Chuck Woolery

... your point being?

After repeating it so damn much, I firmly believe that it was Muggy that got the Sox this world series. I'd also like to express gratitude to Lowe, Pedro and Fat Curt, who pitched like the excellent rotation they were advertised as. Foulke, for closing all four games. Manny, Damon... This was just incredible, man. It would mean so much more if I'd been watching longer, but even right now... it's so awesome.

It's all because of Muggy. Seriously, though, Pedro showed up today and I couldn't be more thrilled. I know McCarver said not to blame Suppan, but I've never listened to McCarver before and you've got to figure that that took a lot of wind out of the Cardinals' sails. They gave Pedro an opening and he took it and ran, and I was thoroughly impressed. They should have given Foulke the night off and I can see that biting us in the ass, but all in all we got the job done and it's only one more to go.

Pfft. NaNoWri10Da is where it's at.

Has St. Louis released who's doing the national anthem/seventh inning stretch yet? I'm banking on Nelly being there at least once... Also, since Muggy's admitted that he's a curse the Sox are 5-0, and if this keeps up, 6-0. We appreciate it, Muggy.

Simple poll, people. Answer yes only if you have plans set in absolute stone for Twas The Fight. Thank you.

Tennessee: KC/BUF/CHI/NYG/JAX/PHI/SD/STL/TEN/NYJ/GB/OAK/SEA/DEN/17

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF STORM, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22ND, LIVE FROM THE ST. PETERSBURG TIMES ARENA IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA! (5:00pm PDT, 8:00pm EDT; check local listings) Send marked matches, promos, etc. to Thoth! The SWF invades Tampa Bay, because it's not like the Lightning are going to be using that arena this year! We saw some huge upsets on Smarkdown, and people are FEASTING for this show! It's the last show before the SWF Halloween Spectacular, so just what the hell will happen? Let's find out! MAIN EVENT NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH Toxxic (SWF Heavyweight Champion) v. Alan Clark -> Alan Clark? ... Alan Clark? Well, it looks like it is indeed Alan Clark, that Toxxic has been "watching swing from psycho hippie to fun-lovin’ rock ‘n’ roller to Bloodshed or Apostle or whichever other half-arsed persona you wanted to be at that moment in time." And now, like TSM's very own Mr. Rant, Toxxic appears ready to do some hippie-bashing... but the shadow of Nathaniel Kibagami looms heavy over this match, and one has to wonder if he'll play a part in the outcome. Rules: Standard singles affair. Word Limit: 6000 Marker: 5_moves_of_doom MAIN EVENT IN SPIRIT SWF WOMENS' CHAMPIONSHIP FOUR CORNERS MATCH Kelly Connelly (SWF Womens' Champion) w/"The Icon" Max King (SWF Intercontinental-Television Champion) v. Ebony v. Annie Eclectic v. Megan Skye w/Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix -> Am I a dick for booking this match? I hope not. Kelly proclaimed herself womens' champion a little while back, and CC decided that hey, she can't be womens' champion and not defend the belt, can she? So tonight, Kelly gets the woman she said was unfit to wear the Womens' championship, Megan Skye, and the master of the nutshot no-show match, Ebony. One has to wonder if Ebony will alter her game plan at all for this match. Why is Annie Eclectic here? Well, Ebony got involved with her match with Jamie Drazon, and she naturally wants some revenge. What will happen when three women and a female ferret step into a wrestling ring? Lesbian four-way part two, duh! Max and Landon, I don't know if you have stats up for Kelly and Megan, but you might want to get some up. Rules: Standard womens' match rules, two persons in the ring at a time. First pinfall wins it. Word Limit: 4500 Marker: realitycheck NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH Team ANGER (David Cross and Christian Fury, SWF Tag Team Champions) v. Stryke and Jamie Drazon -> Drazon is probably dead. Stryke is Stryke, so he's probably dead, to the fed at least. And Cross and Fury are the Tag champs. So, uh, what better to do than randomly team up Stryke and JD and see if they'll actually write against Cross and Fury? As an incentive of some sort, Stryke and JD will get a tag title shot if they win here. But come on, it's Stryke and JD, what are the odds of that happening? Rules: Standard tag match affair. Use the tag ropes, I guess. Word Limit: 5000 Marker: Chuck Woolery MIAMI MAYHEM Andrea Montgomery v. Longdogger Pete w/Ian -> Word on the streets is that Andrea Montgomery is pissed about not being in the Womens' title match. Actually, it's not, but any excuse for me to bring that match up again will be used. Bad jokes aside, since we're in Miami, LDP and his toddler son are making a one-night-only return to fight Andrea, who is coming off the debut of her new valet, brother Zutroy Montgomery. ... what the fuck kind of name is Zutroy? Anyway, yeah, this card needed some ZING~... so here's your fucking zing. Rules: Match will start on Miami Beach, first person to throw their opponent into the Atlantic Ocean wins. Word Limit: 5000 Marker: Chuck Woolery HARDCORE MATCH SWF HARDCORE GAMERS' CHAMPIONSHIP Carnage (SWF Hardcore Gamers' Champion) v. Austin Sly -> Carnage pulled out a huge and controversial victory over Sean Davis on Smarkdown. As a result of the injuries suffered in that match, Davis has the show off, but the WICKED get no rest, as Carnage will put his belt on the line against Austin Sly, coming off an impressive job managing Ryan Dustin in a Cruiserweight championship match. Austin's managerial skills have earned him a shot here, and if it isn't already obvious that this match description was supposed to go to another match it should be now. Carnage is looking to cement himself as a hardcore wunderkind, and a W here could go a long way in doing so. Rules: No rules. Word Limit: 5250 Marker: Suicide King SINGLES MATCH Manson v. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins (SWF Cruiserweight Champion) -> So, yeah. This is, uh, a match, I guess. Manson requested, don't ask me why, but Spike is the Cruiser champion so he'll probably do something flighty or something. Rules: You know the rules by now. Word Limit: 4500 Marker: Suicide King THE OPENING MATCH SWF CANADIAN CHAMPIONSHIP Ace Lezaire (SWF Canadian Champion) v. "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez -> Eh, so my memory's going, but if I remember correctly, Spike and Todd agreed prior to their contendership tag bout that the pinfall scorer would get the ICTV title shot. Well, that was Spike, and he'll likely get his shot on Lockdown, but for right now Ace Lezaire has no booking and Todd Cortez is looking to cash in on his own title shot. Lezaire is a two-time Canadian champion, while for all of Cortez's tag glory, he's never held a singles' title. What are the odds on that changing? Rules: Standard singles' affair. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: Thoth

We have yet to lose since Muggy said this, for the record. I believe in the Curse of Muggy.

We'll say firs pin only, Max, if only because it takes away some of Annie's kayfabe advantage.

So, uh, yeah. ... yeah. Let's see if we can do a tad bit better for Storm, can we?

SWF Smarkdown!! It’s back, bitches!! Not that it really went anywhere. Hell, it’s not even returning from a commercial break. Say, let’s just start over. SWF Smarkdown is on the air, again! Maybe that’s what the ‘back’ meant. It’s back from when it was last on TV. Okay, third try is a charm. SWF Smarkdown is back from not being on TV for a week, bitches! Some might say that’s just when it’s scheduled to appear, but to those people, we call them Communists and say “Fuck off, Commie bastard!” and we shoot them in the face with a cruise missile. Teach those fucking commies with their tri-corner hats and fuel-efficient motor-bikes. “Hello fans! It’s SWF Smarkdown!” Comet shouts. He’s on the Zoloft so he don’t kill us motherfuckers. Seriously, he’s got a court order that says he’s got to take a bottle of pills thirty minutes prior to each and every SWF event. He’s a buck wild motherfucker. “Would you put it to rest, Comet? Give those morons with their idiot boxes some credit. They should be able to figure out what they’re watching,” Riley says. Interesting fact about Bobby: He was abused by a badger when he was nine, and since then, he’s been on a quest to kill the University of Wisconsin football team. Oh, and he may or may not be gay. Your call on that one. I mean, it’s tough to tell one way or the other. But we are sure that a few weeks after his ninth birthday, he was sexually fondled by an irate honey badger. Probably a commie badger. Fuckin’ commies subverting the badgers of this great nation. Before Comet can make a heavily drugged comment, the lights dim. Add the fact that nothing is scheduled with Comet’s doped-up brain, and you’ve got a guy in a cape that’s pretty fucked in the head. He’s pretty close to ripping out Riley’s throat and wearing his lips as a bow tie. So no sudden movements. That idea is completely shot as a huge explosion of pyro slams into the stage, and Comet reaches for the knitting needle in his boot. You have the right to laugh once you take a needle to the eye. Yeah, I thought so. The opening notes of No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” wafts over the speakers as the lights come back on. Riley takes a glance to his side, which prompts Comet to quickly conceal the needle. “BORT!” Comet says. “Frampton,” replies Bobby. “Concord grapes are bastards. They ran over my goat and stole my U-boat,” Comet adds. “You know, this makes no sense, Comet. Andrea Montgomery lost the match and isn’t even booked, so why is she out here? Shouldn’t World champion Toxxic be out here to speak?” Riley asks. “I think she’s here because someone in management is a giant moron, or a horse shoe crab. Those fucking things are scary. One of them raped my uncle Jane and then burned his taco-hut. I fucking hate horse shoe crabs!” Comet exclaims. Andrea walks down the ramp, and to spice things up, punches a tiny baby in the eye. The infant shrieks in pain, but Drea simply shrugs and mutters, “Little bitch. Can’t even take a decent punch. Just wait till Davis punches you. Bitch.” She’s kooky, folks! Andrea slides into the ring, but instead of asking for a microphone, she pulls a chunk of beef jerky from a pocket and begins chewing. And chewing. Andrea pauses in mid-mastication and asks for a stick of tomato licorice, which Funyon always keeps handy. She finishes her snack and asks for a microphone. She gets three tossed to her, one of which she catches, one of which she dodges, but the third smacks her in the face. As feedback ripples through the arena, a spurt of blood rains down on the front row. Drea simply pinches her nose, stanching the blood. “Hey folks. I usually don’t come out here to speak, as I like to think my in-ring action speaks for itself. True, I’m in the ring now, but I mean wrestling-wise. However, if you’ve been paying attention, you might have noticed that said action hasn’t been very good. Now, what is something that the opponents that have beaten me have that I don’t?” Drea asks. “Talent! Commitment!” shouts a poorly drawn coach before he’s beaten to death with cans of Red Bull. “Wrong, currently dead guy! Someone at ringside to provide moral support, and occasionally, assistance! That’s why I scoured the earth for a former SWF superstar to bring in to help. Then I remembered that Divefire is stuck in a tank of brine in England. So, I went with option number two, until somebody reminded me that Mr. Galatea is dead. Then someone else said that he got a new body, but he wasn’t really a ‘superstar’ so I had that person killed. I think he was a communist. Anyway, I considered getting McCheese, but nobody’s seen him since he mentioned that he wasn’t that big a fan of Rush. Then again, that most likely makes him a commie, so screw him. Then I was all like, ‘Duh! You know a former superstar. Well, sort of superstar!’. I’m of course, talking about the one, the only...” EL BOOM-O!!! An explosification hits the stage, and shrapnel goes flying. One kid from the Make-A-Wish foundation takes a hunk in the eye. Fucker should have wished for a force field. Anyway, “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns ‘n’ Roses hits, causing at least nine hundred people to shit their pants. As the smoke clears from the explosion, the smoke and fog machines are turned on because the SWF is all “Sucks to your ass-mar, Piggy!” then they kill him by shoving the conch up his ass, only it’s got seven hermit crabs living inside it, so they crawl through his body and eat his brain. “Could it be? Is Neilsen of the Jungle returning? Again?!” Comet exclaims. “I hope it’s only to punch Andrea in the face and not has her advisor!” Riley shouts while reaching for his Treasure Trolls to comfort himself. As the smoke and fog, or ‘smog’ continues to pour in, “Welcome to the Jungle” plays through completely, only to start back up again. After a second play, the song stops and the smog starts to dissipate. “Zutroy Montgomery!” Andrea shouts, confusing everyone, as they were focused on the entrance area and had forgotten that she was in the ring talking. Zutroy, known to some as the G.O.A.T. appears from behind the curtain seated on a Hoveround power wheelchair. He flies down the ramp but stops abruptly at the ring, as he’s got no way of climbing the steps. Andrea simply slides under the ring so as to better speak with her brother. “See folks, what better person to give you support than your brother?” Andrea says. “You’re still going to lose. Because you suck and you don’t have that winner’s instinct!” Zutroy exclaims as he begins to pull an empty whiskey bottle from a side pouch. "Also, my lumbago is acting up. I need ointments. My pancreas is inflamed. Damn you, dairy council!" “What my very surly sibling means is that he’ll be with me all the way, and other cliched things,” Andrea says. The duo heads back up the ramp, with Andrea simply walking forward while Zutroy is forced to execute an embarrassing twelve-point turn. “Well, folks. There you have it! Andrea Montgomery has brought in her brother, Zutroy to help out. Even though he doesn’t seem to be able to walk, but he looks like he can still punch things. Nothing wrong with that,” Comet says. “I find it disturbing and a threat to freedom!” Riley exclaims as he vigorously strokes his Treasure Troll. Dear lord, let it be the damn wild-haired Troll. And Smarkdown fades to a commercial for the Saturday Night Live Best of Ron Wilson DVD. Wilson was the saxophone player from 1987 - 1991.

