Review: WWF Royal Rumble 2002, from Atlanta, Georgia, 1/20/2002.
It's time to Rumble. It's time for the ROYAL RUMBLE!!! Sorry for the early 90's-ish reference.
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The opening video is great, and showcases part Royal Rumble victories...
And our first match is the Dudley Boyz w/Stacy Keibler vs. Spike Dudley and Tazz for the WWF Tag Team Titles.
Blow-by-blow: Ha, WWF New York. That's funny. Yeah, they showed it at the beginning of the show. I love Tazz's entrance, but the Dudleys attack him during it. They back suplex Taz on the floor, and do the same to Spike Dudley in the ring. Bubba gives Spike a neckbreaker, and takes off Spike's neckbrace. See, they 3D'd Spike on concrete at some point before this PPV. Bubba gives Spike another neckbreaker, and a suplex. D-Von tags in, and gives Spike a necksnap, then tags Bubba back in. Bubba gives Spike a WWE-ized brainbuster, and when he tries it again, Spike reverses it and gives him a DUDLEY DOG. Tazz comes in, but the referee never saw the tag. In the meanwhile, the Dudleys give Spike a GIANT FLAPJACK. Wow. D-Von goes to the top and misses a flying headbutt, so Bubba comes in, to cheat. Bubba and D-Von charge at Spike, but they clothesline each other, giving Tazz room to tag in. Clotheslines for all, belly-to-belly suplexes and t-bone suplexes for all, and a northern lights suplex for D-Von, which gets 2. Spike comes off the top rope with a crossbody, and he gives Bubba a DUDLEY DOG. Stacy Keibler gets on the apron to distract, but Tazz applies a TAZZMISSION. Bubba rams into Tazz which knocks Stacy off the apron, and Spike tries to give D-Von a DUDLEY DOG. D-Von dumps Spike to the outside during the move, but Tazz applies the TAZZMISSION, which causes D-Von to tap out at 5:05.
Match Analysis: That was a really good opening tag. It was short, but still, it was good. The unlikely title run by Spike and Tazz was fun, too. **1/4.
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The next match is William Regal vs. Edge for the Intercontinental Title, but first, there are a few things to take note of. Edge cut a promo on Regal, but before that, we saw the history, which was basically Regal hitting Edge with brass knuckles and Edge laying him out with a chair on the Smackdown which occured a few days later.
Blow-by-blow: The referee is looking for weapons, and he found brass knuckles in Regal's trunks. Way to go. Edge attacks Regal at the beginning of the match, and backdrops him. Edge stomps away, and gives him the boot choke prior to ramming Regal's face into the mat, twice. Regal comes back with a few knees to the gut, but Edge backslides him for a 2 count. Regal rakes away at Edge's face, but Edge gives him an enziguri. Regal gives Edge a half-nelson suplex, for a 2 count...I always found it funny how WWE was so strictly against headdrops, but Regal used that. Weird. Anyway, Regal applies a cross armed choke, but gets backdropped when Edge makes it to his feet. Regal gives Edge a double-underhook powerbomb for a 2 count, and places Edge on the ring apron. Edge reverses Regal's attempted hold, and gives Regal a nice looking DDT, on the ring apron. Both men collide in the ring, and Edge gives Regal a spinning heel kick after a short rest. Regal gives Edge another half-nelson suplex, but Edge clotheslines him for 2. After a few left hands, we have a REGAL STRETCH...but Edge makes it to the ropes. That means that we get an EDGE STRETCH, but Regal also makes the ropes. Edge dropkicks Regal and rolls him up for 2, before going to the top rope. Regal knocks him down and tries a HUGE double-underhook suplex, but Edge comes off the top with a spinning heel kick. Regal grabs the brass knuckles out of his trunks, and Edge accidentally spears the referee. Regal runs over and clocks Edge, and after about a minute, the eventual cover gets a 3 count, at 9:46. The crowd hates it, and so does Michael Cole. That's why he goes over to Regal for an interview. Regal talks about his gifted left hand, and the power of the punch. Edge stays down during the whole interview, at least until a parade of officials is able to revive him. At least we have a new champion.
Match Analysis: I don't think these two have very good chemistry. Started out shaky, but definitely picked up. Not great, though. **1/2.
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On Smackdown, Jazz attacked Trish Stratus, shutting her hand inside of a chest. So that means Jazz will challenge Trish for her Women's Title, you see. Jackie is the special referee...I have no idea why.
