AngleMania VI

[Tony149 0]

TV-14

L,V

 

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *

 

Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat in front of his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the monitor...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight.

 

THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~!

 

The telecast opens with a video feature to the tune of "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance. Running a little under 5 minutes (it's a 4 hour show, folks), every match on the card is highlighted. The piece concludes with a black and white still photo of Zack Malibu and OAOAST Champion Drek Stone, which is etched in stone, imploding upon completion to reveal...

 

 

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

B O O M ~!

 

LIVE!

Rogers Centre

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

 

SCHIAVONE

The event the entire world has been waiting for is finally here. A night destined to be "Etched in Stone," AngleMania VI!

 

Stationed high above inside a pricey skybox are our hosts for the evening.

 

 

SCHIAVONE

Hi again, fans. Tony Schiavone alongside Jesse "The Body" Ventura. We'll be joined shortly by Michael Cole and The Coach, but what a night it should be, Jess.

 

VENTURA

You can feel the electricity in the air, Schiavone. I'm pumped up. The fans are pumped up. And you better believe the wrestlers are pumped up. They know the world is watching. Some will rise to the occasion; others will simply crumble under the bright lights.

 

SCHIAVONE

Every OAOAST championship is on the line, including the most talked about title match in OAOAST history, the one we thought we'd never see...Zack Malibu vs. Drek Stone for the World Heavyweight Title.

 

VENTURA

To say Zack Malibu is the favorite is a huge understatement. The champ is a man without a country right now. What little friends he had left have turned on him. His enemies have been emboldened, but Drek Stone is a man not afraid to walk this world alone. I predict he'll step up his game and walk out still the heavyweight champion of the world.

 

SCHIAVONE

Another much publicized title bout, Chicks Over Dicks defend their tag team championship against the 2007 Anderson Cup winners, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright.

 

VENTURA

Those guys have it all -- looks, talent, and most importantly, money. I'd bet the house on the Enterprise tonight. Look for them to leave Toronto with both sets of tag belts, the OAOAST and HI-YAH tag team championships.

 

SCHIAVONE

We're just about set to go. But before we go to the ring for our opening contest, I'd like to welcome in the men who will call the action, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman at Sofa Central.

 

Dressed for the occasion, Cole and The Coach greet the viewing audience with smiles.

 

COLE

Thanks a lot, guys. Great to be working with you once again. Coach, AngleMania is finally here.

 

COACH

This place is buzzing and we haven't even had our first match yet. We have a little bit of everything tonight, ranging from the Money in the Bank battle royal to a Sin City street fight. And let's not forget Alf vs. Thunderkid in a BARBED WIRE LADDER MATCH!!

 

COLE

Also on the card, the big Women's title match and Caboose and Some Guy return to action for the first time in a long time as they face the X-Man, Mr. Boricua and Bone Thug in a handicap match. Are you ready?

 

COACH

Hell, yes!

 

COLE

Then let's go up to the ring and Michael Buffer!

Edited April 2, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

The opening drumbeats of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' hit Dani California echo through SkyDome and the keyed-up crowd vociferously begin to boo the first man to enter the arena tonight as the mini-ring brings out James Riggs and Staci.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

This is the OPENING CONTEST of AngleMania VI! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Staci, he hails from Torrence, California and weighs in at two hundred and thirty-six pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, this is JAAAAAAAMES RRRRRIIIIIIGGGSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

 

COACH

Oh mami, look at Staci!

 

 

The ring stops at ringside and Staci leads the pair around ringside and up the ring steps. Even in expensive heels, Staci sits on the middle rope, swings her legs up and crosses them, holding open the ropes for James before swinging herself into the ring. James hits the turnbuckles and emphatically pounds his chest as pyro shoots from each side of the apron behind him before converging in the corner in a huge GOLDEN explosion. The music fades as Riggs hops down, replaced by Move Bitch by Ludacris.

 

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

 

Another ring rolls down the aisle containing the other participant in the match.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent. From Dayton, Ohio, he weighs in at two hundred and seventy-five pounds....JAAAAAAAAMESSS WWWWWWOLFENSTEIIIIIIIINNNNN!!!!!

 

James anxiously stands in the mini-ring, wondering why this can't go faster than his grandmother's motorized cart. Finally he has enough and, as it is still moving, unlcips the ropes and jumps off and charges to the ring. Riggs sees him and scurries with Staci to the outside as Wolfenstein slides in. Riggs keeps Staci in front of him as Wolfenstein goes to the ropes, daring him to come in and having to be pulled back by referee Charles Robinson. Riggs and Staci have a little strategy session which is ended by a kiss on the cheek for good luck. Riggs turns to enter the ring....but Wolfenstein chooses instead to come out and start the match on the floor, turning Riggs around and slugging away as Staci scrambles for safety.

 

COLE

We're kicking things off tonight with a grudge match involving two men making their AngleMania debuts.

 

COACH

What does Wolfenstein have against Riggs? He only told the truth about him; James is as entertaining as an episode of Cole's Bar.

 

COLE

 

Wolfenstein goes to whip Riggs into the post, but James reverses, only to be reversed himself and backdropped on the floor. Wolfenstein pulls him up and rolls him into the ring, entering himself to start the match.

 

*DING DING*

 

Riggs retreats to the corner, but that is no safety as Wolfenstein follows him in and peppers him with body shots and overhand punches. He whips him to the opposite corner and charges in, drilling his shoulder into Riggs' midsection before laying in the boots. Robinson counts, but James is having none of that and has to be pulled back. Riggs takes advantage of that opportunity to kick him in the gut when he returns, followed by another. They switch and Riggs fires off a hard chop to the chest, but that only serves to anger Wolfenstein and they switch again, this time with James receiving the chop. James then rams Riggs' head into the turnbuckles once, twice, three times before rubbing his face into it, drawing Robinson over again and giving Riggs another opportunity to cheat....

 

*Ching*

 

As he sweeps his leg back and up into the breadbasket. Wolfenstein staggers back and Riggs jumps on him, bulldogging him to the mat and covering.

 

1....but it only gets a one count. Riggs pulls Wolfenstein up and hooks him, taking him over with a snap suplex before dropping a quick leg and covering again, but it only earns him another one count. Riggs pulls him up again and Wolfenstein fires off a shot to the gut to try and take control, but Riggs answers with a knee to the face. He sets him up and whips him, but Wolfenstein reverses it. Riggs grabs the ropes to stop himself and Wolfenstein charges, but Riggs bends over and backdrops him over the top rope and to the floor. Riggs looks back as Wolfenstein begins to pull himself up and charges into the ropes, gaining momentum as he runs towards James, hops to the top rope, and springboards off of it with a flying bodypress onto Wolfenstein!!!!

 

"OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

 

Applause echoes through SkyDome for that effort as Riggs and Wolfenstein lay on the floor.

 

COLE

James Riggs is a risk taker and sacrificed his body with a beautiful move.

 

Replays show the graceful flight of Riggs before we go back to live action and Riggs pulling Wolfenstein back to ringside. He scoops him up and drops him face-first on the security wall before rolling him into the ring once again and grabbing a chinlock to wear him down. Wolfenstein makes a comeback, so Riggs releases the hold himself and drives his elbow into the back of the head, and another, which brings Wolfenstein back down to his knees. To rub it in, Riggs steps back and comes in with a kneelift.

 

COLE

It's only been a few weeks since that attack by Gibraltar, so Wolfenstein's head is still very vulnerable.

 

Riggs pulls him up and grabs a front facelock, backing into the corner and climbing to the middle rope. He raises his arm and twirls it around.

 

COACH

Here's comes a serious headache, Cole.

 

Riggs goes for a tornado DDT, but Wolfenstein pushes him off, causing Riggs to spin in the air and land on his stomach. Riggs stumbles into the corner and Wolfenstein follows up, firing off more punches before sitting him on the top rope and connecting with a HARD right that nearly knocks Riggs to the outside. Wolfenstein climbs up with him and hooks the tights.

 

COLE

Superplex coming up!

 

Riggs tries to fight out with punches to the gut, but it isn't enough as Wolfenstein picks him up and drills him into the mat with a top rope superplex! He covers.

 

1......

 

 

 

 

2.......but Riggs gets a shoulder up. Wolfenstein yanks him up and wraps him in a bearhug, taking him over with a belly-to-belly suplex. He sneaks behind Riggs as he gets up and takes him to the mat with another suplex, this of the backdrop variety.

 

COLE

James Wolfenstein is a master of the suplex and has many ways of delivering them.

 

A stunned Riggs gets to his feet and takes a swing at Wolfenstein, but James ducks it and goes behind Riggs, hooking him around the waist and taking him over with a German suplex. He rolls through it back to his feet and hooks Riggs in a full nelson before taking him over with a dragon suplex. Robinson goes down to count, but Wolfenstein isn't done as he rolls through that as well and hooks Riggs in a double chicken-wing before taking him over with a TIGER suplex!!

 

COLE

A suplex trifecta!! He's got the pin!

 

1......

 

 

 

 

 

2.......

 

 

 

 

3--NO! Riggs gets his shoulder off the canvas in time. Wolfenstein retreats to the corner and sinks down, waiting for Riggs to get to his feet.

 

COLE

Wolfenstein going for the kill right noWii

 

Riggs stumbles to his feet again and turns around. He sees Wolfenstein charging in out of the corner of his eye and, almost on instinct, brings his foot up and kicks Wolfenstein in the face! James' head snaps back as he is stopped right in his tracks and brought to his knees. Riggs runs off the ropes and comes up from behind with a Shining Wizard kick to the back of the head, bringing him to all fours. Riggs then runs off the ropes again and comes down with a Rolling Koppou Kick to the head, and Wolfenstein goes limp.

 

COACH

There it is!

 

COLE

A pair of devastating kicks....here's the cover!

 

1....

 

 

 

2.....

 

 

 

 

3!!--NO!!!!

 

COLE

But Wolfenstein kicks out!! Oh my!!

 

"TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

Riggs looks over to Staci with shock on his face and all Staci can do is shake her head and give her man encouragement. Riggs walks to the corner again, waiting for Wolfenstein to get up. Wolfenstein does and Riggs charges, going for another rolling kick....but Wolfenstein sidesteps it!! Riggs rolls to his feet, but Wolfenstein picks him up in a gorilla press and drops him into a Samoan drop!!

 

COLE

Backdrop Driver!!

 

Wolfenstein picks up Wolfenstein and brings him to the corner again, sitting him on the top rope and climbing up after him. He wraps his arms around Riggs as they both try to steady themselves on the top rope. Riggs rakes the eyes to stun James and fires off a series of rights to weaken him enough to break his grip and allow Riggs to push him to the mat. He waits for Wolfenstein to get back to his feet before he comes off the top rope with a FLYING KOPPOU KICK right to Wolfenstein's face!!!

 

"OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

COACH

DAMN!!!

 

COLE

Whatamaneuver!!!

 

He covers.

 

 

1......

 

 

 

 

 

2......

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!

 

COLE

He got it!

 

*DING DING*

 

Dani California plays as Staci joyously rushes into the ring.

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner....JAAAAMES RRRRIIGGGGSSSSSSS!!!!

 

After he raises Riggs' hand, Robinson immediately checks on Wolfenstein as Riggs and Staci leave the ring to go celebrate.

 

COLE

So it's James Riggs that picks up a victory in his AngleMania debut.

 

COACH

I knew that he could do it. I got an invite to his victory party later. JR Nation is gonna go wild tonight!!

 

COLE

Standing by right now, “Mean” Gene Okerlund with the challengers in the upcoming OAOAST tag team title match, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright.

 

The music drifts off as we cut to our backstage interview area, a hand painted backdrop of the AngleMania VI Toronto skyline logo. Present are all members of the Enterprise except the Beverly Hills Blonds.

 

OKERLUND

Gentlemen, in just a few short minutes you’ll be stepping in the ring with a team the polar opposite of yourselves, referring to the OAOAST World tag team champions Chicks Over Dicks, who you earned the right to face here tonight by winning the 2007 Anderson Cup. Your final comments, please.

 

WRIGHT

16 teams vied for this very opportunity, Mr. Okerlund, yet when the dust settled and the smoked cleared it was the Enterprise who reigned supreme. Tonight we’ll finish what we started in the Anderson Cup. You could even say it’s…

(looking at CPA)

…“Money in the Bank.”

 

OKERLUND

Christian Wright very confident Mackenzie.

 

MACKENZIE

So would you if you beat the teams CW and Teddy did to get here -- the Love Doctors, America’s Team, Black T and Los Diablos de Fuego. They’ve beaten the up-and-coming, the most underrated and the so-called greatest tag team of all-time. Why shouldn’t they be confident? Just because COD has lucked into a couple of tag title reigns doesn’t mean they’re the best ever.

 

OKERLUND

Luck?! You gotta be kidding me!

 

MONEYMAKER

I assure you, little man, she isn’t. The time has come for me and CW to put COD in their rightful place, and I couldn’t think of a better event to do so than at AngleMania, a night I’ve waited three long years for. Instead of sitting at home and watching family compete, it’s the other way around now thanks to the best partner money can find, Christian Wright, but we won’t be the only ones cashing in big tonight, baby, so will the Beverly Hills Blonds and our Director of Security CPA when they win the HI-YAH tag titles and the Money in the Bank battle royal, respectively. Like us, they’ve had the best training money can buy, and everyone knows I always get a return on my investments. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

 

OKERLUND

On the subject of training, there’s a rumor floating saying it requires…abstinence. Perhaps it’s even the reason why the Beverly Hills Blonds aren’t joining us. I can’t imagine Ned Blanchard following through with that routine. He’d be going out of his mind if he did.

 

MONEYMAKER

As I said, it’s the best training money can buy. Now if you’ll excuse us.

 

As the Enterprise prepare to exit stage left, they’re cut off by a chart wheeling ALIX MARIA SPEZIA, dressed in a pink Santa’s little helper number.

 

ALIX

You poor, poor boys. You must be ready to blow it out of your pants by now. Here, allow me to share my love with you.

 

Alix rips open her suit and HELLO~!

 

 

WRIGHT

 

MACKENZIE

 

MONEYMAKER

 

ALIX

Oops. Did I just screw up your training program? Guano! Oh, well, just charge your losses to the Chicks Over Dicks. T-O-O-D-L-E-S. Toodles!

 

In a move that may end up with bigger repercussions than the time Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s boob, the Enterprise are left in a brief state of confusion. Having done her job Alix blows Mackie a kiss and skips off into the imaginary sunset.

 

MACKENZIE

(sighs)

I think I need a cigarette.

 

MONEYMAKER

 

The view returns to the announce team, where Coach has much the same reaction as Mackie.

 

COACH

Holy lord, holy lord, did you see what she was wearing? Or wasn't wearing! One match in and we're already at the greatest Anglemania of all time, hot damn! Can I get a replay or something?

 

COLE

Settle down, Coach, settle down. The Enterprise's “unusual” training program being thrown for a loop there, but it may not matter if they can actually win the tag titles tonight. Unfortunately they're facing Chicks Over Dicks, a team who dating back to their debut in 2004, have lost a grand total of two matches, both to Enterprise members, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. But it's Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright who represent the billion dollar stable tonight. They are facing a team that has pretty much gone through the who's who of oaoast tag teams, Black T, The Sooner Bruisers, The Rockers, The Sk8r Boiz, Hells Hitmen, Christian Wright and Bohemoth, The Love Doctors, The Gunslingers, GPX, The Militia, NRG, Zack Malibu and Dan Black. You name them and Alix and Krista have beat them, and in some cases they've beat them multiple times. Unless your name is Ned or Simon wrestling Chicks Over Dicks is a guaranteed loss.

 

COACH

The difference tonight is that none of those teams had the resources of The Enterprise. There is no stopping The Enterprise conglomerate tonight. Christian Wright is a former world champion in HI-YAH and a 2005 rookie of the year, and Theodore Moneymaker has the most punishing style of wrestling we've seen in a while. Those men are your new tag team champions. And for the record, partner, The Militia have actualy beaten them for the tag team titles.

Edited April 3, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

 

The dome plunges towards an errie darkness, with the only light being a tiny bluish glow provided by scattered cellphones in the stands. Within seconds a boisterous illumination is granted to the entrance stage, as a graphic of a ritzy Vegas slot machine, spinning wheels and all, appears on the monstrous Angletron. As cherries, sevens, clovers, and “BAR”s, spin wildly, through the speakers wades a series of ominous financial warnings made by various newscasters. These cautionary tales offer heart wrenching terror to those audience members more prone to indulge in the financial pursuits.

 

"Stock prices slumped on Friday under the weight of a weak financial sector"

"Stocks fell for a third straight session on Thursday"

"Fourth quarter earnings fall sixty six percent"

"Internet companies ended Friday's trading lower then ever"

"More Americans then ever say the are panicking over their financial future"

"Faith in the country's economy is at an all time low for lower middle class Americans"

"Congress acts to increase tax burden on lower class Americans"

"Consumer confidence declines sharply"

"Money woes send investor confidence south"

"Loss in revenue could result in layoff of thousands.."

 

The depressing assemblage of quotes shrinks quieter and quieter until it fades into silence, leaving behind only the bleak image it has crafted for the audience's disdain. White spotlights then protrude from the entry way, cutting through the darkness like a mysterious spear. While the classic anthem of The Star Wars' imperial march buzzes a damnable hymn, the video towers that stand tall beside the Angletron broadcast images of monetary related chaos; scenes from the Great Depression, CNBC news reports, outtakes from various corporate scandals that have rocked the economy over the years. Eventually a light fuzzy white haze cloaks these images, obscuring them from view. Within moments the light haze mutates into a full on assault, completely overwhelming the journey through North America's troubled financial history. The only thing that can truly defeat this snowy preponderance are the trio of now black screens, blank except for the infuriating words of.......

 

MONEY TALKS

 

Then the new music starts; and the booing begins in earnest.

 

Tailored suits, show of your cars

Fine hotels and big cigars

Up for grabs, up for a price

Where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night

The claim is on you

The sights are on me

So what do you do

That's guaranteed

Hey little girl, you want it all

The furs, the diamonds, the painting on the wall!!

 

Come on, come on, lovin for the money

Come on, come on, listen to the money talk

Come on, come on, lovin for the money

Come on, come on, listen to the money talk

 

The disgust of the crowd subsides for the moment, involuntarily replaced by begrudging amazement at the sight transpiring above their heads; two colossal sparkling green dollar signs descend from an overhanging rafter like angels from the clouds of heaven. They land with brilliant splendor, as smoke steams from the edge of the ramp, creating a shallow mist around the monuments of capitalistic greed. Automatic doors on the front of the signs raise in order to reveal the men who make up the vessels' despised passenger list: Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker, both standing firm in their own personal symbol of corruption.

 

COACH

Not only does money talk, but it also pays for a great entrance!

 

Ubiquitous leather briefcase in tow, Wright has fashioned himself in a black wool pinstripe suit, complete with blue and black striped tie. His partner, and founder of The Enterprise, Theodore Moneymaker, bears the finest fashions his limitless bank account can afford, a three button, light blue suit, topped off by a pair of five hundred dollar Salvatore Ferragamo dress shoes. The Anderson Cup Winners, showered by jeers and catcalls, strut to the center of the entrance stage, where a firm business like handshake is passed between them, while green and white lights spasm from fixtures near the Angletron. Not to be outdone, Mackenzie DeCenzo steps through the parting entrance doors, a picture womanly excellence in a thousand dollar, cornsilk cutaway dress, adorned with a beautiful rhinestone and diamond sash. Trailing her is the intimidating beast, CPA. Unlike his associates, CPA isn't one for the pomp and circumstance, and instead outfits himself in simple jeans and a ratty black t-shirt. The newcoming party meets their joyful friends with handshakes, and cheek kisses, then strikes a unified pose of future glory, joining hands and raising their arms in triumph. A torrential downpour of hundred dollar bills streams from the ceiling, landing in wealthy chaos around the four statues of greed, envy, lust, and gluttony. The fans are amazed by the continuous flow of cash, and several must be restrained by security to prevent them from storming the entry way to claim their share of the loot. Beside the entrance stage green and white forty foot high supernovas of pryo flare across the landscape.

 

BUFFER

The following match is scheduled for one fall with no time limit, and it is for the OaOast world tag team championships! Now making their way to the ring, the challengers, being accompanied by Chief Financial Officer Mackenzie DeCenzo, and Christopher Patrick Allen, representing The Enterprise, weighing in at a total combined weight of four hundred fifty two pounds, they are the 2007 Anderson Cup champions, first from the nation's capital, Washington DC by of North Carolina, weighing 8 and 1/2 bars of gold he is the 2005 oaoast rookie of the year, a former HI-YAH world champion, The Financial Analyst, The Natural, CHRISTIIAAAAAN WRIIIIIIIGHT!

 

At the sound of his name, Wright, bursting with confidence, discards his formal upper body wear, revealing his thick physique to the world that hates him so much. CPA pats him on the shoulder, giving him strong encouragement for the battle to come.

 

BUFFER

(cont)

And his partner, from Vero Beach, Florida, he is the CEOOOOOOOO of the Enterprise, and a billion dollar heir to the Moneymaker fortune, he is Sports Entertainment's richest man, he is THEDOOOOORE MOOOOONEYMAKER!

 

Mackenzie happily claps for the introduction of the man she's certain will leave Toronto as one half of the new tag team champions. However, she's the only one who shows any inclination towards kindness, as the rest of the sellout crowd choses to tear into Moneymaker and his ilk with jeers, taunts, and various profane statements. Moneymaker easily brushes aside their disdain, assured that the paltry bills he has in his coat pocket exceeds that of what they house in their bank account.

 

COACH

This stable is a monster! They are a finely tuned wrestling machine, who can dominate for years.

 

Such a loyal servant, CPA holds the ring ropes open for his high paying employers, while green lights flash from fixtures within the stands. Wright enters first, making the trademark belt motion around his wait while he skirts across the ring. Moneymaker enters with a refined gait, slowly traversing over the ropes, soaking up every last boo, insult, and spiteful word. He reaches the center of the ring, and sinks to his knees; his arms head to the sky, and his fingers curl into his infamous “money fingers” a fitting testament to the value he places on the almighty dollar. Mackie stands behind him, running her hands along his smooth muscles, a boastful smile taking hold of her lovely face. She is a woman who is certain that she will be leaving Toronto in the company of champions.

 

COACH

I like to see those liberal tree huggers in COD top that fine entrance.

 

A long (and I do mean long) video package summarizing the many in ring and out of ring accomplishments of the match's teams plays, giving time for production crew to hastily prepare the stage for the next glorious entrance. After a good seven minutes the highlight reel fades into nothingness, we're returned to a live shot.

 

The area has been swallowed into a vast nebulae of impenetrable darkness, broken only by ragged swaths of neon lighted blue crosses strewn about entrance stage. Delicate arrangements of ghoulish black roses litter the floor. Their beautiful yet spookish presence is an evil contrast to the enchantment of the soft blue glow. A coffin serves as the “pot of gold” at the end of this enchantingly macabre rainbow, stationed behind the last of the black parade of roses and glimmering crosses. The tomb is adorned with decorations fit for only the most regal of royalty. A touching arrangement of pink and red snapdragon flowers sweeps from the base of the tomb and down the marble stairs of the platform it rests on. From the sides, numerous pillars of lillies and button poms rise in towering elegance to mourn the loss of the departed soul within the entrapment. The camera is forced to weave past the curving floral guardians to the eye down the coffin's resident. It's Alix Maria Spezia, body shrouded in a white grown, her glorious fall of hair fanning across a pillow, half a smile on her precious pink lips. A soaring, almost epic, rise of guitair melodies tears through the deep silence like the sharpest of rapiers. Then the show stopping vocals of All Good Things beam a raw, live quality that simply adds to the grandiose air that hovers above the resplendent setup.

 

Honestly, what will become of me

Don't like reality

It's way too clear to me

But really life is dandy

We are what we don't see

Miss everything daydreaming

 

Staring upon the endless nightscape of blue crossed stars, is a somber figure, trapped within a ragged black dress, standing on the opposite end of the entrance stage, a bouquet of red roses locked into their trembling hands. With lowered head she lurches across the steel staging, strands of vibrant blond hair obscuring the vision that gazes blindly into the alien darkness. Trailing her path of despair is pop superdiva (and Canadian!) Nelly Furtado, vocalizing the mood with her beautiful hit song. One of the neon crosses shines an infinite galaxy of light upon the haunted face of the lone mourner, revealing her to the prying world to be actress Laurel Holloman (L Word, Tumbleweeds). With her every step serenaded by the platinum pop star, the woman wallows through the lustery glares of the roses and crosses.

 

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

 

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

 

Come to an end

Come to an

Why do all good things come to an end

 

Come to an end

Come to an

Why do all good things come to an end

 

Eventually Laurel reaches the grave of the fallen Alix, and her faces buries itself in her hands, and tears stream between her fingers and down the contours of her shaking knuckles. As Nelly's song reaches it's height of power, the formerly docile Alix springs to an angelic life, reaching for her visitor with her trembling free hand. With the chanteuse positioned behind them like a celestial narrator, Alix disentangles herself from the sheets, and pulls her suitor into a tight embrace. She's so grateful for Alix's life, that tears well once more. She has to blink out the burning night, and blink again to keep these fresh tears from spilling onto her cheeks. She puts her hand on top of Alix's and holds it gently, as Nelly Furtado's serene carol concludes this strange and mysterious journey.

 

And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day

Til the feeling went away

And the sky was falling and the clouds were dropping

And the rainfall forgot how to bring salvation

The dogs were barking at the new moon

Whistling a new tune hoping it would come soon

So that they could die

 

A rousing ovation from the Canadian faithful dignifies the end of the entrancing melody. The waving and smiling Miss Furtado departs stage to a magnificent increase in cheers and applause. Despite the joy over the harmonious tune there's still the underlying matter of the missing member of Chicks Over Dicks. But her location does not remain a mystery for very long, as thick and thunderous guitar chords act as a troubling precursor to her arrival. Repeated playings of the refrain from Eve 6's Think Twice shred through the once peaceful atmosphere, and put a hint of warfare in the air.

 

Think Twice before you touch my girl

Come around let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch girl

Come around no more!

From the opposite end of the stage arises the Hollywood Madame herself, appearing as though she's been ripped from the pages of the Grease script, in black leather pants, white t-shirt, black leather coat, and dark sunglasses that mask a murderous glare. Shimmering golden hair tumbles to the tip of her shoulder like sunshine, and a sharp frown peers from a tanned face that rivals the greatest beauties of myth and history. Flanked by a vile tribe of similarly leather bound women, Kris marches towards Alix's location. The makings of a gory conflict erupt, when another pack of equally fearsome biker babes gushes from the side of the stage to take up residence alongside Alix and Laurel. Krista is unmoved by the sudden emergence of these ruffians and continues to Laurel with the anger inside her gathering to an unstoppable dragon. The opposing gang shares Krista's lack of intimidation, and each member matches the passionate fire of her frown. They follow Laurel, who's hands are clasped with Alix's, across the war zone, eager to bath the grey stage in warm crimson. Krista and her legion are every bit as bloodthirsty, and flinch not once as they walk to their grisly destiny. When the two gangs collide for the epic showdown, it's their surly leaders who move to strike first. They bring forth knives and angle them before their black clad bodies. But before steel blades can be stained red, a burst of signing echoes their lightening with a shout of fire.

Hey, hey, you, you

I don't like your girlfriend!

 

The entrance doors give way to the source of this loud proclamation, Ontario's Avril Lavigne. The Multi-Platinum recording artist valiantly steps between the rival leaders to usher peace between the frayed factions. Outfitted in a classic catholic school girl outfit, she belts her infectiously alluring song Girlfriend, while fearlessly bouncing through the maze of jealous violence.

 

Krista's fierce looking, rumble minded subordinates can't resist the lure of Avril's spunky vocals and upbeat dance moves, and soon mimic her flouncing and prancing leg movements. Krista sags in paralyzing shock over her army of bad bitches abandoning her at the heat of the fight to form a butch lesbian soul train. Clinging Alix tighter then before, Laurel simply guffaws at Krista's misfortune, and shoddy selection of gang members- that is until her group disregards her to fall in line with Avril's dance craze. Soon Miss Lavigne and the converted street toughs form an all female wedge that turns rambunctious gang moves-sudden leg thrusts, right-angled knee flexions, pelvic lunges-into fluid ensemble work.

 

You're so fine I want you mine you're so delicious

I think about you all the time you're so addictive

Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright (Alright...)

 

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious

And hell yeah, I'm the mother fucking princess

I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right (I'm right...)

 

The house lights then go up, revealing that the entire entrance stage has been fabulously converted into a 50's era ice cream parlor, complete with sparkling red stools, old car posters, and a bar counter top. And speaking of fabulous, a company of the hottest drag queens Toronto has to offer, stands atop the counter, beautifully dressed in pink and white cheer leading outfits, and each spinning glittering rainbow batons. And who else should be conducting the queer orchestra but MOTHER FUCKING Los Diablos De Fuego! When Avril squeezes herself into the formation, the flamboyant queens go through a series of cheer leading inspired dance techniques-heavy stomping, quick head nods, and sharp upward thrusting of the arms. As their limbs move so do their batons, oozing glorious trails of rainbow flavored light. Avril holds the microphone between herself and Los Diablos, so that the angel voiced luachadores turned cheerleaders can join her in song.

 

She's like soooo whatever

You could do soooo much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about!

 

Hey, hey, you, you

I don't like your girlfriend

No way, no way!

I think you need a new one

Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend!

 

Hey, hey, you, you

I know that you like me

No way, no way!

No, it's not a secret

Hey, hey, you, you

I want to be your girlfriend

 

Meawhile the heat for Krista and Laurel's argument over Alix continues to boil. Having had enough of empty threats, Krista snatches a startled Alix away from her rival, and into her arms. Laurel responds with a similar gesture, and poor Alix is now the rope in a game of human tug of war, her already ragged dress being torn with each pull! The image of Ally seized in Laurel's embrace, shreds Krista's heart, burns it's pieces, and feeds her it's smoking ashes. But before she can crush crystallized image in front her to mere sand, Kris is halted by Mariachi's attempt to entice her with “her” saucy appeal. “Her” efforts are rebuked with a stare of cold, ugly fear that could slice through steel. Mariachi departs “her” unrequited crush with a cheeky wiggle of “her” tush, and a “Who's this bitch think she is? Cher?” on “her” lips.

 

COACH

This looks like your kind of scene, Michael.

 

Moracca makes “her” bid for Kris' attention, but the queen is summarily dismissed by a black glare of gloom. With a bombastic pep in “her” step, Moracca swaggers away from Krissy, mouthing the words “Bette Davis she ain't!” Three new cheerleaders try their hand at tantalizing the sultry blond; their bodies twirl in perfect synchronization, as their hips swivel in seduction. Holding Alix firmly in place, Laurel scoffs at Krista's gyrating suitors, “Beggars can't be choosers, hun”. As though the words rip away raw hunks of her flesh like hot slabs, Krista dodges her would be romancers in order lash out at her antagonist. But Avril delays the brawl, by dashing across the countertop, and slamming her army boots in front of the battling blonds. She acts as a musical conveyor of Krista's thoughts, her arrows of passioned aimed at Alix's bewildered heart. But Laurel serves as a misdirecting authority, emphatically shaking her head, and ordering Alix to close her mind to the wisdom. Avril realizes her song will never break down the walls of Laurel's influence, thus she grabs Ally's hand and skips with her down the ramp. Not wishing to let Alix out of their sight, the blonds follow, still stabbing each other with verbal thrusts and parries. Soon the ice cream parlor empties into a husk, as the drag queens and biker women pour down the entry way with their high kicks, and sudden twirls.

(Uh)

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it bettah

There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in

She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?!

 

[uh)

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it bettah

There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in

She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?!

The ring brims over with the expanse of dancers, each pulling their bodies downward, only to explode seconds later with fiery knee raises and cutting swipes of their arm. From the rafters rappels a fantastic “COD” sign. The cursive lettering is ignited by a flourishing velocity of sparkling pyro that moves so fast, everyone in the ring seems to stand in a pulsing sphere of red and pink energy. In the center of this rhumba is the Canadian songbird, Alix, and the warring duo. With the help of Avril's message, Alix is able to pierce through Laurel's deceitful veil and discover that life with Krista would be a much sweeter sin. And so Alix escapes the jail her previous suitor, and falls into the freedom of Krista's arms, her voice throughly choked with emotion as she express an impossible level appreciation for Krista's affection. The distinctively ruby blaze of the letters above makes a haze around the tender embrace, placing the pair into an oblate jewelry box of red fire in which Krista strokes Alix's hair, until her trembling begins to fade, then cups her chin to gently raise her face to look into her blue eyes. All is not sorrow and heartache for Laurel however; her company is enhanced by the fantastically over the top duo of Los Diablos, their whirling batons playing a whimsical illumination across her smiling face. The glow of lights and fire cast red edged shadows around the panorama of dancers, who converge upon the center of the ring as Avril draws her song to it's grand finale. The songstress arcs and plunges through the final notes with a growling imprecision, that's duplicated through the spanning turns of the chorus line.

 

Hey, hey, you, you

I don't like your girlfriend (No way!)

No way, no way

I think you need a new one (Hey!)

Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend (No way, no way)

 

(Hey!)

Hey, hey, you, you

I know that you like me (Now way!)

No way, no way

No, it's not a secret (Hey!)

Hey, hey, you, you (No way)

I want to be your girlfriend (No way, now way)

 

Avril drops to her knees and puts her arm in the air in triumph, a gesture expertly mirrored by her calvary of back up dancers. Around the ring scarlet blazes of sparkling pyro pillar forth from the turnbuckles, while roving spotlights play with tricky illumination outside the ring. The search lights tap The Enterprise, wheeling through faces that look neither impressed nor intimidated with the out of this world introduction.

 

The scream of the fans takes on a continuous boiling roll like the inside of a permanent thunderstorm as the glut of performers takes their bows for their mini-oprea. While the crowd continues to roar Laurel, Avril, Los Diablos, and the dancers spill from the ring and up the ramp, leaving Chicks Over Dicks to face whatever fate may await them at the end of this tag title match. With the glamorous introduction out of the way, Buffer enters the squared circle to officially introduce the incumbents.

 

BUFFER

And the champions! First from, Los Angeles, California,she is a two time twenty four seven champion, the 2005 Women's Wrestler of the year, the 2005 Most Entertaining peformer of the year, the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA!

 

Alix's figure is freed from the gloomy bondage of the tattered dress, and shimmers gorgeously and beautifully in rhinestone studded pink booty shorts, a white diamond encrusted bikini top that may well be worth over half a million dollars, and fluffy faux fur covered wrist bands and boots that may not be worth even thirty dollars.

 

BUFFER

And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a New York Times best selling author, a fitness queen, a loving mother, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan!

 

Away goes the glossy leather armor, and the grease stained t-shirt. In comes the lean and chiseled body of the world's foremost authority on fitness crammed into ruffled black tanga shorts, and a black pretzel wrap top which boasts a large upside down teardrop cut out to showcase a crowd pleasing amount of skin on the torso and chest. On the outside, Mackenzie's hungry eyes scan the scintillating outfit with a vague appreciation.

 

BUFFER

Together they are three time OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, and Hollywood “It” Girls, Chicks Over Dicks!

 

The crowd takes up the chant of “C-O-D”, louder and louder until it seems the whole galaxy sings along. Alix headbangs along to cries of her team's name, while Krista turns mocking eyes to The Enterprise and wonders aloud why they can't get a cheer that loud.

 

COLE

What performances we just saw! And what an entrance The Enterprise treated us to as well. But it's time to get down to the business, and settle the matter of the tag team championships! The girls are involved in their second tag title match, defeating Anderson Cup winners, GPX at Anglemania Four.

 

At Krista's request Ally departs the squared circle, leaving Miss California to deal with the epitome of corporate greed and scandal, Theodore Moneymaker. With the “COD” chants still ringing as loud as ever, the bell is rung and the oaoast tag title affair is underway.

 

DING DING DING

 

Perhaps caught up in the exhilaration of performing at an Anglemania, Moneymaker appears confused, prideful, and a little frightened all at the same time. Running on pure emotion he takes an intimidating steps towards an apron based Alix. But Ally, already at her fourth Anglemania, simply flashes a sickeningly cute smile towards her aggressor, and tells him to be on his way. And on his way he goes, pacing about the ring like a nervous family member through an emergency room. Christian, having danced with COD before, urges him to gain a level of calmness. Moneymaker tries his best to grant his partner's wishes and invites Krista in for a lockup. But when Miss California nears him, he has a change of heart and drives a boot into her stomach. The shot doubles her over, and permits the billion dollar air to paste her with a series of jabs. Gaining some confidence from his early strikes, he takes hold of her beautiful blond hair and directs her to the corner. He repeatedly smashes her face into the poorly padded buckles, eliciting unfavorable reactions from the audience. Not used to being booed by so many people, Moneymaker's cool disappears once again, and he directs his frayed energy towards Krista, hammering her with stone cold-esque corner stomps. Referee Billy Silverman begins a five count, not having a lick of an issue with disqualifying Moneymaker should he not cease the beating. Unfortunately the swell of crowd noise prevents Theodore from even hearing the official, and it's only Mackie's frantic hand motions that cause him to end the stomping and evade disqualification.

 

“LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!”

 

COLE

Theodore Moneymaker may be having some jitters in his first Anglemania.

 

Taking hold of her boobtastic top,Moneymaker peels Kris away from the corner and launches her towards the cables. Upon her return, he eyes a flap jack. But Krista makes this move all but impossible, taking to the skies for a flying forearm. Moneymaker makes a quick move to avoid the strike, shifting his body to the left. But all this does is cause Krista to smash into his hairy chest with a lateral press that pushes them into a pinfall, to the delight of the record setting crowd. Silverman scores the fall.

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

Moneymaker lifts his shoulder of the mat, and the boos are enormous, even overwhelming the voice of the commentators. Theodore springs to his feet, cocking his arm to smash Kris with a lariat. But Miss California seems unwilling to engage in further fighting, and presents her case as such,

 

“Stop! I lost my contacts!”

 

Moneymaker is unmoved, “What in the devil? Come on, woman!”

 

Though Theo would love to fight, Silverman can't exactly have a two hundred forty pound brawler beating up on a half blind single mother, thus he calls for a stop to the contest so that Kris can find her contact. Wishing to speed the affair up, a fuming Moneymaker starts his own search for the missing lens. With Moneymaker bent over, Krista exposes her devious plan to the viewing world and rolls him up for a fall! It's counted by an equally confused Silverman.

 

ONE

 

Moneymaker springs to his feet, ranting and raving about Krista's treachery. But Miss California shuts him up by slashing a knife edge chop into his hairy chest. A second one follows, and then Moneymaker is hurled to the ropes. But he reverses the move and tosses Krista towards the cables. When the blond bombshell returns, he grabs hold of those luscious Loreal enhanced locks, and chucks her over the ropes! Thinking that Krista's body is already being scrapped of the mat with a spatula, the billion dollar heir turns towards Alix to brag about his vile achievement. Ally simply replies “Turn around.” Curious, Moneymaker follows her orders, only to be terrorized with a crowd popping top rope spinning wheel kick for his troubles!

 

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

 

Theo rises to his feet surprisingly quickly given the move he just endured, but is immediately trapped within an arm wrench. Torquing on his limb, Krissy parades about the ring with her victim, showing him off to the audience that despises him so. Moneymaker grows tired of being showcased like a pig at a country fair and breaks Krista's grasp with a simple eye rake. Silverman adominshes him for his dirty tactics, but Theodore ignores him as he drives his padded knee into Kris' stomach. Krista sinks to all fours, the wind knocked clear out of her sails. Theodore affords her little time to recover, and pulls her to her feet where he pumps a second knee into her stomach. She shrivels underneath the strike, falling backwards, and watching with watery eyes as Moneymaker gloats above her.

 

Moneymaker spots his trusted financial adviser leaning over the ropes, extending a trembling hand that begs to be granted with the all important tag. Smirking at his partner's unbridled eagerness, Theodore heads to his corner and tags Christian into the contest. He receives an earnest “Thank you!” for his actions. Christian's reception isn't quite as kind, however, as the crowd unleashes a torrent of boos upon him. He pays them no mind, and charges towards his rival. Too the audience's immense delight, Krista effortlessly takes him off his feet with a leg lariat! Besieged by dizziness, he stands up and clumsily stumbles to the nearest corner. Unfortunately that corner happens to belong to belong to Chicks Over Dicks, and Alix knocks the taste out of his mouth with a backhanded slap!

 

“YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED! YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED!”

 

COLE

Wright got the tag from Moneymaker and now he gets the tag from Alix.

 

As he checks his mouth for droplets of blood, Wright staggers back towards the center of the ring, moving dangerously close to the vicious vixen who awaits him. When he nears, she hooks onto his arm for the Everybody Hates Kris (backflip rockbottom). The Toronto audience pops as though they've been backflashed to the Rock rock bottoming Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 18. But they'll see no epic execution at this moment, as the verbose superstar frantically elbows his way free from Krissy's clutches. Though he's escaped from the devastating signature move, The Natural is given no reprieve as Kris' three hundred dollar footwear smacks him in the chest! The force of blow backs him all the way into the black cables. The ropes turn out to be an unwilling host, and toss their uninvited guest back to his beautiful rival. Wright defends himself against by lobbing a lariat towards her face. But she sweeps bellow the slow moving strike, and latches onto the sides of his neck as he raises her head. Unable to escape her hold, Wright has his leg kicked out from under him, and he topples to the canvas, where his neck violently cranks off her shoulder!

 

COLE

I bet the ol human dictionary has a lot of words to describe what he's feeling right now. I've got a good one OUCH!

 

Though Krista world normally attempt a fall after such a harsh move, her devilish side figures it would be great fun to torment CW over the fact that his ludicrous training program has prevented him “dancing the horizontal tango” for the past several months. Her hands glide through her silky blond mane, then journey down to the glistening bronze skin of her buxom figure, while her bumping and grinding hips mesmerize the lusting audience, both male and female (Toronto Gay & Lesbian Athletic Alliance STAND THE FUK UP!) into a sensual trance.

 

Suddenly there's an uproar of laughter from the fans. Curious over the nature of the fans' laughter, CW's eyes follow their's to the source of the merriment, the Angletron resting above the entry way. The video's screen's pedestrian image, that of him lying on the mat, doesn't quite inform him of what's so humorous. That is until he realizes the camera's focus isn't on him per se, but rather the enormous erection he's sprouted over Krista's flesh show! His subsequent shrieking and wailing, and pathetic attempts to cover up his trouser tent, simply generate a new cycle of chuckles from the fans and Alix. Even Krista might be able to crack a small smile were she not so repulsed by Christian's very existence.

 

COLE (waving a five dollar bill in the air)

Take it off, Christian Wright! Let a pimp see what you're working with!

 

With an aim on preserving with tiny bit of dignity he still has left, Christian (and his upstanding citizen), rises to his feet to batter the cause of this embarrassment. Unfortunately for him, Krista takes him, and his one eyed wiggling welshman, over with a hiptoss. However, he lands squarely on his glossy black boots. This is a bittersweet victory at best, because with his arm trapped between Miss California's, he's incapable of stopping Ally Cat from springboarding forward and pulverizing him with a blockbuster. Krista adds a most disturbing twist to move by crossing her leg between Wright's, and moving him forward, turning it into a front Russian leg sweep, blockbuster combination. The Natural's head and neck twist and snap in the most disgusting manner imaginable, and several audience members can almost, almost, feel a sliver of sympathy for him. On the apron, Wright throws a fit over COD's double teaming, and promises to have Silverman fired for his incompetence.

 

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”

 

CW's miserable Canadian experience grows even worse when, from the corner of his eye, he spots his foe doing a series of one handed pushups. The athletic taunt seems to be enough to motivate The Natural to get to his feet and strike down this annoying woman. But when he pulls the trigger on his weapon of choice, an elbow drop, Krissy rolls out of the way and his arm endures a horrible meeting with the canvas. He moans in agony, which brings a smile to the face of every one in attendance. Kris smiles as well, but not because her counter has done so much damage. No, she smiles because she holds Wright's legs spread into the air, and has her tennis shoe hovering above his still rock solid beef bayonet. Once Christian becomes aware of the position he's in, a look of panic hijacks his face, and he cries for mercy. His pleas make Krissy decide that she can't complete the decision on her lonesome, and she looks to the crowd for advice on what to do.

 

“DO IT! DO IT!” they respond without hesitation.

 

“Nay! Do not fairest maiden!” Wright pleads.

 

“DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!”

 

“I shouldn't.” Her remark is seconded by an enthusiastic nod from Mister Wright.

 

“DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!”

 

She shakes her head in sorrow. “It's so wrong. So very wrong.”

 

“DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!”

 

Krista shrugs her shoulders in mock apology “You heard the ladies, and gentlemen..and uh gender neutral....oh, and the pre and post op transsexuals.” And just like that the hammer descends upon Captain Winkey and his two nutty friends to the pleasure of the fans! Wright's screams of torture are heard all the way in Alberta, and a mortified CPA recoils in sympathy pain.

 

COLE

This is exact same thing that happened to Wright at last years Anglemania. Only now he can't shift the blame to Bohemoth.

 

As Christian Wright's aching neck can attest to, Alix has had plenty of involvement in this affair already. But, Krista decides to make her partner's participation official, and tags the culinary sensation into the match. The cheers from the record setting crowd are gigantic, and bring tremors to every inch of the arena.

 

COLE

The fans are standing up for Alix Spezia! Even the fans that are sitting down are standing up for Alix, and I'm sure Christian can attest to that!

 

The moment Ally enters the bout The Natural seeks to take his sizable anger out on her by Irish whipping her into the ring post. But Ally annoys him to no end when she avoids a collision with the posts by leaping onto the second turnbuckle. CW charges forward, assuming he can use her elevated position to push her out of the ring. It's a foolish assumption, as Ally simply flips over his incoming body. His arms instantly move to his face in order to protect him from the inevitable crash with the pads. But the collision never materializes because the airborne Alix reaches over her shoulders, hooks onto his elbow and flips him over with an armdrag that delights the spectators. As Wright nurses his sore limb, Alix shoots him a truly irksome gesture, bending at her knees and blowing him an adorable kiss. Whereas most people would love to be the recipient of a blown kiss from Alix, CW is left outraged, and like a roaring locomotive, he charges towards his rival. Alix receives her rival with a kick to the midsection; a kick he catches within his white tapped hands. A broad toothsome smile envelopes his face as he readies a lariat that will erase Ally from existence. But like any good comedic villain, his master plan is foiled by the plucky heroine, who backflips free of his clutches. Unflinched by her counter, Wright tries to level her with the clothesline the second her Rose embroiderd Kate Spade boots hit the floor. Yet, The Hollywood Bad Girl rolls bellow his attacking arm.

 

When she pops up, she says in her most sickeningly cute voice “Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!”

 

WRIGHT

 

ALIX

 

Wright is encased within a bloody rage, and darts towards the woman with murder on the mind. But the ox like monster drops like a stone the second the SoCal babe hits him with a twirling back kick. The Natural's unending misfortune leads to a cheer of joyous frivolity from the stands, and look of despair from the eternally worried Mackenzie.

 

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

 

COLE

Unlike Moneymaker, Christian Wright has paid his dues in the pro wrestling industry. He's worked in front of crowd of ten people, slept in his car, worked through injuries, and driven across countries to make dates, and this is the result of all his hardwork, getting mocked, taunted, and beat up by a woman a quarter of his size, for the second year in a row!

 

As The Natural heads to a vertical base his spunky foe leaps into him with a cross body block. Wright wards off the oncoming diva by dipping low as she nears, and timing his rise to catch her on his shoulders upon her descent. With Miss Spezia firmly held in place, The Washington DC native is able to dive backwards and crunch her fragile bones with a Samoan drop. He reaches backwards to cover his whimpering rival with his arm for the pinfall. Silverman administers the count

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

Alix lifts her shoulder off the canvas, pleasing the audience immensely. Despite the incredible pain leftover from the Samoan drop, she's able to get to her feet on her own power. Unfortunately, she's unable to do much more then that, as The Natural seizes her arm and flings her into a neutral corner. The fantastic impact from the collision with the pads brings shockwaves of agony to Ally's back as she stumbles away from the corner. Eventually the pain becomes too much to bear for the moment, and her knees give away, dropping her to the canvas. At that point CW pounces on her for his second consecutive pinfall...

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

Once again Alix kicks out, and deep lines of frustration appear on Christian's harsh face. Through labored breath, she rises on her own violation, but is quickly clamped into an inverted facelock, and before she can even attempt to battle against his clutches, he smashes her back into his outstretched knee with an inverted DDT into a backbreaker. Despite the tortured wails that accompany the aftermath of the fierce move, CW doesn't feel he's done enough damage to his rival, and proceeds to pulverize her back with hate filled stomps. Each blow earns a spasm of misery from Alix's little body, and creates a twinkle of delight in Wright's onyx eyes. After his eighth stomp lands, he takes hold of her limp arm and leads her to her feet. She efforts a hasty retreat to her corner, but Wright's suddenly firm clamp on her arm emerges as an insurmountable obstacle. He tucks his leg between her's, then strokes it into the air, knocking her off her feet and onto the oaoast logo on the mat. She lands with a resonating thud, as Wright's single arm ddt does considerable damage to both her arm and back.

 

“BOOOOOO!”

 

COACH

I can't believe these fans have the nerve to treat an intellectual, moral, and financial superior with such disrespect on a worldwide stage!

 

Wright's parade of back shattering attacks comes to a sudden halt when his attention is held captive by a most perplexing sign in the front row. One that simply reads “HEY, ASSHOLE, DON'T READ MY SIGN” As Christian tries to unearth the deeper meaning behind this message, his feisty rival sneaks behind him and pulls him down with a school boy!

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

Wright kicks out seconds before the three count!

 

His folly doesn't go unnoticed by the fan holding the distracting sign, who yells “HEY, SHIT FOR BRAINS, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ MY FUCKING SIGN!”

 

The rage over this latest in a long line of humiliations is infinite, and it's poor Alix who pays the price, getting mowed down with a diving lariat from the North Carolina born grappler. In spite of that impressive strike, the preceding signage debacle, has led Wright to surmise he's had his fill of Anglemania six for the moment. As such, he tags Mister Moneymaker into the contest to handle the bootylicious wrestlers and the Canadian drunkards who love them so.

 

But perhaps a light of kindness will shine on Wright's bleak Sunday(or Monday) evening, as a fan in Raptors jersey screams, “CHRISTIAN WRIGHT, YOU RULE, SON!”

 

WRIGHT

 

“SCREW YOU, DUDE, I WAS JUST CLOWNING, YOU SUCK SOME FAT DICK!” the fan screams back, prompting the rest of the crowd near him to break into chants of “WRIGHT SUCKS DICK! WRIGHT SUCKS DICK!”

