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AngleMania IV

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OAOAST.COM WEBCAST

THE SHOW BEFORE THE SHOW

 

TONY SCHIAVONE

Hello everybody, and welcome to our pre-Anglemania broadcast on OAOAST.com! You have just a short time remaining to order the Anglemania IV, and trust me, you don't want to miss it!

 

JESSE VENTURA

You're damn right you don't, Schiavone! That card is stacked and jacked and ready to go!

 

SCHIAVONE

But we have a little taster of OAOAST action for you, just in case you're not convinced. And frankly, if you're not, you're an idiot! You'll never put asses on seats!

 

Cue: "Calling Dr. Love"

 

BUFFER

The following contest is for the HIYAH International Tag Titles and is set for one fall! Introducing first the challengers - from Chicago, Illinois, total combined weight 454lbs - the LUUUUUUUURVE DOCTORS!

 

Max Anderson and Steven Pigley spring out, strutting their stuff down toward the Anglemania ring.

 

SCHIAVONE

The Doc's have been absent the past few weeks on HeldDown due to a massive pandemic of scurvy at the Windy City Hospital.

 

VENTURA

Scurvy? Like pirates?

 

SCHIAVONE

Arrrrrrrrr!

 

Cue: "Hit Me Verdi One More Time"

 

BUFFER

And their opponents, total combined weight 801lbs, they are the HIYAH tag team champions - JINGUS and The Sadist - HELLLLLLLLLLLS HIT-MEN!

 

The monsters, dressed in matching red and black trunks, walk slowly to the ring, grinning and looking confident.

 

SCHIAVONE

We've not seen the Hitmen much the past few weeks either. They've been defending the HIYAH tag titles over in Japan, where JINGUS narrowly escaped being locked up after actually murdering a tag team. Dead. In the middle of the ring! It was the greatest night in the history of our sport!

 

VENTURA

Why are the Quacks getting this shot anyway? They got totally destroyed last month live on pay per view! I suppose at least this time, they'll only be humiliated on free TV.

 

SCHIAVONE

Well, the Docs have shed that bad attitude that cost them so dearly as you say. They've got their heads back in the game and we'll see if they can recapture their titles too!

 

The Hitmen climb into the ring and look down at their much smaller opponents, laughing with sinister intent. The Docs shake hands with each other, referee Clem Buzzlefoxer, and offer hands to the Hitmen. JINGUS attempts to bite them off.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

SCHIAVONE

We're underway here on OAOAST Show Before the Show! Not long till Anglemania now, folks! Pick up those phones! I'll do anything to get you to call! Anything!

 

VENTURA

What happens if this match goes long? Does Anglemania have to wait for it to finish?

 

SCHIAVONE

Um...GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!

 

JINGUS and Dr. Max Anderson to start for their teams. Ref Clem pats down Dr. Anderson's white tights, but backs off from JINGUS after a growl from the Devilman. JINGUS challenges Max to a test of strength. The Doc bravely (stupidly) accepts, and, of course, the moment their hands lock up JINGUS powers Anderson down to his knees.

 

VENTURA

For men with phds you'd think they'd understand that bigger muscles = stronger.

 

JINGUS growls and tries to grind Max into the mat, but Anderson gets a hand free and whips around the Devilman, applying a hammerlock. JINGUS just runs backwards and crushes Max into the nearest corner turnbuckles. JINGUS turns and whips Max all the way across the ring to the opposite corner, then charges after him and mashes Anderson with an avalanche. JINGUS grabs Anderson by the throat as he staggers out! Chokeslam! No - Max kicks the Devilman repeatedly in the leg until he relinquishes his death grip, and then runs the ropes and delivers a low dropkick to the same leg. JINGUS buckles down to one knee, and Anderson tries a close range shining wizard, but JINGUS pushes him off and spins Max 360 with a thunderous lariat.

 

The Devilman scrapes Dr. Anderson off the mat and tags in the Sadist. JINGUS holds Max while Sadist throws monsterous power punches into his midsection. Sadie then just tosses Max out over the top rope! But wait! Anderson skins the cat and lands back in the ring as Sadist is taunting Dr. Pigley! Sadist turns, right into a super kick from Anderson! Sadie staggers but doesn't go down, falling against the ropes instead. Max tags Dr. Steve.

 

SCHIAVONE

What a move from Max! An awesome sidewalk slam!

 

VENTURA

How is this possible? You've gotten worse!

 

The Docs whip Sadie to the ropes. As he bounces back, Max trips him to the mat with a drop toe hold. Anderson slaps on a chinlock, while Pigley bounces off the cables and delivers a seated dropkick to the upraised face of Sadist!

 

Pigley covers Sadist -

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Sadie throws Pigley off of him and both men climb up. Sadist swings and misses. Pigley throws a series of punches into his midsection, and tries to whip him to the ropes. Sadie won't be moved. Pigley tries again, but Sadist just pulls him in and hits him with a sidewalk slam!

 

VENTURA

Go on then! Call it!

 

SCHIAVONE

Call what?

 

Sadist tags in JINGUS, who picks Pigley up and sets for a Devilbomb! Dr. Steve flips out however as the Devilman raises him, and lands on his feet. Jawbreaker for JINGUS! Pigley rubs his head as he tags Max Anderson. Anderson grabs the top rope and springboards in with a flying lariat to the chest of the Devilman. JINGUS doesn't go down, so Max quickly climbs to the top rope. JINGUS sees him there and starts to climb up after him. Sadist jumps into the ring to help, but Dr. Pigley sees him off with a dropkick that sends him back out over the top rope to the floor.

 

Pigley then climbs out of the ring and up next to Max. Together they grab JINGUS, who's standing on the second rope, and drop him to the mat with a double team Falcon Arrow type manoeuvre! JINGUS rolls onto his back, and Pigley leaps off with a deadly double stomp to the head from the top rope! Pigley rolls out of the ring, allowing Anderson to spring off the top with his 450 splash he calls SHOCK THERAPY!

 

Anderson crunches onto JINGUS as Clem counts!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

*THWACK!*

 

Sadist breaks it up with a vicious chair shot to the back of Anderson!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

*THWACK! THWACK!*

 

Sadie continues to beat Max down! Pigley runs in!

 

*THWACK!* - no! Pigley ducks the chairshot and kicks it back into Sadist's face! Dr. Steve opens the chair up, grabs Sadist and DDT's him right onto the seat of the chair! Pigley then closes the chair with a nasty snap around Sadist's neck!

 

Steve picks a groggy Max up, as they get a warm reaction from the crowd for their gutsy efforts.

 

SCHIAVONE

Well, the Docs came so close to winning the titles. They've got to be in line for another shot.

 

VENTURA

No way Schiavone, those little creeps should be banned from wrestling! Look what Pigley did to poor Sadist!

 

SCHIAVONE

I expect he enjoyed it. Just like you fans will enjoy Anglemania IV! By lucky coincidence, that match ended just in time. You have just a few more seconds to order Anglemania IV, come on! There's only so much shilling I can do!

 

VENTURA

How about you tell the viewers how this is the greatest night in the history of our sport?

 

SCHIAVONE

(hurt) Well, it is...We're now going backstage to get drunk and have sex with dwarves..er...to watch the show! For those of you watching the free preview on OAOAST.com, stay with us. Those of you who'll watch AngleMania IV like a normal person on pay-per-view, flip over right now. For Jesse Ventura, I'm Tony Schiavone - it's time for ANGLEMANIA FOUR!

 

TV-14

L,V

 

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *

 

Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight.

 

oao2.jpg

 

THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~!

Edited by Tony149

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It began….with a simple beltshot.

 

And now it’s transformed into the biggest event the Sports-Entertainment world has ever known.

 

It’s AngleMania IV. And it’s coming to you LIVE from Trump Plaza~!

 

CUT: Hoff, cycling intensely on a stationary exercise bike.

 

HOFF

Anglemania, to me, is the stage where legends are made...it's where moments happen. I think back to my own Anglemania experience, last year, at Anglemania III, where CWM and I had this great match, and it ended up being sort of a coming out party for me. And then afterward, getting the opportunity to shake his hand, in front of nearly 100,000 people...we both knew that is was something special. This was the culmination of this huge, personal rivalry, and it was the perfect stage to go out on. Moments like that, y'know, they're unforgettable. I'm just hoping I can make Anglemania IV my night.

 

CUT: Leon Rodez sitting on a weight bench, taping his wrists.

 

RODEZ

What does Anglemania mean to me? Let's put it this way...I know what it's like to miss out on Anglemania. I spent months of rehab, months of pain, months of not being able to do the thing I love and the only thing that kept me going was the prospect of coming back and wrestling the big matches, on the big stages. And to me, Anglemania is the biggest stage. To me...Anglemania means that all the rehab, all the work and all the anguish...was worth it

 

CUT: Tha Puerto Rican, slowly doing push-ups on the locker room floor.

 

TPR

It's the biggest night of the year. It's your chance to show the world what you're really made of. I get goosebumps everytime I wrestle at AngleMania. There is nothing in the world that can match the excitement and the incredible feeling of competing at OAOAST AngleMania. Absolutely nothing.

 

CUT: T-Bod, lifting weights on a military press machine.

 

TONY

I've wrestled some of the top names this company has ever seen at AngleMania, from The Superstar, to Anglesault, and tonight Zack Malibu, Caboose and Some Guy. You might think that after appearing at 3 AngleManias the aura of competing on the biggest stage, on the biggest show of the year, becomes tiresome, just another show. No, it becomes more of an honor.

 

CUT: Panther lightly jogging in place

 

PANTHER

It's what you work your whole career for. This is why you become a wrestler. It's a night where you can look back on your career...on all the trials, the tribulations you've been through...all the injuries, all the politics...it's the night that you can look back on all of it all and say that it was all worth it

 

CUT: Axel putting on his elbow pads

 

AXEL

AngleMania is the pinnacle of a year of hard work. It's the one place that can make you, or break you. Only a select few get the opportunity to wrestle at this event, and you have to make the most of your opportunity

 

CUT: Crystal tying up her boots

 

CRYSTAL

AngleMania is the pinnacle of what I have worked for. It is me carving a name for myself and me proving I am truly one of the greats. Because I'm female? No, because I'm that much better than everyone else.

 

CUT: Prince Killings, arrogantly staring at himself in the mirror.

 

KILLINGS

What does Anglemania mean to me? The first step to an even better existance, one where I don't have to degrade myself doing this crap to get noticed. THAT'S what this show means to me

 

CUT: CWM hyping himself up near the Gorilla Position

 

CWM

Anglemania. What can I say about Anglemania that hasn't already been said? Anglemania is where the best in the world put their bodies on the line. At Anglemania, when I step through that curtain, I know there's nothing I can't do

 

CUT: Krista wearing the body of the Easter Bunny costume, but still holding the head under her arm

 

KRISTA

Anglemania is where misfits, outcasts and losers come to die and be reborn into winners, under the golden spotlight of sports entertainment most treasured event. Never once do they realize that the fame they seek will fade away faster then a cheap tan. But that’s what makes this event so special. The innocence of man and his admirable naivety converge to create one magical moment where it seems dreams will live forever and success will be eternal.

 

CUT: Caboose standing slowly from the announcer’s table, staring a hole into the ring.

 

CABOOSE

I’ll never forget walking down the aisle at the first AngleMania. Walking out at AngleMania is like being drunk with life….CWM would know what I mean. When I had AngleMania II taken away from me, it was like a part of me died. It doesn't matter if you get booed or cheered, when the crowd simply acknowledges you at AngleMania, nothing else matters

 

CUT: Drek Stone holding the Heavyweight Title in his arms, almost cradling it.

 

DREK

Hard to believe, but this is my first AngleMania. This is the first time I’m ever going to get a chance to walk out and take part in the grandest Pay-Per-View of the year. Maybe of all time. And to do it as the Champion -- to do it when not one single OAOAST fan knew my name at this time last year? It’s the ultimate honor. This is my first AngleMania….and I intend to make it memorable.

 

CUT: Zack Malibu pacing back and forth in a darkened hallway.

 

ZACK

Anglemania. The pinnacle. The highlight. Where endings and beginnings take place. Where stars begin to shine. The ultimate proving ground

 

The screen slowly darkens….

 

ANNOUNCER

But tonight….

 

Cue the ever-popular INTENSE~! music!

 

TONY

Tonight, the world sees why we are The Original Elite!

 

ZACK

This year isn't about a title. This year I'm out for something that means more to me...blood

 

CWM

Tonight, I get revenge

 

TONY

6 of the most decorated wrestlers to have ever stepped foot in the OAOAST will face each other not for championship gold, but for pride.

 

CWM

Tonight, I put everyone in their place

 

ZACK

The blood of Black T and CWM, for what they did to me...what they did to Candie, and what they want to do to this company.

 

TONY

3 World Champions and countless Tag Team Title reigns between us

 

CWM

Tonight everyone is going to understand what I've always known

 

ZACK

It's Anglemania, baby. Blood feuds were made for Anglemania

 

CWM

That I am better than Zack Malibu

 

CRYSTAL

If Axel thinks that just because he's "angry" that I'm running scared, he's got another thing coming

 

AXEL

Crystal, you're my first focus, and I will get my revenge for what you did to me.

 

CRYSTAL

Just like last year at Anglemania, he'll be staring up at the ceiling and it'll be my hand raised in victory.

 

CORNETTE

Heavenly Rockers, be prepared for the fight of your lives.

 

LOGAN

Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned, after we get through with you, instead of being the New New Midnight Express, you'll be Worn Out Midnight Express.

 

SIMON

It's our first time at the big dance. It's nerve wrecking and exciting all at the same time, but believe me, it'll be successful.

 

TIFFANY

We's gonna be the crazy mothers that bring tha firearms. It's gonna be bitchin'!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Tonight is the night that I get my revenge on Panther for what he did to me!

 

PANTHER

On the biggest stage of them all, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to be victorious.

 

TPR

Rage In The Cage is the perfect phrase to describe our Steel Cage Match.

 

PANTHER

Whatever it takes to make sure that when the smoke has cleared and the dust has settled, it'll be my name that goes down in the history books as the victor.

 

TPR

I will lay the smackdown on his candy ass, and show him what happens when you piss off Tha Puerto Rican!

 

PANTHER

PR--at Anglemania, you'd better bring everything you've got into that cage, because you'd damn sure better believe that I'll be bringing everything AND THEN SOME!"

 

TPR

After tonight, Panther will learn that PAYBACKS A BITCH!

 

THE 70s DUDE

Anglemania IV...where the past not only meets the present, it beats the present! OH! HAVE MERCY!

 

SCOTTY STATIC

Me and the Triple J have done it all in the OAOAST, and we have proven time and time and time and time again why we are the hottest tag team going today!

 

JOHNNY JACKSON

Anglemania 4, the GPX are lookin' to get things done and stay number one, ya heard?

 

KRISTA

I know asking wrestlers to use common sense is as fruitless an exercise as trying to resurrect Cuba Gooding Jr's career, but please!

 

JOHNNY

Scotty Static and Johnny Jackson ain't goin' nowhere but straight to the top, and Anglemania is just a stop on the way.

 

KRISTA

Alix and I don't mind defending our titles. Because we know we're going to win and think we're going to lose.

 

SCOTTY

Over a year long and going strong, the Global Party Exchange don't need to be serious to know what this means to the world.

 

KRISTA

The Global Party Exchange knows they're going to lose and thinks they're going to win.

 

JOHNNY

GPX...you better believe the hype, because the hype is real. Global Party Exchange. Anglemania. HOLLA!"

 

RODEZ

This is my chance, with three of the greatest X-Division wrestlers in this company's history, to steal the show. I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. This might be my first Anglemania and my opponents may have ready built legacies. But I'm ready...to begin my legacy...at Anglemania

 

DREK

This is it. Tonight is the night I prove to the entire world just how dominant of a champion I am.

 

HOFF

Tonight is the night I bring home the gold. The gold I should have never lost.

 

AXEL

Tonight is about me winning the OAOAST Championship

 

DREK

Hoff, I’ve beaten you before.

 

HOFF

Drek, you CAN’T beat me fairly.

 

DREK

Axel, I’ve pinned you before.

 

AXEL

I’m going to eat you alive!

 

DREK

I can beat you both in the same night. I know I can.

 

HOFF

It doesn’t matter if it’s Drek or Axel. The Heavyweight Title is leaving with me.

 

AXEL

I’m going to realize my destiny! I’m going to bring home the title that’s always escaped me!

 

DREK

If I don’t win….

 

HOFF

I can’t fail.

 

AXEL

I’m not willing to fail.

 

DREK

If I don’t win, you will never see me in this company again.

 

HOFF

I plan to win a title….

 

AXEL

….and end a career….

 

HOFF

…..in the same night.

 

DREK

This title means the world to me. And I won’t lose it. Not here. Not at AngleMania. And not to those two.

 

AXEL

I’m walking out of here with the gold.

 

DREK

And if I do?

 

HOFF

I’m starting a new era in the OAOAST.

 

DREK

….I’m gone.

 

And with that, we slowly fade to black.

 

AM4-copya.gif

 

BOOM! POW! POW! POW! POW! POW! BOOM!

 

LIVE!

ANGLEMANIA IV

TRUMP PLAZA

 

We pan around the sold-out Trump Plaza as fireworks continue to explode. The people. The signs, including one that says "MALIBU--DON'T WORK ME!" Excitement is in the air. We're greeted by our hosts Tony Schiavone, dressed in a tuxedo, and Jesse "The Body" Ventura, wearing a snake-skin jacket and American flag bandana, near the entraceway, their backs facing ringside, giving us a view of the ring and an ANGLEMANIA banner hanging in the background.

 

SCHIAVONE

They are jammed to the rafters. The night the wrestling world is waiting for is here. Forget about the other guys on tonight, AngleMania IV is LIVE on the air! Hello, everybody. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura here to welcome you to the biggest event of the year, AngleMania IV. 12 great matches. 5 title matches. Including for the first-time ever, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title being defended 3-times in one night, as the reigning champion "Reckless" Drek Stone steps back into the ring against Hoff; the winner going on to face the #1 contender Axel later tonight. Jesse, no incumbent World Heavyweight Champion has emerged successful at AngleMania. Will Drek Stone buck the trend tonight?

 

VENTURA

And it ain't gonna be easy, Tony Schiavone. I personally think it's a crime that the heavyweight champion of the world will have to successfully defend his title twice in one night. The NFL wouldn't ask the New England Patriots to play the Atlanta Falcons, then replay the Eagles in a rematch for the Super Bowl. Hoff had his shot, but people in high places have it in for Stone. But "The Dark One" ain't gonna go in with no advantage, either. He's gotta face the women who left him broken-hearted weeks ago, I'm talkin' about Crystal. Notice the pattern here, Schiavone?

 

SCHIAVONE

All former World Champions.

 

VENTURA

(laughs)

That's right. All 4 wrestlers will have to go through the best of the best tonight.

 

SCHAIVONE

We talked about the 12 matches signed for tonight. Another of the big ones -- and I know you're looking forward to this one -- The Original Elite -- CWM and Black T -- vs. Zack Malibu, Caboose and Some Guy. CWM, Caboose and Some Guy all making their in-ring returns at AngleMania.

 

VENTURA

This is all Zack's fault. Right now Black T should still be the World Tag Team Champions. But everything happens for a reason, don't it, Tony? Because of own his personal agenda, Black T made the decision to do a pre-emptive strike and removed Zack Malibu from the Elite, signing a pact with another former World Champion, CWM.

 

SCHIAVONE

As a matter of fact, we'll have 3 ex-World champions in the ring together. 5 title reigns between them. Not to mention countless other titles won by the men involved in the big six-man.

 

VENTURA

Let me ask you a question, Schiavone. Why is Caboose still allowed to commentate? With some of the things he's said and done in the last few weeks, why? You think President Bush would allow Bill Clinton to step foot back in the White House and let him sit in the oval office and run things? No way.

 

SCHIAVONE

I know some people who'd probably like to see that.

 

VENTURA

And don't forget, the last time Tony Brannigan and Caboose were in the same ring, Tony left him looking up at the lights.

 

SCHIAVONE

I remember that, it was on the very first edition of HeldDOWN~! Before we bring in our special guest, let's quickly run down the rest of tonight's great card. In addition to matches mentioned, you'll also see the Joy of X match featuring X Division Champion Leon Rodez and former champions K-Money, Amazing Rando and The Superstar. Tha Puerto Rican and Panther inside a steel cage. The world premiere of Prince Killings against Brock Ausstin. Game, Set, Match: The Heavenly Rockers vs. the New New Midnight Express. If the New New Midnight Express win, Holly-Wood must becomes Narcissistic Ned's love slave.

 

VENTURA

I bet she can't wait for the New New Midnight Express to win. I heard she's been leaving kinky messages on Narcissistic Ned's cell phone. I wouldn't blame her. If I were a woman, I'd not him too. Not as much as Tony Brannigan, but still just enough.

 

SCHIAVONE

We'll also see the Tag Team Titles on the line, as the champions C.O.D. defend their belts against the Global Party XChange.

 

VENTURA

I hate both teams. You got C.O.D. walkin' around with Black T's titles, then you got the GPX whinin' about them not getting a rematch after losing the belts and having to win a tournament to get another shot. Hopefully they beat each other so bad the becomes have to become vacanted.

 

SCHIAVONE

What about the Texas Deathmatch: The 70's Dude vs. Calvin?

 

VENTURA

I love that guy.

 

SCHIAVONE

Calvin?

 

VENTURA

No. The 70's Dude. You know, now that the OAOAST has a film division, we could pull a WWE Films and rip-off a pouplar movie or TV show. How 'bout the OAOAST version of ABC's "Lost" with the survivors being myself, The Original Elite and The 70's Dude.

 

SCHIAVONE

What, no women allowed?

 

VENTURA

Only super hot chicks for super hot and happenin' guys. Let's not forget Alfdogg's return.

 

SCHIAVONE

Lots of rumors circulating online as to who Alfdogg will face.

 

VENTURA

I know who.

 

SCHIAVONE

You do? Who?

 

VENTURA

Who?

 

SCHIAVONE

Yeah. You said you know who.

 

VENTURA

It ain't no secret, Schiavone.

 

SCHIAVONE

Then reveal who.

 

VENTURA

Okay. But only because you asked so nice. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart.

 

SCHIAVONE

Is that a late April Fool's joke?

 

VENTURA

That's no joke. Although you should hear the one Patty played-- You said you wanted to know who Who was, and I said it.

 

SCHIAVONE

I was talking about Alfdogg's opponents.

 

VENTURA

I was talking about Who.

 

SCHIAVONE

Oh, brother. Moving along. I'd like to welcome back a man many of you are familar with, he's now the Executive Vice President of OAOAST Entertainment after reorganization in the Trump empire for the soon-to-be launch OAOAST Films company; ladies and gentlement, please welcome to AngleMania IV, "Cowboy" Bill Watts.

 

Dressed to the nines in a tuxedo, snake-skin cowboy boots, and wearing his glasses, "Cowboy" Bill Watts walks up to Tony and Jesse. All 3 men shake hands, with Watts going in-between Tony and Jesse.

 

SCHIAVONE

Bill, great to see you again. I know you've been relaxing after bringing back Joise Baker as HeldDOWN~! General Manager, and I must say, you look great.

 

On-screen graphics reads: "COWBOY BILL WATTS, EVP OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT"

 

WATTS

Thank you, Tony. It's great to come back from some much need R&R on the night the wrestling world shines down on us. You and Jesse have already runned down the matches for tonight, so I'd like to take this time to thank the fans in attendence for coming out and those watching on pay-per-view for allowing us into their homes. The OAOAST ring is a no sissy zone. It's gonna be a night of hard-hitting, smashmouth wrestling action that only the OAOAST can provide. I guarantee you that.

 

SCHIAVONE

Bill, as you know, the first two matches on the card will feature the 3 men involved in the World Title picture in order to give them enough time to recover for the main event. What are your thoughts about Hoff, Axel, and the champion himself, Drek Stone?

 

WATTS

It's no secret that I've had my run-ins with Drek Stone, but he's a helluva competitor. The World's Champion. I don't always agree with Mr. Stone's tatics, but to be a champion you gotta have heart, and he most certainly does. Hoff is a man who saw his title reign cut short because of an ambush. He's worked his way back from a career-threatening injury for this very moment. So we know he's game. Then you have the final piece of the triangle, "The Dark One," Axel. Here's a young man who has worked his way up the ladder. He's dealt with some very public personal problems the last few weeks, but if you think he's not ready for tonight, well, you got another thing coming.

 

I'd like to briefly talk about something Jesse mentioned about the 3 men involved in tonight's hunt for the gold having to go through the best of the best. That's why I'm proud to be involved with the OAOAST. While you got a cartoon going on in Hollywood, right here in Atlantic City you're gonna see the toughest men and women in our sport hook 'em up for pride and championship gold. You're not gonna some wannabe rapper competing for the World's Title here. Oh, no. You're not gonna see some goose-steppin' wannabe Wall Street analyst competing for our World's Title. You're not gonna see a 36-year-old second year pro who's already on his last legs competing for the World's Title. Yeah, he dresses nice, but I'm more of a t-shirt and jeans guy myself. And you're damn sure not gonna see some egomanic -- well, everybody in professional wrestling has an ego, but you're not gonna see the man sleeping with the boss' daughter in our World's Title match.

 

VENTURA

I don't wanna imagine one of the boys sleeping with Zack.

 

WATTS

No, sir. You're gonna see 3 of the finest young competitors duke it out in the ring like real men for the honor of walking out of here as World's Champion. Enough with the talkin', let's hook 'em up!

 

The fans stand up and ROAR. Jesse pats Bill on the shoulder and nods his head, smiling.

 

SCHIAVONE

All righty. Let's go to the men calling the action -- Michael Cole, The Coach and Caboose at SOFA CENTRAL~!

 

The cameras cut to SOFA CENTRAL~, where the boys are all dressed up. Except Caboose, who is of course ready for battle.

 

COLE

WELCOME TO ANGLEMANIA FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The camera pans the SCREAMING fans at Trump Plaza, loving every minute of the spectacle.

 

COLE

I'm Michael Cole, joined by my colleagues Jonathon Coachman and Caboose, and we are rip roarin' ready to go!!

 

COACH

Absolutely, I couldn't BE more excited for this event if it had naked men everywhere!!

 

COLE

We've got SO many great matches on tap, TWO world title bouts, the cage match, the Texas Death match, the tag titles on the line, the JOY OF X match, and of course, grudge matches, one of which our partner Caboose will be a part of.

 

CABOOSE

Tonight, those sons of bitches are gonna be taught a lesson. Black T, CWM, you're going down.

 

COLE

Well ladies and gentlemen, we are moments away from our first match of the evening, our first TITLE match this evening, as Hoff takes on Drek Stone.

 

COACH

Wow! What an opener!

 

COLE

Absolutely. Only in the OAOAST will you see a Heavyweight Championship contest open the show!! Fans, let's take you back over the history between these two men, Hoff and Drek Stone.

 

AM-DREKVSHOFF.jpg

 

WORLD WITHOUT END, 10/31/2004

 

Hoff drops Crystal on her head, and lands HARD on the mat next to her. Hoff rolls away from the momentum of the move, then crawls over to Crystal and drapes one arm over the champion.

 

COLE

COULD IT BE?!

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!

 

*ding ding ding ding ding*

 

COLE

IT IS!!

 

COACH

HE GOT IT!!

 

CABOOSE

HE DID IT!! HE DID IT!! I TOLD YOU ALL ALONG HE'D DO IT!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

 

The crowd goes retarded as Hoff rolls off of Crystal, spent.

 

THE NEXT HELDDOWN

 

BUFFER

And her opponent this evening, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 267 pounds, he is the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World....HOFF!!!!!!!

 

The fans cheer as they wait for Hoff to appear on the stage...but Hoff doesn't appear on the stage.

 

COLE

...Where is he?

 

The lights come up, and the music dies off. The cameras show Crystal in the ring with one eyebrow raised, looking intently up the ramp.

 

COACH

Hoff's late!

 

COLE

This is strange...

 

CABOOSE

Where's the champ?

 

Crystal asks the referee a question, but he just shrugs and shakes his head. The ref leans over the ropes to ask something to the people at ringside, but they don't appear to have any answers.

 

COLE

What the...

 

CABOOSE

Where is he?

 

Crystal looks confused as the referee quickly heads to the back.

 

COLE

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not sure what's going on here...

 

COACH

Do we know why he isn't out here?

 

COLE

No. Wait...wait...okay, I'm getting something over my headset. Hoff is...what?

 

CABOOSE

Wait, what is it? Cole--

 

COLE

Hoff...someone took him out?

 

CABOOSE

WHAT?!

 

Folks, I...it seems that somebody has attacked the World Champion in the back...

 

The cameras cut to a shot in the back, the cameraman running down a series of hallways. The camera darts past a door marked "Thrillogy," and hangs a left...

 

COLE

Oh my God.

 

The cameraman freezes on a shot of Calvin Szechstein, kneeling over the face-down body of Hoff, looking shocked. Hoff's right knee is torqued at a violent angle, and a small pool of blood is under his forehead. Calvin quickly checks for a pulse, then pulls his hand off of Hoff's head...his hand, red with blood.

 

COACH

What the...

 

CALVIN (looking up frantically)

WILL SOMEBODY GET A FUCKING MEDIC?!?

 

THE NEXT WEEK

 

WATTS

As it turns out, I have a bit of bad news. Last week, you all saw the condition of Hoff as we went off of the air. As it turns out, the head wounds were not serious, and after some stitches, Mr. Hoff is in stable condition. However, the damage to his knee was far more extensive. As a result, Hoff has some damage to his ligaments which, while not career-threatening, will keep him out of action for a couple of months.

 

COLE

My God...

 

CABOOSE

NO!!

 

WATTS

Therefore, I have been forced to make the unfortunate call to strip Hoff of the OAOAST title and declare it vacant.

 

COACH

WHOA!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

 

WATTS

I know this is not a popular decision, but it is what is best for the company. And I promise, when Hoff gets back to the ring, he WILL get a shot at the OAOAST Championship!

 

A small cheer goes up.

 

WATTS

And, rest assured, when we find Hoff's assailant, who cowardly attacked him from behind, we WILL bring that person to justice. But, on a higher note, I do have one more announcement.

 

COACH

Ooh!

 

WATTS

To decide the vacant championship, at Thanksgiving Star Wars, we will be having an ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHH!!!!!"

 

COLE

All right!!

 

THANKSGIVING STAR WARS

 

COLE

Ladies and gentlemen...THIS is it. It's time for one of the most dangerous matches of the OAOAST year...it's time to settle who exactly is the World Champion...it's time for the ELIMINATION CHAMBER!

 

Axel heads to Ragdoll and starts forearming away on Ragdoll's back. When Rags loses his balance, Axel lifts him up on his shoulders! The crowd sees what's coming...AXEL SLAM!

 

COLE

HE HIT IT!

 

Axel goes for the pin...

 

1...

 

 

 

2....

 

 

 

THREE

 

BUFFER

Ragdoll has been eliminated!

 

OUT OF NOWHERE, a bloody Ragdoll comes flying into camera view and connects with the Devil Doll! Ragdoll immediately collapses, as he exerted all of the energy he had left to get his revenge! Drek immediately goes for the PIN...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

THREE!

 

BUFFER

Axel has been eliminated!

 

Sly crosses Stevens’s arms around him - lifts him up - AND DRIVES HIM WITH A SLYLEDRIVER INTO THE GLASS SHARDS!! The fans EXPLODE after the move, hearing Stevens’s head crash against a combination of glass and steel. Sly slowly hooks both his legs as the referee drops down for the count.

 

ONE!!!

 

TWO!!!

 

THREE!!!

 

The fans let out a loud cheer as Sly gets up slowly, holding onto his ribs in intense pain. He stares at a now-bloody Chris Stevens for a moment - but is brought down from behind by Crystal with a backslide pin!

 

COLE

Where the hell did she come from?!

 

The referee drops down for the count!

 

ONE!!!

 

TWO!!!

 

THREE!!!

 

COACH

WHOA!

 

COLE

And now we are down to two superstars! Either Drek Stone or Crystal will be walking out of here tonight with the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship!

 

Crystal, seeing that this could be her opportunity to finally end it, limps over to the ring ropes. Wiping the blood off her forehead and into her hair, Crystal takes a deep breath. She hops on the middle rope - hopes on the top rope - then JUMPS TOWARDS DREK STONE WITH A MOONSAULT!! AND SHE CONNECTS!!

 

COACH

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!! DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!!

 

CABOOSE

NO!!!!

 

COLE

CRYSTAL DROPS DOWN FOR THE COVER!!

 

CABOOSE

NO!!!! NO!!!!!

 

The referee drops down!

 

ONE!!!!

 

TWO!!!!

 

THREE!!!!

 

NO!!!!

 

KICKOUT!!!

 

DREK STONE ACTUALLY KICKED OUT OF THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!!!

 

CABOOSE

YES!! YES!! I KNEW IT!!

 

COLE

What will it take for this match to end?!

 

Crystal runs towards Drek with determination in her eyes. Drek’s eyes grow wide as Crystal CHARGES at him with a powerful spear! SHE COLLIDES WITH DREK STONE - but he wraps his arm around her head!! He uses her momentum to jump up in the air…..spin around….AND DROP CRYSTAL TO THE MAT WITH THE STONECUTTER!!

 

COLE

STONECUTTER!! A SECOND STONECUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh god! LET THIS BE IT!

 

Drek drops down onto Crystal’s chest and lightly hooks one of her legs as the referee makes the count.

 

ONE!!!!

 

TWO!!!!

 

THREE!!!!

 

YES!!!!

 

*DING! DING! DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen…..the winner of the Elimination Chamber match…..AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION………DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“Woke Up This Morning” begins blasting over the loudspeakers as Drek Stone slowly sits up, all energy pretty much sapped out of his veins.

 

CABOOSE

…..I……I’m speechless. I’m absolutely speechless.

 

COLE

My god, what a historic night. Drek Stone has become the Heavyweight Champion...

 

A fair portion of the crowd lets out a surprising roar as the referee slowly hands Drek Stone the Heavyweight Championship. Drek, with dried blood on his forehead and tears in his eyes, stares down at the belt in his grasp. Despite the referee trying to lift him up, Drek falls to his knees, still holding onto the title belt intensely.

 

n the ring, Drek continues to cradle the gold, obviously treasuring this special moment. Using the referee’s shoulder as support, Drek makes it up to his feet. With a deep breath, he holds the title up for the crowd, actually receiving a mixed reaction in return - some fans applauding his actions in the ring tonight, other fans resoundingly booing him for the terrible things they remember him for. Cannons set up along the field suddenly burst and confetti starts to rain in through the Chamber, coating the entire surface in a mixture of reds, whites, and blues.

 

COACH

Drek Stone only debuted SEVEN MONTHS AGO - and he is now the NEW Heavyweight Champion of the world!

 

CABOOSE

This is amazing. This is absolutely amazing. Folks, cherish this moment. I urge you. You may never see a moment as wonderful as this ever again. We have truly reached a new era in the OAOAST!

 

Through the pouring confetti, Drek limps over to a nearby turnbuckle. Through the pain, Drek climbs up to the middle rope - and holds his title up to the crowd, receiving the same mixed reaction of loud applause and dominating boos.

 

HELDDOWN~! 2/3/2005

 

DREK

WHY AM I NOT MAIN EVENTING THESE PAY-PER-VIEWS?! Why am I treated as an afterthought?! Calvin Szechstein wasn’t treated like this! Zack Malibu wasn’t treated like this! Crystal wasn’t treated like this! Why am I the unfortunate one?! Why am I forced to HIDE in the midcard while Axel gets MY attention?! AND MY MAIN EVENT SLOTS?!

 

Suddenly, in the middle of Drek Stone’s diatribe, OAOAST Chairman Bill Watts appears on the ever-impressive AngleTron!

 

WATTS

Mr. Stone, hold on one second. As much as I may disagree with it, I certainly can understand your outrage. As the Heavyweight Champion of the OAOAST, it isn’t quite right that you’ve been shunted out of the Main Event slot the past two months. In fact, it’s downright reprehensible that something so awful has happened to you. So I’m here to make it all better. I’m here to make my Heavyweight Champion happy.

 

DREK

Oh yeah? Well, how do you propose to do that?

 

WATTS

Well, hold on a second. Let me get to that. Drek Stone, you will be pleased to know that, as of now, I have already decided your opponent for Zero Hour. And let me tell you, it’s going to be someone that I think you’re somewhat familiar with. It’s someone that, many feel, should have been given this opportunity long ago. Someone who, at AnglePalooza, really proved that he’s ready to be given such a shot. Someone who held the Heavyweight Title before. Someone who many feel shouldn’t have lost the title in the first place.

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

WATTS

Keep in mind, Mr. Stone, Zero Hour is going to be taking place in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Which just so happens to be the hometown of this impressive superstar.

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

CABOOSE

Oh no.

 

WATTS

Now, without any further ado, let me introduce you to your opponent at Zero Hour. Enjoy.

 

CUE: “Black”

 

“YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

 

DREK

:o

 

Once Hoff slides into the ring, he immediately stands up to Drek Stone and the two men stare at each other face-to-face. The buzz in the arena immediately starts to soar as Drek and Hoff have their eyes locked with one another. No strangers to each other, neither man wants to blink.

 

So all they can do is stare.

 

Stare.

 

ZERO HOUR 2005

MINNEAPOLIS, MN

 

Hoff finally manages to get up! He starts to turn around slowly, and Drek jumps up for a huricarana!

 

NO!

 

Hoff catches him into a powerbomb position!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! OH NO!!

 

Drek tries kicking his legs excitedly to get out of the predicament, but Hoff tightens his grip on the champ’s lower body. He then starts sprinting around the ring, trying to throw off Drek Stone’s sense of balance.

 

COACH

Could Hoff REALLY be going for what I think he is?!

 

After a few moments of running, Hoff stops in the center of the ring.

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

Screaming loudly, Hoff finally swings his opponent off his shoulders. As Drek goes hurtling down, Hoff catches him -- AND SPIKES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A BRUTAL SPINEBUSTER!!

 

COLE

H-BOMB!! HOFF HIT THE H-BOMB ON DREK STONE!!

 

COACH

We haven’t seen that move in MONTHS!

 

Drek Stone hits the mat lifelessly, and Hoff immediately hooks the leg for the pinfall. The referee drops down for the count!

 

CABOOSE

NO! NO! DREK, KICK OUT! PLEASE KICK OUT!

 

 

 

ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

 

 

 

TWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

 

 

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

 

The Target Center absolutely ERUPTS once they hear that bell ring, with everyone instantly rising to their feet in celebration. “Black” starts to blast over the loudspeakers as Hoff rolls off Drek’s body and looks out to the crowd with a wide grin on his face.

 

COLE

YES! YES! HOFF DID IT!! HOFF HAS CAPTURED THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP ONCE AGAIN!!

 

CABOOSE

I…..I can’t believe it. Oh no, this can’t be happening!

 

The reaction in the building manages to get even louder once the referee actually hands the Heavyweight Belt to Hoff. With tears in his eyes, Hoff cradles the belt in his right hand and kisses the gold plating of the title excitedly.

 

CABOOSE

Not right before AngleMania. Oh, god. I can’t believe this is happening.

 

Buffer even has a smile on his face as he walks into the ring and picks up the microphone to make the final announcement.

 

BUFFER

Your winner……..AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT……wait, what?

 

Michael Buffer’s announcement is suddenly stopped by the referee, who seems to be whispering something in his ear. But this isn’t the referee who made the count. Oh, no. This is the referee that originally got hit in the head with that steel chair. The camera zooms up close to catch the conversation between the two men.

 

BUFFER

So wait, what are you trying to say here?

 

REFEREE #1

I’m saying Hoff needs to get disqualified for using that steel chair. I’m the designated referee, and I say this match ends in a disqualification. Announce it.

 

The crowd, catching a snippet of this conversation, begins getting absolutely livid as Buffer moves the microphone towards his mouth.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m being told there has been a change in plans. Since Hoff hit this referee with a steel chair before, he is now being officially disqualified for those actions! So your winner…..

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

BUFFER

..AND STILLLL THE OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION….

 

Suddenly, Buffer’s announcement is interrupted by the referee once again. But now, this is the one that actually made the Hoff pinfall earlier.

 

REFEREE #2

No. Michael, make the announcement I told you to make earlier.

 

REFEREE #1

Excuse me! I was the designated man for this contest, and I was taken out by Hoff swinging that steel chair! This may not be popular, but it’s the right decision! Hoff needs to be disqualified for those actions!

 

REFEREE #2

No way! Hoff did not hit you with that steel chair intentionally! I was still here to make the three count, and Hoff won the title fair and square. Buffer, announce it the way it should be.

 

Referee #2 walks over to Hoff and raises his right hand, receiving a massive positive reaction in return.

 

REFEREE #1

Don’t you dare. I told you how to announce this ending!

 

Referee #1 moves over to Drek Stone, who is now leaning against a nearby corner, sucking in air as quickly as possible. The official raises Drek’s hand, this time getting a huge amount of jeers for doing so!

 

CABOOSE

Well, I know which way I would decide this thing.

 

COLE

There are two opposing viewpoints here -- but, in a way, both of them are actually right. How could this be decided?

 

The two referees raise the combatants’ respective hands once again, with the fan reactions altering between cheers and jeers. After a few seconds of that…

 

“Vertigo” begins to blast over the loudspeakers, as Josie steps out through the curtains with a disappointed frown on her face. Standing at the top of the ramp with a microphone, she doesn’t waste any time walking down to the ring, instead making her announcement from the rampway.

 

JOSIE

Is it impossible for me to put on a show without some kind of problem always happening? Wow. I just finish getting an impressive win over Zack Malibu, and now this happens. Well, let’s see….both referees are justified in their viewpoint.

 

The HeldDown GM then points at Hoff, to address his problem first.

 

JOSIE

Hoff, you know I like you. But I can not overlook the fact that you used that steel chair to hit the referee. If he were conscious to make the decision, you would have been automatically disqualified and rightfully so. But now, Drek….

 

Josie then points at Drek Stone next.

 

JOSIE

Let’s be straight up with each other. You just got your shoulders pinned down for the three count by that man over there. Going by the rulebook, he probably should be disqualified, but I simply can not look past the fact that he still got a pinfall over you. Like I said earlier, each referee is justified in thinking the way they do. So, I have come to a quick decision. And this decision will be final.

 

She takes a quick sigh before continuing.

 

JOSIE

Since there is no clear-cut winner at this point, I am ordering this match to CONTINUE! With the original referee.

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

As Drek gets ready to slap on the Figure Four, he suddenly stops when he spots Axel running down the ramp and stomping into the ring.

 

COLE

What in the hell is Axel doing here?!

 

Drek releases the hold and immediately swings at Axel, but gets a solid hand clamped around his throat instead. Before Drek can really struggle out of it, the Dark One picks him up into a burning hammer position --

 

 

-- AND DRIVES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE AXEL SLAM!!

 

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Without hesitation, Buffer knows the right decision in this case. No one in the building even really needs to guess what that bell actually meant.

 

BUFFER

WINNER OF THIS MATCH, AS A RESULT OF DISQUALIFICATION……AND STILLLLLLLLL OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION……..DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!!!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

They all know that Axel has just cost Hoff the chance to win the Heavyweight Title. Right after Axel drives Drek Stone into the mat with the Axel Slam, he sits on his chest and starts choking the Heavyweight Champion for dear life.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no. Axel has gone completely insane! Somebody get in there and help Drek Stone! Who cares if Crystal turned on Axel tonight?! THAT’S NOT DREK’S FAULT!

 

COACH

What do you care?! He just retained the Heavyweight Title!

 

Drek’s face actually starts to turn a slight shade of purple, as Axel once again tightens on the choke. However, the Dark One suddenly finds himself pulled off the mat and onto his feet by a very understandably angry Hoff. Hoff shoves Axel nearly halfway across the ring, but Axel moves back to the big man, and the two superstars stand face-to-face with one another.

 

HOFF

What in the hell do you think you are doing?! WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

 

Without warning, Axel suddenly picks Hoff up over his head -- and drops HIM to the mat with an Axel Slam as well!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

The crowd actually roars with shock upon seeing Axel turning on his own friend.

 

COACH

WHOA!!!

 

COLE

I can NOT believe Axel would turn on his own friend like that! Not only spiking him with an Axel Slam, but costing him the Heavyweight Title as well.

 

THE NEXT HELDDOWN~!

 

DREK

You KNOW it's true! At Zero Hour I went into a man's hometown. I went behind the enemy lines, and I BEAT the man, right in front of all his friends.

 

"BOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

"YOU SUCK"

"YOU SUCK"

"YOU SUCK"

"YOU SUCK"

 

DREK

I know you people can't possibly believe that anymore. But get it out of your system now, because when I beat Axel at Anglemania, on the greatest stage of all, NOBODY will ever be able to say it again.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

And when I....

 

"YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!"

 

COLE

Wait a minute, what's going on?

 

COACH

I don't know!!

 

CABOOSE

Is someone coming down the....

 

COLE

IT'S HOFF!! HOFF IS STORMING THE RING!!

 

The cameras cut to Hoff STOMPING down the aisle to a HUGE pop! If looks could kill, Drek Stone would be a dead man, as Hoff stares a dagger through his heart. Drek, meanwhile, backpedals, yelling for Hoff to "STAY BACK!!" Hoff makes it to the ring....and gets GRABBED by security!!

 

JOSIE

All right...let him go.

 

Security lets go of Hoff, who immediately slides into the ring! Hoff starts walking toward Drek Stone, but Josie stops him, grabbing his arm and pulling him away.

 

JOSIE

Whoa, whoa there killer.

 

Josie steps between the FURIOUS Hoff and the slightly unsettled champ, pushing them apart.

 

JOSIE

All right. Now that we're all here, I have an announcement to make. As far as Zero Hour is concerned...It would seem that there has been a slight problem. And it falls on me to correct what most everyone has called "a great injustice." So, myself, Mr. Watts, and the Board have discussed the matter, in hopes of finding the fairest resolution which would also please the fans. And so, I have a change to announce as it pertains to Anglemania. The proposed Drek Stone vs. Axel World Title match has been changed, to Drek Stone, versus Hoff.

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

 

CABOOSE

WHAT??!?

 

COLE

Oh, yeah!!

 

Drek's mouth drops in shock. Hoff, pleased, smiles and nods. Drek tries to plead his case, but Josie waves him off.

 

JOSIE

As I said, Drek Stone, versus Hoff....with the winner defending his title LATER THE SAME EVENING.....AGAINST AXEL.

 

COLE

UN-BELEIVABLE!!

 

COACH

I can't believe it!!

 

COLE

What an amazing turn of events!!!

 

COLE

What a mountain for Drek Stone to climb at Anglemania...

 

What an unbelievable announcement. Drek Stone in TWO title matches. Drek versus Hoff, the winner to face Axel, and it's all gonna happen at Anglemania IV!!

Edited by Tony149

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*ding ding ding ding ding*

 

The house lights go down...

 

CUE: "Black"

 

*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*

 

AND THE FANS GO WILD!! The entire crowd is on its feet as Hoff steps out from behind the curtain!! The big man, decked out in new black tights with silver trim, looks over the crowd, turning his head slowly, soaking it all in...before raising his arms and shouting "COME ON," sending the fans ROARING into a frenzy!!

 

COLE

WOULD YOU LISTEN TO THIS OVATION?!?

 

COACH

This is amazing!!

 

Hoff walks down the aisle, businesslike, keeping his eyes focused on the ring. Almost unconsciously, Hoff slaps a few hands, but never shifts his focus. The big man hits the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope and hopping to his feet, climbing the near corner. One foot on the second rope,, the other on the top, Hoff takes another long look out at the fans, then raises one fist into the air to a massive pop.

 

COLE

The fans at the Trump Plaza are giving it up for their hero!!

 

Hoff closes his eyes and basks in the adulation, before climbing off the buckle. The fan favorite crosses the ring, heading to the far corner. Hoff climbs to the second rope, looks out, and ROARS out to the crowd, holding his arms out to the side and flexing, showing off what brought him to the dance.

 

COLE

An impressive physical specimen to be sure. Six foot five, two-hundred seventy-five pounds, but does he have enough to beat Drek tonight?

 

CABOOSE

No.

 

COACH

Yes!

 

CABOOSE

Like hell.

 

Hoff lowers his arms, then waves the crowd up again, encouraging them to keep screaming their lungs out. Hoff allows himself half a smile as he hops off the buckles, as his music fades into the background...

 

Woke Up This Morning

Got Yourself a Gun

Mama Always Said You'd Be

The Chosen One...

 

The lights dim as the familiar strains of A3 resonate throughout the massive Trump Plaza, and out through the curtain steps the World Heavyweight Champion, Drek Stone. Stone, wearing the belt around his waist, smiles cockily as he takes a few steps down to ringside, stopping to taunt the jeering fans. Spotting a "HOFF" sign, Drek points to it and shakes his head, then points to himself with both thumbs.

 

COLE

Y'know, many times we'll see Drek Stone adopt a more serious tone before a big match, but tonight he seems all smiles!

 

CABOOSE

It's mind games. Even if Drek were scared of Hoff -- which, let me assure you, he isn't -- but even if he was, he'd never show it. He's not gonna give Hoff an inch.

 

Drek continues his arrogant walk to the ring, smugly showing off to the fans before climbing the ring steps. As Hoff waits near a far corner, Drek steps into the ring, walking towards the ropes and pounding his chest twice before raising one arm into the air, sending a shower of glittering fireworks up from each corner.

 

CABOOSE

That man is a champion in every sense of the word.

 

COACH

For now, anyway.

 

CABOOSE

Don't you say that! When did you get so damn sassy all of a sudden! AGH!!

 

COLE

A little nervous about your big match later tonight, Caboose?

 

CABOOSE

I can handle it. I just hate Coachman that much.

 

COACH

HOLLA!

 

The referee for this contest, Charles Robinson, asks Drek for the OAOAST World Title belt, and Drek unstraps it...then holds it up to his face, checking the position of his finely-styled hair. Satisfied, Drek smugly hands the belt to the ref, and Robinson hands it to the timekeeper. As the two competitors find opposite corners, Michael Buffer steps into the ring.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. The following contest is our opening bout at ANGLE-MANIA FOUR! Scheduled for one fall, with no time limit, it is for the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship of the World!!

 

"YEAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"

 

COLE

I can't believe we're starting off tonight with a World Title match!!

 

CABOOSE

Believe it.

 

COACH

Anything can happen in the OAOAST!

 

Caboose eyes Coach angrily as Buffer continues with the intros.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, to my right, the challenger. Hailing from the wintry city of Minneapolis, Minnesota, he is a former World Champion. Appearing in his second Anglemania, he is known as "The Future." Known around the world for his unique blend of power and agility, as well as his devastating Future Shock maneuver, and weighing in tonight at two-hundred and seventy-five pounds....HE IS HOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hoff remains almost motionless, an icy glare fixed on the man across the ring. Drek simply smiles coolly.

 

BUFFER

And to my left, the champion. Hailing from Brooklyn, New York, and weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-five pounds, he is the master of the StoneCutter and known the world over for his technical prowess as well as his vicious streak. The OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD...."RRRRRRRR-ECKLESS" DRRRRR-EK STOOOOOOOOONE!!!!

 

The world champion turns and scales the near corner, posing with his arms out on the second rope. The fans jeer him damn near out of the building. With a laugh, Drek hops off of the buckle and turns to the center of the ring.

 

BUFFER

So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen.....LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUM-BLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!

 

The fans cheer as Buffer exits the ring, and Robinson calls both men together. The veteran referee explains the rules to both competitors, but they ignore him, once again staring each other down. The smirk is gone from Drek, and both men simply look into each other's eyes.

 

COLE

They know the rules. They've been here before. They put on a hell of a match last month, and many people feel Hoff was screwed in that contest.

 

CABOOSE

Aw, waah, waah, the time for crying is over! This is Hoff's shot! This is what he wanted, and now he's getting it!

 

COLE

Indeed, Hoff was given this match by our general manager, Josie Baker, after what went down at Zero Hour. And this could be the conclusion of what has become a very heated rivalry.

 

COACH

Absolutely it has, Mikey! It started off professional, two men wanting to me champion, but after two months of insults and sneak attacks it has become VERY personal!

 

CABOOSE

And at the same time, though, there's that professional level as well. Who's better? These guys both feel that they're two of the very best, perhaps THE best we have to offer. It's the most primal game of all, fellas. "Can you top this." I love it.

 

COLE

Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, this match will answer that question once and for all. We've got security around the ring as well as in the back to attempt to ensure there's no interference. We have to have a winner.

 

CABOOSE

We HAVE a winner, Michael, and it's Drek Stone.

 

Robinson finishes his directions and tries to get a sign of understanding from either man, but they're completely tuned out. Shrugging, Robinson realizes there's only one thing left to do, and he calls for the bell.

 

*ding ding ding*

 

The bell rings...and neither man gives an inch.

 

COLE

These two men are so proud...

 

CABOOSE

They have the right, Cole. The former champion and the current. They've earned that pride.

 

Drek steps toward Hoff, looking slightly upward at the challenger. Hoff remains unmoving.

 

COLE

Eerily similar to the scene last month, and if that is any indication, these two are gonna explode at any moment!

 

The fans buzz...but Drek and Hoff, simultaneously, take a few steps back. Hoff nods, and Drek smiles that same cocky half-smile we're so used to seeing. Both men roll out their necks, stretch their arms, and shake themselves loose.

 

COACH

I don't get it...

 

CABOOSE

Quel surprise. *I* get it. It's respect. Somewhere in there, although I can't say why, but these two have earned respect for each other. They'll never admit it, but I've been in their shoes, and it's there. And this time out they truly want to see who is the better wrestler.

 

Drek and Hoff begin to circle each other, champion and challenger both looking for an opportunity. Sensing none forthcoming, the two clash in the center of the ring, locking up to a HUGE pop!!

 

COLE

Here we go!

 

Hoff and Drek tie up collar-and-elbow, and Hoff pushes Drek back a step, but the champion slips free and grabs Hoff in a side headlock. Hoff, though, pushes Drek to the ropes, then shoots him off, standing up. Drek comes rocketing off the strands, running right into Hoff's shoulder...but he stays on his feet!

 

COACH

Whoa!

 

Hoff raises his eyebrows, and Drek gets right in his face, bragging and yelling at him!! Hoff, though, grabs Drek by the arm and whips him off again, sidestepping him as he comes off and sending him into the far side! Drek comes off the ropes again, and Hoff grabs his arm and hiptosses him over!! The fans cheer as Drek lands on his tailbone, slapping the mat as he gets to his feet!! Drek comes storming toward Hoff, yelling, and Hoff begs him on!!

 

COACH

Well, so much for the respect.

 

Hoff steps back as the champion keeps coming...then quickly grabs him and spins him around into the buckle! The fans cheer their hearts out as Hoff NAILS Drek with a right hand to the temple, and another, and another!! Drek reels, and Hoff whips him out of the corner! Drek is sent running across the ring, but puts on the brakes, grabbing the top rope with his hands and stopping his momentum! Drek turns...and walks into a HUGE right hand!! Drek stumbles back into the corner, and Hoff climbs up, straddling him on the second rope! Hoff points out to the cheering fans, before landing a blow on the top of Drek's head!

