Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 HeldDOWN is presented by OAOAST Entertainment. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The strains of Ashlee Simpson's LaLa play over the TV sets of America as we see the opening montage of a bunch of people kicking each other's asses. Highlights of Anglemania IV are mixed in now. It's a really spiffy package. Just like mine. We need a new theme song, though. We see the LOGO.... And we cut LIVE to the American Airlines arena in sunny Miami, where fireworks EXPLODE!!! We see the rabid crowd, holding signs and hoopin' and hollerin' like it was the world's biggest rave. We head down to the guys passing out the drugs, Triple C!! COLE (hastily putting his drugs away) Uh....WELCOME TO HELDDOWN!! CABOOSE (looking panicked) WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING!! COACH (sniffing something in a paper bag) MOUNTAIN DEW IS THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!! CABOOSE Fountain of GROSS, maybe. COACH What does that even mean? Caboose slaps Coach upside his bald little head. COLE Man, fans, we've got some good stuff lined up tonight, and not just what we were selling! We've got some awesome matches! Hoff versus Gunner Sharps! The Heavenly Rockers against the Frankensteiners! DAN BLACK against AXEL in a non-title confrontation! CABOOSE I can't believe I have to cheer for Axel AGAIN! Plus, if he accepts, and I KNOW he will, SOME GUY will take on CWM!! Kick his ass, SG! COLE And a whole lot more, but, wait....wait a minute...is that....is it? CABOOSE Holy Lord...it is!! The cameras cut to the crowd, where none other than SCOTT HALL is making his way through the fans!! COLE I can't believe it! Hall, being chased by some out-of-shape security, makes his way through the crowd. Wearing that damn bandana and holding a paper bag in the vague shape of a bottle, Hall hops hte guardrail and heads to the timekeeper's table! Hall swipes a mic, and shoves the timekeeper backwards! Stumbling, Scott Hall climbs into the ring and addresses the people!! HALL .......HEY YO!!! "YEAH!!!!!!!!!" COLE The fans love Scott Hall! CABOOSE He's just such a lovable screw-up. Hall spills some of the bottle's contents on his denim vest as he takes a drink, then raises the mic again. HALL SASSAFRASSIN COME TO SEE WCW!?! The fans go quieter, not really knowing what to say. HALL ORDJEYWCOMERETSEE THE-- Hall holds the mic out to the crowd...who don't respond. HALL ......HEY YO!? CUE: "Bound for the Floor" by Local H COLE WHAT THE HELL?! The fans pop as CHRIS STEVENS walks out to the ring! Glad for an end to the drunkenness, the crowd even breaks out a "Stev-ens" chant for the not-normally-liked competitor. Stevens, dressed in street clothes, mic in hand, climbs the ring steps and enters the squared circle. He and Hall step face-to-face. HALL Hey yo? STEVENS Save it. The fans cheer as Stevens turns to address them. STEVENS You know, I was in the back looking for Josie Baker, who isn't even here tonight, when I heard what was going on out here, and I couldn't stand to let it go on another second. "YEAH!!!!!!!!!!" STEVENS So let me tell you people something. That oaf, that mongoloid you cheer each week, he did a hell of a number on me. But I'm tougher than any of you realize, and I'm letting you all, and everyone in the back, take notice that I will be back sooner, rather than later. And I promise you, when I do come back, you'll all be talking about it the next morning. Chris Stevens isn't gonna be in the shadows anymore. The fans are stll mostly cheering, until Scott Hall gives Stevens a shove. HALL HEY YO! Stevens smiles, nods....then TAKES HALL'S HEAD OFF WITH A SUPERKICK!! The fans erupt as Stevens looks down at Hall and his spilled wine bottle, shaking his head. STEVENS Hey yo. "Bound for the Floor" kicks in to a big pop, as Stevens heads out of the ring, raising his arms. COLE Well!! What a wild night already!! And we're only getting started!! The scene cuts backstage to "Mean Gene" Okerland, standing with fan favorite Some Guy in the back. The fans show their love! "Mean" Gene Okerland: Some Guy, last week you were challenged for a match tonight by CWM. How do you feel about his challenge? Some Guy: How do I feel? It's a strange feeling to tell you the truth. CWM and I have been up and down the road a lot together. We laughed together, we drank together, and helped one another out. We were really tight in when we were members of the aWo. We were tag team champions. And even after the aWo disbanded we still remained friends. We remained friends through out all our trials and tribulations. We remained friends throughout all the crazy and sick things that he's pulled over the years. But this time it was different. CWM when you attacked Zack, that man who reached out to me and invited me back into the OAOAST two years ago you crossed a line. When you turned on him I took it as a slap in my face. "Mean" Gene: So are you going to accept his challenge or not? Some Guy: I've done a lot of thinking about this and with some reservations I do accept his challenge. I just hope that tonight I can beat some sense back into him and get him to start thinking clearly. His affiliation with Brannigan and Black clearly shows that he's lost his mind and I suppose it's my job to set him straight. "Mean" Gene: Why do you think he challenged you first? Why not Zack or Caboose? Do you think he feels that you are the weakest link? Some Guy: Well, if he feels that way then he's in for a big surprise. You saw Zack and I last week, you saw Zack, Caboose, and I at Anglemania. Did I look like a weak link then? They tried to single me out at the big show but they couldn't beat me. I am nobody's pushover and tonight CWM and everybody else will see that. I still consider him a friend and I know that he is still the same guy who used to throw this up: ::does the aWo hand signal:: with me. I've tried to call him and talk to him but he won't answer the phone and if having this match is the only way to get to him then so be it. CWM, tonight I'm going to set you straight and if that takes beating the hell out of you then that's what I'll do. "Mean" Gene: Well, there you have folks. Two former friends, one reluctantly will have at it tonight one on one! CWM vs. Some Guy later tonight, right here in Miami, Florida on OAOAST HeldDOWN! Stay tuned! *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 In her office, OAOAST Deputy General Manageress Jasmine Baker is backstage, shuffling through her usual stacks of paperwork, notices, old cinema tickets and baby photos. Hey, nobody ever accused her of being tidy. As she does though, her door suddenly bursts open. As it's liable to do, with so many angry, musclehead wrestlers around. Only...the two people who walk in aren't big, angry, muscleheads. They're a couple of scrawny kids. Wearing Burberry hats. JASMINE Can I help you. JAMIE O'HARA Yeah, you got 'ar contacts, love? Taken back by the uneducated drawling of the kid in front of her, Josie pauses. JASMINE Contracts? Erm...well, let me just look...a...name would help. RYAN BURGESS Yo, we'z the Birmingham Bad Boyz, innit! JASMINE In what? BURGESS Wot? JASMINE ...nevermind. Listen guys, my filing system's out doing the family thing right now. So, I'm afraid you're going to have to come back later when I've had time to organise my desk and fi... O'HARA Fa'hnd it! Jasmine's head wheels around as the camera pans over to the scrawnier of the scrawny kids. In his hand is the contract...but it's the pens, paper and paperweight in his baggy jeans that catch Jasmine's attention. O'HARA Wot you starin' at? JASMINE I'm going to need those pens back... The kid reaches into his pocket and grabs the handful of pens, throwing them onto Jasmine's already cluttered desk. Before grabbing her half eaten sandwich and shoving that in his pocket. JASMINE ...okay. Well, fellahs, the contract's all ready to be put through. O'HARA How much bling we gettin', ho? JASMINE ... BURGESS Wage. Wot we gettin' paid? JASMINE Oh...the wage is right there at the top of the contract. Now, as I wa... O'HARA WOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! BURGESS Aw, that's frikkin' boss. Wicked! O'HARA Man, I'm gonna be gettin' toasted tonight! Nicely toasted. And then we gon' roll up to a club and start bangin' some bitches. Coz we'z the Birmingham Bad Boyz! Hardcore Brummies gettin' down wit' ya mommies! Speakin' o'which... O'Hara strides over to where Jasmine is sitting, flashing a smile her way. O'HARA ...how 'bout we go for dinner and I'll buy the dizzert. You can order pancakes, I'll just sip tha sizzerp. JASMINE No offense, but I think I'll take a raincheck on that one. O'HARA You wot? BURGESS She sez no, brah. O'HARA Oh. Up yours then. JASMINE Charmin'. Listen lads, I'm real busy, so if you wanna go...loot some shops or steals some cars, or whatever it is you young whippersnappers do nowadays...then I'll try and get you a match as soon as I possibly can. Alright? ... BURGESS Fine. O'HARA Yeah, wotevah! JASMINE Great. Byebye now. The two kids leave the office, O'Hara's pockets still laden with stationary, as Jasmine takes away the fake smile she had put on her face (the kind you'd give a five year old when trying to get them to buzz off) and sighs. JASMINE Bloody chavs. *to the ring* HeldDOWN~! returns from commercial break with “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick already in the ring. “Know Your Role ‘99” is currently playing, but is being drowned out by the loud “P.R. SUCKS!” chants that are being said by the thousands in attendance. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and as you can clearly see, the corporate morons are in the ring. “Know Your Role ‘99” stops playing, but the “P.R. SUCKS!” chants continue resonating throughout the American Airlines Arena. PRL and Popick are both wearing suits and ties, and are both carrying their title belts: PRL with the 24/7 Title, and Popick with the Italian Championship. Tha Puerto Rican grabs the mike and looks to the heavily booing crowd. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Thank you for that kind reception you jackasses. The crowd boos. THA PUERTO RICAN Last week, I was handed over the OAOAST 24/7 Championship. Now, I know I have received some criticism over the past week because of this. I’ve heard people say (in a high pitched whiny voice): “You aren’t the real 24/7 Champion. You’ve degraded the 24/7 Title by having it handed over to you. You haven’t done a damn thing to deserve to wear that belt around your waist!” (Back to regular voice): But the truth is that I DESERVE to be YOUR 24/7 Champion. Who else but me has worked his ass off night after night? Who else but me has defeated OAOAST superstar after OAOAST superstar? And who else but me, Tha Puerto Rican, has become THE MOST ELECTRYFYING MAN IN ALL OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING? The answer? Absolutely no one! So, it should make sense that I, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, be given the 24/7 Championship! After all, there is nobody, and I MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, who is as good as yours truly. NO ONE! CROWD BOO~!!! COLE Oh, you have got to be kidding me! CABOOSE He’s telling the truth, you know. PRL is the best choice for 24/7 Champion. PRL Still. Still, I do listen to my fans. I do listen to the Lightning Bolts all over the world. And the Lightning Bolts are telling me that they want to see me defend my 24/7 Title. They want to see me battle it out against the best talent the OAOAST has to offer. They want to see the 24/7 Champion defend the 24/7 Championship! So, right now, in…this…very…ring, I am issuing a challenge. A challenge for the OAOAST 24/7 Title, Sunday April 24th at Living Anglelously. But, I am not going to wait till then to find out who I will be defending my prestigious belt against. Uh-uh. If any of you OAOAST jabronies…uh…I mean Superstars want a title shot against moi, then come out to this ring right now. That’s all you have to do. Just waltz down to this ring and tell me face-to-face “P.R., I want to fight you for the 24/7 Title.” That’s it. That’s all. That’s all there is. Go ahead. I’ll wait. PR and Popick stand in the ring. The crowd buzzes, waiting to see if anybody comes out. Seconds pass, but no one comes out. COACH Do you think anybody is going to show up? CABOOSE For a chance to go one-on-one with a legend like Tha Puerto Rican? You have to be crazy not to show up! PRL What’s the matter? Is there nobody backstage that wants to go one-on-one with Tha Puerto Rican? Come on! A few more seconds pass. The crowd is growing impatient, as is P.R. and Popick. PRL Go ahead. Anybody. Just come on down! I don’t care who it is. Big, small, fat, skinny, male or female. Young or old. A rookie or a veteran. I want to defend this belt! So, would somebody please come down to the ring? I don’t think the OAOAST wants this to turn into “The P.R. & Popick Show”! Still nothing. PRL & POPICK COME ON!!! COLE I don’t think anyone is going to show up. COACH I guess we should just cut to the next segment. CABOOSE Wait a few minutes! Besides, PRL is a ratings draw. Do you want the ratings to plummet just because it’s taking a little longer than usual for PRL’s opponent to come out? The crowd, P.R., and Popick are still waiting. After a good 2 minutes of waiting, “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi begins playing. PRL, Popick, and the crowd are puzzled, since nobody in the OAOAST has that song as their entrance music. At long last, the entrance doors slide open, and a man appears. That man is PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. A small pop is heard from several fans that remember PROTOTYPE from the IntenseZone days, but the majority of crowd has no idea who this man is. PROTOTYPE slowly walks to the ring, clad in red short tights, black fingerless gloves, black elbowpads, black and red kneepads, and black and red boots. COLE I know who that is! That’s PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member! He used to be a member of The Lightning Crew, but PRL kicked him out last year! He hasn’t been seen since April 1, 2004! COACH This is the guy that PRL counted on to take out The Mad Cappa! He brought him into the OAOAST as “Project: Cappa Killer” with the intent on crippling Cappa! Obviously, that didn’t work out, so PRL kicked him out of The LC because of that! CABOOSE It looks like PROTOTYPE is returning to the flock. They always do. It’s only a matter of time. The 6’6” Caucasian with a buzzcut enters the ring, towering over Tha Puerto Rican. PRL and Popick are surprised at the appearance of the former Lightning Crew member. PROTOTYPE has a pissed off expression on his face. This causes PRL to become nervous. COACH Do you think PROTOTYPE is answering PRL’s challenge? CABOOSE No way. He’s looking to return to The Lightning Crew! Watch. He’s going to get down on his knees, and beg PRL to let him back in. Just you wait. “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi dies down. PRL and PROTOTYPE stare at each other for a few seconds with the crowd wondering what is going to happen next. PRL begins to speak: PRL PROTOTYPE! How are you man? Long time no see. How are y— PROTOTYPE grabs the microphone away from Tha Puerto Rican. PROTOTYPE My name isn’t PROTOTYPE anymore. My name is John Brickston, but some people call me “Rock Hard”! PRL Okay then, PROTOTYPE—uh, I mean John Brickston. So, what brings you out here? I haven’t seen you since April of last year. JOHN BRICKSTON Well, you are issuing a shot at your 24/7 Title for Living Anglelously. You just said that you don’t care if it is a rookie or a veteran; big guy or small guy; fat or skinny; the first person who came to this ring, you would fight at Living Anglelously. And since I just came to the ring, I guess that means that I am going to be facing you for the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously. The crowd cheers at that remark, knowing the difference in height between PRL and Brickston means that PRL will most likely get his ass kick. TPR gulps, and, nervously, speaks on the mike. PRL You want a title shot, huh? Okay. Okay. Ummm, I, uh, I, um, I didn’t really mean what I said that I would fight the first person who came to the ring. I wasn’t specific enough. What I meant was, I would…fight the first OAOAST wrestler that came to the ring. BRICKSTON Well, you’re just in luck, because I just signed a new OAOAST contract! P.R. No. What I meant was that I would fight the first OAOAST wrestler who has been in the company for more than a year. BRICKSTON Cut the crap, P.R.! You are just afraid to get in the ring with me! Admit it. You thought I was great when you brought me into this company last year? Guess what? I’ve gotten better! I’ve been around the world, competing in Japan, Mexico, and Canada. I’ve done wrestling, boxing, MMA, and kickboxing! I am an all-rounder, and I have come to the OAOAST for the sole purpose of kicking your ass! The crowd pops at that remark. CABOOSE Gee, can a guy sound more full of himself? COACH Why of course, PRL! BRICKSTON I am not your machine anymore, P.R.! I am not your slave! Your brainwashing has failed. I am on my own now! I am NOT going to be pushed around! For I am JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON, AND I WILL DESTROY YOU AND TAKE YOUR 24/7 TITLE!!! COLE What a match for Living Anglelously! COACH PRL is going to have to give it his all when he faces John Brickston! PRL is more nervous now. Popick quickly tries to think of a plan. Once he does, he whispers it into PRL’s right ear. TPR smiles, and takes the mic. PRL Okay. Okay. I’ll fight you at Living Anglelously, BUT FIRST, I have to see if you are worthy of being #1 Contender to the 24/7 Title. That’s why, in order for you to get at me, you’re going to get a POPICK first! And just for fun, the Italian Championship will be on the line! COLE Oh come on! Tha Puerto Rican is trying to prevent a match between him and John Brickston from happening! CABOOSE Now, now I wouldn’t say that. PRL just wants to see if Brickston is all he claims to be. He can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? POPICK Oh yes, I will take you on for the Italian Championship! Just name the time and the place, I will come to the ring with the Italian Championship, and I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown! Oh yes. PRL Yeah, you beat Popick, you get me for the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously. If not, then it’s back to the bush leagues with you, pal! John Brickston thinks it over, a smile on his face. BRICKSTON Well, how about we fight right now? Popick and PRL’s smiles fade away. POPICK Now?! As in at this second!? No, no. Not now. I’m not ready! Look at me; I’m not in my wrestling attire! We have to do this at another time. Not now. I’m not read— BAM! JOHN BRICKSTON CLOTHESLINES POPICK TO THE MAT! COLE WOAH! PRL charges at Brickston, but when Brickston turns around, PRL stops, and backs away. Referee Billy Silverman runs into the ring. Popick heads to a turnbuckle to rest. Referee Billy Silverman holds back Brickston, telling him to wait for the bell. Stephen Joseph removes his sports jacket and tie. The crowd is eagerly anticipating this match. Popick takes off his glasses and white-collar shirt, and hands over the Italian Championship to Billy Silverman. Silverman raises the belt, while Brickston prepares to fight. Popick gets some last words of encouragement from PRL, while Billy Silverman calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* OAOAST ITALIAN CHAMPIONSHIP STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK (Champion with “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican) VS. JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON (If Brickston wins, he gets a shot at the 24/7 Championship at OAOAST Living Anglelously on April 24, 2005) Popick and Brickston lock up. Brickston shoves Popick into a turnbuckle, but Silverman tells him to break the hold. Popick and Brickston lock up again. Brickston punches Popick in the face a few times, and then grabs Popick’s right arm, and applies a hammerlock. Brickston shoves Popick into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but Popick ducks. However, when Popick bounces off the opposite ropes, Brickston gives him a MASSIVE clothesline. Brickston goes for the cover, and gets a two count. P.R. cheers his manager on, but Brickston is still in control, kicking Popick when he’s down, literally. John Brickston picks up Stephen Joseph, and gives him the CLUBBERING~! THEY BE CLUBBERING~! forearms to the back of Popick’s neck. Brickston follows that, by heading to the ropes, and leaping over SJP, giving him the Throwback, surprising the crowd. COLE What an impressive move from the 6’6” John Brickston! CABOOSE Who knew someone that size could do that? Brickston goes for the cover again. It gets two. Brickston picks up SJ again, and punches him in the face several times. Popick fights back, but the punches have no effect on Brickston. He puts Popick in a facelock, and then lifts him up, giving him a brainbuster. John “Rock Hard” Brickston heads to the top rope, waiting for Popick to get up. When he does, Brickston hits him with a double axehandle. Brickston picks up Popick again, and then whips him into the ropes. Stephen Joseph tries for another clothesline, but Brickston ducks, and gives him a full nelson slam. He stops to pose for the fans, who greet him with cheers. COLE And John Brickston is absolutely decimating Stephen Joseph in this matchup! Brickston heads to a turnbuckle, waiting for Popick to get up. While he’s waiting, Tha Puerto Rican grabs his right foot. Brickston notices this, so he turns around, and grabs PRL by his head. The crowd stands up, cheering Brickston on. But before Brickston can attack P.R., Popick dropkicks Brickston in his back, causing him to drop P.R. Stephen Joseph grabs John Brickston’s tights and rolls him up. 1… 2… KICK OUT! Popick punches Brickston in his head, desperately trying to keep him on the mat. John Brickston gets up, still being punched by Popick. Brickston blocks a punch, and fires back with a right hand of his own, dropping SJP to the mat. At this point, Tha Puerto Rican is biting his nails. Brickston grabs Popick and tosses him across the ring. He does this a second time to the crowd’s approval. He grabs Popick, and gives him a shoulder breaker. He picks him up again, and chokes him. He lifts him up, doing a double chokehold on Popick, which the crowd loves. CABOOSE Ref, that’s an illegal chokehold! You can’t let him do that! Disqualify him! Referee Billy Silverman tells Brickston to let go of Popick by the count of 5. Brickston drops him at 4. Stephen Joseph gets back up, and begs Brickston to stop beating him up. The crowd starts cheers Brickston on. John “Rock Hard” Brickston has a smile on his face as he walks towards the begging Popick. Suddenly, Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron, distracting the referee. While Billy Silverman is dealing with Tha Puerto Rican, Popick low blows John Brickston. COLE What a cheapshot! Popick stands up, and punches the still recovering John Brickston. