Well, here's what happened this week in case you've been living under a rock

-John Edwards admitted to an affair with a woman while his wife has cancer. Class act. I'm sure Newt thinks he's an amatuer though. That reminds me: what is it with politicians and ugly chicks? Why can't they take a page out of Kennedy's book and nail a hot chick? You guys are fucking politicians, you can get better pussy.

-Somebody was stabbed, killed, and decapitated on a bus in Manitoba. Westboro Baptist Church is there to tell people they are going to hell (really, I'm just apathetic towards these guys now. I've heard so much from them or about them that they are just old news), and or pals at PETA are behaving in the dignified way expected by running an add saying the guy's death is nowhere near as bad as killing an animal. Stay classy PETA.

-John McCain keeps running negative adds, alienating old fans in a way that Bill Clinton alienated old fans this year.

-Brett Farve got traded to the Jets-oh go away Brett. Seriously, go away, quit whining, quit crying, and quit being a little bitch. And for God's sake, it wouldn't kill you to shave more often. This has given ESPN even more reasons to suck as well, as if it weren't already possible.

-"Pineapple Express" is pretty awesome, though it didn't beat "The Dark Knight." Also, good to see Rosie Perez still getting work.

-R.I.P. Bernie Mac. You were the best thing about the "Ocean's" movies, and Milky is right when he says your role as "Officer Self-Hatred" in "Don't Be A Menace" is great.

-Finally: