Edwin MacPhisto
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Posts posted by Edwin MacPhisto
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Smarkdown returns to the airwaves, heading straight backstage and into the office of the Suicide King. Inside his office, King sits at his desk flipping frantically through papers, his brow outwardly showing his stress. The boos from ringside are obvious to everyone else but King, and he merely shoves the papers aside as if he cannot hear the crowd reaction, and quickly grabs another set.
KNOCK KNOCK!
(King) – What?
The door slides open, and in walks Ejiro Fasaki and William Hearford, both of which slowly enter the room.
(King) – I said what…I’m busy.
Judge and Fasaki look at each other, hoping not to upset King too much.
(Fasaki) – Ummm…we just wanted to come and tell you that we thought it was totally messed up what happened on Smarkdown. I mean, Thugg just showing up like that…it’s not the way owners do business.
(Judge) – Yeah, and we don’t claim to be any sort of experts on business relations, but we do know that it’s customary for owners to have meetings behind closed doors, and not in public.
(King) – Well thanks for that…but unless you intend to remove yourself from the Duh-Mobile and tell me something useful that I don’t already know…you should probably just go.
(Judge) – We know you’re busy trying to find a way to stop Thugg and the Coalition…
(King) – You think that’s it Judge? You think all I’m worried about is the fact that Thugg showed me up on national television, humiliating me in front of millions of people…forcing me to leave with my head hung low and my pride hurting…and taking from me the only thing I hold dear in the this world? If that’s the case Mr. Hearford, you are sorely mistaken. Certainly I’m upset about it, but what upsets me more is that these goddamn ungrateful wrestlers…I mean, I work hard to make this a fair, fun, and exciting place to work, and I work damn hard to make the SWF Brand the best in the world so that I can keep paying you guys what we pay you. And what kind of thanks to do I get for that? Nothing! A kick in the ass on the way out the door! Do you know what that’s like? Do you Judge? Do you Fasaki?
(Fasaki) – Well…not exactly…no.
(King) – Didn’t think so. Now I know how Stubby felt…you pour your life into something, and then the people, who’s best interest you serve, jump on the bandwagon of some crippled has been who walks in carrying some decree from on high.
(Fasaki) – You should know though, that not everyone supports Thugg and the Coalition. You know that we support you, and so does the entire Mag 7. And I’m willing to bet there are more out there that support you.
(King) – I know that Ejiro, and I thank you for your support. But, if I don’t find a way to get rid of Thugg, then your support will be all for naught. Now, if you two don’t mind, I need to get back to this…
King puts his nose back to the paper, leaving the former tag champions to show themselves the door. Fasaki and Judge to just that, but as Judge leaves, Fasaki turns back for one last word…
(Fasaki) – I don’t know…you’ve probably done this already, but have you checked to make sure that Thugg is telling the truth about owning stock in the SWF. He could be lying…
(King) – Please tell me you’re joking, right? Of course I checked that! That was the first thing I checked! Now go! And please don’t come back into my office with that kind of stuff…I need real information!
(Fasaki) – Will do boss…
Fasaki closes the door, and just as he hears the click, King frantically starts throwing papers aside until he finds the one he’s looking for. A glance at the top header, the document reads…
SWF Stockholders: A Complete List
King quickly pans down the page with his finger, his eyes going back and forth with each line he reads. Suddenly, he stops at a particular entry…
…and his eyes grow big, his mouth draws up a grin, and his entire demeanor becomes one of confidence and contentness.
He found something.
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...
As soon as Storm returns from a long break, the fans getting rather restless, the picture begins to distort, and the screen flickers and glitches as the tech guys sit back and relax, knowing exactly what is going on…
Over the speakers, a familiar voice is heard…
“…There is nothing wrong with our television set…”
“… Do not attempt to adjust the picture…”
Comet: “…And Here he comes Citizen Bobby! The man who carries the hopes of Regeneration X on his shoulders!”
“… I will control the horizontal…”
“…I will control the vertical…”
Riley: “Though he suffered a devastating defeat at the hands of Nathaniel Kibagami, falling to maybe the most dangerous move in this entire federation, the Demonstar Driver…”
“…I am controlling transmission…”
The fans already begin to boo and hiss as the picture returns to normal, but the lights in the arena begin to recede into near darkness, preceding the entrance of one Andrew Blackwell. As he walks out to meet his adoring public, Tainted by Lycia begins to play its haunting tune, and spotlights at either side of the ramp way, suddenly come to life, and swivel around, illuminating Blackwell as he stalks down the ramp way.
He does not gaze out at the crowd as he usually does; instead he keeps his head down, a burning sensation felt in his neck already. Despite this, he soldiers on and slides under the bottom rope, climbing to his feet as Funyon booms around the arena…
Funyon: “The following third round Genesis Tournament match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Adelaide, Australia…”
The fans boo at the slightest mention of a foreign country!
Comet: “These people disappoint me sometimes, Citizen Riley! Blackwell has shown no animosity towards America, yet still they boo!”
Funyon: “He stands six foot one, and weighs in at two hundred and thirty one pounds… ladies and gentleman, please welcome, the Sacred One… ANDREW BLACKWELL!”
Riley: “They’re like David Blazenwing, Comet… like, really, really stupid.”
Comet: “Is that all…?”
Riley: “That’s all that needed isn’t it?”
Comet: “Good point my friend! Anyways, this will be a terrific match up, no doubt about it! The Junior League World Heavyweight Champion, Viktor Tarakanov takes on the thunder from down under, Andrew Blackwell in the losers bracket of the Genesis Four Tourney.”
Riley: “And Blackwell was sent down here, nay, DRIVEN down here by Kibagami, who showed no mercy as he tore the Australian apart. This is a danger match for Blackwell. Lose this, and he may lose any hope of spreading this ‘experiment’ of his, but he may lose much more, like, the feeling in the lower half of his body.”
The quiet music slowly fades away… then everyone in the arena is suddenly jolted as up strikes the Soviet National Anthem! No one stands for it however, booing as fiery red pyro EXPLODES from the stage!
Riley: “And here comes the champion now! Looking as grizzly and…uh, as Russian as ever.”
Comet: “Not on you’re game tonight, Bobby? That’s ok; I’m used to carrying you. This Tarakanov is an impressive specimen, with layers of muscle underneath that thick body hair of his!”
A very loud “U – S - A!” Chant strikes up amongst the fans as Viktor checks his wrist tape and cranks his neck, gearing up for the match, whilst sneering towards the ignorant American capitalist pig dogs. As he climbs up onto the ring apron and steps into the ring, Funyon gets on the mic once again.
Funyon: “And his opponent! He hails from Astrakhan, Russia!”
Again, the fans boo the foreign devil in their midst!
Funyon: “Standing six foot six, and weighing in at two hundred and eighty pounds… he is the Red Rage, he is the Junior League World Heavyweight Champion… he is, VIKTOR TARAKANOV!”
The boos are heard once again, but Viktor just growls as he stares a hole through Sacred’s forehead, handing his title to the referee and grinning from ear to ear, pushing his neck to the side and rolling it around on his shoulders, taunting the poor Aussie.
Comet: “Such a despicable knave! I hope Sacred teaches him a lesson, and Tryst does as well when he faces him on Metal!”
Riley: “Hmmm, very nice plug Comet, you’re learning fast.”
Comet: “Well I have to, with you around!”
With the title handed to ringside, and both men ready and raring to go, the referee pounds to the time keeper, and his match is underway!
“DING! DING! DING!”
Comet: “And we are underway!”
Wasting no time, setting to the task of crushing Andrew under his mighty red fist, Tarakanov stalks forward, a satisfied grin seen under his thick beard as Blackwell slowly backs away until he cannot back away no more. Viktor finally throws the first punch, but Andrew ducks underneath it! Annoyed but thoroughly determined, Tarakanov swings his bear like arm, but Blackwell again ducks to avoid impact! The two begin to circle the ring, Tarakanov throwing vicious right hands, only to have Blackwell duck and weave away from them!
Comet: “Citizen Sacred simply MUST avoid those powerful strikes of the red menace! I can’t bear to see another friend fall to communism!”
Riley: “And he knows this, Comet. With his neck in the shape it is, he has to play this match carefully, and cautiously.”
Finally growing tired of these games, The Red Rage surprises Andrew with a boot to the midsection! Another one doubles Blackwell over, allowing Tarakanov to take him by the hand and whip him full force across the ring. As he returns, Blackwell only JUST manages to duck below a wild Lariat! Avoiding the Iron Curtain, Blackwell stops fast in his tracks, spinning around in one fluent movement, striking Tarakanov with a Spin Kick to the... NO! Viktor catches Blackwell's leg in his vice like grip! Thinking quickly, Blackwell uses Viktor's firm hold to spring himself up, hitting the Russian with an Enziguri kick to the face!
Riley: “That’s what Andrew needs to be doing, countering everything Tarakanov throws at him, and picking his spots with care.”
Blackwell forces Viktor away, but it's not long before the Red Rage sweeps across the ring in anger! He heaves his tree trunk leg from the mat, aiming for a Big Boot to the forehead! But Blackwell crouches underneath the Russian, and before Viktor can even react, kicks his other leg out from under him!
Comet: “And that’s what he had done there, Bobby my friend! He does not need to turn around and try for a risky move, all he has to do is keep it simple, and a kick to the knee joint is as simple, yet effective as you can ever get!”
The roided Russian topples and falls to one knee, giving Blackwell enough time to dropkick the Red Rage in the rear! Tarakanov rolls onto his back, and Andrew pounces on top of him into a lateral press!
Comet: “Hit and run tactics my friend, keep him down, keep the tide of communism away!”
Riley: “I doubt that’s much of a problem anymore…”
On…!
...But BARELY a one count before Tarakanov growls and powers Blackwell away! Viktor shows surprising quickness as he climbs back to his feet, even more so when he catches Blackwell's arm before he can throw one single punch! The crowd sit in awe of the Russians abilities as he takes a firm hold of Andrew and whips him one way, then back towards him again, taking him down with a BRUTAL short arm clothesline!
Comet: “Diabolical! Tarakanov is frightfully strong, and knows exactly how to punish his opponent, my dear friend Sacred! Bring this fiend down, my Australian hero! Justice ALWAYS prevails!”
Riley: “Do you ever think about what you’re saying before you talk…?”
Comet: “Justice speaks from the heart, Citizen Riley! And I hold a place in my heart for my Australian friend, just as you hold a special place in your pants for one Tom Flesher!”
Riley: “Wait… did you just say…?”
Comet: “Justice also pokes fun at your sexual orientation!”
A pin is out of the question for the SJL World Champion at this point as he grips his claws onto Blackwell's head and lifts the Australian to his feet. About now, many of Tarakanov's SWF counterparts would hit maybe a Suplex, or even a Hip Toss. Instead, Tarakanov rears back and pummels Sacred with a full-force right hand blow! The impact knocks Sacred on the flat of his back, yet he whirls right back to his feet, only to meet with another stiff punch from the Russian! Knowing his limits, the Sacred One stops the onslaught before it can begin, kicking Tarakanov in the leg not once, twice but three times! The Russian is thrown off balance for just a second, plenty of time for Sacred to capitalize with a running forearm, crunching Tarakanov’s jaw!
Comet: “Sacred aims for that leg once again. His experience always shines through in his performance, and he’s going to need every bit of it to prevail over the World Champion!”
Riley: “You make that sound like some sort of honour. C’mon Comet, It’s the damn Junior League! No one cares about that title!”
Comet: “I sense bitterness in your voice, Citizen Riley! Still remembering your loss to Fallo-“
Riley: “That was just a statistical aberration!
But still, he will not go down! The blow sends him back a step or two, but another is required, and Sacred strikes him in the face with another forearm! The Russian stumbles back into the ropes, falling on them, rebounding off the strands and back towards the Australian, who leaps into the air and snaps Viktor over in one swift movement with an Ankle Scissors!
Blackwell quickly hops over to Tarakanov, catching him before he can climb back to his feet. Standing over Viktor, Andrew lifts his head up and tucks his chin under, lifting his arms out to the side and rolling forward, putting all his weight on Tarakanov’s shoulders with a Kidou Clutch Pin!
Riley: “Intelligent move on the past of Sacred, pulling out the Kidou Clutch Pin in an extra attempt to keep the raging Russian down in hopes for the three count.”
One!
Tw…!
Comet: “… But he barely even gets two! I feared my friend’s safety before this bout even began, but after seeing Viktor’s power up close from ringside; I’m shaking in my boots!”
... Much to Sacred’s dismay, Tarakanov easily pushes Blackwell away! The Russian growls as he rubs his jaw, his eyes fixed upon Blackwell who charges once again, trying to keep the big man down on the mat…
But his plan becomes unstuck as Tarakanov lowers his head, plucking Sacred off from the mat and onto his shoulders, trying to hook his arm for the torture rack! The wily and slippery Aussie makes his escape behind Tarakanov, targeting his knee with a chop block that knocks Tarakanov to knee. The Communist climbs back to his feet, albeit with a slight hobble, but on his feet none the less. Blackwell tries a risky move in whipping Tarakanov… but the Russian simply will not budge! Andrew yanks harder, but Tarakanov holds his ground, reversing the whip, pulling Blackwell into his waiting embrace, sort of, as Tarakanov lifts Sacred up for another try at the Torture Rack!
Riley: “Viktor must already be going senile. Why does he think the move would work this time…?”
… But instead of trying to hook his arm over Sacred’s neck, Viktor just throws Blackwell out into the air, his hands taking him by the head as he drops him with a Neckbreaker!
Riley: “A brilliant and beautiful move from Tarakanov! He knows exactly what to do in this situation, and that is to simply overpower Sacred and murder his neck!”
Comet: “How can Citizen Sacred be competing tonight!? After that Demonstar Driver at the hands of Nathaniel Kibagami, I thought he had broken his neck!”
Riley: “This is Genesis we’re talking about Cyclone; no one wants to give up now! Desperate men do desperate things, and I feel it will either be the next round or bust for Sacred, and by bust I mean that he may do permanent damage to his neck if he doesn’t pull through...”
Rolling away due to the pain in his neck, Blackwell tries to reach the ropes, but Tarakanov smiles as he grabs his arms and yanks him back to the centre of the ring in one swift movement, dropping an elbow across his neck! And staying on top of him for the pinfall!
One!
TWO!
THHHHH…
NO!
Crowd: “TTTTWWWWOOOOOOOO!”
Riley: “Tarakanov nearly had Sacred done and dusted only minutes into this contest! I’m beginning to fear for Sacred’s health too, Comet…”
The little Aussie battler escapes defeat, finally reaching the ropes and attempting to climb back to his feet. He does not escape Tarakanov, however, who grabs the Australian, lifting him onto his shoulders one again, then dropping him throat first across the top rope!
Comet: “What a brute! This Tarakanov is a vile and vicious giant of injustice! Does he have no morals at all!?”
Riley: “Hoe can you pick on Tarakanov like that!? Sacred agreed to wrestle here tonight, knowing full well the risk he took! Tarakanov is simply doing what he needs to do to win!”
As much as he tries, Blackwell can’t hide from the Russian, who is in no mood for hide and go seek, more in the mood for revenge, of sorts. Taking Christian’s brother by the neck, Viktor picks him up and throws him into the turnbuckles! Tarakanov works slowly, but obviously deliberately, taking a step back before throwing himself at Andrew, crunching into him with a back elbow! The crowd boos the filthy commie, but he takes no notice as he takes pleasure in dismantling Sacred, targeting his neck with another elbow strike!
Comet: “It is still is not fair! I need to help my friend! Citizen Sacred! I’m coming!”
Riley: “You’ll do no such thing! Now sit back down! You’re days of competing are over, now you have to simply sit back and witness everything from behind this desk, and witness Tarakanov pulverize Sacred into oblivion!”
He takes a fistful of Sacred’s hair, leaning him back as he sticks a knuckle out and JABS him just above the eye! Wham! Wham! Wham! The blows keep coming, Tarakanov smelling blood and attacking with more purpose, opening up a gash above Sacred’s eye. His smile is sickening as the man known as the Red Rage takes Andrew by the hand, sending the Aussie into the opposite corner with an Irish Whip…
Charging at his prey, Tarakanov extends his arm early, confident this next blow will have Sacred reeling… but his plans are foiled by a double kick to the face from Blackwell! Viktor shakes out the cobwebs, determined to keep going, but again, Sacred places his hands on the top rope and vaults himself at Tarakanov, nailing him with another dropkick! Now visibly enraged by the Aussie battler, Tarakanov tries one final lunge, but Sacred leaps into the air with help from the ropes, taking Tarakanov around the neck with a Headscissor Takeover! NO! The Russian grabs Blackwell’s ankles and throws him over the top rope!
