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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Entries in this blog

How To Vibrate
 

Boy/Girl Song

Today's entry is named after an Aphex Twin Song.   -Well, as far as homework is concerned, it's back to the old grind for me, and that's just fine. Hell, it gives me something to do. Plus, sitting at the computer all day is boring.   -It seems like Czech left. My thoughts: If he's really gone, then I'm going to miss TSM's answer to the SNL Dana Carvey character Grumpy old man. That reminds me: I always thought that Carvey's "Massive Headwound Harry" character was underrated, as was Myer's "Lothar of the Hill People" and "Middle Age Man". I always thought Myers was at his best on SNL. Anyways, back on topic: I doubt he'll be gone for good. They always come back.   -Cool looking movie alert: Evil Aliens. I've heard mostly good stuff about this, and some people are calling it a splatter comedy classic. I think that it looks awesome. Unfortunately, the trailer is currently unavailable, but if or when it comes back, I'll be sure to post it. Anyways, it's getting festival and midnight showings right now, and should be out on DVD by September.   -Oh, another thing on SNL: Who do you think was an underrated character on the show?   -I saw the movie "Shadow: Dead Riot" on DVD last Friday night, and was disappointed. It has it's moments, but that's it: just moments. It's hard to believe that a zombie movie/women's prison movie/martial arts movie would be so disappointing, but it is. Still, it's not the worst zombie movie I've ever seen (That would be either "House of the Dead", "Dead Life", "Meat Market", or "Shatter Dead". Avoid those movies like the plague.)   That's all for now.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Entry With a Mission

-Well, I'm not going to be able to see "Silent Hill" tonight. Why? Because of homework. Oh well, at least I have something to do.   -I've gotten sort of used to the image of the mutant baby. That out of the way, I agree with everybody else: It needs to go. Besides, the feminized anime wrestlers are the new disturbing of TSM, though they're also hilarious. Plus, they finally gave Masked Man of Mystery a good sig.   -You know, what ever happened to Punk's sense of humor. Sure, punk has always rebelled against society and such, but at least most of the bands of old (Ramones, Dead Kennedys) had a sense of humor to go along with it. I mention this because nowadays, it seems like all the "punk" bands have no sense of humor, and take themselves way too seriously. And people wonder why I prefer bands like The Sounds to Anti-Flag: Because while bands like The Sounds aren't really great bands, they are at least more fun than most "punk" bands of today, who have become too preachy for their own good.   -Last night, the legendary "Jessie's Song" episode of Saved By The Bell aired on Adult Swim. For those who haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it. It's (unintentional) comedy gold.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

The Revenge of Anus Presley

Tonight's blog is named after a Butthole Surfers song.   -As I mentioned last night, I can't see "Silent Hill" this week. To anyone who has seen it: is it worth seeing? Just wanted to know, as I've been looking forward to this one for a while now.   -Since I've been doing so much homework lately, I've been listening to a lot of music, and I mean a lot of it. Here's the songs that I've been listening to the most lately   .Starflyer 59-Sin For a Season First of all, I refuse to believe that this band is a Christian rock band, because they are way too good to be a Christian rock ban. But they are one (and an indie rock band) but don't go expecting some kind of Creed level bullshit. This stuff is basically Indie Rock (you know, good Indie Rock) with a slight shoegazer influence. This song is a cover of a Steven Taylor song, and it's all kinds of awesome, as well as creepy as hell IMO. You can download it Here. .Butthole Surfers-Lady Sniff I love 80's era Butthole Surfers. This is probably one of their funniest songs, with frontman Gibby Haynes sounding like an old pervert with alzheimer's, ranting about God knows what, while random sounds (including belching farting, and vomiting noises) show up every now and then. .Human League-Empire State Human .Depth Charge-Dead By Dawn .AFX-Phonatacid .Goldfrapp-Slide In (DFA Remix) .EPMD-You're a Customer .Glass Candy-Sugar and White (Vocal Mix) .Booker T and The MG's-Melting Pot .The Finnish Version of the Ducktales Theme (I blame YTMND for this one) .Grand Funk Railroad-Sin's A Good Man's Brother .Swervedriver-Bring Me The Head Of The Fortune Teller .The Pretty things-Don't Bring Me Down .Elvis Costello-Accidents Will Happen .Depeche Mode-I Want It All .Yo La Tengo-No Return (Kinks Cover)    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts

So far, things are doing alright.   -Anyways, yesterday I got the reissues of Chaperhouses Whirlpool and Byrne and Eno's My Life in the Bush of Ghosts. I haven't been able to listen to Whirlpool yet, but I did listen to Ghosts yesterday and today. Simply put, I'm blown away at how awesome it is. It's hard to believe that this was recorded around 79-80, as it sounds very ahead of it's time. Plus, it's catchy (and at times, funky) as hell. I'll have to get Talking Heads Fear of Music after this one, though that won't be until later in the future. Man, I have several CD's I want to purchase right now, including the new ones from The Sounds and Goldfrapp, and some oldies from Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock, and some others who have escaped my mind right now.   -I also finally got to buying the 2-disc special edition of Daio Argento's debut film Bird With The Crystal Plummage today. I'll get to watching it tonight, and I'll let you know how it is.   That's it for now. Next time: Bird With the Crystal Plummage, the Chapterhouse album Whirlpool, and the most underrated comedies of all time.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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How To Vibrate
 

