SWF Battleground 2

April 1, 2002

[The arena is shrouded in darkness...

Suddenly "Bombtrack" by Rage Against the Machine starts to play as a barage of multi-coloured pyros scream down from the rafters and explode on the stage. Finally a row made up of 6 massive white pyros explode across the stage and the words "Battleground 2" appear on the tron.

After a few seconds the lights return, scan an excited audience then zoom in on the announcer's table...]

Curry - Here we are at the second ever edition of SWF "Battleground" and what an extravaganza it will be!

NTD - Yeah! I even wore my festive PPV cock-ri--

Curry - Jesus...if you don't put on some pants, I'm going to start going pantless too!

NTD - Oh God no! I'll be good, just don't expose me to that horror!

Curry - Grumble...anyways, on with the show!

April 1, 2002

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Spider Nekura & Thoth © vs. The Prophet & Savior

- Since agreeing to protect the commissioner’s wife, the Clan and Enlightenment have come into conflict several times. This Sunday the Clan will defend their tag team titles…

HARDCORE TITLE MATCH

Mistress Sarah © vs. Longdogger Pete

- It looked like Longdogger Pete and the Boston Strangler were destined to face each other for the hardcore title at Battleground. That is until Sarah returned, beat Longdogger in a #1 contenders match then defeated Strangler to become a 3-time hardcore champ. Obviously Pete isn’t happy about the wrench Sarah tossed into his plans and will try to take her hardcore title this Sunday…

Match Description – Regular DQ and count-out rules are not in effect. Pinfalls, submissions and knockouts count anywhere within the arena.

3-WAY ELIMINATION US TITLE MATCH

Jay Dawg © vs. K-Os vs. Lady Red

- After beating Xstasy in an upset and winning the US title, a perhaps overconfident Jay Dawg issued an open US title challenge. It looks like two wrestlers unknown to SWF audiences have accepted the challenge. Will one of these two Clan members be able to win the prestigious US title in their first match in the SWF?

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect. When a wrestler is eliminated via pinfall, submission or knockout the match they must leave ringside. The last surviving member of the match is the new US champ.

2 FALL MATCH FOR THE LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE AND #1 CONTENDERSHIP OF THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

El Luchadore Magnifico © vs. Fallout

- While there’s been no exploding semis or kidnapped wives involved, these two have been carrying on a fairly heated feud for the past month. A little over a week Magnifico defeated Fallout and ended his record setting LHW title reign. This Sunday Fallout looks to even the score.

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect. The first fall is for the Light-heavyweight championship. The second is for the #1 contendership of the SWF heavyweight title.

ICTV TITLE MATCH

Edwin MacPhisto © vs. Sacred

- Well…Sacred’s evil and Edwin’s the personification of good. Oh…plus Sacred stole Edwin’s theme music and hit him with a plastic bowl. The dastard! A more classic SWF feud there never was…

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE SWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Hville Thugg © vs. Xstasy vs. Mark Stevens

- After Xstasy split with Thugg’s stable Da’ Pound they’ve been embroiled in an intense feud. In addition to attacking each other with heavy equipment, trading several wins and attacking each other’s family, it’s been revealed that Thugg actually tried to kill Xstasy several months back! Mark Stevens is cashing in his guaranteed rematch, and the heat between he and Thugg has been building steadily. This should be one of the best heavyweight title matches in a while…

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect. The first one to score a pinfall, submission or knockout is the winner.

April 1, 2002

The smoke from the fireworks has barely cleared as Funyon grabs a mic and starts heading into the ring. He wears a tux, a level of formalness above his usual sport jacket, in awareness of SWF Battleground 2, Pay Per View Extravaganza Extraordinaire. The arena fades to black as mist flows from the back, and a voice, a familiar voice, says, “The Enlightenment is Here...” “By Myself” by Linkin Park begins to play, wasting no time in hitting the power chords.

“The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the S-W-F Tag Team Championship!”

Dressed in black robes with red trim, The Prophet, Tyler McClelland, and the enigmatic, mysterious Saviour emerge from the back to a smattering of boos.

“The motives of these two is still unclear,” says Curry Man, somewhat wistfully. “After an unsuccessful kidnapping and brainwashing attempt, they’ve been floundering around, but now, now for some reason, they’re poised to strike... but at what?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Curry Man?” The Spicy One shakes his head, to which NTD responds with a glee, “Bad fashion! The Enlightenment believes that they wear the better robes, and are a better example of goth-evil fashion than the Clan. Thoth and Spider Nekura defend their titles not only in the Smarks Wrestling Federation, but in style sense as well!”

“Introducing first,” says Funyon, “at an undisclosed combined weight, the Prophet and the Saviour... THE ENLIGHTENMENT!”

Curry Man is stunned speechless by NTD’s argument, which either is incredibly stupid, or one of the most intelligent things he has said, as the two members of the influential Enlightenment remove their robes. Though it’s obvious who the Prophet’s identity is, as Tyler McClelland does not hide his face, the Saviour wears a mini-robe, meant for wrestling, under his entrance robe. It’s also meant not to come lose in the heat of battle, as he is not quite ready to reveal his identity to the world that could scorn him.

The scratching, ubiquitously loud riffs of Linkin Park fade into the fleeting, haunting, yet round beat of Dj Foxxx’s “You Were.” The arena dips into darkness, with white flashes randomly illuminating the crowd, if just for a moment.

“What’s wrong, motherfucker, you were a man just a minute ago...”

BOOM the bass drops in, and a spotlight illuminates Spider Nekura and Thoth.

“And their opponents, weighing in at 467 pounds, they are the S-W-F Tag Team Champions... Spider Nekura and Thoth... THE CLAN!”

The Clan adds two more members to their major league roster tonight, as K-Os and Lady Red won their contracts in a SJL Tournament. They face Jay Dawg in a title match. Funny... I never thought JD would be on the other side of a title match, but eh.”

“But eh? But eh? Curry, joining Da Pound was a great career move. Of course title gold will come with it!”

The Saviour and the Prophet stand afar as Thoth and Nekura enter the ring, and remove their robes. The whole thing is rather anticlimactic, but the crowd is in anticipation of what is to come.

*DING DING DING*

Thoth remains in the ring as Nekura steps out to the apron. On the other side of the ring, the Saviour remains out while Tyler McClelland accepts the silent challenge. Thoth and the Prophet circle each other, the latter making use of his ungodly speed to oscillate back and forth along the circular path, yet still manage to give chase to the Balancer. Everything has the effect of confusion, which gives the former Outcast the wherewithal to get in close and land a blow to the chest. Thoth grits his teeth and takes a step back from the impact. Prophet follows up with a spinning kick to the collarbone, which puts Thoth up to the ropes. Prophet tosses him to the far side, them hunches down in anticipation of the pain he will deliver. Off the rebound, Thoth charges, as McClelland spins his body into a hard right that never connects! Thoth ducks as he passes under the velocity-assisted punch and leans into the ropes as they thrust him back towards his foe. “High leg clothesline!” calls play-by-play man Curry Man, as the Prophet falls back into the embrace of the mat. Thoth crawls over in the hopes of a cover, but Prophet is too fresh and too quick. In fact, he’s on his feet before Thoth, and the Prophet lays in a harsh, roundhouse kick to the temple.

“Oof! Wind Kick by the quick-as-nails Prophet,” calls Curry Man. “Faster than any man in the SWF, he’s going to be able to dominate the pace of this match, and call in the Saviour when necessary.”

“I’ll tell ya,” adds NTD, “There doesn’t seem to be any discernible weaknesses in the Saviour. In fact, he makes me hornier than anyone else that’s stepped through the SWF ring in recent memory, which speaks volumes about his potential...”

“... in bed?” asks Curry Man.

“... in bed!” replies NTD.

Prophet brings Thoth to his feet, pulling on his long hair while laying in weak punches to keep him subdued. He hooks his arm around Thoth’s neck, and wasting no time, drives Thoth like a railroad spike into the canvas. Thoth flops over onto his back, and Tyler McClelland floats into the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

Kickout by Thoth. The Prophet leans over and looks into Thoth’s half-closed eyes. Shaking his head in mild frustration, he looks toward his corner and sees the Saviour awaiting the tag. Prophet breaks contact with his foe and gets up, walking a few paces, then leaning over and making the tag to the enigmatic Saviour. Blanketed by a hood, Saviour walks fully upright, looking down at Thoth, who quickly recovers to his feet. Saviour rears back, and lands a hard punch that grazes Thoth’s eye. The Balancer stumbles back and blinks hard, but stays upright. Saviour with another punch, this one spins Thoth around. The Clannite finds his footing, and turns into another of The Saviour’s punches - no! Thoth blocks and jams two fingers deep into the under recesses of the hood, under the chin. The Saviour reels, grabbing at his neck and chin, and more importantly, letting go of Thoth. The Balancer comes off the ropes, getting some air and draping a leg over The Saviour’s neck. Guillotine Face Driver! Thoth leans into the cover and hooks the leg...

ONE!

TWO!

Quick shoulder up from Saviour. “So far, the Saviour hasn’t been too effective... but one gets the feeling that he’s hiding something,” mentions Curry Man. Thoth brings Saviour to his feet, and sends him to the far side... only to find himself running! On the rebound, Saviour swings a clothesline, but Thoth ducks, continuing through to the far side, and running into a hunched over Saviour, who bends up quickly, using his latissimus muscle to lift Thoth up and over, falling almost 7 feet to the canvas.

“What a move from the Saviour! He actually moved in closer to the ropes to throw off Thoth’s mental timing!” Curry Man’s realization comes about the same time as Thoth’s, as the Balancer’s eyes flicker suddenly. Saviour lays in a boot to the face on the downed Thoth. He points an accusing, a threatening finger towards Spider Nekura. Picking Thoth up by his hair, he tosses him towards his corner, practically begging Nekura into the ring to face him. The founder of the Clan wastes no time accepting. He slaps the chest of his worn protege, and steps through the ropes, approaching slowly at first, then picking up the pace, leaping up to get a better shot at Saviour, shoving his wrist into his battle-hood. Saviour is no slouch, striking back. They trade blows in the middle of the ring, sweat being knocked off each of their faces as the crowd comes alive. Gritting his teeth, and wincing through the pain, Nekura throws his punches even harder, stunning the Saviour. An Irish whip sends the Saviour running, and Spider’s arms send him into a tilt-a-whirl. Nekura sticks a knee out and drops the Saviour’s back across it. Bouncing off, the hooded one rolls onto his stomach, his hand reaching back, trying to apply pressure on the affected area. The Sadist smiles as he crosses Saviour’s legs, pinning them together with his foot. Turning around so he faces away, Spider lets himself fall back, and starts to lock the hooded head next to him in a cross-face.

“The Web! The Web by Spider Nekura! Yes!” squeals NTD with delight. The fans pop, especially those with the “cult following.” It doesn’t last long; the Prophet, Tyler McClelland, drops a quick knee across the bridge of the nose of the Sadist. He lets go, and as the Saviour rolls to the side, coughing and finding his breath, the Spider talks the Prophet, who slides under the bottom rope, just out of Spider’s grasp, as the Clannite finds out firsthand. Thoth hops off his perch on the apron, and jogs around the corner, breaking into a full-on sprint when he has a direct line with the Prophet. He hopes to tackle the diminutive Prophet, who almost looks emaciated, into the steel guardrail, but the former Outcast turns his head into the direction of the commotion, and dashes out of the way in the nick of time - Thoth travels shoulder-first into the cold, unbending steel. The guardrail moves a foot into the crowd, but that’s nothing compared to the pain Thoth’s feels in his side. The Prophet drags Thoth out of the steel, and with a grin of twisted pleasure on his face, smacks Thoth’s forehead against the top of that same guardrail. Thoth closes his eyes and holds his hand to his forehead as he tries to walk away; not knowing where he is going. He just wants to walk away, from the pain that he has just felt. He tries breathing in through his nose, giving some life to the bridge of the nose that was slammed across the guardrail. From behind, Prophet palms his head like a basketball, and shoves it into the nearest steel ring pole. From behind, Thoth can vaguely hear one or the other commentators mention Thoth’s current status of being manhandled. Thoth just wishes it would end, and Tyler McClelland is there to make sure it won’t.

Back in the ring, Spider looks on with concern and dismay as Thoth is systemically dismantled. Suddenly, his grip on reality is rattled as from behind, the Saviour attempts a schoolboy roll-up! “From behind!” shouts Curry Man, after the fact, as the ref slides into position...

ONE!

TWO!

TH- Spider Nekura kicks up and out of the predicament, and charges forward, grabbing an arm and hurling the Saviour towards the corner. The mysterious one goes for the ride, his back slamming hard against the buckles. Nekura charges in, wielding a fist with bad intentions, but the Saviour gets a boot up, knocking Nekura for a loop. The Saviour hops up onto the top turnbuckle, looking to take the Sadist down from the air, but Nekura, by accident or not, in his daze, falls into the ropes nearby where Saviour is standing.

“What a weird, lucky break for Spider Nekura! I don’t think he meant to do that,” says Curry Man.

“Score one for dark, gothic fashion,” adds NTD. Nekura looks to his right, shrugging off the boot to the face, and sees the Saviour in a compromised position. He ambles over slowly, wary of any other comebacks the Saviour might have in store. Grabbing an arm, Nekura turns away from his hooded foe. Then, with a jolt of energy from his muscles, he heaves the Saviour up and over, and down onto the mat in a breathtaking Crucifix Iconoclasm that leaves the ropes shaking and the crowd cheering not for either person, but for the athleticism for the move. “The Clan’s going to have it!” squeals NTD as Nekura leans over and pulls a leg back for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

T- No, easy kickout from the Saviour. Some of the crowd is in awe as they have just seen the Saviour kick out of a sometimes match-ending Crucifix Iconoclasm as easily as one might kick out of a generic vertical suplex. Saviour claws air as he finds his way to his feet, with Nekura on top of him like a predatory animal, landing straight punches and uppercuts, trying to put down the Saviour, but he will have none of it, shoving the founder of the Clan back, and laying into him with brutal right hands, before sending him with fury into the ropes. Nekura comes back and the Saviour lifts him into a fireman’s carry. He walks around the ring with him on his shoulders, and the crowd gasps. “Something big coming up here...” says Curry Man, trailing off, as the Saviour tires of showing off...

And drops Spider Nekura in a Death Valley Driver!

“DVD! DVD! Yes! I love saying that! DVD!” NTD shouts with joy as Spider lands hard on the points of his spine. The Saviour’s eyes are bulging from hate as he looks to his corner and sees the Prophet in position for the tag. He walks over, shaking his head slightly, and brings in an eager and ready Tyler McClelland. The Prophet enters, yelling threats and insults, landing a stomp, or a hard kick to the side, as he travels round the ring, shouting at random people in the crowd, trying to prove his machismo.

“This is a very un-standard matchup; The Clan and the Prophet are both hated by the crowd, and it seems that whoever has the upper hand is hated more.”

“I guess people really like an underdog,” responds NTD. “Underdog... something something something... Bah! I forgot all the words to that song!”

“Did Underdog even have a theme song?” replies Curry Man?

“Did he...?”

Somewhere in America, a baby cries. The Prophet continues to keep Spider down without taking any attempt to hurt him enough to pin him, but just enough to keep him down. On the outside, Thoth fights the pain of the air rushing against his pulverized ribs, and the dragging and punishing force of gravity to pull himself to a level height with the apron. He sees the steel stairs off to the side, and fighting pain, he walks up them, stepping loudly onto the cheaply corrugated steel, taking his rightful place on the apron. However, panting heavily, his tongue almost hanging out, Thoth is in no position to make the tag.

Grinning from ear to ear, the Prophet pulls Spider to his feet. Right hook, left uppercut... and a straight, stiff kick to the jaw. Many people in the crowd and watching through Pay Per View television recognize that as one of the Prophet’s favorite Wind Combos. Spider Nekura falls back hard into the mat hard as a result of the kick, and Thoth grimaces, as that is the first thing he sees upon his return to his corner. The former Outcast grins from ear to ear as he hooks the leg.

ONE!

TWO!

TH- Kickout by Nekura. The Prophet sits up for a moment, then leans back down into the cover, jamming his forearm into Spider’s face, disorienting him as the referee counts the second fall:

ONE!

TWO!

Spider finds the wherewithal to kick out once more. Prophet balls his fist and tenses his arm in anger; every time Spider Nekura kicks out, it tells Prophet that his offense is not good enough to win the match. He pulls Spider up to his feet, and hits a Wind Kick to the temple, dropping him efficiently. The Prophet scowls, reaching reflexively behind him to pull the hood over his head. However, there is no robe, so Prophet continues unabated, going out to the apron of a neutral corner and climbing it, seeing the canvas below stretch out before him. He blinks, looking out at the crowd.

“The Prophet, Tyler McClelland, is looking to put this one away, and win some gold for the Enlightenment!”

“Not to mention fashion!”

Inhaling suddenly, he takes to the air and stretches his body out, looking to drop 162 pounds threateningly across the prone Spider Nekura. He reaches the peak of his jump and starts to fall... fall... fall...

...

He connects! Frantically, the Prophet reaches out and hooks the leg, and the ref counts:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- No! No! Kickout by Nekura! The Saviour looks frustratingly aside as Thoth stares harder at the situation, frowning. The Prophet frowns, then yells at the ref to count faster. Spider rolls over to his side, coughing; 162 pounds coming off the top rope isn’t enough to put him away. Prophet hops up to his feet, quickly, angrily, and stomps away at the downed Nekura, then goes up top again to the same turnbuckle. The Saviour shouts at him to stop, to get off, but his pleas fall on deaf ears, as the defiant Prophet climbs the ropes, and flies out, bending backwards, holding to senton Spider Nekura out of existence... but the crowd buzzes... then comes alive as the Prophet misses, his back slamming against the canvas! Nekura rolls aside in the nick of time! Feeling a chance to make a comeback, Nekura wills the pain out of the marrow in his bones, and gets up. Prophet is making a quick recovery, hoping to compensate for his last mistake; he turns around...

Into the waiting arms of the sadistic founder of the Clan! Spider grabs his from behind, and hooks an arm under the Prophet’s shoulder, palming the back of his head! He lifts with his other arm, tossing the Prophet with all that he has back overhead, with no regard to where he lands! Spider’s adrenaline rush gives out has he crumples over onto his knees, but the Prophet is not so lucky, crashing into the neutral corner.

“Spider Suplex from the leader of the Clan!” screams Curry Man. “Both men desperately need to make a tag!” Spider pushes himself up and looks toward his corner: Thoth is reaching out, reaching out as far as he can to make the tag. Saviour, dumbstruck at the Prophet’s foolhardiness, nevertheless reaches out to his partner. Both men start crawling towards their corners, towards salvation... but whoever reaches first will have the advantage. The crowd is cheering, but as Curry Man notes, “It’s unclear who the crowd is supporting, or if both competitors are getting mixed reactions. Like we mentioned before, this is an unusual matchup, with no clear favorites.”

“Or,” adds NTD, “In the language of the Smarks, the lack of a clear babyface team in the match gives the fan a difficult point to cheer from. Of course, that doesn’t mean this match can’t generate heat.”

“Kee-hrist, NTD, what are you trying to do? Kill the business?”

“No... diversify! We’re with the Smarks now! We have to appeal to the right audience!”

Both men are still down, crawling towards their respective corners. A ten-count is in place, but it is moot; both men are going to make tags. Spider inches closer, he’s going to make the first tag... no, Prophet’s picking up the pace... who’s it gonna be...

...

The Saviour is tagged in! He charges towards the downed Spider Nekura, cutting him off at the pass...

...

But he’s too late! Spider Nekura tags in Thoth, who’s covered and is read to do inflict a horrible, rage-induced pain! He charges towards Saviour, who is more than happy to oblige him! They trade vicious, unforgiving right hands, neither man gaining the advantage. The fight across the ropes, they fight into the corners, and the crowd is going nuts! Thoth swings a right, but the Saviour blocks! He fires a return right hand, but Thoth blocks, and swings a back kick that Saviour evades, leaning back! Thoth backpedals the length of the ring, giving himself room to work. He inhales deeply, then extends his right arm its full length, palm out. His left arm is drawn in towards his body. Fighting stance assumed, he stares at Saviour, beckoning him with the slightest of nods. With one sudden movement, the Saviour stands in a stance of a style that the Prophet, Tyler McClelland, uses. Thoth smirks, and Saviour returns it; their battle has just moved into a different mode.

“Thoth and the Saviour have assumed what appears to be martial arts stances... Thoth has used martial arts in the past, sparingly, and it could be assumed that what the Prophet knows, the Saviour knows too,” says Curry Man, trying to focus on the match at hand, and doing his announcing job as an afterthought. The Saviour takes a step forward, then stops, waiting for Thoth to make the next move. Thoth blinks, bends forward and down a bit, then charges. A better description would be “shuffles his feet forward really fast,” as Thoth keeps one foot in front of the other at all times in order to preserve balance. Within striking distance now, Thoth lunges with his left arm, the one tucked in close to his body, trying to land a blow onto Saviour’s torso. The mysterious hooded one sucks in and dodges aside, but he can feel the heat and wind from Thoth’s feint. The crowd “Ooh’s” as the Saviour crouches, then comes over with a side kick, aiming for Thoth’s face and chest. The side of Saviour’s boot makes contact, and Thoth goes down, but lightly. Thoth sweeps out under him, trying to take the Saviour down at the feet. The mysterious hooded man, falls back, but manages to compensate, landing on his hands, and springing back up.

“Wow, what an exchange from these-”

“Hold on, Curry Man, they’ve just gotten started!”

Thoth wastes no time on the offensive, lunging forward with a punch, the knuckles glistening and extended, right for the Saviour’s heart. Saviour manages to grab the fist, and shove it aside, but just as soon, Thoth fires another blow, which Saviour has to throw aside. Relatively defenseless, Saviour is a sitting duck for the kick to the knee and shin that takes him down to one leg. The crowd cheers at the outcome of the battle, not for Thoth, but for the fact that someone, anyone, has gained the upper hand. Saviour falls back as Thoth, grinning, laughing now, evilly, grabs the hood and pulls to find...

...

A ski mask. Thoth frowns, gritting his teeth, as the crowd slumps back into their seats, hoping for a revelation at this big Pay Per View event. Undaunted, Thoth reaches under the bottom of the ski mask, wrapping his fingers around the fabric, but the Saviour kicks him off, hard, spinning him 180 degrees, then gets up quickly, and lays in a sledgehammer-style double axhandle to his back. Saviour dispenses with the martial arts, and grabs him from behind, hooking Thoth’s arm around his head, and slamming him with a high-angled backdrop. Thoth exhales through clenched teeth as the makes contact, then flops over onto his stomach. Prophet cheers on his mysterious mentor from his corner as the Saviour brings Thoth up, lifting him up at his sides, then brings one of his knees out, and drops Thoth’s... pelvis... among other things... down across it. With a satisfying bounce-away, Thoth is clawing at his jewels as Saviour shoves his shoulders down for a violent lateral press.

ONE!

TWO!

THR- No, Thoth with the shoulder up. Saviour gets to his feet, pulling Thoth with him. He grabs the Balancer’s arm, then yanks him in, giving Thoth an up-close view of a clothesline. Thoth gets turned inside out, viewing the arena lights as he rotates around an axis of pain.

“Thoth is getting manhandled right now by this Saviour. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that the Saviour is no stranger to the SWF,” comments Curry Man.

“I agree,” adds NTD, “Though I don’t like the ski mask, the Saviour has a keen fashion sense that could only have been sharpened in the confines of the SWF ring.”

The Saviour steps on Thoth’s head and applies pressure... more pressure... painful pressure, Thoth starts screaming, though he wouldn’t admit to that... he would rather say he was trying to force the foot off of him. The Saviour looks out at the crowd, smiling at them condescendingly. They’ll never understand...

Thoth grabs the ankle above the offending post, and tosses the Saviour onto his hip. With pain in his neck and a desire to win, Thoth lifts himself off of the rough, yet inviting canvas, and manages to rise to a hunched over, mouth half open position. Saviour is relentless though, charging with an arm extended, with designs to decapitate one half of the tag champs with his bare hands. Thoth drops, catching the Saviour in a drop toe hold. He scoots around, locks in a front chancery... but the Saviour lurches up, and with bad intentions, he starts dashing forward, hoping to ram Thoth against something in the ring. Thoth looks behind himself as he is forced to backpedal, the force of the Saviour almost too much to bear... so he lets go, and with a push in the right direction, the Saviour goes shoulder-first into the steel pole.

“What a lucky break for Thoth!” Curry Man screams, as Thoth reaches up and schoolboys the Saviour over.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- No! The Prophet runs in and drops a forearm, breaking up the pin! He dashes back towards his corner, and before Thoth can even react, Tyler McClelland is stepping through the ropes back to his corner. Thoth realizes it useless to pursue the Prophet, and so turns his attentions back to the Saviour. He hooks him for a suplex, quickly, snaps him over. Thoth brings to his feet, and across his battered and torqued face, is a glimmer. Not of happiness or hope, these things are not known to this dark warrior. Nevertheless, there is something different about Thoth as he goes to the outside.

“Thoth looks like he’s going to go for the finishing blow, just look into his eyes!”

“I think his eyes are saying, ‘Boy, I wish that I could deal with colors other than red and black. I am so fashion challenged’”, says NTD.

“Pantsless One, did you... did you just lisp?”

“Did I?” NTD raises an eyebrow that would shake the foundations of Curry Man’s perceptions of him for many days to come. But all eyes are on Thoth as he stands taller than anyone else in the ring, and when he rises to his full height, flashbulbs start to go off. Thoth takes to the air, tucking himself into a neat ball, his knees sticking out like two rounded points that reflected just a little bit of light, and as Thoth starts to dip, the world accelerates, speeds up back to a normal pace, and the moment of impact is inches away...

...

He connects! He bounces up and away an inch, and then, his mind catching up with the rest of his body, he leans over and makes the cover, hooking the leg as hard as he can...

ONE!

TWO!

THREE... NO! NO! The crowd gasps in awe as the Saviour digs down deep, and gets the shoulder off the mat! “How in the world did he kick out of that?” says an exasperated Curry Man, and it is for sure what is on everyone’s mind in that arena. Including Thoth, who, through strands of sweat streaking down his body, and with pupils as wide as dinner plates, is staring a burning hole right through Defiance itself. He looks around at his situation; Spider Nekura is back on his feet, and looks consciousness enough to fight. The Prophet, Tyler McClelland, at 162 pounds, is still a scary force. But Thoth can feel it in his marrow, he can feel the momentum shift one final time. The veins in the Prophet’s arms bulge uncontrollably; he can feel it too. His legs shake involuntarily as Thoth, with resignation written and drawn on his face, brings the Saviour to his feet and scoops him up. Instantly the crowd starts cheering. They know what’s coming.

“Riot of the Blood!” Curry Man screeches. “Thoth is trying to put this one away for the Clan!”

Thoth has a good bit of trouble trying to get the Saviour up, much less hook the leg; he stumbles forward, trying to keep in control of the weight he has lifted. Predictably, the Prophet comes in, laying in a stiff kick to Thoth’s spine. Thoth drops the Saviour, but Spider Nekura runs in, to the rescue, and takes Prophet over the top rope with a clothesline that has enough force to take the Sadist over as well. The Saviour gets to his feet, and is greeted with a view of the back of Thoth. He grins, seeing Thoth’s distraction. He spins the Balancer around, boots him in the gut. Doubled over, Thoth’s head is shoved between the Prophet’s legs. The Prophet, with a heave, a final heave, brings Thoth up overhead, looking to bomb him straight through the ring, straight to hell.

“By god, I can’t watch!” screams NTD. “Thoth’s gonna die!”

Saviour releases...

But Thoth bends back! That strap of fabric that runs between the knees of his pants has caught around the Saviour’s neck! HURRICANRANA! The Saviour is flown headlong, but gets up quickly, albeit dizzy! He spins around... walking right back into Thoth! Thoth inhales deeply, and exhales as he lifts Saviour’s heavy form... and cradles the leg! With no further preparation, he drops to his knees!

“THOTH HIT IT! THOTH HIT RIOT OF THE BLOOD!” screams Curry Man. The fans go nuts, as Thoth drops to his hands and knees, then seeing the Saviour laid out in front of him, moves a few inches, and collapses on top of his foe.

ONE!

The Prophet takes Spider Nekura down with a kick to the temple, then turns to the ring and sees the fall being counted!

TWO!

He rushes in under the bottom rope, and raises up, dropping an axhandle on top of Thoth...

...

But he’s to late! THREE!

*DING DING DING*

“You Were” plays, plays in finality, to signal that this battle is over by the closest of calls. The Prophet starts stomping away on Thoth, but Spider Nekura rolls back into the ring, and trades blows with the Prophet, before knocking him over the top rope with another clothesline. The Prophet lands on his feet, and the Saviour manages to roll out towards the Prophet, and stand with help from his protege. Funyon brings the tag belts into the ring, and makes the announcement.

“Here are your winners, and STILL! S-W-F Tag Team champions... Spider Nekura and Thoth!”

“What a lucky win from the Clan!” exclaims Curry Man. “The Prophet just missed the save, but it’s enough to give the dark duo the dupe.”

“It looks like the Clan are still the champions of dark, gothic fashion. And after that ski mask ensemble from the Saviour, it’s easy to see why!”

The Prophet and the Saviour walk backwards up the ramp, glaring all the way as Thoth and Spider remain in the ring, silent, each man holding a belt. Thoth points out towards the Enlightenment, and the Saviour, even in his state, points back. Neither man smiles.

“It looks like this isn’t quite over, NTD.”

“No, but this match is! Up next, Jay Dawg defends his... title... against the two newest SWF recruits... and surprise! They both answer to the Clan! Lady Red, and K-Os!”

The Enlightenment disappears behind the curtain...

April 1, 2002

[spider and Thoth breath heavily in the ring…the tag team titles still around their waists as the crowd boos loudly. Suddenly “Guerilla Radio” hits the speakers and Stubby P. McWeed appears on the stage.]

NTD – Bah…more Rage Against the Machine?

Curry – Quit bitching…maybe they’ll use an N’Sync song for the next PPV…

NTD – They’d better.

[As the fans cheer their arses off, the commissioner strides down the ramp (without the fancy pyro that used to accompany him as a wrestler) then slides into the ring. He has a mic with him and the tag champs shoot him some inquiring looks…]

Stubby – So you managed to retain the titles eh? Good, good…but you know what’s a little disappointing?

[spider and Thoth look at each other and shrug.]

Stubby – That you didn’t cheat to win. Oh sure…you had the regular low-blows and whatnot, but nothing really, terribly blatant.

[Thoth grabs Stubby by the wrist and pulls the microphone towards his mouth.]

Thoth – What’re you ta—

[stubby yanks his arm away then turns his back on the confused Clan members…]

Stubby – You see, that would have made things easy. I could have just stripped you two of the titles, but now you’ve forced me to change plans…

[stubby whirls around and tosses a handful of powder straight into Thoth’s eyes! As Thoth stumbles back an unprepared and exhausted Spider charges forward and attempts a clothesline. Stubby easily ducks the clumsy attack, spins around then boots Spider in the stomach as he turns.

Spider doubles over and Stubby drives him into the canvas with a stiff DDT, gets to his feet then grabs the fallen Clan leader’s tag title belt. By now Thoth has cleared a good deal of the powder from his eyes and is staggering towards Stubby who whirls around then crushes Spider’s title belt into his skull, dropping him to the mat. Stubby stands over his fallen victims and resumes speaking…]

Stubby – Pathetic. Hear me? You guys are fucking useless. I ally with you because we have an understanding that you will protect my wife, and yet you do shit! Well in case you haven’t guessed, the free ride is fucking over! You guys want to come after me now? Then bring it the fuck on! You say I don’t want the Clan as an enemy, well you don’t want me as a fucking enemy!!

[The crowd cheers loudly as Stubby drops his mic then rolls under the bottom rope. Stubby slowly backs up the ramp, talking trash to Spider and Thoth (who are getting to their feet in the ring) as the fans chant his name. Suddenly Stubby tumbles forward and crashes to the steel as Fallout (who had snuck up beside the ramp) blasts him in the back of the skull with a superkick!]

NTD – Yeah! Kick his ass Fallout!

[Fallout drives his boot into the fallen Stubby’s body over and over again as the commish slowly rolls towards the edge of the ramp. Finally a woozy Stubby drops off the side of the ramp, stumbles forward and climbs over the barrier into the crowd. Fallout leaps off the ramp, springs over the barrier and gives chase.]

Curry – Oh my God! McWeed just turned on the Clan and Fallout is in hot pursuit! What’s going to happen next?!

[Thoth and Spider are back on their feet in the ring and looking pissed as Fallout/Stubby brawl though the throngs of cheering fans…]

April 1, 2002

"I've faced Sarah before in the IGNJL," says Longdogger Pete. Pete is visible, seated at a table as a camera peeks through a half-open door. However, one half of the table remains off camera, so the person Pete is speaking to is not visible.

"I've faced her before. She was part of one of the toughest stables in the league... the Alliance. Allied with Commissioner Grimedogg, Hville Thugg, and Jacob Helmsley, they were a group once thought unstoppable."

Pete pauses a moment to take a long sip from a glass of water. (The casual observer would assume he pauses for dramatic effect.)

"But X Force 9 stopped them. Just like we stopped the Clan, and Red Storm Rising, and any other challenge that stood in our way, or in the way of preserving the foundations of the Junior League."

Another sip from the water glass as his thoughts catch up with him.

"Now, tonight when we meet, it's going to be under very different circumstances. Sarah does not represent any such Alliance; she represents only herself. Just as I represent only myself. The rivalry, as it has been described, has become much more personal than it has ever been. I don't intend to beat her just to take her hardcore title. I intend to beat her to show her that I am the superior force. That I am the true champion in this bid'ness. I am the One Man Wrecking Crew, and I will do whatever it takes tonight. If I have to... I... will... break... her."

Pete pauses again, and this time the camera sneaks a few feet in through the door, until finally, the mystery occupant at the table is revealed... as Sydney Sky!

"Well, I don't know Sarah very well, Pete," Sydney replies. "But she did beat me in my debut match for the IGNJL." She contemplates her next words, and a smile plays across her lips. "So go kick her BUTT for me, will you?"

April 1, 2002

[The scene switches backstage and onto the commissioner who staggers through the halls of the arena. He seems woozy and a trickle of blood runs down his forehead, but Fallout is nowhere to be seen…]

Curry – I think Stubby may have managed to evade Fallout.

NTD – Good…Fallout has more important things to worry about tonight!

Curry - …either that or Stubby kicked his ass.

NTD – Pfft…Stubby couldn’t take Fallout on his best day!

[stubby makes it to a door marked “Commissioner’s Office” and fumbles around in his pocket for a set of keys, since in the SWF you always have to lock your doors. As he begins to slide the key into the doorknob, a vaguely female voice calls out from behind him…]

Voice – Hey…

Stubby – What the fuck is—

[stubby turns and as he does he’s caught full in the face with a cloud of green mist! The mist seems to be burning Stubby eyes and he cries out then stumbles back a step before being knocked straight off his feet by a dropkick to the face! Stubby tumbles back, his head slams into the hard wooden door and he slumps down onto the floor…rubbing his head as he attempts to regain his senses.

Stubby’s attacker moves into the frame now and hovers over the fallen commish.]

Lady Red - …

[stubby mumbles to himself…]

Stubby – Sonuva’ fucking bitch.

Lady Red – Get up.

[stubby begins to struggle to his feet and Lady Red grabs him by the hair then yanks him up, but before she can do anything somebody grabs her by the shoulder. Lady Red jerks her head around to see who it is…]

K-Os – My turn.

[Red nods, steps out of the way and K-Os advances towards Stubby, but before he can strike he’s blasted in the side of the head with a vicious chairshot! It’s Jay Dawg and as K-Os tumbles to the floor Dawg turns his attentions towards Lady Red, but he’s a bit too slow as the female wrestler kicks the chair back in his face!

Dawg drops the chair, stumbles back and Lady Red grabs him, pulls him over to where he dropped the chair, hooks his leg and slams him into the metal with a russian leg-sweep!]

Curry – Oh my God! Imagine if she does that in the US title match later tonight!

[Lady Red gets to her feet, but as soon as she does somebody kicks her in the spine, bends her over backwards and nails her with a diving reverse neckbreaker (Christian’s move)! The camera quickly focuses…]

NTD – It’s Sacred! He’s evil! Uhhh…wooo!

[sacred gets to his feet and helps Dawg up. The two Pound members survey the carnage surrounding them for a few seconds, smile then simply walk away…]

April 1, 2002

After a quick ad break from one of SWF's sponsors, Stacker 2, featuring Longdogger Pete starring in a commercial ("If you wanna be a true champion in this bid'ness, burn fat with Stacker 2!"), the screen cuts back to an image of the packed Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The arena has turned out an attendance of over twenty thousand for this live pay per view event, and the audience has not been disappointed thus far.

The lights come up in the arena as cameras pan across the audience, trying to catch a glimpse of an unusual or witty sign carried by a screaming fan. The cameras do catch a couple interesting ones, with phrases such as "GO BACK TO D.C., THUGG" and "#1 KANENITE!" As the cameras peruse the crowd, the two SWF announcers attempt to talk over the crowd noise for those watching at home.

"Welcome back to SWF Battleground 2!" shouts Curry Man, the SWF play by play announcer. "What a show we've had so far! We've got six matches, six titles to be decided tonight, and one has been decided already! Next up we'll see the SWF Hardcore Gamers title on the line, as three-time champion Mistress Sarah defends against SWF rookie, Longdogger Pete!"

"Curry, I hear Sarah used to kick LDP's ass all the time back in their IGNJL days," replies color man NTD, "and tonight's going to be no different!"

"We'll see about that," Curry counters. "Longdogger Pete, a former IGNJL World champion and three-time European champion, has made a name for himself here in the SWF since debuting back at From the Fire, Again, with two upset victories over Fallout in his first two matches! Tonight he'll have to set aside his grudge against the Boston Strangler and the Clan, and focus on his new objective of winning the hardcore title and holding his first piece of gold here in the SWF!"

Just then, the lights in the arena go dark. "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones hits the speaker system, and as each drum beat hits, freeze frame images of various Mistress Sarah matches appear on the Smarktron. As a guitar begins playing with the music, Mistress Sarah herself appears on stage, dressed in her dominatrix attire. She wears high black boots with a short heel, and she also wears the SWF Hardcore Gamers Championship belt, wrapped solidly around her waist. Behind Sarah, another woman steps out on stage, and Sarah is only too happy to allow her escort to walk behind her.

"The following contest is a hardcore match scheduled for ONE fall," announces Funyon from within the ring, "and it is for the SWF Hardcore Gamers Championship! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Mikaela... from Bellevue, Nebraska, she is the SWF Hardcore Gamers champion... MISTRESS SAAAAARAAAAAAH!"

"Interesting," notes Curry. "Mikaela has returned to the SWF as Sarah's escort!"

"Mikaela?" asks a confused NTD. "I thought that was Caisha."

"No, that's Mikaela. Caisha's the one that got pregnant by Chris Raynor."

"Oh. I keep getting them mixed up. Damn Sarah and all her escorts. I sure wish I were in her shoes!" muses NTD.

"I don't think you could fit into her heels," replies Curry.

Sarah slowly makes her way down the ramp as her music continues to play, followed closely by Mikaela. At the bottom of the ramp, she removes her title belt, letting it rest on the steel staircase next to one of the turnbuckles. She then climbs into the ring to await her opponent.

"You will get yours...

you will get yours...

YOU WILL GET YOURS!"

Bush's "Cold Contagious" kicks up over the arena's powerful speaker system, and an explosion of white pyrotechnics erupts from the stage area. The audience cheers get louder as smoke begins to billow onto the entrance ramp. Longdogger Pete steps out of the smoke, wearing a short sleeved Hawaiian shirt unbuttoned at the top, tattered jean shorts, and dark sunglasses. He carries a microphone in one hand as he strides briskly and purposefully down the entrance ramp toward the ring.

"Introducing the challenger," announces Funyon in the center of the ring, "from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 272 pounds... LOOOOOOOOONGDOGGERRRRR PEEEEEEEETE!"

As Sarah slides out of the ring to get out of the way, Longdogger Pete climbs onto the ring apron and enters the ring between the second and third ropes. He scrambles up the nearest turnbuckle and raises his right arm (the hand not holding the microphone) into the air, fist clenched, and the audience applause rises in volume. After a brief hesitation, he drops down from the turnbuckle, and calmly waits for his music to fade out and the crowd noise to die down before speaking into the microphone.

"Well, I appreciate the warm welcome," Pete begins, "so, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, answer this one: ARE YOU READY FOR THE LONGDOGGAAAAAAAAH?!"

The fans reply in full force, exploding with a wave of sound that washes over the Bradley Center. Pete just smiles a bit and nods as he takes it all in.

"It seems that if I want to get a hold of the SWF Hardcore Gamers title, I'm going to have to get through Mistress Sarah. Well, that sits just fine with me. Many of you may remember our matches back in the SJL. Sarah, we've been at odds for awhile, and I've got something to say to you. You've held the Hardcore title three times now, and I just want to remind you who got you where you are today. Who, as AWF commissioner, pushed your career and helped you to a record five AWF Heavyweight title reigns? Who got you your contract in the IGNJL, only to be betrayed by you later? That's right, Sarah; it was me... LDP. There's a reason you're a champion in this bid'ness, Sarah... AND I'M IT!"

The audience noise increases some with that remark, a variation of Pete's catchphrase. Outside the ring, Sarah snorts in disgust.

"But what I give out, I can also take away. Remember who cost you your closest shot at the IGNJL World Championship? I made you, Sarah, and I can break you. And if you stand in the path of my goal tonight, then I guess I'll just have to remind you of that fact."

Pete, apparently finished with his statement, hands off the microphone to the referee, removes his sunglasses, and waits for Sarah to enter.

"Some harsh words from LDP," remarks Curry, "but will he be able to back them up against the Mistress tonight?"

"I hope not!" answers NTD. "I can't wait to see that whip of hers come into play!"

Sarah slides back into the ring, stands, and begins sauntering back and forth in the ring, slowly and deliberately, fielding for the attention of the audience. Grinning wickedly, she slowly unfurls her long bullwhip that had been attached to her waist.

"Awww, there it is!" exclaims NTD excitedly. "Just one of the reasons people like me don't wear pants!"

"That's much more than any of us needed to hear," Curry assures his broadcast partner.

Sarah test cracks the whip a couple times, then smiles again, apparently satisfied with its performance. As Pete approaches Sarah, the referee signals for the bell to ring, officially starting the match.

"Here we go!" says Curry.

As the match begins, Sarah attempts to snap her long whip at Longdogger Pete, but he valiantly ducks her attempts, keeping her at bay for the moment, then darting after her in an effort to snatch the whip. She quickly raises the whip in the air as he makes a grab for it, then twists it over his head and around his neck, suddenly switching from a defensive position into a very much offensive choke hold with the whip.

"Whoa! Sarah's getting nasty with that whip already!" NTD comments.

"Hardcore rules apply, NTD, so there's no disqualification!" explains Curry. "She can do whatever she wants with it!"

Pete clenches his teeth, struggling in Sarah's grip as the Mistress threatens to cut off his air supply, the whip tightly corded around his neck. Pete falters only for a moment, then redoubles his energies, launching his elbow backward into her chest, then elbowing her again. The move knocks the wind out of Sarah, and she steps back reflexively, losing her grip on the whip. Pete pulls it away from his neck and allows it to drop to the mat.

"I guess that's one crisis averted for Longdogger Pete," remarks Curry.

"Yeah. Damn him," says NTD a little ruefully.

Pete turns around to face Sarah, now uninhibited, and begins a barrage of hard right overhand punches. Pete's blows pummel Sarah's upper body, weakening her as Pete uses his size and strength to his advantage early in the match. Sarah shrinks back under the full force of Pete's violent punches, and launches a counteroffensive, leaning against the ropes and using the leverage to propel a high kick into Pete's chin. Pete reels back, dropping on his back as he spills onto the mat. Sarah capitalizes by picking up the whip and once again holding it over Pete's neck, this time strangling the Miami Menace from above.

"She's got a lot of guts to keep trying this tactic on LDP," says Curry.

"Let's not forget what Pete did to Sarah on Smarkdown with her own whip!" protests NTD. "He strangled her almost into unconsciousness until she agreed to this match!"

Pete struggles against the force of the whip and Sarah's hands pressing down on his neck. As it happens, Sarah's strength is no match for Pete's, and he forces the whip away from his head yet again, rolling out of the way and sliding under the ropes to land easily on the floor below.

"He's taking it outside awfully soon," comments NTD.

Sarah leaves the whip behind and climbs over the rope, standing on the edge of the apron facing Pete. Angrily, she leaps from the apron, diving toward Pete just as he turns around to face her. As Sarah sails downward, she wraps her legs around Pete's neck, sending him to the floor as well in a diving hurricanrana.

"Nice work from Sarah," says Curry. "Pete will be hard pressed to keep up with her quickness in this match. But what he lacks in speed, he can make up in physicality!"

Sarah goes for a cover on Pete, the first cover attempt of the match.

ONE!

TWO!

Pete kicks out after two. Sarah gets to her feet as Pete continues to lie on the floor, trying to regain his breath. Sarah quickly clambers back to the ring, lifting the apron and searching underneath for something to use as a weapon. She pulls out the first thing she can get her hands around, which happens to be a trash can lid. As she starts to back out from under the apron, Pete reaches out and grabs her by the ankle. Sarah reacts by tossing the trash can lid backward, hoping to hit him in the head, but her throw misses by a mile, and Pete pulls Sarah closer, taking his simple ankle hold and maneuvering into a full-fledged anklelock submission.

"Pete's locked in an anklelock on Sarah!" exclaims Curry. "If Sarah taps out this will be over!"

"Do submissions even count in a hardcore match?" remarks NTD.

"You bet they do!" confirms Curry.

Sarah struggles against the anklelock, trying to pull away before the pain becomes too much for her. She soon finds she is unable to escape Pete's iron grip, and her strength starts to fade from her. Fortunately for Sarah, Mikaela sneaks up on Pete, picking up the trash can lid and hitting Pete over the head with it. The move doesn't damage Pete much, but it does distract him enough to break the hold on Sarah. As Sarah scurries away, Pete stands up, glaring coldly at Mikaela.

"Uh oh," says NTD. "I don't like the looks of this."

Pete walks menacingly toward Mikaela, who quickly backs off, moving away as quickly as she can. Pete starts to go after her, but Sarah takes advantage of his distraction, grabbing Pete's arm from behind and wrenching it downward. As Pete starts to double over, Sarah jumps into the air, landing across Pete's back in a sitting position, forcing Pete face first onto the floor.

"Domination!" shouts Curry. "Sarah with her finisher on LDP! This could be all for the One Man Wrecking Crew!"

Sarah drapes her arm over Pete for a cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THR--

Suddenly the lights dim in the arena, and the sound of a violin plays through the arena speakers. The audience is confused, and the referee distracted, by the sudden outpouring of music. The piece can soon be identified as "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve, though that sheds little light on the situation.

"What's going on?" NTD wonders. "Is someone coming out?"

"I don't know anyone with that music," Curry replies.

As Sarah glances at the stage in confusion, a female figure does indeed appear on the entrance ramp. At first, no one recognizes her, but suddenly a cheer rises up from the audience as the arena lights focus on her.

"It's SYDNEY SKY!" hollers Curry.

"WHAT?!" cries NTD. "She's not even in the SWF! What's SHE doing here?"

Sydney Sky, the femme fatale of the SJL, stands there, with her hands on her hips. The audience continues to cheer for her, as she slowly starts to move down the ramp. She is dressed to kill, clad in all black; her signature black vinyl pants, midriff black velvet tank top and lacy mesh overshirt. Her fiery red locks cascade down her back wildly. The music continues to play, and she graciously greets fans along the way down the ramp, but her eyes to continue to be focused on the ring ahead, and to the two opponents, both of whom seem confused, more so Sarah.

"I'm guessing she's up to no good," mutters NTD as Sydney reaches the bottom of the ramp.

Meanwhile, Pete and Sarah have both regained their footing. Pete fires a high kick toward Sarah's midsection, going for a Longdogger Clogger, but Sarah turns the move aside with an extended palm. Sarah then goes for a high kick of her own, but Pete catches her leg in midair. Sarah swings around with the other leg, in what looks like an enziguri, but doesn't quite complete the move. After facing Pete's enziguri reversal known as the Longdogger Denial once before, she is wise enough not to try the maneuver a second time. Instead, her other leg sweeps underneath Pete's own, knocking him off his feet. Pete quickly gets back up to his feet before Sarah can press her attack. He grabs her by the waist and hefts her into the air, flipping her backwards in a textbook belly to belly suplex. Sarah shrieks as her back hits the floor, and Pete capitalizes with a pinfall attempt.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE--NO! Sarah gets her shoulder up.

As Sydney looks on, staying out of the melee, Pete grabs Sarah by the wrist and pulls her up to her feet, and then into an Irish whip, but surprisingly, Sarah reverses the whip! Sarah sends Pete flying into the nearby steel staircase. Pete stumbles over the stairs, knocking the top portion away from the base, and sending the hardcore title belt skittering across the floor. Sarah hurriedly lifts Pete's head and slams it into the base of the stairs, and then repeats the action, making every impact count. Pete flops over onto his back, and Sarah tries again for a cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THR--NO! Pete somehow manages to kick out.

Pete gets to his knees and reaches up for the ring apron, using his strength, though weakened, to pull himself back into the ring. An enraged Sarah follows him back into the ring. Pete stares her down, then comes after her, taking her down with a high impact boot to the face. Pete drops down over her for another cover, hooking her leg for emphasis.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE--NO! Somehow, Sarah manages to get her shoulder up on a very close near-fall!

Sarah gets back to her feet, kicking Pete in the chest, and following up with a quick reverse DDT to take Pete down to the mat. As Pete gets back up, Sarah retrieves her long bullwhip from the mat, and when Pete stands, she attacks him from behind, again snaking the whip around Pete's neck.

"Sarah's once again trying to choke the life out of Pete!" comments Curry. "That's uncalled for!"

"Like you said, anything goes, right, Curry?" counters NTD.

Pete flails his arms wildly, trying in vain to escape the strangle hold as Sarah chokes the air out of Pete, pulling tighter with each passing second.

Suddenly, Sydney Sky enters the ring, holding the Hardcore Gamers title belt, and the audience pops big time! Sydney sneaks up behind Sarah, and the crowd goes wild as Sydney hits Sarah's head from behind with the title belt! Sarah loses her grip on the whip, and drops down to her knees.

"Oh, my god!" hollers Curry. "Sydney Sky in the ring now, and getting some retribution on Mistress Sarah!"

Sydney doesn't stop there. She drops the belt, then holds Sarah prone, pulling her up so that her knees are bent and her head is buckled forward, then dropping her to the mat in a bone-crunching pedigree!

"GOOD MORNING!" Curry and NTD shout simultaneously with the audience as Sydney pulls off the Daybreak on Sarah.

Sarah drops helplessly to the mat, and Sydney waves at Pete with a smile as she exits the ring. Pete kicks at Sarah's helpless form, then reaches down and lifts her into the air with both hands, adjusting Sarah until she is pressed high over his head in a horizontal position!

"WHOA!" shouts Curry. "That's one mean military press, and that only means one thing! MUSCLEHEAD SLAM!"

Sure enough, after a moment's hesitation, Pete uses all his might to slam Sarah down into the mat from an incredible height. Sarah is left unconscious by this gruesome assault, and Pete finally allows himself the cover over Sarah.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

The crowd is going absolutely nuts, and "Cold Contagious" hits the arena speakers again as Funyon announces, "Here's your winner, and NEW SWF Hardcore Gamers champion... LOOOOOOOONGDOGGERRRRRR PEEEEEEEEETE!"

The referee grabs the title belt and raises Pete's arm, handing him the belt. Pete takes it in disbelief, then after staring at the belt for a moment, he raises it in the air himself, holding it triumphantly. Outside the ring, Sydney Sky congratulates him with some applause of her own.

"Amazing," says Curry. "With an assist from SJL wrestler Sydney Sky, Longdogger Pete gets the victory, and the Hardcore title, from Mistress Sarah!"

"Why do these people get away with all this interference?" NTD wonders.

"Our security measures are too lax," Curry explains. "Anyway, stay with us, because we've got three more title matches to go, including a match for the SWF World championship itself. Hville Thugg, Xstasy, and 'Grand Slam' Mark Stevens will duke it out for dominance in a triple threat main event! Folks, we've got more to come, so don't go away!"

April 1, 2002

“Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn. Euurrrggghhhhh! Ugh! Hey you, it's just another bombtrack... Check it out...” the last little bit of ‘Bombtrack’ by Rage Against the Machines fades out. The camera returns to the sold out Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin! The thousands filling the arena come to their feet, all trying to get their faces on one of the multiple cameras reverberating around the crowd. The screen switches to backstage though, where U.S. champeen Jay Dawg stands, one foot on the couch, lacing up his boot. The Milwaukee center starts up a barrage of shouts, mostly insults, directed at the current member of Da Pound.

Jamie: “Listen. I don’t want you going out there today. I already saw what that jackass, Xstasy pulled on you.”

The screen zooms out, finally pointing out the obvious, that JD is talking to his girlfriend, Molly.

Jamie: “I’ve heard some crazy things about this Lady Red chick… and as much as I think a threesome would be fun… I know it will just us being used.”

Molly: “But come on. You wouldn’t let me come down when you joined up with Damien and Andrew. You did, however, bring me down when you wanted to win the U.S. title from Xstasy. Maybe it’s you, who is using me.”

Jamie: “Don’t you ever fucking say that! If I kept bringing you out with me, it would be my weakness, because I worry about you. Now listen, you are not going out there tonight. That is final!”

Jay Dawg storms out of the locker room, punching the door on the way. The camera zooms in on Molly, as she crosses her arms and shakes her head.

Molly: “We will see. We will see.”

April 1, 2002

[As the final commercial, shilling SWF house shows around North America, fades away into nothingness, a blank screen meets the stares of millions of wrestling fans. Settling back down into their couches, or rushing back to the theatre after snagging a bag of popcorn, they all become silent as the live feed kicks back on. A barrage of sights and sounds, “Bombtrack” by Rage Against the Machine is barely audible over the roar of the crowd, seeing that Funyon is back in the ring. Panning the electric crowd in the Bradley Center, the cameraman offers a view of this wondrous sight to those not there live. Over 60,000 SWF fans, half of them with signs, most of them with a cup of beer, all there for one same thing...... There to watch the SWF wrestlers put on one of the biggest shows of them all.]

Curry: “Welcome back to Milwaukee, Wisconsin!”

[As Curry’s voice slices in over the din of noise, one of the cameramen on the floor rushes over and locks in a shot of the announcing desk. Sitting behind it, the two voices of the league, Curry and the Pantless Marvel, NTD, are ready to throw to the next match.]

Curry: “We’re glad you could join us, right here in the Bradley Center, for Battleground 2!”

NTD: "We have already seen the first tag title match in...quite a while"

Curry: “But look past that fact my brother, it lead way to a hellacious match, and some surprising twists.”

NTD: “Those Clannites aren’t done just yet for the night though, not just yet. For those of you who don’t watch our sibling program, SJL, and I’m guessing that’s most of you because this is where the action is. I mean really now, you gotta choice between a group of finely honed wrestling machines and a bunch of awkward pre-pubescent newbies.........”

Curry: “Heh........ [slams elbow into NTD’s side]...... of course, it’s an awesome program that you all should be watching seeing as it is *the same company*.......”

NTD: “Oh.........”

Curry: “Good golly....... anyways, down in SJL they held a little tournament with the winners getting bumped up into the good ole’ SWF. Two impressive wrestlers, both Clan members, fought to the end and were left standing with contracts.”

NTD: “But now they’re scrrrrrewed!”

Curry: “......... how are they screwed?! They finally made it to the end of that long arduous road! They reached the top! They’re at the pinnacle of wrestling!”

NTD: “Now, they’ll have to face real wrestlers.”

Curry: “........... touche.”

NTD: “And what better way than to smash home a welcoming than with our U.S Champion, Jay Dawg!”

[Cutting off the mindless banter outside of the ring, Funyon steps to the middle of the squared circle, and wipes the sweat off his brow. Looking out to the thousands of fans, Funyon feels that familiar anxiety that is at every big show. Picturing them all in their underwear, Funyon looks to the front row, where a family of........ rather big-boned people are sitting, stuffing their faces with popcorn and hot dogs.]

Funyon: “Ugh...... [Full body shiver]...... ah-ahem!....... The following match is a Three-Way Elimination Match for the U.S Championship! When a wrestler is eliminated by pinfall, or submission, he -- or she, must leave the ringside area!”

NTD: “.............She?”

[As NTD grapples with his chauvinistic side, the lights suddenly cut out in the Bradley Center, immersing it in darkness! The fans jump to their feet, as every lighter in the building is brought out. Hundreds of little lights speckle the cover of black, until two red spotlights burst into life and converge on the entrance of Battleground’s elaborate stage. On the dual oval Smarktrons, two upturned black teardrops stand out on a white background. A low, synthesized note drags over the speaker system as the two tears turn red and drip off the Smarktrons as if liquid. The crowd is a buzz of noise, neither cheering nor booing, just anxious at this strange sight. Slowly, the prodding march of sound, the theme to “A Clockwork Orange” grows in volume within the arena, as a figure emerges from the entranceway!]

Funyon: “Introducing first, she is a member of the Clan........ standing five feet nine inches tall and weighing in at 140 pounds......... LADYYYYYYYY RED!!!”

NTD: “What......... the......... fu --”

Curry: “One of the fastest people to rise to the top of the JL, the enigmatic Lady red!”

NTD: “I’m already scared pantless, and we can’t even see this chick yet!”

[slowly walking to the ring, Lady Red ignores the boos caused by her allegiance, moving at the same deadly pace. Covered from head to toe in a red hooded kimono, it allows no sight of her body, her face, anything. Climbing the steel steps, Lady Red enters the ring and stands facing Funyon as she removes her kimono. Grabbing a sight of what’s underneath, Funyon steps back slowly and cautiously. In a blood red bodysuit, and white face paint masking her except for red encircling her eyes in teardrops, the Lady slowly gazes up at the announcer, the red spotlights tainting her a red hue. As his heart jumps into his throat, the house lights kick back on, and Lady Red walks to the far right corner.]

NTD: “Um......... yeah.......... she’s..........”

Curry: “Her appearance is no more scary than her speed and strength. Lady Red has put herself in danger’s way just to maim her opponent. The stories from the JL are frightening to say the least.....”

[As the crowd’s roar dies down to a mew, the theme music cuts out leaving the arena almost in silence. Waiting in anticipation, the crowd wonders at the other new wrestler.........]

****CRACK****

NTD: “GAH!!!”

[A peal of thunder crashes onto the P.A system, as the lights black out once again! The already hot lighters are raised once again, as the echo of the thunder gives way to the heavy riffs of “Down” by STP. On the Smarktrons, flames pulsate in rhythm with the music, as red pyros suddenly cascade over the entrance! Emerging from the inferno, walking right out to the top of the ramp, a man with flames across his tights and long black hair covering his face, looks down to the metal grating beneath.]

Funyon: “And her opponent, also a member of the Clan......... standing six feet one inch tall and weighing in at 259 pounds............. KAAAAAAAAAAAA-OSS!!!!”

[As Funyon holds that last note, and the crowd begins to boo another Clan member, K-Os suddenly glances up to the ring and.........]

****BOOM****

[Two ENORMOUS flames are set off from either side of the stage! The heat from them can be felt across the arena, and as they die down, he begins to march to the ring. Inside the ring, Lady Red lays her kimono over the top rope and watches as her stable mate dives under the bottom rope, and the lights kick back on. Hopping up on the far left turnbuckle, K-Os raises both hands to the crowd who return the favour with middle fingers and camera shots.]

Curry: “K-Os was the JL champion during the tournament, and was somewhat the leader of the JL Clan.”

NTD: “But he wasn’t champion coming here right?”

Curry: “Well...... not exactly, but.........”

NTD: “So he lost the biggest title in his last match, right?”

Curry: “Well, yes but still he’s........”

NTD: “Tch tch. These rookies think they can hang with us....”

[Hopping off the corner, K-Os casts a glance at Lady Red and both nod at each other from across the ring. Before the crowd can die down at all............]

NTD: “Here we go!”

[The quick barrage of three dim, blue strobe lights lights up the ramp! Seeing this, the crowd unleashes a torrent of boos, as a pair of silver strobe lights criss cross over the entrance! The silence of the speakers is broken with four simple words.........]

WELCOME TO MOTHERFUCKING HELL!!

[Following the pleasant words that trumpet the champion’s arrival, D12 begins to pound on the sound system with “Fight Music”! Walking out from behind the curtain, gold belt over his shoulder........]

Funyon: “And their opponent, from Da Pound, standing six feet four inches and weighing in at 250 pounds......... he is the S-W-F UNITED STATES CHAMPEEEEEEEEN...................

JAMIE JAY DAWG DRAZZZZZZZZONNNNN!!!!”

[shrugging the belt back up on his shoulder, Jay Dawg looks around to the crowd with pissed off heel face #34, before beginning his trek down to ringside. The two Clannies inside the ring move to the center, side by side watching Jay Dawg come down the ramp. Seeing this, Jay Dawg slows his approach, and stops in front of the ring on the left side. The crowd boos him as he stands there contemplating his next move. Seeing his last chance out, and a pending war, Funyon dives under the far ropes and shuffles back to his seat by the annnouncer’s table.]

NTD: “My U.S Champion, and yours, the No-Selling Bastard himself!”

Curry: “Have you no soul? No conscience to determine good and bad?”

NTD: “Con...... science??”

Curry: [sighs] “Never mind. This match was put together by the Stubbster due to some comments of the U.s champ, on Smarkdown.”

NTD: “The ever-courageous Jay Dawg issued an open challenge for this match. Of course, everyone was afraid to step up, until these two slack jawed yokels from the JL showed up here. Do they realize what they’re up for?”

Curry: “A shot at the U.S title in their debut matches?”

NTD: [Grins] “A shot?? These two....... a shot??!! Heh...... Hehe......”

Curry: “Anyways, Jay Dawg was forced to put up his belt against these two new Clan members. And upon hearing Lady Red’s........ ways of living, Jay Dawg told Molly she should stay in the back. She wasn’t too happy with this decision.”

NTD: “What ways of -- oh! Ooooooh, I get it....... I was wondering why Molly wasn’t here.....”

Curry: “But, you were right here! You watched them talking!”

NTD: [shrugs] “Like I pay attention or anything.”

[back in the ring, K-Os and Lady Red stand sentinel, a cohesive unit just itching for their shot. Not willing to be their target just yet, Jay Dawg walks clockwise around the ring. The referee assigned to this match yells at the two in the ring, trying to get them to allow the champ in. Turning around, he yells for Jay Dawg to come in, frustrated he got assigned to this chaotic match. Standing firm, Jay Dawg removes his belt and tosses it to the ringkeeper, before focusing on the ring. Having enough of this, the referee signals for the bell, to the delight of the crowd.]

DING DING DING!!

Curry: “Seems Jay Dawg isn’t willing to go up against these two quote unquote “rookies”.”

NTD: “No, you fool! He lulling them into a false sense of security! Unlike down in the sticks, we use strategy up here!”

Curry: “Such as?”

NTD: “The Entire Stable Whupping Your Ass tactic.”

Curry: “Figures........ well, that won’t be happening here, though this is a free for all DQs are still in effect.”

NTD: “Riiiiiiiiiight. DQs always stop these straight laced, church going wrestlers.”

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

[snapping back to life, JD looks to the referee in the ring with a bewildered stare as he begins to count Jay Dawg out! The two inside the ring look at each other, as the wheels in their brains start turning. Seeing the belt could slip away before it starts, both rush to the right side of the ring and slide out! During this same instant, JD dives into the ring! Landing on their feet, Lady Red and K-Os look around, but don’t see their opponent. However, a profanity laden yell turns them both back to the ring, as the champion beckons for them to come on!]

Curry: “A game of cat and mouse, between the Clannites and Jay Dawg!”

NTD: “Two on one?? This is supposed to be a free for all! Shenanigans!! I call shenanigans!!”

[Their tempers rising, K-Os and Lady Red go to dive back into the ring, dive right into.............]

CRACK!

[Jay Dawg’s feet and Jay Dawg’s plan! With a hard baseball side, Jay Dawg meets K-Os halfway, his feet not allowing K-Os in the ring, and sending him crashing into the announcing desk! Bolting back to his feet inside the ring, JD turns around right into a hard right jab by Lady Red! As a flurry of punches trap Jay Dawg against the right ropes, the referee begins to count out K-Os.]

ONE!

TWO!

[As K-Os slowly begins to push back to his feet, Lady Red grabs the right arm of Jay Dawg and goes to whip him to the far ropes! Holding on to the arm of the Lady, Jay Dawg stops his momentum and turns it against Lady Red reversing the Irish whip. Bouncing off the left ropes, Lady Red quickly ducks beneath a clothesline from Jay Dawg! Flying off the right ones, Lady Red then leap frogs over Jay Dawg’s back drop! Annoyed as hell, Jay Dawg goes to fling himself off the right ropes after her...........]

THUMP!

[When he is tripped up by K-Os! The crowd is a mix of boos and cheers as K-Os dives back into the ring and Annie stops her momentum, seeing this.]

Curry: “K-Os brought JD to a screeching halt there. These two, Lady Red and K-Os, seem to know very well what the other is thinking.”

NTD: “This is a damned handicapped match!”

Curry: “And......?”

NTD: “Well, I don’t really mind, it’s just with the false advertising and all.......”

[bolting to his feet, K-Os begins to stomp the bejeezus out of JD, as Lady Red joins in. The two coordinate their shots nicely, taking turns liquefying the organs of the champ. Raising a hand to K-Os, Lady Red signals for it to cease, and slowly pulls JD back up to his feet. Pushing him against the right ropes, she sends him to the left ones with an Irish whip. Taking the same steps as she did just moments before, JD ducks beneath the clothesline of hers..........

but is LEVELLED by a hard spinning spinebuster from K-Os! The crowd pops as the mat induces some nasty whiplash on the head of JD! Rolling to the side, K-Os motions from Lady to JD then gets to his feet. Moving over to Jay Dawg, Lady Red grabs him by the hair and pulls him up before sliding behind him. Intertwining their arms and legs, and with a quick shift backwards, she plants JD to the mat with a Russian Leg Sweep! Immediately upon impact, Lady Red drags them both back to their feet again. Applying the same move, she goes to swing back........

when JD slams his left fist into her stomach! Grabbing his right arm around her neck, he leaps forward and plants the painted face straight to the mat with a bulldog! Rushing to a vertical base, JD turns around and nimbly ducks beneath a hard right hook from K-Os! With a mighty swing, JD sets off the crowd in Wisconsin............]

CRACK!!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

CRACK!!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

NTD: “Those stingers will cave in a few ribs!”

Curry: “Jay Dawg is using all his speed and all his strength to avoid both of his opponents!”

NTD: “And doing so with style! Welcome to the big leagues!”

[The two chops send K-Os staggering back into the near right corner. Slumping against them, he offers no defense as JD lands punch after punch, each one aimed right at the temples. Five altogether send off K-Os into a murky daze, while Jay Dawg grabs around the throat in a vicious choke hold! The referee begins to count for the DQ that is never called.]

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE---

[Just before five is called, JD releases the hold and looks at the referee feigning innocence. As the crowd boos, and the ref reprimands, JD laughs and reapplies the choke hold, inducing a new count out.]

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV---

[Reaching five, the referee gives up and forces in between the two men, pushing them apart. Jay Dawg holds onto the throat of K-Os for all he’s worth, trying to weed out the competition when Lady Red, back on her feet, lands a hard forearm to the back of JD’s head! Releasing the hold, he stumbles back as she lands her patented right jab, right jab, left hook combo, felling the mighty warrior. Looking at K-Os for a second as he clutches at his throat, Lady Red turns back to JD as he forces to his feet. The moment he stands up, the Lady lands a kick to the gut, doubling him up. Latching on a front facelock, Lady Red leaps into the air, up and around JD before falling back to the mat DRIVING him headfirst into a Tornado DDT!]

Curry: “The assassin of the Clan just made Jay Dawg into an exclamation mark there!”

[both of them slumping to the mat, K-Os opens his eyes to see Lady Red hooking the leg of JD for the pin! He rushes forwards as the referee’s hand hits the canvas!]

ONE!

TWO!

TH-

[before the referee can hit the three count, and before K-Os reaches the pin attempt, Jay Dawg forces his right arm off the mat! The crowd groans at the first near fall of the match. Standing to her feet, Lady Red looks right into the face of K-Os, inches away from her own. The two remain locked in this stare-down as the crowd roars to life, anticipating a breakdown of alliance. Pointing towards JD, K-Os mutters something to Lady Red as she stands there, not moving a muscle. His eyes wide open, K-Os motions around his waist, continuing his tirade as Lady Red listens in silence. The noise of the crowd swells again but for a different reason as...........]

BAM!

[Jay Dawg levels the two with a double clothesline! Blindsided, both take the full brunt of the force, as they slam to the mat! Not wasting a single moment, Jay Dawg grabs Lady Red by her black as night hair, and forcibly stands her up. Grabbing around the waist, Jay Dawg stands there and.............

stands there and................

nails a spinning Belly to Belly suplex!]

Curry: “Uh, that took longer than normal to set up.”

NTD: “I wonder why...........”

[Grabbing both legs and rolling her up, Jay Dawg goes for the quick pin!]

ONE!

TWO!

T- NO!

[Pushing to his knees, K-Os sees the pin and lunges forward, slamming an elbow to the head of JD. All three competitors are laid out on the mat for a split instant, before K-Os pulls himself up with the far ropes. Holding his head, JD slowly pushes himself back up and is met with a hard right hand to the noggin by K-Os! The shot puts stars in his eyes, as he staggers backwards towards the near ropes. Sensing a kink in the shield of the champ, K-Os continues to lace into the head of JD with punches, left and right. In the center of the ring, Lady Red gradually gets to her feet. Finally reaching the ropes, Jay Dawg slumps against them, blocking the shots. Realizing his efforts are wasted, K-Os grabs the right arm of JD for an Irish whip, but JD holds onto the ropes! Trying once again, once again Jay Dawg holds on! Ducking around, Jay Dawg shoves K-Os to the ropes and begins to gain some retribution with shots of his own. Acting on instinct, K-Os shoves Jay Dawg backwards, right into Annie as she stands up! The two knock heads, and stumble as the crowd begins to roar! Dashing forwards from the ropes, K-Os dives forward at Jay Dawg............]

“Ooooohhhhhhhhhhh.......”

NTD: “Ouchies......”

Curry: “K-Os missed JD but........”

[Ducking out of the way of K-Os’ gore attempt, Jay Dawg saves his own hide but leaves Lady Red in the line of fire! The crowd groans as K-Os slams into her, the two sliding to the far side of the ring! While K-Os skids to a halt just at the edge of the ring, the force carries Lady Red to the outside! Collapsing to the ground, she lays there motionless halfway under the apron. Looking to the outside, K-Os shakes his head with a pained look on his face, as Jay Dawg gets back to his feet.]

NTD: “See? Falling apart before our very eyes........ what I tell ya?”

Curry: “K-Os made a big mistake and took out his fellow Clannie! The referee is now going for the count-out!”

[sure enough, the zebra begins his count to ten as JD closes in on his prey. A twinge running up his spine, K-Os rolls to his back and stares up into the face of Jay Dawg before the champ drops his knee into the stomach of K-Os. Another knee drop seems as though in sync with the referee’s count.]

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

[While Lady Red begins to stir on the outside, Jay Dawg pulls up K-Os from the ground and lands some stiff right hooks to the face. Dragging him to the middle of the ring, JD nimbly steps around a wild left hook from K-Os, and floors him with a leg sweep. Quickly on top of his enemy, Jay Dawg unleashes a flurry of fists as the crowd roars sensing the shift in momentum. Pushing back off the mat, Jay Dawg lies in wait as K-Os struggles to a vertical base. Circling around him, Jay Dawg waits until he is just off the mat and locks his arms around the waist of K-Os! Before he can even react, K-Os finds himself being violently flipped over backwards as JD SPIKES him to the mat with a release German Suplex!]

NTD: “Whoa! K-Os landed flat on his bulbous head there!”

Curry: “Jay Dawg has split apart the two rookies and is systematically taking K-Os apart!”

FOUR!

FIVE!

[Rolling towards the left side of the ring, K-Os clutches his head in his arms, as the world in his head is spinning. The roar of the crowd slicing through the body of JD, he looks out to the thousands of fans and rests his gaze on the far left turnbuckle. Hopping over K-Os, Jay Dawg exits to the apron and quickly scampers up to the top rope. Stopping with one foot on the turnbuckle and one on the middle rope, Jay Dawg looks out as camera flashes light up his body. Turning his gaze into the ring, he sees K-Os still writhing on the mat, and steps his other foot to the top rope...............]

NTD: “Jay Dawg is going for it!”

[Leaping high into the air, Jay Dawg raises both arms up to the side, as though he really were flying. Gravity taking its course, slowly brings the champion downward, his body parallel to the mat........

falling................

and landing a head BUTT off the top rope! Right into the chest of K-Os! The crowd pops from the high impact move, as Jay Dawg’s head slams hard into his ribs! Bouncing back off the mat, Jay Dawg rolls to the far side, as K-Os remains motionless in the middle of the ring.]

SIX!

SEVEN!

[Grabbing the middle rope on the far side Jay Dawg begins to pull himself up, when he looks directly at a pale white face. As his eyes grow wide, he notices a small green drop falling from the mouth of Lady Red when.........]

Curry: “The green mist!”

NTD: “Ref! REF!”

[she blows out a fine spray of green mist into the eyes of the champion! The referee, checking on K-Os in the ring misses this obvious display, and pays no attention to the screams as the mist burns in the eyes of JD! Pulling herself into the ring, Lady Red stalks over JD as he rubs the gunk from his eyes. Putting a finger in her mouth, she slowly removes it, as green liquid drips off. Crouching down, she slowly drags the tip of her finger across the chest of Jay Dawg, marking an ‘X’. The crowd is a dull roar, confused at the actions of this woman. The referee, seeing Lady Red back in the ring, remembers then disregards his missed count. Rushing over to check on those two, he is blocked from seeing Jay Dawg as she leans over and begins slamming hard fists into his forehead.]

NTD: “This is the talent from the JL?! A woman who has some green liquid, white paint, freaky weird fetish thing, and a guy who can’t spell, nor hit the right person with his attack?”

Curry: “Um, yeah.”

NTD: “Just checking......”

[Pushing off of Jay Dawg, Lady Red wipes the green off her mouth and turns to the ref with a stare that could kill. Backing off, as far as he can, he watches as Jay Dawg struggles to his feet. His face an odd green tint, he staggers around throwing wild punches. Lady Red stands back, watching this with no emotion as the crowd begins to come to life! Turning her head, she sees the cause of their roars........

and gives a small smile.]

NTD: “What’s she doing out here?!”

Curry: “That’s a good question. He told her not to come out here!”

[Rushing down the ramp with a worried look on her face comes Molly! Hurrying around to the far side of the ring, she pounds on the apron, urging on JD as she ignores the cat calls of the crowd! Not able to see just yet, but his ears still working fine, Jay Dawg turns to the far side and sees a fuzzy image of Molly! Forgetting about the match, he walks over to the ropes and yells at her to leave! She shakes her head ‘no’ profusely, seemingly her heart getting in the way of her mind. However, this mini soap opera comes to a grinding halt..........

as Lady Red topples Jay Dawg over the top rope with a stiff clothesline! Going head over heels, JD crashes to the outside, narrowly missing Molly! Getting out of the way, Molly backs off to the right side of the ring, as Lady Red gazes at her intently. Seeing this, Molly face turns grave, not knowing what to expect, when Lady Red turns away and exits the ring to the outside on the far end. Back in the ring, the referee watches as his match quickly falls apart. Walking past K-Os, as he begins to show signs of life, the referee begins to administer a ten count.]

Curry: “Can’t we keep this in the ring? It isn’t all that hard, the ropes are there to prevent this.”

NTD: “You know I talk the referee how to count to ten?”

Curry: “.............. uh-huh.”

NTD: “No seriously, when we had that short break before the switchover, I decided to go back to school, seeing as my job was in question.”

Curry: “........ well that’s smart I guess.......”

NTD: “Only thing I really learned is that Kindergarten is a real bitch.”

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

[Outside the ring, Lady Red picks up Jay Dawg from the ground and with a grab of the wrist, whips him hard into the far right post! Skull meeting metal, Jay Dawg goes light on his feet and hits the ground like a sack of potatoes. Walking over him, Lady Red saunters past Molly with a smirk and shoves Funyon out of his seat. Grabbing the chair he previously occupied, Lady Red turns around and looks to K-Os in the ring. Seeing this, K-Os thinks fast and gets to his feet, pulling the ref away from the ropes. With a grab of the ref’s shirt, K-Os begins to argue about how slow that first pin’s count was, keeping his attention from the outside! As Jay Dawg gets to one knee, falls back down, then tries again, Lady Red lies in wait.]

Curry: “K-Os is keeping the ref distracted, as Lady Red brandishes that chair!”

NTD: “Between the mist and this, Lady Red seems to want to take Jay Dawg out for good!”

[Pushing as hard as he can, JD finally locks his knees straight and gets up. He blatantly no-sells the crowd’s urging to watch out, as he slowly spins around one hundred eighty degrees, and takes view of Lady Red winding up!..................

but Molly grabs the chair before she can swing! The crowd pops as Lady Red whips around, and Molly stumbles backwards holding the chair. Seeing his girl in danger, Jay Dawg finds his second wind and rushes forward grabbing Lady Red’s shoulder! Spinning her around, he lays in a hard kick followed by a left hook! Stepping back, Lady Red swings out with a right hook that Jay Dawg ducks under, the momentum turning her right around! Coming to a stop, her sights rest on small, innocent Molly.........

as she winds up with the chair and...........]

CRACK!

NTD: “Another miscue!”

[in a moment of deja vu, Lady Red drops out of the way and leaves Jay Dawg in the line of a hard overhead chair shot! Seeing this, but not able to stop, Molly dents the chair in with the skull of her man! Eyes rolling into the back of his head, JD begins to slump to the ground, but Lady Red grabs him and shoves him towards the ring! Molly watches in shock as she drops the chair, and Jay Dawg is forced underneath the bottom rope! Seeing this, K-Os releases the ref and attacks the U.S champion with hard boots to the back! A final glance at Molly, then Lady Red dives back into the ring. Hearing the directions of K-Os, she watches as he pulls Jay Dawg up to his feet, then grabs one arm as K-Os grabs the other. Both of them whip Jay Dawg hard to the far ropes, and charge forward with clotheslines, flipping him upside down from the force! In the blink of an eye, K-Os drops for the pin!]

ONE!

TWO!

THRE - kick out!

NTD: “Jay Dawg ain’t out yet!”

Curry: “He is fighting hard to retain that title belt!”

[The crowd surges back to life with the near fall, and Lady Red shakes her head. Slamming his fist on the mat, K-Os looks to the rafters before getting to his feet. Walking over to the far right corner, K-Os looks at Lady Red then gives a nod, before hunching over and waiting for his prey. Jay Dawg rolls to his side, as the crowd comes alive, anticipating what’s to come. On the outside, Molly realises this to, and begins to climb up on the near apron. Seeing this, K-Os turns to her for an instant, then turns back to see JD up on his feet. Launching forward, K-Os dives for another Gore, looking to hit the mark...............

but Jay Dawg leaps up at the last instant, leapfrogging over it! Smashing into the steel post on the far left side, K-Os slams to a halt, stuck in the corner. Turning to see what caused the distraction, Lady Red sees Molly up on the ring apron. The referee yells at her to leave the ring area, but Lady Red shoves him out of the way and slowly advances on Molly. Pushing himself out from the corner’s clutches, K-Os holds his weakened right shoulder as turns around and JD plants his foot into K-Os’ stomach! Quicker than a hiccup, Jay Dawg applies a standing head scissors to a roar from the crowd. Crossing K-Os’ arms over his back..................

Jay Dawg DRIVES HIM TO THE MAT!!!]

NTD: “JD’S REVENGE!”

Curry: “HE NAILED IT!!”

[Jay Dawg quickly rolls K-Os over, and moves for the pin......... then stops. Looking to the near side of the ring, JD watches as Lady Red walks right up in front of Molly! Neither moving an inch, Lady Red towers over Molly looking right into her eyes. Rushing over as fast as he can, Jay Dawg watches as Lady Red reaches towards Molly..............

and rolls her up with a schoolboy! The crowd is a mix of boos and cheers as Molly watches the referee begin the count!]

