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Chuck Woolery

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  1. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Lockdown, 12-15-04!

    FADE IN “We’re back on Lockdown,” says Cyclone Comet. “And coming up next, we’re about to see Carnage and David Cross taking on the recently returned Wild and Dangerous!” “Wild and Dangerous surprised everyone by making an unannounced return to the SWF last week on Storm,” adds Bobby Riley. “But this time, they don’t have the element of surprise on their side; their opponents have had five days to prepare, and I’m going to have to say that Carnage and Cross have the advantage in this match.” Comet looked astonished. “Carnage and Cross? They’ve never teamed together, Robert. What makes you believe that they will be able to out-finesse the former Tag Team Champions?” “They don’t have to ‘out-finesse’ them, Comet,” replies Bobby. “I think that you’re making too much of their performance against Martin Hunt and Chance Silver last week. Wild and Dangerous hasn’t faced off as a team against real competition in… months, Comet. And there’s no question that Carnage and David Cross are coming into this match in better shape than those two ham-and-eggers that Wild and Dangerous got in the ring with last week.” “I think that you’re underestimating the value of unit cohesion in tag team competition, Bobby,” says Comet, “but we’ll soon see which team comes out on top! Take it away, Funyon!” The SWF’s favorite clotheshorse stands in the center of the ring, this time wearing a white tuxedo, with a powder blue bow tie and cummerbund. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he booms, “the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen-minute time limit!” As he pauses for air, Ozzy Osbourne’s “Back on Earth” begins to blast through the speakers… BOOM! A short burst of pyro lights up the stage, heralding the arrival of David Cross. The former Tag Team Champion walks down the aisle to a mixed reaction, with the crowd apparently divided between the loyal “Cross-bearers” and those who were rooting for his opponents. “Introducing first,” continues Funyon, “from Oil City, Pennsylvania, weighing two hundred seventy-seven pounds… DAAAAAAAVID CROSSSSS!” David removes his worn leather jacket as he walks up the ring steps, and then removes his cross necklace upon entering the ring, leaning over the ropes to hand both out to the ring attendant. “You’ve got to feel for David Cross,” says Comet pityingly. “He and Christian Fury lost the Tag Team Championship to Revolution Zero in a heartbreaking triple-threat match, and then he had to deal with the unexpected breakup of his tag team, and now he’s going to have to compete alongside the unpredictable Carnage against a very accomplished tag team here tonight!” “I disagree,” refutes Bobby. “I don’t have to feel the least bit sorry for Cross. So his partner left; big deal. I’m not going to shed any tears for him. Besides, he could do a lot worse than to be teaming up with a guy like Carnage, especially with a guy like Frisco in their corner.” Comet looks towards Bobby with distaste. “I can’t believe you just made a case for Frisco being a good thing.” Riley merely shrugs in response. “Well, Comet, Frisco may not be the most likeable person in the world, but the one thing that you can’t dispute is that he’s not above doing whatever it takes to get his man a victory. And, likeable or not, that’s exactly the sort of attributes you want to have in a manager!” At that exact moment, “Back on Earth” fades out, only to be replaced by the manic sounds of Drowning Pool: LET THE BODIES HIT THE… FLOOOOOOOOOOOR! A dull white fog rises from the stage area as Carnage sloughs his way down towards the ring, led by the enigmatic Frisco. “His tag team partner,” says Funyon, “being led towards the ring by Frisco; from Parts Unknown, weighing in at three hundred seven pounds… CAAAAAAARNAGE!” “That character troubles me, Robert,” says Comet. “Why’s that,” quips Riley. “Because he looks better in a mask than you?” Comet rolls his eyes. “Oh, please.” Frisco walks up the steel steps as Carnage slides underneath the ring. He walks towards Cross, offering his hand, but David is reluctant to shake his hand. “Look at all that beef in the ring, Comet,” notes Riley. “I can’t see Wild and Dangerous being able to beat these guys; their opponents are just too big and strong.” “Carnage and Cross have a definite size and strength advantage,” concedes Comet. “But they’ve never worked together as a team, which works in their opponents favor, and it doesn’t look as though Citizen Cross is particularly happy about having to work with Carnage at all!” “Trust me, Comet,” counters Riley, “once the bell rings, they’ll be able to work to their differences, and then it’s only a matter of time before they’re able to wear Wild and Dangerous down!” “Bodies” fades into the ethereal, to be quickly replaced by the Prodigy’s “Fuel My Fire.” The Pepsi Center comes alive as Johnny Dangerous and Wildchild burst out onto the stage! “Their opponents,” shouts Funyon, “at a total combined weight of four hundred thirty-one pounds… WILD! AAAAAAAAAND DANGEROUS!” Wildchild and Johnny slap hands with the fans as they streak down towards the ring, sliding into the ring and clearing their opponents out of the ring as twenty thousand fans cheer for them! “Listen to this ovation for Wild and Dangerous,” cries Comet, trying desperately to be heard over the roar of the crowd. “The former Tag Team Champions have a strong following here in Denver!” Johnny and Wildchild climb onto the turnbuckles, looking out into the crowd as they continue to show their appreciation. “It’s just a nostalgia pop, Comet,” Bobby says dismissively. “Nothing more. As soon as Carnage and Cross take control of this match, you’ll see how quickly the fans abandon them!” “Don’t be ridiculous,” snaps Comet. “Wild and Dangerous are one of the most popular teams in the history of the SWF; I can’t imagine that the fans would simply turn their backs on them, even if they did get off to a slow start!” Out on the arena floor, Frisco gathers Carnage and Cross close to him, trying to lay out a strategy for the match. Wild and Dangerous climb down from the turnbuckles and submit themselves to an inspection of their knee and elbow pads as “Fuel My Fire” fades out. Carnage and Cross slide back into the ring in front of their corner as Wildchild and Johnny high-five each other, before Johnny exits to the ring apron. “Wildchild is going to start to the match off for Wild and Dangerous, which is their normal modus operandi,” says Comet. “Let’s see which one of their opponents leads off!” “I’m inclined to suspect that it’ll be Carnage,” says Riley. “Well, Robert,” says Comet, as David Cross steps out onto the apron, “you appear to be right!” “Of course I’m right,” replies Bobby. “I’m right about damn near everything, and your life would be a lot easier once you came to terms with that fact!” Referee Matthew Kivell motions to the timekeeper to ring the bell, signifying the start of the match. DING! DING! DING! “Bell’s gone,” says Comet, “and we’re underway!” Carnage and Wildchild remain close to their respective corners, each hesitant to make the first move. “It appears as though neither competitor wants to telegraph their attack to their opponent,” notes Comet. Carnage stares across the ring at Wildchild, who remains crouched in his corner, unmoving. Carnage, accustomed to reacting to his opponent, is taken off guard by Wildchild’s refusal to do anything, and glances outside the ring to Frisco for guidance… That moment’s hesitation proves to be all the opening that the Bahama Bomber needs… WHAM! In the blink of an eye, the super-fast Wildchild blazes across the ring, leaping into the air and knocking Carnage backwards into the corner with a running dropkick! Wildchild quickly gets back to his feet before Carnage can react, and begins hammering him in the face with a series of quick right hands! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! With Carnage leaned up against the corner, Wildchild climbs up onto the second turnbuckle, and begins to deliver a ten-count punch! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI… SLAM! But Cross grabs Wildchild by the hair and jerks him backwards off of his partner, sending him tumbling onto the mat! “What a heads up move by David Cross,” says Riley. “That’s good tag team wrestling!” Wildchild pops back to his feet and looks out to the ring apron, barking at Cross… WHAM! … Leaving him open to a running shoulderblock by Carnage, which sends the Bahama Bomber flying backwards, through the ropes, and out to the arena floor! “How do you like those apples, Comet,” crows Riley. “Who’s showing the better continuity now?” Wildchild scrambles back to his feet and charges back towards the ring… WHAM! … Only to be forced back by Carnage, who thrusts his massive leg between the top and middle ropes, blasting Wildchild in the chest, and kicking him away! Johnny leans into the ring, barking at the referee to take action, and causing Kivell to chase him back onto the apron. “As you can see, Wild and Dangerous weren’t prepared for Carnage and David Cross to be as cohesive a unit as they are,” says Riley. “They’ve got ‘em running scared!” Wildchild moves back towards the ring apron, prompting Carnage to thrust his leg between the top and middle ropes once more to kick out of the ring, but this time, the Bahama Bomber grabs his foot and twists it back towards the ring, tucking it between the middle and bottom ropes! “It looks like you may have spoken too soon, Bobby,” shouts Comet, as Wildchild grabs Carnage by the other leg and trips him, knocking him onto his back in the ring. “Wildchild has Carnage’s leg trapped in the ropes!” “What a dirty tactic by Wildchild,” spits Riley. “He could have torn the ligaments in Carnage’s knee with a move like that!” Suddenly panicked, Carnage begins to wail furiously as the Human Hurricane leaps back onto the apron and immediately ascends to the top turnbuckle, leaping into the ring… BAM! … And drilling Carnage between the eyes with a flying fistdrop! “Wildchild scores with a flying fistdrop right between the eyes!” shouts Comet. “Matthew Kivell should disqualify him,” roars Bobby, as Wildchild springs to his feet. “Carnage’s leg is tied in the ropes; you can’t hit a man while he’s in the ropes!” BAM! Quicker than Cross can respond, Wildchild rushes back towards his opponent’s corner and smashes David in the face with a running forearm shot! “What a cheap shot,” bellows Riley. “How can you cheer for guy who’s as dirty as Wildchild is?” “Well don’t you think that Wildchild is entitled to a little get-back after what Cross did to him earlier from outside the ring,” answers Comet. Wildchild runs towards his corner and makes the tag to the Barracuda. Johnny climbs onto the turnbuckle as the Caribbean Cruiser streaks across the ring, leaping high into the air to land on the top rope, and flipping backwards into the ring… SPLASH! … To crash into Carnage’s exposed body with a picture-perfect springboard moonsault! Kivell struggles to free Carnage’s leg, and Wildchild quickly rolls to his feet, racing towards the opposing ropes, and stopping to nail David Cross with another forearm as Johnny leaps from the top turnbuckle… WHAM! … Blasting Carnage in the face with a flying elbowdrop! Kivell finally frees Carnage’s leg, and looks up in time to catch David Cross, who was seeking revenge on Wildchild for his earlier cheap shots, charging into the ring. Kivell chases Cross back out of the ring, and Wild and Dangerous take advantage of his distraction to pull Carnage up off of the canvas, trapping him in a double front-facelock as they each grab a leg and hoist him overhead… WHAM! … Slamming him back down onto the canvas with a double suplex! “This is an atrocity!” fumes Riley, as Wild and Dangerous quickly get back to their feet. Wildchild runs towards the edge of the ring, leaping into the air towards his partner as he bounces off the ropes. Johnny catches Wildchild and launches him vertically into the air… SPLASH! … Watching as the Bahama Bomber crashes into Carnage’s chest with a flying splash! The fans cheer loudly as Wildchild rolls out to the ring apron, and Johnny drops to his knees to apply a lateral press as Kivell turns his attention back towards the ring: ONE! TWO! THR— KICKOUT! “Vintage double-teaming by Wild and Dangerous,” says Comet, “and they just barely avoid getting the pinfall on Carnage. “Kivell should not even have counted that,” roars Bobby. “That pinfall was the direct result of illegal double-teaming; the ref should NOT have counted that!” Johnny gets to his feet and leans towards his corner to make the tag to Wildchild, and then pulls Carnage to his feet as the Tropical Tumbler ascends to the top rope. Johnny pushes Carnage forward as Wildchild leaps from the top… WHAM! … Forcing Carnage to stumble uncontrollably into a vertical somersault splash by the Wildchild! “What you just saw there was an example of why Wild and Dangerous is truly one of the elite tag teams in SWF history,” says Comet, as Wildchild flips over into a cover. “Instead of holding Carnage in place, Johnny shoves him forward to get him off-balance, reducing his reaction time and leaving him exposed to an attack by Wildchild; it’s the little things that separate teams like Wild and Dangerous for the rest of the tag teams in the SWF!” Kivell dives into position to count the shoulders: ONE! TWO! THR— … But Carnage is able to force himself out of the pin attempt! Wildchild gets back to his feet and quickly leaps off of the mat… WHAM! … Extending his leg before crashing down on Carnage with a leg drop! The Tropical Tumbler gets back up immediately, pulling Carnage to his feet and backing him up against the ropes. Wildchild reaches out to make the tag to Johnny before grabbing Carnage by the wrist and whipping him across the ring, but the massive madman reverses easily. Wildchild slams into the ropes, but grabs onto the top rope to keep from rebounding back towards Carnage. “Carnage, look out behind you,” shrieks Riley. Carnage, unaware that Johnny had legally tagged in, charges towards Wildchild, only for the Human Hurricane to avoid his advance with a deft leapfrog. Wildchild then drops down and flattens himself against the canvas as the rebounding Carnage runs over the top of him… WHAM! … Only for him to be scooped up into a powerslam by the Barracuda! Johnny cranks the leg back hard in a pinfall attempt as Kivell drops down to count: ONE! TWO! THREE— NO! “Two count only,” shouts Comet. “David Cross makes the save!” “Cross had to make the save,” agrees Riley. “After all the illegal double-teaming at the hands of Wild and Dangerous, Carnage was ripe for the picking there!” Wildchild runs over to Cross to confront him, forcing Kivell to try and separate them. Meanwhile, Johnny looks out into the crowd and gives the sign for his patented Armed and Dangerous fistdrop, evoking a raucous cheer from the crowd! “Johnny’s going for the Armed and Dangerous!” cries Comet. “Well, if he hits it,” concedes Riley, “It’ll be tough luck for Carnage.” Johnny races towards the edge of the ring, bouncing off the ropes… WHACK! … And slamming face-first into the canvas as Frisco dashes around the ring and hooks the Barracuda by the ankle, tripping him! “Frisco hooking the leg,” shouts Comet. Johnny immediately bounces back to his feet and leans out of the ring, grabbing Frisco by the collar… WHAM! … Leaving him exposed to a desperation knee to the back by Carnage! Before Johnny can recover, Carnage wraps both his arms around the Barracuda’s waist and pops his hips, snatching him off the mat… WHAM! … And driving Johnny headfirst into the canvas with a German suplex! Johnny lies motionless as Carnage rolls onto his stomach, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs. “That German suplex turned the tide,” shouts Comet, as Wildchild is forced to return to his corner. “If Carnage can make the tag, Wild and Dangerous is going to be in big trouble!” “Give Frisco credit,” says Riley. “It was his quick thinking that reversed the momentum of this match!” Carnage crawls towards his corner and feebly reaches up to his partner, making the tag. “Here comes David Cross,” crows Riley. “And now Johnny’s in a world of hurt!” Cross pulls Johnny to his feet, wrapping his large hand around the Barracuda’s throat and snatching him abruptly off of the canvas… WHAM! … Slamming him back down to the canvas with a vicious chokeslam! Cross drops to his knees and applies a lateral press as Kivell delivers the count: ONE! TWO! THR— KICKOUT! “Boy, was that close,” says Comet. “Johnny got out of that pinfall, but he’s got deal with the fresh man in David Cross!” Cross pulls Johnny to his feet, keeping him in a bent position as he wraps his arms around his waist, before hauling him off of the canvas… WHAM! … And planting him with a gutwrench suplex! Cross rolls over into a pinning combination as Kivell drops down to count: ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! “Wildchild makes the save,” exclaims Comet. Kivell orders Wildchild to return to the corner, and Cross takes advantage of the referee’s distraction to drag Johnny back into his corner, and then gets Kivell’s attention again as Carnage wraps the tag rope around the Barracuda’s throat on orders from Frisco, using it to choke him out! “I’m surprised to see Citizen Cross contributing to this sort of underhanded activity,” exclaims Comet. “I don’t believe that I’ve ever seen him behaving this aggressively!” “Well, obviously Cross wants to get back into the Tag Team Title picture,” replies Bobby, “and he’s willing to accepts Frisco’s guidance, even if that means being party to behavior that he doesn’t necessarily condone.” “Such a shame,” says Comet, as Carnage releases his chokehold, just as the referee turns back around. “I would have thought that David had more character than that!” “Well, once a lot of people get that first taste of gold, they’re willing to do just about anything to get it back,” counters Riley. “If that’s what David Cross has decided, you can hardly hold it against him.” Cross leans towards his corner to make the tag to Carnage, and then holds Johnny in place for Carnage to deliver a stiff kick to the Barracuda’s ribs! Johnny clutches his ribs in pain, and the madman lifts him over his head in a military press, holding him overhead for a few seconds before letting him fall to the mat! Carnage rolls him over to his back and applies a cover, as the referee dives into position to count: ONE! TWO! THRE— NO! “Wildchild in again to make the save,” shouts Comet, as the Bahama Bomber runs in to kick Carnage in the back of his head. As Kivell orders Wildchild to return to the apron, Carnage picks Johnny up and forces him back into his corner, motioning for Cross to join him. David hesitates at first, but Frisco barks at him to enter the ring, and he reluctantly acquiesces. “Look at that,” remarks Bobby, as David joins Carnage in stomping away at Johnny in the corner. “I told you, Comet, it’s all about that gold. Cross doesn’t want to resort to double-teaming Johnny behind the referee’s back, but he obviously wants that gold again badly, and he’s willing to do what Frisco tells him to do, if he thinks that it’ll get him back into the title hunt!” WHAM! WHAM! “HEY! HEY!” shouts Kivell, racing towards the other side of the ring to break up this vicious double team. Cross innocently puts his hands up as he backs up into the corner and steps out onto the ring apron, leaving his partner to tend to the Barracuda on his own for now. Carnage grabs a handful of Johnny’s hair to pull him up to his feet while rearing back with his mighty fist to knock the Secret Agent’s lights out for good, but as he swings forward Johnny quickly puts up a forearm block and fires back with a stiff right hand to Carnage’s cheek! SMACK! The quick strike stuns Carnage just long enough for Johnny to draw his fist back and thrust his open palm into his opponent’s face, right between the eyes, with a Shotei Palmstrike! TH-WAACK! “And Agent Dangerous is fighting back for control!” shouts Comet, as the crowd roars in delight. “It’s going to take a lot more than that to keep this team down!” As Carnage staggers back and forth, momentarily stunned from the Shotei, Johnny begins to slowly inch his way towards his corner where Wildchild eagerly awaits with an outstretched hand. Finally, Johnny leaps forward towards his partner’s hand, tagging it just as Carnage comes storming back across the ring, steaming mad over Johnny’s last offensive measure. He doesn’t even seem to notice the tag, or Wildchild quickly springing to the top rope and springing off over the Barracuda, “-and here comes the Wildchild!” exclaims Comet, just before Wildchild plants both feet into Carnage’s skull! WHACK! “Son of a bitch!” curses Riley. “I don’t even think Carnage saw Wildchild tagging in on that—he was caught by total surprise!” “I guess that’s why they call it a surprise move then, eh Robert?” Carnage quickly pushes himself off the mat, trying to gather his bearings before getting a second dose of the Bomber’s sneaky attacks, but Wildchild’s attention is placed on the man waiting in Carnage’s corner—David Cross—and he wheelbarrows around, popping Cross in the jaw with a right hand! SMACK! “Some retribution for the double-teaming on Agent Dangerous,” notes Comet, as Cross nearly falls off the apron from the hit. “He caught Citizen Cross daydreaming over there!” “Daydreaming?” scoffs Bobby. “Maybe he just thought Wild and Dangerous had a little more sportsmanship in them than to illegally attack the corner man!” “You mean like the good sportsmanship displayed by cross and Carnage just a few minutes ago?” Nonetheless, Cross isn’t about to get sucker punched without offering some reply and he storms into the ring only to be aptly cut off by Kivell, giving Wild and Dangerous just the distraction they had hoped for! They each grab an arm of Carnage and pull him up to his feet then whip him across the ring, hitting him with a double drop kick on the return! “How long is Kivell going to let both of them stay in the ring at the same time?” cries Riley, but his announcing partner just shrugs. Cross finally storms past Kivell, pushing him aside to go after Wildchild and Dangerous and he catches them as they pop back up to their feet with a double armed clothesline… WHOOSH~! …But Cross misses just narrowly, with Wild and Dangerous both ducking at just the right time! David spins back around… only to become the victim himself— CRACK! … A double Chicklet Buster to his chin sends the big man flying across the ring and out of it as he trips through the middle rope, and finally comes crashing down on the outside floor! “And a big hit on Citizen Cross!” shouts the masked announcer, unaware that an even bigger hit is about to take place! Johnny glides to the edge of the ring and hurdles over the top rope to come crashing down on top of his opponent with a body splash! “OOOOH!” The crowd winces at the impact, as does Wildchild. The Bahama Bomber turns his attention back towards Carnage as he gets back on to his feet and charges straight for him. It’s times like this that Wildchild’s speed comes extremely handy, and he shows it by ducking under yet another clothesline attempt and speeding across the ring for the far ropes. He springs back towards Carnage, and leaps up— — But Carnage catches him in midair with a bear hug, clamping down on the Bahaman as tight as he can to subdue his struggling opponent! He can sense the desperate attempt in the Wildchild’s eyes to squirm free, but it’s time to end this one finally, and he storms across the ring and rams his opponent into the corner post with a bone crunching thud! CRACK! “OOOH!” Comet winces at the impact, as do most in attendance. “Carnage isn’t just out here to win, he wants to inflict some serious damage on Citizen Child!” “I can’t say I blame him after the way Wild and Dangerous has tried to cheat him out of a victory this entire match!” Wildchild staggers a few steps forward after being released by his opponent, gripping tightly to his back and grimacing in pain. He isn’t able to put up much of a fight as Carnage swoops back in and scoops him over his shoulder. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The crowd fires off a volley of jeers—sensing a Tombstone coming up from Carnage, but he knows that he has the Wildchild exactly where he wants him and he smiles devilishly as he positions the Bahama Bomber-–squirming every inch of the way--against his chest for a Tombstone pile driver. He smiles at the crowd and turns to face and to plant Wildchild’s skull directly in the center of the ring… KA-RAAAAACK~! “And he turns right into a positively tooth-rattling Johnny Kick!” exclaims Comet alongside the rejoicing audience, as Carnage is knocked flat on his back with Wildchild falling down on top of him. “I think he forgot that Agent Dangerous was even involved in this one!” “GET OUT,” the referee barks at Johnny, ordering the illegal man out of the ring. Dangerous minds the referee’s orders this time and moves out of the way as Kivell drops to count: ONE! Cross becomes aware of the count, and dives into the ring to stop it… TWO! … But he’s a fraction too late! THREE! DING! DING! DING! “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” “The winner of this match by pin fall,” booms Funyon, excitedly leaping from his seat as ‘Fuel My Fire’ pounds from the speakers. “WIIIIIIIIIIILD!! AAAAAAAAAAAAND DANGEROUS!!!” The referee grabs both men by an arm each and raises them victoriously to an overwhelming cheer from the Denver fans! “Wild and Dangerous are making their intentions loud and clear here tonight,” says Comet. “They want those tag team titles currently held by Revolution Zero, but one could begin to wonder if Revolution Zero is even listening!” “I wouldn’t count on it, Comet, they have much better things to spend their time thinking about,” Riley says. “You know, like Toxxic successfully defending the World Championship at Slay Ride unlike Johnny Dangerous here did at Genesis.” “Touché, Touché…” As we: FADE OUT
  2. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Lockdown, 12-15-04!

