Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 (edited) * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! “OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” The show opens with a shot of a howling wolf atop a hill. Ominous music plays in the background as slowly we move down to a smoky graveyard with the night’s card etched on tombstones. Suddenly, a puff of smoke fills the screen and this is the next image we see: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! LIVE! Dayton Beach, Florida Now inside the Ocean Center, we cut to Michael Cole and the Coach, both of whom decided to dress up for the occasion. Cole as a vampire and Coach as Shaft. COLE (horribly bad Hungarian accent) Good evening and welcome to the Halloween Spectacular. A night that will feature 4 frightening title defenses and the return of The Love Shack with special guest Melody Nerdly in her first television appearance since Zero Hour! COACH If you haven’t been scared off by what you’ve seen so far, then be sure to stick around. It’s Halloween night and anything is bound to happen. Right now it’s time for our first treat of the evening. So let’s go up to Michael Buffer for the introductions. COLE You didn’t like my bit? COACH I don’t like you at all. COLE Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime BUFFER Wrestling fans, the opening contest LIVE on TSM, 6-man tag mayhem! Now arriving on the red carpet with MOLLY NERDLY, all representatives of the Enterprise, totaling 742 pounds… “THE DEBT COLLECTOR” CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as CPA, and the BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Never to shine away from the spotlight, the dynamic duo of Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard mug for the Siclops while CPA towers behind. COLE It was less than a week ago on HeldDOWN that CPA and the Beverly Hills Blonds interfered in the Love Doctors-Theodore Moneymaker/Christian Wright match, saving their fellow Enterprise associates from sure defeat as Theodore was prepped for a Gurney to the Center of the Earth. Within minutes this bout had been signed and here we are at the Halloween Spectacular! COACH The trick is on Anderson and Pigley, Cole. They’re facing the former World 6-man tag champions. So I don‘t care who their partner is, the advantage goes to the Blonds and CPA. You can’t mix-and-match and expect to win just like that. Experience means the world in these kinds of matches. *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you BUFFER Their opponents! First, from the Windy City, total combine weight 436 pounds…MAX ANDERSON and STEVEN PIGLEY…THE LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE DOCTOORRRRSSSS!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Television’s hottest doctors strut out and strip at the top of the stage. COACH Have they no respect for the dead? Dancing on their graves like that? COLE The Love Doctors smartly keeping their distance from the Blonds and CPA. No need for them to head for ringside alone, which I’m sure the Enterprise is banking on. But who have the Docs selected as their partner? We’ll find out after this timeout! HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR The doctors are in, but will their partner? THE MYSTERY REVEALED NEXT! Edited November 1, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 BUFFER And their partner…! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" SIMON NED BUFFER DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!! The 6’5, 390 pound Flaming Gigolo bursts through the gate in style as Just A Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody blares in the background. COLE Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen! And what a coup The Love Doctors have pulled off, getting Deuce Deuce Bigelow as their partner! COACH But how? I wish he had gone to Teddy with the Docs offer. He could have made out with double -- triple even -- the money to stay at home. Dedicated to her craft, Molly keeps rolling, capturing the Blonds’ reaction on the Siclops. SIMON (to Molly) Ned halts production, ordering Molly to the arena floor as Deuce and the Docs storm the ring. COLE Here they go! * DINGDINGDING * The match degenerates into a pier-six brawl right off the bat. CPA manages to hold his own against Deuce, but the same cannot be said for Simon and Ned who are surgically dissected by The Love Doctors. Whipped into the ropes, the Blonds are back dropped while CPA is knocked to the floor courtesy of a Deuce Bigelow dropkick. As the Blonds stagger to their feet, Deuce charges full steam ahead and clotheslines them over the top! “YEAH!” DEUCE (beating chest) COLE Is Deuce fired up or what? He and The Love Doctors have dominated in the early going. The Blonds and CPA don’t know what hit them. COACH They weren’t expecting this, Cole. COLE You said it didn’t matter who their partner was. COACH Yeah, but that was before I knew their partner was Deuce Deuce Bigelow. The man’s been a force wherever he’s competed. Simon tackles the role of team leader and goes over the game plan with Ned, CPA and Molly. As referee Nick Patrick makes his way over to breakup the conversation, the group man their positions: Simon inside, Ned and CPA on the apron and Molly behind the ring post aiming the Siclops at Dr. Max Anderson and Deuce Deuce Bigelow. COLE Apparently Simon Singleton is a big New England Patriots fan, or Bill Belichick to be more specific. COACH Why not? They’re both multi-time champions. Besides, how do we know Anderson and Pigley aren’t cheating? They are doctors after all. COLE I won’t even dignify that with a response. A liberal at heart, Simon wishes to resolve the situation non-violently, offering to sit down for talks with his enemies. He only asks they shake hands to seal the deal. PIGLEY “NO!” SIMON (to crowd) Hey, shut up! Despite the fans begging him not to, Pigley accepts the handshake…and blocks the ensuing kick to the midsection! COLE Oh, he saw it coming. He knew Simon was up to no good. Simon is spun around and nailed with an INVERTED ATOMIC DROP, then drilled by a Max Anderson DROPKICK! THE LOVEMATIC GRAMPA! ONE… TWO… Save by Ned! COLE If not for Blanchard’s interference, this match could be over right now. Dr. Steven grabs a handful of Simon’s strawberry blond hair and brings him up to his feet, only to be raked in the eyes! COACH See, Cole, I told you the Docs were cheaters. That’s what Steven gets for trying to bend the rules behind the referee’s back. As their associates did last Thursday night, Simon targets the arm of Steven Pigley, clubbing and then wringing it. The Box Office Draw cranks on the arm, but when he attempts to wring it again Dr. Pigley snaps him over with a deep arm drag. Singleton rushes to his feet and into a side headlock takeover. ONE! Simon gets the shoulder up to avoid putting himself in a pinning predicament. He scissors the head and displays a tremendous amount of athleticism after Dr. Steven floats on top, bridging out to thrust the knee into the sternum, and follows up with a double under hook suplex! Singleton drops a knee onto the chest for good measure and covers, playing to the Siclops as the referee issues the count. COLE What disrespect right there. Simon not even bothering to make a proper cover. He thinks it’s already over. COACH That under hook suplex had to knock the air out of Pigley. Then add a knee to the sternum on top of that. Heh, I can see why Simon would feel that way. ONE… SIMON KICKOUT! SIMON Simon stomps Pigley in the face, then introduces him to the boot of Ned Blanchard, leading to the first tag of the match. Blanchard struts in and hammers away, punching and chopping his opponent in the corner. “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Big knife-edge chop stops Ned in his tracks, but the Handsome Hustler quickly responds with a knee to the gut and fires Pigley off, decking him on the rebound with a back elbow. Blanchard spins off on contact to the near side…and spikes the point of the elbow into the heart! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Ned rams Dr. Steven into the top turnbuckle and stomps a mudhole in his ass, walking it dry of course. Blanchard then whips Pigley to the far corner and charges in, but Steven gets the BOOT UP and connects with a TOP ROPE CLOTHESLINE! “YEAH!” COLE That took as much out of Dr. Steven as it did Ned. You can see him favoring the arm that has sustained an incredible amount of damage within the last week. The tag is made and Max Anderson comes in firing, rattling the Handsome Hustler with SPINNING BACKFISTS. Dazed and confused Ned stumbles into a FLATLINER! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! CPA makes the save, triggering another pier-six brawl. Fortunately the referee is able to restore order. As the illegal men return to their respective corners, Ned escapes a headlock by shoving Max into the ropes with so much force he nearly loses his balance. Yet to regain total control of his equilibrium Blanchard is floored by a shoulder tackle. Anderson briefly ponders his next move before hitting the ropes again, going over the top of Ned and then surprisingly under a leapfrog. COACH Hey! How about that? A leapfrog from Ned Blanchard. Who knew he had that in him? COLE Must be one of his few non-sexual hidden talents. Anyhow, Max counters Ned’s attempted hip toss into a money flip. Then, following a tag, he and Steven shoot Ned across the ring, elevating him over their shoulders and down with a double BAAAAACK body drop! Hoping to catch the guys napping Simon sneaks in and whiffs on a one-man double clothesline, his momentum sending him into the face corner and a big roundhouse right from Deuce, causing him to staggers back towards The Love Doctors who take him GURNEY SURFING! COLE Double hot shot! Simon rolls out to the floor as Dr. Pigley slams Ned in the middle of the ring for Max, perched on top for his patent 450 Splash. But standing between him and Blanchard is the Enterprise’s debt collector, the “Certified Public Ass-kicker“ himself, Christopher Patrick Allen. COACH Yeah, be afraid of the big black man. Big very afraid, punks. Call it courage or crazy, Dr. Max leaps forward…but is CAUGHT IN MIDAIR! CPA presses Max overhead and does a couple of reps before hurling him into Steven! COACH (laughs) Two down, one to go. CPA dares Deuce Deuce Bigelow to enter. The crowd’s ROAR is deafening as Deuce steps in beating his chest. However, neither competitor is the legal man, which referee Nick Patrick points out to both. A couple of death stares is enough to put an end to that, as both men come face to face. CPA DEUCE “YEAH!” COLE You can feel the electricity in the air. The fans can’t wait to see this two beasts hook ‘em up. Deuce and CPA skip the appetizers and go straight for the main course, exchanging fire and heavy fire at that. With neither man able to gain the advantage, both dig into their big man bag of tricks, trading clotheslines and shoulder blocks. It’s not until CPA surprises Deuce with a head BUTT that somebody budges. Sent for the ride Deuce puts on the brakes as CPA sets for a power slam, catching him with a blow to the ribs, and then a SITOUT FRONT SUPLEX!! COLE Oh, what power. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! COACH A normal man would have been defeated with that move, Cole. Deuce returns the head BUTT from moments ago, then rocks CPA against the ropes with hard right hands. Bigelow looks to shoot CPA across, but the Enterprise Directory of Security reverses the Irish whip and wallops the Flaming Gigolo with a BIG BOOT! Amazingly, Deuce remains on his feet…until CPA muscles him up for a FRONT SPINEBUSTER!! COACH DAYUM~! COLE If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it. CPA just scooped Deuce straight up and slammed him. These big men have come to fight tonight. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! The Blonds stick both their feet through the ropes and have CPA ram Bigelow into them. But it causes more damage to Simon and Ned than Deuce, as the Blonds favor their knees afterward. COACH I didn’t know Deuce was part Samoan. COLE He’s not, but a heavy amount of anything isn’t good for you. Simon limps in following the tag and bashes Deuce with forearm smashes, but then makes the mistake of trying to Irish whip the 360 pound Flaming Gigolo, which Deuce easily counters into a belly-to-belly suplex, squashing Simon under all his weight! “OH!” Luckily Ned is there to prevent the pin, slapping Deuce upside his tattooed dome. A war of words follows but that’s as far as it goes, as Deuce focus his attack on Simon, slamming him near his corner. Tagging out in favor of Max Anderson, the Love Doctor slingshots himself onto Simon from the apron with a BIG SPLASH! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT. Quick tag by The Love Doctors, who hip toss Simon to soften him for Dr. Steven’s STANDING MOONSAULT! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Pigley’s Irish whip backfires as Simon reverses, allowing Ned to drive the knee into the spine of back as Dr. Steven shoots off the ropes, and Simon capitalizes with a SINGLE-ARM DDT! COLE Divorce Court! COACH Dr. Pigley suffered more than just a separation; he may have broken his arm. Steven writhes in pain, but it doesn’t earn him any sympathy from his opponents. Simon places Dr. Pigley’s arm on the bottom rope and tags Ned, who dives off the middle rope with an elbow to the outstretch arm! COLE The Blonds are trying to put this young man out of action. Blanchard removes the elbow pad on Pigley’s arm and stomps away. Steven reaches the ropes but his pain is only about to begin. As the referee keeps Ned at bay, CPA drags Pigley to the Enterprise corner and Simon bashes his arm against the steel ring post! By the time Nick Patrick turns around the damage has been done. The Blonds tag and treat Dr. Steven to a DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK! ONE… TWO… NO! Dr. Anderson makes the save, but he can’t save his partner from the spike piledriver coming up. Only Steven can do that and he does, somehow escaping Ned’s clutches before slinging him towards the corner, causing Simon to CROTCH himself as he and Ned collide! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” Dr. Max and Deuce are prime for the tag, each stretching as far out as they humanly can. As Dr. Steven nears his corner CPA rushes in, having accepted the tag from Ned, and kicks him in the head, leveling both Cannon and Aquamarine on the apron afterwards. CPA then drapes Pigley across his shoulder and plants him smack in the middle of the ring with a RUNNING POWERSLAM! ONE… TWO… Save by Max! Unfazed, CPA scoops Steven up like a sack of potatoes and slams him straight down near the Blonds corner. Simon tags himself in and takes to the air… COACH There you go, Simon. Finish him off! …but MISSES the guillotine leg drop! COLE Nobody home! Dr. Steven uses whatever strength he has left to crawl to his corner, while Simon continues to agonize in pain, clutching his left side. * HOT TAG * “YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” Fists of fire and feet of fury, Dr. Max Anderson strikes anything that moves. Well, not everything, he does spare the referee. Unfortunately for him, palm strikes and spinning back fists have no effect on CPA, who floors Max with one blow. What he lacks in size and weight is made up for with heart…and the help of Deuce Deuce Bigelow. The Flaming Gigolo prevents CPA from executing the HR Blockbuster, decking him with a running clothesline! COACH It’s turning into another brawl, Cole. COLE We’ve got bodies all over the ring. But the two legal men are Ned Blanchard and Max Anderson. As Deuce and CPA take their battle to the floor, the Blonds double team Anderson, giving him a taste of his own medicine with a DOUBLE STUN GUN! Then it’s up top for the ATOMIC BLOND!! COACH Call it, Cole. Anderson’s time of death -- right now. Ned covers but the referee is busy getting Simon out of the ring, opening the door for Dr. Steven Pigley and his SHOOTING STAR ELBOWDROP!!! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Dr. Steven just sacrificed himself -- and possibly his career -- for his team. His back turned to the ring, Simon plays to the Siclops as a grimacing Dr. Steven Pigley rolls his partner on top of Ned and exits. ONE… TWO… THREE!!! SIMON * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, the team of DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW and THE LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE DOCTOORRRRSSSS!! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Stunned by the turn of events, Simon reacts violently, grabbing Michael Buffer’s STEEL CHAIR to beat Dr. Steven. He specifically targets the doctor’s already injured arm, holding the limb down with his foot as he repeatedly smashes the edge of the chair into it. COLE Come on, damnit! That’s uncalled for! COACH Why don’t you call it as you see it for once in your life, Cole? Dr. Steven got caught cheating and he’s being punished for it. Simon heads for higher ground it as Deuce Deuce Bigelow returns to the squared circle with a chair of his own, which he launches in the direction of the Blonds and CPA, narrowly missing them. SIMON COLE You wouldn’t know it by looking at them, but those men right there are the losers -- in more ways than one. COACH Watch it, Cole, or CPA might pay a surprise visit to your home. The Enterprise doesn’t take too kindly to bad press. COLE Well bad press is what they’re going to get for their actions here tonight. You have to wonder just how much this will effect The Love Doctors' chances in the battle royal. Can Steven even go after what happened? Fans, stay with us. The OAOAST Halloween Spectacular continues after this time out. THE THANKSGIVING WEEKEND TRADITION SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 25 LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW! 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Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 (edited) The lights go down in the arena. The crowd cheers. Two spotlights shine on the entrance. After five seconds... *BOOM!* Spanish Fly shoots out from underneath the entrance stage with pyro right behind him. Spanish Fly raises his right fist in the air causing the crowd to cheer. "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi starts playing as Spanish Fly points to both sides of the arena, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. With the loss of his mask comes a new ring attire for Spanish Fly. Gone is the long baggy red leather pants of the past. Now Spanish Fly wears a long singlet that covers his entire body. The singlet is blue and written on the stomach is the word FLY in red gothic font. SPANISH is written down the right leg in red gothic font, and FLY is written down the left leg in red gothic font. 6-1-9 is written on the back in red gothic font. Spanish Fly also wears black elbow pads, black wrist bands, black kneepads over his knees, black shinguards, and black wrestling boots. And he still has a dark black mullet. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread United States Championship! Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Tijuana, Mexico but now residing in San Diego, California. Weighing in at 175 lbs. He is a former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Spanish Fly continues slapping hands with the fans as he walks to the ring. COLE Spanish Fly wrestling in his first match since he lost his mask back in August. And he is doing it against his longtime best friend, Colombian Heat! COACH Best friends for now. But once the little rascal realizes he can win a belt in the OAOAST, he'll tear into Heat...as much as an eleven-year-old can tear into a grown adult. COLE Colombian Heat made this match because he wanted his friend to get a shot at his belt. COACH Because he felt sorry for him. COLE No. Because that's his friend. COACH Uh-huh. Sure. Colombian Heat knows that the little guy will never get a shot because of his size. So, Heat gave Spanish Fly a shot at the belt he currently has out of pity. COLE No. He gave him a shot because he knows just how talented Spanish Fly really is. COACH Oh sure. Ricky Ricardo is just throwing Little Ricky a bone here. Nothing more, nothing less. Spanish Fly climbs the ring steps and enters the ring. Fly heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air to cheers. Fly then gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air again to more cheers from the thousands in attendance. Fly then gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his hands again to a pop. Fly gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to a fourth second turnbuckle where he once again raises his hands in the air again to a pop from the crowd. COACH I wonder why Spanish Fly isn't wearing his mask tonight. It's Halloween, you know. COLE Well, Spanish Fly is a man of his word. He said he would never wear his mask again, and he hasn't since August 9th of this year. COACH Well that's ashame. Spanish Fly could have easily put on his mask and old wrestling attire and could have gone trick or treating tonight with the other kids. He's so small the adults wouldn't know the difference, and he could have gotten all the free candy he wanted! COLE Okay, stop with the short jokes already! COACH All right then. I'll start doing mullet jokes! I mean look at him! He looks like a relic from the '90's! COLE Oh will you stop!? Spanish Fly gets off the second turnbuckle and raises his hands again. The crowd cheers. Fly looks at the entrance as the lights go back on in the arena and "Krokodilamadurinn" continues playing. Fly does some stretches in the ring. COLE Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are about to engage in some friendly competition. And it will be for the United States Title, the Title which debuted in the OAOAST a little over a month ago at Zero Hour, when Colombian Heat defeated James Riggs to unify the OAOAST 24/7 AND OAOAST X-Division Titles into a brand new Title! COACH It's been 31 days since Colombian Heat won the United States Title. He should be stripped of the belt since he went over the 30-day limit. COLE Oh come on! It's been only 31 days. I think Colombian Heat should be allowed to bend the rules a little. COACH And that is why professional wrestling will never be taken seriously as a sport. COLE ... "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi dies down. Spanish Fly continues looking at the entrance. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE OAOAST United States Title Match coming up right now on the Halloween Spectacular! A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer LOUDLY. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *"COME ON!"* *BOOM~!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The cemetery gates open, and Colombian Heat comes out to LOUD cheers. Heat has the OAOAST United States Championship belt wrapped around his waist. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. CH unstraps the OAOAST United States Championship belt from around his waist and raises it in the air with his left hand, pointing to it as if to say, "Yeah boi! This is mine, yo!" Colombian Heat points to both sides of the arena, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans with his right hand, and carrying the OAOAST United States Championship belt with his left hand. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread United States Champion of the worrrrrrlllllldddddddddddddddddddddddddd...He...is...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Colombian Heat continues his walk to the ring, slapping more fans' hands as he gets closer and closer to the ring. COLE Colombian Heat making his first United States Title defense, and he's doing it against his best friend, Spanish Fly! COACH I'm looking forward to the two of them tearing into each other for the US Title! COLE Somehow I doubt that. Heat and Fly have alot of respect for each other and for the sport of professional wrestling. COACH So? A Titles on the line, Cole. You gotta do what you gotta do to win. COLE But this isn't a No Disqualification Match. If one of them breaks the rules, they don't win. And if Fly breaks the rules, he doesn't get the US Title! COACH So? COLE You just want the two of them to beat each other up, do you? COACH Okay! You got me! I hate the both of them! I hope they destroy each other! Especially Spanish Fly. I HATE that little pipsqueak! COLE You are a sad, sad man. COACH I know. Colombian Heat winks at the camera, and then climbs up the ring steps, hopping into the ring. Heat gets on the second ring rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt with his left hand while doing this. Heat then heads to a second turnbuckle and throws up the "W" hand signal again with his right hand, and raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt with his left hand. He receives more cheers. Colombian Heat gets off the second turnbuckle and calls for a microphone. He receives one from a ringside attendant. COLE Colombian Heat has been on quite the tear these past few months. Will he be able to continue his streak tonight on the Halloween Spectacular? COACH He's facing Spanish Fly for crying out loud! COLOMBIAN HEAT Aiyo, aiyo, check, check, check, check, check, ch-check it out! What, what, what, what, what it's all about! Let's turn that mothafreakin' party out, y'all! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Colombian Heat looks at the crowd and smiles. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull dies down. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLOMBIAN HEAT Hey yo, Fly, no disrespect. Youse is like a brotha to me. I love youse man. BUTTTTT...I still wanna be the OAOAST United States Champion...SOOOOOO...if all of y'all are ready to see me make Spanish Fly feel the Heat...then make some noise UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!" HEAT I feel the love, y'all. I's really do! Colombian Heat hands the microphone back to a ringside attendant. Spanish Fly nods at Heat, and Heat nods back. Colombian Heat hands the OAOAST United States Championship belt over to referee Dave Hebner and then exits the ring. He searches around the ringside area for someone, and then finds a five-year-old being held by his father. Colombian Heat removes the Colombian Heat bandana from around his head and puts it around the head of the five-year-old. He then high fives the small child and laughs. HEAT Yeah, boi! HA HA! COACH Someone should arrest that man! COLE Stop. Heat smiles at the kid and then climbs back up the ring steps and hops into the ring. COLE A big match for Colombian Heat AND Spanish Fly. But you got to think this match is especially important for Fly. This is his first match after losing his mask. We know he hasn't been the same since losing it back in August, emotionally or mentally. But we'll see if he still has the skills in the ring, where it matters most! COACH He doesn't. I already know he doesn't. COLE Wait till the bell rings, Coach. Dave Hebner shows the OAOAST United States Championship belt to both Heat and Fly. Fly touches the belt. Dave Hebner raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his head to let the fans know that this is a Title match. He then hands the belt over to a ringside attendant. A graphic appears on screen letting the fans know that this match is for the OAOAST United States Championship. COLE Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, they won the Titles back in January after defeating "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick in a memorable Two Out Of Three Falls Match. They only held them for two weeks though, losing the belts at Anglepalooza in a Triple Threat Tag Team Match to D*LUX. COACH And that's the last time Spanish Fly will hold a Championship in the OAOAST! COLE I don't know about that, Coach. That might all change tonight. COACH Yeah. And monkeys might fly out of my BUTT! Cole, stop looking at my ass! Dave Hebner pats down Colombian Heat. He then pats down Spanish Fly. Afterwards, he calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP COLOMBIAN HEAT (Champion) vs. SPANISH FLY (Challenger) Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly stare at each other. They then start circling each other. COLE And here we go! A battle between two best friends! Colombian Heat vs. Spanish Fly for the OAOAST United States Championship! Heat puts his right hand out. Fly shakes it. The crowd cheers. Both men circle each other again. They lockup. Heat and Fly jockey for position. After a few seconds, Fly gives Heat an arm-drag, taking Heat down to the mat! This surprises Heat. COACH Pffft. Fly got lucky there. COLE Heat was certainly surprised at that. COACH Rip him apart, Heat! COLE Now you're cheering for Colombian Heat? COACH If it means the end of Spanish Fly's career, then definitely! Heat stands up. Fly stands in his fighting stance. Colombian Heat dusts himself off and stares at Fly again. The two friends circle each other. Both men bend down and stick their hands out. They lock hands, and engage in a test of strength. COACH Are you kidding me? COLE They're doing a test of strength, Coach. COACH I know. I'm not blind! Does Fly seriously think he can win this? He's even stupider than I thought! Both men struggle for control. They both pull back, but then resume the test of strength. They both struggle, but then Colombian Heat grabs Fly's left arm and applies a hammerlock on it. Fly reverses the hammerlock into one of his own. The hammerlock brings Colombian Heat to the mat! COLE Great counter by Spanish Fly! Fly applies a wristlock on Heat. He cinches the hold tight. Dave Hebner checks on Heat. Fly then applies an arm-bar on Heat. COLE Spanish Fly doing some mat wrestling in the early going, a little different from his usual high flying. Fly cinches the arm-bar tight. Heat rolls through onto his knees, still in the arm-bar. Heat gets on his right knee, still in the arm-bar. Heat stands up on his own two feet...and turns the arm-bar into a bodyslam! Spanish Fly kips up! He and Heat stare at each other. "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO FLY!" COLE These fans divided in their allegiances to both men! COACH The fact that they're cheering for both guys in the first place makes me lose faith in humanity. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly circle each other again. They lock up again. Both men jockey for position. Fly applies a side headlock on Heat. Fly keeps the headlock locked tight on the current United States Champion. Fly then turns the headlock into a hammerlock on his best friend. COLE Heat might have been surprised at Fly wrestling a mat based style now! COACH Stop holding back, Heat and squash him already! You've done a good job building Spanish Fly's confidence, now break him down! Fly still has the hammerlock applied as the fans continue chanting for both Spanish Fly AND Colombian Heat. Heat walks backwards into the ropes, and gives Fly a snapmare takeover, but Spanish Fly holds onto the hammerlock, leaving Heat on the mat, trapped in the hold! COLE Spanish Fly not giving up on that hammerlock! He's holding on! COACH I don't believe this! Heat is being made into a fool by a midget! Fly cinches the hammerlock tight. Dave Hebner checks on Heat, who refuses to give up. Colombian Heat gets on his knees while Spanish Fly applies a wristlock on Heat. CH gets to a vertical base and walks with Fly into the ropes. He whips Spanish Fly into the opposite ropes. Heat follows with a STIFF back elbow, which knocks Spanish Fly down! COLE And Heat fires off with a back elbow to the face! And that face is exposed now, so the impact must be greater! COACH God, is he ugly. No homo. He looks like what would happen if Zach De La Rocha from Rage Against The Machine and a rat had a baby. Just hideous! Colombian Heat shakes his head, shaking the cobwebs out. He then picks Spanish Fly up and gives him a snapmare takeover, followed by applying a chinlock on Spanish Fly. COLE Heat with the size and weight advantage. But it's arguable that Spanish Fly has the speed advantage, although Colombian Heat can certainly do high flying moves with the best of them! COACH In other words, Colombian Heat > Spanish Fly. COLE What did you just do there? Did you just do a 'better than' sign with your fingers? COACH No. Raised middle finger. Colombian Heat has a reverse chinlock applied on Spanish Fly. Dave Hebner checks on Fly. Fly is getting weakened. The crowd is cheering. Heat is already breathing hard. Fly gets on his left knee, still in the reverse chinlock. Fly then gets to a vertical base, and takes Heat with him into the ropes. Spanish Fly shoves Colombian Heat into the opposite ropes. But Heat responds back with a shoulderblock knocking Fly down! Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, leaps over Fly, bounces off the opposite ropes, Fly does a leapfrog over Heat, Heat bounces off the opposite ropes, Spanish Fly gives Colombian Heat a monkey flip onto the mat! COLE Spanish Fly with a monkey flip on Colombian Heat! COACH Speaking of which, Spanish Fly should be in the playground, not in an OAOAST ring! When will he learn that? Spanish Fly kips up, and some of the crowd boos! Fly picks Colombian Heat up and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Fly goes for a spinning heel kick, but Heat catches Fly's left leg. So, Fly turns it into a jumping back kick, taking the United States Champion down! COLE Oh my! Spanish Fly picking up the pace right now! He's trying to win his first singles Title in the OAOAST! Spanish Fly waits for Colombian Heat to get up. When he does, Fly hits Colombian Heat with a spinning wheel kick which sends Heat over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And Spanish Fly with a big move there! Knocking Colombian Heat over the top rope and out of the ring! COACH He better bring Heat back into the ring if he wants to win the United States Title! COLE That's...that's actually a good point. COACH Why thank you, Cole! It's good to see you recognize my greatness every once in a while! Spanish Fly actually takes Coach's advice by leaving the ring and picking Colombian Heat up, throwing him back into the squared circle. Fly quickly gets on top of Heat and applies an arm-bar on his best friend. Fly wrenches the hold. COLE Spanish Fly now in control of this match! The 4'11" Spanish Fly in control of the 6'0" Colombian Heat! COACH When is Colombian Heat gonna wrestle for real? COLE He is, Coach. And Spanish Fly STILL has the upper hand! COACH Oh PAH! Knock his teeth out, Heat! Think of it this way, he can put the teeth underneath his pillow for the tooth fairy! COLE Oh will you stop!? Colombian Heat gets on his knees, but Spanish Fly still has the arm-bar applied. Fly cinches the hold tight. Spanish Fly brings Heat back down to the mat. Dave Hebner checks on Heat. CH gets up, grabbing Spanish Fly in the process, and taking him into the ropes. Heat gives Spanish Fly an arm-drag...but Fly holds onto the arm-bar, cinching the hold tighter! COLE Hey! Spanish Fly is not giving up yet! COACH Oh! He deserves a timeout for this! Dave Hebner checks on Colombian Heat again. Heat still won't quit. Heat finally gets to his feet, and walks with Fly into the ropes. Heat shoves Fly into the opposite ropes, and follows with a knee into Fly's stomach! Heat kicks Fly in the stomach again, and then scoops Fly up, giving him a bodyslam onto the mat! Colombian Heat then bounces off the ropes, and hits Spanish Fly with a "Where The Hood At!?"! Heat covers Fly. COLE Colombian Heat with the first cover of the match! 1... 2... KICK OUT! COLE And there might be a second cover now! CH waits for Spanish Fly to get up. COLE Colombian Heat a little hesitant to do his usual offense on his friend. COACH Why is he holding back? COLE Have you ever had a friend before? COACH I have lots of friends! Everyone loves Da Coach! COLE Nobody in this company does. COACH They're just jealous of my greatness, is all! Heat picks Fly up. He nails him with several forearm shots to the face. Again and again he does these! He then switches to European Uppercuts. He then goes to CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms to the back of the neck. Heat kicks Spanish Fly in the stomach and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Colombian Heat hits Spanish Fly with an A.J. Styles-like dropkick to the face, knocking him down! Heat goes for the cover, hooking the right leg! ONE! TWO! THRE--KICK OUT!!! Colombian Heat applies a reverse chinlock on Spanish Fly. He locks the hold tight. COLE Colombian Heat now in control. COACH I hope Spanish Fly uses his quickness to rip Colombian Heat's face off! COLE So now you're rooting for Spanish Fly all of a sudden? COACH Yeah! I do what I want! Heat elbows Fly in the face. He then picks Spanish Fly up and takes him over to a turnbuckle. Heat slams Spanish Fly's face on the top turnbuckle pad. *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Heat unleashes a combination of chops and punches to Spanish Fly, weakening the luchador. He then switches to martial arts kicks all over Spanish Fly's body. COLE Colombian Heat with those educated feet. One went to Harvard, the other to Yale. Colombian Heat finishes off with a jumping back kick to Spanish Fly's jaw! Fly falls down to the mat, his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. The crowd comes alive. COACH Oh no. COLE Uh-oh. Spanish Fly might be in trouble! Colombian Heat appears hesitant though to do one of his signature moves. He looks down at Fly, sighs, and then jogs on over to the opposite turnbuckle. He still appears hesitant, even as he does his "low-rider" hand gesture. Colombian Heat stands in place at the opposite turnbuckle, watching Spanish Fly lay there on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Finally, after thinking it over, Colombian Heat simply walks on over to Spanish Fly and picks him up, deciding not to do the Broncobuster after all. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Heat deciding not to do the Broncobuster on his friend, Spanish Fly. COACH They probably do the Broncobuster to each other every night in bed. COLE Oh come on! Heat tells Fly something and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Fly hits the opposite turnbuckle back-first HARD! COLE Good God! *I* felt that! COACH Not being so soft on his friend now, is he? Heh, heh, heh. CH jogs over and picks Spanish Fly up. He whips him into the ropes. Heat goes for a back elbow, Spanish Fly ducks, bounces off the opposite ropes, and fires with a crossbody block! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! Both men get up at the same time. Fly goes for a punch--BLOCKED! Colombian Heat punches Spanish Fly! He does it again! And again! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then punches Spanish Fly a fourth time, completing the Shake, Rattle & Roll! COLE Shake, Rattle & Roll from Colombian Heat! Heat then looks at the crowd and smiles. He bounces off the ropes, does a SHIMMY~!, and then drops a knee onto Spanish Fly's face! Shaky Leg Kneedrop! COLE Shaky Leg Kneedrop from Colombian Heat! Heat goes for the cover. 1...2...KICK OUT!!! COLE No! Close but no cigar! COACH Little Ricky needs to be punished some more, Ricky! Heat is frustrated, but soldiers on, picking Spanish Fly up and whipping him into a turnbuckle. Colombian Heat charges forward...right into a boot from Spanish Fly! Heat stumbles around, so Spanish Fly waits for Heat to get near him so that he can get on top of him and do a victory roll! WHICH HEAT REVERSES! ONE! TWO!! KICK OUT!!! COLE Colombian Heat kicks out as the pace quickens! Colombian Heat punches Spanish Fly in the face and then gives him another Irish whip into the ropes. Heat goes for a clothesline, Spanish Fly ducks, hooks his legs around Colombian Heat's arms, and...and... COACH Keep trying junior. Instead of the Crucifix Pin, Colombian Heat simply falls back onto the mat, covering Spanish Fly. 1... 2... Right foot on the bottom rope! COLE And Spanish Fly saved himself with that one! COACH The kid got lucky there! COLE Lucky or not, Spanish Fly still has a shot at winning the United States Title! COACH Like he had a shot already! HA! COLE Can't you give Spanish Fly a *little* bit of credit? COACH Hmm...no. Heat sighs, and then gets up. He goes to pick Spanish Fly up--SPANISH FLY ROLLS HIM UP! ONE! TWO! KICK OUT!!! Both men get up. Spanish Fly goes for a punch. Heat ducks, grabs Fly, PIMP JUICE~! COLE Pimp Juice on Spanish Fly! Heat goes for the cover! 1...2...KICK OUT! COLE So many nearfalls without a clearcut winner yet! Heat applies a chinlock on Spanish Fly. He tightens the hold, further weakening the 4'11" superstar. COLE Colombian Heat has Spanish Fly grounded. COACH Well, he has been acting up tonight. COLE Coach, stop it. All right? It wasn't funny the first time, it's not funny now! COACH Yes it is. COLE No it's not. COACH Yes it is. COLE No it's not. COLE Yes it is. COACH No it's not. COLE No it's not. COACH Yes it is...CRAP! COLE Yes! Colombian Heat continues having the chinlock applied. Dave Hebner checks on Spanish Fly. COLE Spanish Fly not going on the top rope now. COACH No crap, Sherlock! Dave Hebner raises Spanish Fly's right arm in the air. It falls. "ONE!" COLE Spanish Fly might be in trouble here! COACH Well, can't say he didn't try! At least we can give him that! Spanish Fly appears out of it. "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO FLY!" COLE These fans rallying behind Spanish Fly 100% now! COACH Damn fairweather fans! BAH! Dave Hebner checks on Spanish Fly again. Dave Hebner raises Spanish Fly's right arm in the air again. It falls. "TWO!" COLE One more and the match is over! The crowd is getting louder and louder. Colombian Heat is breathing hard, so is Spanish Fly. Fly's hair is now becoming matted. "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO FLY!" COLE Here we go. This could be it! Dave Hebner checks on Spanish Fly for a third time. Dave Hebner raises Spanish Fly's right arm in the air for a third time. It falls. NO WAIT! IT DOESN'T! COLE Spanish Fly is showing signs of life! He's still in this match! Spanish Fly balls his hands into fists. The crowd starts cheering. Fly starts shaking his fists. He flails his arms around. Heat still has the chinlock applied. COLE Heat has worn Spanish Fly down. COACH He's out of it. No way he's coming back. Spanish Fly struggles to turn to his side. He finally does so. Fly gets on his left knee while still in the chinlock. Fly flails his arms around. Colombian Heat stands up, still applying the chinlock. Spanish Fly slowly gets up. He gets to a vertical base. Spanish Fly elbows Colombian Heat in the stomach. He does it again. And again! And again! Spanish Fly escapes the chinlock and then bounces off the ropes. Colombian Heat grabs him for a hiptoss, but Fly won't budge! Heat tries again. Fly still won't budge! Fly kicks Heat in the stomach, and then turns him around for a backslide! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! COLE Fly came close! He came very close, but he just didn't have the strength to keep Colombian Heat down for three! Colombian Heat drops an elbow onto the back of Spanish Fly's neck! COLE And Heat very quickly regaining the advantage! Heat drops an elbow onto Spanish Fly's head! He goes for the cover. It gets two. COLE Three? No! He got two! Only two! The referee only shows two fingers! Colombian Heat is disappointed at the two count. COLE Look at Spanish Fly. Look at him. He is reaching down for all he is worth to win this match and the United States Title! "LET'S GO FLY!" "LET'S GO FLY!" Colombian Heat watches Spanish Fly get up. COLE Spanish Fly very, very tenacious, shall we say. He will not give up! COACH He should. His bedtime is coming up soon. COLE Coach, you're gonna use up all your Spanish Fly jokes if you keep at it. COACH ...Good point. COLE Spanish Fly has a great competitive spirit. Tremendous heart by this youngster from Tijuana, Mexico! Colombian Heat grabs Spanish Fly. BONG HIT~! COLE Bong Hit on Spanish Fly! COACH And not the type of Bong Hit Fly may like! Heat with the lateral press. 1...2...KICK OUT!!! COLE And Spanish Fly kicks out AGAIN! Colombian Heat can't believe it. Spanish Fly is lying flat on his stomach, fatigued. COLE I think even Colombian Heat is surprised at Spanish Fly's resilience in this match! COACH Good. Now he can shift into overdrive and REALLY kick some midget ass! Even if it is his friend, Colombian Heat is frustrated that the match hasn't ended yet. CH takes a deep breath, and gives Spanish Fly a bodyslam. Heat then climbs the top rope. He looks down at Fly, and then does...something. Whatever he does, it doesn't work, as he ends up getting kicked in the face by Spanish Fly! COACH Why do wrestlers always do that one move? It's just gonna lead right into getting kicked in the face! What exactly are they going for? A punch? A kick? WHAT? At any rate, both Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat are now on the mat. The crowd comes alive again. Spanish Fly slowly starts to get up. As does Colombian Heat. Both men are sweating bullets now. COLE That move may have given Spanish Fly the opportunity to regain his senses and get back on the offensive attack! Colombian Heat gets up first. He shakes the cobwebs out of his head, and then kicks Spanish Fly in the ribs! COACH Then again maybe not. COLE Maybe not indeed, Coach. Heat grabs Spanish Fly's left arm and whips him into the ropes. CH goes for a clothesline, Spanish Fly ducks...and hits Heat with a jumping back kick! COLE The kick caught him! Heat and Fly both are on the mat. Heat is holding his face in pain. Spanish Fly slowly gets up. COLE Colombian Heat has a dazed look in his eyes! Spanish Fly crawls over to a turnbuckle corner. He uses the ropes to lift himself up. After taking a deep breath, Fly kicks Colombian Heat in the breadbasket. He does it again! And again! Fly grabs Heat and throws him into the turnbuckle where he proceeds to do martial arts kicks all over Colombian Heat's body! He finishes off with a jumping back kick to the jaw! COLE Spanish Fly using some moves from Colombian Heat's arsenal right there! COACH That's not the only thing they share. COLE Stop right there. Spanish Fly grabs Colombian Heat and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Spanish Fly charges forward, and nails Colombian Heat with a dropkick to the chest! Heat stumbles out of the turnbuckle and falls onto the mat. Spanish Fly plays to the crowd, and then climbs the top rope. COLE Spanish Fly may have the perfect opportunity to become the United States Champion right here and now! Fly waits for Colombian Heat to get up. Heat slowly gets to his feet. He stumbles around...right into a moonsault from Spanish Fly! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!! KICK OUT!!! COLE Aw! Half a count away! Only half a count away! Spanish Fly picks Heat up and places him in between his legs. He uses Heat's yellow basketball shorts to give him a stump piledriver! COLE Whoa! A stump piledriver from Spanish Fly to Colombian Heat! COACH How did he do that!? COLE I don't know. But Heat is down for the count! 1! 2! NO! No! He kicked out! Heat kicked out! We still got a match going on! Spanish Fly gets up. He gives Heat a standing moonsault! The cover! It gets two. Spanish Fly picks Colombian Heat up and whips him into the ropes. He follows with a flying clothesline over the top rope and onto the floor! Fly skins the cat back into the ring! COLE Heat is down on the outside! Spanish Fly quickly climbs the top rope. He carefully positions himself on the top turnbuckle...and then launches himself off the top with a senton onto Colombian Heat! COLE Oh my! A senton from Spanish Fly onto Colombian Heat! Incredible move from the 4'11" challenger to Colombian Heat's United States Title! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly both lie on the protective mats on the outside. Both men appear groggy, their eyes glazed over. COLE I don't know who got hurt the worst here: Fly or Heat. COACH As long as they're both hurt, it's okay. Dave Hebner starts his 10 count. Heat and Fly are still on the outside. COLE Fly got all of Heat he wanted, but he also got all the floor! COACH Leave all the bad jokes to me please. Spanish Fly is still on the protective mats, while Colombian Heat is slowly starting to get up. "4!" "5!" "6!" COACH Fly better hurry if he wants to win the United States Title! "7!" Colombian Heat gets to a vertical base. "8!" Colombian Heat shakes the cobwebs out of his head. "9!" Colombian Heat rolls back underneath the bottom rope. COLE Colombian Heat back into the ring. But Heat is in trouble. Colombian Heat is in trouble here for the United States Title. Spanish Fly gets on his left knee. He then slowly gets up. Fly takes a deep breath and then climbs back up the ring steps into the ring. He then climbs the top rope. COLE Once again, Spanish Fly going to the top rope. What's he got planned next? COACH Hopefully a trip to the hospital. COLE Shush. Spanish Fly waits for Colombian Heat to come closer to him. When Heat does, Fly jumps up off the top rope, grabbing Colombian Heat with his legs for a top rope hurricarana--NO--Colombian Heat holds on! Heat grabs ahold of Fly's singlet and puts his feet onto the mat! Heat fires off with several forearms to the face! He then nails Fly with some European Uppercuts. Heat applies a facelock on Fly. He then places Fly's left arm over his head and grabs his singlet. Colombian Heat then places Spanish Fly on the top turnbuckle. COLE Now it's Heat's turn to climb to the top. COACH Come on broken neck! Heat punches Fly in the face some more. Heat then climbs the second rope and places Fly in a facelock again. He then places Fly's left arm over his head again, and then grabs the singlet. Heat then climbs the top rope himself. COLE Uh-oh. Heat and Fly are all the way up! COACH Come on TWO broken necks! COLE Will you stop!? The crowd is getting antsy. COLE Spanish Fly is almost out of it! Colombian Heat grabs Spanish Fly and together, the two of them jump off the top rope!--Spanish Fly adjusts his body in mid-air!--SPANISH FLY LANDS ON TOP OF COLOMBIAN HEAT! COLE It was countered! He got it! 1... 2... 2 1/2 3--KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! No! No! He didn't get him! He did not get him! COACH I thought that was it! COLE The closest fall in the match by far! Spanish Fly was a half a second away from becoming the new United States Champion! COACH I thought that was it! COLE I know Coach! I know! Colombian Heat is both surprised and relieved that that wasn't the finish. But he doesn't have much time to be surprised and relieved as Spanish Fly is up and kicking Heat in the face! Fly gets Heat good and weak before picking him up and whipping Heat into a turnbuckle corner. Fly charges forward...Heat moves out of the way...Spanish Fly goes for a seated senton, but since Heat is not there, Fly ends up hitting the top turnbuckle pad instead! Fly crumples onto the mat! COACH HA HA! He folded like an accordion! COLE Indeed he did Coach! Fly is in a bad way here! The crowd groans when Spanish Fly hits the mat. Heat glances back at Fly to see if he's okay, and then takes a deep breath. CH picks SF up and takes him by his hair over to a turnbuckle corner. Colombian Heat charges. Bulldog! Cover! 1! 