A click is heard and light streams into the dingy, musty room. Jamie Drazon stands inside the Arrowhead Pond's boiler room swinging around a sock filled with something heavy at the bottom. Ladders, chairs, large tools, wire, and other assorted bits are strewn around the area. Cheering from the crowd can faintly be heard even this deep inside the bowels of the stadium. The hardcore maniac looks around cautiously, yelling out to try and smoke out if his opponent has already taken up residence inside the room. "Come out come out wherever you are!" exclaims Drazon, "You can't hide forever, you crazy dyke bitch!" The camera follows Jay Dawg as Comet and Riley take their cue to talk over the screaming, for FCC purposes. "Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown! We were about to introduce our main event match, but it may start any minute now!" starts Comet, "So I will try to make this as quick as possible." "We all wish you good luck with that," sneers Riley. "Thank you Bobby," says Comet, oblivious to his partner's comments, "With a show filled with Baldwins, high profile matches, and title shots... we could only top it off with a Boiler Room Brawl! Two upstanding citzens of the league, Jamie Drazon and the recently returned Ann Onita, will start out in the Arrowhead boiler room..." Drazon creeps over to a pile of assorted wooden boards leaned against one of the walls. He holds his blackjack back and swings it into the hidden space between the wood and concrete. The pile clatters to the ground, revealing nothing but dead air behind it. "...eventually. They will start the brawl there and work their way through the arena towards the ringside area...." The scene cuts to the ring, where Funyon stands dead in the center, holding a blue ribbon. "...and attempt to reach our upstanding announcer man, Citizen Funyon! The first fighter to reach Funyon and take the ribbon from his hand wins! See Robert? That was quick, was it not." "Supersonic." Back inside the boiler room, Drazon looks back and forth as he circles the perimeter. Unable to find any other hiding spots, he heads back towards the door with a confused look on his face. The Hardcore Maniac peers out of the Boiler Room... only to have his head snapped back by a tremendous force! Jay Dawg brings a hand to protect his face as he stumbles back inside the Boiler room. A blur of powder blue rushes after him, leaping into the air and grabbing Drazon by the head and spiking him headfirst into the concrete with a bulldog! As Ann Onita rises to her feet, the timekeeper at ringside rings the bell to signal the start of the brawl. "Figures, someone with no balls whatsoever would stoop to a surprise attack," says Riley. "I hardly think Citizen Onita should be looked down upon for using a sneak attack in a no rules match, Robert," counters Comet. Drazon groans as he brings himself up to his knees. His hand instinctively feels the ground and takes ahold of his blackjack again before his face takes another assault, this time from one of the scattered two-by-four planks of wood. The force from the blow brings Jay Dawg to a vertical position on his knees until another baseball swing from Onita's 2x4 drops him face-first to the concrete again. Ann grabs the rest of the wooden planks strewn about the room and piles them on her opponent. Then, without blinking, Ichiban makes a beeline to a ladder hanging off two hooks on the nearby wall. She rips the metal contraption off the hooks and plants it firmly a foot away. Standing in between the ladder and the wall, Onita lanches herself up, planting her feet on the wall behind her at the apex of the jump. Pushing off, Ann launches the ladder and herself towards the fallen Drazon! Jay Dawg can only grunt in pain as the ladder/Onita combination lands squarely on the back of his neck and upper back. Ichiban rolls off the top of the ladder, clutching at her sides in pain from the attack. "If Ann Onita is good for anything," starts Riley, "It's that she'll do anything, including hurting herself, to get at her opponent." "Citizen Ichiban isn't nicknamed the Hardcore Queen for nothing, Robert," says Comet Onita rises to her feet and takes a second to look at her fallen foe. Satisfied with his motionless state, Ann turns on her heels and walks towards the door. Just before she steps out, she hears a clarring of wood and a slow groan. Turning back towards the boiler room Ichiban spies Drazon moving ever so slightly to rise from his position on the ground. Before she could blink, Ann rushes towards the center of the room, flying in the air and dropping a huge elbow on the pile of wood and metal! However, just as she lands the blow, her hip bounces off the corner of the ladder causing Onita to roll off the pile screaming Japanese obscenities at the pain. Ichiban starts to rise to her feet, but her right leg buckles under her and she drops back to her knees. Angry, she bangs at the hurt hip with her fist and wills herself back up to her feet successfully on the second attempt. "Again she hurts herself. I wonder if that's going to come back to hurt her later on in the match, wink wink," says Riley. "Wink wink?" asks Comet. "It's sarcasm, Cyclone. Don't worry your pretty little head about it." Ichiban inspects the mess at her feet, noting satisfaction at Drazon's stillness. To be certain however, she clears the pile off her opponent with her foot until she could see flesh again. Once revealed, the Hardcore Queen starts to viciously kick at the shoulder and ribs of Jamie Drazon with her right foot. The Hardcore Maniac puts up little defense to the strikes, except to slowly roll onto his side, opening up more area on his chest Ichiban to hit. The barrage continues, with Ann's kicks forcing Drazon to slowly roll over, forcing more planks off of him, until he could only curl up into a ball in defense. Satisfied that her opponent wouldn't be chasing after her anytime soon, Ann straightens up and dusts herself off. She steps back onto her right foot... and drops right back down to her knees. She curses again, banging at her hip to try and get her leg to obey orders. "Now now, honey. Don't break yourself because I haven't even had a chance to have you yet," floats an alluring and seductive female voice. Ann's ears perk up and her head snaps to the entrance to the boiler room. Her jaw drops to the floor as she looks at a six foot tall woman. Or, a close approximation, considering the jet black fur covering her body, and what appear to be very VERY sharp claws the the end of her fingers... paws? The ferreasel known as Ebony leans over and licks her lips, making sure to show off her well-endowed chest to the Hardcore Queen. Turning, Ebony slowly walks away, making sure to swing her hips as much as possible in the process. Inside the boiler room, Ann Onita can only stare towards the doorway in complete shock. "Oh no... no," says Riley, "Not her, anything but her... The one reason why Commissioner Zenon should be removed from his position immediatly. I don't know how he got her here, but that damn Ferreasel won't leave damn well enough alone will she?" Ichiban rises to her feet, walking to the door with a slight favor to her right leg for support. She peers out, staring incredulously at the empty space once occupied by Ebony. "Was that a... ferret woman?" she asks to no one in particular An answer comes, but not what she expects as Drazon crashes into her and sandwiches her between the wall and himself. Onita crumples to the ground at the feet of the enraged Jay Dawg. He swings his leg back and drives it into Ann's ribs full force. Breathing heavily, he begins to lay into his opponent both physically and verbally. "BITCH!" *KICK* "HOW" *KICK* "DO" *KICK* "YOU" *KICK* "LIKE" *KICK* "BEING KICKED" *KICK* "WHEN" *KICK* "YOU'RE" *KICK* "DOWN?" *KICK* Dazed by pain, the teary eyed Ichiban grabs at the closest thing in an attempt to get away from the attack. Unfortunatly she grabs at Drazon's ankle, which is ripped from her grasp as the Hardcore Maniac sends another boot right between Ann's breasts. The strike to the heart knocks the wind out of Ichiban, who can only curl up on the ground and soundlessly scream out her pain. Stumbling back into the boiler room, Drazon clears the mess of wood from the metal ladder before grabbing it and rushing back out of the room. With all his force he stabs at Onita with the top of the ladder, only to miss as Ann moves out of the way! Frantically Onita rolls onto her feet and runs away like a drunk in an earthquake. Drazon follows with haste, anger and adrenaline overcoming the pain wracking his body. "The tables have turned for Citizen Onita, and with that hurt leg I have no clue how well she can escape the enraged Hardcore Maniac!" exclaims Comet. "Cause and effect, folks. I called it," says Riley. Ann turns a corner and for the first time in a bit feels some relief. Her gear bag sits in the hallway just where she left it to be silent for a sneak attack. She makes a mad rush for it as Jay Dawg continues to gain ground, ladder in hand. Ichiban makes it to her bag, grabbing a wood bit sticking out of the top in mid step and letting her forward motion pull the Kendo Sword from the bag. She turns on her left foot and swings with all her momentum towards her enemy... who blocks the blow with the ladder! Drazon swings the other end towards Ichiban and crushes her against the concrete wall! The Hardcore Maniac steps back and switches his grip on the ladder so that he holds it from the end. He slowly brings the ladder back as much as the hallway will allow, and takes a Bonds-esque swing towards Ann's head... only to miss and clang against the wall as his enemy drops out of the way. "Another lucky dodge for Citizen Ichiban! Can this be fortelling a comeback?" asks Comet. "No, I'm the only one with foreshadowing rights," says Riley "... How do you get those rights?" asks Comet. "Simple, you join the Fourth Wall club. Makes things much easier. Here, look at my card!" As Riley hands Comet his card, the scene cuts back to the fight. Drazon curses and continues his chase after the scrambling Onita, who realizes that she is in a horrible position. Down the long hallway she sees large equipment cases on wheels. She reaches one and swings it backwards towards Drazon, rushing to the next one down the hall to do the same. Jay Dawg sees the case heading his way, and sidesteps it in stride. The second one comes at an odd angle, forcing him to stop and work his way around it with the ladder in hand. A third and fourth come after, creating a horizontal block The Hardcore Maniac throws the ladder ahead of him and rolls over the cases, picking up the ladder just in time to see Ann turn another corner at the end of the hall. Drazon follows suit... and is BLASTED with a spear to the ground! The ladder clatters harmlessly behind him as his attacker pins his arms to the ground with her knees and starts landing fist after fist to his face. Ichiban turns around at the sound of metal on concrete, and her jaw drops again as she realizes her earlier vision wasn't a hallucination. Tail swinging side to side, Ebony was on top of Jamie Drazon, pounding the everliving crap out of him. "YOU" *PUNCH* "WILL" *PUNCH* "NOT" *PUNCH* "HAVE" *PUNCH* "MY" *PUNCH* "PRIZE!!!" *PUNCH* *PUNCH* *PUNCH* Confused, Ann steps forward to attack, but then couldn't think of who to attack more. Realizing this distraction could help her, Ichiban turned tail and ran as fast as she could towards ringside. A cameraman follows her, as the initial one stays on the beatdown Drazon is recieving. The SmarkTron shows both on a split screen for the fans, as Ichiban makes a mad dash towards victory. Down another hallway, turn a corner and suddenly she was directly backstage to the entrance ramp. Without hesitating she runs through the twists and turns heading to the curtain and bursts through, nearly tripping over her own feet in haste. She takes a second to glance over her shoulder at the SmarkTron, showing Ebony giving Drazon a mudhole stomping to his groin. Ichiban grimaces at the sight, but puts the image out of her mind as she runs to the ring and slides under the bottom rope. Walking up to Funyon, she takes the ribbon from his hand, ending the brawl. DING DING DING "I Get Wet" plays in the Arrowhead Pond, while the audience cheers almost by habit, most still enthralled at the ferreasel laying a beatdown on the Hardcore Maniac. Even Ichiban seems mesmerized with the mystery anthromorphic attacker. "This... is not what I expected from this match," says Riley. "I don't think anyone expected this, Robert," states Comet, who is similarly stunned. "The winner of the Boiler Room Brawl, by... er.." stumbles Funyon, "Well, by Ferreasel Attack... ANN! ICHIBAAAAAAAAAN! ONIIIIIITAAAAA!" Ichiban steps through the ropes and moves over to the steel steps at the corner of the ring. She sits down, rather flustered by the entire match, and puts her head in her hands. "Well Citizens at home," starts Comet, "This has been an... interesting end to a great show! For Robert, this is Cyclone Comet, join us next week for more... Oh no did she just bite him THERE?" "Ow, he's not going to be hitting the clubs after the show, that's for sure," jokes Riley. "Goodnight Citizens... just... goodnight." Copyright Smartmarks Wrestling Federation, 2004 ‘Raising Workrate By Typing Faster’

“You’re sure it was him?” Toxxic asks. “Well, let me see,” Daniel Davis, head of SWF Production says mock-thoughtfully. “Well over six foot tall... long black hair... flame and ankh tattoos on his arms and, oh yeah, the guy that I’ve cued up music and pyro for God knows how many times?” He looks the Straight-Edge Sensation square in the eye. “Yeah, I’d say it was Nathaniel Kibagami.” “OK, you’ve made your point,” Toxxic tells him, turning away and brushing past Marcus and Jet. “C’mon guys, let’s find the others...” “If you hurry you might catch him,” Daniel says, turning back to his workstation. The sudden absence of any noise behind him causes him to look round. Toxxic is staring straight at him. “...what did you say?” the Straight-Edge Sensation asks. “He’s been here? Today?” “Sure,” Daniel answers, confused. “Gave us a tape to play as well. Hey, Jerry,” he calls down the truck, “when are we playing Silent’s package?” “Just coming up now, Dan,” Jerry answers, pressing a large red button. Daniel Davis suddenly finds himself shoved out of the way as Toxxic tries to get a good view of the display... _____________________ In the arena, the crowd suddenly comes alive as a huge, blood-red ankh appears on the Smarktron. There is no music - instead the symbol turns, and as it does so it is replaced by an image, that of Nathaniel Kibagami delivering a Russian Leg Sweep to Toxxic outside the ring. The turning ankh. Kibagami dropping Toxxic with the Fall From Grace. The turning ankh. Kibagami counters Toxxic’s hurricanrana attempt by hooking the Straight-Edge Sensation’s arms, walking to the middle of the ring and dropping down in the Demonstar Driver. The turning ankh. This time, a still frame. A close-up shot of the moment Toxxic’s head makes impact with the mat. The blood-red ankh again, motionless this time, and the Smarktron slowly fading to white... ______________________ Daniel Davis looks to his right. Toxxic is white in the face, and his breath is coming fast. His hands are gripping the edge of the desk so hard that his knuckles are white. Abruptly, the straight-edger stands up and, still staring at the screen, backs towards the door. He absent-mindedly cracks his neck, looks as if he’s about to say something... then spins on his heel and stalks out. Jet and Marcus look at each other for a second, then follow.

Spike and Dustin go to start the match, Rev-0 interrupts, Toxxic and Davis come down and brawl with Todd and Sly. Ref tries to break them up while Spike and Dustin brawl in the ring. Spike low blows Dustin, grabs a chair, goes to hit Dustin. A masked man runs in, hits Spike with the Code Red. Dustin goes to make the cover, Toxx gets in the ring, Toxx hits the Intoxxication on Dustin. Dustin and Spike are both down. Toxxic and the Masked Man are now on back to brawling outside the ring. Spike gets to feet, he grabs the CW title, goes to use it on Dustin. Cortez comes in the ring, grabs the belt from Spike, they pull back and forth on it, Cortez pulls it away. Cortez goes to hit Spike with the belt, Spike ducks, Cortez hits Dustin. Spike throws Cortez out of the ring, the brawling goes to the back and Jet gets the referee to get back into the ring, Spike covers Dustin for the win. After the match, Spike celebrates to the back, Cortez looks angry, Dustin gets up, grabs the mic, challenges Spike to a rematch for the title in a lumberjack match.

We return from commercial break directly to the announce desk and our favorite heterosexual (mostly) lifemates of Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley! Their voices carry over as a graphic of ashes blowing in the wind clouds the screen, revealing two very familiar silhouettes with the words "Ashes 2 Ashes" just behind them. Comet begins, "At Ashes 2 Ashes, a long and storied history will finally come to an end. 'Grand Slam' Mark Stevens and the Suicide King will collide in the most vicious venue possible, Hell in a Cell! It is contractually guaranteed to be Stevens' last match, and his final chance to stop his one-time pupil." "But it is possible that some of our more recent fans may not appreciate the depth and length of this rivalry that has shaped these two men." Riley adds. "For those fans, we will provide retrospectives on each show before A2A to help set the stage!" "King and Mark have met precisely four times before in the ring, although previous to King's heinous betrayal of the Midnight Carnival they tagged together numerous times. This fifth and final meeting will be the tiebreaker, if you will." Comet clears his throat. "The Suicide King won the first two meetings, followed by 'Grand Slam's' wins the next two times. But tonight, we will show you their very first meeting in the squared circle." "Just before the tumultuous Genesis II, a federation wide tournament was held to find people to participate in the first ever Six Pack Challenge Main Event for the World Heavyweight Championship. In the talent packed bracket C, the final match to determine who would advance fell to two life-long friends. Two stablemates. The charismatic but as yet unproven leader of the Midnight Carnival, the King of Hearts... and the battle-tested and multiple-time champion Mark Stevens." "It is hard to believe that these two men were such fast friends, but in retrospect it is easy to see that this match you will see shortly might have been the turning point. Previously the King had spent all his energy organizing and maintaining his brainchild, the Midnight Carnival, while his stablemates went on to title win after title win without him. With his victory here, the seeds must have been planted..." And fade... ----------------------------- As we come back from commercial break we find ourselves in the brightly lit and garishly decorated Midnight Carnival locker room! Grand Slam stands on one side, his leg propped up on a chair as he tightens his knee brace… King stands on the other side, stretching. Edwin stands in the middle with a blender, mixing some manner of bright red girly drink with at least four umbrellas in it. There's a loud knock on the door, breaking the business-like silence that had been present in between whirs of the blender. The King of Hearts answers it, sharing a few unheard words with whoever is on the other side before closing the door and moving over to Stevens… "It's time, Mark," King says. Grand Slam looks up as he clicks the last bit of his knee brace into place. With a nod, he stands. Smiling, Stevens says, "Any last thoughts before I take you to school, King?" King chuckles, "You may have helped train me Mark, but I've picked up a couple of things since then." Mark nods again, approvingly… "Well, tell you what… why don't we go out there, and you can show me some of them? If they're any good, I'll be sure to let your folks know at the parent/teacher conference." "That's big of you Mark." King smirks. "I've already taken the liberty of calling your wife and apologizing in advance for the bad mood you're going to be in after I beat you." Both men break into laughter at that, imagining the dire specter of Mrs. Stevens glaring reproachfully at them… 'Well, I guess that's enough trash talking then." Grand Slam grabs his cap and makes his way to the door. Stopping in front of King, Grand Slam raises two clenched fists… "Let's go out there and give em what they paid for, King… let's burn this mother DOWN!" The two men slam fists together HARD as King lets out a "Damned straight!" United in purpose and well prepared to kick some Carny ass, the two men stride out the open doorway… The door closes behind them, leaving Mac Daddy alone with his blender. "Guys? On your way back could you pick me up a bag of crushed ice and some kiwis?" Edwin looks up confusedly, wondering where everyone went… "Guys?" ------------------------------------- Immediately the camera cuts back to the announce desk, revealing the ever entertaining duo of NTD and his heterosexual lifemate Curry Man! The New York crowd is packed in like rude, noisy sardines behind them, each and every fan pumped up to a fever pitch by the great night of wrestling they've already witnessed!! Curry begins, "Hello, and welcome back to IGNite, coming to you live from a sold out Madison Square Garden!! And what a night it's been thus far, and it's only going to get better! NTD?" "Indeed it is so my spicy companion! Tonight eight people have an opportunity at the richest prize in our business, the IGNWF World Title! We've already seen some of the competitors decided as we watched the biggest of the big battle the baddest of the big when the Hville Thugg battled the perennial fan favorite Axis!" NTD barely manages to squeak out in one breath! "And then," Curry continues, " we were witness to the rebirth of one of the greatest feuds ever to grace our fed, as Neilsen of the Jungle and the one and only Grimedogg threw it down one more time!" NTD follows, "So we now know the identity of two of Wilson's challengers at the Six-Pack match at Genesis II, but two more are yet to be determined! And if those damned caterwauling Carnies have their way both of them will be members of that eternal frat party known as the Midnight Carnival!" "Which of course brings us to our next match!" Curry says, excitement creeping into his voice. "This next bout is something really special folks, as the Carnies' most accomplished member takes on its illustrious leader! Former Champ "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens tangles with the Gambling Man! Now as many of you know, Stevens and the King go way back, all the way back to Shawn Michaels' TWA in fact! It was there that the two men met, and it was there that each man honed his unique style! Stevens, the senior of the two, actually helped train the King!" NTD snorts, "So it's his fault then… in any event, this match should be somewhat entertaining as both men are intimately familiar with all the other's tricks!" "But in the end there can only be one winner, and I think that it will be the Heavy Hitter tonight!" Curry exclaims. "He's hungrier for the title Wilson took from him, and the Suicide King's Cinderella story ends tonight with a less than happy ending!" NTD nods, "I agree Curry! The only real question here is will their friendship survive the match? The whole Anarchy situation has added a lot of tension to their friendship, and it will be interesting to see how the two fan favorites deal with one's win… and the other's loss!!" "Enough speculation for now NTD," Curry interrupts. 'It's time to see which Carny goes on to the big dance!" Funyon stands in the ring, ready to begin his usual introductory spiel…when all the lights go out! A soft female voice whispers, "Midnight Carnival…" and the fans explode!! NTD cries out in indignation, "You've got to be kidding me! They're not even going to bother with separate entrances?!?!?!" The IGNtron flashes blazing white in time to the opening beats of 'Love Rollercoaster", each flash alternating and revealing lettering spelling "Step Right Up." As the guitar begins to play three blue laser lights begin to trace their way around the entire arena, revealing fans in various stages of cheering and celebration… As the words "rollercoaster of love," echo through the arena for the first time, the laser lights flare out into a blue haze across the entrance ramp as Grand Slam and the King of Hearts step out under the IGNtron!!! Curry yells out over the music, "Well, I'd say that it looks like their friendship is doing ok, wouldn't you NTD?" KoH pumps the crowd up, bobbing his head to the music and raising his fists high into the air! On the other side of the ramp the fans have noticed that Stevens wears a Yankees' ballcap tonight and respond accordingly… smiling, the Heavy Hitter removes his hat and throws it into the crowd!! Just then the refrain to the Carnival entrance song arrives, plunging the arena back into darkness as purple strobe lights tear through the house and the blue laser lights spiral wildly, illuminating Stevens and the King in funky staccato bursts as they make their way toward the ring!! The only thing clearly visible in the miasma of light and shadow is the IGNtron, playing half-second clips of classic maneuvers from all the Carnies… "Sweet Jesus, shoot me now," NTD is heard to remark, followed by several seconds of static and struggle… muttered comments are heard, such as "Get off me!" and "Why the hell did you bring a gun?" and of course "I was only kidding! DON'T KILL ME!" The two men enter the ring as their entrance ends and once again the only sound is that of cheering fans… the ref goes to caution both men, who respond with smiles and nods. The ref smiles back, thankful that he'll have an easy match to officiate… he goes to signal for the bell as Stevens removes his jacket and the King removes his vest… DING DING DING!!!! "It's go time!" Curry exclaims! "Prepare yourself for an honest-to-God wrestling match folks!" The two men look at each other across the ring and nod. Simultaneously they make their way to the middle of the canvas as the fans begin to pick up in volume… King smirks a little and says something the mics don't quite pick up, but Stevens nods. King reaches out his hand and the two men share a firm handshake!! "This wrestling match," NTD quips, "Will it be beginning after the lovefest in the ring, or sometime later?" Grand Slam and the King separate once again and begin to circle each other warily… arms raised they run together, but King ducks under the Heavy Hitter's outstretched arms, spinning around him and cinching in a rear waistlock! Grand Slam throws an elbow back to dislodge KoH's grip, but the King ducks it… that momentary distraction was all he needed however as Stevens muscles out of the King's grip and spins in place as well, locking a rear waistlock of his own on the Gambling Man! Quickly taking him up and over with an amateur wrestling belly-to-back takedown, Stevens powers King to the mat… only to have the agile King land on his knees! King reaches back for the snapmare, but Stevens pushes him away before King can get a grip. Standing, the two men once again circle each other… rushing together again, this time the Heavy Hitter gains an immediate advantage with tight side headlock! Wrenching it in, Grand Slam pulls the King up and over again, dropping him to the mat and retaining that tight, tight noose around his neck… King struggles for several seconds before kicking his legs free! The King's legs instantly wrap around Grand Slam's neck, cutting off the flow of oxygen… again both men break their respective holds and roll to their feet, this time accompanied by the praise of an appreciative crowd!! "Boy, this crowd will cheer anything Curry!" NTD notes sarcastically. Again both men run together… this time Stevens changes the pace with a quick kneelift to the wrapped up KoH! Grand Slam grabs a hold of an arm, spinning in place into a classic arm wrench. KoH slaps his shoulder in pain, trying with all his might to escape the hold… and Grand Slam wrenches the arm down HARD, driving the Gambling Man to his knees! Stevens raises the King up by the arm again, preparing for a repeat performance.. but the King drops to his knees early, sending his good arm up between the Heavy Hitter's legs and sending him to the mat with a lightning quick fireman's carry! KoH stays on the larger man, forcing him back to his feet and locking in a nasty hammerlock… that Grand Slam successfully spins out of! Stevens fires a quick toe kick to the gut of the Suicide King before locking in a front facelock… only to be wrapped up in a small package! 1… 2… Grand Slam shifts his weight, changing the hold and pinning the King's shoulders down! 1… 2… KoH rolls through as the ref's hand comes down, releasing the hold…. Grand Slam maintains his front facelock, raising the King up again for who knows what, but this time his legs are swept out form under him by the speedy arms of the King! KoH flips through, hooking both legs on the way down! 1… 2… No! Grand Slam is far too cagey for that! With a single flex of his powerful leg muscles the Heavy Hitter sends KoH's shoulders to the mat, covering his arms in a sit-out position! 1… 2… No! A quick leg scissors by the King to Steven's face distracts him just long enough for KoH to force his weight downward, reversing the hold and pinning the Heavy Hitter's shoulders down! 1… 2… Stevens barely kicks out, but that doesn't stop the King… maintaining a firm hold on Mark's legs, the more agile King again rolls through, attempting another pin, this time the entire weight of his body resting on Mark's legs!! The Heavy Hitter encircles his arms around the King's waist as the ref counts… 1… 2… NO! The Heavy Hitter kicks his legs free, and his shoulders lift off the canvas as he bridges up, taking the King up with him via the waistlock! The King is entirely at Steven's mercy as the arch grows larger… and larger… until finally both men are on their feet, albeit with spines bent like bowstrings! The King spins through to escape, only to find himself spinning with Mark in the same direction, carried around twice… the Heavy Hitter uses King's own momentum against him as he spins him through, grabbing a hold under the King's arms and backsliding him down to the mat!! 1… 2… No! The King spasms his entire body to get free, just winning loose of Stevens' hold! Both men are finally free of any grapple of the other as they roll wearily to their feet, accompanied by the roar of an appreciative crowd!! "What the hell are they cheering for?" an incredulous NTD asks. "Pure unfettered wrestling is what!" Curry responds. 'These New Yorkers came out for a match to remember, and so far the skills and knowledge of these two men is delivering! What a pinning display shown by these two friends!" The two men get back to their feet, both smiling… Stevens treats the King to some light applause as the Gambling Man responds with a thumbs up, nodding his head and commenting on some maneuver of Mark's that he apparently approves of! Grand Slam shrugs, smiling, before raising his arms again… King sighs and prepares to rejoin the dance!! Once more the men lock up, this time it's quite clear that neither intends to put on a clinic… Steven's quickly gains the advantage, whipping KoH into the ropes… bounce back and the King leapfrogs over the lowered head of the Heavy Hitter! Across the ring a once more and KoH just leaps over Grand Slam as he drops to the canvas! Bounce back one more time, and Stevens catches the King, twisting him in the air to deliver the tilt-a-whirl slam! But once again King's legs save him as they reach over and grab Stevens by the neck, throwing the larger man down to the mat with a headscissor takedown! KoH leaps back to his feet, allowing himself a moment of rejoicing as Grand Slam gets back to his feet… KoH bounces off the ropes again, leaping into the air in some manner of Lou Thesz press… only to be caught in the muscular arms of Grand Slam! Spinning 180° the Heavy Hitter slams the Gambling Man down into the mat with a brutal spinebuster!! The King bounces off the mat like a superball, instantly sitting up and grasping his lower back in pain! "About bloody time one of them got an impact move off," NTD whines. Grand Slam is taking no chances… grabbing the King by his blond locks he fires him into the ropes! Bounce back and Stevens lifts the King up into the air, before bringing him down again with a vicious sidewalk slam! The Heavy Hitter reaches over to hook the leg… 1… 2… No! KoH thrusts a shoulder up mere moments after the two count, determined not to let it go this easily! Grand Slam sighs slightly, returning to his feet… locking in another front facelock, the Heavy Hitter spins KoH in place before dropping to the mat, nailing the King with a falling neckbreaker! "Ooftah! Grand Slam in clear control at this point, using his superior technical wrestling to pick apart the corpse of the Suicide King!' Curry yells. Stevens again gets to his feet, locking in another front facelock, this time throwing the King's arm over his head a swell… one quick lift later and the King is thrown to the mat with a beautiful snap suplex! Grand Slam maintains the hold and rolls it over, lifting the King upright again… and plowing him back into the canvas one more time!!! 