I'm not too happy with the Bengals losing right now, so here goes something to get that off my mind. The bolded are always the title matches, if that's what you're interested in.

 

We start off with a video package narrated by Jim Ross, it's about Bulldog's career accomplishments, and it shows the finish to Bret/Bulldog at Summerslam 92. Good stuff.

 

On commentary are the Three Stooges, Vince, JR, and Lawler. Can't stand Vince commentated shows, but since I'm reviewing, my mind is hardly on the announcing.

 

1st match, the "King of the Ring" Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna v. Dude Love.

 

Prematch: Kicks off with a cool Dude promo where Dude talks his jive and funkiness in an english accent. Corny, but it fits with the character. HHH comes out and Chyna has no tits. You know how those guys in the WWE folder call all the women trannies? Well, I wouldn't blame them in this case. She looks like she's packin' heat.

 

Blow-by-blow: A quick backdrop off a whip, and a slugfest in the corner for the quick start. DUDE'S TAKIN OVAH (sorry for the bWo reference) so HHH bails and gets clocked on his way in with a right. Dude starts some work on the left arm, then he does an armbreaker type thing and takes HHH down to the canvas. HHH fights him off, whips him in and tries a drop toe hold, but Dude jumps over it and gets his own. He gets a modified indian deathlock, works on that for a bit, and throws HHH into the buckle. HHH does a Flair flip and gets caught upside down. Love pounds on him and nails an elbow to the face of HHH. Dude TUNES UP THE BAND AND IT'S TIME FOR SWEET SHIN MUSIC DADDY, but HHH simply jumps over it (much like Dude jumped over the drop toe hold earlier) and bails to the outside. Dude chases him around and gets clocked by that strong man in HHH's corner Chyna with a clothesline, and she throws Dude back in the ring for his trouble. She picked him up with ease, at that. Then she helps HHH beat up Foley in the corner as he distracts the ref, then the signature H knee to face, and an abdominal stretch after another whip. HHH gets caught with his hand on the ropes for leverage, so Mike Chioda tells HHH to break. HHH argues with the official, but the official fights back and pushes HHH to the canvas. Back on the inside, Dude gets a bulldog for 2, then HHH gets a swinging neckbreaker for two off a reversal. He does that stupider than shit courtsey, so it's a good thing Dude slingshots him into the post, and rams his head three times into each turnbuckle (top, middle, bottom). An avalanche by Dude and then another one where HHH gets his foot up. It gets a 2 count. Don't know why the spot was repeated. Anyway, HHH goes up to the top and Dude goes all "fuck that shit", and armdrags HHH down from the top rope. Cool. Dude Love TUNES UP THE BAND AND IT'S TIME FOR SWEET SHIN MUSIC DADDY and this time he hits it, and adds a double-arm DDT to boot. During the pin, Chyna puts HHH's foot on the rope to save him. That bitch. Dude gets distracted, turns around, and gets Pedigreed to finish at 12:51. The Pedigree isn't the same without JR screaming GAWD DAMN PEDIGREE HE HIT IT HE HIT IT KING GAWD DAMMIT NEW CHAMP THAT SON OF A BITCH.

 

Match analysis: These two have pretty good chemistry and it showed. They both kept a good pace and the Chyna trash didn't affect the match in any negative way. I enjoyed it...***1/2.

 

_________________________

 

 

Here's a little segment where they have an interviewer ask people outside the arena who they think will win a match, in this case, they ask who's gonna win the European Title match later tonight. Oh YEAH.

 

2nd match, Leif Cassidy v. Tiger Ali Singh w/Tiger Jeet Singh.

 

Prematch: Fuck. What did I do to deserve a Tiger Ali Singh match. Guess I'll stop watching wrestling again.

 

 

 

Ok, I'm not going to do that. Sunny's the guest ring announcer, which no doubt played a part in this decision. Yeesh. Terrible music for both, as Tiger Ali brings Tiger Jeet with him, and Ali cuts a promo about being drug-free and some other shit, quite frankly, it sucks and I wasn't paying attention. Jeet cuts a promo of his own in Indian and I can't understand a word. I'm not going to call Snow "Cassidy" either. Bunch of "fuck that."