 

"ONE!"

 

Hoff punches again!!

 

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FIVE!"

"SIX!"

"SEVEN!"

"EIGHT!"

"NINE!"

 

Hoff pauses, holding his fist high in the air, before bringing it down!

 

"TEN!!"

 

The fans are elated as Hoff steps down off of the corner, whipping Drek cross-corner again. Drek hits back-first and stays there, and Hoff charges in with a clothesline-- but Drek throws up a back elbow in the nick of time! Drek's elbow catches the challenger in the jaw, and Hoff reels.

 

CABOOSE

All right champ, you got an opening, now take the big bastard apart!!

 

Drek comes out of the corner. Hoff turns around to face him, but the champion grabs him by the chin and snapmares him over. Hoff lands in a seated position on the mat, and Drek snaps a VICIOUS kick to his back, sending him down! With Hoff prone on his back, Drek sizes him up and drops a knee across his forehead! Hoff grabs his head as Drek makes the cover, but Hoff gets out at two!

 

COLE

Drek going for the early cover. Caboose, does kicking out of a lateral press like that really sap your energy?

 

CABOOSE

It does on a big roido like Hoff!

 

Drek picks Hoff up off the mat, then grapevines him and snaps him backward with a Russian leg sweep! Hoff lies on the mat, and Drek gets up. The champion takes a look at Hoff, then stomps him in the face, drawing massive heat from the crowd. Drek looks up at the jeering masses, and pounds his chest arrogantly, getting them even further riled up. Drek grabs Hoff, who is on hands and knees, by the hair, and twists his arm, wringing it and doubling the big man over. Hoff, though, uses his strength to twist his own arm back around and flip Drek over! The fans cheer as Drek lands hard on his back, allowing Hoff to capitalize with a legdrop...but it misses as Drek rolls out of the way! Hoff lands on his BUTT and falls backward, holding his leg. Drek quickly grabs the leg and applies a kneebar!! Hoff screams in pain as Drek wraps his legs around Hoff's right knee and pulls, trying to yank the joint out of socket!

 

COLE

Drek Stone quick to capitalize on Hoff's mistake!

 

Hoff uses his arms to pull himself backward, and grabs the bottom rope. Robinson starts the five-count, but Drek releases the hold at one and gets to his feet. The champion grabs Hoff by the hair and pulls him to a vertical base, then whips him into the ropes! Hoff comes back, and Drek catches him with a hiptoss-- NO! Hoff blocks it, refusing to be thrown over! Drek tries again, but Hoff won't budge! Hoff looks at the champ defiantly -- and Drek THUMBS HIM IN THE EYE!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOO"

 

Hoff clutches his eye with his free hand, allowing Drek to hiptoss the big man over. Hoff lands, but Drek keeps a hold of the arm, crossing his legs over it and applying a short arm scissors!!

 

COLE

So far, it looks like Drek's strategy isn't necessarily to focus on any one body part, but just to wear Hoff down and keep him grounded!

 

CABOOSE

That's a hell of a strategy. You can't spinebuster a guy when you're on the mat.

 

Drek twists Hoff's forearm, causing the big man to slap the mat in frustration! The ref checks for a tap, but Hoff waves him off. The big man rolls to one side...then rolls the other way, getting onto his knees! Drek keeps the armscissor applied...and Hoff picks him up!!

 

COACH

Whoa!!

 

The fans cheer, but unfortunately, Hoff can only keep Drek an inch off the mat. Hoff drops the champion, who tenaciously clings to the arm scissor!

 

CABOOSE

That's commitment, right there. Drek is not letting g-- OH NO!! LET GO, DREK!!

 

Hoff rears back and HOISTS Drek up on one arm! The fans go BANANA as Hoff lifts Drek over his shoulders and falls back, dropping the Reckless One to the mat! Both men lie on the canvas amidst the fans' applause!!

 

COLE

What a show of strength by Hoff! Brute power!!

 

CABOOSE

He's a brute, all right.

 

Both men get to their feet, but Hoff is a hair quicker and catches Drek with a big right hand! Another, and another-- but Drek stops the momentum with a knee lift to the gut! Hoff doubles over, and Drek grabs him by the neck and SNAPS him over with a swinging neckbreaker! Drek rolls over and climbs onto Hoff, making the cover, but Hoff gets out at two! Drek gets to his knees and crawls behind Hoff, lifting the challenger's head up and hooking in a rear chin lock.

 

CABOOSE

Drek Stone is the quicker man in there, but it works to his favor to keep the tempo slow and not let Hoff get these people riled up, or vice-versa.

 

COACH

Miami Vice Versa?

 

CABOOSE

.........

 

Drek tightens in the hold, but Hoff turns and fight to his knees. Drek keeps it applied as Hoff gets to one knee, and fires an elbow into Drek's gut! Hoff gets up, and fires off another, but before Hoff can do any more damage, Drek lets go of the hold and slips behind Hoff, grabbing his left arm and twisting it into a hammerlock! Hoff throws a wild back elbow, but Drek ducks...so Hoff spins behind Drek and counters the hold! Drek flails to break free, but Hoff twists the arm, causing Drek to yelp in pain! The fans are loving every minute of it! Drek, though, throws a back elbow, but Hoff ducks...and releases the hold, causing Drek's momentum to spin the champion around! Drek faces Hoff, who kicks him in the stomach, doubling him over, allowing Hoff to score with a DDT!!

 

COLE

Big-time DDT on the champion! Hoff goes for the cover!!

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

NO~, as Drek kicks out before Robinson counts three. Hoff gets to his feet and waves Drek up, sending a shrill cheer through the fans!

 

COACH

This could be just the opening Hoff needs!

 

Drek gets to his feet and turns around, right into a BIG right hand! Drek reels, and Hoff nails him again! The force sends Drek to the ropes, where Hoff whips him, but Drek reverses it and sends Hoff into the strands! Drek ducks as Hoff comes back off the ropes, but the big man LEAPFROGS the champ and lands behind him!! Drek stands upright, just in time for Hoff to trip him from behind, yanking his feet off of the mat! Drek lands HARD on his face, and the fans pop as Hoff grabs Drek's ankle!!

 

COLE

Look at this! Hoff going for an anklelock!

 

CABOOSE

Hoff's not a submission guy, but you gotta go with what works at Anglemania!

 

Hoff locks the hold in, but Drek pulls off a somersault that sends him UNDER Hoff, who goes flying off of Drek's ankle and into the ropes! Hoff comes back as Drek just barely gets to his feet, and the nimble champion meets him with a drop toe hold! Hoff hits the mat, and Drek quickly jumps on him, applying a side headlock!!

 

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

 

Drek cinches in on the headlock, and Robinson again checks if Hoff wants to give up. But the big man ignores the ref, instead pulling himself again to his knees! Hoff gets to one foot, then up to his full height, but Drek Stone keeps the hold applied! Hoff backs Drek into the ropes, and shoots him off, but Drek keeps the hold locked in and turns it into a bulldog!

 

COLE

Oh my! What a move by Drek Stone!

 

CABOOSE

Drek's tenacity is unmatched, Cole.

 

COLE

Here's the cover!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR-NO! Hoff kicks out!

 

COACH

Man, these two are all over each other!

 

Hoff powers out of the lateral press, and Drek gets back to his feet. Hoff gets up, and Drek meets him with a European uppercut that sends Hoff reeling into the corner! Drek follows Hoff in, and fires off a SIZZLING kinfedge chop!

 

"WOOOOOOOO!"

 

Drek chops Hoff again, and the woos turn to boos as Hoff's chest begins to glow beet red. Drek chops Hoff again, and again, and again, and the big man falls, leaning against the bottom ropes as Drek begins to stomp away. The fans are irate as Stone lays in a rapid series of boots to their hero, ending with one sharp stomp before turning to the fans and pounding his chest again!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

 

Drek thumps his chest...and meanwhile, Hoff uses the ropes to pull himself up! Drek turns around...RIGHT INTO A CLOTHESLINE! Drek falls, quickly gets up, and gets run over again! Drek is up a third time, and Hoff backs him into the nearby corner before whipping him across the ring!! Drek hits the opposite buckle HARD, and Hoff turns to face him, holding one finger in the air!!

 

COACH

Stinger Splash time!! Drek's riding Splash Mountain! It's a cold splash of water, and--

 

CABOOSE

WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!

 

Hoff charges to the corner...and SQUASHES Drek with the Stinger Splash! The fans are going crazy as Hoff steps out of the corner, allowing Drek to stumble out and crumple to the canvas! Hoff turns him over and hooks the far leg!

 

ONE!!

 

TWO!!

 

KICKOUT!! Drek Stone gets the shoulder up in time! Hoff gets off of Drek and turns to the crowd, pumping his fist and riling them up. The fans are cheering as Hoff pulls Drek to his feet and grabs him around the waist, then flips him over with a side belly-to-belly suplex!! Drek's back arches as he hits the canvas, and Hoff pops back to his feet!!

 

"HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF"

 

Hoff bends down and pulls the champ up by his hair, then grabs Drek around the waist again, this time flipping him over with a gutwrench suplex!! Hoff gets back to his feet again, and shouts "COME ON!" to the crowd, who go bonkers for it!

 

CABOOSE

Stupid PEOPLE!!

 

COLE

They are loving this!!

 

Hoff pulls Drek again up by the hair (prompting a warning from Robinson, which goes ignored), and spins him around so the champ's back faces the big man. Hoff grabs Drek from behind, hooking his head under Drek's arm, and lifts him for a back suplex, but Drek flips over and lands on his feet! Drek pushes Hoff into the ropes and attempts a rollup, but Hoff hangs onto the top strand! Drek rolls backwards, and Hoff turns, running at Drek when he gets to his feet! Hoff charges with a clothesline, but Drek ducks it! Hoff spins around and gets kicked in the gut, which doubles the big man over! Drek grabs Hoff by the hair and yanks him into a front face lock! The fans buzz as Drek slashes his throat!!

 

CABOOSE

STONECUTTER! YES! DO IT DREK!!

 

COLE

Drek has Hoff hooked!!

 

Drek lifts Hoff for the StoneCutter...but Hoff BLOCKS it! Hoff hooks his leg around Stone's, stopping the momentum, and then hits Drek out of nowhere with a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! The bridge! The COUNT!

 

ONE!!

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

THR-NO!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh, man, thank Heaven.

 

Champion and challenger race to their feet, and the challenger is up first! He throws a right hand, but Drek blocks it and nails Hoff with a fist of his own! Drek throws another punch, but Hoff blocks it this time and fires off a kick to Drek's midsection! Drek blocks the kick, catching Hoff's foot...and Hoff hits the ENZIGURI!!

 

COACH

HOFFZIGURI OMG~!

 

COLE

Hoff with that big back brain kick out of NOWHERE!!

 

The fans are SCREAMING as both men lie spent on the mat...and get even LOUDER as Hoff pops back to his feet!! Hoff looks out at the crowd...and slashes his arms to a MASSIVE ovation!!

 

COLE

YES! Hoff looking to end it here!!

 

CABOOSE

No, no, NO!! Drek, get up!!

 

Drek lifts his head slightly, spying Hoff, but then falls back to the canvas. Hoff looks back at Drek...then POINTS TO THE CORNER!! The fans go INSANE!!

 

CABOOSE

NO, not the damn elbow!!

 

COLE

Hoff's big elbow off the top! If he hits this it has GOT to be over!!

 

Drek stirs slightly, and tries to pull himself up as Hoff heads to the outside. Drek rolls onto his back as Hoff climbs up the strands. The big man steadies himself on the top rope, then rises up to his full height. Hoff looks down at Drek...sizing the distance...and leaps off with his beautiful flying elbow.

 

And Drek Stone ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! The fans jeer as Hoff hits empty canvas, clutching at his right arm. Drek quickly scampers to his feet, then darts to where Hoff has landed and turns him onto his back. Drek grabs the right leg of Hoff and grapevines it, twisting around it before hooking both his legs in the FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!!! The move gets a pop from the fans, who then proceed to drown out the building in jeers.

 

COACH

Drek Stone may have been playing possum!

 

COLE

Drek rolled out of harm's way and avoided the big elbow, then POUNCED on Hoff with the Figure Four!

 

CABOOSE

IT'S ALL OVER!! LOWER THE CONFETTI AND THE BALLOONS!!

 

Drek pumps his hips, laughing in sick delight as Hoff screams in pain! Hoff tries to pry his legs free, but it's no use, as the hold is masterfully applied! Robinson checks to see if Hoff wants to throw in the towel, but the big man frantically shakes his head no! The fans are cheering and stomping now, trying to will the big man free, but Drek leans back with the hips and the pain sends Hoff's shoulders to the mat!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NOT THREE, as Hoff sits back up. Hoff desperately tries to drag himself to the ropes, but the hold is locked in and Hoff is going nowhere. The big man's shoulders fall again...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO, and Hoff is back up, but in a bad way. The ref checks on Hoff, who grits his teeth and musters a no out of it! The fans are DYING for a reversal as Drek lays in the verbal assault as well!

 

DREK

"I'M BETTER THAN YOU, HOFF!! JUST GIVE UP! JUST ADMIT IT!! BWAHAHA!!"

 

Hoff, though, digs deep down and begins pumping his fist! The fans grow louder, the noise swelling as Drek's eyes go white!

 

COACH

If Hoff can just turn the hold, it'll be a whole other ball game!

 

Hoff leans to the left...leans...but Drek pumps his hips again, sending Hoff's shoulders back to the canvas! The ref counts one, but Hoff pops back up!! With the fans screaming, Hoff leans over...and REVERSES THE HOLD!! The fans EXPLODE as Drek frantically claws at the mat, before rolling into the ropes, causing the hold to be broken. Robinson helps both men get their feet untangled, and the two superstars lie prone on the mat.

 

COLE

Drek Stone and Hoff giving it their all here tonight!!

 

Both men use the ropes to climb to their feet, and both men see each other at the same time!! Both fire off a shot to the other's temple, and both men are sent reeling!! They come back to meet each other, and Drek AGAIN thumbs Hoff in the eye! The fans jeer, and Robinson issues Drek a warning, but the champion ignores him. Drek grabs Hoff's hair, and using both hands, runs Hoff's eyes across the top cable!! Drek throws Hoff down, and the big man kicks his feet, clutching at his eyes while Drek looks down, smiling sickly through heavy breathing.

 

COLE

Drek Stone is sadistic!

 

CABOOSE

He does what it takes, Cole. He does what it takes.

 

Hoff rolls onto his knees and elbows, still clutching his eyes. Drek pulls Hoff up the rest of the way, then grabs his hair from behind and runs him across the ring, ramming him skull-first into the nearby corner. Hoff bounces out, stumbling backwards...right into a full nelson from Drek, who flings him overhead with the RECKER!!

 

CABOOSE

THE RECKER~! DRAGON SUPLEX IN THE HOUSE!!

 

COLE

What a suplex from Drek!! Will it be enough!!

 

Drek holds onto the move, bridging into a pin!!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE

 

 

 

NO!!

 

Hoff gets the shoulder up in time!!

 

CABOOSE

NO!! HOW?!?

 

COLE

It's the will to win, Caboose!

 

CABOOSE

OH, SHOVE THE WILL TO WIN UP YOUR ASS!!

 

Hoff falls backwards onto his stomach, and Drek gets up, looking down at Hoff with disgust.

 

COACH

Wait, Caboose, did you just say "Dragon Suplex in the house?"

 

CABOOSE

Stuff it, wanker.

 

Drek picks Hoff up by the hair, yelling obscenities at the fan favorite Irish whipping him...but Hoff reverses!! Hoff poises for the SPINEBUSTER~, but Drek slides under Hoff's legs and pops up behind the big man!! Hoff turns around, and Drek grabs him by the head, looking to hurl him over the top rope-- but Hoff spins around and reverses it, sending Drek SAILING over the top! The fans cheer as Drek lands HARD on his neck and back!!

 

"HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF"

 

Hoff walks around the ring, pacing like a caged animal as the fans cheer his name. Hoff keeps his eyes on the outside, where Drek slowly gets back to his vertical base. Hoff heads over to the ropes, and as soon as Drek is back up, LAUNCHES himself over the top rope and FLATTENS Drek with a HUGE diving cross-body block!!

 

COLE

WHAT A MOVE!

 

COACH

Sometimes the high risks pay off!

 

Hoff hammers away at Drek with big rights as he kneels next to the champion, then gets off of him and grabs the protective mat at ringside!! With Robinson yelling at him, Hoff tears the mat away, revealing the hard concrete floor to a BIG pop!!

 

CABOOSE

Now come on, that's not necessary!!

 

Hoff raises his fist in the air, ROARING out to the fans at ringside! Drek gets to his hands and knees, allowing Hoff to grab him by the hair and yank him into a standing headscissor position!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh, no!

 

COACH

What could Hoff be gong for here?

 

COLE

Could be a powerbomb, maybe even that H-Bomb! That's the move Hoff pinned Drek with last month!!

 

Hoff bends down to grab Drek around the waist...but the champ drops to his knees, and hits Hoff with a LOW BLOW!! The fans boo the cowardly act as Drek, ever the opportunist, grabs the front of Hoff's tights and yanks him forward, sending Hoff's skull into the ringpost! With a sick *THUD*, Hoff falls to the floor!!

 

COLE

Aw come on! After that damn low blow, Hoff just got rammed into the steel post! That's not fair!

 

CABOOSE

And powerbombing a man on the outside is?!

 

Drek slowly gets to his feet, then looks over at the challenger. With another sick grin, Drek pulls Hoff up from behind using his hair and tights, and rolls the big man into the ring. Drek follows him in, and is greeter with a stern lecture from Charles Robinson. The champ brushes him off and turns to the fans, taunting. Meanwhile, Robinson checks on Hoff, who looks barely conscious.

 

COLE

Referee Charles Robinson making sure Hoff can go on with this contest...

 

CABOOSE

He can't!

 

COLE

I would imagine he will be able to....hey, what is Drek Stone doing now? Hey, come on!!

 

The fans start booing as Drek, seeing the official occupied, slinks over to a nearby corner and starts untying the top turnbuckle pad!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO"

 

"DREK STONE SUCKS!!"

"DREK STONE SUCKS!!"

"DREK STONE SUCKS!!"

 

Drek remains unfazed, getting the pad off just as Hoff starts to come around.

 

CABOOSE

Nice of Robinson to give Hoff that breather!

 

COLE

He was just doing his job!

 

CABOOSE

Not very well! I mean, Drek had time to get that pad off AND ditch the evidence!

 

Indeed, the pad has been thrown to the floor by Drek, and Robinson is none the wiser. Drek heads over to his foe, helping him to his feet, then grabbing his arm and whipping him into the corner but HOFF REVERSES and Drek goes FLYING into the bare steel! The fans go completely NUT as Drek falls like a sack of bricks, clutching his back!!

 

CABOOSE

:o

 

COLE

YES!! TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY!!

 

CABOOSE

NO!!!

 

Hoff looks at Drek...then at the corner, with a sick smile of his own, and the fans are smiling right back.

 

CABOOSE

OH, NO!!!

 

COACH

Oh-ho-HO YEAH!!

 

COLE

Hoff realizes what just happened and he KNOWS it's his chance to put Drek away!!

 

Hoff, almost arrogantly, struts to where Drek is on his hands and knees. Hoff smiles as he picks Drek up, then scoops him from behind, laying him out with a PENDULUM BACKBREAKER that sends a SCREAM of pain through the champion!!

 

CABOOSE

GOD, WHY?!?

 

COLE

Drek took the pad off! Drek is the cheater! Drek Stone brought this upon himself and now it's time to pay!!

 

Hoff looks down at Drek...and HEADS TO THE OUTSIDE!! The fans are going WILD as Hoff heads to the top rope once more!!

 

CABOOSE

NOT THIS AGAIN!!!

 

Hoff looks down at Drek, and takes a deep breath....then leaps off with the big elbow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND CONNECTS!!!

 

CABOOSE

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

COLE

HOFF WITH THE COVER!!

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!

 

The fans let an audible groan as the World Champion SOMEHOW gets a shoulder off the canvas. Hoff gets off of Drek, kneeling and grimacing in frustration.

 

COLE

Oh my God.

 

COACH

HOW?!

 

CABOOSE

YES! That's why the man is the champ!! God, I love him!! He will NEVER be beaten!! NEVER!!!

 

Hoff slowly gets up and paces around the ring. He looks down at Drek...then out to the fans, as he sticks his thumb out to the side. Hoff turns it up....and then DOWN to a MEGAPOP~!

 

CABOOSE

NO!! COME ON, CHAMP!! GET OUT OF THERE!!

 

Hoff nods as he walks over to the champion, still prone on the mat. Hoff picks Drek up by the hair, and whips him off the ropes, catches him, and delivers the SPINEB--NO!! Drek counters with an elbow to the top of Hoff's head, and the big man drops Drek!! Drek lands in front of Hoff, grabs the big man in a front face lock, lifts him up jumps, and HITS THE STONECUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!!!

 

CABOOSE

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! COVER HIM!!!

 

The fans are irate as Drek rolls Hoff over and drapes an arm over his chest!!

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!

 

CABOOSE

OH MY GOD!!

 

The fans EXPLODE as Drek falls backward with a pained look on his face!!

 

COLE

HOFF KICKED OUT OF THE STONECUTTER!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!

 

The crowd at the Trump Plaza is buzzing as both champion and challenger lie on the mat. Robinson begins to administer the ten-count, as both men valiantly try to find their feet.

 

COACH

It's all up for grabs now, playas!!

 

COLE

Whoever can get back up first will have the greatest advantage of the match! I mean, it'll be academic!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh, come on, Drek! COME ON, CHAMP!!

 

As Robinson gets to four, Hoff gets to his hands and knees. The crowd cheers, but by five, Drek has matched him, and at six the champ is on one knee. Robinson reaches seven, then stops as Drek stands up. The fans jeer as Drek walks over, slowly and painedly, to Hoff, who is on one knee. Drek grabs Hoff by the hair, but Hoff breaks free and grabs Drek....

 

SPINEBUSTER~!~!~!!!!

 

The roof officially comes off of the Trump Plaza as Hoff catches Hoff with a VICIOUS front spinebuster. Hoff falls onto his back, though, the move having taken the last bit of his strength.

 

"HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF"

 

COACH

DAYUM~!

 

COLE

All Hoff has to do is crawl over to Drek and cover him!! Come on, Hoff!

 

CABOOSE

NO!! Don't do it, Hoff! I'll PAY you!! Just don't do it!!

 

Robinson AGAIN administers a ten-count.

 

1...

 

2...

 

3...

 

4...and Hoff starts to stir!!

 

5! Hoff rolls onto his stomach, and Drek is still unmoving!!

 

CABOOSE

COME ON, DREK!! GET UP!! For all your fans, PLEASE don't let it end like this!!

 

6...and HOFF IS UP!!! The fans are ECSTATIC as Hoff stalks over to Drek's lifeless body, and picks him up! Hoff spins Drek around, and hooks him in a reverse face lock to a HUGE POP!!!

 

COLE

THIS IS IT!! FUTURE SHOCK, COMING UP!!

 

Hoff roars out to the crowd one more time before lifting Drek up...but somehow, someway, Drek slides over Hoff's back!! Drek lands behind the big man and pushes him forward...and HOFF'S HEAD HITS THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE!!

 

COLE

NO!!

 

Hoff's body falls limp as his skull bounces off the steel. His head comes to a rest on the exposed corner, then slips off and falls to the second buckle. The fans are beside themselves with anger as Drek, wearily, gets up to his feet and walks over to Hoff. With great effort, Drek pulls the dead weight of the challenger away from the corner, turns him around, and grabs his head...and DRIVES him down with the StoneCutter!!

 

COLE

Come on, not this way, not like this!!

 

CABOOSE

YES!!!

 

Drek turns Hoff over and falls on top of him, and Robinson counts!

 

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!

 

*ding ding ding ding ding*

 

CABOOSE

YES!!!!!

 

Drek rolls away from Hoff, and the big man falls to his hands and knees, clutching his head. Drek pops up, then falls to his knees, favoring his back. The champion uses the ropes to pull himself up, and Robinson hands him the OAOAST World Title as Buffer reads the decision from ringside.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest...

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOO"

 

BUFFER

And STILL OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World....

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

BUFFER

RRRRR-ECKLESS DRRRRR-EK STOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!

 

"Woke Up This Morning" plays as Robinson raises Drek's arm, and the Champ climbs the nearby corner, holding his belt high overhead, then setting it on his shoulder and pounding his chest. The fans boo him out of the building, but Drek doesn't seem to mind.

 

COLE

This is sickening.

 

CABOOSE

This is GREAT!

 

COLE

Drek Stone used every cheap trick there is to beat Hoff, because he KNEW he couldn't do it clean!

 

CABOOSE

Hey, cry me a river, Justin Timberlake. All I know is that the right man is champion.

 

COLE

The right man?!?

 

COACH

Come on, Boo-Boo, Hoff was robbed.

 

Drek looks at Hoff, still on his hands and knees on the canvas. Drek laughs, then exits the ring, holding the belt up high as he walks backwards down the ramp, reveling in his win.

 

CABOOSE

A win is a win, and a true champion knows the value of that.

 

COLE

Well, you think what you want, Caboose. I just hope Drek is real proud of himself when he looks in the mirror.

 

CABOOSE

He will be! He's the champion!!

 

COACH

For now.

 

CABOOSE

Aw, bollocks.

 

Drek's music fades out as the champ heads behind the curtain, leaving Hoff alone in the ring. The big man gets to his feet, and looks out across the audience, tears visible on his face. Slowly, the audience begins to applaud. And stand. And cheer.

 

COLE

You've got to appreciate what Hoff gave us tonight. One of the best performances of his young career.

 

CABOOSE

I'll give you that. If Drek wasn't so resourceful, we might have a new champion right now.

 

The ovation swells, and Hoff manages a smile as "Black" begins to play over the sound system. Hoff heads out of the ring and up the ramp, stopping at the top of the stage to turn back and salute the fans one more time.

 

COLE

A standing ovation for a true fan favorite.

 

COACH

Amen, playa. Amen.

 

COLE

And what a way to kick off Anglemania! We've still got another title match tonight! Tag titles! Legends! The Joy of X! Grudge matches!!

 

CABOOSE

You're tellin' me!

 

COLE

Anglemania IV is in full effect!

Edited by NY Untouchable

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We cut to outside the arena just in time to see a long white limo pull up. A half dozen photographers storm it, jostling to get the best angle as the door opens…..

 

KILLINGS

Ah, Anglemania, the first step out of this hellhole. Come on Eddie; let’s go mingle before my match. I think the head of Miramax is waiting for us.

 

Prince pauses for a minute to allow the paparazzi to get their shots before pushing past them and heading for the arena, the photographers are right behind him, yelling for his attention.

 

COLE

Well, it looks like Prince Killings isn’t too concerned about the big test he faces later tonight against Brock Ausstin.

 

CABOOSE

His funeral.

 

COLE

This next match is the classic story of love, betrayal and revenge. Let’s take you back, and look at what is now Axel versus Crystal.

 

* AngleMania logo flashes over the screen *

 

COLE

A little over three months ago, one of the OAOAST’s most turbulent relationships began.

 

HeldDOWN~!, 1/6/05

“So you’re saying what, bury the hatchet? Act like nothing’s wrong? Act like I didn’t go completely insane and ruin any trust you may have had in me last year??

 

“No, of course not. I’m saying we can try and rebuild, but only if you want to.”

 

Axel takes a step back, and lowers his head, thinking about what to do next, what decision to make.

 

“Well of course I do. Alright then. Friends?”

 

Axel extends his hand, and Crystal looks down at it, before shaking it, to a large ovation from the crowd.

 

“What, you expect me to say ‘Yay! Let’s go for ice cream!’ now?”

 

“No, I just expect you to take a walk with me so we can have that conversation you want.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“Good.”

 

The two walk down the corridor, Axel with a half smile on his face, with Crystal returning the gesture.

 

COLE

It was clear that this friendship could conceivably turn into something else. And it did. Just two weeks later, Axel and Crystal began dating. Then, in the Lethal Rumble, a mistake led to things turning somewhat sour…

 

AnglePalooza, 1/30/05

Just as T-Bod is eliminated, Axel turns around… only to see Crystal running at him as a result of a Zack Malibu Irish Whip! So, Axel does the first thing that comes to his mind, he ducks, and Crystal jumps over him, and over the top rope to land on the apron!

 

COLE

Close call there…

 

Axel asks Crystal if she’s ok, to which she nods, and he turns around again… And RIGHT INTO SCHOOL’S OUT! Axel falls backwards, and into Crystal…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…which knocks her off of the apron, ELIMINATING HER!

 

COLE

Yes, while an accident, Crystal did not see it that way. After weeks of tension, it appeared that Crystal had forgiven Axel for eliminating her. At Zero Hour though, it was revealed that this was far from the truth…

 

Zero Hour, 1/27/05

 

Crystal plants a small kiss on the cheek of Axel, and begins to walk away, chair in hand. Axel begins to walk over to Cappa.

 

COLE

Well it looks as if...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...Until Crystal floors Axel with the chair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRIPLE C

 

CROWD

 

AXEL

 

EVERYONE

 

Crystal then throws the chair down and drags a lifeless Cappa onto the fallen body of Axel, as she wakes the referee up and he crawls over to make the count.

 

 

One.

 

 

 

Two.

 

 

 

 

Three.

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

Yes, Crystal had turned on Axel, and in shocking fashion. Crystal started to torment Axel, with The Dark One being unable to respond, due to the love he still felt for her. This all changed two weeks ago on HeldDown, however, when her torment became too much…

 

HeldDown, 3/24/05

 

Crystal slaps Axel just like AJ Flaire did earlier! Axel turns his head to accommodate the blow, with the crowd begging Axel to respond. Axel lowers his head away from Crystal, and holds the side of his face. Axel slowly lifts his head…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…and he’s smiling.

 

COACH

Uh-oh Spaghettios!

 

The crowd see the smile, and all go up as one, in anticipation of what is going to happen. Crystal, meanwhile, has no clue of this latest development.

 

COLE

What the hell is going to... OH!

 

Axel turns around… AND GRABS CRYSTAL BY THE HAIR!

 

“YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

 

am4-crystalvsaxel.jpg

 

COLE

Now, unfortunately for The Dark One, Gunner Sharps then returned and foiled his opportunity to get his revenge. But tonight at AngleMania Four, he has his chance, and not only a chance to get revenge on Crystal, but later tonight to become the OAOAST Champion.

 

CABOOSE

Ah bullcrap, Crystal is the one needing revenge, with Axel claiming to love Crystal, breaking her heart!!

 

COACH

I you may have slightly mixed that up.

 

The commentators fall into silence as distinct guitar riffs are heard throughout the arena. The crowd isn’t silent though, as they know exactly who it is.

 

I’ve exposed your lies baby

And underneath is no big surprise

Now it’s time for changing and cleansing everything

To forget your love

 

BOOM!

 

Crystal emerges from the leftover smoke from the pyro and stands just below the Angletron. Gunner Sharps is standing behind her with his arms cross, looking at the crowd with distain.

 

My plug in baby

Crucifies my enemies

When I’m tired of giving

My plug in baby

In unbroken virgin realities

Is tired of living

 

The duo makes their way down the long aisle, accompanied by boos and jeers the whole way.

 

Don’t confuse

Baby you’re gonna to lose your own game

Change me

Replace the envying

To forget you your love

 

“Hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, she weighs in at 150 lbs, the self proclaimed Crown Jewel of the OAOAST, accompanied by Gunner Sharps, she is Crystal!”

 

The heavy jeering suddenly turns into cheering as the music changes, and it isn’t because this crowd prefers Disturbed to Muse, that’s for sure.

 

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing

Broken your servant I kneel

It seems what's left of my human side

Is slowly changing in me

 

The pyro goes off for the second time in the last couple of minutes as Axel emerges from the curtain. He doesn’t seem very interested in the usual theatrics, as his pure intensity seems to be enough for the crowd to go wild tonight. The camera films his entrance from near the ring, and it’s quite a sight to see. The fans are clamouring to get to touch him, but he just walks on, staring a hole into Crystal.

 

Looking at my own reflection

When suddenly it changes

Violently it changes (oh no)

There is no turning back now

You've woken up the demon in me

 

And how true those lyrics seem tonight, and Crystal knows it. Axel gets in the ring and walks towards Crystal and Gunner. He stares at Crystal, and does the crucifix pose. Pyro explodes from the corners of the ring. Gunner jumps slightly in surprise as Crystal returns Axel’s venom stare.

 

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

 

“And her opponent, weighing in tonight at 255 lbs, he hails from Hobart, Tasmania, he is the Dark One and the number one contender for the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship, he is AXEL!”

 

Gunner pushes Axel back away from Crystal before the referee orders him out of the ring. He shouts some encouragement to Crystal, who’s hardly paying attention as her and Axel are in a staring contest.

 

COACH

Oh man, this is going to be, for lack of a better word, intense.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Crystal begins to yell trash at Axel from across the ring, getting closer and closer to him. She finally is face to face with him and continues to yell at him as Axel just stares. Finally, Crystal works herself up in such a frenzy that she gives a primal scream and slaps the hell out of Axel! Axel lifts his head and stares daggers at her.

 

CABOOSE

Maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to do…

 

Crystal realizes what she did and tries to beg off a bit, but Axel is having none of that! He takes her down with a hard right! Crystal gets up quickly only to get another one! She gets up again and Axel winds up for a big time clothesline, but luckily for her, Crystal ducks. She bounces off the ropes and tries for a flying crossbody when Axel turns around, but he catches her! He looks around at the cheering crowd and gives Crystal the ‘ol Fallaway Slam. Crystal powders before Axel can do anything else, much to the chagrin of the fans and Axel.

 

COLE

Even with all her threats and her ability, I don’t know if Crystal can do much to Axel tonight. If the rest of the match goes like this…

 

CABOOSE

Don’t be ridiculous! Axel will make a stupid mistake, and Crystal will capitalize, simple as that. Intelligence always wins over brawn. Just look at Drek Stone, he beat Hoff with brains!

 

Gunner goes over to Crystal and tries to calm her down. She does eventually and gets back to the apron, only to knocked off by Axel! She gives a death glare to the smirking Axel and tries to get on again, only to get knocked off again. Crystal gets on again and blocks a right hand from Axel and gives one of her own. With Axel momentarily dazed, she grabs his head for a stun gun, but Axel grabs her head at the same time and gives her a big time head BUTT! Crystal teeters and is knocked off again with a right hand from Axel! She gets up quickly and bangs the apron in frustration, yelling obscenities at Axel, the referee, taunting fans and just about anyone not named Gunner Sharps.

 

COACH

I think you may have under estimated Axel’s intelligence, ‘Boose.

 

CABOOSE

I’m sure it’s a temporary thing. It’ll wear off like your welcome.

 

The referee is counting Crystal out and tells her to get in, only to receive a middle finger by Gunner, who’s calming down Crystal. Axel’s had enough of this standing around crap and forearms Gunner from behind, knocking him down! He grabs Crystal by the hair and tosses her into the ring. She immediately scrambles to the corner and uses the ropes to get up. Axel squashes those efforts though and kicks her back down and stomps until the crowd is chanting along.

 

“One!”

“Two!”

“Three!”

“Four!”

“Five!”

“Six!”

“Seven!”

“Eight!”

“Nine!”

“Ten!”

 

The crowd roars as Axel finishes the last of his kicks. He pulls away at the demand of the referee and goes for Crystal again, but gets stopped by a kick in the midsection. Crystal fights her way out of the corner with forearms and whips Axel the same corner she was just in. Axel reverses though and Crystal is back in the corner! Axel levels her with a couple of retaliation forearms and whips Crystal into the opposite corner. She bounces right off from the velocity of it and walks into a BAAAAACKBODY drop! She gets up and Axel grabs her head in a front facelock and picks her up in a vertical suplex position, but doesn’t drop her right away. He keeps her up there for awhile and the longer he does, the louder the fans cheer at the move. The fans pop hard when he finally suplexes her!

 

COLE

A beautiful delayed suplex and a huge display of strength by Axel!

 

CABOOSE

A test of strength?!? Crystal is a buck fifty! Even Jeff Hardy could do that! You know, crack boy with the muscle mass of a starved supermodel?

 

COACH

Please don’t sue.

 

Axel doesn’t go for the pin because he obviously doesn’t want to end this one so soon. Would you? He picks up a writhing Crystal and whips her to the ropes. Crystal plays it smart and hangs on, taking a leave for the second time in the match.

 

“BOOO!”

 

Crystal holds her head and sneers at the booing crowd. Before Crystal can have a significant amount of rest, she is abruptly taken down by a baseball slide from the Dark One! He grabs her by the hair and just starts pounding, releasing all his frustrations from the past month courtesy of Crystal. Crystal scrambles backwards and tries to get away from Axel, but he’s having none of that! He rounds the corner and bumps right into Gunner, who Crystal has used as a shield.

 

COLE

Well, that seems a bit unfair.

 

Axel doesn’t seem to mind though, as just gives punches Gunner right in the face! Sharps stumbles back with surprise as Axel shoves him aside and goes for Crystal. He goes to grab her, but she disrupts that with a hard kick to the knee! It’s enough to slow Axel down and Crystal takes advantage by taking refuge in the ring. Axel rolls in after her. Crystal runs towards him to go for who the fuck knows what but is taken down with a big boot! Crystal holds her jaw and struggles to get up while Axel runs the ropes. A recovered Gunner trips him up though, and Axel turns around to give some choice words to his former friend. With his back turned towards her, Crystal sneaks up on Axel and clips Axel in the right knee, the one she just kicked a minute ago.

 

COLE

Axel made the mistake of turning his back on Crystal.

 

CABOOSE

Thank you Captain Obvious! He was going to make a mistake sooner or later. Of course the highly intelligent Crystal would capitalize!

 

COACH

Hey, do you think Axel’s going to end up like that stagehand on this past HeldDown?

 

Crystal intends to make just that happen as she stomps on Axel’s right knee like there’s no tomorrow. The referee makes her back off a bit and she shoves him out of the way and stomps again. The referee more forcefully pushes her back this time. She gets in his face and yells at him to start calling the match down the middle and to stop being bias. Crystal continues her tirade at the flustered referee as Gunner not-so-subtly drags Axel to the corner and wraps his hurting knee around the post not once, but twice! Axel screams in pain and that gets the referee’s attention. He looks at the pained Axel and then looks at Gunner arguing with some diehard Axel fans. He yells at Gunner and Gunner holds his hands up in innocence. Crystal slips out of the ring and starts what Gunner ended by wrapping Axel’s leg around the post once again. She grabs his leg with both of her hands and puts pressure on the injured knee by putting one of her feet against the post and pulling as hard as she can. Axel screams in pain and the referee finally turns his attention from Gunner and counts for Crystal to break the hold. At four and a half (of course) she breaks it and smirks at the increasingly booing crowd as Axel holds his knee in pain.

 

COACH

Oh man, Crystal wasn’t kidding when she said Axel wouldn’t be able to walk after this match.

 

Crystal rolls in the ring and stands over Axel with a sick smile on her face. She steps on the injured leg and puts the pressure on by using the nearby ropes for leverage. The referee counts for her to break the hold and she does at four. Crystal gives no time for Axel to recover though as she goes right back to stomping on the knee. While Axel’s on his side holding his knee after Crystal lets up, she give grabs the lower part of his leg and wretches it unnaturally to the side while sitting on his upper leg. Axel pounds his fist in pain at this excruciating submission but quickly gets out of it clubbing Crystal in the side of the head. She stumbles off as Axel uses the ropes to get up with the fans cheering him on. He lumbers the where Crystal is only to get a low dropkick right in the kneecap by the Female Phenom.

 

COLE

A move like that could hyperextend your knee, just like that!

 

CABOOSE

There is NO way Axel will be able to walk after this, never mind wrestle again tonight against Drek!

 

COACH

Hey, it could be Hoff.

 

0CABOOSE

Were you watching our opening match?

 

COACH

I was getting my hair done.

 

CABOOSE

You’re bald.

 

COACH

 

Axel drops in an instant as Crystal dusts her hands off. She grabs Axel and drags him to the nearest corner. She perches up on the turnbuckle and looks around at the jeering crowd. Crystal smirks and gives the crowd the finger.

 

“CRYSTAL SUCKS!”

“CRYSTAL SUCKS!”

“CRYSTAL SUCKS!”

 

Crystal dismisses then with a flick of her hand a jumps off, landing on Axel’s knee with both of her feet.

 

COLE

Oh god, Axel’s knee could be shattered.

 

The referee crouches be Axel’s side and makes sure that he’s able to go on. Axel’s screams yes when the referee asks if he’s sure and shoves the concerned out of the way. He tries to get up on one leg, but Crystal has no mercy and kicks it as hard as she can. Axel goes down again and Crystal pounces and applies the Half Leg Boston Crab on the right leg. She cranks back as hard as she can while Axel screams in agony.

 

COACH

Man, this is a modified version of The Axel Grinder! Imagine the irony if Axel taps out to his old submission move!

 

Axel tries desperately to crawl to the ropes, but it’s just not happening, as Crystal arches back further, putting more pressure on the knee of The Dark One.

 

COLE

Drek Stone must be loving this guys, you just know he’s sitting in the back watching this contest and hoping that Crystal injures Axel indefinitely.

 

CABOOSE

Nonsense! Drek Stone would be disappointed that he can’t beat Axel down from one hundred percent to zero! Drek Stone would take on a healthy Axel any day of the week!

 

The crowd are trying to get Axel back into the contest, with Gunner Sharps trying to quieten Trump Plaza down. Axel balls his hand into a fist to help him break through the pain barrier, and suddenly gets a rush of energy, which helps him crawl to the edge of the ring… and grab the bottom rope! The referee is quick to begin the five count, with Crystal breaking the Single Leg Crab on four so that she can maximise Axel’s pain without getting disqualified. Axel continues to grasp the bottom rope after the hold is broken, causing Crystal to try and drag him back into the centre of the ring. The Female Phenom grabs a hold of Axel’s now injured leg, and begins to pull the Dark One away from the ropes. Axel uses his left leg to get to a vertical base, with Crystal holding onto the right, and not letting go anytime soon.

 

CABOOSE

Crystal just has to keep on the leg, its going to be damn hard for Axel to do any of his signature moves with one good leg.

 

Crystal continues to grip Axel’s bad leg, as Axel continues to balance on his healthy one. Crystal then tries to sweep Axel’s left leg from under him, but Axel scouts it, hopping on one leg to avoid contact. Crystal then begins to try and pull Axel’s knee out of its socket while Axel is still standing; causing Axel’s left knee to nearly buckle under the pain. But The Dark One regains his balance as his former beau taunts him while hyperextending his knee. Crystal continues to torment the limb, but is soon cut down when Axel launches himself into the air on one leg and connects with an enziguri kick to the side of her head!

 

COLE

Wow! Amazing athleticism by Axel!

 

The crowd respond favourably to the move, cheering on their new favourite son, all except for Gunner Sharps, who is none too pleased with the display. Crystal, gripping the side of her head, gets to her feet, but Axel is not too far behind, as he gets to one of his feet anyway, being unable to put hardly any weight on the right leg whatsoever. Crystal notices this and realises that she has a distinct advantage, thus taking the opportunity to taunt her opponent, yelling taunts at Axel, and verbally bashing him, much to the delight of Gunner. Axel takes exception to these comments, as he would, considering they are very personal and very scathing, so he decides to take action, and tries to walk over to Crystal, but finds that he can’t as he knee is, as we say Down Under, completely rooted at the moment. Crystal laughs in Axel’s face and kicks his left leg out from under him, causing him to go to ground again! The Female Phenom then drags Axel’s leg over to the ropes, resting his foot on the bottom rope and then standing on it, before jumping off of it and landing an elbow right to the knee joint, causing a yelp from Axel. Crystal then does this twice more, before the referee tells her to get out of the ropes.

 

COLE

Crystal had better obey the referee; she doesn’t want to get disqualified!

 

CABOOSE

Do you really think the ref would disqualify her? Come on, the referee loves her! So do the fans!

 

COACH

Nice to see I’m not the only one in complete denial about MAH BABY GIRL~!

 

Crystal argues with the referee, leaving Axel’s leg draped over the bottom rope. Gunner uses this to his advantage, wrapping Axel’s leg around the rope and delivering hard shots to the limp limb!

 

COACH

Haha, he said ‘limp’.

 

CABOOSE

Used to that, aren’t we?

 

Gunner stops his violence when he sees the referee turn around. Crystal smiles at her new enforcer, with the referee questioning the big man about his role in Axel’s injury. Gunner denies all involvement, and the referee, foolishly, believes him. Crystal drags Axel into the centre of the ring by his injured leg, and twists it around the left leg, placing her leg between the two, and locking in a Figure Four! Axel writhes in pain yet again, with the agony being almost too much for the Number One Contender!

 

CABOOSE

Come on guys, you have to give Crystal credit. The girl is doing exactly what she said she would do last Thursday night. She is destroying Axel’s knee!

 

COLE

You’re right Caboose, and in all seriousness, I think Axel has to consider his options right now. I mean, he’s wrestling in the Main Event this evening, and he can’t afford to go into that match with one good leg! Drek Stone will murder him! I don’t like to say it, but I think Axel may have to put his pride aside and just tap!

 

COACH

Axel isn’t going to do that no matter what we say Michael, he’s too proud…

 

CABOOSE

…and too stupid.

 

Axel screams in pain with his legs being twisted and tormented in the Figure Four. He has a momentary lapse of concentration because of the pain, and his shoulders go down! The referee counts!

 

ONE…

 

 

TWOOOOONO! Axel realises after the one count, and expends some more energy by lifting his shoulders off of the mat. He tries to turn the hold, but fails, letting his shoulders go down to the mat yet again!

 

ONE…

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! The Dark One lifts his shoulders off the mat again, and tries to turn Crystal, but his efforts are in vein, as Gunner Sharps has now positioned himself behind Crystal, and is providing her with extra leverage, and therefore more pain for Axel!

 

COLE

That’s not fair! Gunner is giving Crystal an unfair advantage dammit! Ref, stop that!

 

CABOOSE

Life isn’t fair Cole, and the referee can’t stop what he can’t see.

 

COACH

My, we have all the answers tonight don’t we?

 

CABOOSE

I should go on Millionaire.

 

Axel tries to tell the referee about Crystal’s cheating ways, but the pain is just too much for The Dark One, and it causes his shoulders to go down a third time, as the pain is excruciating…

 

ONE…

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

NO! Axel barely gets a shoulder up this time, and Gunner continues to pull back and provide even more leverage to Crystal! The referee asks Axel if he gives up once again, and Axel blatantly refuses, telling the referee to ‘FUCK OFF!’ The referee does this and looks over at Crystal, finally noticing that Gunner is helping her! Gunner soon breaks his link with Crystal, but the referee has seen enough, and he gives Gunner his marching orders! Gunner protests wildly, but the referee won’t let up! The fans go crazy as Gunner gets thrown out!

 

COLE

Gunner is gone! The referee has thrown Gunner Sharps out!

 

CABOOSE

That isn’t fair! He did nothing wrong!

 

The ref soon turns his attention to Crystal and tells her that due to Gunner’s help, she has to break the hold. Crystal argues, so the referee gives her the mandatory five count, which gives her no choice but to break the hold. She does so, and then proceeds to argue with the referee, while her opponent clutches at his knee. The Female Phenom then sees the weakened state of The Dark One, and the fact that Gunner is no longer at ringside doesn’t seem to worry her as much. Crystal grabs the leg of Axel again and tries to apply another Figure Four, but Axel uses his other leg to push Crystal away. Axel then tries to get to his feet, and makes it to his knees, but Crystal is there to land a hard forearm to the side of his head. This doesn’t seem to deter Axel much though, as he still manages to make it to one leg, still being unable to put any weight on his injured one. Crystal backs up against the ropes and tries to take Axel down with a clothesline, but Axel manages to duck under. Crystal comes off of the ropes…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…And Axel hits a one-legged SPINEEEEEEBUSTAHHHHHH~!

 

COLE

AXEL JUST HIT THE SPINEBUSTER! BOTH SUPERSTARS ARE DOWN!

 

DUSTY

HE BE ‘BUSTERIN, TONY!

 

COACH

OMG Hoff sux lol!

 

CABOOSE

Well, at least you aren’t trying to deny your lack of intelligence anymore.

 

The force of the Spinebuster leaves Crystal lifeless on the mat, and landing on his bad knee causes Axel to go down as well, grasping his bad knee in agony. The referee begins his mandatory ten count, with both superstars not looking likely to get up anytime soon.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

Crystal is starting to stir…

 

 

FIVE!

 

 

 

SIX!

 

 

 

SEVEN!

 

 

Axel is up to a knee…

 

 

EIGHT!

 

 

 

NI…The referee stops just before nine, with Crystal getting to her feet and Axel getting to his working leg. He tries to shake the cobwebs out of his other leg, but still can’t seem to put hardly any weight on it, forcing The Dark One to almost hop toward Crystal. Crystal saves Axel the effort and goes toward him, attempting a right hand, only to have it blocked, and for Axel to come back with a forearm of his own. Crystal tries the same process, but it gains the same result, a stiff forearm to the side of The Female Phenom’s head. Axel grabs Crystal’s left hand and tries to send her for an Irish whip, but Crystal tries to reverse, which just isn’t happening, as Axel’s leg is still rooted. Axel pulls Crystal toward him instead, and connects with a short arm clothesline that nearly knocks the Female Phenom out of her boots!

 

COACH

Wow, what a shot by Axel, he looks positively pissed off!

 

COLE

Well can you blame him? He’s been beat down by two people for the last ten minutes, and he hasn’t been able to really get his hands on Crystal until now!

 

Axel looks around at the crowd, who sense that the mood of the match is about to change. The look on Axel’s face represents the old Axel, a look of total anger and hatred toward his opponent and former girlfriend. He tries to take a step forward, but is constricted by his injured knee. Frustrated by this, Axel shakes his leg to try and get it working again, and then forcefully stomps the mat, causing him to grimace in pain. This seems to have helped somehow, as he can now put some weight on it, at least more than before. Crystal, in the meantime, is at her feet, behind Axel, who is still trying to get feeling back in his leg. She runs at him and tries to take him down from behind with the dreaded DOUBLE AXE HANDLE~!~! But Axel doesn’t seem to be effected, as he turns around and stares a hole in Crystal!

 

COACH

Someone’s in trouble!

 

COLE

Axel has got his second wind!

 

CABOOSE

Go back to the leg you stupid woman!

 

The two former lovers stare each other down, with the fear evident in Crystal’s face. Axel yells at Crystal something to the effect of ‘NOW ITS TIME FOR REVENGE, BITCH!’, which causes Crystal to assess her options and decide that its best to try and fight out of it. She tries a right hand, but just like before it’s blocked, and here comes Axel. One right hand, no two, no three, four, five, six, Crystal is up against the ropes with nowhere to go. Axel grabs Crystal by the hair and places her in a front face lock, before picking her up for a one and a half legged suplex, and dropping her down in a brainbuster!

 

COACH

Man, Crystal was just dropped right on her head!

 

Axel looks at the fallen Female Phenom, and decides, perhaps foolishly, that now is the time to take a chance. The Dark One hobbles over to the corner and steps outside the ring onto the apron, before beginning a slow assent to the top rope, being forced to put all his weight onto his bad leg, which slows the process down considerably. He finally makes it to the top rope, but by this time Crystal is already up, and she takes advantage of Axel’s weakened state, climbing up the ropes and landing a forearm to the side of his head, and temporarily incapacitating The Dark One. Crystal looks to be trying a top rope Superplex, but Axel will have none of it, pushing The Female Phenom to the mat below, and regaining his composure.

 

COLE

Axel is going to take a chance!

 

Axel launches himself off of the top rope with one good leg…

 

 

 

…and CONNECTS WITH A FROG SPLASH!

 

COACH

My god, we haven’t seen that in over a year!

 

Axel hooks the leg of Crystal as the referee (and crowd) makes the count…

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO!!! Crystal gets a shoulder up!!!

 

CABOOSE

And THAT is how she won the OAOAST Championship last year. Resilience.

 

COLE

You hated her last year!

 

CABOOSE

Well, now she’s alright by me.

 

Axel can’t believe that Crystal kicked out of the pinfall at first, but soon realises that to win the match he is going to have to keep on the Female Phenom. He struggles to his feet, still heavily favouring his right leg, and brings Crystal up with him. The Dark One connects with another hard forearm to the side of Crystal’s head for good measure, and sends her for an Irish Whip once again. Crystal comes off of the ropes, Axel goes for a Spinebuster… but Crystal has it scouted, breaking his grasp and slipping behind her former lover. Crystal goes down to one leg on the landing, and with the referee in front of Axel, lands a LOW BLOW!

 

COLE

Crystal went south of the border!

 

COACH

I like it down there!

 

CABOOSE

I’m sure you do.

 

Axel falls to a crumpled heap on the ground, with the crowd voicing its disdain for The Female Phenom’s act. She shrugs it off and grabs Axel by the hair, lifting him up to his feet, Crystal then applies a rear waist lock, sets Axel up, and takes him over for a release German Suplex!

 

CABOOSE

Go on Michael, say it! Beautiful, textbook, amazing suplex by Crystal!

 

COLE

You just said it for me.

 

CABOOSE

Well can’t you say it again?

 

COLE

No.

 

The Female Phenom takes a moment to regain her composure, sees Axel down on the mat, and decides to take a chance just like he did earlier. She climbs to the second rope, salutes the fans (eliciting yet another boo)…

 

 

…AND DELIVERS DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH TO AXEL!

 

COLE

Wow! Crystal just hit the double jump Moonsault!

 

COACH

That’s her move!

 

CABOOSE

Thank you Tony.

 

The Female Phenom stays on Axel and hooks the leg!

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO!!! Axel kicks out, and Crystal can’t believe it!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

That’s two years in a row that Axel has kicked out of the Diamond in the Rough!

 

CABOOSE

But remember Michael, Crystal won last year!

 

Crystal, LIVID at the ref, argues the call, giving Axel time to regain his bearings. The Female Phenom then picks her opponent to his feet, batters him with two forearms, and whips him to the ropes. Axel reverses the whip and sends Crystal into the ropes instead! Crystal comes off…

 

 

 

…and HITS A SPEAR- NO! Axel leapfrogs over! Crystal comes off of the other side…

 

 

 

…AND AXEL HITS A SPINEBUSTER – NO! Crystal fights out of it, and falls behind Axel! Axel turns around…

 

 

..and INTO A HURRICANRANA! Crystal rolls through AND APPLIES THE CRYSTALLING!

 

COLE

Wow! Incredible ring presence by Crystal to roll through! The Crystalling is locked in!

 

CABOOSE

Yes! Tap you miserable son of a bitch! Tap to her greatness!

 

Axel hollers in discomfort and tries to reach for the ropes, but it seems that he is too far away! The pain etched on his face, Axel begins to crawl toward the ropes!

