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Bed bugs and birthdays

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sfaJack

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So I was rudely awakened a little past 4:30 this morning by my wife (who NEVER wakes up before me) suddenly turning on the overhead light in our bedroom and yanking most of the covers off of the bed. Her reason? She thought she felt a bug crawl across her leg, freaked out, and felt the need to find and destroy said bug.

 

After a couple of moments of frantic searching for the bug and a few incoherent ‘what the FUCK are you doing??’ grumblings from me, she gave up, turned off the light, and went to take her shower telling me, “Just go back to sleep, honey.”

 

What the fuck ever. There was no way I was getting back to sleep after that.

 

My alarm goes off at 5 a.m. anyway so it’s not like I lost a lot of sleeping time...but still. She’s got to be kidding.

 

I blame my being (according to a coworker) “more grumpy than usual” today on this incident.

 

--------------------------------

 

Speaking of my wife, her birthday was yesterday. I got her a sappy card, one of those chocolate chip cookie cakes, and a couple of necklaces. She was thrilled with all of it, which was good. Despite her being relatively easy to please with gifts, I'm always nervous whenever I give her anything. That's probably because I never EVER want to relive the time I prepaid three months worth of a gym membership as a "bonus" gift for a birthday of hers a few years back. Even though she'd been mentioning a couple months prior that she wanted to start working out again that was a HUGE mistake that I paid a hefty price for.

 

Still have horrible memories of that fight to this very day...

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You should have known better than the gym membership. Any guy knows that if you're going to go down this route you say, "Honey, how about we both start going to the gym?"

 

Either that or make the bitch pay for it herself.

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Yeah, I know. I have no idea why I got the gym membership. I think I rationalized by saying "well she's been wanting to work out so it's ok". Combine that with the fact that I was REALLY an idiot when it came to women back in those days and there you go.

 

Not that I am much better with women these days. But at least I've learned a few more lessons.

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