This Post Brought to you by The Oozinator

-Well, I'm pretty busy as of late, which isn't the best way to start out the first entry of May '06. Oh well.   -Has anybody seen the new commercial for the new Super Soaker called "The Oozinator"? If so, I just have to tell you: It scares the shit out of me. The commercial looks like it was made by pedophiles.   -I saw Steve Colbert's ripping on the president on the net last night, and I liked what I saw. The silence in the room (filled with other Republicans) makes it a bit uncomfortable though.   -Last Saturday's "Best Of" SNL episode (Best of TV Funhouse) was awesome. I always loved the TV Funhouse skits, and they had some of my favorites, including the X-Presidents, Fun With Real Audio (The Newscaster one and the MCain one were awesome, as was the Clinton Testimony one), Shazaang!, Cartoons in Black History (My favorite being the all African singing one), "Trapped In The Disney Vault", "Christmas Time For the Jews" The tribute to Charles Schultz...they had almost everything. The only problems were the cutting some of them got, and the Ace and Gary bits were annoying. Oh, and for thouse of you who wish they had the Ray Lewis one, Here's "Ray of Light".   -Now, here's a website for ya: http://www.bangme.net/ . There's some real "winners" here, just to let you know.  
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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How To Vibrate
 

More Bounce To The Ounce

Today's entry brought to you Zapp and Roger. Don't leave home without it!   -Anyways, I'm sure that a lot of people here bought the new Tool album that came out today. It did come out today, didn't it? Just wondering. Anywho, personally, I'm not too interested. Sure, I would have been interested in this back when I was a teenager, but when I turned 21, I finally grew a bit tired of Tool. I don't know wy, but I just did. I'll still have to hear it blaring from speakers in my college, but I will admit, I'd rather hear Tool than that Keisha Cole song "Love". I have to hear that song every fucking day, and I'm sick of it. At least I have Current 93's new album to look forward to later this month. You Tool fans think that five years is a long wait? Try waiting 10 years since David Tibet and co. have released an album of new material.   -I actually enjoyed Raw last night. Not every part of it, but I thought it was good. Highlight of the show was the worked shoot from Joey Styles. Check it out here. Also good was the Kane vs. Conway match, simply for the fact that they made this whole "May 19th" angle a litte enjoyable, or at least for five minutes. Oh, and I still love the Spirit Squad.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Trent Lott's Prostate Exam

-How's it going folks? Not a whole lot going on around here (as usual). Last night though, I couldn't sleep, because there were these obnoxious kids outside at 2:30 in the morning playing with their super soakers and generally making such a racket, I could hear them through my ear plugs. Christ I hate College Freshmen.   -Last night's "South Park" was a major improvement over the previous two episodes. The "Altered States" reference was a great touch (to Family Guy: Quit Refrencing Lucas/Spielberg movies and 80's Pulp Culture, and start referencing obscure cult movies. Then I might watch you again) and the ending made great use of the theme from "The Omen". Also, it pretty much shows viewers once again how dispicable Cartman is.   -Watched "Wolf Creek" and "Event Horizon" last night. Both get 8/10 from me. I'm not getting any more DVD's until "Cemetary Man" hits DVD this June.   -Finally, I'm going to start a countdown to who I think are the most pretentious bands of all time, as well as the most pretentious albums. Anybody have any suggestions?   That's all. The countdown starts tomorrow.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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How To Vibrate
 