    Fade in. YEEEEEEEEEAHH!! “The fans in the Pepsi Center are loud and rowdy as we get underway!” greets Riley. His partner Comet chimes in, “They’re cheering for the team of Austin Sly, Ghost, and Manson … well, Sly and Ghost anyway … who are already in the ring for this nondescript six man tag match!” The three wrestlers stand in one corner, talking amongst themselves, most likely deciding who will begin the match for their team. Ghost and Sly, both deciding that they are better of in rest than in the match, exit the ring and leave Manson. He shakes his head and gestures at them before pacing to the middle of the ring. Funyon steps out of Manson’s way before announcing, “And their opponents … first, from—“ BOOOOOOOOOOOO!! “Now hold on just a moment!” screams Kelly from the ramp. The crowd boos at the bombshell as she raises a mic to her lips. “Taking over my job is something that will get you fired when I’m in charge!” Kelly pauses a moment to let the crowd die down … “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the anchor of this team, the best of the best, the superstar of superstars … the Superior Talent … MAAAAAX KIIIIIIIING!!” BOOOOOOOOOOOO!! “Superstar” by Saliva kicks up and Max King enters. He heads down the ramp, joined by Kelly, and then slides into the ring. Manson backs off a bit and allows King his space, though he keeps an eye on the superstar. The lights in the arena brighten to full illuminosity, illiciting another wave of loud booing from the crowd. They drown out the scratching of needle on vinyl. WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Immediately the crashing guitars of 'Battle Ready' by Otep come in and lightning apparently strikes down from the heavens, hitting the stage and causing gold and red pyro blasts to erupt up. The Smarktron shows half-second clips of it's members' matches as Sean Davis and Sacred make their way down the ramp in their own style. Between the clips the Smarktron goes white again and the words 'Revolution' and 'Zero' alternate. Marcus Washington trails the pair of Rev0 members, holding both of Sean’s belts. Funyon takes his job back, announcing the wrestlers for the crowd. “And his partners, weighing in at a combined four hundred and ninety-one pounds … he is one half of the SWF Tag Team Champions and the SWF Hardcore Gamers Champion … the Perfect Storm … SEEEANNN DAAAVIS and SAAAAACRED …. REEEEVOLUUUUTION ZEEEROO!!!” Sacred and Davis enter the ring, Sacred by sliding under the bottom rope and Davis by the stairs. King glances over his shoulder at the two and rolls his eyes, heading to their corner. The two Revolution Zero members pose for the crowd, despite their booing. Upon urging from the referee, they head to their corner to converse with King and decide who starts the match. DING! DING! DING!! “And we’re underway!” exclaims Riley. But as nothing happens, he adds, “Maybe not … “ "There seems to be some argument at ringside now," Comet notes as the camera shows the team of Davis, Sacred, and King. "Apparently Davis, Sacred, and King can't decide on who will start things for their team..." Riley chuckles. "Well, that is the ONE bad thing about these guys, they're all such great competitors that it's hard to pick just one to start off this bout!" King, Davis, and Sacred continue to argue with each other, but that all stops when Manson suddenly rushes over to the other side of the ring and PULLS King in by his hair, deciding for them that King will start the match! "What a poor sport Manson is!" Riley calls. "What did King do to deserve that?" "Apparently Citizen Manson is still upset about the fact that Max King defeated him in the Holy Hell match at our last show...and now Manson slugging away at the face of "The Icon!" Manson continues to pound away at the face of King while "The Icon" is still caught off guard, making sure to target him right into the bridge of the nose, as it possibly still hasn't recovered from the damage that it took in the Holy Hell match from Storm. King tries to roll away from Manson, but the former USJL Champion grabs King by the hair, pulling him up to his feet and tossing him roughly into the corner. Manson rushes in to blast King with a running knee-shot to the face, but King manages to get a leg up, catching Manson in the face. King rushes in to nail Manson with a clothesline...but Manson manages to predict it coming, catching King as he rushes in and taking him down to the mat with a hard arm-drag. King, not wanting any further damage done to him this early on in the match, rolls to the corner quickly and tags in Sean Davis. Manson tries to attack Davis before he gets into the ring, knowing that the dynamic of the match is quickly about to change with Davis' power. However, Davis grabs Manson right by the throat and shoves him ROUGHLY away from him, getting into the ring completely now just as King is sliding out under the bottom rope to talk to Kelly on the outside of the ring. "Well, that certainly changed the odds of the match around, didn't it Comet?" Riley notes. "Yes, I have to admit it did...Sean Davis getting into the ring and just shoving Manson away like he was a child...using that sheer power of his to do so." Davis stalks Manson somewhat, grabbing him by the throat and attempting to lift him back up to his feet, but Manson manages to catch Davis in the gut with a hard knee shot, and quickly goes to his corner and makes the tag out, tagging in Austin Sly now as he steps out. Sly rushes in and elbows Davis right into the face as hard as he can, knocking the big guy back a bit into his corner, but as he rushes in to try to further the attack, Davis moves out of the way, making sure to use his hand to slam the head of Sly face first into the turnbuckle. Davis makes sure to stomp down on Sly a bit, before reaching over and tagging in Sacred. "And here's the man who SHOULD be challenging for the World Title, if you ask me!" Riley states as Sacred gets into the ring, dropping a leg right across the chest of Austin Sly while he's down in the ring. Davis steps out of the ring, but not before stomping right into the face of Sly one more time for added effect. Sacred gets Sly back up to his feet, tossing him into the ropes to attempt to hit him with something big, but Sly uses the ropes to springboard, catching Sacred by surprise with a Springboard Elbow shot right in the mush. Sacred gets up rather quickly after that, but is only greeted with a running neckbreaker by Sly. Sly goes for the first cover of the match! One! Easy kick-out by Sacred. "What is Austin Sly thinking about out there?" Riley asks. "No way you're going to keep Sacred down with something like that." "Sly wanting a quick win, and that was a good attempt at one, if you ask me." Comet notes. "You're a big proponent of 'get a win any way you can', aren't you?" "Only with people that I LIKE, though." Riley reminds. Sly quickly twists up the arm of Sacred again, and reaches over to his corner, about to tag Ghost in, however Manson pushes Ghost out of the way and gets the tag himself. The crowd ooohs a bit at that, seeing that there may be some problems in the ranks of that team as well. Manson comes in and kicks Sacred HARD into the ribs, a sickening smacking sound heard throughout the arena from that kick. Manson grabs the arm of Sacred, hooking it up in a tight armbar now, and starts chopping repeatedly into the neck of the former champ, softening up that region of the body as best he can. Sacred only takes so much of this, and on about the 5th chop, starts moving again, grabbing the arm of Manson and twisting it around into an arm bar of his own, twisting so fast that he manages to get Manson down onto the canvas now! "Well, Sacred using his skills to show up Manson here, though for a while it seemed the former USJL Champion was in control there, Riley." Comet states. "Yeah, but it was only for a moment." Riley adds. "I'm going with Sacred, King, and Davis...they got more people that I like on that team. Plus two managers that I like as well." Sacred reaches back for the tag, getting Max King back into the match once again while Manson is down. King measures up the man that he beat last show, and drives a knee HARD into the solo plexus of Manson. King smiles, stepping over to the other side of the ring, slapping Ghost and Sly both, causing them to get into the ring to protest. The referee, however, is right there to stop it...which is just what King was hoping for, as Sacred and Davis BOTH step into the ring, starting to pound away with a triple team attack on Manson. "Now wait just a minute!" Comet calls. "This isn't right, this is a mugging on Manson by these three men!" "I can't see what's going on, my monitor is on the fritz..." Riley says, claiming innocence. "LOOK UP TO THE RING, BY ZEUS!" Comet shouts back to Riley. The referee turns around, Sacred and Davis having stepped out before that, leaving King in there holding Manson by his hair, and reaching over to make the tag back to Davis. Davis grabs one of Manson's arms, and while holding it into position, starts kicking it as hard as he can. Outside of the ring, Marcus Washington starts applauding the effort by Davis...but at the same time, Kelly...apparently bored with the way that the match is going...is on a cell phone! Davis slams the elbow of Manson HARD into the canvas, causing an almost primal yell to come from Manson, and reaches back to tag King back into the match... ...but is surprised to find "The Icon" on the arena floor now, talking to Kelly. "...um, what is going on, Riley? And I'm asking you because you seem to want to know everything about Max King..." Comet notes. "I think something is going on with one of King and Kelly's business deals, and Kelly is informing King about it." Riley states. "In the middle of a match!?" Comet questions. "Hey, this team is in complete control right now, why not?" Riley retorts. However, almost immediately after Riley's last statement, Manson sneaks up from behind Davis, who is looking outside of the ring, and pulls him over with a surprise roll-up, attempting to get the win! ONE! TW...kickout by Davis, who stomps onto Manson before sliding out of the ring to confront Kelly and King. Sacred isn't too far behind, as all three members of the team are outside of the ring now. "This could be dangerous, Riley...if Davis doesn't get back into the ring, he may be counted out for his team." "Come on Comet, when is the last time a count-out happened in wrestling, hmm?" Riley questions. Sacred, Davis, and Washington all try to get King's attention, but King is seemingly ignoring them...focusing only on Kelly (but not in the usual sense). After a few seconds, King goes wide eyed, and starts running to the back, Kelly closely behind...to the surprise and anger of both his teammates. "...Max King just walked out on his partners! What in the name of all things Super is going on here?" "I couldn't begin to guess, Comet. But what does it matter, not like the other team can do anything to stop Davis and Sacred!" Riley replies. Three! The referee just continues counting out Sean Davis, who realizes this, nudges Sacred and the two Rev0 members slide back into the ring. They double team Manson, who is able to fend off Sacred, but is floored by a Davis clothesline. Sacred recovers and charges the opposing corner, landing an elbow onto Ghost’s mask and sending him to the floor! Sly reaches out to retaliate, but Sacred grabs him by the head, dropping down and guillotining him on the rope! Sean drops to his back as Manson begins to stand, reaches under and slams him back down with a hard Schoolboy buster! Davis stands all the way back up, grabbing pants and pressing all his weight over Manson as the ref goes down for the count. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING!! DING!! “It seems both Austin Sly and Ghost were also so appalled by King leaving his partner that they forgot the match was on! Revolution Zero capitalizes with a double team and the big school boy by Sean Davis!” shouts Riley! Fade out.
  3. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Lockdown, 12-15-04!

    We return to Lockdown, where Ben Hardy stands with Manson backstage. "Good evening, I'm Ben Hardy, and I'm here with Manson… First of all, I have to ask you, you viciously attacked Kibag--" he says, only to be cut off by Manson. "Don't say that name around me, Hardy… Needless to say, though, things between us remain unsettled. Of course, they wouldn't have been if the match at Ashes to Ashes went ahead as planned… but the corporate bosses got worried about protecting their investment in Kibagami, regardless of everyone's personal stake. This is just another example of them trying to screw me!" Manson screams. "Okay. Moving on, remind us why did you do it in the first place?" asks Hardy. "Because he stuck his nose in where it didn't belong, in my match versus Toxxic, my chance to make a name for myself… I had Toxxic… FUCKING HAD HIM!" he shouts. "That is, until Kibagami decided to BUTT in, for his own selfish, egotistical reasons…" "Many don’t see it that way, but fair enough. However, it doesn't look like Kib--" begins Hardy, only to be cut off again. "Ben, we've spent enough time on the coward" says Manson, in a stern, calm voice, before peering a hole through Hardy. "W-Well, how about the match tonight?" asks Hardy. "I have nothing to prove to Revolution Zero and Max King. I lost to Sacred. He got the better of me, which I'm not ashamed to admit. I was there with him until the end, so I'll just have to get stronger, better… "As for King, he eliminated me from the CFC Battle Royale, but he was only in the right place at the right time. Then he beat me against all odds in the Holy Hell Match. I didn't see that coming. You saw what I did to him a few months back, all ending with me being the one to walk out with the US Title, so it's surprising that he actualy developed some balls during our time apart. No matter what happens from this time forward, I'll always be better, and Max just hates that." "And from what I understand, you're not exactly happy about the choice in partners…" responds Hardy. "I'd just rather not have anything to do with them. I just don't get why I'm involved in this match. As far as I'm concerned, anything between myself and Revolution Zero or Max King is old news. Outside of knocking Max around a bit, which is always fun, I have no interest in carrying Austin or Ghost to victory or helping them carry out their vendettas. They just better not get in my way…" says Manson, as he walks off.
  4. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Lockdown, 12-15-04!