 

Blow-by-blow: King says something about both Tiger Ali and Tiger Jeet being taxi drivers...and in response, Tiger starts things off with some shitty looking punch, kick. Tighten it up, for fuck's sake. Ali gets a belly-to-belly which was the best move of this match BY FAR, and Al Snow hits a clothesline in respons. Spinning heel kick and an ARMBAR by Snow and Ali's selling of the move is terrible, as is he. Blown roll-up spot by Ali, then a blown pickup to place Snow on the top rope...but after a while Tiger finally gets him up there and delivers a bulldog for the pin at 4:06. Announcers dubbed it, "the Tiger Bomb." Whatever.

 

Match analysis: Tiger Ali Singh is terrible. Why waste words. 1/4* for the belly-to-belly.

 

________________________

 

 

Before the next match, they show Austin costing Owen and Bulldog the tag team championship at Ground Zero. The winners of that bout, are the champions in this bout.

 

The 3rd match, is for THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD. The challengers are LOS BORICUAS, Savio and Miguel version and the champions are THE HEADBANGERS, THRASHER AND MOSH.

 

Prematch: I love Los Boricuas' music. Miguel Perez is hairy.

 

Blow-by-blow: Boricuas attack, but the Headbangers fight them off, when things shake out it's Perez and Mosh in there with Mosh giving an armdrag to Perez. Thrasher tags in and hits a clothesline on Perez from the 2nd rope. Savio tags in and he and Thrasher trade headlocks (3 for each) and Perez tags in. Savio catches Thrasher with a knee after Thrasher charges into the heel corner, then Savio comes in and gives him a NICE running leg lariat that puts Thrasher out on the floor. Thrasher's in trouble, as Savio and Miguel switch in and out after some punches and Mosh's attempt to break the doubleteam up. Nerve hold by Savio, and a false comeback off a crossbody gets 2 for Thrasher. Miguel gets a twisting senton and a standing moonsault for two as he tags in, and we GO BACK TO THE NERVE HOLD. Generic heel offense leads to a front face lock and subsequent fake hot tag, during the process Los Boricuas switch again, illegally. Miguel back in and A NERVE HOLD, THEN A CHINLOCK, knee to the stomach of Trasher and Savio gets in. He misses a splash, and there's a fake hot tag segment that fooled me. I had a mark moment and really thought Thrasher would get there. He's been in for 8 solid minutes at this point. Anyway, Thrasher finally gets SOMETHING with a sunset flip on Miguel that gets two, and a back suplex for Savio. FINALLY Mosh gets the hot tag and gives Los Boricuas the standard fare when a guy gets tagged in. A rana from the top by Mosh and a powerslam gets 2. The heels regain control as Perez hits a nice powerbomb on Thrasher, but Mosh comes off the top with the POWER OF HIS ASS for 3 at 13:25.

 

Match analysis: Kinda lame, but there was some good stuff in here. **1/4.

 

OK, from here, through Flash Funk v. The Patriot (*3/4), and Godwinns v. LOD (*1/2) is lost. I'm not reviewing those two boring matches again.

 

 

________________________

 

Crappy Shamrock/Rockabilly sequence that they originally did on the 3/17/97 RAW. Waste of time.

 

 

________________________

 

6th match, THE MAN THEY CALL VADER BAH GAWD v. Owen Hart w/the Canadian Flag.

 

Prematch: On his way to the ring, Owen drapes his Canadian flag over the heads of the commentators. Nice.

 

Blow-by-blow: Vader shows how strong he is and Owen bumps like a champ for it, in the process, Vader asserts himself as the heel in the bout. That's how you're supposed to work, adjust to the reaction you're getting and go from there. Owen gets a rana after forcing Vader to do a little running around, and a springboard crossbody off the turnbuckle gets 2 for Owen. He goes for the Sharpshooter, but Vader's too fat and not tired enough for Owen to pull it off. Vader's too big for Owen to suplex, so Vader tries his own that Owen reverses through and gets a rollup for 2. Smooooooth. Owen tries a crucifix but gets nailed with a samoan drop, so Vader drags Owen toward the buckle and gets a splash from the second rope (not the Vader Bomb) for two. Owen does the Bret© turnbuckle spot where he runs toward the turnbuckle at 100 mph, you know; he tries a bodyslam afterward but Vader is TOO FAT. Vader takes advantage of this situation and pulls out the rarely used armbar, and then the chinlock. Vader gets an avalanche and some submission work, an armbar, then a modified STF/halfcrab-ish thing. Owen has this fixation with SLAMMING Vader, but he can't this time after Vader misses an avalanhe, instead Owen whips Vader into the ropes and gets clotheslined for his efforts. Another modified halfcrab and a BIG splash for two. Vader tries a powerbomb, Owen attempts a kick and gets caught, so he pulls out the enziguri. Vader's down, Owen goes for the Sharpshooter. Teased finish as the hold is applied for a while, but Vader gets to the ropes. They get up and OWEN FINALLY SLAMS HIS FAT ASS for 2. They fight in the corner and with Owen down, it's Vader Time, Vader Bomb Time, as he goes up. He eats knees and a top rope dropkick from Owen. Leg lariat from off the ropes, and Owen has this seeming lack of focus and WILL TO WIN as he goes up to the top. Vader catches him on his way down and gives him a BIG POWERSLAM (Owen's head nearly bounces off the canvas) for the finish at 12:13. Owen should have went over, here.