'The King can't take much more of this!" Curry notes. Again Stevens rolls it over, lifting the limp carcass of the Gambling Man slowly back up to his feet… gritting his teeth he raises KoH into the air…FLOATOVER BY KING! The King of Hearts lands weakly on the other side, hooking the Heavy Hitter's arm in a half-nelson and grapevining the leg… "He going for the Jokers Wild!! Jokers Wild out of nowhere!!" Curry screams as the fans explode as well… AND THE GAMBLING MAN DRIVES GRAND SLAM'S FACE INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE JOKERS WILD!!! Stevens bounces off the mat, flipping over from the impact… and the King of Hearts goes for the pin, weakly hooking a leg!! 1… 2… NO!! STEVENS KICKS OUT! STEVENS KICKS OUT!!! THE KING OF HEARTS CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!! KoH looks like he might drop dead of exhaustion any second from the abuse he's already taken in this match, and this might be the straw that breaks his back… Stevens rolls weakly, pulled out of his game by the lightning fast Jokers Wild delivered by the King… "Grand Slam kicked out!! How did he kick out of the Jokers Wild?!?" NTD screams out! "Heart, pure and simple! He wants the gold again, and he'll go through hell itself to get it!" Curry approvingly says! KoH slowly gets back to his vertical base, prompting the ref to stop the ten count he'd been half-heartedly attempting… making his way over to the corner turnbuckle, he gingerly climbs up one… then another, finally making it to the top. Once up top, KoH raises both hands into the air, flashing the familiar "I Love You" symbol in sign language… before leaping into the air, and connecting 100% with Grand Slam's torso with the Superfly splash!! Stronger now, KoH hooks the leg for the pin! 1… 2… No! The Heavy Hitter just won't die! His arm kicks up vigorously, signaling to all in attendance that things are about to pick up! KoH thumps his hand against the mat in mounting frustration… lifting Grand Slam up by the hair again, the Gambling Man throws a quick forearm shot across his back… and is answered by an elbow to the gut! KoH's eyes widen as he throws another forearm down, determined to stop this rally here and now, but Stevens throws another elbow, and another! One more elbow completely loosens KoH's hold on him, knocking him a few inches into the air from the impact! Grand Slam stands upright in front, looking down on his friend and partner… before firing a stiff knife edge chop into his chest (WHOO)! And then another (WHOO)! And then one final chop, since they always travel in groups of threes (WHOO)!! Grand Slam backs the seemingly defenseless King back into the ropes with the series of chops, before grabbing an arm and firing him across the ring… REVERSAL by the King sends Grand Slam running instead! Bounce back, and the King gathers himself for a moment before throwing his arm out palm first with all the force he can muster… "HEARTBREAKER!! Heartbreaker shotei by the King, and this rally may be over before it's properly begun!" Curry exclaims! Grand Slam's chest takes the shotei the way a pillow takes a bullet! Staggering in place, all the breath knocked out of him the Heavy Hitter just stands there like a fool… and eats a quick toe kick by the King, doubling his breathless body over at the waist!! Running over to the ropes, the King bounces off and lands his trademark scissor kick right to the back of the Heavy Hitter's neck!!! The crowd is going nuts, some in horror, some in glee as everyone anticipates what's coming next… "Oh goodness… the Suicide King lands the scissor kick! That's the set up for another Jokers Wild, and things don't look good in the baseball diamond!" Curry says…. KoH kippups back to his feet, moving around behind the stirring Grand Slam… Stevens slowly stumbles back up to one knee, then to his feet… the King measures him up, measures him up… AND THEN EXPLODES INTO A FLURRY OF MOTION, LOCKING ON THE HALF NELSON AND PREPARING TO FINISH OFF THE HEAVY HITTER ONCE AND FOR ALL! "It's over!" NTD squeals! BUT GRAND SLAM SPINS THROUGH THE HALF NELSON, APPLYING ONE OF HIS OWN! Wrapping up the King's other arm likewise, Stevens lifts the King into the air and drives him tailbone first into the mat with a brutal full nelson drop!! Maintaining his hold on the shaken King, Grand Slam raises him up once again, this time turning him in midflight and slamming the King face first into the canvas with the"Grand Slam" as the crowd pops like an active volcano!! "What a counter!" Curry mark out! "Grand Slam just reversed the Jokers Wild in impressive fashion, while turning a Double Play to boot!! It may soon be over for the King of Hearts!" Lifting the fallen King up, Grand Slam applies the standing headscissors… raising one hand in the air he waves it around, signalling to everyone what is coming next… "He can't hit the Walk-Off! That would be regicide!" NTD elucidates… Grand Slam hooks one arm, then the other… jumping high into the air, he drives the King's head into the mat with all the force of a Howitzer!!!! The entire crowd comes to life, screaming and marking out like little children as Mark Stevens rolls the body of his friend onto its back, hooking the leg… 1… 2… NO!!!! THE GAMBLING MAN KICKS OUT!! THE GAMBLING MAN KICKS OUT!!! Grand Slam cannot believe it, as KoH's arm just barely manages to lift off the ground mere nanoseconds before the ref's hand hits!!!! "WHAT THE GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY?!??!" NTD screams before descending into incoherent babbling. The crowd around him feels likewise apparently, judging by the volume and intensity of their responses… Now it's Grand Slam's turn to feel the frustration mounting… steeling himself (and sparing the smallest of glares for the ref) Stevens stands up again. Lifting KoH up by the hair, he whips the nearly dead Gambling Man into the corner turnbuckle, HARD! KoH's back slams into the insufficiently padded turnbuckles hard and weakly staggers out a few paces before being decimated by Grand Slam's incoming big boot! KoH eats it full in the face, snapping his head back with great intensity as he falls back to the mat… Grand Slam again grabs himself a handful of blonde hair, signaling for a second and final Walk-Off! Stevens shoves King's head between his legs, hooking one arm, then the other…. SOMEHOW THE SUICIDE KING WRENCHES HIS ARMS FREE!! Grabbing both of Grand Slam's legs he sweeps them out from under the larger man… "The King is running on fumes here NTD! Desperation counter, but does he have enough left to take advantage of it?" Curry asks. KoH maintains a weak hold on the legs, apparently planning to slingshot Stevens into the turnbuckle, but Stevens has other ideas! Quickly pulling both legs free, Grand Slam plants both feet on the chest of the Gambling Man, kicking him hard into the turnbuckles he was preparing to deliver Stevens too!!! The King's body has had enough; bouncing off it with a weak thud, he falls forward in a faceplant… AND HIS HEAD UNINTENTIONALLY CONNECTS 100% WITH GRAND SLAM'S GROIN!! The entire arena groans in sympathy as Grand Slam clutches his bat and balls… KoH lays weakly as Grand Slam rolls around in obvious pain. The ref, barely avoiding a life-threatening chuckle, prepares his ten count!! 1… 2… Stevens continues his clutching of the family jewels, failing to get back to his feet! 3… 4… 5… Grand Slam makes it to one knee as KoH just now rolls on to his stomach… 6… Stevens successfully, albeit gingerly, stands fully upright and the ref stops his count! Stevens moves over to the ropes, seeking their temporary support as he wills the pain away… KoH has made it to his hands and knees, shaking his head to clear out the cobwebs… "Each man has endured amazing punishment to get to this match! And each man has endured amazing punishment tonight!!!" Curry screams out loud. "Who will give in?" The Gambling Man finally makes it back fully upright as Grand Slam recovers his composure… the two men move toward each other as if drawn by magnets, helpless to stop themselves… they stand face to face in the middle of the ring, each man sore, bruised, and winded… each man simultaneously draws an arm back like it was pulled by strings and strikes the other as hard as he can!! KoH lands first, only to be rocked back by the force of Grand Slam's blow… KoH tries again, and again he is answered by a stronger blow from Stevens! Grand Slam throws another right, and another, each slowly backing the King into the ropes… Grand Slam goes for another whip, but once again it is reversed by the Gambling Man! Grand Slam sails into the ropes, bounce back, and the leading edge of his chin is nailed with a leaping knee by KoH, sending the larger man down to the mat with murderous efficiency! Quickly running across the ring to the turnbuckles, KoH climbs them and perches, waiting like some gigantic bird of prey… Grand Slam picks himself up from the chin shot… 'Watch out Stevens!" Curry yells! As Grand Slam turns, KoH leaps off of the turnbuckles in a textbook missile dropkick, his feet seeking out Grand Slam's heart… BUT GRAND SLAM SIDESTEPS IT!! King impacts the mat hard, once again clutching his back as the canny ring veteran Stevens pushes him down for the cover… 1… 2… No! KoH still has some juice left in him after all! Stevens wearily stands, lifting the equally bad off King with him… moving him over to the corner, Grand Slam sends him down with a quick and efficient Russian legsweep, before climbing the turnbuckles himself… "We know what's coming here… let's hope it pays off better for gGand Slam than it did for the King!" Curry exclaims! Stevens faces the crowd for only a moment, before sailing up and backwards into the air as a thousand flashbulbs go off, landing dead on center with his trademarked moonsault!!! Stevens hooks the leg, one arm counting along with the ref… 1… 2… NO!! KoH still refuses to die!! "He's like a vampire… stake him through the heart Stevens!" NTD petulantly cries out! Stevens is perhaps a little irate at his stablemate now… lifting him up he throws the smaller man across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex! KoH lands like a sack full of pasta… Grand Slam follows him over, standing resolutely above him. Raising him up once more, he lifts the King into vertical suplex position… and the King floats over once more! Wrapping Stevens up in an inverted facelock he drives the back of his head down into the mat with a diving reverse DDT!!! The ref dives into position a swell, since by luck more than anything else KoH has landed in a pinning position! 1… 2… Nope! Stevens thrusts one powerful arm skyward, robbing KoH of another victory… KoH wearily rolls over, wondering what celestial power he angered to warrant this match… Both men begin to rise under their own power, glancing at each other across the ring and wondering what else they have to do… determined to end this KoH runs the distance between them, grabbing grand Slam by the arm and whipping him into the ropes! Bounce back and the Heavy Hitter's face is introduced to the Gambling Man's knee once again, this time with a devastating facebuster! Stevens staggers back clutching his nose, and the Gambling Man sees the opening he's been waiting for… jus to make sure it doesn't vanish like a fever dream, the Suicide King fires another Heartbreaker right into the Heavy Hitter's sternum! 'This might be over! He's going for another Jokers Wild!" Curry screams out, clutching his headset! KoH spins behind the staggered Grand Slam, hooking one arm up into the half nelson… and Grand Slam spins and twists it into an Irish whip!! KoH sails across the ring, bounce back, and is doubled over by the force of the Heavy Hitter's toe kick… "I stand corrected! Walk-Off! This could be over!" Curry corrects himself! Grand Slam hooks one arm, but never has another chance with the second as it lifts him up and over into another fireman's carry! Stevens confusedly lands on his feet, unaware of the peril behind him… NTD yells out, "For the love of God somebody hit something!!!" As KoH locks on the half nelson one more time AND IS INSTEAD ARM DRAGGED RIGHT OVER!! Grand Slam is ready with another boot as KoH makes it to his feet… BUT THE KING OF HEARTS CATCHES IT, SPINNING GRAND SLAM IN PLACE AND GRABBING THAT ELUSIVE ARM… BEFORE SWEEPING GRAND SLAM FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT!!! "JOKERS WILD!! OH MY GOD THIS COULD BE THE UPSET OF THE CENTURY!!!" Curry yells out in response to the huge crowd reaction! "The King is going for the cover!!!" 1… 2… NO!!! GRAND SLAM KICKS OUT! GRAND SLAM KICKS OUT! KoH looks like he's about to cry as both his hands grab his temples and the MSG crowd explodes like a ten megaton warhead!!!! "What endurance! What inhuman resolve by the Heavy Hitter!" Curry says. "How he can take this punishment and not give in is beyond me!" KoH stands upright, looking for all the world like all the life has been drained out of him by Grand Slam's super-heroic toughness… hoping against hope he raises his best friend and stablemate up once more, entirely supporting his weight on his own weak legs… again hooking the arm and grapevining the leg…AND ONCE MORE PLOWING GRAND SLAM INTO THE MAT WITH A JOKERS WILD!!! KoH rolls Grand Slam over and hooks the leg… 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING!!!! Funyon makes the announcement as if he can barely believe it either… "The winner of this bout, and representative of the C Bracket at Genesis II, THE KING OF HEAAARRRTTTSSS!!!!" KoH looks wearily skyward as his music begins to play… the ref raises his tired arm, before dropping it as KoH reaches for his fallen friend… Curry nearly whispers into the mike, "The King of Hearts beat Thoth in what could only be called an upset. He then moved on to face Perfect Bo, and won in what could only be called an upset… and here tonight in front of more amazed fans than I can count, the Gambling Man wins over his close friend Mark Stevens in what can only be called an upset…. You have to wonder.. how much farther can this Cinderella story go? Will it in fact end with the King of Hearts as our IGNWF Champion?" NTD breaks down crying. KoH slowly is restoring his friend to life… first Stevens eyes open and then he reaches his hand to his aching head… the Gambling Man slowly, gently lifts Stevens to his feet. Once it's clear that Mark can stand under his own power, the King lets him go… the two men stand face to face for a long moment. Grand Slam looks somewhat angry, and his hand has three fingers extended which he presents to the King, who shrugs with an embarrassed grin on his face. Grand Slam takes another step in, his face clouding over… the King looks genuinely nervous… right until Grand Slam sweeps him into a big hug, to the delight of the capacity crowd!!! Putting the King in a playful side headlock he tousles the Gambling Man's hair, a grin on his face! KoH extricates himself as the music changes to "Love Rollercoaster" and the two men slide under the ring ropes… "Friendship apparently prevails over ambition tonight, as the Carnies depart stronger than ever! Or so it seems…" Curry remarks. "But coming up next, can another Carnie make it into the Big Dance? If you thought the Gambling Man had bad odds, wait til you see what Mistress Sarah has to go through! IGNite will be right back!! And fade…

