A Happy Medium

"Last Dance" by Tom Petty and "Black Hole Sun" from Soundgarden

"Just One of The Guys" ...Johnny from the Karate Kid (Billy Zabka) was the villian, and very much in his prime. "Airborne" was just so freaking awesome. Jack Black saves the surfer dude turned Cinci Skate Punk, and winds up getting his junk smashed on a tree. It was one of those movies that was always on in the summer time, on HBO, at eleven o'clock in the morning.

This is what I was about to say. The main problem is that the last team didn't have a pass-first point guard, hell, a playmaking point guard at all, a pure shooter, and an intimidating inside force. This is my team for 2006 and 2008. Kobe "Mamba" Bryant Lebron James Michael Redd Kirk Hinrich Bobby Simmons Ben Wallace Brad Miller Josh Howard Dwayne Wade Elton Brand Rasheed Wallace Robert Horry Rasheed is on the team to be our new Barkley. Redd is a shooting machine. Hinrich is a scrappy defender who likes to pass first. Brad Miller is the center who can spot up. And, of course, Horry is the guy who will make clutch shots if they need to be made.

This is Arch Griffon/Munich, or Munarch, and I have a serious question for all of you. Should I come back? I mean, I realize I have a habit of disappearing and taking losses very hard (then again, why not get upset at losing after typing for a few hours, developing terrible ass-sweat, smoking enough cigarettes to belch smoke, and of course, find spots that are cool, not contrived, and follow the flow of the match). On the other hand, I don't suck and I can tell you folks some good stories about this place, as I am going on twenty-one, but joined when I was going on sixteen. All of us retired vets have that itch to come back. Right now, it is right between my shoulder blades. Pros: I don't suck...watched a Misawa/Kobashi match. I don't suck. Cons: I have ten credit hours of school coming, along with responsibilities as the sports editor of my school newspaper, which keeps me preoccupied quite a bit. I have a habit of being reliable, getting in place for title shots...then flaking out like a JL jobber...especially on tag team partners..sorry Manson. Do you guys think that I could operate on a one show, or two show every two weeks type schedule?

Apparently, either there are not sanctions imposed on Iran, or we have to pay even more to fill up our automobiles. Don't they realize that if they don't sell to us, they don't make any money, and it will just cause our government to get off of it's ass and give us alternatives to petro? I think we should sanction them, take this whole "got you by the balls!" thing, and turn it around on them by grabbing them by the balls, since they'll miss their cash-cow. In the end, I think it's all about money anyways. I may be very wrong about this, but eh.

