KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B-O-O-M~! As the smoke clears, a graphic tells us that we are in Charleston, West Virginia this week. The camera pans across the arena as spotlights sweep over the capacity crowd. COLE We are less than two weeks away from Anglepalooza 2007 and the beginning of the Road to AngleMania VI! Good evening everyone, Michael Cole here again with you along with the "Coach" Jonathan Coachman for another edition of HeldDOWN~! Tonight we come to you from Charleston, West Virginia with another action packed program. Tonight, two more first round Anderson Cup matches The Anderson Cup brackets come on the screen, tonight's matches are highlighted. COLE In one matchup, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker.... COACH Representin' for the Enterprise. Don't forget that, Cole. COLE Right.....they will take on the Love Doctors. In our second Anderson Cup match, which will be kicking things off tonight...... Tom Sawyer hits, and Team Canada makes their way to the ring. COLE Well, I guess you can see who is coming out to the ring. Anderson Cup action, on the way! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is a first-round contest in the Anderson Cup tournament! Making their way down the aisle, accompanied by their manager, Rick Heyross...at a total combined weight of 485 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FELIX STRUTTER, and KEN PANTERA, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! COACH You know, this is an injustice, Cole! How can Team Canada, the greatest tag team in the WORLD, be ranked #4 in this tournament? They should be the #1 seed! COLE That's a question you'll have to ask the tournament committee, as Team Canada prepares for their opponents! It's Raining Men hits, and the Diablos make their way to the ring. BUFFER Their opponents...hailing from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, at a total combined weight of 340 pounds...LOS DIABLOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS DE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! COACH That's OK, though, this one shouldn't take long! Diablos jump into the ring, and the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Moracca starts the match off with Ken Pantera. Pantera goes in for a tieup, but Moracca ducks under, and slaps Pantera on the back, then goes into his corner. COLE And this is what the Diablos need to do, they need to use their speed against Ken Pantera! Pantera goes for another tieup, and gets the same result! They circle the ring, and finally tie up, with Pantera immediately backing Moracca into a corner. Pantera goes for a big forearm, but Moracca ducks out of the way, then starts biting Pantera right on his rear end! COACH Oh, that's disgusting! Strutter comes in, but is cut off by Mariachi, who floors him with a flying forearm! The Diablos take Pantera out of the ring with a double dropkick! Mariachi then turns around, to find Strutter getting up on all fours. COACH Oh, no! Mariachi hops on, and starts riding Strutter around the ring as the crowd goes crazy! Strutter squirms free and goes for a clothesline, which Mariachi ducks, then Morocco catches him with a foot to the gut. The Diablos whip Strutter into the ropes, and catch him coming back with a DOUBLE TILT-A-WHIRL FACE-FIRST SLAM~! Strutter rolls out of the ring, as the Diablos dance provocatively around the ring. COLE And it's the Diablos in the driver's seat early, which is a surprise to me! COACH You're not kidding! Team Canada catches their breath, then Strutter slides in, as Mariachi catches him with a drop toehold! Mariachi then gets to his feet and runs to the ropes, catching Strutter with a spinning flying headscissors! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Mariachi sends Strutter into a corner, then charges, but Struttes avoids the charge, and Mariachi crashes into the corner! COLE And Felix Strutter able to dodge that blow! Strutter slowly picks up Mariachi, and delivers a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And now Felix Strutter trying to slow the pace here, which is a smart tactic! Strutter backs into the ropes, and goes for a rolling senton, but Mariachi moves out of the way! Mariachi moves over to his corner, but Strutter hooks the leg, then reaches back and tags Pantera. Pantera lifts Mariachi, delivering a PRESS SLAM~! Pantera puts a foot on Mariachi's chest, and does a double bicep pose... 1... 2... Mariachi pushes the foot off. COLE Very arrogant cover there by Ken Pantera, and Mariachi able to escape! Pantera backs Mariachi into a corner, and delivers a couple big forearm shots, then lifts him in a Canadian backbreaker! COLE And now a submission hold applied! Pantera holds him for a few seconds, then tags Strutter back in. Strutter goes to the top rope, and comes off with a chop for Mariachi! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter picks up Mariachi, posing for the crowd and drawing boos, and delivers a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE The Diablos still hanging in there! Pantera tags in once again. He scoops up Mariachi, and delivers a shoulder breaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pantera grabs a rear waistlock, but Mariachi is able to jump up and hook his legs around Pantera's waist. Mariachi then falls forward, pushes himself back up, and delivers a bulldog to Pantera! COLE Now's your chance to make a tag, Mariachi! Pantera gets up and tries to drop an elbow, but Mariachi rolls out of the way, and makes the tag to Moracca! COLE And a tag is made! Moracca fires away with right hands on both men, then floors each with a dropkick! Moracca picks up Strutter, and delivers a FAME-ASSER~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Strutter gets a shoulder up! Moracca picks up Strutter, and delivers the SLIPPERY WHEN WET~!!! COLE One of Morocca's patented moves! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Pantera makes the save! Moracca rakes the face of Pantera, then Mariachi comes in with a clothesline, taking both himself and Pantera over the top to the floor! COLE Mariachi and Pantera out to the floor! COACH And Pantera's hurt out there! Pantera reaches down for his knee in agony, as Morocca continues to hammer on Strutter in the ring. COLE And it's Pantera and Morocco the legal men! The referee starts to count Pantera on the floor. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! Moracca floors Strutter with a clothesline! 5!!! Moracca scoops up Strutter, who slips behind the back... 6!!! ...delivers a foot to the gut... 7!!! ...and drills Moracca with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 Cover... COLE Strutter got it, but he's not the legal man! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! COLE That's it! *DING DING DING* COACH You've got to be kidding me. Strutter slowly gets up, then slides out to check on his partner. BUFFER The winners of the match as a result of a countout, advancing to the second round...LOS DIABLOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS DE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! COACH I don't believe this! COLE The Diablos advance, but Pantera really hurt outside the ring! Strutter waves to the back, and the EMT's emerge with a stretcher. COACH Boy...you may not like Team Canada, Cole, but you hate to see this happen! COLE Absolutely, Pantera appears to have suffered a knee injury, we hope to get more on that later, as the Diablos score a major upset, and advance to the second round to take on The Heavenly Rockers, and what a match that should be! Backstage we swoop, as everybody's favourite boyband manager Jade Rodez is in mid-conversation on her funky-fresh new cellphone. I don't know what make, as I myself am not funky-fresh. But, consider it similiar to one that those funky-fresh Hollywood star people use all the time. Jade's conversation isn't audible, possibly because someone in the sound system flubbed up, possibly because it's not all that important. Especially as it's cut off within the next few seconds... *OOF!* ...as, absent-mindedly, she walks straight into a burly Colombian, dropping the phone. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, check yoself foo'! JADE Oh, I'm sorry, I'm... (picks up phone, whic is clearly broken) real sorry... aw man, I just bought this! HEAT Don't be lookin' at me now girl. Ya'll shoulda been watchin' where you were walkin'. After a quick surveyance of the small, mangled phone in her hand, Jade presses the button to hang up. Of course, that actual button is lying by her right foot, but she doesn't want to end up with a ridiculous phone bill now, does she. JADE It's okay. I'm sure it's fixable... Right on cue, another piece falls off the phone. Nothing major, just the keypad. JADE Or... not. HEAT Anyone important? JADE Nah, just some guy I met down in Australia when I was out with Krista and Alix and he bought me a couple of drinks, I must have given him my number, which is odd because I didn't even have the phone then, Krista only bought me it the next morning because I told her I didn't have one and she was all like 'That's crazy, I'm'a Michael J. Fox your ass and bring you Back To The Future' or words to that effect. You know, I thought it was funny when she said Alix ate the reciept, because Alix doesn't tend to eat non-coloured paper... Jade notices that Heat has stopped listening and trails off. JADE But, that's not important. So, uhm... how are you doing? HEAT Wha'? JADE After what happened. HEAT You only bumped into me, not like ya knifed me or nothin'. JADE No, I mean... with Stacey. HEAT Oh! (turns solemn) Aw, yeah, that. Yeah, I'm doin' real... real bad. Despite Heat not seeming that genuinely broken hearted, Jade heart-strings tug a little anyway. Probably due to her boyband connections and long exposure to fake emotions. HEAT Yeah, ya know, coz I'm all alone... n' stuff. On mah own. And it's real whack. Without mah boo. It's like, mah heart... it feels like it's, like... broken inside, ya dig? JADE Yeah, I... I dig. HEAT Sometimes I sit an' I wonder if I'm'a ever love again. JADE Aw, I'm sure you'll find someone else. HEAT Ya reckon? Coz, you know, mah heart. Broken inside, or somethin'. Suddenly, a lightbulb goes off in Jade's head. JADE You know, I think I know exactly what I can do to cheer you up! HEAT (perks up) Really? An' what would dat be then? Heat seems a little happier now... JADE I'll challenge Stacey to a match! ...and, now, not so much. HEAT Say what now? JADE Yeah! I'll challenge her to a match and I'll kick her ass for you! That's what Krista would do. And, she'd do it on Pay Per View so she'd get a bigger payday! Perfect! She needs a little bit of a reality check and that's exactly what I'm going to give her, Stacey that is, not Krista, obviously. Listen, I'm going to go and challenge her right now, while I'm in the zone. And hey, good luck tonight with your match. Thanks for the idea! HEAT Nah, don't mention it... Jade merrily jogs off as Heat scratches his head, watching as she disappears off into the distance with a rather confused look. HEAT Man, what's up wit' bitches round here? Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 (edited) Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Super highways, coast to coast, easy to get anywhere On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel How does it feel As the late James Brown's "Living in America" blares in the background, the ALL-AMERICAN BOYS march to the ring waving Old Glory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following exhibition match, one fall, 10 minute time limit. Introducing first...from the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave...the All-American Boys! The masked patriots salute the flag and everyone at home. COLE Interesting match-up on the way. An exhibition bout signed at the request of Officer Bosley and EMT Tim, Rescue 911, the #8 seed in the MWC Conference. Rarely do you see exhibition bouts in today's world of wrestling, but Rescue 911 felt it was important to get in a traditional tag match in preperation for their big Anderson Cup showdown next week against the top seeded Sooner Bruisers after spending much of their time competing in multi-man and other non-conventional tag matches in recent weeks. COACH Hate to say it, but it's a smart idea. They might as well get rid of any rust they may have now as opposed to next week, arguably the biggest night in their careers. For some teams the Anderson Cup will be the closest they ever get to a title shot. I do wonder how the All-American Boys feel about Rescue 911 using them as a warm up act. I know I'd be pissed if my friends thought of me as nothing more than a stepping stone to bigger and better things. COLE Don't start. I'm sure the All-American Boys are happy to lend a helping hand to their good friends. COACH When did they become friends? COLE Well, they both believe in truth, justice and the American way. COACH So do I, but that doesn't mean I'm friends with either the All-American Boys and Rescue 911. Besides, Canada is where it's at right now, you know. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The audience boos on cue, as if the commentary is being piped in the arena or at the encouragement of stage hands ala the old WCW Disney-MGM tapings; but it's for the unexpected appearance of the SOONER BRUISERS who ambush the All-American Boys! COLE What business do they have here?! These are the men scheduled to face Rescue 911 next week in the Anderson Cup and Chicks Over Dicks at Anglepalooza for the OAOAST World tag team championship, and they're wrecking havoc in the ring! Somebody stop them, damnit! COACH Big Frank and Uber living up to their promise to batter and bruise any and everyone on their way to Anglepalooza. I hope you're watching COD because this is what you have to deal with at AP. Good thing Krista has her own line of beauty products, she and Alix are gonna need everything in the warehouse to cover up their black and blue faces. A pair of big time Soonerlines knock the All-American Boys into next year. The Psycho Gremlin lifts AAB #2 overhead in a body vice as big brother scales the turnbuckles and drops the elbow! But that's not all. Included in this bruising is a top rope ELECTRIC CHAIR BULLDOG with Uber flying off to deliver the takedown on AAB #3! Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency Rescue 911 arrive at the crime scene and unleash their own brand of justice, but the Bruisers don't back down one bit. All 4 men mixing it up one week before their Anderson Cup playoff. COLE We're not even in Tusla and it's still breaking down. We need help out here. Now! Scrawny officials and past their prime wrestlers-turned road agents are unable to stop the mayhem. The situation becomes so uncontrollable the boss himself, ANGLESAULT, is forced to step in and clear things up. He grabs the mic. ANGLESAULT Hey! The violence continues. ANGLESAULT Knock it off, damnit! Again his words fall on deaf ears. ANGLESAULT I said knock it off or be prepared to search for new jobs tomorrow morning! The action stops. COACH Some power. COLE That's the boss talking. ANGLESAULT Now, it looks to me you 4 can't wait until next week to fight. So I tell you what I'm going to do. First of all, Frank, Uber...you gentlemen will be fined for your actions tonight. I'll have the exact amount sometime after the telecast. Secondly, seeing that you've taken out Rescue 911's previously scheduled opponent, I'm left without a match and time to fill. I can either give them the night off or we can have your Anderson Cup match tonight. "YEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!" ANGLESAULT I mean, it's not like that'll costing the company a buyrate. Free TV is free TV. So I'm with them. Your match is tonight! In fact, it starts right now! So ring the bell. * DINGDINGDING * COLE History being made live on TSM. For the first time ever 3 Anderson Cup matches in one night. Incredible! The All-American Boys are helped backstage as Uber and EMT Tim prepare to lockup. Shockingly, and I say that dripping sarcasm, Tim is overpowered and shoved to the canvas. That doesn't stop him from charging forward only to run into the brick house that is the Psycho Gremlin. Officer Bosley cheers his partner on from the apron, rallying the crowd behind Tim. In a complete act of disrespect Uber gives Tim the opportunity to place him in a headlock, which Tim accepts and is immediately shot off into the ropes. Uber braces himself as Tim shoots back on the rebound, but rather than try to run through the Gremlin again or risk being powerslammed on a leapfrog the EMT slides between Uber's legs and staggers him with a dropkick! Made in the USA right hands rattle the Psycho Gremlin to the point of nearly knocking the big man off his feet. The whip proceeds the tag and EMT Tim slingshots Officer Bosley in for the shoulderblock! COACH That got Uber off his feet. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Bosley rams Uber into the turnbuckle...but it has no effect! The Psycho Gremlin just stares and smiles, then wallops law enforcement's finest with a Soonerline! COLE Such force behind those Soonerlines. I've been told it feels like popping a ballon with a push pin. Your ears pop! Big Frank is tagged in, and he suplexes Officer Bosley overhead to the Bruisers side of the ring. The Man of Tomorrow gives his 25" anaconda some love before dropping the elbow across the sternum. ONE... TWO... Nonchalant with his cover Frank is rolled onto his side in a crucifix! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! The Superfreak rushes to his feet...and right into a standing dropkick! Proving he's smarter than your average cop, Bosley turns the match over to Tim. The EMT catches Big Frank on the way up with a running enziguri, but rather than go for the pin he heads to the top. MISSLE DROPKICK! ONE... TWO... Kickout with authority! Tim grabs Frank for an Irish whip, but the Man of Tomorrow pulls him in and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex! ONE... TWO... But only two. Still reeling from the enziguri, Frank rolls to his corner and tags out. Meanwhile, Tim seeks shelter in a netural corner, but Uber is soon there to repeatedly drive the shoulder into the midsection. He fires Tim to the far corner and follows in, only to smack his arm across the steel hook that connects the turnbuckle to the ringpost! Tim wrings the arm and drags Uber over to Bosley. Rapid-fire tags lead to a series of axe handles smashes onto the outstretched arm of the Psycho Gremlin, concluding with an armdrag takedown by Officer Bosley. Rescue 911 again with the quick tag. EMT Tim diving over the top and onto the arm of Uber with a big splash. Uber is mounted from behind as Tim places him in an armbar, grimacing in pain as Tim applies the pressure. COACH Must be something in the water, Mikey. This is the second time tonight I've agreed with a decision made by Rescue 911. They're targeting the arm of Uber. Take away the arm and you take away one of the Bruisers strongest weapons, the Soonerline. Tim goes from the offensive to the defensive in a matter of seconds as Uber powers up with him on his shoulders. Right hands to the head have little effect as Uber casually walks over to his corner and leans forward, allowing Frank to land a massive forearm shot on Tim! COLE Big Frank may have just broken the nose of EMT Tim with that shot. Right in the face. Frank knocks Bosley off the apron, causing the officer to lose his composure. He's restrained by the referee as Uber taunts him to his face. Meanwhile, Big Frank tosses Tim outside and just about bashes his brains in with a brutal CHAIRSHOT! COACH Busted! COLE And he is gushing blood, and I mean gushing. COACH The good news is, being an EMT Tim can patch himself up. Tim's thrown back in and covered by Uber. Officer Bosley doesn't even bother to breakup the pin as he's unaware of what happened, having spent the last few minutes dealing with the referee and Uber. ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO!! "YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Bosley watches in horror as he finally spots Tim wearing a crimson mask. Frank drapes the EMT upward on his right shoulder and rams him into the corner turnbuckles, and keeps him seated on top as he climbs to the second rope and hits a SUPER OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! BUFFER 5 minutes gone by. 5 minutes. COLE Halfway to the time limit, and I think the Sooner Bruisers are starting to become frustrated with their inability to put EMT Tim away. COACH They're having too much fun kicking Tim's ass to finish him now. ONE... TWO... This time Bosley makes the save, stomping Frank in the back of the head. Charles Robinson warns Bosley about coming in illegally, which Frank gets in on after tossing Tim outside again. Uber stalks Tim on the floor before scooping him up for a bodyslam, but Tim slips out and shoves the Psycho Gremlin shoulder-first into the ringpost! Frank turns around thinking enough time has passed for Uber to do his business and toss Tim back in. Imagine his surprise when he sees EMT Tim springboard off the top and clotheslines him. Tim's momentum takes him to his corner...and the tag! "YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Roundhouse kick grazes the chin of Big Frank, but enough to knock him off balance. Scoop and a slam, and a dropkick to follow. A normal man would stay down or catch a breather outside, but Frank isn't a normal man. He's the Man of Tomorrow and he has too much pride. KUNG FU FIGHTING~! Bosley in control. Irish whip, and Big Frank begins SERVING HARD TIME! ONE... TWO... THREE-- KICKOUT!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" Outside, Uber yanks Tim off the apron and slams him into the steel ring steps. He hurries in as Officer Bosley takes Frank up for his finisher, but the Superfreak floats over and grabs him in a full nelson as Uber comes off the far side with a Soonerline! ASSISTED FULL NELSON SUPLEX! ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, advancing onto the second round of the Anderson Cup, the SOONER...BRUUUUUUUUUUUUISERS! COLE Rescue 911 have nothing to be ashamed about. A helluva effort on their part. COACH Unlike the last time these two teams met, Rescue 911 actually put up a fight. I'll give them that. But what a second round match-up we'll have in the MWC Conference -- the Sooner Bruisers vs. Black T. COLE Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura will have that for you in a couple of weeks, fans. Right now, let's go to the back. COACH For what? COLE *Shrugs* Commercial break Edited January 19, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 Upon returning, we're taken backstage where tag team champion Alix Maria Spezia is practicing the time honored art of salsa dancing. Ever the unusual one, Alix's choice of music isn't traditional salsa fare, rather she's chosen to shake her tail feather to It Ends Tonight. Needless to say,her energetic dancing is not quite in step with the tone of the Top 40 song. She's outfitted in a True Religion halter style dress with a striking grey fishnet print. Her tag team title, now featuring blinking Christmas lights to go along with the other outrageous decorations, sits on a nearby table. ALIX (dancing and singing. Doing the first one very well and the second one very, very poorly) One two cha-cha-cha. Three four cha-cha-cha. Mandy Moore's a whore cha-cha-cha. Five,six. cha-cha-cha. Seven Eight cha-cha-cha. She ain't so great cha-cha-cha. Nine, ten cha-cha-cha. Eleven, twelve, cha-cha-cha. Can't think of anything that rhymes with twelve cha-cha-cha. Suddenly a skinny to point of being emaciated, young man in an Audioslave t-shirt and baggy jeans slinks onto the scene. YOUNG MAN Uh...excuse me. Always an outgoing sort, Alix has no qualms about grabbing her visitor's arm and enlisting him as her dance partner. YOUNG MAN Al...aix? ALIX That's my name cha-cha-cha, don't wear it out cha-cha-cha. What's your name cha-cha-cha? YOUNG MAN Um, I got an invitation for you. ALIX An invitation cha-cha-cha? For me you say cha-cha-cha? That is odd cha-cha-cha? What's it for cha-cha-cha? YOUNG MAN Why don't you open it and see cha-cha-cha? I mean why don't you open it and see? The youngster digs his grimy hands into his pocket and presents Alix with the mysterious invitation. Smiling broadly, she rips through the envelope in order see where exactly her presence is requested ALIX Dear Alix Maria Spezia, you have been cordially invited...Wow! Freaking awesome, dudes! I've never been cordially invited anywhere! Well except for the time Krista cordially invited me to throw myself in front of a speeding truck after she found out I was selling her underwear to the local neighboorhood boys. And the time I was cordially invited to courthouse to testify as a witness for the prosecution in my step brother's trail. I tried to tell him that he may fool the inhabitants of the trailer park into believing the dead body in the front lawn is some kind of new age scarecrow, but the FBI is just a wee bit smarter then our NASCAR loving, mouth breathing, paint drinking neighboors, who are used to being greeted by a federal crime scene when they step onto their front porch. But other then all that I've never been cordially invited anywhere in the whole wide world! And now I've been cordially invited to...hey, where have I been cordially invited to? YOUNG MAN Read some more and find out. ALIX (reading) To celebrate the birthday of Alix Maria Spezia. Wow! Freaking awesome, dudes! I've been cordially invited to celebrate the birthday of someone with the same stupid first name as me! I never thought I'd meet someone who's parents were big enough pricks to name them Alix with an i and not an e. YOUNG MAN Uh....I think the party's for your birthday ALIX My birthday? Holy crap! That's like a million, trillion times more freaking awesome, dudes! YOUNG MAN Yeah, real cool. Alix takes a moment to ponder what this all means on a deeper, existential level, and comes up with a most startling conclusion. One that is sure to shake the foundation of the OAOAST to it's mu'fuckin core. ALIX Waaaaaaait a second! My birthday is in December! I know what this means... MAN (nerovusly) You do? ALIX Yeaaaaaah. MAN Really? ALIX It means my time machine really, really worked! I'm in the future! The future, Conan? The future! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Krista said aluminum foil, empty cereal boxes, back issues of Home and Garden magazine, and my mother's bras wouldn't be enough to defy the laws of the space/time continuum. But who's laughing now, best friend from the future? Who's laughing now? The answer is none of us are laughing currently. But I'm gonna start laughing in about three seconds. One. Two. Three. GO! HAHAHAHA! You know, back in my time, whereas a woman like Krista was forced to get by solely on the basis of her sweet, sweet, tush, I, Alix Maria Spezia, was revered as a leading purveyor of intellectual thought. A true revolutionary in the fields of academia, chemistry, and literature. My limitless intelligence was heralded in lands both near and far. My words of wisdom were as valuable as a thousand dollar bill and as plentiful as a mere penny. And if I, history's most treasured scholar, could impart one piece of advice to the daughters and sons of the future it would be, never wear a g-string and coconut bra to your Grandmother's funereal, it may seem like a good idea, but your family will never, ever, ever forgive you! YOUNG MAN Yo, I'm not from the future! Look, you're a big and famous celebrity, and you celebs live on your own planet. So I guess you don't have a lot of time for the little people in the OAOAST apparently. But they really wanted to celebrate your twenty eighth birthday, but they never got the chance. So with you being here tonight, they figured it would be a great time to throw a party for you. ALIX They're a month late! YOUNG MAN That's just shows how much they love you round here ALIX Well it's like you say, shirts, shoes, knees, socks, everyone knows that Alix rocks! YOUNG MAN I never said that before. ALIX Who's one month too late birthday is it?! YOUNG MAN Shirts, shoes, knees, socks, everyone knows that Alix rocks! Hey, uh, I know exactly where the party is at, so can I walk you there? ALIX Is my name Jodie Foster? YOUNG MAN No. ALIX Then what the hell did I steal her social security number for? Well, you can escort me anyway. Come on, creepy and unusually suspicious person who I just met, let's go-go-go! Despite the fact the boy is an obvious sub human piece of filth, trustworthy Alix hooks her arm between his and skips down the hall, as he leads her along. After several seconds, and several bad knock-knock jokes by chirpy Alix, the pair reach their destination. YOUNG MAN Alright, you're here, have a kick ass time. ALIX Aren'tcha coming inside? YOUNG MAN Um...it's not really my scene. You have fun though. ALIX Awww! You gotta come! It just isn't Vegas without you! Actually, it isn't Vegas with you either, but you still gotta come! YOUNG MAN I'm cool, but thanks for the invite. ALIX Well, okie dokie, artichokie. Thanks for the trip, babe, I'll bring you a slice of cake when I'm done! Alix passes a wink to the young man before stepping into her birthday bash. The shady character takes up position in front of the door, his eyes nervously patrolling the landscape for sights of suspicious and troublesome passerbys. Suddenly we hear a piercing shriek from behind the closed doors. It's quickly followed by the thunderous sound of glass crashing against the floor. The sound scape becomes polluted with chaos and dread when a voice that's distinctly Alix's bellows out for help. There's a frantic rasping at the door, no doubt Alix making a panic stricken bid to escape whatever despicable monstrosity is pursuing her. However the young guard remains stern, holding the lone escape route closed, leaving Alix to fend for herself against these vile attackers. Soon the noise of her rasping is overwhelmed by that of her stabbing cries of agony. The ice hearted guard holds firm in the face of her heart wrenching pleas for help, even as the sound of her lightweight body being violently slammed against the door becomes the prevalent noise in the area. The mood further decreases into one of bitter sorrow as the harrowing sound of steel chairs crashing into raw flesh is picked up by the cameras in front of the door. As the metal tears through her skin, Alix elicits horrible moans of misery, tears no doubt streaking down her face. Eventually the savage punishment leaves her so weakened that all her chilling screams merely die as a high pitched bubbling in her throat. And soon her voice becomes nonexistent, leaving a sinister air of silence to settle over this woebegotten area. VOICE FROM BEHIND THE DOOR Let us out! Recognizing the voice as that of his master, the young man quickly rips open the door. Stepping into the hallway like beasts exiting the gates of hell, are the deplorable Sooner Bruisers. They stand tall, brimming with pride, and with their white Ohio State t-shirts decorated with specks of blood. Uber slams the door behind him, preventing the camera from getting a shot of Alix's horrid condition. BIG FRANK That was some birthday party, little bro. I always said any man who'd rather beat a woman then screw one is a moron, but The Man of Tomorrow just got himself the best of both worlds. UBER Heh. I almost feel bad for the girl. BIG FRANK (yelling for no reason) You going soft on me?! UBER I said almost. YOUNG MAN (stepping between the two men) Yo, guys, hate to interrupt a pair of legitimate sociopaths, but how about you show me that money you owe me? I'd be very thankful if you dropped that twenty bucks on me. BIG FRANK Thankful? You oughta be thankful we don't drag you into that room, kick your crooked yellow teeth out your mouth, break every bone in your little body, and have you sharing an ambulance with that airheaded whore, Alix Spezia. Now, get the hell outta here, and be thankful we ain't makin' you leave on a stretcher! UBER Owwww owwwww owwwwww! Not needing to be asked twice, the unscrupulous character scurries off before the Bruisers can make good on their threat. The loathsome brothers exchange high fives before exiting the scene. With nothing left for us to look at, we're taken back to the announce team. COLE Good god. Is there anyone on earth more disgusting then The Bruisers? I don't know many times I can say that these men have crossed the line. They just keep on committing these heinous acts, and nothing is ever done about it. Folks, Krista isn't at the arena yet, but when she gets here, someone is going to pay. COACH Yo, I agree, them dudes is out of control. But ain't no one gonna slow they role, especially not a thirty five year old celebrity fitness instructor. Krista needs to stay on Oprah preaching a healthy lifestyle to bored and lonely housewives and stay outta the yard where the real dogs at. And why isn't she in the arena, ain't nothing special about homegirl that she can show up twenty minutes after the show started. All truth. All the time. Johnathan Coachman. You already know, nigga. COLE What the hell did you just say? COACH .......I really couldn't tell you. “YOU DA MAN WAYNE!!” Bruce yells as he applauds his brother’s actions, as the only one in the arena. Wayne pulls Matt back up and whips the helpless Enhancement Talent into the corner. After doing a quick “Beer drinking” hand gesture The Drunken Dragon takes a running start towards Myers and then NAILS him with a handspring back elbow. *WHACK!!