 

In an all advised moment of vulgarity Wright responds with “YOUR FATHER LOVINGLY INSTRUCTED ME ON THE PROPER METHODS AND TECHNIQUES OF THEE ACCUSED FELLATIO!” You can imagine what chants the super-tolerant fans treat him to after that little gem. Mackenize and CPA attempt to silence their racket, but to no avail.

 

Thankfully Moneymaker ushers his pitiful associate out of the ring before he can make a further ass out of himself. Leaving Wright to sulk on the apron, The Floridian takes a clump of Ally's chocolate colored hair, and uses it as a leash to lead her into a vacant corner. With The Hollywood Bad Girl pressed against the turnbuckle, Moneymaker is free to terrorize her with a barrage of knife edge chops. Seven flesh searing blows land upon her busty chest, and Alix wilts under the intense pressure.

 

COACH

Mister Moneymaker, stop you're going to rip her top right off! Wait, nevermind, please continue, sir!

 

Pleased with the pain his chops have wrought, the old school brawler lugs the culinary sensation towards the center of the ring in preparation for a backbreaker. But Theodore doesn't even get the chance to begin the hold thanks to Alix fighting him off with a thrust kick. Yet, Moneymaker catches hold of her fuzzy footwear. He gives her a 180 twirl, putting her in perfect position for that backbreaker. Unfortunately for Moneymaker, Alix delays the devastating move by shooting her body backwards and extending her leg in a Pele style kick. But The Billion Dollar Heir hauls his two hundred thirty seven pounds out of the way mere seconds before her boot can skewer his cranium. While most wrestlers would be face down on the canvas as the result of that catastrophic avoidance, the Los Angelina is far more agile then your average grappler, and manages to land her feet. Unfortunately the position she lands in affords Moneymaker the chance to lacerate her back with a lariat. In revelry over his besting of the new age Betty Crocker, he makes his infamous money fingers gesture. Needless to say the crowd is not at all amused, and boo him heavily for his arrogance.

 

COLE

The audience all over Moneymaker in his first Anglemania appearance.

 

COACH

You can't expect people from Ontario, a province full of miserable buffoons so ashamed of their own nationality that they pray everyday to be American, to show much class or respect.

 

Moneymaker situates Alix atop the third turnbuckle of a neutral corner. She stages an admirable resilience against her opponent, slashing at him with frenzied claws. But one vile slap to the cheek from The Enterprise's leader shuts down her defenses and grants him access to join her atop the posts.

 

“MONEY TALKS! BULLSHIT WALKS!” he proclaims, for no other reason to rile the fanbase.

 

With the audience nosily informing him of his status as an asshole, he attaches their beloved diva into a front facelock in preparation for a superplex. Moneymaker is scarcely able to get The Hollywood Bad Girl off the top rope, before his plan goes horribly awry; the speedy champion somehow succeeds in shifting her body in midair so that her arms can tighten around his neck, and she can punish him with a diamond cutter! The second Theo's body splatters across the beige canvas loud moans of distress spill from his throat, and cheers pour from the rafters.

 

COLE

Your boy just got smoked, Coach!

 

The spectators' joy has a shorter expiration date then Milk, as Moneymaker gets to a vertical base frighteningly fast. Blind rage smolders in his hazel eyes, as he readies to run through Alix with the underside of his green boot. But Alix halts a possible impalement with a peculiar threat...

 

“If you touch me I will assemble a gang of ethnic minorities to pee in your mailbox.”

 

The disgusting thought of urine (ethnic minority urine at that!) greeting Moneymaker when he checks for his Business Week and New Yorker magazines is enough to draw harsh words from The Billion Dollar heir “That is the single most absur....”

 

The snobbish superstar is cut off mid sentence by a second diamond cutter from the California cutie! As the audience celebrates her bit of trickery, she covers her wounded enemy.

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

But Moneymaker kicks out long before the three count to the audience's dismay and to his stablemates' incredible relief. Relief, that's something the sassy babe doesn't allow Theodore as she picks him up and chucks him into the black ring ropes. Moneymaker calls upon a rare show of agility to combat the champion, and leaps onto the second rope for a springboard back elbow. Unfortunately the fact that his bulky frame isn't suited for high flying coupled with the blinding effect the massive amount of camera flashes, and roving white spotlights in the stands have on his eyes, causes him to mistime and misdirect his jump. Normally his opponent would be content to watch him go sailing past, and let the rock solid canvas do the rest. But to paraphrase Britney Spears “Alix isn't that innocent.” Thus she leaps into the air to meet Theodore, and presses her bare knees into his back, while coiling her hands around his face. Gravity then plays it's role and sends the pair plummeting to the mat bellow. But it's Moneymaker who's bears the brunt of Ally's wild counter, the breath knocked clear out of him by the lungblower. As Moneymaker lies on the mat coughing and hacking like a chain smoker, Alix determines that audience hasn't seen enough dancing for two lifetimes already, and channels the spirit of Maurice Gibb to bust out some funky disco moves.

 

Clutching his injured back with his left hand, Moneymaker steps to an unsteady vertical base. The dancing queen grabs his right arm and launches him towards the cables. However, wrestling's richest man uses his outstanding strength advantage to overpower his much smaller foe into a reversal. Rather then let her skirt off to the ropes, he brings her in close and roughly slams his knee into her stomach. The force of his furious attack doubles Alix over, and morphs her into a sitting duck for the clubbing forearm he drops across her back. The blow buckles her knees and sinks her to the canvas, where the pain spreads through her joints with terminal quickness. As the agony keeps her glued to the mat, The Billion Dollar Heir bounds to the ropes. He bounces back with his fist held at a tight 45 degree angle, and once he reaches Alix, he gracefully timbers sideways and lets his Fistful Of Dollarsfurther dismantle her back. While his associates applaud his signature strike, he rolls Alix over for a crucial pin...

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

Theodore's hopes for victory are significantly dampened, when Alix gets a shoulder off the mat.

 

COLE

Moneymaker's doing a good job working over Alix's back, but I don't think he should expect to get a pin off a fist drop. And certainly not one that takes twenty seconds to set up.

 

Ally feels the burn of sharp bone smashing against the muscles on her back, as Moneymaker unleashes a cavalry of elbow drops upon her. After the firestorm of strikes do their damage, he latches onto the strap of Alix's skimpy bikini top, and wrenches her to her feet. His thick arms snake around her body in preparation for a vertical suplex. But once he raises her skyward, his plan goes badly astray, as Alix's baby oil soaked frame slips through his grasp. She puts her easily won freedom to good use, wrapping one arm around his neck, while using her other to roughly jerk his right shoulder into the sky. It looks as if she's going for an illegal chokehold, but she's much too small to choke anyone out. Realizing this, The Hollywood Bad Girl quickly wheels Moneymaker to face her, while keeping hold of his neck, and morphing her grasp into a front facelock. Despite his sudden demobilizing of a bombardment of punches to her stomach, she encounters little difficulty in crushing him with a DDT.

 

With a finger pointed at her defeated foe, Alix stares imploringly at the audience and screams, “What's good byrdgang, let this dumb cracker know!”

 

“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” they reply on cue.

 

“SILENCE!” Wright bellows, with murder staining every strain of his voice.

 

“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” They return fire, turning Christian's face beet red with disgust.

 

The CEO of The Enterprise pushes himself up to his feet, trying to get his guard up despite the searing pain holding his neck hostage. Seconds later, The Hollywood Bad Girl becomes the one holding his neck hostage as she ambushes him with a ¾ headlock before zipping towards the nearest corner, running straight upwards and flipping over head to drive Moneymaker's skull through the mat with a sliced bread number two. But, the villain dodges the grizzly result of the high flying move, by latching onto the third rope and holding on for dear life. Ally lands on her feet, but hasn't much time to pout over her failed attack; Moneymaker roars towards her and an elbow strike springs to life from his body. The spunky babe tumbles underneath the incoming missile and brings herself to the second turnbuckle once she clears her challenger. His nostrils flaring with hate, the billionaire turns to crush her pretty face with a simple discus punch. But Alix is ready for him. She turns her body into a sudden arc of white and pink fury, and her extended arm shears through his chest. Her shooting star lariat blasts away George W's favorite wrestler and brings joy to the hearts of millions. Ally isn't finished yet, however, and returns to the second turnbuckle. She departs her post with knees tucked close to her stacked chest, and once she closes in on the moneyed man, her legs uncurl and her boots drop a double stomp onto his frame. But, Moneymaker's extensive anguish doesn't cease there; Alix, still standing triumphant atop his stomach, heaves herself into the sky, then bursts through Moneymaker's chest with an “assisted” corkscrew shooting star press. Moneymaker's roar of agony becomes a faded moan of despair bellow the endless ocean of cheers.

 

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

 

Silverman counts the ensuing pin, while Mackenzie falls into prayer for a quick kickout...

 

CROWD

ONE!

 

CROWD

TWO!

 

Mackie's prayers are answered in a style she didn't expect, as Christian Wright enters the ring to pull Ally off his partner. As the Anglemania crowd verbally rips him to shreds for his interference, he hauls Alix upright by her arm and flings her towards the ropes. Her return is greeted with CW spinning behind her, and netting her into a waistlock. No less then one second after applying that hold, Wright has a change of heart, and switches her into position for a back suplex. But Ally tries to evade this deadly technique by leaning forward and pressing her hands against the mat. As the official futilely tries to evict The Natural from the ring, The Hollywood Bad Girl attempts to travel to the ropes as if she's running a one woman wheel barrow race. But Wright quickly snuffs the life out of these plans as he lifts her into the air for the wheel barrow suplex. Just like always, Wright's grandiose scheme is burned to ashes by Alix as she braids her arm around his neck and plunges forward to smear his face along the floor with a bulldog.

 

“YEAAAAAAA!”

 

And now the macabre erotic comedy that is Christian Wright's participation in this match resumes in earnest. With a fetching swagger in her step, and coy hiss popping from her pink lips, Ally struts to the ring ropes. Once she reaches her destination, she gives herself a wedgie, exposing her scrumptious tan bootie to the horny audience, and causing Wright's little fella to struggle for sweet sweet freedom outside his pants. To further destroy the integrity of one's underwear, Alix bends her knees, and jiggles her big ol booty so fast you'd think she had hydraulics in her g-string. While most have already murdered their own children to get to the bottle of Johnson&Johnson and box of charmins, somewhere in Salt Lake City, a young Mormon is undergoing a personal war, a battle with one's morals over whether to enter the sacred place of love-love for one's self, love in a tender moment spent in a darkened room illuminated by the glorious image of a woman making her supple BUTT cheeks clap like she has a 454 in her tush. Why so reticent, my Mormonist friend? Why would you deny yourself the pleasure of beauty? The Pacific ocean as it glimmers into your world as you drive down the Pacific Coast Highway is beautiful. Beautiful. The way the sun sets over the shores of Laguna Beach is Beautiful. Beautiful. The carnal extravagance of Alix's bouncing BUTT is beautiful. Beautiful. If you can take six wives, I think you can pick up the bottle of lubricant.

 

Moneymaker has the good sense to hold his breath, focus on baseball stats from 1989, and recite the lyrics from TNT by ACDC, and so remains boner free. But, Christian? Oh, Christian, you poor fool! In the classic case of “when it rains it pours”, Wright's “upstanding citizen” is once again broadcast for the laughter of millions watching at home, and the millions who will pirate the show on BitTorrent.

 

Wright stands up, and his unsteady voice demands the chortling crowd be silent. Preoccupied with his unproductive efforts to silence his many enemies in the stands, he fails to observe Alix cartwheeling towards him. When her legs lock around his neck, he finally takes notice. But by then it's far too late to prevent The Hollywood Bad Girl from bending backwards over the ropes with a hurricanrana! Moneymaker's wingman tumbles away through the air, over the ropes, and onto the paper thin mats covering the concrete floor bellow. The fans salute Alix's graceful showing, with a few front row crowd members taking time to jaw at the near unconscious Wright. Christian can't even take comfort in the fact that she suffered a similar fate as he, for she elegantly skinned the cat to return to the ring.

 

“Rest in peace, ese, mourn ya till I join ya” She claims, leaning over the ropes to taunt a man who can hardly hear her over the cheers for his ill fate.

 

Her moment to mock poor Christian has given his comrade the opportunity to sneak behind and dump her out of the squared circle. But thanks to a shout of “look out!” from a five year old girl in the front row, Ally thwarts her rival's efforts by horsewhipping him with a backhanded slap. As the sound of her hand tearing through his face speeds around the arena, Moneymaker recoils, seeking to establish distance between himself and the champion. Alix is more then happy to let him retreat, because it allows her to leap onto the third rope, and springboard back with a cross bodyblock. However, Theodore catches her into his muscular arms, and a devious smile replaces what was once a frown of aggravation. He swings her to his side, thinking he can simply dump aside the featherweight like rotten garbage. It's a fantasy that doesn't come to fruition, thanks to Alix crooking her arm around his oversized head, and twirling through the air to pulverize him with the Sucker Free DDT (tornado DDT). The trademark move swallows Moneymaker's fighting spirit, leaving only the enormous noise of the crowd, and a weakened man crumpled to his knees in the center of a wrestling ring. The Hollywood Bad Girl hooks the billionaire's legs for a pinfall...

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

CROWD

THREE

 

No! Theodore Moneymaker kicks his way free from the jaws of defeat, and the Toronto fans are livid as a result. The cameras dart towards the outside of the ring, and a single image fills the massive video screens at the entry way, that of Mackenzie DeCenzo's face turned white from the pure horror of her team's near defeat.

 

COACH

He was just kicking out late for dramatic effect. You have to give the people a good show.

 

Alix seems to be much less perturbed then the other 69,000 people in the arena, and cheerily goes to her corner to tag in Krista. Miss California's entry into the affair is greeted with the expected rousing ovation from the stands, and the exact opposite reaction from a grousing Moneymaker. He rushes to her corner to blast her into the steel guardrail with a shoulder block before she can continue the mayhem Ally has started. But Krista greets his charge by slicing her shoulder into his midsection. The shot halts the billionaire in his tracks, and doubles him over. Krissy then launches herself into the ring with a basic sunset flip. Unfortunately for her, Theodore grasps the ropes in a desperate defense. His monstrous weight advantage isn't something Krista is going to waste her time trying to overcome, so she simply ditches the move, and heads to the opposite ropes. Her ambition is to shatter Moneymaker's face with a running knee lift. Problematically, she's dealing with the crown prince of knee lifts, who retains his throne when he darts forward and shreds her to ribbons with the $Billion Dollar Knee lift$.

 

COACH

That's why he's a billionaire!

 

COLE

Because he can run and raise his knees into the air? You can do that and you still live with your parents.

 

Always preferring to cover his bases, Moneymaker pulls a wad of cash from his tights, and shoves it into Silverman's pocket, offering little more communication then a knowing smile. Once that unpleasant business is appropriated, he covers his fallen victim.

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

The money was poorly invested, for Krista lifts her shoulder off the canvas. Theodore is beyond furious with this result, and in an act that's certain to get his inheritance slashed in half, he accosts the referee, raving and ranting like a strung out maniac deprived of his fix, as he digs into the frightened official's pocket for his misspent dollars. Fortunately, the distressed zebra is saved from the crazed lion by Krista, who simply launches Moneymaker towards the ringpost. Seconds after the Billion Dollar heir's back collides with the ringpost, his chest is concaved with a leaping lariat from the queen of fitness! The momentum of the aerial strike is so awesome that it charts Miss California feet first through the ring ropes and towards the outside world. Fortunately for the thousands in attendance, their adored heroine evades a ruinous crash to the mats by expertly landing her boots onto the ring apron. While the fans applaud for her high impact shows of agility, her rival sags to his BUTT, overwhelmed by an incredible exhaustion.

 

COLE

I'm surprised we haven't seen CPA make himself felt in this match.

 

As a former dancer for Guns N Roses, Krista celebrates her rock n rolls roots by doing the Chuck Berry duck walk across the ledge. Alix has never been one to pass up an opportunity to get her groove on, and leaps off the apron, and heads to Krista's side to mimic her jumping forward on one leg while moving the other in a back and forth manner. Trust me, it's a lot cooler then I make it sound!

 

COACH

This is Anglemania, not MTV's The Grind!

 

COLE

The Grind? Please update your TV Guides from 1996.

 

After finishing her tribute to a rock n roll legend, Krista returns to the task of retaining her 90th most valued position, the oaoast tag team titles. She glides across the ring apron, nearing the sunken Moneymaker, who sits unaware of her treacherous intentions. Miss California slingshots herself over the ropes, and when she nears her challenger, her smooth legs extend to obliterate his facial structure with a dropkick. The Billionaire's thick fingers grope uselessly at his now battered face, trying to nurse away the immense pain. Krista seeks to pile on an additional helping of hurt, and drags Moneymaker upright where she rips through the armor of hair on his chest with a knife edge chop. The tycoon's hands instinctively move to protect his wounded pectorals, leaving his once guarded head vulnerable. The blond bombshell capitalizes on this ill advised defense tactic by bludgeoning his skull with a roundhouse kick. Somehow Theodore remains on his feet through the move, but the pain is evident as screams of terror tunnel their way from his throat. While the money baron wobbles in a haze, Krista runs to the ropes, and bounces back to floor him with a leaping elbow smash. But Moneymaker undergoes a miraculous recovery, and intercepts Krista with a forearm uppercut. She utters a low guttural growl of anguish, as she staggers backwards, clutching her sore chin. The Billionaire stalks her retreat, and drives the point of his padded elbow into her forehead. Three successive imitations of the strike follow, each dealt with more crushing impact then it's predecessor. Alternating waves of hot and cold wash over her face as the most violent blow yet wrenches her insides. But the worst is yet to come for Miss California, as Moneymaker's hands weave around her neck for his signature sleeperhold. Krista has no intentions of allowing her rival to see the move to completion, however, and summons a supernatural show of strength to brush through his clinch, and spin behind him. Moneymaker efforts an attempt to whirl to face Krista, but his neck is held in place by her soft hands. Then his whole body is capsized by Krista's finisher Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse x-factor) Moneymaker now lies on the canvas a two hundred thirty five pound ruin, grey-faced and shaking.

 

YEAAAAAA!

 

Krista extends her arm forward to hook his leg for a crucial pinfall. The audience gets to their feet and counts along with each slap of the mat.

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

A recuperated Christian Wright races into the ring to rescue his fleeting title hopes. But Alix's clears the ring ropes to cut him off with a dropkick! The blow connects with deadly precision, knocking Wright off his stride and thrilling the fans. However, the after affect of the strike is anything but thrill worthy; Silverman inexplicably stops his count to admonish Alix for doing what any right thinking person would do in her situation. Alix is less then accepting of the rebuke, but pushes aside her disquiet to plead with Silverman to return to scoring the pinfall.

 

“COUNT THE PIN! COUNT THE PIN!” the audience chants, many are more vulgar in their heatedly stated requests.

 

COLE

What the heck is Silverman doing?

 

Many things, most important of which is ignoring a chair wielding CPA brazenly entering the squared circle! The savage monster heads to the location of his perished ally, and with a mighty roar, slams his weapon into Krista's back! Pain immediately explodes onto her bones, as the crowd is reduced into profanity raving lunatics.

 

COLE

He can't do that! That's not right!

 

COACH

He's about three hundred something pounds of bloated muscle mass, you tell him he can't do that! Go on and do it with ya ho ass!

 

CPA does one final dirty deed, placing Moneymaker onto Krista's body for a pin in his team's favor. He then exits the ring to receive congratulations from Mackenzie, and insults from the fans.

 

“Oh, Squire Silverman!” Christian begins, standing innocently on the ring apron. “At this timely crux one must presume true that a counting of the pinfall would be of utmost coruscation. Oui, oui?”

 

Silverman understood only one word from that sentence. Unfortunately for Krista it happened to be “pinfall” thus the referee departs his argument with Alix to administer the count.

 

ONE

 

COLE

Silverman, you blind turd! Didn't you see what happened?

 

TWO

 

THREE!!

 

Much like Wright is a premature ejaculator so is Mackenzie a premature speaker, for Krista kicks out just seconds before the final count. Moneymaker's face freezes with disgust as he glares at Silverman, straining with all his might to not pummel the man where he stands. Fortunately, Theodore finds a much more productive target for his anger, that of Krista Isadora Duncan's covergirl face. Mounted punches begin to detonate around her face, and she instantly moves her hands to protect herself. But the strikes come down too fast and move to erratically to properly block, granting The Billion Dollar Heir passage to terrorize her. She winces at the searing pain, and rolls onto her stomach to prevent incurring any more of it. But this only leads to Moneymaker employing much more despicable tactics. Gnashing his teeth in rage, he smashes his hands around her vibrant hair, and smothers her onto oaoast symbol on the canvas. It's almost as if the villainous tycoon is trying to drown her in a puddle of her own sweat and tears. Past his chortling, her own whimpers of distress can be heard through the ringside microphone

 

“LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” the fans chant, rallied on by Alix.

 

The support doesn't motivate Krista to do anything more then yelp in despair as she chokes on the loose strands of her own hair. In fact the chants have the opposite effect then intended,as the show of love drives Moneymaker to inflict even more harm on their heroine. He leaves her sorrowing shell face down on the canvas, and departs for the ring ropes. When they return him to his rival, he crooks his elbow in a vertical position, then drops to his knees to plant his strike onto her neck. Krista spasms under the attack, her neck and feeling like it's been stabbed repeatedly with a red hot poker.

 

In effort to aggravate a crowd that's already on the verge of rioting, The Billionaire Dollar Heir stands above his vanquished rival and begins his trademark laughter “MWHAHAHAHAHA!” Eventually his assortment of cronies and lackeys join in on the gesture, accomplishing Moneymaker's goal of further enraging the fanbase.

 

COLE

This guy is something else. But I will admit he's putting on a fine showing at his first Anglemania, and he's been in the ring forever. He doesn't look like it, but he is in excellent condition.

 

COACH

For a homosexual you have terrible taste in men. You heard, Miss DeCenzo, he's ruggedly handsome!

 

Krista is sharply aware that there's little way she'll be able to mount an offense in the face of Moneymaker's overpowering brawling tactics. The ropes beckon her, and she eagerly crawls to them in order to tag in her fresher partner. Unfortunately, her wounds have left her usually keen mind somewhat besotted, and she inadvertently slogs her way to the ropes nearest her foes' corner. The opportunistic Moneymaker is upon her instantaneously, using the ropes for leverage while her neck serves as his personal footrest. Feral joy fills his eyes, while he watches his prey struggle for life beneath him. Krista wants to howl, to beg, to scream, but her locked throat strangles the words inside her mouth. Trying to avoid an early nomination for “worst referee of the year”, Silverman requests that The Billionaire dismount the forlorn lass. Oddly enough, Moneymaker acquiesces to Silverman's demands. However, he then preoccupies the official by offering unsolicited Mutual Fund advice. Already thinking of diversifying his portfolio the perpetually inept Silverman listens intently, completely oblivious to the fact that CPA is dragging Krissy's limp carcass out of the ring. Mackenzie angrily directs traffic on the outside, telling CPA, in no uncertain terms to obliterate Miss California. The emotionless beast hastens to grant her orders; he uses Krista's body like a battering ram, and bulldozes her through the steel ring steps. A stabbing pain in her right shoulder causes her to hiss in agony, and the pain only grows worse when CPA roughly returns her to the ring. Looking up from the ground her sweat stained eyes spot Moneymaker rampaging towards her. She stares in helpless anguish as the Billion Dollar man goes airborne with an elbow drop. Within seconds she can feel the weight of his attack cascading onto her neck, causing her even more misery. His two enormous hands then cup around that oft-targeted neck and lead her to her feet. She moans through clenched teeth as Moneymaker leads her across the ring to his corner. Once he reaches his station he finally tags out of the contest and brings The Financial Analyst back into the bout. Krista's eyes go wide with terror as she watches Wright approach with a kneelift aimed at her neck. She tries to scramble away, but her movement is unusually slow, and Wright calmly knees her in the head, riddling her dazed and nauseous. She sags over the ropes, face drained of color, mouth slack, and stomach on the verge of vomiting. Wright shows her no mercy, however, and grabs her into an inverted facelock, which results in a neck crushing inverted ddt. He follows the harsh strike with a pinfall....

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

Krista rips her shoulder off the canvas, giving the crowd their first reason to cheer in quite some time. Hatred rises in Christian's dark orbs in response to failed count, but he keeps his grievances to himself and wisely focuses on the task of defeating Krista. The Financial Analyst hoists her up once more and puts her on a path towards the ropes. But all does not go according to plan for Wright, for when the blond bombshell reaches the ropes, she does a handstand, then launches her twirling body towards him with a spin kick. Holding his hands to his face provides no protection for the man, and a rain of boots knocks him to the canvas! The fans are ecstatic to see Krissy actually effort an attack, and bring forth thunderous chants of her name. Wright obviously doesn't share in their enthusiasm, and as he sits up, a frown wrinkles along his forehead. Unfortunately the situation grows graver for him when he watches the viscous vixen float into the air with a shooting star press. His begrudging amazement over her agility subsides the second her legs unravel into a dropkick. The soles of her boots blaze into his face, gushing blood from a freshly created cut above his eye.

 

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” roar the audience.

 

COLE

Wow! A shooting star seated dropkick.

 

The tremendous mutilation of his comrade seizes Moneymaker's attention, and yanks the tycoon into the ring. He darts towards Miss California with arm extended for a lariat, but she simply uses his lengthened arm as some manner of lasso to launch the rest of his body into a vacant corner. Krista cartwheels towards his turnbuckle based body and strikes him with an elbow just as he was raising his arm to clobber her. The Billionaire suddenly loses his strength, and crashes down on himself, shattering his face against the mat. Fortunately for him, Krista has already forgotten his presence, and is rolling towards a doubled over Wright. Once she closes in on the Washingtonian, her cat like agility bucks her into the air, and her right leg hovers above his neck like a guillotine. Within moments gravity brings the blade down, and Wright's neck is sawed through with a crowd popping fameasser. The fitness queen then pins Christian Wright, and the audience counts along..

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

Moneymaker charges across the ring to end the pin at the last possible moment!

 

“BOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Eyes narrowed into sinister slits, Theodore brings the groggy fitness queen to her feet once more, and dishes her to the cables. Her last burst of astounding offense seems to have drained what little energy she had left, and she runs herself into the brickwall that is Moneymaker's lariat. Dropped to the canvas, she clutches her neck as hot pain sprays from her attacked jugular. At this point, Wright has recovered well enough to take the reigns of violence from Moneymaker, and kindly ushers his partner out of the ring. With Moneymaker departed, Wright snatches his elbow into the air, and flings it downward with all his strength at the figure at his feet. The deadly missile hits perfectly, striking her neck and pulping what little chances she has of winning this contest. And so he attempts another pin...

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

The SoCal Beauty defiantly kicks out, leaving an exasperated Wright to direct a menacing stare Silverman's way. CW then deposits the under sole of his dress shoe into Krista's neck, causing the best selling author to spasm in pain. Five more savage stomps follow, each accompanied by those disheartening convulsions. CW finally ceases his stomping, now possessing a devilish intent to shatter her neck with a German Suplex. He hauls her up into a rear waistlock, and makes certain to pull her away from Alix, so that the emotionally shattered brunette can't interfere in his plans. The Natural raises her into the air, then dives backwards, executing a mammoth suplex! While the fans react with cringes and cries, the extraordinary force of the move carries Krista upright and directs her staggering body towards The Enterprise corner. Always seeking an excuse to inflict as much pain as possible on a democrat, George W's favorite sports entertainer leans over the ropes and cruelly slugs her in the back of the head with a forearm! Not only does this cheap shot give rise to an ear splitting orchestra of boos, but it appears to light a passionate fire underneath Krista. Straining to see through the streams of hot sweat that obscure her vision, she lunges at the detested Billionaire with a straight left cross. However Moneymaker eludes her questing hands by quickly leaping off the ring apron, leaving his attacker to awkwardly crash against the ropes. The cables then rebound the diva into a neckbreaker from Christian! Upon seeing his vanquished adversary sprawl across the mat in defeat, Wright scurries to cover her and make this victory official.

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

Krista just barely gets her shoulder up, prolonging her third title reign for just a bit longer. A bleak chill emanates from Wright's hard face as he stares down Billy Silverman over the slowish count.

 

COLE

Why does it seem like everyone in this company has some kind of problem with the officials? They're doing the best they can.

 

COACH

Fifteen minutes ago you called Silverman a blind turd.

 

Christian stands up and brings Krista along with him. Sneering like a madman, his piercing eyes gaze across the ring, trying to uncover a way to use the environment to his advantage. Peering at Krissy's weary face, he's struck with a treacherous scheme. Soon he showcases his plot to the world, dragging Krista to his corner.

 

“For Ned!” he hollers, before violently ramming her face against the second turnbuckle pad. The “For Ned” comment truly sets off the audience, and they produce an earth shaking clamor of boos loud enough to wake the dead.

 

Watching Krista sink to the mat in pain, Moneymaker is motivated to resume his new favorite past time of making her life a miserable hell. A quick tag is made, and a chuckling (isn't he always?) Billionaire hits the ring. He grabs Krissy's arm and hurls her towards the ropes. They quickly giftwrap her back to his waiting elbow smash. However Miss California is able to leap onto his shoulders to avoid the harsh strike. The Billionaire becomes wrought with panic as Krista's lovely legs slide around his neck, and work to constrict his breathing. His fears prove to be well founded, as she flips The Enterprise CEO head over heels with a majestic hurricanrana that whips the seventy five thousand onlookers into a frenzy!

 

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

 

Silverman counts the ensuing pinfall...

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

But Moneymaker kicks out!

 

COLE

So close!

 

Moneymaker begins a slow rise to his fest. But his ascension is halted when a colossal wrecking ball in the form of a basement dropkick is swung into his skull. The excellently placed attack rocks his neck back and forth like a bobble head and sends the overwhelmed gladiator bouncing away in pain. Krista, breathing bloody murder, closes the distance between her foe with three lanky steps. With fierce glee surging through her heart, she reaches downward to drag him to his feet. But suddenly an uppercut from Moneymaker rises through the gates of hell and lands upon her six packed stomach. Taken aback by this unexpected brush of pain, Krissy can't help but emit a chilling scream of terror. These awful shrieks reduce the typically elegant Moneymaker into the state of primeval beast who sniffs the blood of a mangled, but still living, prey. And now the lupine wolf moves in for the killing blow. Taking hold of her boobsational outfit he roughly yanks her to her feet. A viscous growl emerges from his throat as he throws her into the cables. She returns to Moneymaker wielding only her outstretched arm, and possessing more zeal then common sense. The Billion Dollar Heir's arms snake out with lightening speed and yank her into a set up for a gorilla press slam. Dripping with perspiration, Krista pits her meager escape effort against Theodore's almost casual display of power. But her valiant bid for freedom ultimately proves hopeless in the face of Moneymaker's incredible strength. He drops her across his shoulders, then spins her in front of him, and splatters her neck onto his outstretched knee! Tentatively, fearfully, Alix recoils, stricken with concern for Krista's welfare. Caught up in a fit of delirious chortling for his mammoth move, Moneymaker drapes his arm across Krista's heaving chest.

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

Krista somehow finds the strength to kick out, generating the largest pop of the contest. In a state of pure disbelief, Moneymaker attaches a stare onto Silverman that's as hard as steel and only a scrape short of openly hostile.

 

COACH

Can you imagine what it would be like to win a title belt at your first ever Anglemania? That's what Mister Moneymaker is on the verge of doing right now.

 

Drool oozes from the tips of a predatory snarl, as Moneymaker circles his tantalizing victim. He can't control the giddy euphoria that's filled him over the prospect of being able crush what's left of her brutalized spirit. Amidst Moneymaker's consumption by his vulgar fantasies, the surfer chick finds the requisite energy to push herself to her feet. Yet there's whole second before she's fully balanced. That brief second is all Theodore needs to skewer her with a shoulder block. Krista, drawing on her last ounce of strength, stuns him, The Enterprise, the crowd, Alix, and even herself by leaping onto his shoulders for a victory roll. Not wishing to risk a flash pinfall, a suddenly aghast Moneymaker steps forward and lets Krista slide right off his upper body. Unfortunately she lands on her feet, facing him while he’s facing away from her. This means that she's in the perfect spot to cause him immeasurable damage, and he's in a horrible spot to do anything about it. Miss California grabs his arm and violently twirls him around so that they stand face to face. The Enterprise czar has zero time to react before Krista sticks her shoe into his gut, doubling him over. She latches onto his head then spins him like a merry-go-round with a tornado DDT. However, Moneymaker succeeds in squirming free in midair, preventing the potentially neck breaking move from finishing him off. The avoidance puts him off balance for brief moments and teeters back several inches. But Moneymaker gathers his equilibrium relatively quickly, and rampages towards Krista with a lariat. Light in her eyes stoked to full fire, the bombshell goes airborne, heading straight up like a rocket. As Moneymaker nears, she extends her legs, and drives her boot into the back of his cranium, obliterating his skull with a spinning wheel kick! Moneymaker is knocked head over heels, plummeting to the mat in chaotic fashion.

 

”KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

 

COLE

Krista's gotta make the tag now!

 

His desire to torture Krista taking a momentary backseat to a primal urge to survive, Moneyamker rolls away, creating some much needed distance between he and his resurgent archrival. However, Krista isn't in as nearly as good a health as Moneymaker has been tricked into believing; she seems to be swimming against an agonizing current, the duress she's under making her crawl to her corner an unbearably arduous one. Alix is dying to prevent Krista's sublime beauty from being reduced to ashes, and furiously beats on the turnbuckle to rally her fallen partner. Soon the entire stadium joins in, stamping their feet in unison, sounding like a pack of wild elephants are running down the streets of Toronto. Drawing on their heartwarming show of support, Kris, face steeled with gritty determination, digs her nails into the canvas, and desperately claws her way to the corner. Suddenly Moneymaker stirs, giving rise to concerned gasps from the crowd. He locks his hand around her ankle, trying his hardest to freeze her in place. Despite Theodore's tight lockdown, Alix's unwavering encouragement sparks Krista to fight past the cutthroat bully. With one titanic lunge, she surges forward make a hot tag to her perky partner!

 

YEAAAAAAA!

 

The cheers and excitement are for naught however, as the ever devious Mackenzie DeCenzo utilized her feminine charms to distract the inept Silverman as the tag was being made. The fans are understandably enraged, and cups of beer, cartons of popcorn, and wrappers from hot dogs are all targeted towards the buffoonish official.

 

COLE

Is this guy some kind of idiot?

 

“SHOOT THIS JACKASS! SHOOT THIS JACKASS!” they chant in reference to Silverman.

 

Rather then take shelter from the bombardment of garbage heading his way, Silverman actually pays attention to what's going on in the ring sets up an impasse to Ally's entry into the contest. An uncharacteristic black fire smokes from the depths of her usually good natured heart, and threatening words so cold that they transcend fury are leveled at Silverman in a deeper, darker, tone. Elsewhere Moneymaker's good health has been restored sufficiently enough to enable the old school brawler to pick Krista up by her slinky booty shorts and toss her over the ropes. Once Krista lands on the floor, Christian Wright hops off the apron to dish out his own brand of punishment. The Natural throws himself at the champion with the force of a battering ram. Landing atop the dazed diva, he begins throwing punches that tear at her badly injured neck with fuming ferocity.

 

COACH

The champion asserts his dominance!

 

Smoking with blind furor, Alix has desisted all efforts to reason with the world's worst referee. She throws caution over a DQ loss to the wind, and cuts a swarth right through the hated official, so that she may rescue Krista from the violent thrashing.

 

COLE

Alix is on her way!

 

Wright deposits Krista in the ring by her breastabulous top so that she can at least be pinned by his trusted employer, but there's little he can do defend against the fury of her woman's scorn. The head of Enterprise security, CPA, tries to assert himself over the much smaller Alix, tightening his amazing muscles to place the dread of intimidation in her mind. But, you're really not that intimidating when a woman decides to kick you square in the junk. And that is precisely the manner of execution that will end CPA's participation in this contest.

 

“OOOOOH!” the crowd responds to removal of CPA's manhood

 

The man grimaces in agony-until Alix uses a nearby monitor to relieve him off his consciousness and about a pint of blood.

 

Awestruck by Alix's blistering rage, a nervous Wright assumes an MMA inspired stance, knowing that no matter how angry Alix is, she can never hope to beat him in a fistfight. Unfortunately Alix hasn't come to trade punches. No, she's simply arrived to slap Christian Wright in the face. And slap him she does. With a twenty pound television monitor. Wright tumbles to the mats bellow, trailing beads of sweat like a shooting star. Bright arterial blood spews forth from the man's mutilated forehead.

 

“My head!” the maimed blueblood screams, a moment before Alix tramples his body with her furry boots. Hoping to prevent Alix from tromping Wright into a two hundred twenty five pound hamburger, Silverman exits the squared circle to try and reason with the crazed lass. But Alix holds just as much hatred in her heart for Silverman as she does for Wright, and Billy's approach is greeted with the smoking of fury within her widened eyes.

 

The view returns to the ring just in time to see Moneymaker pedigree Krista!

 

COLE

Good lord where did that come from?

 

The incensed audience has no clue, and no answers, only focusing on their intense hatred for Moneymaker. Ignoring their anger, and smiling to himself over his impending title victory, Theo lays his body across Krista's for the pinfall.

 

“Get in the ring, you fool!” Mackenzie barks to Silverman, who's still preoccupied with Alix.

 

Though Silverman would love to comply with the (somewhat) classy lady's request, the fact that Alix rudely shoves him to the ground makes this an unattainable goal. Her rough treatment of the zebra doesn't go unnoticed by the fans, who have wanted to do much worse to him as of late, and they loudly salute her actions. While they continue to chant her name, she scales to the top turnbuckle, completely undetected by Moneymaker.

 

ALIX

 

Without further ado The Hollywood Bad Girl goes airborne, dropping a bomb in the form of a corkscrew 450 splash onto The Billion Dollar Heir. Her body rakes perfectly across his back, even though he's given numerous warnings towards her descent from a panic riddled Mackie. The aerial strike leaves sharp red gouges on his ivory skin, and forces out a deep throated wail. However his screams of distress are suitably washed away by the excited bellowing of the now standing audience. Satisfied that she's taken crucial steps to preserving Krista's safety, Alix retreats to the ring apron and eagerly awaits a tag. At Mackenzie's harshly stated request, a bloodied Wright does the same, although it's fairly obvious his appetite for battle is far weaker then Alix's.

 

Krista sprawls stomach first on the mat, mortally exhausted, her sweat drenched locks cloaking her exasperated face. Through damp strands of hair, her blue eyes spot Alix on the ring apron, desperately appealing for a tag. Gritting her pearly white teeth together, she undertakes the fatiguing journey of trekking to her corner. Her mind urges her to move with great haste, keenly aware that the moneyed man won't lie dormant forever. But her impoverished body refuses to cooperate, taking it's sweet time in getting her to her destination.

 

“K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!”

 

At the zenith of the crowd's chant, the combatants rustle their exhausted bodies. They both slowly gain their feet and unsteadily inch their way upright. The combatants are bone weary, hardly able to tell what's going on or even what country they're in. Neither seems to have the slightest clue of what to do next as they teeter back and forth on weakened knees. Moneymaker stands on one leg, comically swatting at mythical foes like a drunk after happy hour. Krista, however, encounters better luck then him, and is blessed with surge of desperate energy. She clenches her fists together and uses her last trace of strength to sprawl forward to make the tag with her partner in state sponsored civil union, Alix Spezia! The capacity crowd goes nuclear for Alix's arrival, nearly taking the roof off the arena with their cheers!

 

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

 

An anger-crazed Alix leaps over the ropes, a brigades' worth of firepower. Moneymaker is the first to feel the scorch of her fire, mowed down by a dropsault. Clenching his teeth through pain and nausea, the tycoon quickly rises and charges at the Hollywood Bad Girl with arm extended. But Ally dodges his sword thrust, and grabs onto Theodore's other arm, using it to pummel him with the True Life:I just got beat up by a girl(STO)! Driven to the mat, Moneymaker croaks as though dying, and fragments of spit seep from his mouth. The fans are overjoyed by his beating and send their cheers into the air. Wright, however, does not partake in their enthusiasm, and defends his employer's honor with a clubbing forearm. Face flushed with blood and rage, Wright hacks Ally's back with a second forearm, moments before he dispatches her to the ropes. Unfortunately for him Alix returns in attack mode, leaping upwards and latching her lovesome legs around his neck for a spinning head scissors. Wright's reaction to the aerial move is swift and harsh, sitting out and punishing Alix's cute face with a face buster. The move comes with bone jarring force, and leaves Alix momentarily dazed, the perfect opportunity for Wright to pin her. And so he does...

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

THREE!

 

Alix kicks out, and there's an ear splitting celebration from the rafters. Christian is stunned with disgust, and scarcely able to fathom the proper words to argue the failed count. He forces Ally to her feet, then peppers her with a series of jabs. Having punched her into a stupor, CW heads to ropes, scanning his brain for the perfect attack to unleash upon the champion. Unfortunately his return does not go as smoothly as planned as Alix pulverizes his cranium with the Burning Sensation When You Urinate(sunset flip piledriver)

 

“YEAAAAA!”

 

The hold renders Wright's head into dust, and has him singing a tune of agony into the night sky. But these screams are soon muffled by the sound of the crowd counting along with Alix's pin...

 

CROWD

ONE!

 

CROWD

TWO!

 

CROWD

THREE!

 

But the sadistic CEO of The Enterprise is upon the culinary sensation at once, bludgeoning her body with devastating kicks and blows. Icy disdain and hatred smoldering from her spirit, Alix weaves through the unending wave of strikes to battle back against the villain. But Moneymaker's fists and boots crash against Alix's back like a rain of meteors until her battered form drops back to the floor, panting and gasping. As Alix's body lays defeated, Moneymaker carries himself to ring ropes to build up speed and power for the Fistful of Dollars. But when he reaches his destination, he's reintroduced to a most irksome enemy, Krista Isadora Duncan, who slams his throat onto the stone solid ring cables! A red faced Moneymaker recoils across the squared circle, pawing at his jugular as if there were actually hands he could displace. Worse yet, his tear streaked eyes spot a standing Alix waiting to scorch him like the eternal flames of hell. Unable to think of any attack to fire, Moneymaker weakly puts his hands up in defense and prays for the best. It's a surprisingly wasted gesture, as Alix merely gives him a piece of notebook paper. It reads as such....

 

 

MONEYMAKER

Diamond cutter by Alix!

 

ALIX

 

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

 

Before Ally can attempt a pinfall, Christian Wright steps forward, uncoiling his arm into a forearm smash. The Hollywood Bad Girl halts the strike by slamming her knee into his gut. But sneering through his thin black goatee, Wright finds his mark with a punch aimed towards her stomach. Ally is doubled over by the strike and braces for the blow she knows is coming. Yet no amount of preparation can prepare her against the searing pain that races through her back, as Wright's clubbing forearms tear into it again and again. The strong blow makes ribbons of her back, burning her skin as if it was doused with gasoline. Once finished with the forearms, The Natural transfers his whimpering rival into a front facelock. Alix instantly twists within the bond, desperately trying to break free, but Wright's grip is as tight as cast iron bars and he lifts her into the air. Her feet are then hung over the rope, leading a chilly buzz of dread to emanate from those audience members who know exactly what Christian has planned.

 

COACH

It looks like he's going for the Conversion Rate!

 

Looks like being the operative words, for Krista saves her girl from certain disaster by grabbing onto the wad of fur around her ankles and yanking her away from The Financial Analyst. The audience breathes several sighs of relief as they watch Alix's nerve wracked body land gently onto the ring apron. Christian, on the other hand, twitches with revulsion, at the thought of his finisher gone astray, and charges to Krista to punish her for her insubordination. Miss California matches and exceeds his furor, as she springboards across the ring for a DDT. Her arms snatch his neck, and her tan legs coil around his waist for a modification of an implant ddt. However, The Natural has zero wishes to let his brains be dribbled along the canvas, and hooks his arms underneath her shoulder blades. Soon an eternal struggle is waged over Krista's DDT and Christian's Wright Off (Ryden Bomb), with every fan in the city firmly on the side of Miss California. Despite the fan support, it's Wright's overpowering strength that beats out Krissy's lunatic rage, and the Wright Off is completed with horrible results. Silverman counts the ensuing pin as Krista cries hoarsely...

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

THREE!!

 

No, Krista lifts her shoulder upwards, and the fans, who had resigned themselves to an Enterprise victory, are caught off guard with euphoria. Krista rises to her feet and grabs onto the ropes for support...just as Moneymaker's running shoulder block slams into her with bone jarring force. Krista is thrown backwards across the ring, shattering the ringpost right next to Alix's resting head. The sudden impact leaves her dazed and seeing stars.

 

The fans try to rally her, “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!”

 

COACH

When you make a hot tag you're supposed to start beating up the other team. But Alix and Krista are back in the same position they were before the tag was made.

 

Wright's claws dig into Krista's shoulders and drag her upright. He whips her around into a waistlock and quickly hurls her onto her worn down neck with a release German suplex. The Billion Dollar Heir then pounces on his fallen opponent, bearing down on the blond bombshell like a ton of steel. Punches fall rapid fire, and behind Moneymaker the audience goes berserk, enraged to see their favorite treated thus. At Wright's insistence Theodore lifts Krista upright then hits her with a backhanded blow that sends her tumbling into the black cables. Letting out a high pitched screech of satisfaction, Wright captures Krista into a front facelock and raises her in front of his body. Her wiggling legs land on both sides of Moneymaker's neck, completing the setup for the Snapshot.

 

COLE

I don't think we've seen The Enterprise use this double team before!

 

And nor shall you, as Krista's agility allows her to swing her legs away from their jailer and aid her in defeating Wright with a swinging DDT! The fans come alive with a thunderous ovation for Kris' avoidance of the match ending move. But Kris has no time to bask in their adulation for an enraged Moneymaker is rappelling on her with a shoulder block! The femme fatale counters his approach with unerring ease, leaping into his chest for an inverted lung blower! Rather then drop him to the canvas, the impact of the hold pushes him into ropes. The cables, much like the audience, can't stomach Mister Moneymaker, and vomit him back towards his rival, who pulls him down with a rollup!

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

CROWD

THREE!!

 

Bu, Mackenzie DeCenzo enters the ring to break up the count with her boot!

 

“BOOOOOOOO!”

 

Though Mackenzie is quite satisfied with her handiwork, she becomes every bit as fearful when she eyes the cold worm of hatred slithering out of Krista's frigid stare. As the crowd murmurs in anticipation for the beating she's sure to receive, Mackie backs away, pleading with Krista for any semblance of mercy. But Krista is a wrathful goodness and there will be no mercy for Mackie. But, what happens next is sure to provide a lifetime of midnight-choking material for fans across the globe. Krista holds her squirming victim in place by hair, then proceeds to thrust her tongue through Mackie's auburn lips for a saucy kiss. Her tongue strokes Mackie's, making her shiver a bit. Deeper it seeks, curling to the back of her teeth and leaving not a single inch unexoplored. A stab of white-hot pleasure shoots through Mackie's system when as she feels the woman's tongue swirl over her captured lip. Mackie forces her own tongue against Krista's lips and the kiss is reestablished when the brunette releases Kris' lip and sucks the blonde's lusting tongue back into her mouth.

 

COACH

 

THE VIEWERS

 

While Mackie may not have been overly bothered by the sultry liplock, looking more like she quite enjoyed it, the actions are an incendiary boiling point for Moneymaker, and he aims to flatten Krista with a Lou Thez press. But, Stone Cold, the blue blood ain't, and Krista encounters little difficulty in catching his tree trunk sized legs and sinking him to the canvas! Ignoring the pain of being slammed onto his back, Moneymaker takes up the duty of worming his way free of Krista's clutches. Unfortunately for him his efforts are defeated by a high angle boston crab (walls of jericho). The fans are unguarded with their feelings for the move, they want no dramatic end, only the swift defeat of Moneymaker, and they loudly repeat the word “TAP!”. Yet, they'll have wait to wait just a little longer to see their girls' hands raised in victory, as Christian Wright grabs hold of Kris' beautiful golden hair and uses it to sling her over the ropes and to the floor. While the fans boo his actions, The Natural follows his beleaguered rival to the outside. Beer cans and popcorn boxes thrown from the stands pepper his weakened body, but do not distract him from the task of draping Krista's broken frame onto the Azerbaijan(?!) announce table.

 

COLE

What's going on here? Someone stop this madness, damn it!

 

Spewing labored breathes, Wright prepares to stuff his opponent into a standing head scissors. But Krista is bestowed with a sudden revival, and it's Wright who's placed in mortal danger as she takes hold of his legs and drops him onto his back.

 

“Sweet dreams, darling!” She screams above the roar of the wild fanbase. Paying no heed to Wright's calls for clemency, Miss California bends backwards and slingshots him over. With nothing to halt his path, the screaming and hollering Wright is cast through the air like a stone aimed at Goliath. Gravity finally has enough of his hogging the air space and pulls him down in front of Michael Buffer's flashy dress shoes. Though he's no fan of The Enterprise, Buffer half heartedly inquires into Wright's health, getting little more then an agonized grunt in response. Silverman is more proactive in protecting Christian's safety, leaning through the ropes and ordering Krista to cease her thumping.

 

Meanwhile, Moneymaker is bounding off the ropes to crush Alix's nose with a $Billion Dollar Knee lift$. The move meets with absolutely no success as when Moneymaker leaps into the air with extended knee, The Hollywood Bad Girl hops onto that knee and uses it as a launching pad to horsewhip her boot across his face with a shining wizard! Moneymaker falls to the canvas, trailed by a wad of spit and a bloodcurdling scream!

 

YEAAAAAA!

 

Ally goes for a pinfall, but amid all the chaos of Wright being flung halfway to Manitoba, the referee is a bit distracted. Alix, having already had her fair of issues with the zebra, churlishly demands that he return to the ring to score the pinfall. But for some insane reason, Silverman thinks he has to attend to Wright's lifeless body, a decision that once again makes him the prime target for thrown trash. Moneymaker uses the mass anarchy to his advantage; he sneaks behind Alix and drops her with a sleeper hold slam! A pin follows, and unsurprisingly, Silverman decides that Wright is a lost cause and retreats to the ring to administer the count! But he gets no farther then the ring steps before Miss California grabs onto his ankles and hurls him to the mats, delighting the capacity crowd! Silverman complains about his rough treatment at the hands of fitness beauty, but a look of flaming outrage from her perturbed face silences all complaints. She enters the squared circle herself, and is immediately placed under fire from a trifecta of punches from The CEO of The Enterprise. Though the first two strikes land with incredible precession, the third one moves at a dangerously slow speed. As such the foxy mama is able to catch onto Theodore's attacking arm and whip him into the far corner. As he runs to the posts, Krista takes her own journey to the ropes, timing it so that when he staggers out of the corner she is able to plant him with a facecrusher! Miss California puts an exclamation on Moneymaker's continued annihilation, when she takes to the ropes and comes down on him with the lionsault. Monyemaker screams like a madman, his raspy cries of despair joining the deliriously happy scream of the crowd in one final moment of communion.