ONE!!

[Jay Dawg plants his right foot on the middle rope! Molly’s face is a mix of emotion!]

TWO!

[He raises the other foot up to the ropes! Lady Red struggles to kick out as the referee’s hand falls again!]

........................................

.........................................

THREE!!!

[before Funyon speaks, before the bell even rings, a spilt second after the three count, Lady Red kicks out! Rolling to her knees, she looks at the referee as he holds out three fingers! Jay Dawg rolls to the outside, and Molly drops to the ground as Lady Red stands up.]

DING DING DING!!

Funyon: “The first competitor eliminated at 19:43 by Pinfall............... LADY RED!!”

[Two dramas ensue as Funyon’s words echo on the speakers. Inside the ring, Lady Red grabs the referee by the shirt and yells in his face. Outside, Jay Dawg gets to his feet and looks questioningly at Molly. Lady Red listens to the pleading of the ref as Jay Dawg listens to the pleading of Molly. At the exact same moment.............

Lady Red nails a vicious chop to the throat of the ref and JD yells at Molly to leave! The zebra slumps to the mat, as Lady Red stands over him. Outside, Molly looks hurt as she hears JD’s yell, and moves towards him. Stepping back, Jay Dawg points to the entrance and stands motionless. The two remain there for seconds, as Lady Red watches from inside. Her rage, though not shown visibly, is obvious to all. Stealthily walking to the near right corner, she begins to ascend as Jay Dawg remains focused on Molly, and her on him. The crowd’s screams, not yet stopped from the pin, reach a crescendo as Lady Red reaches the top rope. Turning her back to JD, she crosses her arms over her chest.......... and falls backwards...........]

NTD: “Oh dear Lord.........”

Curry: “NO!!”

CRACK!

[Lady Red’s skull comes to a sickening collision with JD’s! As Lady Red crashes to the ground, Jay Dawg falls flat on his face, neither one moving an inch. The crowd’s groan is deafening as Molly screams from the horror. Beginning to cry, the tears fall down her cheek as she looks at the two bodies on the ground. Looking inside the ring, she sees K-Os motionless in the middle, and the referee out cold in the near left corner. The only one left standing, she is obviously scared, confused, hurt........... turning away, she runs up the ramp to the back! The crowd is a dull murmur as not a single thing is left moving in the ring.]

NTD: “K-Os took JD’s Revenge! JD rolled up Lady Red for the pin! She took out the referee and then Jay Dawg with that dive!!..............”

Curry: “I’ve heard of it, the Death Knell! But this match isn’t even over! And we have no referee!”

NTD: “Is this match still going?!”

[For seconds, nothing. No movement, no sounds, nothing. The Bradley Center comes to a standstill.........]

Curry: “Wait a second..........”

NTD: “How in the hel........”

[As a cameraman rushes over, he brings the shot in focus on Lady Red. Her hair is a somewhat red tinge, and a small pool of blood is evident on the mat. And her eyes open! At a near crawl, barely moving at all, she slowly sits up........... touching the top of her head, she brings her hand back down, a smudge of blood on it. It is minutes since the Death Knell, but somehow Lady Red is moving. Pushing to her knees, she gradually gets to her feet and looks around. Inside the ring, K-Os begins to stir, rolling to his side. Looking down, she lays eyes on her victim. Pulling up the dead weight of Jay Dawg, she props him up against the apron and looks at him for a few seconds, before touching her bloody finger to his forehead. Turning him around, she shoves him underneath the bottom rope, back into the ring, and then begins to stagger towards the ramp. Not turning back once, not for a second, Lady Red walks up the ramp, her body obviously hurt but she does her best to conceal that fact. Pushing the curtain aside, she slowly exits the stage as the crowd turns their gaze back to the ring.]

Curry: “Molly’s gone! Lady Red is gone! Jay Dawg, K-Os and the referee are out!”

NTD: “Not quite! K-Os is getting back up!”

[True enough, K-Os rolls to a sitting position and shakes out the cobwebs. Taking account of the situation, he sees the other two laid out. Not knowing how, or why, but realizing what, K-Os stumbles to his feet and collapses into the far left corner. Jay Dawg’s arms begin to twitch, but the referee remains out. A small spattering of blood is on the mat by Jay Dawg’s head, the twin attack of the chair shot and the Death Knell cutting open his right temple. The crowd begins to chant “K - OS!” urging this match onward. Ignoring the crowd, K-Os locks his eyes on something and pulls himself along the far ropes to the right side. Dropping to the mat, he rolls to the outside and walks past Curry and NTD, with a scowl. Grabbing the U.S belt from the ringkeeper, he turns back around and slides back into the ring. Raising the belt into the air, he gazes into his golden reflection. Watching Jay Dawg slowly begin to stand, K-Os holds the belt tight in both hands and charges at JD!]

WHAM!!

[The belt smashes hard into the face of its owner, dropping him to the mat! Tossing it aside, K-Os drops to the mat and covers Jay Dawg for the win!]

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!!

.......................

[The crowd’s chant dies out as K-Os remains on top of Jay Dawg for almost six seconds. Looking around, he sees the referee, still out of it in the near left corner. Cursing a blue streak, he rolls off of Jay Dawg and stands up. With a soft kick to the head, K-Os tries to evoke some life in the ref. Another kick causes the referee to roll to his stomach. Fed up, K-Os turns back to JD and stops. Rushing over to the U.S Belt, he picks it up and drapes it over JD before moving to the far left corner. Looking to the crowd, he begins to ascend the corner, rope by rope. The fans of Milwaukee come to life as he stands up precariously on the small turnbuckle. With a look over his shoulder, he leaps up into a backflip............

and hits a moonsault on top of the belt ON JAY DAWG!! The crowd goes wild as he rolls off holding his torso! Jay Dawg shakes on the mat, as the belt slides off to the side. Pushing, crawling to JD, K-Os drapes an arm over him, and yells for the referee!]

Curry: “K-Os may have it!”

NTD: “Where’s the ref?!”

[The crowd’s cheers and K-Os’ yells cut through the haze of the ref, bringing him back to this world. Bringing his face off the mat, he looks up, refocuses his eyes, and see K-Os’ arm over the breathing chest of Jay Dawg. Straining to lift his arm, the ref lets it drop back down!]

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!!

THREE!!!! - KICK OUT!!

NTD: “HE GOT A SHOULDER UP!”

Curry: “JAY DAWG KICKED OUT!!”

[As the entire population of the Bradley Center jumps out of their seats, the referee yells out “TWO!” with the same number of fingers raised! The yells of excitement are heard throughout the city, as the arena is shook at its foundation! Jay Dawg raises his hand in the air, shrugging K-Os off of him, as disbelief is painted across his face! Looking at the ref, K-Os runs through every swear word known, as he slams his fist to the mat again! Ignoring it all, the referee shakes his head no, then slumps back facedown to the mat for a while. Rage burning in his eyes, K-Os sits there as Jay Dawg rolls the other way and struggles to one knee, using the ropes as a crutch. The referee finally begins to stand up too, and following along with them, K-Os pushes to his feet. Advancing on Jay Dawg, K-Os lets out a hard right hook! But JD counters it with one of his own! The two trade punches back and forth, JD pushing off from the ropes bringing the fight to the middle of the ring! The referee thinks of yelling about closed fists but figures who cares and watches the two battle for the belt!]

Curry: “K-Os and Jay Dawg are both running on empty, but are still going!!”

NTD: “Who’d have thought this match could’ve gone on?!”

[Catching one of K-Os’ fists, Jay Dawg twists it into an armbar and nails three quick shoulder thrusts! Nailing a kick to the stomach, he goes to apply a standing head scissors but K-Os back drops him up and over! Slamming hard to the mat, JD bolts to his feet, holding his lower back! K-Os goes to nail a kick of his own, but JD catches it and pushes the foot away, spinning K-Os around! Diving forward with a clothesline, Jay Dawg connects with nothing but air as K-Os ducks it! Both turning around, Jay Dawg latches on a front face lock and goes for a suplex, but K-Os wraps up his leg, blocking the hold. Grabbing around the waist of JD he lifts him up, and drops him backwards into a Nothern Lights Suplex! Bridging for the pin, K-Os holds on for dear life!]

ONE!!

TWO!!!

TH - No!

[Just as the three count nears, JD strains and pushes off of the mat, with K-Os still holding on! Both bent over backwards, they roll over back into Jay Dawg with a gutwrench! Flipping K-Os up for the suplex, K-Os kicks out and flips right out of the move! Landing on his feet, K-Os crouches down slightly and turns around, just as JD does. Both men are red in the face, breathing heavily, bodies worn out, lungs screaming for air, as the crowd is electric from this series of reversals! The first one to act, Jay Dawg lunges forward with another kick, which lands! Applying the head scissors, JD signals to the crowd with a finger across his throat..................

bends down, and grabs K-Os by the waist...............

lifts him up.................. but K-Os kicks wildly!! Dropping back down, K-Os grabs around the legs of JD and trips him up! Falling backwards, Jay Dawg struggles but K-Os holds on to both legs with what little energy he has left! Switching his hold of the right leg with his right arm for the left arm, K-Os grabs the other leg too, now facing away from JD! With jolt, he begins to spin and step over JD to the right side! The champion strains, pushing against the mat, refusing to let himself be locked in! Sensing this, K-Os suddenly turns the other way, and steps over into a reverse Boston Crab!!]

Curry: “THE HEART OF DARKNESS!!”

NTD: “GO FOR THE ROPES!!”

[Jay Dawg yell out in pain as K-Os sits back, applying all the torque he can! The crowd’s decibel level reaches a new high as the referee checks for any submission! Shaking his head, JD begins to scramble for the right ropes, his nails digging into the canvas! Closer and closer he inches, diving out for them repeatedly! K-Os lets out a yell, trying to keep them locked in the middle, but JD surges forward!!! Reaching out...............

his fingers brush the ropes.............

but K-Os walks them back to the middle of the ring!! Sitting down in the hold with a yell, K-Os bends himself back as far as he can, feeling the body of JD shake............

AND HE TAPS!!!!]

Curry: “JAY DAWG JUST TAPPED!!!”

NTD: “SWEET MOTHER!!........’

[The crowd goes apeshit as JD slams his hand to the mat, and K-Os releases the hold! The referee signals for the bell, and then for the belt as the arena is deafening!]

Funyon: “THE WINNER, AND NEEEEEEEEEEW UNITED STATES CHAMPEENNNNNNN...............

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OSSSS!!!!!”

Curry: “K-OS HAS WALKED IN A WON THE U.S BELT ON HIS DEBUT!!!”

[The ringkeeper hands the belt to the referee who then hands it to K-Os! Slumping to the mat, K-Os rolls to his knees, and clutches the belt tightly. As “Down” pounds from the speakers, the moment hits K-Os harder than all else as he raises the belt above his head in both hands!!]

NTD: “JAY DAWG WAS ROBBED BY THIS ROOKIE!!”

Curry: “THIS ROOKIE IS OUR NEW U.S CHAMP!!”

[As the two scream at the top of their lungs, K-Os looks to the rafters, past them. Jay Dawg rolls to the outside and the referee checks on him as K-Os stands back up, and staggers to the turnbuckle. Stepping to the middle rope, the cameras flash, lighting up the one warrior left standing, and the belt in his hands.]

Curry: “What a match! This one will go down in history folks!

[The show fades to commercial, with the camera focused on K-Os standing on the middle rope, arms raised in victory.........]

April 1, 2002

*Curry: Well, we’ve hit the halfway point of tonight’s show. Three matches down, three to go. We still have Edwin MacPhisto defending his ICTV Title against Sacred, and of course the three-way match for the World Title with Mark Stevens, Xstasy, and the HVille Thugg.

An image of ELM and Fallout standing side-by-side appears on the screen. ELM has the Light-heavyweight Title belt over his shoulder. A caption on the bottom of the screen reads: “Fallout vs. El Luchador Magnifico, two fall match”.

*Curry: But first, El Luchador Magnifico, the new Light-heavyweight Champion, will go one-on-one with the former Light-heavyweight Champion, Fallout.

*NTD: Man, this is really weird.

*Curry: What is?

*NTD: I just can’t get used to Fallout being in a Light-heavyweight Championship match…as the challenger!

*Curry: That’s understandable. He held the title for 141 days. That’s longer than any title reign in SWF history. But it all came to an end nine days ago.

A replay of the closing moments of the LHW Title match from Storm is showed as Curry Man continues to speak.

*Curry: It was a Light-heavyweight Title on a pole match. And on that night, El Luchador Magnifico pulled off what many people had attempted before and failed: He defeated Fallout for the title.

*NTD: That was a bad night for Fallout. Not only did he lose the title, but he lost it to a freakin’ Carnie! It was a dark day for Clan fans everywhere.

*Curry: Yep. All three of them were very depressed.

*NTD: Oh, that was a cheap shot if I ever heard one.

*Curry: Sorry. Couldn’t resist. Anyway, let’s go to Funyon.

The replays end, and the camera cuts to Funyon, standing in the middle of the ring. The Light-heavyweight Championship logo flashes across the screen.

*Funyon: The following contest is scheduled for two falls! The first fall will be for the SWF Light-heavyweight Championship, and the second fall will determine the #1 contender for the SWF World Championship!

The lights go out. “Scum of the Earth” by Rob Zombie begins to play. As soon as the heavy guitar part starts, an explosion hits the entrance area, a faint green glow lights up the arena, and Fallout comes through the curtain. He heads straight for the ring.

*Funyon: Introducing first, from Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at 185 lbs., a member of the Clan…Fallout!

The camera spots a sign in the crowd that has a portrait of Fallout with an arrow pointing at his waist, and the words “Hey Fallout, where’s your title?” Fallout stands in the center of the squared circle, feet apart. He closes his eyes, and slowly lifts his arms skyward. A huge green explosion comes from behind him. He then removes his Clan robe and prepares for the match.

*NTD: Someone take that sign and tear it up.

*Curry: That wouldn’t be right. He’s just exercising his right to free speech.

*NTD: Well, how about I exercise my right to free speech and tell that fan where to stick his sign?

*Curry: Maybe later. Anyway, Fallout has the opportunity to regain the title tonight. But both men have another exciting opportunity as well.

*NTD: Yeah. The first fall is for the title, but the second fall is for a shot at the World Title!

A Mexican voice shouts out, “UNO! DOS! TRES! CUATRO!”, with each word accompanied by an orange burst of pyro from each turnbuckle. From there, “Mission Trip to Mexico” by Bunch of Believers is blasted through the PA, beginning at the chorus of the song. El Luchadore Magnifico bursts out from behind the curtain as the song begins, eliciting a loud cheer from the crowd as he makes his way down the ramp, waving his flag excitedly.

*Funyon: His opponent, from Mexico City, weighing in at 190 lbs., he is a member of the Midnight Carnival and the SWF Light-heavyweight Champion…El Luchador Magnifico!

The camera finds another sign in the crowd. This one looks like a Mexican flag, but with ELM in the middle instead of the eagle. Magnifico takes time to slap a few fans hands, then slides into the ring, drops his flag, and hops onto the second turnbuckle, where he pumps his fist into the air repeatedly. Eventually, he hops off of the turnbuckle and begins stretching as his music dies down.

*Curry: The fans are on their feet for El Luchador Magnifico!

*NTD: I think I’m going to be sick.

*Curry: Mag already has the Light-heavyweight Title in his possession. It’s entirely possible that he could not only retain the title, but get a shot at the World Title as well.

*NTD: Well, anything is possible. But don’t hold your breath. It won’t happen.

*Curry: Why not? Mag is a former World Champion. He’s been on top of the mountain before. Fallout has not.

*NTD: Not yet. But his time has to come soon.

ELM hands his title belt to the referee. The referee holds up the title belt for all to see, and then gives it to the timekeeper.

DING DING DING

Fallout and ELM walk toward each other. They stop near the center of the ring, standing about a foot away from each other, and the staredown begins. Fallout says something to ELM, but he’s speaking too low for the cameras to pick it up. ELM responds with some words of his own, again too quiet for anyone else to hear.

*Curry: What do you suppose they’re saying?

*NTD: I don’t know, but I bet it’s not G-rated.

ELM and Fallout continue to exchange words. After a good 30 seconds or so, the verbal exchange ends, and the two men start to back away. But just before ELM gets out of range, Fallout lets his hand fly and smacks ELM! ELM’s head jerks back from the impact. He stands there for a moment, looking very pissed off. Suddenly, ELM fires back with a smack of his own! Fallout looked angry to begin with (as usual), so the expression on his face doesn’t change much. Fallout slowly turns back toward ELM. After another brief staredown, the two men back away and they start circling each other.

*NTD: Damn. You can cut the hatred with a chainsaw.

*Curry: Yeah…wait, chainsaw?

*NTD: Knife just seems so cliché.

*Curry: True, but chainsaw just seems a little too…

*NTD: …Friday the 13th?

*Curry: Thank you.

ELM and Fallout continue to circle each other. Slowly, they move toward each other and lock up. Fallout turns it into a waistlock. ELM tries to force his way out of it, and eventually he manages to reverse into a waistlock of his own. Before Fallout can fight his way out of the hold, ELM takes him down amateur style, and he immediately floats over and applies a front facelock. Fallout slowly pulls himself back, and he manages to get his foot on the bottom rope. The referee orders ELM to break the hold, and he does. ELM backs away, and Fallout stands up. The two men start circling again. They lock up in the center of the ring, and this time ELM goes into a hammerlock. Fallout starts to bring his arm up, and slowly but surely, he gets himself out of the hammerlock into a top wristlock. However, ELM uses his leg and trips Fallout, causing him to fall face-first on the mat, and he reapplies the hammerlock. Using his free arm, Fallout reaches back and hits ELM in the head a few times, but ELM maintains the hold. However, the punches distract ELM enough that Fallout is able to pull him to the side of the ring and grab the bottom rope. The referee calls for a break again, and ELM releases the hold. Fallout slowly gets up, looking very frustrated.

*Curry: Well, so far it looks like Mag is outwrestling Fallout.

*NTD: He’s cheating. Disqualify him.

*Curry: How is he cheating?

*NTD: Um…uh…

*Curry: Well?

*NTD: Hang on. I’ll think of something.

ELM stands near the opposite side of the ring, waiting patiently for Fallout to approach. Eventually he does, and they start circling again. They start to lock up, but Fallout suddenly pokes ELM in the eye! ELM staggers back, grabbing his eye. The referee gives Fallout a warning, which he ignores. ELM backs up into the ropes. Fallout walks up to him and delivers a knife-edge chop across the chest! (WHOO! ELM winces from the pain. Fallout winds up and delivers another chop! (WHOO! And another! (WHOO! Fallout grabs ELM by the arm. Irish whip, ELM reverses and takes Fallout down with an arm drag! Fallout quickly gets up, but ELM takes him down with another arm drag! Fallout gets up again. ELM takes him by the arm, Irish whip, Fallout reverses and lowers his head, but ELM leap-frogs over him! ELM bounces off the opposite ropes, and as Fallout bends back up, ELM nails him in the back of the head with a dropkick! Fallout staggers forward and falls through the ropes and out of the ring!

*Curry: There goes Fallout! He is having some major problems with the Light-heavyweight Champion tonight!

*NTD: Come on, Fallout. Get it together. You can beat this guy.

*Curry: Well, Fallout has beaten Mag before. And Mag has beaten Fallout before, for that matter.

Fallout gets to his feet and walks around outside the ring. If he wasn’t frustrated before, he certainly is now. ELM looks at Fallout and motions for him to come into the ring. Fallout continues to walk around on the outside, mostly looking at the floor. The referee starts counting.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

ELM walks up to the side of the ring and leans over the ropes, taunting Fallout. The referee stops the count and orders him to step back. He does, but continues his taunting. Fallout glares at him, but remains silent. The referee starts the count over.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

Finally, Fallout climbs up onto the apron. The count is broken. Fallout slowly steps through the ropes, reentering the ring. The two men start circling one more time. They lock up. ELM goes into a waistlock. Fallout throws back a pair of elbows, breaking the hold. Fallout then runs off the ropes, but ELM takes him down with a dropkick! ELM runs off the ropes, Fallout slides underneath him, ELM bounces off the opposite ropes, Fallout leap-frogs over him, ELM bounces off the ropes again, Fallout rolls back for a monkey flip, but ELM flips over him. Both men quickly get up. Fallout charges, ELM sidesteps him, Fallout bounces off the ropes, ELM goes for a hip toss, but Fallout floats over and counters with a hip toss of his own. He immediately drops an elbow, but ELM rolls out of the way. ELM quickly gets up and goes for a leg drop, but Fallout avoids it. As ELM starts to get up, Fallout aims a spin kick at his head, but ELM quickly ducks. He fights back with a leg sweep, but Fallout jumps over it. ELM stands up. Fallout takes a swing at him, but ELM ducks and then kicks Fallout in the midsection. He follows it up with a trio of right hands to the face. Irish whip, Fallout reverses and lowers his head, and he sends ELM flying through the air with a back drop! ELM hits the canvas hard! He gets up, grabbing his back. Fallout grabs him from behind, runs him at the ropes, and throws him out of the ring. ELM hits the floor, and Fallout steps through the ropes to the apron. ELM slowly gets up. Once he is on his feet, Fallout springboards off the middle rope into an Asai Moonsault, taking ELM down!

*Curry: Wow! The bodies are flying through the air! And we’re just getting started!

*NTD: And just like that, Fallout is in control. Things are looking up.

Both men are down for a moment. Fallout is the first one to get up. He grabs ELM and throws him into the ring. Fallout climbs onto the apron and then moves to a nearby corner, and he starts climbing the turnbuckles. ELM manages to stand up, but not for long as Fallout flies off the top turnbuckle and takes ELM down with a missile dropkick! He quickly goes for the cover…

ONE!

…but ELM kicks out before the referee can even get to two. Fallout grabs ELM and brings him to his feet. He then drags the champion into the corner and slams his head into the top turnbuckle. Fallout follows up with a pair of punches to the face and a knife-edge chop. (WHOO! He brings ELM out of the corner. Irish whip, and Fallout takes him down with a drop toehold. Fallout adds an elbow drop. He gets up and drops another elbow into ELM’s back. He gets back up, and he drops a third elbow. Fallout then runs off the ropes and nails ELM with a running leg drop across the back of his head. Fallout brings ELM to his feet. He sets him up, and delivers a snap suplex. Fallout goes for the cover…

ONE!

TWO!

…and ELM kicks out again.

*Curry: Well, we’re seeing some strong wrestling from the challenger so far.

*NTD: Of course we are. That’s why he held that title for 141 days, Curry Man.

*Curry: There are other reasons why he held the title for so long, but I won’t go into that now.

*NTD: What are you suggesting?

*Curry: Oh nothing.

Fallout buries his fist into ELM’s head several times. The referee orders him to open the fist and starts a five count.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

Fallout ceases the attack. He brings ELM to his feet. Fallout whips him into the corner and charges after him. ELM tries to sling over him, but Fallout catches ELM’s legs on his shoulders. However, ELM pushes himself off the top turnbuckle and takes Fallout down with a headscissor takeover! Fallout gets up and charges, but ELM takes him down with a drop toehold…and he locks in the Sangria Stretch on the way down! Fallout screams from the pain! He reaches for the ropes, but they’re just out of reach. Fallout uses his free arm to pull himself closer to the ropes. He reaches out again, and he grabs the bottom rope. ELM releases the hold.

*Curry: Mag had the Sangria Stretch locked in, but Fallout was too close to the ropes.

*NTD: Aw, isn’t that too bad.

Fallout stands up. ELM hits him with a few kicks to the midsection. Irish whip, ELM lowers his head, but Fallout counters with a Sunset Flip…

ONE!

TWO!

…and ELM kicks out. Both men get up. Fallout kicks ELM in the midsection, Irish whip, Fallout goes for a clothesline, but ELM grabs his arm, pulls himself up behind Fallout, wraps his legs around Fallout’s other arm, and pulls Fallout down into a Crucifix…

ONE!

TWO!

…and Fallout kicks out. Both men get up. ELM leaps up and takes Fallout down with a Hurricanrana into a pin…

ONE!

TWO!

…but Fallout kicks out again. Fallout quickly pulls ELM down into a Small Package…

ONE!

TWO!

…but ELM escapes before the count of three. Fallout takes a swing at ELM, but he ducks and grabs Fallout from behind. He goes for a belly-to-back suplex…but Fallout lands on his feet! He applies a waistlock from behind, pushes ELM into the ropes, and rolls him back into a pin…

ONE!

TWO!

…but ELM kicks Fallout off, and Fallout stumbles through the ropes and out of the ring! Fallout slowly gets up on the outside. ELM moves to a corner and starts climbing the turnbuckles. Fallout gets to his feet, but ELM brings him back down with a cross-body attack!

*Curry: Holy hell! A cross-body from the top rope to the floor!

*NTD: That Carnie is out of his mind! But come to think of it, I don’t think he was ever in his mind.

*Curry: Oh, stop it.

ELM gets to his feet, and he helps Fallout up. He drags Fallout over to the ringside barricade and tries to slam Fallout’s head into it, but Fallout blocks. Fallout tries to slam ELM’s head into the barricade, and he succeeds. ELM staggers away from the barricade, holding his head. Fallout grabs his arm, gives it a good twist, and whips ELM toward the stairs, but ELM reverses the whip…however, Fallout leaps up and lands safely on top of the stairs! But as Fallout turns around, ELM charges at him, leaps onto the stairs, hooks Fallout’s arm, and falls backward, taking Fallout from the ring steps to the floor with an arm drag! Fallout hits the floor with a sickening thud!

*Curry: Whoa! That had to hurt.

*NTD: I’m hurting after watching that impact.

*Curry: The floor around the ring is padded, but the pads don’t eliminate pain.

*NTD: They just keep you from getting killed.

ELM stands up. He grabs Fallout and rolls him back into the ring. ELM slides into the ring as well. Fallout slowly stands up. ELM grabs him, sets him up, and hits him with a snap suplex. The Light-heavyweight Champion brings Fallout back up, and he whips him into the corner. ELM charges into the corner…but Fallout dodges the attack and instead of driving his shoulder into Fallout, ELM goes between the ropes and nails the ring post! Fallout pauses for a moment to catch his breath, and then he pulls ELM away from the ring post. Fallout climbs up to the middle turnbuckle, and he applies a front facelock. Fallout then leaps away from the corner…and drives ELM’s head into the mat with a Tornado DDT! Fallout hooks the leg…

ONE!

TWO!

…but ELM gets the shoulder up!

*NTD: Come on! That was three!

*Curry: It was not three. It was two.

*NTD: It was a slow count. It should have been three.

Fallout apparently agrees with NTD. He holds up three fingers at the referee. The referee holds up two. Fallout gives up the argument after about ten seconds and turns his attention back to ELM, who is starting to get up. Fallout grabs ELM by the arm and whips him into the corner. ELM hits the turnbuckles hard and then falls face-first to the mat. Fallout walks up to him, rolls him over, and hooks both legs…

ONE!

