Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2008 (edited) * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV-MA L, V, and the dude posting the show is on hella cocaine right now PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! An epic, triumphant song welcomes us to a grainy black and white montage of royal/lethal rumble events long past. Between these flashbacks, are black and white interviews of superstars sitting against a black backdrop explaining the importance of winning the Lethal Rumble. We end with a final comment wishing the superstars good luck from Anglesault before we see this image: The first shot of live action is a bar inside the Phillips Arena loaded to capacity with OAOAST faithful. As the camera pans around them they go wild with excitement and joy, screaming their lungs out to be heard on live television. Sitting at the bar and beneath a sign that says ActionZone are... Maggie Nerdly! And... Josh Matthews! MAGGIE What's really good ya'll? Maggie Nerdly, Josh Matthews chilling on the scene here at the Mobile Action Zone! And I gotta say, Josh, ATL is the spot! JOSH Yes, it definitely is. A fine spot for women, wine, and adventure, all to be consumed quite liberally by a suave debonair gentlemen like myself. Tell me, common bar wench, what is on tap for tonight? MAGGIE What's on tap is a bad beat, if you ever call me common bar wench again. But, for those of you without vocabs trapped in the eighteenth century, this is show is just as hot as promised. We got the in ring return of The Lunar Phoenix James Cone... JOSH Let's not forget the debut of Jester. MAGGIE Yeah, man, I was getting to that. Getting. To. That. But now that you just went and laid it out, what about this Jester guy, huh? Pure, absolute freak. Real creepy guy, and no one I've done any talking to seems to know much about him. And if I'm gonna be honest with peeps, no one really wants to know much about him. He's the freakiest guy we've had around here in a while, and that's sayin a whole lot! What a weirdo. JOSH He seems to know a lot about Cone that much is certain, and he's made the former tag team champion's return to the OAOAST a very unpleasant one. MAGGIE You wanna talk about unpleasant, try sitting next to Faqu at a talent meeting after they serve chilli concarne at the buffet table. JOSH Your sister's Lone Star Gunslingers have a lot more to worry about then bad gas when they face Faqu and James Blonde for the One and Only World Tag Titles tonight. Although, Blonde and Faqu were eliminated early in the Anderson Cup, their strength and experience makes them a dangerous team for the young guns from Texas. MAGGIE Melody ain't sweatin it, but maybe she should. Faqu and Blonde are going to have Megan Skye in their corner, and she's done something Melody hasn't. Brush her teeth before she goes to bed, and manage a world champion. JOSH Pretty harsh. MAGGIE What's harsh about that? Just being objective. JOSH Another match pits three time 2007 Angle Award winner Theodore Moneymaker against six time 2007 Angle Award winner, Krista Isadora Duncan. But despite their gold mine of trophies, these two top superstars aren't fighting over gold, but something much more personal. This past week on HeldDOWN, Moneymaker revealed to the world that Krista had an illegitimate child who happens to be on this OAOAST roster. That's a first for professional wrestling! Trust me, I wouldn't lie! Moneymaker gained this knowledge from Mackenzie by way of Alix, who was bought off with the promise that Moneymaker would help finance her new CD. Since then the entire locker room has been wondering who the child is, with several people bothering Moneymaker to find out if its them. Actually, a lot more then several, its just about anyone under the age of thirty. MAGGIE They need to cut that crap out, 'cause I'm the child. Margret Nerdly-Duncan. Anyone with a brain can check that out. That explains why I always feel some kind of strong tug on the deepest parts of me whenever I'm near Krista. JOSH I as well feel a strong tug when I'm near Krista. MAGGIE I'm not talking about your sicko pocket pool, you tool, I'm talking about my mother! But, whatever, we're also going to see a major title unification match tonight between Stephen Joseph, Colombian Heat, and Felix Sturtter. Big time title match, maybe the biggest we've had in a long while! You gotta be mad excited about it. Personally, I think this match could go either way, there's no real clear cut favorite in this one. JOSH Numbers, Maggie, numbers. SJ has a large stable of lackeys and cronies assisting him. And the minute he calls they'll be rushing down the ramp in full force to aid him if the need comes up. The huge size of the Corporation makes it so Joseph can hold onto the title for as long as he can work them to his advantage. MAGGIE And the winner of that big time bout is gonna meet the winner of the Lethal Rumble at Anglemania in Los Angeles! This year's Rumble is mad stacked! We got former world champs, 24/7 champs, tag team champs, HI-YAH champs! If you're coming out of this rumble with the win, you're coming out because you earned it. JOSH You've got that right. So who are you picking? MAGGIE Gotta be that boy Bohemoth. Size, strength, skill, he's got every thing you want in a wrestler except an even tan. A little darker on his upper back for some reason. Bo keeps his cool at all times, so he's not going to get flustered or nervous if he nears elimination like some of the other guys. Its a tough grouping, but I bet he's coming out on top! JOSH Bohmeoth? Did Leon Rodez change his name to Bohemoth when I wasn't looking? MAGGIE Just because we're hooking up and stuff doesn't mean I just automatically have to pick him to win! JOSH I guess not now that you've basically admitted you're sleeping with other men. MAGGIE Cram it with walnuts, ugly! Quote the Simpsons. So who are you picking, smart ass? JOSH Give me Landon Maddix any day of the week! Here's a guy without any size, without any high impact striking, and who still wins rumble after rumble. He could probably eliminate six guys with his eyes closed. His ability to pull in victory in these things is uncanny! He should teach classes! MAGGIE We ain't got no love for PRL? JOSH The worst draw in the world, a million dollar bounty on his head, and various Corporation members scattered across the entries? Nope, no love for PRL. That man is in bad shape! He should've kept quiet, let SJ assume total leadership of the Lightening Crew, and just been a good little foot soldier. There's value in taking orders from the better man! Better luck next year, Puerto Rican. MAGGIE I think he might debate ya on that but we're not gonna know until we see it in action! Let's get to Anglepalooza! We're brought into the live arena where fireworks explode in front of roaring fans, the vast majority of whom hold their carefully decorated signs into the air. Once the flashy pyro that typifes an OAOAST event settles we're able to see the entrance stage which is little more then a MAMMOTH wall of video screens, most of which display the portraits of the Lethal Rumble competitors, while the rest show off the matchups for tonight's proceedings. Residing at sofa central is our trusted announce team, Double C! COLE Maggie, Josh, thank you for that fantastic introduction. Michael Cole sitting alongside the Coach, ready to call another edition of Anglepalooza. And aside from Anglemania this has to be my favorite event of the year. Bar none. COACH No doubt! The implications from Anglepalooza are huge! Huge! And if someone can get eliminate PRL their bank account is going to be huge! Huge! COLE That's true and its not if Tha Puerto Rican has many or any allies in the Rumble. Tonight, with his poor entry number, he's the very definition of the underdog. But who is the odds on favorite? Bohemoth as Maggie suggested? Landon like Josh said? Zack? Reject? Maybe, Theodore Moneymaker or even Biff Atlas. COACH No. Never. COLE Probably right. But we're getting way ahead of ourselves. Folks, we're going to kick things off with the return of James Cone to OAOAST action, but first let's here from the man himself. He's standing by with Tony Schiavone. Tony? Tony Schiavone, Black Widow and Lunar Phoenix against the ANGLEPALOOZA interview backdrop. Phoenix is more or less ring ready for his match later on, but he's now wearing a black shirt with a phoenix design across a full moon on it. Beneath the picture is: "BRING THE FIGHT AND BURN BRIGHT" in bold Impact Font. SCHIAVONE I'm here with James Cone, the Lunar Phoenix. After the heinous intrusion by Jester and his assistant, Miss Jobbs last week, are you ready to face the Crazy Clown down? Phoenix scowls at Schiavone and takes the mic away from him. PHOENIX Don't give that bastard any catchy, easily marketable nicknames, Schiavone. He's not gonna be around long enough for the shirt, for the action figure, for any of that. Tonight I'm gonna force him out for good. SCHIAVONE You sound like you're all business tonight. PHOENIX This is my first match back, Tony. My great return to the OAOAST ring. I was hoping it would be against a nobler opponent, but this is how it is. I've tangled with this guy before - his game hasn't changed. He tried to ride my name, my success the last time. He's nothing in himself; he has to latch on to someone else. He's a leech, and tonight I'm gonna burn him off the ass of this great promotion for good - Bring the fight, Tony. And burn bright. Phoenix tosses the mic back to Schiavone and leaves with Widow offering a proud, playful shrug as she follows. SCHIAVONE Well there it is, folks. Tonight, Spider-Poet, James Cone, now back with us as the Lunar Phoenix, returns to OAOAST action. We go back to the arena where the crowd eagerly anticipates the first match of the night. Edited January 31, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2008 THE LIGHTS GO DARK~! The opening melody of THE PRETENDER by Foo Fighters rings out. Two white lights at the head of the ramp raise to half, aimed at the main entrance, where white smoke is billowing down, obscuring the back completely. GREEN LASERS create the same phoenix/moon design from the shirt Cone was wearing earlier against the wall of smoke. Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend Keep you in the dark And so it all began BOOOOOM~! FIRE EXPLODES all along the stage and in the entrance way, which Phoenix proudly marches through, miraculously unscathed. Still wearing the shirt with his ring gear, he pauses at the top of the ramp, surrounded by Booker-T-like plumes of pulsing fire. Widow is just behind and to the side, gesturing towards him like a car model showing off the best piece of machinery in the show. COLE And here it is, fans! The in-ring return of Spider-Poet, James Cone, the Lunar Phoenix is upon us! COACH And the debut of the Craziest Clown this century. The music is rolling now and Phoenix is in his element. He makes his way towards the ring, playing to the crowd, which is going fairly crazy. Both of them are too distracted to notice MISS JOBBS sneaking in around the edges of the stage. She's behind Widow, locking her arms around her waist before she can do anything about it. COLE What the hell? Wrong entrance, Jobbs! Jobbs hauls up and back, a clean and harsh GERMAN SUPLEX, slamming Widow into the ramp. Widow was unprepared and unprotected, leaving her stunned. Phoenix turns, quickly sorts out what happened and angrily rushes Jobbs, but she throws her hands up innocently. Phoenix pauses, unsure as to whether he should hit a woman. To further complicate it, Jobbs pulls a pair of glasses from her cleavage and puts them on. She shrugs - you wouldn't hit a girl with glasses, would you? JESTER flies out of the audience, throwing off a trench coat that was concealing a folded chair, and a hat. Phoenix senses him and turns, just in time to catch a CHAIR TO THE FACE, with no shielding. It knocks Phoenix back off his feet, and busts him open severely. The music has stopped and the crowd is frenzied. Widow is out of it as Jester and Jobbs lay into Phoenix, who is trying to stay on all fours as they kick him in the ribs and in the face. Jester brings the chair down full force across his back, putting him down. The Crazy Clown walks a few feet up the ramp and sets the chair down flat and folded. Jobbs straddles Widow and starts punching her mercilessly. After a moment, she grins, the glasses now lopsided, and pulls a set of brass knuckles out of her bosom - WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE! COACH Well that settles it. Those can't be real, Cole. COLE Damn. I'm out ten bucks! But Widow and Phoenix might be out a whole lot more. Somebody needs to break this up! Jester picks Phoenix up, or at least attempts to. The first clear look we get of Phoenix's face reveals a red mask of syrupy hardcoreness and a thoroughly dazed expression. The clown starts dragging Phoenix towards the chair. COLE Oh my goodness, nothing good is going to come of this. Instead of punching Widow with the barbed knucks, Jobbs instead starts GRINDING THEM INTO HER FOREHEAD. It seems to wake Widow up a little and she tries to struggle back, but Jobbs has the clear advantage right now. Jester gets Phoenix where he wants him and sets him up for what appears to be a Suplex. But when he hauls him up, he holds it, like a - COLE A JACKHAMMER?! Close. Jester brings it home, but it isn't a jackhammer. It's more like a strange Suplex/DDT, DRIVING PHOENIX'S HEAD RIGHT INTO THE CHAIR! Phoenix is OUT! Refs and security come rushing out to break it all up. As they jerk Jester away, he's grinning maniacally. He smears his fingers in Phoenix's blood just as he's hauled back and away, and he SMEARS IT along the corners of his mouth to create an even CREEPIER grin than he already had. He begins to laugh. He laughs hard and he laughs long, almost as if he's relieved. Jobbs, also being held away from Widow, who is writhing, holding her face, also begins cackling Security and the Refs haul them both away as medics try to assess Phoenix and Widow. COLE The return of James Cone to an OAOAST ring, what should've been a great moment for him and our fans, turned out to be memorable for all the wrong reasons, thanks to Jester and that Jobbs character. However, as luck would have it, Phoenix has a chance to turn it all around later on tonight in our thirty man Lethal Rumble! COACH Yeah but you never know where Jester lurks. Security better be on very high alert just in case. Otherwise we may have a thirty one man Lethal Rumble. COLE Sticking to the subject of the Lethal Rumble, our superstars have been drawing their order of entry all night long. As a matter of fact, its still on going. Let's take a look! Back in the Lethal Rumble drawing room, OAOAST President AngleSault is standing by, clipboard in hand with Maggie Nerdly at the tumbler. Maggie absent-mindedly juggles with a couple of the numbers to AS's bemusement. ANGLESAULT Alright, lets get this show on the road before we lose any number, shall we? Bring the first guys in, could you? Off screen, the lowly security guard at the door does just that. First at the door, apparantly, are THE ENTERPRISE! All five male members, plus Molly Nerdly unpaid intern, walk in with Theodore at the front of the cue laughing away and rubbing his hands in excitement. AS begrudgingly shakes the out-stretched hand on Moneymaker, while Ned limbers CPA up for the gruelling task of picking a number. MONEYMAKER HAHAHA! Alright boss, let's get down to business. How much for #30, huh? HAHAHAHA! ANGLESAULT We've already got a number thirty... MONEYMAKER I know, I know. That was a little rich man humour... probably why you didn't get it! HAHAHA! No, I don't need to throw down any of my vast fortune, because tonight I've got all the insurance I need, right here. Moneymaker pats CPA on the back and the rest of The Enterprise begin to laugh, before suddenly splitting down the middle. The reason for this is the entrance into the room of the three members of... well, now, Cucaracha Internacional, with Landon Maddix and Megan Skye trailing along behind. Cucaracha Internacional and The Enterprise assemble in their groups, Landon and the still amused Moneymaker at the front. Faqu stares down Ned and Simon, who shrink into the background a little. MADDIX Teddy. MONEYMAKER Landon. I see you brought some moral support along as well. Any of these guys in the Rumble with you? I'm sorry I don't recognise any of them, I don't tend to watch Syndicated all that often. A chuckle goes up from The Enterprise, even the Blonds, despite their two straight weeks of competition on said show. Landon has a wry smile too. MADDIX Ah, Teddy, Teddy. No, as a matter of fact, they're not. But that's okay, because it keeps things simple. Civility, you know? I mean, I wouldn't want any of these three guys to think they HAD to step aside and let their boss win, incase he decides not to loan back their testicles again in the future. (looks up at CPA) How's it goin', big fella? CPA makes a move towards Landon, but Moneymaker holds him back. MONEYMAKER Easy, easy. There'll be plenty of time for that. Ya see Landon, I admire the fact you're looking to create your own little 'dynasty' here in the OAOAST. But tonight we'll see how you fair against The Enterprise, after all it'll be every man for himself out there. Maybe we'll see you along the way. MADDIX If you make it past Krista. MONEYMAKER Ah, yes, Krista. Blonde. Petite. Smart mouth. Remind you of anyone, Landon? That shuts Landon up, Megan having to whisper to James Blonde that Moneymaker wasn't referring to her... or him. ANGLESAULT Guys, I hate to break this touching moment up, but if we could move it along? MONEYMAKER Fine. MADDIX Some people, huh? MONEYMAKER I know. First Landon dips into the tumbler, followed closely by Moneymaker and finally big CPA. As Landon struggles with the plastic ball, Moneymaker pops open his, taking a look at his number... and, possibly tellingly, he says no more. Snatching hold of CPA's hand, Moneymaker gets a glance at his number as well... and still says nothing to Landon, who gives a shrug as he shows his number around to his newfound associates. MADDIX Not bad. Not that it matters of course, I mean... MONEYMAKER Come on. MADDIX Teddy? MONEYMAKER Guys, come on! Let's go! MOVE IT! Teddy shooes his Enterprise towards the door, to smirks all around from Black, Blonde and Megan. MADDIX Should I take that as a sign not to ask how you did? *SLAM!* With The Enterprise hurriedly down, the muttering and footsteps from behind the door disappearing, Landon grins to himself. COLE That didn't look like good news for Theodore Moneymaker. That might be the last of his worries right now though Coach, he might not even make it to use his number if Krista has her way tonight! COACH Moneymaker, like Landon Maddix, always has a plan. Don't you worry about him. COLE Trust me I wasn't. OAOAST QuizDown is presented by OAOAST Lethal Intent now available for Nintendo DS Who won the first ever Anglepalooza Royal/Lethal Rumble: A.Sandman B.Anglesault C.Sole Survivor D.Zack Malibu The answer still to come! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 COLE One of our feature bouts this evening is for the One & Only World tag team championship as the Lone Star Gunslingers, despite being the champions, look to reclaim their titles after they were stolen by James Blonde and Faqu two weeks ago. * SWOOSH * HeldDOWN~! January 17, 2008 Landon Maddix slips BRASS KNUCKLES to James Blonde, which goes unnoticed to Jock Mulligan who's been playing to the crowd. Needless to say, when Jock goes to pick James up he's popped in the face! COLE Oh, no. No! What a travesty it would be should the Lone Star Gunslingers lose the gold like this. Maddix flees the scene of the crime along with Megan as the cover is made. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * :o BUFFER The winners of the match and NNNNNNNNNEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... No, wait! Referee Nick Patrick comes in and strips Blonde and Faqu of the titles, waving off the pin. COACH What's this? Patrick confers with the assigned official, apparently informing him of the brass knuckles used by James Blonde. Upon hearing the news Earl Hebner returns the belts to Jock and raises his hand! COACH No way! Earl lets Buffer in on his decision and the following announced is made: BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. I have just been informed by the referee that due to the use of an illegal foreign object he has reversed the original decision. Therefore, the winners of the match and STILL One & Only World tag team champions, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" FAQU The Samoan Wrecking Ball goes ballistic, knocking out one of the officials (who shall remain nameless as to not screw up with the rest of the matches on the show!) with a thrust kick. COLE That's UNCALLED for! Blonde tries for a second to calm Faqu down, before realising just what the heck he's doing. He does manage to direct him away from the referees though, as he and Faqu do a number on the Gunslingers while Melody can only watch on helplessly! A BIG splash flattens Jock... and on Blonde's say so, flattens Baron too as he tries to crawl over and cover-up his tag team partner! Both Gunslingers are left laying now, Faqu still storming around while Blonde wipes the hair from his face and spits to the ground. Stalking over the bodies of Jock and Baron, a glint suddenly catches Faqu's eye and he reaches down, picking up one of the Tag Team Title belts and placing it in his mouth. Blonde looks surprised for a second but, realising that Faqu isn't about to put the belt down, he figures 'when in Rome' and grabs the other belt for himself. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH This may be the greatest thing I've ever seen, Cole. COLE It's disgusting, that's what it is. OAOAST officials rush out to aid the beaten champions. All Melody can do is shake her head at the carnage left behind. We cut backstage to “Mean” Gene Okerlund with a couple of intense Gunslingers. Melody Nerdly’s there also, but only as window dressing as she remains in hot water after skipping a house show to attend a nearby Halo 3 LAN party. GENE Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels, after the footage we just saw you gotta be chomping at the bit to get your hands on James Blonde and Faqu. JOCK That’s putting it mildly, Gene. James Blonde and Faqu, you’ve disrespected us in a way no one has before. We’re not so much upset about you kicking our ass because that’s apart of the sport. It’s kill or be killed. We’re hot under the collar about the robbery you committed on the people. The stolen property you’re walking around with belongs to them, and we intend on getting it back! BARON The last time we spoke Jock and I talked about respect, and how much of it we had for James Blonde and Faqu. Well that’s all out the window now. Yeah, we respect your ability, but personally you ain’t nothing more than a bunch of lowlifes. Mess with us all you want, but when you start going after family, which Jock and I consider Melody and our fans, then hell’s to be paid, boys. That’s why our match tonight is dedicated to all the people who’ve supported through thick and thin, because the Lone Star Gunslingers won’t rest until justice is served! Jock “fires” into the camera as the Gunslingers and Melody ride off in the sunset. GENE There you have it from here. Back to you ringside at Sofa Central BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the One & Only World tag team championship! "Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship plays in the background as the match graphic pops up on-screen. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers, representing Cucaracha Internacional. At a total combined weight of 590 pounds, "THE MOVER FROM VANCOUVER" JJAAAAAAAMMEEEEEESSSS BLONDE and "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" LANDON MADDIX and MEGAN SKYE come along for the ride as well, leading Blonde and Faqu -- who still possess the tag titles after stealing them from their rightful owners -- to the ring. COLE Hold on a minute. After what happened last time Landon Maddix and Megan Skye have no business ringside! COACH They’re apart of the team now, Cole. Who are you to say they can’t show their support? COLE You mean aiding and abetting? Because they sure as hell won’t stick to just cheering in the corner. Apparently OAOAST officials agree, as the challengers find themselves surrounded by referees/agents and one of the famed Wise Men in the OAOAST, “Cowboy” Bill Watts, who informs Maddix and Skye they’re “OUTTA HERE!” “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” LANDON MEGAN BLONDE FAQU Maddix refuses to oblige, that is until Watts threatens to award the match to the Lone Star Gunslingers via forfeit. COACH He can’t do that! COLE Of course he can. The Cowboy wields a lot of power as a senior executive. COACH He puts the senior in senior executive. Landon agrees to leave but not without giving Watts a piece of his mind first. BUFFER And their opponents! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Accompanied by MELODY NERDLY, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, the ONE & ONLY World tag team champions… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! The Gunslingers burst out of the curtain with a ton of energy, firing up the crowd as Melody fires her imaginary pistols in the direction of Landon and Megan off to the side. Down the aisle they go slapping hands and waving like good baby faces. COLE Here they come, arguably the greatest tag team in OAOAST history, the Lone Star Gunslingers with Melody Nerdly! COACH Spare me the hyperbole. They’re good, but they’re not great. Let alone the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time. If the Gunslingers find a way to get by James Blonde and Faqu, which I don’t think they will, then waiting in the wings are the former champions, the Heavenly Rockers. COLE They’d first have to win the 2008 Anderson Cup. And with the level of talent involved that’s no guarantee. Blonde and Faqu draw a line in the sand, draping the tag titles across the center of the ring. Never ones to back down from a fight the Gunslingers allow their competitiveness to get in the way and walk into the line of fire! * DINGDINGDING * Faqu catches Baron sliding in under the bottom rope with a well placed foot to the back of the neck, while Blonde clubs Jock over the back with the tag belt. They continue to dominate the champions, beating them into the ground just as they did two weeks ago. Face-first into opposite turnbuckles go the Gunslingers. Dazed and confused, the champs somehow manage to reverse a pair of Irish whips, causing Blonde and Faqu to crash into one another mid-ring! COACH That can’t feel good. Needless to say, James Blonde gets the worse of it. The impact from running into Faqu knocking him out to the floor, a spot his partner joins him at following a double clothesline! “YEAH!” COLE The champs walking tall in the early going. COACH It was like a mini-Lethal Rumble in there, Cole. Had it been Faqu would be eliminated. The action resumes inside with Jock Mulligan and James Blonde, who challenges the Texas Twister to a test of strength, only to SLAP the taste out of his mouth! JOCK Blonde retreats to his corner and tags Faqu. “BOO!” COLE Mr. Tough Guy this James Blonde is, huh? The guy picks a fight and then hides behind Faqu. COACH Blonde starts fires, Faqu puts them out. Both men lockup, and Jock grabs a side headlock, but Faqu lifts him up and tosses the 6’6” Gunslinger halfway across the squared circle with ease! Like any good cowboy Jock dusts himself off and gets right back on the saddle, hooking ‘em back up with the Samoan Wrecking Ball…only to be slammed. COACH Everybody knows Texans are stubborn, but Jock Mulligan is reinforcing that notion. Just because you’re big and tall doesn’t mean you can match power, idiot. Jock lures Faqu into a false sense of security and stomps his bare foot, ramming him into the buckle afterwards, failing to remember Samoans have thick skulls! Faqu no sells the blow and answers with a head BUTT. A tag is made and the challengers backdrop Mulligan on the rebound, followed by a DOUBLE STOMP from James Blonde! ONE… KICKOUT! Scoop and a slam, and Blonde heads up to the middle rope, but Jock gets the BOOT UP and the Mover from Vancouver wanders around in a daze. The Gunslingers tag and Baron Windels knocks Blonde off his feet with a flying lariat! ONE… KICKOUT! Blonde’s whipped into the ropes and flipped overhead. He pops to his feet and goes right back down courtesy of a standing dropkick. Baron looks to end the match early with his patent superplex, but James RAKES THE EYES and shoves Windels to the mat. He repositions himself on the middle rope and scores with a MARTY JANETTY FIST DROP! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Blonde stays on the attack, placing Windels in a reverse chinlock. *clap*clap*clap*clap* Melody rallies the crowd in support of Baron, and it works. Baron land a series of elbows and fires James off into the ropes, smacking him in the face with a BIG BOOT! COLE James Blonde may be walking around town with a few less teeth after this one. Baron succumbs to the DEVIL’S ADDICTION, slamming James over his head and tags Jock. Together they send Blonde in for the ride and chop him down with the ARKANSAS TOOTHPICK! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Jock smashes Blonde into the buckle and mounts the middle rope, driving his fist into the face. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! The Texas Twister drapes Blonde over his right shoulder and rumbles forward, planting him in the middle of the ring with the TEXAS PRAYER BOOK RUNNING POWERSLAM!! ONE… TWO… NO! Save by Faqu. COACH Poor James Blonde. He’s been singled out by the Lone Star Gunslingers and keeps on ticking despite taking a licking. COLE Blonde displaying a tremendous amount of toughness here tonight. There’s no denying that. Irish whip, but it’s reversed and Jock takes a cheap shot from Faqu. He retaliates in kind and gets blindsided with a dropkick, sending him tumbling over the top to the floor! COLE That’s not a good place to be with the Samoan Wrecking Ball out there with you. Referee Charles Robinson needs to keep a close eye on him. James Blonde makes sure that doesn’t happen, suckering Baron inside to divert the referee’s attention while Faqu whips Jock into the guardrail and splashes him against the steel! “OH!” Jock crumbles to the ground in a world of hurt. Melody rushes over his to aid but is quickly order back to the Gunslingers corner by Charles Robinson. Faqu places Jock on the apron and Blonde suplexes him back in, then makes the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Faqu sticks his head through the middle rope and Blonde rams Jock into it! COACH That’s using your head. COLE And there’s the tag. Faqu the legal man. Whipped into the ropes Jock ducks a clothesline and nails the Faqu with a BANDIT KICK! Amazingly, the Samoan Wrecking Ball stays on his feet. He shakes off the cobwebs and tells Jock to bring it. And he does. Again and again, but Faqu still won’t go down. A MISSLE DROPKICK only staggers the big man. So the Texas Twister picks up steam and unloads with a DISCUS PUNCH that has no effect! COLE This man is awesome. I can’t believe he’s still standing. Faqu stuns Jock with a palm strike and fires him off, but Jock comes back with a CRUCIFIX. Or so he tries as he struggles to bring the Samoan Wrecking Ball down. Baron helps out with that, dropkicking Faqu, as the late Gorilla Monsoon would say, right in the kisser! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Both men return to their feet around the same time, but it’s Faqu who’s able to make the first move, nailing Jock with a THRUST KICK. He slams Jock in the center of the ring and goes up top, ROARING at the top of his lungs as he crashes down onto the Texas Twister with a BIG SPLASH!! MELODY ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Baron makes the save. “YEAH!” MELODY Faqu dumps Jock outside so that James Blonde can do a number on him as he gets into it with Baron. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE This is ridiculous. Isn’t anybody watching on a monitor backstage?! COACH Let the wrestlers police themselves, Cole. Anytime one of your favorites is on the receiving end of a BUTT-kicking you cry foul. Be a man. RANDY SAVAGE OOOOOOH YEEEEAAH! Face-first… NO! Jock blocks it and introduces Blonde to the STEEL STEPS instead! “YEAH!” Confronted near the apron by Faqu, Jock thrusts his shoulder between the ropes and slingshots in for a sunset flip…but Faqu sits down on him! Reaching back, Faqu hooks the leg. COLE That…that may have taken everything out of him. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” FAQU Tag made, and James Blonde shoves Jock in the corner, punishing him with knees to the midsection and hard right hands. He whips him across and follows in with a CLOTHESLINE, then spikes him with a RUNNING BULLDOG! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! SAVE BY BARON! An illegal switch is made as Charles Robinson admonishes Baron for his actions, causing Melody to throw her arms up in the air, frustrated that went unseen. Robinson notices Blonde has turned into an angry Samoan and questions both men, who of course deny any shenanigans. COLE Like they’d tell you, ref. Yeah, we did it. So? What are you going to do about it? Faqu stuns Jock with a series of head butts, and then floors him with a thrust punch to the throat. Jock eats a foot to the face before he’s whipped in for a spine crunching SAMOAN DROP! ONE… TWO… Kickout. And just barely. After a legal tag, the Mover from Vancouver swings over the top and off the middle rope… COACH Lionsault. You can stick a folk in Jock, he’s done. …BUT JOCK GETS THE KNEES UP! “YEAH!” Blonde smartly tags out. Faqu sets Jock for a high angle back suplex, but the Texas Twister floats over and rolls him up in a SCHOOL BOY! The fans jump out of their seats. Her fingers crossed, Melody hopes this is it. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! “OH!” COLE A half-a-count away from one of the most miraculous victories in any sport. COACH Where does he get it from, Cole? A normal man would’ve been finished long ago. The Gunslingers are really showing me something tonight. COLE The same can be said for James Blonde and Faqu, who’ve put up a helluva fight thus far. No matter the outcome, they’ve solidify themselves as a top contender in my eyes. Faqu catches Jock with another thrust kick. Rather than go for the cover he whips him to the corner -- and with such force Jock drops to the seat of his pants! Like a bull seeing red, Faqu’s eyes widen. Hopping from side to side, the Samoan Wrecking Ball charges forward while releasing a blood curling scream and RAMS HIS ASS UPSIDE JOCK’S HEAD! SAMOA! Melody can’t bear to watch, turning away as Faqu signals the end. Then it hits her. She hands Baron a STEEL CHAIR and hops on the apron to distract the referee. As Faqu lifts Jock for his double underhook piledriver, Baron enters the ring and… * BOOM * …wallops the Samoan Wrecking Ball across the back! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Faqu slowly turns around and gets popped in the head as well! The Samoan Wrecking Ball teeters before going down. COACH Defend your boy now, Cole. That was uncalled for. Fueled by the crowd’s support Jock musters every bit of strength left in his body to make the tag, but James Blonde and Faqu are the first to do so. Jock spots it out of the corner of his eye and dives towards his corner for the HOT TAG~! “YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Baron comes in firing rights and Cowboy Bebop elbows, then whips Blonde across and decks him with a flying lariat. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Windels sends Blonde into the buckle and hammers away from the middle rope as the crowd counts each blow. Baron feels Faqu sneaking up on him and wipes him out with a diving back elbow! Now it’s his turn to get some of what James Blonde was having -- a nice big helping of Baron Windels’ fist. Baron pummels the Samoan Wrecking Ball until he’s clubbed from behind by Blonde, who digs into his tights and pulls out BRASS KNUCKLES as the ref checks on the fallen Gunslinger. COLE Not again! Faqu holds Jock up, but he ducks and Blonde winds up knocking out his own partner with the knucks! “YEAH!” BLONDE Baron spins Blonde and serves him a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL (LEAPING) DDT! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Baron’s not through yet. COACH What’s the meaning of this? If you’re going to pin the guy, pin him. Don’t be looking to add insult to injury. COLE (scoffs) Look who’s talking. Jock returns to the picture, bear hugging Blonde as Baron shoots off the ropes with a FLYING LARIAT! COLE Lone Star Lasso! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the match and STILL your One & Only World tag team champions, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody jumps the Gunslingers inside, embracing the sweaty men in short shorts with the excitement of a young girl attending a Hannah Montana concert as Charles Robinson hands the tag titles back to them. COLE Congratulations to the Lone Star Gunslingers for regaining and successfully defending their championship and to the team of James Blonde and Faqu for a valiant effort. But they learned cheaters never win. COACH Then why are the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl? COLE The game hasn’t been played yet! COACH Yep, answers my question. Wishing thinking on your part. COLE Well, folks, our next major event will be next month in Saint Louis, Missouri, and it is the Leap Year Spectacular. I believe that is where the finals of two thousand eight Anderson Cup will be taking place, so make sure you're tuned to TSM that night. A MARVelous Experience Once Every Four Years February 28th 2008 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 We're now transported back to the drawing room, where Maggie and AngleSault are chatting away having watched that last footage on a monitor. The chat is interrupted however by the World Six Man Tag Team Champions, LOVE GENERATION, heading on into the room. Maggie obviously perks up at the sight of her boyfriend, Leon giving her a wink as he shakes AS's hand. LEON Nice tumble girl. Any more where she came from? ANGLESAULT Well now that you mention it... LEON Betcha can't name them all! Here's a tip, they usually start with an 'M'. Leon pats his D*LUX team-mates on the back. LEON Okay guys, now I know we're 6-Man Tag Team Champions together... for what that's worth... but tonight it's all on the line. Any one of us three could win the Lethal Rumble and go on to AngleMania. And by any one of us, I mean me. I think what I'm trying to say here is, all for one and one for all! SHAYNE Haha! Like the Three Musketeers! LEON Yes... thank you... that might not have been clear had you not clarified that. Jade and Maggie finish gossiping away in the background, as a sighing Leon taps the tumbler. Maggie quickly gets it spinning, Leon whispering under his breath to Jade "where did you find these idiots again" while Tyler and Shayne look on excitedly. With another tap Leon gets the tumbler stopped, picking his number and stepping aside. MAGGIE Hey, Jade, are you going to grab Shayne and Tyler's balls for them? That joke gets an audible groan from Leon, to his girlfriend's disappointment. Tyler and Shayne are infact left to grab their own balls (ANOTHER HILARIOUS PUN!) and as everyone gets a look at their numbers, it's mixed feelings for all. Before they can discuss who got what though, more bodies pile in, as Melody Nerdly leads in her World Tag Team Champion Gunslingers as the sole Christ Air Express rep in the Rumble, MARV. ANGLESAULT Ah, gentlemen, come on in. Melody, good to see you. MELODY What, I'm Madison, idiot! Nah, just playin'. Gets them everytime. So, yayz or nayz? The large group of extended friends and family that are Leon, D*LUX, Melody, Maggie, LSGS, CAE (1 of them!) and Jade get lost in one big discussion, leaving poor AngleSault looking on oblivious to what anyone's saying. Amongst all this MARV manages to pluck out his number, before Jock and Baron do the same. MELODY Hey guys, before you open them up, do you want me to squeeze your balls for good luck? Much to Maggie annoyance, Leon cracks up on hearing that joke. Jade gives her a consoling shrug as everyone passes their number on to AS just to make it official, Melody looking pretty pleased at the draw her guys got. (Patty sez if you listen closely u can hear MEL crying in the corner!) THIS WEEK ON HELDDOWN~! The Conference Semi Finals begin... Los Infernales Conference: The Christ Air Express vs. Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference: Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright vs. D*LUX LIVE FROM CLEVELAND, OHIO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) BUFFER The following contest is no a disqualification match scheduled for one fall with a sixty minute time limit, I like them black girls I like them white girls I like them asian girls I like them mixed raced girls I like them spanish girls I like them italian girls I like the french girls And I like Scandanavian girls A Huge/ginormous/large/massive/oversized pop consorts right along with Calvin Harris' bopping tune. But the expensive/extravagant/lavish entrance filled with a bevy of expert dancers is noticeably missing, as are the rows of photographers and fashion journalist who normally landscape Krista's showy entrance. Instead there's nothing but the stoney, anger burned face of Krista Isadora Duncan, glaring into the camera. She's attired herself in skintight pink hot pants that mold to her firm BUTT, and a matching pink low cut tube top that prominently displays her hugely rounded breasts. COLE What type of Krista are we getting tonight? No pageantry, no expressiveness, and no fun from the woman who put entertainment into sports entertainment. How must it feel to have your deepest, darkest, secret, suddenly brought to the light? Horrible, I bet. Absolutely horrible. COACH Let's talk about Mister Moneymaker now. He shouldn't be a part of this match. He has a lethal rumble to think about. Krista, turned down her chance to be in the Lethal Rumble. That's right, turned it down. They were going to give her a spot and she said “Eh, I don't feel like it”. An opportunity to be world champ in her hometown, and she said no. You see, Mister Moneymaker is a real wrestler, like a Christian Wright, or a Reject. Krista is an entertainer. Having this match is like having Vijay Singh play nine holes with Kate Hudson. It makes no sense! BUFFER Introducing first from the city of angels, the home of Anglemania Seven, Los Angeles, California, she is the founder and CEO of the Fit with KID fitness empire, a New York Times best selling author, one half of two thousand seven tag team of the year, one half the two thousand seven Angle Award winner for best title reign, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, four time one and only world tag team champion, Esquire magazine's sexiest woman in the world, Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan! Krista slides into the ring with a staunch seriousness never before seen from her. She won't even over her adoring fans so much as a small smile as she stretches her limbs on the ropes. COLE When Krista's serious about the OAOAST, you know some ill-na-na shit be about to get popalatin', biggie smalls. COACH Never talk like that again. Moving on, we have to do our job as journalists and uncover the identity of the child. Could it be Landon like Moneymaker insinuated? I don't know about the whole calling another man petite thing, but I'ma let that slide. Maybe its Christian. They're both smart, and they're both kind of snobbish. As The Girls comes to a close, the world famous guitar opening of Money Talks brings an entire audience to depths of an insane hatred. Boos, jeers, vulgarities, and even trash pollute the arena air. Just another warm welcome for Theodore Moneymaker. YEOW! The entrance doors pull apart, and three green spotlights escort The Enterprise CEO onto the stage. Tugging on the lapels of a white smoking jacket that surrounds a body attired in green trunks, the billion dollar heir laughs heartily at the anger and rage he's brought upon himself. At his side, boasting a contemptuous smile of pure arrogance is Mackenzie DeCenzo, now clearly back in the tycoon's favor. Miss DeCenzo looks as if she's dressed for a night at the Oscars and not a night in front of drunken rednecks, svelte figured crammed into a sparkling silver beaded evening gown with a v-neck plunging deep into her cleavage. "Tailored suits, show of your cars Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, up for a price Where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night" BUFFER And the opponent, being accompanied by Mackenzie DeCenzo, from Vero Beach, Florida, he is the CEO of The Enterprise , the Billion Dollar Heir, and one half of the first ever One and Only World Tag Team champions......MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER! The boos are plentiful for the widely despised heel, and they certainly gain a reaction from him in the form of chastising glares. Mackenzie manages to keep her cool, however, her arm nestled between his, her over confident smirk never bothering to once leave her face. COLE And what type of man is this? Because he's upset with his own group's failings, he has to forever alter the course of Krista and one OAOAST superstar's life by revealing that formerly well kept secret. Well, Krista's life currently lies in shambles, and the locker room is full of gold digging wannabe children trying to hitch a ride on Krista's money wagon. COACH Instead of getting at Moneymaker how about getting at the bad mother? Get at the woman who drops a baby and high tails it out of town. Get at that. That's the problem. “MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” The southern flavored harassment does not sit well with Mister Moneymaker, and for every insult flung at him, he unloads a good three right back. On and on, they go, an arena of thousands and man worth billions, engaged in a verbal dogfight. Just as soon as Moneymaker's intensity is revving to full fire, he feels the clamp of soft hands across his bumpy skin. But the punches he suffers through is anything but soft, as Krista Isadora Duncan besieges him with right hands! “YEAAAA!” In the background the bell rings, but its hardly heard over the roar of the Phillips Arena who look on in delight while their heroine pummels the villain. Despite out weighing Krista by well over a hundred pounds, Moneymaker's girth is no match for her lunatic rage, and he's brought down to his knees by her downpour of strikes. Snarling with the ferocity of a starving tiger, Krista tangles her fingers through Moneymaker's dirty blond hair and leads him to his feet. She ignores his constant and pathetic pleas for mercy, and fires his head into the barricade. The force Moneymaker was launched with pushes the barricade back several inches, and topples the billion dollar heir to the cold steel of the ramp. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Vision muddied by sweat and painful disorientation, Moneymaker can see nothing more but the vague shapes of the fans clapping in the distance, and Krista's perfectly toned legs circling him with predatory malice. At the passionate urging of Mackenzie, and the rudely stated order of KID, the groggy grappler begins stepping to his feet. He's quickly captured by the buxom babe, who's hands dig themselves into his money green tights, and who's icy blue eyes stare down the barricade she's intending on throwing him into. But, the tyrant screeches her plans to a sudden halt by rifling his elbow into her exposed midsection. Being a fitness queen Krista has stronger abs then most, but they don't prevent her from being doubled over in agony. Without taking a moment to catch his depleted breath, Moneymaker screams out in terrible anger as he bashes Krista over the back with clubbing forearms. His thickly muscled arms drive her down to the mat, where they continue to rip through her exposed flesh as if they were miniature asteroid collisions. COACH I know how to figure out who Krista's kid is. Its easy. Find out all the people in the OAOAST she's never made fun of and one of them has to be her offspring. COLE That leaves Denzel Spencer, and she thinks he's Tracy Chapman. That's why she always nags him to do Fast Car at her parents' anniversary. Moneymaker brings Krista off the canvas, using a modified front facelock to make certain she's unable to escape. He quickly frees her from the simple submission hold, but does so only to launch a throat thrust at the blond bombshell. The breath and energy piratically skewered out of her, Krista goes teetering towards the ring. Her hands tighten around the black ring apron, and her face sags downward with sudden exhaustion. The Enterprise CEO is relentless in his smashmouth assault, and offers her nary a second to regain her energy. By the seat of her bootylicious shorts he spins her away from the ring apron, and horsewhips his beefy forearm across her face! Instantly Krista falls to the mat, emitting pained cries that bring worried gasps from numerous audience members. “FUCK YOU, MONEYMAKER! FUCK YOU, MONEYMAKER! FUCK YOU, MONEYMAKER!” COLE Theodore Moneymaker just driving that arm into Krista's gorgeous face! COACH Gorgeous? Yes, yes, the kid would have to be good looking so that rules you out! COLE I should've been ruled out when you remembered I'm three years older then her! Upsetting Krista's enormous fanbase even further, Moneymaker callously punts her in the ribcage. She's turned over onto her back where the cameras immortalize her anguished expression. Behind that image are the golden boots of Theodore Moneymaker sliding into the squared circle. Before his eyes is a veritable grab bag of goodies in which to inflict mortal damage on his greatest rival in the OAOAST. But, he needn't take more then a few seconds before he finds his weapon du jour, a simple crutch. Laughing the maniacal laugh that has earned them the hatred of many a OAOAST fan, he waits with cold patience for Krista to finally enter the ring. Having been wounded by Moneymaker's hellish brawling assault, Krista is slow to reach the apron. This proves to be no problem for the wrestling tycoon as he crosses the ring to bash her with his weapon. But, to the fans' incredible joy, Miss California greets his arrival with a shoulder block. Feeling as if he's been hit with by a cannonball in a pink tube top, Moneymaker stumbles backwards in pain. By the time he reaches the center of the ring, though, his pain has morphed into frenzied rage and as Krista enters the ring, he takes a wild home run swing at her head. Fortunately for the many admires of her great looks, Krista ducks bellow the quickly approaching weapon and Moneymaker misses horribly. Thrown off balance by that pathetic miss, Moneymaker is easily victimized by a whirling STO known as the You Say Tomato, I say Fuck You! Fearful of suffering through more oddly named signature holds, he hastily pops upright. But such an action becomes costly when Krista begins terrorizing him with elbow smashes. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” The crowd pleasing attacks shove Moneymaker into the corner, an unfortunate tomb to be buried in for the billionaire as the world famous Californian now begins shredding apart his flabby chest with flesh searing knife edge chops. Finished with her agonizing chopping, Krista now elevates her platformed heels onto the second rope. And without a moment of waste, she shoots her knees into her rival's flame red chest, then launches him through the air. BAM! Moneymaker's portly frame explodes onto the beige ring mat, shaking the structure to its very core and leading to a large ovation from the audience. Theodore's back lurches off the canvas, and his curled mouth screams out with deep roars of misery. None of this seems to affect the unusually stone faced Krista, who can only allow herself a small grin when she acquires his discarded crutch. While this obviously horrifies Mackenzie, it tickles the crowd with violent glee and they ready themselves for the destruction of Moneymaker. COACH No! Mister Moneymaker doesn't deserve this! COLE This is exactly what he deserves. Moneymaker has only a second to react to the unnerving sight of the beautiful creature hovering above him with the aura of a serial killer. Then the crutch slams into his back with the force of a wrecking ball, nearly driving itself through his chest and sending him scurrying away in panicked retreat. K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D! Again a crutch shot ravages his upper back, as he tries to stand and up and mount something resembling a defense. Then a third strike slices through his legs, and his momentum sends him tumbling in the air until he smacks his face across the rock solid ring. He looks up in stunned amazement to see Krista staring down at him with her unearthly blue eyes. He hurriedly rolls in the opposite direction, attempting to scramble towards a vertical base. But that goal continues to elude him, as the queen of fitness' weapon lays waste to his kneecap! At that Moneymaker can't contain the agony that bubbles at his throat, and long tortured cries spill free of his mouth. COLE Well, Moneymaker has brought out an entirely different side of Krista here in the home of the Atlanta Hawks. Normally she's the type to outwit, outsmart and humiliate her foes, but with a personal attachment to her fighting she's... COACH Gone crazy! And poor Moneymaker still has to compete in a Rumble! What if he drew number two or three? How is he going to survive? At zenith of her weapon induced butchery, Kris casts aside her halberd of destruction, and affixes her gory thoughts on achieving a submission. She circles Moneymaker menacingly, looking for an opening, claws ready to strike. Finally, as if searching for some sort of subliminal signal she surges upon him. Her hands weave his ankles around her forearms, and the strength that can only come from dedicating your life to fitness, lifts the paunchy brawler's lower body off the mat. The submission rocks him with tremendous force, sending seismic vibrations all across his back. As the earth shaking jolts of pain rupture in his body, and the crowd urges him to submit, the wailing billionaire makes a frantic crawl the ropes. His arm shoots forward, and his stubby fingers instinctively wiggle, begging the ropes just a bit closer. They don't fulfill his wish, however, and with a mighty exertion of energy he's forced to effort a huge push to his salvation. The resulting exhaustion is well worth the steep price, though, as his fingers now manage to embrace the black ropes. Most unfortunate, however, is that Krista refuses to relinquish her death hold. Mackenzie pleads for senior referee Earl Hebner to interject himself in her madness, but given that its a no DQ the best he can do is appeal to her sense of sportswomanship. COACH Wha? What? This is how they treat TSM's third largest investor? Ridiculous. Get that unfit mother off him! Moneymaker is left distraught by this predicament, shaking the ropes and pleading with Hebner through sorrowful stares. But then his face becomes plagued by anguish, as another howl speeds from his throat. Abruptly, as if she never displayed any inclination or desire to confine Moneymaker to a wheelchair , Krista releases her hold. Breathing easier is Mister Moneymaker, who thanks the gods he's still in relatively decent health. Were he able to actually see Krista retrieving the crutch, he might not be so inclined to offer the holy lord his thanks. As she awaits Moneymaker's rise, tameless furor storms inside her muscles. She slashes at her archnemesis with her spear, and snarls at him with clenched fangs. But in a stealthy move, Moneymaker catches Krista by surprise by smashing his knee into toned stomach. “BOOOOO!” Ignoring the rage of Atlanta, and his throbbing pain, Moneymaker captures Krista by the seat of her leather pants and through a rough clamp onto her bare shoulders. Digging into her soft skin, and cackling with crazed pleasure, he rushes the Hollywood starlet towards the corner nearest Mackenzie. The next thing Krista knows her shoulder is being driven into the the steel ring post. The sharp pain is intense and immediate, and Krista winces under its terrible pressure. Turning towards the entrance stage, Moneymaker screams, “Come, mystery child! Come quick! Lend mommy dearest a helping hand! BWAHHAHAHA!” “DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH TO MONEYMAKER!” Moneymaker takes hold of the SoCal babe's now injured arm and adds an extra helping of misery, through a painfully slow arm wrench. As her arm continues to be twisted and contorted in totally unnatural directions, Krista's horrible screams paint a picture of sizable anguish, and a smile onto Moneymaker's face. Once he reaches the point where he's unable to turn her arm any further, Moneymaker casually flings her onto the canvas. Out of the corner of her tear soaked eyes, she catches a flurry of movement; the infinitely troubling image of Moneymaker taking hold of that dangerous crutch. It only takes a split second for the dismaying picture to bring dismaying pain, as Moneymaker is now viciously hammering her with crutch shots, laughing insanely as he does so. With every shot the fans react with horror and indignation, and some must turn away from the tear jerking sight. COACH That's what we gotta to do preserve the integrity of the American family. Take these dead beat, food stamped, section eight hood rats with they ten kids and they out of control penis guzzlin' aids spreadin tendencies and just beat that stank hoish ass for the world to see! COLE Krista is almost as rich as Moneymaker, has several private chefs, lives in Beverly Hills owns a home in Malibu and a penthouse in New York, has two children not ten, and is a lesbian. Moneymaker stretches Krista's previously targeted arm out creating a fresh batch of concerned gasps from the audience. They watch terrified while the crutch falls like a meteor storm against her unprotected limb. Her body shudders before the blows, and her skull rings like the interior of an enormous cathedral bell. Fortunately for Krista a sixth strike shatters the crutch, calling Moneymaker's beating to a close. Clutching her near lifeless arm, she slowly steps to her feet, but even without a weapon the indomitable tyrant is still too much for her. A jarring $Billion Dollar Knee Lift$ topples the adored heroine to the ropes, and she gasps to see Mister Moneymaker directly in front of her, less then an inch away. “To alter a quote of the Bard, 'How sharper than a serpents tooth, it is to have a loveless mother.” He whispers to her. Before she has an opportunity to react, Moneymaker's open palm slices into her ample chest like a battering ram, propelling her halfway through the turnbuckle posts. Sweat and tears tumble down her grimaced cheeks, as Krista slides into the mat. A fresh gout of blood of blood streams from her hairline, which does not sit terribly well with the fans. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” sing the audience, drawing scornful gazes from both Moneymaker and Mackenzie. With Moneymaker briefly preoccupied with the Georgians, Krista seizes the moment to painfully drag her battered bones to their feet. Smoking hot blood cloaks blue eyes in an angered red, as she watches Moneymaker swoop towards her, coming feet first like some ravenous bird of prey. Moneymaker's steel toed boots smack into her head with breakneck force, spinning her around and sending her flipping head over high heels. She crashes face down into the ground, stunned senseless, and now Moneymaker moves in for the kill. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COACH First the emotional destruction of Krista Isadora Duncan, and now the physical! Mister Moneymaker is the one man wrecking crew. Krista lurches forward on the canvas, desperate to at least mount some kind of attack against her near demonic tormentor. But the entire arena spun around her vertigiously, and she drops limply back to the ground. Her blurry, blood marked eyes search for anything she can use against the onslaught. Her anguished gaze falls on a swath of silver plated steel shimmering not three centimeters away. A steel pipe! Moneymaker wades determinedly up behind the fallen beauty. He grabs her by the back of her neck, and begins to choke the obscene life straight from her body. Krista gasps for breath and the veins on her throat bulge tautly beneath her skin. “Time for the end!” Moneymaker decrees. “And if they're not careful your bygone child will suffer the same fate. BWAHAHHAHHA!” “BOOOOOO!” A glint of light catches Moneymaker's eye, and he looks up to see a flash of metal gleaming near him. Krista's hands appear circled around the metallic shimmer that comes zipping towards him with alarming speed. CRACK! Dropping Krista free of his grasp, Moneymaker teeters backwards with his hands held to his severely bleeding face. COLE Yeah! That's the way, Krista! Turning to Mackie, Moneymaker shouts, “Why in the devil didn't you warn..” he begins his interrogation only to be caught off guard by a roundhouse kick from the white platform boots of Krista herself! Moneymaker's head jerks sideways, and beads of sweat spring free of his forehead. He screams nosily, electrifying Krista, who springs towards him. Weapon raised for murderous mayhem, she charges him, slamming him over the ropes with her powerful piece of metal! "YEAAAAAA!" Perhaps foreshadowing his downfall in the Lethal Rumble, Moneymaker twists and tumbles through the air, before landing in a broken pile of sweat and bones. Face down on the mat, the only thing he can hear beyond his slow moans is the gigantic pop of the audience. An overpowering sense of fear over Krista's vile intentions leaves Moneymaker weak in every bone in his body. His fingers grope clumsily underneath the ring apron for a suitable weapon, as his mind urges him to work faster, knowing full well how out of control his opponent happens to be. Even as he lays his sweat drenched hands on a trash can lid, he fully expects Krista to pounce on him with a hailstorm of pipe assisted attacks. But to his blissful surprise, the crazed vixen is only on the ring apron, permitting him to slip out his garbage lid. He lunges upward and the sound of the lid striking Krista's head implants fear into heart of every last crowd member. They're worries aren't exactly assuaged when they watch Krista sink all the way to the ring floor, seemingly devoid of life. “BOOOOO!” they spew, as Moneymaker shows off his infamous money fingers. Moneymaker's arms extend into the ring in order to snag a steel chair, which brings upon several more ounces of venom and bile from the fans. That anger is suddenly replaced replaced by a stunned joy, when they watch Los Angeles' favorite daughter slam her arms into his bearded face. Rocked with agony, Moneymaker immediately removes the chair from his grip, and brings his hands to his sore face. BIG mistake. The record holding four time tag team champion takes hold of the chair, and thoughts of an endless bloodbath wash over her like a soothing massage. She flashes a disturbingly savage grin, as she cranks the chair open, and attaches it across Moneymaker's head like a necklace. This predicament delights the now standing fans, but obviously displeases Mackenzie, who seems to now fear for her own safety. Rightfully so. COLE Your so called “real wrestler” is getting holy hell from your much despised “entertainer” COACH That means nothing. Even Tyson managed to KO HBK. With her grin expanding into a full blown psychotic smile, Miss California guides Moneymaker off the canvas. She uses the chair as a steering while to drive her fear stricken foe forward through a one way collision course with the steel posts. Already the fans are erupting with delight, eager to witness the decimation of the nefarious villain. There's not a single bit of disappointment to be had for them, as thei fiery heroine shoves him straight into the posts. Moneymaker's face goes blank, the color departs his skin, and his balance betrays him, leaving him to stagger aimlessly until he's finally brought down to the mat. COLE The fans called for death to Moneymaker, and by George, I think Krista's trying to give it to them! COACH Not since Sherman burned Atlanta have I seen such a disgraceful crime committed against a historic and venerated body. Wiping away strands of vibrant gold hair, Krista looks nothing like the beautiful covergirl worshiped by so many. Blood reddens her eyes and face, while swollen veins pulse angrily at her temples. Scowling in unquenchable agitation she ventures near the steel barricades, and the audience backs away tremulously, fearful of the storm to come. She roars like an aggrieved lion, as she situates her clunky platform boots onto the barricade. She becomes a pink and blond whirlwind of motion, recklessly swooping and rising above Moneymaker with a corkscrew moonsault. Despite her small body weight her descending body shoots through her adversary like a bat out of hell! Moneymaker lays there helplessly and his body trembles out of pain and fear. Mere inches beyond him, Krista's hands fall around her sore stomach “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Krista risking her own well being to inflict as much damage as possible on Theodore Moneymaker! COACH And why not? She risks the well being of her eldest child to preserve her upper class West LA lifestyle? Since when does this does woman care about anything besides a sale on a six pack of Coors light? With his hands tightened around the ring apron, Moneymaker's unsteadily brings himself to his feet. In search of relative safety, he slogs his battered carcass into the ring. But he's distraught to eye the sight of a knelling Krista, hands rolling through long locks, and face contorted into a sick pleasure. While he tries to get himself off the mat, Miss California easily leaps onto the second rope behind him. Unaware of this, Moneymaker stands up under the impression he'll be able to mount a strong attack. How wrong he is! Krista catches him into an inverted facelock, and the pops for the forthcoming tornado ddt are mammoth. But, Moneymaker prevents such a move from occurring by furiously pumping his fists into Krista's already wounded midsection. His hands slam off her bones with jarring impact, weakening her to the point where the billion dollar heir is able to throw her off the turnbuckle. THUD! Krista slams onto the floor, her attempts to brace herself for the fall doing little to relieve the jarring jolts that send her bouncing up and down. But, Moneymaker is in no better status though, bent over, wincing, and clinching onto his belly as if his insides were soon to pour out. Despite this obvious misery, the tycoon closes the distance between he and his beautiful foe, ready to pound her into an early gave. But, the fitness queen displays crowd pleasing fighting spirit by launching her boot directly into Moneymaker's thigh! This glorious attack buys the lusty blonde enough time rolls herself off the mat, and take control of the bout by irish whipping the Floridan into the corner. Right as Moneymaker's crashes into the poorly padded ring posts the succulent figure of Miss California is screaming towards him with a body splash. Acting with shocking quickness, Moneymaker dips low, and uses her momentum to fling her into the air behind him! She lands impaled on the ring ropes, her legs drop on either side of the ring. Its a situation that does sit overly well with the fans. “MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” Even in his less then optimal state, Moneymaker is inclined to a good spat with the fans, and loudly decries them as he scoops up a nearby trash can. Before Krista's panicked eyes, the flashing speed of the steel weapon comes torpedoing upon her. SMASH! Krista is airborne, flung off the ropes and into the mat, where an ear-pounding ringing assails her head. More attacks come, and Krista feels as if she were being beaten to a pulp inside a blender. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” The fans try to rally her to her feet. For an instant and uncomfortable calm replaces the once ceaseless crashes. Through grungy strands of hair, Kris sees the unfortunate source of this standstill is Moneymaker affixing his trash can onto the top rope. Not offering a single second for Krista to concoct a counter attack, Moneymkaer marches towards her and clamps down her hair with an unbreakable grip. Krista clenches her teeth in horror, as her constant tormentor manically drives her straight across the ring. Once he reaches the edge of the ring, he slams his rival into the trash can with a sickening thud. The force of the collision feels like its shattered her entire face, and the breath is knocked from her body. Against her will, her feet leave the floor as she tumbles towards the dingy mat. The cameras capture images of the fans shocked with worry over the fate of the most popular woman in the OAOAST. Elsewhere, Mackenzie doesn't even bother to try and suppress her joy, loudly laughing at Krista's fate. COLE Oh my! How much longer can Krista hold out? Despite the incredible pain she's under, she's able to get to her feet on her own power. Unfortunately, that's about all she can do, as the Yale alum seizes her arm and fires her into a vacant corner. The fantastic impact from the collision with the pads brings shockwaves of agony to Krista's back as she staggers away from the corner. Eventually the pain becomes too much to bear for the moment, and her knees give away, dropping her to the canvas. At that point Moneymaker pounces on her for the first pinfall of the match... ONE! TWO! Krista pulls her shoulder off the canvas, pleasing the audience immensely! Not quite as pleased is Mackenzie, who, squealing archly, argues that the count bordered on the slow side. Moneymaker leaves the complaints to his right hand woman, and with trash can in tow begins to scale atop the turnbuckles. COACH Mister Moneymaker is going is going for it all! Invest big, return big. That's the motto that has turned the Moneymaker family into an empire that spans continents. As the crowd continues to pelt him with vulgar chants, Moneymaker departs the top rope, holding the trash can in front of his stout body like some manner of oversized chest protector. While ripping through the air, Moneymaker spots the distressing sight of Kris rolling away from his path. Unfortunately he as no time to do anything more then brace for impact. And what impact it is, his chest caving through the flimsy metal, his agape mouth pouring out ear piercing screams. All of that thrills the crowd, and they wildly applaud Moneymaker's latest failure. Adding to their joy is Krista Isadora Duncan, through sore bones and bruised skin climbing to the highest turnbuckle. But any happy thoughts of Moneymaker's demise they may embark in, are seemingly dashed into dust by Mackenzie's shimmering evening gown clad body arrive onto the ring apron. The underhanded she-devil doesn't approach unarmed, as her fabulously low cut outfit is accessorized by another trash can and a hockey stick! As Krista failed to detect Mackenzie's arrival (odd, because its another hot lesbian in a skimpy outfit), her fellow Los Angelina is able to shroud her in darkness inside the trash can. COLE Why? You've done enough! You've done enough, damn it! Lending no attention to the pleas of announcer, crowd, and official alike, Mackenzie happily crashes the hockey stick into the trash can with every bit of strength in her body! The sickening sound of wood clanking off metal fills the arena as Krista's body flares through the air like a bright pink supernova. Mackenzie's deep red lips curve into a wide smile, as she watches Krista's corpse nosedive into the floor, and her charred remains left awkwardly contorted within the trash can. “BOOOOO” shrieks the Phillips Arena, while Mackenzie takes a page out of Krista's book and gracefully bows to their less then kind comments. Feigning sympathy for Krista's suffering, Moneymaker gazes into the nearest camera and adds, “Dear, sweet mystery child of Krista Isadora Duncan, with your identity soon to be revealed as per my master plan. We only have One Mom, One Mommy, One Mother in this World, One life. Don't wait for the Tomorrows to tell Mom, you love her. BWHAHAHAAHAH!” As the fans look on in hatred and horror, the loud mouthed moneyed man takes into the skies with his trademark billion dollar knee lift. Tortured screams erupt from inside the trash can, as the crippling pain burns through the trapped glamor girl's body. COLE Good god, this is heinous. Do these Enterprise hounds not know when enough is enough? Moneymaker himself fares only scantly better from that signature strike, his face mangled by an indescribable anguish as he hobbles onto his now badly wounded legs. Acting in perfect strategy with her boss is Mackenzie, who opens a steel chair near the corner posts furtherest away from Krista. While Mackenzie rejoices in the misery soon to befall her detested rival, her leader yanks Krista free of the mishapped trash can. Minus any hints of life or spirit, she looks as though she's about to incur further injury as Moneymaker begins whipping her to towards the chair. But, somehow the tanned goddess reverses Moneymaker's hold and the wealthy brawler is sent rushing towards his own trap. Terribly disappointing to the audience, Moneymaker, actually grabs onto the top of chair to keep the rest of his body from trampling over it! COACH That was a little to close for us Moneymaker fans. Or as I like to call us, Moneymarks! COLE What is this us junk? You're the only one who likes him. He lost to Landon Maddix for heel of the year by only a few votes! Reaching from the outside of the ring, Mackenzie begins situating the oft-used trash can between the second and third ropes. The audience's attention remains on the other underdressed blonde, who's smooth legs are hurling a leaping sidekick at the tycoon's head. But Moneymaker ducks beneath her incoming strike, causing her to sail harmlessly past. When she lands on her oversized boots, the billion dollar heir captures her billion dollar body into her arms in hopes of crushing her with a fall forward slam. But, the combo of sweat and baby oil makes the Los Angeles native a far too slippery prey to keep hold of, and he clumsily looses his hold on her! ““K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!”” Free from Moneymaker's clutches on her, Krista haphazardly tries to shove him into the chair. But, Moneymaker is pushed forward a mere few inches before he returns to Miss California with a lariat. The Anglepalooza poster girl ducks beneath the strike, and when her adversary comes rocketing back with a mirror effort, she laces long boots around his ankles for a drop toe hold. Such a simple move has disastrous implications for Moneymaker, as his neck is severed by the steel chair, and his head rams into the trash can! Surrounded by an onrush of cheers, Moneymaker falls to the mat, face flushed with a pain he's never before felt. ““K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!”” COACH She could've crushed his larynx! She just may have crushed his larynx! Keenly aware of the fact that Moneymaker may well be on his way to a very rare loss, Mackenzie enacts the emergency plan. Into the ring the Enterprise madame slides, moving with such ferocity and speed, you'd think she were in actual wrestling tights a three thousand dollar gown. Her addition to the fracas, pulls the audience's attention away from Simon Singleton and Christian Wright, both of whom rush down the ramp at top speeds. But most importantly Mackenzie's in ring presence distracts Krista, giving Wright and Simon the necessary time to pull Moneymaker out the ring. “BOOOOOOO!” "SILENCE!" Singleton screams, getting a dirty look from CW, because, well, that's CW's line. Problematically, The Enterprise has not quite covered for getting Mackenzie out of harms way, and thus there's no one to counter the foolishness she displays when she inexplicably challenges Krista. COLE Is this woman insane? Really you've done more enough to Krista and now she's going to do plenty to you! With a piercing wail, Mackenzie launches herself full blast at Krista. But even in her poor condition, Krista is game for Mackenzie's challenge. Krista grabs hold of her foe's arms, pinning them to her sides, and instantly etching remarkable fear onto her face. Frantically, Mackenzie tries to pull free, but the surprising strength of Krista, keeps her in a panic inducing submissive position. Her hands furiously gnaw at Krista's hair, but leave her unprotected to Miss California's heated shredding of her gown. As exhilarating helpings of her perfect glistening skin become touched by the cold arena air, the audience hollers in delight while Mackenzie shrieks in fear. The gorgeous babes roll across the floor, Mackenzie trying to rip Krista's hair from her scalp, Krista performing the crowd pleasing task of freeing Mackenzie's body from her sparkling bonds. Mackie is eager to use the sloppy brawling as a means to escape the dominant woman's clutches. But to her great frustration, Krista lands on top of her, pinning her to the ring floor. Face lined with desperation, Mackenzie utilizes every bit of energy to fight for her freedom. But mounted by a woman with the strength of an amazon makes escape fairly impossible. Drawing a large pop is the arrival of celebrity chef turned superstar recording artist, Alix Maria Spezia, outfitted in faded jeans, and a mink fur coat, NONE OF THAT FAKE SHIT. Quickly Alix reaches the edge of the ring, and uses her strength to pull Mackenzie free of Krista's prison. This is not a particularly pleasant occurrence for the audience who were enjoying the steamy catfight. Not paying them much attention, the pop diva ushers the barely clothed Mackenzie's behind her. Just the sight of Alix's presence causes Krista to lose her temper entirely. He slams her fist against the turnbuckles, causing the ropes to vibrate wildly. Murderously her anger flares, as she sees neither guilt nor shame in Alix's eyes, just a dismissive if not scornful gaze. The type of gaze given to someone you feel isn't worthy of withholding a second of your time. Krista leans over the ropes, smirking with a mischievous, loaded grin, one that tells the retreating group, they'll be meeting her again very soon. BUFFER The winner as a result of a forfeit....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! Though the fans are quite pleased that Krista scored what's technically considered a victory, its a wholly hollow achievement as Moneymaker stands atop the entry way laughing his fool head off while his arm tightly squeezes Alix's shoulder in both appreciation and gloating. Behind Alix and Moneymaker, Singleton and Mackenzie raise their hands in triumph, and toss a number of taunts Krista's way. Wright stays silent, realizing he could very well be insulting his own mother! COLE I'm certain we haven't heard the last of this war between The Enterprise and Krista Isadora Duncan, and I know we haven't heard the last of Moneymaker, he'll be in the rumble later on tonight. Fortunately for him his loyal henchmen CPA will also be there to watch his back. Bit of an unfair advantage for the billion dollar heir if you ask me. COACH Nothing wrong with having guys your tight with in there! Sure its every man for himself, but don't act like D*LUX wouldn't watch Leon Rodez's back, or Logan won't watch Synth's. You've still got your friends and allies up until there's two people left, that's when it really is everyman for himself. COLE Well,how about we go backstage for more drawings? Edited January 29, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 Over we go again to the Lethal Rumble drawing room, just in time infact as ZACK MALIBU is at the tumbler ready to draw his number. The tumbler stops while he and AngleSault are still reminiscing about good times, Zack not paying much attention as he picks his number. Taking a quick look, he raises an eyebrow a little in interest, before handing over to AS. ANGLESAULT So, what do you reckon? Two years in a row? ZACK Heh... could be man, could be. Taking nothing for granted, I mean there's plenty of capable guys going after that bullseye on my chest. But hey, I guess I should be used to that by now, right? ANGLESAULT No doubt. AS suddenly looks aside as into room walks BOHEMOTH, to a big reaction out in the arena. Not looking entirely surprised by this development, AngleSault stands looking on as Bo and Zack square up for a second before exchanging a friendly nod. And just a nod. ANGLESAULT Bo, glad you could make it. BOHEMOTH Don't mention it. So, how did you do? ZACK Ah well, that'd be telling now, wouldn't it big man. Let's not ruin the surprise. After all, it's every man for himself... I wouldn't want to HELP anybody else out, would I? BOHEMOTH Good point. Bo walks over to the tumbler and after a quick rotation by Maggie, Bo reaches in and grabs his number. But he doesn't so much as begin to try and open it, casually flipping the unopened ball to AngleSault, who just about catches it without fumbling. BOHEMOTH Besides, it's not like it matters anyway. Bo strolls off out of the room, none the wiser about his entrance number, Zack getting the message loud and clear and smiling to himself. Go to OAOASTShop.com to buy the latest in OAOAST merchandise! Toys! Belts! T-shirts! Foam hands! Bandanas! Chains! Wrist bands! And anything else your heart desires! You can find what the OAOAST superstars wear at only one place, OAOASTShop.com! AOL keyword: OAOASTShop! NOW AVAILABLE AT OAOASTShop Abdullah Abir Nerdly You know him as a guide to the infinite. As a bright star in a world shrouded in darkness. As a messenger nurtured inside heaven's golden womb As a speaker for the will of the prophets and ideas of the gods. Now you will know him as your personal guide to spiritual betterment with the seven disc DVD set Key To The Beyond. Your's for only four hundred dollars. ABDULLAH We live in a world corrupted by malcontent forces, driven into the depths of hades by pagan idolaters. Its a world under attack by thought terrorists and their blasphemous voodoo science beliefs! How can you survive? You can not, brothers and sisters! Evil is upon us, and it will soon prevail, brothers and sisters. Yes it will! The only hope any of us has is in the salvation of my teachings. Come take my hand, and let me guide you past the tenebrous evil around us, and into genuine, spiritual, peace. I am an inspirational leader to man, and a speaker for the prophets. I am the Key To The Beyond. FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) COLE And now is the time, folks! We're about to crown the Undisputed champion of the World! Popick! Strutter! Heat! It will only be one! Let's go to the ring, and Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time for one of the biggest matches in the OAOAST's history! Right here in this ring, three of the wrestling world's biggest stars prepare to do battle, to determine the ONE and ONLY OAOAST champion of the WORLD! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Atlanta, Georgia...ARRRRRRE YYYOUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Atlanta, and the millions and millions watching all over the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. COLE And here comes the first contestant! The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. Suddenly, we hear the voice of DMX. "COME ON!" Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing, and the crowd goes nuts as Colombian Heat comes through the curtains. COACH Oh, man. If THIS guy walks out of here as the Undisputed World champion... Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the entrance, and then looks to the ring, takes a deep breath, and starts his walk, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time! The first participant in the match...weighing in at 179 1/2 pounds! He won his title in an grueling unification match at Zero Hour 2007, and tonight, he looks to win yet another unification match. Ladies and gentlemen...from Miami, Florida...he is the OAOAST United States champion...COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLOMBIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!! COLE And as Michael Buffer said, Colombian Heat has a history of success in unification matches! What a story this would be if he could get the win tonight! Heat hops into the ring, then gets on the second rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, as the cheers. Heat then gets on the second turnbuckle and throws up the "W" hand signal again, recieving more cheers. COACH Yeah, but with all due respect to James Riggs, these are two World champion performers he's in there with! He's in way over his head tonight, I've got to think! Colombian Heat gets off the second turnbuckle, and grabs a microphone as the music dies down. Colombian Heat says over the mic, "If all of y'all are ready to see me two World champions feel the Heat, make some noise up in this BI-AAAATCH~!!!" *crowd makes some noise up in this BI-AAAATCH* Colombian Heat puts the microphone down. Je t'adore, je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls plays, as the lights go out, and the entrance fills with pink strobes and smoke. Shortly after, "After Hours" Felix Strutter walks through the smoke crowd, with a big smirk on his face. BUFFER The second participant in this match...weighing in at 218 1/4 pounds! In less than 18 months, this man rose from the ranks as an unheralded tag team wrestler, and tonight, he looks to become the Undisputed World champion! Ladies and gentlemen...from San Jose, California...he is the OAOAST International champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXX SSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COLE Felix Strutter looking very confident, as he should, what a term he's had here in the OAOAST! COACH The guy's been here less than 18 months, and look at him now, a World champion! How many people have risen up the ranks like Felix Strutter? Strutter slides in the ring, and poses on the ropes with his belt, as the crowd boos. COLE And Colombian Heat looking on, and remember, he pinned Strutter in a tag match just ten days ago on HeldDOWN~! Strutter hops down, as the lights return, just in time for Stronger by Kanye West to play, as the boos of the crowd intensify. COACH And here comes the final man! Stephen Joseph Popick walks through the curtain, unseen behind the white pyro showering down, then holds his arms out in a crucified position, as the rest of his pyro goes off. He then turns around, and walks to the ring confidently. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time...he weighs in at 225 1/4 pounds! This man shocked the world on Halloween night, by winning his second World title! And tonight, he looks to unify it with another! He is the self-proclaimed Most Hated Man in the OAOAST...Ladies and gentlemen...from Atlanta, Georgia...he is the TWO-TIME OAOAST champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...SSSSSSSSTEPHENNNNNN JOOOOSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPHHHHHHH POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!! COACH What a bunch of ingrates here in Atlanta! This is their hometown hero! COLE Well, the guy is kind of a jerk. COACH LIES! Popick climbs the steel steps, then climbs up with one foot on the top rope, surveying the crowd, and smirks. He then hops inside, and all three men remove their belts. The referee raises Popick's and Strutter's belts in the air, then hands them to the ring attendant, and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And we are officially under way! All three men stand in mid-ring, and stare one another down. COACH A three-way staredown, I love it! The staredown is broken up by Heat, who catches Popick right in the chops with a right hand! COLE What a shot from Heat! COACH What a cheap shot! UN-FUCKING-CALLED FOR! COLE If you ask me, it was very fucking called for. COACH Well, I didn't, so shut the fuck up, bitch. Strutter then decks Heat from behind, and continues the assault, until Popick regains his senses and attacks Strutter from behind. Strutter and Popick trade punches, until Heat grabs both men by the hair, then looks out to the crowd, which roars in response. COLE Go ahead, Heat! Heat rams the heads of Popick and Strutter together! COLE The ol' double noggin-knocker! Heat backs Strutter into the ropes, and whips him right into Popick, sending Popick to the outside! COLE And the OAOAST World champion to the outside! Heat then catches Strutter coming with a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Strutter returns fire! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Heat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Strutter! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Heat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Another from Heat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Strutter delivers a knee to the gut, then takes Heat down with a side headlock. Heat quickly goes to a headscissors, but Strutter rolls around and flips on top of Heat. 1... 2... Heat bridges, turns around, and takes Strutter over with a backslide! 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter quickly gets to his feet and floors Heat with a clothesline! COLE Nice awareness by Felix Strutter, and a nice clothesline! However, as Strutter turns around, he himself is floored with a clothesline from Popick! COACH And there's another nice clothesline! Popick then moves over to Strutter and stomps away. Heat gets to his feet, but is met with big rights from Popick, and gets sent back down. Popick then makes his way over to Strutter, delivering some more rights, then tosses him over the top...but Strutter skins the cat back inside! COACH Felix is still in there! Popick whips Heat into the ropes, towards Strutter, who quickly ducks and backdrops Heat to the floor! COLE And it's Heat who ends up on the outside! Strutter and Popick slug it out inside, with Strutter getting the better of the exchange. He whips Popick into the ropes, and catches him with a big backdrop! He then follows Popick into the corner, and hammers away. He goes for an Irish whip, but Popick reverses, then catches him with a high knee! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Count of two for Popick! Popick then runs to the ropes, and rams into Heat, knocking him back to the floor. He follows Heat out, and the two begin to trade punches. However, that is broken up when Strutter floors them both with a CORKSCREW PLANCHA~! COACH DAY-UM~! COLE Strutter out of nowhere with a twisting dive over the top! And all three men are out of it on the floor! Strutter slowly gets to his feet, then grabs Popick and tosses him back inside, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE That won't be enough to put down the World champion! Strutter picks up Popick, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! He whips Popick across, but puts his head down, and Popick delivers a shot to the back, then goes to a standing headscissors. COLE Piledriver, perhaps? However, Heat comes in and clotheslines Popick to the mat! He then ducks a clothesline from Strutter, and fires away, backing him into a corner. He whips Strutter hard across the ring, and Strutter takes it CHEST-FIRST~! COLE And Strutter HARD into the buckles! Strutter then delivers a foot to the gut of Popick, then backs into the ropes and executes a swinging neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Heat hammers Popick in a corner, then whips him across and charges...but Popick moves out of the way! COLE Nobody home for Colombian Heat! Popick picks Heat up in atomic drop position, and sets him on the top rope, then pulls him down into the tree of woe position! COACH And Heat's caught! I like this! Popick kicks away at Heat, then breaks to pose, drawing boos. He grabs Strutter, and whips him hard right into Heat! COLE Nice move there from Popick! Strutter goes to the mat, and Popick drops a knee, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! He sets up the move again, but this time, Strutter reverses, and Heat gets a foot up in the corner! COLE And that move backfired twice on Popick! Strutter rolls up Popick from behind! 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter and Popick duke it out in mid-ring, with Popick getting the better of things this time. Popick whips Strutter across, but Strutter ducks a clothesline, and catches Popick with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK~! COLE BIG move from Felix Strutter! Strutter stops to pose, drawing boos, but gets nailed with the PELE KICK~!, drawing a big pop from the crowd! COACH Oh, no! COLE Heat with the Pele Kick! The cover... 1... 1... (wtf dude thats supposed to be 2) o yea lolz 2... Popick makes the save! COLE SO close for Heat! Heat ducks a big swing from Popick, then hooks him and delivers the BONG HIT~! COLE Bong Hit from Heat, and he's going upstairs! Heat gets to the top rope, but Strutter races over and racks him! COACH And Felix is back in it! Strutter measures Popick, going for a big roundhouse kick, but Popick ducks, then hooks Strutter and executes a DDT! COLE But a nice DDT from Popick stops the momentum! Strutter rolls to the outside, then Popick makes his way over to Heat, climbing upstairs, and taking him down with a superplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Popick tries again... 1... 2... Kickout! One more time... 1... 1... (wtf you did it again) omgwtf 2... Kickout! COACH Has anyone ever gotten a pin by doing that? COLE Not that I know of. Popick hammers away on Heat on the mat, but Heat fights to his feet, then wins an exchange. He attempts an Irish whip, but puts his head down. Popick hooks Heat, and does a throat slash. COACH Uh-oh, could it be time for the FallenAngel? However, Heat reverses to a small package! 1... 2... ...but Strutter breaks! COLE And another close count for Heat! Strutter grabs Heat in a rear waistlock, but Heat goes behind and executes the GANGSTA SLAM~! COLE Heat with the Gangsta Slam! And he's going up top again! COACH This cost him last time! Heat comes off with THE FATAL MISTAKE~! COLE The Fatal Mistake! 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets the shoulder up! COLE INCHES, INCHES away! Heat covers again... 1... 2... Kickout! Heat then gets in the mount position, and starts to hammer away. He picks him up, and whips him into the ropes. Strutter ducks a clothesline, and floors Heat with a HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK~! COACH YES~! COLE Big kick from Strutter! Strutter stops to catch his breath, but Popick charges. Strutter catches him with an inverted atomic drop, followed by a clothesline, and another! He then signals for the end. COLE And Felix says he's ready to become the Undisputed champion! Strutter hooks Popick...and delivers the SANTA CLARA CRUSH~!!!!!11111 COLE He hit it! 1... 2... ...Heat grabs Popick by the leg, and pulls him right out of the ring! COLE And this time it's Heat who breaks the count! Strutter goes to the outside to get some of Heat, then rolls him back inside. He attempts an Irish whip, but Heat reverses, then puts his head down. Strutter catches him, and sets up the SANTA CLARA CRUSH~!!!!!11111 COACH Here it comes again! However, Heat counters, and slingshots Strutter into the post! COLE Strutter right into the ringpost! Strutter falls back to the mat, as the camera zooms in. COLE And Felix is cut open! Heat mounts and delivers right hands, then backs into the ropes, and executes the SHAKY LEGS KNEEDROP~! Cover... 1... 2... Popick saves! Popick tosses Heat to the outside, then follows him out and attempts to ram his face into the steps, but Heat blocks and turns the tables on Popick! Heat then hammers on Popick, as Popick goes around the corner of the ring. Heat sets up an Irish whip, but Popick reverses, sending Heat crashing into the steel steps! COLE And Colombian Heat crashes into those steel ring steps! Popick stops to catch his breath, then gets a smirk on his face. COLE And Popick has gotten an idea, I think. Popick makes his way over to the announcer's table, and starts picking it apart. COACH Uh-oh... As Popick gets done with the table, Heat spins him around and delivers right hands, then rolls him onto the table. Heat follows him up, then ducks behind him. COACH Oh, no! Not a Colombian Necktie through our table??? However, Popick sits down on the move, and the two engage in another slugfest, until Strutter comes out and delivers a low blow to Heat! COLE And a low blow from Felix Strutter! Popick comes off the table, as Strutter discusses something with him. They then both pull Heat off the table. COLE What's this? COACH I'm not sure, but I think I'm going to like it! Strutter and Popick hook Heat, then drive him THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE WITH A DOUBLE POWERBOMB~!!! COLE/COACH CROWD HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! Popick starts to pose again, and is attacked from behind by Strutter! COLE It's still every man for himself, Stephen! Strutter rolls Popick back into the ring...then goes under the apron, and grabs a BARBED-WIRE BAT~! COLE And Strutter's got a big baseball bat, wrapped in barbed wire! COACH And you know what they say about guys with big bats! COLE ...what. COACH High slugging percentage! COLE Or HGH, one of the two! Strutter rolls in, shoves the referee aside, and drives the bat into Popick's forehead! COLE And now Popick bleeding after that big bat shot! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! Strutter delivers right hands from the mount position, then raises the bat again. COLE And Strutter with that bat again! However, this time, Popick delivers a low blow, then gets to his feet...and executes the FALLEN ANGEL~!!!!!11111 COLE Popick with the Fallen Angel! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Heat breaks the count! COACH I can't believe this. COLE Heat out of nowhere interrupting the count! Both men lay on the mat for several seconds, until finally Popick gets to his feet, and picks up Heat. Heat blocks a right, and delivers one of his own! The two trade punches, until Popick goes to the eyes. Strutter struggles to his feet, as Popick sets up for the FALLEN ANGEL~!!!!!11111 once again. However, Heat spins behind, and lifts Popick up for the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!11111 However, Heat leaves himself wide open for a bat shot from Strutter! COACH Look at this! COLE Strutter with the bat! Strutter struggles over, and makes the cover... 1... 1... (...dude.) 2... NO!!! Strutter gets the shoulder up! COACH Jesus Tapdancing Christ. COLE Two-count! Heat is still alive! Popick makes a move for the bat, as Strutter picks up Heat and sets him up for the SANTA CLARA CRUSH~!!!!!11111 ...but Heat spins behind again, and plants Strutter with the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!11111 COLE HE GOT IT!!! Cover him, Heat! However, Heat can't make the cover. Popick measures him with the bat, and charges...but Heat ducks, and with a PELE KICK~!, sends the bat right back into Popick's face! Popick staggers... ...and falls backwards on top of Strutter! COACH Look at this! 1... 