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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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How To Vibrate
 

Shitty Horror Movies I Love

Here's a list of horror movies that I think aren't really good, but I love them anyway. Basically, if you like your horror movies corny, then I recommend these.   Ghosts of Mars-John Carpenter basically combines two of his movies ("The Fog" and "Assault on Precinct 13") and comes up with this sucker. It's not great by any means, but it has it's charms, such as Ice Cube, Natasha Henstridge (remember her?), Pam Grier, and a villain named "Big Daddy Mars" who looks like a goth rock star.   Lifeforce-Tobe Hooper's biggest budgeted movie still entertains me, in spite of the fact that it's goofy as hell. Basically, it has Space vampires (including a girl who is naked throughout the whole movie) who suck out people's souls, the population of London turning into zombie vampire things, London being destroyed, overacting, and Patrick Stewarts first on screen kiss-which is with Steve Railsback. Also, the first of two Tobe Hopper movies on the list.   Burial Ground-Italian zombie trash is ludicrous fun, with zombies that for some unexplained reason can use weapons, plenty of tits and ass, a creepy midget playing a creepy kid who has a creepy crush on his mother, gore galore, a scientist saying to a zombie "No, I'm your friend!"   Zombie Creeping Flesh (aka "Virus" and "Hell of the Living Dead)-If Ed Wood directed an Italian zombie gore flick, it would be like this. Contains pointless nudity, bad dialogue(ex. "What's eating you?"), tons of jungle stock footage, some decent gore, and a scene with a man in a tutu that's suppossed to be serious.   Mortuary-I reviewed this a while back, but after seeing it a second time, I've grown to sort of like it. In this one, a family of three takes residence in a morgue at Arkham, Mass (if you know of the works of H.P. Lovecraft, you know this is a bad thing), and run into some problems-including a guy called Bobby Fowler, more H.P. Lovecraft references then you can shake a stick at, and a fungus that turns people into zombies.   Zombi 3-Lucio Fulci's sequal to "Zombi 2" is largely hated, but so corny, it's hard for me to hate. This movie deals with a toxin that turns people into zombies, but that's just the beginning. Here, you get zombie birds, slow zombies, fast zombies, a Stevie Wonder gone Ratafarian radio DJ, gore, and best of all-a severed zombie head in a fridge that inexplicably flies out and attacks a guy.   That's all for now. Here's some of what you might find in this blog this summer:   -A look at the year so far -Two book reviews-One of Edward Lee's "The Bighead", and one of Joe Lansdale's "Dead in the West" -The worst Wrestling feuds of all time -overrated horror movies    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Crazy Preacher pt. 2, Homework, and RIP Bruno Mattei

-Last Friday, I finally got to see the crazy preacher dude I told you about last time. The guy himself is a riot, and dances around a whole lot. Really, he does a little footwork. He also has a tendancy to smack his bible and shove it in people's faces. Anyways, he railed on and on about homosexuals (I hear he did a lot of ranting about Catholics when I wasn't there), so I told him "You know, gor a guy who rails on about homosexuals a lot, you sure do have a pretty gay hat." Afterwards, a gay guy walked up to me and said "I agree with ya dude." I haven't seen the crazy preacher since, though next time, I'll probably recite the theme from "Fresh Prince of Bell Air" to him.   -I do have an excuse for not doing many journal entries lately: I've been knee deep in homework. I've had to finish reports, and finals are coming up, so there's the sad excuse.   -Good news: "Masters of Horror" has been renewed for a third season.   -Finally, Italian exploitation and horror director Bruno Mattei (aka "Vincent Dawn") has died. While none of his movies ("Hell of the Living Dead", "The Other Hell", "SS Extermination Love Camp", and "Rats: Night of Terror") were actually good, they were at least so good they were bad, in a MST3K sort of way.   1931-2007
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Post Super Bowl Extravagenza, or Prince Kicks Ass