 

Unfortunatley, there's two problems with the aftermath of this display of teamwork; the referee is still MIA, and worse yet Wright, once thought to be on a one way trip to the Injured Reserve, soars from the top turnbuckle, swooping down over the ring like a prehistoric bird of prey!

 

“Oh shit.” Krista mutters herself as she's about to become the middle of a very disturbing sandwhich.

 

Thankfully for Krista, Alix is slightly more action-oriented then she, and pulls her clear of Wright's trajectory. OOOMPH! Wright lands with a nauseating thud onto his comrade's chest, instantly claiming all the air in both blue bloods' lungs. The Natural lifts his battered bones off Moneymaker, much more concerned with his own health then that of his nearly knocked out associate. But he's offered no time to lick his wounds, as Alix pulls him upright and attaches him into a full nelson. Before he can even stage a proper defense, he's being flung downwards, courtesy of Alix's You Have Died of Dysentery (full nelson face crusher).

 

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” scream the audience, as the referee crawls back into the battleground.

 

With the official having returned to position, and all of Moneymaker's allies subdued, Krista begins what could very well be the final move of the contest. She sprints to the edge of the ring, and ascends to the highest cable. The ropes work as a launching pad, shooting her lionsaulting figure directly towards her fallen foe. She impacts precisely on the spot Wright just crashed landed into, robbing Theodore of whatever wind or energy remained in his body. Billy Silverman administers the resulting count, while the Anglemania crowd prays to the heaven's above that Moneymaker will be kept down for three pivotal seconds

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

CROWD

THREE!

 

COLE

She got it! It's over!

 

A resonating shout of celebration from the audience rocks the dome to it's very foundation. As a recorded version of All Good Things seeps out of the speakers, the fans high five each other, acting as if they were ones on the verge of losing their tag team titles. Buffer rises from his chair, preparing his voice to be heard over the deafening swell of noise.

 

BUFFER

Your winners...AND STILL OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.....

 

A gigantic pop speeds from the stands.

 

BUFFER

America's Sweethearts, The Hollywood "it" Girls, CHICKS OVER DICKS!

 

COACH

This can't be! True patriots, real Americans, Anderson Cup Winners, so close to tag title victory defeated? Is there no justice? No heaven? No love for America? No God given right of triumph?

 

Mackenzie shares similar sentiments of disbelief to Coach and tries to plead a case, any case, to Billy Silverman. There's nothing to be done, however, her unit has now become another name in the long list of teams that have fallen to Chicks Over Dicks. Elsewhere, Ally trades high fives with the front row fans, gleefully accepting their hugs and words of congratulations. Krista isn't known to go for the touchey feely fan interaction, and simply stays atop the highest turnbuckle, beaming her glimmering title to the applauding audience. Soon yellow, red, and pink confetti begins to drip free of the ceiling, first only a tiny bit, then an innumerable amount, like the opening drops of a summer cloudburst; finally they fall in a multi colored downpour that completely engulfs the winning pair. And as a pleasing side effect the rain of confetti buries the hated Moneymaker in a grave of embarassing failure.

 

COLE

They know how to make an entrance and they know to make an exit. Chicks Over Dicks successful once again! And The Enterprise, a stable full of billionaires and millionaires, is left asking the same question as Nelly Furtado, why do all good things come to an end?

Edited April 4, 2007 by Patty O'Green

[Tony149 0]

COLE

We send it over to one of our celebrity correspondents this evening, ESPN anchor Stuart Scott.

 

In front of the AM backdrop, the Heavenly Rockers, in their lucky Las Vegas Outlaws jerseys, stand alongside Stuart.

 

STUART

What's up OAOAST? Next on the program, the Sin City street fight between the Sooner Bruisers and Heavenly Rockers. Mister Esizer, let me start with you. Entering what may be the most pivotal and perhaps the most centroidal contest of your career, one must imagine that there are an inordinate amount of butterflies traversing through your stomach at this precise moment. How do you, a man of such legendary stature and platitude cope with this overwhelming fright?

 

SYNTH

The knowledge we've been here before. Just last year, in fact, when we defeated the New New Midnight Express in this type of match. Everything that needs to be said has. Now it's time to kick some booty and then go out and get some!

 

STUART

Yo, L-Mann, what's cracking, shorty? Is they hatin the playa-playa? Or is they hatin the playa's game? Ah say let the hatas hate, L-Mann, you straight butter, baby, take it to the phat farm. BOOOOOYAH! L-Mann, let the bustas do bustas, and L-Mann do L-Mann. Na'mean, lil shorty? Go on and get u a lil sumthin'-sumthin. HOME BOY IS BALLLLLLIN'!

 

LOGAN

And I'm gonna be busting a few balls momentarily, Stuart Scott. As the Synthmeister said, the time for talking is over, Sooner Bruisers. The threats have been made on both sides of the aisle and now it's to ACT THEM OUT! TURN FANTASY INTO REALITY! You committed the ultimate sin when you messed with our money and fame by putting us out of action. Tonight we get to return the favor. Loser leaves the OAOAST for 90 days. Our bags are packed for Thursday night, which means you're going to home watching sayeth Logan Usher Mann. Let's go do it!

 

Synth and Logan exit.

 

STUART

Be sure to stick around. Tony Schiavone will be here a little later in the program with more on the Heavenly Rockers opponents in the Sin City street fight, the Sooner Bruisers. Back to you at Sofa Central.

 

COLE

Great job, Stu. Right now let's go to the ring, and "Mean" Gene Okerlund!

 

OKERLUND

All right, thank you, Michael Cole! My guest at this time underwent major knee surgery a couple months ago after suffering a severe injury in the Anderson Cup. Now, in his first public appearance since the operation, here to give us an update on his condition, Toronto, please welcome KEN PANTERA!

 

Tom Sawyer hits and the crowd pops bigtime as Ken Pantera makes his way through the curtains on his crutches, accompanied by Alfdogg.

 

COLE

And this is the first time we've seen Ken Pantera, one half of Team Canada, since the first round of the Anderson Cup, when he was injured and had to undergo reconstructive surgery!

 

COACH

And Alf there to assist him into the ring!

 

Pantera gets into the ring and stands to Okerlund's left, while Alf stands to his right.

 

OKERLUND

Well, Ken, after your successful surgery, how soon can we expect to see you back?

 

PANTERA

Gene, the surgery was very successful, as you pointed out...my doctors gave me 4-6 months to recover, and I will, and when I come back, it'll be better than ever!

 

*crowd cheers*

 

OKERLUND

And speaking of better than ever, Alfdogg, that's where you're going to have to be to win your fourth Heartland championship tonight, I would suspect!

 

Alf grabs the mic.

 

ALF

I'll be good enough, don't you worry, pal.

 

Alf then turns to Pantera.

 

ALF

The question is, will YOU be good enough when you make your return?

 

The crowd starts to buzz, as Pantera looks puzzled.

 

ALF

Because you didn't look so hot before you had your injury...either way, we were looking at counting on one man winning the Anderson Cup for us!

 

Some of the crowd starts to boo.

 

OKERLUND

You've got to be kidding me!

 

ALF

And then, because you got a little boo-boo on your knee, you can't climb back in long enough even to tag Felix? That ain't gonna cut it, Ken!

 

The boos start to get louder.

 

ALF

Oh yeah, it may cut it for all you lumberJACKASSES in Toronto, but NOT FOR ME.

 

Now the crowd has totally turned on Alf.

 

ALF

So you better have it together...

 

Ken reaches out and grabs the mic from Alf.

 

KEN

I think YOU better have it together, Alf. You're the one who's got to come out here tonight, and wrestle the match of your life, and get that belt back. So let me pose the question again...will YOU be good enough?

 

Ken shoves the mic back into Alf, as the crowd cheers. Ken then turns to leave the ring. Big mistake. As soon as he turns, the mic comes down with a thud over his head!

 

COLE

Wait a minute!

 

The crowd totally shits on Alf, as his angry expression turns to a sadistic grin, and he grabs Ken's crutch.

 

COACH

I think you just got your answer, Ken!

 

Alf turns the crutch over, and JAMS IT INTO KEN'S KNEE!

 

COLE

NO!

 

Ken screams in pain, as Alf raises the crutch in the air, drawing boos.

 

COLE

This is disgusting!

 

Alf then lifts the crutch overhead, but as he does, Thunderkid runs to the ring and snatches it from him, then takes a big swing which misses as Alf bails.

 

COACH

THERE's the guy who better be ready, standing in the ring right now!

 

TK checks on Pantera, as officials swarm the ring. Alf is showered with boos on his way back to the locker room.

 

COLE

A despicable act by Alf, which only raises one question: What will he have in store for TK tonight, when they meet in a barbed-wire ladder match?

 

The guys in the truck scramble for some positives vibes and decided on this:

 

 

Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, host to the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the World Series and for a short time the site of WrestleMania. But on Sunday night, March 30, 2008, it will be host to the biggest spectacle in all of e-fed entertainment when the One & Only AngleSault Thread presents...

 

ANGLEMANIA VII

 

An event so big not even the threat of terrorism can stop it!

Edited April 3, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

 

COLE

A big night ahead for The Lightning Crew, and it starts in just a few moments, as the 1st Lady of The Lightning Crew, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez takes on the OAOAST Women's Champion, Ashley Street, for the Women's Championship!

 

COACH

Oh baby! I can't wait for this one! Lindsay is going to bring the Women's Title to The Lightning Crew tonight at AngleMania VI! And let's not forget, Lindsay is from Toronto, so she's going to do it in front of her hometown fans! This is going to be great! I've been waiting for this all week!

 

COLE

Ashley Street has held the Women's Title for over 365 days, making her the longest reigning Women's Champion in OAOAST history. Will her historic Title reign come to an end tonight at the biggest show of the year? Will the Latina Bitch ascend to the top of the OAOAST Women's Division and win the Women's Title for the first time in her career?

 

COACH

Yes and yes. A big night for The Lightning Crew and a big night for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! Come on Lindsay! Do it for The LC! Do it for your future husband! But most importantly, do it for me!

 

COLE

She doesn't even know you're alive!

 

COACH

She will Cole. She will.

 

COLE

And on that creepy comment, let's go to the ring where Michael Buffer is standing by!

 

A deep, slow voiced man yells out, "LIGHTNING CREW!" alerting the crowd on who is coming out next. The crowd stands up and boos as the lights go down in the Toronto SkyDome and the opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts playing. Smoke fills the entryway, and then a lightning bolt hits the entrance.

 

*No chance (No chance)

That's what ya got! (Ha. Ha. Yeah.)

 

We're up against

no machine too strong (Too strong)

 

Pussy politicians buying souls for us

are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)*

 

"No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing over the P.A. system. Pink spotlights converge around the stadium. A ring cart brings out Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Princess Stacey to a mixed reaction. Lindsay smirks at the crowd while Princess Stacey applauds her. Lindsay outstretches her arms with an evil smile on her face. She makes the “I-Want-The-Belt” hand gesture.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute time limit, and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Championship! Introducing first, the challenger. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by Princess Stacey. From San Juan, Puerto Rico by way of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (CHEAP POP~!) Weighing in at 120 lbs. She is the 1st Lady of The Lightning Crew. MISS LINDSAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GONNNZZZZZAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

 

Lindsay and Princess Stacey laugh at all the women in the audience as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing.

 

COLE

Lindsay Gonzalez was born here in Toronto, and it looks like the crowd is pleased as punch to find out about that!

 

COACH

Of course they are! I mean, look at her! More proof that Canadian girls are hot!

 

COLE

Her hotness isn't going to help her tonight. Lindsay is going to have to rely on her wrestling skills if she wants to beat Ashley Street and become Women's Champion tonight at AngleMania VI.

 

COACH

And Lindsay has more wrestling skill in her pinky then Ashley Street has in her entire sexy body! This is Lindsay's night tonight, Cole! I can feel it! I'd also like to feel her, and Princess Stacey too while I'm at it.

 

COLE

Ewwww. Coach, stop while you're ahead!

 

The ring cart stops at ringside. A ringside attendant unhooks the front of the cart so that Lindsay and Princess Stacey can leave it. The two women of The Lightning Crew walk up the ring steps. Princess Stacey and Lindsay wipe their feet on the ring apron, and then Princess Stacey holds the ropes for Lindsay to enter the ring and then enters the ring herself.

 

COLE

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is making her AngleMania debut. She has been Tha Puerto Rican's manager at AngleMania II and AngleMania III, but has never been in in-ring competition before. So, this is a HUGE opportunity for Gonzalez, as she hopes to win the Women's Title on the grandest stage of them all!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez walks around the ring with her arms outstretched. She poses in the center of the ring along with Princess Stacey. Together, the two girls do The Lightning Crew Salute as confetti drops from the rafters, as does a giant Puerto Rican flag. The crowd responds with a mixture of boos and cheers. Lindsay taunts the crowd. She dances a bit to “No Chance In Hell”.

 

COACH

What an entrance! An entrance worthy of a Women's Champion!

 

COLE

Well, we'll see if that'll happen in just a few moments Coach.

 

COACH

Look at her dance. Shake your ass, girl! This is your night!

 

The lights go back on in the SkyDome. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez bounces off the ropes to prepare for her match. She high fives Princess Stacey. They chat it up as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of her opponent's entrance. Lindsay removes her sunglasses and hoop earrings. Wearing a pink Lightning Crew T-shirt that is tied up, pink short shorts, black elbow pads, pink wrist tape, pink knee pads, and black boots with a gold chain around her neck, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is ready for battle.

 

COLE

This will be a good one, folks! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez looking for her first Women's Championship reign! While Ashley Street is hoping to keep her historic title reign going for another day! It's going to happen right now here at AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone!

 

"ANY WAY YOU WANT IT!

THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT!

ANY WAY YOU WANT IT!"

 

“Any Way You Want It” by Rise Against starts playing, causing the crowd to cheer! A ring cart comes out through the curtains bringing out Ashley Street herself. Street looks right at Lindsay as she is taken to the ring in the cart. Street raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her head.

 

BUFFER

And her opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From Evansville, Indiana. Weighing in at 159 lbs. She is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Champion...ASHLEYYYYYYYYYY STRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

 

Street points a menacing finger at Lindsay as she is taken to the ring.

 

COLE

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez won the right to face Ashley Street by defeating Confusia on the February 26th edition of OAOAST Syndicated. Since then, the two women have been scouting each other out, and nearly got into it last Thursday on HeldDOWN~! Ashley also has a pinfall victory over Lindsay in a tag team match two weeks ago!

 

COACH

Yeah, that's all true, but none of that really matters! The pinfall lost did nothing to psych Lindsay out, it just made her more determined to beat Ashley tonight at AngleMania! And that's exactly what's going to happen!

 

COLE

Careful Coach. Ashley isn't some no-talent hussy! She's been Women's Champion since February 21, 2006 for a reason!

 

COACH

I could think of another reason...

 

COLE

Don't start! Don't you dare start!

 

The ring cart stops at ringside. A ringside attendant unhooks the front of the cart for Ashley to exit. Ashley Street walks up the ring steps and enters the ring. She immediately makes a dash for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, causing Princess Stacey to leave the ring.

 

COLE

Ashley Street wants Lindsay Gonzalez right now! But she's being back by...oh no. Oh no! Oh God no!

 

COACH

What? What is it?

 

COLE

Coach...look at who the referee is!

 

The referee? None other than The Lightning Crew's very own THOMAS RODRIGUEZ!

 

COLE

It's Thomas Rodriguez! He's the assigned referee for this match!? Him!?!?

 

COACH

Yeah. So what?

 

COLE

So what!? Coach, he's in The Lightning Crew! And a Lightning Crew member is in this match! AND that Lightning Crew member is Tha Puerto Rican's fiancée!

 

COACH

So? This is great! Now all The Lightning Crew members are at AngleMania!

 

COLE

Who set this up? Was it a certain four-eyed blond hair OAOAST Corporate member? Huh? Was it him?

 

COACH

I know what you're getting at, and it's not true! Popick had nothing to do with this!

 

COLE

Oh I don't know.

 

COACH

Thomas is going to call this match right down the middle. Trust me. He will.

 

COLE

Well, we'll see. But somehow I doubt that!

 

Thomas continues holding Ashley back. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez taunts Ashley from behind Thomas' back. Lindsay laughs manically. Ashley says a few threatening words to Lindsay, and then raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her head again as “Any Way You Want It” continues playing. Ashley then goes back towards Lindsay, but Thomas holds her back once again. Lindsay stands at a turnbuckle and smiles evilly.

 

COLE

The longest reigning Women's Champion in OAOAST history is about to make her AngleMania debut, believe it or not. And she's doing it in front of over 67,000 fans in the Toronto SkyDome! This might be the biggest match in Ashley Street's career to date!

 

COACH

And she's going to choke on the biggest stage of them all!

 

Ashley points to her Women's Championship belt. Lindsay points at the belt too and says, “It's going to be mine!” Street raises the belt one more time to cheers from the fans while yelling at Lindsay that she's “GOING DOWN!”, and then hands the belt over to Thomas Rodriguez. Thomas raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over his head to let the crowd know that this is a title match, and then hands the belt over to a ringside attendant. Thomas then pats down Ashley, massaging her leg in the process. Ashley pulls herself away from Thomas when he does this.

 

COLE

Hey now!

 

COACH

What? Can a brotha cop a feel?

 

COLE

He's a referee! That's not supposed to be his job!

 

COACH

Oh hush up! Like you wouldn't do that if you had the chance! That's the closest you'd ever get to a beautiful woman!

 

Thomas nods his head and says, “Okay. Okay.” He then decides that the match is ready to start and calls for the bell as “Any Way You Want It” by Rise Against dies down.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

Thomas didn't check Lindsay.

 

COACH

He didn't need to. Lindsay's clean as a whistle!

 

COLE

Somehow I doubt that.

 

COACH

How dare you besmirched her name!?

 

Princess Stacey applauds Lindsay and shouts, “COME ON LINDSAY! LET'S GO LINDSAY!” Ashley Street and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez look at each other...and then lock up. Both women jockey for position.

 

COLE

We've got a stalemate to start things off.

 

But the stalemate doesn't last for long as Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez goes behind Ashley Street...and slaps her in the back of her head! She then does it again! And a few more times!

 

COACH

Ooh! Lindsay's fighting dirty! I love it!

 

COLE

Lindsay Gonzalez, the #1 Contender, is trying to intimidate the Women's Champion!

 

COACH

And it's working! Look at Ashley! She's quivering with fear!

 

Actually Coach, it only pisses Ashley off. Street elbows Lindsay, knocking down the Latina Bitch! Ashley picks Lindsay up and starts nailing her with forearms to the face. Thomas Rodriguez can't help but wince for every shot. Street bounces off the ropes, and fires with a crossbody block, knocking Lindsay down! The Women's Champion gets on top of the challenger and starts punching her in the face with lefts and rights!

 

COACH

Stop this, Thomas! She's hurting Lindsay's beautiful face!

 

COLE

I somehow doubt Ashley cares about Lindsay's face! She wants to retain the Women's Title in her AngleMania debut!

 

The crowd cheers, although there are some boos scattered here and there. Ashley gets off of Lindsay and picks her up, taking her over to a turnbuckle corner. Street punches Lindsay in the face some more, with Lindsay desperately trying to block the shots. Ashley then switches to stomping a mudhole in Gonzalez!

 

THOMAS RODRIGUEZ

Come on now, break it up! 1! 2! 3! 4!

 

Ashley gives Thomas a dirty look. Thomas responds by pointing to his referee shirt.

 

COACH

That's right Ashley! You betta recognize!

 

COLE

Oh come on now!

 

COACH

What? Thomas has been a fair and balanced referee so far!

 

COLE

True, but we'll see how much longer he can last without doing something screwy!

 

Ashley sets Ms. Lindsay up against the turnbuckle.

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Ashley then grabs Lindsay by her hair and sets her up against the ropes.

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez clutches her ample chest in pain. She fans her chest, doing anything she can to stop the pain. Princess Stacey shouts words of encouragement from the outside.

 

PRINCESS STACEY

COME ON LINDSAY! COME ON!

 

Lindsay gets a desperation kick to Ashley's stomach. Lindsay forearms Ashley in the face a few times, staggering her. Lindsay then charges forward, going for a clothesline, but Ashley ducks the clothesline, grabs Lindsay from behind, and gives her a back suplex! Ashley goes for the cover!

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

COACH

See? A fair count! Nothing screwy about that!

 

Ashley looks at Thomas. She then gets up, picking Lindsay up by her hair. Suddenly, Lindsay strikes by clawing at Ashley's eyes with her fingernails! The crowd boos!

 

COLE

There! You see? You see!? Thomas saw that! He saw that with his own two eyes! And he didn't do anything about it!

 

COACH

Would you calm down, Cole? You're overreacting!

 

COLE

I'm not overreacting! I just expect a title match to be called right down the middle!

 

COACH

Thomas is doing a fine job by my account! Relax!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez now has a smirk on her face. She grabs Ashley Street and punches her in the face! Ashley punches back! Lindsay punches back! Ashley punches back! Lindsay! Ashley! Lindsay! Ashley! Lindsay hits Ashley in her right knee with a front dropkick, knocking the Women's Champ down!

 

COACH

Great move by Lindsay! Excellent move! Way to go Lindsay!

 

Lindsay gets right back up, receiving some cheers from her fellow Canadians. The 1st Lady of The Lightning Crew goes right to work on the right knee, grabbing it and tugging on it! Lindsay then grabs Ashley's right leg and falls down onto the mat, giving her leg a DDT!

 

COLE

Interesting move from Lindsay!

 

COACH

She's pulling out all the stops tonight, Michael Cole! She wants to win the Women's Title tonight at AngleMania VI, and nothing's going to stop her!

 

Lindsay covers Ashley.

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

LEFT SHOULDER UP!

 

COACH

Another fair count from Thomas!

 

COLE

I know, Coach. I know.

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gets up annoyed. She stomps on Ashley Street's right knee a few times, causing Ashley to yelp out in pain. Ashley crawls over to a turnbuckle corner, with Lindsay following right behind, an evil grin on her gorgeous face. Once Ashley starts using the ropes to pull herself back up, Lindsay Gonzalez grabs Ashley's right leg and puts it over the second rope. She then pulls back on the leg, causing further harm for Street!

 

COLE

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is targeting that right knee of Ashley Street!

 

COACH

She's showing the world that she's a fine wrestler, in addition to being a fine lady!

 

Lindsay continues pulling on the right leg, until Ashley pulls on Lindsay's hair! Lindsay lets go! Thomas scolds her for that.

 

COACH

Once again, fair referee! Ashley had no right to do that!

 

COLE

I understand Coach. I'm STILL a bit leery.

 

COACH

What more do you want!? God, are you hard to please!

 

Gonzalez goes right back to pulling on Ashley Street's right leg...until Ashley kicks her in the stomach, knocking her to the mat! Ashley gets both of her feet back on the mat, and as a result, bends down, thus giving Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez the perfect opportunity to rush forward and kick Ashley right in her stomach!

 

COACH

Oh! Ashley's stomach is going to be black and blue tomorrow! HA HA HA HA HA!

 

Ashley collapses to the mat. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez powerwalks over to Ashley Street and grabs her right leg. She turns Ashley over onto her stomach, grabs her right leg, lifts it up, and then slams it back down, hurting her right knee! Lindsay has an evil smile on her face.

 

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ

Come on! Get up!

 

Princess Stacey nods her head in approval of Ashley being in pain. Ashley is crawling around the ring, her right knee really hurting by now. So Lindsay continues bringing the pain by turning Ashley onto her stomach again, grabbing her right leg, and then bending down to apply a half-crab on the Women's Champion!

 

COACH

Ashley's going to submit! We're going to have a new Women's Champion!

 

COLE

Lindsay Gonzalez with a half-Boston Crab! A very solid move from the challenger!

 

COACH

Come on! Submit! Thomas, get ready to ring the bell! Ring the fuc--

 

COLE

Settle down, Coach.

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is laughing evilly. She pulls back on the leg, causing Ashley to scream. Thomas Rodriguez is in her face, asking if she quits.

 

COACH

She quit! She quit! I heard it! She quit!

 

COLE

No she didn't! Would you shut up for a second!

 

Lindsay yells, “It's OVAH~!” The crowd is hot. Some are booing, but some are cheering for the hometown girl to win. And because Lindsay is so hot.

 

LINDSAY

COME ON BRUTA! COME ON!

 

Finally, Ashley starts moving.

 

COACH

Uh-oh!

 

Street starts clawing her way closer and closer to the ring ropes. But Lindsay stops that by pulling back on Ashley's head using her hair!

 

COLE

Now come on! This isn't right! And surprise surprise! The referee ain't doing a damn thing about it!

 

Lindsay continues the illegal hair-pulling for a few more seconds before simply letting go, causing Ashley's head to hit the mat. Miss Puerto Rico gets back to her feet and sneers at her opponent. She then does a corkscrew legdrop onto Ashley's back! She goes for the cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE—TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

COACH

Oh damnit!

 

COLE

Ashley's taken some punishment so far in this match, but she won't give in just yet!

 

COACH

But she will, Mikey! SHE WILL!

 

Lindsay Gonzalez gets up and starts stomping on Ashley Street's right leg.

 

LINDSAY

COME ON BRUTA!

 

Lindsay grabs Ashley's right leg and slams it onto the mat! Ashley Street crawls around the ring, with Lindsay Gonzalez stomping her right leg every few seconds! Lindsay now has a cocky smirk on her face, while Princess Stacey nods her head with every stomp. Ashley Street once again uses the ring ropes to pull herself back up, but Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is on her like white on rice, grabbing Ashley and setting her up against the turnbuckle. Lindsay grabs Ashley's right leg and bends it, then places the bended leg up against the second ring rope. Lindsay then climbs the bottom ring rope, and uses it to launch herself up in the air a few feet so that she can kick Ashley's bended right leg, knocking her down!

 

COLE

Oh my~! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez with a BRUTAL jumping stomp to the back of Ashley Street's right leg!

 

COACH

She got the knee again! ASS-LEY's right leg is hanging by a thread at this point! This is great! I am enjoying this!

 

COLE

You're not the only one, Coach. Princess Stacey seems to be loving this. And I'm sure deep down inside, Thomas Rodriguez is enjoying this too!

 

Ashley Street holds her right knee in pain. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stops to pose. The crowd responds with a mixture of boos and cheers for the Queen of The Lightning Crew. Princess Stacey applauds her friend and confidant.

 

COLE

A mixed reaction for the 1st Lady of The Lightning Crew!

 

COACH

These fans can feel it! We are all just a few moments away from the crowning of a new Women's Champion at AngleMania VI! Just a few moments away!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez laughs evilly.

 

COACH

Ah, Lindsay. How would you like to wake up to that smile every morning?

 

COLE

I'll think I'll pass.

 

COACH

Ahomosayswhat?

 

COLE

What?

 

COACH

Nothing.

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez goes back to work on Ashley's right knee, grabbing her right leg and applying a leg-bar on it.

 

COLE

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez torquing that right knee, trying to do further damage on that right knee!

 

Gonzalez turns the leg-bar into a cover. It gets two. Lindsay goes back to the leg-bar, but Ashley kicks her in the face to break it up! Lindsay didn't like that one bit. Lindsay picks Ashley Street up and punches her in the face! She punches her again! And again! And again! And again! The punches stun Street. Lindsay grabs Ashley's right arm and gives her an Irish whip into the ropes. Lindsay goes for a clothesline. Ashley ducks, bounces off the ropes, and fires with a jumping back elbow on Gonzalez!

 

COLE

Ashley Street with her first offensive move in quite a while! A running back elbow to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez on one leg!

 

COACH

Oh no! This isn't good! This isn't good AT ALL!

 

Ashley Street uses the ropes to pull herself back up, very slowly.

 

COLE

Ashley's in tremendous pain! Her right knee went through severe punishment tonight at AngleMania! But can she do it? Can she pull off the comeback and keep her Women's Title reign going for another day?

 

COACH

No she can't! No she won't! No! No! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is quick to get up, due to her being on offense for most of the match. She grabs Ashley Street by her hair, and again, Thomas does nothing about it. Lindsay taunts her opponent and the woman she must beat to become Women's Champion for the first time in her career. HOWEVER, Ashley responds by punching Lindsay square in the face! Lindsay is stunned, but goes for another punch. BLOCKED! Punch from Ashley! Lindsay is stunned again. She goes for another punch. BLOCKED AGAIN! Punch from Ashley! Punch from Ashley! Punch from Ashley! Forearm shots from Ashley send Lindsay Gonzalez into the ropes. Ashley Street whips Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez into the opposite ropes, and then follows with a clothesline! Lindsay gets right back up. Another clothesline! Ashley Street picks Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez up and gives her an Irish whip into the ropes. She follows with a BAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop! Street goes for the cover!

 

ONE! TWO! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

 

COLE

That was a bit of a slow count, wasn't it?

 

COACH

You're looking too much into things, Cole.

 

Ashley stands up, and then walks with a limp over to Lindsay, where she picks her up by her hair.

 

COACH

Hey now! She can't do that!

 

COLE

Lindsay did it just a few minutes ago!

 

COACH

No, Lindsay pulled back Ashley's head. What Ashley is doing is BLANTANT hairpulling!

 

Thomas scolds Ashley for the hairpulling unlike before. Still, Ashley whips Lindsay into a turnbuckle corner. Ashley charges forward, going for a Stinger Splash---

 

 

But Lindsay kicks Ashley in her stomach knocking her down!

 

COACH

Yes!

 

Ms. Lindsay chuckles at what she just did. She exits the ring and climbs to the top rope.

 

COACH

Oh boy! Lindsay is going to fly!

 

COLE

Ashley took a chance and it didn't pay off there. And now Lindsay's going to take a chance! Will it pay off?

 

Lindsay is hunched over on the top rope. Her hair is all out of place, so Lindsay has to blow some hair out of her eyes. Ashley is starting to get up.

 

COLE

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is up top!

 

COACH

Look out below!

 

HOWEVER, Ashley Street rushes over, and flips upside down, so that her legs are locked around Lindsay's head!

 

COACH

Oh no!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez shakes her head, caught in a handstand rana! But luckily for Lindsay, she escapes, grabs Ashley's right leg, and then jumps over the top rope and onto the floor, dropping Ashley Street onto the mat!

 

“OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

 

COACH

Yes! Yes! Yes! That a-girl, Lindsay! That a-girl! You teach that skank how you run things! You are in control and you know it girl! BOO-YES~!

 

COLE

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez with that innovative maneuver at AngleMania VI!

 

COACH

It's going to happen, Cole! It's going to happen! A new Women's Champion is almost here!

 

Princess Stacey lets out a “WOOOOOOOOOOOO!” after Lindsay's move. Thomas tries to hide his smile. A lot of the crowd is now cheering for Lindsay. Ashley Street is holding her right knee in the ring.

 

COLE

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez countered Ashley Street's handstand rana! And the end maybe near for Ashley Street and her Women's Title reign!

 

COACH

I just said that!

 

COLE

But I said it better!

 

Lindsay has an evil smile on her face as she looks at Ashley from the outside. She mouths, “I've got you now!” Lindsay slides underneath the bottom rope into the ring and then covers Ashley Street, hooking her right leg.

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 ½

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3-

 

KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

COLE

No! That wasn't it! That was only 2!

 

Thomas can't help but say, “Damnit!” after the two count.

 

COACH

It's okay. She was barely able to kick out! You're almost there Lindsay! You're almost there!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is PISSED~! She does the McMahon SNEER~! to show how much she's pissed. Gonzalez stomps Ashley's right leg, and then grabs it, going for another Boston Crab. BUT THEN, Ashley grabs her and cradles her!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

COLE

The inside cradle got a nearfall!

 

COACH

Oh thank God!

 

Ashley grimaces in pain as she starts to get up. Lindsay is up first, and she drags Ashley Street up by her hair. Lindsay gives Ashley an Irish whip into the ropes. Gonzalez hops up, grabs Ashley with her legs, and goes for the Lindsay-Carana! NO! Ashley holds on, spinning Lindsay around, and dropping her with a sit-out powerbomb!

 

COLE

Sit-out powerbomb!

 

COACH

AAAHHH!

 

COLE

Lindsay is down! High impact!

 

COACH

Kick out! Kick out! Kick out!

 

COLE

The Women's Champion with the cover!

 

Princess Stacey is shaking her head. Thomas hesitates before he makes the count.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

COACH

Yes!

 

COLE

And the challenger is still in this match!

 

Princess Stacey breathes a sigh of relief, while Thomas Rodriguez pumps his right fist. Ashley gets on top of Lindsay and starts hammering her with lefts and rights! Street gets up, stopping to hold her right knee. She then limps on over to the ropes and eyes Lindsay, who is starting to get up. The crowd comes alive.

 

COLE

She could be going for it! Ashley Street is looking to finish this match!

 

COACH

Oh God! Thomas do something!

 

COLE

What do you mean Thomas do something!?

 

Ashley bends down, getting angry. She motions for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez to get up.

 

COLE

It might be time for the Shining I Hate Your Face!

 

COACH

Oh no!

 

Suddenly, Princess Stacey runs over and grabs Ashley's right leg! This gets her attention, and, let's just say Ashley ain't too pleased about this little development!

 

COACH

AAAH! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!

 

Ashley grabs Princess Stacey by her hair and lifts her up onto the ring apron!

 

COLE

The Princess might be in trouble here!

 

Ashley screams at The Princess, as Stacey screams for her life! The crowd is cheering loudly!

 

COACH

Unhand her, you wench! You can't touch her you PEASANT!

 

COLE

I don't think Ashley gives a damn about Stacey's 'royalty'. She's just annoyed with her like a lot of people are!

 

COACH

HOW DARE SHE!

 

Ashley is about to punch Stacey...when Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez attacks Street from behind! Ashley lets go of Stacey, causing her to awkwardly fall back to the floor. Meanwhile, Lindsay Gonzalez pummels Ashley from behind. She then picks Ashley Street up by her hair and then gives her an Irish whip into the ropes—Ashley reverses—kicks Lindsay in her stomach, grabs her in a facelock, puts Lindsay's right arm over her head, grabs her pink short shorts, and then lifts her up, going for a vertical suplex.

 

But at the same time she does this, Princess Stacey grabs a hold of Ashley Street's right leg! This causes Ashley to lose her balance, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez to fall on top of her, with Thomas Rodriguez watching the whole thing right before his very eyes!

 

COLE

Hey! Wait a minute!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is now covering Ashley Street! Ashley struggles to kick out but can't because Princess Stacey is still holding onto her right leg! Thomas Rodriguez still makes the count with the crowd buzzing in anticipation!

 

COLE

Princess Stacey has her leg! Ashley can't escape!

 

1!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING* (8:48)

 

“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”/”BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

We've got a new Women's Champion!

 

COACH

Yes! Yes! Yes! Way to go Lindsay!

 

Princess Stacey quickly lets go of the leg once the 3 count is made. She jumps up and down in celebration over Lindsay's victory. Lindsay pumps her fists in victory. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing.

 

COLE

The 1st Lady of The Lightning Crew has won the title!

 

COACH

Oh baby! The night is off to a good start!

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner...and NEWWWWW One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Champion...MISS LINDSAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GONNNZZZZZAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

 

Thomas Rodriguez grabs the OAOAST Women's Championship belt from the timekeeper, and can't help but smile as he hands the belt over to Lindsay. Gonzalez has tears in her eyes as she accepts the belt from Thomas. Lindsay looks at the belt and smiles a wide, EVIL~!, smile!

 

COLE

The hometown girl, in front of 67,000 of her fellow Torontoians, has won the Women's Title for the first time in her career, even if it is under controversial circumstances!

 

COACH

What are you talking about controversial? The referee's decision is FINAL! We've got a NEW Women's Champion! A Women's Champion we can all be proud of!

 

COLE

I'm talking about Stacey holding onto Ashley Street's leg while the count was being made, even though Thomas Rodriguez saw EVERYTHING!

 

COACH

Oh stop your complaining! The important thing is that Thomas made the count, Ashley has been dethroned, and we've got a new SEXY Women's Champion!

 

Lindsay takes off her scrunchee to let her hair down. She raises her newly won OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her head, garnering a mixed reaction. Lindsay parades around the ring with the belt with a cocky smirk on her face while Ashley Street lies on the mat, holding her right knee.

 

COACH

And look at this! This crowd loves it! Toronto is Lightning Crew country!

 

COLE

What a dream come true this must be for Lindsay! She has done it! She has won the Women's Title for the first time in her career in her hometown at the biggest show of the year!

 

COACH

I know! Isn't it great!? The Lightning Crew has picked up their first victory tonight! Only three more to go!

 

Thomas Rodriguez raises Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez's hands in victory as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. Lindsay is a little choked up, so she dries her eyes. She smiles as she raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her head once again. Princess Stacey applauds Lindsay from the outside. Lindsay stands over Ashley and raises the belt with her right hand, laughing manically while doing so.

 

COLE

The 14-month long Title reign of Ashley Street is over! At AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has ascended to the top of the OAOAST Women's Division! She is now YOUR Women's Champion! The Lightning Crew scores big tonight, getting the Women's Title!

 

COACH

And it's only the beginning, Mikey Cole! Tonight is The Lightning Crew's night at AngleMania VI! They've already got the Women's Title. And later on tonight, they're going to get a World Title shot AND the X-Division Championship! PLUS, they will end the careers of not one but TWO OAOAST Originals! This is a night The Lightning Crew will never EVERRRRRR FORGET!

 

COLE

A big night ahead for The LC. They've won their first match tonight. Will Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, and Caboose be able to defeat two OAOAST legends in Caboose and Some Guy, even in a 3-On-2 Handicap Match? Will Cuban Wall win the Money In The Bank Battle Royal and gain a guaranteed shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? And will the leader of The Lightning Crew, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican be able to defeat Dance Dance Dragon and become X-Division Champion for the first time in his career? We'll find out later tonight at AngleMania VI in front of 67,000+ fans in the Toronto SkyDome!

 

Thomas Rodriguez applauds Lindsay, and then holds the ropes for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez to leave the ring.

 

COLE

Oh please.

 

COACH

What? He's just acting like a gentleman, you cad!

 

Lindsay gets onto the ring cart. Princess Stacey follows her. The ring cart takes Lindsay and Stacey back to the entrance. Lindsay raises her newly won title over her head while Princess Stacey applauds her with a beaming smile on her face. The crowd responds with boos and cheers.

 

COLE

Lindsay targeted that right knee. She exploited it, and in the end, with a little help from Princess Stacey, the knee led to Ashley Street's downfall! Lindsay has captured the title in her AngleMania in-ring debut!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her head one more time with an evil smile on her face. Princess Stacey applauds her friend and laughs manically. Ashley Street is now starting to get up in the ring, crushed that her record breaking Women's Title reign has come to an end, not to mention feeling tremendous pain in her right knee. Thomas Rodriguez is applauding Lindsay in the ring. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Princess Stacey smiling evilly in the ring cart while “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds fades out.

 

COLE

Backstage, Tony Schiavone is with the Sooner Bruisers.

 

We cut to the dressing room of the Bruisers. Uber sporting a home OU football jersey while Big Frank models a road #69 OU basketball jersey to show off the 25“ anacondas.

 

SCHIAVONE

Thank you, Stuart. Big Frank, Uber, your reaction to the comments made by Logan Mann.

 

BIG FRANK

Looks can be deceiving and right now Logan Mann is deceiving the world by pretending he has a set of gonads instead of ovaries. He and Synth are scared to death of us. Why do you think they wanted to settle the score in a street fight? They can’t beat us in the ring. And they’re gonna find out they can’t beat us in the street either. But while listening to their whining, I couldn’t help but notice that fine piece of ass Holly-Wood was nowhere in sight. Well, baby girl, wherever you’re at, just know it’s never too late to ask me to install my disc into your hard drive. Toss Logan Mann aside, because the Man of Tomorrow is your upgrade, download if ya hear me.

 

The Superfreak poses as Uber HOWLS to the sky to end the interview.

Edited April 2, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

* DING * DING * DING *

 

BUFFER

Wrestling fans, our next contest is the SIN CITY STREET FIGHT! No count outs, no disqualifications. The only rules are…there are no rules! And remember, ladies and gentlemen, the losing team must LEAVE town for 90 DAYS! Now let’s meet the brave and fearless men about to enter the fight of their lives.

 

The fans let the Sooner Bruisers have it the second “Frankenstein” hits, and the Bruisers return the favor from the motorized cart driving them to the ring, cussing and gesturing back. Big Frank making it a priority to grab his crotch at every opportunity.

 

BUFFER

First, All-American standouts from the University of Oklahoma and the former heavyweight tag team champions of the world, BIG FRANK and UBER BRUISER…THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUUUISERS!!

 

COLE

The Sooner Bruisers and Heavenly Rockers about to settle the score once and for all. This fight, which I suspect won’t last very long due to the violent nature of it, over a year in the making, dating back to February of last year when the Heavenly Rockers defeated the Sooner Bruisers at Zero Hour in the 2006 Anderson Cup finals. At the conclusion of the match the Bruisers snapped and attacked Synth and Logan, even Holly-Wood wasn’t spared their wrath.

 

COACH

And why did the Sooner Bruisers snap, Mikey, or are you trying to hide the truth?

 

COLE

No, I…

 

COACH

Let me refresh the fans memories. The Sooner Bruisers had that match won. Frank had just hit the 69 Driver when Logan decided to fake a neck injury to buy himself time. Special referee Arn Anderson, a man whose career ended because of a real neck injury, wouldn’t allow Frank to make the cover out of compassion for Logan Mann. Big Frank was just as compassionate until Logan rolled him up for the 1-2-3. The Bruisers had every reason to do what they did. Everything they worked long and hard for was in reach, a shot at the OAOAST World tag team championship at AngleMania, and the Heavenly Rockers stole it right out from under them.

 

The Bruisers finally reach their destination ringside. Big Frank not so subtle in letting the female ring attendants who unstrap the motorized cart’s ropes know a threesome is just a walk backstage.

 

BUFFER

And their opponent’s in the Sin City street fight! Accompanied by HOLLY-WOOD! Hailing from Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada, total combined weight 462 pounds... the GREATEST Rock 'n' Wrestling band of AAAAALLLL time... THE HHHEEEEEAAAAAAVVVEEEEEEEENNLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!!

 

:headbang:

 

Expecting the Heavenly Rockers to appear onstage, the Sooner Bruisers are caught napping as Synth and Logan enter through the crowd wielding a TRASH CAN and WOODEN 2x4, respectively.

 

* CR-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RACK *

 

Logan breaks the board across the back of Big Frank and jabs the remains, a spear-like object, into the forehead of the Superfreak! Before Uber has any time to react Synth bashes him upside the head with the trash can, and then paint-brushes him with the lid! Logan rips the trash can lid out of his partner’s hand and, as his wife Holly watches on ringside, clobbers Big Frank who is now bleeding profusely.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

The Sin City street fight has claimed its first casualty and it’s Big Frank of the Sooner Bruisers, Coach.

 

COACH

Yeah, after he got jump from behind.

 

COLE

Which is perfectly legal in this type of match. Anything goes.

 

COACH

I sure hope you remember that later on. I don’t want to hear you damning the Sooner Bruisers to hell when the roles are reversed.

 

Logan mounts on top of Frank and unloads, blowing on his fist before every blow as if to say this one’s for Synth, this one’s for Holly and most of all this one’s for me. While Logan proceeds to CHOKE Big Frank, a LOW BLOW stops the Synthmeister in his track as he and Uber traded blows in the corner. Synth discarded by Uber, who clubs Logan from behind and shoots him off into the ropes, annihilating the lead vocalist of the Heavenly Rockers with a vicious double forearm thrust to the throat!

 

UBER

(howling)

Ow, ow, ow, ow, owwwwwwwww!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Uber unbuckles his BELT and gets a few licks in before Big Frank SHOVES him aside. Dissention in the ranks? No, the Man of Tomorrow wants to do it himself. He removes his WEIGHT-LIFTING BELT and lashes away!

 

COLE

He’s a human being, damn it!

 

Holly can’t bear to stand the punishment her husband is receiving, shielding her eyes as Big Frank puts the badmouth on her and Logan. Hovering over Logan, arms raised in triumph, Frank sits down and locks on the LAY-Z-BOY, using the weight-lifting belt to choke Mann into submission!

 

“LO-GAN!”

“LO-GAN!”

“LO-GAN!”

 

SYNTH (Off-screen)

(singing)

Don’t stop believing…

 

COACH

Did he just…?

 

COLE

Well, it’s been a long journey.

 

COACH

Now that was pretty lame.

 

The impromptu concert distracts everyone long enough for Synth to fire a MISSLE DROPKICK into the chest of Big Frank. Microphone still in hand, the Synthmeister ducks an Uber Bruiser Soonerline and boinks him on the noggin, then kicks him low and snaps him over with a swinging neck breaker!

 

First cover of the match!

 

COACH

Look at him trying to end it already. He knows his team doesn’t stand a chance.

 

COLE

You still have to pin your opponent to win, Coach.

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

SAVE BY BIG FRANK!

 

The Man of Tomorrow dropping both forearms across the shoulder blades to breakup the pin. He rolls outside and pulls a TABLE out from under the ring.

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Frank sets the table, but Holly is there to jump on his back, clawing at his eyes. Despite his best efforts Big Frank can’t shake the Angel of Death loose, so he snatches Holly by the neck and yanks her over the top in a comprising position. It’s all fun and games until the fans realize what Frank’s intents are, which is to TOMBSTONE HOLLY THROUGH THE TABLE.

 

COLE

Don’t do it, Frank. No!

 

COACH

Give it to her and give it to her good!

 

The crowd sighs in relief and some in disappoint as Logan rescues Holly. He and Frank exchange haymakers until Uber waist locks him from the rear and delivers a BACKDROP DRIVER ONTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!

 

COLE

Logan may be dead!

 

The cover!

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THREE-- NO!

 

FOOT ON THE ROPE!

 

COLE

Possibly concussed, Logan still with enough presence of mind to place the foot on the ropes. Amazing!

 

Forgotten about in the corner, Synth wraps Uber’s belt around his wrists and clotheslines both Bruisers. Again and again. With her biggest nemesis nearby Holly sees this as her chance to extract revenge, climbing onto the apron to give Frank a LOW BLOW as Synth charges toward him with the belt around his wrists outstretched…but the Superfreak falls to his knees in testicular agony, causing Synth to bump into Holly who slips off the apron and CRASHES THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

“HOLY SHIT!”

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

Synth immediately rushes to Holly’s aid, as does the referee. Meanwhile, Uber has Logan pinned for at least a 5 count.

 

COACH

Nick Patrick, get in the ring! 10, 11, 12, 13... It’s gotta be a twenty count by now. The Heavenly Rockers keep finding ways to screw over the Sooner Bruisers. First Zero Hour, now AngleMania. If you think the Sooner Bruisers are pissed now, imagine them after this.

 

COLE

No, thank you.

 

OAOAST agents Terry Taylor and Rick Martel lead EMTs ringside to assist Holly. The Sooner Bruisers lend a helping hand themselves, busting Synth wide open with the TIMEKEEPER’S TABLE driven smack in his face! They throw Synth back inside only to drape Frank’s weight-lifting belt around his neck and HANG him over the top rope! Big Frank picks up the RING BELL and…

 

* DING *

 

…hurls it into the midsection of the Synthmeister. As Uber goes to grab a STEEL CHAIR, Frank covers Synth’s face with his own Las Vegas Outlaws jersey, setting the stage for a gigantic…

 

* THUD *

 

…CHAIRSHOT!

 

COLE

It--It’s starting to get out of control now. Logan’s out, Holly’s out, Synth may have just broken his ribs… I know it’s a street fight, but the referee should seriously begin to consider calling the match.

 

COACH

The Heavenly Rockers billed it as the war to end all wars. And they’re getting slaughtered. Beautiful.

 

Having left their mark on Synth, Big Frank and Uber turn their sights on Logan Mann. Logan struggles to his feet as Holly is whisked away by EMTs. Mann unaware of his wife’s accident. The Bruisers toy with Logan, bullying him from brother to brother. Suddenly, Logan lands a back elbow and a WICKED LEFT HOOK~ out of nowhere, albeit glancing blows, drawing the fans out of their seats, but the Bruisers quickly regain control, tackling Logan to the mat and pound him senseless.

 

“LET’S GO LOGAN!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

The sold out crowd of 65-plus thousand strong rally behind their Mann, the recipient of a 2-on-1 assault. Logan is sent in for the ride and taken around the world in a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! Big Frank scooping him right up for a TIGER BOMB! Now it’s time for Uber to get him some, slamming Logan off the ropes with a great deal of power and hooks the leg for the cover!

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

KICKOUT!

 

“LET’S GO LOGAN!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

“LET’S GO LOGAN!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

The chant starts up again and stronger than previously. The fans can sense there’s still a lot of fight left in Logan Usher Mann, who is lifted in a body vice as Big Frank comes off the top with a big elbow down across the sternum!

 

COACH

That’ll do it. Guaranteed.

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THR-- NO!!

 

“LO-GAN!”

“LO-GAN!”

“LO-GAN!”

 

The crowd is really starting to get into now. Big Frank signals it’s time to end it. He hoists Logan on his shoulders as Uber scales the buckles.

 

* BOOM *

 

Frank goes down like a ton of bricks courtesy of a CHAIRSHOT from SYNTH! Having apparently untied himself from the ropes, the Synthmeister pokes the chair in Uber’s gut and cracks him across the shoulder, sending him tumbling back in. With anger never before expressed by Synth, his face a bloody mess, he cocks the chair and measures Big Frank, drilling him square in the forehead! Synth raises the blood stained chair for all to view, and then plays air guitar!

 

SYNTH

 

He quickly stops after become woozy, and nearly gets decapitated from behind by an Uber Bruiser Soonerline. The Psycho Gremlin stops on Synth’s head for some fun and to allow Frank time to recoup. He brings Synth to his feet as the Man of Tomorrow returns to his, lunging forward…and butts head with baby brother as Synth ducks! Then Logan joins Synth in a DOUBLE SYNCHRONIZED DROPKICK on Uber, wiping him outside. Double TWIRLING FINGER OF DEATH~!

 

“YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Here it comes. Double Percussion!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

The crowd reacts as the baddest hombres in all of Latin America, LOS CONQUISTADORS, storm the ring, BARBED WIRE COAL MINER’S GLOVES in hand, and beat down the already worn down Heavenly Rockers!

 

COLE

What are they doing here? I heard the rumors of The Enterprise loaning out Los Conquistadors to the Sooner Bruisers in return for them battling Chicks Over Dicks a few weeks ago, but I thought all that was innuendo.

 

Logan Mann takes a shot to the face and begins gushing blood. Synth’s already bleeding, but the pain of having barbed wire prodded into an open wound is a bitch!