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ring apron, as Popick knees Brickston in the face. The crowd boos, chanting “PO-PICK SUCKS! PO-PICK SUCKS!” Popick does some trash talking, in between kneeing Brickston in the face. Stephen Joseph Irish Whips John Brickston into the ropes, and clotheslines him. But, Brickston doesn’t budge. Popick tries another clothesline, and Brickston still doesn’t budge. Popick goes to the ropes a third time, but is picked up by Brickston, and slammed down with a Bossman Slam. 1… 2… POPICK KICKS OUT! “Rock Hard” Brickston picks up the dazed Popick, and gives him several European Uppercuts. Brickston gives him a gutwrench suplex, and then heads to the ropes. However, PRL grabs the top rope, which causes Brickston to fall out of the ring. CABOOSE Brilliant move by Tha Puerto Rican! That was just great! COACH PRL just cheated right there! CABOOSE He helped his manager. That’s all that counts in my eyes. Referee Billy Silverman begins counting. PRL puts the boots to Brickston. He picks Brickston up, and whips him into the stairs, with Brickston hitting his left shoulder on the steps. Silverman is up to 5 when Tha Puerto Rican throws Brickston back into the ring, after punching him in the face. Popick chokes Brickston as soon as he is thrown into the ring. Silverman breaks it up at 4. Popick does several soccer-like kicks to Brickston’s stomach, as the crowd boos. “PO-PICK SUCKS! PO-PICK SUCKS! PO-PICK SUCKS! PO-PICK SUCKS!” COLE If the match continues this way, we may not even see a 24/7 Title defense at Living Anglelously. Popick picks Brickston up, and goes for a suplex. Brickston holds on, but on the second try, Popick is able to lift Brickston up to give him a vertical suplex. Stephen Joseph heads to the top rope…and hits “Rock Hard” with a kneedrop. SJP punches Brickston in the face, while PRL cheers him on. Popick gets up, and poses, receiving boos. Popick yells out, “HE ISN’T EVEN IN MY LEAGUE!” Stephen Joseph goes back to the attack, giving Brickston a Fujiwara arm-bar. Referee Billy Silverman checks to see if Brickston submits, but Brickston does not. The crowd starts to come alive, clapping in unison, cheering Brickston to fight back. Popick lets go of the Fujiwara arm-bar, choosing to slam Brickston’s head repeatedly against the mat. The crowd continues booing, with PRL jawing with some fans at ringside. Popick drops some elbows onto John “Rock Hard” Brickston’s chest. Stephen Joseph applies a chinlock. The crowd roots Brickston on, but Brickston is starting to fade out. COLE This could be the end of the match right here! CABOOSE Well, John Brickston. You tried your best. You tried to win the Italian Championship, and take on PRL at Living Anglelously, but you failed. Oh well, you live and you learn. Stephen Joseph cinches the chinlock tighter, telling Brickston to give up. Referee Billy Silverman checks on John, holding his left arm up to see if it drops down. It does. He holds the left arm again to see if it drops. It does again. The crowd and PRL are getting anxious, waiting for the third drop. The ref holds the left arm once again, and it falls—NO! The arm doesn’t fall, which pops the crowd. Brickston moves his arms around, trying to escape the chinlock. The crowd gets hotter and hotter as Brickston gets on one knee. Brickston elbows Popick in the gut several times, and he soon escapes the chinlock. He punches Popick some more, and then whips him into the ropes. He follows with a big boot to the face. PRL cheers Popick on, but to no avail, since Popick is picked up by Brickston, and given a Death Valley Driver. John “Rock Hard” Brickston stands up, and lets out a mighty roar. John Brickston picks Popick up, and whips him into the ropes again. He gives him an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Brickston picks up Popick…and drops him with a powerbomb. Before Brickston can do another move, Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron once again. Referee Billy Silverman tries to get PRL off the ring apron, not noticing that Popick has once again given Brickston a low-blow. Stephen Joseph slowly gets up, with John Brickston still hunched over, trying to shake off the low-blow. Once Popick is up, he whips Brickston into the ropes. However, Brickston reverses, Silverman moves out of the way, and Popick bumps into PRL, who flies off the apron into the barricade. The crowd cheers. Popick is shocked, so when he turns around, John Brickston grabs him, and gives him a belly-to-back suplex. Brickston quickly turns Popick over, and grabs his right leg, applying an anklelock on him. COLE Brickston has Popick trapped in the anklelock! CABOOSE Come on Popick fight it! Fight the anklelock! Don’t tap out! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T TAP OUT! John “Rock Hard” Brickston has the anklelock applied in the middle of the ring. PRL is still recovering on the barricade. Referee Billy Silverman checks on Popick, who is desperately trying to crawl to the ring ropes. The crowd is cheering like mad, hoping that the anklelock ends the match. "TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!" COACH How much longer can Popick hold on? Brickston is yelling for Popick to tap. Since he is in the middle of the ring, and despite all his efforts, can’t make it to the ropes, and since Tha Puerto Rican is still dizzy from hitting the barricade, Stephen Joseph Popick has no choice… BUT TO TAP THE MAT!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK TAPS OUT TO THE ANKLELOCK!!! *DING DING DING* (7:41) COLE I don’t believe it! MICHAEL BUFFER The winner of this match…and NEW ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD ITALIAN CHAMPION…JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRRRRRIIICCCCCCKKKKKSSSSTTTOOONNNNN!!!! “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts playing again. John Brickston lets go of the anklelock, and has his hands raised in victory by Billy Silverman. The crowd cheers loudly, as Popick has his head buried in the mat. Brickston is handed the Italian Championship, and raises it to the roar of the crowd. COACH What a return from the man formerly known as PROTOTYPE! COLE John Brickston returns to the OAOAST tonight, challenges PRL for the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously, and then beats Stephen Joseph Popick, an OAOAST veteran, to win the Italian Championship, the belt that was originally the Puerto Rican Championship, which was brought to the OAOAST by Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE Oh no! NO! NO! It’s not fair! This is bullcrap! Absolute bullcrap! Brickston goaded Stephen Joseph into this match! He was not prepared! He said it himself! He was wrestling in a tanktop and dress pants! That’s not even his regular wrestling attire! He wasn’t prepared, and Brickston took advantage! He wouldn’t defeat Popick if Popick was prepared! COLE This means that Brickston will take on Tha Puerto Rican for the 24/7 Championship at Living Anglelously on Sunday, April 24th! But regardless of the outcome, Brickston will still be the Italian Champion! “Rock Hard” parades around the ring with the Italian Championship belt. TPR helps Popick out of the ring, Popick holding the right ankle that was in the anklelock. PRL sneers at Brickston, but Brickston laughs it off. “Godman Syngman” continues playing, with the crowd still cheering. COACH Stephen Joseph Popick defeated The Mad Cappa to win the Italian Championship at AngleSlam on August 29, 2004. Now, on April 14, 2005, his 7-month title reign comes to an end at the hands of someone who has just wrestled his first match on HeldDOWN~! COLE Talk about making an impact. I guess we now know why he’s called “Rock Hard”! CABOOSE Oh shut up! Someone should check on Popick! The man just lost his title, his ankle might be broken! For god sakes, WILL SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO POPICK?!!! John “Rock Hard” Brickston plays to the crowd, and does the “I Want The Belt” gesture, letting the crowd know he wants to win the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously. PRL whines about the loss as he helps Popick up the ramp. The Corporate Champ vows vengeance, but Brickston isn’t concerned about Tha Puerto Rican. COLE We have a new Italian Champion, and another match signed for Living Anglelously. It’s going to be the OAOAST Italian Champion John “Rock Hard” Brickston taking on the OAOAST 24/7 Champion “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship! COACH What a match that is going to be Michael Cole! CABOOSE Will someone help PRL and Popick? COLE We’ll be back with more HeldDOWN~! right after this! CABOOSE WILL SOMEBODY HELP PRL AND POPICK?!!! “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi continues blaring over the p.a. system while John “Rock Hard” Brickston raises the OAOAST Italian Championship belt on a turnbuckle, and lets out a mighty roar while the crowd cheers loudly. COLE Odd turn of events! Who would have thought this guy would win a title that Drek Stone and The Mad Cappa brought so much prestige to? In any case, we're being told Terry Taylor is standing by in the parking lot! Terry, you with us? We go to an arena parking lot where Terry Taylor stands patiently awaiting the arrival of Heavenly Rockers. Behind him lies quite the scene, hundreds of screaming and cheering Heavnly Rockers’ fans, mostly of the young beautiful female variety, are jam packed behind a steel barricade. Despite being the strongest barricade money can buy, it’s scarcely able to contain the enthused fans who are desperate for a glimpse of their gorgeous idols. Homemade signs and official Rocker’s merchandise are foisted into the air, accompanied by chants of “WE WANT THE ROCKERS” TERRY TAYLOR Terry Taylor, Offical OAOAST Tag Team Corespondent, backstage where I’m with three hundred of my closest friends.... MALE FAN TERRY TAYLOR TOUCHES KIDS! TERRY (a single tear forming in the corner of his eyes) waiting on the greatest rock n wrestling band of all time the... CROWD HEAVENLY ROCKERS!! BOOM BOOM BOOM No, that’s not the sound of elephants stampeding through the streets, although I’ll be damnded if that’s not what it sounds like. Its’actually the pulsating bass pouring from the costly sound system of an even more costly Escalade. The rowdy fans seem to know what this means and their cheers increase in volume doing a number on poor Terry’s ears. The black SUV, musical notes painted on the sides, gaudy bejeweled rims that are worth more then your life spinning, pulls into the area, nearly running Terry over in the process. TERRY Well..uh..I think they’re here! The front door swings open and out steps the driver, a man in his early thirties with a “Jesus” beard. He pulls open the passangers’ doors and The Rockers entourage off muscled up meat heads looking for a fight emerge. They crack their knuckles, necks and any other body part that cracks as they stand in front of a disheveled Terry, preventing him from seeing The Heavenly Rockers. The fans, who’ve been here for hours, aren’t as unlucky as the journalist is and scream at the top of their lungs at the sight of smash hit recording artists. The camera pans the crowd and we can see girls fainting and people trying to push their way to front for a chance to come face to face with the rock n wrestling icons. Logan “worships” the fans, and claims that he does it all for them. TERRY (looking at security rushing to restrain the wild crowd) Guys if I could just a quick word with The Heavenly Rockers before this whole thing turns into a riot. ENTOURAGE MEMBER #1 Wait behind the barricade like everyone else, asshole. TERRY I’m not some asshole, I’m Terry Taylor! OAOAST Offical Tag Team Correspondent! I’m here for an interview. ENTOURAGE MEMBER #2 (tightening his intimidating muscles) You spit dat Tag Team Correspondent shit like ah’m supposed ta give a damn. Terry’s wet with tears eyes brighten as Holly-Wood, The Rockers’ new lead guitarist, parts the sea of mountain thick bodyguards and entourage members. Holly’s decked out in flashy red leather pants with rhinestones down the side, a red tank top, glittering sheer angel wings and glittering eye shadow. Strangely this is the same outfit Synth, who’s climbed to the top of the SUV, is wearing. THE ANGEL OF DEATH HOLLY-WOOD Hey, Terry, you almost hit our car. Do you know how hard is to clean human blood off the windsheild? Trust me, it doesn’t get easier with experience. TERRY Holly, please just let me get a word with you guys! My dignity is riding on this interview. HOLLY Look, do you just talk to Joe Perry? No sir. Do you just talk to Diddy? Non monsieur. Or John Lennon? TERRY Well, he’s dead. HOLLY Then give me a hell no. If your name isn’t Mary Hart or you don’t work for MTV or you don’t have your own talk show on network television, we don’t wanna speak to you. Aurevoir. Or in your language, cock-a-doodle-doo. LOGAN “USHER” MANN (gently pushing his “better” half aside) Hold on, honey. Terry’s been a long time supporter of The Heavenly Rockers. One of our most loyal hangers on. When Synth tossed that hooker off the hotel balcony in Tijuana, Terry got us to the airport before the pigs could get in on us. So ask away, rooster. Cluck-cluck. That’s what rooster’s say right? Cluck cluck? RANDOM MALE FAN HOLLY, I WANT TO BE THE FATHER OF YOUR ABORTION! TERRY TAYLOR Well, you’ve got a match tonight against Frank and Frankie... SYNTH ESIZER Ah call em Lou Feringo and da The Elephant Man! Cuz Frankie is FUGLLLLY! Ah dropped turds wit more sex appeal den him. Why he bark like a dog? Strange. HOLLY I hope his parents got him neutered because if he ever reproduces it would be a crime against Jesus. Put that bitch to sleep. RANDOM FEMALE FAN I WANT TO FEEL YOU INSIDE ME, LOGAN! LOGAN Double T, I understand the Frankfurters heat with us. They’re mad that we ruined their magic moment against the poster boy for hair care club for men and Mr.Roboto in the Midnight Express. But let’s face it! The Frankensteiners should consider themselves lucky we ran in on their match and gave them the rub. What they experienced was like a high school garage band getting to jam with The Who! HOLLY (singing) Who are you? Who, who, who, who? That’s the question people ask whenever they see these goofs on TV because they have no idea who these losers are. Rooster, I don’t get their complaining. The Rockers running in on that match brought that segment’s rating point up a whole quarter of a percentage point. SYNTH From 0.00 ta 0.25! RANDOM FEMALE FAN #2 SYNTH, I KILLED MY HUSBAND SO I COULD BE FREE TO MARRY YOU! TERRY Holly, Logan Synth, I thank you. The Heavenly Rockers everybody! SYNTH Don’t ferget, May 17th, da new album Heaven Closing drops, heatin’ da streets! We got appearances by Luda, Sara Mclachlan and Da Angel Of Death Holly rockin’ in her debut as our guitarist. We’re puttin’ contenders and pretenders ta bed and lightin’ our joints wit’ Jacksons. TERRY Tito or Latoya? LOGAN What? TERRY Sorry, bad joke. HOLLY Everything you do is bad, moron. Someone brand an L on this guy’s forehead. The Rockers and Holly brush past the Rooster, leaving him alone in the cold. *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 *"The Wall" by Kansas hits and the crowd rises, anticipating the appearence of Alfdogg from through the curtains.* COLE: And here comes the first appearance of Alfdogg, following his brutal, classic bout against Sandman9000 at AngleMania IV! *The spotlights scan the crowd, then focus on the center skybox, where Alf is sitting with a microphone.* Alf: You know, when the year 2005 started off, I didn't know what life was going to hold in store for me. I was at rock bottom. Then, I came back for the Royal Rumble, for one last shot at glory. Despite seemingly being retired by this match, Alfdogg was now in high demand once again, which left Bill Watts no alternative but to bring me back in. *crowd cheers* The one thing I had been lacking that my peers, guys like Caboose, CWM, Some Guy, those guys had...was an AngleMania moment. Well, after Sunday, I've got more than enough AngleMania moments to last me the rest of my life. *crowd cheers* And with the marketing and the merchandising money that my match was able to draw, I am now able to afford such luxuries as this skybox here at the American Airlines Arena, in Miami, Florida. *crowd cheers at the mention of their city* You know, Shaquille O'Neal BEGGED me for a seat in this skybox...(*crowd beings light boos*) but I had to turn him down. Because you see, the NBA playoffs start in just one week, and the Miami Heat are arguably the favorites to become the champions of the World for the first time in their short history! *crowd cheers again* And it would be a shame, if the Diesel, who we ALL know isn't exactly a standard bearer for cardio and physical fitness to being with, (*crowd boos louder*) sat up here with me, and indulged in all these party favors. *At this point, Alf eats a nacho chip with chili on it as the crowd continues to boo.* Who knows...he could go out there, out of shape, and tweak his toe again...or perhaps he could come down with the dreaded stomach virus again. And while I'm on this subject, who the hell sits out an NBA basketball game with a STOMACH VIRUS? *crowd boos* I mean, seriously...even if I had a stomach virus, I'd go down there tonight, during that match between CWM and Some Guy, and I'd kick both their asses, BY MYSELF, and have it done in less time than it takes Ricky Williams to finish off a bowl! *crowd BOOS* But I'm sure all you people can rest easy knowing that I *don't* have a stomach virus. What I do have, however, is air conditioning, good food, and a great atmosphere to watch those two paper HOF'ers beat the crap out of each other instead. Back to you, Coach...I'm out like the Marlins in October! *crowd boos as "The Wall" plays.