28.

No, this isn't the good type of Penis...

 

6) Venus Williams wins 2005 Wimbledon.

The regular sports fan, and even some of the smarter tennis fans, often ask me why I was in uber-bitch mode after 2005 Wimbledon.

"But, Venus is still like one of the best players in the world." No, she isn't.

"Maria won in 2004, and you hate her guts!" Yes, but this was a million times worse.

"VEE REE R NUMBA #1" Fuck you. Die.

By no means am I a Williams' hater like so many people out there. I appreciated their games from 1999-2004. They worked hard to be the best in the world, and used their impeccable talents to dominate the game. Yes, when they faced each other in 4 straight grand slam finals, it was very ugly tennis to watch... but, hell if I know how it feels to face your sister in situations like that.

The problems ensued in 2005... and not with Serena winning the Australian Open that year. That was a deserved win... despite Lindsay Davenport sucking and blowing in a grand slam for the 1242th time.

It started in the Miami QF with Serena, and older sister, Penis. Penis was really struggling at the time, and soon to drop out of the Top 20. And Serena blatantly tanked said match, so Penis wouldn't drop off the face of the earth. Not that the Willies' haven't done these sorts of things for each other before... but, this was telling.

Telling because Penis didn't give a fuck.

Fast forward to Roland Garros 2005. Watch Penis lose to Sesil Karatancheva. More specifically, watch that 3rd set. The absolute worst tennis I've ever seen from a professional player.

Being a tennis instructor, I know some things. And it was obvious that Penis hardly practiced. You don't miss groundstrokes like that by accident.

Then, 2 weeks later at Wimbledon... Penis is about to go down to one of the worst players on tour in the early rounds, but barely survives. The bad thing is that this gave her some practice, and some confidence. And her future opponents, including slug Lindsay Davenport choked against Penis in the final, and the unthinkable happens.

A player who barely tries, and plays half-ass, wins the biggest tournament of the year.

This still pisses me off. I know a few of the girls on tour. They bust their ass 365 days a year to try and survive on tour. And this bitch just waltzes in, and wins it all.

Proving life isn't fair. And hard work doesn't always matter.

As of 2006, it looks like the Williams' may finally be retired. They're a sad story. Even moreso, Serena than Venus... because we should be speaking of Serena in the same breath as legends like Navratilova and Graf, with Serena's unmatched talents.

But, I guess it's more important to be a crack ho, or being an F-list "actress", than using these talents.

That's why it's hard to be a tennis fan, sometimes. If the players don't give a shit, why should the fans?