Chuck Woolery

You could use Calvin Szechstein as second announcer if you wish, too. I'll have a promo to explain my appearance on the show.

Okay... let's see. THE ENTRY ORDER: 1. Michael Craven 2. Mike Van Siclen 3. Manson 4. Dace Night 5. "The Notorious" John Duran 6. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins 7. Aecas 8. The Memphis Eel 9. Jacob Helmsley 10. Xero 11. Stryke 12. Insane Luchador 13. HVT 14. "Coyote" Coy West 15. Jimmy "The Demon" Liston 16. Todd Royal 17. Janus 18. Alan Clark 19. Johnny Dangerous 20. Charlie "Grappler" Matthews THE BETS Correctly guessing the first elimination; 10 points Correctly guessing the winner of the Clusterfuck; 10 points Correctly guessing who is pinned to end the match; 10 points Correctly guessing the final three; 5 points for one wrestler, 10 for two, 15 for all three Correctly guessing the final word count of the winning match-up; 5 points if within 2000 words, 10 points if within 1000 words, 15 points if within 500 words, 20 points if within 100 words, and 50 points if you guess the word count on the money. Correctly guessing the number of no-shows for Clusterfuck; 5 points if within two, 10 points if within one, 20 points for correctly guessing the number

SJP, if you read this and are upset, PM me -- I have my reasons for putting the show up. That said, hell of an effort from those who wrote. Credit for the Rumble goes mostly to Superstar, who did awesome, and then to Malibu and (if you're feeling generous) me. Sly pulled out an awesome match, the opener is good, the cage match was very nice... everything on this show was solid, probably my favorite overall show ever. Though Elimination Chamber still rules. I give thee a nine.

omgz king iz teh inspirationalz

My own bets... First Elimination: Manson Winner: Charlie "Grappler" Matthews Pinfall Scored On: Mike Van Siclen Final Three: Charlie "Grappler" Matthews, Mike Van Siclen, Janus Final Word Count: 22000 # of No Shows: Seven

Ooh, I like the set-up for the three big TNA wins next week. You know it's coming. You know it.

We fade in on Mike Van Siclen, sitting behind a polished oak desk. Van Siclen is unusually well dressed, with a black dress shirt and maroon tie to go with his black dress pants. The Spectacle grins, flipping on a conveniently placed television set with his remote and grinning at the camera. "Mike Van Siclen, here," he grins, "and welcome to what I like to call 'Mike Van Siclen Gives All Of You A Brief Reality Check'. You see, ladies and gents, I made myself a few promises a couple weeks ago... do you remember that? Well, I do, and if you don't, let's go to the videotape!" Play. January 1st, 2004 "Number three! I had hoped that I could accomplish this on March 7th, but after Twas The Fight that goal was thrust out of my reach. Tom Flesher!" Tom, in Raynor Station, suddenly snaps to attention, and glares down at Van Siclen. "Two years ago, you stopped my rise, you broke my leg... in fact, the injury you inflicted upon me is directly related to the extra year I spent in the godforsaken preparatory leagues. And I had intended, upon my return, to make you pay on March 7th, and in the process take the SWF Championship from you... but then, Ejiro Fasaki did that a week and a half ago." Van Siclen grins. "Tom, you know I respect you. You're a two-time champion, you've done things in this fed that other people can only dream of." Flesher nods, and the crowd begins to cheer, but Van Siclen hushes them, continuing on. "And that is why, when I pin you in the middle of an SWF ring, 1-2-3, clear as day... well, Tom Flesher, getting vengeance on you will make it sweet. And your status in this federation will make my victory all the sweeter." Van Siclen grins, pausing the video. "Well, that one came true just last week. How you doin', Tom? Bet you didn't expect that one, but it happened, and let me tell you... it felt really, really good. I'm hoping to get the chance to do it again. That said... let's keep rolling." "Thugg, I challenge you, one-on-one, for SWF Lockdown... and knowing that your pride will force you to accept, I look forward to beating the piss out of you... for Mak Francis, for everyone you've ever beaten down, I fully intend to do the same to you." "Hey, that one came true too, less than a week after I made that promise. I'm two-for-two, man... let's go back, however, to the first promise that I made." Rewind, and then... "More importantly, it's time for the very first SWF New Year's Resolution, and that is this... February 1st, 2004, you will see the winner of the fourth Clusterfuck... and that will be me, Mike Van Siclen. Be warned, my SWF compatriots, one-on-one, you may stop me... but come Clusterfuck, there will be nothing that stops me from becoming #1 contender to the SWF Championship!" Stop. "Look at that... well, thus far I'm two-for-two on promises, and at Clusterfuck, I fully intend to continue my perfect prediction record. You may think, but Mike, Stryke's career is on the line... but Mike, Grappler drew #20, didn't he beat you a couple of weeks back? But nothing, kids... this match is mine for the taking, and it'll take twenty guys to stop me..." Van Siclen cracks a smile. "Conveniently enough, there's only nineteen other guys in the Clusterfuck. I may be entering early, I may be light, I could be #2 and I could be #12, but I promise every last one of you... at the end of the night, I will be #1." Fade out...

Well, if the Rams lost, and they were playing the Panthers, I'd say it's a foregone conclusion that Carolina absolutely fucking won. Jesus Christ, that shit is tired. One team wins and one team loses, and there is no "he lost it, so they didn't win it." Bullshit. Martz lost and Carolina won. You can't have two fucking losers in a football game.

You didn't win, either, so I don't think that's the way to go.

But Thugg, I was here before you. That said, I've updated my stats. Everybody, please take note.

Dead in the fuckin' water, Maddix.

RESULTS! First of all... read the show if you haven't already. It is spectacular. That said... Superstar d. Zack Malibu Damaramu d. Crystal The Mad Cappa d. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez AJ Flaire d. Mad Matt to retain the OAOAST X Championship Scotty Static d. Sly "The Sly" Sommers Dan Black d. SpiderPoet to become the new OAOAST Adrenaline Champion The Shuffle d. Puerto Rican Lightning to become the new OAOAST North American Champion Calvin Szechstein d. twenty-nine other men to retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Read the show, kids. It's awesome.

Our cameras fade in on Dan Black and Northstar, sitting in the GM's office, both of them with looks of impatience on their face. One looks to the other, the other looks back, and the first looks away, and the cycle just continues to repeat itself until... BLACK Dammit, I've got bigger things to worry about than this. NORTHSTAR You have bigger thangs to worry about, love? I've got Dammy in a cage with Chris, and you have bigger thangs to worry about? BLACK Yeah? Well I have SpiderPoet... again... and I don't need thsi on top of it. With that, the OAOAST's World Heavyweight Champion, Calvin Szechstein, walks into the room, the typical cocky smile on his face. He is beltless on this occasion, in a black Versace suit with a green shirt underneath. He sits down in a vacant chair, and looks at Dan and Northstar. CALVIN What can I do for you, fellas? NORTHSTAR Calvin, love... we've encountered a bit of a problem. Calvin nods as Black picks up where Northstar left off. BLACK You see, Calvin, our mystery entrant failed to show up tonight. NORTHSTAR Damn that Sandman9000. BLACK Damn him indeed. Anyway, Calvin, we're sunk. We can't have a royal rumble with twenty-nine guys. That's like having a chess match with seven pawns, Calvin, it's just not done. CALVIN Uh huh. So why not get Coach in the ring? He's wrestled quite a few main events recently. Black and Northstar look at each other, and then back at Calvin. BLACK Calvin, I understand that you don't want to fight tonight... NORTHSTAR Obviously, as you didn't schedule yourself a title defence. BLACK ...but we need you out there, in the Royal Rumble. The crowd, watching on the Angle-tron, pops~!... as Calvin chews on his bottom lip, thinking about it. CALVIN I'll do it... More cheers! CALVIN ...under two conditions. Dan and Northstar, looks of desperation on their faces, beckon Calvin to go on. CALVIN Number one... I want this match performed under Clusterfuck rules. When we're down to three men, the match turns into a triple threat match, with the first pin signalling the winner. Dan nods, as does Northstar. Calvin, seeing that he has the GMs in his back pocket, continues. CALVIN And... I want number thirty. NORTHSTAR Deal. BLACK Hold on just one second... The crowd quiets, obviously wanting Black to speak. BLACK If you expect us to make concessions for you, Calvin... concessions which are obviously in your favour... I think you should make some concessions for us. Northstar? Northstar just nods his head quietly, not really wanting to get on his champ's bad side, and as a result Black continues. BLACK If you're to come in here... CALVIN Hey, you called me in here. BLACK Regardless, for you to come in here and demand your rules for this match, and number thirty... you can have both, as far as I'm concerned. Calvin grins smugly. BLACK ...but, Calvin, your title is on the line. The crowd absolutely EXPLODES, as Calvin stands up to protest, but Northstar stands up too, calming his champion down. Calvin sits, and Northstar extends a hand to Black. NORTHSTAR You've got a deal. The crowd's cheering, if possible, gets louder, as Calvin whimpers in his chair. Black stands up as Northstar sits, and the IZ GM walks past Calvin, stopping in front of him. BLACK Calvin... you insulted my show, you tried to kill my show, you said my show would never see the OAOAST Championship again... guess what, Calvin? I'm going to pry it out of your corporately sponsored hands... and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. Good luck, champ. Black leaves, and Northstar tries to settle Calvin down as we cut to JR and Jesse. JR WHAT AN ANNOUNCEMENT! Tonight, fifteen IZers can bring the OAOAST title to its rightful home! JESSE And tonight they can all be denied the chance, but hey, you can be optimistic. Let's send it to Coach, Cole, and Caboose, for our first match!

ANGLEPALOOZA 2004 EXECUTIVE PRODUCED BY Tony The Body Stephen Joseph PRODUCED BY Chuck Woolery WRITTEN BY (in order) Chuck Woolery Zack Malibu Damaramu The #1 MST3K Mark Nice Guy Adam Phoenix Fury Legdrop SpiderPoet The Superstar OAOAST ANGLEPALOOZA 2004 A LOVE CONNECTION PRODUCTION DON'T MISS ZERO HOUR: FEBRUARY 2004

Dama is absolutely STARK RAVING MAD, as officials have to hold him back from entering the ring again. However, he turns his attention back to the stage, where Ryan Smith is standing with a smile. Smith exits stage left, and Damaramu begins running up the ramp, chasing after him! At the same time, the countdown starts up, bringing out the next star to participate in the Rumble… CUE: “State Prop”. The crowd pops big time, as the NEW 24/7 Champion, Panther, makes his way down the aisle! On the way down the aisle, Panther passes Damaramu, who is seething upon his elimination. The two HeldDOWN~! Talents give each other a stare, until Panther jogs down to the ring, sliding in and helping Zack and Jay work over Gibraltar! The three of them combined stun the big man enough, but when Zack and Panther each try to lift a leg, the monster seemingly awakens from a slumber, pounding on their backs with vicious intent, stopping any momentum they’ve had! Mad Matt come over to help, and while the four popular stars work over Gibraltar, Superstar takes a seat in the corner, a la Raven, and uses this time to rest up! JR What a coward! He doesn’t wanna get his hands dirty! CABOOSE Lay off the man, JR. He had a tough match earlier. JR So did Zack, but you’d complain if he took a breather. CABOOSE Well yeah…he sucks. Gibraltar, leaning against the ropes but still with his feet planted on the mat, dishes out forearms, punches and elbows, as Panther, Matt, Jay and Zack all scurry to keep on him and not “set him free”. Meanwhile Superstar does a mock yawn, and sneers to the crowd, as no one has noticed that he’s staying out of this… …until Panther turns around after a Gibraltar shot! He goes back for the monster, but notices Superstar sitting in the corner. Panther looks out to the crowd, who cheer that he’s taken note of Superstar’s sneakiness, as he inches closer to him! Superstar begs off, but lures Panther close enough so he can get up and deliver a cheap shot…but it’s blocked! Panther shoves SS back into the corner, and UNLOADS~!, with Superstar sent reeling after lefts and rights, until taking a back bump off the final punch! Panther pulls SS up, and lifts him over his head in press slam position, but Superstar squirms his way out, landing behind Panther! SS turns him around and boots him in the gut, then pulls Panther into a standing legscissors…but Superstar gets backdropped over the ropes…ONTO THE APRON~! JR Lucky bastard saved himself on that one! Panther reaches over as SS is pulling himself up, and delivers a shot that has SS hobbling, his only saving grace is that he’s holding on tightly to the top rope! CABOOSE We’re just about due for another entrant, JR. Could it be someone to save Superstar? JR Let’s hope not. CABOOSE BIAS~! The Rumble Timer ™ approaches the final seconds, as the crowd, who have been on the edge of their seat during this whole match, counts along in unison… …FIVE! …FOUR! …THREE! …TWO! …ONE! *BUZZ* JR It’s…It’s… CABOOSE Well, where are they? Nobody comes out of the back. The crowd looks on, and many even boo, as no one has shown. JR That must have been CWM’s entry. I guess your General Manager couldn’t find someone worthwhile enough to replace him? Suddenly, the arena goes BLACK~! Fans pop loudly, and the action in the ring comes to a standstill. Suddenly, a voice booms over the PA. VOICE I…HAVE…COME… …TO ANGLEPALOOZA! JR It can’t be! CABOOSE Oh no, not HIM! VOICE I…HAVE…COME… …TO THE ROYAL RUMBLE! JR Well enough talking, where is he!? VOICE I…HAVE…COME! The lights go on, and the crowd goes NUTS, as MASKED MAN~! Is standing in the center of the ring~! JR IT IS! IT’S MASKED MAN~! CABOOSE Calm down old man, he’s with HeldDOWN~! The returning Masked Man sees the chaos going on in the ring…and he begins doing a two-step routine! The crowd roars at the guts, talent, and sex appeal of the HeldDOWN superstar, but out of nowhere, a certain HeldDOWN *Superstar* charges out of his corner and takes Masked Man’s head off with a clothesline! Superstar brings MM up and whips him into the corner, but the international cruiserweight star uses the momentum to climb up to the turnbuckle and vault backwards, taking Superstar down with a picture-perfect moonsault press! Meanwhile, the other four have finally given up on trying to eliminate Gibraltar, and the big man grabs the heads of Panther and Zack, slamming them together like coconuts! Mad Matt decides to go for Shooter Jay, as he surprises him from behind (!) with an inverted facelock, setting him up for the Shadow of Madness! He pulls Jay up into the air…but Jay shifts his weight and lands behind Matt, before grabbing an inverted facelock of his own, turning around, and snapping down with a neckbreaker to complete the Afterthought! The crowd roars, and Shooter Jay quickly brings Matt up to his feet, holds him by the head, and charges, tossing him all the way over the top rope and down to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mad Matt ENTERED: 11th LEFT: 12th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Shooter Jay LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Superstar, Zack Malibu, Shooter Jay, Panther, Masked Man ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR And that crazy pet coon Mad Matt is gone! CABOOSE Hey, it’s not death, but elimination is good, too. JR You are one harsh individual. Masked Man locks horns with Superstar again, but this time he lifts him onto his shoulders in an inverted fireman’s carry, calling for the Entrapment! He starts to drop to his side, but Superstar feverishly rains down forearms, stopping TMM and dropping behind him. Supes grabs a waistlock on Masked Man and arches backwards, slamming him down on his upper back with a German Suplex. Meanwhile, Panther ducks a Shooter Jay kick and grabs him a ¾ headlock, and nails a Panther Cutter! Superstar surveys the ring…and sees Zack tied up in the ropes, with Gibraltar laying in a grade-A sized beating. Superstar cautiously approaches the huge man and tells him to back off, directing him over to the fallen Shooter Jay. With Gibraltar gone, Superstar taunts Zack and backs up a bit, stomping his foot on the mat! CABOOSE YES! Superstar is going to give Zack a dose of his own medicine with the School’s Out! Superstar hops forward and shoots his leg out…but Zack moves! Supes gets crotched on the top rope, and before Malibu can even do anything, Panther rushes forward, lifting Supes’ other leg up…sending him over the top and DOWN TO THE FLOOR!!! JR Sweet heavenly mercy! Panther just eliminated The Superstar! The rookie just dumped the veteran! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?! CABOOSE This is impossible! ~~~~~~~~~~~ The Superstar ENTERED: 12th LEFT: 13th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Panther LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Shooter Jay, Panther, Masked Man ~~~~~~~~~~~ Superstar immediately gets to his feet on the outside, his eyes the size of saucers as he stares up at Panther, who drops to the mat in victory! Superstar is a pissed-off pet coon as he shoves a nearby referee down before heading backstage, cursing at anyone in range. As Panther is on his knees celebrating, though, Masked Man is up and he charges at the 24/7 Champion, vaulting off his knee and leveling him with a Shining Wizard! As he hits this, the Official Rumble Timer™ begins counting down! “TEN!” “NINE!” “EIGHT!” “SEVEN!” “SIX!” “FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZ* The crowd gasps in delight as rain begins falling from the heavens~ onto the fans, and a big lightning bolt hits the stage. “Know Your Role 2k3” hits and the fans go MADLY IN ANGER~ as PRL enters the arena for the second time tonight! BUFFER Representing IntenseZone, weighing in at two-hundred and twenty three pounds, this is PUERTOOOOOOOO RIIIIIIIIIIIICAN LIIIIIIIIIIIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!! JR Bah Gawd, that damn PRL made me all wet! CABOOSE That isn’t- JR And before you say ANYTHING, Caboose, I meant literally! PRL charges head on and slides into the ring, where he immediately goes after Zack Malibu! As the two men trade punches and chops, Gibraltar has Shooter Jay in a bad way, as he wraps his enormous hand around his neck! The big man easily hoists Jay into the air…and drops him across his knee with the CHOKEBREAKER~! The crowd jeers at the vicious move, but Gibraltar simply laughs as he stomps down on the fallen Darring. Lightning, meanwhile, whips Zack into the ropes and attempts to jar him with a superkick…but Malibu goes for a Yakuza Kick at the same time, and both men connect! The two drop down to the mat, as Masked Man grabs Panther in a waistlock and lifts him up, spinning around and dropping him with the Vertigo Suplex! At that moment, the fresh PRL kips up~ and attacks Masked Man, grabbing his head from behind and nailing a swift Edge-o-Matic! PRL taunts the crowd and turns…only to come face to face with the mighty Gibraltar! JR The monster has awakened, and I think Lightning just soiled himself! CABOOSE ‘has awakened’? JR, have you been watching this match? Lightning quickly tries to beg off, but Gibraltar wraps his hand around his throat in a tight vice! The crowd roars at this move, but Gibraltar doesn’t do anything to the IZ superstar yet. Instead, he waits for Masked Man to get up. In MM’s dazed stupor, he turns around…and gets goozled himself! Gibraltar easily hoists both men up…and chokeslams both of them down to the mat! As Gibraltar stands over the mass of quivering bodies he just produced, Panther hoists Shooter Jay up onto his shoulder for The Truth, but Jay shifts his weight and falls back, and as he does he grabs Panther’s head, driving him to the mat with a reverse DDT! Once again, the Official Rumble Timer™ counts down from ten, just as Gibraltar sets his sights on Zack Malibu. “TEN!” “NINE!” “EIGHT!” “SEVEN!” “SIX!” “FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZ* DJ Kool’s “Let Me Clear My Throat” hits, and the crowd goes STARK RAVING CRAZY IN ANGER~ as PRL’s perennial rival, The Mad Cappa, charges out from the back! BUFFER Representing IntenseZone, this is THE MAAAAAAAAAAD CAAAAAAAAAPPA! Cappa rushes under the bottom rope, and as he sees the fallen form of PRL, he grabs him up off the canvas and charges, tossing him all the way over the top rope! …No! PRL skins the cat, not even realizing who attempted to eliminate him! Lightning reenters the ring, turns around…and grows wide-eyed as he sees Cappa! Lightning slides under the bottom rope, Cappa in hot pursuit, and a chase commences at ringside! JR That Puerto Rican Lightning is a damn COWARD! He’s running like a scalded Puerto Rican dog! CABOOSE Good one, JR. Panther and Jay, meanwhile, continue their brawling as Zack Malibu temporarily stops the freight train that is Gibraltar, by moving out of the way of a blind charge, causing Gibraltar to crash against the turnbuckle. Panther whips Jay into the ropes and charges to the side ropes, where he intercepts Shooter and grabs a ¾ facelock for another Panther Cutter… *SMACK~!* …but Malibu stops him COLD with the School’s Out superkick! The crowd roars at the move, and before Panther can even fall to the mat, Shooter grabs him and bundles him over the top rope, and down to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Panther ENTERED: 17th LEFT: 14th ELIMINATED: The Superstar ELIMINATED BY: Shooter Jay LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Shooter Jay, Masked Man, Puerto Rican Lightning, The Mad Cappa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR Nice teamwork there! Panther had a nice showing, eliminating the OAOAST veteran, The Superstar! CABOOSE That was a stroke of luck. Good for him. Maybe he can win cleanly next time! JR ‘Cleanly’? Can you spell hypocrite? CABOOSE H-i-p-p…hey, PRL and Mad Cappa are back in the ring! Indeed, both men slide back in, PRL first, Cappa behind him. Lightning tries to surprise his enemy by quickly shooting a superkick back at him, but Cappa catches the leg and flips him backwards…just as Masked Man sails off the top rope, flipping through the air and nailing Lightning with the picture-perfect front flip dropkick he calls the Star Search! The kick connects right with PRL’s head, and he drops like a sack of bricks in front of Cappa. Masked Man jumps to his feet, and the crowd greets him with applause…but it quickly turns to jeers as Gibraltar appears behind the masked legend! Before MM realizes what happened, the big man grabs him and lifts him above his head in an enormous gorilla press, and tosses him right over the top rope and down to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Masked Man ENTERED: 18th LEFT: 15th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Shooter Jay, Puerto Rican Lightning, The Mad Cappa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Masked Man sadly hits the floor, and the Official Rumble Timer™ kicks in again. JR We’re going to be up to our 21st entrant here! Half of the men in this match have now been eliminated! We’re getting down to the nitty-gritty! CABOOSE So I guess Masked Man came, saw, came, saw, came, and got eliminated by Gibraltar. Hey, not a bad re-debut if you ask me. …”FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* Verdi’s “Requiem” hits, and the crowd goes absolutely BANANAS~ as the monster JINGUS storms out from the back! BUFFER Representing IntenseZone, this is THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE MONSTER, JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! JINGUS slides into the ring and, unsurprisingly, goes right for the other resident big man, Gibraltar! The punches commence immediately, with Gibraltar getting the upper hand until Malibu and Jay dive down, simultaneously clipping both of Gibraltar’s knees, taking him down to the mat! Cappa, meanwhile, begins getting the upper hand on PRL, mounting him before delivering a flurry of punches. JR JINGUS! JINGUS! JINGUS HAS LAID CARNAGE AND WASTE EVERYWHERE! CABOOSE Actually, that looked more like Zack and Jay’s doing, but hey, whatever floats your boat. JINGUS simply stares at Zack and Jay, apparently his version of thanks, and lifts Gibraltar up, placing him in a standing headscissors. Showing his unbelievable strength, JINGUS hoists Gibraltar up, holding him vertical from the mat…and drops him on his head with the DevilBomb! JR JESUS CHRIST’S HOLY GHOST REINCARNATE! CABOOSE Now THAT is something to get excited about. Holy shit! Echoing Caboose’s statement, the crowd bursts into a “Holy shit!” chant of their own. Malibu and Darring stare at JINGUS in shock, but out of the corner of his eye Jay notices Malibu standing right against the rope…so he lunges, attempting to eliminate the prep! Zack catches himself just in time, hanging onto the top rope for dear life. Zack comes back into the ring and simply smiles at Jay, who wears a face of “hey, it’s every man for himself, you silly prep.” Zack agrees, and the two men lock horns. Meanwhile, PRL is able to escape the clutches of Cappa…and he purposely runs head on into the back of JINGUS! The devil reincarnate turns around, but Lightning immediately plays innocent, telling JINGUS that Cappa did it! Despite the fans’ jeering, JINGUS believes him, and he grabs the unaware Cappa, hoisting him into the air with a gorilla press! PRL directs traffic, telling JINGUS to just throw him over the top rope, but instead, J turns to his side and lets go of Cappa. As he falls, though, JINGUS catches him and drives his head to the mat with the HellBuster! PRL makes a “that’s good enough” pantomime and congratulates the hell monster. JR That’s NOT RIGHT! JINGUS has a finite mind, and that damn PRL took advantage of it! I hope he gets his! CABOOSE PRL’s smart, JR. Just admit it. He knew exactly what would happen, and he took advantage of it. Good on him, I say. The Official Rumble Timer™ begins counting down, but JINGUS has had enough of PRL’s mock congratulating, as he palms Lightning’s head and lifts him up, driving him to the mat with the Claw Slam! …”THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZ* JR It’s…G Money! The Deadly Alliance member jogs into the ring, going right for Shooter Jay! Money shoves Zack out of the way and begins pounding on Darring, culminating with a kick to the nether regions. Zack tries to intervene, but Money attacks him with a deadly thumb to the eye, and then stands to his side and hoists him up…dropping him down with a side suplex! CABOOSE Money’s on fire here, and I like it! Represent England to the fullest, baby! What G Money doesn’t see is JINGUS, who swings his arm and hits Money with a lariat so hard, Money flips inside out before falling to the mat! The recovered Jay Darring capitalizes on this by climbing to the second rope and flipping through the air, nailing a tumbleweed on the fallen G Money! Meanwhile, PRL and Cappa slowly rise to their feet, but Lightning tries to surprise his enemy, grabbing him around the neck for a Latin Slam…but Cappa spins out of it, hitting PRL with an armdrag! JINGUS surveys the carnage, and slowly walks backwards…bumping right into the awakened giant, Gibraltar. JR HOSSES AFIRE! THIS COULD AND WILL GET BOWLING SHOE UGLY, BUT I WILL MOST DEFINITELY HAVE TO USE THE JOHN AFTER THIS ALTERCATION! CABOOSE That’s more than I ever wished to hear, JR. The two men begin slugging it out, but Gibraltar raises his knee right into JINGUS’ gut. With J doubled over, Gibraltar slams his ham – sized fists into his back, weakening him. With that, he grabs JINGUS in a goozle, and in an amazing sight, lifts him into the air…and drops him down across his knee with the CHOKEBREAKER! JR SWEET IMMACULATE MOTHER OF JESUS IN HEAVEN! CABOOSE You mean, Mary? PRL and Cappa lock up again as the Official Rumble Timer™ kicks in. PRL tries to low blow Cappa but it’s blocked, and the mad one shoves PRL…right into Zack Malibu, who grabs him in a fisherman’s position and lifts him up, driving his head to the mat with the POP Drop! …”FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* Sevendust’s “Black” hits, and the crowd goes insanely mixed as Hoff charges out from the back! BUFFER Representing HeldDOWN, this is the Underground’s HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!! Hoff slides into the ring and surprises everyone right off the bat, taking down the enormous Gibraltar with a double-leg takedown! As he does this, Shooter Jay and G Money both rise up at the same time. Money tries to lunge at Jay, but Darring stops him with a STIFF~ backhand. The force of the blow causes Money to lean against the ropes, so Shooter simply backs up, lunges forward, and hits a STIFF~ superkick that sends G Money all the way over the top rope and down to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ G Money ENTERED: 22nd LEFT: 16th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Shooter Jay LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Shooter Jay, Puerto Rican Lightning, The Mad Cappa, JINGUS, Hoff ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hoff lays in some stomps on Gibraltar, but JINGUS stops him cold, shoving him into the turnbuckle! J begins hitting Hoff with hard body shots, but Hoff counters this by nailing JINGUS square in the head with overhead punches. Hoff shoves JINGUS out of the way, but as the big(ger) man comes charging back, Hoff quickly grabs him across the waist and lifts him up…powering him down with THE SPINEBUSTER~! JR HE JUST BLINKIED HIM! CABOOSE I've seen many things happen in a wrestling ring, but I've never seen a man ejaculate in another man's eye! JINGUS practically no-sells the rich and gooey spinebuster, and he charges at Hoff again, looking for some blinky revenge. However, with H against the ropes, he simply ducks down and allows J’s momentum to carry him over the top rope…AND DOWN TO THE FLOOR! JR THIS TIME HE BLINKIED HIM OUT OF THE RUMBLE! GOD BLESS NOAH AND HIS ARK! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JINGUS ENTERED: 21st LEFT: 17th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Hoff LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Shooter Jay, The Mad Cappa, Puerto Rican Lightning, Hoff ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gibraltar, meanwhile, has his sights set on the Mad Cappa, and he easily positions him in a standing headscissors, lifting him up…and dropping him down with a vicious sit-down powerbomb! PRL, from the corner, applauds the big man, only to be surprised by Hoff, who charges and sandwiches Lightning against the turnbuckle! With PRL stunned, Hoff swings his arm around and clotheslines PRL over the top rope! …but he lands on the apron! The crowd jeers as PRL saves himself from imminent defeat, but Hoff turns his attention elsewhere: his opponent for next HeldDOWN, Zack Malibu! The two begin trading punches, but Hoff quickly ducks and grabs Zack by the waist, lifting him up and dropping him across his knee with an inverted atomic drop! Stunned by the blow, Zack falls easy victim to another Hoff SPINEBUSTER~ as the Official Rumble Timer™ counts down! …”SIX!” “FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZ* “Oh Hell Yeah” by the H-Blocx hits and one half of the former Dream Machines charges out from the back! JR It’s…Peter Knight! BUFFER Representing HeldDOWN, PETERRRRRRRRRR KNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! Hoff intercepts Knight as he enters the ring, stomping down on the former Tag Team Champion. H picks Knight up and grabs him by the arm, whipping him around and attempting a SPINEBUSTER~, but in mid-air Peter nails Hoff with a hard clubbing blow to the head, breaking up the move. Knight swiftly grabs Hoff by the head and twists around, dropping him to the mat with a neckbreaker. Meanwhile, Gibraltar has the dazed Malibu in the corner, and attacks him with hard body shots. He brings Zack out of the corner and hoists him onto his shoulder…dropping him with a big powerslam! Puerto Rican Lightning slowly reaches down and grabs the unmoving Mad Cappa, and runs forward, tossing him out of the ring! …but this time Cappa skins the cat! As Cappa reenters, Shooter Jay appears behind PRL and wraps in an inverted facelock, snapping down and hitting the Afterthought on PRL! JR YES! Shooter Jay gave PRL what he had coming to him…PRL is one big rat bastard, and I hope his neck snaps! CABOOSE …ouch, and you say I’m harsh. Peter Knight, meanwhile, tries his luck with the enormous Gibraltar. Gibraltar blocks a punch, however, and traps PK’s arms, going for more vicious headbutts. However, Knight lifts his knee up, right into Gibraltar’s nether regions! *CHING!* With the current Iron Man doubled over, Peter shocks the world as he lifts Gibraltar onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry and spins around…dropping him with THE KNIGHTMARE!! JR SWEET COUSIN OF GOD’S IMMACULATE MERCY! CABOOSE Was that Moses, or am I thinking of Job? John? Luke? Knight celebrates his awesome feat of strength…so much, in fact, that he doesn’t see Hoff, who sneaks up behind him…and bundles him over the top rope and down to the floor! JR BAH GAWD, talk about sneaking behind someone and fucking them in the ass! CABOOSE …I have nothing to add. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Peter Knight ENTERED: 24th LEFT: 18th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Hoff LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Shooter Jay, Puerto Rican Lightning, The Mad Cappa, Hoff ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile, Cappa bends down to pick Puerto Rican Lightning up off the mat- *CHING!* -but Lightning attacks him with a nice (if you’re into that) uppercut to the nuts! With Cappa doubled over, PRL traps him in a front facelock and leaps up, driving Cappa’s head to the mat with the PR NIGHTMARE! The Official Rumble Timer™ begins counting down as Shooter Jay tries to intervene, but Lightning jabs him right in the eye, before placing him in a standing headscissors, trapping his arms in a double underhook and lifting him up…spiking Jay on his head with the Annexation of Puerto Rico! …”FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Quiet” hits and the crowd jeers mercilessly as IntenseZone’s GM enters the arena! BUFFER Representing IntenseZone as its General Manager, this is “ICE HEART” DAAAAAAAAAAAAN BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!! Black rushes into the ring…and he immediately sees the fallen form of Jay Darring! Grinning like the Cheshire Cat, Black lifts the motionless Shooter up to his feet…and tosses him over the top rope to the floor! JR DAN DAMN BLACK! CABOOSE Not good with alliterations, are you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Shooter Jay ENTERED: 16th LEFT: 19th ELIMINATED: Mad Matt, Panther, G Money ELIMINATED BY: Dan Black LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Puerto Rican Lightning, The Mad Cappa, Hoff, Dan Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Black celebrates and attempts to do the same with the Mad Cappa, but Zack Malibu intercepts him as the driving forces behind HeldDOWN and IntenseZone EXPLODE~. Malibu quickly sets up Black for the POP Drop, but Dan elbows out of it and ducks behind the prep, grabbing him in a waistlock before arching back and sending him over with the Night Falls! Meanwhile, PRL stops Hoff cold with an eye gouge, kicks him in the gut, and grabs a ¾ facelock…LIGHTNING STRIKE! Gibraltar begins stalking the fresh Dan Black, but Black quickly talks himself out of it and points him back to Cappa, who isn’t looking too well. Gibraltar nods, turning his back on Black and moving towards Cappa…but he quickly spins around, swinging his arm and nailing Black with an enormous lariat! Gibraltar turns back around to Cappa, but he’s ready as he spins around and nails Gibraltar in the face with THE IMPACT, just as Zack Malibu shoots his leg from behind Gibraltar and hits him in the face with a bicycle kick! The force of both strikes to Gibraltar’s head causes him to wobble…and drop down to the mat! JR HOW SWEET IT IS! IntenseZone and HeldDOWN working together towards a common goal…taking down the big man! CABOOSE I think it’s obvious that your IZ guys are leeching off of the reaction for our HD guys. Cappa and Zack high-five each other, only to have PRL spin Cappa around, KICK – WHAM – CAPPA KILLER…NO! Cappa shoves Lightning off and into the ropes, and as PRL comes back, KICK – WHAM – BUST A CAP! Lightning flips and flops down to the mat, just as Hoff gets up and charges, hitting Zack in the side of the head with an enormous big boot! The force of the blow causes Malibu to fall back against the ropes, and Hoff quickly tries to lift his legs up to eliminate him! However, Zack holds a death grip on the top rope, refusing to let go and be eliminated. Dan Black gets up, however, and helps Hoff’s cause, trying to eliminate the prep. However, this time Cappa comes to Zack’s rescue, stopping Dan Black by trapping him in an inverted facelock, twisting to the side and nailing the Final Cut! As the move connects, the Official Rumble Timer™ begins counting down again. Zack is finally able to stop Hoff by kicking him in the leg, and as he doubles over, Zack wraps him in a front facelock…and nails a DDT! “…FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* Cypress Hill’s “How I Could Just Kill a Man” echoes through the Pepsi Arena, and the crowd erupts as another sentimental favorite, Y2Jailbait enters the arena! BUFFER Representing IntenseZone, this is WHYYYYYYYYYYY TOOOOOOOOO JAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIILBAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JR Last year in the Rumble, Jailbait had the most eliminations, including some OAOAST legends, like Tony The Body, CWM, and Alfdogg! CABOOSE But that was before Dan Black took him out of action completely. I think Jailbait’s just a shell of his former self. Cappa turns around to meet Jailbait as he enters, but instead- *THWACK!* -Lightning strikes from behind, as PRL nails him with Sweet Back of the Head Music! Cappa falls to the mat, and Jailbait goes for his rival Dan Black instead, quickly nailing a flipping legdrop on his fallen foe! PRL lifts Cappa up to his feet and scoops him on his shoulder, finally looking to end Cappa’s Rumble Run. Lightning charges towards the ropes, looking to easily toss Cappa over…but BOTH men tumble over the top! Lighting hits the floor AND CAPPA SKINS THE CAT! …but NO! As Cappa skinned the cat, his feet touched the floor for .05 seconds, and unfortunately, outside referee Nick Soapdish saw it! Both men are eliminated! JR BAH GAWD! These men worked so hard to eliminate each other, they ended up both getting eliminated at the same time! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Puerto Rican Lightning ENTERED: 19th LEFT: 20th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: The Mad Cappa The Mad Cappa ENTERED: 20th LEFT: 21st ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Puerto Rican Lightning LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Hoff, Dan Black, Y2Jailbait ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jailbait brings Dan Black up to his feet and sets him up for the exploder suplex…but Dan elbows him in the side of the head to break it! Y2J staggers backward, and Black continues his diabolical assault by kicking Jailbait right in his Y2s! *CHING!* With Jailbait doubled over, Black looks to dispense the most amount of pain possible, as he locks in a front facelock and hoists Jailbait up into the air, before flipping him around and sitting out, driving him to the mat with the BLACK CRUSH! Meanwhile, Gibraltar walks over to Zack again, and begins pounding his face in with vicious forearms! With Malibu suitably weakened, Gibraltar hoists Zack up into the air in a gorilla press and prepares to toss him out of the ring! The fans’ jeering grows louder and louder as the favorite is on the brink of elimination…but Hoff charges and takes out Gibraltar’s knee with a chop block, and both men fall to the mat! JR What in Jesse Jackson’s name was that? CABOOSE I think it’s easy, JR. Hoff wants to eliminate Zack himself to crush his spirit. He doesn’t want some roided up muscle head to do the job for him. With Zack ‘safe’, Hoff places him in a standing headscissors and flips him up onto his shoulders, before spiking him HARD down to the mat with a spinebuster to complete the H BOMB~! Hoff screams “MY HOUSE!” at Zack as the Official Rumble Timer™ counts down from ten for the twenty-fifth time tonight. However, Hoff is attacked from behind as Gibraltar traps his arms behind him and arches back, taking him over with a Tiger Suplex! …”SEVEN!” “SIX!” “FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* JR It’s…Alfdogg! The former Deadly Alliance leader charges as fast as he can to the ringside area…and he trips over a camera wire two feet from the ring! The crowd explodes in laughter, but Alf simply ignores them as he dusts himself off and slides into the ring, getting right into the action by attacking Y2Jailbait. He immediately hoists Jailbait onto his shoulders to go for the Burning Hammer, but Y2J easily drops out of it and falls behind Alfdogg. He spins the lowest drawing OAOAST Champion ever around and grabs a front facelock, twists around, and hits an ace crusher, completing the Jailbreak! Jailbait pops up and basks in the cheers of the crowd, only to have the dastardly Dan Black attack him from behind! Black goes for another Night Falls, but this time Malibu is there to stop him, grabbing a hold of the IZ GM and falling back, hitting a Russian Leg Sweep! Jailbait thanks Malibu…and then kicks him in the gut, grabbing a front facelock and spinning around, before drilling Zack with a spinning DDT! The crowd gives a very mixed reaction to this move, but as Jailbait gets up, he looks down at Zack and says, “Lo siento, holmes!” JR Well, that just goes to show you that there ARE no alliances in this match, and no one can be trusted! CABOOSE Plus, Zack had that coming. He’s way too gullible. Jailbait goes to pick Zack up, but then decides on Dan Black instead. Y2J lifts his arch rival up and runs towards the ropes, looking to throw him over the top…but he’s stopped cold by Gibraltar, who elbows him in the back of the head! Gibraltar grabs Jailbait by the arm and whips him towards the other side of the ring. As Y2J rebounds, Gibraltar grabs him around the waist and lifts him up, dropping him to the mat with a hard sidewalk slam! Out of the corner of his eye, Gibraltar sees Hoff climbing to the top rope, looking to get an aerial surprise on the bigger man. However, Gibraltar charges forward, grabs Hoff around the neck and spins around, chokeslamming him from the turnbuckle all the way down to the mat!!! JR FRUGAL JUPITER! The impact of that move shook the ring! CABOOSE Besides, what kind of idiot goes to the top rope during a Rumble? Gibraltar could’ve just tossed him over the top rope. I’m surprised he didn’t. Gibraltar stands tall; the only force left standing in the ring, as the Official Rumble Timer™ counts down. As it does, Gibraltar sees Dan Black recovering in the corner and runs at him, scraping his face with the sole of his boot! …”FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* BIOHAZARD’s “Punishment” kicks in and the crowd turns to harsh jeering as “The Current Big Thing” charges out of the curtain and into the ring! BUFFER Representing HeldDOWN, this is THE CURRENT BIG THING, BROOOOOOOOOOOOCKKKKK AUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIINNNN!!! Ausstin surveys the carnage in the ring and immediately goes for Hoff, picking him up in a fireman’s carry before walking to an edge of the ring and spinning him around, giving H the F-STUNNER-5 ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR! JR BAH GAWD! THIS IS THE HOSS OF ALL HOSSES! I’VE MISSED HIM SO MUCH EVER SINCE THE BRAND EXTENSION! ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hoff ENTERED: 23rd LEFT: 22nd ELIMINATED: JINGUS, Peter Knight ELIMINATED BY: Brock Ausstin LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Y2Jailbait, Alfdogg, Brock Austin ~~~~~~~~~~~ Giving hoss enthusiasts wet dreams worldwide, Brock targets Gibraltar, and the two men begin trading mighty blows! Meanwhile, Alfdogg is up and he begins attacking Zack Malibu, as the two former World Champions lock horns in a tight grapple! Alfdogg tries to lift Zack off of his feet and hit a spinebuster, but Zack blocks it and charges to the ropes, coming back and spinning around, hitting a big ROLLING ELBOW~ on Alf, knocking out three of his teeth in the process! During the clash of the hosses, the ring practically explodes as Ausstin hoists the mighty Gibraltar into the air, over his head with an enormous HOSSLY GOODNESS~ belly-to-belly suplex! Dan Black peppers Jailbait with punches, and then surprises him with a KICK – WHAM! – BLACKOUT! …but Jailbait reverses, grabbing Black’s head and falling back with a neckbreaker! Malibu lifts Alf up to his feet and sets him up in the fisherman’s position for the POP DROP~, but Alfdogg goes low, attacking Zack’s testicles! *CHING!* JR Bah gawd, I think I’ve seen enough hand-on-testicle action to last three lifetimes! CABOOSE I’m not even touching that one. ‘Touching’ being a figure of speech, of course. As Zack falls to the mat, Alfdogg leaps up to the top rope and signals for the FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH~, but Malibu was playing possum, and he scales up the turnbuckle with Alf, leaping back and cracking Alf’s head with an enzuiguri! The force causes Alf to teeter…and he falls off the rope and down to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alfdogg ENTERED: 27th LEFT: 23rd ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Y2Jailbait, Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Alfdogg falls, the Official Rumble Timer™ ticks down to the entrance of participant number 29! JR The luck of the draw is really starting to come into play here! CABOOSE You say that every year, JR, and as sick as I am of you saying it, you are correct. But then again, does anyone ever win with these numbers? …”EIGHT!” “SEVEN!” “SIX!” “FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZ* “The Horror” by RJD2 hits the Pepsi Arena, and a battered, bloody, and beaten OAOAST North American Champion limps out from the back! BUFFER Representing IntenseZone, THEEEEEEEE SHUUUUUUUUUUFFLEEEEEE!!!!! Shuffle takes his time, walking up the ring steps and entering between the ropes. He is immediately attacked by Dan Black, who takes out some recent aggression on B.Diddy. He places Dids in a standing headscissors and underhooks his arms, looking for the Pitch Black…but Shuffle powers out of it, hitting an enormous back body drop! Shuffle quickly follows this up with a big legdrop, and after connecting he quickly falls to the corner, where he rests up. JR Shuffle, of course, was involved in that BRUTAL match with Puerto Rican Lightning earlier in the evening. He’s not 100% at all. CABOOSE But what about Dan Black? He was in a match too, and I don’t see you making excuses for him. Meanwhile, Brock Ausstin still has Gibraltar cornered against the turnbuckle, and he attacks him with stiff body shots. Ausstin then lowers his shoulder and begins driving it into the gut of Gibraltar, crushing his ribs in the process. JR Gibraltar’s been in there for almost 50 minutes now, so BROCK AUSSTIN! BROCK AUSSTIN! BROCK AUSSTIN! …sorry, is taking advantage of that, winding the big man. On the other side of the ring, Zack and Jailbait both reach their feet, and Malibu gives Jailbait some payback from earlier, as he spins his leg around and takes Jailbait down with a spinning leg lariat. Malibu then hops onto the second rope and vaults backwards, hitting an Asai Moonsault! Shuffle, meanwhile, musters up the strength to reach his feet and pick Black up, positioning him for the Shufflebomb! He reaches down, only to have Black drop to his knees and sock Shuffle right in the testes! *CHING!* As yet ANOTHER low blow connects, Shuffle doubles over and Black goes behind him, lacing his arms under his with a full nelson and arching back, connecting with a Dragon Suplex! Dan holds on until both men are up again, and this time he wraps in a waistlock, arching back with a German Suplex! Black keeps going and this time locks in a double chickenwing, falling back with a TIGER Suplex to complete the Chimera Suplex sequence! Gibraltar, meanwhile, starts to overcome the evil Brock Ausstin, as he traps his arms and begins executing headbutt after headbutt, dazing the Victoria, Minnesota native! JR Well, it’s almost time for the last participant, and by process of elimination, it’s our darling World Heavyweight Champion. CABOOSE Why should he be any number BUT thirty? Calvin’s the Champion, he’s defending his title, he shouldn’t have to do more work than these other hacks in the ring. “TEN!” ”NINE!” “EIGHT!” “SEVEN!” “SIX!” “FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* “THREE - TWO - ONE, I’M THE BOMB~!” JR It’s…Calvin Szechstein! Calvin takes his sweet time, jauntily walking from backstage to the jeers of the crowd. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR OAOAST Heavyweight CHAMPION of the WOOOOOOOORLD, CAAAAAAAAAAALVIN SZEEEEEEECHSTEIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!! As Calvin takes his sweet time walking to the ring, Dan Black has Shuffle up on his feet again – KICK! – WHAM! – BLACKOUT! Shuffle staggers backward…and Y2Jailbait grabs him and tosses him over the top rope and down to the floor! CABOOSE That miserable bastard! Black did all the work, and Jailbait steals his elimination! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Shuffle ENTERED: 29th LEFT: 24th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Y2Jailbait LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Y2Jailbait, Brock Ausstin, Calvin Szechstein ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Black looks and sees Jailbait eliminating the Shuffle, and he grows MADLY IN ANGER~ with his already arch-rival! The two men clash, locking horns in the center of the ring, until Dan lifts his knee into Jailbait’s midsection, and places him in a standing headscissors. He underhooks his arms and lifts Y2J up, spinning around and spiking him on his head with the PITCH BLACK! Calvin remains on the outside of the ring, enjoying himself as the five men in the ring tear each other apart. JR For god sakes Calvin, you’re the champ of this federation, PROVE YOUR METTLE AND ENTER THAT BY GAWD RING! CABOOSE Seeing as he’s the champ, I’m pretty sure he can do whatever he wants. Zack Malibu looks outside the ring and sees Calvin, so he charges and slides under the bottom rope, grabbing a surprised Calvin by the head and tossing him under the bottom rope, into the ring! The crowd explodes as Calvin quickly tries to beg off from Zack…and he gets beheaded by a Gibraltar lariat! Meanwhile, Dan Black ignores all the hub-bub that comes with Calvin Szechstein and picks Jailbait up. He hoists his enemy onto his shoulder and charges at the rope, looking to throw him over…but Jailbait holds on to the rope in an attempt to skin the cat! He hangs on for dear life, but Black will have none of it, so he runs to the opposite ropes and comes back, diving with a baseball slide that knocks Y2J down and out of the Rumble! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Y2Jailbait ENTERED: 26th LEFT: 25th ELIMINATED: The Shuffle ELIMINATED BY: Dan Black LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Brock Ausstin, Calvin Szechstein ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Zack starts to join in the beating of Szechstein, but Brock Ausstin intercepts him, attacking him with the CLOTHESLINE OF MASS DESTRUCTION, DEATH, TORMENT, AND PAIN~! As Zack hits the mat, Ausstin charges to the ropes and leaps up, hitting a Hulkamania-sized LEGDROP! Dan Black tries to stop Ausstin from gaining too much momentum, but Brock shoves him away and then charges at him, taking him down with a spear! JR HERE COMES THE PAIN~~~! CABOOSE That should be a pre-sodomy catchphrase. Gibraltar brings Calvin to his feet and scoops him up, holding him sideways. From there he drops to his knee once, twice, and three times, hitting a triple rib-breaker! After the third one, Gibraltar keeps his grip on Calvin and looks to go for a fall-away slam, but the Hoss of Fire~ that is Brock Ausstin charges at Gibraltar and levels him with a big boot that immediately drops him to the mat, with Calvin on top! Ausstin picks Calvin up, though, and places him on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry! JR MAH GAWD, HE’S GOING TO F-STUNNER-5 THE CHAMPION! BROCK AUSSTIN WILL MOST SURELY WIN! Brock roars and roars and screams and cries and roars, with such force and volume that children all over the world tremble and call for their mothers. He spins Szechstein around, looking to break his neck in two, but Calvin uses his speed to stop on his way down and pull Ausstin’s head down to the mat with a DDT! The crowd cheers for the innovation used by Szechstein, but he hardly moves as he hits the mat. JR BROCK AUSSTIN HAS LAID WASTE TO EVERYONE IN THIS RING! BROCK AUSSTIN IS A TRUE BEAST, A TRUE MONSTER, A TRUE PHYSICAL SPECIMEN FOR THE AGES! *CRACK* CABOOSE I guess not. The crack comes from Gibraltar’s elbow connecting with Ausstin’s head. The Brockifier stumbles backward but doesn’t fall, and the two men have another staredown for the ages. Gibraltar clasps his hand around Brock’s throat, signaling for a vicious CHOKEBREAKER~, but Ausstin goes for the jinx! *CHING!* Gibraltar holds his jinx close, and Ausstin sneaks behind him, wrapping his arm around his throat and applying a half nelson to execute the KATAHAJIME CHOKE! Gibraltar struggles and struggles and gasps and gasps, but he’s been in the match for so long that he gets CHOKED OUT~! Brock stands as the lone force in the ring, but not ABOVE the ring, as Calvin is on the turnbuckle behind the hideous monster. Ausstin turns around just as Calvin leaps, hooking his head in a front facelock as he spins around, spiking Brock on the mat with a murderous DDT! CABOOSE Don’t count Calvin out of this thing! This man has been Champion for 5 months, and he’s not ready to give up the title yet! However, Calvin has no time to rest as Dan Black surprises him, wrapping his own arms around his body and arching back, nailing Szechstein with an Aztec suplex! Black gets to his feet, dusting himself off a bit as Ausstin returns to his feet, rocking Black’s world with a monster lariat! Black turns inside out and almost breaks his neck as Ausstin pounds his chest, celebrating near the ropes… only to get brutally clotheslined over the top by one PISSED OFF Gibraltar, still fumbling with his aching jinx! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brock Ausstin ENTERED: 28th LEFT: 26th ELIMINATED: Hoff ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Calvin Szechstein ~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR And Brock Ausstin is out of this match! The five have become four! CABOOSE And look, three of them are from heldDown. I am in SHOCK, JR. Gibraltar stands tall in the middle of the ring, Zack slowly getting up behind him. As Gibraltar turns around, Zack puts all of his effort into one last push, charging at Gibraltar and hoping his momentum will push Gibraltar over the top rope… but Gibraltar merely grabs him by the arm and slams him to the mat with a hiptoss! The crowd boos as Black gets to his feet, looking to try his luck by charging Gibraltar… and getting leveled with another monster lariat! Black hits the mat hard, and Gibraltar turns away from him, soaking in the boos of the crowd. What he doesn’t notice is Calvin Szechstein inching his way over to Dan Black, whispering something into his ear. CABOOSE It looks like Calvin is putting his heldDown ingenuity to good use! JR You mean trying to screw Gibraltar out of the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship? Calvin staggers to his feet, helping Black up as well as Gibraltar turns around, seeing two pieces of fresh meat in front of him. Nodding to Black, Calvin charges forward, Black following his lead – and the two push Gibraltar towards the ropes! The crowd roars, wanting to see Gibraltar win even less than Calvin or Black, and as he nears the ropes he holds onto the top one, trying to stay alive! Black and Calvin push, but can’t move him… and then who but ZACK MALIBU charges forward, giving one last shove into Gibraltar’s chest to send him hurtling over the top rope, with both feet hitting the mat on the outside! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gibraltar ENTERED: 1st LEFT: 27th ELIMINATED: Stephen Joseph, Crystal, Reject, Gunner Sharps, Axel, SpiderPoet, Masked Man, Brock Ausstin ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Calvin Szechstein ~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR Zack Malibu gets official credit for the knockout there, but all three men had to eliminate Gibraltar there! CABOOSE Over the top rope, no less! They knew that they couldn’t pin Gibraltar, and they wanted to get him out before we hit the pins-only portion of the match! JR That’s right. Ladies and gentlemen, whoever gets the first pinfall here will be the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion… there are no disqualifications… Dan Black could take it home for IntenseZone! Zack Malibu could fulfill his destiny! The three men remaining fall back down, the recoil from the Gibraltar elimination taking a lot out of all three participants. Calvin, the freshest of the three, gets to his feet first, grabbing archrival Zack Malibu and lifting him to his feet. Malibu stumbles around a bit once on his feet, but Calvin steadies him, wrapping him up in a waistlock and throwing him overhead with a belly to belly suplex! The crowd boos as Zack skids across the mat, and Calvin walks over to him, grabbing Malibu by the hair and lifting him to his feet once again. JR Calvin Szechstein is using his lack of action thus far to put a beating on Zack, and you’ve got to wonder if this was his strategy all along! CABOOSE It absolutely was, JR, and it’s working to a T right now! Calvin stands Zack up in the middle of the ring, backing up into the ropes and looking to come flying off with a huge lariat… *CRACK!* …only to run smack into a School’s Out! The former champ drives his boot right into Szechstein’s jaw, sending the current champ flying through the middle and top rope! Szechstein hits the outside hard, probably conking his head as he lay motionless on the outside. Inside the ring, Zack falls to one knee, then picks himself up… up and into the snarling face of Dan Black! JR Zack took care of one enemy, but now the other is going to do him in! CABOOSE C’mon, Zack! Do it for heldDown! Black grabs Malibu in a collar-and-elbow tie-up, then looks to drive a knee into Malibu’s chest, the setup for the Blackout – but Malibu grabs the leg! The crowd erupts as Malibu swings Black around, then catching him with his own knee to the gut! Black doubles over, and Malibu puts him into a side headlock, hooking Black under the inside leg and lifting him up… then driving him headfirst into the mat with a POP Drop! JR POP DROP! PIN HIM, ZACK! Zack, indeed, looks for the pin… but who else but THE SUPERSTAR slides into the ring, catching Zack with a flying knee to the gut! The referee is powerless to do anything as Superstar wraps one arm around Zack’s head, putting him a side headlock, and hooks the inside leg… drilling Malibu with a POP Drop of his own! The fans go absolutely BALLISTIC with boos as Superstar slides out of the ring, shaking Szechstein to his feet and rolling the champ into the ring! CABOOSE BLACK AND MALIBU ARE DOWN! THIS MATCH IS SZECHSTEIN’S FOR THE TAKING! JR NO! NO, NOT LIKE THIS! But it is like this, as Szechstein drapes one arm over Black’s stomach… “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!” “TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” *DING DING DING* The fans nearly blow the roof off the arena, booing like crazy as Buffer grabs the microphone. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR winner, in one hour, six minutes, and thirty-one seconds… STILLLLLLLL THE OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD… His last words can’t even be heard, the booing is so loud, as the referee hands Calvin Szechstein his OAOAST Championship – still, his OAOAST Championship. Szechstein lay on his back in the ring, clutching the title close to his body… JR Dan Black put on a hell of a show tonight for IntenseZone. Zack Malibu put on a hell of a show for his pride. But in the end, Calvin Szechstein emerged victorious yet again! CABOOSE He’s like the Carolina Panthers – not the most talented, but he always finds a way to win! JR Calvin owes a huge assist to Superstar, but fans, we are OUT of time… for all of us here at OAOAST, GOOD NIGHT! ======================== OAOAST Anglepalooza 2004 A Love Connection Production ========================