* COACH The Coach is out, too! HOLLA! CABOOSE Do you even know what you're saying? COACH COACH-CALLLLLL!! The fans rise as the classic Edgar Winter tune "Frankensteiner" begins blaring in the American Airlines Arena. The brothers from Oklahoma come out to a respectable ovation, some boos thrown in thanks to the rabid fanbase of their opponents, the Heavenly Rockers. Wearing their OU lettermen jackets, Frank hops in place on the rampway, stretching his arms out while older brother Frankie runs around smacking himself upside the head with both hands, barking. BUFFER The following contest on HeldDOWN~! is tag team action set for one fall. Making their way to the ring, from Oklahoma, weighing 525 pounds, Frank and Frankie, the FRANKENSTEINERRRRS! Frankie dives through the ropes and starts crawling on all fours, barking at the photographers ringside. Frank climbs onto the second turnbuckle and raises his arms in the air, unbuttoning his jacket as he jumps back down. COLE This match has been brewing for weeks now. 3 weeks ago, during a match involving the Frankensteiners and the New New Midnight Express, the Heavenly Rockers made their return after being sidelined a couple weeks, attacking Jim Cornette's men just as the referee was about to count them out. Understandably, that upset the Frankensteiners who have made it a point to make a name for themselves in the OAOAST like they have done in Japan for the HI-YAH promotion. OAOAST officials ordered a rematch the following week between the same parties, and again the Heavenly Rockers made their presence felt. Once again upsetting the Frankensteiners. COACH While the Frankies have yet to admit publically they are pissed with Synth and Logan, it's as obvious as the Britney is pregnant rumors that were recently confirmed. And just to clear up another rumor -- no, The Coach isn't the daddy despite Brit's constant request to shag up with TV's sexiest black man. CABOOSE Like there was any hope at all, Coachman. COACH Chicks dig The Coach, baby. CABOOSE When you play up to $500 an hour, I'm sure they do. G’s and Soldiers plays over the arena sound system. Ya’ll niggas betta play our shit cuz the gangsters we run this bitch Ya’ll niggas betta play our shit, cuz the soldiers we run this bitch Ya’ll niggas betta bang our shit, cuz the gangsters we run this bitch Ya’ll niggas betta feel our shit, cuz the soldiers we run this bitch The crowd's a-poppin' because they now know G's and Soldiers means one -- make that two things... THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! Outfitted in leather biker jackets, leather pants and chains, the boys from Sin City slap many of the fans that reach over the security railing, one of whom grab Synth's ass. He likes it. Uh, uh, uh!! COLE The Heavenly Rockers...are a great team. COACH WTF? CABOOSE For those reading this on closed captioning, he really did say W-T-F. THR enter the ring, with Synth pulling himself in and out many a-times before finally staying in the ring. On the other side of the squared circle, Frankie is scratching his head with his boot, Frank loosening up by pulling back down on the top rope. Once Frank is loosened up like a virgin after 5 sexual encounters, and Frankie is finished scratching the lice on his head, the 4 men step towards the center of the ring and show sportsmanship, a lost art in today's sporting world. But they do it new school, daddy -- none of this out-of-date handshake bullshit, they slap hands like REAL MEN! Frank and Logan waste no time locking up, with Logan taking control with a side headlock. The 275 pound Frank, who mysterious bulked up after a few training sessions with Barry Bonds and Greg Anderson, easily shoves the 218 pound Mann into the ropes. Frank leans his massive shoulder forward as Mann comes back towards him, knocking the lead singer of the Heavenly Rockers off his feet with a BIG SHOULDERBLOCK. Frank stands over the fall Mann, pointing his finger down at him and telling him to try it again. Logan rolls onto his side and back to his feet, holding the back of his neck after it bounced hard off the mat as he went down. In case he didn't hear him the first time, Frank reiterates he wants Logan to try to knock him off his feet. Logan shakes off the cobwebs and hits the rope. BOOM! Mann goes down again. Synth shouts some words of encouragement to his partner from the apron. Frank picks Logan up and whips him to the ropes. Mann ducks a clothesline attempt and comes back off the ropes and connects with a RUNNING DROPKICK flush in Frank's jaw, the crowd popping as the youngest Frankensteiner goes down. Quick cover! ONE... FRANK BENCH PRESSES LOGAN OVER THE REFEREE! CABOOSE He has power, and he isn't the Lord Jesus Christ! Frank charges with his arm cocked out, Logan side steps and sends Frank sternum-first into the ropes, cradling him from behind, but Frank is immediately able to kickout before the referee could go down to count. Frank quickly gets up and waistlocks Mann. OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SU-- NO! Logan lands on his feet and tags in Synth. The Heavenly Rockers wait for Frank to get up and turn around before connecting with a DOUBLE DROPKICK! Frank brought back to his feet and whipped to the ropes. Frankie with the blind tag. THR with another double-team move, a DOUBLE HIPTOSS. Synth and Logan turn around...STEINERLINE! RUFF! RUFF! RUFF! COACH He looks like a pitbull, but barks like the Taco Bell dog. Remember the Taco Bell dog? That loveable goon Frankie scoopes Synth up and rams him back-first into the top turnbuckle and then slams him onto the mat with a POWERSLAM. OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE! ONE... TWO... T-- LOGAN BREAKS UP THE PIN W/DOUBLE AXE-HANDLE TO BACK. Frankie and Logan start trading blows near the ropes. Mann ducks under a Steinerline and backdrops Frankie over the top rope. Logan turns to the outside to see where Frankie landed, perhaps setting up for a high-risk maneuver. The footsteps of an oncoming train known as Frank Frankensteiner grabs his attention, he turns around and is CLOTHESLINED OVER THE TOP ROPE! Synth with a double-axehandle from behind. Frank turns around and engages in a chop fest with Synth, the sound of flesh smacking flesh echoing throughout the arena (remember it's also good to recycle), repressed memories of being spanked by a nun with a ruler flashing through the minds of many. Knee to the midsection momentarily stuns Frank, who is Irish wh-- Irish whipped reversed. Frank catches Synth, real name Tiffany, coming off the ropes and LAUNCHES HIM IN THE AIR, the Synthmeister wrapping his legs around Frankie's head, who just climbed back on the apron seconds before, and takes him back into the with with a FRANKENSTEINER! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" CABOOSE Holy, indeed. I have never seen that before. COLE What athleticism displayed by Synth. Synth kips back up -- because he has nothing to sell -- rubbing his hands through his hair and pumping his fists, fired up by the cheers of the crowd, the adreanline running through his veins like Holy Water on a baby's head. Synth notices Frank charging at him through the corner of his eye so he wraps his arm around Frank's outstretched arm, floats over the top and hits PERCUSSION! FLOAT OVER DDT! Instead of going for the cover, Synth leaps onto the middle rope, flips backwards and lands on top of Frank. ASAI MOONSAULT! He covers Frank, but Nick Patrick has to be the bearer of bad news, telling Synth Frank isn't the legal hombre. He can't believe it. Neither do the fans. But they aren't the referee. Synth gets back up...and walks right into the arms of Frankie... BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! He licks Synth's face as he covers him. ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! SHOULDER UP! Synth grabs a handful of hair and SLAPS Frankie on top of the head, saying "No! No, no." For a split-second everything pauses, with Frankie whimpering, until he snaps out of whatever he was mentally snapped in and drills Synth Esizer between the eyes with a right hand. He turns over to his brother who he sees pointing up with his thumb. Frankie picks Synth up, spins him around and lifts him onto his shoulders as younger brother Frank climbs up the turnbuckles from within the ring. How smart that is after being dropped on your head is questionable, to say the least. But nobody claimed brains were the Frankies strongest assets. CABOOSE Oh, yes! I've seen this move before. They're going for a TOP ROPE DDT! COACH No way. I gotta see this. LOGAN leaps onto the apron and SHOVES FRANK BACKWARDS, crashing into Frankie who is rolled up by Synth. VICTORY ROLL! Logan with a SLINGSHOT 450 SPLASH ONTO FRANK FROM THE APRON! ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! FRANKIE KICKED OUT! The Heavenly Rockers both kick Frankie in the midsection and set him up and hit DOUBLE PERCUSSION! BUT FRANKIE POPS RIGHT BACK UP! Synth and Logan glance at one another, stunned. STEINERLINE! Frankie takes both men out with a Steinerline. He runs around barking, then falls on top the legal man, Synth. ONE... TWO... LOGAN PULLS FRANKIE OFF! Frank whips Logan around and drops him on his back with a beautifully executed double-leg takedown. Frank mounts on top and pounds his massive forearm across the face of Logan, drawing blood from the mouth after a few blows! Nick Patrick tries to regain some order, which has been lost for quite sometime, only to have Frankie rudely respond by FLIPPING THE BIRD. COLE Frank has snapped. He's filled with rage. All that pent up frustration coming out before our very eyes. CABOOSE Obviously Frank has the same doctor as Hoff. Synth shoves Frank off Logan. Frankie then shoves Synth who shoves right back who is shoved by Frank who he shoves back. Nick Patrick tries getting between the 3 only to have them all THROW HIM OUTSIDE. Patrick gets up favoring his shoulder and calls for the bell. BOOOOOOOOOO! * DING DING DING DING * Nick Patrick walks over to confer with ring announcer Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Referee Nick Patrick has informed me that BOTH TEAMS have been disqualified! "LET THEM FIGHT!" "LET THEM FIGHT!" "LET THEM FIGHT!" Nick Patrick won't, but the two teams will. All 4 men begin slugging it out in the ring, no punches pulled, just straight up bar room brawling here. Logan gets some payback on Frank, taking him off his feet with a double-leg takedown of his own. The two roll around the ring, throwing punches wildly, eventually falling to the outside. OAOAST Head of Security, the always dependable CARL WINSLOW leads a crew of men down to the ring. Carl and his boys try restoring order, but after a couple of failed attempts just throw their arms up and let the guys fight. "Let's just go get some doughnuts," the mics pick up Winslow saying. While Frank and Logan continue brawling around ringside, throwing each other into the guardrails and ringpost, in the ring we got another little brawl going on with Frankie and Synth, both looking like they're about to croak. Frankie swings his arm back and bashes it across Synth's face, knocking him down. Frankie doubles over for a quick breather, just to have Synth KNEE HIM IN THE BALLS! Frankie falls on his BUTT, holding his groin region, in obvious pain. COLE It is chaotic! The tension between the two sides being released here tonight. How do you call this action? COACH I don't know, but The Coach wants to see these two rumble again. COLE Look in the crowd! Look in the damn crowd! We pan over to a section of the arena, almost near the backstage area, where Frank is holding an OLD MAID'S WALKER OVER HIS HEAD AND DROPS IT ACROSS MANN'S BACK! The walker is positioned vertical and Frank lifts Mann up for what appears to be a back suplex, only to GROIN HIM ON THE WALKER, FOLLOWED BY A STIFF FOREARM SMASH! Frank MILITARY PRESSES Logan and nearly slams him on the concrete floor, but Mann breaks free by RAKING THE EYES AND CLOTHESLINING FRANK OVER THE GUARDRAIL! Logan leaps onto the guardrail and jumps into Frank, his legs wrapped around him for an attempted hurricarana, but Frank catches him and RUNS ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE ENTRANCEWAY AND DROPS MANN ON THE INTERVIEW STAGE VIA A RUNNING POWERBOMB! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Frank slumps against the interview stage, breathing heavily. He looks towards the camera, which pans back to reveal SYNTH RUNNING TOWARDS HIM WITH A STEEL CHAIR IN HAND, HE DIVES AND RAMS THE CHAIR DIRECTLY INTO FRANK'S FACE! Frank lies on his stomach, his hands caught between his legs, a great camera shot showing a gash over his right eye, presumably from the chairshot. Sensing they've gotten all the fight out of them, OAOAST officials return to restore some order. It finally looks that way until a FRANKIE comes running into the picture, charging like a bull running through the streets of Spain, herds his way through the group of officials and SPEARS SYNTH, THEN HAMMERING HIM WITH RIGHT HANDS. Road agents Terry Taylor and Terry Funk pull Frankie off Synth. Guys are bleeding all over the place. Logan from the mouth, Frank from the eye, and now Frankie from the nose. Stretchers are brought out from the back for Logan and Frank, but neither wants it. Their partners help them back to their feet and the 4 beginning going at it again, this time shouting obscenities towards one another, while the fans give them all a standing ovation for one helluva fight. COLE Without question the damnest fight I've ever seen. And it was just that, a fight. Wowers! I don't know what we have next, but the way the OAOAST is, we could have something even crazier happen. CABOOSE Well they're telling me that the P.R. Menace is going crazy in the back right now! Hey ho let's go! *cut to the back* The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room, where PRL is in the process of destroying anything he finds. This means chairs, lamps, and tables. The Lightning Crew doesn’t even bother to stop him, and just let him do whatever he so pleases. Stephen Joseph sits on a chair near the door, thinking about his lost. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN UGH!!! STUPID PROTOTYPE!!! I created you and this is how you repay me?!!! You away the Italian Championship; The belt Popick proudly wore for 7 months?!!! You should be on your knees thanking me you selfish sumbitch!!! PROTOTYPE, JOHN BRICKSTON, “ROCK HARD”, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL YOURSELF!!! I HAVE A NAME FOR YOU, DEAD MEAT!!! PRL looks at The Lightning Crew. PRL Don’t just stand there. THROW SOMETHING! Mr. Boricua throws a lamp into a wall, breaking it. TPR gives him a thumbs up. PRL That’s better. PRL turns his attention towards Popick, who is not paying attention to anything that’s going on. PRL AREN’T YOU GONNA SAY SOMETHING?!!! Popick gets up, and, calmly, addresses The Lightning Crew. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK I got beat. I admit it. I was having an off night, and John Brickston was on fire. Hats off to him for beating me, which is not an easy task. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to bitch. I’m not going to scream. No, I am going to look towards the future. And the future looks bright. So bright, I got to wear shades. Because on April 24th, MY Corporate Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, will beat John Brickston. On April 24th, MY Corporate Champion, Tha Puerto Rican will DESTORY John Brickston. And on April 24th, at OAOAST Living Anglelously, MY Corporate Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, will pin John Brickston 1-2-3 to retain the OAOAST 24/7 Championship!!! PRL Yeah. That’s right. That’s exactly what’s going to happen. I’m going to lay the smackdown on his candy ass! Sure, Brickston might have won have won the Italian Championship, BUT HE WON’T WIN THE 24/7 TITLE AT LIVING ANGLELOUSLY!!! I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT!!! POPICK Yes. That is indeed the truth, Ruth. PRL Heh. Damn right. PRL, Popick, and The Lightning Crew stand still for a few seconds TPRL Eh, I’m going to get a beer. PRL and Popick exit the room. The Lightning Crew all look at each other. CUBAN WALL Do those two even remember that we still exist? *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 Inside the jammed packed, sold-out area, where they're hanging from the rafters, Jim Cornette is standing atop the interview stage near the rampway wearing the green jacket -- supposedly -- given to him by Tiger Woods himself, a nod to Tiger winning his 4th Masters tournament this past Sunday. "CORNETTE SUCKS! CORNETTE SUCKS! CORNETTE SUCKS!" CORNETTE (pointing around arena w/tennis racket) Don't we have ourselves a rowdy bunch here tonight. I can see the beer has already killed your braincells. (into camera) Anyway, I'm Jim Cornette, and welcome to the lastest installment of The Louisville Slugger! As you may have noticed -- and I know you did -- we've been off the air for sometime, not because of the FCC, but because OAOAST officials wouldn't allow me to do the show unless I promised to have on other guests besides the twin sons from different mothers, Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned -- the New New Midnight Express. After countless letters from viewers like you begging me to bring the Slugger back, I came to terms with the OAOAST to bring back The Louisville Slugger! BOOOOOOOO! CORNETTE I know, I'm excited too. And it didn't take me long to figure out who I wanted as my first guest on the return of The Louisville Slugger -- but Tony Brannigan was busy. So I settled for the man who defeated "Reckless" Drek Stone for the OAOAST Title at AngleMania IV, the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion.... AXEL! YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Hey you Mrs I dont know what the fuck your name is Im drawn to you somethings magnetic here If I could approach you or even get close to the scent that you left behind Id be fine No doubt that (no doubt) you bring out (bring out) the animal inside I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! I'd eat you alive..... I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! I'd eat you alive..... BOOM! The fans are on their feet cheering loudly. The cheers grow even louder when a dark figure emerges from the cloud of smoke caused by the pyro. AXEL! BOOM! I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! I'd eat you alive..... I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! I'd eat you alive..... Axel's dark coat flaps in the air as he walks over to the interview stage, the leather strap of the OAOAST Title grazing the arena floor as he climbs up the steps onto the stage. Jim Cornette nearly trips over his own feet, intimidated by the presence of the World Champion. Axel points at each section of the arena, then strikes his trademark CRUCIFIX POSE to a thunderous ovation! "AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL!" The Champion turns to the camera, holding his pose and yells at the top of his lungs, getting another loud pop. A bit heisitant at first Cornette moves closer to Axel. CORNETTE Heh. Hot entrance. If I was Donald Trump I'd be pulling a Michael Jackson Pepsi commerical by now. But Axel, let's talk about your first title defense; as seen right here last week on HeldDOWN~! against Tony Brannigan. It was a great back-and-forth match that unfortunately ended in a DQ when Tony's Black T and Original Elite partner Dan Black interfered. AXEL If there's one thing I hate more than a 20-minute promo, it's a non-finish. I'm not going to be like past champions and win it any way I can. When I walk out of that curtain and enter the ring I'm going in with the mindset I'm coming out with my hand raised. This is competition. It's two men stepping inside the square circle and giving their bodies for the World Heavyweight Championship. It took me a couple of years to finally reach my goal, and like I said last week, I'm game for giving anybody who signs on the dotted line a shot at the title. But it now seems like one man has emerged from the rest of the pack and is calling me out, that man being Tony Brannigan. BOOOOOOOO! AXEL For a man who ridicules others for expessing their thoughts, Brannigan sure does complain a lot himself. From my understanding, for the past week he's been telling anyone who will listen to his lies that he had me on my last legs last week and was about to win the title if it weren't for "home team calls." Apparently one of my many punches knocked some sense out of Tony's brain because I -- and the fans and everybody watching live on TSM can back me up on this -- seem to recall Brannigan being the one on his last legs until his bosom buddy Dan Black ran in to save him from the clutches of defeat. So Tony Brannigan, since we seem to have a difference of opinion about our match last week, and as a fighting champion, why don't we give the people the clear-cut winner they deserve and meet again Sunday night, April 24th, live on pay-per-view at Living Angleously?! No help from the outside. Just you and me, one-on-one. YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH! COLE Oh, yeah. Tony Brannigan vs. Axel for the OAOAST Title at Living Angleously, April 24th! COACH I'm down with that. CORNETTE Are you crazy?! Brannigan gives you a tough match and you want to wrestle him again? If you were under my managerial services... AXEL I'm not. CORNETTE But if you were, I'd strongly advise you not to. I mean--I mean... Are you crazy?! "He's simply ravishing...OWWWWW!" BOOOOOOOO! Axel, Cornette and everyone in the arena turn their heads to the entranceway. Tony Brannigan, wearing a tailor-made suit and specially designed oval sunglasses, appears on the rampway and begins making his way to the interview position with a cocky smirk on his face. Jim Cornette greets the former OAOAST & HI-YAH Tag Team Champion with a handshake. Tony removes his sunglasses and places them inside the inner breast pocket. Axel drapes the OAOAST Championship over his shoulder, making sure Brannigan knows who's the World Champion. TONY Cut the music. The music fades out. And the chants begin... "TONY SUCKS! TONY SUCKS! TONY SUCKS!" Cornette stands between the two men, looking both ways to ensure he doesn't get caught in any crossfire. TONY Don't worry, James E., I'm not going to get physical, I'll save that for our match at Living Angleously, Axel, which I so gladly accept. Because unlike you and all of the people sitting on their fat asses in the stands, I have something called class. I know everybody cannot live my lifestyle, but being the true gentleman that I am, I'm going to give the people the pleasure of feasting their eyes on the next Heavyweight Champion of the World. BOOOOOOOO! Cornette nods with a smile. Axel remains stone-faced. TONY I'm not sure whether to admire you or call you stupid, because you're giving the greatest wrestler never to hold the OAOAST Championship another shot at the title. But one thing I do know, at Living Angleously I'm not going to put myself at the mercy of some scrawny official. Last week I learned the hard way that the home team gets all the calls. I had you down for the count many times, Axel, but you kept getting saved because the skirts in the office think having a guy who gets the appreciation of all these morons is good for business. Just like presidents, all the best ones were hated at one time or another. Lincoln--hated in his day. Nixon--hated. COLE NIXON?! TONY (CON'TD) Regan--hated. George W.