and I didn't think that the prospects would be able to step in and contribute if guys went down. They need a pitcher, which they can get with the talent that they have in the system. If they get a pitcher, I'm beginning to think that this is a serious NL contender. If they get in the playoffs, they're very dangerous. I trust Derek Lowe to pitch great out there. Gagne comes back to form, they're going to be really hard to beat. I love what I've seen so far.   I talked to one of my buddies that plays football at USC the other day. Turns out he broke their squat record, which considering the talent that's been through there is EXTREMELY impressive, and that he thinks that Mark (for some reason, maybe because it's late, I feel like calling him Matt. Maybe that's his name, I'm too tired.) Sanchez could be better than Matt Leinart. The rest of what he said I'll leave for an entry closer to the season, but I have some input of my own from what I've seen of Sanchez. I'm going to say that he will be better than Matt Leinart. How can I possibly know this? I've seen this guy in person 3 times, and my school played against this guy's (almost all white guys) in a passing league. If anyone but Leinart was the starter at SC, he would have played last year. This guy has "it", that star quality that you see every once in a while. I'm no scout, but this guy is a prototypical QB. He can throw from the pocket, on the run, and he's really mobile. He makes perfect reads (My friends in the passing league were fucking shocked at some of the throws he was able to make at that age) and spreads the ball around. This guy is a winner.   I'll have some scoop on UCLA and Oregon before the season too, because I know one player from each school. One of their families happens to live three doors down. How exciting!

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So, when is the media going to let it go?

Of course, by it, I mean the Lakers-Suns series.   First of all, why is ESPN reporting this, "One story circulating among the Suns is that Bryant strongly encouraged teammates not to linger on the floor after the final buzzer for post-series handshakes"? Kobe can't "force" anyone to do anything. Unless you believe that woman from Eagle, CO, in which case you can freely believe she's correct. Not my problem.   Secondly, why the fuck are the Suns still thinking about this? Focus on your next series, don't worry about the Lakers anymore. They're going to get smoked tonight if they're still thinking about #8..er..#24.   I expect them to demolish the Clippers, thanks for asking.   Lakers offseason. Oh man, Mitch Kupchak is going to fuck this up. He always does. Let's spend our Full MLE on Vlade Divac. OOPS, we'll buy him out at the tune of 2 million. Let's try Aaron Mckie. OOPS. Those two didn't even play a full 6 games combined. Oh well, that's Mitchell.   Wants, I'm going to be very realistic and stick within possibilities.   Melvin Ely Al Harrington (Sign and trade. More feasible than it sounds, very need based from ATL's perspective. They know they aren't keeping him. If the Lakers do this, the 07-08 plan goes right into the shitter. That's what I want, I'm sick of fucking plans. First with my hockey team, now this? Fuck that shit.) Marcus Banks Reggie Evans (I'm serious.) Brevin Knight   Do not wants.   Carlos Boozer Bobby Jackson. (Would almost be worth it just to keep him from killing LA again.) Sam Cassell (Iffy on this one.)     Pipedreams Iverson. I don't know why, I just love this guy's passion for the game. I'd rather they didn't trade for Garnett unless they get presented with something that doesn't involve Bynum. It won't happen.      

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Lakers win a thriller, and I am shocked.

I'm partly doing this to move discussion here, hopefully.   The Lakers win, Nash choked and has an injured back. The Lakers had no business being in that ballgame. They got very lucky that Nash positioned himself on the baseline twice.   Hopefully, I'll get some comments to talk about the game, if not, oh well.   I'm just ecstatic that the Lakers will play the Clippers in the 2nd round, and once again the focus of the basketball world will turn to Los Angeles.

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The Stanley Cup champions reside in San Jose.

I have never seen a team as complete as the Sharks. They are unreal. The only true threat to them is the Stars, but they have questions in net. I am convinced that the Sharks will put California hockey on the map, at which point I will kill myself.   On another note, Luc Robitaille's final game is tonight. He is a legend in every sense of the word. Ranks 10th all-time in goalscoring, ranks 1st among LW's in goalscoring, and is 1st in LA Kings goalscoring. I'll miss hearing the Staples Center chant Luuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccc every time he touches the puck. Most underrated player of all time? I think so. Can't wait for his number to be retired, which will undoubtedly be against Montreal next season.   He will be missed.

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Going in a new direction.

So, I guess this thing is going to become my Dodger/Kings/Lakers rant blog. I've got a lot to say after every game, and I guess this is going to be my platform to say it. After the Dodger game tonight, I'll update again.

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The Beginning

This is definitely going to be interesting as here I'm going to post my thoughts on happenings throughout the sports world. This thing will be used for my rants and hopefully some of you will enjoy it.   So here's the first thing I'm going to discuss, bowl scheduling.     Ok, so did the bowl representatives royally fuck this one up? There aren't any remotely interesting matchups until the 27th of November, and that day is only relevant so that we can hopefully see Tommy Bowden run the score up on everyone's favorite coach, Gary Barnett. I'm really not interested in many of these games that pit a mid major against a large conference team. So many of these games seem to be obvious wins, but in bowl games suspensions and injuries during practice happen and the winner is dictated on the field.   The BCS sucks and I'm ready for it to be gone. How much longer do we have to wait until a bad Florida State team doesn't make it into the BCS?   I'll evaluate all of these bowl matchups the day before the games are to occur.   Comments are appreciated.    

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12/5/05

When I can't think of a good title I'll just use the date, but I think right now it's the right time to talk about the Dodgers signing Rafael Furcal and one of the important games in the NFL that took place on Sunday.   So, the Dodgers signed Rafael Furcal to a 3 year 40 million dollar contract. This makes them a contender in a poor NL West and I think that if JD Drew can magically find a way to avoid the injury bug, we could be looking at a 90 win team. Furcal creates run opportunities for the team and that's something that the Dodgers haven't had since they traded Dave Roberts. I'm looking forward to see what he can do in L.A..   Was anyone else shocked that the Bengals actually went into Heinz Field and beat the Steelers? I think Carson Palmer is one of the better quarterbacks in the league and that by the end of his career, he could have a few rings on his fingers. Chad Johnson disappointed, but I don't know if that was due to his ankle being injured during the game or not.   Ben Roethlisberger is a gamer, enough said.   As usual, comments are wanted and appreciated.

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Heisman Stuff

Well, we now know who the Heisman finalists are, and is there any surprise? I think that there should have been more guys invited than there were, namely Brady Quinn and Drew Olson, but the voters did pick the correct 3 players.   I think that the Heisman winner should be Reggie Bush, but the fact that Vince Young had one of the best seasons in recent memory should not be forgotten. If Vince had performed like this last year, he would have been the guy going for his second Heisman, and not Matt Leinart. Also, it's nice to see that the 3 Heisman finalists will all be in the National Title game.   Some other stuff:   The Lakers played well tonight, I hope to see the development of Lamar Odom in the triangle progress.   The Kings beat the Leafs last night, which ended their 4 game downer. They play Carolina tomorrow.   The Dodgers are looking to acquire Alfonso Soriano, which isn't a move that I'm too sold on. I don't like his defensive play and his "all-or-nothing" swing won't really work in Los Angeles.   Comments are wanted and appreciated.

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