Longdogger_Pete

“Welcome back to San Diego Cal-e-for-nigh-ay!!!” beams William Hearford, as SJL Wrath returns back onto the screen, with the announce team poised. Hearford seems surprisingly happy, although it seems slightly false. Ejiro of course is looking more than despondent, after what happened on Lockdown. Annie meanwhile, is her usual self…“Or, for those of you who speak English…California. Forget 619, because all I want is six…tee…nine.” she adds with a clear smile on her face. In the background, the fans are going crazy…especially behind the announce table, where the few select fans can see themselves on screen…one of them deciding to hold up a ‘ALL MAN BUT THE MADDIX’ sign. “Lovely Annie.” Judge begins. “Well, we have heard from Landon Maddix already tonight, and we all know what’s coming next. Jacob Helmsley taking on the new SJL European Champion, non title however. And, just to add to the fun…tonight, it’s a tables match. Ejiro?” “Err…yeah. Just a quick memo first. Apparently, we have to say Happy Birthday to…Mitch…Von Siclen? Happy birthday Mitch…whoever you are, wherever you are. And, yeah…Landon’s great.” Judge laughs at Ejiro’s blatant fake ignorance, as Annie quickly speaks up…“Is that all you can say? No beaming praise, no Todd mentions? No casting aspersions on Helmsley’s ability?” “Blow me.” is Ejiro’s answer, clearly not in the mood tonight. “Ahem…” Judge tries to regain the ball. “…anyway, Tables Match up-coming. Can Landon cope with the psychotic Helmsley with no DQ’s? Let’s send it up…to ringside.” In the ring, ring announcer Funyon stands beside the referee for this evening’s match Ced Ordonez…but getting his cue, he instantly steps forward and into the spotlight. “Ladies and gentlemen, this following contest…IS A TABLES MATCH!!!” The crowd pop, as Funyon nods knowingly. “Introducing first…” "An' I'm sailin'...yeah!" "BOOOOO!!!" The arena suddenly fills with deafening boos as "Suck My Kiss" begins to play, heralding the arrival of the new European Champion. Bursting through the curtain, Maddix stops with a big grin on his face, and raises his European Title belt high above his head. The boos in turn increase, as the white Todd-like spotlight falls upon the belt holding Landon...who is still wearing the Todd Royal shirt. "From Huron South Dakota. He weighs in at two hundred and six pounds...He is the NEW SJL European Champion. The Disciple of Todd. LANDON...'LA CUCARACHA'...MAAADDIIIX!!!" Landon walks towards the ring, belt sitting proudly over his shoulder as the crowd nearest the aisle hurl their abuse. Ignoring it, Maddix continues walking down the aisle, jumping up to the apron as he gets to the ring...just at the right time to sing along... "Hit me you can't hurt me... SUCK MY KISS!" ...before entering the ring. Again proudly raising the belt in the air again, Landon grins at the abuse he's getting. "There stands the true champion of the SJL. Soon enough, he'll be holding two belts...mark my words." predicts Ejiro. "Well, that's yet to be seen..." starts Judge... "Yeah, because Landon's being held away from his shot. But when he gets that shot...new champion, mark my words." "We'll see..." "Mark my words." Handing his belt to the outside and removing his Todd Royal shirt, Maddix begins warming up in one corner of the ring...as “Meaning of Life” by Disturbed hits. The crowd surprisingly begin to cheer, as Jacob Helmsley walks into the arena. Showing no emotion, Helmsley walks intimidatingly down the aisle, eyes locked on Landon. "And the opponent. From the wrestling capital of the world, Calgary Alberta Canada. Weighing two hundred twenty seven pounds. This is JACOB...HEEELLLMSLLLEEEYYY!!!" Helmsley stops at the foot of the aisleway, taking off his black, initialed trenchcoat. Reaching to his side, he then pulls the trusty steel pipe from it's holster and places it on the ring apron. In the ring Landon continues to try and prepare himself for the match...as Helmsley grins slightly at him. Taking a step forward, Helmsley begins to climb onto the ring apron...but stops, and drops back down to the floor. Landon looks confused...until Helmsley throws the ring apron up, and dragging from under the ring a table! "I guess Jacob has set his intentions early!" Annie beams, clearly excited at the prospect of hardcore action. As Helmsley begins to set the table up on the floor, a frantic Landon tries to convince him to put the table back. Helmsley however just continues setting up the table, all the while Landon pleading with him from the ring. As Jacob finally rolls into the ring, Landon starts to back away, looking around for an escape...the bell ringing behind him not helping his panic. "This one is underway...and I think Maddix is wishing he was somewhere else right now." comments Judge "Yeah, like The Moon." adds Annie With nowhere to run, Landon begins to try to reason with Helmsley. However, Jacob just glares in Landon’s direction and takes menacing step after menacing step in the European Champion’s direction. For each step he takes, Landon takes a nervous retreating one back…until he suddenly finds himself with his back to the ropes. Seeing this Helmsley smiles, and breaks into a run…but at the last moment before Jacob connects, Landon uses the ropes for leverage to raise both his feet into Helmsley’s face! “Ha ha! Landon wasn’t scared at all!” Ejiro laughs. Helmsley staggers back a couple of steps, as a suddenly cocky Maddix runs forward looking for a clothesline…only for Helmsley to duck under the outstretched right arm. A shocked Maddix turns on his feet and charges again. Jacob sees him coming though, and ducking again Jacob manages to flip Maddix up and over the top rope and to the floor with a back body drop! SMACK!!! Landon bounces off the concrete floor off the concrete with a sickening thud, as Helmsley quickly rolls out of the ring to continue the onslaught. Maddix tries to get to his feet, the fall having knocked the wind out of him. Jacob drives a boot into the side of Landon’s head which puts him back down. Turning towards the announce table, Helmsley laughs sadistically to himself, as the crowd sense what he's planning and cheer to show their approval. "He's not...no, he's not thinking of putting Landon through our table, is he?" Judge questions nervously. "WHAT!?! No, please no...you realise, if this breaks, it comes out of our paycheck!" Ejiro adds slightly more nervously. Grabbing Landon by the hair, Jacob begins to haul the European Champion up to his feet. He fires a right hand to the defenseless Maddix, before tossing him forwards and into the announce table, as the SWF trio of announcers begin to collect their papers up ready for a hasty escape. Jacob quickly hops up onto the announce table, and seeing this the fans rise to their feet. As a buzz fills the San Diego Sports Arena, Helmsley reaches down for Maddix trying to pull him up... ...BUT GETS A LOWBLOW!!! "Lowblow! Maddix with a perfectly legal lowblow!" shouts Judge. Landon quickly clambers up onto his knees on the announce table. Seeing Helmsley beginning to recover, Landon throws his arm upwards into the groin of Helmsley again, before using his doubled over frame to get to his feet. With Helmsley gasping for breath, Maddix turns around to the crowd on his right, and raises his arms in the air cockily to the response of rapturous boos. As Maddix stands soaking up the boos, suddenly Helmsley reaches up and nails him with a right hand to the gut! Landon doubles over from the pain, allowing Helmsley to nail an uppercut. "This is a damn brawl directly above us." Annie exclaims. "And all it's going to take is one simple move, and somebody's going through a table." comments Judge. Landon staggers back to the edge of the announce table, as Helmsley gets back to his feet also. Again Helmsley nails a right hand, which sends Maddix even closer to falling off the table...but somehow he manages to keep his balance. Again Jacob winds up...but, takes too long, allowing Maddix to hit a boot to the gut. Maddix hits a right hand of his own, as the match slowly degenerates into a slugfest. Maddix continues with the right hands, slowly but surely weakening Helmsley...but only momentarily, as he suddenly launches forward... ...SPEARING MADDIX OFF THE TABLE!!! Both men crash to the floor hard, but Helmsley is able to break his fall and immediately fire away with mounted right hands. "Good god...a spear from the table to the floor...that's about a two foot drop onto concrete!" exclaims Judge. "This is unfair on Landon!" Ejiro quickly snaps. "It's obvious this Helmsley guy is a sadistic weirdo...and Landon's getting torn apart!" After pounding Maddix with some more rights, Helmsley stands up from his mounted position, before walking over to the ring apron. Throwing the cover away, Helmsley reaches under the ring and pulls out another table, clearly intent on winning his match as soon as possible. Quickly setting up the table, Helmsley stops for a moment as the crowd have begun a 'Tables' chant. The momentary pause comes back to bite Helmsley, as Maddix quickly pushes Helmsley forward chest first into the ring apron. Thinking quickly, Maddix bundles Helmsley into the ring, before turning to the announce table. Pushing Funyon aside, Maddix reaches over and grabs hold of his European Title belt...rolling back into the ring with it, as Jacob begins to pull himself up. With the European Title in his clutches Maddix drops into a crouching position...as Jacob pulls himself up. Slowly he turns around... ...and gets SMACKED in the head with title belt!!! "OLE!" yells Ejiro, as the crowd boo wildly in the background. Helmsley is laid flat out in the middle of the ring, as Maddix turns to the hostile crowd and raises the title belt aloft in the air. "YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!" The very non-politically correct chant rings out from the Floridians, as Maddix proceeds to place his belt safely on the apron. Walking back over to Helmsley, Landon ruthlessly begins to lay in the boots on his fallen adversary. Ced Ordonez tries to stop Landon, but with the no disqualifications rule Maddix just turns to Ced and mockingly tells him he's doing nothing wrong. Grabbing a handful of hair Landon pulls Helmsley up to his feet, hitting a dis-respectful slap on Jacob's way up. An irish whip sends Helmsley into the ropes, and as he comes back Landon leaps and hits a high-leg clothesline...jumping instantly up to his feet, and holding out his hands again. "That is a true champion." gleams Ejiro. "There's not many people who've been better European Champions...well, besides me." "Of course." drawls Annie. Helmsley quickly gets back to his feet, to be met with another boot to the gut from Landon. Following that up with a European uppercut, Maddix then runs to the ropes and comes back with a flying forearm. Helmsley hits the mat, as Landon runs to the ropes again...this time leaving his feet, and landing across Helmsley's gut with a running senton. Totally dominant, Maddix rolls onto his knees and mockingly flexes his muscles, as Helmsley is already trying to get to his feet. "I'm surprised Helmsley is still fighting after that vicious belt shot..." comments Judge. "One belt shot won't keep Jacob Helmsley down." Annie confidently states. "This isn't Jacob's first hardcore match." "Yeah, but it may be his last." laughs Ejiro. "We'll see..." Seeing Helmsley struggling up to his feet, the over-confident Maddix starts to strut over to him. Helmsley gets to his knees before Maddix hits a swift kick to the ribs, rolling him across the ring. A second shot to the ribs connects, and again Helmsley rolls back onto his hands and knees. Smiling, Maddix drops to a crouching position, and starts to rub his hands together. Seemingly checking something near the ceiling, Maddix suddenly breaks forward into a run...hitting an even stiffer kick to the ribs, the smacking sound of which being heard around the arena. As Helmsley holds his ribs in a crumbled heap on the mat, Maddix pretends he's watching a football fly through the air, hand over his brow...and judging from his reaction, the 'kick is good'. "That's a field go..." "No, no...that's a conversion. In Europe they play Rugby see." Ejiro quickly points out to the discaring duo beside him. As Jacob remains on the mat in pain, Maddix rolls out of the ring over near the aisle. The table Jacob set up earlier is quickly un-set up by Maddix, and slid into the ring, before the European Champion follows in. Quickly he grabs the wooden table and props it up against the turnbuckles in the bottom left corner of the ring as the camera looks. On the opposite side of the ring, Helmsley begins to pull himself up using the ropes, but Maddix by now has the table set up and walks over towards him. Helping Jacob up to his feet, Landon shoves him back into the corner and hits a stinging chop across the chest. Landon reels back and hits a second chop, turning around upon contact and letting out a loud 'WHOO!'... ...but turning back around, into a ROAR from an infuriated Jacob Helmsley! "The chops had no effect! My god Helmsley didn't feel those stinging knifedge chops!" yells a shocked Judge. Maddix looks shocked, as Helmsley EXPLODES out of the corner with a clothesline. Maddix instinctively bounces off the mat and to his feet...and gets shoved back into the corner... ...SLAP... "WHOO!" A karate style chop for Maddix. ...SLAP... "WHOO!" ...another connects. ...SLAP... "WHOO!" A third chop, as Maddix's chest is BRIGHT F'N RED!!! Jacob grabs hold of Maddix by the wrist, and flings him forwards with an irish whip. Unable to stop himself, Maddix hurtles towards the table propped up in the corner... ...SMACK!!! Maddix crashes back first into the table, but the wood doesn't break from the impact! Maddix clutches his back, clearly in pain from the unforgiving wood he crashed into...as Jacob suddenly drops into a football stance. "Maddix escaped the first collision...but he won't escape the second!" shouts Annie excitedly. Jacob breaks forward, sprinting across the ring. Head down, at the last moment Jacob dives forward with a diving Gore... ...WHICH MISSES... CCCRRRAAACCCKKK!!!!! Helmsley crashes through the table head first, as Maddix, who had just managed to dive out of his way, lays flat on his face on the mat relieved to have avoided the contact. "Helmsley CRASHED through that table!!!" Annie says in shock. "But Maddix didn't put him through. He could only dive out of the way, and didn't have the presence of mind to actually PUT him through the table. So this match continues..." Judge explains, as Ced Ordonez is in discussion with Funyon at ringside. Funyon: "Referee Ced Ordonez has ruled that Landon Maddix made no contact with Jacob Helmsley before he went through the table...therefore, this match must continue!" Some of the crowd cheer, but most are still shocked at Jacob Helmsley spearing himself through the table. As he lays in amongst the shards and splinters of wood in the corner of the ring, a desperate looking Landon Maddix begins to scramble to his feet. "The question is, can Jacob continue in this match anyway?" Judge points out. "That was one hell of a collision with that table." "Yeah, and it looks like the table may have won out that time." Ejiro adds. "Well, Jacob isn't broken into tiny pieces..." Annie argues. "But the table isn't knocked senseless." "Of course it isn..." "And it's also not about to get it's ass kicked by Landon Maddix either!" A heavily breathing Maddix pulls himself up, unable to hide his relief at not being drilled through the table. Grabbing a hold of Jacob by the leg, Maddix slowly drags Jacob's limp body from out of the table wreckage and the corner. Even that task seems to take something out of Maddix. With Jacob away from the corner, Ced quickly starts to push the remains of it out of the ring. Meanwhile, Landon steps out onto the apron and takes a moment to get his breath back. Sensing he's in the way, Ced gets out of the corner...as Maddix slingshots in from the apron, landing on the middle rope, and using that to hit the Quebrada on Helmsley! Obviously not going for a cover, instead Maddix rolls out of the ring. Going under the ring, Maddix routes around presumably for another table... ...or not, as he comes back out brandishing a steel chair! "Oh boy...time to go hardcore!" beams Annie. "You are such a sadist sometimes." says Ejiro, although hardly dis-approving of the situation. Rolling quickly back in, Maddix places the chair forcefully on the mat, before turning back to Helmsley. Taking a handful of hair Landon pulls Jacob's dead weight up onto it's weakened feet. Dragging Jacob over towards the chair, Landon hooks on a front facelock. Before he can hit a DDT, Jacob summons up the strength to lift Landon off his feet, and carry him towards the corner. Landon manages to land his feet on the middle ropes though, and eventually uppercut his way free of Jacob's grip. Keeping a hold of the front facelock, Maddix propels himself off the middle rope looking for a tornado DDT. Jacob manages to launch Landon off in mid-move however...causing Maddix to crash gut first across the chair!!! Now both men are down and hurt...Maddix holding his gut from falling onto the chair, Jacob still groggy from his trip through the table. Both men start to try and get to their feet, but are both groggy on their feet. At about he same time they reach their feet, and begin to exchange right hands, neither of them possessing the zing in their punches they had earlier. Jacob unsurprisingly gains the advantage with the right hands, so Landon counters with a knee to the gut. With an irish whip Landon sends Jacob into the ropes. As Jacob comes back, Landon goes to connect with a superkick. Managing to duck, Jacob puts the brakes on, as Landon is slow to react. Eventually he turns around…into a boot to the gut. Jacob quickly hooks both of Landon arms, and attempts a Double Arm DDT… …but Landon spins out of the move, and pushes Jacob into and over the ropes, onto the apron. Turning around for a moment, Jacob realizes he is near the other table, but before he can react Landon pulls him up. Landon goes for a right, but Helmsley blocks and hits one of his own…followed by a knee. Quickly hooking Landon’s arm, Jacob goes to suplex him out through the table, which brings the crowd to their feet. “Wait…no! Don’t do this!” screams Ejiro in panic. Jacob hoists Maddix into the air, but he kicks his legs frantically which forces his weight down to counter. Jacob tries again, but again Landon counters…before quickly snapping Jacob back in for a suplex. Helmsley floats over and lands on his feet though behind Maddix, as Landon takes a moment to turn around. Jacob boots him in the gut, and irish whips him across the ring. Jacob swings with a clothesline but Landon ducks, and goes a spinning heel kick. Jacob however ducks that, and hits one of his own…driving Maddix down to the mat with the Blackout…and locking on the chokehold submission at the end of the move! “Come on…he’s choking him out!” yells Ejiro. “It’s no DQ braniac.” Annie counters. “So it’s ok to choke someone out?” “It’s no DQ braniac.” “But he’s going to choke Landon until he’s totally unconscious!” “Is that headset working Ejiro? It’s…No…DQ.” Landon tries to struggle out of the choke, but as Jacob tightens up, the fighting begins to become less and less hard fought. Cinching his leg back Jacob causes Landon’s body to spasm from the pressure, and seemingly knock all the life out of it. Knowing he cannot win with the chokeout, Jacob releases the hold and leaves a flat out Maddix laying on the mat. Turning to the outside, Jacob rolls out of the ring, and starts to work on folding the table back up. It takes just a few seconds for Jacob to fold down the legs and roll the table back in…but rather than roll back in himself, Jacob strolls around the ring…getting to the ring apron… …and grabbing the steel pipe!!! “Oh…oh no. No, not that!” Ejiro begins to panic for his favourite Disciple. “Well, it may be No DQ…but, still…this may be a little too far!” adds Judge. Jacob rolls back in clutching the steel pipe in his two hands and starts to maniacally smile as Landon staggers up to his feet. Not seeing Jacob behind him, Landon begins to brush himself off and try to regain some composure. As he begins to turn around, Jacob suddenly charges forward… …RAMMING THE PIPE INTO THE HEAD OF MADDIX!!! “JACOB! JACOB! JACOB!” Getting some very unfamiliar crowd support, Helmsley grabs Landon off the floor and starts to pull him up…backing off a few steps, and NAILING ANOTHER RUNNING PIPE SHOT TO THE HEAD!!! “Stop the pain!” yells Ejiro. “This is wrong, No DQ or not!” “That one caught Landon with the edge of that pipe…and oh my, Landon’s been cut open!” comments Judge. “Oh NO!” Maddix tries to get up…the pressure he uses to do so beginning to pump blood out of a cut opened up on his forehead! Jacob sees the blood and smiles again, before grabbing the table and starting to set it up in the middle of the ring. Meanwhile Landon suddenly sees his own blood dripping down in front of his eyes, and collapses back to the mat in shock. Meanwhile Jacob has set up the table. Grabbing a hold of Maddix by the hair, he pulls him up to his feet…the blood beginning to stain Landon’s blond hair. With a right hand, Jacob snaps Landon’s neck back, and sends beads of blood flying through the air. “This is going too far. I hope Spike Jenkins and Alan Clark are happy.” Ejiro angrily snaps. “I’d assume they are.” Annie happily replies. Jacob drags Maddix nearer to the table, and whips him into the ropes. As Maddix comes back, Jacob ducks his head…but Maddix puts the breaks on, and nails a boot to the chest. The force knocks Jacob backwards, so he is leant backwards over the table. Quickly Landon climbs to the top rope, as Jacob starts to come around. Landon gets to the top rope…and dives off, as Jacob rolls off the table… …Landon manages to adjust in mid-air though, and land on his feet. Landon also puts his hands out to stop him crashing through the table face first, but as he lands Jacob quickly hits a boot to the ribs. Landon holds his gut, as Jacob pulls him in, and sets him up for the ‘Downfall’…the powerbomb through the table. Jacob hoists Landon up into the air…but as Landon gets on Jacob’s shoulders he suddenly finds new life, firing away with right hands to the temple. Eventually Jacob is staggered enough for Maddix to find an escape over the back. Hooking his arms around Jacob’s waist Landon hits as much of a back suplex as he can manage, staying on the mat as he lands. “Both these men are spent.” starts Judge. “Landon’s losing a lot of blood. Jacob’s still recovering from that head-first dive through the table. And the longer this match goes, the weaker these guys are going to get.” “That’s why this isn’t fair. Alan gets the night off, while Maddix has to go through this? Hardly fair.” complains Ejiro. “TABLES! TABLES! TABLES!” Not showing much concern for the competitors in the ring, the San Diego crowd want to see someone go through a table. First to his feet is Jacob Helmsley, as Maddix is still bleeding profusely. Jacob boots Maddix out of desperation, before helping him to his feet. Driving a knee to the gut and a forearm to the back, Helmsley looks at the table quickly…the time wasted all Landon needed to hit a punch to the gut, and a desperation DDT. This time Maddix manages to groggily get to his feet very quickly, using the table to prop himself up as he looks out to the crowd. “YOU WANT TABLES!?!” Maddix yells. “YOU’LL GET YOUR GOD-DAMN TABLES!!!” he then screams. The crowd give a mixed reaction, as Landon then pulls Helmsley up to his feet. Hitting a couple of right hands, Maddix pounds Helmsley down until he is laid lengthways across the table…before turning to the turnbuckles. With a weary look in his blood soaked eyes, Maddix begins to slowly clamber backwards up the turnbuckles, ready for a moonsault. Getting to the middle rope, suddenly Jacob begins to stir, as the crowd are buzzing. “LANDON! BEHIND YOU!” yells Ejiro in desperation. “Will you at least TRY to be impartial!” snaps an irritated Annie in response. Jacob gets back up off the table, as Landon finally reaches the top rope…only for Jacob to lunge forward, and push his legs from off the ropes, and causing Landon to crash groin first across the top turnbuckle!!! “OOOHHHHH!!!” The crowd feel Landon’s pain, as Helmsley begins to climb to the middle rope…as he gets there, he for some reason decides to turn so he’s facing the ring. The crowd by now are on their feet, sensing something BIG is about to happen. Maddix instinctively starts to get to his feet on the top rope, as Helmsley stays on the second…and hooks Landon’s arms behind his back. “Oh…NO! Not the Black Stallion…FROM THE TOP!?!” exclaims Judge, as the arena is electric. Suddenly, the buzzing crowd begins to be filtered with boos…those boos gradually becoming more vocal, as the down the aisle charges Megan Skye, Todd’s Toddess. In the meantime, very gingerly Helmsley climbs up to the top rope with Landon, who seems helpless… …until Megan rolls into the ring, standing in front of the table, to HUGE heat from the crowd. “Megan had better get out of there, this is no place for a woma…” Judge starts, but stops as he realizes who is sitting next to him. “This isn’t a place for MEGAN.” corrects Annie. “But, it looks like she may have saved Landon!” Seeing Megan standing in front of the table, pleading with Helmsley for mercy, he climbs down onto the second rope…a quick elbow to the ribs of Maddix enough to send him crashing down groin first across the steel again for good measure. Megan suddenly starts to begin pleading for her OWN mercy, as Helmsley climbs from off the turnbuckles, and glares at Megan. Looking extremely nervous, she looks for an escape…and starts to try and make an exit… …ONLY FOR HELMSLEY TO GRAB A HANDFUL OF HAIR!!! “MEGAN’S CAUGHT!” yells Judge. “NO! Someone help her…this isn’t right at all.” Ejiro whines, as the crowd meanwhile don’t share his view. Helmsley starts to yell at Megan, who looks up with total fear on her face. The crowd are going nuts yelling at Jacob to finish Megan off…but instead, he shoves her to one side, causing the Toddess to fall out of the ring! Meanwhile, Landon has recovered and is on the top rope, facing the ring now. As Jacob looks down on Megan on the outside, he notices Landon out of the corner of his eye…the European Champion diving off the top rope with a flying clothesline attempt… …BUT JACOB MOVES… …SSSMMMAAASSSSSHHH!!! LANDON THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Referee Ced Ordonez is quick to wave it off, as Funyon stands up knowing what to do. Funyon: "Referee Ced Ordonez has ruled that Jacob Helmsley made no contact with Landon Maddix before he went through the table...therefore, this match must continue!" As Landon lays in the middle of the broken table, Helmsley walks across the ring, not too concerned at the continuation of the match. Rather than go for Maddx though, Helmsley grabs the steel chair still laying in the ring! “Oh no…enough is enough surely.” pleads Ejiro. “Maybe you should go up there, seeing as you want this match to end so badly.” Annie retorts. “Err…nah, it’s my night off for wrestling.” Ejiro hits back. Landon begins to stir in amongst the broken table, but Jacob decides to give him a helping hand out anyway. Pulling Landon up onto his knees, Jacob raises the chair over his head, ready to strike. However, Jacob gets up in the crowd noise he is so un-used to, giving Landon time to launch forward, and nail a lowblow!!! Jacob instantly drops the chair, as Maddix gathers it up, and gets to his feet. Jacob holds his groin in pain… CRACK! …as Landon brings the chair down across Jacob’s back. Jacob hits the deck, but quickly gets back up…so Landon readies himself again. CRACK! …another chair shot connects with the back of Helmsley. Again he instantly begins to get to his knees, so Landon adjusts his position…with a blood soaked sickening smile on his face… CCCRRRAAACCCKKK!!! …Landon hits a SICKENING baseball swing like chair shot to the face of Jacob Helmsley, denting the chair and seemingly knocking Jacob COMPLETELY unconscious. “Good GOD…WHAT A CHAIR SHOT!” yells Judge is shock. “STEEE…RIKE THREE! Jacob Helmsley is…OUT!!!” Ejiro gleefully shouts in response. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” The crowd chant their opinions, as Landon drops the chair, that same sickening smile still on his claret soaked face. Turning to Megan who is on the floor holding her wrist in discomfort, Landon yells at the Toddess to get another table, as Ced leans down to Jacob Helmsley, checking to see if he can still continue. Seeing this, Landon walks over and shoves former SWF legend Ced Ordonez across the ring, yelling at him that he’s not going to stop the match. Jacob still hasn’t moved. Meantime, Megan has pulled another table out from underneath the ring, and has propped it up against the apron. Before she can begin to set it up, her wrist begins to hurt again, so she decides to leave the table for Landon to retrieve. “Both these men have been through tables, both through their own doing. Now, we need someone to go through a table…courtesy of their opponent.” Judge points out the obvious. Landon turns to the table, sighing at where it is…as suddenly, Jacob begins to stir!!! “Oh…my…god…he’s getting up!” Ejiro mumbles in disbelief. Helmsley is able to stir, but not do much else as he’s still seeing stars. Landon pulls him up to his feet, taking a good few seconds to do so, before hitting a knee to the gut. Retrieving the chair, he winds up for another swing…only for Jacob to hit a desperation clothesline, sending the chair and Landon flying! Landon pops back up in shock…and gets another clothesline. Jacob quickly hits a third, as suddenly he’s running on pure adrenaline! “This is unbelievable!” says the astonished Annie. Landon stumbles over…and gets caught with a Russian legsweep by Jacob, the fall to the mat affecting him as well as Landon however. Still, he manages to get to his feet first though after just a few seconds. Landon is close behind, the blood beginning to affect his vision. Jacob quickly hits a right hand, which seems to open up the wound a bit as Maddix holds his head in pain instantly. All Maddix can do is push Jacob away a few steps, but that isn’t enough, as Jacob instantly hits a big lariat, the force causing Maddix to roll across the length of the ring. “How is Jacob Helmsley still fighting?” questions Annie. “How the hell should I know!?!” snaps Ejiro. “I thought he was dead a minute ago!” As Maddix uses the ropes to pull himself up, Helmsley backs off the opposite side ropes, and charges forward. Weak at the knees he isn’t as fast as usual…even so, he still looks for a clothesline. At the last second, Maddix avoids the contact, ducks his head and backdrops Helmsley over the top rope… …AND THROUGH THE PROPPED UP TABLE!!! DING DING! “WHAT!?!” Judge shouts surprised. “It’s over!” “YES!” yells Ejiro. “Helmsley went through that table Megan left…left for Maddix. Todd Bless Megan!!!” “I totally forgot about that.” mumbles a surprised Annie. “A Bad Ride, and a Worse Landing for Jacob Helmsley! Landon Maddix proves why he’s the number one contender! Todd Bless Landon!” an ecstatic Ejiro beams. “Here is your winner by putting Jacob Helmsley through the table…The SJL European Champion…LAAANDOOON ‘LA CUCARACHA’ MAAADDIIIX!!!” “Suck My Kiss” hits, as the bloody Maddix drops to his knees in ecstasy, Megan looking surprised at the fact her laziness has just gifted Landon the match. Quickly she scrambles into the ring and hugs the victorious Landon, making sure not to get her clothes bloody, as Maddix asks for his belt. “One of the more brutal matches we have seen in the SJL in recent months has ended…with the bloody Landon Maddix defeating Jacob Helmsley. And you have to say, it was a bit of a fluke…” Judge starts, but is cut off… “FLUKE!?!” Ejiro buts in. “That was no fluke. Maddix meant that. That’s why he’s the next World Heavyweight Champion!” An exhausted Maddix uses Megan to keep on his feet, as she helps him out of the ring. Meanwhile, EMTs have come down to ringside to check on Helmsley, who will no doubt have a concussion after the vicious chair shot. Maddix bypasses the EMTs however, too elated to about the wound on his forehead. Dragging the European Title belt with him, Landon stops at the top of the ramp with Megan…and together, the two raise their arms in the air, Landon with the belt too, to mostly boos from the San Diego crowd. “Well…what can we say…apart from congratulations to Landon!” Ejiro beams. “Well folks…if you liked that…tough. Next up, it’s time for a change. From hardcore wrestling…to pure wrestling. Todd Royal and Aecas are next…so stay tuned to the SJL!” Judge finishes up, before we go to a commercial, with Landon and Megan still standing tall at the top of the ramp.