--hated. COACH Talk about reaching out to the other side. Heh. Where are the mules, or are they donkeys? TONY You see, they all faced adversary during their time in office. Lincoln had the Civil War, Nixon 'Nam, Regan the U.S.S.R., and my man W. with the War on Terr. CABOOSE Somebody should tell him things didn't turn out too well for Milhouse. COLE I can't believe he's comparing himself to presidents. This guy is an egomaniacal manic. TONY After having to wait 3 long years for my first World Title shot I proved I'm championship material. Brannigan's Law, Mr. Axel. Not only will I give you an attitude adjustment, I'm gonna take your World Heavyweight Tiiiitle! AXEL As long as I'm still breathing, this title stays mine! Tony laughs as he climbs down the stage and heads backstage, Axel keeping a close eye on him. The Champ's music, "Eat You Alive," cues up. Brannigan and Axel continue their INTENSE~! staredown. Scattered "AX-EL" chants as we.... ....cut to the back! The scene cuts to a shot of Hoff, wearing his white "H" tee (why haven't you ordered yet?) over electric-blue ring gear. The crowd pops as Hoff rolls out his neck and shoulders, preparing for battle later this evening. Next to him is the stone col' pimp of da nation, the diminutive J. Math, Josh Matthews, with a microphone. MATTHEWS Hoff, last week we heard that you and Crystal will compete at Living Anglelously on April 24th, in a match to determine the #1 contender to Axel's World Heavyweight Title. What are your reactions to that match being made? Hoff looks down at Josh with an expression of surprise. HOFF My reactions, Josh? I don't have "reactions" to being told to go out and kick someone's ass! The only thing I'm thinking is how much fun I'm gonna have whooping Crystal's rear end all over that ring, and how.... Hoff pauses and closes his eyes, breathing in deeply. HOFF How tuly sweet it will be to finally get my shot at Axel. The crowd goes BANANA and starts chanting for Hoff, who smiles. Josh takes the mic back. MATTHEWS Well, it's certainly a great opportunity, but don't you think you may be taking Crystal a little bit lightly? After all, she is a former World Champion herself. Hoff takes a more serious tone. HOFF You're right, Josh, you're absolutely right. Crystal is a former World Champ and-- hey...hey wait, Josh. I just remembered something. Who did Crystal lose the World Title to? MATTHEWS Well, that would be you, Hoff-- HOFF You're DAMN RIGHT it was me. "YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!" HOFF Josh, I take Crystal very seriously. She's one of the finest athletes in the world today. But Crystal quite simply is not the future (crowd pop!). That mantle belongs to me, and I intend to make good on it. "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" After a brief pause, Josh takes the mic. MATTHEWS Well, moving on to tonight, do you have anything you'd like to say before your match with Gunner Sharps? The crowd boos the mention of the seven-footer's name as Hoff takes the stick. HOFF Only this. (looking straight at the camera) Crystal, I hope you're watching tonight. I want you to watch, and I want you to take a real good look. Not only are you standing in the way of me and my title, but you tried to hurt a friend of mine. Tonight, I'm going to hurt one of yours, and at Living Anglelously I'm gonna hurt you. Watch out, Crystal. Watch out, because the future....is coming. Hoff flips the mic back to Josh and walks off, heading for the stage. COLE Hoff versus Gunner Sharps is NEXT!! *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! The fans come alive as Chevelle's "The Clincher" hits and Hoff steps out onto the stage!! FINKEL Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall! Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 275 pounds....HOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoff walks down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans as he goes, before rolling into the ring. COLE What a contest this is gonna be! Gunner Sharps taking on an old rival, Hoff! Hoff gets to his feet and climbs the near corner, throwing a fist into the air and setting off flashbulbs around the arena as he closes his eyes and soaks it in. COACH This match is gonna be power versus power! J.R. (from out of nowhere) This ain't ballet!! Caboose chases J.R. off before turning back to his colleagues. CABOOSE You're probably not going to see anything pretty in there, besides Hoff getting speared into itty bitty pieces. But who knows? Hoff is something of a chameleon in the ring, and Gunner is no slouch! Hoff climbs off the ropes and heads across the ring, climbing the far corner. He stands on the second rope and FLEXES~ as the hard rock anthem blares, setting off another round of flashbulbs in the crowd. COLE The history between these guys is pretty extensive. Of course, both men entered the OAOAST as a part of the Underground faction, then went their separate ways, then met again last summer in a series of brutal bouts! CABOOSE Which saw THIS man come out on top. As Caboose speaks, Dope's "Sick" kicks in across the arena loudspeakers, and the fans boo as Gunner Sharps steps out through the curtain. FINKEL And his opponent, weighing in at 375 pounds.....GUN-NER SHARPS!!!!!!!! Gunner, in his orange jumpsuit, hits himself repeatedly in the chest, working himself into a frenzy. As he walks down the aisle, Gunner screams profanities at the paying customers, most of whom yell right back. A mother covers her son's ears as Gunner walks by, and the huge man flips off the mother. COLE That man has a NASTY disposition! COACH A nasty smell, too! CABOOSE You're just jealous. Especially YOU, Coachman. Gunner's the muscle for the crown jewel of this company, and tonight he's gonna lay down the law! Gunner looks up as he reaches the end of the aisle...finding Hoff SAILING over the top rope! Gunner's music quickly cuts out, and the house lights come up just in time to show the big man crashing down across the chest of the even bigger man!! The fans cheer as Hoff wipes Gunner out with the big cross-body, then begins laying into him with some mean right hands! CABOOSE THAT'S NOT WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!! Gunner doesn't even have his jumpsuit off! COACH That thing is ridiculous anyway! What's he gonna do, change your motor oil? *THWACK* COACH OW!! CABOOSE Thanks, Jess. JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA It's The Body's way or the highway! Hoff gets off of Gunner and slaps hands with the nearby fans. The referee, Charles Robinson, comes out of the ring to admonish Hoff, but Hoff ignores him and bends to pull Gunner up. Gunner, though, is ready and grabs Hoff, charging and driving him backwards into the ring apron!! The fans boo as Hoff lands hard on the edge of the ring, grabbing at his back as Gunner pulls him away. Still holding on, Gunner rams Hoff's back into the edge once again!! CABOOSE Heh. THERE we go. Now this I like. COLE Gunner Sharps is a fighter out there. He's not a technician by any means; his only concern is how he can best hurt his opponent. Robinson pleads with Gunner now to get into the ring, but since the bell hasn't rung, he has no legal recourse. Knowing this, Gunner grabs Robinson by the forehead and SHOVES him onto his BUTT, sending the ref skidding acorss the thin protective mats. Gunner grabs Hoff by the hair and pulls him off of the side of the ring, ramming his skull into the nearby guardrail. Hoff grabs his forehead, stumbling away in pain. Gunner, sensing the opportunity, follows Hoff and grabs him again by the back of the head, this time violently hurling him up the aisle! Hoff lands on his back, sprawled out on the concrete floor. COACH Damn, Gunner's got a lot of power to toss a guy like Hoff around that way! COLE Gunner's entire game is his size and strength. He is a freakish specimen. Over seven feet tall and nearly 400 pounds. Gunner uses the spare moment to unzip and wriggle out of his jumpsuit, throwing it at a large woman in the front row. The orange garment smacks her in the face, causing Gunner to guffaw, and the fool, not knowing what an eBay goldmine she has, tosses it back over the railing. Gunner turns and strides over to Hoff...who doubles him over with a forearm shot to the gut!! COLE Gunner should have worried about his attire later! Gunner reels, and from his knees, Hoff fires another shot to the bread basket! Gunner turns away, and Hoff gets to his feet...only to be LEVELED by a surprise clothesline from Gunner! Hoff lands hard on the back of his neck, and Gunner pounces, pulling him right back up and scooping him. Gunner uses all of his seven feet to lift Hoff HIGH into the air, and bodyslam him onto the concrete! COACH Man, Hoff is takin' a pounding, and the bell hasn't even rang yet! Hoff's back arches, and Gunner holds his arms out to the sides, jawing arrogantly with the nearby fans. Gunner waves the booing people off and grabs Hoff by the hair, pulling him up and grabbing him in a front face lock. Gunner throws Hoff's left arm over his own head, and tries to lift Hoff...but the big man blocks!! Gunner rears back again, but Hoff uses his leg to block...then lifts Gunner up and drops him with a vertical suplex onto the concrete!! The fans go wild as Hoff slowly gets to his feet!! COLE Amazing! How strong do you have to be to lift a man like Gunner Sharps over your head and bring him back down? CABOOSE Pretty strong. COACH Yeah, although the falling down part is easy. CABOOSE You would know, spaz. As Coach's feelings are wounded, Hoff pulls Gunner up by his long, greasy hair and drags him toward the ring. With some effort, Hoff tosses Gunner back into the ring under the bottom rope, then rolls in himself. With a relieved look, Robinson finally calls for the bell to officially send us underway. *ding ding ding* COACH Finally! CABOOSE Why are you so happy? COACH I have no idea. CABOOSE Well, in any event, it means I'm not doing my job. Hoff yanks Gunner up by the hair, and lets loose with a few big right hands (he be clubberin', Tony) that send his larger foe into the ropes. Hoff grabs Gunner and whips him, but Gunner reverses and sends Hoff into the strands. Gunner raises his boot as Hoff comes off, but the big man ducks under the leg and keeps running! Gunner turns to meet Hoff, but the fan favorite grabs the top rope to stop his momentum! Hoff looks at Gunner and SMILES, actually waving at the big monster, sending Gunner into a rage! The fans cheer as Gunner charges in with another big boot, but Hoff falls, grabbing the top rope as he does, and Gunner ends up CROTCHED on the top rope!! Gunner's eyes bug out and he grits his teeth in pain! CABOOSE Ooooh, ouch. COACH That's not a place you wanna be. COLE Speak for yourself! CABOOSE AND COACH !?!? COLE Um....never mind? Michael Cole's perversions aside, Gunner is in a bad way as a broadly-grinning Hoff SHAKES THE TOP ROPE, jarring Gunner's acorns to the delight of the fans!! Hoff finally grabs Gunner by the back of the head and violently sends him back into the ring, causing Gunner's skull to rebound off the canvas. Hoff looks out at the fans, smiles, and shrugs, sending them into a frenzy. "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" Hoff pulls Gunner up, and this time successfully whips him into the ropes. Gunner comes off and eats a back elbow, grabbing his jaw as he stumbles back. Gunner turns to face Hoff, who pops him with a big right to the jaw! Gunner's head snaps back, and Hoff hits him again, sending him into the corner! Gunner slumps against the buckles, and Hoff is on him like a rottweiler, laying in some BRUTAL right hands! Gunner tries to cover up, but Hoff just keeps firing away!! The fans are LOVING it, until Robinson grabs Hoff by the arm! Hoff turns and throws a right-- NO! Hoff keeps his fist cocked, almost hitting the official, but able to restrain himself. COLE Whoa! Hoff almost flew off the handle! CABOOSE It's the heat of battle, Cole. Trust me, I know. Sometimes when you get on a roll you get carried away. Hoff turns away from "Li'l Naitch" and back to Gunner, who's still feeling the effects of Hoff's onslaught. Hoff grabs Gunner by the arm, and whips him out-- NO! Gunner holds on to the top rope! Hoff, looking perturbed, tries again, but Gunner won't budge! Hoff rolls his eyes and turns around -- only to be yanked toward the corner and FLOORED by a short-arm clothesline! CABOOSE HAHA! Right out of Hoff's playbook. The fans boo as a still somewhat groggy Gunner shakes the cobwebs from his head, then reaches down with both arms and GRABS Hoff! With all his might, Gunner places his hands around Hoff's throat, then rears back and HURLS him off the mat, into the air, and across the ring in one smooth motion! The fans pop a little as the near-300 pound Hoff goes flying, and Gunner himself is sent back down to the canvas. COACH DAYUM~! You guys see that? COLE What a MOVE by Gunner Sharps! That's the kind of thing that could turn the momentum around!! Gunner slowly gets up, then walks over to Hoff, who is still out on the mat. Rather than try a cover, Gunner pulls Hoff up again and scoops him, setting Hoff on top of his right shoulder! Gunner walks to the buckle, then turns to face the ring, pointing one finger into the air! COLE Gunner Sharps looking for his running powerslam...WAIT! Gunner charges, but Hoff slips off the backside and lands on his hands and knees! Gunner turns, but Hoff pops up and grabs Gunner, whipping him into the corner!! As Gunner hits, Hoff dashes to the opposite corner and raises one finger of his own in the air! The crowd goes crazy as Hoff sprints forward, leaps, and hits Gunner with the STINGER SPLASH!! COLE WOW! Out of nowhere, Hoff has shifted the tide right back!! Gunner stumbles out of the corner and falls, landing face-first near the ropes. Hoff walks around Gunner's massive body, moving to his feet...and applies an ANKLELOCK! The fans cheer as Hoff wrenches on Gunner's right ankle!! COLE The anklelock from Hoff! We saw him use this on Drek Stone at Anglemania IV, but it wasn't on long enough to make much difference! Will tonight be a different story? CABOOSE Don't think so! Indeed, as Gunner screams in pain, he manages to crawl forward the short distance and reach the bottom rope. Referee Robinson starts a five-count, and Hoff gives the ankle one more twist before finally letting go. The fans applaud the maneuver as Hoff walks over to Gunner, picking the larger man up off the canvas and hooking him around the midsection! Hoff pops the hips and sends Gunner overhead with a beautiful belly-to-belly suplex that pops the crowd! COACH You know, most people get hurt even THINKING about suplexing Gunner Sharps. Hoff does it no sweat! COLE Hoff has a lot of power, and he's been in control of most of this matchup. Keep in mind, we have seen last year that Hoff is capable of hitting the Angle Award-winning Future Shock on Gunner! CABOOSE Bah. We'll see how long he can keep this up. Hoff crawls over to Gunner and attempts a lateral press, but Gunner powers out at TWOOOO! Hoff gets to his feet and grabs Gunner again, pulling him up and hooking his waist again. Hoff tucks his head underneath Gunner's arm and rears back again...but this time, Gunner resists!! CABOOSE Aha, see? Not so easy as it looks! Gunner uses his weight advantage to try to stop Hoff from throwing him overhead...but with a guttural roar, Hoff arches his back and takes Gunner over with a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!! The crowd cheers, although Hoff isn't able to keep the bridge applied, instead favoring his own back a little. COLE Hoff giving it everything he has in there! CABOOSE Yeah, but you have to wonder how wise it is to hurt yourself for any reason! COLE Good point, but nonetheless, Hoff is definitely wearing Gunner down! Hoff crawls over to his foe and hooks a leg, getting a LOOOOONG two-count before Gunner gets his shoulder up. Hoff gets off of Gunner, spending a moment on his knees to catch his breath before standing and pulling Gunner up with him. Hoff grabs Gunner by the hair and pulls him forward, hooking him in a front facelock position! The fans cheer as Hoff looks out across them, then throws Gunner's arm over his own neck! COACH One more time, playas! Hoff grabs the waist of Gunner and tries to lift him...but can't do it! Hoff sets and tries it again, but Gunner quickly stops it with a knee to the midsection! Hoff doubles over in pain, allowing Gunner to slip free and grabs Hoff from behind! Gunner scoops Hoff up alongside of him, and drops him with a sidewalk slam! The fans boo as Gunner leans into the cover! ONE! TWO! NO!! Hoff kicks out, but grabs his back in pain! CABOOSE This has been the pattern with these two since last year. Hoff tries to do too much to impress these people, instead of actually wrestling, and if you ask me, it's why Hoff lost the 24/7 title to this very man last year. Gunner gets up slowly, still hurting, and looks down at Hoff with anger. Gunner levels a few stomps to Hoff, sending jeers through the crowd, who Gunner then flips off to an even bigger negative reaction. Gunner bends over and picks Hoff up off the mat, then violebtly THROWS Hoff into the ropes! Clumsily, Hoff hits the strands, then comes bounding back out...RIGHT INTO A BIG BOOT FROM GUNNER!! Hoff hts the mat hard, not moving as Gunner raises both his arms in triumph. The fans boo, and Gunner gives them an angry look, before shouting "THAT'S IT!!!!" at the people. COACH Oh no, this is it!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! CABOOSE Calm down, moron! Gunner's just giving us all what we came here to see: Hoff's broken ribs!! COLE Gunner Sharps is now poised to deliver that vicious strike, that spear, that he calls the Sharp End!! Indeed, Gunner paces to a corner opposite of Hoff's position and crouches down, waving Hoff up! The fans scream, desparately trying to warn their hero of the oncoming danger, but Hoff seems oblivious as he slowly gets to his feet! Hoff holds his back as he turns...and gets HIT WITH THE-- NO!! Hoff SIDESTEPS, sending Gunner flying right past him!! The fans cheer as Gunner turns around...RIGHT INTO A SPINEBUSTER!!! "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!" Hoff hits the spinebuster, and in the blink of an eye grabs Gunner by the ankle! Hoff pulls Gunner to the middle of the ring, flips him over, and applies the ANKLELOCK once again!! Gunner claws at the mat, trying to break free!! COLE What a combo!! Hoff's trademark spinebuster, right into that anklelock!! CABOOSE Come on, Gunner, get to the ropes!! Gunner howls in pain as Robinson checks for a submission, but Gunner shakes his head! Meanwhile, Hoff is TWISTING at the right ankle of Gunner, SCREAMING for him to tap out, drawing a HUGE cheer from the fans!! Gunner tries to claw his way to the ropes, crawling...but Hoff PULLS HIM AWAY!! Hoff torques the ankle violently AND GUNNER TAPS!! *ding ding ding ding ding* CABOOSE WHAT?! COLE YEAH!! The fans go NUT as "The Clincher" hits, but Hoff won't let go of the hold! Finally, with one last twist, Hoff throws Gunner's ankle to the ground, then smiles as Robinson raises his arm!! FINKEL The winner of this contest....HOFF!!!!!!!!!! Hoff looks down at Gunner as the huge man grabs at his right ankle, pulling it close to him. Mostly as a precaution, EMTs come to the ring, getting in as Hoff steps toward Gunner. Hoff leans down and whispers something in Gunner's ear, then hops out of the ring, slapping hands with the fans at ringside while his music plays. COLE Well we saw something new tonight, guys! COACH You damn right! Before this, the Coach had never seen three guys make out with a monkey! CABOOSE Yeah, and-- NO!! The anklelock, fool! COACH Oh, right. But seriously, I had never seen that before. COLE In any event, the anklelock has done the damage here tonight, and it's possible that, if this becomes a regular part of his arsenal, Hoff could become even MORE dangerous. CABOOSE Bah, this means nothing. I'll take the Crystalling over the anklelock any day, and so will Crystal in ten days at Living Anglelously. Gunner gets up under his own power, limping, but shooing the EMTs away. Obviously still in pain, Gunner glares down at Hoff, who stands proud at the top of the ramp, smiling. COLE Well a hell of a match, guys, but word is we've got some commotion backstage! We go backstage to the Chicks Over Dicks locker room. The entire area looks like it got walloped by a hurricane. Strewn about the room are soda cans, clothes, wrestling tights, magazines, newspapers and glue bottles. A lot of glue bottles. In the center of the spectacular mess sits Alix Spezia and Maya Myrick-Blanchard, the loveable 5-year-old daughter of Ned Blanchard and Krista Myrick (aka Krista Isadora Duncan). Alix sports a grey shirt that reads "I HATE MY GIRLFRIEND" in big bold letters.The two are engaged in heated war of Children’s Trivial Pursuit. MAYA Okay, Aunt Alix. I’m winning big time. Maya giggles, then takes a sip of her Cheery Kool-Aid Jammer. Because we care about our sponsers! ALIX Yeah, well, we’ll see if you’re laughing after I tell you your mom said you were a mistake. Maya looks down, shaking gently, she prepares a deep throated and sorrowful cry. ALIX Ah, jeez, I shouldn’t have said that. (smacks self on head) Stupid Alix. I mean, its true -- about your mother saying you were a mistake, not me being stupid, although I sometimes get the feeling people think that about me, which kinda hurts. But I shouldn’t have said it. I’m a bad loser. Let's keep playing. Next question. MAYA Okay. Next question! What was the name of the main male character in a Roald Dahl book about a chocolate factory owned by Willy Wonka? ALIX