-Well, the Super Bowl was on last night, and the Colts won. The game itself was lackluster, IMO. The highlight of course, was Motherfucking Prince. After a series of shitty halftime shows, his Majesty shows the Stones and McCarthy how it's done. The second he dropped the mic and played guitar, I marked out bigtime.   The commercials were largely dissapointing, for the most part. The Futuristic Coke commercial was ass, and the commecial with Federline was suprisingly amusing, but still lame. The best one though, was Letterman with Oprah. Next to Prince, it was the highlight of the night, because no one saw coming.   -In other news, I took a midterm today, and I'm feeling alright about it. I hopefully did good, or at least passed. Now, off to do a bunch of essay papers...   -Season 2 of "Masters of Horror" is over, and it ended in a disappointing way. A shame that what could have been a good season finale was ruined by poor acting and a series of Japanese horror cliches.   -Joe Biden is the next to throw his hat in the Presidential race. The good news for him: He stands a better chance than Kucinich the Munchkin. The bad news: He sucks as a candidate, and stands no chance in hell.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Quilombo!

-In good new, it quit snowing over here, and it's warming up some. It's supposed to be somewhere in the 50's later on this week, which puts a smile on my face.   -Ghostrider is the top movie in the box office. I remember seeing the trailer for it when I saw Borat, and for the first time in my life, I found myself hoping a Tyler Perry movie would do better.   Oh well, at least The Abandoned is in theatres Friday.   -Here's Libertarian Stan Jones being a paranoid doof. Read the Youtube comments, because they are a riot. Oh, and LOL Communism.   -It seems like Mick Romney, who's a Republican presidential candidate, is getting heckled because he's Mormon. Look folks, if you are going to heckle someone, make it be because of their Political background instead of their religious one. I'm no Bible Thumper myself, but I have no problem with someone if they have any sort of religion (except Scientology), and when you do shit like this, you just look like a jackass.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

So much for small things...

-After watching Saturday Night's Main Event, I no longer care too much about Vince has a kid anymore. Yep, what was once corny but enoyable has now grown old fast. So much for small things...   -SuperBad is fucking awesome. Really, I haven't laughed that hard in ages. The funniest movie of the year so far, beating out Knocked Up.   I also saw Hot Rod on a Sunday Matinee, but wasn't too impressed. Sorry folks, it really didn't amuse me too much. If anything, it annoyed me.   I skipped The Invasion, since it's gotten some pretty bad word of mouth, and didn't look all that good.   -Dwarf glued penis to Hoover. I love the internet.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Hippies and Other Such Things

Anyways, I've been incredibly busy lately. Finals are this week.   Now, on with other things.   -Last Thursday, while I was leaving class, I saw something that plagues every college campus: Hippies. They were pretty much standing around, holding signs with big "I'm Pro-Life" and "Fuck Bush" written on them, one of them had a megaphone and was shouting all kinds of things like "Bush is a Shitty President" and basically being obnoxious hippies who refuse to make anything out of themselves or the opportunities given to them because they are too busy being jackasses and "Fighting The Man". I was tempted to come up to them and say something to piss them off-I mean come on, it's not lke they will gang up on me and beat me up-but I didn't. I wish I did though. Later on that day, I told one of my friends about this, and she pretty much defended them.   Anyways, here's my point: I'm very Anti-Bush. I'm not exactly a big fan of the war in Iraq. At the same time though, I really fucking hate hippies. I'm sorry hippies, but why do you continue to "Fight For The Cause"? I'm not happy with Bush either, but I don't go around annoying people because of it. Plus, hippies are utterly clueless. They don't seem to realize how the real world works. Sure, I have no problem with anyone who skips class, but if your going to do it so you can shout out lame slogans and such, then I'm sorry, but you suck. Get a steady job. Attend your classes. Hell, you are in college. You are being given the perfect opportunity to make something usefull out of yourselves. To actually contribute something to society and become something. Hell, right now, you have the fucking luxery of delaying entrance into the real world for a good four to five years. And how do you this: By conforming to every lame "Down With The Elite" stereotype imaginable.   Guess what hippies? You are a part of the "elite". You are a part of society. Sure, you don't contribute to anything like actually getting an education or going to work, but you are still a part of society. You are all conformists. Hell, everyone is a conformist, and you know what? It's great. Being a conformist is actually fucking awesome in reality. For now though, you don't realize that. You are to busy wearing your Che Guevara T-Shirts and smoking your joints to realize that you are utter failures.   Ok, I'm done ranting.   That out of the way, one more thing I've noticed: Though they preach racial equality, all hippies seem to be white. I'm a white guy myself, but It just further confirms my belief that the majority of idiots in America are white.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Stabbed in the crotch

