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New location, same lame blog

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Slime in the ice machine!

I discovered this morning that the Nazi bastards in charge of our Internet firewalls here have suddenly decided to block YouTube. Sons of bitches.   ----------------------------------   Local TV news legend Marvin Zindler died yesterday from inoperative pancreatic cancer. He’s best known nationally for being the reporter that led the drive to have the Chicken Ranch shut down back in the 70’s, but I’ll always have a soft spot for ol’ Marvin because of his weekly reports on which restaurants around town got busted for health code violations. My brother and I used to watch those with my grandpa when we were kids and would all shout his trademark “SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME IN THE ICE MACHINE!” line along with him at the end of each one. Even now, as someone who rarely watches TV news (outside of local weather/traffic in the morning), I always tried to make sure and tune in for that just so I could hear Marvin deliver that line. Good times.   RIP, Marvin.   ----------------------------------   Kroger has this promotion where they offer you $0.10 off per gallon of gas (for one fill-up) for every $100 worth of groceries/stuff you buy each month. So yesterday I went to do the weekly Sunday shopping where I pick up the things I need to put together the lunches I bring to work with me everyday. Upon handing me my receipt, the stupid kid running the register noticed that I had accumulated $94 of the next $100. Maybe I was just in a bad mood (likely, since my house was full of in-laws that had shown no signs of leaving any time soon) or he was just new at his first job and was a tad overeager, but this just irritated the hell out of me:   Him: "Look at that. You only need six more dollars to get ten cents off your gas purchase."   Me (indifferent): "Oh, yeah. How about that."   Him: "You want me to hold your spot in line so you can go get some more stuff?"   Me: "For what?"   Him: "So you can get to $100."   Me: "Why would I do that?"   Him: "So you can save money when you fill up!"   ...   Him: "Don't you want to save 10 cents on your gas?"   Me: "Not if I have to buy $6 worth of crap I don't need to get it."   Him: "But you'll save WAY more than that when you fill up."   Me: "How? I only buy maybe 20 gallons each time I fill up. That's only like $2 saved; how does that get to $6?"   Him (thinking): "Hmm...I guess it doesn't."   Me (shoving receipt in pocket): "Nope. Can I go now?"   Him: "Have a nice day, sir."  
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