Comet: “Nooo! Hold on Sacred!”
… Somehow, Andrew keeps his balance and lands on the ring apron! Before he can do anything however, Tarakanov captures him with an inverted face lock over the ropes… then, he locks his leg around Blackwell’s, and yanks on his neck with a modified Dragon Sleeper!
Comet: “… I’m starting to wish he fell out onto the floor! This is just brutal! Stop this injustice at one! Where’s the referee!”
Riley: “Tarakanov won’t get himself disqualified, because that would serve no purpose what so ever. He wants to advance in the tournament, not boot himself out!”
The crowd begins to cheer as Sacred’s gasps for air and cries out in pain in the lethal, yet illegal maneuver! The referee lets the Russian know this as he pulls on his hulking shoulders while shouting:
“ONE!”
“TWO!”
Comet: “Let him go, filthy Commie!”
Riley: “Comet, please! Let’s keep this civilized! I can’t believe I just said that….”
“THREE!”
“FOUR!”
The referee is afraid to interject, but luckily for him, Tarakanov lets the hold go! But the punishment doesn’t end for Blackwell, as Viktor lifts him up from the very same position in an inverted Suplex! Wriggling and writhing desperately, Andrew somehow manages to escape, falling behind the Russian! As he does this, Blackwell takes Tarakanov around the neck, falling forward, taking him down and slamming him with a Diving Reverse DDT!
Comet: “YES! Citizen Sacred with a heroic come back!”
Riley: “Don’t be so sure Cyclone. That move took as much out of Sacred as it did Tarakanov. Blackwell is desperate to cling onto some hope of winning this match…”
The Australian can’t take the initiative however, as he rolls around on the canvas in pain, his hand gripping at his neck, whimpering at the immense pain. Despite being nailed with a DDT not twenty seconds ago, Tarakanov manages to roll across the mat and onto Blackwell, hooking one leg and laying back on him with the pin!
Riley: “Though Sacred hit the move, Tarakanov is the one to make the pinfall! That just shows how much energy the Aussie is expending.”
One!
TWO!
THHHRRRRRRR…
KICK OUT! The crowd gasp as Tarakanov slams his palm down on the mat, casting a menacing glare upon the nervous youth of a referee, who slowly backs away, insisting it was only a two count. Tarakanov knows what stakes are riding on this match, and turns his attention back towards the injured Blackwell, simply stomping away at his neck!
Tarakanov is in no mood to fuss about, bringing Blackwell back onto his feet and whipping him across the ring. Sacred hits the ropes… but grabs onto them, holding himself in place! Resembling a disgruntled Ogre, Tarakanov lumbers across the ring, ready for a mammoth collision…
THUD!
… That never comes!
Comet: “Huzzah! There’s still hope Bobby!”
Sacred ducks low, pulling the top rope down with him and Viktor tumbles out onto the floor, landing on his knees! Visibly exhausted and in distress, Blackwell crawls across the ring, holding his neck and cringing, trying to get himself as far away from Tarakanov as possible, and hopefully buy himself some time, but already, Tarakanov is getting back onto one knee, though he too is beginning to feel the pain as he whacks his left leg a few times, trying to get the feeling back into it again.
Comet: “He’s bought himself some time, now matter how little it is…”
Muttering some names under his breath at random, Blackwell climbs to his feet, his eyes wide open as his muttering grows louder. He turns his gaze toward The Red Rage, who climbs up onto the ring apron and through the ropes.
Knowing drastic action must be taken, Sacred charges across the ring with a full head of steam, but Tarakanov spots him in time and lowers his head, literally throwing the Australian over his head with a back body drop!
… But Sacred lands back on his feet! Taking a few short steps, Blackwell hits the strands and lowers his head, and like an enraged bull seeing red, the blood dropping down from above his eye, Sacred charges as Tarakanov turns around, but he’s too late to avoid the impact of…
A KAMIKAZE to the knees!
Riley: “OH MY! Blackwell took Tarakanov’s legs out from under him in spectacular fashion! Drastic action was indeed needed, and he took action! But was this the wrong move on his part? Did he hurt himself beyond repair with that spear…?”
Comet: “That’s why it’s known as the Kamikaze, Bobby, but I know he’s all right! The damage has been done to Tarakanov, getting hit with the hardest, most deadly chop block ever!”
The force behind the deadly spear cause Tarakanov to flip one whole revolution in the air and land back down on his back! Viktor immediately clutches at his left leg, banging it on the mat, frustrated that he cannot pull himself together and get back to his feet. Blackwell lies motionless for now, but the whole crowd can hear his muffled cries of agony.
The crowd is still shocked at the events that have unfolded, but they soon break out into cheers of joy as they watch both men writhe in pain on the mat. But to their dismay, Tarakanov begins to show sings of life, dragging his sorry Russian carcass across the canvas and throwing himself across Blackwell’s chest!
Riley: “But again, Tarakanov is the one to seize upon the pinning opportunity! And now he may just have it!”
The referee slides over!
One!
TWO!
THHHHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE…
HE KICKS OUT! The crowd lets out a mighty roar as a different sort of cry is heard from Tarakanov, one of frustration. His leg may be wobbly, but yet he manages to pull himself to his feet, slowly making his way over to the brutalized Australian. Viktor takes Andrew by the scruff of the neck, watching the blood trickle down from the cut above his eye.
Comet: “Sacred is in a bad, bad way… but he has been in much more dire situations than this one, and if anyone can deal with it, he can!”
The Red Rage grabs his foe by the hand and violently whips him across the ring, slamming him into the turnbuckles! The force cause Sacred to stumble forward, still not fully in control of his movements, and Tarakanov lowers his head and throws him into the air, ready to slam Andrew back down with a Spinebuster!
… No! Blackwell plants his hands on Tarakanov’s shoulders and sits himself atop of the big Russian! The sudden weight placed on Viktor cause him to stumble around a tad as his leg begins to falter, ready to fold at any second…
Comet: “This was what Blackwell had in mind going into this match, weaken Tarakanov’s leg to somehow counteract the injury to his neck, but they may just be an impossible task…”
Cyclone is correct, as before his leg can buckle, Viktor suddenly rushes forward, throwing Blackwell from his shoulders, slamming him down against the turnbuckles!
“OOH!”
Riley: “A Powerbomb into the turnbuckles! Well, I’ll say this for him; Tarakanov has a great taste in moves!”
Comet: “Believe me Citizen Bobby, he’d hit the Cyclotron if he could, just he’s just so darn huge!”
Riley: “Outsiders Edge > Cyclotron.”
Comet: “Wait… how did you say that, Citizen Bobby?”
Riley: “… I don’t know.
The Australian slumps into the turnbuckles, his fight back suddenly halted as his neck jars back into place after the tremendous impact. Tarakanov is fucking pissed, his fist clenching together and his arm shaking as he takes a few steps forward towards the Sacred One…
WHAM!
Striking him in the temple with a straight armed punch!
WHAM!
Comet: “When Tarakanov can’t keep him down, he’ll just pound away with those HARD, STIFF right hands of his!”
Riley: “… You’re trying to excite me, aren’t you?”
WHAM!
Sacred head is thrown back after each devastating blow, his neck suffering a whiplash type effect; such is the force of the punches thrown by the Russian. Tarakanov sends Blackwell across the ring with an Irish whip, slamming Sacred into the opposite turnbuckles. As he is thrown forward from the impact, Tarakanov steps forward, ducking his head and wrapping his tree trunk arms underneath Andrew’s arm, locking it around his neck as he lifts him up, spinning around…
DRIVING Sacred down on the back of his head with the Soviet Judo Throw!
Riley: “That HAS to do it! I’ll stake my reputation on it, Tarakanov has just defeated the Sacred One!”
Comet: “Please, Bobby, Stone Froze could stake his reputation before you even could!”
Riley: “Quiet you! Don’t you see that your old friend is about to fall to the Red Rage!?”
Comet: “By god, you’re right! This cannot happen1 Justice must keep a presence in this tournament!”
Comprehensively driven into the canvas, Blackwell folds up like an accordion, but Tarakanov drags his shoulders back down to the mat, pushing his arm against his chest for the pin!
One!
TWO!
THHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRERRRRRREEE!
… SHOULDER UP!
Comet: “I didn’t doubt him for a second, and this match still continues!”
Blackwell gets his shoulder up one millisecond before the three is counted! The crowd are absolutely entranced by this contest, not believing how much punishment Sacred is taking, but the Junior League World Champion is about to put an end to that as he lets out a mighty Russian bellow, lifting Blackwell back onto his feet…
…. And shoving him into a standing Headscissor!
Riley: “This is it! This will be the end; I’ll stake Jack Houston’s reputation on it!”
Wrapping his arms around Andrew’s waist, Tarakanov takes a deep breath before lifting Sacred into the air, flipping him around…
And slamming him down with a POWERBOMB!
Riley: “OH!”
Comet: “MY!”
Riley: “FUCKING!”
Comet: “Please, don’t curse Bobby!”
Riley: “Tarakanov SLAMS Blackwell down with a Powerbomb… and he’s keeping his grip applied!”
Keeping his hands locked together and arms gripped around his prey’s waist, Tarakanov sets himself, before HEAVING Blackwell up onto his shoulders once again! The fans marvel at his strength, but he doesn’t drop Andrew immediately.
Riley: “Something’s wrong, I can just see it! Tarakanov can’t keep his balance!”
He stumbles back a step, but plants his front foot forward to keep his balance. He can’t steady himself for long though, as Blackwell makes life even more difficult for him, hanging on for dear life!
Comet: “Yes! Please, do it for justice Sacred! Just hold on a little longer…!”
Tarakanov stumbles back a few steps, then, the inevitable happens…
… His leg buckles under, and he drops to one knee! Blackwell lands safely back down on his feet, and, knowing this is his only chance, Andrew grabs the afflicted limb in his arms and spins Tarakanov around, taking him down with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip!
Comet: “THERE! That’s the turning point of this match! Blackwell finally has Viktor where he wants him, but now what will he do!?”
The Russian gasps, feeling a sharp pain shoot up his leg, but Blackwell keeps hold, bending his leg around in… the figure four! Blackwell locks his legs around Tarakanov’s, kneeling on his knees, tearing Tarakanov’s leg apart with an Upright Figure Four!
Riley: “The Deprogrammer! Blackwell is set to deprogram the Red Rage! Forget the way of communism, join the experiment Tarakanov! Blackwell commands it!”
Comet: “Now Viktor is the one on the back foot! Sacred had been eating away at that leg all match, just waiting, waiting for his chance… and now he has seized upon it!”
An almighty cry is heard from Tarakanov as Blackwell grits his teeth, shifting his weight back and forth has he just keeps adding pressure with every passing second! Tarakanov growls, panting as he lifts his head up from off the mat, NAILING Blackwell with a right hand! And another! AND ANOTHER!
Riley: “But Tarakanov won’t lie down! Can Blackwell keep his hold applied under this barrage of right hands!?”
But still, the Australian will NOT let go of the hold! Andrew presses his legs together, tightening the hold suddenly causing Tarakanov to shout and curse in his native Russian tongue!
Rearing back, Blackwell hits the Red Rage with a forearm, then another, his attitude changing in an instant as he unleashes hell upon Tarakanov, pounding away mercilessly while the figure four is still applied! Finally, Tarakanov falls onto his back, and then…
Comet: “Sacred has him back down! Tarakanov hits the mat once, twice…”
… And HE TAPS! The crowd goes absolutely wild as the referee yells, “RING THE BELL!”
DING! DING! DING!
The bell is rung, but this does not deter Sacred, who continues to submit Tarakanov, the world champion to the devastating hold! As the referee tries to pry him away, Funyon is heard on the mic, announcing…
Funyon: “The winner of this match and advancing in the Genesis tournament as a result of submission… “The Sacred One”, ANDREW BLACKWELL!”
Comet: “He did it! He actually pulled victory from the jaws of defeat, and his hopes of reaching the final two are STILL alive!”
The referee motions to the backstage area, and as soon as he does, a trio of referee’s and security guards rush down the ramp way. They each slide into the ring, surrounding the Australian and the Russian as both cry out, but for very different reasons!
Riley: “Damnit! You’ve got the win now Sacred! Let him go!”
Comet: “He’s sending a message Riley, loud and clear he’s telling Nathaniel Kibagami and the rest of the tournament hopefuls that he will NOT lie down!”
Chaos reigns in the ring as Blackwell begins to ramble incoherently…
Riley: “We have to go to a break folks, so please join us when we come back with the winners bracket matches! Someone get down here and take this maniac away!”
This is where we leave the picture as guards take Blackwell by each arm, trying to pull him off as we fade to black…
-
“Welcome back to SWF Storm! I’m Bobby Riley, here with—ugh,” Bobby takes a big breath, “CYCLOOOOOOOOONE COMET and we are live in the sold out MCI Center in Washington DC!” Comet nods his head in approval of his partners super hero call, imitation. The Washington crowd has calmed considerably, after the return to the show, allowing the announce team to lower their voices. “We’ve been watching the Genesis IV double elimination tournament and it has yet to disappoint—” adds Cyclone, before getting cut off. “Anymore than we thought it would…” grumbles Riley, not quite under his breath enough, so he just continues commenting. “Anyway, this next match-up is a loser bracket singles bout, which will give the winner the opportunity to advance into one of next weeks triple threats.”
“Justice prevailed last week, as ‘The Franchise’ Mak Francis was reinstated as Intercontinental-Television champion, after a heinous human being, our commissioner, the Suicide King, stripped him of it.”
“I still maintain that it would have been better for buy rates and inspired Mak to win his match. That thug, Thugg, overstepped his boundaries and is biting off more than he can chew, going against King!”
So do you wanna’ be a Franchise… And live large… A big house… five cars…
“Making his way to ringside!” shouts Funyon, as the wispy sounds of a digital xylophone echo throughout the arena; a deep background beat, cleverly created by violins, and slightly overshadowing the original background rhythm. As the opening lyrics from Mak Francis’ Rock Superstar remix continue to blare over the PA system, the crowd bursts out of their seats, in recognition of the all too familiar music!
The rent charge… Comin’ up in the world, don’t trust nobody… Gotta’ look over your shoulder constantly!
The SmarkTron flares up with a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis, which is followed by ‘The Franchise’ in large green lettering, flashing on the screen in time with the beat, interspersed with signature spots and clips of Francis’ trademark smirking pose.
Funyon takes a breath, “From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at TWO hundred and THIRTY-SIX pounds… the REIGNING, S-W-F, INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPION…‘The Franchise’… MAK FRANCISsssssss!”
After taking a few steps out from behind the curtain, ICTV title and down the ramp, Mak tilts his shades down on the bridge of his nose, before smirking… looking left and then right, soaking up the crowds’ reaction…
I remember the days, when I was a young kid grownin’ up… Lookin’ in the mirror dreamin’ about blowin’ up!
*PWI-SHEW! PWI-SHEW! PWI-SHEW! PWI-SHEEEEEEW!!*
He readjusts his shades with a smirk, before slowly strolling down to ringside and after walking up the ring steps, he cockily wipes his feet on the apron, giving a salute to the crowd, before entering through the middle ropes. Mak climbs the nearest turnbuckle and poses, as a wave of flashing lights go off. He steps down, and hands off the title belt, placing it in the possession of a ringside attendant. He gets checked by tonight’s referee, Eddy Long, before maxing and relaxing, in the corner—
Suddenly, as the lights go dark, a multitude of pyrotechnics explode in the rafters, making a trail down to the stage, followed by the thundering voice of Jay Dawg!
“THIS
IS
MAH
HOUSE!”
As Rammstein's 'Du Haste' echoes through out the arena, letting everyone know about the arrival of Jamie Drazon. Jay Dawg, with his head lowered and bad intentions running through his mind, slowly stalks down towards ringside, where his opponent awaits.
“And his opponent,” yells the ringside announcer, slash, snack treat, “Making his way to ringside, from Vancouver, British Columbia, weighing in at TWO hundred and FOURTY-THREE pounds… ‘The Hardcore Maniac’… JAMIE ‘JAY DAWG’ DRAZON!”
The crowd, once again giving Drazon a surprisingly mixed reaction, mostly on the positive side, continues to cheer, as JD hits the ring! He slides underneath the bottom cable and pops up to his feet, quickly cracking his neck, as Long checks for hidden weapons!