Crap! Why do I always get the hard questions? Is it...um I dunno....Mark Henry? He was Sexual Chocolate, ya know. He banged his sister. No? Gimme a hint. MAYA It starts with Char and ends with lie! ALIX What the hell kinda sucky hint is that? I’ll never get it now! As Alix continues to complain about the difficulty of her trivia, the door swings open and NARCISSISTIC NED BLANCHARD enters the room, strutting. No kidding. He’s unaware that his daughter who he hasn’t seen in a year is present. MAYA Daddy! NED Huh? Maya runs to her father and leaps into his arms. Caught totally off guard, he’s barely able to catch her. NED Um....uh...uh...hi. Hey, umm...Mar..no..uh...Mind....uh...hey you... Ned looks to Alix with pleading eyes, hoping that she’ll clue him on his child’s name. Smirking slightly, Alix mouths the word “Maya”. NED Hey, Maya! How are you? Your mom told me you’d be in Malibu... MAYA Yay, Zack! He's cute. NED No, Mayo. The city, not the wrestler. MAYA (giggling) No, silly -- Maya. M-A-Y-A. Maya! NED Now you listen here, young lady. Don't you get smart with-- Maya kisses Ned on the nose. MAYA Maya make daddy happy! ALIX Awwwww. If I didn't hate you, Ned, I would think that was the cutest thing. NED Shut up! (to Maya) Look, kiddo, I thought you were in Malibu, the city, with your mother's sister. God, what I wouldn't give to hit that. But I guess she lied <just like she lied about being on the pill> Hey, I have an idea! If you go down the hallway and look to your left you’ll see a door with two “H”s written on it in big red letters. Inside are two of daddy’s best friends! Why don't you go give them a visit. And remember, the guy wearing the mask really likes his tummy rubbed! Maya gives Ned a thumbs up then scurries out of the room, but not before Alix stops her. ALIX Here, honey. (Alix pulls out a STUN GUN) Just in case. MAYA Thanks, Aunt Alix. Maybe I'll go past Tony and zap Brannigan. Heh. Ned watches Maya exit. NED Jesus Christ, I knew I should’ve offered to pay for more then five percent of the abortion. This child support shit is wrecking my bank account. I’m not Zack Malibu, man, I don’t get paid three hundred grand to wrestle for five minutes. I’m apart of one of the most legendary tag team franchises ever -- which I'm the star of -- and I have one of the most talented minds this business has ever known, but this mess has gone to far. She’s a best selling author who’s got her stupid little exercise videos and self help books plastered all over QVC, GNC, Amazon.com, HSN, those other crappy home shopping channels, everywhere! I don’t even get Amazon. I get “404 Operation Timed Out because your computer sucks” Krista is loaded--and unfortunately I loaded my program into her years ago -- but hot damn if I don't know how to get a hot broad into the sack! Hell, she used to do personal training for Oprah. Oprah! She falls off the wagon more than my Uncle Sam. But I still have to pay child support? Tell me how that makes any sense. She said “William”, because she liked to roleplay that I was William Shakespeare and she was my sexual muse, “thou doth not concern thyself, for I taketh the pill.” I swallowed something to, but it wasn’t a pill. It was her bullshit. She lied and now I’m stuck with some snot nosed brat running around with my name. Hyphenated at that. Coulda been worse. Her mother could of been Mexican and had like 15 last names. But, still. Krista couldn’t even do me the courtesy of letting me have someone to carry on the Blanchard name. She had to bastardize my last name. ALIX Um...can somebody say issues?! NED Oh, great, didn’t know you were still here. Sorry. On second thought, I'm kinda glad you're still here. You’ve known Krista since you were a teenager, you must have even more against her then I do. ALIX Uh-huh. Don’t try to get into my head, dude. I’m going to start calling you Cameron Diaz, because you’re tripping! And I’m gonna make like I’m Cameron and you’re a paparazzi and knock you o-u-t! NED Hey, no need to get on a man like that. I just came to chat, maybe take a stroll down memory lane. Is it a punishable offense to try and have a little conversation with a girl I’ve known since before my boy W’s first term? I remember when all three of us -- Krista, me and you -- would hang out and Krista would criticize you non stop while I tried to find ways for us to have a threesome. I’d tell Krista that she needed to cool it and leave you alone, but she’d say “Shut up, Ned! You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m helping her.” It sounded more to me like she was hurting you. But then again, what do I know? ALIX Hopefully the location of the door! NED Is she still criticizing you? ALIX Maybe so, maybe no. What do you care, anyway? NED Would I ask if I didn't care? Huh? ALIX Well..it’s nothing. But I don’t know. She’s on my case a whole bunch about a lot of stupid stuff. You know how she is. You can try and try and try, but she’s always wanting more. It’s like no matter how hard you work, it’s never good enough. Ya know, I never tell anyone that because they always think I’m jealous because she’s better looking. But I’m not jealous. I don’t care if people think she's prettier. I just want to be able to live my life and not have to worry about how she’s going to react. NED That sucks. You gotta stay true to yourself no matter what she says. I did. She dumped me. Pretty honest, huh? C’est la vie. Do you miss it? ALIX Miss what? She hasn’t stopped picking on me. NED I’m not talking about Krista anymore. I’m talking about being with a man. Not a boy, who’s perpetrating as a man, but an honest to god real man's man. Digging your nails into his back so far you’ve got his blood creeping onto your finger tips, wrapping those velvet smooth tan legs of yours around his muscular neck, those beautiful breast bouncing up and down, screaming and moaning, growling at him to do you harder, just loving everything he’s doing to your body. Tell me you don’t miss that. ALIX No, I don’t. But you must’ve missed that hint I dropped about you heading to the door. Not like you weren’t before, but you’re being really creepy. And that comb over doesn’t help your case. You’re going bald, live with it! NEXT! Ned nervously readjusts his comb over. Satisifed with his apperance he returns to his usual cool as an Eskimo state. NED Don’t be like that, girl. I admit I’m a bastard. But I love the lesbos, honestly. ALIX I thought you were super uptight about those things? NED Just because I'm a red stater doesn't mean I'm hard to the core. I don't know you people getting married, but I like me a little girl-on-girl. Although the thought of Rosie O'Donnell eating or being eaten -- ugh! Just gimme a chance. A chance to get you in my bed, me lovingly taking in every inch of your perfect naked body, my silk sheets rubbing against your soft skin, whispering sweet prophecies of ecstasy, you savoring the divine feelings my hands, mouth, tongue and everything else on my body is giving you, legs trembling, begging for it to never end. I can get rid of that spirit of a lesbain. An orgasm in 5 seconds. ALIX You're saying you can give a woman an orgasm in 5 seconds? How? NED By staring at her. ALIX (laughing) Oh, come on. NED Really. ALIX Okay. Do it. Give me an orgasm. NED Right here, right now? ALIX Yes. Unless you can't. Don't tell me, camera shy? NED I'm a star in front of the camera. Ned stares into Alix's eyes. She starts squirming, breathing heavily, a faint moan. She closes her eyes and begins trembling, her moans become louder. NED But, if you’d rather spend your Friday night watching Finding Nemo for the millionth time with Maya and Krista be my guest. Alix opens her eyes. ALIX Whycha stop? NED Free sample. You want the rest, let's make a date and don't be late. Unless, of course, you don't want to. But that’d really too bad, because I always kind of thought you were much better looking then Krista. ALIX Really?! NED (knowing he's gotten to Alix) Oh, sure. Krista’s conventionally beautiful, but she’s so empty. Not like you. You’re everything. Inside and outside. I could get lost in you for days. You’re unique. Special. There isn’t another person like you and there probably never will be. In..a perfect world there wouldn’t be you or I. There would just be us. ALIX (blushing) Well, we live in the same city, ya know. I mean...you’re like right off Rodeo and so am I, so it’s not like it would hurt to stop by and maybe say hi, or something, ya know. That’s all though! None of this moaning and ecstasy prophecies, mister. I mean if you have E, I’ll take it. But I prefer my magic markers and glue guns. Neddy Bear picks up a clipboard and hands it to Alix along with a pen with a girl at the tip whose clothes fall down when placed upside down. NED Look, why don't you write down your number here and maybe we'll get together this weekend. ALIX I don't know. I don't think Krista would like that. NED Oh, come on. Who's she, your mother? ALIX Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, what harm is there with a dinner and a movie. NED Or a trip to the library. ALIX Huh? NED I said that would be lovely. So go ahead and write your number. It'll help if you also write your name next to the dotted X. So many women give me their numbers that I lose track of who's who, you know. But you're different. You have a special quality to you. Alix isn’t really paying attention and just signs away. NED Thanks, Al. You have no idea how happy you just made me. (reads clipboard, smiles) Love the way you put a little heart on top of your "i's." Very cute. (touching the bridge of Alix's nose) Like you. ALIX (smiling) I like to please my adoring fans! NED Oh, you pleased me. Ned bids Alix farewell and walks out of the room. As the front door closes, the door to shower opens, revealing Krista Isaodra Duncan clad in only a bath towel. Of course the fans pop. KRISTA Hey, Alix, where’s Maya? ALIX Um, she’s playing with Macho Man. They both read at an eighth grade level! Oh, yeah! KRISTA Then who were you just talking to? ALIX Nobody. Nopers. Nobody. No one. Yep. I mean, no. KRISTA Alix. Unlike those fools on Monday nights, I'll watch the tape of tonight's show to see if you're lying. ALIX Oh, all right. Ned. KRISTA Ned? My Ned? ALIX Well, he isn't your Ned now. KRISTA Figure of speech, Alix. What did he want? Did he want to know if I had changed my mind about putting the Tag Titles on the line at Living Angleously? Tell the bastard the answer's still no! ALIX Actually, he asked me on a date. KRISTA WHAT?! You said no, right? (pause for Alix's answer, none) Alix, you did say no? Alix lowers her head. KRISTA Oh, Alix! How could you? He's probably up to some trick. The "Handsome Hustler," remember? ALIX Well, he didn't actually ask me on a date, per se, but he did ask me for my number so we could possibly get together sometime. He was really sweet, Krista. You should of seen the interaction between him and Maya. It kinda makes me understand why Britney wanted a baby so bad. The door opens. Maya walks in with JINGUS' MASK. MAYA Mommy! Krista lifts her up. KRISTA Oh, baby. I'm glad you're okay. I'm sorry for leaving you with Aunt Alix. MAYA Look at what I got, mommy. (dangling the mask in Krista's face) A mask, like Hawkgirl. Krista and Alix glance at one another. *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 COACH So that's when I tell him, get this, 'get your hands out of my popcorn machine!' COLE Ha! Ha! Ha! My lord! CABOOSE I have no idea what you're talking about, guys, but we're back on the air. COACH *ahem* of course, Caboose! The punchline was the perfect lead-in for the special segment we have up next. COLE As you may have heard from our Executive Vice President, Bill Watts, at Anglemania Four, the OAOAST is opening up its very own film division. COACH The process has been underway for quite a few months, but we kept it on the DL until things got finalized. COLE As a matter of fact, the very first film just finished shooting, and is in post-production as we speak! CABOOSE Anyone I'da heard of? COLE Quite a bit, as you'll see in a second. Dudes and mistresses, the film is called "House of Fire", and it's directed by Michael Mann, the man behind "Heat" and "Collateral". We caught some behind the scenes footage, and we think you'll like who the star of the film is. CUT TO: A Hollywood sound stage MICHAEL MANN (Off-screen) Action! Two Hollywood police-types storm past the camera down a hallway, guns loaded. One kicks down a door and they enter the room... COMING FACE TO FACE WITH "THE SUPERSTAR" JAMES ALLAN! ALLAN I've been waiting for you two. The Superstar, gun in hand, pistol-whips one cop, who falls to the floor. He kicks the other cop in the gut to double him over, and then knees him in the face to send him down and out. MANN Cut! Good. CUT TO: An interview MANN We needed a guy with the right look. The main character is a hard-ass ex-cop with a vendetta against the police force that screwed him. When the OAOAST came to us and proposed financing the film, we couldn't resist. Not just for the money, but because we had a whole new wealth of talent to choose from. Various shots of The Superstar in action flash across the screen as Mann continues. MANN Not only is James Allan a pleasure to work with, but he does his own stunts and knows what the hell he's doing in there. Now, clips of a Superstar interview are shown. ALLAN I'm having the time of my life out here in Hollywood. I needed a year or so to sort things out, but now I'm back and I'm feeling at the top of my game. Is it wrestling? Not quite. But the training sure is helping. A shot from the movie shows Allan nailing a goon in the head with a Thai Roundhouse Kick. ALLAN And did you know that Uwe Boll was the original director signed to do this movie? I guess the studio actually wanted the movie to be good, so they called Michael Mann. More clips. ALLAN I think the best part is co-starring with Thomas Haden Church, who is my enemy in the film. Oh, and I get to have sex with Natalie Portman. All's good. Now, some shots of The Superstar in the OAOAST are shown. Notably, the Joy of X match at Anglemania IV. ALLAN Anglemania? Fun time. I saw it as an opportunity to get my face out there again. Pre-promotion. Will I be back wrestling again for the OAOAST? The Superstar smiles. ALLAN Never say never. CUT TO: Sofa Central CABOOSE Bullshit. Drek Stone should've gotten that part. COACH Who? CABOOSE And what's with all of the negativity towards Uwe Boll? I didn't think "Alone in the Dark" was that bad. COACH So you're the one person who saw it! CABOOSE As long as Supes doesn't come on the show to promote the movie... COLE Folks, "House of Fire" premieres worldwide April 29th! CABOOSE And we're just hearing about it now? Ha. It's gonna bomb. COACH I guess we'll really see if The Superstar truly does have any star power!! Beat. CABOOSE Rimshot. COLE And Caboose, your fears are coming true -- The Superstar will be here LIVE next week on HeldDOWN to promote "House of Fire"! CABOOSE He's a sellout! What happened to The Superstar I knew and loved? COACH I'm likin' him! CABOOSE I'm not surprised. COLE Well folks, one man many people don't like is The 70's Dude, but he's about to join us right now! *A camera focuses in on the ring where a large photo of Calvin Szechstein stands on a tripod in-between two smaller tripods that hold up funeral wreaths.* Cole: I don’t think I even want to be a part of what’s about to occur. Caboose: Well Cole it was this or another PRL interview. Szechstein’s career is already dead, no reason to have the crowd suffer the same fate. *The camera focuses on the entrance way and as it does so the groovey sounds of KC & The Sunshine band hit the loud speakers signaling to the fans who’s about to make their way out. The 70s Dude walks out in an old black suit and some black shades with his hair actually tied back. The two women that were seen with him last week flank him. Each woman is wearing a 70’s style short black dress with black veils covering their face. They each hold a single red rose and walk down to the ring alongside The 70s Dude.* Coach: I just… I don’t know what to say about any of this. Caboose: Don’t say anything. This is a celebration of sorts. I’m glad to see guys like Szechstein who have no business being in the ring anymore sent home by one of our great and rising stars. It’s comforting to know I don’t need to stay active and carry this company on my shoulders again. *The fans scream obscenities at The Dude as the two ladies sit on the middle ring rope to allow him and easier time of getting in. As The 70s Dude grabs a mic from the ring announcer, the two women lay their roses on the mat in front of the large photo. Afterwards they meet The Dude in the middle of the ring and stand at his side once more.* The 70s Dude: Two weeks ago at Anglemania I took on the former OAOAST Champion Calvin Szechstein. *the fans pop over the mentioning of Cal* I didn’t take him on in just any match, no! Josie could have picked from any list of matches. Strap match, Dog Collar match, Cage match, hell she could have put us in a REO Speedwagon Album on a poll match! What does she do though? She puts The Dude in one of the most brutal matches a person can go through…a Texas Death Match. She thought that maybe Cal could put The Dude down, but she saw, and you saw that not only did he fail to get the job done *The Dude pauses briefly as the fans boo loudly* but The Dude sent him to the Glue Factory! I’m not heartless though and I know that for whatever reason there are a lot of Calvin fans still out there, so lets all hang our heads and take a moment to remember whatever it is that Calvin did. *The Dude lowers his head and the two women flanking him do the same. Some fans boo while others just look around waiting for Calvin to possibly show up and end this…what they get though is Jungle Boogie blasted over the loud speakers sending them all to their feet in a massive cheer. The Dude looks up at the entrance way and its quite apparent by the expression on his face that he doesn’t take too kindly to being interrupted.* Rodez: You know, last week when I saw you sitting there next to those two women I just got the feeling that I had seen them before. Now you know, and I know, and Miami certainly knows *massive pop* that Leon has partied with a lot of women. Still, something stood out on these two and then I remembered this film I did a few years back when everything was going retro and the 70s seemed to be popular again…well for 15 min anyways. *The Dude has a growing scowl on his face* Rodez: Anyways, so I was doing this movie and…well, why don’t you take a look for yourself *The Dude looks up to the AngleTron along with the fans while TVs across whatever countries this is shown in clip to a black screen before the words “Saturday Night Beaver” are displayed in large and colorful letters. Slowly the sounds of “Staying Alive” by the Bee Gees starts up and we see the black shoes of somebody who’s walking down the street.* Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk (camera slowly pans up the man’s legs to reveal tight-white bellbottoms) I'm a woman's man, no time to talk. (camera slowly pans up more to show the man is wearing a white button up shirt with the top unbuttoned to show off his muscular chest) Music loud and women warm. (finally the camera makes it up to the man’s face and we see its Leon Rodez strutting down the street) I've been kicked around since I was born. (A look of Leon from the right as he continues strutting) And now it's all right, it's O.K. (Same look but this time from the left) And you may look the other way. (Leon flashes a big smile as a woman walks by him and eyes him up and down) We can try to understand (Leon catches an apple from a friendly vender and takes a big bite from it) The New York Times' effect on man (As Leon chews he hands the rest of the apple to some guy who just looks at him in confusion) *The camera then pans to what appears to be a quiet living room of some apartment where the two women sharing the ring with The 70s Dude are seated and holding a small conversation. The two women are suddenly surprised as the door to the room is opened with great force and Leon Rodez stands there. The Bee Gees once again play.* Ah, ha, ha, ha…Staying Alive!!!!!! (Leon Rodez does that pose that Travolta did and as he does so his pants fall to the floor. Leon Jr. is tiled out but its apparent the mass of flesh hangs to at least the middle of his upper leg before the kneecap. The two women look over in great delight and as they do the footage stops) *cameras take us back into the arena where The Dude is standing there in complete shock next to the two women who’s faces have turned a bright shade of red.