...As we return following a commercial for Electronic Arts new PC game ‘Lollercoaster Tycoon’, getting the Mansonosity stamp of approval, the lights fade, and soon the arena is bathed in complete darkness, much to the distaste of Bobby Riley who groans loudly, forgetting his headset is on. “It never ends does it? It never bloody ends. Ooh, the lights have gone out, I didn’t see that coming, this is a unique and spectacular entrance, not cliché *at all*!” While Riley goes off on a wild tangent, the soothing, almost sleep educing music of ‘Aerials’ begins to play softly, the arena suddenly illuminated by flashbulbs from every corner of the arena… “Welcome back to Smarkdown, loyal SWF followers!” announces the spandex superhero, the legendary Cyclone Comet! Who tries to cover for his partner’s legendary incompetence. “If you’ve just joined us, you’re in for a real treat as…” “Oh, and Nu Metal as well! Great, why don’t you just shoot me in the head right now to end this angst riddled drama queen’s entrance.” “… As Christian Fury faces Ace Lezaire in singles competition, with nothing but pride on the line! Hey, Robert, did you say something?” “Don’t test me, freak.” Snaps Riley, obviously in no mood to squabble with his partner. “Oh and here comes the…” *BOOOOOOOM!* “…Black Pyro. I am enthralled, utterly enthralled.” ‘RRRRRAAAAAHHHHH!’ Though Riley remains skeptical, the fans reaction tells the true story as they all stand as one, cheering to their heart’s content as Christian Fury makes his way out on stage! With his tag team title around his waist, Fury strides down the ramp, hearing the crowd’s love and adulation, but paying it little attention as he sets his mind on the business at hand. Comet’s eyes light up as Fury jumps on to the ring apron, leaping over the ropes and into the ring. “Despite your dislike for Citizen Fury my cynical cohort, you cannot deny that he has been on a roll since making his surprising yet triumphant return to an SWF ring!” “I can and will,” answers a venomous Riley, shaking his head as the crowd continues to lap up everything Fury does. “Sure, he has a few wins, and he’s also won a few titles in an amazingly short space of time… but… but he’s a stupid head and I don’t like him.” “Your eloquence is a breath of fresh air, just as Fury has been in this last month! Just when I thought the nefarious evildoers plaguing the SWF would run rampant, along come men like Christian Fury to put the proverbial spanner in the Revolution Zero works, and I couldn’t be happier!” Fury raises his title into the air for the whole arena to see, and they cheer even louder! Funyon groans, having to shout even louder over their jubilant response. “Ladies and Gentleman, the following match is a Singles Match, and it is scheduled for one fall!” “Introducing first,” he continues, “from Cleveland, Ohio. He weighs in at two hundred and thirty one pounds, and is one half of the reigning SWF Tag Team Champions, please welcome… CHRISTIAN FURY!” “Just what we need freak, another ‘tortured soul’. I wonder how much Linkin Park he listened to while sulking about losing his Hardcore title…” “Nonsense!” Comet replies defiantly. “As you can plainly see, Citizen Fury has not let his loss get to him one bit, still showing that aura of confidence that will bring about Ace Lezaire’s downfa…“ *BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!* Comet jumps onto the announce table seething with rage as Muse’s ‘Hyper Music’ interrupts his uplifting message! The superhero is pulled back into his seat by Bobby as Ace makes his way out from the back, standing at centre stage, raising his arms into the air, looking to the heavens as- *BOOM!* -pyro explodes at either side of the stage in grand fashion! Comet remains champing at the bit as Lezaire pats his Canadian Champion which sits around his waist. The crowd rains their hate down on the innocent Canadian, who waves back at them, his brain automatically filtering the response so he hears nothing but love! “And once again,” notes Riley, “Steve is noticeably absent from Ace’s side. It certainly helped on Lockdown, where Ace looked almost… uninhibited, and showed his full potential when not distracted by the spotlight.” “And his opponent!” yells Funyon, deflecting trash thrown from the crowd as Lezaire slides into the ring. “From Vancouver, Canada, weighing in at two hundred and thirty four pounds exactly, he is the Sovereign of Swagger and Canada’s Greatest Hope-“ ‘BOOOOOOOOOOO!’ “-he is, ACE LEZAIRE!” “Now here’s a man to be proud of, and possibly pray to at a homemade shrine every night,” admires Riley, staring at Ace with puppy dog eyes in incredibly creepy fashion. “Having won back his Canadian title from David Cross, Lezaire looks to defeat another half of the tag team champions, and possibly earning himself a shot at those titles at a later date…” “Stop winking at the camera!” shouts Comet, annoyed by his partner’s obvious ploy. “…But as much as I hate to agree with you, there may be some merit in your observation. If Ace can defeat both tag champions, it will do much to impress the brass and possibly earn a shot at those tag team titles, but first, he has to defeat Fury, and that will be no easy task!” The two men stare each other down, Lezaire grinning like a Cheshire cat, Fury remaining focused as always, not letting the Canadian get to him in the slightest. Kivell returns to the centre of the ring, keeping the two men apart, signaling to ringside for- *DING! DING! DING!* -the bell to start this match! “And here we go Bobbo!” shouts Comet. “Remember folks, this is a straight singles match. Citizen Fury has wrestled hardcore matches as of late, and may not adjust quite so easily without a kendo stick in his hands.” “With both men almost identical in size, they’ll need to draw on every reserve they have to one up each other. Fury, although an experienced wrestler in his own right, has been away from the sport for a long time, while Lezaire has wrestled almost non-stop since joining the SWF, and the experience factor in this match has to go with him, along with the ‘cheat like a bitch’ and the ‘just too damn pretty’ factor.” As soon as he hears the bell ring Ace springs to action, catching Fury off-guard as his shoulder connects with his pelvis, knocking the former champion off his feet with a double leg takedown! Fury collapses to the canvas, his reaction time obviously not what it used to be, and Lezaire takes advantage, taking Fury’s still bruised and worn knee and pivoting gracefully on the spot, looking to lock on a Figure Four! Realizing the dire situation only thirty seconds into the match, Fury thinks fast, planting his free foot into Lezaire’s spine and thrusting him away, releasing the hold! Ace spins back around with a satisfied smirk on his face, knowing too well he’s hit a sore spot. Fury has no time to regroup, stunned by a European uppercut from the Canadian, before he’s soon hopping on one leg as Lezaire holds the other firmly in his grasp! But Lezaire has tried for too much too soon, Fury expecting another attack to the leg and formulating a counter, using Ace’s hold to spring into the air, nailing him upside the head with an Enziguri! “Citizen Fury shows a touch of class,” begins Comet, “recovering from Ace’s mind games and showing he still has what it takes to hang with the best speedsters around!” “Exactly, Comet, and Lezaire knows this, which is why he’s targeting that knee. Even if it’s properly healed, taking out an opponents leg is a huge step into securing a win.” The tremendous kick to the head sends Ace hurtling into the corner, stunned by the older man’s agility, but as Fury approaches to press his advantage, Lezaire zips forward, connecting with a thumb to the eye! The crowd with a view from behind the indiscretion are up in arms, but alas Kivell was blindsided! Ace maintains it was a legal blow, despite Fury stumbling away with a red eye and tears flowing. Hearing the crowd howl in protest, Lezaire grins cheerfully, striding confidently towards Fury, hitting him with a jab on the nose! *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* Lezaire rocks Fury with three jabs, temporarily stunning the former hardcore champion, before winding up for one last shot, kissing his fist and twirling, swinging his arm around and- “Here it comes, the knockout blow. Mark this one down folks!” *WOOSH!!* -missing with the knock out blow! Lezaire stumbles forward, shocked that he missed, turning around hoping that Fury is still out of it- *WHAM!* “You were saying, Bobbo?” says Comet with a grin. -but a spinning back fist to the noggin’ gives him a sharp dose of reality! The crowd leaps to their feet, finally having something to cheer about as Fury falls on top of Ace, covering him for ONE! TW- but no more as Lezaire rolls out to the side, breaking the count. Fury climbs back to a vertical base, feeling a slight but sharp pain in his leg, but he thinks nothing of it as he lifts Ace back to his feet, peppering him with right hands before wailing on him with knuckle dusters to the temple! The stiff blows rock Ace, backing him into the ropes, before Fury takes him by the hand and sends him across the ring with an Irish Whip, bending over, waiting for the cocksure Canadian to return, before sending him flying into the air and crashing back down to earth with a Back Body Drop! Fury speedily covers once again, this time hooking the leg for good measure ONE! TWO! Kivell only reaches a two count before Lezaire kicks out, before his head hits the mat again, seeing stars, well, more so than usual. “Being cheated out of the Hardcore title obviously hasn’t phased Citizen Fury,” says Comet, “he knows he’ll have his day with Rev0 soon enough, and defeating a red hot Lezaire would send a big message!” With the crowd fully behind him, chanting- FURY! FURY! FURY! -to their hearts content, Fury sets himself for his next attack, waiting for the Canadian Champion to sit back up from his hellish beating, though it takes a while. As he does, Fury dives forward with a seated dropkick to the face! “This isn’t how it’s supposed to go!” Riley cries in vain, watching Ace cover his face and cower. “Pipe down, Bobbo. Fury is doing a great public service. Maybe enough shots to the head like that will set this kid straight and on the path to justice!” “Justice is overrated and unmarketable. “ Comet grabs his cape and begins to ring Riley’s neck with it. “Don’t you ever say that! Justice will always be marketable!” Despite feeling a burning urge to take a kendo stick to Ace Lezaire’s head, just for being Ace Lezaire, Fury hears the crowd chant his name and acknowledges their support with a raised arm and a hint of a smile. The former hardcore champ takes his time, reaching down for Ace, but the wily Canadian suddenly surprises him yet again, rolling over and dragging him down onto his shoulders with a schoolboy pin ONE! TWO! but luckily Fury rolls a shoulder off the mat in time! Before Fury can power away however, Ace grabs a hold of Fury’s ‘suspect’ knee, wrapping his legs around it in a grapevine and locking on a leg lock! Christian’s mind tells him to escape, but his body is already way ahead of him, scampering towards the bottom rope and clinging onto it to break the hold, but Lezaire still holds on for- “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” “Beautiful chain wrestling from Lezaire,” admires Riley. “Ace is always thinking three or four moves ahead, that is, until he sees a camera…” -as long as he can, before Kivell threatens him with a DQ! Ace lets go, pleading innocence, but he has no time to rest on his laurels as an angered Fury climbs to his feet, making a beeline straight for Lezaire. His GUSTO~ works against him however as the cunning Canadian expertly steps aside, avoiding a clothesline and taking Fury down with a drop toe hold! Despite his best efforts, Ace can’t quite keep Fury still to thread his leg through for the Cross STF as Christian feverously resists, trying to kick Lezaire away and reach the ropes. Just when it seems Ace may loose his grasp and let Fury slip away, he improvises, grabbing Fury’s knee and pulling it high into the air, before slamming the joint down against the canvas! A quiet yelp of pain escapes Fury, trying his best to not let anything on, but Lezaire smells blood, and not the trickle escaping from his own nose. With a quick pivot, Ace drives his knee into Christian’s spine, keeping the tag team champion firmly in place before yanking back on his leg with a Single Leg Crab! “Superb thinking from the Vancouver native,” says Riley, singing Lezaire’s praises as always. “Ace has learnt much form his relatively short time in the SWF, and again we see him adapt perfectly to the ever changing situation in the ring, as he was unable to apply a more devastating submission, but through quick thinking he kept control and has Fury grimacing in pain, literally.” “I don’t like this one iota, Robert…” replies Comet, looking at his monitor in worriment. “Citizen Fury said his knee wouldn’t bother him tonight, but the nefarious Lezaire is infamous in his attack on injured limbs, but mark my words, justice will reign, even on one leg!” “Well he sure is lucky this isn’t an asskicking conte-“ “Finish that sentence and I will royally smite you.” Unlike before, Fury finds it near impossible to budge with Lezaire’s knee grinding into his back and causing more than great discomfort. However, the real pain in shooting through his knee as Ace torques his leg left and right, pulling back on it as far as it will go! The villainous display incites the crowd, and they chant in protest- AAACCCEEE - HHHOOOLLLEEE! AAACCCEEE - HHHOOOLLLEEE! AAACCCEEE - HHHOOOLLLEEE! -to which Lezaire just grins like an idiot, taking time out to wave at them and thanking them for taking the time to come out and see him- RRRRRRRRRRAAAHHHH!!!! -but as his premature celebrations continue, Fury picks his spot exactly, waiting for Lezaire to relieve the pressure for just a second and swiveling his hips, turning over and countering the hold! Christian takes Lezaire’s leg and entwines it in a body scissors, much to the crowd’s delight as they watch the tables turn! Fury tries to lock in the inverted leg lock, but Lezaire scampers to the ropes, breaking the hold as soon as possible, retreating to the safety of the corner. “Citizen Fury sends a message, that he can play mind games too!” “The most effective mind game would be reciting his incredibly bad poetry, being such a troubled soul…” Both men reach their feet at the same moment, although Fury hobbles slightly, filling Lezaire with confidence at his handiwork. Head down, charging across the ring, Lezaire feels the end is near- YYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH! -until Fury wraps his biceps around his throat with a sleeper hold! “He’s grasping at straws, Comet,” points out Riley. “A desperation sleeper hold, he’s a fool if he thinks this will work.” He syncs in the hold as tight as possible, trying to keep his opponent in place, but the tag team champion’s luck soon runs out as Ace employs more quick thinking, grabbing Fury’s head with both hands and sitting out, smashing Fury’s jaw on the top point of his head! “Top of the head, hardest part of the body,” Riley informs us all with a smirk, “of course, Lezaire knows this, being the most intelligent wrestler alive today.” The impact sends Christian hurtling into the strands and back again where Lezaire lies in wait, taking Fury’s leg and spinning him around, bringing him down with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip, before grabbing hold of both legs and flipping over Fury with a bridged pin for ONE! TWO! THHHHHHRRRRRRR!!! a two count only! The fans cheer and applaud Christian’s resolve, while Lezaire stews, becoming frustrated and slamming his fist down on the canvas. “See that, freak? An expert move, using a bridged pin so Fury had to use his legs to power out, thus putting more pressure on them. Whoever taught his young man must understand the game better than anyone.” “… and be as conceded and delusional as Citizen Lezaire is,” grunts Comet, “but you’re right Bobbo, how this cocky young villain have received such thorough training is beyond me, but his over confidence will be his downfall!” Waiting and watching, Ace stalks his opponent, circling him like a vulture as Fury gets to one knee, trying to fight his way to his feet. Lezaire runs forward, spinning through the air- *CRACK!* -connecting with a glancing blow to the jaw! “A beautiful cyclone elbow from Citizen Lezaire! Of course, the only thing being beautiful about it is that it’s named after me!” “If only people knew the REAL you…” Christian crashes to the mat, unable to react in time as Lezaire grabs both his legs, standing up tall and leaning back, catapulting Fury into the turnbuckles head first. The fans cringe as Fury’s head bounces off the turnbuckle pad, but Lezaire doesn’t let go there, instead he keeps a firm hold, letting Fury land spine first down across his knees! OOOOOOHHHHHH!! The sight of Fury, draped over Lezaire’s knees, blood rushing to his head is a sick one, but Ace delights in his opponent’s predicament, not because he likes causing pain, but because it looks great on camera. Lezaire is not just a slave to the spotlight however as Fury will attest to, the Canadian making sure to wrench back on his injured leg mercilessly. “This is just painful to watch!” shouts Comet in an outrage. “What you usually see with Lezaire is his stupid, moronic, conceded exterior, but underneath, Citizen Lezaire has a real mean streak!” “You have to, freak, otherwise you can’t survive in this business. That’s why you don’t see any monks in the ring, do you?” “No… I guess not.” Taking a gamble, Fury pulls his legs out suddenly, escaping Lezaire’s grip, and kicks him in both sides of the head! Fury calls upon all his reserves as he somersaults backward and rolls onto to his feet! The crowd rises from their seats as Lezaire whirls to his feet to meet his opponent… *CRUNCH!* … Only to have Fury, throwing all caution into the wind, charge forward, head down, crashing into the poor Canadian with a GORE! RRRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! “Citizen Fury scores with the ultimate equalizer!” screams Comet. “He knew he had to do something drastic, and he came through!” “No! Not after all Lezaire’s hard work, it can’t end like this!” The noise in the Arrowhead Stadium is INSANE as Fury rolls away covering his head, knowing he’ll feel that one in the morning, but so will Ace who curls up in a fetal position, coughing and spluttering! The crowd cheer Fury on as he slowly crawls over to make the cover, chanting- FURY! FURY! FURY! -until he finally makes it over, turning Ace onto his back and heaping himself onto his chest… ONE! TWO! THHHHRRRREEEEEE...!!!! …NO! “YES!” Riley shouts as Ace somehow finds the energy to kick out! Fury simply groans as he rolls away, trying his best to get to his feet while Ace heads to the sanctuary of the corner, shocked at his opponent’s resilience and determination, and wondering how he could get some of that. He doesn’t wonder long as Fury again charges across the ring, spearing his shoulder into Ace’s midsection! Ace leans forward, clutching his ribs, but Fury throws him back into the corner and spears him again… …and again… …And AGAIN! “Fury is venting his anger at Lezaire and playing right into his hands,” surmises Riley. “This is exactly what Lezaire wants…” “…To have his ribs collapse on themselves?” Ace stumbles out form the corner, Fury backing away slowly, keeping him close at hand as he looks at the crowd, all begging him to put this reprobate away! Fury kindly obliges, kicking Lezaire in the gut and twisting around, taking Ace by the neck and pulling him down for a stunner! NO! Even in his confused and dazed state, Lezaire knows this move and how to counter it, sending Fury into the ropes! Christian’s momentum sends him skidding across the mat, unable to avoid a back elbow smash from Lezaire that stuns him momentarily. Lezaire them grabs Fury around the head, placing one leg behind his, trying to slam him down with an S.T.O! Before he can execute anything, Lezaire is doubled over by a knee to the stomach from Fury! Ace groans, his ribs hurting like hell, but he has even bigger problems as Fury hooks him in a front face lock! Lezaire darts forward, trying to reach the ropes for safety, but Fury stops him cold with another well placed knee, before twisting around and- *BAM!!!* -nailing him with a Twist of Fate Neckbreaker, driving him face first into the canvas! “SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS!” bellows Comet, jumping into the air. “Fury comes out of nowhere with a Twist of Fate after his finisher was blocked!” “I thought Fury was stupid to try for the stunner, but he had another idea up his sleeve, and now… oh, I can’t watch! Ace just can’t lose!” The crowd can finally breathe a sigh of relief as Lezaire doesn’t move, almost knocked out by the blow as Fury scoots over and hooks the inside leg and Kivell slides over to count with the fans help “ONE!” “TWO!” “THRRRREEEEEEEEEE…!!!” … but Kivell stops and Fury looks up, wondering why the hell he would stop now. Kivell, regretfully, points to Lezaire’s foot… which hangs lifelessly on the bottom rope! “What happened…?” murmurs Riley, hands still covering his face. “That villainous Lezaire broke the count, putting his foot on the bottom rope!” answers Comet in disbelief. “I thought he was done for, finito, long gone, but edging himself closer to the ropes proved to be a master stroke, as much as I hate to admit it!” Sensing victory only moments away, Fury wastes no time bringing Lezaire to his feet and dragging him over to the turnbuckles, where Christian hops onto the second rope, taking Ace by the arm in preparation for the Guillotine Face Driver… “LET’S ROLL!” shouts Comet with gusto. “There’s no way Ace can counter this, not after the beating he’s taken... is there?” As soon as comet finishes his sentence, and before Fury and drape his leg across Lezaire’s head, the Canadian Champion shows why he is a champion, countering in the nick of time, sending Fury across the ring with a relatively harmless arm drag! Fury is onto Lezaire before he can even begin to mount an offence, taking him by the hand and pulling him- “OOOF!” -into a short arm knee lift! Fury then tries an Irish Whip into the ropes, but Lezaire digs in, holding still and not budging. Fury tries again but Ace refuses to move, but as he tries a third time, a searing pain shoots through his knee as he hyper extends in his attempt to whip Ace! “And Fury’s knee buckles at a vital moment!” shouts Riley. “He had done so well to avoid using it in any way, but Citizen Lezaire used his cunning, and now he has him right where he wants him! This just can’t be!” Lezaire counters the whip, sending the tag team champion hobbling into the ropes. Lezaire grins as he waits for his opponent to return, making sure to lift him into the air with his injured leg, slamming him down- *WHAM!!* -face first with a flapjack! Lezaire suddenly comes to life, pivoting around and threading his own leg through Fury’s as he lies prone. Lezaire then reaches forward, linking his hands together and hooking them around Christian’s head with a face lock! “CROSS STF!” blurts Riley, jumping out of his seat. “All his work on the knee is going to pay off if he can keep this locked in!” The crowd cannot believe what they’re seeing as Fury struggles to fight on, Lezaire arching back, putting even more pressure on his neck and legs, which are tangled dangerously around Ace’s. His knee is on fire, pain shooting through it relentlessly… but he fight on! Using his arms which lie free, Fury digs into the mat and tries to pull himself forward, the bottom rope only a few inches away! “The story of this man’s life, always persevering, never giving up! A true champion of justice!” Comet proudly proclaims as he wills Fury on, begging him to reach the ropes. Riley isn’t too fussed as he watches on. “Oh contraire, freak, Ace is already putting the wheels in motion…” Comet sits with a puzzled look, wondering what his partner means. That is, until Lezaire grabs Cross’s arm, holding it in his grasp while he applies the face lock! Fury struggles to move the final inches needed, his arm held at the side of his head as Lezaire wrenches back, until… *DING! DING! DING* “That’s it, I told you Comet, I told you!” shouts a jubilant Riley. “Fury taps, Ace wins! Acemania is running wild!” “Isn’t that Megalomania?” “If you want to get technical…” Ace lets go of the hold, grinning from ear to ear despite blood trickling form his nose and a cut on his forehead. “Hyper Music” kicks up as Kivell raises Lezaire’s arm into the air, and Funyon announces much to the chagrin of the capacity crowd… “Here is your winner by Submission, the Prodigy… ACE LEZAIRE!” “Time and time again Citizen Ace somehow, some way, pulls a rabbit out of the hat and steals a victory from the jaws of defeat!” says a disbelieving Comet. “But I have to applaud the young man’s determination out there, he wanted this win, and in the end, he comes out the victor.” “Get used to it, freak,” replies Bobby, a satisfied man. “He’ll rise to the top of the ranks soon enough, you’ll see. He’s Canada’s greatest export, after all, and a damn fine ambassador for his country.” Lezaire takes his title, taking the time to place it around his waist, before triumphantly heading up the ramp as the crowd hurl abuse his way and worry about Christian Fury, but the former Hardcore Champ is already back up, remaining defiant even in defeat, staring at Lezaire as he disappears to the back… FADE OUT