The Most Pretentious Bands and Albums: Part 1

Well as I promised, here's the start of my countdown of the most pretentious bands and albums of all time, according to me. Let's get this show on the road.   Consolidated-Here's a doozy, a preachy hip-hop/industrial "marxist" band of pro vegan, anti-capitalist jackoffs who pretty much are the epitomy of preachy, and make Rage Against the Machine look like The Osmonds. The real kicker for the group is their love of the book The Sexual Politics of Meat, a book that pretty much says that if you eat meat, then you hate women and want to rape them. Of course, the band took this to heart, as most of their songs tell you that anyone who eats meat is a rapist. Oh, and if you don't agree with them on their bullshit theories, then you are a fascist (they accuse just about everyone they disagree with fascists) who hates women and is homophobic. Oh, and read the lyrics to the song "Tool and Die", which are so preachy, they would make Lars Van Trier cringe.   Basically, what I'm trying to say is this: There is nothing sadder than hearing obnoxious white dudes rapping about how bad black people have it. Yeah, like they really know anything about the struggles minorities go through in this country. It's practically a fucking minstrel show. I do get some satisfaction though, in the fact that their anti-meat/"feminist" songs are being played at fetish clubs where women are willingly tied up and whipped today. That's irony for ya.   Kiss-Music For The Elder-From what I've heard, even the band themselves are embarrassed of this disaster. I still find it hard to believe that fucking Kiss, probably one of the least pretentious bands of all time, recorded this bloated piece of shit. Just listen to the songs like "The Oddyssey" and "I", and you'll wonder "what the fuck were they thinking". Also, to this day, I still don't know what the fuck the album is about. Could somebody please tell me what the albums concept is?   Burzum-I've mentioned in the past that I hate Burzum, as I've metioned it many a time on this thread. Read all about why I think that Burzum is one of the lamest and most pretentious projects in music history on that thread. Oh, and don't bother responding to Thumbtack, asd he seems to be in a permanent bad mood over there, and I quit arguing with him last week.   Neil Young-Trans-When artists try experimenting with different styles of music, it's a slippery road. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. This album is a perfect example of what happens when it doesn't work. Now I love Neil Young, but damnit, this album is a pretentious mess. Basically, Young decided to experiment with synthesizers and vocorders, and made this album. It's no wonder why it's hard to find in the U.S., except for Imports and on ebay, as it's a bloated disaster, and a real headscratcher as well. This album has split Young fans, with some thinking it's his most daring work. Well, daring doesn't always mean good, if you ask me.   That's all for today. The list continues next time
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

An Invaluable Waste

Well, it's been a while, but I have an answer why: Homework. Oh, and my printer broke this weekend, and I had to get a new one. Basically, I've been having a shitty weekend, whough hopefully, things will get better.   Anyways, here's part two of my list of the most pretentious bands and albums   A Silver Mt. Zion-This one hurts for me, because I actually like this band. That out of the way, I do have to admit that while i love the genre, Post Rock is one of the most pretentious things in music right now. Let's look at the facts: Here's a band that's full of post rock cliched (the crecendos, ridiculous band name, inhumanly long album and song titles) that's a GYBE! side project (there's a lot of these) and this one made it on the list because well, even though there are many similar bands, this one just came to mind. Oh well.   Genesis P. Orridge-When i was Young-Here's a major miss. For those of you who don't know who Genesis is, he's essentially one of the most important figures in industrial music, mostly because he was a member of the first ever indistrial band Throbbing Gristle. After TG split, he formed Psychic TV. After Psychic TV split, he got a sex change. Oh, and released this album For some reason, he thought that doing really short spoken word poetry (repeated over an over ) over bland trip-hop production was a good idea. Well guess again pal. The album is really self indulgent in it's simplicity (never thought you'd hear that one) and is also really, really boring. Not so suprising, it was only released as a limited edition.   Wreckx-N-Effect-Rap's New Generation-Yep, believe it or not, the guys who recorded "Rump Shacker" made it on the list. Why? Well, let me explain:   There are ton's of covers albums out there. While a few of them are good, most of them really suck. However, the worst, and most self important, of these, is WAE's 1996 album Rap's New Generation. Here, the group cover such hip hop classics as "Planet Rock" and "Da Vpours", while paying "tribute" to old school hip hop. However, from the title of the album itself, you can tell that there's a real self importance to the whole thing, and it pretty much shows the world why they were known for "Rump Shaker", and nothing more. And I like the song "Rump Shaker".   Coil-Here's one that really pains me to type. anyways, as you folks know, I love Coil. They are one of industrial and experimental electronic musics most important, and best bands. So, why did they make it on here? Because of two albums-Time Machines and Constant Shallowness Leads to Evil. The former is basically a series of repeated synth drones made to "fascillitate time travel". Translation: take hallucinogens while listening to this. The latter though, is the worst: a tribute to Krautrock bands like Faust and noise rock bands like Butthole Surfers. The Problem? It has none of the odd humor or offbeat fun of those groups., thus making it an unlistenable, sprawling mess.   That's all for now. Next Time: The list comes to an end.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