* Cole: Wow! Caboose: You might want to wipe up that drool coming down your chin there Michael *Suddenly The Dude erupts in anger and picks up one of the tripods and starts smashing it into the canvas. The women leave the ring scared of what he might do and the cameras focus on Leon at the top who’s flashing a big grin before HeldDown~ cuts to a commercial break* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 As we return to the ring, there's a table on it, with a clipboard on that. Next to the table is a Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the ring at this time - the Love Doctors! "Calling Dr. Love" plays, and Max and Steve walk down to the ring wearing matching green tights and trademark white coats. The Docs get a decent reaction from the crowd, and they slap a few hands on their way down to the ring, which they enter, smiling confidently. Max gets himself a microphone. MAX Well, for all those watching last week, you know why we're here. So there's no point wasting time. We have here a contract for a match at Living Angleously. Hell's Hitmen vs Love Doctors 3. Hitmen, come out and sign it. The Docs look towards the entrance way, determined looks on their faces. COLE The Docs calling out the Hitmen...I don't know if that's such a good idea. CABOOSE Especially as they have to be smarting from their defeat at the hands of Zack and Some Guy last week. Cue: "Hit Me Verdi One More Time" Out walk the HIYAH tag champs, titles slung over their massive shoulders. A child at ringside waves a Zack Malibu action figure in the air. JINGUS snatches it from him and swallows it whole, then belches monstrously in the face of the child's father as he protests. COACH Oh my god! He just swallowed a seven inch doll whole! COLE Wow, I wonder what else he could swa - pzzzz CABOOSE For the good of the nation, I have disconnected and destroyed Cole's mic. The Hitmen climb into the ring, glaring menacingly at the Docs, who look a touch nervous but don't back down at all. JINGUS looks down at the table with the contract on. COACH Oh my god! He's going to eat the contract! CABOOSE Er, I think he only ate the Zack doll because he lost to him last week, not because he's a compulsive eater. COACH Oh. I thought he was hungry. The Devilman grabs a microphone from a roadie at ringside. JINGUS Did you see the show last week, boys? Did you? Did you see us take two greats like Malibu and Some Guy to the limit? And what exactly made you think you could do the same? STEVE Sure we saw. It was a pretty good match. But you LOST, Devilman. We've got a lot of respect for your team. We've felt your strength. But you're not unbeatable...well, you actually get beaten quite a lot. In fact, you get beaten almost as often as the Nerdlys! The crowd "ooooo!"s a little at this put down. JINGUS and Sadist look at each other, disbelieving smiles on their faces. JINGUS An interesting tactic. Perhaps you're trying to get us angry, so we'll sign your stupid contract? Well...we have a little test for you. Out to the ring walks the 6ft, muscular, leather clad brunette woman who some viewers may remember as the woman adminstering a spanking to the Sadist with his HIYAH tag title belt after they won the straps. She is carrying a bag and pushing a wheelchair. In the wheelchair, gagged and bound, is Love Doctor's associate Dr. Feelgood, Ima Hoe. JINGUS Allow us to introduce our friend Jypan. She's big, strong, and has NEVER had sex with Sean Waltman. Jypan stops the wheelchair and carries Dr. Feelgood into the ring. She struggles but is no match for the strength of the Hitmen's floozy. The Docs make to intervene, but JINGUS and Sadist block them off. JINGUS Easy boys. We've got to explain the rules of this test for you. Jypan drops Dr. Feelgood in the corner and from the bag pulls out a huge, lethal looking syringe - and injects a blue fluid into Ima Hoe! The crowd shrieks a little at this! COACH Oh my God! What did she just do to her?! CABOOSE This segment is weird. The Docs make to attack again, but the Devilman interupts. JINGUS Wait. Attack us, and your Dr. Feelgood is going to suffer. She's just been injected with a virus that we managed to procure from - well, let's just say, some pretty f-bleep-d up people. The Hitmen pause, and then reach forward to sign the contract brought by the Docs. Crowd pops for this. JINGUS gives the contract to Jypan, who goes into the bag once more and brings out a bottle of fluid. She douses the clipboard with it. COLE *sniff sniff* That's gas! Are they going to burn down the ring?! Get the firefighters! Quick! Big, naked firefighters! CABOOSE How did your mic get back on? COLE Some kinda deus ex machina! CABOOSE Don't get smart with me, you...you...homo! COLE Lame. The Docs are looking incredibly confused. MAX Tell us what you've done to her, you freak! JINGUS Simple. I wanted to test you to see what's more important - your wrestling careers, or your friends. Then we'll know if you really pose a threat to our titles. The virus that has infected Dr. Feelgood will start to take effect in around 2 minutes. It has some rather nasty effects. There is antidote in the bag. Jypan drops it at the Doc's feet with a cruel smile. JINGUS Unfortunately, in 2 minutes Jypan will set fire to the contract you want so badly. JINGUS steps in front of Jypan. Sadist steps in front of Ima Hoe. JINGUS The two of you could probably team up to get past one of us and either save Ima, or the contract. Individually - you know you don't stand a chance. So. Which will it be? One and a half minutes, Docs. COACH This is really twisted! The Docs have to save Ima! CABOOSE No way. They can easily get another cheap sidekick. They need that contract for their careers. COLE Can the Hitmen even be trusted? There's no way to know if they're telling the truth! The Docs stare at each other, and then at the sweating, glassy eyed Dr. Hoe. They nod and take a couple of steps towards the Sadist in front of her. Sadie rubs his hands. COLE That's right, they have to save Ima. Although maybe I could be their new valet. I'd look fabulous in a nurses uniform. The Docs go into a fight stance and prepare to rush Sadie - but suddenly Max Anderson gets something out of the pocket of his white coat, and sprays it into the face of Sadist! The big freak screams and drops to the mat, clutching his eyes, allowing Steve to grab the antidote, leap over him and administer it to Ima! COLE He just maced him! COACH You recognise that, huh? COLE It really hurts... As Pigley acts, Max turns to JINGUS with the spray, but JINGUS hits his hand, knocking it away. Jypan has a lighter in her hand and is about to burn up the contract. The Devilman lunges at Anderson and grabs him into a bearhug. Jypan struggles to get the lighter working. Steve Pigley turns and dives through the legs of both JINGUS and Max, coming up in front of Jypan, who swings the clipboard at him! Steve ducks and Jypan clocks JINGUS hard on the back of the head with it! JINGUS releases Anderson, as Pigley grabs the clipboard from Jypan and then clotheslines her out over the top rope to the floor. Max gets Ima out of the ring, putting her over his shoulder and making a hasty exit with Steve, who holds up the contract and nods triumphantly at JINGUS, glowering in the ring. COACH Wow, the Docs escaped the Hitmen's evil plot with both contract and Dr. Feelgood intact! COLE It looks like we will have that match, at Living Angleously! CABOOSE The Hitmen shouldn't have tried to be super-villains or whatever. They should have just beaten the Docs up. That's how these contract signings are supposed to work. COLE Well the Docs were heroes there! And my Cole-sense is telling me its time for something else to happen? COACH Cole-sense? COLE Like Spider-sense. CABOOSE You mean gaydar. COLE NO. DAMMIT. I have a wife and kids! Why must I play this demeaning role every single awful week! CABOOSE Hey, you were right! It is time for something else! COLE I'm so unhappy. The cameras cut to the trainer's room in the back, where Gunner Sharps' ankle is being attented to. Crystal leans in the doorframe, watching on. CRYSTAL So how's your ankle? GUNNER It's fine. TRAINER It's not fine! That wasn't Brickhead or whoever in there, it was HOFF! He has like fifty-six inch arms!! CRYSTAL Roider. TRAINER Listen, I need to take a closer look-- GUNNER If you don't leave I'll break you in half. The trainer, weighing his options, decides discretion might be the better part of valor and bails, leaving the datsardly duo alone. CRYSTAL So, what did he say to you, afterwards? GUNNER He said-- Gunner grits his teeth as he adjusts his right boot. GUNNER He said to tell you that "you're next." The fans cheer as Crystal's eyes bug out a bit, but she quickly masks that with an angry expression. CRYSTAL So, he did, did he? Well, we'll see about that. I think next week, we oughta send him a message of our own. Crystal and Gunner give an evil, comic-book laugh as we head to the ring! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. CUE: Dirty Deeds by AC/DC BUFFER Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 330 pounds, this is JUMBOOOOOOO. Jumbo walks down the aisle, a stoic look on his face as the fans around ringside boo and yell things at him (mostly variations of “You suck!”). He steps over the top rope to enter the ring and removes his leather biker jacket. COLE Folks, Jumbo has continued to try to make inroads into the OaOAST by himself ever since his “associate” Chris Stevens was put on the injured list a few weeks ago. COACH Of course, he’s failed in every attempt. Actually, Jumbo was specifically requested by his opponent tonight. CUE: Oh Hell Yeah by H-Blocx “YEAHHHHHHHHH” The house lights go out and blue strobes pulse with the opening guitar of the song before going into a full strobe when the baseline starts. Peter Knight steps through the curtain to a big ovation as the first verse of the song begins. People think they know me Say I’m wound a little tight Tell me I go looking for trouble That I’m always ready for a fight BUFFER And his opponent, from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at 260 pounds, Peterrrrrrrrrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiiiight! COLE PK surprised all of us by returning last week and completely laying out Prince Killings who, by the way, we have not seen or heard from AT ALL this past week. And, like my colleague said, PK asked to face Jumbo for his first match because, as he told me earlier, he wants to show that he hasn’t spent his time off sitting on his ass eating Doritos. PK steps into the ring and flexes his arms and neck, getting himself loose. *DING DING* The two men circle before locking up. PK quickly goes behind Jumbo and picks his foot, causing Jumbo to flail his arms and fall to the mat, completely surprised. PK jumps to his feet and *WHACK* delivers a hard kick to Jumbo’s right shoulder; *WHACK* and another. Jumbo clutches his arm as he slowly gets to his feet, but PK is right there, wringing the arm and driving the point of his elbow into the shoulder once, twice, three times before whipping him off the ropes. Jumbo tries a clothesline on the rebound, but PK ducks it and drops down, allowing Jumbo to hit the ropes again and take him down with a drop toe hold, again Jumbo flailing his arms while he falls. COLE PK seems a lot quicker than he was before. Knight has spent a lot of time in cage fighting events since he was seen last here, so apparently he’s been working on a whole new ring strategy. PK stretches the arm on the mat and lifts his body up in a vertical position, coming down and driving his knee into the shoulder, keeping it there and pulling the arm back, bending the shoulder a way Nature didn’t want it to be bent. CABOOSE This big idiot had no idea what was coming, did he? More time planning for your opponent and less at the nacho stand, Tubby. PK pulls Jumbo up and keeps the arm in a wringer, but Jumbo thumbs him in the eye, sending PK back and freeing him. He uses his good arm to lay in a couple of clubbing blows before trying to whip him into the corner, but Knight reverses and charges in after him. Jumbo sidesteps out of the way, the momentum sending Knight hard into the corner. He bounces off and turns around…. *SMACK* “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh” Getting a big boot to the mouth. Jumbo covers. 1…. 2…..Shoulder up. Jumbo drags Knight up by the head and goes to pick him up for a bodyslam, but the right arm gives him trouble, so he shows off his power and uses his left arm only to send PK crashing to the mat. He slowly bounds off the rope and *WHUMP* drops a leg across his throat. He covers again. 1…. 2….kickout. CABOOSE This isn’t a new Knight; I’ve seen this guy get his ass kicked enough times. “P-K” *clap clap* “P-K” *clap clap* “P-K” *clap clap* The crowd rallies behind Knight as Jumbo sets to shoot PK off the rope. He tries another big boot on the rebound, but PK slides underneath it, yanking the rug out from under Jumbo and sending him face first to the mat. He pulls him off and delivers a few shots before sending him off the rope, leaping into the air and….. *SMACK* “Yeahhhhhhhh!!” Scoring with a nice looking dropkick to the shoulder, causing Jumbo to stumble back and fall to a knee. PK quickly hooks Jumbo’s head and *BAM* takes him over with a vertical suplex, rolling himself back into an upright position and *BAM* taking him over with another, rolling once more into an upright position, taking a deep breath and bracing himself before picking him up once again and holding him there, getting a good ovation from the fans at the show of power before *SLAM* slamming him forward in a falcon arrow and hooking the leg. 1….. 2….. 3!! NOOO! COLE Jumbo barely kicked out there. PK flexes his back, trying to work out the strain of holding a 300+ pound man in the air and waits for Jumbo to get to his feet. When he does, PK kicks him in the gut and scoops him up in a fireman’s carry. But PK’s back can’t support the weight and he is forced to drop him. CABOOSE That’s the problem with slimming down; you don’t have the upper body strength you once did. PK turns back to Jumbo, but is met with a knee to the gut. Jumbo sends him off the ropes and ducks down for a backdrop, but PK vaults over him, landing behind him. He hooks Jumbo in a Russian leg sweep and takes him over and while on the mat quickly wrapping his legs around the head and right shoulder and cinching the arm, putting a lot of pressure on the socket. COLE I remember that Knight used this hold a bit before he left, and that it is very effective. Jumbo screams in pain, looking for the closest rope strand, but PK has him right in the center of the ring. Jumbo holds on, trying to slap PK’s legs off with his left hand, but that only makes PK twist the arm more. Jumbo fights the urge…. Fights it…… But…… *Taptaptaptaptap* *DING DING* “YEAHHHHHHHHHHH” BUFFER Here is your winner, Peterrrrrrr Kniiiiiight!!!!!! COLE Well, PK had a little rust, but he’s able to make his return a winning one against the big man Jumbo. COACH I like Jumbo! CABOOSE Of course you do. COLE Well fans, when we come back, it's time. CWM versus Some Guy, and it happens....NEXT!!!!!! *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 Cole Ladies and Gentleman it's time for a match that I know Caboose has been looking forward too, CWM Vs. Some Guy. Caboose CWM is going to be 0-2 since his comeback after this match because there's no in this business who knows him like Some Guy does. Coach Former Tag Team Champions, Stable mates, Best friends, now rivals, this is going to be a big match. Caboose That's the smartest thing you've ever said. Let's head to the ring. *Lights out* "I would never bother you I would never promise to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never say a word again I will crawl away for good" CWM emerges from the back to the strains of "You Know You're Right" By Nirvana as the fans bombard him with chants of "Sell out!" and "Asshole". CWM sneers at the fans and walks confidently to the ring. However he spots a fan holding a "CWM Is A Hasbeen" sign and his demeanor instantly changes and he darts forward and tears the sign out of the innocent fans hands and destroys it. Cole CWM is not a happy man. Caboose He's going to be even worse after he loses tonight. CWM climbs into the ring and mounts the turnbuckle. He starts to mouth off to the crowd, when his music is cut... "I'm just a sexy boy..." Coach Heeeeere's Some Guy! Some Guy appears on the ramp to a HUGE ovation from the Miami crowd. A "Let's Go SG!" chant quickly gathers momentum as Some Guy spins around and raising his fist in the air setting off Red, White, and Blue pyro! Cole Now that's how you make an entrance! As the smoke from the pyro clears Some Guy steps into the ring, standing in the corner across from CWM. The referee quick;y checks both men for foreign objects and then montions for the bell to be rung. *DING* Coach Here we go! Both men begin to circle each other looking for an opening that would allow him to seize an advantage. CWM darts in to try to grab a leg but Some Guy smoothly spins out of the way and as CWM raises himself up catches him in a rear wastelock and then a hammerlock taking him down to the mat by applying preassure the the back of the knee with his foot. Caboose Some Guy is showing some excellent technical Knowledge here, he knows he needs to frustrate CWM and throw him off his game. I don't think CWM was expecting a technical match. Some Guy continues wrenching the hammerlock on the mat. CWM attempts to power out, managing to get to his knees. Some Guy releases the hammerlock and with a grin pats CWM on the head as if to say "Good Boy." Coach Now that's a fast way to frustrate CWM alright, but it's also a quick way to wind up dead! An enraged CWM surges to his feet and smashes Some Guy in the face with a vicious left forearm and a kick to the gut. CWM whips Some Guy into the rops and puts his head down for a back body drop but SG flips over his back, landing on his feet. CWM quickly turns.....SOMEKI...NO! CWM drops to the mat and slithers out of the ring to regroup. Cole Some Guy almost ended the match right there guys! Some Guy pressing his advantage doesn't give CWM much time to recuperate follows him to the outside and the two men start laying in the lefts and rights as the crowd screams for blood. Caboose Some Guy should take it back to the ring, this is CWM's enviroment. As if CWM was listening he gains the advantage with an eye rake. CWM grabs Some Guy's arm and throws him into the STEEEEL steps. Some Guy's knee slams into it with a sickening thud, CWM repositions the STEEEL steps and picks up the still prone Some Guy, Suplex into the STEEEL steps! Some Guy's legs and lower back hurtle into the steps. Cole My god! He's just suplexed Some Guy right into the Steel Steps! I haven't seen that since Mankind Vs Shawn Micheals at IYH: Mindgames 96! CWM as if smelling blood quickly grabs SG and rolls him into the ring and covers him. 1... 2... NO! Some Guy gets his shoulder up in the nick of time. CWM wastes no time though and quickly goes after the injured leg, grabbing it and viciously wrenching it as Some Guy screams in agony. Caboose God Damnit! That S.O.B. is going to end Some Guy's career! Coach What are you talking about? Some Guy ain't beat yet yo. Caboose You idiot, the reason Some Guy dissapeared for so long was because he had to have major reconstructive surgery on his knee! He only told myself, Zack, and CWM and now that crazy Canuck is exploiting SG's trust! In the ring, CWM tries for a figure four but Some Guy kicks him off, SG gets to one kneww but CWM is quickly back trying to get at him. SG nails him in the stomach and then pulls himself to his feet. Some Guy lays into CWM staggering him with a hard right hand and then hooking him in for a HARD Snap SomePlex. CWM is down on the mat clutching his back as SG experimentally wiggles his leg testing it. SG comes up from behind CWM as he tries to get up...WHEELBARROW SOMEPLEX! Some Guy quickly covers... 1....... 2.... 3 NO! CWM's foot is under the ropes! Cole I can't believe it! CWM's foot at the last second moved under the ropes. I don't know wether that was him knowing where he was in the ring or an accident but it's saved him for now! A somewhat frustrated Some Guy slowly gets to his feet, backing up and crouching down waiting for CWM to get up, He runs forward for a Lariat when CWM does, but CWM ducks under and grabs him under the waist, German Su...No! SG uses his good leg to block the move. CWM tries again but is again blocked. SG hammers an elbow into CWM's head breaking free but before he can move out of danger CWM unleashes a low kick to the knee, folding SG up like an acordian! Caboose Come on SG! Shake it off! CWM still somewhat dazed from the elbow to the head grabs Some Guy's leg under his arm and pulls him into a half Boston Crab, putting incredible preassure on SG's knee. Cole A Half Boston Crab can easily tear all the ligiments in a healthy man's knee much less one who's had a previous knee injury! Maybe Some Guy should tap out and live to fight another day. Caboose Shut up you idiot. I knew CWM was a bastard but I never, and I bet Some Guy never, expected him to go after someone who was like a brother to him like this! But Some Guy won't tap, he'll live his life crippled before giving up. Indeed SG is refusing to surrender as the referee asks him. SG is screaming in pain but refuses to either say the words or tap out. He begins to claw desperatly towards the ropes, his last hope to get free. He gets within inches of the ropes and as he makes a desperate grab for the bottom rope... CWM drags him back towards the centre of the ring and reapplies the hold!! Some Guy looks like he's about to pass out but as the fans start thumping their feet to get him going he slowly postions for his right arm and then his left arm and with a last amazing effort he PUSHES out of the Half Boston Crab! Coach I can't believe it! I thought Some Guy was done there, that was amazing! Caboose I told you he wouldn't give up. He's still got a fighting chance, if he can keep CWM from applying another submission. A still shocked CWM gets to his feet and attempts to grab SG's injured leg but Some Guy lashes out with his good leg, catching CWM in the head as he bent to grab the leg. Some Guy stumbles to his feet ducking under a weak clothesline from CWM...DDT! Some Guy sensing his big chance limps as quickly as he can to the corner, scaling the ropes with great difficulty, Some Guy gets his balance as CWM is struggling to sit up, TOP ROPE ELBOW DROP! The impact shakes the ring as the crowd lurches to their feet, Some Guy drapes an arm across CWM's scarred chest. 