JR Ladies and gentlemen across the globe, it’s time for our main event. This is good ol’ JR, representing the IntenseZone side of things… CABOOSE And Caboose, obviously the most popular and best member of the HeldDOWN announce team, calling things for our superior side. JR Whatever you say, Caboose. I just cannot wait to see what should be the biggest OAOAST Royal Rumble in history. It has high standards to live up to, undoubtedly. CABOOSE As a veteran of these matches, Ross, I can tell you that with the people entered in this thing, it will. In 2002 it was the HOSSIFIED~ Sole Survivor that won and he went on to later face Anglesault for the Championship in a Stairway to Heaven match. Then, in 2003, the biggest and greatest shock of the century happened as Angle-plex won the Royal Rumble. JR Oh, come on now. Zack had the match won…Agnes was hiding under the ring for almost the entire match! CABOOSE A win’s a win, JoJo. JR And speaking of wins, how about the announcement from earlier tonight? Calvin Szechstein, our OAOAST World Champion, will be in the match, and not only that, but he’ll be defending his Championship! What a shocking turn of events that was! CABOOSE What a man, JR. Not a single person in OAOAST history has done that before. Not even Zack, everyone’s dear boy. Anglesault, champion at the time, participated in the 2002 Rumble, but he didn’t have the balls to put his title on the line. This truly makes Calvin Szechstein our greatest champion EVER. JR Well, I guess that theory will be tested right now. Let’s take it over to Buffer for the announcement. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the THIRTY-MAN ROOOOOOOYAL RUUUUUUUMBLE MATCH, AND IT IS FOR THE O – A – O – A – S – T HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WOOOOOOORLD! The rules are as follows: two men start in the ring, and every two minutes, another competitor enters the ring. The only way to be eliminated is to be thrown over the top rope and have both feet touch the floor. Ladies and gentlemen…ARE – YOU – REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADY?!?! The Denver crowd cheers wildly, as… *BOOM!* “The Game” by Disturbed echoes throughout the Pepsi Arena! The cheers turn immediately to boos as Axel steps out of the curtain and briskly walks to the ring! BUFFER Now, introducing NUMBER ONE! Representing OAOAST HeldDOWN, From Tasmania, Australia, weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds, this is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAXELLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! Axel slides under the bottom rope and enters the ring, where he slumps against a corner and waits for his first opponent. As soon as he does, the Nappy Roots’ “Aww Naw” hits and the crowd jumps to their feet, going rabid for the OAOAST Corporate member! BUFFER Next, representing INTENSEZONE, from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds, BIIIIIIIG POPPPPPPAAAAAAAA POOOOOOOOPIIIIIIICK!!!!!! BPP races out of the curtain and quickly slides into the ring. Axel intercepts him, however, stomping him down as the match officially begins! JR And we start out the way we should, with HeldDOWN squaring off against IntenseZone! This is the only time a year we’ll get to see stars from these two shows battle, making this even more special. CABOOSE Oh, but come on, Ross…it’s Popick. I’m not sure anybody actually wants to see him fight. Axel brings Popick up and sends hard punches right to his face, before grabbing him by the arm and whipping him across the ring. As Popick rebounds, Axel swings for a clothesline, but BPP ducks it and, as Axel turns around, he leaps into the air, catching Axel right in the face with a picture-perfect dropkick! The Denver crowd roars as Axel goes down, but the Dark One quickly gets back to his feet. The two men lock horns in a collar-elbow tie-up, and Axel overpowers Popick, forcing him against a turnbuckle. Axel releases and sends two knife-edge chops against the chest of the corporate member, eliciting a “WOO!” from the Colorado crowd with each one. CABOOSE See, JR? Axel’s making his presence known, showing exactly why our show is superior to yours. JR If this brand rivalry is all you’re going to blabber about, it’s going to be a long night. Axel once again grabs Popick by the arm and whips him, this time to the opposite turnbuckle. However, Da Big Poppa~ is able to get his arms out, grabbing onto the ropes and stopping his momentum before hitting the turnbuckle. Axel still advances, however, and eats a mule kick to the gut by Popick. With Axel doubled over, BPP hooks in a front facelock and grabs Axel’s tights, hoisting him up into the air and falling back, bringing him down with a vertical suplex. BPP brings the Dark One back to his feet and unleashes with knife-edge chops of his own, before grabbing Axel by the head and walking towards the ropes. Popick tries to toss Axel over the top, but Axel hangs on, and then shoots his thumb back, catching Popick right in the eye with a VICIOUS eye gouge. JR Axel’s just a cheatin’ bastard! A no good sorry one, too! With Stephen temporarily blinded and doubled over (wouldn’t it suck to be like that in prison?), Axel grabs him by the head (on his shoulders) and swings around, so they’re standing back-to-back. Axel then drops down, bringing Popick with him in a swinging neckbreaker. As soon as this occurs, the Official Rumble Timer™ shows up on the screen, and the Denver fans begin counting down with it as it starts at ten! “TEN!” Axel gets up to his feet… “NINE!” …and begins stomping on Popick, relentless in his assault. “EIGHT!” “SEVEN!” Finally satisfied, Axel decides to go back into a corner and wait for the next entrant. “SIX!” “FIVE!” “FOUR!” However, Popick begins getting up, rolling to a corner, which he uses to pull himself up to his feet. Seeing this, Axel charges at Popick, flattening him against the turnbuckle with an avalanche. “THREE!” “TWO!” ”ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZ* “Debonaire” by Dope hits as the Pepsi Center collectively rises to its feet in confusion. However, when they see Gunner Sharps charge out through the curtain, a heavily mixed reaction passes through the crowd. BUFFER From Detroit, Michigan, representing HeldDOWN, weighing in at three hundred and thirty pounds, GUUUUUUUUUNNER SHAAAAAAAAAAAAARPSSSSSS!!! Gunner slides into the ring, going straight for Axel! The Dark One diverts his attention away from Popick and begins trading punches with the big Underground member, but Sharps is too strong, and he lifts his knee right into the midsection of Axel. With Axel hurt, Gunner grabs him around the waist and easily tosses him over his head backwards, executing a BIG belly-to-belly suplex! Axel flies halfway across the ring, landing right in the center as Popick regains his senses. BPP climbs to the second rope, which catches the attention of Sharps. Gunner rushes over and takes hold of Popick in almost a gorilla press position, launching him off the turnbuckle and right onto Axel, ending with almost a senton splash by the OAOAST Corporate sap. Caboose My god, Gunner Sharps is an IDIOT! He had the perfect opportunity to just toss Popick out of the ring, and instead, he throws him into the ring. That’s going to bite him in the ass later. Seeing Popick on top of Axel, Gunner gets rowdy (in a non-sexual way, you sickos), charging out of the corner and leaping into the air for a big splash…but both BPP and Axel roll out of the way, and Sharps eats canvas! Both Popick and Axel get to their feet, and they turn Gunner onto his back. Axel goes for the head as Popick goes for the crotch (no surprise there), and they both drop down, Axel executing a falling headbutt to the chest as BPP headbutts Gunner’s groin! CABOOSE Popick loves the crotch, Ross. JR Hey, nothing wrong with that. CABOOSE … JR I mean to say that attacking your opponent’s groin is a smart way to slow them down in a no-DQ environment like this one! With Sharps rolling around in agony, Popick and Axel both nod to each other. They bring Gunner to his feet and position him towards the ropes. They both grab one of his sides and charge towards the ropes, looking to toss him over the top…but Axel lets go, and clubs Popick right in the back of the head! BPP releases Sharps and staggers forward, as Axel grabs him by the arm and pulls him right into a short arm clothesline! As BPP hits the mat, Axel turns Gunner around and stares face to face with him. The two have a meeting of the minds (but not the coconut-crush kind), exchanging words. They then lock up, as Sharps easily powers Axel against the ropes. He releases the tie-up and hiplocks Axel OVER THE TOP ROPE! Axel falls…onto the apron, causing the crowd to jeer Axel’s ‘agility’. Gunner tries to kick Axel off the apron, but he holds onto the bottom rope for dear life as the Official Rumble Timer™ begins counting down. “TEN!” “NINE!” “EIGHT!” Axel is able to roll back into the ring, but Gunner stays on him, dropping a knee onto his head. “SEVEN!” “SIX!” Gunner rains hard punches down onto Axel’s head as the Denver crowd gets restless. “FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZ* “I’M JUST A GIRL!” The Pepsi Arena explodes as Crystal races from the back! BUFFER Representing HeldDOWN, from Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada, this is the female phenom, CRRRRRRRRRRRYSTAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!! Crystal leaps onto the apron and vaults to the top rope, as she spies the dopish Popick slowly getting to his feet. With his back to her, Crystal leaps through the air and locks her legs around his neck, snapping him down to the canvas with a big flying headscissors! The crowd roars at the sight and begins a “CRYSTAL!” chant as she gets to her feet. JR YES! The female phenom has struck in the Rumble, and she’s ready to go! The ovation causes Gunner Sharps to take his attention away from Axel and turn to Crystal. He charges at the female phenom with malice in his eyes, swinging around for a big clothesline, but Crystal ducks! As Sharps goes by, Crystal leaps and shoots her legs out, hitting a big front dropkick to the large man’s back! Sharps staggers forward, and with him dazed, Crystal charges to the nearest ropes and leaps to the second rope, vaulting off and hitting a springboard dropkick, this time connecting with Sharps’ face, taking him down to the canvas! With the big man down, Crystal runs and leaps to the second rope again, this time vaulting backwards with her trademark double-jump moonsault…but as she goes through the air, AXEL appears, catching her! A wave of jeers goes through the Pepsi Arena as Axel falls forward, driving Crystal down forcefully with a big powerslam! CABOOSE I just got word from Coach through my headset, and he wants me to say “DAMN YOU, AXEL, DAMN YOUR SOUL!” Axel brings Crystal to her feet with a smug look, and once face to face with her, Axel rears back…and smacks Crystal across the face! The crowd’s hate grows even larger as the Dark One grabs Crystal by the hair and runs towards the ropes, tossing Crystal over the top…but BPP returns, attacking Axel from behind and stopping him! The crowd cheers as Popick turns Axel around and sends a flurry of punches to his face. He kicks Axel in the midsection and grabs him in a front facelock, lifting him upside down into the air…then he shifts Axel’s weight, flipping him around as he falls forward, dropping him with the uranage that he calls the Fallen Angel as the Official Rumble Timer™ begins counting down! “TEN!” CABOOSE Hey, what do you know, Popick actually does something here! JR Shut it. Are you still jealous that you were never the leader of the Deadly Alliance when Popick was around? “NINE!” “EIGHT!” As soon as BPP reaches his feet, however, Gunner Sharps is waiting for him, and catches Popick with a HUGE boot to the head! BPP goes down like a sack of bricks. “SEVEN!” “SIX!” Recovered, Crystal tries her luck again with the big man. “FIVE!” She shoots her leg forward for a superkick, but Gunner catches her leg and flips her backward. “FOUR!” “THREE!” Crystal lands on her feet and charges, but Sharps grasps her around the throat, signaling for a chokeslam! “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZZZZ* “Hate Me Now” by Nas kicks in, and the fans leap to their feet as Reject rushes out of the curtain! BUFFER Representing Intensezone, from New York City, weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds, REEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCT!!!!!!!!!!!! Seeing a damsel in distress, Reject leaps onto the apron and vaults to the top rope, flying off with a big superkick that catches Sharps right in the head! Gunner drops to the mat hard as the crowd roars for the OAOAST mainstay. Reject checks to make sure Crystal is okay, but he’s blindsided by Axel! The Aussie quickly grabs the New Yorker and hoists him up onto his shoulders in an inverted fireman’s carry, setting him up for the Axel Slam! CABOOSE That’s what Reject gets for breaking up some gratuitous violence on the opposite sex! JR You’re one twisted individual. Axel falls to his side, ready to deliver his finishing maneuver, but this time Crystal comes to Reject’s aid, lifting her leg right between Axel’s! *CHING!* Axel drops Reject and falls to his knees. Seeing this, after nodding to Crystal, Reject runs to the ropes and comes back. He vaults off of Axel’s knee and swings his leg around, cracking Axel right in the head with a shining wizard knee! As this happens, Gunner Sharps reaches his feet and stands poised, ready to charge at Reject and Crystal. However, Gunner is surprised as Popick COMES~ behind him (!!!) and laces his own arms through Sharps’, locking in a full nelson. BPP moves back and gets on the second turnbuckle, preparing to deliver the Synchronicity. However, Gunner is too heavy, and he is able to stand his ground and flip Popick over his head, down to the mat! Free of the lecherous Poppa, Sharps charges with a full head of steam towards Reject, looking for a Gore, but Crystal sees him out of the corner of her eye and spins her leg around, cracking him on the head with a buzzsaw kick! As she does this, Reject runs to the ropes and rebounds. As he charges at the fallen Sharps, he does a front roll on the mat, and then leaps, flipping through the air and coming down on Gunner with the rolling thunder! JR This pairing between the two brands’ Crystal and Reject is EXPLOSIVE! Seeing that they are the last ones standing, Crystal and Reject high-five each other, much to the delight of the crowd! Before they can get too comfortable, however, the Official Rumble Timer™ kicks in again! “TEN!” “NINE!” “EIGHT!” “SEVEN!” “SIX!” “FIVE!” “FOUR!” “THREE!” “TWO!” “ONE!” *BUZZZZZZZZ* "Pompeii" hits, and a collective gasp falls over the crowd. JR Bah gawd, look at this monster on his way to the ring! BUFFER The next entrant, representing OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, hails from St. Andrew's Cathedral. He is GIBRAAAALLLTARRRRR~! The monster of The Communion stalks to the ring, while the action inside it continues. Once at ringside, Gibraltar slowly makes his way up the steps, and the Rumble seems to be on pause, as Reject and Crystal back up, watching the entrance of this monstrosity. Popick gets to his feet, shaking his head free of the cobwebs, as Gibraltar steps over the ropes and into the ring. Reject gives it a go first, charging the big man, but catches an elbow to the cheek that spins him around. Popick charges next, helping out his IntenseZone comrade, and starts hitting stiff knife edge chops on the Unholy monster, but they have no effect on this demon! Gibraltar grabs Popick's arm, twisting it, then hooks the other, and rams his head into Popick's once...twice...three times! Popick, weary from being caught with the Trapping Headbutts, is easy prey for Gibraltar, who keeps his arms locked...AND TIGER SUPLEXES POPICK OVER THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR BELOW~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Big Poppa Popick ENTERED: 2nd LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Reject, Crystal, Axel, Gunner Sharps ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR BAH GAWD, I DON’T BELIEVE IT! Big Poppa Popick was the first man eliminated from the Royal Rumble! CABOOSE Believe it, JR. You’re IZ boys don’t hold a candle to the fresh blood on HeldDOWN~! Speaking of fresh blood, it looks like Gibraltar smell some! In the ring, the big man turns his head, looking away from his first casualty and at his other potential victims. As he turns, the Female Phenom of the OAOAST, Crystal, hits a dropkick to his chest, but it gets swatted away by the much larger adversary! Crystal quickly gets back to her feet, but as she does, she’s grabbed by the throat and HURLED backwards, her back colliding violently with the corner turnbuckles! Crystal staggers forward, into the arms of Gibraltar, who grabs her by the hair. Gibraltar eyes Crystal for a moment, plotting what to do with her next, and then takes her by the hair and hurls her over the top rope and to the floor, marking the second elimination in this contest! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Crystal ENTERED: 4th LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Reject, Axel, Gunner Sharps ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR It looks like the long awaited dream of the first ever female World Champion will have to wait, as Crystal has just made friends with the floor mats! CABOOSE She’s overhyped anyway. If I still were an active competitor, she’d not only fall to my superior ring skills, but learn that her place is in the kitchen and the bedroom, not the ring. JR Taking commentary lessons from Paul E., Caboose? CABOOSE Don’t patronize me, Ross. I have to sit next to Teenybopper Cole and The Human Hormone every Thursday. My venom is well thought out, and deserved by those whom I strike with it. Mere seconds after Crystal went airborne and crashed to the floor below, Reject jumps up on Gibraltar’s back, locking in a sleeperhold in a valiant attempt to wear the big man down! Gibraltar, slightly stunned by the move, turns his back to the corner and powers himself into it, crushing Reject under his massive frame! Gibraltar slowly walks out of the corner, then rapidly spins around and lariats Reject, driving him backwards over the top rope and to the floor for the THIRD ELIMINATION in this brief period of time! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reject ENTERED: 5th LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Gunner Sharps, Axel ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR Three eliminations in nearly a minute, all due to that monster right there! The reaction is mixed now, as the hated Gibraltar has taken out three crowd favorites with rapid succession. He makes his way toward center ring, where a recovered Axel, as well as a rested Gunner Sharps, two men who are larger than most, await. The three HeldDOWN~! Talents stare at each other, and Axel and Gunner give a quick nod to each other, and start double teaming Gibraltar! The two hosses start clubbing on Gibraltar, hitting his chest so hard that it could cave in, but Gibraltar merely shoves them off, although they’re succeeding in driving the wind out of him! The monster wobbles, showing that his balance is waning, and both Axel and Gunner take an arm each and pull him for an Irish Whip, but Gibraltar keeps his feet firmly planted! Another try at it, with the same result, and Gibraltar pulls his arms away, then hits a double clothesline of his own, taking out both Axel and Gunner! He picks up Gunner and wraps his arms around his waist, jamming his shoulder into his ribs and pushing him backwards into the corner, taking the air right out of the former Underground henchman, then continues to ram his shoulders into Gunner’s gut! Gibraltar turns away, and Axel charges him, but Gibraltar sidesteps, shoving Axel into the corner, right into Gunner! Axel falls backwards, as Gunner slumps down, but Sharps is promptly pulled up and dumped over the top rope by Gibraltar, marking the Rumble’s fourth elimination, all of which have been by the same man~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gunner Sharps ENTERED: 3rd LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Axel ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR We get a new contestant every two minutes, and since the time Gibraltar entered not even two minutes ago, he has been a one man wrecking crew. We may have an empty ring by the time our next participant arrives on the scene! Seeing that Axel is the only one left with him, Gibraltar stands above him as he recovers, spinning him around with a pull of the hair. Gibraltar reaches down and pushes Axel’s body up above his head, holding him up with a military press, but Axel starts shaking his body free from Gibraltar’s grip, and falls down behind him! Surprised, Gibraltar turns around to see a charging Axel, and quickly tucks his head, backdropping Axel over the top rope and down for the FIFTH elimination tonight! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Axel ENTERED: 1st LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CABOOSE JR, for once, you were right! The match is at a standstill! We have an empty ring! JR Not for long though, Caboose. We’re just mere seconds away from someone else, someone who may, God willing, cut this beast down to size! Gibraltar paces the ring, his stone face showing no real emotion other than pure evil determination. He stalks around the ring, with the crowd booing him heavily, despite his version of a housecleaning in this matchup. Time begins to wind down… TEN…NINE…EIGHT …and Gibraltar puts his eyes on the aisleway, awaiting his next challenge. FOUR…THREE…TWO…ONE! “I pledge allegiance, to the flag…of the United States of TEDDY~!” BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, from OAOAST IntenseZone, hailing from Hollis, ME, this is TEDDDD-EEE WEDDD-EEEE~! “What’s My Name” by Snoop Doggy Dogg kicks up after the intro, and Ted Weddy marks his arrival to Anglepalooza, accompanied by Gary Busey and J-Train. Weddy stays at the top of the ramp, giving himself a Goldberg like warmup session, before darting down the aisle and into the lion’s den. CABOOSE I’ve never seen someone be in so much of a hurry to get killed. Weddy darts down the aisle and slides into the ring, under Gibraltar’s grip and through his legs, dodging his attack! Gibraltar turns around and lunges for Teddy again, but Teddy dodges him again, and unleashes a kick to the back of Gibraltar’s leg! Gibraltar turns for Teddy again, trying to capture him, but Teddy ducks under his legs and again pops up behind him, this time dropkicking the giant in the back of the knee, forcing him down on one knee briefly! Only fueled by Teddy’s persistence, Gibraltar gets back up on both feet, as Teddy runs the ropes, hitting a basement dropkick to the front of Gibraltar’s knee, again staggering the big man! JR Teddy’s playing it cool, using the old boxing adage of floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. What a coup it would be for that youngster to take big Gibraltar off his feet, eh? Teddy plays to the crowd for a few precious seconds, then goes over to Gibraltar, who pushes himself back up to a vertical base. Teddy does a Shane McMahon Shuffle in front of Gibraltar, then starts firing off jabs to the chin of Gibraltar! CABOOSE I don’t know if Gibraltar has a glass jaw, but Weddy obviously has a clear head. He’s toying with a weapon of mass destruction! Gibraltar flinches slightly, then wraps his enormous hand over Teddy’s face and shoves him to the mat, pie-facing him. Busey and J-Train come in close and whisper words of wisdom (or insanity, take your pick) to Teddy, while the beast from St. Andrew’s Cathedral closes in on him. Teddy scurries backwards into the ropes, trying to pull himself up, but Gibraltar has a grip on his foot, and pulls him up and away from the ropes, causing Teddy’s head to slam on the canvas! Shaken by the impact, Teddy is too stunned to realize he’s being picked up by the throat, into a hanging double choke, then tossed hard into the corner by Gibraltar! Gibraltar runs in at Teddy, lifting a knee and drilling it into the offbeat superstar’s ribs! Teddy slouches, but Gibraltar pulls him back up to a straight, standing position in the corner, and then grabs the top ropes and he lifts his leg up and jams it into Teddy’s throat, choking him out with his boot as Teddy is trapped in the corner! Gibraltar releases the hold, as Busey and Train slap the apron in an attempt to rally the fans behind Teddy, but Gibraltar pulls him out of the corner and into his arms, dropping him to the canvas with a sideslam! Gibraltar stands up, shrugging his shoulders off, as the timer hits the count of ten seconds. The fans count along… NINE…EIGHT…SEVEN… …as the next entrant could be someone to rid the ring of this modern day destroyer! THREE TWO ONE!!! “Believe In Angels” plays, and the fans ERUPT, as the OAOAST’s sentimental favorite, SPIDER-POET~! Emerges from behind the curtain! BUFFER Hailing from Charleston, South Carolina, a member of the OAOAST IntenseZone roster, this is the SPIDAH-POET~! Poet charges the ring, sliding in and popping up right in front of the face of evil, the monster Gibraltar! Poet throws out several elbows to stun the big man, then backs up and bounces off the ropes, using his momentum to drive a boot into Gibraltar’s midsection, then run the ropes again as he’s keeled over, and hits a Yakuza-esque boot to the side of the big man’s head, BUT HE’S STILL STANDING! Gibraltar fights through the pain and turns back to SP, throwing his arm out, but SP ducks under the lariat and kicks Gibraltar low, hitting him in the universal weak spot for all males! Poet grabs his arm and Irish Whips him into the corner, and the ring shakes upon impact! Gibraltar stands dazed, and Poet keeps his momentum up by rushing the corner and leaping up, crushing the monster with a corner splash! The fans are going absolutely gonzo, as the Poet perches himself on the second rope, and starts hammering down on Gibraltar with a flurry of punches! JR Look at him go, opening up a can o’ whoopass on that giant! CABOOSE Even the sun shines on a dog’s ass once in a great while, JR. Poet throws something like fifteen punches to wear out Gibraltar, and then gets down from his middle rope perch. Noticing that Ted Weddy is getting to his feet, Poet calls to him, and the two IZ roster members unleash chops on the chest of St. Andrew’s natural born killer, reddening his chest! They each take an arm, and pull Gibraltar out of the corner, looking to send him to the opposite corner, but instead they SWERVE~! Us all by ramming Gibraltar back first into the turnbuckles, keeping him trapped in the corner! JR They’ve got him cornered here, Caboose. Even that gargantuan can only handle so much of a two on one assault! CABOOSE Poet and Weddy are playing the right game. If the numbers start to work in their favor, they MIGHT be able to get him out of here. They just better hope that the next few entrants see it that way! Just as Caboose utters those words, the Official Rumble Timer ™ begins to countdown the final ten seconds until a new entrant will be revealed. As always, the crowd shouts out loud with the countdown, until the buzzer hits, bringing out entrant number nine in the 2004 Royal Rumble. “Pompeii” hits, and the crowd begins to boo, as it’s the leader of the Communion, ST. ANDREW himself~! BUFFER Representing OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, hailing from St. Andrew’s Cathedral, he is SAINT ANDREWWW~! CABOOSE Forget what I just said, Ross! Gibraltar has some help! JR It’s every man for himself, Caboose. Or are you going senile? CABOOSE YOU’RE calling ME senile? The guy who can’t decide which one is Jericho and which one is Benoit? Andrew makes his way to the ring with a quicker step than usual, stepping in through the middle ropes and delivering an axe handle to the back of Spider Poet, pulling him away from his attack on Gibraltar, then putting SP against the ropes and slapping his chest with an open hand chop! JR Heaven and hell, colliding in this very ring tonight! Andrew whips SP to the other side, but SP counters and pulls Andrew into him, then spins around with Andrew in his grasp and drops him throat first on the top rope with a hot shot~! Andrew hangs on the top rope, and Poet grabs his left leg and tries to dump him over, but Andrew hangs on, eventually driving Poet away by elbowing him away. The X Division star gets away from the ropes and starts engaging in fisticuffs with SP, but gets the better of him by kneeing him in the gut, then hurling him over the ropes…BUT POET HANGS ON! Poet lands on the apron and quickly pulls himself up to his feet. Andrew comes to knock him off the apron, but Poet rams a shoulder into his stomach, then slingshots in and grabs Andrew’s head, hitting a DDT on his way back into the ring! The fans rejoice in Poet surviving the close call, but over in the corner, it appears the tide has turned back to Gibraltar’s favor, as Teddy climbed up on the ropes for a punch-fest, and promptly gets shoved to the canvas! Teddy quickly gets up, but Gibraltar bolts out of the corner and hits a big boot that puts the wacky one down again. With Weddy out of it, Gibraltar turns to see Poet putting the boots to his master, and he heads for him! Poet doesn’t even see Gibraltar coming, and winds up locked in a full nelson, holding him at bay while St. Andrew pulls himself up. Andrew slaps Poet’s face in a taunting fashion while Gibraltar holds him, then tells Gibraltar to “send him to Hell!” Gibraltar responds by turning Poet towards him, grabbing him by the throat and lifting him for a chokeslam, but sits out with the move and SP crashes to the mat as if he was powerbombed! With Poet down, St. Andrew goes to the recovering Ted Weddy and locks him in a waistlock, but Teddy fires an elbow back and spins around, getting his own waistlock on St. Andrew. Andrew runs towards the ropes, but as he gets closer, he purposely falls to the mat, and the momentum carries Teddy over the top rope, and he’s unable to hold on! Ted Weddy is out of the Royal Rumble! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Teddy Weddy ENTERED: 7th LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: St. Andrew LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, SpiderPoet, St. Andrew ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JR With just fifteen seconds until another person entered the match, we’ve lost another one, as St. Andrew has cost Ted Weddy a win in this matchup! CABOOSE Thank God for that. Could you imagine that screwball going to Anglemania and getting a shot at the World Title? JR It’s no worse than David Arquette. CABOOSE At least David Arquette brought publicity. JR Bad publicity. CABOOSE Good, bad, what does it matter. If you’re name is out there, it’s worthwhile. The bickering continues, while in the ring the two members of the Communion stomp the virtuous Poet in mid ring. The timer again ticks down the customary ten second countdown, paving the way for the tenth man to see action tonight… CUE: “Mr. Brownstone” by Guns N’ Roses BUFFER Enterning at number ten, from OAOAST IntenseZone, currently residing in Las Vegas, Nevada, he is DAAAAANGEROUSSSS AAAAAY~! JR Well, if there is any man who can match power move for power move with Gibraltar, it’s this man! Strong style is about to hit the ring! DA wastes no time, as he barges down the aisle and hits the ring to make the save for his IZ compadre. Andrew comes charging at him, but DA is ready for the attack, and he uses Andrew’s momentum against him, pushing him up in the air and bringing him down with a flapjack! Andrew crashes to the mat, and DA turns his focus to Gibraltar, pulling him away from SP, booting him in the gut, then locking his arms like you would for a Pedigree, then hitting hard knee shots to the sternum of Gibraltar! JR Look at him go, cutting him down to size! DA keeps his hands locked, not giving the monster any opening to gain an advantage. Spider Poet pushes himself to his feet, just at the time that Andrew gets up as well. The leader of the Communion fires off a shot to SP’s chin, then leaps up onto his shoulders with a rana, but SP pushes himself off, flipping Andrew back to his feet in front of him! Before Andrew can react, Poet launches himself forward with a clothesline, sending Andrew flipping over the top rope and landing on the ringside floor! JR Yes! The sinner goes out via the saint! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ St. Andrew ENTERED: 9th LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: Teddy Weddy ELIMINATED BY: SpiderPoet LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, SpiderPoet, Dangerous A ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SP falls to his knees, supported by the ropes, but taking a much needed breather. DA tries to carry the now-weakened Gibraltar over, but the big man uses his leverage advantage to stand up and backdrop the strong style superstar to the canvas. Gibraltar staggers forward, grabbing the ropes but keeping himself up, as all three men seem to be collecting themselves and plotting out their next course of action. DA gets up and decides that he doesn’t want to wait, engaging in a lockup with Gibraltar, and promptly getting shoved to his back! Gibraltar brushes him off easily, but then Poet rushes in, trying a lockup of his own, but again getting shoved off. Gibraltar seems to enjoy the attempts, and seems to enjoy his overpowering defense even more. Flustered, DA and Poet go for him at the same time, each man taking an arm and wrenching it numerous times, then keeping his arms locked! CABOOSE What are they doing? This isn’t a submission match! JR Would you be able to throw someone out if using your arm put you in pain? CABOOSE Don’t get all technical with me, hick boy. DA and Poet continue to work over the arms of the lumbering giant, twisting and wrenching away as they walk him around the ring. Gibraltar, typically emotionless. Seems to get angered more and more as the seconds go on, and the wear-down continues on, as the timer again strikes the ten second mark. TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO… ONE~~~!!!! “Higher” by Creed hits, and the fans cheer as another crowd favorite, hD~!’s Mad One himself, MAD MATT, charges down the aisle! BUFFER From Peoria, IL, and representing OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, weighing in at 211 lbs., this is MAAAAAAD MAAAAAATT~! Matt climbs up on the apron, and seeing DA and Poet with Gibraltar being kept at bay, he climbs to the top rope as they get in position. Matt leaps off, and DA and Poet let go, as Matt hits a missle dropkick, but it merely drives Gibraltar back a few steps! JR He will not go down! It’s like he’s rooted in the ground like an oak tree! Realizing that it’s going to take greater effort, DA and Poet quickly recapture Gibraltar, wrenching his arms again, and Matt again takes to the top rope. This time, however, Gibralter uses brute strength to pull DA and SP into each other, mashing their heads together! Matt dives off the top anyways, this time with a cross body, but it’s caught by Gibraltar, who then falls forward, crushing Matt with a powerslam! CABOOSE Send someone out there with a spatula to recover Mad Matt~! Gibraltar looks down at the cruiserweight, his spine now turned to jelly after the shock and impat of that maneuver. Suddenly, Gibraltar is struck across the chest via a DA lariat that slightly staggers him! DA hits the ropes again, and hits another lariat with the same result! DA reaches down and tries to lift Gibraltar up with a slam, but can’t budge the much larger star, so he tries a front waistlock, sticking his shoulder into Gibraltar’s ribs and trying to suplex him over, but Gibraltar slams a clubbing forearm down on DA’s back, then pulls him in and lifts him up, powerbombing him to the canvas! JR He will not quit! He’s laying waste to the roster once again! Gibraltar looks down at Matt and DA, but for a brief moment forgets about SP, who delivers a sidekick to Gibraltar that phases him even more! Gibraltar turns and catches himself with the ropes, pushing himself to a vertical base and turning around, infuriated with Poet. With the fans behind him, Poet WAVES GIBRALTAR ON~! CABOOSE Can I pick out his tombstone? Gibraltar, taunted enough, gives chase, but Poet sidesteps the onslaught and Gibraltar crashes chest first into the corner, slamming his sternum against the top turnbuckle! Poet takes him by the head and rams it repeatedly into the top turnbuckle, doing anything he can to take Gibraltar off-course! Poet grabs his leg, and again an attempt at sending the dominant force in this match over the top. Mad Matt, now on his feet, comes over to lend support, as does DA a few moments later, but even the three on one pileup is having minimal effect in getting Gibraltar out of the ring! The efforts continue, as the three faces strain themselves in an effort to rid the Rumble of Gibraltar. The Official Rumble Timer ™ starts another ten second countdown, this time to welcome the twelfth superstar entered in the Rumble. “I’M NOT AFRAID”~! The familiar tune by Earshot starts up over the PA system, as the next superstar is THE SUPERSTAR~! BUFFER Entering at number twelve, representing OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, he is THE SUPERSTAR~! The fans boo mercilessly, as Superstar takes his blessed time in getting to the ring, as he sees Gibraltar breaking away from Matt, DA, and SP and nail them each separately with hard shots. Poet, never one to shy away from a challenge, gets right back up and again rushes the big man, but Gibraltar tucks his head and elevates SP over him, back bodydropping SP to the floor with a sickening thud! JR Mah Gawd, his back could be broken! CABOOSE If that’s all he gets after taunting a guy like THAT, he’s lucky. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SpiderPoet ENTERED: 8th LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: St. Andrew ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Dangerous A, Mad Matt, Superstar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Officials tend to the fallen SP, making sure he hasn’t done severe damage upon that crash landing. Meanwhile, Superstar circles ringside, teasing sliding in under the bottom rope, but pulling back when Gibraltar spied him, waving his hands to say that he wants no part in that! JR What a coward! CABOOSE Coward my ass, JR. He’s smarter than anyone else that’s been out here tonight. Whether Gibraltar gets rid of DA and Matt, or by some miracle they dump the big man, why should Superstar get his hands dirty? Let them do all the work! DA tries some more choppage, but gets cut off by a hand around his throat, as Gibraltar has had enough with “playtime”, and lifts DA up and drops him across his knee with a chokebreaker! DA convulses, as he was just nearly broken in half by the monster from The Communion! Superstar looks into the camera as he stands at ringside, still stalling like a mofo, and says “That look like it hurt!” JR He’s a keen observer, isn’t he? CABOOSE I think so. Maybe I’ll invite him to commentate the rest of the match with me. JR But he’s IN this match! He’s just buying himself some time! CABOOSE And maybe I should lend a hand in that! With DA down, Mad Matt must fight the good fight alone, as he unleashes some stiff kicks to the legs of Gibraltar, trying to take the big man out from underneath. Gibraltar flinches from side to side upon each kick’s impact, but is able to catch a kick, then reaches down and pulls Matt’s other leg out from under him. Matt lay on the mat, his legs held by Gibraltar, and he’s lifted and swung around with a GIANT SWING~!, the end result being Matt tosses across the ring after Gibraltar tires of spinning him around! Superstar heads over to the fallen former X Champion, and mumbles something taunting to him, while still keeping his distance from any action by staying at ringside! Once again, Gibraltar is the last man standing in the ring, as the timer goes off once again. JR Hopefully this entry is a bit more eager to actually compete tonight. CABOOSE Hey now, Superstar already took part in a tough contest tonight, one that he won, if you recall. The man deserves a break! The seconds wind down… FOUR! THREE! Superstar turns to see who is coming down the aisle, as Gibraltar stands above the fallen bodies of IZ’s DA and hD~!’s Matt. TWO! ONE! “WAKE ME UP!” JR YES! YES! MAH GAWD BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP! “Bring Me To Life” hits, and Zack Malibu SPRINTS out of the dressing room and down to the ringside area! Superstar runs around the ring, avoiding his nemesis, and Malibu’s chase leads Superstar to roll into the ring to escape! Superstar backs up and points a finger at Malibu, as Zack is still on the outside looking in. As SS taunts him, Gibraltar turns and sees Superstar with his back turned, and inches closer and closer to the cocky youngster. JR Superstar had better watch out, or he’s going to get straight clowned by Gibraltar! As Gibraltar inches towards Superstar, Zack slides into the ring, pointing for Superstar to look behind him! Superstar turns around, only to run into a stiff right hand to the jaw from Gibraltar! Supes staggers back, reeling from the blow, and Malibu continues on the offensive, charging towards the Superstar and leveling him with a hard clothesline! JR Zack Malibu is on fire here, folks! CABOOSE Pity I don’t have any matches to legitimize that claim… Malibu continues going to town on the Superstar, grabbing him by the hair and pummeling a bit more, and in his fury he doesn’t notice Dangerous A sneaking up behind him. As Malibu’s aggressive following of SS brings him closer to the ropes, DA sneaks up behind him… then strikes, grabbing Malibu between the legs and looking to catch him by surprise, throwing him over the ropes! JR Dangerous A could eliminate Zack Malibu right here! But Malibu will have none of that, and he holds firm to the ropes, not allowing DA to lift him off the mat. The crowd roars as A lets go of Malibu, and the prep turns around, charging Dangerous A and knocking him over with a lariat! The big man falls to the mat, and Malibu grabs him, lifting him to his feet and whipping him into the ropes… following closely behind so that he may knock DA out with a monster clothesline! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dangerous A ENTERED: 10th LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Mad Matt, Superstar, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Malibu stands in the center of the ring, celebrating for a moment, only to be flattened by Gibraltar! The big man, now, stands tall in the middle, as Superstar gets to his feet slowly, Mad Matt doing the same on another part of the ring. Malibu, somewhere else, struggles to bring himself to a knee as the clock counts down… FIVE! FOUR! Superstar gets up, challenging Gibraltar, only to take a huge lariat from the big man! THREE! TWO! ONE! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! JR It’s… Sturgis! Sturgis comes charging down to the ring, sliding in instantly and looking to try his luck against Gibraltar, flinging himself at the big man with a huge crossbody – but Gibraltar merely catches him, falling forward and slamming him to the mat with a huge powerslam! Behind Gibraltar, Malibu and Superstar both get to their feet. Malibu grabs SS, pulling him close and looking to suplex him, but at the opportune moment Mad Matt gets up, kicking Malibu in the back of the head! Zack hits the mat, and Matt, mad, yells at Zack, “ARE YOU ATTACKING ME?” JR Apparently, Mad Matt thinks Zack is responsible for recent attacks on his well-being! CABOOSE I’d just like Matt to die, myself. Sturgis, meanwhile, has gotten back to his feet, and with a huge burst of intensity he kicks Gibraltar in the face, knocking the big man back-first to the mat! Sturgis grins broadly and goes to the corner, climbing onto the top rope and slapping his chest, trying to fire the crowd up. JR IT’S FOUR FITTY TIME~!~!~!~!~!~!~! Sturgis looks out at Gibraltar, the three-hundred pounder steadying himself on the top rope before LEAPING OFF, flipping forward in the air and looking to land stomach-first on Gibraltar… but he stops in midair, his head looking to make a collision… *BAM!* With the mat! Sturgis spikes himself into the mat, and Gibraltar sits up, snickering a bit at Sturgis’ misfortune before hauling himself to his feet. CABOOSE I believe it was Lesnar time just now, JR. Matt, meanwhile, continues to beat on the head of Zack Malibu, with Superstar helping out with a few blows to the stomach of Malibu! Mad Matt, a bit mad, lifts Malibu to his feet, looking to shove Zack over the top rope while Superstar merely chews on his bottom lip… but then, SS ATTACKS~, charging forward and leveling Matt with a huge clothesline! Matt hits the mat, a bit mad from the impact as Malibu falls clumsily to the mat, the Superstar grinning as the crowd boos. JR Look at Superstar. What a cutthroat son of a bitch! CABOOSE Oh, don’t mess your adult diapers, you silly Southerner. The crowd begins to count down the time until the next participant… FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! JR It’s… DAMARAMU! Damaramu comes RUSHING out of the back, blood from the cage match still caked over him! He charges down the ramp and into the ring, his eyes glittering as he sets his sights on the Superstar! SS turns around to face the new threat, looking to clock Damaramu with a hard right… but Damaramu ducks it, grabbing Superstar around the legs and lifting him up, only to slam him down to the mat with a HUGE powerslam! The crowd pops for Superstar getting pasted by the sadistic newcomer, while Damaramu scans the ring, searching for his next victim. Malibu starts to get up off the mat, and Damaramu grabs him and scoops him up, looking to send him over the ropes, but Zack falls over his shoulder, landing on his feet! Damaramu quickly tuns around, but Malibu is a HOUSE OF FIRE~!, as these two HeldDOWN~! Stars do battle for the first time ever! Damaramu gets backed into the corner by Zack, and continues to get hammered with punches. Malibu pulls him up, and sends him out of the corner with a whip, but Dama reverses in mid-stream, sending Zack across the ring…RIGHT INTO THE GRIP OF GIBRALTAR~! Gibraltar grabs Zack by the throat, and lifts him up, but Malibu counters by kicking him low while he’s lifted! Gibraltar winces, releasing his grip on the prep. Damaramu bolts out of the corner, but Malibu sidesteps him, and Dama collides with the big man, flopping to the mat upon impact! Sturgis slowly picks himself up off the mat, and clubs a recovering Superstar from behind as he was recovering. Mad Matt gets up as well, as they team up to try and dump Superstar, who wraps his arms around the ropes to hold on. Superstar teeters on the brink of elimination, as the two on one attack is coming closer to dumping him over, when Sturgis gets nailed from behind by a recovered Damaramu! JR Like a shark that smells blood, Damaramu saw that Sturgis hurt his neck earlier, and is going for him! Dama proves JR to be correct, as he turns Sturgis around, kneeing him in the ribs and then delivering a DDT that sends shockwaves through his neck and spine! The crowd boos as the bloody superstar (not to be confused with The Superstar) gets up, then pounces back on Sturgis, pulling his head back with a neck wrench. We’ve got six men in the ring, and we’re about to have a seventh, as the clock ticks down to the entry of our next participant… …THREE! …TWO~! …ONE~!! CUE: "Shin-Jingi Naki Tatakai" JR SHOOTER JAY~! SHOOTER JAY~! CABOOSE Ease off the Jolt Cola, JR. Jay Darring sprints to the ring, sliding in and nailing EVERYONE~! A right hand for Zack, one for Mad Matt, ditto Superstar. He turns around and hits a forearm to the chest of Gibraltar, then another, then backs up to the ropes and comes at the big man with a full head of speed…AND GETS CAUGHT WITH A LARIAT BY DAMARAMU~! JR He almost decapitated him! CABOOSE I think that was what he was going for. Dama puts the boots to Jay, then picks him up and shoves him backwards, into the arms of Gibraltar, who hits a Full Nelson Slam on the technical wiz! Damaramu turns, but gets tackled by Sturgis, who fights his way up and runs Dama back into the ropes! Sturgis takes Dama by the head, but Dama slips out and reaches down, lifting Sturgis by his legs and throwing him over the top rope to the floor! JR Sturgis is outta here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sturgis ENTERED: 14th LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Damaramu LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Mad Matt, Superstar, Zack Malibu, Damaramu, Shooter Jay ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CABOOSE That was our tenth elimination, JR. That means 19 more men have to meet the concrete before we decide a winner. JR We’re more than halfway through the entrants right now. Look at the action in the ring here! In the ring, Mad Matt and Superstar continue their brawling. Dama and Gibraltar double up on Jay Darring, setting him up for a double powerbomb, until Jay shoves Dama away from him, and Zack catches him, putting him on the mat with a back suplex! Jay gets up to his feet, hammering on Gibraltar, but Gibraltar hits a throat thrust to stun Jay, and then sends him into the corner HARD! Jay hits, and Gibraltar looks to crush him, but Darring moves at the last second! Gibraltar crashed chest-first, and almost immediately, Zack runs across the ring and delivers a Stinger Splash, crushing the big man in the corner! JR That big man has to be getting weary, no matter his size. CABOOSE Even a weary Gibraltar cannot be taken lightly, JR. Look at the results he’s gotten tonight! The battle continues in the ring, as Malibu and Darring focus on Gibraltar, feeling that twice the power may help cut him down to size. Damaramu comes over and attempts to help out Gibraltar, pulling Malibu away and raking his eyes, then going for a running lariat, but Zack somersaults under it! Dama catches himself before his own momentum sent him over the top, and Zack lunges forward with his leg out, going for a YAKUZA Kick, but Dama uses his spider sense~ to sidestep the move, and Zack gets crotched on the top rope! Damaramu ducks under Malibu’s arm and hoists him up into the air, diagonally, before dropping back and driving the prep’s head into the mat with a vicious backdrop driver! Damaramu pops up and cockily raises his arms in the air, soaking in the jeers of the crowd. However, as he does this, some familiar drums sound up. It’s the OU FIGHT SONG~ JR Bah gawd, it’s the musical masterpiece! The greatest song ever! But why now…? CABOOSE Oh crap, no, this can’t be what I think it is… The crowd EXPLODES as a figure steps out of the curtain and appears at the top of the ramp… JR RYAN SMITH! RYAN SMITH! GOOD GAWD ALIMIGHTY, IT’S RYAN SMITH! CABOOSE At least clean up your mess, JR. Dama simply stares forward in shock, dumbstruck at the sight of the man he crippled standing in the arena! Meanwhile, Malibu rises to his knees, and seeing Damaramu distracted, he grabs Dama by the legs and pushes him up…and over the top rope, sending him to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Damaramu ENTERED: 15th LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: Sturgis ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: Gibraltar, Mad Matt, Superstar, Zack Malibu, Jay Darring ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TO BE CONTINUED...