“Toxxic!” Toxxic turns and sees Marcus Washington hurrying towards him, ever-present briefcase clutched in one hand. “Hey Marcus, what’s up?” the World Champion asks. Washington readjusts his spectacles and smiles. “Nice speech out there by the way,” he tells the Brit. “I don’t know that Clark guy but he sounds like a loser. Anyway,” the lawyer continues, “I had a thought. You know no-one’s seen Nathaniel Kibagami?” “Yeah.” “Well, I think I know who must have seen him if he was here,” Marcus explains, “or at least will know who’s working on his behalf. Think about it; where do you go if you want a video package played?” Toxxic has to think for a second because the answer is so obvious. Then he realises; even though the answer is obvious, it also makes sense. “The production truck! Marcus, you’re a genius!” “No, I’m a lawyer,” Washington smirks. “That’s even better.” Marcus turns, and the two men hurry off down the hallway. Jet, however, hangs back for a moment and looks around. She doesn’t see anything, but can’t shake the nagging feeling that they’re being watched...

The lights dim in the stadium as Funyon makes his way to the ring. The nattily clad announcer has a look of dread on his face as he prepares to introduce the next match. He cautiously steps between the ring ropes and heads to the microphone that dangles patiently in the center of the ring. The Arrowhead Pond of Anneheim is packed tonight. The crowd is a few seats short of a sell out but the audience present is extremely vocal. Hundreds of signs wave up and down in the stands, each begging to be caught for television. As Funyon reaches for the microphone a chant begins BLOOD SPORT BLOODSPOTS BLOODSPORT “Ladies and Gentlemen welcome back to SWF SMARKDOWN!!!” The crowd gives a loud round of applause as a fist fight breaks out in the front row. A group of over-excited spectators get into a shoving match over nothing important. A half dozen security guards quickly separate the combatants and escort them out of the arena. “It looks like we have a few future SWF stars in the audience” Comet jokes as Robert Riley glances over at the troublemakers. “They’ll have to come back in a few years…when they get some muscles” As the crowd quiets Funyon continues. “The following contest is for the hardcore Gamers Championship!!!” BLOOD SPORT BLOOD SPORT BLOOD SPORT “The match will be one fall to a finish and will be contested under hard-core rules. Due to the nature of this match the SWF advices families with young childen that the following contest might not be suitable for their viewing” Robert Riley gags on his hotdog. “Oh come on!” Riley exclaims. “First allow me to introduce the challenger. He weights in at 307 pounds and hails from parts unknown….Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…CARRRRRNAGE!!!!” Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the……..FLOOOOOOOORRRR!!!!! A fountain of white pyros burst from under the JumboTron as Carnage steps out from behind the curtain and stands at the top of the entrance ramp. The masked madman glares ominously at the audience as he waits a moment before heading towards the ring. He is carrying his trademark barbed wire covered baseball bat and appears in a very foul mood as he heads towards the ring. The six foot seven inch SWF resident psychopath quickly makes his way up the steel stairs and into the ring He goes to the far side corner post and climbs to the middle rope and gazes out over the crowd. As the sea of faces watch his every move he raises hit bat high in the air for all to see. “That certainly is an intimidating looking weapon Citizen Carnage has bought with him this evening” Cyclone Comet states as Carnage continues to wave the bat at the spectators. “It looks like it could do some damage.” Robert Riley replies. “ I’m not sure what Sean Davis will do with it though; probably stick it up Carnages ass I guess” As Carnage finally dismounts the ropes Funyon continues with his introductions. “And his opponent…and the current SWF Hardcore Gamers champion…he weights in at 270 pounds and hails from Jacksonville Florida…Ladies and gentlemen give a warm welcome to, “The Perfect Storm” SEAN DAAAAVISS!!!” The stadium darkens as a low rumble of thunder can be heard; flashes of white pyro’s streak from the ceiling to the stage in an imitation of lightning. A loud clap of thunder shakes the stadium as, “F.E.” by 40 Below Summer kicks up. Lines of flame burst alive and border the stage, as if a fire was started by the lightning strike. Sean Davis steps out from behind the curtain and slowly makes his way to the ring. He is followed closely—albeit reluctantly—by Marcus Washington. The crowd gives a luke warm welcome to the hated Sean Davis as he cautiously heads to ring side. The reaction is even less enthusiastic for Marcus Washington, who looks clearly intimidated by Carnage. The erstwhile representative of the world champion pauses for a moment to look at Carnage, who is glaring at both men from his corner of the ring. He swallows hard as he looks into the wild eyes of the obviously unstable opponent. Sean Davis carries with him a thick steel chain that he wraps tightly around his right fist. He is careful to allow about four feet of chain to dangle loosely to the ground; making for a dangerous potential weapon. “The first thing that I’ve notices about both Citizens Davis and Carnage is neither of them appears particularly heavy. I mean Sean Davis weights in at 270 pounds but evidently none of it is fat because he appears in tremendous shape” Cyclone Comet remarks as he glances over his notes for the upcoming match. “Sean Davis is in tremendous shape.He is a fine athlete; the new hardcore gamers champion. Obviously Sean Davis didn’t win the title by eating donuts and drinking beer” Riley responds animatedly. “…And Carnage…although he weights in at over 300 pounds…also appears in great condition” Comet continues as Riley shakes his head in disagreement. “He’s in ok shape, I mean its not like he had anything else to do in the looney bin other than work out. But being in ok physical shape will not be enough to survive a hard core title match with the like of “The Perfect Storm” Sean Davis” “I wouldn’t be so sure about that” “Oh I would.” Riley responds. “ It’s all fine and well to work out and become a muscle-head, but you need brains to suirvive in a match with an opponent the likes of Sean Davis. In my humble opinion when it comes to brains Carnage is running on empty.” “And what makes you think Carnage is lacking in the brains department?” Cyclone Comet asks as a chuckle is heard coming from the crowd. Robert Riley takes a swig from his soda as he looks towards the ring. Carnage is standing atop the turnbuckles waving his bat in the air and screaming unintelligibly at Sean Davis, who is standing outside the ring looking in disbelief at the enigmatic challenger. “Yeah…he’s a bright one all right!” Riley chuckles dismissively. Sean Davis gets some last works of encouragement from Marcus Washington as he slowly steps between the ring ropes. Carnage glares at his opponent from his corner as Funyon finishes his introductions. “Once again this match is a hardcore match. The rules are there are no rules. The first wrestler to gain a pin fall or submission over their opponent will be awarded the Hard Core Gamers championship!” Referee Tony Williams quickly slides under the bottom rope and signals for the bell as Funyon jogs out of the ring. The crowd cheers on the competitors as the opening bell rings DING DING Sean Davis immediately begins spinning the loose chain in a wide circle as he approaches Carnage. The crazed opponent extends his bat in front of him in a protective manner as Davis plots his attack. As Carnage steps foreword Davis whips the loose chain at the bat knocking it out of Carnages hand. He quickly pulls back on the chain, and then sends it whipping again at Carnages face. The bat lands near the far side ring post where it is quickly retrieved by Marcus Washington, who pulls it out of the ring and tosses it to the floor. “It didn’t take long for Citizen Davis to disarm his opponent in this match”, Cyclone Comet understates as Robert Riley laughs aloud at the questionable tactics of Marcus Washington. “Marcus Washington is such a brilliant man. You have to respect the man”, Robert Riley gushes as Robinson admonishes the spectators. Sean Davis continues to whip the larger opponent with the chain as Carnage attempts to block the slashes with his forearms. Davis pulls back once more on the chain and hen goes to whip the SWF resident psycho across the face. The effort is thwarted when Carnage grabs hold of the chain mid swing and yanks his opponent foreword. The sudden pull knocks Davis to the mat where he is met with a hard kick to the skull. “Davis appears to have tripped over something on the mat”, Riley states as he apparently missed Carnages encouragement. “I hate to disagree with you Robert, but Carnage just pulled him to the ground” “No, it was a trip; I believe Davis slid of Carnages blood” Sean Davis springs to his feet and fires a series of hard rights to the face of Carnage. The rocks the masked madman and forces him to take a few steps back from the attacking Davis. Carnage fires a sharp knee to his opponent’s gut, which seems to slow Sean Davis. He follows with several hard punches of his own to, “The Perfect Storms” face. Davis responds with a blistering chop across Carnages chest that knocks the big man back a few steps. Davis steps foreword and grabs Carnage around the waist in an effort to go for a belly to back suplex. The masked man counters the move with a quick head BUTT that stops Davis in his tracks. “Citizen Carnage might have broken Sean Davis’ nose with that head BUTT”, Comet exclaims as Davis tries to recover from the headbutt. “It’s that damned leather mask he wears. It’s a weapon in itself! He should not be allowed to wrestle with that mask!” Riley screams in anger. “Well, Bobbo, it is a hardcore match” Robert Riley huffs indignantly as he turns his attention back to the action in the ring. Carnage goes for a choke slam but Davis counters with a kick to his opponents’ ribs. The impact doubles Carnage over and allows Davis to grab his opponent around the neck for a potential DDT. The masked madman responds with a quick low blow that wobbles Davis and forces him to step away from the action. “Brilliant wrestling from Carnage. A low blow to the balls is such a fine example of technical wrestling” Riley barks as the crowd begins to get behind the challenger. Carnage slips behind the back of Sean Davis and wraps his arms around his waist. He goes for an attempted German suplex but the champion blocks the move by hooking his leg with his opponents. Davis fires a strong elbow to Carnages’ face that forces him to release his hold. This allows Davis to fire off a few stiff punches to Carnages’ face as he begins to seize the momentum. “The match up has been a pretty even affair”, Cyclone Comet notes. “ both wrestlers have somewhat similar styles on offense and neither man has yet to gain a clear advantage over the other” “You must be watching a different match. I think Sean Davis has pretty much controlled the entire match to thus far!” Riley retorts. “About the only good move Carnage has been able to muster is a chop to the nuts” Sean Davis grabs Carnage by the arm and whips him to the ropes. Carnage rebounds to find Davis charging at him with a clothesline. The masked madman quickly ducks under Davis’ clothesline attempt and comes to a sudden stop. As Davis turns he eats a hook kick to the side of the face. The champion wobbles for a moment, and then falls to the mat. “and Citizen Davis tastes the mat!” Cyclone Comet states with a monotone delivery. “The freak gets lucky!” Riley gruffly responds. Carnage reaches for Davis’ near side arm and wrenches It vigorously as he pulls his opponent to his feet. As Davis gets vertical Carnage shoots several well-aimed kicks into his ribs. The champion grimaces as the mentally unstable challenger continues to twist at his arm. “Citizen Carnage is liable to pull Sean Davis’ arm out of its socket!” Cyclone states as Robert Riley orders a few hotdogs from the “Franks-A-Lot” man. “I’d much prefer to see Davis pull Carnages head off his shoulders!” Riley responds as he slips the concession guy a fin for his meal. “You know Bobbo, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were a bit biased towards Sean Davis in this match” Riley shakes his head in disgust as he rips open a pack Of Ketsup. “How can anyone root for Carnage? I mean he’s a total whack job!” Riley asks. “ You have a skilled Professional wrestler like Sean Davis going against some ridiculously insane escapee from a nut house running around in a Halloween costume. The whole idea of him getting a title shot is absurd!” Sean Davis balls his fist up and fires a hard shot to Carnages face. The impact forces the big man to loosen his grip on the champions arm wrench; but fails to free Davis from the hold. The champion follows up with another hard punch, then another. Carnage finally releases the hold as he is rocked by the punches. Davis seizes the opportunity and nails Carnage with a clothesline. The masked man finally hits the mat. “And Citizen Carnage tastes the mat!” Robert Riley mockingly states in his best Cyclone Comet imitation. “Fine clothesline by Citizen Davis” “It knocked that crazy bastard on his ass!” Riley states in agreement as the challenger struggles to get back to his feet. A smile flashes across the face of Sean Davis for the first time in the match. As Carnage finally reaches his feet Davis awaits him. The champion quickly slips behind his opponent and locks his wrists around the challengers’ waist. The masked man attempts to block the expected suplex but before he can lock his leg with the champion Sean Davis hits him with a punishing German release suplex. The challenger lands awkwardly on his neck as the crowd cheers the move. “Holy cow, Batman!”, Cyclone exclaims. “Citizen Davis just executed a brilliant German suplex that appears to have Carnage stunned” “That’s putting it mildly” Robert Riley quips. “Carnage bounced higher than Mary Lou Retton on amphetamines.” Sean Davis searches the ring as Carnage begins to recover from the Suplex. He finally finds his steel chain and it enthusiastically. “Looks like business is picking up!” Robert Riley gushes as Davis makes his way to his opponent. The champion quickly steps behind the masked man and wraps the thick chain around his neck. He smiles widely as he begins to choke the life out of the challenger. “Gadzooks” Cyclone Comet blurts as Carnage struggles to free himself from his current predicament. “Stick a fork in him, he’s done” Riley chuckles as he takes a long drink from his soda. The referee approaches carnage and asks himi if he wants to submit. He gets to reply as he masked man desperately struggles against the chain. Outside the ring Marcus Washington is screaming for the referee to stop the match. The referee raises Carnages left arm to check for consciousness. The arm falls lifelessly to his side. ONE! After a moment he again raises the arm. It again falls down. TWO “Citizen Carnage made a gallant effort, but it appears to have been in vain!” Cyclone Comet states in a somber tone as the referee raises the challengers arm for a third time. It begins to fall but stops half way which draws a cheer from the crowd and a look of derision from his opponent. Carnage bulls his way to his feet and fires a series of sharp elbows to the gut of the champion. The chain comes loose as Carnage fires several stiff punches to Sean Davis that rock the big man. The crowd rises to their feet as Carnage and Davis swap blows in the center of the ring. Carnage fires a series of powerful right hands that Knocks Davis back a few feet. As the champion appears Stunned Carnage grabs his arm and whips him to the ropes. Davis bounces back only to be greeted by a Sized 14 triple E to the face. Davis hits the mat as The crowd cheers wildly. “Something tells me the tide is turning in the match” Cyclone Comet exclaims as Robert Riley stares intently At the action in the ring. “Sean Davis will not loose to this guy!” Riley assures Comet, although his voice betrays his uncertainty. Outside the ring Marcus Washington is jumping around wildly as Sean Davis is clearly in trouble in the match. The diminutive manager searches the ringside area and finally finds Davis’ chain lying near the steel guardrail. Carnage grabs Davis by the head and pulls him up to his knees. He locks his opponents head under his arm and grabs onto the champions dark blue tights. In one quick motion he hoists Davis high into the air as the crowd cheers. CRASH Carnage slams Davis skull first to the mat in a perfectly executed stalling Brain Buster. The champion convulses on the mat at the impact as Carnage goes for the pin. ONE TWO THR---No! Marcus Washington rolls into the ring and fires several quick kicks at Carnage. He attack does little to damage the masked man but does succeed in breaking up the pin-fall attempt. The crowd rains a chorus of boo’s on Washington as he quickly bails out from the ring. The furious Carnage quickly follows his cowardly attacker, much to the audience’s delight. YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU SUCK As Washington rolls out of the ring he turns his attention to the crowd and begins verbally blasting them for their disrespect. Washington keeps one eye on the approaching Carnage as he berates the audience. As Carnage approaches he holds tight to Sean Davis’ steel chain—which he conveniently tucked into his suit coat. In the center of the ring Sean Davis’ rises to his feet as he attempts to clear the cobwebs from the devastating Brain Buster. He catches a glimpse of Carnage standing by the ropes across the ring from him. Carnage grabs Washington by the collar of his suit coat and pulls him to the ring apron. The wily personal lawyer to Sean Davis quickly removes the steel chain and clocks Carnage between the eyes with it. The impact stuns the SWF resident maniac and allows for Washingtons’ speedy escape. “What shenanigans!” Cyclone yells as the Washington bails off the ring apron with chain-in-hand. “Washington just hit Carnage with Sean Davis’ chain!” As Carnage is wobbled Davis slips behind him and trips him up for a quick pin fall attempt. The champion grabs the tights to secure the pin. ONE TWO TWO AND A HALF THRE….No! Carnage kicks out a split second before the count. “Tremendous escape!” Cyclone Comet exclaims as Davis’ face is a mask of frustration. The champion fires a sharp kick to Carnages head as he struggles to get to his feet. Davis clamps a Full Nelson on Carnage and nails him with a devastating Full Nelson atomic drop. The impact rocks The challenger as Davis quickly wraps him up for a cover ONE TWO THR—No! Again Carnage kicks out as the champions face clearly shows the frustration from the seesaw match-up. “Another close call” Cyclone Comet screams as Robert Riley takes a bite from his hot dog. “You should try one of these”, Robert Riley calmly replies as he continues to enjoy the culinary treats from Franks-A-Lot. “No thanks”, Comet replies as he is caught up in the action. “I’ll leave the wieners for you” Sean Davis lands a wild kick to the back of Carnages head. He pulls the masked man to his feet and spins him around as the adrenaline begins to flow. He fires A series of stiff punches as Carnage is clearly rocked. The champion nails Carnage with a high knee to the abdomen which doubles over his opponent. Davis gut wrenches Carnage to a Canadian backbreaker position and performs his trademark Cyclone Driver. CRASH The ring shakes as Carnage is driven hard to the mat. A smile flashes over Sean Davis face as Marcus Washington screams encouragement at him from outside the ring. Davis quickly rolls to his knee’s and covers his opponent. ONE TWO TWO AND A HALF THRE…..No!! Carnage kicks out of the Cyclone driver! “Merciful Zeus!!!” Comet screams as the crowd at the Pond rises in their seats. Robert Riley is speechless as Sean Davis can not believe Carnage has survived his finisher. Davis wastes little time as he pulls Carnage to his feet. He wraps his arm around his opponents head in an apparent set up for a DDT. Carnage locks his arms around Davis waist and nails him with a Spine Buster. The champion hits the mat in pain as Carnage falls to his knees as well. Outside the ring Marcus Washington desperately looks for a weapon. He runs to the ring announcer and shoves him from his chair as the crowd quickly gets on his case. ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! Washington grabs the steel folding chair and steps onto the ring apron as the crowd continues to admonish him. “Marcus Washington is a genius”, Robert Riley gushes. Sean Davis beats Carnage to his feet as the challenger still appears groggy from the Cyclone Driver. Washington tosses the chair to “The Perfect Storm” as Carnage begins to get up. Davis picks up the chair and takes aim at his opponent. “This one is in the books” Robert Riley predicts as Davis’ takes a swing at Carnage with the chair. WHIFF Carnage sidesteps the chair as Davis misses by a mile. The challenger fires a punishing kick to the gut which knocks the chair to the mat. Carnage quickly catches the Champion in a front face lock and drops him head first onto the steel chair with a Face-Buster. The crowd cheers as Carnage wraps up the champion ONE TWO TWO AND A HALF “No!” Screams Marcus Washington from outside the ring. THREE!! The fans cheer wildly as the referee signals for the bell. DING DING DING “Incredible finish” Cyclone Comet exclaims as Riley shakes his head dejectedly. “The time of the match 27 minutes and 42 seconds…The winner…and NEEEWWW SWF HARDCORE GAMERS Champion…CAAAAARNAGE!!!” “Citizen Carnage has defied the odds and defeated Sean Davis for the SWF Hardcore gamers championship”. Comet exclaims as Robert Riley seems lost for words. “He has completed his journey from social Outcasts to SWF Hardcore gamers champion!” “This is a travesty”, Riley finally states in a dejected tone. “What kind of champion is this guy going to make?” As SWF Smarkdown goes to commercial Carnage is seen standing midrope On the corner ringpost glaring at the crowd.

Danny Dagda, Uncle FIlthy, and Evan Wolfe are standing in the ring, when suddenly Tom Flesher's term paper comes out of nowhere and jobs them all out to Mr. Galatea. Ebony comes out and announces that she's the new #1 contender to the womens' title, and kicks everybody in the balls, and then urry'body's balls gettin' tipsy. Fuck no-showers, man.