…Fallout sticks his feet on the ropes, but the referee doesn’t see it…

TWO!

TH-no! ELM still manages to kick out.

*Curry: Mag was able to get the shoulder up. We almost had a screwjob right there.

*NTD: How was that a screwjob?

*Curry: His feet were on the ropes.

*NTD: So what? He does that all the time.

Fallout brings ELM to his feet. He scoops him up, and slams him to the mat. Fallout them moves into the corner and climbs the turnbuckles. As he is climbing, ELM starts getting up. Fallout gets to the top turnbuckle, and he waits for ELM to stand. Once ELM is up, Fallout leaps off the turnbuckle and takes ELM down with a flying cross-body attack into a pin…but ELM uses Fallout’s own momentum to roll him over…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

*Curry: He got him!

*NTD: What!?

Fallout kicks out, but he’s just a fraction of a second too late! The referee calls for the bell!

DING DING DING

Fallout stands up. He is in absolute shock. He looks at the referee, holding up two fingers. The referee insists that his shoulders were down for three. “Mission Trip to Mexico” begins to play.

*Funyon: The winner of the first fall…and still SWF Light-heavyweight Champion…EL LUCHADOR MAGNIFICO!!!

*Curry: El Luchador Magnifico has won the first fall!

*NTD: You talk about screwjobs? There’s a screwjob right there! He kicked out, dammit!

*Curry: He kicked out after the count of three, NTD. He was about a quarter of a count too late. That’s the end of the first fall. Mag retains the Light-heavyweight Title.

*NTD: Stupid referee.

*Curry: And now we go to the second fall. The winner will be the #1 contender for the SWF World Title.

ELM’s music fades out. Fallout continues to argue with the referee, but it doesn’t look like he’s about to reverse his decision. Fallout suddenly pushes the referee! And the referee pushes back! Fallout continues to exchange words with the referee, but as he does, ELM crawls up behind him and pulls him down into a School Boy…

ONE!

TWO!

TH-no! Fallout gets the shoulder up. Both men quickly get up, but Fallout takes ELM down with a spinning heel kick. Fallout grabs ELM and brings him to his feet. He applies a waistlock from behind and tries to lift ELM into a German suplex, but ELM counters with a rollup…

ONE!

TWO!

…but Fallout kicks out again. Both men stand up. ELM attacks Fallout with several quick right hands, backing him down. ELM then runs in the opposite direction, bounces off the ropes, and charges at Fallout…but Fallout back drops ELM over the top rope! However, ELM lands on the apron! Fallout starts to walk away from the ropes, not realizing that ELM landed safely. ELM takes advantage of the situation and he leaps onto the top rope, springboards off of it…and nails Fallout with the South American Stunner! Fallout goes down, and ELM goes for the pin…

ONE!

TWO!

TH-no! Fallout barely avoids the count of three.

*Curry: Oh man, that was close!

*NTD: The referee noticed when Fallout kicked out then. But he didn’t notice a few minutes ago, did he? DID HE!?

*Curry: Let it go, you fool. Just let it go.

ELM drags Fallout into the corner. He hooks both of Fallout’s arms and then spins around into a backslide position. ELM runs up the ropes and flips over Fallout, but Fallout manages to free his arms, avoiding the Baja California Crusher. ELM lands on his feet in front of Fallout, who kicks him in the midsection, applies a front facelock…but ELM pushes Fallout back into the turnbuckles. ELM drives his shoulder into Fallout’s gut a few times. He then whips Fallout into the opposite corner, but Fallout reverses the whip and ELM hits the turnbuckles. Fallout charges in, but runs right into ELM’s boot. He staggers back a bit, and ELM charges at him with a clothesline, but Fallout ducks, reaches back, grabs ELM’s head, and drops him with a neckbreaker. Fallout slowly gets up. ELM gets up as well. Fallout hits ELM with a few right hands to the face, backing him into the ropes. He follows it up with a knife-edge chop. (WHOO! Make it two. (WHOO! Third time’s a charm. (WHOO! But ELM retaliates with a chop of his own! (WHOO! And another! (WHOO! And another! (WHOO! ELM backs up and bounces off the ropes, runs at Fallout, and leaps into the air with a flying clothesline…but Fallout dives out of the way and ELM hits the referee instead! ELM stands up, a look of shock on his face. As he stands there, looking down at the fallen referee, Fallout comes up behind him, applies a waistlock…and takes ELM down with a release German suplex!

*Curry: Great. Now we have no referee.

*NTD: You think Fallout’s going to take advantage of that?

*Curry: (sarcastic) No, he would never do that.

Fallout rolls out of the ring and starts walking toward the timekeeper’s table. Fallout grabs the Light-heavyweight Title belt from the timekeeper’s lap and tries to walk away with it. The timekeeper holds onto the belt, preventing Fallout from taking it. But Fallout punches him in the face, knocking him down, and then he takes the belt into the ring. ELM slowly stands up, holding the back of his head. The referee starts getting up as well. Both men are facing away from Fallout, who lies in wait, motioning for ELM to get up. ELM and the referee both make it to their feet. ELM slowly turns around, and Fallout charges at him, intending to nail his head with the belt…but ELM dives out of the way and Fallout nails the referee in the back of the head with the belt! The impact knocks him out of the ring! He’s out cold!

*Curry: If the referee wasn’t out of it before, he’s definitely out of it now!

*NTD: It was an accident. He wasn’t aiming for the referee.

*Curry: He was still using a weapon, NTD. This isn’t a no-DQ match.

ELM kicks Fallout in the midsection, causing him to drop the belt. He follows up with a trio of punches to the face, backing Fallout into the ropes. Irish whip, ELM lowers his head…but Fallout counters the attempted back drop by nailing ELM in the head with a dropkick! ELM goes down. Fallout grabs the Light-heavyweight Title belt and waits for ELM to stand again. Once ELM gets up, Fallout charges at him with the belt…and this time he does not miss! ELM goes down. Fallout tosses the belt out of the ring. He positions ELM in the center of the ring, and then Fallout walks over to the ropes. He steps through them onto the apron, and then turns to face ELM, who lies motionless. Fallout jumps up, springboards off the top rope…AND HITS ELM WITH THE NUKE! Fallout hooks the leg…but there’s no referee!

*Curry: The Nuke found its target, but the referee is still down!

*NTD: Wait…someone’s coming.

Another referee comes through the curtain and runs down to the ring! Fallout motions for him to hurry up. The referee climbs into the ring and gets in position…

ONE!

TWO!

THR-NO! ELM kicks out!

*Curry: Yes! He kicked out! Mag kicked out!

*NTD: He wouldn’t have kicked out if that damned referee hadn’t taken so long to get out here!

Fallout is furious! He complains rather loudly to the referee that he should have counted to three. The referee says it was only two. Fallout gives up the argument and exits the ring. He walks toward the timekeeper’s table again. The timekeeper has apparently learned his lesson and gets out of the way. Fallout grabs the timekeeper’s chair and takes it into the ring.

*Curry: Now this does not look smart. Fallout cannot become the #1 contender if he gets himself disqualified. I know that sounds painfully obvious, but Fallout doesn’t seem to understand it.

*NTD: You’re right. I think Fallout has lost it.

*Curry: Well, that’s nothing new.

*NTD: True.

ELM slowly stands up. Fallout lifts the chair over his head…but the referee grabs it from behind and takes it away! Fallout glares at the referee. He grabs him by the shirt and threatens to punch him…but ELM suddenly grabs Fallout from behind and hits him with a German suplex with a bridge…

ONE!

TWO!

TH-but Fallout kicks out just in time! Both men slowly get up. ELM kicks Fallout in the gut, and then grabs his arm and gives it a good twist. Irish whip, Fallout reverses and nails ELM with a superkick! ELM goes down. Fallout drops to his knees, trying to catch his breath.

*Curry: The battle to determine the #1 contender for the World Title rages on. Which one will it be? Will it be El Luchador Magnifico? Or will it be Fallout?

*NTD: You know who I’m betting on.

*Curry: Everyone knows you you’re betting on.

Fallout finally catches his breath, and he brings ELM to his feet and drags him into the corner. Fallout scoops him up and slams him to the mat. He then starts climbing the turnbuckles, facing away from ELM. Fallout gets to the top turnbuckle, apparently setting up for a Moonsault…but ELM gets up and pushes Fallout’s legs out from under him, and he falls into a very uncomfortable position on the top rope! ELM climbs up after Fallout. Once he gets to the top, he sets Fallout up for a belly-to-back superplex. But before he can execute the move, Fallout throws back an elbow, trying to break the hold. Two more elbows later, the hold is broken, and ELM falls down to the mat. Fallout sets himself up again, and flies back into a Moonsault…but ELM gets his knees up and drives them into Fallout’s gut! Both men are down!

*Curry: Fallout went for a Moonsault, but Mag had it scouted well!

*NTD: Have I mentioned how much I hate Carnies?

*Curry: Yes. Too many times to count. Too many times period!

The referee starts a ten-count.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

*NTD: What happens if they get counted out?

FOUR!

*Curry: By my understanding of the rules, we’d have no winner, and therefore no #1 contender.

FIVE!

Both men start getting up, slowly.

*NTD: That would suck.

*Curry: I agree.

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

NINE!

Both men are on their feet and the count is broken. Fallout throws a punch at ELM, but he blocks it. ELM throws a punch of his own, and he connects! Fallout tries another right hand, but ELM blocks and counters with another fist to the face! And another! And another! But Fallout rakes the eyes and stops the offense of ELM. Irish whip, ELM reverses, Fallout bounces off the ropes, ELM leap-frogs over him, Fallout bounces off the opposite ropes, ELM rolls back, and as Fallout comes in, ELM uses his feet to Monkey Flip Fallout to the other side of the ring! Fallout gets up slowly, grabbing his back. ELM grabs him by the arm, Irish whip, ELM lowers his head, and he hits Fallout with a huge back drop! Fallout slowly gets up. ELM grabs him by the arm and whips him toward the corner, but Fallout reverses the whip and charges after ELM. However, ELM slings over Fallout and then nails him with a dropkick to the back of the head! Fallout staggers forward, and his face bounces off the turnbuckles. ELM grabs him from behind, lifts him up, and drops Fallout with a belly-to-back suplex. ELM then positions Fallout near the corner and starts climbing the turnbuckles.

*Curry: It looks like it may be time for the Mexican Pride Press. Mag has put away many people with this move.

*NTD: This is not looking good.

ELM gets to the top turnbuckle and looks down at Fallout, who hasn’t moved. ELM then leaps into the air…but Fallout rolls out of the way, avoiding the Mexican Pride Press, and ELM hits the canvas hard!

*Curry: He went for it all, but Fallout rolled out of the way!

*NTD: Thank you!

Fallout slowly gets up. He looks at the fallen ELM, and he grabs him and brings him to his feet. Fallout applies a front facelock…but ELM nails Fallout with a series of punches to the midsection, preventing him from executing the Meltdown. ELM slips out of the hold. Fallout runs forward with a clothesline, but ELM ducks…and Fallout would’ve hit the referee, but this one seems to have better reflexes than the first one, and he dives out of the way. Before Fallout can turn around, ELM grabs him from behind in a waistlock…but Fallout kicks his leg back, nailing ELM with a low blow! The referee was out of position from dodging Fallout’s clothesline and didn’t see it.

*Curry: That was a low blow! But the referee didn’t see it!

*NTD: Was it a low blow? Sorry, my monitor went out.

Fallout grabs ELM, applies the front facelock one more time…AND HITS ELM WITH THE MELTDOWN!!! Fallout hooks the leg…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

DING DING DING

“Scum of the Earth” begins to play. Fallout rolls out of the ring and starts to walk up the ramp, leaving ELM lying in the middle of the ring.

*Funyon: The winner of the second fall, and the new #1 contender for the SWF World Championship…FALLOUT!!!

*Curry: Dammit! Fallout has screwed El Luchador Magnifico out of a World Title shot!

*NTD: Oh, quit your bitching. He won fair and square.

*Curry: Fair and square my ass! That was a low blow and you know it! Don’t give me this my-monitor-went-out crap!

*NTD: Sheesh! What’s your problem? It’s not like the Carnie is going away empty-handed. He still has the Light-heavyweight Title. Why must you be so upset with Fallout winning the second fall? Seriously, Curry Man, you have some anger issues that need to be dealt with. I think you need counseling.

*Curry: You’re the one who doesn’t wear pants, and I need counseling? Oh, this is rich.

April 1, 2002

“…and then watch ‘em burn…”

A fizzle of orange pyrotechnics sparkle at the entrance ramp of the Bradley center…

“Burn, burn, yes, ya gonna burn!”

BOOM! A single column of orange erupts!

“Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn!”

BOOM! Two columns rock upward!

“Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn!”

BOOM! The capacity crowd is on its feet as three arcs of orange flame shoot to the sky!

“Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn!”

BOOOOOOOOM! A full wall of pyrotechnics enshrouds the entrance ramp as “Bombtrack” by Rage Against the Machine continues to blare on, celebrating a return to Milwaukee and the Smarks Wrestling Federation’s Battleground II pay-per-view event! The camera spins across the crowd for the umpteenth time tonight, this time revealing a horde of signs ranging from “WORLD TITLE TRIPLE PLAY FOR THE HEAVY HITTER!” to “JD IS BEINGZ DESTROYEDz0r BY n00bz!!1!” After one more delirious whirl, the camera settles on our announce table, where Curry Man and NTD sit, festooned with pastel colors and copious amounts of matzo!

“Welcome back to Battleground II,” shouts Curry, “a very special Easter pay-per-view, and our first official pay-per-view show under the Smarks brand!”

“Don’t forget Passover!” shouts NTD, lovingly brandishing a bottle of Manischewitz in each hand.

“Nathaniel, what did I tell you about chugging the Passover wine?”

“…that it was a good idea and I should do it over and over again?”

Curry shakes his head, and then returns his attention to the roaring crowd and the camera. “No matter how drunk NTD gets during this holiday season, one thing’s for sure—this next match will be one to remember! It’s Da Pound’s Sacred against his Midnight Carnival counterpart Edwin MacPhisto, with Edwin’s Intercontinental-Television Championship on the line!”

“And a whole lot more too!” cackles NTD, slurping more of his fine wine. “There’s a big issue of pride here, and a big issue of whether Sacred gets to take the entrance music that’s rightfully his and ride Edwin’s precious ‘Love Rollercoaster’ all the way to the bank!”

“You’ve got a bit of point there, NTD, but remember this: only the ICTV title is on the line tonight! No matter what happens tonight, there’s little doubt in my mind that Sacred and Edwin are going to be far from finished even when this match was over! It’s gotten personal!” Curry turns toward camera, then continues to speak. “Folks, we’d be happy to show you a recap of what’s happened so far between these two competitors, but since most of that recap would consist of Sacred laughing kind of evilly and Edwin getting clobbered lightly with plastic bowls, we figured it would be kind of redundant. Instead, we’re going to do a live reproduction of the hostilities, right here! NTD, will you please say ‘rollercoaster of love’ in a British accent?”

“Uh…” NTD hesitates, but the Manischewitz gets the best of his inhibitions. “Rollercoaster of bloody love!”

WHACK! Curry clobbers him with a plastic bowl from under the announce table, and lets forth a ribald and semi-evil “Muahahahaha!” “I’ve wanted to do that for years!” chuckles the spicy play-by-play man, and as NTD rubs his head and mutters something along the lines of “ridiculous spicy bastard,” the lights in the arena drop out, and a shrill blast of ridiculous, vocoder-modulated, evil laughter echoes out through the arena…

“Muahahahahahahaha…”

For a harsh split-second, an unfocused, black-and-white flash of Sacred’s face appears on the SWFTron, and the arena falls into a blurred mixture of black and white as a cloud of mist, spiraling out like the swirls of a snowdrift, begins to envelop the entrance ramp. The opening chords of Slayer’s “Seasons of the Abyss” ring out into the Bradley Center, and then—

“REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMIX!” A sharp Australian voice, none other than that of Andrew Loire, the Sacred One and self-professed minister of evil, cuts through the tune with the power of a thousand ninjas diving through tissue paper. A sharp sound of a record dragging hits the speakers, and then the opening beats of the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Rollercoaster of Love” rip through the arena!

“You give me that funny feeling in my EVIL tummy…”

“Oh god,” moans Curry, and the boos of the crowd swell to monumental levels as NTD gets up out of his seat.

“Woo-hoo! Dance party of evil, bay-bee!”

“ROLLERCOASTER! OF EEEVIL! ROLLERCOASTER! OF EE, EE, VIL!”

Shimmying out of the shadows struts an imposing silhouette, straight from the Outback and bearing a plastic bowl on his finger, spinning it like a Harlem Globetrotter might spin a basketball—it’s Sacred, a pleasantly wicked smile plastered across his face as he struts down the ramp, loving the fusion of the crowd’s hateful reception and his newly retooled Evil Sacred Booty Megamix 2002. In the center of the ring, Funyon stands, microphone in hand!

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall,” he bellows over the stolen theme music, “and it is for the Smarks Wrestling Federation Intercontinental-Television Title! Entering first, the challenger, from Adelaide, Australia, standing at 6’1” and weighing in at 231 EEEEEEEVIL pounds, a member of Da Pound, he is SAAAAAAAAAAAAAACRED!”

“And here he comes,” shouts Curry over the boos, “the man who beat the Prophet Tyler McClelland for this shot at Edwin MacPhisto’s ICTV title.”

“You mean the evilest mofo to come down the pike since Neilsen of the Jungle!”

“…no, I mean a kid from Australia who thinks he’s the greatest thing since Satan.”

“Same thing!”

As Curry and NTD bicker and banter, Sacred slides into the ring and stays prone on his stomach for a moment before springing upwards and giving Funyon quite a shock. Sacred bears the plastic bowl high over his head to a roar of disdain, then hands the plastic vendetta maker over to Funyon, who’s rather clueless as to what to do with it. Thankfully, before he can look too inept, the lights of the Bradley Center drop out again, and this time the crowd is on its feet with approval and wild whoops, as a thin, hovering oscillation of sound marks the beginning of “Battleflag.” The SWFTron lights up with fading silhouettes of the Mac Daddy, barely illuminating the Bradley Center. The distinct British voice of the Carnival ringmaster floats out through the rafters, and the crowd waits with cheers and baited breath…

“Hippity hoppity, hippity hop, here comes Edwin, down the bunny trail, ready to teach Sacred a fine lesson of how we celebrate Easter in England. Now, Mssr. Loire—ooh, that rhymes!—you may well be from Australia, and you may well consider yourself to be an evil, evil beast. Judging from your fashion sense and your raccoon-esque eye paint, I’m not going to try to reason with you, but I am going to lay down the law, plain and bloody simple! You’re from Australia! I’m from England! You’re our prison colony, ‘mate’! So, tonight, I’ll be jailing you in the center of that ring, in a most elegant and showy manner…”

As Edwin speaks, a light beat and the sound of a human beat box drops in, while two blue pendulous spotlights sway back and forth over the entrance ramp…

“But tonight, after I walk out of here with the title, we won’t be seeing another Easter miracle. The count will be one, two, three, but on the third count, you, oh dearest Sacred, won’t be resurrected to fight another day! You’ll be down and out, like Tom Waits on the Downtown Train, expect with your head ringing and a little pain! Prepare to become my prison bitch, Aussie-man, in an entirely heterosexual and masculinity affirming fashion! There’s one thing you’ve forgotten, one highest commandment that you’ve neglected to recall on this holiday: thou shalt not steal the Carnival’s theme music!”

As Edwin finishes his speech, the blue lights spiral out into the audience and spin back in towards the entrance, colliding in a flash of wild purple strobe lights as suddenly, the music changes a step and the rocking refrain of “Rollercoaster of Love” pounds through the arena! “This is the real deal, NTD! No silly Sacred remixes here—it’s the Carnival’s tune, plain and simple, and nothing will ever change that!” As the music and wild spinning disco lights work the crowd into a frenzy, Edwin appears at the top of the ramp, Union Jack muscle shirt across his chest and red vinyl trenchcoat flaring behind him as he dashes down the ramp, the ICTV title fastened across his waist and a basket of Easter candy in his arms! As he charges towards the ring and slings chocolate rabbits into the crowd, Funyon announces!

“And his opponent, standing 6’6” and weighing in at 239 pounds, from Amsterdam, England, he is the leader of the Midnight Carnival and YOUR Intercontinental-Television chamPEEN, Edwin MacPhistOOOOO!” Edwin dives into the ring as “Rollercoaster of Love” blares, and he wings the remaining contents of the Easter basket along with his sunglasses into the crowd. He suavely slips out of his coat and tosses it to the referee, but before Edwin can hand off his title belt, Sacred is on him with a cheap shot to the back of the head! The balled fist of the Aussie knocks Edwin into the ropes as he tries to unclasp his belt, and the referee quickly signals for the bell as Funyon dives to safety! “Blatant cheap shot from Sacred, and we’re underway!” calls Curry. The crowd heat is intense and the ring of the bell is nearly lost underneath the swarm of boos and the dying strain of “Rollercoaster.” With Edwin mildly stunned, Sacred takes him by the arm and whips him across the ring. Edwin rebounds off the ropes, and a poised Sacred unloads with a swift flying forearm, knocking Edwin straight to the mat! The Mac Daddy is up in a flash, but Sacred is on him just as quickly with a barrage of knife-edge chops to the muscle-shirted chest. Edwin staggers backwards underneath the blows as Sacred drives him back towards the ropes. The ICTV belt hangs from his waist, half unbuckled and swinging as Sacred grabs an arm lock. “Sacred’s tearing into the champ early on,” says Curry, “and now he’s got Edwin by the arm—no, by the belt!” Sacred transitions his grip from Edwin’s arm to his waist, yanking the loose belt against Edwin’s abdomen with hard pull after hard pull, systemically taking all the wind out of him! As Edwin stumbles under the assault and doubles over, Sacred rips the ICTV belt off and looks at it lovingly for a moment before raising it high over his head!

“Dash his brains out, Sacred!” encourages NTD, but before Sacred can strike, the referee darts in from behind and snatches the belt out of his hands. Sacred turns to meet the referee’s stare with a sad, puppy dog face, as if to say “you stole my toy!” The wonder from down under stalks towards the referee, leaving Edwin unoccupied on the ropes.

“Why’s Sacred angry with the ref?” questions Curry. “If he’d have hit Edwin with the belt, this would have been the shortest ICTV title match since NTD was handed the belt!”

“It’s his nature, Curry. You know that fable about the scorpion and the frog, and the crossing the river?”

“Uh, yeah, with the stinging and the drowning, and the ‘it’s my nature’, and all that?”

“Exactly! Well…Sacred’s like the big walrus that eats both the scorpion and the frog!”

“There’s no walrus in--”

“SILENCE! There’s match going on here!”

As Sacred closes on the referee, the crowd noise increases greatly, suddenly moving from intense heat to massive cheers. A wolf-whistle sounds out from behind Sacred, and he turns just in time to see a massive MacPhisto crossbody block coming at him off the top rope! Edwin’s entire body crashes into Sacred and the two fall to the mat, bouncing off as Edwin snags Sacred’s leg and pulls him into a quick roll-up! The referee tosses the ICTV belt aside and drops to the mat!

ONE!

TWO—and Sacred kicks out explosively, decking Edwin across the jaw with a sharp right and scrambling away! “Edwin takes advantage of a great opportunity by taking to the skies and taking Sacred down!” calls Curry. “Funny how that works, NTD—a year ago, Sacred probably would have been the first man to go to the top rope, but in his quest to become more evil, he’s left the high-flying style behind in favor of a wicked technical assault!”

“And wicked it is! Muahahaha!”

“Stop that!”

“No!”

NTD keeps cackling, and in the ring, Edwin jogs towards the scrambling Sacred. As he closes, Sacred spins and launches a right hook, but Edwin catches with his left arm and unloads a stiff right jab to the loony Aussie’s jaw! Sacred’s head whips back like a punching back, and Edwin unloads another jab! And another! And another! With a loud bellow of “Yo, Adriaaaaaan!”, Edwin ‘Rocky’ MacPhisto draws a big laugh from the crowd! Sacred wobbles after the four punches, and Edwin rears back his right palm, releases Sacred’s arm, gyrates his hips, and rockets forward to deliver a stiff shotei straight into Sacred’s chest! Sacred leaves the ground and sails back into the corner, and Edwin moves in, locks his waist, and pulls him right back out with a picture-perfect Northern Lights suplex! “Edwin takes Sacred back to the middle of the ring with the Northern Lights out of the corner, and the Mac Daddy is on fire tonight—and he’s already going back up to the top rope!” A wild grin on his face, Edwin quickly scales the turnbuckle and poises himself at the top. Flashbulbs erupt, forever capturing his wild reddish mane and manic grin on celluloid, and the Crown Prince of Flash and Panache kicks off the turnbuckle, spinning outward and leading with his back and elbow as he streaks towards Sacred!

“Here comes the twisting elbow press,” shouts Curry, tinged with anticipation…and Sacred rolls out of the way! Edwin crashes into the mat and his leading elbow gets a rude awakening! Sacred is already to his feet and charging as Edwin stumbles to his knees, and a running boot to the jaw puts the Mac Daddy right back down. Sacred steps over Edwin and pulls him up into a front face lock, then cinches his pants at the waist. He pulls Edwin up high for a vertical suplex and slams Edwin down with an impressive show of strength and balance, leaving the ring thundering. Sacred crawls over Edwin and hooks his leg for his first cover of the night!

ONE!

TWO—and Edwin kicks out forcibly! Sacred slaps a palm right across Edwin’s throat and immediately begins to choke him down to the mat, but the ref quickly counts to four and forces Sacred off of the champion. Sacred climbs right back onto Edwin, this time wrenching him by the right arm and quickly wrapping it around the Mac Daddy’s own neck! Edwin flails away with his free left arm and manages to get a hand on Sacred, but Sacred holds on and falls to the mat, drilling Edwin with a cross-arm neckbreaker and quickly rolling into another pin! “Sacred with the second pin in rapid succession, this time off the Knifey-Spooney—do we have a new champion?” wonders Curry.

ONE!

TWO!

TH—and Edwin kicks out, just barely escaping the fast and shocking necktie smash. Cackling a bold “Muahahahaha,” the union-certified Evil Sacred pulls Edwin up from behind by his hair, keeping the taller man bent at the knees and trapped in a reverse chinlock. The aggressive Australian nails a particularly evil headbutt to the back of Edwin’s neck, then threads his right arm through Edwin’s right elbow and pulls the arm back in a tight chicken-wing. “Looks like Sacred’s setting up for a Tiger suplex!” calls Curry.

“Or a square dance!” suggest the ever-innovative NTD. As Sacred moves to thread Edwin’s left arm, all hopes of a hilarious hoedown are sadly extinguished, but Edwin’s determined to bust out of the hold! He thrashes his left elbow as Sacred tries to capture it, a snapping bird after an unruly warm, and finally Edwin connects with an elbow right into Sacred’s ribs! Sacred falters for a second, and that gap is long enough for Edwin to spin, drop his knees, and use already locked arm to arm drag Sacred over and down to the mat! As Sacred kicks up off the mat, Edwin maintains the hold on his right arm and quickly steps forward to take him into a rear waistlock! The Mac Daddy vaults backwards and takes Sacred with him in a crushing German suplex, then holds on for another! Edwin floats back again, but this time Sacred shifts his weight forward and glides back down to the mat, still waistlocked but also still standing. In a flash Sacred’s arms shoot back and snag the sides of Edwin’s head, and the clever Sacred One kicks his feet and sits out, cracking Edwin’s jaw across his shoulder with a wicked jawbreaker to escape the hold!