*DING! DING! DING!*
The two wrestlers meet center ring, clashing in a collar and elbow tie-up. As they jockey for position, Francis, using his amateur skills to his advantage, does something of a rope-a-dope. Mak shifts backwards, allowing Drazon to press his advantage and then swats his larger opponents’ wrist to the left – successfully breaking the grapple. The self proclaimed Franchise quickly slides into a side headlock, grinding it in to maintain control. JD attempts to break Mak’s tight grip, pushing on the Franchise’s clasped fingers, but Francis can tell that he will be unable to restrain Jay Dawg for much longer and he snaps the Hardcore Maniac over with a side headlock takedown. JD quickly reaches his legs around Mak’s neck and pulls him down in a headscissors.
“An actual clean start to this match-up.” notes Riley, as the Franchise kips-up once, twice and escapes the hold, landing back on the mat! Francis rolls away from Jay Dawg and slowly gets up to his feet, as JD does the same. This time there is little circling, as Mak charges forward crashing togther with JD once again. The two men stress and strain, but JD rotates out of the tie-up, whipping Mak to the mat on his bottom. “Judo arm drag by JD, who is looking to go into a more shoot fight strong style than amateur matwork. You could say that this is a great example of Strong style vs. Amateur matwork, as JD slides into an armbar and crossface… I guess…” Riley looks to Comet, who is busy shill Pepsi Max, and sighs. “I don’t know this stuff. I’m actually starting to miss Stevens doing my job for me… did I just say that out loud?”
Francis is indeed locked in a seated cross face with an armbar, but the Franchise back elbows out, and snitches in a front facelock, trying to score with a guillotine choke – but JD is wise to the move and spins out of it and into hammerlock! “Some excellent mat work, with both men mixing and matching, using their basic knowledge of the others style. Mak using shoot and JD using amateur… I hope…”
JD sinks his hips in, as Francis, seemingly regaining his wits, wraps his legs around the Hardcore maniac and he levers JD onto his shoulders in a pinning predicament!! Long, drops to the mat and checks both mens shoulders before counting on Jay Dawg…
“Double leg”
ONE…!
TWO—
No! It’s just a long one count, as JD pries at Francis’s locked left leg and twists, placing a great deal of torque on the limb and forcing a pin fall break—
“Wow, another counter!” says Comet, but Francis, even though he feels a sharp twinge in his knee, moves his free leg up from its position and slides it along Dawg’s neck, before pushing down, entrapping his head between the free and barred legs! The head scissors does its’ job, forcing JD to release the leg bar, as Mak drags him down to the canvas. JD pats at the two leg and wiggles slightly to gain some space, before kipping directly up to his feet! Francis still stuck on the mat, can only watch, as Jay Dawg falls upon him in a front mount position! “What a move by JD who is now in firm control, eh Comet!” Francis attempts to cover up, as the shoot fighter lays in a barrage of rights and lefts to the body and head. “Citizen Dawg did a wonderful job of getting into an offensive position, which he is currently using to straight jack up citizen Francis’ S.H.I.T!”
“Well it is official, either Comet’s been in D.C. too long, or we like to steal stuff from that company up north…”
“Pepsi-Cola?” questions’ Comet, and Riley can only shake, while Francis slowly but surely turns in JD’s front mount, angling so that Drazon is now mounted atop his side. Drazon continues to press his advantage with punches, even while Mak turns onto his stomach! JD pounds on the back of Mak’s head now, but Francis, as ring savvy as ever, rolls through, by locking his legs behind JD’s arms! Dawg hits the mat face first and Mak places his left heel into his own armpit, snitching in a reverse crucifix kneebar!!
“Oh my! Did you see that move by supercitizen Francis!” shills Comet, “Another graceful counter in this great match-up!” But JD doesn’t give him much time to keep the hold as he blasts him with a kick to the head to break it! Mak falls to the canvas after a near knock out shot and JD gets up, grabbing Francis by the head and kicking multiple times in the head, as the wheel around in a circle! After blasting Mak with multiple kicks, JD pushes Francis up to his feet and blasts him with some strikes, before flinging him off the ropes in a Irish whip! “Francis with a reversal on JD—leapfrog by the Franchise! JD on the way back—and a side belly to belly on the Hardcore Maniac! Cover!”
ONE…!
TWO…!
T—No! Only a two count, as JD powers out! Francis quickly picks the Dawg up and snitches him in for a Overhead Belly to belly suplex, but Jamie Drazon will have none of that, as he head butts Mak once! “Drazon with multiple head butts gets out of the Overhead belly to belly—standing switch by Drazon and he flows right into release NASTY German suplex!”
*Thump!*
Francis lands on the back of his neck and flops over onto his belly, as JD gets up and moves over into the corner, with a nice line of sight of Mak. Francis struggles to get to his feet as Comet finally realizes what’s about to take place! “Citizen Francis, you have to move! JD is going for the shinning black and the only way to avoid the deadly strike is to not be stationary!” Bobby looks over at Comet, in shock. “Actual insight, if you keep this up, I can coast through the rest of the match!” As Dawg rushes forward, Mak falls from his kneeling position, onto his back and tumbles out of the ring saving himself, for the time being! “Francis got lucky he was knocked to silly to get up to a knee—and JD looks to be planning something else now. I wonder…”
As Riley speaks, Mak slowly starts to get up to his feet and JD rushes back getting some steam, before launching himself over the top rope in a Suicide dive! “Over the top dive by Jay Dawg, who is all over Francis.” Long gets to the count of two, as JD gets up and yanks the Franchise to his feet with him in a front facelock… and while JD tries to drag him back towards the ring, the self proclaimed Franchise tries to send him overhead with a northern lights suplex – but JD shifts his weight and falls back to the ground, lifting Mak up with a choke and then dropping him on the outside with a JD DDT!
Back inside, the Hardcore Maniac goes for the cover quickly! Eddy Long slides into the proper position, his body halfway outside the ring!
ONE…!
TWO…!
T
H—No! Only a two count, as Mak gets a shoulder up! JD doesn’t slow the pace down though, grabbing Mak by the head he pulls him up to his feet and sets off to the side, hooking him about the waist before tossing the Franchise head over heels in a T-bone suplex!! Francis folds over himself, but showing great ring awareness once again, Mak rolls over onto his stomach! JD rolls Francis over and covers…
ONE…!
TWO…!
T
H
R—No! The T-bone suplex only gets a two count! Francis attempts to pull himself of the canvas but JD helps him up anyway, locking him up for a belly to belly suplex. Much like J, Mak attempts to head BUTT out the suplex, but JD just shrugs of the strikes by Mak’s head!! “Ken Shamrock Belly to Belly suplex by JD, as Mak tried to get out but still got tossed! JD is in full control and he’s been suplexing this kid into oblivion!”
“And citizen Dawg is making a cover with each suplex, forcing citizen Francis to kick out over an over. It’s quite the daunting task, says I, super hero extraordinaire CYCLOOOOOONE COMET! Will he be able to kick out again?”
ONE…!
TWO…!
T
H
R
E—No! Francis inches his shoulder up off the canvas, pretty loopy from all of the suplexes and head shots he’s taken in the match so far! JD, arrogantly lifts Francis up to his feet once again and lands a few strikes before sending him away in a Irish whip! “Mak running the ropes—ducks under Thai roundhouse, he got lucky there—flying forearm on the comeback!” says Riley as Cyclone Comet, jumps out of his seat! “The Franchise is still in this thing, Bobby!” Francis picks JD up and measures him landing a standing dropkick straight to his chin! Dawg falls back to the canvas, but Mak doesn’t waste a cover, picking the Hardcore Maniac up to his feet, before backing him up with a—
*Smack!* Whoooooooooooo!
—Scintillating knife-edge chop to the chest! The Franchise backs JD up, feeling the momentum, and rears back, delivering another blood vessel popping knife-edge chop, that sends Drazon back into the corner!
*Smack!* Whoooooooooooo!
“Mak with a few corner punches—no, JD dodges—whatta’ modified Thai Roundhouse and just like that JD is back in control!” JD grabs Mak off the canvas and with a snarl tosses him away with a whip, but it’s so fast that Mak can’t even turn around hitting the turnbuckle pads sternum first!! The self proclaimed Franchise clutches his chest in pain, as JD slides to the outside of the ring, grabbing Mak’s leg and whipping it across the metal pole! The crowd and Mak grimace as he repeats the process one more time to a warning from Eddy Long. Jamie slides back into the ring and the leg torture continues as he places the Franchise’s left leg on top of the ropes! “JD placing Mak’s injured limb on that rope and this can’t be good for Francis… but who cares about him?” questions Riley, as, in the corner, JD jumps up and down across the leg, bending it to his will! JD pulls Mak away from the ropes quickly and locks in JD’s avenge, the crucifix knee bar, but Francis saw it coming and got in the ropes quickly!
Mak gets yanked up to his feet and goes for a toe kick, to try and get some separation, but that’s halted by Drazon catching the foot! Mak hops around, setting up for an enzuigiri, but JD is too quick for him and sends him tumbling to the mat traumatized by a devastating Dragon screw leg whip! The crowd cries out in sympathy, as JD grabs the left leg, which he just leg whipped, does some repeated spinning toe holds, each one torquing the brace covered knee more and more!! JD rolls forward and flips his hurting opponent onto his back in a powerbomb like move, causing Mak to scream out in pain! “This is just tremendous torture to the left leg, of Mak Francis, which is why JD likes it, I’m sure!” says Riley, as a smile crosses JD’s face. He picks Francis up to his feet and stands off to the side before jumping and flipping Mak into position for a rolling Crucifix kneebar – but during the roll Mak shifts his weight and they go tumbling into the ropes instead of the center of the ring! JD begrudgingly lets the hold go and attempts to pull Mak away from the ropes with a shin breaker, but Francis transitions into shinning Enzuigiri, holding his knee in pain. Francis crawls towards JD in a cover…
ONE…!
TWO…!
T
H
R—No! Francis gets two and a half off of the big kick, but now JD is upset! Mak hobbles up to his feet and sends JD away in a Irish whip, then fires off a dropkick to try and build some momentum, but the Hardcore Maniac holds onto the ropes and then comes out of the corner blasting away with a single Thai Roundhouse… that connects! Francis is sent down to the mat as JD prepares to hit the Shinning Black! “Watch out citizen Francis!” yells Comet, as JD barrels forward, but Mak counters, with his head on the swivel, dodging the boot and locking JD’s leg across his shoulder, which he uses to hit a Leg capture suplex! Mak hops up to his feet as JD uses the ropes to pull himself up, but Francis loops in behind and locks on a full nelson, dragging him away from the ropes and hitting…
“A dragon suplex! Francis pulls out a dragon suplex—Cattle Mutilation!” shouts Riley, as Mak releases his dragon suplex and allows JD to fall onto his stomach, before chickenwinging both arms and flipping forward!!
“Oh man can citizen Francis hold on a get the submission from JD, with his leg being worked over like that!” It’s a good question as Mak cries out in pain, referee Eddy Long asking both men if they submit. JD looks around, laughing like a maniac while the pain gets worse and worse.
"Look at Mak, he may submit himself before JD does..." says Riley, as Mak cries out once again. "It's all comes down to a war of wills, Bobby!"
Jay Dawg tries to turn his head several times, surveying every option, but in the end, as time goes on, all he can do is... “He passed out! JD passed out in the Cattle Mutilation!”
“Eddy Long checks his arm, one time…!!! TWO TIMES…!!!”
Three times.
And that it says Long, before asking for the bell.
*DING! DING! DING!*
“The winner of this bout, by referee’s decision… and moving on in the SWF Genesis IV World title tournament… your SMARKS WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPION… “THE FRANCHISE” MAAAAK FRAAAANCISsssssss!”
Mak releases the hold and falls flat onto his back, the pain searing in his knee, but the chants and cheers of the crowd, for both men, makes him grit out a smile slightly, even through the pain, as Eddy Long raises his hand! The crowd continues to cheer, and neither announcer can say anything, for fear of ruining the moment, as SWF Storm goes to commercial break.
-
"Blending Wrestling With Perspective"
An In-Depth Commentary by Tucker Carson
I decided to do my first essay on my favorite hobby, wrestling. So the following is a transcript of my favorite wrestling show, SWF Storm. I hope you like it.
QUIZ (accompanied by Show) v. CROW (accompanied by Dante Crane)
Crow comes down to the ring first using Dimmu Borgir's "Burn in Hell" as entrance music. His character is that of a gothic person, and he seems like a very nice individual outside of the ring. He's with Dante Crane, who is obviously just like Crow, because the two of them are similar and stuff. Quiz, meanwhile, comes out to "Come On Down" by Crystal Waters, a very tripped-out song. Somehow they hired Rod Roddy to give this guy an introduction, so I must applaud them. Quiz and Show cut what's none as a "promo" on Washington, DC. It goes like this:
Quiz: This is Washington's most famous athlete, who is a gambler and a womanizer, not to mention a guy who made his name in Chicago!
Show: Who is Michael Jordan?
Quiz: You are correct, sir!
Quiz catches what's known as "heat" for this, and he slides into the ring, charging at Crow and attacking him as the bell rings...
(Perspective Switch: Debbie Runion, sitting in row DD, seat 4)
I watched the ring to a degree, looking at Quiz as he knocked Crow down with a clothesline.
"Mommy, why does that tiny man hate the man in black?"
I looked over at my daughter, Kaylee, and smiled.
"Honey, it's just a show. These guys aren't getting hurt."
As I said this, Quiz ran like a train at Crow, only to have Crow grab him by the crotch and the hair and throw him into the air before slamming him into the mat.
"That looked like it hurt!"
"He just laid him down, sweetie, they'll be fine."
"He just laid him down? That was a hard motherfuckin' powerslam!"
I looked to my left to see a large, burly man in an Angry Dragons shirt staring at me. His hair was long and greasy, and he wore a "STONE COLD WANTS TO KICK YOUR ASS" hat.
"Excuse me, sir, I'm with my daughter, she's four, could you try not to swear?"
"Oh, sorry, ma'am. Yo, give me a fuckin' beer!"
I sighed - when I bought tickets to a wrestling show I didn't expect to be seated next to a hick. Irony. I turned my attention back to the ring, where Quiz had Crow in some kind of a headlock on the mat. Dante Crane was clapping on the outside, and Kaylee began clapping with them, giggling like mad.
"Why are you clapping, dear?"
"So the man can break the other man's arm!"
I sighed again. And people said wrestling wasn't dangerous...
(Perspective Switch: Junior Riceman, sitting in row DD, seat 3)
The douchebag sitting next to me had the gall to tell me not to swear? Fuck her. Calling a sleeper hold a headlock... and she said she knew wrestling.
As the beer guy handed me my third of the night - Samuel motherfuckin' Adams, bitch - I watched Crow in the ring, getting to his fuckin' feet and catching Quiz with an elbow to the motherfuckin' gut. I roared, lifting my beer in the air so that some of it spilled on the bitch next to me. She jumped, turning to stare at me but I didn't care - fuck her, she's not a fuckin' fan!
Crow, in the ring, bounced off the ropes, coming back and kicking Quiz in the fuckin' stomach again, then grabbing him by the neck and pulling him down with a fuckin' DDT! Everyone around me went nuts, even the broad with the beer on her tits, as Crow covered the game show bitch. Soapdish counted... one... two... KICK OUT WHAT THE FUCK!
"THAT WAS THREE, YOU DUMB FUCKER!"
The bitch next to me stared at me again.
"Excuse me, sir, could you please stop swearing?"
"Could you please go fuck yourself, bitch, I'm trying to watch a fuckin' wrestling match!"
(Perspective Switch: Choken One, sitting at his computer logged on to the internet while Storm plays on the television)
I sat there, watching the screen intently, my computer glowing, my fingers hovering over the keyboard, my mouse pointer on the "Quick Reply" box. I was just waiting - as soon as something happened, I was going to be the first one to post it on the One and Only Storm thread - not Goodear, not "Bitchcakes" Bob Barron, not motherfuckin' cobainwasmurdered, ME, Choken One. I was TSM's number one poster!
On the screen, Crow hit Quiz with a STIFF roundhouse kick to the jaw! The crowd roared, but I couldn't waste time marking out. My fingers flashed out on the keys.
"DAS WUNDER KICK! I <3 THAT MOVE!"
Enter! Take THAT, Barron. The screen refreshed, and I looked at the thread quickly - proud to see my post celebrating the Das Wunder Kick above everybody else's.
"Haha," I thought to myself. "Now those fuckers will have to edit their posts to say "Choken One beat me". I rule."
On screen, Quiz got a shoulder up at two. I didn't have time to win this one, so I didn't even try - editing posts is no fun.