A busy few days

Whew. It’s been a busy few days with precious little time for goofing around on the Internet. All the blame for that goes to married life. I’m quite certain nobody missed me here but here’s the recap nevertheless...   So last Friday, at 5:15 in the morning, my wife was in the shower when the phone rang. I glanced at the caller ID and both the caller name and phone number were showing as “Private.” Now, normally, such calls get either ignored or hung up on within two seconds because it’s usually somebody peddling some crap, but I picked it up thinking it could actually be an emergency since we don’t get many calls at any time of the day, much less at five in the morning.   “Hello? *Silence* “Hello? If you say nothing in two more seconds, I’m hanging up.” Female voice I do not recognize, “Hi, Jack?” (not my real name) “Uh, yeah? Who’s this?” “It’s me.” … “Who?” “You don’t know who this is?” “No, ‘fraid not.” “You don’t recognize my voice?” “No, I have no idea who you are.” … “You really don’t know who this is?” “No, I don’t.” “Oh. Well, fuck you then.” *Click*   Whatever. I still don’t know who that was. I’m gonna guess that it’s someone who was looking for someone with the same name as I and just picked the wrong guy out of the phone book since I would remember her if it was someone from my past. Could just be some prankster looking for a mark at five in the morning, I don’t know. Whoever it was, I’m just glad my wife didn’t answer the phone because that would have been an endless three-hour cycle of interrogation/denial of charges that I didn’t need.   -------------------------------   So what was I doing to keep me busy this weekend? Moving furniture! My wife’s company was bought recently and her office was moved to the west side of town a couple of months back. The new company only wanted the people to move to the new office so they left all of the office fixtures and furnishings behind in the old building, on which the lease isn’t up for like two more years. A few workers (including my wife) asked what was going to be done with the old furniture and, after being told whatever was left over was going to be sold wholesale to whomever wanted it (without an inventory of it taken), it was let known that they could take whatever they wanted as long as it was done very discreetly and the building was not left barren.   So my wife acquired a key and badge for the old building with the idea being that she and I would go up later Friday evening and quickly take as many bookcases as we could get in one truckload for us to use as desperately needed shelving in our garage. The problem came in when she told her family of our plan; their insistence that they come along and get some stuff for their own houses (they NEVER pass up free stuff—no matter how crappy that free stuff might be) coupled with my wife’s inability to ever tell her family no led to ten hours of moving fun (spread over two days) that left me and my brother-in-law sore from lifting all that shit as we were the only two physically capable of carrying it.   Thus, our original plan of “four or five bookcases” for our own house turned into six bookcases and a heavy-ass desk for our place (don’t ask), five bookcases, another heavy-ass desk, and a credenza for my sister-in-law’s house, and seven more bookcases and a table for my wife’s parents. Christ.   -------------------------------   I bought a new mp3 player on Saturday morning as my old, faithful one of nearly three years gave up the ghost late last week. I settled on this one after a bit of searching. Now, I know lots of people say avoid Creative products like the plague but fuck them. My first one lasted almost three years with heavy use/abuse; that earns Creative my business again.   -------------------------------   Barry Bonds tied Hank Aaron at 755 with a home rum off Clay Hensley in 2nd inning last Saturday night in San Diego. I’d been taking advantage of my Extra Innings package and recording every Giants game last week hoping to catch the record-tying/setting homers. The one night I didn’t set the TV to record? Saturday. Oh well. I’ll get #756, which is the one that really matters.   -------------------------------   Saw The Bourne Ultimatum last night. I absolutely love the first two Bourne movies and was not disappointed with this one. Nice, tight story, great action, and an awesome villain makes me very happy. The shaky camera thing everyone is bitching about is noticeable but didn’t bother me too much; certainly not enough to damped my experience anyway. ****, though you should probably watch the first two if you haven’t seen them yet or you risk being a little confused at a few points in the plot.   -------------------------------   I’m going to the Cubs/Astros game at Minute Maid tonight. Pitching match-up is Rich Hill v. Wandy Rodriguez. Normally, my presence would be bad news for the Cubs as I’ve only seen them win once at MMP, but I don’t think even my jinx can stop them from losing to the shitty Astros.   Or at least I hope not…
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Presidential travel troubles

