That wasn't my only entry.
I almost posted this as a regular post on TSM or <the unnamed, quasi-hated other board> but I realized that stupid shit like this is what blogs were invented for. Or something.
So, I was watching Hogan Knows Best a few days ago. And the overrated daughter decided to spend a little Hulk-free time while on vacation in Key West. Yeah, shocker: a 16 year old wants some time away from her over-protective parents. Well, it turns out that the daughter was gone longer than the Hulkster & his wife would have wanted. Which leads to string of terrific unintentional comedy.
First, Hogan & his wife freak out that the daughter is "alone" (and I'll revisit that in a bit) and act like she's 5 and unable to get back to their hotel room. Hulk, she's 16. When I was 16 my mother trusted me enough to take the train to NYC to see a show at CBGB's and back again that night. Next, they call the police to report her missing. You just KNOW the cop was like "She's only been 'missing' for 3 hours, Hulkster." To make things even better, Hogan & the wife hop into their little rented golf cart and drive around calling for her & whistling like she's a lost puppy. "Broooo-oooke, where are you?" and 'whistle-whistle' are NOT normal ways to find your teenaged daughter.
And when things didn't seem they could get any better, Brooke returns and Hogan lectures her. "Looking like you do..." and "With who you are..." like she's someone even remotely famous. You could ask 100 people who 'Brooke Hogan' is, and 98 of them would have no idea. You could show 100 people her picture and 99 of them would have no idea who she is. She's NOT famous for anything other than that show. And - I hate to sound like an ephebophile but - Brooke's getting less attactive every year. She was hotter as a 15 year old, before she started looking like her mother. While I'll admit looking like mom is preferable to the Hulkster ... it's still not that hot. If I was going to be acting leacherously towards anyone on the beaches of Key West, it's not going to be the peroxide blonde that's average looking at best.
And, as promised, I'll get back to being "alone" in Key West ... she's on fucking TV. She has a boom operator like 6 feet away, and a guy with a big-ass camera not much further than that, and Hulkamania is running wild about this being a "missing person incident". I think it'd be kind of hard to kill, kidnap or rape a girl with a camera crew filming the incident. I'm hoping ... strike that, praying ... that they're freaking out because it makes for good TV. Because if they're really so idiotic as to act that way over such a small incident, well, let's just say that Brooke might as well join a convent now and get it over with.
Man, maybe I should have quit after the first entry.
5 Comments
Recommended Comments