Review: WWF In Your House: Mind Games, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; 9/22/1996.
There is, really, one thing to see here. And we all know what it is...it's JERRY LAWLER VS. MARK HENRY!
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Ok, not really. So, Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Mr. Perfect are on commentary.
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The first match here is Justin Hawk Bradshaw w/Uncle Zebekiah vs. Savio Vega in a CARIBBEAN Strap Match. Yeah, funny how they posted two of those in one update.
Blow-by-Blow: Why is Harvey Wippleman a referee? Anyway, after Vega cuts a promo in the back, Bradshaw whips Vega with the strap a BUNCH of times, before Vega can finally get hooked up to it. Anyway, there's some ECW guys in the crowd...this guy with blonde hair and a beer can spits at Savio Vega, why, whoever could that be? Some guy with a hat is holding him and this other dude back, before they get ordered to the back. BTW, other dude, was wearing a short that he usually wears when I see him wrestle. But I can't remember his damn name! Vega gives Bradshaw a back suplex after some buckle touching, then he lashes Bradshaw's back with the strap. Vega touches three turnbuckles...but Bradshaw pulls him down to the canvas, then gives Vega a big boot. Bradshaw follows it up with a lariat, and drags Vega across the ring to each turnbuckle. Vega's touching all of them right behind Bradshaw, and hey, Bradshaw accidentally pulls Vega into the fourth buckle, just like how Austin did so at Beware of Dog 2. Vega wins at 7:07 via corner touching.
Match Analysis: Nowhere near as good as the Vega/Austin match, but respectable enough, I suppose. Match is *3/4, just because I'm in a good mood. Now, I've gotta wonder...what's up with them posting a two shows, each of which contain a strap match. Coincidence?
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Anyway, Jim Cornette taunted Jose Lothario for a few weeks, so now, they're going to face each other.
Blow-by-Blow: In the lockerroom before this match, Diesel and Razor Ramon attacked Savio Vega. WHAT THE FUCK OMG THEY'RE BACK IN TEH WWFWii! Really though, of course that's not the real Diesel and the real Razor Ramon. Anyway, they should've posted this event next month, given that Lothario is a LATINO LEGEND. Lothario punches Cornette, rams him into the buckle, and covers him after a left uppercut for the win at 0:56.
Match Analysis: Negative stars just for making a mockery of wrestling. How many, though. Let's see here...one for each participant. -**. I love Cornette, but this idea, oh boy, it sucks. Please, no more of this, ever.
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We go to a split-screen ad for the SUPERSTAR HOTLINE. On one side, we have Marc Mero and Sable. On the other, we have Faarooq Asad and Sunny. Guess what, these two are going to face each other in the Finals of the Intercontinental Title Tournament, on RAW.
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Here comes Brian Pillman to the ring...hell yes. He's a loose cannon, you see. Before this segment, we saw a video in which Bret Hart called Pillman and Owen Hart liars. Well, now Pillman calls Owen Hart out here, to talk. Owen's the best, you see. Now Steve Austin comes out...to music that sounds a lot like that of Chris Masters. Austin says that Bret Hart is a chicken, because Bret was supposed to be there, and well, he isn't. I'm sure that's where the "liars" comment comes from, Owen and Pillman probably talked the Hart appearance up. Austin wants you to put an 's' in front of Hitman, cause that's what he thinks about Bret. Now that's uncalled for. All done.
Good segment, too.
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We see a Mark Henry video of him touring Philadelphia...then a video of Psycho Sid doing a chat on America Online. He's too good to do the typing himself.
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Next up, we have Owen Hart and the British Bulldog squaring off against The Smokin' Gunns w/Sunny for the WWF Tag Team Championships.
Blow-by-Blow: For some reason, a poster comes down out of the rafters, and the commentators sell it as being ruined by Bulldog and Owen. Ok. Anyhow, Clarence Mason comes to the ring, which distracts Owen enough to be rolled up from behind by Billy Gunn, although it only gets a 2 count. Owen does his arm-wringer reversal sequence, but Billy takes him down with a shoulderblock. Owen quickly respnds with a hiptoss and an armdrag, before giving Billy a crossbody for 2. Owen cradles Billy for 2, but Bart comes in and slams Owen to the canvas. He misses an elbowdrop, which allows Bulldog to tag in, only to be shoulderblocked. Bulldog rolls Bart up for 2, then gives him a dropkick and an armdrag. Owen tags in and chopblocks Bart (good move right there), then begins to go to work on the leg. He applies an INDIAN DEATHLOCK, then goes right to a BOSTON CRAB, but Bart grabs the ropes. Bulldog tags in and delivers with a delayed vertical suplex (Owen and Bulldog are pretty over as babyfaces, I should add. But it's Philly.), and then a legdrop which gets a 2 count. Owen continues the assualt with a leg snap, then he goes all 1980's on us with a spinning toehold. Bart eventually cradles Owen for 2, but Owen comes right back with an enziguri, not allowing Bart to gain any momentum. Billy suckers Bulldog over to the corner so that Bart can give him a clothesline, and he tags into the match. He rams Bulldog into the steps, then Bart comes right back in, but only for a second. Billy comes in with a poetry in clothesline (you like that), before tagging Bart back into the match. They give Bulldog the SIDEWINDER (a kickass move if you haven't seen it), but the referee gets distracted by Clarence Mason. Owen hits Billy in the head, and Bulldog covers him for...a 2 count. That was close. Bart tags in and gives Bulldog a bodyslam, before tagging Billy right back into the action. Billy goes to the chinlock...but that doesn't last long at all, as Bart comes in. He tries to give Bulldog a taste of his own medicine (meaning Bulldog's finisher), but Bulldog slips off Bart's shoulder and pushes Bart into an unsuspecting Billy. That allows Bulldog to give Bart the RUNNING POWERSLAM, for the pinfall victory at 11:00. The crowd goes nuts, and we have new champs! After the match, Sunny calls the Gunns wannabe cowboys. So she quits. Figures.