So it looks like Kucinich is out of the Presidential race. And I was so sure that this was his year, too...   On a related note, during an endless, boring day of "online training" at work last week, I was scanning TSM and noticed a thread called "A Presidential Quiz" on the main forum page under 'last post info' in the CE folder. Thinking this would be a fun little way to test my knowledge of our Chief Executives and/or kill some time, I stepped into the abyss and clicked the link. What did I find? This page, which isn't really a "Presidential quiz" at all.   The results of said quiz and the guy (and I say "guy" because Hillary has no chance) who should get my vote for President this year?   That's fitting--that result is pretty much a perfect summary of how I feel about the Republican field this year.   Incidentally, my "top Dem" was Obama. Of course, when the alternative is Edwards, Hillary, Kucinich, etc., well, that's not really saying much.   ------------------------------   So kkk was forced to get out and about amongst the flying public last week. Reading his entry caused me to reflect on some of my recent air travel experiences. Allow me to reminisce for a moment...   Christmas Day 2007: On our flight home from Kansas City, sfaJill and I witness a guy a few rows in front of us have a mini-meltdown because his GIANT WINTER COAT wouldn't fit in the overhead bin and the flight attendant told him he would have to either check it or hold it in his lap.   April 2007: Moments before our honeymoon flight to Orlando was supposed to take off, we were told that there would be a "slight delay" because some light came on in the cockpit and maintenance had to come check it out. Two hours later, we're still sitting there. And this is after being told that it was not a safety issue and that the problem could be fixed upon landing in Orlando but "someone downtown" wanted to fix it now. So...yea. By the time it was fixed, the later 7:30 flight to Orlando had arrived just prior to our 4:00 flight...   August 2007: On our way to Boston, I am the fortunate winner of the "have a screaming 3-year-old sit in his mom's lap in the seat behind you" sweepstakes. That little bastard was relentless. Three solid hours of whining and crying, all the while his mom just sat there saying "Shhhh!" When we were over Tennessee, I couldn't take it anymore and resorted to the childish act of putting my seat back just to make their flight a little more cramped. Not one of my better moments, I'll admit...   August 2006: Another friend and I are going to Chicago for the weekend. The plane is taxiing down the runway when it suddenly comes to a complete stop. Pilot comes on and says that there is some "congestion" on the runway and that we are 33rd in line to take off, so it will be a while.   What he didn't mention was that it would be an hour and a half and that they would be shutting the engines off while we waited. On an August afternoon. In Houston. Hot times in Texas!   January 2007: I was in Amsterdam waiting to catch my connecting flight to Cairo that was supposed to depart at 8:45 p.m. The weather outside was horrible; winds are blowing ridiculously hard and it's about 35 degrees. I'm tired--I'd arrived from Houston at 7:30 local time that morning and had only slept three hours since waking up in Houston the day before (I can't sleep on planes). 8:45 passes with no call for us to even board the plane. Another hour...then another. All of this time in the terminal is made worse by the fact that all the restaurants/shops closed around 9:30 so I couldn't even walk around and look at anything. Finally, just before midnight we are ready to go.   Wrong.   We had barely pulled away from the gate when the pilot announces that we've got a flat tire and can't take off with that. It will be "10 minutes" to fix it. Five minutes later, he comes back on and says that there's actually two flat tires and it will be more like "one hour" before we are ready to go. Finally, just past 1 in the morning, we depart--a few minutes after we were already supposed to have arrived in Cairo.   I was uncomfortable, tired and very annoyed to say the least (how could no one notice TWO flat tires when they're doing all their loading/inspections of the planes in preparation for our flight??). Even the hot Dutch girl in the seat next to me wasn't enough to distract me and boost my spirits. I felt bad for the driver waiting to pick me up in Cairo though--he had to wait an extra five hours for me.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Eddie Griffin can't read

Former Rocket Eddie Griffin was killed in a car-train accident last week.   Anyone who followed Eddie Griffin knew he was headed for an early death, though I figured it would have been from a gunshot. At least he wasn't watching porn and masturbating when he ran into the train.   One question does come to mind though: if his body was so badly burned that it took dental records to identify him, then how can there be a toxicology report? Wouldn't all of that evidence be destoryed in the fire? Someone who watches one of those 20 different CSI shows help a brotha out....   -----------------------------   Here's a shock: Americans don't read. Personally, I think I read 4 or 5 books last year, which I guess puts me about average. In my youth, I read a lot more than I do now (most of the Hardy Boys books, for instance), but reading hasn't appealed to me much since I was forced to ead way too many uninteresting books in college. I just got burned out in those years and haven't ever felt the urge to start reading again.   Well, except for the Internet. The Internet is always fascinating. I'm sure the amount of time I've wasted just at TSM alone over the years is enough to put me in the "avid reader" category. If this sort of crap counted. Sadly, it's gotten me nothing but weird looks from my girlfriend/fiance/wife when she asks what I'm reading and I respond "a pro wrestling messageboard on the Internet."   At least the headline wasn't "1 in 4 Adults CAN'T Read". Yet. I'm sure if we give the Democrats enough time to fuck up public education we'll get there eventually. Although, to be fair, W. and his gang haven't done much better in that regard.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Sports happenings