2... Heat makes one last lunge... ...but is too late! 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~! COLE And it's all over! Stephen Joseph Popick has done it! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match...and the UNDISPUTED OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...SSSSSSSSTEPHENNNNNN JOOOOSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPHHHHHHH POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!! All three men are still laid out on the mat, Popick laying on his back on top of Strutter, and Heat with his left hand draped over Popick and his right one over Strutter. COLE What guts, what determination shown by these three men! But in the end, there could only be one Undisputed OAOAST World champion, and there he is, Stephen Joseph Popick! The referee lifts Popick to his knees and drapes both belts over his right shoulder, as members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation happily run to ringside. Popick falls through the ropes, right onto the waiting shoulder of Cuban Wall. COLE And if Felix Strutter and Colombian Heat can take one thing from this match, Popick is not walking out of this arena victorious, but rather is being carried out by his cronies! Popick gets enough strength to raise the belts up with his right hand, as the SJPC celebrates in the aisle. Strutter has rolled to the outside, as Heat lays on his side, and watches the Corporation celebrate. COLE And Colombian Heat looking on, so close to winning that World title! But a bad break at the end cost him the match! COACH And I'm glad! COLE Oh, shut the fuck up. COACH .... COLE Folks, we're mere moments away from the two thousand eight Lethal Rumble, where we will find out just who is going to Anglemania to face Stephen Joseph. Will it be Landon Maddix? Will it be Alfdogg? Zack Malibu? Bohemoth? Theodore Moneymaker? Or the number one entrant in the rumble Tha Puerto Rican? COACH Now its your turn to shut the fuck up! There's big money laying out there to make sure that doesn't happen. If Puerto were really on his grind, he'd eliminate himself and collect that change. COLE I think he has a bit too much pride in his craft to do that, Coach! COACH Bit too much pride in being dirt poor! You know Popick was the one keeping him well fed, well clothed. I heard this teddy bear be shoppin discount at Century21 and eating generic brand lucky charms. That's real, dawg. Holla at me. patty sez:lol this board has word filtered nigga Edited January 29, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, host to the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the World Series and for a short time the site of WrestleMania. But on Sunday night, March 30, 2008, it will be host to the biggest spectacle in all of e-fed entertainment when the One & Only AngleSault Thread presents... ANGLEMANIA VII "A night that will leave the City of Angels singing and crying." 3/30/08 OAOAST QuizDown is presented by OAOAST Lethal Intent now available for Nintendo DS Who won the first ever Anglepalooza Royal/Lethal Rumble: A.Sandman B.Anglesault C.Sole Survivor D.Zack Malibu The answer:Sole Survivor Edited January 29, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) (yes I know there arent 30 ppl!) BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen... it is now time... for the 2008 LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Now, here are the rules... Over walks Howard Finkel for his one OAOAST appearance a year, to run down the rules as only he can. COACH Do we really have to go through this every year? COLE Well, considering the rules seem to change every year, then yes. FINK Earlier today, those participating in the Lethal Rumble match drew numbers from 1-30 at random. In just a few moments, those men who drew numbers 1 and 2 will enter the ring, and the match will begin. Every two minutes thereafter, another participant enters the match, according to the number he pulled. Remember, in the Lethal Rumble, it is every man for himself! Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown out over the top rope, and BOTH FEET must touch the floor. The one man remaining in the ring after all 30 participants have entered, will be declared the winner, and will receive an OAOAST Championship match at ANGLEMANIA VII! “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” A lightning bolt hits the stage, sending a plume of smoke up into the air as "Know Your Role 2000" begins to play through the arena. The crowd rise to their feet as one as Tha Puerto Rican himself emerges through the smoke. Cracking out his neck and his knuckles, PRL takes a deep intake of breath before he begins to march to the ring with a determined look on his face. The camera cuts deep into the crowd, to a group of six fans clad in full PRL garb, all with ridiculously oversized comedy eyebrows over one eye and giving PR the thumbs up. BUFFER Introducing at this time, he is the man ASSIGNED the number 1 position in this year's Lethal Rumble. Competing in his fifth successive Lethal Rumble Match! He hails from San Juan, Puerto Rico! One half of the BAD BOYZ... "THE P.R MENACE!!"... ladies and gentlemen, he is... THA PPPUUUUUUEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRTTOOOOOOOOOOOO... RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tha Puerto Rican has another moment to himself to psyche himself up before he marches up the steps, scaling the turnbuckles on the outside and saluting his fans. COLE Last year PRL made it down to the final three. But he faces perhaps the fight of his life here tonight in order to match and he will hope better that accomplishment. Not only has Stephen Joseph Popick used his Corporate Connections to make sure PR starts the match off as the number one entrant, but he's also convinced Vitamin X to part with one million dollars of his money by way of a bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican! COACH And remember a couple of years ago, when Zack Malibu had the bounty on his head? Did he win the Lethal Rumble? COLE No he did not. COACH Exactly. And that wasn't half the reward that's on offer to twenty nine superstars this time around! Let's face it, when Popick wants something done, he does it right. Just like his acquisition of The Lightning Crew and transformation into the SJPC, he's got his bases covered when it comes to keeping PRL out of the World Title picture! Scaling another set of turnbuckles, PRL smells the electricity in the Philips Arena. Jumping off the turnbuckles, PRL tosses his sunglasses and jacket aside, readying himself for battle. COLE Tha Puerto Rican with the deck stacked firmly against him. But you know what they say about a cornered animal being at it's most dangerous. The number one slot, the bounty, the heavy involvement of Corporate members... they might just end up empowering PRL here tonight! BUFFER And now, introducing the man who drew number two! A buzz cuts through the arena, as for a moment there's silence. PR's eyes are locked on the entrance way as he crouches down, waving the number two man on. COACH C'mon, Corp, Corp, Corp... "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment?" COACH Oh-ho... even BETTER!! "Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD powers out, as does Brock Ausstin with a cold look on his face. Brock does the 'Happy Happy Hoss Dance' in the aisle before heading right for a dejected PRL. BUFFER From Victoria, Minnessota... tonight, making his SIXTH consecutive Lethal Rumble appearance... "THE CURRENT BIG THING" in professional sports... BBRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOCK... AAAAAUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTIIIIIIIIIIIINN!!!! COLE Brock, a real Lethal Rumble veteran! He reached the final five in both 04 and 06! And in the past two years, he's eliminated a total of six men! COACH You're not going to be like this all night, are you? In one impressive leap, Brock jumps from the arena floor to the ring apron... but as soon as he steps inside the ring, he gets jumped by PRL!! *DINGDINGDING!* Realising he has to act and act quickly, PRL clubs away on Brock before he knows what's hit him. Forearm after forearm rains down on Brock, only stopped for the occassional kick to the ribs to go with it. That is until Brock suddenly muscles up and picks PRL over his shoulder, charging him back into a corner with a ring shaking shoulder drive!! COLE No surprise, Brock Ausstin coming out here in top gear. No holding back, no worries of conserving energy for later on. COACH And he's got two minutes, just him and PRL. Two minutes to bag himself a cool million! Trapped in the corner, PRL is too winded to do much except try and choke Brock out with a front facelock. Brock simply shrugs PR off though, before driving his shoulder into the ribs! And again! A third time, PRL falling against the bottom turnbuckle as Brock backs away doing his Happy Happy Hoss Dance again! "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" Sucking wind, Tha Puerto Rican uses the ropes to pull him up but soon regrets doing so as Brock comes charging back in with a clothesline to flatten him again. COLE Brock, 290 pounds of pure power! COACH Okay, calm down JR. COLE Brock pulls Tha Puerto Rican back to his feet. The moment he fills a hand sink around his neck though, PRL goes deadweight to the canvas refusing to be thrown over the top. Brock doesn't seem too concerned and nails PRL with a right hand. Away crawls Tha Puerto Rican into a corner, possibly luring Brock in as he catches him with a shot to the gut as he approaches. PRL then unloads with a succession of Rock style punches, the crowd roaring him on as he starts to back Brock up, step by step, getting him into the middle of the ring before kissin' the left... BLOCKED, Brock catching the arm and then scything PRL down with an STO!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" The Current Big Thing pulls himself back up and stomps away, while the Lethal Rumble Countdown begins in earnest for the first time. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" COLE We're about to get our third entrant here. "SEVEN!" "SIX!" Brock seems happy to bide his time now, picking PRL up only to drop him with another right hand. "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* A collective groan goes up as "Money Talks" hits and The Enterprise's CEO himself, Theodore Moneymaker, makes his second appearance of the night. COLE No wonder Moneymaker didn't look happy earlier on! COACH That's okay. It just gives him more of a chance to become even richer by eliminating PRL! Not that he needs it of course, but as the song says, Money Talks! The Billion Dollar Heir takes his time getting to the ring, watching the action in the ring carefully. Brock glances his way and Moneymaker waves for him to "carry on" while he slowly takes off his smoking jacket on the outside. COLE Now, Moneymaker had a match how long ago? Did he really need the jacket? COACH Spoke like a man with a distinct lack of class. As Moneymaker finally removes his entrance garb and walks up the steps, Brock has just whipped PRL into a corner and catches him bouncing out with a shoulder block. Brock then turns and makes a move towards Moneymaker, but the quick thinking Billion Dollar Heir backtracks around the ring, giving Brock the "money fingers" as he stalks after him. It doesn't take Brock long to get the message, especially when Moneymaker catches PRL coming off the mat, pinning his arms behind his back to give Ausstin a free shot. Which he takes. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Haha! Brilliant Teddy, brilliant. COLE Didn't take Theodore Moneymaker long to make friends in his first Lethal Rumble. COACH That's the power of money in full display right there. Moneymaker spins PRL around once Brock's had his shots, dropping The PR Menace with a hard uppercut. Turning to the crowd, Teddy then makes the "money fingers" taunt again with a braying laugh. Looking dazed, Tha Puerto Rican sits up but gets an elbow to the back of the head from Brock. Ausstin drops to a knee and locks on a front chancre, wearing PRL out yet further. As he does this though, Moneymaker walks around gloating... and suddenly RAKES BROCK'S FACE!! COACH Oh no Teddy, why!? MONEYMAKER THAT'S RIGHT! YOU STUPID PEONS BETTER REALISE, I'M THE MAN, I'M THE ONLY WINNE... Suddenly trailing off, Moneymaker realises Brock is stalking behind him and slowly turns around. His attempts to reason with Brock and remind him of the 'money' fail this time. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Realising his hope of reasoning with Brock is lost, he chops him. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Again! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third time. Brock just stands there and flexes his pecs, clearly not affected. So Teddy does the only thing he can... drops to his knees and begs for his life! COLE Oh yeah! Let's see where your money gets you now! By Moneymaker's curled locks Brock picks him up to his feet, punching the begging billionaire right in the face! Another punch lands. And a third, Brock then whipping Moneymaker into a corner. Brock follows after him with a big clothesline, sending spit flying into the seventh row on impact!! Teddy falls forward, held up by Brock, who pushes him back against the turnbuckles for some more shoulder charges, buried into the gut of Theodore and leaving him gasping for breath. Another irish whip sends Moneymaker corner to corner, Brock following in... and eating a raised knee from the resourceful Moneymaker! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As soon as the relieved Teddy brushes past Brock and exits the corner though, he walks right into a Puerto Rican clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Man, big knockdown by PRL. And look at this, going straight after Ausstin! With a grip around the tree trunk like thigh of Brock Ausstin, PR starts to try and muscle him of the mat and towards a possible elimination. He gets Brock to his feet and starts to tip him against the ropes, having trouble actually lifting him up at this point however. Meanwhile, the Lethal Rumble clock ticks it's way down again... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" PRL continues to try and muscle up Brock in this time. Getting to his feet, Moneymaker nurses his jaw and a bruised ego, but all the same realises the big threat and lends PRL a hand! "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" Once he realises they're getting nowhere fast though, Moneymaker turns around and pops PRL with a right hand... *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* ...and the smile returns to his face, as Jay Z's "Success" hits. COACH And this is great news for Theodore Moneymaker. CPA, in at #4! The Director Of Security for The Enterprise slowly makes his way to the ring, picking up a little speed once he sees Moneymaker laying the leather in on Brock Aussin. He hits the ring just as Brock starts fighting back with body shots, blindsighting Brock with a double axehandle to the back. COLE Well, as we said Theodore didn't look too pleased with his and CPA's draw earlier on. But although on paper #3 and #4 isn't great, with numbers so close together it could turn out to be a real stroke of luck, because it allows them to work together on the rest of the field. COACH Brilliant strategy, as always, from The Enterprise. COLE How is it 'brilliant strategy'!? They picked the number out of a tumbler at random! CPA and Moneymaker work over Brock, before Moneymaker peels away to catch PRL. A boot to the gut cuts him off and allows Moneymaker to turn around and throw him over the top... but Tha Puerto Rican grabs the top rope on the way towards them! With PRL hanging across the top, Moneymaker tries a couple of times to force him the rest of the way over, but to no avail as PRL kicks his feet back to safety. Teddy doesn't dwell on the disappointment for long though, pressing PR's throat against the middle rope and choking away. Behind him meanwhile, CPA starts to try and force Brock up and out. Moneymaker eventually spots this and comes over to help out his employee. COLE They've got Brock teetering here. Desperately hanging on, Brock is eventually saved by PRL who walks up and DOUBLE NOGGIN' KNOCKERS Moneymaker and CPA! COACH Now why did he do that!? COLE Well if Brock goes now, that leaves PRL alone with The Enterprise which wouldn't be a great situation to be in. In any walk of life. With his pick of three, PRL goes after the fresh man CPA with some kicks. Backing him into a corner PRL changes up to punches until he gets shoved away by the ex-boxer. Tha Puerto Rican rolls right through though, before catching CPA coming out of the corner with a standing dropkick. Moneymaker has Brock pounding away on him in the corner now as well. And he staggers out of the corner, walking into an Overhead Belly To Belly sending him flying across the ring! Both Enterprise members are down... at which point, Brock turns his attentions back to PRL, spinning him around and lifting him up for thr F-STUNNER-5! COACH YES! YES, DO IT! DO IT YOU BAH GAWD HOSS YOU! Tha Puerto Rican squirms around like a madman though, until he manages to slide off the shoulder and down the back! Brock turns around with a big swing of the arm. PRL ducks though, sweeping Brock's legs and putting the spine on the pine in the middle of the ring! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE We're not wasting any time tonight Coach! It looks like it may be time! COACH This is ridiculous, does he really have to do this in the middle of the Lethal Rumble of all places? PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Ausstin's face. He then does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Brock, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. S l o w i n g down, PRL then taunts Brock with his own interpretation of the 'Happy Happy Hoss Dance' before he drops The Puerto Rico Elbow to a big pop from the crowd! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here comes the Puerto Rican pain! Up jumps Tha Puerto Rican. But he doesn't have too much time to celebrate, as Theodore Moneymaker and CPA suddenly dive out from the proverbial weeds and pounce on PRL now that his theatrics are over with. COLE We're winding down again! Two men have won from #5 in the past, will this man be able to make it three? "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH MY GOD! Atlanta truly becomes HOTlanta as there's a positive eruption for BOHEMOTH! COLE One of the odds-on favourites, a man on a real hot streak! The Meterosexual Monster jogs to the ring, prompting Moneymaker to pull CPA off of PRL and get him ready to meet the fellow bigman. COLE The roof has blown off of this place! And the ring may get blown apart any second! Sliding in, Bo gets to his feet just in time to meet CPA, stunning him with a right hand. Bo quickly drops Moneymaker with a big right. A shot to the back of PRL. A right hand for Brock, sending him staggering into a corner. In rushes CPA with his hands clenched for a double axehandle, but he runs into a boot to the gut. Bo then unloads on the Directory Of Security with right after right until Allen is out on his feet, a quick shove in the chest creating space for Bohemoth to take a step back and knock CPA down with a clothesline!! COACH Woah! COLE Down goes CPA, Bohemoth is rolling! As Bo fires up, Brock comes charging at him but suffers the same fate as CPA, clotheslined to the canvas. Unlike CPA though, Brock is immediately hauled back up and pitched by the head, over the top... and to the apron only, Brock able to save himself on the way over! COLE A close call for Brock, he's a big, powerful guy but he's also got the agility and athleticism to catch himself like that and avoid an elimination. Bohemoth seems unaware of Brock's save, as he picks a new target. Picking himself up, around staggers PRL, unaware of what's waiting behind him as he gets goozled by The Meterosexual Monster!! Suddenly the crowd don't know what to do, a good proportion going from roaring Bohemoth on to screaming at him not to do it... as he gorilla presses Tha Puerto Rican high over his head! COLE Bohemoth's got PRL! COACH YES! THROW HIM! COLE This is about the bounty, this is about AngleMania VII! COACH Throw him out Bo, what loyalty do you have to him!? None! None at all! Whether Bo was planning to throw PRL just down or down and out we'll never know however, as over sneaks Theodore Moneymaker to kick Bohemoth right in the back of the knee! Bohemoth crumbles and PRL comes down hard next to him, as Moneymaker stomps away at whatever he can get his feet to. COACH Ah, Tha Puerto Rican dodged a real bullet right there. He was gone and he knew it! Moneymaker leaves Bo and PRL in order to take care of his security, or more specifically his Director Of Security as he helps him back to his feet. No orders needed, the raging Allen marching over and putting a beatdown on Bohemoth while Moneymaker quickly jabs Brock in the throat with his palm before going back over to Tha Puerto Rican. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing and the first Corporation entrant of the 2008 Lethal Rumble, Vitamin X, runs out to boos. COACH Alright! Here comes the man who's going to eliminate PRL, and that's a money back guarantee, HAHA! X slides in and quickly avoids contact with Brock Ausstin. Instead he rushes over to Theodore Moneymaker, who doesn't take too much convincing to hand over control of PRL to instead help out CPA in his attack on Bohemoth. COLE Well, judging by my stopwatch Vitamin X has already fared better than he did last year. COACH Oh don't bring that up! Prince Vitamin stomps away on his former mentor, unsurprisingly badmouthing PRL in the process. As Moneymaker and CPA disappear off with Bohemoth in tow, with clear intention to throw him out across the ring, X then pulls PRL up. With an MMA style clinch X holds PRL in place while he drives a trio of hard knees into his midsection. X then releases the clinch and insultingly SLAPS Tha Puerto Rican in the back of the head... which could prove a mistake, as it fuels PRL into spearing Vitamin X down and mounting him with some lefts and rights! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" As X cowers and tries to cover up under the attack, Bohemoth is suddenly hoisted up across the top turnbuckle to screams from the Atlanta fans! COLE Look out, Bohemoth is on the verge right now... as PRL continues to wail away on Vitamin X! Wrapping his arms around the top ring rope, Bohemoth refuses to go over despite the combined efforts of CPA and Theodore Moneymaker. Re-entering the mix now is Brock Ausstin, grabbing a hold of PRL as he simply chokes the life out of Vitamin X. Brock gutwrenches PRL and picks him up onto his shoulder, rotating 180, before drilling him into the canvas with a brutal Powerbomb! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As a spluttering Vitamin X looks up to the heavens and thanks the big man upstairs for saving him, the bigman downstairs known as Brock Ausstin gives him something to be less thankful about, grabbing hold of X's legs and deadlifting him off his back... into a Powerbomb of his very own!! COLE Good lord what power! COACH No kidding. With Bohemoth coming in, I think everybody forgot about Brock... big mistake! Bohemoth picks this point to save himself, reaching out and punching CPA in the head with a free hand. Moneymaker keeps the pressure on as Bo comes back to safe ground though, leaving Brock to take over on CPA, while the Lethal Rumble countdown winds on in the background... "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" COLE This is entrant number seven... *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 hits, a loud screech of female approval accompanying out "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant of D*LUX! Jade Rodez leads her man out, leaving him with some last words of advice halfway to the ring before he sprints into the fray. COLE Another Lethal Rumble debutant, one third of the Six Man Tag Team Champions, Tyler Bryant! COACH And he's in there with the big boys right now, literally and figuratively. Tyler pops to his feet and heads straight after Theodore Moneymaker, no surprise there. Understanding the issue, Bohemoth steps aside and lets Tyler UNLOAD on a shocked Moneymaker with furious right hands in the corner! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" With the fans going wild for that, Bohemoth looks around for another fight and decides to interject himself into CPA and Brock's slugfest. As punches go back and forth, a makeshift team forms between Brock and Bo against Allen. In the other corner, Tyler sends Moneymaker scurrying for cover, following him across the ring and ramming his head into the top turnbuckle opposite. COLE He's paying for his sins right now. Maybe after the crap he pulled on Thursday night it wasn't too wise for Theodore Moneymaker to step into a match with 29 other members of the OAOAST roster. COACH You're dead wrong Michael. It's 28. CPA is still in there. COLE Of course, how silly of me. Picking themselves up, PRL and Vitamin X unsurprisingly go back after each other with a little less venom than before after their respective powerbombs. PRL is landing all the punches though and has Vitamin X regretting some of his recent actions no doubt. After a succession of lefts, X gets desperate and grabs onto the waistband of PRL's tights and drags him through the ropes and to the floor! Some of the dumber fans shout out for a second thinking PR is gone, but are soon laughed down while 'Prince Vitamin' follows after PRL despite the protests of the referees around the ring. COLE PRL went through the ropes and not over the top, he's not eliminated. And neither is Vitamin X. COACH Yeah, let's get our priorities straight for the people! Back in the ring, a thumb to the eye frees Theodore Moneymaker from Tyler Bryant's attentions. He quickly gets away and backs into a neutral corner, watching on as Brock suddenly wheels Bohemoth around and lifts him up onto the shoulders. Caught by surprise, Bohemoth gets spun into the F-STUNNER-5~!!1!!!1 dead centre in the middle of the ring!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" Brock lets out a cry of dominance, Tyler Bryant finding himself next in his crosshairs. As Brock charges him however, Tyler manages to sidestep, Brock's attempted shoulder charge taking him shoulder first into the middle turnbuckle! Moneymaker decides the coast is clear and he and CPA quickly drag Bohemoth off the canvas, moving him over to the ropes and attempting to throw him out! "TEN!" "NINE!" COLE We're winding down again and Bohemoth is in trouble! "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" As Bohemoth clings on for dear life, Tyler rushes at Brock and cracks him in the back of the head with the Shining Enziguri! "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" Brock is clearly dazed but doesn't really go 'down'. Neither too is Bohemoth just yet, but now only one leg hangs in the ring and he is perilously close to being dumped. "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Getting Away With Murder" hits and a HUGE cheer goes up for last year's winner, ZACK MALIBU, sprinting at full speed towards the ring!! COLE You better believe business has picked up!! Sliding headlong into the ring, Zack shrugs off Brock... *SMACK!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and KOs Tyler Bryant with SCHOOL'S OUT!!! COLE That's one! Zack quickly runs across the ring and pulls in Theodore Moneymaker, unloading on him with a blitz of right hands to the delight of the Atlanta crowd! This also allows Bohemoth to right himself back into the ring, turning around and slugging CPA in the face. Moneymaker is reeling all over the place, as Brock Ausstin suddenly sprints across the ring, catching Bohemoth as he turns around... NO, Bohemoth ducks his head and backdrops Brock over the top and to the floor!! COLE There goes our first elimination! Brock Ausstin got caught with his hand in the cookie jar! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BROCK AUSSTIN Entered: 2nd Left: 1st Time of participation: 12:36 Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Bohemoth Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Theodore Moneymaker, CPA, Bohemoth, Tyler Bryant, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Turning his attentions, Bohemoth picks up the lifeless Tyler Bryant from beneath his feet. Across the ring Theodore Moneymaker has suddenly got Zack in trouble as he locks him in the BANK VAULT! But Zack uses momentum to his advantage, rushing towards the turnbuckles and ducking his head to send Moneymaker face-first into the top turnbuckle pad! COLE This is chaos now, we've got action all over the ring, action OUTSIDE the ring... By the hair and the seat of his pants, Bohemoth walks Tyler around the ring, picking his side before hurling him high up and over the top!! COACH Bodies are flying! As soon as Tyler hits the ringside pads, he's joined on the other side of the ring by Theodore Moneymaker, clotheslined up and OUT by Zack to a roar of approval! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And there goes another!! There may not be a more popular elimination all night than that one, Theodore Moneymaker, gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TYLER BRYANT ENTERED: 7th LEFT: 2nd TIME IN RING: 2:49 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THEODORE MONEYMAKER ENTERED: 2nd LEFT: 3rd TIME IN RING: 10:51 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, CPA, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With PRL and Vitamin X brawling into the CROWD now with a referee in tow, we are left with just three actually in the confines of the ring. Bohemoth stands back as he sees Zack Malibu loading up the boot. Stomps ring out through the rest of the arena as Zack measures CPA, busy talking to Theodore Moneymaker from inside the ring. COACH Oh no, turn around, turn around! Giving the same exact message, Moneymaker finally gets CPA to do just that... *SMACK!!* ...and ends up with CPA dumped on top of him, courtesy of some SCHOOL'S OUT action!! COLE Unbelievable! CPA is gone, which leaves us with... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CPA ENTERED: 4th LEFT: 4th TIME IN RING: 9:19 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hands on hips, Bohemoth waits for Zack to quit playing around with the fans and turn around. The moment he does a roar goes up, as Zack realises the ring is clear but for his old buddy Bohemoth. With PRL and Vitamin X still off in the distance doing battle, the showdown everybody wanted to see is about to happen as Bo and Zack square up to each other. "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "BO!" "ZACK!" "BO!" "ZACK!" Those fans that aren't busy avoiding getting in PRL and Vitamin X's way are split roughly 50/50 between the two popular superstars. Finally, Zack is the first to strike... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...cracking Bohemoth with a knifedge chop. A right hand from Bo soon convinces Zack not to try that again though, going low and shooting for the legs. Bohemoth is marched back into a corner but as soon as Zack goes to lift him, Bo reaches down and strikes Malibu with a hard shot to the ribs. Away retreats Zack, giving himself a moment to catch his breath before leaping up and catching Bohemoth coming towards him with a jumping forearm smash. COLE Man, I almost don't know what to say here! COACH That's a good thing. COLE Well I'll say this, we're under ten seconds before someone else joins this battle! Zack continues to throw the forearms from underneath, until a knee catches him back in the ribs again. Scooping Zack up, Bohemoth attempts a slam, possibly even an elimination, but Zack escapes down the back and executes a Russian Legsweep! "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHHAAAHHHHAAAHAAAHHHHHAAHH..." "OOOHHHOOOHOOOHHHHOOOOOHHHHOOOOHHHH..." *VVWWWWWOOOOSSHHHHHH!