    "You sit alone in lightless chambers, all the love you had is gone No one there to catch your fall, you never felt so alone Blackened thoughts in lonely ruins, lifeless eyes an empty gaze Death is but a promise now, life is just an empty phrase!" The opening lines of Grave Digger's "Demon's Day" blare in the PA system. The massive form of Dominic Korgath emerges from behind the curtain, wearing his customary mask. On this cold December night in Denver, Dominic opts for his dark red tights. The mammoth, perhaps the largest wrestler to come out of Asia since The Giant Baba, as Yokozuna was probably from Houston, Texas, which would explain why he was so fat. The big man raises his large right hand into the air and makes a fist, showing off his defiant behavior to the crowd. The Denver faithful greets him with hardy boos. He then proceeds to rumble down the ramp. Funyon: The following is a singles match and is scheduled for one fall! From Nagasaki, Japan, weighing in at 350 pounds, DOMINNNNIIICCCC KOOOORRRRGGGGAAAATHHHHH! Comet: Well, fair citizens, we have approached our first contest of the night, as the ginormous Korgath is ready to take on the returning Munich. Riley: Ginormous isn’t a word you fool! Korgath waits in the ring, waiting for the man who thinks he can topple him. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!” “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!” “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!” “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!” The crowd pops like rabid monkeys as “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones starts rolling through the arena. Soon enough, Munich storms out from behind the curtains. He doesn’t have his cigarettes with him tonight, as the t-shirt he is wearing does not have a pocket for them. Tonight he wears a Pantera shirt instead, perhaps honoring the death of Dimebag Darrell, or maybe it’s just laundry day…or some of his luggage was lost flying into the show. Never the less, Munich takes the shirt off, and instead of throwing it to the ramp like normal, folds it nicely and places it on the ramp. A scowl develops on his face as he folds the shirt. Munich then takes his quick walk to the ring, causing Funyon to time the introduction very carefully, to make everything flow together. Funyon: And his opponent, returning for the ten or so time, from Dallas, Texas, and weighing in at 260 pounds, MUUUNICCHH!! Comet: It has been a long time since the wrestling public has witnessed citizen Munich in action. Any word on why he was gone for so long? Riley: Rumor has it that he decided to make a log cabin in the wilderness of Southern Illinois and study Transcendentalism. He found it boring whilst smoking too many cigarettes and drinking too much vodka. So now he’s back after swearing off any recollection of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Comet: Amazing! Munich slides into the ring. Once he reaches his feet, he stares into the frightening mask of Korgath. He does a few stretching exercises, shakes out his right leg a bit, then needs to Senior Referee Kivell that he’s ready. Matt checks both men for weapons, then signals for the match to start. *DINGDINGDING!!!* Korgath screams out with a rebel yell at the sound of the bell. He charges at Munich, who, waiting for him, drops down and sneaks in a drop toe hold, taking the big man down to the mat. Quickly, Munich jumps next to Korgath and throws on an elementary side headlock! Comet: Citizen Munich controlling this match in the very early going. Riley: He’s a veteran, Korgath is not. He better, dammit! The powerful Korgath soon realizes that he is powerful and rises up from the mat with Munich. Soon, Munich loses his leverage. Dominic winds back and tries to deliver a back elbow to Munich ribcage, but Munich also sees that coming. The Texan spins around, grabs Korgath’s arm that was attempting the elbow strike, the left one. The former JL Champ quickly locks on a hammerlock, trying to take away the source of Korgath’s power. Dominic strains and groans, until finally using his brain and walking into a nearby corner, forcing Kivell to step in and make Munich break the hold. Munich complies quickly, but rather than let the much stronger Korgath out of the corner, he keeps the pressure on. The smaller man winds up and delivers a solid left hook to Dominic’s ribcage, taking the wind out of the best. Korgath reels, the air sucked out of his lungs. Quickly, Munich goes to work. Dominic’s right leg is suddenly taken advantage of, as his foe starts to deliver quick stomps to the knee joint. Kivell gives Munich a five count, and Munich continues to chip away at the muscular armor of Dominic. Finally, Munich breaks at four, after delivering nearly eight blows to the knee of Korgath. Comet: I would have expected citizen Munich to have a major bout of ring rust coming back after another long lay off. Riley: There are two reasons why we do not see ring rust from Munich. He still has many more years of experience in a large promotion, and most importantly; Munich is scared. Well, he isn’t scared, but he is being cautious and strategic. He knows he can’t overpower this man by any stretch of the imagination, so he trying to take the power away from this young man, and doing a good job of it thus far. Plus, he has bled for this business many times over. Comet: Exemplary incite, Citizen Riley! Riley: Thank you. As Riley rants about Munich’s strategy in the match, Dominic recovers in the corner. Meanwhile, Munich stands in the center of the ring, waiting. Dominic joins Munich in the center of the ring after complaining to the referee through his mask. Finally, Dominic looks to calm down somewhat and engages in a simple lock up with Munich. The smaller man pushes the larger man back for just a moment. Then Dominic decides to try and starts to walk Munich into a nearby corner next to the announcer’s table. As he gets to the corner, Dominic grows tired of being attached to Munich, and delivers a solid knee to the Texan’s midsection, giving Munich a taste of his own medicine. Releasing Korgath, Munich falls into the corner, clutching his ribs. With his opponents’ hands down, the mammoth comes across with a right hand, nearly splitting Munich’s skull in two. The force is so much that Munich falls to the seat of his pants. Dominic, with a sudden surge of aggression, starts to start away at the chest and face of his opponent. Kivell steps in and breaks up the onslaught with the dread five count. Korgath lays off, and then proceeds to pick Munich up out of the corner. Korgath quickly puts his arms around Munich’s waist, hoists him up into the air, and then drives him back towards the center of the ring with a side belly to belly suplex. Korgath stays on top and puts on a lateral press, attempting a pinfall. ONE!! TWO!! T-NO!! Munich uses his legs to kick out. Korgath looks at the referee, and pleads to him with three fingers. Comet: A show of brute force by Citizen Korgath! Riley: This is exactly the situation that Munich wanted to stay away from. It would have been much better for him had he delayed this beating for a few minutes. Back in the ring, Munich starts to gain his footing quickly, using the ropes for support. Korgath, back in the attack, lets Munich know he is there with a quick jabbing kick to the ribs. Dominic quickly picks Munich up, and fires him across the ring with an Irish whip. Munich repels off the far ropes and comes back at Korgath. Dominic waits, and rises his right leg just a bit early for the big boot. Munich quickly ducks under it and repels off the next set of ropes. Korgath stands in the center of the ring, recovered, and doubles over, waiting for Munich. This is just what the smaller man was waiting for, and he runs right into a back body drop from Dominic. Munich soars high into the air, but comes down on his feet! Korgath brushes his hands off on his tights, signaling that he did a job, and well done to boot. Munich bounces off the ropes once more, and with the speed of a fired bullet comes back at Korgath. The smaller man extends his right arm, and collides with a running clothesline to the back of Dominic’s head. The Guilty Pleasure connects perfectly, and it floors the big man to the canvas and then out of the ring! The crowd pops as Munich shakes out his now aching right arm. After regrouping, Munich follows Korgath outside. Kivell starts his count. ONE! Comet: What a magnificent clothesline from the Texan! Riley: Stan Hansen would be proud! TWO! Munich is outside on the floor and picks up the nearly unconscious Dominic. The smaller man balls up his left hand and strikes Korgath in the forehead, knocking the mammoth back. The Asian trips over his own feet and falls to the ground. THREE! Munich continues on the attack, stalking after Dominic. Korgath is picked up cleanly, and quickly put in a facelock. Munich, using all the strength in his body, grabs a hold of Dominic’s dark red tights and brings him over with a suplex. Korgath lands hard on the outside, and immediately arachs his back and groans with discomfort. FOUR! Munich, after catching his breath once more, hops back over to the big man and drags him back to his feet. Munich corrals him and backs him up against the ring apron, where he delivers a couple of harsh elbows to Dominic’s masked visage. FIVE! Korgath is finally willed into the ring by his opponent. Kivell stops his count right before he reaches six, as Munich rolls into the ring after his foe. Munich throws on a quick pin, trying to capitalize on the damage done outside. The referee checks Dominic’s position next to the ropes before making the count. ONE! TWO!! TH-NO!!! Dominic is able to easily power out of the pin. Riley: I do not mean to use a cliché, but Munich is going to have to a lot more to put Korgath away. Comet: Nicely put, Citizen Riley! The big Asian climbs back to his feet, with assistance from the attacking Munich. Dominic, however, is the one of the attack. He delivers a stiff elbow to Munich’s midsection, knocking the smaller man back. Munich, after clutching his ribs from a moment, charges Korgath, trying to knock him into the corner. Dominic, however, sees him coming, and takes a smaller vertical base. Munich comes crashing in, but is lifted high into the air, and floats into the corner himself. The Texan comes crashing down, slamming his head into the top turnbuckle, wrenching his neck and jarring his brain to and froe. Korgath, meanwhile, retreats in the center of the ring, still clutching his back from the suplex on the outside. The big man looks back towards Munich in the corner. He crouches then franticly waves his right hand at Munich, calling him back to the center of the ring. Dazed, the smaller man waltzes towards the center of the ring. Dominic wait and measure. Finally, with the fury of ten thousand rising suns, Korgath explodes at Munich, and blitzes him with the dreaded Yakuza Kick. The crowd gasps as the blow spins Munich in a full three-hundred and sixty degrees! The victim falls flat on his face, unconscious. Korgath looks down at Munich, intensity set deep in his framed eyes. He then looks up into the stands, and once again raises a muscular arm in defiance. Boos rain down from the fans in Denver! Comet: Great Gargantuan Space Ghost!! Riley: Munich’s brain is halfway to Littleton by now, Comet! Now if Korgath wouldn’t celebrate over one move, he could win this match! After soaking in the jeers from the crowd, Korgath looks over at Munich, down the center of the ring, and not moving all the much. Quickly, Dominic rushes over, and spins Munich onto his back. The Asian puts on a sloppy lateral press, quite confident the win is his. Kivell swings around into position. ONE! TWO!! THRE-NO!!! Comet: And fair Citizen Munich gets the shoulder up after a delay and lackluster cover from Dominic! Riley: That wasn’t so much Munich surviving as it was Korgath causing himself an impressive win, now he just gave Munich hope, if the guy can even think right now! The jeers of the crowd making Dominic even more dangerous and irritable, the big man hauls Munich off the mat and picks him up like he were a bag of potatoes. He walks around the ring with Munich, terrorizing both his opponent and the jam packed Pepsi Arena. Finally, Dominic falls to his back and throws Munich behind him as he falls. Munich is splattered to the mat with a fallaway slam that shakes the foundation! The force and speed of the move is so great that Munich rolls against the ropes, one arm dangling out of the ring towards the entrance way. Korgath rumbles over and picks him his smaller opponent, and drop him in the center. Dominic goes for another pin. ONE! TWO!! THRE-NO!!! Comet: And…no! Munich is able to break out of the pin! Riley: And look at him! He’s starting to bleed! The Texan is indeed bleeding. He is not bleeding much. The cut on his forehead was no doubt caused by Korgath’s devastating Yakuza Kick. Now very pissed off, Korgath races to his feet, and signals for the torture rack, dancing around the ring with arms thrusting up and down. Munich, meanwhile, in a bloody daze, climbs up to his feet, out of instinct more than thought. Dazed, he moves to the center of the ring, and Dominic joins him. The big brute captures Munich, and deftly props him up onto his shoulders. Soon, Korgath walking around the ring, leaping up and down, looking to break Munich’s back, one vertebra at a time. Kivell follows Korgath around the ring, looking for Munich to tap at so this carnage. But, Munich starts to wiggle free from the move. The Texan counters! The smaller man spins free, puts his arm around Korgath’s large mask covered head, and falls, dropping Dominic with a DDT!! The crowd goes into a frenzy, seeing the six hundred pounds of humanity tumble to the canvas! Now, both men are down, and Kivell has no choice but to make a ten count for both men. Comet: What a counter by Munich, taking the big man down! Riley: Yes, but can Munich recover in time and take advantage of this hungry young competitor! ONE! TWO! THREE! The crowd chants along with Kivell. Finally, after the count of three, both mean start to show signs of life. FOUR! FIVE! Both men are one their hands and knees, Munich seems to be a bit more alert than Korgath. The smaller man’s aching back stops him from rising completely to his feet, while Korgath looks to be in another world. SIX! SEVEN! Munich finally gets to his feet, Korgath right behind him. Still clutching his back, Munich takes one more look back at his foe and takes off for the far ropes. Munich limps off of the ropes, and comes back at Dominic, who has just got to his feet. Munich leaps high into the air, maybe looking for a clothesline, but Korgath catches him in his tree branch like arms. Not a normal bearhug is locked in, but the Korgath Krusher, perfected to a fine science by the man from Nagasaki! Comet: The Korgath Krusher! Citizen Munich, with his already injured back is done for, Riley! Riley: Yep. But Munich, a higher force possibly helping him, has the presence of mind to go for the eyes. Munich wraps his hands around Korgath’s massive head, and pokes his fingers through Dominic’s, mask, and starts to poke the eyes of the beast! Korgath screams in pain and is forced to put Munich down, before Kivell can admonish Munich for his actions, Dominic comes charging! Korgath swings out his right arm looking for a clothesline to down Munich, but Munich sidesteps, gets underneath the arm, and wraps his own right around Korgath’s head. The former JL Champ drops to his knees, and drives his shoulder into Dominic’s jaw! Dominic stays on his knees, rightfully stunned by the Plan M! Munich, using his last gasp, climbs back to his feet, and runs to the near by ropes. He flies off of them, and comes towards Korgath. Dominic has no time to protect himself and…..BAMBOOZLE!! The dropkick knocks Dominic Comet: Munich has just destroyed Korgath with the Plan M and the bamboozle! Back in the ring, the crowd has sprung back to life, and is asking Munich to go for the cover. Munich climbs back to his feet, and immediately, points to the nearby corner. The smaller man quickly gets into the corner, and climbs the nearby turnbuckles. The crowd is standing now, waiting from Munich to leap off. Munich jumps, and nails his right leg into Korgath’s neck! The Leap of Cynicism complete, Munich crawls over for the cover! ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! *DINGDINGDING* Funyon: Your winner of the bout….MMUUNIICCHH! “Gimme Shelter” kicks up on the PA system once more, and Munich hobbles up the ramp, spent from this encounter with a beast he toppled. Comet: Stay tuned little superheroes! We’ll be right back with more Lockdown!
  5. Chuck Woolery

    What movies will you be going to see in 2005?

    Panopticon, and I suggest you all seek out a theatre that's showing it. It's going to be Short Film of the Year for 2005, mark my words.
  6. Chuck Woolery

    Breaking Kayfabe, December 14, 2004!

    As usual, everyone gets put over but me. Sigh. SIGH.
  7. Chuck Woolery

    Worst Song(s) of the Year

    Whoever said Tipsy was spot-on the money. "Goodies" actually grew on me, but "Tipsy" is only good for making every person in my school say "Err'body" to the point of excess.
  8. The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF STORM, DECEMBER 10, 2004, LIVE FROM THE RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL IN NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK! (5:00pm PDT, 8:00pm EDT; check local listings) Send marked matches, promos, etc. to Thoth Move over, Rockettes! Just two shows away from SWF Slay Ride, the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation invades Radio City Music Hall for the last Storm of the year! Slay Ride should begin to take shape here, with the World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender being crowned tonight! Surely other people will want to get good matches for Slay Ride, and they'd better be setting things up tonight! MAIN EVENT COLD FRONT CLASSIC FINALS 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS MATCH #1 Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix (SWF Intercontinental-Television Champion) v. #3 Sacred -> It's been just over a month since the Cold Front Classic began, and tonight it comes to an end! Landon Maddix has gone through Christian Fury and a ladder match with "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins to get to this point, and you know he'll be hungry for a shot at the SWF Championship that only barely eluded him last time. Sacred, meanwhile, bested Manson in the first round, and knocked off the higher-seeded Max King in a second-round cage match. Sacred has made a huge impact since his return at Ashes 2 Ashes, and a victory here would give him a chance at a second title reign -- however, that chance would come against the leader of his current faction, Toxxic! Rules: The first person to defeat their opponent twice wins. Falls come through pins, DQs, count-outs, or making your opponent submit. Word Limit: 10000 Marker: Chuck Woolery, Thoth and Suicide King. TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Revolution Zero (Toxxic and Sean Davis, SWF Tag Team Champions) v. Hollywood Boulevard (Ghost and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez) -> There truly is no rest for the wicked tonight, as the SWF Tag Team Champions, four days off of their title victory, find themselves defending the belts once again. There were some shady circumstances in play on Smarkdown, and more importantly -- the winning submission was not on either member of Hollywood Boulevard! The team of Toxxic and Sean Davis is 1-0, but with nobody there to distract them from the champs, can Hollywood Boulevard pull off the huge victory? Rules: Standard tag rules. Word Limit: 5000 Marker: Justice HARDCORE MATCH Danny Dagda (accompanied by the Rockettes) v. Carnage -> Two hardcore warriors will fight to decide who moves ahead in line for a shot at Hardcore Gamers' Champion Sean Davis! Danny Dagda has a huge emotional and physical advantage, as he'll have the Radio City Rockettes in his corner! Will this be enough of an advantage to give him the victory over the combustible Carnage? Rules: Oh my God there's no rules how can this be? Word Limit: 4500 Marker: Dace59 HOLY HELL MATCH "The Icon" Max King v. Manson v. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins -> So we've got three guys. There's three of them. They all seem to be very nice people. So naturally, they're going to be fighting in a church. Merry fucking Christmas. Rules: Brawl in a church. If you are thrown out of the church, are pinned, or are made to submit, you lose. Last man standing wins. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: 5_moves_of_doom Opening Promo: Kaine Also on STORM: Kaine, fresh off a NASTY I Just Broke Your Neck courtesy of Spike Jenkins, will likely have words for the Cruiserweight Champion! Christian Fury and David Cross, not booked after losing their Tag straps, might say something about it, but it's highly unlikely! Plus: Who will be the first to say that SWF Slay Ride was the worst PPV name ever? Well guess what -- I didn't come up with it, Tom did! The joke's on you, and the STORM is on Friday!
  9. Chuck Woolery

    kkk NFL Pick 'em Week 14

    Chicago at Jacksonville Cincinnati at New England Cleveland at Buffalo Detroit at Green Bay Indianapolis at Houston New Orleans at Dallas N.Y. Giants at Baltimore Oakland at Atlanta Seattle at Minnesota Miami at Denver N.Y. Jets at Pittsburgh San Francisco at Arizona St. Louis at Carolina Tampa Bay at San Diego Philadelphia at Washington Kansas City at Tennessee Tiebreaker: 24
  10. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Storm Card, 12-10-04!

    I actually don't think it was just you, Dace...
  11. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Storm Card, 12-10-04!

    Landon, Sacred take note -- Chris Raynor has been subbed out for Thoth as marker for the main event. Thoth, if that's going to be a problem let me know.
  12. Chuck Woolery

    Storm predictions~!

    The Rockettes are a group of famous New York girls who kick high. And Dagda had best not no-show. I had this great idea for his match where he ties Carnage and Frisco up in the ropes and has every one of the Rockettes kick them both in the nuts. There's like 50 Rockettes... it'd be effective.
  13. Chuck Woolery

    The Angle Awards 2004!~

    Dude, Drek/Calvin's one night feud needs to be on there somewhere. That's the only thing of note I've done this year.
  14. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Storm Card, 12-10-04!