2! KICK OUT! COLE Both men are feeling it now! Spanish Fly drilled face first onto the mat! Colombian Heat slowly gets up. He picks Spanish Fly up. Heat grabs Fly by his right wrist and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Heat goes for a clothesline, Spanish Fly ducks, stops in his tracks, and delivers a front dropkick to Colombian Heat! Heat stumbles, landing on the second ring rope. The crowd cheers loudly. Fly smiles. COLE This could do it! This could do it right here! Spanish Fly looks at the crowd. SPANISH FLY 6-1-9! SF bounces off the ropes, charges forward, grabs the first and second ring rope... AND DELIVERS A 6-1-9 ON COLOMBIAN HEAT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE The 6-1-9! The 6-1-9 on Colombian Heat! COACH He got him good on that one! COLE Colombian Heat is out cold! Spanish Fly could be moments away from winning the United States Title! Spanish Fly plays to the cheering crowd. He smiles and then runs all the way up to the turnbuckle, which he climbs. Spanish Fly is hunched over on the top rope, waiting for Colombian Heat to get up. COLE Spanish Fly is looking for the finish right here and now! COACH He's gonna blow it! Spanish Fly watches as Colombian Heat gets up. Heat is slowly turning onto his side. Fly is antsy on the top rope. COLE Spanish Fly looking for the Fly Swatter, his finishing move! COACH Watch out for that flying midget, Heat! Colombian Heat is on his side. He sits up. Heat slowly starts to get to his feet. COLE Heat better look out! Half of the crowd is cheering, and the other half is desperately trying to warn Colombian Heat of who's on the top rope. Colombian Heat gets on his left knee. He then slowly stands up straight. COLE Spanish Fly looking to capture his first singles gold in the OAOAST right now! Colombian Heat is at a vertical base. He is groggy. His eyes are glazed over. He is breathing hard and perspiring like mad. Heat stumbles a little. A hush silence falls over the crowd as Spanish Fly leaps off the top rope... AND NAILS COLOMBIAN HEAT WITH THE FLY SWATTER (Fame-Ass-Er from the top rope)~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COLE Fly Swatter! Fly Swatter! Spanish Fly nailed it! Spanish Fly's got it! The crowd cheers loudly. Spanish Fly covers Colombian Heat, hooking his right leg. Dave Hebner gets into position to make the count. The crowd chants along. COACH New Champion? 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 JAMES RIGGS ENTERS THE RING AND KICKS SPANISH FLY IN THE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE WHAT!? What? What the hell? COACH James Riggs is here! Hooray! James Riggs stomps on Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly! Dave Hebner sees this and has no choice but to call for the bell. *DING DING DING* (14:24) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE DAMNIT! DAMNIT! James Riggs screws Spanish Fly out of the United States Title! Once again, James Riggs ruins Spanish Fly's night! COACH He took his mask, and now he's taken his shot at becoming US Champion! I love James Riggs! COLE You're about the only one that loves him now, Coach! COACH So what? That just means there's more for me to love! The crowd boos LOUDLY. JR gets on top of Spanish Fly and pounds him in the face. He then gets on top of Colombian Heat and pounds him in the face. COLE Is James Riggs still bitter about Zero Hour last month? COACH He has a right to be! He should be US Champion right now! COLE Colombian Heat beat him one-two-three in the middle of the ring! He should just let it go! COACH No he can't! Not until he beats Colombian Heat into dust. And Spanish Fly too while he's at it! "JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!" "JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!" "JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!" "JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!" JR tells the fans to "SHUT THE HELL UP!" and then picks the dazed and confused Spanish Fly up. Fly can barely stand. James heads to a turnbuckle, smiles evilly, and then does a forward roll, followed by smashing his right foot right into Spanish Fly's face! COLE Rolling Koppou Kick! The Rolling Koppou Kick on Spanish Fly! The challenger is down! COACH Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! I LOVE IT! HA HA HA HA HA HA! The crowd boos. The "JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!" chant gets louder. Riggs taunts the laid out Spanish Fly, screaming in his face. JAMES RIGGS THAT SHOULD BE ME! THAT SHOULD BE MINE! IT'S MINE! IT'S ALL MINE!I SHOULD BE THE CHALLENGER NOW! JR spits on Spanish Fly! COLE Oh what a shot of disrespect! Adding insult to injury! COACH He doesn't deserve anything less! Boo Spanish Fly. Boo. "ASS-HOLE!" "ASS-HOLE!" "ASS-HOLE!" "ASS-HOLE!" Riggs ignores the "ASS-HOLE!" chant. He instead points a menacing finger at Colombian Heat. JR heads to a turnbuckle corner and eyes Colombian Heat evilly. COLE Now he's targeting Colombian Heat! COACH Yeah! He hasn't forgotten about him! That's for damn sure! Riggs motions for Heat to get up. The crowd boos. Colombian Heat turns to his side. He then slowly sits up. RIGGS COME ON! GET UP! COLE Riggs might be going for it! He might be going for the Rolling Koppou Kick again! COACH He most certainly is, Cole! He most certainly is! COLE Heat is in big trouble here! COACH That's what he gets for being United States Champion and not James Riggs! CH is on his hands and knees. He then gets to his left knee. Heat then slowly gets up. COLE Colombian Heat is in a bad way here! And the match is over! COACH Consider this extracuricular activities! COLE Somebody stop this dammit! The match is over! COACH No. Let's just sit back and enjoy it! Heat is bent over. He is breathing hard. Heat stands up straight and takes a deep breath. Colombian Heat turns around. This leads to James Riggs doing a forward roll, followed by smashing his right foot right into Colombian Heat's face-- NO! Colombian Heat ducks the Rolling Koppou Kick! He then attacks James Riggs to the crowd's delight! COLE Colombian Heat is fighting back! Heat gets Riggs dazed and confused, and then whips him into the ropes. Riggs bounces off the ropes. Heat kicks Riggs in the stomach, bending him over. Colombian Heat then hooks Riggs arms, and then lifts him up into the air. COACH Oh no! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! COLE Will he? Will he? Colombian Heat holds Riggs up in the air, letting the blood rush to his head. Heat looks up at Riggs, looks at the crowd, looks at Spanish Fly, and then looks at the hard camera. He smiles and nods his head...before dropping James Riggs with the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Colombian Necktie! Colombian Necktie on James Riggs! Just like last month at Zero Hour! COACH Ugh! I HATE reruns! The crowd is going nuts. Colombian Heat sits up and taunts the knocked out James Riggs! Heat spits in *his* face. Heat picks the unconscious JR up, says, "FUCK YOU MOTHAFUCKA!" and then throws James Riggs over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And James Riggs thrown out like yesterday's garbage! COACH He deserves to be treated MUCH better than that! COLE Maybe not TOO much differently! COACH HEY! James Riggs is near the entrance ramp, face-first on the floor. You can only tell he is alive by his breathing because he ain't moving otherwise. Colombian Heat yells at James Riggs from inside the ring. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Colombian Heat once again getting the better of James Riggs! COACH Man, will some things EVER change!? OY! Dave Hebner hands Heat the OAOAST United States Championship belt. Heat raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his head. The crowd cheers louder. Colombian Heat points to the belt and says, "YEAH-UH~! THIS IS MINE, YO! NO ONE ELSES! YEAH-UH~! WHAT!? OKAY! WORD!" COLE Well, Colombian Heat is still the OAOAST United States Champion, ironically enough, thanks to James Riggs! COACH Yeah. But this was a lose-lose situation anyway! We either had to deal with potty mcpothead or the littlest wrestler as our United States Champion. Frankly, I would much rather take a dagger into my eye than have to deal with one of those two as US Champion! COLE Oh come on now! COACH Just telling it like it is, Mikey Cole! Just telling it like it is! Colombian Heat slings the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. He then goes to check on Spanish Fly. Fly is still on the mat, but showing movement. COLE And now Heat, after a hard fought match, goes back to check on his friend, Spanish Fly. COACH This would be the perfect opportunity to kick him when he's down. COLE No. Heat's not like that. At least, not anymore. He has class and honor, and he has much respect for Spanish Fly not to give him a cheap shot like that. COACH So? I don't care! I just like seeing Spanish Fly get hurt! Let's do some dwarf tossing right about now! Spanish Fly pushes himself off the mat. Colombian Heat helps Fly sit up. With Colombian Heat's help, Spanish Fly slowly gets back to his feet, receiving a round of applause from the fans! COLE A resounding ovation for Spanish Fly! He came within seconds of becoming the new United States Champion, and if it weren't for James Riggs, he would already be the US Champion, I believe! COACH Oh well, another dream of Spanish Fly is crushed. Que sera sera! Spanish Fly is very groggy. He is in much pain. Colombian Heat has to hold him up so that he doesn't fall. Heat asks Fly if he's okay. Fly nods his head. Heat and Fly chat. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has decided that this match is a DRAW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Thanks to that damn James Riggs! BUFFER Therefore, STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread United States Champion of the worrrrrrlllllldddddddddddddddddddddddddd...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat raises Spanish Fly's hands in victory. COLE A great match between these two men, ruined by one jealous man! COACH James Riggs should have gotten the US Title Match, not Spanish Fly! I can't believe a midget got this match before Riggs, a world class athlete! What the hell is wrong with this company!? COLE Colombian Heat gave this match to his friend! I don't see anything wrong with that! COACH I do. It wasn't James Riggs. COLE Maybe if James Riggs was nicer to Colombian Heat, instead of attacking him all the time, he would have gotten the Title shot. COACH That wouldn't happen, Cole. Colombian Heat is beneath JR! COLE Well, that's why Fly got the shot first. COACH This world is cruel. Colombian Heat embraces Spanish Fly in the middle of the ring to the crowd's delight. He says, "I loves you, bro!" Fly says, "I love you, man!" Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly continue talking as they exit the ring. COLE A great show of sportsmanship right now between Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. COACH Why don't they just get a room? COLE Come on now, Coach. They're BFF! COACH You couldn't sound anymore gayer than you do right now! So don't even try! Colombian Heat has his left arm over Spanish Fly's shoulders. He also has the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. Heat talks to Spanish Fly, who is stumbling a bit and is walking with a glazed look in his eyes as "Gasolina (Remix)" continues playing. COLE An incredible match between two best friends here on the Halloween Spectacular! They gave it their all, but after the bell rung, they went back to being friends again! It just warms your heart, doesn't it? Colombian Heat remains the OAOAST United States Champion for another day, but you'd have to think that Heat's opinion of Spanish Fly's wrestling skills has improved since he came SO close to winning the belt tonight! What might have been had James Riggs not shown up! COACH This match would have been less memorable. COLE Anyway, fans, we still got more action to come! What a memorable night this has already been! And we've still got a few more matches to come including our main event for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Stay tuned! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly walk up the entrance ramp. Heat still has his left arm over Spanish Fly's shoulders, in addition to having the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. Heat and Fly chat it up as they walk closer and closer to the cemetery gates. The crowd cheers loudly. Both Heat and Fly laugh despite both being fatigued and in pain from James Riggs attack. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull continues playing as we fade to black. FADE OUT Commercials Edited November 5, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 Je t'adore, Je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls plays, as pink strobes and smoke fill the entryway, and Felix Strutter walks out to the boos of the crowd. COLE Heartland title on the line, Felix Strutter getting the rematch! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Making his way to the ring, from San Jose, California, weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRR!!!!! COLE Felix, of course, losing the Heartland title at Zero Hour in the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell III, when Sandman9000 made his shocking return! And another shocking return made six days ago by Deon Black, as he and Felix ambushed the Heartland champion! COACH And Felix told me this morning over breakfast, it's now "The Malibu Mammoth", Deon Black! COLE Over breakfast, huh? COACH Oh, you missed out, Cole! That San Jose scrilla really fills you up, if you know what I mean! Strutter rolls into the ring, and poses on the buckles, then talks trash to some fans. Suddenly, the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! A figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER His opponent, hailing from South of Heaven...weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! COLE Sandman9000, an OAOAST Original, and the Heartland champion! Sandman walks slowly to the ring, then climbs onto the apron, and into the ring. He rips the bandanas off, then Strutter attempts a big right, blocked by Sandman! COLE Here we go! *DING DING DING* Sandman fires off rights, and takes Strutter into the corner. He starts ramming his head into the turnbuckle! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! Strutter blocks on the fifth, and thumbs Sandman in the eye. Strutter then delivers some right hands in the corner, and whips Sandman across, but Sandman comes out with a clothesline! Strutter bails, but Sandman backs into the ropes and hits him with a baseball slide! COLE Sandman9000 in control early in this match for the Heartland title! Sandman stomps away on Strutter, then picks him up and rams him into the steps! COLE And Strutter goes face-first into the steel steps! Sandman then rams Strutter into the timekeepers' table. However, when he goes to pick Strutter up, Strutter brings the ring bell with him, and blasts Sandman over the head with it! COACH There you go, Felix! COLE Could be a turning point in the match, with Felix Strutter now in control! Strutter tosses Sandman into the ring, then grabs a chair from ringside. He rolls into the ring, and brings the chair down across the back of Sandman! COACH There, now Felix is getting into his groove! Strutter adds a second shot, then goes to the top with the chair in hand. COLE Felix setting up something big here... Felix comes off the top for a CHAIR-ASSISTED SPLASH...but Sandman puts his feet up, causing Felix to flip over onto his back! COLE Sandman able to get the feet up, and Felix Strutter in pain! Sandman grabs the chair as Strutter gets to his feet, then tosses it to Strutter, and dropkicks it back into his face! Strutter goes down, then rolls out of the ring, and Sandman follows, clotheslining him over the guardrail! COLE And we're out into the crowd here in Daytona Beach! Sandman delivers right hands to Strutter, as Strutter tries to make a getaway. Strutter eventually makes his way out to the aisleway, where Sandman clotheslines him back out of the crowd. COLE And now out into the aisleway, approaching the gravesite! Sandman tosses Strutter over the gate into the gravesite, then follows him, and the two exchange blows. Sandman gets the better of the exchange, but Strutter goes to the eyes, then executes a DDT! COLE And Sandman DDT'd right on the floor! COACH Right in the dirt! Sandman ends up laying on his back right in front of a headstone, and Strutter plays it up the crowd, which boos. COLE And Felix hoping that this will be symbolic of the end of this match, which perhaps will have him winning his third Heartland title! Strutter picks up Sandman, and sets him up for the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!!!11111...but Sandman counters by sending him back over the gate with a backdrop! Strutter reaches inside the gate and grabs a handful of dirt, and when Sandman picks him up, tosses it into his face! COLE Strutter with a handful of that gravesite dirt into the face of Sandman! The two work their way back to the ring, and Strutter attempts to whip Sandman into the steps, but Sandman reverses, and Strutter takes them back-first! COLE And Felix once again taking those steel steps! COACH This is not looking good right now, unfortunately! Sandman tosses Felix back into the ring, then goes under the apron and finds a barbed-wire bat! The crowd roars in anticipation. COACH Oh, no! COLE And it's only going to get worse from here! Sandman rolls into the ring, and slowly makes his way over to Strutter. Sandman raises the bat in the air, but Strutter hits a quick low blow! COACH Yes! COLE Strutter with a low blow, buying himself some time! Sandman drops the bat, and Strutter quickly grabs it, then rams the top of it into the head of Sandman! COLE And Sandman feels the barbed wire, right on top of the head! Sandman bleeds, as Strutter poses with the bat, to boos. Strutter then drops to the mat, delivering another shot across the lower back! COACH Things are looking up now, looking REAL good! Strutter then waits for Sandman to get to his feet, and takes a big swing, but Sandman ducks, and delivers a shot to the gut, followed by an EDGECRUSHER DDT~! COLE Sandman with the Edgecrusher DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman then gets to his feet, and grabs the bat. He waits for Strutter to get to his feet...and brings the bat down onto his forehead! COACH Oh no! COLE And now it's Strutter busted open after tasting the barbed wire! Sandman drops to his knees with the bat, and digs it into the wound. COLE And now digging the mat into the forehead of Felix Strutter! COACH Oh man, imagine how that feels, Cole! Sandman lays the bat in the middle of the ring, then whips Strutter into the ropes, and executes a drop toe hold, sending Strutter right into the bat! COLE Look at that move! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Strutter bails out of the ring, and Sandman follows. Sandman delivers a big right, knocking Strutter to the floor, then executes BOOT SCRAPES~! as Strutter lays on the floor. Sandman then starts picking apart the announce table. COACH Oh, now what? Sandman finishes his work on the table, then drags Strutter onto it, and sets up a suplex. COLE He's going to suplex Felix on the table! Strutter blocks, then blocks a second time, then hits a low blow! Strutter then hooks Sandman...and delivers the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE THROUGH THE ANNOUNCERS' TABLE~!!!!!11111 COACH YESSSS!!! COLE Strutter with the Thunder Bay Throttle through our table! COACH That is IT! The crowd chants. HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! The two men lay on the table remains for several seconds, then Strutter gets to his feet slowly. He rolls Sandman back into the ring, and covers... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE But Sandman still has a lot left! Strutter stomps away on Sandman in the corner, then brings him out and executes a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter then grabs the bat, and jams it into Sandman's forehead in the mat! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Strutter grabs the chair, and slams it into the back of Sandman, knocking him through the ropes to the floor! Strutter then poses with the chair, drawing boos. COLE Felix Strutter well in control of this match! COACH Yeah, but you can't give this guy time to rest, either! Strutter goes to the outside, and picks Sandman up, and grabs him in a side headlock. He charges for the ringpost, but Sandman shoves him off into it! COLE And a nice counter by Sandman, sending Felix into the post! Sandman follows with a clothesline, then rolls Strutter back into the ring. He goes under the apron, and finds a LADDER~! COLE Uh-oh... Sandman rolls inside with the ladder, and jams it into the midsection of Strutter, then lifts it up and brings it down across his back! Sandman then turns Strutter over and positions him, before going to the top rope with the ladder. COLE Sandman could be looking for a moonsault here with that ladder! Sandman gets to the top and picks up the ladder, then balances himself, and goes for a LADDERSAULT~!...but Strutter rolls out of the way! However, Sandman lands with the ladder first, and uses it to push himself over to his feet. When he does this, Strutter swings the chair, hitting the ladder back into Sandman's face! COACH YES! COLE What a sequence, and now both men are out of it! The crowd starts some respectful applause, then Strutter waves to the back, and Deon Black stalks out to the ring! COLE Oh my God... COACH Ohh baby! Here we go! COLE No disqualifications in these matches, as that MONSTER makes his way to the ring! Black climbs over the top rope, and grabs Sandman by the throat. COACH And look, the referee's not going to argue with this guy! COLE Look at that, one hand! Black picks Sandman up, and lifts him overhead in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE Look at this! Sandman must be 10 feet in the air! Black brings him down hard! Black then picks him up again, at the behest of the bloodied Strutter, and delivers a CHOKESLAM~! Strutter backs him off, then covers... 1... 2... NO!!! Sandman gets a shoulder up! COACH Come on, ref! COLE Sandman's not done yet! Strutter motions for Black to finish him off, so Black sets up the BLUE MOUNTAIN BOMB~!!!!!11111...but Sandman blocks with right hands, then counters into a DDT in mid-air! COLE And Sandman fighting back! Black's response is simply to feel his face and get right to his feet, as Sandman floors Strutter with a YAKUZA KICK~! Cover... 1... 2... ...Black tries to drive an elbow, but Sandman moves, and he drops it on Strutter instead! COACH Oh NO! COLE A big 520-pound elbow dropped inadvertently onto Felix Strutter! Black remains on all fours checking on Strutter, and Sandman hits him with a seated dropkick! This has little effect on the big man, so he runs to the ropes and does it again! Black gets to his feet and walks into a corner, and Sandman grabs the ladder and jams it into his midsection, before dragging Strutter into a corner and setting him in a seated position. He then grabs the chair, and climbs to the top over Black. COLE Oh my... Sandman gets to the top, then steps to Black's shoulders, and delivers a VAN TERMINATOR~!!! COLE What a move by Sandman, here's the cover! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH Damn it! COLE Sandman9000 retains his title! BUFFER The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! COLE A gruesome battle, the champion had to fight off not only the former champion Felix Strutter, but also the gigantic Deon Black, to retain his title, but he did just that! Sandman walks back down the aisle, as Black stares at him while checking on Strutter. COACH He was so close...Felix was so close! I thought he was going to get it back... COLE It didn't happen for him on this night, as Sandman9000 overcomes the odds, and is STILL the Heartland champion! HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR Gimme all your lovin‘. THE LOVE SHACK IS NEXT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 (edited) OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents... #~~THE LOVE SHACK~~# As we return to the Halloween Spectacular, the ring has metamorphosised into the set of the returning Love Shack! And the crowd in Daytona Beach are on their feet, not for the cheap unimaginative decor or as a result of the alcohol no doubt plied into them over the course of the night, but for Leon Rodez himself in the ring. Sat at his interview desk Leon leans back in his swivel chair, feet up on the desk and a microphone in hand, teasing the crowd over actually speaking while he waits for them to settle down a little. A smirk begins to creep over his face as the cheers show no signs of stopping. But eventually it all gets a little tedious and he gets them to shut up. LEON Six months later... welcome BACK to the Love Shack! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" LEON Yes, it's the show so special that, much like Christian Wright, it only comes once every six months. Yes oh yes, a lot has happened since we were last in The Shack. Lindsay Lohan went into rehab. Britney Spears went into rehab. Which made me re-think my life and whether I oughta check myself out of the Shack and into the Priory to hang out with all the beautiful people. #They tried to make me go to rehab, I said# no way man, Flex Phillips got sent there in January and disappeared off the face of the planet. Proving that wrestling fans are fickle, the reference to one of the true legends of the tag team division goes right over their heads. LEON So, Britney Spears came out of rehab. Then Britney Spears went off the deep-end. Uh... there was some sort of minor scuffle over in Iraq, I remember hearing. Probably nothing major. Britney Spears had her children taken away. And people stopped using Britney Spears' name as a reference anymore because they were sick of every talk-show host and comedian in North America driving it into the ground. I'm only getting away with it myself because, as everybody knows, the wrestling business is stuck well behind the real world when it comes to cultural references. "WHAT?" LEON Thank you. So, what brings the Love Shack back? Well, this... roll video! Set-up for a double Percussion DDT, Melody falls to her knees and delivers a pair of desperation LOW BLOWS as everyone is too busy staring at Holly! COACH That’s a disqualification! Robinson wasn’t out of position, he’s playing favorites! With the crowd behind her, Melody weakly crawls to her corner… “YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …and makes the tag, but Charles Robinson is distracted by Logan‘s cry for help. Of course it’s all a ruse to prevent the referee from seeing the tag. As the referee tends to Logan, Holly stuns fans worldwide by DDT’ing Melody! * COLLECTIVE GASP * COLE What the hell?! No! Holly exits as Logan leaps to his feet and places one foot on Melody‘s chest. COACH Oh, my God, Cole, it’s a miracle! Not only did Holly see the light, but Logan was healed! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Disgusted by the shocking turn of events, fans bombard the ring with debris as Holly-Wood assaults Melody. COLE Holly, you were supposed to be her friend! How could you!? PERCUSSION DDT leaves Melody flat on her stomach. Then Holly comes face to face with her estranged husband Logan Mann…and the two HUG! LEON ...aaand end video. Yes, that was at World Without End and you can draw your own conclusions on the kind of people who'd do something like that. In the meantime, let's bring out my gues. Welcome back, MELODY NERDLY! "Thriller" by Fallout Boy cues up as Melody strolls to the ring. Not looking quite her usual, outgoing self, she manages just enough to smile and wave to some of the fans who are welcoming her back. Leon comes out of his seat to hold the ropes open for Melody, before in true talk-show fashion shaking his guest's hand and pointing her to her seat. You know, incase she didn't guess the one with the desk would be the host's. LEON Melody, thanks for coming on the show. It's good to see you back. MELODY Well, thanks. It's... it's bitchin' to be back. LEON I bet it is. So, we saw the footage from World Without End and obviously, you're not going to want to dwell on that for too long. But how are you feeling after that, after what Holly-Wood and The Heavenly Rockers did? MELODY I'm okay physically. Us Nerdlys are a tough breed. I grew up with 34 brothers and sisters... uh, more or less. Hard to remember sometimes. The point is, there were a bunch of us, so we had to fight for everything we got. I'm a tough girl. I wouldn't have gotten into the ring with The Heavenly Rockers if I wasn't. Don't get me wrong, the DDT was the sux0rs. But what hurt the most was what Holly did to me. I don't wanna sound sappy but I really thought we were friends. She trickd me and she tricked these people, just to humiliate me in front of the world. That's what hurts. LEON Well, you were sticking up for your guys The Lone Star Gunslingers and there deserves commending. When you first became their manager, I don't think anyone thought it'd last. But you've proven people wrong. MELODY Yeah, well, people thought just cause I picked up most of my managerial tactics from Madden 2005 I wasn't manager material. But I turned The Gunslingers into the best quarterbac... uh, the best tag team around. I guess I did teach them one lesson wrong though- trust. We trusted the wrong people and now look what's happened. LEON To be fair, I don't think anyone saw it coming. You can't blame yourself for that one. So, with all that in mind, what's next now for you? MELODY Revenge. "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" LEON ...well, that's pretty concise. And let's face it, it's no more than they deserve. "HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Suddenly, all heads turn to the entrance way as THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS are on the march to the ring! Melody quickly pulls herself off the couch and on Leon's beckoning she gets herself behind the desk next to her. Already dressed ready for their participation in the battle royal, Logan and Synth climb into the ring with Synth grinning at the abuse being hurled his way by the fans. Finding Melody's abandoned mic on the couch, The Synthmeister chucks it to Logan, who's well versed with microphones and proves it with a one handed catch. LOGAN Revenge Of The Nerds, huh? Listen girl, you wanna quit playing with fire before this ball of flames tears right through you! "LO - GAN SUCKS!" "LO - GAN SUCKS!" "LO - GAN SUCKS!" "LO - GAN SUCKS!" LOGAN It's pretty obvious when the brains were being handed out round the Nerdly household, you got an even shorter share of the goods than everyone else. But you better wisen up and quick. You didn't take the last message. You better well take the next one! Me and Holly, we let you down real easy at World Without End. You got a taste of what comes with messing with the big boys of the OAOAST and you got put in your damn place. So, if you want more, REALLY want more, I suggest you think very carefully about dishing out your little threats without anyone to back your ass up. SYNTH Yeah, see, I don't see no Nerdlys and I don't see no Cowboys. Although, if you want to know what being a cowgirl is like again, I've got plenty of experience with that position. Melody mouths something towards the HRs. You don't need a microphone to tell it's hardly anything flattering. LEON Listen, if you two have finished proving what 'big men' you are, I suggest you hop along and get ready for your match. LOGAN Listen buddy, your show just went from Z-list to A-list, so you oughta be thanking us. LEON A fake rock band? Well, wowzas! Aren't I just the luckiest? No offence but... well, this ISN'T Spinal Tap. Logan laughs that off and takes a step towards the desk. But Leon quickly steps around in front of the desk, squaring up to the MACHO Macho Mann! Turning and giving his partner and bandmate a 'can you believe this guy' look, Logan smirks at Rodez. LOGAN Leon, Leon. I'm sure you figure because you're banging this chick's sister you're entitled to stand up for her, but don't get yourself mixed up in something that doesn't concern you. Right on cue, Synth starts to make his way around the other side of the desk, but Leon quickly pulls him back by the arm... *SMACK!* ...but leaves himself wide open for a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! from the other side!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leon goes down, bouncing off of his desk on the way, before getting pounced upon by The Heavenly Rockers! Like a pack of vultures Logan and Synth put a beating on The Silky Smooth One, as Melody watches on in horror. SCHIAVONE Jesse... The Heavenly Rockers, they're out of control! VENTURA It's broken down in The Love Shack, Schiavone! Synth and Logan are a law unto themselves, more fool anyone who gets in their way! Logan continues to put the boots to Leon as Synth sweeps the desk clean, locking eyes with Melody who suddenly finds herself trapped. With a glame in his eye, The Synthmeister glides across the desk and lunges for Melody. Luckily she manages to get away, only to run right into the path of Logan Mann, who catches her by the hair and wrenches her head back! Melody instantly drops to her knees and pleads for mercy from the MACHO Macho Mann, who doesn't seem like he's going to oblige. WAHAHAHAHA, WAH, WAH, WAH... For a moment, Logan is distracted as the PA system warbles. But after that momentary confusion he goes right back to Melody, pulling her to her feet and dressing down the young Nerdly sibling. Logan then pulls her back by the hair again... and right into a front facelock! SCHIAVONE OH NO! VENTURA They're gonna put her out again! *CRACK!* SCHIAVONE NO THEY'RE NOT! VENTURA The hell!? Suddenly, the fans come unglued as Synth goes flying across the desk! Logan looks up his eyes bulge out of his head in shock, as a chair suddenly comes hurtling towards his face... *CRACK!* ...and knocking him off his feet, unable to throw his hands up in time. Melody scrambles away from the fallen Mann and pulls herself up, diving into the arms of JOCK MULLIGAN!! Meanwhile, BARON WINDELS scrapes Synth off of the desk, pitching him out of the ring on the entrance's side! Soon to follow is Logan, staggering to his feet and into a right hand from Baron, deflecting him into the ropes ready for a clothesline from Mulligan to send Mann spiralling to the arena floor! The Heavenly Rockers decide to turn tail and save themselves while they can, both looking shell-shocked as The Lone Star Gunslingers take up camp in the ring and dare Logan and Synth to come back and fight. SCHIAVONE THE GUNSLINGERS ARE BACK! And they've sent The Heavenly Rockers running! They're not so brash right now, huh Jesse!? Logan still looks shocked, as Synth rants and raves beside him, trying to pull away from his partner to apparantly take up The Gunslingers on their invitation. Whether it's bluff or not isn't clear but it doesn't take Synth much convincing to get 'dragged' back up the aisle, especially once "Thriller" hits again. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" With Logan and Synth still spitting threats in the direction of the ring, Melody embraces both of her Gunslingers before raising their hands in the air triumphantly. Jock pulls away to help Leon up to his feet, making sure he's okay as Baron shakes his hand for his courage. SCHIAVONE Not a moment too soon, The Lone Star Gunslingers have returned to the OAOAST! The Heavenly Rockers had some bad intentions here tonight. But they didn't get to carry them out on Melody Nerdly, thank goodness. Once Baron and Jock showed up, well the Heavenly Rocker tourbus sped away! VENTURA They've got a battle royal to worry about Schiavone, they've got no call to stay and fight! SCHIAVONE They had no call intimidating a young woman either! Who knows what they would have done if not for Baron Windels and Jock Mulligan's interventions! The Gunslingers, Leon and Melody are all in one piece and begin to make their way out of the ring, Melody giving Leon a peck on the cheek for his chivalry before walking off with her Gunslingers. SCHIAVONE Well, that Tag Team Championship battle royal will be up next here at the Halloween Spectacular. Stay tuned, we will be right back! Edited November 4, 2007 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 (edited) BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a twelve team battle royal for the One and Only World Tag team Championships! Let's meet the competitors in the ring... first weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred nine pounds, they are The Mover From Vancouver, James Blonde, and The Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu! James Blonde and Faqu are dressed as classic 1950's plastic soldiers, outfitted in authentic army gear, and covered from helmet to boot in green paint. BUFFER And next, coming in at a combined weight of four hundred thirty six pounds, from The Windy City, they are, Doctor Max Anderson, Doctor Stephen Pigley, The Love Doctors! Pigley has attired himself as one of fright night's trademark ghouls, the mummy. Its a fitting costume given the terrible arm injury he's suffered at the hands of his hated rivals, The Beverly Hills Blonds. Anderson's costume is a whimsical role reversal, as he now plays the role of patient, dressed up as the guy from the board game Operation. Its a beige bodysuit, consisting of the well known apple for an adam's apple, a plate of spare rips indicating the rips, a small horse representing a Charlie horse, and look there's like eighty teams to go, you wanna know what the costume looks like, go to Toys R Us and buy the damn game, w/yo broke ass. COACH That costume is only good if you like being poked all night, and from the looks of that metrosexual sissy, he certainly does, he certainly does. Also if your gimmick is that you're strippers why is one of you coming in a body cast and the other coming in a potato sack? BUFFER At a combined weight of four hundred eighty pounds, Quentin Benjamin, Charlie Moss, TEAM HEYROSSSS! “BOOOOOO!” With their muscular bodies cloaked behind a thick layer of gold paint, the former WDW tag team champions proudly jam their index fingers into football jerseys that match their glossy skin color. A curious fit of chatter occupies the audience, as they try to determine the exact identity of the pair's costumes. However, their confusion is quickly alleviated when Moss and Benjamin strike a legendary sports pose. COACH I get it! They're the hesiman trophy! The greatest athletes in the OAOAST dressed as an award to recognize the greatest athlete in college athletics. But these guys ain't no Ron Dayne or Eric Crouch. Its nothing but mad success and much glory tonight for my picks to take home the One and Only World Tag Team Titles. BUFFER And from Newport Harbor, California by way of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, they are the returning CHRIST AIR EXPRESS! “YEAAAAAAA!” In act that's sure to condemn us all to hell, and prevent us from ever visiting any red states (which are each their own little slice of hell all by themselves), The Nerdly twins are looking ab-blasphemous in their "Buddy Christ from Dogma" costume. Satin robes, and fine cloth flutter through the air, while the Express flash a thumbs up that's every bit the disengious equal to the smarmy wink and a smile on their plastic Jesus masks. BUFFER And from the 90210, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred sixty pounds, joined at ringside by Molly Nerdly, they are THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS. BOOOOOOOO Arrogantly believing himself to have the finest outfit of the participants, Simon Singleton, performs a slow, graceful twirl to afford the fans a chance to admire his custom designed Academy Award costume. However, his glimmering gold painted figure isn't met with awed reverence from the fans, but rather with outright hostility from Team Heyross who assume he's stolen their costume! A frenzied verbal donnybrook boils into near fisticuffs, as three men who look liked they've been 69ing Goldust have the type of debate usually reserved for eighth grade ice cream socials. Ned, on the other encounters none of the accusations of theft his partner was cursed with, as no one in their right mind would ever wear the penis costume he has on. As half the crowd rushes to the bathroom to throw up after noticing how intricate and accurately the penis is depicted, Blanchard exudes a smug satisfaction. Those who remain seated are rewarded with a titillating image of Molly, dressed in an adorably sexy Little Bo Peep costume, a frilly ruffled pink mini dress that accentuates her slim legs and scarcely goes beyond her creamy thighs. The only bad about this is that she's brought along sheep. Lots of sheep. Live sheep. BUFFER And, from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, LOS DIABLOSSSSS! Los Diablos have arrived to the evenings festitives in the only costume befitting of their near legendary flamboyance: BUFFER And representing the OAOAST first responders unit please give it up for Detective Tango Bosley, and EMT Tim Cash, RESCUE 9-1-1! Cash has come dressed as the DC comic book hero the Flash, while Bosley wears the much more cumbersome outfit of smoky the bear. BUFFER And, Florida please give a warm welcome to LOS CONQUESTIADORS.... Despite it being repeated oh about sixty billion times that this is a costume battle royal, the winless duo, seemed to have missed the memo, because unless you count gross incompetence as a costume, then they're absent any Halloween attire! COACH What the hell are Uno and Dos supposed to be? COLE Uno is Dos and Dos is Uno! COACH The company ran out of money for the costume budget, didn't they? Convict....Convict....Convict Up front Yeah.... Convict Music A tight tension grips hold of the venue, as the frightful piano melody of Cross That Line decorates the audio landscape. Boos froth from the rabid mouthes of the Florida crowd, while The Militia's most violent exploits replay across the videoscreen. Oooooh ooooh oooooh If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya (save ya, save ya) I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga And we all for that papah (papah) Comin' from a life of crime Tryna be on my best behavior You see my rep's gettin' bigger but still that same nigga bustin' shots at them haters (them haters, them haters) But only if you cross that line A booming bass echoes into the night, signaling the arrival of the South Central Militia. The entrance doors tear apart, pouring a thick cloud of smoky haze into the foreboding cemetery scene. Carried in with the tremendous swell of smoke are the imposing figures of the former tag team champions, The South Central Militia. Slicing his way through the mist is the bestial One-Eye Wallace. Whereas most days he might emerge with a roar that could shake the underworld, on this night, Wallace steps with a grace and charm befitting of his three piece suit, and neatly pressed hair. Its an innocent, if not ambiguous costume, until the camera pans around to reveal that he has a Caucasian penis lodged into his BUTT cheeks! COACH I got this one. Nice suit, neat professional non-nappy hair, disingenuous smile, and taking it up the ass from the white man? He's Barack Obama! Vincent's costume is every bit the equal to Wallace in terms of exuding a professional class, a matching three piece suit, and a similar neatly pressed hair piece. The only difference seen on Vincent's costume is the white picket fence stuck between his legs. COACH Constantly straddling a fence? That one is easy, he's Rudy Giuliani! COLE I never knew The Militia were such keen political commentators. Flashing an unusually charming smile, the duo adjusts their ties and offer friendly nods to a not so friendly fanbase. They then stride down the entry rap, absent of their typical trash talk, which has now been replaced with empty handshakes and vacant smiles towards a distrustful fanbase. BUFFER From the mean streets of South Central Los Angeles, they are Vincent "WHITEY" Santana, Marcellus "ONE EYE" Wallace, the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIAAAAA!! They dive into the ring, and ascend to opposite turnbuckle where their fists pump into the air in defiant triumph. The camera rotates around their rebellious ritual, as the chilling blue lights continue to dance along the ringside area. COLE The Militia haven't quite been able to capture the success they saw earlier in the year when the OAOAST tag titles, but we'll see what they can do tonight against quite a number of tough foes. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees The disgust shown for Militia only carries over and magnifies when the dripping sounds of yesterday's soft rock hits spill into the arena. Signs calling for the deportation of Rico instantly go up into the air, joined by rousing chorus of “WRECKING CREW SUCKS” chants. While bad vibes may pollute the stands, nothing can corrupt the delicate mood of the entryway, where soft purple and pink lights give an otherwise grizzly scene a slight romantic touch. But there's no love shown to Rico De Janiero, who strolls out in a king's robe, and a jewel encrusted crown. Holding a ruby adorned scepter he waves to his disloyal subjects, bidding the more attractive among them to remove their clothing. Behind him is Lucius Soul dressed as the one thing someone with a gigantic afro can possibly go as, Jimi Hendrix! COACH Kingly attire for the King of Mardi Gras! And ya gotta ask yourself can The Wrecking Crew be crowned kings of the tag division tonight. They came close in the Scramble Cage match, then again at Zero Hour. Is tonight their night? BUFFFER Introducing first from New Orleans, Louisiana, standing six feet two inches and weighing in at one hundred eighty eight pounds, he is SWEET LUCIUS SOOOOULL! And his partner standing at five feet eleven inches, weighing two hundred twenty five pounds, from Rio De Janeiro, he is The King of Mardi Gras, RICO DE JANEIRO! Together they the MARDI GRAS HOME WRECKING CREWWWWWW! The announcement of their name is not warmly welcomed by the crowd, who continue to pour out a river of jeers. But their disgust is ignored by a smiling Rico who happily waves as he parades down the ramp. Soul stays focused on the task at hand, making the belt motion around his waist, in between pointing his boney fingers to the teams all ready in the ring. COLE The last ever HI-YAH tag team champions, looked pretty impressive in their wars against The Gunslingers and The Rockers, but its a whole different ball game when you're facing down eleven other teams. HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT The jeers offered to The Militia and The Wrecking Crew, seem like an emission of heartfelt warmth and compassion when placed in comparassion with the burning hostility received by the incoming Rockers. Made a touch nervous by the sharp rise in the crowd's anger, the security guards tense up, nervously anticipating that a more bold fan may make a play against the hated grouping. Their fears definitely aren't set at ease, when Abdullah is seen dancing through the cemetery, dressed as Osama Bin Laden! As the fans cock their arms to hurl debris at him, he joyfully spits on the various graves through a toothsome smile. COLE How can you support a team that associates with a man who dresses up as Osama Bin Laden? COACH You act like he's dressing up like some kind of criminal. Far less inciteful and much more pleasurable then Abby's outfit, is Holly-Wood's costume. Her thin made for the runway body stretches through the dress made famous by Pebbles from The Flintstones, and a cute bone ties up her saucy naturally redhair. As fetching as her costume is, the real show stealers are The Rockers, who have dressed their upper bodies as milk cartons. A confusing costume certainly, until you look at the back and see the image of The Global Party Exchange pasted above huge bold letters that read MISSING: HAVE YOU SEEN US?. ***SHOTS FIRED**** (Patty sez: credit to KC for the joke!) COLE That's not right! The fans are inclined to agree, tossing even more hateful taunts The Rockers' way. Synth and Abdullah, may spend their time jawing back at their many enemies in the crowd, but Logan and Holly preoccupy themselves with a made for the Spice Channel makeout session atop the entry way. BUFFER Now playing in Daytona Beach, Flordia COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the “GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time“...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! The camera pans towards The Christ Air Express, who are all smiles at The Rockers arrival. But that could just be because their wearing a smiling Christ mask. I'm sure underneath, they're very upset. Abdullah Abir does his best to avoid their gazes, keeping himself behind the chiseled physique of Logan Mann. Logan pays little attention to Abdullah, and instead joins Synth in rather loudly and obnoxiously informing each tag team of what order they plan to eliminate them. COLE A little conceited if you ask me! You haven't even started the match, fellas. In fact the last time we had a battle royal, there were sixteen teams and you got tossed out third! COACH That was a pussified, waterdown version of The Rockers. And they got eliminated because of Gunslinger stupidity. These are the real Rockers. And the real Rockers are going down to the wire with Team Heyross or The Mardi Gras Wrecking Crew. Count on that. With only one team left to go the chants begin in earnest C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D! Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! The enthusiastic cheerleading bounce of Avril's smash hit, ushers in even more enthusiastic chants from the sold out crowd, as a waterfall of pink pyro dives in front of the jumbo video screen. Its sparks are splashed along the stage, when its tagged by a fresh geyser of red pyro . That serene pairing is then overpowered by the dominant thunder that comes from the golden pyro wall that takes over the entry way. COLE And here comes the champions! Delighting an audience that snaps constant pictures of her beautiful image is The Blond Tornado (aka Krista Isadora Duncan). Her buxom upper body fits into a sleek black and yellow deep plunging long sleeve top, with a yellow tornado emblem on the chest. Slender legs stretch beautifully from a black leather skirt into heavily buckled stiletto heels. Though her usual fashionably sexy look is present and accounted for, her expression of unshakable confidence is noticeably absent, substituted for by a worried look of confused annoyance. The audience is confused over her confusion, until they realize that something truly is afoul. There's no Alix! Over her shoulder, the superheroine continues to peer back the entry way, waiting for Alix to come and leap into her arms as she's done for so many matches this year. But the only thing Krista gets is smoke from the smoke machines and a steady bout of anxiety. Left with no choice, a dismayed Krista sulks down the entry ramp. Though the fans are incredibly disappointed to not see Alix, they don't let that temper them from their show of support for the present member of COD. BUFFER Now making her way to the ring from Los Angeles, California, she is a proud single mother, a best selling author, a founder of the world renowned fitness videos FIT WITH KID, she is the beauitufl, the intelligent, the talented, Miss California, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! COACH Where the hell is Alix? What's going on? Tyler Bryant is here. Mister Borucia is here. Niggas who aint had matches since the summer is lurking backstage and the tag champ ain't even showin up? COLE I haven't heard any word from her that she wouldn't be here. Obviously something is wrong, but the question is what. And is Krista even going to be allowed to wrestle without a partner? As Krista is greeted by the ringside officials, that seems to be the pressing question. She insists she doesn't know where Alix is, and worry lines sprout onto her face as she continues gazing back to an empty entry ramp. The referees haven't a clue what to do, not knowing if they should permit Krista to wrestle or not. Krista doesn't seem to care what they do, only wanting to hear word on Alix. Eventually the referees decide on making the match a non title costume battle royal, which being overheard by Adullah and Molly, does not go over very well. The two Nerdly children are ENRAGED and violently verbalize their protests. ABDULLAH لاسبوع الماضي الفرجة الازرقع و عاجز ، واعرب اكثOAOAST ر من لفة على ظهره ، صاحب السلس السلوك غير مرئي ، ما يقرب من جلبت الى نقطة من الدموع. البنات لا يبدو ان المعنيين مع صاحبKrista محنة ، وبدلا من ا. Alix يتأرجح krista حولها ، مبتسما كما krista زخات MOLLY Uh-huh, yeah, what he said. Having exposed themselves as not knowing what the hell they're doing, the OAOAST officials allow the Nerdly kids to the call the shots, and change the match back to a title affair. They give Krista the option of competing, which she readily accepts, eager to get her mind off Alix's whereabouts. COLE Kirsta's gonna do this one by herself. And I can't imagine the difficulty involved in that. She'll need to clear her mind, and concentrate one hundred percent on the match. Edited November 1, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 (edited) DING DING DING No sooner then a second after the bell sounds, do Los Conquistadors seek to gain an easy elimination, with a furious charge towards the Heavenly Rockers. While the other competitors wage an indistinguishable slugfest with one another, the boys in gold subdue The Rockers with a calvary of forearm smashes. But this advantage doesn't last for very long, as Synth succeeds in overpowering Uno with a simple thumb to the eye. Free of Uno, Esizer is able to assist his partner in trapping Dos into a front facelock. Despite the luchadore's struggles to remain grounded, they manage to elevate him into the skies as they edge closer and closer to the ropes. Sensing that his comrade's soon to face elimination, Uno flares forward to strike The Rockers with a lariat! A jumbled mishmash of pvc, faux-leather, bad hand writing and white cardboard topples over the ropes to the immense delight of the crowd. But its only the PVC and faux leather that feel the sting of the ring mats, as The Heavenly Rockers are able to hook onto the ropes and remain on the apron, earning a round of boos in the process. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Los Conquistadors LEFT: 1st LEFT IN RING: 11 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: The Heavenly Rockers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Couple of first rate losers, shoulda kept ya Mexican jumping bean ass in that INS detention center. These the type of fools who'd get dunked on in a wheelchair basketball league. Having to deal with potentially being eliminated by the two worst wrestlers on the roster is bad enough! But imagine having to deal with potentially being eliminated by our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. That's exactly the fate facing down the apron based Rockers, as they're thrown under a barrage of punches from MARV and MEL! Their archrivals terrorize them with an endless parade of jabs and hooks, leaving small welts on The Rocker's face, and each throwing the crowd into a frenzy over their potential elimination. But Colonel Abdullah Abir takes evasive maneuvers to ward off his brothers' quest for vengeance; he leaps onto the ring apron and swats the Jesus imposters in their thick beards with two unholy strikes of his Koran! The overmatched Express tumbles away from their prey, felled by the awesome might of Islam! ABULLAH MOLLY The OAOAST! Come for the goofy gimmicks, and stay for the offensive religious commentary! Elsewhere, in less religiously intolerant sectors of the ring, Charlie Moss and Marcellus Wallace have made it their mission in life to rid the match of the bulky Samoan, Faqu. Combining their impressive strength, they manage to at least lift part of his blubbery physique over the top rope. However, their success all but ends there, as James Blonde comes crashing into their alliance like a bat out of hell with an axe handle smash! While Moss, manages to avoid the strike, Wallace is dropped faster then Obama's chances of ever getting elected. In celebration of executing one of the most basic maneuverer in all of pro-wrestling, Blonde arrogantly begins brushing his shoulders. But this allows the gold painted Moss to surprise his green painted rival, by grabbing onto his army fatigues, and attempting to dump him over the ropes! Desperate not to be eliminated before the guy dressed as the giant penis, Blonde furiously begins bashing his helmet into Moss' body! COACH If someone was really smart they would've come dressed as Edward Scissorhands. Nothing is able to halt Moss from his task until Faqu drives the point of his elbow directly into the the back of his jersey. Saved from elimination, Blonde tries to enact a measure of revenge on his foe by joining his partner in underhooking Moss' arms. Together they flip the amateur superstar forward, seeking to hip toss him over the ropes. But, Moss counteracts their efforts, by planting his boots firmly onto the paint stained cables, then shooting his body backwards to pummel the luckless pair with a double inverted DDT! COACH Strike the pose, baby! Moss would be able to strike the Heisman pose if he weren't being mowed down by a lariat from a six foot two spandex penis. Our phallic pugilist, Ned Blanchard begins pumping stomps into Moss' back, decimating the former WDW tag team champion with a anamalistic joy. COLE Did you see how fast that dick came? And now he's exploding all over Moss! Without warning Ned is ripped away from his victim by the mummified remains of Stephen Pigley. Hungering for retribution over the injuries suffered earlier in the night, Pigley cocks (lolpun!) his hand back and blasts Ned into a vacant corner! COLE What force behind that punch! Stephen Pigley's arm was injured severely in the match with The Blonds earlier tonight, and we wants a little payback! A desperate bid for escape is exerted by Blanchard, but the bandage coated fist of his horrifying attacker locks him into place, and all he can do is coverup and pray to god for assistance. His calls for help are speedily answered by the king of the box office, Simon Singleton, who slams his two hundred thirty pounds into Pigley with a bodysplash. Exhausted by the combination of his previous injuries and that dangerous strike, Pigley slowly staggers out of the corner like a...well..a mummy! Unable to see past his blurred vision and uncomfortable bandages, he can do nothing to stop Quentin Benjamin from flattening him with a spinning heel kick. COACH Its gonna take a lot more then a few ace bandages to get yourself right after that one, Pigley! The fact that Benjamin has blatantly “stolen” his costume isn't lost on Simon, and the BOSS immediately dives upon the thief for his fashion transgression. Joined by Blanchard, the South Carolina transplant manages to hammer the Washingtonian into submission. With Benjamin incapable of offering any resistance, the three time tag team champions drag him onto the their shoulders for a modified DVD that would propel him from the ring. However, that devastating hold never comes to pass as Benjamin regains his wits, and peels off their shoulders to drive them into the canvas with a double DDT! Unfortunately for QB, not a second later does he become the victim of a running front flip neckbreaker courtesy of Doctor Anderson! COLE Don't think Anderson forgot that superkick Benjamin hit Pigley with! Its evident that Anderson will neither forgive no forget Benjamin for heel kicking his partner, as he removes his plastic tongs from his costume and proceeds pummel his fallen rival! But he's not granted much of a chance to turn QB into his next ER patient, thanks to the recovered BHB's overwhelming him with a flurry of forearm strikes. The Blonds then foist him onto their shoulders. Stepping over the beaten frame of Benjamin, Ned and Simon venture to the edge of the ring, and casually fling their victim over the top cable. But their nonchalance becomes costly, as they inadvertently dump Anderson onto the apron. The MD is quick to profit on this second life; he leaps to his feet and swats away BOSS with an elbow strike. The BHB's continue to fall like bowling pins, as Anderson levels the remaining member with a ferocious swipe of his oversized tweezers! COLE Anderson is a one doctor wrecking machine! Anderson attempts to step into the ring, hungering to continue this thrashing of his archrivals. However, his entry is halted by cinematographer extraordinarie Miss Molly Nerdly, who clamps a death grip onto his ankle. Quickly frustrated, Anderson offers furious efforts to free himself from her grip. But the Nerdly girl is steadfast in refusal, unwilling to remove Anderson from her clutches. Tired of Molly's annoyances, the MD utilizes his superior strength to violently shove the much smaller woman away! Now free of Molly's grip, Anderson's narrowed eyes stare into their face as though they were intent on burning a hole through her skull. Molly tries to move, but can't, the terror of Anderson's intimidation holding her immobile. “Oh you mustn't attack me! I still have student loans to repay!” Never one to let the call of a potential dyke out project go un-heeded, Krista moves to rescue Molly from her aggressor, while eliminating him from the contest at the same moment. However, thanks to sharp glance towards a video screen, Anderson witnesses Krista's arrival, and immediately works to befall America's favorite lesbian superhero. With an athletic leap, he elevates himself onto the cables, foreshadowing a springboard assault. However, Krista is every bit his superior in speed and agility, and shoots upwards to slam her shoes into his face. The force of her strike drives Anderson's plummeting figure from the ring, shattering it into pieces on the ring mats. There's a deafening snap, and Anderson lets out such a cry of anguish that for an instant the audience feels sorry for him. Then they forget all about him and turn their cheers towards Krista. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Love Doctors LEFT: 2nd LEFT IN RING: 10 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Krista Isadora Duncan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “And now the OAOAST returns from the parallel universe where The Love Doctors were a semi-competent tag team to our normal reality where they continue to suck a fountain of cock.” Krista comments. Ned is overcome with joy to see his perpetual rivals expelled from the match, and has to express this delight through the medium of modern dance. NED “Do you see that? That's the father of my child! And you wonder why I'm a lesbian?” Krista yells to no one in particular. Mere inches away from Krista the war between Rescue 911 and the Wrecking Crew flames vehemently, as Rico De Janiero attempts to lift Bosley's bulky Smokey the Bear costume over the ropes. But Bosley clings onto the cables, as if the very existence of the endangered Montana Brown Bear depended on it. While, he fights a seemingly hopeless battle to survive, his spandex clad partner offers a ray of hope, rushing forward to shoulder block the Brazilian. But Rico anticipates Cash's arrival and slides out the way, leaving the comic book legend to smash into his dangling comrade! Bosley tumbles over the ropes, but on sheer luck alone, lands safely on the ring apron. COLE Detective Bosley almost eliminated from this contest! While Rico would love to simply shove Bosley to the floor with a callous swat of his bejeweled boot, there's the nagging matter of an unacceptable bug infestation consuming his kingly robes! A bug infestation? Well, certainly that's the only logical explanation for why the King of Mardi Gras feels like his ass is being chewed out by Pacman's extended family. The only logical explanation that is until Rico looks over his shoulders and sees the glitter stained legs of Mariachi's Cher costume protruding from beneath his robe. “Comece-me ir-se foder cara da merda!” Rico's normally smooth, now high-pitched and alarmed, voice chirps. COACH I don't speak of word of Portuguese but I'm pretty sure he wasn't saying “use lube next time”. Whatever De Janiero said, he screams it repeatedly, as he loses all sense of royal composure and darts about the ring in a mad effort to keep what's left of his salad from being tossed. The audience is delighted by Rico predicament, rooting on the flamboyant luchadore as he commits the kind of sexual harassment that could make Isiah Thomas blush. The fans' cheers grow even louder when Rico's crazed escape route is shut down by a double BUTT bump from EMT Cash and Moracca! “DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO!” the fans sing. CASH and MORACCA MOLLY Biting Moracca's queer bait costs Cash dearly, for Lucius Soul punishes him for his distraction with a front Russian leg sweep. Moracca isn't spared from Soul's path of terror, as he's bowled over by aspinning side kick. Soul doesn't bother with admiring his quick destruction Cash and Moracca, and instead throws himself into the task of eliminating Mariachi. His bony fingers weave through the Mexican's ten dollar wig, using the cheap fabric as a leash to guide him towards the ropes. Once he reaches his destination he disposes of Mariachi as though he were common garbage, easily slinging him over the cables! But cheers ring out through the night, as the audience watches Mariachi preserve his chances for survival by hooking his hands onto the second rope. The avoidance of the elimination causes steam to pour out every pore in an enraged Soul's body. But there's no opportunity for him to exorcise his anger, due to a lethal diving shoulder tackle from Detective Bosley! As the smooth soul bro crumples to the mat, Bosley celebrates his moment of victory with a fistpump! COACH The Love Doctors already gone out, why can't Rescue 911 and Los Diablos do the same? I know I can't always get what I want, but damn, can a nigga at least get what he needs? Elsewhere, MARV gets precisely what he doesn't need, namely impaled onto the top rope by a reverse suplex from Simon Singleton. While his opponent can do nothing more then hack and wheeze, BOSS comes in with a measured knee that implants perfectly into MARV'S nose, thrusting him out the ropes grip as well as out of this contest. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Christ Air Express LEFT: 3rd LEFT IN RING: 9 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: The Beverly Hills Blonds ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ But wait! There's the small matter of the crushed turban that extends from MARV's backside, and the spindly legs that twitch awakwardly beneath his two hundred pounds. ABULLAH تحصل لي من يستغل الاحمق برعشيت الدماغ انا اكره لك انت تقتل يستغل سوء الامتصاص لك انك انت يخون MARV Molly, translate. MOLLY “The very foolish male is the fact that it is the suction cup of the chicken! I am not the bitch which kills! Before I put out the fire, the hell of sexual intercourse is obtained from me!” Oh pity! I must stop using this google translator! COLE I think MARV just landed on his own brother! The muffled profanities of the broken manager, indicated that this is so, and the crowd rejoices with glee as the referees note that MARV's feet never touched the floor, only the crushed carcass of his brother. Thus he's allowed to continue in the bout. “Thanks, Colonel! You da man, b!” MARV half-heartedly compliments his sibling, as he uses his busted back as a step ladder to get back to the apron. MARV'S sudden return to the contest doesn't sit well with Singleton, and he angrily, rains blows at random, seeking to simply cut MARV down with his crazed punches. But, the Canadian halts Simon's attack, by calmly slicing his shoulder into his pudgy midsection. Singleton is left doubled over in agony, a helpless dupe to the double stomp his agile foe directs towards his noggin. MARV's sandals land with stunning force, yanking Singleton away from the ropes, and depositing him onto the canvas where his tortured screams spill through the night. COLE You have to give due respect to the Christ Air Express, they've come on strong tonight, avoiding near elimination and nearly eliminating The Rockers. Where Simon so horribly failed, Logan intends on meeting with great success, as he comes screeching down the ropes, with a lariat. But MARV swoops beneath the attack, the strands of his wig flowing gracefully behind him. Displeased by the miss, Logan retries his efforts, but again encounters failure when his adversary horsewhips a high kick into his face. Clutching his nose, Logan is forced to back away from the ropes, which gives MARV easy entry into the contest. The former skater boy comes on impossibly powerful, like a destroyer droid with a sword, each step a punch, every punch a step. Logan backs away as fast he dares but MARV's fists stay right on top of him. Mann's breath goes short and hard, then all but evaporates when MEL joins the pounding. “JESUS HATES YOU! JESUS HATES YOU!”the fans sing to Logan. The rock n' wrestling star turned low fat, organically sound, diary product does the only right minded thing to do in such a situation, drop to his knees and beg for mercy from the lord. Or at least the guys who are dressed like him. Forgiveness is the ultimate gift of Christ, and thus the Nerdly's welcome the repented sinner into heaven's gates with a holy embrace. Then they proceed to wallop him with punches sent straight from the devil himself. “SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!” Bored with breaking his knuckles on Logan's face, MEL tosses the rocker into the ropes. Holly tries to latch onto his ankle to prevent a return to his tormentors. But, her movement is just a shade too slow, and a terrified Logan is launched back into a sidewalk slam set-up from MARV. Without a word needing to be spoken between them, MEL leaps into the air with a leg drop, and poor Logan is crushed against the unforgiving canvas by their innovative double team! Mann hollers out in pain, but its scarcely heard over the applause of the audience. Unfortunately, the cheers quickly degenerate into heated boos the minute the fans watch Synth Esizer cut both Nerdlys down with a pair of upper cuts! But Esizer himself then falls prey to a sneak attack; Charlie Moss slams an elbow into the back of his head. His shinning gold arm crashes overhead chops against Synth's thick chest with the unstoppable power of an atomic bomb. Esizer spends lavishly on his energy to try and fight back, but its to no avail, and he's bulldozed into the ropes. Now he clings onto cables, aware that they're the only thing protecting him from an unwelcome exit from this contest. But, Moss comes tirelessly and ferocious, and it seems to be only a matter of time before Synth bids a not so fond farewell to the ring. “Help!” He hollers towards Holly. Instantly Holly springs onto the apron, the bone in her hair now wielded like the deadliest of daggers. The makeshift weapon hammers out, striking Moss between the eyes and ending his attempt to eliminate Synth. COLE Teamwork seems to be of the utmost importance in this tag team battle royal. But, Krista Isadora Duncan for the duration of this match has gone without her tag team partner and girlfriend for unknown reasons. You have to wonder how much that weighs on Krista's mind. The stunning blond champion faces a more immediate predicament with the not-so stunning blond challenger, James Blonde, who easily hip tosses the California sex kitten over the ropes and onto the apron. Oddly delighted by his simplistic move, the arrogant ex HI-YAH grappler begins brushing his green coated skin off. This causes an annoyed Krista to remark, “Wow! Clearly a man in your pristine physical condition is so incredibly attuned to every nuance of his body that I am just left in awe by your exhibition of the delicate intricacies involved in the timeless ballet that is the denouement of the hiptoss. This is your calling, sweet sir. Travel the country and give the people what the want, what they need. Yours is a gift destined to be shared. The sight of your hiptoss would cure AIDS babies on the spot and give hope to a generation that is losing faith in a world gone mad.” Having only dealt with the queen of sarcasm once before, JB inadvertently assumes her compliments were of the serious variety, and thanks her for the kindness. However, his gratitude quickly dissipates when she begins rifling punches into his goateed face! COLE Look at those left hands! Those left hands do enough damage to Blonde to allow Krista to launch herself into the ring, and tighten her gorgeous legs around his neck in a head scissors. COACH Look at those legs! Those beautiful, long, sexy legs... She curses him with a nauseating twirl before tilting her body sideways to violently flip him onto the canvas. Despite the fact that he's well on the verge of vomiting, Blonde quickly scurries to an unsteady vertical base. Krissy tries to capitalize on his wounded state by charging him with a high knee lift. However, JB recovers his health quickly enough to upend her with a back body drop. The audience holds its collective breath, as it appears their heroine is about to meet an untimely end. But her four hundred dollar heels land perfectly on the ring apron, a feat that earns her a thunderous ovation, and the opportunity to take tear stained bows towards audience and thank them for their appreciation. COACH Oh god lord, people have been landing on the apron all night, and she acts like she won an Emmy! Before Krista finishes her curtain call, The Mover From Vancouver is already in motion, threatening to blast her off the ropes with a shuffle kick. But Krista doesn't have two masters degrees for nothing and puts her intelligence to good use, by lowering the top rope. Though Blonde's widened blue eyes spot her treachery, his army boots can do nothing to prevent it, and he's slung over the ropes, left to slip into unconsciousness as his head brutally pangs off the mats. There's no sympathy for Blonde from the fans, who are much to focused on rooting on their favorite lady for her second straight elimination. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ James Blonde and Faqu LEFT: 3rd LEFT IN RING:9 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Krista Isadora Duncan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Krista Isadora Duncan has to work by herself tonight, but that sure isn't stopping her! Mariachi views Krista's position as the perfect opportunity to bring her time in this match to a close. Charging forward, he spins into a blindingly fast discus punch. However, Miss California defeats his approach by smashing her heel into his chin, sending the gender impersonator stumbling backwards. Left dazed and wounded by the attack, he haplessly falls into the eager clutches of Logan Mann. With a twisted smile corrupting his face, Mann heaves the Mexican sensation towards the ring ropes. Minor Problem: Logan, like almost everyone in the match, throws like a three year old paraplegic crack baby, and thus Mariachi is slung onto the ropes, caught between survival and a fast approaching elimination. Krista enlists herself into the task of eliminating Mariachi, and stands upon the bottom rope, leaping up and down in an effort to shake him from his nest. If Krista's technique any effect on Mariachi then its unnoticed by the viewers, who's eyes remain entranced as her massive breasts bounce and jiggle with each thrust. Its the type of once in a lifetime mythical boobie jigglation that bestows motivation to those of us who watch exercise shows on ESPNClassic with our pants off, to rush to the computer and nominate this as match of the decade. NED “Ah, man, gross, this costume is a rental!” Rico complains. Realizing that Krista isn't doing anything more then giving Mariachi a vile case of motion sickness, Logan steps into action. He latches onto the luchadore's glittering boots, and gives him a mighty heave! Mariachi tumbles forward, an avalanche of glitter, sequins, fake hair, and spandex that explodes onto the canvas with a sickening thud. Sickening to the audience that is, but not to Logan Mann, who backs away from the scene of the crime with a bevy of callous laughter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Los Diablos LEFT: 4th LEFT IN RING: 8 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: The Heavenly Rockers & Krista Isadora Duncan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I am a golden god!” Logan Mann informs the audience, holding his arms out to the side to bask in the heavens glow. “ROCKERS SUCK! ROCKERS SUCK! ROCKERS SUCK!” COACH You ain't gotta love The Rockers, but at some point you gotta submit to reality, and realize these dudes is up there as one of the top tag teams of our time. COLE No one's ever debated their talents, only their attitudes, and choices of managers. Speaking of, has Abdullah even gotten off the ground yet? But just as one elimination ends another seems to be beginning, as Singleton pounds away on MEL, doing enough damage to be able to begin pushing him over the cables. But MEL smartly evades dismissal from the match, by flopping onto the apron, and rolling beneath the bottom rope. His intent is to stay there and regain his fleeting breath, but Singleton makes this all but impossible by slingshotting himself over the ropes with a vile double stomp! Not wishing to have his Jesus Mask be crushed beneath Simon's feet, MEL quickly rolls back into the ring, which causes Simon to land himself directly into a jeopardous position on the ring apron. Jeopardous because EMT Cash now looks to knock him from his perch with a shoulder block. Fortunately, Singleton moves a shade quicker then his incoming aggressor, and beats him back with a forearm strike. He hastily returns himself into the ring, and accosts Cash with an inverted facelock. Locking a snarl behind gritted teeth, Simon hooks his foe's spandex tights and jerks the superhero wannabe into the air. He then lets his victim fall forward and across his body, kneeling down so that Cash crashes into an outstretched knee. COACH Let's talk about Bosley for a second. Why that man gonna wear a cartoon bear costume? Bitch be in his forties and walks out to that crap with no shame? Unfortunately, Singleton is quick to join Cash on the list of wrestler's in dire need of a masseuse, as MEL impales him with a twisting neckbreaker. “Did ya get that one on camera, Molly.” MEL asks his elder sister, voice dripping with condescension. “Oh of course I did! The world is the Siclopse's blank canvas, and all the colors of the known universe, are at my disposable for a wealth of beautiful brushstrokes!” “What's that on the camera lens?” “Its the lens cap, you stupidly stupid moron! I always keep it there during filming, so I won't lose it.” “Wow, you're smart, Molly!” “Oh of course I am! I do go to graduate school, after all.” Directly behind this conversation, Quentin Benjamin whips Vincent Santana into the ring ropes. As he returns, Santana springs upwards, ready to flatten QB with a Lou Thez press! But, Benjamin counters this attack by coiling his arms around Santana's scrawny waist. Before “Whitey” is even aware of what's happening he's being launched backwards by a belly to belly suplex! He hits the mat with such impact, that his carefully applied hairpiece comes loose, and his dirty blond hair spills aimlessly about the canvas. Despite the hair piece malfunction, Santana brushes aside his pain, and bullrushes QB. However, Benjamin meets his arrival with a swift knee to his boney midsection. Doubled over in misery, Vinny can do little more then watch in horror as the amateur wrestling star backs into the ropes in order to bounce back with a cross body block. But by the time QB is in the air, Santana regains enough strength to catch him in his arms. Vinny drives his body backwards, which flings QB forward in a one way trip to the outside mats! COLE Is the end for Quentin Benjamin? It certainly might have been had his two hundred thirty five pounds not slammed into MARV and a brawling Rico De Janiero like a runaway truck. MARV simply slumps to the ground, but De Janiero is subjected to an awkward topple over the ring ropes, that lands him robe first onto the apron, and tumbles his gaudy crown off his mulleted head. He scrambles to his feet, preparing to defend against possible elimination. Those defenses are immediately put to the test by Charlie Moss, who joins him on the ring apron accompanied by a wave of punches. Moss works as a mindless machine of slaughter, hammering the royal figure with punch after punch. Finally, De Janiero gets some semblance of offense in, by simply kicking Charlie in the frank n beans! COLE Ow! Illegal defense! First down Charlie Moss! COACH Illegal defense is a basketball penalty. Hell outta here with ya dumb equestrian dressage Brian Boitano figure skating hoomed out crotchless tutu sniffing cracker ass. The cheapshot rips the breath from Moss' lungs and buckles his knees, leaving him a sitting duck for De Janiero's big boot. But, Charlie calls upon his last ounce of energy and glides beneath the hold, causing his attacker to go screeching forward.....right into a missile dropkick from Quentin Benjamin! The sheer force of the strike rocks Rico backwards, and he crumples to the mat as though he'd been pumped full of bullets. A graceless slide to the canvas seems inevitable, and is loudly rooted for by the crowd. But, their desires go unfulfilled, thanks to Lucius Soul, diving onto his partner's foot and keeping his tumbling body away from the ringmats. “Pull me back in! Pull me back in!” Rico screams, as his face comes dangerously close to scraping the black surface before. Straining himself with all his strength, Soul tries his hardest to return Rico to the ring. Frenziedly, he tugs and pulls on his partner, while the Brazilian dangles through the air like an oversized pendulum. Soul's task is made all the more difficult by the fact that Moss that continually rams stomps into the hand that holds Rico above the abyss. The audience openly begs for Rico to taste the fabric of the mats, chanting “FALL! FALL!” at the top of their lungs. COLE How long can Lucius Soul maintain his hold on Rico? And Rico isn't exactly doing anything to help his cause. He looks like a cross between Tarzan and Jerry Lawler, high off that PCP! Above and beyond Soul's field of vision is the twisting and twirling figure of Quentin Benjamin, descending on the clueless superstar with a shooting star press! By the time the pop of the audience alerts him that somehting is amiss, its too late for Soul, and the Heisman candidate slams into his back! The attack is too powerful for Soul's grip to withstand, and his fingers crumble away from Rico's boots, and the Brazilian slowly slides backwards to the mat. Face wrought fear, he scrambles to grab hold of the ring apron. But this only speeds his descent, and within moments he lies sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by the applause of the fans. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew LEFT: 5th LEFT IN RING: 7 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Team Heyross ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Out go the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! Soul looks mad, but he should be happy, now he can get to club earlier and get his grind on! COACH For black folk, getting our grind on means getting up before noon. Only a few inches away from the “Mardi Gras catastrophe”, One-Eye Wallace and Ned Blanchard rifle off punches as though they were unloading machine gun fire, angrily and aimlessly smashing their fists into each others' face. But, as one spent half his life in prison, and the other spent seven hundred dollars on a custom made penis costume, I shouldn't have to tell you who wins this round of boxing. With Blanchard seemingly out on his feet, Wallace prepares to strike him into unconsciousness with the Silver Bullet (Samoan Spike). But as Wallace's hand screams towards his face, Blanchard rips his body beneath it, and carries himself to the ropes. He returns, intent on hammering the ex-con with his infamous 90210 enziguri. He goes rocketing through the skies, but not due to his trademark flashy kick, rather due to the POS (lift up double arm DDT) executed by Marcellus Wallace. “We a beast! Who? We, you dumbass bitch niggas! We!” Wallace hollers, directing his vile glare towards Ned. “That ether gonna be burnin' slow, Ned Blanchard.” “Why? Is ether the codename for your sister's vagina?” A nearby Krista wonders. WALLACE “Okay, take it easy there, OJ. Are you down for a bet? If you beat me in arm wrestling, youhavetoeliminateyourself from the match, but if I somehow beat you, illeliminatemyself. Are ya down?” Wallace nods his agreement, figuring that an arm wrestling contest against a woman less then half his size should present zero problems. “Yo goose is cooked, bitch!” “My goose is cooked? Inside that body of strapping black stallion, lies a dopey middle aged white man who likes to read Dave Barry books and TIVO's reruns of CSI, dying to be free. Very well, everyone please witness that Marcellus is agreeing to my original terms!” She proclaims, then under her breath adds. “LOL at Los Angeles public school system not teaching listening comprehension.” Smirking, Krista lies on her stomach and offers her arm for the unusual battle. Thankful for an easy way to eliminate the tag champion, Wallace joins her on the canvas, and tangles his fingers around her's. As expected, he cruises to a quick victory, minus all excitement, as he drops her arm to the canvas. Triumphantly, Wallace rises off the battle ground, verbally thumping his chest over such an untaxing victory, “You aint gotta go home, bitch, but you gots ta get the hell up out of here!” “Ah! Please refer to our original agreement, dear sir!” Outside official Charles Robinson chimes into recite Krista's original offer. “If you beat me in arm wrestling, you have to eliminate yourself from the match, but if I somehow beat you, I'll eliminate myself. Are ya down?” Realizing his unrivaled failure, Wallace falls out in disgust. “My hubris! ” He finds his eyes turning unaccountably hot, and his vision swims with unshed tears, as he's required to depart the ring under the terms of the bet. He glances to Krista for clemency, but the blond bombshell gives him nothing more then a stare as hard as a glacier. COACH Did that nigga just say “hubris”? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The South Central Militia LEFT: 6th LEFT IN RING: 6 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Krista Isadora Duncan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE With Krista minus a partner she has to resort to some clever tactics to get things towards her favor. As you can guess its not exactly easy for her to go around dumping people over the ropes who outweigh her by over a hundred pounds. She either has to catch them off guard or in this case swindle them out of the match. Elsewhere, the more conventional (although I hesitate to call a grown man in a bear suit “conventional”) Detective Bosley is dealing with Synth Esizer, flooring the rockstar with a right hand. Or in this case paw. Frightened out of his wits by the raw power of the former NYPD officer, a trembling Synth begs for a show of mercy. But its not Bosley who spares Synth from further beatings, rather its Simon Singleton who rushes behind the good officer, and catches him completely unaware with a bulldog! Quick to his feet, Synth offers no hints of gratitude towards his savior, and instead begins peppering him with left jabs. The blows prove to be nothing greater then a slight annoyance to DA BOSS~ and he rids himself of their nagging impact by bashing his enemy with a left cross. Thrilled with his minor accomplishment, Simon snaps and “image” of Synth's beaten body with an imaginary camera phone. However, in his seconds of arrogance, Charlie Moss sneaks behind him, and dropkicks him to the canvas. COLE There's a bit of a long running off again/on again rivalry between Team Heyross and The Enterprise. You had to know it would play out here. Under no inclination to be put in a defensive position, Singleton hurriedly rushes back to his feet. But so does Moss, who strikes first with a series of hellacious kicks. The non-stop attacks chip away at Simon's gold body paint, leaving red welts on pink skin in their place, as he's bulldozed back into the ropes. Even as Simon is tangled into the cables, the kicks continue, determined to send him out of the arena in a wheelchair. Obviously not wishing to spend the week using handicap parking, Singleton mounts the most effective counterattack possible: shoving his vexatious enemy to the mat. Unfortunately there's no reprieve for Si's plight, as the other half of Team Heyross enters the fray with a trio of knife edge chops that rip right through the vulnerable flesh of the three time tag team champion. COACH You have to admire the the team work on display here by Team Heyross! COLE Coach speak for: Charlie's penis tastes of sweet Vienna sausage. and when he burst his love nectar in my mouth it tastes the taste of a spectacular chardonnay! Singleton brings the rampant assault of chops to a sudden end, when he slices his knee into Benjamin's ripped midsection. With Benjamin quieted for the moment, Singleton attaches him into a front waistlock. Trying to move before his opponent can reclaim his strength, Singleton inches to the edge of the ring, where he attempts to launch Benjamin into the second row with a belly to belly suplex. A sudden panic recovers QB's energy, and he reaches to the top rope to freeze SS' efforts. But Singleton will not budge, and continues his attempt to propel Benjamin from the ring. Unable to simply tire Double S into surrender, Benjamin turns to more violent methods, and begins smashing his fists into his adversary's ears. Instantly Singleton's head begins ringing like a cathedral bell, and the stupendous pain is almost too crippling to bear. Forgetting all about quests for victories and tag title reigns, Singleton releases Benjamin and attends to the throbbing headache that overwhelms him. While BOSS may have forgotten all about Benjamin, the Washington native surely hasn't forgotten about him, and reminds Simon of his existence with a rolling wheel kick! The powerful force behind the attack recoils Singleton backwards until he's caught by the ropes. But they chose not to be gracious hosts, and expel him towards the outside! Preemptively the fans erupt with cheers for Simon's elimination, failing to notice the tenuous grip he maintains on the second rope. Beads of sweat streak across every inch of his body, turning his once thickly solid paint into a soupy mush. “LET IT GO! LET IT GO! LET IT GO!” the fans chant, until finally Benjamin attempts to make all their dreams come true with a baseball slide towards the vulnerable Singleton. But Molly finally does something besides provide comedic relief, by scrambling towards Simon locale, and crossing his ankles around the bottom rope. Though Benjamin crashes into Si's chest with NASCAR worthy force, Molly's arrangement manages to keep her employer afloat. However, the danger of elimination remains ever present; Benjamin now takes to merely trying to shove Simon out of title contention. Fortunately, for Simon, who can do nothing more but sulk in the pool of his own body paint, Molly climbs to the apron to assist in holding his position until help can arrive. The fans pop as Molly's skirt rides up, inadvertently treating them to the teenagers-to-men jacktasticlly bootylisicous Cameltoe/Wedgie combo that finishes off the few Johnson-Johnson addicts that managed to hold fort during the fine exhibition of the laws of gravity put on by Krista's jiggling mammaries. Back in the ring, Ned offers his teammates some much needed help, arriving onto the scene to brutally stomp Benjamin away from his partner. COLE Simon was on the brink right there, and an elimination would not have sat well with Mister Moneymaker! Satisfied that Simon's safe from elimination for the time being, Ned directs his attention away from Benjamin and towards the considerably easier target of EMT Cash. A roar of a right hand blasts Cash back into the corner, smashing breath from his lungs, leaving him swaying and half stunned. Ned strides forward, grunting in a tone deeper then a well, and blacker then obsidian. He raises his arm for a killing blow, but never gets to lower it thanks to a rake of the eyes from Cash! COACH “There's nothing more satisfying then making an honest living” Quote EMT Cash. Tell me, Cole, is there anything honest about jabbing your fingers into a man's eye? Cash bellows a low primal shout and flies at Ned, wanting to use his body to crush The Handsome Hustler to the canvas. But Blanchard's hands seize Cash's tight costume, and with impossible strength he tosses him over the ropes! But, before the audience can even react to the possibility of an elimination, Cash's hands flick out with the speed of The Flash, and latch onto the ropes for what little safety they can provide him. “OOOOOOH!” goes the audience. COACH What do they care? They couldn't pick this lame out of a one man police lineup! Cash tests his fast fading grip on the ropes no longer, and pulls himself back into the ring. Witnessing the EMT's return to the contest, paints a ghastly scowl onto Ned's face, and he immediately blasts Cash with a thundering overhand punch to the face. As droplets of blood trickle down the edges of Cash's eye slits, The Handsome Hustler flings him into the ropes. Given a clear path, Cash's feet return him towards the waiting lariat of Blanchard. But he sweeps towards the side the telegraphed attack, winding up behind Ned, who awkwardly careens forward. Blanchard regains his balance alarmingly quickly, and with anger lining his face, turns around to decapitate his enemy with a boomerang lariat. But, Cash counters this fast moving attack with an even faster moving European uppercut. The surprising strike throws Blanchard completely off balance, which permits Cash to trap him into a front facelock. In a scene reminiscent of Los Conquistadors earlier elimination, Cash brings Ned dangerously close to the ropes, and tilts his body backwards, letting gravity take care of the rest. Sadly, gravity exposes itself to be a pretty shitty tag partner, for it annoyingly dumps Ned onto the ring apron. “GET RID OF NED! GET RID OF NED!” the fans chant. COACH Why is it so hard for these losers to put someone over the ropes? What's with all this landing on the apron mess? Upper body strength you weak ass herbs! Get some Body By Jake, a membership at Krista's gym, just do something. COLE For a guy who spends all his time here at this announce booth you sure do talk a lot of smack. Though Ned's now afflicted with Excedrin headache number 15, he refuses to let that stop him from the new lease he's gained on this match. After springing to his feet, he latches onto Cash's heavily gelled hair, and drives his neck into the ring ropes. All the air is instantly seized from Cash's lungs, and his every thought moves towards simply uncovering a way to breathe again. This preoccupation with basic health needs hinders him from seeing the dastardly approach of Simon Singleton. By the time he realizes he's in grave danger, Simon already has him on a freefall to the canvas! SPLAT! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rescue 911 LEFT: 7th LEFT IN RING: 5 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: The Beverly Hills Blonds ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sweat pools around the ring mats, as Cash's body lies void of motion, face down like a buried corpse. Referees swarm to attended to the defeated emergency responder, but the majority of audience attention remains focused on the high fiving Beverly Hills Blonds, and they breate them with a varitey of jeers and taunts. COACH Bout time! Dudes was overstaying they welcome too long. Once Los Diablos and The Love Doctors go out, ya'll gots to get da stepping to! Just as Cash begins to be helped off the mat, MARV upends both Blonds with a double flying forearm. Both their brains functioning at the highest level of cowardice, the recently floored pair begin to roll away from the Christ like figure. But, with robes flaying behind him, MARV trails their path, and arbitrarily decides to wreak havoc on Ned. He scrapes the Handsome Hustler off the canvas, then sets him on a path to the corner. Blanchard's back is ravaged by the rough ring posts, but that's a small inconvenience compared to the body splash the former Sk8r Boi aims at him. At the last possible moment, Blanchard dives out of MARV's trajectory, and the agile grappler is left to helplessly collide with the turnbuckles. While Ned may prefer to capitalize on the opportunity MARV's groggy state permits him, such an action is made wholly impossible by the running dropkick Krista targets him with. Ned quickly skirts aside, which leads to Krista nearly puncturing MARV's trachea with her high heels. The Express member's health ranks about somewhere next to frog fungus reproductive rates on her list of concerns, and the California babe simply uses his chest as a launching pad to flip herself back towards Ned. Her arm coils around his neck, and forces him to go down with her in an inverted DDT! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “I really would prefer, thank you dear Krista, most beautiful of all women, who without her majesty we simple peasants could never survive. Might be kind of hard to work into a chant, try it with rhythmic clapping!” There's little time for Krista to instruct the fans on how to preform the chant, as MEL closes in on her with a shoulder block. But Krista overtakes her one time fitness protege with a whirling back kick that tailspins him into a state of grogginess. Miss California latches onto his arm and flings him through an outcropping of space towards the ropes. But MEL never reaches her intended destination; Charlie Moss smashes him to pieces with a catastrophic sit out spine buster! The fans react in sympathy pain, as they watch MEL curl into a ball of raging agony. COACH MARV and MEL once said they thought of Krista as a second mom. If my mom treated me that way, I'd smack the ho right in her messed up weave game. Right after I give her money for the rent and mow the lawn. Just because Moss vanquished her foe doesn't mean Krista has a chance to rest, for she's now faced with his formidable sibling MARV. The Nerdly twin is far more successful in dealing with Krissy then his brother, seizing on Krista's wrist and throwing her into a corner. He charges after her, past a brawling Synth and Benjamin, assuming he'll be able to merely clothesline her over the cables. However, Miss California prepares to counter his assault, by lifting her million dollar body into the air. The exact second MARV reaches the fitness queen, her award winning legs snake around his neck for a head scissors. COACH Look at those legs! Those beautiful, long, sexy legs... COLE You've done this before... COACH I could do this all night long. MARV takes hold of the objects of Coach's lust, and catapults their owner onto the ring apron. She comes down on her feet, but is instantly put on the defensive by MARV'S attempt to shove her off the ring apron. Krista fights off the attack with a swipe of her knee, rifling him back into the ring and causing him an immeasurable amount of pain. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Well, if Alix were here she'd be able to help Krista fend off MARV. But, mysteriously Alix is no where to be found. Hopefully, she's safe and sound, maybe just got lost on the way to the arena. But, Krista sure hasn't missed a step so far. Although her luck may be running out against MARV. While Moss and Blanchard exchange chops in the background, Krista agilely leaps onto the top turnbuckle. Smiling devilishly, she motions for MARV to get his feet. When he finally agrees to her demands, her bewitching legs again find their way around his neck. Typically having your face buried in a fitness model's crotch is a deal with shelling out some serious scratch for, but not when she's attempting to give you a fifteen foot drop onto paper thin mats, as Krista is doing to MARV. Using his raw strength, MARV shifts his body to face away from Krista, so that he can simply electric chair drop her from the squared circle. But Krista again thwarts his plans, this time by bending her flexible body backwards over the ropes, and employing an unorthodox but crowd pleasing choke on her foe. COACH Buy Krista's entire line of fitness videos like MARV and MEL did, and you to can get illegally choked by the queen of fitness herself. What kind of customer mention is she running? Can, you imagine going into Burger King ordering a whopper and getting powerbombed by the assistant night manager? Form the corner of an eye that's in danger of being swelled shut by Quentin Benjamin, Logan Mann spots the unfortunate predicament of MARV. Eager to be rid of his irksome archenemy, Logan is lured towards the possibilities of elimination presented by MARV's position. But first he must rid himself of his current transgressor, Benjamin. As such, he throws QB into the ropes. When the amateur wrestling star returns, Logan moves in swift succession, hitting him with a kick to the gut, and following that with a snap Percussion DDT! “ROCKERS SUCK! ROCKERS SUCK! ROCKERS SUCK!” the fans instinctively chant. COLE Percussion DDT! As the crowd reacts to his deadly deeds on Benjamin, Logan's mind moves well past the execution of his finisher, and to the execution of MARV. While Krista's powerful thighs continue slowly suffocate MARV and arouse asphyxiation fetishts everywhere, Logan approaches his hated rival. In spite of his depleting energy, MARV summons enough strength to kick out at Logan. But this plays right into Mann's hands, quite literally, as he grabs hold of MARV'S attacking boots. As a roar of hate rumbles like a freight train through his throat, he upends MARV and Krista, causing them both to tumble backwards! Due to her gymnast worthy agility, Krista hasn't much difficulty in tightening her legs around the bottom rope and using them to pull herself back to the canvas. MARV, on the hand, isn't nearly as graceful as Krista, and instead has his night ended by an inelegant skid to the mats. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Christ Air Express LEFT: 8th LEFT IN RING: 4 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: The Heavenly Rockers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH That's it for the Skater Boooooyyyyysssss. You come all way back from another injury to get punked by the same people again?! Ya'll like a richman's Love Doctors. Ain't nothing to be proud of. Mama Nerdly done raised up some bitch made hos. ABDULLAH (dancing with Molly up and down ringside) Praise be! Praise be! To cultivate the land blessed by the touch of the prophets, has yielded the fruits of success! Praise be to Logan Mann! Praise be to Synth Esizer! Praise be to Holly-Wood! And praise be to Abdullah Abir Nerdly, speaker of the prophets, and leader of men! و كنت لا ترى اللغة الوطنية الخاصة بك هنا ، يمكنك ان تساعد على خلق بها تصبح متطوعه المترجم. تحقق من في لغتك برنامج ترجم MOLLY Once again, what he said! The fans are less then thrilled with the CAE's sudden elimination, and offer a buzzing chorus of jeers and boos in response. MARV does little to quell the now angered audience, scrambling back to his feet, and demanding to be let back into the ring to get a piece of The Rockers. His attitude is only worsened, when he's forced to watch Synth and Logan offer him a condescending bid farewell. “ROCKERS SUCK! ROCKERS SUCK! ROCKERS SUCK!” Dismayed by the ending of their second match back in the OAOAST, the CAE and their superfly Christ outfits are shuffled to back by the gaggle of ringside officials. Though they're now far removed from the ring, they can't help but take their frustrations out on a couple of tombstones on the entrance ramp. COLE And we've been brought down to our final four, The Beverly Hills Blonds, The Heavenly Rockers, Team Heyross, and Krista Isadora Duncan all by herself. Coach, are you still sticking with Team Heyross? COACH Absolutely. The Beverly Hills Blonds, The Rockers, both excellent teams. But Team Heyross is due and Team Heyross is hungry for a tag title run! Get 'em boys! Quite obviously the wise choice of action for all parties would be to gang up on the undersized woman with nary an ally (or Ally) in sight. But this motley assortment of brutes will apparently never be confused as wise, as they completely ignore the partnerless tag team champion. This is just peachy for Krista, as it allows her time to adjust her makeup. Its not so peachy for Moss, who is struck down by roaring elbow from Blanchard. Watching his partner go down, immediately sets Benjamin on the warpath, and he lands a pleathora of knife edge chops into Ned's chest. As Ned's body is protected by a giant penis costume, the attacks do piddling damage to him, and he's able to casually whip his rival away. As Benjamin makes the return trip, Blanchard lowers his head (more puns!), attempting to impale QB with his oversized member. But the athletic superstar leap frogs over the attack, thinking he can bounce off the opposite ropes to mount some offense of his own. But this is far from the case, as his leap lands him right into the unwelcome clutches of Synth Esizer! After taking a moment to steady Benjamin in his grip, Esizer utterly destroys that grip, dipping backwards and letting his rival fly towards the ring ropes. Now minus a muscle bound amateur wrestler, Esizer quickly hops back to his feet, expecting to find QB gasping for air on the ring ropes. So, imagine his surprise when he sees the solid gold figure of QB descending on him with a spring board lariat! However great his surprise was, it doesn't stop him from ducking under Benjamin's arm, avoiding the lethal strike. But Synth's evasion of QB's attack casts itself as the end of his luck, as he's dropped by a spear from a charging Simon Singleton. Then Simon grabs onto Benjamin's arm and roughly contorts the limb with a powerful single arm DDT! COACH That ain't fair, BOSS. You gotta give a man some warning before you go kicking him in the face, and ripping out his arm. Common courtesy, duke. The sudden jolt seems to shake Benjamin from his stupor, and place him into a status of blood-red rage. Acting on this sizable anger, he bats Simon to the ground with trio of overhand rights! Synth Esizer isn't spared from QB's wrath, either, and is knocked backwards by a forearm shiver! But, Benjamin's parade of offensive is rained on by a downpour of punches from The Handsome Hustler. Soon the two warriors have locked themselves into all out slug fest, wildly tussling against the cables as they each look to knock the other into next week! “HEYROSS SUCKS! GET RID OF NED! HEYROSS SUCKS! GET RID OF NED!” COLE I think the fans may be hoping this leads to a double elimination. Logan attempts to use this little brawl to his advantage and enlists the help of Synth in order to lift the pair up and over the ring cables! But the two men succeeded in snagging hold of the ropes, shocking the fans who thought their time in this contest was at an end. Benjamin and Blanchard drag themselves back onto the apron. However, they completely shun the duo that just tried to eliminate them and instead return to the task of hammering each other with lunatic haymakers. Not exactly certain that Ned can withstand a fist fight with the ultra deadly Benjamin, Singleton darts to his position to lend his assistance. But whatever method of help he had concocted will forever remain an unsolved mystery, as Krista emerges onto the scene to facecrusher him away from the proceedings! “YEAAAA!” Dismissing the battered body of Singleton just as quickly as she destroyed it, Miss California throws herself into the war between Benjamin and Blanchard. Unfortunately her eagerness to head into the battle, costs her dearly. She falls victim to Logan and Synth's trap, and is promptly dumped over the ropes to the apron. While Benjamin and Mann continue an endless battle mere inches away, The Rockers take it upon themselves to bring about Krista's elimination, terrorizing her with a constant stream of stomps. COLE Krista has no partner to come to her rescue! She's held up fine so far, but that was when she could hide in the background and let's the others be preoccupied with one another. Now, she's in a pretty bad position. COACH Actually, I think its a pretty unique position. Its probably been over a decade since she's been hammered by a guy, muchless two. Brings back memories of those carefree days of middle school. Krista cries out in pain, her teary blue eyes seeming to almost look out towards the entry ramp for Alix's late arrival. But Alix never arrives, and all that comes is the ceaseless stomping of The Rockers' boots, attacks that scuff and scrape her flimsy leather costume and leave her soaking in a pool of anguish. She claws at the edge of the ring with her hand, but the apron fabric is much to weak for her grip, and with each passing second the fan favorite is pushed closer and closer to elimination. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! the audience bellows in unison. Suddenly Krista is blessed with a knight in shinning armor. Charlie Moss takes both Rockers off their feet a double side Russian leg sweep! Though he only struck down The Rockers due to them being in the way of offering assistance to his partner, Krista is able to reap the benefits of his action and take a much needed breather. COACH Charlie? Wh...why..why? You accidentally went Captain-save-a-ho on a vegetarian, and a homosexual. I know you didn't know the vegetarian part, but let's get some better looking out next time! Realizing that he's now faced with nearly insurmountable odds against the best athletes in the OAOAST, Blanchard begins simply lobbing Hail Mary punches every which way, praying he'll be bestowed the gift of a double knockout. But he's no match for the precise striking technique of Moss, and with one simple uppercut, the former Minnesota Gopher blasts the detested heel off the apron! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Beverly Hills Blonds LEFT: 9th LEFT IN RING :3 ELIMINATED: Rescue 911 ELIMINATED BY: Team Heyross ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “YEAAAAAAAA!” screams the audience, delighted with The Beverly Hills Blond's expulsion from the contest. COLE Woah what a punch, Charlie Moss beating that dick! And Simon, Ned, and Molly are down and out in Beverly Hills, failing in their quest to be come four time tag team champions. COACH My prediction is only two eliminations from being right on! Or maybe one and a half, 'cause Krista ain't got no bitch! Shoulda been a hetero. A man wouldn't have you out here all by yaself. But, we hope Alix is okay blahblahblahblah. Ain't got no sympathy for no dykes! Clutching his bruised jaw, Ned has to be restrained by the officials, and Singleton from returning towards the ring to wage an all out assault on the bothersome Team Heyross. While TH are dismissive of Ned's rage, The Floridans seem to feed off it and expand the intensity behind their applause and cheers for the Blonds' elimination. This does sit particularly well with Ned, who loses what's left of his mind in an ill advised attempt to incite a fight with a group of annoying front row hecklers. Thankfully for the OAOAST's legal bills, he's kept at bay by Molly and Simon. COLE Did Molly have to leave her sheep out here? Jesus Christ it smells like your underwear, Coach! Now noticing that she's the lone person in the line of sight of two very violent, very murderous, meatheads, Krista is forced to craft another scheme to save herself from a prolonged beating. “Hey-ya, Charlie.” Her Southern California accent rings out. “Yeah, dude, come here I wanna talk to you. Come on aboard the SS Krista, a chill boat wherein no ill will is espoused!” Appearing to be the smarter one of the duo, Benjamin warns of the Krista Isadora Duncan trickery that has befallen countless other dupes and marks. For the moment it looks as if Moss will heed his partner's advice, which forces Krista to step up her smooth talk. “From a purely platonic, nonheterosexual standpoint, you are for real, my favorite wrestling bro. Why? Because you remind me of my two favorite people....” & Convinced by her charm, and her impressive use of Google image search, Moss joins the uncharacteristicsly bubbly blond on aboard the SS Krista. But as expected, there's no thrilling conversation forthcoming only the steady whistle of the superkick the trickster aims towards Moss' face. Thanks to his supernatural reflexes, Moss is able to dip bellow her over priced pump. But, Benjamin's luck is far worse, and his face is shredded by her fatal strike. As the fans explode with a song of cheers, the Washington native crumples onto the apron, face slack, eyes vacant, all but removed from this contest. COACH There's still Charlie! There's still Charlie! Come on, Charlie, go and get it Charlie! Moss offers nothing but a quick glance to his fallen partner, before investing all his focus and rage towards the woman that left him beaten. He lunges at her with a lariat, but she evades the strike, and his arm and body shoot harmlessly by. The aftermath of his missed move isn't quite harmless, however, as Krista grabs onto his head and smashes his face through the ring apron! Jolts of pain now ripping through his head, Moss staggers from side to side, eventually walking himself into Krissy's deadly inverted lung blower! Moss pops off her body, flying from the apron, shrieking in chilling pain, as his body plummets to the outside mats. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Team Heyross LEFT: 10th LEFT IN RING: 2 ELIMINATED: The Beverly Hills Blonds, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew ELIMINATED BY: Krista Isadora Duncan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The screams of glee from the audience is completely deafening, as they now see that Krista is but an elimination away from retaining the tag titles all by her lonesome. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” the fans bleat, pumping their fist to give Krista the extra bit of encouragement she needs to achieve the impossible. COACH My pick! My pick! Why did you have do this to me, lord! I just want to live! COLE Um, yes. Definitely a tough end to swallow for Team Heyross, making it all the way to the final four, just to see their chances of being OAOAST tag champs slip away. Well, Krista, by herself, has gotten to the end of the match, and has had to pretty much outthink, outwit, and generally be one step ahead of everyone around her to survive. And while doing all this she has eliminated a whopping five teams. But The Rockers have accounted for three eliminations thus far. Who's going to win out? And will Alix finally make an appearance? We haven't heard anything from the back, except that she hasn't called, and isn't answering her cellphone or home phone. She's a bit flaky but she usually likes to get to the arena early to count the sprinkles on the donuts. On the outside Abdulah Abir Nerdly pays no mind to the gargantuan outpouring of cheers and support offered towards Krista, and instead lights the cigars to celebrate the what in his warped mind is the impending arrival The Rockers' second tag title reign. ABDULLAh فعلنا ذلك! ث الكراسي الهزازه اكملوا مهمتهم وجعلت! Still reeling from the awful after effects of Moss' double side Russian leg sweep, the remaining tag team slowly pulls their dizzied body upright. Their frayed health and weary mental state is given sharp jolt by the noticeable absence of both The Beverly Hills Blonds, and Team Heyross. The startling fact that this match has now been turned into a two on one handicap contest against a far smaller opponent, decorates The Rockers' face with smiles that stretch all the way back to Nevada. But, Krista nearly knocks Logan all the way back to Nevada with a spinning wheel kick! The terrificly painful attack steamrolls the Rockers' frontman and brings forth a monstrous ovation from the audience. However, it also brings forth a monstrous shout of anger from Esizer, who charges the one woman demolition derby with a shoulderblock. But the SoCal hottie rips him off his feet with a crowd popping leg lariat! The beach bunny doesn't bother to celebrate her minor victory, instead deriving her pleasure from blasting Synth with a dropkick. But just as soon as he goes down, does Logan come back up, ready to eliminate her en route to a second tag title reign. But Krista has other ideas in mind, namely whipping him into the ropes. She lowers her head as Mann returns from the cables, but the Wildchild leapfrogs the champ and lands behind her. He twirls around to blast her with forearm smash, but Krissy counters the strike by stunning him with an inverted atomic drop! He clutches his ham n'eggers, and screams in white hot pain, as the crowd hoots and hollers over his misery. Their soon given even more to cheer about as Krista winds up and annihilates his once handsome face with a superkick! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA” COLE Krista's Great California Adventure! Now, Krista can celebrate, and she delights in fluffing her golden locks, “Et ma coiffure est toujours aussi parfaite!” she shouts in a comical French accent. With his charges bedraggled by the surprising power of the fitness queen, Abdullah is required to try his luck against Krissy, to afford Synth and Logan a moment to rest. He leaps onto the ring apron, instantly earning Krista's attention with insulting proclamations from his shrill voice. Wanting nothing more then to rip out his “nails on a chalkboard” voice box, two quick strides of her long legs bring her to his location. But, there's no moment for her to attack, as he snags hold of her flowing hair, and drives her downwards into the top rope! The fans fear this may be a prelude to an elimination of their beloved heroine. But their worries prove unfounded, as Krista shrugs aside the cheap shot to rearrange Abby's face with a SLAP! Abdullah drops away from the apron, in a hollering, vertical pillar of pain, crashing on the mats in front of a roundly unsympathetic audience. “BURN IN HELL ABDULLAH! BURN IN HELL ABDULLAH! BURN IN ABDULLAH!” they yell, which may make someone feel sorry for Abdullah were he not such a disagreeable prick. KRISTA COACH Holly, you stay back! No telling what she'll do! COLE Holly's a good looking woman, I think we know exactly what Krista will do. Reverting her focus back to the more troublesome members of the Rocker crew, Krista smashes her elbow into Synth's gullet. He stumbles backwards, now more concerned with simply breathing then winning. This leaves him prey to any manner of viscous assaults, and the foxy mama capitalizes on this fact, by leaping into is back, and putting her knees to her chest to pulverize him with a lung blower! As the fans cheer her showing, Synth spews out shouts of misery. Hearing his bandmate's cries of distress, Logan rises to his feet and crazily directs a “superman” punch towards Miss California's lovely face. What the move packs in rage, it lacks in technique, form and most importantly speed, and Krista is easily able to duck bellow it and glide herself behind Mann. The momentum of his miss clumsily carries him forward, but he's held into place by Krista's hands being wrapped around his bloodied face. His entire body is violently dragged downward by the force of Krista's ode to Redd Fox the "Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!” (Reverse X-Factor). The fans squawk with excitement, bursting with another roaring round of “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” chants. COLE Partner or no, Krista is rocking out on the Rockers! Though he'd much prefer to remain as inconspicuous as possible until the victory celebration, Abdullah has no choice but to return to the apron to run distraction for his team. Once again, he's disposed of as quickly as he arrived, brought down to the crowd's delight by a scissors kick. But, this time, his interference pays dividends for someone besides KID, as Synth is able to surprise her with a toss over the ropes. Everyone in The Rocker camp is ready to break out the champagne for what they expect is an elementary victory. Obviously they don't know Krista. The crowd does, however, and pops mightily as she skins the cat back into the ring with undemanding ease. Incredibly frustrated by his teams' inability to eliminate a thirty five year old single mother, Synth tries to channel his anger into pummeling Krista. This succeeds for about three seconds before Krista starts slicing up his legs with well timed kicks. Incapable of bracing himself for her parade of strikes, Synth tries to create some distance by thrusting her into the cables. She's bounced back into his waiting boot, doubling her over, and giving him time for a highly sought after breather. But, Holly churlishly demands that he stay on the aggressive, and what Holly wants, Holly gets. His arms coil around her neck, and he falls backwards hitting her with the Percussion DDT! SYNTH “SYNTH HAS AIDS! SYNTH HAS AIDS! SYNTH HAS AIDS!” ABDULLAH Destiny, Synth Esizer! Destiny is upon you! Seize its hand and know an infinite bounty of spiritual and physical wealth! COACH There it is! Percussion DDT, just like that, baby. Now you just gotta get her up and over the ropes! Its easy! Easy if you're sitting on leather sofa behind an announce table. Slightly more difficult if you're the guy with a forearm lodged directly into his balls, as Synth so happens to be! While the fans cheer for Synth's anguish, Krista hops upright, trying to get a read on Logan. But, the only read given to her is when she notices a sharp tug on her tight leather outfitt. Granted no opportunity to battle back against her aggressor, she's once again heaved over the cables. But, she simply skins the cat as if it were as routine and mundane as brushing her teeth in morning. The audience doesn't treat it with the casual disregard Krista shows it, and presents her with a raucous cheer for her continued survival. Logan, doesn't exactly share the fans pleasured sentiments, and angrily dives upon Krista with front facelock, foreshadowing another Percussion. But, alas, Logan in all his haste and ire forget to subdue the fiery babe with a kick to the gut, and as such she powers her way out of the hold with punches to his midsection. COLE Pretty amazing performance by Krista! The problem for The Rockers is that they come at her one at a time. That's nothing to her, that's what she deals with all the time. Its the two on one advantage they haven't been able to use, because when one is up, the other is already knocked down. Seeing her chances of being married to an OAOAST champion (lofty goals!) fade before her very eyes, Holly shrieks screams at Logan to stage a counterattack. But her demands fall on deaf ears, as Logan is at the cruel mercy of Krista's whims. And those whims drive her to perform a back flip onto her stomach, forcing a limp Logan to go airborne with her. Mann is deposited into a forward roll, brutally landing on his back at the hands of Everybody hates Kris (back flip rock bottom). The ring ripples beneath the monumental impact of Krista and her mangled adversary, and the fans clap excitedly for Krista's moment of victory. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Synth ambushes the recipient of the crowd cheers and preps her for a basic body slam. But the elementary hold turns into a complex mess for the Sin City dweller when Krista's leather bound body slips out of his clutches and lands behind him. Before Synth is even made aware of the fact that she's no longer within his grasp, her heels are dropkicking him towards the ropes. Never the most graceful OAOAST superstar, Esizer manages to trip over his own two feet, and deposit his chunky frame onto the second rope. His klutzy loss is actually Krista gain, because she believes that he's in the perfect position to be eradicated by a high risk attack. The sultry sex kitten charges towards her vulnerable foe and leaps through the second rope, while latching onto the third and second cable to maintain her precious balance. She uses her generated momentum to swing back towards Synth, seeking to strike him with the 619,(or 310 if you will)! Her strike lands with pinpoint accuracy, and Synth is thrust back towards the center of the ring, knocked utterly loopy by her powerful kick. Not entirely sure of where he is or what he's doing, he staggers to his feet. His vision swims to the point where Krista's sling shotting body appears as nothing but a yellow and black blur. Despite his hindered sight, he knows something is wrong with the fact that it feels like a noose is being tightened around his neck, and moves quickly to correct it. He rushes towards the ropes, with the idea of powerbombing the vixen to the hell bellow. But he unfortunately plays right into Krista's trap and she bends backwards to hurricanrana him towards a crushing tag title defeat! “YEAA...” the fans prepare themselves to explode with glee, but are stopped short when they notice Logan latching onto Synth's leg, preventing him from being vanquished by Krista's hurricanrana. COLE Oh no. COACH And this is where, Krista should be asking herself where is my girlfriend. Because now she is screwed. Drapped over the ropes, with only the support of the crowd to call on for assistance, it certainly looks as though Krista is screwed. But the blond bombshell is as resilient as she is moody, and flat out refuses to capitulate to the trap The Rockers have backed her into. Her body thrashes and writhes like a fish out of water, trying to gather the forward momentum needed to bring herself back into an upright position. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the audience tries to rally her. But a new difficulty presents itself, that of Abdullah Abir and Holly attaching themselves like leeches to her hands. Together they expend huge amounts of energy to try and worm her loose of Synth and bring her down to their world. To a world where The Rockers are tag team champions. COLE No! This isn't right! Someone stop this! The referees warn against it, but no threats of a disqualification are made, and as the boos begin growing so to do does the power of Abdullah and Holly's hold. Krista tries her hardest to fight against the terrible position she's been placed in, looking towards the entrance ramp, praying, wishing, hoping that Alix is soon to arrive. But there's no Alix, and there's also no hope for victory. Abdullah and Holly win out, finally pulling her depressingly limp body off of Synth. She slips to the floor, tumbling onto her knees, where her hair forms a sun stroked cloak in front of her dejected face. COACH Its over! They did it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Krista Isadora Duncan LEFT: 11th LEFT IN RING: 1 ELIMINATED: The Love Doctors, James Blond and Faqu, Los Diablos, The South Central Militia, Team Heyross ELIMINATED BY: The Heavenly Rockers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER The winners and brand new One and Only World Tag Team Champions...THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! Needless to say, the official announcement does not sit well with the spectators, and their boos are fierce and plentiful, raining down from every inch of medium sized arena. But not even all the hatered in the known universe could wipe the smile away from The Rockers' faces. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the WINNNAZ The Heavenly Rockers ELIMINATED: Los Conquistadors, Los Diablos, The Christ Air Express, Krista Isadora Duncan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Past the enraged jeers of a debris hurling audience, Abdullah and Holly enter the ring to congratulate the victors on their glorious accomplishments. Matching each other's prideful grin, Synth and Abdullah exchange high fives, and tight, tearful victory hugs. Logan and Holly's celebration of his mammoth accomplishment is even more intimate; they share a salaciously juicy kiss, as his face shines with the brightness of a supernova. Referee Billy Silverman enters the ring to pass the titles to Synth, only to have them gruffly snatched away by Abdullah, who places them at the feet of the newly crowned champions. Synth's hands shoot to his side, and his head cocks upwards towards the heavens, an arrogant salute to the ultimate triumph he's achieved tonight. COLE Cheap shot tactics, and a numbers advantage have allowed The Rockers to take a disgusting victory in this battle royal. What a shame, and what a great disservice to Krista and the other teams in this match. COACH Cheap shot tactics, and a numbers advantage have allowed The Rockers to take a disgusting victory in this battle royal? Naw, you got it wrong son. You explain to me what cheapshots were given in the Los Conquistadors, Los Diablos, and Christ Air Express, eliminations. All three were clean, and all three are part of the reason the rock n'wrestling era begins anew! Mad props to The Rockers! Krista seems to have quickly resigned herself towards a life without tag team gold, and now focuses her energy on uncovering Alix's whereabouts. Suspicion and worry leak into her mind, gathering themselves into a cloud so thick, that her voice cracks into softened tones as she implores the referees to tell if they've heard anything about Alix. Their negative answers do nothing to alleviate her doubt, and a cold fear begins frosting over her body. COLE The match is over and still no sight of Alix, who is almost always without fail at Krista's side. Its just so odd not seeing her out here. Yes, she's ditzy but when it comes to Krista, she's always realizable. I'm afraid something terrible may have happened to her. Do you think The Rockers had anything to do with Alix's disappearance? COACH Don't go around making those accusations! Why would they just hit one tag team? Why not hit a couple, and make things easier? Let these men enjoy their moment in the spotlight, their much deserved moment in the spotlight, without accusations of kidnapping or assault. I'm sure Alix just saw a Hello Kitty costumed she really liked, and decided to go trick or treating instead. Sure she'll get fined, but she's rich, she can afford it. COLE Well, regardless, tonight belongs to The Rockers, because like it or not, and I know many of us do not, the fourth title reign of Chicks Over Dicks has ended, and the second reign of The Rockers has begun. HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR OAOAST title on the line. MADDIX DEFENDS AGAINST POPICK! Edited November 1, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 SCHIAVONE Surprise, everyone! Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura here with you on this very special evening, the first ever Halloween Spectacular. It is main-event time and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title will be on the line imminently. Landon Maddix taking on Stephen Joseph Popick here tonight, with the prospect of three challengers still awaiting him at November Reign... and, let's not forget, his SWF currently running it's first show under his Commissionership. So, perhaps not the best time to be in a World Title defence. VENTURA Not a bit. As far as his list of priorities go, I think Popick's somewhere down the list when he needs to be right at the top tonight. SCHIAVONE Speaking of priorities, what of Stephen Joseph Popick's priorities. VENTURA Well it's real simple. You've got to concentrate on the immediate and that's what I believe Popick will do tonight. All this talk of this match being some sort of prelude to PRL's run for the title at November Reign might not be as accurate as you think. If Landon's banking on that, it might prove costly. SCHIAVONE Jesse, real quick, a prediction? VENTURA Maddix's head isn't in the right place, Popick is going to be a unknown quantity to him. Schiavone, I am going out on a limb on this one, I can feel it in my blood, something's gonna go down here tonight. I'm predicting it, we are gonna have a new World Heavyweight Champion right here in Florida! SCHIAVONE Stranger things have happened in the OAOAST, that much is true. With that in mind, let's go to the ring for our main-event. The OAOAST Title on the line... *DINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, he is the challenger. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia... he weighs two hundred, twenty five pounds... himself a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, he is SSSTTEEEEPPHHHEEEEENN... JJJOOOOOOOSSSSEEEEEEEPPHHHHHHH... PPOOOOOOOOPPIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "It Ain't Over For Me" by Terrence Howard immediately begins to play as Buffer's intro fades away. Stephen Joseph Popick walks through his shower of pyrotechnics and hits a crucifix pose, jeered from every corner of the arena as he turns around to face them. SCHIAVONE Popick has been in this position before, he is a former World Champion. And he has faced Landon Maddix before just a few weeks ago, where it seemed like he may even have had the Champion's number. But on that night, it proved to be just a set-up for The Lightning Crew to try and attack Landon, he had no intention of trying to get a victory. What will Stephen Joseph Popick's agenda be tonight? VENTURA Let's not forget Schiavone, last week, Popick beat Zack Malibu, one of the number one contenders. He proved that he's more than still got. If he wants to be the World Champion, he's got every chance, I truly believe that. SCHIAVONE And the keyword there is 'if'. Popick enters the ring and goes through some last minute instructions from referee Mike Chioda, not to mention a thorough check for weapons. "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits and the entrance doors part. Not as usual by the fair hands of Megan Skye, but simply Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. And Landon alone, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion thrusting his arms out to the side before pointing out his shiny belt in the absence of anyone to do it for him tonight. BUFFER And, introducing the opponent! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... he weighs in at two hundred and eight and one quarter pounds. The reigning and defending OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WWWWWOOOOOORRRRRRRLLLLD... LLLAAAAAANNDDOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Landon leaps to the apron, looking out at the crowd and grinning a very confident grin. The World Champion then spins himself right into centre stage where he's most comfortable, all but ignoring Popick as he unstraps and raises his title belt. SCHIAVONE Landon looking pretty confident, despite the long list of challengers lining up to get at him. Popick tonight, PRL, Zack and Cortez at November Reign. VENTURA You can't accuse him of not being a fightning champion, that's for sure. *DINGDINGDING!* SCHIAVONE And here we go, the past and the present of the OAOAST come together here. VENTURA And listen to these people Schiavone. They can't even get into a position where they can't make their minds up, they just flat out hate both of these men! I love it! With the crowd generally getting on the cases of both champion and challenger, the match is underway. Popick and Landon circle towards each other for a second... before Popick pulls one out of the box of tricks, suddenly backing away and ducking through the ropes for a 'timeout'. Landon just smirks a little at that tactic and tells Popick to go ahead and take all the time he wants while he reclines in the corner. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Popick managed to rile up Zack Malibu last Thursday but not Landon Maddix. I don't think it's through a better tempremant, I just think Landon isn't as into this match as Zack was last Thursday's. Looking a little annoyed Popick is suddenly ready to go now his stalling tactics are useless. Maddix just shrugs and gives him the tie-up he's asking for. Side headlock by Popick, quickly shot off into the ropes by the World Champion who sets... and gets knocked off his feet with a shoulder block! VENTURA That might just wake the Champ up. Rolling to his knees, a hard-done by look adorns the face of the World Champion. After all, 'managers' shouldn't be able to execute shoulder blocks like that. Maddix dusts himself off and looks a little more serious now as he and Popick circle again, before coming in for another lock-up. This time it's Landon who gets the headlock though and the confidence flows right back into him in a milisecond. Popick brings the Champion into the ropes and sends him for the ride, Maddix coming off the ropes with that confident look still on his face as he executes his own shoulder block... ...and gets bounced down to the mat! SCHIAVONE Nothing doing there either. Landon might want to think about trying Plan B because so far, A hasn't been up to much. Landon again looks surprisingly like he wasn't expecting that, backed in a corner and glaring at Popick who just smirks. Landon takes offence to that as well as the shoulder blocks and charges at Popick, who takes a quick step forward and barrels down the World Champion with another shoulder tackle! And another! And a third, sending the frustrated La Cucaracha heading for higher ground as he rolls to the outside. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" VENTURA The Champ's gotta regroup and he's gotta do it quickly. One of the big dis-advantages we haven't really talked about yet though, usually he'd have Megan Skye at ringside for him. Not tonight though. Wandering around ringside, Maddix uses up most of the referee's 10 count while trying to clear his head (much to the disdain of the ticket-paying Daytona Beach public) before finally re-entering the ring. A quick glance over his shoulder down the aisleway later and it seems like Landon is finally ready to go. Raising a hand in the air, Landon offers up a test of strength. Of course, the wily veteran challenger has seen this all before but he decides to humour Landon a little. The two tentatively reach up towards each other, until the fingers touch... and both men suddenly try the cheapshot... which BOTH men block, catching each other's legs! Champion and challenger hop around for a second before simultaneously throwing each other's legs away, Landon quickest from there as he hits a forearm. But Popick fires right back with a right hand. Landon hits a second forearm. And Popick comes back with a second right hand. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Landon! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And again! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Make it three, Landon forcing SJP up against the ropes. As he follows in though, Maddix suddenly gets switched so he's stuck against the ring ropes, penned in as Popick drives the knee into the gut a couple of times. Popick then slams his elbow into Landon's skull. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "POP - ICK SUCKS MORE!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "POP - ICK SUCKS MORE!" Popick pulls the arms off the ropes and wrings out the right arm, setting up an irish whip which sends Maddix hurtling across the ring. Before he hits the opposite ropes though Maddix tucks and rolls, coming up short of the ropes which brings a big smile to his face. As Popick follows in after him Landon then makes a quick sidestep, using SJP's momentum to execute an O'Connor roll off the ropes... 1... 2... Kickout by Popick, sending Landon lurching forwards into the ropes. He manages to adjust himself just in time to stop his momentum... ...only to turn around into a Flapjack from Popick! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VENTURA There's the first big move of the match and it's still the challenger who's looking like he's in charge. Maddix crawls to the corner looking for a reprieve, but is followed in by Popick. Pulling Maddix to his feet, SJP rams him face-first into the top turnbuckle. With another irish whip Popick then looks to send Maddix into the opposite corner, this time finding no counter from the Champion and charging in after him. However, Maddix is able to plant his hands on the top rope and floats up and over the on-rushing Stephen Joseph, landing stylishly on his feet and instantly turning to run off the ropes. Popick manages to avoid colliding sternum first with the turnbuckles and turns around, just in time to see Maddix soaring towards him with a flying forearm and in time to duck underneath, causing Maddix to crash and burn! VENTURA There's the veteran experience from the former World Champion. SCHIAVONE And apparantly Popick has done more scouting on Landon than he evidently has on him. VENTURA No doubt about it. Let's face it, Popick's probably spent the past few months analysing the Champ with Tha Puerto Rican while he's been trying to wrestle that World Title over to the Lightning Crew. Pulling himself back up, Maddix stumbles into a boot to the gut from Popick, who quickly wrenches the neck up over his shoulder and drives La Cucaracha down with a Neckbreaker! Maddix goes limp right after the impact, prompting Popick to make a quick cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Popick slowly drags Landon to his feet, connecting with a jab on the way up. Spinning the World Champion around, Popick then sets up for a back suplex, getting Maddix up but losing control in mid-air, as he flips over and lands safely on his feet behind him. Grabbing the shoulder, Landon then spins Popick around and jars him with a quick Jawbreaker. VENTURA Maddix starting to use his speed a little more now. Momentum from the move sends Popick stumbling all the way back into the corner behind him. And Maddix is quickly in after him, connecting on a forearm. Maddix quickly jogs away after hitting the first forearm and now comes charging from the far corner of the ring, getting a full run-up on a second, this time leaping forearm smash in the corne... ...NO! Popick throws a boot up and literally knocks Maddix out of mid-air! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" Crashing into the canvas, Landon limps back to his feet and soon regrets it as SJP drives him right back down with an STO from a standing position. Leg hooked... 1... 2... No! Bringing Landon back up in a front facelock, the veteran challenger gives the crowd something to boo about, besides his very existance, stalling for a couple of seconds on a vertical suplex. He then floats over... 1... 2... No! SCHIAVONE Popick, not shy about going for covers here... VENTURA And why does that surprise you? SCHIAVONE Well, it's just, the situation with Popick and with PRL, Tha Puerto Rican's due for his shot at November Reign, I just... VENTURA Popick's a former World Champion. And once you've had the top prize, nothing in this sport is as important. Absolutely nothing. I don't care what agreements Popick and PRL mighta had in the back earlier tonight, on the car-ride in together, at the restaurant before the show. The moment Popick stepped through those entrance doors, all bets were officially off. After pinning Landon back down, SJP comes off the ropes and arrows down his forearm across the top of La Cucaracha's forehead. SCHIAVONE I dunno Jess, I still think there's more to all this than meets the eye. Another cover by Popick... 1... 2... No! Rolling over, Popick now stalks around Maddix, waiting for him to recover. SCHIAVONE What is this now? Popick creeps up behind Maddix and applies a Sleeper as he gets back to his feet! VENTURA Ah, the sleeper hold! The perfect move for Popick to be slapping on at this point in the match. As soon as he feels the move sunk in though, Landon rushes for the corner and drops to his knees, the momentum sending a helpless Popick lurching forward and face-first into the middle turnbuckle! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA Great leverage move from La Cucaracha though! As Popick lies slumped face-down on the middle buckle, up clambers Maddix, putting the boots to the back of Stephen Joseph before smushing his face into the buckle with a knee! Another knee! And a third, this time pinning down on the back of the head and attempting to smother Popick! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU - " Landon breaks on four, not saving him from a warning from the referee. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Irritating the crowd even more, Maddix climbs to the middle turnbuckle over Popick and throws his arms to the side. He then jumps up, coming down with his knee to the spine of SJP, who wisely rolls out of the ring moments later. Landon decides not to follow the challenger though, instead baiting the Florida fans some more as he drops to a knee and shows off his finely tuned washboard abdomen. VENTURA Now's not the time to be hot-dogging it to these people. SCHIAVONE An ironic quote from the mouth of the always under-stated Jesse "The Body" Ventura. VENTURA Hey, I always posed when I had my opponents down on the mat where I could see them, not recovering out on the floor! Let's get it straight! With the jeers at a fever pitch now, the World Champion strolls over to where he had left Stephen Joseph Popick moments earlier. As he reaches through the ropes to retrieve his challenger though, a sudden uppercut catches him unawares! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VENTURA And that's why right there. Maddix reels away as Popick quickly rolls back into the ring, barging him in the back and then catching him off the ropes with the always popular SPINBUSTAAAAAH~! The OAOAST's patented death move, at least until everyone and their Nerdly sister manager started using the superkick anyway, gets the same reaction everything else these two have done so far- nothing but boos. Popick could care less though, nodding his head confidently as he walks around the ring. "POP - ICK SUCKS!" "POP - ICK SUCKS!" "POP - ICK SUCKS!" "POP - ICK SUCKS!" Once Landon has made it to his feet, Popick makes a break forward. He swings his arm out for a lariat... but misses! Landon ducks the line and sets himself, catching SJP as he turns around with a sudden Dropsault! SCHIAVONE That's how quickly Maddix can turn a match right there. That Dropsault, always so sudden! Cover by Landon... 1... 2... Kickout. Off the ropes comes Maddix, running right into the path of a recovering Popick. The challenger throws another clothesline but again Landon is ready for it, using the outstretched arm to climb up SJP's back for a crucifix, only to adjust halfway and pull his opponent down with a sunset flip... 1... 2... NO! Both men come back up, this time Landon swinging and missing. Popick brings him up for an Atomic Drop, only for Maddix to go safely up and over again, weaving out in front and hooking Popick by the head. Maddix then makes a break for the nearest corner, scaling the ropes for the Sitout Shiran... ...SHIRA-NO! SJP sends Maddix up and over again, this time forcibly, Landon just about managing to land on his feet before a back elbow cracks him in the jaw anyway! VENTURA Hard shot with the point of the elbow, that could break an eye-socket real easy. With Landon dazed, Popick quickly turns his back to the corner and comes out with a head of steam. Perhaps too much so though as Landon suddenly springs up and unable to stop, SJP runs right into him. Hooking the head, Maddix takes Popick over and spikes him on his head with the Hurri-Lanrana, Landon rolling into the pin complete with Scotty Steiner fistpump~! 1... 2... NO, kickout! Dismayed, Maddix turns to referee Mike Chioda and questions the count. SCHIAVONE Wow, I thought that was all there for a second. A lightning quick move from La Cucaracha, almost got him the victory. VENTURA Again, it's the speed and quickness advantage. Maddix might wanna think about using that now instead of getting in the face of the referee. Realising he's fighting a losing battle arguing with the Chioda, Landon pulls himself up and finds himself facing the turnbuckle. A lightbulb flashes on in his head and he quickly climbs up to the middle rope, giving the signal for the Crash Landon! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Popick begins to pick himself up, looking a little dis-orientated. Which is perfect for Landon who waits for Popick to figure out where he is, catching the challenger as he turns around with a foot to the chest and grabbing him. Maddix then springs off the middle rope... and soon realises something is gravely wrong in mid-air. With no control over where he's going, Landon gets thrown off by Popick, sent crashing solo to the canvas!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA Bad ride with an even worse landing! Latching onto the arms, Popick applies a full nelson and the crowd boo. Not just because they've decided to boo absolutely everything that happens to either man but because this is the beginning of the set-up for Finality! Popick hangs onto the full nelson and tries to get up onto the middle rope. But Maddix has enough in him to push backwards, crushing Popick in the corner. And again. A third time... and a fourth, taking that many to finally break the full nelson. With SJP still behind him in the corner Landon connects back with a left elbow, then a right elbow, before spinning around and hitting a straight kick to the chest of Popick! The challenger then staggers out of the corner, where Maddix is waiting, leaping up for the CUCARACHA CUTTE... ...NO, Popick shoves Maddix off... ...AND RIGHT INTO A COLLISION OF HEADS WITH REFEREE MIKE CHIODA!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Oh no! Down goes the referee! As the (always) fragile referee hits the deck, Landon stumbles around and gets caught with the SYNCHRONICITY BOMB by Popick!! Popick has Landon pinned and it could, perhaps should be over. But of course, with no referee to count the fall, it really doesn't matter. VENTURA What terrible luck for Popick! SCHIAVONE Unless of course he meant to knock out the referee Jesse. VENTURA Now why the hell would he want to do that!? He can't win the World Title without a referee to count the pinfall! SCHIAVONE EXACTLY! Right on cue, the boos in the arena somehow intensify, just as THA PUERTO RICAN starts to come jogging to the ring in his street clothes! And let's just say Popick doesn't exactly look too surprised to see him. VENTURA Haha! I don't like being proved wrong often but this is one exception. PRL slows down as he approaches the ring, realising the referee is down and that he's got no need to sneak around. Suddenly though, the boos begin to turn into cheers around him. PR doesn't take much notice of them. Which proves to be a mistake, as he doesn't realise until it's too late that ZACK MALIBU is running up behind him!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" For the first time in the match the crowd have something to cheer about, as PRL gets pulled off of the apron before he has chance to enter the ring and finds himself under a barrage of right hands from The Franchise of the OAOAST! PRL tries to fight back but it's Zack getting the better of the fisticuffs, the fight moving away from the ring and back down the aisle. SCHIAVONE My word, Zack Malibu is taking it to Tha Puerto Rican!! He knew just like we did, he knew that PRL would be on his way out sooner or later! VENTURA So he comes out and SAVES Landon Maddix!? SCHIAVONE He's not saving him at all Jesse, he's just trying to keep things one on one here! Popick watches on helplessly from the ring as Zack and PRL continue to duke it out, The Corporate Champion sent face-first into the barricade in the aisleway. This all provides the distraction for Landon though, as the World Champion creeps up behind Popick... ...AND BOOTS HIM BELOW THE BELT!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Over doubles Popick, spun around into a DDT from La Cucaracha! Maddix jumps right back to his feet and spreads his arms in glee, grinning from ear to ear... ...for a second, before suddenly he starts to sense something. Sense... a presence. And it's not just parannoia over Halloween. It's a legitimate worry. Because, instead of boos for his actions, there are cheers for TODD CORTEZ, having come through the crowd now standing directly behind the World Champion! VENTURA Where the hell did Cortez come from!? Getting that sinking feeling in his stomach, Landon is already begging off before he's even turned around. Sure enough, when Cortez does appear in front of him Landon almost jumps out of his skin, before trying the begging for real. But Cortez drills him with a kick and quickly reels him in, Daytona Beach coming off it's collective seats as Cortez tumbles forward... *WHAM!!!* SCHIAVONE RIOT ACT PLUS~!!! VENTURA My God, he spiked him right on his head!! The fans are going nuts as Cortez rolls out of the ring, trying to disappear into the background a little as he stands by the barricade. The mood suddenly starts to change though, the moment Stephen Joseph Popick starts to crawl towards Landon. VENTURA He's not moving Tony! Maddix isn't moving! Chioda is starting to come to his senses now and all of a sudden, the fans are anything but behind Cortez, those closest to him begging him to jump back in. Cortez just ignores them though, watching on stoicly. SCHIAVONE No... this can't be... Still nursing the effects of the lowblow, Popick makes one last concerted effort as he drops across Landon. A sense of dread fills the arena as Chioda then gets his wits about him... 1... In the aisle, PRL nails Zack with a knee to fend him off... 2... ...and turns to the ring... 3!!!!!!!!! PRL ZACK EVERYBODY ON EARTH~ :o ..... VENTURA WE'VE GOT A NEW WORLD CHAMPION!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... and, FOR THE SECOND TIME, THE NEW OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... SSSTTTEEEPPHHHEEEENN... JJJOOOOOSSSSSEEEEEEEPPHHHH... PPOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A slightly muted reaction goes up across the stunned crowd as Popick rolls off of Landon and punches a fist in the air. The camera zooms over the top of him though to the entrance way, where Zack Malibu and PRL stand. The two rivals who'd been beating the hell out of each other not 3 seconds ago now stand no more than 5 feet away from each other, both with the same look of absolute shock on their faces. SCHIAVONE Jesse... Jesse, we have witnessed perhaps the biggest upset... the biggest shock in OAOAST history! Stephen Joseph Popick is... is the World Champion again! VENTURA Unbelievable scenes here at the Halloween Spectacular! Just unbelievable! PRL and Zack continue to stare, mouthes agape, as the groggy Chioda takes the OAOAST World Championship belt and gives it to Stephen Joseph Popick. "The Most Hated Man in the OAOAST"™ holds the belt to his face, looking as if even he can't believe it, boos raining down on him as well as some scattered pieces of trash from the crowd. In the aisle, Todd Cortez marches right between Zack and PRL, heading off to the back. SCHIAVONE Fans, you'll have to forgive us for being at a loss for words here. This is a major surprise, a major shocked. Landon Maddix has been beaten for the OAOAST World Title, thanks to Todd Cortez. I guess you could call it payback, after Landon cost him the International World Title a couple of weeks ago. And, unbelievably, Stephen Joseph Popick who we all assumed was just a stepping stone for Landon Maddix... who we all believed was out here tonight with the main goal of softening Landon up to help Tha Puerto Rican become Champion... Popick has won the Title for a second time, here tonight! VENTURA I tell ya what, this is a Halloween nightmare for Maddix. Hell, it's a nightmare for a lot of people... look at PRL! Look at Zack! SCHIAVONE What the hell does this mean for November Reign!? AngleSault must be stunned too! Despite the odd atmosphere surrounding him, nothing will take away the taste of victory for Popick as he climbs the turnbuckles and raises HIS OAOAST World Championship over his head. Zack sees this and has officially seen enough, turning away in disgust and marching off to the back. Which leaves PRL. Spotting his closest friend, the man he had been managing for so long, standing in the aisle, Popick's eyes light up as he tells PRL "I DID IT, I DID IT PR!" But PRL doesn't respond, looking on as his Career Consultant holds the title he's never been able to quite grasp in his hands... and walking away! VENTURA Oh man... I tell ya, there are going to be MAJOR repurcussions from this one! The OAOAST may never be the same after what we've just seen! Popick looks a little surprised that his buddy isn't sticking around to celebrate with him. But, with the euphoria of his title victory, he doesn't think overly much of it and goes back to celebrating his victory alone. The Daytona Beach fans continue to jeer Popick as he again raises the title for them all to see, Landon looking on despairingly as he's carried away by a pair of referees clutching his neck. SCHIAVONE The OAOAST world has been stunned! Stephen Joseph Popick is the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! And we start a whole new era, next Thursday night... Stephen Joseph Popick's first HeldDOWN~! as two-time World Champion... from, of all places, Puerto Rico! Don't you dare miss it! From Jesse Ventura, this has been Tony Schiavone saying goodnight from Daytona Beach! Popick raises the title belt one last time as the credits roll and we... FADE OUT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2007 DIRECTED BY Tony149 WRITTEN BY Alfdogg King Cucaracha Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield Patty O'Green GRAPHICS Patty O'Green OAOAST CREATED BY Tony149 CWM Anglesault © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