::The AngleTron lights up with a video of San Juan, Puerto Rico. The crowd pops, as they are surprised. As the video shows footage of different places of San Juan, an organ is heard playing a sweet, gentle song. The video shows the beautiful beaches of San Juan. Follow by looks at Olde' San Juan. The organ music continues to play, as the crowd becomes hyper waiting for PRL's appearance. The video shifts from San Juan to New York City. The video shows footage of Times Square. Follow by Madison Square Garden and the Statue of Liberty at night. The video then shows a helicopter circling NYC at night follow by a look at the Manhattan skyline. Then Yankee Stadium and the Brooklyn Bridge. The organ music changes by going a high note as an angelic choir joins in. The video shows the Empire State Building and a NYC nightclub before shifting to Miami, Florida. The organ music continues playing as the video shows Miami at night. It shows footage of Miami Beach follow by a bird’s eye view of Pro Player Stadium. Miami's many nightclubs are shown as the organ music nears its end with the crowd getting more and more excited to see PRL. The video then shows Orlando, Florida, more specifically, Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure. As the organ music ends, the lighthouse at Islands of Adventure is shown with the light from the lighthouse shinning in front of the camera as the word "LIGHTNING" is said in a whisper. A lightning bolt hits the entrance and the crowd pops big time. Smoke and pyro fills the entrance as the AngleTron shows a blue screen with the words "PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING" in big blue blocky letters. "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" starts up as the AngleTron shows PRL sneering at the camera in a broken down warehouse.:: JR: Well, it looks like it is now time for the OaOasT North American Championship Hardcore Match! Jesse: Bye-Bye Shuffle. Hope you had a nice career. ::The lights go down, as the fans see a silhouette of someone near the entrance. The crowd pops then boos, as they know it is the silhouette of Puerto Rican Lightning. Puerto Rican Lightning raises his right arm, which has the OaOasT North American Title. He then raises his left arm, which has the Puerto Rican Championship. He turns around as the lights go back on and the crowd begins booing big time. They begin throwing garbage and chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as PRL walks to the ring, cocky, and confident as usual. He is holding both his belts on his shoulders and dares the fans to touch his belts. Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and Vitamin X, who is wearing a white trucker hat, a white Lightning Crew t-shirt, black baggy shorts, a gold chain, and sneakers, are all not smiling and looking into the ring with focused looks on them. The three LC members follow PRL to the ring. Vitamin X kisses PRL’s ass as he walks to the ring, telling the camera how great he is, with PRL saying “That is true.” The entire time. PRL continues to walk cool and confident into the ring.:: JR: The Shuffle has the chance of a lifetime tonight against Puerto Rican Lightning. The Shuffle could win his first OaOasT title belt and against Puerto Rican Lightning to boot. Jesse: You must be high or have eaten too much barbecue sauce because Shuffle will NOT win against PRL. He is not even in his league. *DING DING DING* Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a Hardcore Match scheldued for one fall, and is for The One And Only Anglesault Thread North American Heavyweight Wrestling Championship! Introducing first, coming down the aisle weighing in at 223lbs. Accompanying to the ring by The Official Bodyguard of the Lightning Crew, Mr. Boricua. The Official Muscle of the Lightning Crew, Cuban Wall. And the Third-In-Command of the Lightning Crew, Vitamin X. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. He is The One And Only Anglesault Thread North American Heavyweight Wrestling Champion. The Leader of The Lightning Crew, PUERTO RICANNNNN LIGHTNNINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! JR: Puerto Rican Lightning began his OaOasT N.A. Title Reign on September 28, 2003 at the Dirty Deeds pay-per-view when he defeated K-NESS in a 30 minute Last Man Standing Match that ended with PRL and K-NESS each hitting each other in the head with chairs at the same time. PRL spent 6 months prior to that match chasing the NA Title in the N.A. Title Division on IntenseZone. He lost two consecutive pay-per-view matches to “Shooter” Jay Darring. He lost a North American Title match against Andrew “Your Hero” Hyland. He was pinned by The Blurricane thanks to Mad Cappa’s interference in a Four Corner Eliminations Match for #1 Contendership to the NA Title. Jesse: That’s right JR. PRL did indeed lose all those matches which is exactly why when he won the belt at Dirty Deeds back in September, it meant more to him than it should have. PRL gave it 100% of his self to winning that belt and it pay off finally after 6 months in that one match. When I saw PRL celebrate, crying his eyes out, inside, I cried too because I was so proud of him! JR: Puerto Rican Lightning then got a bit of a makeover. He got himself a new hairstyle, a new entrance, and added new members of the Lightning Crew. Jesse: His entrance is one of the best entrances ever in the history of professional wrestling. JR: Puerto Rican Lightning defended his belt against his long time rival “Shooter” Jay Darring on the first episode of the revamped IntenseZone on October 7, 2003, in a match that saw the OaOasT debuts of Lightning Crew members Colombian Heat and Thomas Rodriguez. Jesse: That was a great match. Both men went back and forth for about 15-20 minutes, and it was a great way to re-start IZ, and one of the best IZ matches of 2003, without a doubt. Plus, SUCKY Jay lost, and PRL finally got the 1-2-3 pinfall he always wanted, so it was also historic. JR: Sadly. Puerto Rican Lightning then got involved in a feud with The Blurricane that ended at World Without End on October 26, 2003, where Puerto Rican Lightning defeated Blurricane thanks to the OaOasT debut of Cuban Wall. Jesse: The Blurricane never stood a chance against PRL. JR: PRL then spent the next month and a half not defending the OaOasT North American Championship, just carrying it around like a trophy. Jesse: Not true. PRL defended the belt several times. 3 by my count, against some of Puerto Rico’s best. JR: Those were just people he found off the street! They were in no condition to take on Puerto Rican Lightning. And besides, they weren’t even OaOasT wrestlers under contract. So, the matches do not count. Jesse: They count because PRL not only defended the North American Title, but the Puerto Rican Championship as well. JR: A belt that isn’t even real. Jesse: Yes it is. JR: Finally, PRL was force to defend the North American Title at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten in December thanks to Stephen Joseph saying that he had violated OaOasT rules stating that a title belt must be defended at least once in a 30 day period or else the champion would be stripped of the title. Jesse: Stephen Joseph has it in for Puerto Rican Lightning ever since the Lightning Crew did a beatdown on him many moons ago. JR: He was doing the right thing, and what resulted was The Mad Cappa getting a shot against Puerto Rican Lightning at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. Unfortunately, it was a standard match, which meant that The Mad Cappa was disqualified for hitting PRL with a chair and losing a chance at becoming North American Champion. Jesse: HA! HA! Cappa was such an idiot. How could he hit PRL with a chair knowing the rules of the match! He cost himself a chance at becoming NA Champion if you ask me. JR: On that same night, the Lightning Crew Gauntlet was made and is still going on today as witnessed by Mad Cappa defeating Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez earlier tonight. Jesse: I wonder how PRL felt seeing Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez wet and in pain. JR: Probably not in a good mood, but he will get his chance to confront Mad Cappa later tonight because both of them will be in the Royal Rumble Match! Jesse: PRL deserves to be in the Rumble Match. You forgot to mention that Puerto Rican Lightning is now the longest reigning NA Champion in OaOasT history, and that he has been involved in the main event of one pay-per-view, that being Deadly Game: Unlucky 7 back in November, in which he took part in OaOasT’s first Elimination Chamber for the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship. PRL was locked in the same ring as Calvin Szechstein, “Shooter” Jay Darring, Zack Malibu, and Crystal. Something that neither The Mad Cappa nor PRL’s opponent tonight, Shuffle has managed to do yet. JR: Well Zack, Jay, Crystal, Cappa, and Shuffle are all in the Rumble Match later tonight, so they might all be locked in the same ring together. Jesse: The Shuffle will be eliminated in 5 seconds, and The Mad Cappa will be eliminated by Puerto Rican Lightning. It’s so simple. ::Puerto Rican Lightning sneers at the crowd then enters the ring. He gives his belts to Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall, then does the HBK-pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd boos PRL as he grabs his belts and poses with them on the turnbuckle. The crowd chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as PRL sneers at them. PRL poses on another turnbuckle a'la The Rock.:: Jesse: He is the champion for the future, Jim Ross. The same belt that once belonged to CWM, Stephen Joseph and “Shooter” Jay Darring now belongs to Puerto Rican Lightning, and he is now better than all of them because he has held the belt longer than those 3! HA! HA! JR: How does that necessary make him better? Jesse: Don’t question me. I’m right and you know it! The point is that the NA Championship is a PRESTIGIOUS belt. A belt that only people who are TALENTED wear. It is a belt that was MADE for Puerto Rican Lightning. Not for The SHUFFLE! NOT FOR HIM! Puerto Rican Lightning was right. Shuffle is not in his league, and he has no reason to worry. JR: PRL has been a little relax in recent weeks ever since The Shuffle won a Triple Threat Match for #1 Contendership for the OaOasT North American Title. PRL has badmouthed Shuffle. Has insulted him. And has made it well known that he does not see The Shuffle as a threat to his belt. Could this cockiness and overconfidence backfire? Jesse: It will not because The Shuffle would actually have to BE consider anything remotely resembling a threat. JR: The Shuffle is the underdog in the match, but he may win. For Shuffle has twice the heart PRL has and more motivation. Jesse: But ¼ the talent. JR: The Shuffle is wrestling what is without a doubt the most important match in his life. Win, and he is apart of history listed as a champion. Lose, and it will be another win to go in PRL’s record books. Jesse: Why are you even questioning the result? It’s quite obvious to everybody with half a brain that PRL will wipe the mat with The Shuffle. NOBODY believes that Shuffle will win. NOBODY! JR: The Shuffle has surprised PRL in the past. Remember 2 weeks ago on IntenseZone, where PRL challenged Shuffle to match with one arm tied behind his back? Shuffle got the upper hand and really surprised PRL. Jesse: He was just shock. He isn’t worry. JR: Then why do you suppose that Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua, two of the Lightning Crew’s biggest members are in the ring with him? Jesse: For moral support. That’s all. If he was actually worried, he would have PROTOTYPE out here as well, but he doesn’t. He is just with them for moral support. If Lindsay wasn’t hurt by Mad CRAPPA, she would be out here as well. ::”Know Your Role 2K3” continues playing as PRL high fives Vitamin X, and he leaves the ring. Vitamin X flips the crowd off as he leaves. PRL stays in the ring with Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall waiting for The Shuffle to come out. He bounces off the ropes and trash talks. “Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)” dies down which causes the crowd to boo loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”PRL jaws with the crowd and sneers. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall give Lightning some final words of encouragement.:: JR: I wonder why Vitamin X left. Jesse: Probably to go check on Lindsay and PROTOTYPE. But X is smart. He knows to keep his hands away from Lindsay. ::The crowd waits for Shuffle's pyro, but it doesn't come. They're still waiting, wondering.:: Jesse: Looks like Shuffle's a no-show. JR: This is very unlike the young man. He's been all heart- I can't understand why he's not coming- ::NOW Shuffle's pyro goes off. It's a big blinding flash, and Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua were looking right at it. As they're blinded, Shuffle slides out from underneath the ring and nails them both with chairshots. They're both knocked out on the floor. JR: Shuffle, as he promised, taking advantage of the fact that this is a hardcore match. He's just evened things up!! *DING DING DING* Hardcore Match For The OaOasT North American Championship: Puerto Rican Lightning (Champion with Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall) vs. The Shuffle (Challenger): PRL moves towards Shuffle, but Shuffle throws the chair at him, PRL bats it away, but it's enough to distract him while Shuffle slides under the ropes and into the ring. JR: Shuffle looking to start this match on the right foot. Both men size each other up, Shuffle makes a move towards PRL, and PRL backs off. JR: Remember, Shuffle's been wrestling with a hurt neck for the past month. The abuse he's suffered the past few weeks from the Lightning Crew can't have done him any good. Jesse: If you ask me, he's a damn fool for ever getting in the ring with somebody like PRL. Shuffle and PRL continue to play cat and mouse around the ring, finally Shuffle moves in and goes to throw a right, but PRL blocks it and sends him staggering back with a hard chop to the chest. Puerto Rican Lightning then punches Shuffle in the face, and finishes with a spit punch. PRL picks up Shuffle and slaps him in the face. JR: Oh my! What a shot of disrespect from PRL! Jesse: PRL is just treating him the way he deserves to be treated. PRL locks up Shuffle, and takes him down with a Russian Leg Sweep. Puerto Rican Lightning heads to the ropes and follows with the Harlem Shake fist drop that gets a slight pop. PRL gets up and does several shaky leg kicks to Shuffle, but Shuffle kips up and blasts PRL with a hard right hand. A hard series of rights sends PRL back into the corner or the ring. JR: I think Shuffle was playing possum, and now he's got PRL right where he wants him!! Jesse: How did Shuffle manage to kip up with his frame? That is only a move that a person with a chiseled physique like PRL can do. With PRL trapped in the corner, Shuffle uses his foot to apply a choke to PRL's neck. JR: Shuffle, again taking advantage of the fact that this is a hardcore match. He cannot get counted for choking PRL. Jesse: Doesn’t The Shuffle have any conscience? Any morals. He wouldn’t do this if he had any conscience regardless of rules. Shuffle keeps the choke on until PRL is able to get his arms up and push Shuffle's leg away. He leaves the leg up on the top rope, so Shuffle left wide open for the low blow that PRL delivers. Jesse: HA!! Guess the hardcore rules just burned your boy Shuffle this time! Shuffle rolls in pain. This gives PRL the perfect oppturnity to grab Shuffle and give him the Latin Slam. JR: THE LATIN SLAM! THE LATIN SLAM! One of PRL’s signature moves! Jesse: Cover him now, PRL! Get it over with! The crowd boos loudly as Shuffle grabs his back in pain. PRL sneers as the crowd begins chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL yells at the crowd, but they still continue booing. PRL holds his ears to drown out the noise. They still continue booing. So, he slaps his forehead 4 times and screams. JR: The Shuffle is lying on the mat still feeling the effects of that Latin Slam. Jesse: PRL doesn’t want to cover him. He wants to HURT him. That’s my kind of wrestler! PRL steps out of the ring. He grabs the chair that Shuffle used earlier. It's still dented from the blows to PRL's stable-mates. JR: This does not look good for Shuffle. Jesse: I hope he blasts that punk’s head hard. PRL heads back into the ring and is about to club Shuffle over the head with the chair, but Shuffle throws his leg out and kicks the chair back at PRL! JR: VAN DAMNIATOR! THE SHUFFLE JUST HIT PRL WITH A VAN DAMINATOR! HE MAY BE BACK IN THIS MATCHUP! Jesse: That was a desperation move. He will have to do more than that to win this match and the North American Title! PRL is able to avoid most of the blow from the chair, but it gives Shuffle time to rise. He grabs PRL and whips him into the ropes. The Shuffle goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks, and hits the Edge-O-Matic. He goes for the cover. 1… 2.. KICK OUT!!! JR: Edge-O-Matic but The Shuffle still kicks out. As Shuffle recovers, PRL holds onto the ropes. He shifts his weight to back flip over and he's standing on the apron. PRL jumps onto the top rope and hits the San Juan Jam onto The Shuffle’s body. JR: PRL going HIGH IMPACT~! Shuffle's down. PRL goes for the cover. It gets a two count. PRL slides out of the ring. He pulls a table our from under the apron and tosses into the ring. The crowd cheers, then boo and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” JR: PRL could have the match won, but his cocky side is getting the best of him. He wants to punish Shuffle in this match. Jesse: And I think we all want to see Shuffle get punished in this match. PRL wedges the table in the corner between the middle and top ropes. Shuffle is about to make his way to his feet, and PRL quickly turns and tries to deliver a spinning heel kick, but Shuffle catches his foot. He pulls PRL towards him and into an elbow. PRL staggers back and Shuffle grabs him, does a 180-degree spin and hits a release belly-to-belly suplex, throwing PRL into the table. The table doesn't break, but PRL bounces off and lands on the ground. JR: OH MY! WHAT A MOVE! THE SHUFFLE HAS JUST SENT PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING INTO A TABLE! Jesse: And the table didn’t break either. That HAS to hurt. The crowd groans when PRL hits the table. Shuffle's about to pick him up, but he sees a recovering Mr. Boricua standing on the outside, and hits a baseball slide into Mr. Boricua, sending him back to the ground again. JR: And The Shuffle once again takes care of Mr. Boricua. Shuffle moves to turn his attention back to PRL, but he's already up and sends The Shuffle through the table with a German Suplex. JR: AND THE SHUFFLE GOES THROUGH THE TABLE! THE SHUFFLE HAS GONE THROUGH THE TABLE AND PRL IS ONCE AGAIN IN CONTROL OF THIS MATCH! Jesse: How is that a surprise? PRL is the favorite heading into this match, and he is now proving to the world exactly why. Shuffle's down, and PRL makes his way up to the top rope. JR: PRL's about to go for the FU Elbow Drop! PRL sits atop the ropes, removes his left elbow pad and throws it to the crowd, does the international “UP YOURS!” symbol, rises, does a little mocking top rope B. DIDDY SHUFFLE~! And leaps off delivering the F.U. Elbow Drop to The Shuffle to a loud pop. PRL goes for the cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!!! JR: The F.U. Elbow Drop wasn’t enough to put The Shuffle down. Jesse: PRL needs to stop showboating and get down to business! Puerto Rican Lightning kicks Shuffle several times and dares him to get up. PRL gives Shuffle a neckbreaker. PRL whips Shuffle into the ropes and follows with a Samoan Drop. He goes for a cover. It gets a two count. PRL curses and then picks up Shuffle again and whips him into the ropes, following with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. PRL stops and poses for a bit causing the crowd to boo him some more. JR: PRL’s cockiness is so big it should live in its own house. Jesse: That was a terrible, Jim Ross. JR: I know. Tha Puerto Rican flips the crowd off and picks up Shuffle. Suddenly, The Shuffle hits a low blow on PRL, which gets a loud pop. JR: And now PRL getting a bit of karmic retrubtition from earlier in the match! Jesse: That is not fair! JR: Anything is fair in a Hardcore Match! Shuffle stands as PRL is on the ground in pain. Shuffle heads to the outside and pulls a table from underneath the ring and sets it up in the middle of the ring. JR: Tables again being used in this matchup for the NA Title. Shuffle goes to pick up PRL, but PRL uses a drop toehold to bring Shuffle down. He positions himself on top of Shuffle and starts to send lefts and rights into Shuffle's face. Shuffle is finally able to use his weight to throw PRL off of him and rolls out of the ring. PRL recovers quickly and attempts a top rope suicida towards Shuffle. Shuffle slides out of the way, and PRL comes crashing down. JR: PRL once again doing Shuffle's job for him. He's throwing himself around like a crazy person! Shuffle lifts PRL up, and then tosses him into the ring steps. PRL hits back first and slumps to the ground. Shuffles about to charge into PRL, when Cuban Wall comes around the corner. Shuffle turns his attention to the big man who throws a punch. Shuffle dodges, and beats on Cuban Wall. JR: The Shuffle taking care of Cuban Wall! Jesse: Do something you big guy! Shuffle whips Wall into the stairs where PRL is still lying on-crushing PRL between the steps and Cuban Wall. Shuffle charges in and nails a running kick to Cuban Wall's face, pushing PRL into the steps again. JR: Look at the INTENSITY on Shuffle's face. He's giving Cuban Wall a taste of revenge for the beating he took a few weeks ago. Shuffle moves back for another running kick. As he charges, PRL ducks and pulls Cuban Wall out of the way, and Shuffle ends up kicking the ring steps. JR: BAH GAWD. Shuffle may have just shattered his own foot!! Shuffle is still up, but limping. Puerto Rican Lightning stands, as Cuban Wall lies unconscious at his feet. He runs at Shuffle and bulldogs him down to the ground. As Shuffle lies on the ground, PRL makes his way to the ring apron... Asai Moonsault onto Shuffle. Jesse: Finally, PRL's got control of this match. The youngster just didn't have the skills to keep up. PRL pulls Shuffle up and rolls him into the ring. From there he picks Shuffle up and sets him up on the top of the turnbuckle. JR: PRL, about to go HIGH IMPACT~! PRL sends an uppercut into Shuffle, making sure he stays in place as he climbs to the ropes. He's got him set up for a superplex. PRL's got the fat man up and hits the superplex through the table that's still set up in the middle of the ring. JR: OH MY!!! OH MY!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS JUST SUPERPLEXED A 255 LB MAN THROUGH A TABLE!!! HE HAS JUST DONE SOMETHING THAT IS SURELY NOT AN EASY FEAT! Jesse: This shows how great Puerto Rican Lightning is! He has what it takes to superplex a fat man through a table. He is really the next generation of excellence. PRL slowly recovers and tosses the pieces of table out of the way, and makes the cover. 1... 2... 3... NO!!!! Shuffle JUST gets a shoulder up. JR: OH MY GAWD!! Jesse: NO!!! HUGE POP from the crowd. Shuffle still can't move, and PRL hooks the leg and covers again. 1... 2.. NO!! JR: It looks like The Shuffle maybe getting a second wind. Jesse: I wouldn’t use the words “Shuffle” and “Wind” in the same sentence if I were you. The Shuffle gets up. PRL curses at him, but cools down. PRL charges at Shuffle, but Shuffle stands and PRL runs straight into the KICK ASS BLASTA~! Puerto Rican Lightning collapses onto the mat and Shuffle covers. JR: KICK ASS BLASTA!!! KICK ASS BLASTA!!!! 1... 2... NO, PRL kicks out! JR: THA PUERTO RICAN HAS JUST KICKED OUT OF ONE OF THE SHUFFLE’S FINISHING MOVES! THAT HAS GOT TO BE WORRYING SHUFFLE RIGHT NOW! Jesse: HA! HA! HA! The Shuffle’s finishing moves are too weak for someone as strong as PRL. He is in no match for this kind of match against this kind of opponent. The Shuffle better just forfeit now. Both men roll away from each other and slowly stand. Shuffle doesn't see it, but PRL has picked up a piece of the broken table and hides it behind his back. JR: I think PRL has some sinister intentions with that piece of wood! Shuffle moves in to grapple with PRL only to have PRL blast him over the head with the table piece!! Shuffle falls down onto the seat of his pants. PRL backs off and charges in, shining wizard, and Shuffle is down. Tha Puerto Rican spits on Shuffle’s face. He heads to the outside and to the timekeeper’s table. He shoves the timekeeper off his chair, and grabs the chair. PRL shoves the cameraman out of the way, and enters the ring, chair in hand. The crowd boos loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” JR: Oh no. This is not good. This is not good for The Shuffle. This is not good at all! Jesse: The Shuffle is just getting exactly what’s coming to him. Puerto Rican Lightning dares Shuffle to get up. The crowd stands up in anticipation. Slowly, The Shuffle gets up, with PRL eying him sadistically with the chair. Finally, The Shuffle gets up, and Puerto Rican Lightning hits him over the head with the chair to a loud groan. JR: BAWD GAWD~!!! WHAT A CHAIRSHOT! Jesse: Why isn’t The Shuffle busted open? I want to see him bleeding. I want to see him suffer! I want him to feel pain and regret ever wanting to challenge Puerto Rican Lightning for the North American Championship! JR: How could you be so cruel? Jesse: Shuffle deserves it. The crowd begins booing loudly and chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Puerto Rican Lightning laughs evilly and hits Shuffle in the back just as he is struggling to get up. PRL looks at Shuffle with a psychotic face as he places the table down on the mat. JR: What’s PRL going to do now? Jesse: I’m not sure, but whatever he does, it will definitely mean more pain for The Shuffle and that is okay with me! Puerto Rican beats on Shuffle then whips him into the ropes, he gives The Shuffle a spinebuster right on the chair causing Shuffle to scream out in pain. The crowd boos. JR: What a vicious Spinebuster! Tha Puerto Rican jaws with the crowd then stands over the fallen Shuffle. The crowd boos and stands up in anticipation, as Puerto Rican gets ready to deliver the Puerto Rico Elbow. Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and then throws it down on Shuffle’s face. PRL then does some weird hand signals, and bounces off both ropes. JR: Oh no. Jesse: It is now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling NOT sports-entertainment, the Puerto Rico Elbow! Puerto Rican Lightning does the B. Diddy Shuffle~!!! To a surprise pop, then drops the Puerto Rico Elbow onto The Shuffle to a face pop. JR: The Puerto Rico Elbow! PRL has hit the Puerto Rico Elbow! The match is over. PRL goes for the cover. 1…. 2… He picks The Shuffle up causing the crowd to boo. JR: Now come on! That just ain’t right! Puerto Rican Lightning is now just toying with Shuffle. Jesse: I see nothing wrong with that. Puerto Rican Lightning picks up The Shuffle and slaps him in his face. PRL whips him into the ropes and gives Shuffle a spinning wheel kick. Lightning then heads to the second rope, and comes down with a second rope elbow onto Shuffle. Puerto Rican Lightning then picks up the chair and seats it in the middle of the ring. PRL sits on the chair and gets boos and “P.R. SUCKS!” chants. JR: Such cockiness from our North American Champion. This is just PRL at his absolute worst. Jesse: You mean his absolute best. I am enjoying this. PRL is treating Shuffle the way he deserves to be treated. Like crap. Puerto Rican Lightning beats on The Shuffle once again then gives him a Double Armed DDT. Lightning picks up Shuffle and holds him in position for a backbreaker. PRL smiles evilly as he parades Shuffle around the ring. Some garbage is thrown in his direction and of course, “P.R. SUCKS!” JR: Why is PRL doing this? Why is he torturing him? Jesse: Because he’s Puerto Rican Lightning. That’s why. Puerto Rican Lightning holds on to The Shuffle, and gives him a backbreaker through the chair causing the chair to break. The crowd and Shuffle groan loudly as Puerto Rican Lightning laughs and sports a cocky smirk. JR: PRL is now just taking his time with The Shuffle. He believes that he has this match won, so he is taking his time, slowly taking him apart. Bit by bit. Shuffle’s back must be in serious pain, and I believe it might be best if Shuffle just stop fightning. He has a heart, he has motivation, but he must stop fightning if he wants to live to see another day. Jesse: PRL is one smart man. Lightning looks at the fallen Shuffle. PRL sneers and does the “THAT’S IT!” sign to the crowd. This causes the crowd to start booing loudly once again, as Puerto Rican Lightning gets in position to deliver the P.R. Nightmare. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” but PRL ignores the chants. JR: This is it. This could be it. The Shuffle is going to endure a P.R. Nightmare. Jesse: Yes! Yes! It’s over! The Shuffle’s chance at becoming North American Champion is flushing down the toilet. It’s gonna end right now. Puerto Rican continues waiting for Shuffle to get up. The Shuffle gets up slowly, but finally he does, and Puerto Rican Lightning kicks him in the gut, and gives him the P.R. Nightmare to loud jeers. JR: THE P.R. NIGHTMARE! THE P.R. NIGHTMARE! THE SHUFFLE HAS JUST BEEN HIT WITH THE P.R. NIGHTMARE! Jesse: HA! HA! Good night Shuffle. Pleasant dreams! PRL sneers at the crowd and spits at them. He goes for the cover. 1….. 2…. Puerto Rican Lightning picks up The Shuffle causing the crowd to boo him some more. JR: What? What the? Now come on! This is not right! This is not right at all! Jesse: I guess PRL thought he was having too much fun torturing Shuffle that he decided to continue the torture. JR: This is not morally right. The match was over with the P.R. Nightmare. There is no need for the match to continue. The Shuffle has been beaten up enough. He does not need to go through this once again. Jesse: When you mess with Puerto Rican Lightning, you pay the prize. And that is exactly what Shuffle is doing. He is getting exactly what he deserves. PRL poses for the crowd. The Shuffle is in real pain, holding his back and neck. He is breathing heavily and sweating as PRL jaws with the fans. They chant “P.R. SUCKS!” in his direction, but Lightning shrugs it off. JR: PRL is continuing the match. He picked up The Shuffle stopping the pin, and now he is just intent on hurting him. It isn’t enough just to retain the belt. He wants to CRIPPLE the guy. PRL picks up Shuffle and slaps him in his head. He toys with him, yelling “COME ON! GET UP! GET UP!” PRL does the B. Diddy Shuffle once again, mocking Shuffle, and asking him to get up. The Shuffle slowly does, holding to the ropes for dear life, nearly stumbling, but getting up soon. PRL beats on him some more and kicks him in the gut. He places him in position to deliver the P.R. Nightmare, but this time Shuffle’s head would hit the chair. JR: NO! NO! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! ONE P.R. NIGHTMARE WAS ENOUGH! BUT ON ANOTHER ONE! AND ON A CHAIR AS WELL! NO! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! Jesse: The Shuffle is about to suffer a concussion, in addition to losing to Puerto Rican Lightning. I am loving every moment of this torture. This is great. The crowd boos loudly as PRL smiles evilly and prepares to deliver a second P.R. Nightmare on the down Shuffle. Suddenly, the crowd’s boos turn to cheers as The Mad Cappa runs into the ring. JR: It’s The Mad Cappa! What is he doing here? Jesse: I am wondering the exact same thing Jim Ross! What the hell is Cappa doing here? He is just injecting himself into PRL’s life once again. The Gauntlet was a few matches ago! You have no right to be out here right now! The crowd cheers loudly as PRL realizes who he is in the ring with. PRL drops Shuffle to the mat and begins trash talking with The Mad Cappa, with the crowd anxious as to what they are going to do next. JR: The Shuffle is lying on the mat, while The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning, two mortal enemies, are in the ring trash talking with each other. Jesse: PRL better watch out! The Mad Cappa is trying to take him off his game. Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa continue trash talking. The crowd becomes hot waiting for them to fight. PRL and Cappa go nose-to-nose, yelling and screaming as The Shuffle slowly gets up. The crowd starts to realize what Cappa is doing and cheer some more. PRL is completely oblivious to Shuffle getting up, and continues trash talking with Cappa. JR: PRL has no idea what is going on behind him! Jesse: Look out PRL! Look out! Behind you! Behind you! Forget The Mad Cappa! Concentrate on The Shuffle! The Shuffle is getting up! The crowd waits for the two hated rivals to explode, but instead they continue trash talking as Shuffle is now up. Cappa tells PRL to look behind him. PRL turns around and gets kick in the gut…. and is taken down with The Shuffle Bomb to a loud pop. JR: THE SHUFFLE BOMB! THE SHUFFLE BOMB! THAT IS SHUFFLE’S FINISHING MOVE! THIS IS IT! IT COULD BE ALL OVER! IT COULD BE ALL OVER! Jesse: No, not like this! The referee counts. 1… 2… 3!!! *DING DING DING* JR: YES!!! YES!!!! WE GOT A NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!!! THE SHUFFLE HAS DONE IT! THE SHUFFLE HAS WON! THE SHUFFLE’S DREAM HAS COME TRUE AND THE DREAMS OF ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN TOLD “YOU CAN’T DO IT!” Jesse: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!!! THE MAD CAPPA INTERFERED!!! THE MATCH SHOULD RESTART!!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!!! Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match…and NEW One And Only Anglesault Thread North American Heavyweight Wrestling Champion…THE SHUFFLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::”The Horror” by RJD2 begins playing. The crowd explodes, cheering loudly and chanting “SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE!” The Mad Cappa jumps up and down and leaves the ring with a smile on his face. He gives a shout out to Shuffle and watches outside the ring. Puerto Rican Lightning is in shock at what just occurred. He puts his hands on his head, and looks at Mad Cappa, who flips him off. PRL is still in shock, as he sits in the ring, watching The Shuffle get his hands raised in victory by the referee. Shuffle is handed the OaOasT North American Championship belt. He raises the NA Title to a loud pop and a huge smile on his face.:: JR: IT WAS SAID IT COULDN’T BE DONE! IT WAS SAID THAT HE WAS THE UNDERDOG! IT WAS SAID THAT THE SHUFFLE WASN’T IN PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING’S LEAGUE. IT WAS SAID THAT THE SHUFFLE HAD NO CHANCE OF BEATING PRL. BUT THE SHUFFLE HAS PROVEN PRL WRONG. HE HAS PROVEN DAN BLACK WRONG. HE HAS PROVEN THE BOYS IN THE BACK WRONG. AND HE HAS PROVEN HIMSELF AND IS NOW THE HOLDER OF INTENSEZONE’S MOST PRESTIGOUS TITLE, THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE!!! Jesse: This is not possible! This is all some bad dream! Did THE SHUFFLE just defeat PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING? DID THE SHUFFLE JUST DEFEAT PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING?!!! JR: LOOK IN THE RING AND SEE WHO IS NOW RAISING THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE! ::”The Horror” continues playing. The Shuffle is still in the ring celebrating with the fans still cheering him. He looks at the North American Championship belt and becomes a little teary eyed. The Shuffle puts the NA Title belt over his right shoulder and gets The Mad Cappa to enter the ring.:: Jesse: This is a nightmare! This is all a dream! When I wake up, PRL will still be the North American Champion! JR: THIS IS NOT A DREAM! THIS IS REAL! THE SHUFFLE HAS JUST DEFEATED PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING TO BECOME THE NEW OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION! THE NA BELT IS AWAY FROM THE CLUTCHES OF PRL! A NEW ERA HAS ARRIVED! WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!!! ::The Mad Cappa enters the ring and gives Shuffle a hug. He raises his hands in victory and gets a loud pop. Puerto Rican Lightning now realizes what is happening, and he starts yelling. He looks at Cappa with a look of rage on his face. He yells “YOU!!!” and goes after Cappa, but decides to back off. The Mad Cappa places the OaOasT North American Championship belt over the waist of The Shuffle. The Shuffle starts crying and raises his hands in victory once again with the NA Title belt around his waist.:: JR: CELEBRATE KID! YOU DESERVE IT! YOU DERSERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS YOU GET!!! Jesse: SHUFFLE WAS ABOUT TO LOSE UNTIL THE MAD CAPPA CAME IN! ONCE AGAIN, CRAPPA INTERFERES IN PRL’S LIFE AND COSTS HIM SOMETHING HE TREASURES, THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE! IT’S BAD ENOUGH THAT THE MAD CAPPA HURT LINDSAY GONZALEZ EARLIER. NOW HE TAKES AWAY THE N.A. TITLE ALSO! THE MAD CAPPA IS OBSESS WITH MAKING PRL’S LIFE A LIVING HELL! JR: I can’t believe what we just seen. The Shuffle looked like he was about to lose. But then, The Mad Cappa came in and distracted Puerto Rican Lightning long enough that it allowed The Shuffle to do the Shuffle Bomb on Puerto Rican Lightning and win the match AND the North American Championship! The Shuffle has now made his mark in OaOasT history! He has his place. His name will go down in the record books as North American Champion! What a great match with an ending that couldn’t be any better! Jesse: That son-of-a-bitch! Mad Cappa just cost Puerto Rican Lightning the North American Title! Now, some loser jobber is wearing IntenseZone’s charter belt. The most important belt on IZ! We want to make IZ look good! This is the kind of stuff that will make people want to watch HeldDown!. This is not fair! Shuffle lost until Mad Cappa helped him! The match should be restarted! Where is Stephen Joseph? Tell him to restart this match! He's done it before, he can do it again! JR: I can tell you this. I believe The Shuffle will make a great OaOasT North American Champion. He won’t hide. He won’t try to talk his way out of defending it. He will defend his belt against ACTUAL OaOasT IntenseZone talent. He will be the complete opposite of PRL’s reign. ::”The Horror” by RJD2 begins playing again. The fans give The Shuffle a standing ovation and “SHUFFLE!” chants as Cappa and The Shuffle dance a little. Cappa even does the B. Diddy Shuffle to a pop. PRL is still contemplating what happened.:: JR: THE SHUFFLE PULLED OFF THE UPSET OF THE 21st CENTURY! HE DEFEATED PRL WHEN NOBODY THOUGHT HE COULD! HE WAS THE ULTIMATE UNDERDOG AND HE IS NOW THE ULTIMATE IZ CHAMPION! Jesse: The Mad Cappa is going to pay! HE IS GOING TO PAY! HE IS GOING TO PAY FOR COSTING PRL THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE AND FOR HURTING MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ! PRL WILL NOT LET THIS EVENT GO WITHOUT SOME KIND OF CONSEQUENCE! ::The Shuffle and The Mad Cappa leave the ring. Shuffle and Cappa high five each other and walk to the entrance together. PRL is still in the ring, furious, and screaming. He begins crying, and yelling “I HATE YOU!!!”, but soon his crying gives way to anger. PRL shoots The Mad Cappa a psychotic look and screams. The Mad Cappa looks back with his own serious look. They trash talk each other, but Cappa gets the last word when The Shuffle raises the OaOasT North American Championship belt for the crowd and PRL to see. The crowd cheers loudly and the two men leave through the entrance with the crowd chanting their names.:: JR: You couldn’t ask for a better ending. The Shuffle, a rookie. Someone who has been on IntenseZone since September, and has already gained IntenseZone’s highest belt! He is on top of the pecking order. The Shuffle has accomplished one of his dreams. Can he accomplish another one later tonight when he competes in the Royal Rumble Match? Jesse: There’s going to be payback. Mark my words. PRL will not take this lost lightly. He’s going to make The Mad Cappa regret what he did tonight. He will. HE WILL!!! JR: The Lightning Crew Gauntlet is still going, but The Mad Cappa is still infecting PRL’s life. He just cost Lightning the North American Title and there’s no telling what he will try to do to Lightning when they are in the ring together in the Royal Rumble Match later tonight! ::”The Horror” by RJD2 stops playing. The crowd is silent for a few seconds, looking at Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL is standing in the ring, crying, but angry. The crowd boos the P.R. Menace, who responds in kind with a double one-finger salute. PRL breathes heavily for a few seconds as the crowd begins chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” again. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua enter the ring.:: Jesse: Look at P.R., J.R. Look at how depressed he is. Look at how sad. Don’t you feel the least bad for him? JR: I can’t feel bad for someone as evil as PRL. His cockiness finally got the best of him. He was overconfident and he paid for it in this match-up. PRL’s overconfidence finally got the best of him, and it led to his downfall in this match. PRL talked the talk, but he couldn’t walk the walk. ::Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua comfort Puerto Rican Lightning. He receives hugs from all three guys, with the crowd booing them the whole time. PRL cries a little, but soon feels better.:: Jesse: Aw, this is a sweet moment. A sweet Hallmark moment. JR: The things you say amaze me. ::Vitamin X leaves the ring and comes back with the Puerto Rican Championship. The crowd boos loudly. Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, and Cuban Wall remind PRL that he is still the Puerto Rican Champion. Once PRL remembers this, he smiles a huge smile and grabs the Puerto Rican Championship. Hugging it like he would hug a baby or a small child. He kisses the Puerto Rican Championship with the crowd booing him the whole time. Chants of “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” fill up the arena as PRL raises the Puerto Rican Championship belt.:: JR: Apparently, PRL forgot he was supposedly the Puerto Rican Champion during his reign as NA Champ. Jesse: Well, you can’t blame him. He was the NA Champ for 5 months, that’s a good 100+ days. He was busy showing off his NA Title to care a lot about his Puerto Rican Title. ::Puerto Rican Lightning puts the Puerto Rican Championship over his left shoulder. The three Lightning Crew members’ raise PRL’s hands in victory to boos. PRL thanks X, Wall, and Boricua, and the four LC members leave the ring. The crowd boos and throws garbage at them, and begins the “P.R. SUCKS!” chants again. PRL sneers as he caresses his Puerto Rican Championship like he would a baby.:: JR: Don’t tell me PRL is going to actually be DEFENDING that faux title belt now is he? Jesse: What’s wrong with that? It is HIS belt after all. A belt he won in San Juan about a year ago. JR: Do you STILL believe in that story? Jesse: It’s true. :.R. raises the Puerto Rican Championship belt one more time to boos, then he, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Vitamin X leave through the entrance.:: Jesse: PRL may have lost the North American Championship, but he can take solace in the fact that he is a two time and the current Puerto Rican Champion. And later tonight, he may just end up being a Royal Rumble winner and may end up receiving a shot against the OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion at AngleMania III. JR: It was a great match with a great ending. Maybe this match was an omen for what’s to come. Maybe this is a sign that The Mad Cappa will win the Lightning Crew Gauntlet? Maybe this is a sign that Cappa will defeat the 4 Lightning Crew members he has left and will go on to face Puerto Rican Lightning? Maybe this is an omen that Cappa or Shuffle will even win the Royal Rumble Match! Jesse: Don’t go too far, Jim Ross. Don’t show your signs of senility by saying that The Shuffle and The Mad Cappa could win the Royal Rumble. JR: It’s quite possible. We just saw The Shuffle defeat Puerto Rican Lightning and become the North American Champion. Anything is possible tonight. Jesse: Well, don’t push your luck. Lady luck was on Shuffle’s side in tonight’s match, which is the only explanation as to why he won. Because he is not as good as PRL. I doubt lady luck will want to make an appearance twice in one night. JR: Well you can never be sure. The Royal Rumble is famous for being unpredictable. You never know who will enter when, or who will side with whom. You never know what to expect so who knows who will win tonight with a title shot against the OaOasT Champion at AngleMania on the line. Jesse: Well, I predict that either PRL, Alfdogg, Dan Black, Gibralter, Damaramu, St. Andrew, The Superstar, Axel or Hoff to walk out of Anglepalooza with the OaOasT World Heavyweight Title. JR: I feel that Zack Malibu, The Mad Cappa, Crystal, Shuffle, and maybe even Teddy Weddy can pull off the win. Jesse: TEDDY WEDDY? He has less of a chance of winning than Cappa! JR: You never know. Didn’t Vince McMahon win a Royal Rumble once? Jesse: Yes, you worked for the company that presented that Rumble. And that Rumble is widely considered to be the worst rumble ever. JR: Well this year's won’t be horrible I can guarantee it! 30 Superstars. 15 from IntenseZone. 15 from HeldDown! One ring. The best 60 minutes on television, the Royal Rumble Match. The main event of Anglepalooza. It’s coming up later on tonight!