45

Well, before I finish the list of the most pretentious bands and albums of all time, there's some cool news for you horror fans: Dario Argento Ready to Shot Long Awaited Third Part of his Three Mother Triology This is so fucking cool.   And now, the conclusion to our list   Emerson, Lake, and Palmer-I always hated this band. While I was never big on Progressive Rock (though does Krautrock count, because I love Krautrock), this band always annoyed me. The annoying keyboard solos, the laughable attempts at mixing classical music with rock, the self indulgence, the fact that they actually recorded an albums with a straight face...the list goes on.   Interestingly enough, Keith Emmerson did the score to Dario Argento's "Infrerno", and I actually like that score.   Vanilla Fudge-The Beat Goes On-Your winner in most pretentious album of all time, and one of the worst albums of all time, is this dandy. First of all, some background: VF weren't a bad band. Hell, I always thought that they were underappreciated as far as late 60's/early 70's hard rock bands go. Anyways, in 1969, the band recorded this album It says in it's notes (and I'm not making this up) that the album was inspired by The Beatles, Brahm, Mozart, and...Sonny Bono. Yes, you read that right. The band thought that Sonny fucking Bono was comparable to Mozart.   The concept of the album? The end of the 60's, and various moments in American History. All set to Sonny Bono's "And The Beat Goes On". Oh, and there are covers of songs, including a Beatles song, and several classical tunes. And sample of JFK being announced shot and killed, The announcement that we bombed Japan, and other such things. Oh, and clips of interviews with the band, one member saying "the music industry is so disheartening", as well as horrible free form poetry.   And there you have it folks. ELP are the most pretentious band of all time, and "The Beat Goes On" by Vanilla Fudge is the most pretentious album of all time.   Next time: Back to Regular old Entries.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

lovecraft rates new music

Well, I'm done with my Business Writing Homework (for now at least). So, here's my picks for what I've liked, and what I didn't liked, in music so far.   What I've Liked   Ghostface Killah's Fishscale album-This sucker is the best album of the year so far. I listen to this album every week, and it just keeps getting better.   Gnarls Barkley-From what I've heard, it sounds like another future purchase for me. Plus, it's Cee-Lo and the awesome Dangermouse.   Mono's You Are There album-Another great album. I personally think this is going to be in the top post-rock albums of all time.   The Sounds-Hell yes. Fun, unpretentious rock from Sweden. Plus, it's infectious as hell.   Goldfrapp   The new Prince album.   What I Haven't Liked   The New Revolting Cocks Album-Well, I like the song "Viagra Culture" (How can you not love a song with the line "My Weiner Must Win!"), but other than that, this album is a huge let. It doesn't even sound like a Revolting Cocks album.   RHCP Stadium Arcadium-I've heard it from other people's dorms, and to be honest, I find it a bit disappointing.   Keisha Cole-I'm sick and tired of hearing the song Love, though fortunately, I don't hear it as much as I used to.   Just About Anything Emo. I really can't wait for this whole thing to end.   The Editors-I don't care what anyone says: They are not better than Interpol. Hell, I find them unsatisfactory at best   Artic Monkeys-Am I the only person who isn't creaming their pants over this band? They aren't that good.   [b]Still Waiting For[/b]   The new Current 93 album-Fortunately, it comes out really soon, so the wait won't be long.   That's all for now. Next time: Whatever else come to mind, or something
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Happy Mothers day

Todays Mothers day. I already told my mom happy mothers day, so you don't need to worry about me telling that to my mom. Anyways, happy mothers day to the rest of the moms in the world.   I didn't make Leena's list. Oh well. I'm a bit bored with her anyways.   I wish I had more to say today, but I don't. MAybe I will next time.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

All Hail Chocolate City, and It's Vanilla Suburbs

-Well, the weather around here has really improved, though according to the Weather Channel, it will rain on Thursday.   -Christ, college is really beating me with homework. I've got a second draft of a short story to complete, three reviews of short stories, an essay on a poem, and various other things. That's what you get in the last two weeks of college.   -"The Da Vinci Code" is the #1 movie in America. Maybe I won't have to hear about it all of the time from the news now.   -People in the community I live in are pretty fucking loud right now. I have constantly had to hear yelling cursing, yelling and cursing, and other such things every day and every night, and it's annoying.   -I slept funny two nights ago, so right now, my shoulder is killing me. I can't even walk without feeling a bit of pain.   Gotta go and do more homework. Next time: More complaints and grieviences, and maybe an amusing website.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Rooty Tooty Doo

-Well, I'm done with work for one of my classes. Other than that, it's buisiness as usual over here. It looks like its going to rain.   -I'm not looking forward to X-Men 3. Why? Well, besides the fact that it's directed by the dude who did "Red Dragon" (I hated that movie), it looks like they're trying to put too much from the series into one movie.   -WWE has officially ruined Trish Vs. Mickey thanks to the addition of Beth. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Plus, I knew they were going to ruin it somehow. Also, I'm sick and tired of Umaga. Smackdown already has a dreadful HOSS BY GAWD that can't be stopped, so why does Raw have to? Wait a minute, this is Raw I'm talking about...   At least Smackdowns has had build-up.   -A while back, I promised you a strange link, so here you go: bianca's Fetish Forum. Thanks to Something Awful for providing the link. Anyways, there's some weird shit here, but I think most of it's made up.   That's all for now. Next time: Preperation for finals, the weather, and my Memorial Day visit to my parent's house.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Afghanistanimation

