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Since the talent will do most of the 'heavy-lifting' when it comes to winning games, I don't think a coach will play as large of a role in our league as it does IRL. Thus, I'm going with a guy that will help draw attention to the team in Boston, a city that has hockey in 4th place in their hearts right now. Don Cherry, coach of the Northern Lights Five. And my lines? Joe Juneau Joe Thornton Cam Neely (I don't like the idea of Juneau on the 1st line, but he went for 30 & 72 with Oates & Neely, and Thornton > Oates) Luc Robitaille Sidney Crosby Peter Bondra Stephane Richer Pat Lafontaine Tony Amonte Bernie Nicholls Howie Morenz Terry O'Reilly Doug Harvey Rod Langway Dit Clapper Kevin Hatcher Mike Ramsey Lyle Odelein Ken Dryden / Pelle Lindbergh (they'd split playing time pretty much 50/50 unless one was playing noticably better) EDIT: I never named a captain; Terry O will wear the C, and Neely & Harvey will wear the A's.

First, it was a joke. Second, you're right, I rarely post in this folder. I did a few times during one of the TUF seasons a few years ago, but really don't follow the sport closely enough to converse with most of you. I read the threads frequently - especially the PPV threads - but wouldn't be able to really hang with you guys in terms of knowledge, so don't bother posting my two-cents and wasting anyone's time. Third, while my post was meant good-naturedly, it's funny to me that you'd go out of your way to condemn "fighter bashing" one day and then speak negatively about a fighter the next. Methinks you were so quick to condemn "fighter bashing" yesterday because it was the guy that you supported being bashed ... and then so quick to knock Danzig today because he was speaking favorably of the guy that just beat the guy that you support. Practice what you preach, EHME.

Yeah, so far, so good ... I'll have to admit that I've never seen Zombie Bloodbath, as I try to avoid the (as you appropriately referenced) Shot on Camcorder genre. While I applaud someone's willingness to make a movie on the cheap and push it out there, I want at least a semblance of professionalism in the output, and most of the ones that I've seen have lacked that. But having said that, Carnival of Souls is painfully overlooked, and giving it a 10/10 is most assuredly accurate, and as a huge fan of Italian horror I have to give you a golf clap for the The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue review ... and for the heads-up about the 2-disc DVD that was released. Looks like I'll be doing some shopping this weekend.

I say this in 100% seriousness ... couldn't you just piss on the toilet seat and quasi-wash the bloody diarrhea off with that? And then after that you're just cleaning up your own urine, and that's not nearly as gross.

I didn't really care for I Stand Alone. It was decent, and you're most assuredly right in calling it bleak, but it's just not that good of a movie. Baise Moi and Inside are both infinitely more entertaining. Speaking of French cinema ... I finally got around to watching Frontier(s) last night. Wasn't that impressed. One of my biggest complaints was that it didn't do a good job of making the protagonists likeable enough to make me want to root for them. In a movie where people are getting tortured/killed/etc by Nazi-loving cannibals, I really shouldn't be rooting for the neo-Nazis. On top of that - and I'll try to avoid spoilers - it was one of those movies where the bad guys became unfathomably inept in the flip of a switch. Unable to shoot straight so dozens of bullets miss someone that's right across the room, or all of a sudden unwilling to just pull the trigger when they have someone at gunpoint. I recognize that it's done to keep the alleged good guys alive, but it drives me insane when movies resort to that. It wasn't a bad movie per-se, but it really wasn't all that good. I'd give it a 5/10 and a "see it but don't go out of your way to see it." It got the reputation because so many people made such a big stink about how "~extreme~!" it was; for me, it was noteworthy because it was one of the first US-made movies that was that unrepentantly (and non-supernaturally) violent . The J-Horror industry had been doing it for years, but other than tiny underground US flicks, there really wasn't a market here. And then Hostel came out and kind of brought it to the mainstream. But I think most of the people that ranted about how extreme it was did so because they hadn't seen anything like it. And I'll admit that the one thing that bothers me in movies is teeth extraction. I find it borderline unwatchable, for some reason.

While most of the horror movies that came out in the 90s were terrible, I think that Exorcist III was scarier than any & all horror movies of the 80s. No lie.

Land of the Dead. Wow, was that ever a horrible movie.

Hopefully this doesn't give new life to the catfight that was "what is torture porn?" but I watched The Machine Girl over the weekend ... and, damn, Jingus if that movie was too close to "torture porn" for you, you really & truly have to avoid the Hostel movies and the like with all of your might. The Machine Girl was closer to a Troma movie than anything that I'd consider disturbing in the vein of Hostel. It was a live action manga; hell, I'd say that Sin City is a reasonable comparison for it. My overall take: It was quite obviously played for laughs, and not in the good way, IMHO. It seemed to convey the "we're in on the joke" mentality that really detracts from a movie in my mind. Ichi the Killer or Battle Royale, for example, were not supposed to be taken seriously but were still portrayed as serious movies. The Machine Girl was way too "wink, wink" for my liking. The acting was decent (I was surprised to find out that the girl that played Ami hadn't acted before) and the plot was servicable. All in all, though, I think that it was just Ok - good but certainly not great.