“Sacred takes an impressive reversal out of that second German suplex, and now Edwin’s down! Against someone as deluded as Sacred,” suggests Curry, “Edwin’s going to really have to turn up the heat if he’s going to pull out the victory. He was able to build his intensity and beat Fallout on SmarkDown, but will he be able to do the same on the eager and hungry Sacred?”

“Of course not!”

“…that was a rhetorical question, you blithering retard.” NTD just grins as Curry chides him, and in the ring, Sacred rises back to his feet, rubbing his shoulder lightly thanks to the impact of Edwin’s jaw. The Mac Daddy is worse for the wear as he gets back to his knees, and Sacred helps him along with a hair pull. Suddenly, Sacred wrenches him up drives a knee into his ribcage, doubling Edwin over and cinching his left arm! Sacred stands over Edwin and grins as the crowd’s boos become tremendous, and Curry has a fit!

“Cruel Fate! Just like Sacred’s ready for the Cruel Fate!” Sacred leaps into the air, but as he falls forward, Edwin rises and flips him backward with a desperation back body drop! Still holding on to some of his old-school agility, Sacred comes out of the flip and lands on his feet, drawing an impressed “ooh” from the otherwise hateful crowd. Edwin turns, expected to see a downed Australian, but instead he eats a fiery shuffle sidekick to the jaw!

“And down goes Edwin—again! Muahahahaa!”

“Will you stop that?” pleads Curry. “Just because you like Sacred doesn’t mean you have to imitate his laugh every three seconds!”

“Fine!” There is a brief silence. “…MUAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Curry sighs, and in the ring Edwin sighs a bit too, but moreso from pain than frustration. As Edwin lays on his back, Sacred takes one running step forward, leaps, and drops a leg right across Edwin’s throat! The Mac Daddy sputters and coughs, and Sacred dives through the window of opportunity with a roll-up!

ONE!

TWO!—Edwin shoves off the mat and rolls forward, reversing the cradle and trapping Sacred much to the crowd’s delight!

ONE!

TWO!—and Sacred kicks off and rolls forward himself, returning Edwin to the original position and pressing his leg down even harder!

ONE!

TW—and Edwin reverses out again, this time dropping into a back roll and nestling Sacred down with an inside cradle!

ONE!

TWO!

TH—Edwin nearly gets the fall over the unorthodox reversal, but Sacred rolls out to the side and rights himself, pulling Edwin’s shoulders with him and trapping the Mac Daddy in backslide!

ONE!

TWO—and Edwin desperately bursts out of the backslide, rocketing to the side and breaking away from Sacred entirely with a firm push off the mat! The crowd claps and hoots for the impressive mat sequence, and as Edwin catches his breath and gets to his feet near the turnbuckle, Sacred kips-up and turns on a dime! Edwin looks up and his jaw drops slightly, shocked at Sacred’s quick turnaround time. The look of shock evolves into one of impending doom as Sacred steamrolls forward and Edwin braces for impact…Sacred charges and leaps with all his strength…

WHAMCLANG! Sacred connects with the Kamikaze and drills Edwin backfirst into the ringpost! Edwin starts to fall against the post, but before he can slide down Sacred drops into a back roll of his own and yanks Edwin out of the corner with a snappy bridged roll-up, folding Edwin over himself, back to the mat and legs in the air! “Amazing sequence, and Sacred’s got a fast cover after the Kamikaze!” cries Curry. The referee, nigh-exhausted from all these recent pinfalls, drops to the mat and counts another one!

ONE!

TWO!

TH—Edwin kicks out and barely escapes the Kamikaze/roll-up combination, but the explosive escape expends the last of his reserves and he falls flat to the mat. Sacred climbs to his feet and stands over Edwin, then leaps into the air and drops both his knees hard across Edwin’s sternum! Edwin cries out in pain and the sound of bone meeting bone echoes through the Bradley Center, and the crowd hisses and starts up a boisterous “SACRED SUCKS IT” chant. “The crowd’s letting Sacred know what they think of him, but for all their scorn,” says Curry, “they can’t deny that he’s put on an excellent showing thus far. So far we’ve seen a very sound technical assault from both men, which is something you don’t usually expect from the ruffians of Da Pound!”

“Are you dissin’ on my boyz HVT and bad J-D?”

“They’re not your ‘boyz,’ NTD. They’re street toughs, and so is Sacred…albeit a slightly less sane street tough, but a street tough nonetheless!” Sacred leaps for another kneedrop and connects, and Edwin tries to roll towards the ropes without much luck. Sacred grabs Edwin’s left arm as it reaches for the bottom ropes and wrenches it over his knee with a nasty armbar, sending jolts of pain through Edwin’s arm up to his shoulder as the Mac Daddy tries to get back to his feet. As the crowd sees Edwin rise to one knee and fight to get back up, the “SACRED SUCKS IT” chant gradually gives way to the chant we all know and love:

“MAC-PHIST-OOOOO!

MAC-PHIST-OOOOO!

MAC-PHIST-RAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” The crowd breaks into a roar on the third chant as Edwin rockets to his feet and meets Sacred’s gaze, looking done at him from 5 inches above! Edwin rears back his free right hand and launches it forward, slapping Sacred hard across the cheek and causing him to release the left arm! Edwin follows through with the right slap and completes a full 360 degree spin, garnering a big hoot and holler from the fans as he quickly stops and backhands Sacred across the left cheek with his left hand! Sacred stands, stumbling like some dazed foe out of Mortal Kombat, and as Edwin yells “FINISH HIM” in his finest basso profundo, the Mac Daddy surges forward with a tremendous double-palm shotei and absolutely levels Sacred! “Two palm shotei from MacPhisto, and what a move to finish off the Cocktail O’ Shame! Sacred’s been blown back into the corner again!” Indeed, Sacred finds himself nested against the turnbuckle, but not for long! Edwin quickly moves in and, facing Sacred, climbs to the second rope and latches on to him with a front facelock! The Midnight Carnival’s finest showman kicks off the ropes and leaps outwards, twisting and turning as he topples Sacred with a tremendous tornado DDT! As skull meets mat, Edwin goes for a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THRE—“and Sacred gets his shoulder up at the last minute, damn it all!” says Curry. “This plucky duck from Adelaide might not be as evil as he claims to be, but for all his music-stealing and bowl-smashing, he’s a resistant guy! Edwin might have the speed and size advantage here tonight, but he’s merely the Easter Bunny to Sacred’s strong and virile Passover Hippo when it comes to fortitude!” Curry realizes that he just used the phrase “Passover Hippo” and thus quickly returns to the match at hand before anyone calls him on it. “Uh, yeah! Man, that was a close won! Woo, pinfalls, yeah.” Edwin has the slight upper hand now after flooring Sacred with the DDT, and the crowd is clapping and cheering, anxious to see what the Mac Daddy has next on his agenda. He pulls up the dizzied Sacred with one hand and gestures with the other, pointing to Sacred’s head, then to his own knee, and cocking his head, as if to say “Hey, is that all right?” The crowd responds with resounding cheer, and just like that Edwin goes for another blow on Sacred’s already scrambled brain! He takes Sacred into a headlock and dashes forward two steps before leaping into the air, going for the Midnight Special, but Sacred comes to his senses and shoves Edwin away as he twists and moves to sit out! Edwin falls away and lands in a sitting position, but quickly bounces back up and charges Sacred, who meets him with a lock-up as the two men fight to the center of the ring! “A fine escape from the Midnight Special, much as it hurts me to say it,” says Curry, “as Sacred protects his already predisposed-to-lunacy head from another sharp blow.” As Sacred and Edwin lock up, the Australian starts to take the advantage, his superior upper-body strength allowing him to force Edwin down slightly. The Mac Daddy’s height proves too much, however—with the extra 5 inches of leverage, Edwin starts to power back and overtake Sacred, starting to push him down to the mat. Edwin goes for a side headlock and tries to drop for a takedown, but again Sacred pushes him away. Starting to get mildly fed up now, Edwin barrels towards Sacred in a charge, but the smaller man leapfrogs Edwin and the Mac Daddy charges past. Edwin turns and bounces off the ropes and charges Sacred again, but now Sacred’s on the attack! He comes blazing towards Edwin with a flying forearm, but the alert Edwin plants his feet and quickly skids to a stop! Sacred barrels ahead with forearm, but Edwin’s ready to receive him…with a back-shattering spinebuster! The ring shakes as Edwin drills Sacred down hard!

“Cheater! Cheater! He cheated!” whines NTD.

“How? He hit a spinebuster! That’s not cheating!”

“Yeah, but Sacred wasn’t ready! I call for a do-over!”

Unfortunately for Sacred, this isn’t elementary school kickball, and Edwin isn’t chief of the do-over police. He peels Sacred up off the mat and wrenches him upward at the waist, briefly elevating him before dropping to his knees and pasting Sacred down with a snap powerbomb right into a pin! “Edwin completes the Love Rollercoaster,” professes Curry, “and he’s got Sacred’s shoulders held down!” Sacred kicks with all his might, but Edwin’s leverage comes through again as the referee drops to count!

ONE!

TWO!

TH—and Sacred breaks free with a last desperate kick! Edwin snaps his fingers with resigned disappointment, but wastes little time in pulling the fazed Sacred back to his feet. “Edwin has Sacred on the run now after the momentum shifter of the Love Rollercoaster, but can he take advantage?” wonders Curry. Edwin goes for the advantage all right—he lines up back to back with the dizzy Sacred and hooks his arms, prepping for the Encore Cross! Sacred realizes his predicament just as Edwin starts to vault forward and shifts all his weight to the balls of his feet, stalling the maneuver and pulling himself back down. Now it’s Sacred’s turn to vault forward, and do that he does, shocking Edwin as he lifts him off his feet and floats him over back to back! The evil grin on Sacred’s face illuminates the SWFTron and for a second it looks like he’s about to pull off an Encore Cross of his own, but it seems as if the spike backslide isn’t in Sacred’s repertoire: instead, he gently rolls forward and floats Edwin down into a backslide pin! “Reversal out of the Encore Cross into a pinning combo—here’s the ref!”

ONE!

TWO!-Edwin bursts out a bit shaken, but safe. “See that, Curry?” rails NTD. “Sacred’s a technical mastermind. He can reverse lots of stuff. If you take the words ‘technical’ and ‘reverse’, you can make the word ‘evil’!”

“You can also make the word ‘chinseat,’ but you don’t see me rushing to sit on his face, do you?” responds Curry. NTD is silent, and goes back to playing with anagrams as the ICTV battle rages on. Sacred pulls Edwin up and whips him across the ring, and as Edwin bounces back, the challenger to his throne leaps and launches out a kick! “Sacred with the Harlem Sidekick, despite not being from anywhere near Harlem!” cries Curry, and Edwin ducks under the kick and skids to a stop. Before Sacred can turn, Edwin spins shoots out his left leg. He catches Sacred with a spinning back kick to the side, plants the impact foot, then spins back and goes low with the right foot, driving his heel into the back of Sacred’s right knee and knocking it out from under him. Edwin backs off a couple feet as Sacred falls to one knee, then leaps into the air and shoots both his feet out with a pump-shot standing dropkick that catches Sacred square in the back! The Aussie goes prone, and Edwin rolls to his feet and dives straight for Sacred’s right leg, bridging back and wrenching it in an half-crab submission hold!

“I can’t believe it!” screams NTD as the crowd roars and rises from their seats. “That’s the Solution 9, Sacred’s submission! Edwin’s a thief!”

“Edwin used that same maneuver to make Fallout tap out on Smarkdown, and now he’s got it locked in on Sacred’s just impacted right knee! The champ’ll retain if Sacred gives up!” Curry analyzes the situation as the ref slides to the mat and asks Sacred if he wants to submit, but the Sacred One just gnashes his teeth and shouts “No! I’m evil! Evil never gives in!” Shrugging his shoulders, the ref keeps inquiring as Sacred grits his teeth, channeling his high fortitude into resisting the pain as well as he can. Edwin pumps back on the leg once more, then notices Sacred reaching for the ropes. Edwin rises for a moment, maintaining the hold and moving to drag Sacred towards the center of the ring, but at that very moment Sacred shoots up his free left leg right into Edwin’s groin! The crowd boos and Edwin releases the submission and stumbles away, clutching himself in pain! “Blatant low blow from Sacred, but the ref missed it because he was, of all things, seeing if Sacred wanted to give up! Blasted irony!” Sacred scrambles back to his feet, favoring his right leg heavily, but seeing Edwin stumbling, immediately surges forward leaps, sending his whole body into Edwin with a ferocious tackle!

“Kamikazeeeeeeeeeee, part twoooooooooooo!” chuckles NTD, delighted. Sacred’s impact floors Edwin immediately, and just as quickly Sacred rolls off and flips Edwin over onto his stomach. The fans shout and holler as Sacred grabs Edwin’s right leg and pulls up and back, elevating himself high and locking in the true Solution 9, much to Edwin’s disdain! “Revenge is a dish best served with a side order of evil!” says NTD as Sacred bridges back, raising Edwin’s leg high and nearly pulling his waist off the ground with the elevation.

“And now Edwin’s got to be regretting his earlier actions—he put Sacred’s leg in a world of hurt, and now Sacred, a man more proficient in the hold, has Edwin right where he wants him!” The crowd is on its feet, chanting Edwin’s name again, trying to get him back in the game as Sacred tears away at his knee. The self-professed master of evil walks forward, Edwin in tow, easily keeping him locked in as he drags him to the center of the ring. Edwin scrapes his painted fingernails on the mat but can’t stay put—Sacred barely breaks a sweat dragging him out to the center of the ring. Edwin frantically kicks with his left leg, but Sacred just wrenches back harder on the right! The ferocity in Sacred’s eyes is off the charts, and he pulls so hard that the only part of Edwin left on the mat is from his waist up! “Sacred is tearing Edwin apart like a shark in a day care center, and there’s not much Edwin can do about it!” To successfully elevate Edwin so high, Sacred has to spread his legs apart fairly wide to keep his balance, but Edwin still can’t crawl out of the hold. With one last desperate flail, Edwin sends his left foot skidding along the mat in a sweep, and out of sheer luck manages to catch Sacred’s right foot and knock it out from under him! Sacred topples over and Edwin rolls right, trying to pin Sacred underneath him! He gets the shoulder down for an instant, but Sacred springs back up to his feet and maintains Solution 9, but only for one more second as this time Edwin sweeps and rolls left! Sacred topples over and now Edwin breaks free, but only for a moment as Sacred quickly uses the leg under Edwin to trip him up. The Mac Daddy breaks his fall with the ropes, and Sacred climbs up and shoulder blocks him right in the small of the back, then pulls him off the ropes and starts to lay in chops to the chest!

“Sacred’s clearly in control!” cackles NTD.

“And I actually agree with you,” says Curry, resigned. Sacred fires chop after chop, but Edwin comes back with a series of right hands! After the second blow gets through, Sacred starts to retreat, but Edwin presses the attack! He keeps punching away, now driving Sacred back and towards the ramp-side ropes! As Sacred backs all the way into the ropes, Edwin rears back for a mighty shotei and shoots forward…to hit nothing but air! Sacred drops to his knees and slides back out under the bottom rope, bailing out of the ring and staggering away towards the bottom of the ramp. “What a coward!” sneers Curry. “I don’t care how evil he is—he’s going to have to actually fight Edwin if he wants to win!”

Edwin, undeterred, backs off a step, trying to keep weight off his weakened right leg. Striding powerfully with his left, he pulls himself between the middle and top rope and spins towards Sacred with a suicide dive! The crowd roars, but Sacred stifles the roar as he turns extends his arms, catching Edwin in mid-flight! “Sacred aborts the tope suicida—X-Factor across the knee, my god!” Curry follows the action on the monitors and watches as Sacred pulls Edwin out of the catch and sits-out, drilling his face over his left knee with a savage X-Factor.

“Looks like cowardice pays out big, spice drop!” squeals NTD. Curry has no response, but a satisfied Sacred has an eagerness and an idea as he stands up outside the ring. Pulling the dazed Edwin behind him, he drags Edwin a few feet up the grating of the entrance ramp, and then grins to the crowd.

“I…am…EVIL!!!” The profession draws tremendous heat, but that heat only gets hotter as Sacred slaps on a front face lock and suddenly leaps into the air, crashing down with his whole weight over Edwin’s head and drilling him into the steel with the Cruel Fate!

“CRUEL FATE! CRUEL FATE! WOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOO!” bellows NTD. On the SWFTron, we can see that Edwin’s been busted open, as a few trickles of blood roll off of his forehead, courtesy one evil finishing maneuver on the outside! The referee has begun to count the men out, but Sacred’s already on his way back to the ring, with Edwin under his arm. The Mac Daddy swings blind and slow punches that never quite hit their target as Sacred drags him back towards ringside, and the future looks grim! Edwin tries to push Sacred away as they stand next to the ring apron at the count of five, but his movements are too slow and his head too fogged to do much good. With one firm punch to the jaw, Sacred momentarily subdues Edwin. He rolls Edwin inside at the count of seven, then springs himself over the top rope and lands next to Edwin, and with a most evil grin spreading across his face, Sacred hooks the leg.

“This one’s over, folks…bye bye MacPhisto,” mourns Curry.

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREEEEENOOOOOOOOO! Edwin kicks out inches before defeat! “MacPhisto barely escapes! His forehead is dripping blood and his faculties are drained, but Edwin may have delayed his return to the ring just long enough to survive the Cruel Fate onto the steel ramp!” In a rage of delirium and astonishment, Sacred wrenches Edwin up off the mat and starts to lay into him with very angry punches! Sacred drops a DDT, pulls Edwin up…then hits another one, and pulls him up again! “Two DDTs in a row, and Sacred’s still wailing on him! He wants that title, or the music, or whatever…I can’t even keep track any more!” Sacred’s punches start driving Edwin back towards the rampside rope, and as they approach, Sacred goes for one big haymaker…and bloodied Edwin ducks it and drops his shoulder under Sacred’s waist, lifting him just enough to drop him and stungun him over the top rope! The crowd explodes, and as Sacred bounces off the ropes, Edwin staggers behind him, snaking his arms into a full nelson and launching backwards…with a huge dragon suplex! “MacPhisto pulls the Dragon Suplex out of nowhere! Can he get the cover in time? This is getting intense, NTD!”

“I know! Hold me!”

“No!”

“Well, it was worth a shot…”

Edwin crawls towards Sacred’s limp form on the mat, and Sacred rolls his head around, trying to get his senses back. The Mac Daddy moves for a lateral press, and Sacred decks him in the jaw, sending the dazed warrior back again. “Both men are slowed down severely at this point, and it’s anyone’s ball game!” cries Curry. Determined to finish this the right way, a dizzy Edwin fights through punches and pulls Sacred up by the shoulder, the hair, and with a sharp elbow to the face, spins him around. The crowd roars as the two battered fighters now stand back to back, and Edwin hooks Sacred’s arms and vaults forward! “ENCORE CROSS!” cries Curry, as does half the crowd, but as Edwin brings Sacred over, he falters, unable to get him all the way over! Sacred hovers there, floating on Edwin’s back as Edwin winces, grits his teeth, and dribbles blood…and finally, after a substantial delay, Edwin manages to fall forward and crush Sacred’s head into the mat, barely holding on for the bridge! The crowd explodes at Edwin’s show of strength, and they count along with the pinfall as the referee drops to the mat!

“What a match, folks,” says Curry, wiping his brow, “but at the end of the day, MacPhisto retains!”

“OOOOOOOONE!

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOHHHHHH!”

“SACRED KICKS OUT! I can’t believe it! Sacred kicks out!” Curry’s despondent!

“Woo! Evil will always triumph, because good is DUMB!”

“How long has it been since someone kicked out of the Encore Cross? I know Edwin’s weak, but my god! What’s it going to take to keep Sacred down?” Edwin is just as dumbfounded, and he sits there on the mat, dazed as Sacred struggles back to his feet. Shaking his rapidly and snapping out of his trance, Edwin pushes himself back to his feet, weakly, and meets Sacred by the right arm, pulling him up for a lock-up…but Sacred goes low and scoops out Edwin’s right leg!!! Edwin collapses to the mat on his back, and Sacred grabs his right leg and starts to turn him over! “Solution 9 again! Sacred’s got Edwin in Solution 9—no, Edwin’s not turning over!” The Mac Daddy has his arms spread wide and is trying to grasp at the fabric of the mat with his fingers, trying anything to keep himself down and safe as the exhausted Sacred tries to turn him over. With his free leg, Edwin shoots a boot into Sacred’s left shin, but barely stumbles him. Sacred almost has Edwin over, but Edwin launches another left foot, this time into the right shin, and, hitting Sacred’s weak point, he takes him down and skitters out of the hold! “This is off the charts, folks—I don’t think there’s a person sitting down here in the Bradley Center!” Sacred charges towards Edwin with what juice he has left, but Edwin hooks his arm and drags him to the side, reversing his momentum and launching him towards the nearest turnbuckle with a whip. Slowly but surely, Sacred stumbles into the corner, and with the last of his agility, Edwin dashes to the corner and lands a rising knee lift to Sacred’s gut! The challenger to Edwin’s belt slumps against the turnbuckle, and Edwin, shaking his head with disbelief, grabs him by the waist and lifts Sacred up to sit on the top pad, his feet dangling down onto the second rope. Edwin climbs up to the second rope and tries to get a grip on Sacred’s waist.

“Edwin’s going for something off the top to finish Sacred, and it might be the only thing that can keep him down at this point! He’s kicked out of a Dragon suplex and the Encore Cross, and is still on the attack!” Curry is amazed as Sacred throws another punch into Edwin’s jaw, nearly knocking him bat to the mat, but Edwin locks his hand around the top rope! He regains his balance, retakes Sacred’s waist, and spins him around so he’s facing the outside of the ring. Edwin slaps on a rear waistlock, and the crowd goes wild as MacPhisto sets up a German superplex! “This is it, folks! Finally, Sacred’s done for!”

Edwin lifts Sacred up, roaring with all his pent-up aggression…

…and Sacred shoots his feet out and hooks them over the top rope, stopping the assault! Edwin gets hung up and starts to lose his balance, Sacred being the only thing holding him up, and slowly Sacred spins and transfers his hands onto Edwin’s right arm, gradually pulling him up to the top rope as he turns to face him. The flashbulbs are erupting and fans all across the arena are reloading their cameras as Sacred finally gets Edwin up to the top, facing him…and drills him with a knee to the gut, doubling him over! Sacred steps to the side a little to make room for Edwin, balancing precariously on the top rope as he takes MacPhisto into a front face lock!

“Where’s your golden boy now, Curry? Huh? Oh, that’s right—on the top rope, with my evil boy Sacred, about to eat a Super Cruel Fate! Muahahahahaha!”

“Sacred’s out of the predicament, and he’s going to hit Edwin with another Cruel Fate! I can’t watch…” Curry buries his faces in his hands…

…and Edwin drives an open palm into Sacred’s right knee! The knee drops out and Sacred almost loses his balance on the top rope, his shin landed across it and sending the whole ring rope structure bouncing! “Desperation shotei to Sacred’s knee stops the Cruel Fate!” shouts Curry, looking through a space between his fingers. The crowd is absolutely electric, and the “MAC-PHIST-OOOOO” chant is at full blast as Edwin starts to stand to his full height, carefully balancing on the top turnbuckle and pulling Sacred close with him. He tries to turn around with Sacred, but nearly loses his balance doing so. Facing out to the ring, Edwin cocks his head, snaps an elbow into Sacred’s face, and suddenly pulls him into a front face lock!

“They’re gonna fall! Edwin’s gonna die! Please!” begs NTD!

“Edwin can’t stay up there much longer!”

Sacred tries to kick off the ropes to escape, but Edwin pulls him closer and grabs him by the waist of his pants! The crowd howls with amazement as Edwin starts to lift Sacred up into a vertical suplex! “Superplex! Can it finish Sacred off?” wonders Curry. “It’s got to!”

“Sacred’s not gonna go down to just a superplex!” argues NTD! But NTD speaks too soon—as Edwin faces the outside of the ring, holding a shaking Sacred high in the hair, he leaps VERTICALLY and backward, pushing off with his right foot and spiraling back towards the center of the ring, executing a complete 180 as he falls…

…and falls…

…and brings Sacred down and out of the vertical suplex, neck-first…

…into an AMAZING top-rope falcon arrow! Sacred’s neck crunches into the ring as the two hit hard, and Edwin bounces away, taking a significant amount of damage himself!

“AIR MACPHISTO! AIR MACPHISTO! EDWIN HITS A SPINNING AIR MACPHISTO ON SACRED! CAN HE MAKE THE COVER?” cries Curry.

“No, he can’t! He can’t!”

“He can! He can!”

Edwin crawls towards the still Sacred, crawls towards him…and drapes an arm across his chest! The ref hits the mat!

OOOOOOOOOOOONE!

“MAC!”

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

“PHIST!”

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“AND HE DOES IT! EDWIN MACPHISTO RETAINS!” shouts Curry, roaring over the ear-shattering crowd! The bell rings, and Funyon climbs into the ring while the referee takes Edwin’s title belt from the timekeeper!

“Your winner, and STILL SWF Intercontinental-Television Champion, Edwin MacPhistOOOOO!” “Battleflag” kicks up as the referee pulls Edwin up off his feet and raises his hand, handing the title belt over as the thousands of fans chant his name!

“Sacred put up an amazing fight and survived an Encore Cross clean in the center of the ring,” recaps Curry, “but in the end, Edwin’s innovative falcon arrow off the top rope put him away. Good triumphs over evil, at least for now!”

“But not for much longer!” snaps NTD. “Because up next, the HVille Thugg is going up against Xstasy and Mark Stevens, and he’s going to, uh, straight-wreck their shit, yo!”

“You’re not black!” retorts Curry.

“Neither are Sacred and Jay Dawg!”

“And look where that got Sacred!” NTD looks to the ring, shrugs, and sighs. “Bombtrack” overtakes “Battleflag” as Edwin staggers out of the ring, coat over one shoulder, title belt over the other, and a wide grin across his face. He’s held onto his belt…but this isn’t over yet. “Edwin beats Sacred in all-out war,” continues Curry, breathless, “for now at least, but what’s coming up next will make even this match look like kindergarten roughhousing! Four months of mayhem and destruction come to a head as HVT, Xstasy, and Mark Stevens meet with the SWF World Heavyweight Title and Thugg’s contract on the line!”