Blow-by-blow: This should be very short. Jazz attacks Trish, and gives her a big splash for a 2 count. Trish fights back and sunset flips Jazz for 2, which leads to a big "pin each other all around the ring" sequence. I like when that happens. Jazz drops Trish throat-first along the top rope, and legdrops her for a 2 count. Jazz wrenches away at Trish's hand, and she begins to argue with Jackie. That's real smart. Trish rolls Jazz up, but Jazz reverses it for a SLOW 2 count. Because Jazz and Jackie were arguing, see. Trish gives Jazz a jawbreaker, but Jazz throws her off during a DDT attempt. Jazz tries a back suplex, but Trish counters and gives her STRATUSFACTION. The cover gets 2, as does the cover after a Jazz DDT. Jazz misses a charge to the corner, and that gives Trish the opening to give her a bulldog, getting the pinfall win at 3:43.
Match Analysis: Not the best match, but these never are. At least it was short. *.
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The next match is a street fight, featuring Ric Flair, who's taking on Vince McMahon.
Blow-by-blow: Before the match, there's a video package, of course. I liked this angle, just because it was Flair's return to action. Counting WCW, he hadn't been involved in anything that made sense for years. They lock-up, and Vince pushes Flair to the ground, Hogan style. He poses and all that, and shoulderblocks Flair. Vince struts, mocking Flair, but Flair takes him down to the canvas. Flair chops away after being mocked again, but Vince rakes the eyes. Vince tosses Flair into the buckle, but Flair isn't able to make it over with the flip, so he gets on the apron and Vince clotheslines him out. Vince grabs a "Keep Off" sign from the guardrail near the entrance, and he wallops Flair upside the head with it. Vince rams him into the guardrail, and goes to grab a trash can, which he hits Flair with. Flair's bleeding now, so Vince rams him into the ringpost and then the steel steps. Vince slams Flair on the outside, and goes over towards Flair's daughter. He grabs her camera, and takes a picture of he and a bloody Flair. How sweet. Back in the ring we go, and Vince begins to work on the knee. He rams FLair's leg into the apron and the post after some prior legwork, which brings him to apply the FIGURE-FOUR! The hold lasts for a while, until Flair reverses it. Vince makes the ropes, and goes to the outside to grab a lead pipe that he used to attack Flair on Smackdown. Flair gives him a lowblow, and knocks Vince out of the ring. Flair gets a television monitor, and he hits Vince in the head with it, causing him to bleed. We go back to the chops and over to Flair's family, where his daughter takes a picture of him biting Vince. Flair lowblows Vince inside the ring, hits him with the lead pipe, and applies the FIGURE-FOUR for the submission at 14:54.
Match Analysis: Better than I thought it would be, but that's not to say it was great. **1/4.
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Nick Patrick is with Michael Cole, for some reason, Stephanie McMahon shows up. She says that HHH will kick everyone's ass, and rambles a bit about the uselessness of Debra. STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD heard that, and makes his way over. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT, and Stephanie runs away. Stone Cold will win the Rumble. How do you feel about...WHAT? Sorry, I love that.
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We quickly segue to THE ROCK vs. Chris Jericho for the Undisputed Title...I said quickly because there was no video package or prior buildup throughout the show.