 

COLE

Axel won’t tap out! He is trying to make it to the ropes!

 

COACH

He’s too far away!

 

Axel crawls…

 

 

Crawls…

 

 

Crystal tries to stay put, but Axel is too strong, and he keeps crawling…

 

 

…towards…

 

 

 

…the…

 

 

…ropes…

 

 

NO! Crystal takes him back to the middle of the ring, and arches back!

 

CABOOSE

Yes! YES! He’s trapped! She’ll keep it on him all night if she has to!

 

Axel screams in pain, and looks to be about to tap out… but he stops at the last second, and starts crawling toward the ropes again!

 

COLE

He won’t give up! He’ll have to pass out before he gives up!

 

COACH

Well that might just be the case! Axel may pass out from the pain here!

 

Axel inches toward the ropes once again, but stops, due to the pain overcoming his back. He tries to inch closer, but find that he almost has no energy left! His head soon falls to the ground, and it appears as if he has lost consciousness!

 

COLE

Wow, Axel could be out! The referee’s checking!

 

The referee raises Axel’s arm once, and lets go…

 

 

 

 

…IT DROPS!

 

 

CABOOSE

Ha-ha! I knew he couldn’t stay conscious for long, Crystal won the OAOAST Title with this very move, you know guys!

 

The referee raises Axel’s arm a second time, and lets go…

 

 

 

 

 

…IT DROPS AGAIN!

 

COLE

One more and this match is over!

 

COACH

How is this going to affect Axel’s performance in the Main Event tonight?

 

COLE

Well with the medical facilities that we have here at wonderful Trump Plaza, I’d say he’ll be ready in two hours for his match.

 

CABOOSE

He’s out guys!

 

The referee raises Axel’s arm a third and final time, lets go of it…

 

 

 

 

…it’s dropping…

 

 

 

…NO! Its stays in the air!

 

CABOOSE

WHAT?

 

COLE

How in the hell did he do that?

 

Axel, now seemingly with a rush of adrenaline, goes about the arduous task of getting to the ropes once again. He crawls every so slowly to the cable, with the fans cheering him on every inch of the way. The Dark One reaches, but he is still a few inches away. Crystal tries her lil’ heart out to try and get her former beau to the middle of the ring a second time, but Axel’s adrenaline rush is preventing him from doing so. He inches closer…

 

 

…closer…

 

 

 

…until…

 

 

 

…HE GETS TO THE ROPES!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHH!!”

 

COLE

I can’t believe it!

 

CABOOSE

No! He must have tapped! Passed out! Something!

 

Crystal won’t believe what the referee is telling her, and refuses to break the hold at first, but then obliges. She then screams at the referee to ring the bell, because Axel must have tapped out!

 

CABOOSE

She is in as much shock as we all are.

 

COACH

‘She’ is the cat’s mother.

 

CABOOSE

Don’t ever question my grammar again.

 

Crystal continues to argue with the referee, wasting precious little time. She then grabs Axel and pulls him over near the turnbuckles, before mounting him, and laying in right hands while verbally degrading The Dark One!

 

*SMACK*

 

CRYSTAL

YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME?

 

*SMACK*

 

HUH? YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!

 

*SMACK*

 

I NEVER LOVED YOU! I SCREWED YOU!

 

*SMACK*

 

AND NOW I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?

 

*SMACK*

 

*SMACK*

 

*SMACK*

 

Crystal continues to pound fist on skull time after time, and taunting her former lover. She gets off of Axel and goes over to the ropes, receiving a massive amount of boos from the Trump Plaza, who are disgusted with her acts. The Female Phenom gets to the second rope, and begins taunting them just like she did to Axel.

 

CRYSTAL

I NEVER NEEDED ANY OF YOU! I AM THE BEST WRESTLER ALIVE! I’M THE MOST POPULAR WRESTLER EVER IN THIS COMPANY! AND YOU PICKED ME OVER HIM? YOU ARE ALL WORTHLESS TO ME! NOW WATCH ME FINISH THIS BASTARD OFF!

 

Crystal steadies herself on the second rope, but unbeknownst to her…

 

 

..AXEL is getting UP!

 

COLE

Uh-oh!

 

COACH

You see, that’s the problem with moonsaults, you can’t see your opponent. Like John Cena.

 

COLE

Hey, remember that time you disappeared?

 

CABOOSE

Please do it again.

 

Crystal continues to taunt the crowd, before jumping onto the top rope, and coming off for the Diamond in the Rough…

 

 

 

…BUT AXEL CATCHES HER IN MID AIR!

 

COLE

Wow! AXEL’S GOT CRYSTAL!

 

Axel slides Crystal into position...

 

 

 

 

DARK ROYALTYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

COACH

OUT OF NOWHERE!

 

The referee counts!

 

 

CABOOSE

NO!

 

ONEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

CABOOSE

NO!

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

 

 

COLE

YES! YES! YES! AXEL HAS HIS REVENGE!

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

 

“Down with the Sickness” starts up once again as the crowd goes positively APESHIT for the man who just won this match. Axel stays on the ground for a moment, regaining his breath, before struggling to his feet, his back and knee obviously aggravating him quite a bit.

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXEEEEEEEEEEELLL!!!

 

 

COACH

Well Axel has won this match, and he will take on Drek Stone for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship later tonight in our Main Event! What a match that will be!

 

COLE

My god what a match we just witnessed, Axel and Crystal gave us everything they had, and now axel has to do it all again in a matter of hours! How are Axel and Drek going to be able to compete after the matches that they have already wrestled?

 

CABOOSE

Axel is more spent than Drek; Drek has this in the bag!

 

Axel steps out of the ring very gingerly, still favouring his right leg. He looks straight into the camera before walking out and says…

 

AXEL

Drek… I’m coming for you!

 

COLE

Axel delivering a message to his next opponent! Wow, two matches in and we've already seen some fantastic action. Our next match involves two men who have been feuding for what seems like an internity. Now the two will settle their differences inside a steel cage.

Edited by Tony149

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The house lights dim and ominous music begins to play over the PA system as the steel cage begins to lower from the rafters. Bluish white spotlights flash upon the steel structure as it moves closer and closer to the ring.

 

am-PANTHERVSPR.jpg

 

COLE

And ladies and gentlemen, it is just about time for the Steel Cage Match! "Rage In The Cage"! Panther vs Tha Puerto Rican, and fans, this thing has become so personal since it began a couple of months ago! It all started back in January with PR's steel chair assault on Panther! Tensions between these two boiled over last month at Zero Hour in a one-on-one encounter that damn near turned into a full-scale riot! Fans, there is so much hatred between these two men! It has become so personal, and tonight--here on the grandest stage of them all--these two men will step inside that 16-foot high steel cage looking to destroy one another!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, and I can't wait for this one, Cole!

 

COLE

This one is gonna be a war!

 

By now, the cage is beginning to settle into place over the ring, at which point, the ominous music begins to die down. The camera pans the Atlantic City crowd, picking up signs such as "Panther is my hero", "HOFF 4 POPE", "PUSH TOM GORAN," and "PR SUX," as in the background, the bell sounds.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest at ANGLEMANIA FOUR is the "RAGE IN THE CAGE" STEEL CAGE MATCH and is scheduled for one fall! (crowd pops) This bout may be won by pinfall, submission, or by escaping the cage--either by going through the door or by climbing over the top of the cage and having BOTH FEET touch the floor. Your in-ring referee for this match is Earl Herbner. Your outside referee for this match is Nick Patrick.

 

The sharp opening chord of "Roc U" by the Young Gunz and Beanie Sigel brings the crowd to its feet as the live video feed cuts out, switching being replaced by a black and red radar grid, at the center of which appears a glowing red Panther's head after every other sonar revolution. After the fourth revolution, the radar fades away, leaving just the glowing Panther's head. All at once, the head zooms forward, and…

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!

 

…we're taken back out to the darkened arena, which is rocked by a HUUUUUUUUUUGE pyro blast. A thick cloud of smoke fills the arena as cameras cut to the entrance, zooming in close on it as the curtains that lead from the locker room slowly slide open. Then, the cymbals begin to clash, the first clash being accompanied by a bright red spotlight, which highlights the left side of the arena. After the second clash, another red spotlight kicks in, this one highlighting the right side of the arena. The third clash cues up a bright white spotlight, this one emitting from the entrance, highlighting Panther's silhouette! A roar of cheers comes up from the AC faithful as the light from from the entrance begins to flicker, flashing rapidly to the beat of the music before going out at approximately the 23 second mark. The two red spotlights converge in front of the entrance, and the crowd goes wild as Tina appears through the smoke, with the Champ of Champs himself following closely behind. Clad in his silver "PANTHER 215" basketball gear with black lettering and red trim and a black and red bandana around his head, Panther pauses momentarily, scouring the capacity crowd as they give him a big ovation. A look of determination appears on his face as Tina takes a knee in front of him, at which point Panther slowly raises his arms above his head, holding them high as a sea of camera flashes engulf his frame. Then, he snaps them down, and...

 

*FWOOOOOOOOOOSH~!*

 

...white sparks shoot up from the Ovaltron above the entrance. The crowd cheers once more as Panther and Tina start their path to the ring, alternating red and white spotlights flashing over the arena.

 

BUFFER

And now, here are the participants: Introducing first...hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! He stands at 5 feet, 11 inches and enters the ring tonight weighing in at ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-SEVEN POUNDS!!!!! He is being accompanied to the ring by his manager Tina, and is known throughout the world as the CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS...He...is...PAAAAAANTHEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

 

A slight smile appears on Panther's face as he draws near the ring, making sure to tag the hands of some ringside fans along the way. Once he's reached the ring, Panther turns back to Tina and gives her a kiss on the cheek. He then turns to referee Nick Patrick, who opens the cage door for him to enter. Panther chooses not to step through, however, and instead shoves Nick Patrick aside and slams the door shut.

 

COACH

What the hell?!

 

COLE

Panther...choosing not to enter the cage there...what's going through his mind?

 

Nick Patrick looks on in bewilderment as Panther grabs hold of a side of the cage, shaking it to test its give. Then, with a smile on his face, Panther begins to climb it. The crowd pops once again as Panther makes his way up the steel structure, swinging his right leg over once he reaches the top of the cage. He does the same with his left leg, then begins to climb down inside the cage. He plants both feet on the top rope once he gets within range, and with his hands still grasping the cage's steel links, Panther begins to scour the arena once more. A lone white spotlight falls upon Panther's frame as he glares into the crowd with intensity. Then, he looks into the main camera, pounds his heart with his right fist and...

 

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*

 

 

...springs from the top rope as more pyro shoots up from the four corners of the cage. Panther snaps his right fist into the air as he lands in the center of the ring, bringing the fans to their feet!

 

COLE

My God, 'Boose! Will you listen to this ovation for Panther?!

 

CABOOSE

Oh, so what?! These fans aren’t going to help Panther win “Rage In The Cage”!

 

COACH

But these fans might give him the encouragement, the desire, to escape the cage or to pin Tha Puerto Rican.

 

CABOOSE

Do you seriously believe these fans actually MAKE the wrestlers win? That’s a bunch of crap. Talent, guts, and determination make a wrestler win, and Tha Puerto Rican has all of the above.

 

COLE

It's deafening in here! Panther's got this capacity crowd here in Atlantic City worked into a frenzy, and look into those eyes, gang--HE IS READY!!! Panther is here, and he is ready for war!!!!!

 

Chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" echo throughout the arena as Panther walks to the far side of the cage and grabs it with his right hand, shaking it once more to test its give. Then, he heads over to a corner and takes a seat on the top turnbuckle, eagerly looking towards the locker room in anticipation of PR's arrival. "Roc U" begins to fade out and the camera cuts back to the entrance, at which point the Puerto Rican flag appears on the OvalTron. Then, Tha Puerto Rican's voice is heard saying the following words, which simultaneously appear on the screen in big, white blocky letters:

 

*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*

 

With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entranceway and the lights flicker on and off in the entrance. A few seconds elasped, and out from the curtains and through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. The crowds boos get louder. PR stands the crowd with disgust, jawing with some fans. He looks at Popick, and the two of them begin their walk down the aisle.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent: Being accompanied to the ring by his manager, and "Career Consultant", Stephen Joseph Popick, he stands at 5 feet, 9 inches and weighs in tonight at TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY-THREE POUNDS! Fighting out of SAN JUAN, PUERRRTOOO RRRIIIIICOOOO, he is "The Corporate Champion"...THA PUEERRRRTOOOO RRRRIIIIIIICAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!

 

COLE

This match was made into a Steel Cage Match by OAOAST HeldDOWN~! General Manager, Josie Baker following the events of Zero Hour back on February 27th when PRL and Panther instigated a riot at the Target Center.

 

CABOOSE

Now come on! Any video evidence you supply will SHOW that it was Panther that hit that fan in the head with that chair. If anyone should be arrested, it’s Panther!

 

COACH

But if you remember, it was Tha Puerto Rican that pie-faced that fan, which in turn, led to the other fans getting up, which in turn led to Panther hitting the fan in the head!

 

CABOOSE

Who cares about that? The important thing is that Panther hit the fan in the head with a chair, so therefore, if anyone is blamed for that riot, it’s Panther!

 

More sparks shoot up in front of the entrance and a string of pyro fires up from the top of the Angletron as Tha Puerto Rican stands 3/4 the way down the aisle, glaring hard at Panther as he sits atop the turnbuckle. He continues his path to the ring, taking a second to feign a backhand the way of a rogue fan in the front row. Once at ringside, Popick spins PR around and grabs his head with both hands, looking him square in the eyes as he barks out words of motivation: "YOU'RE THE CORPORATE CHAMP!!! HE'S NOTHING COMPARED TO YOU!!!!!! YOU HEAR ME?! NOTHING!!!!!" PR nods affirmatively, then slowly turns back to the ring, a sick smile forming on his face as he and his hated rival lock eyes once more. Panther waves him on from the corner, imploring him to "bring it" as in the background. The crowd begins to clamor as Nick Patrick opens the cage door, at which point, PRL begins to climb the ring stairs.

 

COACH

Uh oh!

 

COLE

We're about to have an explosion on our hands, folks.

 

The camera gives us a close up on the face of Tha Puerto Rican as he eyes Panther with contempt from the top of the stairs, then another of Panther as he waves him on once more. And with the crowd's anticipation rising to a fever pitch, PR cracks his knuckles, exhales deeply through clinched teeth, then steps into the cage...

 

COACH

HERE WE GO!!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

"RAGE IN THE CAGE"

STEEL CAGE MATCH

"THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN (with Stephen Joseph Popick) VS. PANTHER (with Tina)

PR's music stops abruptly as he steps through the ropes and the cage door closes behind him. Panther immediately hops down from the turnbuckle and darts at PR with a clothesline, but the Corporate Champ ducks under and fires off a knife-edge chop between Panther's shouderblades! He then catches Panther by the hair and dashes across the ring with him, looking to fling him into the steel mesh..but Panther's able raise his right boot, pressing it up against the steel to prevent PR from tossing him into it! A quick reverse elbow from Panther causes PR to release him, at which point Panther takes him by the head and slams him into the stee--NO!!!!! PR GETS THE HANDS UP TO BLOCK IT!!!!! PRL fires off a reverse elbow of his own that sends Panther stumbling in the opposite direction, then charges his way for a clothesline--THAT MISSES! PR's momentum takes him into the ropes, but he manages to duck under a Panther clothesline as he comes off. PR continues into the other side, and when Panther turns to intercept him, PR baseball slides through his legs--NO!!!!

 

COLE

HE GOT CAUGHT!!!!!

 

Indeed. PR squirms to free himself from Panther's grasp, but to no avail as Panther sits down on his back and applies the Truth Infection (Dragon Clutch)!!! The crowd goes WILD in the background!!

 

COLE

TRUTH INFECTION!!!!!! THE TRUTH INFECTION!!!!! PANTHER'S GOT IT LOCKED IN EARLY!!!!

 

CABOOSE

FIGHT IT, PR!!!! FIGHT IT!!!!!!

 

He does, and before in-ring referee Earl Herbner can get in position to ask him whether or not he submits, PR manages to squeeze his head free from Panther's grasp and flip him over onto his back, at which point he begins hammering down with piston-like right hands to his forehead, much to the crowd's chagrin. PR then pulls himself back to his feet and delivers an Eddie Guerrero-style face stretch that leaves Panther rolling around on the canvas clutching at his face with his right hand. PR then brings him back to his feet, where he rocks him with a hard European uppercut! He follows that up with a boot to the midsection that doubles him over, at which point he hooks Panther in a front facelock and signals to the crowd!

 

COLE

Wait a minute...don't tell me...

 

CABOOSE

CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!!!!! HE'S GOING FOR THE CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!!!!

 

The crowd lets loose a collective gasp as Tha Puerto Rican prepares to deliver his finishing manuever, but before he's able to execute, Panther puts him flat on his back with a double leg takedown. Panther then cinches up on PR's legs and lifts him up onto the back of his neck, and with the crowd cheering him on in the background, Panther falls back to the canvas...

 

*CRASH*

 

SLINGSHOTTING THA PUERTO RICAN FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL CAGE!!!!! The crowd pops big as a dazed PR staggers away from the cage, throwing wild rights and lefts at the air in a vain attempt to defend himself.

 

The crowd begins to clap and stomp in unison as Panther hovers above Tha Puerto Rican, begging and pleading for him to rise, as we've seen so many times in the past. And slowly, PR begins rise, pulling himself up to a knee, then back to a vertical base, at which point he turns and makes a mad dash for the cage wall! He leaps onto the steel structure and begins to climb it, trying as best he can to make an escape, but Panther's right on his trail. He comes in from behind and blasts Tha Puerto Rican with a hard forearm shot to the lower back. He fires off two more before climbing up behind him. PR has the cage gripped tightly as Panther pulls himself up onto the top rope and blasts him with another hard forearm shot, this one to the back of the head. He fires off one more before grabbing another rear waistlock on Tha Puerto Rican, at which point the crowd begins to clamor!

 

COACH

Uh oh!

 

COLE

He wouldn't! Not from the second rope!

 

Panther's got a huge smile on his face as he glares into the crowd, as if asking for their approval. Unfortunately for him, his hesitation gives PR the opportunity to deliver a mule kick to the groin, and the crowd boos loudly as the Champ of Champs tumbles from the top rope and hits hard off the mat!

 

COLE

Aww...what a cheap sonuva--

 

CABOOSE

Hey now wait a damn minute, Cole! There's no disqualification here--it's all legal!

 

COLE

I know, but...damn it! Tha Puerto Rican just delivered that low blow to Panther! Panther is hurt, ladies and gentlemen!

 

Referee Herbner tends to Panther as he lay on the canvas, clutching at the injury. Meanwhile, PR hops down from the cage and approaches the fallen Panther, a smug look on his face as he looks down upon him. He gives the crowd an "up yours" gesture, drawing there jeers before moving in and stomping Panther right in the head! Panther tries to rise, but another well-placed boot from PR puts him right back onto the mat! One more catches Panther right in the face, and as the Champ of Champs rolls around the canvas in pain, PR raises both arms into the air, drawing more boos from the crowd. He then turns to Tina--who's looking on with concern from the outside--and flashes a smile her way. "Take a look at your boyfriend now," he screams, before walking over to Panther and lifting him back to his feet by his hair. Once Panther's vertical, PR buries a knee deep into his midsection! He fires off a second before turning back to Tina and flashing another smile. Tha Puerto Rican removes his Puerto Rico flag bandana and chokes Panther with it. Panther is fading, but he fights back by punching PRL in the face, which stops the choking. Panther goes to the ropes, but PR quickly grabs Panther’s basketball jersey from behind, and pulls on it, trying to choke Panther with his own jersey. Tina shoots PRL a nasty glare from the floor as he takes Panther by the hair and charges toward the cage...

 

 

*CRASH*

 

 

SENDING PANTHER SAILING FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL MESH!!!!!! Panther bounces off hard and flops onto the canvas, and the crowd begins to boo once more as PR saunters around the ring. Popick claps it up from the outside as PR grabs hold of Panther and brings him back to his feet once again. He gets right up in his face, talking all sorts of trash before taking him by the hair and charging towards the cage and sending Panther crashing right into the steel a second time. This time, Panther staggers away from the cage and into a far turnbuckle, where PR moves right in on him, refusing to let him breathe. He comes right in a nails Panther with a hard stomp to the gut! A second! A third! Irish whip by Tha Puerto Rican sends Panther cross-corner, causing him to hit HARD off the opposite buckle! The crowd boos once more in the background as Panther winces in pain, clutching at his lower back as a nearby Popick taunts him from the arena floor. PR moves back in on Panther, burying another kick deep into his abdoment! He follows that up with a European uppercut that sends Panther's body flailing up against the top rope, at which point PR takes Panther's head, presses it up against the cage and rakes his face across the steel links. PR then tosses Panther down to the mat and flashes another cocky smile into the crowd, drawing their ire once again.

 

COLE

Oh...these fans do not like Tha Puerto Rican here in Atlantic City!

 

CABOOSE

Bah! Screw the fans, Cole! Fans don't win matches, and Tha Puerto Rican's proving it right here! He's destroying Panther in that ring right now, just like I said he would!

 

PR runs right in and blasts Panther with a hard soccer kick to the gut, causing him to roll over onto his back. He follows up by dropping his knee right down onto Panther's throat, which he then decides to hold on there, choking him. Panther kicks his legs wildly as PR applies pressure to his windpipe. Suddenly, referee Herbner moves in and begins to admonish him, imploring PR to release the choke!

 

HERBNER

Stop choking him PR! C'mon! 1...2...3...4...

 

PR just smiles at him, refusing to break the choke, at which point Herbner takes him by the head and pulls him up off of Panther, drawing a good-sized pop from the crowd.

 

CABOOSE

Now what the hell is that?!

 

COLE

Good officiating by Earl Herbner there!

 

CABOOSE

He cannot put his hands on Tha Puerto Rican like that, Cole! This match is no disqualification!

 

COLE

It's no disqualification, but c'mon! PR was trying to choke the life outta Panther there...Tha Puerto Rican is none-too-happy about that last call!

 

Indeed. He and Herbner begin to argue out in the center of the ring, and after some heated words are exchanged, PR shoves the smaller official back into the ropes. Unwilling to be intimidated, Herbner responds with a shove of his own, drawing another pop from the crowd. Angered, PR draws back his fist, preparing to strike the ref when suddenly, out of the corner of his eye he spots Panther beginning to pull himself back to his feet. He quickly turns his attention back to his opponent, and as Tina leads chants of "PAN-THER" from the outside, PR moves back in and delivers another hard stomp to the forehead of the Champ of Champs. He then drags him back to a vertical base and brings him out to the center of the ring, at which point he slips behind him and grabs a rear waistlock.

 

COLE

Oh wait a minute!

 

CABOOSE

PR's getting ready to show Panther how it's done!!

 

COLE

PR's got Panther hooked! German Suplex coming up--

 

 

But before he can deliver, Panther immediately charges foreward and drops down to the canvas, using his momentum to fling Tha Puerto Rican through the top and middle ropes and crash headfirst into the cage!

 

COLE

Oh! What a move by Panther there! Tha Puerto Rican just went crashing headfirst into the steel! PR hit the steel hard and watch Panther! Will he be able to capitalize!

 

On the floor, Tina rhythmically bangs against the cage as the chants of "PAN-THER" begin to grow louder. In the ring, Panther stumbles back to his feet, as a look of fury builds up in his eyes. He then turns his attention back to Tha Puerto Rican and begins to wave him on, and as soon as the Corporate Champ's able to get his feet under him, Panther moves right in and pops him with a hard right hand, much to the crowd's delight! Another hard right sends PR staggering back into a buckle, at which point Panther follows him in and begins to go to work, burying boot after boot after boot deep into his abdomen! Panther then takes PR's arm and whips him across the ring, causing him to crash hard off the buckle. PR stumbles forward, wincing in pain as he clutches at his lower back as Panther, unrelenting, moves right and whips him right back into the original buckle! PR bounces off hard, and as he staggers back out to the center of the ring, Panther darts into the ropes and comes off with a running front elbow that sends him straight to the mat! Panther's beginning to feel it as he paces back and forth about the ring, whipping the crowd back into a frenzy. He then turns back to PR, setting himself as he waits for him to get back to his feet. And as soon as PR's vertical, Panther moves right in a hooks him for a T-Bone--OH! But an elbow to the side of the head causes Panther to break his grip! PR then tries a haymaker, but Panther ducks underneath and hooks him in a half nelson, which he uses to drive the back of his neck down across his knee. PR rises to a seated position on the mat, favoring the back of his neck as he tries to clear the cobwebs. He doesn't get the chance to, however, as Panther quickly takes off into the ropes opposite him, springs off and...

 

 

*WHAM*

 

 

NAILS PR RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH THE FRONTLINE!!!!!!! The crowd pops big as Panther makes the cover! Hook of the leg...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!! Just a TWOOOOOOOO~!

 

COLE

Oh my goodness, folks! Panther with that Frontline...that running front dropkick right to the face of Tha Puerto Rican! He was only able to get a two, but 'Boose, with that kind of impact, I wouldn't have been surprised to see Panther get the three there!

 

Now it's Popick looking on with a concern as Panther brings a groggy PR back to his feet, looking to continue his offense. Front elbow to the top of PR's head buckles his knees! Panther then hooks him for another T-Bone and this time succeeds in dumping The Corporate Champ right on the back of his head. He then springs back to his feet shooting another intense glare PR's way.

 

Panther walks over to Tha Puerto Rican and grabs him by the head, shouting all sorts of obscenities at him as he drags him back to a vertical base. He then begins to eye the cage sinisterly, and once PR's feet are under him, Panther charges forward...

 

 

*CRASH*

 

...AND SENDS PR FLYING RIGHT BACK INTO THE CAGE!!!!!! Dazed, PR staggers right back into Panther's arms, only to be taken and tossed right back into the unforgiving steel!

 

 

 

*CRASH*

 

 

Again!

 

 

*CRASH*

 

 

Again!!!

 

 

*CRASH*

 

AND AGAIN!!!!!!!

 

COLE

Good God Panther's lost it!!!! Panther's absolutely lost it! He is trying to destroy Tha Puerto Rican inside that cage!

 

CABOOSE

Damn it Herbner!!! Do something about this! You cannot allow him to do this to the Corporate Champ!

 

A groggy PR starts toward a far corner, looking to create some distance between himself and the surging Champ of Champs. His attempt is unsuccessful as Panther moves in from behind, catching him by the head and the back of the tights and flinging him right back into the steel once again. The crowd pops big as Panther follows him in and presses his face up against the steel, and--despite PR's best efforts to pull himself away--Panther begins grating his face against the cage, causing him to scream bloody murder! Panther then flings PR back down to the mat and snaps his right fist into the air, bringing the crowd noise a decible higher!

 

CABOOSE

Damn it, Cole! This isn't fair! He cannot treat Tha Puerto Rican this way!

 

COLE

PR's face just ground into that cage! His face being treated like hamburger meat by the Champion of Champions, and PR is in some trouble now on the canvas.

 

The Corporate Champ pulls himself to a kneeling position with a glazed-over look in his eyes. Panther moves right in on him, catching him by the hair and looking to bring him back to his feet--OH! But a rake at the face by PR causes him to reel in the opposite direction. The desperation move allows PR time to clear the cobwebs, and before Panther can get himself together, PR charges his way and shoves him back up against the cage, at which point, he just begins laying into his jaw with STIFF, STIFF right hands! PR then sends Panther in for an Irish whip, looking to catch him coming off with a pendulum backbreaker. Panther manages to back flip out of his grasp, however, landing on his on his feet and gutwrenching him...into tombstone position! The crowd begins to rise...

 

CABOOSE

Oh no!

 

PR tries as best he can to free himself from Panther's grasp, but to no avail as Panther turns to face the main camera and drives him down hard with...

 

COLE

THE TRUTH!!!! PR JUST GOT SPIKED!!!!!!!!!!

 

Another HUGE pop from the crowd as Panther pulls himself back to his feet, looking down upon PR for a moment to see if he's still conscious. PR's not moving, and so Panther turns back to Referee Nick Patrick and signals for him to open the cage door.

 

COLE

Panther's calling for the door to be opened! He's gonna try and make an escape!

 

CABOOSE

Oh my God, PR! Get up! Stop him!

 

And Patrick obliges him, swinging the door open to allow Panther to step through. However, as Panther draws near the door, Popick on the outside rushes over to it, shoves Patrick to the floor and slams it shut! The crowd boos loudly in the background as Popick holds the door shut, preventing Panther from exiting.

 

COLE

DAMN IT!!!!! Panther may have had the match won right there!!!!!

 

Nick Patrick pulls himself to his feet and begins yelling at Popick, demanding that he release the door, but the OAOAST Corporate member refuses, and instead begins to taunt Panther from the floor. Suddenly, the crowd begins to cheer as an angry Tina begins to make her way around the ringside area and over to where Popick is standing.

 

COACH

Uh oh! It's on now!!!!!

 

COLE

Tina's making her way over to Popick on the outside!!! We could have another explosion on our hands!

 

The crowd pops big as Tina walks up to Popick and shoves him away the door. Popick's eyes widen with surprise as he turns to face the angry Superwoman, who's now standing in front of the cage door mouthing off to him. Popick's state of shock quickly turns to anger as storms towards Tina, shoving her back into the guardrail! Suddenly--

 

 

*CRASH*

 

CABOOSE

OH!!!!!!!

 

--Panther comes off the ropes with a full head of steam and Frontlines the cage door, causing it to swing out and nail Popick right in the side of the head! A stunned Popick picks himself off the ringside mats following the move...only to be sent back down courtesy of a spear from Tina! The crowd goes crazy as Tina begins laying into him with rapid-fire right hands!!!

 

COLE

MY GOODNESS, FANS!!!!! TINA HAS LOST IT!!! TINA IS ALL OVER POPICK ON THE ARENA FLOOR...

 

CABOOSE

DAMN IT, COLE!!! THIS IS UNCALLED FOR!!!! UN-FUCKING-CALLED FOR!!!!! SHE HAS NO BUSINESS PUTTING HER HANDS ON POPICK LIKE THAT!!!! NO RIGHT AT ALL!!!!!

 

As Patrick and a few other ring attendants try to break up the melee on the outside, Panther prepares to step through the cage and hop out to the floor. Before he can do so, however, a recovered PR rushes in from behind and drills him with a hard forearm shot to the back of the head. Jeer fill the arena as PR begins to go to work on Panther, hammering him with CLUBBERING~! THEY BE CLUBBERING~! forearms to the neck and the back of the head before taking Panther's face and running it across the steel cage once again. PR flings Panther back down to the canvas before leaning back into the ropes, hoping to get himself together. He breathes deep, labored breaths as Panther slowly pulls off the mat, clutching at his face every bit of the way. He's able to make it back to a kneeling position at which point PR charges his way, sending him right back to the canvas with a hard boot to the face. PR then flashes another smile into the crowd as he head back to the corner and pushes himself up onto the second rope. The crowd begins to boo once again. PRL stops and poses, but little does he doesn't realize that Panther is getting up. PRL turns around...RIGHT INTO THE EXTENDED RIGHT BOOT OF PANTHER!!!!!!

 

CABOOSE

OH!!!

 

COLE

Panther had it scouted!!!!! PR caught that boot right on the jaw!!!!!

 

The crowd pops as PR falls straight to the canvas. He's knocked a bit loopy, and after a taking a brief moment to try and clear his head, he begins crawling for the opened cage door!

 

COLE

Wait a minute! PR's crawling for the door! Now it's Tha Puerto Rican that's trying to make the escape.

 

On the outside, Nick Patrick and the other officials confer with Tina, trying to calm her down as in the ring, PR pulls himself closer and closer to the door...hand over hand...hand over hand...until he finds himself just within arm's reach of it. However, just as he's preparing to crawl through...

 

 

 

 

PANTHER come behind and catches him by the ankle, looking to prevent his escape. Undaunted, PR begins kicking at Panther with his free leg, catching him with a boot right to the mouth that causes Panther to release his grip. He immediately starts back towards the door, but Panther catches the ankle once again, this time using it to drag him back out to the center of the ring, where he lifts up PR's leg and slams his knee hard into the mat!!!!! The crowd pops in the background as PR rolls over onto his back, grasping at the knee. Meanwhile, officials on the outside seem to have calmed Tina down. Suddenly...

 

 

*CRACK*

 

 

COLE

HEY!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!

 

The crowd boos wildly as Popick approaches Tina from behind and lays her out with a steel chair!!!!!!!! Nick Patrick and the other officials begin to yell at him as he stands above the fallen Superwoman, the chair gripped tightly in his right hand and a devilish smile etched on his face!

 

COLE

Son of a bitch! I can't believe what Popick has just done!!!! Popick...this piece of garbage just laid Tina out with a chair...

 

CABOOSE

Now wait a minute, Cole! Wait a minute--Tina put her hands on him first!! She brought this all on herself!

 

COLE

I can't believe...Popick using that weapon to attack a woman...FROM BEHIND no less! DAMN HIM!

 

Oblivious to what's just transpired on the floor between Popick and Tina, Panther once again has hold of PR's leg, this time using it to try to yank the Corporate Champ off of the bottom rope and back out to the center of the ring. PR refuses to be pulled, however, and after using the ropes to pull himself back to a vertical base, PR turns and blasts Panther with an enzuiguri!!! Both men go tumbling to the canvas as from the outside, Popick begins to cheer PR on!

 

COLE

What a shot that was by PR! Enzuiguri puts Panther down on the mat, and now look at Tha Puerto Rican, folks! PR's starting to crawl towards that steel cage door.

 

Yes! Once again, PR begins pulling himself hand over hand towards the door. Popick stands just at the other side of it, waving his charge on as the fans nervously clamor for Panther to revive himself. He's slow to do so, still feeling the effects of PR's enzuiguri as he pulls himself up onto his hands and knees. By now, PR is nearing the door and the crowd is beside is beside itself, chanting "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" at the top of their lungs in an effort to will him on. It seems to do some good, as Panther--having regained his bearings--turns around and lunges at Tha Puerto Rican, catching him by the ankle to prevent him from crawling any further. Unwilling to see his charge denied, Popick reaches through the cage door and catches Tha Puerto Rican's right hand and tries to pull him out of the cage!

 

COLE

Can you believe this match, ladies and gentlemen?! We've got this idiot Popick trying to pull PR out of the cage...Panther's got the ankle, trying to pull PR back in.

 

COACH

Heh! We've got a Puerto Rican tug-of-war!

 

The crowd is on pins and needles as Panther struggles to keep hold of Tha Puerto Rican while at the same time, Popick struggles to pull him out. Panther eventually moves away from PR's ankle and cinches up on leg right around the kneecap, giving himself more leverage to pull PR away. Popick struggles to maintain, but it's no use! Panther pulls PRL away, and Nick Patrick closes the cage door. Panther pulls him up, but PRL gives Panther a Flair uppercut (lowblow), causing Panther to fall to the mat. PRL laughs an evil laugh as the crowd chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!"

 

COLE

These fans are being just vicious to Tha Puerto Rican here tonight!

 

PRL ignores the chants while Popick tries to quiet the crowd. PRL gets up and whips Panther into the ropes. PRL puts his head down, so Panther kicks him in the head. Panther grabs Puerto Rican, and whips him into the ropes, and gives PR the SPINEBUSTER!

 

COLE

And that move must have taken the energy out of both PRL and Panther!

 

Panther slowly crawls to the cage door. The crowd roots him on, chanting “PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER!” Panther tells Nick Patrick to open the door. He does, and Panther slowly crawls out of the ring. The crowd stands up and cheers, but suddenly, PRL grabs Panther’s right leg. Panther struggles to escape, but Tha Puerto Rican holds onto the leg. PRL gets up, still holding onto the leg, and pulls at it. Panther tries to fight out of it, but it is to no avail, as Tha Puerto Rican pulls Panther back into the ring. Nick Patrick closes the door, but Tha Puerto Rican leaps to the edge of the ring and tries to slide out of the ring through the cage door. However, Panther grabs PRL’s right leg and pulls him back into the ring. Nick Patrick goes to close the door again, but Panther leaps to the edge of the ring, and tries to slide out through the cage door. But again, Tha Puerto Rican grabs Panther’s right leg and pulls him back in. Nick Patrick closes the door, while Tha Puerto Rican kicks Panther in the head. PRL leaps to the edge once again. Nick Patrick opens the door, but Panther holds onto PRL’s right leg. He pulls at it, but PRL holds onto the ring apron to try and escape Panther’s grip.

 

COLE

Who’s it going to be? PRL or Panther? Panther or PRL?

 

COACH

It’s anybody’s guess right now! They are both fighting to get to the door!

 

CABOOSE

Come on! Come on, PRL! Escape! ESCAPE! COME ON!

 

PRL holds onto the ring apron still. Suddenly, Stephen Joseph Popick runs to the cage door and hands Tha Puerto Rican a chair. PRL smiles an evil smile. Panther pulls PRL back into the ring. However, before Panther can attack, Tha Puerto Rican knocks him in the head with the chair. PRL stands up, and loud boos are heard throughout the Atlantic City Convention Center. Panther lies on the mat, holding his head, while Tha Puerto Rican stands over him, and poses with the chair.

 

COLE

Uh-oh.

 

COACH

Uh-oh.

 

CABOOSE

Oh yeah. Oh yeah! Here we go! Business is about to pick up! “Rage In The Cage” has just been kicked up a notch!

 

COLE

Tha Puerto Rican hitting Panther in the back in the head with a chair is what started all this back on January 27th! For the last 3 months, Tha Puerto Rican and Panther have battled it out with chairs as their primary weapon of choice. And now, at AngleMania IV, in this Steel Cage Match, chairs once again are involved.

 

COACH

It all makes sense though. This whole feud started with a chair. Now, it ends with a chair!

 

The cage is locked, and PR, Panther, and a chair are stuck in the ring. PRL smiles a sly smile as Panther slowly gets up. The crowd stands up and boos loudly, as PRL readies the chair for an attack. He lifts the chair up…

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

…and blasts Panther in the back with a steel chair!

 

CABOOSE

ALL RIGHT! Way to go, PR!

 

Tha Puerto Rican lifts the chair up again, and blasts Panther in the back with it again. He does it a third time, and then drops the chair. Rican grabs Panther, and gives him a double-armed DDT, with Panther’s head hitting the chair.

 

COLE

And now Tha Puerto Rican is using the chair anyway he can to beat Panther and win this match!

 

CABOOSE

HA! HA! HA!

 

PRL drops the chair. He points to the cage, and begins his climb. The crowd goes nuts. Tha Puerto Rican is over the top, while Panther is slowly getting up.

 

CABOOSE

He’s over the top! He’s over the top! Climb down PRL! Climb down!

 

Tha Puerto Rican is indeed over the top of the steel cage, but before PRL can begin to climb down, grabs Tha Puerto Rican’s head, and holds onto it, trying to bring him back into the ring. PRL’s legs are dangling outside the cage.

 

CABOOSE

All he has to do is drop, and he’ll win! Drop! PRL! DROP!

 

The crowd is cheering. Panther punches Tha Puerto Rican in the head. After a few punches to the skull, PRL is dazed enough that Panther can bring him into the ring again. PRL and Panther both stand on the top rope, each holding onto the cage. They slug it out. PRL gains the advantage, and shoves Panther off the top rope onto the mat. Panther gets right back up, and charges at PRL. PRL kicks him in the face. Panther is stun, but he charges again, and PRL kicks him in the face once again. Panther charges a third time, leaping onto the top turnbuckle, grabbing PRL, and putting him into the position for the Pantherplex—NO!—Tha Puerto Rican escapes, punching Panther in the back of his head. PRL grabs Panther’s head, and punches him in the face several times. He then sets him up for the Latin Slam (Rock Bottom). Tha Puerto Rican stands on the top rope, holding Panther in position for the Latin Slam. He leaps off the top with Panther in tow…LATIN SLAM FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO A CHAIR!!!

 

COACH

DAY-UM~!!!

 

COLE

OH MY GOD! Tha Puerto Rican has just given Panther a Latin Slam from the top rope, with Panther’s back landing on the chair!

 

CABOOSE

YES! YES! YES! THERE WE GO!

 

The crowd is shocked. They then chant “HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!” PRL and Panther lie on the mat, obviously in pain.

 

COLE

Normally, the ref would start a 10-count, but not in a Steel Cage Match. There are no countouts in Steel Cage Matches, no disqualifications either. There MUST be a winner, and the only ways to win are either by pinfall, submission, or escaping the cage.

 

CABOOSE

And if what we just saw is anything, then Panther won’t be able to fight much longer!

 

PRL gets a sudden burst of energy, and does a kip-up. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican leaps onto the cage, and climbs. He climbs over the top of the cage, but before he can climb down, Panther grabs his right leg. Panther pulls at the leg, getting it back into the ring, and then pulls PRL into the ring again using PRL’s shirt, nearly ripping it off in the process. Panther beats on the PRL. He whips him into the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and then blasts Tha Puerto Rican with a Superkick. Panther and PR both collapse onto the mat. By this time, the facepaint on PRL’s face is almost gone. Both PRL and Panther are sweating and breathing hard. Panther is the first one to move, crawling to the cage door. Nick Patrick opens the door, and Panther slowly crawls out.

 

COLE

This could be it! This could be it! Panther is only halfway there! His upperbody is out of the cage!

 

CABOOSE

But wait! Here comes PRL!

 

Indeed, Tha Puerto Rican grabs Panther’s right leg and pulls at it. Now, Panther is the one who is gripping the ring apron. PRL is pulling at Panther’s leg, but he does not budge. The crowd chants “LET’S GO PAN-THER! LET’S GO PAN-THER!” PRL yells out “JUST COME BACK IN YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!” Suddenly, a big pop comes from the crowd, Tina has a chair of her own, and is coming to the cage door.

 

CABOOSE

Aw! That damn wench! She’s cheating here!

 

Tina hands Panther the chair. PRL pulls Panther back into the ring. Panther turns around, and nails PRL in the stomach with the edge of the chair. Panther gets up, and waits till PRL turns around…

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

…and BLASTS PRL UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR!!!

 

COLE

OH MY! Now PANTHER with a chairshot!

 

COACH

There are two chairs in the ring Mikey, and two competitors! Things could get ugly any minute now!

 

COLE

We are even now. 2 managers. 2 chairs. 2 OAOAST superstars in the ring.

 

Panther is still holding his chair. He strikes it against PRL’s back again and again. PRL crawls around the ring, receiving chairshots in the back thanks to Panther. He crawls a turnbuckle, and uses the ropes to pick himself up. At the same time, he notices that the chair that he used is near that turnbuckle. PRL grabs the other chair in the ring. Panther walks towards the turnbuckle where Tha Puerto Rican is. He lifts his chair up, but before he could slam it against PRL’s back, PRL turns around…and blocks the chairshot with his own chair! Panther tries to hit PRL in the face with the chair, but PRL blocks that with his own chair also. Panther is getting frustrated, but tries again, but PRL blocks that one too. Panther backs away from Tha Puerto Rican. He notices that PRL has a chair too. The crowd is buzzing, sensing that something exciting could happen. PRL and Panther stare at each other, both of them holding a chair. Finally, PRL yells out

 

“ENGUARDE!”

 

And Tha Puerto Rican and Panther lunge at each other, and engage in another “chairfight”. The crowd is going nuts watching the two try to hit the other with a chair, only for the shot to be blocked by another chair.

 

COACH

They’re doing that “chairfight” thing again! It’s like watching a swordfight…with chairs!

 

Panther forces PRL to move towards a turnbuckle. He swings faster and faster, but PRL is still blocking the shots with his own chair. Panther goes in for the kill, swinging the chair at PRL, but PRL moves out of the way. PRL swings his chair, but Panther moves out of the way, and instead, the chair hits the ropes, which causes the chair to bounce off the ropes, hitting Tha Puerto Rican in the face. PRL becomes dizzy, but he quickly snaps out of it. PRL and Panther stare at each other once again, each one still holding onto a chair.

 

“THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN

ENGUARDE!!!

 

Tha Puerto Rican and Panther engage in another “chairfight” with the crowd going nuts. Neither man has the edge at first, but then, Tha Puerto Rican hits Panther in the stomach with the edge of the chair. He swings the chair at Panther’s head, but Panther blocks it with his chair. PRL stops the chairfight to laugh in Panther's face.

 

PRL

Ha! Ha! You suck!

 

Panther punches PRL square in the face.

 

PRL

Ow!

 

PRL holds his face, dropping his chair. PRL turns around to tend to his face, not noticing Panther still has his chair. When he turns around…Panther hits him in the head with his chair!

 

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh God. COME ON PRL! GET UP!

 

COLE

Tha Puerto Rican has been blasted with a chair, and now he is kissing the canvas!

 

Panther stands over Tha Puerto Rican, chair in hand, while the crowd goes wild. Panther trashtalks “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd chants “PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER!” Tha Puerto Rican lifts his head up, and it is revealed that he has a cut on his forehead. Blood is slowly dripping from his forehead onto the mat. PRL begins crawling, blood continuing to flow from his forehead, and dripping onto the mat. Panther demands that he gets up. Panther finally has enough, and he punches him in the face. He whips him into a turnbuckle, with Tha Puerto Rican hitting his back against the turnbuckle HARD. PRL sits on the mat, resting against the bottom rope. Panther places his chair on PRL’s face, and then heads to the opposite turnbuckle. The crowd cheers, awaiting Panther’s next move. Panther charges towards PRL, and gives him the Frontline onto the chair.

 

COACH

OUCH!

 

COLE

Panther is just brutalizing Tha Puerto Rican now!

 

Panther drags PR out of the turnbuckle, and places him on the mat. Panther covers Tha Puerto Rican.

 

1…

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

CABOOSE

You see. You see? No matter how badly Tha Puerto Rican gets beaten, he is still getting up. Tha Puerto Rican hasn’t given up, and he will NEVER give up! He’s not going to stand there and let Panther win this matchup!

 

Panther punches PRL directly on the cut above the forehead. By now, blood is covering almost all of Tha Puerto Rican’s face. He kicks at PR some more. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Panther jumps onto the ropes, and gives PR the Asai Moonsault. Panther cover. 1…2…But Tha Puerto Rican kicks out. Panther picks Tha Puerto Rican up, and punches him in the face some more. He whips him into the ropes. PRL stays on the ropes, so Panther charges….and PRL lifts him up, backdropping him into the cage. The crowd groans while Panther crumbles onto the mat. Popick applauds his protégé.

 

CABOOSE

And how about that? Despite losing buckets of blood, despite being beaten by that punk Panther, Tha Puerto Rican still finds enough strength to backbody drop Panther. And into the cage, no less! See, this just proves that Tha Puerto Rican is a natural. He is a phenomenal athlete!

 

The crowd boos PR. PR’s face is now in the crimson mask. The blood loss is starting to affect PRL, who is walking slowly, and is having trouble keeping his balance. He grabs Panther and rolls him into the center of the ring, where he tries to pin him. It only gets a two count. PR looks at the crowd, and then heads to the top rope. He hits Panther with The Mad Cappa Crusher 2003, but it also only gets a two count. Popick is outside the ring demanding PR continue his attack, while Tina is trying to bring Panther back to life. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican punches Panther in the head, trying to make *him* bleed, but no blood appears, despite PRL’s best efforts. He picks Panther up, and whips him into the ropes. Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker! Tha Puerto Rican picks up Panther again, and whips him into the ropes. PRL jumps up and places his legs in between Panther’s head, and goes for a Hurricarana. NO! Panther somehow holds on, and lifts him up. PRL lets out a high-pitched scream.

 

COLE

He could be going for Da Bomb~! He could be going for his finisher!

 

Instead of Da Bomb, Panther runs while still holding onto PRL…and launches him into the steel cage. PRL hits the cage HARD, and falls on the mat.

 

CABOOSE

Panther is treating Tha Puerto Rican like a pinball machine treats a pinball!

 

COACH

So, you could say he “bumps like a pinball.”

 

COLE

SHHHH! Quit exposing the business!

 

Panther picks up Tha Puerto Rican and beats him up some more. He whips him into the ropes, and lifts him up. He holds onto Tha Puerto Rican for a few seconds, and then drops him with The Deep End (Samoan Driver). Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat, his face covered in blood, as well as his neck and nearly his whole shirt. There is also blood on the mat. Panther points to the cage, and the crowd applauds. Panther grabs one of the two chairs in the ring, and begins his ascent up the cage, climbing with his right hand, and holding a chair in his left hand. The P.R. Menace is, however, getting up; using all the energy he has left. When he sees Panther about to climb over the top, he panics, so he runs, and grabs Panther’s right leg. He pulls at the leg, trying his hardest to get Panther back into the ring.

 

CABOOSE

Don’t let go! Whatever you do, don’t let go!

 

COLE

Tha Puerto Rican now reaching for the shorts. These fans here at the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center in Atlantic City, New Jersey are cheering Panther on, from the front row to the rafters!

 

PRL grabs at the shorts, and successfully brings Panther back into the ring. Panther stands on the top rope, still holding onto the chair, and kicks PRL. PRL lunges at Panther, but Panther kicks him in the face again, and tries to go over the top of the cage again. PRL grabs the other chair left in the ring, and smashes it across the back of Panther. He does it a second time, but Panther still holds onto the cage. PRL climbs the cage, and stands next to Panther. He holds onto the cage with his left hand, and hits Panther on top of the head with the chair with his right hand. Panther doesn’t fall; instead he fires back with a chairshot of his own. PRL doesn’t fall either, and he responds with another chairshot to the head. Panther STILL doesn’t fall, and he hits PRL again with his chair. PRL fights back and the two go back and forth, hitting each other with chairs, while holding onto the cage. The crowd groans after each chairshot. Finally, PRL gains the advantage, hitting Panther in 2 straight times. Panther is dazed, so PRL shoves him. Panther’s groin hits the ropes. Panther then falls off the ropes onto the mat. Some fans are surprisingly chanting, “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!”

 

COLE

These two men definitely have concussions by now.

 

COACH

How these two are still fighting is beyond me.

 

Tha Puerto Rican laughs at Panther. PRL’s shirt has turned from white to red. He starts climbing the cage, with the crowd booing, but some fans cheering. Panther is lying in the center of the ring, breathing hard, sweating, and in pain.

 

CABOOSE

He’s over the top! He’s over the top! Now climb down! Climb down! Do it! Panther is in pain! He hasn’t gotten up yet! Climb down! Climb down!

 

Popick is also heard screaming “CLIMB DOWN!” The fans are getting anxious, waiting for PR to climb down the cage and win the match, considering he is already over the top of the cage. However, just as PRL is about to climb down, he stops. He changes his mind, and climbs back up. The crowd is cheering even louder now, while Popick is yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” PRL has a smirk on his face as he climbs back up.

 

COLE

Now what is he thinking? He could win this match! He could have won it right now! Why is he going up?!

 

COACH

I don’t know, Mikey. Your guess is as good as I mine.

 

CABOOSE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CLIMB DOWN, NOT UP! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!

 

Tha Puerto Rican is standing on top of the cage, holding onto the wires that hold the cage when it is above the ring. PRL looks at the still-on-the-mat Panther, and laughs. He looks at the crowd, and removes his left elbow pad, throwing it into the crowd. The crowd pops knowing what he is thinking of doing.

 

COLE

Oh no. Don’t tell me.

 

COACH

He wouldn’t. From 16 feet in the air?

 

PRL looks at the crowd once more, and jumps off the top of the cage, doing the “Up Yours” hand gesture while in mid-air….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND HE HITS THE CORPORATE ELBOW DROP ON PANTHER FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!

 

COLE

OH MY GOD!

 

COACH

He’s crazy. That’s the only explanation. Tha Puerto Rican is crazy.

 

COLE

Tha Puerto Rican has just hit the Corporate Elbow Drop from the top of the cage! He just hit an elbow drop from 16-feet in the air!

 

COACH

What will he think of next?

 

PR and Panther both lay on the mat. The crowd is still hot following the Corporate Elbow Drop. A noticeable “P.R.!” chant is heard from a small section of the crowd. Blood is still flowing from the forehead of PR, and now his head, neck, and chest are covered in blood. PR slowly turns around, and places his right arm over Panther’s chest. Earl Herbner counts.

 

1…

 

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

3—KICK OUT AT 2.99999999999999!!!

 

COLE

This match will take a tremendous toll on both men’s lives and careers!

 

CABOOSE

Tell me something I don’t know.

 

COLE

I once open-mouthed kissed a horse.

 

CABOOSE

What?!

 

COLE

That’s something you don’t know.

 

Tha Puerto Rican is the first to get up. Panther is still on the mat. PRL grabs him, and places him in between his legs, giving him the piledriver! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican picks up Panther and seats him in the ring. PRL rushes forward, giving him the Lightning Shock (Leaping Reverse Neckbreaker). PRL kicks Panther some more, and then picks him up, whipping him into a turnbuckle. The man formerly known as The Lightning Kid elbows Panther in the corner, and then delivers knife-edged chops to the chest of Panther. PRL stomps a mudhole in him, and then grabs a chair. He puts the chair on Panther’s chest, and then heads to the turnbuckle located next to the one Panther is sitting in. The crowd stands up, watching PR slowly head to the top rope. PRL measures the distance from turnbuckle to turnbuckle.

 

COLE

I don’t like where this is going.

 

COACH

Me either.

 

CABOOSE

Well, I do. Hey, Panther, would you to fly Air Puerto Rico? You don’t? Well too bad, because you’re about to right now!

 

The crowd holds it breath. Tha Puerto Rican sneers at the crowd, and then at the fatigued Panther, and then leaps off the top, doing a front dropkick into the chair that is resting on Panther’s chest. Panther lets out a scream that is heard throughout the arena.

 

CABOOSE

AIR PUERTO RICO!

 

COLE

THAT WAS AN INCREDIBLE MOVE! THA PUERTO RICAN HAS JUST HIT PANTHER WITH THAT VAN TERMINATOR!

 

CABOOSE

NO! THAT”S AIR PUERTO RICO! Get it right!

 

COACH

Tha Puerto Rican went from turnbuckle to turnbuckle, coast-to-coast, hitting the Air Puerto Rico on Panther.

 

The camera cuts to the outside where Stephen Joseph and Tina are worried. Popick is biting his nails while Tina yells “COME ON PANTHER!” PRL and Panther are both on the mat again. Panther’s eyes are now glazed over following the Air Puerto Rico. Rican slowly crawls over, and drags Panther to the center of the ring. He hooks Panther’s right leg and Herbner counts.

 

ONE…

 

 

TWO…

 

 

THRE—KICKOUT!

 

PRL holds his head in frustration. The bloodied Puerto Rican argues with Herbner but it’s only a two count.

 

COLE

Despite being hit in the head with a chair. Despite being given a Corporate Elbow Drop from the top rope. Despite being given the Air Puerto Rico, Panther has STILL not stayed down. He is coming back, even after all the incredible moves delivered by Tha Puerto Rican! And things are now heating up!