April 1, 2002

(Curry) - Here we are ladies and gentlemen! After an action packed night, we’ve reached the moment of truth for three men! It’s time for our main event…The Hville Thugg defending his SWF Title against the upstart Xstasy and the locker room leader, Grand Slam Mark Stevens. The long, storied history between Xstasy and Hville Thugg has lead to one of the most heated rivalries in the history of this business, but you also have Mark Stevens…a two-time world champion, and a leader in this fed for as long as I can remember. NTD, what do you make of this historic main event?

The fans directly behind the announce table, where our camera focuses its attention, jump up and down excitedly while Curry and NTD analyze tonight’s main event.

(NTD) - Well my spicy partner, I’m almost afraid to see what’s gonna happen when these three men step into the ring in just a few moments. The different styles of these superstars should definitely lead to an entertaining match, but with Xstasy’s drive for revenge, Stevens’s desire for vindication, and Thugg’s rage…this could turn into a blood bath before we know it.

(Curry) - You’re certainly right there NTD. Referee Matt Kivell is definitely gonna have his hands full with these three tonight. Much of the attention has been on the violent and personal rivalry between Xstasy and Thugg, but Mark Stevens has also made his presence felt, making sure that neither man will be able to overlook the Heavy Hitter.

(NTD) - Steven’s altercations with Thugg in the last couple weeks have definitely left a imprint in the minds of the fans, and most certainly in the mind of the Angry Black Man, Thugg. We all know he’s gonna come out here looking to finish off Xstasy once and for all, but in the back of his mind, he’ll definitely be thinking about Mark Stevens, a man looking for vindication for losing his title to Thugg earlier in the month.

(Curry) - Stevens definitely made sure of that, picking up a win over the champ on Smarkdown on Monday, but will Thugg be able to focus on Stevens with his most hated enemy, and the always volatile Xstasy standing just a few feet away?

(NTD) - I don’t know Curry, but what I do know is that if he doesn’t, Stevens could walk out of here as a three-time World Heavyweight Champion. The odds are really stacked against Thugg in this match, but we’ve seen him overcome these kinds of odds before…so I’m gonna have to say that Thugg’s gonna pull this one out…but not without a fight from both Stevens and Xstasy.

(Curry) - Interesting prediction NTD, and we’ll find out shortly if you’re right. But before we get to that, let’s take a look at how all this came to pass…

The SmarkTron kicks up, along with the televisions at home, both bringing images of the montage of the most hostile feud in SWF history.

(Funyon) - The winners…and NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…THE HVILLE THUGG…XSTASY…DAAAAA POOOUUUUUUUNNNNDDDDDD!!!!

Footage from Xstasy and Thugg winning the tag team titles is shown, the two friends embracing as the fans boo them to oblivion. The smiles on their faces show the strength of their bond. Soft, friendly music plays in the background as the footage switches quickly between images of Thugg and Xstasy chillin’ in the locker room to them performing as a tag team.

(Curry) - Da Pound are just a bunch of bullies who do whatever they want. They are sick, vile individuals!!

Footage of Da Pound standing strong in the center of the ring…Perfect Bo, Xstasy, and the Hville Thugg…is shown, again, with the fans booing.

(HVT) - Come on playa…you know we dogs fo life. You always gonna be my nigga.

A black and white picture of Thugg and Xstasy in basketball jerseys reading “Raiders” is shown, with the towering Thugg’s arm around Xstasy, both men grinning from ear to ear. The soft music changes to something a bit more tragic as the images of the saddest day in the lives of Xstasy and Thugg is shown.

(Reporter) - Ladies and gentlemen, a tragic motorcycle accident has left one man in critical condition. Phoenix Nightengale, known to the world as the charismatic superstar of the SWF, Xstasy, was riding his motorcycle late at night when he struck another vehicle. Details are still very sketchy, and we’ll be sure to update you as this story develops.

Images of sirens, a mangled motorcycle, and a saddened reporter are shown, and then the footage switches to The Hville Thugg, looking grief-stricken as he hears the news on his cell phone. He hangs the phone up, looks directly into the camera, and then produces his trademark sadistic smile.

(HVT) - If you even think about telling him, I’ll kill you! You got that?!? You’re dead!!

Footage of HVT yelling at Casey Morgan, one time valet of X, is shown as the footage alludes to what we already know. The footage cuts to an image of Xstasy talking on his cell phone following his Clusterfuck match. Upon finishing his conversation, Xstasy throws the cell phone across the room and storms away. Another cut gives way to the closing moments of HVT vs. Suicide King, where Xstasy cost the Hville Thugg his world title, causing the music to escalate to something a bit harder. A few images of the war of words between the two for the ensuing month are shown before the music returns to the eerie, tragic music.

Stubby stands on the stage while Thugg waits in the ring for his Last Man Standing match with the Perfect Drug, a replay of a revelation from 2 weeks ago.

(Stubby) - Xstasy spent the better part of 6 months getting back on his feet and preparing himself to get back into the ring. You all {points to the crowd} wanted him to come back, and it was you who brought him back…………………As many of you may remember, the police investigation of the incident turned up no foul play, and I was inclined to believe that…..UNTIL TONIGHT……………………… Tonight, I stand on this stage, not only as the commissioner of the SWF, but also as a human being who has felt some pain, especially recently. BUT…what I found out tonight was so despicable…so vile…so…so…………SO CHICKEN SHIT…that I had no choice but to take action……………………………Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I found out that Xstasy’s accident was not the clean cut accident that it appeared to be………………………………And the man responsible for the incident was………THE HVILLE THUGG!!!!”

The color images change to black and white with that shocking announcement, showing Thugg’s shocked face as his dark secret is revealed to the world.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG!”

(Curry) - … The Perfect Drug!! XSATSY!!!!

The explosion of cheers from the crowd drowns out the chorus to NIN’s “The Perfect Drug” as a waterfall of golden sparks comes down onto the top of the ramp. A BLINDING white light shoots from the entryway and the silhouette of The Perfect Drug, Xstasy, is projected through the sparks and out to the adoring fans. Suddenly, the Perfect Drug explodes through the sparks, nearly knocking Stubby down, and sprints down to the ring!

HVT turns around, right into a shot to the head from the US title! BAMMM!!!!

Fast paced images of the brutal LMS match are shown, but they slow when it reaches the portion where Da Pound has Xstasy beat down.

(HVT) - Yeah… that’s right… that accident… I did that sh*t!!!

(Curry) - NOOOO!!!

(NTD) - … w… w… what…

(Curry) - … a confession… he just… no, this can’t be happening…

(HVT) - That’s right cuz… and if I had to do it all over again… I would still do that ish… only difference is I would make sure your ass DIDN’T come back!

(Curry) - … how… why is this happening… how can a man have so much hatred…

(NTD) - I can’t watch this anymore, Curry… this is just too much…

(Curry) - … ladies and gentlemen… I don’t know what to say… I just… all of the recovery… Xstasy having to live without years and years of memories… having so much trouble getting back on his feet… its all due to this man… Damien… the H-Ville Thugg… I just… I can’t understand it…

(NTD) - … X was right all along. He knew it! This man was supposed to be his best friend… I don’t see any redemption… nothing can change what Thugg is… a sick man, a very sick individual…

(HVT) - And I hope you remember this at the Pay Per View! When you tryin’ to take this title, cuz! I hope you remember that I already took care of you once, and I’mma do it again! Once and for all… I’mma WRECK… YO…

CRACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

INSTANTLY the crowd ROARS, as “Born Bad” begins playing, and the two time former SWF champion steps out onto the entry stage!!

(Curry) - Wait… it’s… GRAND SLAM!!! MARK STEVENS is coming to Xstasy’s aid!!!

The images of the locker room faces clearing the ring are shown, and then “Bombtrack” by Rage Against The Machine, the PPV’s theme, kicks up, taking the montage into its violent portion.

Xstasy drives HVT through a brick wall in a bulldozer!

HVT throws Xstasy through a car window!

Mark Stevens helps Xstasy to his feet!

Mark Stevens hits Thugg with the Walk Off onto a steel chair!

Thugg hits the Untamed on Mark Stevens!

Xstasy hits Xception on Thugg!

Thugg and X rumble backstage!

Thugg and Mark Stevens stare down backstage!

Stevens hits a Walk Off on Thugg!

Xstasy hits Xstatic on Thugg!

A boom in the music gives way to the montage displaying these words, “Storm, March 23”. The footage begins with Stubby standing on the stage and an enraged HVT standing in the ring, both men with microphones in their hands.

(Stubby) - You…You sick fuck! Who the fuck do you think you are?!? I’ve been watching in the back and even I can’t believe what you’re out here saying! What you did to Xstasy is by far the most vile thing I’ve heard since I’ve been in this business, and you stand out here with no remorse…with no apologies? What the fuck is wrong with you?!?

(Stubby) - I’ve got news for you Thugg! I’m sick and tired of your shit! I’m not going to let you do this to anyone else! NO ONE! That’s it…IT’S OVER!

(Curry) - What’s Stubby talking about?? What does he mean, it’s over?

(Stubby) - IT’S OVER THUGG! Cause next Sunday, you’ll be putting your title on the line against Xstasy and Grand Slam Mark Stevens! Your precious world title will be on the line against two of the best the SWF has to offer! And, as of right this second…your title won’t be the only thing you’ll be fighting for! At the PPV…NEXT SUNDAY…you will also be fighting for……YOUR SWF CONTRACT!!!

(NTD) - WHAT?!?

Curry> OH MY GOD!! STUBBY HAS JUST PUT THE HVILLE THUGG’S SWF CONTRACT UP FOR GRABS IN THE MAIN EVENT NEXT SUNDAY!!

(Stubby) - That’s right! Next Sunday, you will fight…not only for your world title, but also your right to continue wrestling for this company! If you lose Thugg…YOU’RE GONE! FINISHED!

The footage fades to a black screen, which then is replaced by the following:

Grand Slam Mark Stevens

(Voice Over) - One man…fighting for pride, honor, and a belt that was stolen from him!

Xstasy

(Voice Over) - Another man…fighting for vengeance on a life that was brutally take from him!

The Hville Thugg

(Voice Over) - And a third…fighting for his career!

BOOM!

A final image of the three men, HVT, Stevens, and X, staring at each other is shown, ending the montage segment.

We return to a dark arena, the fans on their feet in anticipation, and then…

CRACK!!!

…the crowd explodes!

The opening bass of “Born Bad” by Gone Jackals hits the speakers as the fans scream at the top of their collective lungs. The SmarkTron exhibits several high spots in the career of Mark Stevens, intertwined with the words “Grand Slam”, “The Heavy Hitter”, and “Midnight Carnival”. The various multicolored lights flash in time with the rhythmic bass of the song until the first guitar riff when the arena is flooded with bright white light!! Red and white pyro explodes at the top of the entrance ramp. The smoke clears, revealing Grand Slam Mark Stevens standing under the SmarkTron, causing the fans to explode to levels never thought possible.

(Funyon) - Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, from Lincoln, Nebraska…weighing in at 287 pounds……GRAND SLAM MAAAAAAAARRRRKKK STTTEEEEEEEEEVVVEEEEEEENNNNSSSSSSSS!!!

The words keep the crowd frenzied as Stevens breaks into a sprint, running down to the ring and slapping a few hands along the way. Stevens steps over the top rope into the ring, where the fans see his Milwaukee Brewers baseball cap and NEW jersey!

(Curry) - Here he is! The Heavy Hitter himself…Grand Slam Mark Stevens!! What a career this man has had…2 time world champion…ICTV champion…and a leader in the locker room…a hall of famer for sure!

Stevens climbs to the second turnbuckle, causing the fans in the nearest section to leap up, hoping to catch Stevens’s paraphernalia as he launches his baseball cap into the crowd. Stevens then takes off his Milwaukee Brewers jersey and tosses that into the crowd as well, directly into the direction of a fan holding a sign saying, “Opening Day: Mark Stevens hits a Grand Slam”!

(Curry) - And just listen to his sold out crowd…they love the Heavy Hitter in Wisconsin!! And I bet those two fans feel like the luckiest people on earth.

(NTD) - Too bad their team’s got no shot against the Houston Astros on Tuesday.

The camera pans the crowd closest to the ring to find Richie Sexson, Jeffery Hammonds, and Chad Fox sitting amongst the SWF faithful.

(NTD) - Hey…there’s some of the Brewers right there!

(Curry) - I wonder if they heard you.

“… and I want you…”

(Curry) - Oh, here we go!!!

…the arena lights fade to dark…

“… and I want you…”

… white light flashes from the entryway…

“…and I want you…”

… the light flashes faster now, and brighter…

“… and I WANT YOU!!!”

(NTD) - Hold your ears!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG!”

The people have already been cheering to the utmost, but once the chorus of NIN’s “The Perfect Drug” hits, they EXPLODE! A waterfall of golden sparks comes down onto the top of the ramp as a BLINDING white light shoots from the entryway and the silhouette of The Perfect Drug, Xstasy, is projected through the sparks and out to the adoring fans. He swaggers through the sparks, and down the ramp while the SmarkTron shows his sickest bumps, and he winks at the ladies to either side.

(Funyon) - And his opponent, from the nation’s capitol…weighing in at 211 pounds…THE PERFECT DRUG……XXXXXXXXXXSSSSSSSSTASYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

He leaps over the ropes, and goes to the turnbuckle, crossing his arms in the sign of the X, then goes to the opposite side and does the same. The ladies scream and the thousands upon thousands flash photographs as X hops down from the turnbuckle and takes a look at the Heavy Hitter, both men looking respectful yet knowing that business is at hand.

(Curry) - I know that these two have a lot of respect for one another, but in moments they are gonna be fighting for the richest prize in the game. And then, all bets are off!

(NTD) - I don’t know Curry. It might behoove them to work together and get rid of Thugg first.

(Curry) - You may be right about that…but we’ll have to see what strategy they came up with, if any.

The arena darkens, and instantly the boos begin…the fans not even waiting to be sure it’s him. A sadistic laugh bellows through the arena followed by an electric guitar playing.

"They don't know"

"Who we be”

"They don't know"

"Who we be"

The boos nearly drown out the music, but it can’t drown out…

“What they don’t know is…”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

…the explosion that sends fire to the roof of the Bradley Center as a wall of fire illuminates the stage! Moments later the Hville Thugg steps to the forefront of the flames, his head down and his fists clenched at his sides.

(Curry) - And there he is!! The most hated man in the federation, and maybe even the world! The most despicable, vile, sadistic human being to every set foot in this federation!

(Funyon) - And their opponent…also from the nation’s capitol…weighing in at 450 pounds. He is the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THE HVVVIIIIIIIILLLEEEE THHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

His name brings yet more heat from the crowd as he whips his head up and stares down at the two men in the ring. HVT begins his slow descent down to the ring, his title on his left shoulder and his fiery eyes fixed on the ring.

(Curry) - After all he’s done, I don’t know how he can even sleep at night!

(NTD) - That’s the point Curry, he just doesn’t care.

HVT approaches the ring, and when he gets there, he grabs the top rope and pulls himself up to the apron. Thugg places one foot over the rope, attempting to get into the ring, but that’s as far as he gets. Xstasy and Stevens sprint across the ring and deliver forearms to Thugg’s head that send him back to the outside and sends the fans into an uproar.

(Curry) - Here we go! Not wasting any time! The anger and rage of Stevens and Xstasy becoming too much to bear, as they both knock Thugg back to the outside.

HVT lands back first onto the thin mats around the ring, but quickly begins to get back up. However, he doesn’t get far because Xstasy grabs the rope, vaults himself over, lands feet first on the apron, and then jumps off and delivers a jumping sidekick to Thugg’s head!

(Curry) - Xstasy with that kick off the apron, and the champ’s down again.

(NTD) - I guess their plan WAS to work together to take out Thugg, huh?

(Curry) - It seems so, and they’re well on their way…striking early and often here to start.

Stevens slides out of the ring as Xstasy quickly jumps to his feet, unscathed by the fall from the apron. HVT, however, takes a bit more time to get to his feet, and when he does, he is met by a hard right hand from Stevens.

(Curry) - Hard right by Stevens!

The blow turns HVT around to face Xstasy, who quickly delivers a punch of his own to Thugg’s head.

(Curry) - Shot by Xstasy!

HVT turns around and stumbles into a right hand from Grand Slam that…

(Curry) - Another by Grand Slam!

…staggers the champ into another right hand from Xstasy.

(Curry) - And yet another from the Perfect Drug!

(NTD) - They’re treating the champ like a pinball out there!

Stevens gives Thugg another shot, turning him to face Xstasy, who throws up an “X” symbol to get a huge pop from the crowd, and then drives his left foot into Thugg’s chin with a Standing Sidekick.

(Curry) - And down goes Thugg again…that hard kick to the chin from Xstasy sends the champ down.

(NTD) - It seems like Thugg has finally made some enemies that he just can’t handle. I’ve never seen the Hville Thugg get manhandled like this.

(Curry) - Well, the match hasn’t officially started yet, but for all intents and purposes, Thugg’s getting his ass kicked!

Both Stevens and Xstasy grab Thugg by his neatly braided cornrows and lift the big man to his feet. They push him over to the apron, delivering forearms to the side of the head to keep him at bay, and then roll him into the ring. Both man perform their patented in-ring maneuver to reenter the ring, bringing some slight cheers from the crowd, and Matt Kivell finally calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

(Curry) - And we’re official now…this world heavyweight title match is on, and the champ’s in trouble already.

Thugg starts to slowly rise as Xstasy and Stevens approach. They grab HVT, push him against the far ropes, and, together, they whip the big man to the near ropes. HVT contorts the ropes as he rebounds, and runs into a double clothesline from X and Stevens!

(Curry) - Xstasy and Stevens working like a well-oiled machine here…almost like a tag team.

(NTD) - How long do you think they can keep this up though Curry? I mean, with what’s at stake in this match, how long can they trust each other?

(Curry) - I don’t know. We’ll have to just wait and see.

HVT holds the back of his head in pain, but is quickly dragged to his feet by Stevens and Xstasy, who push the champ into the near right corner. Stevens slams a hard elbow to the side of Thugg’s head, followed by a hard slap under Thugg’s chin by Xstasy (Upstart Slap).

(Curry) - Let’s talk about the implications of this match. If Thugg loses this match, his career in the SWF is over!

(NTD) - Yeah, Stubby made that announcement last week, saying that if Thugg loses he’s out. I for one think the punishment fits the crime. The way that Thugg tried to not only end Xstasy’s career, but also his life is just despicable in every way. I’m a huge Thugg cohort, but that was just too much for even me to bear.

Stevens goes in for another elbow, but out of no where, Thugg reaches out and grabs Stevens by the throat with his left hand!

(Curry) - You’re absolutely right about that one NTD. Thugg’s behavior here is nothing short of inhumane, and he should be punished severely for…WAIT A SECOND!!

HVT then thrusts his right hand out to grab Xstasy around the neck as well, both men flailing their arms and grabbing at Thugg’s hands in an attempt to break free.

(Curry) - Back comes Thugg, and he’s got both Xstasy and Stevens! If he hits this, we could see the shortest world title match in history! Is this gonna be it?

HVT walks with both gasping men to the center of the ring, where he prepares to end this match early. The fans give heat as Thugg goes to lift the two men, but he is halted by two boots to the stomach: one from Xstasy and another from Stevens.

(Curry) - No! Stevens and Xstasy with kicks to the midsection to break the hold.

(NTD) - Could you imagine if Thugg had hit that Untamed there?!? It would have surely been over for both Xstasy and Stevens.

The kicks to the stomach double the champ, forcing him to release his hold over the challengers. Xstasy and Stevens quickly grab onto Thugg with front face locks, placing Thugg’s arms over their respective shoulders. With Xstasy on the left, Stevens on the right, and Thugg’s back to the near ropes, the challengers lean back and thrust up, hoping to pull Thugg off his feet. However, not even Stevens’s underrated power is enough to lift the prepared champion off his feet, but Thugg’s power is enough for him to lean back and thrust up, lifting both Xstasy and Stevens up into the air. Thugg stands up and falls backwards, dropping Xstasy and Stevens with a suplex at the same time!!

(Curry) - Oh my god! Did you see that suplex from Thugg?? What a maneuver! What strength and power shown there from the champion, suplexing both men at the same time!

(NTD) - Time and time again, we talk about the strength of the Hville Thugg, but there’s really no true way to describe it until you step into the ring with him. He’s just so strong and has so much power that it’s nearly impossible to beat him with straight on tactics.

Both Xstasy and Stevens hold their backs in pain as HVT gets to his feet and uses this opportunity to rest. HVT stands near the left side ropes, resting, when Mark Stevens gets to his feet. While Xstasy struggles a bit, HVT grabs Stevens by the back of the head, moves towards the far ropes, and launches Stevens over the ropes and down to the ground below.

(Curry) - Thugg tossing Stevens over the top…

As Stevens rolls into the announce table, HVT turns his attention back to the center of the ring where the fans absolutely explode because Xstasy is standing in the center of the ring, staring his rage…his enemy…his fears…his hate directly in the face.

(NTD) - Uh oh Curry!!

(Curry) - Oh, this could be huge!! Thugg and Xstasy…in the ring…one on one…oh, this could explode!!

(NTD) - Just feel the hate in the room. Just feel the tension created by these two men!

(Curry) - They truly hate each other with every breath in their bodies…and it’s about to come to a head right here before our eyes!

HVT stares with fiery eyes at his former best friend while Xstasy stares coldly back. HVT begins to walk slowly to where Xstasy stands in the center of the ring, neither man taking his eyes off the other. The fans are cheering their head off for this volatile situation as Thugg closes in on Xstasy’s position.

(Curry) - This rivalry has so much hate…so much rage! What’s about to happen, now that they are alone…with Stevens out here at our feet…is going to be pure insanity!

(NTD) - I’m getting chills from this…just look at the anger and hate in their eyes. It’s almost too much to bear, really…

HVT reaches the center of the ring, where he and Xstasy stare into each other with so much hate, it permeates space and time. The anxious fans begin to chant “X-STA-SY!” as they begin to circle one another, not saying a word, just staring daggers into one another.

BAM!

(Curry) - Here we go!!

Thugg lands a hard right hand to Xstasy’s head!

BAM!

Xstasy returns with a hard punch of his own!

BAM!

Shot from Thugg!

BAM!

Shot from Xstasy! And the fans are on their feet, screaming, clapping, and cheering as loud as they can.

(Curry) - And the brawl is on!

(NTD) - This favors Thugg heavily. Xstasy can’t match Thugg punch for punch out here.

Thugg lands a hard shot that staggers the smaller Xstasy, and then another that sends him stumbling back, with a final shot leaving Xstasy leaning against the far ropes.

(Curry) - Thugg with the advantage, hammering Xstasy with those hard right hands.

HVT grabs Xstasy and whips the Perfect Drug to the near ropes. HVT moves back to the center of the ring as Xstasy rebounds, but Xstasy ducks under Thugg’s raised boot, and bounces off the far ropes. Xstasy rebounds, and as HVT ducks his head, Xstasy jumps high into the air, and leapfrogs the 7’2” beast. Xstasy bounces off the near ropes, runs back at the stunned Thugg, who is turning to meet Xstasy. When he turns, however, Xstasy is already there, jumping in the air, grabbing a face lock, spinning around Thugg’s back, and slamming Thugg’s head to the mat with a Tornado DDT!!

(Curry) - What agility from the Perfect Drug…leaping over the much taller Thugg and scoring with that Tornado DDT! XSTASY WITH THE COVER!!

ONE!

(Curry) - This could be it right here!

TWO!

(Curry) - New champion…………………NO!!! Thugg kicks out!

Thugg kicks his legs in the air, and when he brings them back down, he thrusts Xstasy off from his lateral press position, forcing the crowd to let out a collective sigh of disappointment.

(Curry) - Close one there, with Xstasy nearly scoring the fall.

(NTD) - Do you realize that we were only one second away from seeing the Hville Thugg fired from the SWF??

(Curry) - I know…I was ready to throw party is recognition of the joyous occasion.

Xstasy rolls to his feet as HVT slowly gets to his, holding his head in pain the entire way up. HVT stumbles into the far left corner, where he leans against the turnbuckle, his head still ringing from the DDT. Xstasy walks over, and quickly backflips with no hands, kicking Thugg twice on his way around.

(Curry) - Xstasy with that acrobatic Whipback kick.

The fans continue to cheer as HVT’s head snaps back, and he falls into a seated position against the turnbuckle. Xstasy takes advantage of the situation by placing his right foot on Thugg’s throat, and then pulls the ropes for leverage. The fans cheer, but referee Matt Kivell isn’t happy, as he demands that Xstasy break the illegal choke.

(Curry) - Xstasy with the choke on Thugg, but he’s gotta be careful here. He doesn’t wanna get disqualified here.

(NTD) - And he’s close to doing so right now.

Once Kivell realize his demands fall on deaf ears, he begins his five-count. 1…2…3…4…5…5…5…BREAK THE HOLD!

(Curry) - Referee Matt Kivell forcing Xstasy to break the hold, but the damage seems to be done.

After taking Kivell to his limit, Xstasy remove his foot from Thugg’s throat and begins pacing the ring. He throws up another “X” symbol, causing the fans to explode once more, before moving back on the attack. Xstasy approaches as Kivell checks on the condition of the champion, and Xstasy shoves Kivell away. However, HVT uses the fact that the referee is stumbling to regain his balance to throw up his right leg, right into Xstasy’s pelvic area.

OHHHHHH!!!!

As Xstasy doubles and begins to hop around, HVT pulls himself up, grabs Xstasy, and throws him into the far left corner. HVT begins to hammer Xstasy with right hands while Stevens seems to have rested back to full strength.

(Curry) - Can you believe Thugg?? Hitting that low blow while the ref’s back was turned?

(NTD) - I know. That one sent shivers down my spine. What’s he trying to…prevent the world from seeing any little Xstasy’s?

(Curry) - I’m sure that would upset you a lot there, huh NTD?

While Curry alludes to questions about NTD’s sexuality, HVT whips Xstasy to the near right corner, where Xstasy crashes back first into the turnbuckle. HVT runs in, looking for the splash, but is met, instead, with a boot to the face, while Stevens slides back into the ring.

(NTD) - Well, actually, it would…hey! Shut up…

(Curry) - Hey! Would ya look at that. Xstasy with the boot to the face, and here comes the Heavy Hitter.

HVT backs up from the shot to the face, but backs right into the grasp of Grand Slam Mark Stevens! Stevens digs deep, reaching down into the depths of his soul, and lifts Thugg off his feet, pulling him over for a huge German Suplex!!

(Curry) - Grand Slam with a German Suplex on the 450-pound Thugg!! What strength by the Heavy Hitter!!

(NTD) - How’d he do that?? Thugg is 450 pounds…how’d he…

(Curry) - Wait…

Despite the difficulty of suplexing the giant, Stevens keeps his hands wrapped around Thugg’s waist as both men get to their feet. Once they are both on their feet, Stevens digs deep again and takes Thugg over with another German Suplex!!

(Curry) - Another German!! Stevens just hit Thugg with a second consecutive German Suplex!! I don’t think anyone’s ever scored more than one suplex on Thugg…ever!

(NTD) - He’s 450 freaking pounds…how in the hell is Stevens doing that?