Cue: “Quiet” by The Smashing Pumpkins The crowd erupts in a deep chorus of boos as black smoke begins filling the entranceway. The smoke billows and swirls around for a few moments, concealing the challenger for the OAOAST Adrenaline Championship. Finally, white pyro fires off, scattering the smoke and the figure of DAN BLACK is revealed. And he looks intense, kids. If the look on his face is any indication, this is going to be one very harsh contest. There is, however, just the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Black starts making his way down, his black trench coat and black shades creating an even more menacing look. He slides into the ring and immediately begins shedding the jacket. He looks at a little boy sitting ringside who is reaching as if for Black’s shades. Black pulls his shades off and holds them out as if he’s going to toss them to the kid, but then laughs and drops them to the ringside area, sending the child into a fit of tears. JR Oh, what an evil, evil man. I bet if the kid had a sucker, Dan Black would have stolen it from him and kicked them out of the arena! Cue: “Sweetness” by Jimmy Eat World Are you listening? Whoa-oh! The stage explodes in pyro as the drums hit! SPIDER-POET has arrived! The arena explodes in applause and cheering as Poet begins making his way down the ramp, holding the Adrenaline belt high above his head. SP is dressed in a webbed leather bomber jacket, and his old school red tights and red and black webbed boots. He slaps high fives and does some entranceway celebrating all the way down the ramp before sliding into the ring and hitting the corner with his arms raised to a huge reaction from the crowd. SP hands the belt over to the Ref and tosses his bomber jacket to the little boy that Dan Black earlier made cry, much to the child’s delight. SP and Black immediately come face to face in the center of the ring, eyeing each other up as the ref attempts to explain the rules to them. They both nod absently and the bell ri– cue: “Imaginary” by Evanescence The crowd explodes as SP whirls around to see BLACK WIDOW~! Coming down the ramp! She’s smiling as she approaches the ring. SP turns his back on Black and leans over the top rope, no doubt asking her why she’s out there. As the two conversate, Black walks over and asks for a mic while calmly sliding a pair of brass knuckles on. SP and Widow apparently come to some kind of agreement and SP turns around to see Black with a mic raised to his lips. DAN BLACK “By the way, Poet. This match is No-Holds-Barred.” JR WHAT?! Before SP can react, Dan Black CLOCKS HIM WITH THE BRASS KNUCKS! SP is sent reeling, trying to keep his balance as blood begins pouring from his busted right eyebrow. He turns right into another vicious brass knuckled slam in relatively the same spot, causing the wound to open further. Blood pouring down his face and in his eye, and his head ringing, SP is severely disoriented. Outside the ring, Black Widow merely watches with mild concern. Poet manages to dodge another swing from Black, but Black immediately comes back with an uppercut, catching SP on the point of his chin and busting him open there as well. This one puts SP on the mat, and as he turns over to get on his hands and knees, blood begins pooling underneath him. Before SP can grab a rope and try to get his footing, Black rears back and kicks him harshly in the ribs, sending him rolling away. Poet slides outside of the ring to try and buy some time, but Black is on the offense and baseball slides right into SP’s face, sending Poet back to the ramp where he lands with a metallic thud. JR Somebody stop this! This just isn’t RIGHT! Black is pacing in the ring down, grinning as he inspects his bloodied brass knucks. Outside, SP slowly begins getting back to his feet. The camera is close enough that we can see that his eye has started to swell shut. He staggers towards the ring and pulls himself in, and pulls himself to his feet with the help of the ropes. He and Black stare at one another as SP leans against the ropes. Black mouths, “Ready to forfeit?” SP responds by raising a hand, turning it, and giving Black a, ‘Come on’ gesture. Angered, Black charges . . . SP dodges and RAMS BLACK INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! Black staggers backwards and SP quickly locks his arms around Black’s waist! GERMAN SUPLEX~! It took everything SP had, though, and Black is merely stunned. Both men try and scramble to their feet, but Black has a big lead time on SP. And he’s there with Knucks on. He just begins pounding SP’s face as SP is on his knees with them, and eventually SP just falls over. Black grins wickedly and pulls SP up to his feet. Outside, Black Widow has a chair in her hands and she yells to SP to come and get it. Black shakes his head and whips SP to the opposite ropes. As SP is forced back, Black DODGES? SP rockets towards Widow, no doubt hoping to snag the chair. THWACK! JR WHAT THE – NO! BLACK WIDOW ROCKED SP IN THE FACE WITH THE CHAIR! Poet merely falls backwards, out cold, blood pouring from a new split along his hairline. Black grins as Widow slides into the ring and he places a boot on Poet’s chest and motions for the ref to make the count. 1 2 3. JR What just happened?! I don’t – Cue: “King Of My World” by Saliva THE GOBLIN is walking down the ramp! JR OH MY GOSH, IT CAN’T BE! NO! I REFUSE TO CALL THIS! LET ME KNOW WHEN THE NEXT IZ MATCH IS . . . *JR throws down his headset and leaves* Goblin slides in the ring as Dan Black is handed the Adrenaline belt. BLACK WIDOW WRAPS HER ARMS AROUND GOBLIN AND KISSES HIM ABOVE SP’S UNCONSCIOUS BODY! The two hold hands and Goblin takes Black’s arm and raises it high as Black raises the Adrenaline Belt high in the air as SP lies bleeding on the mat in front of them. Dan Black has the Adrenaline Title. Black Widow has helped destroy the man that risked everything for her. And The Goblin has returned. AngleMania III just got a little more interesting.

GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA Ladies and Gentlemen this next match is scheduled for one fall and it is a LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH!!!! (No music plays as Robert Edwards makes his way out wearing a track suit to a chorus of boos. The fans shake their fists and spit at him as he walks the aisle accompanied by J. Arthur Edwards. Robert steps into the ring as J. Arthur joins the commentary booth.) JR I see that our favorite lawyer has joined us for commentary. J. ARTHUR Careful JR or I’ll sue you. JESSE Do it! CUE: Bullet with Butterfly Wings GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA Coming to the ring, weighing 190 pounds, from Parts Unknown, JUDAS!!!! (Judas runs to the ring and slides in before quickly trading punches with Robert.) *DING DING DING* Father gets the advantage and lays out Judas with a hard forearm. Judas goes down hard, but he gets right back up and stuns Robert with a punch before whipping him to the ropes. As Robert comes back Judas goes for a clothesline, but Robert ducks it and blasts Judas off his feet from behind with a clothesline of his own. Robert then grabs Judas by the leg and drops knees and elbows onto it. Judas screams out in pain as Robert twists his leg in ways it should not be twisted. JR He’s gonna rip that leg right off!! J. ARTHUR Is he gonna beat him with it next? JESSE Sounds like my kind of match! Robert then pulls Judas to the corner and slips to the outside. On the outside he grabs Judas’ leg and slams it into the ring post three times as Judas screams out. Robert gets a wild look in his eye and goes to rack Judas on the post, but Judas manages to shove Robert down and pull himself away from the corner. Judas then pulls himself up and limps around for a second before Robert comes back in and goes for a chop block. Judas is knocked off his feet by the move as Robert continues the attack on his legs. After stomping his leg a couple of times he places it on the bottom rope and then sits down on it twice. The third time Robert goes for the move Judas places a boot on Robert’s BUTT and sends him flying over the top rope. JESSE That was a cheap move! J. ARTHUR I suppose now he’ll go around saying he “kicked his BUTT”? JR You two are hopeless. Robert narrowly makes it to the ring apron instead of the floor and pulls himself up. With his good leg Judas lunges forward and knocks Robert to the floor. Judas is slow to get up because he aggravated the leg by lunging. Slowly Robert gets up as Judas slides out and tries to send him into the post, but Robert reverses it and slams Judas into the post. Before Judas can hit the ground Robert grabs him and sends him into the post again! This time Judas comes up bleeding from the head and Robert rolls him into the ring. JR This isn’t no disqualification! JESSE What ref would be dumb enough to call a DQ in a Loser Leaves Town Match?? Robert goes for a cover, but he only gets 2. He then picks Judas up and repeatedly drives his knee into Judas’ face to open the cut wider. When Judas falls down Robert drops a knee onto his bad leg and he screams in pain. Robert then turns him over into a Half Boston Crab and Judas struggles for the ropes. When Robert sees that he’s going for the ropes he arches back and Judas lets out a loud scream. JR This could be it and if Judas has to endure much more pain then he might not make it. JESSE What’s this? JR is actually giving up hope? J. ARTHUR He can’t take much more of this at all. Finally Judas makes it to the ropes, but Robert is slow to break the hold. Finally at the four count Robert lets go and stomps Judas’ leg a couple of times. Robert then grabs his leg to pull him up, but Judas begins kicking him in the face. Robert finally lets go and Judas pulls himself up in time to take Robert down with a clothesline, but Judas goes down again in pain. Judas rolls on the mat holding his knee while Robert recovers and does a running knee drop to Judas’ leg! Robert then pulls Judas to the outside and whips him hard into the steps so that he hits with his knees and flips over. The fans boo and throw trash as Robert goes for a Shin Breaker, but instead of dropping Judas on his knee he goes to drop him on the steps. Judas, at the last second, breaks free and slams Robert face first onto the steps. Judas limps around on his leg for a second before waiting for Robert to stand. As Robert stands Judas grabs him for a German Suplex and with all his remaining strength he hits the Dangerous Release German Suplex and then crumples to the mat in pain. JR Good Lord Robert just got flipped over and landed right on his face! JESSE But that took everything Judas has left! J. ARTHUR Geez this kid really wants it. It’s gonna end up killing him. Judas and Robert both lie on the mat as the ref begins to count. Neither man shows signs of life as the ref gets up to 5. Finally at the count of 8 Judas pulls himself up and rolls into the ring to break the count. Judas returns to the outside and limps over to Robert, but as he goes to pick him up Robert hits a low blow that the ref couldn’t see. Father then reaches under the ring and pulls out the brass knuckles that he used before and nails Judas on his bad leg. JR No dammit!!! J. ARTHUR Hmm that’s odd. Robert said he had this one in the bag earlier. JESSE I can’t even explain this man. He’s almost too crazy for my tastes…almost. Robert then tosses Judas into the ring and puts the Half Boston Crab onto Judas, but he adds a little more twist to it so that he’s twisted to the side and causing more pain. Judas looks like he’s about to tap out a few times but he doesn’t yet. JR Hang in there kid!! JESSE Give it up kid!! Judas’ hand raises, but it stays there. JR Don’t quit!!! JESSE Don’t listen to Ross!! Quit and save your ability to walk! Judas stretches for the rope, but it’s not quite within reach. He then raises his hand again like he’s about to tap. J. ARTHUR Dammit kid don’t be an idiot! JR You’re sure sounding different. What gives? J. ARTHUR Nothing gives, but even I’m starting to feel sorry for the idiot. Judas now begins trying to scoot himself to the ropes, but Robert resists. Finally Judas makes a lunge and grabs the rope to break the hold. Robert releases the hold and Judas holds his leg in pain. Robert then pulls him to his feet and punches him to the head while holding him up. Out of nowhere Judas blocks a punch and tries to hoist Robert onto his shoulders for the Akeldama. Once Judas gets him up he collapses to the mat and Robert falls on top of him for a cover. 1 2 3 No!!! Judas kicks out at the last second!! JR I almost had a heart attack!! JESSE Oh don’t die on me now Ross! Robert looks frustrated as he motions over to the announcers booth for J. Arthur to do something. J. Arthur hesitates before slowly taking his headset off. JR What the hell are you doing?? JESSE Yeah what the hell are you doing?? J. Arthur walks over to the ring and Father points at something on the floor. J. Arthur picks up the brass knuckles that were still on the ground and hands it to Robert…except at the last second he tosses it back up the aisle instead. Father looks pissed as J. Arthur flips him off and leaves. JR I knew something wasn’t right with that guy!! He just turned on Father!! JESSE Well son of a bitch!! Father continues to yell at J. Arthur when out of nowhere Judas rolls him up! 1 2 3!!! *DING DING DING* JR He did it!!!! He freakin did it!!! JESSE Well I’ll be damned! The crowd absolutely erupts as the ref raises Judas hand while he still lies on the mat. The crowd then breaks into a rousing rendition of “Nana na na hey hey hey goodbye.” Robert slides out of the ring and begins yanking at his hair while saying, “This isn’t happening!!” GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match…JUDAS!!!! Robert gets pissed and attacks GMC with his own mic, but the officials run out and pull him off. Finally they are able to pull him to the back kicking and screaming. By this time Judas has pulled himself to his feet and raises his arm in victory. JR You did it kid!! You got your redemption and sent that asshole packing!! Blurricane and the Blurri-Rangers hobble out on crutches and celebrate with Judas outside the ring as the fans cheer.