Today could be really historic in Major League Baseball as there is the possibility of three huge milestones being reached on the same day:   - Barroid ties Hank Aaron at 755 - Alex Rodriguez reaches 500 home runs faster than anyone in history - Tom Glavine gets his 300th win   I won’t bore anybody with my opinion on Bonds and his pursuit of the record because, frankly, there isn’t anything I can say that hasn’t already been said. He cheated, he knows it, we all know it…that’s it. No matter how disgraceful it might be, there will be no asterisk next to his name or any erasing of his statistics so getting too morally outraged over it seems pointless to me.   Instead, I’ll set my DVR to record the Giants/Dodgers game tonight because, as a baseball fan, I want to see history. The potential theatrics of Bonds not only finally tying Aaron but doing it in LA against the Dodgers where the crowd will be ridiculously hostile should be fantastic. I only wish the game didn’t start at 9:10 CDT tonight because, unless Bonds hits it in the first inning, I probably won’t get to see it live. You’d think that MLB would bump the start of the game up an hour so that a few more of their fans in the eastern and central parts of the country would get to see it, but the baseball powers that be aren’t known for making great decisions very often.   ------------------------------   Bill Walsh died yesterday. I didn’t really get into football until I was about 10 years old, so his great 49er teams were a little before my time but his impact on the NFL was tremendous. Not that I would have been a fan since ours was and is a Dallas Cowboys house, but I can’t deny how the game evolved because of him.   RIP Bill, but I’ll always wonder what would have happened if the Cowboys had had 30 more seconds in that 1982 NFC Championship game. They were at midfield and driving when time ran out as it was. 30 more seconds and I’m thinking they win and we don’t have to suffer through endless highlights of “The Catch” to this day…   ------------------------------   Finally, it looks like Kevin Garnett has been traded to the Celtics for a bunch of guys. The only NBA teams I pay any attention to are (in order) the Rockets, Spurs, and Mavericks so I have no idea if it’s a good trade or even who any of the players Minnesota got in return are. However, I hope it works out for Boston. I’ve always felt bad for Garnett because he’s been a great, selfless player stuck on some shitty teams in Minnesota for most of the last 12 years. I want to see him get another shot at winning big and, if this trade works out, he should have that shot. Good luck KG, and go Celtics.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Birthday crap, Redball's staying

My birthday is a week from today. Hooray. I really haven't cared about my birthday much since I was 18. So last night while watching TV, this conversation happens. I'm sure you can guess who's who:   "What do you want to do for your birthday?"   "I don't know."   "Oh, come on. There's got to be something you want to do."   "I might take the day off work, I guess."   "That's it? You don't want to go eat or do something fun?"   "Like what?"   "I don't know! You decide. It's your birthday!"   "I'll think it over."   *two minutes later*   "Ok, well, what do you WANT for your birthday? I have no idea what to get you."   "Nothing." (note: with sfaJill, 'nothing' is never an acceptable answer to this question)   "What if I got you a pair of fuzzy pink slippers then? You'd be ok with that?"   "Only if you think I really need a pair of fuzzy pink slippers..."   "Well, if you don't tell me what you want, you just might get some then."   "Did you see that Circuit City is offering 36 months of no interest financing on all TV's $999 and up?"   "No. So what?"   "So there you go. That's what I want."   *she thinks this over for moment*   "You want me to buy you a big TV for your birthday?"   "Yes."   "Hmfph. Good luck with that one."   Ah, wedded bliss...   ---------------------   Jason Garrett has apparently turned down both the Falcons and Ravens head coaching jobs and will stay on as Offensive Coordinator in Dallas for at least one more year. Good. After four years of Bill Parcells's conservative style and the overall futility of the offense the five years before that, it was refreshing to see Redball (as he's affectionately known) open the playbook wide open and actually use all of the weapons available to him.   Sure he didn't run the ball enough at times and apparently went insane in the fourth quarter of this last Sunday's loss to the Giants (calling a 65-yard bomb into triple coverage on 3rd & 20 from your own 40 with just over 4 minutes to go when you must score a touchdown and then sending everyone into the endzone against a dime defense on 4th & 11 instead of having one guy run underneath the defense and get the first down when you still had time to spike the ball and run at least one play into the endzone before the game ended is the definition of insanity), but there aren't too many guys I'd rather have running the Cowboys' offense for the near future than Garrett. Good move, Jerry Jones.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Lightning Crashes and the Hurricane Dean watch is on