-I was going to do a look at the movies of Dario Argento, but since nobody here unfortunately knows who that is, I decided not to. I will do a review of the book "The Bighead" next week.   -I will be seeing "Snakes on a Plane" tonight. Hopefully, I'll stop hearing about it soon, as it's not funny anymore.   -NHB needs fixed. Ban EHME, WP, and Cronoyasha for starts. Oh, and quit posting racist gag pictures already. Not even a highschool kid would find it funny. In other words: It's not funny, it's not offensive, it's just lame.   -The Venture Brothers is the best show on Adult Swim right now. I'll do a "reasons the Venture Brothers kicks ass" entry soon.   -Also, starting in September, I'll be doing a list of the manliest movies ever made. Unfortunately, only two Arnold movies will be on it.   -This is stupid folks, as well as overused.   -Book recommendation: The Conqueror Worms by Brian Keane. Great post apocalyptic sci-fi horror.   That's all for now. Next time: Why the Venture Brothers rules.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Super Bowl and other such things

Well, The Stealers won the Superbowl last night. I was sort of wishing Seattle would win, just because all of the Stealers love was getting on my nerves. Also, my sister called me last night, and told me that my dad hates them. Oh well.   Anyways, the pregame show (with Stevie Wonder) was alright. The halftime show sucked though. That was probably the most overblown performance of "Satisfaction" I've ever seen. As for comercials, the FedEx commercial with the Cavemen was the best, while the Diet Pepsi commercials were the worst.   Gotta go. Have some homework to fiinish.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

I can explain my absence

Yeah, it's been a while since I posted an entry. I have an excuse however: I've been up to my neck in homework. I've had midterms,quizzes, and papers to do, and I haven't been able to post as many blog entries, or post in TSM, as much as I'd like to. I'll do more later.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Rooty Tooty Doo

-Well, I'm done with work for one of my classes. Other than that, it's buisiness as usual over here. It looks like its going to rain.   -I'm not looking forward to X-Men 3. Why? Well, besides the fact that it's directed by the dude who did "Red Dragon" (I hated that movie), it looks like they're trying to put too much from the series into one movie.   -WWE has officially ruined Trish Vs. Mickey thanks to the addition of Beth. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Plus, I knew they were going to ruin it somehow. Also, I'm sick and tired of Umaga. Smackdown already has a dreadful HOSS BY GAWD that can't be stopped, so why does Raw have to? Wait a minute, this is Raw I'm talking about...   At least Smackdowns has had build-up.   -A while back, I promised you a strange link, so here you go: bianca's Fetish Forum. Thanks to Something Awful for providing the link. Anyways, there's some weird shit here, but I think most of it's made up.   That's all for now. Next time: Preperation for finals, the weather, and my Memorial Day visit to my parent's house.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Underrated Horror Movies