    We'd appreciate it if you sent it to all three, but if you're in a rush to get off the computer you can probably send it to just one of us and tellwhichever one to pass it along to our marker buddies. Also, Tom already fielded the question, but yes -- we're trying a new format for this main event. Instead of one person's opinion deciding the match, we're going to have all three markers read both matches and then secretly vote for the winner. We're trying to cut down on margin of error in bigger matches -- if this winds up being an effective system, it'll probably be done more often.
  15. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    SWF SLAY RIDE December 19, 2004 Deck the walls... with BLOOD! Seriously, now, good show, guys. I was very impressed with the number of full matches I received, with only one match being a partial. I know you guys have midterms and shit coming up, so that we could pull out an effort like this is damn good. Mad props to Landon for bringing the promo goodness. Also, Zack and Ghost really should post their losing match, as I thought it was damn good and the decision there was pretty close. So close, in fact, that... ...well, you'll have to wait for the Storm card for that. And don't forget. SWF SLAY RIDE December 19, 2004 Deck the walls... with BLOOD!
  16. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    "Ho ho ho!" SWF Smarkdown has not yet started, but on screen we can see a commercial, with the smiling face of Santa Claus filling our screen. Santa appears to have long blonde hair and a scruffy white beard, and he's a lot thinner than he's been portrayed. We pan back to see that he's riding in a sleigh, the reindeer guiding him over various spots in the world. His sleigh passes over the Meadowlands, and Santa looks down, his X-RAY VISION allowing him to see through the roof of the arena and down at the SWF action that's happening tonight. Santa looks up, pondering the situation for a moment before... "Ho ho holy shit, that's a whole lot of mayhem." BAM! CRAZY LOUD MUSIC! "CAROL OF THE BELLS" BY METALLICA! NARCOSYNTHESIS BY SACRED! INTOXXICATION BY TOXXIC! DANNY DAGDA'S FINISHER BY DANNY DAGDA! Santa watches all of this, getting distracted from his work... finally he snaps out of it, looking up... ... only to get decapitated by a low flying plane. December 19, 2004 SWF SLAY RIDE Deck the walls... with blood
  17. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    “It’s Main Event time in the Meadowlands,” Cyclone Comet exclaims as the live feed returns to the arena, “and what a main event we have for you fair Citizens this evening! Team ANGER are defending their tag championships against not one but two teams in the form of Hollywood Boulevard and Toxxic and Sean Davis from Revolution Zero! Yes, that’s right; the longest-reigning tag champs EVER-” “If it really is Van Siclen!” Riley interjects. “I’m sure he’s involved somewhere, but there’s two men under Ghost masks and you can never be sure who’s where!” “-and the three-time Hardcore Champion Citizen Davis who is teaming for the first time in regular tag competition with his stablemate, World Heavyweight Champion Toxxic,” Comet finishes, glowering sideways at his commentary partner. “So many people have been or can be double champions,” Riley muses. “Man, you’d almost think the roster was under-strength or something...” However, before the ambiguously-gay colour commentator can utter any more heresy the opening notes of ‘This Is Your Life’ by Switchfoot hits, and the Meadowlands crowd rises in response as the figures of Todd Cortez and Ghost emerge at the top of the entrance ramp. The masked man waves at the fans and slaps hands on the way down to the ring while Cortez is more sombre, crossing his arms in the straight-edge ‘X’ before following in his partner’s wake. “Ladies and gentlemen, the following Tag Team Three-Way Dance is scheduled for one fall, and is for the SWF World Tag Team Championships,” Funyon booms over the PA system. “Introducing first, at a combined weight of 446lbs, they are... possibly the longest-reigning Tag Team Champions of all time; Ghost and USJL Champion Todd Cortez... HOLLLLLLY-WOOOOOOOOD... BOOOOUUUUUUULE-VAAAAAARRRRRRRRRD!!” “BOU-LE-VARD!” “BOU-LE-VARD!” Ghost ascends the turnbuckle and waves his arms at the fans, prompting them to make yet more noise in support of the dynamic duo while Cortez removes his cross and kisses it before handing it to the timekeeper and rolling into the ring to join his partner. The two men come together and confer in the middle of the ring, Ghost absent-mindedly rubbing the back of his neck. “And there you see the result of Lockdown’s misfortune,” Comet notes, “where Ghost took a Dangerlust from our World Heavyweight Champion. Thankfully the courageous competitor is able to wrestle tonight, but you can bet that both the other teams will be attempting to target that neck which cannot be at one hundred percent!” “And why not?” Riley asks, “if you’re stupid enough to get into the ring with an injury, you’d better be ready to have it exploited!” Before Comet can reply to his commentary partner’s logic every light in the arena hits full and the Smarktron whites out. For a moment all that is heard is a faint *skritch-skritch*. Then: “WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The brutal guitars of ‘Battle Ready’ by Otep fire up, and as the drums kick in lightning spears down from the heavens and ignites blasts of red and gold pyro across the front of the soundstage, momentarily obscuring the stage itself in a cloud of smoke. It takes a moment or so for it to clear, and when it does so four familiar figures stand there. “And their opponents,” Funyon declares as the quartet start down the ramp, “accompanied to the ring by Jet and Marcus Washington, representing Revolution Zero; at a combined weight of 488lbs, the team of SWF Hardcore Gamer’s Champion, Sean Davis and SWF WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPION... TOXXXXX-IIIIIIIIC !!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” The straight-edger ignores the jeers of the crowd as his eyes are fix on the ring and the masked figure of Ghost, who stares back at the World Champion through the eyeholes of his mask. Meanwhile Jet is alternately flirting and talking trash to the fans who line the entranceway while Washington is engaged in last-minute discussions with his client Sean Davis, who has removed his Hardcore belt and handed it to his long-time friend. “Tell me Comet, can you think of a more dangerous pairing than this?” Riley asks with some satisfaction, “the raw power and endurance of Davis coupled with the speed, inventiveness and ring-savvy of the Straight-Edge Sensation?” “Robert, you sound like a car advert,” Comet tells his partner, “but to answer your question; short of Nathaniel Kibagami and Dace ‘Fudging’ Night forming a tag team, I’m not sure if I can.” “Don’t even joke about that...” Riley replies weakly. Toxxic and Davis are in the ring now, the World Champion cracking his neck from side-to-side as he glares at Ghost. Cortez has his arm around his tag partner’s shoulder and is speaking urgently to him, but the masked man appears to be only half-listening. “Well Citizens, now we are just waiting for the champions...” Comet begins, but cuts himself off as the creepy beginning of ‘Back To Earth’ by Ozzy Osbourne starts up - but then cuts into the guitar solo of ‘Aerials’ by System Of A Down! A massive pyro explosion briefly blinds the crowd before the leather-jacketed duo of Cross and Fury emerge from the back and start to make their way down the ramp. “And their opponents,” Funyon declares, “at a combined weight of 506lbs, they are the reigning and defending SWF World Tag Team Champions; the team of David Cross and Christian Fury... TEEEEEAAAAAAAAMMM... ANNNNN-GERRRRRRR!!” “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Cross acknowledges the fans as the duo approach the ramp, but Christian Fury has eyes for only one thing - the Hardcore Gamer’s belt clutched in Marcus Washington’s hands, the PA not yet having handed it over to the timekeeper. Upon seeing it his focus changes to Sean Davis, who is standing looking over the top rope with a grim smile on his face. The sight of the Perfect Storm seems to galvanise Fury, who shrugs his leather jacket off and charges the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope and popping up to start delivering right hands to the startled Sean Davis! Cross is slightly slower but enters moments later to find that Toxxic and Ghost have gone for each other, so the Fallen Angel focuses on the man who took his USJL title from him and heads straight for Todd Cortez! *DING-DING-DING!* “Citizen Fury doesn’t appear to be bothered by that Cyclone Driver he received on the floor during Lockdown,” Comet notes as the former HGC champ maintains his advantage over the flatfooted Davis, “and at the moment he’s really taking it to the big man!” “Huh, for the moment,” Riley snorts, “a couple of neckbreakers will soon sort him out.” Not just yet however, as Fury leaps into the air and drives a spinning heelkick in Sean Davis’ jaw, spilling the Perfect Storm over the top rope and to the floor! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Davis stands up, rubbing his head and clearly dizzy. Fury isn’t finished yet though, as he steps through the ropes before bouncing off the second one, jumping from there to the top and hitting a HUGE Supersault out onto Davis on the arena floor! “HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” In the ring, Ghost has floored Toxxic with a clothesline. Turning around, the masked man sees Cortez has driven Cross back towards the ropes with a flurry of kicks and Ghost steps up beside his partner before the pair unleash a devastating double superkick to the Fallen Angel that sees him topple backwards over the top rope as well! Fury has got up first on the floor and he hauls his tag partner back to his feet to check on him, but neither see Sean Davis rise to his feet behind them... Hollywood Boulevard do though, and they both charge for the ropes with Cortez hitting a running plancha over the top while Ghost goes straight through with a suicide dive! “HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” All five wrestlers go down in a heap while Toxxic gets back up in the ring, looking around and wondering where everyone has gone. Referee Ced Ordonez is looking over the top rope with some concern so Toxxic follows his gaze and sees the pile of SWF talent on the floor of the Meadowlands, all picking themselves up. With the realisation that he has only a one-in-five chance of hitting his own partner Toxxic takes a few steps back before running forwards and launching himself over the top with a tope con hilo that sends everyone back down again! “HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” Ced starts counting, but the six wrestlers on the floor are picking themselves up, punching each other and generally ignoring him. With his only option being to keep counting until the entire match is ended on a triple count-out, Ced looks around at the fans for ideas... “LET’S GO CED!” “LET’S GO CED!” Ordonez appears to be thinking for a moment... then the Bermani Cross Wizard steps through the ropes, vaults up to the top cable and flips off backwards with a corkscrew senton bomb that sends the entire heap of wrestlers back down yet again! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” “...Citizens, I can’t believe what I’ve just witnessed,” Comet says, totally non-plussed. “SWF referee and former superstar Ced Ordonez has just hit the Fire Soul onto the entire Tag Championship match!” “Well, it’s one way to get them to listen to him,” Riley laughs as Ordonez hauls Ghost up and barks at the masked man to either get in the ring or get onto the apron. A vaguely-dazed Ghost wanders off compliantly while Ced turns his attention to the rest of the flattened wrestlers, who meekly pick themselves up and clamber back into the ring with barely a shove between them. “I’m thinking that Citizen Ordonez and the rest of the SWF referees should physically interpose themselves a little more often,” Comet notes. However, once in the ring whatever surprise is left wears off from the assorted wrestlers, and it takes Ced everything he has to persuade them that only two can start the match. It is Cortez and Cross who end up facing each other while Ghost and Fury nurse their necks on the apron and Rev-0 look on as bystanders. “Now here is another intrigue in this match, quite apart from the various private feuds going on here,” Comet says, “as both Hollywood Boulevard and Team ANGER have a member at less than full strength. Will this tell later in the match?” “Hmm, let me think,” Riley says sarcastically as Cross beckons Cortez in, “the team of the strongest man in the company and the World Champion is the only one in which both members are both fully healthy? Yeah, I think that might ‘tell’!” Todd Cortez seems to be understandably reluctant to close with the bigger, stronger David Cross; instead the Urban Legend circles his opponent a couple of times, looking for an opening. Cross quickly tires of the game and moves in towards the straight-edger, but Cortez skips out of the way and delivers a stinging kick to the bigger man’s ribs. Cross wheels around to follow his sprightly opponent and Cortez tries to kick again, but this time the Fallen Angel catches the Urban Legend’s foot and then sweeps his other leg out from under him to take him down to the mat. Cross immediately dives on top of Cortez as he looks to secure a front facelock but Cortez squirms out from underneath him and grabs Cross’ right arm, trying to lock in a fujiwara armbar. Cross grabs his right wrist with his left hand to lock his arm in place and for a moment the two men struggle against each other. Then Cortez tries to shift his attack by reaching out with his left arm to hook in a Dragon sleeper and lock an inverted Street Dreams onto Cross, but David takes advantage of the straight edger’s lessened hold on his right arm to wrench it free and spin around on the mat to fight off the attempted Dragon sleeper by catching Cortez with a top wristlock. Cross has little leverage to work with but his greater strength starts to tell as he forces Cortez back down to the mat and manages to consolidate his position over the Urban Legend, then pins Cortez’ wrist to the mat and pushes himself up into the air before driving a knee down at the straight-edger’s trapped limb. Cortez manages to twist away at the last second, then corkscrews his body to break Cross’ grip and lock in an armwringer of sorts. “LET’S GO COR-TEZ!” “LET’S GET CROSS!” The fans are divided in their support but it is Cortez who comes out on top for the moment as he rises to his feet, trying to keep the armwringer locked in on the stronger Cross who is attempting to fight up. Two lightning-fast kicks flash out to the bigger man’s bicep and cause him to cry out in pain, but with surprising agility David Cross rolls forward and out of the hold before reversing the tables on Cortez. The Fallen Angel looks to be winding up for a short-arm lariat, injured arm or no, but Cortez performs a front handspring to release the torque on his limb and drops to the mat to sweep-kick Cross’ legs out from under him. Cross releases his grip upon landing on his back and Cortez heads straight for the ropes, jumping back off the second cable as he goes for a quebrada. It’s too early in the match for that kind of higher-risk move to hit home and David Cross rolls out of the way, but Cortez sees this at the last moment and manages to land on his feet. Cross is back up to a vertical base and the big man shows his own martial arts background by launching a kick at Cortez; not quick enough to catch the Urban Legend out however, as he raises his left knee to block the blow before vaulting off the ground and bringing his right boot around in a devastating arc that connects with the back and side of Cross’ head! *CRACK!* “LET’S GO COR-TEZ!” “What an enzuigiri from Citizen Cortez!” Comet exclaims as Cross topples to the mat and the fans burst into applause, “the two men were equally matched for a while there but the Urban Legend came out on top!” “I’m already bored,” Riley yawns, “get Davis in there for some NECKSNAPPING~ action!” Todd Cortez doesn’t seem anxious to tag either of Revolution Zero into the ring, however; instead the straight-edger applies a stepover armbar to the stunned Cross, digging his knee into the big man’s shoulder for good measure. “Sound tactics here from Cortez,” Comet nods, “he is targeting the arm of the stronger man to limit the high-impact moves Cross favours in the later stages of matches.” Indeed, David Cross’ arm seems to be causing him considerable pain - or rather, Todd Cortez is causing considerable pain to the right arm of David Cross. Seeing his partner unable to get away Christian Fury steps through the ropes, and before Ordonez can intervene the man from Cleveland simply boots the unwary Cortez in the back of the head! Ced quickly tries to remove him but by this time the damage is done, and Ghost comes into the ring as well to remonstrate with Fury. Fury was actually leaving by this point but Ghost’s shove doesn’t seem to sit well with the former HGC champion, who turns around and shoves the masked man back. Ghost looks to be about to go for Fury but Fury turns away... then whips back around with a double spinning backfist that floors the unwary masked wrestler! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “The good Citizens here tonight don’t seem to be too enamoured with this newer, sourer version of Christian Fury,” Comet notes as Ordonez gets in Fury’s face, ordering him out of the ring. “Has anyone ever been enamoured of Christian Fury?” Riley asks lazily, picking his teeth with the detachable kendo stick of the Annie Onita SWF Action Figure that is currently gracing his side of the commentary desk, having been dressed up in a Barbie frock. Meanwhile, David Cross has taken advantage of his partner’s intervention to pick himself up off the mat and shake his arm out to try and relieve some of the pain. His success in this matter is unclear, but what he does succeed in doing is kicking Ghost out under the bottom rope before returning his attention to Todd Cortez. The Urban Legend has just managed to get back to his feet after Fury’s kick when he is turned around, hoisted off the mat and then driven down with a devastating spinebuster! *WHAM!* Figuring that it probably can’t hurt, Cross hooks the leg of his winded opponent and signals at Ordonez to count... ONE! TW- -but Cross is proved wrong; it can hurt, and it does so because Toxxic has just dropkicked him in the side of the head! Davis hauls the Fallen Angel up before he can react, then applies an armwringer with all of his considerable strength. Ordonez is already warning the Rev-0 duo about getting out of the ring but Toxxic fires off another dropkick at the trapped limb, then he and Sean beat a retreat as Cross collapses to his knees and cradles his arm. “It looks like Toxxic and Davis don’t want Cross to have full use of that arm either,” Comet notes. “Hey, just because Todd Cortez was doing it doesn’t automatically mean it’s stupid,” Riley replies. “Just most of the time.” Cortez is coughing as the air gets back into his lungs and Cross hears the noise; he turns his attention back to his opponent and tries to block out the pain of his arm, but Cortez is aware that he could still be in trouble and lashes out with another sweep kick from his sitting position. Cross manages to jump that and reaches down for his opponent, but Cortez pushes himself up and in the same motion takes hold of Cross’ right arm before pivoting his hips and bringing the bigger man over in a Judo throw. Cross lands hard and Cortez wraps his legs around his opponent’s arm in a juji-gatame attempt, but Todd’s mastery of the move is not on a level with Danny Williams and Cross succeeds in locking his hands together again, then rolls himself up to his knees and forces Cortez back onto his shoulders. Ordonez dives to count... ONE! TW- -Cortez brings one off the canvas but maintains his grip on Cross’ arm, and it is painfully obvious to the bigger man that if he unlocks his hands he’s quickly going to have a hyper-extended elbow. With few other options available to him David Cross gets both his feet under him, then with a roar of effort he straightens up, lifting Todd Cortez bodily off the mat! Cross’ right arm is screaming at him but it is braced by his untouched left one and he hoists higher, looking to to bomb Cortez down on his shoulders or neck. The Urban Legend can tell where this is going and unlocks his legs to brace against the mat and guard against this fate; probably a wise move, but one that leaves him open to a Cross kick to the gut that breaks his grip on the Fallen Angel’s wrist, then a high knee to the face that knocks him back, then a- *CRACK!* -crescent kick that floors the USJL champion! “LET’S GET CROSS!” “LET’S GET CROSS!” David Cross shakes his right arm out once more and looks over at Christian Fury, evidently thinking about tagging out. Fury reaches over the ropes and calls for it, but after another second Cross almost imperceptibly shakes his head and turns his attention back to the half-dazed Todd Cortez. “Why would Citizen Cross ignore his tag partner like that?” Comet asks as Fury yells Cross’ name, evidently wondering the same thing. “I’ve been trying to ignore Chris Fury for a while now,” Riley replies, “with only limited success.” Cortez has rolled over onto all fours and Cross grabs him around the waist, apparently looking for a gutwrench suplex; his right arm doesn’t agree with the plan however and the Fallen Angel has to retreat while clutching his bicep. Cortez realises that he’s had a narrow escape and looks to capitalise by clambering back to his feet and taking hold of Cross’ arm, then falling backwards with a single-arm DDT that sends Cross rolling away in agony. Cortez sits back up and looks around at Ghost, who has his hand extended for a tag... but just like Cross, Cortez apparently decides against it and turns back to his bigger opponent leaving Ghost looking as puzzled as his mask will allow. “Citizen Cortez also seems unwilling to tag his partner,” Comet muses, “could this have anything to do with the nagging injuries both Ghost and Fury are carrying?” Todd Cortez grabs hold of David Cross’ arm and brings the bigger man up by it, then wraps his arms around it and drops backwards in another single-arm DDT before scrambling over to lock in his stepover armbar again. Nonetheless, the Urban Legend is looking a little weary and looks over to his corner again where Ghost is waiting. However, some shouting from behind him attracts his attention and he turns his head... to see Toxxic reaching over the top rope and calling for the tag. “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “You know, Cortez would be very well-advised to tag in the Hot Commodity,” Riley points out, “Toxxic’s just as good as him at working the arm.” “That’s the only body part Toxxic can work,” Comet grumbles, “unless you count hitting people in the head.” “Why change a winning formula?” Cortez looks around at the fans, who seem to be very much against him tagging the detested World Champion in. Nonetheless, the Urban Legend reluctantly gets back up to his feet and hauls Cross up by his arm, then drags the pained Fallen Angel over to the Rev-0 corner where he seems to consider for a moment... and extends his hand. *smak* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Toxxic vaults in over the top rope and lands a double axehandle on Cross’ trapped arm as Cortez holds it tightly. Cross turns away from his antagonist in an attempt to shield his limb but Toxxic simply grabs the bigger man in a reverse headlock and drops to one knee, driving the other into the back of Cross’ neck, before popping back up to his feet and then falling backwards to the canvas to deliver a reverse DDT and complete the Detoxx combination. Even with the sudden pain in his skull Cross instinctively turns over onto his front to keep his shoulders off the mat, but Toxxic just grabs his right arm and then drops and corkscrews his body through the air, wrenching the injured limb further and driving Cross’ face into the mat at the same time. “LET’S GET CROSS!” “LET’S GET CROSS!” Cross rebounds back off the mat with blood starting to trickle from his nose, but Toxxic immediately dives over Cross’ shoulders and brings him over into an Oklahoma Roll! ONE! TWO!! ...but Cross kicks just after two, and both Chris Fury and Todd Cortez cease their encroachment into the ring and return to their corners. Toxxic fires a quick look at them both, then grabs Cross’ arm again and brings the bigger man up to his feet. Cross tries to fight but Toxxic simply boots him in the bicep, then runs towards his own corner. The agile World Champion runs straight up the turnbuckle and jumps back off, holding David’s arm underneath his leg as he flies through the air before- *WHAM!* -driving it into the canvas with a top rope arm-capture legdrop! Cross howls in pain as the Meadowlands boos furiously, but Toxxic still has a hold of him arm and runs for his own corner again, running up the turnbuckles as before but this time dropping straight down to the arena floor, guillotining Cross’ arm across the top rope! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The World Champion takes a moment to flick a v-sign at a particularly vocal fan, then hops back up to the ring apron, vaults to the top rope and comes flying off at the Fallen Angel. Cross has struggled back up to his feet and is nursing his arm but is totally unprepared for the springboard hurricanrana that greets him and sends him skidding on the back of his neck towards the only neutral corner. “Typical of Toxxic,” Comet sniffs, “entering the ring after others have already done the hard work.” “Hey, Cortez didn’t have to tag him in,” Riley defends the Straight-Edge Sensation. Toxxic grabs Cross by the hair and cockily brings the Fallen Angel up despite Ced Ordonez’ warnings, but the big man suddenly explodes forwards and levels the World Champion with a left-arm lariat! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Cross falls to his knees, slightly overbalancing due to being unused to using his left arm in that way. The blow wasn’t as strong as normal either; a David Cross lariat would normally leave Toxxic floored for a while, but the straight-edger is already starting to rise. Cross looks down at the World Champion, then across at Chris Fury who is screaming for the tag. Cross would like to exact some revenge on Toxxic but evidently decides that tagging his partner in would be the better plan... but his moment of indecision costs him, as Sean Davis has migrated along the ring apron and reaches out to grab Cross’ ponytail and hold him in place! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Cross twists around and tries to extract himself from the grip of the Perfect Storm as Ordonez attempts to intervene, but Davis simply changes his grip to the back of Cross’ head and then drops off the apron to guillotine David’s throat over the top rope! Cross stumbles backwards wheezing, straight into Toxxic who grabs the right arm and cinches an armwringer in again. Cross would normally be able to shrug the cruiserweight off but his arm has taken so much punishment now that he can do little more than go where Toxxic tugs him, and Toxxic takes advantage of this by Irish-whipping the bigger man into the Rev-0 corner! Davis has climbed back up into the corner and wraps one meaty arm around Cross’ throat, then receives the tag from Toxxic and steps through the ropes. “How much more of this abuse can David Cross take?” Comet asks in dismay as the two former FSU football players go nose-to-nose. Cross delivers a forearm shot to Davis’ head but the Perfect Storm is able to shrug off the comparatively weak left-arm blow, and responds with a right hook that is followed up by a monstrous Uraken that floors the Fallen Angel! “That’s gotta hurt,” Riley comments with little sympathy as Cross clutches his jaw and Sean roars at the crowd, who respond negatively. “I have every confidence that Citizen Cross will be able to fight through the pain in the name of JUSTICE~!” Comet replies. “He’d better start fighting through it in the name of keeping his precious Tag Team Titles, if you ask me,” Riley responds laconically. “I didn’t ask you.” “And that’s why the SWF hasn’t won ‘Commentary Team Of The Year’ in Wrestling Panda since you replaced Stevens,” Riley sighs. “I normally miss him like I’d miss syphilis, but you’re a special case.” While the commentators bicker Sean Davis has grabbed Cross by the head and hauled him upright. The constant abuse of his arm has left it virtually useless but Toxxic and the Perfect Storm have started to work on Cross’ head as well, leaving the Fallen Angel slightly dazed. Davis takes advantage of this by scooping Cross up onto his right shoulder, then dropping to one knee and delivering a brutal shoulderbreaker that causes David to yell out in pain. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Sean’s mighty grip keeps David Cross in place despite his downwards momentum, and the Perfect Storm rearranges his grip so that he can hoist the man from Oil City above his head in a military press. Sean walks over to the Hollywood Boulevard corner, barks ‘Move!’ at them and then simply drops David Cross, allowing the Fallen Angel’s head to rebound off the top buckle! For a moment either Ghost or Cortez could easily tag themselves in off the dazed Cross but neither seem to fancy the idea. However, when Sean Davis reaches down to pick his quarry up Ghost reaches into the ring and slaps the bigger man’s back! *smak* Davis turns round, first in surprise and then anger, but Ced Ordonez intersperses himself between Davis and Ghost and declares the tag! The Perfect Storm tries to argue the call but Ordonez is having none of it and begin counting in no uncertain manner. With his only other option to be disqualified and see his dreams of becoming Tag Team Champion again go up in smoke, Davis reluctantly clambers out through the ropes and leaves Ghost alone in the ring with the battered Cross. The masked man hauls Cross up and places him in a front facelock, then spins around and drives his opponent’s face into the mat with the Code Red before turnin Cross over and hooking the leg for the pin! ONE! TWO!! THR- -but Cross kicks out just before Chris Fury and Toxxic both reach the site of the pin! With the immediate danger past Fury turns and shoves Toxxic, understandably vexed at the straight-edger not only for doing so much damage to his tag partner but also for causing him to be powerbombed onto the hood of his own car. Toxxic regains his balance and looks about to wade back in on the former HGC champion but Ced Ordonez interposes himself once more and firmly directs each man back to his respective corner. Meanwhile, Ghost has picked David Cross up off the mat and Irish whipped him into the neutral corner. The battered Fallen Angel is winded by the impact as seems unable to take evasive action as Ghost charges across the ring towards him, then leaps into the air with a graceful 360-degree twist and drives a forearm into Cross’ face on impact to deliver The Answer! Cross staggers forward, a movement that takes him straight past the possible-Van Siclen who grabs both of Cross’ arms to set him up in a standing crossface before dropping down and driving the back of David’s neck into Ghost’s right knee. Ghost makes the pin attempt once more as Ordonez drops to count... ONE! TWO!! THHHRRRRR- -but Toxxic comes crashing in with a basement dropkick that knocks Ghost off the pin and seems to jar the injured neck of the Masked Man. Ced Ordonez physically bundles the World Champion out of the ring and turns back to regard the two legal competitors who are both lying on the mat. Since neither immediately start to rise to their feet Ced raises his arms and begins to count... ‘ONE!’ ‘TWO!’ “LET’S GET CROSS!” ‘THREE!’ “BOU-LE-VARD!” ‘FOUR!’ As the fans start chanting for one or another to get back to their feet first Toxxic and Sean Davis look at each other, clearly wondering whether they will win the belts on a double countout of the other two teams or if Team ANGER will retain on a technicality. Marcus Washington seems puzzled as well and scurries over to speak with the timekeeper... but it won’t come to that just yet, as Ghost has grabbed the ring ropes and is starting to pull himself up! “Thank goodness that Citizen Ghost is still in this,” Comet exclaims, “I was fearing that blow from Toxxic has re-aggravated the neck injury he suffered from the Dangerlust!” “Give it time...” Riley mutters. David Cross is stirring too, although the Fallen Angel appears to be having trouble with getting up since he can only use one arm to support his weight. Ghost is up to his feet first which causes Ced to break his count; the masked man then manages to pull Cross up the rest of the way and delivers a right hand that knocks the dazed bigger man back onto the ropes. Ghost seems to gather his wits for a second, then Irish whips Cross across the ring into the far cables. Christian Fury desperately reaches out and tries to blind-tag himself in but to no avail as Cross is out of reach; Ghost readies himself for a clothesline... but Cross ducks under the move and continues on! Ghost turns, caught off-guard by the Fallen Angel’s unexpected evasion, but he is caught even more off-guard by the fact that David Cross has rebounded again and drives his shoulder into the masked man’s midsection with a devastating spear! *WHAM!* “LET’S GET CROSS!” “BOU-LE VARD!” “LET’S GET CROSS!” “BOU-LE-VARD!” The warring chants rise up in the Meadowlands as Ghost clutches his gut... but Cross is hurt as well, as the tag champion instinctively used his damaged right shoulder to deliver the spear! Both men are in severe pain but both are fighting just as hard to get up. Ghost is just up first and delivers a right hand to Cross but the bigger man continues to rise anyway although he looks far from with-it. Paying no heed to his usual preferences, the possible-Van Siclen draws his right arm back for a knife-edge chop... ...and David Cross’ left hand snakes out to grab him by the throat! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” For a second David Cross just gathers his strength as Ghost claws desperately at the hand that is cutting off his breathing. Ced Ordonez begins a count on the choke, but Cross isn’t planning to hold on for that long; instead the Fallen Angel simply hoists Ghost off the mat before driving him down with an ugly, imprecise but still highly effective chokeslam! *BANG!* “LET’S GET CROSS!” “LET’S GET CROSS!” “DAVID!” Cross hears the familiar voice shouting through the chants of the crowd, and looks up to lock eyes with a desperate Christian Fury. The former HGC champ only has the toe of his right boot in contact with the ring apron - everything else is leaning as far forward as possible, hand extended for the tag. Cross looks behind him for a second to where Ghost is curled up, both hands on the back of his neck where the injury was aggravated by the chokeslam, then back at Fury who has similarly dodgy vertebrae... “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TURN AROUND!” Fury bellows, reaching for all he is worth. Cross looks back up... and comes to a decision. “After taking a beating for most of this match David Cross is finally in a position to tag his partner in, and it looks like he’s going for it!” Comet exclaims as Cross crawls as best he can with one arm towards his corner. Meanwhile Ghost has forced himself to work through the pain and is crawling as well, hand outstretched to make his own tag. Cross reaches up, balancing on his left arm and reaching out with his damaged right towards Chris Fury... and their hands connect. *smak* “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” A moment later Ghost’s hand finds its target. *smak* But Ghost was crawling towards the closest corner, and that corner wasn’t the one with Todd Cortez in. The masked man has just tagged in the muscle of Revolution Zero, Sean Davis. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Christian Fury scrambles in through the ropes and charges at the man who won the hardcore Gamer’s Championship from him on Lockdown, catching the Perfect Storm unawares with another spinning heelkick! Meanwhile Toxxic has dragged Ghost out of the ring, then proceeds to bang the masked man’s head against the ring post and tries to remove his mask! Ghost holds on as best he can but Toxxic’s fingers are slowly removing his cloth covering... until Todd Cortez charges across the ring, completely ignoring the match in progress, and dives over the ropes onto the Straight-Edge Sensation with a running plancha! Ordonez shouts at them to break it up but his attention is distracted as Fury rebounds off a reversed Irish whip and takes Davis down with a Lou Thesz Press, then begins raining right hands down on the big man! Ordonez has to haul Fury off and for a moment the former Clan member seems to be considering dropping the referee, but he thinks better of it and turns his attention back to Sean Davis. Fury brings his opponent up, then boots Davis in the gut and turns around to deliver the Lightning and Thunder... but the Perfect Storm counters and traps Fury in a full nelson! For a moment Christian kicks his feet helplessly, then Davis hoists him off the floor and drives him down with a full nelson slam right onto the back of his injured neck! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Fury writhes on the mat in agony, but Davis hasn’t finished yet. He turns his Lockdown opponent over onto his stomach, locks the full nelson on again and sits down to apply the Avalanche! “No!” Comet shouts as the Meadowlands crowd rises from its seats to shout derision at the former FSU football star, “you’ll break his neck!” “And?” Riley asks. Ced Ordonez is squatting down in front of Christian Fury, asking him if he wants to submit. Ghost is still woozy from the ringpost shot but Todd Cortez can see the predicament the match is in and goes to break the submission up- *CLANG!* -but is cut off as Marcus Washington introduces him to Forceful Bureaucracy courtesy of his steel briefcase! Toxxic clambers up into the ring and sees David Cross trying to haul himself back into the ring. The Fallen Angel’s injured arm is hampering him but the Straight-Edge Sensation decides to take no chances and runs straight for Cross, delivering a baseball slide that knocks the bigger man backwards into the guard rail! “COME ON FU-RY!” “COME ON FU-RY!” Christian Fury can hear the chants of the crowd in his ears, but more importantly he can also feel the pressure on the back of his neck. Sean Davis feels like the weight of the world, and as his neck screams at him more and more Christian Fury tries to focus on Ced Ordonez... ...fails... ...and blacks out. *DING-DING-DING!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners,” Funyon booms as ‘Battle Ready’ kicks up over the Meadowlands PA, “and NEW~ SWF Tag Team Champions... Sean Davis and Toxxic, RRRRRRRREVO-LUUUUUUUUTION... ZEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!!” Finally, Sean Davis releases his grip and looks over at Toxxic. The straight-edger is grinning his familiar lopsided smile as he takes one of the belts from Ced Ordonez, then his own World Title. Sean stands up and takes the other Tag belt, then his HGC title. The two men stand face-to-face for a moment... then turn their backs on each other and raise all four belts in the air, one in each hand. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Welcome to the Revolution. FADE OUT Copyright SWF 2004
  18. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    In catering, Landon Maddix has apparantly got himself another coffee and is now sat at a table, staring into space with the cup pressed against his lips. Obviously, now is a rather thought-provoking time for Maddix. He stands one match away from his best chance at the SWF World Title ever. And to get there, he's set to face Sacred, a rather significant face straight from his past. Not to mention the considerable strapping around his knee to bother him. "LANDON!" The last thing he needs is women creeping up on him. "The fu..." "Landon!" Megan Skye cries again, unable to contain herself as she waves a video cassette in Maddix's face excitedly. "I've got something you just HAVE to see!" "Ooh. Is it the latest episode of hit T.V drama 24?" "Uhm...no." "Well, is it...wait." Maddix stops his joking, noticing the label on the tape and sighing audibly. "Clusterfuck 2003. I'm guessing that isn't a porn video." "After you left I rewound the tape a bit and found something interesting that you really need to see before your match with Sacred. It's really important. See, I've got the answer to ALL your problems." Megan is beaming now, pleased with herself as much as she's pleased for Maddix. Maddix though doesn't seem too pleased. "Thing is, I was watching the tape and I saw that you couldn't get out of the Narcosynthesis..." "Yeah, no shit...of COURSE I couldn't get out of it! That's the point of the move..." "I know, I know, but I've seen..." "Don't take offence." Maddix starts, clearly ready to offend. "But you're no Dace Night honey. A few weeks wrestling training doesn't give you any sort of peripheral vision inside of a wrestling ring, or out for that matter." "It's not just a few weeks Landon." Megan snaps, clearly taking offence. "I have been by your side for months and by Todd's side even longer. I've helped you win matches and I've cost you matches. Woman or not, I'm not just a bit of eye candy on the side and you should know that!" "Look, I didn't mean..." "You know, more than anything else, I KNOW you! I know when you're worried and right now, I can see that you're worried about facing Sacred. Watching old video tapes in the dark? I don't have to be Dace Night to tell that's a pretty big clue to your mood. And you've been tetchy ever since you beat Spike. Look..." Megan sits down opposite Maddix, waiting for him make eye contact. "Look at me. We're a team. The best team around. Hell, if I could wrestle a lick, then we'd probably be going for the Tag Titles tonight we're so good. And as your team-mate, I think I deserve a chance to run this by you. I know you don't like company when you're worried about a big match and I know I'm probably not helping you right now, but I CAN help. At least hear me out." Sighing, Maddix gives in and mumbles "fine" under his breath, as Megan smiles. "I know how to get you out of the Narcosynthesis. Or, rather...I know how you can get yourself out of the Narcosynthesis." *Cue ominous music*
  19. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    "Smarkdown is moving faster than a speeding bullet here, Riley, and we're moving right to the next match on our show. A match between two men that have had their shots at furthering their careers pulled out from under them in very close contests!" Comet calls. "And one of them who didn't deserve to have such a shot taken out from under him in the form of "The Icon" Max King. I hope that he teaches that psychotic freak Carnage exactly what a REAL talent's skills are." Riley states. "Well, one has to wonder just how into this match Max King will be, after his loss to Sacred at Lockdown..." "However, unlike Carnage, King wasn't PINNED in that match." Riley reminds. "But like before, that match has no bearing on THIS match, so let's go to the ring!" Funyon is standing in the ring, and next to him is Kelly Connelly, looking very nice and sexy in her black business-suit. Funyon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first...the self-proclaimed future owner of SWF...Kelly "The Queen" Connelly! Kelly quickly snatches the microphone away from Funyon, pushing him aside with one hand. "Let me just set the record straight...Max King was NOT pinned in his match last show, so officially, he didn't lose. Sacred simply ran away from the greatness that is my charge. So everyone, stand up on your feet and show you respect, not that it matters from you ignorant imbeciles, and give it up for the one...the only..."THE ICON"...MAX...KING!" *BOOOOM* The dissipation of the fireworks and "Superstar" cuing up over the speakers herald the entrance of "The Icon", a serious look on his face as he starts to make his way to the ring, despite the negative reaction being sent his way as he makes the long walk. "Looks like King isn't too happy about not still being in the Cold Front Classic, Riley." Comet notes at King's expression. "Especially since almost immediately after losing that, he was booked into a match that took the SWF World Champion to his limit in the form of Carnage." "But this just shows how determined Max King is, and I have it on good source that he has guarunteed that he will not back down in this match and he will do anything that he can to win." "I don't really doubt that at all." Comet states as King gets into the ring with Kelly holding the ropes for him. King and Kelly don't continue on with their normal in-ring celebration, instead turning their attention immediately to the entrance as they await the arrival of Max King's opponent for this match. That entrance is signaled by the lights in the arena dimming and white fog rising from the stage. There's a good reaction for Carnage right now, as they are firmly against King and Kelly in this contest. Let the bodies hit the floor... Let the bodies hit the floor... Let the bodies hit the floor... Let the bodies hit the......FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR! Carnage steps through the curtain on the loud "Floor" call in his song, Frisco closely behind him as he steps out. Funyon: And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Frisco... The crowd boos at the top of their lungs...while they like Carnage in this contest, they're not exactly fans of Frisco. Funyon: ...hailing from Parts Unknown, standing 6'5" tall and weighing in at 307 pounds...CAAAARNAAAAAAAGE... "Carnage making his way to the ring, but look at this! Max King rushing out of the ring, and is apparently going to attack Carnage before he's even halfway down the ramp!" Comet notes. King quickly gets into arm's reach of Carnage and starts slugging away at his face on the outside of the ring with hard forearm shots to the bridge of the nose. "Great strategy by Max King!" Riley replies as the lights come back on in the arena and King is still pounding away at the head of Carnage on the rampway. "I told you that King said he would do whatever it took to get the win in this match, and taking out a man that took Toxxic to his limit early on is just the right strategy in this type of situation!" King manages to get Carnage wobbling, Frisco yelling at King for not giving Carnage a fair shake, and Kelly quickly rushes over to keep Frisco from getting involved in the fight. King grabs Carnage by the side straps of the mask, dragging him to ringside with an evil look on his face, setting him up to throw Carnage right into the nearest ring post. Carnage, however, shows his power by blocking the attempt, and quickly reversing it, causing the Icon to hit the ring post and collapse onto the arena floor in pain. It's hard to tell the expression on Carnage's face due to the mask that he's wearing, but one would assume that he's pleased with himself for doing such a thing to King as he lifts him up and tosses him into the ring, sliding in right after. *DING, DING, DING!* "And the match has NOW officially begun, Riley. And King got just what was coming to him for the injustice that he tried to pull on Carnage." Comet states. "That's your opinion only...I think King was playing it smart, but slipped up at the end." Riley states. Carnage begins to stalk King in the middle of the ring, "The Icon" on his knees and holding up his hands in a gesture that seems to say "Please Don't Kill me." Carnage shakes his head a bit, as if he's not going to accept the plea by King, and quickly goes to stomp him down on the mat. The crowd cheers loudly as Carnage continues to stomp and pound away at the downed former ICTV Champion. Carnage easily lifts King up onto his feet, throwing him into the ropes and raising his foot for a big Boot, but King holds onto the ropes, and Kelly pulls him out of the ring for the two of them to start regrouping their strategy. "Smart move, King. Stay out there as long as you can, don't let this big freak get any kind of major advantage in this contest." Riley calls. "Now when did you become the co-manager of Max King, Riley?" Comet asks, then continues before Riley can answer. "King is taking a breather here, his strategy that he wanted to start the match with didn't work out like he was hoping it would." King hears the referee counting a bit, protesting something to the referee...motioning to his fist and then to Carnage, as if to say that Carnage's fingerless gloves are loaded. The referee isn't having any of King's complaining, continuing to count for the moment, forcing King to have to slide back in under the bottom rope back into the ring to break up the count. Carnage quickly rushes over to try to attack, and immediately King slides back out of the ring, preventing Carnage from hitting him for the moment. "King's being very cowardly right now, if you ask me Riley. He's not even trying to face Carnage in that ring for the moment, and is seemingly more willing to just be counted out." Comet notes. As Comet says that though, Carnage pushes past the referee with his shoulder, stepping out of the ring while King has his back to him, and grabs the Icon by his hair, and FORCEFULLY throws him back into the ring. King scrambles to the ropes, about to pull himself out of the ring again to keep the big guy from getting the advantage that he would need, but Carnage will have none of it, grabbing King by his ankles and pulling him into the middle of the ring, slamming King's knees into the apron hard. While King is concentrating on the pain in his knees, Carnage grabs him by the back of his neck and lifts King up to a vertical position, tossing him with ease into the nearest corner, following this up by driving a hard elbow right into the chest of King! Carnage presses his elbow right into the face of King now, holding it there to cause some serious punishment. "Carnage using his sheer power advantage over The Icon now, and if the match continues in this pattern it's going to be a quick evening for Carnage." Comet states. "Well, once King is free, I'm sure that he'll find a way to get the advantage that he so desperately needs." Riley notes. "Just you wait, I'm still saying that King is going to get the win in this match." Carnage lets his elbow off the face of King at the count of 5, making sure that he's not disqualified for not following the referee's orders, but decides to intimidate the man in the striped shirt anyway by getting right into the referee's face, causing him to fall back onto his rear in fear. Carnage seems to like this reaction, but as soon as he turns back around King is waiting, using the ropes to boost himself up and kick Carnage right into the face. With Carnage taking a few steps back, King gets the chance that he's waiting for, coming off of the ropes and catching Carnage with a floating neckbreaker that manages to bring the big man down onto his back. King wastes no time at all, diving on top of Carnage for the cover. One...Immediate Kick-out by Carnage. "I don't know what King was thinking there, because there's no way that you could take someone the caliber of Carnage out this early in the match." Comet notes. "Like I said, he was looking for any chance that he could to get the win. Doing whatever it takes, including quick attempts at pins!" King locks his arm around the neck of Carnage before Carnage can start rising, holding the 300 plus pound man to the mat with a headlock on the mat, making sure that Carnage does not get back up and is punished just a bit more. However, Carnage continues to struggle as much as he can, moving his hands up to King's arms and trying to slip them between King's arms and his own neck. Using force that he has filled in his body, Carnage manages to break the hold that King has around his neck, and then nails King in the face with a hard elbow shot that knocks him back a bit, allowing him enough time to get back up to his feet. "How in the hell did Carnage do that?" Riley asks. "King had a great hold on him on the mat, and Carnage isn't exactly an amazing technical wrestler!" Carnage and King both get back to their feet at the same time, King rushing in to try