Well, I'm back from my Memorial Day visit home. Nothing notable happened, so here's the uneventful events:   -I finally bought The Sounds Dying To Tell This To You and Skinny Puppy's Last Rights. Both are great, especially The Sounds album. It's not great art, but it's a hell of a lot of fun.   -I watched "Super Troopers". That movie just gets funnier everytime I see it. Come on, how could anybody hate that movie?   -Also Watched "The Decline Of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years", and I liked it. It's a strange mix of depressing (Chris Holms drunk in his mother's pool) and hilarious (I have not seen that many people who dress alike since Highschool Gym). It's a bit suprising seeing that the band named Odin were a hair band, because with a name like that, you would expect something else.   -Didn't watch Raw last night. Was it any good?   -Preparing for finals this week and next week. Also, the weather here is nice, though I don't expect it to last very long.   -It seems like Leena's new avatar has a picture of Jenna Haze. Good choice there.   -Got a sunburn, but not a major one. I also ate a bunch of Peanuts, which lead to many trips to the bathroom.   That's all for now. Next time: The worst movie sequals ever made.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Underrated Horror Movies

There's a ton of horror movies out there, and just like albums, there are ones that don't get as much attention as they deserve. Here are some that I think deserve more attention.   Trauma-Underappreciated movie from Dario Argento. Some say this was the start of his directorial downfall, but I'd disagree (I'd say it's "Phantom of the Opera"). Here, his daughter Asia stars as a bulemic girl who is taken into custody by a concerned cop. Oh, and there's a killer who decapitates his victems with a nifty noose device. Also, cool appearences from the likes of James Russo, Brado Dorrif, and Piper Laurie.   Luther The Geek-No, not a nerd, but a circus geek. Here, a serial killer with a thing for biting necks (who also clucks like a chicken, and has a pair of cool metal dentures) is let out of jail-and terrorizes a mother, her daughter, her boyfriend, and a cop. Goofy, but oddly creepy.   Warning Sign-Before there was "28 Days Later", there was this movie about a virus that infects the workers at a secret lab, turning them into maniacs whose skin is peeling off. The movie also stars Sam ("Law and Order") Waterson and Kathleen Quinlan.   Blood Diner-Weird ass tribute to Hershell Gordon Lewis is one of the strangest horror comedies ever made. This movie deals with brothers trying to reawaken an Egyptian goddess by killing women-and that's just the start. From then on, we get zombies, cool visual gags ("battered girlfriend" is a favorite), and other things.   Street Trash-A wall to wall celebration of bad taste, this sucker has liquor that causes people to melt and explode. Oh, and winos, necrophilia, gang rape, fart jokes, and a game of hot potato with a severed penis.   Body Melt-More body exploding goodness. This time, it's a weight loss supplement. It's really confusing, but it's quit unforgettable, disgusting, and funny.   The Stendhal Syndrome-Another underappreciated Film from Dario Argento. His daughter Asia stars again, this time as a police woman/past rape victim who finds herself slowly going insane while tracking down a serial killer. Interesting fact: When Stuart Gordon saw it, he was so disturbed he had to leave the theatre.   I Drink Your Blood-Here's one kkktookmybabyaway might like: A cult of Charles Manson like hippies/devil worshippers get rabies, and cause havoc on a small town. Full of (poorly done) gore, bad acting, and other things that make 70's exploitation so awsome.   Just Before Dawn-From the director of MST3K "favorite" "Squirm" and the cult favorite "Blue Sunshie" comes this cool little slasher, which mixes "Friday the 13th","Deliverance", and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" into a fun little movie.   Junk-Japanese rip-off of Italian zombie movies is still a blast in my eyes. Plus, it's got a hot naked zombie chick, and a zombie that eats it's own flesh.   That's all for now. Next time: Whatever comes to mind.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

I'll shit the fuck up all over your face.

This entry is dedicated Hotbutter Spoonbuster, aka "TSM's answer to Tourettes Guy".   -Been a busy week, and I'm fucking tired. I haven't had a good night's sleep in a while now.   -I saw the piolet for "Korgoth of Barbaria" on Adult Swim last night, and it it's awesome. It's on again at 10:30 tonight, and I recommend it. Also, the new season of "The Venture Brothers" debuts June 25th.   -The "9/11 Conspiracy Theories" thread on the CE folder is a great big pile of stupid. That's all I have to say about that.   -Finally, my thoughts on Hotbutter Spoonbuster: This guy rules. I don't thinl he has any idea what he's saying, and he spews forth insults and profanity like he's internet celebrity Tourettes Guy. So here's to you HBSB: Don't you ever change.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Rolling Stone Sucks