Did we not just spend like twenty posts lamenting the overexposure of the Yankees and Red Sox? Now the Rockies finally get a national game and we question that. Uncanny. What do you propose we call the AL All-Stars? The Red Yanks, the Yank Sox, or Douchebag United? My preference is Douchebag United. It has a European flair. Where's this impending Cub dominance? I don't see it. They're regressing and will continue to do so. Their slated #3 pitcher just flunked out of the goddamn Rookie League, he's lost the strike zone that much. You're just jinxing them like I jinx the other teams by complimenting how goooooooood they look. I like how a Cubs fan is whining about the number of Yanks & Sawks on the AL All-Star team, while ignoring the fact that the Cubs are every bit as represented as Boston and have twice as many reps as NY. Number of starters, position players: Boston 4 (including the DH spot), Chicago 3, NYY 2 Number of pitchers: Chicago 3, NY & Boston 1 each Number of reserves: Boston 2, Chicago 1, NY none Total # of All Stars: Boston 7, Chicago 7, NY 3 ... damn you, MLB, for forcing so many Red Sox & Yanks in the game while small-market & low-payroll teams like the Cubs go unnoticed.

On behalf of the Boston Bruins fan base, I'd like to extend an offer of Glen Murray & Manny Fernandez to help the Kings reach the Salary Cap floor. I'd even be willing to throw in PJ Axelsson and/or Peter Schaefer as further enticement.

Closing out my forwards, I'll take Tony Amonte, RW. Scored 30+ goals five times, and 40+ goals another three times. Five time all star. A Masshole, and a team can't ever have too many players from the Mighty Massachusetts.

No time for a picture, but the Five select Joe Juneau. 102 points as a rookie (including a LW record 70 assists), a good playoff run with the Caps, and potentially a good yodeler.

Bondage, chloroform, and foot fetish videos =/= "Skinemax style videos". They're straight up porn. Having said that, though, they don't make her a slut. They make her a porn actress, and there's a social stigma associated with that career choice. And "slut" is part of that social stigma.

Oh, tell me how my ass tastes. I'm excited from a new uniform/logo standpoint. It will be fun for 10-30 games. After that? I hope this franchise fails and Dama gains a bunch of weight or something. Fuck... OKLAHOMA CITY! MEMPHIS! ITS THE NBA ON NBC! It's hard to get a good taste of your ass with all that sand that slipped in from your vagina. I'm not quite understanding the hatred for OKC, which did all the right things to earn a team in David Stern's NBA.

Sometime's I think we do. But hopefully periodic posts with all capital letter's will solve the problem. apostrophe s

The negative reaction is because football fans were forced to listen to hours & hours of talk about the grizzled old gunslinger that was out there having fun and making plays, and how the league wouldn't ever be the same without him ... and then there's already talk of him coming back just a few months later. And the Packers couldn't ever force Favre out without facing a mountain of criticism and brutal backlash from their fans. So making it "100% clear that this is his last year, a farewell tour" would be impossible for anyone other than Favre to enforce. And Favre seemingly made it pretty clear that last year was his last year, so I think it'd be tough to be anything but cynical when he said that this is his last year. One can only hope that Favre has been staying in shape throughout the offseason (coughcoughdoubtfulcough) or else the Packers will have the pleasure of watching him work his way into shape during training camp.

Not resigning Malone & Hossa gave them the flexibility to re-up Malkin ... and Orpik, I guess. They were smart to sign him to the same deal as Crosby, too. No reason to ruffle feathers by giving one more than another. Much like I don't think it was a coincidence that Hossa went for a shade under Lidstrom, I don't think it's a coincidence that Malkin & Crosby got mirror-image deals.

She got voted off on like the 3rd day. And is most likely the victim of the editors; I'm presuming that one of the first things they all talk about is their family (marital status, kids, etc).

If you believe Matthew Barnaby, yes.

I guess it's time to name my 6th defensemen. He'll help my team with toughness (over 2000 career PIM), and is a serviceable offensive weapon (11+29 for 40 points one year) even though he's definitely a defense-first d-man. The Northern Lights Five would like to welcome Lyle Odelein to the organization.

Just a one year deal, so it doesn't hamper their cap situation next year when they have a bunch of home-grown youngsters to re-sign. And it most assuredly makes them the Cup favorites. It actually makes more sense for them than it does for him. If his numbers go down, it'll hurt his bargaing position next year. I guess he really meant it when he said he was after a Cup more than anything. And I don't get what you don't get ... how is signing the top FA on the market (for less than market value) ever a bad thing?

"Nifty" Middleton is the first pick in a while that really hurts me ... he was my absolute favorite Bruin when I was a super-young niskie. I didn't think he was in danger of going anywhere else - well, max might have taken him, but I thought he was safe. <sigh>

max, I'm with you ... I'm very much Ok with the Ryder signing. As soon as the other GM's started throwing out the monopoly money, I was afraid that Chia would follow suit and I had these visions of a 40 year old Hossa earning $10m/season in the 11th year of his contract. Am I hoping that other deals are forthcoming? Yes, most assuredly. But this signing doesn't cripple the team like a Hossa signing would have. And having said that: Last year the Bruins boards were full of "Drury is going to sign here for less than market value because he went to school here!" idiocy, and then this year it was "Hossa's going to sign here for less than market value because him and Zdeno are BFF!!" idiocy. When are fucking Bruins fans going to learn that it's a business and these players are going after a payday? It's so terribly tiresome.

You got your action flick in my torture porn! You got your torture porn in my action flick!!