 

Match analysis: I loved it. Good big man v. little man thing goin' on, and both guys really had their working boots on. One of Vader's last good matches in the WWF, I couldn't say if he's had any since. ***1/2.

 

 

________________________

 

A video of Summerslam, when Shawn laid out UT to give Bret another WWF Championship.

 

The 7th match is for THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. The challenger is from DEATH VALLEY, it's some guy called THE UNDERTAKER and the champion is this other guy from CALGARY named BRET THE BEST THERE IS BEST THERE WAS AND BEST THERE EVER WILL BE EXCELLENCE OF EXECUTION THE HITMAN HART.

 

Prematch: UT cuts a promo about resting in peace and all that jazz, lots of lighters flickering as per usual on his entrance with the lights off.

 

Blow-by-blow: The action is fast and furious, I kept up as best as I could until it slowed down a bit. Bret starts strong but UT stops things with a choke toss, knees to the gut in the turnbuckle, and a choke in the corner. As the official damns UT straight to hell for daring to use a choke, Bret unties the turnbuckle pad, leaving the buckle exposed. Bret can't get a hiptoss, so UT clotheslines him straight to the canvas for 2. UT misses an elbow drop, so Bret goes for the Sharpshooter. He can't get it, so on UT's way back up, Bret hits him with a clothesline, then he dumps UT and hits him with a quick baseball slide that drives UT into the announce table. Bret tries an axhandle from the second rope, but gets caught and spinebustered on the padding. They fight up the entrance aisle and UT gains the edge with a slam and a choke. Bret plays "I'm out on my feet" and UT guides him back to the ring and tosses him in. Punches and a side headlock by the big, dead guy, then he sends Bret into the ropes and is hit with a running DDT by Hart. 3 elbows to the leg by the Hitman, but UT no-sells the elbows and sits-up. Bret rakes UT's face across the top rope and chokes him, but UT gets the edge. The camera focuses on the turnbuckle pad, and sure enough, Bret does his spot and runs 100 mph into the exposed turnbuckle. He's having chest pain, so logically, UT delivers a HEART PUNCH (!) and elbows to the chest that get a 2 count. UT gets a crucifix for 2, then hits Bret with a backbreaker-turned-backbreaker submission. Drops him, but the cover only gets 2. Bret starts to work on the left knee and it's surprisingly SOLD for a LONG TIME by Taker, as Taker fails a charge to the exposed buckle, and his knee's about to tear, he's about to die again, and he's going to get buried alive.

 

 

Seriously though, Bret goes to work on the left knee, and once he ain't feelin' it anymore, UT can't stand up. Bret sees it, loves it, and starts again. He drags him to the ringpost and puts on the MOTHERFUCKING RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR, and Chioda says "no more of that", so Bret gets up, drags Taker to the middle of the ring, and applies it regularly. The crowd gets a "Rest in Peace" chant going, so Taker rises up from the death, gathers the power of the creatures of the night and reverses the Figure-Four. This goes on for a while and finally Bret gets to the rope. Taker sells the leg really well whilst buidling some offense, he misses a big boot with the right foot (cause he can't get the left leg in the air, see) and Bret goes back to the left leg with a kick to it on the big boot miss. When I say go back to the leg in this sense for this match, I mean the simple leglock they use in the Smackdown! series of games. Wrap UT's leg around the knee of Bret, and the like. UT tries to apply a chinlock while Bret's head is near UT's arms, but UT can't, so he tries to slug away instead. The Excellence of Execution begins with russian leg sweep.suplex.backbreaker.elbow from the second rope. NO, WAIT. Some variation, with UT getting his boot up in Bret's face so the elbow doesn't come down. They both stagger to their feet, and they each hit a clothesline for a well-deserved 8-count rest. UT up first, and he uses his right leg for a legdrop to the sack of Bret, but Bret grabs on, reverses and grabs the Sharpshooter, but UT kicks him off into the ropes and Bret responds with a headbutt to the abdominal area. Taker grabs a choke (which I believe was him looking for the chokeslam) and gets kicked in the leg, but he no-sells it