(Perspective Switch: Bobby Riley, Commentary Desk)
I watched as Crow dragged Quiz to his feet, the smaller man obviously a bit groggy from the stiff kick... I could make him feel alive. Next to me, Comet spoke.
"The young man showing some resilience against Crow, but the Antichristian Superstar will crush him like he was Darth Vader!"
I looked at him, a bit amused. "Comet, I must ask. You're a superhero. Why are you referring to supervillains in non-superhero movies."
"Uh, call the match, Citizen Riley!"
Sigh. I could never beat Comet - that fuckhead King knew it, too. If only I hadn't had to retire from the ring, goddammit... I'd still be there, not the world's largest gay cliche... although I am a large gay... maybe... fuck, what am I saying. A jolt in the ring woke me up, and I looked up to see Quiz covering Crow.
"What happened, Comet?"
"You should've been paying attention, Citizen Riley! Crow was looking for a Diamond Dust, but Quiz reversed it into a Monkey Flip!"
"Sounds exceptional, Comet. I'm sorry I missed it."
Sigh. This is the shit I have to put up with on a daily fucking basis... sometimes I just debate quitting this fed, going out into my true first love... ice dancing...
(Perspective Switch: Don Reynolds, young smark watching at home)
On the television, Quiz grabbed Crow and tried to throw him at the ropes but the Crow reversed it and threw Quiz into the ropes, but Quiz came back and kicked him right in the hurt place! Crow got down on his knees and looked really hurt, and Quiz got really happy and kicked him in the hurt place again! I turned to my daddy.
"That's not real, right, Daddy?"
"No way, son. Those guys are fuckin' fakes."
I looked back at the TV, where Quiz got down on top of Crow and the striped shirt man slapped the mat once, then slapped it again, then wanted to slap it a third time but he stopped. I turned to my daddy.
"Is the striped shirt man okay?"
"Yes, son. He couldn't count to three."
"I can count to three! One, two, three!"
"That's great, Donny."
I looked back at the TV, and Quiz went on top of the stick thingy and jumped off and went upside down and tried to land on Crow but Crow rolled out of the way and Quiz hit his tummy on the mat and grabbed it and yelled "OW MY FUNKING STOMACH!" I looked at my daddy.
"What was that, daddy?"
"That was a moonsault."
"Oh. I don't like moonsaults much."
(Perspective change: Mitchell Buckley, sitting in the bathroom, dropping a deuce Edwin would be proud of.)
As I sat on the toilet I thought to myself. What could Crow and Quiz be doing to each other? I'll bet that Crow grabbed Quiz and hit him with a murderous DDT, looked for the pin, then Quiz kicked out an Crow got up to yell at the ref but Quiz dropkicked Crow into him. Then Show got into the ring and lifted Crow up onto his shoulders for an Electric Chair Drop, but Crane would interfere and elbow Show in the back, so Show would drop Crow and powerbomb Crane to the outside. Then Show would grab Crow... hey, that rhymes... and powerbomb him, then Show would Electric Chair Drop Quiz onto Crow and wake the ref. Then the ref would count three and Show and Quiz would bolt.
*zzzzip!*
I flushed, and walked back out to my seat just in time to see Quiz leaving the ring with Show, triumphantly holding up the tag belts. I turned to my brother Michael.
"What happened?"
"Well, Crow hit Quiz with a Murderous DDT, and it looked like he had three, but Quiz kicked out! So Crow was all pissed and he got up and started stalking Soapdish, and Quiz dropkicked him in the back and right into the ref, knocked Soapdish the fuck out."
"Irony."
"Yeah. So then Show slides into the ring, and he grabs Crow and lifts him up for an electric chair drop, but Crane gets all pissed, right? So Crane gets into the ring and elbows Show in the back, and Show drops Crow and grabs Dante and powerbombs him over the top rope to the outside!"
"Wow."
"I know, we gave that a Holy Shit! chant. So then Show grabs Crow and powerbombs him, and then Show grabs Quiz and gives him an Electric Chair Drop across Crow's head..."
"X For The Block?"
"Yeah, that's it. So then Quiz has Crow pinned, and Show wakes up the ref and he makes the count, and Quiz and Show bail while holding the tag belts in the air."
"Huh. That's fucked up."
"I know, right?"
(Perspective Switch: Tucker Carlson)
And so once again, cheaters triumphed over potheads.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
-
As the scene fades in, we're in Washington, DC. "Sinner" by Drowning Pool cues up, and the crowd immediately begins to boo, as we're apparently not wasting any time.
Comet: "Welcome back to SWF Storm, everybody!"
Riley: "We're ready for the next match, as Dante Crane and John Duran have their second meeting in the SWF. Duran already has an advantage, and I'm sure that he won't be giving that up anytime soon!"
John Duran steps through the curtains and flips off the crowd, per usual, before beginning his walk down to the ring.
Funyon: "Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall and is a match in the SWF Losers' Bracket to determine a number one contender for the SWF World Heavyweight Title at Genesis IV! Introducing first, from Champaign, Illinois, weighing in at 265 pounds...THE SINNER...JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
Duran stops near the base of the ramp down to the ring, turning to his left and noticing a woman in the front row who looks to be very, very old. The 70 or 80-something lady seems to be enjoying herself, and raises a middle finger in Duran's face. John laughs and just piefaces the old lady down to the ground, getting the crowd surrounding the lady to boo Duran viciously.
Riley: "Hahaha! Comet, he pushed an old lady! Are you going to take that?"
Comet: "No! I knew that Duran was up to no good when he looked at that old lady!"
Riley: "Man, was that old school or what?"
Duran steps up onto the apron and steps between the ropes, going to a corner facing the SmarkTron and waiting for his opponent with a wicked smile on his face, likely still thinking about pushing the poor old lady down.
The lights in the MCI Center go dark, and then an explosion of white and blue pyros rock the arena. The crowd cheers as "Great Big White World" by Marilyn Manson plays, and Dante Crane walks through the remaining smoke and down to the ring. Dante is sporting his full-length trenchcoat, as usual, walking down to the ring and filtering the cheers of the crowd out of his mind, staying focused.
Funyon: "Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 242 pounds...SICK BOY...DANNNNNNNNNNNNNTE CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!"
Crane slides into the ring and removes his trenchcoat, handing it to the ref as he keeps his eye on Duran, ready for any trickery that "The Sinner" might have up his sleeve.
Riley: "Here we go..."
*DING DING DING*
As the match begins, both Duran and Dante are having a staredown, slowly moving in circles around each other, both men waiting for the right opportunity to hit the first strike of the match. As they get closer to each other, Duran decides to take the first strike, attempting a collar-and-elbow tie up. However, Dante slips away from the grasp of Duran, almost sending "The Sinner" flat on his face from his forward momentum. John turns to Crane and tries once again to perform a collar-and-elbow tie up, but Dante once again is too quick for Duran and slips away from him once again. Possibly thinking that the third time would be a charm, Duran attempts the tie up once again, but it once again is ineffective, as "Sick Boy" has too much speed to be sucked in by brawling tactics.
Riley: "No surprise here, as Dante Crane is once again running away from his opponents like the little dog that he is."
Comet: "There's a very fine line between running away from your opponent and outsmarting your opponent, Bobby."
Riley: "Are you kidding me? John Duran is not only a gentleman, but he's also quite the scholar. I feel insulted at your attempts to make Duran less honorable than he truly is!"
Having missed those three collar-and-elbow tie ups, Duran is showing some early frustrations, moving with a burst of strength over to Crane, arm extended for a clothesline. The clothesline can't hit the mark either, as Dante ducks Duran's oncoming arm, slipping behind John and then bringing his right leg up into Duran's back with a crisp roundhouse kick. "The Sinner" holds his back in pain, but still turns around to face Crane. Dante quickly buries a boot into Duran's midsection, doubling Duran over and allowing Dante to turn his back to John, placing John's head on his right shoulder before falling to one knee and slowly flipping Duran over his shoulder and down to the mat back first.
Riley: "What kind of opening move is that?"
Comet: "It was a well-executed snapmare, in case you couldn't tell, Citizen Bobby."
Riley: "Is he going to snapmare Duran straight to hell?"
Duran sits up from the momentum of the snapmare, allowing "Sick Boy" to bounce off the ropes behind "The Sinner." Dante gains speed and then grabs Duran's head and does a front flip, snapping John's neck forward with a well-executed neck snap. The force of the move sends Duran down to his back.
Comet: "Dante Crane is already looking good against John Duran!"
Riley: "Duran's just getting warmed up! Duran didn't come this far to go down to Dante Crane this early. He's already beaten Crane before, and he'll do it again."
Dante rises to his feet and waits for Duran to do the same. Duran gets to his feet easily, and Crane is waiting for him. Dante uses his left leg to pivot 90 degrees, bringing his right leg up with intentions to slam it into the left side of Duran. John barely manages to stop Dante's foot before it makes impact, giving Dante a crooked smile. It's "Sick Boy" who has the last laugh, however, as he brings his left leg off the ground, twisting in the air and slamming the left boot against the temple of "The Sinner." Duran certainly didn't see it coming, as he collapses to the mat to the cheers of the fans.
Comet: "It's times like these that I wish SWF Storm could have sound effects like my old TV show!"
Riley: "...Old TV show?"
Comet: "Of course, my show that was on UPN for a week, the Cyclone Comet Hour of Power!"
Riley: "Oy gevalt..."
Comet: "For that last enziguiri by Dante, I'd be tempted to make this sound effect: THWAP!"
Riley: "I'm tempted to bust your skull, Comet. THUNK! ...Bastard."
Crane decides not to wait for Duran to get up this time, bending down and bringing Duran to his feet. The reserved Canadian quickly puts John in a front facelock and slings Duran's arm over his shoulders, but as Dante tries to create the lift to bring "The Sinner" off the mat for a vertical suplex, John brings up his right leg between Dante's legs, blocking the attempt. Duran slips out of the front facelock and connects with a couple of forearms that stagger Crane. John then grabs the right arm of "Sick Boy" and whips him towards the ropes. Dante uses the momentum of being tossed into the ropes by jumping up on the middle rope and twisting backwards, moving the left side of his body parallel with the ground and falling on Duran, hitting a beautiful Twisting Press as both men hit the mat. Dante holds the bodypress for a pin, hooking Duran's leg as the ref swings around to count.
ONE...
T-KICKOUT!
Dante is barely able to get a one count as Duran lifts his shoulder off the ground, not quite surprised enough by the sudden high-risk move from Dante Crane.
Comet: "I think I see a pattern here, Bobby. It's been awhile since Duran's seen someone as fast as Dante Crane in action. Crane is insanely fast, and for a man as big as Duran, I can't see John lasting long against him."
Riley: "...Why is it that when you're not making stupid superhero comments, you're making comments that make you seem like Bill O'Reilly?"
Comet: "Is that your Irish uncle?"
Riley: "IDIOT!"
Both Duran and Crane rise to their feet at the same time. Dante whips out another kick from his arsenal, this time bringing his left leg high and trying to smash it into the same temple that is still ringing from the enzuigiri. Duran manages to back away from the kick just in time. Crane's momentum sends him on a 360-degree turn, and when he comes around again, he catches a stiff clothesline from Duran. Dante hits the mat to jeers from the crowd as "Sick Boy" holds his neck in pain from the whiplash of hitting the mat.
Riley: "You see that BIG clothesline from Duran? Did I mention who the idiot was, Comet?"
Comet: "...Me?"
Riley: "Indeed."
Comet: "NEVER!"
Duran gets the crowd riled up by ruffling their feathers, directing some words at one of the many fans packed into the front row at the MCI Center. Dante gets to his feet, a little out of it as "The Sinner" turns to face Dante. Duran smashes Crane's face with a right hand, followed by another crushing blow, staggering "Sick Boy" once again and keeping him from reaching a vertical base. Duran keeps the pain coming for Dante, bringing him up in a front facelock and draping one of Crane's arms over his shoulders. Duran has better luck lifting Crane up into the air, holding Dante for a second before falling backwards and connecting with a vertical suplex.
Riley: "And the vertical suplex connects! Never send a Canadian, especially one from Quebec, to do a job that an American would gladly do, and can do ten times better."
Comet: "Dante Crane is the most resilient 210-pound guy I've ever seen, Citizen Bobby. He shall not let the forces of evil overcome him!"
With Crane down on the mat, Duran rises back to his feet. Duran stands over Dante for a moment, taunting him. Duran then turns a little bit to his left, allowing him to leap into the air, extending his leg and dropping it across the throat of Crane as a big legdrop from Duran connects. Duran puts the lateral press on, hooking the leg as the ref swings around once again to count the pinfall.
ONE...
TWO-KICKOUT!
Dante shoots a shoulder up easily, as there's still plenty of fight left in the "Sick Boy."
Comet: "Aha! The deeds of the good have shined through once again!"
Riley: "Evil always wins, Comet! You'd still be wrestling if that wasn't true!"
Comet: "I take offense to that! And I take a fence to that too!"
Even after Crane kicks out, Duran is quick to continue. John rises to his feet and brings Dante with him. With both men at a vertical base, Duran bends down, grabbing Dante and hoisting Crane up over his head. Crane hangs ominously over the ring at the mercy of Duran, as John showboats a bit, doing a couple of bench presses with Dante's 210-pound body. Finally, the fun and games are over and "The Sinner" walks over to the ropes before chucking Dante over the top rope and to the hard mat below.
SMACK
Dante hits the mat hard, feeling the sheer force of being dropped a long way down to the mat.
Comet: "A Gorilla Press with a touch of evil! Dastardly!"
Riley: "There's no better sound than hearing a punk bounce off the mat after being tossed like a midget, Comet. It can't be evil. Deliciously evil, maybe."
The crowd boos Duran, and John doesn't seem too appreciative of the jeers as he raises his middle fingers up to the crowd, which only gets the audience members booing even louder. The boos are loud enough that they even drown out the ref as he begins his ten count.
ONE!
Duran then takes his business elsewhere, stepping through the ropes and over to the outside where Dante is laying. Duran not only has some words for the crowd, but some for "Sick Boy" as he bends down to bring Dante up to his feet. "The Sinner" grabs the arm of Crane and tries to chuck him into the ring steps, but Dante somehow finds the momentum to reverse the whip and send Duran hurdling towards the ring steps.
CLANKCLANKCLANK
TWO!
The sound of Duran crashing into the ring steps echoes all the way to the White House, some of the members in the front row, close to where Duran just ended up on the losing end of a meeting with the steps, wince in appreciation of how much that must've hurt. Duran is holding his shoulder in obvious pain from connecting with the ring steps.
THREE!
Comet: "I recall not too long ago that Citizen Aecas was the man who went into the ring steps at the hands of Duran! Oh, how the times change!"
Riley: "Nothing will change here, Comet. Because, Comet, in the end, Duran's still going to beat his opponent, whether it's Aecas or this punk Dante Crane."
FOUR!
Dante moves over to the apron, stepping up onto the ring apron but not stepping through the ropes, looking behind him and waiting for Duran to rise to his feet. When some of the crowd members realize that Dante hasn't stepped into the ring yet, they rise to their feet, wondering what "Sick Boy" has up his sleeve. Slowly, yet surely, "The Sinner" rises to his feet, despite being dazed. By the time he notices that Dante is on the apron, it is far too late. Dante leaps up onto the top rope, springboarding off and flipping backwards through the air. The cameras flash as Duran tries to get his arms up to protect himself. Gravity pushes Crane down, down, down, finally connecting with Duran as both men slam against the floor. The fans let out an uproarious cheer, some fans chanting "Ho-lee shit!"
FIVE!
Riley: "Argh! You're a superhero, Comet, why can't you notice injustices like that Asai moonsault from Dante Crane?"
Comet: "I can only notice the superb acrobatics of Dante! The man can fly! He would certainly make for an outstanding sidekick. Can you picture that, Bobby?"
Riley: "Oh, I can't get it out of my god damn head now."
Dante jumps to his feet, satisfied with his work as he rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring.
SIX!
Duran is slowly getting to his feet, as he listens to the ref's count, knowing that he is getting dangerously closer and closer to being counted out of this contest.
SEVEN!
Duran rises to one knee, and then to his two feet, still trying to get a clear head before re-entering the ring.
EIGHT!
With that count, Duran slides under the bottom rope himself, going into the ring. Dante is waiting for Duran as he gets up, however. Dante flips backwards and catches Duran in the chin with the toe of his boot, looking damn close to dislocating the jaw of "The Sinner," sending a stunned Duran back into the ropes from which he just rolled under.