Blow-by-blow: Jericho's Undisputed Title run meant absolutely nothing. IMO, it was always treated as a joke, plus, look how he won his important matches. Jericho tells Rock to JUST BRING IT at the beginning of the match, and well, the Rock does. He gives Jericho a back elbow and samoan drop to start, which gets a 2 count. Jericho bails to the outside, but Rock chases him back into the ring, where he spears Jericho. Jericho clotheslines Rock, but misses a charge to the corner. so Rock rams his face into the mat. Rock charges at Jericho, but Jericho drops him throat-first along the top rope. Rock comes back with (haha) a back elbow, but Jericho counters with a spinning heel kick for 2. Jericho gives Rock a suplex, and the COME ON BABY pin for a 2 count. I liked that. Jericho takes a turnbuckle pad off one of the turnbuckles, and goes for the WALLS OF JERICHO. Rock pushes Jericho away, but Jericho replies with a seated dropkick. Jericho comes off the top with a missile dropkick for 2, and he goes to the chinlock. A long chinlock. Rock fights his way out, but Jericho gives him a back elbow, prior to going up top. Rock crotches him, and gives him a superplex. Rock comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex for a 2 count, but Jericho responds with a bulldog and two LIONSAULTS. That only gets a 2 count, so Jericho pushes Earl Hebner. Hebner pushes back, so Jericho gives up on that fight. Jericho goes up to the 2nd rope, but Rock catches him on the way down and applies the SHARPSHOOTER. Lance Storm runs down to the ring to distract the referee, but Rock knocks him off the apron. Christian comes out of the crowd and tries to hit Rock with one of Jericho's title belts, but he misses and gets tossed out by Rock. Jericho gives Rock a ROCK BOTTOM, but that only gets a 2 count. Jericho gives Rock a senton, and then goes for a JERICHO ELBOW. Rock kips up, and tosses Jericho over the top rope. Hey, there will be a lot of that in the next match. Rock rams Jericho into the steel steps, and tears apart the announce table. Jericho rams Rock into the table, and tears apart the Spanish Announce Table. Jericho tries to give him a ROCK BOTTOM on it, but Rock counters and gives Jericho the ROCK BOTTOM, onto the English Announce Table. Back in, the Rock covers Jericho, but it only gets a 2 count. Rock goes for the ROCK BOTTOM, but Jericho fights him off and applies the WALLS OF JERICHO. Rock makes it to the ropes, and rolls Jericho up for a 2 count. Jericho accidentally forearms Hebner, and goes to grab a title belt. He hits Rock with the title belt, and Nick Patrick runs down to make the 2 count. Rock DDT's Jericho, but Patrick won't count. What the fuck sense does that make? This is overbooking central right here. Rock gives Nick Patrick a ROCK BOTTOM, then gives Jericho a spinebuster. Time for the PEOPLE'S ELBOW, but there's no referee. Rock wakes up Hebner, but Jericho lowblows Rock and rams him into the exposed turnbuckle, which allows Jericho to roll up Rock while putting his feet on the ropes for the 3 count at 18:50.
Match Analysis: You see, this is a prime example of how to make your champion look like shit. Way too much WCW type shit going on in this one. We'll knock off 1/4* for each instance of excess booking. Christian...Lance Storm...rope pin and exposed buckle (isn't one of those enough?)...non-counting referee, and the first belt shot. I think that's it, as the table spots are pretty much standard fare at this point. I would've given this ****1/4 without the excess. 5 instances of excess bring this one down to ***. Not very hard to bring the rating down, I don't feel guilty about it.
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Shawn Michaels is with us from WWF New York...he looks drugged out of his mind.
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It's time for the ROYAL RUMBLE. Winner goes to WrestleMania, yeah yeah yeah
Blow-by-blow: #1 is Rikishi. Boo. #2 is a returning GOLDUST. Yay! Wish he had never left the WWF in the first place, although him leaving gave us a lot of Seven bullshit in WCW. If you don't know what that is, just wait until you'll be able to see it on 24/7. #3 is the Big Bossman. Damn, he's looking old then, too. #4 is Bradshaw. If you aren't familiar with how I do these, basically I ramble, cover eliminations and entrances, and that's it. Unless something else happens. I thought Bradshaw would clothesline everyone, but he didn't. Instead, we were treated to Rikishi giving Bossman a stinkface. Rikishi eliminates Bossman at 5:25 after a clothesline, and #5 is Lance Storm. There's a dead period before the #6 entrant, Al Snow. Hey. Bradshaw gives Storm the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL, and #7 is Billy Gunn. Snow and Storm begin to fight on the ring apron, and Snow kicks Storm out, at 11:03. Like I said, there was a dead period. Billy tosses out Bradshaw when he was trying to eliminate Goldust, at 11:31, and then, here comes the Deadman, entering at #8. He chokeslams Goldust over the top and to the floor at 13:01, and clotheslines Rikishi out of the Rumble at 13:39. Gunn goes out soon after at 13:46, leaving Taker all by himself. #9 is a returning Matt Hardy, who runs right into the ring and along with Lita, stomps on the Undertaker. #10 