 

The crowd begins chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL tells Nick Patrick to open the door. Referee Nick Patrick opens the cage door, and PRL walks out the door—NO-Panther grabs hold of PRL’s right leg. PRL tries to shake Panther off, but Panther is holding on like a puppy holding onto its owner. PRL tries to go through the door, but Panther will not let go. He pulls the leg, which causes PRL to trip and fall on the mat. Panther drags PRL back into the ring, with Tha Puerto Rican trying to hold onto anything and everything. Nick Patrick closes the cage door. Panther turns PR around, and grabs his legs…slingshooting Tha Puerto Rican into the steel. Both PRL and Panther are down on the mat.

 

COLE

The Atlantic City Convention Center is rumbling! Who will be the first to escape the cage? Or who will the man who gets the pin? OR who will tap out?

 

Panther shows the first signs of life. He uses the ropes to help himself get up. PRL is still on the mat, but too is slowly getting up. Panther gestures for Tha Puerto Rican to get up. “The Champ Of Champs” yells at PRL to get up. However, when PR gets up, he also has a chair with him. PR throws the chair at Panther, and then follows with the Van Daminator.

 

COLE

VAN DAMINATOR! VAN DAMINATOR!

 

COACH

This isn't a Cage Match. This is a Chair Match!

 

PRL is on one knee, while Panther is flat out on the mat. The Corporate Champ stops to pose, receiving boos. P.R. laughs at Panther, who is kissing the canvas. PRL turns him over, revealing that Panther is now bleeding from his forehead also. Tha Puerto Rican covers Panther, but only gets a two count. PRL goes back to kicking the now bleeding Panther. PRL picks up Panther, and Irish whips him into the ropes. PR follows with a flying clothesline. Panther gets back up, so PR greets him with the Cappa Killa! But because of the blood loss and fatigue, PR falls to the mat also.

 

COLE

Panther and Tha Puerto Rican are feeling the effects of this Steel Cage Matchup.

 

COACH

Oh yeah. When Josie said this match would be “Rage In The Cage”, she wasn’t kidding.

 

CABOOSE

Come on PRL! You’re close to the door!

 

Tha Puerto Rican and Panther both get up at the same time. Panther goes for a scoop slam, but PR escapes. PRL goes for a German Suplex, but Panther reverses that, and pushes PR into the cage. PRL hits the cage, and is then greeted by rapid-fire lowblows, kneeing him in the groin 10 times. PRL is now dizzy, so he doesn’t notice when he walks into a PANTHER CUTTER! Both Panther and P.R. fall to the mat. Panther’s face is covered in blood now. The entire upperbody of Tha Puerto Rican is bloodied. Panther is slowly getting up, using the ropes once again for help. He gets in a vertical base, and then begins climbing the cage. The closer he gets to the top, the louder the fans get. When Panther is at the top of the cage, the crowd nearly explodes.

 

COLE

A victory for Panther is only a few feet away!

 

But before Panther can climb over the top, he notices that Popick is there. Popick trashtalks Panther, and dares him to climb over the top. Panther doesn’t take the threats seriously, and begins climbing down, but Popick climbs the cage also, trying to force Panther back into the ring.

 

COLE

And now that damn Popick! That damn Popick is now getting involved!

 

CABOOSE

Hey, this is a Steel Cage Match! Anything goes. Isn’t that what you said earlier?

 

Popick grabs Panther’s left leg and shoves it back into the ring. Panther puts his left leg over the top of the cage, but Popick shoves it back into the ring. The crowd boos loudly, but the boos turn to cheers, when Tina comes to Panther’s rescue. She grabs Stephen Joseph and drags him off the cage. Tina follows with a punch to the temple. And another punch. Tina finishes Popick off with the DDTina.

 

COLE

DDTINA! DDTINA! TINA HAS TAKEN POPICK OUT OF THIS MATCH!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! NO! NO! NO! That jezebel has no business being at ringside! Security! Get that woman out of here!

 

Panther smiles at his girl, and then proceeds to climb out of the cage—NO!—During the confrontation between Popick and Tina, Tha Puerto Rican got up. When he sees Panther heading over the top of the cage, PRL leaps onto the cage, and grabs Panther’s left leg. Panther fights out of that, and gets both his legs over the top of the cage. Panther is now ready to begin climbing down, but PRL grabs Panther’s head, and smashes it against the top of the cage. He smashes Panther’s head against the door several more times, which causes the already bleeding Panther to become dazed. PRL drags Panther by his head over the top of the cage into the ring.

 

COLE

Panther is hanging upside down!

 

CABOOSE

Pull him straight down. That way he’ll break his neck, and you’ll win the match!

 

COLE

Will you stop?!

 

PRL beats on Panther’s neck, and then uses his basketball jersey to pull him back into the ring. Both PRL and Panther are standing on the top rope. The two fight it out on the top rope. PR smashes Panther’s head into the cage. Panther smashes PR’s head into the cage. Tha Puerto Rican grabs Panther, and the two fall from the ropes onto the mat back first.

 

CABOOSE

Russian Legsweep!

 

COLE

Tha Puerto Rican just gave Panther a Russian Legsweep from the top rope!

 

COACH

That’s the first time that’s ever happened isn’t it?!

 

CABOOSE

YES! Way to go PRL! That’s what you gotta do! Keep up the attack. You’re almost there! Victory is almost yours!

 

PRL grabs one of the two chairs, and places it in the center of the ring. The bloodied Puerto Rican grabs the bloodied Panther, and whips him into the ropes. SPIIIIINNNEEEEBUUUSSSTTTERRRRRRRRRR!!!! ONTO THE CHAIR!!! Tha Puerto Rican gets up, while the crowd stands up, and gives PRL a MIXED REACTION~!!! He gets ready

Edited by Tony149

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*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall.

 

CUE: Punishment by Biohazard

 

“YEAAAHHHHHHHH”

 

The crowd cheers as Rick Heyross walks out through the curtain with his client “The Current Big Thing” Brock Ausstin right behind him. One Happy Happy Hoss Dance~! later, and they make their way down the aisle.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Rick Heyross, he is from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in tonight at 320 pounds. He is the Current Big Thing, Brrrrrrroooooooock Ausssssssssstiiiiiiin!!!!

 

“YEAHHHHHHHHHH”

 

COLE

Brock has become pretty popular since his return not long ago, wouldn’t you say?

 

COACH

The crowd is going wild for him…except that little group at ringside. Where did they come from?

 

Sure enough, about a dozen fans seen before around ringside are gone, replaced by a very vocal group who animatedly boo Brock and are holding signs reading “Brock is a Crock” and “Brock? Blech!” They all are wearing shirts that read “Prince Fan Club.” Brock’s agent Eddie just happens to be sitting among them and seemingly is coaching them.

 

CABOOSE

I smell something fishy here. Those shirts look a bit like they’re for the *other* Prince Fan Club.

 

COLE

What makes you say that?

 

CABOOSE

The fact that they’re purple, maybe?

 

Brock’s music fades as Rick massages his broad shoulders and gives him words of encouragement. The lights go out, and a steady snare drum cadence fills the arena, the beginning of Prince Killing’s theme.

 

CUE: An Ode to Killings

 

BUFFER

And his opponent. Making his OaOast wrestling debut; he is from Boise, Idaho and he weighs in tonight at 298 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the Beast from Boise, Priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiince Kiiiiiiiiilliiiiiiiiings!!!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOO (yeahhhhhhhh)”

 

Most of the capacity crowd breaks into boos, but the small group at ringside (prompted by Eddie) begins to cheer wildly as Prince Killings walks out clad in a leather bomber jacket and his sunglasses. The photographers that were following him earlier come from behind the curtain and surround him as he walks, snapping photo after photo. He walks around ringside to the group of fans, staring at Brock through his sunglasses as he does, and signs a few autographs while talking with his agent for a minute before sliding into the ring. He stands in one corner while Brock and Rick stare him down in the opposite corner. Prince sheds his jacket and hands it off to the attendant before staring at Brock and dramatically (which the camera catches with a close-up) removes his sunglasses. Those he throws to his fans, and a brief brawl breaks out over them, which security has to break up.

 

COLE

Outside of those little “trailers” he has been providing lately, we really haven’t seen how Prince is in the ring, so it should be interesting to see what he can bring to the table against Brock here.

 

Brock and Prince step towards each other, ending up face to face. Prince sizes up his opponent, a brief look of apprehension crossing his face, but he quickly gathers himself and says something to Brock, which the lip readers in the crowd interpret as “You make me look good, I don’t make you look bad.” The referee orders both men into their respective corners, shooing away a couple of Killings’ cameramen who had jumped onto the apron to get the best shot, and then signals for the bell.

 

*DING DING*

 

The two big men circle each other, one waiting for the other to make the first move. They lock up, and jockey for position all around the ring. First Brock gets the advantage and backs Killings toward the corner, but Killings quickly gets it back and moves them toward the center of the ring.

 

“AHHHHHHHHH”

 

With a yell, Killings rears back and prepares to shove Brock into the corner……but Brock doesn’t move a bit, leaving Killings to stumble and almost fall on his face. A smattering of laughter comes from some of the fans as Killings looks confused. He puts his hands up, nodding and smiling at Brock, repeating the word “ok”. He puts up two fingers, saying “Take 2” to him. They circle and lock up again, each trying to get an advantage and again Killings rears back.

 

“AHHHHHHHH”

 

But Brock doesn’t move again, and this time Killings DOES fall face first to the mat, drawing open laughter from the crowd, and even Triple-C.

 

COLE

Brock isn’t exactly being cooperative for Prince, is he?

 

Killings gets back to his feet, rubbing his nose. Annoyed, he stares at Brock and sighs, telling him “One more time, and I’m going to get mad.” They lock up a third time, with a little more “oomph” from Killings this time.

 

“AHHHHHHHH”

 

The scream is a little more pronounced so Brock is clear what Prince is going for, but this time Brock doesn’t let go, instead shifting his weight and sending Prince into the corner hard, the impact sending Prince again flat on his face to big cheers. Now visibly angry, Prince quickly gets back to his feet and right into Brock’s face yelling, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, you big idiot?” before making a huge mistake.

 

*SLAP* “Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!”

 

COACH

Uh oh. I really don’t think that’s the kind of thing you do to get a monster’s attention.

 

Brock’s head whips to the side, recoiling from the slap. When it comes back around, a big smile is on his face. The crowd begins to cheer, knowing what is coming…..

 

*BAM* “YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

…..as Brock floors Killings with a huge clothesline. He quickly pulls Killings up by the hair and *BOOM* drives a clubbing blow into his back, *BOOM* and another *BOOM* and another. Brock sends Prince off the ropes and ducks down, giving Killings a good three seconds of hangtime on a back body drop. Killings shakily gets to his feet and feebly charges at Brock, but Brock snatches him up and takes him over with a belly to back suplex. Killings holds his back as he gets up, only to turn around into a boot to the stomach and Brock putting him on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry.

 

COLE

Prince’s career might be over even before it begins!

 

But, wriggling like a worm, Prince is able to get off Brock’s shoulders and slides out of the ring to the relative safety of his agent and his fans around ringside. The cameramen surround him and snap away as Prince consults with his agent. The camera picks up Killings seemingly saying that he wants to quit, but Eddie reminds him of all Killings stands to gain and whispers something else into his ear. Prince looks at Brock as he does so, and looks at Eddie with a bit more reluctance than before, but slides back into the ring. His fans try to start up a supportive chant, but are drowned out by the rest of the crowd.

 

“Let’s go Killings!!”

“KILLINGS SUCKS!!!”

“Let’s go Killings!!”

“KILLINGS SUCKS!!!”

“Let’s go Killings!!”

“KILLINGS SUCKS!!!”

 

The two men lock up once more, and Killings grabs a headlock. Brock shoots him off and Killings tries a clothesline….but Brock won’t budge. He tries again….nothing. He builds up a full head of steam once more off the ropes, but Brock sidesteps and nails Killings with a boot to the face on the rebound. He goes for the cover.

 

1…..

 

2…..

 

Kickout by Killings.

 

Brock pulls him up by the hair and goes for an Irish whip, but Killings twirls around and tries to reverse it, but Brock won’t budge choosing instead to yank Knight into his arms and back him hard into the corner.

 

COACH

Just complete domination by Brock so far. I don’t know if Killings will be able to get any offense in at all here.

 

CABOOSE

Nice job idiot, you just jinxed the guy.

 

Brock backs up for a charge at Killings, but he manages to sidestep him and *THWACK* Brock hits the ringpost with his shoulder.

 

CABOOSE

See? Go get me a soda, ho.

 

Killings takes the opportunity and jumps on Brock’s back, trying to put him down with a sleeper hold, and the ref has to shoo another photographer that has jumped onto the apron. Meanwhile, Brock reaches over his head and pitches Killings to the mat, but Prince grabs his leg, tripping Brock to the mat and putting on a front facelock.

 

COACH

Why doesn’t the ref just order those photographers out of there?

 

COLE

Apparently, I’m being told, those photographers were part of the contract. Killings wanted them to capture this match from every angle. We already HAVE photographers to do that, though.

 

Killings releases the facelock and goes behind Brock, locking in a rear chinlock and digging his knee into Brock’s back while mugging for the cameras. Brock struggles to get to his feet, causing Killings to jump on his back again and try to choke him out, but Brock simply falls backward, squashing Prince into the mat. He lies on top of him for a cover.

 

1…..

 

 

2…..

 

 

Prince kicks out again.

 

Brock tries another Irish whip, but Killings reverses and catches Brock on the rebound with a flying shoulder tackle. He finally gets the tempo going again.....with another chinlock. Again, the photographers snap away as Killings puts on an intense face.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

 

The fans, already annoyed by Killings over the last few weeks, let him have it for dragging the match down to a snail’s pace.

 

CABOOSE

What the hell? Did he spend those three months training watching Christian matches?

 

“BOOOOOORRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGGG”

“BOOOOOORRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGGG”

“BOOOOOORRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGGG”

 

20,000 strong let out their displeasure for Killings with one word. Frantically, Eddie gets the fans to start a “Killings” chant in the same cadence, but the rest of the crowd takes it up to mock Prince instead.

 

“KIIIIIIIIILLLLLIIIIIIINGS”

“KIIIIIIIIILLLLLIIIIIIINGS”

“KIIIIIIIIILLLLLIIIIIIINGS”

 

Angry, Prince releases Brock to yell at the fans, which lustily boo him and give him the ‘ol single finger salute in response. This allows Brock to get back to his feet and sneak to the corner opposite of Killings and squat down.

 

COACH

Good, please end the torture Brock!!

 

Killings finishes trading insults with the fans and turns only when he spots Eddie frantically pointing to something behind him. Killings turns…..

 

*BAM*

“YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

…and eats a spear. Brock quickly goes for the cover.

 

1……

 

 

 

 

2……

 

 

 

“AWWWWWWWW”

 

The crowd groans as Prince gets his shoulder up before the three. Even Brock has a disgusted look on his face, since he wants to end this as well. He clubs Prince in the back, but Prince doesn’t seem to feel it. Again, and Prince stumbles to his feet, shaking his arms, eyes wide open.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

 

COLE

Oh, come on……

 

Brock hits him again, and Prince goes over to the ropes, shaking them fiercely. One more blow and Prince sticks his finger out, wagging it at Brock. Brock sighs and rears back, letting Prince block his right hand….

 

*WHAM*

 

….before using his left arm to lay him out with a hard clothesline. Brock waves his hands and says “That’s it before muscling Killings onto his shoulders. A photographer jumps on the apron to get a shot, and an extremely frustrated Ausstin drops Killings and shoves him off the apron…..his camera flying out of his hands and landing in the ring next to Killings, almost like it was thrown.

 

COLE

Hey, wait. Brock, look out.

 

The referee, like referees do, ignores the action in the ring to make sure the photographer is ok as Brock goes over to finish off Killings.

 

*DING (snap)*

 

Killings hits Brock with the camera, which doesn’t really hurt him much, but he also depresses the flash button, causing the resulting flash of light inches from his eyes. Brock stumbles back, and Killings rolls him up, grabbing the tights and yanking them so much, they almost slip completely off Brock. The ref sees the pin and slides back in the ring.

 

COLE

NO! Come on, kick out.

 

1…..

 

 

 

 

 

2…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

3…..

 

*DING DING*

 

”BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

COACH

You can’t win any cheaper than that!!

 

CABOOSE

Even I never resorted to using a Canon.

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner, Priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiince Kiiiiiiiiillllliiiiiiiings!!!

 

Prince quickly slides out of the ring as his fans go wild, guaranteeing they will probably get beaten up later when they take their bathroom break. The ref raises his arm and is soon pushed aside by Eddie, who keeps Prince’s arm raised and points at his client. In the ring, Brock rubs his eyes and tries to blink away the bright spots while Rick complains to anyone who will hear him. The remaining photographers surround Prince again, most on their 10th roll of film by now.

 

COLE

Well, that was a….uh….interesting debut by Prince Killings. I think I might have zonked out there about three times.

 

CABOOSE

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we’ve found someone who’s a bigger joke than Alfdogg as OaOast champion.

 

Prince drinks in the reaction he gets as we cut backstage.

Edited by Tony149

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Jesse "The Body" Ventura and the Heavenly Rockers are standing in front of a row of SLOT MACHINES with an AngleMania banner hanging overhead. The Heavenly Rockers look stylish in their leather biker jackets and pants. A sparkling silver glove is over Logan's head, while a cast covers the right hand Tiffany once used for his.

 

VENTURA

Jesse "The Body" here with the self-proclaimed "greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time," the Heavenly Rockers. Tiffany Ruutu and Logan "Usher" Mann, we're just minutes away from the moment you guys have been waiting for. Tonight we see if you and the New New Midnight Express can finally blow it off.

 

TIFFANY

Moment we's been waiting for, Mr. V? Bro, Mann and Ah have been countin' down the days till we'd be able to do some very, very bad things to da New New Midnight Express. Those mothers have thunkin' they've been better than us since day one. They think just because they know all these whack moves they'll be able to beat us. Well, Logan is from the NYC, and we both currently make our crib in Sin City, Las Vegas, daddy. I thought Mr. C was a cool playa; it turned our he was just a playa. He's been going 'round talkin' smack about how we's hasn't beaten da NNMX. All ya's gotta do is check out Anglepalooza and Zero Hour from ya's local Blockbuster video and sees we had 'em beat twice. Twice! But some crazy sh-- Oh, I promised my mama Ah wouldn't cuss tonight, but everybody who saw those two thrillas know we had 'em beat twice. Tell the homies like it is, Mann.

 

LOGAN

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet because I'm ready to crack some skulls New Yawk/Sin City style, baby. My woman Holly-Wood already beat your ass earlier tonight and made a women out of ya, Jamie Cornette. Now it's time for the Heavenly Rockers to make women out of the New New Midnight Express. I never trusted you from the beginning, James E. But I gotta admit, your nack for the unexpected kinda rubbed off on me. For that I thank you. 3 months of rage will be taken out on you sorry asses! It's time to rock 'n roll.

 

The camera zooms in on Jesse, cutting the Heavenly Rockers out of the picture.

 

VENTURA

I'd say both teams are ready to go, wouldn't you? Heh heh. Over to you, Tony Schiavone.

 

CUT TO:

 

Tony Schiavone, Jim Cornette and the New New Midnight Express in front of the same row of slot machines, with an OAOAST banner ovehead instead.

 

Jim Cornette is dressed very flamboyantly in a black tuxedo with tailcoat, gold collar, gold bow-tie and gold sparking pants. The New New Midnight Express are dressed in their traditional matching silver vests with initials on the breastpocket and "MX" on the back, and their black trunks with red star on the front and "MX" on the back. Cornette playfully shakes his head and adjusts his glasses, stroking his golden tennis racket, while the New New Midnight Express stand besides him.

 

SCHIAVONE

It certainly hasn't been a pleasant two weeks for my guests at this time. Not only have the New New Midnight Express escape the jaws of defeat at the hands of the Frankensteiners within the last two weeks, but this Thursday night, former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Alfdogg, who we will see in action later tonight, got some payback on you, Jim Cornette...

 

CORNETTE

Better him than my ex-wife.

 

SCHIAVONE (CONT'D)

...for some comments made nearly a year ago. It's up to the New New Midnight Express to prevent J.C.E. from having a losing night at AngleMania.

 

CORNETTE

Rome wasn't built in a day, Tony Schiavone, nor did it fall in a day. Everybody has been keeping a watchful eye on Jim Cornette Enterprises waiting for the news to come that J.C.E. has folded, that we can no longer go. Well, brother, I'm here to tell you and everybody out there that J.C.E. is alive and well, and look forward to branching out into other ventures. You see, all my money rides on the New New Midnight Express, everything else is just icing on the cake; just ask Holly-Wood, who used a loophole founded by my legal team to avoid facing yours truly. Where Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned go, I go. Which brings to be the Heavenly Rockers. Oh yeah, cute name, guys. Kick it old school and call yourselves whatever you want, but you punks have gone absolutely nowhere since losing my managerial genius. Yeah, now you may have thousands over fans cheering you every night, but those cheers won't get you what you want -- the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship. Believe me, I know. Because back in 1989 the Midnight Express began hearing -- and accepting -- the cheers of the fans. We floundered that one year as we saw the Road Warriors, the Varsity Club, the Freebirds and the Steiner Brothers in the title hunt. It wasn't until we saw the error of our ways and changed our attitudes that the Midnight Express regained championship gold in the form of the United States Tag Team Championship because the NWA World Tag Team Champions were too afraid of us. Fast forward to 2005 and replace the Midnight Express with you, Heavenly Rockers. The fans will be your downfalling. They'll make you weak. They'll make you lose your killer instinct. If you couldn't beat the New New Midnight Express with me on your side, what makes you think you can beat them with those jerks on your side?

 

NED

Holly. Oh, Holly. I know what you're thinking, Honey Bunny: "God, this match can't happen any sooner. I so want to feel the warmth of my Neddy bear once more. Oh Father, I ask you to bless me with the bliss of Narcissistic Ned Blanchard." Well, baby, it's only a matter of time before your prayers are answered. Soon we will be together once more. Soon you will feel the warmth of my body on top of yours. Soon you will have my seed planted into your beautiful garden, which I shall water with my perfect sperm. Just hold yourself together for a few more minutes.

 

CORNETTE

I've been to Wrestlemania. I've been to Starrcade. But Anglemania is a whole different beast, brother. It's like the Super Bowl, World Series, NBA Finals, NCCA tournament, and World Cup all rolled into one. You can feel the excitement in the air. Heavenly Rockers, we'll be sure to have fun at the after party while you guys are in the hospital.

 

A STEEL CAGE is rolled past the interview position by Head of Security Carl Winslow and a group of OAOAST officials, momentarily grabbing the attention of those around them.

 

CORNETTE

(laughs)

I feel sorry for the poor animal that'll have to stay in that thing.

 

SCHIAVONE

Funny you should bring that up, because that "poor animal" happens to be you, Jim Cornette.

 

Cornette glances over at Simon and Ned, then Tony Schiavone. He pulls a handkerchief from the breastpocket of his tuxedo and wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead.

 

CORNETTE

(faint chuckle)

Boy, it sure is gettin' hot in here, ain't it, Tony? I coulda sworn I heard ya say I'm gonna be in that cage.

 

SCHIAVONE

I did. And you are.

 

The Midnights and Jim Cornette are livid.

 

CORNETTE

Wha...What... First it's allowing tennis rackets in both teams' corners, now this. The OAOAST can screw with me all they want, but no matter how much the OAOAST tries stacking the odds against me and my men, we'll overcome them to win. We always do.

 

Tony Schiavone watches Jim Cornette and the New New Midnight Express storm away.

 

COLE

Wow! What a bombshell. Jim Cornette will be locked inside a steel cage at ringside! This will turn out to be an even playing field after all.

 

As we cut back to the arena, Carl Winslow and a group of OAOAST officials are now at ringside next to cage Jim Cornette will be confined in. A camera place inside the cage shows us what little room there is to move around.

 

Split-screen: TWO TENNIS RACKETS dangling down the steel hook that connects the turnbuckles to the ringpost by a piece of velcro attached to the tag rope.

 

BUFFER

The following tag-team contest is the Game, Set, Match! Tennis rackets have been place at both teams respective corners to be used at will. If the New New Midnight Express are victorious, then under the agreement signed in the contract, Holly-Wood must become Narcissistic Ned's love slave for 90 days. However, if the Heavenly Rockers win, Jim Cornette will surrender all rights to "The Saints" back to Tiffany Ruutu and Logan Mann.

 

am4-NNMXVSHR.jpg

 

BUFFER

Making their way to the ring, to be introduced by their manager.

 

The thousands of fans jammed into Trump Plaza show their distain for the New New Midnight Express and their manager James E. Cornette as "Chase" hits. A sneering Jim Cornette jogs down the golden yellow aisle ahead of the New New Midnight Express, stroking his tennis racket.

 

COLE

Hold on. Why is Jim Cornette bringing a tennis racket with him? The OAOAST has supplied the rackets for both teams to ensure everything is on the up and up. What's this all about?

 

CABOOSE

People have their preferences, Cole. I bet the rackets supplied by the OAOAST aren't the brand Jim Cornette likes to play with, if you know what I mean.

 

COLE

I do. You mean he wants the New New Midnight Express to have one of those loaded rackets he uses.

 

CABOOSE

That's a myth. Like the Original Elite claiming to be the men who made the OAOAST.

 

Jim Cornette climbs up the ring steps and holds the ropes up for Sarcastic Simon and Narcissisitic Ned. He then steps into the squared circle and grabs the mircophone from ring announcer Michael Buffer.

 

CORNETTE

All right. Ladies and gentlemen, here they are. They've put more men in body bags than every Quentin Tarantino movie combined. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned, the New New Midnight Express!

 

Narcissistic Ned grabs the mic from Cornette, who walks to the corner.

 

NED

And the man who makes the world go 'round and 'round...

 

COLE

He's round, all right.

 

CABOOSE

Shh.

 

NED (CONT'D)

...Mr. Jim Cornette!

 

Cornette climbs onto the second turnbuckle, swinging his tennis racket overhead as he hoots and hollers. He looks directly into the camera shooting on the ring apron and gives a big thumbs up. He takes the vests from Simon and Ned and drops then on the apron.

 

COLE

Let's see if he's doing that in a few minutes. Back to Michael Buffer.

 

BUFFER

And their opponents. From Sin City, weighing 448 pounds, the self-proclaimed "greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time," Tiffany Ruttu and Logan "Usher" Mann, THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!

 

The strobe lights begin going crazy inside Trump Plaza as "Heart-Shaped Box" drowns out "Chase."

 

BOOM!

 

A loud blast on the entranceway. Tiffany and Logan walk through the cloud of smoke caused from the pyro, turning around to look at all the peopled packed into Trump Plaza, clearly excited about their first AngleMania. The Heavenly Rockers slap the fans' hands as they head to the ring, keeping their eyes locked on the New New Midnight Express like a couple of heat-seeking missles. Tiffany and Logan pause near the cage and look it over, big smiles on their faces. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned stand in front of their manager, urging the Heavenly Rockers to get in the ring already. Tiffany and Logan remove their leather jackets and slide into the ring. The Midnights meet them near the ropes head-on. With referee Charles Robinson trying to store some order in the ring, Jim Cornette rips away the tennis racket hanging in the New New Midnight Expresses corner and throws it in the crowd, giving some lucky fan a souvenir, replacing it with the one he brought to ringside.

 

COLE

I knew it! I knew there was a reason Cornette brought out his own racket. That thing's probably loaded.

 

CABOOSE

Myth. It's a myth.

 

Simon and Tiffany and Ned and Logan have paired off in separate corners, brawling all over the ring. They fall outside. Tiffany Ruutu bodyslams Sarcastic Simon on the arena floor, while Narcissistic Ned is sent shoulder-first into the ringpost. Blanchard thrown back into the ring. Logan hops on the apron and climbs up the turnbuckles, all the way to the top...MISSLE DROPKICK! Back outside, Jim Cornette throws down the timekeeper and takes away his STEEL CHAIR. Sarcastic Simon catches Tiffany with a lowblow as he was picking him back up, and RAMS HIM HEAD-FIRST INTO THE CHAIR Cornette holds up for him. Cornette tosses the chair to Simon who repeatedly wallops Tiffany in the back. Even Cornette himself gets in a few blows, kicking Ruutu in the stomach while he's keeled over on all fours. Logan sees the double-teaming going on outside and exits the ring. He chases after Jim Cornette. Sarcastic Simon ducks down and waits for Logan to come his way. After running around the ring, narrowly escaping the clutches of Carl Winslow, Cornette waddles past Singleton, giving the Sultan of Sarcarsm the heads up Logan is right behind him.

 

POW!

 

A sickening THUD echos throughout the arena as Logan falls backwards following the CHAIRSHOT to the face. Cornette watches in the background, with a twinkle in his eye, as Sarcastic Simon stomps the fallen Mann. That twinkle turns into a wrinkle when James E. sees a huffing and puffing Head of Security, Carl Winslow, charging towards him. The Prince of Polyester avoids capture by diving into the ring -- only to be blindslided by a Charles Robinson CLOTHESLINE! The crowd pops big as Charles is in charge, calling over Winslow to put Cornette in his place -- the steel cage!

 

CABOOSE

What was that?! The referee has no business whatsoever putting his hands on James E.

 

COLE

If Cornette hadn't violated the ruling he must be incarcerated during the match, then maybe he wouldn't have been taken in by force.

 

Cornette sells the clothesline as if he's been shot. Winslow and a couple of officials pull a groggy Jim Cornette out of the ring and inside the cage. Corny makes one last gasp at freedom by leaping towards the cage door, only to have it slammed right in his face!

 

Sarcastic Simon tosses Logan into the ring, and the bell officially rings.

 

* DING DING DING DING *

 

COACH

(laughs)

We've witnessed some awesome action, and the match just officially got underway.

 

Narcissistic Ned pats Simon on the shoulder, telling him "This one's mine." He picks Logan up and rams him head-first into the top turnbuckle. Mann is punished in the corner with right hands to the jaw. Blanchard takes a few steps back, pointing his index finger in the air, as he throws a thrust kick-- that is blocked by Logan! The reflection of perfection that needs no insepection swings wildly at Logan as he bounces on his left leg to maintain his balance. Logan looks around the arena, the fans behind him and Tiffany, who has finally made it up on the apron after being brutalize earlier in the bout with the chair, all the way. Mann steps-over and knocks the Handsome Hustler off his feet with a SPIN-HEEL KICK right between the eyes! Mann hits the far-side of the ropes and connects with a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THRE-- KICKOUT!

 

Mixed reaction from the crowd, many of whom believe that should of been a 3. Even Logan argues it was a 3, though it was clearly a two count. Mann trying to make his case with Charles Robinson allows Narcissistic Ned to thumb him in the eye and toss him outside the ring, near Jim Cornette's cage noless, via the belt on his leather pants. From his knees, Blanchard wraps his arms around Charles Robinson, using him to pullself up, although he's really distracting Charles from what's going on outside.

 

COLE

This match means so much to the Heavenly Rockers. After making a name for themselves in the music world, they wanted to do the same in professional wrestling. They left Holly-Wood in favor of the false promises made by Jim Cornette. As it turned out, Cornette just wanted to suck dry Tiffany and Logan's money.

 

Sarcastic Simon jumps off the ring apron with a double-axehandle to the back, sending Mann crashing into Cornette's cage. Cornette grabs a handful of afro and rams Logan's head into the steel bars while Simon rabbit-punches him, angering the fans ringside. Meanwhile, in the ring, Tiffany is trying to get Charles Robinson to turn his attention outside, but a combination of Charles trying to get him out and Narcissistic Ned egging him on makes his noble effort worthless. Logan frees himself from Cornette's grip and clotheslines Sarcastic Simon. Logan sticks his arms into the steel bars trying to get a hold of a laughing Jim Cornette. Probably the only time Cornette is happy he's locked inside the cage because the Heavenly Rockers can't reach him. Sarcastic Simon charges Mann from behind, who moves out of the way and sends Simon running into the cage. Singleton staggers back towards the edge of the ring with his hands over his face. Simon is spun around, dropped on his back with double-leg takedown, and then CATAPULTED INTO THE CAGE, rattling the cage and Jim Cornette!

 

The crowd cheers wildly as Logan jumps back on the apron and SPRINGBOARDS to the top. Blanchard turns around and is taken off his feet with a DIVING SOMERSAULT! Mann rolls back to his feet, hits the ropes, calls Tiffany in, and the two connect with RUNNING DOUBLE DROPKICKS TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD as Ned sits back up! The Heavenly Rockers with some more double-team offense, as Synth drops a big elbow while Logan crashes all his weight down on Ned with a big splash. Jim Cornette is furious outside in his cage. Sarcastic Simon comes in to help his partner, but the Heavenly Rockers catch him running towards them and shoot him to the ropes. DOUBLE FLAPJACK! An F-U from the Heavenly Rockers to the New New Midnight Express. Stealing a page out of their playbook. Ruutu applies a front facelock on Narcissistic Ned and then takes him to his corner, a place once referred to as "Saints Central", where a tag is made to Logan. Mann goes to the top, Tiffany lifts Ned up a vertical suplex. CROSS BODYBLOCK/VERTICAL SUPLEX combo.

 

COLE

Divine Intervention!

 

Tiffany exits. Logan with the cover.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

BOOM!

 

Mann winces in pain after being blasted across the back with the TENNIS RACKET, the first time the rackets have come into play all night, by Saracstic Simon. Singleton prepares to strike Mann again, until the man formerly known as Synth Esizer drills him with a FLYING FOREARM -- using the hand covered in a cast! Simon rolls out of the ring, leaving Narcissistic Ned alone with the Heavenly Rockers. Tiffany sees the tennis racket lying on the floor and points at it while staring into the crowd, whose cheers tell Tiffany everything he needs to know. He picks up the racket and stalks Narcissistic Ned, waiting for the Handsome Hustler to get back to his feet. Blanchard uses the near-side ropes to pull himself up, not knowing what's waiting behind him. Jim Cornette is screaming for him to fall outside, but Blanchard can't see him, and he's probably still woozy from being on the receiving end of the Heavenly Rockers' Divine Intervention. Narcissistic Ned slowly turns around...

 

WHAM!

 

Tiffany CLOBBERS Ned! Luckily for Blanchard, he managed to block most of the impact to his face, but it still caught the edge of the forehead. The cover!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THRE-- NO!

 

There's a massive sigh in the arena. The action stops as everybody soaks in what just happened. Logan places his hands on his head, shock in his eyes. He looks over to Tiffany, who can only shrug his shoulders. Jim Cornette looks like he just had a heart attack, counting his lucky stars Ned managed to kickout. The fans break the silence when one side of the arena begins chanting "HEAVENLY," the other side "ROCKERS!"

 

"HEAVENLY ... ROCKERS!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap

 

"HEAVENLY ... ROCKERS!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap

 

"HEAVENLY ... ROCKERS!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap

 

The Heavenly Rockers acknowledge the chant, pumping their fists in the air. Logan picks Blanchard up and fires him into the corner, where he unleashes a barrage of lefts, kicks, and knife-edge chops. He leaps onto the second turnbuckle and bashes the forehead of the Handsome Hustler with rapid left hands.

 

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10!

 

Narcissistic Ned falls to his knees, then nose-dives to the canvas. The Heavenly Rockers make a tag, and Tiffany returns to the ring. He scoopes Ned up and slams him near the corner. He backs up against the corner and pulls himself up to the second turnbuckle, where he comes off with a FLYING ELBOWDROP!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THR-- NO! SHOULDER UP!

 

Tiffany picks Ned up and Irish whips him arcoss the ring. Blind tag made by the New New Midnight Express. Charles Robinson signals a tag was made. Blanchard ducks under a clothesline attempt, and he and Simon DOUBLE FLAPJACK Tiffany as he turns around. Cover made.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Sarcastic Simon grabs Tiffany's right arm and drags all the way to his corner. While continuing to hold onto the arm, Simon slides outside and slams Tiffany's right hand against the ringpost. Tiffany screams in pain as he pulls his hand back into the ring and clutches it. Simon reaches into the ring and grabs the arm, once again slamming it against the ringpost. Singleton re-enters the ring, stretching Ruutu's arm out and repeatedly driving the knee into the arm. Armbar applied, and Tiffany immediately flips over, rising back to his feet and sweeping Simon's legs out from under him with his free hand, knowing the type of damage the armbar would cause if left on for an extended period of time. Tiffany leaps over Simon, trying to get back to his corner to make the tag, but Simon grabs his leg and pulls him down. Sarcastic Simon floats over the top and scoopes Tiffany up, wrapping his right arm behind his back and slamming him to the mat. Hammerlock slam.

 

COACH

Notice how the tennis rackets have yet to play a major part of this match. Both teams wanting to get it on man-to-man as much as possible.

 

CABOOSE

Just the way it should be. This is AngleMania. Like our opening says: What the world is reading.

 

Simon brings Tiffany back to his feet and goes back to the armbar, dragging him to his corner and making the tag to Narcissistic Ned. Blanchard enters the ring and hops up onto the second turnbuckle, coming off with a double-axehandle to Tiffany's outstretch arm. Ruutu walks around the ring holding his arm close to his chest. Ned grabs the arm and wraps it around the ring ropes, which is just a piece of covering over wire cables, pulling back on the fingers. Tiffany fights back with left hands -- weak left hands. He's naturally right handed, but that hand is too injured to do anything. Ned with a quick elbow to the midsection. Snapmare takedown. Ned comes out of the corner and snaps Tiffany's neck forward a la the late Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig. Ned runs over to the Heavenly Rockers' corner and slaps Logan, the man he claims "stole" his "girlfriend," OAOAST Women's Champion Holly-Wood. The New New Midnight Express double-team Tiffany in the ring. Sarcastic Simon grabs the right arm and slams it on top of the ringpost, sending a shooting pain through Tiffany's hand and arm. The arm is once again slammed on the top of the ringpost, this time CRACKING OPEN the cast protecting the hand. The referee runs across the ring and warns the NNMX about the double-teaming. Narcissistic Ned tears away the cast and bulldogs the arm into the mat, applying an armbar afterwards. Tiffany is dragged back to the NNMX corner, where a tag is made. Simon comes in and takes over the armbar. Singleton drives the point of the elbow into the arm, knocking Tiffany to one knee following a hard kick to the back of the leg. Simon cranks down on the arm, placing it on the mat and using his left foot to hold it down as he drops a knee on it. Hammerlock applied. Sarcastic Simon pressing all his weight on Tiffany, grinding the elbow into the arm. Another tag made by the NNMX, as Narcissistic Ned tags Simon's foot. Singleton holds onto the hammerlock, allowing Narcissistic Ned to stomp the arm before taking over the hammerlock from his partner. Tiffany pounds the mat with his left hand in frustration. Logan encourages his partner on from the apron, getting the crowd back into it by slapping the top turnbuckle. Logan rises back to his feet and tries to break free from the hammerlock by throwing back elbows to Ned's head, but Blanchard makes sure to keep his head tucked down. Ned hooks Tiffany from behind and drops him on his arm with a BACK HAMMERLOCK SUPLEX. Ned tags Simon back in. As Singleton climbs to the top, Ned holds Tiffany's arm out. FLYING KNEEDROP TO THE BROKEN ARM! Tiffany rolls around in pain, and is covered by Simon.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THR-- KICKOUT!

 

COLE

I know I've been hard on-- both members of the Heavenly Rockers for that matter -- in the past, but Tiffany's showing a lot of heart here. He's taken a considerable amount of punishment on that right hand, but he's not quitting. It's the biggest night of their wrestling careers and he's gutting it up. You gotta respect that.

 

Sarcastic Simon hangs Tiffany throat-first on the top rope and quicks him between the legs in the midsection. Blanchard enters and hits the far-side of the ropes, floating over Singleton and coming down with a double-axehandle to the spine of the back. Tiffany slides down the ropes and lies face-first on the mat. Logan finally has enough of seeing his partner beaten, so he jumps into the ring and begins hitting the Midnights across the back with the tennis racket. Charles Robinson nearly has to tackle Logan in order to restrain him. While Charles escorts Mann back to his corner, Simon and Ned take turns beating Tiffany with their own tennis racket.

 

"LET'S GO TIFFANY!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

"LET'S GO TIFFANY!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

"LET'S GO TIFFANY!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

Tiffany sent hard into the corner. The NNMX with a tag. Narcissistic Ned comes in and pulls Tiffany out of the corner, once again applying a hammerlock, this time ramming back into the corner. Tiffany thrown over the top rope. Knowing full well the referee will prevent him from going after Tiffany, Narcissistic Ned struts over to the ropes and waits for Charles Robinson to stop. Right on cue, Charles stops him. Telling him to step back and let him administer the 10 count. Sarcastic Simon jumps off the ring apron and slams Tiffany's arm onto the security railing. The Tiffster walks away from Simon, pain etched on his face. Singleton grabs the arm again, but Tiffany fights back, firing up the crowd, with open-handed slaps to the face. Kneelift to the midsection puts an end to any possible rally. Ruutu rammed shoulder-first into the ringpost. He slumps against the post, the sweat running down the left side of his face, barely standing, his knees just inches from touching the ground. Simon takes Tiffany over to Jim Cornette and throws him up against the cage. Cornette pulls Tiffany's injured arm into the cage and twists it while Sarcastic Simon unloads with straight right hands all the way from Charleston, South Carolina. Tiffany sent back into the ring, where Blanchard picks him up and puts him in a front facelock, once again hammerlocking the arm behind the back and hitting a SLINGSHOT HAMMERLOCK SUPLEX! Instead of going for the pin, Ned makes a tag. Sarcastic Simon ascends to the top, connecting with a FLYING ELBOWDROP to the sternum!

 

COLE

This could be it. This could very well be it. How much more can one man take?

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THRE-- NO! SHOULDER UP!

 

COLE

He kicked out! Attaboy, Tiff. The fans are back into this, sensing this is the time for the Heavenly Rockers to make their run.

 

Scoope slam. Another quick tag made by the NNMX. The ratio of tags made must heavily favor the NNMX. Narcissistic Ned stands near the corner as Sarcastic Simon goes back to the top. Blanchard throws Singleton off the top onto...NOTHING BUT CANVAS! The New New Midnight Express were going for the Rocket Launcher, but Tiffany moved out of the way. Simon rolls to the edge of the ring, giving his partner move to work with to prevent Tiffany from making a tag. Blanchard sets Tiffany up for a traditionial SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. Tiffany floats over the top, spins Ned around and out of nowhere hits PERCUSSION (DDT!)! Both men are down. Logan ushers the crowd in a chant...

 

"LET'S GO TIFFANY!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

"LET'S GO TIFFANY!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

"LET'S GO TIFFANY!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

Tiffany begins moving to the beat, getting some air circulating in his body before rolling over onto his stomach. He looks around for his corner then spots Logan jumping up and down on the bottom rope, reaching out as far as he can to make the tag. Tiffany takes one last look at the New New Midnight Express, both of whom are still down, to get a feel for how much time and space he has to make the tag. The punishment sustained during the match has clearly taken its toll on Tiffany, who slowly crawls to his corner inch by inch. We got Cornette screaming outside, and Logan screaming from the apron. Tiffany peaks back at the NNMX and sees their both beginning to stir. He DIVES towards his corner...AND MAKES THE TAG!

 

Chants of "LOGAN," not "LOHAN," go up in the arena. Usher Mann comes in firing lefts, knocking Simon and Ned off their feet a number of times. Scoope slam on Singleton. One for Blanchard as well. Logan CLOTHESLINES Simon over the top. Ned meets the same fate on the other side of the ring. Mann hits the ropes and LEAPS over the top, coming down on Sarcastic Simon outside with a cross bodyblock. PESCADO. He quickly slides back into the ring and hits the ropes again, this time diving through them and onto Narcissistic Ned, driving the elbow into the side of the face in the process. SUICIDE DIVE! He rolls Blanchard back into the ring and sets him up for PERCUSSION -- but Ned rams him into the corner. Blanchard tucks Mann between his legs and is set to take him up for a piledriver, only to be decked by a TIFFANY RUUTU FLYING CLOTHESLINE! Logan floats over the top.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THRE-- NO! SIMON BREAKS UP THE PIN!

 

Big sigh in the arena. Nobody thought Sarcastic Simon would be able to make the save on time. The Heavenly Rockers rock Simon with left hands. They whip him off the ropes for a double back bodydrop. As Simon gets back up he's kicked in the midsection and hit with DOUBLE PERCUSSION! Narcissistic Ned levels Tiffany with a big RUNNING CLOTHESLINE and drops Logan with a THRUST KICK TO THE CHIN! He covers Logan.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THRE-- NO! KICKOUT!

 

The frustration on the faces of the New New Midnight Express become more evident. Sarcastic Simon grabs the tennis racket from the Heavenly Rockers corner while Narcissistic Ned takes the one in his. He taps the racket on the mat, presumably loading it up. The Midnights wait for Logan to get back on his feet. They swing the rackets back... TIFFANY SHOVES LOGAN OUT OF THE WAY AND NED ENDS UP WHACKING SIMON! Sarcastic Simon goes flying out of the ring. The Heavenly Rockers knock Ned down with a double forearm smash to the chest. Logan grabs the loaded racket and CLOBBERS NED UPSIDE THE HEAD. The Handsome Hustler bounces off the ropes and into the clutches of Tiffany, who sets him between his legs as Logan climbs to the top. POWERBOMB/LEGDROP combo. ELECTRIC MELODY! Logan covers Ned.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE!

 

* DING DING DING DING *

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, regaining the rights to "The Saints" name, THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!

 

COLE

Tiffany and Logan's AngleMania debut is a successful one, having finally gotten their revenge on James E.'s New New Midnight Express. The Saints are marching back in!

 

Jim Cornette is going ballisitic inside the cage. The Heavenly Rockers high-five and then embrace each other. Holly-Wood runs out from the back to join Synth (he's Synth again) and Logan. Holly and Logan stand over Narcissistic Ned and KISS, drawing ooh's from the sold out crowd. Synth backs away, playfully covering with eyes. He grabs the racket and asks the crowd if he should open it up. They say yes. So he does. The casing is removed to reveal a HORSESHOE held together by TWO CHAINS forming an "X."

 

COLE

My God! Would you look at that. No wonder that racket put a lot of men out.

 

CABOOSE

Jim has a strong forehand.

 

The Heavenly Rockers/Saints and Holly-Wood exit the ring and walk past a screaming Jim Cornette. Carl Winslow comes over with the key to unlock the cage. Synth and Logan shoot each other a look. Cornette sees this and begs Carl not to unlock the cage. Logan calls for the keys, which Carl is all too happy to give him.

 

CABOOSE

What the hell is that? This isn't some prison in Iraq. What kind of official condones assault and battery?

 

COACH

Carl Winslow, that's who. It's time for my people to fight the power.

 

CABOOSE

My word. Somebody tell me my match is up next.

 

COLE

That would be the Dude vs. Calvin.

 

COACH

Heh. You're stuck with us for another two matches, 'Boosey.

 

Logan unlocks the cage door and pulls Cornette out by the tie. Cornette asks Logan if he'd really hit a man with glasses. Logan ponders the question, scratching his head. Then along with Synth AND Holly punch Cornette! All 3 pick Cornette up off the floor and throw him into the ring. James E. has trouble rising back to his feet. He probably wishes he didn't when he's kicked in the stomach by Synth and Logan, who hit PERCUSSION! Holly hooks the legs and turns that mama's boy over for the HOLLYWOOD GROOVE (Liontamer)! After hearing the screams out of Cornette's mouth, Holly lets go and watches along with the Heavenly Rockers as Jim Cornette lies on his back holding his knee in pain. "Heart-Shaped Box" cues up, and the fans cheer the exiting Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood.

 

COLE

I guess payback really is a bitch.

Edited by Tony149

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Special Attraction Match

Alf vs. ?

 

“The Wall” hits, with black and orange strobes probing the crowd and smoke rising from the stage, as Alfdogg makes his way down to the ring. The crowd stands in appreciation of this former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Alf rolls into the ring and poses on the middle ropes, receiving a loud ovation.

 

Ring Announcer: “From Anderson, Indiana, weighing in at Two-Hundred Forty pounds, he is a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, this is ALFDOGG!”

 

Cole: “Whether you love him or hate him, Alfdogg’s one of those guys who has been here from the very beginning, and whomever he’s called out for tonight definitely has their work cut out for them.”

 

Coach: “With his Five Star Alf Splash and wicked Spinebuster, Alf’s won many a match, including one over the man sitting next to me for the biggest prize in this company.”

 

Caboose: “Well, at least I can take solace in the fact that even on my worst day, I outdrew Alf even on his best.”

 

Cole: “Now, why do you guys keep taunting Alf about how little he drew? He’s a former champ! Doesn’t that count for something?”

 

Caboose: “We just like making fun of him.”

 

Coach: “Fair enough.”

 

Cole: “Well, Alf’s in the ring, it’s now time to see who exactly it is that he has…HEY! What the?”

 

As Cole speaks, the lights in the arena dim. Someone in the front row shouts out, “Sabu!” As soon as they dimmed, the lights begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life.

 

Coach: “I’m going to be sick.”

 

Caboose: “Do it over that way. Not over here.”

 

Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature.

 

“I ask you please just give us/

Five Minutes Alone.”

 

The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature.

 

“White America/

I could be one of your kids.”

 

Caboose: “I’ve heard this music before.”

 

Cole: “What do you mean? Like over the radio? On a CD?”

 

Caboose: “No. I’ve heard it here. Someone’s used it as their music, but I can’t recognize it or that person. It’s been a while since I’ve heard it, like a couple years.”

 

The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety.

 

“Final Prayer/

Final prayer for the human race.”

 

Caboose: “…no.”

 

Coach: “Do you know? Who is it?”

 

Caboose says nothing, a stunned look on his face. The music leaves once again and the scratches reaches its apex, as it and the lights stop, the arena again silence and pitch black. People around the arena murmer nervously to themselves. A few children are heard crying.

 

A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Until the music, “People = Shit” by Slipknot, hits.

 

Caboose: “This had better not be who I think it is.”

 

Cole: “Dammit, Caboose, who the hell is Alf facing?”

 

Caboose: “This sounds like music he’d use, and if I’m right, Alf might have bit off more than he can chew.”

 

“HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!” fills the arena, the music reached its peak of anger and rage, but still no one appears on the stage. The music continues, with still only a single spotlight for light. The music builds up again, this time with no lyrics, until, finally, a figure punches through the curtains. Wearing torn jean shorts, a torn sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. The hands are taped up with a red “X” on the back.

 

Caboose: “SHIT!”

 

The figure takes two steps forward, fully engulfed in the light and attention, and rips off the bandanas. There is no hidden surprise.

 

The ring announcer, who has been with the company for years, also recognizes who is now Alf’s opponent. He swallows hard and makes the announcement to the crowd.

 

Ring Announcer: “From South of Heaven, weighing in at 215 pounds, SANDMAN9000!”

 

Caboose: “He killed me! That son of a bitch killed me! He killed me goddammit!”

 

Coach: “What? You’re right here? How did he kill you?”

 

Caboose: “Years ago, he pushed me off the rafters and said it was for Owen! He should be dead, not me!”

 

Cole: “YOU’RE NOT DEAD!”

 

Caboose: “Alf better kill that scum, once and for all.”

 

Sandman sprints towards the ring and slides in, as the crowd can’t determine which side to take. Some chant “Sandman,” others go for “Alfdogg,” whereas most are stunned into silence.

 

Cole: “I’m being fed information about this Sandman9000 guy from our producer. He’s a former OAOAST X Division and Tag Team champion, who is known for having the most disturbing and violent matches in this company’s history. Ironically enough, this is his first AngleMania, as he was scheduled to face The Purist at AngleMania II, but walked out on the company before his match.”

 

Caboose: “He’s walked out on a lot of people Cole, and not just in this company. He’s a psychotic, immature, son of a bitch who needs to be taken out not just for the sake of the world, but for his own good. To be honest, I’m surprise he hasn’t killed himself.”

 

Coach: “That’s extremely harsh Caboose. You can’t mean that.”

 

Caboose: “I’m serious. He’s got a goddamn death wish, and not just for himself. He tried to kill EvenflowDDT I don’t know how many times, and never succeeded. Plus, he killed me Coach!”

 

The official signals for the bell as Alfdogg enters a defensive stance, fully expecting an offense onslaught from Sandman. Instead, Sandman stands ten feet away, his hands down by his sides, balled into fists, staring a hole through Alf’s head.

 

Cole: “Well, this match is underway, and these two have done nothing so far.”

 

Coach: “Maybe they’re intimated by the magnitude of this event?”

 

Caboose: “KILL HIM ALF!”

 

Alf finally approaches Sandman, his first plan not gone according to script. Alf goes for a lockup, but Sandman grabs a quick small package. The official counts, 1…Alf kicks out easily. Alf works his way to his feet, but Sandman sneaks behind and grabs a schoolboy, 1….2Alf kicks out. Alf’s up to his feet, but Sandman flips over Alf as he’s bent over in a sunset flip, 1….2…Alf kicks out.

 

Cole: “Well, for all the hype you’ve given him, Caboose, Sandman’s done nothing but gone for the win.”

 

Caboose: “He’s doing this to be a dick Cole. He doesn’t care about winning, he just wants to ruin Alf’s moment here at AngleMania. He’s the worst person on Earth.”

 

Alf rolls backward onto his feet as Sandman again goes behind for a schoolboy, but Alf steps forward instead, leaving Sandman defenseless on the ground, flat on his back. Alf spins, sees his advantage, and starts to stomp away on Sandman, as the crowd comes alive and roars in approval for Alf.

 

Six stomps later, Sandman gets away from Alf and slides towards a corner. A sick, evil stare in his eyes, Sandman makes his way to a standing position. Growling and possibly foaming at the mouth, he rips off his shirt, lets loose a piercing howl, and charges Alf, spearing him and sending the two out of the ring through the ropes.

 

Cole: “Now here we go! The intensity should pick up here a little bit.

 

Sandman rolls to his feet as Alfdogg uses the guardrail to assist him. Sandman goes after Alf with closed fists, hammering away on Alf’s head until Alf grabs Sandman by the stomach and rams him back-first into the ring apron. Sandman grimaces in pain but pounds away on the back of Alfdogg, who responds with three vicious chops to the scarred chest of Sandman.

 

Cole: “More information from our producer, these two have met before, in what I’m being told was a Christmas Deathmatch. Sandman was victorious in that match, so Alf’s got his work cut out for him.”

 

Sandman headbutts Alf, then taps his mutiliated forehead to see if he is bleeding. Seeing nothing on his hand, Sandman continues after Alf, firing away with several forearms and elbows, all directed towards the head of Alf. Alf elbows his way free and launches Sandman towards the ring post, who takes it sternum-first.

 

With his opponent in a vulnerable position, Alf charges, but Sandman moves out of the way and Alf crashes into the ring post. Sandman quickly retreats to the time keepers position, only to grab the ring bell and stalks towards Alf. Sandman raises the bell high above his head, but Alf kicks Sandman in the stomach, causing Sandman to miss his target of Alf’s face by several feet, the ringbell bouncing away on the mats.

 

Caboose: “That’s Sandman’s game, grab a weapon and try to beat someone to death with it. Usually he uses lighttubes, barbed wire, whatever the hell that’s sharp he can get his hands on.”