Dante remains on the ground as John staggers away from the ropes, bringing his right leg up and slamming it into the back of Duran's legs and "taking the rug out from under him." Duran falls flat on his back after the sweep, much to the delight of the crowd. Crane quickly scampers over the body of Duran and hooks the leg as the ref swings around to Duran's shoulders, watching them as he counts the pinfall.
ONE...
TWO...
KICKOUT!
Duran isn't quite ready to stay down just yet, as he kicks out of the pinfall attempt by "Sick Boy." No one knows for sure the emotions flowing through Crane now, but he certainly isn't wearing them on the outside, as he appears calm.
Riley: "I hope Dante Crane doesn't think he's the second coming of Bruce Lee with that crappy sweep. He's too awful to be anyone worth talking about."
Comet: "But he works for the powers of good! Can you not see that, Citizen Bobby?"
Riley: "...What in the hell does that have to do with ANYTHING?"
Comet: "He works for justice!"
Dante rises to his feet, bringing John up with him. Crane then goes behind Duran, locking his arms around Duran's waist. "Sick Boy" musters some strength in his body, lifting Duran into the air as Dante falls back, barely able to drop "The Sinner" on his shoulders with a German suplex. The crowd applauds Dante's execution of the German as he gets to his feet. Crane then goes over to the ropes, stepping through them and looking over at Duran, standing on the apron. Crane slingshots himself over the top rope, flipping through the air and attempting a senton splash, but Duran rolls towards the ropes that Crane just slingshot himself over, as Dante goes shoulder-first into the mat.
Riley: "Bahahaha! No Fell Swoop for you, Dante!"
Noticing that Dante is on the mat, winded from missing the senton, Duran takes advantage and goes over to Dante, covering him as the ref falls to the mat and counts the pinfall.
ONE...
TWO...
NO!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Thankfully, the match doesn't end this way, as Dante manages to break the pinfall attempt. Duran takes it with stride, rising to his feet and then bending down to bring up "Sick Boy." Duran hits Crane with a right hand, and then another, before grabbing Crane's arm and sending him into the ropes. Duran goes to the opposite ropes, bouncing off them and coming towards Dante. Both men meet in the center of the ring, as Duran pushes his shoulder out and slams it into Crane's shoulder, dropping Dante with a running shoulderblock.
Comet: "Dastardly Duran! He is truly a wicked, wicked man!"
Riley: "I know! Don't you just love it?"
Duran is quick to follow his running shoulderblock up by falling to the mat, placing his hand around the throat of Crane and choking him out, the ref quick to act on the illegal choke and telling "The Sinner" to break it or risk disqualification.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
Duran finally releases it to the boos of the crowd, making sure the ref doesn't disqualify him before going right back to the choke, the boos from the crowd growing in volume.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
The ref gives Duran yet another warning, but Duran just seems to shrug it off as he slaps his hand around Dante's throat yet again, this time rising to his feet and bringing Crane with him. Duran's got Crane by the throat, and the crowd isn't liking this one bit as John hoists "Sick Boy" up into the air, holding him for a moment before slamming him down to the mat with a wicked chokeslam. The crowd gets vocal, booing "The Sinner" to no end.
Riley: "This is it! There's the chokeslam, it's simple from here! Duran just needs to get the cover and boot Dante out of the tournament!"
Comet: "Dante shall overcome!"
Duran covers Crane, hooking a leg and making sure to put plenty of weight on the shoulders of "Sick Boy," as the ref once again counts the pinfall.
ONE...
TWO...
THR-NO!
The crowd explodes with cheers as Dante somehow manages to break the pinfall attempt, as Duran is beginning to show some clear signs of frustration. John gets to his feet and goes to the corner opposite of where Crane lays, crouching down, the crowd booing as "The Sinner" lies in wait for "Sick Boy" to get back to his feet.
Comet: "This is not looking good for Dante Crane..."
Riley: "Of course it isn't! He's about to get speared out of his mind!"
As Dante gets up to his feet, Duran charges out from the corner. Crane turns around, noticing the big 260 pound plus man coming towards him like a runaway train, and jumping to the right to avoid the spear. Somehow, Duran manages to keep from running shoulder-first into the post, putting the brakes on and stopping his momentum. Duran turns around to face Dante once again, but finds his arm being grabbed as "The Sinner" is sent into the ropes. Duran holds onto Crane's arm, however, reversing the Irish whip and sending "Sick Boy" into the ropes instead. On the way back, Duran slaps on a sleeperhold, clutching his arms around Dante's head.
Riley: "This is beautiful! Duran can't keep Crane down, so he's just going to put him to sleep like he's a rabid dog!"
Comet: "Dante Crane must fight back! He cannot allow Mr. Duran to win this battle!"
Dante isn't in the sleeperhold for long, as he backs towards the ropes and uses the spring of the ropes to shrug Duran off his shoulders. Crane uses this opportunity to push "The Sinner" off him, sending Duran into the ropes. On the way back, Dante shakes off the sleeperhold and shuffles his feet, bringing his left leg up and smacking it into John's chin, sending Duran down like a ton of bricks after an absolutely wicked superkick.
Comet: "Aha! Good prevails again, Citizen Bobby! What do you have to say for yourself now?"
Riley: "You mean besides 'You're an awful commentator, Comet?' Nothing."
Duran is down close to the middle of the ring as Crane steps through the ropes once again, going to the apron. Dante once again uses the ropes to slingshot himself over the top rope, hitting the senton on "The Sinner" this time and rolling to his feet. Dante goes over to the opposite side ropes and leaps onto the middle rope, jumping backwards and flying through the air with the cameras flashing as the entire Fell Swoop sequence hits its mark, much to the absolute delight of the fans. Crane stays on Duran following the Lionsault, hooking the leg as the crowd counts along with the ref.
ONE...
TWO...
TH--NO! DURAN KICKS OUT!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Comet: "This match just goes on and on!"
Riley: "Both men are just throwing everything at each other and seeing which move will keep the other down for the three count. There's nothing scientific about this match, ladies and gentlemen, they're giving it their all. Unfortunately, Duran always gives more than his opponent, so this match is already over!"
Crane seems displeased that he couldn't get Duran down for the three count, but the Quebec resident doesn't show any signs of stopping, as he rises to his feet and then soon brings "The Sinner" up as well. Duran is dazed and winded, and is barely able to stand. Dante doesn't wait for John to get better, however, as he goes into the ropes. On the way back, Crane leaps into the air, wrapping his legs around the neck of Duran and swinging around to hit a flying headscissors.
BUT DURAN GRABS DANTE'S LEGS.
Seeming almost like a reflex defense, the crowd boos as Duran wraps his arms around Crane's legs. Dante dangles down with his head close to the ground, but John builds up enough strength to bring "Sick Boy" up onto Duran's shoulders, before John thrusts down, sending Crane to the mat.
BOOM
"OHHHH!"
Crane slams into the mat with AUTHORITY, as the crowd begins to boo. Duran thinks the match is over, as he goes for the cover.
ONE...
TWO...
THREEEEEE---NO!
"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The crowd explodes with excitement as the ref signals to the timekeeper that the pinfall was only worth a 2 count, and Duran can't believe it. He gets up and moves to the corner this time, but he's looking very displeased and ready to rip Dante Crane in half with a spear.
Comet: "Dante Crane must turn the tide now! He is facing elimination, and he must defeat his fear!"
Riley: "That's right! He should fear John Duran!"
Dante gets to his feet, turning around once again as Duran charges. This time Dante is too exhausted to dodge the spear, as it connects with GUSTO. The spear sends Crane and Duran crashing into the mat. John snaps up and motions that it is over, which the crowd certainly does not appreciate.
Riley: "Yes! Yes, yes, yes! He's going to go for the Ultimate Sin!"
Comet: "Fight back, Dante Crane! Summon all the power inside of you and defeat this evildoer once and for all!"
John brings Dante up to his feet and tries to put him in a standing headscissors, but Dante fights it for all he is worth. Dante squirms out of Duran's grasp and hits a couple of stiff roundhouse kicks, but "The Sinner" grits through the pain and blasts Crane in the stomach with a big front kick.
Riley: "Dante is giving it his all, but it's not going to be enough!"
Crane is put in the standing headscissors, despite the jeers and boos of the crowd, as Duran bends down and wraps his arms around the waist of Dante. Duran lifts up, bringing "Sick Boy" up onto Duran's shoulders. John slides Crane down into the crucifix position, cameras flashing as Duran gets ready to hoist Crane up for the end of the Ultimate Sin.
AND THEN CRANE SLIPS OUT.
Crane breaks the crucifix grip of Duran, and the crowd absolutely goes apeshit. Dante ends up behind Duran and puts "The Sinner" in a full nelson.
Comet: "He's going for the Etheral Suplex!"
Riley: "What? I thought his finisher was The Cure!"
Comet: "It is, but this is the perfect time to whip it out! He's caught Duran by surprise! This is the chance that Dante has been waiting for, all he needs to do is hit this move!"
Dante puts all the strength he can into lifting Duran off the mat, pushing his strength to its absolute limits, the crowd trying to get behind Dante, trying to give him the power to drop Duran right on his head.
MULE KICK.
Duran snaps his right leg back, right into the crotch of Crane, and Dante feels the effects almost immediately, as the crowd boos. The ref isn't sure what happened, and as Crane is doubled over, Duran turns around and puts Crane in a standing headscissors.
Comet: "No! Not this way!"
Riley: "Yes! He's going to do it, Comet, and you can't stop him!"
Duran bends down and wraps his arms around the sides of Crane once again, lifting him up onto his shoulders once again, and putting him in the crucifix position again. Dante is drained of his strength, and can't wiggle out this time, as Duran brings Crane up into the air and then falls to the mat.
BOOM
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Ultimate Sin connects, as Duran sits up and stretches his legs out to pin the shoulders of Crane, the ref swinging around to count the pinfall, though it's hard to hear over the brutal jeering of the crowd.
ONE...
TWO...
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Comet: "Nooooooo! A hero has fallen!"
Riley: "Happy days are here again!"
Funyon: "Here is your winner, JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
The ref raises the hand of Duran as "The Sinner" gets to his feet, leaving the ring and heading back towards the backstage area, getting mouthy with the fans as he escapes with yet another victory. Duran raises his arms in victory and the crowd certainly is not enjoying it, flipping the bird to John as Duran backs up the entrance ramp.
Riley: "It was a good effort from Dante Crane, Comet, but let's face it, John Duran's effort was ten times better."
Comet: "This isn't over between Duran and Dante. There shall be another meeting, and this time Duran will go down for good!"
Riley: "Sure he will."
As Duran disappears through the curtains to the boos of the crowd, Dante gets up in the ring. The crowd cheers, but Dante does not acknowledge them, per usual as Crane rolls under the bottom rope, taking the loss in stride and going to the backstage area as a small chant is started.
"DAN - TE!"
"DAN - TE!"
Riley: "Well, another man is gone from the tournament, and there's still three more to be eliminated!"
Comet: "From here on out, I promise that no more good guys shall be eliminated!"
Riley: "You wish. Danny Williams and Ejiro Fasaki is your main event tonight, and I personally can't wait. Not to mention that TOM FLESHER IS IN THE BUILDING! I'VE SEEN HIM! Don't go anywhere, Crow versus Quiz, it's next on Storm, live from...ugh...Thugg country."
Fade to commercials.
-
The shot cuts suddenly from the jam-packed arena to a shot of a back door. Ben Hardy is standing by it holding a microphone emblazoned with the SWF Storm logo and looking at the camera.
“Sorry to interrupt guys, but the SWF Commissioner has just arrived in the parking garage and I hope to get a word with him!”
“Ben Hardy is a brave, brave man Bobby!”
“No Comet, Hardy is suicidal. I wouldn’t be within ten feet of King were I him after what happened on Smarkdown!”
Finally, the door opens and the Suicide King enters, dressed in a sporty suit and carrying a briefcase. He is focused and angry, eyes locked straight ahead of him. He blows by Hardy, totally ignoring his presence. Hardy, dumbest man in the universe, takes a step after King and calls to him, “Any word on what your response to the H–Ville Thugg will be tonight?”
King spins around and gets nose-to-nose with the interviewer. His eyes are filled with rage and it is easy to see his jaw is clenched and his teeth are grinding. He stares down Hardy, causing the mild-mannered reporter to back off, then turns and leaves, heading off to his office down the hall.
In a shaky voice, Hardy says, “Back to ringside…”
-
The camera fades in to a long pan of the MCI Center, packed to the brim as we continue on with the third round of the Genesis Tournament on SWF Storm! Many of the fans in the crowd waves signs, a few of the notable ones being “Dis Be Thugg Country!”, “D.C. Wants an International Incident!”, and “Q: Who Sucks? A: Double Jeparody!”. We cut over to the announcer’s table, where the SWF’s very own Superhero and Ambigiously Gay Announcer stand by.
“Ah, welcome back good citizens!” states Cyclone Comet in typical over-dramatic fashion, “Welcome back to another edition of SWF STORM~! While we’ve only just started, this show looks to be Pepsi MAXalicious!”
“I’ll definitely agree, we have some great matches lined up tonight. Tarakanov taking on Blackwell, Craven facing Show, what more could you ask for?”
“The Main Event, of course! We have the dastardly Ejiro Fasaki facing off against the distinguished Danny Williams in what’s sure to be a match to blow the roof off the MCI Center faster than you can say CYCLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-”
“BUT RIGHT NOW,” interrupts Riley, “We have a match that, on any other night, could definitely be a Main Event: CIA vs. The Judge!”
“Indeed, sidekick! The malevolent magistrate and neighbor to the north have both been long considered top contenders, though tonight only one shall move on in the Genesis Tourney!”
“As of late, both these guys have been on losing streaks, but the Judge has shown some fire in his last victory against the up-and-coming JLer English Dragon. Of course, CIA doing his usual ‘circling the drain’ act that we’ve come to see so much of.”
“Oh ho ho, I wouldn’t count out a fellow masked hero, Bobbie. He only lost last time due to the cheating ways of Double Jeopardy, and I’m almost certain that had he gotten down there he would have laid down some JUSTICE~! on that game-show gimmicked evildoer.”
*DING DING DING*
The ring bell rings a few times, signaling the next match is coming up. A small pop for Funyon as he enters the ring in his suave black tuxedo, stepping out to the middle and raising a mic to his lips.
“The following match is part of the GENESIS WORLD TITLE TOURNAMENT! The winner shall be moving on to a triple threat match, while the loser is eliminated from the tourney. Now entering first…”
The opening to “Testify” by Rage Against the Machine begins to play over the arena speaker system as a few in the crowd begin to boo. The lights begin to turn deep red as the music gets louder, crescendoing up to a peak-
“NOW TESTIFY!”
-And three sets of red pyros go off as Justice walks onto the stage. He smiles big as he comes down the ramp, soaking up the boos as the SmarkTron shows off a few of his more memorable moments, like winning the Tag Title Belts, the SJL World at Countdown to Genesis, and a small montage of his finishers.
“Now entering the ring, weighing in 242 pounds and hailing from Royal Oak, Michigan, he is a former Tag Team and Hardcore Gamer’s Champion! A member of the Magnificent 7, he is THE JUDGE, WILLIAM HEAAAARFOOOORD!”
“I find nothing more detestable than a corrupted man of the law,” says Comet with a obvious hint of disgust in his voice, “He makes a mockery of our great legal system!”
“No, I’m pretty sure our legal system does that to itself just fine. Anyways, you have to admire the sheer amount of skill and experience the Judge has. 25 years in the business and still going strong at his age is amazing.”
“I would be impressed if he weren’t disgracing the name of JUSTICE~! all the time with his cheating.”
He walks down the ramp and gets to ringside, walking up the steel steps as he continues to give a few taunts to the louder people in the crowd. He steps in and walks over to his own corner, stretching his arms and neck before lying back in it, awaiting his opponent.
“And entering second…”
The lights dim down low as the Red Hot Chili Peppers “Can’t Stop” begins to come through over the speakers. Onstage a few strobe lights begin to fire off to the beat as the tempo climbs. Soon they turn into small flashes of pyros timed to the backbeat as the beat gets louder and louder. The pyros get larger and larger as well, and finally a pair of huge pyros go off on either side of the stage as the song reaches a peak. From the cloud of smoke created enters the one and only CIA, wearing a Washington Capitals jersey! The crowd pops big as he walks down the ramp while Funyon does his spiel.
“Now entering the ring, weighing in at 245 pounds and hailing from Ottawa, Ontario, he is a former Hardcore Gamer’s Champion! A founding member of International Incident, he is C! I! AAAAAA~!”