Match Analysis: First things first, the reason that Clarence Mason came to the ring was because he stole Owen and Bulldog's contracts out from under Jim Cornette. I suppose that makes sense. As for the match itself, it was quite good, well, as good a match as you'd expect. Which is average, btw. I enjoyed it, but I call it right down the middle. **1/2.
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Kevin Kelly is with Mankind and Paul Bearer...Shawn has not yet felt the sort of pain that Mankind is about to inflict upon him.
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Jerry Lawler is taking on Mark Henry...
Blow-by-Blow: Mark Henry is wearing something...I can't even say exactly what it is. Something Madusa would wear. Anyway, Lawler says that Henry can't get out of a headlock, so Lawler gives him one. Of course, Henry gets out of it, and reverses to a hammerlock to boot. This guy has SKILLZ! Now, Henry applies a headlock, and Lawler reverses out to a hammerlock. Henry reverses that into a hammerlock of his own, then he tosses Lawler into the turnbuckle. Lawler tries a bodyslam, but he can't pick Henry up, so Henry gives Lawler a gorilla press slam, nearly killing Lawler in the process. Lawler can't shoulderblock Henry, so Henry tosses Lawler out and into the guardrail. Lawler distracts the referee on his way in so he can grab a fist pack out of his tights, then he hits Henry with it. That doesn't do anything, so Henry gives Lawler an ARGENTINE BACKBREAKER for the submission at 5:09. Boo. Anyway, AL SNOW runs in to attack Henry, but Henry tosses him out of the ring. The same thing happens to Marty Jannetty, and lastly, Hunter Hearst Helmsley runs in and gets gorilla pressed to the outside, landing on both of the New Rockers. Yeesh, they really did punish Helmsley.
Match Analysis: S-Q-U-A-S-H. Not a very good one either. Thank goodness the WWF saw the light and decided not to unleash this manbeast upon us all until the following year. Oh, the rating. 1/2*. Lawler's always good for a laugh.
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Next match and the beginning of part 2 of this program (as seen on WWE 24/7) is The Undertaker vs. Goldust w/Marlena in a Final Curtain Match. That means, there must be a winner by pinfall, and there are no disqualifications. Simple, eh?
Blow-by-blow: Before this match starts, we see an ad for next month's PPV, In Your House: Buried Alive. At that show, Mankind is going to face the Undertaker in a Buried Alive Match. It'll be non-sanctioned, and in case Mankind wins the WWF Title, the non-sanction means that the title wouldn't be on the line, in any case. So, now for the match. Taker rams Goldust right into the buckle, then gives him a choketoss. Quick start for the PHENOM. Taker gives Goldust a legdrop for 2, but Goldust responds with a swinging neckbreaker after bailing to the outside. Taker gives Goldust a big boot and a suplex as if to say, "that shit don't hurt me," but the cover only gets 2. OLD SCHOOL TIME, and then Taker tosses Goldust over the top and to the floor. Goldust grabs some...gold dust, and flings it in the eyes of Taker. He now chokes Taker, before ramming him into the announce table. Back in, and Goldust gives Taker a clothesline for 2. Goldust chokes Taker with his boot, then applies a headlock, which Taker back suplexes out of. Goldust gives Taker a hiptoss for 2, in an attempt to disallow Taker from gaining control of the matchup. Goldust whips Taker into the buckle, but Taker comes out fiercely with some punches and a chokehold. A Goldust powerslam only gets 2, so Taker fires off the ropes with a clothesline. Taker misses a charge, and Goldust goes to the top, only to be chokeslammed from all the way up there. TOMBSTONE CITY, and Taker wins at 10:18. That feud is OVAAAH.
Match Analysis: If most of the matches were like this one, THANK GOD it is. Match wasn't very good at all, but hey, it ended without interference. That was a surprise, and we'll give this one *1/2. Of course, both would move on to bigger things. Don't know if I can say that Goldust moved on to a higher profile feud...he kinda didn't. If these matches had been better, well, who knows.
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Kevin Kelly interviews Shawn Michaels...who is a bit nervous about this title defense, to put it that way.
Yeah, Mankind w/Paul Bearer is facing Shawn Michaels w/Jose Lothario for the WWF Championship.