 

Sandman backs into the guardrail, holding his stomach, and straightens up only to be clotheslined over by Alf, into the crowd! Alf follows and picks Sandman up by his hair, but Sandman fires back with fists and forearms, driving Alf back over the guardrail and onto the ringside mats. He takes time to slap the beer out of a ringside fan’s hands, then grabs hold of the guardrail, springboards on top of it, and goes for a somersault senton. However, Alf rolls out of the way, causing Sandman’s body to nail the ringside mats!

 

Coach: “Sandman went high-risk and missed that time! Remember folks, those mats are all that separates those and every wrestler’s body from the unforgiving concrete floor!”

 

As Sandman moves to his knees, grimacing in pain and holding his back, Alf charges and dropkicks Sandman from behind, sending him face-first down to the mats. Alf drops an elbow on Sandman’s back, then lifts him up for a snap-suplex on the mats as well.

 

Cole: “Well, we know what Alf’s gameplan is know: target the back of Sandman.”

 

Caboose: “Maybe with a shotgun.”

 

Coach: “Down.”

 

In firm control of the match, Alf lifts Sandman up only to be surprised by a lunging headbutt to his forehead, with the sound of skulls cracking together heard in the cheap seats. Stunned and holding his back, Sandman moves back towards the timekeepers position and grabs a chair, winds up, and drills Alf across the back with it. Sandman tosses the chair and Alf into the ring, before dropping down and looking to see what’s underneath it.

 

Caboose: “Oh great. He’s probably got a rocket launcher or something like that down there.”

 

Cole: “I think rocket launchers are one of the few weapons actually banned here in the OAOAST.”

 

Caboose: “Even more reason for that bastard to have one down there. He’d start World War III if you gave him the chance.”

 

Instead of a rocket launcher, Sandman instead pulls a ladder out from under the ring and slides it into the ring, then follows the ladder in. Sandman lifts the ladder over his head and tries to slam it down onto Alf, but Alf rolls out of the way, barely avoiding another steel/skull collision.

 

Frustrated, Sandman stomps away on Alf, then pulls Alf up and shoots him off the ropes. Sandman goes for a massive clothesline, but Alf ducks under and comes off the ropes with a crossbody that knocks Sandman down. Alf’s momentum takes him off and away from a cover, so Alf stands and knocks Sandman down again with a spinning heel kick.

 

Quick as a cat, Alf springs up to the top rope as the crowd rises in anticipation of a Five Star Alf Splash, but Sandman lunges and hits the top rope, causing Alf to lose his balance. Instead of being crotched, Alf instead grabs onto the ropes, but it’s enough for Sandman to hook Alf’s head and grab both legs, looking to take Alf off with a muscle buster. Sandman can’t get Alf up due to Alf’s death grip on the top rope, so Sandman instead elbows Alf in the back of the head and starts to climb up. Alf shoves Sandman off and leaps for the Five Star Alf Splash, but Sandman easily rolls out of the way.

 

Cole: “Alf went for it all there, but no one was home.”

 

Coach: “It’s way too early for Alf to be thinking about his splash. Sandman’s not worn down enough.”

 

Caboose: “Maybe if Alf beats him over the head with an axe seventy thousand times, it might wear Sandman down enough.”

 

Coach: “Someone’s PMSing today…”

 

Cole: “Did you just saying something witty?”

 

Sandman grabs the chair and drills Alf across the back again, as Alf tries to recover from missing the frog splash. Sandman slams the chair down across the back of Alf twice more before slamming the chair into the mat. Sandman then grabs Alf by the hair, with Alf on all fours, and start kicking Alf in the head! Alf tries to get a hand up to defend himself, but Sandman keeps the kicks coming, eight, nine, ten, eleven, until the official shoves Sandman off.

 

Sandman eyes down the official, with bad intentions in his eyes, before moving back towards Alf. He stomps Alf once, then suddenly turns around the kicks the ref in the stomach! With the ref doubled over, Sandman lifts him up and over his shoulder, setting the ref up for a Widow’s Peak, but instead of going for the neckbreaker, snaps the ref back over and into a piledriver, whipping the official right onto his head!

 

Cole: “What the hell was that? What did the ref do to deserve that?”

 

Caboose: “SEE! He’s insane! He’ll go after anyone! He needs to be in prison, or even better, a grave.”

 

Coach: “I’ve seen that before. That’s the Barry White Driver. I’ve seen people’s necks be broken with that move.”

 

The official lies on his stomach, holding his neck and not moving. The crowd boos feverishly, firmly against Sandman at this point. However, while all attention was on the ref and Sandman, it gave Alf time to recover, and grab the ladder! As soon as Sandman turns around, Alf blasts Sandman directly in the face with the top of the ladder!

 

Caboose: “YES!”

 

Cole: “And there’s a little instant karma for Sandman!”

 

Sandman slams the ladder down onto Sandman’s body, moving Sandman’s hands away from his face, and it quickly becomes obvious that Sandman’s nose is, at best, broken, as blood is pouring out. Alf moves the ladder away and drop an elbow across Sandman’s face and covers, before realizing that there’s no ref.

 

However, with an obvious advantage, Alfdogg keeps pressing the advantage. He lifts Sandman up and slams him down with a T-Bone suplex, then back up and a second T-Bone suplex. After propping the ladder up in the corner, Alf lifts Sandman up and hits a third T-Bone suplex. Alf looks towards the ladder as he tries to lift Sandman up by his hair, but after seeing that Sandman is dead weight, goes back up top and nails a FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH! The crowd goes crazy as Alf scored with his finishing move!

 

Cole: “Alf nailed the Five Star Alf Splash! Sandman is down!”

 

Coach: “But there’s no ref! Sandman took out the ref moments ago!’

 

Caboose: “Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!”

 

Alf looks around for an official, as one finally comes running down the aisle into the ring. Alf covers, 1……2……Sandman kicks out!

 

Cole: “No surprise there. Even though Alf’s finisher is devastating, Sandman had plenty of time to kick out.”

 

Alf pounds the mat in frustration, but stands back up. He prepares to go back up top for a third Alf Splash, but thinks better of it instead. Alf quickly slides out of the ring and ducks under, looking for weapons. Alf finds a second ladder, as well as a trash can. He tosses both into the ring.

 

Alf slides back into the ring and sets his up, beginning to climb. As Alf makes it up to the fifth rung, Sandman begins to stir and move to his feet, leaving Alf in an awkward position. Alf drops down and folds up the ladder, preparing to use it as a battering ram again.

 

Coach: “Alf wanted to do the Alf Splash off that ladder, but Sandman started to get up.”

 

Caboose: “Alf’s still winning this match right now, and he’s going to win this match when it’s over! He’s gonna kill Sandman for me! For everyone!”

 

Alf rushes with a second lunge of the ladder, but Sandman dodges and knocks Alf off balance. With Alf’s back vulnerable, Sandman dropkicks Alf in the spine, knocking Alf forward and the ladder out of his hands. Sandman scrambles to grab the ladder and slams it across Alf’s back.

 

With Alf writhing in pain, Sandman lifts Alf up and onto his shoulders. Setting Alf up for a DVD, Sandman instead rushes Alf into the corner, then the opposite corner and head/neck first into the ladder. Still on his feet, Sandman brings Alf back to the middle of the ring and hits a Samoan Driver, but fails to hook the leg and cover.

 

Alf’s down on his back in the middle of the ring, Sandman comes off the ropes and hits a double-stomp on Alf’s stomach! Sandman goes off the opposite set of ropes and hits a second double-stomp on Alf! Sandman rebounds again and hits another double-stomp, but then drops into a back senton, crushing Alf’s midsection!

 

Caboose: “See! Sandman doesn’t want to win the match, he just wants to punish Alf. He wants to hurt Alf. What an asshole.”

 

Coach: “But he’s doing a number on Alf, Caboose! Eventually, Alf won’t be able to move and Sandman can win by default.”

 

Sandman moves the second ladder onto Alf’s stomach, before pounding that ladder with the chair! Feeling that Alf has been worn down enough, Sandman grabs the ladder off of Alf and starts climbing the turnbuckle, with the ladder in tow!

 

Cole: “Sandman’s not going to come off the top rope with that ladder, is he?”

 

Sandman makes it to the top rope, with his back to Alf and the ring. After setting the ladder up horizontally in his hands, Sandman steadies himself and comes off the top rope with a laddersault, that finds nothing but mat!

 

Cole: “Sandman tried to crush Alf under that ladder, but missed Alf and took the ladder to the chest!”

 

Coach: “He’s in trouble now!”

 

Sandman slowly rises, clutching his chest. Alf sneaks up behind Sandman and punches him in the back, causing Sandman to reel back and raise his arms, to which Alf grabs a full nelson and hits a release full-nelson suplex, dropping Sandman square on his head! Sandman flops to his side, eyes rolled back!

 

Caboose: “YES! Finish him Alf! FINISH HIM!”

 

The crowd and Alf also smell the kill, as Alf goes up top again, looking for another Five Star Alf Splash, this time with a ref in the ring. But as Alf climbs to the top, a man dressed in all black and wearing a black mask sprints down the ramp and grabs Alf’s leg as Alf is perched on the top!

 

Cole: “What the hell! Who is that?”

 

Alf struggles with the masked man, who still has a grip on Alf’s left leg, until Alf pounds the masked man on the head until he lets go of Alf’s leg. Alf kicks the masked man off the apron and into the guardrail, but before Alf can set himself up to jump, Sandman BLASTS Alf over the head with the steel chair, causing Alf to fall onto the ropes and back into the ring!

 

The crowd is irate as the masked man comes into the ring, picks up Alf, and hits the Old School Explusion, also known as the Afterthought!

 

Coach: “The Afterthought?”

 

Cole: “Wait, I know who used to do that move…”

 

Sandman, his nose smeared all over his face, motions to the masked man to reveal himself. After a moment of hesitation, the masked man undoes the laces on his mask, and reveals himself to be…

 

SHOOTER JAY DARRING!

 

Cole: “I knew it! Shooter Jay Darring! That son of a bitch is helping out Sandman!”

 

Coach: “But why? Didn’t Shooter Jay run Sandman out of this place?”

 

Caboose: “You’ve never heard of the Paradise City Ninjas, Coach?”

 

Coach: “Who?”

 

Caboose: “They’ve pissed off more people on the internet than I can even count. I guess it makes sense that those two pricks are working together.”

 

Darring and Sandman share a brief hug before stomping away on Alf to a chorus of boos. Of course, the more the crowd boos, the harder and faster Darring and Sandman stomp away. After what must have felt like an eternity of punishment to Alf, Sandman and Darring let up, only to pull Alf off the mat.

 

Cole: “I don’t even want to know what these two sick bastards have planned for Alfdogg.”

 

Coach: “Well, it looks like they’re going to double-team him.”

 

Caboose: “And knowing those two, it’s one in the front, one in the back.”

 

Coach: “What?”

 

Caboose: “I was trying to be witty, Coachman, but I’ll just come out and say it. Faggots. They’re faggots. F-A-G-G-O-T-S.”

 

Cole: “You’re saying their cigarettes Caboose? You’re making no sense at all!”

 

Caboose: “Forget it.”

 

Sandman gets behind Alf and sets Alf up for a back suplex, but yells out, “TO THE WINDOWS!” before he lifts Alf. Once Alf is in the air, Darring hooks Alf’s head up for a neckbreaker, and the two bring Alf down to earth simultaneously, trying to dislodge Alf’s head from his neck. Alf grabs his neck and grimaces in pain, while Darring jumps up and yells out, “TO THE WALLS!”

 

The crowd boos with a vengeful fury; even a few pieces of debris fly towards the ringside area, as Darring and Sandman celebrate their maneuver.

 

Caboose: “See? Gay, gay, gaygaygay.”

 

Cole: “What’s wrong with being gay Caboose?”

 

Caboose: “Homofag.”

 

Coach: “That’s uncalled for Caboose.”

 

Caboose: “Nuthugger.”

 

Not satisfied, Darring drags Alf back up to his feet and sets Alf up for the Stroke as Sandman comes over and grabs Alf for a Flatliner, the two combing to drive Alf’s face into the mat once again! Still unhappy, they lift Alf onto one knee, bounce of perpendicular ropes, and proceed to try and crush Alf’s skull, as Darring hits a Shining Wizard while Sandman hits a Glimmering Warlock, sandwiching Alf in the middle and driving even more blood out of him!

 

Cole: “I hope these two realize that they can just pin Alf now, and this whole thing will be over and Sandman will have won. This is just revolting.”

 

Caboose: “What have I been telling you? This isn’t about winning for Sandman, this is about hurting Alf. For fun!”

 

With Alf face-down on the mat, Sandman ties up Alf’s legs and steps through, trapping Alf’s legs behind one of his own. Punching Alf in the kidneys, he grabs Alf’s arms, lifts Alf up, puts his free leg behind Alf’s head, and stomps down, driving Alf’s face into the mat with sickening force! A small pool forms around Alf’s head after the Curb Stomp, as Sandman pulls Alf’s head up again, but this time for Darring to come off the top rope with a double-stomp of his own to the back of Alf’s head!

 

With Alf all but legally dead, the two drag Alf to a corner and prop him up against the bottom turnbuckle. After a brief conversation, the two take turn delivering bootscrapes to Alf’s bloody head! Darring connects with his right foot while Sandman uses his left, keeping Alf in a constant state of misery! After four kicks from each person, they combine for another sandwich shot, one that nearly grinds Alf’s face right off!

 

Coach: “This isn’t wrestling any more. This is an assault. This is battery. Hell, if this Sandman is as bad as you say he is, this is practically a hate crime!”

 

Caboose: “Well, you’d know.”

 

Cole: “Stop. Before we all get sued.”

 

Stopping again for another celebration, Sandman points towards the ramp with a disturbed smile on his face. Darring has a grin equally as wide, as he too points up the ramp. After a high-five, Darring leaves the ring and starts heading up the ramp.

 

Cole: “Good! Finally this Shooter Jay is getting the hell out of that ring!”

 

Caboose: “He’s not leaving. He’s getting stuff. He’s getting weapons.”

 

Coach: “How do you know that? What proof do you have?”

 

Caboose: “Because I know how this stuff works! Sandman is NEVER without weapons, EVER. He’s probably got enough stuff up there to stock an army, remember?”

 

Darring makes his way to the back as Alf lies in the corner, head pointed towards the ceiling, blood dripping down the side of his face and staining his clothes. Sandman relaxes in the opposite corner as the official checks on Alf, but Sandman springs out of the corner, sprints across the ring, and dropkicks Alf square in the face! The official screams at Sandman to stop the assault, but Sandman just has to raise his fist back for the official to duck and exit the ring.

 

As soon as Darring left, he returns, but with the cocky grin replaced with a fearful look in his eyes! Darring backs his way down the ramp, looking back towards the entrance, and for good reason: a HUGE man, also wearing a black mask, pop out form behind the curtain, pushing a dumpster!

 

Coach: “Holy shit its Manute Bol!”

 

Cole: “What?”

 

Caboose: “No it’s not. But I know who that is.”

 

The crowd rises to their feet and cheers, feeling that someone has finally come to help Alf and end this madness. Darring makes his way back to ringside area and had his back against the ring, as Sandman makes his way to the edge of the ring, also with a perplexed look on his face. The masked man slowly pushes the dumpster down the ramp towards the ring, but this whole distraction serves as extra time for Alf to recover, allowing him to rush forward and get a baseball slide on Darring, kicking him in the back of the head and sending him sprawling!

 

Cole: “Alf’s alive! Get them Alf! Get those bastards!”

 

As Sandman sees what Alf’s done, Alf connects with an uppercut directly to the mean bean machine! The crowd goes ballistic as Alf hooks Sandman up for another T-Bone suplex, but into the ladder propped in the corner 15 minutes ago! Sandman’s body bounces off the steel as the masked man finally makes his way to ringside. With Sandman at a disadvantage again, Alf drags him back into the middle of the ring and goes up top, but with the chair this time! Alf comes off the top rope with the chair in hand and nails another Five Star Alf Splash! Cover!

 

1…

.

.

2…

.

.

Darring back into the ring to break-up the pinfall! The crowd boos as Shooter Jay barely made the save in the nick of time. But just as soon as Darring makes the save, the masked man climbs onto the apron and easily steps over the top rope. Darring and Alfdogg both look up at the masked man, who quickly lunges and grabs both of their heads, engulfing them in his enormous hands! The masked man lifts both into the sky and holds them there, as if he’s contemplating something.

 

Coach: “What the hell is going on here? Who is that?”

 

Caboose: “Don’t put Jay down and kill Alf, don’t put Jay down and kill Alf…”

 

Almost on command, the masked man sets Jay back down on his feet and releases his grip, then slams Alf down to the mat at a sickening speed, shaking the entire ring! The crowd boos grow deafening as the masked man removes his mask…

 

JINGUS!

 

Caboose: “Dammit! I knew it was him! I knew it!”

 

Coach: “But why is Jingus helping out Darring and Sandman?”

 

Caboose: “I don’t know! Jingus hated Sandman since Sandman always ducked Jingus, so Sandman could always claim he was the toughest person in the OAOAST. I don’t know why Darring is working with Sandman, either. Something isn’t right here.”

 

Cole: “What’s not right is the beating these three are going to be giving Alf here!”

 

Jingus climbs back over the ropes and heads to the dumpster he brought out, looking inside. He pulls out a third ladder and slides it into the ring. Digging further into the dumpster, Jingus starts bringing out lighttubes! Dozens and dozens of lighttubes!

 

Caboose: “They’re going to murder Alf.”

 

Coach: “The match needs to be stopped right now. These three need to be arrested.”

 

Jingus starts sliding the weaponry into the ring as Darring and Sandman load up on lighttubes. Jingus also pulls a pane of glass out of the dumper and props it up against the ring apron, as well as several chairs. Jingus comes back in as Darring and Sandman loom over Alf, who is struggling to make it up to his feet. The official tries to stop all of this, but Jingus grabs the official, presses the poor man over his head, and then launches the official out of the ring down the aisle, clearing the dumpster by a good ten feet!

 

Alf makes it to his feet, just in time for Sandman to swing his first bundle of lighttubes, crushing five over the back of Alf! Alf drops down to one knee as Darring takes his shot, four over the back and shoulder of Alf! Alf drops down to both knees as Sandman grabs two more and blasts Alf over the head, forcing Alf down to all fours, where Darring connects with three more lighttubes! Darring and Sandman then begin grabbing solo lighttubes and blasting Alf over the back with them, filling the ring with spooky gas and broken pieces of glass.

 

Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Jingus hauls Alf off the mat and lifts Alf over his shoulders, into a Torture Rack position. Jingus starts to shake Alf like a rag doll before Darring and Sandman tell Jingus to hold on. Both move to the corner as Darring climbs up to the top rope. Darring comes off the top with a double-stomp to Alf’s midsection, with Alf crushed into Jingus’ beefy shoulders! Sandman scales to the top and comes off with a stomp as well, though his aim is directed towards Alf’s crimson-soaked head!

 

Cole: “Well, I don’t think that these three are going to be happy until they’ve beaten the absolute life out of Alfdogg.”

 

Coach: “But what I want to know is why these three are doing this? What motivation is there?”

 

Caboose: “I know Sandman’s doing this because he’s a sick piece of shit. But I don’t know why Shooter Jay and Jingus are doing this at all. Sandman must be giving them a lot of money.”

 

After the stomps by Darring and Sandman, Jingus sits down with the torture rack, bending Alf’s back in an unhealthy fashion. Sandman resumes stomping away on Alf while Shooter Jay talks trash with people in the crowd. Jingus heads back to the dumpster to pull more lighttubes out. Jingus slides the tubes into the ring, about twenty in all, as Sandman and Darring pull Alf back up to his feet. To everyone’s surprise, Alf shrugs them off with a flash burst of energy and strength!

 

Cole: “He’s ALIVE! Alf’s not done yet folks!”

 

Caboose: “Yes! Get them Alf!”

 

Alf drops Darring with a right hand, then does the same to Sandman. Jingus comes into the ring and charges at Alf with a roar, but Alf ducks as Jingus floors Darring with a clothesline! Alf kicks a field goal in-between Jingus’ legs to fell the big man (groin shots were always Jingus’ one weakness), then grabs about eight lighttubes in both hands, swings, and crushes the entire mass over Sandman’s head!

 

Cole: “And there’s payback to Sandman!”

 

Caboose: “Instant karma! Instant fucking karma! Kill him Alf!”

 

Sandman rolls out of the ring, clutching at his head which is now having blood pour out from the top of it. Alf follows and shoves Sandman from behind, face-first into the dumpster, turning the blue side of the dumpster nearly red, as Sandman’s face and blood splatters all over! Alf looks inside of the dumpster for more weapony, as he pulls out a thumbtack bat!

 

As Sandman slowly makes his way to his feet, Alf cracks him in the stomach with the bat, sending Sandman fleeing along the ringside area, holding his stomach and trying to pull the tacks out. A shot to Sandman’s back sends him towards the announcer’s table, where braces his body, trying to recover from the pain. Alf winds up, spits on the bat, and then obliterates the bat over Sandman’s head, actually splitting the hard plastic in two! Dozens of tacks are embedded in Sandman’s head, as he slumps against the table and convulses in pain!

 

Caboose: “I’m loving this Cole! This is the greatest thing ever!”

 

Coach: “Where is Alf finding the strength, especially after the beating he’s been taking in this match?”

 

Cole: “Wherever it’s coming from, Alf needs to keep it coming, and watch out for Jay Darring and that ham!”

 

Coach: “What? HAM?”

 

Alf sees Cole’s eyes light up and looks behind him, in time to see Jay Darring rushing over with a huge ham in his hands! Darring lunges at Alf with the ham, but Alf moves and Darring nails Sandman with the ham, sending Sandman barreling over the announcers table and into the lap of Caboose!

 

As Darring realizes his mistake, he eats a superkick from Alf, sending Darring sprawling on the outside of the ring. Sandman tries to recover from having thirty pounds of ham drilled into his head, but Caboose is pounding Sandman, trying to enact revenge!

 

Cole: “Dammit Caboose, you’re not in this match!”

 

Coach: “He’s not listening Cole. Either way, he’s got his headset off now and is strangling Sandman with the cord!”

 

Caboose tries to choke the life out of Sandman with his headset cord as Alf picks up the ham and comes around to Caboose’s side of the announce table. Alf winds up with the ham and launches it at Sandman, but Sandman sees it coming and jerks down, sending Caboose’s head into the trajectory of the ham! Caboose slumps down into his chair as Sandman frees himself from the cord and crawls away from the announce position, with Alf in hot pursuit!

 

Cole: “Caboose just took that ham right in the face! Are you ok Caboose? Speak to me!”

 

Coach: “This is insane Michael Cole. Alf needs to hurry up and win this match before one of us gets hurt! Especially me!”

 

Sandman had crawled away from the table on hands and knees, but Alf knocks him over with a swift kick to the ass. Sandman recovers and slides into the ring, with Alf close behind, but Jingus is back up and ready to intercept Alf! Jingus grabs Alf’s face with both hands, but Alf kicks a second field goal and Jingus is down again! Panicing, Sandman bounces off the ropes and throws a Yakuza Kick at Alf, who easily sidesteps it. Before Sandman can recover, Alf shoves him into the opposite ropes and catches Sandman on the rebound, lifting him for a picture perfect spinebuster onto all of the broken glass!

 

With Sandman down in the middle of the ring again and Darring and Jingus down as well, Alf once again takes the opportunity to go for the kill. He scales to the top rope as the cheers escalate, looks around to half savor the moment, half check if anyone else could interfere, and comes off the top with the highest he’s ever gotten on the FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH! Despite the ripping pain in his back and stomach, Alf immediately scrambles and covers Sandman. A third official comes sprinting down the aisle, narrowly missing the dumpster, and slides into the ring. The ref makes the count:

 

1.

.

.

.

.

.

2.

.

.

.

.

.

.

3NO! Jingus, holding his groin, makes the save at the last possible second. The crowd unleashes groans and cries of anguish as they again see Alf denied victory. Alf quickly recovers and punches away on Jingus, but is tackled by Darring. Darring starts stomping away as Jingus recovers enough to add to the onslaught. Sandman is facing the corner, trying to pull himself up using the ropes. Just as it appears that this final beating will be the end of Alf, a fifth person comes running down the entrance, also with torn jeans and a sleeveless Faith No More shirt, with a dirty afro and no mask. Unlike the previous two run-ins, the crowd erupts for this.

 

Cole: “HOLY SHIT! IT’S EVENFLOWDDT!”

 

Coach: “AND NOW ALF HAS THE HELP HE NEEDS!”

 

Evenflow slides into the ring and goes after Darring and Jingus, but the two react to the crowd and bail out of the ring. Sandman is still pulling himself up in the corner as Evenflow stands on the opposite side of the ring. Sandman finally makes it back to his feet and turns, holding his ribs, and instantly locks eyes with his eternal nemesis.

 

Time stands still.

 

Sandman and Evenflow stand on opposite sides of the ring. Sandman a beaten and bloody mess, Evenflow itching for a fight. The crowd begins a massive “EVENFLOW!” chant, urging Evenflow to again beat Sandman. The two slowly move closer, not taking their eyes off each other, not even blinking, barely breathing. Alf is down towards the side of the ring, while Darring and Jingus look on from ringside.

 

Cole: “And now one last battle! Sandman vs. Evenflow!”

 

Coach: “Evenflow always beat Sandman! And now he’s going to do it again!”

 

Caboose: “Guh. Fuck ham. Fuck Sandman.”

 

Cole: “Caboose, EvenflowDDT’s here!”

 

Caboose: “EVENFLOW! SANDMAN’S DEAD! EVENFLOW’S FINALLY GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!”

 

Sandman and Evenflow move within striking distance, but neither man dares throws the first strike. The crowd is in a rabid frenzy, awaiting the inevitable fireworks. The two are now face to face, eye to eye, monster to monster. Alf makes his way back up. Finally, Evenflow is the first one to react.

 

He smiles, and hugs Sandman.

 

And then attacks Alf, kicking Alf in the stomach and sending Alf against the ropes, firing away with fists and feet. The crowd appears ready to riot.

 

Caboose: “NOOOOOOO! WHAT THE HELL! WHY IS EVENFLOW GOING AFTER ALF!? WHY ARE SANDMAN AND EVENFLOW WORKING TOGETHER?”

 

Cole: “I don’t know why Caboose, but those two, and Darring and Jingus, they’re going to be the end of Alfdogg tonight in that ring.”

 

Darring and Jingus re-enter the ring as all four pounds away on Alf, who crumples to the ground, trying to cover up. Jingus retreats back out to his dumpser as Darring and Evenflow pick Alf back up and prop him against the ropes, tattooing his chest with chops. Sandman is leaning against a corner, trying to keep the blood out of his eyes.

 

Jingus brings a huge bag into the ring with him, then proceeds to dump the contents into the middle of the ring, about 3,000 thumbtacks! Darring and Evenflow bring Alf over to the tacks, where they lift Alf in a double suplex, then slam him down into the thumbtacks! Alf writhes in pain as the four gloat!

 

Cole: “Just pin Alf already. End this damn travesty!”

 

Alf tries to get up from the tacks, but Jingus pulls Alf up by his hair and launches him into the corner. Darring, Jingus and Evenflow all stand in front of Alf, with Sandman still back in the corner. The trio all appear to be talking to themselves, pointing to each other and discussing something, with Evenflow in the lead.

 

Coach: “They’re just debating on how they’re going to destroy Alf next.”

 

Caboose: “This match makes me lose any faith in a higher power.”

 

Finally, the three stop their talking and stare down Alf. They begin to psych themselves up, as Darring bounces on the soles of his feet, Evenflow stretches his arms, and Jingus cracks his neck. Evenflow synchronizes everyone’s actions, counting down from three.

 

Three.

 

Two.

 

One.

 

Darring, Jingus and Evenflow all turn and face Sandman.

 

The smiles on their faces are gone. The crowd goes from booing to silence.

 

A mixture of surprise, rage and fear cracks out from behind Sandman’s bloody face as he pulls himself out of the corner. He starts to point at the three people who were helping him just a few moments ago. Sandman’s jaw is dropped, his eyes the size of saucers.

 

Evenflow throws the first punch, followed by Darring and Jingus. The crowd erupts.

 

Caboose: “YES! YES! YES! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM EVENFLOW!”

 

Cole: “We don’t know what the hell is going on, but now Shooter Jay, Jingus and EvenflowDDT are beating the crap out of Sandman!”

 

Coach: “This is poetic justice everyone!”

 

Darring and Evenflow shoot Sandman off the ropes and Jingus catches Sandman on the rebound, launching him high into the air, only to crash to earth stomach-first onto the thumbtacks! Sandman rolls around in agony, only doing more damage to himself!

 

Not content to be left out, Darring stomps Sandman with Sandman back stomach-first in the tacks. Darring ties up Sandman’s legs and hooks them behind his own leg, punches Sandman in the kidney to grab his arms, and replicating what Sandman did to Alf earlier in the match, lifts and drills Sandman with a Curb Stomp, but face-first into the thumbtacks!

 

Cole: “Jeez!”

 

Caboose: “I’M LOVING IT! MORE! MORE!”

 

Sandman lifts his head, showing his face pierced in multiple areas. He writhes in agony, but Evenflow comes over and lifts Sandman up by the hair. He leads Sandman away from the tacks, then hooks Sandman’s head under his arm. He signals to the crowd, which are all standing and cheering by this point, and drills Sandman one last time with the Since U Been Gone DDT!

 

With Sandman now liftless in the ring and Alf back to his feet, the three exit the ring and start back up the aisle, with only Evenflow hanging back behind. Alf wanders over to Sandman and drops down for a cover, but suddenly thinks better of it. Alf instead drops and rolls out of the ring and heads over to the dumpster, where he grabs the pane of glass and slides it into the ring.

 

Cole: “Sandman’s done guys, what in the world is Alf thinking?”

 

Caboose: “I’m thinking he’s thinking that he’s going to kill Sandman once and for all!”

 

Alf then looks inside the dumpster and tosses in about four chairs, as well grabbing the rest of the lighttubes and placing them into the ring. Alf tosses all of the lighttubes onto the body of Sandman, before scooping up thumbtacks and sprinkling them across Sandman, who hasn’t stirred since the DDT.

 

Not happy with that, Alf places the four chairs around Sandman and lays the pane of glass over Sandman’s body! Alf then signals to the crowd and climbs up to the top rope, when he sees the ladder in the corner. Having a better idea, Alf drops down and grabs the ladder, opening it just away from the corner, and climbing up!

 

Cole: “The top rope wasn’t enough, Alf’s climbing the ladder to finally hit the Five Star Alf Splash to put Sandman away!”

 

Alf gets near the top, when he sees the other two ladders in the ring. Suddenly, Alf starts to climb down, as the crowd wonders exactly what Alf is doing. Alf grabs the second ladder and places it on the top rope and the sixth rung of the ladder, effectively creating a bridge. Alf climbs onto the bridge and has the official pass the third ladder to him, which Alf opens up on top of the ladder bridge!

 

Cole: “What the hell?”

 

Coach: “I’ve never seen anyone do that before! At least outside of bumfuck Canada.”

 

Caboose: “This better kill Sandman and not Alf.”

 

The official climbs onto the bride and holds the ladder as Alf takes a deep breath and starts to slowly climb the ladder, reaching ten, twelve, now fifteen feet high in the air! Even with the ladder as unsteady and shaky as it is, Alf finally makes it to the top of the ladder, where he crouches up top before finally standing up, his head over twenty feet high in the air!

 

Cole: “Oh…”

 

Coach: “My…”

 

Caboose: “God…”

 

Alf steadies himself for just a second, before launching off the ladder and into eternity.

 

At the peak of his jump, Alf is 22 feet in the air, all coming straight down.

 

Alf hangs in the air for approximately 2.46 seconds.

 

Alf lands on Sandman, crashing through the pane of glass and lighttubes with such force that the chairs fly outward, two bouncing off the ropes, one out of the ring and the fourth over the ropes and nearly into the crowd.

 

Alf actually bounces off of Sandman, who’s body also bounces into the air on the impact. Alf ends up flipping over and winds up next to the ropes, while Sandman falls back to where he was.

 

The crowd has completely lost their minds.

 

Cole: “I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT! WHAT A FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH!”

 

Coach: “Alfdogg came off of that elevated ladder and crushed Sandman! How they’re both dead I don’t know!’

 

Caboose: “ALF DID IT! ALF KILLED SANDMAN!”

 

Even though the force of the impact cracked several of Alf’s ribs and might have punctured his lung, Alf conjures up the strength to crawl over and cover Sandman.

 

The official counts…1…..2…….3.

 

Ring Announcer: “Your winner….ALFDOGG!”

 

Evenflow comes back to ringside and takes the mic from the official. He enters the ring and helps Alf off of Sandman, who collapses by the ropes as medics rush down to ringside. Evenflow stands over Sandman’s body and speaks into the microphone.

 

“Hey, Sandy. I win.”

 

Evenflow drops the mic on Sandman’s caved-in chest. The crowd screams for both him and Alf, who is being helped out of the ring by the EMTs.

 

Cole: “I’m practically speechless! I can’t believe what we just saw.”

 

Coach: “Neither can I, Michael!”

 

Caboose: “But I can, guys! Sandman was the biggest piece of shit the OAOAST has even seen. And it makes sense that it was Darring, Jingus, Alf and Evenflow were the once to finally put an end to his existence! Jingus was the one person Sandman ducked and ran from, Darring was the person Sandman challenged but left the OAOAST rather than face, and Evenflow was the one person Sandman could never beat, at least not without a gang assistance! Alf was simply the catalyst to such an event, and now Alfdogg is the one who can take credit for ending Sandman once and for all!”

 

Cole: "And now an announcement about AngleMania V."

 

ANGLEMANIA V

TRUMP PLAZA & CASINO

 

COMING SPRING 2006!

Edited by Tony149

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COACH

Well, if you tuned into Anglemania...unfortunately, you're about an hour late. However, stay tuned for a special episode of Three's Company. You know what I'm talking about. Come and knock on our dooOOOooOOrr!! We've been waiting for yoOOOooOooOoOOOOoooouuu!!

 

Suddenly, Coach's off-key singing is cut off, as Michael Cole and Caboose return from their bathroom break.

 

COLE

What in the hell?

 

COACH

Oh, I was just telling them how Anglemania finished early.

 

COLE

...

 

COACH

HAAZ! APRILZFOOLZ~!~!~! HAR HAR! THAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST FUNNY THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh my fuckin' God.

 

COACH

HA HA HAAA...

 

*SMACK!*

 

COACH

WHYYYY!

 

*SMACK!*

 

CABOOSE

Man, that never gets old.

 

COLE

Well, for those of you who weren't fooled...or, those of you who didn't turn off in sheer disgust at the mere existance of The Coach...Anglemania continues with The Joy Of X Match next. And on paper, it looks one of the most intriguing matches on the card. Three former X Champions make their returns, for one night only, to face the new generation...the current champion...Leon Rodez.

 

CABOOSE

Indeed. The Amazing Rando, K-Money and The Superstar are back for this one. Non title, of course. And there's some wacky, convulted rules apparantly. I don't know why everyone doesn't just wrestle British style. Straight up, in the car park, shirts and skins.

 

COLE and COACH

!?!

 

CABOOSE

...stupid yanks.

 

COLE

Anyway...the rules. It's a four corners set-up, with the wrestlers able to tag in and out. But also, there are Lucha Libre rules. If an opponent hits the arena floor, then another competitor can automatically come in and be considered legal in the match. So if you're on the apron, it pays to stay awake. Also, Lucha Libre rules state that there is a TWENTY count on the floor. Not ten. Twenty.

 

COACH

Do they have to wear masks?

 

COLE

No.

 

COACH

Well that sucks.

 

Swooping to ringside, we pan the crowd before going up to the ring and the one and only Michael Buffer.

 

CABOOSE

Hey...if 'Buff Is The Stuff', does that mean 'Buffer Is The Stuffer'.

 

COLE

Hush!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen...the following contest, as part of Anglemania IV...is the special attraction, JOY OF X MATCH!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

JOYOFX.jpg

 

BUFFER

The rules are simple. So simple, that Michael Cole was able to run through them for you just moments ago. Introducing first at this time, from wherever he's from...THE AMAAAAAAAAZZZZIIINNGGG... RRRRAAAANNDDOOOOOOO!!!

 

The crowd cheer, as "LaLa" by Ashlee Simpson hits (hey, that's what you get for changing your music 6 times in ONE APPEARANCE and then let me agree that I don't need you stats.) The arena lights dim before The Amazing Rando, looking quite somber and quiet, walks out from behind the curtain and looks out at the crowd with a beaming smile, glad to be back. A long jacket flows to his feet as though it is water running down his back. He jogs determinedly to the ring and his head stays down until he is standing beside the ring. At which point, it snaps upwards with the smile still flashing. Rando quickly begins a jog around the ring, high-fiving Teh Don~! and many others besides. The crowd continue to applaude him as Rando looks around at all the people watching him. After a long sigh, Rando leaps over the ropes and into the ring, as “LaLa” FINALLY cuts out.

 

COLE

The Amazing Rando seems happy to be back.

 

CABOOSE

So would you be if you did his job.

 

COLE

What's that?

 

CABOOSE

Dog Food Taste Tester.

 

COACH

AMAZING~!

 

Meanwhile, as the commentary idiocy goes on, the fierce vibrating bass of "Satellite" by TV on the Radio kicks in...to a slightly better than mixed reaction from the crowd.

 

BUFFER

From Tuscon, Arizona...he weighs in at 248 pounds. He is THHHEEEEEEEEEEE SSSUUUUUUUUPPEEEERRRRR - SSSSSTTAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!

 

The Superstar emerges through the curtains to a fair few cheers, of nostalgia and stuff. Supes doesn't look in perfect shape, but all the same, he looks ready as he jogs down the steps of plentitude. A few fans tag him on the back on the way down. But Supes pretty much shrugs them all off as he reaches ringside, sliding into the ring and eyeing up Rando. Although, not in that way.

 

COLE

The Superstar was the first ever X-Division Champion in the OAOAST. So, tonight, we really are going full circle.

 

CABOOSE

And Supes has the Anglemania advantage.

 

COLE

True. This is his second consecutive Anglemania appearance.

 

Suddenly, the crowd explode as "Kickstart My Heart" by Motley Crue hits. They need no second guess at who's on the way and are already buzzing, as K-Money emerges through the curtains at the top of Trump Plaza. Smiling, he reaches out to high-five the fans beside him on either side. Supes applauds mockingly from the ring, as K-Money begins to make the long walk down the steps.

 

BUFFER

Hailing from Hollywood, California! He weighs one hundred, ninety five pounds... K - MMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

 

Cheers greet the announcement, as K-Money continues the LONG walk.

 

COLE

K-Money, who has a fair few connections with our general manager.

 

COACH

I bet he has. YOWZA~!

 

COLE

Where's Jesse 'The Body' when you need him.

 

 

*CLOTHESLINE!*

 

 

VENTURA

Hey guys, mind if I join you.

 

COLE

Sure!

 

CABOOSE

Awesome!

 

COACH

*unconscious mumbling*

 

K-Money finally reaches the ring, rolling in and saluting the fans. Stopping his mock applause, Supes glares at K-Money, clearly not just here for the paycheck.

 

 

"WEL - COME BACK! WEL - COME BACK! WEL - COME BACK!"

 

COLE

Great respect being shown, to all these three special guests here tonight.

 

All three men, even Supes, can manage a smile as the chants ring out. Rando leaps to the middle rope and applauds the crowd, while K-Money and Supes go back to their warm-ups.

 

 

 

*GOOOOONG!*

 

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

As Trump Plaza is filled with another HUGE pop!

 

"GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!"

 

The crowd starts to bop their heads along to Kool And The Gang's "Jungle Boogie", as eventually the X-Division Champion storms out through the curtains. And almost falls down the steps, forgetting where he is. Luckily, he doesn't fall and re-composes himself. Rodez then begins the jog towards the ring, tagging out at hands on the way.

 

BUFFER

And, the final competitor. From Grand Rapids, Michigan and weighing two hundred and twenty eight pounds. Thr reigning OAOAST X-Division Champion of the WORLD..."SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEOOOOONN RRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!

 

Rodez completes the stair-set in good time, stopping at the bottom, winded...before rolling into the ring. Quickly Leon passes his belt to referee Brian Hebner, before walking over to Rando and giving him a warm handshake. Rodez jogs over and does the same with K-Money, before extending a hand to Supes. Who, thinks about it. Before shaking, to a cheer, not without pointing a warning finger in Rodez's face though.

 

VENTURA

Much as I admire this kid's guts, he's dumb as hell for shaking hands with people he's supposed be wrestling in just a few minutes.

 

COLE

It's respectful, Jesse.

 

VENTURA

And if Rodez is showing these three respect, the three in the ring will just grow in confidence. If he respects me, he MUST be afraid of me. That's the mentality.

 

CABOOSE

Unless he's lulling them in to false security.

 

VENTURA

Nah, he ain't that smart Boose.

 

Now, with all the ceremonies and entrances over, the four men in the ring have to decide who will start. The Superstar wisely steps out, with Rodez eventually following out to the opposite corner. Leaving K-Money and Rando ready to start.

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

COLE

Here we go, the Joy Of X is underway.

 

K-Money and Rando both limber up for a moment, before meeting in the centre, slapping hands as a show of respect. The two then start to circle...before eventually locking up. The two test strength, coming up about equal. K-Money snatches a headlock though, only to get pushed off by Rando. A shoulder block knocks down K-Money, Rando hitting the ropes quickly. K-Money rolls over, making himself a roadblock. Vaulting over, Rando comes to a stop, waiting for K-Money to get up before whipping...no, K-Money reverses the whip. Hiptoss attempt, but Rando spins into the move and cradles up K-Money...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2..

 

K-Money kicks out. Both men hurriedly scramble to their feet, with Rando now snatching on the headlock. K-Money tries to seek an escape, eventually clubbing Rando in the kidneys before shoving him off into the ropes. Back shoots Rando, with another shoulder block. And again, it's K-Money staying down, Rando leaping over and pausing. But this time, K-Money catches Rando with a boot and leaps over with sunset flip...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2..

 

Rando is out quickly. Again both men hurry up. K-Money reacts quickest though, arm-dragging Rando over. Rando is quickly up though, arm-dragging over K-Money. Many of the fans are clapping already. But Rando and K-Money aren't ready to soak up the applause yet though. Barging into K-Money with a lucha style 'é paso', Rando hits the ropes. His wheelbarrow cradle attempt is blocked. Rando is able to push off the canvas though, launching up and taking K-Money over with an armdrag variation! Sliding through and to the floor, K-Money shakes his head slightly. But as soon as he hits the floor, The Superstar enters the ring and hits a clothesline on Rando!

 

COLE

The Superstar, legally in by virtue of the rules. And it seems we're living up to the 'blink and you'll miss it' billing in this match. Pure, fast-paced X-Division action.

 

VENTURA

Yeah, but you won't see any of that flippy floppy stuff from The Superstar, Michael.

 

COLE

That's true. He and Rodez are both more 'grounded' in their style.

 

Supes helps Rando up...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

...before lashing him with a knifedge chop.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

...and again!

 

CABOOSE

There we go, that's Supes at his best.

 

Rando, already weary from the opening exchange, clutches his chest in lack of breath. Quickly, Supes capitalises and irish whips Rando. But Rando baseball slides underneath the bottom rope. Which allows Rodez to legally spring to the top rope, vault into the ring and catch Supes with a springboard clothesline!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

WOW!

 

VENTURA

That sure wasn't grounded!

 

Rodez takes a moment to soak up the cheers, before remembering what he's here to do, making the cover on The Superstar...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2.

 

K-Money breaks it up, as Supes kicks out at the same time.

 

 

Hebner moves K-Money back to the apron. As meanwhile, Rodez helps up The Superstar...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

...and gives him a taste of his own medicine! But Supes shakes off the chop, going to the gut with a knee before clubbing Rodez across the shoulder blades. Twice...three...no, four times! Rodez drops to his knees, but is quickly pulled up and whipped to the ropes. Ducking a clothesline, Rodez carries on running. Supes spins on his heels and goes for a leapfrog. But he gets hardly any height, allowing Rodez to catch him and crush Supes' little superstars with an inverted atomic drop! Comically, the former In Crowd member rocks and rolls with a hold of his...area. Rodez meanwhile backs off the ropes, catching Supes' head and DDTing him into the canvas! Fired up, Rodez starts to fire up the crowd. But as he does, he gets slapped on the back by Rando, tagging himself in!

 

COLE

Well, that's a tag.

 

CABOOSE

An unappreciated tag.

 

Rando hurries into the ring and wastes little time in springing to the top rope, launching back with a Quebra...NO, Supes moves and Rando hits hard! As Rando holds his gut, Supes smiles wryly, before tagging out to Rodez. Who understandably wants back in. Rodez pulls Rando up from his knees, hooks...and hits a snap suplex! Still relatively fresh, Rando is up quickly. Rodez grabs him though, whipping him to the ropes. However, Rando is able to leapfrog him. Rodez turns on his heels, as Rando springs off his heels, hooking Rodez's head and hitting a gorgeous hurricanrana!! The dazed Rodez scrambles out of the ring, allowing K-Money to enter the ring. But as he advances on Rando, The Amazing One throws up a hand telling him to stop...before tagging in The Superstar.

 

CABOOSE

Huh?

 

In comes Supes, both he and K-Money looking confused...as Rando walks over to where Rodez is regaining his bearings. Rando quickly exits to the apron and as business like as possible, leaps to the middle rope and WIPES OUT RODEZ WITH A GORGEOUS ASAI MOONSAULT!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

AMAZING~!

 

K-Money is still watching this, as The Superstar rushes him with a flurry of forearm strikes. Five or six connect on K-Money, who tries in vain to cover up, before Supes whips K-Money across the ring. Getting a foot up on the middle turnbuckle, K-Money avoids crashing into the turnbuckles...and catches Supes charging with a back elbow. And a second. Supes is dazed now, as K-Money leaps to the middle turnbuckle, rotating off with a crossbody that wipes out Supes...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout! K-Money rolls off of Supes, quickly back to his feet as The Superstar scrambles back up. Over rushes K-Money, connecting across the BUTT of the jaw with a standing dropkick! K-Money quickly makes another cover...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

Another kickout. K-Money is again quickly back up, waiting on The Superstar. Charging, K-Money swings and misses with a clothesline. Around he turns, swinging with a right hand that Supes ducks as well. Supes quickly hooks up K-Money on the way around, hoisting him up for a back suplex...and releasing K-Money for just a split second, hooking him again on the way down to add extra impact to the back suplex!!

 

VENTURA

Beautiful move. Textbook stuff from The Superstar.

 

K-Money clutches his neck, rolling onto his front. Grabbing K-Money by the head, The Superstar then drops a knee into the spine of K-Money before pulling back with a modified camel clutch. Wrenching back, Supes clings onto the hold with a wry smile. As he does though, The Amazing Rando rolls back in and breaks up the move with a low dropkick.

 

COLE

Smart move by Rando. This is a one fall match and you can't take any chances.

 

CABOOSE

I seriously doubt K-Money would have quit there though.

 

Rando leaves the ring, as Supes casts a glare his way. He then pulls K-Money, sliding behind him and YANKING him down with a hard neckbreaker. The crowd are still mixed on Supes, as he lines up K-Money, dropping an elbow across the back of his neck. And a second. Supes then lines up a third, sloooowing down and faking the elbow...before stomping K-Money in the back of the head! That gets a few boos. But The Superstar is more concerned with pointing a finger at Rando. Supes then goes back to K-Money, pulling him up to his feet and connecting with a palmstrike. Before hitting a second. K-Money is dazed, as Supes lines him up...but K-Money ducks the strike, catching Supes' head and diving forward with a facecrusher. The Superstar's head bounces off the mat hard, as K-Money makes an immediate break for the corner...

 

 

...and tags Rando...

 

 

...as Supes rolls out of the ring. And with Rodez still recovering on the floor, Rando 'nominates' K-Money as his legal replacement, with a legdrop across the back of the head.

 

COLE

Well, K-Money did make a tag, but unluckily for him, The Superstar had rolled out. Leaving him easy prey for Rando.

 

VENTURA

Yeah, that's the disadvantage of matches with dumb, complicated rules. You try to wrestle as normal, but the rules throw you curveball after curveball.

 

Rando drops a second leg, as Rodez is back in his corner finally. With a glance towards the X-Champion, Rando drags up K-Money and slams him with a forearm. K-Money wobbles, but stays up...to take a second forearm strike. But still, K-Money stays on his feet. Rando hits three more quick, hard forearms before throwing K-Money into the corner. K-Money slumps into the buckles, as Rando backs up. He then charges, double knees to the chest before landing and calling in Supes. In comes The Superstar, as Rando grabs K-Money by the arm and whips him into Supes. K-Money ducks a wild swing though, coming back and barging into Supes. He stumbles backwards, into a Rando roll-up...but Hebner won't count, as Supes isn't legal. Rando throws off The Superstar, just as K-Money comes over and rolls up Rando...

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout by Rando!

 

Up come both men, and it's a Rando leg lariat that connects first. Popping back up, Rando extends for a tag to Supes...and despite a distrusting look to the man who just tried to pin him, The Superstar tags in. Supes grabs K-Money, but K-Money grabs him and drops with a jawbreaker! Away staggers Supes, as K-Money gets to his feet and searches for someone to tag. But The Superstar charges and wipes out K-Money with a running elbow smash! Supes quickly makes a cover on the stunned K-Money...

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

 

Shrugging, Supes holds out a hand and tags Rando back in. Rando is full of beans and rushes the dazed K-Money, taking him down with a double leg and following that up with a quick elbow. He then calls on the crowd before setting...and hitting a legdrop. Followed with a back senton. And then...A STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!

 

COLE

AMAZING~!

 

But Rando doesn't attempt a cover. Instead, he steps over K-Money...but MISSES a standing moonsault!! Again Rando is left clutching his gut, as K-Money looks out to Rodez ready to tag. But as he does, The Superstar enters the ring, grabbing Rando and HURLING out of the ring like so much garbage...before grabbing K-Money (legally, remember) and looking for a back suplex. K-Money floats over though, landing on his feet. Around turns The Superstar slowly, allowing K-Money time to gain his bearings...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...and connect with a stiff enziguri!!

 

COLE

K-Money, fighting back!

 

The Superstar flops to the mat, as K-Money is again searching for the tag. As he does, now, it's Rando who comes in and bundles Supes out, making him legal. Rando scoops up K-Money, whipping him to the ropes...but K-Money hangs onto the top rope, causing Rando to miss a standing dropkick and land awkwardly. Now, K-Money drops his knees, with Rodez in sight, reaching out for the tag. K-Money crawls.

 

And crawls.

 

 

And crawls some more.

 

 

 

Before finally saying 'to hell with this' and rolling out of the ring, allowing Rodez to legally enter the ring.

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

And one way or another, it's K-Money out and Leon Rodez in!

 

CABOOSE

My head hurts.

 

Storming into the ring, Rodez charges into the ring and clotheslines through Rando. And again. Supes up onto the apron...and to the floor, courtesy of a dropkick! And Rando eats a dropkick too! Rodez is fired up now as he whips the reeling Rando to the ropes, catching him coming back with a hiptoss. Rando then charges aimlessly into a second. Before going up for a thir...no, Rodez catches Rando's legs and turns it into the Shoop Shoop, Silky Scoop Loop and a pin...

 

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

VENTURA

This kid has a lot of energy here. But here comes The Superstar!

 

From behind, Supes charges at Rodez...

 

 

 

...but Rodez sees him coming, catching him with a drop-toe-hold that hangs him up throat first over the middle rope. Rodez starts to do the jig, but suddenly, Rando charges. He gets backdropped over the top though, right out by K-Money, who lands some right hands. Meanwhile, Rodez completes his jig and hits the ropes, charging Supes and crashing in with all his weight across Supes' spine!

 

COACH

YO, CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~!

 

VENTURA

I thought I clotheslined you.

 

COACH

Oh yeah. *sells*

 

VENTURA

Damn kids.

 

CABOOSE

Don't mind him, he doesn't know how to work.

 

As Supes clutches his ribs, he staggers away from the ropes. Meanwhile, Rodez is measuring from across the ring. Supes lumbers around, as Rodez sprints at him...ducking a wild swing from Supes...AND WIPING OUT RANDO AND K-MONEY WITH A SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE ROPES!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Leon Rodez taking a risk there!

 

VENTURA

And this crowd has come alive. Just like when showed off 'The Body' here in 1989!!

 

As the three bodies regroup on the floor, The Superstar takes the opportunity to shake off some cobwebs. Rodez is the first to his feet. But instead of re-entering the ring, he quickly grabs Rando and sends him FLYING, upside down into the steel guardrail. Rodez finally rolls in, getting caught by a Superstar palmstrike that sends him reeling back against the ropes.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

Leaving him open for a chop.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

Only for Rodez to fire one straight back!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

The Superstar!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

Rodez!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

The Superstar!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

Rodez!

 

 

...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOO!"

 

Rodez!

 

Supes is reeling now. Rodez tries for another chop, but The Superstar snatches out a kick to the knee to stop him in his tracks. Cursing, Rodez clutches his knee...as Supes slams upwards a knee to the face, sending Rodez reeling up and away. As he comes back around and hits a boot to the gut, before grabbing an arm...and the second, hooking them up.

 

VENTURA

Woah...wait a second. The Superstar going for the Hollywood Blvd?

 

COLE

K-Money's move!

 

Before Supes can connect though, K-Money sees what's going on and rolls into the ring. Supes throws Rodez off and sprints at K-Money, who drop-toe-holds him doen. K-Money then hooks up the leg, lacing his through...and trying to grab a cravaté on The Superstar!

 

COLE

And now, K-Money looking for The Chick Magnet...Leon Rodez's move...on The Superstar!

 

Supes shrugs K-Money off though, grabbing the ropes to save himself from any possible submission hold. Releasing the hold on him, K-Money backs off and allows Supes to pull himself up. But as he does, Rodez whips him around into a boot to the gut...before hooking K-Money into a tombstone piledriver position, before cradling an arm in too.

 

COLE

Wait...Star Power!?!

 

VENTURA

They're tryin' to finish each other off with their opponent's finishers here!!

 

The Superstar prevents his finishing move used by Rodez, on K-Money, clubbing him in the spine. Rodez releases K-Money and a brawl ensues between the three men...as The Amazing Rando climbs to the top rope, lining up the trio...and somersaulting into the pile, wiping out Rodez, Supes and K-Money in one go!!! The crowd are on their feet applauding the series, as all four men lay hurt and/or exhausted on the mat, gasping for breath. Brian Hebner stands over the foursome and begins to count them all out. At 5, Rando and K-Money are stirring...and by the count of 7, all four men are climbing up to their knees. Hebner stops his count at 8, with Rando up...but he misses a superkick on K-Money...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...AND EATS A SUPERKICK FROM RODEZ...