As the show continues, we are sent backstage, where we arrive in a locker room...the only inhabitant being Megan Skye. Of course, she isn't important enough for her own locker room...it's someone elses. Looking very pleased with herself, Megan sits on one of the benches facing the door to the bathroom. A whistling sound can be heard from behind the door, but still we don't know who is in there. Skye- "Oh, hurry up...this wait is killing me." No sooner than Megan finishes speaking, the door swings open and out from the bathroom steps Landon Maddix...wearing his SJL European Championship around his waist, and not a whole lot else besides apart from a pair of boxer shorts. Maddix- "Well?" Skye- "It's...it's...a very nice...belt." Maddix- "Yeah, it is. Then again, it probably looks better on me than Alan Clark, so you probably never noticed it before." Skye- "Not to mention Todd would never wear it like that..." Maddix- "Not that you know of." With a smile, Maddix winks at Megan before turning away from her...allowing Megan to flash a cheeky smile before he turns back. Maddix- "So, where's Todd at?" Skye- "Not sure. I think he's trying to get his head around these 'Pure Wrestling' rules." Maddix- "Ha, poor guy. Luckily for me...I don't need rules tonight. All I need to do is take Jacob Helmsley, toy around with him for a while, and then put him through..." Maddix looks down at the European Title belt, and smiles. Maddix- "'Une tablé'. Simple as that." Skye- "Very simple." Maddix- "Oh, yes. I'm feeling very good about tonight Megan. Ever since 'All Man But The Mice' beat me for the European Championship, I've been on a roll. A roll baby. I've beaten Aecas...how many times now? God only knows. Todd should have it easy tonight. After all, his is the one and only. The Holy Todd." Skye- "Yeah..." Maddix- "Then I beat Spike Jenkins. His pathetic ass was no problem. Then there was Alan...poor little Alan, who apparantely got a little too big for his braces. I beat him. I took his European Title. And the best part?" Maddix starts walking around the room, one hand over his left eye, stumbling into things as Megan laughs. Maddix- "I’m blind…I’m blind. I can’t see. How am I supposed to ‘watch my head and step’ with only one eye?” Landon stops, and laughs as Megan sheepishly does the same. Maddix- “I took Alan Clark’s eye out. That’s the best part. I heard he can’t show up tonight because he’s suffering from his loss. I also heard he couldn’t show up because he’s too exhausted from the beating I gave him last week. But, Megan…do you know the real reason Alan isn’t here tonight?” Skye- “Why’s that?” Maddix- “He got lost.” Skye- “Lost?” Maddix- “Yeah…when they gave him the memo saying we’re going to be in Orlando Florida…” Cheap pop in the background, which Maddix obviously can’t hear. Maddix- “…he couldn’t read where it said Orlando!” Again Landon laughs, as Megan does the same…this time, seemingly a lot more forced. Maddix- “Oh…I’m sorry. I guess I shouldn’t make fun of the disabled. After all, I’m sure Dumbo is keeping…an eye on me. But seriously, I really should stop. I have to focus. I’ve got Jacob Helmsley to worry about for now. Between you and me, I’m a little worried. Just a little, but still. After all…this guy’s supposed to be one sick puppy. Or so I’ve heard.” Skye- “Have you seen anything sick from him?” Maddix- “Not really. To be honest, he seems like a bit of a loser. When a lump of metal is you’re only friend, you’re either a very horny woman, or a pathetic loser. And Jacob doesn’t look much like the first one.” As he’s talking, Landon finally starts to get changed into his wrestling attire, as Megan sits twiddling her thumbs. Maddix- “The thing is, it’s a Tables Match. So for all I know, this guy’s going to use that pipe on me. Look at this face. Look at it Megan. Does this look like a face that needs a lead pipe beating?” Skye- “N…no. Certainly…certainly not.” Maddix- “Exactly. Think of all the photo-shoots I may not get if that pipe damages me and my face. I don’t want that to happen.” Megan finally stands up, walking over to Landon and placing a hand on his shoulder, which quite surprises Landon. Skye- “Landon, relax. You’ve got it in the bag. Jacob Helmsley is no match for ANY follower of Todd. He doesn’t have what it takes to defeat the Disciple.” Maddix- “You…you’re probably right.” Skye- “Of course I’m right. You’re the SJL European Champion. The next SJL World Heavyweight Champion. You are a star Landon. Jacob Helmsley is no star. He’s no Disciple. He’s no Landon Maddix. Look at you. You’re a star. A true champion. I’d say one of the best athletes in the SJL today.” Maddix- “I…do have a good body.” Skye- “You have a great body.” Maddix- “Thank you.” Skye- “You’re faster than Helmsley, smarter than Helmsley, more agile than Helmsley. All these things work in your favour Landon. Face it, there’s no ay you’re going to lose this match. Ever since losing that belt, you’ve been on a role.” Maddix- “You might say, it was a case of “The Disciple’s New Groove”. Landon laughs at his own personal joke, as Megan obviously doesn’t get it. Skye- “Landon…just go out there, and make Todd proud.” Maddix- “Make Todd proud…you bet I’ll make Todd proud. Todd is going to be over-flowing with pride by the time that match is over. When I drive that unbeliever Jacob Helmsley through that table, it’ll just be another message to Alan Clark. He wants to mess with Todd? Well, when someone messes with Todd…he messes with you Megan, and he also messes with me. And NOBODY messes with me.” Skye- “Or me.” Maddix- “Yeah…well…whatever. The point Megan is, tonight I’m going to show Alan what happens when you mess with Todd and me…and…you, I suppose. Once I’ve got rid of Helmsley, then it’s all about being the next SJL World Heavyweight Champion. After all…” Sliding on a Todd Royal replica shirt, reading “I am Your Todd…Bow Down”, Landon unstraps his belt from underneath…throws it over his shoulder, and begins to leave the room. Stopping, he turns back to Megan and smiles… Maddix- “Two eyes…are better than one.” …before leaving the room. Megan sighs with a smile, and sits back down, as the scene cuts away…

Liston fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Spike fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Daredevil no-showed Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Also missing Cross Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Show will go up tomorrow, as I have, oh, practically nothing right now.