So, uh, yesterday the rain from tropical depression Erin hit much of south and central Texas with lots of rain, including us good folks here in Houston. Dozens of surface roads, underpasses, and even one of the freeways (Hwy 288) were closed due to high water all around. A couple hundred idiots who should know by now not to drive through the water when you can't see the road beneath were forced to abandon their cars. Poor people all around town ended up at the shelters and ended up on the news crying for help because they got a little bit of water in their yards. One homeless lady stuck under a bridge did have to be rescued though. That's not good.   But forget all that flooding and shit. The highlight of the day for me, easily, was around 11:30 yesterday morning. That's when we heard a somewhat loud boom outside the building here and then...THE LIGHTS WENT OUT. All around the office, printers stopped spitting out paper, desk radios that had been turned up to unreasonable volumes were silent, and computer screens went blank, depriving dozens of workers of the porn they were looking at. A lightning strike had hit a transformer in the area and blown the power to the whole area. It was pandemonium.   Or not. Actually, other than a few "Oh my Gods!" from a few of the more exciteable folks around here, it was pretty calm. Most of the people here spent the next 2 hours gathered out by the elevators, bonding over awkward conversation and a round of singing by a few of our more shameless co-workers under the soft glow of emergency lighting. Me? I stretched out in the two chairs in my cube and took a nap. Why go out there and hang with them when I can catch a few winks?   After a couple of hours of having us just sit around in the dark with nothing to do, management sent us home for the day since they were told we'd have no power for "several more hours" by the light company. I'm sure the lost productivity killed them, but what choice did they have?   So I braved the rain and made it home in time to squeeze in a couple games of Madden 08 before the wife arrived home and killed the fun. Oh well. It was a good day while it lasted.   The bad news is that the real fun has just begun. Hurricane Dean is projected to enter the Gulf of Mexico early next week and make landfall anywhere from the Yucatan Peninsula to Houston. Of course, despite there being several hundred miles between those two points, the news crews have already started "gather up all your valuable shit, go into the closet nearest the center of your house, and duck and cover your head because Dean is going to be our armageddon" mode. Sigh. We'll see what actually happens. I'm not worried; George Bush has his ranch here so he wouldn't let us get destroyed, would he?
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

The NBA: it's a lot like al-Qaeda...or not

I am what you could call, at best, a casual fan of the NBA and/or the Houston Rockets, but two little news items have caught my eye today.   First, Stevie Franchise is coming home. I’m ecstatic. With this news, all the fond memories of watching him fire up absurd 3’s, dribble out the clock without getting off a good shot, and turn the ball over at every inopportune moment, all while leading the team to the playoffs (and losing in the 1st round) exactly once in five seasons came flooding back into my mind. Oh, how we’re all on the edge of our seats here, watching, waiting for Stevie to return with his hero’s cape on to lead the Rockets back to the promised land.   Or not.   What are the Rockets thinking? Yeah, he’s a talent and is relatively cheap ($2.4 mil for the first year), but this is the same guy couldn’t share the ball with Cuttino Mobley and Yao before. And now you want him to take a background role behind T-Mac, Yao, and Mike James?? Really? Doesn’t make much sense to me.   ---------------------   The bigger story of the day is the news that the feds apparently have uncovered a referee’s involvement in the gambling on and fixing of NBA games.   It’ll be interesting to see the fallout from this, though anybody who watched the Lakers/Kings series in 2002 knows the league’s been fixing games for years. Har har…   ---------------------   10 years? Why isn’t this guy already strapped to the gurney, arm exposed, with the needle at the ready?    
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