to nail Carnage with something, but only gets blasted into the face with a big boot that knocks King right onto the back of his head hard. As soon as King lands, Carnage strikes, grabbing the arm of King and hooking it up into a hammerlock on the mat with one arm, using the other arm to jam onto the side of King's head with some hard elbow shots. Carnage manages to get about 4 elbow shots in, before King starts to shoot out his hips, apparently attempting to use some Amateur style wrestling to escape from the hammerlock that Carnage has him in. Carnage blinks a bit in surprise at seeing someone the size of King moving the way he is, and King manages to get to his feet, taking the arm of Carnage and twisting it up into an armbar now, standing on his feet...but only manages to hold it so long as Carnage uses his free hand to grab a hold of King, lifting him over his head and slamming him down to the mat with a hard press slam! "King with a great reversal set there, but all for naught as Carnage just lifts and dumps him down to the mat...and now drops an elbow right into the prone chest of the Icon!" Comet calls. Riley huffs. "Well, Frisco at the very least is happy about all of this, but Kelly looks like she's just about to have a partial heart-attack on the outside of the ring there." Carnage tries to drop another elbow onto King while he's still down on the mat, but King once again rolls out of the way, rolling to the outside of the ring, throwing his hands to the ring and apparently going to leave. "King's trying to leave...he seems like he wants to get out of here in a hurry!" Comet notes. "So much for doing anything to win, huh Riley?" "I'm sure that Max King has a very good reason for leaving the ring right now...I don't know it at the moment, but I'm sure that he has a good one." King and Kelly get about halfway up the ramp, apparently to leave the ring, but Carnage has aggression that he wants to get out at the moment, so he slides out of the ring and gives chase to the retreating Icon. He grabs King from behind, apparently to grab him and pull him back to the ring, but for his troubles he gets a hard kick right in the "lower extremities." "See, I told you that King had a good reason for going out of the ring!" Riley says. "Max King is one of the smartest men in wrestling today, and you saw right there the very reason he is." "A disgusting display of cheating by Max King, but unfortunately for Carnage and Frisco it apparently was an effective one!" Comet notes. "King now dragging Carnage back to the ringside area...and he just tosses the big man head-first into the steel steps." "You may call it cheating, Comet, but to me it's just evening up the odds against someone that is bigger than you." Riley replies. Back at ringside, King points at Carnage, laughing at the fact that at the moment, he has a complete advantage over the masked maniac, before reaching over and grabbing the head of Carnage and tossing him into the ring. King starts to walk up the ring steps, not in any hurry to get back into the ring, slowly stepping through the ropes and finally starting to stalk Carnage before he can get up, dropping a knee right into the temple of the big man. King leans in, going for a cover in the hope that that's enough for him to get the win. One! TWO...no! Carnage easily kicks out...enough that Max King is pretty much THROWN off of his body as he kicks out. King quickly regroups, and goes back to the on the mat headlock that he had on Carnage earlier in the match, stretching at him now. "That's the way King, keep Carnage down on the mat, that way he can't get up and get another chance to get you beaten up. This is the way to work him." Riley states. "I don't know how right that is, Riley. Wouldn't it be smarter to go after the legs of Carnage so he can't stay on his feet and use some of his more powerful moves." Comet reminds. "...well, now that you mention it, there isn't enough of a brain to worry about the oxygen going to it..." Riley begins. "Oh will you stop!" Comet says in an exasperated manner. King continues to try to wrench away at the neck area of Carnage, but Carnage still shows that he's in the fight, continuing to start getting up to his feet despite having his head slammed into the steel steps on the outside of the ring earlier, managing to get up enough for the mat headlock to be turned into a side headlock...and that allows him the perfect position to start slamming his elbows hard into the gut of King, eventually causing "The Icon" to have to break the headlock. Carnage takes this chance to get behind King, wrapping his hands around King's waist to hit him with a German Suplex, but King reaches back and jams his fingers right into the eyes of Carnage. With Carnage holding his eyes now, King grabs one of the legs of Carnage and whips him down to the mat by it! "Dirty tactics by Max King still, and now he's going for the legs of Carnage while he had the chance." Comet notes. "That's why King is one of the smartest men in wrestling today...why get hit with a hard move like the German Suplex from a guy like Carnage when there's an easy chance to escape it?" Riley notes. While having Carnage down on the mat, King starts to work on the leg, kicking in the quad muscle as well as the knee area, before pulling the leg into a spinning toe-hold to wrench away. "It seems like King heard your advice out here, Comet...and now look at him take those wheels out from under Carnage. This is the chance that King was waiting for, I'm sure." "Maybe now I should stop giving suggestions for King's offense." Comet notes. King loosens up the spinning toe-hold that he has on Carnage, but only so he can pull away at the leg a bit more and tighten it up even further than before. Carnage's primal scream is heard through the bars of his mask while he's down on the mat for the moment, a very unpleasant sound to hear from a guy that size and that mental stability. King only continues to tighten on the spinning toehold, hearing that it has the effect that he so desires for the moment. Deciding that the spinning toehold isn't enough, King adjusts his arms a bit, getting ready to turn Carnage over...and he manages to lock him up into a textbook Texas Cloverleaf! "The Icon has the Cloverleaf on Carnage! Look at how tightly he's got that Cloverleaf hooked up right now, Comet! I'm sure that Carnage is only moments away from tapping out in the middle of the ring!" Riley exclaims. "I don't know if 'submit' is a word in Carnage's vocabulary right now, but if King keeps this hold on long enough he could simply pass out from the pain and that would be enough for King to get the victory in the match that he so desires at the moment." Comet notes. The camera cuts to a shot of Carnage's face...and the eyes are squinted tightly shut, showing that he is in pain right now and can feel every bit of it. King continues to pull away, trying as best he can to keep Carnage in the middle of the ring so he can hold onto this move without having to break it. However, his effort is soon shown to be a futile one, as Carnage uses all his strength to pull himself...and in essence King...towards the ropes. "Carnage is only inches away from the ring ropes Riley, and he only has to grab it to get relief from that hold that he has locked onto him!" Comet states. "He's not going to get to the ropes...no way, no how!" But despite Riley's claim, Carnage DOES grab onto the rope, the crowd cheering at the fact that King isn't going to get the submission victory over the Freak. King waits till the 4 count is laid down, and finally lets go of the hold. "King had to break the hold since Carnage got to the ropes, but it's very apparent by the look in Carnage's eyes that the damage has been done." Comet notes. "And that's exactly the plan that King was looking for...now how easy will it be for Carnage to try to get some of his bigger moves in on King." Riley notes. King smiles, reaching to the legs of Carnage, knowing that they're a lot weaker than they were before, starting to pull Carnage into them to continue the punishment...but Carnage reaches up and manages to grab the hair of King and pulls him into the ring ropes, causing King to guillotine himself onto the ropes and down onto the mat! "King is down! Carnage is down! This is not a good situation!" Comet notes...as the referee begins to lay down a count on the two downed competitors. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! King starts to stir a bit, holding his neck a bit at the guillotine, but still managing to get back up. Carnage is trying to get up as well, but it's harder for him due to his legs being weakened by King as they were. King manages to get up first, and starts to make a move towards Carnage before he can get completely up, but as he gets close enough Carnage catches King in the breadbasket with a hard right hand, knocking the wind for the moment out of King and allowing Carnage to, while wobbly so, get up to his feet. Carnage takes a couple of steps back, hitting the ropes as he does, and blasts King with a clothesline...but collapses himself as his legs can't hold out for very long after hitting that move on King. "What did I tell you, Comet? How many times would someone like Carnage be able to follow up a move like that with something even bigger?" Riley notes. "King's work on Carnage's legs was just the advantage that "The Icon" needed, and it's worked to perfection!" "Only for the moment, Carnage has amazing resilience and endurance, and it may take more than just some weak legs to keep him down for the count." "Maybe, maybe not Comet. Doesn't look too good for Carnage if you ask me!" Riley notes. While King rolls over onto his stomach a few seconds after being hit with the clothesline, Carnage goes to a sitting position on the mat, and starts to pound on his own legs now. "...what the hell is this psychopath doing?" Riley questions. "Why would he purposely pound away at his own legs?" "I think I know what he's doing...he may be smarter than we think...he might just be trying to pound some life into them, get the numbness out of them." "...I think you're confusing Carnage with another psychotic masked wrestler, Comet." Carnage continues to beat a bit into his own legs, while King gets up to his feet after a bit of effort on the other side of the ring. Seeing Carnage in the perfect position, King goes off of the ropes, rolling over him and pulling his neck towards his chest while Carnage is distracted with his own legs. "Rolling Neck Snap by Max King! Shades of the late Curt Hennig right there." Comet notes. "And now King going over for the cover, this surprise move could do it!" One! TWO...no! Carnage kicks out, and he looks angry. Despite whatever pain that he might have in his legs at the moment, Carnage still goes to get up to his feet, King getting up a little faster than he is though. King dives down, apparently going to clip the legs of Carnage out from under him, but Carnage smartly drops down right onto King's back as he sprawls his own legs out of the reach of "The Icon", making sure to drive an elbow right into the spinal area of King! Carnage gets back to his feet again, reaching down as he does and grabbing King but the gut...lifting him off the mat but having to continually adjust his legs so he doesn't lose his balance. He starts to pull, apparently trying a gut-wrench style suplex onto King...but the legs give out on Carnage just as he's starting to lift him...turning it into a modified version of a DDT as he collapses. "GAH! ...maybe working on the legs of Carnage WASN'T that good of an idea!" Riley says, worried as King's face just splats into the mat. "It's making Carnage do more dangerous moves unwillingly." "You do know that would have been a gut-wrench Suplex or Tilt-A-Whirl Slam if he didn't have his legs worked over, right Riley?" Comet questions. "Perhaps, but King's got a strong back...his face isn't..." Riley quits his statement as Carnage looks back to see King still down, thinking that may have worked to his advantage. Carnage rolls King over, attempting to pin him... ONE! TWO! King gets a shoulder up as the referee raises his hand after the two. "WHEW! That was a very close one, if you ask me!" Riley states. "King was possibly out of it there, but he still had the drive to continue on!" Carnage is breathing hard in the ring, not by being too out of it, but apparently to get just the right amount of adrenaline to get back up to his feet, King still down on the mat from being planted right on his face and holding his nose in pain. Carnage sees King turn over on the mat now, and that's apparently the moment that he was waiting for, as he quickly (especially for a man his size and stature) reaches down and grabs the head of King, lifting him up vertically...and drops him down right on the top of his head with a piledriver! "That's one of Max King's trademarks!" Riley protests. "How DARE Carnage steal one of the trade..." "It wasn't a jumping piledriver, Riley...it was just a regular piledriver!" Comet reminds. "Carnage has things going just his way, but he's not going for the cover...that could be a big mistake..." "Of course it's a mistake...look at Frisco DEMANDING that Carnage cover King while he's down and apparently out." Riley states. Carnage nods softly, and reaches down to lift King up once again, getting him once again into an upside-down vertical position...this time with his body facing him! "It's Tombstone Time, Riley! Carnage ready to drop King right on his head once again, and if King is hit with this, there's..." Before Comet can finish his statement, the camera cuts over to Kelly, who is standing right where Carnage has King lifted up into the set up position for the Tombstone, and sees that Kelly grabs the ankle of Carnage and pulls with every muscle in her shapely body. Carnage actually falls forward, not hitting King with the Tombstone but instead a modified version of the powerslam...and also causing King's foot to hit the referee right into the face and knocking him down. "YES! That's the way to do it, Kelly! BEAUTIFUL move by Kelly Connelly out there!" Riley notes "Kelly Connelly cheating on behalf of Max King, and that move took the referee out of this match as well! And Carnage knows full well that Kelly was behind what just happened there, and he's going to confront her about it!" Comet calls. Kelly blinks at seeing Carnage starting to step out of the ring and go to pursue her, and she starts to take a few steps back. However, waiting right behind her is Frisco, and now Kelly is back to chest with Carnage's manager. Frisco doesn't even wait for her to turn around as he grabs her arms and holds her in place for Carnage! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! "The crowd wants Carnage to get his revenge on Kelly for costing him a chance there, and Frisco is being cheered for the first time I think EVER in his career!" Comet calls. Carnage rushes in, ready to hit Kelly with a boot right to her perfect face, but Kelly manages to duck right out of the way in time, Carnage's massive foot nailing his own manager right into the face! "WHEW! That was too close for Kelly "The Queen" right there!" Riley states. "And now she's smartly making her way away from the ring now, making sure that Carnage doesn't get another chance to try and assault her!" "That also makes it so Kelly won't get involved anytime soon in the match...and Carnage better stop worrying about Frisco on the outside and instead worry about Max King..." The camera cuts back over to King while Carnage continues to check on Frisco, showing the Icon sliding out of the ring while the referee is still down and grabbing a steel chair from under the ring, before sliding back into the ring in the same position that he was in just a few seconds ago. Frisco, while not completely back into it on the outside of the ring, pats Carnage on the back...as if to say 'Don't worry about me, go back into the ring and finish the match!' Carnage takes his advice, sliding into the ring, and stalking King while he's down. He grabs King by the back of his neck, lifting him up just a bit... *CRACK!* ...and gets blasted HARD into the face by a perfectly placed chair-shot by Max King. King quickly tosses the evidence out of the ring (coincidentally right on top of the still prone form of Frisco on the outside of the ring), and leans on for the cover on top of Carnage while he's still down. It takes a little effort, but the referee finally manages to get over to where the two combatants are. One TWO THRE...NO! Carnage not only shoots up one off his arms off of the canvas, but makes sure that he grabs Max King right by the throat, the Icon have a look of MAJOR surprise on his face. "THAT'S A CHOKE! THAT'S A CHOKE THAT CARNAGE HAS ON KING!" Riley protests. "Someone wake up the referee, damn it!" "Carnage turning the tables on "The Icon", despite being blasted in the face with the chair like he was just a few seconds ago!" Comet notes. "Now he's got King almost right where he wants him...and Carnage is getting back up to his feet!" "...he MUST be taking the same thing Kibigami did in the past!" Riley states. "No way he could have taken what King gave him without them!" Carnage manages to finally get completely up to his feet, squeezing with all of his might on the throat of Max King, lifting him UP.... ... ... AND DROPPING HIM DOWN with a hard choke-slam! "Carnage dropping King full force onto the mat...it almost looks like there's going to be a dent in the ring after that! But he's not going for the cover...this could be a big mistake by Carnage once again." Comet states Carnage looks out to the crowd, and just nods as he grabs Max King once again, lifting him up off of the mat. He scoops King up, apparently ready to drop him down to the mat with the Tombstone once again. "Come on Kelly, get back to the ring, your man is in trouble!" Riley calls. "Carnage has King set up...it's time for the tombstone, and there's nothing anyone can..." Suddenly, and without warning, King lets one of his arms drop down, and as a desperation act swings it right between Carnage's legs with a hard punch to the lower extremeties. Carnage's arms loosen up around King, and that's just what "The Icon" was waiting for, doing something NEVER seen before by him: A hurricanrana...flipping Carnage over and down onto the mat! With Carnage down and reeling, King quickly hooks up the legs of Carnage, grabbing the tights as well as putting his feet up onto the ropes as he hooks up the pin...the referee just noticing the shoulders down. ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!!! *DING, DING, DING!* "Superstar" starts blaring over the speakers again, and King quickly rolls out of the ring, seeing that Carnage has a wide eyed, angry look on his face. The referee quickly rolls out of the ring and raises the hand of King...as Kelly goes over to join The Icon. Funyon: Here is your winner..."The Icon" Max King! "King stole that victory from Carnage!" Comet starts to protest. "A low blow, followed by feet on the ropes and holding the tights to get the win? What kind of wrestler is Max King?" "A SMART one, Comet! He told me that he would do whatever it took to win this match, and he did it to perfection! And now you know that King is still in the hunt, and whatever title he goes after in the near future...that champion better be ready for the skills of "The Icon!"" King and Kelly hug each other tightly on the rampway, loving the fact that they got one over on a former Number 1 Contender, and quickly make their exit as they see the raged look in the eyes of Carnage. The camera zooms in on that expression before fading out to commercial.
  20. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    (The Meadowlands in bustling South Orange, New Jersey have been invaded by the SWF. The fans are ecstatic as the camera pans through the throngs of fanatics. The camera gets down to the announcer’s table where Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley sit side-by-side). “Welcome back loyal SWF citizens! I am Cyclone Comet joined by my sidekick, Robert Riley, and this is Smarkdown!” Comet proclaims. “Sidekick... since when am I your sidekick? Has Comet been hitting the crack pipe of justice?” Riley asks. “Robert Ryan Riley! How dare you even accuse me of touching such a vile substance!” Comet shoots back. He puffs his chest out and pouts. Riley rolls his eyes and says, “Anyway since the crack-head crusader is trying to calm down we’re back.” He shuffles through his untouched schedule program and glances. “So right now we have Daniel Dagda versus Manson in a hardcore match.” Comet can’t take his monotone partner any longer. “Yes that’s right we do!” “Mood swings… just like crack-heads when they’re coming down,” Riley snickers. Comet swiftly knocks over Riley’s coffee mug and the hot coffee spills all over his partner’s crotch. Bobby yelps and Cyclone smiles. “We’ve pitted the obnoxious Danny Dagda versus the raging Manson!” Riley whines, “Man I got these off the discount rack at Macys too!” Funyon’s booming voice cuts in. “This match is scheduled for one fall and there are no rules!” The fans roar in approval as they imagine the two superstars getting torn limb from limb. The lights slowly dim and strobe lights of all colors flash around the Meadowlands while “Crusher Destroyer” blares! The crowd boos loudly in their blatant disapproval as Manson emerges from backstage. The intimidating Manson wears his usual attire of blue jeans, black boots, the right metal knee brace, shirtless to show off his impressive physique, and white taping that wraps up to his elbows. He stomps down towards the ring as the New Jersey fans continue to pour the jeers out. “Hailing from Denver, Colorado… weighing in at 235… MMMMAAANNNNNSSSOOONNN!” Funyon yells out to the fans. He hits ringside and pauses before getting into the ring. A sadistic grin spreads across his face and he walks over to the nearest employee, demanding them to get up from their chair. He grabs the chair and folds it up rolling into the ring. He stands up in center of the ring with the chair held in one hand, dangling down. “Poor Matthew Kivell,” Comet says. “Poor Danny Dagda, Manson’s already going for the kill!” Riley sputters. The violent guitar riffs of “Tearing Everybody Down” by Anti-Flag kicks up and it shatters the silence! Unusually cheers explode from the crowd. The reaction floors Cyclone. “How dare they cheer Citizen Dagda?” “Hey how often do we come to New Jersey? Hardly ever, with good reason, and this is Dagda’s turf,” Riley says. Four bursts of red pyrotechnics explode and then it’s followed by red sparks that cascade from the SmarkTron and creates a blanket. Danny Dagda comes strutting out and right through the shower of sparks. He’s just shaking his head and pointing out Manson, hollering out insults as he comes down to the ring. “Danny Dagda seems focused,” Comet says. “Next from Newark, New Jersey… weighing in at 275 pounds… DDDAAANNNNYY DAAAGGGDDA!” Funyon announces as it causes more cheers. Dagda disregards the crowd and just has a cocky smirk smile as he approaches ringside. He takes his sweet time to ascend up the steel steps and step over the top rope into the ring as if taunting Manson with superior height. “This match up is a bit interesting because both are brawlers but Dagda has the advantage in weight and height,” Comet tells the fans. He steps towards Manson and Matthew Kivell stands in between the two, glancing at both men who seem ready to brawl. Manson suddenly breaks into a sprint with the chair hoisted high into the air! “Manson is definitely wasting no time in his assault!” Comet yells. “Please, Manson would see a grandmother as fair game; Dagda’s no difference here- just another person to hurt. Then Manson’s just a cocky smear to Dagda,” Riley explains. Matthew Kivell leaps out of the way and signals for the bell. DING! DING! DING! Manson suddenly jerks the chair down and instead takes a baseball bat swing to Dagda’s ribs! He connects and it the sound of the steel nailing Dagda’s ribs echoes throughout the Meadowlands. Danny winces and tries to put his arms up in defense but his opponent already has the chair crashing towards his head! It smacks against the New Jersey native’s cranium and he reels back against the turnbuckle. Dropping the steel chair Manson grabs the arm of his slumped opponent and tries to send him whipping towards the opposite turnbuckle. But Danny uses his strength and momentum to turn the tables and send Manson rocketing into the corner! He smacks it against it and stumbles out right into Dagda’s path. The New Jersey homeboy does a cocky strut at the last few steps before lunging out with a clothesline that floors Manson! “Huge clothesline by Dagda to take advantage early in the match,” Comet says. Instead of following up Danny decides to turn around and head for the steel chair. He takes his sweet time and snatches the weapon up, turning back around. Manson gets to one knee and stands up then cautiously approaches Dagda who wields the chair. He tries to throw out a kick but he hits nothing but air. This lets Danny take a swing with the chair but Manson quickly ducks under. He lifts the chair above his head but his opponent drills him back with a shoulder barge. Dagda drops the chair and stumbles back which lets Manson drill a palm strike into Dagda’s chest. He follows up with a leaping roundhouse kick and that sends Dagda staggering back even more. He throws out another kick but this time Danny catches it and he tosses Manson to the mat. His opponent rolls right back up and the two collide into a grapple for the first time. The two jockey for their position and a knee to Dagda’s gut lets Manson snag the headlock. He drops down for the basic DDT but Dagda slips his head away. Manson hits the mat but bounces right back up, into the clutches of his opponent! He scoops Manson upside down for the scoop slam but he takes two huge steps forwards first- throwing Manson right onto the chair! He quickly goes for the cover. ONE! Manson kicks out and Dagda grabs his long hair, tugging him to his feet. He shoves him back to get distance and floors him with a haymaker! But the pugnacious Manson just gets right back to his feet and catches his opponent off guard with a leaping tackle! The two tangle up and reel back before falling to the mat, Manson in prime position. He sits on Danny’s chest and begins to send right hands