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Awkward company parties

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sfaJack

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So sfaJill's company's Chirstmas Holiday Party was last night at the fabulous Houstonian Hotel. This is the third one of these things that we've attended (although this is the first one at her new company) and I absolutely hate them because, for me, it's four hours of standing faithfully by her side, making small talk and cracking terrible jokes to a bunch people I've either never met or only see once a year at these parties (and thus don't remember their names anyway). Not exactly a good situation for me, given my general lack of ability to socialize.

 

Toss in the guarded tension in the air (as in people always seem to be reluctant to cut loose and say and act they way they really want to out of fear of harming their career by offending either the boss or one of the affirmative action hires) and the usual office cliques still being in effect and it's usually a pretty awkward situation. Last night's gathering also featured a balcony where all the smokers spent most of their time and, since I am allergic to cigarette smoke, sfaJill and I spent a lot of time sitting at our table entertaining each other because she was afraid to leave me by myself out of fear I would have a totally miserable time (as opposed to the semi-miserable time I ended up having).

 

The comedy highlight of the nights were these:

 

- The little DJ they hired. Dude had so many problems with songs either cutting off or skipping uncontrollably that, at one point, one of the drunk guys in the back (it was open bar) yelled, "Great job with the music man! YOU ROCK!" I do have to give the DJ a little credit though--any guy that can seamlessly merge "Stayin' Alive" into George Strait's "I Cross My Heart" has to have some mad skillz.

 

- sfaJill's boss. Dude is from deep Louisiana Cajun country, which is almost enough entertainment by itself. However, last night, he was wielding a camera and insisted on taking several pictures of damn near everyone in the place, including a couple with me, sfaJill, and...a couple of the other office females sitting my lap. Maybe you had to be there, but the way he basically ordered them all to just have a seat and smile big while sfaJill just sat there with a WTF look on her face was priceless.

 

Oh well. At least that's over for another year. Now I just have to get through another party next Saturday night, this time at the home of one of her coworkers. I've been told to be ready for a few "party games." Oh, God...

 

On Dec. 22, my company is hosting their first "official" company Christmas party in nine years at the Hilton downtown. Fortunately, we won't be attending. We have to go to Kansas City for sfaJill's cousin's wedding, which is the same night. Oh, damn the luck. sfaJill is really annoyed by this though, because I've been at my place of employment for over six years now and, because I do NOT hang out with any of them outside of work, the only time she's ever met any of my coworkers was back in September at my Mom's funeral when four of them showed up (and that wasn't exactly a social occassion). She claims she is dying to meet those people because she can "finally put a face to the names you come home bitching about" but I think she just wants to see if I have any hot female coworkers she can get jealous about. I don't know. I told her it's just as well we have to be in KC that night because I probably wouldn't go to the party anyway.

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She claims she is dying to meet those people because she can "finally put a face to the names you come home bitching about" but I think she just wants to see if I have any hot female coworkers she can get jealous about.

 

And Bingo was her name-o.

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