Blow-by-Blow: Mankind comes down to the ring inside of a casket during his entrance...of course, I love that. Both lock-up to start, and Mankind gives Shawn a quick back elbow. He then backdrops Shawn, and gives him a CACTUS CLOTHESLINE, which of course sends both men down to the floor. Mankind kicks Shawn into the guardrail, before peeling off the padding at ringside, which exposes the concrete floor. Shawn dropkicks the padding onto Mankind, then he stomps on Mankind, who has the padding on top of him. Funny. Anyway, he gives Mankind a crossbody from the 2nd turnbuckle, then Shawn jumps off the apron and rams Mankind's head into the floor. Back in, and Shawn comes off the top with a double axhandle. A clothesline follows, and so does a bodyslam and a FLYING ELBOW from up top. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, so Mankind dives out of the ring, to avoid SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Mankind takes Shawn down to the canvas back inside the ring, so they brawl. He goes for the MANDIBLE CLAW, but nope, he can't get it. Instead, he gives Shawn a clothesline, then tosses Shawn out of the ring. Mankind pulls a table over, but Shawn flies over the table and jumps on top of Mick. Shawn suplexes Mankind into the steel steps, and back on the inside, he gives Mankind a chopblock. Shawn then rams Mankind's left knee into the casket, before giving him a dragon screw. To the FIGURE-FOUR we go, and once Mankind makes the ropes, Shawn gets up and dropkicks him in the knee. Shawn applies a half-crab now, but Mankind makes it to the ropes again. Shawn follows it up with a sunset flip, but that only gets a 2 count. Mankind gives Shawn a hotshot in an attempt to regain control...and now, Mankind stabs himself in the knee with a pen, to regain feeling in his knee. Mankind rams Shawn into the casket, then puts him in the corner, for the running knee to head. Mankind then slams Shawn's head into the canvas, but Shawn replies with a back suplex. Mankind shoots HBK into the corner, so HBK goes upside down and into tree of woe position. Mankind notices this situation, and gives him two elbowdrops, as he generally would. A big boot puts Shawn out of the ring, but Mankind accidentally knees the steps, after missing a charge. That shit must hurt. Shawn then drop-toe holds Mankind face-first into the steps, before trying to suplex him back into the ring. He can't, though, so Mankind suplexes Shawn onto the ring apron. Mankind tries to charge into Shawn, but he misses, and hits the ringpost. So...Shawn gives Mankind a flying back elbow inside the ring, and a powerslam to boot, for a 2 count. Shawn tosses Mankind into the ropes, and Mick does the thing where he hangs by his neck. Awesome. He applies the MANDIBLE CLAW(!) while tied in the ropes, then slips out of the ropes, thanks to the official. On the outside, Shawn rams Mick into the guardrail, and gets a chair, which Mick punches on accident. Shawn hits Mankind on the knee with the chair, and then right on the hand, before going crazy on the hand work. Inside of course, Shawn stomps all over Mick's hand, but Mankind responds with a backdrop, sending Shawn over the top and to the floor. Mankind elbowdrops Shawn from the apron, and does the thing where he runs from the ring, slides under the bottom rope, and gives his opponent a swinging neckbreaker. Yeah, that's great. A DOUBLE-ARM DDT is delivered to Shawn, but it only gets a 2 couont. A Mankind piledriver also gets 2, which incenses the big lug. He tosses two chairs into the ring now, and opens up the casket. Shawn absolutely will not get pushed in there though, and he comes back with the flying forearm/kip-up combo. Crowd goes nut, but a crossbody from the top only gets a 2 count. Up top Shawn goes, but Mankind crotches him, and sets him up for a big move. A back suplex to be exact, but Shawn reverses it to a crossbody and both FLY THROUGH A TABLE. Yo. After a bit, Mankind gets on the top rope with a chair, but Shawn sets up the other chair and launches into Mankind with SWEET CHIN MUSIC! The cover only gets a 2 count though, which brings Vader down to the ring, for the disqualification at 26:25. Mankind hits Shawn in the head with the URN, and here's SID! He brawls to the back with Vader, and now, Mankind wants to put Shawn in the casket. Paul Bearer opens it, and...there's THE UNDERTAKER. Taker tosses Mankind out and chases him to the back, which ends the show.
Match Analysis: Wow. Just, wow. I can't give it ***** because of the non-finish, but had there been a finish, I definitely would've given it full marks. We'll go with ****3/4, and this is probably the best, I don't know, non-thumbtack and fly through cell match of Foley's career, that I've seen. Keywords: That I've seen. I wish Foley would've won, although his title win two years later wouldn't have happened, and if it didn't, we don't have that great moment. So I guess I'm glad that he didn't win the title.
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Rating: At best, it's a decent show. The crap that's on this show is pretty crappy, to say the least. Lothario/Cornette has no business even happening, much less being on PPV. Same with Lawler/Henry.
Best Segment: HBK/Mankind. At least we got a bitchin' match out of a less than spectacular PPV.
Worst Segment: Lothario/Cornette. Please, don't ever do that to me.
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Badd Blood 2003 review will be up on Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest. I'm not too happy that this was voted onto 24/7 over a show like Fall Brawl 2000.