Oh yeah, and Thoth, if you actually take the time to play Battlegrounds, do me a favor and let me know how it looks.

Yeah, but Spike's in the match, so Todd will have to write his match himself too... This card will be fine for the time being. CC hasn't forgotten that Maddix is the #1 contender to the World title, and he will get that shot at a later date. Also there are some changes coming up in the next few weeks that will affect everyone on the roster. I'll make an official announcement in the next couple days once I have the schedule hammered out. Oh yeah, and for those who wonder why I didn't do the title histories over the break, I spent the entire fucking holidays sick. Blow me.

Twenty hours later and there isn't ONE comment on this board? Wow... I'm glad you people care about what happens here. I'm still waiting on Kibs or some word from Cross or Liston, so I don't know yet if there's a match to put in there. But of the matches I DID receive (or didn't receive) I had a grand total of three. Three matches out of a possible nine. This is the effort I get for a special show? I'm not sure why I booked it at all. Probably the only positive news I have is that I thought Alan Clark wrote a gem of a match. Congratulations on winning your first World title. It's too bad Todd Royal wasn't able to write as well (and I did have a good excuse from Royal). No, I don't know yet what's going to happen to the European title now that Clark holds both belts. First I'd like to know if we even have a contender. Well, we're done for two weeks. Feel free to promo on here as often as you like. Over the break I'll try to get the title histories and related material updated. See you in 2004.

It's up.

SUMMARY. Um, the show's up. Read it. My comments coming tomorrow. And plenty of them.

SJL WRATH: SEASON'S GRIEVINGS Venue: The Arena in Juneau, Alaska! If there wasn't one before, there is one now. Date: Sunday, December 21, 2003 @ 9 PM EST Note: This is the last SJL show of the year! We'll take two weeks off for the holidays and then get back on our regular schedule in January. In the meantime, you're certainly welcome to write promos as often as you like. SNOWBALL BATTLE ROYAL Daredevil vs. Sean Casey vs. "Fruity" Frankie Deed vs. Santa Claus Description: This has got to be a better idea than the Ball Crawl match. Since the Juneau Arena's heating system is broken, the temperature in the arena is already below freezing (yay). So therefore, there's no premature chance of melting for the four piles of snowballs that are piled in each corner of the ring. This is a standard match, win by pinfall or submission, but there are no countouts and snowballs are legal weapons. Have at it. #1 CONTENDER MATCH - SJL EUROPEAN TITLE David Cross vs. Jimmy "The Demon" Liston Description: Cross has impressed since debuting recently in the SJL. Liston returns from a hiatus. Both have something to prove. This is the first of two European title contendership matches. Standard rules. SPECIAL REFEREE MATCH Aecas vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix Guest Referee: Chris Raynor Description: Maddix has already earned himself the #1 contendership to the SJL World Championship and will likely be cashing it in on the first show of the year. But what will this mean for his alliance with Todd Royal? In the meantime, Maddix takes on Aecas in a classic match, but this one could be a little chaotic with the shady officiating of the guest referee: the SJL commissioner, Chris Raynor. Standard rules. #1 CONTENDER MATCH - SJL EUROPEAN TITLE Jacob Helmsley vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins Description: The second of two European title contendership matches pits veteran grapplers Jacob Helmsley against Spike Jenkins. Pain and chaos abounds! MAIN EVENT SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE Todd Royal vs. Alan Clark Description: It's the match you've all been waiting for -- the final showdown between mega-heel Todd Royal and Disney sponsored Alan Clark. It's champion versus champion one more time, but only the World title is on the line. Will Todd Royal be able to keep the gold and continue the Second Era of Todd into the new year? Or will Alan Clark wrap up the year walking out with both of the Smarks Junior League's titles? Find out Sunday! Oh, did I mention -- Falls Count Anywhere!