 

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...WHO PROMPTLY EATS A SUPERKICK FROM K-MONEY!! K-Money quickly re-adjusts his footing and goes for The Superstar...but Supes ducks underneath an enziguri attempt. As K-Money gets back up, Supes swings...and MISSES with a Thai Roundhouse attempt, leaving him privy to a roll-up...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOO!!

 

COLE

Just a two! The Superstar clinging on!

 

VENTURA

Clinging on? We don't need the melodrama here Michael, especially at Anglemania.

 

CABOOSE

Why can't you clothesline Coachman more often?

 

Supes quickly grabs K-Money and tries to throw him from the ring. Grabbing the ropes, K-Money skins the cat and hooks his legs around The Superstar's head. And with a little helping hand from Rando, both K-Money and The Superstar fly out of the ring and splatter off the arena floor. Rando quickly spins on his heels to grab Rodez now, looking for an irish whip. Rodez spins out though, breaks off the grip on his wrist and connecting with a jab!

 

A jab!

 

 

A jab!

 

 

 

A jab!

 

 

 

A jab!

 

 

 

Rando is rocking and reeling as Rodez turns, blows a kiss to the crowd...but misses the enziguri, that would have completed the Mama Said Knock You Out. Instead, he gets hooked by Rando, who charges towards the ropes with a headlock, springing off the ropes. But Rodez blocks the swinging bulldog attempt, pushing Rando up and over the top, where he crashes into K-Money! Supes just avoids Rando and rolls back in, catching The Silky Smooth One unawares with a clothesline from behind. Going down hard, Rodez lays motionless on the mat as The Superstar plans his next move.

 

VENTURA

Supes has got things going his way. But he's gotta capitalise guys!

 

As if on cue, Supes grabs Rodez and starts to haul him off the canvas. Rodez is still dazed, as Supes hooks him up for a vertical suplex...but the X-Champion floats over, pushing The Superstar into the ropes. Supes switches behind Rodez though, locking up the arms for a tiger suplex. However, Rodez struggles and struggles to get free. Putting off Supes long enough for The Amazing Rando to slide in behind the two and club Supes. He instantly releases the hold and turns around, Rando waiting with a rana that SPIKES Supes on his head, to gasps from the crowd!!

 

COLE

Oh MY!

 

CABOOSE

Supes got planted. He might be out of the running just like that!

 

But Rando seems to concerned with his successful rana as he gets up. Allowing Rodez to hook on a reverse front facelock and lift Rando up for the Street Smar...NO, Rando suddenly finds his legs hooked over K-Money's shoulders, saving him! The confused Rodez lets Rando go, which causes Rando to headscissor K-Money, right into Rodez with a pseudo spear!! K-Money keeps going, all the way out of the ring, as Rando makes the pin...

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR- NOOOO!!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Rando doesn't panic though, quickly dropping a leg on Rodez before pointing to the top turnbuckle.

 

COLE

Rando may be going up here. And he may be thinking about that Pheonix Splash we've seen him use before.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but can he still pull it off?

 

As The Amazing One begins to climb to the top, the crowd rise to their feet, expecting something big. Facing out into the crowd, Rando shoots a signal to the crowd before he sets himself. But suddenly, K-Money appears back in the picture, clubbing Rando from the apron. Rando wobbles on the top and quickly climbs down to the middle rope. K-Money hits him again though, before climbing up to the middle rope himself. Anticipation builds even more now, as K-Money and Rando do battle on the middle rope, face to face. Rando seems to be wobbling. But suddenly, he pulls out a shot to the gut, before firing away with six or seven rapid shots to the head. K-Money wobbles now, as Rando hits his last shot...before hooking up a front facelock.

 

COLE

Uh-oh.

 

VENTURA

Superplex? Or would be an Amazingple...ah, who cares anyway?

 

Rando hooks the superplex up and grabs a hold of the tights, ready to take K-Money over. As he does though, Leon Rodez is up and walking over, ducking his head through and setting Rando for a powerbomb! Rando is determined though and still takes up K-Money, just as Rodez hooks him...AND IT'S DOUBLE IMPACT!! K-MONEY TAKES THE SUPERPLEX, RANDO TAKES THE POWERBOMB...AND RODEZ TAKES HIS OPPORTUNITY TO COVER RANDO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...THE SUPERSTAR PULLS RODEZ OUT OF THE RING!!

 

Supes quickly clocks Rodez, before rolling into the ring and covering Rando himself...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE

 

 

--NO!!!!! RANDO KICKS OUT!!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH--"

 

 

But suddenly, the cheers die down, as Supes cradles K-Money up tightly for a cover...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

NOOO!! Kickout at 2!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

 

The Superstar gives referee Hebner and accusing look before climbing angrily to his feet. Encouraging either Rando or K-Money up, Supes gets Rodez instead. But he quickly palms Rodez off the apron to the floor. Just as Rando starts to get up.

 

VENTURA

All hell has broken loose here. Referee Brian Hebner has lost complete control...but The Superstar is still control. And he's got Rando in his sights!

 

Up staggers Rando, turning around slowly into an irish whip...reversed...reversed again! Rando shoots off the ropes and leapfrogs Supes, hitting the opposite ropes and flipping off of The Superstar with a tilt and wirl headscissor...

 

 

 

 

...NO...

 

 

...SUPES BLOCKS IT, KEEPING THE 'WHIRL' MOMENTUM GOING...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND SPIKES RANDO WITH THE STAR POWER!!!

 

VENTURA

HE HIT IT!

 

Rando gets dropped directly off his head, unable to protect himself. But as The Superstar gets to his feet in his dizzy condition, he suddenly gets caught by the running K-Money and taken to the corner, which K-Money scales...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...spinning off and hooking up The Superstar...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND PLANTING HIM HEAD-FIRST!!!!

 

COLE

SLICED BREAD #3!! K-Money has The Superstar beat here!!

 

K-Money ends up on his knees, short of breath, but with enough left to roll over The Superstar and drop on top of him with a cover...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...RODEZ PULLS K-MONEY OFF...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND APPLIES THE CHICK MAGNET!!!

 

 

CABOOSE

He caught him! He caught him napping!

 

COLE

THE CHICK MAGNET IS APPLIED!!

 

As the crowd erupt, Rodez grips in the cravaté and pulls with all his might. K-Money is trapped and far away from the ropes, eyes locked despairingly on the bottom strand that sits feet away.

 

 

 

"TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!"

 

The chant goes up, as K-Money clasps at his face with one hand in his agony...his other hand hovering despairingly above the canvas. Both The Superstar and The Amazing Rando are still laid out either side of the hold, unable to help K-Money as he begins to crawl towards the ropes.

 

COLE

K-Money is trying to escape...

 

VENTURA

But he's only got on leg to crawl on. Which is pretty much a fate sealer.

 

 

K-Money isn't giving up yet though, gritting his teeth as he crawls onwards. Still, Rodez clings on defiantly to the hold, just as determined as K-Money as he pulls back one last time....

 

 

 

 

...causing K-Money's arm to hover again...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...just as The Superstar begins to stir...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*TAPTAPTAPTAP!!*

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

BUT IT'S TOO LATE!!

 

COLE

IT'S OVER!!

 

VENTURA

K-Money just had no choice. He had nowhere to go.

 

COLE

Leon Rodez makes K-Money tap out, securing a memorable Anglemania victory!

 

Rodez releases the hold as soon as the bell sounds, clutching a clenched fist to his face in ecstacy and kissing it. Meanwhile, The Superstar collapses back down once more, realising the match is finished as "Jungle Boogie" sounds up once more.

 

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this match...the OAOAST X-Division Champion... LEEEEEOOONN RRRRROOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!

 

COLE

A great exhibition of new versus old, in the X-Division. And in the end, it's the new generation that comes out on top. What a win for Leon Rodez. Five months plus as X-Division Champion and now, victory over three X-Division legends.

 

In the ring, Rodez is celebrating his ring, as Rando and Supes are just now getting to their feet. They as well as K-Money clutch their necks, as they eventually get to their feet and begin to converge in the centre of the ring. Wasting no time, Rando hugs the victorious Rodez and raises one of his arms in the air. K-Money too shows his respect, shaking hands with Rodez, who checks if he's okay. Meanwhile, The Superstar doesn't seem best pleased at not winning on his one night return. But as Rodez walks over and extends a hand, he sighs and shakes to a HUGE cheer.

 

COLE

A great show of respect for our X-Division Champion. And well deserved. Jesse, thanks for joining us.

 

VENTURA

No problem, Michael. The pleasure was all yours.

 

CABOOSE

Oh, and, I think Coach wants to say something to you.

 

VENTURA

...too bad.

 

 

*CLOTHESLINE - UUUHHHHHHHH!!*

 

VENTURA

It's The Body's rules, baby!

 

CABOOSE

That can never happen enough, Michael.

Edited by Tony149

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CUT TO:

 

An unsuspecting Tony Schiavone wiping the upper thigh area of his pants with a cloth. Next to him is none other than a tuxedo-clad LARRY ZBYSZKO!

 

SCHIAVONE

Was Gene right. That girl really knew how to give head.

 

LARRY

Of course. We're in Atlantic City. You better hurry up, we're going on the air soon. You wouldn't want your wife to know what you've been doing away from the house.

 

SCHIAVONE

The bitch won't know. She's probably re-watching "Desperate Housewives" on our TiVo.

 

Schiavone looks up and sees the red light on, quickly tossing the cloth aside.

 

SCHIAVONE

Uh...welcome back wrestling fans. What a tremendous night of action we've seen. Tony Schiavone here with a special guest to give his insight into our next match for the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship, former AWA World Champion and WCW Tag Team Champion, "The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko.

 

Tony extends his hand out to Larry, who looks down at it and just pats him on the shoulder instead. Tony embarrassingly pulls his hand back. Larry twirls his index and middle finger together near his temple.

 

SCHIAVONE

Welcome to AngleMania, Larry. What are your impressions of the action you've seen at your first OAOAST event?

 

LARRY

It's been nothing short of amazing, Tony. For over 20 glorious years I've been involved in the greatest sport of them all, and I've seen many men and women walk down that aisle, but one thing remains the same: the ring. I've been fortunate enough to be involved in many big events throughout my career, from retiring my mentor to competing at two Starrcades, but AngleMania blows them all out of the water. I'm happy to be here to lend my expertise on the OAOAST World Tag Team Title match.

 

SCHIAVONE

When C.O.D. captured the Tag Team Titles from the Original Elite at Anglepalooza, many thought it was a fluke; no way can two women compete night in and night out against opponents who are bigger and stronger, but Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Spezia have proven they are for real. But the team who stand in their way are perhaps the most popular team in OAOAST history, the Global Party XChange. As a man who has held the Tag Team Championship with "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson, what is your take on the OAOAST Tag Team Title match between the champions Chicks Over Dicks and the challengers the Global Party XChange?

 

LARRY

Well, the first thing that pops to mind is the named Chicks Over Dicks. There's something you wouldn't see in my day, but I have seen footage of them in action and, you know, these aren't your typical pretty girls, Tony. They are tough. It was just a few months ago that the New England Patriots won their 3rd Super Bowl in 4 years. Many people said if they'd do that it would solidify their place in history. The same applies for C.O.D. They've beaten nearly every top team in the OAOAST. If they can defeat the GPX, then it will solidify them as one of the greatest of all-time. It should be a good one, but smart money says the GPX walk out with the gold.

 

SCHIAVONE

Okay. Thank you for joining us, Larry. The Tag Team Titles are on the line next, so let's go back to the ring. And Louis, I love you.

 

BUFFER

The following contest is a Jazze Phizzle Productshizzle and it is for the Professional Wrestling World Tag team Championships! It is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes, the referee for this contest is Billy Silverman.

 

AM4-CODVSGPX.jpg

 

The house lights drop, causing the action hungry fans to crane their necks and look towards the beautifully decorated entrance stage. Wild strobe lights journey through the landmark venue at a frantic pace. Through the speakers comes:

 

CREEPY VOICED OLD MAN

In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees,

there finally emerges a group

which has come to set the record straight.

so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard

can you say.....

 

YAHTZEE!

 

PLAYA DON'T PLAY!

 

YAHTZEE!

 

PLAYA DON'T PLAY

 

uhhh na na na na?

 

O-TOWN

MAKE HER SAY UHHHHHH NA NA NA NA!

 

The black curtain swings open, the force it was pushed with almost carrying it off it's hinges. The Global Party Xchange, a team that helped breathe life into the decaying corpse of the tag division, burst into the Trump Plaza floor for their second AM appearance! Standing at the top of the ramp, $cotty $tatic, wearing a long white wife beater and saggy blue pants, thrusts his hands in the air, fingers forming gang signs. Johnny Jam Jackson, sporting neon green pants that sag low to reveal Charlie Brown boxers, stands next to his friend, arms folded, exuding a contemptuous arrogance. Neither man has a shortage of self-important swagger, both believing that they are destined to reclaim tag team wrestling's holy grail.

 

BUFFER

Introducing the challengers....making their way to the ring from Hotlanta they are the Anderson Cup champions, and two time tag team champions...BIG CITY $COTTY $TATIC, JOHNNY JAM JACKSON......THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHAAAAANGEEEEE!

 

Cheers rise from the vocal chords of the fans, although a few boos hang in the air, not necessarily conspicuous by their presence. The party animals bob and weave across the entrance ramp, moving with the frenzied speed of their accompanying strobe lights. Fans who still consider themselves part of the GPX army hold their signs in the air, praying that the party animals will acknowledge their show of support.

 

COLE

The Global Party Exchange earned the right to face Chicks Over Dicks in tag team title action, thanks to their slightly underhanded victory over Black T at Zero Hour.

 

CABOOSE

Slightly? Uh-huh. Anyway, The Exchange is making their second Anglemania appearance, having defeated The Minions in a ladder match last year. That match kickstarted GPX's meteoric rise to moderate fame.

 

The two men who have put on their fair share of breathtaking wrestling classics roll into the ring with nerves as solid as an iron bar. $tatic climbs to the top rope, where a blue light hits his body, and throws his arms into the air. Johnny heads to the opposite corner and raises the roof. Not literally. Because that would be impossible and a building code violation.

 

“YOU GUYS ARE WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION ALONE!” hollers a front row fan in a totally non heterosexual way. Scotty and Johnny just raise their eyebrows at him and back away very slowly as burly security guards escort him out of the building.

 

GPX's remixed entrance track, available on OAOAST: Assault for those of you lame enough to buy a wrestling album, fades out leaving the enthused fans to supply the noise.

 

COLE

For the first time since they came to the OAOAST, Johnny and Scotty are facing a team smaller then they are.

 

The opening guitar strings and heavy drums of Anything But Me by one Miss Lindsay Lohan starts up, accompanied by a gorgeous red pyro fountain that reaches so high it nearly touches the ceiling. The display of pyrotechnic advancement subsides revealing none other then America's sweetheart herself, Lindsay Lohan, who's come to sing CoD's entrance song! The crowd goes nuts at the sight of the A-list celebrity, while Johnny Jackson storms around the ring screaming about being “upstaged”.

 

BUFFER

(struggling to scream over the crowd)

And the champions, being accompanied to the ring by Lindsay Lohan...first from Beverly Hills, California, the OAOAST 2004 Internet babe of the year....ALIX SPEZIA, and her partner, from West Hollywood, California... weighing in at none of your god damn business, she is the author of the best selling self help book No Man, No Cry, the star of the number one fitness video in America Legs with KID, KRISTA ISADORAAAA DUNCAN!

 

Finally Chicks Over Dicks steps out onto the stage. The girls receive a thunderous round of cheers and applause, far greater then the outraged challengers to their throne, The Global Party Exchange. Alix Spezia, clad in tie dyed tube top and matching booty shorts, tosses a peace sign in the air, while rocking her body back and forth as if she was on speed. Which she is. Krista steps onto the steel staging, attired in a gold tank top and a gold skirt. It's her first AM appearance, but if GPX thought they were going to prey on a nervous novice, then they best think again. The title slung over her bare shoulder, she pats the solid gold plating, non verbally telling her fans that the belt will be coming back to Los Angeles with her. Photographers surround the champions, trying to capture a magical image of the perennial underdogs and the pop sensation. Alix blows a kiss to a video camera and cute super imposed lips pop on screen.

 

CABOOSE

(screaming to be heard over the deafening noise of Lohan's song and the crowd's cheers)

Last year the tag team titles were defended in a 3 Stages of Hell match between The Irish Terrorists, TNT and Northstar's lackeys, Silver Star and Flameout. That was the last time either of those two teams were seen in an OAOAST ring. This year we have a match designed to lure in the TRL demographic.

 

So much confusion circling inside my head

What this one and that one said

It's all an illuuusion cause I'm still the same person

No matter how fast I run . And I'm trying to hold...on to where it is I've come from

 

Krista eyes GPX smugly, knowing that they don't possess a realistic chance of stealing her tag team title belts. A fan hands the always upbeat Alix a bottle of rubber cement. She sniffs it and is instantly transported from the swamps of New Jersey to the lush garden of her own personal Shangri-La. She offers some to Lohan, who turns it down.

 

COLE

Chicks Over Dicks have beaten every major tag team in the OOAST except GPX and The Midnight Express, who were bested by Logan Mann and Synth Esizer earlier tonight.

 

The audience, waving their hands in the air, keeps rocking out to Lindsay's singing, as the beloved title holders slide into the ring. Krista and Johnny come face to face, having no drought of nasty words to share with one another. Alix climbs to the top rope. Just like the jam packed crowd she bobs her head to ending chorus of the song.

 

Now is a never ending thing

One moment turns into another

Before I've had time to run from all the other ones

And it's so hard to live a dream

And be everything that they want you to be

Is anything but me

 

The song comes to a close and the young starlet gets a round of applause while Krista and Johnny continue their vulgar spat. Alix and her bottle of rubber cement go onto the ring apron, and Big City does the same. Lohan heads to back as the announcers rattle off some pointless nonsense.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

We open the match with a lockup between Krista and Johnny. The stoked crowd, with members who've traveled from locations as distant as Thailand, are still on their feet, not yet settled down. Krista's hair floats in front of her face, while she engages in a physical chess match with her slim counterpart. Jackson's face twists with stress, as he strains to push an unyielding Krista down. Gathering that he won't be able to overpower her, he breaks the hold and flings her over with an arm drag! Much to his dismay and the fans delight, the champion lands smoothly on her feet! Terribly stubborn and unwilling to admit defeat, he attempts another arm drag. Krista counters by pressing her hands against the mat, then cartwheels into a standing position. The Jammer shakes his head and frowns, as Krista points an imaginary watch on her wrist, coldly letting him know that GPX's time is up

 

COLE

Krista landing in an erect position.

 

COACH

She ain't the only one!

 

Already having his temper irked, Jam rushes in on her, steam leaking out of his pointy ears. She drops down to her knees and swipes him in the back of his leg, and he takes a hard flat back bump onto the mat, with the back of his head kissing the canvas. The golden haired honey lays on top of him for a lateral press, but he quickly kicks out! The still standing fans bust out a spontaneous “KRIS-TA!” chant. Johnny rolls away from Krista, still perturbed over the crowd's bias for COD. Using the black ring ropes for help, he pulls himself to his feet, while staring daggers at his older foe. Wearing a cocky expression, she coolly motions the hot head in. Never one to back down from a challenge, Jackson darts at Krista only to be outsmarted and hit with a drop toe hold! His youthful face tags the mat, loosening a few of his milky white teeth and blurring his 20/20 vision. Arena lights sparkling off her tanned skin, Krista swings to his side and grabs her favorite move, the headlock. Some fan's actually pop, which may be the first time anyone has ever popped for a headlock.

 

COACH

This is GPX's first tag team title shot since they lost the belts to The Original Elite in November.

 

Izzy rolls in front of Johnny and grabs a tight front face lock. The camera zooms in on her modelesque good looking face, her teeth are gritted, almost grinding themselves into dust as she tries her damnedest to choke the teen scream out. The shot zooms out, showing Jackson's body, full of movement as he exerts a large amount of energy squirming out of the hold. The slick challenger is able to flip his body over onto its back. Using what little technical ability he garnered in his training sessions with the legendary Beaver Cleveage aka Headbanger Mosh , he catches her in a grounded arm wringer. Izzy screams at the top of her lungs due to Johnny trying to tug her arm straight out of its socket! Wrenching down, Jackson's lips curve into a fantastically cruel smile as he watches his enemy scream in pain, the knuckle in her index finger flexing as a response to the hurt. Quickening the flow of the mostly mat based contest, he shoots her forward with an arm drag! Once again she frustrates him to no end by landing on her feet!

 

COLE

Krista is widely considered to be the best technical wrestler in the OAOAST. Which speaks highly of her, and bad of the roster, when you take into account the fact that she only finished training a year ago.

 

Johnny Jackson stands up, eyes narrowed into slits, ready to blast Krista to kingdom come! She avoids the man Alix called “Johnny Jackass” on The Tonight Show by sprinting away from him and leaping onto the ring ropes. She takes a brief moment to stare out at the rambunctious Anglemania crowd, then flies back at Jam, ringing his bell with a spring board leg lariat! Most of the fans cheer, but there is a vocal minority of GPX diehards who boo the strike. Johnny pays no heed to the fractious crowd noise, only focusing on his own annoying migraine. He hauls himself upright where an unrelenting Krista snags his skinny arm and whips him into a Swiss (neutral) corner. The rock hard metal underneath the paper thin padding, hungry for another victim, salivates over the arrival of the teeny bopper. Krista runs after him for a corner clothesline, her desire to punish her pesky opponent, lending fuel to every one of her strikes. Before his stomach can collide with the turnbuckles and she can clothesline him, he grabs onto the side of the ring ropes, and tosses himself into the air so that he's facing the canvas. His hope is that Krista's momentum will carry her to a disastrous collision with the turnbuckles. However his hope goes down in multi color flames, as the best selling author catches him on her shoulders in a standing fireman's carry position. Johnny looks alarmed, shouting for Scotty to come and save him! But before Static can even react to the cries for help, Krista's hitting Jackson with a Death Valley Driver! NO! Johnny somehow counters it, by swinging out to her front and scoring a sloppy DDT! Although the move wasn't anything pretty, for GPX it was better then the alternative of a DVD.

 

COACH

Johnny and Scotty wrestled in the OAOAST developmental fed, Pacific Championship Wrestling as the masked men known as Death Dealing Tornadoes or DDT for short.

 

Izzy stands up slowly, neck not in the best of shape. The Jammer bends her over, places his left leg on the back of her head, reaches underneath it with his right arm and wraps the arm around her head. A murmur is heard from the crowd, no one quite sure of what Jackson has in store. Even his own partner is a tad confused. Johnny reveals his master plan to the world as he drops KID with a DDT/Rocker Dropper combo, crunching her head into the unforgiving canvas! Kris' neck snaps awkwardly, evoking a worried cry from her teammate! The fans pop for the innovative move from the GPX member.

 

COACH

I guess the feeling out process is over. But when I head to C.O.D victory party, the feeling up process is just beginning.

 

CABOOSE

COD victory party? Heh. I have a feeling you'll be seeing a lot these there:

 

8========D

 

COLE (shaking his head)

Caboose, that's not how we use the telestrator in the OAOAST.

 

Jackson gleefully watches the normally dour champion hold her neck in obvious pain. His face becomes flush with red as he gruffly barks at her to “stand up and fight like man.” He bends closer to her so that she can hear him even better. With every foul word spit rockets from his porous and insulting mouth, landing on her face, staining her soul with the essence of it's ire.

 

COLE

It's safe to say that the Global Party Exchange is one of the more memorable teams to ever work in the OAOAST.

 

Triple J grabs a fistful of her hair and brings her to her feet, trying to yank strands of the gold as the sun locks from her scalp. Looking at her with utter contempt, he hooks her into a front face lock. He lifts her up like he's going to vertical suplex her, but then lowers her forward, resting her legs on the top rope. With his free hand he jams his finger into his chest and shouts out a cornucopia of vulgarities, demonstrating the disharmony between these two units. On the ring apron Scotty Static nods at his partner knowingly, just wishing he could have an opportunity to get his hands on these vexing bitches. Johnny yanks Krista off the ropes. As her body hangs in the air, Jackson nails her with a roll of the dice, spiking her neck into the mat with carefully calculated force! The blow transmits jolts of agony throughout Krista's body, not just her neck. Going for a rather lax cover, Jackson drapes his arm across her chest.

 

1

 

 

2

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

WRESTLING NERDS:YEAAAA!

 

Johnny's anger descends over a frightened Silverman. “How could that not be three?” he grates in a never before heard terrifying voice. He turns back to Krista and notices no fear or humiliation in her harsh glare. Equating this with a lack of respect, this enrages Jackson and be belts her with a race car quick kick to the face. She falls back to the mat in a lump, feeling like there are marbles rolling around in her head. Johnny towers above her, stomping her with brutal kick and after kick, showing animalistic disrespect for her body.

 

“You ain't my Easter Bunny! I'm yo wigga, bitch! 3-1-3!” He bellows, making that the first time those words were ever spoken on OAOAST TV. His anger is barely contained within his slender frame. The fans are a bit put off by his raw, unbridled disrespect.

 

Grabbing her by the back of her head, he leads her to his corner. The tag is made to Big City $cotty $tatic. $cotty steps into the ring to a drizzle (as opposed to a downpour) of cheers. Jackson leans in close on Krista, so that she can smell the hatred boiling in his breath. “We ain't done, bitch.” he tells her then lands a punch square in her mouth. Unable to support her own body weight, the strike threatens to floor her, but $cotty keeps her upright, letting her lean against his baby oiled body. He grabs her into a back suplex set up, then lifts her up and sets her on the top rope! The audience is alive with anticipation over what should be an impressive move. The aqua attired fighter bends Krista backwards and rests her head on his neck. Powerless to battle her high flying enemy, she can do nothing but worry as he hooks his less then muscular arms around her's. The ring lights beat down on her eyes, blinding her, adding to her maddening headache. Big City steps forward, pulling her off the top rope. He sits out and violently drives her neck into his shoulder with a sick top rope neckbreaker! The actual point of impact made it look like Krista's entire head might separate from her body. $cotty stands up and intensely rips off his White t-shirt, scoring a pop from the preteen GPX fangirls in the audience.

 

COLE

Oh-la-la, il est beau!

 

Big City, launches Krista into the ropes with a whip. He bends over, leaving parts of body unwisely exposed, possessing hopes that she'll leap frog him. However Krista is not a Genie in a Bottle and $cotty hasn't rubbed her the right way, so his wish ain't her command. She backflips over and rolls her back off his, landing on her feet. Not exactly sure of what happened, $tatic turns around, only to see a glittering golden boot heading to his face! Anxious to dispose of Krista, he catches her leg, hooks his arm around her head, then drops her neck first onto the mat with a hellish capture suplex! Krista lands with resounding impact, her neck making a disgusting cracking sound. Chants of “KRISTA!” once again can be heard from the seats. $tatic covers her for a pin!

 

1

 

FEET ON THE ROPES!! BOO!

 

2

 

KICK OUT!

 

Alix and the fans breathe a little easier at the kick out. Displeased, $cotty goes bug eyed like a cokehead denied his score and stands up and stomps Kris' head, mashing her face against the sweat that's dripped onto the mat. The young Don Juan spits a wad of saliva onto the canvas, while leading KID to her feet. She battles against him with punches to the chest, but its a fruitless waste of energy as he overwhelms her with a sharp knee to her six packed abdomen. Big City pulls her into a front face lock, keeping control of the contest. He lifts her up like he's going to deploy an Implant DDT, however he twists both their bodies around, then drops to the mat, so that they both land on their backs with her neck bouncing off the ring floor! White hot pain pools around her neck, tugging apart the very structure that holds it together. $tatic shows no relent in his quest to procure championship gold. He stands her up and locks in one more face lock. The urban flavored fighter raises her into the air, then falls backwards, torpedoing her neck straight into the ring with that ultra deadly brain buster DDT! So full of himself, $cotty stands up and openly wonders how the crowd can't worship him. He starts to clap his hands together, stomping his feet against the mat, expecting the fans to join in. No one does. The fans' hands rest underneath their fat butts, as Big City does a pathetic slow clap down, wounded by the drought of love.

 

“GO BACK TO ATLANTA, PUSSY! YOU SUCK!” hollers a middle aged Asian man dressed as The Godfather.

 

COLE

Krista has been taking a beating all match. Usually she's the dominant wrestler in the match.

 

COACH

And in the bed room. The Coach knows from first hand experience. Trust me, playa.

 

Showing admirable resilience, Krista stands up on her own power. It's not the smartest move in the world, as she expended far too much energy to do so. Still deeply offended over the lack of crowd response, Big City tries to lodge a kick into her gut. But she catches firm hold of his shoe! Shaking her head like an admonishing mother, she gives him a 360 spin. When he comes back to face her, Izzy shoves City's medicine right down his throat with her own kick to the gut, doubling him over, leaving the Dirty South pretty boy in a bad way. She faces opposite him and gives Triple J the one finger salute. She then back flips over $cotty, catching him in a waist lock, and hitting him with a German Suplex in one glorious motion of perfection! Jackson stands on the apron with mouth agape, flabbergasted by the impressive sequence by the former fitness model. The raucous crowd after taking in the initial shock, bleats chants of “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

 

COLE

You have to be spider woman to do something like that!

 

Getting the feeling that the tide is turning in favor of her squad, the perky brunette, Alix Spezia, bounces up and down on the black ring ropes, giddily encouraging her partner to make the tag. Soon the spectators join in, clapping their hands together, rallying the beat up champion to her corner, their cheers serving as sort of an escort. $tatic, at the not so kind urging of his ill tempered comrade, rids himself of his glazed over look and stands up, exhaling in exasperation. The sound of the fans clapping for his adversary is anything but music to his ears, sounding more like nails on a chalkboard then anything else. Watching her crawl to the her corner, he runs to her and drops and elbow onto her back, putting an end her escape! The majority of the fan's boo, however some GPX loyalists, steadfast in their single minded support, cheer. Adorned with primal fury, Big City leads her upright then whips her to the ropes! Upon her return, he foolishly goes for a flapjack. Foolish because on her descent, Krista extends her arm out and secures salvation by tagging in her hyperactive gal pal, Alix! The audience goes NUCLEAR~! with their ovation for the OAOAST's most popular female.

 

COLE

Alix in this match for the first time!

 

Alix hits the ring, a 5'5 ball of glue sniffing fire! $tatic, scowling, lobs a clothesline her way! She bends backwards and “Martixes” through it, then kips up, spins around and levels The Hotlanta homey with a sweet enziguri! The nasty sound of her boot hitting his skull is washed away by the waves of ovations from the thousands of onlookers.

 

COACH

GOODIES MAKE THE BOYS JUMP ON IT!!!!

 

Known throughout wrestling as a hot head with an unholy mean streak, Johnny Jackson returns to the match with every intention of ending Alix's short career and even shorter title reign. He hammers her with an axe handle smash to the exposed part of her back! The observers in the stands hang on the edge of their seat, waiting to see the outcome of this battle. Grabbing her arm, Jackson whips Alix to the ropes! The super agile warrior makes him all the madder by jumping onto the third rope and flying back at him with a splendid lionsault press! Jackson tries to step out of the way, but on the way down Alix catches him with an inverted face lock and hits him with an Inverted DDT! Jam is taken straight to La-La land, and I'm not talking about Alix's home town!

 

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

 

COLE

Holy jumpin! A lionsault into an inverted DDT!

 

$cotty, upset with being tossed out like a used tampon, blindsides Alix with a shoulder block. She stands up and he meets her with flesh searing knife edge chops that receive the requisite Whoo's from the sheep. The 192 pounder tries to whip her to the corner, but she puts her thang down flips and reverses it, making him the one to get whipped! He goes hurtling into the turnbuckles, his back slamming against the aforementioned poorly padded metal. His eyes widen as he lets out a cry in distress. The Party boy's problems continue to mount as Alix runs in and nails him with a leaping spin kick to the side of the face that saw Alix's body twist more times then a Twizzler! Overtaken with hurt, Big City drops to his BUTT, resting against the lower two turnbuckles for whatever comfort they can give. Alix backs away from her downed rival, jiggling her feet and waving her hands in the air to whip the patrons into a further frenzy! Pleased with the ear shattering noise level, the flower child darts in, leaps onto the second turnbuckle, presses her hands against the top ropes, and kicks her body out, so it looks like she might do a diving headbutt to City's groin! Watching Alix hover above him, $cotty sports a look of extreme panic. Alix shoots her legs in front of her then rocks his world with a dropkick to the face!

 

CROWD: “OOOOOOOH!”

 

COACH

DON'T START NO SHIT, IT WON'T BE NO SHIT!

 

Alix kips up and mocks a haggard $tatic by doing the Carlton from Fresh Prince dance last seen in Alfdogg's avatar. BUT, Johnny Jackson, asshole extraordinaire, is right behind the hippy trippy honey and lifts her up for a back suplex! But Ally cat slips out the move and lands on her feet with unerring ease! She grabs a fistful of of Johnny's messy, uncharacteristically ungelled hair, then jumps forward, hitting him with a face crusher and smashing his noggin right into Big City's little balls! $tatic screams bloody freaking murder at the top of his lungs. Johnny's head is buried into $cotty's groin which makes for an interesting and strangely erotic visual. To add insult (and a little pleasure) to injury Alix makes like Dave Matthews and crashes into $cotty with a bronco buster! The mostly male audience cheers on the move while wishing they were in $tatic's place.

 

COACH

Holla!

 

Jackson, fresh off his homoerotic meeting of the minds, is on his feet and ready to rumble! Unfortunately he gets no chance to redeem himself as Kris comes from out of no where to dump him over the ropes with a clothesline! Instead of falling out to the ring like a good little boy should, Johnny lands on the apron, riddled groggy from the attack. Krista joins him on the apron and the gold skirted diva starts to pepper the now standing Motown gangsta with quick jabs to the face. Little blue birdies swirling around his head, Johnny's hand holds on to the rope for dear life, as its the only thing keeping him from a catastrophic trip to the mat. Krista, soaked in sweat, grabs a front face lock while Scotty and Alix lazily slug it out in the ring. She hoists Triple J up over her shoulders, pulling his hand off the ropes. Her legs shake as she tries to maintain her balance and Johnny's body weight. She hooks his left leg with one arm, and cradles his head with her other, and there's a roar of approval from the blood lusting fans. Krista sits out, releases Jackson's leg and drives his head into the ring apron with an AIR RAID CRASH/Kryptonite Crunch! Whatever you want to call it, it hurts like all hell! The fans on their feet, and camera flashes littering the air joined by applause, both gladiators crumple to the mat a mangled collection of flesh, bones, silicone, sweat and leather.

 

“O-A-O! O-A-O! O-A-O!”

 

COLE

Johnny Jackson is....dead!

 

Alix, like everyone else, is too focused on the scene outside the ring to pay attention to whatever is inside it. This proves to be her mistake as $cotty $tatic gets her into a school boy!

 

1

 

 

HOOK OF THE TIGHTS! CHEATING IS WRONG! EVIL!!!!

 

2

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

Even though City shouldn't have expected a roll up to do the trick, he's a little bit peeved to see that his hand will not be getting raised in victory. He pushes himself to his feet and leans against the corner, pouting over the disappointing pinfall. Alix, noticeably more cheery, stands up, and does a finger roll through her messy brown hair. Her hips swivel, mimicking the gyrations of her finger. She then comically goose steps forward, jawing at a malcontented $cotty, then moonwalks backwards with the stylish grace of a young darker skinned Micheal Jackson. She finishes by blowing a kiss to the crowd and flashing a beauty pageant worthy smile. The enthusiasm behind her elaborate gestures seeps down to the audience who shower her with a chorus of “Alix” chants.

 

CABOOSE

Ah, Alix has found the lost out of stalling.

 

Either employing the service of stunt doubles or no selling the Air Raid Crash, Krista and Johnny are standing up and are engaged in a slug fest outside of the squared circle! Unlike Alix and Scotty's sissy fight from a few minutes earlier, the two blondes are really trying to knock one another back into the ice age. Krista inexplicably leaps onto Johnny's shoulders for an inverted spinning head scissors! She gets spun like a Hendrix record, alright, but not in the way she wanted! Jackson grabs onto her legs and starts whirling around, moving closer and closer to the ring post as Krista moves closer and closer to puking. Eventually he lets her go free and the built up momentum sends her flying head first into the steel steps! They dislodge ever so slightly after her head bashes into them. A fat fan, with a god awful comb over, in an Austin 3:16 shirt asks Krista if she's okay. When she doesn't respond, he starts jumping up and down like his penis is on fire, yelling for paramedics to come to her aid. The people next to him mock him mercilessly.

 

CABOOSE

Ouch! Great way to use the surrounding area to do more damage to Krista's neck.

 

Johnny rolls into the ring as KID stays unanimated on the outside. Picking his 6'1 frame up he rushes at Alix, showing no side effects (read: no selling) from the Kryptonite Crunch Krista unleashed on him. Alix catches a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. Feigning ignorance of Jackson's approach, she continues to taunt $tatic with endless hair flips and hip gyrations. Finally as Johnny closes in her, Alix hits the ground and grabs the surprised youngster with a drop toe hold! Hollering and cussing, Jackson falls forward and lands neck first on the second rope. Flat out embarrassed, he lays there with his arms draped over the rope, mouth hung open in similar fashion to that of a thirsty dog. Alix takes to the ropes and speeds back at Jackson, looking almost like a psychedelic little blur. Sweat stinging his onyx eyes, $cotty makes a move to protect his vulnerable team member. He snags Alix into his arms, gives her a roller coaster like whirl, then drops her back first onto his knee!

 

CABOOSE

Tilt-a-whirl back breaker! Good stuff!

 

Jackson rolls out of the ring, his aggravated throat telling him to assume that Big City has combat under control. $tatic rolls up the right leg of his blue pants, showing his bare knee. Grinning with condescension, he measures Alix, seeking the best place to deploy his blow. He drives his knee straight into her back, leading her to groan. The Atlanta born super star heads to the ropes, leaving them vibrating as he runs back to Alix. He jumps into the air and lands his knee on the middle of her back! $cotty rolls Alix onto her back and goes for a pin!

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

Krista breaks up the pin and the crowd pops in response. $cotty hollers at her, spewing venom more vile then that produced by any snake. He stands up and gets in her face, spit flying every which way from his mouth. Tempers having already boiled over, Kris and her enemy try to assert dominance with an exchange of furious punches. Incredulous fire spurs Krista on as her hate tinged punches score the upper hand. The West Hollywood native leans into $tatic's hairless chest, then pulls him for an Irish whip! But the GPX star has enough wherewithal to reverse the move, throwing Kris to the ropes! Making this more then your average Irish Whip is Johnny Jam Jackson who stands with mischievous intentions on the ring apron. Eagerly awaiting his chance for retribution over the Air Raid Crash he rubs his hands together, creating a heat that burns hotter then the crowd's for this match. Krista runs towards the grappler she has ice cold feelings for. Rather then fall prey to whatever trap he's schemed, she uses her long tan legs to push herself into the air. Ripping through the sky she gets a somewhat loose grab on Johnny's (now standing on the second rope) head. Carrying herself out of the ring, she rotates both their bodies and plummets them to the mat with a TORNADO DDT!

 

COLE

Krista sacrificing her body to destroy Johnny Jackson's!

 

Tired and looking more forward to going to bed then any victory party, Krista stand up, wobbling back and forth as she does so. She runs her hands through her hair and nods to a teenage girl holding a sign that reads “KRISTA IS MY HERO” in big bold red letters. Izzy picks up her motionless opponent, a herculean effort due to him completely dead assing her, and drapes him across the Latvian announce table. She leans against the table, pausing to gasp for air, her chest heaving back and forth, her muscles beyond sore, her body so warm it feels like it was thrown into a furnace. The Latvian announcers, Sandis Ozolinsh of The Anaheim Mighty Ducks, Artus Irbe of The Columbus Blue Jackets, and Celine Dion, scatter out of fear for their safety which has just been placed on the endangered species list.

 

COACH

Whats she gonna do?!

 

There’s a buzz coming from the stands as Krista rolls into the ring. Adjusting her tank top, she stands up, greeted by increasing crowd noise. The fitness guru heads to the corner and scales to the top turnbuckle. She pulls herself up, finally getting a good look at the intimidating distance she has to cover in order to reach her stiffer then the erection I get whenever I see Aubrey from Making The Band 3 rival, Johnny Jam Jackson. Moving her eyes up past Johnny and to the exuberant standing crowd, Krista gets a sparkle in her blue as the Pacific ocean eyes and her bright red lips form a sly smirk. The adrenaline kick she gets from everyone’s focus being devoted solely to her is so divine that the smirk breaks into a full blown smile.

 

“SHOOTING STAR PRESS!” the former Easter Bunny shouts, which leads the fans that actually heard her to chant “PLEASE DON’T DIE!”

 

COLE

I know the Latvian announce table is closer then all the other tables, but there’s no way she can make it!

 

COACH

Don't do it!!

 

Amazing every last person in the arena and ignoring the sound advice of the announcers, Krista hurls caution, common sense, and career longevity, to the wind by taking a suicide leap off that turnbuckle! With numerous camera flashes decorating the venue in a bright white glow, Krista rotates her body into the shooting star press! Everyone looks on in frightful shock, holding their breath, uncertain whether Krista will reach Johnny or not. Their fears are alleviated as the ultra high risk move brutally connects as Krista’s stomach slams directly into Jackson’s face! The table breaks, its structure obliterated by the force at which Krista came down. The fans absolutely explode with chants of “OH MY GOD!” Both wrestlers lie on the black mats, breath slow, eyes closed, oblivious to the cascade of cheers engulfing them.

 

COACH

Oh...my...god is right!! That's gonna sell a few extra DVDs.

 

COLE

This has just been turned into a one on one affair with Big City Scotty Static and Alix Spezia!

 

CABOOSE

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

360 TWISTING FULL NELSON SUPLEX BY ALIX! Into a bridge! 1...2..KICK OUT! The smaller GPX member no sells the hold and springs to his feet. He immediately bolts Alix away from him, Irishing Whipping her to the tightly secured ring ropes. When she comes back, he whirls around for a discus clothesline. But she ducks his outstretched arm, leading him to annoyingly catch nothing but empty air. She runs the ropes once more and returns to him, where he takes his frustrations out on her pretty face with a dangerous spinning wheel kick! Alix sells the blow like she just got hit dead in the face with a Vader clothesline, doing a frontward flip, shooting star press type sell. Watching her slam into the ground, $cotty, on his knees, claps for himself, even if no one else will. He takes a fistful of Alix's chocolate colored hair and drags the tiny fighter to her feet as he rises to his.

 

COLE

At only 5'5 I don't think Alix is capable of taking many blows.... Don't say anything, Johnathan.

 

Irish whip by $cotty! NO! Alix reverses it, pulls him in close and strikes him with a knee to the midsection! The shot doubles the Tiger Beat cover boy over and saps him of what breath he has left. Trying to regain her lost energy, Alix staggers around a tad in movements not dissimilar to her alcoholic uncle Anthony two hours and ten beers into a family BBQ. The sugary sweetheart flashes her trademark peace sign to show her legion of fans that she's a-okay. She leaps onto City's back, not the most stable of footing considering the twenty year old couldn't realistically weigh anything over 160 pounds. Sensing that her footing is all but disappearing beneath her, Alix moonsaults off him, floating towards his side rather then right in front of him. On her descent, she further amazes everyone privileged enough to watch this slightly above average match by catching him with a spectacular modified DDT~!

 

COLE

Did you see that? Alix moonsaulting off Scott Static, and nailing him with kind of a DDT! Only she landed on her stomach instead of her back.

 

“I'M CUCKOO FOR COCO PUFFS!!!” Alix screams before hitting Big City with a gorgeous standing 630 Senton, which spawns a rowdy round of “ALIX!” chants. Always the show off, Alix continues her spot fest by standing back up and hitting a reverse 450 Splash! OH! $cotty smartly moves out of the way, deflating the pro-Alix crowd by causing the feisty baby face to crash into the beige mat. Pulling himself together, $tatic leaves her lying on the floor and runs to the ropes. He hops onto the third one and rockets back at her with a lionsault! But Alix, who employs that move more then anyone in the OAOAST, saw it coming a mile away and rolls forward to avoid it. Fortunately for GPX, $cotty saw her avoidance coming as well and manages to land on his feet. Collecting her strength, Alix stands up. $tatic clinches his fist and tries to bust her open with a straight punch! However she stymies the younger fighter by intercepting him with a swiftly planted kick to the stomach, bending him over! With the fans cheering her on, Alix sets her challenger up for a pile driver! Instead of using the basic and unimpressive move, she sunset flips forward and absolutely crushes her poor antagonist with a phenomenal Burning Sensation When You Urinate (sunset flip pile driver)! $tatic's head spikes into the mat, his body going limp before it even falls to the ground. The 191 pounder flops onto his back, not even able to take a single breath. Alix hooks his left leg for a pin fall.

 

CROWD

1

 

 

 

 

 

CROWD

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CROWD

3!!!!!!

 

After the word three leaves their lips, the fans erupt with jubilant cheers for the outcome. Lindsay Lohan's hot joint leaks out of the speakers, competing with the rising noise level from the stands and the shouting ring announcer!

 

BUFFER

Your winner and still professional wrestling tag team champions of the world....CHICKS OVER DICKS!

 

Alix accepts her title graciously, beaming that beauty pageant smile into the hearts of the viewers. She foists the championship high into the air, and the numerous fans who rushed to the merchandise stand before the match to purchase a replica belt do the same. Krista is seen outside, leaning against the ring apron, a mess of yellow hair hanging in front of her face clutching her hurt neck, but none the less the relieved to see that her tag team title has been retained.

 

CABOOSE

That entire Anderson Cup....wasted! We might as well have put the South Central Militia in GPX's place!

Edited by Patty O'Green

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Cole: Lets break away for a moment where Mean Gene is standing by with The 70s Dude. Take it away Mean Gene!

 

*cameras shift to the back where Mean Gene Okerlund, microphone in hand, is standing beside The 70s Dude in front of a concrete wall in the back painted up with the AngleMania IV logo.*

 

Mean Gene: 70s Dude, in moments you face the former OAOAST World’s Heavyweight Champion Calvin Szechstein. After all the things you have put this man through how can you feel comfortable not only entering the ring with him, but entering a Texas Death Match?

 

70s Dude: Ho ho Gene-O! See that’s just the thing that’s going to work in The Dude’s favor. Take a look at The Dude for a moment. You don’t see some hot head that can’t control himself, no, quite the contrary. That’s because The Dude is always calm, cool, and collected…most of all cool if ya dig me Daddy-O. So tonight, The Dude aint gonna just walk out of Manhattan with a win, I’ll be walking out having sent Cal packing. Cause you see your time on The Magical Mystery Tour of Funk is nearing its end…last stop…AngleMania IV.

 

*The Dude walks off and the cameras go right back to the ring where Howard Finkel is standing.*

 

The Fink: The following contest is a Texas Death Match!

 

am4-DUDEVSCAL.jpg

 

*the fans rise to their feet and start a decent sized cheer but it doesn’t last long as the houselights dim and several large disco balls and strobe lights are lowered from the ceiling all across the arena covering the people in attendance with various colors. The fans begin to boo but KC & The Sunshine Band’s “Boogieman” hits the loud speakers and slightly drowns them out. The 70s Dude walks out and stands at the entrance way where he just ignores the jeers and does the dance from Saturday Night Fever.*

 

The Fink: Making his way down the aisle first, all the way from Newark New Jersey…he is The 70s Dude!

 

*The 70s Dude makes his way down to the ring ignoring several insults and a sign that says “Disco sucks” which a fan makes sure he sees by reaching it out far over the guardrail.*

 

Cole: For weeks now we’ve seen both Calvin and The 70s Dude play games of “Top this” with the most recent additions ending in brawls.

 

Caboose: Calvin should have been suspended and arrested for his actions lately. That temper of his is clearly out of control. He’s a liability at this point and we should all be thankful The 70s Dude is here to put a stop to it.

 

*The 70s Dude enters the ring and as he does so the strobe lights and disco balls are raised back to the rafters where they had once been and the music is cut.*

 

The Fink: And his opponent, coming to us from Milwaukee, Wisconsin…Calvin Szechstein!

 

*The fans get on their feet and cheer wildly as the cameras once again take us to the back where Mean Gene is standing with Calvin fast approaching.*

 

MEAN GENE: Calvin, your match with the 70's Dude is seconds away... any final words before you head out there?

 

CALVIN: I'll give you an interview after I'm done, Gene.

 

*Calvin goes to storm through the curtain -- "I'm The Bomb" is already playing -- but Szechstein stops and turns back to Mean Gene.*

 

CALVIN: Oh, and if I don't walk back through that curtain, it's because I got arrested for the beating I'm about to lay down.

 

*The cameras take us back to the ring where The 70s Dude is methodically pacing and awaiting his opponent to walk out. He doesn’t have to wait long though as Calvin darts out of the back and runs down and into the ring causing Finkel to leave quickly and referee Mike Chioda to ring the bell. The 70s Dude and Calvin immediately start exchanging punches back and forth while the fans still cheer loudly for Calvin’s entrance.*

 

Cole: We’re under way folks! Calvin with a right, Dude with a right, Calvin with a right, and Dude with another right sending Calvin stumbling back! The Dude grabs him and irish whips him into the far side and HiiiiIiiiiigh Back Body Drop!

 

*Calvin gets up quickly however but turns into a running Suicide Clothesline by The 70s Dude sending Calvin hard to the floor while The Dude braces himself to land arse first on the apron. The fans boo and The Dude just smiles back at them before going down to the floor and bringing Calvin to his feet. The Dude goes to irish whip him into the guardrail but Calvin reverses (!) sending the Dude hard into the cold steel sternum first.*

 

Coach: We knew this wasn’t going to be a match full of holds and mat wrestling, but I don’t think any of us thought it would get so brutal so quickly.

 

Caboose: Neither of these men are out to win a match. Both are only out there to hurt the other and send a message!

 

*Calvin walks a short ways to the Time Keepers table and grabs a steel-folding chair to the delight of the screaming fans. He begin to walk towards The 70s Dude with it lifted high in the air but stops when he sees The Dude has a chair of his own*

 

Cole: The 70s Dude just reached over the railing, pushed the fan away and grabbed their chair!

 

Caboose: This is about survival, Michael Cole. The Dude needs to worry about himself before the comfort of these ham and eggers.

 

*Both men look at each other for a moment before swinging their chairs at one another. The chairs come together with a large clanging noise, again and the same result, and once more…but this time the vibration causes The Dude to drop his chair and turn for a moment while shaking his head. He refocuses, looks up, and SMASH (!) gets the chair right across his skull!*

 

Coach: My god what a sickening shot!

 

*The 70s Dude stumbles back near the guardrail while Calvin follows. The Dude turns his head and Calvin nails him again with the chair, this time swinging it like a baseball bat and causing the Dude to roll backwards over the railing and into the fans. The people near-by scream obscenities at The 70s Dude while security holds them at bay and the other fans cheer on Calvin who’s holding his chair high up with one hand.*

 

Cole: That’s steel on flesh folks. There’s nothing forgiving about that.

 

*Calvin climbs the ring apron and throws the chair into the ring while looking out to the fans. The 70s Dude is trying to bring himself to his feet by using the other chairs around him. While he’s doing that Calvin climbs up to the second turnbuckle and once again looks to the crowd*

 

Caboose: What the hell is he thinking?!

 

Cole: He can’t…I mean he wouldn’t. That’s a 10 foot drop and The 70s Dude is still in the front row!

 

*Calvin not caring much about the laws of physics however looks out to the fans one more time before climbing the top turnbuckle. The Dude gets to his feet and looks up while blood comes down from his forehead, obviously caused by the previous chair-shots. Flash bulbs around the arena start to go off as Calvin jumps from the top and into the front row, hitting The 70s Dude with a Body Splash that sends them both back into a few abandoned seats and hard to the floor.*

 

“Holy Shit!”

 

“Holy Shit!”

 

“Holy Shit!”

 

Coach: My god! He had to have flown a good 15 feet in the air!

 

Cole: We may need paramedics out here!

 

Caboose: I’ve been in and seen a lot of matches in my day, but even I have to admit that I’ve never quite seen something like this. One of these men isn’t going to walk away from this if what we just saw is any indication.

 

*Mike Chioda leaves the ring and goes to the floor to survey the carnage. As he does, both competitors begin to move and show signs of life. They each struggle to their knees and again begin to trade punches. The 70s Dude however blocks Calvin’s second right and rams him by the back of his head into the guardrail. The Dude brings himself to his feet once again with the aid of a chair and starts stomping into Calvin with a couple of kicks to the ribs. The Dude brings Calvin to his feet and grabs him with a waist-lock from behind, he then gives him an automic drop onto the guard-rail which leaves all the males in attendance grabbing their own beans and grimacing along with Calvin. The 70s Dude makes his way over the guardrail as Calvin teeters over the guardrail. Calvin goes to drop but his right foot gets wedged in between two bars leaving him struggling in a tree of woe position! The Dude grabs the chair off the floor that he lost before and looks to the crowd who begin boo and try to cheer Calvin out of this predicament.*

 

Coach: Good god, Calvin is defenseless!

 

Caboose: He could have stayed at home Coach, but he brought this all on himself!

 

*The 70s Dude pulls the chair back and goes to swing but at the last moment he stops himself. He then shines a sick grin while the fans wonder what’s going on. The Dude lays a boot into Calvin who’ still hanging over the guardrail and then makes his way up the steps and to the opposite side of the apron.*

 

Cole: What is he going to do here?!

 

*The Dude holds the chair up with one hand before tucking it under his arm. He then runs full force from the far side of the apron and jumps off, mashing Calvin’s head between the steel chair and the guardrail. The force of the blow actually frees Calvin who slumps to the floor beside The 70s Dude who is feeling the effects of landing hard on the floor himself.*

 

Cole: Oh my…Calvin’s opened up now too. This is becoming a blood bath, plain and simple.

 

*Mike Chioda once again inspects the damage to see if both men can continue and as he does so the two competitors crawl towards the ring. The 70s Dude is able to pull himself up first with the help of the ring apron and he rolls in under the bottom rope. Calvin slowly brings himself to his feet and climbs the ring apron. The Dude sees this and rushes forward to knock him off but Calvin nails him in the mid-section with a shoulder block between the middle and top rope. As The Dude gasps for breath Calvin shoots himself over the top rope and grabs the Dude for a sunset flip*

 

1!

 

 

2!

 

Kickout!

 

*The Dude and Calvin both get to their feet this time and The Dude throws a right hand…but Calvin ducks under it and grabs The Dude for a neckbreaker instead! He floats over and hooks the Dude’s leg*

 

1!

 

 

2!

 

Kickout!

 

*Calvin gets to his feet and lets out a battle cry that incites the crowd into cheers.*

 

Cole: Where is he getting this extra rush from?!

 

*Calvin brings the Dude to his feet and Irish whips him into the ropes. He goes for the backdrop but lowers his head too soon and the Dude is able to stop his own momentum before reaching Calvin and then traps Cal’s head in-between his legs. He grabs the back of Cal’s tights and falls hard with a sitting piledriver. The Dude floats over and lays across Cal’s face and chest for the pin.*

 

1!