 

“YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

MELODY NERDLY leads the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS to the ring to help even the odds. Jock and Baron hook ‘em up with both the Conquistadors and Sooner Bruisers, but their efforts mostly surround in eliminating Uno and Dos from the equation, which they accomplish with right hands, bionic elbows and flying lariats.

 

COLE

Yee-haw! Ride ‘em, cowboys!

 

COACH

I’d rather a cowgirl, but to each his own. Whatever your preference, you gotta admit this is bogus. The Gunslingers shouldn’t even be out here.

 

COLE

Likewise for Los Conquistadors.

 

COACH

…

 

COLE

Coach?

 

COACH

Shut up!

 

Big Frank spots Melody with her back turned to the ring, riling up the crowd in her Daisy Duke shorts, and goes after her…but she came prepared, throwing a wad of DUST in the Superfreak’s eyes!

 

COLE

You go, girlfriend!

 

COACH

What is this, everybody gets their revenge on the Sooner Bruisers night?

 

Left in a cloud of dust, Big Frank stumbles back towards the center of the ring and right into the arms of Logan Mann, who twirls the FINGER OF DEATH~!…PERCUSSION DDT!!!

 

Only Uber stands in the way of a 3 count, but Synth brings him down in a BULLDOG!

 

Double pin falls!

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THREE!!!

 

“YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the survivors in the Sin City street fight, the GREATEST Rock 'n' Wrestling band of AAAAALLLL time... THE HHHEEEEEAAAAAAVVVEEEEEEEENNLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!!

 

The crowd ERUPTS at the official announcement. Synth warmly embraces Logan, who just stands there, eyes glazed over as “Heart-Shaped Box“ blares in the background. Melody and the Lone Star Gunslingers joining the Heavenly Rockers in the ring, congratulating them on their win. Completely oblivious to his whereabouts, Logan grabs Melody and bends her back over his knee, giving her a big wet one thinking she‘s Holly!

 

MELODY

(fanning herself)

 

COACH

He just sexually assaulted Mel.

 

COLE

He did not. Logan is totally out of it, fans. The man got dropped right on his head, on the turnbuckle no less. Anything less than a grade 5 concussion will be a miracle.

 

Synth controls Logan and informs him of the news concerning Holly.

 

LOGAN

 

Synth pats him on the back and helps his buddy backstage.

[Tony149 0]

“LIGHTNING CREW!”

 

The crowd stands up and starts booing as the AngleTron lights up with an image of PRL smiling. The crowd boos even louder when his face is shown. The image of a smiling PRL changes to another image of PRL from 2003 raising the Puerto Rican Championship belt after a match. Image after image of PRL is shown, while a classical melody is being played. It is a slow and mellow song with someone whispering the word, “Chance” at several points during the song. The AngleTron shows PRL choked up. Follow by PRL being furious. It is then followed by PRL crying after winning the OAOAST North American Championship back in September 2003. Finally, the last image is PRL smiling again, except in a psychotic matter and his evil laugh is heard over the P.A. System. The classical music hits a crescendo, and the AngleTron switches to a waving Puerto Rican flag, and in big white blocky letters appears the words LIGHTNING CREW. And then a lightning bolt hits the entrance. The crowd boos loudly as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds begins playing. Strobe lights flicker on and off in the entrance.

 

*No chance (No chance!)

That’s what ya got! (Ha. Ha. Yeah!)

 

We’re up against

no machine too strong

Pussy politicians buying souls for us

Are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)

 

But will find their place

In line (Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)

 

But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz

Cuz it’s just a matter of time!

 

Cuz you’ve got…NO CHANCE! (You’ve got no chance!)

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Got no chance!)

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Chance!)

NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!*

 

As The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron, the ring cart drives through the curtains carrying Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug, along with Princess Stacey of The Lightning Crew. And ATTENTION EVERYBODY: Princess Stacey has a new tiara! I repeat: Princess Stacey has a NEW tiara! And a real nice one too. Real bling-bling and everything. Diamond encrusted too. The Princess is also wearing a blue blouse, a necklace with her name on it, diamond earrings, gold bracelets on her arms, tight black jeans, and black heel shoes. Her boyfriend is also dressed for AngleMania VI, wearing a black Lightning Crew T-shirt, and over that is a dark blue baseball jersey with VITAMIN X written on the front in big gray blocky letters, and a small AngleMania VI logo on the right. VX is written on the right sleeve. And on the back is written “LEGEND KILLER” in white blocky letters, with the OAOAST AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone logo in the center, and “2-FOR-1 SALE!” written underneath that also in big white blocky letters. And underneath that is SUNDAY APRIL 1, 2007. X is also wearing black sweatpants with a small OAOAST logo on the left pant leg, Reebok sneakers, and a gold chain around his neck. The four Lightning Crew members raise their hands in the air, taunting the booing crowd.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by Princess Stacey. At a total combined weight of 739 lbs. The team of Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug...THE LIGHTNNNIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGG CRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

 

COLE

Well this is certainly a unique match-up! 3-on-2 Handicap Match, as three members of The Lightning Crew take on two OAOAST Originals in Some Guy and Caboose! This should be a good one!

 

COACH

Awww yeah, Mikey Cole! The Lightning Crew is at AngleMania VI, yup yup! And together, they are going to beat the CRUMPETS out of Caboose and...uh...beat the hot dogs out of Some Guy?

 

COLE

Nice try, Coach.

 

*Come on!

Come on!

Come and get it! (Come and get it!)

Come on! (Come on!)

 

Come on!

Come on!

Come and get it! (Come and get it!)

Come on! (Come on!)

 

Come on!

Come on!

Come and get it! (Come and get it!)

Come on! (Come on!)

 

Come on!

Come on!

Come and get it!

 

No chance...(Yeah!)*

 

The ring cart stops at ringside. A ringside attendant unhooks the “ring ropes” and Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Princess Stacey step out and into ringside. The Bone Thug looks at the giant crowd and then simply walks up the ring steps. Vitamin X jaws with the fans at ringside and then climbs the ring steps himself. He hops onto a second turnbuckle, and crosses his arms into a X. VX sneers at the crowd. Mr. Boricua yells at the crowd, and then climbs the ring steps and climbs over the top rope and into the ring.

 

COACH

Hey! Hey look! Princess Stacey has a new tiara! All right! Finally! Her head was empty without it!

 

COLE

Funny, I thought her head was empty with it too!

 

COACH

Oh now come on! How dare you BESMIRCHED the good name of Princess Stacey!?

 

COLE

What good name!?

 

COACH

The good name of Princess Stacey! Come on! And you say that I'm an idiot! God!

 

The Bone Thug paces around the ring, still wearing his bandannas. Vitamin X hops into the ring. Princess Stacey applauds her boyfriend. X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. A spotlight shines on X, Stacey, Boricua, and Bone Thug. The four of them look at each other...and then put their arms in the shape of a L. The Lightning Crew Salute! The crowd boos louder. Pyro shoots out from all four ring posts.

 

COACH

Whoa! The Lightning Crew is ready for AngleMania! This is THEIR night!

 

COLE

This is indeed a big night for The Lightning Crew! We already have a new Women's Champion in Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Now, Vitamin X, Bone Thug, and Mr. Boricua are looking to give The Lightning Crew their second win at AngleMania VI by defeating two OAOAST legends!

 

COACH

This is a night that will be Etched In Stone! Not for Drek, but for The Lightning Crew!

 

The four Lightning Crew members look at the crowd with dirty looks on their faces. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle once again to warm himself up. Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua snorts, grunts, and yells at some fans. He then heads to a second turnbuckle and poses. The Bone Thug heads to another second turnbuckle and removes the Puerto Rican flag bandanna around his mouth so that he can yell at the fans and shout, “ARRIBA LA RAZA~!” Princess Stacey applauds The Lightning Crew.

 

COLE

Vitamin X, Prince Vitamin, or The X-Man, has made it so personal with Caboose! It's about to come to a crescendo in a heartbeat or two!

 

Vitamin X does another bad dance to “No Chance In Hell”. Mr. Boricua gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to the outside to yell at the fans. The Bone Thug also gets off the second turnbuckle and hands the Puerto Rican flag bandanna around his neck to a ringside attendant.

 

COLE

This is The Bone Thug and Mr. Boricua's AngleMania debut. Mr. Boricua was in the Preshow Sausage Fest Battle Royal last year at AngleMania V along with Cuban Wall which he lost. This is Vitamin X's second consecutive AngleMania appearance. He lost last year in the opening match to Colombian Heat, bringing an end to their bitter feud.

 

COACH

That is until Vitamin X took Princess Stacey away from Heat!

 

COLE

Right. Until Stacey Robertson betrayed Colombian Heat at the beginning of this year!

 

COACH

That's PRINCESS Stacey to you, Cole!

 

COLE

Ugh.

 

*NO CHANCE! (You've got no chance!)

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You've got...NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You've got...NO CHANCE! (Got no chance!)

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You've got...NO CHANCE! (Chance!)

 

NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

 

Yeah!*

 

“No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds ends. Vitamin X looks at the entrance with a serious expression on his face. The lights go back on in the arena. Mr. Boricua climbs back into the ring. Princess Stacey gives VX some last words of encouragement. The Bone Thug jumps up and down in place to psych himself up. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of the match coming up in just a few moments.

 

COLE

Three of these men have AngleMania experience!

 

COACH

And two of them are AngleMania rookies! Three if you count Princess Stacey!

 

COLE

This should be an exciting match! There's nothing like competing at AngleMania, especially in front of 67,000-plus fans!

 

“Cochise” by Audioslave begins playing, causing the crowd to EXPLODE~! Spotlights converge all over the stadium. Once the drums and bass kick in, a spotlight shines on Caboose, standing in the rafters. Caboose climbs over the railing, and descends straight down, drawing more cheers the closer and closer he gets to the crowd. Caboose lands at ringside, drawing a massive POP from the crowd. 'boose has a look of determination on his painted face. 'boose is in his classic ring attire of long black tights with UNFORGIVEN written down right leg in white, and a white Celtic symbol is emblazoned down the left leg. He removes the apparatus that made him descend from the rafters, and then points his cricket bat at Vitamin X who is in the ring.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

BUFFER

And their opponents. First, from Derby, England. Weighing in at 230 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the worrrrlllllddddddddddddddddd! This...is...CAAAAAABBBBOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Caboose continues pointing his cricket bat at Vitamin X. X responds with the McMahon SNEER~! and by telling Caboose to “bring it on”!

 

COLE

He's on the comeback! The legendary Caboose, at just 22-years-old is a two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and a former OAOAST World Tag Team Champion, while Vitamin X, at 24-years of age, has yet to win an OAOAST championship, a fact that must eat at Vitamin X everyday!

 

COACH

It hurts, but it also motivates him! Vitamin X is motivated by his past failures! And tonight, he will use that motivation to get the biggest win of his career! By beating not one, but TWO OAOAST Originals! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

 

COLE

Caboose will not have an easy match tonight! He maybe a legend, but it's still a 3-on-2 Handicap Match! And his partner is someone who hasn't wrestled since September 2005! This match might go either way, and we're about to find out as Caboose steps in the ring for, believe it or not, only his THIRD AngleMania match! He's a perfect 2-0 at AngleMania, having won the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles with D'Lo Brown at the first AngleMania, and then teaming up with Zack Malibu and Some Guy to defeat CWM, Tony Brannigan, and “The Ice Heart” Dan Black at AngleMania IV. Will he expand that record to 3-0 tonight?

 

COACH

N--

 

COLE

SAVE IT!

 

Caboose points his cricket bat to Vitamin X, then points to the rafters.

 

COLE

Huh? What's Caboose pointing to?

 

COACH

Don't look at me, Cole. You're the one who's all chummy, chummy with him!

 

COLE

Actually, he hit me with that bat just yesterday.

 

COACH

HA HA! Loser!

 

Caboose keeps pointing to the rafters until The Lightning Crew turns their attention to them. The crowd also tilts their heads to the rafters.

 

COLE

What is Caboose trying to tell us?

 

“Cochise” by Audioslave dies down.

 

CUE: “Sexy Boy”

 

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

*I think I'm cute

I KNOW I'm sexy!

I've got the looks

that drive all the girls wild!

 

I've got the moves

that really move them!

I'll send them chills

Up and down their spines

 

I'm just a sexy boy!

(SEXY BOOYYYYYY!)

I'm not your boy toy!

(BOY TOYYYYYYYY!)

I'm just a sexy boy!

(SEXY BOOYYYYY!)

I'm not your boy toy!

(BOY TOYYYYYYY!)*

 

Finally, the reason Caboose has been pointing at the rafters is revealed. Because high in the rafters is SOME GUY!

 

COLE

There he is! Some Guy is in the building!

 

Some Guy dances a bit for old times sake while “Sexy Boy” continues playing. He plays to the crowd, and then grabs a hold of a rope. The rope is revealed to be apart of a zip-line; a zip-line that takes Some Guy from the rafters down to ringside!

 

COLE

Whoa! Oh my! What an incredible entrance by Some Guy at AngleMania VI!

 

The crowd loves it! Some Guy has a wide smile on his face as he continues on his way down to the ringside area.

 

COLE

What a moment! From the top of the Toronto SkyDome all the way to the crowd! Some Guy is back in full force here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread!

 

Some Guy lands in the crowd. He removes the apparatus that brought him down to ringside, and then walks through the crowd, slapping hands with the fans along the way.

 

COACH

Ugh. Some Guy is with the unwashed masses!

 

COLE

Some Guy being greeted by the 67,000 fans in attendance! He is being literally showered with praise!

 

“Sexy Boy” has to restart because of how long it is taking Some Guy to walk to the ring, thanks to being mobbed by the fans. Still, through it all, SG has a smile on his face.

 

COLE

These fans have waited 18 long months to see Some Guy in an OAOAST ring again! And in just a few moments, the wait is over! In only his SECOND AngleMania appearance, Some Guy is ready to do battle with three of The Lightning Crew's best!

 

COACH

Some Guy and Caboose teamed up at AngleMania IV and won. HOWEVER, they had Zack Malibu with them also. Someone they don't have tonight! Thus, giving more of an advantage to The Lightning Crew members!

 

COLE

Yeah! But Some Guy and Caboose have that big-time match experience. Something neither Mr. Boricua nor The Bone Thug have. So, that may help them in their favor tonight!

 

BUFFER

And his partner! From Boston, Massachusetts. Weighing in at 245 lbs. He is an OAOAST Original! SOOMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

 

Some Guy finally climbs over the barricade into ringside. Clad in his classic attire of dark red, white, and navy blue singlet with the Red Sox logo on the abdomen, navy blue and white boots, white wrist tape, and dark red knee pads, SG slaps some more fan hands as he walks around ringside, keeping an eye out on The LC members in the ring. Some Guy meets up with Caboose. They start chatting it up. Princess Stacey takes this as a sign to leave the ring. Meanwhile, The Lightning Crew gets into their fighting stances.

 

COACH

Look at The Lightning Crew! They're ready!

 

COLE

They're ready! Some Guy and Caboose are ready! The fans are ready! WE'RE ready! Let's get this match started! 3 men vs. 2 in this Handicap Tag Team Match!

 

Some Guy takes off his Boston Red Sox baseball hat and throws it aside. Caboose and Some Guy nod their heads...and then rush into the ring, beginning a slugfest with Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug! Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell.

 

COLE

And here we go!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“Sexy Boy” dies down. Caboose takes on The Bone Thug, while Some Guy battles Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua! SG takes turns punching Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua, while Caboose takes Bone Thug into a corner and starts pummeling away at him!

 

COLE

Caboose and Some Guy are handling the 3-on-2 disadvantage well right now!

 

Some Guy knocks down Vitamin X, and then starts punching Mr. Boricua. The punches stagger the big man, but he does not fall. Vitamin X goes for the attack, but Some Guy knocks him down again! SG then turns his attention to Boricua again. Some Guy looks at Caboose...and the two of them charge forward, clotheslining Mr. Boricua over the top rope and onto the floor!

 

COACH

Oh no!

 

COLE

The Lightning Crew is in trouble as we start this match! The OAOAST Originals are on a roll here!

 

Some Guy goes back to his corner. While he does this, Caboose starts beating on Vitamin X! VX can no longer take it and rolls out of the ring. Mr. Boricua enters the ring, and immediately starts getting pummeled by Caboose!

 

COLE

So far, so good, for Caboose and Some Guy!

 

Caboose grabs Mr. Boricua and throws him over to his corner, where Some Guy sticks his right foot out. Not surprisingly, Mr. Boricua hits the boot. Mr. B falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring. Caboose then makes the tag to Some Guy.

 

COLE

Things are finally in order in this match-up.

 

COACH

Good. Now, The LC can really dominate now that it's a fair fight!

 

Some Guy paces back and forth in the ring. The Bone Thug enters the ring. He stares a hole through SG.

 

COACH

Aw yeah! The Bone Thug is making his AngleMania debut! This should be good!

 

Some Guy and The Bone Thug stare at each other, while the crowd cheers. Bone Thug yells in Spanish, while Some Guy does his trash talking in English. Some Guy and Bone Thug circle the ring, with Some Guy keeping an eye out on the outside as Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua head to their corner.

 

COLE

The referee has regained control. We can start this match proper now.

 

Some Guy and The Bone Thug lock up. SG quickly grabs a headlock. However, The Bone Thug quickly throws SG into the ropes. Some Guy responds with a shoulder tackle, and then DANCES~! The girls in the crowd SQUEAL~!

 

COLE

Ha ha! Some Guy is in classic form here tonight at AngleMania VI!

 

COACH

Enough with the dancing! Let's kick some BUTT!

 

SG mouths off to The Bone Thug, who doesn't look too pleased. The two men lock up. Bone Thug takes SG into a neutral corner. He punches Some Guy in the face! He does it again! And again! Thug unleashes a knife-edged chop across Some Guy's chest!

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Bone Thug goes for a punch—BLOCKED! SG punches Bone Thug in the face! He does it again! And again! And again! SG grabs Bone Thug and takes him over to the neutral corner! He starts pummeling him with left hands, dazing the newest member of The Lightning Crew! Princess Stacey watches on with concern on her beautiful face as Some Guy grabs Bone Thug by his right wrist, and then whips him into the opposite corner. Bone Thug bounces off the turnbuckle and walks towards SG, so Some Guy grabs Bone Thug and lifts him onto his shoulders...where he gives him the SomeDRIVER (Sit Out Death Valley Driver)!

 

COLE

SomeDRIVER! Early on in this match!

 

Some Guy goes for the cover!

 

1...2...KICK OUT!

 

COACH

It was a little too early for that move!

 

“SOME GUY!”

“SOME GUY!”

“SOME GUY!”

“SOME GUY!”

 

Some Guy picks The Bone Thug up. He whips him into the ropes. The Bone Thug holds onto the ropes and slides out of the ring!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

Bone Thug has decided to take a little breather!

 

COACH

Hey give him a break! This is his first AngleMania! He might still have butterflies in his stomach!

 

COLE

His name is Bone THUG. He shouldn't act like this!

 

COACH

There you go! With the stereotypes! No wonder everybody hates you!

 

The Bone Thug walks around ringside. Some Guy doesn't wait. He instead exits the ring and meets up with The Bone Thug---

 

which causes him to get poked in the eyes!

 

COACH

You see! You see! It was all a trap! Bone Thug suckered Some Guy in! HA HA HA HA HA!

 

Some Guy holds his eyes and staggers around ringside. The Bone Thug says something in Spanish while looking at SG. Bone Thug charges forward...and gets BAAAAAAAACK Body Dropped onto the protective mats!

 

And then to make things worst, Caboose comes off the ring apron with a splash onto Bone Thug!

 

COLE

Oh my! What a double team move from Caboose and Some Guy! From out of nowhere!

 

Caboose bows to the cheering fans!

 

COACH

No fair! That was on the outside! How could he do that!?

 

COLE

What great team work!

 

COACH

It was cheating!

 

Caboose grabs Bone Thug and throws him back into the ring.

 

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

 

The Bone Thug decides he has had enough and makes the tag to Vitamin X! The crowd boos LOUDLY.

 

COACH

All right! Time for Prince Vitamin to show Some Guy what he's all about!

 

But then, Caboose holds his right hand out.

 

SOME GUY

You want him?

 

CABOOSE

Give him to me!

 

COLE

Caboose wants to settle this issue with Vitamin X here and now!

 

COACH

He's crazy! He's absolutely crazy! He's going to get killed!

 

Some Guy makes the tag to Caboose.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Vitamin X is now a little hesitant to be in the ring right now. He looks at Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug, and then looks at Princess Stacey. All three of them are encouraging Vitamin X to go for it.

 

COLE

I think Vitamin X is about to regret what he's done to Caboose!

 

COACH

Vitamin X regrets nothing!

 

Caboose inches closer and closer to VX...so VX leaves the ring to boos.

 

COLE

Oh come on!

 

Caboose leaves the ring and chases after Vitamin X. Finally, Vitamin X goes for a punch—BLOCKED by Caboose! 'boose responds with a right hand of his own! And another one! And another one! Caboose grabs The X-Man and slams his head on top of the announce table! Vitamin X is stunned, so Caboose brings him down with a clothesline!

 

COLE

After five weeks of waiting, Caboose has Vitamin X in his grasp, and he is taking full advantage of it!

 

COACH

Oh come on X! Win it for The Princess!

 

Caboose throws VX back into the ring. He bounces off the ropes, jumps up, and jumps down with a elbow onto Vitamin X!

 

COLE

The lateral press by Caboose!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THR-KICK OUT!

 

COACH

That was a little too close for me.

 

Caboose continues his assault as the crowd has quieted down. 'boose picks Vitamin X up...and gives him the EndOfTheLine!

 

COLE

EndOfTheLine! Could this be the EndOfTheLine for Vitamin X?

 

The cover! 1...2...LEFT SHOULDER UP! Caboose slaps the mat in frustration, and then picks Vitamin X up again. He lifts him up onto his shoulders, and then places him on a neutral turnbuckle corner in the tree of woe position. He then makes the tag to Some Guy. As SG enters the ring, Caboose heads to the opposite corner and charges forward. He does a baseball slide right into Vitamin X's face!

 

“OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COACH

How did he learn to do that!? Baseball's not popular in England!

 

COLE

The Prince of The Lightning Crew is getting his face royally punished!

 

Princess Stacey winces seeing that move. Mike Chioda orders 'boose back to his corner. Some Guy taunts The Bone Thug and Mr. Boricua, and then punches Vitamin X squared in the nuts!

 

COACH

Aaah! Not in the crown jewels!

 

COLE

Looks like Vitamin X and Princess Stacey might not have any children!

 

COACH

Don't say that! DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!

 

Mike Chioda warns Some Guy about the ball shot. Some Guy responds by motioning to kick the ref's ass. Another “SOME GUY!” chant starts up as SG picks X up and starts punching him in the face. SG gives VX an Irish whip into the ropes. SG puts his head down, so Vitamin X kicks him right in the face! SG staggers around the ring, with Vitamin X waiting for him to get close. When SG does, Vitamin X charges forward, and gets clotheslined by Some Guy!

 

COLE

And so much for that!

 

COACH

Quiet Michael!

 

Some Guy picks Vitamin X up and takes him over to a neutral corner where he slams his face on a top turnbuckle pad! He then whips Vitamin X into the ropes—VX reverses—and The Bone Thug hits Some Guy in the back of his head!

 

COLE

Oh what a cheapshot!

 

The Bone Thug yells in Spanish. Some Guy responds by knocking Bone Thug off the ring apron and onto the floor! He then knocks Mr. Boricua off the ring apron and onto the floor!

 

COACH

Two cheapshots!

 

Vitamin X goes for a punch; a punch which Some Guy blocks! Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch! Prince Vitamin is dazed and confused! To the ropes goes Vitamin X—HOWEVER, Vitamin X reverses, Some Guy hits the ropes, and Mr. Boricua pulls the top rope down, causing Some Guy to crash onto the outside!

 

COACH

Yes! Go Boricua!

 

Boricua picks Some Guy up, lifts him off his feet, and then drops him on the edge of the barricade! Some Guy collapses onto the ground!

 

COLE

Mr. Boricua showing his power! 6'9” 300 lbs! The man is a monster in the OAOAST!

 

COACH

The man who has been in The Lightning Crew the longest is showing you just why he's been a charter member for FOUR years now!

 

Vitamin X exits the ring and stomps on Some Guy. He then picks SG up and throws him back into the ring before Caboose can come near him. Vitamin X enters the ring and then makes the tag to Mr. Boricua. VX gets some kicks all over Some Guy's body before being forced to exit the ring.

 

COACH

Check this out!

 

An instant replay is shown of Mr. Boricua pulling the top rope down, causing Some Guy to crash to the outside.

 

COACH

Great move by Boricua! He should get a cookie for that one!

 

Mr. Boricua picks Some Guy up and punches him in his face! He then takes him over to a neutral corner and slams his head on the top turnbuckle pad! Mr. Boricua then drives his right knee into Some Guy, all the while yelling and screaming. Vitamin X cheers him on.

 

COLE

Mr. Boricua, making his in-ring debut at AngleMania, is taking it to Some Guy, an OAOAST legend!

 

Mr. B continues hammering away at Some Guy until Mike Chioda tells him to stop. Mr. Boricua responds by screaming at the referee. Mike Chioda runs a few feet away from the monster. This little distraction actually helps Some Guy, because when Mr. Boricua goes back to SG, SG responds by punching Mr. Boricua in the head! He does it several more times, actually staggering the 6'9” bodyguard for Tha Puerto Rican! Some Guy bounces off the ropes---

 

 

BAM!

 

 

right into a MASSIVE~! clothesline from Mr. Boricua! Boricua covers!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 ½

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RIGHT SHOULDER UP!

 

Mr. B picks Some Guy up and takes him over to The Lightning Crew corner, where he makes the tag to The Bone Thug. Boricua holds SG in place, so that Bone Thug can kick him in the stomach. Some Guy tries to roll over to his corner, but Bone Thug grabs his right hand and pulls him back into the center of the ring!

 

THE BONE THUG

¡No pienso tan el madrefucker!

 

Bone Thug picks Some Guy up and takes him over to a turnbuckle corner.

 

THE BONE THUG

¡Ahora te tengo!

 

The Bone Thug punches Some Guy in the face several times. He then chops him across his chest.

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

They felt that in Montreal!

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COACH

They felt that in Alberta!

 

The Bone Thug jogs over to the opposite corner. Thug looks directly at Some Guy with a sneer on his face. He then charges forward like a bull...

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

 

 

 

AND KNOCKS SOME GUY IN THE UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A TURNBUCKLE YAKUZA KICK~!

 

BONE THUG

VIVA LA RAZA~!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

Oh my! They felt that all the way in the United States!

 

COACH

And Mexico too!

 

Bone Thug sneers at the crowd. He then slaps his chest ala Eddie Guerrero. The Bone Thug turns around...and gets kicked in the stomach. Some Guy gives Bone Thug a Wheelbarrow Someplex! Some Guy rolls through. And gives Bone Thug another Wheelbarrow Someplex! Some Guy rolls through, and gives Thug ANOTHER Wheelbarrow Someplex! He rolls through a third time and gives Bone Thug a FOURTH Wheelbarrow Someplex!

 

COLE

The Rolling Wheelbarrow Someplexes! We haven't seen those moves in a long time!

 

But the moves have taken the energy out of Some Guy. He lies on the mat along with The Bone Thug, with their sides begging for a tag! Princess Stacey is also on the outside, begging for the tag to be made!

 

PRINCESS STACEY

Come on! COME ON!

 

See?

 

COLE

Both men are out of it! A tag must surely be made!

 

The Bone Thug crawls over to his corner. Slowly, but surely. Meanwhile, SG is still lying on his back, not moving since giving the Rolling Wheelbarrow Someplexes. Bone Thug crawls over to The LC corner, and makes the tag to Mr. Boricua. Mr. Boricua quickly enters the ring and starts hammering away on Some Guy's head.

 

COLE

I think things have about picked up for The Lightning Crew!

 

Mr. Boricua continues pummeling Some Guy, in between fits of screaming and yelling. Boricua picks Some Guy up by his hair, and gives him a DANGEROUS~! bodyslam onto the mat! Some Guy yells out in pain! Boricua then picks Some Guy up by his hair again and takes him over to a neutral corner, where he hits him with some shoulder tackles into the abdomen.

 

“SOME GUY!”

“SOME GUY!”

“SOME GUY!”

“SOME GUY!”

 

Mr. Boricua chokes Some Guy with his right foot!

 

MIKE CHIODA

Come on now! Break it up! 1! 2! 3! 4!

 

Mr. Boricua stops choking Some Guy. He yells at the referee. Mr. Boricua whips Some Guy into the opposite corner. Some Guy hits the turnbuckle back first HARD! Boricua looks at Some Guy and yells out.

 

COACH

Uh-oh! Mr. Boricua is going to try something! This won't be good!

 

COLE

I'm sure it won't! Some Guy better move out of the way!

 

Mr. Boricua rushes forward, using all his energy for an avalanche~!

 

BUT SOME GUY MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!

 

And Mr. Boricua CRASHES INTO THE TURNBUCKLE STERNUM FIRST!

 

Some Guy bounces off the ropes, and hits Mr. Boricua with a flying clothesline, which finally knocks the big man down!

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

Some Guy did it! Some Guy has knocked down Mr. Boricua!

 

COACH

Oh crap! Get up! Get up Mr. Boricua!

 

Some Guy and Mr. Boricua both lie on the mat, but they're both starting to crawl over to their corners.

 

COACH

I bet Some Guy wishes he never picked up that phone when Caboose called him!

 

COLE

Will you stop?

 

Some Guy crawls closer and closer to his corner...and makes the tag to Caboose!

 

COLE

Caboose with the tag! And he's ready to go!

 

Caboose runs into the ring. He blocks a Mr. Boricua punch, and then starts punching Mr. Boricua himself!

 

COLE

Caboose is hammering away at the biggest member of The Lightning Crew!

 

The punches take Mr. Boricua into the ropes. 'boose gives Mr. Boricua an Irish whip into the ropes. He follows that up with a kick to the gut, and then the EndOfTheLine on Mr. Boricua! Caboose runs over to punch Vitamin X, but Vitamin X jumps off the ring apron! However, Caboose is able to punch The Bone Thug in the head, knocking him off the ring apron too!

 

COLE

Caboose was looking for VX, but VX wasn't there! Vitamin X ran away from the ring!

 

COACH

He wasn't running away! He was conserving energy! There's a difference!

 

'boose goes back to Mr. Boricua, picking him up and applying a front facelock on him. HOWEVER, Mr. Boricua gets a sudden burst of energy and drives Caboose back-first into a neutral corner. He then proceeds to start punching Caboose in the face repeatedly, hurting the two-time former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion!

 

COACH

Yeah! Get him Mr. Boricua! Get him!

 

COLE

Mr. Boricua can easily overpower Caboose, and he's doing so right this instance!

 

Caboose fights back with punches of his own! He then takes Mr. Boricua back to the turnbuckle corner and punches him some more! Vitamin X is back on the ring apron and yelling at Mr. Boricua to strike.

 

VITAMIN X

Sweep the leg!

 

Caboose keeps punching and punching and punching, until Mr. Boricua is on his knees! He then plays to the crowd, who cheer loudly! 'boose walks on over to the opposite corner, and charges forward...

 

 

 

RIGHT INTO A MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE FROM MR. BORICUA~!!!

 

COACH

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

 

COLE

And Mr. Boricua! That was like being run over by mack truck!

 

COACH

Caboose doesn't know where he's at! The lights are on, but nobody's home!

 

Caboose's eyes are definitely glazed over. Mr. Boricua picks Caboose up and throws him through the ropes to the outside. Vitamin X heads to the outside himself.

 

COACH

Just like those Lightning Crew beatdowns over the past few weeks, we're going to see more of the same tonight at AngleMania VI!

 

Vitamin X stalks Caboose like a predator stalks his prey. He motions for Caboose to come closer to him. When he does, Vitamin X grabs Caboose and goes for a punch!

 

BLOCKED!

 

Caboose chokes Vitamin X with his bare hands!

 

COACH

HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! GET THE REFEREE!

 

Caboose chokes Vitamin X all the way to the barricade! That is until The Bone Thug jumps off the ring apron and attacks Caboose from behind with his knees!

 

COLE

The Bone Thug comes to the rescue!

 

COACH

He's proving his worth to The Lightning Crew!

 

Bone Thug punches Caboose in the face! He slaps him with more knife-edged chops across the chest, turning his chest red in the process! Vitamin X then decides it's his turn and kicks Caboose in the stomach! He then whips Caboose into the nearest ring steps, with Caboose hitting the steps knees-first, doing a front flip on the way down!

 

COACH

Yeah baby! Yeah! That's how you do it at AngleMania VI! YEAH-UH~! That did it! That definitely did it!

 

Caboose holds his knees in pain on the outside. Vitamin X and The Bone Thug get back onto the ring apron. The crowd boos loudly. Mr. Boricua screams, snorts, grunts, and cracks his knuckles.

 

COACH

Hey! He wanted to do this comeback! He asked for this! Remember what Vitamin X said: anything that happens to Caboose from now on is his own fault!

 

COLE

That was totally unnecessary! They didn't need to do that!

 

COACH

Yeah, but they've done it! So no use crying over spilled milk!

 

COLE

That was just devastating!

 

An instant replay shows Vitamin X throwing Caboose into the ring steps.

 

COACH

Listen...BOO-YAH~! My man did his thing! I love it!

 

COLE

You're loving the punishment Caboose is getting because of what he's said to you while commentating aren't you?

 

COACH

Yes. How did you know?

 

COLE

Everyone could see it, even someone with your intelligence.

 

COACH

Yeah—HEY!

 

Caboose is thrown back into the ring by Vitamin X. Vitamin X heads to the ring apron. Mr. Boricua makes the tag to him. Vitamin X then enters the ring again and covers Caboose. It gets a two count. Vitamin X kicks Caboose all over his body, irritating the 67,000-plus fans in the SkyDome. Vitamin X picks Caboose up. He starts jukin' and jivin'. The crowd boos.

 

COACH

He's feeling it! He's feeling it!

 

Vitamin X punches Caboose in the face. He punches him in the face again! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, drawing boos, and then punches Caboose a third time, knocking him down!

 

COACH

An AngleMania Shane-O-Mac Shuffle!

 

COLE

Vitamin X with his three-punch combo knocking the OAOAST Original down!

 

COACH

Caboose is in big trouble now!

 

Vitamin X picks Caboose up by his head. VX takes Caboose over to a turnbuckle corner where he places 'boose's head on the bottom turnbuckle pad. The X-Man chokes Caboose with his right foot. Princess Stacey grins evilly.

 

COLE

Vitamin X in control of his arch-rival these past few weeks, and I'm sure Vitamin X is thinking about Caboose's interference in the X-Division Championship tournament Semi-Final match he had with Dance Dance Dragon two weeks ago!

 

COACH

A travesty Dragon advanced! But it's okay. Because Tha Puerto Rican will take care of him tonight!

 

Vitamin X heads to the opposite turnbuckle. The crowd starts booing. Vitamin X jumps up and down in place, and then blows a kiss to Princess Stacey.

 

COLE

Oh no!

 

COACH

Oh yes! Here it comes! A special AngleMania edition!

 

Vitamin X charges forward...and gives Caboose a Broncobuster!

 

COLE

Broncobuster! Broncobuster on the OAOAST Original!

 

COACH

He does that move better than anybody in this business...ESPECIALLY Colombian Heat!

 

Vitamin X gets up and does a SHIMMY~! The crowd boos Vitamin X's mocking of Colombian Heat. Princess Stacey loves it, however.

 

COLE

Mocking Colombian Heat. That's great.

 

COACH

I know, isn't it? Mocking him never gets old!

 

Prince Vitamin stomps on Caboose some more.

 

COLE

Can you imagine how hard it'll be to deal with Vitamin X if he is able to score the deciding fall in this match, and it be on Caboose?

 

COACH

Don't you think that's exactly what's going to happen? I mean, it's his destiny!

 

COLE

What about Some Guy?

 

COACH

Bah! Some Guy is hurt! He's finished!

 

Vitamin X grabs Caboose and takes him over to the heel corner. He makes the tag to The Bone Thug. VX chokes Caboose with his bare hands as Bone Thug enters the ring. Bone Thug kicks Caboose in his right knee.

 

“X'S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

“X'S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

“X'S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

“X'S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

 

COACH

HE IS NOT!

 

The Bone Thug pulls Caboose out of the turnbuckle and into the center of the ring, where he chops him again, causing him to fall to the mat. He yells at Some Guy in Spanish, then cracks a smile.

 

COACH

I think Bone Thug is liking this!

 

Bone Thug picks Caboose up. He chops him across his chest! (“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”) He then punches him in the face! Caboose punches back! Bone Thug punches back! Caboose punches back! Then Bone Thug! Caboose! Bone Thug! Caboose! Bone Thug! Caboose! Caboose! Caboose! Caboose goes to his corner—but is stopped by The Bone Thug, who holds onto Caboose's left foot with both of his feet! Caboose and The Bone Thug both fall, but since Thug is close to his corner, he makes the tag to Vitamin X!

 

COLE

Bone Thug cuts off the tag by using his feet!

 

COACH

Great move by The Bone Thug!

 

Vitamin X kicks Caboose in his back, and then grabs him by the back of his head. He goes for his version of the STF, the Lethal Injection, but Caboose elbows out of it! Still, VX fights on, applying a Camel Clutch on Caboose!

 

COLE

Vitamin X has the Camel Clutch applied!

 

COACH

Prince Vitamin with the Royal Clutch!

 

COLE

What?

 

Vitamin X sits right on Caboose, and then applies the Camel—uh--Royal Clutch again!

 

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

 

COLE

The crowd coming alive, trying to get Caboose back into this match!

 

COACH

Even if it is 67,000 fans, it's not going to work!

 

Princess Stacey nods her head, showing she approves of the Royal Clutch. Some Guy paces back and forth on the ring apron.

 

COLE

Some Guy looking on, hoping for a tag to come quick!

 

COACH

Vitamin X has Caboose right where he wants him! Just like it saids on his shirt. A 2-For-1 sale on Legend Killing!

 

Caboose gets on his knees, almost breaking the Royal Clutch. He waves his hands to try and come back. The crowd starts cheering louder and louder. 'boose gets on his left knee, still caught in the Royal Clutch, but Vitamin X is starting to worry. Finally, Caboose gets back to a vertical base!

 

COACH

Oh crap!

 

Caboose elbows Vitamin X in the gut! He does it again! And again! And again! So Vitamin X grabs Caboose and throws him down onto the mat! VX then makes the tag to Mr. Boricua. X holds Caboose in place, so that Mr. Boricua can kick Caboose in the stomach!

 

COLE

Here comes the monster, Mr. Boricua!

 

COACH

Look at the numbers game, Cole. You do the math. Even you can figure this out. 3 is more than 2 right?

 

COLE

Yeah.

 

COACH

Well there you go! It's quite simple really. This is why The Lightning Crew will win!

 

COLE

We'll see about that!

 

Mr. Boricua stomps on Caboose, and then picks him up. He gives Caboose a short-armed clothesline! He picks Caboose up again and gives him another short-armed clothesline! Mr. Boricua yells, screams, and snorts, and then gets on top of Caboose and starts pummeling him in the head!

 

COACH

Oh look at this! Watch Mr. Boricua go!

 

COLE

Caboose trying to cover up!

 

COACH

Knock him out Boricua!

 

Mr. Boricua keeps punching Caboose, hitting him with lefts and rights! But then, Caboose pokes Mr. Boricua in the eyes, stopping the assault!

 

COACH

Hey!

 

COLE

Well, it stopped the assault at least!

 

COACH

It's cheating!

 

Mr. Boricua holds his eyes, trying to get rid of the pain, the poor big lug. He gets off of Caboose, allowing 'boose the chance to get back to his feet.

 

COACH

Quick! Get him some Visine! Pronto!

 

Vitamin X enters the ring and knocks Caboose down!

 

COLE

The X-Man stopping any comeback from Caboose!

 

COACH

Excellent.

 

Vitamin X gets back into The Lightning Crew corner before Mike Chioda can tell him to. Mr. Boricua recovers from the dehabilatating eye poke and makes the tag to The Bone Thug. Bone Thug enters the ring and immediately stomps on the recovering Caboose. He curses in Spanish and then picks Caboose up.

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Caboose punches Bone Thug! Bone Thug punches Caboose! The two men engage in a slugfest in the middle of the ring! But it ends when Bone Thug scratches Caboose in the eyes. By now, almost all of Caboose's facepaint has disappeared. Bone Thug whips Caboose into The Lightning Crew corner. He makes the tag to Mr. Boricua. Mr. B grunts, snorts, and knees Caboose in the gut, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Boricua puts his head down, so when Caboose comes back, 'boose gives him a spinning neckbreaker!

 

COLE

Caboose out of nowhere with that spinning neckbreaker! And I gotta believe that that move was out of desperation!

 

COACH

Oh crap! Oh crap! Come on Mr. Boricua! Get back up!

 

Both Mr. Boricua and Caboose lie on the mat. Bone Thug, Princess Stacey, and Vitamin X look on in their corner, while Some Guy stands on the second ring rope, clapping his hands for the tag. Mr. Boricua starts moving.

 

COLE

Some Guy is well rested! He's the freshest man in this match!

 

Mr. Boricua sits up. The crowd cheers louder! Mr. Boricua starts crawling over to his corner. Some Guy yells out for the tag. Caboose starts crawling over to *his* corner.

 

COLE

Some Guy begging for a tag! He would like to get back into this match-up!

 

COACH

Stop him, Boricua!

 

Caboose inches closer and closer to Some Guy! Mr. Boricua sees this and changes direction, turning around to try and stop Caboose!

 

COLE

Caboose must make the tag! Mr. Boricua is trying to stop him!

 

COACH

STOP HIM! MR. BORICUA, STOP HIM!

 

Caboose slowly, very slowly stands up. 'boose bounces off the ropes, looking to clothesline Mr. Boricua. HOWEVER, Mr. Boricua fires off with a clothesline at the same time! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE OF DOOM~!

 

COLE

Oh my! Both men are down again! Both men colliding with clotheslines. But the bigger and stronger Mr. Boricua feeling a little less of the effect!

 

Indeed, Mr. Boricua easily rolls over to his corner and makes the tag to The Bone Thug!

 

COLE

And The Bone Thug once again in this match! Seems like when The Lightning Crew gets into a tough position, they bring in Bone Thug.

 

COACH

He's done a damn good job in this match so far! Over the past few weeks, all he's fought is scrubs, but tonight, in front of 67,000 fans at the biggest show of the year, taking on two OAOAST Originals, The Bone Thug has held his own!

 

COLE

Indeed he has, Coach. PRL's cousin, The Bone Thug, in the biggest match of his young career, is holding things down for The Lightning Crew members in action in this match-up!

 

The Bone Thug picks up Caboose and punches him in the face.

 

COACH

Come on Bone Thug! Make your cousin proud!

 

Bone Thug whips Caboose into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, Caboose ducks, stops in his tracks, and punches Bone Thug in the face! The punch knocks Bone Thug down! Caboose then makes the tag to Some Guy!

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COACH

Oh no!

 

COLE

And Some Guy is back in this match!

 

Some Guy is quick to attack, punching Bone Thug, taking him to the ropes! Some Guy whips Bone Thug into the opposite ropes—Bone Thug reverses—SG comes back with a flying forearm! He then kips up~! Vitamin X enters the ring. He goes for a clothesline, but Some Guy ducks that, kicks Vitamin X in the gut, and then places him in between his legs, lifting him up in the air, as if he's about to do a powerbomb, but then lets go and spears Vitamin X out of mid-air! SomeBOMB~!

 

COLE

SomeBOMB~! SomeBOMB~! SomeBOMB on the X-Man!

 

COACH

Oh no! X-Man get up!

 

Some Guy then grabs Mr. Boricua and pulls him over the top rope and onto the mat!

 

COACH

Gah!

 

COLE

The referee has lost control of this match once again!

 

The Bone Thug charges after Some Guy, and gets knocked down! Vitamin X gets up, so Some Guy knocks him down again! He then grabs VX and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor!

 

COLE

And oh my! Vitamin X went FLYING with that move!

 

COACH

Aah! Princess Stacey, check on your Prince!

 

Some Guy grabs The Bone Thug and gives him a bodyslam! He then kicks him to turn him on his stomach. SG then exits the ring and climbs the turnbuckle.

 

COLE

Some Guy going up top now!

 

COACH

What's he got planned?

 

SG is hunched over on the top rope. He stands up, looks at the crowd, looks at Mr. Boricua, looks at Caboose, looks at Bone Thug, and then gives Princess Stacey the international cunnilingus sign!

 

COACH

Hey!

 

Before jumping off the top rope with a picture perfect elbow drop onto the back of The Bone Thug's neck!

 

COLE

Some Guy with one of his signature moves!

 

COACH

How dare he disrespect The Princess!

 

Some Guy turns Bone Thug over and covers him, hooking his left leg.

 

1!

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

NO!

 

Bone Thug puts his left shoulder up!

 

COLE

Bone Thug with that last second move! He has saved The Lightning Crew from their first loss tonight at AngleMania VI!

 

COACH

There's still hope! Come on! Let's bring it to 2-0 LC! Come on!

 

COLE

67,000 fans on their feet! What a match they are witnessing! It's not about titles, it is about pride and revenge!

 

The crowd is disappointed with the two count. Some Guy is disappointed too, but he still gets up.

 

COLE

That was a close one! It could have been over!

 

COACH

That move might have taken a lot out of Some Guy! It might have been his bit of energy!

 

Some Guy is on his feet. Bone Thug is also getting to his feet, so SG grabs him. However, Bone Thug pokes him in the eye!

 

COLE

A thumb to the eye from Bone Thug!

 

The Bone Thug makes the tag to Vitamin X.

 

COLE

Vitamin X back in this match, going head-to-head with a former OAOAST World Tag Team Champion, something Vitamin X hasn't gotten, even with the Brains & Brawn tag team!

 

COACH

They'll get the belts in due time!

 

Vitamin X goes for a punch, and it is immediately blocked by Some Guy! Some Guy with a punch. Vitamin X kicks Some Guy in the stomach, and then turns around, grabbing him from behind, and then lifting Some Guy up onto his shoulders in a Torture Rack position. Vitamin X walks around the ring with Some Guy on his shoulders for a few seconds, and then throws him off his shoulders.

 

HOWEVER!

 

Some Guy lands on his feet! He's behind Vitamin X! Vitamin X turns around.

 

 

 

*KA-POW~!!!*

 

 

 

AND GETS HIT WITH THE SOMEKICK~!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111

 

COLE

SomeKick! SomeKick! Some Guy with the SomeKick on Vitamin X!

 

COACH

(Bleep!)

 

Some Guy covers Vitamin X, hooking his left leg!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bone Thug pulls Some Guy out of the ring!

 

COACH

Phew!

 

The Bone Thug charges for a clothesline, however Some Guy cuts him off with a clothesline of his own!

 

COACH

Damnit!

 

Some Guy heads back into the ring while Bone Thug gets up. Thug runs across the ringside area, stopping at the timekeeper's table where he throws the timekeeper off, and grabs his chair.

 

COLE

What the? What's Bone Thug doing?

 

COACH

No clue!

 

Bone Thug runs with the chair, but is stopped by referee Mike Chioda on the outside. Bone Thug argues with the ref (in Spanish obviously), and while that's happening on the outside, Mr. Boricua enters the ring and gives Some Guy a MASSIVE~! clothesline down onto the mat!

 

COACH

Oh! Now I get it!

 

COLE

The referee is on the outside trying to restrain Bone Thug, and in the meantime, Mr. Boricua just knocked out Some Guy with a MASSIVE clothesline!

 

COACH

Good job, Boricua! He really is good for something isn't he?

 

COLE

Yeah. Running interference!

 

COACH

Oh hush up!

 

The ref is trying to pull the steel chair away from The Bone Thug. Back in the ring, Mr. Boricua picks up Some Guy and places him in between his legs. Mr. B then lifts Some Guy up high into the air...and then drives him straight down to the mat with the LATINO BOMB~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

 

COLE

Latino Bomb! Latino Bomb! Mr. Boricua has just laid to waste Some Guy! Awesome velocity!

 

COACH

All right! Mr. Boricua strikes again! Things are going The Lightning Crew's way!

 

Mr. Boricua rolls out of the ring. Some Guy and Vitamin X are the only guys left in the ring, and both of them are knocked out. Caboose can only stand on the ring apron, his facepaint all gone, and watch.

 

COLE

Mr. Boricua has left his mark. And now Vitamin X can capitalize!

 

Indeed, VX is crawling to the center of the ring to cover Some Guy. Mike Chioda has gotten the chair away from Bone Thug and is ordering him to get back to his corner. The crowd is booing.

 

COLE

And now Vitamin X may get this victory for The Lightning Crew!

 

COACH

2-0 baby!

 

Vitamin X crawls and crawls. When he puts his right hand over Some Guy's chest, Princess Stacey breathes a sigh of relief. The Bone Thug and Mr. Boricua are back at The Lightning Crew corner, while Caboose is still at his corner, worried. Mike Chioda gets back into the ring and makes the count.

 

1....

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 ½

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

NOT!

 

KICK OUT!!!

 

COLE

No! They're not beaten! Some Guy has kicked out!

 

COACH

Oh come on! The best laid plans go to waste! They almost pulled off a masterpiece there!

 

VX is PISSED OFF~! But he's fatigued, so he lies on the mat. Which cannot be said for Some Guy, who is crawling to his corner to make the tag. The crowd starts cheering again, trying to rally Some Guy to make the tag to Caboose, who is stretching out his right hand.

 

COLE

Some Guy is looking to make the comeback here! He's looking to make the tag to Caboose, who is holding onto that tag team rope! How much gas is left in that tank?

 

“SOME GUY!”

“SOME GUY!”

 

Some Guy inches closer and closer to Caboose. Vitamin X sees him and starts crawling in SG's direction. Vitamin X grabs Some Guy's right leg. SG feels this and tries to pull away from VX, but The X-Man won't let go. Finally, Some Guy uses all the strength he has left to jump the few feet necessary to reach his corner and make the tag to Caboose!

 

COACH

Uh-oh! He got it!

 

COLE

The tag is made! Caboose is back in this match! And the first guy he meets is Vitamin X!

 

Vitamin X begs off from Caboose, but 'boose ain't having it! The OAOAST legend starts punching The Prince of The Lightning Crew repeatedly in the face, knocking him down! The Bone Thug enters the ring, and he too gets knocked down! Mr. Boricua enters the ring, and a punch sends him through the ropes onto the floor! Caboose knocks down The Bone Thug once again, and then starts punching Vitamin X! The Bone Thug rolls out of the ring, leaving Caboose and Vitamin X as the only men left in the ring. Caboose grabs Vitamin X and gives him the EndOfTheLine!

 

COLE

Just like last month on HeldDOWN~!