(Curry) - Contrary to popular belief, Stevens is extremely strong…one of the strongest in the fed. His work ethic in the weight room is unparalleled, but when we talk about strength, the bigger guys like Thugg and the retired Axis usually over shadow him.

The fans are cheering again as Stevens keeps his hands on Thugg’s waist once more. Both men get up, and, again, Stevens pulls Thugg over for a third German Suplex, this time releasing his grasp.

(Curry) - WHOA!! A third German Suplex!! This is unheard of! Mark Stevens isn’t leaving anything in. He’s going to leave everything he has out there in the ring tonight!!

(NTD) - Talk about your adrenalin boost. Stevens with 3 Germans to Thugg…but you know, that’s gotta take something out of Stevens as well. He’s expending a great deal of energy to get Thugg up and over on those suplexes, so I’ll be curious to see what kind of condition this leaves him in.

After the final release, Stevens gets to his knees, looking a bit exhausted from suplexing a 450-pound man. However, his fatigue doesn’t keep from crawling over and making the cover on Thugg.

(Curry) - I’m sure it’s taken…wait! Stevens with the cover!!!

ONE!

(Curry) - We could see a new champ right here…

TWO………

(Curry) - NO!! Xstasy dives in to break up the count!

(NTD) - I warned you about this. Look, Stevens doesn’t look happy at all that Xstasy broke up the count.

Stevens jumps to his feet, after Xstasy jumped on him to stop the count, with a shocked but angry look on his face. He and Xstasy meet eye to eye, and Stevens gives him a little shove on the shoulder. Stevens begins to yell and point while Xstasy yells back and points to his waist.

(NTD) - I knew they couldn’t keep up they’re teamwork…there’s just too much at stake.

As Xstasy and Stevens argue, HVT gets to his feet, with his two opponents standing between him and the far ropes. HVT tries to take advantage of the opportunity, attempting a clothesline, but both men alertly duck, come around behind HVT, and when Thugg turns around, Xstasy and Stevens clothesline Thugg over the top rope!

(NTD) - Or maybe not.

(Curry) - Xstasy and Stevens still working together here, but their alliance was close to being over right there…with Xstasy stopping Stevens from winning the match.

Xstasy slides under the ropes to the outside, and immediately grabs HVT while Stevens exits via the top rope. Xstasy takes Thugg’s head and goes to slam it on the announce table, but Thugg puts his hands on the table to block the shot, and then takes Xstasy’s head and slams it on the table instead. As Xstasy reels, Stevens moves over and drives a forearm into Thugg’s back.

(Curry) - The match spilling to the outside now, with the three competitors fighting right out here in front of our announce table.

HVT stumbles, but Stevens grabs him and pulls him for a whip. HVT, however, reverses the whip…

CLANG!!!

…sending Stevens head first into the steel steps!

(Curry) - OH!! Stevens was just introduced to the steel steps…headfirst!

(NTD) - It’s starting to breakdown now…the match that is.

Steven’s head hitting the steps sends to top portion flying off its hinges, and sends Stevens to the mat with severe head pain. Meanwhile, Xstasy still seems to be reeling, and walks right into Thugg’s grasp, with HVT grabbing Xstasy around his neck with both hands. He quickly lifts Xstasy off his feet, turns, and…

(NTD) - CLEAR OUT!!

…launches Xstasy onto the announce table!!!

(Curry) - WHOA!

Xstasy skids across the table and lands in the pit where NTD and Curry were sitting while the announcers attempt to save what they can. However, it seems that NTD has lost his head set in the chaos.

(Curry) - Xstasy looks in bad shape. Thugg just launched him into our laps with that choke toss, and the champion seems to be in control now. My colleague NTD seems to have lost his headset in the madness, but hopefully it’ll be fixed soon.

HVT walks around the table, causing Curry to jump out of the way again, bends down, and begins to pummel Xstasy with right hands while the fans behind the table strain to be seen on TV. After punching Xstasy several times, Thugg gets up and moves back over to Stevens, who is starting to get to his feet.

(Curry) - Thugg with the mounted punches on Xstasy, who looks to be completely out of this match up at this point.

HVT reaches Stevens, and before Stevens can get himself together, HVT grabs him and whips him headfirst into the ring post! Stevens bounces off and falls down near the apron.

(Curry) - And Thugg is dominating now! Stevens just came face to face with that steel ring post, and Thugg is looking real good right now.

With Stevens down, HVT stomps over to the timekeeper’s table, where his world title belt resides. He snatches the belt from an unhappy attendant, and then moves back over towards a stirring Grand Slam.

(Curry) - Oh no!! Thugg’s got the title belt now, and he’s going after Stevens!!

(NTD) - Whew! Ok, I’m back…what’s going on…oh shit…Thugg has the title belt, and he’s going after Stevens!

(Curry) - I just said that.

(NTD) - I just got my headset back on, cut me some slack man.

HVT waits for Stevens to rise, the title belt cocked. Stevens gets to his feet and Thugg attempts to cream the Heavy Hitter, but is stopped by referee Matt Kivell, who grabs the belt from behind!!

(Curry) - Kivell! Referee Matt Kivell just grabbed the belt from Thugg…he’s not about to have any that tonight!!

(NTD) - But Thugg looks pissed though.

HVT turns begins to get into with the referee, who doesn’t seem to be intimidated by Thugg anymore. HVT screams, but the Kivell simply screams back, which frustrates HVT. HVT turns back around to get Stevens, but is met with a boot to the stomach, doubling the champ. Stevens quickly locks on a front face lock, and then drops HVT with a DDT!!!

(Curry) - Stevens with the DDT!! DDT right here on the floor!! Right out here on this thin padding!!

(NTD) - What a move by Stevens!! Maybe it was desperation, but effective nonetheless!

(Curry) - And a DDT like that can take a lot out of you. That’s cement under there, and if you’ve ever walked out here, you know that the padding is extremely thin. At this juncture of this contest, that could prove to be huge.

Stevens gets back to his feet, and then grabs HVT as well. He rolls a ailing Thugg into the ring, and then follows in behind him. The fans cheer their heads off as Stevens grabs a disoriented Thugg, and places him in a standing head scissors!

(Curry) - Wait a second!

(NTD) - He’s going for the homerun right here!!! If he hits this…

(Curry) - Oh, it’ll surely be over!

As the fans leap to their feet and cheer so loud the arena shakes, Stevens looks out and then twirls his finger in the air. He reaches down, hooks Thugg’s arms, and then drops down to his knees, driving Thugg’s face into the mat with a vicious Pedigree!!

(Curry) - HE HIT IT!! WALK OFF! WALK OFF ON THUGG!!! THIS ONE’S OVER!! IT’S OVER!!

The fans continue to pop as Stevens flips Thugg over, and then hooks the leg!

(Curry) - IT’S OVER…IT’S OVER!!

ONE!!

The fans pop uncontrollably.

(Curry) - GRAND SLAM MARK STEVENS IS 3-TIME WORLD CHAMPION!!!

TWO!!

The fans are ready…

(Curry) - YES!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEE………NOOOOOOO!!!!

(Curry) - NO! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!! XSTASY BREAKS UP THE COUNT!! THE PERFECT DRUG IS BACK IN IT, BUT HE BROKE UP A SURE WIN FOR STEVENS!!!!

Sure enough, Xstasy dives in at the very last second to break up the sure pinfall, enraging Mark Stevens. Stevens rolls off Thugg and holds his head in disbelief while Xstasy, still ailing, rests on the mat. The fans don’t know what to think. Some of them sigh, and others cheer for the Perfect Drug.

(NTD) - Stevens can’t believe it! Stevens can’t believe Xstasy broke up that count. I’m sure they’re little alliance is over now…there’s just too much at stake here.

Xstasy gets to his feet, and Stevens moves in to face him, anger all over his face. After a little arguing, Stevens shoves Xstasy hard, which awakens the Perfect Drug from his beating-induced slumber, and he retaliates by shoving Stevens back. Another shove from Stevens is followed by another from Xstasy.

(Curry) - It’s disintegrating before our very eyes!!! It’s breaking down right before us!!

Stevens lashes out with a punch that staggers the Perfect Drug, but Xstasy returns with a punch of his own that turns the head of the Heavy Hitter. Punch by Stevens…punch by Xstasy…punch by Stevens…punch from Xstasy…

(NTD) - It’s over! They Xstasy/Stevens alliance is over…I told you this match had too much at stake for friendships!

(Curry) - And boy, are they going at it or what?? The world title means so much to both men, and as much as they respect one another, they’re not about to let the other spoil this opportunity for them.

The brawl continues until Stevens takes and advantage, sending Xstasy to the near ropes. Stevens whips Xstasy to the far ropes, but Xstasy ducks a Stevens clothesline and comes up behind the 2-time champion. Stevens turns around to see Xstasy coming in with a punch, but Stevens side steps it and locks Xstasy in a full nelson!

(Curry) - Here it comes!

Stevens lifts Xstasy straight up, and then drops into a seated position, slamming Xstasy with a sit-out atomic drop! Some fans cheer as Stevens maintains the full nelson hold, and lifts Xstasy back to his feet. Stevens quickly lifts Xstasy again, and the slams him face first to the mat with a face first full nelson slam!!

(Curry) - DOUBLE PLAY!! DOUBLE PLAY BY STEVENS!!!

(NTD) - STEVENS!!! MARK STEVENS WITH THE DOUBLE PLAY, AND THIS ONE MAY BE OVER CURRY!!!

(Curry) - It very well may be!!

The fans are cheering as Stevens pulls Xstasy onto his back, and makes the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

(Curry) - NEW CHAMPION!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……NOOOOO!!!!

(Curry) - NO!! XSTASY KICKED OUT!! XSTASY KICKED OUT OF THE DOUBLE PLAY!!! IT’S NOT OVER!! IT’S NOT OVER YET!!

(NTD) - It continues!! This match continues!!

The fans really explode as the upstart kicks out of a sure Stevens win, while the Heavy Hitter seems to be upset about the kick out. He jumps up and throws 3 fingers in referee Matt Kivell’s face, screaming for the three count. Kivell responds with 2 fingers, swearing that it was only a two count.

(Curry) - Xstasy kicks out at the very last second, and Stevens can’t believe it. He’s besides himself!

While Stevens argues with the referee, a weary Thugg stirs and gets to his feet by the near left corner. Once he gets to his feet, Thugg sees and opportunity, so he steps to the outside and climbs the turnbuckle. The fans boo while taking pictures, as Thugg perches himself on the top turnbuckle.

(Curry) - Wait!! Thugg’s going up top!! What’s he doing up there??

(NTD) - I don’t know, but seeing a man that large on the top rope scares me.

Stevens appears to have accepted Kivell’s explanation, but when he turns around to see what the boos are about, he is met with a flying clothesline from Thugg!!

(Curry) - Did you see that??? I haven’t seen that move from Thugg in ages!! The flying clothesline from the 450-pound Thugg!!

(NTD) - That’s gotta be a scary sight for Stevens…to turn around and see a 450-pound man coming at you through the air? Whew….glad I’m not Mark Stevens.

Both men go crashing to the mat, shaking the ring in the process, but Stevens takes the worst of it as Thugg wearily gets it back together, and makes the cover on Stevens!

(Curry) - Cover by Thugg!!! Thugg to retain!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

(Curry) - THIS IS IT! THUGG’S GONNA KEEP HIS TITLE AND HIS JOB!!!

The fans boo loudly as Kivell brings his hand down for…

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……NOOOOOO!!!

The crowd roars!!

(Curry) - NOOOO!! STEVENS WITH THE KICK OUT!!! STEVENS KICKED OUT!!!

(NTD) - I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!! THIS MATCH GOES ON!! HOW MUCH MORE CAN THESE THREE MEN TAKE!!

HVT rolls off and holds his head in disbelief, much in the same manner Stevens did a moment ago. Stevens remains on the canvas, still ailing as HVT gets in Kivell’s face.

(Curry) - And now Thugg’s in Kivell’s face. He’s had Stevens and Thugg in his face now about the count, but he stands by his decision, saying it as only a 2 count.

HVT doesn’t take nearly as much time with the referee as Stevens did, so when he turns around, he isn’t surprised to see Xstasy staggering to his feet. HVT moves over and helps Xstasy all the way to his feet, pushes him to the near right corner, and then whips the Perfect Drug to the far left corner where he slams back first into the turnbuckle.

(Curry) - Thugg smartly not arguing with Kivell for long, and now he’s controlling Xstasy with Mark Stevens down.

HVT runs in behind Xstasy and then slams body to body with the upstart, sandwiching him in the corner. HVT quickly grabs Xstasy and whips him back across the ring to the corner from which they came, and again, splashes Xstasy in the corner.

(NTD) - Awwww! 450 pounds right into the body of Xstasy!

(Curry) - Thugg’s really in control now, and at this late stage of the match, it may be too late for the Perfect Drug.

HVT lifts Xstasy up to a seated position on the top turnbuckle as the fans get to the edge of their seats. HVT gets himself up to the second turnbuckle and grabs Xstasy in a front face lock!

(Curry) - Oh dear!! This is gonna be bad for Xstasy!! Real bad!

However, as HVT goes to lift Xstasy for a Superplex, Xstasy desperately drives his fist into Thugg’s stomach, momentarily stopping the beast. Three more right hands to the stomach send the fans into a frenzy as HVT goes crashing to the mat below.

(Curry) - No!! Xstasy punches Thugg off, and…

Xstasy pushes himself all the way up to the top turnbuckle and looks out at the fallen Thugg.

(Curry) - Xstasy’s up top!! High risk!!

Xstasy takes flight, the fans taking thousands of pictures as the Perfect Drug performs a back flip in mid air. His flight takes him directly in the direction of Thugg, but at the very last second, HVT rolls to his right and Xstasy’s Shooting Star Press finds nothing but canvas!!

(NTD) - HE MISSED IT!!

(Curry) - XSTASY MISSED WITH THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! WHAT A HIGH RISK MANEUVER GONE WRONG FOR THE PERFECT DRUG!!

(NTD) - THIS SPELLS BAD NEWS FOR XSTASY NOW!!

Xstasy hits the canvas and bounces right back up to his feet, holding his stomach as he stumbles around the ring. HVT gets back to his feet as the fans give heat for the botched high-risk maneuver, and Xstasy stumbles right into…

SMACK!

…Thugg’s one handed choke!!!

(Curry) - NOOOOO!!!

(NTD) - Oh dear.

HVT quickly lifts Xstasy up with one hand and starts to spin for the Untamed, but as he spins, Xstasy wraps his legs around Thugg’s arm and drops his weight so that Thugg falls face first. As Thugg hits the canvas, Xstasy bounces back up, claps, and falls back HARD in an Indian Deathlock on Thugg’s arm!

(NTD) - SOARGASM!!! SOARGASM!!!!

(Curry) - What a reversal by Xstasy!!! He counted that Untamed with the painful Soargasm submission!! And there’s not getting out of the Soargasm!! Thugg’s gonna have to tap here!!

CLAP! BAM!

Xstasy rises again and then falls back for more pressure on the arm as the fans cheer louder than they have all night and Thugg screams in pain.

(NTD) - He’s gonna tap! Thugg’s gonna tap! His career in the SWF is over!! It’s over!!

CLAP! BAM!

(Curry) - He can’t get out of it!! It’s just a matter of time!!

CLAP!

(Curry) - Wait a second!

As Xstasy rises to apply more pressure, Mark Stevens runs over and drives his foot right into Xstasy’s face, forcing him to break the deadly submission on Thugg!

(NTD) - STEVENS BROKE UP THE SOARGASM!!!

(Curry) - Good thing too! If Thugg had tapped, he would have lost as well! He not only saved Thugg’s career there, but he saved his chances for winning the world title!

Xstasy goes flying back and Stevens goes to one knee, still ailing. Thugg rolls away holding his arm as Stevens goes after Xstasy. Grand Slam lifts Xstasy to his feet, but Xstasy explodes out of his grasp and fires a hard right hand to Steven’s face, staggering the Heavy Hitter.

(Curry) - Xstasy still has something left, scoring with the right hand.

Xstasy attempts to whip Stevens to the far ropes, but Stevens reverses, sending Xstasy rebounding off the far ropes. Xstasy comes barreling in, and ducks under Steven’s grasp. He bounces off the near ropes, and just as Stevens turns around, he dives at the Carnival member, driving his shoulder into Steven’s midsection with a desperation Spear!!!

(NTD) - SPEAR!! SPEAR!!

(Curry) - XSTASY WITH THE SPEAR!!! DESPERATION, BUT EFFECTIVE MOVE FROM XSTASY, WHO JUST WON’T GO AWAY!!

The fans explode as Stevens gets mangled by the Spear from Xstasy, who floats over and screams as he hooks the leg of the Heavy Hitter!

(Curry) - XSTASY FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

(Curry) - HE’S DONE IT!!! XSTASY IS THE NEW SWF CHAMPION!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…………………NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

(Curry) - NO! THUGG BREAKS UP THE COUNT!! HE BREAKS IT UP AT THE ABSOLUTE LAST SECOND, SAVING HIS TITLE AND HIS DAMN JOB!!!

(NTD) - Will this match ever end??? Nobody wants to lose!

Stevens rolls under the ropes to the outside as HVT, still reeling from earlier action, staggers away from Xstasy, who is slowly getting to his feet. HVT slowly moves back to Xstasy, but is met with a barrage of right and left hand to his face and body from Xstasy!

(Curry) - Xstasy with those Blitzing Jabs!! He’s got Thugg on the ropes!!

HVT stumbles back until his back is against the near ropes, and when Xstasy stops his assault, HVT simply leans helplessly against the ropes. Xstasy backs up a step and looks for the Superkick, however, when he throws the kick, HVT grabs referee Matt Kivell and pulls the ref into his place against he ropes, he himself sliding out of the way. Xstasy’s foot hits Kivell’s face, and the referee goes over the top rope and down to the outside!

(Curry) - SON OF A BITCH!!! THE HVILLE THUGG JUST PULLED THE REFEREE IN THE WAY OF THAT KICK FROM XSTASY!!!

Xstasy looks over the ropes at the down Matt Kivell as Thugg waits behind him with his hand raised.

(Curry) - NO!! THIS ISN’T RIGHT!! HE CAN’T DO THAT!! THAT BASTARD THUGG DELIBERATLY PULLED THE REF IN THE WAY!!

(NTD) - This ain’t good! It’s not good for anybody involved!

The fans boo like crazy as Xstasy turns around. HVT throws his hand out to grab Xstasy, but Xstasy alertly leaps into the air and kicks Thugg’s hand away, and when he comes down, he kicks Thugg in the stomach to double the giant, sending the fans back to their feet.

(Curry) - WAIT!

With Thugg doubled, Xstasy locks on a front face lock, then twists SWIFTLY, turning both him and Thugg back to back as he drops down in a VICIOUS neckbreaker!

(NTD) - XCEPTION!!! XCEPTION!!!

(Curry) - XSTASY WITH THE XCEPTION!!! THUGG IS DOWN, AND OUT!!! WHAT A COUNTER BY XSTASY!!!

Xstasy instinctively floats over a lifeless HVT and covers the massive beast…

(Curry) - XSTASY WITH THE COVER!! BUT THERE’S NO REFEREEE!! THANKS TO THUGG THERE’S NO REF!! XSTASY HAS THIS MATCH WON!! THAT TITLE SHOULD BE HIS!!

(NTD) - X, THERE’S NO REF!! THUGG KNOCKED HIM OUT!

The fans count to five before exploding into an eruption of cheers. The camera pans up to the entrance ramp to see…………………………STUBBY P. MCWEED!!

(Curry) - IT’S STUBBY!!! IT’S COMMISSIONER STUBBY MCWEED!!!

(NTD) - JUSTICE!! STUBBY’LL FIX EVERYTHING!!

Stubby runs down the ramp amongst the thousands of cheers, and when he reaches ringside, he kicks Kivell to revive him. Meanwhile, in the ring, Xstasy has come to his senses and gets up off of Thugg. He looks over the ropes to see Stubby taking Matt Kivell’s referee shirt off!!

(Curry) - Wait a second! What is Stubby doing??

The fans cheer as Stubby removes Kivell’s shirt…AND PUTS IT ON!!

(Curry) - STUBBY JUST PUT ON THE REFEREE’S SHIRT!! STUBBY’S THE REFEREE!!! ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD!!

(NTD) - Can he do that?

(Curry) - HE’S THE DAMN COMMISSIONER, HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS! AND FINALLY SOME JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE HVILLE THUGG!!

Xstasy looks on in disbelief as Stubby slides in the ring amongst the loudest cheers of the evening. Xstasy looks around at the cheering fans, and then to Stubby, before running to the near right corner. Xstasy hops up to the top turnbuckle and turns to face the screaming fans

(Curry) - AND YES!!! XSTASY…HE’S UP TOP!! HE’S LOOKING FOR IT…

Xstasy brings his hands together in a “X”, and then leaps off backwards off the turnbuckle. He flies through thousands of flashbulbs, flips forward, and lands back first onto the Hville Thugg!!!!!

(Curry) - THERE IT IS!! THERE IT IS!! THE XSTATIC!! THE HVILLE THUGG’S CAREER IS OVER! HIS TITLE REIGN IS OVER!!

(NTD) - I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!! XSTASY IS THE NEW CHAMPION, AND THE HVILLE THUGG’S CAREER IS OVER IN THE SWF…ALL THANKS TO THE COMMISSIONER, STUBBY P. MCWEED!

Xstasy holds his back as he turns over and covers the Hville Thugg, for the last time ever!! The fans cheer as McWeed drops down to make the cover…

(Curry) - And here’s the count!!

ONE!!

(Curry) - YES!! Finally, someone has put that sick son of a bitch in his place!

TWO!!

(NTD) - IT’S ALL OVER!! IT’S OVER!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEE………………………NO!!!

(Curry) - WAIT!! WAIT ONE GODDAMN SECOND!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!

What Curry can’t believe is the unthinkable…STUBBY STOPPED JUST BEFORE HIS HAND HITS THE CANVAS FOR THREE!!!

(NTD) - What the…

(Curry) - STUBBY STOPPED!! WHY?? WHY DIDN’T HE COUNT THE THREE!!! THUGG DIDN’T KICK OUT…HIS FEET AREN’T ON THE ROPES!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Inside the ring, Stubby looks into Xstasy’s hurt eyes, a smile etched on his face. Xstasy jumps up in disbelief, and Stubby gets up as well. Xstasy just looks at Stubby with pain in his face, yet confused as well. Then, out of no where, the fans erupt into boos as Stubby kicks Xstasy in the stomach, doubling him, and then…

(Curry) - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! GODDAMMIT NO!!

…slams Xstasy’s head to the canvas with a bone crushing, brain rattling, heartbreaking Paranoid Freakout!!!

(NTD) - DID HE JUST?? NO, HE DIDN’T…

(Curry) - YES HE DID! STUBBY MCWEED JUST HIT XSTASY WITH THE PARANOID FREAKOUT!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! WHY WOULD HE DO SUCH A THING??

Stubby smiles as he looks down on the fallen Drug, but then swiftly drops down as HVT drapes his near dead arm onto Xstasy’s lifeless body.

(Curry) - THIS CAN’T BE!! IT CAN’T BE!!

ONE!!

(Curry) - NO!! NOT LIKE THIS!!! I…

TWO!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……………

(Curry) - NOOOOOOOO!!! MARK STEVENS!! MARK STEVENS GRABS STUBBY!!! MARK STEVENS SAVES THE DAY!!!

The fans are beside themselves with cheers as Stevens grabs Stubby by the legs and pulls the commissioner out of the ring. Once he has Stubby on the floor, he begins to scream at him…so loud it can be heard by the fans at home.

(Stevens) - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? WHAT THE FU…

Before Stevens can finish, he to becomes victim to…

(Curry) - NOOOOOO!!! NOT STEVENS TOO!!! DEAR LORD!! WHAT THE FUCK HAS GOTTEN INTO STUBBY MCWEED!!

… A DEVASTATING PARANOID FREAKOUT!!!

(Curry) - NTD??

(NTD) - I’m speechless Curry! I can’t believe what I’m seeing.

(Curry) - I never thought I’d see the day…OH MY GOD!!!

While Stubby screams at Stevens on the outside, HVT uses the near ropes to pull his dead body up, getting to his feet. Also, Xstasy attempts to get to his feet, but he’s so disoriented, he walks right into Thugg’s one handed choke. It is at this point that the debris begins to fly to the ring as the fans call for the blood of the Hville Thugg and the SWF commissioner!

(Curry) - NO!! THUGG’S GOT ‘EM SET UP!! I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!! THIS IS THE BIGGEST INJUSTICE IN THE HISTORY OF THIS BUSINESS!!

HVT, holding Xstasy with a one-handed choke, lifts the Perfect Drug into the air, spins around, and drives Xstasy’s helpless body to the mat with a spinning chokeslam!!!

(NTD) - Even I believe this is wrong!! This is just wrong!!

(Curry) - I…I…I just can’t believe it!! I can’t believe Thugg’s gonna win like this!

HVT topples over, nearly dead, onto Xstasy for the cover. Stubby slides quickly into the ring, and then, with the quickest count in the history of the fed…

ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

(Curry) - NO!!! THIS IS WRONG!! THIS IS WRONG!!!

Stubby angrily calls for the bell, which, for fear of losing his job, is rung by the timekeeper.

DING DING DING

The fans are completely beside themselves with hatred and shock as Stubby grabs HVT and pulls the dead champion up to his feet.

(Funyon) - Your winner…AND STILL SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THE HVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE THHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

The announcement calls for more debris to fly to ringside as the fans continue to shower HVT and Stubby with heat. In the ring, Stubby raises Thugg’s hand high into the air, and then puts Thugg’s arm over his shoulder when Thugg nearly falls over from exhaustion.

(Curry) - WHAT THE FUCK! I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!! I CAN’T!

(NTD) - THIS IS…I DON’T KNOW! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE?!?

“Who We Be” hits the speakers as Stubby and HVT stand in the ring, Stubby’s face etched with glee and Thugg’s body nearly failing him.

(Curry) - THE FALLOUT FROM THIS WILL ROCK THE FED! WHAT A TURN OF EVENTS!! WHY DID STUBBY HELP THE HVILLE THUGG?? HAS HE JOINED DA POUND?? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?? THIS FED WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, AND STORM ON FRIDAY WILL BE NOTHING SHORT OF HISTORICAL! BE SURE TO TUNE IN!!

A final shot of the fans showering the two most hated men in the world with boos and debris is shown, followed by the SWF logo, and then a black screen…ending this edition of Battleground II.

April 1, 2002

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

- Spider and Thoth retain the uhhh...hotly contested tag titles.

HARDCORE TITLE MATCH

- Longdogger Pete wins with some help from...Sydney Sky? Bwuh?

3-WAY ELIMINATION US TITLE MATCH

- K-Os wins the US title in his first WF match!

2 FALL MATCH FOR THE LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE AND #1 CONTENDERSHIP OF THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

- Magnifico retains the belt, but Fallout will be facing the champion!

ICTV TITLE MATCH

- Edwin pulls out a very hard fought win.

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE SWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

- Let's just say, you should read the match...

SWF Battleground 2

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