The Juneau Arena drops into darkness and the fans go silent as the SmarkTron comes to life. CUE: “King Of My World” by Saliva I'll never see any side of heaven. I'll walk for miles through a blazin hell. It doesn't matter what you think I'm supposed to be. 'Cause I myself know all too well. The SmarkTron shows images of Todd Royal and various wins, including his defeats of Alan Clark…and Aecas for his second World Championship. I'll open your eyes and make you see I'm the king of my world. (king of my world) I'll break down the walls around you now. I'm the king of my world. (king of my world) I'll break down the walls around you. Various shots of Todd looking out over booing crowds mixed in with shots of Alan Clark, most specifically during Clark’s second European Title win over Landon Maddix…then changing to shots of the recent Crimson match…including the high flying but missed Pheonix Splash that almost cost Alan the match. My mind alone is filled with rage for you. I am the pastor to your sheep. The beatdown of Clark by Royal and Maddix is shown. I am the master of my destiny. I am the king of all you see. The video fades out on Royal standing over an injured Clark holding his World Championship high in the air. The SmarkTron changes to show Todd Royal with Megan Skye and his title on one side of the screen, and Alan Clark with a smile and his European Championship on the other. In the middle of the two it reads: World Champion Todd Royal Vs. European Champion Alan Clark Falls Count Anywhere. The music fades out and the crowd explodes with cheers as the main event is up next. Before the announce team can speak, however, a loud booming voice echoes throughout the arena…the lights stay dimmed. "Please Stand Clear of the Ring. Por favor Soporte Claro Del Anillo." "For the safety and comfort of others...no smoking please. Para la seguridad y la comodidad de otras... el ningún fumar por favor" "The SJL and the Walt Disney Company are proud to present...your European Champion." “Here we go!” Annie says as “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” from the Lion King soundtrack blares and Alan Clark steps through the curtain, favoring his still injured left leg as he high-fives fans on his way to the ring. “The crowd is going wild for the European Champion…they know how much this match means to him!” Annie says, but Ejiro chuckles and adds his two cents. “Don’t they see how hurt he is…Royal is going to show him the true meaning of Todd-liness right here tonight!” He says as Alan climbs up the ring steps and through the ropes as Funyon makes the announcement. “Ladies and Gentlemen…the following matchup is for the SJL World Heavyweight Championship and is a Falls…Count…Anywhere Match! Introducing first…hailing from Disneyland Paris….he is the current SJL European Champion and the Happiest Guy On Earth… ALLLLAAAANNNNNN CLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK~! “Alan” chants can be heard loudly as Clark pulls the European title off his waist and holds it high in the air with his left hand, while motioning with his right that he wants more gold tonight. “Alan Clark is being pretty brave tonight…putting his body on the line…” Judge begins… “No…he’s just being stupid…” Ejiro finishes as the crowds cheers slowly fade down and are replaced by large heavenly bright lights that soon show off a very large choir standing underneath a huge stained glass portrait of Todd Royal. Suddenly, blue and white strobe lights illuminate the arena as “Shoot To Thrill” by AC/DC brings Megan Skye out from behind the curtain. She looks down the entranceway at Alan Clark, who is watching from the ring, and then signals toward the curtain… Without further adieu, Todd Royal steps through the curtain, World title over his shoulder and a cocky smile on his face. He walks to the ring with Megan as boos and chants begin to fill the arena. “ROYAL SUCKS! ROYAL SUCKS!” Funyon has a hard time doing his job over the chanting. “And his opponent…being accompanied to the ring by Megan Skye…he hails from sunny San Deigo, California and is the SJL World Heavyweight Champion…. TOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD ROY-“ *THUD* “OH MY GOD!” All three announcers explode as Alan Clark crashes into Todd Royal and Megan Skye from above, knocking them both down in the aisle. Referee Mathew Kivell slides out of the ring and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* “This match is underway and I don’t even know how it started!” Judge exclaims as a replay shows Todd and Megan distracted by a fan at ringside as Alan Clark springboards off the top rope and dives out into the entranceway, landing on both of them and knocking them to the floor. Kivell pulls Megan up to check on her and she shoves him away. Kivell shakes his head and tosses her out of the match before the two men can even get to their feet. “Mathew Kivell just threw out the Toddess! How dare he!” Ejiro screams as Megan looks at Kivell in shock, but Kivell points to back once more, and Megan’s look turns to anger as she leaves the two men to fight one on one. “Todd Royal does not even know that just happened!” He yells again as Clark gets back to his feet and sees the World title laying against the barricade. Without a second thought, Alan picks the title up off the ground and holds it in the air, causing another huge pop from the audience. “Could we be seeing an omen of things to come?” Judge asks as Alan hands the belt over to Kivell and pulls a dazed Royal off the ground. Alan tries to whip Todd toward the ring, but it is reversed and Alan takes a run at the apron, barely getting off his feet in time to slide right below the bottom rope and into the ring. Royal is not far behind, however, and he slides in the ring as well…only to be met by a few hard kicks to the back. Kivell is the last one back in the ring and he gets to his feet just as Clark lifts Royal into the air and drops him back down with a suplex. “Alan Clark is in control early after that huge leap to the…” Annie is suddenly cut off by Ejiro, who is pounding the announce table in anger. “I can’t believe this! That cheery scum cheats…then gets the Toddess thrown out!” “Maybe Kivell is just making this a fair fight…and a safe one for Megan. She could get hurt out here and I can’t leave my post to help her…” Annie comments as Alan whips Royal into the corner and follows with a splash… …but he misses! Royal moves out of the way just in time and Alan connects with nothing but the top turnbuckle. Alan stumbles back as Royal comes out of the ropes and connects with a dropkick right to the left knee of the European Champion. Alan grabs his knee in pain and falls to the mat. “Royal is going right for that knee he and Landon Maddix injured on Crimson…Clark is visibly in pain!” Judge remarks as Clark rolls on the mat, holding his knee. “Praise Todd!” is all Ejiro can say as Royal lifts Alan back up and hooks his knee in a cradle before lifting Clark off the ground and dropping it down across his own knee with a kneebreaker, causing more pain to shot through the body of the European Champion. “Todd Royal is focusing on that knee now! Come on Clark!” Annie comments as Royal continues his assault, lifting Alan’s knee up and repeatedly driving into the canvas. Alan tries to escape to the outside, but Royal pulls Alan back to the center of the ring. Todd looks out into the booing crowd and signals for the Wrath of Todd as he pulls Alan’s legs up and hooks them… “This could be over early if Todd Royal gets that Wrath of Todd figure four on that injured knee!” Judge watches as Todd tries to finish hooking in the hold…but Alan kicks his legs away, causing Todd to stumble forward. Alan reaches up to the tripped up World Champion and swings his body around, rolling Royal down into an inside cradle! Kivell slides down for the count… ONE… TWO…. KICKOUT! “Alan Clark tried to steal the title there and it almost worked! Todd Damn Him!” Ejiro yells as Alan tries to get back to his feet, still feeling the effects of his injured left knee. Royal is up quicker than Alan can prepare and is caught off guard as Royal comes in with another dropkick to the knee, causing Alan to fall backwards and through the ropes, landing violently on the mat outside the ring. The crowd boos loudly as Royal taunts the crowd, before rolling to the outside of the ring and continuing the attack on Clark’s left knee, kicking it with a vengeance. Alan stumbles and catches himself on the ring steps, but Royal leaps from behind and catches Clark’s head, driving into the steps with a bulldog! “Big Bulldog right on the steps….” Judge calls as Alan rolls to the floor, now bleeding slightly. “…and Alan Clark has been busted open!” He finishes as Royal gets back to his feet and notices his handy work on the European Champion. “Alan has always had a pretty weak forehead, stemming from his Bloodshed days…and right now it’s only adding to the pain!” Annie comments as Royal connects repeatedly with stiff strikes to Alan’s forehead, causing more and more blood to be lost. Royal connects with one more hard shot before backing up, leaving Clark to fall down beside the steps, sitting up against them. Royal takes a run at Clark and leaps toward him, putting his knee up… *CLANG* “Royal missed!” Judge watches as Royal’s left knee bounces violently off the steps, causing him to fall almost chest first on top of them and roll off, his back hitting the floor. Royal holds his knee in pain for a moment as Clark tries to get back to his feet. “Look…look at Clark!” Annie almost screams as a close-up catches Alan’s bloody face. “He’s smiling! Alan Clark is smiling!” She says again as Alan wipes the blood from his face and looks down at it with a grin. Clark moves off to Royal and lifts him off the floor and holds him by the head. Alan gets down in the World Champion’s face and begins screaming loudly. “Look what you’ve done! Look!” Alan screams again and again as he pulls Royal toward the entranceway. Clark gets to the exposed concrete floor as Kivell slides out of the ring, trying to get Alan to stop whatever he is planning. Alan shoves Royal’s head down between his leg and hooks in a waistlock…. “He’s going to piledrive him on the concrete! Kivell! Stop Him!” Ejiro yells as Alan lifts Royal up for a piledriver, but Todd kicks his legs fiercely and Alan lets go of the champ for a moment before regaining the hold. Clark tries to lift again, but Todd is ready… *THUD* “Todd reversed it! Todd Bless!” Ejiro sings the praises of the World Champion as Alan is lifted over Royal’s head and dropped to the floor, hitting the concrete violently. Royal falls backwards and land on top of Clark and Kivell drops to the concrete for a cover… ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Alan gets his shoulder up just before the three and Kivell makes sure the entire arena knows it, as the crowd cheers for Alan Clark to stay alive. “AL-AN! AL-AN!” The chants are echoing all throughout the building as Royal is able to get back to his feet. Royal shakes the cobwebs out and picks Alan up off the hard concrete floor. Todd looks into the eyes of the bloodied Alan Clark and slaps him in the face, causing blood to fly like spit. Kivell tries to pull Royal away to check on Clark, but Todd simply shoves him away and hooks the European Champ in a front facelock “Todd Royal is showing no regard for authority!” Annie quips, but Ejiro is quick to correct her as Royal lifts Alan into the air and falls back on the concrete with another suplex. “This match is no DQ, Annie…and Todd IS the authority!” He says as Royal gets back to his feet and moves over to Alan, trying to pick him up off the floor… “BLOODMIST!” The three announcers scream in unison as Clark spits blood up into the face of Royal, causing him to stumble back, blinded. Alan rolls to his stomach and gets to his feet, holding his back a little…but with a smile on his face. Clark takes a hobbled jog at Royal and hooks in a waistlock as he runs, lifting Royal off the ground and running him back first into the apron. “Alan Clark is showing levels of agression he has not shown since his return a few weeks ago.” Annie comments as Alan tosses Royal back in the ring and follows behind him, leaving Kivell slightly confused on the outside after the odd exchange. “Maybe the blood is messing with his head…” Ejiro chuckles as Alan drops to the mat and begins slugging away on the blinded World Champion. Alan can be heard yelling at the champion with each shot. “Bleed! Bleed!” the words become louder and louder as Clark finally relents on his attack, leaving Royal down in the ring. Alan rolls to the outside and seemingly forgets his Disney heritage as he tosses a crewmember from his path and grabs a steel chair. Alan slaps it off the floor a few times, eliciting a few more cheers from the crowd before sliding back in the ring with it. “What is he going to do to Todd!” Ejiro questions as Royal tries to get back to his feet, wiping the mist from his eyes. Royal is seemingly finally able to see and as he looks up to find Clark… *TWANG* ...Alan sends the steel chair right across his forehead, causing him to flip over the top rope and out of the ring. Alan drops the chair and rushes to the corner, springing up to the top and looking to the crowd for approval before taking the leap… “AL-AN! AL-AN!” *THUD* “Alan takes a dive off the top and at the last second the World Champion moves out of the way!” Annie comments as Clark tried for a splash only to land on nothing but the concrete, missing the ringside padding by a few feet. “He could have dented the floor there! We would have to mail him back to Disney in a little baggie!” Ejiro laughs as Royal shakes off the chair shot and looks at Alan, who is still stomach down on the concrete. Todd stands over Alan and lifts him up to his feet, only to drop his head down and lock in a standing headscissors. “Todd Royal is signaling for a piledriver on the concrete! Alan Clark tried this earlier and ended up on his back!” Judge remarks as Todd lifts Alan into the air and holds him upside down… …and drops him head first into the concrete! The crowd explodes in another loud chorus of boos as Royal rolls Alan over and tries for a pin. Kivell is there and waiting… “Alan Clark could be knocked out!” Annie yells as Kivell starts the count… ONE… TWO… THREENOOOOOOO!!!!! “Todd Damn It! How did he do that!” Ejiro screams as Alan’s arm fires off the concrete floor, and at the same time, all around the three men…FIRE burns up the entranceway, causing Royal’s eyes to widen as he gets back to his feet. Royal and Kivell stare at each other for a moment and look around, but the World Champ is quick to snap out of it… “What the hell is going on! Who did that?” Ejiro questions as Royal pulls Alan off the ground, but Alan breaks free of Todd’s grasp and fires off with a quick chop that sends Royal reeling backwards down the entranceway. “This is insane…first the bloodmist…and now that eerie fire! Alan Clark told the world on Tuesday that he would do whatever it took to take that title from Todd Royal…and it seems that piledrive just triggered some bad memories for the Happiest Guy On Earth…” Judge watches on… “What do you mean?” Annie asks Judge as Alan continues chopping away at Todd, pushing him farther and farther back. “The fire… the Apostle’s fire still burns within that mixed up skull of Alan Clark!” He yells back at Annie as Alan steps away from Todd and then leaps in with a superkick that catches Todd right in the jaw and sends him back through the curtain and into the backstage area! “Get a camera back there!” Annie yells as Alan turns back toward the ring and looks down the entranceway at the fire. A close-up shows a dimly lit smile on Clark’s face as he crosses his hand across his chest and can be heard speaking as he and Kivell head through the curtain to find Todd Royal. “It’s fate…” is Clark’s call as the SmarkTron suddenly bursts to life to show him with a cover on Todd Royal! ONE… TWO…. THRENNNNOOOOOO!!! Todd gets his shoulder up and Alan seems a little miffed, pulling Royal up off the floor and holding him by his hair, looking around for what he can do next to the Champion. Alan drags Royal down the main hallway of the Juneau Arena, bouncing him off doors and the brick hallway walls repeatedly as they move farther and farther away from the ringside area. “Where is taking Todd?” Ejiro questions as Alan rounds a corner and sees an open door a few down a smaller hallway. Alan pulls Royal toward the door and notices it opens into a stairwell leading down. Alan smiles and screams down at Royal, who has been unsuccessfully trying to escape the pull of the European Champion. “Remember what I did to Craig, pal?” Alan yells as he lifts Royal up and holds him up over his head in a military press. “Alan is going to drop Todd down those stairs! Stop him!” Ejiro screams, but Judge notices what Ejiro does not, as Alan begins to stumble backwards a bit, losing his grip on Royal and causing him to drop down onto his feet. “Alan Clark’s bad knee couldn’t hold up to the weight of the World Champion!” Judge comments as Royal backs off…and as Alan turns around he is met in the chin with another fierce superkick! *CRASH* “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” The crowd chants as Alan falls backwards and trips on his own feet, sending himself hurling down the flight of stairs to a landing below, his body ricocheting off the steps violently before he settles at the bottom. Royal looks down the stairs in disbelief, but a smile slowly forms on his face. Royal walks down the stairs and taunts Alan as he goes. “Poor poor, Alan” he can be heard as the cameraman watches from the upper landing. “you thought you could beat me but look at you…look at you…” Royal finishes as he lays on top of Clark for a pin attempt. “Not this way!” Annie moans out as Kivell makes the count from the higher landing… ONE… TWO…. THREEEEEEEEEE!! NOOOOOOO!!! “Kivell says no!” Judge yells as Alan’s arm fires off the concrete just before the three count. Kivell motions to Royal that it was only two, and Todd screams back up the stairs as he pulls Alan off the floor and carries him up the steps toward where Kivell is sitting. “How in Todd’s name do you know! You can’t see anything from up here!” Todd yells before dropping Alan at the top of the stairs and going for another cover… “Do it right!” he screams at Kivell…who counts once more… ONE… TWO…. THREEEEE!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! “That was TWO, Royal!” Kivell yells back at the World Champion, causing a look of disgust to appear on Todd’s face. Royal huffs a little and pulls Alan back up to his feet and begins dragging him down the hall, giving Alan a taste of what Royal was subjected to earlier, repeatedly slamming Alan’s bloody face of doors as they move down the hall. Finally it seems Royal has found what he was aiming for as he finds the door marked “Todd Royal – World Champion”. “What is he going in there for?” Annie asks as Todd kicks the door open and tosses Alan inside before shutting the door behind him, leaving Kivell to fumble with the knob before he is able to get inside. In the room, the first thing the camera sees is Todd standing over a downed Alan Clark and repeatedly swinging a baseball bat into Alan’s left knee. Clark moans in pain with each shot, and finally Todd relents as he notices Kivell watching. “Now everyone will see the Hand Of Todd!” Royal yells at Alan, who has sat up on his knees, still trying to protect his left one from any more bat shots. Royal holds the bat over Alan and takes one hard swing right at the back of Alan’s head, but Alan’s instincts kick in as he rolls to the right side, dodging the bat by mere inches. Todd stumbles from the force of the swing and trips forward, almost falling on his face as Alan tries to get back to his feet. Todd recovers quickly and turns at Alan, infuriated. The World Champion rushes toward Alan and swings wildly again, only for Clark to dodge once more and grab Royal’s head, sending him face first into a row of lockers. “Alan Clark is trying to mount a comeback!” Judge comments as Royal bounces off the steel lockers and falls backwards, tripping over a bench and falling flat on his back, the baseball bat shooting from his hands. Alan leaps over the body of Royal and grabs the bat of the ground. “Alan can not possess the Hand of Todd! Kivell! Stop Him!” Ejiro screams again as Alan watches Royal slowly get up. “Have a Magical Day!” Alan yells as he swings the bat down toward Royal… *WHIFF* “TODD MOVED!” Ejiro is elated as Todd rolls out of the way and gets back to his feet, running toward the door. Royal escapes out of the door and around the corner. Alan looks at Kivell for a minute and chokes up on the baseball bat before stepping out into the hall. Before Alan can make a move, Royal comes into frame and kicks the back of Alan’s knee with all the force he can, causing Alan to stumble and drop the bat, reaching down to grab his knee in pain. Royal takes the time to pick his beloved bat off the ground before again taking swings at the legs of Alan, connecting with vicious shots that cause Alan to stumble and fall as they move down the hallway. Todd screams down at Alan as he swings… “How dare you even touch the Hand of Todd! How dare you!” Todd screams again and again, and it finally seems as though Alan can not take much more as the hallway opens up into the parking garage. Todd drops the bat down to the concrete and lifts Alan’s legs up, signaling for a Figure Four… “The Wrath of Todd!” Ejiro yells out as Todd begins to lock Alan’s left leg in the hold… “If Todd can hook this in it could be over!” Judge comments… …and he does! Alan Clark cries out in pain as he tries to keep his shoulders off the concrete. Kivell checks for a submission but Alan does not want to quit, each “No” answer causing more and more cheers and chants to erupt from the Juneau crowd “NO!” “AL-AN! AL-AN!” “GIVE UP” Royal screams out… “This is MY title!” “NO!” “AL-AN! AL-AN!” The crowd grows to a fever pitch as Alan looks around for escape…. *CRACK* YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The crowd explodes in unison as Alan is able to retrieve the Hand of Todd from were Royal dropped it and before Todd can break the hold he is met in the side of the head by the bat. “Alan Clark just used Todd’s own weapon against him! Had Royal thrown it away this match could be over right now!” Judge remarks as the hold is broken and Alan crawls across the garage floor, trying to get to his feet. A few feet away, Royal is shaking off the bat shot and is also trying to get up as Kivell looks on. Clark is finally able to grab hold of a chain-link fence and slowly pulls himself up, using his legs for strength as little as he has to. Behind him, Royal is up as well and he quickly takes a run at the almost vertical Clark… UGHHHHH! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The crowd pops again as Alan falls out of the way of a leaping Royal, causing him to meet the fence face first. Alan comes up from beside Royal and grabs him by the head once more, shoving his face against the fencing and running it back and forth, causing more blood to be shed by the World Champion. Alan pushes harder and harder as he yells toward Todd… “Now you know what it feels like…to BLEED!” Alan screams before slamming Royal’s head off the fence one last time. “I don’t believe this! The blood of Todd is being shed all over the arena! We need to stop the madness!” Ejiro watches in horror as Alan pulls Royal away from the fence with a front facelock before leaping into the air and driving himself and Todd Royal down into the concrete with a hard DDT! “Vicious DDT from the challenger and Todd Royal could be knocked out cold!” Judge comments as Alan rolls Todd over and goes for a cover… ONE…. TWO…. THREEEEEEEEEEE!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! “IT’S NOT OVER YET!” All three announcers scream as Royal’s shoulder fires off the concrete just before the three count. The look on Alan’s bloodied face shows his depression as he slaps his hand down on the ground. Before Kivell can get back to his feet, Alan pulls Royal up and tosses him toward the fencing once more… “Todd Reverses!” Ejiro screams as Todd is able to reverse the whip at the last moment, sending Alan back first into the fence. As Alan bounces off, Royal takes another shot at Alan’s left knee, causing him to buckle over in pain…. *THUD* “CUTTING IN LINE FROM TODD ROYAL! Alan Clark just got dropped to the concrete with his own move!” Ejiro laughs as Clark almost bounces off the ground from the Cutting In Line. Royal covers Clark and Kivell drops down for the count. ONE…. TWO… THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! “Alan just will NOT stay down here…he wants that World Title!” Annie exclaims as Todd looks up in disbelief “What in Todd’s name do I have to DO TO YOU!??!” Todd slaps Alan across the face. But soon the pain in the World Champion’s eyes turns to that of pleasure as Royal gets up off the garage floor and runs off around the corner. Kivell’s eyes follow Royal until he disappears, but Clark seems to be hurt, blood now pouring out of his forehead. “Where did he go?” Judge questions as Kivell tries to help Alan to his feet, but he is shoved away as Clark slowly gets up. Once he is standing, Alan wipes the blood from his eyes and looks around for Royal. “Where is he!?” Alan yells at Kivell, who points around the corner where Royal just disappeared. Alan rushes around the corner… *VVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* “What the hell!” All three announcers scream as tires are heard squeeling and before Kivell or the cameraman can get around the corner, a limousine comes into frame and brakes hard, almost sliding into the JL Production Truck. Kivell rushes around the corner and sees Alan Clark laying face down on the concrete and not moving. From out of the limo comes Todd Royal, looking pissed off as he moves toward the back of the stretch. “Todd Damn It! You weren’t supposed to move out of the way!” Todd screams at the downed Alan, who apparently was not hit by crazed World Champion. Todd pulls Alan off the ground and throws a few more punches into the bloody face of the challenger before whipping him toward the limo. Alan’s body bounces hard off the trunk, causing him to flip up onto it. Todd rushes in and connects with a quick clothesline that puts Alan up against the back window of the limo. Now Alan is completely on the trunk and is not moving much. “Todd Royal tried to run down Alan Clark! He is insane! The World Champion is getting desperate now to keep his gold!” Annie comments as Todd climbs up on the trunk and lifts Alan up with him. Before Alan can shake away the pain, Todd picks Alan off the trunk and drives his body down spine first into the roof. “Hard Spinebuster on the roof! Alan has go to be hurting more and more with each passing moment!” Judge comments as Todd looks into the bloodied face of Alan… “Time for you to praise Todd!” He yells before pulling Alan off the roof and climbing up with him. Todd turns Alan around and hooks in a full nelson… “Todd couldn’t get it done with the Wrath of Todd…now he wants to finish it by knocking Alan Clark out with the…” Judge starts…but Ejiro cuts him off… “…Todd Damn! Woo!” Ejiro screams as Todd tries to lift Clark off his feet, but Alan drops into deadweight, causing Todd to yell various obscenities before trying again… Todd tries for the lift… GUHHHHH!! Alan escapes! “Alan Clark has escaped from the Todd Damn by kicking Todd Royal’s knees out from under him!” Annie exclaims as Todd moans in pain and drops Alan out of the full nelson. Clark hits the roof on his feet and turns toward the World Champion and immediately tries for a superkick… TODD DUCKS! CLOTHESLINE FROM ROYAL! CLARK DUCKS! “CUTTING IN LINE ON THE CHAMPION!” Annie screams out as Alan catches Royal out of the missed clothesline and leaps up, catching his head and driving him down head first into the roof of the limousine. In the arena, the crowd is going crazy as Alan slowly gets back to his feet and looks down at Royal. “Todd Royal could be out…but what is Alan Clark doing now!” Judge watches as Alan looks into the camera and points to the roof of the production truck. With one bad leg, Alan leaps up and catches the edge of the roof and slowly pulls himself up. Back down on the limo, Kivell looks on…standing on the trunk…as Todd Royal is unmoving on the limo roof, still face down after the neckbreaker. Alan stands on the production truck roof and looks down at Royal, and can be heard yelling down to him… “What did I always say…It’s Fate!” Alan yells as he wipes the blood from his eyes. Taking on last look down, Alan smiles before turning around and looking off in the opposite direction. The camera can barely see him as he crosses his hand over his chest and bows his head… “He can’t do this! Stop him!” Ejiro exclaims as Alan leaps off the roof… …Alan spins to the right….. …and begins a slow somersault forward…. OH! ….he completes the turn…. MY! …and the somersault… GOD!! *CRASH* “HE CONNECTS!” Annie screams as the Juneau crowd explodes in unison. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” “Alan Clark just dove from the roof of the production truck and almost drove both himself and the World Champion through the roof of that limousine with that Pheonix Splash!” Judge makes the call… “and Clark is going for the cover!” He continues as Alan rolls Todd Royal over onto his stomach and falls over his chest… Kivell drops and starts the count on the roof of the limo… ONE….. The crowd explodes… “AL-AN! AL-AN! AL-AN! TWO….. Ejiro moans… NO! NO! NO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! “Alan Clark has done it!” Annie and Judge yell out in unison as the crowd’s cheers grow to enormous heights. Alan rolls of the roof and to the concrete floor, leaving a defeated Royal staring at the garage ceiling. Mathew Kivell drops down and lifts Alan off the ground and begins to talk to him. “Clark barely knows he won!” Judge exclaims as a ringside crew member rushes into view with the World and European Titles and hands them to Kivell, who shows them to Clark. As the camera moves in and Clark looks up and toward it, Alan wipes the blood completely off his face and a look of tearful joy can be seen, as tears are almost rolling down Alan’s smiling face. “He knows now…” Annie mentions as the two belts are handed to Alan. Clark hobbles out of Kivell’s grasp with the titles, only for Kivell to try and stop him. “Where are you going?” Kivell asks the new World Champion as Alan stumbles past the camera. “I’m going to celebrate!” Alan’s voice trails off weakly as the cameraman follows him, leaving Kivell to check on the defeated former champion. Clark heads back into the hallway out of the garage and toward the ringside area, moving slow and limping heavily. “Hey, Clark!” A voice calls out from off camera, and as Alan turns he sees the odd pairing of Spike Jenkins and Aecas standing in a doorway. “Good job, man…but I’ll be coming for those soon enough…” Spike laughs and hugs Alan Clark, causing a pop from the crowd. “Now go have fun…” Aecas offers a handshake to Clark, who accepts with a bloody smile before Spike and Aecas leave Alan and walk back from where they came. The fans realize that Alan is getting closer and closer to the ring now…as the cheers grow louder and louder with each passing moment… “AL-AN! AL-AN! AL-AN!” …until he steps through the curtain just as “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” explodes throughout the building. The ringside cameras take over, showing Annie soothing Ejiro as Alan walks past the cheering fans close to the entranceway, thanking him as he hobbles toward the ring. Alan slides in the ring with the two titles and slowly moves over toward the corner where Funyon is waiting. With a smile on his face, Alan shows off the two titles to Funyon, who finally makes the match official. “Ladies and Gentlemen…here is YOUR WINNER…and NEWWWWWWWWWW S-J-L WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THE HAPPIEST MAN ON EARTH… ALLLLLLAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN CCCCCLLLLLLLLLAAAAAARRRRRKKKKK~!” The fans in the arena continue to cheer as they stand to acknowledge the new World Champion as Alan slowly climbs up on each turnbuckle and holds both titles high above his head. Close-ups of the new champion show blood, sweat, and tears of joy as he celebrates in the center of the sold out arena. “Alan Clark has done it! He overcame the odds! He overcame injury! He is the new and deserving World Champion!” Annie cheers on Alan as he continues the celebration, finally stopping in the middle of the ring and falling to his knees, holding both belts to his chest as tears stream down his face. “Look at him! There’s no crying in wrestling!” Ejiro yells out, causing Annie to actually slap the SWF champion in the face! “Shut up, Ejiro…You know what it’s like to win the big one…let the boy celebrate!” She yells out as Alan sits in the ring and looks to the heavens, holding the belts close to him. “He is going to remember this forever!” “Ladies and Gentlemen…” Judge begins, “we thank you for being a part of this special SJL Christmas Broadcast…for Annie Eclectic, Ejiro Fasaki, and everyone here in the SJL…especially the new SJL World Champion Alan Clark… …I am Judge Mental William Hearford and we wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and we hope you come back in a few weeks to see just what will happen next! Good night!” Judge wraps the show up as the scene slowly begins to fade on a close-up of Alan Clark, still in the ring celebrating his first World Championship win. Fin. “Merry Christmas To All…And To All A Good Night!”

Jake vs. Spike Jacob Helmsley and Spike Jenkins are in the ring. Suddenly the ELK~! runs out wearing a Santa hat and spears the hell out of them both. Then the ring blows up and everybody dies except Thoth. Happy holidays.