OOC: I used to be better at matches than promos. I rely on humor (hopefully good) to make my promos readable. Enjoy. Promo: “Whatever happened to Archibald Griffon?” “And we’re back, SWF fanatics! Just reminders … our sponsors for this show are the great people at the Scooter Store. Crippled? Morbidly obese? Or, are you just plain old? Call the Scooter Store today and return to your prior mobility, with no cost to you!” says Ben Hardy, host of the obscure SWF Total Livewire Unlimited show that runs at two o’clock in the morning on certain network affiliates. “I’m here with the former SJL lower card specialist The Lost Soul. Soul, it is great to have you with us today,” says Hardy. “It is great to be here. I…” Soul is cut-off. “So how is that eating disorder going, Soul? Our keen viewers of this program perhaps remember you as the seven-foot, four inch, two hundred pound monster! I believe the Exploding Chicken once labeled you as “tall, dark, and lanky,” says Hardy. “I only weigh one hundred and ninety pounds now. I do not have an eating disorder. I love being a vegan. I am free of the machine, and I can fit into tight spaces!” exclaims Soul. “On the topic of vegans; it has been criticized by the possibility that followers of the lifestyle have vitamin deficiencies. Have you felt any of this?” Hardy asks. “Just a deficiency of iron, protein, calcium, DHA, iodine, and intelligence,” says Soul with a tired grin on his skinny face. “Okay….well; let’s take a call from one of our viewers. Welcome to the show, John Doe from Denver. A familiar voice crackles into the television. The man sounds much like SWF wrestler Manson. “Ben. Whatever happened to Archie Griffon? I tried to get him to com – I mean, I heard he was suspended,” says the voice. “That is a great question. Ironically enough, our amazing production staff has put together a re-enactment starring Chuck Norris as Arch Griffon. Unfortunately, Chuck did not shave off his beard for this role, as he threatened the entire SWF office in Cleveland with roundhouse kicks. The role of Tom Flesher is played by the veteran Brian Cox. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this re-enactment,” says Ben Hardy. The image of the modest studio with its two hosts fades away into a screen of black. The screen comes back to life with the image of…Delle Alpi Stadium in Torino, Italy? The arena is the home of Juventus, a tremendous soccer based out of the Alps. The field is already set up, and in the middle of it stands two men. Both men stretch to fit the characters, and look very lost in the arena. They are so lost that they only way to tell the folks who they are is that Norris wears an Arch Griffon t-shirt, while Cox wears a Tom Flesher t-shirt. The date July 12, 2005 flashes onto the screen. “Arch, I’m going to go to my office for a few minutes. I want you to stay here and observe the stadium. We have a big show tomorrow. Don’t uhm…roundhouse kick anybody or else you are suspended indefinitely” says Flesher with absolutely no conviction in his voice. “Sure thing,” says Griffon, his eyes focused on something, somewhere in the distance. Flesher limps off and leaves Griffon on the pitch. Just as Flesher leaves, evil ninjas repel down from the top of the open-air stadium. It’s hard to tell that they are evil, as their outfits are in pastel green. They quickly creep up on the unsuspecting Griffon, who is smoking a cigarette, and still staring off into his special place. The small group of four ninjas creeps up on Griffon from behind. Finally, one ninja attacks Arch from behind. The masked evil-doer goes for a spinning back kick on the slimmed down version of Archie. However, the bearded Griffon ducks out of the way, and comes back at the ninja with a roundhouse kick that shatters the window of the press boxes nearby (no, really, the roundhouse kicks does that much). The ninja has no chance as his head is knocked clean off and flies passed the remaining three ninjas and goes through the goal, forcing the netting to come off the bars and ground and fly through a few rows. The goal posts and crossbar somehow fly high into the air above the stadium, and then come plummeting back down to earth. A shell-shocked ninja is not a fair match for the crossbar, is the bar comes down and drives him down into the turf, taking him out of picture. Only two ninjas remain. Griffon turns back towards the ninjas. “Pardon?” he asks. “I’ll take him!” says one of the ninjas. The voice is that of a female. The other green ninja takes a step and lets his ninja teammate do as she pleases. Before she can do anything, Arch points a finger at her and says, “booyah!” Her legs turn to jelly and she collapses to the ground in an unconscious orgasmic bliss. “That was my girlfriend! You die now!” yells the final ninja as he comes forward towards Griffon. Archie hits him in the face with a straight right and knocks the man unconscious. The battle looks to be over, until Archie stares at a point behind the camera, where a man can definitely be heard screaming. “Damnit, Chuck! You did nothing that Griffon did. Quick piledriver the kid and lets get this over with!” screams what could be the director. Quickly, Griffon picks up the last ninja and cradle piledrives him into the turf. An audible snap is heard. “Chuck! Great! You just broke the kid’s neck! Good thing he signed that waiver,” says the director, sounding like his hair is falling out. “GGGRRIFFFONN!!” yells Commissioner Flesher after seeing the destruction that Griffon caused. “You are suspended!” Griffon gives him an awe shucks look as we fade to black. We then return to the original studio. “I hope that answered your question, John,” says Hardy. “No. No, it didn’t,” replies Manson. <FADE TO BLACK>

Seperate threads would be good for more activity, for a while. Hawke still holds the International title? Wow. Good work, man.