We return to the Arrowhead Pond, where much of the crowd hoist up their obtrusive signs, and others settle down for the next match. As always, those two lovable scamps Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley are here to call the match... "(Comet) Welcome back to Smarkdown from Anaheim! Next up we bring you Stryke, who came back into the waiting arms of the SWF--" "(Riley) How many returns does that make that now?" "(Stryke) Oh, eight or nine, I'm sure. Anyhow, he returned a few shows ago, while his opponent, Manson, defeated the returning Ann Onita on Lockdown in somewhat of an upset." "(Riley) I'm rooting for Stryke, but something has to be said for Manson luring Annie to the outside to deliver the Consequences and picking up the win easily afterward. I really, really enjoyed that…" "(Comet) I'm sure you did… While yours truly didn't exactly appreciate it, I suppose Manson did what he had to. I'd have preferred he win the match fair and square in the ring, but I'm sure frustration has set in as of recent, and he wanted to make a statement." "(Riley) And he'll get the chance to, should he be able to defeat Mr. Stryke." "(Comet) IF that's even Stryke's real name…". The house lights dim, bringing the crowd to attention, and multi-colored strobes flash as Mastodon's "Crusher Destroyer" blasts from the speakers. Manson emerges from the back to a big ovation, throwing up a fist in the air in stride, afterward heading down the ramp. "(Funyon) Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Denver, Colorado -- weighing in at two-hundred and thirty pounds, and standing six feet even! MMMAAAAAAANNNNSOOONNNNN!" Manson approaches the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope, popping up to his feet. He takes his corner in the lower right side of the ring and waits. While the cheers for Manson continue, a hush washes over the crowd as a massive wall of blue and silver pyrotechnics fires up across the stage. Cypress Hill's "How I Could Just Kill A Man" then kicks into action as Stryke steps out onto the stage! The crowd rises to their feet and unleashes a torrent of boos, as Stryke slowly saunters his way down the ramp, soaking up the crowd's hatred as he hits the ring and climbs up onto the ring apron. The Australian pauses to look out into the crowd, and as the chorus to his theme hits, Stryke steps onto the second turnbuckle and raises his arms to the crowd, further drawing their ire as Funyon commences the introductions. "(Funyon) And his opponent, hailing from Sydney, Australia -- weighing in at two-hundred and twenty four pounds, and standing six feet, three inches tall! STRRRRRRYYYKE!" Stryke steps down off the turnbuckle and hops over the top rope and into the ring, casually leaning back on the ropes as he stares down Manson and vice versa. Funyon quickly hightails it out of the ring and the referee for tonight, Matt Kivell, calls for the bell… ::DING DING!:: Manson and Stryke emerge from their corners, their gaze locked onto one another, as they come together with punches, Manson making first contact. Stryke is knocked to the ground after the exchange and gets right back up, and Manson engages him in a lock up. Planting his feet and going low, Manson doesn't give Stryke a chance to use his height advantage, as he begins to push Stryke back a few steps, into the ropes. Stryke regains control in the ropes, though, as he turns Manson around. Stryke brings his arm upward, fist clenched, and hits Manson with a European uppercut to the face. Manson's head snaps back, and Stryke then hits him with a quick jab to the face. "(Comet) Manson and Stryke come out swinging, but it's Stryke with the advantage!" "(Riley) As if there was any doubt…" Manson lays against the ropes, and Stryke pulls him off, attempting to go for a whip. Manson stands his ground, though, and reverses the whip on Stryke. He springs off the opposite ropes on the entrance aisle side, and Manson lowers his shoulders. Stryke approaches Manson, and Manson lifts him up high into the air, tossing him overhead with a back body drop! Stryke bounces off the mat and quickly rolls outside the ring, looking to regain his composure. "(Comet) And Citizen Manson hits the first big move of the match, dropping Stryke with a back body drop!" Manson follows Stryke to the outside, but Stryke quickly evades him, making his way south, toward the near camera side of the ring. He rolls into the ring and Manson follows, reentering from where he left in the first place, but Stryke runs toward Manson, leaps into the air and extends his legs, hitting Manson with a dropkick! Manson hits the mat but is back up quickly, but not quick enough as Stryke chop blocks Manson, bringing him down to the mat. Manson rolls over onto his knees, and Stryke runs his arms underneath Manson's arms, locking his hands behind the neck of Manson and placing him in a full nelson! "(Comet) Chop block by Stryke, fully aware of Manson's bum knee, followed by a full nelson… attempting to wear him down." "(Riley) It's truthfully the best thing you can do against Manson, as you don't want him on his feet, free to swing away." Manson doesn't let Stryke keep the hold locked in for long, as he twists his body and swings his arms, hitting Stryke with an elbow. Manson does the same one more time, hitting Stryke with another elbow, just enough to loosen his grip. Manson slips out of Stryke's grip, enough so that he can face up Stryke and hit him with a punch to the face. Manson hits Stryke with another fist as he gets one foot planted on the ground, and finally another as he gets to his feet. "(Comet) Of course, wearing Manson down and keeping him on the ground is only good if you don't let him escape." With Stryke reeling, Manson goes into a behind waistlock on Stryke. Manson heaves him upward, only for Stryke to block by sandbagging him. Manson releases Stryke and pounds on the back of his neck with a hard forearm, followed by another, and another. Manson again waistlocks Stryke, and is able to get him up this time, as Manson plants him with a thunderous German Suplex! Manson bridges, and Kivell heads down to count. "(Comet) Bridging German by Manson!!!" "ONE!!" "TW--!" But he can only get a one and a half count as Stryke kicks out!!!! Manson gets to his feet as does Stryke, and Manson charges in, hitting him with a knee to the gut. With Stryke keeling over from the shot, Manson elbows him in the back of the neck, forcing him down to his knees. While holding Stryke in place, Manson raises his knee up to face level and brings it down across Stryke's forehead, viciously scraping it against his metal knee brace! Kivell warns Manson, only to be brushed off as he goes back to Stryke, who comes up to his feet in the upper left corner. "(Riley) Hey! That's agianst the rules!" "(Comet) Certainly you would have no problem if Stryke did it…" Manson pursues Stryke and gets a kick to the stomach for his trouble, followed by another, knocking Manson back a few steps and down onto a knee. Running forward, Stryke leaps and steps off the knee of Manson, connecting with an enxiguiri with his other foot! Manson goes down, and Stryke goes for a cover. "(Comet) Step-Up Enziguiri by Stryke!!" "ONE!" However, Manson kicks out at one! Stryke shoots up from the mat, and he stomps on Manson's chest repeatedly, ending the attack by jumping up and stomping on Manson's chest with both of his feet. Manson rolls over onto his side, grabbing his chest, as Stryke bends down to lift him off the mat. Manson puts a halt to that, however, by tripping Stryke up by the legs. Stryke hits the mat face first, and Manson mounts him, proceeding to hit him with forearms to the neck and head. "(Comet) Manson unleashing the fury on Stryke, going with what he knows best…" Manson stands and yanks Stryke up by the arm. Wrapping his handa around the waist and locking his hands behind Stryke's back, Manson prepares to lift Stryke for a belly to belly suplex, however Stryke simply pokes Manson in the eye, forcing Manson to release Stryke. Manson escapes and makes his way toward the lower left corner, and Stryke charges in, but seeing Stryke out of his good eye, Manson brings his boot up and leans into the kick, wrecking Stryke's shit with a big boot! He goes for a cover! "(Comet) Manson with a vicious boot to Stryke's face!" "(Riley) Oh, Stryke… Poor, careless Stryke…" "ONE!!" "TWOOOO!" STRYKE KICKS OUT AT TWO! Manson comes to a stand and pulls Stryke up with him, choosing to smack him with a forearm to the jaw. Manson then hits another, forcing Stryke into ropes, near camera side. Manson takes him by the hand the whips him across the ring. Stryke springs off the ropes as Manson waits in the center of the ring, but Stryke takes away Manson's next plan of attack by leaping across the ring and hitting a flying forearm to the face! "(Comet) Stryke with a flying forearm!" Manson gets back up to his feet, met by Stryke who hits him with a boot to the stomach, sending Manson down to a knee. As Manson stands back up, Stryke leaps up onto Manson's shoulders. He punches away at Manson, leaning back for a hurracanrana, but Manson is a step ahead of him as he grabs Stryke by the waist and brings him down with a powerbomb! "(Comet) A powerbomb by Manson off the attempted hurracanrana by Stryke!" Manson raises an arm, inciting a round of cheers from the fans, as he heads out to the apron and scales the upper right turnbuckle. Stryke begins to stir on the mat below, as Manson raises his fist again, and leaps into the air! Manson turns and flexes his arm, extending it outward, as he descends rapidly toward the mat… "(Comet) Manson taking flight! A flying elbow, coming up!!" And he eats dirt as Stryke moves out of the way of the elbow! "(Comet) Manson misses the Savage Elbow!!" "(Riley) This match is Stryke's to win now!" Stryke gets up to his feet, Manson standing just after him, and Stryke wraps his arm around the head of Manson, dropping down with a DDT! Manson's head bounces off the mat, and Stryke goes for a cover… "ONE!!!" "TWOOOO!!!" "THR-- NOOOO!!!!!" "(Comet) MANSON! MANSON KICKS OUT!" Stryke slaps the mat in frustration, as he pulls Manson up to his feet, but Manson leaps up off the ground and leans back, grabbing onto Stryke's head, and Stryke pushes him off toward the ropes before Manson can hit the Consequences!! Manson bounces off the ropes, and Stryke kicks him in the stomach. Manson goes down to a knee, as Stryke pulls Manson's arm in between his legs, and hooks the remaining arm. Stryke lifts Manson up onto his shoulders, but Manson slides out of Stryke's grip before he can complete the Low End Theory a.k.a. the Pumphandle Piledriver! "(Comet) Manson escapes the Low End Theory!" With a grunt, Manson lifts Stryke up onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry. Manson lets out a scream, as he swings Stryke around, and absolutely spikes Stryke headfirst into the mat, as Manson goes for a cover! Kivell dives down for the count! "(Comet) Oh, my… I've never seen Manson do that before…" "(Riley) … Dammit!" "ONE!!!" "TWOOOO!" "THREEE!" ::DING DING!:: "(Funyon) Your winner, by pinfall… MMMMMAANNNNNSOONNNNN!" "Crusher Destroyer" hits, as Manson lays back on the mat, a smile across his face as he hears his theme in the background and feels Kivell raising his hand. "(Comet) Manson defeats Stryke with an apparently new move, picking up another big win!" "(Riley) Well… I can't fault Stryke for trying… Well, I can and want to… So, damn you Stryke for not putting away Manson!" "(Comet) We shall be back with more Smarkdown, after this…"

The Smarktron screen goes white as the opening chord of 'Rookie' by Boy Sets Fire crashes out over the arena. The screen darkens and as it hits black the familiar slogan flashes up one word at a time in jagged white letters: 'PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG...' As the guitar riff starts the black screen shifts and becomes the top of a spiky-haired head that raises and stares out with piercing grey eyes before a lopsided grin creases the right-hand side of Toxxic's face. The bass drum starts and clips of his matches flash up - the All-Show Brawl with the Insane Luchador, the infamous Glass Jawbreaker on Aecas, dropping Nathaniel Kibagami on his head with the Caffeine Bomb and the Super Intoxxication that won him the World Title - before moving onto footage of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the four blast of red pyro that climb the entrance ramp before the final, stagewide eruption as the main riff starts- *BAM-BAM-BAM-bap-BOOOM!!* -that signifies the arrival of the SWF's premier straight-edger! The smoke drifts for a couple of seconds before it is parted by the arrival of Toxxic, World Title slung over one shoulder and Jet at his side. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Toxxic rolls into the ring and stands in the centre for a moment or two, then just a the first verse is about to begin he throws his arms wide, palms down, and each turnbuckle explodes with more red pyro! *bap-bap* *BOOOM!!* 'I never thought this could be me, I guess you never do until it's happening to you Like all the fun turns into shame And all the 'could-have-beens' rearrange...' “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” The World Heavyweight Champion looks around the Arrowhead Stadium and sighs as he takes the mic from Funyon. It seems the fans in Anaheim are no more imaginative than those anywhere else in the US. “I’ve made three successful defences of this belt now,” he tells the crowd. “That’s more than anyone else has made this calendar year. I’ll accept that fact that you don’t like me, whether it’s because you’re envious of my success, because you like the wrestlers I’ve beaten or whether it’s because I’m simply not a nice person,” he flashes his trademark lopsided grin, “but I don’t think you can make a strong case that I ‘suck’.” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “OK, so common sense isn’t a strong point,” the Straight-Edge Sensation concedes. “Regardless, I’ve come out here to make a couple of points of my own.” [“You see Comet, this is what I came to see,” Riley informs his broadcast partner.] [“Robert, I don’t want to know about you and Toxxic’s points...”] “First of all, it’s time to look to the future,” Toxxic states. “Revolution Zero is going strong with Spike as former Cruiserweight and Tag Team champion and a shot at getting the Cruiser title back tonight; Sean as two-time Hardcore champion and former Tag Team champion; and of course myself as two-time World Heavyweight champion, not to mention a couple of ICTV and Hardcore reigns.” Toxxic stops briefly to flash another grin, and the crowd are quick to let him know their feelings on the matter. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “But the second thing I want to talk about is the past,” Toxxic says. “Namely, how it is overshadowing the present. We all saw it during the build-up to Genesis V, and on the Pay-Per-View itself. Was the hype there for the Tag Title match? No. Was it there for John Duran’s last ever appearance? No. Was it even there for the World Heavyweight Championship bout? I don’t think so. “Instead, despite the tight time constraints all talent were informed about, the two people who got the chance to speak in the middle of the ring were ‘Grand Slam’ Mark Stevens...” “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “...and Edwin MacPhisto.” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!” “Two retired wrestlers!” Toxxic shouts over the crowd response. “Two washed-up has-beens who were placed in a match with yet another long-time absentee, the Suicide King, and his partner Chris bloody Raynor! That was the match that got the big exposure from this company; not surprising since although King and Mark can’t seem to decide who runs it they still want to pimp themselves at every opportunity!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “It happened last year too!” Toxxic continues. “I sat and watched it in Nottingham! Ooh look it’s Genesis, time to drag all the retirees out and put them in high-profile matches over and above the people who actually worked their arses off all bloody year! Edwin came back and got his neck broken by Silent, and although King and Mark managed to actually restrain themselves from getting in the ring they were still at the heart of it all. And it’s still going on,” the straight-edger continues. “King vs Mark, Hell In A Cell, Ashes 2 Ashes and maybe this time one of them will just die of boredom and leave the rest of us in peace.” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” [“This is a shameless attack on the people who have been the cornerstone of this federation for years!” Comet says, appalled. “Oh, and King as well.”] [“Personally I think Toxxic has a very good point,” Riley notes. “Except the bit about King, of course.”] “But last week on Lockdown, one very pertinent piece of the past seemed to catch up with me,” Toxxic says. There is a momentary pause - then: “SIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...” “SIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...” “Well done, you guessed it,” the Straight-Edge Sensation congratulates the fans ironically. “Nathaniel motherfucking Kibagami, trying his best to reach out and overshadow me again. Unfortunately,” Toxxic adds, “something doesn’t add up. No-one saw Nathan last week, and I’ve asked around... and no-one’s seen him since, either.” “SIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...” “SIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...” “You can keep chanting if you like,” Toxxic tells the audience. “I don’t think it’ll do any good. If it is Nathaniel Kibagami come back then he doesn’t take orders from anyone... but my personal belief is it’s just someone screwing around. And believe me,” the Straight-Edge Sensation continues, biting out the words, “when I find out who that someone is they will be sorry.” [“You see?” Riley says confidently, “I knew Kibagami wasn’t back!”] [“As I recall Robert, you had to change your underwear directly after the show,” Comet responds.] [“That’s just good hygiene!”] “But there’s one more person who returned on Lockdown that I have a slight issue with,” Toxxic states, “and that man is the only competitor in the SWF who has ever beaten me in a singles match without me subsequently defeating him at some point. Now, that man knows who he is... and I’d like to see him out here right now.” The crowd have grown quieter over Toxxic’s last two sentences, as several of them try hard to remember whom the World Champion might be talking about. Half-a-dozen teenage males in the front few rows who are wearing ‘www.PandaNews.net’ shirts seem to have an idea, but for the rest of the crowd... “...need something to refresh your memories?” the Straight-Edge Sensation asks. “He was there to see Thugg rise, then fall again. He was there to see the SJL fold. And back in February, he was there to see a rookie called Toxxic fail to get a shot at the Cruiserweight Title.” [“But that could only mean-” Comet begins] “Alan Clark, would you please drag your hippy backside out here?” Toxxic asks, turning to face the entrance ramp. A few moments pass. Then: ‘Pardon me, while I burst- *BOOOM!!* -intooo-oooo flames... “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The opening notes of ‘Pardon Me’ by Incubus ring out over the PA system as Alan Clark’s face appears on the Smarktron, and sure enough as the pyro explodes the man from Long Beach steps out and takes in the crowd for a few moments before racing down to the ring as the Arrowhead Stadium welcomes the last surviving Wayward Son! Clark calls for a microphone and gets one, then turns to the World Champion. “Way back in February, huh?” Clark says, smirking at the Straight-Edge Sensation. “Y’know Toxxic, I’ve always been proud of that win, especially since you’ve been shooting up the card. But you know, I’ve been wondering lately what would happen if we squared off again.” He raises an eyebrow at Toxxic. “I suppose you’ve been thinking the same thing?” “Clark, as I headed up the SWF I kept a close eye on you,” Toxxic tells him, “watching you swing from psycho hippy to fun-lovin’ rock ‘n’ roller to Bloodshed or Apostle or whichever other half-arsed persona you wanted to be at that moment in time. I watched you put together a bunch of losers to form the Boy Scouts and then spectacularly fail at everything you tried. And all the while, as these people cheered you on,” Toxxic waves one hand unflatteringly at the Anaheim crowd, “I resolved one thing. “To never, ever be like you.” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “A few things have changed since you left, Alan,” Toxxic tells Clark, holding up the World Heavyweight Championship. “This, for one. I’m now two-time World Champion, and a hell of a lot different to the guy you beat in February. I’ve set the record straight against everyone else I’ve ever faced, but I never had the chance to rectify things against you... until now.” “You’re telling me that one loss has been bothering you all this time?” Clark laughs. “Toxx, I know how to be intense with the best of them - and just ask Landon if you don’t believe me - but that’s something else!” “No, it’s not the loss,” Toxxic informs him, stepping closer. “It’s the fact that I lost to you, you loved-up, dumbed-down piece of beach trash.” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “If you want to find out how ‘loved-up’ I am, then just keep talking,” Clark tells Toxxic, the smirk dropping from his face. “My schedule’s free for Storm, so if you want to put your money where your mouth is then let’s go for it! I wasn’t scared of Thugg, and I’m certainly not scared of you!” “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “LET’S GO AL-AN!” *clap clap clap-clap-clap* “LET’S GO AL-AN!” *clap clap clap-clap-clap* Toxxic stares at the white-clad man facing him in the middle of the ring. And slowly, the right-hand side of his face creases upwards into the familiar lopsided grin. “Alan?” The World Champion cracks his neck from side-to-side, then returns his gaze to the former Cruiserweight champion and leans forward. “...Prepare To Be Proved Wrong.” Toxxic turns away from Alan Clark, drops the microphone and rolls out of the ring with Jet in tow. Clark glares after the straight-edger as he walks up the ramp, but Toxxic doesn’t look back as we FADE OUT