 

Caboose picks the dazed Vitamin X up and looks at the crowd. They cheer. Caboose goes for the EMERALD FUSION~! However, Vitamin X escapes! X and 'boose engage in a slugfest! Back and forth they go, exchanging punches. But then, Caboose starts gaining the advantage! He punches The X-Man again and again and again! Caboose grabs Vitamin X by his right arm and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Caboose goes for a clothesline, but Vitamin X ducks, stops in his tracks...and kicks Caboose squared in the groin!

 

“OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

Oh! A shot to the groin from Vitamin X! And the referee didn't see it!

 

COACH

He's too busy trying to keep Bone Thug out of the ring! Leave the man alone. He's just doing his job!

 

COLE

Oh come on!

 

Caboose holds his special area. While he does this, Vitamin X grabs him from behind and lifts him up onto his shoulders in a Torture Rack position.

 

COACH

Oh boy! Here we go! It's time! He's going for it!

 

The crowd boos loudly. Vitamin X walks around the ring with Caboose on his shoulders. He has a look of rage and determination on his face. Princess Stacey outstretches her arms and smiles as she watches her man throw Caboose off of his shoulders, giving him a neckbreaker on the way down!

 

COLE

The X-Clamation Point! Vitamin X has just given Caboose the X-Clamation Point!

 

COACH

Yes! Yes! That'll show him! Caboose is down for the count!

 

COLE

Caboose is out! He is out cold!

 

The crowd boos loudly. Vitamin X sits up satisfied. Princess Stacey applauds her Prince. Caboose lies in the center of the ring with his eyes glazed over. VX stands up, stumbling a little because of how much energy he has spent in this match, and exits the ring.

 

COLE

What now?

 

COACH

I think I have an idea.

 

VX looks at the crowd and sneers. This causes the crowd to boo even louder. VX responds by flicking some of the sweat off his forehead at the fans. X then climbs the top rope.

 

COLE

He's already given Caboose the X-Clamation Point! But X ain't done yet!

 

Vitamin X is hunched over on the top turnbuckle. His eyes are focused solely on Caboose, who hasn't moved since the X-Clamation Point. Vitamin X stands up straight on the top rope and looks down at Caboose.

 

COLE

X is going to fly!

 

COACH

Look out below!

 

A hush silence falls over the crowd. Princess Stacey watches with glee. Some Guy can only watch with a worried look on his face. Caboose is still out. So, Vitamin X decides there's no better time than now than to leap off the top rope...

 

 

 

 

and come crashing down onto Caboose with the LEAP OF FAITH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

 

COLE

Leap Of Faith! The Leap Of Faith on Caboose!

 

COACH

Whoa baby! Look at how high Vitamin X soared for his elbow drop! At the Toronto SkyDome, Vitamin X reached the sky! Beautiful!

 

Vitamin X gives the crowd a dirty look, and then covers Caboose, hooking his right leg. Mike Chioda gets down on his hands and knees and makes the count. Princess Stacey counts along.

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING* (16:58)

 

COACH

YES! HA HA HA!

 

COLE

And The Lightning Crew wins it!

 

COACH

2-0!

 

“Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. Caboose covers his face , embarrassed by the loss. Vitamin X sits up with a satisfied grin on his face. Princess Stacey applauds and screams “YES!”

 

BUFFER

Here are your winners...The Bone Thug, Mr. Boricua, and VITAMINNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

 

COACH

Amazing! I don't believe it!

 

Vitamin X bobs his head to the beat of his entrance song. He gets up and gets his hands raised in victory by Mike Chioda as the crowd boos.

 

COACH

That was beautiful!

 

COLE

Caboose is shocked! He can't believe that he has lost to Vitamin X at an AngleMania!

 

COACH

Yeah? Well it's happened! Vitamin X has won HUGE! He defeated not one but TWO OAOAST Originals in one match! He really is a Legend Killer! The back of his shirt WAS right! This was a 2-for-1 sale, and now The Lightning Crew can go for the sweep later on tonight!

 

COLE

Well, I can't deny it. Vitamin X with a huge victory, a big win at AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone! Prince Vitamin scored in the bottom of the 9th with the kick to the groin, the X-Clamation Point, and the Leap Of Faith, and Caboose cannot believe it!

 

COACH

Believe it, Mikey Cole! BEEEEEELIEVE IT! HA HA HA HA HA!

 

Vitamin X leaves the ring and hugs Princess Stacey. Stacey gives her Prince a kiss on the cheek, and then a kiss on the lips. VX raises his left hand in the air with an evil smile on his face.

 

COACH

This will go down in AngleMania history, Cole! Vitamin X, the X-Man, has beaten a two-time former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and two former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, in addition to charter members of the aWo, AND two OAOAST Originals! Vitamin X's career may never be the same after this!

 

COLE

He now has something ELSE to brag about now! That's rich.

 

COACH

No. HE'S rich! AND he has just defied the odds by winning this match! Things are going the X-Man's way right about now! And The Lightning Crew's ways too!

 

Vitamin X puts his left arm around Princess Stacey's shoulders. They join Bone Thug and Mr. Boricua and celebrate their victory. Mr. Boricua gives Vitamin X a giant bear hug. He smiles a big wide dumb smile. Vitamin X, Bone Thug, and Mr. Boricua raise their hands in victory while the crowd boos and “Bling-Bling” continues playing. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, irritating the fans at ringside.

 

COLE

Caboose continued his comeback by competing at AngleMania for the first time since 2005, and THIS is how it has ended for him at AngleMania VI!

 

COACH

You should have stayed down, Caboose! You should have stayed home like Vitamin X told you to. He was right! You're not the same man you used to be! You've changed for the worst! Your comeback is over, Caboose! Your career is finished!

 

Caboose sits up. He is heartbroken at his loss. Some Guy has entered the ring and is looking at The Lightning Crew. Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X laugh at Caboose and Some Guy, while The Bone Thug just stands there staring at them. Vitamin X kisses Princess Stacey one more time, and then gloats over The Lightning Crew's victory. Vitamin X and Princess Stacey laugh evilly while Mr. Boricua yells, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Princess Stacey then get on the ring cart to take them back to the entrance. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again in the ring cart.

 

COACH

Look at the celebration! The Lightning Crew's good fortunes continues tonight at AngleMania VI! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is the new OAOAST Women's Champion. Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug have defeated Some Guy and Caboose. And now, all we need is for Cuban Wall to win the Money In The Bank Battle Royal and for Tha Puerto Rican to beat Dance Dance Dragon and become the new OAOAST X-Division Champion and The Lightning Crew will have a clean sweep at AngleMania VI! Two down, two to go! These guys are on top of the world now! And you know what? Nothing is going to stop The Lightning Crew now! This is only the beginning! They're just getting started! This is just the beginning, Cole!

 

COLE

The good streak continues for PR's group. Will we see The Lightning Crew win all of their matches at AngleMania VI tonight? We'll find out soon enough!

 

The ring cart has taken the four Lightning Crew members through the entrance. “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. The crowd boos. Caboose stands up. He is still shocked at losing, especially being pinned by Vitamin X at AngleMania. 'boose rests his head on the top ring rope while Some Guy just looks at him.

 

COLE

Well Caboose and Some Guy gave us all they had here. It was 2 men against three, let's not forget that. Even if Vitamin X never kicked Caboose in the groin, the match WAS in The Lightning Crew's favor.

 

COACH

The kick didn't do the damage. It was the X-Clamation Point and The Leap Of Faith.

 

COLE

True, they hurt Caboose. Still, you have to wonder.

 

COACH

There's no time to wonder! There's still a lot more of AngleMania left to see!

 

Caboose talks to Some Guy. He says he's sorry for the loss. He keeps on talking to Some Guy, while Some Guy just stands there and listens. Some Guy nods his head and then breathes a deep sigh.

 

COACH

Uh-oh! Some Guy looks a little ticked off!

 

COLE

Well I'm sure both of these men have got to be disappointed. I mean, AngleMania's the grandest stage. We know what it means!

 

COACH

They're gonna fight! All those old memories are going to come back now, and they're going to explode! It's going to be great! A battle between LOSERS!

 

COLE

Oh will you stop?

 

The crowd starts applauding Some Guy and Caboose. All the 67,000 plus fans in attendance cheer loudly for the two OAOAST legends. Caboose and Some Guy just watch the crowd, sad, but still appreciating the applause.

 

COLE

They might have lost this match, but these two men are winners in the fans' eyes!

 

COACH

Ugh! Inspirational crap!

 

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

“CA-BOOSE!”

 

Caboose looks at the crowd and cracks a half-smile.

 

COACH

Why are these people chanting, 'CABOOSE!'? He's a LOSER! Listen! Listen to these people!

 

COLE

It's called respect, Coach! Something you have very little of.

 

COACH

Hey now! People love Da Coach!

 

COLE

Not as many as you think. And certainly not as many who love Caboose. And I'll tell you what, I'm sure having 67,000 fans chant your name must lift your spirits up!

 

COACH

Maybe. But not as much as winning might!

 

COLE

Coach, you just don't get it.

 

COACH

Get what?

 

COLE

Nevermind! Just—just nevermind!

 

Caboose walks around the ring in amazement of the crowd chanting his name. Some Guy looks at the crowd...and then applauds Caboose himself, causing the crowd to cheer even louder. Some Guy nods his head and mouths, “You did good.” while the crowd cheers. Caboose nods his head in response.

 

COACH

Ah nuts, I thought they were going to fight!

 

COLE

They're not going to fight because they realized that tonight wasn't their night. But Caboose's comeback isn't over yet! I'm sure he will live to fight another day and get another piece of Vitamin X!

 

COACH

But not tonight! Because tonight is The Lightning Crew's night!

 

Some Guy shakes Caboose's hands. He then hugs Caboose. The crowd cheers.

 

COLE

While this night could have ended better for Caboose and Some Guy, they will both live to fight another day! In the meantime, The Lightning Crew has won two of their matches so far tonight, with two more to go! Can they do it? Can Cuban Wall win the Money In The Bank Battle Royal, and can Tha Puerto Rican become the new X-Division Champion? We'll find out later tonight as OAOAST AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone continues on!

 

Some Guy raises Caboose's left hand in the air. The crowd, all 67,000-plus of them cheer loudly. This is the last image we see before we fade out.

 

WHO IS THE OAOAST CHAMPION?

 

The champ speaks LIVE Thursday night on TSM. OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

Edited April 2, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

COLE

Coming up next here at AngleMania, a match five months in the making. "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez returns to the ring to take "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez. A match we weren't entirely sure was going to take place, until just a couple of weeks ago. This all dates way back to the arrival of The Wildcards in late April of last year, amongst them Todd Cortez. As we all know, The Wildcards would soon go on to turn their backs on the man who brought them into the OAOAST, Zack Malibu. And it was Leon Rodez who was among those who stood at his on-off tag team partner's side to fight The Wildcards. Fast forward to War Games at Syndicated in October and after a successful victory for Team Zack, Cortez attacked Leon after the bell and executed his devestating finisher The Riot Act Plus across the adjoined ring aprons...

 

 

Rodez, who rolled to the spot in between rings, is helped to his feet by Charles Robinson and Nick Patrick...but as the two referees help him to his feet, Todd Cortez, recently recovered from the School's Out, comes and snags him by the head, pulling him away from the referees...

 

VENTURA

What's HE doing? Get some control in their, Patrick!

 

SCHIAVONE

Oh no...

 

VENTURA

Holy...

 

Cortez, in a flash, lets go of Leon alright...but not before leaping over his back and bringing him back down to earth right on the top of his head, compressing his neck and spine as he drops him on the hard surface of the two ring aprons pushed together with the RIOT ACT PLUS~!

 

SCHIAVONE

No! NO! THIS MATCH WAS OVER! THE MATCH IS OVER!

 

VENTURA

HE JUST BROKE HIS NECK, TONY!

 

Upon seeing this, Malibu bolts through the wall of people keeping him at bay, tackling Cortez to the canvas and unloading on him! Everyone tries to get Malibu off of him, but then the GPX start fighting THEM for interfering with Malibu's attack!

 

SCHIAVONE

It's chaos in the cage! Everything is going to hell!

 

Cortez manages to roll away in the madness, with the GPX fighting through security to try and get at him, while Zack crawls over to Leon. Zack looks at him, and the cameras show a glazed look in Leon's eyes as he lays perfectly still. Malibu screams "HE'S NOT MOVING! SOMEONE HELP HIM, HE CAN'T MOVE!" as loud as he can, and time suddenly stands still. OAOAST staff stop worrying about everything and anything and rush to Leon's side, checking on him but being sure not to jar his body or move him in the slightest. The Wildcards have been led out of the cage, and despite the loss tonight, despite their condition, they know that mentally, they still came out ahead. Malibu walks to the wall of the cage and screams for a stretcher, shouting "WE NEED HELP OUT HERE! NOW!" as two more medics, wheeling a stretcher, and even Anglesault himself charge out from the back. Zack turns back to his friend, who is still motionless, while the camera cuts to a shot of The Wildcards, Maddix, and Megan, looking like they just stepped out of a car wreck...and HAPPY ABOUT IT.

 

 

COLE

Somehow, Leon was able to escape without a broken neck after that vicious assault, but was put out of action nonetheless. Cortez has shown zero remorse ever since. Infact, he has had virtually no concern about it in the four months before Leon finally returned to the OAOAST to do commentary on the Anderson Cup Finals. However, when Cortez and Landon Maddix came out before the match, it led to the challenge being laid down by Rodez and accepted by Cortez. However, it wasn't made official until just recently, Leon only recieved doctor's clearance to wrestle a couple of weeks ago and it would seem that was only after second, third and fourth opinions. The question is, is Leon rushing back into action too soon in his eagerness to compete here at AngleMania and to get his hands on Todd Cortez.

 

COACH

All I know is, one more Riot Act Plus and five months on the shelf is gonna seem like a holiday. We might not see Leon ever again! And you know that Cortez wouldn't lose a second's sleep if that were the case.

 

COLE

It'll be interesting see what strategy Todd Cortez comes in with tonight. It's clear Leon is here tonight for the victory which he says will be revenge enough, but will Cortez come for a simple athletic contest or will he be out to re-injure the returning Silky Smooth One?

 

COACH

Maybe without Blank around to influence him, we'll see what Cortez can do as a wrestler.

 

COLE

Yeah, maybe. I won't hold my breath.

 

 

*DINGDING!*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!

 

All eyes turn to the aisleway, the loooong aisleway, as the always popular ring cart trundles towards the ring. "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche hits just as the cart comes into view, containing Todd Cortez. Not looking all that interested in being the centre of attention on the grandest stage of them all in a moving wrestling ring that elevates him a little over the crowd, Cortez stares dead ahead as the boos rain down on him.

 

BUFFER

On the way to the ring at this time, from 'Hollywood Boulevard'! Weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty six pounds. Making his AngleMania debut, he is "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOODD... CCCCOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRR - TTEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

Cortez stomps out of the cart at ringside and rolls into the ring, taking in the enormity of the arena properly for the first time. Removing his bulletproof vest and sunglasses, Cortez glares right back down the aisle, climbing onto the bottom rope of the corner at the foot of the aisle. And as the music begins to fade out and the echoes around Skydome do the same, a buzz jolts through the crowd. Already the cheers are starting, as if to annoy The Urban Legend, who stays stoic in the face of it all.

 

COLE

You can cut the anticipation with a knife, Coach!

 

COACH

Hey, maybe if you disappeared for five months, you'd get this sort of reaction. You should try it. For all our sakes.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

The crowd begin to reach a fever pitch as they wait impatiently. The man they're waiting for knows just how to work a crowd. And especially at AngleMania. The thousands upon thousands in Skydome now quieten a little, waiting for that oh, so familiar music to hit. But, it doesn't (because I'm a little bored with it now). Instead, some slow, soothing 80s rock begins to play.

 

COLE

Is... is this Whitesnake!?

 

COACH

Don't pretend you don't know fag.

 

"No I don't know where I'm goin'

But I sure know where I've been

Hangin' on the promises and the songs of yesterday

And I've made up my mind

I ain't wastin' no more time"

 

In amongst the sea of paper signs and mobile phone cameras, some of the Toronto fans raise their lighters in the air, getting into the spirit of this odd entrance music choice. Pretty soon, vast swathes of the fans are swaying from side to side, to the apparant bemusement of Cortez in the ring.

 

"Though I keep searching for an answer

I never seem to find what I'm lookin' for

But Lord I pray you give me strength to carry on

Cause I know all you need

To walk along the lonely street of dreams!"

 

 

*BOOOOM~!

 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

 

"AND HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN!"

 

A huge explosion of purple pyro goes up high towards the top of the Dome on the entrance side, distracting the crowd long enough for the ring cart to begin it's journey. And there in the centre, decked out in his most glittering of purple and orange AngleMania colour robes is the returning prodigal son himself, hands outstretched and singing along with the song at top of his voice! "The Silky Smooth One"! LEON RODEZ~!

 

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

"Goin' down the only road I've ever known!"

 

COLE

MY GOD! Would you listen to the reaction!!!

 

COACH

This is nuts!

 

"Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

But I've made my mind

I ain't wastin' no more time"

 

BUFFER

And, introducing his opponent!! Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds and making his RETURN to the ring tonight! He is making his third appearance at AngleMania... ladies and gentlemen, welcome back... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

 

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

Another roar goes up for Leon, grinning from ear to ear as he scans Skydome from his ring cart perch. Leon points out one pair of screaming females for a blown kiss, before blowing a kiss to the general audience as a whole and bowing. All these theatrics don't seem to be impressing Cortez what-so-ever as he continues to hang over the nearest turnbuckle, eyeing Rodez down. The Silky Smooth One unclips the front ropes and as his feet hit ringside he pauses for a moment, hands on hips, taking it all in with a deep breath.

 

COLE

Yes! Leon Rodez is back where he belongs and it's not a moment too soon! This Skydome crowd has come unglued in unison, sixty seven thousand plus strong on their feet for the return of Leon Rodez!

 

Climbing to the ring apron, Leon keeps a careful eye on Cortez as he walks to the opposite side of the ring, scaling the turnbuckles...

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...and earning himself another cheer. Rodez flares his robe out a little and grins his cheesiest of grins as he notices Cortez watching on. In over the top vaults The Silky Smooth One, which prompts Todd to take a step forward and meet him in the centre. But quickly, referee Charles Robinson steps in to prevent any staredown, which would no doubt escalate in a heartbeat in this atmosphere.

 

COLE

As you heard Michael Buffer mention, Todd Cortez making his AngleMania debut tonight. Leon Rodez, his third straight appearance at AngleMania and he is currently 2-0, unbeaten on the grandest stage of them all. He knows all about competing at AngleMania and far from being overwhelmed by this reaction, he seems to be revelling in it.

 

COACH

Well, he's always been a bit of an attention whore.

 

COLE

What!?

 

COACH

Hey, it's great to have him back, don't get me wrong. But the truth must be told. He probably doesn't even hear 70% of the noise, his ears are tuned in so he can only hear the women of the world screaming his name.

 

COLE

In which case, it's a wonder he hasn't gone deaf, but that's a matter for another time.

 

Rodez removes his fancy robe and passes it to the outside with great care. Across the ring, Cortez takes similar care in removing the gold chain and crucifix around his neck, kissing the symbol before handing it to the outside. The props and attire seem to have been taken care of and now we're left with just Cortez and Rodez, who incidentally wears a new black singlet (no straps, the upper-half is more of a basketball jersey shape, only tighter) with purple trim and design for this special occassion. Cortez squats in the corner and limbers up a little, eyes locked on Leon as he tests the ropes, trying to re-acquaint himself with the ring he's been unable to compete in in the past five months.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

A small cheer goes up simply for the bell, Rodez and Cortez both leaving their corners and circling determinedly.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

But the striking up of the chants stops them from locking up. Instead the two men exchange words in the centre of the ring, mainly on Leon's end with Cortez being a man of so few. The point seems to get across though, as Charles Robinson signals for the two men to 'fight' in an effort to look like he's making a contribution. All in due course. Rodez and Cortez finally finish their 'discussion' and all of a sudden lunge at each other, into a tight collar and elbow tie-up. Jockeying for position, the tightly contested lock-up takes both men into the corner, Rodez backed in to the turnbuckles and Cortez breaking the hold. Straight away Rodez places a hand on the back of his neck and grimaces a little, which seems to quieten the crowd a little.

 

COACH

I don't care what Rodez says about being this 'nice guy' and whatever else. Cortez tried to break his neck, there's no way he's not holding some sort of grudge and some pent up anger.

 

COLE

That seemed like a pretty heated lock-up, certainly.

 

Cautiously Leon comes out of the corner. It's clear Cortez has spotted the bullseye on Leon's neck, if he hadn't already targetted it before the match for some reason. And he looks for another lock-up... but Leon ducks behind...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and chops Cortez across the chest as he turns around!

 

COLE

And that was a pretty heated chop too!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and a second chop! Cortez manages to absorb that one after the surprise value of the first and goes to the gut with a knee, doubling Rodez up and cutting off any momentum he had been building. Following the knee, Cortez fires a hard kick into the thigh which sends Leon hobbling across the ring. Cortez is right on his heels and follows him into the ropes, looking for an irish whip to send Rodez hurtling across the ring, but instead it's Cortez going for the ride. Leapfrog by Rodez and Cortez is left to bounce off the ropes again, Leon dropping down this time. That forces Todd up and over and he's having enough trouble avoiding all the obstacles at the moment, without coming off the ropes for the third time right into a Standing Dropkick!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

 

First cover of the match...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

...and just a one count.

 

COLE

Looks like Leon has lost none of his speed and technique in his five month absence from the ring.

 

COACH

One dropkick. That's all.

 

COLE

Yes, but still.

 

Leon keeps the pressure on with another irish whip. This time though, Cortez is a step ahead and comes to a screeching halt after the leapfrog from The Silky Smooth One, catching him on his descent in a waistlock. Fighting the suplex, Leon twists and turns, trying to squirm out of Todd's grip. But Cortez stands firm, so Rodez tries another strategy and runs at the ropes, ducking his head and the last second and causing Cortez to go crashing out to the floor!

 

COLE

Nice leverage move by Rodez!

 

COACH

And at just the right time. If Cortez got that suplex off, we'd have seen just how fully healed Rodez's neck really is, because he would have come down right on top of it.

 

Pulling himself up on the ring apron, the shaken Urban Legend tries to pull himself back into the ring. However, he doesn't reckon on Rodez waiting on him, dropkicking Todd through the ropes and putting him back out to ringside. This time at least Cortez lands on his feet though, looking up just in time to spot Rodez propelling himself up and over the top with a pescado...

 

 

 

...and even though Todd sidesteps at the very last second, Leon lands on his feet!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

And he then rattles Cortez with a chop before he's able to react to his opponent's cat-like agility! Cortez stumbles back a step and takes that as a perfect excuse to keep on retreating. Not letting up, Rodez follows right after him...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...connecting with another knifedge chop! This time Cortez simply doubles over, presenting the perfect target for Rodez to rain down with a Bionic Elbow across the crown of the head.

 

COLE

Okay, that was a little unorthodox.

 

With The Urban Legend seemingly dazed, Rodez now rolls him back into the ring, stopping briefly to adjust his kneebrace. Rodez then climbs back to the apron, presumably for some sort of springboard move. However, he underestimates Cortez who had been playing possum. With a quick spin on the canvas more suited to breakdancing than wrestling, Cortez sweeps Leon's legs out from underneath him on the apron, causing him to spill head over heels, BUMPING off the apron on his way down to the ringside pads!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Oh man! That was not a pretty landing.

 

COACH

Gee, you sure brought your A-game to AngleMania, huh Mikey?

 

The irony of the fact Leon landing on his head on the apron was what injured him in the first place is not lost on referee Charles Robinson, who jumps through the ropes to check on Leon at ringside. Cortez exits the ring too. But it's definately not to check on anyone's condition. Shoving Robinson out of the way, Cortez hauls Rodez deadweight and dumps him across the ring apron before rolling him into the ring, despite protests from the referee.

 

"ASS - HOLE!"

"ASS - HOLE!"

"ASS - HOLE!"

"ASS - HOLE!"

 

COLE

The fans get on Cortez's back here, but the fact of the matter is, he's simply doing what it takes to win the match. You can't really blame him in this situation.

 

COACH

Not a bit. He pulled out an impressive move there and he's inadvertantly done damage to the neck... let's face it, that wasn't premeditated. He's well within his rights to keep the attack going.

 

COLE

That isn't how this Skydome crowd sees it however.

 

COACH

Yeah well, they're bias.

 

Cortez, having stopped to eyeball some of the vocal members of the crowd, rolls back into the ring and stares down at Rodez. He could probably go for the pin now. But, just to be sure, he drops the point of his elbow down across the back of The Silky Smooth One's head! And a second time! Satisfied, he then turns Leon over and hooks the leg...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

Not yet. Leon didn't come to AngleMania to lose without putting up a fight.

 

COACH

And it's that mindset that could leave him right back on the shelf if he continues to let his pride rule his head.

 

Cortez walks around Rodez again as The Silky Smooth One labours to pull himself up with the use of the ring ropes. A nonchalant nudge in the BUTT with his boot puts Rodez throat-first over the middle rope, Cortez placing his knee across the back of the head and choking him across the rope!

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FI..."

 

Breaking on five, Cortez backs up on the orders of Robinson. However, as soon as the referee turns back around, Todd nips past him and places the knee right back in the illegal position!

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FI..."

 

Another break just in time.

 

COLE

Now, this isn't 'well within Cortez's rights'. That's an illegal move and one he doesn't have to take at this point in the match especially.

 

COACH

Quicker this way.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

Sensing problems, the crowd try to get behind Leon in an attempt to feed some adrenaline into him. Which doesn't seem to be working, in the face of Cortez pulling Leon up on the ropes and rattling him with a European Uppercut! Rodez's arms hang over the top rope and he leaves his midsection wide open for a hard kick. But it's the neck Todd wants to go after though as he snapmares Leon out of the ropes...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...and lands a dropkick to the back of the head!

 

"OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Cover by Cortez...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

Sitting Leon up, Cortez presses the head forward as he climbs to his feet, adding an extra level of discomfort even before he drops his knee into the middle of the spine! Clamping on a chinlock Cortez then pulls back with the knee still firmly in the back, causing muffled moans and groans to start coming from behind his hands!

 

COACH

Cortez slowing things down and picking Rodez apart piece by piece. You asked if he was going to come for a match or to cause injury, but there's no reason why he couldn't do both.

 

COLE

No, there isn't. Especially if Leon has come back too early.

 

Trapped in the rear chinlock, Rodez tries to draw on the crowd's support, balling up his fists. Another wrench on the neck puts pay to that though, so Leon has to try another tactic, reaching up and attempting to prise Cortez's fingers apart and break the chinlock. Despite Todd's best efforts, fingers are brittle body-parts. And as his fingers bend back towards his wrist he can't do anything to prevent it, Rodez breaking the chinlock!

 

"YYEEEEEE..."

 

...but the crowd's joy is short lived, as Cortez instantly pulls his hands out of Leon's and applies a Dragon Sleeper!!

 

COLE

Oh no, he could put him in the Street Dreams out of this position! From one evil to another!

 

Cortez gets a grip of Rodez's singlet with his free hand and tries to arch him up to his feet, in order to take him back down. Refusing to go, Leon pins himself down to the canvas and makes himself as hard to lift as possible. Cortez continues to hang onto the inverted front facelock though. So, Leon reaches up and pulls Cortez's head down into striking range...

 

 

*THUD!*

 

...KNEEING CORTEZ IN THE HEAD!!

 

 

*THUD!*

 

...AND AGAIN! HARD! Cortez falls back onto his ass and looks vacantly off in front of him as Rodez rolls quickly to the corner before he can fall into another hold.

 

COLE

Some desperation shots there, but they did their job, Cortez fended off...

 

COACH

For now.

 

As Leon pulls himself up in the corner, Cortez does the same in the middle of the ring. It's clear Cortez is unsteady on his though. And is it any wonder? As Cortez stands, a trickle of blood begins to creep from just above his hairline, dropping back down to one knee as referee Robinson is alerted by the cut and checks Todd can continue. Meanwhile Rodez continues to nurse his neck, but sees an opening and drags himself out of the corner. Moving Robinson out of the way Rodez tries to pick Cortez back up. Which is when instinct kicks in for The Urban Legend, hoisting Leon up over his shoulder and sitting out with the Spinebuster!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHOULDER UP!

 

Rolling away, the blood is beginning to grow more noticeably now as the front of Cortez's hair begins to mat up a little. Needing the ropes for aid just like his opponent, Cortez presses his hand to his forehead, notices the blood. And scowls.

 

COLE

It didn't take long for casualties in this match. Rodez's neck was a given I suppose, but Todd Cortez is now busted open here in the opening minutes.

 

COACH

Well, Rodez is wearing a metal brace on his knee. You get hit with metal, you're gonna bleed. Maybe that's why Rodez wears it.

 

COLE

It's a medically prescribed kneebrace Coach.

 

COACH

He was also given medical clearance to compete with an injured neck. Who does Leon go to exactly, The Love Doctors?

 

Cortez stumbles across the ring and peels Rodez off the canvas again. Still he looks a little woozy. But the sight of your own blood can be quite the motivator and it seems to be motivating Cortez, as he SMASHES Rodez with a European Uppercut! Rodez falls backwards, unable to control himself. However Leon hits the ring ropes and they bounce him right back, giving him a chance to respond with another Bionic Elbow! This time, it lands right on the cut on Cortez's head and does more damage to The Urban Legend's equilibrium than the last. Which prompts Leon to come off the ropes again, this time of his own accord. Shooting back, Leon lunges with a clothesline. Cortez manages to duck underneath however, Rodez throwing his neck again from the effort of the clothesline attempt alone. And as he turns around, his neck is further thrown around, courtesy of a swift STO takedown by Cortez that causes the back of Leon's head to bounce off the canvas!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Not done with the STO alone, Cortez positions himself at Leon's side and takes a moment to clear his head. Looking out into the vast Skydome crowd he then backflips, executing an impressive Standing Moonsault...

 

 

...AND TAKING THE KNEES TO THE GUT!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

Rodez got the knees up!

 

Both men crawl back to their feet and again go back to throwing bombs. Rodez strikes first with a Bionic Elbow, Cortez retaliating with another kick to the thigh muscle. Shaking off the kick, Rodez does a sudden 360, bringing the flat of his foot around and into the gut with a Rolling Sole BUTT, delivered with perfection right into The Urban Legend's stomach. With Cortez double over, Leon then ducks low and grabs him around the waist, looking for an Exploder Suplex. A swift elbow to the back of the neck fends him off though. Rodez falls to one knee and grabs at his neck, while Cortez visibly shakes the cobwebs out of his head before pulling Leon forward into a standing headscissors!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Oh no.

 

COACH

He's going for it!

 

Horrow fills the air from the crowd as Cortez pumps his arms, giving the signal for the Riot Act Plus! However, the element of surprise is gone and having been in this position before, with five months to dwell on it's results, Leon has little problem finding a counter. He trips out the legs and cradles them, attempting to turn Cortez over into a Boston Crab. Kicking his feet, Cortez manages to block that though and eventually kicks out, pushing Leon away. The Grand Rapids Golden Child stumbles back into a corner and Cortez follows him in, diving at his opponent...

 

 

 

...but MISSING the splash! Cortez bounces off the turnbuckles chest first, Rodez continuing on out of the corner and hitting the ropes on the far side. As he runs back though, Cortez has turned on his heels and is running straight at him, head down, full speed...

 

 

 

 

...HOLLOW PPOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIINNTT~!~!

 

COACH

Period.

 

The Pounce-like tackle sends Rodez flying, but Cortez stays down after his surge of energy too. And with both men down, referee Charles Robinson lays the count on.

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

COLE

These two men have taken a lot out of each other in a short amount of time here.

 

"FIVE!"

"SIX!"

 

COACH

It was always gonna happen like this Mikey, it was too personal not too.

 

"SEVEN!"

"E.."

 

Right as Robinson begins to reach eight, Cortez shows signs of movement by crawling across the canvas. And he makes it over to Rodez, slumping across The Silky Smooth One with the cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Rolling over, Cortez keeps on going until he's outside of the ring on the apron. There he drags himself up on the ropes, waiting now as Rodez begins to stir.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

The Canadian fans in Skydome again try to turn themselves into proverbial twelfth men as Leon climbs slowly from the canvas. Cortez continues to stalk him from the apron, encouraging him to climb a little faster in his impatience. As soon as Leon gets to his feet, Cortez then vaults to the top and springboards in with a clothesline...

 

 

 

...DUCKED...

 

 

 

...but The Urban Legend gets his feet underneath him in time to save himself! Running himself to a stop, Cortez jogs back and catches Rodez right as he turns around, lifting him up and jarring him across the knee with the Crotch-Droppah! And as a shriek goes through the crowd, Cortez executes the inverted atomic drop a second time.

 

COLE

And every woman in Toronto weeps.

 

COACH

Don't worry, Da Coach is prepared to go overtime!

 

COLEH

I thought that was a limit to how many times you could get Viagra prescribed?

 

Rodez stands bent double in the centre of the ring, a sitting target as Cortez hits the ropes. The speed he returns would indicate that Cortez is preparing to hit another Hollow Point. However, whatever he was planning doesn't come about, a sidestep and a shove in the back forcing him to continue off into the opposite ropes. Cortez keeps his foot on the accellerator as he hits the ropes again. As Todd comes back though, Rodez suddenly tumbles and executes a desperation Rolling Clothesline (ala Konnan) to intercept The Urban Legend!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

A little bit of Shack Attack action for ya! And I think Leon has found a second wind!!

 

Indeed, rather than stay down his opponent, Rodez is actually right back up. And with the adrenaline pumping, fists clenched, Rodez climbs to his feet with wide eyes as he looks out through Skydome.

 

 

RODEZ

BABYFACE FIIIIIRREEE~!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

OH YEAH!

 

COACH

Who says kayfabe is dead? *rolls eyes*

 

Cortez climbs to his feet, doing a dis-orientated 360 right the way around into a jab!

 

A jab!

 

 

A jab!

 

 

 

A jab!

 

 

Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...and nailing Cortez upside the head with the enziguri!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!

 

Cradling his neck on one side Rodez watches as Cortez falls, into the ropes. The top rope bounces Cortez back and it takes merely a shove in the back to force Todd down onto the middle rope throat-first. The crowd know what's coming next, as Rodez summons up the strength to do THE JIG~! before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving the weight into the spine!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES! Leon Rodez pulling out all the old favourites at AngleMania and this crowd is eating it up!

 

COACH

That's what happens when you feed sheep.

 

Cortez staggers off the ropes and falls into Rodez, who quickly scoops him up for a back suplex. And he still has the strength to turn 180 degrees, before sitting out with the Blue Thunder Bomb!

 

COLE

It's Da Boom!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

But it's not three!

 

Adrenaline beginning to fade, Rodez remains sat and nurses at his neck while Cortez rolls wearily away. The cut on his hairline seems to have stopped flowing now but Cortez is still dis-orientated as he tries to climb back up. Rodez beats him to his feet and looks to pull Cortez the rest of the way up...

 

 

 

 

 

...AND TAKES A LOWBLOWii

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COLE

Downstairs goes Cortez! And the referee didn't see it.

 

Rodez doubles over, Robinson smart enough to put two and two together but unwilling to call a disqualification without having seen what happened. Reaching up, Cortez does a quick hop and lands a Jawbreaker before climbing fully to his feet, which again jars The Silky Smooth One's neck up. Away staggers Rodez, as Cortez climbs back up and then follows up...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...WITH A SUPERKICK!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COACH

Oh he got him flush!

 

COLE

Right on the BUTT of the jaw and Leon's head flew back on impact, whiplashing his neck for good measure!

 

Down goes Leon, as Cortez drops and hooks the leg...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3-

NO!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Cortez sits up and curses under his breath as the crowd have their sense of hope renewed after that kickout.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

COLE

And this crowd sound out once more, but it may be too late. Cortez is looking to end it right here it looks like.

 

Instead of pulling Rodez to his feet however, Cortez instead starts to roll Rodez. Roll and roll, until he puts him underneath the bottom rope, stomping him in the back of the head to keep him from rolling off the apron and to ringside. Cortez then climbs through the ropes. Also on the apron.

 

Déja vú?

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COLE

Oh no, he wouldn't!

 

COACH

Of course he would! He did it before, he's gonna do it again and try to do an even better job of it!

 

Cortez reaches down and grabs Rodez's singlet, using it to start pulling him up on the apron. Referee Robinson vainly tries to convince Todd not to do what he's thinking of doing, but the odds of him listening to that are slim at best. Cortez has bad intentions and he plans on making good on them. Getting Rodez into a standing headscissors, Cortez wraps the arms around the waist. And with a glaring look on his face, Cortez sets and looks for the Riot Act Plu...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...NO! Rodez stands upright and backdrops Cortez up and over into the ring!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

Thank God for that! Cortez tried to put Rodez out again, at least this time Leon was well prepared for it however.

 

As Todd rolls through, Rodez thanks his lucky stars as he ducks back in through the ropes...

 

 

 

...but in a flash, Cortez is on him, pulling him in into the standing headscissors again!

 

COACH

Leon's luck just ran out!

 

As soon as Leon is in and enough space has been created, Cortez then leaps...

 

 

 

 

...frontflipping...

 

 

 

 

...NO, CAUGHT!!

 

"YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

Rodez takes a step forward into the move, catching Cortez over his shoulder and leaving him hung airborne. And before Cortez can realise what's happening, Rodez drops AND PLANTS CORTEZ ON HIS HEAD!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

COLE

BELLY TO BACK PILEDRIVER!!!

 

COACH

OHHHH!!

 

COLE

A belly to back PILEDRIVER! That used to be the move of choice of Mike Van Siclen, Todd Cortez's former partner in the SWF!

 

COACH

How the hell do you know that!?

 

The crowd still seem a little stunned at the move, having expected their hero to be back in traction and instead seeing him turn the tables so dramatically. Cortez is seemingly out. But seemingly isn't going to be enough apparantly as Leon sits up and begins to drag The Urban Legend into position in a corner. Leon then ducks through the ropes and begins to scale the turnbuckles, bringing Skydome to it's feet!!

 

COLE

And now, could it be the coup de gras?

 

COACH

Is this really neccessary?

 

Reaching the top, Rodez positions himself up on the top turnbuckle. He steadies himself...

 

 

 

 

...surveys the crowd...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND COMES SOARING OFF THE TOP WITH THE 450 SPLASH!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

Now THAT'S payback!!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner... LLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOONN RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Leon's hand is raised in victory, as he pushes to his knees, looking down at Cortez with a smile. It's hard to hear what he's saying, over the sounds of "Mama Said Knock You Out" and the roaring crowd. But the message seems to be clear. That was payback.

 

 

Leon climbs to his feet and salutes the crowd, even with his injured neck, smiling through the pain as his hand is raised once more by referee Robinson.

 

COLE

Leon Rodez has returned and returned with a victory! He came back to the OAOAST, he came to AngleMania and even after five months on the shelf, The Silky Smooth One gained his retribution here tonight!

 

The celebrations continue on, but in the interests of saving time, we cut to...

[Tony149 0]

The lights go out in the arena, and a spotlight shines on the Heartland title belt, causing the crowd to go crazy.

 

COACH

This is it, Cole!

 

 

COLE

And it's time for the Heartland title to be on the line! Thunderkid defends against Alfdogg in a barbed-wire ladder match! Let's go to Michael Buffer!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, it is now time for one of the most anticipated matches of the evening! Tonight, two of the toughest stars in all of the wrestling world, will do battle in a barbed-wire ladder match...for the OAOAST Heartland championship! ARE YOU READY?

 

*crowd cheers*

 

BUFFER

Toronto, Ontario, Canada...ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYYYYYYYYYOUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???

 

*crowd cheers louder*

 

BUFFER

Then for the thousands in attendance here in the SkyDome (I know it's got a different name now, but fuck them), And the millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEE

 

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

 

Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg is showered with boos as he walks through the curtains.

 

COLE

Quite a different reaction compared to earlier in the night for the challenger, Alfdogg!

 

BUFFER

Making his way to the ring is the challenger, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former two-time OAOAST World champion, and a three-time Heartland champion...ALFDOGG!!!!!

 

Alf walks slowly to the ring, and climbs inside. He poses on the buckles, drawing boos. He hops down, as God of Thunder plays and Thunderkid makes his way to the ring to a big pop.

 

BUFFER

His opponent...hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, and weighing in at 250 pounds...he is the reigning and defending OAOAST Heartland champion...THUNDERKID!!!!!

 

TK stops at the ladder in the middle of the aisle, looks at it, then looks back at Alf. He then looks back to the entryway, and waves.

 

COLE

Who's he calling for?

 

The camera zooms in on the entryway, where Ken Pantera walks out on his crutches!

 

COACH

WHAT?

 

COLE

Look at this! Apparently Ken Pantera will be joining TK in his corner for this match!

 

COACH

He's out of his mind coming out here in his condition, Cole!

 

TK waits for Pantera to get to him, then pats him on the back, before turning and charging the ring.

 

COLE

Here we go!

 

TK slides in, and is pounced by Alf!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Alf hammers on TK on the mat, but TK is able to fight through it and get to his feet, then starts firing back! Alf and TK trade blows, with TK getting the better of the exchange until Alf thumbs him in the eye. Alf then goes for an Irish whip, but TK reverses, then drops down, then leapfrogs, and catches Alf in a PRESS SLAM~!

 

COLE

And look at the power of TK!

 

TK slams Alf down to the mat, then starts delivering right hands. He whips Alf to the ropes. Alf ducks a clothesline, then ducks a second clothesline, then catches TK with his head down and executes a swinging neckbreaker!

 

COLE

But Alf comes right back!

 

COACH

Well, I think you'll see a lot of back-and-forth action here early on!

 

Alf stomps TK a couple times, then takes him to the corner and attempts to ram him into the buckle. However, TK blocks, and Alf tastes it!

 

COACH

See, I told you!

 

TK backs into the ropes, and takes Alf down with a clothesline! TK then backs into the ropes again, but Alf drops down, then catches TK with his momentum and tosses him out to the floor!

 

COLE

And a nice move by Alf, using TK's momentum against him and sending him to the floor!

 

Alf catches his breath for a second, then follows TK to the outside. He goes over to the announcer's table and grabs a chair.

 

COACH

Watch out, Cole, he's right over here by us!

 

COLE

And he's got a chair!

 

Alf raises the chair over his head, and brings it down across the back of TK!

 

COLE

And TK takes it across the back!

 

Alf raises the chair in the air, drawing boos. He then waits for TK to get to his feet, then lifts the chair overhead again, and brings it down...but TK moves out of the way and Alf slams the chair into the ringpost! Alf drops the chair and shakes his hands around, then turns into a right hand from TK! TK rams Alf face-first into the apron, then rolls him back into the ring. TK grabs the chair and slides back in, and brings it down across Alf's back!

 

COLE

And now it's Alf tasting the chair!

 

TK brings it down one more time, and Alf rolls out of the ring to the floor! TK follows, stomping away at Alf, before LIFTING THE PROTECTIVE MATS~!

 

COACH

Oh, no! Come on, ref!

 

COLE

No DQ's in this match!

 

TK picks up Alf, and hooks him in a front facelock!

 

COACH

Oh, no!

 

COLE

...well, this may be going a little far!

 

COACH

You're not kidding!

 

COLE

Come on, TK, don't do it!

 

TK starts to pick Alf up, but Alf blocks!

 

COACH

NONONO!

 

Alf blocks another attempt, then drops to one knee and delivers a low blow!

 

COLE

And Alf with a low blow!

 

Alf then hooks TK, and suplexes him on the concrete!

 

COLE

And TK smacks off of the exposed concrete!

 

Alf rolls back into the ring and catches his breath, then rolls out the other side and makes his way towards the ladder.

 

COLE

And now Alf's going for the ladder!

 

COACH

But he's also giving TK time to recover!

 

Alf grabs the ladder and drags it towards the ring, but TK has rolled back into the ring, and he rolls out the other side and delivers a foot to the gut!

 

COLE

But TK comes right back again!

 

TK rams Alf's face into the steps and rolls him back into the ring, then he grabs the ladder and sets it on the apron. However, as he climbs onto the apron, Alf backs into the ropes, and hits the ladder with a baseball slide, sending it into the gut of TK!

 

COLE

Oh, and the ladder wrapped in barbed wire sent right into the midsection of TK!

 

TK holds his midsection as Alf rolls out to the floor, then grabs him and rams his face into the steps! Alf then rolls him back into the ring and slides the ladder inside before rolling in.

 

COLE

And now it's Alfdogg taking over, looking for his fourth reign as Heartland champion!

 

Alf picks up the ladder, and waits for TK to get to his feet. He charges TK, ramming the top of the ladder into his face!

 

COACH

And using the ladder to his advantage!

 

Alf then lays the ladder over TK, and grabs the chair.

 

COLE

And what's Alf going for here?

 

The camera focuses on Ken Pantera, then cuts back to the ring as Alf runs toward TK and performs a senton splash, sticking the chair underneath him in mid-air!

 

COLE

And Ken Pantera looking ON, as Alf continues to deliver the punishment!

 

Alf gets to his feet, and poses for the crowd, drawing boos.

 

COLE

And the Canadian crowd letting Alf know how they feel!

 

Alf picks up TK, and executes the SULPHUR SPRINGS SLAM~!!!, then sets up the ladder.

 

COACH

And Alf's going for the belt!

 

Alf climbs the ladder and starts to reach for the belt, but TK gets to his feet and grabs him from behind! However, Alf is able to kick him away, and then turns around on the ladder and drops a big leg on TK!

 

COLE

And Alf flying through the air, and a beautiful legdrop!

 

Alf then tries to go up again, but TK once again thwarts his attempt, this time shoving the ladder over, causing Alf to land stomach-first on the top rope, and bounce over to the floor!

 

COACH

Oh no!

 

COLE

And a nasty fall for Alf, all the way to the floor!

 

Both men are out for some time, then TK recovers and goes out after Alf. He tosses Alf back inside, and then reaches under the ring and grabs a table!

 

COLE

And now the tables being brought into play!

 

TK slides the table into the ring, and starts to set it up, but Alf attacks from behind, ramming his head into it. He then whips TK to the ropes. TK ducks a clothesline, then both men clothesline each other!

 

COLE

And both men down on the mat!

 

Both men lay for a few more seconds, then Alf gets to his feet and sets the ladder up in the corner. He picks up TK and attempts an Irish whip, but TK reverses, sending Alf into the ladder!

 

COACH

No!

 

COLE

And Alf tastes the barbed wire! And I believe he's been busted open!

 

Alf lays on the mat, and indeed the blood is flowing. TK picks up the ladder, then waits for Alf to get to his feet. He rams it into his midsection, causing Alf to roll out of the ring. TK then sets the ladder over the top rope, and follows Alf out. He hooks Alf's legs...

 

COACH

Oh, no!

 

TK executes a slingshot, sending Alf into the ladder once again!

 

COLE

And Alf again sent into the ladder!

 

TK then slides the ladder back into the ring, and sets it up, then starts to climb!

 

COLE

And now it's TK looking to retain!

 

As TK reaches for the belt, Alf is able to crawl his way to the top rope, and flies across the ring with a MISSILE DROPKICK~!, which knocks TK backwards off the ladder and THROUGH THE TABLE~!

 

COACH

WHOA!

 

COLE

And TK through the table, as a result of that beautiful dropkick!

 

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT!

 

HO-LY SHIT!

 

HO-LY SHIT!

 

HO-LY SHIT!

 

Both men are out once again, but Alf makes it to his feet first, and then sets up the ladder as TK pulls his way to his feet. As TK does this, Alf hits him with a SUPERKICK~!

 

COLE

And a great kick by Alf!

 

Alf picks up TK, and delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY~!, then follows up with a T-BONE~!

 

COACH

And Alf's getting him ready now!

 

Alf climbs the ladder, but as he starts to reach for the belt, he looks down on TK on the mat.

 

COLE

What's Alf doing here?

 

Alf then climbs up and stands on the very top rung.

 

COACH

Oh, this will definitely do it if he hits this!

 

Alf gets his balance, then taunts the crowd before flying off for the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111...but TK rolls out of the way!

 

COLE

But nobody home!

 

TK gets to his feet and grabs the steel chair, then brings it down on Alf's head!

 

COLE

STEEL MEETS SKULL~!

 

TK makes his way over to the ladder and starts climbing!

 

COLE

And TK going for the gold!

 

TK sees Alf starting to get to his feet, so he jumps down and folds the ladder up. However, as he approaches Alf, Alf picks up the chair and slams it into the ladder, which then goes into TK's face and knocks him into the mat!

 

COACH

And now TK's bleeding!

 

Alf drags the ladder to the center of the ring and lays it down, then picks up TK. He hooks him, and lifts him for a vertical suplex, then drops him on the ladder!

 

COLE

And TK down onto the ladder once again!

 

Alf picks up TK and tosses him to the outside, then exits on the opposite side and starts setting up tables.

 

COLE

And what could Alf be planning here?

 

Alf sets up one table, then sets up another on top of it. After he does this, he turns and catches Ken Pantera's crutch which is being swung at him!

 

COACH

Look at this!

 

Alf shoves Pantera to the floor!

 

COLE

Come on!

 

Alf slides back into the ring and sets up the ladder, then starts climbing it. Pantera crawls around the ring as TK starts to come to, and slides inside.

 

COACH

What the hell is this guy's problem?

 

Just as Alf gets to the top, Pantera makes his way over and shoves the ladder over with one of his crutches, causing Alf to fall over the ropes and THROUGH THE TWO TABLES~!

 

COACH

Come ON!

 

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT!

 

HO-LY SHIT!

 

HO-LY SHIT!

 

HO-LY SHIT!

 

COLE

Alf is out of it, and here comes TK!

 

TK pulls the ladder up, then struggles his way up as Pantera leans in the corner.

 

COACH

GET UP, ALF!

 

TK finally gets to the top of the ladder...and GRABS THE BELT~!!! The crowd goes crazy!

 

COACH

NO!

 

COLE

THAT'S IT!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...THUNDERKID!!!!!

 

COLE

And TK has retained the Heartland title!

 

COACH

Yeah, thanks to Ken Pantera! TK and Pantera won the first-ever handicap ladder match!

 

COLE

Well, there are no disqualifications in the match, so it was all legal!

 

The camera focuses on Alf, who is just starting to stir in the table wreckage.

 

COLE

And what is next for Alfdogg? Where does he go from here?

 

TK holds Pantera up, as Pantera raises his arm with the belt.

 

COLE

Whatever happens, there is the final story of this match, TK is STILL the Heartland champion!

 

School's out forever

School's out for summer

School's out with fever

School's out completely

 

SCHOOL'S OUT

 

MAY 27th

 

LIVE! ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!