As we return back to SJL's special holiday show Season's Grievings, already in the ring is SJL Commissioner Chris Raynor wearing a referee's shirt, the crowd who recognise him from his SWF days booing away at him. "Welcome back to Season's Grievings." beams Annie Onita. "As you can see, our 'beloved' SJL Commissioner is in the ring, ready to officiate our next match between The Black Angel Aecas, and that turncoat number one contender Landon Maddix. Annie Onita here along with William Hearford, and Ejiro Fasaki..." "NEW SWF WORLD CHAMPION Ejiro Fasaki!" bellows Ejiro gleefully. "Ladies and gentlemen..." interrupts Funyon from the ring, "...the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Firstly, may I introduce the specially self-assigned referee for this contest...SJL Commissioner...CHRRRIIISSS RRRAAAYYYNOOORRR!!!" The crowd boo, as suddenly The Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Suck My Kiss" hits...causing the boos to increase tenfold, as Landon Maddix steps through the curtain...stopping on the stage and raising his arms cockily in the air. Strutting down to the ring, Maddix avoids the outstretched arms of some of the fans, walking down to the ring slowly. “Introducing first…on his way to the ring. Hailing from Huron, South Dakota…he weighs two hundred and six pounds…he is the number one contender to the SJL Heavyweight Championship…and he is the Disciple of Todd…LAAANDOOON ‘LA CUCARACHA’ MAAADDIIIX!!!” Maddix rolls into the ring, raising his arms in the air to a crescendo of Alaskan boos. Quickly Maddix walks over to referee Raynor, shaking his hand with a disingenuous smile on his face…Raynor returning the favor. Suddenly…the lights go out, and the crowd scream away in delight as a graveyard bell rings ominously. The Smarktron displays a figure shrouded in darkness, stabs of lights highlighting the scales of the instantly recognizable winding tattoo that spreads itself across his chest. The stabs of light travel slowly up the figures body highlighting the blank white orb of an eye as a deep voice reverberates through the arena speakers. "Are you scared?" The voice echoes for a moment before the crowd shout out along with the voice… "HE’S HERE…" Dark Funeral's “Dead Skin Mask” blasts out from the arena speakers as a lighting flash highlights Aecas on the Smarktron, a sadistic grin on his face. Red lights begin to strobe around the arena, as the Smarktron plays Aecas’ entrance movie. Thick smoke quickly fills up the entrance way, filling the air and carpeting the floor. A single, deep red spotlight picks out Aecas as he stands in amongst the smoke, staff raised high in the air. “And the opponent. Hailing from Shrewsbury, England. He weighs in at three hundred fifteen pounds…he’s is the Black Angel…he is AAAEEECAAASSS!!! He enters the ring through the ropes as the lights slowly come up, as Aecas’ face becomes indifferent and impassive once again. Referee Raynor slowly walks over to Aecas, hand outstretched looking for a gentlemanly shake…Aecas though just glares right through Raynor. “Raynor wants to be careful what he’s doing here…Aecas doesn’t look in a good mood tonight.” comments Annie. “Surprise, surprise.” adds WORLD CHAMPION Ejiro. Raynor takes a daring step closer, and still looks for a handshake…as Maddix takes advantage, diving forwards beside Raynor and landing a series or right hands to the temple of Aecas. Raynor frantically calls for the bell, as Maddix continues to fire right hands at Aecas. As he wails away, the Alaskan crowd begins an “AECAS” chant, which seemingly fires the big man up. He suddenly reaches out, and clasps both his huge hands around Maddix’s throat, causing him to drop to his knees. Then with very little effort Aecas hurls Maddix into the corner, before nailing an uppercut, the force of which sends Landon crashing over the top rope and to the floor! “Aecas suddenly EXPLODED into life, and what an uppercut.” yells a suddenly more vocal William Hearford. Maddix regains his feet on the outside, looking shocked at Aecas’ outburst. Meanwhile the big man slowly goes to the outside too, and grabs Maddix by the hair. Shouting something to Maddix, Aecas throws the Disciple forward…head first into the steel retaining barrier, much to the fans delight. Meanwhile in the ring Raynor seems not to be doing much, as Aecas again slams Maddix into the steel. “AECAS! AECAS! AECAS!” The chants start early, as Maddix groggily stumbles to the apron…Aecas driving his knee into Landon’s back before throwing him into the ring. Aecas follows in, and charges towards Landon, the smaller man ducking under a huge clothesline before launching himself into the air, both feet connecting with Aecas’ face as Landon dropkicks him on the return. Aecas staggers from the dropkick’s impact, as Landon, seeing an advantage, runs to the ropes and delivers a second high dropkick, this time to Aecas’ chest staggering the big man again but not putting him down. “Maddix has Aecas reeling from those dropkicks!” Judge says surprised. “Yeah but he’s going to have to pull out something bigger.” buts in Annie. “He’s not going to keep Aecas down with just dropkicks.” Landon runs back into he ropes and tries for a third dropkick, but this time Aecas swats his feet aside and Landon falls to the mat, to the amusement of most of the crowd. Quickly Aecas grabs Landon, dragging him back up to his feet and slamming a knee into his stomach. As the Disciple’s knees buckle and he doubles over, Aecas hooks Landon’s right arm, and then his left before leaping up and dropping him headfirst into the canvas. “Double Arm DDT!” comments Judge. “Beautiful execution too.” “Just like I said Will, dropkicks aren’t enough.” Annie replies. Pulling Landon up once more, Aecas hooks one arm around the young rookie’s head before grabbing a handful of tights. Aecas then takes a quick, threatening glance at Chris Raynor, before popping his hips and taking Maddix up into a suplex. As he reaches the peak of the suplex though, Landon manages to wriggle out of Aecas’ grasp and lands on his feet behind. Before Aecas can react, Landon jumps forward hooking an arm around the back of Aecas’ head, and bulldogging his him face-first into the mat. Getting up, Maddix is greeted with boos…which he just smiles off. Aecas very quickly starts to get up from the Bulldog, but meets Landon’s boots as he dropkicks him in the face once more. “Two men who know each other very well here. These men have met many times in the past…” “Yeah, too many times.” adds Ejiro. “Poor Landon shouldn’t even be in this match.” “And why not?” asks Annie. “Well…he’s not in the best of conditions. His back and ribs have been hurting all week. He should have been given the show off…” “Oh please.” “Well…he should have.” Aecas stumbles back, as Maddix tries to irish whip him to the corner. The big man stands firm though, and Maddix doesn’t have enough power to throw Aecas across the ring. Instead Aecas reverses, sending Maddix crashing into the opposite corner…before following in with a body (and ring) shaking clothesline! Unable to stands Landon collapses forwards, as Aecas flips him onto his back, and drops a big leg across the throat. Quickly Aecas goes for a cover, as Raynor is down to count… …ONE… …TWO… …Shoulder up. Landon cannot get to his feet before Aecas drives a hard knee into the ribs, and follows up quickly with a second. Now relentless, the big man drops two more knees into Maddix’s rib area before Raynor finally calls for a break. As he does though, Aecas takes exception…getting right into Raynor’s face. “Don’t do anything stupid Aecas…” Aecas balls up his fist…causing Raynor to flinch, and turn away in cowardice. This however gives Maddix chance to throw his arm up between Aecas’ legs, and nail an undetected lowblow! “BOOOOOO!!!” Aecas’ knees lock together in instinct as if he were a nun, and he falls to the mat clutching his groin as Maddix innocently gets up. Raynor turns around oblivious to what just happened, as quickly Maddix begins to climb up to the top rope. “Well, Aecas is helpless here after that damn lowblow…” starts Judge. “Aecas was going to hit poor Chris. Landon SAVED him.” Ejiro argues. “Oh, come on Ejiro. That’s lame, even for you.” Slowly Aecas gets back to his feet, a pained expression on his face. Meanwhile Maddix has made it to the top rope, and quickly gains his balance. Aecas spins around to face him, as Maddix dives off, wiping Aecas out with an impressive high crossbody. Maddix lands across Aecas’ chest, and stays there for the cover… …ONE… …TWO… …Aecas kicks out, after what seemed to be a decidedly quicker count. Landon helps the big Black Angel up to his feet, before hitting a series of forearms across the jaw to rock him. With Aecas stunned, Landon runs off the ropes, and comes back with a flying forearm…knocking the dazed seven footer off his feet. As Aecas’ body crashes to the mat, Maddix follows it up with a quick legdrop across the head…before getting quickly up, and flexing his muscles…the crowd booing him for his obnoxiousness. “Aecas is still feeling the effects of that lowblow…it may have knocked the wind out of him.” comments Hearford. “Well…I’ve heard some stories that would point to the contrary…” “Let’s not go there Ejiro. You want to live through your title reign, right?” Eventually Landon breaks away from the crowd, and makes a cover on Aecas… …ONE… …T… LANDON GETS LAUNCHED INTO THE AIR!!! Landon lands on hands and knees, and exchanges a shocked look with Raynor…as Aecas sits up! Maddix frantically launches onto Aecas and hits right hand after right hand to the head of Aecas, but still the monster is getting up! Regardless, Maddix keeps throwing the fists…until Aecas reaches out with his right arm, grabbing a hold of Maddix’s throat. With sheer ease, Aecas lifts Maddix from off the mat… …and DRILLS him with a one handed chokeslam! “Oh…my…god…” Ejiro mumbles. “He’s alive! The monster is alive!” shouts Annie, before cackling manically. Maddix lays crumbled up on the mat, as Aecas looks around, the crowd going wild for him. Quickly he grabs a hold of Maddix by the hair, and drags him up to his feet. Landon looks to already be out, but Aecas doesn’t mind…grabbing Maddix’s wrist, he forcibly irish whips Landon into the corner. Aecas charges in after…but somehow Maddix manages to get his feet up into the face of the big man. Aecas is backed up a step…as he charges in again, to be met with the feet to the face again. Maddix hops up to the middle rope, and gives the signal for the Crash Landon, as the crowd boo away. “Landon’s looking to end this one right now!” gasps Hearford. Aecas slowly walks in, and gets his head hooked over Maddix’s right shoulder. Launching himself into the air, Landon starts to twist around looking to hit the Crash Landon…but suddenly Aecas falls back, just at the right time to send Maddix crashing jaw first into the top turnbuckle!!! “OOOHHHHH!!!” “What a counter by Aecas!” gasps Hearford…again. “Aecas had that one scouted, from these two’s prior meetings.” comments Annie in reply. Slumped up in the corner, head propped against the top turnbuckle, Landon looks in a sorry state. Aecas is up behind him, driving a couple of knees into the lower back of the number one contender, before throwing Maddix aside. Somehow Landon is still on his feet, but he doesn’t know where he is. He also doesn’t see Aecas charging towards him, and diving forward with a GOOOOORRREEE~! which almost breaks him fully in half. Aecas grabs Maddix’s limp leg, hooking it for a cover… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …Maddix’s shoulder is up! …apparently… “Good judgment call from Raynor!” Ejiro beams, clapping his hands too. “Wait…Landon’s shoulders a flat on the canvas…why the hell did Raynor stop counting?” questions Annie. “No…his should was clearly up…it’s just…dropped back.” “Then why isn’t he counting now?” “Well, because Aecas is getting up from the cover.” The crowd are booing away, as Raynor indicates that Maddix’s shoulder was in fact off the ground. Aecas meanwhile is seething…and as he gets up, he looks towards Raynor. Suddenly realizing what he has done, Raynor backs off as Aecas is stepping ever closer to him, like a scene in a horror move. “BULL-SH*T…BULL-SH*T…BULL-SH*T” The crowd express their opinion, as suddenly Aecas does the same…grabbing a hold of Raynor’s referee’s shirt, to a huge roar from the crowd. Raynor starts begging off…as suddenly, Maddix is up behind Aecas. Aecas doesn’t notice him, and places Raynor in between his legs, ready to hoist him into the Executioner. Landon sees this and dives into action, running off the ropes in front of Aecas… …but as he comes back, Aecas throws Raynor off and catches Maddix with an awesome powerslam!!! “Good GAWD what a powerslam!” shouts Hearford, as the crowd seemingly agree. Landon instinctively gets back to his feet, as Aecas is waiting with a stiff knee to the gut. Hooking up Landon’s arm in a Hiptoss position, Aecas drives his knee twice more into the ribs of Maddix, each knee lifting Maddix high off the mat from the impact. After a third knee, Aecas hurls Landon across the ring with a hiptoss, before strolling over to where Landon had landed. “Landon is in trouble here.” points out Annie. “If Raynor won’t count the pinfall, then Aecas will end it by killing Maddix. It’s as simple as that.” “The scary thing is Annie, you may be right.” Judge agrees. Aecas grabs a hold of Maddix’s blonde hair and forcibly pulls him off the mat, before hitting him with another knee to the gut…and setting him up in the Executioner position. However Maddix is able to counter with a lowblow, which Raynor just happens to miss again. Aecas yells out in pain, as Maddix is able to get back to his feet…and wearily drop Aecas to the mat with a snap DDT. Aecas’ head crashes into the mat, as Landon is already up and on the move…climbing up to the top rope. Aecas shows no signs of moving, as Landon leaps off the ropes… …Aecas shows signs of moving, i.e he moves, and Landon crashes gut first to the canvas missing a frog splash! “AECAS! AECAS! AECAS!” The crowd will Aecas on, as Landon slowly gets to his feet. Leaping in the air, Maddix tries to clothesline the seven footer…but he somehow manages to duck a clothesline from a near six footer. Landon cannot get his wits about him, as Aecas grabs onto Landon with a waistlock…before falling back, and driving Maddix to the mat with a VICIOUS german suplex, Landon landing squarely on his head! The Black Angel holds onto a waistlock, as a still recovering Raynor drops down for the count… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …REEE!!! AECAS WINS!!! “NO!” yells Ejiro in disbelief, as the bell rings. The crowd roar in approval, and “Dead Skin Mask” hits again, as Aecas releases his bridge, and raises his arms triumphantly in the air. Upon seeing all this, Raynor rolls from the ring and goes over to Funyon at ringside…whilst Aecas continues his celebrations. “Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… …LANDON, ‘LA CUCARACHA’, MAAADDIIIX!!!” “WHAT!?!” exclaims Annie. “YES!” Ejiro quickly shouts out in delight. “MADDIX WINS!” “Raynor counted Aecas’ shoulders down…but not Landon’s!?!” questions Judge. “Yeah…judgment call.” “Oh yeah, ‘judgment call’ my ass.” Annie outbursts. “Dead Skin Mask” stops, and “Suck My Kiss” replaces it as Maddix quickly rolls out of the ring and starts to get the hell out of the arena. Meanwhile Raynor tries to do the same…but gets caught…BY AECAS!!! Raynor tries to run…but Aecas grabs him by the throat, clearly not too pleased at what just went down. Quickly Raynor resorts to begging off…but doesn’t get too far, as Aecas suddenly pushes him into the steel barricade, to a HUGE pop from the crowd. Raynor is hurt from the collision with the steel, and staggers back into Aecas’ waiting arms… …SPINEBUSTER ON THE STEEL RAMP TO RAYNOR~!!! “HAPPY HOLIDAYS CHRIS!” gleefully shouts Annie, as the crowd explode into cheers. Raynor convulses in pain on the steel, as a justified Aecas turns his attentions to Landon Maddix…who has just escaped through the curtain. Quickly Aecas is off, walking with a purpose up the ramp as his name echoes around the arena, being chanted by the delighted Alaskan fans. “Chris Raynor got what he deserved!” Annie forcibly states. “Well, whever he did or didn’t…it won’t be too much of a happy holiday for Chris Raynor, after this. Folks…we’ll be back right after this!”

The camera fades back from commercial, and pans around the arena, showing off a sold out crowd (and in Juneau, no less!). We see signs in the audience, such as “Royal Pain in the Ass!”, “Don’t Cross the Demon”, and a giant Alan “Clark Bar”. The camera finally comes to rest on the announcer’s table, where we see “Judge Mental” William Hearford, Ejiro Fasaki, and Annie Eclectic. Judge: Welcome back to SJL WRATH SEASON’S GRIEVINGS!!! Ejiro: Geez, Judge, could you say that any more homosexually? Annie: You got something against homosexuals, Ejiro? Ejiro: Only the guys, Annie dear. Annie: I always thought you two would make a cute couple. Ejiro: WHAT? Judge: US??? Ejiro: No way! Sorry to spoil your fantasy, Annie, but Justice and Rule are NOT gay! Annie: Sure, sure, whatever you say. Judge: ...So anyway, up next we have a #1 contendership match for the European title. Newcomer David Cross will be facing the returning Jimmy Liston. Ejiro: Judge may be, but not me, baby. Judge: HEY! Funyon enters the ring, microphone in hand. Upon seeing that he is ready to speak, a hush falls over the arena. Well, as much of a hush as you’re going to get in Juneau, Alaska. Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s second event is scheduled for one fall, and is for the #1 contendership for the SJL European Championship. The crowd goes as wild as a sold out crowd in Juneau can. Ozzy Osbourne’s “Back on Earth” begins to play as David Cross walks out to the ring, focused on the ring as the crowd cheers and the small bit of pyro goes off behind him. Cross enters the ring, absent mindely slapping hands. Funyon: Entering first, weighing in at 265 lbs, from Oil City, Pennsylvania, DAVID CROSS!!! Cross takes off his leather and cross, and sets them aside. He stands ready, waiting for his opponent to come out. Ejiro: Hey, I just looked at tonight’s card... There’re TWO #1 contender matches for the European title! Annie: Yup. The next one is between Helmsley and Jenkins. Ejiro: So, who will be the #1 contender after tonight’s show? Judge: I dunno. Guess we’ll have to wait until 2004 before we find out. Ejiro: DAMMIT!!! The lights go dark. A string orchestra can be heard playing a sweetly disturbing tune. The Smarktron comes to life, simply displaying a white ankh. Pyros flash as they climb the ramp, from ringside to entrance. The screen flashes as drums and guitar join in Cradle of Filth's "Born in a Burial Gown". A burst of flame announces the arrival of Liston. On the Smarktron, a collection of clips of previous matches starts up. Liston is seen Hunting Todd Royal, Tormenting Leo Breslin, hitting Blazenwing with the Damnation, and the video culminates with a shot of Liston on the turnbuckle, jumping and landing a Demon Headbutt on Craig McLennan. Red lights accompany Liston as he walks down the ramp to ringside, his eyes seemingly focused on some invisible object floating in front of his face. Funyon: Now making his way to the ring, weighing in at 228 lbs, from Boston, Massachusetts, JIMMY “THE DEMON” LISTON!!! Liston slides into the ring, climbs the near turnbuckle, and, just as the tempo picks up, he thrusts his fist into the air in time with the music. He jumps from the top turnbuckle, and walks to the far side of the ring as the house lights are brought up, and the music fades. Judge: That’s a nice new video package for Liston. Ejiro: Yeah, let’s see if he can live up to his new attitude. *DING DING DING* Judge: And this match has begun. Both Liston and Cross seem to be taking this one cautiously. Liston needs a win here, considering his past record. And Cross wants this win, to keep his career moving in the right direction. Cross and Liston stand on opposite sides of the ring, staring each other down. They proceed toward the center of the ring, and grapple at each other. Liston appears to get the upper hand, and whips Cross into the ropes. Liston prepares to clothesline Cross as he comes running back, but Cross surprises him by leaping in the air and landing a kick in Liston’s chest. Liston staggers back, and Cross immediately runs forward and spears his opponent. Judge: Look at the punishment Liston is taking, and the match has only just begun. Ejiro: No kidding. It looks like this will be a short match. Liston gets to his feet. Cross grabs Liston’s head, and slams his fist into it. Liston staggers back into the corner, and Cross continues to abuse his opponent’s face. Liston leans more and more on the ropes, losing his strength like it was the blood running from his nose. Cross lifts Liston up to the top rope, and tries to pull Liston to his feet. Liston sends a punch to Cross’ midsection, and sends his opponent on his way to the mat below. Ejiro: What was Cross thinking? There’s no way he could have pulled any top-rope maneuver off this quickly, even against Liston. Judge: Now his momentum has been broken. Liston has a chance to turn this fight around. Liston gets to his feet. He looks at his opponent, writhing on the mat. Liston looks out to the crowd. They understand what’s going to happen, and they begin to cheer. Judge: Liston’s going for the Demon Headbutt! Ejiro: NO, DON’T DO IT!!! Annie: Do it. Get this joke of a match over with. Liston jumps. Cross rolls out from under the jump, and Liston faceplants into the mat. Annie: Ooh, that can’t be good for his nose. Judge: And I think that Liston’s nose is broken now. Ejiro: No, no, wait a moment. Liston gets to his feet. Cross runs against the ropes, runs up behind Liston, jumps in the air and drives Liston’s face back into the mat. Ejiro: NOW his nose is broken. Judge: Damn, Cross knows how to stop Liston. Ejiro: Not really a hard thing to do. Cross pulls Liston off the mat, and into a standing headscissors. Judge: It looks like Cross is going for the Black Mass! This could be it!!! Cross tries to lift Liston, but fail. Instead, Liston rises, carrying Cross up and over. Cross is quickly to his feet, runs towards Liston, and receives a big boot. Cross goes down, and Liston quickly pulls his opponent up and into a sleeperhold. Judge: Cross was too anxious to finish this match. Ejiro: I wish it would end… this is getting boring. Cross reaches out, and grabs the ropes. Liston breaks the hold, and allows Cross to get to his feet. Cross turns as Liston comes running, driving his shoulder into Cross’ midsection. Liston keeps going, and the two fall through the ropes and down to ringside. They both stay on the ground, writhing as the count begins... ONE! TWO! Judge: That had to hurt for both of them. Neither one looks ready to get up. Ejiro: Well, did you see the way Cross’ head cracked on the ground? I’ll bet he’s out cold. Annie: Liston doesn’t seem to be doing too well either. FIVE! SIX! Judge: Liston is getting up. Liston is trying to get back in the ring. Cross is still out! SEVEN! EIGHT! Judge: Liston is climbing the apron. And Cross is up, too. Cross is making his way to the ring! NINE! TE… Liston is over the ropes, and Cross slides under before the count. Cross immediately goes on the offensive, and whips Liston into the corner. Cross throws him an elbow, then lifts Liston to the top rope. Judge: Oh no, not this again. Ejiro: If Cross didn’t try to end this quickly, he would save himself a lot of abuse. It really isn’t easy to keep Liston down. Once again, Cross pulls Liston to his feet. Cross attempts a superplex, but Liston snaps up and clutches his hand around Cross’ throat. Cross struggles, but can not free himself as Liston lifts, jumps, and drives Cross into the mat. Judge: CHOKESLAM FROM THE TOP ROPE! LISTON COULD HAVE THIS MATCH RIGHT NOW! Liston goes for the cover... ONE! TWO!! THREEE~NO!!! Cross gets his shoulder up before the count is finished. Liston pulls Cross to his feet, and into a standing headscissors. Liston lifts Cross into a powerbomb position, pushes out on Cross’ hips, and grabs his head, sending it down into the mat. Judge: DESCENT!!! DESCENT!!! Ejiro: You don’t need to shout, we’re right here. We saw what happened. Liston rolls Cross into a pin, and holds the ropes for leverage... ONE! TWO!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *DING DING DING* Liston still has Cross in the pin, while Cross is desperately trying to kick out. Referee Matthew Kivell comes up to Liston and tells him to break it up as Cradle of Filth’s “Born in a Burial Gown” strikes up. Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, JIMMY LISTON!!! Annie: Finally, this stupid match is over. Judge: Are you kidding? This match went way too quickly. Ejiro: Annie has no tolerance for Liston. You know that. Annie: True, but who really does? The man is an ass. Judge: As was proven tonight, by his win. Ejiro: What? Liston won fair and square. Annie: But it was a pretty cheap move, to use the ropes to keep Cross from kicking out. Judge: Well, it’s over with now. We won’t see Liston again until next year. Annie: Good riddance, too. The camera fades back to commercial with an image of Liston, walking up the ramp to the backstage area.