-To Rolling Stone: Can't you do one issue without complaining about how much you hate Bush? Sure, I hate him too. Hell, I think he's one of the worst presidents we've ever had (not the worst, but one of them), but I don't obsess over the guy like you do. Besides, it's gotten tiresome that you have to have a 5,000+ word essay about why you hate him in every issue. I remember last year, when an article about the Michael Jackson trial became a big rant about Bush. Basically, it's time to hang it up guys.   -Raw really sucked last night. Did we really need to see Vince McMahon's ass again? By the way Vince: The "Kiss My Ass" club was never funny, and it's not even creepy anymore. It's just annoying. Then again, this is Vince I'm talking about...   That out of the way, the bump Lilian Garcia took was fucking nasty.   -Remember folks: One more week until "Cemetary Man" comes out on DVD   -I've been listening to a lot of Led Zeppelin today, and I still think that "Led Zeppelin III" is their best album. Sure, it's not as heavy on the drums as "Physical Graffiti", but I think songwriting wise, it's their best album. Plus, how could anybody hate the song "That's The Way"?   -To Hotbutter Spoonbuster: Why are you so pissed off all the time?   That's all for now. Next time: Depeche Mode albums
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Depeche Mode Albums

Before I start my thoughts on Depeche Mode Albums, I'd just like to say R.I.P. to John Tenta.   Now, on to the reviews. Here they are, reviewed in order of release   -Speak and Spell-Lightweight stuff, and the only album produced by Vince Clark. There's some good tracks ("Photographic" and "Tora! Tora! Tora!" in particular), but for the most part, it's too lightweight.   -A Broken Frame-Underappreciated, though I'm always a sucker for transitional albums. Some tracks are too lightweight ("Meaning of Love" and "See You") but this album is more focused and better sounding, and shows hints of what they would become with "Leave in Silence" and Monumet". Also has experiments with dub reggae that are hit and miss, and "Nothing to Fear" is one of their best instrumentals.   -Constructuon Time Again-A bit of an industrial influence comes in with steel percusion samples and such on tracks like "Pipeline". "Everything Counts" is a classic, while "Shame" and "Love in Itself" are underrated. Songs like "More than a Party" and "The Landscape is Changing" really aren't that good though.   -Some Great Reward-I always thought "Blasphemous Rumors" was overrated, and "Somebady"is cringe inducing. Other than that, this is a good album, with "People are People" and "Master and Servant" would be a big influence on Industrial Dance, and "Something to Do" and "Lie to Me" are great Moody songs.   -Black Celebration-There are experiments in minimalism on some tracks, and they suprisingly work. Most of the album ("Sometimes" sucks though) is great, with a moody feeling that went over with synthpop fans. Not Tonight" is great, and "Stripped" is one of my favorite songs.   -Music For The Masses-Their best album, and a major classic. Everything about it clicks, even the instrumentals. "Never Let Me Down" and "Strangelove" have almost stadium levels of awesomeness, while "To Have and To Hold" creates a great atmosphere. Hell, even the alternate takes on songs and mixes are great.   -Violator-Everyone knows this album, so i won't say anything else.   -Songs of Faith and Devotion-Too inspired by Nine Inch Nails, this one is alright. "Rush" and "Mercy in You" are way too chest thumping, and hardly sound like DM songs. "I Feel You" does feature great use of guitar feedback, and "Walking in My Shoes" has a great, almost trip-hop feeling to it.   -Ultra-Their most underrated album. "Home" is the best Gore-sung song, while "It's no Good" features great synth work. Also, the use of guitars on "Useless" and "Barrel of a Gun" are great.   -Exciter-Their worst studio album. It sounds too much like they're trying to re-create "Violator", and some of the songs just feel like remakes. "I Feel Love" is great though.   -Playing The Angel-"Macrovision" is a shitty song. Other than that, this is a great album. Excellent use of analogue beats, and the songwriting is some of their best yet.   That's all for now. Next Time: Moving out of my dorm.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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Raw like Cocaine straight from Bolivia

-I didn't watch Raw last night (I watched the director's cut of "The Wild Bunch" instead), though from what I've read about it, it's most likely a good thing I missed it.   Also, Edge is the best heel in the WWE right now, bar none. The guy can work up a crowd like nobody else's buisiness, and gets more heel heat than anybody else in the company.   -What happened to Leena? Just a question, but really, what happened to her? Also, Ortonsault will probably hate me, because I don't like Randy Orton.   -I'll say this about Ann Coulter: Fuck her. Fuck that fucking bitch.   -In my last entry, I mentioned my love for the fighting game "Primal Rage", so now, let me mention two I always hated: Beast Wrestle and Rise of the Robots. BW was ridiculously retarded, and was boring to boot. I would talk more about ROTR, but all my complaints about that game have already been said by everyone else.   Well, that's all for now. Next time: Why "The Henry Rollins Show" sucks, and whatever happened to Carnival?
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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A List of Shitty Horror Movies