“Even if he’s doing bad, the crowd still seems to adore this masked man,” says Comet, “I have to say that sounds much like me, though I was always on top of the wrestling world!”
“Then again, you never won the World Title.”
“When you are as big a star as me, Bobbie, you don’t need the World Title.”
“Hey, how did your movies go again? I can find them in a bargain bin near me, right?”
The Dream walks right into the ring as fans continue cheering, and CIA mounts a turnbuckle before he tosses his jersey into the crowd! A lucky fan gets a one-of-a-kind souvenir as CIA turns around and nods to Eddy Long, who looks over at the Judge, who also signals that he’s ready. With that, the timekeeper gets a finger point from the ref and the match is on!
*DING DING DING*
The bell rings, and CIA comes out of the corner, standing proud while the Judge hunches over in his familiar grappler’s stance. The Judge begins moving quickly to the side, trying to make an early move to get behind CIA, but the Canadian Intelligence Agent quickly spins around while keeping his distance. The two continue to go about, and finally they decide to mutually lock up.
While CIA is the bigger man, the Judge is a bit stronger, allowing him to start controlling the grapple. He twists around and wraps his arm around CIA’s head for a headlock. He drags the face around, wrenching the hold on when he can. Instead of trying to power out of it, the Canadian Intelligence Agent shows his wits, grabbing Hearford round the waist and pulling him up… and back down for an atomic drop! The Judge stays up on his feet, but his body is arched after his tailbone gets dropped right on CIA’s knee. The fan favorite doesn’t waste any time, though, coming up from behind the Judge and nailing him with a hard forearm to the back of the head! CIA takes a moment to play to the crowd while the old veteran gets back up to his feet.
“CIA with incredible resourcefulness early in the match.”
The Judge gets back up to his feet, and the two square off again. This time the Judge dashes around, getting behind CIA and locking on a waistlock! He struggles to try and bring CIA over, but the masked Canadian breaks the lock, spinning around and putting the Judge in one! He also tries for a German, but it just doesn’t work, and Hearford spins around, getting behind CIA once again. But instead of putting on yet another waistlock, he hooks an arm between CIA’s legs and rolls him over for a Schoolboy! The Judge grabs a huge handful of tights as Long immediately dives down for the count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Eddy Long quickly signals for the bell as CIA gives a strong kickout, and the crowd is now livid!
*DING DING DING*
“What in the blue blazes is going on here?!” says Comet, both infuriated and confused at what just happened.
“The Judge defeated CIA in almost a minute! Brilliant!”
“What you talking about?! Obviously some corruption is at work here. That count was faster than a speeding bullet!”
Almost immediately, the Judge is out of the ring and running up the ramp as a stunned CIA is up on his feet again. The crowd is chanting “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” as the Canadian hits one of the nearby turnbuckles with his fist, obviously very angry, before turning around to see a timid Eddy Long looking to get out of the ring. He quicksteps over to him grabbing him by the arm and pulling him into the ring. The sneaky crook puts up his hands in defense as CIA cocks back a hand for a punch, the crowd cheering him on… but he resists, pushing the cheat down to the canvas and exiting the ring, still quite ticked.
“Eddy Long, that dastardly cheat! How many times must a good man’s chance at greatness be ruined by the desires of a greedy man?”
“I guess as long as there are grossly overpaid wrestlers out there willing to do anything to win. Anyways, we’ll be right back for the next match!”
*FADE TO COMMERCIAL*
-
Annie vs. Xcalibur
...
-
The Beast
The Monster
The Myth
The Legend
The…
ANGRY BLACK MAN!
“Damien was the hottest thing to his the scene ever in the SJL. His debut match against Lost Soul was just amazing…the way he just man handled the 7-footer, and had his way with him. He was a phenom. And it was more that just his size and massive strength. Simply put, he captivated audiences and management alike with the feats he accomplished in the ring. In the Newbie Battle Royal in 2001, he completely destroyed everyone, and, in fact, he retired one of the JL’s top prospects before his career had even begun.”
HVT Thugg Passions Faulkner in the first ever Newbie Battle Royale
“Everyone knew they had an animal on their hands. He never talked to anyone, but they all knew him once they had seen him in the ring. And those poor unfortunate souls that had to enter the ring with him…well, it was a day they would never forget. Ask his best friend, Xstasy, or should I say former best friend. They go back and forth, ya know…but that’s a story for another time. The thing about it is, in only his fourth match ever, Thugg beat his best friend and triple crown champion, Xstasy, for the JL World Championship! Fourth Match…a feat never before accomplished…and if you ask me, something that will never be accomplished again.”
Thugg enters midway through the match between El Luchadore Magnifico and Xstasy, and is named as the third participant in the match. Thugg tosses ELM aside like a rag doll, and proceeds to Thugg Passion Xstasy three times, once on a steel chair in route to winning the world championship.
“He held that title for a record 53 days, a record that still stands today. He was in total control of the JL, especially with his ties to the commissioner of the JL at the time, Grimedogg. Together, along with Mistress Sarah and Jacob Helmsley, they made up the Alliance, arguably one of the best stables to ever exist in the JL.”
Thugg stands alongside his Alliance stablemates after defeating Zio, also known as the WF’s Axis, to retain his world championship.”
“And then, of course, was the bump. I think this came as a surprise to everyone because the word around the locker room was that there would be no bump at the Crossfire PPV, but Chris Wilson pulled some strings, and the monster made his debut during a match between Chris Wilson and Divefire. The significance of it was that Thugg came in and completely destroyed Divefire, who was a legend then and still is now. In fact, Thugg injured Divefire so bad, the high-flying susperstar was forced to retire.”
Thugg chokeslams Divefire straight to hell.
“It’s just proof positive that Chris Wilson just knows talent because Thugg absolutely ran threw everyone in the WF. His devastating power maneuvers combined with his immense tolerance for pain and his insane spots had him heading for the top. Well, there was also his alliance with the leadership of the WF in the form of Spike, Rane, and then-owner Shinjo Nobanaga. The IGNWO, as they were called, which consisted of Thugg, Wilson, El Luchadore Magnifico, Spike, Rane, and Shinji, were a dominant force in the federation, and Thugg was their muscle. Out of the ring, he intimidated, strong-armed, and bullied nearly all the talent, all without saying a word. Inside the ring, his Untamed Chokeslam and Thugg Passion finishers became something wrestlers had nightmares about.
After Chris Wilson won the World Title from Mark Stevens, a shot at the champion was put up in a tournament leading up to Genesis II. Thugg first defeated highly touted Spider Nekura, and then squashed his former JL boss, Chris Storm. Then he ran into Axis, a man he beat in the JL while Axis was in the WF but posing as the JL superstar, Zio. Axis, hell bent on revenge for Thugg’s earlier upset, eeked out a win against the monster, but Thugg’s showing set him up for an ICTV title shot at Genesis against Storm and his former love, Mistress Sarah.”
Thugg is driven to the mat by a Factor Bomb from Axis
“Thugg defeated Sarah and Storm to become the ICTV champion, a belt he would hold for a then-record 61 days. During that time, Thugg had a very intense feud with Apostle that put him on the map as a possible main eventer, but when they’re blow off match was canceled because of Apostle’s kidnapping, Thugg fell back below the radar a little. On the brink of stardome, Thugg finally began to speak, and while he was never much of a prolific speaker, he got his point across, however profanity-laced it might have been. Never one to control his temper, Thugg became irate at then world champion and stablemate, El Luchadore Magnifico, because of Magnifico’s outrage at the inclusion of the Suicide King in the IGNWO. Thugg began to lash out at Magnifico every chance he got.”
Thugg and ELM argue during a IGNWO meeting about how to deal with Anarchy and The Midnight Carnival
“Confident and angry, but unable to control his temper in or out of the ring, Thugg didn’t seem ready for that main event push, but the new commissioner, Stubby McWeed, saw fit to book a match and cash in on Thugg and Magnifico’s heat. The match was the ICTV Champion Thugg versus the World Champion Magnifico, both titles on the line. The fed was highly favoring Magnifico, as he had the experience and Thugg had always had trouble with speed/high flying wrestlers. However, if you watch what happened…
Except from the match:
**********************************
Suddenly, the cheers coming from the crowd erupt into a sea of massive pops as who appears on the stage, none other than Edwin MacPhisto standing right next to Perfect Bo, and flanked by Chris Raynor!
<NTD> It's the leaders!!! It's Edwin MacPhisto and Perfect Bo and Chris Raynor!!
<Curry> I see it now!! They've eliminated all the help for Thugg and Magnifico!!
HVT and Magnifico glance at each other and then up to the advancing threesome. HVT and ELM nod to each other and then back up to the center of the ring.
<NTD> YES!! It looks like Thugg and Magnifico are putting their differences aside!!
<Curry> But it doesn't matter. Anarchy and the Midnight Carnival have decided that tonight is the night they will destroy the IGNWO!
The three mega-faces approach the ring and once there, slide right on in. MacPhisto, Rotten, and Bo face off in the center of the ring with an exhausted HVT and ELM, standing toe to toe.
<Curry> Feel it!!! The tension is so thick!! The IGNWO is in major trouble right now!
Suddenly, the punches begin to fly. HVT connects with a punch to Perfect Bo while ELM slams one into MacPhisto's dome. Perfect Bo returns the punch to HVT and quickly, Bo and Rotten are all over the HVille Thugg with punches. They back HVT up to the far ropes, and with a double clothesline, send him over the top rope and down to the floor.
<Curry> Bo and Rotten get rid of the Thugg!! It's absolute chaos out here!!! Chaos!!!
<NTD> The referee needs to get this under control! We've got title on the line here!
Meanwhile, ELM is getting the best of MacPhisto, and has him pinned against the near left ropes. With the crowd cheering their heads off, Bo and Rotten return to help the Macdaddy, both delivering forearms to ELM's back. MacPhisto come out of the corner and the three begin to punch ELM into oblivion against the turnbuckle.
<Curry> This is a war!! A war that Anarchy and the Carnival are winning right now. They're trying to deliver a fatal blow to the IGNWO by taking out their two top belt holders tonight!
<NTD> GODDAMMIT!! Somebody stop this!!
Bo motions for MacPhisto and Rotten to halt the punching. Bo pulls ELM out of the corner, turns him around so they are back to back, and then delivers the most vicious Diamond Cutter ever seen!!
<Curry> PERFECT PAIN!!! BO JUST HIT MAGNIFICO WITH THE PERFECT PAIN!!!! THE WORLD CHAMP IS DESTROYED!!!
The fans pop like they just saw Elvis reenter the building, and their cheers drown out all of the words Bo is yelling at Magnifico. Bo, Rotten, and MacPhisto continue to stomp the hell out of ELM before MacPhisto gets ELM to his feet. MacPhisto turns away from ELM, so they are back to back. As MacPhisto sets ELM up for the Encore Cross, he sees the last thing he expected to see......
......THE BLOODY FACE OF THE HVILLE THUGG!!
<Curry> It's the HVille Thugg!! And he's got a steel chair!!
When Edwin notices Thugg, he's already smashing the chair over the head of Rotten, knocking him to canvas. Edwin releases ELM and runs at HVT, only to be decimated with a chair shot to the head from Thugg.
<NTD> HELLS YEAH!!!! THE HVILLE THUGG TO THE RESCUE!!!!
The fans boo as Edwin goes flying through the ropes from the blow. HVT takes a huge swing at Bo, but Bo alertly ducks. With HVT's back to the near ropes, Bo delivers a kick to HVT's ribs, forcing the big man back against the ropes. The fans are back to cheering as Bo runs in, but HVT lifts him with a back body drop, and Bo goes soaring over the top rope. However, Bo lands on the apron, and when HVT turns around, Bo swings a punch as hard as he can. HVT bobs back, avoiding the blow, and then obliterates Perfect Bo with a chair shot to the head, sending him flying off the apron and causing the boos to shake the arena.
<Curry> Can you believe it?? Thugg taking it to all three men...making the save for the IGNWO!!
<NTD> Score one for the IGNWO!! Anarchy's little plan didn't exactly work out, did it?
<Curry> I guess it didn't.
HVT tosses the chair backwards, where it lands in the center of the ring. HVT yells out a Bo, and then touches his face, wiping away some of the blood. HVT then moves over to the near left corner where ELM is sitting there, seemingly unable to get up.
<Curry> What's this??? Thugg's actually extending a hand to Magnifico!!
<NTD> I told you!! They've put their differences aside for the greater good of the IGNWO!
<Curry> The fans really hate it!
ELM looks around a bit confused, but then takes HVT's hand. HVT bends down and helps Magnifico to his feet, draping the luchadore's arm over his shoulder to support him.
<Curry> I never thought I'd see the day that the HVille Thugg would show any sort of decent spirit. He's actually helping Magnifico. Is it possible that the IGNWO is more in tact than we thought?
<NTD> You're damn straight! And they're stronger than ever!
HVT walks with Magnifico over to the center of the ring, absorbing the loud boos emanating from the crowd.
<Curry> Well, I guess I may have been wrong about the Thugg. Maybe his loyalty to the IGNWO is bigger than some petty argument with Magnifico.
As HVT and Magnifico stand in the middle of the ring, Magnifico takes his draped arm and pats HVT's back. Mag says something to HVT, but it's inaudible. However, seemingly out of nowhere....
...HVT GRABS ELM WITH A ONE HANDED CHOKEHOLD!!!
<Curry> OH MY GOD!!! NO!!!!
<NTD> NO!!!!
HVT gets a sadistic grin on his face just before he lifts ELM high into the air with one hand. HVT spins around in a complete circle, and then slams ELM down with a spinning chokeslam.... .ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!!
<Curry> It was all a damn farce!!! A lie!!! The HVille Thugg is a sick human being!!! He will do anything!!!
<NTD> I'm in utter shock!
With NTD's jaw on the floor, HVT drops down and make the cover as the ref slides in.
ONE!!
TWO!!!
THREEEEEEEE!!!!
DING DING DING
**********************************
“And just like that, the angry black man from DC was the World Champion.”
To Be Continued on Lockdown!
--------------------------------------------------------------
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM!
The crowd explodes as SWF hits the airwaves, entering the homes of millions of viewers worldwide of the Smarkmarks Television Network. The fans in the arena go nuts with their signs, cheers, and jeers, looking for yet another amazing edition of SWF Storm…
(Comet) – SWF STORM!! LIVE FROM THE MCI CENTER IN THE NATION’S CAPITOL!! WHAT A CITY…THE POLITICS…THE SPORTS…THE S…W…F! Alongside the always effervescent, Bobby Riley, I am Cyclone Comet, and we’ve got one heck of a show for you. Last week on Smarkdown, we saw the return of the Hville Thugg, and his remarkable return has been nothing short of a blessing here on the SWF as we look to rid ourselves of the evildoer, Suicide King. Last week, Thugg shocked the world by announcing that he too held a controlling ownership in the SWF, leaving King stunned and confused for probably the first time in his career, wouldn’t you say Bobby?
(Riley) – Definitely Comet. I’m not sure how good of a leader Thugg will turn out to be, but he certainly threw everyone for a loop with his return and ensuing announcement last week, but let me tell you…King will not take this lying down. I can assure you of that.
(Comet) – You’re probably right about that good sir, but he’s got to be reeling and desperate with Thugg back in the picture. Who knows what King has in store for tonight as he tries to recover, but no matter what it is, I hope Thugg and the Coalition is ready!
The camera focuses in on Comet and Riley, who sit excitedly at the announce table…
(Comet) – More importantly tonight, we have the continuation of our tournament to determine the #1 contender to the SWF title, as we move closer and closer to the extravaganza known as Genesis! We have the third round of our winners brackets tonight, but before that, we’re going to check out the second round of matches for those who have lost once already.
(Riley) – Do you mean the loser’s bracket?
(Comet) – Yes Bobby, I do…and again, you ruined my attempt not to demean those good wrestlers who did not win through to the third round. Either way, we’ve got a packed house here at the MCI Center tonight…
(Riley) – Home of the Hville Thugg!
(Comet) – That’s right, home of the Hville Thugg, and we’ve also got a action-packed show to go with this packed house. It should be a HUGE night here in SWF-land, and we’re going to kick things off with XCalibur v. Annie Eclectic in the…
(Riley) – Loser’s Bracket…
(Comet) – Thanks Riley…which should be one great match up. And it’s up…NEXT! STAY TUNED!
SWF Storm!
August 29, 2003
LIVE from the MCI Center in Washington DC!