*BOOM!* “THIS!” *BOOM!* “IS!” *BOOM!* “SEASON’S GRIEVINGS!” *BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!” And then, suddenly, the arena lights go red. “GO!” *BOOM!* Pyro goes off, as the Arena in Juneau’s sound system begins to blast “Man Without Fear” by Drowning Pool featuring Rob Zombie. Daredevil comes out slowly walking towards the ring, with a billy club in his hand. He slowly enters the ring, raising his arms as Funyon announces his arrival. “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled as an ELIMINATION match, with the stipulation being a SNOOOOOOOOOOW-BAAAAAAALL FIIIIIIIGHT! Introducing first, he hails from … someplace, weighing in at two-HUNDRED and SEVEN pounds… DAAAAAAAAARE DEVIL!” “HA!” screams our SWF World Champion, Ejiro Fasaki. “DARE Devil! Like that program in schools!” “… still hung over, Edge?” chides the table’s lesbian, Annie ‘Ichiban’ Onita. “BIIIIIIIG GIIIIIIIIIRLS DOOOOOOOON’T CRYYYYYYYYY!” “Big Girls Don’t Cry” kicks up, as “Fruity” Frankie Deed comes out, wearing a bright pink cowboy hat. He grins as he gallops down the ramp, slapping his white ass as the crowd groans. “You know, it’s gimmicks like this that make me ashamed to commentate this league,” says Judge, rubbing his sore neck. “It’s men like you who turned me lesbian,” quips Annie, eliciting a slap to the back of the head from Ejiro. “And his opponent, weighing in at two-hundred and thirteen pounds, from Scranton, Pennsylvania… “FRUUUUUUUUITY” FRANKIE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!” The lights dim out as the opening chords of "This Is The New Shit" by Marilyn Manson screech through the arena as the fans give a halfhearted chorus of boos. As the bass chords shake the ground beneath the people, Sean Casey steps into a single spotlight. All that can be seen are blue tights and the dim shadow of his face, covered by a black towel. He stalks down to the ring, a man on a mission, and quickly climbs into the ring and stands in the center, head lowered. In one quick motion he grabs the towel off his head and tosses it into the crowd. Fans can be seen wrestling for it in the foreground. He pulls his shirt off in another quick display and tosses it to the outside of the ring. He raises his arms to the side in a crucifix pose as the music begins to fade away. “Listen to the apathy for these three men, Ejiro,” Judge says. “Can you imagine what it would be like if people didn’t care about us?” “Why, it’d positively lick nuts, Judge!” “Like Annie!” Justice and Rule share a chuckle as Annie mumbles incoherent mumblings. Funyon raises the mic again. “And their opponent, weighing in at two-hundred twenty-seven pounds, he hails from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, “LIIIIIVEWIIIIIRE” SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN CAAAAAAASEY!” The crowd gives halfhearted boos, and then the arena lights go down! Red and green lights begin to flash all over the arena, as Funyon grabs the microphone again. “And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for! The wrestler everybody… and we mean everybody… has paid to see!” The red and green lights cease, and then the voice of Bruce Springsteen comes over the loudspeakers… “Santa Claus is comin’… to town!” BOOM! Red and green pyro goes off at the top of the entrance ramp, and Santa Claus leaps through it, Goldberg-style! The fans go crazy as Santa slaps the hands of everybody around ringside, his white beard showing a smile underneath as he bounces up and down a couple of times before sliding into the ring! “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED FORTY ONE POUNDS, HE HAILS FROM THE NOOOOOOOOORTH POLE, HE IS THE GREATEST WRESTLER ALIVE, ALL OF YOU SHOULD BOW… TO SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTA CLAAAAAAAAAUS!” “SAN – TA! SAN – TA!” “Listen to the cheers for Santa!” orgasms Annie. “He is the man!” “Actually, Annie,” sneers Ejiro. “I’m the man.” “Oh, blow a goat.” Santa slides into the ring, but catches a snowball to the head from all three men as referee Jefferson Harding calls for the bell! *DING DING DING!* Frankie, Casey and Daredevil all rush over to Santa, catching him as he is distracted by the snowballs thrown at him from three directions. Frankie and Daredevil grab Santa by both arms, whipping him hard into the ropes. Santa hits them and comes back hard, as Frankie and Daredevil both grab Casey, lifting him up into an elevated Lou Thesz Press on Santa! The fans boo as Casey begins punching Santa in the head, as Daredevil and Deed hold Claus’ legs down! Harding gets down, counting the pinfall attempt… “ONE!” “TWO!” “TH – NO!” Santa grabs Casey around the legs, sitting up and rolling Casey into a pinning position! “LOOK AT THE UPPER BODY STRENGTH OF SANTA!” cries Annie. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THRE – NO!” Casey rolls backwards, and Deed and Daredevil get to their feet, allowing Santa to get up as they grin sadistically. “The odds are stacked against Santa,” says Judge. “None of these three men want to see Claus win!” “They can all go to hell,” Ejiro says with a smirk. “It’s Christmas, give the fans what they want – SAN – TA! SAN – TA!” Deed rushes up to Santa, punching him in the head... but Santa begins to shake, putting both of his fists together! "THE SLEIGH IS TAKING OFF!" screams Annie. Casey, now, rushes in and tries to clothesline Santa... but it is no use, as Claus shrugs it off! Santa bends down, grabbing two handfuls of snow... AND SHOVES IT IN DEED AND CASEY'S FACE! "DOUBLE WHITEWASH! DOUBLE WHITEWASH!" Daredevil, now, charges Santa, trying to break the double whitewash... but SANTA LIFTS A HUGE BOOT AND TAKES DAREDEVIL'S JAW OFF! "HE JUST STUFFED HIS STOCKING, MY GOD!" Daredevil goes down beneath Santa, and Claus puts a giant boot on Daredevil's stomach as he continues to hold Deed and Casey in a double whitewash! Harding makes the count! "OOOOOONE!" And Deed yells out, "I GIVE UP!" "TWOOOOOO!" And Casey yells out, "I GIVE UP!" "THREEEEEEEE!" AND DAREDEVIL GETS PINNED! *DING DING DING!* "Your winner, at thirty-seven seconds... SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN-TA CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUS!" "SANTA JUST BEAT THREE MEN AT ONCE! THIS IS SO EXCITING WE HAVE TO CUT IMMEDIATELY TO OUR NEXT MATCH!"

SJL WRATH: SEASON'S GRIEVINGS Venue: The Arena in Juneau, Alaska! If there wasn't one before, there is one now. Date: Sunday, December 21, 2003 @ 9 PM EST Send Promos & Marked Matches To: Longdogger_Pete Note: This is the last SJL show of the year! We'll take two weeks off for the holidays and then get back on our regular schedule in January. In the meantime, you're certainly welcome to write promos as often as you like. SNOWBALL BATTLE ROYAL Daredevil vs. Sean Casey vs. "Fruity" Frankie Deed vs. Santa Claus Description: This has got to be a better idea than the Ball Crawl match. Since the Juneau Arena's heating system is broken, the temperature in the arena is already below freezing (yay). So therefore, there's no premature chance of melting for the four piles of snowballs that are piled in each corner of the ring. This is a standard match, win by pinfall or submission, but there are no countouts and snowballs are legal weapons. Have at it. Word Limit: 4000 Send To: Ace309 #1 CONTENDER MATCH - SJL EUROPEAN TITLE David Cross vs. Jimmy "The Demon" Liston Description: Cross has impressed since debuting recently in the SJL. Liston returns from a hiatus. Both have something to prove. This is the first of two European title contendership matches. Standard rules. Word Limit: 4000 Send To: Kibagami SPECIAL REFEREE MATCH Aecas vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix Guest Referee: Chris Raynor Description: Maddix has already earned himself the #1 contendership to the SJL World Championship and will likely be cashing it in on the first show of the year. But what will this mean for his alliance with Todd Royal? In the meantime, Maddix takes on Aecas in a classic match, but this one could be a little chaotic with the shady officiating of the guest referee: the SJL commissioner, Chris Raynor. Standard rules. Word Limit: 5000 Send To: Longdogger_Pete #1 CONTENDER MATCH - SJL EUROPEAN TITLE Jacob Helmsley vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins Description: The second of two European title contendership matches pits veteran grapplers Jacob Helmsley against Spike Jenkins. Pain and chaos abounds! Word Limit: 5000 Send To: Thoth MAIN EVENT SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE Todd Royal vs. Alan Clark Description: It's the match you've all been waiting for -- the final showdown between mega-heel Todd Royal and Disney sponsored Alan Clark. It's champion versus champion one more time, but only the World title is on the line. Will Todd Royal be able to keep the gold and continue the Second Era of Todd into the new year? Or will Alan Clark wrap up the year walking out with both of the Smarks Junior League's titles? Find out Sunday! Oh, did I mention -- Falls Count Anywhere! Word Limit: 6500 Send To: Longdogger_Pete

Hah! We're open Christmas Day. But I'm refusing to work.

Now, now. I said he was shady. I never said he was incompetent. "ONE!" "TWO!" "..." "..." "uh... SMASH!"

Marker changed on Aecas/Maddix match.

