Review: WWF King of the Ring 1994, 6/16/1994; from Baltimore, Maryland.
It took me a while to watch this, but I finally did. I had to make time.
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After our National Anthem and introduction of our commentary team (including Art Donovan!), we have Razor Ramon taking on Bam Bam Bigelow in a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Bout.
- Nearly forgot, Bam Bam's accompanied by his MAIN SQUEEZE, Luna Vachon. Like the matchup.
- Razor toothpicked Luna, which allowed Bam Bam to attack. Back and forth stuff, until a Bam Bam resthold, which is a TORTURE RACK. Seriously. Bam Bam goes to the top after some nice moves, but Razor schoolboy's him from the top rope for the victory at 8:25.
Crowd's happy, but the match was nothing special at all. While I liked the matchup, the match itself wasn't so good in execution. Glad we didn't see more from these two, and if we did on television, I haven't seen it. *3/4.
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Todd Pettingill is with Mabel and IRS, and Irwin cuts a bad promo. He does that quite a bit. Mabel's, however, is okay.
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IRS vs. Mabel w/Oscar is obviously our next Quarterfinal Match.
- Oscar raps. That's about it. IRS walks out with no music, and talks about the tax cheats that are populating our crowd tonight.
- I hate Mabel, btw. I hate Art Donovan too. That said, this match could be much worse. Mabel goes up to the second rope, but IRS shakes the ropes, knocking him down. IRS pins Mabel, for the victory at 5:39.
While saying it could be much worse, it's still bad. Bad enough to slap a 1/2* on it and do my best to forget the whole thing. THE WHOLE THING.
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While Stan Lane does an interview with Lex Luger, we watch the video that led to Lex Luger not being able to make the King of the Ring proceedings tonight, as he lost to Jeff Jarrett. Crush attacked.
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Tatanka is facing Owen Hart in our third King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match...
- All that pink. Nice to see Owen. My cousin thinks that Tatanka will win, btw.
- Razor and IRS were fighting in the back, as Owen and Tatanka went to a chinlock. Good timing! Tatanka tries a sunset flip during his comeback, but Owen sits on him for the three count at 8:20.
Quite good. Better than I remembered as well. Tatanka's no **** guy, but he could work back in the day. Which was good, I mean, with that gimmick and all. **3/4.
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Todd Pettingill is with Shawn Michaels and Diesel, interviewing them before Diesel's big match later on. We flashback to their attack on Bret Hart during RAW a few weeks ago, as well.
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In our last King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match, we have Jeff Jarrett vs. The 1-2-3 Kid.
- Jarrett's ring attire is always really homosexual. The way Art Donovan asks about everyone is super annoying. Is it too much to ask that the guest commentator be educated about the product?
- Jarrett gives Kid a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX...awesome. If I was a wrestler, some variation of that would be my finisher. Kid pushed Jarrett off the top and crossbodied him for two, I haven't watched this in a while, but I was sure it was over. Jarrett tries a FIGURE-FOUR, but Kid cradles him for the win at 4:39. Jarrett attacks after the match...ONE PILEDRIVER. TWO PILEDRIVER. THREE PILEDRIVER. I believe the 1-2-3 Kid has died.
**1/2, post-match attack included. How could anyone not like that beatdown. I'll reference this beatdown later.
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A video for the New Generation shows up (also to be referenced later), and then, Bret Hart cuts a promo. Obviously, for the next match.
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Champion vs. Champion, Diesel (Intercontinental Champion) w/Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart w/Jim Neidhart for the World Wrestling Federation Championship.
- Bret's new theme debuts. Description of this match and others in the future that I find to be needing it will be more detailed. We'll see if Diesel carries his share of the load. After Diesel missed a charge and his knee rammed into the ringpost, Bret went to work. Really went to work. Shawn clotheslines Bret with the referees back turned, ending that. So Neidhart gives chase, but he can't catch Shawn.
- Diesel botches a bearhug, and winds up in Bret's guard on the canvas. OOPS, wrong form of entertainment. Bret misses a pescado, as the ten minute mark passes...
