My Week 2 Useless Comments on Games I Watched for More than Two Seconds

Texas Tech 49, SMU 9. Given this result and their struggle to beat North Texas maybe the Ponies won't break their post-Death Penalty bowl drought after all.

Clemson 24, Florida State 18. When will the Bobby Bowden Retirement Tour begin already?

Louisville 58, Middle Tennessee State 42. If you give up 42 points at home to a Sun Belt team you're probably not Top 10 material.

Cincinnati 34, Oregon State 3. Thank God I forgot to mention last week that Yvenson Bernard was my super sleeper Heisman candidate.

Rutgers 41, Navy 24. I had no idea Ray Rice's mom was retarded.

West Virignia 48, Marshall 23. HEY REMEMBER 37 YEARS AGO THE WHOLE MARSHALL TEAM DIED IN A PLANE CRASH AND THEY MADE A DISNEY MOVIE ABOUT IT STARING MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY AND IT'S NOW ON DVD. WAIT IS THERE A GAME GOING ON?

Nebraska 20, Wake Forest 17. For anyone who thinks USC might be running into a buzzsaw next week in Lincoln always remember Bill Callahan is their head coach.

Oklahoma 51, Miami 13. Nothing good can ever come from the Sooners being dominate again.

California 34, Colorado State 28. My insanely biased, bold prediction: Cal will only be the 5th best team in the Pac-10 by the end of the year.

Boston College 37, N.C. State 17. Now why exactly did Tom O'Brien leave BC again? Anyone?

Texas A&M 47, Fresno State 45. Game of the day. The Coaches' Poll inexplicably moved A&M up five spots for this win so I'll just assume Dennis Franchione gives great head.

Washington 24, Boise State 10. This wasn't an upset, Boise just isn't that good.

Oregon 39, Michigan 7. The scary thing for Michigan fans' is that Oregon probably will only end up going like 8-4 this year. And yes we can officially all start redoing our "Greatest Upsets Ever" list as the Appalachian State game suddenly doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

South Carolina 16, Georgia 12. And who says SEC Football is boring? Zzzzzzzz.

Penn State 31, Notre Dame 10. Jimmy Clausen getting his ass kicked in front of his family is fine entertainment.

East Carolina 34, North Carolina 31. Seriously CSTV needs to have their top scoreline and their bottom line take up less of the screen. It's like trying to watch a game in letterbox format except without the widescreen enhancement.

UCLA 27, BYU 17. I'm not quite sold on UCLA being a near Top 10 team.

Texas 34, TCU 13. Yup there ain't going to be a Boise State story this year. Sorry I don't buy into the "Look how shitty their schedule is!" argument for Hawaii especially after almost losing to Louisiana Tech.

South Florida 26, Auburn 23. For the second straight year it looks the Big East will be better than the ACC yet they'll be stuck with by far the worst bowl tie ins of any BCS conference.

LSU 48, Virginia Tech 7. THANK YOU GOD! Now just need LSU to lose because LSU playing for the national title in New Orleans will still get way too many pants full in Bristol, CT.

Wisconsin 20, UNLV 13. I'll say it right now, even if they go undefeated the Big Ten champ should not be in the BCS Championship Game.

Arizona State 33, Colorado 14. Never underestimate Dennis Erickson's ability at the college level. His teams have zero discipline but they simply don't give a fuck and they will kill you if given the opportunity.

Bored's Poll

1. LSU

2. Oklahoma

3. USC

4. Everyone else