Returning to the Burt Flickenger Center from another commercial break, we go straight over to Ejiro, Judge and Annie as in the background the crowd are their usually vocal selves. “Welcome back to Metal here in Buffalo New York. I’m Judge William Hearford, with my colleagues Ejiro Fasaki and Annie Eclectic…and folks, it’s main event time. And, we all know who’s coming up…” “Oh do we Judge. Do we ever!” chimes in Ejiro. “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a new hero Landon Maddix, who has finally seen the light. The light…of Todd. And tonight, that light will shine this AMAZING athlete to victory over Spike ‘HOLLY-SUCK’ Jenkins.” “Feeling fickle tonight Ejiro, aren’t we.” replies Annie. ”Last week Maddix was as bad as Spike.” “But that was until he joined with Todd. Greatness is contagious Annie…hell, after these past months with me and Judge, you’re almost tolerable yourself.” “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…” Funyon cuts in. “The following contest is our MAIN EVENT…and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first…” "An' I'm sailin'...yeah!" "Suck My Kiss" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers starts up, causing the entire Burt Flickenger Center to suddenly be filled with rapturous boos! As the song moves into the lyrics, Landon Maddix steps out from behind the curtain to even more heat from the crowd, Landon not bothered by it stands at the top of stage...the lights dim momentarily, as a Todd Royal-like white light falls upon him, and the smiling Maddix raises his arms out in the air. “He hails from Huron South Dakota, and weighs in at two hundred and five pounds…The Disciple of Todd…LANDON ‘LA CUCARACHA’…MAAADDIIIX!!!” The lights quickly return to normal as Maddix slowly walks to the ring, the crowd hurling verbal abuse at him all the way. Brushing past it all, Maddix leaps to the apron, raises his arms and sings along with ‘his’ part of the song... "Hit me you can't hurt me... SUCK MY KISS!" …to even more boos from the hostile New Yorkers. Moving to the corner of the ring, Maddix starts to limber up, as meanwhile a chant of “Landon Sucks” builds up. “This is different…” comments Judge. “I guess the days of Maddix as fan favourite are over.” “You think?” Annie sarcastically replies. Suddenly, the lights dim down in the arena, to cheers from the crowd. A multitude of light blue lights begin flashing from the entrance stage, as "Not Today" by Hotwire starts up. After a few seconds, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins walks out from the backstage area and stops at the entrance ramp, the hood of his jacket covering his head, staring at the ground whilst the crowd continue to cheer away. White pyro explodes from both sides of Spike, as Spike starts hopping around, getting warmed up…Landon watching from the ring, looking unimpressed. “And his opponent. Hailing from Hollywood California! Weighing two hundred twenty five pounds…he is the former SJL World Heavyweight Champion…”HOLLYWOOD”…SPIIIIIKE JEEENKIIINS!!!” Removing his jacket on the stage, Spike throws it to the side before charging down the ramp and sliding into the ring… *DING DING* The bell rings, as Spike and Landon exchange heated right hands against the ropes, the crowd buzzing with each right hand. Eventually, an angry looking Spike gets the advantage, managing to get away from the ropes as Maddix is rocked backwards. As the right hands have an effect on Maddix, Spike stops for a moment before nailing a stiff running clothesline…the force sending Maddix sprawling out of the ring, and crashing to the floor. As he gets there, he’s met by laughter and cheers from the crowd, as Spike raises his arms in the air triumphantly. “Man, listen to this crowd getting on Landon’s case here!” Annie says with obvious joy in her voice. “This is totally not right…” replies Ejiro. “Landon doesn’t deserve this…” “The hell he doesn’t! Any Todd sympathizer deserves this treatment. Especially after what he did to Alan Clark!” The laughter turns to more chants of “Landon Sucks”, as an infuriated Maddix rolls back into the ring, and swings with a right hand at Spike. ‘Mr Hollywood’ ducks it though, and hits a right hand of his own. A couple more follow, before Spike winds up…and clotheslines Maddix out of the ring again! Maddix is again met with laughter by the crowd, as Spike looks in total control. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” Again, Maddix angrily rolls into the ring…AND SLAPS SPIKE!!! “HA HA!” laughs Ejiro. “That’s a bitch slap!” Spike holds his cheek from the stinging shot, before charging forward…but Maddix suddenly retreats, and rolls out of the ring away from Spike. Referee Ced Ordonez holds Spike back, as the crowd are on Maddix’s case for his cowardice. Maddix meanwhile tries to block them out, instead yelling at Ordonez to back Spike up. Ordonez does his job, as Maddix rolls back into the ring, and tries to jump Spike while he’s unawares. Jenkins however steps away from Ordonez at the last seconds, and suddenly Landon doesn’t feel so froggy. Spike however does, encouraging Maddix on. “It seems associating with Todd is not good for your bravery levels, eh Ejiro?” Annie says, clearly trying to start an argument. “Nonsense. Landon is just having trouble concentrating with this crowd being so hostile towards him.” “Well, it’s his own fault.” “That is true, after all he’s don…” Judge starts… “Who’s side are you on Judge?” questions Ejiro. “Well…yours, bu…” “Then think before you start to besmirch the Disciple.” Maddix backs away, tugging on the ropes to look like he’s preparing to fight. Both men start to circle the ring moments later, and go to tie up…but Maddix sidesteps, and starts arguing with one of the fans! Sensing Maddix’s hesitation won’t end, Spike decides to kick Maddix stiffly in the kidneys. Another kick connects, before Maddix turns around…into a collar and elbow tie up with Spike. Surprisingly Spike quickly overpowers Maddix and forces him back into the corner. Breaking off from the tie up, Spike suddenly starts to fire a flurry of fists at Maddix’s upper body, as the Disciple tries to cover up. Spike follows the fists up with a slap across the face, before irish whipping Landon across the ring. “Spike is dominant here…this is surprising.” Judge comments. “So much for this being a rebirth for Landon, at least so far…” Maddix crashes into the opposite turnbuckles, as Spike breaks into a sprint. Handspringing across the ring, Spike connects with the Tidal Wave as Maddix is now down and dazed. Spike quickly gets back up, and drags Maddix from the ropes for a cover… …ONE… …TWO… …quick two count. Quickly Spike drags Maddix to his feet, and whips him to the ropes. Maddix has the presence of mind to clutch onto the ropes to stop himself though, causing Spike to stall. After a moment, Spike charges at Maddix, but he’s waiting with a clothesline! The boos instantly start up as Spike hits the mat hard, Maddix smiling sarcastically before driving his boot into Jenkins’ forehead. “WHO SUCKS NOW!?!” yells out Maddix, prompting the boos to get louder. With Spike down, Landon begins to climb to the top rope…but a momentary pause gives Spike to get back up. Maddix too stops, and gets nailed with a right hand to the gut. Quickly Maddix fires back with a right, but gets another from Spike. Spike quickly grabs Maddix, and slams him from the top rope before going up himself. Getting to the top Spike raises an arm in the air, trying to get crowd support…as suddenly Maddix shoves Ordonez forwards, sending him into the ropes, and crotching Spike across the top turnbuckle! “Oh come ON!” Annie disgustedly says. “The old Landon Maddix would never have done that.” adds Judge. “Yeah…the old Landon Maddix would have stood there while Spike came off the top on him.” retorts Ejiro. The crowd boo wildly, as referee Ordonez warns an innocent looking Maddix to watch himself. Landon just ignores him though, walking over to Spike and hitting a right hand. From his precarious position Jenkins fires back, but Landon replies with five or six stiff shots, before climbing up to the middle rope. A couple more right hands connect from Maddix, until Spike reaches forwards and grabs Maddix’s tights, and pulling Maddix forwards. Maddix swings out in a desperate attempt to connect with Spike, but he ducks and Maddix crashes over the top rope, and to the floor hard!!! “OOOOHHHHH!!!” The crowd gasp in shock, as Landon takes a hard fall. Immediately Referee Ordonez rolls to the outside, as Spike hops down from the ropes. Quickly Spike rolls from the ring, grabs Ordonez and shoves him to one side…before stomping away on Maddix’s fallen body. Relentlessly, boot after boot crashes down upon Landon, the crowd having no sympathy for Maddix’s state. “This isn’t fair! This isn’t fair at all!” whines Ejiro. “This should be a disqualification.” “Oh quit your whining.” Annie snaps. “I suppose YOU think this is fair. Landon needs medical assistance, and poor Spike is trying to cripple him for life!” “Oh, stop being so damn melodramatic.” Judge buts in. As the stomps continue, Ordonez quickly intervenes and pulls Spike away, as Maddix continues to lay motionless on the concrete floor. Begrudgingly Spike rolls back into the ring, Ordonez following to make sure Spike stays where he is… …as suddenly, here comes Todd Royal!!! “Oh YES!” beams Ejiro. “Thank Todd he’s back!” “What the hell is the World’s Champion doing out here? This match is barely five minutes old, and Todd is out here to interject himself.” “We might have known.” comments Annie. The crowd gradually notice Todd’s presence, as does Spike who motions for Todd to carry on walking. Megan Skye is by Todd’s side, and the two stop on the stage looking on towards ringside. Spike meanwhile watches on right back… …not noticing Landon Maddix rolling back into the ring behind him. “It’s a set-up!” yells Annie. “Spike’s being distracted…” Maddix sneaks up behind Spike, the crowd’s reaction not enough to warn Spike as he’s suddenly rolled up. Ordonez breaks from Todd too, and quickly makes the count… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …TWWWOOO!!! Maddix can hardly believe it, as Todd too looks a little surprised. Maddix jumps back to his feet and starts to stomp down on Spike furiously, as Todd yells on encouragement from the stage. Spike continues to fight, and eventually gets to his feet…only to be met with a boot to the gut. Hooking Spike’s arm, Maddix raises ‘Hollywood’ up in the air for a suplex…dropping Spike’s feet across the top rope for extra leverage to hit a slingshot suplex. Quickly Landonf loats into another cover… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …Two again! Again Maddix quickly goes back on the offense, hitting a couple of right hands before locking on a brief chokehold, which is cleverly disguised from Ordonez’s view. In the meantime, Todd and Megan are on the move, walking slowly down to ringside as the crowd rise to their feet in anticipation. “Todd and Megan are getting closer to the ring, and that cannot be good.” comments Judge. In the meantime, Landon is on his feet again in a state of readiness. Slowly Spike starts to get back to his feet, as Landon waits…and as Spike regains his footing, Landon fires a superkick towards him. Somehow Spike manages to catch Maddix’s foot though, and pull him forwards for a clothesline. Landon ducks that, and locks on a waistlock…before throwing Spike up and over his head with an impressive overhead release german suplex! “Beautiful move!” exclaims Ejiro. “Todd’s sheer presence is proving inspiration for Landon!” From the outside Todd yells at Maddix to make the cover, which despite being against his plans, Landon does… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …ANOTHER kickout by Spike. Landon quickly pulls Jenkins up by the hair, hitting a knee to the gut and a knee to the face in quick succession to daze ‘Hollywood’. With him dazed, Landon effortlessly throws Spike across the middle rope before backing up. Where as the crowd would have before been buzzing, all Landon now gets are boos as he charges across the ring…using the second and middle ropes to swing around towards Spike, and then away taking Spike with him to the outside with a headscissors. “The Whiparound! And no…oh, HEY! Look at Todd!” As Maddix starts complaining of a very sudden knee injury to referee Ordonez, Todd Royal is stalking Spike on the outside. Still recovering from the fall to the outside, Spike is unable to move, as Todd nails a running clothesline! “BOOOOOO!!!” “TODD WITH A CLOTHESLINE! TODD WITH A CLOTHESLINE!” Ejiro goes into hyperbole. “And you KNEW it was going to happen, the moment Todd and Megan appeared out here!” complains Judge. Quickly Todd bundles Spike back into the ring, where Maddix hits a snap legdrop. Quickly he follows up with a cover… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …KICKOUT! “Spike is not giving up here!” points out Annie. “Despite these three on one odds, I might add.” “Three?” questions Ejiro. “I take it you mean the innocent Megan.” “She stopped being innocent long ago!” “Maybe in your putrid little fantasies…” A slight look of frustration appears on Maddix’s face, as he backs up into the corner. A resilient Spike pulls himself up to his feet, as Maddix charges across the ring… …Spike sidesteps… …and Maddix crashes sternum first into the top turnbuckle!!! Slowly he stumbles back, as Spike hits a desperate kick to the kidneys, and a quick reverse DDT, dropping Maddix hard on his head! Now both men are down, as Todd starts vocal encouragement from the outside. Referee Ordonez begins to check both men, but stops as a dazed but still awake Maddix is trying to get up already. “What amazing resilience!” exclaims Ejiro rather comically Using the ropes to hold himself up, Maddix is up first. Spike starts to do the same, but gets a boot to the head from Maddix…before he stumbles to the mat again. Quickly Spike hits a right hand to the kneeling Maddix, before leaping from the mat and nailing a HIGH impact Dangerous Wizard!!! The crowd pop for that, as instead of going for a cover, Spike is up. “SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE!” The crowd get behind Jenkins, as Maddix takes a few seconds to get up. Quickly Spike hits a boot on Maddix, and goes for the Highlighter…but just as quickly, Maddix counters with an armbar takedown. Quickly Spike rolls out of the armbar, before Landon can lock it on, and escapes with a knee to the gut. Maddix is doubles over from the knee, as Spike quickly goes for a kneelift. Landon manages to counter that with a backsuplexs attempt, but Spike is near enough to the ropes to grab a hold of them, and land safely on the apron. “BEHIND YOU LANDON!” Ejiro shouts out. “Shut UP!” Annie yells back. Landon stops, a cocky smile on his face as he thinks he’s gotten rid of Spike. Todd meanwhile is frantic, yelling at Landon to turn around. Confused, he does so…into a high kick to the jaw from Spike! Rocked, Landon staggers back as Spike uses the ropes to springboard into the ring, and hit a springboard missile dropkick! Landon crashes to the mat, as Spike scrambles over and makes a cover… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …R… …NOOOOO!!! “OOOHHHHH!!!” “BOOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd are livid, as Spike questions the count. Landon is meanwhile running on instinct and up on his feet. Spike sees him and hits a back elbow, before running to the ropes. Landon swings with a clothesline, Spike ducks and carries on to the ropes… …but suddenly has his foot grabbed from the outside by Royal! Angrily Spike turns around and kicks out at Todd who avoids the kick…as Landon dives forwards, and catches Spike in the knee with a chopblock! With a howl of pain, Spike crumples to the mat, his leg completely taken out from underneath him. “Todd interferes again! Wow…you must be proud of that GREAT champion, huh Ejiro?” Annie angrily says. “Of course I am! He’s Todd Royal!” “Oh please…” “Ejiro, like it or not…this is not fair. It’s two on one, with Megan out there to make it three if needed.” “She’s just there as eye candy buddy. And what eye candy she makes…DANG~!” Quickly Maddix drags Spike away from the ropes, grabbing his injured right leg and kicking away at it violently. Spike’s face contorts in pain, as Maddix suddenly stops, and big smile on his face. Suddenly, he points down to Todd Royal… …AND LOCKS ON THE WRATH OF TODD!!! “HA HA!!! WRATH OFTODD, WRATH OF TODD, BAH TAWD, THE WRATH OF TODD!!!” Ejiro crazily starts to yell. The crowd are now wildly booing, as Todd now looks a lot happier, laughing away as he watches Spike writhing in pain just metres away from him. “SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE!” The fans start to get behind Spike, as he looks in tremendous pain, Landon having the Wrath of Todd locked in perfectly. Just to make matters worse, Maddix continues to wrench back on the knee, putting more pressure on the move AND preventing Spike from reaching the ropes. “It’s a lost cause. Maddix has the Wrath of Todd on, and we all know how deadly that move is.” Judge mutters, clearly not impressed. “Spike is fighting it though! And this crowd is RIGHT behind Spike too!!!” Annie still has hope. Suddenly, Spike starts to try and turn the hold, much to the shock of Maddix. Spike seems determined to escape, as Maddix watches on, shaking his head both in defiance and shock. From the outside Royal yells advise, but the crowd’s cheers are so loud that they’re drowning him out! Spike meanwhile is still fighting, his whole body shaking in determination. Unable to think of anything to do, Landon suddenly sits up, and starts to fire rapid right hands to the trapped knee of Spike. The rights are soon peppered with left hands too, and eventually this seems to stop Spike. “Spike Jenkins HAS to escape here!” Judge states. “He can’t hold on for too long in this hold, Todd Royal applying it or not.” Eventually the fight has run out for Spike, so Landon can relax for a moment. Wrenching back again, Maddix tightens the hold causing Jenkins to shout out in pain and raise his arm in the air… …Spike looks read to tap… …he has no escape… …and the hand slowly starts to drop… …NO, Spike tries to turn the hold again! “Spike will NOT give up!” exclaims Annie. “That son of a gun is fighting, and he’s fighting to the death!” “Well, Maddix might just kill him then!” replies Ejiro. “Spike will not escape this!” “He’s damn close.” Judge comments. “Maddix was taught this by the master.” “Ric Flair?” “Who? I’m talking about Todd, and you know it. And Todd is right there, telling Maddix how to make Spike suffer. Face it…it’s a matter of time.” The crowd’s chants are near deafening, as Spike tries to turn left… …Maddix leans right, so Spike tries to use that to his advantage, turning right himself! Spike is nearly over, and the crowd now know it! “SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE!” Maddix does too, and starts to nail the right hands to the knee again. Gritting his teeth, Jenkins continues to fight, and is NEARLY over… …but Maddix manages to lean back left, and halt Spike. The fight seems to suddenly seep out of Spike, the right hands to the knee continuing… …SPIKE TAPS OUT!!! *DING DING* “Spike had no choice. Spike HAD to tap.” an unhappy Judge mutters. “YES! The Disciple comes good! Man, this kid is GREAT!” comes Ejiro’s ignorant reply “Here is your winner, via a submission…LANDON MAAADDIIIX!!!” Maddix gets up from the hold, and raises his arms in the air as Todd and Megan roll in to join the celebrations. Spike meanwhile is left writhing on the floor, as Todd passes Landon a microphone. The crowd are in a stunned near silence, some able to boo away at the trio in the ring still as Maddix looks around. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” Landon: “NOT ANYMORE I DON’T!!!” The crowd boo, as Landon just laughs away with Todd. Landon: “(mockingly) Why Landon…why? Why would you turn your back on the fans? Oh why Landon? I’ll tell you why. Because of ingrates like you so called fans in this arena!” More boos from the crowd, as all the happiness has disappeared from Maddix. Meanwhile, Spike is trying to fight back up…but gets stomped back down by Todd Royal. Landon: “Week after week, I’ve come out here and bust my damn ass for you people. And what do I get for it? I get nothing but DIS…RESPECT! You people want to ask why? You want to know if I’ll ever come back to you. Well as a famous person once said…for the reception I got here tonight…you fans can stick it, brotha! I came out here tonight, and I made a former SJL World Heavyweight Champion tap out. I beat his ass last week, along with Aecas’. I have beaten the best in this damn company, and yet I’m still seen as the ‘up-and-comer’? Well…to be honest, that’s BULLSHIT!” Lighter boos from the crowd, as Maddix stops again momentarily. Landon: “Nobody in this company took me seriously. I have beaten World Champion after World Champion. Aecas…Spike Jenkins…hell, even Todd himself. Yet I don’t get the opportunities at the belt. I get put in Fans Bring The Weapons against that psycho Aecas? You call that a fair shot? I get put against loser after loser, I beat them all…and yet, nothing. Hell, I got put in a fucking Pie Match!!! I have won 17 matches…17 matches in this company. And yet, I have NEVER won the World Title. That is BULLSHIT. And I’m not standing for it. But now…now I’m with Todd Royal, and under the great man’s wing…people WILL take me seriously. You will ALL take me seriously. I damn near crippled Alan Clark last week…oop, by the way Alan…get well soon. Todd and Landon laugh, as the crowd boo. Landon: “And this piece of trash beneath me is near enough crippled. So Spike…do YOU take me seriously now? Huh?” Maddix throws down the microphone, and starts stomping on the knee again…the crowd going crazy with boos, as Ordonez tries to hold Maddix back. Refs rush the ring, as Royal joins in…and chaos is breaking out. “This is SICKENING!” exclaims Annie. “This is great, this is great!” Ejiro replies. “Folks…we’ve got to go…all hell is breaking loose…we’ll see you for our Christmas show…Clark vs Royal, don’t miss us!” The show fades out with Maddix and Royal stomping on Spike, the referees trying to regain order as the SJL logo appears over this carnage…

SJL METAL CARD Date: Tuesday, December 16, @ 10 PM EST Venue: The Burt Flickinger Center in the “beautiful” steel belt of Downton Buffalo, New York! Todd Royal and Landon Maddix were given the night off thanks to their performances on Crimson, but then Raynor said Maddix had to fight, in order to cover up for the booker's mad leet typo skilzl. Alan Clark is too hurt to fight. OPENING PROMO: Todd Royal is here! The SJL’s World Champion is here to give his thoughts on his loss to Alan Clark, and to the injuries he caused the Disney-sponsored superstar. Clark is so injured that he won’t be competing tonight. When will he be able to cash in his title shot? Only time will tell. WELCOME WAGON! Daredevil vs. David Cross Description: Daredevil, meet David Cross, one of the most talented rookies we’ve seen in the JL in a long time. David Cross, meet Daredevil, officially licensed JL rookie and bona fide talent, according to his trainer (who just happens to be working for the SWF). Let’s see what you’ve got. Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout apply. CHECKING FOR A PULSE LADDER MATCH “Live~Wire” Sean Casey vs. “Fruity” Frankie Deed Description: These two haven’t been around much lately. We’re wondering if they’ll show up for this one. Rules: Standard ladder match rules, with a stocking full of coal hanging at the top of the ladder. This just screams postmatch shenanigans. LEAD STEEL PIPE CHALLENGE MATCH Jacob Helmsley vs. Santa Claus Description: After the show last week, Jacob sat on Santa’s lap and Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Jake told him, and despite Santa quickly turning white and starting to shake, the dear old man simply can’t refuse. He’s Santa, for god’s sake. Rules: Jacob asked for a Lead Steel Pipe Challenge. There will be several lead steel pipes, Jacob’s specialty weapons, laying outside and under the ring. Lead Steel pipes are legal in this match, but no other weapons are. Outside of the lead steel pipe rule, all rules apply normally. EDIT: You missed one. MAIN EVENT Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix vs. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins Description: One of the top young prospects meets up with the craftiest, highest veteran the JL has ever seen! Old time hockey! Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout apply.