("Orange Crush" starts up, and Sly Sommers walks to the ring, wearing one of the new Totally Endorsed t-shirts, and his kneepads over a pair of jeans, with sneakers instead of his ring boots.) CABOOSE: My boy Sly's dressed for a fight, not a match, and that's what he's gonna bring! ("Make Her Say" starts up, and Scotty Static, wearing a Orlando Magic black hoodie and tear-away pants instead of his usual ring gear, runs to the ring.) MC: Scotty Static's not waiting for any ring introductions to get his hands on Sly Sommers! Static charges into the ring, and both men meet up mid-ring, exchanging rapid-fire punches to the face. Static eventually out-punches Sly, nails three more punches to the face, and whips Sly to the ropes. Static then hits a super-high back body drop. Sly pops back up, and runs into a stiff clothesline from Static. Sly pops up again, and this time, he runs into a back body drop from Scotty that sends him flying to the floor! MC: Static's wasted absolutely no time in this first-ever Total Decapitation match! Sly gets up, and Scotty launches himself over the top rope, with a pescado press. Scotty lands on top of Sly, and follows up with repeated punches to the face while on the ground. Static pulls Sly up, and whips him to the guardrail. Scotty whips Sly so hard that Sly tumbles over the top of the guardrail, and lands in a fan's front-row seat! Scotty then charges, and nails a no-touch dive over the guardrail, sending both himself and Sly flying back into a few rows of chairs! Again, Static lands on top of Sly, and throws repeated punches to Sly's face. Static then asks a fan for his chair, which he gives to Scotty. Scotty then chokes Sly on the ground with the edge of it. He lets up, but not without smashing Sly's throat with the edge of it. Static pulls Sly up by the hair, hooks his head and arm, and suplexes Sly into the walkway aisle in the audience. Static gets up, and pulls Sly up by the hair again. COACH: In about a minute, this brawl's gotten completely and totally out of control! Static forearms Sly in the face, and Sly rolls back about five feet. A fan hands Scotty a chair, which he accepts. He sees that Sly's on his knees, dazed, and hurls the chair as hard as he can at Sommers's face! The chair bounces about five feet off of Sly's skull, as Sly falls face-first, onto the cold, hard concrete. Static walks over to Sly, and stomps him in the back of the head four times, practically squashing Sly's skull between the concrete and his boot. Scotty pulls Sly to his feet again, and hiptosses Sly onto the stairway, leading both men further up into the crowd. CABOOSE: Oh no, they're leaving ground level! MC: Thus far, it's been all Scotty Static, and I believe he's even opened a small cut on Sly's forehead! Sly did get a small cut on his forehead from the thrown chair, which has created a trickle effect. Sly attempts to groggily run away from Static up the stairs, but Static quickly catches up to Sly, and starts forearming him from behind, basically knocking Sommers up the stairs. When they get three-fourths up the stairs, a fan hands Static a pen. Scotty grabs Sly's long hair from behind, pulls his head in, and stabs Sly's already-opened wound with the pen, opening it even wider! COACH: I cannot believe this! Sly Sommers has somehow angered Scotty Static enough that he's unleashed this sadistic side that we could have NEVER expected out of the usually smiley, nice, respectful young man! Scotty pulls Sly by the hair the rest of the way up the stairs. Static then signals that he's going to toss Sly back down the steps. However, as Static attempts the hiptoss to send Sly flying, Sly blocks it with a stiff headbutt. Both men stumble around for a second, before Sly basically kicks a field goal with Scotty's crotch. Sommers rubs some of the already-free-flowing blood out of his eyes, and grabs Static by the hoodie. Sly then hurls Scotty into the wall behind the top row of fans on the lower bowl, which they are located. Sly then grabs Scotty by the hair, and throws him into the corridor that leads to the main lobby area of the arena. Sly repeatedly kicks Static in the ribs to get him to roll all the way through. When they get to the lobby area, Sly pulls Static to his feet, and stands him up on a wall. Sly picks up a janitor's "Caution: Wet Floor" sign, and plasters Scotty in the skull with it. Static goes down, and Sly drags him by the feet across the lobby. CABOOSE: Sly's got the advantage back! MC: I have to admit; the early comeback from Sly after such domination from his opponent takes some heart. Sommers stops near a water fountain, drops Scotty's legs, and takes a drink. Sly keeps the water in his mouth, kneels down, forcefully opens Static's mouth, and power-spits all of the water into Scotty's mouth, choking him in the process! MC: A tactic straight out of third grade, but it works! Sly pulls Static up, and punches him in the face. Static stumbles around, holding his face, but turns around to punch Sly in the face. Both men stop walking around, and start punching each other in the face again. This time, Sly wins the battle with a knee to the mid-section unexpectedly. As a group of fans begin to fill the corridors and lobby of the building, Sly picks up Scotty over his shoulder, and carries him to the lobby concession stand area. He then slams Static down on the merchandise table, breaking about ten Zack Malibu ceramic bobblehead dolls in the process, across Scotty's back. Sly forearms Scotty in the stomach, walks to the vendor's side of the stand, and then picks up a Totally Endorsed t-shirt that was set up for display on the wall behind the table. Sly then puts it over Scotty's face, smothering him with it! CABOOSE: Yet another tactful purpose as to why you should pick up the brand-new Totally Endorsed t-shirt, with the TE logo on the front, and the members' names on the back: to attempt murdering little twatfaces like Scotty Static! Sly gives up the smothering bit after about ten seconds, and tosses the shirt to some kid wearing a Intense Zone logo shirt, and yells, "Hey, kid, HD's the place to be!" Sly then pulls a HeldDOWN~! logo bandana off of one of the racks, and attempts to shove the entire thing into Static's mouth! However, seconds later, Scotty starts to fight back with punches. Within seven-eight seconds, Static is able to get Sly off of him, and get back to his feet. Sly throws a punch, but Static gets one of his own in faster, sending Sommers flying backwards into the OAOAST tape rack. Static then wheels the entire tape rack out to the growing audience who's left the arena to watch the brawl in the concession stand, with a group of fans charging the rack, looking for free tapes! MC: Damn freeloaders! COACH: Watch, our stuff'll be all over eBay next week! I hate tape traders. CABOOSE: And they hate you too. Static keeps Sly in a sitting position on the wall where the tape rack was, walks to the other end of the stand, charges, and connects with a stiff knee to the face! Static then practically peels Sly off of the wall, and places him onto the table. Static finds a Totally Endorsed shirt, blows his nose with it, and rubs it in Sly's face! Scotty then tosses the shirt into the crowd, where some drunk guy grabs it. Static climbs onto the table himself, and pulls Sly to his feet on the table. Scotty attempts to put Sly in between his legs for a piledriver, but Sly blocks with a headbutt to the groin. Sly then gets to his feet, hooks Scotty's head, and DDT's him through the merchandise table! MC: Scotty just went through that table, with sharp-edged pieces of the broken ceramic bobbleheads around, head-first, onto concrete! CABOOSE: Concussion city! Both men lay on the concrete for a good ten seconds, before Sly sits up, and shakes himself together. Sommers pushes himself to his feet, and then drags Static about seven feet by his pants. Sly follows up by dropping his right knee super-hard onto the throat of Scotty. Sly pulls Static up, and tries to drag Static to the food stand by his hair. But, right before they get there, Static connects with two repeated stiff elbows to Sommers's stomach, and gets out of Sly's clutch. Scotty then grabs Sly's hand, and Irish whips him into the mini-resteraunt set-up of the food stand, with Sly plowing through a set-up table and two chairs. Scotty goes to pull Sly off of the ground, but, when he gets to Sly, he gets squirted in the eye with a ketchup bottle. Sly gets up as Scotty is trying to get the ketchup out of his eyes. Sommers grabs one of the plastic chairs, and breaks it over Static's back! MC: These guys are using anything that isn't nailed in! Sly then picks up Scotty, and slams him onto the counter. Sly grabs a plastic fork off of one of the tables, and stabs Static in the forehead until it re-opens his cut from HeldDOWN~! on Thursday night. Sommers then jumps to the other side of the counter, shoves the guy at the cash register into the coke machine head-first, and then puts Scotty's head in the tray of the nacho cheese machine. Sly pushes the lever down, and hot, SCOLDING nacho cheese flows all over Scotty's face, and into the cut on his forehead! COACH: My lord, isn't this outlawed? CABOOSE: Best food fight since me versus Billy Thompson in seventh grade! Sommers eventually stops, as Static's face now is covered in an almost orange-ish mix of cheese and blood. Sly then pulls Scotty off of the counter, and drags him over to the coke machine. Sly forearms Scotty in the back of the head, and puts Scotty's head underneath the Coke nossel. Sly asks Scotty, "You want something to cool off?", and then pours cold Coke directly into the cut, adding to the stinging effect! Sommers stops after about seven seconds, grabs Scotty by the hair, and tosses him over the counter, landing hard on the hard floor. Sly jumps the counter, and drags Scotty by the hair out of the food stand. MC: Not exactly your usual resteraunt experience! CABOOSE: I don't know...I usually see two rednecks fighting over who gets to do whose cousin when I take my brother's brat to McDonald's! Sly then sees the door marked "Talent Only" about one hundred feet away, which means he's close to the locker room, and victory. Sly pulls Scotty up, and drags him all the way to the door, while punching and forearming him in the back to keep him near. Sly then puts Scotty in piggy-back position, hooks Static's head, and nails the Sommer-Set! Sly takes a second to shake the cobwebs from the battle off, and then gets to his feet. Sly grabs the doorknob, but it won't turn. Sly pulls as hard as he can, and it won't open. He then pushes as hard as he can, but it still won't budge. Sly then pulls off the "Talent Only" sign off in frustration, and sees that it has something on the back. He reads it aloud: "Not a legal victory exit for the Total Decapitation match." MC: I guess they've got to take their route back down to the ring, down the aisle, and through the entrance in order to win the match! CABOOSE: What a screwjob! Sly goes to kick Scotty in the mid-section out of frustration, but Static catches Sommers's foot, and pulls Sly face-first into the wall. The camera does a brief close-up on the mark of blood that Sly's forehead left on the white wall. Static gets to his feet, and finds one of the janitor's hampers near the door. Scotty grabs a mop on it, and waits for Sly to get up. When Sly does, Static grabs the mop with both hands by the end of the handle, and breaks the mop over his head. Scotty then starts throwing all of the other stuff that the janitor has inside his hamper out like crazy, breaking almost all of it. However, Static found a hidden gem at the bottom: a near-full bottle of bleach. Scotty undoes the lid, pulls Sly up so that he's got ahold of Sommers's hair as Sly's on his knees, and pours the bleach down Sly's face! MC: That's sadistic! COACH: But you can't say that Sly hasn't driven him this far! CABOOSE: That's got to be breaking some sort of law! I mean, that bleach is not only going into Sly's mouth, but it's going directly into that open wound, which it could infect and possibly end up killing Sly! Static tosses the bottle away, and then picks up Sly. He drops Sly inside of the hamper, and starts pushing it forward. Scotty walks with it as he pushes, making sure to bang Sly into every wall he can, as they make their way past the food stand and by the merchandise stand. Scotty stops for a second to wipe his eyes out of something, and that gives Sommers the window of opportunity to make it to his feet, and punch Scotty in the face. Sly then hops out of the hamper, and grabs the trash can nearby at the concession stand. Sly picks the container, which is nearly full, up over his head, and tosses it, directly at Static's head, making a loud "BOOM!" noise as it bounces off of Scotty's skull, and onto the ground! It opens up another wound on Static, right above his right ear! Sly then pulls Static around, through the crowd of fans that has gathered to watch, to the corridor. MC: They're making their way back into the arena. Fans, beware! However, at the end of the line of fans, Sly spots a group of young pre-teen and teenage girls who are decked out in home-made Global Party Exchange gear, and are begging for this to all end at the top of their lungs. Sly then takes his belt off, and asks them, "You wanna see your fuckin' hero?" They all shriek in horror, as Sly wraps his belt around Scotty's neck, and starts strangling Static. Most of the girls literally start crying, as Sly yells at Scotty, "Die, pig vomit, die!" repeatedly. Sly then lets go of the strangle as he sees that his opponent is turning blue, and Scotty's skull bounces off of the concrete. A few of the girls try to see if Scotty's breathing, but Sly pulls Static's head away from them. Sly pulls up Static's hoodie over his back, revealing his bare skin, and then picks up his belt. Sly then whips Static like a dog, over twenty times, as he repeatedly screams at the girls, who are all now hysterically crying, "Your idol is gonna die!" Sly carves into Scotty's back with the belt buckle, adding to the small, gaping wounds that the belt lashes left. Sly laughs, and rubs some of Scotty's blood from his back onto his face, which sends the girls running back to their seats, almost insanely scared of what's happening. CABOOSE: OH MY GOD! That might have been the greatest thing I've ever seen! MC: That was sick. That was sick, goddamn it! COACH: This is a side of Sly I hope we never see out of anyone, including him, for the rest of eternity! Sly then pulls Scotty's hoodie all the way off, rubs the nacho cheese/blood off of Scotty's face, scratches his own crotch with it, and tosses it in a trash can. Sly drags Static all the way through the corridor that connects the lobby with the area of the crowd where they started. Sly hooks Scotty's head, and then hooks Scotty's arm over his own head, and signals that he's going to suplex Static down the stairs that lead up the lower bowl of the arena. Sly stalls for about seven or eight seconds just signalling for it, so when he actually goes for the move, Scotty is able to block it. Sly goes for the suplex again, and Scotty blocks again. Scotty then scores a standing switch of positions, and nails a snap suplex on Sly, sending him tumbling down the stairs! However, halfway down, Sly grabs onto the chair of a fan's, which is cemented into the ground, so he doesn't fall any further. Static asks for a weapon, and a fan hands him a professional-looking camera. Static takes it, runs down the stairs, grabs Sly by the hair, and bashes him in the head with the camera four times, totally destroying the camera, and sending Sly tumbling the rest of the way down, landing hard on the concrete floor! MC: Is it just me, or did Sly's tumble basically represent how this whole match has gone? Wild, bumpy, and painful! COACH: I agree, and damn, that was a bad fall! CABOOSE: After that camera shot, all I have to say is, I hate paparazzi! Static runs back up the steps, while Sly's down. Scotty quickly comes back from apparantly a janitor's closet (it was out of camera view), and he has a ladder! Static then lays the ladder down on the steps, and slides it down. It get to the bottom right as Sly gets to his feet, and connects with his shins, knocking him down, flat on his face, on the ladder. Static runs down the steps quickly. When he gets to the bottom, he climbs on top of the glass barrier that goes up to the sitting fans in the front row's knees, and attempts a legdrop. However, Sly rolls over, and Scotty drops the leg onto the metal ladder. Sly pulls himself up, and sits Scotty up. Sly then rips his own shirt off, and tries choking Static to death with it. But, Scotty gets out of the situation by kicking backward, nailing Sly in the face three times, and getting away from the choke. Both men then just stumble around, as Sly walks back to get the ladder. Sommers then nails Scotty with the end of the ladder, and sets it up near the fourth row. MC: Oh no, this doesn't look good. CABOOSE: No, it looks great! Sly starts to climb the ladder, but Static grabs the legs of the ladder near him. Sommers tries kicking downward as Static pulls himself up with the ladder. But, Static grabs Sly's leg. Static then climbs up a few rungs, and gets Sly in a fireman's carry position. Static then sits down on the top of the ladder....and nails a Finley roll senton from about six feet up, onto the concrete! MC: What the hell? COACH: All I can say is....ouch. Static takes some time to re-group, and then gets back up. Scotty folds the ladder up, and tosses it over the guardrail, to ringside. It's now tilted, leaning on the guardrail. Static pulls Sly up, and tries to Irish whip him, so his face meets the edge of the ladder. However, Sly somehow is able to reverse the whip into a toss(and fly into someone's lap in the second row when he does so, and sends Static flying over the guardrail, laying on the slanted ladder. Sly climbs over the guardrail, and forearms Scotty in the face. Sly then goes to the apron. He runs, jumps to the second turnbuckle, and nails a tremendous corkscrew senton, sending himself and Scotty through the ladder! MC: That's the second time a little over a month that Sly Sommers has been involved in breaking a damn metal ladder! COACH: Insanity personified! Sly takes about ten seconds to shake the cobwebs off. He pulls himself up, using the guardrail, and picks Static up by the hair, He then tosses Scotty into the ring, and goes under the ring himself. Sly pulls out a stack of six tables. Sly then waves his hand like he's asking for someone to come from backstage. All of a sudden, Colvid, Sly's Totally Endorsed partner-in-crime, comes out, with a giant hamper filled with various weapons of misfortune. Colvid slides into the ring as soon as he gets to ringside, but Sly yells at him to not attack Static, and help him set up the tables. They drag the tables to the ramp, and make three sets of double-stacked tables. However, by the time they're done, Static has had enough time to get up, and perch himself on the top rope. Colvid and Sly turn around, and Static launches off with a plancha onto both of them! MC: With one blow, Static's taken out two-thirds of Totally Endorsed! CABOOSE: They're down, but sure as hell aren't out! Scotty straddles Sly, and throws repeated, furious punches to Sly's forehead, widening his cut from earlier. But, Colvid gets up and pulls Scotty off. Colvid then holds Static's arms behind his back, as he awaits Sly getting up. When Sommers gets to his feet, he yells at Colvid to let go of Scotty and go back to the dressing room, since it's "my fight to fight, not yours", to quote Sly, as Scotty starts searching into the hamper. Colvid reluctantly agrees, and heads to the back. Sly turns around to continue the fight, but gets met with Scotty breaking a wooden board over his skull. The camera catches Scotty mouth, "Fuck you", as he then pulls Sly up, and lies him on top of the lower set of tables. Scotty then enters the ring, runs to the other side, comes off of the ropes, and nails a tope suicida; through the ropes and through Sly and the tables! MC: That was amazing! COACH: One hell of a display of not only agility, but body control as well. CABOOSE: Since when did we let jet-propelled robots wrestle here? Scotty gets himself standing, out of the table wreckage he made, and goes back to the box of goodies. Scotty finds three rolls of barbed wire, and tosses them behind him. Static then finds more boards, and tosses them down. Static then wraps the barbed wire around three of the boards, and sets them up beside each other, before he turns around to go get Sommers. Static attempts to pull Sly up, but Sly pulls what looks to be thumbtacks out of his pockets, and throws them in Scotty's face. Scotty goes down, holding his eyes. MC: He just threw thumbtacks in the man's eyes! CABOOSE: Relax. If they get stuck, he'll just go blind. That's all! Sly then pulls out a box from under the ring. Sly sets up one of the tables that didn't get broken, and sets it up on his own. Sly picks up the box, and pours what looks like thousands of thumbtacks on and around the table, completely covering it. Static runs at Sly, but then gets backdropped through the table, and on all of the thumbtacks for his troubles! CABOOSE: Static's got so many tacks in his skin now, we might as well call him the Tinman! MC: That was sick! COACH: This place has turned into a warzone! Sly pulls Static out of the mess, and slams him yet again on the thumbtacks, this time screaming, "How's that, you shit?" after doing so. Sommers goes under the ring again, and pulls out a huge ladder, looking to be about ten-eleven feet tall. Sly tosses the barbed wire boards almost the entire length of the aisleway, and carries the ladder down there. Static gets up, and starts chasing him down the rampway. However, Sly turns around and swings the ladder, making a sickening "THWACK!" sound when it connects with Static's head, which is basically all crimson from all the blood he's bled in this match. MC: OUCH! Sly then drops the ladder, and drags Static by the feet, bare-backed, over the barbed wire boards, as he leaves streaks of red behind him. Sly then finds a set of tables set up on their sides, leaning on the side barricade, facing the entrance set, and sets one up. Sly follows up by setting up the super-tall ladder. Sommers then lays the three barbed wire boards, side-by-side, on top of the table. Sly pulls Static up by the hair, and pulls Scotty behind him while climbing the ladder. However, Scotty punches Sly in the balls, which stops all of his momentum. Scotty turns around, and gets Sly in powerbomb position, from two rungs up. Scotty launches himself off......Flying sitdown powerbomb, off the ladder, through the barbed wire boards and table! CABOOSE: Holy crap! MC: That's insane! COACH: To say neither man had a pleasant landing there would be an understatement. After just laying there as the entire place chants "Sco-tty! Sco-tty!" for nearly twenty seconds, both men struggle to get to their knees. They stop at their knees, look at each other with hatred in their eyes, and go back to square one: throwing punches back-and-forth. They continue to punch each other again and again, in the face, as they slowly make it to their feet. Both men are now so weakened that each punch sends them stumbling backwards, but they still hate each other enough to continue with the punching. After literally a minute of the punching, Sommers takes the low road and throws a low jab, nailing Static in the groin. MC: Sommers, AGAIN, going to the lower region for an advantage.... CABOOSE: To Sly's defense, this match has no rules, and he hates Scotty so much that he'll do anything to beat him. Sommers then throws Scotty face-first into the entrance set out of desperation. Sly whistles, and calls someone or something in from the side of the arena. All of a sudden, we see a couple of crew members wheel in a platform covered with implements of destruction. Set up on this large platform are: two tables, one glass side-by-side; with another table on top of that was basically just ten lighttubes wrapped together with barbed wire, and set up on two chairs; sheets of glass creating a make-shift fence so that the thumbtacks filling the bottom of the platform don't go flying out; and, for some reason, a fishtank underneath the wooden table. COACH: If someone goes flying through that thing, it could signal DEATH! Sly then re-positions the ladder, and starts to climb. Sly gets to the top, but Static is standing on his feet on the ground. Static then pulls a piece of the sheet glass, which is about two feet going each direction, out of the platform, and throws it upwards. It shatters on impact with Sly's head, who starts bleeding from yet another gap in his head, and is encompassitated on top of the ladder. Static then climbs the side nearest to the contraption, and gets to the top. Static hooks Sly's head, and puts it underneath his arm. Static then takes the final step, and is on the top rung. Static hooks Sly's arm over his head, and...................SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP OF THE ELEVEN-FOOT LADDER, THROUGH THE GLASS, WOOD, TACKS, AND OTHER ITEMS OF DEATH!!!!! MC: OH MY...... CABOOSE: I'll say it since you won't: OH MY FUCKING GOD! OH MY FUCKING LORD! COACH: They're dead! The cameraman on the floor gets a close-up of the destruction, and both men are cut all over their upper bodies, with Sly even coughing up blood. The production crew puts on six different replays of the bump, all from different angles. The entire crowd's erupted in a "Holy Shit" chant, and neither man's moved in over forty seconds. MC: I know this thing wasn't supposed to have any referees, but we might wanna get someone out here to see if they're even alive! Over a minute after the insane superplex, Static finally shows some signs of life, and starts climbing towards the entrance, to exit the arena and win the match. Static gets to the carpeted aisleway, when Sommers somehow, some-freaking-way, gets the energy to hop up from the abyss of danger, and chase him while crawling. Both men end up crossing paths RIGHT at the exit. They throw punches at each other while on their stomaches, before Static gets a forearm for the upper-hand. Scotty then sees that Sommers has a roll of barbed wire stuck to his jeans, and pulls it out. Scotty then disgustingly wraps the roll around Sly's head, leaving a strand at both ends, hanging off, to pull on. Scotty then gets on top of Sly, and locks in a camel clutch with the barbed wire! MC: This is, by far, one of the most brutal submission locks I've ever seen! CABOOSE: Submission? He's trying to literally kill the man! COACH: This match is called "Total Decapitation", after all! Static has the move locked in for over thirty seconds, with Sly screaming at the top of his lungs and blood dripping from seven different places in Sly's head. Then, Sly can't take the pain anymore, and passes out. Static, with his last burst of energy, leaps forward, exiting the arena, and winning the match!! MC: There you have it! Scotty Static has somehow won this incredibly violent spectacle of a war! CABOOSE: That was intense. That was brutal. That was sick. That was what happens when two men get driven far enough to want to kill each other in the confines of a wrestling match, and almost do so! COACH: That was just mind-blowing. These two have raised the level of violence in this company, and I'm sure not many are jumping to beat it anytime soon! (Camera cuts to backstage, where Static is laying on his stomach, almost unconcious from the pain he's in. His partner in the Global Party Exchange, Johnny Jackson, and the HD senior official come running to Static, with the referee raising his hand.) JACKSON: Congrats, man. That was one hell of a battle. You totally deserved the win! STATIC: (faintly) Thanks. Could you do me a favor? JACKSON: Anything, man. STATIC: Get me some help. (Jackson asks the referee to get his friend some medical assistance, and the referee runs off to get some....) (Cut back to the arena, where a group of paramedics are packing Sly Sommers on a stretcher) MC: Folks, the stuff that these two put each other through tonight, I don't think, will be forgotten for a long time to come. These two men battled through thick-and-think for over twenty minutes, throughout this entire building, with anything they could get their hands on, because their hatred of each other drove each other to it. COACH: Exactly. My props go out to Scotty Static for winning this war, and Sly Sommers for participating. Here's to hoping he isn't seriously injured. CABOOSE: Yeah, in all seriousness, I gained a new respect for both guys tonight, and that was really damn brutal. (The entire building, including Caboose, Michael Cole, and Jonathan Coachman, all rise to applaud and recognize the amount that both Sly and Scotty put into this battle.) MC: That was well-deserved.

Cole: Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s now time to decide the X Division Championship, and what a match this will be. Caboose: I really think Mad Matt can win his second X Title tonight Cole, he is certainly ready. Coach: But after Matt’s attack last Thursday night, you gotta believe that AJ Flaire is fired up. Cole: To win you must make your opponent say ‘I Quit’. Cue: ‘Higher’ by Creed Mad Matt appears at the entrance way, to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He slides into the ring and ascends the turnbuckles, and makes a belt sign around his waist, as if to say that he was going to win the X Title tonight at Anglepalooza. ANNOUNCER: The Following contest is an I Quit match, and it is for the OAOAST X Division Championship of the World! Introducing first, he is the challenger, from Peoria, Illinois, weighing in tonight at two-hundred and five pounds, MAD MATTTTTTTTT!!!! Cole: The crowd seems to be booing Mad Matt tonight, and I can’t say that I blame them, after his actions this past week on HeldDown! Caboose: Knock it off Cole, Matt was just getting an advantage for the match, he wants the X Championship. Coach: He gave AJ Flaire the Pieora Plunge on a steel chair, busting him open! Matt should have thanked the Champion, AJ had just won Matt a title shot! Caboose: Like I said, just trying to get an advantage, but knowing AJ Flaire like Matt does, he’ll probably have a trick up his sleeve to screw Matt out of the title again. Cole: What the hell are you talking about? It’s all in Matt’s head! Cue: ‘Man in the Box’ by Alice in Chains Tommy Dreamers old ECW theme blares over the loud speakers. When that unmistakable voice kicks in, AJ Flaire makes his way out, wearing his the new AJ Flaire T-Shirt (available at oaoastshop.com), with that X Championship Belt around his waist, shining under the lights. ANNOUNCER: And Mad Matt’s opponent, currently residing in Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds, he is the reigning, and defending, OAOAST X Division Champion of the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRLLLLLLLDDDDDD, Ladies and Gentleman, THIS-IS A. J. FLAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEE!!! Cole: Quite the introduction there. Caboose: How come Mad Matt didn’t get that kind of intro? Coach: Because he isn’t the Champion, you twit. AJ Flaire steps into the ring and immediately walks up to Mad Matt, face to face with his challenger. Both men talk trash to the other with the referee trying to get between them. Cole: Neither man is backing down, both know what is at stake here tonight, at Anglepalooza. Coach: Not only that X Championship, but pride as well Michael, to win this match, you have to get your opponent to say the words ‘I Quit’. Caboose: That’s why Matt is going to win here; he’s not going to say I Quit tonight. Cole: AJ last week on HeldDown said he was going to ‘beat the madness out of’ Mad Matt’ here tonight. The referee finally gets between Matt and AJ, and he holds his hands out for AJ to give him the X Title belt. AJ slowly takes the belt off, all the while looking straight at Mad Matt. AJ puts his and over his heart and then places it in the centre of the X Belt, before relinquishing it to the referee. Coach: I had the opportunity to talk to AJ Flaire earlier today, and he told me that the X Championship is the culmination of five years of hard work. That belt is the most important thing he has right now. Caboose: That’s only because he can’t get a lay. AJ steps back and takes off his T-Shirt to a small pop from the ladies. He and Matt circle the ring, before meeting in the centre, face to face, again. They both do a bit of trash-talking, and then Matt slaps AJ hard, right in the face! Caboose; Wow! Go Matt! AJ turns his head, and develops a wry smile on his face. AJ turns back to Matt and decks him with a right hand! Matt gets straight back up, and the two men exchange hard right hands. AJ gets the advantage, Matt backs up to the ropes, AJ runs at Matt and clotheslines him over the top rope to a great pop from the crowd! Cole: Fellas, you won’t see AJ Flaire using a closed fist very often. He’s a great wrestler, and he likes to stick to the rules. But because of the violent nature of this matchup, he isn’t holding anything back here tonight. AJ rolls out of the ring and grabs Mad Mat by the hair. Irish whip by AJ Flaire that sends Matt crashing into the steel steps! Coach: What impact on those steel steps, shoulder first went Mad Matt! Matt clutches his shoulder as AJ Flaire rolls him into the ring. Mad Matt gets to his feet and backs into the corner, and AJ follows him. AJ lands a hard chop to the chest of Mad Matt, and the crowd responds with a resounding ‘WHOO’. AJ lands another three chops to the now red-beet chest of Mad Matt, and brings him out of the corner. AJ hooks Matts left arm behind him, and gives Matt a scoop slam, with Matt landing on his arm. Cole; Sound strategy here by AJ Flaire, work on that arm, apply a submission hold that Matt can’t get out of, and it will force Matt to say the words “I Quit”. AJ picks Matt up and applies a front face lock. Matt lands right hands to the midsection of AJ Flaire, and runs to the ropes to gain momentum. But Matt meets AJ with an armdrag, and applies a standing armbar. Matt clutches at his shoulder, and then finds the strength to get to his feet, where AJ changes the hold into a hammerlock. Matt escapes, AJ goes for a clothesline, Matt ducks and runs t the ropes, but Matt is met by another armdrag and standing armbar. Caboose: No fair! AJ just keeps picking on Matt’s arm! Matt again fights out of it and runs to the ropes. Matt goes for a clothesline, AJ ducks, boot to the midsection by AJ, picks Matt up over his shoulder, and plants him with a shoulderbreaker. Cole: Great move by AJ, Matt’s arm has to be stinging right now. AJ grabs Matt by the hair and goes to pick him up again, but Matt hits a low blow! Caboose: There’s a good old difference maker there by Matt. Matt tries to shake the sting out of his arm as AJ makes his way to his feet. Hard right hands by Mad Matt on AJ, AJ goes for a clothesline but Matt ducks and kicks AJ hard, right on the spine! Cole: Stiff kick there by Mad Matt! Remember guys, AJ never had the time off that he really needed to heal that back of his! Matt is going for AJ’s back now! AJ gets up again, but Matt sends him over with a snapmare, and then lands another hard kick to the spine. Matt picks AJ up, gets him in a front face lock, and sends him over for a vertical suplex, with AJ landing hard on his back. Matt picks AJ up and sends him for an Irish whip. AJ reverses, and lands another armdrag on Matt, holding on for the armbar. AJ picks Matt up and hooks his arm behind him. AJ drops Matt right on his back with a belly to back suplex, with Matt again landing on his left arm. Matt gets up clutching his left arm, trying to shake the sting out, and meanwhile AJ Flaire is going to the top rope. Cole: High risk here for AJ! Coach: I don’t think this is a good move guys! AJ launches off the top rope and tries for a spinning heel kick, but Matt moves and AJ lands hard on his back! Matt shoves AJ over to the corner backwards, and starts kicking him repeatedly in the back! AJ goes down to his stomach, so Matt boots AJ in the back some more! Cole: AJ’s back is taking one hell of a beating tonight! AJ slowly gets to his feet, then Matt picks him up and gives him a backbreaker! Caboose: AJ’s going to have to quit soon, unless he wants his career ended tonight. Matt looks at AJ, and then gets a sick smile on his face. Matt rolls to the outside, near the timekeeper’s table. Cole: What the hell is Mad Matt doing here? Matt shoves the timekeeper out of the way, and grabs the steel chair that he was sitting on. Matt throws the steel chair in the ring, long with a microphone. Caboose: He’s winning, that’s what he’s doing! Matt unfolds the chair in the centre of the ring. He points at AJ, and then at the chair. Cole: Oh no… he isn’t… Mad Matt picks AJ up for a backbreaker again, but this time he sends AJ’s back crashing down onto the chair! AJ clutches his back and shouts in pain! Coach: Oh my god! Enough is enough, AJ, just quit! Matt grabs the microphone and walks over to AJ. He speaks slowly, and a little out of breath. Matt: AJ, give me what I deserve, your back is killing you, and you can’t go on. Say it. SAY IT! Matt puts the microphone up to AJ’s mouth. AJ replies… AJ: Go to hell, Matt! Matt tosses the microphone away and grabs the steel chair again, he fold it up, and waits for AJ. AJ makes it to his feet, but he is hunched over, hands trying to push him upright. Matt holds the chair high above his head, and he brings it down… CRASH, right into AJ’s back! AJ goes down to hands and knees, and Matt brings the chair down once again, with another crash echoing throughout the arena. AJ almost screaming in pain right now. Cole: This is a sickening attack by Mad Matt! I’m begging you AJ, just quit! Mad Matt grabs the microphone once again. He speaks: Matt: Just quit AJ, these people want to see you wrestle again after tonight! He holds the microphone up to AJ’s mouth again. AJ: I’m not quitting Matt. I. Won’t. Quit. Matt starts to get frustrated, as he brings the microphone down over AJ’s skull. AJ stumbles to his feet with the use of the ropes. Matt grabs the chair and measures AJ. AJ turns around, and Matt brings the chair right into AJ’s face, eliciting a big ‘oooooooohhhh’ from the crowd. Matt looks at AJ, and then rolls back to the outside. Cole: What more can be done to the X Champion? Matt answers Michael Cole’s question, as he pulls out a table and throws it into the ring! Matt sets up the table near the corner, and places AJ’s now lifeless body on top of it. Cole: What’s Matt going to attempt to do? Coach: I don’t know Cole, but whatever it is, it could spell the end of AJ Flaire. Matt ascends the turnbuckles, as if he was going for a moonsault. Matt looks at the crowd, who is booing him, and proceeds to taunt them straight back. Cole: I wouldn’t take too much time up there Matt… Coach: Look whose recovering! AJ Flaire rolls off the table and runs up the turnbuckles, hooking Matt from behind, and then sending him over AJ’s head, crashing through the table! Cole: OH MY GOD! German Suplex from the top, through the table! Coach: If anything will turn the tide of this match, that will! AJ gets up a little quicker this time, blood now gushing from his forehead. He looks around at the crowd, and then at Matt, and shouts at the crowd, as if to get an adrenaline rush! Matt then gets up, and runs at AJ, who decks him with a right hand. Matt runs at AJ once again, but gets knocked down by a knife edged chop this time! Matt gets up again, and AJ connects to the head of Matt with a series of right hands! Coach: Matt’s on dream street! Matt backs up against the ropes, and AJ runs at him, and hits a clothesline that sends Matt over the top rope again! Cole: Clothesline, but wait a minute! Caboose: Oh no! Coach: Matt’s arm is caught between the top and middle ropes, and he can’t get it out! AJ looks at Matt, his arm tangled in between the middle and top ropes, and smiles a smile just like that of Matt earlier in the match. AJ grabs the steel chair that Matt used, and goes over to Matt, taunting him! Cole: It’s payback time for the Champion! AJ Measures Matt, and brings the steel chair down right over Matts arm and shoulder! Matt screams in pain, and clutches at his arm. AJ brings the chair once again, and again smashes it over Matt’s arm and shoulder! Caboose: He can’t do that! He could break Matt’s arm! Coach: AJ Flaire doesn’t care, especially after what Matt has done to him in this match! The referee finally gets Matt’s arm out of the ropes, and Matt falls to the floor outside the ring, all the while clutching his left arm. Matt rolls into the ring, and AJ is there to meet him. Matt backs up against the corner, and AJ starts laying into him with hard kicks and chops, each chop getting another loud ‘WHOO’ from the massive crowd. AJ grabs Matt and takes him away from the ropes. Boot to the midsection by AJ Flaire, and then a hard DDT. Cole: What’s AJ got planned? AJ grabs the microphone from over near the corner. He starts to speak… AJ: Matt, you are done. Just quit. AJ gives the microphone to the referee and tells him to hold it to Matt’s lips. AJ grabs Matt’s now injured arm and applies a Fujiwar armbar! Matt is screaming in intense pain! Coach: He’s gotta quit here guys! His arm could be broken! The referee brings the microphone to Matts lips, Matt shouts a loud ‘NO’ right into the microphone! AJ looks at the crowd and says ‘More?’ The crowd responds with a great cheer. AJ takes Matt’s arm and wrenches it right back, almost to the point of dislocating Matt’s shoulder! Cole: My God! His arm is damn near horizontal to his shoulder! Again, the referee puts the microphone to Matt’s mouth, and again he responds with a resounding ‘NO!’ AJ releases the Fujiwar, and grabs the steel chair yet again! AJ hooks Matt’s arm inside the steel chair, and lays it on the ground! Cole: oh no, this could shatter Matt’s arm! AJ goes up to the second rope and looks at the chair. AJ flies off the top rope with a knee drop, landing on the chair, and simultaneously crushing Matt’s arm inside! Caboose: Holy shit! Matt’s gotta give up now! AJ asks Matt again if he quits, but Matt just screams No again! AJ picks Matt up, and signals for That’s Phenomenal on the chair! AJ puts Matt between his legs, and tries to lift him up… But Matt hits a low blow! Caboose: The equaliser yet again by Mad Matt! Boot to the midsection by Mad Matt, puts AJ between his legs, lifts him up, hooks the arms… And hits the Pieora Plunge on the chair! Cole: PIEORA PLUNGE ON THE CHAIR! EXACTLY what Matt did this past Thursday! Blood is now gushing heavily from the slice in AJ’s head. Matt grabs him by the hair, gets a head of steam, and throws him to the outside! Matt rolls to the outside, all the while keeping his left arm close to his body. Cole: Man that arm must be really hurt, and I must comment on the resiliency of Mad Matt tonight! Matt goes over to the Spanish Announce table and starts destroying it. He throws off the top cover, and the monitors and the microphones! Cole: Those poor Spanish announcers! Matt picks AJ up and kicks him square in the nuts again. Matt then rolls AJ onto the Announce table, and then climbs up on the table himself. Caboose: Whatever Matt’s got planned, I like it already! Matt picks AJ up and hooks his head backwards, before taunting the sell-out crowd, who respond with heavy boos and a small ‘A-J’ chant. Matt grabs AJ’s tights, lifts him high into the air, and slams him down, and through the announce table! Cole: SHADOW OF MADNESS THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! AJ IS DONE!!! Matt pauses for a second and gets to his feet slowly. He looks at AJ Flaire lying prone on the ground. Matt grabs another microphone from the outside, and addresses AJ again. He is almost smiling! Matt: Flaire, give it up and give me the X Championship. Matt shoves the microphone in AJ’s face again. AJ: Fuck… you… Matt’s face turns from almost happy to angry. He connects to AJ’s head with a stiff boot. Cole: AJ won’t give up! Matt can’t win if AJ won’t give up! Matt rolls AJ into the ring and gets up on the apron. AJ gets to his knees, and then gets to his feet, but is still hunched over. Matt uses the top rope to Springboard over and hits a Somersault Rocker Dropper! Cole: What a move by Mad Matt! Matt goes up the top rope again, and this time hits a Split Legged Moonsault! Matt looks at the crowd, and signals for the end! Matt picks AJ up and hooks his head from behind, setting up for the Shadow of Madness! Caboose: If he hits this, AJ’s spine could be done for! He would have to give up! Matt lifts AJ up, but AJ uses his body weight to propel himself over and behind Mad Matt! Matt turns around, boot to the midsection by AJ, puts Matt between his legs, AJ lifts Matt up for a piledriver, cradles one leg, and drops him down for That’s Phenomenal! Cole: That’s Phenomenal Piledriver by AJ Flaire! What’s next? AJ grabs the microphone and speaks. He sounds very out of breath and hurting badly. AJ: That’s enough Matt, you’re quitting now… or I’ll make you pass out from the goddamn pain. AJ gives the microphone to the referee and applies a Fujiwar armbar yet again! Caboose: Conspiracy! Coach: Bullshit Caboose, AJ’s done nothing wrong at all! The referee puts the microphone to Matt’s mouth… Matt: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! NO, I WON’T QUIT! AHHHHHHHHHH Cole: Matt’s not quitting! He must be in tremendous pain! AJ adjusts the Fujiwar and grabs Matt’s other arm as well in a doule armbar type move, and then he jumps over to lock in a Cattle Mutilation! Cole: Cattle Mutilation! This submission hold is one of the most painful in the world, and what's worse, you can’t get out if it! AJ locks in the Cattle Mutilation, and the referee puts the microphone up to Matts mouth again, while he is screaming in pain! Matt: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, NO! NOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHH! AJ keeps the hold locked in, as Matt continues to scream in intense pain! Matt: AHHHHHHHHHH! OK, OK! I QUIT!!! Cole: HE SAID IT! *DING DING DING!* Cue: ‘Man in the Box’ by Alice in Chains ANNOUNCER: Here is your winner, and STILL OAOAST X DIVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLDD, A. J. FLAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEE!! AJ releases the submission hold and stumbles to his feet, holding his back in pain. The referee grabs the X Division belt from ringside, and gives it to AJ. AJ holds it high in the air, before stumbling over and holding onto the ropes. Coach: He can hardly stand! Both of these men deserve credit for what they did here tonight. They took every chance, payed every price, but it was the Champion, AJ Flaire, who came out of Anglepalooza with that belt still firmly around his waist. AJ rolls out of the ring a bloody mess, and the referee follows him. AJ stumbles up the ramp, almost unable to stand. The referee tries to help him, but AJ pushes him away, saying that he wants to leave of his own accord. The arena is suddenly filled with an ‘A-J’ chant, as AJ Flaire stops at the top of the ramp and kisses his X Division Championship, before holding it up for the whole world to see. Caboose: Credit where credit is due guys, AJ Flaire showed us all something tonight, he fought through tremendous pain in his back, and he made Mad Matt say ‘I Quit’, which is something only few can do. AJ Flaire holds the belt up to the crowd as if to thank them, and then heads to the back for urgent medical attention. Cole: One thing for sure, it will take both men quite a while to get over this matchup.