PC Santas, raining on our moving parade

Well, at least this latest example of ridiculous PC bullshit isn't happening in America.   Yet.   Link     -----------------------------   So how did the second part of helping my brother move go this past weekend?   Since the heavy furniture was already gone, it was mostly boxes left to move. Boxes are always easier, especially when you have the help of a dolly. There was a still a little too much disorganization, in that the kitchen hadn't been packed at all and the few remaining furniture pieces still had stuff in them and thus couldn't be moved without having to be cleaned out first, but, to my great surprise, it was a pretty easy day.   Well, unless you factor in these events:   - sfaJill wanting to kill my sister-in-law, who, for the second week in a row, perfected the art of sitting on her ass doing nothing all day (using the excuse of "I'm watching the kid") while sfaJill packed box after box of crap in the kitchen. (Note: sfaJill found no less than NINE crock pots in the one cabinet).   - Despite a few menacing clouds earlier in the morning, the rain held off and the sky cleared...right until brother and I were making a run to the storage unit to drop off the first load of crap. At that point the heavens opened completely, dumping an insane amount of rain on us for 5-10 minutes. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, except for the fact that we hadn't covered anything (because there were no rain clouds at the house!), so every box and piece of furniture we had packed was left completely soaked. Among the wreckage was the queen sized pillowtop mattress they paid $700 for just last year...   - I got into a fender bender on the drive over Saturday morning, leaving my truck with a busted turn signal and an estimate of $2,500 to replace the bumper and fix the dent in the hood. Fucking people who don't use turn signals...
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

MLB Playoff Predictions

What a game last night between the Rockies and Padres to decide the NL wild card. I missed the ending because my need to get some sleep before work today forced me to go to bed...after the 12th inning (of course!). Another 15 minutes or so and I would have seen one hell of an ending.   Nevertheless, here are my official, non-scientific, mostly off-the-top-of-my-head picks for the MLB playoffs. I normally don't do these but since the Cubbies are in this year, I figure what the hell. Feel free to mock when I'm wrong about every single series:   NATIONAL LEAGUE:   NLDS: Chicago Cubs v. Arizona Diamondbacks The Cubs have the NL's best record since June and possibly the strongest rotation of any NL playoff team. Arizona's success this year is a mystery; 14th in the league in runs scored and a -20 run differential for the year really shouldn't translate to 90 wins, but here they are. The Dbacks bullpen is solid, partly evidenced by their exceptional record in 1-run games. The Dbacks also won the season series 4-2. What does all of that mean? I don't know. You could dig up all the stats in the world to show why Arizona is better than the Cubs and it wouldn't stop me from picking the CUBS in 4.   NLDS: Colorado Rockies v. Philadelphia Phillies The Rockies' rotation and bullpen is better than most people think and they're carrying a ton of momentum into the playoffs, having finished the season on a 14-1 roll. The Phillies squeaked past the Mets to get in (yeah!) and also bring a lot of momentum into the playoffs, finishing on a 16-7 roll themselves. Does season-ending momentum matter in the playoffs? Not really (see: Tigers v. Cardinals, 2006 World Series). What matters here is that these two teams led the National League in runs scored for the season and are capable of putting double-digits on the board at any time. However, given that the Rockies' bullpen does not completely suck, I'm going to pick the ROCKIES in 5.   NLCS: Colorado Rockies v. Chicago Cubs CUBS in 6     AMERICAN LEAGUE:   ALDS: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v. Boston Red Sox The Angels posted the best home record in all of baseball. Unfortunately, they don't have home field in this series, so who cares? Angels were 4th in the league in runs scored (822), just behind Boston (867). Angels finished 5th in the league in team ERA; Boston was 1st. The Angels have Vlad Guerrero and Garrett Anderson; Boston trumps them with Manny Ramirez/David Ortiz. Mike Scioscia's a better manager than Terry Francona but the Angels' lack of a high-priced, Japanese hired gun hurts them. But at least they have the "good" Weaver brother. On a bright note, the Angels did average nearly 5,000 more asses in the seats per game this season--that has to count for something other than extra bucks in the owner's pockets, right? Wrong. The Rally Monkey's gonna have to work some overtime. RED SOX in 5.   ALDS: New York Yankees v. Cleveland Indians Too bad the Indians blew their chance at having the AL's best record; the chance to possibly start C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona twice each in this series would really help them knock the EVIL~! Yankees out of this race and spare us all the horror of watching yet another Yankees/Red Sox ALCS. Instead, we'll have to hope that the Tribe can hold down the Yankees' vaunted offense long enough to take advantage of NY's mediocre pitching, featuring a washed-up Roger Clemens in Game 3, and win a few games. Cleveland's 0-6 mark against the Yankees this year would suggest that might be asking a bit much, but I'll pick them anyway because I'm sick of the Yankees and want them out of the way as soon as possible. INDIANS in 5.   ALCS: Cleveland Indians v. Boston Red Sox INDIANS in 7     WORLD SERIES: Chicago Cubs v. Cleveland Indians Nothing against the Indians, but I pick the Cubs to win the Series every year. Chicago Cubs in 5.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Dirty old man