What's funny is that is that his major and my major are much the same. We both want to be sports writers. I would like to think that I am much less hot-headed than he is. He would be great on Around The Horn though. I mean, can you imagine him snarling at Woody Paige for twenty minutes? That would bring great ratings.

Arch Griffon...inactive... still suspended from the world tour....I think he gave a Cardinal an Arch Nemesis through a table. Hrm...promo...

My godmother doesn't share any blood with me. She has just been my mother's best friend for, shit...forty years. She's awesome though. I know that if for some odd reason my immediate family was slaughtered, I would be welcome to move in. She's the cool aunt I never had. My godfather is my cousin who has thirty years on me. Lets just say my dad was 45 when I was born and he was the baby in his family. He's alright. He chain smokes, runs a Cracker Barrel, and is a big John Wayne fan. I don't know if I will want my children to have godparents. I don't know if I can give the title to anybody at the moment, because the idea of a godparent means something to me. Besides, I'm sure I'll fuck up and marry a girl that embellished before the wedding, and winds up not sharing any of my values. The last straw will be if she doesn't let me name our first son Ed, or if she has the parenting skills of a scarecrow.

...then Chuck Norris will replenish the entire human population with a single ejaculation of his semen. Beard rides will be very popular shortly thereafter.

Back in, I believe, 1994, a series of asteroids collided with Jupiter, some many times bigger than earth itself. Jupiter is a beast. I wouldn't worry about anything happening to it. Funny. Jupiter acts as a shield on our planet. If it weren't for the big orange machine being where it is, our planet wouldn't be able to sustain constant life. Jupiter has our back.

K-Os was a very good writer. I, unfortunately, am not him. I was Munich and Arch Griffon.

Second from the bottom! Fuck yeah!

Merry Christmas, everybody, even though this is belated. I was out of town for a week in Ft. Lauderdale for Christmas. Sarah andPete....wow, old school. The Alliance vs. XF9 and stuff!

The whole emo thing has been big in this part of Texas for about three years now, just gauging from my latter high school days. It's country music for the kids who don't like whiskey and chew. At least they give us a lot of material to make fun of them with, the boys starving themselves, wearing girls pants and being straight edge, and the girls wearing the punk rock belts, being vegan, and acting like this makes them healthy. Let us not forget their yearning for going to "vintage" shops to buy t-shirts for ten bucks that they could get from actual thrift stores for fifty cents. They try to be intellectual and above conformists, but they all conform to the same uniform. All I can say is that going to a Dashboard Confessional concert is frightening. I mean, thousands of insecure girls crying along with the lyrics....wow.

South Park did it!

house keys, car keys, library card, CVS card (helped me get KY jelly at two dollars off), novelty keychain with a skull on it, and a bottle opener with my community college name on it

I too have seen the movie, and it is awesome. The witch is badass, and I agree that Swinton should be up for an oscar for being such an awesome villian. Lets just say that the dual wielding centaur (?) is a badass. Oh and griffons dropping boulders is nice. C.S. Lewis does drop a lot of religious overtones in this, but it's cool. A beautiful movie.

I saw Narnia Friday night with a few friends and I was impressed. I had been looking forward to it for a long time, as I have memories of greatly enjoying the animated movie when I was a kid. The children play their roles well, and communicate very well with all of the animated creatures. The movie drags in some places, and you can't help but make Team America jokes at some parts, especially when the children learn to use their weapons. However, the war scene is just about as good as it can be for a PG movie. We are talking about griffons flying around and dropping boulders on ogors. It was a good two and a half hours.

What about a yeti?

Yes.

Fantastic Office episode tonight. I can't quote it because you guys already took the great quotes from me.

That's Bill Parcells. He's so hot right now.

All it takes is a bag of billiard balls to the knee to take down a hoss like Dama. I think someone once mentioned this to the resident hoss of a while ago. BTW, Dama...enjoy the snow tomorrow. You strike me as one of those southerners who takes snow and ice on the roads as a signal to speed up in your pick-up truck. Tell me I am wrong, fellow sports journalist.