JR: Fans, coming up next is Part 4 of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, and what is most certainly the most interesting match The Mad Cappa has had so far. It’s an Intergender Match, as The Mad Cappa will take on Puerto Rican Lightning’s own girlfriend, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez in a one-on-one matchup. ::The Lightning Crew Gauntlet logo appears onscreen. The Lightning Crew logo flashes across the screen and stops on top of the screen while underneath it, in big, white, blocky letters appears the word GAUNTLET. Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez, PROTOTYPE: The Perfect Lightning Crew Member, and Cuban Wall all appear underneath the logo posing. There are red X’s covering Fly, Boricua, and Thomas Rodriguez. The three of them all also the only members of the LC who appear in black and white. “Freedom” by Rage Against The Machine begins playing and takes us to the Anglepalooza Match-Up Graphic for The Mad Cappa vs. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. The crowd pops loudly and chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!”:: Jesse: The Mad Cappa is a fool for thinking that he can move on in the Gauntlet. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is smarter than people give her credit for. She isn’t some ditzy blonde; she is a sly, intelligent Latina, who will use her womanly charms to distract Cappa and win this match ending the Gauntlet. Lindsay is doing this match for her man! Her “boo” as the kids would say. JR: Well, I highly doubt that, Jes. The Mad Cappa has come a long way from the inexperience rookie he was nearly a year ago. He has learned from his past mistakes, and will be smarter this time around when he and Lindsay will be in the same ring, together. Jesse: Normally a man would be glad to be close to Lindsay’s “Special Areas” but Cappa must avoid temptation and he must make sure that his match doesn’t end with Lindsay’s breasts over Cappa’s face. He must make sure that Lindsay does NOT lie on top of him at anytime during this matchup. JR: The Mad Cappa has so far, successfully defeated 3 Lightning Crew members so far. Let’s take a quick recap of Cappa’s previous Lightning Crew Gauntlet matches. ::The Anglepalooza logo flashes on the screen. Clips from The Mad Cappa/Spanish Fly match from OaOasT IntenseZone on December 31, 2003 appear. A caption reading “OAOAST INTENSEZONE. 4 WEEKS AGO” appears on screen. The clips end with The Mad Cappa raising his hands in victory.:: JR: The Lightning Crew Gauntlet was laid down by Puerto Rican Lightning at OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten on December 29, 2003. Right after his match against Cappa, a Lightning Crew beatdown resulted with PRL proclaiming that he had a sign a contract with OaOasT IntenseZone General Manager Dan Black, permitting Cappa to having one more match against Puerto Rican Lightning if Cappa could defeat each Lightning Crew member in a match. It started on IntenseZone 4 weeks ago, when Cappa took on the smallest member of the Lightning Crew Spanish Fly in a one-on-one match. Jesse: Spanish Fly made his debut at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten by taking out Cappa. It was truly a great moment, seeing Cappa lying on the mat, in pain, at the hands of Puerto Rican Lightning once again. It was beautiful! JR: Spanish Fly impressed us all with his variety of moves, but in the end, The Mad Cappa, in a 10-minute spot fest, defeated Spanish Fly making Fly’s OaOasT record 0-1. Jesse: Fly tried his very best, but sadly, Cappa cheated, and because of this, Cappa moved on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. JR: He cheated? Cappa didn’t cheat! He defeated Spanish Fly fair and square! Jesse: He cheated! I saw him cheat with my very eyes! JR: Where? Jesse: It’s there somewhere! JR: You’re just looking for excuses. Jesse: I am not! ::The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen again. Clips from The Mad Cappa/Mr. Boricua match from the January 6, 2004 edition of IntenseZone appear on screen. A caption reads “OAOAST INTENSEZONE 3 WEEKS AGO”. The clips end with Cappa pinning Mr. Boricua.:: JR: Then three weeks ago on IntenseZone, the Lightning Crew Gauntlet continued with Cappa going toe-to-toe with Puerto Rican Lightning’s Bodyguard, Mr. Boricua in a match that was dubbed a “David vs. Goliath Wrestling Match.” Jesse: God Bless Mr. Boricua. The big man did what he was told to do and that is destroy The Mad Cappa and crush the little pipsqueak. He hurt Cappa, and he may him suffer and it was great to watch. JR: Dan Black threw a monkey wrench into the match, when he announced that Puerto Rican Lightning would be the Special Ringside Enforcer for the match and that if Cappa won, Mad Cappa would earn a spot in the Royal Rumble Match tonight at Anglepalooza. PRL was less of an Enforcer, and more of a cheerleader for Boricua as he ordered Boricua to continue beating on Cappa until he screamed mercy. Jesse: Mr. Boricua would have had the match won, if it weren’t for Puerto Rican Lightning’s Sweet Chin Music hitting Mr. Boricua instead. Cappa was DEAD! HE WAS FINISH! It was a fluke win and nothing more than that. JR: Mr. Boricua was in control for the majority of the 14-minute match, but in the end, Cappa’s heart and determination. Jesse: And PRL’s Sweet Chin Music. Tell it right! JR(disgusted): AND CAPPA’S HEART AND DETERMINATION led him to beating Mr. Boricua, and not only moving on in the Gauntlet, but also earning a spot in the Royal Rumble Match, a match that will happen later tonight. Jesse: Great. So now we have to see Mad Cappa twice in one night. That’s just great! It’s bad enough we have to see him AT ALL, let alone two times in one night. And I vomit at the idea that The Mad Cappa could actually win the Royal Rumble Match, which would mean that he would go on to AngleMania III, the BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR and OF ALL TIME, and take on the OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion, and he could end up winning that match as well, which would mean that Cappa could be the OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion by March 29, 2004! UGH! Can you imagine the OaOasT being represented by THE MAD CRAPPA! A jobber? The same title that belonged to Anglesault, CWM, and Calvin Szechstein going around the waist of CAPPA! PRL would be better! JR: I think The Mad Cappa representing the OaOasT as its champion would be nice to see. Jesse: I’ll throw up if that ever happens. Luckily, Puerto Rican Lightning will be in the Royal Rumble Match as well, so he can prevent such a horrible idea from coming true. PRL’s in the Rumble because he EARNED it, not because of a fluke win! JR: Cappa has twice the heart PRL does! ::The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen again. Clips from The Mad Cappa/Thomas Rodriguez match from the January 20, 2004 edition of IntenseZone are shown. A caption reads “OAOAST INTENSEZONE LAST TUESDAY”. The clips end with Mad Cappa celebrating his win.:: JR: He took a break 2 weeks ago, but last week on IntenseZone, The Mad Cappa continued the Lightning Crew Gauntlet by taking on Thomas Rodriguez, the official referee of The Lightning Crew. It was certainly a surprised coming from Puerto Rican Lightning. Jesse: The Lightning Crew Gauntlet means that every LC member has a match against Cappa, including the referee. JR: But wouldn’t PRL want Cappa to face someone with actual WRESTLING training like Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, or Colombian Heat? Jesse: I admit it. Having PRL send Thomas Rodriguez out to fight was probably a bad idea. JR: Thomas Rodriguez actually pinned The Mad Cappa and ended the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, but it was thanks to PRL’s interference. Thankfully, OaOasT Corporate representative Stephen Joseph reversed the decision and one BUST A CAP later; Cappa won the match and moved on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. Jesse: Stephen Joseph is a jealous and bitter man. If he had any heart, if he had any conscience, he would have allowed Thomas Rodriguez to win. JR: PRL interfered in the match! Joseph reversing it was the right thing to do! Jesse: No it wasn’t! Joseph should have just left the match the way it was! He had no right to do what he did! He is just bitter that The Lightning Crew beat him down more than a month ago! JR: That’s not true! Stephen Joseph has a heart of gold! Jesse: Wasn’t he apart of the Trinity less than a year ago? JR: HE’S CHANGED! Jesse: No he hasn’t! He’s just being the same as he was when he was with the Trinity except wearing a suit and tie! JR: Try saying that to his face! Jesse: I will. JR: Sure you will. And so it brings us to tonight. This past week on IntenseZone, Puerto Rican Lightning introduced to us the newest member of the Lightning Crew. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. PRL created PROTOTYPE in an attempt to destroy The Mad Cappa, and he may get the chance to prove that if The Mad Cappa defeats Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez tonight at Anglepalooza. With the addition of PROTOTYPE, The Lightning Crew goes from having 8 members to 9. Jesse: PROTOTYPE is the evolution of this business. He is what every Lightning Crew member should be and will be. PRL has created the first of an army that will one day engulfed the wrestling world. PRL is an evil, evil man, and yet, he is the greatest wrestler in the OaOasT today! HA! HA! JR: Cappa has defeated 3 Lightning Crew Members. He still has 5 more members to go including tonight against Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. If he beats Lindsay, he will be inching closer and closer to a match against Puerto Rican Lightning! Jesse: Lindsay will do it. She will pull the upset. I know she can. She told me so last night in bed—I mean, in the lockeroom---I mean, at lunch. JR: Why am I not surprised? ::”No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd begins playing. The crowd stands up and boos loudly as the AngleTron shows Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez’s picture indicating her entrance. The crowd pops a bit, but goes back to booing as “No Chance In Hell” begins playing. Red and purple pyro shoots from both sides of the entrance. Purple spotlights circle the arena with the lights flickering on and off in the entrance.:: JR: Lindsay is going to be making her entrance anytime now. ::”No Chance In Hell” continues to play, as Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez enters through the curtain. She stops, smirking and looks at the crowd with a mix of pity and disgust. Lindsay smiles and laughs evilly and begins making her way to the ring with her hair in a ponytail wearing a pink Lightning Crew tanktop, pink spandex pants with PUERTO on the left leg, and RICO on the right with LINDSAY spelled out in script in red on the rear. She is also wearing black elbow pads, pink wrist tape, black boots and a gold chain. The crowd gives her a mixed reaction, with more hootering, hollering, and whistling drowning out the boos. Mostly from the male section of the crowd. Lindsay smirks and walks to the ring.:: Jesse: WHOA! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is looking BEAUTIFUL and SEXY tonight! That may just be the sexiest ring attire I’ve ever seen. She was right when she said it would be quite sexy. JR: Lindsay looking more like she should be a model than a wrestler. Lindsay has had wrestling training in the past. She competed for several independent leagues and Lucha Libre for years before she gave up on her dream of being a wrestler until Puerto Rican Lightning met her in a Puerto Rico club back in March of last year. Jesse: How could PRL NOT fall for her? I mean look at her! She’s a goddess. She is just one sexy Latina. PRL is one lucky man. *DING DING DING* Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheldued for one fall, and is Round 4 of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. The rules of the Gauntlet are simple. If The Mad Cappa defeats each and every member of the Lightning Crew, then he will have one final match against Puerto Rican Lightning. But if he loses, Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning can never have a match against each other. The following match is an Intergender one-on-one matchup under The Lightning Crew Gauntlet. Introducing first, coming to the ring. Weighing in at 182 lbs. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. She is the first lady of the Lightning Crew. “The Latin Bitch” MS. LINDSAYYYYYYYYY GONZALLLLLEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! JR: Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is coming to the ring by herself tonight. Jesse: That’s because PRL figured that Cappa has a bad taste in women, and therefore wouldn’t be interested in trying to cop a feel from Lindsay. JR (disgusted): That’s nice. ::Lindsay continues making her way into the ring. She laughs evilly and enters the ring, raising her hands and receiving a mixture of cheers and boos. Lindsay stands in the center of the ring and poses as confetti drops from the rafters and a giant Puerto Rico flag unfurls. She smiles evilly as “No Chance In Hell” continues to play. The lights go back in the arena. Lindsay bounces off the ropes and waits for Cappa to enter.:: JR: Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is making her OaOasT wrestling debut tonight and it is apart of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet against The Mad Cappa. Jesse: This will be a match that Mad Cappa never ever forgets! ::”No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd dies down and is replaced with…:: *1, 2, 3! Hit It!* ::The opening trumpet blare makes the crowd erupt.:: JR: And here comes The Mad Cappa! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins playing. The crowd stands up and cheer, some even dancing to the beat. Chants of “Go CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA!” ring throughout the arena as spotlights circle and the lights flicker in the entrance. Suddenly, the spotlights stop and one centers on the entrance where Cappa’s back is turn. Cappa dances and turns to face the crowd, who greet him with cheers. TMC smiles and begins walking to the ring, slapping hands with the fans and dancing along to “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)”.:: JR: The Mad Cappa is the most popular superstar on IntenseZone and one of the OaOasT’s most popular athletes. Jesse: And it makes me sick to my stomach. These fans don’t know what is good for them. They should NOT be cheering The Mad Cappa. They should be cheering Puerto Rican Lightning. They should NOT be cheering Zack Malibu. They should be cheering Calvin Szechstein. They just don’t get it. GMC: And making his way into the ring. Weighing in at 185 lbs. From Washington D.C., he is the challenger in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! JR: The Mad Cappa receiving the same kind of response he receives everywhere we go. OaOasT fans around the world love The Mad Cappa! Jesse: A stupid decision by these stupid fans cheering another stupid wrestler with a stupid name. And here I was thinking OaOasT fans were intelligent! JR: They are intelligent, Jesse. They love The Mad Cappa and don’t like Puerto Rican Lightning! ::The Mad Cappa continues soaking in the cheers. He looks at the camera and saids “I don’t know!” then heads to the ringside area and slaps the hands of the fans in the front row. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez looks at Mad Cappa in disgust and curses at him in Spanish. Cappa continues slapping the hands of the fans, and then looks at Lindsay with a look of determination. The Mad Cappa enters the ring as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool continues to play. Lindsay curses at Cappa.:: JR: The Mad Cappa is wrestling his first match against a female something Cappa has never done before. Jesse: You mean be next to a girl without having a restraining order put against him? ::The Mad Cappa enters the ring. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stares at Cappa, either sizing him up or checking him out. Cappa stares back at Lindsay sizing her up.:: JR: It looks like Ms. Lindsay has taken a liking to Cappa. Jesse: Don’t be stupid. She is just sizing him up. ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool dies down. The crowd cheers and starts chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” The referee calls for the bell.:: *DING DING DING* The Lightning Crew Gauntlet: If The Mad Cappa Wins, He Moves On. If He Loses, Then He and Puerto Rican Lightning Can Never Have A Match Against Each Other; Intergender One-On-One Professional Wrestling Match: The Mad Cappa vs. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez: The Mad Cappa and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stare at each other. The crowd boos Lindsay and chant “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” at her. Cappa is a little weary of her at first, but Lindsay smiles and winks at him. JR: What exactly is Lindsay doing? Jesse: She’s just toying with him. Lindsay starts flirting with Cappa. The crowd warns Cappa, but Cappa seems to be drawn to her. She smiles. He smiles. Lindsay starts moving closer and closer to Cappa. She runs her hand through Cappa’s hair, which he likes. She whispers something in his ear. He giggles. JR: I don’t like where this is going. Jesse: Why not? Lindsay maybe switching teams. JR: Didn’t you just say she was toying with him? Jesse: I can change my mind. JR: I certainly hope Cappa doesn’t fall for what Ms. Lindsay is doing. The crowd warns Cappa of what Lindsay is really doing, but Cappa is entranced by her. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez shoves Cappa to a turnbuckle, and touches his body. She feels his face and whispers something in his ears. Lindsay shakes her breasts to Cappa and the crowd’s delight, and then lowers her tanktop for Cappa to get a peak. Jesse: Yes! Go for it, Cappa! Get some tail for once! JR: Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is using her womanly charms to distract Cappa. She has done this to many of PRL’s opponents, but never in a one-on-one match. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez kisses Cappa’s nose. She then gives Mad Cappa a French kiss, which causes the makes the crowd boo. Jesse: No fair! I should be receiving a kiss from Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. No fair! The Mad Cappa loves the kiss. Ms. Lindsay plays with Cappa’s head, then her smile turns to a frown, and she slaps Cappa right across his face. Lindsay then poses, which gets boos from the crowd. Jesse: HA! HA! Way to go Lindsay! Way to trick Cappa! JR: First you say it’s a trick, and then you say she actually likes him, and then you say it’s a trick? Jesse: Hey, I can change my mind whenever I want! Lindsay continues posing and receiving the crowds boos. They chant “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” Lindsay flips the crowd off, which gives Cappa enough time to grab Lindsay and kick her in the gut and receive a BUST A CAP. JR: BUST A CAP! THE BUST A CAP!!! THE MAD CAPPA JUST HIT MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ WITH THE BUST A CAP! Jesse: NO! NO! IT CAN’T END THIS QUICK! IT JUST CAN’T! The crowd explodes. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez lies on the mat in pain. The Mad Cappa covers her. Jesse: The Mad Cappa fulfilling every man’s fantasy! 1… 2… 3!!! *DING DING DING* JR: THE MAD CAPPA HAS WON! THE MAD CAPPA HAS WON! THE MAD CAPPA IS MAD CAPPA IS MOVING ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! THE MAD CAPPA IS MOVING ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!! Jesse: NO FAIR! NO FAIR! HE SURPRISED LINDSAY! HE SURPRISED LINDSAY!!! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins to play. The crowd explodes, cheering Mad Cappa, who raises his hands in victory with a surprised look on his face. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez lies down on the mat, in pain, holding her neck. She struggles to get up as Cappa dances.:: Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this contest, and moving on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! JR: IT WAS THE SHORTEST MATCH IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET SO FAR, BUT IT WAS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THE OTHER THREE MATCHES! THE MAD CAPPA HAS DEFEATED MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ TO MOVE ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET AND IS NOW 4 LC MEMBERS AWAY FROM A MATCH AGAINST PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! Jesse: I don’t believe it! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez didn’t even get any offense in. All she did was flirt with Cappa, and she pays for it with a BUST A CAP! What a misogynistic Cappa is! He is a woman beater! The Mad Cappa is a woman beater! If he weren’t, he wouldn’t have given Lindsay a BUST A CAP! JR: The jezebel got exactly what was coming to her! Jesse: So you are actually CONDONING this obvious example of misogyny? JR: This wasn’t misogyny! This was a one-on-one match that Lindsay AGREED to participate in! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool continues to play. The Mad Cappa dances and gets the crowd hyped up. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is still lying on the mat, holding her neck in pain. The Mad Cappa gets on the turnbuckles and poses getting more cheers. He looks at Lindsay and chuckles.:: Jesse: Look at Cappa! Laughing at the evil he’s done. He should be ashamed of himself! JR: He did what he had to do, to win this matchup. Jesse: HE DIDN’T HAVE TO GIVE LINDSAY A BUST A CAP THAT HURT HER DELICATE NECK! ::The Mad Cappa continues celebrating. He puts up four fingers in the air and saids “Four more! Four more!” Cappa leaves the ring and heads to the timekeeper’s table.:: JR: Cappa’s right. He’s right. Four more. Four more Lightning Crew members to go in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has been defeated and eliminated and now all that is left is Cuban Wall, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, Vitamin X, and Colombian Heat. Jesse: HA! HA! Four superstars who will SURELY get the job done! Now PRL is bringing out the big guns. He is bringing out the four most talented, powerful Lightning Crew members. Surely, one of those four will get the job done and DESTROY The Mad Cappa and end this stupid Gauntlet once and for all! ::The Mad Cappa reaches underneath the timekeeper’s table and grabs a cooler with beer in it. The crowd pops which causes Cappa to smile.:: JR: The Mad Cappa is going to go Stone Cold on us now. Jesse: Which means you should start yelling his name out like you’re having an orgasm right about now, right? JR: Will you stop? ::”Let Me Clear My Throat” begins playing again as Cappa grabs a beer and drinks it. He heads into the ring with the cooler in hand and looks at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez who is still lying on the mat clutching her neck. The crowd becomes silent wondering what Cappa will do.:: JR: I wonder what Cappa’s thinking? Jesse: I’m sure he’s thinking about other ways to hurt her now that the match is over! ::The Mad Cappa finishes the beer he is drinking and grabs another one from the cooler. He opens it and raises it in a toast, then pours the beer all over Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, which gets a loud, loud pop. The pouring of the beer wakes Lindsay up and gets her on her knees. She screams loudly as the beer is poured all over her by a smiling Cappa.:: JR: AND NOW THE MAD CAPPA IS GIVING MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ A BEER BATH! Jesse: HE’S JUST ADDING INSULT TO INJURY! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! THE MATCH IS OVER CAPPA! YOU WON! NOW STOP BOTHERING LINDSAY! YOU’RE JUST BEING A BULLY NOW! JR: MAD CAPPA HAS JUST SOAKED MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ WITH BEER AND THE CROWD LOVES EVERY MINUTE OF IT! Jesse: These fans don’t know what’s good for them! ::The Mad Cappa finishes pouring Lindsay with beer then poses as “Let Me Clear My Throat” continues to play. Lindsay is now soaked from head to toe with beer. Her hair is completely wet, her tanktop is wet, which means the crowd can see through it. Lindsay starts crying loudly. She curses at Cappa, who laughs it off and leaves the ring with the cooler in his right hand. Lindsay continues freaking out, screaming and crying loudly. The crowd cheers Cappa and chants “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Lindsay kicks the ropes and screams some more throwing a temper tantrum.:: JR: MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ IS NOW COVERED IN HEAD TO TOE WITH BEER! Jesse: HOW DARE CAPPA DO THIS? HAVE LINDSAY REEK OF THE STENCH OF BEER! THAT ISN’T VERY HEROIC OF HIM! THAT IS NOT SOMETHING A FAN FAVORITE SHOULD BE DOING! HE'S SUPPOSE TO BE A GOODY TWO SHOES! HE'S SUPPOSE TO BE ALL SWEET AND KIND AND ALL THAT CRAP! JR: And since when are you the beacon for all that is good and right? Jesse: I’ve always have been! ::The Mad Cappa heads through the crowd slapping hands with the fans along the way. Cappa poses in the crowd with a smile on his face and a cooler full of beer in his right hand. The crowd cheers loudly and chant “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” Cappa smiles then disappears through the crowd with the crowd still chanting his name.:: JR: The Mad Cappa is gone for now, but he will be back later on tonight to compete in the Royal Rumble match! Jesse: And he will MOST SURELY lose there! JR: I’m not so sure about it, Jes. With Cappa winning this match and moving on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, Cappa might have the momentum going into the Rumble match. Perhaps this match was an omen for later tonight. An omen that The Mad Cappa could walk out of Anglepalooza with the #1 Contendership for the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship. Jesse: In your dreams, Jim Ross! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool dies down. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is still in the ring and is still throwing a temper tantrum, still wet from head to toe. She smells her hair. The stench from the beer causes her to scream. The crowd boos and chants “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” Lindsay orders the crowd to shut up, but instead they boo her some more. Lindsay screams then exits the ring, pouting and yelling along the way.:: Jesse: What a childish thing The Mad Cappa did to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. And a waste of what was surely some good beer also! JR: This was most likely NOT the result PRL wanted for this match. Jesse: YOU THINK? ::Cut back to announcer’s table with Jim “J.R.” Ross and Jesse “The Body” Ventura:: JR: But the fact of the matter is, The Mad Cappa has defeated Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and is moving on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, but more importantly, is four Lightning Crew members away from a one-on-one match against Puerto Rican Lightning. Jesse: The Mad Cappa better keep dreaming because there is NO WAY that The Mad Cappa will win a match against the next person he is facing. Because no matter who it is, it will be one of the Lightning Crew’s best. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Colombian Heat, or PROTOTYPE. Cappa had a chance against Spanish Fly, because Fly was making his OaOasT debut, and thus was nervous. Plus, he was smaller than Cappa. Boricua had a chance and COULD have finished this damn Gauntlet, but PRL’s missed Sweet Chin Music ended that. Thomas Rodriguez had no chance since he wasn’t even a trained wrestler. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is a woman, so it’s no surprise that Cappa defeated her. JR: What's that suppose to mean? Jesse: Shut up. PROTOTYPE was created for this reason. To DESTROY THE MAD CRAPPA! He will DEFINTLEY get the job done. And so could Cuban Wall, with his power and speed for a man his size. Vitamin X can also do it since he is speedy and technical. And Colombian Heat is an incredible cruiserweight so he can do it too. Plus he is PRL’s right hand man. Trust me. Just you see. The Mad Cappa will lose against one of these four men, and the Lightning Crew Gauntlet will end once and for all! The Mad Cappa will pay for what he did to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez tonight! He will be punished severely by Puerto Rican Lightning! Just you wait! JR: Well fans, we’ve said all we can about this match. Jesse: The fans don’t want to hear you talk. JR: So we now send it to the HeldDown crew. Michael Cole, Jonathon Coachman, and Caboose. Guys, take it away! ::Cut to the HeldDown announcer’s table with Michael Cole, Jonathon Coachman, and Caboose.:: Jonathon “Da Coach” Coachman: Damn, that Lindsay Gonzalez is really hot. Not as hot as Crystal, but she is FINE! I never realized that until now. Michael Cole: Oh God, it’s bad enough you drool all over the ladies on HeldDown, now you want to drool all over Lindsay from IntenseZone? Coach: Hey, I may have a reason to actually watch IntenseZone now. ::Caboose slaps the back of his head.:: Caboose: Don't say that! IZ sucks. Remember that! Coach: Come on, can't a brother try and get his mack on? I can’t be the only one who wanted to do Lindsay right now when she was in the ring all wet, with her hair wet, with her tanktop showing her black bra covering those massive breasts and that ass! What a fine ass! I wonder if I should try and ask her out. I’m sure Puerto Rican Lightning wouldn’t mind. I’ve heard Lindsay has been around the block several times if you know what I mean. Caboose: Keep it in your pants junior, unless you want to be greeted with a Chokeslam courtesy of Mr. Boricua. Coach: I’m not afraid. I can take the Lightning Crew on by myself. After all, they’re from IntenseZone. How bad can they be? I just want to lick all that beer off from Lindsay Gonzalez’s sexy, wet, big breasted and big ass body. ::Michael Cole and Caboose give Coach odd looks. Coach realizes what he said:: Coach: ....Did I just say that out loud? Caboose: Yup, and infront of an international t.v. audience to boot. M.C. (rolls eyes): Coach, just when I thought you couldn’t get weirder. Caboose: I’ve heard worst from him. Coach: Oh, like YOU wouldn’t do the same thing. Michael Cole: Let’s move on from that odd little segment, and concentrate on what makes this organization so great. Excellent wrestling and excellent wrestlers! The next match from HeldDown….