straight to Danny’s face! “Well there goes Dagda’s pretty face,” Riley says. Comet clears his throat and lets a chuckle slip. “What? Not secure enough to admit he’s scrumptious?” Riley snaps. The sickening thuds continue until Dagda begins to strike back. The two exchange punches before Manson falls over and Danny quickly scrambles over and behind Manson. He tries to get to his feet but Dagda quickly snatches him from behind with a waistlock. He stands to his feet and quickly sends him smacking down with a backdrop suplex! But Manson still just rolls right back to his feet as if nothing happened. Danny lets a look of surprise and frustration slip before he lunges out at his opponent! He tries to grab his opponent but Manson fires off a European uppercut, and then a powerful right hook to Dagda’s exposed ribs! He then gets closer, kneeing Dagda in the gut and turns to his side- hitting an elbow strike to his chest. He then completely turns his back to Dagda and throws out a mule kick that makes his opponent reel towards the ropes! Dagda hits the ropes and flops over, spilling to the outside. “Danny falls to the outside and Manson follows after as he slides to the outside,” Comet does the play-by-play. Dagda struggles to get to his feet before Manson attacks but the attempt is useless- Manson snags his opponent and sends him right back against the cold cement with an axe handle. He begins to stomp on Dagda’s back who flops over and takes a stomp right to the rib. But at the next stomp he clutches Manson’s boot and shoves up hard, sending Manson falling to his back. The two scramble to their feet and both get up, only to engage in a slew of punches! Furious lefts and rights are exchanged before Dagda gets the upper hand by blocking a right and nailing a headbutt! Manson reels back and Danny swoops down and picks up Manson just heaving him into the air then letting him smack chest first into the guard rail. He smacks against the steel barricade and wheezes for air but the merciless Dagda just grabs him and tugs him back, smacking into the ring apron! He grabs the back of Manson’s head and tries to send him on a collision course with the barricade. But Manson throws out his hands and stops the move, wrestling his arm up and snatching Dagda’s head. He quickly introduces Dagda’s forehead to the guardrail with one swift movement! Fans jeer as Manson tugs Dagda’s head back up and smacks it down again. He lets go and lets Danny fall to one knee, only to nail a swift kick to Dagda’s temple! He sways and Manson grabs his arm and tugs him back to his feet. He keeps clutching the arm and sends him whipping right towards the ring steps! Dagda can’t stop himself as he smacks back first into the stairs as they dislodge into two bulk pieces. He gets to his feet but Manson sprints forwards and hits a high knee that sends Dagda rocketing backwards, arms flailing! Manson grabs one of the steel steps and runs at Dagda, tossing the steel step over Dagda’s head. “You missed, buddy,” Riley snickers. But Manson’s got a plan as he wraps his arms around Danny in a spinebuster and smacks him right into the unforgiving, cold steel! Dagda rolls off and Manson makes the cover! ONE! TWO! Dagda gets the shoulder up. Manson doesn’t seem surprised as he tugs Dagda up and side steps behind him. He locks in a waistlock! “Not a good idea by Manson with the German suplex attempt because Dagda’s size could provide quite a challenge!” Comet points out. Danny Dagda counters with an elbow strike so stiff and powerful that even Danny Williams would grimace. He quickly continues with the strikes until Manson nearly crumbles from the blow. Instead just shoves Dagda forcefully away to give himself time to recover. Danny Dagda regains control of his speed near the other barricade as Manson is on one knee leaning against the barricade for support. Dagda sees his chance to take advantage of the stipulation and he begins to fish underneath the ring! With a smirk he begins to pull out a table which he slides into the ring. He then stands up and rolls into the ring, snatching the table and setting it up by the turnbuckle. He leans back and giving his obnoxious panache uses his thumb and forefinger to see if the picture is ‘square.’ He strokes his non-existent goatee before he rolls back out with a laugh. “Well as long as he amuses himself,” Riley says with a shrug. He glances over to his side to see Manson wielding a kendo stick! Panicking Dagda dives back underneath the ring, desperate to grab anything to ward off the charging Manson! His face looks perplexed as he snags something but time is of the essence. He pulls it out to reveal a plastic Nerf toy with pump-handle that shoots foam missiles. Making the best of a bad situation Dagda begins to pump away as flimsy missiles fly left and right and as Manson draws closer Danny pumps harder. The Meadowlands is roaring in laughter and even Dagda can’t help but to laugh as he just desperately throws the toy at Manson- which somehow nails him straight in the face! His charge stops and this time Danny Dagda charges and nails an elbow on Manson’s chin! He drops the kendo stick and Dagda wastes no time in grabbing the back of Manson’s head and going for the bulldog! Manson’s head collides with the steel steps! He slowly rolls off the stairs and flops onto his back, a gash in his forehead made by the steel. The crowd has a real desire for bloodlust as they watch Dagda just stomp directly onto the gash to make it even worse! Then as if he stepped into dog’s feces he lifts up his shoe, gives a look of disgust, and wipes his foot against the cement. “God this guy is great!” Riley says laughing hard. “If great means disrespectful than yes, he certainly is great,” Comet counters. Danny grabs Manson and tugs him back to his feet, rolling him into the ring. He slides in also and then stands up; staring at the table he set up earlier. With a cocky strut he walks over and makes some adjustments. He then grabs Manson and scoops him up then slaps his hand across Manson’s throat, hand on his back, a lift into the air and then a powerful slam! Manson bounces off the canvas from the chokeslam and his is lifted right back up then rolled onto the table! “He’s looking to go to the turnbuckle!” Riley shrieks. He then walks over to the turnbuckle and licks his pointer finger then holds it up to the imaginary wind. Then he vaults onto the top turnbuckle as Manson slowly begins to stir. Danny Dagda, to the roar of approval from his home state crowd, stands on top of the turnbuckle. He stares down at the vulnerable and disoriented Manson who lies helplessly on the table in center of the ring. “This isn’t a smart move by Dagda. He’s going to humiliate Manson instead of just trying to snatch the win,” Comet says. He pauses and fishes into his pants pocket, pulling out a package of cigarettes and a Zippo lighter. As if he has all the time in the world he fishes out a cancer stick and puts it to his lips, putting away the pack and lighting the cigarette. The crowd laughs and cheers on Dagda. Cyclone Comet is appalled. “Now I know for a fact that at the entrance to this building that there’s a no smoking sign!” “Oh come on, it’s New Jersey- the whole state is practically an ash tray!” Riley snickers. Dagda takes a long drag of the cigarette and blows it into the air. He takes another shorter puff before exhaling and bending down, snubbing it out on the metal ring post. “You know he should really try the patch or at least gum…” Riley says. With a big smirk Dagda bends his knees and leaps out- taking flight! “Wow! Here comes a huge frog splash from Dagda coming up, 275 pounds crashing towards Manson!” Cyclone cries. The fans all scream in cheers and a few light bulbs flash as Dagda sails down and directly onto Manson! The table crushes under the weight and wood fragments go flying through the air as the two find themselves on the mat. Dagda lies on top of Manson for the pin! ONE! TWO! But Manson gets the shoulder up. Dagda gives an apathetic shrug before standing back up, wishing he still had that cigarette. “Dagda doesn’t seem to mind the fact he couldn’t get the pin but all that showboating could’ve been avoided and maybe this match would be up,” Comet says. He stands to his feet and drags Manson up also, using his foot to casually brush out the wooden pieces to the outside. He stares across the ring at the table leaning against the turnbuckle with the bottom leg supporting it. Manson throws a sloppy hook and it connects, whipping Dagda’s head to the side. The persistent Manson tries to overcome the pain and he nails a stomp right to Dagda’s kneecap followed by a dropkick! The two fall to the canvas and pant heavily. “Manson showing a world class performance and already looking for the comeback!” Comet says. “Yeah it’s not easy to take wood,” Riley says. Even Comet has to snicker. Manson slowly gets to his feet and Dagda begins to get up also. But Manson beats him to his feet. The two stand and the shaken Manson throws out a jab. But his opponent catches the jab and tries to whip it away! Then Manson begins to whip him around and reverse the role for the Irish whip! Dagda is able to stop himself at the opposite turnbuckle then comes charging towards Manson! Manson then charges right back at them as the two come charging towards each other as if they were two trains on the same collision course. But Manson lunges out and throws out his leg- Only to nail Dagda in between the legs! The crowd goes absolute crazy in their jeers as he stops dead in his track with a face of pure pain. Manson allows the smile to crawl across his face again. He stands triumphantly and stares at Dagda who’s grimacing at the pain of the miniature Yakuza Kick delivered to his jewels. Manson follows up with a kick to the side of Dagda’s ribs then knees him hard in the gut. He doubles over and gasps for air. The fans all cry out in disbelief as Manson has halted Dagda’s momentum with one of his own signature moves! He quickly wraps his arms around Danny’s midsection and begins to lift his opponent into the air. He sets up the powerbomb perfectly and Dagda shows no resistance as Manson steps forwards and then releases! He falls straight onto his upper back and his legs go flying up into the air like in a slapstick comedy. Manson fumes and stands there with a confident grin as he watches Dagda try to get to his feet. “He nails the power bomb after halting Dagda with his own cheap shot specialty- the Tear Down!” Comet proclaims. Like a hunter patiently awaiting his prey to fall into his trap Manson stands there, letting the fresh blood fall off from the dip of his nose. Dagda flops over to his stomach and shakily gets to his feet, swaying as he stands up tall. Even after the impact move he still has a confident smirk on his face and he stares at his foe. Manson lunges out and nails a perfect knee that makes the achy Dagda double over. He then leaps out and wraps one arm around Danny going for his finisher, the Consequences! But instead of instantly going for it Manson gets caught up in the moment and with a smirk he begins to take the step to complete the move… “Consequences, the diamond cutter, that’s Manson’s finisher right here!” Comet cries. DAG-DA! DAG-DA! DAG-DA! “Wow, not often you hear that,” Riley says. Manson just shakes his head at the crowd and surges forwards going for his finisher! But Danny Dagda pushes Manson off and sends him hitting chest first into the ropes! From the momentum Danny falls to one knee but quickly gets back to his feet. “But Dagda shoves Manson into the ropes, this match will go on!” Comet screams over the crowd’s thankful cheers. Danny steps forwards and clutches Manson from behind then locks in the sleeper hold! The fans cry out for Dagda’s lesser known finisher, the sleeper hold. “Take a Hint has been locked on!” Comet cries. “Danny’s going to try to choke Manson out of this match. Dagda begins to hum a lullaby but la-la land is shattered as Manson begins to fight back! But Danny is determined and squeezes harder as Manson thrashes about. “Manson better make good use of his struggle because soon it’ll just be sapping the energy out of his gas tank!” Comet proclaims. “You’re only making it worse on yourself!” Dagda’s voice rings out as he tries to squeeze even harder with the hold. Manson’s frantic struggling slowly begins to show a definite decrease in energy as his head begins to bob up and down. The crowd continues to put forth their support of Danny Dagda as Manson’s efforts begin to cease. “Well after a great bout it looks like this one is over,” Comet says. But Manson makes one last valiant attempt to free himself as he clutches the back of Dagda’s neck and simply drops to his knees- hitting an awkward, impromptu jawbreaker! Danny Dagda bounces onto the mat and onto his feet as Manson gasps to regulate his breathing. He gets to one knee and looks up at Danny who stands there swaying due to the move’s impact. Manson sees his chance as he gets to his feet and forces himself to press forward with a spear! But Dagda snaps back into reality and side steps casually! Manson falls to the canvas but he does a forward roll before getting right back to his feet. He turns around only to see Dagda’s head smack into his! He reels back and Danny clutches him then hits a hard knee to the gut. Manson naturally doubles over and Dagda quickly locks in the waistlock and hoists him up as if going for the powerbomb! But instead he lays his opponent’s back across his shoulder, letting Manson’s exposed upper body dangle down dangerously towards the canvas. Danny Dagda pauses and everybody watches a huge grin creep across his face. He forces his aching muscles to leap into the air and lets Manson slide down, spiking his head first down to the mat with the Deflation! The impact of the move makes the ring tremble and the sound vibrates against the arena’s walls. “Deflation! Danny Dagda has hit his finisher!” Comet cries out. Danny Dagda doesn’t showboat or waste time, he simply flops over and hooks a leg for the cover! ONE! TWO! “Yes this is it!” Riley shrieks. THREE! DING! DING! DING! “YOUR WINNER VIA PINFALL… DDDDAANNNNYYYYYYY DDDAAGGGGDDDAAA!” Funyon proclaims. “Danny Dagda snatches a huge win after a terrific match! But don’t go away folks!” Comet yells. “Tearing Everybody Down” by Anti-Flag plays and the New Jersey crowd again bursts into cheers as Danny just rolls out of the ring. He begins to walk up the ramp past the carnage he’s left behind with a confident, cocky smirk on his face- just the way he entered. *Fade to Black*
  21. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    “WHY!? Blackwell had Maddix done and dusted, he wasn’t getting up, he DECIMATED him with that Brainbuster! WHY would he break up the pin to lock in the Narcosynthesis…?” “That’s how much Maddix has pushed him to the limit. He’s matched him at every turn, and now Sacred needs to know for sure, he needs to secure the victory with the move his brother used to claim the European championship…” "Landon...I got the coffees..." Megan Skye calls out. But she gets no responce. All she hears are the muffled voices of Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley from behind the door she stands at. "Sacred has the hold sinched in Robert! The dream may be closing on Landon Maddix as the ropes are just too far away!" "Landon?" "It's got to be over Comet..." "But LOOK! Maddix is crawling for the ropes! How is he doing this!?!" "Landon?" Megan calls out again, slowly opening the dressing room door and finding the room cloaked in darkness. All except for the one light source. The T.V set Landon Maddix is sat staring intently at. "This crowd is rallying behind the Grand Slam Champion..." "It won't do him any good Comet! Sacred knows exactly how to apply this hold. You know the damage his brother did with this hold." "But Maddix still won't quit!" "Landon...what are you..." "I GIVE UP!" *DING! DING! DING!* “IT’S OVER! IT’S ALL OVER! Landon Maddix, after ten straight victories, two Junior League titles and the pain no one would ever wish upon anyone as finally given up! I thought for sure he could pull this out, but I guess it was not to be…” *PHFFFT* Suddenly the screen goes static. Maddix's head is held in his hands now as the remote control flies across the room. Looking on with the coffees in her hands, Megan places them down on the coffee table in front of her, looking on nervously...not knowing what to say. She knows exactly what Maddix was watching. She knows exactly what he's feeling, having had to watch the exact same match on a monitor on February 1st herself. Looking up finally, Maddix lets out a sigh and stands up, walking silently around the sofa and flicking back on the light...and for some reason, he's smiling. Although it seems considerably forced. "Landon...are, you okay?" "Fine!" chuckles Landon, with a little too much insistance. "I'm fine. I was just...scouting for the Cold Front final, that's all. Did you get the coffee?" "Yeah. You don't look okay..." "I said I'm fine!" Megan turns away as Maddix realises the tone in his voice, sighing to himself. Walking over, he sits down next to Megan, who is still standing, staring at the static screen. "Megan...I'm okay, honestly. Look, I had to watch it sooner or later. Now...the coffee?" "You realise that if you wanted to talk about anything..." "What's there to talk about? That was then, this is now. I was just a kid then. You know, 'riding on the crest of a wave'...all cocky, confident, concieted. I lost and that's that. But that was then, this is now. It's fine. Really." Sighing, Megan doesn't seem so sure, but knows she'll get nothing out of Maddix so gives up and passes him his coffee. Maddix quickly takes the plastic lid off and peeks inside, more for something to do than anything, as a frosty silence fills the air. "So..." begins Maddix, trying to break the silence. "...any word on challengers for that belt of yours yet?" "I don't think so. I've no idea if Annie and Andrea is around or not, Kelly and Jet both hate me but haven't asked for a title shot yet." "Still...it'll make a nice book end I suppose." "Yeah." Once again the silence creep over the room and both Maddix and Megan clearly feel pretty awkward. Maddix resorts to whistling to try and break the silence but soon gives up, standing back up and sighing. "Coffee's cold. I'll go and get another." "Well, mine's alright. You can have this one if yo..." "No, no. I could do with the walk." Maddix stammers as he quickly makes his exit, leaving Megan alone in the room. Quickly she checks that the close is clear, before gathering up the remote once more and pressing play. “The winner of this match via Submission and the… N E W! UNIFIED UNITED STATES AND JUNIOR LEAGUE CHAMPION… SAAACCCRRREEEDDDD!” “Well, he did it! The cowardly, craven convict finally did it! He has defeated Landon Maddix to capture the titles and unify them, marking another page in history! But god, I can’t go on without congratulating Landon Maddix, who, even with a bad neck coming INTO this match, went the whole nine yards and even further for his dream, and for that, I applaud hi...” Pausing the video on the bleeding Sacred as he looks down at Maddix, moments before he would ultimately help the youngster up to his feet, Megan stops for a moment before rewinding the tape a little way... “WHY!? Blackwell had Maddix done and dusted, he wasn’t getting up, he DECIMATED him with that Brainbuster!” Cyclone cries out in vain. “WHY would he break up the pin to lock in the Narcosynthesis…?” “That’s how much Maddix has pushed him to the limit,” replies Riley, simply but perfectly put. “He’s matched him at every turn, and now Sacred needs to know for sure, he needs to secure the victory with the move his brother use..." Pausing again, Megan is now leaning towards the screen, obviously noticing something interesting as the shot is locked on Sacred pulling back on the Narcosynthesis. Maddix face is contorted in mid-scream. But it isn't that which is catching Megan's attention obviously, as she continues to stare for a moment... ...and then smiles. "...perfect."
  22. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    “Welcome back to SWF SMARRRRRRRRKDOWN!” starts Comet. “We are LIVE, LIVE, LIVE at THE MEADOWLANDS!” “Cold words from a cold man, huh, Comet?” asks Riley. “Toxxic has always been a cold man, Robert,” starts Comet, “But let us focus on our first match of the night! The SWF Cruiserweight Championship will be on the line as Revolution Zero’s Spike Jenkins defends against the number one contender, Kaine!” “It is totally unfair for Spike to defend the title after that brutal ladder match against Landon Maddix on Lockdown! But it is genius of Kaine to take the title shot when his opponent is at his weakest.” “A little back history here, folks. Kaine won the number one contendership by defeating his current tag team partner, Austin Sly, back November 17th on Lockdown. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins, just hitting his 50th day as champion tonight, won the title against Ryan Dustin on October 18th; Spike is ready to hold onto that title for as long as he can! Will he be able to retain tonight?” “I think so, Comet,” says Bobby, “Spike has so much more experience than the up-and-coming rookie, Kaine!” “Kaine, only at the age of 20 has a few years experience wrestling in Germany under his belt. But 22-year-old Spike Jenkins has been around the SWF for so long. Both men are nearly identical in style and even on some occasions, Kaine has been called the next Spike Jenkins! It really will become a Veteran vs. Rookie match tonight!” The fans sit on their Asses but applaud as Funyon enters the ring. With a microphone in one hand and a index card in the other, he begins to start his job for the night. “Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is schedule for one fall and is for the SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!” Funyon breaths to let the applause quiet down, “First, making his way to the ring…The Challenger!” Just then the soft, melodic opening to “Feuer Frei” by Rammstein starts up. After about 10 seconds the song begins to start up and from the back appears the youngster Kaine. Quickly, he glances out around the arena, pointing to several dozen fans in the arena that hold his old “BEWARE OF FALLING OBJECTS” shirt up high in the air. “Making his way to the ring. Hailing from Kassel, Germany! Weighing in at a total of One Hundred and Ninety-One pounds…accompanied by Samuel Dobbson…he is “The Untouchable” KAINE!!!!!!!! As the youngster continues down the aisle to the ring, he reaches over to slap hands with several fans at ringside, but at the last second he pulls his hand back causing the fans to hit nothing but air, causing the youngster to start laughing at them for trying, receiving several middle fingers from the fans for his antics. Quickly Kaine slides into the ring and begins to prance confidently around the ring like he’s already won the match. “Coming to the ring at this time…THE CHAMPION!” The crashing guitars of Lamb of God’s “Black Label” suddenly break the excited murmuring of the crowd and boos begin to rain down, while the intro picks up pace... “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The high-pitched scream heralds the arrival of the challenger, the SWF Cruiserweight Champion himself, Spike Jenkins. With his face covered by the hood of his black Snapcase “End Transmission” hoodie, Spike stops on the center of the stage and drops to a knee. Out behind him follows Jet, as Spike's arms lock into the straight edge "X". “The Champ is Here, Comet!” “Hailing from Hollywood, California. Weighing in at a total of Two Hundred and Twenty-Five pounds…accompanied to the ring by Jet and representing Revolution Zero…He is the current reigning and defending SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION! HE IS “HOLLYWOOD” SPIKE JENKINS!!!!” Spike rolls into and across the ring, reaching the center and re-assuming his knelt position for a moment. Jet watches on from the outside meanwhile, as Spike stands up and pulls down his hood before again flashing the "X" to the crowd. He unstraps the title from around his waist and hands it to the referee. The referee holds it in the air and the crowd pops for the Cruiserweight title. “And this match is underway!” *Ding Ding Ding* Kaine charges out of the corner…into a boot to the gut by Spike. He drags the youngster to the middle of the ring and into a standing head scissors. Spike double underhooks Kaine’s arms, a slight grin forming across his face… “OH GOD NO! NOT THIS!” cries Comet. “He isn’t going for…what I think he is going for…” Spike arches his back as he pulls Kaine up into the air. Once in the air, Spike turns underneath Kaine, holding him on his shoulders in a reverse Death Valley Driver position… …AND DROPS HIM ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD, FOLDING HIM IN HALF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING WITH A FUCKING I JUST BROKE YOUR NECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “THE I JUST BROKE YOUR NECK!!!!” screams Comet. “Oh man…oh man…oh man…” Riley repeats in a daze. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” On the outside of the ring, Samwise jumps around in fear for his brother. Jet, on the other hand, stands there with her eyes wide open and jaw dropped to the floor. Inside the ring, Spike easily turns over is unconscious opponent, placing one hand on his chest for the cover. ONE! TWO! THEREISNOWAYHEISKICKINGOUT-THREE! *Ding Ding Ding* Spike climbs to his feet, accomplished at taking his anger out on Kaine. “Black Label” starts up again, as the crowd starts a “SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS!” chant. “How angry could Spike Jenkins have been to use the I Just Broke Your Neck against Kaine,” asks Riley? “Spike lost his shot at the ICTV Championship and a shot at the World Title against Landon Maddix in the semi-finals of the Cold Front Classic. Not to mention, the man he despises, his own stable mate, Sacred, is in the finals and will face Landon for the World Title shot.” Explains Comet. “I do not want to be caught in the way of that emotional roller coaster. That’s for sure.” Spike is handed the Cruiserweight title, which he holds into the air. A sly grin across his face that resembles the grin of one man… …The SWF World Heavyweight Champion, Toxxic. [FADE]
  23. Chuck Woolery