You know, I've seen a lot of Horror movies in my lifetime. Hell, probably more than I can remember. Anyways, I've seen some good ones, some great ones, some ok ones, some guilty pleasures, and some really horrible ones. Here's a list of some of the really horrible ones.   Strangeland-Dee Snider (Yes, of Twisted Sister fame) produced, wrote, and stars in this shitty S&M and internet themed horror film as Captain Howdy (yes, from "The Exorcist"), a guy who likes to lure teenage girls via chatrooms into his lair, so that he can torture and mutilater them, and who says really pathetic pseudo-intellectual bullshit. Also stars Robert Englund (who you end up seeing spread eagle in his tightie whities), Kevin Gage, and Linda Cardellini as one of Howdy's victims. Yes, you see poor Linda Cardellini tortured and mutilated.   Dario Argento's The Phantom of the Opera-How could Dario Argento fuck this one up? The first in the man's unfortunate decline, this one stars Julian Sands as a disfigured killer raised by rats, who falls for Asia Argento, and kills anynody who harms his rats. In spite of some decent kills, this is a disaster. See Argento's "Opera" instead of this one. Still, it's at least better than the 2004 "Phantom of the Opera"   Manhattan Baby-Some people will tell you that Lucio Fulci is one of the greatest horror director's that ever lived. If you ask me, he's just a guy who got lucky a few times, and directed a whole lot of shitty movies. This one is probably his worst. Basically, archaelogists unleash an evil Egyptian spirit, which possesses the daughter of one of the professors, and murders ensue. A real bore, without any interesting kills, atmosphere, or anything else.   Faust: Love For the Damned-Brian Yuzna has really gone under a decline. This poorly done adaptation of the XXX comic (so, why bother doing it as an R-rated movie?) is horribly acted, corny, and while it has it's moments, is a bore. It also really wastes the talents of Jeffrey Combs and Andrew ("Wishmaster") Divoff. See "Return of the Living Dead 3" instead of this.   Meat Market-I'll never understand the appeal of these dreadful shot on camcorder zombie movies. This movie has lesbian vampires, a luchador, and decent gore effects, yet blows it all on piss poor acting (it's obvious no one in it has had any acting lessons), poor attempts to mimick much better zombie movies, and dreadful attempts at comedy.   From Dusk Till Dawn II: Texas Blood Money-Directed by "Evil Dead" producer Scott Spiegel, this shitfest, in spite of appearences from Bruce Campbell and Danny Trejo, actually manages to be worse than your average Direct-To-Video sequal thanks to bland as hell characters, a disappointing finale, and a waste of talent.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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The Politics of Dancing

The politics of ooo feeling good!   -Raw was a real mixed bag last night. Why are we all the sudden getting this uneeded supply of man ass all the sudden? Oh, that's right: DX is back, only now they're really boring. Also, Randy Orton getting cheered was really weird. Micky James is awesome again, now that Beth is momentarily gone. Eugene has gotten more annoying than usual, and is actually makng me look forward to the imminent destruction Umaga will give him. This amazes me, as I can't stand Umaga.   -About the sand in Kotz's vagina: Kotz is one of my favorite posters here.   -Here's another weird message board I found thanks to Something Awful's Weekend Web: Rob's Fantasy. Here, all your necrophillia dreams can be discussed. All the more proof that abortion isn't as bad as some make it out to be.   -Leena's posting more, which is alright I guess. I wonder why Matt Young isn't posting as much, as he's much more tolerable than wildpegasus.   -I don't know why, but I've been listening to a lot of synth pop lately, and not just Depeche Mode. I also mean Camouflage, Cause & Effect, and all the other one's not many people talk about.   That's all for now. Next time: Shitty Horror Movies that I love
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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Shitty Horror Movies I Love

Here's a list of horror movies that I think aren't really good, but I love them anyway. Basically, if you like your horror movies corny, then I recommend these.   Ghosts of Mars-John Carpenter basically combines two of his movies ("The Fog" and "Assault on Precinct 13") and comes up with this sucker. It's not great by any means, but it has it's charms, such as Ice Cube, Natasha Henstridge (remember her?), Pam Grier, and a villain named "Big Daddy Mars" who looks like a goth rock star.   Lifeforce-Tobe Hooper's biggest budgeted movie still entertains me, in spite of the fact that it's goofy as hell. Basically, it has Space vampires (including a girl who is naked throughout the whole movie) who suck out people's souls, the population of London turning into zombie vampire things, London being destroyed, overacting, and Patrick Stewarts first on screen kiss-which is with Steve Railsback. Also, the first of two Tobe Hopper movies on the list.   Burial Ground-Italian zombie trash is ludicrous fun, with zombies that for some unexplained reason can use weapons, plenty of tits and ass, a creepy midget playing a creepy kid who has a creepy crush on his mother, gore galore, a scientist saying to a zombie "No, I'm your friend!"   Zombie Creeping Flesh (aka "Virus" and "Hell of the Living Dead)-If Ed Wood directed an Italian zombie gore flick, it would be like this. Contains pointless nudity, bad dialogue(ex. "What's eating you?"), tons of jungle stock footage, some decent gore, and a scene with a man in a tutu that's suppossed to be serious.   Mortuary-I reviewed this a while back, but after seeing it a second time, I've grown to sort of like it. In this one, a family of three takes residence in a morgue at Arkham, Mass (if you know of the works of H.P. Lovecraft, you know this is a bad thing), and run into some problems-including a guy called Bobby Fowler, more H.P. Lovecraft references then you can shake a stick at, and a fungus that turns people into zombies.   Zombi 3-Lucio Fulci's sequal to "Zombi 2" is largely hated, but so corny, it's hard for me to hate. This movie deals with a toxin that turns people into zombies, but that's just the beginning. Here, you get zombie birds, slow zombies, fast zombies, a Stevie Wonder gone Ratafarian radio DJ, gore, and best of all-a severed zombie head in a fridge that inexplicably flies out and attacks a guy.   That's all for now. Here's some of what you might find in this blog this summer:   -A look at the year so far -Two book reviews-One of Edward Lee's "The Bighead", and one of Joe Lansdale's "Dead in the West" -The worst Wrestling feuds of all time -overrated horror movies    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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A look at the year so far