Edited April 3, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

 

BUFFER

The following contest, here at AngleMania VI, is scheduled for one fall and is co-sanctioned by HI-YAH Promotions and the OAOAST. And, it is for the HI-YAH WORLD Tag Team Championships, to be contested under HI-YAH Rules. A 20 count will be observed at ringside and throwing an opponent over the top rope will be deemed an automatic disqualification. In the event of the champions being disqualified, the titles will change hands!

 

With the formalaties out of the way, we turn our attentions to the aisleway. Already the ring cart is halfway down the aisle and the fans behind are already booing. It takes the cueing of "Call Me" by Blondie and the spotlight shining down on the cart to alert the rest of the crowd though, to the entrance of the challengers. Leaning over the ropes of the cart, Ned verbally chews out a fan with a large 'Mackenzie De Cenzo = Casting Couch' sign. Simon takes in the massive crowd through his hand-screen, while Mackenzie sits at the back of the cart in his director's chair (as if the cart wasn't a tight enough squeeze for three people to ride in to begin with!) in a regal royal blue evening gown for the event.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, on the way to the ring the challengers! Being accompanied by their manager, MACKENZIE DECENZO... at a total combined weight of four hundred and sixty pounds. They are the former three time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions and the former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. Representing THE ENTERPRISE... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVEEEERRRRLLLYYY HHHIIIIIILLLSSS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

"Call me (call me) on the line

Call me, call me any, anytime

CALL ME! (call me)"

 

As the ring cart eventually comes to a stop at ringside, The Blonds open up the ropes to help Mackenzie out. Less gentlemanly are their orders to the ring attendant to bring Mackenzie's director's chair with them as they march up the steps and into the ring.

 

COLE

AngleMania, a truly international event and we're set for a match with international ramifications here. D*LUX to defend their HI-YAH Tag Team Championships against these gentlemen, a term I use rather loosely, The Beverly Hills Blonds. Two teams with plenty of history, no question about that. The Blonds and D*LUX have traded the HI-YAH Tag Titles in the past and in the process struck up a heated rivalry. But, that was back in April last year. Apparantly, this time, it's just 'competition'.

 

COACH

Exactly. Ned and Simon are competitive fellows and sure, there were some 'mis-understandings' before.

 

COLE

Mis-understandings!? Oh, please! I don't quite understand what Ned's angle is or was in getting Jade Rodez to make this match the way he did, but something is certainly up. When Ned is acting like a civilised human being rather than a sleazy pervert, something must be up.

 

COACH

Ease up, wouldya! You saw it yourself, Jade had time to sit down and talk with Ned, shoot the breeze as it were. It's all been cleared up now. And now Jade and D*LUX know what kind of human beings Ned and Simon really are, there's no need for any personal grudges.

 

The Blonds talk strategy as the ring cart returns. This time, greeted much more warmly.

 

 

"JUST ONE ON ONE

THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!

JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!

 

JUST ONE ON ONE

THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!

JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!"

 

In the cart stand D*LUX, decked out in a much more traditional colour of denim, black, than their usual attires. The duo carry their HI-YAH Tag Team Championships over their shoulders as the ring cart carries them ringwards, reaching out and tagging a few hands, those they can reach. However, what is odd about the scene is that the cart seems rather roomy. Two occupants, not three. No Jade Rodez leading the team.

 

BUFFER

And introducing their opponents! At a total combined weight of three hundred and eighty eight pounds. They are the current, reigning and defending, three-time HI-YAH TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER, "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

D*LUX exit the cart and do a quick tour of ringside for some more hand slapping. The Beverly Hills Blonds watch on but neglect to do anything to stop the HI-YAH Champions as they leap into the ring, all fired up to be in their first official AngleMania match. Surprisingly Ned and Simon seem pretty accomodating and watch on as D*LUX remove of their belts and ring jackets.

 

COLE

D*LUX have come a long way in the last year and now, they're on the biggest stage of them all, defending those HI-YAH Tag Team Championships which they have held an impressive three times now. They've taken on all comers as championships, admirably. But I'm sure they'd hope to have seen the last of The Blonds long ago.

 

COACH

Yeah, because it means they're that much closer to reign number four.

 

COLE

That's not what I meant.

 

COACH

It was, admit it.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

The bell sounds and after a brief conference, it's decided that Ned will start for the challengers. D*LUX seem a little... well, different, without Jade Rodez at their side. But they try to take it all in their stride and Tyler adopts himself as the leader of the team.

 

"D - LUX!"

"D - LUX!"

"D - LUX!"

"D - LUX!"

 

Surprisingly Ned acknowledges the chants, pointing them out to Tyler. As Tyler looks at Ned a little unsurely, The Handsome Hustler then actually extends his hand looking for a handshake! Shayne immediately yells at Tyler not to fool for it, which annoys the honourable Blanchard (honest) a little, crossing his heart and hoping to die as he offers again.

 

COACH

See! It's all about competition, no hard feelings.

 

COLE

Yeah right...

 

Right on cue, as Tyler naively accepts the handshake, Ned throws a boot... BUT GETS CAUGHT!

 

COLE

...Ned Blanchard, fooling absolutely nobody with that tactic!

 

Ned begs for mercy as he's left hopping on one foot by "Tremendous" Tyler, even going so far as to offer the handshake again. Not that much of a mug, Tyler quickly spins Ned around by the foot and drops him with an Atomic Drop, to the horror of Mackenzie and Simon! Ned goes stumbling forward... and into a right hand by Shayne from the apron!

 

Right hand from Tyler!

 

Right hand from Shayne!

 

Right hand from Tyler and down goes Ned!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Quick tag by D*LUX, setting up a double team as the champions collectively whip Ned across the ring and into the ropes. Simon stretches down the apron and gets a blind tag, acknowledged by referee Nick Patrick as Ned is meanwhile taken up HIGH towards the top of the Skydome with a double BAAAACKbody Drop! Out of the ring scurries Ned as Simon stalks behind D*LUX for a second, waiting for them to turn around before striking from behind. However, D*LUX spot him coming out of the corners of their eye and duck the double clothesline. With an arm and a leg each, they then hoist Simon up and bring him DOWN across the knees with the Double Gutbuster!!

 

COLE

The Cowell Movement!

 

Seeing his partner in peril Ned quickly rolls back into the ring, catching Shayne Brave from the blindside with a double sledge. Ned follows Shayne into the corner, but before he can strike again Tyler wheels him around and boots him in the gut. A quick vertical suplex takes Ned out of the corner, far enough that Shayne can risk lifting himself up to the top rope. It's all going horribly wrong for The Blonds right now as Ned and Simon climb back up, to be confronted by Tyler rocket launching Shayne off the top. Ned has the presence of mind to duck the Larger Than Life Line...

 

 

...but Simon doesn't, getting clotheslined down...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...AS TYLER CATCHES NED WITH A SUPERKICK!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Things are NOT going The Blonds' way.

 

COACH

That's okay, call a retake.

 

Back out of the ring rolls Ned, holding his jaw as he falls into Mackenzie's arms. Soon Simon joins him as D*LUX clothesline him up and over the top, The Blonds regrouping on the outside. And Ned takes an executive decision to end the shoot for the night, throwing his hands up in despair and marching right past the ring cart down the aisle. Simon and Mackenzie follow right after him, much to the confusion of the champions.

 

COLE

I don't think they're calling a retake Coach. It looks like The Blonds are leaving! They came all the way to Skydome and they're leaving already!?

 

COACH

I'm as confused as you are.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The Blonds continue on down the aisle with no signs of turning back, leaving referee Nick Patrick no choice but to count them out. With a 20 count to get to, he's got quite a way to go. But as The Blonds continue walking he picks the count up a little, figuring there's little point in delaying the inevitable.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winners as a result of a count-out... and STILL HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions... D*LLLLUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXX!!!

 

A muted celebration goes up through the crowd, an equally muted celebration by the Champs who seem more eager to ask questions about what just happened. Patrick doesn't know what to tell them as Shayne and Tyler are handed their title belts, without fanfare. The reason being, instead of music, the arena is filled with the more ambient sounds of a parking lot. Up on the large AngleTron at the top of the entrance, the parking lot itself appears but nothing else, which is a little odd. Until that is Theodore Moneymaker steps into shot, changed back into his 'casual' clothes (if you can call them that) after his match earlier. Smiling from ear to ear, Moneymaker begins to applaud mockingly, as The Blonds and Mackenzie disappear through the curtains.

 

MONEYMAKER

Congratulations to you D*LUX, a proud victory! Now, I know what you're all thinking out there in Skydome right now... why? Why would The Beverly Hills Blonds, quite possibly the greatest tag team in wrestling history, abandon a match for the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles so quickly. Why, oh why? HAHAHAHA! Because I TOLD them to, of course! That's how this all works, people! Yes, at first, Ned and Simon were dead-set on becoming HI-YAH Tag Team Champions for a second time. Of course they were, they know they could beat you on your finest day and on their worst. But a few weeks ago, things changed. And they saw sense.

 

The crowd grow silent listening to all this, everyone watching the big screen. Especially D*LUX.

 

MONEYMAKER

You see, what you didn't realise boys is that The Enterprise had long won the battle, before we even crossed the border into this second-rate country!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

MONEYMAKER

HAHAHAHAHAHA! D*LUX, I'm sorry to say, you became pawns in our little game. I mean, we couldn't just call in and cancel now could we? See, we had to get you out there...

 

Moneymaker glances over his shoulder as The Blonds and Mackenzie appear in the parking lot, breathing heavily from their long walk/jog/run. Ned laughs in relief as he makes it to the parking lot, nodding to Moneymaker.

 

MONEYMAKER

...and I've gotta say, and I'm sure you'll agree Ned, you kids played your parts like pros. All happy go lucky, just honoured to be at AngleMania. A humble accomplishment. Humility I look down upon, because The Enterprise don't care for humble achievements. You've had your moment in the sun. But hey, don't rush anywhere just yet. We've got something to make sure your journey wasn't a completely futile one. We have a lesson for you. A lesson why little men like you will never succeed in a world occupied by Theodore Moneymaker and his Enterprise. A lesson in the power of money. Tell me, did you two nickels n' dimers not wonder why your precious little manager, the woman who guided you to any success you've ever had, neglected to show up to the arena with you tonight? (waves off screen) MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

COLE

No way...

 

The crowd, D*LUX, Michael Cole... nobody really wants to believe it. Even as Christian Wright walks into shot...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...WITH JADE RODEZ!!!!!!

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Carrying a non-descript bag no doubt containing some not quite so non-descript dollar bills, Jade's expression is hard to read as she walks in. She's not smiling but she's certainly not there against her will. It's almost... uncaring. In the ring, Tyler and Shayne look utterly stunned, jaws on the floor, as Jade stands side by side with The Enterprise. Ned is grinning from ear to ear, Simon less cheery due to that double gutbuster he took earlier.

 

MONEYMAKER

Hey, D*LUX, no hard feelings. It's just like I always say... Money Talks, Bullshit Walks! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

With Moneymaker's laugh ringing through the parking lot, The Enterprise turns their limousine which is conveniently parked ready to speed off into the sunset. The now six Enterprise members, albeit without CPA, begin to pile into the back of the limo.

 

Meanwhile, in the ring, D*LUX stand frozen. The crowd are stunned (legit stunned) like them, before Tyler and Shayne seem to wake from their trance and go sprinting off down the aisle.

 

They'll never hope to catch them though as Moneymaker holds the door open for Jade, before ducking in just in time.

 

 

"HEY! HEY, STOP!!!"

 

MONEYMAKER

DRIVE! DRIVE!

 

"JADE!!"

 

Moneymaker pats the roof of the limo and the obedient driver goes speeding off, just as LEON RODEZ comes sprinting through the parking lot. Quick on his feet, Leon is able to slap the side of the limo a couple of times as it's tyres skid into a high gear. But even as he goes running out after it, he can't hope to catch the limo and jogs to a stop, watching on with his hands on his head as The Enterprise drive off into the Toronto night.

 

COLE

...

 

COACH

Wow.

 

COLE

Uhm... wow, I don't know what to say. Let's... let's just move on.

Edited April 3, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

Back to the ring we go, to see the assembled sixteen superstars stood around the edge of the ring, ready for the penultimate match of the evening. In the middle stands Michael Buffer, noticeably wary of all the death glares being exchanged by the wrestlers around him.

 

BUFFER

The following contest if the sixteen man, over the top rope MONEY IN THE BANK BATTLE ROYAL!! Eliminations occur when a wrestler is thrown over the top and both feet hit the floor. The one man remaining after all others have been eliminated will be declared the winner and recieve a guaranteed contract for a OAOAST World Heavyweight Title shot any time in the next 12 months! Now, introducing the participants... first, from Edmonton, Alberta Canada by way of Damascus, Syria... ABDULLAH ABIR NNEEEEEERRRRDDLLLLYYYYYYYY!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

BUFFER

From Samoa... the HI-YAH World Heavyweight Champion, FFFAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUU!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

BUFFER

From 'The Collection Agency', representing The Enterprise... CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, C, P, A!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

BUFFER

Now residing in San Diego, California... SSPPAAANNIIISSSHHH FFFLLLLLLYYYYY!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

BUFFER

Representing The Lightning Crew... THE CCUUUBBAAAAAAAANN WWWWAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

BUFFER

Now residing in Miami, Florida... CCOOOLLLOOOMMBBIIIAAAAANN HHHEEEEEEEEEAAAAATT!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

BUFFER

Hailing from Thunder Bay, Ontario Canada... "AFTER HOURS" FFEEEELLLIIIXXX SSSSTTRRRRUUUUUUTTEEERRR!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

BUFFER

One third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... "THE CURRENT BIG THING"... BBRRRROOOOOCCKK AAAAAUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTIIIIIIINN!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

BUFFER

Representing the SWF... BBLLLOOOOOODDSSSSHHHHHHHEEEEEDD!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

BUFFER

From Birmingham, England... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJAAAAAMMIIIIIEEEEE O'HHHHAAAAAARRRRAAAAA!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

BUFFER

The former three-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... DAN BLACK, TONY BRANNIGAN... BBLLLAAAAAAAAAAACCKK T!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

BUFFER

Former two-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... SCOTTY STATIC and JOHNNY "JAM" JACKSON... THE GLOBAL PARTY EEEEEEXXXXXXCCHHHAAAAAAAANNGGEEEEEE!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

BUFFER

Accompanied by Megan Skye... the new SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

BUFFER

And finally, from Greenville, South Carolina... the reigning OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHEEEEEEEEMMOOOOOOOTTHHHHH!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

With the sixteen stars introduced, Buffer quickly leaves. All the belts, jackets, coats and various other accessories are passed off to the outside which is packed with ring attendants, referees and camera crew right now. In the ring, it's clear where the alliances are- Black T discussing strategy, ditto for the three Hooligans. Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat stick together too, while Landon Maddix collars Bloodshed and convinces him to stick with him.

 

COLE

So here we go, Money In The Bank Battle Royal. A lot of 'x factors' contained within this match, including the dramatic announcement yesterday on The Love Shack by Black T that if either Tony or Dan don't win tonight, Black T will pull themselves off the active roster and effectively retire themselves!

 

COACH

Well like they said, they've come up short more times than a midget pole vaulter in the past few months. They've chased the World Title without success, they lost in the Anderson Cup semi finals to Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. Tonight it's win or bust basically, and that extra motivation is why my money's on one of the two to come out on top tonight.

 

COLE

Also, you see Landon Maddix, who won the SWF World Championship for the third time on Wednesday night in a gruelling Ladder Match. How close to 100% is he and how much does he want to win, with a World Title already in the bag? Plus, you've got Felix Strutter with the Canadian crowd on his side and momentum after winning on Thursday night. But, then there's Brock Ausstin, no love lost between those two. We've got all three of The Hooligans, the other bigmen in the match Cuban Wall and CPA...

 

COACH

Abdullah Abir Nerdly out for revenge on Bohemoth.

 

COLE

And even in Canada the guy can't catch a break with the fans.

 

COACH

It's prejudice is what it is. And against a Nerdly of all people, the greatest wrestling family in Canadian history!

 

COLE

I've told you already, Maggie's not going to date you.

 

COACH

So? She's got like fourty sisters! Vegas odds say at least one's got to be diggin' on Da Coach!

 

As the sixteen competitors continue to eye one another up, finally one of the referees on the outside takes it upon himself to call for the bell...

 

 

 

...but not so fast!

 

It wouldn't be AngleMania VI...

 

 

It wouldn't be Skydome...

 

 

It wouldn't be a WrestleMania VI ripoff homage...

 

 

 

 

 

Without a Warrior!

 

 

 

 

"RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

COLE

OH

 

MY~!

 

The roof is in danger of blowing clean off of Skydome as "Black Sweat" by Prince hits through the P.A and the aura, myth and legend that is MISTER WARRIOR sprints down the insanely long aisleway to the ring, ring carts be DAMNED~!, pumping his fists in the air like a SUPERMANIAC~! The 16 men in the ring look on in stunned silence as Mister Warrior jumps to the apron and SHAKES THE ROPES~! Warrior goes around to the opposite side of the ring and SHAKES~! the ropes again, pumping his fists to the fans before entering the ring, which causes the other 15 competitors to back up into the ropes.

 

COLE

THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE IS UPON US~!

 

COACH

What in the hell is going on!? I thought when they draw Warrior's name it was a joke!

 

COLE

Mister Warrior is NO JOKE~!

 

Warrior pumps his fists to the heavens above, drawing on some sort of alterior powers from beyond as the crowd of Supermaniacs continue to go nuts! Nobody seems to have a clue what to make of all this as Mister Warrior simply stands centre ring, beating his chest. As the saying goes, 'you go tell him he's not supposed to be here'. And nobody seems to be willing to do so.

 

Until suddenly, out of the pack, Abdullah Abir Nerdly steps forward!

 

COLE

Uh-oh.

 

Showing no fear what-so-ever of this mythological OAOAST super-being, Abdullah stands in front of Warrior and despite the near foot difference in height, he doesn't back down an inch. Apparantly taking offence to Mister Warrior's calling upon of the divine spirits, Abdullah bows his head, before extending his arms to the sky in a mighty Arabic cry!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

All the camels in Arabia couldn't save Abdullah from the power of ALDOSTERONE~! however. And tiring of the outcry, Warrior suddenly reaches out and goozles the horrified Abdullah! Pressing him high over his head, Warrior begins to do reps with AAN, before running Abdullah to the ropes...

 

 

 

...AND HURLING THE ADOPTED SON OF THE NERDLY FAMILY TO THE FLOOR!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY

LEFT: 1st

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Mister Warrior

LEFT IN RING: 15

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The unsypathetic Canadian crowd roar at the elimination and ready themselves for some more Mister Warrior Destrucicitysation! However, for some inexplicable reason, Mister Warrior decides to slide out of the ring, pumping his fists to the skies before turning heel and sprinting off back down the aisle.

 

COLE

Uhm... okay.

 

COACH

The United Nations of Professional Wrestling are gonna be pissed when they see this!

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

With that out of the way, the bell sounds and we are finally officially underway! Into the centre of the ring pile fourteen bodies, fists flying in a scene of typical battle royal chaos! It's The GPX and Black T renewing their old acquaintancy, Bloodshed and Jamie O'Hara, Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat double-teaming The Cuban Wall, Bohemoth and big CPA and leaving Felix Strutter, Brock Ausstin and Faqu piling up in one corner all trying to get a quick elimination on one another. The one man missing? Why, Landon Maddix of course, sitting it out on the floor and discussing strategy with Megan Skye. Referee Brian Hebner motions for Landon to get back in, but Landon seems happy enough where he is for now.

 

COLE

A lot on the line here, the winner shooting himself straight into the main event scene with a shot at the World Champion whenever he so chooses.

 

COACH

They could even cash it in after the main event tonight, right?

 

COLE

Yes, they could. Let's hope it doesn't come to that though, this is AngleMania VI not AngleMania IX.

 

Faqu gets a deadlift on one of Brock Ausstin's legs and starts to lift him towards an elimination. Which in turn allows Felix Strutter to scoot out of the corner, dodging bodies as he looks for some action. He clubs Johnny Jax down from behind, aiding Dan Black in the process. But with everyone with their own agendas, Strutter is left as the odd man out. So, noticing Landon Maddix stalling on the floor, Strutter slides out of the ring and creeps up on the SWF World Champion. Megan notices Felix before Landon does and frantically points behind him, Landon wondering what all the fuss is about as he turns around...

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

 

...AND TAKES A HIGH ROUNDHOUSE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Landon faceplants on the ringside mats and stays there, seemingly KOed, as Strutter fires up the Canadian crowd. Before he can follow up on Landon though, Brock Ausstin has broken away from Faqu and exits the ring, blindsighting Strutter with a HUGE clothesline!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COLE

Wow! Brock Ausstin just took Felix straight off his feet with that clothesline!

 

COACH

Yeah, that's how we do it in America buddy!

 

With his long-lasting grudge with Team Canada, it's perhaps no surprise that the crowd let Brock have it as he hurls Felix Strutter back into the fray and follows. Landon remains down and Megan kneels down to tend to him, as the action continues unabaited without him.

 

Bohemoth and CPA continue to exchange heavy bombs against the ropes on one side of the ring, the two biggest men in the match soon joined by the third, as Cuban Wall wipes out Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly with a double clothesline. Picking his way through the field, Wall spins Bohemoth around and stuns him with a right hand. Together Wall and Allen then follow Bo into a corner, double-teaming the 24/7 Champion having pinpointed him as a big threat in the match apparantly. Meanwhile, Jamie O'Hara finds himself up in dangerous territory as Bloodshed hoists him over the top rope and tries to tip him the rest of the way out. O'Hara uses his grip on the top rope to prevent from being thrown over and is eventually saved by Scotty Static, who in turn is clubbed down from behind by Tony Brannigan.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Up goes the sound of the chop somewhere in the mass of bodies, the Toronto crowd apparantly not needing to know who threw it or who recieved it to let out the customary 'whoo' in response. Turns out is was Dan Black on Johnny Jax, who now pinned in a corner finds himself being lifted up by the legs! And as Dan begins to lift, Tony Brannigan plows in and looks to help his partner out!

 

COLE

Black T and The Global Party Exchange, two of the greatest teams in OAOAST history doing battle at AngleMania with a World singles Title shot on the line! And it looks like Black T might be out to avenge the first Anderson Cup Finals!

 

Jax wraps his arm around the top turnbuckle as he finds the lower half of his body elevated level to the top rope. Spotting his buddy in trouble, O'Hara goes to the eyes on Bloodshed, giving himself time to rush over and pull Tony off of Jax...

 

 

 

...or, that's the plan anyway. O'Hara doesn't so much pull Tony off as hang off his arm pathetically trying to shift him. Eventually Tony shrugs him off as an irritance and re-concentrates on Jax. Luckily for Johnny though, Scotty is back up and takes a less physical stance in his attempts to save his partner, BOOTING BRANNIGAN BELOW THE BELT!!

 

"OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Down crumbles Brannigan, Dan spotting it out of the corner of his eye and turning around to see what happened only to turn into the flailing fist of Static. And pretty soon the tables have turned, with the three Hooligans collectively putting the boots to both members of Black T in that one corner of the ring. Bloodshed takes a look in that direction but rather than take on three to one odds, he turns his attentions to the corner on his left, where he has much more favourable odds with Faqu who he tackles back into the turnbuckles. Lifting the big Samoan up and over the top proves much harder though and unable to move either of Faqu's tree-trunk like legs, Bloodshed falls prey to a big Samoan Headbutt!

 

COLE

As everybody knows, Samoans have the hardest heads in the wrestling universe.

 

COACH

And they also eat babies, right? I'm telling you, when The United Nations of Professional Wrestling sees this we're going to be in hella trouble.

 

No sooner has Faqu dealt with Bloodshed than another wave hits him, this time Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. Fly is sent soaring across the ring with one mighty shove but Heat manages to get the jump on the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, wailing away with a succession of right hands. He changes it up to stomps as Faqu begins to succumb to the beating, stomping the proverbial mudhole into the big Samoan and walkin' it dry BAH GAWD! Faqu is left slumped against the bottom turnbuckle and seems pretty safe from elimination down there, so is in no hurry to pull himself back up. Perhaps he should have been however, as Heat rounds back on him and dives crotch-first at the Samoan with the BRONCO BUSTER!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Heat rides the bronco a couple of times before climbing back up and SHIMMYING, to a pop!

 

COLE

What a coup it would be for Colombian Heat to win this Money In The Bank Battle Royal. There's a lot of guys right on the cusp of a World Title shot in this match who haven't been able to climb that last step to greatness and Heat is definately one of them. If he can survive here, he could give any World Champion a run for their money!

 

Heat helps Spanish Fly up to his feet and together, the former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions now target Brock Ausstin as he puts the boots to Felix Strutter. Heat and Fly jump Brock and club away, earning themselves some more props from the fans for saving their Canadian hero of the match. That leaves Bloodshed to pick up on Faqu, crawling over and BITING Faqu in the corner!

 

COLE

Ugh! Bloodshed, with the gruesome tactics we've come to expect from him! I thought the Samoans were supposed to be the savages.

 

COACH

Don't push it.

 

Back in the one corner of the ring, Bohemoth continues to find himself in trouble at the hands of The Enterprise's Director Of Security and The Muscle Of The Lightning Crew. Both stables have had good nights so far and they're doing pretty well here too, as they stomp Bohemoth down. Eventually Wall tires of the beating though and stops CPA, signalling that they should get rid of Bo while they have the chance. Together Wall and CPA then pull Bohemoth to his feet from the corner and direct him out towards the ropes, a hand each on the back of Bohemoth's head as they run him to the ropes...

 

 

 

...AND PITCH HIM...

 

 

 

...TO THE APRON!! Bo hangs onto the top rope and manages to save himself!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

No, Bohemoth is still in! His feet didn't touch!

 

CPA and Wall assume for a second that their job is done and celebrate, Wall throwing up the Lightning Crew Salute and CPA raising his arms in the air also. However, as Bohemoth climbs back to the apron, the two hired hitmen notice that the other former hired hitman is still in the match and their celebrations are cut short. Wall reacts first and runs at Bo, who ducks his head through the middle rope and drives his shoulder into Wall's gut. And then, as CPA follows up a second or two later, Bohemoth grabs the top rope and lowbridges...

 

 

 

 

 

...CAUSING CPA TO GO TUMBLING OVER HIM, OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

CPA's feet sure hit though! And there goes The Enterprise's sole respresentative!

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN

LEFT: 2nd

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth

LEFT 'IN RING': 14

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rolling back in underneath the bottom rope, Bohemoth goes right after Wall in retaliation for the beating he's taken so far. As CPA is ordered off to the back, anyone who forgot about Landon Maddix forgets no more. Milking the Roundhouse Kick he took earlier for all it's worth he sits against the ring steps holding an ice cold can of Pepsi Max to the back of his head. The referees try intermittently to get him to re-enter the ring, but to no avail.

 

COACH

You know, I'm picking Landon to win.

 

COLE

Gee, I wonder why.

 

The Hooligans have the better of Black T now and collectively force Tony Brannigan out of the ring.

 

 

It's only through the bottom and middle ropes. But it's enough to allow them to combine to hoist Dan Black up and across the top turnbuckle!

 

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

We could be a step closer to the end of Black T right here!

 

COACH

And this crowd are cheering!

 

COLE

Well, you know Black T aren't always the most popular of competitors. Although given the circumstances, I'm a little surprised these fans are cheering against Black.

 

Black is forced up by the collective efforts of Jax, Static and O'Hara and there's no-one to come to his rescue as Brannigan lays dazed on the outside. The Ice Heart starts to strike down in a desperate effort to get at least one of the Hooligans away from him. He doesn't seem to be doing much more than irritating the trio however and suddenly starts to tip to the left, on the verge of losing his balance across the top, O'Hara climbing on the bottom rope to get even more leverage on his part of the elimination effort! But just as Black seems to be losing hope, Tony Brannigan pulls himself up on the outside. Brannigan climbs back up onto the apron. The trio of Hooligans panic, upping their efforts on Black. But Brannigan rears back and clubs O'Hara with a brutal Heart Punch, causing O'Hara to go FLYING across the ring off the bottom rope like he was shot out of a cannon!! Black suddenly shifts his weight now that he has just two men to deal with...

 

 

...FALLING FROM THE TOP...

 

 

 

 

...WITH A FRONT FACELOCK ON SCOTTY STATIC, CHOKING HIM ACROSS THE TOP ROPE!!

 

COLE

OH! He's got him, Black's got Static!

 

Not sure who to go for first, Johnny lands a back elbow on Brannigan, before grabbing Black by the hair and connecting with a hard right hand in hopes of breaking his facelock on his partner. However, as Johnny's attentions then turns back to T-Bod, he gets caught! And with a pop of the hips, Brannigan throws Jax...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...TO THE FLOOR WITH HIPTOSS!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

There goes Jax! And he landed hard, right on his right leg!

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOHNNY "JAM" JACKSON

LEFT: 3rd

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Tony Brannigan

LEFT 'IN RING': 13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jax curls up in a ball on the floor clutching his knee, as Brannigan now enters the ring again. The only former OAOAST World Champion in the match commands the ring all of a sudden, putting O'Hara back down on his return with a clothesline. Colombian Heat comes in next and a big right hand drops him in an instant. Next to attack is Spanish Fly and his superior quickness allows him to duck underneath the clothesline attempt, bouncing off the ropes and dropkicking Brannigan... who barely moves!

 

COLE

I think Fly might be better picking someone a little more his size than the 262 T-Bod.

 

COACH

We don't have a midget division. Yet.

 

Not completely unused to that sort of a result, Fly regroups and comes off the ropes again. Another dropkick connects, but again Fly just bounces off the burly chest of "The Body". One more time signals Spanish Fly, coming off the ropes for the third, hopefully charmed time, shooting out his legs and catching Brannigan in a wheelbarrow position. Fly pushes up off the canvas and looks for the Rube Goldberg Bulldog...

 

 

 

...but Brannigan catches Fly over his shoulder with ease and brings the luchador down across his knee with a GIANT Atomic Drop...

 

 

 

...and the reflex reaction of landing BUTT-first across Brannigan's knee is such that Spanish Fly goes SOARING forward, RIGHT THE WAY OVER THE TOP AND OUT TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SPANISH FLY

LEFT: 4th

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Tony Brannigan

LEFT 'IN RING': 12

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

Man alive, Tony Brannigan is picking the field apart! Black T aren't here to lay their careers to rest without a fight, that's for sure!

 

COACH

And Dan is still choking Scotty Static out across the rope too!

 

With Static growing limp, Black lets him go, making sure to hang onto the ropes and pull himself back inside knowing that he got to that position via going over the top rope. Together, Black T then decide on their next targets, Colombian Heat and Jamie O'Hara, climbing to their feet at the same time conveniently. Or inconveniently perhaps, as it's two to two rather than two on one. Still, no worries. Brannigan lays out O'Hara with a clothesline, flipping him head over heels! Beside him, Dan Black boots Heat in the gut and sets him up, drilling the Colombian with the CRADLE PILEDRIVER!!

 

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

 

A growing portion of the crowd feel the nostalgia power of AngleMania now, as Black T seem to be dominating this Battle Royal all of a sudden. Fueled by this perhaps, Brannigan drags poor Jamie O'Hara off the canvas by his baggy wifebeater and pins his arms behind his back...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...to allow Black to absolutely LEATHER O'Hara across the chest with a knifedge chop!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and a second, O'Hara's legs flailing as Brannigan literally has to hold The Birmingham Bad Boy up! Not satisfied yet, Black grabs a hold of O'Hara's wifebeater and pulls it up over his head like you'd expect to see in an ice hockey brawl. That exposes J-OH's scrawny chest...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...for the third chop, lighting up the pasty Brit!!

 

COLE

Well, if Dan Black is off the active roster after tonight, at least we'll have his handprint to remember him by!

 

O'Hara falls to his knees to the moment Brannigan releases him, clutching at his chest in agony. But Black T are far from done with The Birmingham Bad Boy yet. Black wrings out the arm of his fellow Briton, whipping him to the ropes for...

 

"3-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

 

...3-B, the Black Body Bag!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

And listen to the crowd! Now, solidly behind Black T it would seem!

 

COACH

They're OAOAST Originals Mikey. They helped to make this company what it is and give us any shot at making AngleMania VI. They deserve this sort of reaction wherever they go, no matter what their attitude is!

 

Bohemoth and Cuban Wall continue to do battle in the far corner, Brock Ausstin putting the boots to Felix Strutter once more. The options are growing limited for Black T now as they gradually pick off everyone in the battle royal as they picked off everyone around them two weeks ago on HeldDOWN~! Together they decide that Bloodshed is next on the Black T hitlist and pull him out of the corner, Brannigan handing him off to Black, who wraps on a waistlock and just DESTROYS the SWF superstar with a Release German Suplex!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

It's a good job Bloodshed has such a high treshold for pain, because he just got dumped right on his HEAD!

 

As Bloodshed rolls lifelessly across the ring, Faqu is pulled out of the same corner by Brannigan. After a couple of clubbing forearms over the back and a kneelift that puts Faqu back into the corner, T-Bod whips the HI-YAH Champion out. Faqu runs right into a boot to the gut from Black, The Ice Heart re-positioning himself as Faqu comes to a stop...

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...BLACKOUT!!

 

COLE

The kick, the 'wham' and the Blackout! Patanted Dan Black!

 

COACH

But Faqu is still up!!

 

Indeed, even after Black's patented stunner, Faqu doesn't go down. Instead the big Samoan stumbles around, clearly out on his feet. One more strike should put him down though and Brannigan is happy to oblige, hitting the ropes in front of Faqu...

 

 

 

...tumbling OVER the ropes in front of Faqu...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND LANDING FEET-FIRST ON THE ARENA FLOOR!!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

OH, MY! BRANNIGAN IS GONE!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Tony looks in SHOCK, wondering what the hell just happened. And right on cue, the answer shoots right past him. Having 'finally summoned the courage to re-enter the battle royal' (read: spotted a golden opportunity to eliminate someone and made it look like a brave effort to join the fray), Landon Maddix had pulled the top ring rope down. And before Tony and Dan know what's happening next, Landon wipes out Black with a Flying Forearm, climbing right to his feet and bowing dramatically!

 

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

 

COLE

Give me a break! Landon finally enters this battle royal, hits one move and acts like he's won the darn thing!

 

COACH

Hey, give him some credit. Black T were dominating the battle royal and Maddix picked his opportunity and broke the dominating team up by eliminating Tony Brannigan. Smart move.

 

COLE

Smart's one word for it I suppose.

 

Hanging his head, Brannigan gives in to referee Nick Patrick's orders to leave ringside, knowing his fate on the active roster lays in Dan Black's hands now. The fans aren't sure whether this is the last time they'll see Tony "The Body". But just incase, they give the OAOAST legend a warm round of applause.

 

COLE

And some of this crowd, hoping that won't be the last we see of Tony Brannigan but still showing their respect to one of the OAOAST's greats.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TONY BRANNIGAN

LEFT: 5th

ELIMINATED: Johnny Jax, Spanish Fly

ELIMINATED BY: Landon Maddix

LEFT IN RING: 11

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Back to the action and Landon stomps away on Black with his renewed competitive spirit. Having sat out the opening stages of the battle he's the freshest man in the match, of course. However as he stomps away he forgets all about Faqu, who stands behind him and shakes off the effects of the stunner he had just taken. Looking curiously at Landon, the Samoan sneaks up on La Cucaracha and waits.

 

And waits.

 

But still Landon doesn't seem to notice what's happening, mis-reading the crowd's response and pausing to pose again. It's only when Faqu grabs hold of his blonde locks that Maddix realises something is a-miss. And by then, he's already soaring...

 

 

 

 

 

...OVER THE TOP...

 

 

 

 

 

...AND INCHES FOR ELIMINATION AS HE HANGS ONTO THE TOP ROPE ON THE WAY OVER!!! Maddix teeters on the brink for a second or two before suddenly pulling up, skinning the cat back inside before Faqu has chance to go after him again.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

It's that sort of athletic ability that has took Landon Maddix to two Clusterfuck victories in the SWF and got him to the final two of this year's Lethal Rumble.

 

COACH

And it's also why my money's on him.

 

As soon as Landon's feet hit the canvas, he Marty Jannettys himself underneath the bottom rope, crawling back to his hiding place next to the steel steps to the destain of the crowd. Faqu growls a little, but decides not to pursue and turns around... hoisting right up into a fireman's carry by Brock Ausstin!! F - STUNNER - 5~!!1!!!11!!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The crowd pop for the move rather than the man responsible for it, he being the proud partner of America's Team and all. Brock could care less either way as he drags Faqu back off the canvas by his ponytail and drags him over to the ropes. As Faqu falls into them, Brock then simply grapevines the leg and tips him RIGHT OUT OF THE BATTLE ROYAL WITH IMPRESSIVE STRENGTH!!

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FAQU

LEFT: 6th

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Brock Ausstin

LEFT 'IN RING': 10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

But as Brock tips Faqu, he ends up toppling himself over the top through sheer effort! Brock gets his hand down on the apron to save himself. Which is fine...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...UNTIL FELIX STRUTTER DROPKICKS HIM IN THE BUTT, FLIPPING HIM OUT TO THE FLOOR!!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

WOOOWWii Brock Ausstin, another favourite, gone to the delight of this Canadian crowd!!

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BROCK AUSSTIN

LEFT: 7th

ELIMINATED: Faqu

ELIMINATED BY: Felix Strutter

LEFT 'IN RING': 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"CAN - A - DA!"

"CAN - A - DA!"

"CAN - A - DA!"

"CAN - A - DA!"

 

Fuming, Brock lands right in front of Faqu and death-glares the referees into backing off of him. Sliding back into the ring, Brock grabs Felix by the wrist and spins him around, hoisting him right up onto his shoulders. And with the howls of the Toronto crowd ringing through his ears, he hurls Strutter through the air with the F STUNNER 5~!1!!#1~!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

Brock rolls back out of the ring and marches off past the furious Canadian fans as Strutter is laid out prone in the centre of the ring.

 

COLE

Well, I don't approve of that...

 

COACH

Who cares what you approve of? Brock Ausstin just taught everyone in Skydome and around the world one valuable lesson- Don't Mess With America!

 

COLE

This isn't a Bush Rally Coach.

 

COACH

I wi...

 

COLE

And yes, I get that the word 'Bush' can be used as innuendo, but please hold your tongue.

 

Still Wall and Bohemoth are battling off in that one corner, with no signs of letting up, the two bigmen locked in their own personal battle in amongst this battle royal.

 

Climbing to their feet out of the wreckage come Scotty Static and Colombian Heat. Both are still hurting from their dealings with Dan Black and both seem to have the same idea, as they drag Black up and frog-march him across the ring towards the ropes. Black grips on for dear life even before he gets elevated off the canvas by the makeshift duo. Meanwhile, Bloodshed climbs back up and lays a blatant choke on Jamie O'Hara, just as Landon Maddix sneaks back in and puts the boots to The Birmingham Bad Boy. Maddix lands just a handful of kicks, before turning his attention to Felix Strutter. Already grinning, Landon picks up what's left of "After Hours" and drags him over to the ropes, TOSSING STRUTTER UP AND OVER THE TOP BEFORE DUSTING HIS HANDS IN SATISFACTION!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

COLE

Landon Maddix, picking the bones again!

 

COACH

Haha! You know, I know he's an SWF guy, but it has to be said Landon is

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FELIX STRUTTER

LEFT: 8th

ELIMINATED: Brock Ausstin

ELIMINATED BY: Landon Maddix

LEFT IN RING: 8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

With that, the field has been cut in half. Landon rejoined Bloodshed in the beatdown of Jamie O'Hara, until Scotty Static notices his partner in trouble and comes over to help out. As the SWF/Hooligans war re-ignites, that leaves Colombian Heat alone trying to lift Dan Black up and out, which isn't an easy task with Black's legs grapevined around the lower ring ropes. And still Bohemoth and Cuban Wall do battle, now coming out of the corner by virtue of a succession of right hands from The Meterosexual Monster!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

The crowd roar on Bo as he beats Wall into retreat. But he tries to throw one punch too many and gets a knee to the gut for his trouble, before Wall reaches out and grabs Bohemoth by the throat!

 

COLE

Can he get him up for a Chokeslam!?

 

The answer on this occasion is no. Bohemoth strikes down on the arm and breaks the goozle, shooting low AND PLANTING WALL WITH THE SPINEBUSTAAAAH~!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COACH

YO~!

 

COLE

Two hundred and eighty five pounds, dropped like it was NOTHING!

 

The 24/7 Champion pops right back to his feet and looks around the Skydome crowd, eyes wide as he comes to a stop.

 

Thumbs Up.

 

 

THUMBS DOWN~!

 

Bohemoth reaches down to pull Cuban Wall back up, grabbing a hold of him by the hair. But once on one knee, Wall suddenly jerks his head forward and headbutts Bohemoth in the abdomen, followed by a second. Once again Wall grabs the throat and comes up to his feet, still goozling Bohemoth AND DRILLING HIM WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COACH

DOUBLE YO~!

 

COLE

Man alive, these two monsters just destroying each other in the pursuit of the Money In The Bank contract! What a brutal Chokeslam from The Cuban Wall!

 

COACH

And imagine what a win would do for him, he'd jump out of Tha Puerto Rican's shadow and into the main event!

 

Glaring down at Bohemoth for a second, Wall suddenly wheels around. And as Black braces himself, Colombian Heat turns around JUST IN TIME TO GET CLOTHESLINED RIGHT OUT OVER THE TOP!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COLOMBIAN HEAT

LEFT: 9th

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall

LEFT IN RING: 7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COACH

Oh yeah, Wall's stepping it up now! This could be the perfect night for The Lightning Crew!

 

COLE

I don't think we'd ever hear the end of it from PRL if Wall won this Money In The Bank contract.

 

With the former Lightning Crew member and long-time nemesis dealt with, Wall now turns back to Bohemoth as he pulls himself up on the ropes after the Chokeslam. Winding up the arm, with a cocky smirk on his face, Wall charges at the 24/7 Champion...

 

 

 

 

...BUT BOHEMOTH DIPS HIS HEAD...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND BACKDROPS CUBAN WALL UP AND OUT!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COACH

Aw, damnit!

 

COLE

And the perfect Lightning Crew night just hit a blip! Cuban Wall, a little too much momentum on his side and out of the Battle Royal!!

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CUBAN WALL

LEFT: 10th

ELIMINATED: Colombian Heat

ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth

LEFT IN RING: 6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The crowd let Wall have it, making up for all the Lightning Crew success they've had to put up with already in the night. Wall saves himself on the barricade and shoots a murderous look back up into the ring. The referees, already knowing what Brock Ausstin's next move was, pre-emptively jump in front of Wall and tell him not to get back into the ring. But they might as well have saved their breaths, as Wall SHOVES the referees out of the way and climbs back to the apron.

 

COLE

HEY! HE'S ELIMINATED ALREADY!

 

Bohemoth is alerted by the crowd...

 

...but it comes too late...

 

 

 

...Wall grabbing him from behind AND PULLING HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP BACKWARDS!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COACH

YEAH! Don't Mess With America, but Don't Mess With The Lightning Crew either!!

 

COLE

That's bull! Wall has been eliminated, he's got no business coming back in and eliminating someone!

 

COACH

He didn't come back in. He was on the apron. He's just paying homage to Bad News Brown, not quite the right show but the right year that we're ripping off.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BOHEMOTH

LEFT: 11th

ELIMINATED: CPA, Cuban Wall

ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall

LEFT IN RING: 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As Bohemoth hits the floor, Wall quickly lands a clothesline to put Bo down as the referees continue to swarm around him. But controlling a 282 pound Cuban is no easy task and Wall just brushes the refs aside with ease, walking across ringside and grabbing himself a steel chair. Bohemoth climbs to his feet and turns around, just as Wall picks his way back through the sea of zebra shirts...

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

...AND SMASHES BOHEMOTH OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR!!!

 

COLE

Come on! What the hell is the meaning of this, Cuban Wall has lost it!

 

COACH

He's lost nothing Mikey!

 

COLE

He's lost the Money In The Bank contract.

 

COACH

Yeah, but so's Bohemoth now. He's just teaching Bo a lesson, that's all.

 

Tossing the chair aside, Wall still isn't done, brushing away the throngs of referees as he pulls Bohemoth off the ringside mats. Slowly. Hey, Bohemoth's no small guy himself. Even so, Wall is able to pull The Meterosexual Monster up and grab him by the throat for a second time. And for a second time he lifts Bo skywards...

 

 

 

*THUD!*

 

 

...AND DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH THE CHOKESLAM, this one with even more force out on the arena floor!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Bo remains motionless as Wall now turns his attentions to the referees, all still gallantly telling him he needs to leave. Referee Brian Hebner gets a little too close though and Wall grabs him by the collar, pulling him nose to nose and growling something at him.

 

 

Before, for some reason, dropping to his knees and laying over Bohemoth.

 

COLE

Wha...

 

Hebner looks dumbly for a second, as Wall points down, eyes piercing through Hebner. And with a shrug of the shoulders the intimidated official drops down beside Bohemoth...

 

 

1...

 

 

COLE

Wait, no!

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

COACH

Yes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COACH

YES!!!

 

COLE

You've got to be kidding me!!

 

COACH

CUBAN WALL HAS WON THE 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP!!

 

Wall points for someone to go and get him 'his belt' and quickly they scurry off as Wall turns to the crowd and throws up the Lightning Crew Salute.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The ref returns and hands Wall the 24/7 Title, which he loops over his shoulder, the belt looking pretty small against Wall's mighty chest. Wall looks down at Bohemoth with the 24/7 Championship and smirks down at him, pointing a finger into the unconscious Meterosexual Monster's face before throwing up the Lightning Crew Salute again and walking off!

 

COACH

The perfect AngleMania for The Lightning CreWii I told you Mikey! They've got the X-Division Title, they've got the Women's Title and now, now Cuban Wall has brought home the OAOAST 24/7 Championship! The Lightning Crew are as decorated as they have perhaps ever been!

 

COLE

This is... this is stunning! The 24/7 Championship has changed hands... and we're still in the middle of this battle royal!

 

Wall marches off down the aisle with his newly won championship...

 

 

...as back in the ring, we are left with five competitors in with a shot at that Money In The Bank contract. Dan Black, Scotty Static, Bloodshed, Landon Maddix and Jamie O'Hara. The two Hooligans are on the recieving end right now as Bloodshed and Maddix double team Scotty Static, leaving Black with O'Hara. The Ice Heart whips O'Hara across the ring and looks to cut him down with a back elbow. O'Hara sweeps underneath the arm though and comes flying back, smashing Black in the face with the Busaiku Knee Kick!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Quickly to his feet despite looking a physical wreck, O'Hara drags Bloodshed away from Static and rocks him with a forearm! O'Hara then does the same with Maddix, forearming him and sending him crashing into a corner. A wring of the arm sets up Bloodshed now and O'Hara whips him right into his SWF counterpart...

 

 

 

...AND LANDON THROWS UP A BOOT, KICKING BLOODSHED IN THE FACE!!

 

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Bloodshed goes stumbling backwards, O'Hara left frozen as that wasn't what he had in mind. Instead, he just watches on, as Bloodshed stops and his eyes lock on Landon. Firey eyes.

 

 

MADDIX

 

 

Alliance over, the tenuous SWF duo are set to explode as Bloodshed stalks towards Maddix...

 

 

 

 

 

...BUT O'HARA SNEAKS UP BEHIND AND DUMPS BLOODSHED TO THE FLOOR!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BLOODSHED

LEFT: 12th

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Jamie O'Hara

LEFT IN RING: 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

O'Hara doesn't have long to celebrate though, as Maddix grabs him by the seat of the pants...

 

 

 

 

...AND SENDS HIM RIGHT OUT ON TOP OF BLOODSHED, HIGH OVER THE TOP AND OUT!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COACH

HAHA! Brilliant, just brilliant!

 

COLE

And we are down to three!!

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JAMIE O'HARA

LEFT: 13th

ELIMINATED: Bloodshed

ELIMINATED BY: Landon Maddix

LEFT IN RING: 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Collapsing back into the corner, Maddix grins from ear to ear as Megan jogs over and leaps to the apron, kissing her man on the forehead and telling him 'it's in the bag'. Maddix smiles and nods with the look of a man who doesn't need telling, watching on as Dan Black has meanwhile started the attack on Scotty Static.

 

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

 

COLE

This crowd making no secret of their feelings, as we are left with three men. The Global Party Exchange's Scotty Static and Black T's Dan Black, two of the OAOAST finest and the reigning SWF World Champion Landon Maddix! Static on the verge of the biggest singles accomplishment of his career. Landon on the verge of pursuing another World Title. And Dan Black, who has Black T's future in his hands- if he wins, he goes on after the World Championship, if not then Black T will retire!!

 

Black stomps away on Static against the ropes, while Bloodshed and O'Hara are 'escorted' away from ringside. Pulling Static up, Black then whips Static across the ring and gets the back elbow strike he was looking for earlier on O'Hara, cutting Scotty right off his feet! The Ice Heart glances over briefly at Landon, who holds his hands up and motions for Black to 'go ahead' and continue his battle with his former rival. For now Black accepts the invitation and pulls Static up.

 

But it proves a mistake, as Maddix scuttles out of the corner, reaching over Black's head and RAKING his eyes!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Black drop to his knees and claws at his eyes blindly, while Landon now targets Static. A forearm rocks Static. And a second. And a third. With Static dazed, Landon now hits the ropes and leaps, looking for a fourth and defining forearm strike... DUCKED! Static avoids the forearm and waits as Maddix puts on the brakes, springing up and knocking The Next Generation for a loop with a Leg Lariat!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The kick sends Maddix rolling across the ring and Landon ends up coming up against the ropes, absent-mindedly using them to pull himself up. Where he not absent-minded, he would likely realise being this close to the ropes is a danger...

 

 

 

...Static charging and clotheslining him OVER THE TOP...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...BUT LANDON HANGS ONTO THE TOP ROPE AND THE MOMENTUM SWINGS HIMSELF RIGHT BACK INTO THE RING!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

OH! So, so close!

 

COACH

I've no idea how Landon hung on there, but that was awesome! I'm almost beginning to forgive and forget all his SWF connections!

 

COLE

...

 

COACH

Almost.

 

Static tries to grab Landon as he comes back through the ropes. But Dan Black is up and his eyes are at least semi-functioning now, catching Static from behind and DUMPING him on his head with a Saito Suplex! Away rolls Static now, to the safety of the bottom rope, while Black pulls Landon back up and looks to make the pleading La Cucaracha pay. Landon suddenly comes to life though, snatching Black up with a single leg amateur style lift and tries to lift him up over the top. Unfortunately, Landon's amateur wrestling is limited to... well, absolutely nothing. And his technique leaves something to be desired, Black able to correct his footing and simply CLUB Maddix in the spine with a double axehandle!

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COACH

Not cool!

 

Looking to get away Landon duck-walks Bobby Backlund style all the way to the opposite side of the ring, cradling the bottom turnbuckle like a lost teddy bear. Black looks set to follow him, but out of the corner of his eye spots Scotty Static coming in, cutting him off with a boot to the gut. Standing headscissors on, Black then jerks Static up for the WILDBomb...