    SWF Smarkdown, 12-6-04!

    FIVE... FOUR... THREE... TWO... ONE... *BANG! BANG! BANG! BUH-BUH-BUH-BOOOM!!* SWF Smarkdown is live in the Meadowlands, and as the cameras sweep around they pass over thousands upon thousands of screaming fans who have all turned up with the hope of seeing their favourite SWF superstars batter and bend each other into interesting pretzel shapes in the name of sports entertainment. Among the heaving throng various signs can be seen including ‘TOXXIC DRINKS IN MY BAR’, ‘ANDREA AMZ TEH COOLZ!’ and ‘MUCH MORE MADDIX!’. “Good evening Citizens, and welcome to SWF Smarkdown!” a familiar heroic voice booms. “I’m CYYYYYYCLOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE COMET-” “-and I’m wishing very hard for my annual leave to come around,” Bobby Riley mutters, “can you quit the yelling and run down the card?” “Stop being such a spoilsport Bobbo,” Comet sniffs, adjusting his mask, “but since you asked so nicely I will, just this once. First up tonight we have-” But Comet is interrupted by the crashing opening chord of ‘Rookie’ by Boy Sets Fire, which rings out over the Meadowlands and generates an instant response from the SWF faithful in attendance. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Smarktron has turned completely white, but it swiftly darkens to black and as it does so jagged white letters flash up a familiar slogan: ‘PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG...’ The guitar riff starts and the Smarktron screen changes again to show a spiky black-haired head that raises and grins out at the arena, then cuts to various clips of the Straight-Edge Sensation’s matches. Finally it changes to Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table as four blasts of pyro climb the ramp, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the stagewide eruption of yet more red pyro- *BANG-BANG-BANG-bap-BOOOM!!* -that announces the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger! Toxxic strides through the cloud of smoke generated by the explosion with the World Title slung over his right shoulder and his girlfriend Jet at his side. The Straight-Edge Sensation pauses at the top of the ramp for a moment to look around at the jeering crowd, then starts to make his way towards the ring. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon booms, “making his way to the ring; the SWF WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPION... the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” Toxxic rolls under the bottom rope into the ring, then throws his arms wide- *BOOOM!* -to send another blast of pyro skywards from the top of each buckle. However the World Champion quickly snatches the microphone from Funyon and signals for his music to be cut out. “You don’t like me, I don’t like you,” Toxxic says as the crowd jeers and tries to drown him out, “and the quicker you let me say my piece the quicker I’ll be gone.” Surprisingly this seems to work, and the crowd quietens down. “Right,” Toxxic begins, caught slightly off-guard by the fans’ obedience. “I’m here to talk to one man in particular, and that man is not on the card for tonight. In fact he might not even be here tonight, I haven’t been looking around backstage to find out. “That man is Landon Maddix.” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “MAD-DIX!” *clap-clap-clap* “MAD-DIX!” *clap-clap-clap* “Landon, I’m sure you can guess the reason I’m talking to you,” Toxxic says, hefting the World Title on his shoulder, “you’re one of two men who might be facing me for this belt at the Christmas PPV. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you’re going to beat Sacred... but I can talk to Sacred anytime, whereas if I come up to you backstage I can imagine things might get a little... tense.” “And well they might,” Comet agrees with some conviction, “as any right-thinking person would take exception to this disgrace of a human being!” “Landon, I sometimes look at our respective careers and wonder why things went the way they did,” Toxxic muses. “You’re a cheating bastard, and people love you. I never break the rules, and people hate me. You joined the Unnamed, learned from Charlie Matthews, John Duran and Va’aiga - briefly - while I forged ahead on my own. And yet, while I was taking on the Unholy Trinity and winning, you were hanging around tagging with Todd Royal, never getting anywhere much and being choked out by Spike Jenkins. Which,” Toxxic adds with a wry grin, “is something that hasn’t happened nearly often enough.” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “See Landon, the main difference here appears to be that when it came down to it, you sucked up to Mark Stevens and I kicked his arse and told him where to stick it,” Toxxic concludes. “It all goes back to the moment that I told Stevens to go screw himself, and much later when you came out to prevent me from hitting him in the head with a chair. Strange how those small decisions can change your life. My disgust at the way Stevens was talking to me fuelled my rise through the federation, whereas you got onto his team at Genesis and pinned Flesher to win the match; don’t tell me that didn’t make you as a star, because it did.” “And that’s being generous,” Riley mutters. “So now we seem to be on a collision course,” Toxxic continues, “assuming you get past Sacred, that is. The holders of the two most prestigious singles titles in the SWF. But I just want to remind you, Landon, who it is you’re dealing with. I know you’ve got no shortage of self-confidence, but you need to remember some things: Mainly, that you’re just a poor imitation of me.” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “What a disgraceful comment,” Comet splutters as Toxxic grins at the hostile response these words receive from the Meadowlands, “Landon Maddix is twice the man Toxxic is!” “Maybe, but is he twice the wrestler?” Riley asks. “That’s what counts, after all.” “You may hold the record for the most overall days with the ICTV title, but you’re forgetting that I beat you to it,” Toxxic states. “I’d won that belt twice while you were messing around with the USJL. You went back-and-forth for ages with Johnny Dangerous and Alan Clark - I sent them packing with one match. You may have pinned Flesher in the Genesis six-man,” the straight-edger concedes, “but I’ve beaten him one-on-one. Tonight, I get the chance to become Tag Team Champion - something that was always just out of your reach when you were teaming with Todd Royal. I hope you’re watching, wherever you are, and I hope you think about what it means if I manage it. But there’s one more thing I want you to think about, and that’s what I told Mike Van Siclen before I ended his career: “If you get past Sacred and beat me for the title, I’m not going to go away. I won’t disappear like our other world champs. I will hang around, and I’ll come gunning for you to get this title back. Landon, when it comes down to it you should know that you can never really beat me... you can just put off losing for a little while longer.” With that Toxxic drops the microphone in the middle of the ring and rolls under the ropes, then heads up the entrance ramp with the shouts of the Meadowlands crowd in his ears. “A challenge of no uncertain menace laid down by our villainous World Champion,” Comet exclaims, “let’s see how his stablemate and Cruiserweight Champion Spike Jenkins fares... NEXT!” FADE OUT
  24. Chuck Woolery

    TNA Notes from Meltz

    He looks like Rich from the first Survivor if he'd had a thicker beard.
  25. Chuck Woolery

    kkk NFL Pick 'em -- Week 13

    I demand new power rankings. Preferably ones that don't list me or NoCalMike as "Bottom of the Barrel" teams, if that's possible.
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