- Constant double teams on Bret follow, and with the referee distracted, Shawn loosens a turnbuckle pad. I suppose Diesel has carried his share of the load. Bret rams Diesel into the exposed turnbuckle, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER. Shawn's going nuts on the outside, and when Diesel gets out of the hold, he can't even do an Irish whip. That blown up. Bret gives Diesel a ROLLING BOSTON CRAB when Diesel stands over him, but Diesel makes the ropes. Diesel hits Neidhart and Shawn clocks Bret with a title belt, then Diesel elbowdrops Bret, for two. Neidhart runs in, and clotheslines Diesel after a JACKKNIFE on Bret, leading to a DQ win for Diesel at 22:51. Then Neidhart leaves, and Shawn piledrives Bret, leading to officials making their entry and forcing the heels to the back.
Epic carryjob from Bret here. No doubt Nash's best match to that point. ***1/2, even though he was blown up near the end.
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After Pettingill interviews Jerry Lawler, we have Razor Ramon vs. IRS in our first King of the Ring Semifinal Match.
- IRS cuts an awful promo, one the likes of which cannot even be repeated in seriousness. Geez, keep the guy away from the mic. One good thing about this, it's the end of Razor and IRS' little vendetta. Razor dominates a boring contest, and finishes with THE EDGE at 5:13.
*. Not bery fun.
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Todd Pettingill was supposed to interview the 1-2-3 Kid, but he didn't show up for the interview. HOWEVER, he made it to the ring for his King of the Ring Semifinal Match against Owen Hart.
- Owen gave Kid a baseball slide to start, which hurt Kid's neck even more. Then both guys go to war. Could you imagine if this match had gone, say, 12-15 minutes? Owen powerbombs Kid on a Kid rana attempt, and Owen locks in the SHARPSHOOTER. Kid gives at 3:38.
Wow, what a short little match. *** easy. Felt like WCW Nitro with the bumps and overall shortness.
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Stan Lane and Ted DiBiase are talking during a 900 line thing, then we have Yokozuna and Crush w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette vs. The Headshrinkers w/Captain Lou Albano and Afa for the WWF Tag Team Titles.
- Fatworld. Would it have been so hard to have the Steiners hold the belts longer or more often? Seriously, after the Bret/Owen breakup, have the Quebecers drop the belts. Not some bullshit with Men on a Mission. Not interested in this match, but I like this version of Crush much better. He's a tough dude.
- Lex Luger ran down and distracted Crush, but it didn't lead to a Headshrinker victory. Close though. Fatu superkicks Crush, and that does get the win at 9:34. Luger and Crush fight, and the Headshrinkers come in to help Luger get the best of it. Yay!
Who cares, really, just a throwaway matchup involving a makeshift team and a pile of shit team. *1/2. Meaningless.
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Todd Pettingill interviews Owen Hart before his match with Razor Ramon, in the King of the Ring Final. Nothing important was said.
- I like Razor's back suplex off the top. Owen backdrops him out on a RAZOR'S EDGE attempt, and the Anvil comes down to clothesline Razor. Uh...
- Owen comes off the top with a big elbowdrop, getting the pinfall win at 6:36.
Sizeable babyface reaction, not that I blame anyone. Owen was always very likeable, even during this phase. **1/4.
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While they're putting the boots to Razor, Raymond Rougeau is with Bret Hart, who doesn't really care about Owen's King of the Ring victory.
Coronation. Owen makes Todd Pettingill get on his knees, and then proclaims himself to be the KING OF HARTS!
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Finally, our main event, which exemplifies our NEW GENERATION. Jerry Lawler vs. Roddy Piper.
- Lawler talked trash, before Piper's bagpipe entrance. Lawler humiliated some kid on RAW, and Piper brings the kid with him to the ring. Piper came to kick ass, he says.
- This isn't as bad as I thought it would be. When I watched this show the first time around, I used my fast-forward button. A piledriver occurs, which has lost its impact after the four times it's been used earlier. Lawler has brass knuckles, hits Piper, as the referee is out. The kid keeps Lawler from getting the win, and Piper back suplexes Lawler for the win at 12:16.
Thank God that's over. A DUD for sure. Of course, I'm trying to be nice. That match was awful.
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Rating: Poor. A very poor outing from the WWF. Owen winning KotR is choice. The rest, blah.
Best Segment: Bret vs. Diesel. Strange with the Anvil and all.
Worst: Lawler vs. Piper. Duh.
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I'll review RAW and Nitro sometime soon.
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