* Two giant WIND MACHINES are suddenly wheeled out in front of the stage and slammed on, drowning out "The Earth Song", almost knocking poor Theodore Moneymaker off his feet as he skulks off backstage and pushing against the entering Biff Atlas!! COLE You have got to be kidding me. Picking themselves off the mat, Zack and Bohemoth are both distracted by the sound of the wind turbines and don't instantly go back after each other. Zack instead watches on in bemusement as the OAOAST's Environmental Activist Biff Atlas slides into the ring, immediately zeroing in on Zack and attacking him with right hands! COLE Uh... anyway... Biff Atlas, in his first Lethal Rumble. And I don't think we've ever seen an entrance quite like that before in the Lethal Rumble. COACH No doubt, that was some hot shit right there. Zack soon fights off the former member of NRG, ducking a wild clothesline attempt and popping him with a German Suplex! Looking down at Biff, Zack then just throws his hands aside and goes back after Bohemoth. The bigman catches him coming though and scoops him up into his arms, at first seemingly for an Erotic Awakening, but then for an elimination as he turns towards the ropes! Zack grabs hold of the top rope and clings on for all he's worth while Bo digs in trying to get some traction to muscle Zack out. COLE The reigning champion is in trouble! COACH They're both in trouble in this position. Look at Biff! Spotting his ultimate chance, Biff Atlas shakes his head around to check he's not seeing things after that German, before rushing across the ring and grabbing onto Bohemoth's leg... ...and not moving him any more than a couple of inches. COLE Oh dear. Bohemoth rolls his eyes, dropping Zack who rolls out of the way while Biff continues to try and deadlift Bohemoth. Reaching down, Bohemoth pulls Biff off of him and upright... leans back and SLAMS the flat of his boot into his face, all with the same, nonchalant facial expression! COACH OH! UNCOOL! COLE Three words. Ho. Ly. Crap. As Biff looks up at the lights, Bohemoth looks over to Zack and mouths the words "do you mind?". Zack just shrugs and tells him to go ahead. So he does, peeling Biff off the mat and flipping him out to the floor. COLE Biff just got dumped like yesterday's garbage. Recycled, one would assume. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BIFF ATLAS ENTERED: 9th LEFT: 5th TIME IN RING: 1:14 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With that distraction behind us, it's back to Zack and Bo. A little more cagey now the two inch towards each other trying to time their next move a little more wisely. After a few fakes Zack shoots low for a leg again. Bohemoth manages to grab the head, but Zack torques on the knee to take the 6'7, 284 pounder down to the canvas. As this is going on, the camera cuts into the audience where all the noise is coming from, the fans cheering on PRL as he grabs a cup of beer from a fan and smashes it into the face of Prince Vitamin! Drenched, X picks his way through the fans trying to get away, with PRL hot on his tail. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE And with the entry of number ten, we'll be a third of the way through this year's Lethal Rumble! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Here comes my pick! As "Megalomaniac" blares through the arena, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix strolls out with a typical confident smile on his face. The leader of the new Cucaracha Internacional poses his way down the aisle, as in the ring Zack and Bo continue to battle for control. COLE Last year's runner-up, the two-time winner of the SWF's Clusterfuck... and he's in no hurry to get into that ring with Zack Malibu and Bohemoth for company. COACH And why should he be? Look what happened to Biff. Landon reaches ringside and stares on as Zack applies a leglock on the mat. Having heard the buzzer, Zack is on his guard and looks out for the next entrant, locking eyes with Landon as he stalls for time on the outside. Zack dares him to come and join the party... and the distraction allows Bohemoth to kick him in the chest with his free leg! Away rolls Malibu, while Bo hobbles up, cheered on from the outside by Maddix who tells him he's doing "a great job". COLE When Landon finally gets into the ring, we're going to have three of the odds-on favourites in there, not to mention another one brawling somewhere in the crowd and officially still in this match. COACH And let's not forget PRL either! COLE I was referring to PRL. COACH Then what about Vitamin X? COLE I wouldn't call him an 'odds-on favourite'. Although if he spends much more time running around this arena with his tail between his legs, I might just have to change my opinion! Backed up in the corner, Zack is subjected to some shoulder charges from the bigman Bohemoth. This allows Landon Maddix to slide unnoticed into the ring, standing and waiting for Bo to turn around before encouraging him to whip Zack towards him. But when Bohemoth instead starts to walk towards him with fists balled, Landon promptly bails out of the ring and asks for some more preparation time. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Bohemoth goes back after Zack, pulling him out of the corner and setting him for a running powerslam. As he charges across the ring though Bo loses his grip on The Franchise, who escapes out the back door and grabs a waistlock, looking for a German on the big guy! Bohemoth breaks the fingers apart and turns behind Zack, throwing him into the ropes. Underneath a clothesline goes Zack though, springing up off the middle rope and twisting into a crossbody to take Bohemoth down! COLE Great move by Zack. COACH But it's not going to eliminate someone. If anything, it's going to risk you tumbling ass overhead and looking like an idiot when you hit the floor. As Zack starts to pull himself up, Landon picks his spot as he dives into the ring and boots Zack in the back of the head! The kicks keep on coming, until Bohemoth starts to pick himself up. Landon spots him too late and eats a big right hand, knocking him for a loop and sending him scurrying for the safety of the bottom rope. That allows Bo to go back to work on Zack, as the countdown winds down once more... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!" Proclaiming victory before he's barely through the curtain, Synth Esizer leads The Heavenly Rockers' charge in the Lethal Rumble. COACH The hits just keep on coming! In slides Synth, his confidence taking a huge dent the moment Bohemoth's fist pops him in the mouth I'm sure! Synth pops right back up to take the fight to Bo though, even if he doesn't fare so well. COLE And this is Synth's first Lethal Rumble, believe it or not. He was supposed to enter back in 2006 of course but got jumped on his way to the ring by Reject and was unable to take any further part. He's in this year though, to the delight of... well, few. COACH You're an ass, you know that? As Bohemoth works away on Synth, Maddix emerges from the corner and picks up where Bo had left off on Zack. Picking Zack up, Landon snapmares him right back down to the canvas and kicks him HARD in the base of the spine! Around writhes Zack... even more so when a second kick lands. Bohemoth has Synth in trouble in the corner by now. Spotting this, Maddix jumps onto the middle rope behind Bo and gouges away at the eyes while Synth pulls himself back inside. *THUD!* COLE Well, there's Vitamin X. Having been hurled over the barricade, X lands with the above thud on the arena floor with PRL climbing over the barrier after him. Still referee Mike Chioda is desperately trying to convince them both to get back into the ring, PRL threatening to take a backhand swipe at him to send him scurrying for cover. COLE Vitamin X is carrying the can for the Corporation right now. He put the bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican, I wonder if this beating is going to be worth the $1,000,000? COACH It will be, so long as PRL is eliminated. That's all that matters. COLE That's a little short-sighted from Popick's point of view though, surely? He should be worried about whoever it is that wins the Rumble, no matter who that may be. COACH And he will. Once PRL is gone. As PRL stalks X on the floor, in the ring Landon has Bohemoth tied up, allowing Synth to take some free shots. Landon follows them up with a straight kick to the chest which echoes around the arena. Smugly Maddix poses with arms outstretched, Synth also playing to the crowd... both taking their eye off the ball and paying for it, as Zack charges from behind and grabs them both by the hair, pitching them over the top... AND TO THE APRON, both Landon and Synth able to save themselves by the skins of their teeth!! Certainly a close call though. Zack quickly stomps Maddix in an attempt to knock him to the floor on the second attempt, but Landon is judged safely back by the referees on the floor. As Synth climbs back in, Bohemoth clubs him with a right hand. And in the background to all this, Vitamin X is finally thrown back into the ring by PRL, only to catch PR sliding in with a cheapshot to the back of the head! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits, bringing out one half of the World Tag Team Champions, Baron Windels! COLE Here comes a hot slice of Texan right here! COACH I... yeah. In slides Baron, attempting to make a beeline for Synth but getting sidetracked by Vitamin X dodging past him. The man he was dodging from, PRL, attempts to do the same. But Baron lays him out with a right hand as soon as he gets near him. PRL sits up dazed and Baron moves on to the next target, allowing Prince Vitamin to pounce on PR and choke at him with his bare hands. COLE Baron was in action earlier on and along with Jock Mulligan, retained possession of the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. Will pulling double duty tonight have an effect on him though? Baron comes to the accidental rescue of Landon Maddix, as he clubs Zack in the back with a forearm. A right hand then clubs Landon anyway, before Baron tries to get underneath Zack and tip him out of the Rumble. Shaking out the cobwebs, Landon decides to try and tip Baron in response, which puts both the Gunslinger and The Franchise in a precarious position over the ropes! Across the ring, Synth rears back with a right hand across the bridge of the nose that has Bohemoth staggering backwards. But as he charges at Bohemoth, the bigman launches Synth skywards and lets him to fall to the mat with a Flapjack! COLE Synth was in the lights right there! Faced with the sight of Zack and Baron teetering at the hands of Landon, Bohemoth looks unsure of what to do. So he settles instead for Vitamin X, grabbing him by the collar and causing him to freak out. COACH Oh no! COLE There's a lot of history here! Vitamin X was responsible for putting Bohemoth out of commission back at School's Out in Hell In A Cell! COACH A few months ago you were blaming PR! Stop changing your mind... X was just following orders, he... he didn't know better... please put him down! Bohemoth obliges, putting X down, down into the mat with a Front SPINEBUSTER~! The X-Man's head bounces off the mat and he rolls around, while Bohemoth now picks up PRL. COLE I don't think Bohemoth's waiting to hear sides of the story. He's condemning them both to guilt. As Bohemoth pulls Tha Puerto Rican up though, PRL gets a sudden second wind. Jumping out of Bohemoth's grasp, he spins around, catching the head and hitting the Lightning Strike on the bigman! A mixed reaction goes up as PRL weakly sits up and looks pleased with himself. COLE PRL has been in... well, I say 'in', he's spent a while brawling around the arena too... but he's been alive in this Lethal Rumble for over twenty minutes now. And he's going to need to call on all of his reserves to make it to the end. Over in the corner, Baron and Zack have staved off elimination for the moment and Landon is sent to the canvas off a Cowboy Bebop elbow from the big Texan. Synth rushes over and blindsights Baron a second later. But his attack on his arch rival is cut off by Zack Malibu, pulling Synth away and attempting to dump him out of the Rumble! Synth gets his foot hooked around the bottom rope and hangs on, as we count down again... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* Once again the crowd are on their feet, as "Rock The Casbah" strikes up and out jogs Leon Rodez! COLE A great reaction for Leon Rodez, in at number thirteen! Will this be the year Leon finally makes the next step and challenges for the World Title? Into the ring comes Leon, met on entry by PRL. Immediately they launch at each other with a high tempo exchange of right hands in the centre of the ring that has the fans going crazy! Landon walks over to get involved but a right hand fells him, before Leon suddenly moves forward on PRL and looks for an irish whip. A reversal from Tha Puerto Rican sends Rodez in instead, but a drop of the head is mis-timed, allowing Rodez to put on the brakes and take PRL overhead with an Exploder Suplex! COLE That's going to do PRL no favours. Leon climbs back up, knocking Landon down with another right hand and shrugging as if to say 'keep walking into me and I'm gonna keep punching you, genius'. Leon then spots Zack still trying to eliminate Synth Esizer and rushes over to help his sometimes tag partner out. COLE The ring beginning to fill up a little again now. And a lot of big names, potential AngleMania main-eventers for sure, in there. COACH No doubt. You've got two former World Champions, two guys like Bohemoth and PRL who've been challenging for a while now, a guy like Leon who's got the potential to step up... and Prince Vitamin! Still Synth is hanging on, as Baron grabs a hold of Landon and reels him in by the arm. A boot to the gut doubles him up, setting him up for an irish whip... sending him into Vitamin X, who having just pulled himself up in the corner gets sandwiched against the turnbuckles. Synth finally escapes the attentions of The (former?) Usual Suspects behind Baron and weaves away, catching Baron moving in on Maddix and Vitamin X and chopblocking his right knee out from underneath him! With Synth down to attack the knee of Baron, Landon goes backwards, cracking Vitamin X with an elbow to the jaw and dropping him in the turnbuckles. COACH Woah woah, look at this! Zack and Leon! Attention turns to the good friends who have gotten into the every man for himself spirit of the Lethal Rumble and are suddenly grappling against the ropes, trying to get an elimination on one another. COLE There are no friends in the Lethal Rumble. COACH Yeah, especially not when one of them got beat a couple of weeks ago by the other! COLE Keep reaching Coach. Landon stomps away on Bohemoth as he tries to get to his feet, wisely realising it'd be smart to keep the biggest man in the match down. Next to him Synth is working over the knee of Baron Windels still, La Cucaracha happy to leave him to it as he now chokes Bo against the bottom rope. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" COLE We will have nine men in the ring, the most we've had so far, in under ten. "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!" Flying out of the traps comes the second member of The Heavenly Rockers, Logan Mann! Trailing behind him is Holly-Wood, with no intentions of turning back. COLE Here comes some help for Synth, although he's looking pretty good right now. Maybe it's for that reason that Logan first goes after Zack and Leon. He slides in and works over the midsection of Malibu with his patented jabs, before taking Leon over into a corner and throwing him face-first into the top turnbuckle. COACH Man, Logan looks fired up tonight. He's taking everything that moves, kinda like a night on the Heavenly Rocker tour bus! COLE Or so you've heard. COACH Hey, Da Coach is the only guy under 60 with a bus pass, if you know what I'm saying! Now Logan searches out his partner, Synth Esizer with a hold of the leg of Baron Windels. Logan dives from across the ring with an elbow drop to the inside of the knee, before exchanging a double high-five with his tag team partner. After some quick consultation, The Heavenly Rockers pick up the hobbling Baron and shoot him into the ropes with a double irish whip. But Logan and Synth duck their heads and pay for it, in a big way, with a Double DDT from the Tag Team Champion!! Holly-Wood, who has refused to leave and is staying at ringside, holds her head in shock. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE A little bit of Percussion treatment for The Heavenly Rockers! And Holly looks on in despair... I thought managers were barred from ringside this year? COACH She's not a manager, she's a devoting wife. Big difference. Stepping over the bodies, Bohemoth drags Vitamin X up in the corner and lands a big right hand. Only the ropes hold X up, prompting Bohemoth to grab a leg and go for the elimination. PRL has a hold of Landon meanwhile, also aiming to put him out of the match. The action is all in the middle of the ring meanwhile, as Baron is suddenly spun around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chopped in the chest, to his surprise, by Leon Rodez! Leon attempts to charge Baron into the ropes after that. Moving the muscular Texan proves a tougher prospect than he thought though, earning him a Cowboy Bebop elbow to the back of the neck. COLE Oooh. Right to the neck and Leon simply crumbled after that shot, he's had neck problems in the past let's not forget. Infact they kept him out of last year's Lethal Rumble, if I remember correctly. COACH Do you have to process EVERY thought out loud? In moves Logan to move Baron the rest of the way back. He'll get no help from Synth at the moment though, as Zack takes him by the wrist and sends him to the ropes with an irish whip. Synth hangs on however and encourages Zack towards him. In rushes Zack, to a dip of the head from Synth... VERY telegraphed, Zack booting Synth in the shoulder blade, sending up and over the to... NO, Synth does go over the top, but comes back out the other side and landing safely in the ring! COLE Wow, Synth got really lucky right there! Zack quickly gets out of the way as Vitamin X is sent corner to corner by Bohemoth. The Meterosexual Monster then makes a charge towards him... but X dodges out of the way, causing Bo to crash sternum first into the turnbuckles! Down he goes, as X backs away looking mighty relieved. Relief that turns to dread, as he walks into a waistlock and a quick German Suplex from Zack! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The fans pop for the prospect of more Germans. As Zack drags X back up in the waistlock though, Synth catches him in a Sleeper! Little does X know this though, still panicking about a second German Suplex. Reaching back for the head, VX sits out, hitting a Jawbreaker on Zack... which in turn drags Synth into the same fate!! COACH Look at that, Vitamin X is taking them on two at a time! What a man! COLE ...here comes another entrant. "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" COLE Number fifteen, the halfway point here in the Lethal Rumble! "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Renegade" by Jay Z and Eminem hits and out runs Reject, to a chorus of boos. COLE It's the former International Champion, Reject! Picking up pace, Reject slides headlong into the ring and quickly catches Zack with the EULOGY~!!! COACH BOOM! That's how you make an impact in the Lethal Rumble! Popping right back to his feet, Reject measures Synth... and hits him with the EULOGY~!!!! as well! Vitamin X doesn't escape either, spun around and dropped with the EULOGY~!!!! Reject still isn't done though. With PRL still trying to oust Landon and Baron and Logan jockeying for position in the corner, Reject focuses instead on Bohemoth. Still winded from hitting the turnbuckles earlier, Bohemoth staggers into the middle of the ring. Reject quickly sets, the crowd warning Bohemoth to watch out. A warning he doesn't heed, as Reject leaps up and snatches him into the EULOGY~!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reject stands tall in the middle of the ring and poses amongst the boos. COLE Bohemoth has been in there 20 minutes plus now. And Reject, the fresh man, has come in and changed the face of this Lethal Rumble! COACH No doubt, there's a lot of tired bodies out there and Reject is picking them off one by one! Next on the hitlist is Leon Rodez, pulling himself up. Reject crouches down and waits for Leon to walk his way, The Silky Smooth One still favouring his neck as Reject leaps and hits another EULO... NO!! Leon manages to shove Reject off into the ropes! Back rebounds Reject, ducking underneath a clothesline attempt and swinging a Spinning Heel Kick towards the back of his head. Sensing danger, Leon drops down, Reject whiffing on the kick and caught off balance for a moment. He recovers, throwing a roundhouse kick. But Rodez ducks again and catches Reject from behind for a back suplex, spinning it around into the Blue Thunder Bomb!! COLE It's Da Boom~! Both Reject and Leon stay down now, leaving just four of ten on their feet. Make that three as Logan chokes Baron down in the corner. Landon has fought off PRL now and is trying to hoist him by the tights up and over the top, to wails from PR's people. COLE Halfway through and we've got a lot of the big guns in the mix at the moment. Plenty more still to come too. Todd Cortez, 2006 winner Alfdogg! And let's not forget the man who won the Corporate Lethal Rumble this past Thursday, The Mad Cappa! COACH Oh that doesn't mean anything. COLE That's not what you were saying Thursday night. COACH Yes, but that was before The Mad Cappa won it, at which point it immediately became meaningless. The EULOGYed stars start picking themselves up, with Zack putting the boots to Vitamin X while Synth staggers over to a safer position, helping out Logan in beating down Baron. Holly-Wood is around at the corner screaming encouragement to The Heavenly Rockers. Back up too is Leon, taking Reject into a corner and stomping away. Over comes Landon though, dropkicking Leon in the back, forcing him into Reject in the turnbuckles and dropping them both. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" COACH I bet somewhere, Popick's screaming at someone to go after PRL. "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" COACH I know I am! "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Thriller" hits again, for the second half of the Tag Champions, Jock Mulligan! Jock rushes to the aid of his tag team partner, as Melody Nerdly marches with a purpose to ringside. COACH Now what is she doing!? There's no managers at ringside! COLE She's the Manager Of The Year, maybe that gives her special privileges? COACH Bunk! Utter bunk! Jock wails away on both Logan and Synth to the delight of the fans, dropping them both with right hands. A scoop and a slam plants Logan Mann. And a scoop and a slam too for Synth. Picking himself out of the corner, Baron thanks his partner quickly, before The 'Slingers take The Rockers and pair off. Baron brawls with Synth, while Jock and Synth slug it out. COLE This battle has been raging for months, The Lone Star Gunslingers and The Heavenly Rockers and it's showing no signs of cooling down any time soon! Stalking around, trying to pick his spot, Landon decides against getting involved between the two warring teams and goes after Bohemoth again instead. Bo is choked against the bottom rope by Maddix, pinning his foot in the back of the head. As Bohemoth fights for breath, Reject comes over and joins in with a foot of his own, making an uneasy truce to work on the biggest man and biggest threat in the pack. Another uneasy truce forms next to them, Zack and PRL stomping dual mudholes into the chest of a begging Vitamin X. That is until PRL suddenly turns around and jams a thumb in Zack's eye, sending him staggering away blindly. COLE Approaching a half an hour for PRL and he's still fighting, not backing down from anyone. COACH Yeah but he's tired. You can see it in his body language, he's beginning to feel the strain. Meanwhile, The Gunslingers combine on The Heavenly Rockers, finding enough space in the crowded ring to set up stereo irish whips. Both Logan and Synth reverse the momentum however and duck their heads for backdrops. Jock and Baron respond with boots to the shoulder blades and go for stereo clotheslines. Both Logan and Synth duck the lines though and Jock and Baron go charging into the ropes. Realising their position they quickly stop at the ropes, turning around into boots, doubling them over as The Heavenly Rockers throw up the TWIRLING FINGERS OF DEATH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Synth and Logan snatch hold of Baron and Jock by the head, Holly-Wood already cheering. Logan quickly spikes Baron down with the PERCUSSION DDT... but Synth wastes too much time and gets backdropped by Jock, ALL THE WAY OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" COACH AH! COLE And Synthamania will not run wild in the main-event of AngleMania! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SYNTH ESIZER ENTERED: 11th LEFT: 6th TIME IN RING: 11:33 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Jock Mulligan LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Baron Windels, Leon Rodez, Logan Mann, Reject, Jock Mulligan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan pounces on Jock immediately, while Synth flies into a rage on the outside! Referees go scattering as Synth suddenly makes a dive to get back into the ring, managing to get a few shots to the kidneys on Jock as he's backed into the ropes by Logan, before the referees manage to pull him back. COACH Man, Synth has lost it! COLE It's fair to say he's got a pretty short fuse at the best of times. As Melody makes the point that Synth should take a walk, that gets Holly all riled up as well, causing the girls to go face to face! COACH See, this is why managers are supposed to be in the backsta... Suddenly, the still raging Synth spots Holly and Melody being held apart by the referee and runs over, GRABBING MELODY BY THE HAIR AND YELLING RIGHT INTO HER FACE!!!! COLE HEY! HEY, COME ON NOW! "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" The referees try and pleads with Synth let Melody go, still holding him by the hair. Neither Jock or Baron are in any position to see what's going on or do anything about it... as Synth places her in a front facelock, threatening to DDT her on the floor! "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" COLE Don't do this Synth, come on! "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Like The Angels" fires up and MARV of The Christ Air Express bursts through the curtain. Already getting a head of steam up on his way to the ring, MARV suddenly breaks into a full sprint as he sees his sister in danger, Synth backing up down the aisle towards the exposed concrete in the aisle... and THANKFULLY getting clattered to the ground by MARV before he can follow through with his threats! COLE Thank god for MARV! MARV goes crazy on Synth, clubbing away at him as things continue to spill out of control on the outside. Beaten against the guardrail, Synth reaches out and headbutts MARV in the gut to buy himself time to get away. MARV rushes right after him though, chasing The Synthmestier around the ring! COACH Leave him alone, he's not even in the match! COLE What!? With MARV still hot on his heels, Synth takes a detour and slides back into the ring. He immediately slides out the other side and back to the floor, while MARV scrambles to his feet... ...and gets backdropped out by Logan Mann!! COACH See! I told him he should have left Synth alone! COLE Agh! That stinks. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARV ENTERED: 17th LEFT: 7th TIME 'IN RING': 0:19 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Logan Mann ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Logan gloats over the elimination of MARV however, The Lone Star Gunslingers link arms behind him and run into Logan from behind, a double clothesline sending him up, over and OUT!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now that's not fair! COLE That's karma! Logan got exactly what he deserved right there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOGAN MANN ENTERED: 14th LEFT: 8th TIME 'IN RING': 6:26 ELIMINATED: MARV ELIMINATED BY: Baron Windels, Jock Mulligan LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Baron Windels, Leon Rodez, Reject, Jock Mulligan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Extra officials have piled out from the back to keep The Heavenly Rockers apart from MARV and Melody, which is easier said than done. Logan is furious and The Gunslingers are distracted by the chaos on the floor, as both Logan and Synth are dragged away by the large number of official bodies. Seeing this out of the corner of his eye is Landon Maddix, tapping Reject on the shoulder as he boots away at Bohemoth. And as Jock and Baron try to make sure Melody is okay, which she insists she is, Reject and Landon rush up behind them and pitch them both to the floor!! COLE The opportunists, Maddix and Reject, they really picked their spot there. And we are down to seven in the ring now. As, thankfully, The Heavenly Rockers are being hauled out of here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JOCK MULLIGAN ENTERED: 16th LEFT: 9th TIME 'IN RING': 2:51 ELIMINATED: Synth Esizer, Logan Mann (co) ELIMINATED BY: Landon Maddix ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BARON WINDELS ENTERED: 12th LEFT: 10th TIME 'IN RING': 10:52 ELIMINATED: Logan Mann (co) ELIMINATED BY: Reject LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez, Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reject and Landon look proud of themselves and Reject gets a pat on the back for his efforts. The makeshift duo then go right back after Bohemoth... who, back on his feet, meets and greets them with a big-time double clothesline that wipes them both out! Reaching down, Bohemoth picks up Maddix and tosses him aside, sending him flying over the top rope... and ALMOST out, Landon's feet hovering over the ground for a second or so before he uses his grip on the top and middle ropes to pull himself back from the brink!! COLE Wow, Maddix was that close to going. And after all of the claims and guarantees he's been making about winning the Lethal Rumble this year, he's got a lot of hype to live up to. Into a corner retreats Landon. Bohemoth meanwhile looks for an opponent and finds Leon Rodez walking out of a corner towards him. The two seem to take a second to notice each other but find themselves in lock-up, which Bohemoth uses his power to muscle Leon backwards. Landon goes to follow after them, but gets intercepted by Zack Malibu. COLE And look at Landon, stalking around, looking for every cheapshot possible. He's like a blonde Repo Man in there. COACH It's working too, isn't it? Defending from a low charge by Zack, Maddix pulls him up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Zack, hard! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Zack responds in kind... So La Cucaracha goes to the eyes! Landon stays on Zack with right hands, while the Lethal Rumble timer appears on screen once again. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds hits and the boos rain in, as The Cuban Wall slowly strides to the ring. COLE Our second of five Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members. COACH Look out PRL, haha! PRL does just that, leaving Vitamin X beaten down in the corner and catching Cuban Wall as he climbs up onto the apron! Punches rock Wall as the tries to climb in over the top. Wall manages to shrug PRL off for a second, but Tha Puerto Rican quickly pulls up on the top rope, crotching Wall before he can get fully into the ring! The bigman collapses off the ropes and into the ring, where PRL goes to work with some shaky leg kicks. COLE Tha Puerto Rican, the number one entrant, has The Cuban Wall down and is going to town! Seeing his partner in trouble, Vitamin X pulls him up from the corner... and walks into a big left hand, knocking him right back down! COLE What a shot THAT was too! With the crowd behind him, PRL lets Wall up and tries to muscle him into the ropes with an irish whip. Wall hangs on though, pulling PRL in by the arm and driving him down with a big Powerslam! PRL kicks his feet in pain from the 285 pound slam, as Cuban Wall pushes up to his knees and just chokes the life out of Tha Puerto Rican. "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" Help comes in the unusual form of Reject for PRL, as he comes off the ropes and strikes Wall in the face with a basement dropkick! COACH Reject just made a big mistake right there. COLE How so? Wall is big and he's fresh, if you can target him you damn well better. COACH But Wall's got three of his buddies still to enter and another one already in the ring. COLE Does Cuban Wall really have 'buddies'? COACH Well... no. But that's not the point. He should be getting rid of PRL, there's a million dollars up for grabs, kicking Wall in the face can have no possible benefits whatsoever. Reject goes after Vitamin X and stomps him in the corner, as PRL recovers. Having liften him up onto the top rope a few seconds ago, Bohemoth gives Leon a last shove and walks off. Leon hangs on and stays in the match, not that Bo seems that concerned, focused instead on Cuban Wall. He goes to pick the bigman off the canvas... and for some reason, PRL clubs him in the back as soon as he dips his head. PRL then goes after Wall... until Bohemoth spins him around and knocks him down and out with a big right to the jaw! COLE PRL wants at the Corporation, but the last thing he needs is to make more enemies. As Bohemoth glares down at PRL though, a hand suddenly grabs him around the throat! Cuban Wall climbs from the mat with Bo by the goozle. And with tremendous power, he elevates him up and slams the 284 pound Meterosexual Monster down with a Chokeslam!! COACH The power~! Battles continue between Reject and Vitamin X and Zack and Landon, Leon recouperating in a spare corner. Wall leaves his battle to go help Vitamin X out though, clubbing away at Reject. Landon meanwhile has Zack hurting, kicking away at him while taunting the fans. Leon pulls himself back into battle and targets Cuban Wall, while the count winds down... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche hits and out strides Todd Cortez! MADDIX Hearing the music, Landon freezes right in the middle of kicking Zack. Cortez kisses the gold chain and cross around his neck and hands it off before he exits the ring, right into a game of cat and mouse with Landon who tries to duck behind Bohemoth and PRL. A boot puts PRL back down though, Cortez stepping over him and circling after Landon, who finds himself trapped in the opposite corner that he started in and tries to reason with his former team-mate. With no intention of becoming a one night only partner of Landon's again though, Cortez grabs him... and gets poked in the eyes!! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A chop lashes into Cortez. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Make it three, before Landon hooks on a headlock and rakes Cortez's face across the top rope! Away staggers Cortez holding his face, Landon quickly pushing up onto the middle rope and saying it's over. Cortez catches him coming off the ropes with a boot though, blocking the DDT and setting Maddix up in a standing headscissors... but PRL nails Cortez from behind! COLE PRL, again! What an effort he's putting in here! Landon scurries away and breathes many a sigh of relief at escaping. PRL lays into Cortez with left hands until Zack Malibu walks over, at which point they both suddenly turn around and boot last year's winner. Together PRL and Cortez whip Zack into the ropes, setting up a double team. The double team doesn't last long, Cortez hitting Tha Puerto Rican with a European uppercut before Zack even hits the ropes. Once he does though, he shoots back with a spinning wheel kick to knock The Urban Legend down. Zack is then felled by a Dropsault from Maddix, who stands tall and finds time to give a thumbs up to the hard cam'... before Bohemoth nearly decapitates him with a MURDERLINE~!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!" Bo stays down however, suffering from the punishment he's taken so far. PRL is almost up, but seeing the chance to catch a breather he sits back down in the corner, throwing up his hands comically to the fans. COLE Bohemoth entered at number 5, he's approaching 30 minutes as well now. It's getting to that time where the luck of the draw is going to play it's part, our next entrant will be number 20. COACH And whoever number 20 is will be coming in with lots of weary bodies to choose from. With five men down on one side of the ring, the attention turns to the corner where Leon and Reject have a leg each on Cuban Wall. The bigman doesn't seem to be budging however. And Vitamin X recovers to fight Leon off, allowing Wall to escape Reject's clutches, knocking him down with a big headbutt. Wall and X then turn the tables and suddenly have Leon up, hung over the top rope and teetering on the brink! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Reject staggers back up... but rather than help out Leon, he runs across the ring and crushes Bohemoth with some ROLLING THUNDER!! The Silky Smooth One looks around for some help and looks worried when he finds none coming. His one saving grace might be the Lethal Rumble timer, watching it count down on the big screen as he clings on for dear life... Edited January 29, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender?" Fire burns around the entranceway as James Cone runs out, roared on by the fans. COLE James Cone, we saw him earlier on and now making his third Lethal Rumble appearance. Cone does come to Leon's rescue, as he pulls out Vitamin X and drops him with a right hand. A dropkick knocks Todd Cortez back down, before Cone detours off towards PRL and kicks him in the chest. Just as Cone looks to be cooking though, he gets a little too ahead of himself and runs into Bohemoth. COACH Less haste, more speed and definately opposite direction! Bohemoth gets a hold of Cone, but the fresh entrant is able to swat the arm away and fires off a couple of kicks. With the bigman not budging, Cone then tries another tactic and goes for the legs. A clubbing shot to the back from Bo fends Cone off though. Away into a corner walks Cone, followed in by Bohemoth who makes his own attempt to force an elimination. As this goes on in the one corner, Zack Malibu walks away into another corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Tha Puerto Rican. COLE We've got ten men in, ten men still to come. And we're none the wiser about who's going to AngleMania to challenge Stephen Joseph Popick. Battles go on around the ring, as in the middle, Landon Maddix is up. Shaken, but up. Maddix soon has a smile on his face though as he sees Cortez getting up with his back to him. Sneaking up behind, Landon takes Cortez by the head and tosses him over... but NOT out! Little does Landon realise this, dusting his hands with satisfaction as he walks away. Reject is up and points out Cuban Wall, Landon nodding and moving in. But he takes a step back and catches out Reject, clubbing him with a cheapshot to the back of the head before picking him up over his shoulders. COACH Looking for the G2S! Maddix carries Reject in the fireman's carry, turning around and... ...taking a boot, from Todd Cortez, shock giving way to fear as Cortez pulls him into a standing headscissors and tumbles forward, SPIKING MADDIX INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!! COACH OH NO! COLE Maddix is read the Riot Act again! With Landon out of it, Cortez picks him right back off the canvas AND PITCHES HIM OUT OVER THE TOP TO THE DELIGHT OF THE CROWD!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE'S OUT! Maddix is gone and I don't think he even knows it yet! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LANDON MADDIX ENTERED: 10th LEFT: 11th TIME IN RING: 21:16 ELIMINATED: Jock Mulligan ELIMINATED BY: Todd Cortez LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, James Cone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The referees signal that the motionless Maddix is indeed out, before setting about trying to wake him up. COLE And it was the Riot Act Plus, yet again, which did Maddix in. I've lost count of how many times since Cortez left Landon's side that we've seen him spike him with that Riot Act, it's got to be into double figures by now. COACH That move should be outlawed! COLE Why, because Landon still doesn't have a counter for it? COACH That's one of many reasons Michael Cole! Cortez smirks at Landon before turning around, to be met by Reject and a boot. Hooking Cortez's head and leg, Reject then lifts for a Fisherman's Bust... NO! Cortez rolls through, into a small package. Realising full-well there's no pins, Cortez rolls right through on it, hanging onto the head and bringing Reject up, into a traditional Brainbuster! COLE Oh and he spiked him! Climbing up, Cortez targets the biggest man in the match, Cuban Wall. It's Cortez and Rodez on Wall in one corner, Zack and PRL in another and now Vitamin X and James Cone double-teaming Bohemoth, as we are under ten seconds until another entrant... "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Where I'm From" by C-Murder hits and out walks Reggie Lamont. COLE Number twenty one, Reggie Lamont looking to make a name for himself on the big stage. COACH It's going to be trouble in paradise now. COLE *groan* Reggie hits the ring and immediately heads to the corner occupied by Zack and Tha Puerto Rican. The Jamaican pulls Zack away and just throws him to the side, before grabbing PRL and lifting him up across the top turnbuckle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Look at this! Reggie's going for the money, he's going for the bounty straight away! The fans shout encouragement for PRL as Reggie powers forward trying to push him over the top. PRL is in trouble as Reggie unhooks the leg from underneath the top rope, tipping PRL over so that he's looking down at the arena floor below! Despairingly Tha Puerto Rican gets his hands on the ring apron to try and push himself back in, against the force of the 260 pounds Lamont. COACH Reggie Lamont is seconds away from becoming a millionaire right here! COLE I think somebody's got other ideas. Walking back over, Zack Malibu shows how much he appreciated Reggie's handling of him by pulling him off of PRL and cracking him with an elbow. The crowd breathe a sigh of relief as PRL safely navigates his way over the top and onto the apron, then back into the ring. Zack cracks Reggie with a couple more elbows, before hitting the ropes. Reggie ducks the clothesline though, setting and connecting with a thrust kick up under the jaw of The Franchise! COLE Woah! Nice kick from Reggie! As the big man now of Laguna Beach steps out though, he fails to DODGE THIS (BITCH) and eats a Gamengiri from PRL!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE That wasn't half bad either. On the outside, a distraught Landon is 'escorted' backstage as the action continues without him. Cuban Wall is now at the mercy of three men now, as James Cone has walked over to join Cortez and Leon. Seeing the numbers are with them, Leon directs traffic and motions for them to get Wall out. Cortez and Cone each take a leg and lift, while Leon tries to get underneath the Muscle of the SJPC. Oblivious to his partner's plight, Vitamin X backs up and dropkicks Bohemoth against the bottom turnbuckle. PRL sees Wall in trouble though and decides to go help, despite the urge to rest, his help getting Wall going as the crowd roar. COLE Finally, we've got a group of people coming together and realising what it's going to take to eliminate Cuban Wall. Four men now, Wall is in trouble! Wall hangs on, in an awkward position with his back to the ropes. But where as he can't get a grip on the ropes, he can see who he's fighting. Finding a good spot, Wall reaches out, throwing a soupbone right hand that catches Cortez. A big right then knocks down Cone. Leon and PRL's combined efforts can't keep Wall elevated and his feet hit the mat, quickly landing a right hand on PRL before knocking Leon clean off his feet with an uppercut. COLE Cuban Wall just fought off four men. And not just any four men, four of the OAOAST's finest. COACH That's what those big right hands can do. COLE And we're about to get entrant number 22. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Magnum Opus" hits, to a loud and slightly mixed reaction as ALFDOGG heads out to the ring. COLE Speaking of the OAOAST's finest. Alfdogg, one of only two men to have competed in every Lethal Rumble Match. And he's going right after the other man, Zack Malibu! Alf swings away with right hands on Zack as he hits the ring. The two battle it out until Cuban Wall walks over and grabs them BOTH by the throat for a Double Chokeslam. Alf and Zack both connect with kicks to the knees of Wall to free themselves, before taking him into the ropes with a double whip. A double elbow from the OAOAST Originals puts Wall on the backfoot but not down. So Alf says "nuts to this" and abandons Zack to go after Reggie Lamont! Surprised for a second, Malibu narrowly avoids a clothesline from Wall... *SMACK!* ...and fells the giant with SCHOOL'S OUT!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" As Wall topples, Leon Rodez starts to get to his feet. Zack doesn't play any favourites and sets for School's Out to his friend too. However Reject comes over and clotheslines Zack down. Reject is in turn clotheslined down by Todd Cortez. Cortez then turns around into a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss... *SMACK!* ...AND GETTING CRACKED WITH THE PHEONIX KICK BY JAMES CONE!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That Guy Who Used To Be Spider Poet Said Knock You Out! Going after Cone, Cortez misses his man as Cone crawls under his grasp. The Lunar Pheonix turns around into a Crotch Droppah though. Cortez then comes off the ropes, building up a head of steam and charging back at Cone... who dives forward and clips out The Urban Legend's knee as he rushes towards him. Flipped through the air, Cortez lands with a thud, while Cone suddenly comes face to face with a face from his past, one Zack Malibu. COLE How about this for a face-off? COACH How long has it been? Four, five years? COLE It's been a while that's for sure. Alf has Reggie elevated in the background, as words exchange between Zack and Cone. Then Zack hits a forearm, Cone retaliating. Forearm by Zack. Forearm by Cone. The two OAOAST vets trading blows in the middle of the ring, until the shots catch up to Malibu. Cone lands three more forearms before coming off the ropes, firing into The Franchise with a shoulder tackle. Back a few steps goes Zack, a few steps closer to the ropes which is what concerns The Lunar Pheonix. Another shoulder block knocks Zack back again, this time pinning him against the ropes. Cone then runs in again and charges Zack a third time... but Zack ducks his head, backdropping Cone... who lands on his feet on the apron! COLE He's still in, Cone showing he's still got some of that agility. Spinning Malibu around, Cone lands a forearm from the apron. A second then stuns Zack and sets him up for Cone to apply a front facelock, reaching over the top rope and setting him for a suplex. Zack hooks his foot around the bottom rope though and blocks the elimination attempt! Cone lifts again, again blocked by Zack! Unhooking his foot, Zack then lifts... but Cone blocks and lifts up Zack... who gets turned completely upside down, to screams from the crowd, before he manages to kick his feet and land back in the ring! COLE Zack, hanging on by the skin of his teeth! Losing the facelock Cone drops Zack, who lands in front of him but tastes another elbow. Grabbing onto the top rope, Cone then jumps up... ...but gets dropkicked in mid-air, propelling him backwards to the arena floor, hard! COLE And there goes The Lunar Pheonix... As Cone hits the floor, Bohemoth suddenly sneaks up behind Zack and throws him out... ...NO! Zack barely hangs onto the top rope and skins the cat back inside!! COLE Zack almost followed him too. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JAMES CONE ENTERED: 20th LEFT: 12th TIME IN RING: 5:47 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Almost but not quite. It was too close for Zack's liking though and when he sees just who it was who tipped him, Zack charges at Bo and SPEARS him to the canvas! Bo is more stunned at being taken down than hurt and certainly stunned as Zack starts throwing right hands, but not stunned enough to hold back from throwing rights of his own!! COLE It is breaking down! Zack and Bo are going at it again... COACH And it doesn't look quite the same as earlier. There's real venom behind those punches, Cole. I think any and all 'respect' has flown out of the window, this is personal now! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Master Blaster (Jammin')" starts up as out runs another Rumble debutant, Denzel Spencer! COLE No prizes for guessing who he's going to be going after, either. Sure enough, Denzel slides in just as Vitamin X jumps Alfdogg. Denzel dodges past the brawling Bo and Zack and goes right after Reggie Lamont, popping him with a succession of right hands in the corner. Behind him meanwhile, Bohemoth has Zack over his shoulder and looks to dump him out... ...but Zack hangs onto the top rope and Bohemoth... ALSO hangs on, both men narrowly avoiding falling to the floor! COLE That was a close one! Back in the corner, Reggie starts to fight back on Denzel and backs him out in the centre of the ring with right hands. Booting Denzel in the guy, Reggie then finds some space and bounces off the ropes with the Scissors Ki... NO! Denzel pulls his head out of the way and Reggie jams (LOLZ) his spine into the canvas. Holding his BUTT, Reggie climbs back up and Denzel charges him, sending him up and out of the Lethal Rumble with one big clothesline!! COLE Sweet revenge for Denzel Spencer, eliminating his former partner from the Rumble, just as Lamont had done to him back at New Year's Spectacular in the battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REGGIE LAMONT ENTERED: 21st LEFT: 13th TIME IN RING: 4:22 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Denzel Spencer LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As this is going on, Reject runs over and wipes out Alfdogg. Reject then catches Denzel turning around, attempting an irish whip but finding himself reversed. As Reject rebounds, up goes Denzel for a Hurricanrana... and DOWN he comes, into a Sitout Powerbomb! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Reject gets wiped out in his own right a second later though, as Alfdogg runs over and boots him in the face! After a few choice words to Reject, Alf then goes back after Vitamin X. Cortez works over Cuban Wall with kicks across the ring. Leon and PRL meanwhile take their time recovering, as Bohemoth and Zack continue to do battle in the middle of the pack. COLE It's over thirty minutes for Zack, over thirty for Bohemoth, over fourty minutes for PRL! In one corner Cortez tries to get Wall over the top, with little success. Catching Zack with a good right meanwhile, Bohemoth cups him by the head and runs him across the ring... ...NO! Zack puts on the brakes. A spinkick to the gut doubles Bohemoth over, allowing Zack to run Bohemoth back to the other side... ...NO!! Bohemoth puts on the brakes. Scooping up Zack, Bohemoth goes for a Spinebuster, but finds himself trapped in a front guillotine choke and unable to drop The Franchise. Zack wraps the body-scissors on and tries to choke Bo out, the two bypassed by Alfdogg who targets PRL in the corner and tries to dump him out to collect himself a cool million! COACH Yes, if anyone's gonna collect the bounty, it's gotta be Alf! He did it before and he's going to do it again. Let's face it, the bounty Stephen Joseph put up shits all over the 100,000 Alf picked up two years ago. COLE And if Alf does eliminate PRL, it certainly won't be for Popick's benefit. PRL hangs on, as Bohemoth begins to fade in the middle of the ring. Realising he's going out, Bohemoth makes a charge forward and runs Zack into the one neutral corner in the ring sending his lower back hard into the top turnbuckle. Zack refuses to relinquish the front chancre though. Bohemoth staggers away, already feeling the effects of entering at number 5, even without this chokehold. He turns and runs forward again, this time into a NON neutral corner. Vitamin X gets sandwiched in the corner and goes down, but Zack still hangs onto the choke and Bohemoth is fading fast. "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" Just as he starts to sink forward though, Bohemoth gets a surge of energy and with a low roar he muscles Zack back up before charging again... ...dumping Zack over the ropes!! Zack realises he's in trouble and hangs on for grim life, bringing Bohemoth over with him by the neck... COACH Look out! ...AND THEY BOTH CRASH TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!!! COLE I don't believe it... they're BOTH gone! Zack and Bohemoth are OUT! A loud groan goes up through the Philips Arena, two of the favourites both in chances and crowd support eliminated in one split second. Hitting the floor with a thud, the two untangle themselves and pull themselves back up as referees come across to point them to the back. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The friendly rivalry between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, I have to say, might just have come back to bite them both in the ass here tonight at AnglePalooza. Neither of them will be going to AngleMania to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship! Unbelievable! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOHEMOTH ENTERED: 5th LEFT: 14th TIME IN RING: 37:43 ELIMINATED: Brock Ausstin, Tyler Bryant, Biff Atlas, Zack Malibu ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu ZACK MALIBU ENTERED: 8th LEFT: 15th TIME IN RING: 31:43 ELIMINATED: Theodore Moneymaker, CPA, James Cone, Bohemoth ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Running a hand over his head, Zack curses to himself. Bohemoth hides his emotions slightly worse, slamming his hands into the ring apron in frustration. He then turns to Zack. The two lock eyes and tension boils over as Bo shoves Zack in the chest and The Franchise responds by PIEFACING The Meterosexual Monster!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" And before you know it, Bo and Zack have launched at each other with wild punches and referees are piling over to try and seperate the frustrated fan favourites!! COLE Uh-oh. Tempers have spilt over... Bohemoth and Zack obviously unhappy at being eliminated and they're taking it out on each other. COACH What did I tell you Michael? Sooner or later, somebody's ego was going to get dented and this supposed 'friendly' rivalry was going to turn ugly. And sure enough, it's happened here tonight. There aren't any friends in the hunt for the World Title. Zack and Bo brawl down the aisle with a stream of officials back out from the back again to try and pull them apart. The usually well-tempered pair have lost it in the heat of the moment though, Bo pushes through officials to get his punches in, Zack refusing to be held back even by former tag team partner turned road agent Tony Brannigan. "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* In the heat of this the countdown almost goes forgotten, until "No Chance In Hell" powers out and The Bone Thug walks out. Bone Thug makes sure to keep his distance from Zack and Bo as he passes them in the aisle. COLE It might take all the people we've got in the back to seperate Zack and Bo. COACH Good job we've got about 80 guys on the roster. COLE Speaking of which, here comes The Bone Thug for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. As Bone Thug slides in, we see Zack and Bohemoth disappear through the curtains amongst the sea of officials, still throwing wild shots at each other. COLE Well that has thrown us for a loop. And it's thrown this Lethal Rumble wide open. You've got Alfdogg the 2006 winner. PRL, in from number one, still fighting. COACH Three Corporation members... and two still to come! COLE Reject. In 2006, he lasted over 50 minutes, he's got Lethal Rumble credentials that's for sure. Alfdogg is attacked from behind by Reject, as Bone Thug piles into the same corner going after PRL. Denzel and Vitamin X are hurting meanwhile. In the other corner, unlikely allies Leon Rodez and Todd Cortez are struggling to contend with Cuban Wall. In the end, Cortez gives up and instead grabs Rodez, kicking him in the gut and pulling him away into the centre of the ring. Cortez pulls Leon down into a standing headscissors and looks for the Riot Act Plus... but gets tripped! Leon then hooks up the legs and falls back, catapulting Cortez in the corner and a BIG foot to the face from The Cuban Wall. "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Backing out of the corner to the right, Reject is spun around by Leon. Reject catches a boot though, stepping over and cracking Rodez with a Spinning Heel Kick! COLE Reject with those educated feet. COACH Oh yeah? What did they get? COLE A couple of Advanced Degree-boks. COACH Boo-urns. As Reject gets back up, Cuban Wall then goes charging past, clotheslining Todd Cortez up and out! COLE The boot put Cortez in trouble and it was a matter of time from there. The Urban Legend is gone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODD CORTEZ ENTERED: 19th LEFT: 16th TIME IN RING: 10:40 ELIMINATED: Landon Maddix ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer, The Bone Thug ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wall heads off to help Bone Thug, who is tasting some right hands from his cousin PRL in the corner. Reject attentions are on Alfdogg meanwhile, set and waiting for him to come his way. Looking a little dis-orientated, Alf walks around the ring and drifts towards Reject, who leaps into the air and hooks Alf for the EULOG... ...NO, Alf pushes Reject off. Reject manages to sort his (educated) feet out though and keeps on running, catching Denzel Spencer getting up up under the jaw with a Spinning Wheel Kick, sending him head over heels and to the floor as well! COLE Just like that, there goes another! COACH Quick thinking from Reject. His feet aren't the only educated bodypart, I guess. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DENZEL SPENCER ENTERED: 23rd LEFT: 17th TIME IN RING: 3:01 ELIMINATED: Reggie Lamont ELIMINATED BY: Reject LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, The Bone Thug ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Reject turns away from the elimination though, he walks into a waistlock from Alf, throwing the former International Champion with an Overhead Belly To Belly! COLE Seven men remain, six left to enter in this year's Lethal Rumble. Cuban Wall and Bone Thug double-team PRL in the corner as Alf gets to his feet. The fans encourage him to help out their "People's Champion" and although the very thought of doing something to please the fans amuses him, Alf has no-one else on their feet to go after. So he walks over, grabs Wall and Bone Thug by the heads and executes the always popular DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! Bone Thug loses the hardest head competition and goes down, Wall just staggering away. Leaving them behind, Alfdogg then proves to be his own man as he grabs hold of PRL's legs and starts to lift him up and over the top!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Here we go! Bye bye PR! COLE This could be it, is Tha Puerto Rican going to lose his ticket to AngleMania!? COACH Oh, I'm sure he'll make it to AngleMania. We've got to fill out the undercard somehow, right? HAHAHA! Hanging on desperately, PRL finds himself hung over the top turnbuckle and tipping back towards elimination. The three Corporate members are certainly in no rush to help him. And Alf is pushing with all he's got. First to move from the rest of the pack though is Reject. And he goes right for Alf, pulling him off of PRL... ...and grabbing PRL for himself!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH No, it's gonna be Reject! He's gonna get the bounty, I told you so! Alf comes right back and pulls Reject off of PRL, leading to an exchange of right hands between the former partners and apparantly still enemies. Before Tha Puerto Rican can breath any easier however, LEON RODEZ walks over and bundles him back across the turnbuckle looking for the elimination! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Yes! Leon, he's going to be a millionaire! Come on Leon! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" As the clock ticks down, PRL starts to fight back and gets some shots in to the head of Rodez. Eventually a right hand frees him and he shoves Leon aside, before rushing at Vitamin X and clotheslining him out of his sneakers! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Fuel" by Metallica hits. It takes the crowd a while to figure out why, until John "Rock Hard" Brickston emerges through the curtains and heads to the ring. COACH Who's this guy? COLE Who's this guy!? Coach, that's John Brickston. COACH COLE Former member of The Lightning Crew. COACH COLE Does the Anklelock. Wrestles a lot like Ken Shamrock. COACH .....OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Of course. Brickston hits the ring just as Cuban Wall and Bone Thug are making their move. Grabbing a hold of Bone Thug, Brickston spins him around and drops him with a right hand. Cuban Wall is just about to grab onto PRL before Brickston does the same to him, only without dropping the big guy. Wall ends up staggering away as Brickston lands a second right hand, before PRL turns around and comes face to face with his former protége. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" Barely able to stand straight after over 45 minutes of competition, PRL still has the energy to tell Brickston to 'bring it'. Which could be a mistake, as Brickston boots PRL and goes for the Killswitch... NO! PRL escapes, ducking his head and going for the LATIN SLA... NO! Brickston lands a couple of elbows, before tripping PRL up and applying the ANKLELOCK!! COLE Anklelock by Brickston on PRL! Vitamin X pulls himself up and goes to nail Brickston... but thinks twice and lets PRL suffer some more. COLE Tremendous pain on the face of Tha Puerto Rican. COACH But he's not going to be eliminated like this. You're not going to win a million dollars with an anklelock, you putz! Throw him out! As PRL starts to shout out in pain, Brickston drops the Anklelock, at which point Vitamin X tackles him to the ground. They exchange shots, while Cuban Wall tries to come over and help out. But he gets intercepted, by Leon Rodez and a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Wall in the back of the head with the enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Wall falls backwards as Bone Thug tries to rush Leon. A sidestep and a drop toehold puts Bone Thug throat first across the middle rope though. Jumping to his feet, Rodez then does a weird sort of jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving his weight into the spine of Bone Thug! COLE And Call That Bitch Bojangles! Leon Rodez is cutting through the Corporation. *SMACK!* COACH But he just got cut DOWN right there! A Superkick from Alfdogg knocks Rodez down... but Alf regrets turning his back on Reject, as he gets dropped with the EULOGY~!!!! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE This will be entrant number 26! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Makes Me Wonder" sounds out again, for the second member of D*LUX, "Showtime" Shayne Brave! COLE What a draw for this youngster. And what a story if he were to make it to AngleMania VII! COACH Yeah, I don't see it. Reject catches the energetic Brave on his way in and clubs away, before picking him up and shooting him to the ropes. Around the world goes Shayne, but he finds his way safely out of the tilt a whirl and stuns Reject with an Enziguri! SHAYNE COME ON!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Oh yeah, Shayne Brave is fired up! Stepping out to the apron, Shayne quickly climbs the turnbuckles while the coast is clear. A groggy Reject staggers back up and glances up to see Shayne soaring towards him, connecting with a big Flying Clothesline that brings the crowd to their feet! Shayne pumps his fist in celebration before rushing over to Rodez, helping his 6-Man Tag Team partner back to his feet. Still shaken from the superkick, Leon kinda thanks Shayne, as he goes zipping off to stomp away on The Bone Thug. COLE We're getting down to the business end of things here Coach and would you look at that, Tha Puerto Rican, still there. COACH I know. Poor Popick must be getting a little frustrated watching this. In the corner, Vitamin X manages to get a thumb in the eye on John Brickston. He then grabs him by the head and throws him over the top, but Brickston holds on and slides back in. COACH I mean seriously, why is nobody going after PRL!? Come on! Leon and Shayne set up Bone Thug for a double team. An inverted atomic drop jars the Corporate member, held in place as Leon comes off the ropes to complete the D*LUX Opposites Attract double-team with what is usually Tyler's Yakuza Kick! A high-five is exchanged by the Love Generation team-mates, before Cuban Wall suddenly stomps towards them. The quick thinking 6-Man Champs manage to duck the clotheslines thrown at them though, waiting for Wall to turn around and hitting him with a Double Dropkick! COLE Down goes the bigman! Another high-five is slapped off by Love Generation, before Shayne turns around and plays to the crowd again... ...and pays for it, as Leon grabs him AND FLIPS HIM OUT OVER THE TOP!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH The hell!? COLE Well, it is every man for himself. Shayne looks up stunned from the outside, as Leon just shrugs apologetically. Disappointed but still diplomatic, Shayne reaches up and high-fives Leon from the floor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SHAYNE BRAVE ENTERED: 26th LEFT: 18th TIME IN RING: 1:24 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, The Bone Thug, John Brickston ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leon gets back in the mix and works over Wall with some forearms to the back, while Reject goes over and clubs away at Brickston and at Vitamin X across the ring. Limping to his feet, PRL hops across the ring and starts to try and pick up Alfdogg, which in his physical state doesn't seem to be happening. So he settles for a fistdrop to the back of Alf's head, before going after Bone Thug. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* Lucky number #27 is next, "God Of Thunder" pumping through the arena as THUNDERKID jogs out! COLE Wow, what a draw for Thunderkid. Here's a guy who could shock the world here at AnglePalooza! TK slides in and is met by former partner Reject! A right hand is shrugged off, Thunderkid landing three quick shots on Reject before mowing him down with a clothesline. COACH Thunderkid and Reject have had some battles in the Lethal Rumble in their time. And 2008 is no exception! As Reject staggers up, Thunderkid then gorilla presses him up over his head and slams him to the canvas which maybe isn't the wisest move in a Rumble but certainly puts the hurting on Reject. COLE And Thunderkid is coming in fresh, with a lot of power as exhibited right there. COACH And not a huge amount of brains, also exhibited right there. After knocking Leon down with a right hand, Cuban Wall walks out of the corner and goes after the fresh man. Thunderkid fends him off with right hands though before backing into the ropes. A Big Boot from Wall misses it's target, TK ducking underneath and coming off the far ropes with a Bicycle Kick, which takes Wall off his feet! Thunderkid then charges at PRL and clotheslines him, over the top... ...and to the APRON ONLY!! COACH OH! Oh, I thought he was gone! COLE PRL hooked that top rope and it's the only thing that saved him! Thunderkid is pulled away by Alfdogg, who connects with a Blue Thunder Bomb! Saying to hell with it, Alf then steps to the outside and heads up top, bringing the crowd to their feet. COLE Could it be Five Star time? NO it could not! As Alf slowly climbs the turnbuckles, Thunderkid is able to drag himself back up and charges at Alf, crotching him on the top turnbuckle!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Alf groans in pain, Thunderkid then backs up a step and hooks Alf with a clothesline, taking him off the top AND SENDING HIM TUMBLING TO THE FLOOR!! COLE Another hot favourite is out of the running! And I'm sure Popick will be secretly relieved to see Alfdogg gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ALFDOGG ENTERED: 22nd LEFT: 19th TIME IN RING: 11:06 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thunderkid steps away and bumps into John Brickston, the two turning around as they back into each other and going face to face. COACH My God, it's like looking into a living mirror! Before they can go at it though, Reject rushes over and knocks them both down with a double clothesline! Grinning from ear to ear, Reject reaches down and picks up Brickston... uh, at least I think it's Brickston... throwing him into a corner and choking him with the flat of his boot. Across the ring meanwhile, Vitamin X has picked up PRL and lifts him up and over the top! "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" PRL suddenly falls from the top, but he falls to the apron and grabs onto the bottom rope. Vitamin X starts stomping away but Tha Puerto Rican won't budge. Grabbing the top rope, X then pushes forward with his feet in an attempt to just push him off, Bone Thug walking over and joining in! Leon Rodez attacks X from behind though, allowing PRL to get back in while Bone Thug saves X from being chucked out by Leon. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" COLE Well with #29 and #30 taken care of, there's only one person this could be. "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" COACH Haha... brilliant. Just brilliant. "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "No Chance In Hell" strikes up and boos ring out, as the Corporate Turncoat Spanish Fly runs to the ring! COACH What a performance from The Corporation! Four in, four yet to be eliminated and the bigman still to come at number thirty. COLE And PRL yet to be eliminated either. COACH Yeah well, let's not dwell on that, huh? Fly dives in and rushes right at Leon, who drops Bone Thug with a right hand just before Fly barges into him and catches him by surprise, ELIMINATING HIM FROM THE RUMBLE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Oh, brilliant, BRILLIANT! COLE Two was okay, but Leon couldn't fight off three Corporation members. What a kicker for Leon. A great performance... COACH Yack yack yack yack. What about Spanish Fly? What STRENGTH from Spanish Fly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEON RODEZ ENTERED: 13th LEFT: 20th TIME IN RING: 30:11 ELIMINATED: Shayne Brave ELIMINATED BY: Spanish Fly LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Reject, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid, Spanish Fly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quickly, Spanish Fly gets Vitamin X and Bone Thug together, the three SJPC members rushing over to help member number four Cuban Wall fend off Thunderkid. Fly, X and Bone Thug all attack from behind, CLUBBERING TK down to his knees with forearms while Wall pulls himself out of the corner and smiles. COLE And now, like a pack of damn dogs, they group together. Saying "I've got this, I've got this", Vitamin X assumes control. The other three step aside as X lifts Thunderkid into a torture rack. Fly gives him a helping hand as X is pretty tired from being in there so long. But once he's got TK set, X has enough energy to spin him out and put the X-CLAMATION POINT on him!! Thunderkid rolls away hurt, while Reject turns around and suddenly sees the four Corporation members advancing towards him. COLE Oh boy. Reject is in a BAD spot here. COACH But he's not backing down. Faced with no alternative, Reject shoots forward and tries to fight his way out of trouble with rights and lefts flying. Pretty soon the four on one numbers get the better of him though and the Corporation stomp him into the canvas. Boos ring out as Reject is allowed back up by the foursome, Fly, Bone Thug and X all standing back as Cuban Wall reaches in and grabs Reject by the throat. The former International Champion then goes up... and DOWN with the Chokeslam, to the applause of the standers-by. COACH Maybe he should have just backed down. Picking Reject up off the canvas, Wall tosses him aside, sending the helpless Reject tumbling over the top and to the floor. COLE They're just going to pick them off one by one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REJECT ENTERED: 15th LEFT: 21st TIME IN RING: 27:10 ELIMINATED: Baron Windels, Denzel Spencer ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid, Spanish Fly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sure enough, Brickston is next. The four close in on Brickston who's trapped in the corner, fists clenched. Spanish Fly laughs aloud as Bone Thug dares him to come fight just like Reject tried to do... PRL HEY, FUCKWADS!! Turning around in unison (which gets a cheap laugh), Wall, X, Fly and Bone Thug all look surprised as PRL stands in the centre of the ring AND FLIPS THEM ALL OFF!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh, I get it! PRL is finally tired of living! And who can blame him really? All four SJPC members look at each other and need no more convincing to go after PRL. But suddenly, Brickston bundles into the back of them and the odds become a much more favourable 4 on 2 rather than 4 on 1, PRL throwing left hands with every little bit of energy he has in him as X and Bone Thug while Brickston wails away on Wall and Fly!! Just as PRL starts to slow down, Thunderkid then comes over and starts throwing fists too, making it 4 on 3!! COLE The battlelines have been drawn! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" COACH Oh no... not now! "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE Here comes someone who's gonna even the odds! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* *1, 2, 3! Hit it!* The opening trumpet blare sounds out and "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool starts playing, as The Mad Cappa sprints to the ring! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) Cappa immediately begins slugging it out with The Bone Thug! COLE 4-on-4! The Corporation taking on OAOAST Superstars including Tha Puerto Rican! COACH They're in control! The Corporation is in control! COLE I'm not so sure about that! Everyone pairs off into the four corners, PR taking on Vitamin X, The Mad Cappa taking on The Bone Thug, Thunderkid taking on Spanish Fly, and John "Rock Hard" Brickston taking on Cuban Wall. COLE Only one entrant remaining, and we all know who that is. COACH Yes, The Corporate Giant! Wall rakes Brickston in the eyes, and then goes to help VX with Tha Puerto Rican. Wall uses his CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms to bring PRL to his knees. Vitamin X gets his kicks in as well! COACH Brains & Brawn teaming up on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE If Brains & Brawn eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, do they split the money? COACH Vitamin X would gladly allow his friend to have all of the million. It's his money anyway! COLE That doesn't sound like the Vitamin X that I know. Wall and X decide that it's time now to eliminate PRL. The two men pick Tha Puerto Rican off of the canvas and lift his feet off of the mat! The crowd goes nuts! COACH THEY'RE GONNA DO IT! THEY'RE GONNA DO IT! COLE Brains & Brawn dangerously close to eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! PRL is struggling to remain inside the ring, holding onto the ropes! But X and Wall keep trying to dump him…that is until The Mad Cappa rushes over and punches both men! Right jab for X! Right jab for Wall! Back and forth Cappa goes, taking on Brains & Brawn as both of Tha Puerto Rican's feet return to the mat! COLE The Mad Cappa saving Tha Puerto Rican there, perhaps returning the favor for PRL helping him win the Corporate Lethal Rumble last Thursday! COACH Or because he wants the money. COLE That's...actually a good point. Tha Puerto Rican nails Cuban Wall with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! Punch! Punch! Spit! Punch! PRL battles Cuban Wall, while Cappa handles Vitamin X. The Bone Thug drives in shoulders into Thunderkid in a turnbuckle corner, while Brickston just punches Spanish Fly in another corner. COLE If no Corporate member is eliminated, then Mr. Boricua will give the SJPC the advantage when he enters the ring in just a few seconds! COACH And then, at last, PRL is doomed! Cuban Wall tries his best to dump Tha Puerto Rican as the timer appears on screen. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts up one more time, and the #30 entrant, Mr. Boricua slowly walks to the ring. COLE And there he is, #30! The biggest member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, Mr. Boricua! COACH If anyone can eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua can! Mr. Boricua enters the ring by climbing over the top ring rope and immediately pummels Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And now, those 9 men that you see in the ring are all that's left in the Lethal Rumble. One of those 9 men is going to face the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at AngleMania VII on March 30th. For the past three years, the Lethal Rumble winner has gone on to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleMania, and you better believe that one of those 9 men wants to extend it to a fourth year at AngleMania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on Sunday March 30th! COACH And there's still the matter of the bounty! Nobody has eliminated PRL yet! Mr. Boricua takes PRL down to a corner. He chokes PRL with his right foot. PRL gasps for air with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Mr. B lets go. Suddenly, Spanish Fly zooms across the ring with a Broncobuster on Tha Puerto Rican! Fly gets off of PRL and does a SHIMMY~! to boos! COLE Spanish Fly mocking Colombian Heat, who failed in his quest to win the Undisputed World Heavyweight Title earlier tonight! COACH And his buddy, PRL is going to fail in his quest to win the Lethal Rumble Match! Just you wait! With PRL slumped in a turnbuckle corner, Mr. Boricua turns his attention to Thunderkid. Boricua punches Thunderkid, who fires back with rights of his own! However, The Corporate Giant headbutts TK five times, knocking him loopy. COLE Try as he might, Thunderkid can't compete with Mr. Boricua! COACH Size DOES matter in the Rumble! After getting TK groggy, Mr. Boricua grabs him by his head and starts running with him towards the ropes, throwing Thunderkid over the top rope and onto the floor HARD! COLE And that's it! Thunderkid is out of the Rumble! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUNDERKID ENTERED: 27th LEFT: 22nd TIME IN RING: 09:07 ELIMINATED: Alfdogg ELIMINATED BY: Mr. Boricua LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, The Mad Cappa, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Thunderkid is ordered to return to the back, Mr. Boricua picks PRL up. COLE Eight men left standing! And FIVE of them are Corporation members! COACH The odds of a SJPC member winning the Lethal Rumble get greater and greater! COLE And how about this? Each man left in this match is or at one time was a member of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COACH The three rejects in this match never deserved the title of SJPC member. COLE Not even the guy who created the damn group? COACH ...Popick made it better. Cuban Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! The Mad Cappa joins in, and PRL and The Mad Cappa take turns punching Cuban Wall to the crowd's delight! COLE Here's an image that we thought that we would never see in LAST year's Lethal Rumble Match! PRL and The Mad Cappa TEAMING UP against CUBAN WALL! COACH Oh come on! X, go help your partner! PRL and Cappa take turns punching Wall--and then The Mad Cappa strikes Tha Puerto Rican! COACH So much for that gratitude for last Thursday! COLE Hey, it's the Lethal Rumble! Every man for himself! COACH That's your excuse everytime one of your 'heroes' does something like this! PRL is stunned...but not stunned enough to not strike back, which he does! Cappa fires back! PRL fires back! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! A slugfest erupts between the two longtime rivals, and the crowd approves! COLE SOOOO much history between those two! It's not strange to see them slugging it out! COACH But rather strange to see them team up! The slugfest continues until The Mad Cappa gets a few more shots in a row! The punches take PRL to the ropes, where Cappa proceeds to whip Puerto into the opposite ropes--PRL reverses-- VITAMIN X BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROPS THE MAD CAPPA OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!! COACH YES! COLE Vitamin X with some payback for last Thursday! And The Mad Cappa is GONE! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE MAD CAPPA ENTERED: 29th LEFT: 23rd TIME IN RING: 05:57 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Vitamin X LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vitamin X taunts Cappa, who spews some venom of his own. X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle in the ring. VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" X goes back to telling Cappa to "scram", laughing the entire time. The Mad Cappa gets up and yells at X, referees holding him back. COLE So the #29 entrant is eliminated, which leaves us with 7 left, with only two of those men not affiliated with the Corporation! COACH The walls are closing in for PRL! He can't take the pressure! COLE What happens if PRL and John Brickston are eliminated? Do the SJPC fight amongst themselves? COACH Of course! A match against Popick is on the line at AngleMania VII! All of those men want the honor to fight their boss for the World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest show of the year! But only one can have it, so yeah, they will fight. COLE You know, there are still 63 days left until AngleMania VII. Popick might not even be Champion by then. COACH Hush, young fool! Referees have to force The Mad Cappa to leave the ringside area! Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall double team Tha Puerto Rican while Spanish Fly has his hands full with John "Rock Hard" Brickston. COLE Two enemies of the SJPC left! One old, the other fairly new! COACH Both in deep trouble now! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall choke PRL with their bare hands, while Spanish Fly does martial arts kicks all over John Brickston's body...that is until Brickston simply grabs the 4'11" Spanish Fly and shoves him into the turnbuckle so that he can lay into him! COLE And the littlest member of the SJPC getting hammered by the 6'6" 215 pound John Brickston, who is making his OAOAST return tonight! COACH Come on Fly! Fight with all your heart! Fight with all of your heart! I believe in you, little buddy! PRL is still getting choked...until he scratches Cuban Wall's eyes, and then pokes Mr. Boricua in his eyes! Puerto takes a moment to catch his breath, and then grabs Mr. Boricua and starts hammering away at him! COLE And PRL going to work on the biggest man in the SJPC! A man he used to call his bodyguard! PR's punches take Mr. Boricua over to a turnbuckle corner. PR runs to the opposite corner, and then rushes forward with a Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! PR decides that he's not done yet, and runs over to the opposite turnbuckle corner again, to charge forward with a second Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! PR decides that STILL isn't enough, so he runs back to the opposite turnbuckle corner, and then comes forward with a THIRD Stinger Splash on Mr. Boricua! COLE THREE Stinger Splashes! PRL hitting Mr. Boricua with THREE Stinger Splashes to soften up the big man! COACH Come on Boricua! Remember! $1 million! Lots of green paper! You like green paper don't you, Boricua? The ones with the dead presidents on them? Yeah, those are sweet, aren't they Mr. Boricua? And if you eliminate PRL, you get a MILLION of them! Isn't that great? COLE You are talking to him like a baby, Coach! COACH I'm talking up to him! Not talking DOWN! You know Boricua is not all there! COLE Oh come on! Seeing Mr. Boricua groggy, PRL turns his attention to Spanish Fly. Except, that since Spanish Fly is already being taken care of by John Brickston, he has a hard time doing so. Even worse when Brickston turns around and nails Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Like there's a shocker. Brickston quit The Lightning Crew in April of 2004! COACH That was The Lightning Crew! THIS is the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! There's a difference! COLE What's the difference other than those mindless flunkies following a different egomaniac? COACH Uh...new T-shirts? Brickston turns all of his attention to Tha Puerto Rican, nailing "The People's Champion" with numerous rights to the head. The crowd responds overwhelmingly with boos at this. COLE John "Rock Hard" Brickston's first, and to date, ONLY title reign in the One And Only AngleSault Thread ended at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican when PRL defeated Brickston to capture, what was at the time known as, the OAOAST Italian Championship at The Great Angle Bash back in June 2005! We have not seen much of Brickston since that time, so what a career boost it would be for him if he could eliminate Tha Puerto Rican, get the $1 million bounty, and then win the Lethal Rumble and go on to fight for the World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VII! COACH Now that you mentioned it...COME ON BRICKSTON! ELIMINATE YOUR FORMER LEADER! SHOW HIM THAT THE STUDENT IS BETTER THAN THE MASTER! Brickston continues pummeling Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall tries to help, only to get a punch in return! Brickston goes back to punching PRL. Wall tries to punch PRL, only to get punched by Brickston again! This causes the crowd to cheer Brickston. Brickston punches PRL, then Wall, PRL, then Wall, PRL, then Wall! COACH Stop! Stop! Stop it! Focus on PR! FOCUS ON PR! COLE John Brickston in control of Tha Puerto Rican AND Cuban Wall, showing us why he was the OAOAST Italian Champion in the spring of 2005! COACH You HATE PRL, remember!? Get him! GET HIM! Brickston backs himself into a corner, still punching P.R. and Cuban Wall. Unfortunately, it's the corner Spanish Fly is currently resting in, so the SJPC's newest member hops onto Brickston's back with a Sleeperhold! COLE Sleeperhold! Sleeperhold on John Brickston! COACH He's doing it! Fly is doing it! John Brickston flails his arms around, trying desperately to get the Corporate Turncoat off of his back! But Cuban Wall takes the opportunity to kick Brickston several times in the midsection! PRL shakes the cobwebs out, not noticing what is going on a few feet from him. COLE And the Corporation once again using the numbers game to get their man! COACH And Spanish Fly is showing us how big of a heart he‘s got! COLE It’s a BLACK heart though, after what he did to Colombian Heat! COACH How dare you, you RAYCIST~! Cuban Wall continues kicking Brickston in the stomach. Spanish Fly gets off of Brickston's back, ending the Sleeperhold. Brickston is doubled over, so Cuban Wall positions him on the ring ropes and grabs his left foot. The Bone Thug comes in and grabs John's right foot. Spanish Fly, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua join in, and together, the five Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members lift John "Rock Hard" Brickston's feet up off of the mat, sending them up into the air...and over the top rope, onto the floor! COACH They did it! John Brickston quickly recovers and slaps the ring apron in frustration! He points a menacing finger at the Corporation members, who all respond with evil smiles and taunts. The crowd boos loudly. COLE John "Rock Hard" Brickston is gone! We are down to six! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JOHN BRICKSTON ENTERED: 25th LEFT: 24th TIME IN RING: 15:32 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ John Brickston tries to go back into the ring, but referees and security pull him back down onto the ground! COLE Things are getting a little chaotic here! John Brickston wants to go back into the ring! COACH What a sore loser! COLE He DID get eliminated by four of his arch-rivals and a guy he used to call his friend! COACH So? It's the Lethal Rumble! You lost, Brickston! Time to go back to obscurity! Spanish Fly taunts the fans and does a SHIMMY~! just to be a dick. PRL is resting on the ring ropes and is watching referees and security having to carry out John "Rock Hard" Brickston, who issues threats to the SJPC as he's being taken away. COLE John "Rock Hard" Brickston will NOT be challenging for the World Heavyweight Title this year at AngleMania, but one of those six men will! COACH Make that FIVE men, Cole. COLE He hasn't been eliminated yet, Coach. COACH He will be. Popick said that there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that PRL will win the Lethal Rumble! COLE Popick ain't Nostradamus! COACH But he is our UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! COLE That I'll give you. Vitamin X waves bye to John Brickston, who yells as he is taken to the entrance. JOHN "ROCK HARD" BRICKSTON YOU'RE MINE! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD! GET OFF ME! YOU'RE MINE! I'LL GET YOU! I'LL GET YOU REAL SOON! GET OFF ME! COACH You lost, you big baby! COLE You wouldn't say that right in front of him, would you? COACH Of course not! Referees and security guards finally take John "Rock Hard" Brickston through the curtains. PRL watches him leave. COLE And so it has come to this. And wouldn't you know it. Every member of the SJPC in the Rumble has stayed through to the end. COACH It's appropriate that a member of the SJPC get to be the one to crush PRL's AngleMania dreams! COLE Hey, Popick can give the money to someone in the family! COACH Correct! Not that they need it. Popick pays them well. The 5 members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation all smile evilly, feeling that the end is near for Tha Puerto Rican. Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua all head to a turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican turns around and sees them all staring at him. The crowd starts cheering loudly. COLE And here we go. It's PRL vs. the Corporation. He is all by his lonesome. No Colombian Heat here to watch his back! He is a man on his own, 5-against-1! COACH It is all going along perfectly! Popick is the undisputed Champ, and he will face someone from the Corporation at AngleMania VII! It's beautiful! COLE This is a situation PRL's enemies are SO used to. The Lightning Crew-cum-Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation working together, using the numbers game to gain the advantage. They have done so tonight, in the Lethal Rumble Match, and ironically, their last target is the man who led them for over FOUR years! COACH Instant karma's gonna get you, huh, P.R.? The crowd gets more amped up by the second. Tha Puerto Rican stands in the opposite corner staring at his former running buddies. Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, and Cuban Wall all have cocky smirks on their faces. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug just stare at PRL with serious expressions on their faces. VX mouths, "No chance!" Cuban Wall cracks his knuckles and chuckles. Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts and cracks his knuckles. He also yells and screams. The Bone Thug does the cutthroat hand gesture. Spanish Fly sticks out his tongue and does a CROTCH CHOP~!. Through it all, Tha Puerto Rican just stares at the SJPC, never once changing his serious facial expression. COLE Either Tha Puerto Rican pulls off the upset, or a Corporation member is going to AngleMania. COACH The safe bet is to bet CORPORATE! COLE What could be going through the mind of Tha Puerto Rican right now? COACH Probably, (in an annoying high-pitched voice): 'I should have been a better leader for these guys!' 'I should have won the World Title when I had the chance!' 'I should have satisfied my girlfriend in bed better!' COLE Oh will you stop!? The Corporation members get into a huddle as PRL stares at them. COLE He is outnumbered 5-to-1. All of these men at one time allies, friends. If this was January of 2004, 2005, 2006 or 2007, you can bet those 5 guys would have Tha Puerto Rican's back. Well, maybe not Spanish Fly. Anyway, it is January of 2008, and in January of 2008, Tha Puerto Rican is public enemy #1 for those 5 men! COACH Turn out the lights, the party's over! COLE A huddle is going on. Perhaps some last minute strategy for the Corporation members. The fans are standing here in the Phillips Arena. A trip to AngleMania VII with a World Title shot is on the line. One of these six men is going to fight the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, whomever he may be, at OAOAST AngleMania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California on Sunday March 30, 2008! COACH Let's do this! He's in trouble now! The SJPC members all high five each other. They turn their attention back to Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican is still serious. The SJPC members all have evil grins on their faces. PRL puts his right hand out...and tells them to THA PUERTO RICAN JUST BRING IT! COLE He's ready! He's ready! He wants to get it on! He wants to get it on right here, right now! COACH Let him have his moment, he's done in a few seconds anyway! Vitamin X and Cuban Wall pat The Bone Thug on the back. He then charges forward, and starts punching Tha Puerto Rican! COLE The Bone Thug going to work on Tha Puerto Rican! And it looks like they're doing this one at a time! COACH No! They want the cousin to have the honor of eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! $1 million for eliminating your own cousin. I'd hit my grandma over the head with a steel chair for $1 million! COLE That's nice. The Bone Thug takes PRL to the corner he was standing in and kicks him in the midsection repeatedly! COACH Come on Bone Thug! Get 'im! Come on Bone Thug! Get 'im! Bone Thug runs over to where the SJPC are standing, and then charges forward...Turnbuckle Yakuza Kick onto Tha Puerto Rican's head! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH He's got him! He's got him now! The Bone Thug nods his head at the other Corporation members, and then grabs PRL and takes him over to the ring ropes where he tries to dump him! COLE PR is in trouble now! COACH Look at The Bone Thug! Not even in the OAOAST for a full year and already in the final six in a Lethal Rumble Match! COLE He has come a long way since he debuted back in February 2007 on OAOAST Syndicated! And he now may be moments away from eliminating his own blood relative! COACH Yes! PR hits The Bone Thug with a back elbow! He then does it again! And again! The Bone Thug lets go of PRL's body, and PRL is back on the mat. The Bone Thug goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PR fires off with a punch! Then another! Then another! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE Uh-oh. The Bone Thug falls to the mat following that last punch, but gets right back up. And PRL is ready, with another punch knocking The Bone Thug back down! Bone Thug is up again, so PRL punches him down again! Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! COACH BONE THUG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Tha Puerto Rican grabs The Bone Thug by his right hand, and then gives him an Irish Whip into the ropes. P.R. follows The Bone Thug as he heads into the opposite ropes, and then hits The Bone Thug with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope and onto the floor! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh no! COLE PRL eliminates his own cousin! There goes The Bone Thug! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE BONE THUG ENTERED: 24th LEFT: 25th TIME IN RING: 17:57 ELIMINATED: John Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE An impressive showing from The Bone Thug in his Lethal Rumble debut, but it was not to be this year! COACH There are still four guys left! You can do this! You can do this! COLE Four Corporate members against Tha Puerto Rican! The Bone Thug's elimination causes much concern for the Corporation members. So Spanish Fly charges forward...and gets knocked down with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Vitamin X charges forward, PRL ducks the clothesline, and attacks Mr. Boricua! Once he gets him good and dazed, PRL charges forward and ducks another Vitamin X clothesline, and then follows that by bouncing off of the ropes and hitting X with a flying clothesline taking him down! COLE Down goes The X-Man! COACH Oh come on! Focus! Focus! Focus! Mr. Boricua comes back grabbing PRL and choking him on the ring ropes! COACH Yes! Yes! You got him! You got him now! HA! HA! HA! Boricua whips PRL into a turnbuckle corner. PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! The crowd starts panicking! COACH DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! Mr. Boricua charges with a clothesline, but Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline! Mr. Boricua is confused as to why PRL wasn't hit with his MASSIVE clothesline, but PRL calls out Mr. Boricua's name...and then pokes Mr. Boricua in the eyes! COACH Hey! PRL climbs through the ropes back into the ring and grabs Mr. Boricua to start hammering away at him! One Rock-style punch to the temple after another gets Mr. Boricua good and dazed. Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Mr. Boricua is now on spaghetti legs, so Tha Puerto Rican takes a few steps back...Vitamin X tries to attack and gets knocked down with a punch! PRL takes a step back... COACH Look out Mr. Boricua! Look out! PRL "tunes up the band"...and then hits Mr. Boricua with the Sweet Chin Music! COLE The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music on Mr. Boricua! Mr. Boricua stumbles, but he does not fall! So Tha Puerto Rican takes a step back..."tunes up the band" again...and then hits Boricua with a second Sweet Chin Music that causes Mr. Boricua to tumble over the top rope and onto the floor! At this, Vitamin X screams, "NO!" COLE ANOTHER Sweet Chin Music! COACH Boricua! No! No! Oh God no! COLE And Mr. Boricua is out of here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MR. BORICUA ENTERED: 30th LEFT: 26th TIME IN RING: 04:37 ELIMINATED: Thunderkid, John Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican FINAL FOUR: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are now down to the Final Four! One of those four men is going to AngleMania! Just then, Spanish Fly charges after Tha Puerto Rican...and gets tossed out by PRL over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Make that the final three! COACH Spanish Fly! Little buddy! COLE Spanish Fly went FLYING on that one! COACH Oh, that's rich! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SPANISH FLY ENTERED: 28th LEFT: 27th TIME IN RING: 10:27 ELIMINATED: Leon Rodez, John Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are now down to just Tha Puerto Rican against both members of Brains & Brawn! PRL paces back and forth staring a hole through both Brains & Brawn. COACH This is not looking good! This is not looking good! COLE Tha Puerto Rican can pull off the upset! He can go to AngleMania if he gets rid of X and Wall! Brains & Brawn are very annoyed with PRL right now. COACH Somebody has to eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Popick is probably blowing a gasket right now backstage! His hopes of an AngleMania main event without Tha Puerto Rican are dwindling further and further away! COACH This ain't right! This ain't Corporate! PRL dares both of Brains & Brawn to fight him. Vitamin X holds an angry Cuban Wall back and tells him, "I got this! I got this!" COLE Is X gonna go at it alone? COACH Yeah! The Prince dethrones the King! Vitamin X goes for a high five, but Wall just stares at him. Moving on, X spits in his hands and rubs them together. He then slowly inches closer to Tha Puerto Rican, getting into a fighting stance. PRL puts his guard up as X comes towards him. Finally, X just goes ahead and tackles PRL into a turnbuckle corner! He then starts punching him in the face! COLE If X eliminates PRL, then he won't have to part with that $1 million in his bank account! COACH That's probably more than enough to motivate X into eliminating PRL. VX continues pounding on PRL in the turnbuckle corner! X grabs PRL's left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner, right into a Big Boot from Cuban Wall! COLE Oh, he can't have much left! Tha Puerto Rican can't have much left! COACH He was the first guy in and the second-to-last guy eliminated! Not bad for such a jabroni! Vitamin X says, "YEAH-UH~!" He tells Cuban Wall good job, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. VITAMIN X You like that? You like that? You're going down! YOU'RE GOING DOWN! Vitamin X SLAPS PRL across the face! COLE Oh! And what a sign of disrespect from Vitamin X! COACH That piece of trailer park trash deserves nothing more! X starts jukin' and jivin'. COACH Here it comes! I always love this part! VX punches PRL in the face! He then punches PRL in the face again! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then SPITS IN HIS RIGHT HAND! X then punches PRL a third time, knocking him down! COLE That dreaded three punch combo from Vitamin X takes Tha Puerto Rican down! COACH Yeah! And he mocked PRL while doing it! HA! HA! Vitamin X shouts out "BOO-YAH~!" to loud boos. X picks Tha Puerto Rican up--and is met with a left hand! And another! And another! Tha Puerto Rican DANCES~! THEN SPITS IN HIS LEFT HAND! And then punches Vitamin X a fourth time, knocking him down! COLE Hey! How about that? A little Shake, Rattle & Roll from Tha Puerto Rican, perhaps a 'shout out' to his friend, Colombian Heat! COACH That disgusts me! Copying his own best friend's moves now!? What kind of a friend is he!? Dispicable! PRL picks Vitamin X up and whips him into the ropes--NO--Vitamin X reverses--PRL bounces off of the ring ropes, Vitamin X puts his head down, so Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward, stops in his tracks, and simply kicks Vitamin X in the face! Vitamin X stumbles around the ring, with PRL watching him. KICK WHAM THE CAPPA KILLA!!!!!!! COLE The Cappa Killa! The Cappa Killa from Tha Puerto Rican! Perhaps a 'shout out' to The Mad Cappa!? COACH NO! Vitamin X is still on his feet following The Cappa Killa, so Tha Puerto Rican bumrushes him and dumps Vitamin X over the top rope and onto the floor with a clothesline! COLE There goes Vitamin X! COACH That wasn't an exit fit for a prince! That was not a royal exit! COLE Well, Vitamin X did better than he did last year, so at least he can take comfort in that! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ VITAMIN X ENTERED: 6th LEFT: 28th TIME IN RING: 47:48 ELIMINATED: The Mad Cappa, John “Rock Hard” Brickston (co) ELIMINATED BY: Tha Puerto Rican LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We are seeing the single greatest one-man performance in the history of the Lethal Rumble! COACH Come on Wall! That $1 million could be yours! All yours! Popick won’t mind! The crowd is on their feet! PRL continues firing them up! P.R. then rushes over to the turnbuckle corner where Cuban Wall is standing. Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires off with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE Down to two men! Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican! Either Cuban Wall gets the $1 million bounty, or Tha Puerto Rican gets another shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest spectacle in parody e-fed entertainment! COACH Come on, Wall! Your boss is counting on you to do your job! $1 million! $1 million! ONE MILLION DOLLARS! PRL, his face filled with RAGE, grabs Cuban Wall's left hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner. PR follows with a Stinger Splash onto Wall! Puerto Rican then grabs Cuban Wall by his left hand again, and then whips him into the ropes...Cuban Wall reverses...Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes...right into a GOOZLE~! COACH Oh yeah! Oh yeah! COLE This could end it for Tha Puerto Rican right here! CW taunts PRL while clutching his throat. PRL gasps for air. Wall grabs Puerto's long red tights and then lifts him up into the air--NO!--Tha Puerto Rican slips out of Cuban Wall's grasp and lands on his feet right behind him. PRL turns Cuban Wall around... KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHT-- PRL has trouble lifting Wall up! COACH He's not gonna do it! No way! COLE PRL giving it his all to lift the Corporate Wall off of his feet! COACH Come on! He can't do it! No way! PRL keeps trying and trying and trying. The crowd roots him on, but the size of Wall is too much to overcome. Finally, PRL gives it one last try and is successful in lifting Wall off of his feet! COLE He's doing it! He's doing it! He's actually doing it! COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? The crowd goes nuts as PRL gets Cuban Wall higher and higher off of the mat! COLE He...just...might...do...it! Once P.R. sees Cuban Wall's feet 3 feet off of the mat, he quickly DRILLS him into the canvas with the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall! COACH AAAAH! Oh no! WALL GET UP! GET UP NOW DAMNIT! The crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall both lie on the mat, breathing hard. "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COLE But that P.R. Nightmare took a lot out of Tha Puerto Rican! Combine that with being in the Lethal Rumble Match for almost an hour, and it's no surprise that PRL is down on the mat along with Wall! COACH And Cuban Wall hasn't been in the match as long as PR has! Not to mention he's so damn big! He can recover much easier than PRL can! COLE We'll see! But I believe whoever gets up first is going to OAOAST AngleMania VII! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COLE The 'Lightning Bolts' rooting for their hero to get back up! COACH Oh, this isn't fair! This is not fair at all! Both P.R. and Cuban Wall continue lying on the mat. Both men are sweating, breathing hard, and are in pain. They both got their eyes closed. The crowd is going nuts for "The People's Champion". COLE The Corporation must be on the edge of their seats watching this! COACH Hell, I'M on the edge of my seat right now! COME ON WALL! PRL and Cuban Wall lie still on the mat, sweating, breathing hard, in pain, with their eyes closed. That is until Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH HHHHHHHH!" COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is up first! And Cuban Wall is still out! PRL bounces up and down inside the ring, getting the crowd fired up. He yells that the match is over! COACH Come on Wall! Tha Puerto Rican looks to the crowd. "THAT'S IT!" COLE Tha Puerto Rican is going for the elimination! Can he eliminate the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall and go to AngleMania? COACH No he can't! He can't do it! COLE He just might! He has performed terrifically in this year's Lethal Rumble! And he is one elimination away from getting another World Title shot, and quite possibly his well deserved one-on-one match with Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Oh God, I'm going to be sick if he does this! Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd. He motions that he is going to throw Cuban Wall over the top rope. COLE Tha Puerto Rican might be going to AngleMania VII! COACH Shut up! PRL goes to pick Cuban Wall up. As he does so, a LOUD resounding chorus of boos fill the arena. This gets PRL's attention. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK walks to the ring, wearing a black sweatshirt, and carrying the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand, and the OAOAST International Championship belt with his right hand. COACH THE CHAMP IS HERE~! COLE Oh no. What does HE want!? COACH HE is the Undisputed Champion! He wants a front row seat to find out who he's facing at AngleMania VII! Tha Puerto Rican curls his lips into a sneer when he spots Popick coming to the ring. Popick runs his mouth as he walks, getting garbage thrown his way. COACH How dare they disrespect Popick in his hometown!? COLE He hasn't done a damn thing to EARN their respect! COACH He's the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion for crying out loud! That's enough to respect him in my eyes! COLE Not for me. COACH Yeah, but you don't count. You never count. Tha Puerto Rican starts running *his* mouth, which he has no problem doing, as Popick runs his. The two comrades-turned-enemies trash talk each other. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick is the man Tha Puerto Rican might face at AngleMania VII if he eliminates Cuban Wall tonight! COACH Oh, how Popick would LOVE to get his hands on Tha Puerto Rican at AngleMania VII! Oh, how he would love to do that so much! COLE Uh-huh. Sure. Popick stops at ringside, 4 feet away from the ring and Tha Puerto Rican. He dares PRL to come and fight him right now. PRL dares Popick to enter the ring. COLE You can feel the hatred both of these men have for each other! And you can bet that PRL would love it if Popick remains World Heavyweight Champion from now until AngleMania VII, so that he can win his first World Title from him! COACH Keep dreaming, Puerto. That ain't gonna happen! COLE Popick being World Champ, or PRL winning the World Heavyweight Title? COACH What do you think, you idiot!? Popick raises both of his title belts into the air, and smiles evilly at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL does the McMahon SNEER~! in response to this. He tells Popick to come into the ring to get a piece of Tha Puerto Rican. Popick goes to enter the ring, but backs off as soon as PR comes close to him. COLE Popick is just taunting PRL! COACH He has TWO belts and PR STILL has ZERO! HA! HA! HA! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK You want this!? You'll never have it! Never! NEVER! NE-VER! Popick points to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and shakes his first finger at P.R. He then points to the OAOAST International Championship belt and also shakes his first finger at P.R. He says, "No chance! No chance in Hell!" P.R. bends down and dares Popick to get into the ring. COLE P.R. wants it now! COACH He's making a big mistake here. Popick hasn't wrestled for an hour, you know! COLE He doesn't care! He's not waiting until AngleMania! Tha Puerto Rican flips Popick off, and then tells him to "JUST BRING IT!" POPICK You want me to bring it? You want me to bring it? I'll bring it! Oh yeah, I'll bring it! I'll bring it all right! I'll bring it! I'LL BRING IT! YOU WANT ME? YOU GOT ME! I'LL BRING IT! I'LL BRING IT RIGHT NOW! I'LL BRING IT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! LET'S GO! The crowd starts cheering loudly. COLE The crowd wants it now! Tha Puerto Rican wants it now! PRL keeps saying, "Come on! Come on!" But Popick continues running his mouth, issuing threats to The Great One. "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" COACH HE DOES NOT SUCK! COLE These fans letting Stephen Joseph know exactly how they feel in his hometown! COACH They're jealous! All of them! Popick's the best thing to come out of Atlanta! SJ tells some fans near him to shut their mouths. P.R. tells Popick once again to come into the ring. Popick seems hesitant to do so. COACH Get him, Popick! Get him! The crowd is at a fever pitch. Tha Puerto Rican tells Popick one more time to "JUST BRING IT!" Stephen Joseph Popick sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK All right, that's it you piece of crap! Your ass is mine! Stephen Joseph Popick drops the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt onto the floor. He then rolls up his sleeves, spits in both of his hands, rubs them together, jumps up and down in place, lets out a yell, and then rushes forward-- At the same time, Cuban Wall delivers a BIG BOOT to the back of Tha Puerto Rican’s head!!! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Stephen Joseph Popick stops in his tracks as Tha Puerto Rican staggers in the ring thanks to the big boot. He uses the top ring rope to prevent himself from falling onto the mat. However, that just gives Cuban Wall the perfect opportunity to grab PRL's legs... ...flip Tha Puerto Rican up into the air... ...over the top ring rope... *THUD!* ...AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN’S WHOLE ENTIRE BODY HITS THE PROTECTIVE MATS, WITH STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK STANDING OVER HIM~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE WAIT A MINUTE! NO! NO! NO! *DING DING DING* (61:09) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Popick immediately starts jumping up and down in celebration. Tha Puerto Rican is only face down on the ground for two seconds before he lifts his head up and looks up to the ring to see that his worst fear has come true. COLE CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! COACH YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THA PUERTO RICAN ENTERED: 1st LEFT: 29th TIME IN RING: 1:01:09 ELIMINATED: The Bone Thug, Mr. Boricua, Spanish Fly, Vitamin X ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH WINN0R~!: Cuban Wall ENTERED: 18th TIME IN RING: 32:17 ELIMINATED: Todd Cortez, Reject, John Brickston (co), Tha Puerto Rican ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLL! COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation snags the Lethal Rumble Match for the first time ever! COACH And it's the CORPORATE Wall that does it for them! HA! HA! HA! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. Stephen Joseph Popick unrolls his sleeves and dusts his hands, an evil smile on his face. Fans throw garbage in his direction, which causes Popick to taunt those that do. COLE And you know what this means... COACH Yes, Cuban Wall gets the $1 million! COLE AND Cuban Wall will face Stephen Joseph Popick at AngleMania VII! COACH Oh, that is a Dream Match to be sure! Cuban Wall gets to live out his dream in front of over 100,000 people in the L.A. Coliseum! It doesn't get any better that that! Tha Puerto Rican sits up on the outside, PISSED OFF~! COLE Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania, and Tha Puerto Rican is LIVID! PRL looks at Popick, who is pointing and laughing at him. This is more than enough for Tha Puerto Rican to get up and chase Stephen Joseph Popick! Popick tries to back off, but PR grabs him and starts punching him in the face to the crowd's delight! COACH Look at this! COLE And PR taking it to the World Heavyweight Champion! To the man who ROBBED him of his shot at the belt at AngleMania VII! COACH It was Cuban Wall who threw him over the top rope! COLE But it was Popick who distracted him! Popick used PR's own hatred against him to lure him away from Cuban Wall, and therefore LOSE the Lethal Rumble Match! COACH Popick didn't screw P.R. P.R. SCREWED P.R.! Popick fights back with a few punches of his own, but Tha Puerto Rican is able to quickly regain the advantage, nailing his former "Career Consultant" with rights and lefts! Popick becomes dazed because of these punches, and staggers back to the entrance with PRL following him, hitting him in the back as they run! COLE PR is beating the hell out of the Champion! COACH He choked...AGAIN! And he was so close this time too! COLE He didn't choke! He was SCREWED! COACH He didn't get the job done. Again. That is the important thing. No wonder Lindsay, Popick, and everyone else dumped his ass! Popick goes for a punch near the entrance, but PR blocks it, and then chases Popick through the curtains. COACH Go get him Popick! Cuban Wall is on his knees raising his hands in victory while looking up to the sky. Referee Earl Hebner raises Wall’s hands in victory to loud boos. COACH This is without a doubt the greatest night in Cuban Wall’s life! A guaranteed, GUARANTEED trip to the main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII and an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match is in the future for that man right there! And he's also now $1 million richer thanks to eliminating his ex-boss! There ain't no better time than now to be Cuban Wall! COLE Cuban Wall has won the Lethal Rumble Match! Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on Tha Puerto Rican! We will have an All-Corporate AngleMania VII main event on March 30th! COACH It's going to be the CORPORATE AngleMania! Cuban Wall gets up and walks around the ring raising his hands in victory as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE Cuban Wall has shocked the world! He has pulled off the upset! COACH How is this an upset? He's 6'7" 285 pounds for crying out loud! COLE Be real, Coach! He wasn't a favourite to win! Zack, Bohemoth, Leon Rodez, Tha Puerto Rican! THEY were some of the favourites! Not a lot of people thought Cuban Wall would get this far, but he has! HE is the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner! COACH Well now Cuban Wall can join some of the greats in the annals of time! His name is now listed among all of the other Lethal Rumble winners. TheSoleSurvivor, Angle-Plex, Calvin Szechstein, Axel, Alfdogg, Zack Malibu, and now CUBAN WALL! The GREATEST of them all! COLE Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania! Cuban Wall is now $1 million richer! Cuban Wall is now in contention for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! COACH Oh yeah! Dreams DO come true here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air and lets out a mighty roar! The crowd boos loudly. Wall gives the crowd the "Up yours!" gesture and then does the Corporate Salute! The camera cuts to the entrance where Vitamin X is walking to the ring with a champagne bottle in his right hand and a champagne glass in his left hand. The Bone Thug, a serious expression on his sunglasses-covered face, walks to the ring behind X, also carrying a champagne glass in his left hand. X has a wide EVIL smile on his face, laughing manically as he applauds his partner’s victory. COACH Let the celebration begin! COLE The SJPC members coming out now to celebrate Cuban Wall's victory! COACH He deserves it! This is his night! This is the Corporation's night! VX enters the ring and offers his buddy a handshake, which Wall accepts. The fans boo, disgusted by all of this. The Bone Thug enters the ring and nods his head at Wall. Wall nods back. The Bone Thug has a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head and another one covering his mouth. Mr. Boricua enters the ring, he too carrying a champagne glass in his right hand, and he gives Wall a great big bear hug lifting him off of the mat! Mr. B squeezes Cuban Wall a little too tight, and Wall has to yell at Boricua to let go. MR. BORICUA Sorry. CUBAN WALL That's okay, Boricua. Thomas Rodriguez enters the ring, also carrying a champagne glass in his right hand, and he congratulates Wall on winning the Lethal Rumble Match. Thomas hugs Wall. Spanish Fly, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, and Princess Stacey all enter the ring, each one carrying a champagne glass, and they all congratulate Cuban Wall too. Lindsay gives Wall a hug and a kiss, as does Princess Stacey. Spanish Fly high fives Cuban Wall and then pulls him in for a hug. COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is out here in full force, celebrating the victory of THAT man, Cuban Wall! COACH This is his night! He has never been happier! COLE He is the #1 Contender! He gets his shot at AngleMania on March 30th! COACH I love it! Stephen Joseph Popick comes out through the curtains, dusting himself off. He has a cigar in his mouth and a champagne glass in his right hand as he comes to the ring, applauding Cuban Wall. The crowd boos loudly. COLE And Popick is back out here! COACH All right! He gets to celebrate with his family! COLE I have been told that Tha Puerto Rican is backstage being held back by security! Seems as though security broke up the fight between P.R. and Popick! COACH Good! Make sure that sore loser stays far away from the SJPC! Do NOT let him ruin this for them! Stephen Joseph continues applauding Wall as he climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. He congratulates Wall with a handshake, and then pulls him in for a hug. Popick tells Wall, "I knew you could do it!" Wall says, "Thank you, Boss." Popick says, "See you at AngleMania!" COLE Stephen Joseph Popick, if he is a man of his word, will now pay Cuban Wall $1 million for eliminating Tha Puerto Rican! COACH 'If' he is a man of his word? Oh Michael Cole, he IS a man of his word! He damn well is! COLE Somehow I doubt that, but if you say so. Either way, the money stays in the Corporation, as Vitamin X's partner in Brains & Brawn gets $1 million from X's bank account! COACH 1 million smackeroos for the Muscle for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! Now THAT'S a payday! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLL! COLE ...Did Vitamin X just tell Michael Buffer to announce the winner again? COACH Why yes he did. COLE Oh brother. Oh come on now! Stephen Joseph Popick raises Cuban Wall's right hand in victory and points to him. He then poses for the fans himself. The crowd boos loudly. Popick takes a cigar out of his right pants pocket and hands it over to Cuban Wall. Popick then takes another cigar out from his right pants pocket and hands it over to Vitamin X. He repeats the process with Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, and Thomas Rodriguez. Cuban Wall lights up his cigar with a lighter handed to him by Thomas Rodriguez, and then takes a giant puff. Wall blows out smoke into the arena. Wall grins evilly. COLE And now some celebratory cigars. COACH Straight from Cuba! Cuban Cigars for Cuban Wall! COLE That's nice. COACH It is, isn't it? Screw those smoking bans! The male members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation walk around the ring with cigars in their mouths and champagne glasses in their hands. Vitamin X lights his cigar up, as does Stephen Joseph Popick. Mr. Boricua chomps down on his cigar, while Spanish Fly and Thomas Rodriguez pose with cigars in their mouths, unlit. The two female members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation just applaud Wall, Lindsay having the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her left shoulder. Cuban Wall laughs it up with Popick, gloating over his victory. The Bone Thug just stares at the crowd with a cigar in his mouth. COLE Regardless of who wins at AngleMania VII, the World Title will stay in the Corporation. COACH And that's just what Popick wants! He predicted it! He prophesized it! He said that there was 'No Chance In Hell' that Tha Puerto Rican would win the Lethal Rumble Match...and he was right! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick baited Tha Puerto Rican! He distracted him allowing Cuban Wall to pick up the victory! Fireworks explode over the ring. Pyro goes off from the ring posts. Pyro explodes in the entrance. Cuban Wall smiles, then laughs maniacally. COLE I bet Popick used his Corporate Connections to set this up too, didn't he? COACH Probably. It is an awesome fireworks display, though, am I right? Cuban Wall hugs Popick as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds has to be restarted. Spanish Fly enters the ring with both the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt. He hands both belts over to Popick. Popick thanks Fly for that, and then raises both belts in the air to tremendous boos. Popick sneers at the crowd. COLE And he has cause for celebration too. He is now the UNDISPUTED One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! COACH That's right! Everything went his way tonight! This was the perfect CORPORATE night for Stephen Joseph Popick! COLE We now have an Undisputed World Champion, and if all goes according to Popick's plan, then Stephen Joseph Popick vs. Cuban Wall for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship will be the main event for OAOAST AngleMania VII on Sunday March 30, 2008 from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California! COACH It is going to be the greatest main event in AngleMania history, hell, the greatest main event in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! Garbage gets thrown into the ring. Popick puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder, and the OAOAST International Championship belt over his right shoulder. Vitamin X grabs the champagne bottle and shakes it up. The cork pops, and then X pours champagne into everyone's champagne glasses. COACH Time to pop the bubbly! Mr. Boricua grabs the bottle and drinks from it, until Cuban Wall snatches the bottle away from him...and drinks from it himself. COACH It must be nice, expensive champagne. But he's earned it! Garbage is still being thrown into the ring. After everyone has a glass filled with champagne, the SJPC members all gather around in a circle. POPICK A toast to the CORPORATE #1 Contender, Cuban Wall! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK CORPORATION CHEERS! Everyone in the SJPC taps their glasses together and then drink the champagne. COLE 63 days from now Cuban Wall is going to be in the biggest match of his career. In just 63 more days he could be the next World Heavyweight Champion! COACH And best of all, Tha Puerto Rican is nowhere near the Title scene! COLE He will be in the hunt, I am sure of it. But he'll just have to wait 64 more days until his next shot! COACH Like Wall would ever give him a shot! How about 164 more days? Or 264? Or 364? Or 464? Or 564? Or 664? Or 764? Or 864? Or 9-- COLE Coach, we get it! COACH Ass. Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug head to the four turnbuckle corners and climb onto the second turnbuckles, each one with a cigar in their mouths and a champagne glass in their hands. Spanish Fly does The Outsiders "pointing" taunt along with Thomas Rodriguez and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Princess Stacey claps her hands. Mr. Boricua spits out the chomp bits of his cigar, and then snorts, screams, yells, and cracks his knuckles. COACH This is how you do a celebration! A CORPORATE celebration! COLE Oh come on now! COACH This is beautiful! I am getting choked up watching this! COLE Oh please! Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder, and the OAOAST International Championship belt over his right shoulder, takes a giant puff from his cigar and then blows it out into the crowd. He then offers a "toast" to the fans, and then downs the rest of his glass of champagne from the champagne glass. He then sneers at the crowd. Vitamin X also takes a giant puff from his cigar and blows it out into the crowd, as does Cuban Wall. Wall, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug all finish their glasses of champagne too. THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! Popick gets off of the second turnbuckle and hugs Vitamin X. He then hugs Cuban Wall again. X pours himself, Popick, and Wall more champagne into their champagne glasses and they continue drinking as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE He had help. Popick lended him a helping hand! He distracted PRL! COACH I don't care how he did it! The important thing is we have got ourselves an all CORPORATE AngleMania main event! Popick vs. Wall! I can’t wait! Stephen Joseph and Cuban Wall head to opposite turnbuckle corners and raise their hands in victory. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick points to her husband saying, "That's my man!" While Vitamin X points to Cuban Wall and says, "YEAH! BOO-YAH~!" The crowd boos. COLE Popick, Cuban Wall, both victors tonight! And they are both now on a collision course to AngleMania VII! COACH This is going to be so cool! I can’t wait! The countdown is on! 63 days and counting! Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph Popick are on the Road To AngleMania VII! SJP gets off of the second turnbuckle and offers up another toast with his Corporation members. They all drink the champagne again, and then Popick high fives Wall and VX. He kisses his wife on the lips. The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the Lethal Rumble Match, starting with Stephen Joseph Popick pretending that he was going to attack Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Popick had him distracted! He acted like he was going to fight PRL, but it was all a ploy! Cuban Wall had recovered from the P.R. Nightmare and gave Tha Puerto Rican a big boot to the back of the head! P.R. stumbled, Cuban Wall grabbed P.R. by the legs and lifted him up and over the top rope and onto the floor! Tha Puerto Rican was eliminated, Cuban Wall collects the $1 million bounty on PRL and Cuban Wall is ALSO going to AngleMania VII! And Stephen Joseph Popick couldn't be any more happier! His arch-rival is NOT going to be in the AngleMania VII main event! But Popick himself might be if he remains OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion from now until March 30th! COACH I knew he could do it! I knew he could eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall has won the Lethal Rumble Match and he is going to AngleMania! The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to live action as the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all continue celebrating in the ring, gloating over their victory. They all laugh maniacally and pose for the fans. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick becomes the Undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion in his hometown. Cuban Wall gets the biggest win of his career thus far and is going to be in the main event of the biggest show of the year. This was without a shadow of a doubt the biggest, most memorable night in the history of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. Cuban Wall has won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match! Cuban Wall is going to OAOAST AngleMania VII! For Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman, I'm Michael Cole saying so long from OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia, and we'll see you this week on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Stephen Joseph Popick pours champagne from the champagne bottle onto Cuban Wall's head. Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez and Spanish Fly all dump the champagne from their champagne glasses onto Cuban Wall's head too. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Princess Stacey, The Bone Thug, and Mr. Boricua all applaud Cuban Wall some more. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all laugh maniacally. Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air again as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds ends. The crowd boos loudly. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ WAY TO GO! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK CONGRATS WALL! SPANISH FLY EXCELLENT JOB, BRO! PRINCESS STACEY WOOOOO! THE BONE THUG Gran parte felicitaciones por su gran victoria. MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRRR. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK EXCELLENT! SIMPLY EXCELLENT! VITAMIN X YEAH BABY! CUBAN WALL YEAH! Stephen Joseph Popick, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug and Thomas Rodriguez continue their celebration even as the credits roll and people begin leaving the Phillips Arena. With "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds having just ended, the only sounds you hear in the arena are of the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation whooping and hollering and boos from the fans that are still in their seats. But the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is still celebrating, happy over what's gone down tonight as Stephen Joseph Popick is still the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion and Cuban Wall has won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match, in addition to $1 million. But they are also celebrating because of one very important fact: Tha Puerto Rican is NOT going to AngleMania. FADE OUT Edited January 29, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