 

 

 

...but puts in too much effort and allows Static to spin all the way out in front, booting Black in the gut in kind and double underhooking the arms! SPIKE PU...

 

 

...NO! Black scoops Static up and just PRESSES him off, causing Static to faceplant into the canvas on the way down! Bouncing off the canvas, Static comes right back up to his feet. Another boot doubles him over and Black cradles Static around the back of the head, runs him to the ropes...

 

 

 

 

 

...AND SENDS HIM CRASHING OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

And Scotty Static is GONE! We are down to the final two!!

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SCOTTY STATIC

LEFT: 14th

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Dan Black

LEFT IN RING: 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Black's attentions now turn to Landon, who looks up and knows he's in trouble. Peeling him away from the turnbuckles, Black pushes Maddix forcefully up against the ropes and remembering the eyerake from moments earlier, rears back...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...lashing him with a knifedge chop!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...a second!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...third!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and, for good measure, a fourth stinging chop across the chest, prompting Landon to drop to his knees and beg for mercy!!

 

COLE

The future of Black T hangs on these next few minutes! And Dan Black is firing away with three years of history behind each and every one of those chops!

 

Showing no mercy, Dan drags Maddix up by his EARS and rattles him against the ropes with a European Uppercut this time...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and lighting him up with yet another knifedge chop, despite Megan's best protests. Black now looks for an irish whip and sends Maddix hurtling across the ring, waiting on him on the rebound and pressing him in the air as if for a Flapjack. At least that was the attention. Maddix leaps at Black as if for a Thesz Press, but tucks in his knees and lands on Black's thighs. Pushing off, Maddix then hooks the head and brings Black down face-first with the Thesz Plant!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Landon, after hitting the move, flops to the canvas too and starts to fan his chest.

 

COLE

Desperation move from Landon and this is anyone's for the taking here. Either Dan Black or Landon Maddix is going to have themselves a guaranteed shot at the World Championship. And I'm sure Drek Stone and Zack Malibu are both in deep preperations ahead of our main event right now, but once their match is over then I'm sure their interests will turn to who won this match.

 

COACH

Yeah, I'm sure neither Landon or Dan will sit on that contract like Zack has.

 

COLE

Then again, Zack got caught up with The GPX and The Wildcards, so who knows. But I take your point, whomever comes out on top here will be eager to get after either Drek or Zack, no love lost between any of the four possible combinations.

 

With the Skydome routing them on in search of a winner, both men climb to their feet side by side. And this time it's Landon who strikes...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...with a knifedge chop...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and Dan retaliates in kind!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and again...

 

 

 

...forcing Landon to GO TO THE EYES again!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

With Black blinded, Landon draws on some energy reserves and scoops Black up across his shoulders and looks for the GO 2 SLEEP... BLOCKED!! Black pushes off of Maddix's shoulder on his way up and lands on his feet next to Maddix, who knees nothing but thin air! As he stumbles on his standing foot, Landon spins towards Dan and...

 

 

KICK!

 

*WHAM!*

 

BLACKO...

 

 

 

 

...NO! Maddix pushes Black off into the ropes, blocking the Blackout! Back bounces Black, as Maddix vaults to meet him with the HurriLanrana... CAUGHT...

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

 

 

...WILDBOMB, FOLDS LANDON IN HALF!!!!!

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

COACH

OOOOOWNED~!

 

COLE

My God what a Powerbomb!!

 

Unstacking Landon off his neck, Dan now grapevines the legs and takes a look behind him, judging the positioning of the ropes. And as Megan shrieks for Dan not to think about what he's thinking about doing, Black begins to lean back, the crowd rising to their feet as Landon finds himself catapulted across the ring...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!

 

COLE

YES!! BLACK T SURVI...

 

"YYYEEEEEEE....

 

 

- ALMOST!!! The crowd believes for SURE Landon is gone, but he grips onto the top rope and somehow his feet hovers just INCHES over the arena floor! Megan screams encouragement and Landon skins the cat back inside...

 

 

 

...but turns around, right into a Superkick...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...DUCKED...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND BLACK GOES TUMLING OVER THE TOP, BOUNCING OFF THE APRON AND HITTING THE ARENA FLOOR!!!!!!

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

COLE

NOOO!!

 

COACH

YES! THE COACH WAS RIGHT~!

 

The crowd deflate like a popped balloon and the air sucks out of Skydome like a vaccum the moment the bell sounds. Dan lays on the arena floor and looks up at the 'Dome is disbelief, pounding his fists into the ringside mats as he sits up. Into the ring slides Megan and besides herself she throws herself into Landon's arms, hugging her man in delight shared by no-one else in the arena.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen... your winner of the Battle Royal, earning a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship any time in the next 12 months... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!!

 

"booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!"

 

A noticeably muted reaction goes up, even as Landon falls to his knees in an over-exuberant celebration. All eyes are focused on Dan Black as he stands up, leant against the ring apron staring at his feet and shaking his head. Referee Nick Patrick tries to console The Ice Heart but he's shrugged away, Dan not in the mood.

 

COLE

I don't believe it. Landon Maddix wins... and Black T... are gone.

 

Suddenly, Megan and Landon take their leave, as TONY BRANNIGAN slides into the ring. T-Bod watches Landon as he's helped away, collecting his SWF World Heavyweight Title belt and cradling it in his arms as he walks away in clear glee. Looking into the ring, Dan sees Tony and dejectedly rolls into the ring.

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

No words need to be exchanged.

 

Dan and Tony look out into the crowd who are on their feet, cheering and applauding the three-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, the most recognisable name in tag team wrestling in the OAOAST, two true Hall Of Famers. Even The Ice Heart looks a little emotional at the reception, as Tony shrugs his shoulders to his partner, silencing his apologies... and extending a hand...

 

 

 

...accepted by Black! Dan and Tony shake hands and embrace in the centre of the ring, clearly talking to each other but unheard over the crowd.

 

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

 

Black breaks the embrace and raises Tony's hand, the two OAOAST legends standing tall in the centre of the ring at Skydome, at AngleMania, taking one last curtain call in the OAOAST ring.

 

Never to be forgotten.

 

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

"BLACK T!"

 

COLE

A special moment in AngleMania history. Black T, going out with the respect of the fans ringing in their ears. Right now, incase you missed it the first time, here's a reminder about our next big event.

 

SCHOOL'S OUT

 

MAY 27th

 

LIVE! ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!

Edited April 3, 2007 by King Cucaracha

[Tony149 0]

COLE

Well ladies and gentlemen, this has already been a historic night here at AngleMania VI, and we've still got more to go! We've already got a new Women's Champion, and coming up next, we will definitely have a new X-Division Champion! Because in just a few moments, the Final Match In The Tournament For The Vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship will begin!

 

 

The OAOAST AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone logo flashes across the screen. The match-up graphic for the Final Match In The Tournament For The Vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship appears on screen. The crowd cheers. “Famous Last Words” by My Chemical Romance plays.

 

COLE

We started on February 1st with 16 men, and over the past two months, we have riddled that number down to just two. PRL, Tha Puerto Rican, will take on the ultimate underdog, Dance Dance Dragon with special guest referee, X-Division superstar, “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels! One of those these two men will become X-Division Champion for the first time in his career tonight!

 

COACH

This is the last Lightning Crew match at AngleMania VI, and it will end just like the other ones have ended: with a Lightning Crew member on top! The LC has been absolutely dominate tonight at AngleMania VI, and it's only going to continue right now, because really? Who gives Dance Dance Dragon a chance at winning this match?

 

COLE

Well, Dragon has surprised us in the past. He has managed to get through three very talented Superstars in order to arrive at the Finals. Dance Dance Dragon has surprised us all these past two months. Can he pull off the improbable victory tonight at the biggest show of the year? Let's take one final look at the brackets.

 

A graphic appears on screen showing the brackets for the tournament.

 

FIRST ROUND

"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. Kenji Kawada - PRL

"After Hours" Felix Strutter vs. "Ice Heart" Dan Black - Black

 

Otaku II vs. James Riggs - Riggs

Jamie O' Hara vs. Reject - Reject

 

Spanish Fly vs. Jay Richards - Fly

Dance Dance Dragon vs. Ramone Juan Jesus Guetierez - DDD

 

Vitamin X vs. James Blonde - VX

Longdogger Pete vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix - LDP

 

QUARTER-FINALS

"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. "Ice Heart" Dan Black - PRL

 

James Riggs vs. Reject – Reject

 

Spanish Fly vs. Dance Dance Dragon – DDD

 

Vitamin X vs. Longdogger Pete – VX

 

SEMI-FINALS

"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. Reject – PRL

 

Dance Dance Dragon vs. Vitamin X – DDD

 

FINALS

“The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican vs. Dance Dance Dragon

 

COLE

We've seen some great matches and some shocking upsets in this tournament, the biggest upsets of all belonging to Dance Dance Dragon! If Dragon can pull off the victory tonight, who knows what this would mean to his career?

 

COACH

It's not going to happen Cole! Dragon is in over his head here! The pressure of competing at AngleMania is going to get to him and he's going to choke. And Tha Puerto Rican is going to go straight for the kill, winning yet ANOTHER title in the OAOAST! This is going to be a good one!

 

COLE

Well like I said, Dragon has surprised us before. Will he surprise us again in the biggest match of his life? The time for talking has ended. Let's now go to the ring where Michael Buffer is standing by with the introductions!

 

Cut to the ring where Michael Buffer is standing, with cue cards in his left hand and a microphone on his right hand.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the Final Match In The Tournament For The Vacant One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Championship scheduled for one fall with a sixty-minute time limit!

 

“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels' TNA theme song plays over the loud speakers. The crowd pops. A ring cart brings out the Special Guest Referee for this match through the curtains. Daniels raises his hands to acknowledge the fans, and then looks towards the ring. He is wearing the standard referee shirt, along with black sweatpants, black sneakers, and a black and white armband on his right arm.

 

BUFFER

Introducing the Special Guest Referee. He is a legend in TNA's X-Division. A wrestler known around the world for his high impact style, he defines what X-Division wrestling is all about! The master of the Angel Wings, he is “The Fallen Angel” CHRISTOPHHEEEERRRRRRRRR DANNIIIEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

 

COLE

A highly appropriate referee for this match-up! Christopher Daniels knows all about X-Division wrestling, himself the longest reigning X-Division Champion in TNA history!

 

COACH

And now tonight, Tha Puerto Rican will become the longest reigning X-Division Champion in OAOAST history!

 

The ring cart stops at ringside. A ringside attendant unhooks the front of the ring cart, allowing Daniels to leave the ring cart and enter the ring. Daniels raises his hands once more, garnering cheers. He checks the ring ropes as his TNA theme song dies down.

 

COLE

Daniels is going to have his hands full tonight! Tha Puerto Rican and Dance Dance Dragon are going to give it their all to become X-Division Champion!

 

Daniels bounces off the ropes. “Hung Up” by Madonna brings the crowd to its feet. A Dance Dance Revolution stage hologram shines down in front of the entryway. A ring cart brings out Dance Dance Dragon through the curtains. The crowd cheers. The song picks up pace, causing multi-colored strobe lights to appear. Triple D raises his hands in the air, and then starts to bust a move in the ring cart!

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From Heaven's Dancefloor. Weighing in at 199 lbs. He..is...DANCE DANCEEEEEEEEEE DRAGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

 

COLE

What a thrill this must be for Dance Dance Dragon! Competing in his first AngleMania for the X-Division Title! This must be a dream come true for Dragon!

 

COACH

And that dream come true is going to turn into a nightmare, in fact a CORPORATE Nightmare once PRL is done with him!

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon defeated Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierrez in the First Round in 3 minutes! He defeated Spanish Fly in the Quarterfinals in 2 minutes! And two weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!, he defeated Vitamin X to advance to the Finals tonight!

 

COACH

That victory was all thanks to Caboose! X had Dragon right where he wanted him, but then Caboose had to go screw it up! It's okay, though. Because Vitamin X got revenge earlier tonight when he BEAT Caboose and Some Guy! HA! HA! HA!

 

Triple D pumps the crowd up. He jumps up and down on his ring cart. The ring cart pulls to a stop at ringside. A ringside attendant unhooks the front, and Dance Dance Dragon leaves the ring cart. Dragon dances his way around his ringside, and then climbs the ring steps to the enter the ring. DDD does some DDR style dancing in the ring. A spotlight shines on Dragon as he dances.

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon is living it up! He's pumped for this match!

 

COACH

His state of euphoria is going to end once the bell rings, Cole.

 

Triple D continues dancing. The lights go back on in the Toronto SkyDome. He bounces off the ropes to get ready for the match.

 

COLE

67,000 strong here in the SkyDome eagerly anticipating the final match in this tournament! And it's about to start in only a few moments!

 

Dance Dance Dragon looks to the entrance. “Hung Up” by Madonna dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation.

 

COACH

Here's a REAL entrance coming up!

 

The lights go down in the Toronto SkyDome. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big, white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen with Tha Puerto Rican saying them:

 

*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role '99” starts playing. The crowd stands up and starts booing. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, and then a ring cart brings out “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, his manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick, and Puerto Rican boxing legend Félix “Tito” Trinidad!

 

BUFFER

And his opponent. Accompanied to the ring by manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick AND former IBF and WBC Champion Félix “Tito” Trinidad! From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the Man With The Golden Contract. “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

 

COLE

PRL has a special guest with him tonight!

 

COACH

That's right! That's Félix Trinidad with Tha Puerto Rican tonight! He's dominated boxing, just like Tha Puerto Rican has dominated professional wrestling! He's a god in Puerto Rico! He might be retired, but he is still considered one of the greatest Puerto Rican boxers of all-time!

 

COLE

But what is he doing with PRL?

 

COACH

PRL and Trinidad are close personal friends. And I guess PRL wanted Trinidad to have a front row seat when he destroys Dance Dance Dragon tonight at AngleMania! In fact, tonight, Félix “Tito” Trinidad is an 'honorary' member of The Lightning Crew!

 

COLE

I don't know how much honor there is in being a Lightning Crew member.

 

COACH

Oh hush up you!

 

PRL, Popick, and Félix Trinidad look at the booing crowd and smile. Popick is holding PRL's black spray-painted briefcase with the Golden Contract inside. Trinidad, wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandanna, a white Lightning Crew T-shirt, white light jacket, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, blue jeans, and black workman boots, is in awe of the size of the crowd.

 

COLE

PRL worked hard to get here too. He defeated HI-YAH superstar Kenji Kawada in the First Round, then beat “The Ice Heart” Dan Black in a hard fought Quarterfinals match. And then two weeks ago, he defeated former X-Division Champion Reject to advance to the finals, and in fact, Reject played a HUGE part in why this tournament is taking place in the first place!

 

COACH

While it sucks that Reject is no longer the X-Division Champion, at least the title will be on somebody WORTHY again tonight at AngleMania VI. PRL would make a much better X-Champion than Jamie O'Hara, that's for sure!

 

COLE

I don't know. I thought O'Hara would have been a nice Champion!

 

COACH

You also think Hilary Duff is the greatest singer ever, so your opinion doesn't count on anything!

 

The ring cart stops at ringside as “Know Your Role '99” continues playing. A ringside attendant unhooks the front of the cart so that PRL, Popick, and Trinidad and leave. PR taunts some fans at ringside and then climbs the ring steps. Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Popick holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. Popick and Trinidad follow him. PRL spins around; soaking in the fans' boos. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. PRL laughs manically, both of his cheeks having Puerto Rican flags painted on them.

 

COACH

PRL still has a guaranteed shot at the World Heavyweight Championship, but it's not about the World Title tonight! It's all about becoming X-Division Champion, and it WILL happen tonight! Tha Puerto Rican guaran-damn-tees it!

 

PRL gloats about how great he is. He then grabs his briefcase and heads over to a second turnbuckle where he climbs it and raises the briefcase over his head. Puerto then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the black spray-painted briefcase over his head again. A “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up again. Popick, Félix “Tito” Trinidad, and Dance Dance Dragon watch as Tha Puerto Rican heads to a third second turnbuckle and raises his briefcase with his right hand ala The Rock, “smelling the electricity” while doing so. P.R. hits a fourth second turnbuckle and does the same Rock pose on it, receiving boos. PRL gets off the turnbuckle, removes his sunglasses, earring, and HBK-like entrance attire (vest and chaps). He hands his items over to a ringside attendant, and then chats with Popick and Trinidad while the lights go back on in the SkyDome.

 

COLE

This is the first ever match between PRL and Dance Dance Dragon...and PRL doesn't seem to be taking Dragon seriously!

 

COACH

He shouldn't, Cole! This is DANCE DANCE DRAGON we're talking about! He's got No Chance In Hell of beating PRL tonight at AngleMania VI! Not a chance in Hell!

 

PRL looks at Dance Dance Dragon with a cocky smirk on his face. “Know Your Role '99” dies down. The crowd is hot.

 

COLE

Well, here we go.

 

COACH

Oh boy! I am going to enjoy this!

 

PRL says something to Dragon, and then high fives Popick and Félix “Tito” Trinidad, who leave the ring, with Popick grabbing the black spray-painted briefcase. PRL jumps up and down in place while Dance Dance Dragon just looks at him.

 

COLE

The crowd is electric! They have waited two months for this one match! After a two month wait, we will have an OAOAST X-Division Champion here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread.

 

Popick shouts words of encouragement to PRL from the outside. “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels orders PRL and DDD to come next to him. PRL and Dragon engage in a staredown while Christopher Daniels goes over the rules.

 

“THE FALLEN ANGEL” CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

Okay. Now, you both know the rules. No hitting below the belt. No illegal maneuvers. I am the man in charge of this match. The only way this match can end is by pinfall or submission. There WILL be a winner in this match-up! Now, any questions from you Puerto?

 

Puerto Rican just stares.

 

“THE FALLEN ANGEL” CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

Any questions from you Dragon?

 

Dragon just stares.

 

“THE FALLEN ANGEL” CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

All right. Good luck. And may the best man win.

 

Christopher Daniels raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head to let the crowd know that this is a title match. He then hands the belt over to a ringside attendant.

 

COLE

The nameplate on that belt is empty, but it won't be after tonight is through!

 

COACH

'Tha Puerto Rican' will look nice on that nameplate won't it?

 

COLE

What about Dance Dance Dragon?

 

COACH

They wouldn't be able to fit his whole name. It would probably go in as 'DDD'. And that would suck.

 

COLE

They wouldn't be able to fit Tha Puerto Rican into the nameplate would they?

 

COACH

Yes they would.

 

COLE

No they wouldn't.

 

COACH

Yes they would.

 

COLE

No they wouldn't.

 

COACH

Yes they would.

 

COLE

STOP! Let's just get to the match all right!

 

COACH

Yes they would.

 

Christopher Daniels pats down Tha Puerto Rican. He then pats down Dance Dance Dragon. PRL and Triple D engage in a staredown with each other in the center of the ring. Finally, “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

The crowd is hot. PRL and DDD are still staring at each other. PRL has a cocky smirk on his face.

 

COLE

We are underway. The final match in the two month tournament for the vacant X-Division Championship has begun! For the first time since Anglepalooza, tonight, we will have a X-Division Champion here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread!

 

PRL is talking trash to Dragon. Since Dragon is wearing a mask, we can't tell what he's feeling, but considering it's PRL we're talking about, he can't be feeling good now.

 

COACH

The Corporate Champ is psyching out Dance Dance Dragon! He's letting him know what he's in for tonight! Dragon is going to lose in the biggest match of his career!

 

COLE

Coach, stop! Please!

 

Tha Puerto Rican continues running his mouth! Finally, PRL shoves Dragon. But DDD shoves him back! PRL shoves Dragon again. And Dragon shoves him back! PRL doesn't look pleased about that.

 

COLE

Uh-oh! Dragon is surprising PRL here!

 

PRL and Dance Dance Dragon lock up. Both men jockey for position. The lock up takes Puerto and Dragon around the ring. Puerto ends up at a turnbuckle corner, so he climbs up to the top. This allows Triple D the chance to grab PRL and throw him off the top rope and onto the mat! The crowd cheers!

 

COLE

And Dance Dance Dragon with his first big move of the night!

 

COACH

So what? It'll be his last!

 

Tha Puerto Rican can't believe what Dragon just did, but he gets back on his feet. Tha Puerto Rican and Dance Dance Dragon lock up again. This time, P.R. manages a headlock on Dragon. Puerto Rican cinches the hold tight with a smirk on his face. However, Triple D walks towards the ropes, and shoves PRL into the opposite ropes. PR responds with a shoulderblock, knocking Dragon down! PR picks Dance Dance Dragon up and starts nailing him with Rock-style punches to the temple. The punches stagger Dragon. P.R. then grabs Dragon and whips him into a turnbuckle—DDD reverses---PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! Dragon quickly continues his attack by clotheslining PRL, knocking him to the floor!

 

“YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

Whoa! I think Dance Dance Dragon has surprised The Corporate Champ in the early going!

 

COACH

Stay cool, Champ! Stay cool!

 

DDD plays to the crowd, who cheer! PRL gets back to his feet, a little weary. Stephen Joseph Popick and Trinidad are a little worried for Tha Puerto Rican now. PRL taunts a fan at ringside, and then takes a deep breath, before climbing the ring steps. Once P.R. is on the ring apron, Dance Dance Dragon grabs PR and runs with him, knocking his head on a top turnbuckle pad! Dragon then runs with PRL once again and slams his head on another top turnbuckle pad! DDD then grabs Puerto Rican, and gives him a vertical suplex into the ring. HOWEVER, PRL lands on his feet, grabs Dragon, and gives him a Backcracker!

 

COLE

Backcracker on Dragon!

 

COACH

All right! This match is going to end early!

 

Tha Puerto Rican covers DDD. Christopher Daniels counts.

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

COACH

Aw, dangit!

 

“The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican gets up and starts stomping Dragon with his shaky-leg kicks. The crowd starts booing loudly.

 

“P.R. SUCKS!”

“P.R. SUCKS!”

“P.R. SUCKS!”

“P.R. SUCKS!”

 

COLE

67,000 + are chanting 'P.R. SUCKS!'

 

COACH

Ah, Canadians! What do they know?

 

COLE

You do know that PRL's girlfriend is from Canada right?

 

COACH

Well then she is the world's smartest Canadian! Not that she has much competition!

 

COLE

Will you stop?

 

Tha Puerto Rican picks Dance Dance Dragon up by his mask.

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

PRL

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

PRL grabs Triple D by his left arm, and then whips him into the ropes—Dragon reverses—and kicks PRL! He kicks him again! And again knocking him down!

 

COLE

Combo from Dragon!

 

COACH

Oh God! Come on PRL! The freaking Dance Dance Dragon is showing you up! Stop this NOW!

 

COLE

I think Tha Puerto Rican might have underestimated Dance Dance Dragon tonight at AngleMania VI!

 

COACH

No he hasn't! You don't know what you're talking about! Shut up!

 

Dance Dance Dragon picks Tha Puerto Rican up and starts kicking him some more! By now, some of the facepaint on PRL's cheeks has faded away. TPR tries to run away from the kicks, but Dragon keeps on kicking!

 

COLE

You can feel those kicks all over the SkyDome!

 

Kick to the chest! Kick to the back! Kick to the hips! Kick to the legs! Kick to the back again! P.R. goes to the ropes, where Dance Dance Dragon kicks PRL again—NO! PRL scratches Dance Dance Dragon in the mask! The crowd boos!

 

COLE

Now come on! What a cheapshot!

 

COACH

Hey now. Christopher Daniels didn't see that, so it didn't happen!

 

PRL now has a cocky smirk on his face again. Popick and Trinidad are also smiling. Tha Puerto Rican hits DDD with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! Triple D goes down! The boo birds fly again. PRL chuckles a bit. Tha Puerto Rican picks DDD up again. Suddenly, Dragon gets a sudden burst of energy and starts punching PRL in his face! He keeps on punching him, bringing the crowd to life! The punches daze and confuse PRL, so Dragon grabs Puerto Rican and lifts him up onto his shoulders. Triple D then does an Airplane Spin!

 

COLE

Speed Modifier!

 

The crowd cheers some more! Dragon stops doing the Speed Modifier when he becomes dizzy himself. PRL stumbles around the ring dizzied...and then Flair Flops down onto the mat! The crowd laughs.

 

COACH

You gotta be kidding me!

 

COLE

I think, I think maybe, just maybe, Dance Dance Dragon has PRL's number!

 

COACH

Oh no! Don't you dare! Dragon has been lucky so far in this match! But PRL's gonna do it! Someway, somehow, PRL's gonna do it!

 

COLE

How much longer must Dragon be in control before he's no longer lucky, but just good?

 

COACH

He has to beat PRL in order to be considered good!

 

Dance Dance Dragon shakes his head to get rid of his dizziness.

 

STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK

COME ON PUERTO!

 

FELIX “TITO” TRINIDAD

GET UP!

 

Dragon goes for the cover.

 

1...2...RIGHT SHOULDER UP!

 

COACH

Keep trying Dragon.

 

Christopher Daniels puts up two fingers to let the fans know that it's a two count. Dragon does the international “AH NUTS!” hand gesture. He then picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his hair, throwing his Puerto Rican flag bandanna aside. The Strong Style Party Animal kicks PRL in the gut! He then kicks him in his left leg! Then the right leg! The crowd groans with every shot! Dragon kicks PRL in his face! Triple D then grabs Puerto's right arm, and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes—PRL reverses...

 

 

and Dragon goes FLYING over the top rope and onto the floor when Félix “Tito” Trinidad pulls down the top rope!

 

COLE

Hey! Wait a minute!

 

BIG boos for that! Trinidad feigns innocence when Christopher Daniels asks him about it. Dragon is on the floor kissing the protective mats.

 

COACH

He's showing his Lightning Crew loyalty!

 

COLE

I would have thought a professional sports athlete would act better than that.

 

COACH

You live in a dream world then.

 

Stephen Joseph Popick picks Dance Dance Dragon up and throws him back into the ring.

 

COLE

Félix Trinidad making his mark in this match!

 

COACH

All right! Now we can get things back on track! HA HA HA!

 

Puerto Rican pulls Dragon right into the center of the ring so that he can start stomping him again. A LOUD “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up again. He then switches to fist drops to Dragon's head (or mask). P.R.L. then bounces off the ropes, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then POPS HIS COLLAR~! before dropping another fist drop onto Dance Dance Dragon's forehead!

 

COLE

Five Knuckle Shuffle from Tha Puerto Rican!

 

COACH

Yeah! A special AngleMania edition of the Five Knuckle Shuffle! Only Tha Puerto Rican can make that look good!

 

PRL, FTW~!

 

1...2....KICK OUT!

 

P.R. slaps the mat in frustration, and then starts choking Dragon with his bare hands!

 

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

Now come on! Break it up! 1! 2! 3! 4!

 

PRL lets go at 4. He smiles his evil smile at Daniels, who scolds Puerto for the illegal move. The crowd boos.

 

COLE

PRL better be careful. He gets disqualified, he loses this match, and The Lightning Crew goes 3-1 at AngleMania VI!

 

COACH

It's in the air Mikey Cole! We got a new Women's Champion! A new 24/7 Champion! And in just a few moments, we will have a new X-Division Champion! The stars are aligned, Mikey Cole! This IS The Lightning Crew's night!

 

PRL gets up and poses for the fans. They boo. Loudly.

 

COLE

PRL wasting time here!

 

COACH

He's facing Dance Dance Dragon! He can waste time if he wants to!

 

Tha Puerto Rican gives the fans the “UP YOURS!” hand gesture. He then goes back to Dragon, picking him up--

 

 

--Dragon rolls him up!

 

1!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

POPICK PUSHES THEM OVER!

 

1!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

COACH

Oh! I thought that was it!

 

COLE

So did this crowd! But Dragon has kicked out! And this match continues!

 

Dance Dance Dragon and Tha Puerto Rican both get up. At this, Popick grabs Dragon's right foot. Dragon turns around...and gets clotheslined by Tha Puerto Rican over the top rope and onto the floor!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

And Dance Dance Dragon goes to the outside once again!

 

COACH

He can't keep up with the Champ! He's screwed!

 

COLE

I'm just wondering why Tha Puerto Rican needs help then in fending off Dance Dance Dragon?

 

COACH

Uh...because he feels like it! Trust me, PRL can beat Triple D with one arm tied behind his back! Yup!

 

PRL grabs Christopher Daniels referee shirt, gaining his attention. While he does this, Popick grabs Dance Dance Dragon and starts punching him in the face! Popick then throws DDD into a ring post, left shoulder first!

 

COLE

Now come on! This isn't right!

 

COACH

If the referee hasn't seen it, then it didn't happen! God, don't you know wrestling 101?

 

The crowd boos loudly. PRL lets go of Daniels' referee shirt. He smiles at Popick.

 

COLE

PRL and Popick with a double team-type move on Dance Dance Dragon! Triple D is in trouble here!

 

COACH

As if that's a surprise!

 

PRL climbs the top turnbuckle. He waits for Dragon to get up.

 

COACH

Uh-oh! Look out! Air Puerto Rico is gonna fly!

 

PRL is hunched over on the top rope. Dance Dance Dragon is slowly getting to his feet.

 

COLE

Bombs away! Here it comes!

 

Dragon stumbles once he gets to a vertical base. Once he's on his feet, P.R.L. jumps off the top rope and comes crashing down onto Dance Dance Dragon on the outside with a double axehandle!

 

COLE

Corporate Axe from Tha Puerto Rican!

 

PRL shoves a cameraman away after he lands on the outside. He then runs over onto Dragon, gets on top of him, and starts pummeling him with rights and lefts! Popick and Félix Trinidad cheer him on!

 

COLE

The Corporate Champion is in control of Dance Dance Dragon, and I don't think this crowd likes it one bit!

 

COACH

So what? PRL doesn't give a damn about these fans!

 

COLE

What about The Lightning Bolts?

 

COACH

He cares about them, but they're not here tonight!

 

COLE

Right, Coach. Right.

 

PRL rolls back underneath the bottom rope to break the count at 8. He then rolls back out to ringside. PRL picks DDD back up by his costume, and then throws him back into the ring. PRL follows.

 

COLE

And back to the ring we go.

 

PRL picks Dance Dance Dragon up. He then grabs him by his head and runs with him. PRL jumps over the top rope, still holding onto Dragon's head. When PRL lands on the floor, Dragon's neck meets the top rope. As a result, Dragon snaps back off the top rope and onto the mat!

 

COLE

Ricochet from Tha Puerto Rican!

 

PRL then runs around ringside, and climbs the ring steps. He enters the ring and waits for Dragon to get up. Once Dragon gets to his knees, PRL charges forward, jumps over Dragon, and gives him a reverse necksnap! The Lightning Shock!

 

COLE

Oh! Oh my! People shouldn't bend like that!

 

COACH

No DUH~!

 

Tha Puerto Rican goes for the cover, hooking his right leg. 1, 2, Dragon kicks out!

 

PRL

COME ON!

 

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

TWO!

 

Popick claps his hands, encouraging PRL. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican picks Dance Dance Dragon up by his mask and then gives him a BODYSLAM~! The crowd starts buzzing, sensing what's coming up next.

 

COACH

Oh yeah! He's feeling it! He's feeling it!

 

Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring and climbs the top rope. Popick and Trinidad cheer him on.

 

COLE

Are we about to see it? Are we about to see a special AngleMania edition of this move?

 

COACH

We are! We are!

 

PRL is on the top rope. He removes his left elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He points TWO menacing fingers at Dance Dance Dragon, and then sails off the top turnbuckle, doing the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air. Corporate Elbow Drop to a pop!

 

COLE

Corporate Elbow Drop! Could this be it?

 

COACH

Oh yeah baby! A special AngleMania edition of the Corporate Elbow Drop! He's gonna finish Dragon off this way!

 

PRL arrogantly covers Dance Dance Dragon by using Dragon's body as a couch. Christopher Daniels makes the count with Tha Puerto Rican counting along.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR—NO! ONLY TWO!

 

PRL

Damn.

 

COLE

The Corporate Elbow Drop wasn't enough that time.

 

COACH

That was a slow count.

 

COLE

No it wasn't.

 

PR picks Dragon up by his mask and applies a sleeperhold on him!

 

COACH

This will end it! This. Will. End. It!

 

PRL cinches the hold tight. He says something to Dragon while applying the sleeperhold. Christopher Daniels checks on Dragon. The crowd is buzzing.

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon might be out of it!

 

COACH

How can you tell? He's wearing a mask!

 

PRL

ASK HIM IF HE QUITS! ASK HIM!

 

Stephen Joseph Popick and Félix “Tito” Trinidad nod their heads in approval. The crowd comes alive, trying to bring Triple D back into this match. PRL taunts his opponent, laughing manically. Christopher Daniels continues checking on Dragon.

 

COLE

This could be it, Coach!

 

COACH

Another title in PRL's collection!

 

Christopher Daniels raises Triple D's left arm in the air.

 

It falls.

 

1!

 

COACH

Oh boy! Here it comes!

 

Tha Puerto Rican smiles evilly. Daniels raises Dragon's left arm in the air again.

 

It falls.

 

2!

 

COACH

PRL's gonna win! PRL's gonna win! PR WILL WIN!

 

COLE

It might just happen!

 

Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Félix Trinidad are smiling evilly. The crowd is at a fever pitch.

 

COACH

New Women's Champion! New 24/7 Champion! And new X-Division Champion! 4-0 at AngleMania VI!

 

Christopher Daniels raises Dance Dance Dragon's left arm in the air again.

 

It fal--

 

NO! IT STAYS UP!

 

“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COACH

WHAT!?

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon is still alive! He is still in this match!

 

Dance Dance Dragon makes a fist! He starts shaking his fists, causing the crowd to cheer even LOUDER! PRL can't believe it!

 

COACH

Stop him! Stop him! Stop him, Puerto!

 

PRL is going nuts. Dance Dance Dragon gets on his right knee. He then gets to both feet. PRL still has the sleeperhold applied.

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon is feeling it! He's making the comeback!

 

Dragon elbows PRL in his stomach. He does it again! And again! And again! PRL finally lets go of the sleeperhold! Dance Dance Dragon kicks PRL in his stomach! Dragon then charges towards the ropes, jumps onto the second ring rope, jumps off of it, lands on his feet next to PRL, grabs him, and gives him a reverse DDT! Dance Dance DDT!

 

COLE

Dance Dance DDT! The cover!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

Dance Dance Dragon gets right back up. He bounces off the ropes, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then drops a knee onto PRL's forehead! The Strong Style Shuffle! Dragon covers PRL! It gets two.

 

COLE

And another two count! Dragon is on offense now, and is making the most of it!

 

COACH

Come on PR! Come on!

 

Coach's words are the exact same words being spewed by Popick and Félix Trinidad, who are actually now worry for Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd is starting to come to life again. Dragon picks PRL up. By now, ¾ of his facepaint is gone. His hair is matted, and he is breathing hard. The Bemani Bruiser nails The Corporate Champion with right forearms to the face! DDD then whips Tha Puerto Rican into a turnbuckle—NO!--PRL reverses, and Dragon hits the turnbuckle! PRL follows that up with a Stinger Splash! Dragon stumbles out from the turnbuckle, so PRL grabs him and gives him the Lightning Strike!

 

COLE

Lightning Strike! PR's version of the Diamond Cutter that he used to win cruiserweight titles in Puerto Rico! Will it win him the X-Division Title tonight?

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!

 

PSYCH!

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

COACH

I thought that was it!

 

COLE

It wasn't, Coach! The match still continues! Dance Dance Dragon still has a chance at becoming X-Division Champion tonight at AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone!

 

PRL is shocked! He yells at Christopher Daniels, but Daniels tells him it was only a two count. PRL curses in Spanish, and then picks Dance Dance Dragon up. Puerto measures him up, and then starts nailing him with Rock-style punches to the temple. PRL gives Dragon an Irish whip into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but Dragon ducks the clothesline, bounces off the opposite ropes, and hits PRL with a flying clothesline! The crowd cheers! DDD quickly exits the ring and climbs the ropes.

 

COLE

We're gonna see a flying dragon!

 

COACH

Move out of the way, Puerto!

 

DDD looks at the crowd and gives them a thumbs up. He then stands up on the top rope and leaps off, hitting PRL with a DOUBLE STOMP~!

 

COLE

Perfect!

 

COACH

That wasn't perfect!

 

COLE

That's the name of that move! Perfect! Dance Dance Dragon with a double stomp off the top and now he goes for the cover!

 

1!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LEFT SHOULDER UP!

 

“AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”

 

COLE

Only a two count! That was only a two count!

 

“THAT WAS THREE!”

“THAT WAS THREE!”

“THAT WAS THREE!”

“THAT WAS THREE!”

 

COLE

And these fans are disappointed with that two count!

 

COACH

Hey. It was a fair count.

 

COLE

Unfortunately you're right.

 

COACH

Go me!

 

COLE

*Sigh*

 

Dance Dance Dragon can't believe it. He puts up three fingers, but Christopher Daniels only puts up two. Stephen Joseph Popick nods his head, thankful that the match isn't over yet. “Okay! Okay!” He says. Dragon puts his hands on his mask, and then gets up, PRL still on the mat.

 

COACH

Dragon's gonna choke! There's too much pressure for him! He's going to choke!

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon looking to come out on top at his first AngleMania!

 

COACH

Not gonna happen!

 

COLE

Shut up, Coach!

 

Triple D picks Tha Puerto Rican up. After a few punches to the face, The Masked Dance Assassin whips The P.R. Menace into the ropes. P.R. reverses, and when Dragon comes back.

 

SPINNNNEEEEEBUSTAH~!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COACH

Okay! Here we go! Here we go!

 

The crowd starts booing loudly. PRL power walks around the ring, taunting the fans. He then stands over Dance Dance Dragon...and kicks his right arm onto his chest.

 

COACH

AngleMania VI, Toronto, Canada, get ready for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, eh?

 

PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and then throws it down onto Dance Dance Dragon's chest. He then does some weird hand signals, stopping to give Dragon the De-Generation X “SUCK IT!” gesture. P.R. then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Triple D, and then bounces off the opposite ropes.

 

COACH

Here it comes!

 

PRL stops in his tracks...and starts doing Dance Dance Revolution style dance moves, mocking Dragon.

 

COACH

Hey! PRL's not such a bad dancer! Get down! Get down! Get down with your bad self!

 

PRL stops dancing.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

BALLIN'~!

 

And then drops the IntenseZone Elbow to a pop!

 

COLE

Aw geez.

 

PRL goes for the cover.

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DRAGON KICKS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

 

CROWD

PHEW!

 

COLE

The IntenseZone Elbow did not finish this match!

 

COACH

Not even an ANGLEMANIA IntenseZone Elbow!?

 

COLE

...No.

 

PRL slaps the mat in frustration. His face is red. Puerto runs his hands through his hair, and then breathes in deep. He calms himself down.

 

COLE

Tha Puerto Rican and Dance Dance Dragon are giving it their all! They both want to leave AngleMania VI the new X-Division Champion!

 

COACH

How is Dance Dance Dragon lasting this long?

 

COLE

Because he really is a talented OAOAST Superstar! That's why!

 

COACH

Nah. Can't be.

 

PRL gets up, sneering at the crowd.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THAT'S IT!”

 

COLE

And there it is! There's the signal for the Corporate Nightmare!

 

COACH

Oh boy! He's gonna hit it! PRL's gonna win the tournament!

 

Tha Puerto Rican picks Dance Dance Dragon up. He kicks Dragon in his stomach--

 

NO!

 

Dragon grabs Puerto's left leg!

 

COLE

He blocked it!

 

Dance Dance Dragon turns PRL around, grabs him from behind, and lifts him up onto his shoulders, causing the crowd to cheer loudly!

 

COLE

He's going for it! He's going for it! The Bemani Buster! The Bemani Buster!

 

Triple D parades PRL around the ring, getting ready to hit the Bemani Buster! HOWEVER, Stephen Joseph Popick gets on the ring apron. Popick waves his hands around, getting the referee's attention. And not only him, but Dance Dance Dragon as well.

 

COLE

What the--? Oh great! Stephen Joseph Popick is here! That's nice.

 

COACH

Yeah. Isn't it?

 

Popick yells at Daniels, irritating the crowd. Dragon lets go of PRL, dropping him down to the mat. Both men watch Popick argue with the ref. SJP tries to get into the ring, but is held back by Daniels.

 

COLE

What the hell is Popick doing? Why is he trying to get into the ring?

 

COACH

I have no clue, Michael! But it must be a good reason!

 

COLE

Will Christopher Daniels please get him out of here!?

 

Popick enters the ring. He argues with the referee. The crowd is getting hotter by the second, practically BEGGING for Christopher Daniels to do something to Popick.

 

COLE

I'd be careful if I was Stephen Joseph right about now.

 

COACH

Popick ain't afraid of no man!

 

Stephen Joseph Popick touches Christopher Daniels. He then shoves “The Fallen Angel”! The crowd is shocked.

 

COACH

Tell him who's boss!

 

Daniels can't take this crap anymore. Christopher Daniels kicks Popick in the gut...

 

“YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

...places him in between his legs...

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

...hooks his arms...

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

...and gives Popick the ANGEL WINGS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COACH

WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!?

 

COLE

Angel Wings! Angel Wings! Stephen Joseph Popick just got knocked out by the referee, Christopher Daniels, with the Angel Wings!

 

COACH

How could he do that!? That was an abuse of power!

 

COLE

Hey, Popick provoked him!

 

COACH

Doesn't matter! HE SHOULDN'T DO THAT!

 

Popick is out cold, his glasses knocked off his head. Christopher Daniels picks the comatose Popick up, and throws him over to the top rope and onto the floor! Popick hits the floor with a sickening thud! The crowd cheers louder!

 

COACH

OH NO!

 

COLE

Stephen Joseph Popick is out of this match, and it is all thanks to Christopher Daniels!

 

COACH

I don't believe it!

 

And neither can Félix “Tito” Trinidad, who stands there next to Popick with his jaw wide open. Daniels scolds Popick, even though he's unconscious, telling him to stay out of the ring. As he does this, PRL decides this is the perfect time to attack, hitting Dance Dance Dragon with a front dropkick! This sends Dragon right into Christopher Daniels, which causes him to fall out of the ring and onto the floor with a sickening thud!

 

COLE

Oh no! Christopher Daniels has been knocked out of the ring!

 

Daniels lies face down on the protective mats on the outside. The crowd boos.

 

COLE

And he ain't moving.

 

COACH

Serves him right for what he did to Popick!

 

COLE

The referee is down! But PRL and Triple D are up on their feet!

 

Indeed, PRL is up and so is Dragon. The Corporate One attacks DDD with Rock-style punches to the temple, and then whips him into the ropes. PRL goes for a clothesline, but Dragon ducks, stops in his tracks, and grabs PRL, lifting him up onto his shoulders!

 

BEMANI BUSTAH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

 

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

Bemani Buster! Bemani Buster! The improbable run will continue! Dance Dance Dragon is going to do the impossible!

 

COACH

OH NO! OH NO!

 

The crowd, all 67,000-plus, is going nuts! Dance Dance Dragon covers Tha Puerto Rican, but then realizes that Christopher Daniels is still knocked out on the outside. That doesn't stop the crowd from shouting, “1! 2! 3!” though. Dragon is disappointed when he sees Daniels still on the outside.

 

COLE

Dragon has the pin! But Christopher Daniels is not here!

 

COACH

And it's all Dragon's fault too!

 

COLE

What? PRL kicked Dragon right into Daniels, you idiot!

 

COACH

But Dragon is the one who made contact with Daniels, so therefore it's his fault!

 

COLE

Oh come on!

 

Dragon doesn't know what to do. He gets up and looks around. The only person still moving other than Dragon is Félix Trinidad, who is rooting for PRL to get up. Then, the crowd turns their attention to the entrance.

 

COACH

Here comes the calvary!

 

Cuban Wall enters the ring. He goes for a clothesline, but Dance Dance Dragon ducks the clothesline, and starts beating on Cuban Wall!

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon beating up the new 24/7 Champion!

 

Mr. Boricua enters the ring, and Dance Dance Dragon immediately starts beating him up!

 

COLE

Dragon's taking care of Mr. Boricua now!

 

COACH

Get him! Get him!

 

The punches stagger the big man, but don't cause him to fall. They do take him to the ropes, however. DDD takes turns beating on Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall. But then, Vitamin X enters the ring and goes SPEARS~! Dragon!

 

COACH

BOO-YAH~!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Vitamin X gets on top of Dragon, and starts hammering him with lefts and rights!

 

COACH

Get him X-Man! Get him!

 

COLE

The X-Man dominating Dance Dance Dragon right about now!

 

COACH

Just like he dominated Caboose and Some Guy earlier tonight!

 

VX picks Dance Dance Dragon up and whips him into the ropes. Dragon reverses, and holds on! OSAKA STREET CUTTER!

 

COLE

Down goes Prince Vitamin!

 

The crowd is going crazy! DDD kicks Vitamin X out of the ring to the crowd's delight! He then goes back to work on Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall.

 

COLE

Stephen Joseph Popick is down! Vitamin X is down! Tha Puerto Rican is down! And Christopher Daniels is down!

 

COACH

This is chaos! Whose gonna become the X-Division Champion!?!?!

 

Princess Stacey comes out to check on Vitamin X on the outside. Thomas Rodriguez comes out, but then changes his mind at the last second to enter the ring.

 

COLE

Thomas wants to stay behind!

 

COACH

Thomas, I know you're a referee and not a wrestler, but for Godsakes man, get in there and help your boss!

 

COLE

He's a real coward, isn't he?

 

COACH

Oh hush up, Cole!

 

The Bone Thug comes out, and he's about to enter the ring when Félix Trinidad stops him. Trinidad whispers something in Bone Thug's left ear, bringing a smile to his face. He then reaches into his left breast pocket and pulls out something which he gives to Bone Thug.

 

COLE

This is total chaos! Almost all The Lightning Crew is at ringside! PRL is knocked out! So is Stephen Joseph Popick! And so is the referee Christopher Daniels! “The Fallen Angel” is out cold! Only Félix “Tito” Trinidad and Dance Dance Dragon are on their feet!

 

COACH

The Bone Thug is on his feet too! Look!

 

The Bone Thug nods his head at Trinidad, and then slides into the ring. He pulls out...a slapjack! Which he uses on Triple D, knocking him down from behind!

 

COLE

Oh! What a shot! It's—it's a slapjack! Bone Thug has just hit Dance Dance Dragon with a slapjack!

 

COACH

A slapjack given to him by Félix Trinidad! Who knew he had that with him!?

 

COLE

I don't think anyone did! ESPECIALLY Dance Dance Dragon!

 

DDD is down on the mat! The crowd is shocked at what they've just seen. The Bone Thug starts stomping on Dragon, and soon, Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall join in. The crowd boos even louder!

 

COLE

And now this! A beatdown on Dance Dance Dragon! As though he needed this!

 

COACH

He does Michael!

 

COLE

But I thought PRL could beat Dragon with one arm tied behind his back!

 

COACH

................

 

COLE

That shut you up.

 

Trinidad nods his head in approval of this beatdown. While Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and The Bone Thug beat down Dragon, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Princess Stacey enter the ring and try to wake PRL up.

 

COACH

I would love to be woken up by those two.

 

Lindsay and Stacey help PRL up to his feet. PRL is dazed and confused. His facepaint is all gone. His eyes are glazed over.

 

COACH

THE CHAMP IS UP~!

 

COLE

Oh please.

 

Tha Puerto Rican is able to shake the cobwebs out of his head. Lindsay and Stacey hold PRL up as he gets his head back into this match. When they ask if he is fine, PRL nods his head. Meanwhile, Dance Dance Dragon is knocked out from the beatdown.

 

COLE

Dance Dance Dragon has been beaten to dust! He is out of this match!

 

COACH

Yes!

 

PRL receives a kiss from Lindsay and then a kiss from Stacey, and then walks over to where Dance Dance Dragon is. PRL tells Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and The Bone Thug to stop kicking DDD. The Bone Thug puts the slapjack inside his left pocket. Mr. Boricua is still kicking Triple D even after PRL tells them to stop, so Cuban Wall yells and Mr. Boricua finally stops. PRL applauds his men on a job well done, which causes Mr. Boricua to smile like an idiot.

 

PRL

I've got this now!

 

Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Princess Stacey leave the ring. PRL picks Dance Dance Dragon up. With a sneer etched on his face, The Corporate Champion has only two words to say to Dance Dance Dragon.

 

“Fuck. You.”

 

KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

 

COLE

Corporate Nightmare! The Corporate Nightmare! And Dance Dance Dragon is OUT!

 

COACH

YES! YES! YES! COVER HIM! COVER HIM! COVER HIM!

 

And yes, Tha Puerto Rican covers Dance Dance Dragon, hooking his left leg. The crowd starts booing. PRL orders for someone to throw Christopher Daniels back into the ring.

 

COLE

Oh no! Oh no! Don't tell me! Please don't! It's not going to end this way! No way!

 

Cuban Wall grabs the unconscious Fallen Angel and throws him back into the ring. The booing gets louder.

 

COLE

No! Stop this! Stop this! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY STOP THIS!

 

Christopher Daniels slowly crawls over to where PRL and DDD are. The Lightning Crew and Félix “Tito” Trinidad are on the outside cheering. Stephen Joseph Popick is still knocked out.

 

COACH

They're gonna do it! HE'S gonna do it!

 

COLE

You were right the first time, Coach! The Lightning Crew is responsible for this! And now, they are about three seconds away from giving Tha Puerto Rican ANOTHER title in the OAOAST!

 

Christopher Daniels gets to where PRL and Dragon are, with PRL nodding his head.

 

COACH

Here it comes! HERE IT COMES!

 

“The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican still has Dance Dance Dragon covered, hooking his left leg. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Mr. Boricua, Princess Stacey, Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, Thomas Rodriguez, and Félix “Tito” Trinidad are already going nuts. Stephen Joseph Popick is still knocked out. “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels makes the count, with the crowd shocked.

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 ½

 

COLE

Please kick out, Dragon! Please kick out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

COACH

Yes.

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

COACH

YES! YES! YES!

 

*DING DING DING* (20:00)

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

The tournament is over! We've got a new X-Division Champion!

 

“Know Your Role '99” begins playing. PRL raises his hands in victory, while the crowd sits shocked. The Lightning Crew and Félix “Tito” Trinidad are going crazy. Dance Dance Dragon is breathing hard and holding his head in pain.

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner...and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion...”The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

 

Christopher Daniels raises PRL's hands in victory. PR laughs manically.

 

COLE

After a two month wait, we have a X-Division Champion here in the OAOAST! And that man is “The Corporate Champion”!

 

COACH

Yes! PRL has another title in his resume! The CORPORATE X-Division Champion! What a night! The Lightning Crew has added another title tonight at AngleMania VI!