“Marshmallow World” by Dean Martin begins to play over the speakers, as red and green confetti begins to fall from the rafters. Santa Claus comes out, his giganormous stomach shaking as he walks down the ramp. He hits the ring and walks up the steps, the referee holding the ropes open for him. Santa steps through, letting out a loud “HO HO HO!” as Funyon introduces him. “Introducing…. SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTA CLAUS! “Meaning of Life” by Disturbed. Jacob does not taunt the crowd at all coming to the ring. Very slow, demonic like walk style. Funyon makes the intro as Jacob slides into the ring. “Introducing… JACOB HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELMSLEY!” *Ding Ding Ding* Jacob and Santa tie up, and Jacob gains the advantage, whipping Santa into the turnbuckle! Jacob grabs a conveniently placed pipe, and looks to mash it into Santa’s face… but Claus clubs him, knocking Helmsley back! The crowd roars as Santa follows up with another… and another… but Helmsley clubs him in the ribs with the pipe! “OUCH!” says Judge! Santa clutches his ribs, and Jacob continues to lay the beatdown on Santa with the pipe! Santa drops to his knees, and Jacob drops the pipe, putting Santa into a standing headscissors and looking for a powerbomb… but Santa reverses it, lifting Jacob up, holding onto the legs and setting Jacob up for the belly-to-back piledriver… WHUMPH! Right onto the steel pipe! “NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!” orgasms Annie! Santa makes the pin… ONE! TWO! THREE! “SANTA WINS AGAIN!” says Ejiro! …fade to commercial, and God have mercy on my booking for the holiday show…

Twas the show before Christmas, and all through the crowd, Not a creature was sleeping, and they'd all grown quite loud. At ringside was Annie and Justice and Rule, While inside there was Funyon, the poor little tool. The crowd was still hyped from the opening match, As they wondered what else the crack writers could hatch. "This match is for one fall," ol' Funyon decreed, "as we'll see Sean Casey vs. "Fruity" Frankie Deed." Just then from backstage there arose such a clatter, Funyon ran up the ramp to see what was the matter. Ignoring the pyro, the noise and the smoke, Funyon thought as he ran that it must be some joke. Backstage the arena grew quiet once more, But he did hear a sound from the arena's back door. When, what to his big beady eyes did show, But two very large packages stuffed in the snow. The delivery man was so drunk off his wheel, Funyon knew in a moment it must be the Eel. "I found these two sniffing the air near my truck, and I knew that if these two were late, it would suck." "These unfortunate sods would never have my vote, even teaming against guys like the Elk and Cutthroat." "I knew that these two were exceedingly slow, so I wrapped them both up so they wouldn't no show." Then the Memphis Eel snorted and spit on one pack, and his breath had the odor of vodka and Jack. Funyon opened the packs and, behold, it was true, There before him was Casey and Frankie Deed too. "You idiots!" he bellowed as he pulled off a bow, "Do you realize how you two have held up the show?" "I can only imagine what our boss will do," "If you enter and he gets his hands on you two." "Commissioner Raynor will make sure you're jobbed," "To each Laseer Lamont and each Bob the Snob." "I'm sorry," sobbed Casey, "I feel so ashamed," "But it wasn't our fault!" Frankie Deed exclaimed. "We were in the back filming a promo with Gus," "We were clubbed from behind and loaded onto a bus!" "You'll never know the abuse and the pain we went through," "But we'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you!" And then Funyon's brow furrowed, and the man appeared vexed, till he blurted out "Nutshot match! You two are next!" The Memphis Eel smiled as his task was complete, He excused himself quickly and sped down the street. But the Eel did exclaim, as he started to dance, "Merry Christmas to all -- where the hell are my pants?"

Cut back from commercials as we pan the cheering crowd in Buffalo as Annie's voice rings out over the airwaves. “Welcome back to SJL Metal and unfortunately we just got a visit from the despicable SJL champion Todd Royal who tried to end the career of Alan Clark, along with Landon Maddix just a few days ago.” “I know, wasn't it beautiful?” asks Ejiro. “Let's not get started again guys. We've got to focus on the match at end,” The Judge says, trying to defuse a situation before it starts. “Cross versus the new guy,” says Ejiro. “Are you sure we can't just make fun of Mr. Simba and Aladdin who's now in traction?” “Yes, I'm sure,” says The Judge. “As fun as that may be, we do have a job to do.” Funyon's in the ring to a pop as he begins speaking, “Welcome everyone to SJL Metal! The following match is set for one fall with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first...” Let the arena lights turn red as “Man Without Fear” cranks up over the speakers. “...at a weight of two hundred and seven pounds, from Parts Unknown...DAREDEVIL!” PYRO! RED PYRO EVEN as Daredevil comes walking down the ramp to a decent 'we have no idea who you are' face pop. Daredevil comes out slowly walking towards the ring, with billyclub in hand. He slowly enters the ring then raises his arms as Fuyon announces him. “Geez, I knew Gigli didn't do that well, but Affleck's has been forced to wrestling in the SJL!” says Ejiro. “Hmm, maybe I have a chance with J-Lo now.” “One, that’s not Affleck,” Annie says. “Two, even if it was, you'd have no chance with Lopez because her Latina cookie would be mine!” “Can either of you turn your hormones off for a moment?”asks The Judge. “We do have a match here.” cue Funyon again, “Introducing his opponent...” Larger pop than before as the tinny beginning to 'Back on Earth' plays. “...weighing in at two hundred and sixty five pounds, from Oil City, Pennsylvania...DAVID CROSS!” The SJL newcomer shares the same solemn face as he takes off his gear and raising his fist to a pretty good pop! “Cross, one of the four men who had transportation problems last week,” says Ms. Onita. “Lost a shot at the number one cotendership to the European title.” “Bah,” says Ejiro. “He was just afraid of Casey.” “Who was also unable to show.” “Well, that was a true transportation emergency. “Sure.” The two faces circle each other, not ready to lock up. Cross blinks first, charging Daredevil, but the masked hero is ready and quickly makes David taste mat with a quick drop toe hold! As Cross quickly recovers, he walks straight into a big dropkick! Followed by another on as he gets up! “Daredevil, perhaps the quickest man on the SJL roster shows us exactly how fast, getting Cross off his feet,” says The Judge. “I'd wrestle circles around him,” Ejiro says. “Damon was better in Good Will Hunting anyway.” Cross is a little slower to get up, and is pray for a quick kick to the breadbasket and a swinging neckbreaker. Continuing on his beginning roll, Daredevil leaps at his larget opponent and takes him down with a RANA to a pop! He then kips up his feet, goes off the near ropes and... “...Asai Moonsault by Daredevil knocks the wind out of Cross,” exclaims Annie. “This guy is impressing me, keeping right on his larger opponent.” “It's the only way he can win,” replies The Judge. “If Cross can get the advantage back and hit his big power moves, Daredevil might not have the juice to last very long. “The sooner it ends, the sooner we see the new and improved Maddix beats Spike around,” quips Ejiro. Sensing that the tide on his side, Daredevil waits for Cross to get up, runs from the corner, and attempts a RUNNING BULLDOG! Only, Cross blocks the move and sends the rookie into the corner! Cross is right on the Horned One with a vengeance, laying in several big forearms and elbows to a pop from the crowd. He then sends 'Devil into the corner and when he pops out for it, the man from Parts Unknown eats a BIG BOOT! “Daredevil has to be feeling that big size fifteen boot of Cross,” Annie says. “He also has to figure out a way to avoid falling to the big power moves of David.” “How do you know he's a size fifteen,” asks Ejiro. “I thought you didn't need to check out guy's shoe sizes with the muff diving and all.” “It's called research, Ejiro,” replies Annie. “Like I know your show size is a six.” “Hey!” Cross drops a big legdrop to another cheer from the audience, then picks Daredevil up and rocks him with a big suplex! Cross raises his first to the crowd, and tries for a German Suplex, but Daredevil isn't ready to fall quite yet.... ELBOW! POP! ELBOW! POP! “Go-behind by Daredevil on Cross,” calls Annie. Daredevil hits the big German Suplex, but doesn't even bother with trying to get a pinfall, releasing the bridge immediately. Cross gets up fairly quickly, but is taken right down by a headscissors takeover to a cheer from the crowd! With David temporarily out of sorts, Daredevil quickly goes to the top and takes him down with a beautiful CROSS BODY! Unrelenting for a second, the Horned One then takes Cross right back to the mat with a ENZUIGIRI! “Just one move was all it took to get Daredevil back in this match,” The Judge says. “He obviously has a gameplan.” “Yeah, be a goody good,” says Ejiro. “He has a billy club, why doesn't he use it?” “Maybe because he wants to win fairly,” asks Annie. “There's still some people who aren't like you.” “Hey, I won fair once or twice.” “Like when?” “Sixth grade spelling bee, I think.” As Ejiro ruminates about his elementary years, Daredevil climbs to the top as Cross gets up, a bit wobbly. As he turns around, Cross is dropped right back down with a MOONSAULT! Quick kick to the gut and then David is down for a pin after a DDT.... ONE! TWO! T – BIG KICKOUT! “Cross isn't even close to done here,” Annie says. “He's like the Energizer Bunny,” replies Ejiro. “Too bad no one's dropped a safe on either one of them.” “A bit dark, Fasaki.” Daredevil just shrugs and picks up Cross and in a nice display of strength, puts his shoulders down with a GERMAN SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! TH – KICKOUT! Cross gets up as Daredevil waits a bit tenative, and leaps onto David with another RANA! But, this time the man from Oil City is ready and rearranges Daredevil's spine with a SITDOWN POWERBOMB to a BIG POP! “Daredevil's vertebrae cannot feel very great after that momentum changing move by Cross,” says Annie. “Now, can Cross maintain the momentum.” “Ah, please,” says Ejiro. “I take moves like that every day and do you see me crying? No. I just go out and do things like pin the World Champion!” “The jacuzzi in your hotel room helps,” says The Judge. “You got a jacuzzi,” snaps Annie as Cross lays in some forearms on Daredevil. “Well, unlike some people, I paid attention when I was signing my contract,” replies Ejiro. “So I get a jacuzzi and you get the economy suite at the Motel Six.” Cross, satisfied with the number of forearms he's dropped on Daredevil, puts him in position and rocks him with a nasty, nasty HALF NELSON SUPLEX! Not even going for the pin, Cross rolls to the corner and when the cruiser gets up, he gets ran over with a SPEAR! “I do believe that counts as continuing the momentum,” says The Judge. “Cross trying to keep undefeated here in the SJL. He could get a title shot in the near future if he continues on this roll.” “That'll be the day I weep,” says Ejiro sarcastically. “At least then, I can ice skate in Hell.” “No, that happened when Jenkins won the SJL title,” adds in Annie. “Damn, the carpet muncher is right.” “Ejiro!” “What, Judge?” “Do the letters F-C-C mean anything to you?” “Not really.” Cross kicks Daredevil in the gut, then knees his head to a buzz from the audience, as they know what's next. However, so did the Daredevil. He ducks under the Crescent Kick, and hits an off balance Cross with an ENZUIGIRI! “Just like that, this match is back to an even keel, here live on Metal!” Annie shouts. “That's right Annie, just shill like you were born to,” adds in Ejiro. Ignoring Fasaki, The Judge replies, “If Daredevil can make something out of it, set up that Phoenix Splash of his, stay on the attack. If he gets grounded, he can say goodbye to any hope of winning.” Daredevil races off the far ropes and hits a spread eagled Cross with a nicely executed SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! As the crowd pops, Daredevil plays to the crowd a little, then grabs the slightly out of it David's arm, and hits a quick armbreaker! As David gets to this feet, still not completely sure of where he is, Daredevil leaps from the second rope and applies a SLEEPER! “Old School,” cries Ejiro, with a little bit of irony behind his exclamation. “You wouldn't know old school if it bit you in the ass, Fasaki,” replies Annie. “Says the lesbian, intergender wrestling, woman,” quips The Judge. “Nice one,” Ejiro says. “Well, you weren't going to think of anything clever.” “Well – hey!” As Cross seems to get woozy from the submission hold, Daredevil finds the strength reserve to pick Cross off his feet and hit a SLEEPER DROP! Daredevil rolls over for the pin... ONE! TWO! TH – KICKOUT! Cross kicks out with authority, and charges Daredevil as the smaller grappler gets up. But, Daredevil is still more aware than Cross, and ducks and as a result, Cross goes over the top to the outside! As the fans pop, Daredevil launches himself over the ropes on an recovering Cross with a SOMERSAULT TOPE! “DARE-DEVIL!” “DARE-DEVIL!” “CROSS! CROSS! CROSS!” “Big chance taken by the SJL rookie, and it looks have paid off as David Cross is sprawled out on the ground like a mugging victim,” cries Annie. “That might have been the beginning of the end for Cross.” “OK, I'll admit, that was sweet. Nice air. Too bad it was done by a dweeb,” Ejiro says. “Do you have kind words for anybody who the fans like?” “Not really.” As Cross gets to his knees, Daredevil points to the crowd, then leaps on the railing, as Cross is about to get to his feet, the 207 pound rocket comes off the rail, and hits a beautiful HEADSCISSORS TAKEOVER! Cross ends up by the steps as Daredevil readies himself... “Daredevil really looks like the man who could end David's undefeated days here in the SJL,” says The Judge. ...and runs into the corner of the ring and attemps to dropkick Cross into the steps! But, Cross rolls away and DAREDEVIL EATS THE FLOOR! “Well, maybe I spoke too soon,” adds in The Judge quickly. “Can't either of these two take the momentum for more than seven seconds,” asks Ejiro. “If it was me in there, the match would've been over hours ago.” “Er, the match hasn't been going on for anything close to an hour buddy.” “Whatever. Hours, minutes, all I know is that it's been too long.” Cross picks up Daredevil and sends him right into the RAILING! After laying in a few stiff elbow shots, Cross rolls Daredevil in and raises his arm to the crowd as they pop like good little marks. “Cross could be ready to begin a Black Mass here,” says Annie. “Daredevil is down, but he's not out it seems,” replies The Judge. “Won't one of them just lose already and save some time for the real stars,” Ejiro whines to no one in particular. Annie replies, “Well, Todd took up enough time at the beginning of the show, just rambling. “But he's Todd. He can do that.” Cross to a crowd pop, kicks Daredevil in the gut and then locks in and executes a quite nice CRADLE PILEDRIVER to a BIG POP! Then, on a roll, Cross waits for Daredevil to get up. 'Devil is ready for it, but not quick enough as David nails the... “YAZUUUKA~” exclaims Annie as the crowd explodes! “Perhaps he is trying to finish things off here,” replies The Judge. “Not the smart thing to do, but expected.” Pin by Cross... ONE! TWO! THRE – SHOULDER UP! Cross raises his arm to the crowd and tries to start the beginning of Daredevil's end with a vicious SHORT ARM LARIAT, but Daredevil ducks and executes a quick kick to the shin! Another quick strike and Daredevil tries for the surprise Rana, but Cross catches him and jars the rookie's spine again with a SPINEBUSTAH~! “I'm not sure how much more pressure on his back Daredevil can take. The slams, the spinebusters, the big moves, this could all lead to the end for the newcomer,” Annie says. “Good riddance. Maybe he can make a sequel to Armageddon.” “For the last time, that is not Ben Affleck.” “How do you know? Did you see under his mask?” The Judge steps in, “Ejiro, take this under consideration. If our esteemed Commissioner had signed Affleck, would he keep him under a mask?” “Point noted. He is a greedy SOB.” “Exactly,” replies The Judge. As the crowd continues to pop and buzz, David puts his right hand around Daredevil's throat to a large pop, but the Horned One is not about to fall that easy, as he blocks the move with several kicks to the shin, then takes Cross down with a DDT! Feeling it, Daredevil immediately goes to the apron and hits a SOMERSAULT LEGDROP on Cross! As the crowd pops like mad, he dropkicks Cross in the back of the head, then picks the heavyweight in a locked position and nails a great GERMAN SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! THRE – KICKOUT! “CROSS! CROSS! CROSS!” “DARE – DEVIL!” “DARE-DEVIL!” “Daredevil nearly gets the pin and this crowd is rocking here in Buffalo,” Annie says as the crowd cheers. “While, they're in Buffalo,” adds Ejiro. “Sunlight gets a standing ovation here, so I'm not that impressed.” Daredevil follows up the suplex with several chops and right hands before whipping Cross into the ropes, and dropping him straight on his head with a FLOATING DDT! On a roll, the vigilante then brings up and over with a huge RANA and goes for the pin... ONE! TWO! THR – SHOULDER UP! “CROSS! CROSS! CROSS!” “Neither man quite ready to give up the ghost here on Metal, as David Cross seem to be in a bad position at the moment,” says Annie. “One move can change that though,” The Judge replies. “That kickout was a message that he isn't out of this by any means.” Ejiro adds in, “Maybe it was just a muscle twitch.” Pointing to Cross, Daredevil runs to the corner and again hits a huge MOONSAULT as the wildly cheerring crowd counts along with the referee... “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” No! The ref holds up two as Daredevil positions a groggy Cross, brings him up and hits a PILEDRIVER! “Huge move by Daredevil,” exclaims Annie! “Not exactly greatly executed though,” replies The Judge. “Cross was too heavy for a true piledriver, so Daredevil has to make due with a stump piledriver.” “But, Daredevil is heading up top again and this could be it. Yes, he flies off the top...FLIGHT OF THE FEARLESS!” FLASHBULBS! POP! “OOH!” “Cross got his knees up, he actually has a brain!” yells Ejiro! “Both men down, and whoever gets up first could be in control for the win,” says Annie. Both men get up warily, but Cross seems more concious as Daredevil charges him. The big man from Oil City is ready and kicks the Guardian Devil in the gut, and then drops him right on his neck with a BRAINBUSTER! “DARE-DEVIL!” “CROSS!” Raising his first to the crowd, David pulls up Daredevil and absolutely nails him with a SHORT ARM LARIAT! As the crowd pops like mad, Cross pulls the lightweight up, kicks him in the gut... “Daredevil is about to be an unwitting particerpant in a -” begins Annie. ...and finishes him off with the powerbomb to spinebuster called the... “-BLACK MASS!” Cross covers, the crowd counts along as the ref slaps his hand... “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” 'Back on Earth' kicks in as Cross goes to the turnbuckle and climbs it, raising his fist to the crowd! “David Cross with another impressive victory, and he could be in line for a title shot in the near future,” says Annie. “God forbid,” replies Ejiro. “We'll be right back with a ladder match involving coal between Frankie Deeds and Sean Casey...” Fade to commericals.