kkktookmybabyaway

For the first time in recent memory, I have nothing more to say.

Who knows. Always fear the power of the State. The better half told me of another local government fuck-up involving street lights.

And you think that the federal government will care?

Where did everybody go? 8:30 p.m. • So here's some local stuff that's going on in my redneck of the woods. Now there's a bunch of blahblahblah to this article, but the last two paragraphs caught my attention. "Fairness." Interesting. You see, in this same county there is some road construction going on due to some hippie EPA order. This construction is going on along a patch of road that's home to a bunch of local businesses, who are understandably pissed off about the whole thing. "No need to worry," the politicians said, "this construction won't affect any of the businesses." Oh no? Less than two months into construction a corner store shut its doors. The reason? The road construction turned away many of the customers. The amount of businesses went down so much that this store lost its lottery machine, and the owner decided to call it a day. Now in the interest of "fairness," I think the State should allow this store owner, who from what I was told had been in business for decades, to keep his lottery machine and stay in business. But wait, this store is in the PRIVATE sector. Maybe the store owner should have asked for a bailout.

I've only had two hangovers in my life. Each time I had Sprite and Saltines.

I haven't really paid attention to your new solo show weeknights on OMGFAUXNEWSLOL2009~! However, when I heard back in February that Gilbert Gottfried was going to be one of your GREAT AMERICAN PANELISTS, I couldn't resist. Finally got around to looking up a clip on YouTube of this segment to replay one of the highlights. What also made me laugh was George Allen (to the left) then trying to make a serious douchey statement about roids in baseball. You're not running for office anymore. Lighten up for God's sake. Here's another clip. The first 0:54 pretty much sums up why I don't bother watching these shows on a regular basis. The rest of the clip is why I watched this particular episode.

No. I'll take part in an office lottery pool, but that's just so I know the rest of the group will lose.

When you're good enough to get 63 pages in your "ask" feature, the Best Ending, the Frog Ending, and the Secret Ending, then we'll talk. Until then, keep on digging, Watson. Man, am I stretching for material now or what? Guess I can comment on President Hussein again. Then again, nothing STRIKES me as worth commenting about this terrorist fucktard. I could make some jokes about his kids, but that would be going in the GUTTER. Perhaps a sex joke about him and Michelle wreslting in the sack -- I bet there's some good PIN ACTION there. Oh look at the time: It's 7:10. I gotta split. 9 p.m. • Those bitches. How dare they think the Octo-Mom is an unfit parent? Now here's the big shocker. That feminazi bitch Gloria Allred is finally on the right side of the law. • So Barney Fwank thinks Scalia is a homophobe. I swear to Christ you could just burn sound clips of this guy to a CD and it would outsell at least half the comedy albums out there.

Put a bunch of money on a Super Bowl upset from years ago.

Oh man. This is like shooting fish in a barrel. *Bang* Got the crack-whore niece-in-law. I've talked about her enough at this place.

Just ignore you. Being married grants you the training to tune out those you don't wish to hear.

Not me.

These ideas don't work. I'm way more cooler than you and nobody gave a shit.

I actually did fill out an office bracket earlier this morning. Problem is I don't remember who I picked. I have Memphis winning it all, though. Don't ask why. 6 p.m. • Before you start saying OMG TAX THE RICH, remember that one day it may be you in the government's cross-hairs. Hell hath no fury like a public official with an ax to grind. Then why did you do this, you cunt? And let's also strip the retention bonuses of these people. And while we're at it, let's have Barney Fwank take a bit out of his account just for shits and giggles.

Nice to see you have enough time to go on late-night television and fill out a March Madness bracket -- It's not like you have anything better to do, o' favorite Son of Kenya. On second thought, if this Bread and Circuses routine keeps you distracted for any length of time from implementing your socialist schemes, I'll ask you to fill out a bracket for the remaining NIT rounds. Actually, during the whole Clinton impeachment period, I was all for the process. It wasn't partisan; it was more because it kept Congress and the Prez from doing anything else. Speaking of which, I need to fill out MY brackkket. Oh who am I kidding? I haven't even posted last year's baseball results from that annual competition I have with that pseudo-baseball expert we have at this place.