Does niskie like it Raw?
So, I decided that I was going to do a "running diary" of Raw last night. It didn't go as well as I liked. For one thing, I didn't think to keep track of the times as I was writing my notes, so I can't say what time it was when a certain something happened. For a second thing, I have the attention span of a retarded monkey, and thus can't stay focused long enough to, y'know, do a running diary. So here's what I came up with:
Show opens with Vince McMahon, so I'm presuming it's about 9:00 or shortly thereafter. I chuckled that he got the "jobber entrance" of no music, but presumed that his decade-old "No Chance in Hell" theme might not fit what he's there to babble about. And I'll have to be honest, I missed a lot of what he said, as I was very distracted by the guys that were close to a mic that kept trying to start the "asshole" chant, even though at the time Vinny Mac wasn't acting heelish. But from what I pieced together, he thinks that what Regal did was a-ok.
And remember the "second thing" that I referenced in my opening paragraph? Well, I got bored and flipped around for a while, so I missed Regal's theme & walk to the ring, and then part of his speech. But I came back for the end, and saw some footage of what he did last week, and then saw Kennedy's introduction.
And for the second time, noted that the mic'ing seemed off, as his introductory "KENNEDY!" seemed kind of quiet, at least compared to the fan's reaction and, well, everything else that was being mic'ed at the time. Kennedy left me largely unimpressed on the mic. His dialog wasn't bad (kudos to the writers) but his delivery just seemed off. Weird cadence, weird pausing. Just weird. I've read how awesome he allegedly is on the stick, but for the few times that I've heard him, 'meh' is as high as I'll go.
And then HHH came in. You know, I really like HHH's theme music, but otherwise don't see much about him that interests me. As ghey as it sounds, his 'look' is just weird. His aesthetics peaked during his "blueblood" gimmick, and then has fallen off the charts since. And since I presume(d) that he picks his own t-shirt designs, I have to laugh at how New Hampshire PWT he really is. Remember that whole "second thing" that's been referenced twice now? Third time's the charm. I missed most of what he said while thinking about his theme song & his wardrobe and whanot. I caught the 'punishment' part at the end, now, where it'll be a two on <whole roster> handicap match. Oh, that sounds riveting ... can't wait for 11:00 for that! Sadly, the announcement of the main event is what made me question my decision to do a running diary. I mean, watching this until 11:05 or whatever, when the main event is a "heel GM puts together a horrible mismatch"? Thanks, but no thanks ... I'll see how long I can last, though.
The show then proceeded onto the divas match. I have to admit that Mickie James looked the hottest that she's ever looked, IMHO. Still finished third behind Michelle McCool & Kelly Kelly, though. Which is weird, because (1) I'm normally not a big fan of the 'generic blonde' appearance so having MM & KK as my top two is odd, and (2) normally Maria is pretty much my favorite "diva" to leer at. She had that horrible New Jersey Shore Whore look in full effect, though, so she didn't do much for me last night. (Is that for a gimmick/angle, or is that what she chose to wore?!?) The match itself was so sloppy I couldn't look away. The hilarious do-si-do that they did when they fucked up an attempted back-slide was great; haven't these two been in the ring together a bunch of times? And the end sequence? Melina should have just announced, "wrestling's fake" as she stood there and DIDN'T hit MJ in the back of the head. I don't know if I'm supposed to give star ratings or something, so will give the segment *** for aesthetics, * for actual wrestling, and **** for "it's so bad it's good" entertainment value. Plus, partial thong shots always get a star from niskie.
Ok, my notes get kind of scattered here. Jericho came out to chit-chat with Regal, and then was put in a match with Michaels against the new M&M. I don't know why or anything, though. And all I wondered was "why put a guy from Toronto, that'll likely get cheered, in a tag with Michaels, who's probably still hated in Canada?" Sadly, though, I missed the actual match so I have no idea if they got along or if the fans did the boo/cheer thing or if they won the match or anything.
I saw that someone - who I found out this morning was Paul Birchill - had a match that seemed to be a boy/girl v. boy handicap match, but I had the TV on mute because I was on the phone, so don't know why or anything. Still, I was entertained by the match, and thus I'm going with ***.
I flipped around again for a while (My Name is Earl was on TBS, and a "girls prison" movie with Kristen Bell was on Lifetime ... she showered with another girl!) so I might have missed a segment or two, but when I went back, it was CM Punk v Randy Orton. Now, the first thing I though about was "people will bitch that they wasted this match on free TV instead of PPV" but I haven't really checked to see if that's true or if I was being overly cynical. Regardless, I found myself passively interested in the match until Regal came out to shut out the lights. So, at the end of it, I guess Punk is 'over' enough that his match getitng cut short will add to the heel heat. Or something. **-and-a-half stars.
And, sadly, that was the end of my Running Raw Diary experiment, as I flipped away and never went back. I actually forgot I was doing a raw diary until I saw my notebook on the coffee table, and by then was beyond apathetic about finishing it. Maybe it's for the best, this blog entry is already longer than it had any right to be ... imagine if I'd made it through the full 2 hours?
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