Lei Tong

It was just a coincidence. He was actually crying that Liborio is cutting him off at an even dozen bolos between training sessions. *insert Carano comparison*

His whole look is pretty unbecoming of a biker, but a consistently clean pair of white sneakers for a guy who (presumably) spends much of his time working on and riding a motorcycle comes off as a bit odd.

IE- the loss of female MMA in it's current form would effect me about as much as the elimination of every MMA fighter above 250lbs.

Only female athletes, who consistently produce less entertaining and athleticly inferior versions of most sports, whose audiences end up featuring broad sections of males (and sometimes dykes) who view said athletes as little more than eye candy.

Well, luckily I'm not too vested in women's MMA ever being taken seriously.

Considering she actually made the limit (or at least one pound above with an allowance) of the weight class (largely made up for her sake), it's an improvement for her. Good to see her finally overcome such a harsh system. *rolleyessmileyfacething*

Nah, I just hate Guamanians and the Jews.

Shane Nelson and Junie Browning are the two best lightweights I think... And I think Kristof will win the division. And no one fucked themselves more then Rampage as far as making picks goes. I'm not saying Mir's picks were the worst ever, but they weren't that good considering he had first pick (like Penn). I'd take Bader over Kristof, as Soszynski has had problems with good, strong wrestlers in the past. Also, I see Nover & Escudero as being comperable picks to Browning (and all three as better than Nelson, IMO), without the "me first" baggage that looks like it will get either of Mir's top 2 LW's in trouble. Magalhaes was a risky second pick at LHW, though I won't fault him too harshly considering the dearth of talent in that division this season.

Mir fucked himself to a BJ Penn-esque level with his picks. Also, Junie's an annoying fuck. Crying about having no one and wanting the other fighters to respect you one night, only to be all piss & vinegar the next night over a show of camradery? EAD, redneck.

Murderlicious.

Also, though I realize this shit isn't MMA related, I feel like I can only share these stories with you guys, as any random poster on the site would likely think of me as a giant, self-fellating bullshitter. YER MA BOYS!

I wouldn't say I worked long enough to know a large number of them, but I guess a few would be: - Never rat. You simply don't do it. Not to the owner, not to the cops, not to a bouncer's woman. If you have a problem with something another bouncer is doing, you bring it up with him and give him a chance to set things straight. When you're relying on other guys to have your back in a fight and vice versa, the quickest way to find yourself getting jumped with no back-up is to gain a reputation as a snitch. - Don't bring stupid friends to the club. Anyone who you bring to the club, introduce to and ask the other bouncers to look after reflects directly on you. So if your friends are constantly annoying, shit-talking or get into fights constantly, you're an asshole for making us have to deal with them and cut them slack when we'd like nothing more than to give them a quick punch to the mouth. - Treat another bouncer's girl like you would a little sister. You watch out for her and keep her out of trouble while never letting any weird sexual tension cause you to do anything stupid. This however, does NOT apply to the owner's or the DJs' girls, especially if they and/or their man are annoying. I'll probably add more later.

Also, my brother remarked that it's a good thing our manager wasn't there, as he's very protective of my brother's wife. The last time girls tried to fight her, he was essentially choke-throwing them out of the door (think Kit Cope/Kenny Florian).