 

2!

 

Kickout!

 

*The fans go crazy and start to cheer on Calvin as The Dude looks back to the ref in shock.*

 

Coach: There’s still some fight left in my boy Cal, yet!

 

*The 70s Dude slides the chair Cal threw into the ring earlier over with his foot and then brings Cal to his feet. He lands a kick to Cal’s mid-section, then grabs him and plants him hard on the chair with a Double Underhook DDT!*

 

Caboose: Hoo hoo hoo! That’s it!

 

*The Dude hooks covers Cal and hooks the leg*

 

1!

 

2!

 

3!!!!

 

Caboose: Its over!

 

Cole: Not quite Caboose. Calvin still has a chance if he can get up before the 10 count.

 

*The Dude rolls off and the ref motions for him to get back and begins the count.*

1

 

2

 

Caboose: Like I said Cole, its over

 

3

 

*Calvin starts to stir and roll to his side*

 

4

 

Cole: I wouldn’t count him out just yet!

 

5

 

*Calvin gets to his knees and The 70s Dude slowly begins to walk towards him*

 

6

 

*Calvin gets to his feet to break the count but is quickly knocked back down to a knee by a vicious right hand. The Dude hits another right sending Cal back down to the mat completely and then lays in a couple of boots. He turns to the blood stained chair laying near, picks it up and waffles Calvin with it in the back a few times rapidly before throwing it down in a fit of rage.*

 

Coach: The 70s Dude looks like he’s getting frustrated now! …Wait, where’s he going?

 

*With Calvin laid out and clutching at the small of his back, The Dude exits the ring and pulls up the apron tarp. He starts pulling chairs out and shoving them aside before he gets what he’s looking for.*

 

Cole: He’s got a table!

 

*The Dude sets up the table and then reaches back under the ring. The fans gasp as he holds up what he pulled out*

 

Coach: That’s a roll of barbed wire! What does he plan on doing with that?!

 

*As Coach asks The Dude is quick to answer through actions. He begins wrapping the barbed wire around the wooden part of the table until it becomes a flatbed of barbs. He then lets the rest of the roll drop beside the table and reaches back under the ring. While this is going on Calvin slowly starts to pull himself up on the other side of the ring with the use of the ropes.*

 

Cole: What’s this lunatic going for now…wait a minute, he pulled out some kind of bag…

 

Caboose: Its obviously loaded. He’s going to take Cal’s head off with it and then put him through that barbed-table.

 

*The Dude lifts the bag high in the air and spills the contents out across the top of the table while Calvin exits the ring on the other side and makes his way around.*

 

Coach: That’s glass, guys! Thousands and thousands of shards of broken glass!

 

*The Dude throws the empty sack to the ground, backs up a bit, and turns around to see Calvin running, jump atop the steel steps and then leap off with a flying clothesline that sends them both back down on the floor. Calvin mounts the Dude afterwards and starts laying in the rights while blood drips from his forehead and falls onto The Dude’s chest. The Dude isn’t the only one to be wearing his opponents blood however as Calvin’s fist is stained from the repeated strikes. Cal brings The Dude to his feet and rolls him into the ring, ignoring the Bed of Pain that The Dude has set up on the outside. Calvin enters the ring and brings The Dude back to his feet. He Irish-whips the Dude into the ropes and after The Dude bounces off lands a knee into his flabby mid-section. The Dude starts to fall to his knees but Calvin keeps him from doing so and instead lets the Dude’s head fall in-between his legs.*

 

Caboose: He’s going to piledrive The 70s Dude onto that chair to pay him back! What an unoriginal hack!

 

*Cal does lift him up in the piledriver position but he allows the Dude to slide down a bit and then hooks his legs around the Dude’s arms.*

 

Coach: That’s no piledriver Boose!

 

*Calvin jumps and plants The Dude hard face first in the middle of the ring.*

 

Cole: The Clash! He hit the Clash!

 

*Calvin slowly brings himself to his feet and makes his way to the corner.*

 

Coach: What’s he doing? Cover him Calvin, its elementary now!

 

*Calvin however not satisfied with just hitting The Clash climbs the turnbuckle and stands on top. He looks to the fans who are standing on their feet and cheering him on. Calvin looks to the left, looks to the right, and then leaps off with a beautiful elbow drop that would even impress Randy Savage. He nails The Dude right in the sternum but the impact causes him to bounce a tad away from The Dude’s body and Calvin lays a couple feet away trying to catch his breath.*

 

Cole: If he can just cover him then this one is over!

 

Caboose: No, it can’t end this way. Get up Dude!

 

*The two competitors lay on their backs almost motionless except for the breathing. Mike Chioda begins the count on both of them.*

 

1

 

 

2

 

 

3

 

 

Cole: You may have hit the nail on the head earlier Caboose when you said one of these men wouldn’t leave here walking. Right now though it looks like both could be out.

 

4

 

5

 

*Calvin rolls himself over onto his stomach and starts to crawl towards The Dude.*

 

6

 

7

 

*Calvin gets close enough to The Dude where he’s able to just lay an arm across him.*

 

1!

 

 

2!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Cole: How did he kick out of that?!

 

Caboose: It’s the will to win, Cole. Having never competed in the ring its something you would know nothing about.

 

*The fans react with both gasps from shock and boo as The Dude kicks out. From there they start cheering on Calvin to make it back to his feet before The Dude. Both men however start to get up around the same time. The Dude rears back and throws a right, but Calvin blocks it and nails one of his own. The Dude tries once again and gets the same results causing the fans to come back to life. Before The Dude can try for a third Calvin whips him into the ropes, but the Dude Reverses! Cal bounces off the ropes and The Dude drops on his stomach causing Cal to skip over him and go to the other side. Cal bounces off the far side of the ropes and The Dude uses Cal’s own momentum to shove him by the back of the head over the top rope. Calvin barely misses the rigged table from before! The Dude falls to all fours and catches his breath while Calvin once again lays on the outside.*

 

Coach: These two can’t go on much longer like this. They’ve both lost a lot of blood and the fatigue is really starting to set in.

 

*The Dude grabs the bloodied chair from before and walks to the corner. As he ascends the turnbuckles Calvin is slowly making his way to his feet. He turns his head to see what The Dude is doing and grabs one of the chairs pulled from underneath the ring. The Dude sits atop the turnbuckle before tucking the bloodied chair under his arm and raising it to incite the fans. As he puts the arm down and readies himself to once again dive at Calvin he finds a steel chair flying in his direction. The chair nails him in the mid-section causing him to drop the one he was holding.*

 

Cole: Calvin just launched the chair at The 70s Dude!

 

*Calvin lifts another chair and throws it at The 70s Dude, this time nailing him right in the head with it and causing more blood to just fly off his face along with some sweat as well. The Dude sits on the top turnbuckle in a dazed state giving Calvin the opportunity to climb the apron and meet him up there. Calvin lays in a right hand before wrapping an arm around The Dude’s neck and grasping onto his pants.*

 

Coach: Oh wait…no…

 

*Calvin lifts The 70s Dude for a suplex. Both men fall back but Calvin is able to float over in mid-air to brace himself before they both go through the barbed-table covered in glass! The sound of wood cracking and glass being crushed into the concrete from the pressure fills the arena. Many fans stand silent in shock while others cheer wildly and once again chant “Holy Shit!”. Calvin and The 70s Dude however lay motionless in the mess of broken wood, barbed wire, and shattered glass.*

 

Cole: That’s enough! Somebody needs to end this. We need paramedics out here now!

 

*Mike Chioda goes to the outside, leans over both men and then looks to the back waving his arm to signal for help. After a few minutes some trainers run down to check on both men while two paramedics make their way down with a gurney and stretcher.*

 

Cole: I’m sorry folks but this match can’t continue. Both of these men look like they’ve gone through a car wreck.

 

Caboose: Ya, enough is enough. Even I know that there’s no winners from this.

 

*The trainers help Calvin crawl away to the side where they tend to him and the paramedics begin to place The 70s Dude onto the gurney and then lift him onto the stretcher and raise it.*

 

Coach: Both of these men gave everything they had tonight. There will be another time and place to settle this.

 

*The Paramedics raise the stretcher and begin wheeling it to the back while also trying to fasten The 70s Dude down onto it. Calvin sees this after a few moments and pushes the trainers aside.*

 

Caboose: What the hell…?

 

*Calvin runs down the aisle as fast as his tired legs will allow him to and meets up with the paramedics and The 70s Dude. He pushes one of the paramedics to the ground and then points the other one off to another direction.*

 

Cole: That’s enough Calvin. Let it go! We’re going to need security!

 

Coach: I don’t think this match was ever stopped. I never heard a bell…

 

*Calvin gets behind the stretcher and begins to run with it full speed towards the ring. The 70s Dude sits up slightly, his arm still strapped down to the gurney and realizes he can only try to brace himself for what’s about to come. Calvin sends the stretcher right into the side of the ring, catapulting The 70s Dude off of it along with the stretcher attached to his arm.*

 

Caboose: See?! This man is psychotic and Josie Baker only has herself to blame for what’s happening now!

 

*Calvin pushes the stretcher off of The 70s Dude and to the side. He then brings The Dude to his feet and rolls him along with the gurney into the ring near the corner. Calvin looks to the fans and motions out to them.*

 

Cole: He’s motioning for the 450! If he hits that with the shape The 70s Dude is in…

 

Caboose: Somebody get Calvin out of here already!

 

*Calvin slowly begins to walk up the steel steps. From there he begins to make his way up the turnbuckles. He gets to the middle one and The Dude starts to stir. He gets to the top and leans over to balance himself before the 450 and gets cracked in the head causing him to fall and straddle the top turnbuckle.*

 

Coach: The 70s Dude just used that gurney as a weapon. He may have knocked Calvin out with that shot!

 

Caboose: Brilliant! I knew that stopping this match would be a mistake.

 

*The 70s Dude pulls himself to his feet and swings the gurney once more at Calvin. The sick thud from thick plastic on skull fills the arena and Calvin just begins to teeter back obviously out on his feet (or in this case BUTT since he’s sitting down). The Dude throws the gurney to the outside and climbs up to the second turnbuckle.*

 

Cole: I don’t even wanna watch…

 

*The Dude spits in Calvin’s face and then pulls him over atop his shoulders. From there he dives off the middle turnbuckle and sends Calvin down hard on the back of his head and neck.*

 

Coach: Draft Dodger from the second turnbuckle! My god what a sick maneuver!

 

*The Dude takes what little strength he has to roll over and put an arm across Calvin.*

 

1!

 

2!

 

3!

 

*The Dude then rolls off and pulls himself slowly to the corner to sit while the ref goes for the 10 count.*

 

1

 

 

2

 

 

3

 

 

Cole: I don’t think Calvin’s moving you guys…

 

4

 

 

5

 

 

6

 

 

Caboose: Those paramedics may want to make their way back down. They’re going to need another stretcher though…one for Calvin and one for his career!

 

7!!!

 

 

Coach: Caboose!

 

8!!!!!

 

*The fans are cheering wildly for Calvin hoping for a comeback*

 

 

9!!!!!!!!

 

 

*But it never comes and Calvin lays motionless on his back*

 

 

10~!~!~!~!~!

 

*Mike Chioda signals for the bell and the fans seem to be in complete shock.*

 

The Fink: Your winner…The 70s Dude!

 

*Chioda raises The 70s Dude’s arm while he sits in the corner still exhausted. Paramedics make their way down with another stretcher and gurney. The 70s Dude exits the ring and slowly makes his way down aisle propping himself up with the help of the guardrail. The paramedics begin fastening Calvin onto the gurney and the camera focuses on Sofa Central.*

 

Cole: I can’t believe what we just witnessed here. These two men put their lives on the line for this one. They gave you their sweat, their blood, and their tears…but most of all they gave you their heart and souls in this one.

 

Coach: Absolutely amazing Cole. These two men are never going to be the same after this one. Who knows when we’ll see Calvin next? I just hope him a speedy recovery.

 

Caboose: There’s a reason they put the word “Death” in the middle of this match title. You don’t go in there expecting a walk in the park and if you do then you won’t make it out. I’ll give Calvin his dues but tonight he just didn’t have a chance.

 

Cole: Well as good as that match was the next one promises to be even better, as its time for the big six-man tag team match. The Original Elite vs. Zack Malibu, Some Guy and Caboose. 'Boosy[.i]...

 

Caboose: The way you said that sent chills up my spine.

 

Cole: ...we want you to know that whatever happens, we enjoyed our time together. I know you gotta go backstage, so good luck.

 

Caboose sets his headset down, the crowd popping as he gets up and heads backstage.

 

Cole: Godspeed, friend. As we prepare for our next match, I understand we have something going on backstage...with C.O.D.!

 

Coach: This is gonna be good. It always is.

 

Backstage, the tag team champions, Alix and Krista are in front of a candy vending machine

 

KRISTA

Come on, Alix! Hurry up!

 

ALIX

Don’t rush me, humanoid! I’m deciding my future.

 

KRISTA

You’re deciding wether you want Sour patch kids or a Snickers bar.

 

ALIX

I dunno. Have you seen that commercial where the Sour Patch Kid, like, burns down your house, then humps your leg after he does it? That’s cool. Because he’s all like mean at first burning down your house and stuff, but then he’s all like “Sorry, man. Let’s just be friends and I’ll hump your leg.” That’s really cool, because he doesn’t have to do that. He can just go on about his merry house burning way, but he chooses to stay behind and let you know that things are hella cool. But, if like Snickers burned down my house, I dunno if he’d be nice enough to hump me afterwards and that...

 

KRISTA

Oh who cares?! Pick one! It doesn’t matter which, you’re gonna throw it up in an hour anyway!

 

Alix fumbles through her pockets, then realizes she has no change.

 

ALIX

Kristaaaaaaa, I’m out of money! Gimmie seventy five cents and I promise I’ll stop selling your edible panties on e-bay!

 

KRISTA

I don’t own edible underwear!

 

ALIX

How come the purple ones don’t taste like grape? They just taste like nylon and spandex and are really hard to swallow!

 

KRISTA

Quit eating my underwear!

 

ALIX

And why do they all smell like rotten eggs?

 

James E Cornette, tennis racket expert and managerial genius, strolls onto the scene with a confident swagger befitting a made man such as himself.

 

CORNETTE

(to Alix)

Here's $5, sweetheart. Buy yourself a steak.

 

KRISTA

5 bucks?! You ain't no curtain jerker. I know you gotta have more than 5 bucks. You own your own company, for the love of all my children.

 

CORNETTE

I do. But I'm not gonna give anything higher than a 5 when I know your partner over there would probably spend it on a dozen bottles of Elmer's Glue.

 

ALIX

Elmer? That reminds me of the man who would sneak into my room at night, while my mommy was passed out on the couch after getting high on Raid and lay on top of me, and tell me how much he loved playing with my wabbit tail as he pushed up really, really, really, really hard. Hud-hud-hud-hud. That's the noise he'd make. But...ya know what was weird? Every time, right before he'd get off of me, it felt like a sprinkler was going off in my wabbit tail. One morning I woke up with a really, really, really, really bad tummy ache. My bed was covered in red liquid. I thought I had spilled my Kool-Aid Jammer again, but it tasted saltly, so I knew it wasn't Kool-Aid. By the way, did you know Kool-Aid Jammers have riddles inside them now? I had one that says "How do you catch a school of fish?" The answer: "With a bookworm." Isn't that just the coolest thing, like, ever?

 

CORNETTE

Yeah. Well, congraulations. So, Krista, as the sane member of C.O.D., whaddya say about putting those belts on the line against the New New Midnight Express, huh?

 

KRISTA

A title shot for the Express!? For what? For getting beat by a tag team that spent the better part of two months being our personal bitches? No way, no how. Jim Cornette, you’re a funny a guy. You have no actual talent of your own to speak of, so what do you do? You exploit those with talent to get your wealth. And you think you can exploit Alix and I, the most popular women in this sport, to get yourself to a higher level and get a tag team title shot in the process. Forget it! You’re nothing special. Not in the least. So you can talk a good game? Big deal. There are hustlers, drug dealers, and pimps on every street corner that can talk faster, smoother and better then you. The only difference is instead of exploiting women like they do, you pimp muscle head, dead beat, primadonna’s like Ned Blanchard. So, I guess I’ll give you credit for that. You’re smart enough to know how to manipulate truly talented but truly stupid individuals into thinking that you had something to do with their successes. Yes, I’ll give you that, James. But what I won’t give you is this satisfaction of seeing those ass holes in the Midnight Express get a title shot. Now beat it. Before I beat you.

 

ALIX

Ooooh Skittles. Pretty colors!

 

CORNETTE

You may talk to me like that, but I bet you won't talk to those guys like that.....

 

KABAMAMA! The Sultan of Sarcasm Simon Singleton drops Alix Spezia with a wicked forearm to the back! Before her stunned partner can collect her thoughts and react, The Handsome Hustler Ned Blanchard drops her with his own forearm to the back. We can hear the jeers of the fans in the arena. Singleton, never one to mind the dirty work, punishes each champion with alternating stomps, while Neddy Bear combs his beautiful wavy blond hair. Cornette just giggles with glee, while clapping his hands together at the perceived comedy.

 

NED

Krissy, you go down for a guy as quick ever, I see. That's what I love about ya.

 

Mean Ol Simon picks up Alix’s Snickers bar and begins to eat it.

 

COLE

My God, what was that all about? The New New Midnight Express ambushed C.O.D. in the back. I-I--I don't know what to say. I'm--I'm sure we'll find out more this... Thursday on HeldDOWN~!

Edited by Tony149

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COLE

Ladies and Gentlemen, the phrase “Grudge Match” is thrown around a lot in wrestling today, but what you’re about to see truly is a blood feud. The new version of The Original Elite is going to be taught a serious lesson in respect as they take on Zack Malibu, Caboose and Some Guy.

 

COACH

You might be right Mikey. But the Elite does have some advantages. Caboose and Some Guy haven’t wrestled in a while, while Black T are active and at the top of their game.

 

COLE

But neither of those are former world champions. Zack and Caboose are.

 

COACH

And so is CWM.

 

COLE

Either way, the ring is about to fill with six legendary OAOAST superstars, and one thing is for sure, none of them will ever be the same after tonight. Good luck out their, ‘boose, we’re all pulling for you.

 

Cue: “Conchise”

 

Cue: A thunderous ovation!

 

BUFFER

The following contest is the 6 man tag match set for one fall. Introducing team number one, first, from Derby, England, weighing 230lbs, he is a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion – CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!

 

And the man himself walks out. Two weeks ago, he was the only man in the company willing to step up and defend the pariah, Zack Malibu. He’s spent the past couple of years (and much of tonight) deriding heroes and praising rule breakers. But when it’s a matter of respect, things are very different. Tonight Caboose has a chance to be the biggest hero of them all.

 

Clad in long dark tights, ‘boose walks down to the ring, a small smile on his face as he soaks up a rapturous reception.

 

COLE

The fans love that Caboose!

 

COACH

This is Anglemania, Mikey! It’s all about dream matches and dreams coming true, and for many fans, Caboose’s return provides both those things!

 

Caboose rolls into the ring and climbs each turnbuckle in turn, raising his arms to the capacity crowd, nodding his head. It’s good to be back. Caboose drops to the mat and shakes the hand of our referee for this contest. Senior official Earl Hebner is the man with the job of keeping six men within the rules.

 

Cue: "Sexy Boy"...

 

...And cue another ”welcome back” pop!

 

COLE

Its been a while since Caboose has stepped into the squared circle, but its been ever longer for this man! Some Guy! Some Guy! Some Guy!

 

COACH

One of the earliest members of this great company. A member of the dreaded aWo actually alongside one of the men he faces tonight, CWM.

 

BUFFER

From Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 245 lbs., this is Sooooooooooooome GUY!

 

SG strolls down to the ring looking relaxed and confident, climbing into the ring and shaking hands with Caboose, exchanging a few words before breaking out THE POSE~! and throwing a fist up, as Caboose steps up onto the ropes and helps encourage the cheers for them both. The arena then falls silent as "Sexy Boy" cuts out, but the throbbing bass chords of a once-loathed anthem brings the crowd into their third consecutive huge pop.

 

Cue: “Getting Away With Murder”

 

BUFFER

And finally, from Los Angeles California, weighing 195lbs, he is a former two time OAOAST World Champion, the “Franchise” of the OAOAST, Zack MALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

 

Zack walks out on to the stage. If there was any doubt as to the fans re-acceptance of Zack, its gone now as they blow the roof off the arena. A slightly unusual expression appears on the face of Malibu. He looks almost humble.

 

*ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!*

 

The crowd chant Malibu on his way to the ring. It’s a little early to be talking about redemption, but if Zack wants it, this crowd are willing to contribute.

 

COLE

It’s a testament to the skill and guts of Zack Malibu that this crowd is behind him tonight. He’s made a lot of mistakes these past months, but there’s never been any doubting his ability in that ring. I hope the Elite know what they’re letting themselves in for.

 

Zack greets his team mates in the middle of the ring, thanking them both for their presence before all 3 turn to face the entrance way and await 3 men about to get a very different reception.

 

Cue: “Quiet”

 

*BLACK T SUCKS! BLACK T SUCKS!*

 

BUFFER

And their opponents, first, from London England, weighing 241lbs, he is the “Ice Heart” Daaaaan BLLLLLLLACK! From Hollywood California, weighing 295lbs, “The Body” Toooooooo-neeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRANIGAN! This-Is-BLAAAAAAAAAACK TEEEEEEEEEE!

 

COLE

Possibly – probably – the greatest tag team in OAOAST history. Two great wrestlers in their own right. Two of the biggest *bleeps* this company has ever employed.

 

Dan, in short tights, one leg black, the other white, and Tony, long porno tights, walk to the ring. There’s no JR. No jackets or robes. Not even any sunglasses. There’s business to be taken care of.

 

Black T ignore the jeers and catcalls of the fans. They even ignore the trash flung at them, empty cartons bouncing off the sculpted chest of Tony Brannigan. Black T reach ringside. Caboose and Some Guy immediately grab the arms of Zack, who reassures them that he’s cool. Malibu settles for fixing Black and Brannigan with a steely glare.

 

“Hows your girlfriend?” Dan Black asks Zack cuttingly, referring to the Black Out he gave Candie last month. Malibu’s teeth clench, but he’s still patient. Black T are here. Their time will come soon enough. These two men have been with the company since its beginning, but they’ve never had the top spot. They’ve never felt the kind of power that Zack Malibu has. They’re jealous, ambitious and, it seems, entirely amoral. If they prevail tonight, who knows what dark era they could usher in.

 

Dan and Tony decline to enter the ring, instead awaiting the third man of the new Original Elite.

 

Cue: "You Know You're Right"

 

It’s an all-grunge theme for the Elite, as Nirvana fills the arena, closely followed by the boos of the fans. A man has gone from adulation to revulsion in just a few short weeks. A man has come to finally take his revenge upon Zack Malibu. And there’s hell in his eyes as he walks down to the ring.

 

BUFFER

And their partner, from Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada, weighing 245lbs, he is a former OAOAST World Champion, CEEEEEEEEEEE – DUBYA – EMMMMMMMMMM!

 

COLE

Black T hate Zack Malibu. They hate his dominance over this company. Frankly, they hate that he’s better than them. But CWM? He LOATHES Zack. He loathes him for the injuries inflicted upon him, for what he perceives as Zack’s “golden boy” status. CWM wants to end the legend of Zack Malibu here tonight.

 

CWM, in Nirvana t-shirt and cut off jeans, joins Black T at ringside. The 3 consult briefly and make to enter the ring…and then back off, shaking their heads and laughing mockingly at their opponents, who had gone into fighting stances.

 

Zack looks at SG and Caboose. They both nod, and without warning all 3 men just run and dive between the middle and top ropes, 3 missiles that explode into the Elite, powering them down to the floor!

 

The crowd goes nuclear as Malibu, Some Guy and Caboose stomp down their opponents, who cover up and try to crawl away. Zack tosses CWM into the ring, but the Canadian quickly rolls out the other side. Referee Hebner inserts himself, getting down on the floor and pulling Caboose and SG away from Black T. They back off only after a threatened expulsion from the match before it’s even begun.

 

Zack, ‘boose and SG unite in the middle of the ring once more, raising their arms for another big pop. The Elite regroup on the floor, before finally climbing onto the apron. Zack sends his team mates to their corner, wanting first strike at T.O.E., but Brannigan shakes his head and points at Some Guy. SG grins, only too happy to oblige. Zack isn’t convinced, but it looks like a member of the Elite will only step into the ring to face Some Guy. Malibu eventually gives in, and Dan Black enters the ring for the Elite.

 

COLE

Black and Some Guy to start things off!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COACH

The Elite seem to have the idea that Some Guy is going to be the weak link of their opponents. You can see their reasoning – SG hasn’t wrestled here for the longest. But I think they may be underestimating him.

 

The crowd starts up a “Some Guy! Some Guy!” chant, as Dan scowls and rolls his shoulders out, circling SG who beckons him on. Black makes a dart forward, looking to grab at the leg of SG, testing his reflexes, but SG evades him easily.

 

Instead Dan beckons SG into a lock up, which Black quickly converts into a wristlock, and into a hammerlock on SG, all with his usual smooth efficiency. Dan cinches in the hold, but Some Guy counters, whipping around Black’s body and grabbing him in a side headlock. Dan gets his hand to the small of the back of SG and shoves him off to the ropes. SG rebounds and Black trips him to the mat with a drop toe hold. From there Dan applies a side headlock of his own.

 

COLE

Dan Black using some basic wrestling against Some Guy, testing him out. I have to admit, The Elite do have all the bases covered – Black can wrestle technically, CWM brings the brawl while Brannigan has power.

 

COACH

If Some Guy does have a little ring rust, he’ll need to shake it off quickly or risk getting tied up in knots by Dan.

 

Some Guy attempts to get to his feet. Black allows him up to one knee, before dropping the headlock and using a school boy to pin SG to the mat!

 

ONE!

 

SG kicks out comfortably, but as he rises Black clamps on another headlock. The crowd starts up a beat, impatient to see some Elite ass get kicked.

 

COACH

It looks like the Elite want to keep things slow at the start of this match.

 

COLE

I don’t think they want to get into a brawl this early. They know their opponents are full of anger. If they can get them frustrated, they’re more likely to make mistakes later on.

 

SG pushes Dan off to the ropes and drops to the mat so that Black has to jump over him. Dan bounces of the ropes on the other side – and SG greets him with a lariat! The crowd comes alive as Black scrambles back to his feet and takes Some Chops to the chest. The Englishman’s pectorals begin to glow read as SG chops up a storm! Black is propelled back on the retreat into a vacant corner, where Earl Hebner counts SG off.

 

Black gets his breath back, an annoyed look spread across his visage. He walks forward and just shoves SG hard, his cool technical style temporarily abandoned. Some Guy shoves back, and then swings at Dan. Black, anticipating the strike, ducks it and lashes SG with a stinging European uppercut. Black grabs SG into yet another headlock and moves into the Elite corner, where CWM tags himself in with a slap to Black’s back. The crowd growls, sending hostile vibes at the Canadian as he steps into the ring with a cocky grin upon his face.

 

Dan holds SG in place, allowing CWM to fire a trio of hard knees into his stomach. Earl Hebner gets Black out of the ring as CWM uses stiff forearm shots to stun SG. A whip to the ropes, and a knee lift to the gut has SG down and clutching his midsection. CWM stands over his former aWo stablemate, kicking with disdain at his head. CWM brings SG up and sets for a snap suplex, but Some Guy blocks it with a boot behind CWM’s leg.

 

CWM tries again, and SG counters in into an inside cradle!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Kick out from the former champ, and he and SG spring to their feet, nose to nose. Some Guy is about to strike CWM, when he pauses, and looks around. The crowd pops happily as he and Caboose make eye contact. Caboose nods with a grin. SG strides over and makes the tag to ‘boose!

 

COLE

Yeaaaaahhh! BOOSE! BOOSE! BOOSE! BOOSE!

 

COACH

We’re supposed to be impartial – ah screw it. BOOSE! BOOSE! BOOSE! BOOSE!

 

CWM eyes Caboose with the first signs of nervousness he’s displayed since his return. Caboose meets him in the middle of the squared circle, and the two champions exchange words.

 

”Why the hell are you siding with him anyway?” CWM asks Caboose, “aWo 4eva, remember? Not mean anything to you anymore?”

 

“You’re damn right it doesn’t,” Caboose replies, and rocks CWM with a hard right hand. Caboose whips CWM off the ropes and propels him high into the air with a big back drop! CWM scrambles up, but Caboose is on him with a front facelock and a vertical suplex that snaps CWM’s back into the canvas hard. Caboose scoots over into a cover, but CWM throws him off before Hebner can even get down to cover.

 

COLE

Ah…I think ‘boose just pissed him off.

 

CWM grabs Caboose by the scruff of the neck and fires repeated forearm shots into the side of his head. The flurry of blows gets faster and harder, until CWM winds up for a final, spinning, roaring forearm – that ‘boose giddily ducks! Now Caboose with the forearm shots – CWM responds! The two former allies slug it out viciously, simultaneously smacking living hell out of each other, until they both drop back, almost knocked cold by the exchange.

 

COACH

Firey~!

 

Caboose is down on one knee, holding his head. CWM sees this, and runs in for a Shining Wizard attempt! Caboose blocks the knee attack with his arms however, and rises, hitting CWM with a kick to the gut followed by a jawbreaker that spins him away. Caboose slaps on a waistlock for a German suplex attempt, but CWM runs forward into the Original Elite corner, grabbing the top rope and making a tag to Tony Brannigan. Caboose backs off as Brannigan enters, flexing his impressive biceps and sneering at Caboose.

 

COLE

Brannigan is the biggest man in this match, and we’ve seen over the past year of Black T dominance in the tag division just how devastating his combination of strength, skill and downright sleaze can be.

 

Lock up, and Tony pushes Caboose back onto the ropes. Hebner counts the break, but the instant Brannigan backs away he headbutts Caboose hard. Tony with a whip to the ropes and a shoulder block that slams ‘boose to the mat. Brannigan picks Caboose up, and with a display of strength hoists him up in the vertical suplex position, delaying the move for 5, 10, 15 seconds before finally dropping back and driving Caboose into the canvas.

 

Brannigan immediately brings Caboose back up and plants him back down again with a hard scoop slam into a cover:

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Caboose kicks out and tries to get to his feet. Tony helps him up, and then up even further, as he shows yet more strength in hoisting Caboose up into a gorilla press!

 

COLE

What power from Brannigan! Caboose in trouble here!

 

COACH

Wriggle, ‘boose! Wriggle like Norman Smiley!

 

COLE

That was wiggle, not wriggle.

 

COACH

Oh

 

Despite Coach’s faux pas, Caboose does indeed wriggle out of Tony’s grasp, landing behind the strongman. Caboose applies a waistlock, but with Brannigan’s bulk in the way he doesn’t see Dan Black enter the ring.

 

“Duck!” yells Black to Brannigan, as he bounces off the ropes. Tony does so, and Dan connects with a Yakuza kick to the jaw of his fellow Brit! The crowd draws its breath as Black’s boot makes bone shattering impact and Caboose collapses. Brannigan covers as Hebner ejects Black.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE- kick out!

 

Brannigan brings Caboose up once more and tags his Black T partner. Dan and Tony whip Caboose off the ropes, but he ducks their double team lariat. Black T turn, and Caboose comes flying off the ropes with a leaping double clothesline to both men! Brannigan slides out of the ring as Caboose grabs Dan in and gives him an inverted atomic drop! Black howls in pain and tries to escape but only staggers into his opponent’s corner, where Zack punches him right in the face!

 

Black falls backwards – into Caboose’s clutches – reverse DDT!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

No! Shoulder up from Dan!

 

COLE

Wow, that was close!

 

COACH

The nearest to a three count so far in this match up. I get the feeling it’s going to take something big to win this one. And we haven’t even seen Zack in the ring yet!

 

As if on cue, Caboose brings Black up and looks over at Zack. The crowd shouts their approval, wanting the Franchise to get at one of the men who humiliated him with that brutal beat down. And the man who half broke the neck of his girlfriend.

 

Dan isn’t so keen to meet Malibu, however, and as Caboose makes to bring Dan towards the corner, Black pokes him in the eye!

 

The crowd hurls abuse at Black as he goes on the offence, catching Caboose with a pair of European uppercuts, and then a snapmare take over that leaves ‘boose sitting on his behind. Black smirks at Zack, and then rocks back and -

 

*CRACK!*

 

- propels his boot hard into the spine of his fellow countryman!

 

*CRACK!*

 

*CRACK!*

 

*CRACK!*

 

Black’s kicks impact like gunshots upon the back of Caboose, who grimaces in pain but doesn’t give Dan the satisfaction of yelling out.

 

COLE

Dan really giving it to Caboose. You know, I think he feels a little betrayed. Not only because Caboose is a Brit, but because he’d been so supportive of Black T previously.

 

COACH

Maybe Dan will learn that he and the Elite just take things too far.

 

COLE

I doubt it.

 

Black brings Caboose off the mat, standing to the side of him and wrapping his arms round his waist. Dan then hits him with a belly to back suplex, before picking him up and simply hitting another one.

 

COLE

Dan looks like he’s going after the back of Caboose.

 

COACH

Better get an extra cushion for him for the rest of the night.

 

COLE

You are so sweet.

 

One man who epitomises the complete opposite of sweet is Dan Black. He aims another hard kick into the back of Caboose before tagging CWM. Both Elite men put the boots to ‘boose until Hebner gets Dan out. CWM immediately tags Tony, so they can combine to stomp Caboose for the 5 legal seconds they have. The crowd jeers the Elite’s bending of the rules, as Brannigan tags CWM back in once more!

 

More boots to the back of Caboose. Brannigan is thrown out by Hebner, and CWM whips Caboose to the ropes. He drops his head for a back drop, but Caboose sees it coming and kicks him in the chest. CWM shrugs it off and connects with a forearm. Another whip and CWM leaps into the air with a beautiful dropkick, his boots snapping into the head of Caboose. CWM with a snot rocket onto Caboose, before climbing to the top rope. The Hardcore Canadian leaps off, arm extended for a crushing elbow drop aimed at Caboose’s heart, but the Brit rolls aside to a huge cheer!

 

Caboose rolls over and makes the tag to Zack Malibu! Malibu vaults into the ring, but CWM has already moved across and tagged to Dan Black. Zack is about to attack Black (that’s a lot of “-ack”) when Dan tags Tony. Malibu grunts in anger. Brannigan tags CWM. CWM tags Dan.

 

COLE

More mind games from the Elite. They know Malibu wants at them real bad, but with these revolving tags he really can’t afford to rush in.

 

Black takes a step towards Malibu, nodding – but suddenly looks thoughtful, and steps back to tag Brannigan. Zack, his temper pushed to bursting point by the events of the past month, can’t stand anymore. The red mist descends before his eyes.

 

He rushes at Tony, peppering him with punches, but Black and CWM attack from the apron, knocking Zack to the mat. Some Guy attempts to come to Zack’s aid, but Hebner sees him coming and blocks him off. With the official’s attention diverted, all 3 Elite members are in the ring and beating down the Franchise.

 

“You just never learn, do you” snarls Brannigan as he grinds his boot onto the side of Zack’s face. Black gets Malibu up as CWM grabs Zack by the hair and hurls insults directly into his face. Malibu responds by headbutting CWM to the mat! Malibu escapes Dan’s clutches and floors Tony with a clothesline – but he doesn’t escape Black for long, as Dan applies a waistlock and brings him out into the middle of the ring with a hard German suplex.

 

Some Guy finally accepts defeat, leaving Hebner free to deal with the Elite – but Dan and CWM are out of the ring like a flash, leaving the legal men of Malibu and Brannigan.

 

Tony delivers a pair of elbow drops to the throat of Malibu, leaving him gasping for air. Brannigan brings Zack to his feet, double underhooking his arms and flinging him up and over with a butterfly suplex. Cover:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Kickout!

 

Brannigan grabs a front face lock on Zack and makes a tag to CWM, who enters with a look of sadistic glee. CWM pounds Malibu with repeated forearm shots and chops, before drawing him in and setting for a powerbomb! Zack’s still too fresh to be hit with such a big move however, and escapes by grabbing CWM’s legs and flipping him onto his back. Keeping hold of his enemy’s legs he rolls forward onto CWM in a pinning position:

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

Both men up and Zack goes to work, CWM’s betrayal adding fire to his blows as he slugs at him. Earl Hebner warns Malibu for the closed fists, but Zack isn’t listening, intent on inflicting punishment on his long term rival.

 

COLE

Wow, Zack is just beating the hell outta CWM!

 

COACH

He’s been waiting for this moment, burning for it, every second of the past couple of weeks!

 

CWM collapses onto the mat, covering up, as Malibu stands over him, breathing heavily. “Come on, mother-*bleep*!” yells Zack, as CWM shakes his head and crawls away across the mat. Malibu advances on him, grabs down for CWM – who grabs him by the top of the trunks and drags Zack past him, into the Elite corner, where Black T greet him with a pair of punches. CWM seizes his opportunity, grabbing a stunned Zack out of the corner and hitting him with a cradle piledriver! Cover-

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

CWM tags Dan Black. Black and CWM bring Malibu up and execute a double team hiptoss. Malibu sits up, and the two Elite members both run the ropes and hit stereo basement dropkicks to the back of Zack’s head! Malibu’s head snaps forward hard as the Elite combine to great effect.

 

Caboose and Some Guy watch on with anger, but Hebner has already made it clear he won’t allow them to run in. In addition to that, they know Zack wants a piece of each of these three men.

 

Black brings Malibu up and applies a cravat, twisting at Zack’s head and neck. Black puts his boot into the back of Zack’s left knee, forcing him down to one knee and allowing Dan more leverage on the cravat.

 

COLE

Clearly, Dan knows that Zack’s neck must still be a weak point. No one who saw it could forget the horrific spike piledriver onto the concrete floor that Black T inflicted on Malibu.

 

COACH

Not to mention CWM just gave him another pretty good jolt with that cradle piledriver.

 

Malibu, not wanting to spend a second longer than he has to in the painful, wearing hold, gets back to both feet and elbows Black in the gut. Dan pushes Zack’s knee out again, but he springs right back up and elbows again. This time it’s enough to break Black’s hold, and Zack whips him to the ropes. As Dan rebounds Zack takes him over with a deep arm drag. Black scrambles back up as Zack just charges at him and connects with a Thesz Press!

 

The crowd roars Malibu on as he sits a top of Dan, flaying him with blows.

 

COLE

Yeaaah! Do it for Candie!

 

COACH

That’ll teach Dan to pick on girls!

 

No doubt it would have. But the lesson is cut short, as Earl Hebner has had enough of Malibu’s repeated use of closed fists, and counts him off Dan. Zack springs to his feet, yelling fiercely at the official and grabbing his shirt, reminding everyone of Malibu’s still present darker side.

 

This, of course, gives Dan valuable recovery time. He’s able to sneak up behind Zack, and lock on a half nelson. Malibu looks shocked, but he has no time to react as Black lifts him up, over and dunks him on the back of his head with a vicious half nelson suplex. Black grins at the boos this elicits, before covering –

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THRREEEE – Caboose breaks it up, just as Zack was kicking out.

 

Dan looks frustrated at the kick out, but gets Malibu back to his feet, stinging him with a couple of knife edge chops. Zack recoils, holding the back of his neck. Dan with a European uppercut, and as Malibu staggers onto the ropes he makes the tag to Tony. Black locks a full nelson onto Zack as Brannigan slugs him in the gut. Hebner counts Dan out of the ring, but it does little to help the Franchise as Tony immediately gathers him in and hits a textbook belly to belly suplex.

 

Brannigan tags out to CWM.

 

COLE

The Original Elite are starting to dominate here. All these quick tags are enabling each member of their trio to hit offence and get out without exerting themselves too much. Some Guy and Caboose must be desperate to get in here.

 

COACH

Yeah, Zack’s showing a lot of fight against the Elite, but all the hatred and passion in the world can’t help you when you’re being dropped on your head repeatedly.

 

CWM has Zack up and is setting for another attempt at a powerbomb. As he hoists Malibu into the air, however, Malibu flips out and lands on his feet. Zack nails CWM with a dropkick, and goes for a tag to Some Guy, but CWM rushes back to his feet and cuts him off, grabbing him by the trunks and propelling him away from his teams corner into the adjacent empty corner. CWM flings Zack shoulder first, through the ropes, into the ring post!

 

CWM laughs as he drags Zack out and covers him:

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THRE- Kick out.

 

CWM springs to his feet and stands behind Malibu, as the wounded Franchise starts to get to his feet.

 

Dan and Tony cheer CWM on, as he gestures for the Pollycutter…

 

COLE

Uh-oh…look out Zack!

 

COACH

If he hits this…

 

Caboose and SG yell for Zack to look out, as he staggers up, turns, and –

 

Pollycutter!

 

No! Malibu pushes him off to the ropes, CWM rebounds – right into a desperation MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER! Zack jars CWM with the hard drop to the ringmat, then falls back out of exhaustion, leaving both men to look up at the lights. After several moments of both men trying to catch their breath, Zack starts to crawl over for the tag.

 

COLE

He's been brutalized for weeks. He's been brutalized throughout this contest. Now Zack Malibu needs to get to his corner, needs to make the tag, and allow one of these OAOAST Legends the chance to humble the Elite once and for all!

 

Some Guy pounds on the turnbuckles with his right hand, his left arm outstretched awaiting a tag. Caboose stands on the bottom rope and leans in, also looking for the tag...but Malibu is suddenly dragged backwards by Tony Brannigan, who enters the ring illegally!

 

COACH

What a playahater!

 

The crowd boos, and Tony throws his hands up in mock apology towards the ref...but Caboose and Some Guy have seen enough and enter the ring. Dan Black comes in as well, while CWM recovers, and suddenly it's a face off, with the referee scrambing to regain some order. The staredown is intense, as Caboose and Some Guy block the path to Zack, allowing him to pull himself up with the help of the ropes. Malibu turns around, but simultaneously all eyes are on him, as Caboose and Some Guy's demeanor changes, as they slowly turn and scowl at Zack.

 

COLE

What the...

 

COACH

Mikey, what are they doing.

 

All of a sudden, CWM starts laughing, and Zack is backed in the corner, as all five approach. All at once, all five of the other competitors throw up their hands, signifying something that draws a thunderous boo.

 

COLE

No, it's can't be...it CAN'T...

 

THE aWo SYMBOL IS BEING THROWN UP BY BLACK T, CABOOSE, SOME GUY, AND CWM!

 

Malibu paces himself, ready to charge...and then Caboose and Some Guy turn around and give Black T and CWM ANOTHER familiar hand gesture, flipping them off before going to town on them, and Zack bursts out of the corner and spears CWM to the canvas before hammering on him as well!

 

COLE

NEVERMIND! The swerve was a swerve!

 

COACH

I'm so lost!

 

COLE

We know, Jonathan.

 

The fans roar at the six man showdown, as Caboose fights off Tony and backs hiim into a corner. Some Guy does the same to Dan, and Malibu also gets CWM set up, leaving the faces to rain pain down on the heels!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

...and all the way up to ten, as The Original Elite are staggered. Black T are then tossed to the outside by Some Guy and Caboose, and Malibu takes CWM and whips him towards his partners, allowing SG and Caboose to press their former ally up in the air and flatten him with a flapjack! CWM comes crashing down, and as he staggers to his feet Some Guy and Caboose exit the ring, allowing Zack to spin his body a full 360 degrees and crack CWM in the jaw with a ROARING ELBOW~!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

CWM kicks out, and Malibu leads him to his feet, trying to drag him to the fan favorite corner so that he can make a tag...but CWM strikes with a low blow, then follows up with an eye rake! Malibu is stunned by the two illegal manuever, which leave him open for CWM to pop up and crush him with a belly to belly suplex!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

CWM scowls, hating that Malibu is still as resilient as ever. He pulls Zack up and takes him by the head, running hiim towards the corner...but Zack puts his foot up to block, then tries to ram CWM's head...NO! CWM puts HIS foot up, then grabs Zack by the head and kicks off the buckles, trying to hit a TORNADO POLLYCUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE...NO! Zack throws him off...AND CONNECTS WITH A SHINING WIZARD!

 

COLE

THE ZACK ATTACK FINDS IT'S MARK!

 

With CWM down and himself wearing thin, Malibu starts to head for his corner slowly, both SG and 'boose waiting on his tag. Malibu crawls and crawls for what seems like miles...AND THIS TIME DAN BLACK COMES IN TO PULL HIM AWAY! Hebner tries to get Dan back, but Malibu takes care of it by rolling onto his back and kicking Dan away...making him elbow Earl in the eye in the process! Zack then shifts his body across the mat enough to reach the hand of Caboose, who slingshots into the ring to a big pop and goes to pull CWM off the mat...THEN GETS PUSHED AWAY BY EARL! HE WAS BLINDED AND MISSED THE TAG!

 

COACH

Damn that sucka Dan Black! Zack had the tag, but Black T managed to turn a negative into a positive! And I'm positive Earl is gonna get his ass BEAT by some fan tonight!

 

If you listen to the crowd, Earl just became the biggest heel in the match...and we're not even in Montreal! Caboose protests, and Some Guy offers some harsh words for the official, and while they're all occupied with each other, Dan pulls Zack up and kicks him in the stomach...BLACKOUT...NO! Zack shoves him away and sends him crashing chest first into the corner...BUT THEN TURNS AROUND INTO A POLLYCUTTER!

 

COLE

NO! GOD DAMN IT NO!

 

CWM drapes himself over Zack, keeping his shoulders down!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

The crowd is exuberant, as Malibu got a shoulder up at the last possible second, kicking out of CWM's famous finisher! CWM gets up, looking like he's about to lose his mind, but Tony and Dan call him over, offering to make the tag before he makes a drastic mistake. The veteran star picks the limp body of Zack Malibu off the canvas and walks it with him, taking it to the corner and tagging in Dan Black, who comes in and takes Malibu from CWM, striking him in the gut with a kneelift and then bringing him down with force via Russian Legsweep! Dan then stomps on Zack's sternum, then drives his boot down into Malibu's throat, choking the lift out of him before bringing him up into a legscissors, and lifting, dropping the Franchise with a hard powerb...NO! Zack lands on his feet in front of Dan, sliding out of his grasp, and follows up with a short lariat...DUCKED! Dan then spins Zack around, hitting a kick to the gut...PITCH BLACK...NO! Malibu backdrops Dan over and falls forward, crawling across the ring as quickly as possible...and springing towards his corner, tagging the hand of SOME GUY!

 

COLE

HE MADE THE TAG!

 

Some Guy vaults into the ring and clocks Dan with a right hand upon entry! Tony charges in, and gets clocked as well. CWM looks to make it a third but SG stands with his fist cocked...and CWM backs out of the ring, not wanting any of SG! Tony rolls to the floor, and Some Guy goes for Dan, who has backed himself in the corner. SG takes him by the head and leads him out, but Dan switches around and shoves Some Guy into the corner, then charges in...and eats boot! Dan turns away, and Some Guy comes and shoots for the waist, hooking Dan...AND SNAPPING HIM OVER WITH A HUGE WHEELBARROW SUPLEX! Some Guy then runs to the TOE corner and nails CWM, knocking him off the apron, then clocking Tony a second time! Some Guy then focuses on Dan Black, getting up from the canvas, and grabs him in a rear waistlock again, only to have it countered, and Dan shoves him towards the corner, but SG runs up the ropes and then dives off, spinning his body so he crashes onto Dan with a flying bodypress!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Dan shoves SG off pretty easily, and both men get to their feet...then lariat each other at the same time! Both men get taken out!

 

COLE

If there was any doubt about Some Guy and Caboose's talent tonight, I think they've put it to rest. This has been on hell of a contest at the biggest event in OAOAST history.

 

Both men force themselves up moments later, and Dan quickly yanks on Some Guys' arm, pulling him down for the HEART OF ICE...but Some Guy rolls through and comes up to his feet...SOMEKICK...BLOCKED...DRAGON SUPLEX BY DAN BLACK!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

COACH

And Zack's team stays in it after another attempt! Mikey, these guys ain't gettin' paid by the hour, are they?

 

COLE

It has been long, it has been brutal, but that's what vengeance and redemption is all about, Coach!

 

Dan pulls Some Guy up and whips him into enemy territory, keeping him blocked in the Elite corner. Dan starts hammering him down, then tags in Tony, and together they work Some Guy over, dragging him forward, kicking him in the stomach, and then rocking hiim with a double suplex! Tony then tags in CWM, who climbs up onto the ropes...and comes off with a flying elbow that finds it's mark, planting itself in the chest of the returning superstar!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Some Guy gets a shoulder up, and AGAIN the Elite cannot believe they didn't manage to seal a victory. CWM then runs the ropes, bouncing off and kicking his legs out, coming down on Some Guy with a big legdrop before covering again!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

Again, the count of two is all that's reached, as Some Guy gets a shoulder up! CWM picks him up, dragging him to his feet...then turns around and attacks Zack and Caboose, hitting Zack with a back elbow and turning around and pie-facing Caboose, trying to draw them into the ring. Zack loses his cool and looks to attack, but Caboose pulls on his arm, keeping him on the apron and not allowing him to give in to CWM's taunt. Some Guy then finds himself whipped into the ropes, and CWM charges him as he rebounds, doubling him over with a kitchen sink shot to the gut! Some Guy sits up on the mat, clutching his stomach, and CWM charges, leaping over him but snapping his head forward!

 

COLE

The old Curt Hennig necksnap, and that is not going to feel good after being dropped with a dragon suplex just minutes ago!

 

COACH

That neck is also a major impact point for the Pollycutter, and Some Guy could find himself in an unfortunate position real quick!

 

CWM takes SG by the leg and drags him to the Elite corner once more, tagging in Tony, who comes into the ring and takes the other leg, and together the two men responsible for starting this company snap the legs off, making a wish! Tony then drops a quick elbow on the stunned Some Guy and then pulls him up, lifting him and holding him vertical for nearly a minute in a taunting show of strength before dropping him with a suplex and rolling his own body on top for a cover!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

AGAIN Some Guy kicks out, and now the Elite are growing angry. Tony pulls him up, clubbing him across the back, then sets him up for a piledriver...but Some Guy just collapses at his feet! Tony snickers, then reaches down...AND FINDS HIMSELF IN A SMALL PACKAGE!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

Tony quickly kicks out and gets to his feet, moving quickly towards Some...CRACK!

 

DESPERATION SOME KICK TO TONY THE BODY!

 

COACH

YO~!

 

COLE

Just like the School's Out, the SomeKick can be hit from anywhere, and Tony The Body Brannigan is DOWN!

 

"MAKE THE TAG!"

 

"MAKE THE TAG!"

 

"MAKE THE TAG!"

 

The encouragement of the capacity crowd is deafening, as they want Some Guy to reach his corner. Slowly he moves towards it, and Zack and Caboose wait on him with open arms and ready hands, each one hoping they're the one tagged in. Some Guy reaches forward, as Tony rolls onto his stomach and wearily tries to push up to his feet...

 

...BUT NOT BEFORE CABOOSE IS TAGGED INTO THE MATCH!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

 

Caboose comes into the ring and quickly takes Tony, running him to the corner and driving his face into the top turnbuckle! He then turns Tony around, trapping him in the corner, and reddens his well defined chest with a series of chops before sending him hard to the far side! Tony reels, staying back up against the corner...and Caboose charges, getting a full head of steam before springing off his feet and crushing Tony with a Stinger Splash! Tony hobbles forward, and Caboose pulls him up over his shoulder...EMERALD FUSION...NO! Dan Black runs in...and catches a big boot, as Caboose gets a leg up and simply dumps Tony over his back! CWM charges in, and Caboose ducks his shot...AND LIFTS HIM FOR AN EMERALD FUSION...NO! HE SLIDES OUT...POLLYCUTTER...NO! END OF THE LINE ON CWM!

 

COLE

Caboose is fighting off all the Elite on his own, and just flattened CWM!

 

Caboose turns around, but is met with a boot to the stomach by Dan Black, who then hits a BLACKOUT on Caboose! The enigmatic superstar goes bouncing backwards, landing facefirst on the canvas, as Black looks proud of himself...

 

...UNTIL HE'S CRACKED WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT THAT SENDS HIM SPILLING OUT TO THE FLOOR!

 

COACH

YO~! TIMES INFINITY!

 

Hebner orders Malibu out of the ring, and it's during this time that Tony crawls onto Caboose, looking for the pin...but Some Guy runs in and pulls Tony up quickly, pulling him onto his shoulders and then flooring him with a SOMEDRIVER! and putting Caboose on top!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TONY KICKS OUT!

 

Caboose slides off Tony's body, both men feeling the effects of battle. It's Caboose who comes up first, slowly coming up to his feet on his own, while Tony has to use the assistance of the ropes. Caboose charges him, but Tony thinks quickly, ducking and pulling down the top rope, sending Caboose spilling out to the floor!

 

COLE

Caboose takes a tumble, and I don't see any end to this match coming anytime soon!

 

COACH

Those folks watching us on pay per view are getting their money's worth fo' sho!

 

After a couple of minutes hurting on the floor, Caboose gets up, much to the joy of the fans...but he's knocked back down by a recovered Dan Black, who had also just picked himself up off the floor, and then struck with a lariat! Black then starts stomping on Caboose and then takes him and rolls him back into the ring, leaving him prone for a Tony attack! Caboose staggers to his feet, then turns around...AND WALKS RIGHT INTO AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

COLE

I have a bad feeling that someone is going to have to die tonight in order for this match to come to a close!

 

COACH

Ooooh, you think it'll be Josh? Then we won't have to hear his annoying girly voice.

 

COLE

I was speaking figuratively, about people IN THE MATCH.

 

COACH

Wait...they have new figures? Damn, the toy companies are on top of the game, playa.

 

COLE

That was the worst comeback in the history of everything you've ever said. Ever.

 

COACH

Yeah, well...YO~!

 

COLE

Yo what?

 

COACH

YO MAMA! SUCKA!

 

COLE

Now I hope I'M the one who dies.

 

Tony gets up and quickly heads for his corner while Caboose is still down, tagging in an anxious CWM, who wants to get his hands on the man who is responsible for ruining the intended demise of Zack Malibu. C-Dub comes in, but as he pulls Caboose up 'boose COMES TO LIFE, hitting him with lefts and rights in rapid fire succession, then sends him to the ropes and strikes with a leaping clothesline that knocks CWM silly! Caboose then waits on him, measuring him up...but then changes his mind and slaps the hand of one of his partners...

 

...AND HERE COMES ZACK!

 

CWM sees him coming and immediately begs off, not wanting anything to do with Zack. Malibu will have none of it, showing no mercy as he stalks his foe, so CWM throws out a right hand...BLOCKED...and now Zack is going to town! Right hands stagger CWM to the ropes, and Zack then whips him to the far side, catching him on the rebound with an inverted atomic drop, then hitting the ropes...YAKUZA KICK~! CWM GOES DOWN!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO! DAN BLACK BREAKS IT UP...AND THEN GETS SPEARED BY SOME GUY!

