Okay, gotta get this one out of the way. Looks good.

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Barry Windham and Mike Rotundaoaoaoaoaoaoa are introduced, prior to the Hardy Boys vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Titles.

 

- Matt and Jeff are obviously very over. Duh. Legwork on Matt begins the heat period. Actually, the no heat period. Funny how I'm watching this and Murdoch was just released. I'm indifferent to that news.

 

- Jeff tagged in, cleaned house, but Murdoch pushed him off the top rope. Cade pins Jeff after a sky high at 8:52. **. Okay match.

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King Booker and Queen Sharmell are in the back...I wasn't watching during the whole King Booker thing, but his accent is hilarious.

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We see an Eddie Guerrero video to fit in with the whole Night of Champions theme, then we've got Jimmy Wang Yang challenging for Chavo Guerrero's Cruiserweight Title.

 

- Another video was shown during the entrances, this one being a...DEAN MALENKO video. We saw him in the back as well, then, the match begins. Yang's gimmick is shit.

 

- Good back and forth action. Much aerial stuff, and Chavo hipblocking Yang into the buckle was pretty noice. Seems like we're building to a good ending.

 

- Yang misses a moonsault, but counters a Gory Bomb as well, so he doesn't get beaten as quickly. He still loses of course, after a frog splash to the back by Chavo at 9:15. ***1/4, highly entertaining, most of all, had a clean finish and no dumbness. Yeah, no dumbness.

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JR talks about the Vince McMahon blown up limo thing, and then we watch a video. Worst angle ever. Afterward, we see that there's a poll on WWE.com asking us who did it. Paul London's inclusion was LOL worthy.

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Prior to CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro for the vacant ECW Title, we got to see a Tazz highlight package. Oh wait, Taz. Not Tazz.

 

- Not much heat, cause, you know, we're in Houston. Bad Blood 2003 didn't have the noisiest crowd either.

 

- No GO TO SLEEP, but a Nitro swinging neckbreaker picks up the victory at 8:02. Okay. *1/2. Drab match, not a finish with impact...something I could've done without. Both seemed disinterested.

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Orton and Foley do a ridiculous fake tension bit in the back, honest to God, this is WWE at its worst. I don't buy segments like this. Nobody does. The best way to get through to the fans is have guys take chairshot after chairshot and have the wrestler delivering the chairshots lick the blood of his opponent, BJ Penn style. Or choke them out into unconsciousness while the officials stand aside because they're so terrified it'll happen to them. The pull-apart bullshit sucks, and so does trading barbs in the back. Why talk when you're standing close enough to kick the guy's ass? Makes no sense. Anyway, WWE's attempts at drama constantly keep me from becoming interested in their product. Brutal stuff.

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Ricky Steamboat is introduced, prior to Umaga vs. Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Championship.

 

- Too many champions going out first. Santino shakes Steamboat's hand prior to the contest. Nice touch. I guess I'll see how bad Santino is in ring, given that this will be longer than the usual two minute RAW match. Oh, wait. Guess not! Umaga gets DQ'd for excessive punching at 2:35. What the fuck? DUD thanks to that finish. Umaga squashes Santino after the bell. Obviously that was going to happen.

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Some dude says that Vince McMahon's "death" is under investigation...for fuck's sake.

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Magnum TA's in the crowd, as we watch Ric Flair vs. MVP for the United States Championship.

 

- MVP and Magnum did a bit of a faceoff. Nice touch there. A few elbows from MVP opened Flair up, but even some color couldn't save this match. It's not good. MVP pokes Flair in the eye, and gives him the PLAYMAKER, for the pinfall victory at 8:41. *. Really bad, but I feel obligated to give a star for Flair. But bad, like I said.

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Todd Grisham is with John Cena, who then argues with Edge. That was far better than the Orton/Foley segment. Anything's better than talking low and sounding like it's the most serious moment of your life. Which it is not.

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Rick Martel(!) and Tony Garea are in the crowd, to watch Jimmy Snuka and Sgt. Slaughter face Deuce and Domino w/Cherry for the WWE Tag Team Titles.

 

- Heels make fun of Martel and Garea prior to the match. Always nice to see Snuka though. If Snuka comes off the top, I'll mark.

 

- Problem is, Snuka can't run the ropes. Poor guy. No heat, bringing me to my next point. Only do shows with legends on them in the Northeast, St. Louis, or Chicago. WrestleMania fits too. Otherwise, don't. At least Slaughter can actually work. However, Snuka goes to the top, and his son reverses the crossbody for the win at 6:30. Nice touch. 1/2*. Heels attack afterward, until Martel and Garea make the save.

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Batista vs. Edge is a Last Chance World Heavyweight Title Match. Batista does not win, he does not get another shot at Edge while he's champion.

 

- Harley Race is in the crowd. Yeah, boy.

 

- Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Michael Cole's little nicknames for everyone? "Smackdown's Resident Redneck!" "The Ultimate Opportunist!" Hate that fucking guy. Not feeling this show, either. These two tried the rasslin for a little too long. Gotta brawl, yo.

 

- Business picked up after a little while, but Edge lowblowed Batista for the DQ at 12:47. **1/4. Dull all around.

 

Wait a second, Teddy Long comes out, and restarts the match. Fooled me. If Edge gets disqualified, he loses his title.

 

- So, uh, Edge speared Batista really early, but couldn't get the win. Batista gives Edge a powerbomb on the floor, but he gets counted out at 2:07. I must take something off on principle. Final rating for the match is *3/4. Lame ass match. Batista Bomb after the match...okay.

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Candice Michelle vs. Melina for the Women's Title...

 

- Good luck with this match. Terrible stuff. Candice wins with a spinwheel kick at 4:20. DUD. New champ, btw.

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Prior to this match, JBL wanted recognition. The ring announcer read a speech, and then, we've got...

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Bobby Lashley vs. Mick Foley vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker w/Queen Sharmell vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship. Non elimination, first man to get a decision wins. No DQ, no countout.

 

- Lashley stole Brock's ring jump explosives. Gay. Booker's pirouetting is so funny. LOL stuff. No heat at all for the entrances...I can't take it anymore.

 

- Everyone wants to beat up Orton. They do, and then Lashley does a TOPE onto everyone. Impressive. I don't like how they tease Lashley vs. Cena. Lashley is not Brock Lesnar.

 

- There's action all over the place, which heats the crowd up. Lashley gets F-U'd through a table, and after a while, Foley hits Lashley, Booker, and Cena with a chair. Orton stops Foley and punts him, good thing, he was next. Confusion ensues, and Cena hits the F-U on Foley for the win at 10:08. Biggest no duh of all the time. No question Foley was taking the fall. ***1/2. Was fun, but way too short to matter. Would've been better if longer. Cena up against the odds is worn out.

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Rating: Poor. Trying to be nice, but can't rate the show highly. It sucked. Period.

 

Best Segment: Basically every moment that the legends were on screen. Had I watched it live, would've been total mark time.

 

Worst Segment: Women's match. Nothing redeemable at all.

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Boston show from March 1989 is next. Unfortunately this show wasn't as good as it looked.