Comet: "And welcome back to Smarkdown, were we are moments away from our opening match of the season. Which, curiously enough, is a preview of Ashes II Ashes, as the Intercontinental Television Champion Max King takes on the rightful champion Max King in non-title action. Robert, care to share any light on Suicide King's mindset for making this match?" Riley: "Well...you saw it on Lockdown Comet. Max King WANTS Landon Maddix in the ring, so obviously Max can't wait until Ashes II Ashes. That's the way I see it." Comet: "I'd imagine tha...oh, wait a minute. Look who's entering the ring..." Complete with her "Women's Championship" belt, Kelly Connelly enters the ring and grabs the microphone from Funyon before he can get chance to even say a word. Funyon doesn't look to happy, but doesn't want none of the most dominant Women's Champion in SWF history, so backs off. "So this is Anaheim, California, huh?" "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" "Riiiight. Let's get one thing perfectly clear. If I were you, I wouldn't be so proud of being from Anaheim...because as a true champion, it's clear to me that this city's sport franchises are all embarrassments. But, don't worry. As tonight, here for your viewing pleasure, I introduce a TRUE sports franchise. Someone who, like me, has an eye for gold and a champion's instincts. He is YOUR S W F Intercontinental Television Champion of the WORLD! Stand up, and help me welcome "THE ICON"...MAX KIIIINNGGGG!!!" *BOOOOOOOOOM!* "Superstar" by Saliva blares through the arena, as through the curtains walks Max King...with the SWF Intercontinental Television Championship belt sat proudly over his shoulder once more. A big grin adorns King's face, as he stops on the stage and raises his belt proudly in the air with Kelly watching on and applauding from the ring. But her applause soon turns to horror when the curtains ripple again, with Landon Maddix charging out and wiping King out from behind with a clothesline!! Riley: "Hey! What the hell!?!" "YEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!" The crowd pop, as King rolls about halfway down the ring before he finally comes to a stop, getting back to his feet only for Maddix to charge in and smash him in the jaw with a forearm! *DING DING DING!* And this match is underway! Maddix continues the onslaught with a series more forearms, rocking King gradually down the rampway until the two men are on the level concrete ground. At which point, Maddix grabs King by the arm and whips him forward into the steel barricade, which bounces King back and causes him to stumble uncontrolably backwards into Maddix grip again. This time, the former ICTV Champion turns the current champ around and rolls him into the ring. Meanwhile, as this goes on, Megan Skye is strolling down the aisle, watching her man pepper King with some more forearms. Comet: "Citizen Maddix on FIRE here, coming out swinging here tonight. You know he has a lot of scores to settle with Max King." Riley: "This is totally unfair! Maddix jumped King before the bell...before he'd even finished posing!" Comet: "Well, lord knows King likes to pose." Riley: "Quit changing the subject! This is terrible!" King has been caught off guard and is now wobbling around the ring, while Maddix breaks away and runs off the ropes. Out of instincts King throws a clothesline, only for Maddix to duck underneath and hit the opposite ropes. Again here comes Maddix, but this time King connects with a back elbow that snaps Maddix's head back violently to groans from the fans, before he comes to a skidding halt and slumps to the canvas. Quickly Max is on Maddix, making the cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! King glares at referee Soapdish, as he pulls Maddix up by the hair. Which is quite a job as Maddix is now dead-weight, hardly able to stand on his own power as blood begins to trickle down his nose quite fiercely. King sees that and obviously goes straight to the weakened body part, targetting the nose with a big right hand. Maddix stumbles back a series of steps, clearly dis-orientated. Meanwhile, King charges away and hits the ropes, launching back with a Yakuza kick that catches Maddix square in the face! Down goes Landon, leaving the ICTV Champion with time to pose for the jeering Anaheim crowd. Comet: "King looks pretty pleased with himself now." Riley: "So he should be. After all, he is the Champ." Meanwhile, the former champ is not looking pleased...as he finally notices the blood oozing from his nose. But before he can do anything about it, King charges in and drives a knee into the gut that doubles Maddix over. Quick as a flash, King follows that up with a kneelift that snaps Maddix's head upwards and leaves him wide open for a big King clothesline. Again Maddix hits the mat hard and stays there, as King looks out towards Kelly and smiles, as if to say 'this is too easy'. But his confidence is soon to be shattered, as Maddix suddenly pops up! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Be it adrenaline, reserve energy, anger or whatever...something clicks inside Maddix and gives him the energy to spin King around and offload with a rapid flurry of quick punches! Lefts and rights rain down on King, who desperately tries to cover up. But still Maddix fires away! So King thinks quickly and crouches down, charging forward and lifting Maddix up onto his shoulder before continuing his charge towards the corner. Maddix is just as quick thinking though and manages to float over King's back, causing him to charge harmlessly sternum first into the turnbuckles! Back staggers King, into a schoolboy by Maddix... ONE! T... No, Maddix doesn't want the win yet! Instead he pushes up onto his toes and starts to fire off some more right hands on the propped King, until he struggles away and back up to his feet. But as soon as he's up, here comes Maddix again with a boot to the gut. King pushes Maddix away, trying to buy himself a little time. Maddix rolls through the push though, getting right back to his feet and running at Maddix...smashing him in the face with a palm strike as he runs past. On Maddix runs, leaping to the middle rope majestically on his way and turning towards King who is busy rubbing his jaw. Rushing past him, Maddix bounces off the ropes and leaps over King, pulling him down with The Throwback! But again, no cover follows as Maddix leaps to his feet and stomps away on the fallen ICTV Champion. Riley: "What is he doing? This isn't a match to this goof, this is just a chance to beat poor Max up!" Comet: "Can you blame him, after King's actions recently?" Riley: "Yes!" Comet: "Well, there's no ICTV Championship for Citizen Maddix to fight for tonight, so he might as well focus on softening his opponent up before Ashes II Ashes." Struggling to his feet once more, King staggers away from Maddix who is continuing to move in with some stiff forearms. Each forearm that connects draws a pleased 'OOOH' from the fans, 'OOOH's which prompt Maddix to continue on the offensive. King eventually counters a forearm with a boot to the gut, before grabbing Maddix and hurling him towards the corner. Maddix blocks a shoulder first collision with the ringpost however, quickly whipping back around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOO!" ...and nailing a stinging knifedge chop! King clutches his chest as Maddix quickly goes to the gut with a knee, before pulling King's head back and whipping around with the Landon Eye, driving King's head into the canvas. Kelly Connelly has meanwhile seen enough and quickly reaches into the ring, grabbing her man's arm and attempting to pull him from the ring. Comet: "Kelly Connelly, getting involved again! That's all we need, more controversy!" But before she can get Max out of the ring, Maddix reaches out of the ring and swipes at Kelly. Luckily for her looks he misses, but unluckily for her Megan Skye is right around the ring to chase Kelly off, preventing her from helping Max again. Off scuttles Kelly, as back in the ring the ICTV Champion is pulled back off the canvas and drilled with a forearm strike...and a second. By now, the forearms are taking their toll and King's eyes are beginning to look a lot less focused, while his legs are struggling to hold him up. Another forearm from Maddix rocks his opponent into the ropes, where he stays, with the ropes holding him up. Landon quickly grabs King though, pulling him out from the ropes and whipping him across the ring. Back shoots King, looking for a clothesline which Maddix ducks...only for King to put on the brakes and knee him in the back, following it up with a hard kick to the head! Riley: "There's the Complex. Heart of a champion Comet, heart of a champion!" Comet: "Pity it needs a certain part owner to act as it's pacemaker..." Still bleeding from the nose, Maddix grabs his head with a grimace as King stands over him and poses as his own aching head will best allow him...before turning his attentions back to Maddix. With a handful of hair, King drags Maddix from the canvas and pushes him back against the turnbuckles. King follows in and crushes Maddix in the corner with a clothesline, before backing off and waiting for him to stagger out. Eventually he does, with King quickly grabbing him and driving a headbutt firmly across the bridge of Maddix's nose. The force dis-orientates Maddix, as quickly King wraps on a waistlock from the front and executes an overhead belly to belly suplex. Maddix bounces off the mat, with King quickly makes a cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! King curses rather loudly at the fact that that didn't put Maddix away for the three count, as he goes to grab the former champion by the hair to continue his attack, lifting him up and even pulling some of Maddix's hair out the hard way as he lifts. When Maddix is back up onto his feet, King locks his arms around the neck of Maddix, locking it up and squeezing with all of his strength in a sleeper hold. "Oh, you can bet that this match is about to end, Comet!" Riley says. "Max King is just about ready to put Landon to sleep!" "It's a rare thing these days to see a match end on a sleeper hold, Riley. I don't think Maddix is going to let this happen..." Maddix continues to try and struggle out of the sleeper hold that King has locked onto him, but the look in his eyes is quickly starting to turn glassy and far away. King pulls the sleeper hold onto the mat, allowing for more of his body-weight to be pressing down into the move. The referee notices how Maddix is quickly slipping out of consciousness, and goes to check his arm. One Drop! "What did I tell you Comet? This match is over!" The referee checks the arm again, and the same reaction happens, bringing the drop count up to two now. "Landon Maddix may just be out of it for good...one more drop..." Comet notes as the referee goes to check the hand again. THREE...NO! As if charged by an Energizer battery, life comes back into the body of Maddix as he shoots one of his arms up into the sky, showing that there is still life left in his body. Maddix, fueled by adrenaline and the cheering of the capacity crowd, starts to fight up to his feet, fighting out of the body weight of King being pressed onto him, and finally gets back up into a vertical position. With King prone now, Maddix repeatedly rams his elbows into Max's gut area, and after the third elbow shot has broken free of the hold. He goes off the ropes, ready to hit King with something big to turn the tide of the match back into his favor, however as he comes off the ropes he's caught and powerslammed hard into the apron by the current ICTV champion. "Maddix should have just given up the match when he had the chance." Riley states. "Now King isn't going to be as merciful as he has been in the early goings of this match, and that will spell bad news for La Cucaracha!" With Maddix laid out in the middle of the ring with that powerslam, King sees the opportunity to hit something big to end this contest, and starts to climb up the ropes to the top turnbuckle. "Max King taking a chance here, it could pay off for him, but Landon Maddix could move and it could cost King big time!" King stands perched on the top rope proudly, flexing a bit to seemingly please the female portion of the crowd, before leaping off the top rope, nailing a picture-perfect elbow drop... ...that catches nothing but the ring apron, as Maddix is pulled out of the way just by an inch by Megan Skye, much to the delight of the crowd. "HEY! That's not what's supposed to happen!" Riley quickly protests. "Someone eject that hussy out from ringside!" "You weren't complaining about how Kelly would interfere in the matches like that, why are you showing a double standard in this case?" King holds his elbow in pain after he starts to get up onto his feet again, while on the other side of the ring Megan goes to try and get Maddix recovered again. King starts to try to walk over to the downed former ICTV Champion, but as he does Maddix springs into action, using his legs to drop King neck first onto the second ring rope. Maddix quickly gets back up onto his feet, and the crowd starts chanting loudly. MAD-DIX! MAD-DIX! MAD-DIX! "The crowd getting behind Maddix greatly now, and things are starting to look up for him. The former champion going off the ropes now....dial it up..." Maddix uses the top rope to spin between the top and middle rope now and nails King right in the face with a spinning style two-legged kick. "605!" "Ugh, I HATE that move!" Riley says with complete disgust in his voice. "Especially when used against someone with a great face like Max King!" Maddix sees this as a chance to get the win, and now he quickly climbs up to the top rope, and without wasting any time leaps off, hitting King in the chest and rolling with it, getting right back up to his feet once again. "Maddix with the Picture Perfect Kneedrop, and he's rolling right into the cover now!" One TWO! But King manages to power out of the pinning predicament, pushing Maddix away just enough to try and get up. Maddix manages to land on his feet when pushed off of his feet though, much to the elation of the crowd, and just waits for King to get back up to his feet again. "Maddix is feeling this match going his way now...he's so close to getting the win right now he can probably taste it! King up...Maddix charging!" Maddix shoots out his leg, apparently ready to hit King right in the mush with Sweet Disciple Music....however King shows he knew it was coming, and quickly falls back, seemingly accidentally pulling the referee right into the path of the kick and causing the man in the striped shirt to fall down to the mat like a ton of bricks! "Whew...that was just a little too close for comfort there. Leave it for that idiot referee to actually do something that he's good at..." Riley states. "Max King pulled the referee right into the line of fire, and now this match is easily going to be a hardcore match for these two!" Comet states. Maddix goes over to check on the referee, surprised at what just happened, looking concerned for the moment. While he does this though, he doesn't realize that Max King is getting a little...present...from Kelly on the outside of the ring. "And now Kelly handing King the ICTV Championship belt!" "All right, this is going to be good, I just know it!" Riley says. "Maddix wants that ICTV championship belt, and now he's going to get it right upside the head!" King takes the title belt and stands up with it in his hands, polishing it a bit, waiting for the right moment. As soon as Maddix turns around, King swings the belt right towards Maddix's face. However... "MADDIX DUCKS!" Comet calls. "Turning King around...kick that causes King to drop the belt...and DDT onto the ICTV Championship belt!" "NOO! That's now how it's supposed to...good, Kelly getting into the ring now!" Indeed, Kelly Connelly has slid into the ring now, taking off her Women's Championship belt and gets ready to hit Landon Maddix right in the back of the head with the title as hard as she can. As she raises the title belt above her head, however, Megan Skye dives into the ring and spears Kelly right out of her high heels! "Kelly and Megan fighting all the way out of the ring now, and Megan is showing the self-proclaimed Women's Champion exactly what she's made of!" "...what's Maddix doing picking up the ICTV Championship? That's not his title belt! He shouldn't be allowed to hold it!" "Tell that to Max King! Why is he grabbing Kelly's Women's Title belt?" Comet replies. The two combatants get ready now...setting up the respective title belts up for action. Neither are aware, however, that the referee is quickly starting to recover on the other side of the ring. And he looks up just in time to see as both Landon Maddix and Max King swing the respective title belts into the face of their opponent, knocking them both out cold. DING, DING, DING! The referee goes to inform Funyon of the result of the match...and Funyon quickly announces it as referees come out to break up the catfight outside of the ring between Kelly and Megan. Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen...due to both Landon Maddix and Max King using the title belts against each other the referee has ruled that this match is a double disqualification! There's a huge negative reaction for this, as both Kelly and Megan go to help their men out, the former of the two getting both title belts to make sure that they aren't used for the wrong purposes. "This match broke down rather quickly near the end, and apparently there are going to be big things to expect for the match between these two at Ashes to Ashes..." Comet notes. "Where Max King will STIL be the ICTV Champion. I'll guarantee it!" Riley. "We'll see...both combatants still down, and we have to take a break! We'll be back after this..." The camera fades out on the downed competitors.

"Wow, that was one crazy promo!" says Riley. "Say, that's where it's similar to this card, because this card is crazy!" Comet cries. THE CARD: MAIN EVENT SPECIAL VETERAN’SBOILER ROOM BRAWL Annie Eclectic vs. Jamie Drazon Wowza. This should be good. A lot of people will say that neither of these two should really be Main Eventing a show at this point in their careers. But hey, they’ve been around longer than you, so shut up. Annie Eclectic has just made (another) return the SWF, and this is her sole chance to get herself RIGHT BACK into the MAIN EVENT! Wow. Quite a leap, there. Of course, the task set before her is impossible and everything, so that’s a minor problem. She must defeat the most Hardcore motherfucker (arguably) in SWF history, Jamie Drazon, and in a Boiler Room Brawl no less. If Annie loses, then I suppose she’s not quite ready and will have to take the long road up, but if she wins, she’s got herself lined up for a quick trip to the top of the card. Prove it to us all, oh flipping one. Rules: Both competitors start out in a dark, creepy, and all-around dangerous Boiler Room. Make up the backstage area as you wish. The wrestlers must make there way to the ring, using whatever means necessary to stop their opponent from doing the same. First one to enter through the ropes and into the center of the ring where Funyon is waiting with a blue ribbon that says “#1!” on it wins the match. You know you want that ribbon. CRUISER-WEIGHT TITLE MATCH W/ TEAMMATE AT RING SIDE MATCH! “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins w/ Todd Cortez vs. Ryan Dustin w/ Austin Sly Figure this one out yourselves, people. Spike successfully pinned Dustin on Lockdown in a tag match involving these four competitors. Now they fight. With their tag team members at ringside though… this should get wacky~! And you know, these two have a bit of history… who will prevail and be the Cruiserweight Champion at the end of the night!?!? Rules: Standard Singles. Countouts and DQ’s are in effect. Sly and Cortez cannot interfere in the match ‘lest they want to get they’re partnah’s asses capped like a motherfuckah, and stuff. NON-TITLE BLOODBATH! Christian Fury vs. Ace Lezaire We’ve got a new US Champ… er, Canadian Champ, but since I hate all non-Leonard-Cohen Canadians, Ace has immediately been booked in a match against a bloodthirsty Christian Fury, who’s coming off a terrifying loss (of a title match, to boot) on Lockdown. OK. So there’s not much reason for this match. But they’re both very talented and trying to make the break from the midcard to the Main Event, so just let them kill each other, OK? Rules: What else? Standard-a-go-go. HARDCORE GAMER’S TITLE MATCH! Sean Davis vs. Carnage Carnage cashes in on his title match against the new champ. But even if he wins, as the match before this implies, it won’t be long before he’s got someone on his tail. Oh Hardcore Title, you’re all over the place! Rules: None, fools! SPECIAL SECOND-CHANCE HARDCORE GAMERS #1 CONTENDERSHIP TRIPLE THREAT! Danny Dagda vs. Evan Wolfe vs. Uncle Filthy Carnage promptly defeated all three of these men on Lockdown for a shot at the Hardcore Gamers Championship, but what’s this? In something that has never been done in SWF history, these three men will all have a second chance at that very title shot! These men know each other inside and out after last week’s match, and whoever wins either gets to (depending on who wins the HCG Title tonight) seek vengeance on Carnage or do what he could not do – defeat Sean Davis for the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship!! Rules: None. All three men in the ring at once. No DQ. No rope breaks. No count-outs. Etc. First man to gain a pin or a submission on an opponent is the #1 Contender. SINGLES MATCH Stryke vs. Manson Both talented writers with no foreseeable direction. The winner here could change that statement. Rules: Standard. EXCITEMENT! SPECIAL CELEBRITY HANDICAP MATCH OF DOOM! rKade and Kaine vs. Alec Baldwin, Daniel Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin, and Billy Baldwin What do The Flinstones 2: Viva Rock Vegas, Peanut M&M commercials, Bio-Dome, Dr. Seuss’ Cat In the Hat, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, Paparazzi, Active Stealth, Flatliners, Sliver, and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire guest appearances all have in common? Why, they’ve all involved the BALDWINS, of course! But at least those four don’t know-show. rKade and Kaine must throw something together here, or they retire forever, and whatnot. Rules: Tag match rules. One man in the ring at once. Special security at ringside, as Daniel is a raging alcoholic. SPECIAL EXCITING TWO-PEOPLE-WHO-SHOULD-BE-BOOKED-IN-THE-MAIN-EVENT SHOW OPENER! “The Icon” Max King vs. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix ~ Usually, a show opener includes the run-of-the-mill directionless newbies, but not tonight! Oh no! Tonight we’re starting off things with a bang! Two of the fed’s most talented writers go head-to-head and get the gears turning for SWF SMARKDOWN!! Rules: As standard as a standard match can possibly get.

Career average, maybe, but Ortiz has gotten bitchslapped by Rivera the last two or three times they've faced each other.