Loser's Bracket Matches
XCalibur v. Annie Eclectic
CIA v. Judge Mental
"The Sinner" John Duran v. Dante Crane
Crow v. Quiz
"The Franchise" Mak Francis v. Jay Dawg
Viktor Tarankov v. "The Sacred One" Andrew Blackwell
Winner's Bracket Matches
Show v. Michael Craven
Nathaniel Kibagami v. Apostle
Main Event
Danny Williams v. Ejiro Fasaki
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Eric Clapton is probably the most overrated guitarist of his era. I don't like seeing him at #4, but hey, it's a Rolling Stone list. We shouldn't expect much.
No Prince and no ton of metal guitarists people probably care about makes this one, as usual, a wash.
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omg omg it's a war
The Experiment takes direction. Whether you've planned this for awhile or just ran with it, my spider-senses say "sweet."
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Elvis Costello - This Year's Girl, demo version. It's faster than the album version, but not better.Faster and better: the demo of "Living in Paradise."
I'm listening to Outkast's Aquemini, which just hit "Rosa Parks." Cut it up.
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ED, you have no idea how close this was. I went back and forth on a winner so many times. In the end, Judge's match barely eked yours out on a point system I go to if I can't feel out a winner. I think a bit of it went to some more sound wrestling on his behalf, but they were seriously close.
It was really well-organized as a sort of preview to a JL star--you did well having the crowd not care about Dragon at all at first, but gradually warm up to him one way or another. The taste of Robertson was good, and I like the way you use him as a valet. The general story of the two guys trying to out-heel each other worked very well, as it let both ED and Judge exist in their natural environment, without forcing one to play face over the other. Another great parallel was the submission duel, especially the matching Boston Crabs--you handled a lot of the subleties really well. Your writing is really good, and your commentary was very balanced. It was a very good, straight-ahead match.
The flaws: most notable was a finish that felt pretty rushed, especially with the awkward ref bump. It was all going along so smoothly, and that really seemed to clash with the rest of the match's style. Even Robertson's interference up to that point had been nice and subtle. The "I accidentally fell into the ref" thing just was a jarring break from the pace you'd set. This was one spot I could directly compare yours and Judge's matches: he handled the cheating a bit better, as almost all of his consequences stemmed from what the characters did, not a convoluted accident. Those actions seemed more true to the characters rather than a fluke. Also, a few of your transitions felt off. Judge handled them a bit better with a more gradual flow of holds.
It was a really close call, and in the end, your match *was* more exciting. But the soundness from Judge's end just barely edged it out. Great effort though, and I think you'll be in the WF sooner rather than later if you can keep this up.
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He had. Twice, even! Heh.
Thugg's neck was always a sore spot. His first retirement was after a last man standing match vs. Perfect Bo and Edwin, at Crossfire in May 2002. Bo, Stubby, King, Jay Dawg, and Sacred--then united as the stable Creative Control/Da Pound, who had previously been Thugg's allies--attacked Thugg after the match and basically took him out completely. He left the fed injured, as a somewhat sympathetic face for the first time in a long time.
Over the summer of 2002, Jay Dawg went on a huge run with the hardcore title and starting spewing challenges that he wouldn't stop beating asses until Thugg came back and fought him. And so Thugg did for one night only, and so JD beat him at Apocalypse in August 2002 and I think Thugg disappeared again.
Then Perfect Bo and Thugg both made returns around Clusterfuck, and he and Thugg picked up their long-standing feud...and this time it seemed like Thugg was crippled for good after Bo just annihilated him at the PPV. And now he's back, and in a wheelchair! Hoorah!
King and Thugg also have a big world title history--King ended Thugg's first world title reign, and they were part of a pretty bizarre triumvurate. El Luchador Magnifico could never beat Thugg, Thugg could never beat King, and King could never beat Mag. But Thugg beat Mag, Mag beat King, and King beat Thugg. Wackiness!
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FYI guys, I'm gonna try and say as much as I can about the show, but I don't expect to get too much on this thread. Looks like I'm going to be rocking 18 credits this semester, woo.
In any case, if you feel you need my customalicious comments, especially if I've marked your match, hit me with a PM and I'll do my best to get back to you specifically, or post them publically if you think they'll be helpful to others.
What I will comment on now is the big show-wide letters angle, which I thought was great. Though it was patently obvious by the parking lot meeting who it was, once the Thugg-speak started to drop. Still, I think it was really well-executed--I love when someone takes the time to drop 3 or 4 vignettes across the show to tell a little story, and think more people would have less trouble keeping their characters in order if they tried the same now and then. I also like the general idea of a big name from the past coming in and rallying the troops. The whole ICTV thing with Mak was cool too, and I'm glad he got to stand up in the end and get his belt back.
Usually I don't like "dueling authority figures" type angles, but I love these two characters and think this should be fun. I would suggest, though, that King or Thugg take a little time to pull together a history promo so people can feel on the rivalry between these two, which goes back quite a ways.
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Hey, don't feel bad. He beat me twice. And on my birthday nonetheless, oh the tears!
I think I've got everyone covered. Big ol' roster at this point.
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Ah, yes. He was Suicide's brief alter-ego. And your tag partner in that handicap match where Stubby OWNED YOUR ASS. BAM!
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::strips Mak of the ICTV title again::
Bwahahahahahahaha!
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Awwwwwwwwww snap.
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Aristocrat vodka (good, reasonably cheap shit)You're insane. It's like drinking bagged ass without any of the fun.
That's all I have to add.
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I think you should something that doesn't suck. Like, say, not hanging out with criminals.
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YOU MAY NOT REALLY LIVE IN SARASOTA BUT HOMETOWN PRIDE NONETHELESS
Yes, and stuff.
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We were being bored in chat, so I started to come up with a list of everyone ever in the WF. I'm only going on people who were ever a part of the roster--not one-time appearances like the tourney. Add people I've missed and I'll edit them into the list. People who had multiple characters are included if I cared to, not if I didn't, but never counted twice if they're the same person. I.E., Danny Vigilante and Spider Nekura count as one entry, not two. I'm sure I even left a few people on the current roster off, so jump in anytime. If someone wants to even TRY a JL list...well, you have my sympathies.
Alphabetically! Well, mostly. I mean, I just used "Mark Stevens" and "Mak" and other similar shortlistings, so it's not perfect.
MR. GALATEA
Adam the Red/Roja
Angel
Angelous/Robert Steele
Annie E
Apostle
Ash Ketchum
Axis
BasketballASA
BenH
Ced Ordonez
Chris Storm
Chris Wilson
CIA
Comet
Crow
Curry Man
Dace
Damien Diablo
Danny Williams
Dante Crane
Divefire
Duran
Edwin
Ejiro
ELM
Erek Taylor
Exploding Chicken
Extreme Hound
Fallout
Frost
Fugue
Funyon
GOAT/G0Drea Montgomery
Grimedogg
Grunge
Harbinger/Reason
Heat
Insane Joe Flyer
Janus
Jay Dawg/Jamie Bjork
JaysonG
John Kruger
Johnny Dangerous
Judge
THE SUICIDE KING
KOs
LDP
Lunar Shadow
Madrac
Mak
Mark Stevens
McCheese
Mercury/Grahf/Masked Apprentice
Mistress Sarah
Molock/Alex Cross
Munich
MVS/Quiz
Neilsen
Nekura/Danny V
NTD
Outcast
PDS
Perfect Bo
Psykotic
Rane
Raynor
Red Hurricane
Renegade
Riley/Breggan
Rotten
Sacred
Show
Silencer/Xcalibur
Silent
Spark
Spike
Strangler
Stryke
Stubby/Simon Flare
Suicide/James Vincetti
Thoth
Thugg
TNT
Tod deKindes
Tom Flesher
Trash
Va'aiga
Wildchild
X
Xero
Xtreme
Z
And this all begs the question...was Tom Flesher really BasketballASA?
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It feels like something's heatin' up. Can I leave wit' chu?
SWF Storm for August 29th!
in Smarks Wrestling Federation
Posted · Edited by Edwin MacPhisto · Report reply
SWF Storm rolls back into Washington, D.C., the crowd still on their feet form the thrill of the last match! Scanning the sold-out MCI Center, several signs are visible, most of them having to do with the newest man to step up against King’s power, the hometown hero, The Hville Thugg! But turning our attention from the Thuggaholics, we cut to the SWF announcing team, who are behind the announce table, ready for the action to begin!
Riley: Welcome back to SWF Storm! We’re live in the crime and murder capital of America, Washington, D.C., and I’m Bobby Riley!
Comet: But fear not, young associate, for there shall be no crime and murder done to anyone in DC, especially you, because a defender of truth and justice is here! A defender of truth and justice named CYCLOOOOOOOOOOONE COMET!
Riley: ...Let me get on my bullet-proof vest, Comet.
Comet: But my steel-tough body deflects all bullets-
Riley: Kid, you’re not Superman. You don’t have laser vision or anything like that.
Comet: No, but I have this laser pointer... OF JUSTICE!
Comet reaches into his utility bely, pulling out a laser pointer, and placing it in his forehead turns it on, pretending he has laser vision. Riley covers his eyes, blocking the laser as it traverses over the outside of his hands.
Riley: DAMMIT, GET THAT AWAY FROM MY EYES! ARE YOU TRYING TO BLIND ME?!?!
Comet: Yes... from the evils that you say lurk in such a place! Though I cannot see how since our great co-owner Thugg is from the area-
Riley: And he’ll be more than glad to wreck yo shit, caped freak. But next, we’ve got our first match in the Genesis IV #1 Contendership Tournament Winner’s Bracket-
Comet: But not any winner’s bracket, no! ‘Tis the Smartmarks Winner’s Federation Winner’s Bracket!
Riley: Shut up, you idiot! Like I said, it’s a Winner’s Brakcet match with Michael Craven going up against Show! It’s been an interesting ride for both men as they’ve advanced in the bracket. Craven has defeated two former foes, IL and Annie Eclectic, while Show beat Aecas and CIA, narrowly missing fighting Spike after he was suspended! But which big man will be the first to move on to the winner’s bracket finals! Let’s find out!
The crowd quiets down, but as it does, Rod Roddy’s voice blares over the loudspeakers...
“Show! Come on down!”
In the ring, Vicky Black turns over the name “Show” on a green sparkle Wheel-of-Fortune board as Crystal Waters’ “Come On Down” begins, and a pair of sliding doors open to reveal Show! He steps out and onto the ramp, microphone in his hand as he walks down the ramp, smiling broadly and flashing his pearly whites.
Funyon: The following Genesis IV Tournament match is scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, from Studio 3B, he weighs in at 299 pounds and is one half of the SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, DOUBLE JEOPARDY... SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!
Brining the mic up to his lips as Funyon finishes, Show smiles before he speaks.
Show: Tonight’s question is who is getting their ass kicked… and I do believe the answer is Michael Craven! SURVEY SAYS!
Vicky Black turns over “Michael Craven” on the board, as Show throws the microphone away, sliding into the ring and posing as he waits for the match to begin.
Riley: Did Show just say he was going to kick Craven’s ass?
Comet: Why yes he did, young Robert!
Riley: Comet, does Show even know what he just said?
Comet shrugs his shoulders, but as he does, the lights cut out, the crowd going silent for a second. Suddenly, strobe lights pulse to the beat of the guitar and drums in the background as Saliva’s “King of My World” kicks in, the crowd beginning to boo loudly. As the first words kick in, the strobes cut out, a pale blue light covering the arena, illuminating the figure of Michael Craven as he walks out onto the stage, no expression visible on his shadowed face. Continuing his walk down to the ring, he turns around at the top of the ramp, walking backwards as he stretches his arms out wide, soaking in the crowd’s jeers. Halfway down the ramp, though, he abruptly spins back around, swinging his right arm in a straight path across the top of the stage.
“BOOM!”
A huge blast of bright white pyro kicks up, the smoke lingering on stage for quite some time as Craven finishes the spin, continuing his walk to ringside without interruption.
Funyon: And, from Tampa, Florida, weighing in at 280 pounds... ladies and gentlemen, The King Of Nightmares... MICHAEL CRAVENNNNN!!!
Entering casually through the middle and top ropes, Craven quickly scales the turnbuckle closest to him, opening his arms wide and soaking in the crowd’s response, a chorus of heavy boos, as a white spotlight shines down upon him, casting shadows across his face.
Riley: This should be very interesting. Two similar-sized men, with somewhat-similar styles, both fighting for a chance to face The Boston Strangler at Genesis IV!
Comet: I must say, the crowd seems very excited about this battle, Robert, but evil-versus-evil? How can that be exciting?
Riley: You just sit there and figure it out, OK? Don’t speak until you do!
Turning his head around, he smiles as he sees Show, hopping down to warm-up on the ropes in his corner. Show backs off to the opposite corner, waiting for Craven to finish his stretching. Kivell also waits, and as Craven finishes, bringing himself up to look at Show, he nods that he is ready. Show nods back, and with both men ready, Kivell turns around, and signaling to the timekeeper...
DING DING DING!
Riley: Winner’s Bracket Semi-final match under way!
The two men slowly move to the center of the ring and immediately lock up, but Show gains a quick advantage, transitioning into a front facelock and wrestling Craven to the mat! Mike, though, puts is amateur experience to use, grabbing Show by the legs and pulling forward. Doing so shifts Show’s balance, causing him to fall onto his back, but Craven holds onto the legs, bridging into a pin!
One-The hold breaks before Kivell can even make the count, both men rising to their feet. Show moves forward to grab Mike, but Craven drops to his knees, tripping Show across his shoulders before he flips him onto his back with a fireman’s carry! Show hits the mat, Craven immediately leaping on top of Show, pinning him down to the mat!
One-The count again breaks before Kivell can make a count, both men rising quickly back to their feet. As they do so, Craven goes low, grabbing Show around both of his legs, but Show grasps Craven in a waistlock as he grabs his legs, pulling free of the double leg takedown as he lifts Craven and rolls towards Craven’s back, effectively gut wreching him into a sunset flip pin! Kivell drops down to count...
One-Craven breaks the hold! The crowd cheers not for the break as much as the action in the ring, which is keeping them well-entertained and attracted.
Comet: Robert, perhaps you could explain as to why these two no-do-gooders are chain-wrestling?
Riley: It’s simple. Show started out by trying to power Craven to the mat, so Craven naturally responded with an anateur counter and move of his own. After that, I don’t really know what happened, but perhaps both men are trying to show the other one up, no pun intended. But oddly enough, why would Show try to do something like this, knowing Craven can more than hold his own in such a style?
Both men rise to their feet, but Show backs away, dodging Craven as he lunges out, trying to grab hold of Show. He hops to the right, ducking Craven as he dives at his legs, The King of Nightmares hitting the mat hard as Show keeps moving. Risnig back to his feet, though, Craven finally catches him, grabbing him around both legs and driving him into the mat with a double leg takedown! As Show hits the mat, though, he puts his knowledge of the mat to use, rolling onto his back to prevent Craven from rolling into another pin on him. In return, Craven drops to his knees, locks his arm around Show’s thigh, and lifts up, rolling onto his side, but pinning Show’s shoulders to the mat as he executes a crotch lift! Kivell drops to count...
One!
Show breaks the pin attempt! He is clearly not doing as well as he expected against Craven, perhaps forgetting that like Flesher and Francis, Craven was at one time an amateur wrestler. Both men rise back to their feet, but as they do, Show lunges at Craven’s legs... and connects! Grasping Craven’s left leg, he attempts to force him down witha singe leg takedown, but the crafty Craven spins himself around while in Show’s clutches, grasping him around the head and between the legs before he falls, letting Show slam him down on his side, but in doing so, Show knocks himself into a side cradle, Craven pinning Show to the mat! Kivell drops down, counting out...
One!
Tw-Show breaks the pin attempt, knocking Craven onto his back!
Riley: Another amateur takedown by pin, and Craven barely gets under two!
Comet: It seems Citizen Craven is trying to out-wrestle Show early on, perhaps trying to tire him out, conniving cohort!
Riley: But I’m more surprised he hasn’t realy started woking on a certain body part yet. He’s normally already started doing so, but maybe Show’s trying to-
As Bobby comments, both men slowly rise to their feet, but as they do, Show lifts his knee up, slamming it into a distracted Craven’s gut! Show’s plan of sidetracking Craven works perfectly as Mike grabs his gut, clutching it in temporary pain. In doing so, he allows Show to bring his arm up before clubbing it into the back of Craven, dropping him to the mat quickly.
Riley: Ouch! What a blow! Craven looks like he’s in pain!
Comet: Show just dropped citizen Craven faster than Jimmy Hoffa in concrete shoes out on Lake Michigan!
Riley: Are you running out of analogies already, Comet?