A semi-humorous bit from this morning. I have to admit, occasionally, the people here can bring some entertainment.   There's this older guy here at the office that, according to a couple of my female coworkers, is a dirty old man. About the only things I know about him are, his name, the fact that he's worked here for over 30 years, and that his daughter just squirted out another kid (I know this because they had a cake party here to honor that glorious occassion a few months back). I really only speak to him when we exchange greetings when passing each other in the halls, so I've never seen this dirty side of him, but whatever.   So I'm at the copy machine this morning when he walks in. After exchanging our usual greeting, he starts this off:   "Man, sometimes I wish I was 25 again." "Really? Why's that?" "Have you seen that new chick in Billing? Lauren?" "Yeah, I've seen her." "She was over here earlier, getting water. Doing something with these people over here. Man...WOW."   (NOTE: Lauren is not that hot. There's nothing wrong with her, but she's not even close to being the hottest chick at this place.)   I continued: "She always looks angry to me. Like she'd be a total bitch about everything." "Yeah. But don't you think that's kind of hot?" "Depends." "Well, either way, I'd like to get some of that anger out of her. I know that." "Uh huh..." "You know what I mean, right?" *sighing* "Of course." "So yeah...you know."   I guess his reputation is well-earned.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Trick or treat!

Halloween has come and gone again. Yea, I guess. I haven't been excited about Halloween for at least 15 years. sfaJill, however, is a BIG Halloween fan and really enjoys putting on a costume and greeting all the little monsters that knock on the door. Consequently, I spent half this last weekend helping decorate the front porch in a spider theme (i.e. cobweb, black lights, some glow-in-the-dark wall covering, etc) and standing in the candy section at Wal-Mart waiting for her to decide which is the best kind of candy to buy (my argument: who gives a shit? It's free; if the kids want to bitch about free candy, they don't have to come back next year).   Last night, sfaJill handled 95% of the trick-or-treat duty, meaning I bothered to get up out of my chair only two or three times when there was a knock at the door. Of course, after having a few kids walk right past our house without stopping, sfaJill was convinced that they didn't know we were offering candy (because, according to her, the house wasn't all lit up like a Christmas tree so it didn't look inviting and/or because there was nobody sitting outside waiting with a big dish of candy like many of the neighbors were) and decided to setup a camp on the front porch so that nobody would miss our house.   Since I had no interest in sitting outside getting bit by bugs, I retreated to my office in the house and popped in Freddy vs. Jason (yeah, I know it's a crappy movie, but I just chose a slasher at random) and waited for the end of the night. It was nearly 9:00 before she declared the night to be over and came in. I'm told Spiderman was the most popular boys' costume and Disney princesses were the most popular for girls. Sounds about right, but I'm disappointed nobody decked their kid out in this.   It's weird; every year I always hear a few folks lamenting how trick-or-treating is a dying tradition. I don't buy it. After a slow start, there were so many kids running through our neighborhood that it looked like a locust plague. I don't know. Maybe our neighborhood is the exception to the rule.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Putting swimsuit models on blast

Because sfaJill has moved into the next phase of our her home renovation process--a phase that requires us to buy all new towels for our bathroom (in colors that are almost exactly the same as what we currently have)--we spent yesterday morning at JC Penney. They were having a Veterans' Sale and, between that sale and the coupons we'd saved, we could get these towels at just more than 50% off. Score.   The highlight of the trip for me came later though, when we stopped in at Barnes & Noble to browse around for a bit. I was thumbing through some book about the Cowboys on the bargain table; sfaJill walked over, curious about what I was reading, when she noticed that on the table next to the Cowboys book was the Sports Illustrated "painted on" swimsuit book. No joking--she picked it up and spent the next 20 minutes dissecting each picture inside with such constructive remarks as "Oh, God how slutty is she?" and "Whore" and "Wow, look at that--another nipple!"   I have no idea if she did it solely for my benefit or not (I suspect not--she's very much the jealous type), but it was fucking hilarious.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Scrap Iron to the scrap heap; I'm going on vacation!