 

COLE

Under controversial circumstances, PRL has won the title! And now, the X-Division Title is vacant no more! PRL has won the OAOAST X-Division Championship for the first time in his career!

 

PRL is sitting up when Christopher Daniels hands PRL over the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt. He then leaves the ring. PRL looks at his newly won title and smiles evilly. He then raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head, drawing boos. The Lightning Crew and Félix Trinidad applaud.

 

COACH

This will be a night The Lightning Crew will never forget! Three Lightning Crew members now hold titles in the OAOAST! That's the first time that's ever happened! The Lightning Crew is bigger and stronger and better than ever!

 

Tha Puerto Rican stands up and continues raising the OAOAST X-Division Championship over his head. PR, despite being fatigued, still has enough energy to run his mouth and taunt the fans as he parades around the ring with his newly won belt. Triple D is still on the mat, knocked out.

 

COLE

The miracle run of Dance Dance Dragon has come up short tonight at AngleMania VI! PRL has managed to stop the amazing streak Dance Dance Dragon was on these past few months, even if he did it under suspicious circumstances! Tha Puerto Rican can now add the X-Division Title to his already impressive career!

 

PRL points to the belt and says, “That's mine now! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!” He then orders The Lightning Crew to enter the ring. They do so. PRL then gives them directions.

 

COLE

What's he doing now?

 

COACH

Something good I bet.

 

COLE

I doubt it.

 

PRL looks at The Lightning Crew as “Know Your Role '99” dies down. PRL nods his head...and The Lightning Crew start doing a beatdown on Dance Dance Dragon!

 

COLE

Oh come on! That's enough! Didn't he already go through enough abuse during the match!?

 

COACH

This beatdown is for all the trouble Dance Dance Dragon gave Tha Puerto Rican during the match! It's payback time! Oh yeah!

 

COLE

That's enough! Somebody stop this!

 

A LOUD “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up. Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, and even Thomas Rodriguez put the boots to Dance Dance Dragon while PRL directs traffic. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Princess Stacey cheer them on.

 

COLE

The Lightning Crew are capping off their historic night with THIS! Another beatdown!

 

COACH

It's one of the things they do best!

 

COLE

Well what else do they do best?

 

COACH

Win titles, that's what! BOO-YES!

 

The LC continue their beatdown. PRL even gets a few shots in. Dance Dance Dragon is now a quivering bowl full of jelly. He lies in the fetal position as The Lightning Crew continue laying the boots on him!

 

COLE

This is pathetic! The Lightning Crew is on top of the world. They don't need to do this!

 

COACH

You're right. But they do it because it's fun! Welcome to the big time Dance Dance Dragon!

 

PRL tells Félix Trinidad to come into the ring. Trinidad is surprised by this, but he eventually enters the ring.

 

COLE

Here comes Félix Trinidad, he's in the ring. He played a HUGE part in PRL's victory tonight.

 

COACH

He did. But it wasn't entirely his fault. With the whole world watching, Dance Dance Dragon CHOKED on the big stage!

 

COLE

Coach, that's not true! Dance Dance Dragon proved he deserved to be here in the OAOAST tonight at AngleMania VI! He damn near won the Title!

 

COACH

But he didn't win, and that's all that matters! Besides, Dance Dance Dragon surprised PRL all match! THAT'S why he did so good! If PRL was better prepared, he would have won it in a cake walk!

 

COLE

Now that's just bull, Coach! It's bull!

 

COACH

No, it's the truth, Ruth!

 

Félix “Tito” Trinidad has entered the ring. PRL tells Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua to pick Dance Dance Dragon up. They do so. PRL orders them to throw Triple D to him. They do so. PRL holds the unconscious DDD up and offers Trinidad a shot. P.R.L. nods his head fast, telling Trinidad to “Hit him right in the kisser!”

 

COACH

Now Trinidad wants some!

 

COLE

He wants to add insult to injury!

 

Trinidad has an evil smile on his face as he gets ready. He spits in his hands and then rubs them together. He then cracks his knuckles. Félix Trinidad winds up, a big evil grin on his face, and then charges forward, hitting Dance Dance Dragon right in the face with a WICKED left hook! PRL lets Dance Dance Dragon drop to the mat! The Lightning Crew all laugh manically while the crowd boos!

 

COACH

Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Did you see that? Félix Trinidad just knocked out Dance Dance Dragon with that WICKED left hook! The same left hook that has won him countless matches and numerous titles! 35 of his 42 wins were by knockout, and Dance Dance Dragon just found out why right now!

 

Trinidad smiles and poses, receiving boos. PRL high fives Trinidad and then raises his hands. PRL laughs at Dragon's misery.

 

COACH

I love this night! I absolutely love it! This is the best AngleMania EVER!

 

Félix Trinidad stands over the fallen Triple D and talks trash to him, all in Spanish. He then slaps him across his (mask)face several times, further irritating the crowd!

 

COLE

Félix Trinidad is paint-brushing Dance Dance Dragon! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is the new X-Division Champion, with a little help from his friends!

 

COACH

Aren't his friends great?

 

“Know Your Role '99” starts playing again. PRL high fives Trinidad again, and then brings him in for a hug. PRL slings the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his right shoulder as he leaves the ring, smiling evilly. The rest of The Lightning Crew follow him.

 

COLE

Well, after 2 months, we've gone from 16 men to only one. Tha Puerto Rican is now on top of the OAOAST X-Division! And you can bet he will have a lot of men gunning for him!

 

COACH

You wish you could have men gunning after you.

 

COLE

Yes.

 

PRL meets up with Popick outside the ring. PRL and Popick chat. Popick is holding his head, still feeling the effects of the Angel Wings. He is also holding PRL's black spray-painted briefcase. PRL laughs at something Popick said. Tha Puerto Rican then talks to Cuban Wall. Wall shows off his newly won OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt. PRL shows off his newly won OAOAST X-Division Championship belt. Both men laugh evilly, and then PRL jumps onto Cuban Wall's shoulders. PRL raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head with an evil smile on his face while Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt in the air at the same time. Garbage is thrown in their direction.

 

COACH

Two great champions! Cuban Wall is going to do the 24/7 Championship proud! And PRL will make the X-Division Title his own, just like he made the 24/7 Title his own! 4 victories for The Lightning Crew tonight! I love it!

 

The Lightning Crew, Félix “Tito” Trinidad, and Stephen Joseph Popick get onto a ring cart. The ring cart takes them to the entrance. PRL, Cuban Wall, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez raise their titles in the air while the rest of The Lightning Crew, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Félix Trinidad cheer. The crowd boos as “Know Your Role '99” continues playing. The ring cart stops short of the entrance so that everybody in the cart and come out and pose. Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez all stand together and raise their respective belts in the air while smiling evilly in a photo op.

 

COACH

4-0! I can't believe it! I mean, I knew it was going to happen, but still, I don't believe it! Way to go Lightning Crew! You know I'll always have your back!

 

COLE

What a historic night for The Lightning Crew, quite possibly the greatest night in their history! New OAOAST Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! New OAOAST 24/7 Champion Cuban Wall! Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug defeated two OAOAST Originals in Caboose and Some Guy! And of course, the new OAOAST X-Division Champion “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican! The Lightning Crew dominates at AngleMania!

 

At the entrance, The Lightning Crew, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Félix “Tito” Trinidad are still celebrating. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while holding the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt with his left hand. He smiles evilly. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez also smiles evilly as she raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt with her left hand. Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his head. The Bone Thug plays to the crowd on one side of the Toronto SkyDome, while Thomas Rodriguez plays to the crowd on the other side. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle while laughing evilly. Mr. Boricua yells, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. Princess Stacey applauds The Lightning Crew. Félix “Tito” Trinidad poses for the crowd, while Stephen Joseph Popick just holds his head with his left hand, and Tha Puerto Rican's black spray-painted briefcase with his right hand. All of this while “Know Your Role '99” has to start playing again. This is the last image we see before the camera fades to black.

Edited April 3, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

In the beginning, there was an imaginary beltshot.

 

JR: Good Evening, BAH GAWD, and Welcome to AngleMania!

 

Join us this Thursday night as the OAOAST celebrates its 5th anniversary.

 

HeldDOWN~!

 

The One & Only AngleSault Thread, 5 years of memories and mayhem.

 

We now cut back to the ringside area once more tonight to finally begin the Main Event for AngleMania VI. Michael Buffer is already standing in the ring with the microphone in his hand.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, our Main Event tonight for AngleMania VI is scheduled for ONE FALL and it is for the OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

 

The sold-out crowd of 50,000 rabid and screaming Toronto fans roar excitedly in unison as they are only minutes away from personally seeing one of the most intense showdowns in professional wrestling history.

 

The camera cuts backstage to find Zack Malibu solemnly walking through a nearby hallway fixing his elbowpads in his last few steps before getting close to the entranceway.

 

COLE

And there he is. The challenger to the World Heavyweight Title. Zack Malibu hasn't received an AngleMania opportunity like this in three whole years.

 

COACH

And when you consider exactly who he's fighting against tonight...Cole, you can just tell that he's going to give this thing absolutely every bit he has.

 

As he strides past a group of stagehands and a few television technicians staring at a nearby monitor, he stops only seconds away from the curtains leading into the wild pandemonium of the Toronto Skydome. Looking directly into the camera, but refusing to say a word, Zack takes a deep breath and rolls his neck along his shoulders as he waits to hear his music begin. Sure enough, as the beginning chords of "Getting Away With Murder" start to blast over the speakers, the fans go absolutely CRAZY with ecstatic cheers!

 

And with that, Zack Malibu pulls aside the curtains and steps out to the top of the ramp to an INSANELY passionate reaction from his adoring fans.

 

COLE

Oh my God! Coach, do you hear that?!

 

COACH

To be honest Cole, I don't know if I've heard anything louder in my life. My God!

 

As he strolls down to ringside, Zack takes the time to slap a few hands stretched across the guardrail, but he's not all smiles tonight. He's not the fan-interactive, happy-go-lucky, eloquent spokesperson of the OAOAST tonight. He looks angry. He looks intense. And most importantly, he looks ready. As he gets closer to the ring, Michael Buffer gives him his introduction.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first is the challenger. Hailing from Providence, Rhode Island and weighing in at one-hundred and eighty-five pounds. He is a former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion, former OAOAST 24-7 Champion, former co-holder of the OAOAST Tag Team Titles and a former HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion among many other accomplishments. He arrived here tonight by winning the Lethal Rumble at AnglePalooza and is hoping to become the only three-time OAOAST Heavyweight Champion in federation history! Please welcome ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALLLLLLLLLLLIBUUUUUUUUUUUUU~!

 

With that, Zack rolls into the ring and salutes the crowd with his fist in the air, getting an amazing positive reaction in return! Grinning politely to thank the fans for their warm hospitality, Zack then moves over to one side of the ring and proudly raises his right arm, sending the crowd into near-hysterics. A few select fans in the front row even do the whole "We're not worthy" thing as Zack continues gazing at the massive sea of people before him.

 

COLE

And once again, I can not think of any man alive today that can rival the kind of reaction that Zack Malibu is receiving tonight.

 

COACH

These people are ready to see him beat Drek Stone tonight. They're ready to see him boost his spotless AngleMania record to 5-0! The only person who's not ready for that...is Drek Stone.

 

As Zack climbs a nearby turnbuckle and raises his arms to the crowd once more, basking in the blinding luminance of nearly 50,000 camera flashbulbs popping simultaneously, the lights dramatically fade until the arena is shrouded in darkness.

 

The soft percussion drums of the Heavyweight Champion's theme song begins to echo over the loudspeakers.

 

The light strings of the initial guitar solo can also be heard as the song starts to pick up a little tempo only a few seconds in.

 

With that though...

 

BOOM~!

 

...an impressive and flashy golden rocket shoots to the rafters of the building from the arena floor and explodes magnificently in a sparkling display. Immediately afterwards, a MASSIVE Italian flag unfurls from the catwalk above the entranceway, ending just as it reaches the beginning of the long metal ramp. Looking as though it was tailored for this particular purpose, the Italian flag waves slightly as the lyrics finally begin.

 

Woke Up This Morning

Got Yourself A Gun

Mama Always Said You'd Be

The Chosen One

 

Drek Stone then dramatically rises up on a lift through a hole at the top of the entranceway to a RABID chorus of boos! Now proudly standing in front of the Italian flag, Drek turns and stares at the banner with a pleased grin on his face before turning his attention back towards the ring. Dressed in a brand new pair of golden tights with black trim outlining the design, and the name "Drek Stone" displayed on the back of his pants in fancy script writing. Yet instead of strapping the Heavyweight Title around his waist to complete the shiny golden look, the champion simply has his belt draped over his left shoulder as if he can't even bother to give the title a second thought. He just narrows his eyes and stares down the long, long aisleway of the Toronto Skydome at his arch-rival standing in the ring.

 

COACH

There is the man, Michael Cole. The man that is looking to finally end Zack Malibu's undefeated AngleMania streak tonight and put himself in the record books in the process. The man that is looking to conquer his past demons and defeat the one guy that has been a thorn in his side for years now. Cole, you are looking at Drek Stone -- the man that is walking into AngleMania VI with the title and will be walking out of this show with that belt as well.

 

COLE

I'll give him this, Coach...he looks determined. Very determined. As serious and intense as Zack Malibu looks right now, Drek Stone looks just as passionate. The bad blood you can sense between these two is just amazing!

 

As Drek slowly walks down the aisleway, absorbing the crushing amount of boos surfacing in the building with a slight grin on his face, he stares out at the sold-out crowd and almost seems to be in awe of the position he's in tonight. As he continues his walk though, Michael Buffer starts his introduction, raising his voice to drown out the jeers.

 

BUFFER

And now...he hails from the streets of Brooklyn, New York and weighs in tonight at a toned two-hundred and ten pounds. He is a former Italian Champion and a two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Tonight, he is looking to establish his legacy in the record books once and for all by defeating his most hated rival. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the World Heavyweight Champion....DRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEK STOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!

 

Stone walks down the aisle, a confident smirk on his face as he moves closer and closer towards the one thing he's avoided all these months. Whether the smirk is part of a mind game, or legitimate arrogance, is up for debate. With the World Title slung over his shoulder, Drek continues on down the aisle, all eyes on him, but not more focused than those of Zack Malibu.

 

COLE

So much emotion, so much pride at stake here in this contest. We've had a great night so far, and we've had some of the hottest action to date, but this right here friends is the money match!

 

COACH

You got that right...that is, if Drek actually gets into the ring.

 

Pausing at the top of the ramp, Stone takes the belt off his shoulder and raises it up in the air, showcasing his trophy possession to the capacity crowd, and more importantly, to his despised rival. Malibu stands firm yet impatient, never taking his eyes off the cocky superstar who has tried to ruin his company and his career. As his music fades, the already evident boos sound louder than ever, as the crowd vocalizes its hatred for the man supposedly representing the OAOAST as champion.

 

COLE

There's no doubt who the crowd favorite is tonight, and Drek Stone is not it!

 

COACH

Brilliant deduction, Mikey.

 

Stone finally comes up on the apron, pacing across it while eyeing Malibu. Drek then grins and leans over the ropes, dangling the belt in front of Malibu's eyes as if to say "come and get it". Malibu starts to move forward, but as soon as he takes a step, Stone hops off the apron, chuckling as Earl Hebner motions for Zack to take a step back and give Drek some space.

 

"GET IN THE RING!"

"GET IN THE RING!"

"GET IN THE RING!"

 

Stone turns to the crowd, appalled at the chant. He moves to the timekeepers table and hands the World Title over, but not before planting a kiss on it.

 

COLE

What an act. As if that title means anything to him.

 

COACH

I hope that was the goodbye kiss, and so do this crowd!

 

Still taunted by chants of "GET IN THE RING!", Stone walks up the steps and onto the apron, entering through the middle ropes...but again, it's a fakeout, as he steps back on the apron and starts complaining to Hebner that he needs to keep Malibu back, despite the fact that Malibu is about five feet away from his opponent. Again, the heat is intense, as the crowd lets Stone have it for his cowardice.

 

COACH

I had no idea that Stone was trained by Larry Zbysko.

 

COLE

Heh, you know Coach, that was actually a good one.

 

Malibu yells "Come on!" to Drek, but if you think Drek listens, you haven't paid attention to the history between the two workers. Instead, Drek hops down off the apron once again, wagging his finger "no"...and THAT'S IT. Malibu knocks Hebner aside and slides out under the bottom rope after Stone! Trying to catch his rival off-guard, Drek tries for a lariat, but Malibu ducks it, swings around, and nails Drek with one of his own to a MONSTER pop, as the two stars finally make contact! Zack pulls Drek up and braces his head with his left hand, pummelling him twice with rights before taking him by the arm and sending him into the guardrail! The fans roar as Malibu charges in, driving his knee into the gut of the World Champion before taking his right hand and beating Drek senseless, rocking him with shot after shot until Drek slumps to the floor in a seated position! From there, Malibu starts stomping away, taking out his frustrations every time he drives the heel of his boot into Drek's chest. Hebner grabs Zack in a rear waistlock and tries to pry Zack away, but Malibu breaks, turns to see who grabbed him, and pushes the referee away! He turns and brings Drek up to his feet, hooking his arm under Drek's, and then biels him across the ringside area, tossing Stone hard on his back on the floor! Only moments in and the champion has the wind knocked out of him, probably wishing he had never decided to torment the OAOAST's favorite son.

 

COLE

Malibu is enraged, and rightfully so after all he's endured. Lucky for him we haven't heard a bell yet, because Hebner had every right in the book to call the match right then and there when Zack put his hands on him!

 

Malibu moves towards Drek, who slowly rolls onto his stomach and tries to rise up. When he does, Zack quickly grabs him by the head and slams him facefirst into the ring apron, then shoves him into the ring. Drek crawls across the canvas as Malibu follows him in, and once both men get between the ropes, Hebner frantically calls for the bell before sliding in under the bottom rope to try and maintain a semblance of order.

 

*DING**DING*DING*

 

COACH

Oh it's ON now!

 

Drek gets up, but when he turns around, the only thing he sees is Malibu's fist coming at him, as he's stunned by another right hand. Zack then takes his arm and uses it to propel him into the corner, and follows up with a hard running clothesline! Stone slumps against the turnbuckles, but Malibu holds him up, then gets up on the second rope and opens fire, with the crowd counting along the whole way.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

FIVE!

 

SIX!

 

SEVEN!

 

EIGHT!

 

NINE!

 

TEN!

 

Drek is woozy, but manages not to fall over as he's sent to the opposite corner by Malibu, who follows up by charging in and splattering Stone with a Stinger Splash! Malibu backs away as Drek stumbles out of the corner, and Zack nails him with a drop, dropping him on his back! Stone hits the mat but just as quickly rolls over and pushes up, only to be met with a kneelift from Malibu that keeps him off his game! Zack backs him to the ropes and sends him across, but Drek manages to counter, and sends Malibu in. Zack rebounds, baseball sliding between Drek's legs, coming up behind him and taking Drek down with an STO just as soon as he turns around! The fans roar as Malibu stays atop Drek, rattling him with punches until the World Champion is able to throw him off! Zack gets up and goes right for Drek, but this time the champion takes the high road, rolling out of the ring holding his head, avoiding any more of Malibu's onslaught!

 

COLE

Zack Malibu has opened fire in a big way here tonight, showing no mercy for the World Champion!

 

Hebner makes the count, but as he does, Zack attempts to head to the floor to battle Drek. Hebner stops Malibu and backs him up, and when Malibu brushes past him, Hebner pushes Malibu back, telling him the bell has rung and he's not afraid to call for a disqualification. Amidst all that, Drek reluctantly gets up on the apron and slowly enters the ring. When he does, Malibu blows past Hebner and ties up with his foe, looking to gain the edge once again! They jockey for position, and Malibu backs Drek into the corner. Hebner calls for the break, but Zack won't give it. When he does give it, he backs away for not even a second before rocking Drek with a flurry of right hands that don't stop until Hebner drags Zack away! Zack looks at the referee in disbelief, but Earl yells at him about giving a clean break and listening to what he says! Malibu comes face to face with Hebner, but as he listens to the ref, Drek rushes out of the corner and jumps over Hebner's back, jabbing his thumb into Malibu's eye!

 

COACH

That son of a...

 

Malibu immediately hunches over, favoring his eye, and Drek goes to town, pounding him across the back with forearm shots before throwing him into the corner! From there, he kicks Malibu in the gut repeatedly, then takes his forearm and presses it against Zack's throat, looking to choke him out! Once again, Heber calls for a break, and has it fall on deaf ears, as Stone continues to try and rob Malibu of his air supply! Finally, Hebner comes between them and pushes Drek away, while Malibu does his best to regain his wind.

 

COLE

Earl Hebner is going to have a hell of a time keeping control in this one!

 

Drek comes over and lifts Malibu's head up, then peppers him with a pair of jabs before grabbing him in a front facelock and suplexing him over. Drek gets up and hits the ropes, just as Malibu rolls onto all fours, and the champion delivers a hard soccer kick to his stomach, doubling him over. Drek then plants his foot into Malibu's cheek as the challenger tries getting to his feet, then drags Zack up himself...only for Malibu to quickly take his legs out from under him! Drek collapses to the mat, and Malibu holds his legs in a wishbone split, then stomps him in the soft spot, drawing a loud pop from the crowd while Drek squirms! Hebner warns Zack, but Zack could care less about the infraction, as he brings Drek up and lifts him as if for a back suplex...then crotches him across the top rope! Drek moans in agony as Malibu runs to the corner and leaps to the top, then leaps back with a dropkick that catches Drek on the chin and sends him down to the floor!

 

COACH

Zack's intensity here has really thrown Drek's game plan off.

 

COLE

I don't see why it would. I've never seen Zack Malibu look so hungry. He's not going to stop tonight until Drek Stone kills him.

 

COACH

It's very possible we could see that, Cole. Don't ever underestimate what Drek Stone would do.

 

As Drek sits on the floor and shakes his head to get some of the cobwebs out, Zack silently stares at him from the center of the ring. Once Drek moves up to his knees and starts to stand though, the challenger takes this as his cue to continue the assault. Intent on continuing to inflict pain, Zack runs and bounces himself off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring.

 

COACH

I don't like where this is going.

 

Now that Drek's up, he turns his head towards the ring to catch Zack Malibu sprinting towards him in the ring. Once he gets close enough, Zack leaps up and OVER the top rope with a suicide plancha!!

 

But Drek, just a little quicker this time, SIDESTEPS OUT OF THE WAY!

 

With that, Zack's momentum sends him just a little too far as he goes CRASHING into the Spanish ringside announcing table!

 

COACH

WHAT A MOVE!

 

COLE

OH MY GOD!

 

ALEJANDRO ESTRADA LOPEZ HERNANDEZ WHATEVER

AY DIOS MIO~!

 

The table immediately shatters upon impact into fragments of wood and plastic as Zack Malibu quickly holds his ribs and starts moaning in pain.

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

COLE

And for the first time in this match, one of the combatants is in serious trouble!

 

COACH

See Cole, sometimes intensity can be the worst thing to have. Zack was a little too intense and now he's paying for it!

 

Earl Hebner quickly rolls out of the ring and runs towards the challenger's side, kneeling down to see if he needs any medical attention. Drek Stone couldn't care less. Refusing to watch Zack Malibu get coddled again, Drek places his hand over the referee's face and shoves him right down to the floor without wasting a second of time.

 

COLE

That's disgusting! What the hell is wrong with him?!

 

COACH

What...he's supposed to sit by and watch Earl Hebner give Zack Malibu some time to recover? To hell with that. This is the Main Event of AngleMania VI, Cole. This isn't the first round of the little league baseball playoffs.

 

Drek comes over to the wreckage, kicking table shrapnel aside, as Malibu lay prone on the floor. Pulling Malibu up from the remnants of the Spanish announce table, the World Champion takes the limp form of his challenger and lifts him up, dropping him forward across the metal barricade!

 

COLE

Zack crashed through that table, and now Drek adds to his agony by smashing his ribs down onto that guardrail!

 

Front row fans get on their feet in protest, shouting obscenities and making gestures at Stone, while their hero slumps over and falls back on the floor. Stone smirks at the crowd, and knocks on fan's beer smack out of his hand, then points his finger in another's face, telling the startled woman to "take you fat ass back to your seat!" Drek then plants his foot across Malibu's throat, stepping down and again looking to cut off his oxygen intake! Feeling that Malibu is sufficiently weakened, Drek brings him up to his feet, grabbing him by the back of the head and the waist of his tights, and shoves him forward into the ring apron, again bruising his injured ribs! Malibu falls to one knee, but Drek comes over and shoves him up under the bottom rope, then turns to the crowd and flips them off before turning his attention back to the ring.

 

COACH

Crowd interaction at its finest.

 

Malibu rolls onto his back, and Drek is quick to follow with a slingshot elbowdrop on his enemy. Stone stays on top of Zack, going for the first cover of the contest, as Earl Hebner slips back in for it.

 

ONE!

 

TW-KICKOUT!

 

The fans roar, but Drek doesn't seem put off, almost as if he knew that wouldn't be enough. He runs the ropes and comes back with an elbow, falling forward as he drives the point of his elbow into Zack's throat. Drek then follows with a kneedrop, spiking Malibu right in the temple, and goes again for the cover, cradling Malibu's leg during the count.

 

ONE!

 

TW-NO!

 

COLE

A pair of near falls there, and Stone seems to be working on making sure that Malibu doesn't recover from his crash landing moments ago.

 

Stone drags Malibu to his feet again, rocking him with a European uppercut that sends him back against the ropes. Malibu's kept upright by the ropes, and Drek pulls him forward, leveling him with a short-arm clothesline that puts him down again! Malibu's not down for long though, as Stone reaches down and pulls Zack up, asking the crowd "Is THIS your hero!?" as he takes his knee and rams it into the side of Zack's head! Stone watches Malibu drop to all fours, and goes and pulls him up, spins him around, and takes him over with a Northern Lights Suplex!

 

ONE!

 

TW-NO!

 

The crowd comes alive, as Malibu fights up, holding onto Drek's waist as they rise! Malibu turns both he and Drek so that Drek rests in a standing headscissors, but before Malibu can follow up, Drek pushes him back, into the corner! From there Drek works Zack over with shoulderblocks, again focusing on the ribs! Malibu doubles over as Drek connects with a series of shoulderblocks, then sends Zack across the ring...or NOT, as Malibu reverses the whip and sends Drek crashing into the opposing corner! Stone collides, and is momentarily stunned, and that's all Zack needs as he races into the corner and throws a leg up, drilling Drek across the face with a running boot! Drek falls on his ass, seated against the corner, as Malibu starts hammering on the top of his head with punches! Zack backs away, giving Drek some space...but it's not to be gracious, as Malibu was simply getting a running start, as he rams his knee into Drek's face! Zack leads Drek to his feet, then pops him with a headbutt before running the ropes and nailing him with a spinning wheel kick!

 

COLE

Malibu's on the comeback trail, but his body is feeling a lot more hurt than maybe he expected.

 

COACH

Crashin' through the Spanish announce table will do that to ya. Those poor guys can't catch a break!

 

Zack again pulls Drek up, and this time starts biting him, right above his eye! Drek waves his arms, pleading for Hebner to break it up, and the longtime official immediately jumps on the case, prying Malibu away from Stone. Blood drips from Stone's eyebrow, as Malibu succeeded in opening a wound, tearing Stone's flesh with his own teeth. As Stone wipes the blood from his eye Malibu measures him up, then charges forward, spearing him out of his boots and taking him down! Malibu struggles with Drek, but then mounts his shoulders, smashing him with elbows to further open up the wound!

 

COLE

The feud with Bruce Blank rapidly developed Zack's brawling, anything goes nature, and what better victim for him than a man that he may hate even more than Bruce himself!

 

Drek panics, throwing Zack off of him, but as the two men get to their feet, Zack rocks him with a straight jab right over the eye, then keeps up the flurry, using three more jabs to put Drek on spaghetti legs! As he hobbles, Malibu comes over and starts biting the wound again before Hebner breaks it up, and when he does, Zack rocks Drek with a hard open hand across his cheek! He then takes him by the head over to the corner and begins ramming his head into the top turnbuckle repeatedly before taking him by the head and running him across the ring, dropping him with a bulldog! Zack rolls him onto his back and covers, looking to put to an end once and for all the tainted reign of Drek Stone!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Malibu brings Drek up after the failed pin attempt, trapping his arms in a butterfly lock. Zack uses his knees, driving them into the chest of Drek as he's trapped by the Preppy One, before carrying him over with a butterfly suplex! With Drek down and out, Malibu ducks out of the ring and onto the apron, moving towards the turnbuckles as fans come to their feet to get a view of what's happening next.

 

COLE

Malibu's heading to the top here...

 

Zack climbs up, and with flashbulbs going off in the background, leaps from the top, allowing gravity to pull him down from the air and towards Drek Stone, as he delivers a flying elbow drop to the chest cavity of the World Heavyweight Champion!

 

COACH

He spiked him on that one!

 

Zack quickly grabs the leg, and Hebner makes another count, as the fans count along.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

COLE

Another narrow escape by the champion!

 

Zack rolls off his opponent's chest and pops back up to his feet as the massive Toronto crowd rewards him with a frenzy of cheers. With a passing grin, Zack acknowledges their fervor for a moment before turning his attention back to the Heavyweight Champion. Seeing Drek slowly start to stir on the mat, Zack moves over to a nearby corner and crouches down, almost shaking in a mixture of anger and excitement.

 

COLE

This could be it, Coach. I think Zack may be ready to finish this one.

 

COACH

If he thinks he's going to hit School's Out at this point, he's out of his mind.

 

COLE

I'll tell you one thing. With the shape Drek Stone is in, if Zack hits School's Out, that title reign will be over three seconds later.

 

Yelling for his opponent to get up, Zack readies his right leg for the superkick as the 50,000+ fans unanimously roar in approval of the challenger. Meanwhile, the Italian Stallion uses the top rope to pick himself back up to a standing position. Once he finally gets on his feet, Zack comes charging forward with his signature kick!

 

And the Toronto crowd SCREAMS in unison...

 

...as Drek falls to the mat and slides underneath the bottom rope at the last second!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

COACH

What a save! He got out of there in the nick of time!

 

COLE

And this sold out AngleMania crowd isn't too happy about it, I can tell you that!

 

Kneeling on the outside of the ring now, Drek quickly wipes the blood out of his eyes as he takes this moment to catch a few deep breaths. But much like the champion wouldn't give his challenger time to recuperate earlier, Zack is smart enough and vengeful enough to realize he should return the favor. Sliding out of the ring and dashing towards his opponent, Zack is too preoccupied to realize Drek has a Plan B. But he should know Drek Stone always a Plan B. As Zack comes charging forward, Drek quickly falls and drops Zack Malibu with a drop-toe hold...

 

*BOOM!*

 

...driving the Preppy One's head directly into the edge of the steel steps!

 

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COACH

THAT is exactly what Drek Stone needs to do in this match! Keep a level head and let Zack make all the mistakes!

 

Trying his best to ignore the throbbing pain in his temples now, Zack struggles against the ring steps to pick himself back up as quickly as possible. Meanwhile though, it's Drek Stone now who is doing the stalking. As his challenger does his best to get back up once again, Drek angrily curses at him through gritted teeth.

 

DREK

Get up, you slimy son-of-a-bitch!

 

Zack finally gets back up and dizzily spins around to face the champion again.

 

DREK

Good.

 

And with that, Drek Stone charges forward -- and SLAMS Zack Malibu into the steel steps with a massive running spear! The top level of the steps goes barreling into the ringside barricade as Zack hits his head HARD against the arena floor! The Toronto Skydome breaks out in a rabid fit of boos as Drek lands on his knees and stares down at his arch-rival with a sadistic grin.

 

COLE

One of these guys are going to wind up killing the other one tonight!

 

COACH

If that's what it takes for the Heavyweight Title, then so be it!

 

COLE

That's never been what this rivalry has been about. It's about so much more and that can be seen in just how violent these two men will get!

 

As Zack painfully rubs the back of his head, Drek can hear Earl Hebner screaming "SEVEN!" as he gets high up in the ring count. Not wanting in the least to retain his title by a double countout, Drek grabs Zack by the head and yanks him back up to a standing position. He then rolls him back into the ring and hops onto the ring apron. Instead of going into the ring though, Drek starts scaling his way up the turnbuckle. With Zack Malibu looking down and out, Drek Stone sees this as his chance to finally close it out. But he doesn’t want to finish this thing the normal way, no. This is AngleMania VI. In front of a capacity crowd at the Toronto Skydome. And Drek Stone is going to end this match in as spectacular a fashion as he can think of. This is his motivation for ignoring the pin and instead deciding to climb up.

 

COLE

Sometimes you can just tell when something looks to be a mistake. This may be one of those times.

 

COACH

I don’t know, Cole. He’s played it pretty smart so far. He probably has a plan here.

 

As Drek Stone ascends to the top turnbuckle, he can see that victory is only moments away. As he moves to the top rope and steadies his body, he can see that he’s so close to ending this feud against his arch-rival and moving on with his life. Drek Stone can see it all.

 

The only thing he can’t see is Zack Malibu picking himself up and sprinting towards the corner!

 

With that, Zack hops onto the second rope and LEAPS into the air – SMACKING Drek Stone across the jaw with a major superkick!

 

“YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

COLE

I DON’T believe I just saw that!

 

COACH

A running School’s Out in mid-air! You have GOT to be kidding me!

 

The crowd explodes as Zack Malibu snaps the Heavyweight Champion’s head back with his leaping School’s Out! As Zack falls back to the mat, Drek sits on the top turnbuckle for a second, looking completely dazed and out of it. He tries to compose himself but to no avail.

 

The Toronto Skydome breaks out into a DEAFENING cheer as Drek Stone falls back over the top turnbuckle and lands directly onto the arena floor!

 

COACH

OH GOD! What a fall!

 

COLE

We may have just seen the turning point in this match!

 

“LET’S GO ZACK!”

 

“LET’S GO ZACK!”

 

“LET’S GO ZACK!”

 

The Canadian crowd is looking almost rejuvenated after seeing Drek Stone take such a big hit. As Zack Malibu holds the back of his head and rolls onto his side, Earl Hebner begins counting the champion out.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

COLE

Folks, as if that School’s Out wasn’t enough, Drek Stone took a fall that must be about fifty or sixty feet in the air!

 

COACH

….why stop at sixty? Why not just say a hundred feet?

 

COLE

You’re right! That may have very well been a hundred feet! Amazing!

 

Malibu rests on his knees, using the time that it's taking Drek to get up from the fall to recover. Slowly, Zack allows himself to stand, and then walks over to the ropes, surveying Drek's condition. The champion is groggy, but manages to push himself up by the count of six...and that's when Malibu moves into action once again, launching himself over the ropes with a pescado to wipe him out!

 

COLE

Malibu goes airborne, and once again both men are laid out on the arena floor!

 

Malibu is quicker to get up than Stone is, and he leads the champion to his feet, throwing him back into the ring. Zack hops up on the apron and thinks for a moment, and rather than enter the ring, he moves towards the corner and climbs the ropes again...but Stone gets up and rushes the corner, grabbing Malibu and slamming him off the top! Drek falls into the corner as Malibu hits the mat, and now the champion takes a moment to catch his breath. When Zack starts to get up, Drek bolts out of the corner with a running lariat, but Malibu throws both of his elbows up in front of him, deflecting the blow! Drek staggers back, and Zack quickly snaps him up across his shoulders and hits him with the ANGLE SLAM~!...OR NOT, as Drek falls down behind him on his feet, and quickly uses AN ANGLE SLAM OF HIS OWN, but Malibu slips out at the last second...TRENDSETTER ON DREK STONE DRIVES HIS HEAD INTO THE CANVAS~! COVER~!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

T-NO! KICKOUT BY THE WORLD CHAMPION!

 

COACH

Damn, that was some A-game b'ness if I ever saw it!

 

COLE

Ye...yes Coach, yes it was! Amazing sequence of reversals there, culminating in Drek Stone getting his head dropped into the canvas, and rightfully so!

 

Zack gets up and brings Drek up with him, stunning him with an inverted atomic drop that doubles him over, then hits the ropes. As Zack comes off, his feet come off the canvas, and the point of his knee is headed for the side of Drek's head...but at the last second the native of Italy moves his head out of the way, and Malibu whiffs on the Zack Attack attempt. When he turns around, Drek nails him with a boot to the gut, then grabs him in a front facelock, and signals for the STONECUTTER...but Malibu pushes him back, then fires off a SCHOOL'S OUT SUPERKICK, CRACKING DREK STONE SQUARE IN THE CHIN~! The crowd jumps up as Drek goes down, and Malibu dives right on top of him, looking to close the book on their heated rivalry once and for all.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREENO! NO! DREK STONE ROLLS A SHOULDER! DREK STONE KICKS OUT OF SCHOOL'S OUT!

 

COLE

I DON'T believe it!

 

COACH

He's still in it, Mikey Cole! Drek Stone just survived Zack Malibu's patented move!

 

The crowd lets out a collective groan, a mixture of disbelief and disappointment, as Zack looks at Earl Hebner incredulously.

 

COLE

Now that's gotta throw Zack off his game plan a little! We've seen people survive School's Out before, but on this big of a stage, with as much hatred as these two have for each other, Zack Malibu's disappointment can not let him grow desperate!

 

Zack pulls Drek up, who is near lifeless, and has no choice but to allow Zack to drag him along. Zack pulls him up and takes him by the head, running him into the top turnbuckle, and then watches as Drek falls back! With Drek down, Malibu again ascends the ropes, reaching the top turnbuckle and wasting no time in soaring through the air with a flying legdrop, crashing down on the World Heavyweight Champion.

 

COLE

THIS IS IT!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREEEEEEENO! NO! DREK STONE KICKS OUT AGAIN!

 

COACH

Damn!

 

COLE

Someone may have beaten you to that trademark nowadays, Coach.

 

Malibu gets up, pounding the canvas in disgust. He again pulls Drek up, holding him by the head to help him stand, as again, he slaps the taste out of his mouth, telling him to his face "you're not a champion!". In response, Drek spits in Malibu's face, then offers a sly grin through his crimson mask...THAT MALIBU KNOCKS OFF HIS FACE WITH SCHOOL'S...NO! DREK MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, AND EARL HEBNER EATS THE SUPERKICK!

 

COACH

DAMN!

 

COLE

THE OFFICIAL IS DOWN!

 

As Drek falls to his knees, he hits Malibu with a low blow out of desperation, then cradles him with a schoolboy HOLDING THE TIGHTS...but the infractions mean nothing, certainly not victory, as the referee is down! After waiting several extra seconds and not hearing anything, Drek lets go of the pin and goes over to Earl, trying to wake him up, saying "I've got Malibu beat!" Earl's not having it, but down the ramp rushes referee Nick Patrick! Before he gets there, Drek pulls Malibu up, dropping him on the crown of his head with a STONECUTTER, and covers the challenger just as Patrick is through the ropes!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH-NO! NO!

 

A roar of excitement comes through the crowd, as Patrick raises up two fingers, signifying that Malibu escaped defeat. Drek slams his hands on the canvas, gets up, and corners Patrick, asking where he was just a little sooner! Patrick pleads his case, warning Drek that he's got to worry about Zack and not the referees at this point. Drek realizes that he makes a good point and goes back for Malibu, dragging him to his feet...but Malibu knocks his hands away, and starts staggering Drek with right hands, backing him up, backing him up...and then getting cut off, as Drek drives a knee into his ribs! Once again, Drek traps him in a front facelock...but before he can execute another Stonecutter, Malibu swings his body around and takes Drek over his shoulders, dropping him on the back of his head with an ANGLE SLAM~!

 

COLE

THE ANGLE SLAM~! ANGLESAULT'S FINISHER, MALIBU'S TRIBUTE TO THIS COMPANY, IS GOING TO WIN HIM THE WORLD TITLE FOR THE THIRD TIME RIGHT HERE!

 

Zack, winded at this point, stay laid across Drek's chest, as Patrick starts to count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR...WAIT, DREK CRADLES ZACK'S ARMS, AND ROLLS HIM INTO A CRUCIFIX FOR A PIN!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

COACH

This is BIG, Mikey Cole! This is as big as it gets!

 

COLE

...wasn't that the name of a movie you had at your house once?

 

COACH

...

 

Both spent, Drek and Zack get to their feet, with Drek striking first with a right hand! Malibu responds, and now the two trade hard shots until Drek stops Zack by jabbing his thumb into his eye! Malibu hunches over, and Drek hits the ropes, coming off with a swinging neckbreaker to once again take control of his rival! Drek rolls to his feet and starts stomping on Malibu, driving his boot into various points on Malibu's body before bringing Zack up and sending him to the corner...RIGHT INTO NICK PATRICK...NO! Malibu manages to stop short somehow, just before he crushes Patrick against the ropes...but when Malibu moves, he dodges a running lariat from Stone that nails Patrick and mashes him against the turnbuckles!

 

COLE

There goes another one!

 

Stone steps back, surveying the damage...but he backs right into Malibu, who carries him over with one german suplex before rolling to his feet, and then taking him over with another one!

 

COACH

Rolling suplexes by Malibu!

 

Up to their feet again, and a third German follows. Zack rolls through AGAIN, as Drek grows wearier and wearier, and when they get to their feet, this time Zack rocks him with the Angle Slam, bringing him down on the back of his head yet again! Zack covers, but nothing happens for a few moments, until a groggy Hebner comes to!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

T-SHOULDER UP!

 

COLE

Once again, by the skin of his teeth, Drek Stone escapes defeat!

 

Hebner gets up and sees Nick Patrick down and out, and with the pin attempt over with, he goes to the referee's aid, checking on his well-being. Malibu gets up and looks at Stone, who is completely winded, and he goes over to Hebner and checks with him on what's going on, telling him to pay attention to the match and worry about Patrick later!

 

COLE

Malibu can't get distracted now, but by the same token, neither can Earl Hebner. This is a World Title Match, the biggest our company has ever seen!

 

Zack turns around and goes back for Drek, who is crawling on all fours, looking for the ropes or the corner, some type of support to bring him to his feet. Zack goes and brings him up the hard way, but Drek stuns him with a jawbreaker, and Malibu falls back from the simple-yet-effective move. Drek stumbles back to the corner, and with Hebner paying no attention and Malibu hurting, he turns around and starts fiddling with the turnbuckle pad!

 

COLE

What's he doing!?

 

COACH

He's takin' the turnbuckle pad off, Mikey! That's cold hard steel right there!

 

Drek takes the pad off and throws it on the floor, then goes back to Malibu. A pair of chops stun the prep as he comes to his feet, and Drek then takes him by the arm and sends him to the corner...but Zack uses the momentum to his advantage, jumping up to the middle rope and then jumping backwards, twisting into a bodypress that takes Drek out...BUT DREK ROLLS THROUGH IT AND COVERS ZACK!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH-KICKOUT!

 

"DAMMIT!" shouts Drek, as Malibu again WILL NOT DIE! The most resilient superstar the OAOAST has ever seen is led to his feet again, and struck with a European uppercut! Zack staggers, but then fires off one of his own, knocking Drek back a few steps as well! Zack has him against the ropes and Irish whips him, but Drek switches gears and pulls Malibu towards him, rolling him up in a small package!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

T-NO! MALIBU ROLLS THROUGH...INTO A POP DROP~!...NO! Drek pushes Malibu into the ropes, and as Zack rebounds DREK STONE CONNECTS WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

COLE

That's Zack's own move! Drek Stone, the blood enemy of Zack Malibu, just used School's Out on him!

 

Now laughing, and visibly pleased with himself, Drek looks down at Zack and drags him away from the ropes. There will be no rope breaks on this pin attempt, oh no. Drek Stone is going to get the last laugh on Zack Malibu by beating him with his own manuever! In the center of the ring, Drek covers, and Earl Hebner slides in for the count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-NO! NO! NO! NO! ZACK MALIBU KICKS OUT OF THE PIN!

 

COACH

God DAMN, these guys just won't stop!

 

COLE

We've seen it before, Coach. We saw it through the years, and we saw it intensify this past year during the war with Bruce Blank. Zack Malibu can absorb SO MUCH, he will fight until there is not a breath left in him, and Drek Stone is growing more desperate by the minute!

 

Stone can't believe it, and immeditaely he heads out of the ring and over to Michael Buffer. Stone swipes the World Title from him, pushing the respected ring announcer over in his chair in the process! Drek slides back into the ring, clutching the belt...but Hebner runs over and cuts Drek off, telling him to drop the belt! Drek mouths off at the official, looming over him in intimidating fashion, threatening him with the belt as well. In a daring move, knowing that he's got full power over this contest, Earl points to his chin and dares Drek to take a shot, to a loud pop from Canada's fans!

 

COLE

Earl, don't dare him! You can't trust that man!

 

Drek laughs, but Hebner is brave in the face of danger, which turns that smile into a scowl, as Drek feels taunted by the ref! Backing up, Drek clutches the belt as if he's ready to strike...BUT THEN HAS HIS LEG GRABBED OUT FROM UNDER HIM BY MALIBU! ANKLE LOCK!

 

COLE

THE ANKLE LOCK! ANOTHER MOVE PASSED ON TO MALIBU BY ANGLESAULT!

 

The crowd roars as Drek flops around, unable to free himself from Malibu's vice grip! Finally, Drek is able to roll onto his back, kicking Malibu off in the process! Drek rolls to his feet and grabs the belt, and as Zack comes forward so does Drek with a BELTSHOT~!...but Malibu ducks it! Drek turns around, but drops the belt so that he can block another School's Out attempt, and after that both men charge the other, wiping each other out with a double clothesline!

Edited April 3, 2007 by Tony149

[Tony149 0]

COLE

Both of these men have to be exhausted. The World Champion is growing desperate. The fate of the OAOAST hangs on a thread!

 

Drek reaches up and wipes the blood from his brow, then slowly rolls out of the ring, flopping on the ringside floor! Malibu lay staring at the lights, while Drek pulls himself up with the help of the apron. Stone staggers over to the timekeepers table once again, and this time shoves Michael Buffer right over, stealing the chair that the announcer had been sitting on all night!

 

COACH

Get 'em, Buffer!

 

COLE

Oh yes, motivate the announcer to go after this chair-weilding asshole. Good plan, Coach!

 

The fans shower Drek with boos as he slides the chair into the ring...but as he enters the ring Hebner grabs the chair off the mat, keeping it away from Stone! Drek shouts at Hebner for interfering with his plan, but Hebner waves him off, and goes to the ropes to dispose of the chair. While he does that, Stone quickly picks up the World Title belt off the canvas, and delivers a running kick to Malibu's nether regions as he gets up, then BLASTS HIM ACROSS THE HEAD WITH THE OAOAST WORLD TITLE~!

 

COLE

THAT SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH!

 

COACH

Not this way...c'mon man, not this way!

 

Drek falls on top of Malibu, throwing the belt across the mat and out to the floor, as Hebner turns around in time to see only the pinfall taking place!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...NO! ZACK MALIBU GETS A SHOULDER UP!

 

COLE

This company started with a beltshot, but this night will not end in a beltshot, because Zack Malibu WILL NOT BE DENIED!

 

Stone slams his hands on the canvas and stands up, now stalking Earl Hebner. Stone tries his best to be intimidating, but Hebner has none of it, shoving him away waving two fingers in his face, telling him "that's all you got!". Disgusted, Stone turns away from Hebner and pulls Malibu off the canvas, hoping to put the final touches on his arch-rival. He gets him in position for another Stonecutter, hoping to cap off the night...but Zack pushes him back into the corner...more specifically the EXPOSED corner, and a jolt of pain surges through Drek's back as he collides with the cold steel!

 

COLE

Stone tastes the cold hard steel! Isn't it ironic?

 

COACH

Don'tcha think?

 

Stone falls over Malibu's shoulder, and the OAOAST's mainstream superstar heaves Drek off his feet, dropping him on the exposed turnbuckle and crotching him on the top! Stone's jaw falls open, but it's shut immediately by a jumping palm strike that snaps his head back! Stone teeters on the ropes, looking ready to fall at any instant, while Zack climbs up. Standing on the top, Zack hammers on Drek with his right hand, his knuckles covered in the blood of the champion. Having beaten Stone to a bloody pulp, Malibu balances himself, then pulls Stone up on the ropes. As Stone rises, he goes low again, and then shoves Malibu down to the canvas! Zack attempts to land on his feet, but when he does, he falls headfirst into the exposed steel, causing his head to whiplash back! Malibu staggers around in a fog, as Stone pushes up onto his feet and leaps off the top, cradling Malibu's head under his arm and bringing him down on the top of his head, leaping from the top rope right into a modified STONECUTTER that sends Malibu straight into the canvas, his feet sticking straight up in the air!

 

COLE

WHAT A STONECUTTER THAT WAS! MALIBU'S HEAD WAS NEARLY SHATTERED LIKE A WATERMELON!

 

Zack flops onto his back, and Stone quickly drags him farther away from the ropes, and covers, pulling far back on Malibu's leg, desperate to make this the final fall.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

COLE

No...NO NO NO, DAMMIT!

 

"Woke Up This Morning" is a welcome sound to the ears of Drek Stone, although it can barely be heard amidst the crowd reaction, the most negative in company history.

 

COACH

I...don't believe it.

 

Stone gets up, and as Hebner comes to offer him the World Title, he rudely snatches it away and shoves the ref aside, choosing to raise his own arms, and the belt high up in the air.

 

COLE

Our signature event, a night that celebrates the tradition of this company, and the man who could care less about it is STILL the reigning World Heavyweight Champion!

 

Trash begins to shower the ring, as Stone, as bloodied and bruised as he is, is not above gloating over the fact that he just spit in the face of all his detractors by defeating the company's ultimate hero. Zack Malibu lay down looking at the lights, still feeling the effects of the Stonecutter, as Hebner kneels down and begins to help him up. Stone parades around the ring with the belt, pausing to open his arms and embrace the hatred of the crowd that he feels the same way about. He goes to exit the ring, then stops himself, and turns around. Malibu gets to his feet, hobbling, and stares at Drek Stone. More importantly, he stares at the belt caught in Stone's grasp. Stone offers a smirk, and walks over to Malibu, dangling the belt in front of his face and screaming "It's MINE!" to the Preppy One. Malibu fumes as Stone turns away and exits the ring, parading up the ramp with the belt over his shoulder, and more ammunition to feel his instatiable ego.

 

Drek Stone is victorious at Anglemania. He's walking out of the arena the same way he walked into it...as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion...

 

...and not even Zack Malibu could do anything about it.

 

FADE OUT.

[Tony149 0]

PRODUCED BY

OAOAST Entertainment

 

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER

Zack Malibu

 

DIRECTED BY

Tony149

 

GRAPHICS BY

Papacita

 

CREATED BY

CWM

Tony149

Anglesault

 

WRITTEN BY

Alfdogg

Ed Wood Caufield

King Cucaracha

NYU

Patty O'Green

Peter Knight

Tony149

Zack Malibu

 

© 2007 OAOAST Entertainment

All Rights Reserved.