is Jeff Hardy (saw that one coming), and once he comes out, they both hit their finishers on Taker. Jeff goes for Poetry in Motion, but Taker catches him and dumps him out at 18:22. Matt gets tossed over the top after a LAST RIDE at 18:53...and #11 is MAVEN. Yes. We all know what happens. Maven dropkicks Taker out at around 20 minutes or so, so Taker beats his ass. Taker gives him a chairshot and blades Maven's forehead (yes, it was that obvious), and #12 is Scotty 2 Hotty. Well, Taker knocks him out, and brings Maven back into the ring, and throws him over the top rope at around 23 minutes. #13 is Christian, who just fights during this assbeating that Taker has laid upon Maven. Of course, Taker takes him up the stairs, and tosses him through a POPCORN MACHINE. Man, that's still funny, even today. Christian's in the ring posing with his European Championship, until DDP enters at #14. I liked DDP's WWF run, which puts me in the minority for sure. Scotty gives Christian the WORM, and then he gets tossed by DDP at 28:28. Chuck Palumbo is #15...good God, get a haircut. That's the worst hair I've ever seen in wrestling. #16 is the Godfather, and during his entrance, Christian eliminates DDP. Godfather's entrance is super long, HO TRAIN and all that; as soon as it's over, #17, Albert makes his way to the ring. There have been WAY too many jobbers in this match. Ridiculous. Chuck and Christian toss Albert at 34:00, and they both clothesline Godfather over the top at 34:42. #18 is Perry Saturn. For fuck's sake, spare me. #19 is Steve Austin, who cleans house. Christian goes out at 37:44, Chuck goes out at 37:58, and Saturn goes out at 38:04. Austin looks at his "watch," and there's a lot of time left before the next entrant. So he brings Christian in, beats his ass, and tosses him back out. #20 is Val Venis. What is this, 1999? Going along with that thought, #21 is Test. Austin clotheslines Venis over the top at 43:07, and does the same to Test at 43:19. For #22, IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME OMG RETURNING SUPERSTAR TRIPLE H. Seeing as Austin and HHH are the only guys in the ring, I got the thought that it's really odd these two never faced each other at WrestleMania. Of course, they fight, at least until the HURRICANE comes in at #23. He wants to be like Mike, so he tries to chokeslam both Austin and HHH at the same time. Not gonna happen. Austin and HHH toss him out at 48:05, and #24 is Faarooq. Jobber after jobber after jobber. While this hasn't been super boring, it's been boring. At this point, I can name each person who will enter the Rumble, although not in order. HHH knocks Faarooq over the top at 49:36, and #25 is a returning MR. PERFECT. A mark-out moment for sure. This is his first Rumble since 1993, btw. Long interval there. #26 is Kurt Angle...Angle vs. Perfect in their primes would've rocked. #27 is the Big Show, who chokeslams Angle and Perfect. #28 is Kane, who bodyslams Show over the top at 58:19. Yes, he did. Angle gives Kane the ANGLE SLAM to put him over the top at 58:34, and #29 is RVD. About 30 seconds after he comes in, HHH PEDIGREES him. #30 is Booker T, as RVD is still lying on the canvas. Booker T just picks him up and throws him out at 1:01:39...man, he really was made to look like a bitch just like people said. That was a burial. Austin gives Booker T a STONE COLD STUNNER, which sends him over the top at 1:02:03, and we're down to our Final Four. It's Austin, Angle, Mr. Perfect and HHH. Angle gives Austin multiple german suplexes, but he can't get rid of him. Eventually he does at 1:04:10, and we're down to three. Austin comes back in with a chair, hits everyone with it, and leaves. Perfect and Angle fight, and Perfect gives him the PERFECT PLEX! HHH clotheslines Perfect over the top rope at 1:07:04, and we're down to Angle and HHH. By this point it was obvious would would win. Angle tosses HHH over the top rope, HHH sneaks in, and clotheslines Angle over the top rope for the win at 1:09:19. HHH IS GOIN TO WRESTLEMANIA BY GOD HEALED TORN QUAD. The end.
Match Analysis: That wasn't the best Rumble I've seen. Honestly, it's one of the worst. **3/4. Whoever thought HHH vs. Jericho would be a main event worth watching needs to be slapped. That was an idiotic decision. That's one of those matches where you have absolutely no doubt as to who's going to win. No doubt at all.
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Rating: Decent. Not the worst show, but not enough good stuff to rate the show higher. Jericho/Rock was a gigantic disappointment, namely because of the booking. The Rumble was boring, although still ok. The rest was good to watch. Standard fare show.
Best Segment: Austin's promo about winning the Rumble.
Worst Segment: Jazz/Trish. It just wasn't very good.
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I'll put up the Monday Night RAW review from 6/9/97 tomorrow, because those are super easy to type up. For the arena shows like the stuff from MSG they show, starting next month, I'll just post one big review at the end of the month containing tidbits from all the shows. I can't just ignore the MSG shows, some are quality, some aren't, and they're all worth talking about.
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