 

TIMEOUT. First time the Freakin' Undertaker, king of the no-sell no-sold that leg all match. Must be some kind of record.

 

and hits a big boot. Legdrop with the right leg for UT gets a 2 count. Bret goes to the outside and grabs the ringbell. UT boots him in the gut and Taker decides he wants to give the bell a go, but the referee snatches it out of his hands. Taker's pissed, but he sees Bret on his way back up and dumps him. He whips Bret into the stairs, they go back in and Bret does this spot where he gets whipped toward the exposed turnbuckle, but instead of taking another blow from the buckle to the chest, he slides down and takes a big ram-slide into the post. I don't know how many people noticed it, but it's an awesome added thing to the match. UT grabs the arm and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but Bret armdrags him off the top rope. UT attempts a Tombstone, but Bret rolls him up for two. They do another Tombstone reversal sequence with Bret attempting it first, but this time UT gets through, has him in Tombstone position, and in a spot that looked kinda contrived, he drops Bret through the ropes, tying him up by his head. Taker beats Hart up while in the ropes, and the referee decides he's going to disqualify UT at 28:31, by way of the almost never-used, you had 5 and didn't break, match over spot. Chioda gets chokeslammed, Brisco goes down to help untie Bret, and he gets chokeslammed, Owen gets Bret out of there, and UT chases them to the back. Apparently Tim is Impotent. Sorry Tim. As the ring announcer calls the decision, UT makes his way toward him. Poor guy. Announcer gets out of dodge, and that's it. What a fucking match, and Bret keeps his title.

 

Match analysis: What can one say about this match. Find it. Watch it. Record it and keep it. It's so easy to just dismiss this as a carryjob by Bret, but that's fucking bullshit. UT busted his ass, and he showed what he could do when he wasn't in there with a slug. The guy can work, period. BY FAR, this is The Undertaker's best match. I'd have given it ***** if UT hadn't no-sold the leg and if there was a legit finish to the match. As it stands, it's hard to believe anything on this show could top it. Right here, the show should have been over. Should have been. ****1/2 for the best match I've watched in a long time.

 

________________________

 

HBK promo about winning the Grand Slam (WWF, Intercontinental, Tag, and European Titles)...yadayadayadayada, it was better when Sunny was with you.

 

In the Main Event, from Birmingham, England, "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels v. "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith, for the European Championship, in this very ring, ON THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF THIS VERY SPORT.

 

Prematch: Davey's terminally ill sister comes out with him, and HBK does some quality heeling by breaking a kid's Bulldog figure. These two have history, as well. Crowd is rabid for Davey, and HBK is getting a sorta-pop. For now.

 