So the Astros fired both Phil Garner and general manager Tim Purpura earlier this week. Cecil Cooper took over managerial duties last night but fared no better as the Cardinals beat down the Astros 7-0.   Most people here were caught by surprise--not because they got fired, but rather because it happened at such an odd point in the season. Personally, I don't see much use in letting them go with only 31 games left in what is a lost season, but since Drayton McLane does what Drayton McLane wants to do, they are gone.   That leaves the question of what happens now. The Astros are a horrible team with few big time prospects ready to go in the minors. There is very little reason to think that they're suddenly going to return to contention next year with or without Garner and/or Purpura so, really, it seems to be an empty move. I guess they did it so they can tell their fans "See! We're doing something about it!", but until they commit to no longer trotting out mediocre (at best) talents like Adam Everett, Brad Ausmus, Luke Scott, etc., their bottom-dwelling days likely aren't over.   Then again the Astros are only 3-9 against the Pirates this year. That fact alone is probably enough to get anyone fired.   ---------------------   Rafer Alston isn't handling his transition to the unemployment line very well.     A pro athlete got arrested after an altercation at a night club? I'm shocked. At least there wasn't any gun play involved. I think the rule states there has to be a strip club involved before you can open fire though.   ---------------------   The wife and I leave tomorrow morning for a long weekend in Boston. I'm excited. For one, it means we're getting the hell out of this town for a few days. Secondly, the furthest I've ever traveled north and east in this country is Washington D.C., so this will be new territory for me.   I'm sure we'll hit a lot of the touristy shit that everyone does, like the Cheers bar, that Freedom Trail, Paul Revere's old house, etc., along with soaking up the sights and sounds of a new city. Plus she wants to go on a whale-watching harbor tour. That should be a nice six hours of my life. And I'll probably have to get on one of those swan boats. I don't know.   The highlight for me though will be the Red Sox and Orioles game on Sunday at Fenway Park. Fenway will be the eighth different MLB park I've been to and has always been #2 on my list of parks I've most wanted to visit. Our seats are in the Loge box (section 137) which should give a good view. Dice-K is scheduled to pitch for the Sox, so that's a nice bonus. Daniel Cabrera is supposed to throw for the O's; I wish it was Erik Bedard instead, but we rarely get everything we want in life.   The worst part about this vacation thing is getting through today. I have a BAD case of vacation-itis and totally don't care about any of the work on my desk today. It's only 9:10 and I'm already dying to go home. Maybe I'll take the afternoon off...  
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

The NFL v. Comcast

Oh, yes. This is EXACTLY the sort of stuff I love to see the Texas Legislature get involved with...   Link     I have Comcast. I can get NFL Network if I want. I choose not to. Why? Because I don't think it's worth paying $7.95 a month for what amounts to eight (mostly crappy) regular season games and expanded combine/draft coverage (something we already get enough of thanks to ESPN and the bajillion draft websites that exist).   Would I watch the NFL Network if it were on basic cable? Yeah, probably, at least from time to time. Do I want the cable companies to be forced to put NFL Network on their basic packages, thus causing my cable bill to go up a couple of dollars a month? Hell no. Do the thousands of people that have no interest in the NFL at all want to pay that extra couple dollars a month? Definitely not.   There is no way that Comcast and their money-grubbing brethren should be forced to carry the NFL Network on their basic package. Not when the NFL wants an insane $0.70 per subscriber from the cable companies (more than CNN charges) that would just raise everyone's rates, and definitely not when there is no overwhelming public demand for the NFL Network. If that tide shifts one day and the public is suddenly in favor of the NFL Network being widely available, sure, bring it on. Until that happens though, keep the NFL Network exactly where it is. As with nearly everything else in this country, the market will dictate what should happen. Certainly there shouldn't be any legislation on this under any circumstance.
sfaJack

sfaJack

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