There's a ton of horror movies out there, and just like albums, there are ones that don't get as much attention as they deserve. Here are some that I think deserve more attention.   Trauma-Underappreciated movie from Dario Argento. Some say this was the start of his directorial downfall, but I'd disagree (I'd say it's "Phantom of the Opera"). Here, his daughter Asia stars as a bulemic girl who is taken into custody by a concerned cop. Oh, and there's a killer who decapitates his victems with a nifty noose device. Also, cool appearences from the likes of James Russo, Brado Dorrif, and Piper Laurie.   Luther The Geek-No, not a nerd, but a circus geek. Here, a serial killer with a thing for biting necks (who also clucks like a chicken, and has a pair of cool metal dentures) is let out of jail-and terrorizes a mother, her daughter, her boyfriend, and a cop. Goofy, but oddly creepy.   Warning Sign-Before there was "28 Days Later", there was this movie about a virus that infects the workers at a secret lab, turning them into maniacs whose skin is peeling off. The movie also stars Sam ("Law and Order") Waterson and Kathleen Quinlan.   Blood Diner-Weird ass tribute to Hershell Gordon Lewis is one of the strangest horror comedies ever made. This movie deals with brothers trying to reawaken an Egyptian goddess by killing women-and that's just the start. From then on, we get zombies, cool visual gags ("battered girlfriend" is a favorite), and other things.   Street Trash-A wall to wall celebration of bad taste, this sucker has liquor that causes people to melt and explode. Oh, and winos, necrophilia, gang rape, fart jokes, and a game of hot potato with a severed penis.   Body Melt-More body exploding goodness. This time, it's a weight loss supplement. It's really confusing, but it's quit unforgettable, disgusting, and funny.   The Stendhal Syndrome-Another underappreciated Film from Dario Argento. His daughter Asia stars again, this time as a police woman/past rape victim who finds herself slowly going insane while tracking down a serial killer. Interesting fact: When Stuart Gordon saw it, he was so disturbed he had to leave the theatre.   I Drink Your Blood-Here's one kkktookmybabyaway might like: A cult of Charles Manson like hippies/devil worshippers get rabies, and cause havoc on a small town. Full of (poorly done) gore, bad acting, and other things that make 70's exploitation so awsome.   Just Before Dawn-From the director of MST3K "favorite" "Squirm" and the cult favorite "Blue Sunshie" comes this cool little slasher, which mixes "Friday the 13th","Deliverance", and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" into a fun little movie.   Junk-Japanese rip-off of Italian zombie movies is still a blast in my eyes. Plus, it's got a hot naked zombie chick, and a zombie that eats it's own flesh.   That's all for now. Next time: Whatever comes to mind.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Popular and unpopular opinions

Here's some opinions some will agree with, and some won't. Remember, these are only opinions.   -I hate it when I hear white guys talk about how hard they have it, and how they think black people are holding them down. To those guys: you will never know what real oppression is.   -Also, to those who complain about black people not getting over the racism of the past and the present: 400 years is a long time.   -Everyone on Late night TV is watchable except for Leno. What does everybody see in this guy?   -When I saw the previews for the moivie "Little Man", I thought "Wow, Hollywood really doesn't know anything about Black People"   -I feel bad for Jon Stewart, because most of his audience is now made up of Che Guvera t-shirt wearing, college fucks who don't know anything about the real world except for whatever bullshit Michael Moore has to say. Oh, and Nader fanboys.   -I'm sick of hearing "Conservative Media" and "Liberal Media". The media is the media. Enough of your persecution complex.   -Kathie Griffin may be one of the most annoying women on Earth.   -Most athiest on the internet are idiots. I'm talking about some of the ones you find on Fark, who seem to think that because they are an athiest, that it gives them the right to be an asshole, and the whole Pastafarian thing. You know what: I don't give a flying fuck that you don't believe in God, ok? Just because you don't doesn't mean that you need to be a jackass to anyone who isn't. Then again, most of the athiests on the internet are high school NOFX fans who are mad that their parents made them go to church. What I'm trying to say is that I feel the same way about athiests that I do about most Christians: If you realize that what you do (or don't) believe does not mean you have to be an asshole, then you on my cool book. ell, I'm friends with several athiests, and they all kick ass.   Oh, and yes, I think that the whole Patafarian thing is stupid. Again it's my opinion. I mean really, it's just a lamer version of the Church of Sub-Genius.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Post Thanksgiving Day Entry

-Well, yesterday was Thanksgiving. Really, that's it for me. Nothing bad happened. Relatives came by, nobody got into any arguments, and things were fine. I ate too many peanuts though, and I'm paying for it today, if you catch my drift.   -I got Edward Lee's Coven in the mail today. I'll start reading it tonight, and give you updates as it goes on, and a review once I'm done.   -In the music front, I've been listening to Unquestionable Precence by Athiest lately. While Death Metal normally isn't me kind of thing, I'm liking this, especially the jazz inspired chord progressions.   -Saw Borat Wednesday, making it the second time I've seen it. It's still hilarious. Not the funniest movie ever, but it still rules regardless, and is the funniest movie I've seen this year, though most of this years comedies have sucked.   -Finally, it seems like Coffey was banned for being an asshole. I haven't been in the Wrestling folders much lately, so I really just can't bring myself to care.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Come on, a talking ass?!?