 

COLE

It's madness!

 

Caboose and Some Guy, as well as Black T all come into the ring, and it's a literal pier six brawl! As those four pair off, Malibu picks CWM up, but he pops up, looking for the Pollycutter...NO! Zack shoves him to the ropes, then tries for SCHOOL'S OUT...NO! CWM catches the foot and spins Zack around...RIGHT INTO HIS OWN SCHOOL'S OUT...NO! Zack spins HIM around...INTO A POLLYCUTTER...NO! CWM slides his head out, and Zack turns around...RIGHT INTO A CWM SCHOOL'S OUT!

 

COACH

YO~! once again!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE...NO!

 

CWM pounds the mat and looks at Hebner, who can't even be bothered to argue because the other men are also still brawling in the ring! CWM pulls Zack up and rams his knee into the side of his head twice, then scoops him up for a slam...but Zack slides out behind him and runs him towards the ropes, rolling him up!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO! CWM kicks him off...RIGHT INTO AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! Tony strikes with his spinebuster...ONLY TO BE HIT WITH EMERALD FUSION! Caboose comes up and shouts down at his fallen foe, then gets spun around...BLACKOUT! Caboose crumbles to the canvas, as Dan comes back up...AND EATS A SOMEKICK! Some Guy then busts out THE DANCE~!, drawing a huge pop for his old school showoff taunt...AND THEN HE GETS BLASTED WITH A POLLYCUTTER!

 

COLE

AMAZING! EVERYONE IS HURTING, EVERYONE IS DOWN...AND WE GOT TO SEE THE DANCE!

 

All six men just lay still, as Earl Hebner surveys the damage. The crowd can only applaud what they just saw, as the six men who have been here since day one are channelling their efforts into one hell of a match.

 

After what must seem like a lifetime to them, all six start to stir, with CWM being the freshest and first one up. Seeing Caboose pushed up onto all fours, he runs over and soccer kicks him, sending Caboose rolling under the bottom rope to the apron. Malibu comes up and CWM charges, swinging his arm out for a lariat...but Malibu busts out the MATRIX DUCK~ for the first time in ages, dodging the bullet, and then spinning CWM around into a POP DROP...NO! SMALL PACKAGE!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

SOME GUY ROLLS THEM OVER SO THAT CWM IS BEING PINNED!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

CWM gets up and stares Some Guy down, and as the two face off, Tony clobbers SG from behind! He drags him over by the ropes and tries to dump him, but Some Guy fires back an elbow, then takes Tony by the head and hurls him over the ropes! Dan Black picks Zack up again, and once again looks to strike with a Blackout, but Zack shoves him forward, causing him to BUTT heads with CWM! Dan rolls to the side of the ring holding his head, as CWM caught himself on the ropes. He then springs forward, right into Zack's arms...and dropped with a ROCK BOTTOM BACKBREAKER~! CWM rolls around on the mat, clutching his back, and now Caboose, Some Guy, and Zack all stand in position, eyeing him...

 

...and Some Guy, Caboose and Zack start warming up the band!

 

COLE

What the...

 

The fans stomp and clap, as the three heroes stomp their feet, watching the grunge superstar drag his carcass back up. He turns to them, and his jaw drops as they all move forward...

 

TRIPLE SCHOOL'S OUT TO CWM! MALIBU COVERS!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

DING DING DING!

 

COACH

YO~! times infinity plus one!!!!!!

 

The crowd roars in approval, as a worn and beaten Zack Malibu rolls off the body of his hated foe, and is helped up by his two equally battle worn partners. "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and the three legends raise their arms, with Hebner raising Zack's for being the one to get the winning pin.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winners....the team of Caboose, Zack Malibu, and Some Guy!

 

Applause fills the arena as the three faces part ways, each one climbing up the ropes and pumping their fists or raising their arms in celebration, showing appreciation to the many fans who saw them through this.

 

COLE

Two men who are back in a big way, and one man who is on a mission to prove himself to the fans once again. I'd say tonight was a success for Caboose, Some Guy and Zack Malibu, and what better atmosphere than the one here at Anglemania!

 

Black T come into the ring and check on CWM, who is out cold after that trifecta of boots that rattled his jaw. All they can do is scowl and sneer as Malibu and his allies exit the ring, turning to face them and raising each other's hands. Dan Black moves to the ropes and says "It's not over...I'm going to break your neck." and points to Malibu, but all Zack can do is offer him a familiar phrase, one that we haven't heard in a while...

 

"Oooooooh I love MYSELF!"

Edited by Tony149

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COLE

Well, here we go. We have finally reached the Main Event of AngleMania IV.

 

CABOOSE

Cole, I have to admit, this has been an amazing night. We got to see Zack, Some Guy, and I finally put The Original Elite and CWM in their place. We saw The 70s Dude rise to superstardom by showing he might be, in fact, tougher than Calvin Szechstein. And we got to see Drek Stone finally show Hoff exactly who the better superstar was. One. Two. Three. In the center of the ring.

 

COACH

Don’t forget Alfdogg!

 

CABOOSE

…right. Who could forget him?

 

COLE

But we still have one more match to see. There is one more question that needs to be answered. Who is the better man after all: Drek Stone or Axel?

 

CABOOSE

This is an obvious question. Drek.

 

COACH

Right, I agree. Axel.

 

COLE

This is a feud that has been brewing over since November. These two superstars met each other for the first time in the Elimination Chamber back at Thanksgiving Star Wars.

 

CABOOSE

And keep in mind: Drek got the pin there too.

 

COACH

Of course, if we look past Ragdoll’s interference.

 

COLE

But the truth is, Drek Stone did get a pinfall against Axel there, en route to winning the Heavyweight Title. However, something happened after that. Drek Stone found himself getting disrespected in his title reign. At Climax in December, he was looking forward to defending his title against Crystal in the Main Event. But suddenly, he found himself having to step aside and wrestle in the midcard so Axel and Ragdoll could have their retirement match.

 

COACH

But that wasn’t all. At AnglePalooza, Drek Stone was ready for his Main Event I-Quit match against AJ Flaire. But then he was shoved aside again. Put in the midcard, so Axel could win the Lethal Rumble in the Main Event.

 

CABOOSE

And there’s more. At Zero Hour, Drek Stone finally got his Main Event slot against Hoff. And who felt the need to interfere there? Who felt the need to yank the spotlight? Axel. Again. The match ended in a disqualification win for Drek Stone, simply because Axel decided to flip out over Crystal’s betrayal.

 

COACH

Well, that’s why Josie has made tonight’s match between Drek Stone and Axel a NO-DISQUALIFICATION match. She’s bound to make sure we leave AngleMania IV with a proper ending.

 

COLE

It’s been established. Axel has been the thorn in Drek Stone’s side the entire time. But Drek has done his best to torture Axel mentally in return. Taunting him over Crystal’s betrayal. Sneak attacks with a steel chair. Sneak attacks with a title belt. Every time Axel turned around, there was Drek Stone waiting for him. These two hate each other. That much is true. And tonight, that hatred is going to come out in full force.

 

CABOOSE

There’s still one thing that worries me though. Drek Stone has put his career on the line here. He has vowed to everyone here that if he can not beat both Hoff and Axel at AngleMania IV, he will willingly retire from this company.

 

COLE

And Josie plans to hold him to that. Drek announced on HeldDown two weeks ago that he was ultimately putting his OAOAST career on the line. If he lost against Axel, it would be a failure of ultimate proportions. And, in his mind, he couldn’t continue to wrestle in this federation with such a failure on his mind. The stakes are high here, folks. Highe than they have ever been.

 

CABOOSE

It doesn’t get any bigger. It’s Drek Stone. It’s Axel. It’s the Heavyweight Title on the line. And it’s the Main Event of AngleMania IV. Here we go!

 

COLE

Let’s get down to the ring!

 

Michael Buffer is seen standing in the center of the ring, proudly holding a microphone in his right hand.

 

AM4-DREKVSAXEL.jpg

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come. This matchup is scheduled for one fall….and it is for the OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

*THE LIGHTS GO OUT!*

 

The crowd pops, knowing what is coming. They can feel the electricity in the building, and the fear that consumes everyone, even though they know that they are in no danger of getting hurt. A drum beat starts up, and one red spotlight appears at the entrance ramp. Suddenly, hooded figures come from behind the entrance ramp, in single file, each carrying flaming staffs. They stop at different parts on the ramp, and place the staffs in holders, before disappearing into the crowd. The drum beat gets louder, and the guitar starts…

 

 

“Can you feel that?!”

 

 

The drums continue.

 

“…shit.”

 

 

The guitars begin again, and the flames on the staffs begin to rise, as if possessed by the music, which builds up, and up…

 

 

“OW-A-A-A-A!”

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

 

Pyro shoots off of the top of the big screen and around the arena, and ‘Down With The Sickness” by Disturbed begins to blare over the loud speakers, eliciting a huge pop from the massive Trump Plaza crowd. The red spotlight continues to shine on the entrance ramp, until a figure appears, doing the crucifix pose. The figure, The Dark Prince, steps out of the shadows and into the red spotlight, focusing on his opponent, the man who he puts his career up against tonight.

 

COLE

Way to make an entrance!

 

Axel begins his decent down the entrance ramp, all the while focusing on the ring. He walks between the staffs, creating a path of fire, until he comes to the bottom two. He points to his left, then his right, before striking the crucifix pose…

 

BOOM! The staffs go out instantly, and the house lights come up!

 

Axel walks to the ring steps, before walking up to the ring apron. Michael Buffer begins to announce his name over the crowd’s cheering.

 

BUFFER

Coming to the ring first is the challenger. Hailing from Tasmania, Australia, he weighs in tonight at two hundred and fifty five pounds. He has gone through a long and winding road to get to this position. Facing enemies, friends, and former lovers alike, perhaps no superstar has gone through as much violence in the past year as this man. His Lethal Rumble win back in January at AnglePalooza opened up the opportunity for him to wrestling here. At AngleMania. For the World Heavyweight Title. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…….AXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-ELLL~!~!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

As Axel stands in the ring, silently pumping his fists together, the camera flashes to the back and catches Drek Stone walking through the hallways with the Heavyweight Title around his waist.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

CABOOSE

Here we go. The champion! The man that’s about to set history by defending his title not once, but twice, at AngleMania.

 

Looking quite intense, Drek quietly rolls his head along his shoulders as he continues to walk through the hallways. Once he gets to the Gorilla Position, he turns and stares into the camera. He doesn’t even bother to grin. He just has an important message for everyone out there.

 

DREK

You all haven’t seen anything yet.

 

With the camera last catching Drek Stone flexing his shoulders, the view then switches back to the arena as our Heavyweight Champion’s theme music starts to play over the loudspeakers.

 

Woke Up This Morning

Got Yourself A Gun

Mama Always Said You’d Be

The Chosen One

 

The fans rise up with a WICKED series of boos as Drek Stone slowly steps out through the black curtains into the aisleway. Yet, instead of walking, Drek just puts his hands on his hips and stares out at the crowd who quite clearly want to see Axel just tear this man apart.

 

BUFFER

And here comes the Champion. Hailing from Brooklyn, New York, he weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty-five pounds. At AngleMania III last year, not a single fan knew of this man yet. Yet, throughout April 2004 and April 2005, he managed to win the Italian Championship. Win the Heavyweight Title. And defeat nearly every superstar that has dared to step in his way. And tonight, in front of a worldwide audience, he looks to do it one more time. He has even put his career on the line to prove he would be victorious tonight. Now, only time can tell. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRRRRRRLD……DRRRRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEE~!~!

 

She said: You're one in a million

You've got to burn to shine,

But you were born under a bad sign,

With a blue moon in your eyes.

 

Drek then starts walking down to the ring with an intensely focused expression on his face. He’s staring at Axel. And Axel is staring right back at him.

 

You woke up this morning

All the love has gone,

Your Papa never told you

About right and wrong.

 

Keeping his focus on the #1 Contender, Drek then climbs up the ring stairs and steps through the ropes into the ring. He immediately walks over to the nearest turnbuckle and climbs to the middle rope, saluting his fans that clearly want nothing to do with him.

 

But you're looking good, baby,

I believe you're feeling fine, (shame about it),

Born under a bad sign

With a blue moon in your eyes.

 

Finally, once he gets off the turnbuckles, Drek moves to the center of the ring. With the title still glittering around his waist, Drek slaps his chest hard, which gives way to an impressive series of red, white, and green fireworks rising from the four corners of the ring.

 

You woke up this morning

The world turned upside down,

Thing's ain't been the same

Since the Blues walked into town.

 

Drek Stone then slowly unclasps the Heavyweight Title from around his waist, looks at it calmly -- perhaps for the last time -- and hands it off to the referee.

 

But you're one in a million

You've got that shotgun shine.

Born under a bad sign,

With a blue moon in your eyes.

 

The music starts to fade away as Drek finally moves to his corner and flexes his shoulders again. And with that….

 

*ding ding ding*

 

The bell rings and the Main Event of AngleMania IV has begun!

 

The fans buzz as Drek Stone and Axel stare at each other silently from across the ring. Neither man is willing to make the first move -- not yet. Right now, they’re just content with glaring at one another. Hoping to see a crack in the other man’s stone face.

 

COACH

It just does not get more intense than this one, folks.

 

COLE

Neither man is willing to blink. Neither man even wants to breathe.

 

Finally, the Heavyweight Champion actually makes the first move. He steps forward slowly, earning a rather loud negative reaction from the fans. Axel, not wanting to look intimidated by Drek getting closer to him, then takes his first step. The two men are now somewhat closer to one another -- but still worlds away.

 

CABOOSE

This is what it’s all about. Both of these guys know that the first move in this match could actually be the most valuable one. And they will not make that first move until they are absolutely sure it’s the right one.

 

With the buzz continuing to rise from the capacity crowd in Trump Plaza, Drek then takes another step closer to his opponent. Axel immediately does the same. Drek, without much pause, responds to that by moving another footstep towards the center. Axel follows. The two superstars then walk at a slightly quicker pace until they are engaged in a tight staredown in the center of the ring. Until they are engaged in a tight staredown on the biggest stage of them all.

 

COLE

Who is going to blink here?!

 

The Heavyweight Champion and his challenger are now standing nose-to-nose with one another. Drek does have to look up in order to properly lock eyes with the Dark One, but that does not come close to taking away the intensity shared between these two men. Flashbulbs continue to shower the superstars in a sea of light as they keep their expressionless faces focused.

 

Until Drek breaks up the staredown with a hard slap across Axel’s face!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

COACH

Oh SNAP, CRACKLE, and POP~!

 

CABOOSE

What did I tell you? The first move could be the most important one! And with that first move, Drek just showed Axel that he is simply not afraid.

 

Axel recoils back slightly from the slap, almost unbelieving that Drek would have the gall to do such a thing. He doesn’t have long to think about it though as the Champ follows through with a nasty right hand across Axel’s jaw. And another. And another! The #1 Contender is reeling as Drek continues to paste him with punches on the cheek and jaw. Drek then grabs Axel’s arm and tries to irish-whip him into the ropes. But it’s reversed.

 

CABOOSE

Uh oh.

 

Drek bounces back off the ropes, but sees Axel waiting for him with a clothesline. He manages to duck right under that one and bounce off the opposite side of the ropes. As he dashes back to his opponent, he takes a window of opportunity to bewilder Axel and slide underneath his legs. Drek stands up immediately after with a contented smile on his face and turns around to greet Axel. Instead, he finds the Dark One spinning around quickly, lifting Drek up -- AND SPIKING HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A SPINEBUSTER!!

 

COACH

Spinebustah~!

 

COLE

Axel’s going for the early cover!

 

Sure enough, Axel hooks Drek’s leg as the fans excitedly count along with him.

 

 

ONNNNNNEEEEEEE~!

 

 

TWWWWWOOOOOO~!

 

 

KICKOUT~!

 

 

The fans groan slightly as Drek kicks out of the pinfall attempt and rolls to the outside of the ring. To be fair, nobody thought that spinebuster was going to put Drek away. Not even Axel himself. But the intimidation factor here remains thriving and in full-force.

 

COLE

Drek Stone can not afford to make costly mistakes like that in this match. He’s already taken a lot of punishment from Hoff at the beginning of the night. His body can not survive too many more spinebusters.

 

CABOOSE

It was a lapse of judgment on the part of the Champ. Fine. But Cole, this man hardly ever makes a mistake! He’s luring Axel in. I’m sure of it.

 

Standing outside the ring, Drek tries taking a few shallow breaths to get his wits back. His relaxation is short-lived though as he spots Axel rolling out of the ring to continue fighting. Stone immediately sprints away and around the corner of the ring, as Axel does his best to chase him and remain in hot pursuit. As Axel gets closer to turning the corner, Drek suddenly kicks the steel steps, sending them right into the #1 Contender’s knees.

 

*BOOM*

 

Axel immediately topples over the steel stairs and winds up falling to the floor.

 

CABOOSE

There we go. What did I tell you? He knew how to lure Axel into a trap there. And focusing on the knees that Crystal just weakened earlier? Pure brilliance.

 

The Dark One tries getting back up as quickly as possible, but it’s easy to see that his knee isn’t quite supporting him. Drek, wanting to take advantage of the stunned Axel, turns back past the corner and fires a hard right hand across Axel’s chin. And another one. Axel steps back for a second, but then comes surging back with his own right hand. A hard punch on Drek’s forehead almost sends the Heavyweight Champion straight down to the floor. Using his height advantage to his benefit, Axel fires another shot into Drek’s forehead, buckling the Champ’s knees with the impact. But Drek makes sure to come back with another punch across Axel’s chin. Axel recoils for a second but comes back with one of his patented European uppercuts, slamming right beneath the jaw of the champion. Drek falls to the floor, but isn’t looking forward to staying there too long. He immediately rolls back up to his feet, but Axel is there waiting. He grabs a solid handful of Stone’s hair and immediately goes running forward towards the turnbuckle post. However, once they get close enough, Drek suddenly reverses the momentum, instead managing to chuck Axel face-first into the post, sending him hurtling onto the arena floor.

 

COACH

Oh!

 

COLE

The strategy of both these superstars has already become clear. Axel is going to use his height, weight, and overall strength advantages as much as he can. But Drek has speed. And Drek, arguably, has a better technical expertise as well. He’s just going to do his best to outsmart Axel.

 

CABOOSE

What an intelligent remark, Cole. I’m quite impressed.

 

COACH

That intelligence stuff is overrated, in my opinion.

 

On the floor, Axel is lightly rubbing his head, trying to get the cobwebs out quickly. Meanwhile, Drek is using this time to grab a free drink. He snatches a water bottle away from a rather ugly fan sitting ringside. With the fan screaming for the champion to give him back his drink, Drek takes a large swig of the bottle, simply ignoring him.

 

CABOOSE

Oh, man. Make sure that’s Evian, Drek! Only the finest for this champion.

 

Instead of swallowing the water though, Drek keeps it in his mouth, choosing to swish it around instead. At this point, Axel is moving up to his knees, ready to stand. Seeing that Axel is close to getting back to his feet, the Heavyweight Champion steps in front of the Dark One. He then waits until his opponent is completely standing -- and once he’s up, Drek spits a mist of water into Axel’s face.

 

COLE

Oh, that’s disgusting!

 

CABOOSE

That’s great. Like I keep telling you Cole, it’s the intimidation factor all over again. Drek is not afraid!

 

The crowd, quite outraged that Drek would dare do such a thing, starts a chant that is soon booming throughout Trump Plaza.

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

Meanwhile, Axel slowly wipes the water droplets away from his eyes, his hand shaking slightly from anger as he does it. Drek moves his right arm back, looking ready to punch the #1 Contender once again, but Axel suddenly charges forward with a NASTY tackle! The momentum of it actually sends both men into the ring barricade, OVER the barricade, and into the crowd!

 

COACH

Drek Stone should have never done that. The last thing you want to do when you’re taking on Axel is make him angry!

 

The fans let out a huge cheer as both men topple into the stands, Axel landing on top of Drek Stone. The #1 Contender gets up first with a sneer on his face, then makes sure to plant a well-placed boot across the forehead of the champion. He grabs a firm hold of Drek’s hair and forces him back up to his feet. Drek tries battling Axel to get away from what’s coming, but the Dark One isn’t having any of that. Instead, he picks Drek up for an atomic drop -- and drops him groin-first onto the steel barricade!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

Drek clearly grimaces at this predicament as the pain slowly wells up in his testicles until it’s wrecking his whole body.

 

CABOOSE

Axel should be disqualified at this very moment!

 

COLE

Despite the fact that….you know….Josie has already turned off disqualifications for this match.

 

CABOOSE

As if I care!

 

With Drek still straddled on the steel barricade, Axel grabs a different water bottle from a nearby fan. However, this fan is all too happy to lend their bottle to the Dark One. Axel yanks Drek’s head back and pours a decent amount of water into the Champion’s mouth. With Drek’s cheeks puffy from the liquid, Axel steps back and clotheslines Stone off the barricade and back to the arena floor! The impact of the lariat sends a mist of water spraying all over the protective mats, followed by Drek’s uncontrollable coughing. The crowd is clearly loving Axel’s mean streak here.

 

“AX-EL!”

 

“AX-EL!”

 

“AX-EL!”

 

COLE

The intensity here is just unbelievable. These men haven’t taken a break since the bell rang!

 

With Drek now trying to take deep breaths, Axel steps over the barricade and back onto the floor. He pries Drek up by his head and rolls him back into the ring. As Axel climbs back onto the ring apron to step through the ropes, Drek catches a glimpse of his opponent looming over him. He immediately rolls out the opposite side of the ring to escape the upcoming attack. Axel, with an angry sigh, steps into the ring and walks to the other side near the champion. Once Axel gets close enough, Drek suddenly punches the middle rope, which hits Axel in the balls accordingly. The #1 Contender falls to his knees in pain, which gives Drek the chance to scurry up the ring apron and scale the turnbuckle.

 

CABOOSE

Drek Stone is just so unbelievably smart when it comes to using that ring to his advantage. Not any man could have fired a well-placed shot like that.

 

As Axel starts to slowly get back to his feet, Drek jumps off the top rope with an axehandle -- but gets caught in mid-air by Axel!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no!

 

COACH

Could we be seeing another spinebuster here?

 

A huge roar rises up from the crowd as Axel holds Drek up in a prime Spinebuster position. However, Axel chooses to simply place Drek back onto his feet instead. A slight chorus of boos start to rise up as Drek stands up straight -- until Axel gives him a HARD slap across the face.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

 

COACH

WHOA!

 

CABOOSE

Oh my God. You can not GET more disrespectful than that!

 

COLE

Look at that as Axel returning the favor for Drek slapping him at the beginning of the match.

 

CABOOSE

Oh, he’s going to pay for that. I guarantee he’ll pay for it.

 

COACH

Boose, you’ve been talking about the intimidation factor here? About Drek wanting to prove that he’s not intimidated by Axel? Well, I think Axel just showed he’s not intimidated by Drek either!

 

After the slap, Drek stares at his opponent with widened eyes, almost as if he doesn’t believe Axel would dare have the audacity to humiliate him like that. He comes bounding back by planting a hard right hand across Axel’s cheek. And another one! And another one! Axel starts reeling as Drek continues with the offensive assault. But suddenly, Axel clamps a hand across the throat of Drek Stone to a HUGE reaction!

 

COACH

Here we go!

 

CABOOSE

Come on, Drek! Fight out of this. You have before!

 

Axel holds Drek in the prime set-up position for a monster chokeslam -- at least, he did, until the Champion hit Axel with a hard kick to the right knee, forcing Axel to howl and release the hold. Drek steps back and shoots another kick across Axel’s knee. With Axel doubled over, Drek then runs and bounces off the ropes. On his way back, he hits Axel with a basement dropkick to the knee. The Dark One hits the mat but rolls to the outside to try to rehab his knee quickly.

 

CABOOSE

Once again, Drek knows that Axel’s knee is already weakened. And he takes advantage of that at the best opportunities.

 

COLE

This has certainly been a back-and-forth contest thus far. Both men know their strengths and their weaknesses, and they are using them accordingly.

 

As Axel hobbles around on the arena floor, Drek starts to slowly scale the turnbuckles until he gets to the top. The fans start buzzing once more as Drek stands up high on the top turnbuckle, waiting for his opponent to turn his attention to him. Once Axel does so, Drek SOARS off the top rope -- hitting Axel with a BEAUTIFUL cross body block to the outside of the ring. The fans actually pop for the aerial move as both men sink down to the arena floor.

 

CABOOSE

Amazing. Drek Stone is leaving everything in Trump Plaza tonight.

 

COLE

Very rarely do you see Drek Stone take such huge risks. But he knows he has Axel beat when it comes to aerial expertise, so it’s a risk he basically has to take.

 

CABOOSE

That’s right. Axel doing one frog splash a year doesn’t count!

 

Almost immediately after that move, Drek pushes himself off Axel’s chest to get back to his feet. With a wide grin, he takes his opportunity to listen to some of the intelligent comments coming from the ringside fans.

 

FAN

YOU SUX0rZ, DREK~!

 

Well, maybe they aren’t so intelligent after all. Either way, Drek grabs Axel by the neck and forces him back up to his feet. Axel, clearly dazed, staggers once he gets back up. Drek then grabs Axel by the back of his head and charges forward -- throwing him RIGHT INTO THE RINGSIDE ANNOUNCING TABLE! Axel goes sailing over the table and into Triple C, knocking them down as if they were bowling pins.

 

COACH

WHOA~!

 

COLE

OH MY….

 

As Axel rolls around this announcing carnage, Drek proudly slaps his chest, saluting the fans who just want to know if Axel’s okay. As the Dark One does his best to clear himself away from this mess of wires and television monitors, Drek glances at Caboose.

 

DREK

Caboose, let me ask you a favor.

 

With a wide grin, Caboose talks back to the Champion.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, man, no problem. What is it?

 

DREK

Let me borrow your chair. It will only take a second.

 

CABOOSE

Oh definitely. What’s mine is yours.

 

DREK

Thanks. You always were the best announcer here.

 

Drek folds the chair up and holds it in his grasp as Axel slaps his hand down on the table and tries to bring himself back up to his feet. Once he finally manages to get somewhat close to a standing position, Drek swings the chair and --

 

*CLANG!!*

 

-- hits Axel across the face with the steel chair!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

The force of the chairshot sends Axel toppling back over the announcing table and into Triple C once again!

 

COACH

Oh my God! Axel’s head is on my lap!

 

COLE

Kinky~!

 

As Axel lays along this technological fiasco, the crowd does its best to will the #1 Contender back up. With a chant that has become familiar to him now.

 

“AX-EL!”

 

“AX-EL!”

 

“AX-EL!”

 

“AX-EL!”

 

Hearing the fans trying to desparately will the Dark One back to his feet, Drek grins slightly at their vain attempts. He walks behind the table and tries yanking Axel up once more by his hair. As he gets him to stand, the camera gets a good glimpse of Axel. A horribly bloody Axel.

 

COLE

Ugh! That chairshot has busted him open badly!

 

CABOOSE

It was my chair that did it. I feel so honored.

 

Axel groans slightly as the blood starts dripping off his forehead and all over his black boots. With Axel in terrible shape, he’s easy for Drek to simply roll into the ring. The Champion then follows him immediately.

 

COACH

Oh man, he really is bleeding badly from that chairshot.

 

CABOOSE

Oh well. Real shame it is. And by that, I mean, not a shame at all.

 

COACH

NICE~!

 

With Axel down on the mat, Drek rolls him over onto his back and hooks the leg.

 

 

ONNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

 

TWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!!

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

 

The fans respond with a loud cheer as Axel manages to kick out after two. Drek, with a scowl, pushes himself back up to a standing position. He then steps out to the outside and walks back to the announcing table.

 

DREK

Coach, I’m taking your chair.

 

COACH

You didn’t say…..OW~!

 

Coach doesn’t have time to finish his statement as Drek shoves him off his chair, folds it up, and carries it back into the ring with him

 

CABOOSE

See? At least he asked me for my chair.

 

At this point, Axel is now on his hands and knees, trying to get himself back up quickly. But Drek isn’t about to let it happen that easily. With Axel’s back completely exposed, Drek lifts the chair up and….

 

*CRACK*

 

….SMACKS Axel across the back with the steel chair. Axel falls back down flat to the mat, tremoring slightly from the impact. The Champion tosses the chair off into the corner, but then focuses his attention back onto The Dark One. He grabs a nice, big handful of Axel’s hair -- and simply wipes his bloody forehead into the mat.

 

COACH

This is getting a little disturbing now. It’s almost like Drek is having fun with Axel’s blood.

 

CABOOSE

Of course. It’s like he’s painting a Picasso! Except the face here is a little more disfigured.

 

With that part of the mat now stained with a deep crimson red, Drek turns Axel over onto his back and immediately sits on his chest. With Axel relatively helpless, Drek lifts his arm up and hits Axel with a nasty blow to his open wound! Axel grimaces noticeably as Drek lifts his arm up again and hits Axel with another huge right hand to the gash on his forehead. With a grin, Drek lowers his face until his eyes are locked with Axel’s.

 

DREK

Axel, you can’t beat me! You could never beat me! Not on your best day!

 

With that comment, Drek gives Axel a vicious slap across the face!

 

CABOOSE

There we go. Payback!

 

COACH

By my count, Drek is now up two-to-one on face slaps.

 

CABOOSE

As he should be. As he should.

 

Unfortunately -- or maybe fortunately for all you Drek Stone fans -- Axel looks helpless to even help prevent another offensive onslaught at this time. Drek, quite clearly loving seeing Axel so ineffective, walks slowly towards the corner and picks the steel chair back up. With a rather sadistic smile, Drek walks back to Axel with the chair in hand. But he doesn’t simply hit Axel with it. Oh, no. He has other intentions in his mind. Instead, he chooses to unfold the chair slightly and wrap it around Axel’s knee.

 

COACH

What the hell?! Is he insane?!

 

The fans boo loudly as Axel lays motionless on the mat, with the chair cleverly positioned around his knee. Drek then moves over to the turnbuckle and starts to dramatically scale the top rope.

 

COACH

He’ll shatter Axel’s knee if he’s about to do what I think he’s planning.

 

CABOOSE

Coach, this is about the Heavyweight Title! This is about the RICHEST prize in our industry! You don’t step into that ring unless you’re ready to accept the fact that you could get seriously injured! Axel accepted that fact. And now he needs to face the consequences!

 

Once Drek gets to the top, the fans start screaming for Axel to get out of the way. But to their surprise, he does more than just that. He takes the chair off his knee, hops back up to his knee, and hurls the weapon at the Champion -- with the steel chair clanging right off Drek Stone’s head!

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

COLE

How’s that for a strategy? Axel was playing possum!

 

CABOOSE

What a cheater. What a no-good cheater!

 

The force of the chairshot causes Drek to lose his balance, which winds up straddling him on the top turnbuckle. With Drek now powerless to do anything for the time being, Axel hobbles over to the Champion and quickly wraps a POWERFUL hand around the throat of Drek Stone!

 

COLE

Wait, what is Axel getting ready to do here?

 

Tightening his fingers ever so slightly around Drek’s throat, Axel pulls Drek off the top turnbuckle until the champ is now standing on the apron. The fans start buzzing as Axel continues to keep his hand wrapped around Drek’s throat. After a few moments to allow this situation to sink into everyone’s heads, Axel then lifts Drek Stone up with ONE ARM --

 

-- AND CHOKESLAMS HIM OFF THE RING APRON ONTO THE ARENA FLOOR!!

 

CABOOSE

NO!!

 

COLE

OH MY GOD!!

 

The fans break out into a RABID cheer as Drek lands flat on his back, with nothing there to cushion his fall.

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

CABOOSE

Oh my god, that’s awful! Somebody needs to help Drek!

 

COLE

What a chokeslam. And Drek hit that floor with such an impact too. I’ll be shocked if he didn’t break a bone there.

 

Obviously, Axel wants to capitalize on his chance here, but his legs don’t seem like they’re going to allow it, as his right knee buckles out from underneath him. Focused more on rehabbing his knee at this point, Axel sits on the mat and rubs his leg, trying to get some feeling back into it. Meanwhile, Drek is getting counted out on the arena floor.

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“THREE!”

 

COACH

Hmm. Imagine if this match ended via countout….

 

CABOOSE

It would serve Josie right for forcing Drek into a No-DQ match all for the sake of “getting a winner”

 

“FOUR!”

 

“FIVE!”

 

“SIX!”

 

Drek starts to lift himself off the arena floor, clearly dizzy and not exactly sure where he is. Yet, he continues to rise.

 

“SEVEN!”

 

CABOOSE

You see that? You see how Drek is standing?! The heart of a champion!

 

“EIGHT!”

 

In the ring, Axel starts to rise now, the blood continuing to drip down his face, leaving puddles on the mat.

 

COACH

And to me, Axel right there….HE has the true heart of a champion.

 

“NINE!”

 

At the nine count, Drek uses his last burst of energy to pull himself up onto the apron. Taking deep breaths, Drek pulls at the top rope until he manages to get onto his feet. Once he’s up in a standing position on the apron, Axel charges forward and hits him with a hard right hand! The impact of it sends Drek spinning, sailing off the apron and hitting the announcing table face-first!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

CABOOSE

NO!!

 

COLE

Look at this. Axel is just looking to bang Drek Stone around now.

 

CABOOSE

That was a last ditch effort, Cole. There was no strategy involved with that!

 

Drek falls down to the floor holding his jaw as Axel rolls outside the ring to continue the assault. With Drek still trying to massage his face, Axel grabs a handful of hair and forces him back up to his feet. The Dark One then hooks Drek up and gives him a SNAP SUPLEX onto the arena floor! The Heavyweight Champion lets out a loud scream, as Axel sits up with a grin now on his face.

 

CABOOSE

Don’t you think it’s time we take this one back into the ring?

 

COACH

Why? Axel’s just starting to have fun.

 

Axel gets up slowly, looking out at all the fans that are, once again, wildly chanting his name.

 

“AX-EL!”

 

“AX-EL!”

 

“AX-EL!”

 

Meanwhile, Drek manages to start pushing himself up once again. Taking deep breaths along the way, sure, but he’s still managing to do it. However, he’s only able to get onto one leg before Axel is waiting for him again. The Dark One wraps his arms around Drek’s midsection from behind -- and takes him down to the arena floor with a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!

 

“YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

Drek Stone’s head bounces off the concrete right after the german suplex, which earns a slight groan from the ringside fans.

 

COLE

Keep in mind, folks! Drek Stone isn’t bouncing his head off a mat. This is concrete right here!

 

As Drek lays still on the arena floor, Axel sidesteps to the nearby timekeeper’s table. With almost a loving expression, he gingerly lifts the Heavyweight Title off the table and stares at his reflection in the gold plating.

 

CABOOSE

Oh, keep dreaming.

 

As Drek starts to roll over onto his side, Axel holds the title in prime position to get ready to swing it at his Italian opponent. The fans cheer, knowing what Axel’s full intentions are. However, as Drek continues to rise up inch by inch, Axel suddenly looks at the title again. Looking somewhat conflicted, Axel glances at the Champion and then at the belt once more. Finally, with a slight shake of his head, he places the title back onto the announcing table. He instead decides to limp over to the steel steps instead.

 

COLE

If I didn’t know any better, I would say Axel actually had too much respect to the belt to even use it as a weapon here.

 

CABOOSE

Well, where I come from, that makes him a sucker.

 

Summoning every ounce of strength he has, Axel stands before the steel steps and lifts the top level, struggling mightily to muscle it over his head. The fans show their appreciation for this feat of strength with their clapping, but as good as that support feels, it’s not exactly taking away any of the weight on Axel’s shoulders. He limps slowly towards Drek, the steel steps still over his head. However, once he gets close enough, Drek suddenly stumbles forward with a kick to the #1 Contender’s stomach. The force of the kick, coupled with the weight of the stairs on Axel’s shoulders, sends him toppling down to the floor with the steel steps falling on top of him. Drek then runs forward and jumps on the steps, further driving them into Axel’s chest.

 

COACH

What a nasty fall from Axel. Those steel steps fell right on top of him!

 

COLE

And last I checked, those steps weighed 10,000 pounds!

 

COACH

Yep.

 

CABOOSE

Once again, Drek’s intelligence manages to overcome Axel’s sheer strength.

 

With a wary smile, Drek slides into the ring, leaving Axel outside with the crushing weight of the steps on his chest. The referee has no choice but to begin counting Axel out.

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“THREE!”

 

“FOUR!”

 

With a primal yell, Axel shoves the steel steps off his chest and sits up.

 

“FIVE!”

 

“SIX!”

 

Drek, unbelieving that Axel continues to get up, screams at the referee to count faster.

 

“SEVEN!”

 

“EIGHT!”

 

With eight, Axel starts using the ring ropes to pull himself to the apron. Drek, his rage rising with each passing second, charges forward to send Axel back out with a baseball slide. However, Axel was ready and expecting it. As Drek gets closer, the Dark One shifts to the side, letting Drek slide out to his feet on the floor. Axel then quickly yanks him by his hair and brings him down to the floor with a Russian leg sweep!

 

COACH

Oh Boose, would you look at that? Axel might have finally outsmarted Drek Stone!

 

CABOOSE

Nope. Pure luck.

 

COLE

You hate giving Axel any credit, huh?

 

With Drek out on the arena floor, Axel pries him up and simply throws him underneath the bottom rope and back into the ring. Drek tries stumbling forward immediately, but Axel gives him a hard shove into the corner. The Champion tries making his way out of the predicament, but Axel is ready. He steps back and…..

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

….unleashes a vicious chop across the bare chest of Drek Stone. He steps back and….

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

….gives him another nasty chop. Drek recoils after the blow, but Axel isn’t finished yet. He grabs Stone by his arm and gives him a HARD irish-whip into the opposite corner. Drek hits that turnbuckle chest-first, falls to the mat, and rolls backward until he winds up settling on his chest.

 

COLE

What impact!

 

COACH

These two men really are just tearing each other apart. Both of them have been through so much damage in this epic matchup.

 

COLE

And the scary thing is that it doesn’t look like it’s ready to end yet.

 

Following that irish whip, Drek looks to be almost nearly out cold on the mat. That’s not enough for Axel though. He’s not yet done torturing the man that took so much pleasure in his mental anguish the past month. Grabbing a solid hold of Drek’s head, he forces him back up to his feet, but immediately sets him up in a reverse suplex position. After taking a few moments to gather some strength, Axel then lifts Drek up -- but on the way up, he drops Drek’s back onto the top rope to slingshot him even further up! Drek goes OVER Axel’s head…..but lands on his feet behind the big man! He then pushes Axel into the ropes and rolls back with a victory roll! He has Axel trapped in a pinning attempt!

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

 

The crowd lets out a collective sigh as Axel was JUST able to escape out of the victory roll. Both men spring back up to their feet after the pin. Drek runs and bounces off the ropes towards Axel, but suddenly finds himself scooped up in a burning hammer position!

 

“YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

CABOOSE

Oh, no! NO!!!

 

COLE

COULD IT BE?! Could we be seeing the Axel Slam?!

 

The fans go absolutely ballistic as Drek Stone struggles to get out of the hold, but Axel keeps his grip tight. With nowhere for the Champion to go, Axel lifts him up --

 

-- AND DROPS HIM TO THE MAT WITH THE AXEL SLAM!!

 

COACH

This is it! It’s over!

 

Axel quickly turns Drek Stone over and hooks the leg. The New Jersey crowd goes completely crazy counting along with the referee!

 

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

 

 

TWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh my God! Yes! Kickout!

 

COLE

We were only one second away from seeing Drek Stone lose that Heavyweight Title.

 

COACH

And his career!

 

CABOOSE

Shut up! The both of you!

 

Axel rolls off Drek’s body with his eyes widened, unable to comprehend that the Heavyweight Champion was able to kick out of his patented move.

 

CABOOSE

Consider it all. Consider the hell Hoff put Drek through before. Consider the hell Axel has put Drek through in this match. And then CONSIDER the fact that Drek Stone has just SUCCESSFULLY kicked out of the Axel Slam. There is NOTHING he can’t do!

 

Frustrated, Axel pulls at his hair for a second, but then does his best to stagger up to his feet. Slowly wiping the dried blood out of his eyes, he moves over to a nearby corner to take a breather. Meanwhile, Drek is actually starting to stir on the mat. Using the middle rope to pull himself up, after a few moments of intense struggling, Drek finally manages to get to a standing position. Axel, warily, walks over to the Champion -- but gets a SUDDEN superkick to the jaw for his efforts from Drek Stone!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!“

 

Axel collapses right down to the mat near the corner, and Drek immediately rolls to the outside, completely spent.

 

CABOOSE

Nice. That super kick came out of nowhere!

 

COLE

A last ditch effort from Drek Stone to keep Axel away. And luckily for him, it worked.

 

As Axel lays in the ring holding his forehead, Drek dizzily grabs the #1 Contender’s legs from outside the ring and pulls them towards the turnbuckle post. Axel weakly tries to kick the champ away, but he doesn’t have nearly enough strength to do so. Once Axel gets his legs around the corner post, Drek grabs his right leg and CRANKS it around the turnbuckle post! Axel lets out a loud scream, but Drek grabs his leg and, once again, BANGS it against the turnbuckle post. Before Axel has a chance to yell again, Drek wraps his body around the right leg, puts the left leg over it, jumps up, and --

 

-- FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK AROUND THE RINGPOST!

 

CABOOSE

Yes! We haven’t seen this one in ages!

 

Axel starts screaming loudly and grabbing the ring ropes, desparately looking for something to alleviate the pain. But there’s nothing for him to find as Drek continues to tighten his legs, only adding more pressure to the already weakened knee of Axel. After relishing the screams for Axel for a few seconds, Drek finally releases the hold and moves back to his feet.

 

COLE

Once again, Axel’s knee is taking some serious damage.

 

Drek, taking deep breaths, emphatically wipes the sweat off his forehead before stepping back into the ring. Seeing Axel raise his head slightly, Drek simply boots him in the face with a harsh kick to the side of the head. The Dark One immediately falls back to the mat. Drek then grabs his opponent by both his arm and his leg and drags him into prime position right near the corner. With Axel out cold, Drek slaps his chest arrogantly again, earning a chorus of boos from the sold-out crowd.

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

As they continue their creative chant, Drek scales the turnbuckle until he gets to the top rope. Once he gets to the top, he takes a deep breath and slowly wipes the sweat out of his hair again. He cocks his head to look at Axel for a second, but then stands up straight once more. And he jumps off the top turnbuckle --

 

-- WITH A SOMERSAULT LEGDROP --

 

-- DRIVING A LEG RIGHT ACROSS THE THROAT OF AXEL~!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

The crowd responds with a shocked gasp as Drek holds his tailbone following the move.

 

COACH

Whoa! When have we seen Drek Stone pull that move out?!

 

CABOOSE

Not in months! This is about going balls-to-the-wall! Amazing! Make the cover, Drek! DO IT!

 

Hardly wasting a second, Drek jumps onto Axel’s body and hooks the leg. The referee makes the count as the fans sit in stunned silence.

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

 

TWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

 

SHOULDER UP!

 

 

Drek slaps his head angrily as Axel just manages to get a shoulder up. He immediately places his hand around Axel’s throat and starts choking the man for dear life.

 

CABOOSE

Okay, Drek, don’t blow it here. Don’t lose your cool.

 

After a few seconds of choking, Drek yanks Axel by his arm and sits him up in a corner. With the Dark One incapacitated, Drek just keeps Axel’s head resting on the bottom turnbuckle. He then takes the side of his boot and brushes it against the #1 Contender’s face.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

COLE

Once again, Drek Stone is simply disrespecting Axel.

 

CABOOSE

Well, it’s not like Axel can do anything about it.

 

Taking the side of his boot again, Drek scrapes it against Axel’s forehead, possibly further opening the gash on the man’s forehead. With his foot, he then starts choking the #1 Contender for dear life.

 

COACH

I think Axel is finished here.

 

CABOOSE

You’re damn right. For the benefit of all of us, Drek Stone has finally put the monster away!

 

As Axel tries in vain to take at least one shallow breath, Drek continues to apply the pressure with his foot choke. But suddenly, Axel grabs a solid hold of Drek’s ankle. He wraps both his hands around Drek’s foot and starts pushing his way up! Drek tries to push Axel down with his weight, but the Dark One is coming back strong! He continues to shove his way up until he’s finally back to his feet, holding Drek’s foot. With a scream, he then rushes forward and gives a hard push to Stone’s foot, sending him right down to the mat. The momentum of it sends Drek falling back to the mat but rolling right back to his feet. This gives Axel the opportunity to charge forward and hit Drek across the face with a HUUUUUGE Big Boot~!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

COACH

Axel is not going to take Drek’s disrespecting methods lightly. And I think, for the umpteenth time here, the momentum of the match has just changed.

 

With Drek down but using the ropes to make his way up, Axel slices a thumb across his throat.

 

COLE

This could be the end!

 

CABOOSE

This ain’t the end of ANYTHING! Not the end of Drek’s title reign! Not the end of his career! Shut your mouth, Cole.

 

Once Drek gets to a standing position, he spins around dizzily, right into Axel’s waiting arms. Once again, Axel picks him up into a burning hammer position.

 

CABOOSE

Come on! DREK, DON’T ALLOW THIS!

 

Drek Stone tries struggling his way out of it but, like before, Axel’s grip is way too tight. With a loud yell, Axel stomps around the ring for a second, further raising the buzz in the arena. He then lifts Axel up over his head for the Diamond Cutter -- BUT DREK GRABS AXEL’S HEAD ON THE WAY DOWN!

 

AND HE SPIKES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE STONECUTTER!!

 

CABOOSE

YES! YES!

 

COLE

STONECUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE! MY GOD!

 

CABOOSE

DREK, DO IT! MAKE THE COVER! DO IT!

 

With Axel out cold, Drek takes a second to hold his ribs and take a few breaths. He then uses his shoulder to push Axel over -- and drapes an arm over his chest!

 

CABOOSE

PLEASE LET THIS BE IT!

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!

 

 

TWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

 

THRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE~!

 

 

NO! SHOULDER UP! SHOULDER UP!

 

 

COLE

YES! This match CONTINUES!

 

CABOOSE

NO! HOW! HOW COULD HE KICK OUT OF THAT?! All the punishment Drek Stone has put him through here! How could he kick out of the StoneCutter?! This is impossible!

 

If Caboose thinks he’s shocked, imagine how he thinks Drek feels. The Heavyweight Champion starts pounding his fists against the mat angrily, unable to comprehend that Axel has been able to kick out of the StoneCutter. With a burst of defiance, he scrambles to the #1 Contender and gives him another hard slap across the face.

 

COACH

Drek Stone is really losing it here.

 

CABOOSE

Can you blame him? This is for his livelihood!

 

Grabbing two full handfuls of Axel’s hair, Drek starts pulling for the Dark One to get back to his feet.

 

DREK

Come on. Get up. Get up, you son of a bitch!

 

With Axel looking ready to pass out on the mat, Drek continues to hold onto his hair, forcing him to stand.

 

DREK

I’ll be damned if you’re going to do this to me. This is my night. MY NIGHT! GET UP!

 

After struggling intensely to get Axel back up, he finally forces his hard-fought opponent to stand. He then slips behind him and locks Axel’s arms behind him in a full nelson position.

 

CABOOSE

Here we go. This is going to finish it off. The Recker. It has to!

 

The fans are at a fever-pitch now as Drek holds Axel in prime position for the Recker. With a breath, Drek finally lifts Axel up -- NO! Axel uses his weight to keep himself down! The Dark One then lifts his legs up onto the top turnbuckle and PUSHES HIMSELF BACK! But Drek keeps the full nelson locked on, so Axel rolls along with him, keeping Drek’s shoulders pinned down!

 

CABOOSE

Wait! NO! NOT THIS WAY!

 

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!

 

 

 

TWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE~!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

 

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

 

 

At the last second, Drek just rolled of the pinning predicament, sending the fans into hysterics. Yet, he still has the full nelson locked on!

 

COLE

Drek Stone is refusing to let go of that full nelson!

 

CABOOSE

Hell no! This is his chance! He’s going to put Axel away with the Recker or die trying!

 

With his arms still pinned behind him, Axel is forced back up to his feet by Drek Stone. Once both men are up, Drek keeps his body behind Axel and tries to bring him over with the Recker yet again!

 

CABOOSE

Come on! Do it!

 

Drek pulls his arms back to bring The Dark One along with him, but Axel suddenly pulls his arms apart, breaking the hold.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!“

 

Drek, somewhat shocked, leaves himself open for Axel to pull him up into a burning hammer position once again!

 

CABOOSE

Come on! This didn’t work last time! It’s not going to do it! Drek can kick out of it! HE CAN!

 

As Drek waves his arms wildly to get out of it, Axel jumps up -- AND DRIVES DREK’S HEAD INTO THE MAT WITH A BURNING HAMMER! But instead of releasing the hold, Axel rolls along with it with a cartwheel instead. The flip puts him back on his feet, automatically lifting Drek Stone back onto his shoulders in the burning hammer position once more.

 

CABOOSE

Wait! What the hell was that?!

 

COLE

No way! He just hit one Axel Slam! Is he going for --

 

Sure enough, with Drek now basically out cold on his shoulders, Axel jumps up -- AND SPIKES THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION INTO THE MAT WITH A SECOND CONSECUTIVE AXEL SLAM!

 

COLE

CHAIN AXEL SLAMS!

 

CABOOSE

Wait! Come on! This can’t be it! IT CAN’T BE IT!

 

With Drek out cold on the mat, Axel rolls him over and hooks the leg. The fans scream wildly with the referee as he counts!

 

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!~!

 

 

 

TWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO~!~!

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!~!

 

 

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

 

 

The roar rising up from the crowd is monstrous as the bell rings, signifying the Drek Stone title reign has finally come to an end.

 

COLE

HE DID IT! HE DID IT! AXEL HAS DID IT!

 

CABOOSE

Oh my god, no! I can’t believe it!

 

COACH

WE HAVE A NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! AND HIS NAME IS AXEL!

 

The crowd unanimously stands to their feet and start wildly applauding as Michael Buffer steps into the ring with the microphone in his hand.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner…..AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEW OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…….AXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-ELLLL!!!!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

The referee grabs the Heavyweight Title away from the timekeeper and climbs up the ring steps into the ring with the highly desired gold championship. With Axel sitting up on the mat, the referee hands the belt to Axel, which earns a MASSIVE reaction from the sold-out crowd in Trump Plaza!

 

COLE

This is a dream come true for Axel! This night could not have turned out any more perfectly! He got his revenge against Crystal! And he has FINALLY captured the OAOAST Heavyweight Title!

 

CABOOSE

Oh….oh my God. I’m going to be sick.

 

Axel stares at the title in his lap, almost in tears, as an army of OAOAST superstars start marching down to ringside to congratulate him. Global Party Xchange. Panther. Chicks Over Dicks. Zack Malibu. Hoff. The wrestlers just continue to walk down.

 

COACH

This is great! They’re all here to celebrate Axel’s moment. This is excellent.

 

CABOOSE

There is nothing excellent about this. Absolutely nothing~! Oh god, Drek! DREK!

 

COLE

Not only has Drek Stone lost the OAOAST Heavyweight Title…but because of his own promise, his career in the OAOAST is now effectively finished.

 

CABOOSE

Oh, don’t say this! DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT! I can’t deal with this!

 

COACH

Look on the bright side, Boose. At least you got a win tonight.

 

CABOOSE

I….I can’t. I can’t sit here and accept watching Axel win the Heavyweight Title. I’m gone.

 

With absolutely no one in the arena watching, Caboose rips off the headphones and walks to the back, clearly disgusted over this. Meanwhile, the most beloved OAOAST superstars have stepped into the ring to greet the triumphant Axel.

 

COLE

Look at this. This is an excellent moment! An excellent AngleMania moment. Remember this for the rest of your lives!

 

COACH

I’m sure Axel will.

 

COLE

What an epic match Drek Stone and Axel wrestled here! Maybe the greatest AngleMania match of all time! Just amazing, and both guys deserve all the credit in the world.

 

As the Global Party Xchange pick Axel up off the mat, he holds the title up over his head, getting an ear-shattering positive reaction for doing so. As Disturbed continues to blast over the loudspeakers, the four separate cannons in Trump Plaza suddenly explode, sending a mist of confetti scattering all over the ring.

 

COACH

Wow! Look at the confetti!

 

COLE

It’s not done yet though!

 

From the rafters, a staggering amount of balloons suddenly drop, bathing the entire arena in a sea of colorful confetti and ballons. Meanwhile, Axel stands in the ring with some of his best friends around him. He stands in the ring with the gold he has worked SO hard for. Panther gives him a friendly hug as Axel continues to cradle the title in his arm. But suddenly, Hoff steps forward with a reluctant grin on his face.

 

COACH

Uh oh. What could Hoff want here?

 

The action in the ring seems to suddenly stop as Hoff and Axel stare each other down in the middle of the squared circle. The wrestlers in the ring stop moving. The fans stop screaming. Everyone’s eyes are focused on Hoff and Axel glaring at each other, not wanting to blink.

 

But Hoff extends his hand first.

 

With a grin, Hoff urges Axel to shake his hand.

 

And, without much reluctance, Axel obliges.

 

The reaction in Trump Plaza manages to get even LOUDER as Axel and Hoff shake hands in the ring. A full acknowledgement of the respect they have for one another.

 

Along the way, the camera catches a glimpse of Drek Stone limping to the break. The Heavyweight Champion for more than four months. The man that put his career up on the line tonight, saying he could beat both Hoff and Axel. The man that managed to come up short by only one second.

 

The man that has promised to no longer step into the OAOAST ever again. He chokes back tears as he walks slowly, dejectedly, to the back.

 

But this moment isn’t about him.

 

This moment is about the man standing in the center of the ring with the Heavyweight Title now proudly strapped around his waist.

 

This moment is about the man that has had to deal with so much in his OAOAST career. From his blood feud with Ragdoll, to being thrown off a stage by Zack Malibu, to having his heart broken by Crystal, to everything in between. And now, tonight, at AngleMania IV, he has finally reached the pinnacle.

 

The reign of Drek Stone has officially ended.

 

And the reign of Axel is just about to begin.

 

Axel. World Heavyweight Champion.

Edited by NY Untouchable

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A OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT Production

 

DIRECTED BY

Tony149

 

WRITTEN BY

FailedMascot

Zack Malibu

Mystery Eskimo

Tony149

Hoff

Chuck Woolery

Papacita

#1 MST3K Mark

Patty O'Green

King Cucarancha

Alfdogg

NYU

CanadianChick

 

GRAPHICS BY

Papacita

 

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS

Mystery Eskimo

NYU

Hoff

Chuck Woolery

CanadianChick

Patty O'Green

 

EXECUTIVES IN CHARGE OF PPV PRODUCTION

Tony149

Stephen Joseph

 

OAOAST CREATED BY

CWM

Tony149

Anglesault

 

PRESIDENT/EXECUTIVE PRODUCER

Zack Malibu

 

© 2005

OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT

All Rights Reserved.

Edited by Tony149

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