COLE Here it is ladies and gentleman. The culmination of two months of hatred. The culmination of two months of fighting. The culmination of two months of out and out war. I’m of course talking about the steel cage match between Damaramu and Crystal. COACH Yes this all started back before Deadly Game. Crystal made an offhanded remark about Damaramu’s integrity in an interview and he flipped out. He later would attack her and give her a concussion going into perhaps the biggest match of her life, the Deadly Game Elimination Chamber. CABOOSE But did it stop there? I don’t think so. They continued to battle each other week in and week out. Finally Northstar gave them 10 minutes on TV to do whatever they wanted. Damaramu was about to get the pinfall when the Time Limit expired. COLE But it wasn’t over. At Bloody, Battered, and Beaten they fought in a Last Person Standing match. Who won? Well nobody. Neither competitor could come to there feet after Damaramu tried to press slam Crystal off the top rope through our announce table, she reversed it into a DDT and both competitors were out. COACH Then the next night she declared that it wasn’t over and Northstar made the steel cage match for tonight! CABOOSE But that wasn’t enough. In a handicap match with Crystal and Northstar taking on Damaramu it was revealed that Damaramu and Northstar have been in cahoots this entire time! They brought a beating for Crystal that night that only fueled her fire. COACH It all comes to a head in the steel cage right now! Let’s go to the ring! ANNOUNCER Ladies and Gentleman this is the STEEL CAGE MATCH! The only way to win this bout is to pin your opponent in the middle of the ring, I have been informed by GM Northstar that if either competitor leaves the cage then they will forfeit the match and a spot in the Rumble match! COLE Well this just got even more interesting! "I’m Just a Girl" by No Doubt hits as the red and white lights swirl around the entrance way. The fans absolutely go nuts as Crystal appears in the smoke that is filling the entrance way. ANNOUNCER Making her way to the ring! From Coquitlam, BC Canada, weighing in at 135 pounds.......THE FEMALE PHENOM CRRRRRYSTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fans cheer even louder as Crystal enters the cage and climbs the side pointing towards the entrance ramp and begging Damaramu to come to the ring. COACH She’s ready! Look at her! She glows at times like this! CABOOSE I think Damaramu will dampen that glow with a little blood......... The fans all begin to boo as loud as possible as all of the lights in the arena go out. “I Stand Alone” by Godsmack begins to play as a spotlight spins around the arena before finally settling on the figures of Damaramu and Northstar coming out of the entrance way. ANNOUNCER And her opponent! Being accompanied to the ring by NORTHSTAR! From Moore, Oklahoma, weighing in at 248 pounds, DAMARAMU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fans boo louder, nearly blowing the roof off the place as Damaramu enters the cage and points at Crystal with a smirk on his evil face. COLE This is already intense. COACH I can barely breathe! The lights go back up as Damaramu stands in the corner staring Crystal down. Crystal paces on the other side of the ring wanting the ref to ring the bell. Finally the referee calls for the bell. DING DING DING! Crystal bursts out of the corner streaking across the ring and spearing Damaramu! COACH He wasn’t expecting that! Crystal lands on top of Damaramu and begins to punch him wildly. Dama covers up as the referee pulls Crystal off and tries to get her back to the corner. Crystal breaks free and again rushes a Damaramu who is trying to stand. She slams him into the corner and begins delivering expertly placed martial arts kicks. Damaramu once again tries to cover up but it is to no avail. Finally Crystal stops and Irish whips him into the far corner. Dama hits the ring post hard and immediately falls face first to the match. He starts to try and get up but Crystal is on him delivering a running dropkick to his face putting him back down. CABOOSE This is not what Damaramu needed! He did not need to allow Crystal to come out and start the attack! He needs to keep this at his own punishing pace! COACH Get one thing straight! He didn’t allow anything! She took it! COLE I’m inclined to agree with Coach. Now Crystal is lifting Damaramu off the mat and....she’s asking the fans if they want him thrown into the cage! FANS YES!!!!!!! Crystal grabs hold of Damaramu’s hair and sends him flying into the cage. Damaramu clears the top rope and his entire body smacks against the cage shaking the structure. Northstar is already losing it on the outside of the ring. He’s leaping up and down and yelling at every fan in sight. Crystal flips Northstar off and declares he’s next. Northstar gets a look of nervousness and backs away from the cage a little. Crystal once again lifts Dama by his hair and sends him flying into the opposite cage wall. FANS ALL FOUR! Crystal obliges and drags Dama back to the center of the ring. She lets loose sending him sailing into the 3rd wall. The fans cheer loudly as blood begins to trickle down Damaramu’s face. Crystal lifts him again and sends him flying into the 4th wall. This time however she follows him in with a high knee driving his face into the cage. She steps back and begins to grind his face on the cage. Dama screams out in agony as Crystal continues her assault. COLE Damaramu’s face is already stained with crimson! Crystal has wasted no time delivering a fight! COACH This isn’t a fight! It’s an ass beating! Crystal brings Dama back to the center of the ring sweeps his legs out from under him. Dama hits the mat as Crystal hits the ropes and comes back with a rolling thunder! Dama grabs his midsection and grimaces while Crystal hits the ropes again and comes back with another rolling thunder! Crystal goes for the pin! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Crystal yanks him up! COLE She yanked him up on 1! She’s just showing her dominance here! CABOOSE She’ll slip up! Damaramu is the best at exploiting an opponents mistake! Crystal sends Dama into the ropes and hits him with a dropkick on his way back. Dama hits the mat and rolls to his stomach, Crystal once again hits the ropes and comes back with a knee drop right to the small of Damaramu’s back! COACH She’s going to already soften his back up for the Crystalling! COLE Plus if his back is injured...he can’t lift her for the Dama Hammer! Crystal continues her assault stomping away on Damaramu’s lower back. Finally she pulls him to his feet and wraps her arms around his waist...she leans back bring Dama with her delivering a hard German suplex! Dama holds on as Crystal flips around and pulls him back up this time in a suplex position! Crystal delivers a vicious snap suplex the brings Dama down hard onto his back. Dama grabs his back and cries out in pain while Crystal pulls him to his feet. Crystal picks him up in a spinebuster position but instead opts to run him back first into the cage! Dama yells in pain as Crystal repeatedly rams his back into the cage wall! Finally she lets go while Dama stands propped up against the cage wall! Crystal hits the opposite ropes and comes back with a spear!! INTO THE CAGE! DAMA MOVES! COLE Mistake there by Crystal! Oh man she hit that cage head first! Her neck compressed! CABOOSE Now Damaramu will capitalize...and we all know nobody works that neck and head over better than him. COACH Maybe not......... Damaramu falls through the ropes and lays face first on the mat. Blood runs out onto the mat, meanwhile Crystal is still laying across the middle rope after running head first into the cage. FANS CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! COLE The fans rallying behind Crystal as both competitors are already out in the early goings here! Finally Damaramu pushes himself off of the mat. He stands and grabs onto his lower back and then turns to Crystal who is pulling herself to her feet. A look of rage contorts Damaramu’s already evil features. Crystal stands staggering and then turns around.....right into a Dama Elbow Smash! 1! 2! 3! 4! Crystal is just laying against the ropes taking it! 5! 6! Dama spins........rolling elbow! Dama steps aside as Crystal falls face first onto the mat. COLE 6 elbow smashes and then a rolling elbow! COACH Did you see the way her head snapped on those shots! Damaramu falls into the corner holding his lower back as the fans continue to boo him loudly. Finally he decides to tough out the pain and stands up as Crystal tries to make her way to her feet. Dama grabs her by the hair and send her sailing into the cage! He throws her with such force that it almost seems like she is going to break through the cage! Crystal hits so hard that she is immediately thrown back into the ring! Northstar is now ecstatic on the outside of the ring! He’s yelling and dancing as Damaramu continues his assault on the now bloody Crystal. COLE Both competitors are busted open pretty good! And Damaramu is back on the warpath! Damaramu yanks Crystal to the center of the ring and puts her down in powerbomb position. He lifts her......no for a piledriver! Dama leaps into the air and comes back down driving Crystal’s head into the mat! Crystal bounces back up like a pogo stick and lands on her back. Damaramu rolls over for the cover. 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOOOOOO!CRYSTAL KICKED OUT! The fans cheer as Crystal kicks out just as the hand comes down for 3. The match continues now with Damaramu slapping on the dreaded crossface! COLE He wants to punish that neck of hers! Crystal yells in pain as Damaramu leans way back on the crossface nearly ripping her head off! DAMARAMU Tap! Tap! Tap! Crystal screams in agony as Dama leaves the hold on for a good 45 seconds before releasing it. Crystal, ever the warrior, tries to stand but Dama kicks her back down. He decides to lift her to her feet and he sends her flying into the ropes. She comes back in and is met with a Yakuza Kick! She hits the mat and Damaramu looks to the top rope! The fans begin to flash there cameras as Damaramu heads to the top rope! He stands up there and lifts his arms above his head and then comes sailing off with a picture perfect elbow! Dama drives his elbow straight into Crystal’s neck! The fans boo loudly as he goes for the pin. 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO!YES!NO!YES!3!!!!DAMMIT!NOOO!SHE KICKED OUT!!!!! The fans once again explode as Crystal barely kicks out of this one. COACH I don’t think I can take this anymore! My heart is pounding so fast I think it’s going to leap out of my chest! CABOOSE Even I have butterflies! Damaramu turns to Northstar and demands that Northstar bring him a chair! Northstar runs over to the ring announcer and tosses him out of his chair. While Northstar is climbing the cage with a chair in tow Damaramu pulls Crystal to her feet and sets her up in powerbomb position! Dama lifts her up and brings her straight down on her head! Oh my god! What a sick looking drop! COLE Did he just break her neck!? COACH She’s still alive at least! Damaramu stands over the fallen Crystal as Northstar drops the chair into the ring. Dama smiles and declares to the crowd......1 more!!!! He lays the chair in the middle of the ring and sets her up in position.....DAMA LIFTS HER! REVERSED! HURRICARANA ON THE CHAIR! PIN! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!NO HE KICKED OUT! COLE Where did she find the strength to do that! Damaramu rolls over holding his bloody head as he came straight down on it. Damaramu’s entire face and head is now a bloody mess whilst Crystal’s once blonde hair is now red! Damaramu makes it to his feet and lifts the chair high......VAN DAMINATOR! Crystal sends it back into Damaramu’s face! Dama hits the mat and Crystal looks like she has new life! She screams into the air as the fans go nuts! Crystal pulls him back up and DDT’s him straight onto the chair! Damaramu spikes himself on the chair and then rolls back over....unmoving. Crystal goes to the corner.....she’s going for the double springboard moonsault! COLE She could put him away with this one! COACH What a back and forth contest! Crystal makes it to the top rope but keeps climbing! The fans all stand in unison as Crystal continues to go to the top of the cage! Crystal makes it to the top and steadies herself........MOONSAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING THERE! DAMARAMU MOVES! COLE OH MY GOD! She missed! CABOOSE Damaramu showing great thinking! Damaramu lays there as Crystal holds onto her stomach. The fans are all yelling as confusion settles over them. Crystal has just missed.....what will happen? Finally Damaramu comes to his feet but he is still very hurt from the DDT. Crystal is still laying there. Damaramu grabs the steel chair and stands over Crystal! He raises it high over his head.......wait! Crystal springs into action and sweeps his legs out from under him! Dama drops the chair and hits the back of his head on it as he comes down.....Crystal is going for the Crystalling! Crystal turns him over and Dama immediately begins to yell in pain! The fans grow loud while Northstar freaks out and begins shaking the cage. Crystal applies pressure as Damaramu does everything in his power to fight the move. Finally he begins to slowly quit thrashing. COLE Oh man...he looks like he’s losing it...he’s staring to pass out! COACH Crystal you’ve won! Damaramu’s eyes start to roll back....realizing what is happening Northstar springs into action and begins to climb the cage! Crystal realizing that Northstar can’t enter the ring lets go of the old and runs for the cage, delivering a dropkick that sends Northstar sailing off and onto the concrete! Crystal turns and begins to head back to Damaramu but he seems to have pulled something out of his tights! Crystal bends down and gets......a face full of powder! Damaramu throws powder into her face! She bounces back into the ropes and then comes forward as Damaramu rolls her up in a small package! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! CRYSTAL KICKS OUT! Damaramu pulls himself to his feet as Crystal stumbles around the ring! He’s got the chair............BOOM! Damaramu cracks Crystal over the head with the chair! COLE What a match! CABOOSE They keep going back and forth! And it’s leaving nothing but carnage! Crystal hits the mat and Damaramu stands over her and picks her up by the throat! He holds her out as if getting ready for a chokeslam........Crystal regains her sight! BAM! Crystal goes for the gold and kicks Dama right between the legs! Dama doubles over in pain and Crystal takes over again! She begins to chop Damaramu in the chest as hard as she can! Dama is backed up to the corner and Crystal continues her beating! Crystal runs back and the comes flying back in with a dropkick that nearly propels Dama over the turnbuckle! Crystal picks Dama up in Death Valley Driver position! COACH Yeah....give him a taste of his own medicine!!! Crystal starts to go for it but Damaramu wraps his arms and legs around her arms! Dama tries to roll her over into a crucifix pin but Crystal manages to fall on him! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO HE KICKS OUT! COLE I thought it was over right there! COACH Someone get me some oxygen!!! The fans look emotionally drained but they continue to cheer Crystal on as she rallies back! Crystal lifts the chair up and brings it back down cracking Damaramu across the head......but he’s still on his feet! Crystal tosses the chair at him and then runs into him like a football player picking him up and running him into the cage again! Dama falls and Crystal spins him around and begins to repeatedly ram his bloody face into the cage! COLE This is insane! She’s lost it! Crystal starts to climb the cage above Damaramu stomping down on his face! Dama falls out into the ring and Crystal decides to head for the top again! COLE She’s going up! Is she going to try it again! CABOOSE Very dangerous here! Dama is beside the ropes! She’d have to angle any move perfectly to hit him! Crystal makes it about halfway up before Damaramu springs up as if playing possum. He shakes the cage causing Crystal to hold onto it tightly temporarily stopping her climb! CABOOSE Damaramu’s climbing the cage to! Damaramu begins to climb the cage as well until he is beside Crystal! Crystal however grabs his face and rams it into the top of the cage! Damaramu falls back into the ring! Crystal begins to move over to the turnbuckle! Damaramu lies broken and lifeless in the middle of the ring as Crystal lands on the top turnbuckle! The fans are cheering loudly as Northstar is having a heart attack beside the ring! He’s yelling and pleading at Damaramu to get up! Crystal decides to climb the cage again! COLE She’s going for the moonsault from the top again! COACH She knows that only a big move like this can put Dama away! Damaramu starts to stir and slowly rises to his feet! Crystal is half way up the cage and Damaramu is climbing the turnbuckle again! COLE I said it at Deadly Game and I’ll say it again.......he’s the terminator! Damaramu stands on the top turnbuckle and begins to deliver shots to Crystals back until she let’s go of the cage......bringing her down onto Dama’s shoulders!!!!!!!! COLE NO! HE CAN’T DO THAT! COACH HE’S NOT SERIOUS!? CABOOSE(laughing) YES! A DAMA HAMMER OF THE TOP ROPE!!!! Damaramu stands there balancing Crystal on his shoulders for a moment before he leaps into the air and flips Crystal over! Both come crashing down on the mat and Crystal’s neck is jarred across Damaramu’s shoulder! COLE DAMMIT! THAT’S SICK! CABOOSE You said it was a war! COACH(visibly losing it) NOT LIKE THIS! NOT LIKE THIS GOD DAMMIT! Northstar begins to celebrate on the side of the ring as Damaramu goes for the cover. 1!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING! The fans go crazy as Damaramu’s music enters their ears! Every fan in the arena is visibly upset and close to rioting! ANNOUNCER HERE IS YOUR WINNER.......DAMARAMU! The bloody Damaramu raises his hand in victory as Northstar enters the cage and begins to drag him out the door. Northstar pulls him out and onto the mats. Both sit outside with Dama raising his hand in victory. Finally both men stand and raise their hands in victory as fans pelt them with garbage. Damaramu’s music continues to play while Northstar and Damaramu back up the entrance ramp with there hands raised in victory! COLE Dammit! I can’t believe it ended like that! I can’t believe he was sick enough to do that! COACH I hope someone murders that guy in the Rumble match..... COLE If he even makes it there! Look at how bloody both of them are! Crystal lies in the ring as the cage is raised and a host of officials enter the ring and begin to help her. They get her outside of the ring and she tries to stand and walk on her own but she can’t. Crystal collapses and two refs put her arms around them. Damaramu and Northstar stand at the top of the ramp giving Crystal a sarcastic ovation. Finally the two men once again raise their hands in victory and exit the arena. COLE Ladies and Gentleman....Crystal is a warrior. She tries to walk out on her own but you see she just can’t do it. Damaramu was just to much tonight. COACH This man is a monster. But Crystal has nothing to be ashamed of! COLE That’s right. This was a bloody feud built on hatred. Both of these competitors poured everything they had into every match they had and in the end Damaramu came out on top! But I still believe these two superstars are on the same level. Both have a tremendous heart, even if one of them is black, and neither will give up. Northstar was wrong.....Damaramu isn’t the only future of Heldown. Both of these superstars are. However Damaramu was victorious tonight and I guess we have to applaud him. CABOOSE By any means necessary.....that’s what he said. And he said he would break her...it happened. We knew it would, he knew it would. I think the better wrestler won. COLE A truly amazing match to cap off a truly amazing feud. Let’s go to the IZ team.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is time now, for our opening contest~! "I'M NOT AFRAAAAAID~!" COLE Here we go, kicking things off HeldDOWN~! style tonight at AnglePalooza! Earshot's "Not Afraid" has already started up, and The Superstar walks out to the stage, welcomed by a chorus of boos from the sellout crowd. The fans reaction to his arrival doesn't phase Superstar in the slightest, as he head to the ring, a cocky smirk stretched across his face, as Buffer completes his introduction. BUFFER From Tucson, AZ, he has held both the X Title, as well as the 24/7 Title. Once a member of The In Crowd with his opponent, he has now go on his own path, defying both friends and foes as he creates his own path to glory. Ladies and gentlemen, THIS...IS...THE SUPERSTAR~! Superstar is now up on the apron, and turns around, facing the crowd, soaking up the spotlight. He steps into the ring and walks over to the corner, propping himself up on it, and again gleefully taunting the crowd, as they jeer him relentlessly. BUFFER Now, introducing his opponent... Before another word is spoken, Superstar swipes the mic from a stunned Michael Buffer. SUPERSTAR If you don't mind, Michael, I'd like to handle this. Buffer doesn't object, probably fearing a life wrapped in a cast. SUPERSTAR Ladies and gentlemen, introducing my opponent...hailing from Providence, RI, but soon to reside in a hospital bed for the rest of his living days...he is a former World Heavyweight Champion not because he can kick ass, but because he knows how to kiss ass...he is ZACK MALLLIBUUUUUU~! The fans boo Superstar's intro of the Preppy One, but the jeers turn to cheers as "Bring Me To Life" is cued up seconds later. Once the first chorus hits, Zack Malibu and Candie step out from the back, not in their usual jovial moods, but rather more focused on the matters at hand, as they stand side by side and look up the aisle and into the ring at Superstar, as the sparks from blue and gold pyro shower them. COLE This is going to be a doozy. CABOOSE A what? COLE A doozy? CABOOSE Michael, please leave your lingo in 1970 where it belongs. COACH I think what the playa is tryin' to say, Boosy, is that we're in for a treat, as this is the first time these two have ever locked up on PPV! CABOOSE Call me Boosy again, I rip out your jugular. Zack and Candie make their way down the aisle, with Superstar taunting the couple from the ring. Zack and Candie converse a bit, while Superstar sits down on the middle rope and holds the top rope up for Zack to make an entrace. Zack simply shoots a glare up at Superstar, his one time stablemate, and Supes backs off snickering, doing his best to get under Zack's (and the crowd's) skin. After getting his pre-match smooch from his pretty valet, Zack steps into the ring, coming at Superstar but holding off when the referee begins to step in. Superstar's demeanor is a more serious one now, not as taunting, but still flashing a cocky look at his former mentor, as the bell rings and Anglepalooza gets underway with this bout! The two men step into the center of the ring for the dreaded STAREDOWN~!, and neither one backs off. Finally, they step away from each other and begin to circle each other, then lock up in center ring. They jockey for position, but neither man gets the edge at first, until Superstar uses his leverage to back Zack into the corner. Referee calls for the break, and Superstar backs up without incident, raising his arms up and away from Malibu. COLE Shockingly, a clean break from Superstar there. Superstar keeps his arms raised as Zack stands up out of the corner, but then quickly jabs a thumb in his eye and grabs a headlock on Zack! COACH You spoke too soon, Mikey. Supes keeps Zack in the headlock, until Zack shoves off, sending Supes into the ropes. Superstar comes back with a shoulderblock, knocking Zack down, and then heads to the ropes again, as Malibu does a drop down, then comes up as Supes hits the other side, and leapfrogs over him as he comes off. Superstar bounces off the ropes again, and this time gets caught with a deep armdrag by Zack, sending him across the ring! Superstar gets up and dusts himself off, while Zack keeps an eye on him, and the two lock up again! Another back and forth battle for position, and Zack gains the advantage by working the arm, segueing from the lockup into an arm wrench. Superstar stays at bay, but counters with an arm wrench of his own moments later, and starts to work Zack over. Zack tries reaching back for the ropes, but Superstar has a vice grip on the arm. Zack finally has Superstar in a close enough position and hits an elbow to his chin, breaking his grip! Zack tucks his arm under Superstar's and hip tosses him over, but Superstar lands on his feet like a cat, and counters with a hiptoss of his own, only to have Zack land on HIS feet! Malibu counters again, and this time the hiptoss sends Superstar over the ropes and to the floor to a big pop! Flustered, Superstar pounds the apron and climbs right back up to get into the ring, but Malibu delivers a dropkick that sends Superstar falling back down to ringside! CABOOSE What a coward! Let him in the ring, Zack! Superstar recovers rather quickly, and climbs back up onto the apron, where Zack awaits him. SS reaches up and snaps Zack's neck down over the top rope, and then jumps down to the floor and reaches in, pulling Zack's feet out from under him and pulling him under the top rope and to the floor. COLE So Zack's a coward for hitting a dropkick, but Superstar is a model citizen for taking this match to the floor? CABOOSE Superstar is a model citizen for being able to see through Malibu’s facade. Besides, he's only taking this shortcut because Zack started it. On the floor, Superstar dishes out a chop to the chest of Zack, causing everyone's favorite prep to stagger a bit and clutch at his chest. Superstar pulls him back, and leaves him prone for another chop, cracking the skin on Zack's pecs. Superstar grabs Zack by the hair, and looks towards the steel ring post. He takes Zack by the head and hurls him towards the corner, but at the last second, Zack reaches out and grabs the post, swinging around it and rolling back into the ring on the other side! Stunned, Superstar jumps up on the apron, but he's met with a shoulder block to the stomach through the ropes, and then lifted in the hard way, via a Malibu suplex! Superstar crashes to the mat back first, while Zack gets up, the crowd roaring in approval of the opening minutes of this contest. COACH This match has all the makings of a classic, fo' sho! CABOOSE Except this lackluster commentary team. I'm recommending to Northstar that you two get replaced by people with some actual hints of talent. I feel like I'm stuck between a black Mark Madden and a Todd Pettengill groupie. COACH So...which one is which? CABOOSE *sigh* Superstar gets up from the suplex, but Zack is on his case already, firing off a few right hands to stagger him as he gets up. Zack backs him to the ropes and goes to Irish Whip him, but Superstar holds onto Zack's arm and counters the whip, pulling Zack in and then taking him over with a belly to belly suplex, taking the wind right out of him! Superstar stands up and immediately starts putting the boots to Zack, as Malibu tries to cover up and get to his feet. SS pulls him up the hard way, and throws him into the corner, where he kicks him in the ribs a few times, causing the former World Champion to slouch. Superstar then pulls Zack up out of the corner, and taunts the crowd before making his next move, and Zack reaches down and takes SS' legs out from under him! The crowd, knowing what Zack has planned, roars as Malibu looks out to them, and then catapults Superstar over, sending him face first into the top turnbuckle! Superstar staggers out of the corner, and Malibu kicks his foot up...SCHOOL'S OUT~!...NO~! The foot is caught by Superstar, and he spins Zack around, but Zack does a full rotation and uses the same leg to kick Superstar in the head with an enzuiguri! SS flops face first to the mat, and Malibu rolls him over for the first pin in the contest...for TWO~! Zack pulls his dazed opponent up, but Superstar grabs the waistband of Zack's tights and falls back, sending Zack through the middle ropes and out to the floor! COLE Superstar is buying himself some time to recover. CABOOSE Really, Michael Cole? I wasn't sure it was obvious, but you've driven the point home for the viewing audience. Thank you for your keen sense of observation. COACH Was that sarcasm, or irony? I get confused with those two. Zack gets up pretty quickly, but he's not up in time to prepare for Superstar's next move, which is a SOMERSAULT DIVE OVER THE TOP ONTO ZACK~! Superstar crushes Malibu with the high impact move, and fans throughout the arena pop for the tactic, as both men lay on the ringside floor. Superstar is up first, and he brings Zack to his feet as Malibu is struggling to get himself up. Superstar grabs him by the head and rams it into the ring apron, then hooks a front facelock. Superstar snaps Zack over, and Malibu's back slams against the hard, unforgiving concrete upon impact from the suplex. Superstar stands up, and then rakes the toe of his boot across Zack's eyes, adding insult to injury to the downed star. Zack rolls on the floor, as the referee hops out and orders Superstar back in, only to have SS simply brush him off. Supes reaches down and pulls Zack up, shoving him back into the ring under the bottom rope, and then hopping up on the apron. SS clutches the top rope, and uses it to propel himself into the ring, dropping down on Zack with a slingshot legdrop from the apron! Superstar covers Zack, and the referee makes the count...and Zack kicks out at TWO~! Shooting a look that shows he's unhappy with the way the official is doing his job, Superstar picks Zack up again, but before he can make his next move, Zack pulls his head down and smashes him with a jawbreaker~! Superstar turns away, holding his mouth, and Zack gets up, going right for him. Zack hits an elbow shot to the chin, then another, and then does a 360 degree rotation, using the ROARING ELBOW~!...BUT SUPERSTAR THROWS HIS ARMS UP TO BLOCK~! Superstar kicks Zack in the gut, and then hooks both arms for a butterfly suplex...but Zack backdrops his way out of it! Zack runs the ropes as Superstar is making his way up, and leaps up onto Supes' shoulders for a ‘rana, but gets flipped over back to the mat! Zack lands on his feet, but catches a kick to the ribs and gets SPIKED on a DDT by Superstar! Another cover made by Superstar... ...TWO AND 3/4 OF A COUNT! MALIBU GETS A SHOULDER UP AGAIN~! COLE You have to love the resiliency of Zack Malibu! CABOOSE He's not resilient, he's stubborn! He's bound to lose, so I say he should just succumb to the inevitable! Frustrated by his inability to pin his rival, Superstar gets up and waits on Zack's recovery. Knowing that the DDT had to have done some damage to his neck, Superstar takes another route in looking to defeat Zack, and stands behind him, locking him in a DRAGON SLEEPER~! COLE One of Zack's old trademarks, the California Dream! Superstar cinches the hold in, and Zack flails his arms, trying to get free anyway he can! He pushes up with his legs, sending Superstar off balance and into the corner, but Superstar doesn't break the hold! He turns out of the corner with Zack still locked in the sleeper, but Zack kicks off the turnbuckles, flipping over SS' shoulders, out of the move, and locking on a Dragon Sleeper of his own~! COACH He's got him now! COLE California Dream by Zack Malibu~! Superstar tries to find an out, much like Zack did, but he cannot, as Zack has him closer to the center of the ring! Zack holds on and tries to take Superstar to the mat with a body scissors, but Superstar keeps his legs stretched in a standing position, not letting Zack get enough room to bring him to the canvas. Superstar fires his left elbow into Zack's bread basket once...then again...and again...trying to phase him enough to loosen his grip. Zack tries to stand firm, but Superstar gets another elbow shot in, and then turns in so that he's facing Zack, and carries him over with a Northern Lights Suplex~! ONE! TWO! ...NO! Zack bridges out, keeping his arms locked around Superstar, and turning into a standing leg scissors, then POWERBOMBS Superstar to the canvas before collapsing! Both men are down, exhaustion truly setting in at this point. Candie pounds on the apron, urging the crowd to start their rally behind Zack, and many do. The referee begins a ten count, as both men are laying down on the mat, spent. "ONE!" "TWO!" Both men stay lying down, breathing fresh air into their system. "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" Zack moves slightly, shifting his body position. "SIX!" "SEVEN!" Zack sits up, and slowly pushes himself back up to his feet, breaking the ten count! He goes for Superstar, pulling him up, but SS is dead weight, and flops back down. Zack picks him up again...AND SUPERSTAR ROLLS HIM UP WITH A SMALL PACKAGE! SUPERSTAR WAS PLAYING POSSUM~! ONE...TWO...KICKOUT! KICKOUT BY ZACK! Both men get up, and when Superstar tries to make a move on Zack, Malibu sidesteps it and takes him to the mat with a drop toehold. Zack slides over him and grabs a headlock, pulling Superstar to his feet while kept in his grip. Superstar shoves Zack off, sending him crashing chest first into the top turnbuckle, and buying Superstar some time. SS charges in, but Zack tucks his head and backdrops Superstar over, but Supes holds on and lands on the apron! He reaches in and rams Zack face first into the turnbuckle, then climbs to the top, but Zack falls at the ropes, sending Supes off balance and crotching him on the top! Zack goes up top to retrieve SS, and looks for a superplex, but SS holds on, not letting Zack drop him with the move. Zack hammers on Superstars forehead with punches, trying to wear him down, and Superstar retaliates by shoving Zack off the top rope, crashing down throat first on the guardrail below! COACH YO~! Zack is DEAD on the floor, as Superstar stays perched on the top rope, resting himself. Candie comes over to Zack, who is motionless on the floor. Superstar wipes the sweat from his brow, and looks down at his fallen foe, then steps up onto the top turnbuckle slowly... COLE Oh no...NO... ...and LAUNCHES HIMSELF THROUGH THE AIR, CRUSHING ZACK MALIBU WITH A TOP ROPE SPLASH DOWN ON THE FLOOR~! COACH YO~! CABOOSE He's done! He's done! COLE They're BOTH done! Look at Superstar favoring the ribs! Superstar is also on the floor, curled into a fetal position and holding his ribs, having either bruised or broken them on that suicide dive. The split screen replay shows Candie jumping backwards in the nick of time, as she was nearly a casualty of the Jimmy Snuka style leap from the top rope. Superstar tries to sit up against the side of the ring, but rolls over again, still favoring the ribs. Candie tends to Zack in the meantime, as the match has come to a standstill while the two recover. COACH All Supes would have to do is get Zack in the ring, but with his ribs still reeling from that splash, it's gonna hurt just to take a breath! Several moments go by, until Superstar finally is able to get up on his feet under his own power. He walks over to Malibu, who is laying down but still moving, and takes Candie by the hair, pulling her to her feet and then shoving her backwards, right into announcer Michael Buffer! CABOOSE Haha! I love it! With the crowd booing the tactic, Superstar reaches down and pulls Zack up to his feet, taking his face and ramming it into the ring apron, causing Zack to fall to his knees. Superstar slowly stalks him, picking him up again and ramming his face into the apron. COLE It's almost like he's toying with him! CABOOSE And why shouldn't he? Malibu can't walk out of here a winner! Superstar keeps on Zack, lurking above him, but when he tries to ram Zack's head into the apron again, Zack puts his hand out to block the move, and instead it's Superstar who gets his face mashed! Zack relaxes for a few short seconds, and then takes Superstar by the arm, sending him crashing into the ringsteps and knocking them off balance! COLE He's done, huh? Zack's buying himself some time right now, and that's all he needs to do. Zack makes his way over to Superstar and the toppled steps, prying the top part away from the ring. Malibu waits on Superstar with the stairs in his grasp, and as soon as Superstar gets to his feet, he's knocked back on his ass, courtesy of a steel stair shot by Zack Malibu! CABOOSE That's cheating! DQ him, ref! COACH Dude, DQ's are sooooo '92 WCW. Get with the times, brah! CABOOSE Did you just call me a piece of underwear? Superstar pulls himself up via the apron, bleeding from a cut that has opened on his forehead thanks to the steel stairs. Malibu tosses them aside, and grabs Superstar, pulling him back away from the guardrail, and then sending him into it head and shoulder first! COLE We knew this would get personal. I think the term "Scientific Clinic" can be replaced with "Fight to the Death"! Standing over Superstar, Zack pulls him up, and then drags him over to the ring, tossing him back in. Zack jumps up on the apron, and then up on the top rope, as he awaits Superstar’s recovery. SS finally pushes himself up to his feet, but then turns around to catch two feet to the mush, as Zack soars from the top rope, nailing Superstar with a picture perfect missile dropkick! Superstar tumbles back to the mat and Zack rolls him onto his back, hooking a leg for the pin... ONE! TWO! THR...NO! KICKOUT BY SS! Zack rises up again and bends down to pick Superstar up. He gets SS into a sitting position, before Supes, out of nowhere, reaches up and grabs Malibu by the waist and pulls him right into a swift uppercut to the jewels! *CHING!* “OOOOOH!” COACH What the hell is that? Superstar BLATANTLY hit a low blow on Zack in front of the ref! Where’s the DQ? CABOOSE And where’s the Spam®? I mean, really, Coach, you can’t get everything you want. Needless to say, Malibu drops to his knees, holding his precious region. As fast as he can, Superstar leaps onto Zack’s back and wraps in a tight chinlock, before falling backwards to execute a rear naked choke! Superstar wrenches back on the hold, and then wraps his legs around Malibu’s body, using the scissors to slow down the air flow. COLE A bit of a break from the action here, but this is smart wrestling by Superstar. Not only is it slowing down the Zack Attack, but it’s allowing him to catch his breath and breathe easier through those bruised ribs. CABOOSE ‘Zack Attack’? Do you ALWAYS call him that?! As Superstar cinches in on the choke, the Denver crowd gets louder and louder. Clapping and stomping commences, as every single fan in the Pepsi Arena tries to rally behind Zack, and fuel his fire to come back. “LET’S – GO – ZACK!” “LET’S – GO – ZACK!” Malibu is able to turn onto his side, and he reaches towards the nearest rope, which he is just inches from. As the decibel level in the arena reaches a fevered pitch, Superstar tries to pull Zack’s arm back as he gets closer…but he can’t, and Zack reaches the bottom rope, forcing Superstar to break the hold! The volcano of a crowd erupts as SS releases the choke, but once he stands up, he immediately starts stomping on Malibu. Supes brings him to his feet and sends two hard elbows right into Zack’s jaw. With the prep dazed, Superstar grabs his arm and whips him towards the opposite corner, which Malibu hits head on. As he comes back, SS scoops him up onto his shoulder, signaling for the Star Power! He locks his hands in a cradle around Malibu’s leg, but Zack is able to push Superstar back into the corner, and when they reach it, Malibu places his feet on the turnbuckle, wraps his arm around Superstar’s neck and flips forward, bringing Superstar down into a DIAMOND DUST!! COACH Holy mother of god! COLE Sweet lamb of mercy! CABOOSE … The crowd roars as Zack falls on top of the stunned Superstar, pinning him down to the mat! ONE! TWOOOOO! THREE! …NO! Superstar shoots his shoulder up just in time to break the count. The former stable mates are slow to get up, however, recovering in opposite corners. They reach their feet at the same time, and like bulls, charge out at each other. Malibu rushes with a clothesline, but Superstar ducks his arm and stands behind him, wrapping his arm around his neck in another tight choke! However, this time Zack is ready and he shoots his legs forward, sitting out and smashing Supes’ jaw against Malibu’s head! Superstar drops back stunned, as Zack gets up and shoots his legs out, connecting with a Superkick…right to Supes’ ribs! COACH Unbelievable! Zack hits a School’s Out right into Superstar’s injured ribs! Perfect strategy! CABOOSE Hey, I’ll admit, smart move by the dumb prep. Is there anything else in that bag of tricks? Superstar collapses to the mat and hollers in pain, while Malibu drops down and covers him again! ONE! TWO! …THREEEEEEEEENOOOOOOOO!! KICKOUT! Superstar barely rolls off of his shoulder this time, coming with in nanoseconds of being pinned by his arch rival. He quickly rolls out of the ring, and away from his adversary. After regaining his bearings he grabs a chair, and slides back into the ring. He raises the chair above his head, ready to bring it down across the rising Zack’s head…but the referee grabs the chair away! Supes stares at the ref, shocked, but once he turns around he smiles, and punts his foot right between Zack’s legs! *CHING!* “OOOOOH!” Before Malibu can even react to the nutshot, Superstar spins around and swings his left leg, nailing a perfect Thai Roundhouse Kick on Zack, dropping him to the mat! CABOOSE It was all part of the plan…and I love it! Superstar is a GENIUS in that ring! COLE C’mon, Boose, it’s like the only way Superstar can get ahead is by touching testicles! COACH He shoots, he scores! SS doesn’t go for the pin, but instead lifts Malibu up and places him in a standing headscissors. He then twists Zack around so the two men are standing back to back, and from there, he drops down, pushing Malibu over and spiking his head onto the mat with his version of the backslide, the Battleflag! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOO! Zack rolls through off of his shoulders! He gets right to his feet and hits a lariat that knocks Supes down as quickly as he had gotten up! Zack falls on top for the pin... ONE! TWO! THR...NO! KICKOUT BY SUPERSTAR! COLE ANOTHER close call in this contest! COACH These guys, they may not be equals in mindset, or where their loyalty lays, but they are definitly proving to be equals in the ring! Zack pulls Superstar up, but Superstar is quick to hook Zack's arms, trying for another Battleflag backslide! Zack tries to keep his balance and pull SS over with his OWN backslide, but SS gets the strength advantage this time, and pulls Zack over...but Zack floats ALL THE WAY OVER, and onto his feet in front of Superstar! He quickly grabs a facelock, then reaches down and cradles Superstar's leg...POP DROP~!...NO~! SUPERSTAR COUNTERS WITH A SMALL PACKAGE~! ONE! TWO! THREE~! NO~! NO~! MALIBU KICKS OUT OF THE PIN ATTEMPT~! COLE Folks, if you have a heart condition, you may want to stop watching this match right now. Both men get to their feet, and out of desperation, Zack tries another SCHOOL'S OUT, this time of the normal variety, but Superstar grabs the leg, again spinning Zack around, causing him to walk into Supes' own School's Out...NO~! Zack grabs his leg to block, and Superstar jumps up, kicking out with his other leg and an ENZUGIRI~!, BUT ZACK DUCKS THAT AND SUPERSTAR SLAMS FACEFIRST ONTO THE MAT! Malibu grabs SS by the waist and pulls him up, carrying him up from the canvas and overhead, drilling his head and neck into the mat with a GERMAN SUPLEX~! Zack bridges out, holding SS down for the pin... ...but Superstar reaches out and grabs the bottom rope just before the three count! The referee orders Zack to break the pin, and Zack thinks that the ref is telling him he won! When the ref explains that SS managed to get the ropes, Zack turns towards him, but catches a kick to his ribs as Superstar pulls himself up with the ropes! Superstar climbs up onto the second rope, then jumps off, grabbing Zack by the head and trying for a TORNADO DDT~!, but Zack catches him and drops him across his leg with an inverted atomic drop~! Superstar keels over, and Zack props himself up on the second rope, and uses the same move Superstar just went for against him, as he spins around in the air before SPIKING Supes' head into the canvas with his own Tornado DDT~! Zack covers him, and pulls his leg back, keeping it hooked, as the referee goes down for the count for what seems like the millionth time this match! ONE! TWO! THRE...NO! NO! ANOTHER NEAR FALL! SUPERSTAR GETS A SHOULDER UP IN THE NICK OF TIME! Shocked, Zack looks up at the ref, saying "Come on!", thinking that that was a sure three count. As he reaches for Superstar, SS darts behind him and rolls him up with a schoolboy, and pulls back on the tights for good measure! The referee cannot see the blatant cheating, but Zack's shoulders are down... ...AND HE IS *STILL* ABLE TO KICK OUT~! COLE Haha, I bet Supes' is kicking himself right now. COACH If he's not, Zack will be, hahaha! CABOOSE You guys are the epitome of suck. Superstar uses a go behind as Zack is getting up, and tries to carry him over with a waistlock takedown, but Zack fires an elbow back to block. Superstar reels, but hits an elbow to the back of Zack's neck, and then lifts him for a back suplex, spinning him out into a sitout powerbomb...BUT ZACK COUNTERS WITH A HURACANRANA~! Superstar spills to the mat, as Zack catches himself, falling to one knee. He gets up, and as Superstar is coming, he spins into a ROARING ELBOW~!, knocking Superstar silly~! SS falls to the mat, and Zack goes for the pin AGAIN! ONE~! TWO~! THREE~! NO~! NO~! NO~! KICKOUT AT TWO AND 3/4 BY SUPERSTAR~! COLE These guys are superhuman! COACH Whoa, I wonder what Zack's powers are. CABOOSE You know Coach, you should be a superhero. They can call you The Drone, and you can just talk talk talk until people die of boredom. Yet again, Zack attempts to pull Superstar to his feet, but he gets lifted up by his legs and DROPPED with a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER~! Superstar falls back in exhaustion, as both men again need a rest after going all out in this contest. Superstar goes and leans in the corner, waiting on Malibu to recover from the impact of the spinebuster. Zack starts to get up, and SS bolts out of the corner, kicking Zack right in the fact as he does! Supes' pulls Malibu by the hair, standing him up straight, and goes for a spinning back fist, but Zack ducks it, and hooks SS with a waistlock! Malibu carries SS over, but SS flips over and lands on his feet behind Zack, grabbing him in a waistlock and running him towards the ropes! SS rolls Zack up, and reaches out and grabs the ropes! The referee is down on the mat and cannot see, and SS uses this to his advantage, as the referee makes the count! ONE~! TWO~! THREE~! COLE NO! COME ON! CABOOSE HA! There's your hero, Cole. Defeated! BUFFER The winner of this contest...THE SUUUUUUUUUPAH-STAH~! SS gets the HELL out of Dodge, ducking out of the ring as soon as the bell rang and backing up the aisle. Zack gets to his knees, and mouths an obscenity, as Superstar gloats all the way up the aisle. COLE Let's take a look at this. Malibu ducks the move by SS, and uses a go behind. Superstar reverses, into a rollup...and RIGHT THERE you see it, he held onto the ropes the whole time he had him pinned! Zack Malibu was robbed! CABOOSE Robbed nothing. Zack had it coming. Plus, these guys just went balls out for twenty minutes, and they've STILL got to compete in the Rumble later on. Superstar needed to buy himself some time, and Zack should be grateful that Superstar put him out of his misery this early! COACH It's just not fair. CABOOSE Well thank you for that in depth viewpoint, Jonathan.

Frigid, if you're looking for a challenge in bringing one brand to glory, I'd suggest going over to IZ.