-Well, Adult Swim has a new show called "Assy McGee." It's about a hard drinking, foul mouthed, tough cop...who's a naked, talking ass who occasionally farts.   Seriously. I'm not making thid up.   This idea would be amusing as a one time SNL TV Funhouse skit, but as an 11 minute series...come on. Normally, I don't complain about this kind of thing, but give me a fucking break. Clearly, William Street is no longer trying if this is what they think should be greenlit. Then again, they probably know that it sucks, and are just testing our patience. Now normally, I'm all for that. Hell, I thought showing "Saved by the bell" on Adult Swil was hilarious. This isn't hilarious though. It's just...stupid.   -Now that I'm done ranting, I finished Edward Lee's book "Coven" earlier today. It's a real blast, that's a bit cliched, but still good fun. Expect a review of it in the future.   -Finally, it seems like British music magazine NME has voted this girl as the coolest person in rock. She's Beth Ditto, lesbian frontwoman of a band called The Gossip. At least she's from the US.   No offense to British TSM posters, but I'm glad I don't live in the UK all the sudden.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

A visit to Dr. Octagoncologyst

-Hillary Clinton chose a Celine Dion song as her campaign song. I would have had her go with Cum Drenched Tits by William H. Nutsack. At least Kerry had the decency to go with Zeppelin.   -Band of the moment: The Angelic Process, who are like Doom Metal meets The Swans meets My Bloody Valentine meets Sigur Ros. I love this stuff, and their new album is in my future purchases list.   -I mentioned Dr. Dre's The Chronic, and I can't believe that I forgot how awesome that album really is. The production is so top notch, it's practically a joke (I'm a sucker for really good hip hop production), and damnit, "Lyrical Gangbang" is underrated. I should probably do a "best hip hop albums of all time" list, but that would be too hard.   -This is what Scientoligists actually believe. I really, really hope that someday, this whole cult disappears. Then again, there are people who believe that they are dragons, they just aren't dangerous.   Yeah, sorry for the boring entry.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

What Is This "Wrestlemania" You Speak Of?

Well, I'm not ordering "Wrestlemania" this year. Other than a few matches, I have little to no interest in the show. Cena vs. HHH is pointless, and you know HHH is going to win. The Triple Threat Match will be good, but the only good thing that could come out of it is Angle winning, which seems pretty unlikely at this point. Boogeyman vs. Booker: Poor Booker. I don't give a shit about the Pillow Fight, and neither do the fans. Then again, when was the last time the WWE did something that made the fans happy? Undertaker vs. Henry is pointless, other than to point out that Undertaker never jobs at Wrestlemania. The tag match doesn't interest me because lets face it, the titles are practically DOA. Edge vs. Mick is just sad. Edge should still be champ right now, is a great heel, and is the most over heel on Raw, yet he gets stuck with this bullshit.   Then there is Shawn vs. Vince. This is the worst feud of the year so far. There is no point to it other than to stroke Vince's ego, and there is no real hook to the match, other than "Vince is an Evil Asshole", which got tired a long time ago. Hopefully, after tomorrow night, the whole feud will be over, but at this point, I doubt it.   I was going to post a review for "Slither", but I changed my mind. I will say that it was awesome, and the most fun I've had in a theatre in ages.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Funny/Not Funny

-Funny: Last nights episode of South Park. I never played an MMORPG or whatever those things are called, but last nights episode was great. Also, it made fun of idiots who use phrases like "noob" and "pwned". I know I'll sound like an old man, but come on people, speak fucking english   -Not Funny: Freakshow. I really wanted to like this show, and while there were some amusing aspects, it just didn't work. A shame really, since it's from David Cross.   -Funny: The whole Mark Foley scandel. Now they are blaming alchoholism for his kiddie lust. I've been drunk before, and never once did I want to fuck a kid.   -Not Funny: Last Monday's edition of Raw. The Return of DX was annoying to begin with, but now it's just pathetic.   -Funny: "My Name Is Earl" and "The Office." Great stuff. Can't wait for tonight's episodes. Oh, Rain Wilson and Ethan Suplee rule.   -Not Funny: Last Sunday's SNL. While I'm glad Sanz is finally gone, why did Parnell have to leave? He was one of the good ones. Oh, and Dane Cook really sucks.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Simpsons movie, Lohan, Cookout