* Bruce leaps up on the apron and high fives Wayne as the Drunken Dragon does a victory lap around the ring. Bruce’s celebration doesn’t last long though as a figure in a black sweatsuit comes out from the back and pulls Bruce off the apron. “That’s… that’s ZACK MALIBU!!” Mak yells out as he realizes that Bruce’s OAOAST enemy just pulled the big man off the apron. “What’s this jackass doing here? He needs to stick to his own match later tonight!” The Suicide King complains. Zack spins Bruce around and then *WHAM!!* SCHOOL’S OUT SUPERKICK~! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! The crowd goes crazy as Bruce hits the mat like a ton of bricks. Wayne rushes over to the side of the ring and yells at Zack but only gets a two figure salute in return as Zack stands over the prone Bruce Blank. Wayne walks backwards while still cursing out Zack Malibu, backwards right into ROLL UP FROM MATT MYERS!! ONE!! ”Alright cut that shit RIGHT NOW!” An angry Blank growls as he steps into the arena with a microphone already in hand. “You better enjoy it now Blank, you won’t be around after AnglePalooza” Cole says as the leader of the Wildcards stops under the Angle-Tron. BLANK SUCKS!! BLANK SUCKS!! BLANK SUCKS!! “I don’t know who the hell arranged for that footage but I can assure you they spent a lot of money on editing it to make me look bad” Bruce says trying to disassociate himself with what was just shown. “That’s not true at all, it was unedited footage fans” Coach reassures. “Bah not important, what *IS* important is that in ten short days Zack Malibu will no longer be a part of the OAOST” Bruce says and laughs. “But I’m a kind man, I’m a generous man” “Since when” Coach interjects, safe in the knowledge that Bruce can’t actually hear him. “It must be disheartening for Zack to know that he’s only got 10 more days on the gravy train, 10 more days of getting that sweet, sweet OAOAST check and then… well then it’s the unemployment line or working for curtain jerking wages in the SWF” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! “Yeah I think it’s a shame they don’t pay better!” Bruce says intentionally misunderstanding why the fans boo his comments. “Since I am the guy that will put you out of the OAOAST for good, the man that will take the food out of your family’s mouths I do feel partly responsible for what happens after AnglePalooza.” Bruce stops, then he pulls off his black T-Shirt to reveal a second t-shirt underneath that says “I forced Zack Malibu out of the OAOAST and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt” F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! Bruce grins, the more they boo him the more he enjoys it. After the chants have simmered down a bit Bruce continues. “So Zack, welcome to “This will be your life!” Bruce says as the theme to “This is your Life” plays in the background “Tonight we won’t examine your life so far, instead we’ll look ahead and see what waits for you after AnglePalooza – what sort of life Malibu can expect” “Oh give me a break!” Cole says with contempt in his voice. “The first thing I thought of was that maybe you would open up your own wrestling school, after all as they say “if you can’t do, teach” Bruce says with a grin as an obviously photoshopped picture of Zack Malibu in grey sweats standing alone in the middle of a dirty, run down, dusty gym. “But honestly Zack what can *YOU* teach anyone?” Bruce adds with a smirk. “I mean after I’m done with you the only thing you’ll be an expert at would be Canvases, light fixtures and losing to Bruce Blank!!” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! “And honestly I don’t think people will want to pay to learn about THAT!” Blank says and then laughs. After a few chuckles at Zack’s expense he resumes his little monologue. “Now that we’ve established that you wouldn’t make a dime teaching wrestling I think we should move on to your next career option, gotta keep baby Malibu fed after all” “Oh that’s a low blow from Bruce” Cole complains. “It’s what we’ve come to expect from this cracka’” “How about something more suitable Zack? Considering the people you hang around with… the trash you talk… I think this might be more suitable for you.” The image on the Angle-Tron switches to a picture of Zack Malibu hanging off the back of a trash truck covered in crap (again obviously photo shopped) “I’ve checked and you don’t have to be that smart to get a job as a “Sanitation Engineer” there, which is your luck. After all just how smart is it for you to repeatedly challenge me only to get whooped every time out? It’s obvious you need something that’s not too challenging for your little pea brain Zack!” Bruce laughs, then he stops mid-laugh like he just remembered something. “Oh wait, wait – it’s not going to work though is it? I’ve heard you time and time again that you are going to take out the trash… yet I haven’t seen that happen” Bruce smirks “So despite the job being a total no brainer you’re still not skilled enough to do it!” F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! “Hey it’s not my fault he’s not really able to do ANYTHING right! But Zack I feel for ya, I really do – you done fucked up and put your career on the line and now… well now you’re screwed. I’m sure there is one thing out there that you can do… there’s got to be something that doesn’t require skills… or brains… hmmmmm but what? Bruce strokes his chin as if he’s thinking really hard “Oh I got it” he says as he snaps his fingers “Zack I think I got it – if you can repeat this phrase then I think I finally thought of a job you are qualified to do” Bruce pauses as the picture changes “Welcome to McDonald’s can I take your order” And yes that IS a picture of Zack Malibu behind a McDonald’s counter wearing their ugly uniforms F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! F*CK YOU BRUCE!! “Don’t worry Zack I’ve gotten you an application form and everything, I can even help you fi--" But Bruce’s diatribe is cut short when Zack Malibu comes darting out from the back tackling Bruce to the ground as his fists fly everywhere they can physically go YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! F*CK HIM UP ZACK F*CK HIM UP!! *Clap!Clap!-Clap!* F*CK HIM UP ZACK F*CK HIM UP!! *Clap!Clap!-Clap!* Unfortunately the fans don’t get what they want as the OAOAST security swarm in to separate the two hot heads. “We better go to a commercial break” Cole interjects. The last thing we see before fading to some lame commercial break is Zack tearing himself away from the Security guards and leaps on top of Blank once more. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 (edited) COLE Well, welcome back to HeldDOWN folks. A wild situation before the break between Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank has been defused, at least for now. These two men are showing what hatred truly is about. COACH And it all ends at Anglepalooza in Survive or Surrender. Thank God. The unbridled female fury of Britt Black's dedication to the party life Nighttime powers it's way into the sold out venue. The audience, who's never heard this song on OAOAST television before, looks on with silent confusion. Yet their silence is quickly replaced with braying cheers when they witness Krista Isadora Duncan's MTV worthy entrance video appear on the video screen. The woman herself storms onto the stage, a look of total outrage contorting her facial features. Outfitted in a pair of Rock N Republik Light washed jeans, and Topless California t-shirt, featuring a shimmering Tiger graphic, she heads to the ring, ignoring the throng of fans chanting her name. Her tag team title is clasped around her waist, and a half full bottle of Jack Daniels is held tightly in her hand. COACH What number beer do you think she's on? Six? Seven? It's been a bad night so I'm gonna say eight. Hey, honey, this is HeldDOWN, not happy hour at girlbar@Ultra Suede, put the bottle down, sister! Krista enters the squared circle, and angrily demands a microphone. The production assistants quickly meet her request, unwilling to incur her sizable wrath. KRISTA Uber, Frank, I'm gonna make this short, but certainly not sweet; if you think you can leave my one and only Alix, a shivering, weeping, emotional and physical wreck and go on about your day without having to make a cameo appearance in the ICU, then as Judas Priest would sing, you got another thing coming! You must have constipation of the brain to think you could've gotten away with hurting her, hurting me, like that. Well, consider ol' Krista the cure for your constipation, because kind of like diarrhea, I'm about to bring you some shit you just aren't ready for. See, the night is still young but I'm already tired of your crap, so do a grumpy old woman a favor, save her the trouble of having to hunt you down backstage, and come on out to the ring, because you need your asses checked ASAP! Frankenstein comes pouring through the sound system, provoking a heated round of boos from the audience. Many fans rise to their feet, eagerly anticipating a showdown between champion and challengers. However, several seconds pass without an appearance from the despised villains. The production department has no choice but to cut the music, leaving the audience's groans as the primary noise. Krista simply smiles to herself, which isn't a good thing, because Krista only smiles when she's about to hurt some body. KRISTA Okay, West Virgina, I think I get it, they're tough actin' kind of like Tinactin. But in reality these guys are about as brave as Scooby and Shaggy. They'll trick my precious Alix into believing she's having a birthday party-one month too late-, and get a degenerate coke fiend to stand guard, while they jump her from behind close doors, but when I start making threats, they're more scarce then pork on a Muslim's plate. They won't meet me in the ring, because they know I'll turn their heart into a deadbeat, kind of like my kid's father. But ya know what? I'm a very resilient gal, I'm kind of stubborn, bull headed, if you will, and I never take no for answer. So, I'm going to extend another invite to our Oklahoman pals, but this time I'm going to ask in my nicest, sweetest, most adorable little princess voice. Are you ready? Okay! KRISTA (in a high pitched voice that you might use when talking to a child) Little bitches, little bitches, please come down and play. Little bitches, little bitches, oh, how I missed you today. Little bitches, little bitches, I just want to play. Little bitches, little bitches please come down today. Why do I call you “Little Bitches”? Because I forgot your names, so I'll call you what you're acting like. “OOOOOOH” Once again Frankenstein assaults the ears of viewers worldwide. While one half of the crowd chants Krissy's name the other turns their attention toward spewing venom at the Bruisers. Unfortunately the targets of their ire neglect to show up, further drawing Kris' ire. Once the music cuts away, she raises the microphone up to hot pink lips to speak. KRISTA Uber, I've been called more names then I can count by more people then I care to remember, but I've never in my life been labeled a coward. So maybe you can satisfy my burning curiosity and come down here and tell me what it's like to front like your hard, then hide for your worthless life when you get called on it. How can you live with yourself, walking around, pretending to be something you're not? What kind of example are you setting for the disenfranchised inner city youth of America? I mean, let's really talk about this, honestly, and earnestly. We as a people have to address the false image that you're perpetuating on international television. How can you lie and say you're a bad ass when you barely stand five foot six and need a bar stool just to get up to my waist. I'm wondering how tough you can really be, when you gotta book a flight on Orbitz just to be able to hit me in the face. Frank brags about his muscles, and the women he taps, but how can he ignore the fact that his brother still shops at Baby Gap. I see why you're so nasty, Uber. I'd be pretty mean to if I was thirty years old and still couldn't ride the tea cups at Disney World. But, Uber, I'll tell you this, I'm very happy for you. I'm happy that the OAOAST gave you work after your last Hollywood movie role feel off. The audience looks confused! “What movie role?” they ask. Why don't you come out here and tell them if you were Grumpy, Sneezy, Dopey or Doc? “OOOOOH” COACH Hold on now, I happen to know for a fact that Uber's biography on OAOAST.com lists him at five foot eleven inches. COLE It also lists you as a competent, insightful, and well educated addition to the OAOAST announce team. Point being: wrestling website does not equal accurate source of information. COACH Krista thinks that all her taunts can provoke the Bruisers into running into the ring and fighting her, and she's probably right. But she has no idea what she's getting herself into right now. She just keeps digging her hole deeper and deeper to the point where she won't ever be able to climb out of it. KRISTA And as for you Big Frank, The Man of Tomorrow who might not even live to see tomorrow, I didn't forget about you old buddy! You fancy yourself as an angel of pleasure, similar to Cobain you take all the ladies straight to Nirvana. Now, I know this company is populated by men so stupid they don't even remember to unzip their pants when they stand in front of the toilet, but who do you think you're fooling, Franklin? We read through your lies like Aristotle through Cat in the Hat. You're no Don Juan, my good man, you'd have to GHB a blowup doll to get it in bed with you. Everyone knows that you couldn't get your dick wet if you skinny dipped in the Pacific ocean! Frank, I hate to be the one to break it to you, actually I take that back, I love to be the one to break it to you, but the truth is, I've gotten more ass on accident then you ever got on purpose! Now, Franklin, as Miss Celo and her psychic friends look into their crystal balls, they see exactly what's going on backstage, you're overturning tables, you're breaking monitors, you're roughing up prepubescent stage hands, and you're screaming that I'm a motherf**king whore. Well, Frank, considering that Mama Bruiser paid my bed a little visit last night, I guess that does make me a motherf**ing a whore. Krista puts on expression of mock innocence, asking if she said something wrong. The West Virginians don't seem to think so, loudly cheering her scathing attack. COACH That did it! That did it! No way the Bruisers take all this from some alcoholic lipstick butch! COLE I never knew you so versed in GLBT slang, Coach. The crowd's cheers are quickly replaced with boos, and more then a few warnings of "look out" directed towards Krista. Who has drawn the fans' ire as well as their worry? Who else but Uber Bruiser, positioned behind Krista, snorting like a rabid pitbull, ready to pounce upon his foe. But Krista is well prepared for his attack, she whirls around to meet the oncoming canine with her beer bottle! Tiny shards of glass explode around the battleground, mingling with drops of liquor and specks of Uber's blood. 