Music   We got new albums from: Ghostface Killah (best album of the year so far), Revolting Cocks (a dissapointment), Ministry (also a disappointment) The Sounds (a guilty pleasure to be sure), Current 93 (great album) Pet Shop Boys (good album), Mono, J. Dilla, and others who escape my mind right now.   Songs I don't want to hear anymore: "Ridin' Dirty" by Chamillionaire, "Move Along" by All American Rejects, anything from Hawthourne Heights, "Snap Your Fingers" bu Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boys   Guilty Pleasures-anything from Rhianna, "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Agulaira.   Movies   The WWE released "See No Evil", which I didn't see, and I'm glad I didn't   "X-Men 3" came out. I eventually saw it (I know, after I said I wouldn't) with an open mind, and was still disappointed.   "Superman Returns" came out today and I'll see it on Friday.   "Hostel" disturbed the audience I saw it with, while "Slither" did bad boxoffice sadly, and I still haven't seen "Hard Candy" yet.   Al Gore's documentary about global warming came out to tell us how WE DIDN'T LISTEN!   A remake of "The Omen" came out, and sucked   The internet became even more obsessed with "Snakes on a Plane", and the joke just isn't funny anymore.   TV   "The Shield" kicked all of our asses with how awesome it is.   "South Park" was a mixed bag, with great episodes (Return of Chef, Cartoon Wars, TSST!) and some bad ones (ManBearPig, Smug Alert, A Million Little Fibers).   Adult Swim gave us new episodes of "The Venture Brothers" and "Tom Goes To The Mayor" and the pilot for "Korgoth of Barbaria", which made me happy. They also gave us "Moral Orel" (which tries way too hard) and "Minoriteam"(why?), which didn't make me happy.   Family Guy continued to be a shell of what was once a great show.   Bill O' Reilly became even more obnoxious.   Glenn Beck came in and annoyed me, while Olbermann is becoming too smug, and starting to become a little less amusing.   Henry Rollins got a new show, and it bores me.   The Internet   I gave you folks my blog, and you've been suffering because of it ever since.   Fark just doesn't amuse me anymore. Sure, some of the photoshop contests are cool, but some of the people who post there are total retards.   ytmnd declared war on Scientology.   I got in my first internet argument in my long time on the net with one Red Hot Thumbtack in the eye over the fact that I don't like the band Burzum.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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Popular and unpopular opinions

Here's some opinions some will agree with, and some won't. Remember, these are only opinions.   -I hate it when I hear white guys talk about how hard they have it, and how they think black people are holding them down. To those guys: you will never know what real oppression is.   -Also, to those who complain about black people not getting over the racism of the past and the present: 400 years is a long time.   -Everyone on Late night TV is watchable except for Leno. What does everybody see in this guy?   -When I saw the previews for the moivie "Little Man", I thought "Wow, Hollywood really doesn't know anything about Black People"   -I feel bad for Jon Stewart, because most of his audience is now made up of Che Guvera t-shirt wearing, college fucks who don't know anything about the real world except for whatever bullshit Michael Moore has to say. Oh, and Nader fanboys.   -I'm sick of hearing "Conservative Media" and "Liberal Media". The media is the media. Enough of your persecution complex.   -Kathie Griffin may be one of the most annoying women on Earth.   -Most athiest on the internet are idiots. I'm talking about some of the ones you find on Fark, who seem to think that because they are an athiest, that it gives them the right to be an asshole, and the whole Pastafarian thing. You know what: I don't give a flying fuck that you don't believe in God, ok? Just because you don't doesn't mean that you need to be a jackass to anyone who isn't. Then again, most of the athiests on the internet are high school NOFX fans who are mad that their parents made them go to church. What I'm trying to say is that I feel the same way about athiests that I do about most Christians: If you realize that what you do (or don't) believe does not mean you have to be an asshole, then you on my cool book. ell, I'm friends with several athiests, and they all kick ass.   Oh, and yes, I think that the whole Patafarian thing is stupid. Again it's my opinion. I mean really, it's just a lamer version of the Church of Sub-Genius.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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