-I got to see "The Simpsons Movie" early, and yes, it is great. Reminiscent of the show in it's prime, with very few jokes/gags that fall flat, ton's of quotable lines ("I like men now!"), great animation, some good gags during the credits, Spider Pig, and much more. It's worth your money.   -I also saw "I Know Who Killed Me", and it's not as bad as some (particularly critics) are making out to be, but it's not good either. The acting is hit and miss (especially Lohan, who's performance goes from cringe worthy to pretty damn good several times), and it makes little if any sense logically. It's worth a matinee showing, or a rental on DVD. Since it tanked, I expect it to do better on DVD.   -Speaking of Lohan, I don't know what to make of her at this point. At one hand, I think she's an idiot, and should go to jail. On the other hand, I will admit it, I kinda feel bad for her.   -The "Red Band" trailer for Resident Evil: Extinction is up. I kinda liked the first one, but after the second one, I'm not holding my breath. It looks gorier than the previous ones. Oh, and yes, that is Ashanti.   -Finally, I went to a cookout recently. If you ask me, it's not a successful one unless there are these three things: Beer, Brauts, and BBQ. It didn't have the third one, but with the Beer and Brauts, it was worth it. Oh, and cheese fries. So I guess it was worth it.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Fuck You Super Adventure Club!

Last nights episode of "South Park" was excellent. I basically have a feeling that the creators are done ripping on Scientology (which for now on will be known as Super Adventure Club, starting...now), which is ok. Plus, you can tell that they really are going to miss Isaac, though I hear he still performs "Salty Chocolate Balls" live.   Randy Orton changed his theme song briefly I hear. I don't watch Smackdown, so I really wouldn't know. At least he doesn't have Nickleback as his theme music.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Trent Lott's Prostate Exam

-How's it going folks? Not a whole lot going on around here (as usual). Last night though, I couldn't sleep, because there were these obnoxious kids outside at 2:30 in the morning playing with their super soakers and generally making such a racket, I could hear them through my ear plugs. Christ I hate College Freshmen.   -Last night's "South Park" was a major improvement over the previous two episodes. The "Altered States" reference was a great touch (to Family Guy: Quit Refrencing Lucas/Spielberg movies and 80's Pulp Culture, and start referencing obscure cult movies. Then I might watch you again) and the ending made great use of the theme from "The Omen". Also, it pretty much shows viewers once again how dispicable Cartman is.   -Watched "Wolf Creek" and "Event Horizon" last night. Both get 8/10 from me. I'm not getting any more DVD's until "Cemetary Man" hits DVD this June.   -Finally, I'm going to start a countdown to who I think are the most pretentious bands of all time, as well as the most pretentious albums. Anybody have any suggestions?   That's all. The countdown starts tomorrow.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

It's the Return of the Great Whitey Hope

Anyways, been a while.   So far, Wrestlemania looks like it will be shit. Normally, I order it evey year, so this looks like the first time I won't be ordering one. Here is a list of things that are most likely better than Wrestlemania will be:   Metallica's "St. Anger" Date Movie (that's right, fucking Date Movie looks better than Wrestlemania.) A movie from Uwe Boll See No Evil (I've seen the poster for it online. It has a new shitty tagline: "Evil Gets Raw") A porno from Rob Black A post from Desperate Housewife Gimmick Posters Goldberg vs. Lesner Getting a tattoo that says something retarded   Feel free to add to the list.   Also, I really dig Venetian Snares. Nothing else to add, I just really dig the guys work.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Make way for Homo Superior

-I did alright on my quiz today. Meaning I got a C. At least I passed   -A 14 year old girl was recently questioned by the FBI over threats she made about Bush on her Myspace. My thoughts: It's not like any of the threats would have happened. She's just a 14 year old idiot who gets her shitty opinions from shitty bands like Green Day. Besides, there are jackoffs on Democratic Underground and Free Republic who are older than her, and much more serious when they talk about killing political figures, and are probably more likely to try that kind of thing than a stupid 14 year old girl, yet I don't see the FBI going after them. I still hate kids today though...   -The season finale of "The Venture Brothers" was on last night, and it was awesome. Also, the title of this entry is a quote from that episode.   -I've been watching "Studio 60" as of late, and to be honest, I don't think it's all that good. Then again, it's from the creator of the overrated "Sports Night", so there you go. It has a great cast though.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