So the aforementioned night was just another one of those bad, "full moon" nights, so to speak. On nights like that, there's really no way to avoid the drama and fights that're going to happen, so all you can really do is prepare yourself for a long night of bullshit. Exacerbating the situation was that one of my brother's 1% biker friends was there with his then-girlfriend. The way my brother explained it to me was that by this guy coming to "his" club, my brother was basically responsible to make sure that nothing bad happened to this guy. And if something WERE to happen and he gets jumped: "Then (all of us bouncers) better end up just as fucked up as him, or else the rest of his chapter are going to come by and wonder why we didn't do more to protect him." So yeah, added pressure. I remember there was alot of hostility in the air throughout the night, but things (luckily) didn't come to a head until shortly before closing, about 1:20 or so. As was the usual modus operandi on this kind of night, one fight would quickly start a chain reaction, as succeptable patrons tend to have two thoughts going at the time: "Hey, I want to fight, too!" and "Hey, all the bouncers are busy breaking that scrap up over there. Guess this is as good of a time as any." The next thing you know, you're running back and forth, inside and outside the club, from fucked up situation to fucked up situation. Anyways, the fights were mostly bitch-on-bitch, meaning that while we ourselves weren't in as much danger of collateral damage, you have a somewhat hard-to-read gray area as far as how to handle a female intent on fighting to the death. In general, my personal strategy usually consisted of solely wrestling with them, which included figure-four'ing their arms and prying their fingers off of another girl's hair. By the end of scuffles like this, you can usually expect to find clumps of hair on the ground, purse contents spilled all across the floor, and a stray shoe, usually with some other girl's blood on it. Anyways, after getting the fights largely settled, we turned the lights on a few minutes early and tried to quickly empty the club, which we did by and large. However, one last remaining group of girls decides to get into it, and with the bouncers now spread out due to needing to secure the parking lot, this one took a bit more effort to breakup. We manage to get things squared away, but as we try to get one of the girls to leave, my brother's wife and his biker friend's girlfriend are sitting together at a booth, laughing amongst themselves over something or another. The amped up bitch of course assumes they're having a laugh at her expense, so with a quick "FUCK YOU, BITCH!" and throwing of a cup of water at the two, things go from bad to worse. I swear to God, the biker's girl seemed to leap out of her seat, over the table and pounce on this bitch like a fucking cheetah. As those two start wrestling around on the floor, my brother's wife grabs a beer bottle and fastballs it towards the ground, narrowly missing both girls' heads as it shatters into a thousand pieces. Those of us around quickly tried to break it up, showing a bit more aggression in trying to protect a couple of our own, so to speak. I backed off rather than make the clusterfuck anymore confusing and dangerous, but only had a moment to try and gather myself before I had a bad inkling and turned around. Charging at me from the front door was some skinny, Indian-looking dude who, in retrospect, looks ALOT like Papa CJ. So the guy comes charging at me, and instinctually thinking he's going to double leg me (because so many guys on the street know how to shoot a proper double, right?), I began changing levels to either sprawl or take him down myself. However, the guy instead manages to headlock me and we fall to the ground in an awkward sort of dog fight position. As soon as we hit the floor, the guy immediately starts digging his fingers around my face, trying to find his way to my eyes. Within a second, I start feeling the unmistakable vibrations of blows landing. Now, far be it for me to have a bleeding heart for a guy who just tried to pop my eyes out of their sockets, but the sheer volume and power of the blows I could feel traveling through this guy's body left me feeling a little sorry for anyone on the receiving end. My brother is stomping the side of his head; his biker friend kicking his head with his boots; another bouncer is more or less stabbing him in the ribs with a MagLite; asssorted other bouncers are kicking whatever empty space they can find on his body. One of the girls begins screaming and sobbing "STOP IT! YOU'RE HURTING MY BROTHER!" and trying to get herself involved physically. Yet through of all of this, the guy maintains a fucking death grip on my head, his thinking likely being "Man, if I let this guy go, they're going to kill me." I eventually manage to roll out from under him as a DJ's cousin tries to grovit the guy, and me and another bouncer drag the guy out the front door. My brother grabs his sobbing sister and walks her to the door, shoves her out and launches an NFL-style drop kick to her ass, later claiming "I probably smashed her taint into a third hole." However, after an initial fall and shock, she regroups and tries to rush inside the club again, with my brother barely able to close the door in time. By now, we're all thinking/hoping that the bullshit is now over, me and a few other begin checking ourselves for cuts caused by broken glass all across the floor, when my brother asks "Hey, where's (my friend)?" Almost on cue, we hear a commotion outside, and my brother begins holding his friend back as a DJ is being restrained by friends a few feet away. At this point, the biker yells out "YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH A (club name)?!," at which point me and my brother both let out inner bitch-yelps, as throwing out the club's name means that he intends to turn this into something much more serious. Luckily, my brother calms his friend down and takes responsibility for not introducing him to every staff member, and assures him that the DJ had no clue who he was and was simply trying to calm everyone down. He then related to said DJ just how close he was to getting stabbed, which led to profuse apologizing to the biker. I later asked my brother if it was really necessary to scare the DJ that badly (almost to the point of tears), to which he responded "Really, I toned it down for him. If that situation had escalated anymore, he would've been back next week with the brothers and fire-bombed the club." By that point, it was almost anti-climactic that a group of regulars tried to come in through the back gate shortly after the biker/DJ encounter, presumably to try and help the DJ. At that point my brother, fed up with the night in general and wanting to protect his friend from anymore drama, threw the table blocking the gate away, and started stalking the guys, who immediately recognized him and backed down. My brother doesn't like these guys anyway, and so threatened to stab them if they didn't bounce right away, advice they quickly took to heart. So yeah, that was fun.

YOU'RE flaming. *high five* Anyways, I'll probably throw up the one about how me and my brother were worried the bar was going to get fire-bombed by bikers sometime tonight.

Hey, now. No flaming.

It's probably better that I passed out, or else Curry would bitch about me posting in incorrect threads and whatnot.

So what the fuck is up with Jax's clean, white sneakers? Seriously?

I was formerly what I referred to myself as a "wetback triple threat:" I was a landscaper, spinkler installer, and pool cleaner. After I decided I didn't want to spend the rest of my years doing hard, manual labor, I started working with my brother as a bouncer. I did that for a little while, and then took a simultaneous job as a food manager at Pretzelmaker (PM, REPRAZENT!). I've since left both jobs, and am currently drinking myself to death as I look for another dead-end job.[/sobstory] < drunk

More drunken bouncer stories: yay or nay?

For anyone who didn't miss the first couple of episodes like I did: are the gun battles on the show generally of the A-Team variety like depicted at the NV clubhouse?

Any pacifism is offset by the roid rage.

Nevermind. You ruined it.

Also he didn't really call him out, he was pretty respectful and said that's a fighter he'd want to face. With Diaz vs Alvarez being rumored for the vacant EliteXC LW title, that pretty much puts the kibosh on Eddie/Hansen II so Thomson may very well get his wish. Pretty even fight but I'd give Hansen the advantage on the ground and Thomson a slight advantage (if that) standing.

Pretty decent from what I've seen, but like with any gang-inspired show or movie, some of the inaccuracies can be a bit irksome.