Blow-by-blow: Shawn somehow gets to the top, he winds up being tossed off, chopblocked and dumped over the top by Davey. I didn't know I was watching a MONGO match. Shawn with some rights on the apron, but he gets thrown in the hard way and military pressed as Davey parades around the ring. Hebner pleads for Davey not to throw Michaels into the crowd in a Bam Bam v. Spike esque moment. Davey gets an abdominal stretch after an irish whip, Shawn gets a hipblock of that and HBK takes a huge back body drop bump to the outside. In the hard way, Davey armdrags him (I thought we were done with that shit) and then gives him an armdrag press (you know, when a guy has someone in an armbar and lifts them over their head. If anyone knows what that is, I'd appreciate finding out). Shawn stalls for a bit, then takes some shoulderblocks around the ring. He runs to three sides of the ring in the process, getting shoulderblocked twice, but on the third time, he pokes Davey in the eye. Nice. Shawn tries a rana, but gets a sitout powerbomb instead, a samoan drop and then a surfboard. Davey's shoulders are down for two in the process (I don't know why, but Davey calls Hebner a son of a bitch after the count. I guess he thought Hebner was going to screw him, and this is before the screwjob. Weird little moment.) Afterward, Davey gives Shawn a delayed vertical suplex, and RICK RUDE, "THE INSURANCE POLICY" is on his way to the ring. Davey and Shawn do a rollup reverse sequence, and Shawn gets two out of it after Rude tips the rollup in favor of Shawn. Rude with some interference while Shawn distracts the ref, and Shawn goes to the top and hits an axehandle all the way to the floor. More Rude interference, and on the inside, Shawn gives Davey a back elbow and follows with a sleeper. Davey powers out and hits him with a nice back suplex for 2. HBK puts DBS hard to the buckle, and then hiptosses him and applies a short-arm scissors. Davey powers out in a nice-looking sequence that makes Davey look like a strongman, and uses a modified electric chair drop. They both collide, and HHH and CHYNA are on their way to the ring. Davey backdrops Shawn, tosses him to the buckle, then a Flair flip by Shawn as he gets tripped and slingshot into the post for two. Shawn turns the tide after a failed charge by Smith and slams Davey, then up to the top for an elbow. He nails it. HE TUNES UP THE BAND FOR SWEET CHIN MUSIC, but SWEET CHIN MUSIC misses, so Davey goes for THE POWERSLAM OF THE UNION JACK, but Rick Rude holds his leg and they dump to the outside. HHH can't help Shawn, HHH takes a clothesline from Davey. Davey blows THE POWERSLAM, HAIL BRITTANIA on the outside (I'm not sure if it was a blown spot, so *'s won't come off, but it sure looked like it) as his foot gets caught between the padding on the outside of the ring and the barricade separating that from the seating. Commence the overbooking. HHH and Rude work the barricade to make it look like they're doing damage, but they're really trying to get Davey's leg out, and once Davey gets up it's SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and then a PEDIGREE by HHH, and they put Davey back in. Here's where shit gets out of hand, so I'm going to separate this from the review. The guys in the ring and the promotion crossed the fucking line.

 

Once inside, Shawn pulls Davey's knee brace off and throws it to Diana Hart/Smith. I believe he says "this is for you," and if he did, kinda fucked. Anyway, Shawn applies a figure-four leglock, and uses HHH to hold onto for leverage. Davey bites the BLOOD CAPSULE and is capsuling out of his mouth, so sayeth the Three Stooges. After about three minutes of the figure-four and HHH and Chyna grabbing HBK for leverage, HHH distracts the ref and Rick Rude clocks Davey in the head, and Davey passes out at 22:53. The new European Champion is Shawn Michaels. Once the match is stopped, HBK FUCKING BURIES the Bulldog on the stick, knowing full well DBS can't do shit about it or he'll get fired, then HBK BURIES his terminally-ill sister, and HHH follows with it. There's trash all over the ring, and kids, THAT'S HOW YOU KILL A TOWN. Diana runs in the ring and tries to help Davey (worked-shoot or what, I have no idea), but she can't do a thing, so the Harts save. How's Davey's sister supposed to know whether or not these words are a shoot or work. She sure looked like she wouldn't be able to tell. HHH carries HBK out of the ring with the belt as they both yell, TRIPLE THREAT BAYBAY, HBK's got his Grand Slam, a town is killed, and not a single soul goes home happy. The face reaction for HBK is completely gone. What would soon be Degeneration-X celebrate on the ramp as the show ends.

 

Match analysis: Techincally, the match was sound until the overbooking. Complete and total fucking overkill once it hit that point. I really don't know how to rate the match. Post-match disgusted me, and it probably would have been better if Davey lost clean. EVERYONE involved should be ashamed of themselves. Yeah, I know the reason for it being this way, but at a point it crossed the line between what is acceptable and what isn't. Disgraceful.

 

Oh yeah, the match. **** for that, as I was diggin' it until the end. The finish had kept Davey strong, but not like it mattered. He got buried quickly after.

 

 

As for the whole show, I'm giving it ***3/4. It's a must watch, with UT's best match, one of Bret's last great matches, and a good Bulldog match with a pivotal moment in WWE history. And it has Dude Love. For the negatives, Tiger Ali Singh. At times it drags, but you can FF through it.

____________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, whew, I got through the Big Ones section this time. That's the hard part. If you don't like long reviews, my style probably isn't for you. Suggestions, comments, concerns, recommendations, pretty much anything is welcome. I'll be doing the MNW separately, and the NWA and WCCW reviews should be fun.