Comet: Certainly not, as I always carry with me my copy of the Superhero’s Book of Analogies, Cliches, And Other Such Phrases!
Riley: ... I should have never asked...
Craven grabs his back in pain as Show pulls him up by his hair, nailing him in the head with a few hard right hands. Dragging him onto his feet, Show connects with two more right hands before he grabs Craven by the arm to whip him to the ropes, but instead of letting him fly to the ropes, Show throws his arm out, dripping Craven to the mat with a short-arm clothesline! As Craven’s body hits the mat, Show quickly covers him, holding Mike down for the pin attempt!
Comet: What a clothesline of villainy! Young Show has knocked citizen Craven off his feet, and here’s a cover!
One!
Tw-Kickout by Craven!
Riley: Show’s going right for that weakened neck of Craven, which is probably what Craven expected.
Comet: The question is not what Craven expects, young apprentice, but how long his neck can take such heinous and sinister punishment of doom~!
Pulling Craven to his feet, Show throws another hard knee into his gut, once more doubling over The King of Nightmares. With Craven bent over, Show draws his forearm up, bludgeoning Craven’s neck with a clubbing blow! Craven drops to his knees, grabbing his neck as he slowly rises, but Show swings down again, dropping Craven back to his knees again with another clubbing neck shot! Mike cries out in pain, rising even slower the third time, but he fails to rise back up before Show connects with a third blow to Craven’s neck knocking him flat on the mat for several seconds. Show stands back, watching Craven as he rises slowly off the mat, grabbing his neck in pain, and as he gets to his feet, Show boots Craven in the gut, grabbing him around the head in a front facelock before dropping back and DDTing Craven into the mat!
Comet: Quite the DDT from Show, bouncing Craven off his fragile neck... OF EVIL~!
Riley: Just pick which one is more “evil” already, Comet. You’re getting ten times more annyoing than you usually are.
Now on the mat, Show quickly rolls Craven over onto his back and hooks his leg, forcing Cravens’ shoulders into the mat! Kivell drops to count...
One!
Two!
... Kickout by Craven! The crowd boos loudly at the kickout, finally getting involved in the match for the first real time as Show grabs Craven by his head, pulling him to his feet. As he pulls Craven up, though, Show reaches down, grabbing Craven between his legs and turning him upside-down, slams him down into the mat with a scoop slam!
Riley: A scoop slam from Show... and why the hell are they booing Craven? If this is “evil-versus-evil”, then why aren’t both men being booed?
Comet: It’s simple, Robert. Craven is alligned with Suicide King, and the crowd hates King because he hates Thugg, whom the crowd loves. Therefore, by the process of association, they hate Craven as well, and they want to see him lose, so they cheer Show, hoping he’ll win.
Still standing, Show sees Craven in a prone position for more punishment. He lumbers to the ropes, going as fast as he can, and as the big man bounces back, he leaps into the air, pulling his legs up before he leg drops Craven across his throat/neck! Craven grabs his neck in response, rolling onto his back in pain, but Show pulls him back over, and hooking his leg, tries to pin him to the mat again!
One!
Two!
... Kickout by Craven! The crowd is displeased, wanting to see King’s disciple go down, but that is not the case... yet. Focusing back in the ring, Show grabs Craven, pulling him up into a sitting position before grasping him around the head and neck in a sleeper hold! The crowd pops as a chant begins to grow louder, becoming more and more audible:
Crowd: Kick his ass, Show! “Clap-clap-clapclapclap!” Kick his ass, Show! “Clap-clap-clapclapclap!”
Riley: Hey, this crowd’s biased! Just because Craven’s better than any of you doesn’t mean you have to boo him!
Comet: I must side with the fans and root Show on, as he is the lesser of two evils.
Riley: What, by holding Craven down with a sleeper?
Comet: Yes, the sleeper hold... OF TEMPORARY JUSTICE~!
Craven has both arms free, allowing him to push off against the mat, using his size to his advantage as he begins to force himself up against the slightly bigger Show. Show tries to force him back down, but he has little success at doing so, resulting in Mike being alboe to get to his feet, but now in a standing sleeper. The crowd continues their chant as Craven draws a free arm forward, slamming an elbow back into Show’s ribcage! The crowd pops as Show cries out, but holds on, forcing Craven to once again throw an elbow into Show’s ribs. The second elbow also draws boos and distracts Show just enough so that the hold slightly loosens, allowing Mike to break free of the sleeper to a tremendous chorus of boos! Craven gasps for air as he tries to catch his breath, but Show grabs him from behind, lifting him onto his shoulder, and falling back, slams Craven on his neck with a backdrop! The King of Nightmares cries out as Show sits up following the drop.
Comet: Lo and behold! Show has cast evil to the mat with that backdrop...
Riley: Let me guess... of justice~?!?!
Comet: No, just an ordianry backdrop, Citizen Riley. Nothing justice-like about that.
Recovering slowly from the backdrop, Craven rises and staggers to his feet, grabbing his neck in pain, the crowd cheering loudly as Show ascends, turning to face the King of Nightmares. He backs up a little bit, taunting Mike with a quick pose as he waits for him to stop staggering, and once he does, charges forward at Craven, lifting his leg up and thrusting it out into a yakuza kick! Show catches Craven as he recovers from the backdrop, looking up to see the kick on it’s way, but out of familiarity, Craven ducks out of the way of the kick! Show brings his leg down as he realizes that Mike ducked, but turning around, Craven weakly throws a kick into his chest. Show catches the kick, leaving Craven in a dangerous position, but Craven improvises, leaping off his other leg and swinging that same leg around into Show’s face, both men falling to the mat as a result of an enziguri! Show grabs his jaw, slowly sitting back up while both men get up onto their feet. Show draws his arm back, nailing Craven with a right hook as he swings forward, but Craven takes the blow and counters with a hook of his own! Show’s head whips to the right side, whipping back to the left as a perfectly-timed left hook crashes into his jaw!
Riley: Craven’s finally fighting back! He’s got Show on the ropes, and perhaps, now we’ll get to see Craven dominate!
Comet: Never fear, for his vain attempt a comeback shall fail in the end!
Riley: Fail, like “They Came From Outer Space, Part II” did at the box office, Comet? I believe you’re familiar with that bomb-
Comet: Now, now, Robert, let’s not bring my acting career into this match. Besides, it was the number one grossing movie in Afghanistan for six weeks!
Riley: Really… how many people still live in Afghanistan? Six?
Show staggers back a step or two as Craven makes his next move, placing his hands behind Charlie’s head. The former Grappler can do little as Craven sits down, driving Show’s chin down with a sitdown jawbreaker! The subsequent release of Show’s head causes his neck to whip back as he falls to the mat, Craven slowly getting back to his feet.
Riley: Sitdown jawbreaker from Craven, and look at Show drop to the mat! I haven’t seen anyone or anything fall like that… oh wait, I forgot about your credibility as an actor!
Comet: I suggest you focus on the match, humor-deprived homosexual!
Riley: Don’t even start with the gay insinuations, masked marauder…
Show begins to recover from the jawbreaker as he ascends, but in doing so, leaves himself vulnerable to further attack from Craven. The King of Nightmares quickly moves to position himself in front of Show, so that when he steps forward, Craven can grab him around both legs and lift him into the air. Only keeping him up for a second, Craven falls back, slamming Matthews onto his face with a flapjack!
Riley: Monstrous flapjack from Craven! Show just landed on his face!
Craven lets go of Show’s legs, the Tag Champ rolling onto his back as he covers his face with both hands, crying out in pain. Rather than pull him up for another move, Craven rolls over and crawls on top of Kivell, hooking his leg and pinning him to the mat! Kivell begins to count…
One!
Two!
Show kicks out! Craven doesn’t waste time, though, grabbing Show by his head and pulling him onto his feet.
Comet: Ha! Evil is overpowered again! Justice and truth shine through once more!
Riley: That’s not justice! Justice is Craven kicking Show’s ass all over Washington, D.C.!
As he is pulled to his feet, Show is grabbed around the neck by Craven and whipped over his shoulder, landing in a sitting-up position on the mat after being snap mared by Mike, releasing his grip on the chain as he flips. Now on the mat, Show is grabbed around the head and arm by Craven, thrown into a dragon sleeper! Show tries to fight his way out, but Craven helps him up, oddly pulling him to his feet at first, but then, it becomes apparent why he has done so. With Show in the right position, all Craven has to do is spin and sit down, slamming Show’s head off his shoulder with the Roll of The Dice!
Riley: Roll of the Dice!!! Craven hit Show with the Roll of the Dice! If he can pin him, it’s over!
The crowd watches on, booing loudly as Craven releases Show, rolling him over and hooking his leg. They boo even louder as Kivell counts over them:
One!!!!
Two!!!
THR-Kickout at the last second by Show! Craven cries out in anger astThe crowd roars with cheers. Kivell jumps up, holding up only two fingers while Craven protests, holding up three fingers. Kivell continues to hold two up, refusing to change his count, and he gets two fingers from Craven in response.
Comet: My, citizen Craven seems extremely upset with citizen Kivell’s correct and honest call!
Riley: You’d be pissed, too, if the ref was blatantly counting slow just so that you wouldn’t win!
Pulling Show to his feet as he rises, Craven nails him with two hard right overhand punches, sending him staggering back a step as Craven runs for the ropes, bouncing off them and flying back at Show, nailing him with a quick clothesline! Show slams into the mat, slowly rising off it as Craven strikes, kicking Show in the gut. Craven grabs him around the head as he doubles over, and wasting little time, lifts him up into the air, dropping back quickly as he plants Show’s head into the mat with an inverted DDT! Show lands on the mat facing down, but instead of releasing the hold to pin Show, Craven quickly grabs Show around the arm as well as the head and scissors his body, throwing the bigger man into a guillotine choke hold!
Riley: Craven Clutch on Show! The King of Nightmare’s time-honored guillotine choke has resurfaced as Craven continues to wrench Show’s neck! It’s only a matter of time now!
Craven smiles as he traps Show in the hold, punishing his neck. Show’s muscles tense and strain as he reaches out, his neck throbbing in pain, but the ropes, the only thing he can do to save himself right now, are not in front of him. Show gasps for air as the hold is still applied, but he’s familiar with this move and knows how to break it. Forcing his legs up under his body as far as he can, he digs in, elevating himself and pushing Craven back onto his shoulders! Kivell drops to make the count as Show pins Craven down:
One!!!
Two!!!
TH-Craven releases the hold and pulls his shoulder up! Show falls over as Craven releases the hold, The King of Nightmares slowly rising to his feet.
Comet: An ingenious, spuerheroic mobe by Show, nearly pinning citizen Craven with his own move!
Rising to his feet, Craven grabs Show, pulling him up. Reaching back, he unloads with two hard right hands before grabbing Show’s arm and whipping him to the ropes! Show lumbers forward, hitting the ropes and bouncing off them as Craven ducks down, peparing to throw Show into a back body drop. Show, though, drives his knee up as he hits Craven. leaping into the air and knocking Craven to the mat with a high knee smash! Craven hits the mat, rising with a hand on his face, but Show cuts him off at the pass, grabbing him from the side, and hooking his right leg with Craven’s, trips Craven up, sending him slamming back into the mat with a STO!
Riley: Lovely Parting Gift from Show! Craven got hit out of nowhere!
Comet: But how did such a big man sneak up on Craven?
Riley: I think he was dazed, Comet.
As Craven hits the mat, Show quickly covers him, Kivell dropping to make the count while the crowd rises from their seats...
One!
Two!
THR-Kickout by Craven, causing the crowd to boo loudly! Show grabs hold of Craven’s head, pulling him to his feet, and once there, he grabs him in a waistlock from behind and lifts him into the air, releasing him into a German suplex!
Riley: A German from Show right after the kickout, and Craven just landed on his neck!
Craven crashes down on the back of his neck, bouncing off the mat onto his chest. He clutches his neck, crying out in horribe pain from the move while Show sits up, pushing himself to his feet before he makes his way over to Craven. Instead of pinning Craven, though, Show reaches down and pulls him up onto his feet, hitting two quick jabs on the way up, and grabbing him by the arm, whips him to the ropes! Craven, though, stunningly reverses the whip, sending Show flying to the ropes as Craven nearly falls over. Shows hits and bounces off the ropes, and as he does, Michael Craven leaps into the air, flipping and catching Show in the chin with a dropkick to boos from the displeased crowd! but Craven boots him in the stomach, causing Shwo to double over. Grabbing Show in a side headlock, Craven catches his breath for a second before he takes off, running a short distance before bulldogging Show onto his face!
Riley: Bulldog from Craven! Show’s down! All Craven has to do is cover him and he’s got him!
Craven quickly rolls Show over, hooking his leg as he pins Show down for...
One!
Two!
THREE-Kickout by Show, causing the crowd to pop loudly! Craven is in a state of disbelief as he slowly gets to his feet, arguing with referee Mathew Kivell.
Comet: And right makes might once again, as that somewhat-do-gooder Show kicks out!
Riley: Show’s not good in any way, Comet!
Comet: Well, he’s less evil than Craven.
Craven bends down, pulling Show back to his feet, slightly smiling with a smirk as the crowd continues to boo. The King of Nightmares makes the fans boo louder, immediately nailing Show with a hard right to the temple! Show goes down stunned, dropping to the mat for a second. He quickly rises to his feet, where Craven fires off three rapid right hands and whips Show to the ropes. Show hits them and comes off them hard but as Craven waits for Show to return, the Tag Champ cocks his arm back, swinging it around and clocking Craven in the head with a runnning elbow smash that drops him to the mat!
Comet: RUNNING FOREARM SMASH OF NOT-SO-EVILNESS FROM SHOW~!
Riley: It’s called the Password Plus, you moron.
Comet: Regardless, it has knocked Citizen Craven onto the mat, where he will get what he deserves!
As Craven hits the mat, Show jumps on top of him, covering him while Kivell drops to count...
One!
Two!
THREE-Kickout by Craven! The crowd boos in anger, hoping that the running elbow smash would have done Craven in, but he has barely survived it. However, Show grabs Craven, slowly pulling him to his feet.
Comet: So close! Justice was nearly served on that nefarious Craven!
With Craven pulled up onto his feet, Show reaches up to hit two more right-hand punches, then runs back for the ropes. He bounces off them, flying back at Craven, but he suddenly spots Craven’s right arm dropping to the mat as he ducks down, quickly bring it back and up. Show knows what’s coming, but he can’t put on the brakes fast enough, and he is helpless to watch as a diving Craven’s right forearm flies into his face! Upon impact, Annie is thrown onto his back abruptly while Craven lands on his knees. The crowd begins to boo loudly as Craven tries to slowly push himself onto his feet, breathing heavily and still grabbing his neck.
Comet: ZOUNDS! What power! What move is that, Robert?
Riley: That, Comet, is a charged-up forearm smash from Craven to Show!
Breaking his daze, Show tries to climb to his feet, his head throbbing in pain from the last move! The King of Nightmares, though, awaits him, and reaching down, Craven slides the recovering Show onto his shoulders! Craven holds Show for a second before he helicopter spins him, dropping him down into a stunner with the last of his energy before he collapses back onto the mat!
Riley: GULF COAST CRUNCH!!! GULF COAST CRUNCH BY CRAVEN! BOTH MEN DOWN!!!
Show and Craven lie on the mat near each other, neither moving, but slowly, Craven rolls over, struggling to throw an arm/shoulder on top of Show’s chest, the best he can do to cover him as Kivell drops to make the count.
Riley: THIS MIGHT BE IT! HERE’S THE COVER!
Comet: For the sake of all things good, let this not be the end of the match! Do not let evil conquer not-as-evil!
Riley: ...What the hell do you mean, Comet?
One!
Two!
THREE!!!
DING DING DING!!!!
“King Of My World” plays in the background as Craven tries to get up, but collapses back to the mat. Kivell assists Craven, helping him up to his feet, but Craven them shoves Kivell aside, looking down at Show, a large smile spread across his face as Funyon makes it official.
Funyon: The winner of this contest by pinfall and advancing to the Winner’s Bracket finals... MICHAEL CRAVEN!!!
Riley: YES! Craven wins again! Take that, Mr. Spandex Pants!
Comet: It seems that the greater of the two evils has come out victorious, Robert, but he shall get his... perhaps at the hands of CYCLOOOOOOOONE COMET~!
Riley: I doubt that, caped blunder, but next, we’ve got more action, including Apostle battling Nathan Kibagami and our main event, a battle of the armbars between Danny Williams and Ejiro Fasaki! We’ll be right back after this brief commercial break!