The Piper at the Gates of Dawn

-Well, I beat razazteca in round 1 of the TSM poster tournament. It feels good to win, though raz isn't really competition. Also, Slayer beat Matt "creepy bastard" Young, Leena (who actually voted for raz) beat snuffbox, and Lushus beat Edwin.   -C-Bacon has returned, and me, Invader3k, and Bobby Peru have ripped on him. Personally, I'm just starting to lose interest in him, as he's pretty much a one-trick pony.   -300 looks good, in spite of the drubbing some critics are giving it. I'll check it out.   -Married to the Sea is an online comic i reccomend. Funny stuff that will hopefully get a laugh out of you. It's no Perry Bible Fellowship, but it's pretty damn good.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

The Most Pretentious Bands and Albums: Part 1

Well as I promised, here's the start of my countdown of the most pretentious bands and albums of all time, according to me. Let's get this show on the road.   Consolidated-Here's a doozy, a preachy hip-hop/industrial "marxist" band of pro vegan, anti-capitalist jackoffs who pretty much are the epitomy of preachy, and make Rage Against the Machine look like The Osmonds. The real kicker for the group is their love of the book The Sexual Politics of Meat, a book that pretty much says that if you eat meat, then you hate women and want to rape them. Of course, the band took this to heart, as most of their songs tell you that anyone who eats meat is a rapist. Oh, and if you don't agree with them on their bullshit theories, then you are a fascist (they accuse just about everyone they disagree with fascists) who hates women and is homophobic. Oh, and read the lyrics to the song "Tool and Die", which are so preachy, they would make Lars Van Trier cringe.   Basically, what I'm trying to say is this: There is nothing sadder than hearing obnoxious white dudes rapping about how bad black people have it. Yeah, like they really know anything about the struggles minorities go through in this country. It's practically a fucking minstrel show. I do get some satisfaction though, in the fact that their anti-meat/"feminist" songs are being played at fetish clubs where women are willingly tied up and whipped today. That's irony for ya.   Kiss-Music For The Elder-From what I've heard, even the band themselves are embarrassed of this disaster. I still find it hard to believe that fucking Kiss, probably one of the least pretentious bands of all time, recorded this bloated piece of shit. Just listen to the songs like "The Oddyssey" and "I", and you'll wonder "what the fuck were they thinking". Also, to this day, I still don't know what the fuck the album is about. Could somebody please tell me what the albums concept is?   Burzum-I've mentioned in the past that I hate Burzum, as I've metioned it many a time on this thread. Read all about why I think that Burzum is one of the lamest and most pretentious projects in music history on that thread. Oh, and don't bother responding to Thumbtack, asd he seems to be in a permanent bad mood over there, and I quit arguing with him last week.   Neil Young-Trans-When artists try experimenting with different styles of music, it's a slippery road. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. This album is a perfect example of what happens when it doesn't work. Now I love Neil Young, but damnit, this album is a pretentious mess. Basically, Young decided to experiment with synthesizers and vocorders, and made this album. It's no wonder why it's hard to find in the U.S., except for Imports and on ebay, as it's a bloated disaster, and a real headscratcher as well. This album has split Young fans, with some thinking it's his most daring work. Well, daring doesn't always mean good, if you ask me.   That's all for today. The list continues next time
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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How To Vibrate
 

I'll shit the fuck up all over your face.

This entry is dedicated Hotbutter Spoonbuster, aka "TSM's answer to Tourettes Guy".   -Been a busy week, and I'm fucking tired. I haven't had a good night's sleep in a while now.   -I saw the piolet for "Korgoth of Barbaria" on Adult Swim last night, and it it's awesome. It's on again at 10:30 tonight, and I recommend it. Also, the new season of "The Venture Brothers" debuts June 25th.   -The "9/11 Conspiracy Theories" thread on the CE folder is a great big pile of stupid. That's all I have to say about that.   -Finally, my thoughts on Hotbutter Spoonbuster: This guy rules. I don't thinl he has any idea what he's saying, and he spews forth insults and profanity like he's internet celebrity Tourettes Guy. So here's to you HBSB: Don't you ever change.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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