Special K

How do you top a car? Tep on the brake, tupid.

Man, before I die? I'm gonna fuck me a fish. Iran-Contra was pretty fucking awful. How the FUCK did they get away with that one? There's one thing, with all the 'I don't recall' stuff: was Reagan just acting the sweet old man part? Or was he already suffering from Alzheimer's while his underlings did everything? I wonder if the story about Bush's campaign calling voters in southern states and telling people McCain had an illegitemate black baby is true. It's not really US government, but I'm sure there's some really interesting dirty campaign stories we haven't heard about. An Eskimo was driving about when his truck broke down. He had to call a tow truck to haul it to through the snowy roads to the nearest town. He waited outside in the cold as the mechanic checked out his vehicle. Finally the mechanic emerged. He said "Well, it looks like you just blew a seal." The Eskimo laughed: "Oh, no, no. That's just frost in my moustache. Are you getting these terrible shaggy-dog stories from somewhere, Czech?

Carrot top approves of these jokes. To show his appreciation, he shall now pull down his pants.

ManOwar cracks me the fuck up. BadASS. The guy on the right looks like Stifler.

And I really want to play that game. Although, in the Seattle times, I've only beaten a Saturday Sudoku once.

*Boner*

Ok, that's probably the best example. From awesome show and national obsession to terrible and cancelled in one season.

Season three is the best, but Season 4 was still funny as hell. Must admit I haven't seen 5 yet. Crayzee Eyez Killa and the one with the nativity scene are probably tops with me. "How could you eat the baby Jesus?" "I thought he was a monkey!" "Our Lord and savior is not a monkey, Larry."

Oz never really went bad, but it definitely took a big drop when Adebisi died. It eliminated one of the three most important plotlines, Being: Adebisi v Said Beecher v Schillinger v Keller Ryan O' Reilly and they didn't really have much else with which to fill it up.

Well, I don't get the network. However, I follow the NFL fanatically and there's really only so much news/analysis you can do in the offseason, after the draft.

I've heard Entourage got way better 2nd season. Is that true? Because I watched the first few episodes and hated it. As in Ebert Hated Hated Hated it. Hated every character (except Piven) Hated every lame attempt at a joke. Hated the assumption that watching a bunch of neuveau riche kids is inherently really funny.

He threw barrels at an Italian plumber. I think that qualifies for taking liberties int he ring.

Blasphemy. Or at least I still loved season 4. King of the Hill has always been the worst fucking show in the world. Texans LOVE it though. And the OC was so terrible that I couldn't even watch through the first episode on DVD. That is the most faggoty emo show I have ever seen. *Looks at ground* *Looks at girl* *Looks at ground* *Looks at girl, tentative half-smile* KEANE or DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL or SOME TERRIBLE BAND BLARES through the WHOLE fucking scene.

Fuck.... which one is Slayers Great? I've seen all things Slayers. Next and the first series are the best. The movies all have parts that are gold, well except maybe the first one. The very first episode of the Slayers OVA is fucking GOLD, though. The best thing Slayers. The ear-stabbings still crack me up (you'll know when you see it)

The Harmonix games rule. I like rhythm games and rule at them, in general. Well, besides Parappa the button-masher. IN-THE-RAIN-OR-IN-THE-SNOW-I-GOT-THE-FUNKY-FLOW The hardest rhythm game by far is Cool Cool Tunes for Dreamcast, import only. Well, that I've played. Shit, I'm sure Dance Dance can be worse, if given time. Most fun? Guitar Hero and Samba De Amigo.

Miami Vice jumped the shark when crockett got amnesia and believed he was Sonny Burnett. Wait, fuck it. That show always ruled.

More than anything, it reminds me of Chris Cunnimngham.

Alias was bubble-gum fun for two seasons, and quickly started to tank. Drew Carey was a pretty good sitcom that suddenly became a gimmick-athon. Buffy went from great (s1-3) to good (4-5) to bad (6-7) Seinfeld really lost steam once Larry David left. I'm afraid it took very little time with season 2 of Lost and all the filler for me to stop watching it, after loving season 1. Family Guy was pretty darn funny until it was cancelled. Now I can't stand it.

If you can't see a steady decline in the quality, and even moreso the creativity, of movies in the last few years, you're friggin' blind. On the plus side, reality shows aside, TV's been putting out some great stuff.

Yeah, I went and saw that movie exclusively because of the massive, massive hype and positivity it got. Just checked it out on RT, it got 85%. That's crazy for a nerdy, dirty comedy. I love that movie. I'm hoping that the Clerks II trailers suck because they can't show any of the good parts. And while I'd say Clerks is his best, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, and even Dogma and J&SB have their good parts. I mean, come one! Banky! With J&SB, I thought it was pretty funny the first time, but I don't think I could handle a second. A little Jay goes a long way.

I know everyone will disagree with this, but I rather liked the Bouncer. Decent rental. I beat it with two of the 3 characters, and then was sick of it. I think if they could pull off something like Dead to Rights or the Punisher (the new one) with two player, it would be great. There were a couple neat quasi beat-'em-ups in the arcades two, Dynamite Cop and, some zombie beat-'em-up.

OMG raycism Beat that white bitch!

Actually, IIRC, Foley was in the Shammy's Ankle Lock and put himself in the Mandible Claw so that he WOULDN'T submit, but would rather pass out. Cool finish.

Alien Vs. Predator is tops for me. Battle Circuit, Streets of Rage 2, Punisher and Turtles in Time (no part. order) would round out my top 5. Capcom made a ton of great quarter-munchers, though. The D&D ones were massive, there's Captain Commando, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs, and of course Final Fight. Also, X-Men has a special place in my heart, not that it was really a great game but because you could play with 5 friends at the same time.

I nominate two: Booker T: Hungry Meals: His dreamy "mash potatoes, fried chicken CORRRRRRRRN and puddin'" was a masterpiece. Guy looked like he was going to come in his pants, and have no regrets. It's the buffer-esque CORRRRRRN that wins it , though. Brock Lesnar: Pretty much the ugliest man on earth. For some video game. Torrie Wilson comes up to him with a come-hither stare at the albino rhino. "Hey Brock, wanna play?" Cut *Brock has eatten Torrie Wilson* *Holds up panties, best line reading ever, with a disgusting leer, chunks of Torrie probably still in his teeth:* i WIN!