'YEAAAAAA!” screams the crowd, as a disoriented Uber staggers about the ring. Krista unhooks her title belt from her waist, then charges forward, seeking to imprint the nameplate onto his oversized forehead. But Uber has the wherewithal to duck her attack, and she and her glittering gold belt go sailing past. However he's not quite out of the woods yet, and Krista gives him a painful reminder of this fact, by slamming the metal plate into his mullet covered head. The throng of outdated hair does nothing to cushion the blow, and he erupts with a tortured howl before his massive frame falls into the ropes. Miss California waves her hands into the air, whipping the capacity crowd into a raucous frenzy, before zipping towards the other side of the ring. Unfortunately the exact second she reaches the center of the squared, she's floored by a devastating Soonerline from Big Frank! COLE Damn him! “BRUISERS SUCK! BRUISERS SUCK!” sings the audience. COACH Be careful what you wish for, Krista. Frank ignores the river of hatred cascading around him, instead focusing his attention on pulverizing Krista. He decimates her upper body with a barrage of stomps, while his younger brother sets out to cripple her legs with a stream of knee of strikes. Spurred on by chants of “K-I-D! K-I-D!”, Krista makes every last effort to fight to her feet. However she's frustratingly unable to make it past the wave of brutal strikes being unleashed by her enemies. All she can do is cover her face and pray that someone will rescue her from this horrific beating. “ROCKERS! ROCKERS! ROCKERS!” sing the audience, begging the Rock N Wrestling soldiers to make an appearance. The audience's dream materializes into reality, when Logan Mann and Synth Esizer come storming down the ramp! Outfitted in black leather pants an an unbuttoned white shirt, Logan Mann has armed himself with a crimson V shaped guitar. His partner, wearing faded jeans, has chosen to come to war with a pair drum sticks and an unquenchable thirst for violence. COLE Yes! Yes! The Heavenly Rockers! The Heavenly Rockers! The repugnant duo in the ring fail to share in Cole's pleasure, and eye their oncoming enemies with anmialisitc glares. The intimidating look does nothing to ward off Logan and Synth, who charge into the ring to meet their archrivals. The now standing fans spew forth a deafening roar as the boys from Vegas prepare to wage war on the demons from Sooner Country. Logan attempts to draw first blood by swiping his instrument at Big Frank. But the weapon is so heavy that he's unable to build up much speed, permitting Frank to sweep beneath it. The Man of Tomorrow winds up behind Mann, where he sets him up for a side Russian leg sweep. But Esizer rescues his long time friend by beating a tune onto the muscle bound creature's head. Stunned and annoyed, Frank lets Logan go free to attend his mounting headache. This turns out to be a mistake of epic proportions as Logan grabs onto his bleached blond hair, and chucks him over the ropes! The Man of Tomorrow gruesomely splatters onto the mats bellow, generating a gargantuan pop from the audience. Meanwhile Uber tries to turn the tables on his aggressors. But before he can even can think of volleying a single strike, Synth takes the drumsticks and JABS THEM INTO HIS EYES! Uber emits a blood curdling scream of raw pain, while the crowd openly delights in his horror. Fortunately for his health, Big Frank recovers just in time to pull him out of the ring and into the safety of his arms. “ROCK N WRESTLING! ROCK N WRESTLING! ROCK N WRESTLING!” “It ain't over, Rockers! It ain't never gonna be over!” Frank bellows, as he backs up the ramp, clutching his wounded head. Uber is too worried about his searing eyes to do much more then weakly shake his fist at his victorious foes. Synth responds to the Bruisers' threats by leaning over the ropes and howling, “Owwwww owwwww owwwww!” For the moment, Uber forgets all about his terrible pain and makes a bid to head back to the ring to pummel Synth as punishment for the mocking. But Frank holds him back, assuring him that the Rockers' time will come soon enough. With The Bruisers taken care of, The Rockers check on Krista's condition. She seems less then grateful to have been saved by a man, and makes a half hearted attempt to convince them she was merely lulling the brutes into a false sense of security. Her little “independent woman” spiel assures Synth and Logan that her pride is hurt more then her body, and they eagerly help her to her upright. Once again she protests their aid, informing them that she doesn't need any help in standing on her own to feet. The crowd, seeing Krista appear to be somewhat healthy, salutes her bravery with an enormous round of applause. COLE Lot of respect goes out to the Heavenly Rockers for doing the right thing. Coach, The Bruisers say that wrestling is a long standing tradition in their family dating back to the turn of the twentieth century. They say they respect the sport. I think over these past three weeks we've seen that all that talk of respect is a steaming load of garbage. They don't respect anything or anyone. If they respected this sport, then they wouldn't go out of their way to attack and injure their fellow athletes. That's not what respectful people do. I don't have the words to even describe what I feel about The Bruisers. COACH Good. The show gets better and the better the less and less you talk. COLE I love you too, partner. UP NEXT: More Anderson Cup action! Commercial break Edited January 19, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 (edited) COLE We are back on HeldDOWN and we're set for our second Anderson Cup first round match. To call this one, we're going to throw it over to our own broadcasting tag team, Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. We pan over to the announce table to Sofa Central's left where the duo sits. TONY Thank you Michael Cole and hello fans, Tony Schiavone with you again along with Jesse Ventura as we are set to call this MWC Conference first round contest. VENTURA We saw Los Diablos Del Fuego advance earlier over Team Canada. How these guys lucked out of the first round AGAIN I couldn't tell you. TONY To make matters worse for Team Canada, Ken Pantera has suffered some kind of knee injury. We do not know the severity, but we should have an update on OAOAST.com in the next 24 hours. "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a First Round Match in the 2007 Anderson Cup! To the dual noises of AC/DC's "Money Talks" and Charleston, West Virginia's "BOO! Go home scum, we hate you!", Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker emerge for some Anderson Cup action. Moneymaker in his white smoking jacket and Wright with his red polyester number look every bit the dapper socialites, accompanied of course by Mackenzie DeCenzo who applauds the duo. BUFFER Coming down the aisle, accompanied to the ring by The Enterprise's Chief Financial Officer, MACKENZIE DECENZO! At a total combined weight of four hundred and sixty two pounds. Representing The Enterprise... the number three seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR", THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Handing his briefcase and jacket to Mackenzie, Wright rolls into the ring and already reads referee Charles Robinson the riot act. Moneymaker pulls away his entrance garb meanwhile and enters. No laugh, no "money fingers", just a look of determination. VENTURA There you are Schiavone, the rightful World Tag Team Champions of the World! SCHIAVONE I think there'd be a few people who'd disagree with that. Like Chicks Over Dicks. And The Sooner Bruisers. But regardless of that, HeldDOWN~! continues and so does the 2007 Anderson Cup. The number three seeds, Moneymaker and Wright, set to take on The Love Doctors with the lure of a spot in the Conference Semi Finals and a match against America's Team for the winners. VENTURA You know, these guys shouldn't even be in this position. First off, they should be the Tag Team Champions right now and would be, if not for that debacle in the Tag Team Turmoil. And secondly, failing that, Moneymaker and Wright would have been the number two seeds, if not for a stupid decision. SCHIAVONE Jesse, they're number three seeds on merit. They tried to buy America's Team off and take their seeding... VENTURA And those apple-pie eating collegiates turned them down. Which was a stupid decision! *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" "Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)" by Robert Palmer set off the sirens in the arena, not to mention playing out The Doctors Of Doctornomics! Clad in their white lab coats and with the stethoscope and clipboard at hand in case of a medical emergency, The Love Doctors make good on the other half of their name as they loving remove the coats and let the ladies in attendance view a full body scan! BUFFER And introducing their opponents! At a total combined weight of four hundred, thirty six pounds! Both hailing from Chicago, Illinois... the number six seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... DR. STEVEN PIGLEY and DR. MAX ANDERSON... THE LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOVVEEEE DDOOOOOCCTTOOOORRRRRSSSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Docs make their way to the ring, slapping hands like any good wrestler who cares about their fans should. Watching on from the ring, Moneymaker is clearly unimpressed as he sneers at the crowd pleasing tactics. SCHIAVONE It's The Anderson Cup and I'm sure Dr. Anderson would love more than most to have that accolade on his CV. One of the few Andersons in wrestling not to be an illegitimate member of the Anderson family, but a proud Anderson nonetheless. VENTURA I can't begin to tell you how little that means. In slide The Docs and the fans go wild, Moneymaker and Wright giving their opponents plenty of room to pose as they exit the ring for a quick business meeting with Mackenzie on the floor. After coming up with their business plan The Enterprise trio adjurn, with Christian apparantly the man to start as he rubs his hands at the prospect of action. SCHIAVONE Well, what does mean something is The Love Doctors' ability. Just about a year, their reign as HI-YAH Tag Team Champions lasted and now their sights are set on the OAOAST's tag straps. VENTURA Listen, I'm not gonna take anything away from these guys. They've got a lot going for them. But 'Money Talks' and if these guys are Doctors, chances are they ain't got much of it left! *DINGDINGDING!* Bell sounds and Christian Wright lurks on the apron, biding his time as The Docs finally get themselves together. It'll be Dr. Pigley attending, or beginning the match to strip it of all puns, moved back by referee Robinson as Wright insists on some space before he will enter. Of course, that's all part of the plan, Wright waiting on Pigley to impatiently brush Robinson aside and catching him with a thumb to the eyes behind the referee's back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE No prizes for guessing why you're big fans of The Enterprise. VENTURA Hey, I'm a sucker for the classics, what can I say? Wright goes to work with forearms across the shoulder blades, beating Pigley down as the referee is none the wiser to the shortcut. Pulling Pigley upright, Wright then shoots him into the ropes with an irish whip and cuts him down with a back elbow which lead to a quick pin attempt... 1... ...which doesn't get him too far, Pigley out at one. Wright keeps hold of The Doc though and drags him to the corner, making the tag to Moneymaker before pinning Pigley's arms behind his back. That leaves him helpless as Teddy steps in, driving a bodyshot into Dr. Pigley's unprotected stomach. A couple more bodyshots then find the mark, followed up with an overhand across the back that sends Steven slumping to his knees. VENTURA I tell ya what, one thing Tag Turmoil has done is fired up Teddy and Christian by the looks of things. They've come out of the traps quickly tonight, that's for sure. With Pigley knelt before him like a common peasant, The Billion Dollar Heir rears back and boots him hard in the chest to drop him the rest of the way to the canvas. Almost too easy for Teddy, placing one shiny green boot on Pigley's chest for the cover... 1... ...and again, Pigley is out at one. SCHIAVONE That type of pin simply isn't going to get it done. VENTURA Just a little showmanship, nothing wrong with that Schiavone. Another quick tag is made by The Enterprise duo, Moneymaker bringing Pigley back to his feet while his partner joins him. An irish whip from Theodore sets up the fist to the gut, doubling Dr. Pigley over as Wright comes off the other side with a Million $ Kneelift! A wry smile creeps over Theodore's face as he congratulates CW on the choice of move. Not wise in mid-match though, as Dr. Pigley has tumbled back towards his corner, allowing Dr. Anderson to tag himself in! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" MONEYMAKER THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY BABY! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MO... Making the most of the opportunity while it's with him, Dr. Anderson storms in like an early HOUSE OF FIRE! Or, should that be Hospital Of Fire? Whatever. Point is he's hot and he's legal and that's always a good combination. Anderson runs in and knocks down Moneymaker with a forearm, before turning in Wright direction and landing a dropkick! SCHIAVONE Well that was dumb. That was showmanship that came back to bite The Enterprise and the early work is undone already! Out of the ring rolls Teddy, leaving his partner to Anderson who puts all his leverage behind an irish whip. Back comes Wright and he goes up towards the lights with a HIGH BAAAACK bodydrop, Dr. Anderson firing up the crowd as CW rolls to his knees and looks for a timeout. Not happening though, as Anderson pulls Wright to his feet and turns him towards the corner he retreated to... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" ...wait for it... "TEN!" Eyes rolling, Wright collapses back against the turnbuckles as Anderson grabs the arm, giving a quick shoulder to the gut in executing an irish whip corner to corner. CW hits the buckles hard and comes stumbling out as Dr. Anderson comes back off the ropes, a spinning back elbow knocking Wright off his feet once again. Before he can get up this time, he's pinned down by the adrenaline fueled Anderson... 1... 2... Quick kickout! Dr. Anderson helps Wright on the way up to his feet, rocking him with a forearm, a second and a final third. With a quick 360 Anderson then whips a Kobashi Backfist at The Natural... ...narrowly avoided by CW as he ducks low and tackles Anderson down with a double-leg takedown. Crossing over the legs, Wright then turns Dr. Anderson over before he has a chance to realise what's happening, into the Texas Cloverleaf! SCHIAVONE The Wallstreet Cloverleaf applied! What a sudden turning of the tide by Christian Wright! VENTURA That's the mark of a great wrestler right there. Even when he was in trouble, Wright was thinking and he saw an opening and exploited it. Not just that, he's got Anderson in a position where he could submit right here! Walking back with the hold, Wright increases the angle of Anderson's body to put him in even more discomfort. Anderson claws at the canvas and tries to crawl towards the ropes. First he manages to get his body a little flatter to the canvas which at least alieviates some of the pressure. Next is the crawl to the ropes. Wright tries to stand his ground, but the Doctor determinedly carries on crawling... AND REACHES THE ROPES! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" He may have escaped the submission but the effects mean Dr. Anderson is still at The Enterprise's mercy. The ropes Anderson reach happened to be closest to The Enterprise corner, allowing Wright to instantly tag out to Theodore Moneymaker. Moneymaker puts the boots to Anderson as soon as he enters the ring, only stopping to warn referee Robinson to 'back off' as he tries to reprimand The Billion Dollar Heir. "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" VENTURA Listen to these people, no class what-so-ever. Pulling Anderson to his feet, Moneymaker lands the bodyshots from earlier, this time to the other Doctor. A series of three leave Max slumped against the ropes, a knee to the gut added in for good measure. Moneymaker then measures Anderson up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...lashing him with a knifedge chop against the ropes! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and again! Irish whip follows from Teddy, dropping down to one knee as Dr. Anderson bounces back and catching him in the gut with an elbow. With Anderson doubled over, Moneymaker then performs a fancy spin, giving himself room to land the Billion $ Kneelift!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" After 'treating' the fans to the "money fingers" pose, Moneymaker finally follows up, hooking the leg for the cover... 1... 2... No! Moneymaker quickly latches on a rear chinlock to keep Dr. Anderson under control. SCHIAVONE And now The Enterprise trying to cut the ring in half on Dr. Anderson, as they tried and failed to do with Dr. Pigley. VENTURA Trying? Schiavone, they're not trying, they're succeeding. Look what half of the ring Anderson is in, look how far he is from the tag, Teddy has everything going his way now. On the outside Mackenzie watches on with her head nodding in approval, the trusty briefcase still clutched tightly to her chest. As Anderson is by Moneymaker, beginning to show signs of fight just as Teddy releases him and drops his knee right down the centre of the spine! And a second knee, before re-applying the chinlock, this time with a knee in the back for extra leverage. "LOVE DOC - TORS!" "LOVE DOC - TORS!" "LOVE DOC - TORS!" "LOVE DOC - TORS!" Sensing the crowd behind him, Anderson fights the effects of the hold and starts to pump his fists to try and get some adrenaline flowing. Moneymaker doesn't wait around for the fightback though and drills the knee into the back again, leaving Dr. Anderson behind as he quickly scampers to his corner and lets Christian Wright tag in. Before Max can get off his BUTT, Wright drops behind him with the point of the elbow down across the back of the head. A second time the elbow gets dropped before Wright brings Anderson back up to his feet. Slowly. No need to rush at the moment, CW able to measure the Doctor before landing a European Uppercut that packs enough force to fell Dr. Anderson again! VENTURA Great execution right there. It's amazing, the transformation Christian has made since he joined up with The Enterprise. He's always had the talent, but last year he rarely lived up to his billing until he had Theodore Moneymaker's backing. Financial and personal backing. Wright waits on Anderson now, guiding him to his feet... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and landing a knifedge chop on the Doctor! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...to which Dr. Anderson responds in kind! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop by Christian! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop by Anderson! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another by Anderson, the good Doctor taking over as he flails away with right hands! A succession of them, rocking The Natural, until finally Christian cuts him off with a knee delivered to the gut! Dr. Anderson falls backwards into The Enterprise's corner and Wright tags Moneymaker back in, The Billion Dollar Heir taking over with the knee placed in the throat of the Doc! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FO..." Moneymaker breaks the choke and drags Dr. Anderson out of the corner to his feet. Gutwrench, and a suplex, planting Dr. Anderson centre ring. Teddy follows up with the cover, keeping an eye out for Dr. Pigley... 1... 2... Kickout! Complaining about the count, Moneymaker takes his eye off of Dr. Anderson momentarily and almost allows him to crawl over and make the tag. Almost, but not quite. A kneedrop to the back of the head cuts Anderson short, Moneymaker pulling The Doctor Of Love back to his feet and levelling him with a Short Arm Clothesline! MONEYMAKER MUWAHAHAHAHA!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Theodore Moneymaker liking how this is going at the moment and clearly entitled to. VENTURA No doubt. He's got to keep his focus though, he won't be laughing so hard if he lets Anderson back into the match. Tag is made on The Enterprise side, Wright stepping in for his team now. Wright saunters over to Dr. Anderson and lands a boot to the side of the head. Another boot connects before Wright helps Anderson back to his feet. With a front facelock applied, CW takes Anderson up and over with a vertical suplex. With Dr. Anderson where he wants him, up to the middle rope goes Wright now, lining Max up for an elbow from the second floor... ...MISSES!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Christian splatters back-first into the canvas, causing Mackenzie to release the briefcase for the first time, her arms instinctively thrown up towards her head. Moneymaker curses the bad luck for a moment, before his attention turns to calling CW over to tag him back in. "LOVE DOC - TORS!" "LOVE DOC - TORS!" "LOVE DOC - TORS!" "LOVE DOC - TORS!" The crowd drown Teddy out though as they encourage Dr. Anderson on. Anderson is weary but with Wright crawling up behind him, reaching out for an ankle or a foot to cling onto, the Doctor knows he has to make a sudden move and tucks and rolls to his corner... ...AND MAKES THE TAG TO DR. PIGLEY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE One mistake and now, The Enterprise have allowed the fresh man in! Dr. Pigley, off call and into action! Rushing into the ring, Dr. Pigley deals with the threat of Theodore Moneymaker first as he runs the length of the ring and dropkicks him off the apron! Mackenzie rushes over to check on The Billion Dollar Heir, while Dr. Pigley keeps the foot on the accelerator. Weaving past Wright, the good Doctor springboards up to the middle rope and twists in mid-air, wiping CW out with a crossbody... 1... 2... No! Right back up is Dr. Pigley, waiting on Wright with a kick to the gut. A roundhouse catches Wright in the shoulder and he goes down to a knee, giving Dr. Pigley time to hit the ropes once more. No springboard this time, Pigley simply charging back at The Financial Analyst and knocking him down with a Spin Wheel Kick! PIGLEY PAGING DR. ANDERSON!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Just when The Enterprise must have thought 2007 couldn't have started any worse, they're on the verge of being knocked off right here! VENTURA And what an upset that would be! With Dr. Anderson paged, Pigley waits on The Natural to get back up. A back kick to the gut sets CW up, Dr. Pigley checking on his colleague's position before jarring Christian with an inverted atomic drop. Across the knee Wright stays as Dr. Anderson then rushes into view and NAILS him with a dropkick, completing the Lovematic Grampa and putting Christian in danger as Dr. Pigley floats through with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... NO! The Doctors Of Doctornomics get a second opinion from one another on what to do next. What results is Dr. Anderson spotting Moneymaker uneasily climbing back to his feet on the outside, grabbing the top rope and shooting himself out WITH A PESCADO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Meanwhile, that leaves the legal men in the match in the ring. Dr. Pigley looks to whip Wright into the corner but there's a reversal, sending the Doctor to crash into the turnbuckles instead. With a head of steam The Natural then follows in looking for an avalanche... but there's NOBODY home and Wright takes the turnbuckles hard, chest first! As he staggers out of the corner, Wright falls back into Pigley, who muscles him up and over with a back suplex. Out goes Dr. Pigley now, scaling up to the top rope as Christian re-collects himself and climbs back to his feet, unaware of where his opponent has disappeared to. Until, that is, his opponent comes plummeting out of the air with a front flip... ...and MISSES the target! Dr. Pigley just about catches himself before the landing does too much damage, but the worst is yet to come it seems, as Wright swings for him with a clothesline. The Doctor sees it coming though and catches the arm on his way underneath! An arm wringer keeps CW in check. And it then becomes useful for pulling The Natural in, a trip of the leg causing Wright to FLATLINE!! SCHIAVONE Flatliner! Wright face-first into the canvas and nobody to make the save! Rolling Wright onto his back, Dr. Pigley hooks the leg... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Before Wright can get back up, Pigley leaps to the other side of his body and backflips onto him with a Standing Moonsault!! Another hook of the leg... 1... 2... KICKOUT! VENTURA Christian's gotta mount some offence here. SCHIAVONE That's easier said than done right now, because Dr. Pigley is riding the gurney of momentum right now! With Wright on the rack, Pigley hits the ropes looking for one big shot to put him down. Unfortunately for him, that's just when Mackenzie DeCenzo springs into action, tripping Pigley's leg out from underneath him just as he bounces off the ropes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA I think the gurney just came off the rails. Dr. Pigley just about keeps his footing, wheeling around and pointing the finger at Mackie. Because he's a gentleman and a Doctor Of Love he does no more though, turning back to the action and finally getting his head of steam towards Christian. Who, by now, has recovered enough to scoop Pigley under the armpits and PLANT him with a Rydeen Bomb! VENTURA Wright Off! SCHIAVONE You can give the assist to Mackenzie DeCenzo if this does it... 1... 2... NO! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE ...and thankfully, it doesn't. VENTURA What do you mean thankfully? You're supposed to be un-bias out here, no wonder we got bumped out of the D*LUX match last week! SCHIAVONE The Anderson Cup is one of the OAOAST's finest traditions. Excuse me for wanting the team that progresses on and eventually wins the tournament to do so without resorting to cheap tactics like valets running interference for them. On the outside, Moneymaker and Dr. Anderson continue to battle it out, continuing to leave Christian and Dr. Pigley in the ring. Christian has Pigley in hand now though and clubs him over the back a couple of times with some overhand forearms. Another European Uppercut then lands, rolling Pigley inside out. Making it easier for Wright to roll him back up to his feet, sending Pigley across the ring with an irish whip. Wright ducks low and hoists Pigley up on his return, looking to back up for a Stun Gun... ...COUNTERED WITH A DDT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Both Christian and Steven are down, attention turning now to the outside where Moneymaker has the advantage on Dr. Anderson. A couple of right hands rock the Doc. But Anderson fires back, landing a right. Another right. And ano... DUCKED, and Monyemaker LOCKS HIM IN THE BANK VAULT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA He's got him Tony! SCHIAVONE But it's on the outside, so it won't win him the ma... *CLUNK!* "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" A sudden burst from Dr. Anderson allows him to escape the Bank Vault however, as he ducks out of the way just in time to send Moneymaker shoulder-first into the ringpost!! Moneymaker collapses to the ringside pads and Dr. Anderson quickly scrambles away, back into the ring. SCHIAVONE ...I think Theodore is OUT! Christian Wright is all alone with both Love Doctors now! VENTURA This isn't right, the referee needs to get Anderson out of the ring! But Charles Robinson doesn't, although he does tell Max he shouldn't be in. To hell with that though, this is the Anderson Cup, serious frikkin' business! And The Love Doctors can smell victory as Dr. Anderson picks Wright up into his arms with a bearhug, positioning himself with his back to the turnbuckles as Dr. Pigley heads up top! SCHIAVONE Christian is about to take a ride on the Gurney To The Centre Of The Earth! Pigley stops on the middle buckle to fire up the crowd. But that could prove a costly mistake, as Mackenzie DeCenzo sees that these are desperate times, calling for desperate measures, scrambling up onto the ring apron to take issue with referee Charles Robinson. SCHIAVONE Mackenzie DeCenzo interfering again, I'm begging referee Robinson to throw her out of here! Just incase the distraction doesn't prove enough, Mackie starts to violently shake the top rope in her protest, making life decidedly unsteady for Dr. Pigley and preventing him from making the final jump. In the meantime, Anderson's bearhug is broken as Wright lands a series of elbows down across the back of the neck. Wrapping his arms around the waist, The Natural then powers backwards and tackles Dr. Anderson into the corner, CROTCHING DR. PIGLEY IN THE PROCESS!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" VENTURA I hope they know someone who specialises in gynocology. Although, on appearances, I'm sure they do. Very well. By the hair, Wright disposes of Dr. Anderson, leaving just Pigley behind. Grabbing the head, Wright quickly pulls him down until just the ankles are draped over the top ring rope. With the arm over the head too, The Natural has Dr. Pigley all set up. And with a sudden twist of the upper body, he brings the Doctor down, the head compressing into the canvas from the elevated neckbreaker!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" SCHIAVONE He calls that The Conversion Rate! 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* VENTURA And that's gonna do it! Teddy and Christian advance on to the Conference Semi Finals! BUFFER Your winners of the match, advancing on in the 2007 Anderson Cup... CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Relieved to have come away with the victory, Christian rolls out of the ring and retrieves his briefcase. Mackenzie meanwhile helps the still shaken Moneymaker to his feet and The Enterprise look to make a quick getaway with the victory in the bag. SCHIAVONE Well, The Enterprise more than a little assistance from Mackenzie DeCenzo pull out the victory. It didn't look like they would for a lot of the match, The Love Doctors impressive here in Charleston, but I guess Money Talked here tonight. VENTURA That it did. And Moneymaker and Wright move on, to take on America's Team in the next round. Number two seeds against the would-be number two seeds, that should really be something in a couple of weeks time. The camera cuts to the backstage area. A door marked THE LIGHTNING CREW is shown. The crowd boos loudly. The door opens, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick come out. The crowd boos some more. PR and Popick hold their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts over their shoulders, and grin evilly. Popick cracks his knuckles. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN So, you ready? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Let's do it. PR and Popick high five, then laugh evilly. They walk to the gorilla position. The crowd boos. Cut to Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly walking to the gorilla postition with a PURPOSE~! Heat has his game face on, while Spanish Fly, wearing an all gold version of his wrestling attire tonight, looks serious too as he walks. The crowd cheers loudly. SCHIAVONE It's our main event of the evening as Stephen Popick and Tha Puerto Rican defend the HI-YAH Tag titles against Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly in a 2 out of 3 falls match! It's coming up next, right after this! Commercial break Edited January 19, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 (edited) "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix begins playing. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Here we go! Time for the 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match! The crowd stands up and starts booing. A lightning bolt hits the entrance just as the drums kick in. Smoke fills the entrance stage while strobe lights appear around the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke appear "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and his tag team partner Stephen Joseph Popick. The crowd boos louder. COACH Look at those two! Fit and ready to go! COLE They should be. They’ve got a big title defense coming up! P.R. plays his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt like a guitar, strumming to the tune of "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)". Stephen Joseph Popick stands on the entrance stage, wearing his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist and carrying PRL’s spray-painted black briefcase. Popick has a smirk on his face as he holds his arms out in a crucified position. *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* Popick turns around and grins evilly. PR and Popick laugh manically. The crowd boos some more. P.R.L. slings his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder, and then high fives his partner. P.R. motions for the two of them to walk to the ring. They do so, smirking and laughing along the way. COLE The Corporate Champion and the Most Hated Man In The OAOAST have held the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles since November 27, 2006. Now, tonight, on January 18, 2007, Popick and PRL will face what is perhaps their toughest challenge yet, Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat! COACH Oh you gotta be kidding me! Their toughest challenge yet? Have you even been WATCHING HeldDOWN~! these past few weeks? Colombian Heat is a wreck, Spanish Fly is 4’11". There’s no way they’re winning the Tag Team Titles tonight! This should be an easy title defense for Team Corporate! COLE Never underestimate the team of Fly and Heat. They’ve overcome the odds before, whose to say they won’t do it again? COACH 6 members of The Lightning Crew INCLUDING Princess Stacey! COLE Good point. PRL bobs his head to the beat of his entrance song, then climbs the ring steps to get onto the ring apron. He sneers at the crowd. At the same time, Stephen Joseph climbs the ring steps and scales a turnbuckle with one foot on the top turnbuckle pad. He scans the crowd and smirks. Popick hops into the ring and holds the ropes for Tha Puerto Rican to enter. He spins around; soaking in the jeers as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix continues playing. P.R. then places his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt in front of him and does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. Popick applauds his partner. COACH Look at that BEAUTIFUL pyro! Tonight IS a special night indeed! The Corporate Champ can put the nail in the coffin of Colombian Heat’s career! He’s damaged him enough these past 3 weeks, tonight, he goes in for the kill! PRL takes his belt and briefcase and heads over to a second turnbuckle where he raises both items over his head. The crowd boos. P.R. then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his belt and briefcase over his head again. COLE Will this be too much for Colombian Heat? He’s been through hell these past 3 weeks. Or can he survive and win 2 falls to become the new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions? COACH In his weed-influenced dreams. PR hits a third second turnbuckle and raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" a’la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the turnbuckle, removes his sunglasses, earring, and HBK-like entrance attire, and chats with Popick as the lights go back on in the arena. COLE This match could have alot of repercussions on Anglepalooza in 2 weeks. You know, PRL, Heat, and Fly are all entered in that match. COACH PRL is gonna win this match, win the Lethal Rumble, and then go to AngleMania VI and FINALLY, FINALLY become World Heavyweight Champion! This is his year. I can feel it! COLE Well, we’ve still got 12 months to go in 2007. COACH And you’ll see that I am right. By the end of the year, PRL WILL be World Champion! COLE Again, Coach, we shall see. COACH He will. COLE Coach. COACH He will. COLE COACH! Popick removes his bad ass shades and hands them over to a ringside attendant. P.R. hands his spray-painted briefcase over to the ringside attendant. P.R. and Popick both have their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts over their shoulders as they discuss strategy. COLE P.R. and Popick are ready to go. Are their challengers ready? "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of the babyfaces entrances. PRL and Popick sneer at the entrance, waiting for their opponents to arrive. COLE We could be moments away from new Tag Team Champions. COACH Or a successful title defense. COLE Either way, this should be a good match! A piano plays a melody causing the crowd to cheer loudly. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *COME ON!* *BOOM~!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes running out onto the stage, pumped up and ready to go! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Heat fires the crowd up. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. He then cups his ear like Hulk Hogan. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the arena, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. COLE Last week, Colombian Heat lost to Vitamin X. But this week, he seems to be in a better mood! COACH Yeah, you saw how he was taking advantage of poor Jade Rodez earlier tonight! COLE Taking advantage of her? Heat wasn’t doing anything like that! Sure, he was trying to hit on her, but he didn’t mean anything sinister by it! COACH Yes he did! He’s a thug! And thug’s only have one thing on their mind! COLE People hit on Jade all the time. Hell, YOU hit on her earlier today! What makes what Heat did wrong? COACH He’s not me. COLE Oh. Well, that explains it all, doesn’t it? Colombian Heat continues slapping hands with all the fans at ringside. He then climbs the ring steps and hops into the ring. Heat gets on the second and third ring ropes and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then dances his way onto a second turnbuckle, and throws up the "W" hand signal once again, receiving more cheers. Colombian Heat gets off the turnbuckle and calls for a microphone. "Gasolina (Remix)" continues playing. COACH Look at Heat. He’s not ready for this match! He’s dancing, and smiling, and being an idiot. Look at PRL, he’s got his game face on! COLE This is how Heat acts, Coach. He loves life. He’s just having a good time being out here! COACH Oh, don’t start that inspirational crap now! This is a title match! We gotta get serious now! Colombian Heat points to the entrance. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. COLE There’s only one more entrance left. COACH I hate this entrance more and more. The lights go down in the arena. Two spotlights shine on the entrance. After five seconds... *BOOM~!* Spanish Fly shoots out from underneath the entrance stage with pyro right behind him. Spanish Fly raises his right hand in the air causing the crowd to cheer. "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi starts playing as Spanish Fly points to both sides of the arena, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. COLE The shortest wrestler in the match, but he may just have the biggest heart! Spanish Fly had a good showing in the New Year’s Knock Out a few weeks ago, but now, his mind is focused on obtaining HI-YAH Tag Team gold! COACH The man is screwed. He’s gonna get killed. A 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match means TWICE the punishment and TWICE the pain! And for Spanish Fly’s little body, it’s going to be too much! And what’s with the gold outfit tonight? Does he seriously think he’s gonna win? Has he been smoking Heat’s weed? COLE Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat are full of confidence. You can’t deny that. COACH You’re right. Which is why it’ll be even sweeter when they lose to P.R./Popick! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Spanish Fly gives a youngster at ringside his black Spanish Fly visor, and then climbs the ring steps to enter the ring. Fly gets on a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air to cheers. Fly then gets off that turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air again, receiving another pop from the crowd. SF gets off the turnbuckle and high fives Colombian Heat, while PR and Popick stare at the two of them from outside of the ring. COLE Hold onto your seats, folks! Get ready for a barn burner! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick will defend the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles against Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly in just a few moments! COACH Yeah, and if their last match is any indication, then Heat and Fly will be the victims of either a Corporate Nightmare or a Finality. Or both. I’m hoping both. The lights go back on in the arena. Fly paces back and forth in the ring while Colombian Heat stands in the center ready to speak. COACH Awww, he’s still gonna speak!? "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi dies down. The crowd cheers. Spanish Fly gets the crowd fires up. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo! CROWD YO! HEAT Yo! CROWD YO! HEAT YO! CROWD YO! HEAT YO!!! CROWD YO!!! HEAT If all of y’all are ready to see me and mah homie, Spanish Fly, make those two Corporate BITCHES~! feel the Heat and become new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions...then West Virginia, make some noise UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH~!" Spanish Fly yells along with the rest of the crowd. He then removes his Spanish Fly pendant and T-shirt from around his waist and hands them over to a ringside attendant. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick get back into the ring. COLE Well, Colombian Heat looks ready to go. COACH That’s what you said last week, and looked what happened. COLE Oh yeah. COACH Score! Michael Buffer enters the ring. P.R./Popick talk strategy on one side, while Heat/Fly talk strategy on the other. The crowd is fired up, anxiously awaiting the start of this match-up. COLE Well, we’ve said all that we can say. Now, it’s time for the introductions. So, let’s go to Michael Buffer at ringside. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship! Your referee at the sound of the bell will be Earl Hebner. Introducing first, to my right, the challengers. (The crowd cheers.) At a total combined weight of 355 lbs. They are the #1 Contenders to the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles. COLOMBIAN HEAT AND SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat wave to the fans. Heat blows kisses. The crowd cheers loudly. COACH Suck ups. BUFFER And their opponents. At a total combined weight of 445 lbs. They are the reigning, and defending, undisputed HI-YAH Tag Team Champions of the worrrrrrlllllllllddddddddddddd! (Crowd boos louder) They are STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOO RIIIICCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The crowd boos the loudest they’ve been all match. PR and Popick raise their HI-YAH World Tag Team Title belts over their heads. PR taunts the fans. COLE The stakes are high for this match! So much emotion riding in this contest! Colombian Heat’s very career could change forever! COACH And hopefully, change for the worst! COLE Will you stop? The crowd chants, "P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. and Popick ignore the chants and kiss their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts, before handing them over to referee Earl Hebner. Earl Hebner shows the belts to Heat and Fly and then raises them over his head to let the fans know that this is a Championship Match. He then hands the belts over to a ringside attendant. P.R. pulls on the top rope while Popick jumps up and down in place. Heat and Fly just stare at their opponents. COLE We are just moments away from the start of this match! COACH I can’t wait! This is going to be great! COLE Remember, a 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match means that you must pin your opponent TWICE! So either PR/Popick or Heat/Fly have to beat each other two times to win. COACH I’m sure they both don’t got a problem with that! COLE I’m sure they don’t. Earl Hebner pats down Heat, Fly, Popick, and PRL. He then makes sure they know the rules, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS MATCH FOR THE HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN & STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK (Champions) vs. COLOMBIAN HEAT & SPANISH FLY (Challengers) A "LET’S GO FLY!" chant starts up. P.R. and Popick discuss who’ll go first. PR agrees to go first for his team. Heat and Fly agree that Fly should start. They pound fists, and then Heat exits the ring and heads to the ring apron. PRL nods his head at Popick, and then turns his attention to Fly. COLE It’ll be P.R. and Spanish Fly starting things off for us. And we all know the history between these two. COACH The leader of The Lightning Crew is doing battle with his former comrade turned TURNCOAT! I love it! Squash the midget, P.R.! The crowd is ready to go. Tha Puerto Rican and Spanish Fly circle each other, Puerto having a smirk on his face. PRL Let’s go midget! PR and Fly lock up. P.R. goes behind Fly and then pulls his legs out from under him. He then tries to go for a headlock, but Spanish Fly escapes an grabs a headlock on PRL! PRL escapes and takes a few steps back while the crowd cheers. COLE Puerto Rican didn’t expect that! COACH He was just lucky. That’s all. P.R.’s shock look turns into an arrogant smirk. He circles Spanish Fly once again, and then points to his chin, daring Fly to hit him. COLE Is he serious? COACH He’s the Corporate Champ! He can do anything he wants! PR motions for Spanish Fly to hit him. Fly looks at Heat, who shrugs his shoulders, and then at the crowd, who want him to hit P.R.L. Spanish Fly decides to go for it, punching PRL in the chin...but gets clotheslined by the Corporate Champion! COACH HA! Nice job sucking him in, PR! PRL laughs at his opponent. He then picks Spanish Fly up by his mask and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Spanish Fly reverses--PRL bounces off the ropes, Spanish Fly leaps up and hits PRL with a flying headscissors! The crowd cheers! Spanish Fly runs over to his corner and tags in Colombian Heat! COLE Heat is in the ring now! The man who defeated Tha Puerto Rican 2 weeks ago! COACH But he ended up being the loser after all. COLE Let’s not bring that up! PRL begs off, and tags in Popick. The crowd boos. SJP has a smirk on his face as he stares down Heat. Heat tells him to bring it. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK You’re mine now, boy! Colombian Heat and Stephen Joseph Popick circle each other, and lock up. Heat punches Popick in the stomach! Heat then applies an arm-wringer on Stephen Joseph. Heat chops Popick across the chest! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Heat chops again! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And again! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Colombian Heat whips SJP into the ropes. Popick bounces off the ropes, and Heat returns with an arm-drag! Popick gets up, and gets pulled down to the mat with another arm-drag! Popick gets up a third time, and he gets another arm-drag! Then he gets up a fourth time, and another arm-drag awaits him! COLOMBIAN HEAT YEAAHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" CH picks Stephen up by his blonde hair. Popick pokes Heat in the eyes! COLE That is just like Popick! COACH No, it’s not. Popick takes over on offense, punching Colombian Heat in the face several times with Tha Puerto Rican cheering him on. Popick then switches over to the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms, before picking Heat up and holding him up in the air...driving him down with a high angle neckbreaker! COLE Excellent move by Popick! COACH It was magnificent! Stephen Joseph Popick laughs evilly, and then makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd boos. PRL gets in, and immediately starts stomping Heat with his shaky leg kicks, taunting him in between. "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" COLE The crowd trying to rally Colombian Heat in the early going! PRL picks Colombian Heat up, and then sets him up, delivering a vertical suplex. PRL rolls through, and delivers another vertical suplex. PR rolls through again and lifts Colombian Heat up for a third vertical suplex. He holds Colombian Heat up in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to his head. The crowd, and Popick, applaud PRL. COACH Look at the strength of Tha Puerto Rican! Heat ain’t no toothpick, even though he might have the brain the size of one! Puerto Rican does the "You can’t see me!" hand gesture, and then walks over to the ropes, where he drops Heat’s lower half onto the top ring rope and follows with a slingshot suplex! Afterwards, PRL applauds himself. The crowd boos. Puerto goes for the cover. COLE This could be the first pinfall of this match! 1....2....KICK OUT! COACH Dang! PR is disappointed, but he quickly gets over it, and makes the tag back to Popick. Popick starts with the stomping of Colombian Heat’s stomach. SJ picks CH up. *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *DOUBLE CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SJP whips Colombian Heat into a neutral corner. He then charges forward...into an elbow from Heat! Popick staggers around the ring, so Colombian Heat charges forward and delivers a spinning neckbreaker on Popick! Heat then looks to the crowd, and then bounces off the ropes, doing the "Where The Hood At!?" onto Stephen Joseph Popick! He then makes the tag to Spanish Fly. Spanish Fly leaps onto the top ring rope and then springboards off of it, hitting Stephen with a springboard leg drop! Fly covers. ONE! TWO! THRE--KICK OUT! COLE Tremendous tag team wrestling from Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat! COACH Yeah. But it’s not going to last for long! COLE We’ll see. Spanish Fly plays to the crowd, and then picks Stephen Joseph Popick up. PRL is starting to worry on the ring apron. COLE Spanish Fly looking to do some damage on Popick. Fly whips Popick into a neutral corner. He then makes the tag to Colombian Heat. Heat rushes over and punches Popick in the face several times to stun him, and then gets down on his hands and knees. Spanish Fly heads to the opposite corner, and then charges forward, leaping onto Heat’s back, and crashing all his weight into Stephen Joseph Popick! COLE A little Poetry-In-Motion for Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly! Popick stumbles out from the turnbuckle, so Colombian Heat jumps up, grabs Popick with his legs, and brings him down with a hurricarana! The cover! ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! Colombian Heat is pissed off, so he takes his aggression out on Tha Puerto Rican, knocking him off the ring apron! COACH Hey! COLE Heat knocking PRL off the ring apron! COACH He’s cheating! Colombian Heat nods his head at Spanish Fly. Spanish Fly walks across the ring apron while Heat picks Stephen Popick up and places him in between his legs. The crowd cheers. COLE What’s he going to do now? Heat smiles, and then lifts Popick up high in the air. He sets him up in the Razor’s Edge position. COLE He could be going for the Slam Dunk! Spanish Fly leaps onto the top rope, and then springboards off it, hitting Popick with a sitting senton down to the mat! COLE Whoa! What a move! The crowd cheers loudly as Spanish Fly runs back to his corner, and Colombian Heat covers Popick. PRL is still knocked out on the outside. Earl Hebner counts, along with the crowd. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT* COACH Hey, no fair! He cheated! HE CHEATED! COLE Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly have picked up the first fall! That means that they’re only one fall away from winning the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles! COACH Oh no! Oh no! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ First Fall: Colombian Heat & Spanish Fly Time: 5:34 Heat/Fly lead 1-0 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the first fall...COLOMBIAN HEAT AND SPANISH FLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! PRL immediately enters the ring and attacks Colombian Heat. Puerto Rican whips Colombian Heat into the ropes, and follows with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex! COLE Hey come on now! He’s not even the legal man! COACH Turnabout’s fairplay, Cole! Earl Hebner forces PRL to head back to his corner. As he does this, Stephen Joseph crawls over and covers Heat. The referee sees this, and makes the count. COACH THEY’RE GONNA TIE IT UP! 1.... 2... HEAT KICKS OUT! COACH DRAT! Popick is disappointed that he didn’t get the three. Still, he fights on, getting up and making the tag to The P.R. Menace. PRL gets in the ring and starts doing shaky leg kicks on Colombian Heat. He then switches to fist drops onto Heat’s forehead. The crowd is still hot following that last pinfall, so they boo PRL ferociously as he bounces off the ropes, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and drops another fist onto Heat’s head! The Five Knuckle Shuffle! "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL sneers at the crowd. He picks Colombian Heat up, and taunts him for a bit. Then, he cradles him up...before dropping him with the Cradle DDT! COLE Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL covers Heat, hooking his right leg. It gets two. P.R. slaps the mat in frustration. PRL picks the slightly fatigued Colombian Heat and scoops him up, dropping him to the mat with a bodyslam! The crowd starts buzzing, knowing this can only mean one thing. COACH Oh yeah! It’s coming up, baby! PRL exits the ring, and climbs the top rope. The crowd gets louder. PRL removes his left elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then stands up on the top turnbuckle, looks at Spanish Fly...and then leaps off the top rope, doing the "Up yours!" hand gesture on the way down. Corporate Elbow Drop to a face pop! COACH Beautiful Corporate Elbow Drop! Beautiful! COLE Corporate Elbow Drop onto Colombian Heat! PRL dusts his hands off as if to say, "That’s it!" He then covers Heat. 1....2....SHOULDER UP! P.R. ignores the "P.R. SUCKS!" chant and picks Colombian Heat up. He whips him into the ropes--Colombian Heat reverses. Colombian Heat punches PRL in the face! He does it again! And again! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then punches PRL a fourth time, completing the Shake, Rattle, & Roll! COLE Shake, Rattle, & Roll from Colombian Heat! COACH I hate that move! Heat bounces off the ropes, does a SHIMMY~!, and then drops a knee onto PRL’s face! COLE Shaky Leg Knee Drop! COACH I hate that move too! Colombian Heat looks at the crowd...and then places his hands across his throat, and gags for air. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE That’s it! That’s the signal for the Colombian Necktie! Heat’s going for it! He wants to end the match! COACH Oh no! Look out PR! LOOK OUT! Heat gets into stalking position, ready to do the Colombian Necktie on Tha Puerto Rican. PRL slowly gets up. Heat yells at PRL to "GET UP FOOL!" COLE We could have new Champions in just a few moments! PRL is on his left knee. He gets up some more. Suddenly, the crowd starts booing because from the entrance, down the entrance ramp, comes Colombian Heat’s ex-girlfriend PRINCESS STACEY! COLE Oh no! What is she doing here? COACH She’s adding a little eye candy to the match! Woo-hoo! Here Stacey! Come here Stacey! The Princess of The Lightning Crew has a smirk on her face as she walks down to ringside. She walks around the ring until she gets Heat’s attention. COLE Stacey is distracting Colombian Heat again! COACH Hey, if he gets distracted by her beauty, it’s his own fault! COLE PRL probably planned this too, didn’t he? COACH Probably. He IS a genius, after all! The crowd boos loudly as Princess Stacey taunts Colombian Heat from outside the ring. Heat gets into a yelling contest with his ex. COLE This is just like last week, where Stacey’s interference cost Heat his match against Vitamin X! COACH Wrong like usual! Heat was just the inferior athlete! COLE Oh come on! Princess Stacey continues screaming at Heat. Heat screams back, and doesn’t notice PRL coming back to his feet. Spanish Fly tries to warn him, so does the crowd, but Heat’s not paying attention. COLE Heat better be careful! PRL is coming to! COACH Yes! Yes! It’s all coming together now! Colombian Heat calls his former "boo" a "bitch", a "ho", a "slut", a "gold digger", and some other naughty words that can’t be said on television. But Stacey doesn’t care...because PRL is on his knees giving Colombian Heat a low blow! COLE OH MY! WHAT A SHOT! The crowd groans along with Heat! Heat grabs his jewels, but doesn’t fall to the mat, because PRL just so happens to be holding him. Meanwhile, Princess Stacey points and laughs at Heat’s misery. "GOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDD DIGGER!" "GOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDD DIGGER!" "GOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDD DIGGER!" "GOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDD DIGGER!" COACH SHE IS NOT! Princess Stacey sneers at the crowd, but then turns her attention back to the ring. The reason the referee didn’t notice the nutshot was because Popick was trying to get into the ring. But he doesn’t try to anymore. He just gets in. PR and Popick nod at each other, and then PRL gives Popick a thumbs up sign. COLE What are they going to do now? COACH Probably something brilliant! PR throws Heat into Popick’s waiting arms. Popick hoists Colombian Heat up into the air. Spanish Fly can only watch as Tha Puerto Rican bounces off the ropes, bounces off the opposite ropes, leaps up, and clotheslines Colombian Heat out of Popick’s hands and onto the mat! COLE Hart Attack! Hart Attack from PR and Popick! COACH They only ’borrow’ from the best! The crowd boos as P.R. covers Colombian Heat. Popick returns to his corner, while Spanish Fly panics at his. Princess Stacey has an evil grin on her face as she watches Earl Hebner makes the count. COLE No! Damn it! No! ONE! TWO! THREE! PRINCESS STACEY YES! *BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE P.R. and Popick pick up their first fall to tie the match at one fall a piece! COACH Oh yeah baby! The tide is shifting! The momentum is changing! The Titles are coming home with P.R./Popick tonight! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Second Fall: "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican & Stephen Joseph Popick Time: 11:23 PR/Popick and Heat/Fly tied at 1-1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the second fall...STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTOOOOOO RICCCCAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE The match is tied! The team that wins the next fall will be Tag Team Champions! COACH They’ve evened it up. Now they’re going to win it! PR laughs evilly. He then starts stomping Colombian Heat. Puerto picks Heat up. Knife-edged chop across the chest! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") PRL whips Colombian Heat into a neutral corner. PR then heads to the opposite corner, and charges forward. Stinger Splash! Puerto then whips Colombian Heat into the opposite neutral corner. Another Stinger Splash! COACH This is DEFINITLEY a special night! We just got TWO Stinger Splashes! TWO for the price of one! Puerto pulls Heat out from the turnbuckle and gives him a Russian Legsweep. Suddenly, the crowd starts cheering, and cheering loudly I might add! *BAM!* JADE RODEZ COMES OUT AND KNOCKS PRINCESS STACEY DOWN! COLE Jade Rodez is out here! COACH WHAT!? WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE!? Jade is FURIOUS! Ms. Rodez stomps on Princess Stacey’s back, then picks her up by her red locks, dropping her tiara in the process! All the while, Jade is muttering something to Stacey, who is in horrible pain! COACH She must have been conned by Colombian Heat to do this! Heat’s fake sympathy act made her do this! COLE Hey, I’m not complaining! COACH How dare you. This is a PRINCESS we’re talking about here! COLE In who’s mind? COACH In mine and Vitamin X’s mind! The crowd is going nuts! The action has stopped in the ring as everyone watches Jade Rodez drag Princess Stacey by her hair up the entrance ramp! Jade then shoves Stacey through the sliding doors, before turning around and throwing up a thumbs up to Colombian Heat! She smiles before going through the sliding doors herself. PR and Popick can’t believe it! COACH Where’s Jade going with Stacey? And can I watch? COLE No, you perv! Jade has taken Princess Stacey out of this match! She’s no longer going to distract Colombian Heat! This match is anybody’s game right now! COACH Oh. I still wanna watch. The crowd is hot following that altercation at ringside. PRL goes back to punching Colombian Heat. He then tells Popick to get inside the ring. COLE What now? PRL whips Colombian Heat into a neutral corner. He hits the turnbuckle HARD! PRL then tells Popick something, and Popick gets on his hands and knees. COACH Hmmm. This looks familar. COLE A little Poetry-In-Motion from PRL and Popick? COACH Yessir. PRL mutters something to Heat, and then charges forward, leaping onto Popick's back, and crashing into Colombian Heat. HEAT MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! COLE No Poetry-In-Motion for Tha Puerto Rican! PRL holds his body in pain. Colombian Heat grabs PRL and throws him into the neutral corner, and then starts punching him in the face! Heat unleashes a combination of chops and punches all over Tha Puerto Rican’s body. He then switches to martial arts kicks all over PRL’s body. COLE Heat going buckwild on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH You’ve been hanging around him way too much! Colombian Heat finishes off with a jumping back kick to PRL’s jaw! The kick sends PRL slumming to the mat, with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh God no! The crowd cheers loudly as Colombian Heat jogs on over to the opposite turnbuckle. COLE Here we go! He could be going for it! Colombian Heat plays to the crowd, and then does the "low-rider" hand gesture, then charges forward, going for the Broncobuster-- *DING!* AND GETS KICKED SQUARED IN THE BALLS! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Why didn’t anyone else ever think of doing that? Colombian Heat collapses to the mat, holding his private part. PRL still rests on the bottom turnbuckle pad, but he’s showing signs of life if that kick to the junk was any indication. The crowd starts booing, while Stephen Joseph applauds his partner. COLE Colombian Heat could be in trouble now! Will he be able to get the second pinfall? Or will it be PRL and Popick who walk away Champions? We’ll be right back with more of this match right after this! The cameras are still rolling, fans! The camera does a close-up of Colombian Heat in pain. This is the last image we see as we go to commercial. Commercial break We return from the commercial break with Popick giving Colombian Heat a wristlock suplex. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, during the break, the punishment continued for Colombian Heat. PRL and Popick have not stopped in their offense, as Spanish Fly anxiously awaits the tag! COACH This is their night, Cole! PR and Popick will beat those two pipsqueaks and prove once and for all who the better team is. This IS their night, Michael. Trust me! Popick picks Colombian Heat up. He gives him an inverted atomic drop! Popick follows that up with a LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COLE Whoa! Lariat from Popick! SJ covers. It gets a two count. "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" Stephen Joseph does some mean mugging, and then picks Heat up again-- PELE KICK~! COLE Pele Kick! Pele Kick from Colombian Heat! COACH Oh, he can hit it from anywhere! The crowd pops loudly for the Pele Kick! Colombian Heat and Stephen Joseph Popick are now both lying on the mat. PRL and Spanish Fly try their best to get their respective partners to get up and make the tag. The crowd is getting hotter by the second. COLE Heat and Popick are both down and out! Whose gonna make the tag first!? Colombian Heat starts moving. A few seconds later, Popick starts moving. CH and SJP start crawling over to their corners. COLE It’s Heat! COACH No it’s Popick! COLE No, it’s Heat! COACH No, it’s Popick! The crowd claps in unison. Spanish Fly holds his right hand out for the tag, while PRL is frantically jumping up and down, desperately trying to make Popick tag him in. COLE Whose it gonna be? WHO!? JUST TELL ME WHO!?!? Colombian Heat is only a few inches away from Spanish Fly. Stephen Joseph Popick is only a few inches away from Tha Puerto Rican. Popick tags in Tha Puerto Rican! BUT NOT BEFORE HEAT TAGS IN SPANISH FLY! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The hot tag is made! Spanish Fly is back in the match! PRL gets in, and goes for a clothesline, but Spanish Fly ducks, bounces off the ropes, and hits a dropkick on Tha Puerto Rican! The impact of the dropkick sends PRL into a neutral corner, where Spanish Fly charges forward and hits PRL with ANOTHER dropkick, which sends PRL slumming to the mat with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad! COACH Oh no. Colombian Heat cheers his tag team partner on. Spanish Fly fires the crowd up, and then heads to the opposite turnbuckle, where he does the "low-rider" hand gesture himself, and then charges forward, giving PRL a Broncobuster! COLE Broncobuster! Broncobuster! This time the Broncobuster connects on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Oh God! That midget! UGH! I DON’T EVEN WANNA THINK ABOUT IT! Spanish Fly plays to the crowd some more. They cheer like the pavilion dogs they are. Fly picks The Corporate Champ up. He hits him with a knife-edge chop, and then gives him an Mexican (Irish) whip into the ropes. PRL reverses. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes. PR goes for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker which Fly turns into a hurricarana! The hurricarana sends PRL into the second rope! THe crowd cheers some more. COLE This could be it! This could be the end! The crowd cheers loudly as PRL’s head rests on the second rope. Spanish Fly looks at the crowd. He looks at Heat, who is cheering him on. Popick is going nuts on the outside. Spanish Fly then screams out loud-- "6-1-9!" Then he bounces off the ropes, grabs the top ring rope, then-- PRL MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Excellent counter by Tha Puerto Rican! PRL stands up and points to his head, telling the crowd how smart he is. The crowd boos. Puerto taunts the crowd some more. COLE Uh, Puerto, you think you might wanna-- COACH He can do what he wants! He’s CORPORATE! PRL laughs manically...not noticing Spanish Fly leaping up onto shoulders, and then rolling him up! 1.... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NAH, JUST PLAYING! PRL KICKS OUT! Both PRL and Spanish Fly get up at the same time. PRL goes for a clothesline, but Spanish Fly ducks, PRL bounces off the opposite ropes, and he returns with the Gamengiri! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! COACH Spanish Fly is down! HA! HA! HA! HA! Indeed, the 4’11" luchador is down on the mat. The crowd boos. PRL sneers at the crowd. Spanish Fly holds his head (or mask) and winces in pain. COLE Oh! Spanish Fly is down! This match ain’t over yet! We’ll be right back after these messages! * COMMERCIAL BREAK * We return to HeldDOWN~! to see Stephen Joseph Popick give Spanish Fly a stalling neckbreaker. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, during the break, Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick took control of Spanish Fly. They have been laying into him this entire time! Popick grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Tha Puerto Rican. Puerto grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Popick. Popick grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Tha Puerto Rican. Puerto grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Popick. Popick grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Tha Puerto Rican. Puerto grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Popick. Popick grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Tha Puerto Rican. Puerto grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Popick. Popick grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. He then tags in Tha Puerto Rican. Puerto grabs Spanish Fly’s right leg and pulls on it. COLE PR/Popick targeting Spanish Fly’s right leg! COACH It makes sense. If one of his legs is hurt, that means he can’t run. Smart tag team wrestling from Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Popick! "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" Puerto tags in Popick. P.R. holds Spanish Fly in place, so that Popick can bounce off the ropes, and do a baseball slide IN the ring INTO Spanish Fly’s face! COLE My God, what a shot! Popick chokes Spanish Fly with his bare hands before Earl Hebner tells him to stop at the count of 5. P.R. taunts some fans at ringside. SJP picks SF up and gives him an atomic drop! He follows that up with a chop. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!" "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *DOUBLE CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The double chop sends Spanish Fly to the mat. So, Popick makes the tag to PRL. P.R.L. climbs the top rope. He stands up on the top turnbuckle...and then leaps off....doing a Kenny Dykstra’s cool looking leg drop across Spanish Fly’s throat! COLE The Mad Cappa Crusher 2006: The Remix! COACH Great hangtime! Wonderful move! Tha Puerto Rican makes the cover. 1....2....LEFT SHOULDER UP! PRL applies a facelock on Spanish Fly. He cinches the hold tight. COACH PRL is sapping all the energy away from Spanish Fly! He is squeezing his head until it pops like a pimple! Popick roots for PRL, while Colombian Heat worries for his tag team partner and friend. PRL yells something at Heat, continuing the tighten the hold. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" Earl Hebner checks on Spanish Fly. Heat slaps the top turnbuckle pad to get the crowd to clap their hands in unison. It works. Spanish Fly starts flailing his arms in the air. COLE Spanish Fly looking to be showing signs of life! Spanish Fly makes a fist with both his hands. He then starts shaking them. The crowd continues clapping in unison. Heat watches with a concerned expression on his face as Spanish Fly gets to his right knee. COACH He’s making the comeback! Oh no! PR is starting to grow worried too. Spanish Fly shakes his fists as much as he can as he slowly gets to his feet. COLE He’s doing it! He’s doing it! Fly gets to a vertical base, still trapped in the facelock. But that doesn’t last for long, as he slips out of PRL’s grasp, and then gives him forearm shots to the face. Fly then bounces off the ropes, gets onto PRL, and gives him a Rube Goldberg Bulldog! COLE What a maneuver! Spanish Fly rolls over and makes the tag to Colombian Heat! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Colombian Heat is back in the match! Heat climbs the top rope and waits for PRL to get up. COLE Here comes trouble! PRL gets to his feet...and gets hit with a missile dropkick from Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat sits up...and looks at his right hand. COLE Uh-oh! He’s feeling it. He’s feeling it! Colombian Heat seems mesmerized by his right hand. He starts shaking it. COACH God! Not that stupid, stinking move! Colombian Heat starts shaking his head like he’s having a seizure. The crowd is going nuts, and so is Spanish Fly. COLE Here it comes! Colombian Heat is still shaking his head and hand. He stops and screams out, "WASSSSUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!?!?" And does a Spin-A-Roonie to a LOUD pop! COLE Spin-A-Roonie! Spin-A-Roonie! Spin-A-Roonie! COACH Pipe down! I heard you, the first time! Colombian Heat stands up and fires the crowd up again. Popick comes in with a clothesline, so Colombian Heat ducks, grabs him, and hits him with the BONG HIT~! COLE Bong Hit on Popick! COACH And that’s the ONLY bong hit Popick will ever take, by the way! CH grabs Stephen Joseph Popick and throws him over the top rope and to the floor! Heat then turns his attention back to Tha Puerto Rican, grabbing him, and hitting him with the Pimp Juice (Flatliner)! COLE Pimp Juice! Heat covers PRL! ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! COLE Oh! So close! So very, very close for Colombian Heat! He almost had it! Almost had him right here! COACH What is going on!? Why is Colombian Heat allowed to get so much offense!? COLE The tide maybe shifting! The end maybe near! COACH NO! NO! IT’S NOT THE END! IT’S NOT THE END! NO! Colombian Heat goes to pick Tha Puerto Rican up. THA PUERTO RICAN GRABS HEAT WITH HIS LEGS AND DROPS HIM TO THE MAT! ANKLELOCK! COLE Whoa! Anklelock from Tha Puerto Rican! We don’t see that too often from him! COACH He’s pulling out all the stops for tonight! PRL cinches the submission hold tight on Colombian Heat. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t last long as Heat uses all the strength in his right leg to push PRL off of him! The power of the shove causes PRL to hit the bottom turnbuckle pad where he rests his head! COLE PRL is down! COACH GET UP PUERTO! GET UP! The crowd is going nuts! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican’s head rests on the bottom turnbuckle pad. 6-1-9 ON THE FLOOR BY SPANISH FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111 JOEY STYLES OH MY GOD! COACH .... COLE I can’t--I can’t belive it! Spanish Fly just did a 6-1-9 from the outside! He used the ring post like he normally would use the ropes! That was--that was amazing! He got PRL right in the face too! Amazing! Unbelievable! PR holds his head in pain. He rolls around the ring, so Colombian Heat decides to cover him, right then and there. 1... 2.... Popick’s back in the ring! 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999 Heat moves out of the way! Popick stomps on PRL by mistake! COACH Oh no! Oh no! COLE Popick hit his partner, Tha Puerto Rican! COACH AAAAHHHHHHHHH! Stephen Joseph can’t believe it! But he has no time to say he’s sorry, because Spanish Fly is back in the ring and hitting Stephen with a front dropkick to knock him out of the ring! Popick holds his chest in pain outside of the ring. COLE Popick is out! PR is down! It’s Heat and Fly’s for the taking! Colombian Heat doesn’t even waste any time waiting for Tha Puerto Rican to get up. Instead, he simply grabs P.R., turns around, grabs P.R.’s arms, turns around again, and lifts PRL up high in the air! COACH OH NO! The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat holds PRL up in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to his head. Spanish Fly stands guard in the ring, while Stephen Joseph Popick lies winded and groggy on the outside. COLE He’s going to do it! He’s going to do it! He’s got him! COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Colombian Heat has a smirk on his face as he looks at Fly, looks at PR, and looks at the crowd... BEFORE DROPPING DOWN WITH THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111 "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Colombian Necktie! He did it! COACH KICK OUT, PUERTO! Colombian Heat covers "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, hooking his left leg. Spanish Fly still stands guard in the ring. Stephen Joseph Popick is still sitting groggy on the outside. Earl Hebner counts, along with the crowd. COLE Can Heat take advantage? 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (30:09) "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE We’ve got new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Third Fall: Colombian Heat & Spanish Fly Time: 30:09 Fly/Heat win match 2-1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH WINNORS~! COLOMBIAN HEAT & SPANISH FLY ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly jump up in the air! "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. Heat falls to his knees and thanks God while Fly fires the crowd up. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the third fall...and NEW HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions...COLOMBIAN HEAT AND SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! COLE Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly have done it! They have at long last defeated Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick, and are the NEW HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions! COACH ...I can’t believe it. Earl Hebner grabs the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts from the time keeper and hands them over to Heat and Fly. The crowd cheers loudly. Heat and Fly look at their newly won belts and smile wide smiles, as they have won their first belts in the OAOAST. Heat and Fly hug each other which causes the crowd to cheer some more. PRL is still in the ring, while Popick uses the ring apron to pull himself up. He is not pleased at the result of this match. COLE What a wild few weeks Colombian Heat has been through, culminating in this, his first EVER title win in the OAOAST! Heat’s gotta be feeling pretty happy right about now! COACH I don’t get it! How was Heat able to overcome all of this? PR, Popick, Princess Stacey. HOW!? COLE Colombian Heat has the heart of a champion, and he showed it tonight, when he and Spanish Fly defeated The Corporate Champion and his manager and "Career Consultant" to become the NEW HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions! COACH Ugh. I can’t take this inspirational crap any more! Colombian Heat gets on his right knee and raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt in the air. COLE And look at the elation on Colombian Heat’s face! All the trials, all the pain, all the hardships, for once he can forget about all of that, because he is now a HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion, and he beat his former best friend to do it! COACH This is disgusting! They cheated to win the first fall, then they got lucky in the second! That’s it. This doesn’t prove that they’re more talented that PR/Popick. NOT AT ALL! You hear that? NOT. AT. ALL! Earl Hebner raises Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly’s hands in victory, both men holding their belts. Heat yells out loud, just because he can. He then does a SHIMMY~! to the crowd’s delight as his theme music continues playing. COLE Let’s take a look at the replay of the end of the match. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the match, starting with Colombian Heat’s Pimp Juice on PRL. COACH Okay, so PRL got hit with the Pimp Juice. Big whoop, right? Luckily, my man PRL was able to shock the stupid Heat with an anklelock. However, SOMEHOW, Heat escaped and PRL hit the turnbuckle, which allowed that little rodent, Spanish Fly, to come and do his stupid little 6-1-9 on the Corporate Champ. Heat got the pinfall, but Popick stopped him. Heat got lucky and ducked kick, allowing the little Mexican midget to once again stick his mask where it didn’t belong, dropkicking Popick out of the ring. This led to that damn Colombian Necktie. 1-2-3. New HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, and I’m nauseous realizing who holds those belts now! COLE Nothing you can do about it, Coachman. Tha Puerto Rican and Popick are now the FORMER HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. That’s right. FORMER. Not current. FORMER! COACH If you say ’FORMER’ one more time, I’m gonna make you wish you’ve never been born! Spanish Fly leaps onto Colombian Heat’s shoulders, and the two men raise their belts high up in the air. Fly is absolutely ecstatic while Heat is also happy, but less so. Still, the fact that he beat Tha Puerto Rican is enough of a confidence booster for him, especially after what he’s been through these past 3 weeks. PRL has left the ring, and he is being consoled by Popick. COLE What a match! What a way to end HeldDOWN~! The HI-YAH World Tag Team Title reign of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick comes to an end at just 1 month and 22 days! Now the question is, who will challenge Heat/Fly first? COACH It better be PR/Popick! That’s the only Title defense those two fools will EVER make! COLE I’d like to think D*LUX deserve a shot too. COACH D*SUX deserve NOTHING! It’s PR/Popick or nothing at all! COLE Thank God you’re not on the HI-YAH Championship Committee. COACH Why? I’d bet I’d be the illest committee member EVAH~!...oh great, now I’m talking like Colombian Heat! COLE HA HA! COACH STOP LAUGHING COLE! IT’S NOT FUNNY! Colombian Heat places his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his neck like a chain. Spanish Fly slings his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his right shoulder. The two men then do their own little handshake and then get on second turnbuckles. Heat and Fly play to the crowd who cheer some more. PR and Popick are walking up the entrance ramp, defeated men. COLE Colombian Heat is back on top! He’s lost his girlfriend TWICE, he’s gotten beaten by The Lightning Crew, but Heat has gotten some measure of revenge tonight by taking Tha Puerto Rican’s and Stephen Joseph Popick’s World Tag Team Titles! COACH This will go down as the darkest day in the history of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship. COLE I think that day already happened at November Reign. COACH Oh shut up with your November Reign! THIS is the darkest day in the history of those prestigious belts. To go from PR and Popick to Colombian Heat and SPANISH FLY!?!?!? Talk about a downturn in quality. COLE Oh will you stop? This is a great moment! Enjoy it! COACH No. COLE Fine. It’s your lost. COACH Whatever. COLE Emo dork. COACH COLE Anyway, fans, thanks for tuning into HeldDOWN~! tonight! And what a night it was! We’ve got new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions as we continue on in the countdown to Anglepalooza! Tune in next week, for more exciting OAOAST action! For Jonathan "Emo Boy" Coachman, this is Michael Cole saying so long from Charleston, West Virginia and we’ll see you next week for more HeldDOWN~! Colombian Heat screams out again. Heat raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his head on a second turnbuckle. Spanish Fly raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his head on a second turnbuckle. Heat and Fly both have smiles as wide as the Cheshire Cat on their faces. The crowd cheers loudly as Heat and Fly continue raising their newly won HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts over their heads as "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull continues playing. This is the last image we see as we end this week’s show. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" FADE OUT Edited January 19, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 WRITTEN BY: King Cucaracha Alfdogg Tony149 Patty O'Green Bruce Blank Ed Wood Caulfield © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 (edited) OAOAST.com EXCLUSIVE~! The camera cuts to the locker room where Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are still celebrating their victory over "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick. Spanish Fly has his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his right shoulder, while Heat has his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder. Both men are smiling, and in a really good mood. SPANISH FLY Yo, I can't believe it! We did it! We beat Tha Puerto Rican, and now we're the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions! COLOMBIAN HEAT Yeah, dawg! I's is feelin' very happy right now, g! We've got tha belts, we've made those two silly bitches cry, AN', AN' we beat Tha Puerto Rican 1-2-3 in tha ring! SPANISH FLY (Laughing) Yeah. We did what we said we would do. But hey, how you holding up? Regarding Stacey, and what-not. HEAT It still hurts...but I'ma quickly gettin' ovah it. Havin' these Tag Team Titles sure helps, yah'mean!? FLY Yeah, buddy! Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat high five each other. They go back to laughing. SPANISH FLY A'ight, so we're the Tag Team Champions of HI-YAH right now. That means we gotta be on our toes 24/7. Everyone's gonna want a piece of us. HEAT I know dat. But I don't wanna think 'bout dat right now. Let's think about all of tha things, all the advantages dat come wit bein' Champions. Betta food. Betta clothes. Betta haircuts. Betta hotel rooms. Betta laundry service. And best of all? Betta cars! It's gonna be da bomb bein' Champions! You know what I'm sayin'? FLY Yeah. I hear ya. I hear ya. It's going to be great. I can't wait until we start defending these titles! HEAT Yeah...oooh! I's almost forgot one ding. Since we is Champions now, youse know what dat means... Spanish Fly smiles a wide smile and nods his head. Heat laughs. FLY Oh yeah. I know. SPANISH FLY & COLOMBIAN HEAT MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! Heat and Fly continue chanting "MO' MONEY!" in the lockerroom. Heat and Fly dance a little bit. They wave their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts high in the air, waving them like they just don't care. They continue dancing while chanting, "MO MONEY!" as we fade out. FADE OUT Edited January 19, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