1... 2... NO! CWM kicks out! Some Guy rolls to a sitting position and then up to his feet. He looks at the crowd as if for approval and then staggers to the corner...He's Tuning Up The Band! Caboose Some Guy's going for broke! He's going to put CWM away! If he hits it, it's over! As CWM gets up and turns toward the sound of Some Guy's stomping, Some Guy propels himself forward, SOME KI...! No, CWM's caught him by the foot....DRAGON SCREW LEGWHIP! Coach Oh my God, If Some Guy's knee wasn't destroyed before it definetly is now. CWM tries to move in for the kill but the refree pulls him away and tries to check on Some Guy. SG is rolling around in intense pain, the camera's audibly pick up the referee asking him if he's able to continue the match. CWM is stalking around the ring in the background with a dangerous smirk, his eyes on the injured Some Guy. Caboose Come On Some Guy, you've got to get up! I know you can do it! The fans sensing the problem start to at first slowly and then more rapidly stomp their feet and clap their hands, as if trying to channel energy into Some Guy. Some Guy grabs hold of the middle rope and starts to pull himself up. Caboose YES! YES! Come on! CWM's face is chalk white as Some Guy stumbles up, using the ropes. Some Guy let's go of the ropes and starts to move, but his leg collapses and he falls to the mat again!! Cole Oh no. The referee shaking his head, checks on Some Guy but Some Guy refuses to give up. The referee finally motions for the bell. Caboose He didn't give up! Some Guy did not lose this match! Ring Announcer Ladies and Gentlemen, Some Guy is unable to continue the match, so your winner is...C...W....M! (Loud boos) The referee raises CWM's hand but CWM only has eyes for SG, he starts to attack Some Guy but the referee gets in the way. CWM grabs the referee...POLLYCUTTER! Coach He can't do that! CWM grabs Some Guy and pulls him into the centre of the ring, FIGURE FOUR! Caboose He's going to end his career! CWM doesn't give a damn about friendship or even have respect for another human being's life! CWM is grinning like a maniac as he wrenches harder and harder on Some Guy, who has seemingly passed out from the pain. Caboose I can't take this anymore, I'm going to stop this. Cole Hey Caboose, wait! The fans come alive as Caboose runs down to ring to rescue Some Guy from CWM. However CWM rolls out of the ring before the OAOAST Legend can grab him. As the fans pelt CWM with garbage and insults, he raises his arm and points at Some Guy and says to the camera, "I'm not done with him yet." Cole This is disgusting, what does he mean he's not done with Some Guy?? Fans we have to go to commercial. We'll be back. *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 COLE Folks, we're back live, following the successful Peter Knight in the back... Peter Knight walks in the back, taking a swig from a bottle of water. He gets some congratulations and “Welcome back”s from people as he passes them. The camera follows him until he suddenly stops and a small smirk comes on his face. The camera pans over…..to reveal Brock Ausstin and Rick Heyross. Rick starts to speak, but Brock puts up his hand to silence him. BROCK Welcome back, Kinght. You sure surprised all of us last week by what you did to that punk and you made a bunch of people happy by shutting him up. There’s just one problem: I wasn’t one of them. You saw Anglemania; Killings embarrassed me and everyone that has ever been involved in this business. Last week I was all ready to tear that son of a bitch apart, but when I went to Josie’s office, she told me that Killings was already “taken.” KNIGHT Well, I guess you should take that up with our GM, shouldn’t you? BROCK (chuckling) See, I’m not the type of guy to settle things by talking to the suits; I like to settle any problems I have in one place: the ring. And, by the looks of things, my newest problem (he takes a step forward to go face to face with PK)….is with you stealing my thunder. KNIGHT Is that right? I’ve got only one thing to say to you, tough guy. Anytime…..anyplace. Knight backs away from Brock and walks past him, intentionally bumping into him. Brock looks at the back of Knight’s head, a very angry look on his face. *cut to Sofa Central, baby~!* COLE Brock Ausstin and Peter Knight looking to throw down! CABOOSE They have before, and I wouldn't mind seeing it again. COLE You seem awfully happy! CABOOSE That's because Zack Malibu is about to put Dan Black in his place. As the live feed comes back, we see OAOAST announcer, errand boy, and all around cool sonofabitch JOSH MATTHEWS~! standing in the center of the ring. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to see a face to face confrontation between two men with nothing but bad blood between them. While Zack Malibu and his team emerged from Anglemania 4 victorious, the vendetta that Malibu carries still lingers. Here tonight, in this ring, Zack Malibu and Dan Black will confront each other just weeks before they are set to face off in their first ever major one on one contest. "Quiet" hits, and the crowd is anything but, letting the "Ice Heart" have it as he comes out from the back. Already clad in his wrestling attire in preperation for his bout later in the evening, Dan Black welcomes the hatred of the crowd with a cocky smirk, thumbing his nose at the fans and moving into the ring, posing to the joy of nobody but himself and basking in the fact that, in his mind, he's better than all of the ticket buyers in attendance tonight. COLE Never before have I seen a man welcome such disdain. CABOOSE This is the kind of guy who enjoys being under your skin. He thrives on it, because a reaction like this means Dan Black is doing his job. Anglemania didn't teach him anything, and Zack is out for blood after losing some of his own at the hands of Black T. "Quiet" goes quiet, and Dan Black stands tall and eyes the ramp, as Josh Matthews takes the mic to his lips once again. JOSH And now, his opponent at the upcoming Pay Per View...ZACK MALIBU! While it must be weird for Josh to announce a man who mere months ago beat him severely (although Josh came out on the winning end!), bygones appear to be bygones, as Matthews slightly smiles when the crowd comes to their feet as "Getting Away With Murder" hits. Clad in blue jeans and a short sleeve button up, Malibu comes out and powerwalks to the ring, hopping up on the apron only to recieve the finger of Dan Black in his face. Josh does his best to back Dan up, but as he tries to do that, Zack comes into the ring and storms towards Dan, lunging over Josh to get at Black, only to be pushed by the smaller Mattthews. A flock of ref's and road agents hit the ring, scattering to hold both men back, as Josh fixes his suit. JOSH Guys! I've been told that we can cut to something...anything else, if you plan on getting physical with one another right now. This is supposed to be a verbal confrontation ONLY. While Dan and Zack both struggle with the people holding them back, Zack motions for the microphone, much to Dan's scorn, who is heard asking "why does HE get it first?" ZACK You want...GET AWAY FROM ME! Road agent Rick Martel, referee Charles Robinson, and interviewer "Macho Man" Randy Savage all back away from Zack, who gets the wild look in his eye. ZACK You want to know what I have to say? People want to know why I'm dragging this thing with Black T out? Let me tell you something, Dan. Let me explain it all for you, from the very beginning up to what has brought us together tonight. Three years ago, you and I, we showed up here around the same time. Now at that time, we were each running with our own cliques. That's what it was about in those days. You and JINGUS, much like you and Tony now, were the top of the tag division...the pinnacle...the team to beat. Then me, I had The In Crowd... Zack has to stop, as a HUGE crowd roar comes up at the mention of the popular stable. ZACK ...but more importantly than that, I had a mission. To take a company built on the shoulders, supposedly, of one man in particular, and make it a place where no one would be, pardon the pun, held down. A place where anarchy wouldn't reign supreme. What I wanted to do was give hope to the next person that walked through that door, so that whoever came in behind us would get their chance to shine. All I did for two years for this company was give my blood, my sweat, and my tears. For two years, there were times I came so close, and had it snatched from me. For two years, I survived beatings, betrayals. I watched my girlfriend leave me a week before an Iron Man Match that I somehow won. I became the main target of that damned Popick when he went Waco on us. I watched all our peers, our equals, come and go, and when Anglesault left for good, it might not have been noticeable to you people at home, but it threw us into a state of disarray. Last year, I felt it all bottle up inside me...the stress of the job, the politics in the back, with everyone trying, clinging to the suits and kissing corporate ass...I couldn't let it happen. A lot of people don't like what I did for the last year, and to be honest, I don't regret one thing I did in that time, because I needed to do it to protect myself. To protect my investment. Let's face it, even when Anglesault it was here, it was always about taking the low road. He might have seen the light towards the end, but it was always about Anglesault. The difference between he and Zack Malibu is that Zack Malibu was always...ALWAYS about the company, and... Dan Black breaks free from his restrainers and comes over, swiping the mic from Zack Malibu. Zack tries to go for him, but is blocked off, as Dan steps back. BLACK Always about the company? Zack Malibu, don't feed me your bullshit lines, because I don't believe it, and if this crowd believes it, then they're proving they are nothing but bandwagon jumpers, the whole lot of 'em. You say that no one cares about this company as much as you? You're willing to state that? What about the brand split, huh Zack? What about when the company was split in half. You must have been so jealous, so heated that you saw me in a position of power with the company as the General Manager, the LEADER of IntenseZone, that you used your sway to make empty promises to get everyone on YOUR side. The Dream Machines, Totally Endorsed, even your old "friends" like Crystal and Northstar...YOU brought them in, which means you dug your own grave one more than one occasion. You might have been responsible for the roster boom, but you're also responsible for ME nearly losing MY JOB at the expense of YOUR ego. Now, people might be wondering why the hell I teamed up with you if that was the case, but honestly Zack, I thought you were over yourself. As delusional, as psychotic as that feud with Crystal made you, for once, you started seeing things the right way...the way Black T saw them. As you once said, it was good for business, but bad for everyone else when we were brought together. However, YOU made it bad for business, because your ego wouldn't allow you to handle the fact that WOMEN were kicking your ass on a nightly basis...and now you think you can hang with ME in the ring? You've always been afraid Zack, afraid that someone was going to surpass you. That's why you had Sly cut from the roster, because he spoke his mind? That's why you went through a blood feud WITH A WOMAN, A GIRL...because SHE PROVED SHE IS BETTER THAN YOU! Face it Zack, you lost your heart, while I can't lose mine because it's black, and it's cold...I don't care about allegiances. Tony Brannigan is the only guy that I'd completely trust watching my back, and that is why Black T is what it is. Come this Pay Per View, we're both going to reach lifelong goals. He's going to be a World Heavyweight Champion, and I'm going to put the final nail in the coffin of the so called Savior of this company, and put it back in the hands of whom it belongs! Malibu scowls, and Dan tosses him the mic...then snatches it right back! BLACK Oh, and I almost forgot...you see, I know the real reason why you want me so bad, Zackary. Because of that little message I sent you, the forget me not that you recieved when I took your girlfriend's neck and snapped it like a twig over my shoulder. Even I felt the chills go up my spine when I did that, not because I was fearful of what I had done, but because I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! You see, you might care about this company, but you care about her even more, and a vengeful man loses focus, makes mistakes. I dare you Zack, I DARE YOU to let up once you get me in this ring, because the minute you slow up, I'm going to hurt you for real, and for good. Black tosses the mic back to Zack again, who blows past the restraints of Josh Matthews and co. and gets in Dan Black's face. ZACK This fight...this was personal long before she got involved. You took it to the next level when you didn't have to. You KNEW I was coming for you, but you weren't satisfied with that, and now, I hope you're happy. Have you not paid attention for the last twelve months? Have you not SEEN what I've done? The cheers of these fans, sure they might be directed at me again, but that does NOT...DOES NOT...mean that I've changed. You know what I do at night, Dan? I take my copy of that HeldDOWN~!, that night that The Original Elite disbanded at the hands of you and Tony, and I watch it, over and over and over and over and over again. I watch when those steel chairs sandwiched my head. I watch when you tore at my neck, trying to cripple me, and I watch, constantly over and over I watch my Candie, standing up for me, standing up to you, and you bring her head down with a sick snap and leave her motionless. You did that to a girl. Am I one to talk? No, I'm not. But YOU did it out of spite, out of jealousy. You thought it would bring me down, but instead I walked into Anglemania with the only two people in this company that had faith in me, believed my new stance in life to be for real, and we kicked your ass from bell to bell. You and Tony have seperate agendas in a few weeks, and honestly, I hope that "The Body" wins the World Title that night, I really do...because after that night, he's not going to have an ally anymore. Malibu drops the mic, and Dan Black watches it fall from his hand, then slowly looks up at Zack...and SPITS IN HIS FACE! Malibu cocks his arm back, ready to swing, but it's grabbed quickly by Martel, as the makeshift security crew holds Zack back...AND LEAVES HIM PRONE TO A PIE-FACE SLAP FROM DAN BLACK! Malibu is incensed and breaks free, but Black ducks out of the ring and runs up the aisle, as everyone in the ring tackles Malibu! CABOOSE What a cowardly son of a bitch. He makes the first move, hurting Zack's girlfriend, then draws his ire tonight, and runs like a scared dog. COLE There is so much antimosity between these two, so much hatred. Zack's love for Candie, as well as his love for this company are both being exploited by Black for all they are worth. CABOOSE That's the art of war, Cole. Find a weakness and exploit it. Dan Black knew that Malibu would want revenge for Candie, because that's how Zack is. Now, with Dan bringing up the past politics of this company, some of which I can vouch for, it's added more fuel, more rage that will drive the focus of both of these guys. COLE It all comes to a head soon enough, the next time the OAOAST takes to the airwaves on pay per view. Fans, we're going to take a quick break, but we're coming back with more, after this! *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 COLE Wow, how about that then? CABOOSE How about what? COLE Well...what just happened. CABOOSE And what DID just happen, Cole? COLE .....Josh Matthews is backstage. What's happening Josh. Quickly we scoot backstage, as somethin' be goin' down. Josh Matthews is jogging through the corridors of the arena with his cameraman in hot pursuit, trying to keep up with the intrepid interviewer as he chases after the OAOAST X-Division Champion. With his bags slung over his shoulder, Rodez is clearly on his way out of the arena as he sees the breathless Matthews chasing after him...stopping with a smile as Matthews reaches him. MATTHEWS Leon...man, you're a pretty fast walker. RODEZ Thanks. MATTHEWS Listen, we all saw what happened with the 70's Dude and...well,I think we're all in shock. Do you have any comments on what went down? RODEZ For you Joshy, sure. Last week, 'Mr. Dude' interrupted me in London and made it clear that he's coming for my X-Division Champion. Well, as the saying goes, if you want some of me, I'm not hard to find. I've never backed down from a challenge to my X-Division Title in the 5 plus months I've held the belt. The record speaks for itself. Blurricane. Chris Stevens. Panther. Zack Malibu. I've took on every challenge and fended it off. Cause that's what a champion does. Rodez adjusts his bags and smiles, wryly. RODEZ You know, I've no problem with The 70's Dude stepping up and coming after me. Or my belt. He's obviously got every right to a title shot, after his performance at Anglemania. However, it seems the Dude thinks he's more of a 'ladies man' than myself. Which makes this shiz-hizzy personal, Josh. When it comes down an issue of who's more of a 'ladies man'...there's no contest. MATTHEWS No contest? RODEZ Great input, Josh. No...contest. The fake chest wig and physcadelic t-shirts might get women of a certain age all hot under the cardigan. But step into the real world, of 2005, and the Dude is out of date. 30 years out of date for that matter. Again Rodez pauses for a moment. RODEZ Dude, last week you claimed I was going to experience your "Magical Mystery Tour of Funk". Well, unless it involves Terry Funk and his chainsaw, you'll forgive me for not quaking in my boots. You want a shot...at my X-Division Title belt? Removing the belt from one of his bags, Rodez flings the belt onto his shoulder with his bags now on the opposite side. RODEZ Consider it done. You. Me. Living Anglelously. It's on like Donkey Kong, my friend. Josie...if you're watching, you and me had better get together and talk over details once you get back from England. And then, maybe I'll make you breakfast in bed or something. Rodez winks to the camera. RODEZ And Dudemeister. You got one thing right last week...this time, no-one will cut in on our dance. And when it comes down to you versus me, you'll find out that I'm not bad...I'm not rad...I'm justa lovin' machine...OW OW! Still smiling, Rodez pats Matthews on the back before continuing on towards the exit. Meanwhile, Matthews just watches on, shaking his head. CABOOSE You know, Cole, nothing happened when you said "how about that." COLE You're mean. CABOOSE Well, maybe, but something is happening right now! COLE Really? HOW ABOUT THAT!! CABOOSE Ugh. The cameras cut elsewhere backstage, to some random hallway where Chris Stevens is talking with a random techie. STEVENS So, Josie's really not here tonight? TECHIE Well, no...Jasmine is, if you wanna see her... STEVENS Nah, thanks. ....Friggin' floozy. I miss Abe Vigoda. Anyway, listen. When she gets back, you NEED to give her this. It is imperative. Understand? Stevens hands the tech guy a VHS cassette. TECHIE Sure, right, you got it! STEVENS I mean it, don't screw up. Or it's your ass. TECHIE (trembling) N-no sir!! Stevens glances at the man as he clutches the tape for dear life, and, nodding, walks away. COLE Chris Stevens obviously had an agenda in coming back tonight! But what was it? And what was that tape? CABOOSE Tortured baby seals? COACH A Leon Rodez movie? CABOOSE I don't think they're really called "movies"... COLE Hopefully we'll find out soon enough! But now, it is time for out MAIN EVENT of the evening! Dan Black takes on Axel, one-on-one, in the center of the ring! And it's NEXT!! *commercial* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 Que: “Quiet” by The Smashing Pumpkins VENTURA And we are back on HeldDown! COLE Where did the other guys go? VENTURA Well, Caboose isn’t allowed to call any Black T matches due to his blindingly obvious bias, and Coach, well, Coach is an idiot. COLE Couldn’t agree more. VENTURA Here’s one of my favourite people! The pyro goes off and the smoke clears to reveal none other than one half of Black T, Dan Black! The crowd gives Black a very negative reaction as the former Tag Team Champion makes his way out to ringside. To everyone’s surprise, Tony Brannigan is not far behind! COLE What the hell is Tony doing out here? He isn’t a manager! VENTURA He’s here for moral support! COLE Moral support my ass! Black hops onto the apron and steps into the ring, while Tony waits on the outside. The referee is soon forewarning Tony that any monkey business will result in his removal, but Tony shrugs it off. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following non-title contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first being accompanied by Tony Brannigan, from London, England. He stands six feet, and weighs in at two hundred forty-three pounds, The ICE HEART! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN BLAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKK!!! The sold out crowd shower Black and his tag team partner with boos and insults, causing the former tag team champions to heckle right back. Dan Black and Tony begin jaw-jacking with a pair of slightly gothic-looking front row fans, clad in Axel T-Shirts and with a fake OAOAST Championship belt (available now at OAOASTShopzone.com). There arguing is soon stopped however… BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” “Eat You Alive” begins to blare, and the fans go positively APESHIT for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, who appears at the top of the entrance ramp, title glistening around his waist! The Dark One plays to the fans on both sides of the ramp, before beginning his decent to the ring, slapping some hands along the way. He stops halfway down, pointing to both sides of the crowd, and then to the ring, before striking the crucifix pose… BOOOOOOM! Setting off a pyro blast. COLE This man would be after some revenge from both of these men tonight Jesse! VENTURA Well I’m sorry Michael, but he won’t have much luck beating these guys. I mean come on; he couldn’t even beat Tony last week! COLE Dan Black attacked Axel from behind, causing a disqualification! VENTURA That’s no excuse. Axel charges down to the ring, sliding inside, and causing Dan Black to get out the other side. BUFFER And his opponent, originally from Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, weighing in at two hundred fifty-five pounds, He is the OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOORRLLLD… THIS. IS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!! Axel relinquishes the belt to the referee, who in turn gives it to the timekeeper. Dan Black steps back into the ring, which causes the bell to ring, and the two men to come face to face in the centre of the ring. COLE We heard earlier tonight how pissed off Axel was at his non-finish with Tony Brannigan last week, and he blames Dan Black for that! He wants revenge! Dan Black begins the jaw jacking with the champion, who responds with some taunts of his own. Black looks impressed by Axel’s linguistic ability, so much so that he steps back to admire his amazing grasp of the English language. *SLAP* “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!” VENTURA Ha-ha! Dan Black just slapped the taste out of Axel’s mouth! Axel grabs the side of his face where the open handed slap connected, shrugs his shoulders, and comes back with a hard right that ROCKS Dan Black, and sends him to the canvas! Black is back up quickly, but he eats another right hand, this time sending him into the ropes! Axel grabs his opponents’ left hand and sends him for an Irish Whip; Black comes off of the ropes, Axel tries a SPINEB...NO! Black goes behind! Axel turns around, Kick WHAM BL...NO! Axel pushes Black into the ropes! Black comes off of the ropes, and Axel FLOORS him with a Harlem Sidekick, causing Black to roll out of the ring to the safety of his tag team partner! COLE Both men tried their big moves early, but no luck! VENTURA Black was *this* close! THIS CLOSE to putting Axel away! Black talks strategy with his partner, with Axel taking the opportunity to climb to the second turnbuckle and strike his signature Crucifix Pose, causing the fans to break out into a huge ‘AX-EL! AX-EL!’ chant! VENTURA He shouldn’t be wasting time taunting! COLE Well Black’s wasting time talking! VENTURA But he’s a special case. Black seems to be taking way too much time to get abck into the ring by Axel’s standards, so the champion goes to the outside and grabs the head of his opponent, flooring him again with a hard right hand! Black goes to ground, giving Axel an opportunity to stomp a mudhole! Axel buries his boots into Black, with the referee’s count reaching six. Sensing another non-finish, Axel rolls back into the ring and then out again, helping his opponent to his feet. The Dark One grabs the back of Dan Black’s head and drives his face into the guardrail, before rolling him back into the ring. Tony Brannigan attempts to attack Axel from behind, but Axel turns around before Tony can do anything, causing T-Bod to freeze in his tracks! COLE He was caught out! VENTURA He was simply going to pat Axel on the back! Tony backs off and allows Axel to roll back into the ring, only for the Champ to suffer a stiff boot to the back of the head from Dan Black, who is up and mobile! Black lifts Axel to his feet and applies a front face lock, trying to get The Dark One over for a suplex. Axel blocks the first two attempts and finally reverses it on the third, getting Black high in the air, before dropping him for a vertical suplex. Axel floats over into a cover, hooking the leg… ONENO! Black instantaneously gets a shoulder off of the canvas. COLE First cover of the match, but just a one. VENTURA You didn’t really think this match was going to end with a SUPLEX, did you? Axel forces Black to his feet again, and the champ lands a stiff boot to the midsection of his opponent, following up with a knife edge chop! *SLAP* WOO! And another! *SLAP* WOO! A third! *SLAP* WOO! Black’s chest is now beginning to show signs of redness, and he is certainly reeling after the succession of chops. Irish Whip by Axel to Black, Black reverses, Axel goes into the corner turnbuckles. Black charges at Axel and tries a clothesline, but Axel ducks under and comes off of the ropes… …but T-Bod grabs his foot, and Axel trips, smashing his face into the canvas! Black takes advantage, and lands an elbow right in the middle of Axel’s spine! The Champion grabs at his back, but Dan Black doesn’t give him any time to recover, driving his knee into the same area! Quick cover by Dan Black… ONE… TW-NO! Axel kicks out. COLE Tony Brannigan sure as hell had a hand in Dan Black now being on top of Axel! VENTURA Oh psh. Tony had his hand there; Axel was just stupid enough to trip on it. Black with a well-placed stomp to the face of Axel, leaving the champion incapacitated for the time being. Black lifts Axel up and rests his back on the middle rope, with the upper half of his body hanging out of the ring. The Ice heart proves his moniker by distracting the ref while his counterpart Tony Brannigan bends Axel’s back around the middle rope, before connecting with a hard right hand, sending Axel out of the ropes and to the canvas. COLE Now I want to hear this. Go on, justify that Jesse! Justify what Tony just did! VENTURA I don’t have to justify crap! Tony did what he did for a very good reason, I’m sure! Black lifts the champion to his feet, brings his fist back, and connects with a hard right hand that sends Axel right back from where he came, the canvas. Axel is up not long after being knocked down, but he should have stayed on the canvas, as he gets knocked down a second time straight away, each time landing flat on his back, which can’t be good for his spine. Black lets his opponent get up this time and immediately hits a stiff European Uppercut, incapacitating Axel and allowing Black to hook in a front face lock. Black lifts Axel up for a Vertical Suplex, but instead changes his mind and drops him in a Falcon Arrow! Cover by Black! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Axel kicks out. VENTURA Very close cover by Black there, he’s picking up where Tony left off by working on Axel’s back. COLE You didn’t really think the match was going to end with a SUPLEX, did you? VENTURA You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’ son. Black lifts Axel to his feet before whipping the champion into the ropes. Axel comes off, and runs into a Dan Black STO!!! Cover! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Axel kicks out again, just after the count of two! VENTURA Your champion is taking a tremendous amount of punishment! COLE He knew it wasn’t going to be tough. Earlier today I got an opportunity to talk to Axel, and he told me that he knew the bulls eye was on his chest! The Ice Heart continues the torture on the champion by burying his knee into the middle of The Dark One’s back, and forcing his head backwards in a modified version of a chin lock. Axel soon puts his foot on the bottom rope, but the referee doesn’t see it, and Tony pushes it off! VENTURA Beautiful! Axel writhes in pain as Dan Black continues to put pressure on his back, and bend it in the direction that it isn’t supposed to be bent in. Black lets go of the hold and connects with a stomp to Axel’s back, followed by a second, and then a third. Black starts to help Axel get up once again… …but AXEL TURNS IT INTO A SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Black fights out of the rollup, and both men are up quicker due to the momentum. Axel charges, but he is quickly stopped by Dan Black, who buries a boot into his stomach! Standing head scissors applies by Black, who lifts Axel up, and drops him directly onto his back for a Powerbomb! Black keeps a hold of Axel’s legs, and rolls over for the bridge! COLE Cover by Dan Black after the Powerbomb! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Axel escapes the innovative pin cover. Black doesn’t dwell on the Kickout, instead keeping the pressure on the champion, as he knows that a victory in this contest could possibly lead to a title shot of his own. Axel is almost to his feet, but Black helps him up the rest of the way, grabbing his left arm and sending him for an Irish Whip. Axel comes off of the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Dan Black ducks under and goes behind the champ, hooking a rear waist lock and hitting a German Suplex! BRIDGE! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… NO! Axel kicks out! VENTURA Axel has to be feeling it now; Dan Black is doing a wonderful job of taking apart Axel’s neck and spine! COLE I have to agree with you for the first time in this match Jesse. He might have Tony Brannigan’s help, but there is no doubting that Axel’s back is not in the best shape at this point in time! The champion could be in trouble, just like he was last week! Black on the attack again immediately after the Kickout. Hard right hand by Black as Axel gets up, sending the champion staggering backward. Black turns Axel around and drives him chest-first into the turnbuckle, causing The Dark One to gasp in pain, and leaving his back exposed. Black grabs the middle ropes on either side of the turnbuckles and launches his shoulder right into the middle of Axel’s back! Black backs off of Axel, but drives his shoulder into the champions back a second time! And a third! A fourth! Axel, in great pain at the moment, is brought out of the corner by Dan Black, who says that he is going to end it! VENTURA Watch this Michael Cole, you’re about to see the beginning of the end for Axel! Boot to the midsection by Black, standing body scissors… and Dan Black hooks Axel’s arms! COLE Oh, I guess Dan Black is the new Cerebral Assassin! Black lifts Axel high in the air for the double under hook… …and DROPS Axel across his knee for a BACKBREAKER! COLE What a move! VENTURA It’s over! Cover by Dan Black! ONE…. TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… THNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Axel gets a shoulder off of the canvas! VENTURA Now how in the hell did Axel do that? Black, slightly frustrated by the champion’s resiliency, lifts Axel to his feet one more time, before locking in a front face lock again. Dan Black forces Axel over near the corner, and Suplexes the champion up onto the top rope! COLE Well if the Pendulum Backbreaker won’t work, then this just might! Black joins Axel on the top rope, hooking his head, and setting the champion up for a Superplex off the top rope. Black gets Axel up onto his feet, ready to take the move, but Axel grabs onto the top rope, blocking the suplex! Dan Black tries again to get Axel over, but The Dark One won’t budge! Punches to the gut by Axel, followed by a HUGE right hand that almost sends Dan Black off the top rope to the canvas below, but Axel holds onto his opponent, instead setting him in a standing body scissors! VENTURA No! NO! WHY WON’T HE JUST LOSE? Axel uses all of his strength to lift Dan Black up… …and BOTH MEN GO CRASHING INTO THE CANVAS, AS AXEL DELIVERS A SITOUT POWERBOMB FROM THE TOP ROPE! COLE My GOD! Both men are motionless! The tide may have turned! VENTURA I can’t believe this! Dan Black was dominating this asshole! Why couldn’t he just stay down? COLE He’s the champion! He doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘quit’! VENTURA Why doesn’t it surprise me that he doesn’t know the meaning of words? The referee begins his mandatory ten count! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Tony Brannigan is going crazy on the outside, begging his partner to get up, as Axel starts to show signs of life… FIVE! SIX! Dan Black moves, and then starts to try and get up, although at the moment that is no easy task, after the incredible top rope sit out Powerbomb! SEVEN! Axel on his knees… EIGHT! Dan Black up to one foot… NI-NO! The referee stops the ten count just before nine, as Dan Black is the first to get to his feet, followed closely by Axel. Black tries to go after Axel with a right hand, but Axel ducks under, Black turns around and BAM! Right by Axel! BAM! Another! BAM! Another! Axel cocks his fist back, ready to hit his signature uppercut, but the Ice Heart stops the champion in his tracks, burying a thumb in his eye! Irish Whip by Black, Axel comes off of the ropes, ducks a clothesline… …and Levels Dan Black with a STIFF LARIAT! COLE LARIATOOOOOOOOO!~!~! Axel gets up with a rush of adrenaline, and strikes the crucifix pose, before clutching at his still-throbbing back! COLE Axel has a rush of blood here! Dan Black gets to his feet, and is met by the champion, who connects with a boot to the midsection, and locks a front face lock. Axel takes Dan Black up in the air, and drops him in a BRAINBUSTAH~! Eliciting a pop from the crowd! Axel points to the sky! COLE Axel’s going to take a chance! VENTURA Good, hopefully it won’t pay off. Axel begins tpo go towards the corner, but stops when T-Bod begins to taunt him. Axel walks over to the ring apron where his Living Angleously opponent is standing, and goes face to face with the cocky Brannigan. VENTURA Why is Axel even outside the ring? He needs to focus on Dan Black, not Tony! COLE We could be in for a preview of Living Angleously! Tony isn’t so cocky anymore; a better description would be serious, with the stare down continuing, and Tony talking trash. Axel threatens to punch Tony, but the referee soon gets between the two, telling them to separate. Tony backs off and Axel does the same, with Tony telling the champ to ‘watch his back’. COLE Well there’s a double-barreled statement if there ever was one! Axel turns around… and sees a revitalized Dan Black charging at him, with the champion only just managing to duck under the impending clothesline! Dan Black turns around, Axel charges… …and HITS A RUNNING ENZIGURI! COLE THE RUNNING ENZIGURI! He hasn’t got a name for that yet, but I’m sure he’ll think of one eventually! Axel gets straight up from the move, and signals for the end! COLE Your boy might be in trouble! VENTURA He sure as hell better not be! But unbeknownst to Axel, Tony slips Dan Black the OAOAST Championship belt! Tony then stands on the apron to distract the referee! COLE Axel! Watch out! Axel turns around, and RIGHT INTO A BELTSHOT FROM DAN BLACK! COLE Dammit! That isn’t right! VENTURA YES! THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! Black throws the belt out of the ring and covers Axel, hooking the leg! Tony then jumps down off of the apron, causing the referee to turn around and make the cover! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AXEL GETS A SHOULDER UP! Tony can’t believe it, Dan Black can’t believe it, and Jesse Ventura can’t believe it. COLE Axel won't die, he's got the heart of a champion! Black is PISSED OFF, for lack of a better term. He throws his hands up in the air and argues with the referee about the call, but the official cannot give him the answers he needs. Axel struggles to his feet, now with a slight amount of blod trickling from his hairline from the belt shot, using the ropes to try and gain a vertical base. The champion finally gets to his feet, where Dan Black is there to meet him, measuring Axel and landing a hard right to his wound, opening it up even further. Black brings Axel into the middle of the ring... Kick WHAM! BL...NO! Axel pushes Dan Black off! Black turns around... and Axel lifts him up for DARK ROYALTY! COLE Axel has Dan Black up! Here we go! Axel tries to get Black into position, but his back gives out! Black slides down Axel's back and pushes him into the ropes... ...where Tony is waiting with a Beltshot! The referee was distracted by Dan Black! VENTURA YES! YES! Axel turns around... Kick WHAM! BLACKOUT! COVER! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *DING DING DING* COLE Dammit, Dan Black just stole one! Tony jumps into the ring and pushes the referee out of the way, instead being the one to raise his partner's hand, as "Quiet" plays in the background. BUFFER Here is your winner... DAAAAAAAN BLAAAAACCCCKK!!! Black T celebrate in the ring, with Tony making a belt sign around his waist, obviously alluding to Living Angleously, and his title shot against Axel. VENTURA Take a look Michael Cole, take a good look, because that right there is our next OAOAST Champion! COLE This is disgusting! This was a glorified handicap match! Axel hardly has a ch- wait a minute! Out of nowhere, Axel runs underneath the raised arms of Black T, comes off of the ropes, and connects with a double clothesline! With hatred in his eyes, the bloody champion looks down at his two adversaries, and strikes the crucifix pose, while shouting to the crowd! Dan Black is the first to get up, but he eats a SPINEBUSTAH~! Tony is up next, but he also eats a SPINEBUSTAH~! COLE Spinebusters all round! VENTURA That's not fair! Get him out of the ring! Axel starts to walk over to the fallen Dan Black, but the referee stops him, ordering him out of the ring! Axel steps forward and forces the referee into the corner, having strong words with the official... when he is cut down by a Dan Black LOW BLOW! COLE No! Axel is down! Axel is quickly lifted to his feet by Dan Black, Irish Whip, Tony is up as well... BLACK BODY BAG! VENTURA THE 3B! YES! That'll teach the Aussie bastard! Axel, now down and bleeding, completes the trifecta of bad luck by being motionless on the canvas. Black T take advantage of this state by dragging the dead weight of the champion over to the ropes, as Tony Brannigan pulls something out of his pocket! COLE What.. is that athletic tape or something? Indeed Cole is right, as Tony unravels the athletic tape, and wraps it around Axel's wrist, which is next to the middle rope! Tony then does the other arm, and Axel is suddenly powerless, and tied to the middle rope, with his slightly injured back in full view of his adversaries. Tony removes his belt, swings it around for all the crowd to see.. COLE Oh not this, someone stop them! Please! Someone stop th- *CRACK* COLE NO! *CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK* Tony brings the belt down repeatedly across the champion's back, causing Axel to scream in agony. While Tony is doing this, Dan Black slides out of the ring and grabs a chair from the timekeeper. COLE They're crucifying Axel! Is this what Brannigan's Law is all about? VENTURA I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law Michael, all I know is that right now, it's being enforced! Tony continues to whip Axel, until he is suddenly stopped... by Dan Black? COLE What? Has Dan had enough? Dan tells Tony to stop whipping Axel...instead, to pummel him with the chair! COLE Aw dammit that's enough! THAT'S ENOUGH! Tony smiles a sadistic, evil smile at his partner, before getting the edge of the steel chair... and RAMMING it into Axel's back! And again! Again! Again! VENTURA We are witnessing the fall of a champion Michael Cole, no one can stop this! NO ONE~! Cue: "Getting Away With Murder" "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE HERE'S SOMEONE WHO CAN! To the surprise pof everyone, especially Black T, Zack Malibu comes running down to the ring! Dan Black is the first to meet him, but he gets knocked down. Tony is there next, but suffers the same fate! Tony staggers up against the ropes, and Malibu sends him to the arena floor with a blistering clothesline! Dan Black tries a clothesline of his own on Zack, but Zack ducks under... ...SCHOOLS OUT~! KNOCKS DAN BLACK OUT OF THE RING! COLE ZACK MALIBU HAS CLEANED HOUSE! VENTURA Dammit! Zack Malibu ruins everyone's fun! The referee's tend to Axel, setting him free from the ropes, as "Getting Away With Murder" starts up again. Zack and Black T have an INTENSE STAREDOWN~!, with Zack looking over at the OAOAST Champion every once in a while, who seems more surprised than anyone that Zack came to his aid. COLE Zack just saved Axel's career! But why? These two hate each other! VENTURA I don't know Cole, but next week is going to be very interesting! COLE Definately! For the Coach and Caboose, as well as "The Body," this is Michael Cole saying good night and have a pleasane tomorrow!! Zack Malibu and Axel stand -- temporarily -- united in the ring as we... FADE TO BLACK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2005 (edited) OAOAST Inc./HeldDOWN Entertainment, 2005 © CREDITS Hoff Some Guy King Cucaracha The #1 MST3K Mark Patio Green Alfdogg Tony149 Nice Guy Adam The Superstar Failed Mascot Mystery Eskimo KingPK CWM Zack Malibu and of course, the great HeldDOWN fans!! Edited April 15, 2005 by Hoff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
